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popculturebuffet · 5 months ago

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Pride Month: The Pride Season 1 Review: Their Here, There Queer, Get Used To It (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people. It's pride month and once again i'm late to the party as things have been hectic, in this case catching up on stuff and then just having my body and mood crash entirely for a week. But we're back and once again Kev has some rainbow flavored treats he wants me to hand out. Also some stuff to review.

This time we're kicking things off with a look at 2011 comic The Pride, starting with it's first mini series later renamed The Pride Season 1 after coming to comixology.

The Pride comes from gay comic writer and gay rights advocate Joe Glass. Glass has written a ton of queer comics i'm curious to check out, with the pride being one of his first and most notable works and one that he still dives into ocasionally, writing a sequel for Comixology in 2017, a spinoff series the Pride Adventures, with a summer special and new mini series, Agenda Dysphoria, coming this year.

The Pride follows it's universe's first, and possibly comics first all queer superhero team after openly queer superhero Fabman feels the community isn't getting nearly enough representation on the bigger team, with this universe's justice league stand in being outright homophobic at best. So he gathers all the queer superheroes he knows and together they fight for truth, justice and acceptance, while dealing with a mad preacher who plans to turn people with the superhero gene into his servants to take over the world, as you do and be a homophobic jackass, as the church often do.

The Pride seemed to be a modest success, and is something I was curious to check out: I read the first issue years ago when season 2 was announced.. and wasn't impressed, but when Kev pitched it I figured it'd be a neat thing to look at. See if I was wrong about the book and it was better than I expected or if it was just meh. So join me under the cut for pride as their here, their queer, and they've got a bear, their the pride.

The pride is drawn by Gavin Mitchell, who does a decent job, having a cartoony style with sketchy lines I feel fits the book's old school tone with modern values approach well. The weird thing is.. Mitchell only draws HALF the series, drawing thesee first two issuea nd then issue 5, so the series does suffer a bit from the art being consitant, some is good, some is not, so keep that in mind as you see panels.

We open to a news report as some jerky reporters report on various other superheroes, including Crabman and Lobster boy, a mustached crabman.

And his young soon to be dead ward. I... badly want a spinoff with this guy I mean look at him

He's a crab man with a mustache, a human hand for some reason, and a sucession of lobster boys who died horribly but don't seem to be his fault. I also like how Fabman smiles at this. Like he just loves how rediculous the world of superheroics is. But seriously if a crab dealing with severe losses on a regular basis who dresses like Freddy Mercury isn't a spinoff pitch you want to hear, I don't know what I can possibly offer you as you clearly lost lost the abliity to feel joy long ago. Now if your against it because he MIGHT have murdered a teenager.. fair point. I don't think he did on purpose justding by his OH CRAP face, but still fair.

Fabman's in his civies.. kinda dealing with the fact the hosts of the newscast casually throw out homophobic shit about him rescuing "a hunk" and outright use the term trick. You know Kent Brockman may sell out to our ant overlords but he never pulled that shit.

This unease from the broadcast compounds when we cut to some kids playing with their toys.. and one brings out a fabman figure. The two other kids turn into homophobic shit lords... only for Fabman to show up and scare the crap out of them. They super run away and the kid, Billy talks to his faviorit hero, admitting he didn't choose to be diffrent, and wondering why people suck, hoping one day they can see how great fabman is. Fabman wonders that too.. and the gears turn in his head

We get a one page interlude as we meet our villians, the reverend and basher. The reverend has basher kill a guy for complaning about exploding a little, how dare he before rambling ominously about "Ma plans".

Fabman starts to round up the heroes who will be thwartin "ma plans". We first meet Frost, An english heroine, transwoman and lesbian into punishing "Naughty Boys". She's as cold as her power set, but game for whatever her friend has plan. She was beating up some assholes in an ally who made the mistake of trying to accost her. She's the best.

Next is White Trash, A tatooed white man with super tough skin who runs some gang bangers off a basketball court but has one of the kids he saved used the f slur. I do like this bit, with Fabman saying "it ruins the good feeling every time dosen't it".. that even rescuing someone as a queer person.. can have the person still be homophobic. White Trash brushes it off as while it does indeed suck, he's a kid: Kids can change... and is honored to meet fabman and hear him out.

We next meet my faviorites out of the pride as some homophic assholes are mid hate crime when one of them ups and hits another and we meet Angel, pansexual drag queen with the powers of a confusion field that messes up the brain pans for those nearbye and makes them attack their foes and Bear, hard gay man who can turn into a literal bear. While having a Bear turn into a bear is the most on the nose thing imaginable I can't help but love it for it's sheer audacity and the bear gets fleshed out so much over the series he's hard not to love. The two are close friends and a duo and Angel mentions Fabs offer.

The final initial member of our party is Queen Sapphire, an amazon whose black gay wonder woman, Nubia before she got to be that, and whose stopping an asshole throwing a brick at someone working at planned parenthood and who runs straight into fabman's abs. Lucky asshole. Fabman invites his new friend Sapphire to the meeting.

Th group meet at the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar Fabulosa, Fabman's hq. Fabman gets into it briefly with Angel over not including T in calling this a SLBG meetup.. this was long before non binary and asexual were as known or accepted, something I have heard the sequel corrects and is forgiviable given when this came out. I also like this as it shows queer people can mistakes in their own community. And having seen the massive dumptrucks of biphobia int eh owl house fandom (Though most of us are awesome) over Huntlow.. can confirm.

Speaking of which at least for this arc the team has none which does bother me a bit as there's a B in the term.. but no actually bi members of the team. I do respect Glass not adding one just to have one and going with the characters he had, so it dosen't ruin the book for me, but it is something I hope later mini series course corrects as the team DOES expand in season 2.

Fabman gives his full pitch

And it's sad that most of the speech still holds. The first part.. never really felt like a thing in comics: Sure homophobic jackasses exist and always have, but most queer heroes were taken seriously in universe. The problem was, and still is, that a lot of queer heroes are lower profiled, either due to being introduced later or being firmly established as straight. There's exceptions like Iceman and Wonder Woman, but both came out AFTER this series was published, and even now while there are more queer heroes than ever before, it tends to be a dice roll if any actually get pushed. As Fabman later points out, teams might have a queer member or two, but they generally tend to just hav eone. And when you look at the major super teams right now their pretty bone dry in terms of queer members: The Avengers, as good as the current roster is, has exactly zero queer members. The Justice League when last around had two (Black Canary and Hipolita). The Titans, dc's current main team has zero. I"m not knocking the writers, I get ediotrial has a say, but it gets to the heart of the issue: most of the biggest heroes were throughly established as straight. Jonathan Kent, Superman, is one of the few exceptoins and even then DC has no idea what the fuck to do with him after his initial push wasn't the roaring sucess they hoped for. While Queer Rep, IS way better these days, the lack of visablity is still an issue. For all this mini's issues i'm glad the pride exist for that reason alone: why NOT have an almost entirely queer superteam? one that welcomes the straights sure, but is mostly queer people being who they are and fighting for the world like any other team, while also repping the community. If the big two can't make superman gay, make your own superman who is. Who has all the ideals of the character, but just happens to like guys and wear even tighter fitting pants. Seriously I may not be into fabman but I respect his giant crotch bulge in the panel above. Size isn't evertyhing but it's still fucking impressive.

As for media rep while sexless is slowly being weeded out, he wasn't wrong at the time nad even now having the gay character be a joke machine is still a common device.

At any rate the team soon gets an audition: Twink.. who starts by taking his shirt off

I do love everyone's reaction to him stripping down and worry when he says he dosen't want to ruin his close. He dosen't have a super dong like fabman though, his power is instead.. basically colossus. This is Twink, a younger member.

And now as Fabman goes to recurit the team's final member with everyone on board, let's take a moment to adress the elephant in the room. Some of the cast falls into typical LBGTQS+ niches to the point it COULD feel sterotypical. I mean fabman runs a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar, and is camp as hell, and well.. do I really have to outline where guys named the Bear and the Twink fit into the gay community. And that's just what I do know as while being bi, I don't know how say Angel reads to a drag audience or Frost to a trans one.

From my limited perspective though it mostly works: The most overt refrences.. are coming from a gay man himself and feel firmly tounge in cheek, while the characters themselves are well fleshed out, something I missed on first read as I only made it one issue. As the series goes on they get depth to them that really helps them stand out.

With that they have a team.. but they need one last member. Naturally it's down to Fabman to go to a seedy bar to recurit him. Which may be an uphill battle as someone else in the community already tried.

Yeah our final member wolf.. is wolverine combined with batman but gay. Granted Marvel would have a gay wolverine soon after this, but props to Glass he did it first and Logan does have a lot of hairy gay man energy in him, so it makes sense. He has logan's gruff nature, love of bars and denim off duty, and batman's millions, detective skills and lack of powers. I love their back and forth: The two feel like old pals which is something hard to pull off sometimes in fiction, to make it feel that lived in without sounding force but the two trade barbs, Fabs treis to drink whisky and spits it out and eventually a barfight happens as a homophobic asshole makes a deal of it. Twink steps in to help and Fabs reveals WHY he needs Wolf for the team: Training. The team is good.. but haven't trained as a team and twink in paticular, while good for a rookie with his self training, hasn't had proper training yet. Wolf decides what the hell and our team is complete and so's issue 1.

We then get a few origin storys, something sprinkled thorughout the first few issues: First up is white trash, a kid in a poor community whose dad abused him, heavily implied to be because he was gay, and who eventually had enough, kicked the man's homophobic ass and became a force for good in his community. Then we have Wolf, who in a flashback is being considered by the justice division. Wolf is buisnessman thomas everett, who inherted a company when his parents died in a carcrash and had already been training to be a vigilinate. His massive success gets him the spot.. and we'll find out why he lost it later.

Next issue opens with Wolf in their danger room thing, having just cleaned up and showed off for a very impressed rest of the team. Fabman reveals he didn't just get wolf as a trainer: Wolf will be co-leader: while Fabs is the groups overall head, Wolf will be in charge in the field and of training the team.

Twink is super smitten by wolf and a big fan, having seen him in the justice division and wondering why he quit. As I alluded to earlier though.. he didn't. The bastards fired him and he's not ashamed to share why: Brian was closted as a hero as first, getting his big call to the majors, but teamed up with Fabs. While the two were never a thing, it was nice to have someone to confide in.

Unfortuantley the tabolids being the dicks they were caugh ton to the tow's friendship and glommed onto it. The Division.. were less than sympathetic, and asked if he was gay. When he said yes.. they dropped him. Mostly Superdude, the lead, who was concerned about their "family friendly image", which can go straight to hell and is also eerily accurate of how hard it was to get queer characters into children's media. Wolf's over it, though he also figures they weren't All on board with this shit, the Venusian in paticular being uncomfortable as their species has no concept of gender. It's nice nod to nonbinary folks and judging from tv tropes, this gets dug into a bit more next series. I do grant this is with the issue that most nonbinary characters tend to be aliens , but it dosen't feel like the cheat it usually is here, just a nod to a community just starting to pop out and the fact they explore what that means next time. I also wouldn't mind if mainstream jonnn was nonbinary, even if he still used masculine pronouns.

The next day the crew heads for their first training session, with Angel making sure Bear's up to this healthwise. We'll find out why soon enough, for now though he flirts a bit with white trash as the trio and frost head up to find Queen Sapphire and Twink duking it out. Turns out this is his plan: Have them spar so they can find out each other's weaknesses. They were also supposed to be here way sooner and he admits he's going to ride them hard. He dosen't use that exact phrasing because of the book we're in, but they need to be ready. They've worked indvidually but they haven't really worked with teams. It's something i've seen in superhero comics before, it was an issue when the x-men roster was cut in half by the mutant massacre and had to restock with people who either only had worked solo or with one othe rperson (Psylocke and Dazzler) or never done proper superhero work let alone team work (Longshot). The team is good, it's why Fabman recurited them but I like that they don't function as a team out of a box and don't have that team experince most superheroes have. In a mainstream comics universe 9/10 heroes have been on a team at some point and thus even if theirs synergy issues, the team can still work effectively enough.

Fabman interrupts as a fire has happened at another gay bar and they need to go save that shit as they really couldn't ask for a better debut. He's a bit TOO jazzed about that part, but still, even untrained, it's a simple search and rescue. Even if a villian is there, they don't need to be in top shape yet.

At the fire Wolf has Angel work crowd control and twink wisely points out he'll be more of a danger as a metal man inside a raging furance, so he's given back door duty. I swear to god these innuendos are not intentional.. they are fun though.

As frost uses her powers to cool things down a bit, they find the culprit holding some surviviors hostage:" Firebomb, a guy with charred skin, cool googles and a love of hate crimes. Seriously the guy throws the F slur around casually. The villians in this book.. are about as subtle in thier bigotry as a captain planet villian is at looting the enviromrment. And their bigotry.

Thankfully for our heroes Frost easily cancels out his powers while his attempt to flee gets interupted by a metal fist to the face. Our heroes first outing, I swear to fucking god they won't stop, is a rousing success. The pride then make their grand debut to the press, with Fabman even expertly fielding the slightly insenstive question of "Are you only going to rescue gay people" Of course not. This is simply about standing out and letting queer heroes shine. Their the pride and their here to stay.. and unforutantely for them the reverned is watching and one of them is now key to his plans.

Secret origins next. Angels is just a fun monologue of her other half explaning who she is and why she does this: Someone has to keep her "babies" in the community safe. Muscle Mary gets a more proper one, a nice twist on Wondy's origin: Like the amazons of theymiscera, they had man visit for the first time in forever but it was less plesant with one killing her mom. Showing ultimate compassion she choose to take them back instead, going herself to find the good in the world and protect it, debuting at a pride parade, hence the muscle mary moniker.

So next issue opens with the news. They even called april o neil the star reporter, who took a break from turtles business to do a man on the street. That also implies some form of ninja turtles exist in this universe. Crossover when IDW?

There's a mix of genuine support, your usual bigoted idiots, and one oprah knockoff questoning if they need yet another super team. The short answer yes, the long answer go fuck yourself. The worst of it though is that one journalist outs that the bear has HIV. Be sure that you see that he has HIV but it's not aids. He dosen't got the AIDS.

Twink is shocked by this and leaves for some air. Bear follows him and the following scene.. is one of my faviorites. While Twink is nervous and dosen't know much about AIDS, worrying it might be an issue in their line of work, Bear assures him it's fine: it's only transmitable fluid to fluid and he takes goo denough care of himself that it transfering by blood, imprable enough given he has super endurance meaning the only person who could bust him open is someone likely invunerable, is VERY unlikely and already is as it'd take a lot to get there. The two are good and with a ton of calls coming in the team answer them.. badly.

Twink gets the worst of it though as his parents called. They hadn't contacted him since they sent him to a camp to cure his powers.

We cut back to the reverend plotting ominously. Yeah this happens.. a LOT over the series and is most of what he does. You'd THINK this would be a way to flesh him out, figure out who this guy is as a villian and why he's sucha homophobic piece of shit. I'm not asking for a tragic backstory, but i'm asking for more characters than "BLER RELIGION GAYS BAD BLEGH". While, especially on diving in closer for this review, the main cast is good, the antagonists are just.. pahtetically one note. The Reverend is just a hateful old man who wants to take over the world. There's nothing to it.

Compare this to X-Men, because that's my baseline and it always will be: This comparison is a little left field as they had their own evil reverend, reverend stryker. Striker was also an evil old man plotting genocide and who hated a minority, in this case mutants, a stand in for real live evangelicals.. but the diffrence is the reverend.. was smart. Instead of Doing his evil work out in the open or relying on a convoluted scheme like this rev, he simply pedaled his ministries on tv. And given this rev has mind control powers, you wonder why he didn't just think to do that in the first place and work on broadcasting it before he got excomjmunicated. Striker is both more intresting and more dangeorus because like far too many bigots, he THINKS he's right, and tries to use respectablity politics. This guy.. is juts one lunatic with magic knowledge of genetics and a hulk literally named basher.

Back with our heroes they have isssues as Angel and Frost are refusing to train figuring their experinced enough, not getting their good ALONE not as a team. Even Bear sides with Wolf on this one. Unfortunately this argument about training.. comes just as someone else wants to argue with the team: The Justice Divsion ar ehere. Turns out the scanner for HQ hadn't been setup which Wolf is rightfully miffed by.

The JD are led by Superdued, the guy at the forfront of the "Kick wolf out for being gay" charge and head of the team. Think worst timeline shaggy rogers but with super powers. They've come to tell the team to stop.

I do like this bit as it riffs on a common trope in comics that frustrates the hell out of me and i'm glad to see it torn apart here with a much less sympathetic team to boot. See DC has a VERY bad habit of having the Justice League act like judgmental asses and try to put a stop to a super team. The Avengers have done this on occasion too, see the New Warriors series from marvel now, but it's very much a league thing. They've done it to Young Justice, the 2003 Version of the Teen Titans, the rebirth Titans, the rebirth Teen Titans, and just casually flipping through the redhood and the outlaws graphic novel from web toon while at barnes and noble, those versions do it to the outlaws. There's likely more I have no idea about. And that's not getting into Bruce's uber dickish habbit of trying to run any vigilante he dosen't like out of gotham. Sometimes the instinct is right like with Savant, most of the time he just dosent like not having control. The League is the big name in the land sure, I can respect that, but their not god. They shouldn't have a right to judge other teams unless said teams are say edgelord harmful asshats like the elitie or outright super villians. Yes the titans and YJ were their sidekicks, but they were also overseen by one of their own in the case of young justice, and experinced heroes in the case of The Teen Titans.

So it's very satisfying to see the pride. stonewall their wish.com counterparts, especially since Superdued talking over everyone.. actually stops the venusian from making actual progress as they make the valid point they might not be ready and may of got them to agree to simply not go out in the field for a bit instead of Earth 3 Spicoli and his bird friend trying to convience them to "stand down" or "Join other teams', both options they clearly don't want nor asked for. It's a nice exercise in false allyship: how most of the division just wants to shut them down.. when if they REALLY cared about them not dying: offer to train them. No reallly. Wolf is doing it and he got his tactics from them, if your that concerned about them dyign and not about them being openly queer if inexperinced as a team on this level, offer team training. They'd still likely refuse.. but the fact they jump right to disbanding instead of helping them be better unmasks how they simply don't want to deal with a superteam that's both this gay and clearly wont' just bend the knee because the big 7 showed up.

So naturally a fight insues. and our team do hold well.. till Angel makes a mistake and uses her powers. Problem is.. Venusean is a telepath so it broadcasts it to EVERYONE and destroys the place. The Justice Assholes leave.. but proved a point: They may not be ready. And wolf agrees.. not that they shoudln't be a team, fuck those guys, but that they weren't ready and Angel now gets why train as a team: because you don't know how your powers might interact in a fight. In good situations you can create a circut and do a super teamwork combo. In bad... it trips up your allies and you. Still Wolf's calling a break and while Fabman is worried this might've been a bad idea, wolf assures him no, he did what had to be done and this willw ork promise.

The two have a longer talk, and Wolf makes a valid point, and a meta point about why this team exists: The big teams often have maybe ONE person of color or two women and the women rarely lead. A team that's diverse stands out. And he's sadly not wrong. Marvel IS having Captain Marvel lead the avengers right now, but previously leaders were Cap, Sam Wilson Cap, and Cap again bitches. Sam is black, so that helps a little, but in general marvel tends to default to cap, while DC defaults to supes. John Kent wasn't even in the league in his time as head superman. These aren't bad characters, I love Supes and Cap a lot, but it's tied to my point earlier: There aren't a ton of a-list, big powerful queer characters in marvel or dc. Plenty of queer characters but for DC"s biggest it's just harely and wondy (And Ivy when she's on the good guys side), with Alan Scott for the JSA and for Marvel it's Teddy, Wiccan and Hercules for the avengers, no one for the fantastic four, and Iceman, Magik, Captain Britan, and Kitty Pryde out of the major x-men (Though to the x-men's credit there is a lot more queer characters than most comics stables) and Magik and Kitty haven't really gotten to explore their bi sides yet, both being confirmed bisexual in a one off joke and a panel that went nowhere repsectively. The PRide has it's faults.. but it is very nice for the core of a superhero universe to be it's queer characters. Hopefully they get more poc, but it's still more gay than most teams have.

Meanwhile Basher kills a bussload of people and kidnaps one. This turns out to be Bear's son with Bear getting the whole we have your kid speil after coming back from a night out with White Trash, who he also brought home. So a bit of a wash all things considered.

Origins again: This time it's , Da Bear, and his origin is one of my faviorites: he was a closted gay man who didn't realize he was gay till he became a bear man one day. In this verse, some people get their powers from the "X-Cel Virus" basically their verison of the x gene mixed with the viral nature of generator rex's nanites. He found out he was gay, got a divorce , and soon got HIV but soldiers on anyway.

We then get Fabmans one I honestly love. He's Stephen Wainwright: he always knew he was gay and not only did his parents catch on before he came out, but they were fully supportive, being nothing but proud of their son. Stephen, like the hero he's modeld after, is a kind hearted soul who only wants to help, helping consule those in his community and offer support. He later opened his bar simply to give his community a place to relax and be safe. It's this kind, open nature and pride in who he is that attracted some aliens, who had been watching him.. which would be creepy if they weren't clearly looking for a pargon of virtue to bestow powers on. Okay i'ts still a little creepy but hey they gave him powers for being a good person who isn't remotely ashamed of who he is and who always wanted to help people. I'm not going to judge too harshly. So like his parents and Stephen himself they coudln't be prouder.

The next issue opens with the team all meeting early in the morning, most not in costume. Angel had a show already so their the only one ready besides the Bear. We also get details on his relationship with his son and heartwarmingly.. it's really good. While The Bear and his ex wife naturally weren't on the best terms after the breakup, she never hid his son from him nor kept him. So while Jacob didn't grow up near his dad, the two did know each other and Bear couldn't be prouder

While the Bear wants to go after basher NOW, Wolf tells him to ease up a bit: not because he dosen't care.. but because it's an obvious trap. Bear naturally can't wait for common sense and rushes off. Thankfully.. Wolf saw this coming and his assuring shoulder pat included a tracer. He's going to have Angel fill him in, try to figure out who the hell basher is and hopefully fast enough to get there before this guy can really hurt bear.

Bear meets basher and Basher is naturally a dick, using the f slur, calling bear "Riddled with diseas" and generally being punchable. He wants bear though, and easily wrecks our poor ursine pal. Luckily our pal has pals of his own and a fight begins. The fight takes up most of the issue and is nicely tense with Basher essentially being a homophobic juggernaught. And while as a character his characterization begins and ends with "I don't like the gays", he is a decent threat at least. OUr heroes try EVERYTHING.. and come up short. They do dent the guy a bit.. but not enough and while Bear's son , Jake, chimes in, Bear's rage after Basher punts him gives the asshole the opening he needs to knock out or pal and run off with him.

Origins time again. This time frost is first as she has an interview with a reporter.. and freezes his research as she's worked hard to hide her past pre transition. She's not ashamed of being trans, and it seems Fabman knows, but her family disowning her fo rbeing who she always was is clearly a sore spot.

Next is twink who writes to his parents. It tells us mostly what the text has: he's a big superhero fanboy who always was one. Getting powers was the happiest day of his life.. but his parents instead feared this and sent him to madman to try an dcure him. Given the gay conversion therapy parallels you can probably guess WHO they sent him to. I certainly did. He's happy with who he is though and his freedom.

Issue 5 opens with the pride having a wake. Naturally assholes are protesting it. It's a weird thing.. but I respect the comic for using the f slur. It's not for shock value, it's simply being realistic, and it's something queer people face every day. It's something a lot of comics would censor but glass knows is necessary.

The pride haven't given up... but have a good justifcation for doing this: as Fabman points out superheroes have learned to "hope for the best, expect the worst". Given how many heroes end up dead but come back or were never dead, fair point. It's also been a few weeks, giving the team time offscreen to train. Speaking of which.. wolf asks Owen, aka Cub, to join the team. While Cub is straight.. Wolf genuinely dosen't care. It's not about exclusion, i'ts about family and right now Cub coudl use one. He tearfully accepts.

We also get introduced to Angel OUT of costume, Kele Amos and his wife. Everyone's happy to meet her and finds out Angel is pansexual. There's four absences though: Fab Man is taking the loss personally, even more than Angel and Owen who vow revenge, so White Trash went to find him, while Frost... seemingly didn't care to show up. Sapphire was absent.. because she went to go confront her at the gay bar gay bar, but not the gay bar gay bar gay bar in front of their HQ.

Frost is seemingly not effected.. but Sapphire sees through it: she's afraid to cry and be vunerable and while Frost is offended for a second.. she breaks down. The two end up embrasing and while Frost tries to come out at trans, Sapphire assures her she knows all she needs to know.

Their not the only hookup either as WOlf and Twink have a training session, with Twink frustrated they have no leads an daccidently bodying Wolf across the room. He kisses him in the heat of it, Wolf kisses him back. Another couple paired off.

Finally we get to White Trash and Fabman. Fabs naturally blames himself, but White Trash shuts that shit down: Harvey knew the risks, was out there every day in spite of them, and was proud of who he is and this team. He makes a cabaret refrence, for a drag queen he once knew and life is a cabaret: sometims it's good, sometimes it sucks balls. But you'll never get the good if you don't live it.. and making this team.. is living. So White Trash gets him ready to go out.. they don't kiss thoguh. Not his type. Also can Fabman mystically sense when other people ar ebanging or are the others hooking up that much of a forgone conclusion he just assumes it's happening.

After all this hooking up, Wolf gets a spooky spirit message from Bear, whose alive... Basher's using him for his evil mind control plot, revealing it's an evil mind control plot. Seriously is there anything about this guy that isn't a cliche wrapped in hate speech?

At any rate we get a brief scene showing the team's been training hard, leveling up.. and after Cub takes on the highest level of training bot himself, beheading it.

We end the issue on Bassher making a grand announcment to the world as he holds up Bear's bloody body hooked to the machine.

Final issue. As basher makes his announcment Cub, White Trash and Angel and Twink wonder why nothing's happening to them. Their all x-cel positive while the rest of the team has diffrent means. Since it's the only one I forgot to mention, frost got hers via surgery.

Taking an art break the art this issue is decent. Not as good as the other issues but fine. The other issue.s. minus the last one which swapped artists constantly including weirdly ending on Mark ellerby's art. And I fucking love mark ellerby's art but it's more cartoony and din't fit the ominous ending at all.

Our heroes have bigger issues as it turns out most of Justice Division is X-Positive, and thus only Morningstar (the bird asshole form before ) and the Venusian are left as they crash into Pride HQ. Luckily our heroes have been training for this.. both combat and specifically kicking the Justice Divisions assholes which give no homo zonker harris just suantered in trying to shut them down and a fight broke out rather easily, fair point. It pays off as the Pride easily take them down, with Angel in particular getting a nice subtle bit of redemption for botching the last fight, narrowing her focus to just superdude and sending him to the moon. After finishing up with a ncie combo attack, using fabs and morningstar's light powers on Twink's shiny skin to drive the last Divison Member left, a midnighter knockoff who also can move through shadows, down. Wolf also bluntly tells the Venusian and Morningstar to stay put for two reasons despite their insitance that, as the big team they should do it: One, they just koed most of their team, and two, they need someone to protect the city while they hopefully handle this. On this reread for transcribing this review as it's a perfect contrast to the first fight: The first time out most of the team squared up against someone, fighting one on one, a subtle detail I didn't notice but highlights how while they are a team, their not WORKING as one. While tw oget taken out solo, frost targeting bluebird's vocal cords and Sapphire/Muscle Mary easily handeling Mighty Miss (Their wonder woman at home), the first is a strategy they worked out just in case wolf prompts her for, and the rest are all taken out with team work. While it disapointing all the actual training happend off screen, it's an excellent way to show how it's paid off. I would've liked to see them come together as a team, no comment, but I also understand Glass likely could only get the six issues and judging from the fill in artists and especailly issue 5 being a whole GAGLE of various artists and clearly not being intended for that kind of setup, self publishing was a nightmare. It's no wonder the second volume had comixology's help and the third was funded with Kickstarter, to prevent this kind of thing from happening again. So it's that Hazbin Hotel issue of having to cram EVERYTHING they can into 6 issues as they may not get more. It hurts the story a little, but I understand the impulse and thus i'm a bit more forgiving if the story still mostly works.

Thankfully said dream earlier allowed Wolf to track them. As he explains when they get into their dope jet the crusier, there was some sand at the scene that was diffrent, coming from a former nuclear test site. Luckily for our heroes the radiation has gone down enough that the radiation isn't an issue.. but allowed them to track the Reverend down. We also get his backstory: the Reverend is Reverend William Franklin, who was kicked out after he was caught using his powers to brainwash his congregation. I like to think bibleman did it. At any rate his powers didn't work on X-Cels, hence his need for bear.

The team split up: Most of the team stays out front, with Angel taking out most of the brainwashed heroes the rev's summoned, while the team as a whole minus fabman, wolf, twink and frost fight basher. Wolf, Twink and Frost take on the rev's forces.. and it turns out.. they were also a distraction as Fabman cleans house. Outside the res tof the team has an excellent rematch with basher another nice reflection; Before each member fought him one at a time, this time they all work together and angel uses her powers to allow the others to sucker him. It's something I wished i'd noticed on first read as this book is REALLY good at having the team.. work as an actual team once their good and pumped in this last issue. Most team books tend to have them hit em one at a time, but if you have a team.. why not have them do a circuit. I'm not against the group fighting alone, but this and x-men 97 show why a good super circuit is awesome.

White Trash ALMOST kills basher but backs away.. unfortunately though.. cub does not and slits his throat. WEll I mean Basher did deserve it but i'ts not good for the kid himself to murder a guy ya know? As he sobs to his dad as he's freed though Fabman.. is also close, ready to go full red eyes superman on the homophobe.. but being the bigger man dosen't. He destroys the reverends book so he can't channel his powers again, which was just directly pulled out of his perfectly toned ass but whatever. The day is saved.

Their greeted by the entire superhero community they just saved.. who all cheer them. The Pride proved themselves and it while basher's about as complicated as a piece of cardboard, I give the comic credit for having an organic way for them to earn the superhero communites respect.

With that there's just one last bit of buisness, an epilogue finishing up where we began: two months later the Pride are now one of the world's most popular superteam, with both of the anchors no longer being homophobic jackasses.. I doubt they've actually changed, they just recognize they can't make snide queer jokes about the world's saviors. The pride are getting medals of valor while, fair play to them, the justice division not only admitted they had a don't ask don't tell policy but have removed it. The latters the bear minimum and never should've been a thing. The formers.. the part they get more credit for: it's rare for a public figure not forced into it by overwhelming evidence to admit they did something awful, so the divison not only admitting what they likely did to wolf, but likely apologizing for it is big.

Fabman meets with billy and the bullies have also changed their tune finding him awesome. Fabman is here because Billy.. is the one that inspired him to do this. The world wouldn't of been saved and he wouldn't have his new family without them. Billy returns the favor giving fabman his old action figure after fabs gives him a new one, wanting to give fabs a token of where this started.. and his thanks. The why.. brings a tear to our heroes eyes. He fought hard.. and now the world sees Fabman the way billy did, sees all of the pride that way and we end on fabs proudly flying away with the kids telling him to go change the world. Cheesy but it works.

The Pride... is pretty damn good. When I started writing this review, I found it okay. But as often happens my opinon changed the more I engaged with the work. Sometimes that goes the other way: I liked temple of Doom and Lion King II less the more I had to think about them. But here seeing all the little touches, how it has a decently fleshed out cast in such a short time span (With only Sapphire feeling underdeveloped by the end and even she's still decently fleshed out), and how the team slowly grow. It's not perfect: A LOT of the commentary is on the nose with all the villians being one not ebigots. I'm not asking them to be likeable, i'm asking for their to be layers to thier bigotry and hatred, how they operate. The book is not subtle and while it hurts it in the antagonist department, and the rev himself is dispatched cartoonishly easy, it helps everywhere else: As I thought about it the book does raise some really valid points about the big two. it'd be nice if the justice divisoin weren't cardboard cutouts themselves, but it's still a nice commentary on how superhero books tend to have one or two queer people on a team if at all. The Pride isn't subtle, is a tad messy at times.. but i'ts a lot of fun an da concept i'm shocked took this long to happen. An all queer super team is a brilliant concept and I can't wait to see what happens with them next time, next year. I'm all for making the Pride a permenant pride month fixture if this does well enough. For now it was a fun ride and I hope you enjoyed me jawing about it. Thanks for reading.

#the pride #pride month #gay #lesbian #transgender #pansexual #drag #comics #joe glass #queer comics #lbgtqia+#fabman #the bear #angel #wolf #twink #sapphire #frost #cub

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synamartia · 4 months ago

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First day of a stay-cation and I am in a GOOD FUCKING MOOD. NOTHING CAN STOP ME HAHAHA god i gotta chill tf out

Part 2, here we go~! ❤

♡ For all his efforts, he hadn't actually noticed you. While he tended to stay at the back of the room, you were always further back, on the balcony, at the bar. He went about enjoying his nightlife wholly unaware someone was watching. Because of this, he did things that were considered quite dangerous for a woman.

Baby's gettin' better at tailinggg~ 🎵

♡ Many more nights you buried your face into your pillow and thought about his hands on you, his breath at your ear. His "Shhh." You couldn't replicate the feeling. No matter how you tried.

GIRL SAME.

♡ Leaning in, you rested your hand on the hand he set on your hip and whispered into his ear, "Touch me again without my permission," you lifted his tie, a flirtatious move to anyone watching, "And the next time you see this tacky tie, you'll be shitting it out." You patted his chest. "Excuse me, I'll be right back."

♡ "Hands off, move along." The stranger flashed his identification papers, making the offender leave quickly with his head down. "Miss you need to be careful out here. There's been people missing from this ward. Pretty thing like you should be home."

Okay FIRST OFF-- *points up* We can look after ourselves. Second-- the FOREBODING FEELING I WAS JUST HIT WITH-- oooofffff 😭 Should I be scared? Worried?? aroused???

♡ I don't want this.

The fucking snort I let out at this line 😂

♡ "I don't care for liars." Alastor was in front of you before you could even shout from shock. You looked around him to see a crumpled body on the ground and a black car.

okay look, the fight part of my fight or flight instincts would've kicked in so hard right here like i would have decked him the second "I" left his mouth

♡ A waxed canvas was lining the inside, "Clever." You hadn't meant to say it out loud. He hummed happily at the compliment and you sank your teeth into the reaction. Everyone wants something; power, money, sex, praise. Find the right combination and even the toughest hearts would swing open.

You know what, I've always preferred the receiving end of the praise kink, but this line here got me wondering what the give feels like. 🤔 I'mma save this for when I get back to writing, try to explore it a bit~

♡ "Perhaps I should eat you?" He leaned close.

♡ His tongue as soft as his hands rolled over your own, every time your mouths pulled away and drew back together was thinning your frontal cortex. Alastor could taste the faint metallic tinge of the man's blood on your mouth, and he found his sleeping libido shiver awake. Always a fan of kissing, he now found his mind wandering to other parts of your body, other acts of affection, as he felt you'd call them.

yeeeEEAAAHHH BUDDY let's go! I. Am. Ready.

♡ "That's why I like you," a wink. "Wear comfortable shoes tomorrow." He flashed a smile, pushing his glasses up. Before you could question him he hopped into the car and drove off out of the back of the side street.

EUGH. WHY. *collapses in defeat* I have such a love-hate relationship with the slow burn. 😭

♡ He always took his time, sensing out those who were good candidates. The abhorrent, the abusers, the cruel. There was something so satisfying, deep in his gut, to watch a person with power over others cower in fear. The same eyes that relished in the pain they gave to those under their thumb shaking in realization the were now the prey. Begging for mercy they didn't afford others. Alastor sighed. He remembered your pained sob in the park, frustration and disappointment at his lack of reaction. Eyes fluttering closed, if you had gotten in the car you'd not be disappointed in him now.

CALLED IT not really

♡ Truth was he had enjoyed a whiskey and your songs for several months now, always at the seat closest to the door, out of sight and out of mind. His favorite of your casual dive bar digs were the trousers you occasionally wore. You looked so sharp.

I keep forgetting this is taking place around the time of the Great Depression and women wearing pants was considered SCANDELOUS back then. Love that you peppered small bits like this in there to remind readers of the timeline~ 👌❤

♡ "You," he leaned against the bar, "owe me a drink. And alcohol always pairs well with dance."

Oh, we owe you more than just a drink, dear.

♡ "Then talk to me like a man." Your glass made a thud as it hit the table. Alastor's eyes widened as they always did when you said something wildly amusing to him.

Do. It. do it do it do it--

♡ Alastor smirked, "Autumn Hind is not your real name. That is clearly a stage name."

Wait did I miss something? I'm stupid, what's the pun here--

♡ Swirling your drink in its crystal, you smiled, "It's a good one though, you have to admit." His brow cocked, not understanding. "Hind, a doe. And what do does do in the fall?" Your own brows rose suggestively.

Oh. OH-- okay okay i get it now 🙃

♡ He looked down now, eyes meeting yours gain, "That was before I knew how entertaining you could be."

Give us the chance and we'll show you just how entertaining we can be *eyebrow wiggle*

♡ His grin widened. "And your precision. One cut and that brute was down. It was remarkable." The hand holding your waist began to tighten. It egged you on, whether he intended it to or not, "I can appreciate the way you carry yourself." Your freehand ran across his vest, suit jacket left at the table, "I wish I could see more."

Oh. Oh no. Hazel, what have you done. You've awakened something DASTARDLY in me. HAZEL WHAT DID YOU DO--

♡ Alastor pulled you both from the wall and turned you, pressing your body into the sink. You were staring at your reflection, Alastor's eyes meeting yours in the mirror, "I'm happy to do many things for you... just not exactly what you're asking for; not right now. Not in this tiny dance hall bathroom."

asdfkjwlkjwf-- I'm banging my head against the wall rn but I love the slow burn, the chase so much AHHHHHH--

♡ "Okay, okay, affection received." You patted his head, pushing him away by his forehead. "Don't need to end the night in a paddy wagon."

oh Hazel you TEASE!! D':

♡ You turned around, partly acting like you didn't know him at all and partly hiding the way your face twisted. Unsure what exactly you two were doing, you didn't want to create hassle for either of you. Alastor laughed, "The very same! Alastor, it's a pleasure to meet you." With your back turned you couldn't see the woman's face, but she made a barely audible squeak.

I've never been the jealous type, especially when it comes to fictional characters. But the combination of your little tease just now, the caffeine from 4 monsters, and the heavy metal I got going on in the background right now has me ready to throw hands at words. WORDS, HAZEL. i love it give me more

*sprints to part 3* I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS AGES AGO.

A Doe in Fall (part 2)

I have a terrible case of the big bad sads so enjoy part 2 earlier than I planned

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦

Part 2 Liar

You not-stalk Alastor for weeks but don’t find anything blackmail worthy to grab ahold of. But luckily (?) for you, a chance encounter pulls you deeper into his hobbies and therefore his scope of fascination. Most importantly, do murderers go on dates?

「Warnings/Promises: Smut, HumanAlastor x FemBurlesquerReader, Alastor eats pussy like beignets (MESSY), dancing, shoe stress, murder, dead body, food metaphors, stalking, masturbation, Tommy is a bad dude, allusion to coerced prostitution, praise kink?, public sex acts, stage name is a fucking pun GOTCHU BITCHES, Gluttony」

minors dni please

The nights you didn’t work were spent casually looking for Alastor. Not stalking, just …. pursuing.

You found over the course of several weeks what places he never attended, and a few that he did like clockwork. As much as you wanted to approach him, you knew you’d end up checkmated again. You just wanted to observe the man, surely you’d see something you could use against him, something tangible.

What was he doing? Knife carrying smooth talker who fingers ladies in the park? There was more to him than you anticipated. That addictive adrenaline rush was calling you to chase him. You’d catch him in the act of whatever men like him did, and—- well, you’d figure it out then. Was he a mugger, maybe? The knife would make sense. But he disposed of bodies so well, a month and no mention of a corpse anywhere. You didn’t want to even touch the thought bubbling up in the back of your skull. It was getting louder and louder, heavier than the other thoughts.

A repeat killer.

You decided, somewhat foolishly, if he was a killer it would be best to know that information. So you needed to continue even if the cards all read death. Right?

Right.

For all his efforts, he hadn’t actually noticed you. While he tended to stay at the back of the room, you were always further back, on the balcony, at the bar. He went about enjoying his nightlife wholly unaware someone was watching. Because of this, he did things that were considered quite dangerous for a woman.

Many nights you found yourself alone in wooded areas. Well, “alone”.

During your casual stalking you found him to be quite pretty, in a sense. He walked smoothly, always had pressed and tailored suits. Slender fingers, wide shoulders, small waist. Fingers.

Many more nights you buried your face into your pillow and thought about his hands on you, his breath at your ear. His “Shhh.” You couldn’t replicate the feeling. No matter how you tried.

If all else failed, no juicy blackmail available, maybe just endear yourself to him. Bed him. Get the conquest done and let him go on with his little crime spree or whatever it was he was doing when you weren’t watching. Because so far all you’ve seen is a man who loves to dance and enjoys whiskey.

After another show done, body sore, you did your tour of the theatre. Tommy was snapping his fingers at you from the bar, his attempt to tell you to come over. Every day he seemed to become more and more brutish.

“What can I do for ya?” You tried to keep a bounce in your step, arches aching.

“I want you to meet someone.” Tommy turned to a small man at the bar, hair thinning and combed forward. You guessed in his sixties. “Give Mr. Wilson a warm welcome. He’s one of your most generous benefactors.”

You nodded, smile slipping as you mind started to consider what was happening. You had heard some girls were taking dates, offering private shows, but you had been under the impression that was entirely of their own free will and desire. Had Tommy turned pimp? Your gaze flashed to Tommy, his stare cold, and then back to the man. “Well, thank you very much doll! Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Wilson.” Tommy saw someone walk by and followed, leaving you with the older man.

“Your dance was something else, sweetheart.” You nodded, his hand coming to rest on your hip. “I bet those hips do more than dancing.”

Leaning in, you rested your hand on the hand he set on your hip and whispered into his ear, “Touch me again without my permission,” you lifted his tie, a flirtatious move to anyone watching, “And the next time you see this tacky tie, you’ll be shitting it out.” You patted his chest. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

You pushed through the crowd and out of the front doors of the theatre. The air chillier tonight than past weeks. Looking around, you balled your fists. You wanted to hit something, break something.

Without any destination you tore off down the street, angrily huffing to yourself. You looked both ways to cross the intersection when you saw a familiar silhouette. A car honked, your hands coming up in apology as you finished crossing the street to follow Alastor.

Was your luck miraculous? Or malignant? You made it several blocks before a man stepped in front of you. You weren’t listening, trying to look past him to see where Smiles was headed.

“Will you fuck off?!” You pushed him out the way only to have him pull you back by the arm. Before you could let out your frustration, a stranger walked up to you both.

“Hands off, move along.” The stranger flashed his identification papers, making the offender leave quickly with his head down. “Miss you need to be careful out here. There’s been people missing from this ward. Pretty thing like you should be home.”

Your mouth formed various shapes, no words fitting.

“Detective Brady.” He handed you a card.

I don’t want this.

“Sure, thanks.” You snatched it with two fingers and practically jogged away. No sign of him, no indication where Alastor went. Were there any forested areas? He often took strolls in shady parks but you couldn’t remember any nearby. Turning around you realized how far you’d wandered from the fanfare and lights. The area was dark and deserted, not just Alastor but no one was around anymore. You stashed the card in your bra and rushed past an alley, giving up and deciding to just go home, when your ears caught the sound of dragging fabric on pavement.

Ice. Your blood chilled. Taking a few steps backwards, you turned to look into the darkened side street. You saw nothing, but heard a familiar wet sound.

Would it matter? Death?

You lifted your heels, walking on the balls of your feet to not make any sound as you approached the black shadow blanketing the majority of the side street.

A glimpse of brown leather shoes peeked into the light, soon your eyes adjusted as you too entered the inky darkness.

“I don’t care for liars.” Alastor was in front of you before you could even shout from shock. You looked around him to see a crumpled body on the ground and a black car.

“Is there a problem?” His eyes scanned your face, his usual smile no longer so inviting but instead manic and wide. You don’t know what possessed you, the adrenaline was flowing again and drowning out your more sensible thoughts.

Your eyes were locked on his golden brown stare, “Only… if you’re quite attached to his wallet.”

He burst into laughter, wiping tears with the back of his bloodied glove. A small smear of blood was left behind on his cheek.

“I have no need for it.” He reached down and fished it out of the man’s pocket, “And neither does he!”

You caught it with both hands, “Well doesn’t that make me the lucky lady of the evening.”

“Don’t speak too soon. I’m quite cross with you.” He gestured at you with the knife, “We had a deal.”

In what could best be described as an out of body experience you watched yourself rush to his side and lift the man’s legs, “In the trunk?”

Alastor stared at you, teeth showing as his smile grew, “I’ve seen films less entertaining than you.” A stifled laugh as he lifted the man from under his arms and you both carried him to the car. You dropped the legs with a loud thud, Alastor gently setting the man down and opening the trunk.

A waxed canvas was lining the inside, “Clever.” You hadn’t meant to say it out loud. He hummed happily at the compliment and you sank your teeth into the reaction. Everyone wants something; power, money, sex, praise. Find the right combination and even the toughest hearts would swing open.

After he tossed the man, the knife, and the gloves into the back, you reached for his hand. “Your wife is going to be miffed. Blood is so difficult to get out of cotton.” You scratched at the bit of blood that had stained his cuff. “Spit works really well. But lemon juice and baking soda before any store bought cleaners will help.”

Alastor took his hand back, adjusting his sleeve to hide the red spot, “Oh she has much bigger issues to deal with.”

Your mind raced. A chauvinist? Abuser? A weight settled into your stomach; disappointment. “Is that so?”

Giggling, he leaned against the bumper, one leg crossing in front of the other, “Considering she doesn’t exist, she’s quite terrible at laundry. And I haven’t eaten a meal in years.” A giggle devolving into a full chest laugh.

A terrible joke, you smacked his chest, “Cruel! Unfunny!”

“Perhaps I should eat you?” He leaned close.

“I hear I’m quite sweet.” You smirked, heart pounding in your chest with such force you were rocking slightly with each pulse.

Alastor felt his blood pressure rising. He should kill you. Just to be safe. But—- oh, this was so fun. You hid any fear you were feeling perfectly. He could be forgiven to think he was staring into a mirror. If he met himself in an alley, well, he would feel quite safe. Perhaps you we’re of a similar inclination?

He watched your throat as you gulped. You licked your thumb and wiped at his cheek, “You always make a mess, hun.”

Alastor felt the world spin as you then dragged your blood stained thumb over your lips, red lipstick smearing with it. “Sweet eno-,” he swallowed your words, hand coming to your neck and pulling you into the kiss. No patience, his tongue swiped over your mouth and plunged in at the smallest parting.

Your mind was screaming, finally, yes.

His tongue as soft as his hands rolled over your own, every time your mouths pulled away and drew back together was thinning your frontal cortex. Alastor could taste the faint metallic tinge of the man’s blood on your mouth, and he found his sleeping libido shiver awake. Always a fan of kissing, he now found his mind wandering to other parts of your body, other acts of affection, as he felt you’d call them.

No time. He pulled away, “Against the wall.”

You practically threw yourself into the bricks. Alastor pulled a gas tin from the trunk and began dousing the street. You frowned, body relaxing.

“You’re taking the food metaphor too far. Fire? Really?” You took a second to realize there was no odor.

A laugh in threes, “Water, dear.” You watched the blood thin and begin snaking down to the gutter. He set the can in the trunk and closed the hatch. After opening the drivers door he turned to you, “Do you trust me to drive you home?”

“Honestly, no.”

“That’s why I like you,” a wink. “Wear comfortable shoes tomorrow.” He flashed a smile, pushing his glasses up. Before you could question him he hopped into the car and drove off out of the back of the side street.

Alastor found himself singing a little louder as he drove home. A thrilling evening becoming somehow more exciting. He realized that always seemed to happen when you stumbled into his plans. Still annoyed you had followed him, his thoughts shifted to possibilities. A kindred spirit could make things easier. More fun. Safer. But who were you? Much like himself you wore a mask. He could see it clearly as it always began to slip in his presence.

He pulled his car behind his home, backed up against a large greenhouse. Still in the idling vehicle, his fingers came to his lips. What a peculiar creature you were. Killing the lights and letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, he considered what to do. The possibilities kept coming in waves. But he stopped himself, never one to live in fantasy. Helping toss a dead man into a car wasn’t the same as killing. Yes, you showed no outward concerns, but he couldn’t be sure you wouldn’t turn tail the second things got more intense.

He always took his time, sensing out those who were good candidates. The abhorrent, the abusers, the cruel. There was something so satisfying, deep in his gut, to watch a person with power over others cower in fear. The same eyes that relished in the pain they gave to those under their thumb shaking in realization the were now the prey. Begging for mercy they didn’t afford others. Alastor sighed. He remembered your pained sob in the park, frustration and disappointment at his lack of reaction. Eyes fluttering closed, if you had gotten in the car you’d not be disappointed in him now.

A deeper sigh. But you didn’t. Which was wise. He thought better of you for it. Opening his eyes and leaving the car, he went to the trunk to begin his work.

You couldn’t sleep. Not because of the dead man, you were getting used to that. It was the lack of information. Comfortable shoes? For what? He didn’t give you a time or place to meet.

Tomorrow was Sunday, you realized. Ah, the bar. That was the only place that would make sense.

Sundays were big nights for your theatre, but you weren’t needed unless a girl was sick. You simply weren’t at that level of fame for your little company and this was fine for you suddenly. You spent your Sunday pacing your small one room apartment and changing shoes.

What did Alastor have planned? With the little you knew about him it a could be a capital crime or a walk in the park. You genuinely couldn’t imagine and it was exciting. A normal man asking you—- was this a date? Was it presumptive to call it a date? You couldn’t quite see Alastor dating. You let the question go. Most men would take you for a movie and perhaps a chaste kiss at the door of a cab. With Alastor it could be literally anything. How do you dress for anything?

Your friend teased you, arriving early to her bar and chewing on your lip.

“So, either you suddenly wanna look nice for my dive, or you’re expecting someone.” She was wiping down the counter.

“I adore your customers, Betty.” You hopped from the seat, needing to reapply your lipstick.

Your singing voice was strained, nerves keeping you tense. Looking into the modest crowd you couldn’t find him. A cornflower yellow dress, a little too tight around your waist but you didn’t let that stop you. The collar a loose and folding slit from shoulder to shoulder, you were positively cute, he decided. Leaning at the bar he couldn’t see your face, but under the small lights you were glowing nonetheless. A little ball of pride rose in his gut, noticing you clearly had put more care into your appearance tonight than most Sundays.

Truth was he had enjoyed a whiskey and your songs for several months now, always at the seat closest to the door, out of sight and out of mind. His favorite of your casual dive bar digs were the trousers you occasionally wore. You looked so sharp.

When your set was done, you tried to be gracious as you left the piano’s side. Alastor watched you from his seat, letting your face light up once again when you recognized him. He gave a noticeable look to your shoes.

“Those will do.”

“Do what?”

“You,” he leaned against the bar, “owe me a drink. And alcohol always pairs well with dance.”

Maybe a date, you thought. You offered him your arm, “Lead the way.”

As you walked, arm in arm, you found yourself not needing to speak much. His arm was so solid in yours. You felt like everyone was looking, the handsome man and the pretty young thing. Did you two look sweet? Like the cleanest cut kids in the neighborhood? Did you look like the kind of people who sat in pews once a week and clasped hands over dinner?

Did you look like the sort to toss bodies in cars? No, decidedly not. And it made you feel powerful. What a perfect act. The feeling of looking nothing like what you were was akin to the addicting rush of your cat and mouse game with most men.

“Do you like those group dances? Like the Big Apple?” Alastor asked as he opened the doors for you.

“Not particularly…”

“Perfect, neither do I.” He laughed.

A small table in a small nook of a booth lining the small dance floor. You clinked your glasses together, no toast necessary, and watched the couples swing around the room. As the 20’s were fading from the rear view, you all hoped dance would be less stigmatized. But part of the fun was how scandalous it was.

“How was your day? Made it home safe and sound?” Alastor crossed his legs and leaned into the plush booth seat.

Oh, this was going to be… normal? You choked a little on your drink, surprised. “Honestly?”

“Always.”

“I sat in my apartment changing my shoes repeatedly.”

Alastor’s laugh was loud and sharp, but you didn’t find it obnoxious. You liked it.

“That wasn’t my intention. I just didn’t want to risk you being unable to dance.”

You rolled your eyes, taking a slow sip with your gaze on the dancers, “Ya know how to avoid that? Tell me to wear shoes for dancing.”

A snicker, “Perhaps I’m not quite as skilled with talking to women as I like to think.”

“Then talk to me like a man.” Your glass made a thud as it hit the table. Alastor’s eyes widened as they always did when you said something wildly amusing to him.

“Hmm, I don’t talk much to men.” He thought, “Not for long conversations, that is.” Your mind conjured up the two dead men. “I never asked your name. Is it too late now?”

“You saw it on the posters. Autumn.”

Alastor smirked, “Autumn Hind is not your real name. That is clearly a stage name.”

Swirling your drink in its crystal, you smiled, “It’s a good one though, you have to admit.” His brow cocked, not understanding. “Hind, a doe. And what do does do in the fall?” Your own brows rose suggestively.

Alastor hit the table, “A deer pun?! Oh darling, we’re going to be fast friends.” He offered you his glass for another wordless toast.

“I thought it was pretty funny, for a burlesque dancer no less. A horny little deer prancing on stage. Better than Allie Way and Frosti Winters.” You grinned into the glass, proud of yourself.

You could see Alastor physically relax beside you, dancers moving about in front of you both.

“And yours? Your day, that is.”

He hummed, “I slept late, stayed up late. Took care of our newly penniless friend.”

You wanted to ask more, what did you do with him? Can I come next time? Is there a pool of gators somewhere eating well today?

He leaned in to you, “May I have this dance?”

Your smile was uncontained, all desire to control your outward appearance was lost in the fun of dancing with your newest partner. Was there anyone else in the room with you anymore? Who knows. The music kept playing and that was all you needed.

Alastor was a marvelous dancer, you noticed other women glancing his way, eye lashes fluttering but ignored as he focused on the movements. This was how you managed to not-stalk him so well, he was completely unaware of the interested gazes of those around him.

While he didn’t notice the individual stares, Alastor could feel the attention on him and it made his chest puff. He loved it, how he could feed an image to the masses and be seen as he saw fit. It was something you both had in common, even if neither of you had strong enough egos to vocalize it yet.

When the music wound down, a slow number for the lovers, you hadn’t expected Alastor to stay on the dance floor. A slow dance, one arm on your hip, hand in hand.

Now close, you felt you could speak without risk of others eavesdropping.

“Why did you invite me out? I have a distinct memory of you saying you had very little affection or time.” You were shorter than him, your shoes not very tall, so you had to speak up and at his neck.

“A man who says he has no time is a man unwilling to make any.” Alastor led you in a small sway along the floor.

“Oh so you just didn’t see me worth the effort before.” You said it half teasingly, half seriously.

He looked down now, eyes meeting yours again, “That was before I knew how entertaining you could be.”

You pouted, entertaining was not the word you wanted to hear. Enthralling, Enchanting, Endearing.

“There’s that face again. What ever could it mean.” Alastor’s head cocked to the side.

“I’m entertaining at work. You don’t need to take me out to enjoy my entertainment value.”

He laughed again, making you glare, “Darling, being entertaining is high praise. And you’re not entertaining at work. You’re bewitching.” He pulled you a little closer, “The way you make those men act a fool. Truly a sight. You wield a power many women just dabble in.”

You shimmied a little against his chest, “Well if we’re giving out compliments…” you remembered the satisfying hum from last night, “The canvas was clever, but the water in the cans was brilliant. Nothing suspicious about a little petrol in the trunk.”

His grin widened. “And your precision. One cut and that brute was down. It was remarkable.” The hand holding your waist began to tighten. It egged you on, whether he intended it to or not, “I can appreciate the way you carry yourself.” Your freehand ran across his vest, suit jacket left at the table, “I wish I could see more.”

Your chest pressed against his, trapping your hand. “Ooh, you are observant, little one. Why did you agree to come out? Still chasing my,” his hips pressed against yours, hand sliding down slightly to hold you close, “affection?”

Fingers playing with his buttons, “Hmm, debilitating fascination and your affection. Do you have any to spare?” You smiled sweetly up at him.

Your mouths were on each other before the bathroom door closed behind you. Alastor locking it without looking, one hand staying on your neck. The small room was just a single toilet and a bathroom cabinet with a built in sink. Little tulip shaped light sconces above the mirror made the room brighter than the dance hall. Your nails lightly grazed his scalp, him humming in return. His body was pressing yours against the wall, despite his thin frame he had a power to him. Hands on your hips, holding you firmly in place. Your hips tried to roll against his anyway.

“Is it praise? I’ll sing your song until I’m blue in the face, until my lungs give out just tell me what you need.” You whined.

His head shook softly, thumb pulling down on your chin to open your mouth. “It isn’t that simple. It’s not something you can say.”

His tongue swiped over your own, neither in your mouths. He tasted like whiskey, bitter and fragrant. Your eyes fluttered shut, feeling his body against yours. You were vibrating; the way you always did when he was near you.

Kissing, tongues, body presses. You were tangled together.

“This isn't… doing anything?” You asked, his lips coming to your neck. Sighing, your hand gripped his hair weakly. “That feels good.”

He shook his head into your skin, “I don’t see any desire to carry it further. But I enjoy it for what it is. And you seem to enjoy it. Is that enough for you?”

You wanted to scream, to argue, but as he pulled away and you stared up into his sharp honey brown eyes, you felt helpless to deny him anything. Did you need sex? Really? It’d been three months now without it and you were only recently clawing at the sheets with thoughts of Alastor. Being in his mouth was better than being strangers. Sliding fingers back into his hair and drawing him closer, your leg came up and hooked on his hip.

Alastor pulled you both from the wall and turned you, pressing your body into the sink. You were staring at your reflection, Alastor’s eyes meeting yours in the mirror, “I’m happy to do many things for you… just not exactly what you’re asking for; not right now. Not in this tiny dance hall bathroom.”

His hand snaked up your chest and lightly held your neck, you fought back a moan.

“Well, if it’s good enough for your wife….”

He laughed into your skin, other hand slipping down the front of your dress and cupping your crotch. “I’ve heard no complaints.” The way he anchored you, arms twisted and firm around such vital parts of you, made your whole body relax into his arms. A parachute safely secured around you as you fell. Mouth to your ear, hot and warm breath, “Turn around.”

Head spinning, you turned in his arms. Alastor lifted you up and onto the countertop of the sink, lips crashing back into yours.

The sound of music shook the thin walls of the room, heart erratic in your chest. His fingers slid up both thighs slowly, a familiar feeling for you now. His hands your favorite dance partner.

His eyes didn’t leave yours as he dropped to his knees, your legs closing in embarrassment before he slid his hands between them.

“Did you ask for more affection, dear?” He pushed your dress up around your waist, two fingers pulling the fabric of your panties to the side. You wanted to rip them off, damning your garters. You felt feverish as you watched him bury his face into your pussy. Your wetness was evident by how easily he glided through your folds. One hand gripped the counter, the other combing through his chestnut hair. Alastor kept his eyes on you, reading your face as he moved his tongue over your heat.

Mind racing for something clever to say, you opened your mouth but just gasped out his name as he sucked gently at your clit. One of your short heeled shoes you stressed over fell off as your knees came up around his head.

You were confident you made the right answer. With the music thumping along you didn’t feel any need to keep yourself quiet.

Your breathy moans and little hip rolls into his mouth made Alastor smile against your skin. He had learned many ways to keep people satiated.

With a struggle, you opened your legs again allowing his tongue to drop down and into you. Nose rutting against your sensitive clit with every movement of his tongue in and out.

A pounding on the door made you jump.

“People are waiting!” Someone yelled.

Alastor pushed his tongue deeper, wriggling up and down against your twitching walls. Your head fell forward, “Alastor-,” you choked.

He buried his nose into your muff, eyes closing.

The door knob rattled, “Hello!”

“Alastor.”

So warm. Your body was so warm on his face. Your smell was making him feel feral. Gluttony. The way you were twitching and heaving under his tongue, groaning his name. Had he ever felt so powerful while on his knees? Had he ever enjoyed someone else’s body in such a bloodless way? No. Decidedly not.

“We’re gonna get the key!” The man at the door said.

“Okay, okay, affection received.” You patted his head, pushing him away by his forehead. “Don’t need to end the night in a paddy wagon.”

Alastor’s tongue was still out, eyes glossy as he looked up at you.

For the briefest second you considered wrapping your thighs back around his head and waiting for the key.

You hopped off, grabbing your shoe and leaning to get it back on. Crouching down you kissed Alastor’s nose and wiped his chin clean with your handkerchief before pushing it into his shirt pocket. “Up, up!” Hand in hand you barreled out of the door before the staff could see you and rushed to the furthest corner of the hall.

When you stopped and looked back you saw a staff member looking around annoyed, a man putting his hands up and entering the bathroom with a huff.

Before you could say anything, compliment or scolding, a woman was in front of Alastor. Your hand slid from his naturally.

“I am so sorry. Are you the host of that jazz show?” The woman had her hands in front of her, nervously twisting the handle of her purse, “Sorry if you’re not! You just look like the description, tall… handsome… cute glasses.”

You turned around, partly acting like you didn’t know him at all and partly hiding the way your face twisted. Unsure what exactly you two were doing, you didn’t want to create hassle for either of you. Alastor laughed, “The very same! Alastor, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” With your back turned you couldn’t see the woman’s face, but she made a barely audible squeak.

While you were eavesdropping, a man offered you his arm. Your hand slipped to Alastor’s back, giving him a touch as you slid into the strangers arms for a dance.

He turned around to see you hit the floor and smiled, returning to the fan before him. After a few more compliments about his voice and his appearance, the woman shrunk a little, “Are you free tonight? I don’t have an escort home…”

A hum, soft smile, “Ah, I would love to see a fan safely home. But, alas, I am here with someone.”

What an easy excuse. It was nice to not need to lie.

“I see…. Oh, uh, your glasses… here, they’re a little smudged,” she offered him her handkerchief but he declined, pulling yours from his pocket.

“Danced too hard?” She chuckled, trying to elongate the conversation.

Alastor hummed, fogging the glasses before wiping them clear. “Eating, actually.”

“Oh you’re a messy eater, huh?”

“So I’ve been told.” He folded the square into a triangle and returned it to his pocket.

“What a… delicate handkerchief.” She looked at the soft yellow fabric and saw your yellow dress twirling behind him. “Ah. Well….It was a pleasure to meet you.” The woman sheepishly excused herself, letting him watch you dance around the floor with the stranger.

He’d never so explicitly told anyone his proclivities as he had done with you. Growing up he learned quickly his interests misaligned with other young men, but he didn’t really understand it well enough until he entered his early 20s and had to learn skills his peers didn’t. A man can only turn down so many offers for sex before people begin to question him. Certain rumors could be downright dangerous.

Your eyes kept returning to him, your smile meeting you eyes as you twirled.

While he had bed a number of partners, it was more often than not the result of physical reactions and what felt like necessity. The few times he genuinely felt he could enjoy in indulging in carnal pleasures he found himself utterly alone. He enjoyed dating, necking, kissing, but he could only keep some people so happy for so long. Quite a few women assumed marriage would solve the issue, and pushed him. Which made the inevitable break up easier.

His reputation was that of a rake now. The popular host who rarely dates but often canoodles.

He laughed to himself, if rumors spread of his recent antics with you he’d be practically blacklisted from certain clubs. Alastor watched you graciously leave your dance partner and hop up to him. If he were any other man, you’d throw your arms around him and make him swoon for you. But he was Alastor. Your confusingly respectful killer. So you stopped yourself, instead offering him a smile.

“I wasn’t aware you were a radio host.”

“You never did ask my job.” You both walked back to the table where his jacket was lying in the booth seat.

“Honestly did not care. Which is unusual for me. Normally my first question to men is what they do for work.” You tried to avoid looking at the bathroom before settling back into your seat beside him.

He lifted his hand and gestured for another round, “Should I be flattered or insulted?”

“Oh definitely flattered. There were much more interesting aspects to you.” There was a little space between you, a foot or so of emptiness.

You scooted closer, Alastor glancing to you before shifting his legs and closing the last few inches of distance. Thigh touching thigh, you sat silently while your drinks were poured and brought to your table.

“To sinning,” you offered a real toast, Alastor laughing his signature laugh and raising his glass.

“To sinning!”

His hand came to rest on yours, both settled on your lap under the table. Your cheeks were hurting, desperately trying to keep your smile looking demure and not stupid-school-girl-in-love. His fingers folded into yours, and you entirely lost the plot, face melting into a lovesick grin.

Alastor leaned into you, “Are you alright? Liquor already gone to your head?”

You squeezed his hand, “Different kind of intoxication, doll.”

The evening was, in a word, divine. You danced with reckless abandon and enjoyed various degrees of affection. You were surprised to see Alastor so open, you had pegged him as less wanting to draw attention to himself. But no, he clearly relished in making heads turn.

He offered you a ride, and this time you took it. You didn’t live far, you just wanted a little more time. When he stopped the car, you jokingly turned around and looked into the trunk.

“We’re very alone.” You mused. He hummed an agreement, getting out of the car and opening your door. “Wow and a gentleman.”

“A testament to my mother. If you’re comfortable, give me a wave from the window when you get in.” He closed your door behind you.

“I don’t mind if you know where I live, you’ll have easier opportunities to kill me, I’m sure of it.” Placing two hands on his chest, you leaned up, “Is a good night kiss too forward?”

Alastor stifled a laugh, “Quite! My image of you is shattered.” before leaning down to meet your lips.

When in the apartment you turned on a light and went straight to the window. Leaning against his car with both hands in his pockets, Alastor was smiling up at you. With a wave from you, he got back into his car and left.

To say you were on cloud nine would be an understatement. Clouds couldn’t carry the weight of your joy. You’d fall to the ground like lead, regardless of the cloud classification. And with that feeling you went to bed smiling, unaware of the dark catalyst barreling towards you.

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows

ADIF @multifandomfanatic02 ,

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan ,@valkyrie-expeditions

#alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #human alastor #alastor smut #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #fanfiction #alastor x reader smut #alastor x you #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin #synamartia #syn speaks

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nclled · 4 years ago

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“Yeah, yeah.. we all got names-- fake ones, alias kinda like codenames and some sorta label. Like a whole jam packed start to figure out when you wake up again. You know me as Raul. Yeah, name’s fake as shit. Can’t tell you what my actual name was in the past, but I can tell you what I go by now.” He decided to take a pause there -- just to prolong the moment for a dramatic effect.

“Richter,” he confessed with a small nod. A slanted smile played on his lips like he knew about something funny. And he did. He just hadn’t gotten to the punchline yet. “Richter the… wait for it..” A drum roll was rattled up by the sides of his index fingers against the table’s edge. “The scale. That’s it. Raul, Richter the fuckin’ scale. you wanna guess why I came up with all of that?”

〘 transmission completed :: starter call :: @hcilpaimon 〙

#[ closed ]#〘 richter ⇋ dialogue 〙#[ don't mind me casually diving right into the Truth ]

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number5theboy · 2 years ago

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top 5 scenes from tua???

I've actually done a whole Top 14 Favourite Five Scenes thing a while back, so if you want elaboration on what I picked and why, that's a good place to start, but back then, we didn't have Season 3 yet, and it was only scenes with Five in them, so here's a more general ranking. Season 3 is pretty fresh on my mind, which should explain why this looks how it looks. These are personal favourites, not objectively the best scenes, because I would have to think more deeply on those.

5. Five & Reginald at the end of the world (S3E09)

This scene has booted Five & Reginald talking in S2E05 down the list. I love this scene. I love the dialogue. I love the acting. Love the visuals. It's so good. Five is the only one that Reginald tells the truth to. Five doesn't know that, but he rattles Reginald in a way his other siblings don't, and it's so good. Aidan Gallagher genuinely channels comic Five for a moment there, it's incredible. I have so many gripes with the writing in Season 3, but this scene is incredible.

4. Allison & Diego team up (S1E07)

Honestly forgot how much I love this scene until a rewatch, but Allison and Diego are so good together when they're on the same page, and I love Diego almost confessing to killing Grace and catching himself at the last moment. The iconic Allison look after Diego says Luther was right happens here. This scene is barely ever mentioned, but I love it.

3. Allison & Ray on the swings (S3E06)

This one was just heart-breaking. It's the closest S3 came to actually making me cry (which both previous seasons actually did manage. somehow. don't ask how s1 managed, because the fact that it did and how it did is just. this stupid fucking show.). Emmy's acting in this...woah. And I love Ray and the way he was used in here...so good. That scene really hit, and it really hurt.

2. Everything Five & Lila do in S3E03

Okay, sue me, they have been on my mind, but their relationship in this episode is immaculate. How easy they fall back into their banter? Beating the shit out of each other because they are both angry at the world and the other one is a welcome outlet for that? The casual familiarity? Diego thinking they bathed together despite knowing what kind of relationship they have? Five being all 'young lady, you should wear more clothes (please don't try to kill me in the nude again)'? Lila watching him almost electrocute himself? The entire scene before they get back into the closet? Five being brutally honest to her? 'Oh, I hate that smile'? The hand-holding? 'Garlic is for winners'? Yelling about how much they hate each other while holding hands? Succeeding, for once? Incredible. Show-stopping. 11/10. No notes.

Commission Showdown against the Handler (S1E06)/Istanbul (Not Constantinople) (S1E01)

If you want a deeper dive, the above link has a deeper explanations, but these two scenes have genuinely been at the top of my favourite scenes list for forever. I love them both so much, they are so effective in what they are trying to achieve.

#Replies #lunannex #thank you it's always fun to think about favourite scenes #tua s3 spoilers

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captains-simp · 4 years ago

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@tomy5girls

Fhskdhwksnsns I accidently posted this before I was done writing it 🤡🤡🤡

I love Wanda so the first part took me ages to write but writing soft Carol made this either the messiest or best fic I've ever written

"Do I mean that little to you?"

"Was it all a lie?"

"I think I'm inlove with you."

Warnings: cheating and me fucking around with the MCU timeline regarding when characters are introduced

6.7k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Your relationship with Wanda had always been far from perfect. It was evenings like that difficult one that made you reflect on just how many red flags you had ignored. You had chosen to live your life with her in blissful ignorance, thinking it would work out.

But as time went on there were things that were harder to ignore. Things that hurt you to notice, both about Wanda and yourself. You thought they would go away. They only ever got worse.

That night was the final straw. You couldn't deny the issues that had been growing like weeds in your relationship for a year when you walked into your appartment to see Wanda's head between another girl's legs.

You didn't feel mad. Or upset. You felt empty. Empty at the long awaited realisation that you had committed to the wrong thing.

You didn't say anything, too shocked to know what to say and not knowing if you would even be capable of stringing a sentence together.

The woman's eyes flickered open and met yours and in that brief moment you saw the familiar look of lust before it turned to fear. She roughly pushed Wanda away as she looked anywhere but you and moved away from your soon to be ex girlfriend.

Wanda gave her a questioning look before whipping her head around to see you after following the woman's uncontaminated glances. She stood up instantly and straightened her shirt while the woman on the couch got dressed.

"You're home." Was the first thing Wanda said. Yeah. You were definetly done.

"I am." Your mouth was dryer than sandpaper but you somehow managed to say that.

"I should..." The woman muttered as she awkwardly glanced between you and Wanda before rushing past you and out the door.

Neither you nor Wanda spoke for a while. You were still looking at her, searching for any signs of...anything. She didn't meet your eye. She made no attempt to defend herself. To defend your relationship. It was downright heartbreaking.

You needed to sit down, but there was no way you were sitting where Wanda had just been. Not that knowing what Wanda had done on that couch had bothered you before.

You left the hallway to wander aimlessly towards your bedroom, knowing you weren't the only one Wanda had fucked in that bed, but you had never had to see that.

She followed you into the room, more trailing really. There was no urgency to her pace and she still didn't speak. Did she really not care?

You sat down on the bed and stared at the floor, mot knowing what to feel. Wanda didn't sit next to you. She made no move to comfort you. You didn't need comfort, not from her. You needed an explanation.

"When did it start?" You wanted to ask how many, but you already knew the truth would hurt too much. The ones you knew about were enough.

"I don't know." Wanda huffed. She sounded frustrated, as though you were wasting her time. That finally pissed you off.

"I deserve an explanation, Wanda." You said clearly, keeping your voice surprisingly steady as you looked up at her. She still didn't look back.

"What's done is done." She said simply.

"Do I mean that little to you?" Tears sprung to your eyes as you said that. Wondering for the first time if Wanda had really ever cared about you.

When Wanda finally looked at you you wished she hadn't. Her eyes were full of pity, watching you like a stray puppy in the rain. She moved forward and sat down next to you on the edge of the bed.

"I loved you." You didn't fail to notice the past tense, it cut through you like a knife. "But I wasn't ready." You had started dating so soon after Ultron. At the time you knew Wanda was grieving badly, you had questioned if it was best for her to dive into a relationship the way she had in that state.

Her self-confidence and driven nature always put your mind to rest. There were red flags before the relationship had even started.

"When you realised that...you didn't have to stay." Your voice wavered slightly.

"I know that." God the pitifulness was even in her voice.

"So why did you?" You held your breath waiting for that an answer. Wanda took a few seconds to consider that, like she wasn't quite sure herself.

"I like being around you." She sounded truthful, but you didn't allow yourself to believe her.

"When you weren't around them." You couldn't help the bitter tone that crept into your voice. Wanda didn't like that. Thinking she actually had any right to be mad at you.

"Oh for the- we had fun, didn't we? It's not like it was a complete waste of our time!" She exclaimed, standing up to face you.

"I wasn't dating you for fun, Wanda. It was so much more than that. I wasn't just someone for you to fuck like all of those girls, I was your girlfriend!" You felt proud at what you had said. You were right. About all of it. You were especially right to use the past tense. Something you didn't think you could manage to do. But that pride was short lived.

"You were a distraction!" You froze. Every fibre of your being turning ice cold from her words. You and Wanda stared at each other for felt like an eternity. She didn't take it back. There was an unreadable expression painted on her face. You knew it wasn't regret.

That's all you ever were to her? A distraction? Everything you thought you had...

"Was it all a lie?" You whispered. You hated the question. You would hate the answer. But you had to know.

Wanda's expression faulted and for a second the pitifulness returned. It was quickly pushed to the side when she spoke again, remaining stoic.

"Call it what you want." You bit the inside of your mouth in an attempt to stop your bottom lip trembling as you finally looked away.

"I'd like you to go. We're done." You whispered, turning away from her.

She left without another word. Her boots thudding against the floor as she walked away in the purposeful way she failed to show you that night.

The door to your appartment clicked shut before you broke down into tears.

You had gotten a hotel room that night, unable to stay in your own home. You couldn't lay in your bed without wondering how many people had been in it. Wondering how fewer it would have been if you had just confronted Wanda about it when you first knew. But you didn't, and those months of heartbreak were finally coming to the surface.

You arranged for time off of work once you got back to your appartment. Once that was done you flipped over the couch cushions, retrieved your toasted pop tarts and sat down to watch your comfort show under a bundle of blankets.

It worked for a while. The plates (yes plural) full of pop tarts and the hours of TV took the edge off of the numbness you were feeling. That was until a text from Carol brought you back to reality.

Care Bear: you okay?

You smiled a little. Carol was definetly something that would provide you with comfort, living up to her nickname as always. But she worked with Wanda, and the last thing you wanted was to make her life awkward.

Carol was your best friend. She was Wanda's friend too. That was how you had met. After Ultron Carol had introduced you to Wanda at one of Tony's parties. She had even been a wingwoman for Wanda, you pondered over what Carol would do if she knew Wanda had cheated.

The blonde had always been protective of you. It was sweet. Especially the small acts she never even noticed she did. Like standing closer to you when you were in a room full of self righteous jerks. Always being the one to catch you when you tripped over thin air, even if she was preciously on the other side of the room. Knowing when you were uncomfortable in social situations and casually taking you away from them in the most subtle manner that didn't cause a scene. You had never been able to confide in anyone like you could with her. Not even Wanda, although that was probably because she never shared either.

You: 👍 :)

Care Bear: --_--

Care Bear: Wanda's here

You bit your lip as your thumbs danced over the keyboard; evaluating the best response. You were surprised Wanda was even at the Avenger's headquarters. You had assumed she would be spending her nights with random hookups for a while rather than just one night. She finally had the full freedom to do that but she went back to the Avenger's Headquarters instead?

You: she okay?

Care Bear: I haven't seen her since she went to her room, doesn't seem to be in a talkative mood

Care Bear: you guys okay? 👀

Carol never liked to pry into yours and Wanda's relationship. She always let you confide in her. But in the cases where it was obvious something had happened between you, she checked in on you in the least subtle ways. Carol was smooth in a lot of way, but that was not one of them. It had become a joke between you and Carol ended up embracing it.

You: we broke up

Care Bear: CHSKSBSKSBAMZBMZDBAL

Care Bear: I'm on my way!!

Care Bear: or I can give you space to mope?

You couldn't help but smile at Carol's messages. Your reply was instant. You would love to have Carol binge shows and eat trash food with you.

You: come mope with me :(

Carol confirmed she was on her way less than a minute later and you got up to toast the last of your pop tarts and get a drink.

You weren't sure how soon Carol arrived on your balcony. You were sure very few things had made you happier than the sight of your goofy friend proudly holding up a multipack of poptarts while dressed in her sweatpants and goose t-shirt. The shirt was one you had gifted her for Christmas one year and if she wasn't wearing her Captain Marvel uniform, she was most likely wearing that shirt.

You got up to open the sliding door for her as you suppressed a chuckle. Carol appearing on your balcony without warning had stopped scaring you around the ninth time it happened. That was about the time you stopped trying to convince her to just use the stairs like everyone else.

As soon as she was in your appartment she threw the box to the couch and enveloped you in a bear hug. You wrapped your arms around her middle and closed your eyes as you held onto her. You smiled at the familiar smell of vanilla and cat hairs, being so easily comforted by it.

"Are you okay?" She muttered into your shoulder.

"I am." You said truthfully. You hadn't slept well the previous night, even at the hotel. You had cried for a while. But the next day you had felt better, as though a weight had been lifted from.your chest. You were still hurting, but you would be just fine.

Carol pulled away and rested her hands on your shoulders as she studied you, trying to find any evidence of a lie. Upon finding none she nodded and smiled at you kindly. That was something you loved about Carol. She never pitied you, even when the worst happened. She was sympathetic and supportive and never condescending.

"What are we watching?" Carol asked as she picked up the box on the couch and took it over to your toaster. She knew you wouldn't want to talk about Wanda yet. She would wait for you to bring it up. Until then, she would act as though you were moping because you were sick rather than the reality.

You replied to her with your comfort show that she had grown familiar with and sat back down on the couch with the blanket over you. Carol soon returned with two plates of pop tarts (it wasn't like you had eaten anything else) and two hot chocolates. What you really craved was some alcohol but you decided to leave that till later on.

Your blonde friend sat back down next to you when you lifted the blanket for her. She instantly brought her legs up under her and put her arm around you. You easily leant into her and rested your head on her shoulder before she leant her own head on yours.

Neither of you spoke for a while. Carol occasionally laughed at something on the TV and you found yourself smiling at the sound of her laughter more than the show. It had always been contagious.

Wait. Should you of been smiling that much for someone who had walked in on their girlfriend cheating less than 24 hours prior? Probably not. But then again. You had seen it coming. All the signs prior had softened the blow.

"You alright?" Carol asked again as a whisper as she pretended to keep most of her focus on the show.

You hummed in response and fiddled with the edge of the blanket for a while until you spoke.

"She cheated." You muttered. You could feel Carol freeze. Her whole body tensed up making her as stiff as a plank. Her shoulder wasn't as comfy when that happened. "But it's okay." You assured.

Carol took ahold of both your empty plates and placed them on the table before turning her body towards you so she could see you better.

"That's never something that can just be 'okay', y/n." Carol said in a gentle tone.

"I know but...I already knew before... before I saw." You could hear Carol breathing heavily as you avoided her gaze.

"Christ, y/n." She whispered. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I don't know I just...I guess I thought if I ignored it it would go away." Upon reflection you really weren't sure why you never addressed it.

Carol didn't say anything at that. You glanced up nervously to see her looking deep in thought, trying to understand what you meant. Carol was never one to hope things would go away. Her life as a hero had taught her to comfront every obstacle she faced.

"And you saw her..."

"Yeah, I did. I thought I could handle knowing what she was doing behind my back but actually seeing it...it was hard." Carol breathed out hard as though she had been holding her breath and pulled you into another of her infamous bear hugs. You wrapped your arms around her again and squeezed your eyes shut.

The blonde gently stroked your back in soothing circles until you moved away, not wanting to but knowing Carol wouldn't move away first and Lord knows how long you would have ended up staying like that.

"And you're really feeling okay about it?" Carol asked with a slightly furrowed brow, reading your face for any trace of a lie as you spoke.

"Yeah." You smiled assuringly. You didn't feel like telling Carol the rest. About how you had only ever been a distraction to Wanda. But there was something else you wanted to admit. "It was for the best." You started. Carol could tell something more was coming so she sat up a little straighter to show you you had her full attention. "Even before I figured out I what she was doing things just didn't feel entirely right with Wanda. She was great, but it always felt like something was missing." Carol didn't show any reaction to that. She seemed surprisingly stoic, like she was trying to suppress something. You figured it was probably just that she was thinking about what you had said.

"Enough about all that though." You said when Carol hadn't spoken. "You never got to tell me about your super amazing mission last month." Carol's eyes lit up at the mention of her successful mission.

There were some missions she wasn't allowed to talk about. Some she could. And some she could eventually talk about. Her last one was the latter and once she was clear to tell you about it she did, in great detail and the most animated way. It had been one of her best missions and you were incredibly proud. But you were interrupted by a false alarm at the Headquarters before she could finish.

You loved hearing about Carol's work that she was passionate about. You loved hearing how she could handle herself out there. Recalling some of those missions put your mind to rest when you hadn't heard from her in a long time. And you needed the distraction. Carol knew that.

You listened to Carol intently with a smile but the stress and upset of the previous events had you suddenly feeling very tired. Your eyelids began to feel very heavy and your head became empty as you felt yourself drifting off to sleep.

You woke up in your own bed, beyond comfused. You couldn't remember getting into bed or falling asleep. Still in a half asleep state, you tried to recall the events of the night until you remembered Carol. Had she carried you to bed? Had she left?

Your heart ached at the thought that your best friend wasn't there. Refusing to believe it, you wrapped your duvet tightly around you and trudged out of your room.

She was sleeping soundly on your couch with the blanket you had been curled up together under. You smiled at the sight of her looking so peaceful, taking a moment to consider yourself the luckiest person alive to have a friend as caring as Carol.

You came back to your sense when you realised how creepy it felt to be standing over your best friend and staring at her sleep, not to mention how freaked out she would be if she awoke to your duvet covered silhouette. But you didn't want to leave her side.

Carol stirred when she felt you kneeling on the couch. Countless nights of sleeping next to her had taught you she was a fairly light sleeper. You were thankful that she wasn't startled by you kneeling over her as you adjusted your blanket.

"Y/n?" She muttered as she rubbed her eyes to try to see you better.

"Go back to sleep." You murmmered back before laying down on her stomach and holding the duvet over you both.

You felt so at home in her arms. She didn't protest to you and instead wrapped her arms around your back and closed her eyes again with a content smile.

You rested your head in the crook of her neck and soon drifted back to sleep. Carol, on the other hand, struggled to sleep for a while. You had slept in the same bed before, countless times, but you had never been so close together when you did. It had never felt so intimate.

It was making the butterflies that had started arriving years ago whenever you were around dance around happily. As much as Carol tried to ignore them, her feelings for you only ever grew.

Over the next few days Carol visited you a lot. You had always been happy to spend time with your friend, but in those days you appreciated her company even more. In fact you were pretty sure you craved it.

She checked in on you often and stayed the night when you asked her to. You tried not to be too clingy with your friend, knowing she had a busy life and a lot of responsibilities to take care of and you didn't want to keep her away from her hero life.

It made the moments you could spend with her even better. You had always had that thought process with Carol, but it was enhanced since the night you slept ontop of her on the couch - something she never commented on.

You mainly spent your time together in your appartment, but on that day Carol had another idea.

"I promise it's safe." Carol grinned at you as you looked over your balcony for the umpteenth time in the last five minutes. You never really realised how high the sixth floor was until your friend was encouraging you to jump off your balcony with her.

"You need to get out of that appartment." Carol insisted.

"I could go on a walk to do that! You know...like a normal person." Carol laughed at your defiance to try what she had offered.

"Just five minutes, you'll love it." Carol said genuinely as she took ahold of your hand. You had never realised how her hands seemed to fit perfectly in your own before. You smiled at the sensation of a slight tingling in your hand upon contact with Carol's.

"Ease off." You giggled, shaking Carol's hand.

"I'm not doing anything." Carol protested earnestly, giving you a comfused look. You gulped and tried not to think about what the feeling was. "If you don't like it I'll bring you right back, you're safe with me - the Strongest Avenger." She said with a cocky grin, she had heard someone say it once and it went straight to her head. You rolled your eyes at her with a smile then paused, biting your lip as you considered the offer properly.

"Okay." You breathed out.

"Okay?" Carol asked with an excited grin.

"What the hell, sure!" You exclaimed. Carol chuckled and went to stand behind you. The material of her suit pressed against your bare arms and made you shiver slightly, you assumed from nerves. Carol had told you you didn't need to wear a jacket or coat, claiming her powers would keep you warm.

She wrapped her arms around your waist to hold you tightly against her and you gripped onto her forearms, not being able to stop yourself smiling.

"You ready?" Carol asked as the yellow swirls started to surround Carol and heat up your back and stomach. Blue and red glimmers occasionally appeared amongst the swirls and you tried not to get too distracted by the beauty of Carol's powers.

The next thing you knew your feet were slowly leaving the ground until the tips of your shoes were an inch away from the floor. You felt weightless and couldn't help but laugh a little at the absurdity that you were floating on thin air.

"Okay?" Carol checked.

"Okay." You confirmed.

As soon as the word left your mouth you felt like you were being catapulted through the air. Wind whipped your hair across your face and everything was a blur. All you could focus on was the whirling colours and Carol's strong grip on your waist.

You were going directly upwards for a few seconds until Carol eased you both forwards slightly, angled so you could finally take in your surroundings.

The speed at which you had been going to get so high in such a short amount of time was insane. It was impossible to know exactly how high up you were, all you knew was the faint clouds in the nighttime sky were closer to you than the ground. A lot closer.

The small gaps amongst the thin layers of clouds gave a glimpse at the stars that shimmered above you. The view below was just as breath-taking.

The city was lit up by the lights emitting from each building, each playing a part in the beautiful display. The lights shimmered and twinkled just as the stars did, the two very different worlds having the same beauty from such a height.

As Carol leveled herself out more you felt your legs drop infront of you and away from Carol. Your grip on the hero tightened in response to the new position.

"Do you trust me?" Carol asked carefully. You nodded, not knowing what your friend was planning but knowing you would go along with whatever she had planned.

One moment Carol had her reassuring grip on your waist, guiding you through the night air, and the next she was gone. You plummeted through the air in an instant, a silent scream escaping your throat. You squeezed your eyes shut tightly, not wanting to see the world spinning as you fell, but as soon as you were falling you were safe again.

You landed on Carol's back surprisingly lightly. You blinked a few times in shock, not understanding what had happened until you realised that Carol was flying horizontally and the position allowed you both to have a much better view and in a better position.

You sighed with a grin as stared down at the city in awe, your eyes occasionally flickering up to the dark sky. You rested your head in the crook of Carol's neck and wrapped your arms around her front, easing into her as easily as you had that night on the couch.

It was the happiest you had felt in such a long time. You felt safe with Carol, even from such a dangerous height and the whole event had you feeling more relaxed and content than you could ever remember.

A warmth spread over your body as the pair of you gently flew over the city. While you wanted to believe it was from Carol's powers, you knew deep down that that wasn't it. Because you had had that warmth for Carol on the coldest nights, you had had it when she was on the other side of the room, it had been there for as long as you could remember. And it was only getting stronger.

It didn't take anymore encouragement to get back into your usual way of life without any issues. Thanks to Carol there didn't seem to be much difference. The times that you would have been spending with Wanda you spent with Carol. She knew you were okay and that you didn't need her to mope around with you anymore - not that you had really ended up doing that together much. But you wanted her with you; she seemed to want to be with you too.

While you had slept in the same bed multiple times since you had on the couch, you never cuddled close to her like you did before. You knew that if you did that warmth would return. You knew, deep down, what it meant. However you had no idea if Carol's feelings for you were anything more than platonic, it was a line you weren't willing to cross, so you pushed those feelings to the side as much as you could.

Despite your efforts, those mornings you woke up next to your friend you found that you had your head resting on her shoulder or an arm hooked around her waist or one of your legs tangled with hers. She never seemed to mind, in fact one time you could have sworn you saw her eyes drop when you separated yourself from her. You told yourself you were just seeing things that weren't there.

So one night when Carol casually invited you to an Avenger's party you almost choked on your popcorn. You had always gotten along with the team - ever since the mix up on the mission that had led you to meet them and Carol. You had been to a fair few of those parties in the time you had been friends, but that party would be different.

Carol had assured you that no one else on the team knew exactly what had happened between you and Wanda. Your friend knew you didn't want people knowing and Wanda wasn't about to announce it, all the team knew was that you had broken up.

"You don't have to." Carol said quickly. "Wanda will be there." She informed in unimportant fact kind of way. "I just thought it would be nice for you to see everyone again. They miss you."

"They do?" Even thought you had known the Avengers for years, you still couldn't help but be a insecure before seeing them. You didn't have any powers or training. You always wondered what you could possibly bring to their table. Those worries were always put to rest once you were settled in, the smiles on their faces and laughter they emitted when you saw them was hard to fake. Besides, it wasn't like they had any reason to fake it.

You very quickly stopped being insecure when it came to Carol though. You had spent so much time together and knew each other so well that you never worried what she thought of you. She reminded you often of the traits she loved so much, it had been something you had started.

"I'd love to go." You smiled at Carol then went back to the screen. You never liked to make things awkward with exes. It wasn't like you and Wanda were going to become best buddies any time soon, but you were determined to be civil. You just hoped she would be too.

"Great." Carol concluded after studying you for a bit, wanting to be absolutely sure that it was what you wanted. "I'll pick you up at eight on Saturday."

"It's in two days?" You exclaimed, turning to Carol with a horrified expression.

"It is?" Carol confirmed in a not-too-sure tone, not understanding what the big deal was.

"Jeeze, Carol, give a girl a better warning next time." You huffed as you leant back against the couch. The blonde chucked next to you and muttered an apology.

Carol continued watching the film she had put on while you planned when and where you would get an outfit. You knew the dress code of those parties, that wouldn't be an issue, but part of you wanted to match with Carol.

"What are you going to wear?" You asked casually.

"Haven't decided yet."

Damn. You would just have to wing it.

Carol knocked on your door at exactly eight o'clock on the night of the party. You were startled at the sound of it at first, not expecting her to actually use the door for once.

You opened the door with a wide grin on your face but felt as though you had the breath knocked out of you when you saw your friend. She was wearing a tailored dark y/f/c suit with a neat white blouse. Her hair was slightly tossled and hung loose around her shoulders. It all went perfectly with her familiar warm smile. She looked beautiful.

Carol's outfit was strikingly similar to your own y/f/c dress that was a much lighter tone but the similarity was still there.

"H-hey." You stuttered as you continued to take in her outfit.

"Hey yourself." Carol grinned smugly, not oblivious to your stare.

"You look...really...amazing." You couldn't help but say. It was the truth.

"You look really amazing too." Carol said a lot more easily than you did. You giggled and stepped out of your appartment and locked it.

"Milady." Carol said in a terrible English accent as she offered her arm for you to hold.

"Milord." You went along and put your arm easily through hers before you started walking down the hallway, unable to contain your smile at the childish and loveable act.

When you arrived at the party you were bombarded with people wanting to talk to Carol. You had grown used to that, but it was still a downer when you wanted to stay by Carol, at least for a while.

Eventually, you were summoned away from your friend by the Avengers who were eager to catch up with you after so long.

"How've you been?" Nat asked with a welcoming hug as she outstretched her arms I'm an open hug.

"I've been pretty great." You replied honestly as you hugged her tightly. There was no one you were closer to than Carol, but Nat was someone you considered a friend without a doubt.

"What about you?" You asked genuinely as you pulled away.

"Same old." Nat smiled in her familiar way she saved for those she knew rather than the strangers in the room she had to play nice with.

You talked to Nat for a while as though nothing had changed. You hadn't seen Wanda and you had no idea where she was and no one mentioned her. You were thankful there wasn't any tension around the group. They all talked to you in the same way they always had with the exception of them asking about Carol more. You kept missing their knowing smiles hidden behind their drinks.

After a while you and Tony had your own convosation and it seemed as though being around the others was the only kind of self control he had when it came to refraining talking about relationships. As soon as you two were left alone he didn't hesitate to start saying what he had been thinking.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, you and Wanda seemed great, but I always thought it would be you and Carol who would end up together." Tony said as though he was voicing a passing thought.

"Me and Carol?" You tried to ask smoothly. Admittedly you had been thinking a lot about what it would be like to date Carol. You couldn't seem to stop your mind wandering at night to imagining scenarios with her in which you were dating. It always made you smile so your cheeks hurt until you reminded yourself it wasn't real. Carol would never see you that way, would she?

"Well I didn't see it until Nat pointed it out. Then we actually all kind of assumed you were dating before you and Wanda became a thing." Tony continued in his casual manner before taking another sip of his drink.

"Really?" You looked over at Nat who was talking to Carol. Nat seemed as though she was trying to convince Carol to do something because the blonde had the conflicked look upon her face that always appeared when she had been thinking long and hard about something.

"You certainly acted like it." Tony snickered as he followed your line of sight. As if on cue, Carol and Nat glanced your way and a heat began to grow along your neck at the feeling of embarrassment at being caught staring.

Nat had a small smirk playing along her lips while Carol mirrored your expression guiltily.

You missed Tony and Nat exchanging knowing smiles. You missed the way Carol's cheeks became tinted pink too.

"Excuse me." Tony said as he put a hand gently below your shoulder before walking off in the direction Nat had also departed too.

You smiled at Carol and wandered towards her place on the balcony, glad that she turned around entirely to face you. Unfortunately the blush on her cheeks had faded by the time you would have been close enough to spot it.

"Enjoying the party?" Carol asked as you stepped out onto the balcony and leant against the railing.

"I am." You said certainly. The blonde turned to copy your position so you could both gaze out at the buildings below you. The view you had gotten with Carol was undefeated, but the Avengers tower provided something special too.

"I told you they missed you." Carol grinned as she nudged your side with her elbow.

"Yeah." You blushed and peered down at the railing.

"I don't know about you but my shoes are killing me and I think I've talked to enough of these guests to bore me to death twice over." Carol sighed with a childish smile. You grinned back and nodded.

"You want to stay at mine tonight?" You asked hopefully.

"I'd love to." Carol's smile grew as you held her arm out for you to link your arm through again.

"Milady." The hero said with the same terrible English accent.

"Milord." You mocked as you put your arm through hers easily.

Maybe Tony was onto something.

That night when Carol took the same place she always did in her home that was as much hers as it was yours, you couldn't focus on the movie playing on the screen. You couldn't focus on anything except the blonde beside you.

You had your head resting on her shoulder and everytime you moved to get your drink and turned back to her your eyes instantly strayed to her lips, images of kissing her filling your head.

You remembered the night she moped with you after your breakup and how she had been the best friend you could ask for. Except you didn't want Carol to be just your friend. You wanted her to be more.

Your mind had been racing since since party, considering what Tony had said to you and how true it was. You and Carol really had always acted like a couple. You had never thought anything of it, even when Carol did it considerably less when you were dating someone.

Because you had been in more than just one relationship in the time you been friends with Carol. None of them ever felt right. You always thought there was something missing. Something that the next person would fix. No one ever could though. Because what you had been looking had been right infront of you the whole time.

All those feelings that had come bubbling to the surface the couple of weeks prior, they had been there all along. Christ, you were such an idiot.

"Carol..." You whispered, more afraid of what you were about to say than anything before. You wanted to back out. You didn't want to mess up what you had with Carol, but you had never been so sure of something than you were for your feelings for Carol in your entire life.

"Yeah?" She said softly.

"I think..." You held your breath and you could have sworn Carol did too. "I think I'm inlove with you." The blonde froze for a solid minute. Neither of you spoke. Tears threatened to come to the surface as you realized what you had done.

Eventually, Carol put her bowl of popcorn down and slowly turned towards you. You didn't dare meet her eye, instead playing with the edge of the blanket over you both and hoping it would trigger a sink hole beneath you.

"You do?" She whispered. You nodded and bit your lip in an attempt to hold back your tears. Carol lifted your chin gradually so you were looking at her. She had an unreadable expression.

"I love you too." You half laughed half sighed in relief as a smile spread across your face and the tears finally sprung free.

"Yeah?" You choked out. Carol instantly cupped your face and wiped your tears off of your cheeks as she smiled back at you.

"Yeah!" She giggled. "I've wanted to say that for so long." She admitted in a rush.

"Why didn't you? It could have saved us so much time!" You exclaimed and gently punched her arm.

"I was scared, even with Nat trying to convince me to say something." Carol explained, it was her turn to look away in embarrassment but you quickly pulled her back the way she did.

"That's really sweet, I'm here now." You assured genuinely.

Carol smiled back at you as her eyes glanced down at you lips. You grinned at the obviousness of what she was thinking and bravely closed the gap between you. After that prompt Carol eagerly met you half way and smiled into your long overdue kiss. Her lips were so so soft and moved against like a perfected dance. When you pulled away for air you rested your forehead against hers and breathed heavily with a heart filled smile.

"We have to do that more often." Carol said as her hands landed on your waist.

"We absolutely do." You agreed before pulling her into another kiss, engraving the memory of that night into your mind forever.

#brie larson #captain marvel #captain marvel imagines #captain marvel x reader #carol danvers #carol danvers imagines #carol danvers x reader #marvel #wanda maximoff

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curiousconch · 3 years ago

Text

Chase You / Chase Me (Pt. 2)

Part 2: Before I dive right into you

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: In the aftermath of their pretend wedding in Las Vegas, Gabe begins to unravel his growing feelings for Alex. But as he attempts to bring his past to light, someone from Alex's previous life casts a shadow on the future.

Book/Pairing: Choices - Laws of Attraction / Gabe Ricci x MC (Alex Keating)

Words: 2.4k+ (sorry 🙈)

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / alcohol consumption, some swears

Disclaimer: Most of the characters as well as some dialogue belong to Pixelberry. I am merely borrowing them.

A little after 1 AM, Las Vegas

Gabe can't help but smirk at the look of mischief in Alex's eyes as they stood by a quiet spot in the middle of Las Vegas. With her in that glittery dress, he somehow can't bring himself to part from her yet.

He knew it wasn't only him who felt that tingling in his fingertips when he brushed her cheeks, her breath smelling strongly of martini. He was very aware that Alex felt the same when she stared back at him, standing at that cramped cheap chapel while an Elvis impersonator stood nearby. The moment she stepped away when he said that it's just all pretend made Gabe's heart ache with regret.

So here they were, standing awkwardly after he shot down her advances again.

But he was sure he didn't want the night to end here.

After calling for a car, he shoved his phone inside the pocket of his slacks and turned to Alex.

"I was serious when I said I wanted a celebratory drink," he glanced apologetically to his side where she stood. "Our hotel bar offers my favorite scotch."

Alex raised her head, smiling. "Knew you had it in you, Gabe."

A car ride and a couple of glasses of Lagavulin later, there they were, lounging on stools at their opulent hotel bar, warm lights and jazz music providing a backdrop on the casual atmosphere.

"And I could not believe the rat thing worked! Who would've known they kept a rat in there as a pet? Like really?" Alex raised her glass to her lips, as Gabe sat on the barstool beside her, cradling his own drink.

"Beginner's luck, I would believe," he chuckled in reply, leaning forward, tie loosened and his coat hanging at the back of his chair.

"I am so offended," Alex gasped as she shoved her hands flat on her chest in mock disbelief. "I'm not only the boring nerd when I was in high school, Gabe. I was that nerd who sang and dance at the drama club!"

Gabe shook his head, his lips pursing. "That makes so much damn sense, Alex." He took another swig of his third shot, fighting for dear life from laughing his heart out. Not wanting to give her that satisfaction, he threw a sarcastic dig at her remark. "That's so believable, seeing you could snatch an Oscar from Meryl Streep herself and the no one wouldn't even bat an eye."

"Ah, law was plan A, sir." she saluted, placing her empty glass on the bar counter. "Acting was a fallback in case it didn't pan out." she giggled.

Gabe grinned as he rolled up his sleeves, beckoning the bartender for another round. "You should have made it your plan A, seeing how you turned out," he teased, bringing up the fun bit they did to retrieve a copy of Lydia Rothswell's marriage certificate. The very same act that almost made Gabe kiss Alex in the middle of The Strip.

"Aww, Gabe, finally found a better lawyer than you? Feeling threatened yet?" Alex leaned in, snickering as their glasses were refilled. "Don't worry, I' ll settle for being a Junior Partner for now," she said as she reclined, before throwing in a playful wink.

"Well someone's head just became bigger," he gave her a smug look.

"Just trying to keep up with all the cockiness in the room," she smiled coyly, watching Gabe's stupefied expression. It was clear then that she scored a slam dunk at the championship of comebacks, laughing at his astonishment.

Gabe finally gave up, joining Alex in her laughter. As their joy receded, he let himself take in the sight of Alex without any inhibitions. What he was beginning to see was the extent of her wit, her ability to keep her cool, and the sharp humor that matched only his.

Under the warm light of the lounge, she brilliantly shone. He couldn't focus at what she was now saying as he danced at the appeal of them becoming more than colleagues. Perhaps he resisted his own feelings long enough that he was past the point of denial. Or simply because he was starting to get drunk.

Though before he can even begin to consider that, he was still sober enough to know that he first needed to tell her the truth.

The truth that sometime long ago, their paths have already crossed. And that he did something very horrible.

Call him cynical, but he wasn't kidding when he admitted he was an all-or-nothing kind of guy. And that meant laying down all his cards on the table. Because for him, Alex was more than the occasional one-night stand. And he can't be certain of how long he could keep himself from his budding feelings, all stakes be damned.

What better time to be honest when there was enough alcohol in his system to prevent all rational thinking? It's now or never, he figured.

"Alex, I -"

"Alessandra? Alessandra Keating?" a deep voice came from behind him, interrupting Gabe. He cocked his head to get a clearer view, as a man with slicked back blonde hair approached from a private booth nearby.

Without hesitation, the tall stranger in the dark suit stepped forward, his striking features Gabe would have easily recognized anywhere. That face was almost in every blockbuster movie in the last five years.

"Julian? What are you doing here?" Alex asked, as abashed as he was. Gabe saw how she clammed up the very second she recognized the man.

"Oh my, it really is you!" the man stopped beside Alex's bar stool, welcoming himself to their company. The way he was looking up and down at her made Gabe's jaw clench so hard, his teeth gritted. But the man's next movement stunned him all the more. In front of him, the man embraced Alex, making Gabe suddenly want to combust. His tumbler could've shattered if he tightened his grip on it a little more.

"Uhm, Julian, hi," Gabe surveyed Alex as she writhed within the man's arms, waiting for any signal from her so he could do something, anything, to make this man go away. But she assured him with one look, shifting a little, making the man who wedged himself between them release her.

"It's been so long! When was the last time I saw you, like, 12, 13 years ago?" the man exclaimed, his annoying smile making Gabe want to slam his fist somewhere. And it wasn't on the bar counter.

Gabe heard Alex scoff, fighting hard to regain her composure. "Yeah, high school," Her icy demeanor took over, one that Gabe only saw in the courtroom. She brushed her dress as she tilted her head to Gabe's direction.

The man turned to Gabe, the surprise evident as he acknowledged Gabe's presence behind him. The two men sized each other up sending an undercurrent of tension between them. Before Gabe could even consider acting out of impulse, Alex cleared her throat to diffuse his temper.

"Julian, this is Gabe. Gabe, this is Julian, my -"

"Ex," Julian interjected, before turning his attention to the lawyer. Apparently, this guy had a habit, Gabe observed. "We were together senior year. Alessandra, my angel, we had the best time together, didn't we? We looked good together, at least after Alex thought to improve her image here. Sadly, we had to break up. Teenage romances, you know?"

The picture couldn't be any clearer; this was the person Alex was speaking about during their dinner back in New York. And hearing the way he talked, no wonder Julian got under her skin. He was a damned manipulative pretentious liar. Gabe could hear the dishonesty between the words, not an ounce of authenticity in sight while the blonde hotshot rambled on.

Alex wasn't showing any sympathy either, her brown eyes staring daggers at him, as he went on about his monologue, emphasizing on how she was his back then. She was clearly infuriated by his attempt to own her, as well as his lack of shame. As Gabe quietly considered her reaction, he deliberated on a strategy to put her out her misery. The moment an idea came to mind, he gave Alex a subtle look asking her to back his play.

Alex nodded, sitting a little straighter. Finding the instant shift in her, Gabe made his move.

"Sweetheart," he slowly raised his voice as he said the endearment, enjoying the contempt from the other guy when he was interrupted. "You never told me Julian Wintour was your ex."

Alex smiled smugly, appearing pleased with the nickname Gabe chose, a clear pun on the whole high school sweetheart trope. "Never crossed my mind, babe. It's such an unimportant detail in my past," she waved her hand dismissively.

"Ah, nonsense," he finished his drink and gestured for the bartender to clean up. "Mr. Wintour's history would have made a good conversation starter." Gabe straightened his vest and stood, collecting his coat. He sauntered towards Alex, circling around the now speechless Julian. He draped his jacket over her shoulders, clearly making a statement before he reached for her hand, wrapping it in his.

"Why? Isn't the shiny nameplate of Senior Partner not good enough?" Alex expertly rode along, locking eyes with her former flame before gazing back at Gabe enticingly. "Forgive him, Julian. My lovely boyfriend here has a bad hobby of underselling himself," she smiled warmly, the irony of her statement eluding her ex. Gabe was about to smirk with her ingenuity, stopping when he felt her arm slowly wrapping around his waist. He barely stifled a groan at the intimacy of her touch.

The other man went beet red at the gesture. For embarrassment or infuriation or both, Gabe didn't fucking care. All he cared about was for Alex to slap this douche's face, metaphorically speaking.

"Anyway, Julian, it's been a pleasure. It's been a long night, and we're about ready to retire at our penthouse suite," steadily, she got up from her seat. The command in her was undeniable, forcing anyone to feel nothing but regret the day they decided Alessandra Keating wasn't good enough for them. Then with a flourish, she turned around as she let Gabe take her away from her past lover's scrutinizing gaze.

Inside the elevator, Gabe caught Alex's exhale of relief, probably thankful that Julian was out of her sight. Gabe still held onto her hand, though Alex didn't seem to notice. As they began their ascent, he waited for her to break the silence, deciding that the questions running in his mind can wait.

"I would have traded my rankings for the look of disbelief in Julian's face," Alex said turning to him, to which Gabe arched his brow.

He smirked devilishly, knowing Alex could take the hint. "I believe I could offer a sight better than that."

She grinned at the innuendo, further lightening up the mood between them. "One day, Gabe, I'll take you up on that," she said, crossing her legs as she leaned on the polished wall behind her. "Though I'm sure you're dying to know... How did I end up dating the Julian Wintour?"

Gabe pondered before answering. "Hmm, actually not the first one that comes to mind, no." He tapped against his temple. "I doubted you would ever bat an eyelash to his direction."

Her eyebrows rose. "Ah, you think so highly of me." She chuckled, shaking her head at his reply. "But yes, he was my ex. And yes, he was the red on my ledger. He was my first love," she admitted. "That ideal, once in a lifetime, true love everyone's talking about? Julian was it, or at least I thought he was." she sighed, glancing at her reflection on the polished metal panel beside her. "But when things started to go downhill for me, he was the first one to walk out," she paused, taking a deep breath. "By cheating on me."

Gabe's body went rigid, clenching his fists so hard until his nails dug unto his palms. What the fucking hell? I know I should have punched that guy's perfect teeth! He decided against airing his vengeful thoughts, staying quiet as he glimpsed at her image on the walls.

"Joey reminded me how Julian made me doubt myself. If I'm really over what he's done to me, if he's still in my head," she continued, rubbing at her nape. Gabe felt her gaze fall on him, which he reciprocated. "But after walking out from him tonight, I am much more certain that I made it out, after all."

Gabe felt her squeeze his hand as she said those words, and his heart somersaulted inside his chest. "So thanks. I needed that little nudge," she said in finality.

He turned to beam at her as he relished the triumph in her words, hoping that it was enough to convey that he was proud of her. And to be part of that discovery about herself, about who she always was in his eyes - someone who was his equal.

When they arrived at her floor, she gently freed her hand from his grasp invoking a sharp exhale from him. She stepped out of the elevator, her gait as undeterred as ever. But then she turned, her soft expression dimmed by the lack of light. "And while we're on the subject of appreciation," she uttered, before dropping one last revelation.

"Thanks for that save you also gave me ten years ago," Alex glanced up at him with half-lidded eyes, her words laced with meaning.

It took him a few moments before he could even comprehend what she was trying to convey. He searched her eyes for some explanation but found none. "What do you mean, Alex?" he said, managing to find his voice.

"I know exactly who you are, Gabriel Ricci."

With that, the doors slowly closed in front of him, her sly smile fading from his sight until he can only see his own reflection. He examined her last sentence, repeating the words over and over in his head. There was only one plausible explanation: she only knew half of the truth. His body sagged against the wall as he shut his eyes, angry at himself.

No Alex, I think you really don't.

Author's Notes: Thank you for your continued reading! As some of you may have already noticed, this part was written purely in Gabe's POV because I wanted to expose his conflicted feelings for Alex. It's probably my own version of revenge, with PB stretching that slow burn as much as they could 🤭 Share your thoughts in the comments, I'd really appreciate it! 💖

Taglist: @adiehardfan @pixelnutrookie @starryjieun @fucking-random1 @sarcastic01lily @spookycolorpeanut @ophrookie @suitfer

@choicesficwriterscreations

It's my first time tagging a couple of folks, so please inform me if I missed including you. Also, want to be added or removed from the tag list? No problem - just let me know 😊.

#choices laws of attraction #laws of attraction #choices laws of attraction fanfiction #laws of attraction fanfiction #choices fanfiction #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #gabe ricci x mc #gabe ricci

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fluffytsukino1009 · 2 years ago

Note

Hey, hope you're doing well. If you're still doing ship requests could I have one for BTS and Mamamoo, my bias is Namjoon but I'm not sure with Mamamoo lol. Questions are 1235.

I'm 22, 5ft7/8 (can't remember exactly) kinda brown/ginger hair with blue eyes, I have pale skin and my arms are filled with freckles. I like vintage fashion and going for more 20s and 30s. INFP and bi.

I study history and I can get a bit obsessive with my interests, it can become the only thing I can talk and think about. I'm a shy and I don't like showing my emotions although sometimes have no choice lol. It's easy for me to feel low or depressed but I try to push it aside to help others. I can be blunt as well in what I say and want, hard to change my mind also. I can either go from 0 to 100 with my attention, either struggling to keep my head straight or there's nothing that can budge me.

I like reading and writing stories which I can get easily lost in. I love horror, mystery and fantasy. I listen to true crime podcasts a lot as well. I do enjoy history as well (obviously why im studying it). I also love playing video games, cooking and I'm interested in spirituality.

Hope this made sense and you are well. Thank you for doing this and remember to take breaks.

ahey! Thanks for your request (I'm excited I finally got a Mamamoo request lol) and I'm so so sorry it took me so long, life stuff.

But here we are and I thought yes, you're a pretty good match for RM, simply adorable. About Mamamoo... Hear me out... Hwasa, you'll see.

What he thought when he first saw you?

As a sum up "Who is that beautiful creature?" He was just so immersed in you that couldn't think straight wich explain the reason clumsiness intensifies.

Where he takes you on your first date?

Any type of history museum. He got the idea as soon you mention your history studies, the plan Is hear you talk wide and open about something you're passionate.

What he likes the most about you?

Not likes but LOVES when you get obsessed with something, always willing to hear you talk about it for hours, and eventually you got him so interested he'll do his own research about it.

How he fell in love with you?

Maybe it was in the right moment you meet or it grow slowly over time. Truth is he didn't even notice, it was so natural like if he was waiting for you knowing he'll fall for you.

Hwasa

What she thought when she first saw you?

Thought you're both adorable and mysterious. She was so interested in you that know you better became a necessity.

Where she takes you on your first date?

Shopping, wanted to keep it casual and still have the chance to enjoy a nice talk. May insist in buy you something because after all she does want to impress you.

What she likes the most about you?

The way you express yourself through your clothes and your writing. She thinks you have a deep beautiful soul and wants to dive in it, would take any chance to translate you and the little things you don't say.

How she fell in love with you?

When you start putting down your walls and show her how you really feel. The idea of having access to the purest form of you makes her weak every time.

#kpop ships #bts ships #mamamoo ships

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azurevi · 4 years ago

Text

on land where we can touch the moon (2/?)

PART 1 PART 3

A quick note- this is pretty messy. I'm planning as I write, so there'll be information scattered across the words, and it may be overwhelming...kinda. I have added a little note about what happened in this chapter in the end. This series is also up on ao3.

There is, naturally, a reason Azul was stuck with the name 'The Sea Merchant'.

It wasn't a bad name, and there was no hint of degradation in it. It just wasn't particularly suiting. Azul wasn't a merchant. He wasn't even a shopkeeper. He was just invested in a little magic, and this hobby of his got leaked out somehow.

His magic was certainly something. It's A Deal allowed him to confiscate another person's valued quality in exchange for their wish. Anything could come to life as long as the deal was equal.

Only the drunk and people in desperate need of help ever went to him for help. After Azul had started mastering his magic, he reckoned that it hadn't been used to its full potential. If the person on the other side of the deal failed to meet the requirement, Azul could take even more from them without suffering any loss.

And so he sugarcoated and exaggerated his words, put up the most professional smile he could manage. For a few weeks all was well. He'd gained himself a melodious voice, splendid flexibility and a ton of unique magics, but nothing great ever lasted. He was soon exposed as a scammer and his notoriety was whispered among the streets, passed on and on until every family warned their kids not to ever run into him. And Azul, with his fame and prosperity wilting under the gossip and points of fingers, was forced into giving up his success.

He had been in hiding ever since.

He could never understand how something as atrocious could happen to him. If it hadn't been for the sneers and isolation in the entirety of his childhood, he wouldn't have grown up hating everything and everyone around him that called him ugly, unwanted, repulsive. It should've justified his desire for revenge.

Instead, God decided that his suffering was not anywhere close to enough and kicked him down the cliff where he was crying for help.

That being said, Azul was grateful to have Jade and Leech sticking around after everything. The two of them were also unpopular among others, so they eventually got close as a tight-knitted trio.

"No you didn't," Jade said firmly.

"I did, Jade. I did," Azul sighed, "They were dying, Jade, I couldn't just let them die,"

"Well, you should've."

"Don't be so uptight. Azul was doing the right thing, wasn't he?" Floyd winked. "So. Were they good-looking?"

"What?"

"The human. You must've saved them for a reason,"

Azul hated how Floyd's words implied that he would never do good unless there was something in it for him, but one could never lie in the face of truth.

"I just didn't want to let them die. It was their birthday,"

"What does that have to do with everything?" Jade asked. "You went above the water. You saved a human. You were almost caught. You could've died up there, you know. How did you even manage to breathe?"

"I just… did." Azul said, twirling his tentacles in nervousness. Jade was entirely disapproving of his actions, while Floyd on the contrary seemed to be mildly intrigued.

Everything still felt like a fever dream. All the fireworks and cheering and explosion were still vividly scorched into his mind as if they'd been put on repeat. The splendid colors, light giggles and-

And those beautiful eyes of yours. The way your hair flowed in the night sky with ease, how you laughed like tomorrow was promised and your life had been planned out before you, a clear and untainted path to success. Azul couldn't decide on whether he was jealous or amazed.

"Well, you better hope they didn't really see you, or that they forgot about it. If the humans come down here to hunt us down-" Jade couldn't even bear to finish the imagination. He simply shook his head in dismay.

"I swear I saw someone! I couldn't have just been washed ashore!"

"Apparently, you were," Jack said, stroding with large steps that had you panting to keep up. "Near-death experiences do things to our mind, your majesty,"

"That may be the case for others, but I'm sure I was conscious," you retorted. "I woke up to a pair of pale, azure eyes, then in a blink they were behind the rock. If it hadn't been for you-"

"I apologize for worrying about you, your majesty."

You bit your tongue. Fighting with Jack always ended with him being passive-aggressive and you stepping back reluctantly. Plus he was as stern as a rock. Almost nothing could move his belief.

Shouting and grunting could be heard from inside the medical room where Ace, Deuce and Grim were being tended to.

Jack flung open the door, and the three stumbled to get into the blankets and put on a excruciated expression.

"I see you're all healed up," Jack said. Ace hummed lowly and slapped his forehead with the back of his hand.

"I'm at death's door, commander. It pains me to say this, but I might need to take more days off,"

Jack was quiet for a while, and you could almost see a drop of sweat sliding down Ace's forehead.

"And you, Deuce?" Jack challenged.

"I'm traumatized,"

"And Grim?"

You arched your brow, at which he shivered in fear. "I- I'm feeling fine already,"

"So it's just Ace and Deuce, right?" Jack said. Ace and Deuce nodded their heads so hard they could fall off.

"Alright. Your health is of utmost importance to us, so I'll contact the Raven Healer…"

"The what?!" Deuce's voice croaked.

"The Raven Healer. Surely you've heard of him. He's best known for being able to treat any diseases, both mentally and physically,"

You were sure there were sweats rolling down Ace's cheeks now. "But- but doesn't he heal by using bizzare mediciness…?"

"Oh yes. His magic is what makes him such an infallible doctor. You two seem to be in a lot of pain. I'm sure he'll free you of your suffering."

You turned sharply towards the door and stifled a laughter.

"That's… not very necessary…" Deuce's voice faltered word by word. He was fully aware that he'd already lost. "You know what, commander? I think I can dive back into work right this instant!"

Jack smirked smugly. "Splendid. And you, Ace?"

The two of them stared at each other so intensely there seemed to be sparkles between them. Finally, Ace gave in. "I'll start work tomorrow,"

They didn't even wait for Jack to walk completely out of the door to whine. They looked fully healthy, even more energized than you.

"Anyways, did you find your saviour?"

You sighed. Ace and Deuce were still skeptical about your 'story', which you'd corrected to 'experience', but at least they were open-minded.

"No clues. I've had guards patrolling about every two hours. Nothing has yet to happen,"

They eyed each other uneasily, then back at you with a worried face. Before they could make assumptions, you defended yourself. "No, I'm not sick. My head's not concussed,"

"Well," Grim scurried to your lap. "Perhaps your saviour doesn't wish to be found?"

That'd be unwanted. You would wish for anything but to create troubles for your lifesaver. Nonetheless, you knew you wouldn't be able to sleep without sending your gratitude.

Alright, there might be a selfish motif. You were admittedly curious about those light, pensive eyes and silvery, gleaming hair under sunlight. All these unknown were like a gravity pool, pulling you deeper and deeper into the mystery.

"Well, you ought not to lose hope," Ace patted your shoulder casually, like you weren't the princette of the kingdom he was serving for. "Maybe you'll actually run into him. Fate has a weird habit for setting unexpected traps."

It wasn't so much love as a tender curiosity, but the line segregating them was so flimsy that one's got to mix them up at some point.

Azul found himself in such a dilemma. He couldn't decide whether it was attraction or nosiness that he was feeling. Either way, it's got him hooked like a drug. Something beautiful had finally entered his life like light piercing through a thick fog of ink, and it was possessive. Azul had a feeling that it wouldn't go away until it had drained him of his mind.

The door to his room was thrown open and Azul had to hide the peeled petals and green stem in a jumble. He had been chanting 'they love me, they love me not' for the past hour. To his luck, Jade and Leech didn't seem to have noticed his haste expression. They were both panting when they swam inside.

"What's wrong?" Azul's first instinct was that something had gone south.

"There-" Floyd wheezed. "There's a sta-"

"There's a fallen statue in the Coral Maze," Jade finished the sentence. "People are fussing over it,"

"Okay," Azul eased back into his bed. He'd already lost interest at 'Coral Maze'. It was at the centre of where the majority of sea creatures inhabited. Nothing could make him go anywhere near civilization and its hubristic aesthetic again.

Or so he thought.

"No- you don't get it. It's a statue of a human that sank along with wreckages of a big ship, and it's made of gold,"

A statue made of gold.

He recalled it now. It was supposed to be your birthday present. The consternation of what followed the present revelation had been so intense that it'd washed the memory of the statue out.

"We just thought that it could be the statue you mentioned in your story, you know? It looked really grand…" Floyd sighed.

Azul wanted to get up and swim over right there, right then, but he knew he couldn't. What would others say to him the moment they saw the shadows of their tentacles crawling on their pure and oh-so royal ground? What accusations would they throw his way? How many children will be led away from him like he was some man-eating, brutal abomination?

Not to mention the unforgiving rage he'd evoked in trying to scam them in the past. Dishonesty was highly criticised in their high-class society. It was as if they were saints that had never done one thing wrong. Bet they'd never even stayed up past midnight.

"You ought to come take a look!" Floyd suggested. A casual, friendly proposal.

"No," Azul snapped. "No, no. I'm not going there,"

"They're planning to use the gold," Jade said. "You know how they are. They see one thing from the ground and start screeching in pain,"

They were going to use your statue. The statue that was perhaps the only thing that was related to you, the one way to never have to forget about you again in case that you never met again.

And to imagine the effect it'd add to his collections! A big gold statue in the centre of his grotto, accentuated by the sparkling of other jewelries. It'd be complete.

"I'll sit on it," Azul decided. He was not to act rashly, lest he walked one step wrong and brought upon himself misery and misfortune. If he really was to pay a visit, he would act in secret. Perhaps in the veil of the night.

"Just don't act alone, okay?" Jade said. Azul nodded despite not paying any mind to him.

In the dead of the night Azul decided to sneak out. Alone. It was a mistake, really. Azul couldn't stop thinking about your statue, and by the time he realized how absurd it was, he'd already gone to the Coral Maze.

There was nary a shadow except his own. Still, it was much lighter than where he lived even at night. The distorted image of the moon waved from above as Azul made his way through the many identical corals. Then he finally found your majestic statue standing solemnly in the centre. The only beauty in the water.

It was a sight for sore eyes. White, pure light reflected off the gold and created streams of gleams onto the ground. That someone would ever find it to be disgraceful was incomprehensible to Azul. Something like this deserved to be put on display in the museum for all to see.

There was no radiance on your face and no splendid colors in your eyes. It was merely a fraction of what you were. Nonetheless, it was enough for Azul.

"Who's roaming there?" an alerted voice asked. When Azul turned, he saw a silhouette looming from outside the Coral Maze, holding two anglerfishes in hands and waving them in the water.

Panic was the only thing Azul felt as he hid behind the statue, struggling to keep his tentacles out of sight. The light stayed right in front of him for a while before skimming away.

Azul grabbed the statue and swam, pushing his tentacles through the water as hard as he could.

"Wait there- oh goodness!"

There were several voices now, mumbling and inquiring. Then light was casted upon his flitting figure and there were bemused gasps before someone yelled, "Seize him!"

Azul was out of breath. He wished he excelled in fitness but instead he was stuck with incongruous tentacles that would never cooperate at the most needed times.

A hand grasped the end of his tentacle but slipped off. He kept the statue tight in his arms, as if his life depended on it. He could tell that they were near now, and was trying very hard not to imagine the gruesome outcomes.

Someone grabbed his tentacles. He faltered and was pulled back despite protests.

"Keep him in place!" another person yelled as the crowd moved to keep Azul fenced in.

Azul couldn't see anything. Everything was a poor mixture of shadow and distaste and sneers. He was probably going to die right there.

"I can't believe you have the guts to come back, Ashengrotto. After all the things you've done!" someone spoke up.

"Yeah! How shameless of you!”

"And he's stealing our properties now! Imagine how desperate he is,"

"You guys don't even want it!" Azul said.

Some guy lurched forward. Azul cowered backwards.

"It's disgusting, yes, but it's still gold." he said as if it was a completely just thing to do. "It landed on our ground, so it belongs to us. On the contrary, you don't have the rights to lay your filthy hands on it. What more do you want to steal from us?"

"I'm taking this because none of you understand the beauty of it!"

This evoked a negative reaction from the crowd, but words could never be taken back. Azul could feel his heart pounding like a prisoner hellbent on escaping. He had to escape. No more of this degrading gazes. No more of the points of fingers.

"Beauty?" the guy scoffed, and for a moment his face scrunched up and he was ready to spit out rage, but then it softened into a smug smirk. "I guess only ugly understands ugly, huh?"

Azul's head throbbed.

"It doesn't justify your actions, ink-blasting thief. Hand that piece of trash over right- uff!"

He was flung deep into the water until he disappeared into nothing but a black dot. People around Azul immediately made way as they fled in screams and wails. His tentacle was still tingling with the impact, but he couldn't quite feel it. Even if he did, he couldn't care less as he skyrocketed to the surface of the water. He blinked and blinked, but his eyes were still blurred by what would be mixed into the seawater eventually.

He'd had enough. Heard enough, seen enough. If he'd spent one more second down there he would have suffocated to death.

The familiar freshness of air welcomed him the moment he broke through the water's persistence. The land wasn't far ahead. He swam towards it as if it was his sanctuary.

There was a man sitting on the rock, face hidden under the hood. Azul considered retreating. He had no idea what would happen to him if he was spotted, but nothing better would happen if he were to go back. So he continued swimming and crawled onto the cool soft sand, only letting his head be seen by the man as he hid behind yet another rock where he placed the much valued statue.

He seemed to be asleep, chest heaving up and down at a steady pace. Just as Azul started sliding out, the man raised his head and looked straight at Azul.

They were a pair of humming, white circles, seemingly void of any sentiments. The man had a mask on that shielded his face except for his tightly shut lips. Two crows were staring right at him with the same uncanny manner.

"You've finally arrived," the man said.

Probably the humans had been searching for him. Azul decided to keep his mouth shut.

"I've been hearing your calls…" he tilted his head. "You can come out. I know what you are,"

Azul still hesitated. But he was much closer to the ocean than to the guy, so he slowly let his tentacles into light.

The man remained calm, not a bit taken back by the revelation.

"Well, I've been hearing your calls…" he resumed.

"I never called out to any humans,"

"Not literally. But you have been calling out a lot," he smiled amiably. "You have to know that it's especially hard for me to hear from creatures undersea, so if your wishes managed to reach me, it means you're pretty desperate,"

"I think you have the wrong person," Azul said and started retreating.

The guy sprang up and his crows curled up together beside him. "Wait- I should introduce myself first. I'm the Raven Healer,"

Azul pondered for a while. "That doesn't explain anything except for the crows,"

"You lots haven't heard of me?" he frowned so deep that his brows and eyes were a cluster. "You guys are really secluded,"

That was when Azul finally realized that he knew about them. About all the lives and creatures that inhabited the deep sea.

"And I mean no harm to your realm. My only target is you," he smiled again, this time at an ominous angle.

"Well, I'm quite famous in this realm. I heal people for a living, whether it be physical or emotional needs. Anything you need, I can grant you,"

That's not very different from Azul's magic.

"Sometimes, when someone is really desperate for a change, their thoughts can be heard by my crows. And you, Azul Ashengrotto…" his smile dropped a bit and his eyes drooped. "is particularly distressed,"

"Alright. It was nice meeting you," Azul nodded respectfully. The man didn't seem to be harmful. If he fled right now, he could probably throw him off.

The Raven Healer stilled, then burst into piles of blatant laughter. "No, no. I've been looking for you, don't you get it? I'm here to grant your wish!"

I'm here to grant your wish. Like how Azul'd promoted his business as the Sea Merchant.

"I understand that you've been suffering quite a lot, and that you want a change. But nothing ever comes without a cost… I'm sure you can understand,"

The healer stood up, the material of his greatcoat fluttering in the wind. He made his way freely to Azul, who could only freeze up as he inspected the statue with great interest.

"The heir to the throne! I see why you're desperate now. They're a real catch," the healer then looked down at the outstretched tentacles without a word. Azul prayed in his mind that he would turn away from them.

"Well, here are my terms. I will grant you a pair of legs in exchange for your magic,"

Wait, what?

Azul was pretty sure the Raven Healer was just imitating him now. A great figure appearing out of the blue to answer your hopes. The catch was that the figure would always take away your most important thing. It was never a fair deal, Azul was aware.

"I don't think you need my magic," Azul breathed.

"Why, I do!" he exclaimed. "Collecting magic is a splendid hobby of mine! It is because of all these magic that I am such a renowned magician,"

He was obviously lying. His smile couldn't reach his eyes, and the orbs where his eyes were supposed to be were humming like a hazard label.

"I think I'll be just fine," Azul hurriedly brought the statue to his chest and started sliding away.

"...How are you going to survive?"

"What?" Azul swiveled, exhausted.

"Up here. With your…" the healer wiggled his fingers.

"I'll find a way,"

"No you won't," the healer protested. Azul looked up to the sky, took a deep breath and decided to entertain him.

"Why so?"

"You're gonna cause ruckus. Chaos. People are not especially used to seeing half-man half-octopuses roaming their land," he said honestly.

Despite knowing all this, Azul still considered his word rude. There was a thin line between blunt and disrespectful, and he'd just crossed it.

"There won't be anyone dealing with you, will there?"

"...I suppose not-"

"Exactly! I am your only hope!" he exclaimed once again, throwing his hands up in the air like a dramatist. "Unless you want to go back?"

Azul glanced at the serene water. He knew that down there, the mermaids and mermen must be panicking over what'd just happened.

"You can't hold onto that statue forever. If you really wish to stay here-"

"I just came, Mr. Healer. I'm not going to stay,"

"Yet. Come on now," he groaned, as if he was the one exasperated. "I know you want it. You need it. So what are you waiting for? You're never going to see all the beauties in this world in this state!"

He was right. Agonizingly right. He couldn't just walk around as an octopus. It would be like a stain on a quaint painting. Moreover, now that he was here, he couldn't just give up the chance to find you again. It's not like the ocean would welcome him anyways.

As if hearing his thoughts, the Raven Healer reached his hand out, "Deal? Your magic for a pair of legs. It's a fantastic trade if you think about it,"

One second. Two second. Azul didn't wait until the third to act on it. The moment their skin touched, Azul felt a stream of warmth coursing through him, rushing to his throat, where he choked up a luminous blue orb. It was within the healer's fingers within seconds.

"And your legs," he rummaged inside his pocket. There seemed to be numerous tiny objects inside as he dug around. Finally, he pulled up a thumb-size bottle and handed it to Azul.

He downed the slimy liquid inside under the healer's encouraging nods, and almost gagged at the sensation. "Guh! What the hell is-"

His tentacles started glowing a bright yellow, bright enough to attract people in this dead of the night. They started to shrink until they completely disappeared, and a pair of human legs replaced them.

He couldn't believe his eyes as he stretched around and surveyed the changes on his body. It took him quite some time to adjust to it, but he was surprisingly good at it. The fabric of the pants that came with the gift fluttered against his 'flesh' like a mother's caress. He felt normal, for once. Not some ugly monster that preyed on innocent kids. Not a marginalized criminal. Not even a wicked fraud. He was just a human wanting to explore the world.

"Three days," the Raven Healer said.

"What?" Azul was too joyous to pay real mind.

"If you can't find the most beautiful thing after three days, you will dissolve into sea bubbles,"

Azul stilled as he comprehended his words, then he started to chant no in his mind. He'd fallen for his trap.

"You didn't mention it at all!" Azul yelled. "Refund! You're scamming me!"

"The pot's calling the kettle black now. How comical," the healer giggled. Azul's heart dropped to the bottom.

"Consider this your own medicine. It's not like you're completely at loss over here!"

"Wait!" Azul reached out to grasp his fainting figure, which had become an opaque vision.

"We shall reunite in three days. Until then, enjoy."

All that was left was the crashing of the waves and songs of the crickets. Bathed in the glow of the moon, Azul finally came to the conclusion that he'd fucked up.

Life never stopped to give him a break. There were haste footsteps nearing from behind. Azul instinctively retracted his tentacles, but forgot about their absence and tripped instead.

"Yikes! That was a nasty fall. Are you okay?"

Looking up, two formally looking men were standing above him, one with crimson hair and another navy. There was a sword attached to each of their sides.

"Yeah. I-I'm fine," Azul cleared his throat and stood up.

"Are you homeless?" The redhead asked and was immediately hit by his companion.

"You can't go around asking people whether they are homeless!" he scolded, then turned to Azul brightly. "You must be in search of shelter! Please follow us!"

"That isn't any better,"

"Shut up," the blue-haired snapped with the same polite smile. "Come on, Mr…?"

"A-Azul. Azul Ashengrotto,"

"Yes, Mr. Ashengrotto. We can't have you catching a cold out here,"

Despite his friendly facade, Azul could see underlying motives lurking beneath. But clueless that he was, he didn't have a choice but to follow suit towards the castle-like building in the far distance.

"Your majesty will be pleased to see you," the redhead murmured, but Azul couldn't quite catch that.

"What was that?" he asked.

"It's nothing," was all that he received. "Just that you'll surely love the place."

Conclusion : Azul had once gone around scamming others with his unique magic but was busted and had been further criticised since. The Raven Healer is obviously Crowley, and his magic will be further explained in next chapter.

#twst x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #twst headcanons #octavinelle #azul ashengrotto #sie writes

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thebisexualdogdad · 5 years ago

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Hosie playlist

Listen on spotify

He'll never love you like me - Hayley Kiyoko

Cause baby you know that you got it // Girl yeah you know that you want it // Girl why can't you just be honest with yourself // I know everyday you're thinking of me // I make it better when you're feelin' lonely // You say no one will understand // You wish you could but you just can't so // How many days? How many nights? // 'Til you realize // He'll never love you like me

Daisy - Zedd

Daisy, always dancing to the same beat // Broken records stuck on repeat // Daisy, you got me // Daisy, don't you know that you're amazing? // Broken hearts just keeps on breaking // Daisy, I would take the light out the stars to help you see // Anything to guide you straight to me // Let me show you how a kiss should taste // Trust me, I won't give your heart away // Why you running, running when you got it right here? // Oh, I would love you if you let me

Wait for you - Jake Miller

You say your heart is too fragile // Maybe we should keep it casual, that's fine, that's fine // He broke your heart into pieces // I know that you are still healing, that's fine, that's fine // I think you could use someone like me // But you ain't ready yet, you're scared to love again // I think you could use someone like me // It's killing me inside, but you can take your time // 'Cause I'll wait for you // No matter how long I have to // Yeah I'll wait for you // And every night I'm hurtin' // But I know you'll be worth it // So I'll wait

Invisible things - Lauv

Do you remember // The last time you felt something like this? // The way that it felt when we were kids // Yeah, we built castles out of couches // Felt fire without matches // Made promises without fear of getting burned // Now we're always second guessing // We think happy is expensive // But every time I'm with you I re-learn // It's the invisible things that I, that I love the most // It's the way that I feel when I, when I hold you close // 'Cause everything else, oh, it comes and goes // It's the invisible things that I, that I love the most // So let me hold you close

Favorite part of me - Astrid S

Having a moment, weight on my shoulders // I can't describe just how I feel // Don't have to say it, look at my face and you know exactly what I mean // So many people, all of the ones surrounding me // And if you'd ask them, they would describe me differently // So many reasons, so many different sides of me // And I can't decide who I want to be // 'Cause some people make me bitter // Smile and then squeeze a lime in my cut // And some people make me sweeter // 'Cause they make me feel like I am enough // And that makes me a giver // But my mom says I tend to give too much // And some people make me better // And that's how I know my favorite part of me is you

Feel Good - Gryffin, Illenium and Daya

Yeah, sometimes I need someone to pick me up // Overdose my mind with the things I love // You can take me there // When my heart beats, when my heart beats free // Take my hand in the middle of a crisis // Pull me close, show me, baby, where the light is // I was scared of a heart I couldn't silence //But you make me, you make me feel good, I like it

Ruin the friendship - Demi Lovato

Baby you and I got history // And we can't deny our chemistry // So why the fuck are we a mystery // Let's just go with the connection // Give me your affection // You're only brave in the moonlight // So why don't you stay till sunrise // Your body's looking good tonight // I'm thinking we should cross the line // Let's ruin the friendship // Do all the things on our minds // What's taking us all this time // Let's ruin the friendship

Shine - Emeli Sande

Let's keep it wheelin' // Say how you feelin' // Like you got the whole world behind you // And break all the rules // Oh love who you choose // Just make sure it's love that lights your fire // Yes you gotta let love lead you // And you gotta let love shine through // Oh express yourself, it's good for your health // Oh nothing to fear when truth walks beside ya // Oh sing you a song // Mmh, sing it all day long // Let your heart lift you higher // Yes you gotta let love lead you // And you gotta let love shine through

Don't want it back- Sabrina Carpenter

This moment can't be washed away // A part of you's a part of me // I know, I know // This love we have will never end // We're circles, we begin again // I know, I know // Baby, I'm home // Headfirst, I dive // Won't wait for time, no // We're livin' for tonight // You give me a reason to feel what I feel // When everything is under attack // You got my heart, I don't want it back // You might be the answer to all of my fears // When everything is under attack // You got my heart, I don't want it back

Love again - Dua Lipa

I never thought that I would find a way out // I never thought I'd hear my heartbeat so loud // I can't believe there's something left in my chest anymore // But God damn, you got me in love again // I used to think that I was made out of stone // I used to spend so many nights on my own // I never knew I had it in me to dance anymore // But God damn, you got me in love again // Show me, your heaven's right here baby // Touch me, so I know I'm not crazy // Never have I ever met somebody like you // Used to be afraid of love and what it might do // But God damn, you got me in love again

#legacies #josie saltzman #hope mikaelson #hope mikaelson x josie saltzman #hosie #playlist

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itsimmortalx · 6 years ago

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The reeling religion of misfits

Today I sat with a brother from Guyana and we built upon islam. He is one of those who sought truth from many different traditions. Forever traversing different religious and spiritual landscapes. To eventually land upon islam as his life path. Strange he told me how the book of Revelations led him down the path of the Arabian prophet. A long winding discussion ensued which went from the deserts of Arabia to the hard rugged streets of the motherland. I have always been a fan of stories like that; of the human being’s search for meaning. Yet there was something intriguing about this one righteous brother. I observed him as he casually puff his joint and spit wisdom with a calm that only comes from being a seeker who have been there, done that.

We broke it down. What does it mean to believe in the Dajjal, the anti christ. Was it an allusion to a system that would engulf us in the end times or a literal figure with his one eye bulging out to lead humanity to its doom through the maze of late capitalist modernity? I was of the opinion that it was a system that the Hashemite prophet was alluding to— the time honoured parable speaking semitic prophet. But the brother held to the opinion of the literal interpretation. With a firm conviction that he will appear from the horizons of Russia, well blame Communism.

It got me thinking of the religion of the powerless, the misfits. What do we do of those who claim to be the most divine himself? What of those who transcended the literal and now hover in the celestial realms as illumined beings? Look at us sitting at the end times in a place filled with the fragrance of weed, a sacrilege at best. Here building upon the metaphysics of those who came before us. Afore time these are sessions held within the madrassas of the islamic empire from Baghdad to Timbuktu. Yet here we are getting high and elevating our Imaan. Total strangers from the prophetic nation of islam as long lost brothers quoting Ibn Taimiyyah with intersperse mention of al-Jailani the saint.

Now am no proselytizer for a religion but I am as hell concerned about the landing point of my soul and true to form the only social formation that’s invested in that is religion. So what’s a black boy to do except to dive right in and know wassup? one thing that have always fascinated me through the passage of time and my wild stunts with religion have been where we all fit in it. What hermeneutics creates community for those who refuse orthodoxy? Where does the decolonial meet the arabization of the primordial path brought by the desert dwelling apostle? Questions, questions…

We kept on building though. We veered into the brotherhood of the believers across the different time zones. That difference of opinion over jurisprudence amongst the faithful is nothing but the mercy of heavens. To nurture even as it expands the mind of the Mumineen to seek beyond the confines of the revealed text. At this point I kept on thinking about a brotherhood that is infested with tribal and racial dents. What about an empire of believers who don't just clash on theological points but the color and tongue of another. And what of the sisterhood? What happened to the language of the faith? What of the patriarchy that informs the daily discourse and exegesis of the male dominated arena of legal and theological scholarship? I was racked with questions as the build progress into the late evening.

Perhaps religion offers is more questions than it answers. Many turn to it in the hopes of getting a meaning to this bizarre place we found ourselves in. To be born and to find oneself in a certain unchosen geographical location is enough to send one on a path of searching and seeking through dear life. Yet here I am at the end times, the end of the confluence, in the age of the stranger with even more to ask. Sometimes though am reminded of those who came before us who worshipped their god in grace and dignity and never for once questioning the apparent wisdom of it all. Imam Juwayni, the teacher of al-Ghazali that great Sufi scholar, use to say the best of religions isn't that of the theologians or philosophers but that of the old women. An unsophisticated, simple, terse submission to the teachings of heavens. But I don't have this luxury. I have been fucked over by reading too much, knowing a bit too much of many different fragments of god’s revelation thru the many ages of my species existence.

It doesn't help either when one contemplates the prophetic tradition that reminds one of the purity of the truth being lost within islam as the ages go by. And yet the apostle spoke of the age of strangeness —perhaps this is the true revivalist and savior. And of the stranger who will haunt the end of times as one of the true and living. One of the righteous who will hold unto the covenant of god whiles his foothold is firmly planted upon the certainty of the rightness of revelation. If this is the case am making an argument here.

The stranger isn't the faqih nor the mufti. For the faqih has become the norm since the age of the so called classical era of islam. He has represented overtime the emissary of god by being the guardian of his sayings, actions and tacit approvals —i.e the sunnah. The stranger is someone condemned from those pompous, exclusivist, too pious gatherings of the people of knowledge. He isn't welcomed there, he isn't the norm and the nomenclature isn't devised to have his name or being around. He's peripheral man at best.

A threat to the orthodoxy and a shame to the official teachers and gatekeepers of godspeak. Not to romanticize this late human, but he stands apart holding unto the proverbial coal that the prophet alluded to when he spoke about the difficulty that will beset the believer in holding to his faith through the downward flow of time.

For the only thing to stand the test of time is the religion of these misfits. Wether it be the anarchist Khawarij, the god body Sufi or the philosophers like the brethren of purity. Threatened with death, martyrdom, abandonment and a thousand many curses, these misfits still managed to survive— to pass on a genealogy of dissent from the normative, a silsilah of marginal righteousness. Meeting in secret spaces at the apex height of the Islamic empire, these sisters and brother devised codings and meanings to pass on the religion of the Gharib.

We are here now fourteen centuries later still trying to enact there sunnah. Their modalities and ways of being. Their utter indifference to the orthodoxy’s condemnations and threats of excommunication. And if there be salvation that is worthy of the name it will come from these sincere circles. The Qur'an and sunnah lived as a catharsis, a kenosis, an emptying out of all social and intellectual constructs devised overtime to control and cage the people.

The islam of power, the dīn of empire that once was, the pathway of the scholarly oligarchy can take a backseat for once and give me the islam of the wild ones, the crazy islamists, those nonconformists who beheld the glory of god whiles sitting in a pub. Those who recognizing the fallacy of the patriarchy now gladly pray behind female imams. Give me the islam of the weed headed Awliya; those who give thanks in all highness to the most high. Gimme a decolonial dīn that negotiates between the writings of al-Razi and Fanon.

Eventually we realize that it can be done. That fourteen centuries later one can still bow before divine presence and still be illumined. And when its all said and done, it will come from those who gave up on all that has been fed to them to cling to the rope of Allah and bind themselves to his promise.

lā ʾilāha ʾillā llāh muḥammadun rasūlu llāh

Here then is an exegesis for salvations sake.

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gmbencompetence · 3 years ago

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I appreciate this excellent post. Before I get into my response, I'd like to lay out some "Ground Rules". By that, I mean that here some things it's important to keep in mind when reading my posts.

I do NOT speak for Nix Hydra. The original post by Fictif surprised me as much as any of you. While I'm friends with some people that have worked there, I haven't been in the loop since I left. They wouldn't tell me anything if I asked, and I don't.

This also means that all of my perspectives and experience cut-off two years ago, when I left. I can't speak to anything that happened in the last two years, including the quality of the work or company decisions I had no awareness of.

The most important one: The goal of my post isn't to lay blame, absolve blame, or decide who's "right or wrong". I definitely wrote my tweets from an emotional place, but I understand that situations like this are really multifaceted. I'm only interested in conversations that pursue understanding; not in who is "right" or "wrong". We'd just describe the elephant.

All right! Let's dive in.

(UPDATE: My ADHD Hyperfocused and I did not realize I've been typing this for an hour. Going to put it under a Read More to save Dashboards)

You're right that my "One simple truth" statement oversimplifies things. You are right that there are a LOT of factors in play. These include accessibility, affordability, and reasons why demand would be skewed (you mentioned Allies and other reasons someone would advocate for content they don't intend to play). These all make sense to me and I will touch on a couple in a little bit.

My core statement was/is this: Nix Hydra was never leading anyone on or making hollow promises or treating this issue casually. Their mentality was never to "dump it because it didn't meet quarterly profits".

The creative team was full of women and NB people who ran the full spectrum of queer identity. I also spoke to them and hung out with them (And ran game nights with them!). From a very personal place, I can promise you that the company and people on these projects very much wanted to create content for women and queer audiences. We would have long, off-the-clock conversations about how important it was for Nadia to feel like she was for the female gaze or how Muriel's romance could allow queer men (like myself) to feel welcome. This is/was a goal for us. Companies are full of all kinds of people, but the vast majority of people would talk about how they wanted to create the art people needed to see.

This is something that was important to us even as the engine overheated. I mentioned on my Twitter that Portia got a lot of extra support at one point. I don't want to go into too much detail (that's their business), but I can promise that I was in the meetings about this. The overwhelming sentiment was always "Queer women deserve this kind of representation, so what are all the ways we can make it work?".

To be clear, your posts acknowledges a lot of this. I'm not saying you ignored it. But I'm also aware that Tumblr's interface will circulate specific posts, and I wanted to really drill this down on our specific conversation.

Okay, so let me get into the point by points:

This profit-driven decision dumped people off.

I saw your original post and completely understand your frustration on this. Some companies will dump something because it isn't profitable enough. DC Comics famously did this with the New 52 a couple years ago, and some movies are labeled flops for only making several million dollars. When I worked at Nix Hydra, this was never the mentality (Again, I can't speak for the last two years). We all agreed that this representation was important and we would sometimes run things as hard as we could trying to support them. If you look on the merchandise store, they have prints where 70% of the profits are donated to The Trevor Project. This project was something I and one other person came up with. When I was the one to pitch it, the percentage I proposed was less than half of that, because I assumed that "No company would ever go for more". The internal response I got was "This is raising money for LGBT youth! What's the highest we can push this and still keep this rolling?" And we pushed it to 70%. Again: I pitched the idea of raising a humble amount amount of money for charity, I was met with "We could be donating more!".

Why am I saying this?

Basically, I think that there's a very understandable mentality to mistrust companies and assume cynicism with their actions. And that make sense; capitalism's THE supervillain in the narrative of our reality. And I don't think that every person in Nix Hydra ever is a saint that bled Kindness itself. But I also just want to push against the idea that this is a profit-driven company that doesn't give a dang.

(It doesn't make me look great to say I shot so low, but I figure if I'm posting about this, I should be honest. :P )

Fictif doesn't support female LI's enough!

Two notes:

I left when Fictif was getting off the ground. I am not privy to how it has been going.

My work was primarily focused on things related to The Arcana. I have a lot of blindspots here.

The thing that comes to my mind is "Yes" and also "Continuity". I have not been watching Fictif, but I believe you. I won't challenge your experience or perspective here. But when I say "Continuity", I mean that when The Arcana was our main project, a LOT of work went into understanding why each route worked. A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot.

A lot.

Surveys, play data, tracking merch sales, tracking how coins were spent, and so on. Heck, a major part of my job was reading Tumblr and Twitter and Instagram to understand how players even talked about things. (I've seen your wicked memes and raise a glass)

So when female character routes, content, side stories, and so on hit trouble, this was analyzed to death. We'd ask ourselves "WHY did so few people try Portia?" And we'd say "Maybe she didn't get a good scene in the intro. Let's look at that" We'd see if we were advertising her enough, if her story was what fans wanted, and so on. The more research we did, the more we saw the daunting idea of "People might not give female characters a try".

I am not privy to the numbers and money. I have have been valid to the actual profit margin information (just relative levels of success and such). But Portia had a rough time for a bit. I don't think it's appropriate for me to go into what sales info I did have (I still gotta respect their privacy), but I will say that there were some daunting truths.

So Continuity.

Fictif has a lot of different people. But it also has a lot of the same people. It's a potpourri. And the people who saw all the things I mentioned above would be a part of the meetings about how we structure Fictif.

You see where I'm going with this, yeah?

Any game company that makes a project is quietly reacting to their past projects. What DID work. What DIDN'T. What we want to try this time around and what we want to do differently. What did we regret and what opportunities that we have.

What I'm saying is that if you consider the way the company handled Fictif as an extension of the things they experienced during Arcana, this might make more sense.

Why not craft a budget that understands female routes won’t IMMEDIATELY BE EQUALLY PROFITABLE, but still recognizes the VALUE long term???

This is a good question, but my response is: What would that look like, and would that be something satisfying?

I'm not being flippant, but I am trying to make a point. If you make a smaller budget, you're asking us to lower something. Would we lower the quality of the art? Hire writers that will work for less? Because both of those reflexively mean paying people less because they work on the WLW content. And that's an entirely separate bad path to go down.

But let's say we did that route, anyway. We found ways to lower costs for just those routes.... would you (meaning the playerbase) be okay with that? Would "you" be content to know that the routes made for this were produced with less love, sincerity, and intent? On one level, I'm sincerely asking. On the other, it feels like a no-win.

But at the end of the day it’s not fair to push the majority of blame on the WLW readers in this context.

I agree. Yes.

I think it is an objective truth that these routes made less money to the point of being actively dangerous endeavors. I also think it's true that shifting blame doesn't feel great. When I made comments like that in my above posts, my personal perspective as a queer man (or maybe demiguy? Still exploring that) was that it's frustrating when I personally see people advocate for inclusivity and then not show up for it.

I want to be very specific and say that you have made excellent points about accessibility, visibility, marketing, resources, and so on. I don't disagree at all and actively appreciate that you brought them up. They are fair.

This leads me to the last point I want to make, which is basically the second half of my response.

My exact wording was for a very specific reason.

My exact words were "The number of people that wanted the content to exist was vastly different than the number of people that wanted to support it".

This was worded this way specifically because I don't put the blame on LGBT people. I don't put it on people being jerks. But when we did research, we'd get 20 people BEGGING us for more female routes and then 3 people ACTUALLY playing those routes. (Those numbers are completely entirely fictional, of course. Just making my general point). This can create a weird situation for any company, where we have one sheet of paper that conclusively proves players support female routes... and a different sheet of paper that conclusively proves they don't. This can be confusing for a company. And it can create difficult situations. Including situations where we think "Great! THEY want WLW stories. WE want WLW stories! Let's dump out our purses on this." and then... yeah.

While I stand by the perspective I was trying to provide on game development, it was never my intention to shift blame onto the very people I and others were always passionate about supporting. It was never intended to be crumbs. It was made with love and genuine respect for the opportunity we had to create art for the communities that mattered to us.

WLW deserve to be seen. They deserve good content. They deserve to engage in stories where they get to experience romance and love and good times.

I will lay my cards bare and say that I went back and forth on how I identified for years. Muriel's route was what made me completely accept that I wasn't just Bi, but proudly so.

-----

Were Fictif routes "good"? That's subjective and not what I want to get into.

Could things have been done better? Sure.

Is it frustrating/disappointing to see Tess's route ended abruptly and other release-date issues with female routes? You bet your bottom dollar. Absolutely. Yes.

But this whole situation has been something on my mind for a while. And I have held onto it because it was technically a company secret. Now that they are posting about it, though, I figured I could exhale the breath I've been holding for two years.

....

Two things.

I have pretty bad ADHD and tried really hard to do this post in one sitting. If I rambled, missed a point, or veered topics, let me know. I'll try to revise.

I am now acutely aware that this came off as mansplaining. If it did, I apologize. Your post began with referencing my "experience and years of knowledge", so I tried to approach this from the perspective of providing an insider viewpoint. You are under no obligation to feel any specific way about this, and I'm sorry if it came off any other way..

All right here's a long post I'll probably delete later. HIT SEND!

This was me. I’m a former employee of Nix Hydra. I left the company a while ago and have absolutely nothing to gain by saying that what Fictif just posted is entirely true.

My inbox is open if you’ve got questions. It’s closed if you’ve got hate.

Let me know.

(For obvious reasons, I will absolutely not be answering questions that are out of line for me to answer.)

#fictif #nix hydra #I beg y'all to not read this in bad faith

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