#[ hitch in the movie btw ]

[spiderwarden]

Remember that one movie where this player guy teaches men how to land chicks, and there’s this one average joe who by society standards is a loser, doesn’t have an A+ physique, isn’t necessarily drop dead gorgeous like A+ actors. And he goes to the guy cause he likes his really rich classy woman.

And he tries to go with the advisors tips on landing her, like having smooth dancing because the guy is a terrible dancer. And it turns out she really likes this dude back BECAUSE he’s a terrible dancer, BECAUSE he’s just a guy trying his best unlike all the rich fake people around her, and she loves his little belly and his awkwardness.

Minthara, the rich woman in question in love with the society loser is Minthara.

[ybklix]

34+35

★ pairing: bf seo changbin x fem!reader

✦summary: The hot idea of your body over your boyfriend's body has been keeping you restless lately and you're just dying to tell him.

♡ genre - warnings: smut, oral sex, fingering, 69 obvs lol, pet names

word count: 996

⭒˚.⋆ masterlist - taglist

a/n: hbd binnie, my ariana girly pop!♡ not proofread btw, finally a drabble, i learned how stfu

Changbin looked so fucking good on that particular night, where it was supposed to be quiet and cute, watching movies together; however there were absolutely no cute thoughts in your mind just now, you were weak, hungry for him to take you and make you shake, you wanted to have sex with him and suddenly you couldn't find the exact words to tell him that you've been thinking a lot lately about eating each other.

“Hey, baby, are you out of M&M's with peanuts?” he asked, tenderly and carefree without the slightest idea that you were restless.

You were incredibly excited for no apparent reason, that was simply your nature, you wanted your boyfriend, you needed him and hoped he could return your energy. You moved dangerously close to him, with a huge smile on your face and sparkling eyes.

“Let's do something more fun, Bin.”

He looked at you in confusion not picking up on how immensely horny you were.

“More fun than watching a movie?” he raised an eyebrow, “What do you have in mind, princess?”

Your smile widened, if only he could know what you had in mind. You gave him a quick peck kiss, taking the courage to say:

“I don't know, you can eat me…” you stammered embarrassed.

“Honey, what?”

“Eat my pussy” you said seriously and then let out a giggle, infecting your boyfriend.

Changbin grabbed your waist, “Aw, I see, so that's what you want huh?”

You nodded energetically, Changbin said again, getting into the hot mood, whispering to you, “Then get your sweet pussy ready for me.”

Your body filled with excitement, still that wasn't all.

“Mmm… we can make it more fun” he raised his eyebrow again as he listened to you, “I can also suck you while you… you know, put my body on top of yours…”

Changbin licked his lips and looked at you closely, “Ah, my dear, a 69, right?”

You didn't answer, just nodded and smiled at your boyfriend's sweetness and accessibility.

“Then let's do as the princess asks.”

Changbin moved his lips closer to you, squeezing your body as he pulled it closer to his, his kisses were tender and sonorous at first, then turning intense and desperate. You were so turned on, you were like this even before you saw Changbin, fantasizing about him over and over again because simply, sex with your boyfriend was wonderful.

“Let's go to your room” he whispered to you, his lips pressed to your ear with his breath hitching.

As you entered you couldn't stand it any longer and stripped off all your clothes with absolutely no shame, Changbin watched you in fascination, almost sighing a woah at your speed and desperation, feeding his ego as he recognized that you really were turned on and needed him to service you. Changbin did the same, stripping off all his clothes to leave his smooth, exercised body, with his notoriously erect cock in the air.

“Come here, beautiful,” he said to you, happy as he lay down on your bed, “Put your pretty pussy on my face and suck my cock just like you said.”

His natural boldness and dirty words made you shudder and, without any shyness, you moved closer to your boyfriend's body, positioning your pussy on his face, on top of him while you could take care of him.

Changbin grunted at the sight of your pussy so ready for him, you were already wet and your center was begging for attention and before he could even stroke you or say anything, you were quick, jerking his thick cock and introducing his length to your mouth, making him moan in surprise, you needed him badly and didn't want to wait.

“Mmm fuck baby, you're fucking already sucking me off, enjoying my cock, huh?” Changbin spanked you and tried to sound natural but you were taking his cock so well he even almost lost track, “Fuck, princess, you're doing it great” he babbled, “Let me do the same for you, I'll make you feel so good.”

He held your lower back and brought your pussy close to his face, taking it fully into his mouth, surprising and satisfying you so much that you had to stop his tonguing on his cock to take a moment and enjoy your boyfriend's warm tongue on your vulva.

Panting, happy, squealing as no one could touch you as specially as Changbin does, you thought 69 would be easy, but you were enjoying to the fullest his mouth sucking your labia and rubbing his tongue all over your cunt, weakening you and making you unable to concentrate, yet you gave your best to give your boyfriend what to receive as well.

His hard, marked abdomen felt so well compressed into yours, everything about him was a dream, Changbin was so devoted to pleasing you by eating your pussy, tasting every part of you until he made you tremble. His hand began to tease your pussy and soon you felt his fingers in you. You sighed, taking his cock, pulling on it and licking every part of his pulsating sex. You were both in each other's flavored paradise, finally one of your fantasies realized and you knew that with Changbin once you started, he was strong enough to hold out all night.

Your boyfriend continued to penetrate your entrance with his digits, licking strategic points of you until you climaxed after a loud moan. You knew he wouldn't take long to cum either, so you tenderly continued to masturbate him, until, after a very vocal moan, a few drops on your face, Changbin finally managed to climax. You loved the sight of his sensitive cock spilling every drop of his white cum, so you took it upon yourself to collect his cum with your tongue, licking his body in scattered places and along his member where it remained.

Changbin smiled, his glossy lips and chin smeared with you.

“Good girl.”

[tranceinnumerabletabs]

When Johnny Comes Back pt7

Howdy! I'm really proud of this one! Please enjoy! it gets funny

idk if you wanted to be tagged in this one too but, @supermegabitchboyexceptimagirl, and of course @beelzebee

I think I should get those tumblr dividers. Also, sorry if you can't understand everything that's said here. You'll know it when you get to it. Its not the end btw.

part1, part2, part3, part4, part5, part6

It’s a quiet night once more, this time you’re in bed, unable to sleep.

It’s been too long. He’s gone. Shot by some guy. Just like in your nightmares

You sigh and look at your clock, 1:26 AM.

ugh

You get up, your cat waking up due to it, and decide to just….pace

You do just that, trying to find reason within your rhyme. You feed makes thudding noises on the cold hard ground.

thud thud thud thud

he’ll be fine

Thud thud thud thud

he’s just recovering

Thud thud

he’s gone

Thud

no he’s not

Thud thud thud

you’ll never be able to see him again

Thud thud thud

you’ll never tell him I love you

Thud thud thud

there’s no more Mactavish finesse

Thud thud thud

he’s reduced to ashes in an urn like in your nightmares

Thud thud drip thud

you look down and realize that a tear has fallen from your face.

sigh

you told yourself that you wouldn’t end up like this. If he’s alive then this is for nothing and if he’s dead….well…then this was just added misery.

You go to the bathroom and wash your face, sniffling a little.

he’s fine

You stare at your face in the mirror, blood rushed to your nose and cheeks, puffy eyed. You didn’t look so good.

You looked tired. You’ve been holding yourself up well right?

Yeah…

Yeah you are!

You could’ve been so much worse but you held up. Even if your eyes look tired and the steady drip of water from your face to the sink makes it unclear whether or not your crying. You weren’t. you’re fine

Ugh. This is why you try not to think of him! You feel so stupid and naive and sensitive and lost and-

“mrow?”

You feel Simon brush up against your leg, stopping your train wreck of thoughts. You smile, he’s so cute no matter how grumpy he is.

“Simon” you say fondly. You lean down and pick him up into your arms, swaying him like a baby as you walk out the bathroom.

Simon’s presence helped but it can only do so much.

You rock him, pet him and scratch him as you continue to pace.

Thud thud thud

you’re so cute Simon

Thud thud thud

you’re precious

Thud thud thud

you know Johnny will come back right?

Thud click thud

you know you’re a little bastard?

Thud thud thud

yeah you know you are? A bastard just like-…..

Thud Creak thud

like….

Thud stomp thud stomp

like……

thud Stomp Thud

.

“Honey, I’m home!”

.

.

.

.

You stand there, eyes wide in shock.

“Johnny?” You whisper but it was too low for even yourself to hear.

“Aye Bonnie, ye miss me?”

Your legs felt frozen as you look at him. A bandage around his head and a few new scars onto him to show off. His bag in one hand.

“What’s wrong lassie? Ye look like ye’ve seen the dead came back tae life” he teases gently, but in a tone that indicates that he missed you.

he’s here

Johnny Came Back

You feel tears pricking your eyes, but he didn’t notice. He drops his bag down and starts walking towards you. Ready to spend his return the same way he usually spends it: watching a movie with an engorgement of take out and smothering you.

“Johnny” you whisper a little louder

Johnny smiles “the one and only. Couldn’t have ye sell my urn to the damn Brits” He chuckled

“Johnny” you whisper once again and this time he catches the weight of your tone and becomes more solemn and sincere. “Aye….it’s me Bonnie….it’s me. I’m home” Your breath hitches and your hand slowly raises to cup his jaw, feeling his overgrown facial hair. He couldn’t shave it to his preferred length.

He drops his head’s weight into your hand, rubbing his cheek into your soft palm, looking softly into your eyes with a smile.

“Johnny” you voice now breaks and your breathing audibly hitches, tears welling in your eyes.

Johnny's eyes widen in shock, as if that was somehow an unexpected reaction.

“Bonnie?”

He tries to comfort you. Tries to think of something to say

“Bonnie I-“

“I thought you were dead Johnny!” You break out.

Johnny looked more shocked. Did you get the wrong information? Or did you just assume the worst?

“No, I-“

“I thought I’d never see you again!” You cry, your shoulders shaking. He looked guilty, he opens his mouth to try to apologize but you do what you should’ve spent he moment he showed his handsome ugly mug. You hug him, tightly. Almost too tight for the worn soldier.

Johnny is startled for a moment before reciprocating, hugging you back with fervor. You wet his shirt with your tears “I thought you were gone Johnny!” You cry, shaking in his arms. “No no lassie don’t cry” he rubs your back as you take lungfuls of his scent, finally being able to breathe it in again after it faded from your home.

He rocks you slightly as you take him all in and muffle all your grievances into his shirt. Eventually he grabs your face and stares into your eyes, his face seeming so tired and pained. Your heart clenches. You should care more about how he’s feeling.

“I’m tae sorry fer words honey, I didn’t think tae tell someone tell ye I’m fine. I just, had a rough time in the hospital an-“

You hug him again “sit down you lug. You need to rest” you gently guide him to his spot on the couch, where he belongs

“How are you feeling? Do you need anything?” You gently ask, cupping his face with both hands and looking at his injury.

He smiles and seemed to relax more that he’s done in a while. He places his rough calloused hands on yours and closes his eyes.

“Aye Bonnie lass, ye could kiss it better” he chuckles, feeling up your hands.

.

.

.

.

he’s had a rough time. Maybe he just needs any form of affection after being hospitalized for so long

You lean in up to his temple where the bandages are and place the most gentle and delicate of kisses on it. Johnny’s breath hitches, you don’t usually kiss him why would you? You’re just friends right?

You wanted to tell him you’re in love with him, or that you wanted him and no one else. But….no. not now, he just came back and…if it’s not reciprocal you don’t want him to deal with that right now. This should be all about him and not you. No, now all you wanted was to make sure that your roommate was okay. That can….come later. If you were willing to risk it. What’s most important is that he’s here and you take care of him. Not your feelings. “Miss me that much Bonnie? I should get shot more often. Then I could get another kiss” He tries to tease but the look on your face was enough to drop the jokes. He becomes more somber, his hands on yours now stroking your forearms. He looks into your eyes, sincerity evident “I missed ye too lassie, didn’t think tae tell ye cuz I dinae think I’d be gone fer so long. Glad to hear I was missed. Nice shirt” he says but it wasn’t the usual teasing tone he had. You look down and sure enough, you’re wearing one of Soap’s shirts as pjs, his scent long done from it. You smile, sniffling a little “I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried Johnny….”

“Aye, I could tell……ye dinae need to worry Bonnie lass, I’m a big strong man”

You huffed a laugh as he rubbed your eyes “Don’t be sad….your big bad sergeant is here.” You lay on top of him, face to neck, just….taking in his presence. He does the same, scratching your scalp, rubbing your back.

He’s back

Johnny came back

Johnny came home

.

.

.

.

After some time, he piped up

“Let’s watch a movie aye? I’m starvin.”

You chuckle, a much lighter and freer laugh than the ones you’ve been making for months. Free from your worries about Johnny

“Of course Johnny. I’ll order you take out”

You kiss his nose. He gives you that signature smile of his.

“Yer spoilin me, love”

“Don’t you forget it”

"how could I ever?"

____________________

It felt so good going back to an old routine. Your movements were unfamiliar and rusty as you sit and eat take out with Johnny at 2:17 AM while a movie was on. He already finished 2 meals but the soldier was still going at it like the dog he was.

“Better than any hospital slop I tells ye!”

You smile, softer and fonder than Johnny remembers, and settle in the routine you remember you had before he left. A blanket tossed over both of you legs, an arm wrapped around some part of you. This time it was around your neck while he ate, a bit awkward but you were not about to complain. He was back and that was all that mattered. He finished up his feast and went back to watching some silly movie based on a tumblr post.

It’s about a random Asian kid whose plane goes down somewhere in Scotland, and he learns traditional Scottish kickboxing. The wise old mentor speaks with an indecipherable Highland accent, Johnny somehow understands and translates for you, and spends the whole film in a full kilt for no particular reason. He goes back to China to reclaim his parent's company made in the style of those "mediocre white boy learns the secrets of ancient martial arts" movies. It’s a funny concept and a movie you’ve been wanting to watch for months but didn’t because….well….Johnny wasn’t here. You couldn’t watch this without him.

And you’re so glad you didn’t because now as Johnny has his warm arm wrapped around you, gentler than usual due to his injuries on his arm. His mouth is near your ear as he ‘translates’ English to English. It doesn’t really matter what he was saying. All that mattered is hearing his raspy deep voice reverberating in your ear. Usually you’d tell yourself you could drag yourself to bed after the movie but you knew couldn’t drag yourself to bed after all this. You wanted to fall asleep on this couch with him. But just before you resigned yourself to that wonderful fate, you remember something.

“Are you going to sleep here Johnny?” You asked

“Aye, can’t anger the sleeping tiger. I won’t move an inch wee Bonnie don’t ye worry”

You sit up and look at him while the movie was Montaging with terrible bagpipe music “No. You need to rest on an actual bed. You’re still recovering”

“Ye dinae need tae worry aboot me love. I’m fi-“

“Johnny.” You say sternly “you’ve been shot in the head don’t BS me now after all that” your voice cracked a bit when you mentioned his terrible injury.

Johnny sighs and smiles “I could get used tae being babied like this”

His tone was teasing but somehow you had a feeling he did wanted to be babied, to be treated and spoken to gently in a way he couldn’t get in a military setting.

You sigh and smile. “One movie okay? Then I’ll run you a bath, rub your back, maybe change your bandages and scratch your hair till you fall asleep in a bed sound good Johnny?” His eyes were enticed but he just had to be a goofy little guy doesn’t he?

“Cannae read me a bedtime story?” He teased. You giggled and nodded. You had a feeling he just wanted to hear your voice “I’ll tell you the story of the ugly duckling. I’m sure you’ll relate” you joke back

“Aye, sing me a lullaby too?”

“You motherfucking bastard.” You roll your eyes with a smile “yeah I’ll sing you a song about how John and Jill when up the hill to fetch a pail of whisky. John fell down and broke his crown and Jill couldn’t see him for months while he was in the hospital.”

“Dinae my fault Bonnie!”

“I know baby I know” you coo, calling him a baby but Soap seemed to be very happy being called that.

“As soon as the movie’s over I’ll show my baby just how much I missed him. Wake me up if I sleep okay? If you don’t you’ll never get that bedtime story ye hear?”

“Yes ma’am”

“Good boy”

You lay back down next to him, continuing to watch the silly movie, the Chinese kid is somehow the chosen one from some ancient Scottish texts made when during some important historical British-Scottish conflict. How did they seriously think that a dizi (bamboo flute) mixed with a bagpipe would make a good soundtrack? And how are they right?

Whatever, it’s not like you were paying much attention when Johnny was stroking your arm right next to you, leaning in and rubbing his scratchy chin against yours, murmuring comments and ‘translations’ that may not even be that accurate. God you missed him. The movie ends with a Scottish themed ��Kung Fu fighter” esque credits song.

He automatically hums something about putting on another movie. “Johnny it’s like 3 and a half in the morning”

“Dinnae care Bonnie. Missed ye”

“C’mon Johnny, I’ll tuck you in bed” you tease He grips you tighter into him “I’m tucked in enough like this”

You smile, wide and so happy.

“C’mon Johnny” you whisper into his ear, scratching his scalp, careful to avoid the injury “those clothes can’t be comfortable. Let’s change into something nicer hmm?”

He sighs contently “only if ye keep that up Bonnie…..feels like heaven”

“Deal”

You leave him to turn on the bath faucet, making sure it’s the right temperature before going back to clean up the take out. He tried to help but you told him firmly to “stay” and like a good boy he does. He watches you walk around the flat like a puppy, eyes glued to your form and glimmering so fondly.

You check the bath and it’s ready.

As you turn to call for him “Johnn-“ you bump into him directly. He followed you here, unable to be away from you. You huff a laugh and lean on him.

“Take a bath Johnny. You could use one of my bath bombs too.”

“Stay with me?” He whines

“I’m not gonna watch you bathe Johnny. You clingy dog.” You chuckle and flick his nose “but I’ll be waiting for you when you come out okay?”

You walk out, feeling his lingering gaze on your back. You go get his bed ready.

It’s…not clean. You’re not proud to admit you’ve slept here on more than one occasion due to his absence. It was a mess of Soap’s belongings. A pile of clothes, some things that reminded you of him, things of the like. You clean it up, place a new bedsheet and pillow case, along with a plushie of a kitten with a mohawk, a gift from you.

(The kitten. Image description: a cute kitten with what looks like a mohawk of fur on it's head. end/ID)

(i-it looks better in the story! but the collar is still there /ID a plushie of the mohawk kitten but it looks crudely made and grumpy with a spiky collar /end ID)

You were admiring your clean up before your were startled by a strong set of hands around your waist and a head into your neck and shoulder. “Johnny! You scared me” He breaths in your scent, while being towel clad “hmm….Bonnie…”

You giggle and turn around, your smile dropping when come face to face with his bared chest. There were more bandages you didn’t see before, new scars and burns. You tsk, gently touching the bandages as he gazed at you “you poor thing…they must hurt so much….”

“…..”

you look up at him “do they hurt? Do you need me to change them or painkillers?”

“I’m fine lovie…”

You shake your head “I left some at your bedside just in case darling.”

“…thank you lassie…what would I do without ye?”

“Die in a ditch apparently”

He smiles, rubbing his thumbs on your waist.

“Never leave me…”

I blush a little at how he said that. Like it wasn’t just a roommate thing. “Never…..let’s get you to bed. I’m sure you’re so tired”

“Nae, I still got an enough for that bedtime story and lullaby”

You laugh “you're such a baby…okay get dressed”

He, being the bastard he is, decided to go “aye” and take off his towel right then and there.

You squeak in surprise and avert your eyes

“Johnny!!”

“What? Like what you see?”

You whine and mumble as he laughs “get dressed!”

You hear a chuckle and him opening the closet, a moment later he speaks “Ye can look now hen”

You turn around and low and behold he didn’t even put on anything “JOHNNY!” You slap your hands over your eyes as he laughs.

“What’s the matter hen?”

“JOHNNY I SWEAR TO GOD-“

“Aye aye, I’ll get dressed.”

You hear some movement as he wears actual clothes, not a lot of clothes but still something

“You can look now, fer real this time”

“So you’re decent?”

“Not morally but I’m wearing pants”

You turn to look and lo and behold this man only put boxers on.

You groan and roll your eyes

“How’s that decent Sergeant Soap?”

“Cannae see my tadger. And it’s Johnny to you.”

You pretty much can see it honestly but you let him.

“Lay on your stomach”

“Be gentle with me hen”

“Of course”

“I’ve been a good boy”

“Shut it”

“Yes ma’am”

You look at the tragic state of his back, pity pulling at your heartstrings.

“Tell me if it hurts too much okay?”

“You can never hurt me hen.”

“Johnny.”

“Aye aye, I will”

You sigh and pull out some oils you have along with a muscle gel that should alleviate any pain he’s brushing off in favor of seeming strong or okay. You know he's usually sore after expending himself so much during his job.

“Yer spolin’ me bloody rotten”

“Shush”

You climb on the bed and gently rub in the oil first

“Nae, could barely feel it.”

You press harder

“It tickles”

You press harder

“Das it”

You roll you eyes and do this. Feeling your face heat up every time he groans and sighs. You later put on the muscle relaxant and he sighs and groans even louder, his voice becoming even deeper due to his tiredness, making your insides mushy.

“Oh…right there…hmm…lower”

You go lower

“Lower”

Alright…

“Lower”

“Any lower and I’ll be touching your ass”

“Aye”

“Okay that’s enough time for bed” you get off him and he whines

“Nooo. I’m so sorry bonnie please come back. I’ll behave”

“Oh really? Never seen you behave once in your life Mactavish” you scold as you put away the things

“Gie me a laldy then”

“Goodnight Johnny” you turn to leave

“No! Wait!” He jumps and yanks you from behind.

“What is it Johnny?”

“Ye Haven’t tucked me in with a bedtime story yet.” He whines

You sigh but secretly you’re smiling wide at his antics, just glad to go through them again. Leave it to Johnny to overcommit to the bit.

“Aight here’s your bedtime story Ya wee sook” you reply, turning to face him. He was shocked “Ya we- where did ye learn tha’?”

“I learnt it from a very sexy Scottish lad once upon a time” you say as you start literally tucking him into bed, the bastard really has you wrapped around his finger.

His face turns red and his smile wide and bright like the sun.

“An’ do I ken this mysterious Scottish lad?”

“Aye” you mimic his accent

He chuckles “tell me about him” he lays down under the covers laying on his side away from the injury. You think for a moment, then a deeply devious and mischievous look came on your face. You grin and began describing.

“He’s sexy, charming, funny, he’s got a cute pet, he’s a like knight who saves princesses, he’s large and strong with a Scottish accent.” You list off as Soap’s face goes brighter and happier. He wouldn’t say ‘save princesses’ but he wasn’t going to really correct you. If you see him as a hero who is he to complain

“I wouldn’t say that. What else?”

“Oh but of course he was. His people were in trouble, and he went out to save them” he shook his head, adorable wee civi aintcha?

You continue “He lived alone for a very long time till he met one woman he began to live with”

“Was she pretty?”

“The fairest in the land” He chuckles and settles in more, getting comfortable as you tell this grown ass man his fucking bedtime story

“what happened?”

“They got married”

His eyes widen in shock as his face and ears turn a hot red. He clears his throat that suddenly became very dry. Did…did this mean what he think it meant?

“Tha’ right?”

“Hmm hmm”

“I like the sounda that”

“Then they lived happily ever after”

Soap looked at you with shocked eyes

“Tha’ so?”

“Hmm hmm”

He quickly put a mask of faux confidence, putting on his big goofy smile. Pride swells in your heart for making him smile so brightly. He clearly needed it.

“And who May this dashing man be?”

“I’ll give you a hint”

“Aye”

“His name starts with an S”

He chuckles

“I think I ken who it is Bonnie”

“Oh really?” You ask, your face growing more excited “who is it”

He pulls his arm out from under the blanket and wraps it around you “tis’ me, Soap. And it’s Johnny to you sweetheart”

His grip tightens as he drags you closer to him, he shoves his face into your stomach, his heart suddenly beating too fast. Is this….your confession? Did you really just say you’ll marry him? Looks like those military spouse benefits are too tempting. He looks up, eyes hopeful and ready for his dreams to come true. That you’ll become Mrs Mactavish and he’s your Prince Charming.

“Wrong.” You suddenly say.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Wha?”

“I said wrong”

“T…then who’s the big strong sexy Scottish lad who marries the fairest in the land?”

“Shrek”

.

.

.

.

“Ye. fuckin’. right. SleEkiT bAmPOT!!”

You burst out laughing hard, doubling over and laughing so hard you collapse on the bed with him. But he doesn’t appreciate that

“Away an’ bile ye head! ye absolute weapon!” He practically yells

“Yer a right glaikit shan wee gobshite! Ye fuckin’ bastard cunt!!”

He raves and raves unintelligibly as you seem to get a six pack just from how hard you’re laughing and occasionally snorting like a pig. You’ve never heard so many Scottish insults in your life. Or at least you would hear them if you weren’t laughing!

Eventually, he shuts up and your laughs slow down. You look at Soap after wiping away your joyful tears. But unfortunately, The look on his face made you burst into laughter all over again.

“Alright alright that’s enough” he huffs and shakes his head, throwing an arm around your face to quiet you.

“Okay okay! I’m done!” You claim, your laughter lowering.

Johnny looked so done with you it was priceless. You were still in a fit of giggles as he shook his head

“Seriously hen? Shrek?”

“Whaaat?” You ask as if you could feign innocence as you’re giggling uncontrollably

“Shrek is the big sexy scott?”

“Yeah!” You laugh

“He bathes in mud Bonnie! He’s nasty” he says disgusted as if he doesn't have worse hear me outs

“And you’re not?”

“Oh that’s it ye-“ he jumps you and harshly man handles you. Pinning you with his big weight, restricting your breathing by pressing on your chest, just being an overall rough housing bastard. It’s not bad enough to cause actual legitimate harm but it’s rougher than he’s ever been with you.

“Johnnyy! Mercy I beg you!” You whine, trying to squirm away and kicking up your legs

“There’s no Johnny here now leannan! Now it’s sergeant Soap! And yer taking discipline!”

You wheeze at the lack of oxygen his man handling is doing, you didn’t have much in you anyway from laughing so much. He growls into your ear and pins your squirmy hands to your chest.

“Johnnyyy! I can’t breathe!” You wheeze out

“Shrek eh?”

You breathlessly giggle at your joke

“Shrek is the sexy charming and funny man who taught you what a wee sook is?”

You wheeze another giggle, unable to stop laughing at the joke.

“Anyone else?”

You try to wheeze an answer “s-s..”

but he doesn’t understand so he lets go. You breath in a desperate deep breath

“Answer the question lassie.”

“What question?” You tease, giggling. He growls and places his pillow on your face to quiet you

“Who’s the charming Scotsmen that makes ye laugh!”

He removes the pillow to get an answer

“Scrooge McDuck”

“You wee lil shite!” He smothers you with the pillow again, so you won’t even have a chance to laugh.

He removes the pillow as you wheeze with a smile

“Wrong answer”

“Whaaat? He’s funny!”

“Tsk. Who’s the Scottish soldier who’s strong and witty”

“James Bond”

“Leannan!!!” He wraps his arm around you in a headlock, he’s done that plenty times before and even taught you how to do it and get out of it, it almost slipped your mind due to your giggling.

You do try to get out of it but he just tightens his hold

“Think ye’re strong, do ye lassie? I’ll show ye strong, ya wee twig!” He growls

“Johnny!” You whine “mercy!”

“No mercy to the enemy bonnie.” He bites your cheek

“Eww! You dog!” You whine and squirm “okay okay you win!”

She shakes his head, mouth still filled with your cheek “Johnny! Please! You’re gross!”

He bites harder

“Away with ye ya daftie!” You poorly mimic He laughs and lets go. You rub your saliva covered cheek on his bicep.

“You’re gross. Let go”

“Nae”

“Johnny.” You try to be stern

“Nah. You need to tell me who th-“

“It’s you! It’s you Johnny! You’re the big, strong, funny, charming Scot that saves princesses!” He lets go, letting you drop on the bed with a thud.

“That’s right lass. Say it again”

“It’s you Johnny. You’re the one I wait in my tower for.”

“Tha’ right?” He says, smiling down at you

“Yeah…it is…”

He smiles and lays down once more

“Either that or Hagrid”

“Bonnie.” He asserts sternly

“Sorry sorry Johnny”

“Brat.”

“Bastard.”

“Your bastard.”

“Your brat.”

You both shake your heads. You sigh and realize how tired you are. You look to the digital clock on Johnny's bedside table. Jesus.

“I’m so sorry Johnny” you get up

“What is it?” He asks, lost

“Just look at the time! A little more and it’ll be sunrise. You need to rest after all that” you hop off the bed but Johnny grips you

“Naee. I’m fine” he whines. Truth was he was exhausted down to the bone, but this was the most affectionate you’ve ever been.

“What is it Johnny?” You sigh

“I haven’t gotten my lullaby”

You groan. You were tired too but you wanted to take care of him.

“Please Bonnie! My heart needs tae be soothed after all tha’. Ye called me nasty :(”

“You’re a big baby Mactavish”

“Aye” he shoves you back to sit on the edge of the bed. You start to lightly scratch his scalp.

“I….don’t have a song..”

“Anythin’s good”

“🎶Somebody once told me th-“

He pinches your waist

“Hahaha, okay not that one”

“…”

“Hmm….🎶we’re no strangers go love. You know the rules and so do-Ouch!”

He grumbles as you giggle

“Then what do you want baby?”

“Quit takin the piss outta me” he grunts “sing…somethin’ calmin’” You think for a bit and a song comes to mind, you think a solider like him could do some good knowing his song.

(A/N: I’m so sorry for what you’re about to sing)

“🎶There's a shadow on the wall, stay calm, stay calm 🎶

🎶There's a figure in the hall, stay calm, stay calm🎶

🎶Keep my wits and stay alive, wish I had a nine to five 🎶

🎶There's a stranger in us all, stay calm, stay calm🎶”

He relaxes and listens intently. Finally a normal song, he thinks foolishly

“🎶Every hair is on it's end, that's fine, I'm fine🎶

🎶Feeling my adrenaline, that's fine I'm fine 🎶

🎶I can keep away the creeps, safely from my swivel seats🎶 🎶Something's crawling through the vents, that's fine I’m fine🎶”

You start humming to him while scratching his head gently. He sighs and cuddles up to your waist more, rubbing his bandaged head gently against you.

“🎶In the end there's only me alright, alright 🎶

🎶 Morning sun will set me free, all right, all right🎶”

His face was calm and droopy, ready to rest his tired war used bones. He looked like he could sleep through the winter.

“🎶I spent..um…many months away from you🎶”

You hum him the tune as he falls asleep, looking peaceful.

After you’re done you sit there admiring him for a moment, seeing him home, not in one piece but home made you take the time to appreciate his presence.

You yawn, realizing that you could see the sunrise peeking from the curtains. Wow it’s late, but it’s worth it. He’s had such a rough time and deserves all the comfort you could give him. You slowly and quietly try to leave the bed, thinking he’s asleep. Only for him, the baby he is, to grip you hard and force you into bed

“Johnny!” You whine, this time whinnier than ever.

“Give me a kiss goodnight princesses”

“Johnny.”

“Please leannan? Last thing I’ll ask o’ ye and I’ll sleep” he sleepily grumbles while gripping you like a stuffed animal. You felt so….vulnerable like this. You’ve never been in his bed with him.

“Promise?”

“Aye”

“Pinky promise?” You tease

“Aye aye just gimmie a Smourich and I’ll sleep”

“Sigh”

“Please”

“Fine” you wiggle in his iron grip to lean up to him and give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. He smiles, eyes still closed as he settles in one last time. “Goodnight love.”

“Goodnight Johnny” you smile, moving to get out of his grip and go to b-you can’t get out.

Johnny's grip is strong around you. “Johnny?” You pipe up and wiggle to try and move away. He doesn’t budge

“Johnny.” You more firmly and look up to see his sleeping face as if he knocked out cold within seconds of getting a goodnight kiss. “Johnny!” You whine “you bastard! Let me go”

No response

“Johnnyyy!!!” You flop like a fish in his grip but nope! Too bad! You’re stuck!

“Johnny I know you’re awake I swear to god if you don’t let me go right now!”

No response but you swear he’s doing this on purpose. You groan and struggle for a few more moments till you feel a soft furry mass lay on your side, Simon. He fell asleep on the couch after the movie and a joyful (as joyful as Simon could he) reunion with Johnny. You freeze up as Simon gets comfortable, laying on you. You wouldn’t wake up a cat would you? Especially not one so grumpy and tired. No, you sit there without moving a muscle and wait. Cat owner rules.

Welp….looks like you’re sleeping in a big man’s arms tonight. The position makes you flustered but between the unconsciousness of the bastard sergeant, the softness of your cat and your sleep deprived mind body and soul. You decide fuck it and just fell asleep in your roommate’s bed. It’s cozy like this anyway. You’re knocked out cold within the minute.

AN: This is NOT the end!

[hysteria-things]

PLEASE MAKE A MEET AND GREET PART 2

♛ TWO ° •

ʚ♡ɞ 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 | 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 ʚ♡ɞ

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dom!matt x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you miss matt like crazy, and can’t help but to send a dirty photo to him…

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT, suggestive, masturbation (female), there might be more idk

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 751

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: i swear ghost and BFB part two will be coming soon🫡

thank you for 2.6K btw i love you all very much :)

texting your celebrity crush is like what happens in movies or wattpad, but the fact that you're doing just that still blows your mind. however, it's not as mindblowing when you had sex with said celebrity crush three days ago.

biting your lip, you giggle and tap on your phone like there's no tomorrow.

“are you even watching the movie? you seem to be more intrigued with your phone instead.” hannah says, leaning to the coffee table to grab the remote and pause the TV. “you’re never so glued to your phone. is it a boy? do i know him? what does— is that a hickey?”

pausing mid-type, you place your phone down and try to cover the healing hickey on your neck with your hair. “…no.”

“oh my god, it so is!” she gasps, smiling wide. “who the hell are you fucking? is it the person you're texting? when did it happen?”

“you ask a lot of questions, you know that?” you joke, trying to maneuver this conversation.

“y/n, come on. i’m your best friend. best friends tell each other everything.”

you sigh. she’s right, you guys do tell each other everything. clearing your throat and fidgeting with your hands, you try to find words to explain the recent events in your life.

“so… remember when i went to the bathroom at the sturniolo’s tour? and left you standing outside for an hour?”

she rolls her eyes. “yeah.”

“what if i told you that i actually didn’t go to the bathroom, and matt snuck me on the tour bus and… bentmeoverthetableandfuckedtheshitoutofme?”

she looks at you with eyebrows furrowed, confused as hell. “what?”

you exhale. “matt bent me over the table and may or may not have fucked the shit out of me?”

her face now morphs to shock, trying to read your body language to see if you’re lying. “what the fuck? is that why you came out limping and looking like you got manhandled?”

“yes.”

she blinks, shaking her head to take in this sudden information. “was the dick at least good?”

biting your lip, you nod. “duh.”

“hello?” you say innocently into the phone, running your hand from your stomach into your underwear.

matt’s leaning against the wall in a hallway that the venue has, far away so nobody can see nor hear him. “hi, y/n.” he chuckles.

you pout, rubbing your clit hard to get some sort of sensation rubbing through your body. “hi, matt.”

he licks his teeth and smiles smugly, knowing exactly why you wanted him to call. “whatcha doing?”

with fluttering eyes, your finger moves to your folds, moving up and down on your slit slowly. your breath hitches. “t-touching myself.” you whine. “thinking about you.”

as much as matt wants to do it himself, he can’t. the ache in his pants will last until after the show, that’s for sure.

“is that so?” he teases. you feel your wetness start to pool. “what’re thinking about, hm?”

“about the other night.” you squeeze your eyes shut, biting your lip. after a few long strokes, you’re wet enough to slip a finger inside.

he sighs, adjusting the phone on his ear. “you mean when i bent you over the table and bred you? or when i tongue-fucked you to where you couldn’t stand?”

moaning loudly, you insert a second finger and move them rapidly. “b-both. god, i miss the way you feel.”

“i wish i could fuck you dumb again.” he says lowly, hearing your pants and arousal all in one. “screaming so pathetically beneath me. isn’t that right?”

even though he can’t hear you, you still nod your head, arching your back when that spot gets hit at just the right angle. “yes, matt!” you moan loudly. “i miss you. i miss you so much! fuck, i’m going to cum. please let me cum.”

you ramble on as he stands there quietly to listen. the way your sounds get louder and faster the more your orgasm builds. “go ahead. nobody’s stopping you.”

clawing at the sheets with your eyes rolling back, you rut your hips on your fingers when you feel your release coat them.

“good luck tonight,” you mumble, trying to catch your breath.

he laughs, checking the time with a sigh. “i have to go. i’ll make sure to win for you.”

you hang up the phone, and not even a minute later, a picture comes rolling in. you love that he’s acting like you didn’t just cum to his voice.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @sturniolotriplettoplover @stars4matt @freshsturns @loverrsposts @sturnlcvr @elliesturniolo1 @tpvmz @user283926392 @lalalands86 @sukiipjs @sturniologirl813 @leahrab @chrissturniolosslut @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @luv4kozume @ivyyyyyysposts @mirxcle1 @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @catalina-island @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @pinkfarts @slut4mattsturn @thesturniolos @vickeyzloserz @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @gdsvhtwa @hrt-attack @bellasfavbisexual @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings

[loves0phelia]

Please write about Rafe who believes in love and a reader who doesn't! I love your first fic btw

Love

Summery: the request

Words: 1k

Warnings: small injury, grammar mistakes (feel free to correct me)

A/N: thank you so much for this request! xxx

Ever since you and Rafe met, he has been head over heels for you. He would follow you around like a lost puppy, he would get you anything you could possibly want, and always make sure you were okay.

In a way you loved how much he cared, but sometimes the feelings he left you with, made you confused.

In your head love was nothing but a useless feeling. The lovey dovey movies were fake and unrealistic, the people holding hands or kissing in the streets were disgusting and anyone who tried to prove you wrong was definitely not sane.

So why was Rafe Cameron making you feel this way? 

“Good morning pretty, got you your favorite like always” He says the second you open the door to his black pick up truck, and hand you the chocolate chips cookie from that bakery you adore.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to get me something every time?” Even though you wish you kept your lips in a straight line, a small smile took place on your lips.

“But if i stop bringing you snacks how else will i see this pretty smile of yours?” immediately your cheeks became red, so you turned your head to look out the passenger window as he finally started driving away.

After what felt like hours, you got the courage to speak up and asked him where he was taking you.

“Well I figured you wouldn't like the movies because you claim its “too romantic” so I decided on going up to the hill with some food and a book, we could spend the afternoon together until sunset. Also I brought my laptop in case you changed your mind about rom coms…” he uttered the last words anticipating your reaction to them.

“Are you serious? that's like the most rom com thing ever!” you threw your hands above your head and looked at him in disbelief.

“Come on Y/n just give it a shot please” you looked at him with a glare not breaking against his attempt at begging.

“for me?” your fake anger vanished the second the words left his mouth. His soft blue eyes and pouty lips had you in a choke hold. You could never refuse him even if you tried.

“fine” Rafe shouts in victory before grabbing your hand and shaking it while still holding the steering wheel.

“You're not going to regret it baby, i swear” his happiness calmed and now you could only hear the soft music playing on the radio and the harsh sound of his engine. 

What you hadn't noticed though was how his hand was still holding yours on top of your thigh for the rest of the ride. 

When the car finally came to a stop, Rafe jumped out and rushed to your side to open your door. While holding the small bag with the cookie you haven't eaten yet in your left hand your right one grabbed his so he could help you climb out. This gesture was almost too familiar now.

You stood a few feet away as he grabbed the cooler filled to the brim with various beverages and snacks. Your breath hitch when you noticed his arms flex beneath his gray shirt. 

“You ready?” you snapped your eyes away from his muscles as fast as light and quickly nodded, unable to speak any word.

In silence you both climbed the small trail up to the hill. While you could've been watching the blooming flowers, your mind was on rafe, you were daydreaming not paying attention to anything.

“shit” were your last words before tripping over a small branch on your path. your exclamation immediately made Rafe turn on his heels, he dropped the cooler to the ground and ran to you, examining the damage.

“im fine Rafe i just wasn't paying attention” you tried to comfort him but his gaze was fixated on the small cuts over one of your knees.

“Do you want to go back? we can do this another day” he asked concerned and almost already getting ready to turn back the way you came from.

“No rafe. Really I'm ok it's just a small scrap and I don't want our day to be ruined because of me” you almost pleaded.

“Are you sure you can walk? cause i can carry you” he suggested.

“don't be ridiculous, you're already carrying all that” you laughed and optimistically went back on the way.

the entire pathRafe and a small furrow in his brown and he stayed close to you in case of another accident, he was ready to catch you,

When you two were finally settled on a blanket led on top of the grass he began unpacking.

“So a movie or a book? also I'm warning you, if you choose a book you need to read to me.” he smiled innocently.

“book please” you answered shyly before taking the book from his hand. instantly rafe led his head on top of your lap and snuggled while grinning, knowing what he was doing,

but surprisingly you did not comment, nor move away, you stayed like that even when you began to read the words out loud.

he was so peaceful he almost looked asleep but the soft and smooth movement of his thumb over your small injury proved you he was definitely awake.

“Whats up” your brows furrowed wondering why he was asking. 

“you stopped reading.” You hadn't even realized you had stopped and you definitely didn't realize he was looking up at you, admiring you for almost 2 minutes before saying something.

“i was just thinking how much i appreciate this,i never realized before now how much i enjoyed it” 

“yea?” He sat up with the brightest smile.

“mhm” you hummed and you felt like a magnet was pulling you to him so without a thought you crashed your lips on his.

he made a noise of surprise before rapidly returning the gesture while sliding his fingers in your hair and holding you to him.

passionately you and Rafe kissed until you couldn't breath and that's how you realized love was actually the best thing to ever feel.

[callsignfate]

Hi I have some ideas for Valeria ( if you need something 😆)

1. Movie night with a fem reader, we know Valeria is cold and heartless but for her girlfriend...she can be a total sweetheart. Reader finally convinced Valeria to watch a cartoons with her ( I love cartoons 🙈) so they take some snacks and go watch cartoons. Unfortunately reader fall asleep after an hour and that was a moment when Valeria realized how good and safe she feels with her girlfriend

2. Valeria had a stressful day (obviously 😅) when she finished her work only thing she wanted to do was to go to sleep. She went to her bedroom but she couldn't find her girlfriend (reader) so she went to find her. Reader was in the kitchen cooking something for both of them when Valeria found her. A lot of fluff ,maybe some sexual tension who knows 😆

I have a lot if ideas and your stories are always sooo good and I think it might be interesting 😆 I hope you like it

Thank you 🖤

Reader x Valeria

TW: Possible sexual content viewer discretion is advised

Okay so, Authors note, I had taken such a long time off of writing that I had to rewatch all of the Valeria scenes to make sure I wrote the character as closely as I could get. This didn’t take long but, yea. I also went and found a laptop with a great deal so I use it just for writing and can now write whenever I want instead of having to write only on my desktop that's having some minor issues right now. I would like to apologize again for the large wait in between posts as I have a lot of things going on with my mental and physical health. I kept trying to get back into writing but every time I would I’d end up sick, at the doctor's for some reason, or just not in the mood to write. I also have been getting into other shows and games so might expand the characters and fandoms I write for. This is the 2nd prompt btw I will work on editing the first prompt draft after I post this.

Lightly edited as I wanted to post something ASAP!

She ended up taking longer than even her normal long days, finding herself up to her eyes in work and calls that had to be done soon to move her products smoothly as some unforeseen hitches had ruined her previous plans with ease. Her office was now shrouded in dark other than the two lamps she had turned on absentmindedly. Her last call was the longest and most infuriating one as luck would have it, her foul words being muttered under her breath and she slammed her phone down and left the office she found stuffy and claustrophobic after sitting in it ceaselessly.

Valeria was a busy woman, of course, often keeping her empire running wasn't a small feat. Her days weren’t the standard eight hours as most were, after your busy schedule that kept you busy for eight to nine hours of the day. After work, you often waited around for her while relaxing and walking about the endless villa she called home.

Her mind was fuzzy with stress and exhaustion as the night before was restless and short, her morning with you being cut short had made the day already negative, only making her day longer and filled with her having an even shorter fuse. She yearned for sleep, to hold you in her arms while she listened to you ramble about the simple things that kept your mind busy and happy.

The trudging steps became lighter as she got closer to your shared bedroom where she half expected you to be in bed curled up either asleep or awake pouting and waiting for her with some small comment about how long you waited for her.

Instead, when she opened the door to get ready for bed you were gone, her eyebrows pinched together and furrowed in frustration. Her thoughts were filled with endless questions and fear? She scanned the room again to see the clothes she had seen you in when you had visited her office before were thrown into the hamper hanging off of the side of it messily. With a slightly agitated huff, she began opening doors down the hall in search of you, the bathrooms were cool and the mirror wasn't fogged up meaning you weren’t there, so she headed down the stairs before a sent of warm food led her to the kitchen, her eyebrows raised as she found you wearing an oversized sweater and short thin sleeping shorts that you usually wore to bed after she bought them for you on a particularly hot day a year or so ago.

“What are you doing?” She finally spoke with a slightly playfully mocking tone, making you jump while you leaned back and forth and mouthed the lyrics of the song you were listening to in your earbuds.

“I was making us something to eat, I tried to lay down but I got snacky and bored waiting.” You said after quelling your quickened heart and letting out a small breath.

“I had calls to make and the idiots on the other side weren’t listening.” She muttered with a small hint of frustration before she moved to stand behind you, her arms wrapping around you before they moved under your hoodie so slowly that your mouth slacked and goosebumps raised on your arms and the back of your neck.

“Let's eat and head to bed.” She hummed out in your ear with a small teasing and cocky laugh.

You offered a nod and plated the food before her hand slipped into your loose shorts making you lean forward onto the counter, your stomach tensing as a gasp escaped your lips. 

The food, sat on the counter cold you realized as you watched her sleeping soundly, the subtle soft snore making your lips turn up into a small smile.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

the bafta livestream out of context: top 60 cursed quotes.

There is nothing more cursed than the livestream I just witnessed, and I made a summary post but now I'm just going to put in quotes by the worthy maggots in the stream with no context, because BELIEVE ME THE CONTEXT DIDN'T MAKE ANYTHING BETTER. The livestream chat was NOT A PLACE OF THE LORD.

I'm going to make the quotes that were by me a different colour. Please know that I am NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR A SINGLE QUOTE OTHER THAN THOSE. SO HERE'S THE TOP 60 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Barbenhimer awakened things in me ok

aroace people the most disturbingly sexual talkers on the planet fight me on this

WHO JUST GASPED

MICHAEL SHEENS BABY TALKING BARK BADK IM A DOG BARK WOOF

I feel so sorry for this woman. She's being so heartfelt and we're here thristing over a slinky that possessed a man

IRELAAAND PLEASE ADOPT ME AS YOUR OWN PLEASE TAKE ME TO THE LAND OF UNPRONOUNCABLE WORDS, GREEN FEILD, CATHOLISISM AND HOZIER PLEASE

the urge to go to france and misgender a croissant is real

Devastated the slutty knees have gone away

So many men nowadays are so submissive and breedable like thank you lord for these men thank you

witches and murder slime tutorial

speaking of royals did the bloke who ISN'T lizzy's husband but her son apparently die yet

Turtleneck Crowley is my gender.

WE COULD HAVE LEFT IT AS NOT SAFE FOR WORK WHY THE DRTAOLS ASMI

SAY AN BFUIL CEAD AGAM DUL GO DTÍ AN LEITHREAS AN WE'LL LET YOU THROUGJ

"Oompa loompa doopety dee, I really hated being in this movie" -Hugh grant probably

IF YOU'RE A CHILD AVERT YOUR EYES FROM THAT MESSAGE IM SORRY

i want the kilt back this a betrayal

if someone put me in a room with kilt!david tennant one of us is walking out of that room pregnant and its not gonna be me

a lot of these words are in the bible and none of them should be in that order you need jesus

Can we vote to make david wear that kilt back? Maybe make him do a twirl this time

You mean Bildaddy? 😏

Honey what make you think a dude who roamed around with prostitutes and got himself more holes for mankind won't be calling bildad bildaddy? [this was about jesus btw.]

FREE THE KNEE

Show us the knees!

AND YOU'RE COMING AFTER ME FOR MY BLOWJOB BANANA

He looks like those fancy chocolates. Imma take a bite outta him. Think you'll leak molten goo like them?

My brain isn't working, I read "bratty couch jr"

i'm sorry the what holes

FIND ME ON GOAD AND I WILL MAKE YOU PAY APPROPRIATELY

I genuinely thought it was a road typo and I thought you were threatening asmi with physical violence on the road

OHH FLOWER OF SCOTLAAAAAAND

Combine that with the unfortunate oranges and see what happens.

DEVASTATING NEWS I ATE UP ALL OF THEM SO I'VE BROUGHT A BLOWJOB BANANA INSTEAD

That reminded me of the army video where the guy was deepthroating a 7 inch banana without a hitch.

OMG THEY JUST FLASHED BACK & I GOT A GLIMPSE OF THAT KILT 🥵🥵🥵

thats why apollo had to deliver you at an illegal sushi restaurant

How long do you think it would take to get david naked from his chocolate man suit? Can we set a new speedrun category?

SUPERBOWL FOR TENNANTISTS

Big feelings about pants straps in the chat tonight

Last time i check yoire supposed to thank the lord gor his gifts

HEY GUYS ASMI'S FROM A PARALLEL UNIVERSE CONFIRMED

I just have a deep appreciation for ireland

Can you use suspenders as bondage gear? I mean it looks like it would be fine? I mean if you make the length a bit more they might be more comfortable than ropes. Just sayin

All i can think when i see him in the costume is the one specific ken and oppenhimer slash fic. Lord help me i can't be saved

GIVE MY LOVE TO THE LEPRECHAAAAAAAAAAAUNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Like a giant orange slice on her one arm.

Stop hitting the lectern geez / what if its into that?

Men who wear suspenders are such losers like why do you need so much cloth to keep your pants up. Why dont you just wear a belt. Where do you live. What is your timezone. What are you office hours

what is this suspender shaming ari chappal for you

Aziraphales office hours are: fuck off

Put me ina room with a suspender wearing man and he shall have the same fate as kilttennant

MARIYADAM E ILLAI

It was titled "snake in my b***" It meant butt lmfao

CROWLEY AND LOKI MY GENDERFLUID ICONS

THE KNEES ARE BACK

THEKNEES GOD SAVE ME FROM THESE SINFUL THOUGHTS

What if slutshaming is my kink?

NOT THE BLOWJOB FACE NO

AT THIS POINT IF NEIL HASN'T UNFOLLOWED ME YET HE'S ASKING TO BE MENTALLY SCARRED IM SORRY

I am failing

Tagging the main culprits whose tumblr handles I know:

@thearoacemess @vitrilol @queermarzipan @good-usernames-were-taken

Cheers, maggots.

[lcvebuckley]

i would love just to be stuck to your side

written for @bucktommyfluffebruary

prompt : day 4 - clingy boyfriends | word count : 1.4k | rated : G

day 4 already phew!! i had this written in my drafts the moment the prompts were announced and had been trying to finish writing it ever since and it's finally done yayyy

the title is a line from the shade by rex orange county btw!

enjoy! ♡

Buck loves cuddles, but Tommy loves cuddles. When they first started dating, he tried to not be so obvious about his clingy side, but it doesn't help that Buck is just as clingy—if not more—that Tommy also can't keep his hands off him.

Or in which Buck’s clinginess is loud, but Tommy’s is strategic (and obvious).

full version below or read on ao3

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Buck has always been a clingy person. It's who he is. He clings to things. He clings to thoughts. He clings to people. Especially people he likes.

So when he started dating Tommy, he didn't shy away from showing how clingy he gets—holding Tommy's hands in private and in public, leaning on his shoulder when they watch movies together, using every opportunity to get Tommy's attention, initiate physical touch wherever and whenever just because he can't keep his hands off his boyfriend's muscular body—and Tommy didn't seem to mind.

What Buck didn’t realize when they first got together was that Tommy is also clingy. Maybe not as obvious as Buck, but he's had his moments. Subtle. Quiet. Nestled beneath layers of casual coolness and an “I’m not needy” facade. 

Unlike Buck, Tommy likes to keep his clingy side with his partner private, and Buck honestly finds that adorable—endearing even. Tommy loves touching Buck in a lot of ways that grounds him. The way his fingers would absently play with Buck’s curls when they were lying in bed. How he’d gently caress his cheek like he was memorizing the feel of his skin. He loves showering him with kisses when no one else is around to see��on the top of his head, his jaw, the tip of his nose, and his personal favourite—his birthmark.

Buck loves cuddles, but Tommy loves cuddles. When they first started dating, he tried to not be so obvious about his clingy side, but it doesn't help that Buck is just as clingy—if not more—that Tommy also can't keep his hands off him. 

Like that one time they were on a movie date at Buck's loft when Buck started leaning on Tommy's shoulder and draping his arm across his torso. Naturally, Tommy followed suit, wrapping his arm around the other. At first, it was awkward—this was their first real, intimate moment beyond chaste kisses and hand-holding. But the tension melted away as they slowly got comfortable and by the end of the movie, Tommy had a hard time letting Buck go. 

"Can we just stay like this for a little bit longer, I like holding you." Tommy had whispered, his voice barely above a breath. Buck didn't mind though, he likes being held too. It was his first time being held by another man his size in such an intimate moment and it was the most comfortable he ever felt. They ended up falling asleep like that and Tommy didn't let go once until they had to get ready for work the next day.

Other moments when Tommy showed his clingy side was when they're in bed. He loves holding Buck—the weight of him, the warmth, the way his boyfriend fits perfectly against his chest like he was made to be there—it’s everything he could ever wish for. But when Buck insists on being the big spoon one night, he couldn't refuse. 

Tommy didn't expect it, but he loved every second of it. He melted into the role reversal almost immediately, sighing softly as Buck’s arms wrapped around his waist, his chest pressed against Tommy’s back, the warm air coming from their skin-to-skin contact circulating under the blankets. 

Buck could feel every slow, steady breath Tommy took and could hear the faint hitch whenever he adjusted their position just slightly. It was like holding onto something precious, and Buck didn’t want to let go.

But here’s the thing—neither did Tommy.

Unlike on the couch where he had control on when to let Buck go, this time the younger had full control over him. And knowing Buck, he's not letting go until they have to wake up the next day. 

But if there was an instance when Buck wanted to move his arm away for a bit in an attempt to get more comfortable, Tommy’s hand would shoot out, grabbing the younger’s arm with surprising strength, pulling him right back where he belonged. No words. No explanations. Just an instinctive, silent stay.

Okay, Tommy may be more clingier than he admits.

Though there were times when Tommy was clingy in public.

It wasn’t often—Tommy liked to pretend he was cool and composed, the picture of self-restraint. But Buck knew better. Especially after that time at Bobby and Athena's housewarming party.

The couple had just finished rebuilding their new home and the whole 118, plus friends and family, had gathered at the new house for a small celebration. The backyard was buzzing with laughter, music, and the smell of Bobby’s grilling. People mingled with plates of food, kids darted between adults, and Buck was right in the thick of it, bouncing between conversations with Maddie and Athena.

Tommy wasn’t far—never far, actually—but he was trying to play it cool. He stood with Hen and Chimney, catching up and reminiscing about the old times, his arms crossed like he wasn’t secretly watching Buck’s every move. Every time Buck glanced over, his boyfriend would quickly look away, pretending to be engrossed in whatever Chimney was saying.

Buck found it funny. Adorable, even. It's even funnier when the facade didn't last as long as Tommy hoped.

At one point, while Buck was engrossed in a conversation with Karen, that's when Hen, Chim, and Eddie decided they needed Buck’s help with something. “Hey, Buck,” Hen called from across the room, waving him over. “Come help us move the cooler from the truck.”

Buck didn't even hesitate and was quick on his feet but before he could take another step, he heard Tommy’s voice cut through the party noise.

“Where are you taking him?”

Everyone turned, sharing a knowing look. There was Tommy, standing a few feet away with a plate of food in one hand, fork paused mid-bite, his expression casual—too casual, like he wasn’t internally regretting how fast that question slipped out.

Hen raised an eyebrow, clearly fighting a grin. “Uh… to the truck? For like, five minutes?”

Tommy blinked, cleared his throat, set his plate down on a nearby table and took one last bite before making his way towards Buck. He casually slipped his arms around the younger's waist, pulling him close. “I’ll come with,” he added.

It was the way he said it—like it was no big deal, like he just happened to be heading in that exact direction at the exact same time, definitely not because he couldn’t bear the thought of Buck being more than ten feet away.

Buck blinked, both flattered and fighting a laugh. “Babe, it’s a cooler, not a rescue mission.”

Chimney, of course, wasn’t about to let that slide and chimed in. “Okay... clingy much?” he snorted, elbowing Eddie with a laugh. The other chuckled, shaking his head. “Man can’t let Buck out of his sight.”

Tommy’s face stayed perfectly neutral, like he was completely unfazed, but his ears went slightly pink—which wasn’t obvious but Buck noticed them with their close proximity. “I’m just supervising,” he replied coolly, wiping his mouth with a napkin he grabbed when he set his plate down like this was strictly business. “Evan’s easily distracted.”

Buck nearly choked on his laughter, turning just enough to catch the slight smirk on Tommy's face, a dead giveaway that betrayed his I’m totally chill and not at all clingy act.

So they grabbed the cooler together—together, because God forbid Buck carries something without his “supervisor”—and by the time they got home that night, Buck was still grinning from ear to ear.

He flopped onto the couch and turned back, eyes narrowed as he looked at Tommy who was taking his shoes off by the door. “So,” he said casually, “Just to confirm, you followed me around today because you think I’m easily distracted?” he asked, his voice teasing.

Tommy didn't even look up as he kicked off his shoes, knowing exactly where the conversation was going. “Yep.” 

Buck knew Tommy was shameless, but he didn't think he'd be that shameless. “You're such a liar,” he snorted out a laugh, snatching a pillow from the couch and tossing it at Tommy.

Tommy caught the pillow effortlessly, tossed it right back, and shrugged. “At least I was discreet about it,” he muttered, slightly hesitant at his own response, but then he shrugged, wearing that same smug, unbothered expression that somehow made everything sound convincing.

Yeah, sure. Keep telling yourself that.

[yuna542]

Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 2 <-

Part 3

Pairing: Chan x Reader + hardcore Felix Fluff

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: big Fluff, Suggestive stuff

Word Count: 2.8k

Note: So I‘m getting into tumblr and learn every few seconds new stuff. Still confused btw. So here we go with an other Part. Have fun! Who doesn‘t love a good slow burn?

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager.

Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

The months flew by and you had learned more in a very short time than ever before in your life.

It turned out that you had a hidden talent for the job. You were able to remember all the dates, appointments and important facts without any problems, got to know important contacts in no time and soon knew every detail about the history of Stray Kids.

In the first few months the guys helped you extremely to immerse yourself in the K-Pop world and even though it was very different from the media world in America, your experience helped immensely. Your contacts around the world were also an advantage for JYP Entertainment. Especially when it came to planning future projects and concerts abroad.

It didn't take long for a friendly relationship to develop between you and the kids. It was unavoidable, after all you were the same age and the boys were so charming that it couldn't leave anyone distant. They did not attach importance to a professional relationship and loved it just to have fun and tease each other all the time.

Each one had his own charm and you admired not only their talent, but also their enormous amount of work and drive they put into every little detail of their career.

You quickly realized that they were like brothers to each other as well, and especially through Chan, you got to know many stories from their trainee-days.

The night at the club has remained unmentioned ever since. As if it had never happened, but you couldn't stop the memories from playing like a movie in front of your inner eye when Chan came into your office with a warm smile, when he stretched out on the sofa in the studio, or when he kept looking at you to see if you liked his concepts for new songs.

To be honest, you had already become a huge fan of their music in the first few days and the fact that they produced everything themselves was even more impressive.

Chan still went out of his way to make you feel welcome and although it was your job to make sure everything went smoothly and without a hitch for the guys, it was him who was constantly concerned about your well-being.

It was Monday morning when you walked into your office with your eyes on the schedule for today. You set the Ipad down on your desk and sighed because of the huge amount of work, that heads in-front of you. The Comeback of Straykids was planned to take place in a few month and you would have to get a lot of thing done, before that could happen. When you lifted your eyes, you couldn't help but grin.

Like every morning, there was a steaming mug of coffee on your desk.

It had started when Felix had seemingly casually asked how you liked your coffee best.

Chan had been sitting at his laptop with thick headphones on his ears. Which is exactly why you were even more surprised when there had been a matcha latte macchiato on your table the next morning and Chan was the only one already in the building.

It was always like that. The leader was the first one in the studio early in the morning and usually the last one to leave. You were sure by now that he often didn't even go home at all.

Just as you took a sip of the hot coffee, a message popped up on your phone.

"The song is ready. Wanna hear it first?"

Immediately, you jumped up and ran to Chan in the studio. He was sitting in his chair and turned to you when you walked in.

He had a mug of black coffee in front of him as well, and smiled broadly when he saw the mug he bought you in your hand.

"Good morning, beautiful", he chirped.

"Morning, Channie. Already working?", you asked and he nodded sleepy.

"I also tried the one with matcha powder today because you're so excited about it“, he said as you dropped down on the sofa behind him.

"So?", you asked eagerly, clasping the warm cup with both hands.

Along the way, you slipped off your black pumps and pulled your legs up to get comfortable on the sofa. When it was just you and the boys, nothing felt like work and they had made sure you could completely relax in their presence.

It was nice to see that they trusted you too and were themselves when you are together.

Chan scrunched his nose and turned all the way around to face you.

"It tastes horrible. How can you drink that?"

You furrowed your eyebrows and pointed at his half-empty cup.

"That didn't stop you from drinking it!"

"Caffeine is caffeine.“

Chan leaned back and clasped his hands behind his head.

As he did, you looked at him properly for the first time today. His hair was curly and a complete mess. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked exhausted.

Your eyes wandered over the empty ramen cups and water bottles that were all over his desk.

"Channie, have you been here all night again?", you asked cautiously, setting the cup down on the table.

He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and yawned in confirmation.

"Jisung sent me his part yesterday and it took me all night to revise the track. But now it's finished."

Worried you pressed your lips together and sighed.

"I know! Don't look at me like that and don't say it! Please."

But you said it anyway:

"Chan, you need to sleep more and take a break too!"

„It's funny, that you say that“, he muttered when he had already turned back to his screen.

"Excuse me?", you asked, and he glanced over his shoulder.

"You didn't get out of your office until midnight last night. You think I wouldn‘t notice?"

"Are you stalking me, you creep?"

He couldn't hold back his laughter now and clicked on a file on his laptop.

"You wish. You would like that, huh?"

Now you had to laugh, too.

"Really charming."

He winked cheekily at you over his shoulder and his courser hovered over the play button for what seemed like an eternity now.

"What's on the schedule today?", he asked after a few seconds, and that's when you couldn't help but grab a pillow and throw it at his head.

"Stop stalling for time! If you don't show me the song right now, I'm going to kill you! Seriously Chris!“

He knew that if you said his name like that again he could not refuse you a single wish. Chan put the pillow in his lap and squinted his eyes as he finally started the song.

You couldn't understand why he always were so nervous before he showed you some of his work. He and the other guys were real geniuses when it came to creating music out of thin air.

The beat was fast but melodic and when the first rap part of Changbin started, you were already excited.

The hook was already catchy after the second repetition and every single line was again something special.

By the time the song was over, Chan had pressed the pillow against his face as if he couldn't stand your reaction.

It was cute that he seemed to care so much about your opinion, even though millions of people loved what he created.

Carefully, he lowered the pillow and looked at you in fear.

"What do you think?", he asked, and you leaned back on the couch.

"Please be honest!"

Briefly, you paused and looked at him. His hopeful face was so cute that you had to look at the floor to keep from staring.

"It's okay", you replied, crossing your arms unimpressed.

Chan looked like he was going to cry at any moment and gripped the pillow so tightly that his knuckles stood out white.

"Okay?", he repeated back to you, and you immediately felt sorry for him as he looked disappointedly at his screen, as if he could figure out the mistake that way.

"Maybe I should have arranged the first part differently.... If I..."

At that point, you couldn't take it anymore and started to bursted out laughing. Without understanding, he looked at you again.

"I'm just messing with you! This song is amazing. I want to hear it again."

Chan now looked completely confused and didn't quite realize what you were saying yet. He was clearly too tired and you felt guilty for playing with his emotions like that.

At least until the corners of his mouth lifted dangerously.

"You really are unbelievable...", he muttered and you tried to avoid grinning like an idiot.

"Are you serious? You like it?"

"Yes. This is really extremely good, Chan! Can we hear it again?"

"For you to play with my feelings like that..."

Now he finally seemed to believe you, but before you could get to safety, he had jumped up out of his chair and tossed the pillow aside. A challenging glint entered his eyes and you got goosebumps right away.

"What are you up to?", you asked, looking up at him in intimidation.

"You almost broke my heart! You'll get that back!", he said, grinning like a menace. Wide-eyed, you slid back, but he was already leaning over you, pinching your sides.

You tried to fight off his hands, but since you were way too ticklish and he was much stronger, you just squirmed under him giggling and already had tears in your eyes.

Seungmin had found out by accident that you were extremely ticklish when he had teased you and lightly pinched your side. You had let out a squeak that silenced even Han's torrent of words. Since then, Chan and Han especially liked to take advantage of that.

"Stop it, please!", you pleaded, chuckling and pressing your back harder into the back of the sofa, but Chan was clearly enjoying your suffering and grinning wickedly.

"Then apologize!" he said, pinching your side again.

You gasped with laughter and shook your head.

"No way!"

"Then I won't stop."

Desperately, you grabbed his wrist and actually managed to pull him off his feet with one tug. What you didn't consider was that he was now falling on top of you.

At the last moment he caught himself next to your head and you stared at each other, startled.

Your heart hammered wildly in your chest as now suddenly his lips hovered just a finger's width in front of yours, his body was tight against yours and you felt the fabric of his pants against your inner thighs.

His eyes also wandered aimlessly through your face until they lingered on your lips.

Your breath stopped and you had to think again about that night at the club when you both didn't know who the other was.

Your hand was still grabbing his wrist and even though he had been working all night, he smelled like soap and woodsy perfume.

"Chan“, was the only thing you managed to say as his breath bounced against your lips. A Deja-vu rolled over you and he probably felt the same way. His chest was pressed against yours, so you could feel his heartbeat racing.

Then suddenly the door handle was pushed down and you scattered apart as fast as startled pigeons.

Your heart was pounding in your ears and you tugged your skirt back into place, which had slipped all the way up your legs.

Changbin was standing in the middle of the room, looking back and forth between Chan and you in confusion because of the strange silence.

Chan, meanwhile, was sitting back in his chair, his face pale as if he had seen a ghost.

"Am I interrupting something?", Changbin asked, and you both shook your heads vehemently.

"No! Not at all!", you quickly said and grabbed your coffee to give your nervous hands something to do.

Shortly after Changbin, Jisung, Hyunjin and Jeongin also arrived, they listened to the finished song as well, meanwhile you remained silent, trying to find a explanation for what had almost happened just then.

If Changbin hadn't interrupted you, what would have happened? This time you had been sober, and yet it had just happened.

It wasn't supposed to happen. After all, you were working for Chan. JYP himself would kill each of you if they would know just a bit of what had happened and even more if they knew about the unholy thoughts wandering around your head.

At some point, you felt a hand brush your knee and looked into Hyunjin's worried eyes.

"Are you all right?", he asked quietly.

Briefly, you looked to Chan, who was discussing another song with Jisung and Jeongin. Your eyes met for a moment, but you quickly looked away and put on a carefree smile.

"It's all right, Jinnie! I'm just a little tired."

Hyunjin frowned and looked less than convinced. To reassure him, you put a hand on his and squeezed it gently.

Glancing at your phone, you stood up and that's when the conversation in the room fell silent.

"I need to get back to work. Chan will you send me the finished song so we can work on the concept?", you asked monotonously.

Chan nodded curtly.

"Sure."

The tension in the air was thick and the others looked back and forth between you two in confusion. Then you left the room and, to your good fortune, your phone rang.

Thanks to talking to the choreographer about the new dances for the comeback, you were able to distract yourself for quite a while.

Later that day, there was a knock on your door. You looked up from the email you were writing to one of the makeup artists who was up for selection to come on tour with the kids.

Felix waved in greeting, putting a smile right on your face.

"Hey," he said, standing in front of the table.

"Hey, Lix," you mumbled tiredly, brushing the hair out of your face.

"Hyunjin told me you behaved a little weird earlier. Are you okay?"

You closed your eyes for a moment and smiled. Hyunjin and Felix could both sense from miles away when something was wrong. It was always remarkable how observant they both were of the people surrounding them.

"I'm just tired."

"Then take a break! We ordered food and we all want to relax together in the practice room. Come on, it'll be fun!"

"I know what you're trying to do. But I really have a lot to do."

"You're always making sure I don't overwork myself and that it doesn't get too much for me. Now I want to take care of you. You need a break too!"

When you made no move to get up, he came around the table and took your hands in his. Gently he pulled you to your feet and wrapped his arms around your waist to hug you tightly.

Oddly enough, that was exactly what you had needed just then. Felix's body heat and pleasant scent allowed you to breathe a sigh of relief at that moment, and you no longer felt as crushed as you had all day.

He rested his chin on your shoulder as you returned the hug and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"You don't have to say what's wrong. We just want you to feel better“, he murmured empathetically, stroking his hands over your back. His touch was so intimate, yet full of respect, that it took your breath away. As before with Chan, you simply felt comfortable in Felix's arms. As you break away from him with a heavy sigh, you continue to keep your arms wrapped around his neck. He also continues to hold you by the waist and only through this you feel upright again. His eyes look warmly at you and a gentle smile spreads across your lips.

"Thank you, Lixie. I needed that."

"I know."

His empathy was from another world. It was comfortable to be so close to him, tightly pressed at each other and your faces just a hand's width apart. His eyes began to roam over your face as his hands stroked up your sides a little.

"You're very important to me...to us“, he said in his deep voice, which immediately caused a flutter in your stomach.

In response, you gave him a kiss on the cheek, which made him freeze. It had happened simply because you could not express in words your gratitude for him. It was just a quick kiss, but Felix's body was suddenly tense. He had to swallow as his gaze wandered down and caught at your cleavage. He quickly stared at your face, caught, and his cheeks turned rosy. With a clearing of his throat, he carefully let go of you.

"Are you coming with me?"

With a warm feeling in your stomach, you finally nodded.

"Only if there's sushi!"

Relieved, he laughed and took your hand.

"Anything you want.“

His fingers intertwined with yours and he pulled you with him.

->Part 4

———————————————————————————© Yuna542 — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

Taglist (open):

@hgema @bookwyrm28

[stealingyourbones]

Submitted Prompts #130

*hands over a particularly shiny pebble I found on the side of the road and polished, in the style of a magpie gifting ther favorite human the One Pebble That is The Most Special, along with a sea urchin shell I found on the beach* I had a sudden idea!!!!

So, I've been reading some fics of Danny being married to the Core of the Realms (we need more of those, btw, they're really good).

And a student thought hit me:

As a halfa, Danny can easily go between dimensions, much more easily than the Ghosts. And the Core can't leave the Realms at all.

So they hitch a ride on their husband's shadow whenever he goes out into the world of the Living, so they can remain in the Realms but send a part of their consciousness with him. Naturally, this means a lot of movie dates, and walks along the woods and all kinds of dates between them (the position might've been kinda forced on them both at first "for the sake of Balance", but as they came to know each other better, the relationship developed, and it didn't just blossom. It grew exponentially, exploding like fireworks, until the most common gossip in the Castle was how much the King and the Core loved each other, and how they spent most of the time either curled up with each other, or giggling like teenagers in love).

One such date nights was a viewing of The Princess and The Frog movie.

Now, with his voice having grow deeper as adulthood caught up to him, and having shot up like beanstalks, plus having a spouse that looked mostly like shadows and smoke, of course Danny would go around quoting Dr Facilier's lines, and the Core acted out the part of the Shadow.

It was all so fun, neither could help it.

Too bad the resident Bats didn't think it so fun to watch some lanky fucker stroll the streets of Gotham at night, quoting lines from a very recognizable movie villain, while seemingly projecting his own shadow into existence, then opening a neon green portal and strolling through it while holding his shadow's arm and flirting with it.

Constantine almost had 10 different heart attacks that night when Batman called him and Zatanna to ask about the Shadow Man, who just so happened to be the goddamn King of the Infinite Realms. The shadow was new, there was nothing about such entities in their files. Although, when asked the next day, Captain Marvel seemed to sweat as the gods in my head seemed to all die a second time, this time of fright, as they realized the Core of the Realms had latched onto a new King and seemed to be in love with the guy, where before they'd despised Pariah Dark and refused his presence anywhere near them, thus throwing the Realms into a slow decline.

Well, at least it appeared THAT situation had gotten fixed at some point while they were on Earth with their son Billy.

[prolix-yuy]

Writers' Iron Chef #13: Lovesick

[PROMPT] Patching up a wound

[ADDITIONAL PROMPT] “Why would you put yourself through something like that?”

[TIME LIMIT] Optional, 10 minutes prep. time 30 minutes writing time Optional, 10 minutes editing time

Pairing: Joel Miller x GN!Reader

Rating: M, descriptions of wound care and blood, allusions to dubcon due to drinking and drug use. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ so MINORS DNI.

Summary: You've been greedy for Joel for too long.

Notes: Written for Writers’ Iron Chef Prompt 13

I've had a Joel story idea bouncing around in my head for several months now, but it's not much more than disconnected scenes and a vibe, you know? I decided to try and exorcise a part with this prompt. This was imspired by a scene in the movie Foe with Saoirse Ronan and Paul Mescal (which was excellent, btw) that got the creative juices flowing.

Thanks to @writersironchef for always giving the best prompts!

The blood that runs into the sink isn’t yours, but it is Joel Miller’s and that’s hardly better.

Laying the needle and scissors beside the sink, you dry your hands on a towel that doesn’t make you feel much cleaner. There’s probably still blood under your nails, half moons of frenzied memories you can look back on when you’re in bed tonight.

“Joel, what the fuck?”

“I need…”

He didn’t have to say much more, and your stomach sours for it. Joel could say he needed you to balance on the edge of a razor and you’d do it just for the fact that he needed you. Pitiful, lovesick, desperate you.

He’d shredded his back coming back into the QZ scrambling away from patrol lights. Tess split off from him, trades to be made and deals best done without her loyal attack dog. So he’d stumbled back to his apartment, stopping just long enough to knock at yours across the hall.

“Jesus Christ, how did you fuck yourself up this badly?”

“FEDRA’s patrolling our usual spots, think they’re onto us…fuck!”

You salved his wounds with apologies as you cleaned grit from long scrapes and worried at the beads of blood that melted across your fingers. The worst was a gash you had to close, infection too present a worry. Hardening your gut, you tried to disassociate how much like sewing leather it felt. Joel bit down on his belt and stuffed his face in a pillow, but fists still slammed on walls around you at his ruckus. 

“I’m done, I’m done, it’s finished.”

“Jesus ‘n Mary, there ain’t much left for you to piece back together at this rate.”

Walking back to the bed, he’s disheveled but alive. He asks for booze, which you find in a high cabinet. He asks for pills, reluctantly revealed to live in a false drawer bottom. You don’t have to say he can trust you with these secrets. Vices were too expensive for you most days. Once he downs both he lays back, injury padded with the cleanest cloths you could find. His breathing hitches, pants in pain, then slows as the drugs and drink take effect. 

And then it’s just you, sitting next to your neighbor as his body releases. 

You should go. Tess would be back any time now and you didn’t want her to see your longing. There are whispers about if Joel is hers, and while you know they belong to each other in a way drenched in darkness, you’ve never been sure if the claim is on their hearts as well. It’s just vague enough of a partnership that when Joel has a good day and shares an extra ration card, your heart flutters. 

But it’s too dangerous. He’s too dangerous, the both of them. You can’t get mixed up in whatever they have going on. Why would you put yourself through something like that?

It’s not the first time he’s come home bloodied, and not the first time you’ve pulled him back together. There’s trust there, but also foolish hope that life could march on and a man could desire you again. Maybe even care for you enough to break teeth and bones. 

A brush against your arm turns you back to Joel, eyes half-lidded but trained hazily on you. One large hand skims over your shoulder, down your arm and lands heavily in your lap. 

“Joel?” you ask, looking down at his thick fingers splayed across your thighs. He hums, low and rumbly as his lips part. 

He’s surely too far gone to know you’re even here. It would be best to slip out unnoticed, talk to Tess tomorrow about checking his injury for infection. 

But you don’t. You’re frozen as the calloused skin of his thumb catches on the worn fibers of your jeans. It’s a caress you haven’t known for years. 

He doesn’t know it’s you.

“Joel,” you say again, and enough courage bolsters you to slide your hand into his palm, the other circling his wrist. He’s so warm, thick-skinned against your fingers. You start to lift from the bed, intending to place his hand where you sat, when it makes a drunken path to cup your chin. Pressure against your jaw turns your face to him spread out on the bed beside you. His chest is bare, light perspiration beading along the cut of his collarbone. He licks his lips slowly, the slip of tongue drawing an ache up from the deepest well. 

“Hey there,” he drawls, and god, you could shatter from it. Tears build in your eyes but you can’t move, his hands drawing you down to him. 

“Joel, it’s…I’m not…” you choke out. It’s a final defense. He’ll hate you tomorrow, but you’ll have said something. His lip quirks, not quite a smile. 

“I know,” he husks before leading your lips to meet his.

You’re not sure he does, but you’re too greedy to say more.

END

[maxwell-grant]

So now that the series is over and your (really great btw) analysis of the final episode is out, I have to ask: is this where you thought it would be going? Did you expect them to adapt the "Penguin runs for mayor" arc? Personally, I have to admit, I didn't. I expected him to end this as kingpin, ruler of the underworld, at the proverbial tip of the iceberg - but I didn't expect the mayor arc to come in, and so soon.

(This imo also really shows why this series was necessary - because how else could they have justified having Penguin as the comedic relief minor mobster lieutenant in the first movie and as the political puppetteer gunning for the position of bird-king of Gotham in the second, going from an affable minor career criminal that (albeit with a lot of effort) maybe still could have been saved and led to a less harmful route, to a pure unlimited void and personification of the human capabitlity for selfish greed, lust for power and corruption that killed his own heart and soul, if not by thrusting us into a whole tv show about it? In Gotham the festering wound of coldhearted capitalism gets to be its own guy in an appropriately designed outfit.)

(Spoilers for The Penguin)

Yes yes yes, extremely second that second paragraph, "In Gotham the festering wound of coldhearted capitalism gets to be its own guy in an appropriately designed outfit",

Honestly, that this would end with the beginning of his political career was just about the only thing I expected and accurately called from early on, purely because it was always the show's mandate that he rises to power and that was one of the big Penguin Trademark Plots that the movie hadn't covered or gestured to - and with the total absence of Harvey Dent, the other major Batman villain who tends to go into politics/mayoral campaigns, it was easy to deduce that they were saving it for Oz. I think there were some things that I called as it was trucking along but before all of that, up until Episode 1, I think I was pretty wildly wrong about how this would actually be like, what form it would take.

I was pretty wrong about Victor and his fate, I was very wrong about Francis, I was COLOSSALLY OFF THE MARK about Sofia, holy shit, I thought early on that she was just gonna be like, someone trying to preserve the legacy (which is what she's usually done in previous versions) that Oz wants to burn down, or that she was just going to be the generic Prestige TV Crime Show protagonist this needed to sell Oz as a freakish weirdo by contrast, I was so fucking wrong about her and I'm so glad I was. l I think there was even a time I was very hesitant as to whether this would even be good, can you imagine.

They very much telegraphed from the start that this was gonna be about his rise to power, that he was gonna become Da Nu Kingpeen of Gotham and rise above where he stands in the movie. And he technically does do all of that, but also, it was very much not how I expected it to go. Like I said, he got the smallest possible measure of what he wanted, and at the highest conceivable cost.

The whole trajectory in our show showcases that Oz, by the end, really becomes a version of the kingpin. Not Carmine level – he has a penthouse but he’s around Crown Point in the east side of Gotham. He’s not in the wealthiest part. And then within that just making sure that we’re aligning all of Gotham City, the world, the stress of the city properly to launch into the film. - Lauren LeFranc

It's less that he rose to the top of the underworld, and more so that he dragged and broke the entire Gotham underworld down to his level. His war with Sofia destroyed all successors to the Falcone throne, the entire Maroni family, and all the gang leaders who fought over their scraps, along with Crown Point, just as he hitched a ride to Step 1 of an entirely new game of power that automatically puts him above everyone who's left in his old battleground warring with each other. He is still a far cry from having anywhere near the kind of money and power and influence and prestige that Carmine Falcone had, but he's already begun to ruin everything with only a fraction of all of that, and he won't stop clawing for more.

As LeFranc said, his penthouse and rooms are under construction because he himself is under construction, and we see now that it's less that he's rising and moving up in the world, and more so that he's dragging all of Gotham beneath him so he can drown it and be automatically on top of it. I had no idea things were gonna so catastrophically terrible and scary and ominous, and that The Penguin's foretold rise to potential mayor would be depicted as such a horrible prospect. All of this is just the shit he's done as a "bargain basememt hustler".

Unlike what I expected from the description of the show, this was not a competition, this was not a race to the top, or even just a race to see who gets the best seats on the Titanic sinking ship of mob crime in Gotham - this was never something that could be won, it could only ever mutate into something worse. This was a horrorshow with a clear as day statement of how we're all gonna fucking die because of this guy who is incapable of changing or growing, but will only push the city down further and further if nobody stops him. And as much as I expected Oz to change and develop and even grow more vicious and powerful over the course of the show, I don't think anyone was prepared for where this was going, for the extent that this wildly recontextualized everything he was in the movie, and where this would leave us for the next one.

[gettinshiggywithit]

「“ᴍʀ & ᴍʀꜱ”」

Scenario :- “hmmm what about something like being kuni's housewife idk i just want him to come home and eat my meals” ( @diagonal-queen )

Pairing :- kunikida x wife!reader

Genre:- fluff!

Type:- headcannons!

TW:- mentions of sex but no actual nsfw!

A/N :- here’s a little something i did for @diagonal-queen!Hope y’all like it!

Okayyy so you wanna be MRS kunikida huh?

Let’s see what it’ll be like!

First off if you actually make the cut? Congratulations!

You’ve effectively beat out 99.99% of the women population 😭

But no fr if u and Kunikida actually get hitched that means you are his perfect person.

No matter what flaws you have or you think you have,to him it’s all immaterial.

And if you ever get down,remember he chose you!

If you guys get hitched and you wanna be a housewife he’s all for it!

Its very classic, if u know what i mean.

And he kinda likes that at least this one thing could be simple(in his not-at-all-simple life)

Let’s go back to your wedding day shall we?

Okay imagine after a beautiful ceremony yall go back to your room and then have the most romantic night ever.

Just you and him in each other’s company~

After that you move into his apartment and settle down.

Kunikida is a hard working lad so he most probably won’t be around much after your honeymoon.

He goes to work everyday without fail and comes back home to you,also without fail. (Although sometimes he’s a little more scraped up and scarred than usual)

He texts you to see if you’re okay during his breaks and always lets you know when he’s goin on a mission and where.

If he needs to cut communications cos it could interfere with the mission,he tells you and reassures you that everything would be alright

And honestly youre only worried about his and his colleagues safety.

Cos like let’s be real, a relationship with Kunikida would be secure af! Because we all KNOW he would never cheat!

On days where he gets days off he still works at home🥲 (im sorry but buddy NEEDSS to have his stuff in order

But when he’s done he spends his time with you.

Whether it be baking,watching a movie or your favorite show,or just cuddling or vibing,yall are together.

And lemme tell you mans is talll

He’d be the big spoon when cuddling btw!

Oh and on days when he does work he looks forward to coming home to you and unwinding~

Oh and he LOVESS your cooking!

It reminds him of his childhood and it’s just that good.

One time you suggest packing him some lunch for work and he later got sooo much shit from dazai (that bandaged bugget was making kissy faces and shit and jusy not letting mans eat!)

One time dazai sneaks a bite and then he’s like “okay yeah no i get it now”

(buddy takes a bite and says, serious as ever, “Kunikida…this food is truly magnificent! Please tell y/n to make me some on the day before my suicide🥰. He gets promptly whacked on the head☺️)

Oh and this man can COOK

in any instance where youre tired or dont feel like cooking,mans has got it!

Makes a simple yet delicious meal and astounds you~

OH! And imagine for your anniversaries he gives you a card and as you open it he says “doppo poet!” And he turns it into a mini bouquet! (And when i say mini,i mean it.remember guys he can only summon stuff that are smaller than or the size of his notebook!)

Oh and he never forgets important dates😌

He’s a little new to romance but is surprisingly good!

And when it comes to more intimate times, he knows exactly what to do and how to make it enjoyable for the both of you

(ROMANCE AND/OR EROTICA READING KUNIKIDA!!!!)

And in conclusion,

He’d literally be the best husband ever.all parents wish their daughters could marry him

And here you were! Doing just that!

I wish y’all the best frr♥️♥️

Tagging: - @kemis-world @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit . Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours.

[elizais]

okay, okay , i accept tachihara bf hcs but how should i live without tecchou bf hcs😔😔

great question! don't think too hard bcs here you go!

tecchou suehiro, who does not understand flirting or how to flirt. which is a pain when you are trying to talk to him before starting a relationship together but a blessing when other girls hit on him and he doesn't realise it.

speaking of tecchou suehiro and flirting, he talks about you a lot. which shuts down anyone trying to flirt with him. for example:

"that colour looks really good on you!" .. "thank you, it's [name]'s favourite." "are you free tomorrow?" .. "no, [name] and i are watching a movie." "you're cute." .. "not as cute as [name]."

pre bf! tecchou suehiro, doesn't understand his feelings. he doesn't understand why his heart beats up faster.. his breath hitches or anything else when you walk into the room - but jouno does. and he teases him a lot for it.

tecchou suehiro, who is a gym rat. so whatever physical activity you do (walking, running, any sports) he does as well! even if he is bad at it.

tecchou suehiro, who i think LOVES walks with you. you can make the joke that he loves walks because he is a hunting dog but you might not get a laugh out of it. but he likes holding hands with you and walking through parks.

if you're ever watching a series with some sort of military in it: tecchou suehiro either says a random 'yeah' or 'no' whenever they do something. he does it subconsciously, if you ask him what he means he won't understand what he has been doing. but really, he is saying whether or not the hunting dogs do that.

tecchou suehiro, who is the type of person to go "are they a villain or a hero?" when he walks in half way through to a film you are watching.

tecchou suehiro, who is a human radiator. he is so warm. so warm. but he doesn't ever feel too warm or too cold.

tecchou suehiro, who is big on communication. even at work, when interrogating someone he will choose communication over force (canon btw! elizai does her research!!) so expect him to talk out stuff when he doesn't understand something.

tecchou suehiro, who shows you his food combinations. just know i am writing this one with a grimace on my face. this hc is a bit of an aside but his last name (tetcho) translates to iron stomach which explains a lot, presumably why he has these weird combinations.

tecchou suehiro, who knows an odd amount of facts. this comes into play of him being a bf because when you are feeling down there is a fact to cheer you up.

tecchou suehiro, who has an 8/10 cuddle game. he is mostly muscle so like whether that is a pro or con for you is down to you!! pro for me😋.

tecchou suehiro, who doesn't really use pet names. he will call you 'love', 'darling' and 'dear' and other classic ones but he is not a 'pookie bear' type of guy.

tecchou suehiro, who will melt if YOU give him a nickname. "hiro" is a fav of his.

tecchou suehiro, who should have come higher in my bsd bf poll but whatever ig

[i-smoke-chapstick]

hii!!! if you’re still taking any workaholics requests i would DIE for hcs of the boys having a clingy s/o please 😭😭 (i love your gotham fics btw! <3)

‘HOW YOU GET THE GIRL,

-WORKAHOLICS TRIO X READER-

⋆ Characters ↬ Anders Holmvik, Blake Henderson, Adam DeMamp

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; The big three with an affectionate/clingy gf!

⋆ tags/warnings. WORKAHOLICS!boys x female reader. FLUFF!!! Like, tooth-rotting. Especially for Blake. LET ME JUST SAY i had SOSOSOSO much fun writing this!! I’ve been dying for workaholics requests ;) Safe to say, all three of the boys are EXTREMELY into this. Please please PLEASE send in more requests for these boys!!! And seriously anon, I am starving and will write anything for anyone in the show!! You should send more in (wink wink) and thank you sosososo much <3 Canon typical suggestive content and drug talk! Anders being a little mean, Blake being a babe, and Adam being his own warning (per usual)

𝐴𝑁𝐷𝐸𝑅𝑆 𝐻𝛰𝐿𝑀𝑉𝐼𝐾

♫ “I want you for worse or for better, I would wait for ever and ever.” How You Get The Girl by Taylor Swift

Anders, Anders, Anders! Number one dad boyfriend, by the way!

Just like everyone on this list, he’s incredibly surprised to say the least. He’s just WAY more subtle about it. First rule of thumb for him; play it cool.

But…it’s kind of hard to play it cool when you are trailing your hand up his arm…and his eyebrows shoot up and suddenly he’s hard as a rock from the most base touches.

He’s embarrassed, he feels like he’s back in highschool.

Even though he’s the most expirenced out of the three, this guy still hardly gets ANY pussy. He can be an awkward reck trying to reciprocate. We see in a few episodes how Ders flirts…and it’s mostly insults. Like that one ep with the hot austrailian temp, or the college girls he tried to get beer for.

But please, give him a break! The guy freezes up. He’s not used to having a girlfriend PERIOD, let alone one that actually wants to hang out with him and cuddle all the time. So, he might awkwardly start fumbling on his words, scanning all over your body for any type of positive response. His legs do that thing when they close together to hide his painfully obvious boner, and he’s spewing out poorly constructed jibes.

He might be the only guy on this list to get slightly annoyed if your TOO clingy, but that’s really only if he’s in one of his moods. Like if he’s getting really serious about work, and doing pretty poorly, he can be a bit of a douche.

Remember when he got that promotion? Yeah, he’ll act like he’s on top of the world. You, Blake, and Adam will need to knock him down a peg. He’ll end up saying sorry, a bit begrudingly.

But, in other times…

“Wha- What are you doing?” He’s scrutinizing you, breath hitching, while you go to sleep on his shoulder. You’ve been waiting in the hospital waiting room for what feels like hours. Poor Adam must have gotten ANOTHER concussion.

You wrap your arms around his bicep, snuggling closer. He shifts in his seat, clearing his throat, looking anywhere but you.

“I’m tired.” Is all you say, shrugging. No big deal.

But it IS a big deal for him because now he’s hard in a hospital waiting room and he’s cursing Adam for getting himself hurt, because he could be at home with you right now watching all the 80’s movies in the world and spooning.

“Of course you’re tired. I told you, you need to get more sleep.” You smile against his shoulder. He’s always looking out for you.

He continues, trying to flirt to the best of his abilities. Play it cool. “Wow, your head’s surprisingly heavy for someone so small.” A pause, and an awkward not at all suave smirk. “Careful, you might crush my shoulder with that big head of yours.”

Please humor him. He doesn’t know and he’s trying his best. Que a really bad shit-eating grin, since he thinks he’s made you fall for him ten times harder with that one-liner.

He truly thinks he is the teasing god. Leave you wanting more! He’s so delusional <3 (heart-eyes)

DEFINITION of “If a boy likes you, he’ll make fun of you.”

When you two are alone, especially if he’s tired, he’ll return the snuggles and clinginess tenfold. Be prepared for long limbs to be pressed impossibly close to you.

𝐵𝐿𝐴𝐾𝐸 𝐻𝐸𝑁𝐷𝐸𝑅𝑆𝛰𝑁

♫ “Yeah, with pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks, cheeks.” How You Get The Girl by Taylor Swift

You two match each others freak SO well.

If there is one man who might be clingier than you, it’s Mr. Blake Henderson. The man is not only absolutley elated, he’s incredibly perpetually chill. Doesn’t bother him in the slightest bit.

He might get a little shy if you do it in public, but he’ll embrace it nonetheless and end up showing you off. Feels good to get back at Anders and Adam for teasing him all these years!

He has the lowest body count of all the guys. Not only does he have the greatest bestest awesomest girlfriend in the world, but she actually wants HIM? To touch HIM? To love HIM?

Safe to say he’s pleasantly surprised. Like, REALLY pleasantly surprised.

The love he has for you is crazy. We saw that one episode where he gets a girlfriend…he had a BUNCH of pictures of her in a shrine. Yeah…he’s just as obsessed. Expect everytime you two lay down together, he’s shuffling constantly, each second muttering “Just one more picture, I swear!”

ALSO, the PET NAMES. I mean, this man cannonically uses them all. “My love, Baby, Babe, Sweetheart, Hun…” the list goes on and on. Perfect mix of him calling you “Dude!” and “Sweetheart!” constantly.

Day-dreams about you. Giggles and kicks his feet and probably has a journal where he just draws hearts with your initials in them.

Gets on his knees and thanks the based god every day for you!

Also, if you two are both high as balls, the clinginess factor of the both of you probably increases by one thousand percent. There is something so special and hot about how he shotguns smoke into your mouth. All feelings are elevated, and he’s literally cloud nine. You two are laughing, talking about the most insane (and probably bad) ideas. Every touch feels heavenly.

His arms will hold you close to his chest, nuzzling into the crook of your neck and tickling your ear with his whispers.

“You know, It’s scientifically proven that cuddling releases oxytocin, which makes us even happier. So, really, we’re just being health-conscious.” He’s laughing softly, mispronouncing ‘oxytocin’, speaking in that matter-of-factly tone, saying anything that comes to mind.

“Oh, so you’re a scientist now?” You tease back, all hazy, feeling nothing but him.

“Well, I’m more of a cuddle connoisseur. It’s a very specialized field.”

You too are so dorky and in love. It’s like Michael and Holly from the Office!

Que Adam making obnoxious throwing-up noises in the background when he sees you two all over eachother.

𝐴𝐷𝐴𝑀 𝐷𝐸𝑀𝐴𝑀𝑃

♫ “She'll open up the door, and say, are you insane?” How You Get The Girl by Taylor Swift

Oh god reader, you’ve got your hands FULL with this one.

This man is so dramatic it’s crazy.

At first, he’s just as surprised as the other two. Just like Ders, he tries DESPERATELY to play it cool. Unlike Ders, he lacks the self-awareness to realize he is most certainly not. He swears up and down on his liveleyhood that this is totally normal for him and that he’s just a total chick magnet.

But you can probably feel his heart-rate shoot up every time you say anything remotely affectionate, or touch him in any sort of way. He’s internally screaming, “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!”

When he catches on that the guys are looking though, him and his masculinity feel a bit threatened, and he instantly pulls away. Can get a little douche-baggy. He’ll start avoiding you, distancing himself.

Blowing a fake raspberry when you confront him about it, his hands on his hips.

“What? Whaaaat?” He tries to lean on a wall and almost falls and recovers quickly. “No, babe, I’m not avoiding you! I’m just… really into personal space. Like, super into it. It’s my new hobby.”

“Adam, that makes no sense. Just be honest with me. Are you feeling smothered?” You’re understandably upset, pouting. Being clingy is one thing, and you can work on it. But he has to admit it first.

“Smothered? Psh- No way! I love you like I love… free samples at Costco. Which is a lot. Maybe I just need to balance my, uh, alpha male energy with some solo missions. Like a lone wolf.” He’s scrambling to save himself, “But not alone, because I’m with you. A wolf with a really awesome mate. You get it?”

You nod, eyes squinting in faux understanding. You know this boy inside out and you love him, so you know all he needs really is a push. Drama queen that he is, he falls for it like a moth to a flame.

Funny enough, all you have to do is exactly what he asks. You give him his space, go about your day, tend to other things…and he freaks out! My favorite idiot <3

Yeah…he ends up ranting Ders and Blake’s ears off. About how your not talking to him anymore, how much he misses you, and how he is a “stupid, stupid, dumb, dumb idiot.”

He starts subtly trying to show off more than usual in the living room, flexing and doing dangerously bad tricks on his rollerblades, asking if you saw them one to many times. He’s just acting out, and you and Ders and Blake are watching amused.

What you don’t expect is too get woken up in the middle of the night with a rock FLYING into your window. You let out a harsh scream, immediately waking up and looking outside.

There he is, struggling to hold up a boom-box blasting some sad 2000s ballad by Lisa Loeb. You’ll have to go outside, and he’ll probably burst into tears about how sorry he is and offer to do anything to make it up to you. Your plan probably worked a bit too well.

You’ll let him spend the night in your room, and he’ll be the little spoon, and he’ll know never to take you for granted like ever again.

From then on, he’s twice as clingy as you.

[senka-mesecine]

Ask and I shall deliver :) Itching for new platoon content even if the movie is old, I’m in the trenches

Some ideas to consider:

How do you think each of the men would individually propose/entertain the idea of marriage to their lover?

How would the characters make up ideally from an argument? Would they be the first to crack, would they make peace offerings, etc

What do you think the love languages of each of the men are?

-Sincerely B, love your writing btw!

---

I think people like Chris or Rhah might have a cynical outlook on matrimony as an idea because a.) someone like Chris pretty much lives to go against the established mold and pave his own path by his own admission, and by extension, not follow the expected way of things and b.) Rhah might spew the notion that marriage is a civilian institution (of hell) meant to break men's souls, drain their hearts and void their pockets...or something quite as melodramatic and lofty as that, but irony is, both of them are passionately the first ones to do actually get married --- Chris because he's possibly can't erase the idealistic, boyish suburbanite from his own soul and Rhah? Well, Rhah. He might be telling everyone about how marriage is an equivalent to a virtual ball and chain and then he could very well be praising his spouse in the next breath like they're an actual deity in his eyes. Make it make sense. But, that's Vermucci for you.

Same goes for him and arguments.

In one breath he could be coaching the other boys how they shouldn't give in to the barbed tongued Jezebels of the world and the let them run things but in another breath he very well could concede to everything his spouse wants like he's convinced they put them stars up in the sky singlehandedly.

Someone like, say, King, might very well call him and Taylor out on it with a quip like 'Hey, aren't ya'll both hitched back in the world or sumn'? What's all this crazy talk for?'

Speaking of King, he strikes me as a 'free love' type of guy, befitting the era, rather than a white-picket-fence-do-it-all-by-the-book sort of individual. He might think a paper isn't really necessary for these sort of things, in fact, it might very well be a hindrance that starts most of the above mentioned arguments and he just wants things to unfold naturally, no law involved. Just him and his baby, going wherever the flow goes. It really is that simple for him. Freedom, light and love.

Meanwhile, someone like, say, O'Neill, might be pretty vocal about the fact he's planning to get married, contemplating to, pondering it, that the date is set, that everything's organized, this, that and everything nobody asked --- fact is, he rants and raves more about it than his actual partner does. Everyone knows every nuance of everything going on on that front whether they like to or not. Everyone also knows months in advance Red's planning to scram on R&R too and have an elaborate honeymoon. He is not subtle about entertaining the idea of matrimony, and actually, one could get the impression he's showing off in the most weaselly way imaginable. Goes so far he could very well be bragging about the arguments he has with the missus too, like it's something brag-worthy, almost like he's happy to be having them. Possibly acting like he's winning all of said debates and 'setting down the law too'...which everyone knows he isn't.

Jesus Christ. Bunny and the concept of marriage.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I mean, he sees the definitive perks of it. Someone cooks for him, hands him a bottle of cold beer and he gets pussy on demand so what's not to like? Or at least that's what he's convinced it's all about, having developed a completely skewed image of what's what. I can firmly envision him and Junior having an elaborate bet on who could get settled down first figuratively speaking if they ever rotated back into the world and they'd egg each other on about it constantly. They both wanna do it, possibly for all the wrong reasons, even though Junior's more likely to play uppity, passive aggressive and hard to get surrounding the issue, acting contrarian to Bunny just for the sake of it, perhaps to outright annoy the guy. He might've developed a whole theory on how 'them broads are holding the man down and he ain't about to allow himself to be duped.'

Bunny smarmily might respond that he wouldn't mind being held down by broads.

Pervert.

He's also just as likely to say he wants to be a bigamist with a harem.

Might declare something as unhinged and positively juvenile in the vein of the government rewarding him with ten spouses for his (clears throat) exemplary service during the war. Of course, it's a privilege exclusively meant for him and him alone. People like Junior don't take part in it. Why? Because Bunny said so.

So, yeah, how about Wolfe?

Wolfe strikes me like he doesn't think about marriage actively but simply because it's a given it'll happen when it's time for it to happen, a great many things in his life having been paved in advance for him, I believe, perhaps unfairly so, with everything proceeding in straight, linear order. College. Some sort of military academy. Gaining rank. Active service. Overseeing the Bravo Company. And when that's all done? Matrimony. One can almost easily imagine it's an arranged thing as in, a literally arranged thing. Wolfe goes off and marries a General's daughter or something in that vein and just like none's the wiser how this dude of all people became Lieutenant, nobody understands how he scored that high.

Elias?

Elias has had bad experiences before.

If he had any high opinions of marriage, he's lost them somewhere along the way --- the folly of youth --- but just as true stands the fact that he's still an idealist in his own right, just maybe not exactly outright willing to jump into the fray and include the law and strict regulations into something he considers sacred, more likely being the notion that he'd mark his commitment through something like promise rings, some trinkets that can match, something of great importance, some vow, something he believes is just as valid as going to church do it. Isn't God everywhere? In everything? Then, by extension, a marriage can be commemorated in any way humanly conceivable according to him. He'd be content standing under the starry sky with you and consider that perhaps even more firm of a devotion that a mere piece of paper, because he's had the piece of paper before and he can tell from personal experience --- it ain't worth shit. But, since love languages are in the equation here? Elias is fairly selfless to the point he'd be willing to make it official in the genuine sense if it meant so much to his partner, doing it for them and because of them, because to him? Just being with them was always enough. Still, he loves them so much so as to consider them and their needs outside of his own comfort zone. He considers and entertains the notion of marriage not for himself but to make his partner happy and there's no two ways around it. Not because he feels pressured, forced or eclipsed into it; quite the contrary. In fact, it's his selflessness manifesting in everything he does.

Man, people wouldn't even know if Barnes was married.

Or when. Or to whom. For how long. They don't know his opinions on it and nobody has any valid information, mainly because nobody who knows him thinks of him and marital life in the same sentence without feeling there's something...oddly unnatural about that whole image, the same way they might not be able to validly visualize what he'd be like during arguments in a domestic sense; not without murdering someone. There's a blank slate where any intel on the matter should be because Barnes himself might think it's nobody's business anyway. He could be divorced, he could be widowed, he could be a bachelor or he could be a newly-wed groom and nobody would be the wiser about what's going on in this man's private life, again, because few people can even imagine him having a private life outside of touring Vietnam year after year after year, being what's essentially a Lifer. They can only speculate. He'd just do it, get hitched, get back to the field and act as if nothing happened, possibly all within a singular day or two if at all logistically possible, being the face of professionalism and stiff lipped discipline, not allowing the personal to get involved with his war. He could've been deployed back fresh from the marriage office registry and shouting orders the very next day and that's Barnes for you, being the exact opposite of someone like O'Neill in his approach who just can't shut up about it. Hilariously, while the men are only just speculating about marriage as a concept, for all his quietude, Barnes comes off like he'd silently be married the longest and most consistently.

"Probably because she's been buried under some shed all along."

One of the boys might come to a very antsy conclusion nobody dares utter any louder than through a mere whisper.