#@ me your stuff ID GLADLY READ

[silentstaresfanficandfanart]

guys i freaking did it fraeking did self therapy so i could edit this ritsu into the image, ensemble stars CAN be good for your mental health see! This was just so freaking ritsu-core I had to sit down and hardcore speedrun through trying to process some trauma so id stop getting flashbacks during this, its uh, not 100% BUT my flashbacks decreased in severity and frequency enough i could finish the piece without making myself miserable explanation for what i did below

Id do a below the cut thing but i cant figure out how that works so sorry for the long post but i figured i should share it since it provided me relief so freaking fast-? (again im not cured but ...it helped.)

(I sat down, processed my trauma by going over what i learned from my traumatic experience and not shying away from the things i wanted to avoid because well they were making me have flashbacks, carefully going over what i learned from it in detail that allowed me to regain some control over how the situation affected me and how i handle situations going forward and how it changed my view of the world, and then i went over in detail how i would handle it if a similar situation came up and what little i can actually do to prevent it, while also assuring myself that its okay that theres a certain degree of uncertainty but that its a very rare and unlikely thing for that to ever happen let alone multiple times in my life and ill probably never encounter it again, and since i took my brains concerns seriously, it seemed to be more willing to actually let me believe that this time. I feel ...so much better and like a weights been lifted. I cant believe i just freaking did all this becasue i needed to make a meme so bad but honestly im so proud of myself, worth it. definitely reccomend it, I really wish someone had told me sooner that telling yourself what you learned from a situation and making it part of an uplifting narrative and that kind of thing is in fact, what it means to process trauma and that theres actually a definition for that and its not just wait around and hope your brain unfricks itself. i have a lot of work left to do on myself but i feel so much better... thanks to original poster for making a meme so good i had to make my own ver-)

Saw this post and immediately knew I had to make it Ford

(Og post under cut)

[shadowkoo]

Just Dance It Off

→ Summary: You're over the moon when you land the female lead in the end-of-semester show. It feels like your hard work has finally paid off, everything is going great. Well, until you learn who your partner is…

↠ jimin x f.reader | 9.5k words | 18+ ↠ genre: smut, angst, fluff, ballet dancers au, enemies to lovers, performing arts college au

→ Warnings: explicit and unprotected sex, jealousy, masturbation, alcohol consumption, underage drinking, use of fake ID, mild exhibitionism, creampie, hair pulling, angry sex, nipple play, degradation, dirty talk, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, multiple smut scenes, heavy teasing & banter, edging, orgasm denial, light choking

→ Author Note: This is a rewrite of an old 2019 fic of mine, so I hope you enjoy the newest version! If you’d like to read this on ao3 instead it’s been crossposted here! Also a biiiiiiig thank you so Sarah @caelesjjk for beta editing this for me. Go show her some love if you aren't already following her! As always, all likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated <3

“Oh, no,” you hear one of the dancers behind you whisper to another, “Look who’s walking in.”

Your curiosity gets the best of you as you casually stretch, your eyes betraying you by glancing over your shoulder toward the door, dying to see who they’re talking about. You recognize him almost immediately and the whispers continue to grow about the slender male who is walking across the room to set his stuff down.

Park Jimin.

Of course, he would be auditioning for this show. It’s his final semester, and you really should have seen this coming. Especially since you knew he was bound to get whatever position he was auditioning for. That’s a given.

Park Jimin always gets whatever he wants in life; whether that be a specific role in a performance, who his performance partners are both on the stage…and in the bedroom, that sort of thing. He’s the most pretentious person you’ve ever met, seeing as he acts like he is God’s gift to the dance world, and you’re already dreading any interaction you’ll have with him.

Rumor has it that his daddy, former dancer and sponsor, paid his way into Juilliard, but as much as you hate to admit it, he (unfortunately) happens to be very talented and you doubt the school didn’t already have something lined up for him, regardless of who his family is. Unlike you, who was on the waitlist for two months and had to take out a loan worth more than your life to attend this school.

Your eyes meet his and Jimin does a once-over before moving onto the people to your left. What a prick.

“Y/N!” a voice yells from the entryway. Your familiar, freckled, redheaded best friend is quickly prancing towards you.

“I’m so happy to see you here,” Catalina squeals before hugging you tightly. “What part are you auditioning for? Please tell me it’s lead. God, I miss you. It sucks that we don’t have any classes together this semester. How are you?”

You hug your petite friend back, “I miss you too! Please tell me that you’re not also auditioning for lead, I don’t want to be judged against you. Your pirouettes are perfect compared to my lousy ones.”

Her laugh echoes through the room. “Apparently you didn’t hear about my recent tumble,” she jokes, bumping her shoulder into yours. “I’ll gladly be in the background after my solo-gone-wrong.”

“Alright, everyone!” One of the male judges calls out, walking past the lineup of dancers to collect everyone’s entry form. “We’ll start with the routine you were required to memorize as a group, and then it will be individual evaluations after. Make sure your numbers are secured and let’s line up outside the door.”

After taking your place and getting into position with the rest of the packed room, you wait for the cue to begin. The routine is short and simple, and years of practice have made some of the required moves second nature.

Before you know it, the judges are escorting people out the door for the individual sessions.

You're about twentieth in line, right behind Cat. That makes you a bit nervous because, even though she’s not auditioning for the lead role, her impressive skills might land her a more prominent part than the one she’s aiming for.

Everyone else is quietly chatting in line while you do your best to relax, working through your routine in your mind. This is one of your pre-audition rituals. It always helps with easing your nerves.

By the time you finish running through a couple of full-outs in your head, you’re second in line. You wish Cat good luck as she’s ushered into the dance studio. Her five minutes go by almost too quickly, but she exits with a happy smile.

“Hey, good luck! Kill it, okay?”

You nod, quickly following after the woman who calls your name next.

“Miss Y/N, it says here that you’re auditioning for the female lead. As a sophomore?” Mr. Jenson, one of your dance professors and judge, questions. You prepared for this. It’s very uncommon for an underclassman to try out for such a prestigious role.

“Yes, sir. That’s correct.” You hold your head high.

“Well, I have to say I’m quite impressed with your confidence. Whenever you’re ready.”

You wait for the familiar beginning notes of Tchaikovsky’s Waltz Of The Flowers to play before flying effortlessly through your well-practiced routine. You’re banking on the emotional state of your dancing along with the technical moves you’ve included to impress the judges, and based on their faces when you finish, you figure you did just that. You can’t help but grin widely as you watch the four of them scribble furiously onto the sheets of paper. That’s a really good sign.

“I have to say, I was a little thrown off in the beginning by your song choice since it’s so, hmm, how do I say this, so amateur. But I was very surprised by what you chose to express and the level at which you dance,” the first judge says.

“Yes, the lines you created with your body were very exquisite,” another praises.

You nodded, taking in their advice and criticism.

“Thank you, Miss Y/N, you may exit.” Mr. Jenson says with a smile.

As soon as you step out the door and exhale, you feel a sense of relief. The excitement of your successful audition courses through you, filling you with good energy.

You find Cat stretching in the warm-up room next door.

“Oh my god, you got it. Didn’t you?” She squeals the second she sees your face.

“I don’t know…” You have a pretty good idea based on their responses and comments but aren’t positive.

“Oh, please,” she rolls her eyes, “That’s your ’I just nailed my audition’ face. You totally got it.”

“I hope so. God, wouldn’t that be so insane? When was the last time an underclassman got the lead?”

Someone behind you scoffs; you look over your shoulder and see that it’s Jimin. Your eyes narrow at him, but Cat turns you back before you go off on him. “Not worth it, the rest of us seniors think it’s great that you’re trying for a top spot. How about we go get a drink from the vending machine while we wait?”

You nod before grabbing your warm-up bag and follow her out. “I can’t believe him. He’s so stuck up,” You grumble once you’re far enough away that no one but Cat can hear you.

“He’s always like that, just be thankful that you don’t share any classes with him.”

You’ve heard that Jimin is usually the center of attention in class, whether it’s his choice or not, so you can’t imagine being stuck in one with him. It sounds like it would be impossible to get good feedback if the teachers only care about him.

After you both buy the drinks that you want, you head back. The line is smaller but it will still be at least a half-hour until everyone has had their turn. You sigh impatiently and head back into the warm-up room.

Deciding to sit along the mirrored wall, you rummage through your bag to find a pair of headphones and put your favorite playlist on shuffle while you wait. Even though it feels like half the day goes by while you’re sitting there waiting, it’s really only been about an hour.

Everyone’s attention lands on Madam Jamie, one of the contemporary dance professors, when she asks everyone to re-enter the audition room.

“Okay,” she starts once everyone gets in line, “Those whose numbers I am about to call, please step forward. Dancers eleven, one fifty-three, one forty-seven, seventeen, thirty-eight, twenty-two, and one ten.”

Cat gives you a concerned look as she steps forward without you.

“Seventy-two, fifteen, sixty-eight, thirty, thirty-four, eighty-two, one twenty-one–” you step forward and sigh in relief once she spoke your number. Tuning out the rest of the numbers called, you smile at Cat as she reaches for your hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

“Everyone else, I’m sorry to inform you that you have not been selected. Thank you for your time,” She finishes, resting her clipboard against her chest.

Those who didn’t make the cut are escorted out as Mr. Jenson stands up to make an announcement.

“I have everyone’s part listed here,” He shakes the paper in his hand. “It’ll be left on this table for you all to look over. However, I want to first congratulate you all. We are excited to have this much talent for the semester’s exhibition show. We have some great things planned and cannot wait to get started with you all. Please take note of our rehearsal schedule. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Eight to noon. Most of you should not have conflicting schedules as all dance classes are held in the afternoon anyway, although if you do have a problem just stay after and we can work it out. Madam Jamie and I will see you back here Monday morning. Dismissed.”

You and Cat both wait until more people clear out of the room before you have the guts to read the paper.

Catalina Wilde - Corps de ballet

Your eyes wander across the page as you search for your name.

Y/N - Lead Female Soloist

Turning towards each other, you squeal “Oh my god,” at the same time.

“I can’t believe it. We both got what we wanted,” you excitedly rush out.

“I know, this never happens. Oh, I’m so excited!” She reaches for your hand and squeezes it again, picking up the paper with her other hand.

“Oh, no.” She turns the paper towards you, “Look who your partner is.”

Park Jimin - Lead Male Soloist

You huff, “Of course, I’m not surprised.” You turn your head and search the mostly-empty room for him. You have a feeling he’s still here, it’s like you can sense his presence.

“Cat! You coming?” the group of dancers near the door asks.

“Shoot, I’ve got to head to my next session. I’ll see you later, okay?” Cat says, giving you a quick hug as she runs out the door.

Leaving just you and Jimin.

Deciding to let go of your prejudice against Jimin, you figure the best move would be to congratulate him on getting the part he auditioned for.

He watches blankly from the mirrored wall as you walk towards him.

Once in front of him, you stick your hand out. “Hey congrats, I’m looking forward to–” you begin before he rudely cuts you off by holding up his hand.

“Yeah, whatever,” he sneers, “We need to take this extremely seriously so I expect you to be at our rehearsals an hour early so we can get in extra time,” he looks you over again, “From what I can tell you’re gonna need it.”

“Also,” apparently he isn’t finished, “I expect that you’ll be taking care of your diet from here on out since I’m going to be lifting you and I don’t want my arms to give out, or worse, snap.”

“Well, you can always go to the gym and work on that yourself,” you say defensively. What a jerk.

“So can you, sweetheart.”

“Uh, wow. Okay…” Here you are trying to congratulate him and here he is treating you like dirt. “Guess the rumors are true,” you mutter as you shift your duffel strap further up your shoulder, turning to leave.

“Excuse me?” Well, shit. He wasn’t supposed to hear that part. You look him in the eyes without showing any regret for your previous statement.

His eyes narrow at you, clearly not liking your RBF, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Sorry.” However, you aren’t.

“You know,” he remarks, “I don’t care about what you’ve heard about me or what you think about me. I care if you’re going to be too immature for this role and if that’s the case I’ll have no trouble replacing you.” He follows you out the audition room.

Oh boy, you’re pissed now. You turn around and get right in his face.

“What the fuck? In case you haven’t noticed, you aren’t in charge here. Just because you’re a senior and I’m a sophomore doesn’t make you any better than me,” you bark while shoving a finger in his chest.

“Secondly, I don’t need to believe the rumors because you’ve just proven them to be true. You’re an ass to all of your partners to the point that they don’t want to dance with you so you can,” you lift up your hands to finger quote this next part, “Pick who you think is good enough.”

You scoff, “Well, here’s a fun fact dickwad. I’m not going anywhere. The judges chose me and I fully intend on dancing as the female lead in the show. So get the fuck over yourself ‘cause you’re about to be seeing a lot of me in these next few months. Got it?“

"Fine,” he huffs, pushing past you.

“Fine!” you snap, turning away from him and heading towards your next class. Now that you're thoroughly annoyed and not in the mood for your next class, which happens to be a two-hour lecture on the history of interpretive dance, you sigh and get moving before you’re late.

The first two weeks of ‘rehearsals’ are spent training, just at a higher level than you’re used to. However, you hide it well. You’ve been making sure to keep up with the upperclassmen because you know that you are, unfortunately, replaceable if Madam Jamie or Mr. Jenson deems it necessary.

It doesn’t matter that your thighs feel like they are on fire, or that your calves might be ripping at every bend and arch you make. You’re going to complete the one hundred pliés just like everyone else without a single complaint.

Jimin must have taken your last conversation to heart, or he’s exceptionally good at masking his feelings if your words bothered him, because he’s been an excellent partner all week. Although, you know you aren’t going to grow a typical relationship with him as you did with all of the other partners you have had over the years. You’ve been friends, good friends, even, with your previous partners, something you know is never going to happen with Jimin.

He doesn’t do small talk. He really doesn’t have much to say at all other than pointing out when you are making a mistake. No good comments, nor praise–not that you’re expecting any–but it would have been nice to hear him say that he is impressed with how well you’re keeping up with him.

It’s Friday of the second week, which means that it’s the last day of the training period aka hell week, thankfully. You’re dying to get started on learning the actual program. You aren’t looking forward to Jimin’s request of showing up an hour earlier than everyone else this next week, but even though you hate to admit it, the extra time will end up benefiting you.

Today also happens to be the day the choreographer is coming in. You’ve heard the whispers throughout the school this week, everyone trying to guess who it’s going to be.

And after seeing who Madam Jamie walks into the studio with, you’re so happy to see that they were all wrong.

“O-oh my–ohmygod,” you bumble and did a double-take. It couldn’t be, could it?

The brown curls hung gorgeously on the tall man’s head and you internally drool at how much better looking he is in person. He’s so tan, so fit, so delicious–

“Can you concentrate?” Jimin grumbles in annoyance, pulling you out of your slightly inappropriate thoughts. You’re doing partner stretches, which does require some level of focus, but not enough that you have to look away from the literal Italian God who stood a mere six feet away. “What’s your deal anyway? We’re supposed to be preparing our muscles for the toughest training session yet and you’re over there stuttering like a fool.”

You scoff at him and lower your voice, “Don’t you know who that is?”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Does it look like I care?” He mutters, pushing the backside of your thigh towards your torso.

“You can’t be serious,” you exasperate. “That’s Luca Black! You know, one of the most famous choreographers in the dance world right now. I can’t believe you don’t see how big of a deal this is.”

“The only thing I care about right now is making sure your hamstrings are loose so you don’t kick me in the face when we’re dancing.”

Now there’s an idea…

“Alright, everyone! Front and center please,” Mr. Jenson announces as he walks in the door, right on time as usual.

“Dancers, I would like you to meet Mr. Black, your choreographer. I expect you all to treat him with the same level of respect that you give me and Madam Jamie.”

“Oh please,” Mr. Black says, stepping forward, “You can all call me Luca.” His smile hits the heart of every girl in the class, and even a few of the guys. “I am looking forward to working with you all to make this performance one to remember. Can we get into a lineup to start?”

Everyone moves into the typical sequence based on each person’s position of where they belong. Which meant that you and Jimin were dead center with Luca’s eyes right on you.

You swallow slowly when he walks towards the two of you. “You must be Y/N. Mr. Jenson has told me quite a lot about you. I have to say, I am most excited to work with a dancer like you.”

Jimin is perplexed that Luca went straight to you. If anything, he’s the better dancer here and he doesn’t quite understand why a sophomore is getting so much attention. He’s nearly sick to his stomach listening to the nauseating conversation that you two are having.

“It’s an honor to have you working with us Mr. Black,” you say in awe as you shake his hand.

“Luca,” he corrects before lifting your hand to kiss it, “And the pleasure is most definitely all mine.”

“Sorry,” you pant, rushing through the door. “I know I’m a couple of minutes late. I couldn’t find parking. Why is it so freaking busy? It’s barely seven.”

“Don’t let it happen again,” Jimin says ignoring your question. You bite your tongue and get straight into your morning stretches.

“What do you want to work on today?” you ask, knowing what he is going to say after you’re warmed up. For the past three weeks, you and Jimin have been dedicating extra time to perfecting scene two's Pas De Deux.

It’s the only section of this scene where you’re both completely alone on stage and Jimin is dead-set on making it nothing less than perfect. He reasons that just because you are the only two people on stage doesn’t mean that the audience’s attention is a given, you need to earn it.

Which is a very on-brand thing for Jimin to say.

“Do you really need to ask?” He snickers with a playful smile plastered to his face.

“Nevermind then,” you banter back, joining him as he finishes stretching.

You’ve surprisingly gotten pretty comfortable with Jimin after spending more time with him. Dancing with him is mostly fun, besides when he calls you out on your mistakes…repeatedly. But even then, you know he tries to mean well. You both have to be the best or the other will end up looking like a fool–which (you assume) neither of you want to happen.

Knowing that you’re almost halfway through the semester is a little terrifying. All the dancers have been making great progress and everything is coming together seamlessly, but you can’t help but feel the nervousness set in.

You take a deep breath and clear your thoughts, getting nervous right now will do you no good. Thankfully, when you start dancing your mind settles and you’re able to concentrate on your performance. 

Well, that is, until Jimin drops you during the lift. You might have understood the mistake if he hadn’t done it three times prior.

“Get up.” He holds his hand out for you, pulling you to your feet. “We need to get this number down, you know how important it is.”

“I’m aware of that,” you hiss. “But it would be nice if you weren’t letting me fall every two seconds.” You rub your aching side and stretch to see if that helps ease the pain.

“Just dance it off, you’ll be fine.” Jimin walks over to his stuff along the wall, before bending down to grab his water bottle.

You scowl. “Stop being ridiculous and hold me properly. I don’t have teeth anywhere down there,” you say motioning to the space between your legs. “You can put your hand where it belongs without worry, you know.”

Jimin blushes as soon as he hears your words, he turns away quickly before you notice. Yes, it’s technically his fault that you keep falling. It isn’t intentional, but he can’t help it. Especially when he can feel the warmth of your center from where his hand is resting when he goes in for the lift.

The thought of other parts of him being this close to your heat is driving him crazy and yeah, he may have faltered, which yeah, may have caused you to crash down once…twice. Okay, maybe three times. Or four?

It doesn’t matter. He’s so hyper-focused on why he’s thinking about you like this at all. You’re attractive, he already knew that. But this new-found thought of wanting to take you hard and fast, right here in the studio is something else. It comes from deep within, and he can’t decide if he wants to squash the idea completely or let it lead to something wild.

Jimin shakes his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts just long enough for you to both get through these next ten minutes before the rest of the crew arrives for rehearsal. “Alright, let’s go again.”

You get into position, Jimin falling behind you. You try to hold still but his breath tickles your neck while you wait for the music cue.

The motions are practically natural to you at this point, and you take a deep breath, preparing yourself in case you fall again.

You rapidly suck in air when you feel Jimin’s fingers press deep into your inner thigh this time as he lifts you. They are incredibly close, much closer than they were last time.

You won’t ever admit to it, but your mind is overflowing with dirty thoughts of Jimin’s fingers somewhere else. Particularly somewhere that would have you writhing within seconds.

Those thoughts are distracting, and you’re late for your cue to jump down. And somehow instead of jumping, your body twists around in a weird way as your head dives down toward the ground below you. Tensing, you brace for the impact that doesn’t come.

Unexpectedly, Jimin manages to catch you before any damage happens, and he quickly pulls you up, as if you were never upside down to begin with. His arms are wrapped right below your butt, causing your head to be directly above his. How on earth it got there, you have no idea.

But you aren’t questioning it. Adrenaline runs wild through your body, and you cling to him as if your life depends on it. Your arms are wrapped tightly around his neck, scared that you still might fall somehow.

Your faces are only a few inches apart in this position, which allows you to see how soft and smooth Jimin’s lips look. You slowly lick yours as he lowers you down to the ground, keeping the same amount of distance, or lack thereof, between you two. The realization that it would be so easy to kiss him right now has set in and you swear Jimin has the same mad thoughts; especially when he’s gripping your hips this tightly.

What you both don’t realize is that outside of the main doors, the rest of the dancers are watching with wide eyes and shocked faces. If it weren't for the unmistakable red hair you see in the mirror's reflection, who knows what might have happened? You don’t think about it, instead, you pull away and play it off before heading toward your bag to grab a drink.

“Morning everyone! What are we all waiting for?” Luca says from behind the dancers, “Let’s go in and get warmed up.”

He opens the door and sees you and Jimin at opposite ends of the room, each taking big gulps from your water bottles. Interesting…

Cat walks in and sets her stuff down next to Jimin’s and silently watches him. His face is flushed but she can’t tell if it was because of the intense moment you two just shared, or from the strain of the lifting sequence. She was the first to notice the look you two shared before the crowd outside the door, and she has a weird feeling about it.

Last she knew you were still fighting with Jimin during your pre-practices, although she’s very aware of the saying ’there’s a fine line between love and hate’. Cat makes a mental note to ask you about this morning’s situation later.

The first half of practice is weird, to say the least. Jimin is treating you like nothing happened. And while technically nothing happened, something almost did and you don’t know how you felt about the something.

Needless to say, you aren’t on top of your dance game today. It’s hard to concentrate with your head filled with empty-answered questions and even more confusion.

“Okay, everyone,” Luca echoes, stealing every dancer’s attention, “Let’s take five. When we reconvene we’ll do a recap of Scenes One through Three with no breaks. If we can get it down we’ll move onto the beginning of Scene Four today.”

You and Jimin happily turn in opposite directions, grateful for some space.

“Y/N, can you stay back? There’s something I want to go over with you,” Luca calls out, stopping you from heading in the direction of Cat and some of the other girls.

Oh no. That’s never a good sign.

“Don’t worry, you’re not doing anything wrong,” he says after seeing your smile falter. “I just see a little room for improvement with the last sequence before the song changes in scene three.”

He gestures for you to get into position in front of him, which you do without hesitation.

Luca moves closer to you and rests a hand on your lower back, “Tighten here and stretch.” He shows you how to position your body to make it look more elegant and elongated. “See how much longer you look now?” His eyes meet yours in the mirror. “Hold yourself like this through the rest of the dance. Trust me when I say you’ll notice a difference. So will everyone else.”

A blush creeps up your neck when his hand slides across your hip before he steps away from you, “Thank you for the tip.”

His eyes burn into yours, and you feel the heat growing in your lower stomach. “Anytime, Y/N.” His lips turned into a small smile, which you returned.

Jimin stalks silently as Luca touches you, his anger bubbling deep down inside him. Fuck, he doesn’t exactly want you, but he definitely doesn’t want anyone else to have you either. And he sure as hell doesn’t want Luca touching you like that or giving you those looks; looks that have disguised intentions with ulterior motives behind them.

He wants to tell Luca where to go and how to get there, but he knows better. Not only would it be unprofessional as hell, but Jimin would probably be screwed out of a lot of future events if he tells one of the best choreographers to fuck off.

He forces himself to look away and takes another deep breath, calming down a little before part two of rehearsals starts.

The second half of rehearsals ends sooner than expected, and Jimin storms off before you even have the chance to talk to him about this morning. You sigh, your eyes trailing his fast exit.

“Y/N! I’m heading to the vending machine for a granola bar, want to come with me?” Cat asks. You’re sure that her question has a hidden agenda too, but you go along with it anyway since you’re starving and need to eat something small before your next class.

“Sure, just give me a second to switch out of my pointe shoes.” You don’t like to wear yours for walking since they’re new and still stiff.

“So,” Catalina begins, watching you put the money into the machine. “What was that this morning? And don’t you dare try to say it was just dancing, because I’ve seen 'just dancing’ with Jimin and that was not at all what I saw earlier.”

You groan internally, not wanting to deal with her interrogation. Cat isn’t the type to judge you if you told her that you would’ve fucked Jimin right then if it wasn’t for the fact that you noticed her (and the rest of the dancers). But you don’t want to admit it to yourself.

Saying it and thinking it are two very different things, and you aren’t sure you can come to terms with saying that you want to fuck Jimin. Hell, you have no idea if you will feel the same way in an hour. So you choose to keep it to yourself for now.

“Did something happen between you two?” she asks bluntly.

“No, nothing happened between us.”

“And is that a good or bad thing?” she questions next.

“Good,” you huff, “I think…”

It’s been another busy few weeks, and things have been going great…until today. To be honest, this is probably the worst dance day you’ve had in years.

“I’m sorry guys, let’s start from the top,” you apologize again for messing up. The scene you’re going over today isn’t complicated by any means, it’s only a transition scene. But your head is elsewhere which, in turn, makes you mess up every couple of seconds.

You're not getting many approving looks from the room. Luca is a little worried, Madam Jamie has pursed lips, and the dancers are severely annoyed with you.

“No, Miss Y/N.  Stop before you hurt yourself.” Mr. Jenson lets out a frustrated sigh. “Kyra, would you stand in for Y/N and show her how it’s properly done?”

You’re embarrassed that it’s gotten to this point. What is with you? You’ve done this sequence perfectly with Jimin this past week, hundreds of times at least. Now with the extra dancers on the floor, you seem to be forgetting it all.

Taking soft, shallow breaths is the only thing keeping you from crying in front of everyone. But they wouldn’t notice. All eyes are glued to Kyra, a senior who had also auditioned for the same role as you, as she dances with Jimin.

They dance beautifully, you can’t deny it, even if you want to. You can’t help but wonder if she would’ve been the better choice for the female lead.

“Thank you, Kyra. Everyone back into position now.”

Kyra walks past you and smirks. You know she’s thinking the same thing that you are. She probably also thinks that she’s capable of sweeping in and stealing your position. Like hell if you’re going to let that happen.

Even so, it’s not your decision to make and you know if you keep screwing this up it’s more than likely to happen.

“Hey, are you okay? What’s your deal?” Jimin whispers once he lines up with you again. The last thing you need is for him to make you feel worse for fucking up.

“I don’t know, it’s not a good day for me,” you whisper back as your eyes fill with tears. You’re completely exhausted, defeated, and disappointed.

“Just dance it off, we all get days like this. Follow my lead, okay? I promise I won’t let you mess up again.”

You nod, blinking back your tears. This is a different side of Jimin than you’re used to. He’s caring and knows exactly what to say to make you feel better.

After shaking off the earlier mishaps, you get yourself together and push through practice, making sure that the first official run-through of the program is a total success. It makes you feel a hell of a lot better than two hours earlier. You can tell that the rest of the group is just as ecstatic as you and Jimin are.

“That was great, Y/N!” he says, pulling you into a comforting hug. “See, all you needed was a little reassurance.”

You’re slightly sad when he pulls back, the warmth of his body is no longer felt. “Thank you for today. I would’ve completely fallen apart without you.”

“Hey don’t worry about it, make sure you get some rest this weekend. See you Monday!” He smiles softly and waves bye. Who knew Jimin had more to him than what everyone else saw?

“Hey, Y/N!”

You turn your head and see Madison, one of the upperclassmen who’s also in the show, walking toward you.

“What are you doing tonight? Some of the girls and I are planning on going out to celebrate our first successful run-through of the show. We’re wondering if you’d like to come?” She leans in a little closer, “We have a fake you can use to get into our favorite club, Wander. We’d love for you to let loose with us.”

Usually, you would turn down any interaction that involves alcohol, especially since you’re underage, but you don’t want to disappoint your potential new friends. Plus it does sound like a lot of fun, and after the practice you just had, you deserve to let loose and relax.

“Yeah, totally! I’d love to come.” Madison smiles and you both trade numbers.

“Okay cool, I’ll text you my address later. We’re gonna get ready at mine before we head out. See you later!” She gives you a quick hug before heading out the door.

You’re secretly excited to hang out with the older girls since you don’t have many other friends in your year. Especially not now with all your free time taken up by rehearsals.

Jimin stands outside the dance studio’s side door, slyly eavesdropping. He makes a mental note to accidentally run into you later. He isn’t sure what’s gotten into him, but he doesn’t want to go without seeing you for two days.

You intrigue him, and after your almost-kiss, Jimin wants to know what your lips feel like for real this time, not just what he has been imagining.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks over the pounding music. You have no idea what to ask for; you obviously don’t drink and ordering something from the bar is a little out of your comfort zone since you don’t know what you’re doing.

Madison catches on and takes over. “Five shots of tequila for our group!” she yells while leaning over the bartop so he can hear her.

Oh boy, you don’t know much but you know enough to feel safe assuming tonight will be wild if you’re starting with shots, of all things.

With about a month left until the show, deciding to let loose with the girls is exactly the kind of break you need. Dancing, drinks, and good friends. Looking around, you’re happy to see that you have all three. It’s all a part of tonight’s plan.

What you don’t plan for, however, is seeing Jimin in the middle of the dance floor with Kyra all over him. After practice today, this is a total slap in the face.

You aren’t sure if the progress you’ve been making with Jimin is just one-sided, or if you had been imagining it this whole time. It feels like you’re both taking two steps forward in the right direction and then something like this will happen, sending you ten steps back.

Your eyes are glued to Kyra’s body as she dances with him, her hips moving at the perfect speed. You can’t help but be jealous of her. Not only is she gorgeous and a great dancer, but she also has a way of demanding everyone’s attention in any room she graces. Although, there’s only one person’s attention you want right now, and from what it looks like, you doubt you’ll be getting his anytime soon.

“Oh my god, is that Luca?” Catalina asks with a surprised tone, pointing towards the opposite end of the bar, “No way, it can’t be.”

“It is,” you laugh nervously before looking away. You’re a little worried that he might remember that you’re under the legal drinking age, only by a year, but still. How embarrassing would it be for him to get you kicked out…

“That’ll be $42,” the bartender drones, pushing the over-spilling shot glasses toward your group and happily taking whichever girls’ fifty-dollar bill in return.

You lift your glass along with the others, “Here’s to letting go and having fun!”

The tequila burns the back of your throat but that doesn’t stop you from hollering, “Let’s go dance!”

You pull Madison and Catalina onto the dance floor, coming to an abrupt stop when your back collides with someone., “Oh my gosh, I am so sor–” You pause and stare at the dark-haired man, “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi ladies, I hope you’re not getting into too much trouble tonight,” Luca jokes with a wide smile displayed across his face. He looks gorgeous dressed in all black, the leather jacket tops off his outfit.

“Oh of course not, Mr. Black,” Catalina giggles playfully, “We’re all good girls here.”

He raises his eyebrow which makes each of you giggle, “I’m not so sure about that. Can I buy you all a drink? Or is that a little weird?”

You look around at the girls; they do the same.

“Uh, sure? Madison finally says, breaking up the awkward silence.

Cat and one of her friends entertain Luca’s conversation while they wait at the bar. You slyly peek over your shoulder while dancing, looking for you-know-who. You can’t find him, but you’re happy to see that Kyra has moved on to her next man of the night.

"Hey,” Luca says, walking towards you with an extra drink in hand. “Here you go. Shhh, it’s our little secret,” he says humorously.

You thank him for the drink, nervously swirling the ice with the slim black straw in your cup.

“I’m happy I ran into you,” he begins, “Can I talk to you for a second, alone?”

“Oh, uh, sure!” You nod to Cat, silently saying that you’ll catch up with her later. He smiles and pulls you aside from your friends.

“What’s up?” You ask tensely while Luca grins, running a hand through his hair.

“I just want to tell you how impressed I’ve been with your progress so far, I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you at rehearsals.”

Oh my god.

“Really?” You gape.

“Absolutely,” he reaches for your hand, bringing you closer to him before bending down to plant his lips on yours. You freeze as he kisses you gently, entirely unsure of what to do in that situation.

He quickly pulls back after reading your body language, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Luca,” you say curtly, taking a step back, “I appreciate your tips in class and kind comments, but I think we should keep things professional here. You’re the choreographer and I’m a student...”

“Of course, I apologize again. How about I walk you back to your friends and we forget this happened?”

“That would be perfect.” You’re thankful that things don’t seem too awkward, and you only hope things will stay that way when you see each other Monday morning.

Jimin’s fingernails dig into the flesh of his palms as he clenches his fists. Fucking Luca Black. He was heading your way to say hi, but Luca led you in a different direction than the one your friends are heading to. He should have known better, but he follows behind slowly. And what he sees when he finally turns the corner doesn’t sit right with him.

Luca’s hand on your cheek as the two of you kiss. Jimin isn’t exactly sure who initiated it. And even though it’s eating him alive, he doesn’t want to know because it pains him either way.

He watches as Luca pulls away, and takes note of your stunned face. Jimin wants to believe that was because you didn’t enjoy it. He can’t hear what you’re talking about, and he truly wants to believe that Luca is making you uncomfortable based on your reaction to the kiss. But that hopeful thought is squashed as soon as you smile and take Luca’s hand, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor.

Jimin is still trying to process what he just witnessed even though you’re both long gone. He steps out of the shadows and throws his drink at the wall, ignoring the sound of the glass breaking behind him. Grumbling under his breath, Jimin takes the closest exit and slams the club door behind him.

He heads home with the hopes that a cold shower will ease his rage, but the cool water running down his back isn’t doing much for his boiling blood, nor is it getting rid of the image of Luca’s lips on yours. And inevitably, he can’t get you out of his head either which in turn results in him masturbating to those thoughts of you … which is anything but calming.

Jimin closes his eyes and imagines that it’s him kissing you, not Luca, and that he’s the one who has you pushed up against the wall. He can practically hear your soft whimpers, the ones you make when you’re doing partner stretches that always have him close to losing it right there in front of everyone at rehearsals.

But it isn’t him who’s stretching with you. His length quivers in his hand as he speeds up, trying to change his thoughts to you aroused in the club bathroom, his hand sliding underneath your dress and slipping into your panties. Jimin throws his head back at the image of you getting all worked up, but once again, it isn’t him that’s driving you wild. It’s Luca.

After the fifth attempt and still failing to picture himself with you, Jimin gives up. He groans, looking down at his length’s angry red tip that’s aching for release. And there’s only one thing that will give him that. You.

But not an imaginary you. The real you. The real you wanting him just as much as he wants you. He doubts that you ever will, not when you can have Luca instead.

Meaning that Jimin is basically screwed.

Monday is a killer. Jimin has been hateful to you all morning, and you genuinely have no idea why. He seems to be fuming now at the end of rehearsals, compared to the quiet angry vibe he was giving off earlier this morning.

“Hey, great job today Y/n. You’re doing phenomenal. I can’t wait to see this all come to life next week. See you tomorrow!”

“Thanks! Yes, see you tomorrow Luca.” You wave bye while he rushes out of the room, leaving just you and Jimin behind.

Jimin waits until Luca is out of earshot before saying anything. He’s been annoyed all day by your and Luca’s behavior after witnessing the two of you making out in the hallway of Wander.

He’s disgusted, even more so by the afterthoughts of Luca bringing you back to his place and taking advantage of you. Needless to say, he didn’t sleep much this weekend.

“God, you’re such a suck-up,” he criticizes, failing to hold back his evil words. “How special do you think you’re going to feel when the paid help you’re boning doesn’t remember your name the second he moves on to the next school and finds a new student to seduce?”

“Excuse me?”

“You can pretend all you want but I saw you Friday night. With him.”

Oh god…

You shake your head, “Jimin, I can explain–”

“Whatever, waitlist. I don’t want to hear your excuses.” He turns around and internally grimaces, upsetting you isn’t what he was going for. He’s pissed and unfortunately, you’re the only person he can take it out on. It’s a dick move to say things like that, especially since you deserve to be here just as much as everyone else.

Jimin knows he should just let it go, but he can’t help it. It’s been eating him alive all day. He’s pissed that you’re acting like a damn fool because of Luca’s attention. Luca’s eyes hadn’t left your body the entire day.

Fucking perv.

Jimin is more pissed that it’s bothering him so much. He shouldn’t care, he doesn’t–or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.

Jimin’s words stung, and you’re shaking out of pure anger. “What the fuck is your problem? I can handle the normal stick-up-your-ass behavior but it’s on a whole new level today. Chill out, okay? It isn’t what you think. Nothing happened after he kissed me. Not that it’s any of your goddamn business, but it actually made me, like, super uncomfortable and he apologized directly after. We both agreed it wasn’t professional, so piss off Jimin. And even if I did decide to take it further with Luca, it wouldn’t concern you. So stay out of it.” You’re near him when you finish, with crossed arms and eyes glaring.

It’s unbelievable Jimin would make such a comment; the last thing you need is for him to start telling people what he saw.

You know you would be harshly reprimanded for using a fake ID to get into a club, but also for accepting a drink from someone who is a teacher, and especially for kissing that same teacher.

Jimin is just as heated as you are. So his intuition was right that night. His anger only grows, wanting to punch Luca over and over again for making you uncomfortable like that. How could Luca not tell that you weren’t actually into him, but rather idolized him for his contributions to the dance world? How dare he use that against you to pull a move like that?

“Fine,” he growls in your face, totally furious at the situation, and furious with himself for caring this much about it–about you. You’re driving him crazy, even now when you’re pissed with him. It turns him on how strong and defensive you always are, and fuck, he wants to do something about it.

“Fine,” you snap back, taking another step forward as your eyes subconsciously lower to his parted mouth.

In a matter of milliseconds, your lips collide and your hands are all over each other’s bodies. He lifts you into his arms and slams your back into the mirrors. It’s a miracle that they don’t shatter from his force.

You gasp at the contact and Jimin takes the opportunity to shove his tongue further into your mouth. Your legs lock around his waist while you continue to explore each other’s mouths and bodies ravenously.

Jimin pulls away and tugs your leotard down your arms, freeing your breasts from the tight compression.

“You’re so fucking annoying, do you know that?” He snarls before leaving a line of rough kisses along your neck and down your chest. You whimper at the sensation and run your fingers through his hair.

“You’re so fucking loud, do you always have to say so much?” You moan in response.

Jimin is starved for your taste and can’t wait any longer. His hands travel down your side while his lips close over one of your soft peaks, sucking it in between his teeth.

You mewl, crashing your head back against the glass from the sheer amount of pleasure.

Jimin abruptly pulls away and brings his face back in front of yours. “What? Do you have something to say?” he asks with fire in his eyes. But with his lips replaced by his fingers, twisting and tugging, you’re helplessly tongue-tied.

He moves one hand lower and another soft moan escapes your lips, his middle finger dancing dangerously above your panties before dipping into your slickened folds.

Jimin knows exactly where and how to touch you, causing your head to spin. He feels himself hardening watching your face contort in pleasure, and nearly coming in his pants when you slowly lick your bottom lip, pulling it in between your teeth and letting out a long moan in the process.

“Mmm, Jimin,” you cry, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Jimin notices this and instantly pulls away. You don’t get to come that easily. Even though it makes him super fucking excited to see what his touch does to you. God, this is so much better than what he imagined.

You whimper at the loss of his touch, “What the fuck?”

“Turn around,” he demands, his eyes flooding with lust and a dash of something dark. He undresses you rather quickly, leaving your tights and leotard wrapped around your legs.

You decide you aren’t going to let him have all the fun, sneaking a hand back behind you. Jimin grits his teeth in pleasure as your hand slips into his pants. His length twitches in anticipation of feeling you wrapped around him. You pull his member out and lead him between your damp folds, moaning deliciously at the contact.

The scent of your arousal has now filled the room and Jimin can’t hold back any longer. He wants to fulfill his fantasy of taking you hard and fast, right here in front of the mirror. Without a warning he slams himself into you, causing you to lose your breath.

Your back is against him as he relentlessly pounds you from behind. The force of his thrusts are hard and you use your hands as leverage against the mirror to avoid being crushed by him, even though it would certainly be worth it.

Jimin brings a hand up around your neck and holds your head straight so he can watch when you come. You’re close and he knows just what to do.

“Say my name,” he demands, using his other hand to pinch your clit. “Look at me and say the name of the man who’s making you come like you never have before.”

“Jimin, oh my-” The waves of pleasure wash over your entire body, every inch of your skin tingles. You pulsate around him, but he’s not done with you yet.

“That’s damn right.” Jimin twists you around again, lifting you against the reflective glass. He keeps his fast pace, with a fistful of your hair held between his tightening fingers.

“You’re such a fucking slut. Look at you losing it over my cock,” he snarls with a clenched jaw, “I’m gonna fuck you like this until the rest of the class comes in.”

Jimin rams into you with twice the amount of force as before. “I’d make that fucking Italian bastard watch as I take you hard and make you feel this good.” He brings his lips up to your ear and whispers, “He could never,” before harshly biting your ear, sending you completely over the edge for a second time. 

Jimin watches you unfold, your beauty completely mesmerizes him. Your entire body is on fire from oversensitivity while Jimin’s fingers rub your throbbing nub. You watch, completely hypnotized, as he brings his soaked fingers up to his mouth and sucks them clean.

“Oh, don’t think we’re anywhere near done yet,” he smirks devilishly, moving his thumb back to your clit and rubbing in crude circles. Your eyes squeeze shut at the sensation, and you can’t catch your breath. It’s too much.

Jimin hisses when your fingernails dig into his shoulders. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re so tight right now.” It isn’t long after those words leave his lips that he’s shuddering inside of you, his release shooting into the depths of your heat.

Your insides coil as you reach the peak of your third and final orgasm. Jimin holds your legs steady as you come hard over his cock, and swallows your moans with his mouth.

He slowly retreats out of you and presses his flushed cheek against yours. You can feel his heartbeat thumping out of control while you both catch your breath.

After a moment, he draws back and lowers you to the ground. You both chuckle at the state of your appearance. “I think I have a towel in my bag, one sec.” He says while tucking himself back into his pants as you readjust your hair, trying to make the whole ’i just had sex’ look a little less obvious.

You’re still breathing heavily when he returns to wipe you clean.

“Mmm,” you hum in total satisfaction, and still a little out of it - if you had to be honest. “I should piss you off more often.”

He gives you a look, “Hurry up and get dressed before anyone sees you.”

You’re the one to smirk this time, “I thought you wanted people to see me?”

“Haha, very funny.”

“Hurry up, you’re taking too long,” you whine while Jimin attempts to undo his stage pants as fast as he can.

“I’m trying,” he mutters, silently praying when his zipper finally works, “There we go.”

He lines himself up to you and pushes into your center.

You bite your lip to avoid making any noises as he stretches you out. The two of you are in the small storage closet behind the stage; there’s only about an hour or two until the opening night show starts.

Jimin thought you had to be joking at first when you whispered how badly you needed him after you both were dressed and ready to warm up with the rest of the dancers. But much to his delight, you weren’t kidding.

Hopefully, they won’t notice your absence. Who are you kidding, they probably know that you two are fucking. Plus, it’s kind of obvious when both lead roles go 'missing’ at the same time.

At first, he was torn between following you into the tight space–wanting to be in another tight space–and doing what he normally would call the right thing, which was preparing for tonight. But after seeing the look on your face, Jimin was quick to follow you into the closet.

“Shhh, you need to stay quiet,” Jimin grunts quietly with a hand over your mouth, silencing your moans.

You grip his shoulders as he quickens his pace, bringing you both over the edge.

“Holy fuck,” he quietly whines, the sensation of your inner walls clenching his length is addicting. It isn’t long after your sweet release that he’s quivering. He pulls out, knowing you can’t dance with his release filling you. He shudders one last time, his come shoots out and onto the wooden floor below.

You giggle, “Good thing we’re in a place that can clean that up.” you say referencing his load.

He rolls his eyes at your joke and leans in to give you a quick kiss, “You think you’re so funny, don’t you?”

“Yes, typically.”

You flatten out your costume and zip each other up, leaving the closet one at a time. You first of course, since you needed to touch up your makeup now. Leaving Jimin behind to clean up his mess.

About fifteen minutes later you meet Jimin backstage to practice, stretch, and chat along with everyone else. The jitters are bouncing off of everyone and you can’t stand still from excitement, a little nervousness too. But mostly excitement.

“Jimin, are you feeling okay? You look a little stiff and tired if I must say…” Madam Jamie mentions after watching him practice a few scenes.

“Nothing to worry about Madam, had a tiring warm-up is all. Not to worry though, I am more than ready for tonight.”

Madam Jamie reminds him how important rest and lots of water are when practicing hard before moving along to the next student.

“Hmmm, what is it that you usually tell me?” You begin, giving him a coy look, “Oh right. 'Just dance it off.’ That should fix your issue, correct?” You look down at his crotch, and back up at him with a twinkle in your eyes.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he says, daring you to go on.

“After our vigorous warmup, I’m sure you do. But we’re going on stage soon. So suck it up, sweetie.”

He can’t wait to make you regret that statement when he teases you later tonight. He had big plans to celebrate. And knowing you, you would love them.

©shadowkoo 2024. All rights reserved.

[dceasesd]

Do you pirate comics? And if you do please gimme your piracy site mine isn't working😞

And could you give me asshole Bruce and Jason fic recs but specifically "I'm a selfish controlling man child and I love my family and will go to hell and back for them and will do anything to keep them safe" Bruce not "I'm an unfeeling man child who only cares for his narrow views of justice"Bruce

If you don't have any fics like this specifically I would gladly take any Bruce and Jason fics that doesn't bash either of the characters or their idles

i gotcha man i gotcha

i personally pirate all my comics on readcomiconline.li, which i find by typing the title of the comic and issue im looking for followed by ‘read’. usually it’s the first option!! it might depend on what country you’re in, though— i’m in the u.s. and it works for me but i’ve heard of people from other places having trouble with it :P

(also, be warned, readcomiconline.li has so. many. pop-ups. use at your own risk)

and oh my god i have so many thank u so much for asking i love giving recs so much (under the cut!!!!)

alrighty bruce and jay fics pls enjoy!!!

Clearly Calm and Keeping Terrorized by Batbirdies

this is one of my favorite fics of all time it’s so good!! it’s literally exactly what you’re looking for. i’d recommend reading the entire series for full affect, but a very basic summary of the plot is bruce goes to therapy and tries to unruin his familial relationships :-) this fic focuses on his attempts w jason. so great!

This Place we Built with Grace and Guilt by Cerusee

yeeowch this one hurts!! another one of my favorite authors, definitely also check out the rest of cerusee’s works, they’re great!! if i had to describe this fic in one word it would be GUILT

The Penny Drops, The Penny Dreads by Batbirdies

omg second batbirdies fic on this list they just get bruce and jay like no one else what can i say!!! this is the only wip on this list but it is very good and i can’t wait for more!! jason and bruce trying to figure out how to have a relationship w their contrasting class backgrounds

The Distance Between Us by AutumnHobbit

this is the one i instantly thought of when i saw ur ask— autumnhobbit is so good! bruce is traumatized and trying his best and that’s what matters

the city carries ruin in its hearts by nex_et_nox

outsider pov of bruce and jason’s relationship!! an interesting perspective, jim gordon is a surprisingly fun character to read!!

borderline by TheResurrectionist

this isn’t specifically jason and bruce and more bruce and everyone in the family, but there is some good jason&bruce dynamic. control freak bruce tries to stop being a control freak

Come Alive by captainozone

this is a young justice fic so if you haven’t seen the show you might be a tiny bit confused, but it’s essentially just a ‘jason comes home’ fic!! one of my all time favorites!

THIS ISN’T PUNISHMENT (I LOVE YOU.) by orphenusaki

orphenusaki i love you all your fics are amazing pls never stop writing!! this author is so great so id recommend checking out their other stuff as well, but this one features a long-needed convo between bruce and jason prompted by truth serum.

hope you like these!!!! thanks again for the ask <333 happy reading!!!!

[noowayybroo]

I can't think of a name for this fic.

Hi! It's been a while!

So one of the first Resident Evil fics I read was about Leon saving you from an abusive ex! And I desperately wanted to find more of these!! But I couldn't :( So! I wanted to write one! But before doing that I thought... Leon's a sweet boy - n I heard he had an ex or something before re2?? but maybe I'm wrong?? So what If YOU, dear reader, ran into absolute sweet baby boy Leon (just the one I have in mind but play it however you want if you can) and helped him through a dodgy relationship or breakup?

Characters: Leon Kennedy, Reader

Warnings: Not NSFW. GN reader cuz YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! WHY WOULD I EVER WANT TO EXCLUDE YOU, HUH!?!?!?! No mention of age but faint job and relationship to Leon suggestions. Hurt / Comfort. Please be careful there's gonna be an abusive / manipulative partner mentions but they will be hopefully brief n quiet and the fic will focus mostly on happy Leon at the end!!! Not really a warning but written with dumb GB money n phrases n stuff so sorry if that upsets you XD

"That'll be £5.29, Sir"

"Just 99p, please."

"You want the lucky dip?" ... "Just one?" ... "£3.99 please."

"You know I need to see your ID if you want those, right?"

Another day, another dollar. Another day in this dumb shop, working late shifts for what? For minimum wage and abuse from drunken low-lives. To put it simply, you worked at an understaffed corner-shop, and always had the late shifts, because you always had the time. Same old same old. Time passed slowly, each night felt like a repeat of the last, and all you did was stare at the clock and wait for your shift to end.

Wednesday through Sunday.

Same old?

Same old.

Soft baby-blues, yet just as able to pierce, were not what first earned your attention. Nor was it the silvery blonde hair that fell upon his face in neat locks. Surprisingly, nor was it that face: so soft, so pure... Quite cute. Sweet, maybe?

Ok, stop making assumptions. The young man who's just entered your store alone seems quite flustered, in a rush. Yet you notice how he takes time to establish eye contact with you and give a swift, polite nod, acknowledging you.

You gladly return his gesture and your chest flutters a little as you share a kind smile before he disappears into the rows of aisles. You think to yourself as you watch the man's head bob around the rows of products, no longer able to see his expression. You subconsciously attempt to look a little more presentable. The thing was, customers this late at night weren't usually so polite. They didn't give a damn about whether you were there or not, unless they were trying to steal something. Wait, what time was it again?

10:04

Oh. An hour 'till home time. Great, your feet were killing you. You're shaken from your mundane day-dream as the man strides quickly up to the counter. His hands are full of microwave meals and booze. He reaches the counter long before you're focused and ready to serve him, but waits patiently despite his rush. He hands you his ID, although you'd probably have let him go without it, pays in cash and scrambles to pick his things up again.

"You need a bag?" you ask quietly, feeling almost reluctant to disturb his rush.

"N-nah thanks I got- it's not my money I don't need it-"

"It's on me." you state, soft yet assertive, grabbing his items and shoving them into one of the more expensive carrier bags. You catch him off guard completely. He stands there, frozen, as you pick the rest of his items out of his cradling arms and bag them, before shoving them back to him all packed.

"Wh- T-thanks!" He beams, hesitant. He gives you a wide, genuine smile, nods, and leaves. Just like that, he's gone. Polite, kind customers were so rare that you couldn't blame the tornado of butterflies within your stomach. To think, also, that he was so grateful for one carrier bag, something most patrons would spit on you for not supplying free. Your gaze rests on the sliding door where you last saw him, wondering if you'd ever do so again.

10:07

Uggghhhhhhhhhh....

The next few months come and go. Summer soon becomes Autumn, the nights get longer, the air gets colder and your enthusiasm for this damn job remains absent. Something that did happen, though, was that you saw more of the cordial gentleman from that night. He seemed to have been the only nice customer that came back. That, or, there was something particularly memorable about him...

Gross. Stop it.

Always kind and polite, you loved exchanging smiles with the man as he went about his shopping. You wondered why he'd been so shy.. Or at least, you'd imagined him to be shy, thanks to his timid voice and the way he stole glances at you from above the aisles.

He lets people with fewer items jump ahead of him in line, thanks you extra graciously as he leaves, and sometimes, rarely, makes small-talk with you when it's just the two of you alone. Sometimes, he likes to ask how you are, and, if a customer or your manager has given you a hard time in any way, he hurries over once you're alone to reassure you.

"Don't listen to them, c'mon... What do they know, huh?"

"You're amazing! You're doing your best and that's more than enough!"

"Those jerks don't know how lucky they are to have you!"

On one night, you're helping him pack his bags as he's counting his change to pay you, and you can't help but notice some... markings on his skin. They look like bruises, maybe hickeys? But in strange places. There are some scratches too. Where are those from? You ponder, holding out your hands for his change without thinking. Is he... alright? ...Do those hurt?

You're snatched back to reality by the sound of the change he'd just handed you falling and clattering on the counter and floor around you.

"Shhit - Sorry-", you hiss, going to pick up the coins, but before you can move, he's already shuffled to the side of your counter and is crouching down, picking up each penny with care. He hands them back to you, a little more caring this time in case you'd drop them again. He seems concerned. This time you keep a firm grip on the coins.

"Sorry... Should have brought notes..." He apologises, sincere. "Next time, sorry." No matter how much you tried to reassure him as you counted his change, he kept apologising and cursing himself. You couldn't judge him, but you just wished he wouldn't. It was your mistake, not his. He shouldn't bully himself over your issue. You stand there in silence for a while, handing him his receipt. "Thank you, but are you okay?" he asks, tentatively.

"I'm alright... I just- Are you okay?" You can't help but whisper. You feel terrible, prying about his personal life, but you were just so curious. You were worried for him. His confusion dissolves into a pool of concern as he follows your gaze to his own hands and neck, and he quickly shies away. He looked hurt, as if your stare had wounded him, as if you'd accused him of something. More so, he looked as though you'd uncovered something he'd rather leave hidden.

He does his best to assure you, swearing up and down that he's alright. He tells you he does a lot of training for his job, which made some sense with his figure, and that sometimes things can get a little rough. You didn't completely buy it, but he was gone just as quickly as he'd come - signing off with a polite nod and a 'good night' and disappearing into the cold.

Worsening your suspicions, the next time you saw your favourite customer, he was even worse for wear. His hair was tussled and messy and his features a little more scratched up and grizzly. Worst of all, this time, that lovely smile of his just felt fake - empty. It was as though he smiled for you, to show you something that wasn't really there. You greet each other. You make small-talk. As soon as he notices that his scars are visible, he takes off.

The next time you'd seen him was midnight. You'd been instructed to close the shop early after waiting for a co-worker who'd never turned up to take the next shift. The rain splashes down around you as you grumble to yourself, fiddling with the flimsy lock on the shop's door. You'd put down the metal shutters, turned off all the lights and closed up. Your priority at this time was simply to get home. You were tired, stressed and quickly becoming soaked through. All you wanted was to get home, kick off your really-painful-right-now shoes and-

...hear loud footsteps approaching you from behind.

Running.

Running?

Running towards you?

You turn quickly, heart racing, only to be met face-to-face with a really, really desperate looking gentle-customer. He greets you, panting, exhausted.

He tells you he's confused; he thought your shop was 24/7. You explain the situation to his sympathetic ears as you both stand there, equally soggy and dripping beneath the falling rain. You stand with him in silence, letting the downpour claim you as he catches his breath (or works up his confidence.)

"Did you need something?" You help him. He's hesitant, but you know he ran for a reason. Your eyes grasp his as you stand together, looking like fools on the corner of a dimly lit street.

"It- it's... I didn't want to have to ask you but could I PLEASE buy something I really really need it I'm so sorry I'll pay you extra I'll-" You cut him off, already opening the shop back up. He needed your help and you weren't about to deny him it for any reason, not since he'd been so kind to you.

You both hurry into the shop, setting up the till whilst he gathers what he needs, and then it's time to check him out and leave. He follows you out as you lower the shutters the rest of the way and lock up once more, and you wonder to yourself as you do so why he hasn't left yet. Looking up at him from your hunched over position, you see him watching you eagerly. He seems to want to say something, probably to thank you or say goodbye, but most likely feels it might be rude or abrupt.

"Thank you... Thank you very much." his voice echoes beside you in the empty street. Vivid street lights shine down on the both of you, cool colours complimenting the cold air prickling your skin. When your eyes meet, he shoots you a soft smile. You dread a 'goodbye'. You're certain it's coming. "Listen... it's really cold out.. and the rain-"

"Yeah, I know... Is this where we say goodbye for the nigh-"

"Do you want a lift?" the man interrupts you suddenly. His voice is all too timid, but he does his best to speak up over you before you mention parting ways. He doesn't think he could hear that right now.

Not that you'd know, but something about your kindness and generosity to him was affecting him in a way it shouldn't have, considering that he was in a relationship. Swiftly, the man spots your discomfort and surprise, and quickly chimes in, "My name's Leon, by the way, Leon Kennedy-", There's a long pause, "Sorry... I thought it'd... You should know that at least... Before you even think of getting in my car-"

"Are you sure?" It was your turn to cut him off this time, call it payback.. or something. In reality, your excitement just got the better of you. You wanted to speak with him, get to know him, and this would be the perfect chance!

I mean, of course, there was stranger danger, but look at him! He's harmless! Lil' (big) guy couldn't hurt a fly! Besides, by now, you felt like you knew him, at least a little. The rain poured down, soaking through you, and you didn't live far so you were sure it wouldn't be too out of his way...

"I know it's weird and sudden, I was just wondering, you don't have to..." Come on, he had to be nervous with this amount of babbling.

"Of course I'd be very grateful, thank you." You ease him, earning a relieved and somewhat excited look from him as he quickly shows you to his car which is only a few meters away. Leon juggles his shopping whilst helping you into the front before storing what he's bought in the boot. You let him know where you live, to which he gives a happy nod and an 'ah!', and finally, you're on your way. Homebound at last.

You and Leon make great conversation on your way home. Almost like a dream. You hadn't spoken to him more than five minutes in one go before, and yet it felt like you were the closest of friends. He liked your music, he was inspired by your hobbies. Your dress sense enthralled him, and he always complimented you and piped up in disagreement whenever you put yourself down. On the short drive, he really opened up to you, and, by the time you were clambering out of his front seat, he was entirely cool and collected... and slightly attractive. You didn't read that.

As you lean through the window to give him one last thanks, you bump your head on the window frame. Tender laughs and giggles were shared, before he disappeared into the night. You stumble home and fall asleep in much a better mood than you would have been in should he not have shown up. He probably had no idea, you thought, but Leon saved your day. You'd have been moody, sore and disgruntled all over, but thanks to him, you slept easy and you dreamt happy.

You wondered how he'd be sleeping that night.

That was the last time you'd seen Mister Kennedy for quite some time. Moreover, the next time you did, he was not alone at all. Someone who you could only imagine to be his partner clung to his arm as they sauntered into the shop beside him. You weren't one to judge, especially not a book by its cover, but this new face simply exuded possessiveness. Ok, alright, he has a partner. That's not so bad-

Your heart cracks a little when Leon doesn't even look your way upon entering the shop. You imagine he always did, to check who was there, but this time he seemed to know you'd be there, and seemed un-phased. Alright, this is okay too. He can't be making eyes at me and getting all friendly with a special someone around. You watch as he's paraded around the shop by his presumed partner, who is certainly making evil eyes at you. They speak loudly at him, make him carry everything and overall just seem like bad news.

Quite frankly, it pisses you off.

Leon stays quiet as they walk around, occasionally replying to his accomplice, and even when it's time to pay, which they make him do, he doesn't look at you. Could he be ashamed, maybe? Maybe he was upset at you. Or maybe... No, did this person have an issue with him just speaking to people? That wasn't very cool at all, to put it all too lightly.

You tried not to let it affect you, you really did, but when the next few times you saw Leon that month and he had them glued to his shoulder, you felt your joy and confidence being eroded with force. Each time, you'd get no input or interaction from Leon, and his lovely, charming personality seemed to be a distant memory. From his partner, which you were now sure of, given that they'd made a point of kissing him in front of you, you received the lot. This included glares, snide comments and even a service complaint which fortunately your manager did not buy.

His silent visits left you alone with your thoughts, and it was agonising. Your mind wandered as you watched him, actively dodging glares from his partner. You didn't like the way they looked at you, a stranger, when really, what did they have to dislike about you? You didn't like the way they held him so close, pulling him in like he'd run if he had the chance. Well, would he? You didn't like how he never smiled around them. You missed that smile, so so much, but with his partner, he seemed scared to show it. Why was that?

Left to stew in your thoughts, you learned to hate a stranger pretty easily. In fact, you felt a formidable rage as you trudged home in the cold air that day. Your mind was clouded with chores and responsibilities, and everything you'd have to get done. Worst of all, you were obsessed with a stranger, and with uncovering his life, and really, you felt pathetic and stupid for being as such. You felt ready to give up, as though you had to. You felt hopeless. Whatever was happening to Leon was none of your business, and at this point, what could you do? What should you do?

You'd probably never even see him alone again, and if you tried to speak to him, what would you say? Would he listen? would he care?

But there he was, in front of you: a perfect mirage, turning onto your street, a block ahead. You can't believe your eyes, especially with the distance between you and the darkness of the night. Your legs, however, didn't doubt for a minute, and you found yourself running towards him. You did your best to silence your feet, but he still heard you, and turned to check out the noise. You slow to a sane pace before walking beside him, catching your breath. Thankfully, he seemed somewhat relieved. 'At least you weren't some armed mugger', or something, probably.

This was your chance. You were beside him now, walking, and he hadn't run, or shouted obscenities at you. And even better - he was alone. He looked rough, bags hung under his eyes and he was certainly due a shower, not that you minded at all. You knew that was (despite the cold shoulder) just as caring, considerate and kind under it all. Selfishly, really, you just wanted to see him smile. Fearing he'd be home and out of your clutches soon, you break the ice.

"Leon... I've been meaning to speak to you for a while, how are you?" You try your best to sound chirpy and bright, still trying to encourage some joy from him, but he seems tired, weary as he glances back at you.

"I've been great, thanks." He replies, but without a smile, you see straight through his lie. He wants to change the subject, to push something else. "Look, I'm really really sorry for ignoring you recently. I didn't mean to. It's just my.. You know, my special someone. A bit insecure, nothing really, just have to keep quiet with other people while they're around."

Suspicions confirmed. That was his partner and he was expected not to speak to you. His sugar-coating does not serve him at all, it merely lines your heart with lead, and you press the conversation further in an attempt to distract yourself as it sinks.

"I was... actually thinking about that lately. Look, I just think... I don't know how to say this but-"

"How are you, by the way? I'm sorry I didn't ask... I hope you didn't think me running you home was odd-", Leon cuts you off quickly. He seems to not want to speak about any of this at all. He seems to know precisely where you're going. If you didn't see the hurt in his body and hear it in his voice, you might get mad, but now all you feel is sorrow for him.

"Leon, I'm... Actually, no. I'm not alright. I need to speak to you. We're friends, right? Can you answer me some stuff? I'm just curious. Like.. Your partner... how long have you guys...?" Leon swallows thickly and drags his blown pupils from the ground to focus on you. He looks guilty, he seems reluctant. But, luckily for you, he seems to think he owes you. Furthermore, hearing you're not ok has seemed to panic him a little.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry yeah so... We've been together for a few months now. They're great honestly, love of my life, all that. Childhood sweethearts. Just got a few insecurities, having a hard time finding themselves, so if it's best if I give them my attention." He sounded so kind and attentive speaking about his partner in such a hushed whisper. Maybe what he was saying was all honest and true, but something just didn't sound right. It didn't feel good-natured. Partners can be insecure, it's alright, but stopping him from speaking to others? Meanwhile, your eyes wander, dragging your mind with them.

"And Leon, what about those marks on you? Is your partner responsible for those? Did you do-", You stop when you see Leon clench his fists. He seems uncomfortable, his hair falling into his face, hiding his flinching eyes. You've hit a nerve, and instantly you feel guilty and regret your actions. Leon starts to walk a little faster, but you feel like if you're going to get anywhere with him you can't let him escape, not this time. As you pass a bench, you gently place your hands on his arms, gripping him. The gentle giant he is, he stops quickly, and allows you to drag him down to sit with you.

"I'm not sure why it matters... But fine, if.. if we're friends we can chat like friends, right? Confidential, and stuff.." He trails off and looks away for a while, before picking up the subject again, but not to deny it, "They can just get a bit clingy. Not to worry, not their fault. Sometimes when we're doing things they just go a bit far, or you know, they make mistakes, accidents. Anger issues, sort of thing but-" Leon was about to insist that you drop it now or not tell anybody about this but you're not having it.

"Leon stop and listen to me, please. I know this is insane, but it's not right, okay??? None of this is right. None of this is correct. Have you been in a relationship before now?" Leon stares at you, his eyes wide, and the lump in his throat jumps once more as he finds himself unable to reply for a while. He's surprised by your boldness. He's amazed by how you've shifted from so calm, funny and cool to this. Now, you seem furious. He imagines you gripping the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes in disappointment if you weren't holding him in place.

His mind struggles to articulate a plan for his words and actions. Just as he's about to really panic though, a thought at the back of his head hits the nail- you're worried about him. You're worried for him. His face softens and he eases up a bit, looking concerned himself. Leon lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes, clenching his jaw and licking his top lip. And then, he moves a little to let your hands slide down his arms. He takes your hands in his and looks into your eyes.

"Thank you." He murmurs. "I understand what you're saying." Silence feels between the two of you, in which you both wonder what the other is thinking. And then, he answers your question. "They're my first. I haven't had anybody before." He sounds shy, almost stammering. Something within him seems ashamed. Does he think it's emasculating to have had few partners at his age? Or is he embarrassed at letting this happen to him? You recognise his struggle, and grip his hands reassuringly. You want him to feel safe. You want him to be happy.

"I get it, Leon. But please, listen to me when I tell you, It's not like that in the real world, alright?" you notice his gaze drift a little so you lean in to recapture his attention. "The person you love doesn't hit you. They don't berate you or put you down. They love you just as much as you love them. They look after you, and they want you to be happy. And they understand that you have social needs and things, and they let you fulfil them. Do you understand me?" Your voice is sweet yet firm. You don't intend to let him go without drilling this mindset into him. At least, you're going to give it your best shot.

You've called him out. You've summed him up. Not only is he fragile but he's exposed. Leon feels feeble, pathetic. He feels as though not only is he weak and unable to help himself, but as though he just exudes this image of himself. He's barely spoken to you, and now you know just how pitiful he is. He felt disgusting.

Meanwhile, you babble on as he stares straight past you, lost in a replay of the last few months of his life. He thought about the comments they'd made to him over time, the things they'd done and said, the things they'd asked or demanded of him. He thought about the horrible things they made him feel about himself.

And then he thought about you.

A stranger on a park bench, late at night, holding his hands and reassuring him. Trying to get him to see just how much he was missing out on. Not only that but you chatted away before him, and he wondered if it was the faint semblance of vanity he had left within him, or if you actually cared. He felt right, holding your hand. He felt safe and he felt respected. He zones back in, staring into your eyes as you finish your rant.

"I do understand, yes." he replies, voice low and thick. "Thank you for everything."

"I have something else to say."

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"I haven't known you long, Leon. But you seem like a really, really good guy. You don't deserve to be roughed around by anyone. You don't deserve to be insulted, or belittled. I don't know your living situation. No idea who pays the bills, but Leon. There's people out there who'd love the hell outta you and never place a finger on you unless you wanted them to, and even then it'd be because they love you, you hear?" Leon nods slowly, obediently as you speak, soaking in your words like a sponge.

"I never asked you for your name..." He rasps, once again, his mind seems to have drifted somewhat, but you understand. It's a horrible, touchy subject, and you're lucky he's put up with staying with you here in the dark. He could have up and left ages ago, you couldn't blame his brain for trying to avoid something so horrible. You sigh, how could you resist him? Reluctantly you give him your name, and earn your first smile from him in what seems to be an eternity. He squeezes your hands softly and shifts a little before looking at you very closely.

"Y/N. Please tell me. Do you think I should leave them?"

Jesus Christ. How do you answer that one?

"I know you just want my opinion, and that you might not do what I say, and that's perfectly fine," you say quietly, moving one hand to grip his shoulder supportively. You'd love to cup his face but that's far too tender. Far too intimate. "But, if they hurt you. if they upset you. If you feel used or disrespected or unloved, they are not for you. You've got tons of time left and you will find someone who loves you, if that's what you're looking for. Nothing this lowlife has taken from you or done to you can get in the way of that, alright?" You chuckle nervously as such a harsh set of words leaves you, but you go quiet when you see Leon's lips twitch.

He seems to be trying to smile, or to fight one back, you're not sure. His eyes appear watery, and his face sunken. He looks like he needs to rest. Then, he looks at you, you can tell he's about to change the subject.

"Thank you, wait. I want to do something before I forget. Could I please have your number, is that alright?"

"What for? Are you sure it's okay?" Leon freezes for a while, staring forward just as he's shuffling through his pockets to find his phone. It's not until the cold air hits your hand that you realise just how lovely his touch was. Leon looks back at you with feigned yet ignited bravery as he unlocks and begins to navigate his phone.

"I'm not going to let them stop me speaking to people anymore." You beam, wide and genuine, so glad to hear those words. For once, he's declaring his strength. He's fighting back. Leon can't help but join your smile as his eyes twinkle beneath the street lamps above. On the verge of tears, he smiles widely back at you. You exchange numbers gladly, and he calls you there and then just to make sure, as if afraid you're lying.

He makes his way home via yours, walking and talking with you and seeing you to your door. Such a gentleman, you think, even though he isn't yours. And to think his 'reward' is what it is. It horrifies you.

The tension is thick as you stand at your door, both swaying slightly as you stand together, exhausted. You conclude your conversation about work, everyday life, hobbies and things, and Leon watches you for a while, flinching a little as he thinks.

Unexpectedly, he pulls you in for a gentle hug. Nothing intimate, nothing over the top. In fact, he seemed almost scared to do it.

"Thank you. You've been so good to me." He whispers as he pulls away. You reassure him it was the least you could do, and jokingly bump him on the shoulder, spewing out something along the lines of 'you better make good on what I said' in the process. He flashes you another smile before watching you head indoors and returning home himself.

You hadn't heard from Leon in an entire week until a familiar pair of eyes creased and smiled at you from the entrance to your shop. That bell had never sounded better, orchestrating his presence. Your friend smiles at you and goes about his shopping, and, ringing him up, you can't help but notice the lack of his usual shopping habits before you. There was no cheap cider, there was no wine. There certainly weren't any ready-meals, just fresh foods, and an expensive whiskey.

You raise an eyebrow at him, and he quickly smirks at you, seeming proud of himself.

"I like to cook. And besides, I thought I'd celebrate." You knew exactly what that meant. He was providing for himself now, living how he wanted to. He must have finally spread his wings and escaped. You can't help but beam, entirely in awe. You want to be certain though, as you look at his refreshed face. He seems to have had a burden and a half lifted from him.

"Does this mean what I think it does, Leon?"

"It certainly does." He chuckles before leaning in and giving you a mock-serious tone, "And you better have been right about those tonnes of people being after me... I'll be waiting for them." He sounds confident, he sounds mischievous and playful. He sounds like a new man, but with that same inner sweetness. He pays for his things, and gives you extra for that bag from months ago. Watching him leave, you made a mental note: That memory was just one more on the list of 'sharp' things that made up Leon Kennedy.

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HI I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKED THIS!!! IT WAS REALLY HARD TO WRITE CUZ IT WAS SUPER EMOTIONAL AND THINGS BUT I SO SO HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT OR IT HELPED YOU IN SOME WAY. I really felt quite deep writing this (to put it lightly) and I hope the story can mean as much to you, especially those of you from America etc who have to put up with my weird spellings and mannerisms. Anyway, I hope this is alright for you, and thanks a billion for all of your support, ever!!!

I'm sorry if this one hit a nerve or two, I really hope nobody was upset or offended.

[rose022]

hi~ im rose! (among other names lol, ask for them or find them) welcome to my intro!

- dont feel bad about blocking or unfollowing me, just wanna say this. i may make posts abt being confused when i see people leave but curate ur own experience idc be happy

- you can call me whatever you want idc, just lemme know. like genuinely any nickname. i do have others tbh but ehh

- yeah yeah im an adult so dont block me if i like ur post and u say mdni ight? also for any minors if that makes u uncomfortable u can leave. i dont tend to post anything nsfw here, just sometimes suggestive stuff and both nsfw and suggestive are tagged just like that

- pronouns are whatever is funniest in the moment. or just use your own. neos are ok

- asks and dms always open for anything. i won't really reach out first but i promise you can always talk to me about anything. if you don't have anyone else or just want to talk about a particular thing or want to vent, etc. like genuinely pretty please talk to me about your interests i will gladly listen!!! <3

- also you can always tag me in anything!! i love tag games (i may take a bit) and if theres anything you think id like or reminds you of me id love to see it!!

- don't really have a dni but like i will block you if you're a bigot. im a fag and autistic if you don't like that go away idc. also if you are pro cop or military stuff fuck off

- if we're mutuals please tag stuff with cw rose for anything with touya or akito being shipped with anyone else or TBHK nene and tsukasa as a ship, self harm images, stuff about spiders (or any bugs kinda) mostly pictures of them or them on someone (bees moths and butterflies exempt), needles if theyre detailed not cartoony, real life gore of animals or humans (not sfx or art just real stuff), sa, stuff about veins, and please use tone tags but mostly just for joking or sarcasm as i tend to assume everything is serious.

- MUTUALS PLEASE TELL ME STUFF TO TAG FOR YOU!!! i do my best to read carrds and intros and stuff but i might forget please remind me please. gore and sexual stuff will get tagged as gore and nsfw but it's mostly explicit stuff. things are tagged as what it is, not with cw or tw.

- !!current things i tag are homestuck, eye strain, saiouma, bsd, religion (marlo dont look), elie shoo (csm saiouma gore), suggestive (anything relating to anything nsfw like jokes or anything else), adrien no look (alcohol, crickets, girl interrupted, hospital innuendos clowns, child death, natural disasters), deco 27, emetophobia

- tags

#rose rambles - my posts

#rose tagged ramblings - i made a separate one for when i talk a lot in tags

#rose art - quite simply rose's art

#rose ocs - the sillies from my brain

#ask rose! - asks

#rose pics - look i don't get creative with naming these i think you can tell

#rose cosplay - ^^^ yeah

#helpful - things that could be helpful to anyone

#save - similar to above but more so personal things

#important - maybe not technically helpful but i think people should see

#favs - self explanatory, i believe

#sillies - similar to above but not really

#luv - mutual appreciation mostly

#heart! - things made by mutuals!

#liebe - things made for me!

#mecore - woah thats so me frfr

#rose writing - idk man take a guess

#für das rose - submissions aka post limit

favfavs - fav art or fandom things

(i wanna like fix all my posts to have tags but i reblog so much and itll take me a million years to get back to the start of my account atp. maybe one day.)

- commission info

art:

writing: $2 per 100 words (?)

i also take requests for these!! or other stuff but like it will almost definitely take me a bajillion years to finish so if you wanna make sure i do something, gimme money. but u dont gotta its ok ily anyways

i have a k-fi rose226 and dm for p-ypal

- sideblogs

@nightcord-luka-official

@luka-spotted most active

@daily-akiyama-mizuki hiatus!

@daily-asahina-mafuyu hiatus!

@kokomi-sangonomiya-official

@mafuyu-asahina-official

@wansho-luka-official

@junior-high-enanan-official

@fischl-official

@rosemusictime lol no followers

@oz-the-bird-official (to translate my Fischl)

@ako-udagawa-official this and above in progress

@daily-purple-character send reqs

@rose-poll-account

@aoi-shirosaki-official pjsk oc rp blog

@hikari-itsuki-official ^

@yuki-jigoku-official ^

@kei-makura-official ^

@roseswonderland things i make

@yuki-spotted

@niigo-va-updates

(i may remove u as a follower depending on if i trust you enough for these next few but if we're mutuals ur pretty much safe)

@moonlit-thoughts22 vent

@selfless-lvr selfship/kin

@softrosebud agere

@shhh-its-rose moots only ig. random idk

@eros-engel who needs secrecy anymore. fuck it. nsfw blog.

(guys i think I have too many sideblogs help)

im not active on many other social media but if we're mutuals you can ask for like anything and ill probably have an account. somehow im most active here tho (and in one discord server but u guys cant join)

[bellyyearner]

Not a horny post

Holding my hands like a foot from my gut and acting like I'm jiggling my belly when in reality I'm gripping nothing is as hot as it's always been. Like just the thought that eventually I could be that size, my tummy is growling with desire just imagining it.

I love being fat, it's fucking great, and I remember this post on here(I forget who it was by) but it boiled down to "you need to be ok being fat on your own, outside validation won't always be there, a partner could leave you, you could leave, or they could unfortunately pass away". 100% agree, you need to be 100% ok and fulfilled in your own skin.

The only part of this idea that is uncomfy is that for those of us that wanna be massive it's such a huge commitment and you'd hope that mutual commitment between you and your partner would last forever. Like the only reason I lost weight (and still losing weight 375 -> 310) is because I wanna gain for my partner, I wanna have that experience last as long as possible. Their love being added to my hips is a lovely idea. But realistically 500ish lbs is a good limit for my height at 6'3" if I was married to them, if I was married for like a decade with that person then that's a different story and my limit would be *their* limit. Id maybe go to 400ish before a marriage proposal

But as for actively gaining outside of a committed relationship, it's a tricky question. I'd love nothing more than to be a massive fatty, smoking weed and indulging often. Id gladly stuff myself during the dating phase and indulge, but id still be heading to the gym often though. Because realistically I gotta focus on my EMS career and build a future that's potentially a solo future, cause for me I doubt I could have a long term relationship without feedism. I don't need to be actively gaining but I'd need to have the love for fat be apparent. It's an integral part of who I am and has been for as long as I can remember. From being a kid adding playdough to my legos to make them fat, rewatching cartoon episodes centered around weight gain over and over, finding deviantart wayyy too early and reading stories for hours, my eyes lingering on fat people too long, all the way to finally getting on Tumblr a few years ago. I don't know how or why it started but for as far back as my memory goes, fat has been a centerpiece of it.

I'm not 100% sure where I expected this post to go, it's more of a diary entry than anything ig, but I'd find it hard to believe I'm alone in these sentiments. The world we live in isn't built for fat people, let alone massively fat people. From societal expectations to architecture it just seems like fat people were not considered.

Anyways I'ma shut up cause I'm rambling. TLDR I love being fat and hope with all of my being that I can find a life partner that is just as obsessed with fat as I have always been

[sheetzking]

♛Commission info! (Open)

this is where ill describe pricing and what i will/wont do! ill also reblog this whenever im opening comms up !!

♛ 1/2 slots open

first of all, i thought id branch out to Tumblr since i feel like im alot more comfortable on this site now, but i probably wont be opening these up that often yet, they might be available more on my Toyhouse if you were also on there since im way more active on that site :)

ill also be linking that for more art examples (my page is viewable for anyone,so feel free to browse if you need to!)

The prices below are for polished and fully coloured pieces only! if you are looking for something less pricey, i have pwyw (pay what you want) commissions also! just message me about it with the price ^^ (E.g. im interested in your PWYW commissions, i have ___ , what will that get me?)

♛

PRICES

£6 Chibi: small, compact bodies, i only do fullbodies of these since they are small and relatively lower effort.

£8 Headshots/Busts: top of the torso to the head, normally used as icons/pfps

£13 Halfbody: top half of the body (pretty self explanatory LMAO)

£18 Fullbody: All of the body, these will probably take longer than the rest since it will be more work

£21 Chibi+Fullbody page: 1 piece with atleast 3 chibis and 1 fullbody, normally with some props relating to the character to give it more...pizazz??

£23 Animated icon: animated headshot that blinks and moves their mouth (speaking,smiling,frowning,etc.) this would,obviously,take longer, especially depending on design+ whats happening in the animation

All backgrounds are free! if you want a specific background (or no background at all) let me know beforehand!

Any extra characters (in the same piece) is +£5

I have no turnaround time (sorry) but the most amount of time you could expect is...probably a month,if it isnt, i will let you know immediately!

i also have more options on my toyhouse commissions, if you wanted something specifically from that list, message or ask me :)

♛

WHAT I WILL/WONT DO

I WILL DRAW:

-SFW content

-Humanoids (any gender or appearance, animal features.etc)

-Anthro characters (im not the best at these,tbh. but ill obviously do my best!)

-Suggestive content (of humanoids only)

-Ponies

-Fanart

-Oc content (including self inserts, oc x canon, etc.)

I WILL NOT DRAW:

-NSFW/Explicit content

-Feral (anything like realistic animals, stuff like warrior cats, im just terrible at it sorry lol)

-Hateful or malicious content towards anyone or anything

-Proship/incest/anything that is illegal. i will never do anything like this.

♛

METHOD OF PAYMENT

i use paypal only! all my prices are in GBP, please be aware of this before purchasing from me :)

i will send the link to my paypal through messages AFTER i confirm the sketch is to your liking, no holds or negotiations!

♛

TERMS OF SERVICE/TOS:

-You can use my art as icons/pfps/banners, but you must credit me.

-do not repost my art to other websites without my permission.

-do not use my art for commercial use! never use my art to sell a product or to use it for profit.

-do not use my art for AI or nft purposes. do not steal my content.

-i have the right to refuse any offers, please respect that!

-i do not accept refunds, but if the art is not to your liking,i will gladly change anything about it!

♛

EXTRA INFORMATION

Thank you for reading this far and thank you for your interest,im still figuring alot of things out but i want to try harder and improve my skills! please dont feel obligated to reblog or commission me :)

im also open to art trades! feel free to ask about those,id love to get some art of my ocs :)

i highly reccomend looking through my art examples on toyhouse if you are seriously considering buying from me or trading with me! <3

sorry if i made any mistakes here! im not good with words ...

[stevie-petey]

I know your inbox is probably full but if it's alright I'd like to send a lil something something in.

Could we see a little blurb about the sleepovers between Jonathan and reader? Like them hanging out together, asking stupid hypotheticals, reading comics, stuff like that?

" okay but if one day you turn around and I'm just a horse, what would you do?"

" why would you be a horse?"

" why are you dodging the question?!"

pls never hesitate to send me stuff my dear !! i will always gladly answer so no apology needed <3

i LOVE this blurb request and im kinda bummed i cant squeeze in sleepovers due to plot so this is purely self indulgent and i so hope u enjoy <3

“pssst bee.” you shouldve been asleep hours ago.

a sigh. “bug—”

“psssssssssst,”

“bug im so tired—”

“pssssssssssssssssssst,”

jonathan flings up from the beanbag. “okay. fine. im up. yes, what do you need?”

“what would you do if one day you turned around and i was a horse?”

you cant see his face too clearly in the moonlight, but you swear you see jonathans eye twitch. “when i agreed to sleepover—”

“you invited yourself, actually.”

“i thought we’d be asleep by like two. max. it’s now four in the morning and im about to cry from exhaustion.”

you scoff at him. “weak. weve stayed up later before.”

“sure, but we’re supposed to be up in like three hours for school and—”

“why are you dodging the question, jonathan?”

he sighs again, knowing he cant do anything else but play along. as if he’d want to do anything else. he had only been complaining to get you to roll your eyes at him and use that mock stern voice that always makes him smile.

“if you suddenly became a horse, i would feed you the best apples around.”

you rest a hand against your heart, oddly touched. “youd really do that?”

“of course.”

“aww. see, now i feel bad for keeping you up—”

“that way i can then hop on your back and make you take me everywhere. can you imagine how much money id save on gas?”

you hear, rather than see, your pillow collide against jonathans face.

giggles erupt in the room afterwards. theres no doubt youre both deliriously tired and will regret staying up so late once morning comes, but for now youre so happy you could melt into your blankets and float away.

“can i sleepover tomorrow, too?” jonathan asks, his voice laced with sleep and warmth.

you hum, your eyes drooping as you roll over and get comfortable in bed. “of course, dummy.”

“cool.”

“goodnight, bee.”

“goodnight, bug.”

[tirasamu]

mai!!!! I saw in one of your recent asks you said you feel awkward on here and I totally understand BUT I just wanna say I love you, your blog, and any writing you post. the vibes you give off are so soft and warm and I just want to wrap you in a blanket and give you hot chocolate with a mountain of marshmallows and keep you cozy at all times yknow???

i mentioned before (anon that remembers nagicore! hihi!) that I was so happy I found your new blog and to be reunited with one of my fav writers! I mean it! I do be checking your blog regularly. this is such a little safe space you’ve curated! (also I saw someone shared links to your old writing and I was so happy I have a place to reread! I die for sunny side up everytime btw) also I am beyond happy to see that your posting everywhere, everything bc I loved it so much! don’t want you to feel pressured to write tho! please take your time. I will be waiting patiently for literally anything you write haha

Anyways enough about then, let’s move on to now! I hope school is going well!! and what you said about your industry switch?? I’m so happy to hear! seeing people find what they love and where they belong (at least something close to it) is always so comforting! wishing you all the best, and sending so much love, hugs and good vibes! —🪽

omg its u again !! my og nonnie 🥹 or i guess i should call u angel nonnie now !! its so funny im using the same pfp i did back then too, koala nagi will forever be on my blog

reading this on my period was a mistake because one paragraph in and my eyes are watery :< my heart grows a little bigger every time someone calls my blog their safe space. i think everyone feels kinda off on here sometimes but getting asks like this make me feel so so grateful i keep coming back T^T i love YOU so much and im so beyond happy that i can give u a little escape <33 i’ll gladly take that hot cocoa but only if u let me bake u something in return and then we share it together

OMG SUNNY SIDE UP !!! I CANT BELIEVE U REMEMBER IT TITLE AND ALL theres like a handful of old fics id love to rewrite and thats def one of them !! but pls dw i dont feel rushed by u at all i promise, i actually feel kinda motivated now !! almost all of my free time lately has gone to drawing or hsr but i miss writing like i used to :<

thank u so so much !! im so excited ab it too, its something i had on my mind for a little while and i was so nervous ab it but everyone irl has been so supportive ab it w me. its going to be a lot of work so im taking a little break before diving back into school all over again but im so so happy w my decision !! i hope everything has been going okay w u too and u’ve been taking good care of urself and getting lots of rest <333

i love u w all of my heart, thank u so much for stopping by just to be so kind 🫂🤍 i rlly do mean it when i say stuff like this means the world to me and i never ever forget it

[duckwithablog]

Dear Duck, I hope this ask finds you in good health.

Regarding Shadow, yeah I’m definitely a sucker for grumpy characters with depth 😂. Other than Shadow, I love Rouge and Chaos. Prime is giving Rouge attention, and it makes me so happy :))

I never heard of Ian Jr until now… but my eyes has been opened now. I-I have found the enlightenment Wukong has been searching for. He’s…He’s just so silly! 🤩 Definitely blorbo quality. I must pat his head and stuff him in my pocket- Also, Knuckles is such a valid choice. You know da wae *nods* *click click click*. Lastly, I think we can both agree that Chaos needs more love. He’s just a sweetheart protecting the chao. We must protecc at all cost.

To answer your questions….I had a Sonic phase as a kid so get ready:

The only Sonic games I’ve played were Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic Generations, Sonic and the Black Knight, and Mario + Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games. HOWEVER, I’ve watched people play all of the other games (except frontier). Out of all those games, Sonic Generations is probably my favorite. In terms of shows, Sonic X is my favorite for nostalgic reasons. I’ve only just started reading the comics.

Ngl… I could probably go all day talking about my interests 🤣.

When did you start enjoying the Sonic franchise? For me it was around 7 years ago when I actually got into it.

-🍑 anon

FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO ANSWERING THIS ASK YIPPEE

Fuck yeah, Rouge Appreciation! Good to see SEGA supportign womens rights AND womens wrongs <33

Yes... Im so glad ur finally seeing the light (Ian Jr). AND KNUCKLES <333 OUGHH HES SO SO SILLY I LOVE HIM SM!!! Chaos is honestly p underrated. Dude is a water blob, how can u not love them?

Yes, they may have genocided Knuckles's ancestors. But like. Erm. Theyre blorbo. So!!

YOOOO u fr a bonafide sonic fan!! Unfortunately, the only game ive ever played is frontiers and ive only gotten that recently,, Not sure if i mentioned that before lmao. I think I'm nearing the end of Archie Sonic, as in I'm getting close to the Super Genesis Wave aka the Reboot. Which happened bcs of... HIM.....

But whatevs!

RAHHH RAMBLE ABT UR INTERESTS TO ME ANYTIME YOU WANT!!! I LOVE HEARING PPL TALKING ABT WHAT THEY LOVE!!!! ID GLADLY LISTEN!!!!!!

7 years is a long time :00 Hmm let me try to remember... I think I got into sonic december of last year? I think? Not sure, but it's probably somewhere around that time I got into the silly blue hedgehog franchise.

SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER BTW!! My christmas break is coming soon, and I'm planning to (hopefully) get this blog active again by FINALLY posting some x reader stuff!! Drop another ask if u have the time!!

[nickeverdeen]

hello, hello!! if its not a problemo, could i get a matchup for the MCU ? i am a bisexual capricorn, using she/her pronouns,, and my mbti is istj ‼️ i tend to stick to the shy part of the group, but i can be loud too, once I get comfortable with the people im with, and when loud, i do curse like a sailor,, and me and my friends do swear a lot on each other, but its all done out of fun,,

and i do sometimes snap at people when im mad, even if i try not to, sometimes its super hard to stay quiet. once i snap, i start yelling and then i just regret my words/actions,,

my hobbies would include reading (specifically books based on reality (love the godfather series) or romance (especially the angsty ones)), maybe studying if that counts? cause that's all I seem to be doing everyday, cooking (i love to decorate my food!!) and drawing and listening to music!! i do daydream a lot while listening to music

one of the things i hate is when i have to clean up after somebody (don't get me wrong, i do love to clean!! but,, just my stuff) or when im in a room with a lot of mess. sorry, but that just makes me distracted and unable to focus,,

speaking of that,, its sometimes super hard for me to focus and i do have to redo my things or re read something to understand, and the world can just become super overwhelming in a matter of seconds. i do have some fidget toys that help me, but i sometimes bite at my fingers and break the skin a lil' (to sort of get myself back to reality??)),, andd uh,, i am a bit clumsy, so often i do find some scratches/blood on myself without even knowing ?

and id say my love language is physical touch? i am a bit touch starved and hug people as a greeting,, id just like myself someone i could depend on and someone who would not judge me no matter what weird things i do/say,, and someone i could spoil rotten 🤤

thank you so much in advance!! hope this wasnt a bother jshhwhehdbd have a great rest of your day!! 🏃‍♀️💨 ((sorry if there's some grammar mistakes,,))

Definetly! And it wasn’t a bother, I really love writing

Your MCU match is…

Wanda Maximoff

Wanda’s also shy at first so she’d have no problem with it

Suprised by the fact that you cuss at first, but as long as you don’t cuss at her out of anger, she’s totally fine with it

She sometimes does the same with snapping out of anger

Wanda knows that you regret what you said later so I feel like she wouldn’t take some of them that seriously, but it would indeed kinda hurt her

She doesn’t really read, but would love it if you’d to her sometimes

Buys you books that she thinks you might like

Wanda isn’t real fan of studying so seeing that studying is your hobby really suprised her

Compliments you about how smart you are

Cooking? Hell yeah count her in! She likes to cook, but only sometimes

Wanda has a full acess to any kind of playlists and songs so she’d definetly like to listen to any kind of songs with you

She’d probably notice the fact that you hate cleaning after others immediately so she’d probably tell you to leave it there and tell the person who’s responsible for it to go and clean it

Feels bad that you’re overwhelmed so she’d ask you if you want her to help you by using her power to help you make you stop feeling like this

If you’d decline, she would totally understand and ask you what can she do to help

Always patches you up after you get acidentally hurt and mybe scold you a little for it

Her love language is also physical touch and words affirmation

Gladly hugs you gently back

Considering she only had her brother most of her life, she’s also touch starved so prepare for cuddles at night and random hugs from behind

Loves to hold your hand

She isn’t really the type of a person who’d spoil you all the time, but she definetly would do it sometimes

Random kisses on cheek

Wanda is very protective towards you and if someone hurts you, she’s willing to go full Scarlet Witch on them

————————————————————

I really hope this was okay 🫶😅

[iamthecomet]

mommet!! long time (2 weeks) no talk! i finally finished that little ficlet I asked you to choose that took me approximately 2 hours and it is NOT beta read- but there's a separate dilemma

do i enjoy writing? yes! i want to go to school for it, i really enjoy it, unfortunately i am constantly out of ideas. i figured id post saying i will GLADLY take ficlet prompts/requests, but 1. i don't think anyone would be interested in that, and 2. what if that doesn't motivate me to write? or my writings bad? and now I want to go through more school for it? i don't know what to do :(

HI! Ok, a couple things. Don't get down on yourself about not having ideas. Ideas are HARD. They don't come easily, and there are definitely times when I search my brain for them and come up empty. That's why I started taking requests. Requests let me flex my writing muscles without me having to think about the scenario, or the characters. I let you guys give me that part and I just throw the characters into it and see what happens. It helps. But I do my best not to pressure myself with them. I have 30 in my drafts. Am I pushing myself to finish them to make you guys happy? No. Because I write this stuff for fun and I need it to stay fun, so I do it when I have an idea, when I feel like it, when I can. If you take requests don't pressure yourself to do them just because they're waiting for you. Here's a secret (not a secret) I actually went to school for writing. I have a whole-ass bachelor's degree in it. Am I glad I did it? Yes, but maybe not for the reasons you'd expect? Did it make me a better writer, absolutely. But mostly I'm glad I did it for the discipline it taught me when it comes to writing, and also my ability to take criticism/deal with pressure. Writing programs are no joke. People are ruthless. It can be really hard. But I'm a better writer/editor with much tougher skin because of it, and that is invaluable. I can't tell you what to do with your life. But if it's something you love and something you want to do long term--you should do it. But also, you get better at writing by writing and reading. Those are the secrets. I don't feel like my degree was worth it just for skill gain (I am a way better writer today than I was when I graduated college and that's just on experience), but it was worth it for editing ability, and the ability to handle writing pressure/critique. I would be HAPPY to talk to you more about it if you have questions about what it was like, or specifics. You can always DM me if having a conversation about it would help you make your decision.

[charliechaotic]

fics ive read and gachaclub videos ive watched (forgive my 'sins' /hj) have brought me to many times picture myself showing up in other worlds, especially ones Im fans of but like.

I was just chilling with my super cuddly cat in the bathroom

Can you imagine being like. Killer Sans or smth and walking down a hall and just hearing 'aww precious babyyy precious wittle honey' in a super high pitched voice and then it turns out this random guy thats in your house found one of your cats and just immediately fell in love with them

Man I kinda wanna write sillies abt me showing up in random places but the fear of cringe is too strong (and also I dont like making stuff if jobody will see it- like. I will gladly take just five people looking at it I just want people to say 'oh wow this is so silly and fun! i like readong this! id like to read more if you make it!' but unfortunately my target audience is hard to get to especially when Im dumb and forget tags a lot

speaking of tags, im going to proceed to jot put any tags on this post because its 5:09 and ive only been awake for like two hours and i spent half that time reading a fic I just found out about so im tired and I need to eat grgeg

have a good day gang

[honeypiehotchner]

Gravedigger’s Daughter (Hangman x Fem!Reader) -- part three

Hi besties we’re back!! Thank y’all sm for all the love on this story🥺 I’ve loved writing it & I love that y’all love reading it💛💛 (but also don’t quote me on the accuracy of some stuff in here,,, I’ve never stood underneath the wing of a Super Hornet like they fly in TGM but I’ve stood underneath an A-10 so I kinda went with my experience of that)

Summary: You’re finally back in Fightertown to visit Penny and Amelia, but there also happens to be a group of aviators back at Top Gun. One of which who seems dead-set on wooing you.

Warnings: ooh boy, lots of sadness in this one, lots of tears, I cried my way through writing this (but it has a very fluffy end)

WC: 3,859

Being back at Top Gun makes you feel 18 again. Showing your ID at the gate, being recognized and told to have a wonderful day. Driving around to the parking lot and parking in your dad’s old space; no one parks there anymore, out of respect or what, you don’t know.

You can’t bring yourself to get out of the car. You’ve turned the engine off. Unlocked the door. But you can’t move.

The last time you were here, it was to collect your dad’s things. Your mom couldn’t do it, so she sent you. You didn’t mind, not really. You were glad to be here alone that day. You didn’t have to hide your tears or be strong for your mom. You were a complete wreck and no one said a word.

You’re better today. You don’t feel as awful as you did that day, five years ago, but you’re not far from it. Tears sting the back of your eyes and you blink the sensation away.

You’re here for a visit. You want to be here to visit. Why is it so hard if it’s something you want to do?

Finally, you open the car door, throwing yourself out and shutting the door in one swift motion. If you didn’t do it quickly, you knew it wouldn’t happen. So you keep moving. You lock the car and head up to the front door. The guard lets you in, but if he recognizes you, he doesn’t say it.

The emblem on the tile floor is just the same. You used to try to jump from one end to the other when you were little, but you only ever made it to the middle. Now you can easily step over it.

The hallway here is the next obstacle.

When you came to collect your dad’s things a few years ago, they asked if it was okay to leave something here: his helmet. It sat next to a picture of him in the cockpit, in a glass case. His headshot was framed above, engraved with In memory underneath, as well as 1968-2015.

It’s still there, except his helmet isn’t. You guess they’ve just put it away for the time being, because a new picture is in its place. An old one of your dad and Warlock.

You lean in closer, not sure if you’ve seen this picture before or not. It looks new to you, but it’s the Warlock you remember. The two of them were nearly inseparable.

“Y/N?”

You turn your head, recognizing his voice immediately. “Rear Admiral,” you smile.

“Ah,” he waves his hand as he comes toward you. “Whatever happened to Uncle Solomon?”

You’re not sure what it is about him saying that, but the tears well up in your eyes and he’s bringing you in for a hug before you can question any of it.

You hold on tightly, burying your face in his shoulder, willing the tears to retreat back into your eyes. They do, but it’s a close call.

“I could hardly believe my ears when Maverick told me you’d like to stop by,” the Rear Admiral says, pushing back from the hug but still holding onto your shoulders. “My god, you’ve grown.”

“It’s been almost ten years,” you laugh. “I was thirteen when you deployed, remember?”

“Has it been that long?” he asks. “So you’re…”

“Twenty-three now.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “You’re making me feel old, Y/N.”

“That’s my job,” you tease.

He grins. “Oh, give me another hug, kiddo, I’ve missed you.”

You gladly do, letting him squeeze you tightly this time.

“So,” you start, “scale of 1-10, how much have things changed?”

“Eleven,” Warlock replies quickly. “Maybe fifteen.”

“Damn,” you mutter. “Guess I should’ve expected that.”

“You know how it is,” he says.

“I know you can’t explain,” you remind him. “No need to be all vague. We can move on.”

He smiles gratefully. “Let’s take a walk. I have something in my office for you.”

“You didn’t need to get me anything,” you say, walking with him. “What is it?”

He almost answers, but stops himself. “You’ll see.”

You know better than to pry, so you drop it, knowing you’ll be at his office soon, anyway. If he’s the Rear Admiral, then it’s around here somewhere, and likely massive. And cluttered to all hell.

You pass many, many rooms with the doors shut and probably locked. Down one hallway is the barracks, where you’re sure Hangman’s room is. Warlock steers you in the opposite direction, making a big loop around, finally stopping outside his office.

“As you know, we kept something of your dad’s when he died,” the Rear Admiral says as he walks into his office, flicking on the lights.

Instantly, you know what he’s about to hand to you.

And you don’t want it.

“Please,” you interject. “You can keep it here. It’s important--”

“It is,” he agrees. “But it was important to your father that you got his helmet.”

“I can’t take it,” you protest. “It belongs here.”

“It belongs with you,” Warlock says, fighting each of your arguments.

He pulls out a set of keys and unlocks the cabinet behind him. You avert your eyes as he opens the door, too afraid to see it. They hadn’t put it out just yet when you were here last, so you haven’t seen it. Not since the last time he was wearing it, which was right before he left.

Right before he left to die.

“Y/N,” Uncle Solomon says gently. “He made me promise to put this in your hands.”

You sniffle, the tears beginning to return with a vengeance, ready to cascade down your cheeks. You shake your head. It’s all you can do to keep staring out the window.

“If you really don’t want it, I will keep it. I’ll keep it until you’re ready. But it’s yours.”

Slowly, you let yourself look at Uncle Solomon, and then down at the helmet in his hands. Your dad’s helmet.

A broken sob leaves your lips just at the sight of it. The black background, red capital letters spelling out GRAVEDIGGER, but the A is gray, made to look like a tombstone. It’s exactly as you remember it.

You see it all the time in your memories, when it was tradition to slap your dad’s head. “Make sure my helmet works,” he’d say, and you’d hit it once, and nod seriously. “It works.”

Uncle Solomon brings you into another hug, and you grasp the helmet, clutching it to your chest. It feels like you’re getting to hug your dad again, and you smack the helmet once, finally doing what you should’ve done before he left. You never got to do it that last time because he was never meant to go up in the air. He was training them, not flying. But things went south, and he had no choice. He went up so the other aviators could come home. Even though it meant he wouldn’t.

You think of those lives he saved and you’re grateful. You don’t know who they were -- security reasons and all. You’re glad they were able to come home. But oh, how you’ve cried for hours upon hours at how unfair it is that your dad never got to come home.

He was supposed to be at dinner. It was a quick mission. He said he’d see you at dinner in two days. Those two days were up and dinner was cooked. The doorbell rang and you thought that was weird, but you went to answer it anyway. You opened it and instead of your dad, you were met with two men in uniforms, sorrow written all over their bodies.

“No,” you remember saying, and that’s all you said. Over and over again. “No. No, no, no, no, no. No!”

Your mom heard your cries and rushed to your side. She saw the men and they only nodded, confirming what she knew. “We’re so very sorry,” they said, but all you heard was your own sobs.

Like now. All you can hear are the sobs wracking your body, Uncle Solomon’s quiet murmuring as he holds you, resting his chin on top of your head.

“Oh god,” you cry, wiping your face with the back of your hands, but the tears keep coming. “I miss him, Uncle Solomon, I miss him so much.”

“I know, kiddo, I do too,” he replies softly. “It’s okay,” he says, and his voice cracks, no doubt because he’s crying with you.

You realize your tears have spilled onto the helmet and you wipe them away, drying your hand on your pants.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make it to his funeral,” Solomon says.

You shake your head. “You were dark, there’s no way you could’ve known.”

“I know.”

You don’t know what mission Solomon was on, but he was unreachable. It was no one’s fault. He had a job to do.

“He’d understand,” you reply, sniffling. “I understand too. You’re here now. And you held onto this,” you murmur, thumbing over the letters on the helmet. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Warlock says. “I have been meaning to reach out to you, but never could find the right time.”

“I guess the right time came to us instead,” you chuckle, wiping away more tears.

“I guess it did,” he agrees, wrapping an arm around you. “I didn’t mean to bombard you. I know this visit was very impromptu.”

“It was, and it’s alright,” you shrug. “I knew it was going to be hard. It took me five minutes to just get out of my car.”

“I understand,” he says. “I didn’t feel right coming back here without your dad.”

“But I know he’s glad you did,” you smile, giving up on wiping your tears away. “He’d be proud of you.”

“Of me?” Solomon says. “He’d be proud of you.”

“Don’t make me start crying again,” you groan, already feeling the lump in your throat. You take a deep breath and swallow it down. “I’m supposed to be getting a tour, you know. I can’t be sobbing the whole time.”

“A tour?” Solomon raises an eyebrow. “With who? Maverick?”

Shit. “Sure.”

“You’re lying.”

“Not technically.”

“Y/N.”

“With Hangman,” you cave. “But it’s not really a tour. I grew up here, for god’s sake, I know where everything is.”

“Ah, so that’s the one you’re smitten with,” the Rear Admiral starts to grin. “I knew there was one.”

“How?”

“An uncle knows,” he replies, and that’s all he’ll say about it. “I’ll walk you out.”

“Of course you will,” you mutter, knowing the only reason he’s doing this is so he can say something to Hangman.

You move your dad’s helmet to rest under your arm and follow Solomon out into the hall.

As the Rear Admiral is shutting his office door, he says, “You know they have an assignment coming up.”

This is all he can say, really. He can’t say what it is, where it is, when it is, or how long it will be. But he can say it’s an “assignment” and that it’s “coming up.”

“I gathered that,” you reply. Why else would they be here, especially Maverick?

“It will not be easy,” Solomon says, and that’s your clue. It’s highly dangerous. There are risks involved with everyday tasks and missions, but this is worse.

“Okay,” you nod. “Thank you.”

“Just looking out for you, kiddo,” he replies quietly.

“I know,” you murmur. “I appreciate it.”

The two of you walk in silence the rest of the way, outside toward the hangar. The jets are lined up per usual, but none of the aviators are in sight. They must be showering, or already headed to The Hard Deck.

Except one.

Hangman is waiting for you by his jet, standing at attention when he notices who you’re with.

“As you were, Lieutenant,” Solomon calls out once you’re closer.

“Sir,” Hangman responds, relaxing. “Y/N.”

You think this might be the first time Hangman has called you by your first name and not “sweetheart,” “honey,” or “darlin’.” It almost makes you snort.

“It was good to see you again,” the Rear Admiral says to you, holding out both arms.

You give him a hug as best you can while still clutching your dad’s helmet. “You too, Uncle Solomon,” you murmur. Hangman’s shocked expression is priceless.

“Have fun,” Solomon says. Then he looks at Hangman. “Not too much fun.”

Hangman nods. “Yes, sir.”

“Alright,” Solomon grins. “See you around, kiddo. See you tomorrow, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, sir. Have a good night,” Hangman replies with another nod.

Solomon leaves and heads back toward the building.

Hangman waits a few moments for the Rear Admiral to be out of earshot before he says, “Uncle Solomon?”

“Bet you weren’t expecting that one,” you tease. “I’ve called him Uncle Solomon since I was…god, probably five. I think the story goes that I said it out of the blue one day with zero prompting, and it stuck. Apparently my dad said, ‘She has spoken,’ and he’s been my uncle ever since.”

The warm memory brings more tears to the forefront of your eyes. Hangman notices immediately and his soft smile turns into a frown.

“Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”

You nod, and the tears start falling all over again. “Because I have.” You take in a shuddering breath, pressing the back of your hand over your mouth. “Rear Admir-- Warlock-- He gave me my dad’s helmet,” you hiccup, your arm tightening over it. “I wasn’t expecting--”

“C’mere,” Hangman murmurs, not waiting for any sort of reply from you before he pulls you in.

Despite having just cried your eyes out a few minutes ago, you do it yet again, this time in Hangman’s arms.

You wrap your free arm around him, sobbing into his shoulder. He holds you tighter, wishing he could fix it, but knowing that he can’t. You feel him widen his stance so you can put all your weight on him. He rests one hand on the back of your head, shushing you gently, and you swear you feel him kiss the top of your head.

You grip his uniform, pulling him closer, and he hugs you tighter in response, knowing what you need without having to be told.

You’re inconsolable for who knows how long, and eventually you calm down, but Hangman still holds you up.

And you let him.

You bury your nose in his shirt, inhaling, loving the way he smells and how it fills your lungs. You don’t want to move, but you know you’ll have to at some point. Right now, though, you just want to stay here. Forever.

“I hate seein’ you sad, sweetheart,” Hangman whispers, and this time you definitely feel him kiss your head.

You nod into his shirt, which is more like rubbing your face and tears all over him.

“I got you,” he says. “You okay?”

“Better,” you murmur, turning your head to rest your cheek on his shoulder. You take another deep breath, harsh and shuddering. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” he replies, but doesn’t move. Neither do you.

You open your eyes and look at the jets, the sky, the hangar. The things that you’ve grown up around and loved. Things that feel like home to you.

You lift your head, eyebrows furrowed, looking up at the jet next to you. “We’re standing under a Super Hornet, aren’t we?”

Hangman grins. “As a matter of fact, we are.”

“That’s what my dad flew,” you murmur, your eyes filling with tears again. “Is that what you fly?”

“It is,” Hangman replies gently. “In fact, we’re standing under my jet right now. I was just finishing checks when you and the Rear Admiral got here.”

“Sorry if we ambushed you,” you murmur.

Nothing about this feels weird. Talking to him, still safely tucked in his arms. You know by now you probably should’ve stepped back, stepped out of his arms, but you haven’t. It’s like both of you are waiting for the other to let go, and both of you refuse to.

He shakes his head. “You didn’t.” He pauses, looking down at you, his eyes wandering all over the place. Your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your lips. “So,” his eyes snap back to your eyes. “Still up for a tour?”

“Maybe,” you shrug. “Maybe a small one.” You lift your free arm off of him and reach up, cursing. “Damn.”

“What?”

“I’m still not tall enough to reach the wings.”

“You’re close, here,” Hangman, without warning, tightens his grip and lifts you skyward.

“What are you-- Hey!”

“So you can touch the wing!” he laughs, not even straining. “What?”

“Oh, fine,” you mutter, laughing with him, raising your arm and touching the wing easily. You can’t help but grin once you do. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he says, carefully placing you back down.

He uses this as an opportunity to let go of you entirely, but he doesn’t step away from you. Although your arms aren’t around each other, they might as well be.

You’re suddenly very aware of the helmet under your arm and you bring it forward, looking down at the call sign. Hangman looks down, eyebrows furrowing.

“Wow,” he says.

“Yeah,” you murmur. “I wonder if it fits me anymore. I used to try it on to be funny,” you pause to laugh, “but it always swallowed my head.”

“You could try it on,” he says.

“I know,” you reply quietly. “Just working up the courage.”

“Want me to help?”

“No,” you shake your head. “Thanks, I just--” Another deep breath. “Doesn’t feel right. Not yet.”

“That’s alright,” Hangman replies. “You wanna take a walk? See the other jets and cool down.”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling a little. “That sounds good, let’s.”

“Come on,” he nods down the tarmac, holding out his arm for you to take. It’s almost instinctual, the way he does it, his southern roots undeniable.

And you take it without hesitation, glad to hold onto him a little more as you walk.

+++

Hangman insists on cheering you up, so after dropping off your dad’s helmet at Penny’s, you head with him to The Hard Deck.

You wanted to spend the night inside on Penny’s couch, but the idea of hanging out at the bar with everyone is too enticing. Especially the idea of beating Hangman at darts and pool -- again.

All heads turn toward the door when you walk in, probably standing a little too close, but it’s not like you’re holding hands. Still, all the aviators eye you with suspicion, no doubt because they were wondering why Hangman stayed back at Top Gun.

“There you are,” Penny waves you over. “I was wondering how long you’d be.”

Maverick stands from his stool, grinning cautiously. You can tell that he knew today was hard. “I was beginning to think Hangman here kidnapped you.”

“Not quite,” you say.

Maverick pauses, still hesitating. “Did you-- Did Rear Admiral--?”

“Yes,” you nod, saving him the trouble. “It’s at home-- at Penny’s.”

“Good,” Maverick replies. “That’s good. And you’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” you say. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Mav nods.

Hangman hands you a beer. “Your usual.”

“Thanks,” you smile.

Maverick looks between the two of you. “Okay...”

You already know what he wants to say, so you remove yourself from the conversation. “If you need me, I’ll be at the dart board.”

“Not so fast, sweetheart,” Hangman follows you. “I’ve been practicing.”

“You’re full of shit,” you laugh. “But alright. Let’s see if you’re any easier to beat.”

He’s not. But he tries his hardest, which is adorable.

After a few rounds of darts, you move on to the pool table, not wanting the night to end anytime soon.

“You wanna rack ‘em this time?” you ask, sipping your beer.

“With pleasure,” Hangman grins.

He makes a whole show of it. It has you rolling your eyes and laughing, which was his plan all along. When you break, none of the balls land, but when Hangman has his turn, he makes sure to sink a stripe, letting you have the solids.

Midway through your second game of pool (you won the first, of course), you hear everyone get quiet as someone begins playing the piano.

“I forgot that thing was even tuned,” you comment, rubbing chalk on your stick.

“Rooster’s favorite party trick is tearing up the piano,” Hangman explains.

It’s true, Rooster is amazing. He’s just messing around right now, but it sounds insane.

“You know what time it is!” You hear Rooster shout. He plays a few chords, and then to your surprise, everyone, including Hangman, yells out, “Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!”

You hang your head with a laugh as everyone goes crazy. Even Hangman, who you’ve noticed has a bit of a frenemies thing going on with Rooster, is beaming, gearing up to sing along.

You expect him to join them at the piano, but instead he turns around and starts singing into his pool stick.

“You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain, too much love drives a man insane,” he nods his head dramatically. “You broke my will, but what a thrill.”

“Oh my god,” you shake your head at him with a smile.

This reaction isn’t good enough for him, though, and he continues singing, walking toward you with his pool stick in hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Kiss me baby.”

You give him a look.

“Ooh, that feels good, baby,” Hangman laughs, taking your hand to spin you in a circle. “I wanna love you like a lover should.” He pulls you against his chest. “I’ma tell the world that you’re mine, mine, mine, mine!”

He spins you again and you keep going, giggling like you used to when you were a little kid.

“Come on baby, you’re driving me crazy,” he sings, pulling you back in.

You shake your head. “Goodness gracious--”

“Great balls of fire!”

Everyone cheers as Rooster plays through the interlude of the song, his fingers gliding across the piano with ease.

You continue dancing with Hangman, having the most fun you’ve had in a long time. You feel free. Hangman leaves his pool stick against the wall, using both hands to dance with you.

“Kiss me baby,” Hangman sings, and you shake your head, but you’re still grinning. He pulls you in abruptly, one hand holding yours, outstretched, the other holding the small of your back. “I wanna love you like a lover should.”

“You’re fine, you’re so kind,” you sing.

And the both of you sing, “I’ma tell the world that you’re mine, mine, mine, mine!”

The dancing continues as Rooster plays the chorus one more time, everyone far from being done.

Unbeknownst to you, everyone is watching you and Hangman as you continue to dance in whatever way you two think is fun. All that matters is Hangman sees a smile on your face, and that’s what he wanted. After a day like today, he wanted you to have a night full of laughter.

[kermitmentality]

helloooo!!

welcome to my blog :) a bit about myself~

hello! my name is giulia! i am 18 years old and my pronouns are she/her

i am queer, not sure what labels except for demi-romantic and demi-sexual (most likely les but i don’t need to know rn :))

i am also single :) and loving it tbh

i have been diagnosed with PCOS and insulin resistance. i have had an €d for the past 4 years of my life, putting myself through pain to only yield zero results due to these conditions. i have decided i am going to try to heal my body in a *healthy* way. i cannot say i am recovering because i obsess over making myself healthy, and other reasons.

i have been diagnosed with anorexia, MDD (depression), and GAD (anxiety). also a few others but those are mostly unimportant lol. so yes, i am mentally ill lol

some of my hobbies are singing, hanging with siblings and friends, bakinggg, reading, scuba diving, and procrastinating :)

if i go poof at any time, you can most likely blame my parents lol

and now, just a few things about my blog...

first of all, i would just like to say that although this account has always been my safe space and was an €d account (never pro), i am now trying to better my health

THIS IS YOUR WARNING! i may have content involving €ds, SH, depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses

i am NOT pro €d in any way, shape, or form. i may post about my struggles with my €d and trying to get through “recovery”, i may repost my friend’s mental health posts, i may sometimes have triggering content on my blog (will always be TWed). i do not and have never supported €ds.

everything i post is to vent or to cope, and to help others cope. any food, workout plan, or health related post i make is about my recovery from a condition i have.

i am entirely pro recovery, and if i ever use humor, i am a mentally ill queer. sorry. it also is just helping myself and others feel comfortable and have a safe space to discuss their disorders. 

i see how incredibly awful it is to have mental illnesses, having a few myself, and i would not wish any pain on ANYONE. i will never ever ever ever encourage €d behavior or SH or anything harmful to one’s mind or body.

IF YOU ARE EVER TRIGGERED BY SOMETHING ON MY ACCOUNT OR ARE NOT PART OF THE MENTALLY ILL/€D COMMUNITY, OR ARE IN RECOVERY, BLOCK, DONT REPORT, MY ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. 

if you are pro ed, also block my account :) and rethink your actions please

i would just like to add, this is truly my only vent space and does help me cope with my mental illnesses as i live with people who are homophobic, of a religion different than mine, and do not want to help me in ways that will actually help. please please please block, dont report. if you have an issue with me or my blog, you are welcome to talk to me about my content before you continue with any action. id gladly speak to anyone about my content and i will listen to anything being said :)

anyways, i promise im a friendly person and i would love love love to be friends! dm me anytime and ask to talk about anything :) or lmk if you need any help at all, or would like to vent or anythinggg, im always here! 

love u all, stay safe <333

p.s. my backup is @kermit-mentality :))

my tags:

#kermiecooks for my low cal recipes and posts

#kermiebakes for my baking stuff :) love to bake

#mealsforkermie for meal ideas that i like :)

(for me) #for kermit to remember later

[shegatsby]

Crisis of Lust

Mads Mikkelsen x Female Reader

Warnings; Smut, female oral receving, sexual content. 

 I had this idea with Mads/Hannibal combined: So, the OC (id love If you could name her Ylana again) and Mads are actors in Hannibal and in the series they’re not a couple, but good friends in real life noticing the sexual tension between them. As they spend a nice evening together they found some fun smutty stories by accident where the writer ships Ylana’s character with Mads character (Hannibal x Female Character name) and Mads starts to read out the story loud for fun but soon realising that it’s going to be a smutty one and both of them get turned on, but not daring to make a move so the sexual tension is even higher after reading the story. Anyway... both of them try to work together professionally and the continue to read smutty stories about their characters in private, getting turned on immensely and then you can choose how Mads approaches Ylana to make the stuff written in the smutty stories come true? 😅 I hope this ignites the muse! 

@negans-attagirl​ 

A/N: Thank you for this request I had fun lol! Sorry for nyt typos. Enjoy!

‘’Cut!’’

Bryan Fuller’s voice was heard by all of the actors and actresses who were on the set, ‘’Thank you for today guys. See you tomorrow.’’ As soon as he said cut Mads looked at you and started to giggle like a 5 year old. He had a habit of making your job difficult by bursting into laughter or tickling you in the middle of a scene, it was as if he wasn’t a 47 year old man, just a naughty child. You never got angry at him though because over these months you guys got closer and closer, you had to spend time together and this allowed you to get comfortable with him and become his friend… deep down you wished you could be more than his friend but you buried those unholy thoughts and feelings and locked them up, you had to be professional and not fuck this up. ‘’Fuck I need to smoke. Care to join me?’’ he asked you casually and you had to suppress your childish noise, ‘’Sure.’’ You left the set and went outside, he had his Hannibal Lecter suit on him, he looked handsome and sophisticated, your clothes were expensive too and walking in those high-heels was painful but you loved the way people looked at you, they saw confidence and a beautiful woman. Not to mention Mads checking you out every once in a while. Mads offered you a cigarette and you gladly took it. He lit yours first, eyes locked on your lips for a second and then he lit his, ‘’Bryan thinks that we have a good chemistry.’’ He said and started to smoke, ‘’I think so too Mads, I’m comfortable when I work with you and others. It’s an amazing TV series and we have amazing fans. They keep sending me fan fiction and fan art.’’ You said feeling your cheeks go red, you read some of those fics and they were sexual, you couldn’t leave your eyes from the bright screen of your laptop yesterday night, some fans have a wild imagination world. ‘’Fan fiction?’’ He asked curious, his maroon eyes searched your face, ‘’Fans write  stories about us and the show, about our characters.’’ He threw his cigarette and stepped on it, a cloud of smoke left his plump lips, ‘’I would like to read those stories. Have you read one?’’ Should you lie or tell him the truth? You had to look up to meet his gaze he was taller than you. ‘’No. I haven’t had time.’’ His eyes felt heavy, you shouldn’t have lied, he didn’t speak for a moment still looking at you directly to see if lied or not and then he gave up. ‘’I’m starving Mads, we can order take-out if you want and eat together.’’ Mads was happy to hear the offer because first of all he liked spending time with you, you made him smile more often and second of all.. he was hungry like a wolf.

You rented a house close to the set, at first you were staying at a hotel because no one was sure if Hannibal TV series was going to continue but later it was established that you will shoot 3 seasons so you rented a small place for yourself. Mads visited you a lot but every time he came to your house you were nervous, didn’t know what to do or to say. He walked in like he owned the place, took off his shoes and jumped on your couch, you went to the kitchen to order the food and bring beers.

As the night went you ate and found yourself reading fan fiction with Mads Mikkelsen. He was sitting next to you on the couch, he was a tall man so he took a lot of space and your arms were touching, not that you complained.

‘’Hannibal Lecter looked at her like a starved man, he didn’t know whether he wanted to kill her or fuck her-‘’

‘’Oops.’’ Mads started to laugh, he was the one who wanted to read them with you and you were both having fun. ‘’Keep reading I wanna know.’’ You encouraged him because he stopped and took a sip from his third beer, he looked unsure to continue he wanted to but he needed the encouragement. ‘’As you wish my lady.’’ He got comfortable on the couch,

‘’She was just standing in his basement, uncovered his deepest and darkest secret and he was unsure of himself for the first time. This woman bewitched him that was his conclusion because he found himself reaching to kiss her. She was trapped between Hannibal and the cold wall of his basement and her heart was racing. Was she scared of this serial killer? Probably, however, the anticipation of this man having feelings for her sent shivers to her entire body.’’

As Mads was reading you finished your cold beer to calm yourself, he looked so into it and it sent unholy ideas to your mind.

Mads had a pillow on his lap to cover his growing bulge and your laugh, heavy breathing didn’t make anything easy for him. He wished he found fan fiction before because this was fun and sexy. He wanted to do what Hannibal was doing to your character right now but he didn’t want to make anything awkward between you two.

‘’His hand slipped under the dress she was wearing, found her lace underwear and felt how wet she was,’’ Mads and you gave a shaky laugh, he cleared his throat and took another sip from his cold beer wondering if you were wet right now. You shifted your legs moments ago so it gave him hope.

‘’When Hannibal removed his two fingers he put them in her mouth and she tasted herself, eyes on his dark ones. ‘’Good girl.’’ Hannibal replied with his rich accent.’’

You had to squeeze your thighs slowly because you felt how wet you were when you moved on your small seat, arms still touching. ‘’Someone has a daddy kink.’’ You said looking at the bright screen of your laptop and didn’t notice the look Mads gave you. He wanted to be the one you call daddy under covers. ‘’Not surprised. Hannibal is a control freak.’’ He added to your comment.

‘’Hannibal touched her wet cunt again but this time he started to move his fingers, ‘’Tell me what you want little girl.’’ His voice was low and dangerous and she could cum right there.’’

‘’This is your part darling.’’ Mads turned to you, when you saw what the character said you swallowed silently,

‘’I want you to fuck me with your fingers daddy, please.’’

You read it

as Mads asked you, and saw a spark of light in his maroon eyes, was he enjoying this as much as you do?

There was a slight pink color on his high cheek bones, lips parted and you could hear his breathing go heavy. To your surprise you heard your phone ring, it was hard to stop looking into his eyes but you managed and answered the call. It was Bryan, he said the plans were changed and you had to go to set earlier than usual. You told Mads about it and he put the laptop on the glass coffee table. ‘’It’s getting late and we should get some sleep, see you tomorrow darling.’’ Before you could say anything he left quickly and you missed the chance to see his huge bulge, he had to take care of it when he returned his home and you had to take a quick shower.

The  Next Day

As soon as you saw Mads in his Hannibal clothes you remembered last night and you felt your pussy throb with need. This man was going to be the end of you, ‘’Morning love.’’ Mads had a habit of calling you love, darling, sweet girl etc. ‘’Morning.’’

As you were filming the scenes together directors and Bryan were keep giving you compliments and telling you how great you both were. It was true you and Mads had a great chemistry on the screen, and you were good friends in real life. Your scenes weren’t intimate  but there was one where Hannibal touched your character’s hand and kissed it gently and you forgot how to breathe for a second. Mads was looking at you with those beautiful eyes, you could still feel the gentle kiss on your hand. He winked at you after the scene came to an end, you took a break and Mads asked you to use your laptop because his phone died and he had no charger, you were talking to Hugh Dancy at that moment so you said yes and brushed him off, Hugh was talking about a scene you shared and how to improve it. Mads didn’t like you attitude, he didn’t like when your attention wasn’t on him. He clenched his sharp jaw and left, you always had your laptop with you so he walked to your trailer, the door was open. He could smell your perfume, it made his mouth water. He found your laptop, his mind went to last night, he didn’t want to stop reading but it got to the point where he almost pinned you down to the couch and make love to you. Before he closed the laptop he noticed something, there was a tab he clicked on it and it lead him to a tumblr blog where there was a fan fiction, ‘’Liar.’’ Deep down he knew you read those stories. It was a sexual one, he couldn’t help but read it, it was about your characters and they were having sex.. a rough sex. Imagining you reading this alone turned him on, he was rock hard. He wanted to know the reason why you lied to him yesterday, he could ask you but that would reveal that he opened that tab and read the fan fic himself too. When Mads heard footsteps he quickly closed the laptop and left your trailer and ran to his. He had to touch himself and take care of hard cock. He wished you were there to help him.

Later that day Mads invited you to his house to read more stories together and you said yes, how could you refuse him? He had you wrapped around his finger and he had no idea.

He opened a bottle of wine for you because he knew that you loved red wine, got himself a can of beer and you opened your laptop, ‘’Let’s find a new one.’’ You looked so innocent while searching and so focused that he just wanted to grab your chin and kiss you but he took a deep breath and let you find a fic. ‘’I read the last one, you should read this.’’ He wanted to hear you say those nasty words and you didn’t complain.

‘’When Hannibal noticed that his office door was unlocked he felt rush of adrenalin. He remembered locking it yesterday night, was it someone he knew or just a break in situation? He carefully walked inside and saw her sitting on his shiny brown desk. She only had her dark red lace lingerie and a red lollipop between those beautiful lips. He closed the door behind him and locked it, ‘’I didn’t think you would be this bold. I must admit I am surprised.’’ He said coming closer to her, her scent filled his nostrils, ‘’I had a steamy dream of you last night Doctor,’’ she licked the lollipop gently, ‘’I haven’t waken up ever since.’’ Hannibal put his work bag on the floor and came to stand right between her open legs.’’ Mads started to shift at his eat, ‘’These fans I swear to God.’’ You smiled, when you were reading it he could feel the words going directly to his manhood. He couldn’t take it anymore. ‘’Why did you lie about not reading any fics about us?’’

You didn’t expect a question liked that, ‘’I didn’t.’’ Mads smirked like the devil himself, ‘’I saw an open tab on your laptop today, it was a smut fic about us. I think,’’ he put the beer can on the coffee table and came close to her, ‘’you read those to touch yourself at night. You imagine me touching you, fucking you into the  mattress like a wild animal. Am I wrong sweet girl?’’

He put the laptop away, ‘’Cat got your tongue?’’ you remembered to speak, ‘’I- yes I read fics about us.’’ His big hand came to caress your flushed cheek. ‘’Do you touch yourself too my love?’’

‘’Yes.’’ You breathed, that was the answer he wanted to hear. He leaned in to kiss your wet lips, your body felt like it was lit by gasoline. Your hands went to his hair and you slowly got comfortable on the couch. He was on top of you now and kissing you like a starved man, he parted his lips, ‘’The thought of you reading those alone at night… I had to touch myself at work love. You were in my mind all day.’’ This honest confession almost made you cry. This time you kissed him, it was passionate, needy and hard. He was between your legs, your hands went to take off his black shirt and he helped you. Seeing his torso, touching it made your pussy throb with excitement. His chest hair was grey, he was much older than you but fuck it right? Who cares.

He decided to stand up and look at you, you were on his couch, legs separated, hair a mess and you were still very much clothed. He knelt and grabbed your legs to make you sit, he was on his knees and he had an idea. He pulled your pants with your wet panties and you took off your blouse, your clothes were somewhere on the floor and you didn’t care. A strand of grey hair fell to his forehead, your kneecaps pressed up hard against his chest, he wanted to eat you out until you screamed his name. The cool air of the house met your hot and slick pussy and you inhaled sharply, he opened you up even wider and you felt exposed, your hands went to cover your flushed face but he held your wrists, ‘’Don’t, please. You are beautiful and I’m honored to be in your presences my goddess. All I want is to serve you tonight.’’ His words felt intimate and honest. You felt safe and loved.

He looked at your exposed part, ‘’You look divine.’’ Hi face was too close to your cunt and you could feel his breathing, he first kissed your inner thighs, eyes locked on you. You felt so soft he could cry, he left few marks on your inner thighs, and suddenly his lips enveloped on your clit. The noise just left your parted lips made him smile, his mouth felt like a fucking furnace, hot and needy, his silver tongue came out to play with your clit and you could hear and feel him hum deeply in his throat. His fingers were holding and brushing your soft thighs, your cunt was swollen already and his sweet tongue was swirling circles around it. Your hips had their own mind, moving in rhythm. He slowly pushed two fingers in you, and your hands went to his thick hair, pulling with passion ‘’Oh- f- fuck!’’

His rough growls turned you even more, he pulled his fingers and pushed them again, creating a rhythm and his mouth was still on you, never stopped licking, kissing. His fingers were pushing in and out over and over again and were panting heavily, ‘’Mads, oh fuck k- keep going.’’

A fire was lit in your abdomen, and you started to beg him to be faster, he was teasing you with his hot mouth and fingers and he was slow but steady. ‘’Please faster Mads faster,’’ he liked the way you beg but kept being steady. He kept licking through your wet folds and finger fucking you. That was  spreading to your body, your breathing was shallow and he still was going steady and it made you cry. You were shedding tears because of how good you were getting fucked by his mouth and fingers. And he stopped, removed his mouth and fingers which left you confused, he raised his two fingers to your mouth, you opened up and liked them and you moaned, never leaving eye contact and Mads felt his hard cock leaking with pre-cum. His fingers went inside you again, wetter this time. Your hips were locked and the soft moans leaving your mouth was driving him crazy but tonight was about you, he wanted to make love to you, give the pleasure you deserve. ‘’I-I- m gonna cum Mads oh I-m coming’’ his mhmmmm sound gave you courage, your hand was locked in his hair, he gave a soft lick on your clit and curled his fingers inside and hit a spot where no man could do it before. You didn’t hold your cry and sob and let your body erupt, your back arched and you saw white lights your legs were uncontrollably shaking and your cunt was flooding itself, you came in a man’s mouth for the first time in your life and Mads Mikkelsen didn’t pull away or looked disgusted, tonight he ruined all the men for you.

He slowly pulled out his fingers and mouth, your grip on his hair got loose, you moaned when he left contact because your cunt was still pulsating and legs were shaking ever so slightly. He kissed you lazily and then left a soft kiss on your forehead, ‘’Good girl.’’

Thank you for reading. :)