#[ both about our reality ]
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redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)
(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#they are truly the most inspiring love story of our generation#though i guess he's not dr. zigvolt since zigvolt is the clan name...#unless he took her name which i absolutely could see. why would you ever not want to be called zigvolt.#this does tie nicely in with my headcanon that sebek's siblings got more of the fae features than he did#and he has a Complex about it#i get the impression that sebek's siblings are much closer in age to each other and also have more of their dad's chill#so sebek is sort of the baby of the family and he's got a Complex about that too#i think a lot about the zigvolt family for characters who have never actually appeared#on the subject of actual canon though#i do actually really appreciate that both sebek and silver each had a little moment of reassuring each other#that this is 400 years ago and also incredibly unfortunate circumstances#and present-day reality lilia and baul love them very much#(i do think sebek is secretly baul's favorite grandkid)#it was just nice to see! especially from sebek! he is sometimes a very thoughtful boy and it's always nice to see that side of him#sebek trying SO hard to get baul to like him though 😭#and lilia being like 'aw i think you're getting kind of fond of him :)'#i love. Characters.
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hey, did you know that there’s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will?
#been thinking about this line so much lately 😭#been thinking too about (this is not directly connected but bear with me)#about how true brilliance is about presenting things in a context#so it hits harder. different. with the full weight of contextualized reality behind it#to present both an idea and its place in things#and that’s the essence of Hamlet. he goes on such a journey to reach a conclusion some truly simple souls would have known or trusted soone#and yet because he didn’t because he questions everything because his tenaciously powerful whirlwind of a mind considers everything#weighs everything questions everything —including his own questioning#when he does finally set it down. when he does finally say ‘let be’#‘there is providence in the fall of a sparrow’#it hits like a TON of bricks because he has come to that truth in the fullness of context#he has seen it for the shining star that it is and so it cuts through everything with such clarity#and in the final shattering of the play you can feel the radiating peace. the peace that is#there IS a divinity that shapes our ends. rough-hew them how we will!!!!!!!#I am going to weep I am weeping
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can i say something controversial. the way people (especially american liberals but that's a whole nother can of worms) act about animal testing is sooooooooooo unhelpful. like is cosmetic testing on dogs/rodents/primates harmful and unnecessary? yes, in many cases! but does that mean all animal testing - for any application - should be categorically banned? no. animal testing is a vital process in many, many medical and research contexts and is conducted under a very strict set of standards, ergo applying "animal abuse" as a blanket label to all instances of animal testing is reductive at best and shows a flagrant lack of understanding of medical ethics on the part of the population. and don't even get me started on how slippery of a slope it is to go from condemnation of animal testing to just flat out eugenics
#speak friend and enter#and nobody better fucking come at me with 'what if we just tested on prisoners.' that is eugenics#like i think the thing that a lot of people just refuse to wrap their heads around is that these animals are bred for this.#it's not pleasant to think about but it's the reality of the situation and is a much more favorable outcome for both humans and animals#than many of the alternatives.#animal research is integral to our current understanding of biology and medicine and continues to be an important phase in research#anyway i saw a video about people doing urbex at an abandoned animal testing facility and got mad. it's a bit of a hot button for me!#there's also a point in there about public refusal to engage with the unsavory aspects of science and anti-intellectualism#but im too lazy to tease it out. but you get where im coming from
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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i’m not a transandrophobia truther in the slightest don’t get me wrong, but i think some people on here really need to realize and comprehend the fact that cis women, way WAY more often than not, hold extremely significant social and political power over trans men the vast majority of the time in our day to day lives
#sorry not to get on this bullshit i just saw a related post when i opened this app lmao#and by some people i don’t mean anyone in particular im not vagueing anyone or any specific post#and i especially don’t mean any transfem calling out transmisogynistic transmascs either#but yeah i see a lot of implication that trans men are like. somehow significantly privileged over cis women#and ofc i don’t mean that transmascs are incapable of being misogynistic to cis women bc that’s far from the case#but i need someone to name a transmasc with significant political or social or financial power that’s working to set back women’s rights#versus the amount of cis women with any of the aforementioned privileges working to take away the rights of trans people#bc i can think of 4 of the latter just off the top of my head without trying really hard#and the only day to day instance i can think of where trans men would hold significant power over a cis woman is like..#a workplace environment where he completely passes as cis and absolutely no one knows he’s trans at all or even suspects it#but then again most if not all of that privilege would be stripped away the second anyone there found out he was trans#but yeah i really do think some people need to grapple with how they conceptualize gendered privilege and their own power in these dynamics#and how that’s reflected in the way they think about/interact with transmascs#are you disgusted with this random transmasc on tumblr because he’s a man (or vaguely adjacent) or because he’s trans. ykwim#and again i hate the whole transandrophobia thing i think it’s stupid as shit and redundant to put it lightly and briefly but#idk why transmascs that believe in it have become the new face of anti-feminism and MRA movements#and not like. the cis men who started both of those things and contribute to the vast majority of that type of rhetoric in every way#and also hold enough power to leverage those beliefs over both women and also transmascs tbh#i think some people are just repulsed by the idea of anyone willingly wanting to be a man bc they see it as the same as becoming a cis man#in terms of privilege. when in reality by being trans you’re knocked down in terms of power and privilege from all cis people anyways#but also. some people also need to realize that transmascs can also have trauma and complicated feelings about being a man and patriarchy#and more often than not we ARE traumatized by the way cis men (and women!!) have treated us#and grapple with our place in the world as a result. it’s not just as simple as becoming a cis man over night tbh!!#and again i’m not talking about transfems with any of this because the vast Vast majority of transfems understand this more than anyone#i’m mostly talking about cis women both irl and also just in the terminally online leftist sphere#and i also think i should be allowed to vent my grievances with the power cis women often do wield over me without being accused of being a#raging misogynist or MRA or whatever
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this book: [talking about the weird nebulous boundaries between city and woodland]
me: THE WUI! :D
this book, half a page later: "—the Wildland-Urban Interface—"
me: [Leo_pointing.jpg]
#it is funny actually cuz the book does take a somewhat negative view of the use of the term but like#meanwhile I'm over here. wildfire nerd#like 'THAT'S IT THAT'S THE BITCH'#i do have some opinions about some of the romanticism in here. not cuz I don't love romanticizing things. but like#I think you can hold onto both wonder and whimsy and also recognition of other harsher realities of our constructed environments#(but the book is very good)#it's A Natural History of Empty Lots#megs is reading
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did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point
#i love this entire scene sooooo bad it's so delicious#flaunting the tadpole abilities and what he's capable of -- he's broken free of cazador somehow AND he can withstand the sun#and THEN once they leave. he attempts to manipulate tav in suuuuch a genuinely horrible way like#oh well of course i feel bad for them. i mean they're FORCED to do cazador's bidding. but no matter!#i'm fine sacrificing them for my own gain :) or rather... for OUR gain :)#this will keep both of us safe :) and... well... you want me to be safe right? :) you want me to be happy right? :)#this isnt him at his worst by any means but god it's soooo so good after how his act 2 arc is if youre romancing him#he's open and vulnerable and tells tav all about his plans and how he's been manipulating them this whole time#only to do it in a fun and new and interesting way all over again. but this time youre already 100% on his team#ANYWAY. i like when he's a bit fucking terrible#bg3#playing bg3#astarion#act 3 is really just a whole new beast to me at this point. how fun. i only got here once before and it was buggy and barely worked#sorry. i will be soooo deeply annoying as i rotate everyone in my head like little rotisserie chickens for the next few days#really thinking about how elluin is dealing with seeing this - she understands feeling like power will fix everything and keep her safe#but unlike astarion is capable of thinking long-term and about consequences#so this has her shaking in her fucking boots. and really has her grappling with the reality of their relationship#so until they actually get to the szarr palace and deal with the ritual... she's super withdrawn with astarion and even with the others#she wants him to be safe bc it means that she can realistically be safe since they're weird little mirrors for each other#but also. does safety exist without it becoming warped and horrifying#sorry. i will be normal again eventually
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So like I said the other day I finished gravity falls for the first time and Stan and Ford make me INSANEEEEEE bc their dynamic is just like my sister and me when we were teens
#we were besties (and still are best friends)#but she resented me bc I was really smart and I resented her bc she was so charismatic and good at so many things#and I was only good at school#but then we both went to college and then I moved super far away#and only just moved back within three hours of her#and I made myself big emo thinking about not being able to see her for 30 years#sorry our reality but I would jeopardize it all to bring her back if I were in that situation#greater good? I hardly know her!#anyways. I loveeeeee gravity falls so much I love media that engages with sibling relationships!!!#bc my siblings are the most important people on the planet to me!!!#anyways. got uncharacteristically personal but my sister isn’t at the ford reveal yet so I can’t cry to her about it
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going back through some of this fandom's history has made me realise, we really see people as black and white good or bad don't we?
#like i hope we're getting better (i think we are)#but it has me wondering. how much fandom treatment of 5sos partners was based off one specific incident#but also shaped how people viewed that one specific incident?#i'm glad we want our faves to be well and happy. i just think we also are not immune to misogyny sometimes#guess who just watched the lie to me mv for the first time ever#it's important that people get to tell their stories don't get me wrong. and there was a lot of authenticity in this#however if our instinct is to just totally not ever believe women we also have to ask ourselves why#at least people were really glad for sierra at the time? but look how that went. she was human and people turned on her too#these things can both be true. sometimes women to genuinely bad things. AND we hold women to impossible standards#and then dehumanise them the minute we do something wrong#which is bound to happen at some point!#also. someone can still be a good person and not make good decisions 100% of the time. think about that before you disregard#something someone says being like 'my fave would never they must be lying' why is lying our go-to? yes they might be lying but#this shouldn't be our assumption. just because people are reluctant to admit our faves might not be Completely Perfect#fwiw i think rn we're doing a lot better in terms of that though. in terms of destigmatising mental illness and addiction too#it's just. reality is often just complicated? no one's all good or all bad. yes people should be free to tell the story of their experience#but in order to be ethical consumers of their story we need to realise that just because it highlights one aspect of someone#it doesn't mean that's all there is to them. and it doesn't mean that's all there is to the story either (even though it's not false!)#like how we're been discussing in swiftie spaces. storytelling is GOING TO BE BIASED. when we acknowledge that we won't be as reactive
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patrick star it's not my wallet meme but it's just "class-based oppression exists" "yes" "oppression is based on material class and not how an individual is perceived" "yes" "for example trans men who pass as men socially are still oppressed for being female" "yes" "because oppression manifests as more than surface discrimination" "yes" "therefore even straight-passing bisexual people are oppressed for being bisexual" "NO you can't be oppressed for being straight!!!!"
#by this logic bi people in same-sex relationships would be ''functionally gay'' bc that's how they're perceived#but that isn't how it works#so the same must be true for bi people in other-sex relationships#even if your argument is that bi people are only oppressed for our same-sex attraction#we are still same-sex attracted regardless of how we are perceived#(and my argument is not that bi people are oppressed ''for being OSA'' but that bisexuality is a complete sexuality)#(not some switch flipping between OSA and SSA. both are always ''on.'')#''you can just hide it'' isn't the magical get-out-of-oppression card they think it is#nor is hiding the default state for every bi person? like. i didn't come out. my peers could Tell.#i would have to actively change myself to be seen as a straight woman#but even if i was. i would still be oppressed on the Material Reality of my being bisexual#i can't believe this is a controversial take here on Material Reality tumblr tbh#it's material reality until a bi woman is explaining how being bi has had material consequences in her material life#and wants a word separate from homophobia bc homophobia should be about homosexuality only
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The Nutcracker, the most haunted ballet <3
#ballet#the nutcracker#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#late for the season but whatever#been microwaving the haunting of this ballet in my brain for so long now#had to make some kind of art based on it#anyway it's not like Aleksandra is the only one haunting this ballet#the dancers in the wings are all based on my dance besties and me#the younger girls wearing the cosumes we wore when we did Flowers (our first nutcracker piece!)#and the older ones wearing our costumes for Tea. Which is the last performance we did before we had to quit due to covid and moving out etc#nostalgic piece whateverrrrr#anyway I love the experimental colouring of this#and the perspective#it's about capturing the feeling babeyyy#not staying too close to reality#wasn't sure if I liked the orange or the purple version better so enjoy seeing both :)
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#am really starting to wonder if women are even capable of experiencing friendship?#i can think of two totally platonic male friends in my life that i would consider myself “cosmically intertwined” with#like honestly i'd almost say the love i feel for those two men is deeper than any love i have ever felt for any girl#and i think it will remain that way until i find my wife#like....those are my bros#they're my brothers in a very real sense#i guess i'm realizing that this shit is a huge pet peeve for me#i think male friendship is a beautiful and sacred thing#and i think it's legitimately fucked how women just dismiss it#and there are so few good representations of it in popular media#we've got what....frodo and sam and achilles and patroclus?#but of course both of those are actually secretly gay too#and i'm being a bit facetious#like i'm sure women have friends#but then why do you have to dismiss/sexualize male friendships?#and like yeah yeah it's just a joke/it's not that deep/let people ship things/etc#sure whatever it's not even necessarily about this particular post#this is about a broader attitude -- one i mostly find in women -- and i know these people act like this about irl male friendships too#i've had it happen to me and a friend irl#and it's one thing if it's just a “ship” but i know many of these people insist that their “ship” is actually true/reality#it feels perverse when a group of girls are not-so-secretly spreading a rumor that you and your friend are gay for each other#and i'm a bisexual dude so i don't even have anything against gay sex#and i also have had fwbs so i don't think friendship necessarily precludes the possibility of sex#but when it is just a genuinely purely platonic friendship with no sex/romance#but people insist it is sexual/romantic it feels especially wrong and vile -- and it starts negatively affecting the friendship itself#like honestly that's what happened between me and him and by the time he shipped off to boot camp we were already barely talking#because he was made to feel weird about the closeness of our friendship by stupid girls spreading rumors#so yeah i guess i'm bitter about it
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"Biz, what would you like for your birthday this year?"
"For nobody to misgender me for a day."
Turned out too much to ask (:
#tw: transphobia#tw: misgendering#literally every person i had to talk to today misgendered me#my mom kept misgendering me over and over again even in trying to correct people#“HER pronouns are they/them” i'm going to eat the fucking sun and shit#every doctor and nurse i spoke to kept calling me she/her#“IT'S FUCKING THEY/THEM I AM NOT A GIRL"#everyone reacts like i'm some special snowflake bedwetter that can't take misgendering#when the reality is that i have never gone a single day in my LIFE where i haven't been misgendered#oh and my doctor's office was too narrow for my wheelchair which was humiliating#and i had to spend 3 hours trying to explain to mom in a way that actually made a difference WHY it matters to not misgender me#and finally it clicked at hour 3 with “YOU'RE DESCRIBING TO STRANGERS WHAT MY FUCKING GENITALS LOOK LIKE AND IT FREAKS ME OUT”#“i hadn't thought about it that way”#oh and my doctor rolled her eyes at seeing a 32 year old in a wheelchair like i was malingering in a $5k chair#and demanded to know why i use it when it wasn't relevant to my visit AT ALL#my younger and older siblings BOTH treated me like shit for my gender identity so i wound up agender#because jesus fucking christ how insecure are you fucking cunts that you can't stand NOT being the only son/daughter to our mom#so i chose to be nothing!!! and they STILL won't fucking just live and let live#everybody's gotta hate biz for fucking something and that includes gender#*biz unsubscribes from gender* “hey >:(”#i hate my life#this was literally the worst birthday in my fucking life#had to starve myself of sleep to get up at 6am to drive 4 hours to a 20 minute appointment#misgendered 100% of the time while i couldn't get my wheelchair into any exam room because the doors were too narrow#questioned for needing a wheelchair. looked at like a child for being trans. clueless mom that wouldn't back me up.#and siblings that hate me because my mom genuinely likes my company more and it's because the two of them are so selfish#they won't bother to treat our mom with basic respect or interest in her as a human being outside of a mother when i do#but THEY can't be the problem. it has to be something MY fault
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#my older brother: punches shit near me. harasses me and Chevy and makes threats#makes threats at gay people with two openly gay ppl lexistbhere#threatens to rape lesbians when I mention that I like women#but know my mom trusts him teehee#man when he snaps and kills someone i hope it’s her first lowkey#or me so she has to live with that shit#and like I get violent intrusive thoughts. I even get saying shit u don’t mean#but I literally tried to kill myself to get away from them do you understand#most of my nightmares have to do with them hurting Chevy and I and a lot of my delusions are about them actively trying to kill me or#worse. I feel like it’s literally me or them and I cannot calm down. I think if I am schizophrenic too (which makes sense both of my older#brothers are. my aunt is and my mom I think has schizoaffective disorder) but yeah if I am the constant paranoia im feeling isn’t helping it#it’s hard to feel grounded to reality when our reality is constantly being threatened#like on god whoever is reading this if like randomly die whether those two or my mom have something to do with it
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#back on my super personal posting bs#last basketball game for the band tonight#augh and misery but at least it’s at Cool Big Semi Circle. Two hour drive at least tho. sigh.#if u from my state you know what I mean. actually wtv it’s obvious idfk Tacoma Dome moment lmaooo#man. last thing of band for the whole year kinda sucks ngl#our band is fucked don’t get me wrong but a part of me still loves it with a lot less cynicism than most of my friends n other band kids do#part of me is like yeah there’s stuff that sucks. but also this is where I’m meant to be and I’m having a good time#the reality is that our director sucks our band sucks nobody practices and we don’t really play well#but in my head#I’m doing well#i practice. a lot. because I like it#All my friends are here#I’m doing what my dad did in Highschool and being like him makes me really happy#which is especially why I’m switching to drumline next year to hopefully be on snare#I’m actually gonna kill myself if I get cymbals i fucking HATE cymbals I will fight my Director on this actually so hard#cus I don’t know shit about percussion#but my dad is a drummer and so is one of my senior friends who is sticking around after they graduate this year#and they’ve both agreed to teach me over the summer#so I’m gonna go fucking crazy hard into practicing so I can do percussion ensemble next year and do drumline too#I’m literally gonna dig in my trenches and fight tooth and nail to get what I want#and I’ve never really done that before#It really feels like I’m determined to prove myself worth of being a snare#not cymbals#not bass#snare#I feel like I was kind of always meant for this; I’ve just been putting it off yknow?#I’m the child of two divorced music majors#my dad is a drummer who was in band his whole life#he loves it. he loves it so much.#my parents moved to New York to chase their dreams and become musicians
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ok i just need to write down these whack 1d dreams i’ve had the last couple days
#so two nights ago it was that zayn had a reality dating show and i was ON IT#and the whole time i was like 😭 i’m too gay for this can i leave pls#it was in this place that was both super tropical but also a desert#and zayn INSISTED we keep going on these long ass walks thru the sand i was just like bro can we go back#and he got mad at me when i said i needed to go take a walk to decompress after this story about his ex that he told me#it was so vivid and surreal#but then the dream i just woke up from i was part of 1d in like 2013 era???#and it was sooo busy so many interviews and a couple fan meeting things#and i was like damn this is exhausting#but also got to see these beaauuutiful places#like one of our hotels was suspended directly over this crystal blue water that had orca swimming thru it and we swam w the orca#and both harry and louis separately plotted w me to pull pranks on each other#harry was also like?? psychic?? like he could send images into everyone’s heads but he only did it w nice things lol#and then randomly at the end he came to work w my at this body jewelry company i used to work for#but like he was still him and on our application form to work there we had to disclose our income for some reason#and on his he was like i’m not telling u this 😐 don’t push it#like w the emoji too fhdhskeldk#but i’m out here like why am i dreaming of these guys even more when i’m taking a break from them#like i still listen to their music ofc but i don’t have the energy to participate in the fandom rn#it’s like they know and they’re like#u thought u could forget about us!!!!! syke bitch we’re haunting ur dreams now <3#but whatever i’ll take this over the other vivid dreams i’ve been having lately#anyway#rowyn rambles
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