#[ i have So many thoughts n feelings ab roger and his love for life and his friends

[pirateborn-a]

Roger is sooo,,,

[sunvmars]

sour | s.r. [2]

pairing: steve rogers x afab/fem reader

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word count: 3.2k

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of abortion, pregnancy/pregnant reader- that's ab it

summary: you and steve discuss plans for the pregnancy, steve faces the consequences of his actions

a/n: oh boy have i got a little plot twist coming for y'all soon. also, the chapters will get longer as more of the story is revealed!

“I’m pregnant, Steve.”

Steve's hold on you became a little tighter. He found himself unable to fully process the information you'd just dropped on him; you being pregnant wasn't something he had even considered. You stood still in his arms, allowing him time to process the news and awaiting any type of response from him. He took a deep breath, his mind racing with thoughts and emotions. The words kept repeating in his head; she’s pregnant, she's pregnant, she's…pregnant.

"Steve? Did you hear me?" you questioned, voice slightly muffled by how you were being pressed into his chest.

Only after hearing your voice again did he move. He released his grip on you and took a step back to look you in the eyes. His eyebrows furrowed, his expression containing a mix of disbelief and confusion. There was something else hidden below the surface of his gaze too- a deep-rooted concern. A concern not only for you but for the tiny little life growing inside of you too, the life both of you created.

"What..? I'm sorry, this is just, uhm, wow."

You cock an eyebrow up at him, "That's all you've got to say?"

When he doesn't respond, you scoff. His eyes search the room as he tries to avoid direct eye contact with you.

"Well, now that you've made this abnormally awkward, I think I'm gonna go home now," you chuckle, trying to hide your irritation, ''Since I'm having your baby, please feel free to call me when you've got something else to add, alright?"

He grabs your arm when you turn to leave, "Wait. I'm sorry, y/n. Come inside, please. We can talk in here.”

Reluctantly, you allowed Steve to guide you into the apartment. His grip on your arm stayed gentle but firm like he thought you were gonna turn and run away at any moment. Once fully inside, you noticed how everything seemed so familiar yet foreign at the same time. Most of the pictures were off the wall except for two.

One picture was one that Tony had taken at the beach a year ago. The photo was of you, Steve, and Bucky sitting in the sand. You were laying in Steve's lap with your head resting on his chest while playing rock, paper, scissors with Bucky for the last slice of Steve's birthday cake.

The other photo just had you and Steve on your first date. You'd made him take a picture with you in front of the movie theater you went to. It was the oldest theater in town and, at some point during the night, you made a joke about how the theater was the only thing as old as him in the city.

He'd rolled his eyes at the joke but found himself unable to contain a smile when he saw your face light up as you laughed. You were witty, and that was his favorite thing about you, even if he was on the butt end of the joke. As long as you still had that pretty smile on your face, he didn't care how many jokes you made about him.

The soft, white couch you'd picked out together when the two of you first moved in was still there too and so was your favorite vase. The vase was missing the flowers though- the flowers he'd come home with every Friday without fail. More often than not, the ones he bought the week before weren't even dead yet, but he'd buy you new ones anyways.

"Ma used to tell me that if someone buys you flowers and they don't die for a long time, that means they really love you. But it's unavoidable that they'll die eventually, right? So I figured that if I buy you new ones before the old ones die then you'll never get the chance to forget how much I love you," he explained, leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead.

"Right, but what if I forget anyway?" you joked with a smile.

And then he shrugged and gave you a peck on your nose, "Then it's a good thing I'll be right here to remind you, honey," he cooed.

You bit your tongue, forcing the lump in your throat to go back down upon remembering all of the moments you shared. This was your home until just a couple of months ago, and now it felt like you were standing in a shell of what used to be your safe space.

Steve led you to the living room, the last room you'd been in before he gave up on your future together. He gestured for you to take a seat and you plopped into your favorite recliner that didn't even seem like it'd been touched since you left. The tension in the room was palpable as he sat on the far end of the couch, the side farthest away from you.

"You scared I'm gonna bite you or something?" you joked, rubbing a hand over your aching stomach.

He gave a short-lived chuckle before speaking, "Listen, I'm sorry for my reaction," he began, his voice filled with sincerity, "I didn't expect this, and I'm sure you didn't either."

You nodded to show your understanding, "It's alright, this is a lot for both of us."

"What do you wanna do..?"

"Me?"

His brain blanks as he tries to think of whether or not he'd said something wrong.

"Yeah?" he finally says, almost saying it like a question.

"It's not just my decision, Steven. You get a say in this too."

"I do?"

You laugh a little at his confusion, "Yes. You do."

"I'm sorry, it's just that with everything that happened I... I'm trying to say that I'd understand if you didn't want me involved in this decision," he says, looking down at the floor to avoid your eyes.

"Steve, look at me," you begin, pausing until he looks back up at you, "I wouldn't leave this choice up to just me. Whatever decision we make has to work for both of us though."

He looks up at you with surprise etched all over his face, "Thank you, y/n. It's more than I deserve."

"Mhm, tell me about it," you sigh while still rubbing a hand soothingly over your stomach, trying to ease the nausea.

He's silent, avoiding the dreaded breakup conversation. Luckily enough, neither of you are ready to have that discussion yet. He claps his hands together in his lap quietly and clears his throat to get rid of the silence.

"Do you know how far along you are?"

"No, not yet. I have to find a doctor. I'll ask Tony to make the call for me tomorrow."

"So, what do you wanna do?" he asks again, emphasizing the 'you,' "Have you thought about...you know?"

"The alternative? Yeah, I thought about it for a bit, but I think I wanna keep it. I've only known about the little guy for less than an hour and I'm already attached."

What you said was true, you did think about every possible alternative from abortion to adoption; but at some point on the way here, you'd decided on keeping it. You feel a bit of hope when you look down at your stomach. You smile to yourself, momentarily forgetting all your troubles. Though your smile is quickly replaced with a frown when you remember the situation at hand. You look up to lock eyes with him, seeing he's clearly hesitating to respond.

"But if you don't want this, I can raise him or her alone. Y'know, move out of town or move a few states away to be closer to family so there are no unwanted run-ins. The whole nine yards," you say softly, wiping a stray tear off your cheek.

"Oh, y/n," he mumbles, "I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this- I didn't want any of this."

You take in his words, trying to make sense of them. You felt your heart beginning to break as he remained silent. How can he just give up so easily before it even gets hard? Not that you'd pressure him into raising a kid he didn't want, I mean you did give him the choice, but his words still come as a surprise.

"So, the whole nine yards it is then?"

"I'm sorry, y/n..."

“I need you to look at me and say it, please.”

Steve looked around the room, appearing as though he was about to cry. His eyes finally land on you and you swear there's bits of guilt and regret in them.

"I don't want this baby."

That was all you needed. Hearing him say the words to you only solidified that y/n l/n and Steve Rogers didn't stand another damn chance. You sniffled as you stood up, trying to conceal any glimpse of sadness he could possibly see in you. You make your way to the door and go to turn the handle only for him to start speaking and stop you in your tracks.

"Y/n. I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't expecting any of this. I don't know what I want yet."

"Of course you do, Steven, you just said it," you say with a fake smile as you turn to look at him, "I'm not upset with you for not wanting this, but I'm disappointed that you're not the man I thought you were. If you change your mind, you know where to find me, but decide soon because I won't let you be in and out of our lives."

With that, you leave and quietly shut the door behind you.

The drive back to the tower is entirely too slow and painful. You slipped your shoes off once back inside the comfort of your room and made your way to the bathroom to run a bath. After sinking in the warm bubbles and water, you unlocked your phone to unblock Steve's number. You awaited a text as you bathed- a text that never came, that is. You felt a little silly for ever thinking he'd want this with you but brush the feeling off quickly as it makes you feel physically sick.

You dry off, slip into your favorite night clothes, then slip under your covers. After trying to fall asleep for four hours and either waking up after a few minutes or not being able to fall asleep at all, you text Bucky to see if he's awake. It's about 3 a.m., but he responds after only five minutes to tell you he's coming to your room. The fact that he knew you wanted him to come over without saying it had a smile spreading across your lips.

When he arrived, you hugged him tightly and let out a shaky breath you'd been holding. He pulled away from the hug and looked at you with a concerned expression painted on his face.

"What's wrong?" he asks, hands resting on your arms.

"I'm pregnant, Buck."

You laugh a little to hide the way your voice cracked but Bucky sees right through it. He frowns at the sight of you, taking in the dark bags under your eyes and your skin that was paler than your usual tone.

"Let's go sit down, yeah?" he smiles warmly.

The two of you sit on your bed in silence as you lay your head on his shoulder. You make small talk after a few minutes, Bucky mainly asking questions about what you plan to do and how you feel.

"I'm guessing you told Steve?" he inquires.

He feels you nod slowly against his shoulder and he takes it as a sign to continue.

"And how did he take it?"

You shrug before speaking, "It seemed like he wanted to be a part of it all at first...then he said he didn't want this, but then he said he wasn't sure."

"Huh," he sighs out of confusion, "You know I'm here for you though, right? Both of you are my best friends, no matter how stupid he's being."

"I know you are," you reply.

"I know it's early and all, but have you thought about if you want a girl or boy?" he asks cautiously, worried the topic might upset you, "If you keep it, that is," he quickly adds.

"Buck, can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I went to Steve's to get his input, but I think I decided to keep it as soon as I found out about it. I hate Steve so much right now, but this baby is a piece of both of us. I can't bring myself to get rid of something so innocent just for being a part of him," you explain, "I know it's not that simple for other people, but I did want kids with him eventually. I'm not unhappy with the pregnancy, I'm unhappy with the circumstances. Boy or girl, I'll be overjoyed either way."

He smiles to himself briefly, "You've got the biggest heart, you know that? You'll be a wonderful mother, y/n, and I mean that."

As hard as he tries to come up with an explanation for his friend's odd behavior, he can't. He'd promised you that he wouldn't go digging for answers when you broke up, you'd told him you didn't care to know and that it wasn't his problem. You're his friend, so he respected that. But now? Now it wasn't just you that Steve was abandoning, which meant that now he had to have answers.

Your breathing slows after a little bit, a sign that he recognizes as you getting sleepy. Slowly, he lays down, cradling your body so that you lay down with him. He lets you rest your head on him as he strokes your hair back soothingly. He waits until he hears your soft snores to gently ease your head onto your pillow before getting off the bed. He'd decided that he was going to get answers, even if it was three-forty in the morning.

Back at the apartment, Steve had only moved once to turn off the lights, pour a glass of alcohol, and sit in your recliner. He would never say it now but he hated being alone in the apartment without you. This wasn't his home, and it never was, not without you there with him. The space that used to be filled with your laughter and your love now felt void of anything other than cold. He sat in the dark, alone with his thoughts, as he did almost every night since you broke up.

His phone buzzed, startling him out of his thoughts. The timing of him getting a message was unusual given the late hour. He picked up the phone and saw it was from Bucky, he smiled softly in hopes that his friend would offer some sort of help. He was sadly mistaken.

Bucky: We need to talk.

Steve frowned at the cryptic message as he typed a response.

Steve: About what?

Bucky's reply was swift.

Bucky: You know exactly what.

A knock sounded at the door no more than ten minutes later. He sighed, mentally preparing himself for whatever talking to he was about to get.

"It's open," he called out.

The door opened to reveal Bucky. As he walked in, the light from outside lit up his face and allowed Steve to see his expression of concern and irritation. He closed the door behind him and then turned to face Steve.

"I'm starting to worry you're turning into a vampire or something, punk. Why are you sitting with all the lights off again? Haven't we had this talk before?" he questions, flipping the overhead light on, "Have you been crying again?"

Steve groans and rubs his wet eyes with his free hand, "No," he lies.

His eyes narrow in Bucky's direction as he walks towards where he's sitting. Steve then brings the drink up to his lips to take a sip only to have it yanked away.

"Buck-"

"Now this is new, is this alcohol?" Bucky asks, bringing the glass up to his nose only to recoil at the scent, "Steve, oh my God, What is in this?"

"Whiskey, tequila, a little bit of everything. Well, everything she left here."

Bucky looks away, desperately trying to contain a laugh, "You can't even get drunk. What are you doing? What's the end goal here?"

"The taste helps me forget how big of an idiot I am," Steve confesses as he snatches his drink back, "It's like a punishment."

"Glad you know you're an idiot, it makes my job here easier."

"Did she send you over here," Steve asks, looking up at Bucky through his eyelashes.

"No, she didn't. But she told me what happened and I came here on my own," Bucky responds, "You know as well as I do that she can fight her own battles."

"Then why are you here?"

"To check on you. And like you said, you're an idiot. I'm here to figure out why you're being such an idiot, though. Whatever Steve you've been for the last four months isn't the Steve I know."

When he doesn't answer, Bucky continues talking, "I've let this go on for far too long. I should've asked when I noticed you were acting weird, but I chalked it up to how rough that last Hydra mission was. But this whole baby thing is the last straw, Steve. I've had to put up with your dumb decisions recently, I deserve an explanation. The woman carrying your child does more so, but we'll get to that."

Steve let out a heavy sigh and his shoulders slumped as he realized there was no escaping the conversation. Bucky had always been a straightforward friend. For as long as they knew each other, he was never one to beat around the bush, and he wasn't about to start letting Steve get away with stuff now.

"I don't even know where to start," Steve admits, his voice laced with frustration.

He takes another sip of his drink, hoping it might give him the kick he needs to explain himself. His face turns up at the taste and Bucky tries yet again to conceal a laugh.

"Okay, enough of that," he says, taking the drink back out of Steve's hands.

Bucky crosses his arms and sits on the end of the couch closest to Steve, giving him a stern look, "How about you try starting with why you decided to walk away from her? She's the best thing that ever happened to you, Steve, we both know that."

Steve winces at his words. He knew Bucky was right, as he usually was, but facing the same truth every day didn't make it hurt any less. It actually hurt worse since he knew that this entire situation was his fault.

"So?" Bucky says, urging Steve to speak.

Bucky instinctively brings the glass up to his lips and takes a sip. His expression turns from understanding to disgust as he spits the drink back into the cup.

Steve chuckles under his breath, "Habit?"

"Think it was the feeling of the cup in my hand, not sure why I did that. Guess old habits do die hard," Bucky explains, "Anyways, get to the explaining."

"I... I don't know, Buck. I messed up, bad."

"We already know that, care to elaborate?" Bucky prodded.

"It wasn't up to me, Buck," Steve sighs, speaking again when he sees Bucky's confused look, "Remember that Hydra mission you were just talking about?"

taglist! @vicmc624 @tooruen @athenabarnes @blackhawkfanatic

to be added to or removed from the tag list for this series, leave a comment or message me :) submissions and asks are now also open

[ramp-it-up]

...And Forever

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Enhanced!Reader; Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

AU: MCU A/U, after TFATWS

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. SMUT! Read at your own risk. Alternate MCU facts/timeline, lies, cursing, angst,  oral, (F, M receiving) fingering, spit play rank kink, size kink, unprotected sex (wrap it up!), sex on a pool table, semi-public sex, a special surprise, stalker-ish behavior, almost Dark!Steve? Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N: I am an MCU nerd but not a timeline detail gal. Please forgive me if the timeline is off. This is an alternate universe and a work of fiction. Please have fun with it! This is the second part to Always.  Enjoy!

---------------------

You opened your eyes to see that you were in what looked like a break room. There was a coffee machine, a round table with five chairs, a row of lockers, two Captain Americas, and a Winter Soldier.

There was some strange conversation going on.

“Then who gave me the shield at the lake…?”  

Sam was questioning Steve, but he stopped talking when you started moving around.  You must have still been in the wedding venue, because you saw the name of the historic building on various items in the room. 

You scowled up at Sam, Bucky and Steve.

You moved to sit up and Steve was at your side. “Easy…”

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

You squinted at Steve. His hair was shorter and he was clean shaven, but he was still gorgeous. Those blue eyes were full of concern. 

You raised your hand, and he held it, holding it and caressing it as you raised it to his face.

“Is it really you?”

Steve smiled ruefully at you. “Yeah, it’s me.”

You held his cheek and looked at him, bringing your other hand up to the other side of his face. He smiled at you. 

You grabbed him and hugged him hard, and then pulled back again as he held you in his arms. He moved back and pursed those ruby red lips. 

You had this irresistible urge to...slap the shit out of him. And so you did.

The sound reverberated in the room. Steve just stared up at you, with that fucking beautiful face, and then smiled, rubbing his jaw as if it hurt. 

But you knew it didn’t. And you were tired of the bullshit.

Sam and Bucky moved to calm you down, but you were too quick for them, pacing to the other side of the room. 

“All of you can stay the hell away from me. Y’all have some fuckin nerve. Especially you, Steven.”  

Your Houston accent was shining through with your anger.

“Wow, Sweetheart, that was harsh. But I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

You pointed at Steve.

“Fuck you.” 

You were seething, especially when he raised his eyebrow at your comment. But he quickly fixed his face when he saw the rage on yours. You looked at Sam, who just looked down, and at Bucky, who looked like he was in pain.  

Fuck thier feelings.

“I deserve your anger. I didn't tell…” Steve tried it. 

“You don’t deserve a got damn thing. Not even my anger.” 

Steve was stone faced at your vitriol. You were shaking, trying to control your emotions and not cry.  You were so hot. You fought to keep your voice steady.

“I thought you were dead.” It came out as a ragged whisper. But you knew everyone heard you.

Your voice was low, even, and scary. Bucky looked at you with wide eyes. Your own were brimming with tears.

“I thought you were dead and that they didn’t want to tell me.” 

You waved your hand at Bucky and Sam. And you waited until Steve looked you in the eyes again. 

“I thought you were in prison, that someone, on some alien star, forced you to play some sick gladiator games. Or that HYDRA was still around and they turned you into an agent for them. Or that you lost your memory in the blip. So many scenarios played in my mind, Steven.”

Steve knew better than to talk. This was his time to listen.

“But I never ever once thought that you chose this. Never thought it was your choice to leave and to stay away.”

“Listen…” Sam started speaking.

“Shut the fuck UP, Samuel.” 

If you had Bucky’s knives, all of them would be seriously injured right now.  

“You knew that he was alive and you didn’t tell me. Despite me begging for any kind of information.”  

Sam just pursed his lips and returned your glare.  You were right.

You went and stood in front of Bucky.

“James…” 

He looked at you, those pained eyes making your stomach flip.  

“How could you?  You knew?”

He just stared at you. Retreating into not speaking.

Steve spoke up.

“Yes, I left. Yes, it was my choice.  I thought I could… Well, let’s just say that hindsight is 20/20 and you can’t ever go back. I swore Sam and Buck to secrecy and I asked them to take care of you.  This all just got out of hand.  Didn’t it Buck?”

You watched Steve in disbelief and you swiveled your head toward Bucky and Sam again.

“You both lied to me. And Sam. Did you tell Steve to come back and ruin my life?”

Sam scoffed, offended. “No. I didn’t. S.H.I.E.L.D gave Steve quarterly updates.  You and Bucky happened so fast…” 

You ignored his explanation.

“But you knew exactly where he’d gone.”

“Yes.” Sam was cornered.

You turned back to Bucky. 

“I asked you a question earlier. Did you know?”

He nodded, imperceptibly.  “Doll… I…”

“James Buchanan Barnes. You knew?” Your heart was breaking even more than it was.

“Yes, but it’s complicated. He didn’t come back, at least not the way he left, and I thought it was a done deal. I thought he found…”

You interrupted him. 

“What. Happiness?” 

You turned back to Steve. “Is that what you were looking for, Steve? Happiness?”

“Sweetheart, you made me happy, I just had the chance to finally settle some unfinished business.”

You nodded.

“So James here took advantage of your little vacation to get with his best friend's girl while you explored your other options. Cool.”

It was not cool.

“Do you remember when you asked me if you could trust me, Steve?”  

He just gave a little smile and came to stand before you, looking down at you in that way of his.  He was trying to shake you. You were unshakeable. You raised your chin and looked right in his eyes.

“What you don’t understand is that you can’t pick and choose the pieces of life that you want, Steven.” 

You moved away from all of them. Steve stepped toward you, but stopped when you held up your hand.

“I’ve lived my life for everyone else, for this country, for as long as I can remember.  I deserve a little piece of life, Sweetheart.”  

Steve really believed what he was saying.

“What about me? Do I get a choice?”

Steve looked around at his two best friends, who were now best friends, and his best girl.

“You’re right. I think you should. You should choose.”

Your mouth hinged open. You spoke at the wall, then looked at Bucky.

“What about you, James? Do I need to choose?”

Bucky walked in front of you

“No Doll. You don’t have to choose.”  

You looked up into his eyes.  Damn, he looked so handsome in his bespoke grey suit that he chose for the wedding. And the tie that you gave him set off his eyes.  

“I just….  I just wanted a piece of happiness too. I knew you were Steve’s girl.”  He took both of your hands in his. 

“I don’t deserve you. When Steve didn’t come back, and you and I connected, I couldn’t help it. I was just going to keep an eye out, but…”

He gave you that cute little side smile of his.  And then he kissed you. It was short and sweet and oh so hot. You looked up at him, shook to the core. And then he ruined it all.

“I love you Doll. It was nice while it lasted.” 

Bucky was giving up. 

You nodded and backed away. Not believing this situation. 

“Ok. I’m making my choice.” 

You raised your chin and looked at Steve and Bucky.

“I’m not some fucking marble that you pass around, play with, and trade with your friend.” 

You took a deep breath.  “I choose me.”

You were gone in a flash, before they could even register it.  And although they ran, they couldn’t catch you before you were out of reach.

-----

Three months later, you walked through the late August soup of Houston heat to the bar, pausing when you thought you heard footfalls behind you. You used your speed to zip along to Willy’s; you were safe there.

You were back sharking with the best of them.  But your training was put to good use.  You never got burned and you never got caught.  You were making a good living.  

There were a jumble of misfit super humans who had gathered there with you.  You were a leader now. And you were doing well on your own. It was a life.

You already knew he was coming, and maybe that’s why you moved to the back room to play.

You were prepared, but when you felt him, you still lost your breath.  But you recovered quickly, straightening your spine, despite the fact that he was standing so close to you.

You looked at the dartboard on the wall across from you and chalked your cue.

“Don’t you have other things to take care of? Other wheres? Other whens maybe?”

You learned more about time travel since you’d left New York, and you understood more of what happened. 

The Avengers had access to time travel.  If only you could go back… but no. You were stronger than those men.  You could live with your decisions. And move forward.

“No. What I need to take care of is right here. Right now.”  

His deep growl stirred something inside you, and you fought your body, which was becoming moist at his proximity.

You bent over the table, super soldier dick poking you in the ass before you drew your pool cue back sharply into his stomach.  Abs of steel met the cue and nearly broke it.  He just stepped aside and shook his head at you.

You turned your head to look into his aqua blue eyes and you fell in love all over again.  Shit.

You gave up and turned around, leaning back against the pool table, because he wasn’t giving an inch, not moving from your space.

You scanned the room and your people were watching, but keeping your distance. They all knew who he was, and your history. They gave you space, but wouldn’t let you be hurt without a fight. You nodded at them and they all went to the front, giving you more privacy.

He nodded in their direction. 

“People fall under your spell fast, I know that all too well. They trust you.”

You lifted your head. “I’ve never done anything to make them not trust me.”

He sighed.  “Point taken.”

“Why did you come here?  I know that you’ve known where I was. Sam must have told you.” 

“I’ve known where you were. How could I not? I didn’t need Sam to tell me. It’s not like you were trying to hide.”  

He cocked his head at you.

“But the reason that I’m here, now, is that I’ve always been slow at math. And I just put two and two together.”

You smirked up at him. “You’re right. This is home. A leopard doesn’t change her stripes.”

He just chuckled at your evasion.

“You wanna play a game?” 

His eyes followed you, undeterred by your challenge.

You walked around to the other side of the table, leaned over and gathered the balls to be racked. 

You held two in one hand and looked at him.  He smiled and the electricity at the small of your back was everything. He slowly walked around to you as you racked them.

He took in your form (including your ample cleavage) as you bent over the table and your mouth as you said the word, “Break.”

“I’m tired of playing games, Doll. I’m just here to win you back.”

You turned around and faced him, looking up at him, now aware of his smell.  You closed your eyes and inhaled leather and metal. You opened them again and his eyes were blazing.

“James.. I”  

Bucky grabbed your face, hands gently cradling your head, and cut you off with a kiss, his lips gentle at first. Then his hands moved to your hips and lifted you onto the table. He slotted himself in between your thighs, your bodies separated by the same brand of black denim. 

His lips and tongue seemed determined to possess you. Bucky kissed and felt your body like he hadn’t in a lifetime. His hands roamed you like they were starved from touching you. 

Your hands were on his neck and in his hair, relishing the feel of him. You’d  missed him so fucking much. You drew apart, and his breath fanned your face as you two panted together, his forehead resting on yours.

“I am never going to let you go again.”

“James…”

“Hold on Doll, I’ve got to say this.” 

He smiled and gave you another quick peck.  You nodded, solemn.

“I said the wrong thing back in Brooklyn. I don’t care that you were with him first. I don’t care if you think that you might want to be with him. When I fell for you, I fell harder than I ever have. Even from the train.”  

He was whispering the words you wanted to hear months ago, causing you to cry.  But a lot of things caused you to cry lately. 

Bucky smiled at you, his eyes crinkling in that adorable way that you loved. You opened your mouth to speak and he kissed you, silencing you again. You responded with a smile. He continued.

“I know that you think that I folded and just gave up on you on our wedding day. I was just thinking that I don’t deserve you. Especially next to Steve.  I mean, you won’t find a better man.  But in the time since, I’ve realized, even though it’s hard. I’m a good man too.”

“You are, James…”

“You helped me come to terms with everything that’s happened. Sam has helped me deal with everything I did...and I’m not perfect, and neither are you, but we can be perfect for each other.”  

You nodded, smiling a little.

“I’m in love with you and I deserve you. You deserve me. We deserve each other.  And I’m not saying this because I think you saved me. But you are the strongest woman I know, enough to be with me when I am weak. I figured out that I can be strong for you too. I have to be now. I am so sorry that I let you walk away. But I’m not going to let you out of my sight now, even if you don’t want to be with me.  But I am asking you, again. Be my family. Make one with me. Choose me.”

You shook your head as tears fell from your eyes.

“James Barnes, there was never ever any choice. It’s you. It will be you. Forever.”

Bucky let out a sigh of relief and started kissing you all over your face, down your neck and into your cleavage.

“I was scared shitless, Doll! I love you so much,…”

You kissed him now, your hands under his jacket, slipping it off his shoulders. Next, you went under his shirt, feeling his nipples, playing with them as he shuddered. Then your hands went up to one cold shoulder and one warm, grasping them as he ground his hard jeans covered crotch into yours.

“Too many clothes.”

You ended up helping him pull his shirt over his head. You trailed your hand back down his abs to the button on his jeans.

“I missed you James. My hormones are going crazy, Baby…”  

His eyes got wide as you popped the top button and bit your lip.  Bucky moaned.  He was about to explode just being near you.

“Th-that’s what we need to talk about…”

“Talk later. Fuck. Now.”

Bucky looked over your shoulder to the other room. To his surprise, the door was now closed.

“Wow, they…”

You hopped down from the table and got on your knees in front of him.

“You gonna let me suck your dick or not James?”

He looked down at you smirking up at him and could feel himself leaking in his jeans.  Three months of his hand had been torture, thinking of you.  

It seemed as if he unfastened and pulled himself out without knowing.  For a moment he feared mind control. 

But it was just love and lust.

You grasped him, testing his girth and admiring how your fingers did not meet around his cock.  

“Mmmmmmmm,” you moaned while you thumbed his tip, collecting the pre-cum and lubricating him as you pumped.

He stared at you, slack jawed and sexy as he watched you.  He reached down and put his hand in your hair, massaging your scalp.

You commanded him. “Eyes on me, Sergeant.”

Bucky locked eyes with you and watched as you licked your lips, opened your mouth, and spit on his cock.

“Fuck.”

You pumped him a couple of times before you opened wide and took him as deep as you could, relishing the feel of his wide, smooth, hard unit in your mouth.  You pulled off of him with a pop.

“Damn I missed this dick.” 

Then you deep throated him again, making Bucky have to hold on to the side of the pool table as he held your head while you spluttered around him.

“And I missed your pretty little mouth, Doll. Damn.”  He watched as you did it a few more times.

When you looked up and  he saw your ruined face, Bucky went feral.

He pulled you up by your shirt, pulling it over your head and wiping your face with it.  Then he kissed you.

“Fucking love how you do that, Doll.”  

He started kissing down your chest, pulling your breasts out of your bra, pinching and rolling your nipples gently, a little more carefully than usual. He looked at you knowingly as you squirmed in pleasure.

“I’ve been doing my research.”  

Then, he leaned down and suckled them with that mouth until you almost came, writhing in his arms. Bucky unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down, kneeling, and staring up at you as you leaned against the green felt table.

You stepped out of your jeans and panties and watched as his flesh hand glided from your ankle to your ass, palming it and then sliding back down as he lifted your thigh on his shoulder.  You shuddered as you could feel his breath on your cunt.

“I’ve been dreaming of this.”  

His eyes held yours as he leaned in for a kiss, then a long wet lick of your cunt.  You grabbed his brown hair as his blue eyes hypnotized you and as he ate you out. When his metal fingers came up, whirring, you started begging.

“Please, James…please…please…..”

He laughed, mouth still fucking your pussy. He pulled away, chin glistening with your juices. His fingers began pumping inside you, the vibration driving you up the wall.

“Are you begging me to stop, or to continue, Doll? Talk to me.”

“Unnnh, unnnnh, oooohhh shittttt. Don’t ever stop.” 

And then you came all over his face,  Bucky slurping it up happily.  He stood up, taking you with him and maneuvering you so that you could feel his thick tip at your hole before it breached you. 

Bucky’s cock stretched you out and made you see stars as you slid down his thick pole while he was standing up, pumping inside you as he deposited you on the table.

You wrapped around him like a vine as he held you, cock pounding from the feeling of being inside you again. He pulled back to kiss you again.  He was grunting in his throat as he tried to speak.

“Fuck you feel so good...Fair warning, Doll. I’m not going to last. Been too long.”

You let go of him, and leaned back on the felt, arms braced behind you as you replied, “Just fuck me James.”

Bucky took in your body, from where you were connected up your torso to your breasts and the beautiful fucked out look on your face and started moving.

“Fuck, fuck, fuckkk.”  You took him, looking down to see the impossible stretch.

“Yeah, look at that. Looks and feels so damn good, doesn’t it, Doll? How the fuck are you so… so… fucking… tight….?”

“Yes, fuck, James, FUCKKKKK.”

All nerves were in your cunt as you went down to your elbows, and then to your back flat on the slate table, pool balls going everywhere.

Bucky pulled your hips off the table and really started digging in, hips snapping at a frenzied pace as his metal hand slid down your body. You could tell that he was almost there.

“Cum with me Doll.” 

When that metal thumb touched your clit, it was over.  You came as soon as you felt his white hot ropes of cum drench your walls. You closed your eyes for just a second, and then opened your eyes wide.

‘Why am I curled up on a pool table after being fucked by my 106 year old fiance? What is life?”

Bucky laughed as he pulled his shirt over his head and helped you off the table. He looked around, going to get you a bottle of water from the vending machine.

“You good?” 

Bucky eyed you as you got your clothes together.  He leaned next to you as he watched you drink the water.

“Baby okay?”

You ducked your head, smiled and grabbed his hand, putting it on your slightly rounded stomach.

“Yeah. I can feel him moving around.  Can you feel that?”  

Bucky just stared at his hand, then at your face.

“Not really… Him?”  He was astounded.

“That’s normal. I’m gonna be able to feel him before you can, And yeah, Him.”  

You turned more fully toward Bucky and he took you in his arms.  

“I had all kinds of tests, to make sure that he was okay.  I wanted to know if… if what they did to me would affect…. “ 

You shook your head, then smiled up at Bucky.

“He’s healthy.  I’m 20 weeks. I figured we’d call him Jamie?”  

Bucky beamed at you and nodded. 

“How did you know?”

“Well, I figured out that you didn’t faint at the wedding just because of Steve. Why didn’t you tell me, Doll?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Are you really asking me that question?”  

Bucky blanched and you decided not to be salty. 

“Well, At first, I didn’t want you to feel trapped. I was so happy that you asked me and didn’t know.”  You beamed at him. “ But then…” Your smile faded.

“I’m an idiot, Doll. Forgive me.  It’s me and you. And Jamie. Forever.”  

You two shared the kiss you missed at the altar. It was going to be okay.

“Now, let’s go get some food. I know you’re hungry.”

You laughed as you punched his arm. 

“Ass. But you’re right.” 

You two walked down the street to Ninfa’s Restaurant hand in hand. Bucky turned his head and gave an imperceptible nod as you two passed by an alley/

Steve returned the greeting as he stepped out and watched you and Bucky make your way down the street.

“That’s okay Sweetheart,” he whispered. “Buck’s a good man. But I know you’ll choose me. In another time.”

He walked to the quinjet, which was pointed toward New York.

-------

Did Reader make the right choice? What do you think about the surprise?And what the what is Steve thinking? Let me know if you liked it by commenting or reblogging!

Tagging:

@olyvoyl @summerofsnowflakes @sillyteecup @riiyy @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @theselilwonders @lonelydance @chattykathysquietsister @anh1020 @nissameta1782 @afriendlyblackhottie @betterkeepmewetterthanabayou @jbrizzywrites @stilltoyou  @donutloverxo @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @kiwisa @food8me @aiikaa @marvelfansworld  @london-grunge @pheebsyells @thesecretlifeofdaydreams-bl-blog @douxtille @ximaginexx @fofisstilinski @bertieandberries @ladystrawberry @bit-of-a-timelord @chesca-791 @calimoi @fangirlfree @bbaengtan @karolsboo @aliceforbes @insertpithyusername @sickknik @photmath @whorekneebrain  @anacrcarvalho @iconicshit @spicybibimbap @fineanddandy @olyvoyl @chaoticsteverogers@txtsfromyourex @sadthotsonlylove @ikatieebabyy@nerdymugsharkempath @maroonsunrise83 @curlyhairclub @spookyparadisesheep @keepingitlokiii​ @weaselbeedisneygeek @toofab4utheatrediva

[jamesbuchananxsteviegrant]

She Who Shan’t Be Named - Part 4 | Sweetheart (Steve x Reader)

Category: Smut (Mandatory) Age: 18+ Trigger Warnings: Explicit language, intercourse, suggestive language, casual sexual actions, flirting with a lot of people Ship: Steve x Reader Summary: Tony lets his life-long friend crash at the Avengers HQ while she has nowhere else to go. What could go wrong with so many attractive individuals living in the same home? Word Count: 1.4k Masterlist: LINK

(hmu if you want adding to the tag-list for this series)

---

“Knock knock.” Steve’s voice echoes in the living room where (Y/N) is alone, sat watching some show on Netflix and eating a bowl of pasta.

“Afternoon, Cap.” She greets, flashing a wink his way.

The man laughs and shakes his head.

“Afternoon, (Y/N). How’re you doing? You settling in okay?”

“As courteous as ever, Steven.” She avoids his question.

His grin remains as he approaches the couches.

“May I?” He asks, gesturing to the couch across from her.

“Are you asking me permission to sit in the living room of your own home?” Her voice is half-serious half-joking.

He laughs nonetheless and takes a seat.

“I’m trying to make you feel comfortable.” Steve offers.

“You’re Captain America, I don’t think there’s much you can do to make me feel uncomfortable.”

Another chuckle.

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“You can hold me to a lot of things.”

“What?”

“What?” She mimics, Steve smirking and shaking his head.

“What’re you watching?” He asks, trying to make conversation.

“Nothing you’d know, old man.”

Another laugh.

He relishes in it for a moment. The happiness. The genuine, relaxed atmosphere as he feels carefree and welcomed.

“Try me.”

“Big Bang Theory.”

“Hey, I know that one! Tony hates it.” Cap boasts, (Y/N) giggling herself.

“I know, that’s half the reason I love it so much.”

More laughter.

What Steve doesn’t notice is the way the woman spends more time eyeing his body up and down. The way his biceps are on full display, along with his abs, in the tight light blue t-shirt he’s wearing. The way she’s imagining what his beard feels like against her lips. And the other lips.

Sitting her pasta bowl down on the coffee table, she stands up and approaches the blond, watching his eyes lock with hers, eyebrows quirked in curiosity of her movements.

She stops directly in front of him and he’s all too curious.

“You okay?”

“When was the last time you fucked anyone, Steve?”

His eyes widen and he almost chokes on his own saliva at the question.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard, Rogers.”

She maneuvers herself so her knees are bent on either side of the man’s thighs, sitting on his lap.

His arms are almost up in surrender, not daring to touch the woman.

“Did I stutter?”

No. But he does.

“I, uh, you- what’re you doing?”

“Waiting for an answer.”

“God. Uhm, a while? Like three or four years ago.” He confesses, still looking bewildered at the woman.

“Was it good?” The woman continues, leaning forward so her chest is pressed against his, her lips by his ear. “Did you enjoy it?”

“I- what- it was alright.” Steve stumbles over his words.

“Am I making you uncomfortable, Captain?” Her voice is no louder than a whisper, her breath making goosebumps prick his skin in the room that’s almost too hot.

“Not quite the word I’d use.” He manages.

“No? What word would you use?”

He hesitates again, eyes widening even more so as she gently takes his hands in her own and rests them on her hips.

“I don’t know.” Steve whispers, locking eyes with her once she’s pulled back enough to do so.

“May I kiss you, Steven Rogers?” She asks, whilst she wants this and is confident, she doesn’t want to do anything to make the man in front of her uncomfortable.

He opens his mouth a few times before deciding on the right answer.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I’m always full of good ideas, Captain. Allow yourself to indulge in a little bit of fun every now and then.” (Y/N) whispers, leaning forwards and pressing a gentle kiss to the man’s lips, feeling him reciprocate it instantly.

His hands squeeze her hips just that bit tighter when he does, the woman internally grinning at the feeling.

She pushes the boat out and kisses him harder. Deeper. Faster. Wanting to see where his limits are.

Their breathing is heavy, Steve taking over the kiss without even realising it himself.

She slowly pulls back and loves the way he follows her, not wanting to stop.

“Look at the state of you, Stevie.”

The nickname makes a small whimper escape his mouth as he pulls back and meets her eyes once more, looking half guilty half desperate.

“I- I’m sorry, I don’t know-”

“None of that. I don’t want you to be sorry, Cap, I want to know how much you want it.” She teases, voice husky as her hands reach up to his face, stroking his beard.

The man gulps.

“I don’t think this is a good idea. Stark will-”

“This isn’t about Stark; this is about you and me, Rogers. He doesn’t need to know.”

She presses her lips to his again, grinding down on man so very subtly, but enough to feel the growing shaft in his jeans.

“Fuck,” Steve whispers between kisses, the pair pausing as they enjoy the feeling of her movements.

“Language.”

He can’t help the smile that forms at her comment. He squeezes her hips a little harder.

“Sweetheart, you’ve gotta stop. You’re gonna-”

“Gonna what, huh, Cap? Gonna make you horny? Gonna make you hard? Gonna make you fuck me?” She interrupts, actions becoming more and more needy with every word she speaks.

“Fuck, (Y/N).” He groans, head lolling back onto the sofa.

“Not an answer, Steve.”

“We really shouldn’t.”

“Fuck me, Cap.”

And that’s his limit.

He tosses the woman aside so she’s on her back on the sofa, adjusting himself so he’s hovering over her.

Her eyes glisten with anticipation as the man unbuckles his jeans before unzipping them, yanking them down enough to reach for his, now, rock-hard cock.

“Turns out that America’s Sweetheart isn’t so sweet after all.” (Y/N) teases, hoping to get him a little riled up.

“Shut up.” He manages to groan, yanking down her leggings and panties in one go. “How’re you so wet already?”

The vulgar words coming from a man like Captain America do something indescribable to her core.

“Can you blame me, Cap?”

He groans again, leaning over the woman and pumping his shaft a few times as he admires her body beneath him.

“Oh, you like that one, huh?” She teases, noticing how he reacts whenever she uses the title.

“God, will you shut up?” The man whispers, not at all harsh, rather begging.

“Or else, what, Captain?”

With that, he presses his cock to her entrance and slides in slowly. Inch by inch. And there’s a lot.

“Fuck!” Steve growls as he sheaths himself inside her.

(Y/N)’s eyes roll to the back of her head at how big he is. She genuinely hasn’t been this full in her life.

“Language.” She barely manages, but it’s quickly followed by a gasp and a moan as he pulls out and slams back into her.

She swears the man just shattered her cervix.

“Fuck, Steve!” She moans, hands wrapping around the man, nails digging into his clothed back.

“Language yourself.” He manages through clenched teeth. “God, you feel so fucking good.”

“Yeah? Is this just alright for you?” Her voice is mocking but struggling as he continues to pump in and out of her.

“You’re far more than alright, sweetheart.”

The words catch her off-guard but she pays no mind as she indulges herself in how good the man feels.

“Feels so good, Stevie.” She whimpers, Steve groaning and fucking her harder and harder, sweat forming on his face but he doesn’t care.

He’s never felt so good.

“Yeah? God, sweetheart, can feel you squeezing me.”

Filth.

“Want you to make me cum, Cap.”

Another moan from the man, cursing under his breath.

“Better yet, I want your cum in my mouth.”

“Fuck, (Y/N), you’re killin’ me.”

They’re going at it for a few moments longer before Steve is stuttering that he’s gonna cum.

Without second thought, the woman pushes herself back, dropping to her knees on the carpeted ground and opening her mouth wide, tongue sticking out.

Steve groans once again at the sight and pumps himself until he’s moaning her name and blowing his load into her mouth, (Y/N) making sure that she doesn’t miss a drop.

“Not bad for America’s Sweetheart.” She states once they both catch their breath.

Steve chuckles once again, redoing up his trousers and helping the woman up off of the floor.

“You’re gonna do things to every person in this building, you know that?” He smiles, both collapsing onto the couch and leaning on one another, eyes moving back to the TV where the next episode of her show is on.

“That’s the plan, Cap.”

Another laugh.

“We’re glad to have you, sweetheart.”

---

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[before-we-get-started]

Safe Landing

One shot that is my entry to @what-is-your-plan-today’s #CATFA 10th Anniversary Challenge

Story:  You’re facing the most difficult time of your life and you’re doing it without the person that means the most to you.  Will your seatmates on an important flight help you make it through?

Pairing:  Steve Rogers & Ransom Drysdale x Reader (plus a surprise special appearance!)

Warnings:  Bad language, light smut, angst

10,000+ words

There’s not going to be a safe landing.

It was the unknown that was the hardest.  The what if.  What if you’d taken the time to slow down?  What if you’d given more than you took?  What if you’d appreciated it, not taken it for granted, not just assumed that it would always be there?

You were alone now.  You didn’t have anyone.  It was probably what you deserved.  You’d persevere, you always had, but knowing you wouldn’t have to if you’d been better caused your heart to clench.

The longest flight of your life was coming to an end, and you considered the travelers making this journey with you by chance.  You’d all shared a row on the plane that was taking you to meet your fate.  One - cynical, crass, growing up longing to be loved, incapable of committing, but under it all, possessing a fierce loyalty for those he deemed worthy.  The other – a gentle, loving soul, committed to service with honor and willing to give all, not just for those he loved, but for the greater good.  They were complete strangers who had seeped into your soul, spirits that would forever fill you, thoughts of them making you smile.

For better or worse, they’d helped you navigate the mine field that was your future. Now you’d endure the unbearable wait, the long walk, watching others unite with loved ones, hoping that maybe, despite all odds, there would be a reunion for you too.  You hoped the soul-soothing moments you’d shared with these two travelers over the last three hours would ease you into whatever awaited you at the airport gate.

Despite everything, you wished he’d be there.  

Three hours earlier

“Thank you for flying National Airlines.”  You forced a smile at the flight attendant as you boarded the plane.  It was going to be a full flight and you were stuck in a middle seat.  Appropriate, given the mood you were in.  You waited impatiently as everyone made their way down the aisle, hoisting bags that were too large to fit in the overhead, straps smacking you as they did.  You pitied your seat mates. You were in no mood for idle conversation. Your temper was wearing thin.

Finally reaching row 12, you were thrilled that no one else had arrived. You plopped into your seat, pulled out your compact and opened it, and grimaced as you took a quick look.  There were circles under your eyes, telling everyone you’d not slept well for days.  You’d definitely lost your sparkle.  You swiped some powder over your nose and ran gloss over your lips, something to make you look less stressed.  You opened your backpack and got a whiff of your grandmother’s scent. You ran your hand over her letter, lingering.  With a sigh, you took the cell phone, headphones and book out of your bag, tucked the letter into the book and stowed the bag under the seat in front of you. You found your seat belt and clicked it, giving it a tug.  Whoever was sitting by the window would have to step around you, you weren’t getting up again.  Music on, book open, you pushed all the sad and empty thoughts aside and got lost in another world.

Within a couple of minutes, you heard shouting and pulled off your headphones. 

You looked up to see a tall man in a blue cashmere sweater and gray silk trousers with his finger in the face of an attendant.  

“Let me tell you something.  You don’t know who you’re fucking with.  Drysdales don’t fly fucking coach – ever.  I’ll sue you and I’ll own this stupid airline.”

“Mr. Drysdale, I’m sorry.  This was the seat that was chosen when the ticket was purchased,” said the flight attendant in a surprisingly calm manner.  “This is a full flight and there is no room for you to upgrade to first class.  And despite what you may think, I had absolutely nothing to do with how the ticket was booked, nor do I have any ability to change the fact that you are in seat 12D.  Now, can I help you stow your bag?  I’ll have a cocktail cart here for you soon.”

You thought he might continue the fight, but he didn’t. Instead he slammed his jacket down on the seat next to you and made a show of slinging his bag into the overhead, muttering a string of expletives the entire time.  Then he looked down at you.

“Just fucking awesome,” he said angrily, picking his jacket up and wedging into the seat.  He was tall and he worked to figure out how to fit his long legs in the legroom designated for the impoverished that were banished to coach.  He sighed in disgust, his knees against the seat tray.  

You studied him for just a second, not wanting to stare.  He had a strong profile, chiseled jawline, dark blonde hair perfectly styled.  His skin was gorgeous, with a slight hook in his nose.  You looked down and caught how his biceps were stretching the sweater a bit and his big hands with long slender fingers settled in his lap.  He smelled of expensive cologne – musky and woody, and he probably had a cigarette before he came into the airport.  He laid his head back against the seat and closed his eyes.  You took the hint and put your headphones back in, finding the folded page corner in your book.

Within a minute or so, you were aware of a buzz among the other passengers.  You paused the music and pulled out a headphone, looking around and listening.

“I’m certain that’s him,” whispered the woman behind you.  

“No way.  There’s no way Captain America is sitting in coach,” said her husband.

“Do you think he’d take a selfie with me?” said their daughter.

You couldn’t see anything down the aisle and certainly didn’t want to stretch into your neighbor’s seat space given his attitude about having to fly with the peasants.  No need to stress about it though, because the overhead light was suddenly blocked out by an incredibly wide set of shoulders.  The tall blonde man looming over top of you in the aisle took your breath away.  Ice blue eyes, those shoulders as broad as a building, a t-shirt that was screaming to break free from the massive pecs, abs and biceps it struggled to cover, and jeans that hugged his tree trunk thighs.  You weren’t sure how this guy made it through the door of the plane, let alone how he was going to fit into a seat.  

“I’m sorry,” he said to Mr. Attitude next to you.  “I’m the window.”

“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” said Mr. Drysdale.

The blonde adonis just smiled and apologized again.  “Sorry, I should’ve already been seated, I got held up in security.”

The crab apple next to you rose and stepped out into the aisle. They were both the same height, and you took a long look, your breath catching in your throat.  There was a lot of handsome man standing in the aisle, and they were getting ready to make a hottie sandwich out of you.  You quickly unsnapped your seatbelt and stood so the blonde god could get past.

“Hi,” he said, a smile that revealed his pearly whites taking your breath away again.  “I’m so sorry, promise you won’t have to get up again.”

“No worries,” you barely squeaked out as that incredible ass in those tight jeans brushed past and slipped into the window seat.  You sat down, your arms at your sides, absolutely no room on the armrests for you with all of this man surrounding you.  Holy shit.

You looked to your left and the blonde extended a hand. “Steve Rogers,” he said, that million watt smile on again.  

“I’m Y/N,” you said, feeling the warmth and strength of his hand. How in the hell had you ended up on a flight next to Captain America?  You didn’t think anything could change your mood, but maybe you were wrong.

He extended his hand across you to the aisle seat occupant.  “Steve Rogers,” he said in his sexy baritone. Mr. Drysdale raised an eyebrow in annoyance and hesitated, then quickly shook his hand.  “Ransom Drysdale.  And I shouldn’t be sitting in this seat,” he said sourly.

Steve raised an eyebrow at you and grinned, unsure what to think about your seatmate.  You shrugged and smiled.

“We’ve been cleared for takeoff. Be sure your seatbelts are fastened, all items are stowed and tray tables are up.  We’ll be taxiing out to the runway in a few minutes.” The flight attendant walked up the aisle, making sure all the overhead compartments were secure.

You were glad you had pulled what you needed from your bag when you sat, because it would take a can opener to pry you out of your seat at this point.  You opened the book again and tried to concentrate on the words.  Captain Rogers was settling into his seat, turning off his cell phone and trying to pull the seatbelt around his waist.  With some effort, you finally heard it click.

“These seats are incredibly tight.  I’ve never flown coach before.  It’s crazy how little room there is.”

“Tell me about it,” said Ransom, rolling his eyes.  “When I get home, I’m firing my assistant over this reservation and making sure no one else will ever hire her,” he snarled.

You tried looking back and forth during the conversation, enjoying the view, but even that movement was difficult.

“So I thought Avengers traveled by quinjet,” you said to the captain.

He smiled at you.  “We normally do, but I had to get out of town quickly and there wasn’t one available. My wife is having early labor pains and I need to get to her as soon as I can.”  There was worry in his blue eyes.

“Oh, I love your wife,” you said.  “She’s amazing.  She has raised so much money with her foundation, done so much for so many. She’s an inspiration, and a badass,” you added.

He chuckled.  “Well, her badass days are behind her.  Being a mom kind of makes that difficult.”

You smiled at him and shook your head.  You were conversing with Captain America about his family.  Had this day taken a turn or what?

“I can’t believe they couldn’t find you a private plane or something,” said Ransom.  “I would’ve bitched to the airline if I were you.”

“It’s hard to find air transportation right now with all the events happening here and the weather cancelling flights.  I’m just grateful that I got what I got.  The doctors gave her something to slow her labor so I should get there in plenty of time,” said Steve.

“It’s your second, right?” you said.

“Yes, we have a son.”

“Do you know what you’re having?” you asked.

He smiled broadly, all the way to his eyes.  “It’s a girl,” he said, and you thought about what a lucky little girl she was to have a daddy so thrilled to be having her.  It wasn’t that way for everyone.

The plane jerked a bit as it began backing away from the gate.  You laid your head back against the seat, fighting the anxiety that was suddenly overtaking you.  You’d only flown a once before and you’d found taking off and landing nearly more than you could take.  On that flight, he was with you, his hand over yours, whispering in your ear that it would be ok and “I’ve got you, baby girl.”  You closed your eyes and smiled at the memory, imaging him next to you.  Then just as suddenly, the memory of him pressing you against the wall, kissing you with abandon flooded your brain and your eyes flew wide open, your body jerking a bit.

“You ok?” Steve asked.

You could feel the heat rise in your neck.  “Yes,” you said shyly.  “Just not a fan of takeoffs.”

“Flying is the safest form of transportation,” said Ransom matter-of-factly.  “You’ll be fine.”

You looked over at him, that chiseled profile staring straight ahead, a scowl on his face.  He’d better watch out or he’d freeze that way.  You grinned at the memory of your grandmother telling you that every time you rolled your eyes.

Steve reached over the armrest and took your hand, covering it with his.  “Flying isn’t my favorite thing either,” he said with a smile and you wrapped your fingers around his thumb.

The flight attendant announced that the cabin was secure and takeoff could commence and the plane slowed, stopping to let another plane pass. The engine whirred and the plane jerked forward, gaining speed, the noise louder and louder.  You squeezed Steve’s thumb a little harder and he returned the squeeze, holding your hand tightly in his big warm one.  The plane began to lift, knocking you back slightly and you went with gravity, straightening your back and laying against the seat, eyes closed, working on breathing normally.  It was unnerving feeling your body lifting from the seat a little.  The loss of control made your heart race, but gently, as the plane rose and then leveled off, your body was once again calm.

You looked over at Steve and he gave you a reassuring smile. “Thanks,” you said softly.  You let go of his thumb.

“No problem,” he said softly, pulling his hand away.  

“My boyfriend normally does that for me,” you said.  And, you were sad again.

“Is that where you’re traveling, to see him?” Steve asked.

You chewed on your bottom lip, looking down at your lap.  “No, my grandmother passed away and I’m going to sort out her home and belongings,” you sighed.  “He won’t be there.  He’s done with me.”  

“What does that mean?” asked Ransom.

You sighed.  “It’s kind of a long story.”

“Well, we’ve got three hours to kill,” Steve said with a smile.

“Jesus Christ,” muttered Ransom, pulling out the airline magazine in an attempt to disappear.

Steve nudged your elbow and smiled.  “Tell me about him.”

You smiled.  “I’ve known him since second grade,” you smiled.  “We started dating in seventh grade.  He’s the only guy I’ve ever been with.”

Ransom let out a disgusted laugh next to you.  You looked over at him.  “Not a romantic, Ransom?”

“Uh, no,” he sputtered.  “Hell no.  Seriously, how old are you?”

You told him your age.

“Jesus, and you’ve only ever been with one guy?  That’s ridiculous.”

You felt Steve’s hand pat your arm.  You looked at him and he rolled his eyes, looking at Ransom.  “I think it’s great you’re with your school sweetheart,” he said.  “You must have some pretty strong feelings for him if you’ve been that loyal to him.”

“I do,” you sighed sadly.  “I thought he was my forever.”

“How can you possibly know that?” said Ransom.  “He’s the only guy you’ve ever been with.”

“I just know,” you said.  “We have a history.’

“Tell me more,” said Steve.

“Well…”

“Where is she?”

“She’s up front, sitting on the pew.”

“What’s going to happen?”

“I heard she’ll go with her grandmother.”

The chatter continued at the back of the church just after the funeral had ended. Sitting all alone in the front was an 8-year-old girl in tights, a black velvet dress, black patent shoes and a bow in her hair.  A large spray of pink tulips flowed over the edge of the oak casket in front of her.  

While the adults gossiped, an 8-year-old boy in a suit and tie emerged from the back and walked up the aisle.  He stood at the edge of the first pew, then sat at the end and slid down until he was next to the girl.  He took her hand in his and when she looked at him, he gave a gap-toothed smile. “It’s ok Y/N.  I’ll take care of you.”  The little girl smiled back.

 “My grandmother passed away last month,” you told Steve.

His blue eyes showed concern.  “I’m so sorry.”  He patted your arm.

Ransom let out a sarcastic chuckle.  For someone who didn’t want to talk, he was finding his way into your conversation.  You turned your face to him, unsure what type of asshole laughs at someone’s death.

He looked at you and immediately his face was serious.  “I’m sorry too,” he said.  “I was laughing because my grandmother was the only person on the planet that ever gave a shit about me.  She was the most amazing person I ever knew.”

You couldn’t help but feel for him, despite his incredibly rough edges.

“Well, my grandmother was really amazing too,” you said.  “She got stuck with me when I was little and she did a great job raising me.”

You’d moved in with her at an incredibly difficult time.  Your grandfather had passed less than a year before, and then your mother, her only child.  Taking you in was never in doubt, she would do so gladly, but it was a challenge that she struggled with many times.

Enter him.  He was only a child, but he had, as they say, “an old soul.”  He became your constant companion and a fixture in your grandmother’s home.  You could feel her tension ease when he arrived.  For a little while, she didn’t have to worry if she was making the right decisions for you, bridging the generation gap.  When the two of you were together, you were in sync and well behaved.

You told them how, from the time you moved in with your grandmother, he became your protector.  He walked you to and from school every day, carrying your lunchbox so you could pick flowers along the way.  At recess, he ran to the teeter totter to save it until you got there, and when you climbed on a swing, he pushed you so high you felt like you were flying.

You played baseball with boys until sixth grade and he was always on your team.  When you made the cheerleading squad, he helped you learn all the cheers and during the game, you’d see him on the sidelines with the team, miming your cheers from memory.  

His family was difficult.  His father drove a truck all over the country and was gone for long periods of time.  His mother liked to drink, a little too much, and wasn’t always kind to her children. Despite her treatment, her neglect of her children, he had grown up well-mannered and respectful.  You liked to think your grandmother had a lot to do with that.

“I lost my Ma when I was in my teens,” said Steve.  You knew his story, and that he would have lost her decades ago, but losing your mother was still hard.

Ransom scoffed.  “I should be so lucky,” he said under his breath.

You looked at him.  “Did you just wish your mother dead?” you said sternly.

He looked at you.  “Trust me, the world would be a much better place,” he muttered.

You glared at him for a minute, then turned your attention back to Steve.

“My mom was wonderful,” you said, the memory of her flooding your mind. “She was that mom – the one that did all the fun stuff.  She was creative and an incredible cook and her house was open to everyone.  She was just, she was the best,” you said, tears creeping into your voice.  You felt Steve’s arm push into yours just a bit, the contact easing your sadness.

“My mother is a spoiled rotten bully.  All she cares about is spending money and making people think she’s better than everyone,” Ransom spat out.  “I honestly don’t know why she even had me – actually, I do.  She wouldn’t be nearly as happy if she didn’t have the opportunity to tell me what a disappointment I am every occasion she gets.”

“She sounds like a character out of a movie,” you said.

He looked at you.  “Absolutely fucking no one would watch that movie,” he said deadpan.

Steve cleared his throat.  “So, when did you and your boyfriend get serious?”

“I think we just always knew we’d be together,” you said.  “We were inseparable and we loved each other from that moment in the church.  No one ever invited just one of us to something, it was always both of us.”

“That’s special,” said Steve.  “Some people never find their soulmate.  I was so lucky to find mine when I did.  She helped me discover the world when I came out of the ice.  She’s truly the better half of me.”

You couldn’t help but poke the bear a little.  “Ransom, you’ve never been in love?  Ever?”

He looked at you and rolled his eyes.  “Nope,” he said, popping the P.  “Love is for fools.  Life is too short to be with one person.  There’s a buffet of beauty out there and I’m happy to be the first in line.”

You looked at Steve, who was suppressing a little smile.  “You just haven’t found the right person,” he said, also poking the bear a bit.

“There is no ‘right person’ for me, of that I am sure,” he spat. “I’m fine taking care of me. Don’t need to worry about anyone else expecting something from me I can’t give them.”  He was back to looking at his magazine, acting disinterested. “Besides, anyone that claims to ‘love’ me is lying – they’re really only in love with my money.”

“Aw, Ransom,” you said with a grin, “are you saying you’re not lovable?”

“Wouldn’t you like to find out,” he said in a deep, flirty voice, and for the first time, he smiled.

You could hear Steve chuckling softly next to you.

“Y/N, he’s here!”  You could hear your grandmother’s voice from the bottom of the stairs.  You looked in the full length floor mirror one more time. She’d spent hours making your prom dress, just like you’d asked.  It was a beautiful coral color, strapless with a beaded bodice and lace around the top and bottom.  It flared as it reached the floor, and you poked your pink-painted toes in strappy gold heels out from under it.  Around your neck were the pearls your mother had gotten from your great-grandparents for her high school graduation.  Your hair was half up with braids on either side joined in the back with a ribbon clip, the rest down in waves on your shoulders.  

Waiting for you was the guy you wanted to spend your life with.  Every moment with him was special.  Your love for him had blossomed and thinking of a future with him filled your heart.  Tonight, you were sure the two of you would come together in a way you never had. You were ready, past ready, and you knew he was too.  What you felt for him was so deep, you wanted to give him all of you, and you knew he’d take you, just as you are, and cherish you.

As you descended the stairs, he looked up at you and you thought, this must be how the bride feels when her groom sees her for the first time.  He consumed you with his eyes, taking you in from head to toe. With three steps to go, he stepped forward and reached for your hand.  He was so warm and he pulled you to him, a hug and sweet kiss to your glossed lips.  His smile was contagious.  

“You’re my dream,” he said, placing a corsage around your wrist, a pink tulip (your very favorite) in the center.  “Let’s go so I can show you off.”

When you walked into the gymnasium, you saw the looks you got.  Girls were wearing expensive dresses from the best designers, hair and makeup done professionally.  You knew your dress wasn’t as nice and that you stood out in comparison.  But he made you feel as if you were more.  He danced with you all night, making sure to stand in the center of the dance floor so everyone could see you.  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered in your ear. “You’re exquisite.”  As you both worked the room, talking to friends, he would start the conversation with “how did I get so lucky?” or “look at my beautiful girl.”  You were so happy to be on his arm, by his side.

The evening flew by, the last song played by the DJ, and kids started filing out of the gym. You were sad to leave but your entire body was tingling with anticipation.  He opened the door to his dad’s car for you and as you drove away, you wondered if he was as excited as you.  You weren’t nervous, just anxious.

He drove you down the long road to the lake you’d been visiting since you were kids. He parked the car in a grove of trees, shielded by overgrown bushes.  When he looked at you, it felt like he looked deep inside you.  

He pressed a kiss to your lips, his fingers under your chin, lifting your mouth to his. You let out a little noise, deepening the kiss.  He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes closed, savoring your touch.

“Are you ready for this?” he whispered.  It sent chills all over you.

“Yes,” you breathed, kissing him again.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said reassuringly, but you were already pulling off the tie to his tux, unbuttoning the buttons at his throat and down his chest, your fingers brushing his pecs as you went.  He gently pulled the dress down your arms, exposing your bare breasts.  You’d seen him so many times but tonight, you wanted to devour his toned, muscled body, his tanned skin, the prize for hard work at his uncle’s farm.  You wanted to worship him the way he’d always worshiped you. You kissed his soft lips, pressing your breasts to his chest.  

He took a shuddering breath, moving down to kiss and nip along your collarbone to your neck as you pulled the shirt from his body.  You laid your head back, exposing your throat, allowing him to kiss along the shaft to your chest, down your sternum.  You looked in his eyes as he gently touched your breast with his hand, then dipped his head down to gently take a pebbled nipple into his mouth. He was so warm and gentle, you thought you might explode right then.  You lifted yourself to pull the dress off, leaving you in your lace panties and your gold high heels.  He leaned back to take a look at you, then dove in again to your breasts, giving each of them attention.  

Slowly his hands made their way down your belly to the edge of your panties.  He gently laid you back on the seat and you lifted your legs, reaching to undo his belt and pants.  He toed off his shoes and socks, then managed to pull his pants and boxers off under the steering wheel.  He pulled the condom from his wallet and stretched it over his hard, weeping cock.  With a look that made you shiver, he crawled over you, his arms caging you on either side of your head.  It was a tight squeeze but it worked.  As he began kissing you, you lifted your hips, touching him.  He was ready for you and you for him.  He lined himself up with you and very slowly entered you. You winced and his hands went to your hair, kissing your forehead, your nose.  

“You ok?” he asked softly.

“Mm hmm,” you hummed, pulling at his hips, feeling him go deeper inside you.  His lips found yours as he found a gentle rhythm. He took you in, his eyes roaming your face, that smile that melted your heart.  You laid your head back and he assaulted your neck with kisses as his rhythm picked up.  

No matter what you had imagined, nothing would feel like this.  He fit you perfectly.  Your heart swelled and you let out a little sob of happiness as his rhythm grew faster.

“I love you Y/N,” he said in your ear.  “Always.”

“I love you too,” you managed, followed by a moan from deep in your throat that made him growl in approval.  

He quickened his pace and you lifted to him even more, feeling the coil in your lower belly tightening.

“I’m – oh, I’m so…”

“It’s ok baby, I’ve got you.”

His voice was so soft and husky in your ear, you let go, a sound you couldn’t describe escaping as you reached your climax.  You ran your fingernails down his muscular back, then settled in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

“God Y/N, fuck, you feel so good, you’re so good for me.”  His movements began to stutter as he found his release and you held him tightly to you as he finished, his head falling to your shoulder.  You both lay there in the dark, panting, your bodies on fire.  

“You’re amazing,” you said in a soft voice, your fingers running down his back.

He lifted slowly, propping his head in his hand.  He trailed his fingers down your chest to your breasts.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” he grinned.

“It was so good!” you said.  You nuzzled his neck, kissing him softly there.  “I want more,” you breathed into his ear.

He laughed and kissed you. You both cleaned up a bit and you started all over again, this time straddling him on the seat.  He let you lead this time and you explored his hard, fit body, covering his face and chest in kisses.  When you lowered yourself onto him, your palms were flat against his chest as you mewled your release, and you held him through his.  It was incredible.  When he walked you to your door early that morning, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him as if it would be the last time you’d have the chance.  You could tell you took his breath away as he came up for air.

“I love you,” you said, looking into his eyes and never meaning anything more in your life.

He smiled and pulled you to him.  “I love you too,” he whispered in your ear.

As he drove away, your mind was filled with your future, the two of you living a life full of nights like tonight.  As you drifted off to sleep, you could still feel his skin on yours.

 You shared, but not quite all of it, with your seatmates.  

“So if he’s so amazing, why won’t he be there when you arrive?” Ransom asked.

You knew hurt crossed your face, it was impossible to hide.  “Our lives, they just went different directions. I never thought they would, but they did.  And then –“ You let out a shaky sigh.  “Then he didn’t need me anymore.”  Your voice trailed off.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” said Steve, sounding like a father.  “It’s ok.”

“Maybe you should,” said Ransom, “get it all out so that if you’re disappointed when we land, it’s not so bad.”

You rested back against your seat and played it in your mind again. You told them a little about after high school and where you both ended up.

“It was my fault.  I gave up on us.  I pushed him away.  He wasn’t my priority.  For all I know, it didn’t even hurt him.  I’m sure it was much easier with me out of the way.”

“That’s a lot of conjecture,” said Ransom.  “Sounds like you had your reasons.”

“I guess he couldn’t really help being away from you,” said Steve sympathetically.  “I can tell you from experience there’s nothing worse than being separated from the one you love most.”

Ransom rolled his eyes.  “We all make choices,” he said sarcastically.

Steve sighed.  “I don’t regret any I’ve made,” he said sternly.

“Then be prepared to deal with the consequences.”  He looked at you.  “If your boyfriend really loved you, he wouldn’t have taken a job shrouded in so much mystery.  He would’ve been available to you.  Maybe him taking the job was just the coward’s way of saying he wanted to explore other options.”

“Or maybe he felt it was what he needed to do to take the best care of her,” said Steve.  You heard what you bet was probably his captain’s voice.

Ransom looked him dead in the eye.  “Look Captain Self Righteous, if love is that important to you, there’s nothing that says you’ve had to take the chances you’ve taken.  You didn’t have to become a super soldier either. Choices.  If Y/N’s boyfriend had made her a priority, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Steve gave an exasperated sigh and shook his head.

“I honestly don’t blame him for moving on, I just wish he’d tried harder to tell me we were through.  That’s all.” Tired of talking, you opened your book, put on your headphones and tried to get lost in the story.

 “Y/N, can you hear me?”

“Yes, barely,” you answered.  The connection was bad.  Who knew where he was calling from, or what kind of signal he had.  

“Don’t hang up,” he said hopefully.

“I won’t.”

It was the next natural step for you to go to college, but he needed something else. He was adventurous, energetic, crazy almost, and he needed something else.  So he’d joined the Army as you went away to school.  You were scared to be separated but he’d assured you the bond you had couldn’t be broken.  He got to explore the world, facing difficult situations and enjoying the adrenaline rush. You couldn’t help but worry but he told you not to, he was in his element.  And despite the distance, you’d made up for the time with letters, texts, phone calls, photos and even intimacy via cell phone.  Your senior year of college began the same time as the last year of his enlistment.  About halfway through the year, you sensed something had changed.  He was disillusioned with his superiors and had fallen in with a group of soldiers that were fed up.  

Each time he’d visit somewhere new, he’d send you a memento.  “Wish you were here with me.  This would be so much better with you.  Someday, I’m taking you all over the world.  I can’t wait until we’re together.”  You dreamed of it too, if you could just find the path to come back together.

Soon, many of those calls, texts and letters seemed to be from someone you didn’t know. And as he was moving forward and finding his path, you were finding yours.  You’d taken a job in Chicago, hundreds of miles from him and your grandmother.  It was your dream job, and you’d always imagined life in the city.  Some of your friends were headed that way and you talked of sharing an apartment and all the fun you’d have.  For the first time, you questioned whether he’d be a part of it.

Once graduation was over, you’d said goodbye to your grandmother and the small town where you’d grown up and headed off for your next adventure.  And he had begun his.  He left the service and took a job with the chance to make a lot of money so that the two of you could pick where you wanted to be and settle down, build your dream house and fill it with kids, just like you’d always hoped.  He just needed you to be patient with him.  

The job was tough.  He traveled for weeks without communicating and you found yourself living as if he wasn’t there anymore.  When you did speak, for the first time in your lives, it would end in a fight.  

“I’m doing my best here,” he’d say.  You could hear the stress in his voice.  “This isn’t forever.  I’m going to get to a place where we can be together and our lives will be just like we imagined.”

“How can you be so sure?” you asked, the words stinging as you said them.  “How can you be sure we should even still be together? We’re both so different.”

“We’re not, Y/N.  You’re still what I want.  We just have to hold on for a little while longer.”

 “Sounds like his job was pretty intense,” said Steve, his face looking serious.

“It was.  And very secret. He couldn’t tell me much.  I’m sure you know about that.”

“I do,” he said.  “It’s not easy to not be able to share everything with the one person you trust the most.  But sometimes it’s for your own protection.”

“I know,” you said.  “And I’m proud of him.  He didn’t always have it so easy,” she said, glancing at Ransom, “but he worked hard, and he was doing it for me.”

Ransom raised an eyebrow at you.  “I see.  I was handed everything and you think I’ve never done an honest day’s work in my life.”

You looked at his velvety smooth, sexy hands.  “Have you?”

He blinked.  “Probably not the way you think, but I’m not totally useless.  And you don’t have to risk your life every time you go to work to be successful,” he said, shooting Steve a look.

Steve grinned.  “Trust me, it’s not exactly what I would’ve chosen for myself.  It’s a situation that found me and I’ve worked hard to accept it.”

“Yes, must be brutal to be built like that.  Do you carry a club to beat the women away?  Or do you just ask them nicely to stop climbing you,” Ransom said with a sardonic smile.

You cleared your throat.  “Anyway, I could just feel things changing between us and I felt really lost, but also kind of empowered.  I’d moved away from home, stepped away from him and I was a success. And if I’m honest,” she said, eyeing Ransom, “I wondered what it might be like to date someone else.”

He let out a sarcastic laugh.

“And then everything changed…”

 A few weeks later, you’d received a text in the middle of the night.  “Meet me at the wheel at Navy Pier on the 25th at midnight.  There’s something I need to tell you.”

You’d scoffed at the invitation.  “If you’re coming to Chicago, come stay with me.  Why are we meeting at midnight?”

“It’s just the way we need to do it, for now.  Promise me you’ll be there.”

As the day approached, you found yourself immersed in work and trying to finish a project with an approaching deadline.  You didn’t understand why, after not seeing each other for so long, he wouldn’t just come to your place, let you make him dinner, spend the night with you.  Why must it be so clandestine?

You texted him – “You need to come to me.  I have a lot of work and I’m on a deadline.  If you love me, you’ll come stay with me so we can catch up properly.”

You didn’t hear back from him and on the evening he’d asked to meet you, you’d fallen asleep at your desk at home while working to finish your assignment.  

“Y/N, are you coming?”  “Where are you?”  “Please, I need to see you.”  He kept texting but the late hours you’d been keeping had you in a deep sleep.  

When your alarm went off for work, you shuffled into the shower, the hot water serving as a wake-up call.  Suddenly your eyes flew open – you’d slept through midnight!  You jumped from the shower, shampoo still in your hair, and grabbed for your phone.  It was dead. You plugged it in, finished bathing and scampered back to your nightstand for the phone.  

You read his texts and tears flooded your eyes.  He’d come all the way to Chicago and you missed him.  You called, then sent a flurry of texts but there was no response.  

He’d wanted to tell you something urgently and you’d totally blown him off.  How did you get here?  This was the love of your life.  You should’ve been there with open arms.  How long had it been since you’d held him, kissed him?  You suddenly felt as if you’d been punched in the gut.  You tried to catch your breath, frantically calling him again and again but no answer.

You began a series of texts explaining that you’d gotten caught up in work, and even though it wasn’t more important than he was, you’d fallen asleep and lost track of time.  Could you please meet him somewhere else?  You’d come to him, wherever he was.  You wouldn’t tell anyone where you were going, you just needed to see him. Despite pouring your heart out to him, there was no response.

Until one night, when you’d phoned him for the millionth time, and someone answered. “Hello?” said a sultry female voice.  Thinking you had the wrong number, you were about to speak when you heard his voice in the background.  She said his name and you heard his husky baritone, a laugh in his voice.  You quickly ended the call.

This was what he wanted to tell you – he’d found someone else.  No wonder he never called back, never returned your texts. It was over and you’d made it easy for him.

Despite the cramped quarters, both of your seatmates managed to doze off during the flight.  Steve had crammed his jacket between his head and the wall of the plane and was softly snoring.  Ransom, with no respect for body space, had allowed his head to dip over onto your shoulder.  You didn’t mind, you were glad he could rest.  You couldn’t help but feel for him.  It would be awful to have so much money, but be completely without anyone to love you, even your family.  He smelled good and you settled down into your seat, staying as still as you could.

The time was counting down until you arrived at your destination and you hadn’t read the letter.  You just didn’t think you could take it.  Hearing your grandmother’s final thoughts when she knew her life was ending (but no one else did) was almost too much.  Her last wishes were important, it was your responsibility to see them through.  With each of your seatmates comfortably resting, you slowly opened the envelope.  Your grandmother’s scent hit you immediately, and you felt tears burn at your eyes.

You unfolded the delicate stationery.  It was powder blue with a scalloped edge.  You’d bought if for her for Mother’s Day a few years back.  She loved writing letters and leaving you notes, and the delicate femininity of the paper fit her perfectly.

“My Sweet Y/N,

As you read this, please know that I’m so sorry that I’ve left you.  Raising you was my greatest accomplishment.  I made mistakes with your mother, so I worked hard to be patient with you, and really listen.  I cherish what we had and want you to know how proud I am of you, the wonderful young woman you’ve become.”

You wiped the tear that had begun to roll down your cheek and sniffed softly.  It was harder than you’d even imagined.

“I’m sorry I didn’t share my diagnosis with you until the end, but I wanted you to continue to move forward.  I knew that if I told you, you’d insist on being with me.  I didn’t want you sitting by my bed while I slept when you could be enjoying your life.  You gave me your very best, I owed it to you to let you go and find your future.”

You thought of all the times you’d meant to pick up the phone and call her, but something else had come up and you’d simply pushed her to the back of your mind.  The thought of it made you wince.  How hard would it have been to just call and say hello?   Had she not earned that from you?

“I’m not leaving much behind.  The house is yours to do with as you please.  I know it’s old and not what you might want, but I can’t help but think, knowing how good you are with decorating, that you could make it a home you’d love and enjoy.  However, if you choose to sell it, please know I’m fine with that decision as well. Don’t feel guilty.  Your future is where you make it.”

The house was certainly old and dated, not what you had in mind.  Not to mention you never planned to return to your old hometown.  You didn’t know what you’d do there if you did.  And now, there was even less reason to return.

“My biggest regret is not seeing your face when he proposed to you.  I can only imagine how it felt when he put your mother’s ring on your finger and asked you to be his wife.  That giant Ferris wheel at Navy Point was a perfect backdrop.

When he came to pick it up, he said he’d always dreamed of settling in this little house, but he knew Chicago was your home now, so he wanted to ask you in the place that was important to you.  I will rest peacefully knowing that you have someone so special to take care of you.”

You froze, then let out a strangled cry.  Steve jerked awake, his hand flying to your shoulder.

“Y/N, what is it?  Are you ok?”

Finally, you let go.  There was no holding back.  You put your face in your hands, sobs shaking your shoulders.

“Jesus, what did you do?” Ransom asked Steve as he touched your other shoulder, bending down to look at you.

“Nothing!  I woke up and she was crying.”

How could you have not seen this? Why did you doubt him?  It suddenly washed over you how he must’ve felt, standing there in the dark, alone, waiting for you, to ask you the biggest question of your lives.  

Your sobs increased, though you were trying to stifle the noise, considering you were on a full airplane with two beefcakes on either side of you worried.

“Y/N,” Ransom said, his lips close to your ear.  He put his hand on your back and rubbed gentle circles. “Talk to us.  What happened?”

You slowly sat up, Steve taking your hand in his.

“Oh my God, you guys, I blew it.  I totally blew it.  I broke his heart.  I can’t believe I did this to him.”

The two men looked at each other, question on their faces.

“Did what?” Ransom said softly.

You held up the letter.  “This is from my grandmother.  I’ve put off reading it because I was so sad to know it was the last communication I’d have with her.  He was coming to propose to me.  At Navy Pier. He picked up my mother’s ring from my grandmother,” you said softly.  Saying it out loud made it even worse. You couldn’t stop the flow of tears that fell from your eyes.

“Oh man,” Ransom said quietly, rubbing your back even more.

“Y/N, are you sure?” said Steve.

“Yes,” you sobbed, handing him the letter.  Ransom put his hand on your side and pulled you toward him, cradling you against his chest.

“It’s going to be ok,” he soothed.  “You didn’t know.  He should’ve told you he wanted to ASK you something instead of TELL you something.”

You blinked and sat up, looking at him.  “I mean, I don’t know if it would have mattered.”

“Of course it would’ve,” he said.  “This isn’t on you, it’s on him.  He should’ve been adamant that he wanted to ask you something.”

Steve handed you the letter back.  You could see the sadness on his face.  “I’m sure he was upset,” he said softly.  “He’d probably been waiting until the right moment.”

You scrunched up your face, fresh tears flowing.

“Jesus,” Ransom whispered to Steve, “you could at least be supportive.”

You wiped your finger under your eye to catch a tear before it dropped on the letter.  Your heart was racing and you couldn’t catch your breath.  You felt as if your stomach had dropped to your feet.  It was a desperate feeling, knowing what you knew and not being able to reach out to him and tell him how badly you’d screwed up.  

“You ok?” Steve asked softly.

“Yeah,” you said.  “And here I thought when I sat down in this seat I couldn’t feel worse.”

Steve laid his hand on your arm, squeezing a little.  “If everything you said about the two of you is true, this is something you can overcome.  It was a misunderstanding.  If those feelings are there, you’ll be able to fix it.”

You sniffed and wiped at your nose.  “Well, that’s the burning question, isn’t it?  How could he still have feelings for me after what I did.”

It was Ransom’s turn to bolster your confidence a bit.  “Look, misunderstandings happen all the time. And honestly, you hadn’t seen him in so long – did he not think you’d have misgivings about what he had to say when he wouldn’t come and stay with you?  He could’ve come to your place and then taken you somewhere special to propose. This isn’t on you, Y/N.  This is on him.”

You gave him a half-hearted smile.  “It doesn’t really matter though, does it.  In the end, he’s gone and I’m alone.”  You laid your head back on the seat, closing your eyes to ward off more tears.

Your mind whirled with memories – the two of you hiking near your home with your beloved dog joining you; going to the annual fair and riding all the rides that made you squeal and him laugh at you; laying side-by-side in your grandmother’s hammock on the front porch.  He never just held your hand – he always intertwined your fingers. He said if you looked from above, you couldn’t tell where he began and you ended.  

 Had you really been part of such an amazing love story?  You could hear his voice saying your name as he wrapped a hand under your ear to kiss you goodnight, and you could hear it when he called you from oh-so-far-away where he was lonely and probably afraid but never let on so you wouldn’t worry.

You let out a giant sigh and pulled your phone from the storage pocket in front of you.  You’d texted him before you got on the plane because it seemed like the right thing to do as you traveled back to your past.  He was too big a part of it not to.

“Did you get a text from him?” asked Steve, looking down at your phone.

“No,” you said, “I sent him one before I got on the plane.  I always imagined he’d be there with me through everything.  I just needed to reach out to him.”

“Mind if I look?” he asked.

“Sure, why not,” she half laughed.

She scrolled to the top of the message and handed the phone to him. Steve read silently, his eyebrows scrunching in concern.

I know we haven’t talked in a long time but today is going to be hard and I need you to know how much having you in my life has meant to me.  Even though we didn’t make it to the end, like we’d hoped, my life is so much better because of you.  If I were to die tomorrow, I’d do it knowing that in my life, I was truly loved by someone special.  For so long, I didn’t know how to be me without you.

I’m so proud of you, serving our country and then taking on a dangerous job to protect others.  I never told you enough how brave you are.  When I was worried or afraid, you’d be there like a safety net, making sure my heart was protected.  I’ll never be able to thank you enough for loving me.

This is going to be a hard day.  There’s not going to be a safe landing.  Everything I had, everything that made me secure, it’s all gone.  I’m sorry that I gave up.  I’m in uncharted waters.  I should’ve fought with everything I had for you.  I hope you’re happy with someone who will appreciate you and all you have to give.  Whoever she is, she’s a very lucky girl.

Steve cleared his throat, trying to remove the giant lump that had formed there.  “Wow,” he said.  “Those are beautiful words.”

“They’re from the heart.  I felt foolish as soon as I sent them and now I feel even more stupid.  I can’t imagine how much he hates me.”

“Mind if I look?” said Ransom.

“Yeah, and then if you want, pass it across the aisle,” you said sarcastically.

Ransom rolled his eyes and his mouth turned up in a grin.  He scanned over the text.

“Damn,” he whispered.  He looked at you.  “Look, I know I don’t know you at all and this has been a little slice of our lives, an unpleasant moment we’ll forget quickly, but if this guy got this text and doesn’t respond to you, he isn’t who you say he is.  Ok, you fucked up.  You should’ve met him that night.  But this right here would be enough for me to make a U-turn.  You had something really good.”

You grinned at him.  “Ransom, are you telling me it’s possible that a girl could win your heart?”

His face flooded with color.  “No,” he said a little too boisterously.  “Trust me, anyone that can take a little of me has their hands full.”

Steve chuckled.

“What?” said Ransom defensively.

“Something tells me you’re all talk.”

Ransom narrowed his eyes at Steve.  “What does that mean?”

Steve smiled a true American hero smile.  “It means, watching you with Y/N, I think you’re really a pussycat. Go ahead and act like a tough guy, but we all know the truth.  You’re a softie just looking for the right girl.”  He couldn’t help the smug look that replaced his smile.

“Alright Captain Jackass, you go ahead with your self-righteous psychoanalysis.  I’m capable of being nice to a woman without being a softie.  Seriously, the 1940’s called and they want their word back.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the two of them.  You never thought when you sat down between these two incredible hunks that you’d share your life story with them and they’d comfort you as you discovered a secret that would haunt you the rest of your life.

Ding

“You’ll notice the fasten seat belts sign has been activated as we make our descent.  Please secure your belongings and return your tray tables to their original position. We should be arriving at our destination in a few minutes.”

“Seriously,” grumbled Ransom, “how many people have died from errantly deployed tray tables.  Is that really our biggest concern?”

You giggled a little at his words and he looked at you, the first real smile he’d smiled all day gracing his handsome face.  He had the most piercing blue eyes.  You wished he would find someone who’d give him a chance. Underneath that gruff exterior, you just knew there was a loving, caring guy.

“Need a hand?” asked Steve, taking yours in his.  You smiled and squeezed gently.

It suddenly occurred to you what awaited when he arrived.  “You must be so excited!”

“I am,” he beamed.  “I’m going to meet my baby girl soon.”

“She’s a lucky little girl,” you smiled.

“Poor thing, just trying to imagine the first guy that comes to pick her up for a date,” Ransom grinned.

Steve raised an eyebrow.  “She’ll never know, I’m locking her in her room when she turns 15,” he smiled.

Slowly the plane began to descend.  Your heart suddenly leaped into your throat as you thought about what lie ahead for you.  You thought of walking through your grandmother’s home and a feeling of loneliness washed over you, causing an ache in your chest.  

“Doing ok?” Steve asked.

You turned to him and smiled.  “Yes, thank you.”   You looked to Ransom and back to Steve.  “This has been a great flight.  Thank you both for indulging me and listening, and for your support.”  You looked at Ransom.  “I know you said this is just an unpleasant moment we’ll soon forget, but I can tell you both I’ll never forget either of you.”  You fought the tears stinging your eyes.

“Yeah, well, it’ll probably be awhile before I forget you as well,” said Ransom.  

Steve pulled a pen from the bag in front of him and wrote his cell number on your palm.  “Put it in your phone.  Call or text me anytime you need to talk.  I mean it.”

That ache in your heart suddenly subsided.  “Thanks.  And I mean it too.”

Within a few minutes, the plane touched down roughly on the runway, then slowed and taxied to a stop at the gate.  You pulled your bag from under the seat in front of you.  You felt lightheaded so you closed your eyes and took a deep breath.  You could do this.  

Ransom took your hand and helped you up, and you made your way behind him into the aisle, Steve behind you, his hand on your lower back.  You walked out into the boarding bridge, walking slowly behind the crowd of passengers.  In a few minutes, you’d leave these guys who you’d never see again. You took your time shuffling along, prolonging the moment.

The crowd in front of you slowed and then stopped, as passengers found those that were meeting them.  That ache clenched your chest again.  You’d make your way to the rental car desk and get a ride to take you to what would surely be a sad, nostalgic evening.

“Hmm,” said Ransom.  “Interesting.”

“What?” you asked as he blocked your view.

“Probably just a coincidence.”

“I don’t know,” Steve said skeptically.  “Seems like too much of a coincidence.”

Now you were behind both of them and you couldn’t see anything but the backs of their gorgeous heads and their pants hugging their fine asses.  It was definitely the best view of the trip and probably the best you’d have for a long time.  You snickered thinking about it.

“Well, guess we’re going to find out,” said Steve as he took a couple of steps to his right and stopped.  

You were able to see ahead now as they parted, and the first thing that caught your eye was the pink tulips – a huge bouquet of them.  You looked above the flowers at the pink Petunias t-shirt, the blonde Van Dyke on his chin, his round wire framed glasses and spikey blonde hair.  Your breath caught in your throat and you stopped, unable to move.  You felt a hand at your elbow – Steve.  You looked up at him.

“You ok?” he asked.  It was a fatherly tone and you smiled a million watt smile at him, grabbing his hand and Ransom’s arm, pulling them forward.

You walked up to him, taking him in.  He was beautiful, even better than you remembered.  His body was toned and solid, tattoos peeking out from under the t-shirt.  Blue jeans graced his long sexy legs, high top Chucks rounding out the look.  You were overwhelmed by how much you needed him. How had you lived without him for so long?

“Hey beautiful,” he said in that sexy baritone voice.  He extended the flowers to you and you took them, inhaling deeply.  

“I can’t believe it.”  Your voice was so quiet you were sure he didn’t hear you.

“I’m here Y/N.  I’m here for you.”  He pulled you to him and you lifted the flowers, wrapping your arms around his neck. He touched his nose to yours. “Did you think I’d leave you to do this alone?”

You looked into his beautiful blue eyes and tried so hard to believe this was really happening.  “I didn’t expect you to be here.  Not after what I did to you.  I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.  Not until I read Gramma’s letter on this plane did I know. I can’t imagine how badly I hurt you.” You swallowed, pushing the hurt down deep.  “I understand why you moved on, I do.  And it’s ok.”

You saw the pain in his eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.  “There’s no one else,” he said, “never has been.  I screwed it all up.  I just did it all wrong.  I should have come to you.  I wanted to see you so bad.  I just didn’t want to put you in danger.”  He looked down and swallowed, then looked back into your eyes.  “Did you mean it?  All those things you said in that text this morning?”

“Yes,” you said, your voice strong.  “Every word.  I love you so much.”

He pressed his lips, so soft, to yours and gave you the sweetest kiss. “I love you too.  Always, Y/N.”  He kissed you again, this one deeper, his arms wrapped around you so securely.  You could die right now and it would be ok.

Suddenly, you were aware of your surroundings.  You pulled away from him, an arm around his neck, and you looked at your seatmates.

“Ransom, Steve, this is the love of my life, Jake Jensen.  Jake, these are the superstars of Row 12 that got me through this flight.”

Jake extended his hand to each of them.  “Thank you guys.  Flying is not her favorite.  Appreciate you both being so good to her.”

Ransom eyed him carefully.  “You’ve got a really great girl here,” he said to Jake.  “Don’t fuck it up.”

Steve smirked at Ransom.  “He’s right,” said Steve.  “Take good care of her.”  He looked Jake up and down with his best Captain look.

“Shit,” Jake muttered and you laughed, kissing him reassuringly.  

“Thanks guys.  You’re the best.”  You stepped forward and kissed each of them softly on the cheek.

Steve nodded and smiled, then walked towards his handler, who’d escort him to a car and whisk him away to the hospital to be by his wife’s side.

“Good luck!” you called to him and he smiled.

Ransom secured the strap of his bag on his shoulder as he approached a leggy blonde in a tight designer dress with a figure to die for.

“Hey baby,” she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and laid a kiss on him that would make a stripper blush.

“Easy babe, save some for the hotel,” he said, wrapping an arm around her waist and walking away.  He turned and gave you a last look, flashing you a gorgeous smile.

“Damn,” said Jake, “if I was another guy, I might be kind of jealous and insecure about that, but I’m not some other guy, I’m your guy,” he said, rubbing his nose to yours.

“And don’t you forget it,” you said, kissing him deeply before pulling him by the hand away from the gate.  

“We’re going to have to go through all of the pictures you know,” you said with a devilish grin.

“Oh God, do we have to?  I don’t need to be reminded of what a dork I was back then.”

“You’re still a dork, but a very sexy one,” you said as you walked hand in hand towards your future.

Tags:

@what-is-your-plan-today  @captainsteveamericarogers

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 1 )

Part1 / Next 

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: This is my first Marvel fic and I am taking it as a challenge. It is opposite of what my account was made, but here I go. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Word count:  3,281

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU 

Y/N- Your name Y/L/N:  Your Last Name

                                   --------------------------------------

  Through sleepless nights and dark circles, books and pens, through months of work you reached your goal. The moment you received the acceptance letter from Stark University you almost flew out the window without a fear in your mind. This was it!

  Time had passed since that moment, but it is still engraved in your mind- a memory keeping you strong during the hard midterms and piles of work, even the small glimmers of regret. Trying your best wasn’t an option, you could do only that and no less. It was no easy task, lost social life as much as you tried to keep it. You were really lucky you had good friends that understood and supported you. University wasn’t easy for anyone making this one even tougher. People of all ages, backgrounds and cultures were piled up with you in this building. The best of the best as the slogan said, the ones that proved themselves and emerged victorious.

  When you were young ,you used to spend a lot of time with your uncle at his places outside the country. He would introduce you to his work colleagues and things you had never seen before. There was a time where you would spend months on end with him. Not many memories were left from those moments in your head. At one point you spend a few years with him, your mother thought it would be good experience for you and it turned out to be nothing but the truth-at least you hoped so. You learned a lot from him and his friends, it felt like each spend day would offer you more knowledge in areas you never knew of. Computer work, ways of thinking and so much more that had become second nature to you.

  The sky was tinted in a wash of oranges, reds and yellows bleeding one into the other, swirling around the sun emitting them. The day was ending, but you found yourself filling up an application in the library, covered by the silence and smell of exam worry.

  Sponsored and founded by the one and only Tony Stark, this establishment offered an internship. Being part of the Avengers, Tony didn’t let just anyone from the students attending in, even if they were the best labeled by the school. It had been a year and a half since you started pushing yourself harder to be able to apply and there was nothing that could stop you. Pressing your finger over the enter button was very nerve wrecking yet simple. Even if it didn’t work out this year, you planned to do it again and again ,till he had no other choice but give you a chance.

  Usually F.R.I.D.A.Y. went over everything and left only the applications worth going over by Tony himself or Pepper. The next 5 weeks for you were very stressful, but there was nothing more you could do but wait and focus on your own work. The first person you wanted to tell about this was your uncle. He went to work in some distant place where they had no internet so you switched to mail. Not as much paper under his name passed through your hands, as he had stopped answering you. You missed him, but the muddy childhood memories kind of compensated for that.

“Did you send it in?” the phone muffled a bit the sweet voice coming from the speaker 

“Yeah, a few days ago actually.” You answered with a gentle sigh

“And no answer yet?” the girl’s pitch rose at the end of the sentence, amazed at that what she just heard

“I know, I know. Think about it though Nea. Who knows how many applications get submitted. Someone has to brush through them after all.” defending the situation was a form of coping for you, made you feel hopeful.

“So you are trying to tell me Tony Stark’s interface or whatever it’s called, can’t sort them out in a couple of hours? Come on Y/N! You and I both know you are trying to make yourself feel better.” The small pause made you anxious over what Nea said “Listen.” A breathy start of the sentence “ I don’t mean to brag, but I think I am one of the people who know exactly how much you deserve this. You were never the studious type, plus that you were gone for years on end with that mysterious uncle of yours. I never expected you to suddenly go for Stark University. Your dream changed you, from this quiet kid to crazy ol’ you right now on the call with me.I ain’t letting you bust yourself up over this just because it didn’t happen the first time around-”

                Ding ding

  Nea’s deep speech was cut off before she could unleash herself completely, by the slight ring of your phone’s notification.

“Who tf has the audacity to text while the great me is giving this legendary –“

                Ding!

  The second time the sound sung out made her choke up with anger, you could almost see the fumes coming out of the phone.

“WHO IS IT!” a loud hiss pierced your ear

“Maybe if you gave me a minute I could answer your question.” Pulling the call down, your finger ran over the screen to the email, making your notification lamp blink like a car. Almost instantly it opened before your eyes and you gasped. The action made you swallow suddenly and cough out a bit ,giving poor Nea an idea about the level of shock you were in.

“What?What? You can’t just almost die and not tell me what is going on.” She proceeded with a not so tasteful interrogation.

“I-…they accepted my application…” at the end a small smile flowed over your lips contorting the sound coming out

“Stop!?” she choked up as well “You gotta be fucking with me!? No fucking way this is real!”

“I am honest. It says here that they liked my skill set, my grades and the way of thinking I presented in my essay. I got the spot Nea! I fucking did it!” you threw the phone on the bed letting it bounce as you started dancing.

“Of course you did! I told you! You will be working with THE AVENGERSSSS!” at some point it sounded like your best friend was more excited than you “When do you start?”

“Well…” taking a second to calm down and re-establish contact with your phone, you looked up the schedule that came attached with the email “…ok…so it says here that I will be starting on Monday so~ in 2 days? “

“So soon! Any requirements for the job miss Avenger’s sidekick?” and the teasing begins

“A list, surprisingly.” Rolling onto your back, you held the screen away and above your face, scrolling past “ I guess my first job will be with Dr. Banner in the lab. Apparently I will be given some sort of assignments throughout the 5 months work span. I will be monitored by Dr. Bruce Banner and the grading, I guess if you can call It that ,will be done by Tony Stark himself.”

“Basically Hulk will be your babysitter.” once this girl starts teasing she never stops even in amazing situations such as this one, good thing you loved her “That sounds so cool though! You will be able to meet Captain America and Black Widow~! I am so jelly of you I swear! When you leave work make sure to wait for someone from the group to walk by, omgggg I am fangirling so much right now.What if you go to dinners with them!?AAAAA!”

“Fun thing about that.” Your eyes landed on the last paragraph of the email “It says here that I am supposed to move into the compound and stay there till further notice. The whole idea is that if I do things well I will get a permanent job. Weird…” you hummed

“Weird !? How? That is so cool! Who knows you might even become an Avenger! You will be living with them anyways.” at this point Nea was either not breathing or hyperventilating so fast you couldn’t hear it

“Don’t be ridiculous.” your attention landed once more on the thought process you had a moment ago “I don’t get one thing. They say here that my PE grades combined with my IT and overall studies make me a great candidate, but I don’t remember sports being a requirement at all, or even providing them in the first place. Does it mean that if my grades were low in that department I wouldn’t have gotten the spot?”

“I guess people of science aren’t that flexible. Who cares anyways! You got in, no ifs and buts. I am telling you, at this point you could be an Avenger.” poor girl began thinking of names and suit designs for you “ Hurry up and pack those bags before I drop by with take away, so we can gossip over Steve Rogers’s abs.”

“Um…don’t get me wrong he is super hot, I just see the Cap more like an older brother figure than anything.” It was true, you looked up to him since the first time you studied about the Civil War. Fearless, gave his life in a way for his people, astonishing man over all.

“Hey! Let me drool over him! You were always more of a Winter Soldier fan anyways.” Nea pouted audibly . Her words made some lone memory pop up in your head, but it was as murky as the rest. “I don’t know why I am interested in him. Somehow his look is very nostalgic and rugged. Anyways. ”you shook your head out of the mental image of the soldier “I will go pack up, tell my parents and fix up all my documents. Probably find some stuff from former Stark employees online. I want to have a bit of an idea of what he expects and what I am getting myself into.”

“Fine fine, you could have just said you like troubled guys. You were the one who was happy Loki got a second chance after all. I will be over in like 3 hours.” She informed you

“Hey! He deserved to redeem himself, he was used!” a firm Loki supporter as always “Ok then, see ya.”

   Hanging up the call you placed your phone to charge and rolled off your bed. The email gave vague information about what you needed, but clothing wise you would still be able to come home and get stuff if you had to. What was on top of your priorities were papers, documents, all your research materials and tech. Those things had to be organized no matter what ,since they got you this far in the first place.

  Nae came over as planned and you two had a nice sleepover talking about you know who. The night came and left, letting the morning find you in your bed at 11am. Your forearm rested on top of your forehead in a relaxed manner, letting enough space for an exhale to linger in the air in front of you. Your mind was going over everything that was about to happen to you. It was one of your dreams, you worked for it nonstop day in day out, so why were you so worried about meeting the rest of the Avengers? Maybe it was just anxiety or fear of the unknown, yeah made sense.

  All you did during the day was make lists for every piece of tech you were binging with yourself. Things seemed to be in order, but worry kept nibbling on your bones. The moment of truth finally rolled up and so did your suitcase in front of your house. Nea came to send you off as she promised.

“Sweetie, make sure to call us every day. Eat well, don’t overwork yourself and-“ your mom went off with caution about anything and everything that came to mind

“Mom, you know I am going 3 blocks down from here right? Plus I can come home at any time I want to. I am not moving to Mars or getting arrested.” You smirked the panic away from her, giving them a big hug.

“Call me or text me when you get there.” Nea pulled you in, whispering in your ear as quietly as possible “And don’t forget to sneak me a booty pick of good ol’Cap. You know what they say-”

“That is America’s ass.” Your voice came out in a mocking tone

“That i-…let me at least finish it by myself! Geez!” she pushed you towards the door “Ok ok, go now before you spoil me something else” her arms crossed in front of her chest

  The walk wasn’t that long, you were too invested in your own thoughts to notice when the time and distance had passed. The glistening windows of the compound building shined into your eyes. Your lungs filled up with a breath that they kept in for a moment, before releasing it back in the outside world. Pulling out the documents you stepped in. The fresh smelling air hit you making you close one eye for a second.

People were walking around you fast and concentrated. Some looked in a hurry, others were on break with a cup of coffee and a strain-leaving expression.

 Your feet, as slightly shaky as they were, took you right up to the front desk were a lady with a dark rich red colored uniform looked at you. She flashed a professional smile, her eyes asking for your purpose.

“Um, hello. My name is Y/N -Y/L/N.” she saw the logo on your papers and gasped

“You must be the new intern Mr. Stark told us about.” She signed something and reached out “Can you give me your hand for a second.” Your fingers didn’t go past the surface of the desk when she pocked your skin. Pulling in your extremity, your palm wrapped around the spot that began to sting a bit “Don’t worry about it. This is your identification pass. Fancy, no?” she smiled winking. Her body stood up as she pointed at the elevator far in the back of the foyer.

  Instructions were given with each step of the way, calming your nerves a bit. The moment you found yourself inside the elevator she pulled your hand to the sensor on the wall next to the buttons.

Recognized: Code 2514. Welcome Miss Y/N  

 Your head shot up when F.R.I.D.Y.’s voice echoed in the small space. The women smiled giving you a small nod and stepped out of the vicinity. Once her body was outside ,the doors slid closed. Over them glowed a protective blue light layering over the material like a soft veil.

 It felt like you weren’t moving an inch. Your body flinched when the sun stung at your eyes from the window. Your gaze landed over the view of the city, as you went higher and higher, ascending into the clouds  The blues and yellows were covering the inside of the elevator, such vibrant and lovely colors warming your body. For a moment your heart felt heavy- lost memory tugged onto it again. An often occurrence lately, yet you kept brushing off as deja vu. 

Floor 134. Welcome to the Avenger’s compound Miss Y/N

“134!?” the numbers cracked out with your voice. The interface made you turn towards the opposite opening doors revealing a room as big as a hall, if not almost a stadium. The ceiling was high being the lid to this round area. Your heart beat increased pumping blood to your body, dilating your pupils at least twice their original size. It look amazing, almost like you had just entered heaven. The walls were white, the furniture was perfectly placed and cream colored. Stepping outside you jumped at the sound of the elevator doors closing behind you. 

“Wow” escaped your lips, your hand pulling the suitcase closer. So this was the common room or the shared space. The windows were so big they were practically a wall of their own. The bright rays were making themselves at home giving the white paint a new color with each passing minute. The ceilings were probably the equivalent of 3 floors in height. There was this weird feeling of home inside, a bit of isolation maybe mixed in. 

“Miss Y/N?” your head swung to the side when you recognized that shy but bright smile. Throwing the papers on top of your suitcase, you extended your arm at the man.

“Ah.” Good thing your mind automatically responds politely to people without you giving it much thought “Dr. Banner. It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance.” you shook his hand gently a couple of times and let go ,finding the papers and showing them to him “My name is Y/N-Y/L/N.” gentle bow and a smile followed the words skillfully chosen

“Welcome Welcome. Tony is out right now so I might be the only one actively walking around the compound. Well…”he scratched the back of his neck, lightly hunching over with a sheepish smile “I am one of the people you will be working under anyways, so I guess it is good that I came to get you. I would love to show you the lab, but I am sure you would like to set up your things first.” You nodded and he showed you to your room. The corridor had 3 tall doors scattered on the walls, all looking modern and elegant.

“This is the side where usually we have our female members. Natasha and Wanda will be your nextdoor neighbors. Hope it won’t be any trouble.” Bruce looked at you ,when an aggressive shake took over your neck

“No, no. Not at all sir. I am very grateful to have such amazing heroes next to me. As a matter of fact won’t they be troubled with me here?” and here came the normal anxiety that you had for everything

“I am sure they will like you. Don’t worry about it.” Bruce stepped next to the door and waved you over “You don’t have a key or a door handle as a matter of fact. Tony’s idea, don’t ask. If you got up here on your own I assume he made the girls downstairs give you an identification implant. That is basically your entrance for everything here. Kind of an Avengers thing.” You nodded and him wiggling his fingers like a spell. Placing your hand on the door like he told you activated F.R.I.D.A.Y.

Recognized: Y/N. Access and ownership granted.

  The metal frame slid open and you found yourself standing before a big room. It was nicely furnished. The desk was big enough for you to work on it and have everything around. Bookshelves empty and ready to be used on your left and a large bed on your right flush against the wall. The window was once more its own wall right in front of you standing behind the desk. The bathroom door was opening a space before the shelf the same color as the paint in the common room.

“I will let you set up. If you need anything F.R.I.D.A.Y. is always here. The room is interactive, you can ask exactly what works under the interface’s control. The door is one.Take your time.”he was on his way out “Would you like some coffee or tea?”

“I would like some tea, thank you very much.” Bruce flashed you a smile “F.R.I.D.A.Y. the door please.”

Door closed 

  Done as said and requested, clicking behind you. 

Would you like an extensive list of my functions as an assistant?

“Please do.”

[spookybreadstick]

Hey!!!! I was wondering if you could write a scenario for Toby confessing to his s/o 😳👉👈 - dancing parrot 🐦🎶🐦🎶

Okay so I wasn’t quite sure where I wanted to go with this, I had so many ideas it was hard to choose so I kind of meshed two of my favorite ideas into one lol. I hope it’s okay, it’s my longest (I’m pretty sure anyway) little scenario yet and I’m nervous/excited to post it. I personally think it’s kinda cute but uh let me know guys 😅 I also had it be Toby confessing that he has a crush on the reader, and for the purposes of this scenario the reader is female (I tried, but it’s harder than I thought to write gender neutral scenarios) 

NOTE: I am trying out different ways to incorporate Toby’s tics into the writing, because I think it is an important part of his character and I want to honor that while having it be respectful and also easier to read. I put his tics in * * so that it is easier to see when he’s having a verbal tic because otherwise it can look a lil funky. Let me know if this was an okay way to go about it, I’m still learning! 

🪓 Toby Confesses To His (Female) S/O  🪓

"Dude, stop star-staring. You're making it weird." Toby whispered to BEN, who was currently staring intently at you from a distance.

"How do you think I'm gonna help you if I don't know what I'm doing?" BEN barely glanced at Toby, who was fidgeting nervously beside him.

After a couple of seconds, BEN turned to Toby. "I don't know, dude. I need to see you guys in action."

"What does that mean?" Toby asked.

"Just go over and talk. Act natural. I need to see the vibe between you two." BEN said, nudging Toby towards you despite his whispers of protest.

Seeing Toby walk slowly towards you, you turned and greeted him. "Hey, Toby. What are you doing?"

"Uh, nothing. Just, uh, j-just walking..? He trailed off uncertainly.

You didn't seem to mind his awkward behavior, and continued to chat with him for another minute or two. Well, it was more like you were chatting at him rather than with him. Toby was just standing there uncomfortably, as he tried to will all of his tics away for a few minutes. It's hard when he's nervous and trying to make himself look good in front of you. Suddenly, you were being pulled away by one of the other pastas who wanted your opinion on something. Toby watched you leave the room, waving goodbye as you went.

"Dude. That was literally the worst thing I've ever seen." BEN appeared beside Toby, laughing.

"Knock *knock who's there?* knock it off." Toby gave him a slight shove.

"I can't help you if you're gonna be a dweeb about it." BEN shrugged.

"I'm not being a dweeb!" Toby cried indignantly.

"Okay, sure." BEN rolled his eyes.

"So?" Toby asked eagerly.

"So, what?"

"So, does she like me too?"

"I mean, she must like you at least a little. You were standing there like a goober, and she didn't care."

"BEN!"

"I'm sorry, but that was some classic comedy material right there. I could have made, like, a dozen jokes about the whole thing. All I'm saying is, she didn't take a golden opportunity to make fun of you, so maybe you do stand a chance after all."

"Okay, well, are you gonna help me *hide the body* help me win her over or what?" Toby crossed his arms.

"Nah. It's too much fun to watch you make a fool out of yourself." BEN grinned.

"Dude, seriously?"

"Look, I may be a man of talent, but I can't pass my flirt skills on to you. They'd just go to waste, man."

"Thanks a lot." Toby huffed.

"The best advice I can give you is to just relax, man. Just chill out, and don't act like you have rigor mortis. The whole time she was talking to you, you were rooted to the spot and your limbs were all tight. Don't do that. Just be loose and let it happen, you know?"

"Do you think I should tell her how I feel?" Toby asked timidly, shifting his weight from side to side. He really did like you. And he didn't always get so nervous around you, he reasoned to himself. He was better in groups, at least, when some of the attention was off of him.

"I don't know." BEN shrugged.

"You're talking about Y/N, right?" Hoodie asked, stepping into the room.

"Jesus, man, you scared the shit out of me!" BEN yelped.

"Sorry. Toby, do you have a crush on Y/N?"

"No! Why would you think *clink clink clink* that?"  

"You're pretty obvious about your feelings, Toby."

"D-do you think she knows?" Toby asked, dread crawling through his body. "I mean, it doesn't m-matter, it's not like I like her or anything, I just want to know." He added quickly, trying to cover his tracks.

"No, I don't think so." Hoodie replied, after a moment of thought.

"Why do you care?" BEN asked Hoodie, peering at him suspiciously.

Hoodie shrugged. "I don't care too much. Just figured Toby would want to know if she was dating somebody else. I mean, if he did like her." Hoodie cocked his head to the side, looking at Toby through his mask.

"W-what do you mean? She's dating somebody?" Toby's hand began to involuntarily rub at his neck.

"Not yet anyway. But I did hear that Jeff might ask her out." Hoodie said casually.

"Jeff? Tha-" BEN's words were quickly cut off by Hoodie smacking him in the side. Toby's mind was too preoccupied with visions of you and Jeff together, that he didn't notice.

"S-shit. Do... do you think she'd say y-yes?" Toby asked apprehensively.

"I don't know. But if you did have feelings for Y/N, which you say you don't, but if you did then you should probably tell her how you feel before Jeff does. Just in case." Hoodie said pointedly.

Toby nodded his head several times before yelling about how he had to do something (something totally unrelated) and then dashing out of the room.

~~

Toby ran down the lengths of the corridors, desperate to find you before Jeff could. His heart pinched to think of what would happen if you did decide to go out with Jeff. He couldn't bear it.

Toby was so lost in his thoughts that he narrowly missed running directly into Sally, who was wandering the halls as well.

"Sorry, Sally, I gotta go." Toby puffed, out of breath.

"Toby! You gotta come play with me!" Sally looked at him with eyes full of childish begging.

"Not now, Sal." Toby bounced impatiently, waiting for her to move.

"Toby Rogers, you come play with me right now!" Sally crossed her arms. "Or I'll tell Slendy that you were being mean to me."

Toby looked down at her in shock. "You wouldn't."

Sally stuck her tongue out playfully. Toby sighed, then ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Fine! *Fine wine, very fine wine* I-I'll go play with you. But it has to be quick, I'm really *busy bee* busy!" Toby pleaded.

"Okey-dokey!" Sally exclaimed happily, grabbing Toby's hand and pulling him along to her playroom.

~~

When Toby entered Sally's playroom, he was expecting to find the table set for tea, with various stuffed animals positioned into chairs and dressed in different colored tutus. That wasn't a surprise. What was an unexpected surprise, however, was finding you sitting in one of Sally's pink plastic chairs. Toby skidded to a stop, like a deer in headlights, taking in the sight of you perched in the tiny chair with a princess tiara on your head.

"Hi, Toby." You waved slightly. "Like the tiara?"

"Uh, yeah. It, um, it looks-it looks great." Toby stuttered out.

"We're going to play Princess Tea Time." Sally announced loudly, putting on a tiara of her own. 

"Y/N and I are going to be princesses, of course." Sally gestured to the matching tiaras.

"Tickles and Marmalade will be the Ladies-in-Waiting." Sally pointed to a pink bear and a blue triceratops. "Larry is going to be a knight, and my very romantic fiance." She gestured to a manatee.

"And Toby is going to be the prince from another kingdom that comes to tea!" Sally beamed.

Toby plastered a big fake smile on his face before Sally's game of play-pretend began.

~~

The three of you had been playing for a good twenty minutes, and Toby had been having a good time in spite of the circumstances. He had been enjoying himself enough to have forgotten about the whole Jeff thing entirely. Sally was serving real cookies, and there was fruit punch in the pink teapot. Sally is an excellent little actress, and she had adopted an over-the-top British accent to go with her whole "diva princess madly in love with the lowly knight" vibe that she had going. Toby found himself relaxing as time went on, and he found his ability to actually converse like a normal person. He had even made a few jokes that you'd laughed at.

However, Sally decided it was high time to raise the stakes of her little game.

"Prince Toby, what just fell out of your pocket?" Sally asked, pointing to a spot of nothing on the floor. She leaned over to pick up nothing off the floor, then pretended to 'read' whatever it was. She gasped dramatically, hands over her heart.

"Prince Toby! This letter states your love for Princess Y/N!" Sally exclaimed. "And just when were you going to confess to my dear sister?"

"I-I-um, I-" Toby stuttered, unable to think of how to play along. This was becoming too close for comfort.

"It's true?!" Sally gasped dramatically once more, ignoring Toby's failed acting attempt. "Good heavens! Sister, what do you think?"

"I... I don't know, dear sister. What ever should I do?" You asked Sally, half-playing along.

"Well, we have to determine if Prince Toby's love for you is true." Sally turned to Toby excitedly. He stared at her blankly in return. 

"Well? Go on, tell her how you feel." Sally urged.

Toby looked at you and suddenly words starting coming out of his mouth that seemed to stumble right from his heart. "I don't know how to act when I'm around you, because you make me so nervous. You're the most amazing person I've ever met in my life. You're like... like a goddess to me. You're so beautiful, and kind, and you're always so nice to me of all people, and I really wanted to tell you this before, especially since there's other guys that want your heart, but I was scared of what you'd say..." Toby trailed off, heart racing. "I, uh, that's how the prince, I mean me, that's how I feel about you. Princess Y/N." Toby tripped over his words, trying to act like it was all part of the game.

"Now that was romantic." Sally sighed happily.

~~

The game ended shortly after that, due to Slender calling Sally downstairs so she could watch some cartoons that she liked, which was a good thing since Toby could hardly bring himself to look you in the eyes. He worried that you had read between the lines and realized that his words were actually true. Sally had just skipped out of the room when Toby stood and faced you. You stood as well, plucking your tiara from your head and fiddling with it.

"That was a pretty intense game." You half-laughed after several beats of awkward silence.

"Y-yeah, it was." Toby looked at the ground.

"Sally's got quite the imagination."

"Yeah. *Yeah, yeah*"

"You do too."

"What?"

"I mean, coming up with that whole thing about how the prince feels about the princess? That was pretty creative."

"Oh, yeah... about that..." Toby trailed off. "S-sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything."

"No, no, it's fine. You were just playing the part." You smiled to try to put his obvious nerves at ease.

"But-but I wasn't." Toby looked you in the eyes.

"You weren't?"

"No, I..." Toby drew in a deep breath. "I really like you."

"In what way?" You asked, half in a whisper.

"That-that way. The-the lovey kind of way?" Toby half-whispered back, unsure of your reaction.  

"Really?" Your eyes brightened with hope.

"I like you so much and I really want to be your-your....your prince." Toby looked down at his hands, before glancing back at you. "If-if you want me to. I get it if you d-don't like me..."

"No!" You cut him off. "I like you, too."

"In that same way?" Toby glanced at you hopefully.

"Yes. In that same lovey kind of way." You repeated his words with a smile on your face.

Toby's entire face lit up with joy as he pulled you in close for a hug and maybe a kiss.

~~

"Guess things worked out for old Toby after all." BEN mentioned to Hoodie after the two of you announced to the mansion later that day that you were together.

"I guess they did." Hoodie commented. 

"What about the whole Jeff thing, though? He never mentioned anything to me, and I'm his best friend, and then you practically body-slammed me earlier when I was talking about it." BEN turned to face Hoodie.

"Oh, I made that all up." Hoodie said casually taking a sip of the drink he was holding.

"What? Dude, why?" BEN shook his head in confusion.

"Because," Hoodie began as he looked across the room at the happy new couple, "he would never have told her otherwise if I didn't give him just a little push."  

[spideymarvelws]

What The Eyes Can’t See

Chapter One : Love And Fire

Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader (Royal!au)

Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Warnings : slight smut, violence, death, cursing, eluding to torchere, abuse of power.

Series Summary :

People are afraid of change, afraid of the impossible, afraid of things that are not known. But how can they not be curious? How can they stay in the kingdom grounds, knowing that they live everyday on a repeat until their grave? Aren’t they curious to what lies beyond the forests? Whats hidden behind the trees? The wonders that lie outside the harsh walls that are set around them?

“The king be dammed,” you muttered, the rules that where set upon you the furthest thing from your mind. Riding your horse out of the borders, you did what you have always done best, you ran, the only thing keeping you going was being back with you family, your home. You could hear the guards quickly approaching, the shout of your betrothed growing closer. You can’t give up, not yet, not when you have your own love chasing you, looking for you, waiting for you.

But yet, you couldn’t decide which direction they were coming from.…

Word Count : 2.2k

...

Bucky threw his chalice across the room, the wine spattering against the floor like fresh blood. His heavy breathing caused The rest of the men in the room to flinch at his actions, trying focusing on everything else besides their frustrated king.

But silence only angered him more.’

“AM I IN THE PRESENCE OF A BUNCH OF FUCKING MUTES!” He screamed, slamming his hand against his desk, “OR THE HIGH CONCIL MEMBERS THAT MY FATHER TRUSTED TO RULE THIS KINGDOM”

After a few seconds, the marshal spoke out.

“Your grace,” he started, leaning on the table with his elbows and playing with his fingers, “The people of this kingdom are becoming weary with your empty answers to the recent raids. We can’t continue to ignore it, it’s becoming a serious-“

“I am aware of the severity Lord Browne,” Bucky muttered, settling back down into his chair.

“Then why is not action being taken?” The chamberlain spoke out, “Pardon me my king, but the outsiders have been increasing their steal in food and supplies, the people-“

“The people will always have their belly full, even if half our stocks where to vanish, they would have enough for months to come, maybe even more” the king spat, motioning his hands for another glass of wine.

“What about the people outside the wall? Aren’t are part of the kingdom as well? They should be taking into account since recent events have been effecting them the most,”

Bucky frowned, “Has my father not drilled into your head that they hold no value to the kingdom? They’re too poor to leave and too scared to defy the crown, what else is there left to discuss about them?”

In the silence that followed, a chuckle was heard from the far end of the table. The king raised his head, a devious smirk on his face.

“Is something funny to you Lord Scrivens?” Bucky stood, adjusting his tunic.

Without hesitation, the lord responded, “So we’re going to let this continue? Let the outsiders raid our villages? Our farms? Let them brainwash our people into joining their cause? They’re going to think that we’ve gone weak!”

Bucky grinned, walking behind the chair of the speaker, “Are you questioning my logic, Lord Scrivens?

“I’m questioning why we’re lowering our hold on the kingdom and letting those rats get away with disobeying the laws for decades! The crown was suppose to change when you took it, but your nothing but a coward just like your father” 

Without warning, Bucky unsheathed his knife, burying it in the lords right thigh. As he was about to scream, the king wrapped his hand around his throat, pulling his head back. 

“We’re lowering there guard, letting them think that they have the upper hand. And when the day comes that they fight back with full force, they won’t know what hit them,” He pulled the blade back out, wiping it on the lords tunic.

Turning to walk out of the conference room, he made eye contact with every lord, cocking his head to the side, “Let this be a lesson to question my authority again, Hmm?” 

He turned to exit out the door, “Or next time I’ll slit your throat,”

…

The cold water running down your back sent shivers throughout your body. It was soothing and comforting, after a long day of hunting and gathering supplies, it was nice to wash off the dirt and grind that stuck on your skin throughout the day.

Before sunset, the camp was always quiet, as thought time stood still for the sun to say its goodbyes. It was your favourite time of day, to be by yourself, alone with your thoughts and while the silence brought many people fear and uncertainly, to you it was a gift of relaxation.

Filling another cup of water from the barrel next to you, you poured it onto your legs, washing the dry blood of your calves. As you were about to finish, you felt strong arms wrap around your waist, the feeling causing a small smile to grace your lips. You leaned back into the chest, letting the body comfort you even more.

“Where were you this morning?” He whispered into your ear, slowly littering kissing down the side of your neck.

“They called my in earlier that usual,” you muttered back, resting your head on his shoulder, “Not my fault your a heavy sleeper,”

He hummed into your neck, tightening his hold on your body, pulling you closer to his chest. Your naked skin pressed against his as he took the cup from your hand and filled more water. Before he could pour it over you, you turned around in his hold, taking the cup from his hand gently.

“I was about done before you came,” you poured the water down his chest, trailing your fingers down with the liquid, “Don’t want to waste anymore water,”

Your fingers continues to explore his body, moving from his chest to his arms then to his neck leaving it there to focus on his sweat and dirt laced hair. 

“Why didn’t you go down to the river?” He mumbled, getting lost in the feeling of your fingers running through his blond locks.

“It’s better in the morning,” you traced his jawline, “Now, what were you doing when I was gone?” You questioned, soaking his hair and face.

“Did you miss me?” He replied cheekily, shaking his head from side to side like a dog. You let out a playful gasp, raising your hands in front of your face in attempt to shield yourself from the stray droplets, “Not anymore, you bastard,”

You turned around to grab a clothe but was immediately pulled back. But instead of being met with a hard chest, you felt him focus your ass against his cock.

You snickered, “Did you miss me Steve? Seems like it went both ways.” 

“Just a little,” he growled into your ear, smashing his lips against yours.  He walked you against the wall turning you around to face him. You raised one of your legs to rest against his hip letting him roughly wrap both around his waist. One of your hands grabbed at his shoulder while the other moved down his stomach, wrapping your fingers around  his cock, making him groan loudly into your mouth.

“Quiet now,” you said quietly, “We don’t want to get caught,” you paused, “Again,”

Steve chuckled, resting his forehead against yours, “i’m not the one that has to worry about being quiet doll,”

…

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Steve whispered, lightly nudging the top of your head with his nose. You let out a soft giggle at his actions, snuggling further into his chest.

“Nothing much,” you hummed, lost in tracing patterns along his abs.

“Come on now,” he hummed, turning to his side to face you fully. You did the same, cushioning your head on his bicep, “Talk to me doll,”

You let out a small sigh, taking one off his hands in yours, playing with his finger tips, “Our troops have been growing, almost everyday new people are being recruited to fight against the kingdom for our rights,” you started, “And that good right? More people, means more power. But that also means a greater war,”

“War can’t be avoided,” Steve interjected.

“I know Steve, It’s just, what if we can avoid it?” You said hesitantly, looking deep into his ocean eyes.

“What are you getting at?” He asked, confused and curious.

“There is an entire world outside of this kingdom, we could travel north, find new land and settle down. We have the resources, we have the money, why can’t we move on? Stop the fight,” 

“You know why, Y/n,” Steve said stone faced, turning your determination to guilt, “We can’t abandon them now, not when we’ve come so far and given up so much,” 

You avoided his eye contact, continuing to play with his fingers, “I know, but I doesn’t stop me from thinking about being a little selfish sometimes,”

Steve took your hand and placed a light kiss to your knuckles, bringing you into his body, hugging you tightly. You tucked your face into the crook of his neck, tangling your legs with his once again. His mouth was close to your ear as he spoke softly, “i understand you concern Y/n/n. But these people are our family, this place is our home,” he kissed your ear lobe, “But, when this entire thing is over, I promise, I’ll give you the life you deserve, that we deserve. We can travel north, find a new home, a safe haven. Only a few more months of sacrifice and we’ll get through this, we’ll be free, together, forever and always,”

You turned your head slightly to kiss the side of his jaw, nuzzling your face further into his skin, “Okay,” you whispered, “Okay, I’m sorry, I just-“

Before you could finish, Steve pushed you on your back, rolling on top of your body while keeping his face close to yours. 

“Don’t apologise for speaking your thoughts Y/n,” He let out a sigh, “I understand wanting to leave, after so long we’ve stayed stagnant in our fight, but change is coming, our troupes are growing and the freedom out kingdom once saw many centuries ago is returning,” his crystal blue eyes met yours, “You just got to hang in a little longer alright?”

“I will,” you said softly, laying you hand on his cheek, “As long as I get to lead the hunts from now on”

Steve gasped, “This isn’t a negotiation Y/n,”

“It is now,” you smirked back, draping your arms around his neck, “We have the entire woods to explore, and with your lead we rarely go behind the hills,”

Steve groaned, pushing his face into your neck, “Fine,” he raised his head back up, his lips brushing against yours, “Only because I love you,”

You smiled, Pressing your mouth against his, “I love you too baby,”

…

“You know day after day, night after night, you never fail to impress me,” Bucky spoke, roasting a fresh cut of meat over the open flame, “Even after all these years chained to a cave, your determination never faltered. Congrats to you, really,”

The man in front of him payed no attention, his head hanging low with blood dripping down the side, joining the growing puddle on the floor. 

“Do you want a piece when it's finished,” he continued, enjoying the mockery he was making of the man.

When he didn’t respond again, his face morphed from one of humour to one of stone.

“Strike him,”

The guard that had accompanied him hit the man across the face with the back of his armoured hand. The man however made no noise, only spitting out the blood that had accumulated in his mouth before returning to his original position.

“No, my king,” he stuttered, voice void of emotion.

Bucky’s smile brightened at the words,“You know,” he twirled the meat, “I admire your will. The fact that if you just tell me were your daughter is, all of this could’ve been avoided,” he dropped the food into the fire, “But love is a dangerous thing,”

The king stood back up and walked over to the man, kneeling by his side. “They’re closing in on us, fighting harder and harder every single day and every night I go to bed, I imagine plunging my blade into her heart, but not after I do the same to you in front of her” 

Bucky stood back up “I’ll leave the fire up for you tonight, let you remember what warmth feels like. The months to come aren’t going to be pretty,”

As we approached the mouth of the cave, the man sneered, “You try to hard to be like your father when you’re not Bucky,”

Bucky turned back around, “What did you call me?”

The man ignored the question, “You have a heart boy, you have a mind of your own separate from the sovereigns. You know what your doing is wrong,” he spit out more blood, “What would your mother think of the man your forcing yourself to be,”

With long strides, Bucky aggressively walked back to the man, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pushing him up against the rough surface of the cave. His breaths were harsh, foiled with rage at the man’s words, but the truth behind them prevented him from ended him right there and then.

“Don’t do you dare bring up my mother, you hear me?” He growled, “Or else next time I won’t have much mercy,”

He dropped the man back down, signalling the guard to follow him back out. As he reached the exit once more, he stayed long enough to hear the man’s final words.

“You have her blood within you, don’t let that go to waste,”

With that, Bucky walked out of the cave into the dark of night. He could feel the moon and the stars judging him from afar and a familiar bitterness on the tip of his tongue instead of the satisfaction he thought he deserved.

...

Taglist : @jadegill​ @bluevxnus​ @learisa​ @supernaturalwintersoldier​ @un-viaje-en-las-estrellas 

[sweetness47]

Karma is a Bitch

Theme: smutty filth, criminal activity, virgin reader, etc… MATURE 18+ READERS ONLY!!!!

Pairing Criminal!Steve Rogers x Nurse!Reader

This is for @sherrybaby14​ and her Reader-insert smut prompt challenge - Steve Rogers Prompt #16

A/N: I hope you like this @sherrybaby14 (hugs)

Final word count: 3898

Summary: After finally getting her freedom from mob life and putting her brother, James “Bucky” Barnes, behind bars with her testimony, a chance encounter with a wounded man puts everything she’s built for herself in jeopardy.

Steve’s POV

This just wasn’t my day. I’d just pulled off a brilliant jewelry heist, only to get noticed by a passing patrol car while exiting the store.

Fuck my life.

It wasn’t always bad, at least not while I worked for Bucky. He was one hell of a crime boss and was more than fair to his employees, myself included. But now? He was in prison for 25 to life, because of a whack load of evidence and some pretty hefty testimonies. What was left of the empire he’d built was trying to survive.

That being said, fast forward to tonight. I make a beeline for the alley, my escape car parked two streets over, two-minute sprint through the back lanes. The cops started firing at me, I fired back. I managed to make it to the car and unlock the door before they rounded the final corner, weapons still drawn, bullets still flying everywhere.

Adrenaline was pumping wildly through my veins as I took off down the street, my unmarked Firebird screeching over the pavement. Taking back alleys and dark roads as much as possible, I finally managed to pull into a dark lot and ditch the car. I grabbed the jewels and ran for the underground sanctuary I had for emergencies.

I never made it there.

Reader’s POV

There are pros and cons to being a nurse. I get to help people, save lives, but the hours are shit. The only reason I stay is to help the patients. Well, that and money helps. Not that I need it. But I don’t like to use the other funds I have at my disposal, except in a dire emergency. They remind me too much of my brother and the life he had before my testimony put him away for life.

I was able to get into the witness protection program and have my name scrubbed from the testimony. I loved my brother, don’t get me wrong, but it was too much danger. My life almost ended a few times, but the last time was what made me turn. Not only did a rival family kidnap me, one of them almost raped me, and threatened to execute me. NOT FUN!

My brother killed them and rescued me, but I’d had enough. All I wanted was to live peacefully and without constant fear of being targeted by someone else. I changed my hair, my clothing, my looks, and my name, got a place in a different area of town, and was finally at a place in my life where I could just be me.

Well I was.

I went for a walk late, my German shepherd decided to fancy a stroll, and of course, how could I say no to that beautiful puppy face. I wasn’t worried about being attacked or anything, mostly because one look at Bowser (yes I named him Bowser), and most people crossed the street to avoid me. It was a nice feeling.

It was Bowser who noticed him first. I was completely in my own little world, enjoying the evening air, the stars. Bowser barked, whining as he strained against his leash, desperate to get to whatever was in the parking lot. I frowned. Bowser never behaved like this. It was unnerving to say the least. I followed my dog’s lead, and my jaw dropped at the sight of the man on the ground, unconscious, blood pooling from a wound in his side. I knelt down and check his pulse, and breathed a sigh of relief upon finding he wasn’t dead.

I went to call 9-1-1 and get an ambulance, but a hand reached out to stop me. “No cops. Please.” He croaked before passing out once more.

I frowned. I didn’t like the road this evening was heading down, and I certainly didn’t need to draw attention to myself. But I couldn’t walk away either. This man needed help, and I was the only person around who could get him the help he needed.

I checked around for security cameras around the lot, finding none close by, then checked the street. It was almost a god send that the streets were empty at the moment, and that my home was close by. I grabbed him by the arms, and dragged him back to my house, Bowser sticking close by, in case something bad happened.

Steve’s POV

I winced at the sunlight pouring in, it’s brightness blinding me something fierce. I had a massive headache, and on top of that, every movement shot burning pain through my abdomen. I gingerly moved my hand over the area and felt a bandage. Then I remembered seeing the blood seeping through my clothing right before I collapsed.

I’d been shot.

But I wasn’t in a hospital, nor was I in a prison medical facility. I was in a house. Whose house, I couldn’t say, but it looked feminine. The room I currently occupied had sunshine yellow walls, with decorative floral art pieces hanging from them. The furnishings were dark mahogany to contrast the yellow, and the bedding was a mix of pink and grey, with a quilted floral bedspread. It was actually quite breathtaking.

I tried to move, desperate to take a leak, only to realize three things.

1.       I was naked.

2.       It hurt to move.

3.       There was a massive German shepherd sitting at the foot of the bed watching my every move.

Fuck!

The dog whined and barked, drawing in a woman, no an angel. Her (H/C) hair flowed about her with fluid grace, in time with her body movements. Her skin was radiant, almost glowing in the sunshine lit room. Her (E/C) eyes were magnets, drawing me in like a ship to a siren.

My body certainly had no problems with her looks either, I could feel myself growing hard, and had to shift the covers to hide my obvious attraction.

“Going somewhere?” she asked, raising her eyebrow.

“I need to use the washroom.” I managed to speak with a somewhat normal tone. My other brain was screaming for me to take her and do wicked things to that delectable body of hers.

She cocked her head to one side, as if studying me. “Hmm. Ok. Here,” she tossed me a robe. “Put this on and I’ll help you to the bathroom.”

I nodded and slipped the white terry bath robe over my broad shoulders. It was actually quite roomy and comfortable. She blushed and turned away while I awkwardly stood and wrapped the plush material around my torso to cover my hard-on.

Once I was ready I cleared my throat and she turned back to me, then came to put my arm around her shoulders to support me while we journeyed to the washroom. Once there, she released my arm. “I’ll be here when you’re done. There’s a new toothbrush in there, and shaving products should you want to use them.”

I nodded and closed the door. After relieving myself, I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I didn’t shave, but made sure my beard was trimmed and clean. Once I was done, I ran my fingers through my hair, using a small amount of water to smooth down the stray hairs.

Satisfied with my appearance, I opened the door and, true to her word, the woman was leaning against the wall, waiting for me. She positioned herself on my sore side, taking my arm and wrapping it around her shoulders once more, and walked me back to the room.

My body reacted to her close proximity, her scent was intoxicating. Citrus and floral, a hint of vanilla and sandalwood. I fought the urge to take her against the wall, fuck her senseless, pound into her so hard that she wouldn’t walk straight for a god damned week.

Only the pain from the gunshot stopped me from my current fantasy. Carefully I sat on the bed and she helped me swing my legs up so I could lay back on the pillows she’d placed behind me.

“Stay.” She ordered, before disappearing from the room. Minutes later she returned with a tray containing a sandwich, some soup, and what smelled like coffee, along with a glass of water and what I perceived to be pain meds. “Do you take cream or sugar, and do you have any allergies?”

When I shook my head, she continued. “Here’s some T 3’s. They’ll help take the edge off the pain. After you’ve eaten, we’ll get you set up for a shower, then I’ll check and redress the wound. You’re lucky, you know. It was a through and through shot, and didn’t hit any major organs.”

I arched a brow. “How did you know it was a gunshot?”

“I’m a nurse.” She said simply. “Besides, I’ve seen enough of those kinds of wounds to last a lifetime. It’s not my first rodeo with this shit.”

I wanted to ask what she meant but decided against it. It wasn’t any of my business. But I could see a hint of what looked like regret in her gaze, along with sorrow, like she missed someone, family perhaps. She turned away and strode out of the room, leaving me to dig in to the feast before me. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until now, the homemade broccoli and cheddar soup invading my senses, and the turkey bacon club sandwich that accompanied the hot liquid was divine. I took the analgesics and then quickly polished off the food before me, my stomach rejoicing as it received the tantalizing offerings.

My mind wondered briefly to the other things she’d said. Mostly, setting me up for a shower. I could barely stand on my own right now, maybe I could lean against the shower tiles for most of it, but getting in and out would be a challenge. What I wouldn’t give to have her in there with me, her hands sliding over my skin as she lathers soap over my body, caressing my shoulders, my abs, my aching cock. It was a wet dream right now, but damn, what I wouldn’t give to make it reality. To take her and make her mine. Permanently.

~~

Reader’s POV

I pride myself on my self-control, and my ability to do my job. Mr. Hunk wasn’t making my life or my job easy, that’s for sure. He’d been unconscious for two damn days, and I can’t even begin to count how many times I’d imagined what he’d feel like. I’m embarrassed to admit I’d masturbated a few times with him in my thoughts. It took every ounce of will power I possessed to clean and bandage his wound without running my fingers over his firm torso or those rock solid abs.

Last night I’d been so bold as to masturbate while watching him sleep. I imagined his fingers parting my folds, his tongue fucking me, his hard cock driving into me with wild abandon. I’d never reacted to any man like this. It was new and a bit frightening.

I’d kissed a few men in my 22 years, but I’d never actually done anything beyond that. James was very protective, and very intimidating. Any guy who met him usually took me on a very polite date, then I never heard from them again. After my brother’s incarceration I’d been so engrossed in work and changing my identity and address, I hadn’t really put any thought into dating

But now, with my overbearing sibling in prison, and this gorgeous man in my bedroom, the thoughts were most definitely there.

I walked back to the room after about half an hour, smiling when I see the empty tray. He was famished, as I’d guessed, and polished off the entire meal. “How was the food? Satisfactory, I hope?”

He grinned. “Beyond satisfactory. It was spectacular. Thank you. For all of this.” He gestured to his bandage and the tray.

I blushed and nodded, my eyes raking over his bare chest. “Your welcome. Now, we should get you showered and cleaned up so I can check that wound.”

He glanced at me, and I quickly averted my eyes. Had he seen me ogling him? Fuck.

“You should tell me your name. I want to know the name of my savior.”

My cheeks were crimson now. “YN.” I managed, my voice shy now.

He looked me over. “YN. It’s a beautiful name. I’m Steve.”

He held his hand out to me, and I took it. Instantly, sparks flew between us. He studied my reaction, and I couldn’t tear myself away from his blue eyes, sparkling like sapphires in the gleam of the afternoon sun.

I cleared my throat. “We should get you to the shower now.”

He nodded and I helped him stand. He turned to face me for a moment, and his head bent toward me, his lips brushing lightly across mine. He quickly straightened and apologized. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

I frowned and helped him to the washroom. Had I done something wrong? Was I supposed to react differently? My hormones were screaming at me to kiss him, to inform him he hadn’t been out of line at all. I was simply surprised by the gesture. I wanted him to kiss me again actually.

My panties were wet with the thought.

I started the shower then blushed furiously as I turned to him, only to find that he’d removed the robe and stood in front of me in all his naked glory. Fuck! My panties, if they weren’t ruined before, certainly were now. I was gushing. I’m pretty sure I orgasmed from the sight of him.

As if sensing my lustful thoughts, he stepped closer to me, and gently wrapped his hand around the back of my head, tilting it up to meet his lips once again. The second our mouths connected I melted, and any resolve I’d been having went straight out the window. He lifted my shirt and tossed it behind him with his good side, then went to remove my bra. I worked swiftly at removing my jeans and my ruined undergarments, then I put my hand in his and led him to the shower. The steamy liquid washed down over us, and Steve winced as his wound made contact with the water.

“Careful. Just turn slightly away from the water. Partial contact will be easier to endure.” I whispered.

Steve shrugged. “I’ve got something to distract me from the pain.” He pulled me into his arms again as his lips crashed into mine. There was no gentleness there, just raw, savage need. I could feel the thick bulge of his arousal pressed against my belly as I pressed closer to him. God this man was fucking incredible, well endowed, and at this moment…mine.

~~

Steve’s POV

Pain was about the furthest thing from my mind. I was pretty sure this was heaven as I watched YN take some soap and lather it over my body, taking extra care around the bullet wound. Her hands caressed my back, my front, then she moved lower, giving my hard cock some much wanted attention. Her tongue flicked over my length, then dipped into the tip, swirling around the large head, causing it to jerk. I almost came right there.

“Careful sweetheart. You might make me come too soon.”

She stood and grinned while blushing. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

I stopped her right there. “I wasn’t stopping you because I wasn’t enjoying your attention. Quite the opposite, actually. I was very happy with what you were doing. But I was hoping to finish in a different way.”

Her lips formed an ‘Oh’ while she turned a bright crimson. Could she really be that innocent? I was beginning to think she’d never done anything like this before.

We rinsed off and exited the shower, YN bending down to retrieve the robe from the floor. She wrapped it around me, then grabbed a towel for herself. Taking my hand, she walked with me back to the bedroom, where she had me lay down, minus the robe, while she put a fresh bandage on my wound. Once that was taken care of, she removed her towel and came to join me on the bed.

“How do you want to do this?” she asked.

I thought for a moment. I was in good enough shape to support myself with my good side, but I didn’t know if I could get all the momentum needed. The best option would be her on top.

“Straddle my hips.” I motioned with my hands, then I reached between us and felt her tight heat. She was so wet. Fuck! I slid my fingers along her slit, and she gasped when I slipped two of my thick digits inside her. Tight was in fact an understatement. I cursed then she moaned. My control was all but gone now, I wanted nothing more than to dive in.

So I did.

I lined up my cock with her entrance and after looking into her eyes, thrust inside. Her tight walls contracted as she struggled to adjust to my size. There was a brief flicker of pain in her eyes, but her smile told me all I needed. Then I was thrusting, slowly at first, making sure she was still ok, then I picked up speed.

She chanted my name over and over as she felt the first orgasm hit, throwing her head back as it washed over her. Her cries filled the room as my thrusts became more urgent, giving her more aftershocks.

“Steve…Oh God!”

Her words sent me into a frenzy as I hit my own climax, spilling inside her as her walls clenched around my cock.

Panting, she collapsed on top of me, then scurried to the side when I groaned. “Oh my god, sorry.” She immediately felt horrible for the faux pas.

“No worries.” I reassured her. I pulled her close to me our bodies relaxed from the mind-blowing sex we’d just participated in.

“Ok.” She said quietly as her eyelids closed, along with mine, our bodies resting together.

~~

Reader’s POV

I woke first, glancing beside me, my cheeks flushed as I recalled what I’d done with this man. Carefully maneuvering out of his arms, not that I really wanted to, I got off the bed and went to check his wound. The vigorous sex we’d had last night hadn’t opened the stitches thankfully, nor had it caused any weeping. I breathed a sigh of relief and tugged on some sweats and a t-shirt. Padding to the kitchen, I set about making some breakfast, quickly deciding on pancakes and bacon.

Maybe it’s my inner consciousness chiding me, but I realize I know nothing about the man in my bed. I don’t know who he is or why he was shot. I don’t know fuck all really, apart from his first name. There’s a small part of me that thinks he looks familiar, but for the life of me I can’t place him. I shake the thought from my brain as I mix the batter and start frying the bacon.

I have coffee going and most of the food made when I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around and I’m greeted with soft lips on mine. “Morning.” His voice is husky and I feel myself growing damp once again. I never knew one man could have such a profound effect on me.

I smile and hand him a mug of coffee. “Morning yourself, sleepyhead. How do you feel today?”

He sat down at the table. “Not bad, better than yesterday for sure. Considering the activities of last night, I feel pretty damn good.”

I nodded as I put out the food. “That’s good.” I pause as I sit down across from him. “We should probably talk.”

He seems to think on that idea. “Yeah, probably. I’m sure you’ve got a shitload of questions about everything.”

“I do, though I probably don’t want to know the answers to them.” I answer truthfully. And I really don’t, for numerous reasons. What I don’t know can’t hurt me, well not directly. Or at least, that’s what I told myself.

He nodded. “I was seen by a patrol car leaving the scene of a jewelry heist. I was seconds away from a clean getaway. I ran, they chased, they shot at me, I shot at them…blah blah blah. You get the idea. Anyways, I got to my car and drove off, only to get out, make it about 20 feet, and collapse behind the dumpsters. You know the rest.”

I pursed my lips. “How did you get into this life? You’re smart, strong, and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. You don’t seem like the type to just choose crime as a life goal.”

He looked down at his plate. “I was a street kid, orphaned when I was 11. This guy found me and took me in, gave me a place to stay and food to eat. I guess it was kind of like adopting, but he was only two years older than me. He had a family.”

My eyes widened. “Wow. So you stayed with his family?”

He shook his head. “No. He hid me at their family guest house for some years. No one ever used it, it was kind of like a prop on their land. So I had heat, running water, and shelter. The boy who’d helped me brought me some of his clothes and always visited me. My life would probably have ended years ago if he hadn’t found me.”

That uneasy feeling popped into the back of my mind again. I really hoped I was wrong with that thought. I remembered my brother spending a lot of time in our guest cottage. He never let me tag along, mostly cuz I was 4 and completely annoying at that age. But, he’d also warned me to never go near the cottage, else he’d beat me. Not that he ever laid a hand on me. It was just a warning, but one I took seriously at the time. He’d also warned me to never tell mom or dad about his frequent visits to the guest house. And I hadn’t.

I held my breath, debating whether or not I should ask the next question, the one that burned on the tip of my tongue. I would hate myself for asking, but I would hate myself more for not asking.

“What was the boy’s name?”

My blood froze when he answered, and not just from the answer, but from the tone of his voice. “You probably know him, since I saw a picture of him on your dresser this morning YN. His name was James, but everyone always called him Bucky.”

@sherrybaby14​ @legion1993​

[cravingmarvel]

When We Were Young - Part Three

Pairing: Bucky Barnes AU x Fem!Reader, Steve Rogers AU x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Reader being confused ab feelings but what’s new, 

Summary: Friends since they can remember and falling in love like they’re meant to. But sometimes life just isn’t what you expected. People making decisions, mistakes and saying things they shouldn’t when they’re young. When it comes to love, someone always gets hurt. Always.

A/N: Wow ok, first of all, let me just say a huge massive thank you to Mun ( @buckisthatyou​ ) and Ari ( @shurisneakers​ ) for giving me advice, criticism and wise words I needed. Without these two, this chapter wouldn’t exist now and I appreciate their opinion so so much! 🥺 Thank you all for waiting for this one I know it’s a little overdue but I have a pretty clear plan on where I want to take this series! This is part three of @spideywhiteys 1k writing celebration STILL! lmao sorry I’m dragging this out so much, love u!

As always, please reblog and comment! Enjoy!

Masterlist // Bucky Barnes Masterlist

When We Were Young – Part Three

I swallowed the painkiller, hoping for the pounding headache to be gone faster. Although I haven’t had anything to drink at the engagement party, Steve and I drowned our heads with multiple glasses of whiskey as the hours went on and now, I pay the price for it.

Perhaps the fact that what I had said to Bucky didn’t grand me a lot of seep adds to the hammering in my head. After getting to my hotel, my night was spend tossing and turning, tangling the sheets with my limbs, hoping that a change of position would pull me to sleep faster. Now that morning has arrived, I feel the lack of sleep mangling with my hangover, mixing in my head to form the worst headache I’ve ever experienced.

I laid back in the bed, covering my body with the soft duvet, ready to take this day as an opportunity to sleep and rest my body, before I have to catch my flight first thing in the morning.

My phone started ringing on the nightstand and I groaned, unplugging my phone from the charger and looking at the caller ID: unknown. I picked up waiting for the person on the other end to start talking.

“Y/n? This is Bucky.”

I sat up immediately, shocked to hear his voice. I knew it was him the moment he said my name. “Hey.”

“I’d like to invite you for coffee and lunch if you’d like. Just wanted to talk, y’know?”

Images of last night flashed through my head and it seemed no secret to me what he wanted to talk about. I looked out of the window to my right contemplating whether it would be a good idea to sit down with him, alone. The sun peaked through the spaces between the buildings as I had laid in bed lazily. It wouldn’t be such a bad idea to get out of this room and walk through the city, maybe even meet with Bucky.

“Sure, why not.” I replied.

“Great, uh, there’s a café called ‘bloom’ do you know it, or should I send you the location?”

“No, I can manage.”

“Great, great. So, see you there? In an hour?” Bucky questioned and I noticed the distraction in his voice and the noises in the back, he must be busy.

“Great, see you.” Not wanting to keep him occupied longer we said goodbye and I hung up, sitting in bed for a moment before it dawned on me. I’m going to lunch with Bucky, the man I had just yesterday confessed my love to.

Without wasting any time, I got ready quickly, putting on a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt, tugging it in. I opted for a green jacket and matching coloured sneakers, ready to leave.

Pulling up the place Bucky had told me about on google maps, I grabbed my bag and walked down the many streets the gps guided me through. I had hoped he would’ve forgotten about last night and the disaster that occurred, but I hoped wrong. My nerves were growing the closer I got, and I couldn’t ignore my hands shaking, the sweat collecting on my palms.

I saw the café in the distance, scrambling up the little confidence I have and taking a deep breath in before I opened the glass door.

The small place Bucky chose was adorable, walls painted pastel pink, flowers hanging from the ceiling with strings of lightbulb shaped fairy lights. Not a place I would’ve pictured him in back in the day. I’m sure young Bucky would have make fun of the Victorian windows or the uniforms of the waiters. He wouldn’t be able to shut his mouth about it for at least a day.

I slowly looked around the room, scanning the many faces to recognize one of them as his and as I walked in further, anxiously playing with the strap of my handbag, I finally spotted him further into the room and he jumped up from his seat by the wall, a small smile gracing his lips as soon as he locked eyes with me.

All the confidence I gathered outside evaporated into thin air immediately as I reached him, unsure of what to do now.

I smiled back at him as he leaned forward to pull me into a hug. The embrace lasted seconds. If he held me this close – too close – any longer I would have moulded into his body, became one with his fingers on my back, tight muscles on his chest melted together as one. But, seconds later as we parted, I felt the air flow steadily back into my lungs.

As I sat down the weight of the moment rested on my shoulders. I haven’t sat down with Bucky like this in a long, long time, but although all these years stood between today and the last time I had seen him did nothing to the familiarity of the moment.

“What would you like, it’s on me.” He spoke as a waiter approached us and I looked at the menu briefly, catching my attention back.

“Welcome to bloom, what can I get for you?” The waiter smiled down at us. It has been a while since I had eaten anywhere else outside of my own café, the pressure of being ungodly kind a little odd from a costumer perspective.

“I’ll take a cappuccino and a grilled cheese on toast, please.” I said to him as he wrote my order down. Bucky gave the man his order, an Americano and a salad, and the waiter walked away to another table.

“I remember you eating those at my house all the time.” Bucky laughed. “Always wondered when you would get sick of them.”

“I don’t think I ever will, and your mom always made it impossible to refuse her famous grilled cheese. Can’t imagine anyone not loving your moms cooking.”

“Well, Nat rather eats at restaurants so.” Bucky shifted in his seat, clearing his throat. “Anyway.”

The awkward atmosphere carried on into an awkward silence on both parts. Bucky wiping his hands on his jeans every once in a while, looking around like he’s just as uncomfortable as me.

“So, how have you been? Steve told me you own his mom’s café now.” Bucky asked, breaking through the silence floating between us.

I nodded as our waiter came over with our order, putting our coffee and food down, smiling politely. “Thanks.” I said in an almost whisper, smiling back at him before he disappeared as quickly as he got here. “Yeah, I knew it was the right thing to do. I love that place and I have an employee, Jenna. She’s great.”

Bucky flashed me another smile. “That’s great.”

“So, how’s Hydra?” I asked as I took a bite of my toast.

“Good, good. Been… really stressful, y’know, with the wedding and all. Sorry.” A smile that didn’t reach his eyes, followed by a laugh that sounded more like a giggle. Still without feelings, but reassuring, nonetheless.

“No, it’s fine.” A heat rose to my cheeks that I tried to hide by taking a sip from my coffee hiding behind the cup. “I wanted to talk to you about what I said last night. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Y/n, it’s fine.”

“No, that- that was when we were young. Back then.”

Bucky let his head hang, looking down to his lap. “Oh, ok yeah. I wanted to apologize anyway for what happened. I didn’t know how I felt towards you. We’ve been friends for so long that I thought it was the right thing to feel, then I met Nat.” Bucky looked back up at me and I wished he would just drop it already. “I’m sorry, for everything.”

“It’s fine.” I said a little too harsh, forcing a smile.

The waiter came back to our table once again, thankfully. “Is everything alright here?”

“Sure, yeah. Tastes great.” I said to him truthfully. The food and even the coffee did taste great, but it did make me think about my café. Obviously, nothing compares to Mrs. Rogers original coffee blend.

“Y/n, I wanted to ask.” Bucky pulled something from his jacket and laid it on the table between us. “It’s an invitation to the wedding. I really want you to come.”

“Bucky, I-“

“I’ll pay for the hotel and everything else you desire. I just need my best friend there with me.”

Best friend. At this moment I didn’t feel like his best friend, sure back then I was. Back then we would have never been this awkward, but now with all this time between us I wouldn’t call this a friendship even. A part of me wanted to decline, to get up and walk out, but another part told me to accept.

Sure, we’re not the best of friends, but we were a long time ago. I took the grey envelope, staring at it. “Ok, I’ll come, but you don’t have to pay for anything.” I looked up and for the first time since I sat down, Bucky showed a genuine bright smile.

We ate our food and surprisingly, Bucky was the one reminiscing on the old days. He recalled the day we met for the first time, saving me from those bullies. “If I hadn’t been there to save you, Y/n, you would have been screwed!”

“Oh, as if!” I looked at Bucky who raised his eyebrows at me. “Alright yeah.” Rolling my eyes at him in response, I took another sip of my coffee.

We continued to laugh at the time he saw that I had gown boobs over the winter, how poor Bucky was so flustered he couldn’t even say ‘boobs’ without stuttering over every letter. We laughed so hard, we had to cover our mouths because of all the stares from the people around us.

I noticed the stares from a few people not at our loudness but at the silver reflecting the sun rays. It was no doubt that they were staring at his left arm. It’s not like we’re kids anymore, being fascinated by the metal prosthetic.

“How’s the arm?” I asked, looking at the exposed hand.

“It’s doing alright, Stark’s thinking about replacing this one though. Something a little less reflecting.” We erupted in laughter as Bucky turned his hand to cast a blinding reflection at the ceiling. “That and Nat is a little freaked out by it.”

“Why?” I knitted my eyebrows together.

“Well, she just wants something less attention grabbing.” Bucky looked into my eyes and without him having to say it, I knew how much it actually hurt him, despite brushing it off as a joke. He was always bad at playing up a façade, his eyes giving away everything that needed to be said, calling him out almost. It was his weakness. Not the arm, but his eyes. Luckily for him, only a few figured this out, the language his deep blue eyes spoke.

We steered the conversation back to something more cheerful, catching up on our very different experiences of uni. Steve has already filled him in on all the shenanigans we got up to. It was this, the past, that had awoken a lightness from a seemingly decade long sleep, to rise between us. Rivalling the sun, begging for a moment in the spotlight.

It must’ve been around noon as we finished our food and coffee. Bucky asked me if I wanted something else, but I knew that I had to leave, to end this right here. But a desire for him to ask again, to keep me in his company withheld my answer.

I needed to call Jenna, I said to him and he nodded in response. We stood outside the café saying our goodbyes before parting ways.

I walked down the street, pulling my phone out of my handbag, dialling Jenna’s number

The sun set behind the buildings of London, declaring the end of another day and another day done for Y/n. The calm pace of the city didn’t match that of the growing crowd in Captain’s Coffee Cup. Hectic customers running in ordering coffee to go and leaving just as quickly with their paper cups in hand, dispersing into the streets.

For Y/n it meant that she had to be quick on her feet, almost transporting to different places in an alarming pace. She had no explanation on hand as to why it was so busy that day, a weekday, but morning to evening busy all the same. It’s indeed worse on the weekend and every Saturday she woke with her back and knees already screaming in pain.

The constant switching between taking orders, making them and bringing the ones to the table that were enjoying their coffee in the café. Y/n could not decide if her feet hurt more than her back or vice versa. Being the only waitress and barista made for an interesting challenge and she had no idea what losing Steve as a partner would mean.

But as the day finally came to an end, she thanked the sun for going down after all. Y/n was busy cleaning tables, putting up chairs, cleaning the floors and the bar on top of all the things she needed to do at the end of another shift. After three hours of resetting the events that occurred at the café, she was glad to take her apron off.

A tiny detail Y/n almost always forgot was the paperwork, so with a huff and a groan, she took herself to the back and into the office to do the managing side of the job that she hated.

And upon almost falling asleep on the desk, an idea struck her, hiring someone would take away half the work Steve did. Someone who would help her out without doing the paperwork.

So, she got right to work and wrote down on paper an ad for the position.

Y/n hung the ad on the door of the café in hopes that someone walking down the streets would see it and apply, that even just one applicant would help her out.

But that’s not what happened. Seemingly a dozen applications were either handed to her personally or ended up in her mailbox. Y/n had a hard time believing that so many would consider working at the café, but she was indeed grateful.

After work she piled through the applications and that’s when it dawned on her; she had no idea who or what qualifications she was looking for. Y/n has never been a leader, someone to tell other people what to do. The challenge of finding people to work for her ended up being quite a difficult task, but she took in on, nonetheless.

Y/n narrowed it down to ten applicants, inviting them to an interview, day after day a new person to question and day after day another one eliminated. Y/n was sure to give up at this point, the process taking more time than expected, but that day Jenna walked in, second to last applicant to be interviewed.

Y/n saw it as she sat down with Jenna that she was send from god herself. Experience in both being a waitress and a barista, but the best part was, she knew how to manage a café and that was a quality none of the other applicants had.

Beside her qualifications, she was sunshine personified. Bright and motivating, both headstrong and polite. Y/n couldn’t have wished for anyone better than Jenna and the qualifications translated from paper better than expected.

Soon Y/n and Jenna became close friends after working four months together. It was more a partnership than Jenna ever being an employee. She brought something to the table that Y/n wanted to learn from and quickly realized that instead of bossing her around, she could open her ears and listen to what she suggests, open her eyes and watch her work to learn more.

Because after all, Jenna was the one with more experience and Y/n appreciated the bond that formed, hanging out after work sometimes a bottle of alcohol between them as they sat on the counter talking for hours on end.

It was one of those nights, a bottle of rather expensive liquor, a luxury they could afford and talking about university. Jenna telling her about the shenanigans she had done in her days, but she always knew she wanted to work at a café, despite the reputation. Jenna confessed to her, her wish of having a café of her own and Y/n’s heart bloomed.

It was getting late and Y/n offered to call a cab for Jenna, but she declined.

“My girlfriend is picking me up.” She said as she put her coat on, throwing her purse over her shoulder as the little bell over the door chimed.

A petite woman walked in, confidence in her step. Her hair free laying atop her shoulders, her skin a dark tone of ebony just like Jenna’s. She smiled as Jenna walked towards her, pulling her into a tight hug, followed by a kiss.

“Y/n, this is my girlfriend, Dina.” Jenna said turning, keeping her hand on Dina’s back.

Y/n was slightly confused but still shook her hand introducing herself. It wasn’t the shock that Jenna was gay, it was that she had never mention Dina. Y/n was never one to judge, that much she learned from life. It was the fact that Y/n worried Jenna couldn’t confine in her about her relationship, but it wasn’t that, Jenna said to her later, she needed confirmation that she could trust Y/n completely.

Y/n went home that night thinking about the trip to New York she would endure in a month time. If only she had a love like Jenna and Dina, the happiness they radiated was something Y/n has never experienced. The only thing she could compare to that kind of love was the love she had for the café.

“Hey Y/n, what’s up?” Jenna spoke on the other end and I was so glad to hear her voice again.

“Hey, sorry didn’t think about time zones.” I laughed as I remembered that it must be around eight pm in London, afraid to be intruding her night time routine.

“No problem I’m just in the bath. So, what’s going on in New York?”

“Well, I went to the engagement party and it didn’t go all too well.” I sighed into the phone, slowly strolling along the buildings beside me. The was no need to pretend I had called for another reason in the first place.

“Oh god, what happened? What did he do?”

“No, it’s more something I did.” I bit my lip, knowing full well she wouldn’t be too impressed with my confession or the reason why I called her. Jenna was silent waiting for me to go on. “Well, I kinda told him that I loved him, back then of course I’m not that big of an idiot.”

“Oh, shit.” She blurted out.

“Yeah, and now he asked me to stay here to attend the wedding as well.” My feet carried me along the sidewalk without me thinking about it. The headache forming back again in my brain made the sun shining between the concrete skyscrapers a curse.

“What are you going to do?” Her voice sounding more concerned on the other end.

“I told him I’ll attend the wedding, but if you need me at the café I’ll catch the next flight-“

“No.” Jenna said, interrupting me through my stutter of words and excuses. I stopped walking, giving her my full attention. “It’s not that, I’m just worried about you digging yourself a deeper hole.”

“What do you mean?”

Jenna exhaled. “Every time you talked about Bucky the feelings you had for him didn’t seem to be in the past. I’m worried you’re doing him a favour that will break your heart.”

I felt bad, dragging her into my life like this, having her worry about my life when she had her own to live. I picked up my pace again, dragging my feet along the sidewalk. “But maybe this is a good way for me to end this chapter. To move on with my life because frankly, Bucky is in love with Natasha and I can’t just run away pretending that she never happened.”

“Maybe, but don’t get too involved. Go to the wedding, have fun and then go back to your life. If you want I could come to New York and ask Dina to-“

It was my time to interrupt her. “No, I can’t ask that of Dina.” I shook my head.

“Ok, fine, but Dina is helping me out at the café anyway, been stressful alone, don’t know how you managed to do it so long.” Jenna chuckled and I heard the admiration in her voice, filling my chest with pride.

“Yeah, me neither, but let me pay her for her work, I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.” I knew Dina would refuse, but I just couldn’t let her work for nothing. That woman has more energy that Jenna and I combined, and her kindness shouldn’t be just swept under the rug.

“Alright, take care of yourself, Y/n. Enjoy New York, you deserve it.”

“Thank you, Jenna. Tell Dina ‘hi’ from me and ‘thank you’.”

“Will do, bye.”

I stuffed my phone back into my purse, seeing Steve’s apartment building to my right. I was about to ring the doorbell as a man stepped out of the building, letting me in and I walked up the few flights of stairs to his apartment. The closer I got to his door, the clearer the loud voices became.

I got to the door and the voices got louder, my brows furrowed together as I heard a woman shouting just as loud as the other, I recognized instantly as Steve. Unsure of what to do, I stood opposite the door, waiting for an idea to strike me, but I just didn’t know what to do.

The door flew open and a blonde woman I recognize from the photo Steve sent me all these years ago as Sharon walked out of the apartment, her head burning red with anger and Steve behind her in the living room. She stormed down the stairs without so much so as a glance towards me.

I walked in carefully, a little scared. “Hey, Steve.” I said quietly to catch his attention and announce my arrival, but not startle him.

Steve turned around to me. “Y/n.” His tone undefining, unfeeling.

I couldn’t help thinking that coming over unannounced wasn’t the best idea I had. Steve walked around the couch, sitting down, letting his head fall back. He looked defeated, hair messily framing his face, brows furrowed together.

“Do you want to talk about what just happened?” I started to play with the zipper of my jacket out of uncomfortableness.

“No, I don’t.” Steve said with a deep exhale, not as angry anymore, his face and body relaxing.

An awful silence filled the room, me standing in the middle of it, looking around the room I was in just last night, drinking away my problems. The sun started to slowly creep behind the buildings marking the end of another day.

Today seems to be full of awkward silence.

“God, I’m sorry, do you want something to drink?” Steve said suddenly, making me jump. He got up from the couch walking over to the kitchen.

I followed him, putting my bag on the couch on the way. “Steve, it’s ok. I can get something myself.” I smiled up at him, trying to dissolve some of the awkwardness.

He sat down on one of the chairs at the breakfast bar and I opened the fridge taking a carton of juice out. With my back turned to him I stared pouring the juice in a glass I found in one of the cupboards. “Bucky invited me to the wedding, guess I’ll be staying for a little longer.”

I put the carton back into the fridge and turned to Steve, watching as his eyebrows shot up. “Are you really going? And what about the café?”

“First of all, yes and second of all, Jenna and her girlfriend Gina are taking care of the café.” Steve tilted his head in confusion and I almost forgot that he didn’t know about them. “Jenna’s my employee and Dina’s her girlfriend, been a huge help since we’re kinda popular around London.” I explained to him with pride, my chin tilting up.

“I’m really happy to hear that. And if you need a date for that wedding, I’ll sacrifice myself.”

We both laughed and I couldn’t believe how many years were between us. The amount of time that passed without hearing from another. The things he didn’t know about me nor the café. The popularity it gained over that period of time. But what hurt me the most was the fact that I didn’t know a lot about him, what he had been through.

“Aren’t you the best man?” I questioned.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t bring a date.”

I turned my head away from Steve. It’s been swept under the rug that we had a slight romance in the past but that seemed to be where it belongs, the past. My mind wandered off to the possibilities of being his date for the wedding. It would make me appear less lonely, having someone by my side that I’ve known for years. It would hopefully distract me a little from the event at hand.

I looked back to Steve, watching me with curious eyes. My lips curled up to a smile I couldn’t hold in. “Sure, why not?”

Steve walked around the breakfast bar, wrapping his arms around me. I wanted to ask, to clarify the intention behind the question. The words laying on my tough, breath and tones, but they couldn’t find their way out.

I’ve heard of this before. A book, a poem, what they call love, but in my reality, this translates to heartache.

-

[pies-writes-and-more]

PIES’ FIC RECOMMENDATIONS FOR MAY 2020

So I’ve never done one of these fic recommendations lists before but I really want to share some of the amazing work that I’ve read this past month! I’ve definitely read a whole ton more but I was dumb and didn’t think to like draft this list and then just keep adding to it... so I’m just attempting to go through my tags LOL please be patient with my dumbass. 

NOTE: Since I only started doing this recently, a lot of my recommendations are gonna come from a lot of my mutuals but I’m always open to hearing more about other fics!!! If you’ve got an incredible fic that you are super proud of or if you think that I should read something you’ve read, PLEASE SEND IT TO ME! I’m really big on StevexFem!Reader, BuckyxFem!Reader, WandaxFem!Reader, CarolxFem!Reader, and Stucky fics!!!

If you do end up reading these fics, please tag me if you reblog them or comment on them!! I’d love to see your guys’ reactions :) 

ANYWAYS THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE HAVE CRUSHED MY HEART WITH AMAZING FICS, RUINED MY IDEALS OF WHAT LOVE IS, AND/OR BROKEN MY HEART WITH ANGST ONLY TO REVIVE IT WITH SOME FLUFF. I love you all so very much.

PS. if these links dont work for some reason, please let me know so I can update this list because I was very distracted halfway through making this so it might not be perfect!

1.Walpurgis Night by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “In which Steven volunteers to find a long-lost princess of Starkerbürg. (Fairy Tale AU)” I have no clue why this fic is not given more goddamn attention because holy shit yall, I have never been so grasped by a fic before. If you love medieval/fairy tale type things, you will love this fic. And if you don’t, you’re gonna love it anyways because @anika-ann​ writes SO. FUCKING. WELL. 100% fluff and love.

2. Abs Aren’t Always the Answer by @its-not-captain-america​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve asks Y/N what girls are interested in, trying to impress her. Several shirtless pics later it’s not working.” Y’all want hilarious shit??? What about Steve Rogers always trying to take his fucking shirt off because he has the DNA (and the body) of a stripper? JK that’s not the actual reason but this fic is so funny, I died reading the first 700 times (and the 701st time too... and every time after that). 100% hilarious.

3. Challenge Accepted...? by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader ”Steve’s never been good at quick decision-making when it came to his own safety. After one particularly horrible experience, you find a way to remind him every day to think twice the next time he’s faced with a tough choice. He is not amused.” Steven Grant Rogers you stupid dumb hoe lol. That’s all I’mma say about this fic because it speaks for itself when you read it haha. Banter is iconic in this fic. 100% hilarious.

4. A Matter of Trust by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You and Steve get to go to a mission together after a while; free drinks, partying, dressing-up nicely, stealing blueprints, the usual. You might even enjoy this as a couple.“ This time it’s Y/N that’s kindof a stupid dumb hoe but like that’s okay because when Y/N is a stupid dumb hoe, it’s not as stupid or dumb as when Steve does it. There’s a bit of a carry on between Challenge Accepted...? and this fic! So I would suggest reading that one first and then this :) 100% hilarious.

5. For a Smile by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You see him run past every morning. So you smile, because he looks like a nice person. How could he not be when he smiles back and the world stops for a while to pay respect to such beauty?” So you know how Disney movies totally screwed over some of our perspectives of how guys were gonna come and sweep us off our feet? Yeah. This fic did it too. I’m still waiting for my fairytale fucking moment like this fic but if it never happens, I’ll settle for just reading this over and over again LOL. 100% F L U F F and LOVE.

6. Grease and Pearls by @anika-ann​​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “All you know is uptown; fancy clothes, expensive cars, jewellery outshining one’s personality and exhausting dinners with family acquaintances and business partners. Your life is all planned out; one day, you’ll marry Howard Stark’s son and you’ll be the golden couple adored by press.” This 3-part series slayed me. Like honestly, I’ve never been so torn apart before. Y’all lucky that if you read it, you get to read all 3 parts right away whereas I had to sit and wait for my heart to be torn apart and then stomped on. (Jk anika i love you you know that). Super amazing thing I love about this fic: it’s got links to the dresses that Y/N wears (super cute btw) AND it’s got two different endings so you can decide!!! 100% ANGST and 100% FLUFF? At the same time??? Because of the two endings?!?!?!? NOTE: part 2 got some steamy smut in there so 18+ readers only. I had to take a cold shower after reading it like goddamn.

7. Be Alright by @kayteewritessteve​ ​| Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve goes through a bad breakup, but a sweet voice and a friendly smile helps him realize he can begin again, and that he definitely should.” God this fic. I can’t with this fic. It’s based on the Dean Lewis song Be Alright, which is already one of my favourites, but this fic, ugh, Kaytee knows how to hurt you that’s for sure. It’s so pure and so wonderful. 100% SAD but like it gets better promise.

8. Cold Feet by @anika-ann​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

“After two months of dating, you’ve come to a conclusion as exciting as well as a bit irritating: Steve Rogers is a perfect man. He simply has no flaw.Or does he?” Mother. Fucking. Adorable. I dunno if there’s anything else to say except that anika really knows how to make me wish I was Y/N adsoifhosd. 100% F L U F F

9. Hot Chocolate by @vodkaxtonic​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “Steve gets sick and Y/N takes care of him, which involves a lot of Steve’s whining, hot chocolate and cuddles.“ Steve Rogers is a little shit who won’t just accept that he’s sick and needs to be taken care of BUT IT’S SO CUTE AND THIS FIC IS THE BEST!!!! 100% FLUFF!!

10. Home by @evanstush​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “It’s been 2 years since the last battle and it’s now Morgan’s 7th birthday, and well, Tony being Tony, he prepared a small party for her little girl, inviting everyone from the team, including you.” Hnnnggg this fic. Okay so. I love @evanstush​ with all my fucking heart because she’s always been so supportive of me and my fics. That being said I WAS NOT EXPECTING HER KIND ASS TO HURT MY HEART LIKE THIS. But again, it’s okay because it’s got fluff guys. 50% ANGST and 50% FLUFF. Well like it’s 100% both but like I have to split it haha.

11. Cocktails by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “ ~i really don’t know what to write i’m sorry~ DRINKS!” That’s okay, darling, I’ll write the summary you. HILARITY. WONDERFULNESS. THE WORD BLOWJOB WRITTEN SO MANY TIMES AND IT’S FUCKING GOLD. This is so funny i love it haha. This fic killed me. I should’ve seen it coming (hehe) but i didn’t lol. 100% HILARIOUS.

12. Unadulterated by @writeyourmindaway​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader No summary for this one but again, I shall do the honours haha. It’s part 2 of ‘Cocktails’ and this one is just as adorable and hilarious as the first part! Steve is a cheeky little soft boi and the flirting just makes me feel all sorts of ways <3 100% ADORABLE.

13. Water Wars by @writeyourmindaway | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader “The team finds a new way to unwind” I love fics where you just see the team get to be normal people!!! Plus haven’t we all thought about how the Avengers would are in a water fight? Is that just me? Don’t have to fantasize about it now because @writeyourmindaway wrote it for you :D 100% FLUFF.

14. Slow Like Honey by @heli0s-writes | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “The gossip that buzzes around in the teacher’s lounge is that sweet, sensitive, divorcé Steve Rogers is hot-for-teacher. His daughter’s first-grade teacher, to be exact.” I binged this whole fucking series. 8 parts of PURE. EVERYTHING. I have never so badly wanted a happy ending in my fucking life. This is an amazing series with so much love put into it, you can tell. I really can’t explain this fic because you really need to just go read it to know how amazing it is. NOTE: Part 4, 5, and 8 have some serious love smut in there so 18+ readers only please. UGH. I love this fic so much. I will continue to keep daydreaming about it and thinking about it all the time. God I love me some Dad!Steve. 50% FLUFF and 50% ANGST (which seriously tore my heart out like I cried).

15. You Make My World Spin by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “After the Battle of New York and all the mess Tony gets involved in later, Pepper believes he is in a need of an assistant slash tech genius. Enter you. While Tony is not amused by Pepper’s idea at first… he soon warms up to you.” So many insanely wonderful references in this fic, it’s hilarious. Also, Tony being a little shit LOL. Such a hilarious fic!!!! 100% AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS.

16. If You Stumble... by @anika-ann | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “If you stumble��make it part of the dance. In which you ask Steve what your date would look like if you lived the forties. He decides to show you instead. There are few flaws, holes to see through to glimpse beyond that illusion. But what life would be besides boring if everything was perfect? Perfect dress. Perfect date. Perfect gentleman…?” So my dumbass was so excited to read something that anika put out that I didn’t realize this was part 2 of a 3 part series lol I’m dumb yes I know. Anyways, this is part 1 so please don’t be like me and read the first part LOL. ANYWAYS, this was so fucking wholesome. This is definitely one that I need to read again and fully read in order (she’s got part 3 on her AO3, I believe) but ugh. I love the idea of Steve dating in this century, comparing things to how things were done in the old days ufglasodfhsd. I love it. Amazing. 100% FLUFF (I think because well my dumbass hasn’t finished but this part was fluffy :3)

17. @wxstedhexrt‘s poems | Read Them Here! | Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes I don’t think Destiny ever gave me a summary of these but (and Destiny, please correct me if I’m wrong in how you want these to be portrayed!) I believe they’re poems written throughout the whole Steve and Bucky timeline. She’s used the Winter Soldier’s words and turned them into a gorgeous set of poems. 100% My favourite thing in the whole fucking world. 

18. The Lonely Tree by @sarahwroteathing​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You have a favorite tree which you make sure to pass every day on your way to class, but one day you find you’ll have to get used to sharing it with a friendly art student.” Holy shit guys this 15 part series was so amazing. It’s 100% PURE FLUFF and PINING and gorgeous. Holy shit. Like I screamed reading the whole goddamn thing. Amazing writing by an amazing human being with some awesome humour haha.

19. @sinner-as-saint​ responding to an anon request? Amazing. | Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader Request: May I just spice up your day with the thought of best friend/roommate bucky being jealous when you bring someone home HOT. AS. FUCK. Holy shit. It’s such a short little list of things that Bucky would do but ugh. I was dying reading it. I love me some jealous Bucky smut. 100% angsty fluff? With smuttiness ;) 18+ readers please!!

20. @alloftheimaginesblog​ prompted fic | Steve Rogers x Reader (I could be wrong here but I believe the gender of the reader is never specified? But the ring is a woman’s ring so?? @alloftheimaginesblog​ pls correct me if you want!) Prompt: Finding an engagement ring in one of their drawers. So fucking fluffy I needed a cavity filled after ugh. I loved it so much it was just a gorgeous piece of writing. Steve is a little piece of poop for not hiding that ring better I mean come on, you’re telling me you couldn’t have punched a hole, put the ring there, and then cover it up with like a cabinet or something??? jk i still love you steeb. 100% fluff!

21. Laser Tag by @stargazingfangirl18​ | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “You play laser tag with your boyfriend Steve and his best friend Bucky. Since you’re just a plain ole civilian, you gotta use what non-Avenger skills you have to avoid losing. Hint: those skills involve Steve and kissing.” Iconic. Everything. Wonderful. There is nothing I love more than Steve Rogers being a little sucker for making out with his girlfriend even when there’s a competition. 100% fluff!!!!

22. Under the Rainbow, Draga mea by @binkysteebnpewter​ | Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader I don’t think there’s an official summary ( @binkysteebnpewter​ pls correct me if I’m wrong) but my summary is this: GAYNESS <3 I love me some wlw content so when I saw this pop up on my dash, I couldn’t NOT read. It’s soooo good. This is a Social Media AU and the amount of meme usage in there I- it’s fucking wonderful. It’s still in progress though so you guys will have to pine after this relationship with me. I FUCKING LOVE IT. 100% GAY LOVE <3

23. A Fic in which Peggy Carter plays wingwoman because these two idiots are in love with each other but they can’t see it so our Queen needs to throw it at them by @1she1hulk1​ (please note I made this title by myself because I don’t think there was a title LOL @1she1hulk1​ lmk if you want me to change this xD) | Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader “the plot is bacially you and Steve go to see Peggy and she tells Steve to finally make his move” Peggy Carter is a fucking Queen and she knows that Steve is falling for you, because he just won’t stop fucking talking about you LOL. Anyways, this is a super cute fic!!!! Please go give it some love because this human being who wrote it doesn’t think she’s a good writer?????? Crazy. 100% FLUFF!!!!

OTHER FICS THAT DESERVE MENTIONING!!!!

So because this is my first recommendation list on this site, I know I’m definitely missing some amazing fics that I’ve read but never saved (I’m a terrible person I know). So I’m just gonna add them in this list here because they deserve love and attention too!

@wxstedhexrt​‘s poetry. Period. End of story lol. JK. So the ones that I’ve read that are on Destiny’s tumblr aren’t all fandom related (besides the one that I posted above) but they’re still really amazing. I’ve never felt so captured by poems before (mostly because i’m stupid and don’t understand a lot of poetry). Ugh anyways I love her poems so much so please go check them out! CLICK HERE FOR BEAUTY <3

Alright so I know a lot of you guys know @kayteewritessteve​ but if you don’t, she’s this super amazing writer with INCREDIBLE series. (CLICK HERE TO SEE HER FULL MASTERLIST). But one of my most favourite series by her, and one of my favourite series of all time, is: If Only You Knew “You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him and everything else that happened on that horrible night.”  This 18 (plus an Epilogue) part series will literally have you screaming at your screen being like WHY YALL CANT JUST TELL EACH OTHER HOW YALL FEEL?!?!?!?! 75% angst (because Kaytee likes to hurt us) and 25% fluff BUT the fluff is SOOOOO worth it so it’s like 100% angst and 200% fluff (i was never a mathlete). NOW since, we’re on the topic of Kaytee’s writing, I’d also like to mention: Love and War  “In a harsh medieval world, you set out on a perilous quest that will lead you onto a forbidden land. A land ruled and controlled by a ruthless Warlord King, one who does not look favourably upon trespassers of any kind, and punishes all with an iron fist. You may not know exactly where this quest will end, but what you do know is you will forever be altered by it. And that knowledge alone is what truly terrifies you the most.” so I read this while Kaytee was writing it about a year ago and holllyyyyyy shit. Okay. So. Listen. Fantasy? Check. Romance? Check. Amazing writing? Well it’s Kaytee so yea obviously check. I want to list more things but I don’t want to give it away! This is a 15 part series (plus an Epilogue and Outro) but it goes by so quickly once you’re stuck and waiting for more!!!! 

[writing-mermaid]

Shades of blue

Summary : When a young artist is fascinated by the shade of blue in the eyes of the posing model.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x reader; Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter

Warnings : None

Word Count : 2067

Square Filled : @star-spangled-bingo : Model AU

Author’s note : Also written for @buckybarnesbingo ‘s fluffathon, with the prompts Admire, Art, After, Nuzzle, Cutie and Chocolate. Don’t forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.

Song of the title : Shades of Cool - Lana Del Rey

Masterlist

Star Spangled Bingo masterlist

Bucky Barnes Bingo masterlist

Buy me a ☕

Steve Rogers walks through the room, slaloming between the easels of his “students” of the day, while looking at their paper sheets. In the meantime, he looks at the model, his best friend James Barnes, who accepted to pose a few times a week because he needed the money for college. Steve understood why, because he too, had to look for a job to pay for his school fees. When he found that job, he knew it was the perfect one as he is majoring in arts.

Concerning James Barnes, rather Bucky, he needed it to continue his literature studies, his parents still had to pay for his five little sisters’ studies, and he couldn’t ask for them to have one more loan, since he lost his last job. When Steve told him about the model job, he frowned and said that he would try, even if he doesn’t think that this would be his thing, but he needed to eat and pay for his books. That’s how, for the first time in his life, Bucky finds himself naked in a room full of strangers, drawing him.

Sitting front row, Y/N Y/L/N is studying the handsome model’s eyes color. She cannot decide what color they are. Blue, definitely blue, but what shade ? Because it seems that the color changes when the light changes. At some point his eyes are bright blue, a minute later they can have the color of the sea, and a few seconds later, the color of a stormy sky. She’s concentrated on his face, and his face only, the rest of his body doesn’t interest her, just his face, his blue eyes, his red and kissable lips, that three days stubble, his short chestnut hair, her charcoal scratching the surface of the white sheet in front of her.

Steve stops by the Y/H/C haired girl sitting at the front row. He admires her work. Unlike a lot of people in the room who drew Bucky full or his body, or some parts, she’s only drawing his face. Steve looks at the precise lines she’s drawing. She seems to be mesmerized by Bucky’s eyes and Steve can understand why, his best friend’s eyes are sort of a mystery to themselves. Her gaze doesn’t live his and it seems that Bucky noticed. The way she looks at him above the easel makes Steve think about that scene from Titanic where Jack draws a naked Rose like as she says, “one of his French girls”. Steve works here for a few months now, and it’s the first time that he sees her. She puts down her black charcoal, searching for a blue one.

“This is an amazing work”, Steve suddenly says, making her froze.

“Thank you”, she answers, slightly blushing at the compliment.

“You really managed to capture everything of his face. His gaze, his mouth, nose, freckles. Though, you seem to be in trouble with the color of his eyes. I must admit that I myself never managed to find the good color.”

“How do you know that I have trouble with finding the model’s eye color ?”, Y/N asks, curious to know.

“Oh, Bucky is my best friend, and he was my very first model when I started to draw when I was a kid. Even now, when I happen to draw him, I still don’t find the right color, so I make drawings of my girlfriend Peggy or of landscapes, that’s less complicated”, Steve explains. “I’m Steve Rogers by the way”, he adds, extending his hand.

“Y/N Y/L/N”, she replies. “Sorry, I won’t shake your hand, or you’ll have charcoal everywhere.”

“Don’t worry, I’m used to it. Anyway, if you want to, I can introduce you to him after this session, which will be finished in fifteen minutes”, Steve adds, checking his watch.

“Thank you, Steve”, she smiles at him.

The last fifteen minutes pass like a blink of an eye and Steve thanks everyone for attending to his lesson and listening to his advice. Y/N starts to clean her easel, closes her sketchbook and puts her charcoals back in their box. Meanwhile, Bucky slips back the robe that he abandoned two hours ago on a stool next to him. At the second Y/N left the room to wash her hands, Bucky walks to Steve, who’s cleaning the leftovers.

“Who’s she ?”, he asks his blond friend.

“New one, just like you. Very good one though. She’s the only one that drew your face and not your body. I even saw one or two people very busy to draw your…”

“Please no, this is really embarrassing”, Bucky face palms himself.

“You should wait for her to come back; I think she has something to ask you. I told her that you were my best friend and that I can introduce you to her.”

“Please don’t tell me she wanna draw my wienie”, Bucky whines.

“Who wants to draw your wienie ?”, a beautiful brunette says, entering the room, making a beeline to Steve before kissing his lips.

“A new girl, very good artist, and I really don’t think she wants to draw his wienie”, Steve explains.

Steve tells Peggy about Y/N and her skills, saying he hoped that she would be okay to show her work to them. Y/N finally comes back in the room. Steve introduces her to Peggy and Bucky.

“Do you think you can show us your work ? If you want to of course.”

“Yes, sure, after all this is an art class and you are the model”, Y/N says, motioning to Bucky.

She opens her sketchbook again, revealing a few previous drawings before she finally found the one of Bucky she made barely an hour ago.

“This is really amazing”, Peggy whispers, as she’s afraid of saying this out loud.

Bucky looks at the drawing, speechless. He cannot believe how a drawing could look like him so much. It’s almost like he’s looking at himself in the mirror. Everything his perfect, every line, every freckle, his three days stumble, everything is there.

“May I ask you something ?”, Y/N questions, making Bucky getting out of his bubble.

“Yes, sure.”

“Would you accept to pose for me ? I mean not here but in private, I wanted to work on your eyes and it’s not possible in a room full of people. Of course, I will compensate you for your time.”

“I… I don’t know, it’s the first time I’m doing this, isn’t it unprofessional ?”, he asks Steve, turning to him.

“Not necessarily, you’re free to do what you want. You can pose for Y/N if you want to.”

“So yes, I’d love to”, Bucky says, turning to the young Y/H/C haired woman in front of him.

“Great”, she exclaims, “this is my phone number”, she adds, handing him a little piece of paper with her phone number.

And then, a week later, Bucky finds himself in a tiny apartment, under the rooftop. It’s a very small place but Y/N managed to make it her home. She even have sort of a balcony.

“Please make yourself comfortable”, she says from the kitchenette, “I’m coming as soon as the tea is ready.”

Bucky looks at the room, it’s a medium open space. In a corner, there is Y/N’s bed, a pile of book at its feet, not far from it, her desk, with a laptop and a few pictures of her friends and family, he supposes. In the middle of the room, there’s a couch and a tiny red table facing a small television. In the opposite corner of the bed, there’s an easel, a stool, a tiny chest of drawers and drawing material. A ginger cat walks along the window’s low wall before scratching the pane.

“Oh, that’s my cat, Oliver, can you open the window for him please ?”, Y/N asks Bucky.

Bucky nods and lets the cat in. Oliver rises his head towards Bucky, smells his hand and purrs when Bucky scratches him behind his hears.

“Here we are”, Y/N says, coming back in the room, carrying a tray with two mugs, a tea pot, different flavors of tea, and chocolate biscuits, along with a bowl of milk for Oliver. “Please, serve yourself”, she adds, while putting down Oliver’s bowl.

They talk about everything and nothing, whilst drinking the tea when Bucky finally comes back to the main subject.

“So, tell me exactly why you want me to do for you ?”

“Well, as I told you, I’d like you to pose for me. See last week during Steve’s lesson, I draw your face and I had a problem for your eyes. I mean, the light changed so many times and your eyes color changed with it. I’d like to find the best light to do them justice. Your eyes are really unique.”

The next week, Bucky comes back at Y/N’s apartment, to find her painting on her balcony when he enters her home. A few minutes later, he finds himself sitting face to face with her, under the natural light. It takes a few hours for Y/N to make a new portrait of Bucky with the accurate eye color. But then, it became a habit for the two to have posing seances. First, she works on his eyes, then she moves to his nose, lips, chin, hair after a few seances. During it, they both start to know each other, the more time they spend together, the more they start to fall for one another.

Y/N decides after a few weeks that she’d like to move on to his body if he’s still okay to pose for her. Bucky agrees, without admitting yet that he loves spending time with her. And when Bucky poses half naked, Y/N notices what she didn’t during Steve’s class, Bucky’s broad shoulders, his perfect abs, his strong arms, his beautiful hands. Oh, his hands, Y/N starts to think about what they would feel on her body if he used them on her. Oh jeez, she thinks, I start to have sinful thoughts, this is really no good.

One evening, after a long day of posing, Bucky sits on one of the low walls of Y/N’s balcony, one of his legs hanging in the air, leaning his back on one of the walls. The days has been quite hot, and the evening is still warm. Y/N comes back from the kitchen with two beers, Bucky is partially turned away, Oliver on his lap. Y/N smiles at the sight, thinking that she could get used to this.

“Yes, you’re a cutie”, Bucky is patting the cat’s back. “You’re the best kitty in the world.”

“Don’t start this with him, he’s gonna beg for it the next time you’ll be here.”

“I don’t matter”, Bucky says, “I like this little fellow, after all, he accepted me here, he didn’t have to at first, he could have thought that I would still his pretty mom from him.”

Y/N blushes at Bucky’s word. She sits in front of him, handing him a beer. She mirrors his position on the wall while the sun is going down. In the sunset light, Bucky’s gaze is more intense than in any other light she has seen him before. Oliver jumps of Bucky’s leg when Y/N moves closer to him. Y/N turns her head to the setting sun, her left hand on her leg. Bucky looks at her, she’s glowing in the sunlight and Bucky finds her more beautiful than he did before. She was so adorable with those stains of paint. Bucky moves closer, he wants to kiss her so bad. He extends his hand to lace his fingers with Y/N’s one. Y/N turns her face back to Bucky, their gaze meeting. Bucky leans towards Y/N who meets him halfway. Their lips touch softly, Y/N slides a little closer, climbing on Bucky’s lap. Once there, she deepens the kiss, sliding her fingers into Bucky’s hair. After a few minutes, she pulls away, catching her breath, her forehead against his.

“What about now ?”, Bucky asks.

Y/N doesn’t answer, she just gets up and grabs Bucky’s hand to lead him to her bed.

The next morning, Bucky wakes up nuzzling Y/N’s hair, her bare back to his bare chest. He props his head on his elbow, looking at her peacefully sleeping, silently thanking Steve for the model job.

Taglist : 

@the-geeky-engineer, @feelmyroarrrr, @bakugou–katsukii, @hellomissmabel, @mandy19875, @howlingbarnes, @belleetlabeast, @theashhole, @sebbytrash, @crazychick010, @bionic-buckyb, @callamint, @just-another-fangirl777, @learisa, @hello-sweetie-get-the-salt, @mokacoconut, @marvelbase001-blog, @thefiregypsy, @snowyseba, @theycallmebucky, @buckysberrie, @speakcroissant, @fangirlwithasweettooth, @tequilavet, @iamwarrenspeace, @melconnor2007, @buckybarnesappreciationsociety, @mrshopkirk, @poealsobucky, @maiden-of-gondor, @jurassicbarnes, @abovethesmokestacks, @thisismysecrethappyplace, @arawynn, @sebbys-girl, @captainrogerss, @murdocksmartinis, @supersoldierslover, @totallynotashieldagent​, @crazy-little-thing-called-buck​, @4theluvofall​, @supernaturaldean67​, @prettyyoungtragedy​, @papi-chulo-bucky​, @just-a-kj-blog​, @lenavonschweetz​,  @forever-graphically-frozen​,  @buckysglow​, @winterscldicr​, @whothehellisbella​, @bethanystan​, @asirenscalling​, @after-avenging-hours​, @winchester-with-wings​, @angryschnauzer​,  @callingmrsbarnes​, @suz-123​, @writingruna​, @sugardaddytonystark​, @angelicthor​, @thatawkwardtinyperson​, @themistsofmyavalon​, @redgillan​, @loricameback​, @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​, @farfromjustordinary​, @you-and-buckyb​, @bucky-made-me-do-it​, @lovelykhaleesiii​, @newmooneyfanfiction​, @lovely-geek​, @fanfictionjunkie1112​, @thefanficfaerie​, @littlemarvelfics​, @cordytriestowrite​, @firefly-in-darkness​, @caplanreads​, @my-emotional-self​, @imaginingbarnes​, @searchingforbuckyfavs​, 

[thewitchandtheassassin]

The Color Green (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Prompt: hi there! i real/love all ur works they’re so good!! can i jealous/possessive natasha? take ur time nw!!

Words: 2305

Warnings: Jealousy

A/N: This turned out differently than you probably imagined, anon, but this is what happened. I hope you like it. It’s more jealousy than possessiveness but there is a brief moment of it.

-X-

Strolling confidently through the halls of the Compound, you found the team scattered about the kitchen. Pietro and Wanda were sitting at the counter while your girlfriend was standing in front of the toaster. Sam and Bucky were on a mission so they were absent and you had no idea where Tony or Steve were but you didn’t think too much of it.

They would show up eventually for breakfast.

Stopping beside her, you pressed a kiss to her cheek, sighing internally when she flinched away from the contact.

You didn’t understand Natasha. Sometimes she was so sweet, accepting your love without question while other times she acted cold and uncaring. You hated those days; all you wanted was for your girlfriend to act like your relationship meant something to her – that you meant something.

Was that too much to ask for?

You turned your attention to the twins, watching Pietro devour his food like it was his last meal. You wondered how he never choked. Wanda was staring at you with a sympathetic smile, her eyes full of worry as she took in the slump of your shoulders. She was your best friend; she knew how much Natasha’s attitude bothered you.

Heavy footsteps echoed up the stairs and you glanced over, catching sight of an exceptionally beautiful woman with short hair and a cocky smile trailing behind Steve. She wasn’t exactly your type but if you were single, you probably wouldn’t say no either. Her gaze lingered on you and you couldn’t stop the blush blooming on your cheeks.

You were completely oblivious to Natasha bristling beside you.

“Team, this is Carol Danvers,” Steve announced, stepping aside so the woman could stand beside him.

You pursed your lips thoughtfully. You were fairly certain you’d heard that name before. Why did you know that name?

“She’s a friend of Fury’s,” Steve explained.

Realization rushed over you and you blurted out excitedly, “Captain Marvel.” Everyone’s eyes fell upon you and you smiled sheepishly. “Fury has told me stories about you. You guys worked together back in the 90’s, fighting the Kree.”

Carol grinned, walking over to you and offering her hand. “That’s me. It’s nice to meet you…”

“(Y/N),” you supplied, shaking the extended appendage briefly.

“Oh, Rogers was just telling me about you. I’ve heard you’re the strongest Avenger,” she praised, earning another blush.

You were a former HYDRA experiment that the Avengers had rescued some time ago. Your strength was legendary in the SHIELD Compound. The only person who might be stronger than you was the Hulk, but you’d never tested to see if that were true. You didn’t feel like fighting such a beast. It would only end badly.

“I…” you didn’t know what to say.

“We should train together sometime. I’d love to see what you can do,” Carol said, unfazed by your lack of response.

You nodded, a little starstruck by the notion of training with the Captain Marvel. Fury had told you about her one day when he was feeling a little sentimental and you couldn’t help but be in awe of her. She sounded amazing and to train with someone so powerful…

Well, you couldn’t wait.

Natasha inched closer, a tadbit aggravated by the instant connection you seemed to have with this newcomer. You were almost fawning over Carol and that bothered Natasha more than she cared to admit. She knew she wasn’t always the best girlfriend but she did her best. It was hard forgetting the lessons the Red Room had instilled in her.

She had a feeling she was not going to like this stranger.

Not one bit.

-X-

A few days later, you found yourself in the training room Captain Marvel herself. You were dressed in shorts and a tank top; you were prepared for battle. Carol wore a similar outfit, though her shirt clung to her abdomen, leaving her abs on full display beneath the material. You didn’t know it but it was intentional. Carol liked you – she too thought there was a connection – so she wanted you to be impressed by her physique.

Bouncing on the balls of your feet, you brought your fists up and steeled yourself. Carol eyed you, searching for an opening. Steve had sung you nothing but praises when it came to fighting. She was curious to see what happened.

“Ready?” Carol wondered as she mimicked your stance.

“Bring it on,” you taunted teasingly, rushing at the blonde.

The two of you clashed, fists flying as you attempted to knock her on her butt. She swung her arm at you and you caught it mid-swing, your strength coming in handy as you brought her up and over your shoulder, dropping her onto the mat. You mentally cheered though your face remained impassive. You attempted to help her up, but she easily wrapped her legs around you and dragged you down, straddling your waist.

You laughed, staring up at Carol. “That’s cheating.”

“Never underestimate your opponent,” she warned, getting off your hips and helping you stand.

Nodding, you brushed off your shirt. “I know. Nat tells me that all the time.”

Carol’s brow arched. She’d seen you coming out of the other woman’s room in the mornings but she hadn’t thought much of it. During the day you hardly acted like a couple so she had assumed you were just friends. She wondered if there was more to it than that.

“Ready to go again?” Carol inquired, falling back into her stance.

“Absolutely,” you agreed, lunging at Carol.

What you didn’t know was that Natasha was lingering in the doorway, staring intently at you as you trained with the former Kree. She was disheartened. You were never that free when you fought with her. She knew it was because your strength scared you when it came to her but she wished you wouldn’t hold back so much with her. Ironic, right?

Watching you knock into each other, Natasha sighed. Jealousy wasn’t something she’d experienced before. She knew you cared about her but it was difficult to see you this way with another person.

Actually, she hated it.

Rage bubbled up in her chest when Carol managed to knock you down and straddle you again, her face dangerously close to yours. She looked at you like she wanted to devour you and it drove Natasha crazy. Natasha thought you were gorgeous but apparently so did Carol.

Natasha left the room, her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed. What made all of this worse was how oblivious you were to Carol’s advances. Because you only had eyes for Natasha, you never paid attention when someone hit on you. You just assumed they were being nice, often forgetting that people might find you attractive.

Growling, Natasha stormed through the Compound. She had to do something. She didn’t know what, but something needed to change.

-X-

Tony’s form of welcoming Carol to the team was throwing an extravagant party at the Tower. Sure, it no longer housed the Avengers but it was far nicer than the Compound so here you were, dressed in one of your nicest outfits, chatting with your friends. Bucky had returned home from his mission with Sam so you found yourself in a deep conversation with him discussing what they’d found at the former HYDRA base.

Bucky was a good friend, second only to Wanda. He was a sweetheart despite what had happened. He was a calm voice of reason when the others fought and he was genuinely a good man. You were the only person who knew about his crush on Steve and you felt bad for him. Steve – as far as you knew – was straight and it broke your heart that Bucky wouldn’t get his happy ending with him.

He’d been through enough.

He caught sight of Steve and excused himself. You weren’t alone for long though. Carol was quick to join you.

“What’s a beautiful woman like you doing all by yourself?” Carol jokingly flirted, glancing over your shoulder to stare at Natasha.

Natasha was in a sleek red dress that clung divinely to her lithe body. You’d practically drooled when you’d seen her earlier but you hadn’t gotten much time with her. Maria had dragged her away the moment you’d stepped into the party and hadn’t let her go since.

She was watching you with a look of thunder marring her features. She seemed beyond pissed and it confirmed what Carol had suspected. Apparently you were coupled with the redhead and while Carol would bow out gracefully, she was still going to tease the woman a little. She needed to get over whatever trepidations she had. You were wonderful and if Natasha couldn’t learn to show you that, then she didn’t deserve you – at least in Carol’s opinion.

You shoved Carol playfully, shaking your head. “That was a terrible line,” you laughed.

Carol shrugged. “It hasn’t failed me yet.”

“Well, it just did,” you grinned, strolling over to the bar with Carol behind you. You had no idea that her gaze was lingering on your backside, earning a scowl from Natasha.

Ordering a drink, your attention fell upon the woman again. “So, how are you enjoying Earth?”

“It’s nice,” Carol replied diplomatically, earning a giggle.

“You sound so impressed,” you smirked.

“It’s…different,” Carol admitted with a lift of her shoulders. “My life on Hala was a lot different from this. And I’ve traveled to so many worlds that it’s almost bizarre to be settling down. I’ll still help other planets but to call Earth home is strange.”

Nodding sympathetically, your hand fell to Carol’s arm. “It’ll get easier and if you need someone to talk to, I’m always here.”

Carol patted your hand gratefully, smiling at you. “Thank you, (Y/N).”

The two of you stood in silence for a moment before a hand found yours atop the bar. Glancing over your shoulder in surprise, you found emerald eyes staring back at you. “Nat,” you greeted with a sweet smile. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything is fine,” Natasha replied, glaring at Carol. “I was just wondering if I could steal my girlfriend away for a dance.”

You were a bit shocked. You’d only danced with Natasha a handful of times and they’d all been in the sanctity of one of your rooms – Natasha found it too personal to dance in front of others – so you didn’t know what to say. Nodding dumbly, you twisted your hand over beneath hers and linked your fingers. You shot Carol a parting smile.

Carol nodded in concession at Natasha and the weight in the woman’s chest began to dissipate. She returned the gesture and led you out onto the floor, sweeping you up in her arms. You swayed together, your arms around her neck as you grinned at her.

“We’re dancing,” you whispered, acting as though it were some big secret.

Shaking her head at your antics, Natasha buried her face in your neck, causing your arms to fall to her waist. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled against the skin residing there.

Brows furrowing in confusion, you continued to dance with your lover. “Why?”

“…I was jealous,” Natasha admitted softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your throat. “Of Carol.”

You leaned back, gazing into hypnotic emerald eyes. She looked so apologetic but you could see the underlying vulnerability staring back at you. “Baby, you have no reason to be jealous. There’s no one I’d rather be with,” you assured her, cupping her cheek. “I love you and only you. Carol’s just a friend.”

Natasha’s smile was watery. “Ya liublyoo tibya. And in my heart I know that, but I was scared,” she whispered.

Sighing, you leaned in and pecked her lips, startled when Natasha deepened the embrace. She’d never kissed you like this before, every emotion she felt poured into it. It was soft, but you could taste residual fear on her tongue. It was obvious that she was trying to reassure herself but you didn’t mind. You’d happily kiss her for as long as she wanted.

“You know she wanted to be more than friends, right?” Natasha asked as her lips left yours with a quiet pop.

Eyes widening, you glanced over your shoulder at Carol. The blonde waved, a cheeky grin splitting her cheeks. “You’re joking.”

Natasha laughed, kissing your reddening cheek. “You’re so cute, my oblivious malysh.”

“You’re serious?” you squeaked, your eyes falling back on Natasha. You couldn’t believe it. You’d thought Carol was just being nice. Had she liked you?

Walking you over to the bar, her arm firm around your waist, she locked eyes with Carol, waiting to see what the other woman had to say.

“You make a cute couple,” Carol acquiesced, lifting her drink in surrender. She could see the love shining in both your eyes and she was happy for you. Truly.

Natasha’s stiffened spine relaxed and she smiled at Carol for the first time. “Thank you.”

“No offense to Tony but this really isn’t my scene so I think I’m going to head out,” Carol announced, finishing the beer in her hand.

“It’s not really ours either,” you admitted, leaning into Natasha. “You going back to the Compound?”

“Probably,” Carol shrugged. “I don’t really know New York that well so…”

Natasha hesitated for a moment before offering, “We know a pizza place that’s open all night if you’d like to join us?”

Carol studied Natasha, trying to see if her offer was genuine. When she was satisfied that it was, she nodded appreciatively. “That’d be nice.”

“C’mon,” you said, locking arms with both Natasha and Carol, “We keep spare clothes in our old rooms for after parties like this. You can change out of your fancy clothes and into something more comfortable.”

Smiling, Carol followed you without hesitation.

She was going to enjoy Earth.

[sinner-as-saint]

Ocean Eyes

Post Endgame Steve Rogers Fic.

Requested by anon: “I was wondering if you could possibly write something about where the reader was Tony’s daughter, from a one night stand before he was iron man, and is dating Steve, so when Tony passes in Endgame she uses sex with Steve as a way to help her grieve?”

Themes: Smut, angst, feels, language, a little bit of soft Bucky

A/n: Let’s pretend Steve didn’t go back to return the stones right away. I mean he does eventually, but just not right after the funeral. Enjoy loves! And do let me know what you think, i love hearing feedback! 

    You sat in the living area of the new home your dad left you in his will, not far from the Avengers’ compound. A cup of strong, black coffee in your hand and your laptop on your lap, you just scrolled through the countless number of emails and fan art you were receiving or being tagged in – the world was mourning for your father like they should for the hero he was. While Morgan sat next to you, munching messily on her second mini cheeseburger of the night. She reminded you so much of your dad it was crazy.

You were Y/n Stark, daughter of Tony Stark. You never knew who your mother was, and your dad didn’t know either. All you could put together was that you were conceived during Tony Stark’s playboy days; years before he became Iron Man. And what you dad told you was that one day long time ago, a man showed up on his doorstep with a baby and a handwritten letter. And the unknown man left both you and the letter in his hands before going away without a word.

Upon reading the letter, Tony figured that you were his daughter. You were 10 months old at the time. And ever since then, you had the best dad anyone could ask for.

Time passed and your dad almost died, was kidnapped and eventually became Earth’s best defender; Iron Man and you couldn’t be happier when he first introduced you to the Avengers. Your relationship with Pepper was awesome too. Your dad was your best friend, and losing him was your worst nightmare. A nightmare which came true.

You went to every single mission with your dad; despite his over protectiveness. And you fought alongside your father every single time, until the Civil War between him and Cap.

You both had a huge argument when he found out that you were siding with Steve. He said things he didn’t mean and you did too. And after finding out the whole story, you didn’t want to choose sides anymore, so you disappeared. For years nobody knew where you went; your dad was losing his mind and then Thanos happened.

You somehow showed up in Wakanda while your dad was on Titan. Long story short, you thought you had lost him in the snap, but then he came home.

Your dad decided that he wanted to marry Pepper finally and settle down somewhere far from the superhero life. And you were happy for him truly. They had a simple wedding, and then they had a daughter, Morgan.

You lost people in the snap, and for 5 years you all tried to move on.

During those five years, you lived with the Avengers, well what was left of them. You helped Nat through it all and you somehow grew closer to Steve more than anyone else. And before you knew it, you were starting to catch feelings for the super soldier.

After the last battle, when you saw your father die right in front of you, you were completely broken. You were still in denial at his funeral. In his prerecorded message for all of you, he mentioned that he was leaving you, Morgan, Peter and Harley everything he had, including a lavish, smart home built just for each one of you. Morgan lived with Pepper, while you lived alone in your spacious home. And it got lonely sometimes, but the team kept visiting. Peter would come by sometimes, Sam and Bucky would too. Steve was somehow always away but he visited whenever he could.

The team were still debating over who would actually go to place all the stones back. You offered to go, but a loud echo of ‘No!’ from many people, including Happy and Rhodey, shot back at you when you did propose that idea during a recent meeting. Being Tony Stark’s daughter, it was a habit for them, instilled by Tony himself, to be protective over you.

 Morgan’s voice dragged you back to reality from the flashback you were having.

 “Can I please have another one, Y/n?” she asked, giving you the best puppy eyes ever. She had your dad’s eyes and whenever you looked into them, you knew that he was with you in another form.

“Nice try Morgoona, but mom is gonna kill us both if she ever found out that I’m your cheeseburger dealer. Also, she’s on her way to pick you up, she’s done with work. You can have cheeseburgers tomorrow baby, for now, let’s wipe your face,” you were babysitting Morgan while Pepper was caught up with work and meetings all day.

 An hour later, Pep came over to pick Morgan up asked you if you wanted to join them for dinner. You politely refused because you still needed time to recover before going back to the lake house which was filled with your dad’s memories.

It was around 10 p.m. and you were just lounging in the living area with a book when your phone buzzed on the coffee table not far from you.

It was a message from Steve.

1 new message from Captain Dorito: Can I come over? Need to talk.

 It simply said, yet the seven little words made your heart pound inside your chest. You and Steve were an on and off couple. Yeah you had sex multiple times in the past, but since you lost your father and since Bucky came back, you both had been a bit distant from one another; taking time to heal and catch up with the ones you had lost.

His text was short and simple, but your tried your hardest to read between the words, and when you couldn’t figure anything out – you texted him a simple ‘yeah’ and paced around in your living room until you heard the roar of his car’s engine coming through your property’s gate.

Just a few moments later, the AI your father had created and installed in your house spoke up.

“Captain Rogers is at the door, Y/n.” it simply said. And you let out a loud breath.

“Let him in, Mr. J,” you replied back. He was named after Jarvis, because he was your favorite AI that your dad ever made. You wanted to name yours Jarvis Junior but then settled on Mr. J because it was cooler.

 You were on the first floor so it took him a few seconds to come in the room which you were in and those few seconds felt like an eternity. Then you finally saw him, after days.

He walked in your living room, carefully shaved, his soft, signature smile on and wearing a long sleeved, tight, navy blue shirt which accentuated his defined abs and his biceps. The sight of him alone made your heart go crazy in a really good way.

 “Hey Y/n,” he simply said, greeting you with his muscular arms wide open; hoping for a much needed hug.

Perhaps it was the fact that you hadn’t seen each other in quite a while. Perhaps it was because you missed him. Or perhaps it was because you were tired of being alone and acting so strong for Morgan, Peter, Pepper, and Rhodey and basically everyone else that you needed a shoulder to cry on as well. Either way, you ran into his arms and wrapped your limbs around him, a few tears falling down your cheeks in the process and landed on his shirt.

But he didn’t mind, he just wanted to hold you and let you know that it was okay and that he was here.

You jumped in his arms and wrapped your legs around his lean waist, while his strong arms pressed your body against his even more.

The faint scent of his cologne calmed you down. The comfort in his smile reminded you that you were home, safe. His arms around your body made you feel protected and that no harm would ever fall on you.

 “You’re here finally. What happened, bored of everyone already?” you asked, sniffling and he chuckled, rocking you slightly before placing you back on your feet.

You looked up at him, still in his embrace as his hands settled on both sides of your waist. Your e/c eyes bore into his ocean blue ones.

They held an incomparable depth. They weren’t just blue eyes, they were the kind that reminded you of the azure sea on a bright day. They reminded you of a dim ray of light passing through the rarest of blue diamonds. They shone like blue fire; burning along the rims of his black pupil. They reminded you of home.

“You’re not an option that I turn to when I’m bored, Y/n, I’ve told you many times before. You needed time to heal, but then I thought that you might need some company. I mean, you haven’t left this house in a whole week. Did you eat today?” he asked in his ‘Captain’ voice.

You sighed and smiled at his concern.

“Yeah I had cheeseburgers with Morgan,” you replied and from the look on his face, you could tell he was done.

“You Stark girls and your cheeseburgers! Want me to make you dinner, a proper dinner. Not just lumps of cheese and unhealthy processed meat which h-,”

“Jesus Steve! You sound like the old man you are! I’m fine, I just…miss you. A lot,” you laughed and stood on your tip toes to rub your nose against his.

Your lips brushed against his in the process and you caught the sharp intake of air he took.

His grip on your waist tightened and he smiled, placing his forehead against yours.

“I miss you too, a lot,” he whispered and his hot breath fanned your face.

 Your hand held the back of his head as you pulled him down slightly so you could kiss him properly. His lips met yours for a slow kiss and both your mouth moved in perfect harmony.

The kiss quickly turned into one which was needy and passionate and it sent tingles all over your body. Your other hand held his face gently as his tongue slipped into your mouth. His taste drove you crazy. Your body burned with desire wherever his skin made contact with yours. And soon, it felt way to warm to still have your clothes on. So you got rid of them.

“Mr. J, shut down on the first floor, please. Thanks,” you quickly told the AI and as a response, you got two beeps – signaling that Mr. J was no longer recording audio nor visuals of the occurrence of the floor which you were in.

You briefly broke contact with your super soldier to take off your top while he pulled down your shorts and left them at your feet; leaving you only in your matching set of dark burgundy cotton underwear. He kissed his way up from your thighs until he reached your collar bones. He bit, kissed and marked your skin until he finally found his way to your sweet spot.

He mercilessly assaulted the skin just underneath your jaw with his mouth till you placed the palm of your hand underneath his tight shirt and over his abs.

“Take it off,” you spoke in your authoritative voice and he obeyed immediately.

“Yes ma’am,” he teased and took off his shirt in an agonizingly slow pace, followed by his pants; leaving him only in his black briefs which did nothing to hide his very prominent hard on.

Meanwhile, you made yourself quite comfortable on the nearby couch, watching him strip just for you; leaning backwards till your back hit the multiple soft cushions while you parted your legs slightly, just to invite him in but not give him the full show just yet.

A devilish smirk cast itself upon his handsome face when he saw you in the position, on that couch. And he knew exactly what you wanted.

He slightly pushed the nearby coffee table aside with ease and knelt in front of you. The palms of his hands on either of your knees as he pulled your legs further apart slowly. Your breathing grew faster as he maintained eye contact while hooking a finger on the side of your underwear and pulled it down lazily.

Your lust got the best of you and you hurried to unclasp your bra and let it fall by your side. You had been intimate with the soldier many times now, and being naked in front of him had never been an issue.

Upon seeing your delicate swells, his eyes got darker as his desire rushed through his body faster than before. His heartbeat increased just by seeing how beautiful you looked; naked in front of him, waiting patiently for him to take his time on you.

 “You are so beautiful, baby,” he whispered against your inner thighs as his lips grazed the soft skin leisurely.

Your core was dripping and you knew he could see it because it was literally flowing out of your folds at this point. Your entrance was throbbing; awaiting desperately for his attention and his touch. Steve knew what you wanted, but he enjoyed teasing the living shit out of you.

He licked a thick stripe from your thigh to your hip bone, and kissed his way across your abdomen to reach the other side of your hip, all while carefully avoiding the spot where you wanted him the most.

You groaned out of frustration.

“Steve!” you mumbled, grabbing a handful of his hair and tugging on it gently.

He smirked against your skin and placed one last kiss right under your belly button before lifting his head up to meet your glossy eyes looking down at him.

“Yes? Want anything?” he asked nonchalantly as he rubbed his hands up and down your legs. His touch sent shivers right down your spine and despite the decent room temperature, you got chills.

You wanted him. All of him. He was your escape. Steve was what you needed to forget about everything for a short while. It seemed selfish, but it felt right.

“Yes, please just- touch me, Captain, please,” you whined in desperation and his eyebrows shot up while his smirk got bigger at the name used at him. He liked it.

His hands wrapped around your thighs as he pulled you closer to him slightly; your bare, dripping core much closer to his face now and when he spoke, his breath fanned against your wet folds and caused an intense sensation right on top of your throbbing core.

“Where does my girl want me? Right here?” he asked and before you could give him a proper answer, he slipped his tongue between your slippery folds and the warmth of his mouth dragged a loud moan out of you.

“Fuck! Right there Steve,” you moaned and held his head right above your heat, tugging on his scalp slightly as both your fists were tangled in his hair.

His tongue worked on your entrance, slipping in and out of your folds and occasionally circling your bundle of nerves and sucking harshly on it – driving you crazy with just his tongue.

Somehow, while he was at it, he slipped two fingers into your tight entrance and curled them upwards while he lazily stroked them in and out of you. And a rather vulgar moan slipped out of your mouth.

While he pumped his fingers in and out of you, his tongue flicked over your clit speedily while occasionally bringing his mouth over it to suck on it gently.

He worshiped your body with all his might, and soon, you came undone all over his mouth and his skilled fingers. Your body was squirming under him as the waves of euphoria washed over you, and your desire flowed out of you drop by drop as he removed his fingers from the tight, circular entrance of your core.

He didn’t waste any time in bringing his tongue back to your dripping heat once again, relishing whatever you had to offer him. His nose grazed your carefully trimmed bush and you could see your cum dripping down his chin. The sight was filthy, and you liked it.

His tongue brushed over your most sensitive spots and your body was shaking under his touch, and that didn’t stop him. He licked you clean and then stood up to look down at you.

 “You always taste so damn good,” he whispered, stroking your hair gently with his hand as he stood in front of you, a thin layer of sweat all over his muscular abdomen and his broad chest.

 His hard on looked so prominent that it looked like it must be painful at this point.

You took your bottom lip between your teeth as you waited for his next command.

 “You’re gonna be a good girl and suck my cock now, aren’t you, babygirl? You’re gonna wrap your pretty mouth around me, yeah? Well, then get to work baby,” he whispered huskily and you didn’t waste another second.

You hurried and pulled down his black briefs, which pooled at his ankles and he carefully stepped out of them as you wrapped your hand around his thick length and pumped it a couple of times before taking just the tip into your mouth, knowing how much that got him to the edge.

“Fuck! Your mouth feels – holy fuck!” he moaned as you caught him off guard and toyed with his balls.

Your mouth wrapped around his leaking tip and your tongue twirled around it, dragging a few cuss words out of his oh so righteous and pure mouth.

To the world, Steve Rogers was a good, honest and saintly man. But here, naked with you, the feral and rawness in him came out and you liked knowing that you had the power to bring this wild side out of the noble, out of time, hero.

The cuss words flowed out of his mouth like a chant as your tongue brushed over the slit of his length before taking all of him into your mouth. You allowed him to slide inside your mouth until he hit the back of your throat.

You bounced your head as your mouth milked his length perfectly. His one hand held a grip in your hair while the other held your jaw possessively while you maintained eye contact with him.

His perfect face had a pleasant frown upon it as you moved your mouth around him, tracing each bump and each bulging vein with your tongue. His taste drove you wild, and soon, his grip tugged at your hair harder and he bucked his hips against your mouth, sliding his length in and out of your mouth faster than before. That signaled that he was close so coming undone.

You hollowed your cheeks and sucked on his hard length slightly, a hiss slipping out of his pink lips as you noticed that his muscles tensed and soon, you felt his load shoot the back of your throat.

His raw, salty taste fueled your lust for him.

His semi hard length slowly slipped out of your mouth as his eyes rolled back and he leaned his head back a little, breathing heavily with his mouth slightly parted as his orgasm washed through him as well. A few droplets of sweat trickled down his chest and he looked magnificent, his damp skin shining in the dim evening light of your living room.

The sight of him riding the waves of pleasure was something you couldn’t get used to no matter how many times you saw it before. He looked ethereal.

 His heavy breathing ceased slightly as his grip on your jaw tightened. He bent down and brought his own face closer to yours.

His warm cum smudged slightly on the side of your mouth and the sight of having his cum messily all over your mouth drove the man insane.

He gripped your jaw and lifted your face up to line up with his. His grip on your jaw caused your mouth to part just the slightest.

“Look at you, all messy and wet with my cum all over your mouth. You’re mine, you get that? All mine,” he growled and spat in your mouth before quickly covering your mouth with his warm one.

The kiss was ferocious, animalistic and passionate. You could feel his lust for you in the kiss, his teeth clashed against yours and his lips made it their mission to bruise yours. The kiss hurt, but the passion and lust hidden in it minimized the pain.

His hands traveled everywhere all over your body. He pulled you up so you were standing as well, and slapped your thighs lightly. You took that as your cue to jump and wrap your legs around his waist once again.

He carefully walked the two of you to your bedroom, all while kissing the living shit out of you.

You briefly broke the kiss once he laid you down on your cool, satin sheets. He stood back, looked at you and smirked.

 Oh, you knew that smile.

 “Condoms on the t-,”

“The top drawer, yeah I know,” he smirked, finishing your sentence as he quickly opened the drawer, took one out, ripped the wrapping, took it out and handed it to you.

“Wanna do the honors?” he teased as you sat up and took the thin, transparent condom out of his hand and slipped it carefully onto his length.

You gave the glistening tip a quick peck and he growled again, making you smirk this time.

 “Hurry up, Captain. I need you to fuck me, now!” you demanded and he was quick to follow your orders.

He pushed you back on the bed and wrapped his mouth around your nipple, while his hand toyed with the other one. His lips and fingers pinching and biting down on the soft buds gently.

He kissed his way down from the valley of your boobs, around your belly button, until he reached your core.

He rubbed his tip against your clit and you moaned out loud. He was barely in you and you were already so stimulated.

He applied just the slightest of pressure and rubbed his tip up and down your wet folds, earning another loud, obscene moan out of you followed by a chant of cuss words.

 He smirked again.

 “I love how your body responds to my touch babe,” he whispered quickly before slipping his length inside of you without another warning.

You took deep breaths as your entrance adjusted to his size. Again, no matter how many times you’ve been intimate with him, his size was definitely something which you couldn’t just get used to.

 “Tell me if I hurt you, babygirl. Tell me if you want me to s-,”

“God! Just fuck me Rogers!” you playfully slap his chiseled face and his smirk grew wider.

His body hovered over yours as he supported himself up with his elbows, placed on either side of your head.

He moved his hips just the slightest and you felt his length stretch you to your maximum.

 “Fuck, baby! You’re so fucking tight, shit!” you heard his groan under his breath as his lips found their way to your neck, kissing and biting the skin like he owned it.

 Hearing him swear was always a turn on for you, and as your heard his vulgar words, your core got wetter and wetter – lubricating and easing his way as he rocked in and out of you.

He started slow, and when he realized that you had gotten used to his size – he sped up.

Sweat formed in between his eyebrows as he pounded into your heat. Your legs instinctively reached around his waist and you locked him in place.

One of his hands reached around your back as he lifted your back slightly off the bed sheets. The new angle allowed his length to stroke sensitive spots you didn’t know you had. Your wet walls clenched carefully around him and pumped him nicely.

His tip grazed your g-spot with almost every thrust and you were beginning you lose yourself in his embrace. Your head clouded with lust, passion and your love for him. And suddenly all that mattered in the world was the way your body connected with his in that moment. All you cared about was how he made you feel loved. All you could focus on was the filthy words which escaped his mouth.

 His hand left your back and flew to your clit. He rubbed the little nub furiously and soon, the sweet, all too familiar pressure began forming itself right at your heat. And you knew you couldn’t hold it in much longer.

 “Steve! Fuck, I’m so close, Captain. Can I cum, please?” you asked, unsure of whether you made any sense. And you heard him grunt and moan your name once again.

Hearing you calling him ‘Captain’ in bed was something which turned him on more than anything. And having you squirming underneath him, naked and at his mercy was a sight he would never forget.

“Hold on, baby. Just a little longer,” he whispered against your sweet spot and moved his mouth over yours once again, drinking in all the moans and cuss words which left your lips as he fucked you into oblivion. Your tight entrance applied just the right amount of pressure around his shaft and it was hard even for the super soldier to hold back his release.

 His kissed you and you moaned into his mouth and soon, his thrust started getting more and more irregular. You knew he was close and suddenly you couldn’t keep it in anymore. The pressure building at your core became too much to hold back, so you let go. And you came undone around him.

“Fuck! Captain!,” was all you could say as you moaned out loud.

Your heartbeat rand in your ears as your back arched off the bed and your chest pressed against his. The feeling of your bare body against his was what brought about his intense orgasm.

He moaned out loud and felt his warm seed fill the condom. His heart rate increased as well, and your ragged breath against his cheek was the only thing he could focus on.

His length went limp inside you and he carefully slipped it out.

He removed the condom off, tied it and threw it somewhere on the ground; it being the last thing he cared about right now. His body fell on top of yours, yet he was careful as to not apply all of his body weight on top of yours because given that you were not enhanced in anyway – it would definitely crush you.

 You wrapped your limbs around him once again as he moved to lay right next to you on the bed.

“I’ve always liked this bed, you know. And having you in it with me is just, heaven on Earth,” he whispered, kissing your sweaty forehead as he held you close.

 You chuckled at his absolutely random confession.

You calmed you heartbeat and breathing before replying.

 “I love you, Steve. Anywhere is heaven on Earth when I’m with you,” you confessed and placed a kiss on his chest before laying your head on top of it.

He laughed and placed a kiss on top of your hair, while stroking it gently.

It was true, this was your true definition of happiness. Here, with him in your bed; both of you tired and worn out from making love, limbs tangled with one another, the smell of sex in the air as you both tried to calm your racing hearts.

This was how you intended to spend the rest of your life, with him.

 However, you couldn’t help but hear the faint whisper of your conscience asking you if he wanted the same.

Was this what he wanted as well? Did he envision his forever being with you?

 You tried your hardest to silence the faint voice down.

 “Hey, earlier in your text you said you needed to talk. Is everything okay?” you asked, desperately wanting that the little voice would just shut up.

His charming smile faded instantly as soon as those words left your mouth.

“Steve? Is everything okay?” you asked again and he shifted from under you and laid on his side, facing you properly as his hand flew to your cheek, his knuckles gently caressing the soft skin.

 “We, uh, had another meeting today. Well, more like a heated discussion, if not an argument really. All of us, and Pepper was there too. I guess that’s why she was late to pick up Morgan, I don’t know. Look, what I-“

“You guys had a meeting without me? Why? Steve, I deserve to know what’s going on just like the rest of you do,” you couldn’t hide the hurt in your voice. And he caught it.

 You sat up and pulled your blanket to cover your body from the chilly air coming from the AC.

Steve sighed and sat up too, getting under the covers with you.

You both leaned against the head board as Steve tried his best to answer to your queries.

 “I know. And you do, you have the complete right to be mad at all of us, but just know that it was my idea not to tell you,” he explained and you couldn’t help but feel unwanted.

 “Why?” was all you asked, your voice cracking in the process, and he sighed again before continuing.

 “I proposed something. And I didn’t need someone else to tell me what a horrible idea it was while none of you understood that this is the right way to do it,” his words confused you.

“Steve, I don’t understand, what I-,”

 “That stones. I’m gonna go return them, tomorrow. It’s high time now. How long are we gonna hold on to them and pretend that it’s too dangerous. We have to get them back to where they belong. Please, I was hoping that at least you would understand where I’m coming from,” he pleaded and you simply couldn’t ignore the lump in your throat.

You had all collectively agreed that it was a dangerous mission, with a crap ton of risks. And now, Steve was willing to risk it all.

 “But, can’t someone else go? We can’t risk you Cap,” you were on the verge of tears. And he pulled you into his lap and held you close; placing his forehead against yours.

 “And I can’t risk any of you while I sit here and wait. I have to be the one to do it. I’m the Captain, don’t forget that,” he further argued and the tears fell down your cheeks because you couldn’t hold them back anymore.

You were crying because you were afraid you would lose him, but also, because he was adamant; he was hell bent since day one about how he was the one who should go return the stones and ever since – you couldn’t help but feel as though this was more than him carrying out his ‘Captain’ duties. Somewhere, deep within your heart, you truly believed that he was trying to change something in his past. And that hurt you more than losing him.

 “What if you miss the timing? What if you get stuck somewhere, we’ll never know. What if you get stuck, out of time, again? What if y-,”

 “Shh, hey baby. I’ll be okay. I’ll be fine. I’ll come back to you, I will. I will come back to all of you. I promise you,” he pulled you in for a kiss and suddenly, for some weird reason, you felt like he was drifting far from you. But he was right there, in your arms, then why did it feel like he wasn’t?

 You reluctantly agreed.

“Fine. I, I love you okay. Come back to me, please,” you whispered against his lips.

He didn’t answer, but he did capture your lips in a lazy, deep kiss. His hands held you close to him and in that moment; you forgot everything.

And you were too busy to notice that he didn’t say anything when you confessed your love for him.

   Steve left after you both went for round 2, and cuddled for a while. You asked Mr. J to turn back on in the first floor and you went in your bathroom for a much needed bath.

While your body soaked in the tub, filled with peach scented oils and frothy bath bombs – you couldn’t stop the tears once again.

You thought about everything; your dad, your broken family and how alone you would be if it weren’t for Steve.

And while you were at it, you thought about Steve as well. What a story he had, of a super soldier trapped out of time in a world he didn’t quite fit in.

You thought about how scared he must have been when he woke up for the first time in 70 years, in the middle of a bustling city; out of time.

You thought about how heartbroken he must’ve felt when he realized that he had left his first love behind while he was stuck in this advanced world; out of time.

 Hot tears fell down your face as your racing thoughts didn’t stop.

 What if this isn’t what he wants?

Steve’s been trying so hard to fit in this fast paced world – one where he wasn’t supposed to be in the first place.

What if it was selfish of you to forcing him to stay here with you?

Maybe, you thought, you should just leave him the choice while the power would be in his hands tomorrow?

This, was never the life he chose. He’s trapped here. But what if he could change that, and live the life he wanted? What if he could really be with the one he once truly loved?

 Your heart broke hearing your own thoughts, but you knew you had to let him go. Your dad taught you better than to be selfish when it comes to love. And you were gonna do the right thing, tomorrow.

  -NEXT MORNING-

 Guess it’s safe to say that you woke up wiser. You knew just what to do.

After a quick breakfast, you drove straight to the compound and made your way inside once you parked your car.

 “And she finally left the house! I’m so happy you’re here, y/n!” Wanda gave you a long hug and you two casually talked for a while.

A few minutes later, Bruce walked in with Sam hot on his heels and it looked like they were arguing.

 “…but you’re sure that he’ll make it back in one single piece because dude, he’s Captain America and one single mistake on your part and the entire country is gonna kick your huge, green a- Y/N! Hey, you’re here too!” Sam pulled you in for a hug as well.

You chuckled and hugged him back tightly.

 “Hey birdie, missed me?” you asked and he just gave you one of his soft, caring smiles.

“Can’t lie, I did miss your annoying ass,” he answered and soon, Bruce picked you up from behind.

 “HEY! We missed you!” the gentle giant said and you tried your best not giggle as he tickled your sides.

“I missed you guys too. Is Steve here?” you asked and Sam quickly told you that he was upstairs getting his quantum suit on.

 You told the rest of the team that you’d be back in a minute as you rushed upstairs. You needed to talk to him urgently.

While on your way up, you bumped into a hard body.

“Shit! I’m so sorry,” you quickly apologized and looked up only to be met with a pair of crystal blue eyes.

Bucky placed his metal arm on your shoulder and gave it a little squeeze, smiling gently at you.

 “You okay, doll? You seem a little shaken up, you alright?” he asked and you nodded, unable to speak because you were mentally rehearsing the speech you were about to deliver to Steve.

“Okay, I’m here if you ever need to talk. See you around,” he said and made his way downstairs.

 You rushed through the corridor until you reached Steve’s room. You knocked and from inside came a muffled voice.

“Come in, Y/n,” was all it said and you pushed the door open and rushed inside.

“Hey Steve, uh, can we talk?” you asked.

“Sure, what’s wrong?” he asked, fixing his suit and securing the Pym particle on his side.

“I, I love you. Okay, I really do. You helped me when I couldn’t help myself. You, and the others, you got me out of my misery and you always knew how to cheer me up. Even when dad was gone, you were always there. You’re my best friend Steve, you’re my rock, and I love you. But…”

Your voice trailed off as you didn’t know how to word your emotions. You loved him, you really did – but holding on to him and asking him to stay would be selfish. And you couldn’t be selfish anymore, not when he had the chance to get his life, and his first love back. You wanted him to be happy, you wanted him to have the happy life he deserved. Even if it meant, not sharing the life with you.

“But? But what- hey are you okay? Y/n, please don’t cry, tell me what’s wrong babe, please,” he walked up to you and wrapped his arm around you while his other hand caressed your cheeks, wiping away your fallen tears in the process.

 You sniffled and thought, maybe you should just say it.

“I, uh, I think you should stay back. I think you should live your life, with Peggy, back in time,” you whispered and for just a split moment, his breathing stopped.

He didn’t say a word so you thought you should clarify things further.

“No one has to know, Steve. I know you don’t fit in here. I know you loved her, a lot. And in just a matter of time, you’ll have the power in your hands. The stones, you can use them and, maybe, stay behind and live the happy life you deserve. With her, she’s the love of your life after all,” you said, a few more tears falling down your cheeks.

These ones, he didn’t wipe away because he was unable to move as the words left your mouth.

 “Y/n… I, what? I can’t leave?” it sounded more like a question than a statement to you.

“You deserve it, Steve. I won’t say a word to anyone. I will always love and respect you as a person Steve. I value our friendship more than anything. All the time I spent with you, all those moments, they’ll always be special to me. But you deserve a happy life, Captain. One where you’re not out of time, one which you spend with the love of your life. You deserve that, Steve, you really do. As for us, we’ll manage, don’t worry,” you wiped your tears and hugged him tightly.

 “You are one of the best person I’ve ever met, y/n. I love you, I, I don’t know what to say,” he whispered against your hair.

You smiled.

 You were hurting, but realizing the true happiness he’ll receive once he goes back made everything better. You loved him, and you were gonna lose him, but somehow, it felt like it needed to happen.

  You both walked out of the room and the entire team was waiting for you outside. It was time for Steve to go, but the rest of the team had no idea; that he was actually going.

You could see the worry clear on Sam’s face, while Bucky was smiling faintly at you.

Wanda was nowhere to be seen, and Bruce was busy with the time machine. You both walked up to the machine and Steve stopped to give Sam and then Bucky a hug. The two super soldiers shared a hundred year old inside joke and you smiled looking at both of them.

When they pulled away from the hug, Bucky gave you a half smile, and a curious look. One which you couldn’t quite understand but you soon shook it off as Steve wrapped his arms around you once again.

“Thank you, y/n, for everything,” he whispered quietly in your ear.

You inhaled his faint cologne one last time and gave his body a tight hug.

“Thank you for everything, Steve. Now, go live your life Captain,” you whispered back in his ear and he pulled away smiling.

 Steve stepped on the time machine and smiled back at all of you.

“How long is it gonna take?” Sam asked Bruce. The worry in his tone was still very audible.

“For him, however long he needs. For us, ten seconds,” Bruce replied, going through everything one more time.

You stood right next to the machine and soon, Bucky was by your side.

“You did the right thing, y/n. It was a hard decision, but I’m glad you took the right one,” he whispered in your ear, and his words were unheard by both Sam and Bruce.

 You turned your head abruptly to face him but before you could say anything, Bruce spoke up.

“Going quantum in 3, 2, 1,” and while he spoke, Steve’s mask was on and the machine whirred loudly.

And within a nanosecond, Steve was gone. And your heart felt heavy again.

A couple of seconds passed and the worry on Sam’s face grew even more prominent.

“And back in 3, 2, 1,” Bruce said, flipping a switch or two.

 But nothing happened. Steve didn’t come back. He listened to you after all.

 While Sam and Bruce argued over what was happening, you felt a cold, metal hand against your cheek. It was Bucky, and you didn’t realize that he had held you close to him the whole time as you watched Steve leaving.

“Don’t cry doll, you did the right thing,” he whispered and you nodded.

“Thanks Buck, I know. He deserved it, he deserved a chance to live his life with the one he truly loves,” you spoke in a low voice and he hugged you tightly.

   ***

He left her lonely with a diamond mind And those ocean eyes

[wordywarriorwrites]

Chapter 20: Evermore

Masterlist: The Boss of Brooklyn  A03 Story Link Author: @wordywarriorwrites​ Summary: When it comes to being The Boss, James Buchanan “JB” Barnes rules with an iron fist. For him, there’s no room for sentiment, and certainly no time for distraction, even if it is in the form of an old flame. Steve Rogers had bowed out of the life a long time ago, but a twist of fate brings him right back into the fold, and face-to-face with a man he once loved. When a game of cat and mouse turns into a matter of life and death, both will be forced to decide whether they’ll be loyal to the business, or faithful to each other. A/N: Bucky Barnes Mob Boss AU. Stucky. For: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan Star’s Multi-Fandom Follower Celebration with the prompt, “Why did you do it?” & @sherrybaby14 Sherry’s Fall Into You Challenge with the prompt, “Show me. Prove that you can handle me.” Warnings: Language, violence, drug use, alcohol, smoking, explicit sexual content, illegal activities. *Re-blogs are welcome. Plagiarism isn’t. *

One Month Later…

The Tuileries and Carousel Gardens, adjacent to the Louvre, between the museum and the Place de la Concorde – that’s where Mason tried to convince Steve to meet him for the final time.

It was a very public and neutral spot, but there was nothing impersonal about the situation they’d found themselves in. Mason had explained the photographs and made recompense to Bucky, and for the sake of his own sanity, Steve accepted it, and felt the subject was closed. Mason, on the other hand, believed they had unfinished business to discuss, and wanted to talk about it in person.

As Steve stared out at the view of the Eiffel Tower, Mason went on speaking, and pointed out the facts as he saw them. He believed they were good together, the attraction was mutual, and in the short time they’d been in each other’s company, they’d been happy. To him, it was as simple as that, and he couldn’t understand why Steve would choose to give it up so precipitously.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Steve told him. “And you won’t change my mind.”  

The hedged response hung in the air for some time before Mason called out the proverbial elephant in the room. He asked if he was going back to Brooklyn to be with Bucky, and since Steve still respected him enough to be honest, he didn’t lie. Mason was a tenacious man, but he wasn’t ignorant, and he didn’t press for further explanation.

“Tu retournes chercher ton cœur,” he bemoaned. “I cannot be angry at you for that.”

The conversation ended as amicably as he could’ve ever hoped for, and when Steve hung up the phone, he was suddenly hit with a mixture of relief and apprehension. He wasn’t just leaving France and what might’ve been; he was returning home to the unknown, and the uncertainty of it all was overwhelming.

He and Bucky and been in a bubble. Two weeks of in-patient observation, two weeks of out-patient recovery, and a final post-op physical to determine whether or not he was well enough to travel. A month of nothing more than one-on-one talking, listening, and getting used to each other all over again.

Steve had nearly forgotten what it was like to be so in tune with someone, and there were moments when he would look at Bucky and feel as if there had been no time, distance, or animosity between them. They had never been nor would they ever be strangers, and their shared experiences had bonded them in profound, inexplicable ways, but they weren’t delusional about the effort they’d have to put into making it work. They’d hurt each other severely, and neither of them could erase that pain or rebuild several years’ worth of trust overnight, but the true test of their mettle would be when they got back to Brooklyn…

A soft knock on the adjoining door brought Steve back to himself. He called out that it was open, and a moment later, the subject of his thoughts stepped out on the balcony.

Bucky excitedly declared the doctors gave him a clean bill of health. Steve nodded at the good news, which was followed up by Bucky stating they could leave as soon as that very evening. He must’ve made a noncommittal sound, because the following morning was also deemed acceptable.

“Or we could stay forever,” he offered nonchalantly. “I could become a Moulin Rouge dancer, and you can, I don’t know – paint nude portraits of Frenchmen with their poodles.”

Steve turned to him and furrowed his brow, “I’m sorry - what?”

Bucky laughed and shook his head, “You worried about going home?”

“Honestly? Yeah, I am.”

The Families and the West Indies were still very sore subjects, but they hadn’t tip-toed around them. Bucky knew Steve didn’t want to fall back into old habits and Steve knew Bucky had to get back to running the business that had been sorely neglected in his absence. Playtime was well and truly over, and pretty soon, choices would need to be made that would impact them both.

“We don’t have to figure it all out right away.”

“You know that’s not true. They’re going to expect--”

“The decision isn’t theirs to make,” Bucky interjected bluntly. “And the seat will remain vacant until you say you want it back or you tell me to fill it.”

“And you think they’ll just accept that?” Steve countered.

“They’ll do what I fucking tell them to do.”

An unwavering declaration and an absolute unwillingness to bend – a terse retort that was both the long and the short of it. Bucky had essentially issued a blank check with no void date, and in the event of a battle, he’d be colonel, cavalry, and cannon fodder. A Boss always shouldered the brunt of the weight, and until Steve decided he wanted to carry a share of it, a debate was pointless.

He let Bucky know that he preferred to return to New York the following day, and once the itinerary was finalized, Bucky declared he reeked of hospital chemicals, and wanted to take a shower. After so many weeks of being a de-facto caretaker, Steve followed on reflex. He entered Bucky’s bedroom on autopilot, headed straight for the bathroom, gathered towels, turned on the water, and put down the bathmat.

Like an old-school English valet, Steve undressed Bucky with impartiality that had been easy to maintain because of the discomfort it caused and the need to be mindful of the wounds. Shoes, socks, jacket, tie, belt, pants, and shirt – practice had made the process efficient, but when Bucky dropped his boxers without warning, and invited him to join him in the shower, the detachment Steve had sensibly developed nearly evaporated.

“Please,” Bucky insisted.  

Steve could’ve ignored the entreaty had he not met Bucky’s eyes and saw it wasn’t sex he was after this time. A blatant, vulnerable expression had bled across his features, and the emotion was too real and raw to put words to. Steve knew just by the set of Bucky’s jaw and the way he held his breath that he didn’t want to be coddled or nursed anymore.

Getting undressed and beneath the spray had been the easy part. The dimness of the heat lamp; the steam within the glass enclosure; the complexity of intimacy; and the simplicity of a familiar and welcomed touch – it was a different kind of nakedness and it exposed them both.  

French, triple-milled soap rinsed down the drain and the Egyptian cotton bath sheets were forgotten on the floor at the foot of the bed. They settled into the double king-sized mattress, beneath a down comforter, and atop of too many damn pillows. Bucky rested on his side, back pressed to his chest, and Steve couldn’t stop himself from placing a protective hand over the still-healing injuries.

Bucky’s contented sigh was what Steve fell asleep to, and when he woke several hours later, darkness had fallen, but the room was subtly glowing. The glimmering light from the Eiffel Tower had created sparkled patterns over the ceiling, walls, and bed, but the splendor wasn’t what held his attention.

Blankets kicked off, flat on his stomach, and face buried in a pillow – a repose that was wholly innocent and utterly tempting. The rich scent of Bucky’s soft skin, the warmth of his body, and the reassuring sound of his every inhale and exhale -- he was painfully stunning and completely captivating, and even without asking, Steve could sense he’d also been wakened by the light show.

“Does this happen every night?” Bucky muttered.

Steve made a noise in the affirmative and Bucky let out a huff of annoyance. Bare skin cradled by golden light flexed and moved across the sheets, and he listened and observed as Bucky stretched and groaned beside him. Dark, unkempt hair gave way to a furrowed brow and sleepy eyes, but Steve’s amorous perusal was brought to an end when he abruptly rolled away, grabbed the blanket, and covered himself from shoulders to toes.

Though they were mere inches apart, Bucky’s actions had put a discernable, unspoken distance between them. He’d hidden both his expression and his body, and when the lights of the Tower finally stopped glittering, the room dimmed considerably, and the tension turned palpable.

“I want you,” Steve rasped into the darkness.

“Do you?”

There was no trace of brashness in his voice; if anything, he brooded, as if he were unsure whether or not the passion Steve had for him had somehow lessened. Their journey had left them both shaken and broken, but the one thing Steve knew for sure was that his desire for Bucky had never been lost along the way. He responded to the question not with words, but with deliberate action, and started by pushing the covers down and out of the way.  

Steve roved his palms and tongue purposefully and hungrily from the crook of Bucky’s neck to the base of his spine. When Steve rolled him onto his back, he repeated the process, and reclaimed Bucky’s body. Steve buried his teeth into his abs, coaxed bruises from the flesh of his hipbones, and used his hands and mouth until he beckoned gut-wrenched pleas of mercy that prompted Steve to release him long enough to issue a guttural demand.

“Come for me, Buck,” he ordered lowly. “Come for me right now.”

Bucky’s surrender and his orgasm hadn’t just been a physical release; it seemed to free him from whatever doubts he may have had and revived his confidence. He basked in the afterglow for a few minutes before he got up, rushed to the bathroom, and returned with a bottle of lube and a handful of condoms.

Both were tossed down in the middle of the mattress, and Steve’s heart raced when Bucky crawled back into bed, and kissed him until his brain shorted out. The force and intensity of it sent him falling back against the pillows, and he couldn’t help but moan as Bucky sucked hard on his tongue and stroked his erection from base to tip.

“Nobody else is allowed to have you,” Bucky panted as he issued a sharp bite to his lower lip. “And I will kill anyone who tries to hurt you or take you from me.”  

The possessive assertion was punctuated with a particularly tight squeeze, and the highhandedness continued with hot, open-mouthed licks and nips that blazed a path down his chin, to the base of his throat, and across his chest.

Steve was completely lost in the officious tenor of Bucky’s voice and caress, and by the time he opened the lube and really started working him over, Steve was painfully hard, and hanging on by a thread. Bucky continued to take his time, used his fingers with pitiless and relentless accuracy, and didn’t roll on a condom until he was wrecked and had all but blathered and begged for it.

Situated on his knees, Bucky nudged his thighs wide apart, and guided himself inside until he was seated deep. Bucky intertwined their hands and pinned Steve’s arms above his head. Chest-to-chest; eyes locked and focused; an unhurried rock and roll of hips; heady, potent kisses that left them both breathless and a little dizzy. Steve hovered with Bucky over the precipice -- desperate, unafraid, and more than ready and willing to fall -- and when he did, Bucky fell right along with him.  

“I love you,” Bucky whispered against the shell of his ear.

Steve closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath, “I love you, too.”

Translations: Tu retournes chercher ton cœur – You’re going back for your heart.

Epilogue: The Bosses

Everything: @jennmurawski13​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​

Steve Rogers: @patzammit @hearttoearth​ The Boss of Brooklyn: @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​ @captain-rogers-beard​ @lilliannaansalla

[brooklyn-1918]

Mighty Oaks

Characters: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Peggy Carter, The Howling Commandos. Pretty much everyone from The First Avenger. 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes (Stucky)

Summary: Steve has always been told “mighty oaks from little acorns grow.” He just never knew what that meant to him.

Warnings: Language, poor written smut, fluff and angst. 18+ only.

Word count: 4550

A/N: I wrote this for @thinkoutsidethebex​ ‘s writing challenge, which I had a hell of a lot of fun with. It’s also my first time that I have posted anything that I have written for one of my ships, so I don’t know how well this is going to blow over. 

Also, I got the proverb “mighty oaks from little acorns grow”.

Anywho, enjoy.

People say that mighty oaks from little acorns grow, right? Right now, Steve’s not convinced. Alone and cornered in an alley, the date is August 18, 1942, 4:30 in the afternoon. And Steve is already on his third fight today. 

In his defence, the first one was NOT his fault, and the second he didn’t fully mean to start. This one, though, Steve damn well meant it. He stands defiantly towards the bully, chin jutted out and fists balled at his sides. The red headed man laughs, stepping forward. Steve takes one step closer and the man laughs harder.

Steve can’t for the life of him figure out what’s so funny. Until he sees the man flex his fingers, and a small silver knife falls from his sleeve, and into his grip. 

“Shit.” Steve mutters, eyes darting around for some sort of escape. 

“You really think that your life is worth it? Protecting some girl?” The slimeball twirls the knife in his fingers, taunting, toying. Steve can’t find a way out. So he does the one thing he can think of. 

He dives to the left, crashing into a pile of trash bins, and grabs a lid. Popping up, he hurls the lid with all his might. Granted, not much might, but points to him for trying. It spins through the air, and crashes into the man’s nose with a sickening crunch, making him stumble backwards with his hand over his face. Steve hurtles a pile of trash, and races out of the alley. 

The guy shouts behind him, and Steve narrowly avoids the knife as it is hurled at him with scary accuracy. Steve doesn't stop running until he stumbles through his front door, on the verge of having an asthma attack. 

Bucky looks up from his spot on the couch, untying his shoes from the day’s work. The brunette stands abruptly, dropping one shoe off his lap, and shaking the other off his foot as he trots over to him. 

“Stevie? What happened?” He puts his hands on Steve’s shoulders, and wrenches him upright, looking at all the bruises and nicks on his face and hands. Steve gives him a grumpy look and refuses to talk. Bucky lets out an exasperated sigh, and leads him to sit on the sofa. 

He leaves to grab a washcloth, running it under the bathroom faucet. Taking it back in, he wipes away the street grime and the stray drops of blood, going gently around the tender skin of his black eye. 

“What happened?” Bucky tries again, placing two fingers under his chin and lifting his head. Steve frowns again, and begins to recount the stories of his three separate encounters. And by the time he is done, Bucky has sat on the floor in front of him, staring dumbly at the little blond. 

“You’re lucky I love you, you punk.” Bucky manages to say, shaking his head and dropping the now warm cloth next to him. He pushes up with a tired arm to lean forward, his lips connecting with Steve’s. 

Steve smiles as he wraps a hand around Bucky’s nape, pulling him closer. Bucky swings around to sit on the couch, moving Steve to sit on his lap, kiss never breaking. Bucky begins to work at the knot of Steve’s tie as Steve begins to grind down, growing harder by the second. 

Steve pops the buttons of Bucky’s dirty white henley, before moving onto the buttons of his own button down. Bucky trails his fingers down Steve’s back, then slides them around to firmly grip his boyfriend’s waist, grinding up against him. 

He jumped slightly as Steve’s cold fingers slid under his shirt, working it up and over his head, their mouths only breaking apart once he needed to pass the shirt over. He tosses it, not caring where it landed, and begins to leave a trail of kisses down Bucky’s jaw, to his neck, and finally, to his shoulder, sucking at his pulse point. Bucky groans as Steve runs his hands over his toned abs and chest, then quickly moves his hands to rid Steve of his own shirt, exposing his thin frame. Bucky moves his hands back to Steve’s hips, and stands abruptly, Steve hooking his feet behind Bucky. Moving slowly, he makes it to the bedroom, shutting the door and collapsing down on the old mattress.

_____

It's June of the next year, Steve has just been denied enlistment for the fifth time, and he still somehow has found himself cornered in another alley, this time for trying to get some asshole to stop shouting out during a picture. Just his luck. His eyes dart around, and he does it again. He grabs the lid of a trash bin, holding it in front of him like a shield. 

He isn’t fast enough when the guy swings his fist around to connect with his jaw, knocking him to the ground with a grunt. 

“Hey!” He hears.

“Pick on someone your own size.” Steve knows that voice. He pushes himself up and turns around just as the guy is running out of the alley. Steve can feel his stomach drop out as he lays eyes on his boyfriend, clad in a military uniform.

“How many times is this? And really, Jersey?” Bucky is busy straightening out the medical examination card, eyes down, unsure if he would be able to take the look he just KNOWS is on Steve’s face. Steve draws in a shaky breath, then speaks. 

“You got your orders.” He doesn't pose it as a question, but he keeps his voice low, masking the brokenness of it all. Bucky finally looks up, giving a mock salute.

“Sergeant James Barnes, 107th.” Bucky places his arm around Steve’s shoulders with a little laugh, then pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheek. 

“Come on.” Bucky huffed a laugh, forcing a smile to his face. 

“Where we going?” Steve asked, trying to keep the solemn tone from his voice. It wasn’t working. Bucky bit his lip and gave a shake to the blond. 

“The future. I got us some cover tonight.” 

_____

The “date” went about as well as any cover date could have gone. To the outside world, it looked like Bucky was with the brunette, and Steve was with the blonde, not that it was two illegal pairings.

Of course, the Stark expo had not held Steve’s interest for very long. The floating car was OK, but when he had turned around, there was an enlistment sign, pointing him in the right direction. With a glance back over his shoulder, he decided that he could try his luck. He snuck off to go find it.

Bucky had caught up with him quickly, giving him a little push from behind and telling him that they were going to bring Dottie and Claire dancing. Steve told him he could go on without him, that he was going to try again. Bucky had gotten mad, getting into a little argument. 

Bucky hadn’t been able to stay mad for long, though. He shook his head and brought Steve in for a hug, wishing he could kiss him silly in public. That was the last time Bucky would see Steve for another three months, the last time he would see Steve at that size. 

Steve got into the supersoldier program that night. 

_____

Steve thinks about the phrase his mother had told him years ago.

“Mighty oaks from little acorns grow, now don’t you forget that Steven Grant Rogers.” She had ruffled his hair and sent him to bed. 

Yeah, Steve is REALLY not feeling that. He has fallen in the mud again, grunting as he tries to get his thin legs back under him. Hodges had hit him with the stock of the training rifle again, right to the gut. If looks could kill, Steve was pretty sure that he would have killed him by now. 

Hell hath no fury like an angry Steve Rogers. 

So he runs harder, barely overtaking the guy in the second to last position. He drops the gun and jumps at the rope ladder, but his leg slips through and he falls back, an annoyed look on his face as the drill sergeant yells at him and a few of the other guys laugh at him. 

“I bet Bucky didn’t have to go through this.” He grumbles to himself as he pulls back up, resuming his climb. 

It was these very events that made it hard to believe he was the one chosen to partake in the experiment. At first, he thought it was some sick joke they were playing on him. Then, when he returned to the barracks and his was the only stuff there, it sunk in. 

_____

Steve lay strapped to the table as it flipped up, the doors closing around him. Dr. Erskine had said that the serum would not only give him a pristine physical form, but would cure any and all illnesses he had. And by God he hoped he was right. He hoped that he was right when him and Bucky would sit up, talking late into the night about how neither of them thought their love was an illness. He hoped he was right that there was one thing the serum would not be able to change. 

Love was pain, and he was willing to live with the pain he sufferers every day in order to not give up Bucky. That's the one thing he doesn't think he would be able to live with. Giving up Bucky. 

The door shuts and the pain starts. Dull at first, but it grows until he feels like his bones are on fire, his vision going white. He tries not to yell out, but as it grows unbearable, he cries out. He can hear shouting for the machine to get turned off, so he shouts for them to keep going. He grits his teeth and stays quiet.

He can hear the strap around his stomach break, the thrumming of the machine deafening, the light blinding. Outside, sparks fly and the power dies all at once, leaving Steve trapped in the hot metal sarcophagus. The doors pop open and let in a rush of much welcomed cool air. He may not yet be mighty, but he certainly is bigger.

He opens his eyes as the doctor and Howard Stark help him off the mechanism. Steve thinks for a panicked moment, his love for Bucky doesn't seem to have been changed. Then Peggy asks him how he feels, reaching out to just barely touch his newly defined pectoral muscle. His skin crawls at the touch, and he resists the urge to smile because, yup, he still is very much in love with Bucky. They were right. He smiles. 

_____

Steve’s next two months fly by in a storm of dancing USO girls, and propaganda. And as he sits backstage of the latest show, in the middle of rainy Italy, he can’t help but think about how close he could be to Bucky, to his second half of his heart. 

His hand absently sketches out a monkey, riding on a unicycle and carrying his shield. 

“Hello, Steve.” He jumps at the voice, and turns to look over his shoulder, catching sight of Peggy Carter. 

“Hi.” He says, a little surprised. She smiles and sits next to him, trying to give her comfort to him. All he can see himself as is the dancing monkey. A horn sounds and it makes him jump again, looking to the commotion of people hauling wounded out of an ambulance. 

“They look like they’ve been through hell.” He says. Peggy hums beside him, and gives an explanation. 

“Your audience contained what's left of the 107th.” Steve’s stomach drops to his toes, the blood drained out of his face. He asks for confirmation, but doesn't get it as his patience has run out, and he’s racing out to Colonel Philips’s tent. 

His one goal is to get Bucky back. 

_____

Steve storms the castle. Or, factory in this case. He has unleashed his full fury, teeth grit, knuckles bloodied. He races around trying to find the prison ward, then unlocking all the cages. Hundreds of prisoners flood into the hall, but none of them the one he is so desperately searching for. He takes off in the direction that one of them points in, hoping, praying to any god there might be, that Bucky is still alive. 

He finds him strapped to a table, muttering his numbers, eyes glazed over. Steve quickly makes sure the room has no video feeds, and he rips the straps off. 

“Bucky!” He calls, placing his hand over his beloved’s cheek, smoothing his thumb over the bone. Bucky’s eyes slip back into focus, and he squints at Steve.

“Steve?” He asks, lifting his arm to grip the blond’s shoulder. He looks confused for only a minute until Steve bends down to lock lips with him. Like Prince Charming waking Snow White from her poisoned slumber, Bucky bolts upright. 

“Come on, we gotta go Buck.” Steve helps him off the table, and they hobble their way out of the factory, questions of how and why and when rattling from Bucky’s mouth. 

“I’ll explain later.” Is what Steve eventually gives Bucky.

_____

Steve doesn't leave Bucky’s side for the next few days. They sit in Steve’s dimly lit tent, rain pouring on top of them. Sitting side by side, Steve’s hand rests on Bucky’s knee as he explains things. 

“And here we are, sitting in this muddy hell.” Steve finishes. Bucky hums, tracing up Steve’s muscular forearm with one finger. Bucky leans his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, testing out the new odd feeling of having both more muscle padding and more height. He switches so his chin is resting on his shoulder, his icy blue eyes staring into Steve’s sky blue. 

Steve leans down to kiss him, tongue tracing the seam of his lips for entry. Bucky yields, and their kiss deepens. Steve twists his body so they are facing each other, one leg on the bed, the other dangling over the edge. Hands card through hair, and breathing gets more erratic. 

This is how Peggy finds them. 

“Captain, we need to discuss--” She walks into his tent, eyes trained on the file in her arms before looking up. They had broken apart in time to not have actually been caught in the act, but their appearances were proof enough. Both wore their undershirts with casual base pants, matching disheveled hair. Steve had a hickey at the base of his neck, and Bucky was covered in little nips.

Steve stood quickly, eyes wide in terror. They were sure to be thrown out of the army, most likely put in jail or put through correctional treatment. Bucky remained frozen on the bed. Peggy’s jaw dropped, file drooping until it was at her side. Steve reached his hand out, then withdrew it like he was going to get burned. 

“Look, Peggy, I can ex--”

“I knew it.” Peggy whispers, looking from one to the other. They looked at her dumbfoundedly.

“Your secret is safe with me. I’ll just leave this here.” She says as she places the file on the end of Steve’s cot. She turns to go back out into the rain, but stops to say one last thing. 

“You may want to consider something a bit more private.” She smiles warmly at them, and exits, the flaps swinging lightly as they close. 

_____

Not a week later they find themselves walking through the woods around base, both of them having the day to themselves. Naturally they decide to spend it together. Steve holds out his arm to stop Bucky, and points up the hill to a stone outcropping, more rock forming a cave underneath. 

They haul each other up, climbing inside, where it’s surprisingly warm. Steve takes off his shirt, leaving his undershirt, and balls it up to use as a pillow. Bucky rests his head on Steve’s chest, and gripps his tank top. They can see the whole base from the cave, high on the hill above the treetops. Beyond, is a town, half destroyed by bombs, but still standing. 

“It’s nice up here.” Bucky comments, his voice echoing quietly off the back wall, sounding around the small space. 

“Yeah. Too bad we can’t spend more time here.” Steve sighs. He brings his hand up to twist through Bucky’s hair, playing with the short strands at the base of his neck. Bucky chuckles softly.

“May as well make the best of it then.” Steve is almost confused at his words, but then the brunette climbs on top of him, straddling his waist. Steve grins wickedly as he immediately goes to pull Bucky’s shirt down his shoulders. He sits up, holding Bucky in place by his hips, which have begun to grind down against him. Bucky slides his fingers under Steve’s undershirt, then up the toned stomach and chest, gathering the fabric on the way, stopping briefly to pinch at Steve’s nipples, which are hardening just the same as some other things. He finally lets go and slides the shirt off, before removing his own. 

“You’re beautiful. Did you know that?” Steve asks, a flirty smile on his face. 

“You only tell me every day.” Bucky retorts. Steve growls and flips them over, pinning Bucky to the ground. With his hands over his wrists, he begins to move his hands up slowly, a silent command for Bucky to leave his arms on the ground. Bucky twitches as Steve’s light touches tickle the skin on his arms, causing Steve to see if what he was doing was alright. Bucky gave a nod and Steve moved down, unbuttoning Bucky’s pants. He slipped his fingers under the edge of his boxers, then he quickly shoved them down, exposing Bucky’s excited member. 

Steve trailed kisses down from his navel, towards the inside of his thigh, giving Bucky a few strokes. 

“So beautiful.” Steve murmurs as he sinks his mouth down around Bucky’s length, precum drizzling out of the tip. Bucky gasps, and can’t help as his hands go to Steve’s head, holding him in place. His hips buck as Steve begins to move up and down, breathing deeply through his nose. 

He pulls off of him with a wet pop, saliva trailing from his lip all the way down. Even in the dim light, Steve can see how his lover’s eyes are almost black with lust. He’s sure his are the same. Bucky sits up, hooking his hands under Steve’s armpits, dragging him up to lay on top of him. Steve happily goes with him, but props himself on his elbows, hovering almost nose to nose. Eyes locked, Bucky snakes his hands between them to undo Steve’s pants, pushing them down his hips. 

Steve dives forward to kiss the life out of Bucky, nipping at his lip before going back down his neck. Bucky reaches around to give Steve a few experimental tugs, Steve hard and aching as he moans softly. The blond moves to prop up on just one arm, the other joining where Bucky’s hand lay. Steve pushes one finger into Bucky, bending his knuckle just slightly, enough to bring Bucky up as he arches his back into Steve, a gasp escaping his slack jaw. 

“God… Steve--” is all Bucky can manage to say, squirming slightly under him. Steve chuckles slowly, adding in a second, then third finger, twisting them to have Bucky gasp out his name the same way that he just did. 

Pulling his fingers out, Bucky wimpers, feeling empty at the loss of the touch. He is about to protest before he groans in ecstasy, Steve’s cock filling him up as he thrusts in almost to his base. 

“This feel good?” Steve asks, his voice low, thumb now rubbing slow circles on Bucky’s side. The brunette grins widely, before he grabs Steve’s free hand and presses his fingers to his lips, kissing each knuckle. 

“Shit, Steve… Please…” He whines. Steve takes that as his cue, and begins to move his hips back and forth, rocking them to the beat of each breath he took. Bucky’s breath skips, rattling as he takes the steamy cave air in. Bucky nearly breaks Steve’s hand as he grips it. 

“Please.” Bucky begs, pushing his hips up to get more force. Steve smiles and presses a kiss to the corner of Bucky’s mouth, nipping his lip on the way up. Bucky’s soft plea was everything Steve needed to start completely railing him, thrusts becoming slightly more erratic as he neared the edge. 

“Fuck, you’re so perfect… And so damn tight.” Steve growled in his ear, sucking on his earlobe. Bucky’s back arched up once more, nails dragging down Steve’s back, leaving long red welts. Bucky moans as he cums, his juices spraying over Steve’s abdomen. 

Voices just down the hill make them panic. They are far, but can be made out as the voices of Falsworth and Dougan coming closer. Steve’s head snaps up, and he pulls out quickly, fixing his pants and tugging his undershirt back on, Bucky scrapes his back on the wall of the cave as he shoots up, undershirt thrown on, then green base shirt, buttoning up until the last two. 

Steve is fixing his hair, looking wildly around for his shirt, to which Bucky throws it at him, hitting him in the face just as the two Commandos pop their heads into the mouth of the cave. Steve laughs and kicks the toe of Bucky’s boot from his spot on the opposite wall, unfolding his shirt to sling back over his broad shoulders. 

“Hey, Cap.” Dougan says, pulling himself in, nodding to the sergeant sitting on the opposite wall. Steve is just managing to control his laughter, and to regulate his breathing when Falsworth clambers in, Bucky shooting him a mad grin. 

“What’re you doing the whole way up here?” Dougan asks as he slumps against the wall next to him, twirling his bowler hat in his fingers. Falsworth leans against the wall next to Bucky, looking back and forth between the two brooklynites. 

“Just getting reacquainted.” Steve says, causing Bucky to snort, reciprocating Steve’s kick with one of his own. 

“What about you?” Bucky questions, brushing some dirt off his pants. 

_____

The train rattles under the soldiers, speeding through the snowy alps. Bullets fly and beams of blue light blaze, the fight hot. Steve’s feet are knocked out from under him, and he goes crashing into the floor, his shield bouncing away from him. 

Bucky picks it up and fires at the German soldier once, twice, three times, shield held in front of him. The soldier turns and fires, blasting dead center to the shield, blowing the brunette sideways and through a hole in the side of the train car. 

Steve’s eyes widen and he throws the metal disk with everything he has, contacting it to his chest, where he picks up the sound of ribs breaking through the armour. Before the disk hits the ground again, he has scrambled to the hole, reaching out shouting over the whipping wind. 

“Grab my hand!” He cries, chest constricting. Bucky reaches out, his fingers brushing his love’s. His face is riddled with terror, hand trembling, but he can’t reach.

The bar breaks and time stands still. Steve can only stare, paralized with fear, feeling his heart shatter.

Bucky falls away with a shout.

As he’s falling, Bucky shuts his mouth to silence his scream. He can’t let Steve hear him like this. He can’t let his last memory be of Bucky’s anguish. 

So he twists to his left, enough that his arm catches on a jagged rock ledge, shattering the bone and tearing at the flesh. The last thing he remembers is landing on his back, his head hitting the ground and knocking him out. 

And as he lays on the ground bleeding out, he smiles as his life plays before him. One. Last. Time.

_____

Steve staggers out of the debriefing, barely containing his emotions. He stops in the middle of the camp, mud splashing up and over his boots, contemplating on if he should go back to his tent. 

Unknown to him, the commandos watched him as he turned and wandered into the woods. Unknown to him, the commandos followed. 

Once he got deep enough into the trees, he stopped, scanning the snowy landscape ahead of him. He dropped heavily to his knees, sitting back on his heels, hands lay palm up on his thighs. The tears fell down his cheeks swifter than rivers, his entire body shaking. 

They say mighty oaks from little acorns grow. In this moment he had never felt lower. Someone had taken an ax to his heart and hacked away until he was nothing but splinters. His head dropped so his chin hit his chest. 

With a growl growing in the back of his throat, he unclipped the shield from his back and stood. 

Hidden behind a few trees, the commandos narrowed their eyes, watching for what he would do. They were afraid to move, to make noise. They were scared that their own heartbreak would be heard by their captain. 

With a yell, Steve threw his shield toward a tree, watching as it’s edge sliced right through and lodged in the tree behind. With a crash, the pine fell, shuddering the ground. He walked forward to his shield, and removed it from the wood, staring at the slice for a moment before he wound back and sent his fist to connect with it, splintering the trunk. 

He shook his bloody, probably broken hand, warding off the blossoming pain. He twisted on his heel so he could walk to the fallen tree, sitting on the trunk. 

The tears came hot and fast once more, falling like someone had just blown the Hoover dam. 

The shield slipped from his grasp and landed in the snow. He moved his now free hands to hold his head up with his elbows propped on his knees.

He couldn’t let the troops see him like this. With the snot threatening to spill from his nose, and the irregular breathing, cheeks red and puffy. 

Slowly, the commandos made their way from behind the trees, placing their hands on his shoulders. They sat next to him, they comforted him as best they could. 

_____

The screaming cockpit filled his head. The plane was headed for the ice, and Steve was glad. 

Long ago Bucky and Steve had promised each other that they would be with each other until the end of the line. And this was it. 

Bucky had gotten off, and that left Steve still on the train. Steve was giving his life to save the lives of countless people, and if he had to go, he would choose it no other way. And as Peggy’s voice crackled over the radio, he smiled.

The plane hit the ice and the radio signal cut. Steve was thrown from his seat, and as he was struck unconscious, his life played before his eyes. 

They say mighty oaks from little acorns grow. And maybe they were right. Maybe Steve was.