#[ also the autumn has reached such a beautiful point ]

[despairforme]

[slutforfictionalwomen]

Neighbourhood mother

Kinktober day 14

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Main kinks: Corruption kink, lactation kink, mommy kink

Word count: 1,7K

Summary: You're young and new to the neighbourhood, Wanda quickly claims you as her own.

Warnings: smut, corruption kink, lactation kink, mommy kink, pet names, breast milk, innocent reader, mention of trauma, fingering.

(Please tell me if I forgot anything.)

You're eightteen, and you have just moved to Westview. As soon as you got into a nice university, you decided to move and get out of your toxic mother's home.

The place is beautiful, but it's definitely way too big for you alone. It's a good reason to plan on getting animals. There's not a lot you want to change about the house. There is nothing outside you want to paint, but you're planning on painting a few walls on the inside.

You're carrying boxes inside when a woman comes walking over. She has red hair and a friendly smile on her face. Her style is a bit old-fashioned, which makes her even more gorgeous.

"Hey, sweetheart. I'm Wanda Maximoff, I live across the street from you." The woman extends a hand for you to shake. You put down the box you were holding and politely shake hands, her kindness makes you blush.

"Hi, my name is (y/n). I'm eightteen, I just moved here to go to a uni nearby," you introduce yourself to your new neighbour. You notice how your voice is coming out quite soft, normally you're not that shy.

Wanda looks around her at the many boxes in the bright sun. She frowns and looks back at you. "Oh, you are a young thing! Let me help you with these boxes, it's hot out and you must already be sweaty."

You don't know whether it's the kind gesture or her calling you a young thing that makes something inside tingle, but you very much know the feeling is there. "That's sweet, thank you. But don't go out of your way to help me, I'm fine on my own." You pick up the box again.

"Nonsense, a young girl like you needs someone in the neighbourhood to help her out sometimes. That's what I am for." You can't quite make out why her facial expression looks strange, so you shake it off.

~

You have been living in Westview for over a month. Autumn feels so much better here than in your old house, your old town. And you've got Wanda, who is coming over today to decorate your house for the fall together.

Ever since that first day, Wanda has been by your side. She is always there to help you, but she also often comes over for nothing at all. Sometimes, she even cooks for you, which can variate from inviting you over for dinner at her house to coming to yours with ingredients and just cooking dinner. She has been taking on an almost mothering role. For the first time in your life, you feel cared for.

A knock on the door rips you out of your thoughts. You run to the door to open it. "Mo- Wanda!" You hope she didn't hear that awful slip up when she walks in and hugs you.

"Hello sweetheart, how are you today?" When Wanda pulls away from the hug, she gently holds your face. Looking into her green eyes makes you a bit dizzy, but you love them.

"I'm okay." There is no better answer because you always feel okay when you're with her. It's as if you forget all your problems when she walks through the doorway.

"I'm glad, but you know you can come to me with anything, right?" Wanda walks into the living room and puts down a bag with crafty stuff.

You know you can tell her anything. She has often helped you do your homework, she has come over to help you sleep when you were scared all alone in the house, she will basically help you with anything. So you nod a yes.

~

"Can you put these webs up there?" Wanda hands you some of the fake cobwebs you made together. The past few hours have been fun. You first made decorations together, all autumn and Halloween themed. Now you are putting decorations up around the house.

You take the cobwebs from her and put a chair to reach the place she pointed at. "Sure!" You get on the chair and put the cobwebs in place, but then you place your foot weirdly, which takes the chair out of balance. You're too late to yelp out when you fall hard on the floor.

Wanda rushes over to you, so you quickly wipe away your tears. "Oh baby, are you okay? I'm so sorry, that must hurt so bad."

Tears come out again at her words, and you quickly wipe them away. You see a bruise forming on your knee and quickly hide it. Your instincts say she will get mad at you for being in pain, but something in you knows that she wouldn't. Deep down you know that is just trauma speaking. You speak in a broken voice, "I'm fine."

She gently takes your hands off your knee. "No, sweetheart, you're not. You are clearly in pain. Why are you hiding it?" She kisses your knee. It sents warm sparks through your body. "Come sit with me on the couch. We can finish this later."

~

"I can't imagine how you must've felt. But I promise you, I will always care for you in the way your parents didn't." Wanda is cuddled up with you on the couch. You are in tears, you've just told your whole story to her.

"Thank you, Wands." You put your head in her lap, looking up at her face framed by her curly hair. She is so beautiful. Her comfort only makes you cry more, for some reason.

"Baby, are you still in pain?" The older woman gives you a worried look. She genuinely thinks you're still crying because of the fall.

"Just emotional." You bury your face in her legs. This way, you can't see how Wanda smiles. You are finally her baby, her girl to take care of. She strokes your hair, gently combing it through with her fingers.

Wanda carefully pulls your chin up a bit so you can see her when she speaks. "I know something that'll make you feel better." She takes off her jumper, which makes your jaw drop.

"Wan-" you start but she cuts you off.

"Shhh, just do as I say. I will take care of you." She unclasps her bra, exposing her breasts. You close your eyes and look away out of manners, but she tuts you and grabs your chin.

"No baby, open your eyes." Wanda guides your mouth to her nipple by your chin. You wrap your lips around her nipple. "Good girl, so good for me," she says in a raspy voice. You look up at her and start sucking and softly nibbling.

Her fingers go down underneath your shirt. You then let out a shocked, whimpering noise. Not only because of her hands touching your sensitive waist, but also because a fluid has come into your mouth from her nipple, something you really didn't expect.

"It's okay, baby. You can drink it, but please switch to the other one in some time." The redhead's voice brings you back to ease. You drink the sweet milk like she told you to. Meanwhile, her hand slips into your loose joggers, softly rubbing you over your panties.

You whimper softly and switch nipples, looking up at her for reassurance. She hushes you, telling you it's okay and that she's just making you feel good. You kind of start to feel icky down there, so you're a bit confused, but you have faith in her.

When you tend to nibble on her nipple a bit too hard, Wanda quickly pinches your thigh to make you gasp. "Sweety, if you want to nibble, I would prefer if you did it on mommy's neck. That's less sensitive." She guides your milk leaking mouth to her neck so you can carelessly nibble there.

Your whimpers get louder when she slips her fingers in your undies, touching your private parts. It feels intense but good, even though it makes you feel all shy.

"Pretty little thing. You're doing amazing. Just let me do this." Wanda's finger slips in the hole where all the wetness comes from. It feels really weird but adds to the intensity.

She first slips her finger in and out, the sticky wetness your body created there makes that really easy. She then keeps her finger inside and curls it into the walls of your pussy, which makes you audibly gasp.

When after a bit of playing, she adds another finger, you completely let go of the nibbling and sucking. "Mommy, that hurts!" You cry out at the stretch, but as soon as the pain has come, it is gone, leaving a full and intense feeling.

At first, you were trying really hard to keep in all the noises she worked out of you, but then you started to let go. When Wanda didn't get mad for the noise, you knew it was okay and let it all out, including sobs. Wanda rewarded you heavily for this.

Wanda is so proud of you, continuing to work your body in the way she knows to. With all previous girls she has fucked, it would take her time to figure out how they liked it. That's how she knows you are meant for her, she knows exactly what to do.

She keeps switching between thrusting and curling up her fingers. She also adds in a bit of extra clit stimulation, knoding you are almost there. And indeed, a wave of pleasure crashes over you, reaching a high. "That's a good girl."

You sob from the intense feeling, she keeps rubbing your clit through it, until you quite literally shake her off. You cuddle back into her, Wanda's lips find yours. She softly kisses you in a caregiving way. A tired feeling suddenly hits you, making you yawn. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. I'll be here when you wake up." That's how you softly fall asleep in Wanda's arms.

~

A/N - I'm so sorry for fucking this up again, I hope you still enjoyed reading it even though it is again too short and written whilst I was half asleep. I'll be better next time.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

WE NEED A SERIES ABOUT HOW SKZ ARE LIKE WHEN THEY'RE INTERESTED IN SOMEONE

i just read leeknow's version and I'm so interested! please consider making it a series 💖

Ooooooooh- okay okay!!!

This anon ask is what got the most popular views in my vote so welcome to the second post of March!!!

What a beautiful way to start the autumn season :)

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes and should not be taken seriously, this is for funsies.

𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐊𝐢𝐝𝐬: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 '𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲' 𝐘𝐨𝐮?

Bang Chan:

His Libra Moon/Mercury and Scorpio Venus means you have to be friends with him for him to develop a crush on you, he might think you're pretty from the moment he sees you but he has to build a rapport and establish a good 'vibe' before he even thinks about dating you.

Chris would be more giggly and physically affectionate than usual, he'd give you more compliments than he does his other friends...might even be more teasing or playful towards you.

He honestly seems like the type of man that would ask you out over Messenger but I hope he would take the time to confess his feelings to you in person.

'So...we've been friends for a while right? And I think you know that I like you more than a friend...so would you want to be something that's more than friends?'

Lee Know:

Lee Know's Sagittarius Moon/Scorpio Mercury and Venus indicates a slow...SLOW burn type of dynamic where he could be crushing on you for MONTHS and you wouldn't even notice.

The type to scrawl through your social media but would not even utter a single confession to your face until he can't take it anymore and he has to spill.

He would prefer to make the first move so he can think of a hundred different ways of how the scenario could go, he would put effort into showing care for you and then act nonchalant about it.

Lee Know is the type to pay for your coffee every time you're together and then act like it's a gesture he'd do for anyone (which we know he wouldn't).

'You don't know I like you??? I have liked you for months now, I bought you coffee all the time, I thought I was being obvious'

Seo Changbin:

Changbin's Virgo Venus and Leo Moon with Cancer Mercury also indicates he would probably show his attraction to you in an indirect manner because Virgo Venuses love to enjoy showing their attraction to you in the most quietly 'detailed' way.

Is the type to ask you about your workout routine or your favourite places to eat, he's also the type to keep a list in his phone of things you enjoy so he can ask about them later.

'So...you mentioned how you like guys that work out right? Does that mean you would like me when I workout?'

Hwang Hyunjin:

Hyunjin's Pisces Venus/ Virgo Moon (maybe)/Aries Mars indicates a man who's a true romantic and an impulsive one at that.

His fanciness for you would manifest in him being more giggly and physically affectionate with you, maybe casually rubbing your arm or welcoming you with a squishy hug.

Eventually, he'll reach a point where he's so overwhelmed and bursting with feelings...he just HAS to reveal them to you and his confession would make you feel like a Hollywood romantic drama.

'I have to tell you something and so I'm going to say it before I can't...I like you, I REALLY like you and I can't hide it anymore.'

Lee Felix/Han Jisung:

I'm combining these two together because they share both the same Venus and Mars signs with the exception of Han being a Pisces Moon and Felix being an Aries Moon.

They both would be the nervous type and Han might even be more shy with you than he would be with his other friends whilst Felix might be more conversational and maybe even to the point of annoying with how friendly and hyper he might be.

Han would be interested in understanding what your hobbies, values and desires are.

Felix would bring you gifts, offer you suggestions for songs to listen too and try and become invested in the hobbies you're interested in.

( I am watching Law and Order: SVU and I get why people have been invested in Olivia and Elliot for 25 years because they are both fine af!!!)

They would both be nervous and in fact might give you enough hints that they are interested in you to make the first move on them.

Han: 'So...if someone said that I like you...what would you think about that?'

Felix: 'Look...I don't know how else to say this but I...I like you and I don't know what to do about it'.

Kim Seungmin:

Seungmin's Cancer Moon and Virgo Mercury indicates a forthright but gentle way of expressing his feelings for you, sure he's sassy and a bit cheeky but his confession would still be romantic.

But definitely more straightforward than the others, people who have a Virgo Mercury don't like to sugar coat anything.

'Here's your coffee order, did I get it right?...I like you- I really, really like you and I wouldn't mind taking you out- just the two of us...if it's okay with you?'

Yang Jeongin:

Jeongin and him having an Aries Venus WITH a Mercury in Aquarius??? Friends pffft what friends?

Jeongin is too impatient to form a friendship with you and he's probably the type to openly admit his feelings for you in a calm and slightly non-chalant manner- like the true fuckboi he would be.

'You like me noona, I know you do because I want you even more so what are we waiting for? I want you to be mine'

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @creativechaoticloner @hipster-shiz @cherry-0420 @ja3hwa @justaaveragereader @marievllr-abg @umbralhelwolf @starsareseen @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @mrcarrots @wisejudgedragonhairdo @junieshohoho @partywithgyu @whatsk-poppinhomies @hologramhoneymoon @gyuhanniescarat @staytinyinmybpack @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @berryberrytan @sensitiveandhungry @laylasbunbunny @bangchanbabygirlx @i-love-ateez @anyamaris @krishastumblernow @hexheathen @michel-angelhoe @northerngalxy @starillusion13 @escapetheshark @daddysspecialdollyworld @jus2passtime @shroomoth @marykpoppins @leomggg @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell @leenaur

[skrrts]

Home Is ✧ yeosang version (oneshot)

✧ gn!reader x kang yeosang ✧ genre: non-idol, slice of life, fluff, romance ✧ word count: 1,3k ✧ warnings: food / eating

You have found the love of your life, and now the two of you are ready for the next step in your relationship: moving together. Neither of you can wait to finally be able to spend every day together but it's out of the question ... the whole progress looks a lot more casual and aesthetical on social media than it actually is. Chaos. Your furniture delivery is delayed but that doesn't mean you can't have a cute dinner in the middle of unpackaged moving boxes and fake candlelight. It still feels like a dream, looking at the most beautiful man with whom you'll now truly spend your life with.

a/n: #2 of my friday oneshot series for September ft. the hyung line. delayed because i deleted the original post while on a trip. hope the start of autumn is a pleasant one for you so far 🤎🍂

It was a little silly, the way how you shoved some of the moving boxes together as a replacement for a table and threw a bedsheet over it so that it looked much nicer than simply doing it without that. You placed one of your smaller plants on top and added one of the LED candles you bought the other day. Soft sounds came from the kitchen, Yeosang unboxed a few plates to use instead of eating out of the plastic containers your takeaway food arrived in.

This was your very first apartment and everything was so new and exciting, easily outweighing the downsides of it, the stress and endless amount of work still waiting for you. Your parents owned a small house and until last week, you lived in the small rooftop apartment your dad built for you. It had been small but perfect for you and you’d always cherish the hours you spent there growing up, time with friends and most of all, those soft nights with Yeosang. 

The two of you had been dating for over two years and when Yeosang proposed to move together, you accepted it without hesitation. Your parents were thrilled and excited to see their youngest child venturing into this new part of life and there had been many helpful hands to help bring all you needed here. Now all that was left were shelves to set up and boxes to clean out, well and waiting for your bedroom and living room furniture which had been delayed by a week due to poor weather conditions in your area.

It would take weeks until this really would be homely but Yeosang and you both were simple people and you managed to feel happy with the smallest of things.

“The dinner is served.” Yeosang carried two large places swiftly inside, placing them on your small setup table. 

You allowed yourself to admire his beauty for a moment. While he wore comfortable jeans and a loose white shirt, his muscular body still was showcased beautifully, and while his brown hair reached his eyes by now, the birthmarks you adored so much were still visible.

Yeosang covered them up still when you two started to date but now, he was comfortable not to do that anymore and you were proud of him.

“What are you looking at?” he asked in his deep voice, a curious smile on his lips when you blinked, being caught once more and quickly picking up the fork and knife. 

“Just was thinking how I get to stare at you properly now at any time of the day without having to answer anyone’s question of what I am looking at,” you teased but wanted to be sincere. Your parents always taught you the importance of being sincere and honest with your partner and you liked how the two of you boosted each other’s confidence, helping out with the insecurities you faced.

You weren’t perfect but you could remind each other how you were perfect in the other’s eyes.

“Is that so? Well, I cannot deny that is a good point,” he chuckled and clapped his hands together: “Thank you for the shared meal.” 

With that, Yeosang also started to eat but he was slow, his eyes on you adoringly. You did not realize just how hungry you must have been after all the hard work of today and it tasted even better than usual, your plate empty in no time.

Your boyfriend disappeared for a moment and returned with two plates of cake and you didn’t even know when he had the time to get those. “Now you are tempting me to eat sugar at such a late hour,” you laughed and he winked.

“Well, I was just thinking how I can spoil you to any given hour now without having anyone to ask if we always do it like that.”

Tch, using your own words against you, all you could do was smile.

Yeosang picked up a little bit from the cake, offering it to you on the tip of the fork. You carefully leaned over and accepted it. His pretty face was lit by the fake candles, making him look like what you thought angels must look like.

The cake was delicious and you soon repaid the favor. This was nice, you enjoyed how soft everything felt, the excitement to know you’d share your life like this from now on.

Once you were done, you cleaned up and decided to call it enough for the day. 

Yeosang prepared the couch, there were blankets and pillows and more candles. Yet, the most beautiful part was him with arms wide open, inviting you to come into his embrace and you did so without hesitation. 

He hugged you tightly, wrapping your bodies into the blankets as he turned on the TV. You relaxed against his body and his arms kept you tight as you picked a random show you two watched before, something easy that did not require your full attention. Today really had been too exhausted to pay any show much mind.

Yeosang began to place little kisses on top of your hair and you find yourself sighing. 

“You are okay?” his voice was soft and caring, his fingers entwined with yours as he leaned a little forward so that you could look at his face.

“Mhm, I was just thinking, this is nice. I mean, I know in theory we do not do anything different from all the evenings we spent at your or my old place but knowing this is our home now…”

The budget had been a bit tight but this would be more than enough, you did not need a whole lot of space.

Yeosang’s eyes wandered over the living room or the parts you managed to set up earlier before he smiled too: “Knowing how it won’t get boring.... I am excited, thinking about mornings where you get nervous because you cannot find your keys and they just fell off the shelf or when I have no memory just where I left my phone in the middle of the night.”

It was something the two of you would do very likely. You could already see it in your mind, how two mature people just were silly and clumsy together, maybe a little lost. 

“But also, do not forget how we will be too late at work because we got lost in each other’s embrace, little kisses exchanged while one of us mumbles how we should get going but the other is simply unwilling to let go just yet.” 

Most of your friends had a hard time imagining how the two of you were like that as you were considered the mature ones but it occurred several times and now living together, well.

You loved how you were a little more silly when it just was the two of you together like that. 

“That sounds amazing,” Yeosang admitted, humming as his gaze wandered back to the TV.

“I do not care if in the end, we do decide to expand families or live just like that, the two of us. I know that now, my home in form of the person I adore the post and the place where I return to are finally together and I am so very lucky for that.”

Your cheeks turned red just a little when he said that.  “Sh, you make me all shy!” you complained and Yeosang grinned: “Good, get used to it.”

You rolled your eyes and he laughed, pressing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“I love you, so very much,” he whispered and your hand rested on his cheek.

“I love you too, Yeosang.”

Yeosang looked happy and content when he looked at you and for a moment you just remained like that before snuggling closer to him again. The TV was still running in the background but all you could think about was how you had a future, one really starting now, together with the man you loved more than anything in the world.

[fatgirlonadate-blog]

21 Days - Day 3

Annoying. Everything about today is annoying. The sun is shining too brightly, the birds are singing too loudly, and your apartment is too damn small. You thought going on a walk might help—clear your mind, stretch your legs, exist in nature, all that good stuff. But all you've managed to accomplish is being annoyed outside rather than inside.

Leaves crunch beneath your feet on the sidewalk as you make your way back toward the house. There's really nothing to see out here. Sure, it's beautiful. The trees are a bright collage of red, orange, and yellow, and the small town has a certain charm to it. It's a breath of fresh air compared to the bustling streets and skyscrapers of Linkon. You'd like to enjoy the scenery and the cool autumn breeze, but all of it is lost on you.

There's a reason for your bad mood, but you don’t want to admit it. You've tried to deny it, avoid it, distract yourself, and pretend it doesn’t exist. But you know why you're upset. It's because of a certain someone with sky-blue eyes and a name that rhymes with savior.

Last night, you'd crawled into bed early and read Moments' posts until you fell asleep. You woke up shortly after to the feel of warmth against your back and one of Xavier's strong arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you tighter against him. He nuzzled your neck, his lips ghosting past your pulse point, and mumbled something unintelligible before falling back asleep.

It's unclear if he did it in his sleep or on purpose, and you're not sure you even want to know. The feel of his warm breath against your neck and the way his fingers stroked the soft skin below your belly button is burned into your memory.

But this morning, when you'd woken up, Xavier was already gone, and the spot where he had been was cold. That alone wasn’t enough to upset you. It was the fact that, once you'd gotten dressed for the day, you realized he wasn't even in the apartment. No call, no text, no note on the fridge. He was just gone.

It shouldn't bother you. You're certainly not his keeper. You've been his neighbor for months and have gone days at a time without seeing him or knowing where he was. Hell, you didn't even know he lived in your apartment building until recently. But this feels different. Shouldn't a fake husband let his fake wife know when he's going to be gone for hours? And shouldn't a fake husband stay in bed and wait for his fake wife to wake up in the morning after cuddling her all night? Even your delusional thoughts are pouting.

You shove your hands deep into your jacket pockets as you turn down your street and head toward the house. You're not sure why you've let yourself get into this mess. You know better than to develop feelings for anyone; no one ever feels the same way about you. Out of the four men in your life, only one seems interested. And, even with him, you're not quite sure if Sylus wants to win your heart or cut it out of your chest.

He's also not Xavier.

You reach the front door of the apartment in what seems like record time. You thought you'd taken a long route, but apparently, it wasn’t long enough. You fish the keys from your jacket pocket and swing the door open with more force than necessary, slamming it shut behind you.

Xavier is sitting at the dining table, casually eating cherries from a bowl as if you haven’t been worried about him all day. He looks up at you with sleepy eyes and a soft smile on his face. "Hey, welcome home. Would you like anything to eat?"

"Where have you been?" you demand, ignoring his fake husband questions. You mean for your tone to sound angry, but instead, it just sounds whiny and petulant.

Xavier raises a pale eyebrow at you but doesn't otherwise react. He pops another cherry in his mouth. "I went to the store. We didn’t have a lot of groceries. I had to guess at your favorite snacks. You like chips, right?"

You stand in the doorway and stare at him for a long moment. He's infuriating. How does he not understand what you're actually asking?

"Why didn’t you tell me you were going to the store today?"

Xavier cocks his head to the side, studying you for a moment like he's choosing his words carefully. "I didn’t think you'd care. But I'll tell you before I leave next time."

You nod and finally take off your jacket and shoes. "Good. You should. We're on a mission, and we don’t know the neighborhood. What if something happened to you?"

Xavier furrows his brow. "What could happen?"

You sit down at the table across from him and snag a cherry from the bowl. "I don’t know. What if you got hit by a car? Or attacked by wanderers? I wouldn’t have even known where you were."

"You were worried about me," Xavier says, and the smile tugging at the corner of his lips seems to brighten the whole room.

"I was not worried!" You start to argue but then give up with an exaggerated sigh at the look on his face. "Fine, maybe a little."

"Maybe a little," he echoes quietly, leaning forward to catch your eyes with his. "I promise that next time, I'll text you."

"Thank you," you say, popping another cherry into your mouth.

You snack in comfortable silence. It’s nice, actually. You've never felt the need to babble or fill the silence with him. It's easy to just exist together.

"Oh," Xavier says, looking toward the kitchen as if he's just remembered something. "I got something for you. Close your eyes."

You look at him curiously, feeling excited despite not knowing what it could be. "You did? What is it?"

"Hold on."

He slides his chair back from the table to stand up, and walks into the kitchen. He disappears around the corner and you hear the sound of something rustling. "Eyes closed?"

"Yes!" you call out, closing your eyes obediently.

Xavier’s soft footsteps come closer until he stops in front of you. His hand encircles your wrist and pulls it away from your lap, and you feel him press an object into your hand. He uses his other hand to close your fingers around it. It’s slim, smooth, and cool to the touch.

"Open."

You open your eyes and are met with a flash of blue and white before you're able to focus on what you're holding. Flowers—a bouquet of small blue and white flowers tied with a simple silk ribbon.

"Oh," you breathe out in surprise. "Are these wildflowers?"

Xavier shakes his head. "No, they're forget-me-nots."

Forget-me-nots. You hold the flowers up to admire them. They're beautiful—simple but beautiful. You've heard the name, but you’re not sure you've ever actually seen forget-me-nots before. They’re far less common than roses.

"Thank you," you murmur, still looking at the flowers. "You got me flowers?"

Xavier nods and drops his hands from yours, stuffing them in his pockets. "Yeah, they made me think of you."

You glance up at him, surprised to see a faint flush on his cheeks. He looks so shy and sweet that your heart does a funny little skip in your chest. This man. This man is going to be the death of you.

"Why these ones specifically?" you ask, hoping not to sound ungrateful but curious to know. You suppose he didn’t get roses because they’re too romantic. But you've never even seen a bouquet of this type of flower before. It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing someone just buys on a whim.

His blush creeps up to his ears, and he rubs the back of his neck, no longer meeting your eyes. "Well, they’re forget-me-nots."

"Yes..." You agree, drawing the word out. He had already said that.

"They’re forget-me-nots," he repeats, gesturing at them with one of his hands. "You give them as a promise to never forget someone, and when you look at them, you’ll be reminded of who gave them to you."

Your mouth forms a silent "o," and you glance down at the small flowers with new eyes. He bought them because of their meaning. He wants you to always remember each other, to never forget.

Without thinking, you set the flowers down on the table and stand up, throwing your arms around his neck in a hug. He stumbles back a step in surprise, his hands going automatically to your waist to steady you. After a moment, you feel the shyness leave his posture as he wraps his arms around you.

"Silly boy," you say quietly against his shoulder, "You know I could never forget you. No matter what."

He exhales harshly near your ear, hugging you even tighter in response. You feel the press of his lips against your temple. When he speaks, his voice is low and more vulnerable than you've ever heard it before. "Promise?"

"I'll always remember you," you promise him.

As you pull away, you can’t help but notice an almost sad look in his eyes. It’s a strange expression for the happiness of the moment, but you're familiar with it. You’ve seen that look on his face a dozen times over the last few months. There’s a secret in it, you think—one he's not going to tell you and that you'll likely never understand. ___________________ Do not fear, the spice is on the way!

[redbleedingrose]

Autumn Court with Eris Vanserra Mood Board Part 2

+ some headcanons

Okay, so, I think that Eris would be terrified when he meets you. He is absolutely terrified for you, and for himself. He is terrified to lose you. You, this perfect, beautiful, smart, incredibly kind, and sweet person is the first to ever love him fully, without conditions, with your entire soul. Even his own family has expectations of him: his father is a bastard who abuses Eris at every turn, his mother expects safety and protection with Eris (which he will always, undoubtedly, provide to her), his brothers expect for him to act as a role model (and are also trying to murder him any chance they can get to secure the autumn throne for themselves). You are the first person to care about him, as he is. And he cannot help but be afraid that someone, like Beron, would go at any lengths to hurt you so that they can control Eris.

I think initially, he would hide his feelings from you. It would take a really long time, decades even, for him to even admit to himself that he has feelings for you. That the racing of his heart whenever he sees you, that the heat he feels on his freckled cheeks and pointed ears, that the knot he feels in his throat, all mean something. He would almost will himself to try to act indifferent around you despite his feelings. And eventually…

Well eventually, he can’t hold himself back anymore. He feels incredibly selfish for it, but he wants to know you, he wants to know what it feels like to have you smiling at him, he wants to know what it feels like to have that pretty flush on your cheeks be because of him. He wants to know what your uncontrolled laughter sounds like, the laughter that spills from your lips as you watch the village children shakily, but bravely, feed apples to the court horses. He even wants to know what makes your eyebrows furrow in frustration, your lips twitch in annoyance at the male who repeatedly flirts with you despite saying no to him multiple times (don’t worry, Er will get rid of him for you ;)) He wants to know your heart and soul. He wants to know you, inside and out.

He builds you this beautiful home that has a library with floor to ceiling windows that overlooks the Autumn Forests, and multiple little reading nooks that you both snuggle in together and get lost in your favorite stories. Er is constantly going out of his way to make sure that all your favorite book series are pre-ordered for when they come out with updates. He has even gone as far as reaching out to some of your favorite authors, asking for a meet and greet on your behalf so you can ask them all your piping questions. Some of your greatest friendships have arisen through these set ups that Eris has done for you.

The house has a gigantic fireplace that acts as the soul of your home, the magic of Eris’ fire constantly keeping it lit with a fire that keeps you warm to the bone, without ever overheating you.

And lets not forget the chefs kitchen Eris has installed. Now, even if you are not good at cooking, you can bet that Eris is. He paid attention to his lessons from his mother dutifully, and will wake up before you just to make sure you have a warm cup of chai and a variety of food to choose from for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He loves feeding you, often bringing you food in bed, and settling down in front of you so he can feed you himself.

Bastard male always smirks when you’re done eating, pushing you down onto the bed while lifting up your nightie and pulling your panties to the side, “Time for my dessert lovey”

The closet is brimming with clothes that he has had specially designed for you. You are, one day, going to be his High Lady of Autumn Court, and he thinks you should be treated as such. Constantly gifting you with jewelry and dresses that make you feel like a queen in your own right. He always matches with you, of course, you are the best dressed couple in Prythian when your relationship becomes public.

He thinks allowing you to love him is the most selfish thing he has ever done, and he will whisper apologizes to you for it (multiple times throughout your relationship in fact) because he believes that his love for you, your love for him, has put you in an insurmountable amount of risk, and you will kiss him sweetly and murmur thanks against his lips.

You will thank him for being selfish, thank him for letting you love him, thank him for being incredibly brave by choosing to be with you, rather than be apart, and finally, thank him for his endless devotion, boundless love and adoration for you.

Masterlist

[byhimawari]

“to me, you are the morning.”

(a RivaMika drabble)

Art by @onigiri-dorkk 🍙🤍

“Oi, brat. Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

Mikasa’s hand pauses just before she can pour the sugar into her tea, and the sight nearly makes him twitch in discomfort. She follows his gaze, seeing that he’s staring at her hand, and then looks back at him with an incredulous expression.

“What are you? The tea police?” Mikasa teases as she watches him take his seat across from her.

“If I was, I’d have you arrested by now, brat,” Levi says dully, but Mikasa doesn’t miss the hint of humor in his tone, “You’re ruining the natural flavor of the tea leaves.”

She dunks the spoonful of sugar into her tea cup and looks at him with a kittenish look in her eyes, never passing up the opportunity to spite him.

“It’s a matter of preference, Levi,” she sips, enjoying the slight grimace in his features, “Just like how you preferred to fall in love with me when you could’ve chosen someone much less – ” she gives him a little smile that further validates her point, “ – bratty.”

Levi rolls his eyes with an amused smirk, a small scoff escaping, “Touche.”

With an amused beam herself, Mikasa pours tea into his cup and slides it over to him, “Good morning, by the way.”

He chuckles in defeat, his quiet smile forming softly upon his lips as he lifts his teacup, “Good morning, Mikasa.”

They sip their tea in comfortable silence, their ritual of peace that unintentionally became reserved for one another every morning. Mikasa observes his poise, elegant as it's always been even in his most simplest states, as he sets his cup down and lets out a small breath of contentment. She also notices he’s wearing the light blue dress shirt she had bought him, the very one that he had nagged about her wasting her money on. Her heart warms at the sight, warming up even more with the tea that reaches her soul in more ways than one, a delicious reminder of what she has with him, with each other.

The sounds of birds passing by suddenly fill the air and Levi turns his head to gaze out the window beside them. Outside was a flock of birds soaring through the air, weightless and free, almost symbolic in the way they fly in unison, yet still go in their own direction. She smiles, her spirits lifted, like that of a mother’s reassurance saying she’s done well. The world knows how much she’s needed just that.

“The mornings have been quite beautiful these days, haven’t they?” Mikasa tells him softly as she stares out the window in admiration with him, seeing the life she once believed she would never live long enough to witness – a life of color, clear as day.

She watches the warm hued leaves float gracefully down from the luscious autumn trees, complemented with the soft rays of golden sunlight streaming through the window pane that cast a gentle glow across the room, and when she sees the birds fly off into the clouds of the morning skies, she thinks to herself: Ah. So this is a peaceful life.

“Mikasa,” his voice draws her back in like an embrace.

“Hm?” her eyes embrace him back.

And it’s when that very bodiless embrace pulls away that Mikasa stands corrected on what a peaceful life looks like.

“Marry me.”

The wind chimes play a melody and it’s her heart that sings to its beat.

“W-what?”

Levi reaches for her hand across the table – his touch gentle and kind as she’s always known it to be – while his other reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, wooden box, resurfacing a feeling of belonging she thought was long gone and far beyond her reach.

Yet, here is this man, strong and true and real, handing it right over to her.

“Marry me, Mikasa,” Levi says again, this time with more conviction, more heart, “Grant me the privilege of loving you, as I always have, all these years. Because I know no greater honor than to be yours…officially.”

Levi gently wipes a tear from her cheek that she didn’t even realize had escaped, framing her cheek with his palm as he concludes his promise, “And let’s keep staying here. Just you and me, in this cabin, sipping tea every morning with as much damn sugar as you want.”

How can she ever say no?

“Yes,” Mikasa says in a breath, her heart welled up in utter euphoria as her smile touches her ears, “Yes, Levi. I will marry you.”

Levi smiles back in response, another reserved smile made just for her. He frames her face with his palms, leaning across the table to kiss her tenderly, gratefully. Her tears reach in between their lips, and for the first time in a long time, they no longer taste bitter.

Mikasa sniffles and lets out a soft, exasperated laugh, wiping her tears away with her free hand while Levi slides the ring on her finger. “Isn’t a man supposed to ask for a woman’s hand in marriage, not demand it? You’re not my captain anymore, you know.”

He only smirks, bringing her hand to his lips and planting a trail of light kisses across her knuckles, “Because you don’t have a choice.”

She gives him a playful smile. “Funny to always assume you’ll get your way.”

“Well…” Levi eyes the ring on her finger before looking back at her, his eyes both pooled with humor and love as he stands and walks to her side, pulling her up into an embrace, “Didn’t I?”

Her usual urge to correct him ceases to exist. With a fulfilled heart, Mikasa wraps her arms around him as well, her gaze peering out the window behind him, watching as the morning sun blankets the world in the same way he blankets hers.

“Yes. Yes you did.”

—

THANK YOU AGAIN @onigiri-dorkk FOR DRAWING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING PIECE THAT INSPIRED ME TO WRITE AGAIN! You’re seriously the greatest to ever do it! I love you so much and I’m so honored I got to collab with you 🍙🤍 Please keep doing what you do, because you’re AMAZING AT IT PERIODT.

[yamayuandadu]

Tamamizu Monogatari, a unique love story

This article, unlike most of my recent longer pieces, was not planned in advance. I learned about the subject very recently, and instantly realized I absolutely have to introduce it to more people, the previously posted schedule be damned. The Tale of Tamamizu (玉水物語, Tamamizu Monogatari) is a story about a fox turning into a human, but a rather unconventional one, filled with an unusual degree of sympathy for the eponymous protagonist and focused on a rather unique relationship. In addition to summarizing it in detail and explaining the possible inspirations behind it, I will also try to explain why the tale found a new life on social media as a, broadly speaking, lgbt narrative, and why I think there is a compelling case to be made for such an interpretation. Unless stated otherwise, all images used through the article are taken from the Kyoto University Rare Materials Digital Archive, on whose website you can view scans of the original Tamamizu Monogatari.

The Tale of Tamamizu, also known as The Contest of Autumn Leaves (Momiji Awase) is an example of otogi-zōshi, illustrated prose narrative. The story was presumably originally composed in the Muromachi period (1335-1573), and it survives in multiple copies dated either to the early Edo period or to the end of the Japanese “middle ages” directly preceding it. The identity of the author (or authors) is unknown. Despite its apparent popularity in the past, it seems no major studies of the tale of Tamamizu have ever been conducted. A streamlined translation (or rather an extensive summary) was published online by Kyoto University Library in 2001 and can be accessed here. In 2018, a full translation, as well as a brief introduction, were prepared for the anthology Monsters, Animals, and Other Worlds. A Collection of Short Medieval Japanese Tales. Still, it doesn't seem either sparked all that much interest in Tamamizu, despite the story’s obvious modern appeal. Since the tale of Tamamizu is not well known, I will start with a detailed summary. I am consistently using female pronouns for Tamamizu after she transforms, as does the older translation. The other English translation switches between female and male pronouns. I will explain in the final paragraph of the article why I made the decision to follow the former. The Tale of Tamamizu The story of Tamamizu does not start with the eponymous character, but rather with a certain mr. Takayanagi from Toba. He is troubled, as while he is already 30, he has no children. He decides the only choice is to pray to gods and buddhas. This actually does work, and his wife becomes pregnant, and after the expected period gives birth to a daughter. She doesn’t get a name at any point in the story. The girl’s birth is followed by a timeskip. As we learn, she was distinguished by twenty five features associated with beauty. This is apparently a reference to the belief that a buddha possessed thirty two specific physical traits; the number might have been altered to twenty five because of a popular group of twenty five bodhisattvas associated with Amida. By the time she reached the age of fifteen or so, she also developed great skill in composing poetry in both Japanese and Chinese. Her parents at some point decided that it would be ideal to send her to serve in the emperor’s court in the future. The girl spends most of the time in awe of the blooming of flowers, the wind and other similar phenomena, as one would expect from a literary character of similar status. She maintains her own flower garden, and spends much of her time there.

On one of the days when she visited it alongside her friend Tsukisae, the daughter of her nurse, she caught the attention of a fox. The fox is, at this point in time, not yet Tamamizu. He wishes he could introduce himself to the girl. He considers the standard method - transforming into a nobleman - but he realizes this would likely sadden the girl’s parents, and would tarnish her reputation. He falls into despair. It does not exactly help that his attempts at visiting the garden again end up poorly - on the way there, he gets pelted with stones and then, after trying again, shot with an arrow. Still, he continued to hope to meet with the girl. An opportunity finally arose through a lucky coincidence. Another family living in the same area had multiple sons, but no daughters, much to the parents chagrin. They loudly lamented that they wished they had at least one girl among the children. The fox overheard that and realized it might be an opportunity. He transformed himself into a teenage girl (curiously, the story specifically puts her at the exact same age as the unnamed second protagonist), and enters their house. She explains that she is an orphan, and while passing by she overheard the family’s woes. She offers to become their daughter. The couple instantly agrees.

The fox spends some time living with her adoptive family, though she gets sad easily and keeps bursting into tears. After some time, they offer that they will find her a husband in due time, but she reacts to that poorly, and eventually suggests she would prefer to become the servant of a noble lady. Her adoptive mother agrees this isn’t a bad idea, and reveals that her younger sister is a lady-in-waiting of the daughter of a local noble, mr. Takayanagi. She suggests the fox could become her attendant too. She is overjoyed at this prospect, and is soon sent to Takayanagi’s mansion to meet with his daughter. The girl receives her new attendant warmly, and gives her a nickname, Tamamizu-no-mae (Tamamizu for short). They get along really well, and Tamamizu gets to partake in her various activities, serves her food and drinks, and even sleeps in the same bed (Tsukisae does too, though). While Tamamizu does remarkably well as a human, some of her fox habits remain. Most notably, she is really afraid of dogs. Her lady sympathizes with her plight, and actually bans dogs from her household. This is a much welcome change from Tamamizu’s point of view, though apparently some other members of the staff start to view her as a coward because of this, and simultaneously resent her closeness with the girl. The bond between Tamamizu and the girl reaches a new level when on a moonlight night they spontaneously compose a poem together. It deals with longing. We are told it was followed up by multiple other poems, which are not quoted in the story. Eventually the girl gets tired and heads to her room. However, Tamamizu remains outside gazing at the moon and eventually starts crying, unsure what fate awaits her. Tsukisae, who was inside all along, actually becomes concerned about Tamamizu, and says she feels sorry for her, correctly identifying the cause of her sorrow as love for an unidentified party. She shares her thoughts with their lady (in the form of a poem, of course). The latter summons Tamamizu inside, and soon all three go to bed together. Tamamizu is still overwhelmed by her feelings and can’t fall asleep, though. Tamamizu continues to serve the girl for the next three years. She also remains in touch with her adoptive mother, who sends her letters and new clothes every now and then. One day, many visitors arrived in the house for a friendly competition. The winner will be the person with the most beautiful collection of autumn leaves. Tamamizu decides she must find some for her mistress to give her an advantage. To accomplish that, at night for the first time in years she turns back into a fox, and leaves to visit her siblings. Not the adoptive ones, though. As it turns out, she has two fox brothers, one younger and one older. She actually hasn’t visited them in so long they assumed she died and held funerary services for her in the meanwhile. They are overjoyed to learn that is not the case, and after learning about her current life agree to help her with finding unique leaves. She tells them to leave them on the veranda of her mistress’ mansion, and reassures them it’s safe for foxes to be there thanks to the earlier decision to not allow dogs on the premises. After the visit Tamamizu returns home in her human form. Tsukisae and her mistress ask her where she has been, and she jokes about meeting with a “dubious fellow” (which, to be fair, is not even a lie, given the typical folkloric portrayal of foxes). This in turn leads to more jokes, revolving around Tamamizu no longer thinking about her mistress. She feels distressed by this suggestion.

Tamamizu’s brothers in the meanwhile succeed in their search for thrilling leaves. One of them found a branch with five-colored leaves decorated with the Lotus Sutra (as you probably know, one of the main religious texts in the Mahayana Buddhist tradition). Tamamizu is overjoyed, and instantly brings them to her mistress. The girl received plenty of leaves from other people in the meanwhile, but all of them pale in comparison. She is so happy about the gift that she requests Tamamizu to also write poems meant to accompany the presentation of the collection. She protests that she is unsuitable, but eventually accepts this honor and gets down to work. The parents of the girl came along to watch her write, and both of them concluded she is exceptionally skilled. She ends up providing five poems, one for each color of leaves gathered. They are subsequently combined by these the girl wrote herself.

Obviously, the main characters’ joint entry wins the competition. This grants the girl such fame that the emperor declares she should come to his court. Since her father is not affluent enough to pay for traveling there, he bestows additional estates upon him to make that possible. Even Tamamizu gets her own estate, Kakuta in Settsu Province. However, she decides it will be for the best to give it to her adoptive parents. Shortly after that, Tamamizu’s adoptive mother falls sick. She leaves her mistress to attend to her, but it did not help much and her condition kept worsening. Therefore, her stay had to be extended over and over again. This predicament worries her mistress, who sends her a letter to let her know that it is boring and gloomy without her around, and implores her to return as soon as her mother’s condition improves. Tsukisae is similarly concerned. Both of them voice their concerns through poems, which at this point should not be surprising for the reader.

Tamamizu of course appreciates these displays of sympathy, but she cannot return, so in response she only reassures both of them that she will meet with them again as soon as possible.  Shortly after that, the mother’s condition worsened yet again. The entire family laments through the entire day, but eventually everyone manages to fall asleep - save for Tamamizu. In the middle of the night Tamamizu notices that an old, hairless fox entered the house. She quickly realizes that he was her paternal uncle (a fox uncle, that is. Not a relative of her adoptive parents). The illness was his doing, as she quickly realizes. Tamamizu requests him to leave her adoptive mother alone. However, the old fox says he cannot do that, as the illness is his act of revenge against her family, since her father killed his child. He concluded it is only right to make his daughter sick so that she dies too.

Tamamizu admits that this makes sense in theory, but she points out that acting upon desire for revenge will only bring bad karma, and bad karma from previous lives is why both of them were born as foxes in the first place. She offers the old fox a crash course in Buddhist ethics, and warns him that accumulating even more bad karma might lead to someone eventually killing him too, and to yet more rebirths in one of the three realms which are best to avoid (animals, hungry spirits, hell).

The old fox notes following buddhas is for humans, not for those born in other realms of rebirth (he’s not entirely wrong, humans are generally held to be in the optimal condition to seek enlightenment; animals must follow instinct and thus end up accumulating bad karma, devas are to preoccupied with celestial bliss), but eventually he relents and agrees that it would be wrong to kill the woman because of the actions of her father. He concludes that it would not even make him feel better, since his child would remain dead. He tells Tamamizu that evidently he was able to meet her because of good karma acquired in a past life, asks her to pray for his deceased child, and leaves, announcing he shall become a monk reciting nenbutsu from now on. Tamamizu did what he asked for, and even performed a funerary service for her late cousin. With the problem solved, her adoptive mother returned to good health. She was therefore free to meet with her mistress again. She was elevated to the rank of chujo no kimi, the foremost among servants. However, despite her mistress’ best efforts to make her feel appreciated, she was suffering from persistent bouts of melancholy. She wished she could confess her love and consummate the relationship, but she concluded that since she kept her identity secret for so long, it would be no longer possible to reveal it without losing the acceptance of the girl. She decides she must disappear. However, before that she prepares a long poem explaining her predicament.

She placed it in a box, and gave it to her mistress, explaining that it should only be opened if something happens to her. She then broke down in tears.

Tamamizu’s mistress does not fully understand what is happening, and asks if she perhaps is worried about their planned relocation to the imperial court. However, Tamamizu denies that and guarantees she will accompany her on the journey there. Her mistress starts crying too, and says she has hoped they will always be together. Shortly after, the day of the journey came. Tamamizu’s mistress and mr. Takayanagi, now recognized as a lord, were certain that she went with them, but as soon as they reached their destination it turned out she was nowhere to be found. Days upon days of grieving followed. Eventually, the girl realized that she had no choice but to open the box. From the poem contained within, she learned everything about Tamamizu, from the day they first met all the way up to the disappearance. It explained how she hoped to protect her mistress through her current life and beyond, but had to give up after realizing it was all in vain. In the final words of the poem, she firmly refers to her with the name she was given by the girl - Tamamizu.

The poem moves her deeply, but the story does not have a happy ending - we never learn what happened to Tamamizu afterwards.

Tamamizu’s forerunners

It is agreed that much like the considerably more famous Tamamo no Mae, Tamamizu in part depends on earlier Chinese literature about foxes. Not exactly on the same sort of stories, though - she is not exactly a malevolent seductress, to put it lightly. The key to finding her forerunners is the scene in the beginning when the still nameless fox considers transforming into a male suitor at first, before settling on the form of a female attendant, and the erudition she displays through the story. An argument can be made that this is conscious engagement with a very specific type of older fox story, largely forgotten today. In Tang China, fox stories enjoyed considerable popularity. You may remember that I mentioned this in passing a few months ago in another fox-themed article. One of the genres popular at the time was focused on fox suitors. There are many stories like that, but they largely follow a similar plot: a male fox falls in love with a human girl, takes the form of a dashing literatus and requests marriage. The girl’s family rejects the proposal, as despite charm and erudition the fox is ultimately an outsider with no family, and doesn’t depend on the well established institution of matchmaking. Afterwards, he typically tries to win the girl over with some sort of trick, and fails in the process, thus meeting his demise when his real identity is inevitably exposed.

In some cases, twists are introduced and the fox is effectively exploited by the family: for example, in the story about a certain mr. Hu (a common surname which is a homonym for the word for fox) and the granddaughter of the official Li Yuangong, the Li family agrees for the girl to be taught by the fox, and even asks him for advice on various matters, just to kill him once he outlived his usefulness.

Zhou Wenju's painting A Literary Garden (文苑图, Wenyuantu), showing a group of discouring Tang literati (wikimedia commons)

Many literati came from humble backgrounds, and only attained high positions thanks to success in the imperial examinations. However, their advances were often frowned upon by nobles, who saw them as upstarts. Therefore, faking a more notable origin was widespread to secure a better position in the high strata of society. All of this is reflected in the stories of the fox suitors. Xiaofei Kang, who wrote my favorite monograph about Chinese fox beliefs, notes that the stories might have effectively been a way to cope with everyday anxieties. In other words, perhaps the fox self insert fails so that the real person sharing his precarious status can succeed.

Another aspect of the Tale of Tamamizu which offers a clue about its origins is the focus on Buddhism, and its role in the lives of non-humans in particular. Tamamizu evidently attains a considerable familiarity with Buddhist doctrine, to the point the old fox basically seems to perceive her as thinking more like a human than a fox. Evidently, she doesn’t think being an animal should prevent one from seeking good karma. This seems to reflect a medieval Buddhist phenomenon. Roughly from the Insei period (1086-1185) up to the eighteenth century, and especially between the twelfth and fourteenth centuries, the dominant esoteric schools of Buddhism propagated the doctrine of hongaku (本覺), “original enlightenment”. This idea originates in an earlier Buddhis text, Awakening of Faith in the Mahāyāna. According to proponents of this idea all living beings, even plants, possessed an innate “Buddha nature”, as did natural features like mountains. They were innately capable of attaining enlightenment, or innately enlightened outright. Religion influences art, so it has been argued that the spread of new stories about animals behaving like people in the Muromachi period had a distinctly Buddhist dimension.

The modern reception of Tamamizu

Despite the fascinating themes of the story of Tamamizu, it only found a greater degree of modern recognition in 2019, outside of academic circles at that. I'm surprised it took so long, since when you think about it, the sensibilities of the author indeed seem surprisingly modern. The narrator even reassures us Tamamizu’s human form is the same age as the object of her affection, anticipating what sorts of shipping discourse could arise 700 years later. Anyway, in 2019 a fragment of the story was the subject of one of the classical Japanese literature questions from the National Center Test for University Admissions, a standardized university entrance exam held across Japan each January from 1990 to 2020. This obviously exposed an enormous number of people to it, not just exam-takers. Following this event, a Tamamizu fad seemingly swept social media and pixiv (curiously, there’s a single piece of art there which predates the phenomenon by six years; op actually updated the description in 2019 to say they are happy more people learned about the story). There’s even a Tamamizu Monogatari tag on Dynasty Scans as a result. It’s worth pointing out the wikipedia entry of the story was written in 2019 as well. Most curiously apparently a research project focused on Tamamizu, Kahoko Iguru’s Border transgression between species and gender as observed in “Tamamizu Monogatari”,  received a grant in the same year too (source; more info here). It doesn’t seem the results have been published yet. I will keep you updated if that changes, obviously. I am actually surprised I didn’t notice the Tamamizu phenomenon back then, even though 2019 Antonia was distinctly more terminally online than 2023 Antonia is. It’s worth noting that Tamamizu’s fame didn’t fade away. The online following the story gained was referenced in an Asahi Shimbun article a year later. A quick survey of social media will show you there are people still talking about Tamamizu today. People who aren’t me, that is. What made Tamamizu so unexpectedly popular - arguably more than the story has been in the past few centuries - in recent years? Most of the linked sources relatively neutrally state that people perceive it as a “unique love story”. Social media posts are often considerably more direct: for many people, the appeal lies in the realization the Tale of Tamamizu is probably the closest to a lesbian love story in the entire corpus of medieval Japanese literature. I won’t deny this is in no small part its appeal for me too. Note this is not an universal sentiment by any means, though. It is difficult to tell if this was the intent of the medieval author(s), of course. It is obviously impossible to deny that women attracted to women existed in medieval Japan, as is the case in every society since the dawn of history. However, they left little, if any, trace in textual sources. As pointed out by Bernard Faure, in Japan in the past as in many other historical societies “sexuality without men is properly unthinkable” and therefore received no coverage. While there is plenty of Japanese Buddhist literature dealing with male homosexuality (trust me though, you do not want to read it; I’ve included a brief explanation why in the bibliography), there is basically nothing when it comes to women. The only possible exception is what some authors argue might be a medieval depiction of a lesbian couple in Tengu Zōshi, a work I plan to discuss in more detail next month, but note that this would be only an example of condemnation, since this work is a religious polemic dealing with vices of the clergy. 

The supposed lesbian couple from Tengu Zōshi; image from Haruko Wakayabashi's The Seven Tengu Scrolls: Evil and the Rhetoric of Legitimacy in Medieval Japanese Buddhism; reproduced here for educational purposes only.

This sort of absence of evidence is a recurring pattern through history - you might recall my own attempts to find out what Bronze Age Mesopotamian sources have to say on this matter. Before the Meiji period, when the term dōseiai (同性愛) was coined as a calque of Charles Gilbert Chaddok’s freshly invented label “homosexual”, there wasn’t even a distinct Japanese term which could be applied to lesbian relationships. Once again, this does not indicate this phenomenon did not exist - but it does indicate that due to extreme levels of sexism in the perception of both sexuality and relationships it was difficult to even imagine for the average author. Faure suggests the prevailing attitude was presumably similar as in continental Buddhism, in which lesbian love “was at best perceived as a poor imitation of heterosexual relations—or a preparation for them—and as such condemned” at least in monastic rules. To put it bluntly, only penetrative sex was regarded as real.

And yet, in spite of this, I do not think it is wrong to wonder if perhaps what seems like subtext to a modern reader is actually intentional. This is obviously a reach, but given that relationships between women - not even romantic ones - were historically not a major concern of most authors, I would argue it is not impossible that a work which revolves virtually entirely around the relationships between female characters was written by a woman. Perhaps a woman romantically interested in other women, even. Even more boldly, I’d ponder if perhaps the ambiguous gender of the fox before transformation was meant to make the romance palatable to general audiences. Note that while foxes transforming is a mainstay of both Japanese and Chinese literature, the change of gender is actually quite uncommon in such stories, making this single reference all the more unusual. Granted, gender change is hardly a major focus in the story of Tamamizu. The only real indication the fox is male is the decision to take a male human form at first, but beyond that, things get muddy to the point the matter of gender in the story evidently warranted an actual study, as I pointed out earlier. As you’ve noticed, this matter was approached in different ways by translators too. I personally think the most important factor is the fact Tamamizu refers to herself with this name in the final poem. This name is intimately tied to the distinctly female identity she took. Whoever she was in the beginning, by the end of the story she is clearly Tamamizu. If one felt particularly bold a case perhaps even be made that Tamamizu can be read as a trans woman based on this, perhaps. I think simply disregarding the brief reference to a male form is valid too, though. Even if these arguments were to be refuted fully, I would argue that there is a further reason why at the very least reinterpreting the story as dealing with a gay relationship is not against the spirit of the original work. As I outlined, the tale of Tamamizu seems to draw inspiration from a very specific genre of fox stories, in which foxes are essentially a metaphor for people seeking relationships which were frowned upon. Obviously, the fact that Tamamizu is not a human by default makes any relationship she would be involved in somewhat unusual and frowned upon, but that does not assign a different metaphorical meaning to her struggle. Is Tamamizu even really fully a fox and not a human at all by the time she writes the confession of her love, though? The old fox seems to basically dispute if she still thinks like an animal. We also know that she maintained her human form for so long her biological relatives assumed she had passed away. She also found acceptance of virtually every single human character in the story - save for herself, that is. It’s also not like it’s hard to reinterpret her struggle specifically with the inability to consummate the relationship through the lens of the medieval Buddhist views of female sexuality, rather than through the lens of the general view that relationships between human and transformed foxes were doomed to failure. To paraphrase Cynthia Eller’s evergreen quote about futile search for nonexistent matriarchal prehistory in ancient texts, I do not think an invented wlw past can give anyone a future, but at the same time I do not think it means we should conclude that nobody ever had similar experiences in the past, or that we can relate with works even in ways their authors did not intend. For this reason, I would ultimately argue in favor of embracing the Tale of Tamamizu as a narrative which can be read as a lesbian love story.

Bibliography

Bernard Faure, The Red Thread. Buddhist Approaches to Sexuality (please note: read this book very cautiously since multiple content warnings apply. Faure is a remarkably progressive author, so it’s not about his personal attitude or anything. The problem is that it is not possible to deny much of the Japanese Buddhist discourse about homosexuality had little to do with modern notion of gay relationships, and essentially amounts to explaining when exploitation of children is a pious act)

Rania Huntington, Alien Kind. Foxes and Late Imperial Chinese Narrative (some sort of explicit content warning applies here too, though mostly because some of the discussed works are trashy Qing period erotica. More funny than anything.)

Xiaofei Kang, The Cult of the Fox: Power, Gender, and Popular Religion in Late Imperial and Modern China

Keller Kimbrough and Haruo Shirane (eds.), Monsters, Animals, and Other Worlds. A Collection of Short Medieval Japanese Tales

Jacqueline Stone, Medieval Tendai hongaku thought and the new Kamakura Buddhism: A reconsideration

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Not What Was Expected

Next chapter for this little cute story. I know Rafael might seem a little out of character for this but I would argue that we haven't seen how he would treat someone he was interested in who also showed that interested back so....

Warnings: None. Just once again my attempt at flirtation. Hints towards something spicer.

Masterlist

Prompt List

One , Two , Four , Five , Six , Seven , Eight, Nine , Ten

You were standing at the meeting point in the park waiting for Rafael, one of your light scarves wrapped around your neck to help keep you warm. The weather still hadn’t completely turned but the sun was hidden behind some clouds, and a small breeze was rustling through the trees, bringing with it the promised chill that makes itself known during the night. You had chosen comfort for the day but you had still strived to style your choices. You picked a pair of leggings that hugged your legs rather nicely, and you had paired it with a simple shirt that was slightly oversized with the front tucked in and the back hanging loosely. Over the top you wore a light coat that cinched a little around your waist before flaring slightly. Topped off with a pair of black joggers and your scarf you thought you looked rather cute. You had braided your hair to stop it from blowing in the breeze not wanting it to impede your view of Rafael.

You glanced down at your phone checking the time, it was 12:10, Rafael had messaged letting you know that he was going to be a little late. It was a quick message, and none had come since but you weren’t concerned, knowing the work he did and that even though it was the weekend Rafael would still be busy. You rocked back and forth a little on your heels as you admired the gorgeous view of the trees and the colour their leaves were changing to. It was stunning.

“I am so sorry,” a voice huffed behind you. You turned to see Rafael, his cheeks flushed red as he took deep breaths.

“Rafael,” you smiled. “It’s fine, you aren’t that late and besides you let me know that it was a possibility. Though I must say I am rather…pleased that you were willing to run here.”

Rafael took one last breath as it started to normalise, a chuckle interrupting it at the coy way you spoke. He ran his eyes over your form, taking in your slightly red nose and the few strands of hair that were falling out of your braid. He had hoped that he hadn’t underdressed with his workout gear on with a scarf, although it was going to only be a walk he wanted to be comfortable for it and he was glad to see that you had done the same. Of course he thought you pulled it off better than he did but he maybe becoming a little biased when it came to you. He still found your red nose adorable.

“Well, you are definitely worth running to, Miss Librarian,” he grinned, enjoying the way your cheeks flushed red. He had noticed last night that you did so rather easily, along with how your eyes would skirt away from his when you got shy. “And you look lovely today.”

“Thank you,” you said softly reaching up to brush away a stray strand from your face. “Um, this is my favourite walk in the park.”

“I can see why, it is rather beautiful,” Rafael nodded at the trees as the two of you set off down the path. You both walked close together, shoulders brushing every now and then.

“One of the reasons I love this weather. Spring has beautiful colours of course but there is something about the colours in autumn,” you agreed. “Plus I enjoy being cozy, and that is difficult to do in summer with the heat.”

“Cozy?” Rafael asked.

“Yes, you know bundled up with a blanket, a good book and a cup of tea or a glass of wine, while it’s raining outside,” you nodded. “Wearing thick scarves and coats, drinking hot chocolate after a relaxing walk. Cozy.”

“That does sound rather nice I’ll admit,” Rafael agreed as his hand brushed yours again. He was tempted to take hold of it but didn’t know if you would accept that just yet.

“Hm,” you hummed a little glancing down at his hand that was very close to yours, the backs brushing when your shoulders did. You worried your bottom lip as you looked up at his profile. His strong nose and jawline catching your attention, he was breath taking. You reached your hand out a little, letting your fingers brush against his to test the waters before taking hold of his hand. “Is this okay?”

“One little change I think,” Rafael whispered as he changed the grip you had made intertwining your fingers. “Much better.”

A slight breeze carried a few leaves to float down around the two of you as you walked across the little bridge. It had been silent for a few moments but like at the restaurant not an awkward one. It was comfortable, as you lightly swung your joint hands between you. Rafael found the action adorable his eyes taking the chance to trace over your face as you watched the leaves flutter down onto the water.

“Were you in the office this morning?” you asked curious.

“Yes unfortunately,” Rafael grumbled. “Apparently the detectives got busy last night, I had yet more warrants to get for them as well as trial prep for a previous case.”

“Very busy morning for you,” you said. “I do hope that this doesn’t put you behind on anything.” You didn’t want to cause Rafael any stress in regards to how much work he had to do.

“Not at all, in fact it is a welcome reason to leave my office,” Rafael waved away your concern. “Besides, Liv has been rather good at keeping things off my desk unless necessary.”

“Oh?” you were a little confused. “How so?”

“Normally, my night would have been interrupted by what the detectives did last night but Liv knew I was at dinner with you and made sure we weren’t disturbed,” Rafael smiled.

“That was rather kind of her,” you said. “Please tell her thanks from me? I’m rather grateful that our night wasn’t interrupted.”

“I will pass that on,” Rafael nodded. “Of course she will be smug about it all.”

“You know from what you have told me about Liv, I already like her,” you grinned.

“Yes, I am rather dreading when the two of you meet,” Rafael sighed. “She teases me relentlessly and you have already shown you seem inclined to do that as well.”

“Mr Lawyer, when I meet her?” you asked, Rafael realised how he phrased that comment. He debated correcting himself but he had never been one to do so, especially when he meant something.

“Yes when,” he said again. “If of course you want to, eventually.”

“Well, I would love that,” you said. “I’ve already said I like her, and besides I can’t wait to hear what stories she has about you.”

“I am already regretting this,” Rafael groaned hanging his head as you laughed at his response.

“Too late to take it back now, I’m afraid,” you tapped him on the arm. He grabbed hold of those fingers in a teasing grip, the two of you had stopped walking standing to the edge of the path, hands still intwined. He lifted the fingers he had grabbed teasingly up to his mouth and pressing his lips to them softly, your mouth parted in a small ‘o’ shape, cheeks turning a red to match your nose.

“I must admit to once again being wrong,” Rafael stated, eyes roving over your face. “This weather is rather good for a nice walk through the park.”

“Oh? What made you change your mind?” you asked, a little confused by the change in topic but your mind was still reeling from the kiss he placed on the tips of your fingers. “You said you preferred the summer?”

“Oh I still do,” Rafael nodded. “But how can I completely disagree when you look ravishing in this weather, it truly suits you.”

“You…I…” you stuttered unable to process a response. You had not been expecting that.

Rafael watched with a slightly guarded look, he was hoping that that hadn’t been too much. Rafael was not the kind of man who half hearted things, he always put his all into his cases and his personal life got the same treatment. He wanted to start things off right, he wanted to be honest especially in regards to how he felt and thought about you. He had always been that way, it sometimes worked for the best but other times it had backfired. If it was going to do that with you, he wanted it to backfire before he got too deep, before the budding feeling of attraction grew, which it was slowly doing every minute.

“I hope that wasn’t too much,” he whispered voice a little vulnerable. “I-”

“No it wasn’t!” you interrupted almost shouting. “I mean, I didn’t expect it. But it wasn’t too much, I’ve always rather liked the idea of someone who doesn’t shy away from expressing themselves and their thoughts.”

“Good, good,” Rafael smiled, he started to walk again lightly tugging on your joint hands. “Shall we continue?”

“Yes,” you nodded, your face still incredibly red as you walked beside him.

You caught him glancing at you a few times, his jaw a little tense as if he was clenching it. You squeezed his hand, offering him a sweet little smile hoping to put him at ease. At first you hadn’t been sure how to react to what he had said, people had commented on how pretty you are or beautiful but never had they said you looked ravishing, especially dressed in work out gear with your nose very red from the cold. But once what he said had actually sunk in, well, you became incredibly shy. It wasn’t a common occurrence but this man, this bloody man seemed to bring it out a lot. With his smiles and serious eyes when he says things, that coming from others would be said teasingly or even mockingly but him, him they were said with such a serious tone and the look in his eyes when he said them, you couldn’t take them any other way. And that intensity made you shy.

“How was your morning?” Rafael asked, hoping to bring you back out of the shell you seemed to disappear into. He thought it was endearing, how you could become shy from things he would say or do.

“It was good, didn’t do much honestly,” you started. “I finished the latest book I was on and picked the next one out of my jar.”

“Your jar?” Rafael asked, curiosity peaked.

“Oh yes, I have a lot of books, both physical and on kindle as I love buying books as much as I love reading them,” you explained. “And so it’s sometimes a little tricky to pick which book to read next so, I have two jars, one full the names of the unread physical books I own and one for my kindle, since I read that at work or if I decide to commute instead of drive.”

“That is a genius idea,” Rafael said. “What book did you just finish? Was it a physical one or one on your kindle?”

“It was a physical one, it was the last book in a series, the Ember Quartet by Sabaa Tahir, a rather good one actually,” you said, voice getting excited. “There was a few things I didn’t see coming and I was very happy with the ending.  It was rather poetic in a way I suppose. It has a roman inspired world, with a fascinating magic system and some really good character development!”

You gestured with your hands as you talked, the one still linked with Rafael’s hand bringing his with it. Rafael continued watching as you gushed about the book series, managing to talk about it without giving away any spoilers but still painting the world quite vividly. That light that he saw in your eyes last night when you discussed the importance of reading was back, and he never wanted it to leave. He loved listening to people talk about things they loved, they would always get so animated and he was a little chuffed that you hadn’t let go of his hand. He was content to have his hand moved about in yours as you gestured.

“And it is best not to get attached to any of the characters,” you finished, looking over at Rafael. The look on his face was similar to the one he had last night when you had stopped yourself from rambling. It was soft. Gentle. And almost adoring. He had a small smile on his face.

“That series does sound very good,” Rafael smiled. “I’m a little curious now, do you know if there is an audible version of it?”

“Oh, um, I’m not sure but I can definitely find out for you,” you grinned.

“Thank you,” Rafael’s smile changed to a cheeky one. “Though I wouldn’t say no to you reading it too me.”

“Oh, you don’t want that,” you laughed. “I’d stop all the time to gush about something or another.”

“Commentary as well? Even better!” Rafael cheered, bringing your joint hands up to his lips to place a kiss on the back of it without a second thought. You were thinking that you would need to get use to the easy affection.

“I suppose I could be convinced then,” you teased. “With some…how do you fancy lawyers say it? Conditions and consideration? Is it?”

“Consideration?” he asked, eyebrow raised.

“Yes, I do believe that is something that comes up in contracts isn’t it?” you replied, for a moment unsure that you had remembered correctly. “I do something, for something in return? Like I buy something for money? Or am I wrong?”

“No, not all,” Rafael smiled. “So, tell me, what conditions?”

“I pay for the drinks we’ll be getting in a moment,” you nodded towards the little coffee stand as the two of you came to stop just before it. “And, if you truly want me to read them to you…you’ll come to my apartment for it?”

“I can agree with those two conditions but so far I am only seeing benefits for me,” Rafael nodded.

“Oh don’t worry I was getting there,” you grinned. “You said that your mum made sure you could cook. Before I read, you cook me dinner?”

“Each time?” Rafael asked for confirmation.

“Of course, each time,” you agreed.

“A standing date then,” Rafael finalised. “Shall we try and do it every week?”

“Agreed, Mr Barba,” you hesitated for a split second before deciding it was your time to try and fluster Rafael. You leaned close, shifting your gaze from his right eye, to his left and back again before you lightly pressed your lips to his cheek. As you leaned back you noticed a slight red tinge to his cheeks. Inside you did a little dance happy that for once it appeared he didn’t know what to say. “What’s this Mr Lawyer? Have I finally made you lost for words?”

You unlinked you hand from his to put your arms around his shoulders, moving even closer to him, almost touching him entirely. You bit your lip, a little nervous that you had maybe stepped over a line until his hands found their home on your hips and you saw his eyes darken a little as they flicked down your lips before back up to yours.

“Only momentarily, chica,” Rafael hummed. “Would it be alright if I kissed you? I have been thinking about it since we met.”

“Well, this is the second date,” you jokingly pondered. “And you have been the utmost gentleman…minus some teasing here and there…yes, I do believe you may kiss me.”

“Cheeky,” Rafael tsked.

He tugged you fully against him grinning at your soft exhale at the movement. Your arms linked behind his head as he lowered his lips to yours. You weren’t one to really believe in that sparks with the first kiss trope that your read in your romance books, though you liked to think it was possible. And feeling Rafael gently press his lips against yours again and again before increasing the pressure moving them against yours, you almost believed it. The two of you broke apart, keeping in mind that you were in a public place, Rafael lightly kissed your nose before taking a step back but not letting you go.

“I’ll take all the cheek for kisses like that,” he smirked, watching as you nibbled on your lip, swiping your tongue over your lips. “Keep doing that and I’ll be tempted to kiss you again.”

“An error to tell me that,” you laughed. “I’ll know how to get more kisses from you in the future.”

“Maybe that was my plan all along,” Rafael pointed out.

“Whatever you say,” you laughed removing your arms from around his neck and taking his hand again. “Shall we get a warm drink?” you tugged him towards the stand.

“Hmm, I’d rather more kisses but I will take the drink,” Rafael grumbled letting you pull him along grinning when you turned around to wink at him.

“Trust me to order again?” you asked just before you got to the front.

“I believe so,” Rafael nodded, he privately thought that he may start to trust you with anything.

“Could I get two large hot chocolates please, with some mint?” you asked the vendor.

“Right away, love,” he smiled. “Glad I didn’t start making it with hazelnut this time.”

“Well, it’s not often you have mint,” you cheeked, handing over some money for the drinks. Rafael waited bedside you, enjoying learning something about you, you turned to him with a smile. “Trust me, you’re going to love this.”

“Hm, I think so,” Rafael answered so softly. You sent him a quizzical look, not quite understanding why he responded in such a way but before you could ask the vendor was handing over your two drinks. You both got out of the way of the people behind you, you took a sip enjoying the minty chocolate warming you up. You watched Rafael take a sip, bouncing a little waiting for his response.

“You definitely weren’t lying chica,” Rafael licked his lips savouring the taste. “I take it you are regular here?”

“Oh yes, whenever I go for my walks I tend to come here for a hot drink before I continue on,” you said. “There are some chairs just over there, if the weather is nice I will stay for a little while and read.”

“I hope you don’t mind if we continue walking while we drink?” Rafael asked.

“Not a bit,” you smiled holding out your hand wiggling your fingers. “But only if we hold hands.”

“Twist my arm,” Rafael muttered lacing his fingers with yours again as the two of you continued your walk. You grinned leading the way to the loop that led back to where you had started. The rest of the walk flew by in easy conversation just like the night before. The both of you wanted to drag the date on but Rafael admitted that he should get back to work, at least for a little while longer and you knew that you had to get some more things done before you started work tomorrow.

“So,” you started. “This was…fantastic.”

“I’m inclined to agree,” Rafael said his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. “Full disclosure, I may be a bit busy in the next coming week the current case seems to be picking up and I start a trial in three days. But I would like to see you, even briefly when we can arrange it.”

“I would as well,” you nodded leaning a little into his hand, moving just enough to place a kiss on his palm. “I’m more than happy to work around your schedule, as mine is pretty standard not often that I am needed outside my shifts. Plus my lunch hour can be whenever, for the most part.”

“Perhaps we could meet for coffee and/or lunch in a few days?” Rafael asked, taking a step closer.

“Sounds good,” you agreed eyes shifting between his and his lips, wanting to try out the triangle trick. You grinned a little at the response it seemed to elicit from the man as he leaned down to hover over your lips.

“Teasing woman,” he growled lowly just before he pressed his lips to yours again this time he pulled away quicker but not before gently biting at your lower lip. You struggled to hold in the whine at that, following after him a little. “Good thing I rather like that.”

“Good…” you whispered, voice a little breathy before you tried to focus. “Lunch? A few days?” Rafael smirked gently at your short questions, he had heard the start of the whine before you stopped it when he pulled away from your lips and it created a need, a want to hear what noises you would make for him. He forced that heat down, he wanted to go slow with you to build up the desire and tension between the two of you.

“We’ll aim for two days from now. I’ll message you a time and place, once I know for certain,” Rafael answered voice equally soft.

“I can’t wait,” you grinned. “But don’t worry if work gets busy…I could always drop by with some take out. If you want of course.”

“You’d be willing to do that if I have to cancel?” Rafael asked. The few times he had dated in the past none of them had offered to alter the plans to fit into the hectic work hours of his job. And the times he had suggested it some of them did it, though they weren’t necessarily with how many times they had to do it. The rest would refuse, claiming it wasn’t a true date.

“Of course, I enjoy spending time with you and I would like to whenever and however possible,” you nodded, darting in to kiss his cheek again. “So long as it doesn’t interfere with your work.”

“If I can’t make the lunch date I would love for you to drop by the office,” Rafael took your hand to place a kiss on your knuckles. “Message me when you get home?”

“Hmm, sure,” you said face soft and open as you squeezed his hand before letting it go. “I’ll see you in two days, Rafael.”

Rafael was still smiling after you parted ways, the two of you both looked back once or twice until you were out of sight. He was already excited for lunch, and a little part of him wanted it to be at his office so you could see him in his element. If he worked in a different area he would eventually invite you to watch him in court but there was no way he would ever want you to watch one of his trials. He wouldn’t lie about the fact that he is a proud man, and definitely a little arrogant in his regards to his work and the thought of being able to show that off to you, well, it pleased some buried part of himself. He was busy planning what suit he would wear that day wanting to impress you with it. He returned to the office, hoping that if he got a lot done today nothing would interfere with the lunch plans.

The two of you both thought that the next two days couldn’t go quick enough.

[guardian-of-time-if]

Final Days with MC Snippet: Gaderous

So it's been a hot minute since I posted the rest of these snippets, but this one was giving me trouble. Gat is one of the harder characters for me to write, and I struggled with this scenario. His will be the last one in the set (sorry Sentinel) because I cannot think of a scene with Sentinel that would fit the prompt as he also has a long lifespan.

An unusually warm autumn breeze swept through the air, brushing against Gat’s cheek. He sucks in the warm air from his spot against the towering oak tree. The weather was perfect for a nice quiet picnic, something so familiar it took little effort to get right at this point. 

He twists a flower between his fingers. If she was any later, he would keep them. He smiles to himself at the thought before setting it back in the place he arranged for it. His smile drops when he notices the flower seems out of place, and leans forward to adjust it again. He shouldn’t have picked it up even if he was bored. Now, he’s never going to get it back in it’s proper place.

“It’s just a flower Gaderous,” a voice calls out, grabbing his attention. “You’re not performing emergency surgery in the middle of a battlefield.”

Gat smiles, rising to greet his lover. “Unlike the healers you’re used to, beautiful, I give every patient my undivided attention, however insignificant they might seem to the rest of the world.”

“Is that why you pay so much attention to me?”

“You are not one of my patients,” he says, as they sit down. “You have my undivided attention because you are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen walk the face of Tarken.”

She laughs. “Have you been reading poetry again, or are you trying to get me to agree to something you know I don’t want to do?”

“Oh, I definitely want something, but I’d bet money, its something you want to.”

She gives him the side eye. “This I’ve got to hear.”

Instead of answering, he reaches over and pulls her into his lap. 

“Gaderous!” She yelps, and he responds by kissing her ear.

“I was hoping for a kiss, but we can eat first since I made the effort.”

“Considering you made the effort because it’s my birthday, I think I get to decide what we do after we eat.”

“It’s your birthday?” He asks, earning himself a brief smack on the chest with no force behind it. 

“You know it is. After this many years you better know.”

“Or maybe I’m just getting old enough to not remember anything.”

She rolls her eyes, and reaches for some of the fruit, but doesn’t move out of his lap. As they eat, Gat tries to keep a perfect balance in the atmosphere between lighthearted banter, reminiscing, and flirting.

“What’s wrong?” She asks after Gat finishes a joke.

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re trying too hard. When you’re trying not to think about things, you occupy your mind with other things like the exact position of flowers.”

“What if I just really want to impress you?”

She rolls her eyes. “We’ve been together for decades at this point. You don’t need to impress me with a date.”

“We could be together for ten thousand years, and I would still spend every day of my life trying to impress you.”

“Gaderous,” she pleads, drawing out his name.

He sighs. “Fine. How long are we going to pretend this is normal?”

“What are we pretending is normal?”

“We celebrate your birthday every year as if it actually matters. You’re not actually getting older.”

“You want to stop celebrating my birthday?” She asks, drawing her eyebrows together.

“No. I-” He gently moves her off his lap. “You’re aging, and I’m not. I didn’t realize how weird it was going to be until we got here.”

“I-”

“Someone actually asked me the other day if you were my daughter.”

Her eyes double in size, and she coughs. “Daughter?!’

He nods. “We have now gotten to the point where I look old enough to be your dad. That’s weird, or at least it feels weird. Even outside of the appearance thing, I’m starting to notice that my mind is slipping. I made a joke about forgetting your birthday earlier, but I have been forgetting things more lately, and I’m not getting around as easily as I used to.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that?” She asks, cupping his cheek.

“I didn’t want you to worry, but it has made me wonder, if you wouldn’t be happier without me.”

“Don’t say that,” she chides. “We’re in this together.”

“Before you helped me escape the cult, a lot of our members asked me to check on their elderly family members. Those visits were always rough. People becoming fragments of who they once were. I don’t want you to remember me that way.”

“Gat,” she breathes out his name.

“It would be one thing, if it was reciprocal, and we were both aging together, but it’s just me. I can’t do that to you.”

“Shouldn’t I get to decide that?” She asks, brushing her fingers through his hair.

“Obviously what you want matters, but even if you are willing to, I don’t want you to stay and watch me deteriorate.”

“Gaderous, look at me,” she orders. “Do not push me away from you because you’re afraid of getting old.”

“I’m not afraid of getting old. I’m afraid of losing myself. That aging will change who I am enough that I won’t be me anymore.” He leans his head into the crook of her neck. “I didn’t want to do this to you today.”

“Don’t worry about that,” she assures. “I’d rather know what’s troubling you.”

“I’d rather go back to trying my hardest not to think about it, if it's all the same to you.”

[rate-every-bat]

If you haven't done it already, you should rate the Hoary Bat 💞 They're my favourite and I would love to see your opinion on them

Absolutely, let's do it!

Today's Bat: Hoary Bat

The Hoary Bat has always put me in mind of a little powdered donut. There's an abandoned mining cave that's been turned into a museum and nature preserve in my area, and bat spotters frequently find these frosted babies hanging out there during the summer. I'd really love to spot one in person, but for now, I'll settle for this precious picture:

Environmental Impact: The Hoary Bat has an incredibly wide habitat range across North and Central America, even reaching as far as Hawaii. With such a wide range, it's no surprise that they've split into several subspecies (which is so, so cool). They migrate from north to south in the autumn, or hibernate for short bursts using a "butt blanket" and torpor state to withstand cooler temperatures. Interestingly, they predate several pest species, but have a relatively restricted diet compared to other North American insectivorous bats. These guys also catch rabies fairly frequently, which is another hit to their score here.

🦇🦇🦇/5

Beauty: Oh, these guys are angels. Their wide faces and perfectly round eyes make them look like Precious Moments dolls with wings. Their coats, multi-colored with a delicate white frost, are the peak of winter fashion. I can't think of a single thing that would make these guys more appealing... top marks!

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇/5

Power: Hoary Bats are largely solitary throughout the year. Upon mating in the autumn, the female retains sperm in her reproductive tract. She'll reserve it all winter, and come spring, she will fertilize her eggs and give birth by early summer. Delayed fertilization allows them to choose whether or not conditions are right to rear young, and controls for their generally lonesome nature. I first learned about this ability with bears, and I continue to find it fascinating. I will have to deduct points from the Power score, however, for their decidedly anti-clean-power stance: their leading cause of mortality is striking wind turbines.

🦇🦇🦇/5

Overall: This upcoming summer, hit your local mine. Maybe you'll find a Hoary Bat... or me, with a camera.

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇/5

(Today's sources: Animal Diversity Web, Bat Conservation International)

(PS: I couldn't find a convenient spot to mention this, but the Hawaiian Hoary bat is actually endangered. They're the only remaining native land mammal in Hawaii according to the National Parks Service. BCI lists some conservational efforts, which I'd recommend reading up on and advocating for if you're able. Thank you!)

[c-m-stuff]

Trick Or Treat

Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

-Description: You and Spencer are married. You two have a beautiful son, who you are trick or treating with.

-Warnings: Fluffiness, having a child

-Word count: 825

-Note: (Repost from Wattpad) Hey guys, I'm finally back. A lot has happened at the time I was gone, and I couldn't find the motivation to write. But, I'm happily back. This story is in honor of the most spooky season. Enjoy this Halloween story!

Masterlist

Y/N POV:

It was spooky season. The season with beautiful, orange leaves, falling from the trees, the season when pumpkins are indispensable and horror movies are more popular than ever. Yes, it was autumn. It also happened to be my husband's favorite season and holiday.

We all got our Halloween costumes. Spencer went as Doctor Who, while (Y/S/N) was going as Spiderman. This year, I went for a simple, but stunning, black cat. My whole outfit was black, as the fabric was hugging my figure. I got cat ears and wore black

make-up with high heels.

I was just finishing my hair, as I felt a person staring at me. Turning around, I saw the genius watching in awe.

'You look stunning.' a smile appeared on my face, while he was walking closer.

His lips were quick in finding mine, moving sincerely as two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly. His hands found their home on my waist, gently brushing over the fabric. Before things got too headed, I pulled away.

'As much as I love this, we need to go trick or treating.' I reminded him, as his brain finally caught up with my words.

'Alright, but we're going to finish this later.' he teased, and I pressed a quick kiss on his lips.

'If you say so.' smirking, I turned around, making my way towards our son's room. Spencer following behind me.

Carefully, I pushed the door further open, seeing (Y/S/N) playing with his Lego. He looked up once he noticed our presence, as a smile was painted on his little face.

'Are you ready for trick or treating?' I asked, excitedly, as he got up and ran towards us.

'Yesss!'

'Alright, let's go.'

__________________________

Only moments later, we arrived at the first house. The front yard was decorated amazing with all kind of Halloween stuff. We saw (Y/S/N) struggling to reach the bell, his little body too small. Spencer happily lifted him up, so he was now able to ring the doorbell.

'Ready?' my husband asked our son, while placing him gently back on the ground. He nodded, and waited patiently for the door to open.

'Trick or treat!' we all exclaimed, making our neighbor laugh.

'That is definitely a scary costume, (Y/S/N). I think, I better give candy real quick.' she played along, making Spencer and I both smile at the excitement of our son.

She placed a few candies into the little Halloween bucket, (Y/S/N) was holding. He jumped, enthusiastic, a spark in his eyes. It was the most sweetest thing ever.

We thanked our neighbor, before walking further. This went on for a while. Going from door to door, everytime receiving candy. Eventually, the sun began to disappear behind the clouds, slowly getting more darker. All the excitement and activities took a toll on (Y/S/N). He was walking more slowly, tiredness visibly on his face.

I picked him up, as he let his head rest on my shoulder. I gave a kiss on it, watching him in awe. Spencer was doing the same thing, his eyes fixated on our beautiful son. We locked eyes for a moment, telling in our own way to get back home.

__________________________

Satisfied, we unlocked the front door, happily by the turn of the evening. I placed our already asleep son in his bed, giving him a goodnight kiss, while tugging him in. I let a tiny lamp shine, as I quietly made my way back towards the living room.

'I think, he has enough candy for a whole year.' Spencer joked, pointing at the full bucket.

'Yeah, it was definitely a great evening. The joy on his face, I'll never forget it.'

'It really was amazing to witness.'

I walked closer to him, pressing my chest against his. He wrapped his arms protectively around my waist, placing a kiss on my head.

'I love you.' he whispered, while he pressed me even further into the embrace.

'I love you, handsome.'

After a few more moments of comfortable silence, he slightly pulled away. A spark appeared in his eyes, as he got visibly excited.

'What do you think of a Halloween movie night, with lots of cuddles and food?'

'I would love to.' I told him, mirroring his smile.

Soon enough, we were lying on the couch, our bodies as close as possible, cuddling and eating, all that while watching one of Spencer's favorite Halloween movies.

Yes, this was the perfect Halloween.

_________________________

[wishcamper]

Nessian Week Day 5 - Behind Closed Doors

I meant to write a sexy, Casino Royale-esque poker scene but it somehow ended up as Cassian fangirling over his wife for 3k words so uh. Here you go.

Read here or on ao3!

High Stakes

A/N: This prompt really made me want to play with the idea of layers of intimacy in long-term relationships because a) I don’t think we have enough representations of healthy, fulfilling, functional monogamy and b) I‘ve always thought there was beautiful potential for Nessian to know and understand each other to the point where they can see all the layers of the other person, and be able to hold space for the other’s complexity. I’d just really like to believe that’s possible. So I hope that comes across. 

I’m exploring some of these same ideas in ACOVAV, my ongoing ACOSF fix-it. Questions around the character’s experiences and my own, like: what does it look like to build tension in a story and depth in a relationship without miscommunication or people treating each other badly? What if it’s two people trying their best to get close while also wrestling with their own individual shit in very real, understandable ways? What exists at that intersection between me and us? Something interesting, I think.

If that interests you too, you can read that fic on ao3 :)

---

“Mr. Archeron.”

“Marlowe. How’s she looking tonight?”

Two males stood before the door of a long-vacant tavern, sweating slightly in the night air thick and lush as it only was in summer, Velaris bursting with vitality after dark. The cobblestone streets were full of revelers who passed by without a second glance, ignorant that beyond the hidden entrance lay a world where fortunes were won and lost, where the honor of courts rose and fell at the discretion of a female known only in whispers as the Queen of Cards.

A female who just happened to be Cassian’s wife.

“A strong start,” Marlowe said as he ushered Cassian into the candlelit basement, flickering shadows belying the bustling street above. “The High Lord from Autumn has cheek, though.” 

“Yeah, Eris gets like that when he’s losing.”

They shook hands and Cassian made his way down the dim hallway, the sounds of chatter and shuffling and clinking coins drifting toward him. He could hear Eris braying high above the others, Rhys’ smooth voice giving back just as good. When he reached the arched entrance to the playing room, everyone had their backs to him except Nesta, who glanced up from her three-card hand and smiled. 

She always faced the door during games, ready to protect her players’ privacy in case someone got past Marlowe, though it had the unintended effect of giving him a moment to take her in uninterrupted. Her gown was midnight blue tonight, long sleeves in tiers of iridescent silk like a dragonfly’s wings, hair cascading over one shoulder studded with opals that turned fiery in the faelights.

A glittering queen holding court. And damn if Cassian didn’t want to go to his knees before her, still, after all this time.

“Can we get on with it or do I need to send you two to time out?” she asked the still-squabbling High Lords without missing a beat, tossing her cards in and signaling to the silver clad dealer to begin the next round before. She threw in her ante next, silver bracelets chiming at her wrist with the movement.

With some grumblings the players turned to their hands, and Cassian edged along the wall to where Emerie sat at a high table on her own, grazing on the arrayed refreshments and accounting her winnings in a worn ledger. 

“I was up and didn’t want to push my luck,” the female whispered when he nodded in greeting, giving him a sly smile. Cassian smiled back - Emerie always came out on top. He suspected Nesta was subtly losing to her friend on purpose after the female refused to let her fund an expansion of her shop. And he suspected Emerie knew it, too, but both were too proud to say it aloud. She licked the tip of her pencil and made another note. “Plus, it’s fun to watch your mate knock a few High Lords down a peg.”

“Sometimes I wonder if that’s the real game,” he confessed, and Emerie grinned smugly, wings ruffling with delight.

They observed the game in silence for a moment, allowing Cassian time to survey the other players in attendance tonight. There was an endless rotating cast of characters at Nesta’s now-famous monthly games, the invitation so coveted they’d had all manner of bribes delivered to the House of Wind by very confused messengers. Thankfully all gifts were now rerouted to a third-party location, after a lesser lord of Summer sent a dozen peacocks they’d chased about the House for hours.

There were seven of them tonight as usual, including Emerie, all faces he recognized buried in their cards around the half-moon table. Granted, it helped that nearly half the players were his wife, her best friend, and Rhys, whose pile of coin looked so pitifully low Cassian couldn’t help but smirk when he caught his brother’s eye.

“We should raise the blind,” Rhys interjected. “What's the point of playing if you’re eschewing risk?”

It still surprised Cassian sometimes that Rhys kept coming back despite showing no taste for gambling in the past. But he supposed Rhys had always been weirdly competitive with Nesta, and even though they’d buried the hatchet long ago Nesta still loved winning her brother-in-law’s money fair and square. Which she did without fail, hand over fist, with a silent pact between them not to tell Feyre.

Neither of her sisters knew, by design he suspected, and Mor was off in Montesere ‘finding herself’ again, whatever that meant. Azriel had a brief, brilliant run before his competitiveness got the best of him and he was banned for brawling at the table, one of the only standing rules. Emerie and Eris were regulars, and he’d seen the others in attendance before: broad-shouldered Megrin Stonecutter of the Velaris maester’s guild and Nuan of Dawn, who perched cross-legged in her chair, a pair of elaborate spectacles whirring on her round face

Opposite Nesta tonight sat the High Lord of Day, still radiant despite having foregone his usual golden adornments. Helion looked nonplussed by his own losing streak as Cassian watched him toss his cards face down in front of him, leaving only Rhys, Eris, and Nesta still alive in the hand.

“I fold. You all are vicious. Are you not joining us, Cass?”

“And add one more body to the slaughter? No thanks.” He’d never had much interest, content to watch Nesta splatter egos against the wall.

Megrin grunted in agreement and slid her cards to the dealer past the large pile of gold in the center. “I’m out, too. Clearly someone knows something I don’t.”

“It’s yours to call, Eris,” Rhys said breezily. “Unless you’re waiting to ask your father’s ghost for permission.”

Cassian snorted, making eye contact with Rhys again, who shot him a shit-eating grin as Eris covered his mouth with a stiff hand, brow furrowed. 

To everyone’s surprise, Beron Vanserra had been felled two years prior by an ordinary fever. No one in Autumn nor elsewhere could make sense of it - it was as if one day the hands of hel simply reached up and snatched him back into the earth. So a court that had once been destined for a bloody coup passed the crown peacefully, which was a good thing all around, though Rhys loved painting Eris as a cowardly dawdler whose target put himself in an early grave just to end the waiting.

The Autumn lord sneered at the insult, still waffling. “Some of us prefer to think about our actions, Rhysand, instead of barrelling forward with whatever scheme will inflate our self-importance the most. Stealing things from other courts, for example, books, brides -“

Nesta glanced over at Cassian then, crossing and uncrossing her fingers where they lay against her cheek, and he had to stifle the laugh that bubbled forth at the private joke, just for him. It was her signal that sexual tension was present in the room, sometimes to indicate she wanted to leave whatever function they were at, sometimes so they could share a roll of their eyes. In this case he knew she meant the squabbling lords, as many a late night they’d mused that Eris and Rhys could get past their rivalry if they just had sex about it. 

“As much as I enjoy seeing Rhysand’s self-importance punctured,” Nesta drawled when the latter opened his mouth to retort. “You can’t delay your bet with old, petty scores. We’re all rather bored with it. If you’re going to cheat, at least use some imagination.” 

She sipped at her glass of pomegranate juice, a frequent gift of affection from Helion and a nod to the other rule: no alcohol. 

Rhys’ expression flashed briefly with betrayal, but he schooled it quickly, knowing better than to give himself away. But Cassian knew Nesta’s smoky eyes clocked it before they turned to Eris. 

“I remember you once tempting me with an invitation to Autumn, to see how a High Lord plays. Is this what you had in mind?” She gestured to the modest pile of gold in front of him. “I rather think I made the right decision, don’t you?”

Emerie chuckled beside him, and Cassian felt a thrill low in his stomach to see Nesta so self-possessed, lit from within. After everything they’d been through with the Trove, with their families, a part of him wondered if he’d ever see her ferocity again, if the sharp point of that viper’s tongue would smooth over for good. 

She’d become very soft for about a decade after the Blood Rite, and they’d taken long walks through the Illyrian Steppes and the Myrmidons, swam in streams and lakes and the oceans of Summer, watched the bees drift lazily from flower to flower in Elain’s gardens in Day. It was as if she’d needed to come completely to rest before deciding what to do next. And the solitude seemed to give her a sense of clarity, but he’d been glad as fuck to be an exception to that rule, to witness the private puzzlings and support her in finding purpose in her life.

They’d only just returned to Velaris the previous spring, when the threads of family and duty pulled them home at last. Their time away was intimate and lovely, some of the best years of his life, yet Cassian enjoyed seeing Nesta confident out in the world again. The poker game had been the first of many things to draw her out, and he couldn’t wait to see what she’d surprise him with next, his strong, clever, deadly little wife.

Eris grumbled and tossed a few coins in the middle. “Happy now? Or would you prefer to seduce it out of me?”

Cassian watched her swallow the barb, which would’ve sent her into survival mode in the past and now rolled off her with barely a ripple. Leashed his own instincts to leap across the room and tackle Eris to the ground, because Nesta wouldn’t hesitate to kick him out for breaking the rules too, mate or no, and he’d miss his favorite show.

“Your luck doesn’t extend that far tonight,” she said demurely, and Cassian knew the smug prick was too stupid to see her coiling up to strike when the time was right. Nesta won the hand a moment later to groans all around, her Winter flush beating Rhys’ three pixies and Eris’ two pair, nymphs and kelpies.

“I propose a wager," Nesta declared as the next hand was dealt, her voice velvety and inviting. "The victor of the evening wins one favor of their choosing...” Eyes lit up around the table, anticipation deepening. “...from my husband.”

They all turned toward Cassian where he was leaning against the wall with an amused grin now, and he raised an eyebrow at his mate. Her eyes flashed silver where she stared back at him, and he felt her send a soothing wave down the bond, assuring him of her intent. Inviting him into the ruse. Cassian made a show of looking chagrined, shuffling his feet as he looked down.

Rhys was the first to respond, smirking. “I’ll take that bet.” 

Cassian knew he was incensed at the idea of losing, wrongly fancying himself more clever than his sister-in-law. Nesta knew it, too, and that arrogance made him play more recklessly.

“Count me out,” said Helion, winking. “You’re pretty, Cass, but my minister of finance will have my head if I lose any more.”

“Ah, why not?” Nuan flushed, uncomfortable with the attention now drawn her way, and chuckled nervously. “Not sure what use I’d have for you, dear, but who knows what worth it may hold!”

Megrin pursed her lips, sizing him up. “He has a strong enough back I suppose. I’ve been meaning to rearrange my forge.”

“Any favor of my choosing?” Eris mused, and Cassian felt the Autumn lord’s gaze roving over his body and then Nesta’s, possessive and hungry. The years hadn’t changed everything. Nesta answered with nothing but a feline smile.

The next few rounds passed in a blur of bluffs and bold plays. Nesta remained composed even on the hands she lost, an almost bored air to the way she watched the males bluster and crow. Eris' anger grew while Rhys shot daggers with his glare at her every win, turning each hand into an unnecessary battle of wills that made him play sloppy. Nuan ducked out when it became clear the prize wasn’t hers, and Megrin hung on for a while longer, bluffing her way through until her luck ran dry, to Cassian’s relief. 

One by one, Nesta outplayed them, her composure never faltering as she watched her opponents fume, each loss reigniting their fervor to win.

At last the players were down to the final hand, and the air in the hidden basement crackled with anticipation. The dealer laid down the community cards as bets went around: a wyvern, a lord, a lady, and a cave troll. Each still in signaled for new cards, Nesta tapping once against the table, her face revealing nothing. Cassian could feel his chest tighten as they sized each other up before Rhys pushed all his chips into the pot with a confident smirk.

"All in."

Unfazed, Nesta called his bet, gesturing idly at her pile for the dealer to sweep into the center with his crook. That left only Eris to decide his own fate, as well as Cassian’s.

He puzzled for a long while with his head in his hands before he finally spoke, low and deliberate. "I’ll call."

Coins cascaded into the center, a shower of gold. Then the final card was revealed—another lady. All coins in the center, it felt like everyone held their breath as the three remaining players revealed their hands. 

Rhys set down two lords, the grin spreading across his face triumphant and sure, the poor bastard. Eris only clucked his tongue and revealed his full house, ladies full of wyverns, smug despite achieving it on the last draw.

But Cassian knew it wasn’t over yet. He turned to where his wife was toying with the edge of her hand, and he’d seen that pose too many times not to recognize it at once: You Have Just Royally Fucked Yourself. Silver rolled over Nesta’s eyes, and with prim efficiency she laid down the three remaining trolls in the deck, one after another.

The room erupted, Eris upending his chair as he leapt to his feet, Rhys shouting about cheating and Helion tipping his head back to let loose a peal of laughter soon joined by Emerie and Nuan’s, by Megrin’s groan. Cassian couldn’t help the dopey grin that spread across his face, how at home Nesta looked in the sea of chaos when she winked at him, calmly piling her coins into neat stacks.

Once everyone had regained their heads they all passed a lovely hour in conversation, the air hazy from the cigarettes Nesta usually smoked with Lucien at their gossip sessions disguised as afternoon tea. Rhys departed first, claiming a return to his fatherly duties, though they all knew he was off to beg Feyre’s sympathies while he licked his wounds for reasons he’d never confess. Emerie left with a tight hug and a promise to have them up to Windhaven soon to see her new expansion, and Eris gave Nesta a begrudging bow before Helion swooped in and kissed her on the cheek. He did the same to Cassian, and they heard his warm voice echoing down the corridor, giving Eris shit all the way up the stairs.

Alone now, Cassian came up behind where Nesta was tucking a handful of coins in a pouch for Marlowe, looped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. She batted at him but he felt her lean backwards all the same, cracking the door to that soft place within, that only her loved ones were allowed to enter. He knew she liked the affection, even if part of her still hated to admit it, if she only wanted it when it was just them.

“Wicked woman,” he teased, and he felt her smile against his cheek, the press of her nails into his forearm. “Were you seriously going to let Eris have his way with me?”

Nesta turned in his arms and he took her in close up for the first time all day, having left her snoring softly that morning when he departed for Windhaven. He warmed to see her face still relaxed and open, the ease in her posture. 

“If he won, sure.”

Cassian snorted. “I don’t know if that’s a testament to your confidence or your willingness to torture me.”

The candlelight flickered silver around them for a moment and he drew her close once more, breathing deep the vanilla and jasmine scent of her hair, the lingering smokiness. Nesta linked her hands behind his back and squeezed him hard, impatient.

“Can’t it be both? Now take me home, Lady Death is tired.”

“Is that your favor for winning, sweetheart?”

“No,” she said, eyes dancing and devious when he pulled back. “I’ve much bigger plans for you.”

And oh, she did.

They ended the night in Cassian’s favorite way, with him sprawled atop her, head pillowed on her chest, her long fingers working through the snarls in his hair he’d earned in their pleasure. The House dimmed the lights in the bedchamber that was once his, the door now warded to both their hands. Hands that bore twin golden rings and tattoos of an eight-pointed star, tokens of their promises, both his and hers.

“Goodnight, I love you.”

Nesta’s voice was thick and fuzzy, and he felt a quiet contentment on her end of the bond. It was rare for her to inhabit it in public as much as she had tonight, and Cassian remembered when her end of the bridge between them had been locked tight, impenetrable. He’d made a fool of himself trying to break through early in their love, using brute force to smash past her defenses, leaving her exposed. 

But now he knew the secret that should’ve been obvious, that he only had to knock.

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

She smiled with her eyes closed and pursed her lips, kissing the air before sleep dragged her under.

[plscallmeeren]

V E N U S

Hermione Jean Granger x Luna Lovegood x Reader

Request: yes

Summary: you and Hermione study one night in Luna's part of the forest... there's flirting, teasing and well... one thing leads to another (see warnings)

Warnings: Swearing, pillow princess Luna, top Hermione, top reader, humping, scissoring, fingering, fondling, unedited

Word Count: 1.8K+

Leaves rustled at the caress of cool wind, falling to the ground in tribute to the changing seasons. Autumn had already tainted fields of them vibrant oranges and yellows, occasional red specks blossoming on the horizon.

Hagrid's hut cast long shadows across the fields, pumpkins ripe and enormous. Hermione shivered beside you, pulling her jacket closer. You offered your own, but she wouldn't let you freeze in her stead.

The two of you passed the dark lake, and by the time you had reached edge of the forest nearly the same blackness had hastily descended upon the sky. You pointed out Orion. She thought of Sirius, and you were silent once more.

"This is as good a spot as any," she announced some steps amidst the looming trees.

You nodded. "It's so quiet. I think I could almost get sick of the constant throng in that castle." You smiled at each other. She knew you didn't mean it. After all...

"You're just as much a diligent student as me. Neither of us would ever leave Hogwarts if we could choose."

"True. It's amazing, really, how pretty you are for a nerd."

"Oh, come off it." She chuckled, sitting down before a thick pine. You sat cross-legged, leaning back against an opposite hazel.

"Fine... where do you want to start?"

"Potions. I feel a bit insecure about that exam. Especially the last couple," Hermione admitted, pulling out her textbook already.

"So Draught of Peace, Felix Felicis?"

"And Amortentia."

"Mmh, I bet you just wanna talk about how much you love me. Y'know, say it always has my scent... why could that be?" you jested, grinning as she rolled her eyes.

"You wish. You probably draw me in your margins. Or do you write Mz Granger, surrounded by little hearts?" She pouted.

You only shook your head, flipping pages until you spotted Felix. "So, what are the ingredients for liquid luck?"

"Evading, I see. Well, alright, pretend you don't fancy me. Let's see. Ingredients include..." She listed them all perfectly and for some time you could study without incident, more and more of your reading depending on wand-light.

You both perked up, however, when the sound of sticks crunching reached you. Had you been spotted? It was well after dusk and no teacher would appreciate you being out around this time.

Emerging from the woods, however, was none other than Luna. "Hello," she hummed. "You've found my favourite spot. I was just feeding the thestrals."

You beamed. "Come, sit down. We were just about to start on Astronomy. Isn't that one of your best subjects?"

Luna agreed quietly, sitting down beside you. "More the stories. I love reading about Venus and Neptune and those other beauties... much like you two."

Hermione flushed red, quite grateful for the dark. "You're the moon goddess, Luna. I mean, your name."

"It suits you," you chided. "Even now, seeing the moonlight reflect on your hair, your eyes, lips..." You gulped. She was staring at your mouth now. You thought of Amortentia.

"Thank you," she whispered, drawing herself closer to you. Her coat wasn't as thick as yours or Hermione's.

"Maybe I should sketch Luna in my margins. Or little 'Mrs. Lovegood's or something like that," Hermione smiled.

"I certainly would," you agreed. Luna's cheeks were tinged pink, more visible because the attention of your lights were on her. "Are you blushing, love?"

"Can't help it," she breathed, nestling her face into your neck out of embarrassment. A strong part of her, however, only wanted to be closer. Her whole body edged imperceptibly toward you. Hermione repositioned herself also, almost closing the gap between the three of you to 'talk better'. Your hand drifted to Luna's thigh, smoothing over the wool of her dress. You resisted the sudden urge to slip beneath it, along the brown tights, up to where the fragile fabric merged...

Hermione's knees were touching yours. Even through your jeans it was electric. Your mind jerked awake, albeit the late hour.

"I was going to ask...," Hermione began cautiously, "is there still something going on between you and Neville?"

"There never was," Luna replied happily. "We went on one date and decided we were stronger friends."

Hermione glanced at you, hardly a moment, hardly a look. Luna's leg shifted and your fingers found themselves at the hem of her dress.

"Does that mean I can kiss you?" you asked before thinking it through. You could have slapped a hand over your mouth. It was the lateness, surely - surely she would understand - but instead she stood. You cursed at yourself. Humiliating.

Except then she sat down again, back to Hermione, seated on your lap. You gaped. "Well?" she prompted innocently.

Your hand captured the nape of her neck, pulling her gently closer, teasing at the soft rose curve of her Cupid's bow, the plumper flesh of her lower lip. Finally, your teeth grazed her cheek and your mouths met. She let you lead, and you forced yourself to be patient, lingering after rushed tides of kisses. Torturous.

What is happening? Your books were long forgotten beside you. Hermione leaned closer still, breath tickling the blonde’s neck. This has to be a dream. Too surreal; just like these two beautiful women. But you were too afraid to stop, lest someone change their mind.

“It’s now or never,” you thought Luna whispered, but it was mostly lost in the wind, in the distraction of her braided her brushing against your shoulder. Hermione’s lips finally reached her skin, timidly venturing along the slant of her throat. Luna pulled back for air, your mouths disconnecting for the first time, lips dark against the pale of her face.

You allowed your fingers to wander; beneath the dress, along the tights, against the pool of damp between her legs. Your eyes met her crazed ones, and amongst whines - accolades for Hermione, who had now reached fingers around her chest - you elicited a nod, maybe two, three. How much of it was just her moving in accordance with Hermione’s sloppy kisses, the rhythm of her desperate grasps at Luna’s breasts, you would never know.

Yet with hardly any hesitance, your nails pinched the fabric, pulled it down, digits exploring her folds, disoriented. You ran your thumb over her pussy, curled it once inside her, searched along her for her clit. Your index and middle finger clasped around it, almost exasperated, and she rewarded you with a breathy moan that made you shudder.

Hermione groaned, slipping her hands further under layers of clothes so that she could reach Luna’s flesh properly, her front to the other girl’s back so that she could grind herself against Luna’s ass.

You caught her lips again, less stable this time, as she was pushing back and forth between you and Hermione, hoping for more friction. Your free hand grasped her jaw to hold her face still, meeting her with all the vigour you could translate.

Hermione discarded her coat, you following suit, leaving your moon goddess momentarily untouched and dazzling as she writhed on your lap. Her thin jacket was long gone and her dress, long-sleeved top underneath, stockings - were rumpled, scrunched in various places. Before you could worry about the cold she pulled the dress over her head, then the white top. Her tights remained bunched around her ankles, panties pushed to the side.

You wished, in retrospect, you had taken a moment to just look at her, admire her, but patience was a virtue and within seconds you were all over her, tongue tracing the smooth descent of her skin, running over the stretch marks at her belly, teasing the line of her underwear. Your fingers jerked into her, curling after every quick thrust within her cunt. She moaned wildly, out of breath, hair splayed behind her head like a halo.

Hermione had lowered Luna’s torso onto her own legs, kneading at her breasts with tender defiance.

“Harder,” Luna whispered into the night, face gleaming before the brightness of Lumos. “Please.”

“Are you sure, love?” you managed.

“Yes. Please.”

You could see Hermione’s grip on Luna’s body fasten, one of her hands migrating to her mouth, where Luna greedily sucked on her digits, grunting around them. Your speed picked up, fingers slamming with more force into her pussy as you toyed with her clit. Her back arched, the bones of her shoulders digging into Hermione’s thigh while her hips gyrated faster than you could have fingered her. Moans came in gasping lungfuls, your grunts accompanying her at the effort.

“Oh, Merlyn,” Hermione whined, pulling back her hands as if she was over-stimulated herself.

Luna threw her head back fully then, coming to an abrupt standstill, but you rode her through her orgasm, cunt clenching around your fingers as you felt her cum leak onto your hand. You smeared it across her inner thighs, leaning back, watching her pant.

She slumped to the ground. You and Hermione haphazardly leaned down on either side of her, hands lazily dragging over her body. You gravitated towards Hermione, pushing past her skirt tiredly, rubbing up and down her slit, arm slung over Luna. Hermione couldn’t help but react, grinding against you. She humped your hand with increasing vigour until she was jerking on the ground, looking like she was having a fit. Pathetic noises sounded from her, desperation clear on her face.

Luna rolled over somewhat, interrupting your connection to Hermione, instead guiding their legs together. Her pussy began moving against Hermione’s and very quickly they were scissoring, both of them humping the other so fast they looked desperate. “Sluts,” you cursed, feeling yourself grow hot with want. The sound of their slick loud.

You rolled over also, positioning your groin at Luna’s ass, started thrusting yourself against the plush of her backside.

All three of you were groaning (you), moaning (Luna), whining (Hermione), a sinful orchestra with the sound of slapping skin as base.

“Oh, Merlyn, oh God, oh God-“ Hermione started to chant, and you could feel Luna’s body tense simultaneously, the two of them coming with pornographic finales. Now hurried, you gripped Luna’s waist with considerable force, pushed yourself even harder into her. Luna groaned as you worked toward your own orgasm, body being pushed back and forward with every movement.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-“ you gasped, finally coming through your clothes, the rush of it almost making your eyes roll back into your skull. “Fuck!”

Luna backed into you (for the warmth), and you carefully wrapped your coat around her sore and bare figure.

“Which subject was that?” Hermione chuckled, brown curls cascading across the leaf-covered ground to the tip of her wand.

“I just hope it isn’t taught by Professor Snape,” Luna replied drearily. You couldn’t help but laugh.

[shadowsingers-mate]

@elucienweekofficial

Masks (Elucien Week Day 5)

A/N: This is not only my first submission for #ElucienWeek2024, but also the first story I've ever written, as well as posted. I couldn't resist the opportunity to show my love for this lovely couple. Happy Elucien Week!

Lucien Vanserra stood before the mirror in his opulent chambers at the Spring Court, the flickering candlelight casting shadows across his face.

Tonight, he dressed meticulously. His attire was a blend of Spring Court elegance and Night Court allure—a tailored coat of dark velvet, lined with silver embroidery that caught the light just so. His red hair were swept back, revealing the pointed tips of his ears adorned with delicate earrings that glittered like starlight , the silky thread glinting under the soft glow of the lanterns.

His reflection gazed back at him, a facade of bright charisma and sharp wit. But beneath that polished exterior lay the anguish and trauma he'd hidden from the world for so long.

He had always worn a mask—far longer than the one Amarantha had cursed him with. That mask was nothing compared to the one he had been wearing all his life.

The Spring Court's elegant walls had been his refuge after fleeing from the Autumn Court, but even here, the mask remained firmly in place.

And then Elain had come into his life. He recalled the shock and bewilderment that had coursed through him when the mating bond snapped into place. He had cut through Hybern’s binding spell like a knife through butter, his feet carrying him to her trembling form, putting his coat over her shoulders. The moment their eyes met, he had felt it—an undeniable connection, a pull so strong it left him breathless. She was beautiful, fragile, and utterly perfect in his eyes.

Every day, he longed for her touch, her presence, but she remained a dream, always just out of reach. Tonight, he was expected at the Night Court for the solstice, a gathering he approached with a heart weighed down by sorrow and longing.

His longing for her gnawed at him, an ache that never truly left. His mate instincts screamed at him to go to her, to be with her, but her unwillingness kept him at bay. He stayed away, respecting her wishes, but the pain of it was almost unbearable. Despite the turmoil within, his mask remained in place. His heart broke every time he saw her, but he hid it behind a mask of composed charm.

He had not one, but three duties to uphold—emissary to the Night Court, ally to the Band of Exiles, and ally of Tamlin. He fulfilled these roles with dedication, hiding his true emotions behind immaculate dressings and his ever-present mask.

Tonight, as the solstice approached and he prepared to journey to the Night Court, he smoothed a hand over his heart, feeling the ache of love and longing that threatened to consume him.

On the small table by his bed, a bracelet lay nestled in a velvet box. It was a gift for Elain, a token of his unwavering love and devotion. Beside it, a letter he had penned, each word a piece of his soul, a promise of his love and a plea for her to understand.

With a heavy sigh, Lucien opened the box. Inside was a delicate silver bracelet, adorned with tiny charms. Each charm represented a hope, a dream, a promise for their future together—a future he prayed she would one day accept. He placed the bracelet carefully in a velvet-lined box, along with a letter he had written for her. The words spilled from his heart, inked onto parchment with trembling hands.

My Dearest Elain,

As the solstice approaches, I find myself thinking of you more than ever. The bond we share is a gift, one that I cherish despite the distance that has grown between us. I understand your reservations, your need for space, and I respect them deeply. Please know that my heart is yours, now and always.This bracelet is a token of my loyalty and devotion, a small symbol of the love that binds me to you. Each charm represents a promise—a promise that I will stand by your side, that I will protect and cherish you, that I will love you unconditionally.I ask for nothing in return except for your happiness and well-being, Elain. Know that I will wait for you, for as long as it takes.

Yours always,

Lucien.

He sealed the letter with a drop of wax, pressing his signet ring into it with a sense of finality. As he winnowed to the Night Court, his mask remained firmly in place, a shield against a world that had taken so much from him, yet one he faced with undying hope and devotion.

[tyrian-witch]

In This World of My Own | Chapter One: Something Normal For Once

(Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader)

Takes place in the fall of 1985, after the events of season 3 (aka Starcourt Mall fire womp womp), reader is graduating high school as it’s her last year.

*Reader is afab and goes by she/her pronouns, given last name (to be revealed*

A/N: This is my first time writing a fic on tumblr so I’m a little new to it, and this is also my first time writing a Stranger Things fic :P

Warnings: None that I know of (unless you count my crappy writing), semi-proof read, fluff question mark? Robin being a good wingman for Steve. Slow burn?? Oh and some minor swearing

Word count: don’t know, don’t care

masterlist

~~~

October, 1985

Fall is the superior season, and what better place to enjoy it than in the small town of Hawkins? Sure, it wasn’t perfect (nothing really is to be honest), and it had this eeriness to it, but it wasn’t that bad.

If anything, the beauty of fall made up for any lingering spookiness that might have lurked in the shadows, but it was fine!

You’ve heard rumours and conspiracy theories of aliens and other things when you moved to Hawkins 2 months ago, but you thought those rumours were silly.

You didn’t really pay any mind to it, simply because you thought it might be some sort of silly hoax or whatnot. Maybe, just maybe it could be possible, but at the same time time, who knows!

For now though, it was your time to enjoy the lovely autumn environment that currently surrounded you.

It was a cloudy Thursday afternoon in October, and as soon as school finishes at 3 o’clock, you gather your things and book it out of there.

You mount on your bike, but you weren’t really in a hurry given that your shift at the local coffee shop wasn’t for another thirty minutes and it wasn’t too far away either - you figure you could get there early anyways because why not? You had nothing better to do, you were pretty much caught up on everything.

On your way there, you take in the beauty of your environment and silently thank Mother Nature for it as you cruise by yourself along the road, all while the jaunty tune of Pink Shoelaces plays on your Walkman. You feel good.

~~~

It’s very slow today, there’s hardly any customers.

You think there’d be some people coming in, especially after school. Maybe that’s just you. The Hawkins Cafe is a cozy spot, just on the corner of Main Street. In a way, you were glad it wasn’t very crowded, but again, it was concerning if you were at work doing nothing. What would be the point? You’re still getting paid, but no customers to serve. Bummer.

To kill the time, you decided to tidy up your station.

You were working by yourself, but whoever was in your place last did not do a good job of keeping the space clean. You even found a big coffee leak under the coffee maker that was left unattended.

“The hell happened here?” you mutter. You lift it up and some of the liquid spreads on the counter. “Ah shit, what the fuck? Seriously, are you kidding me?”

As you begin wiping down the spill, the sound of the doorbell chimes, signalling that someone has entered.

“Just a second!” you call out.

You finish cleaning up, before turning around to see, not one, but two customers: a guy and a girl. The girl had short blonde hair and freckles, and the guy had brown hair, and by the way it was styled, you could tell he took pride in it. It looked so soft, you could just reach out and touch it.

Huh?

You put on your best customer service face and smile. Wiping your hands on your apron, you say “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

“Hi!” the girl says. “I’ll have an espresso, please.”

“Okay, can I get your name?”

“Robin” the girl says with a smile. “We have biology together.”

You look at her, squinting briefly. Then it hits you: “Oh, yeah that’s right. Robin Buckley?”

She nods, still smiling.

You turn to the guy and say: “And what can I get for you?”

“Oh uh, I’ll just have a black coffee with some milk and 2 sugars, please.”

You nod, jotting both their orders down. Looking back at him again you ask for his name.

“Steve,” he tells you, offering a friendly smile.

“Okay, one espresso and one black coffee with milk and two sugars coming up” you affirm, heading to your station.

Meanwhile, Robin and Steve were sitting at one of the tables, talking amongst themselves.

“Veronica canceled on me,” Steve says, almost dejectedly.

“And why would that be?” Robin asks.

He pulls a face and shrugs before running a hand through his hair. “I dunno.”

Robin lowers her voice. “I think the issue is that you try to hard to charm the ladies, you just… fling yourself at them,” she tells him, doing a flinging motion with her hands to demonstrate.

“For your information, Buckley, I was this close,” he pinches his index finger and thumb together, “to going on a date with her.”

“Then why did she cancel?” 

“She said she had a family emergency,” Steve says matter-of-factly.

Robin scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Family emergency? Yeah, right.”

“What?” Steve has a confused look. “What’s wrong with that?” he asks.

He receives a look of disbelief from his friend. “Oh my gosh- okay,” she says. “You do realize that a “‘family emergency’,” she air quotes, “is just an excuse to get out of stuff, like a date, right?” She goes on.

As she’s explaining this, you catch his attention as your making their beverages. He wonders about you. Come to think of it, you’re really pretty. Wait-

“Hello, are you listening?” Robin waves a hand in his face.

Before he could say anything, he sees you coming over and stops his staring you make your way to their table, drinks in hand. “Here you go, is there anything else you two would like? you ask.

“No, thank you” they politely tell you.

You smile. “All right then. Enjoy!” Turning on your heal, you resume your front-of-house duties at the counter, awaiting new customers.

Steve watches you while you work, taking sips of his drink. In the midst of enjoying the caffeine, Robin catches this. Her eyes light up, as if a switch just went on.

“You should ask her out” she tells him.

“Huh?

Robin briefly glances in your direction.

“No, I- there’s no way-”

“Why not?” she almost yells.

“I don’t- wanna scare her off,” he says in a hushed voice.

“You don’t have to scare her off, dingus. Have you ever thought about taking things slow? Just relax.” Robin swiftly gets up from her seat then, making her way to the counter.

“Nonononono wait! What are you doing?” Steve whispers through gritted teeth.”

Robin grins cheekily. “Getting you back in your game!”

Steve was worried you could hear their conversation this entire time, but you had put your Walkman back on since it seemed like it was going to be empty for a little while longer, meaning your service wasn’t needed.

Steve feels nervous about whatever Robin is planning. If she even blows his chance to go on a date with you, he doesn’t know how he’d handle it. He normally doesn’t get flustered or embarrassed often. But he sees you now. He recalls seeing you around before, yes, you were new, but he never really paid you any mind. But he sees you - what could he do? Scare the new girl away before she even had a chance to know him, and vice versa? No way.

He wants to learn how to take things slow and easy, and not to “fling” himself like Robin said. He’d at least like to properly get to know you first, to have a chance at that. Now that he’s finally gotten a break from having to fight monsters from another dimension, he actually has the time on his hands to do something normal for once; in this case, meeting you.

“Hi again!”

Through the corner of your eye, you see Robin at the counter and immediately take off your headphones. “Oh! Yes, what can I- what can I get for you?” you stammer.

Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to wear headphones. Whoops!

She sees the look of embarrassment on your face and reassures you. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” she winks. “I wanted to ask, you’re new here, right?”

“Mhm.” You nod.

“Have you been to Family Video?”

“No, I haven’t really got the chance to check out the stores here,” you say. “Why do you ask?”

She squeals in excitements “Oh! Perfect! When are you free?”

You shrug, thinking about it for a moment. “Tomorrow after my shift at 7, 7:30-ish, I guess?”

Robin, who continues to smile, taps the counter before heading back to sit with Steve. She points at you. “We will see you tomorrow then. Bye!”

She drags Steve from his chair, urging him that they were “gonna be late for work” followed by “hey, my coffee!”

You watch the scene unfold, finding it almost odd, like something you’d see in a comedy.

“Okay, weird. But okay,” you say to yourself. “…Oh well.”

~~~

“Dude, what the hell was that?” Steve asks exasperatedly.

He’s driving now to Family Video, with Robin in the passenger seat. She’s looking out the window, then faces him.

With raised eyebrows, she says, “Uh, you’re welcome?”

“Nuh-uh, not ‘you’re welcome,’ you didn’t have to do that for me! I could have done it myself. I would have.”

She only looks at him and laughs.

Noticing the look on her face l, he rolls his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” She feigns innocence.

He shakes his head. “I would have done it.”

“Yeah, buuuuut you didn’t.”

Steve can only glare at her.

“Relax, lover boy. As your wingman, I just did you a huge favour.” She clicks her teeth and proudly points to herself. “You’re welcome.”

“Yeah, thanks” he sasses.

Let’s hope it’s different this time, he thinks.

~~~

Hope you enjoyed! :D

-M. ♉️

➤ next part