#???? does it Matter anymore??? ehhh

[yashley]

you ever think about how a choice that wasn’t even really a choice for fearne, but her being the only one with the ability to perform the ritual that made it her* choice as everyone around her buckled to try to help her out of that situation and the ramifications of that choice that she had scarred her so deeply that now she is terrified of making another mistake that will dramatically affect the people around her who she loves, and then when another situation followed, she was led into a situation that she did not want to be a part of, but under the veil of friendship reluctantly assisted and it blew up literally once again, took that overwhelming burden of guilt and while her friends stood by and once more let her be alone in her guilt and scarred her further.

now it feels like she can’t make any choice for herself, she can’t make any move because that will ultimately inevitably lead to her making a mistake and all of her precious friends will look down at her in disappointment and that there is not a single friend amongst them who has the emotional wherewithal to what’s happening with how fearne has changed and how she is shutting in on herself and how she is slowly imploding breaking at the seams because she’s being lost in the sea of guilt and no one else notices and no one else sees that she feels like she can’t do anything anymore from the smallest carefree little action that has no plot repercussions to a character centered decision that is integral to her own character arc that has been in the works for her character since the campaign’s conception

now she can’t even say anything, and if fearne does have an idea to do something. She quietly mutters it, and if they hear her they hear her enough to respond that ehhh that's not a good plan and that’s not gonna work and we’re not gonna do that. We’re gonna do this and fearne being fearne, trusting in her friends and doubting herself to the point of despair will nod her head that they were right and then we go on with our day until the next moment happens where she wants to think of something, she wants to do something, and it’s dismissed as the silly dumb fearne not thinking, that She has her own thoughts and feelings, and drives and desires but because she is drowning in doubt and drowning in guilt, She freezes up and doesn’t move and everyone around her just pushes her on, and even in the moment where she is faced with the situation that she is terrified of undertaking, and she is terrified of becoming a Nightmare version of herself her friends push her forward, her friends dust off her shoulders say your doubt is misplaced, and don’t worry about it and you need to do this, it should be you. This is for you.

They just completely dismiss and ignore her when she actually does speak up so what does that do? that means that she remains silent. She doubts herself more. She even more will only make a decision if it’s signed off by all these fucking people around her who claim to be her friends. she can’t even move without frantically looking to people around her for confirmation that that’s a good idea she’s not gonna fuck up. Everything about her that was supposed to be free and fun and sweet has just rendered her into a character who feels like they have as much agency as characters who would be absent for the majority of the campaign.

shes been so chained up by doubt and so chained up by guilt and hesitation and fear that she just is a person who affirms everyone else’s desires and ideas because what she wants will inevitably end up being horrible and everyone will hate her for it and they’ll leave

and it’s like if they deem fearne even capable enough to be the vessel she will leap at the chance to be useful and to be told her path and it’s like. fearne was ruidusborn first. how has this campaign done such a disservice to her character that the only thing fearne is certain of is that she doesn’t really matter. she’s a ruidusborn and holds a primordial titan of fire inside her, and she still believes she doesn’t really count are you kidding me

[jellieland]

In hindsight, he probably should’ve expected something like this.

He did, after all, agree to go into the sinister magical fog of unknown origin with nothing but an axe, a dream, and what is turning out to maybe, possibly, be an unwarranted level of self-confidence.

If he’s being a hundred percent honest with himself, (Which, well. Most of the time, why would you be?) he was mostly hoping to kill some stuff with the big cool axe. And while the fog is cloyingly, impossibly dense, trailing around his wrists and ankles like barely tightening rope, it is not yet quite dense enough for him to actually slice it away.

If things continue like this, though, he’s not going to rule that out as an eventual possibility. Keep your options open, you know?

He keeps moving forward, because he’s nothing if not deeply stubborn and unwilling to drop a bad idea before it kills him. Also he doesn’t really know which way he's going anymore.

Although… he really doesn’t want to admit this, even to himself, but at this point if he knew a way out he would probably take it. He can feel his heart beating faster, and his hands trying to tremble on the haft of the axe. Not that he’s gonna let them, obviously. But it's something he hasn’t felt in… a while.

It’s probably some kind of magical effect from whatever it is that’s haunting this place. Yeah. Yeah, that’s what it is, he decides. No need to consider any other possibilities.

The mud makes walking hard, dragging him back with every step. Or maybe that’s the fog. It’s hard to tell. He can’t really see the ground at this point, or the axe he’s holding up in front of himself defensively, or the tree roots trying to trip him up.

The sensation of something watching him, waiting for him, only grows, and finally he falters, freezes in place. With no-one there to see it whose opinion matters to him, he listens to his own breathing, shaky and shallow.

Closing his eyes doesn’t change how much he can see, but it does increase the feeling of something inches away and hungry for something more than flesh.

He knows hunger like that.

He opens his eyes.

He tries to tighten his grip on the axe, but his hands are numb. He can’t tell whether he’s still holding it. He can’t move. He can’t see anything.

A deep voice, one he hasn’t heard before, hums in the back of his mind.

“A new vessel, delivered to me? A sacrifice, to appease me?” It purrs.

“…Nah, sorry.” His voice shakes very little. Now this, this is something he knows. This is something he can do. “Think you’ve got the wrong guy.”

“A sacrifice that knows not its purpose, then? No matter. You will be ours whether you are willing or no.” Its tone darkens.

“Ehhh, I don’t know about that. I mean, I’m pretty sure you’ll get more use outta me if I come willingly, right? That’s usually how it works.”

There is a brief, heavy silence before it speaks again.

“You think you have the power to bargain.” It’s not quite a snarl. But there’s clear malice there. He makes a note of it. “The witch who sent you here. You mean nothing to her. She chose you as someone she is not afraid to loose.”

That stings a little, but he gets looking after your own first. And it’s not as though he didn’t suspect it. “Yeah, I figured that was obvious. I was still kinda curious, though, so. What difference does it make?”

A sliver of anger enters its voice. “Your friends will not save you.”

“I mean, sure. They never have before.” He shrugs, or at least he thinks he does. “But I’ve always come up with a way to deal with it by myself, in the end. So it works out, y’know?”

If whatever this is has eyes, somewhere, he thinks they’re probably narrowing. “…You have done this before.”

“Weeeeell, not this exactly. But close enough. Close enough.”

“You know, then, that you are weak.” It says, measured and deliberate.

“Hey now, that feels a little harsh. I prefer extremely possessable, just not a drama queen about it.”

“Your mind is easily molded by the lightest of touches.” And now disdain has entered its voice. Condescension. He hates it. “We could take you in a moment. In a thought.”

It’s never pleasant being reminded of that – a weakness he has no way of hiding from anyone with the ability to look for it.

That just means he has to make up for it in other ways.

“Let’s see.” He says thoughtfully. “There’s the convex, obviously, that probably goes without saying. Grian’s “subtle” suggestion magic in demise – don’t think anyone was even supposed to notice that, but he really did want people to die and then kill, you know? Scar’s magic crystals, can’t forget those, that was pretty wild.”

“What is the purpose of this?” It asks coldly.

“Sure, you can take me.” He lets just the faintest hint of steel enter his voice. “But you won’t keep me. Nothing ever has. No-one ever will.”

“You sound very sure of yourself for one so afraid.”

“Hey, I have a track record, I’m just taking note of trends here, honestly. I did get called in to do some science, after all.” He hesitates for a moment. “I mean, I’m not opposed to making a deal with you. Not opposed at all. Just think we should both know where we stand.”

“Very well.” It hisses. “You shall give yourself to us, body, mind, and soul.”

“I- yeah, I mean, sure, but then what?”

“We shall sow the seeds of an old world born anew. There shall be death, and fear, and chaos. The shadows of that which was once life shall spread across the land, and the light of the surface shall reach deeper than it has for many, many years.”

“Huh, is that all?” That’s not so bad. “I’ve done worse than that when I wasn’t possessed.”

“You care not for the others of this land? For those you travel with?”

“Course I do! You’re not gonna hurt any of them with that, though. Not in any way that matters.” He laughs. “Might be fun, actually.”

“So. You accept?” It seems unfazed by his casual dismissal. Good. The best alliances, in his experience, and the ones where both parties think they’re playing the other. Keeps things interesting. Probably doesn’t hurt that so far, he’s always managed to come out on top.

“Sure.” He says. “Why not?”

“You are proud, little vex.” He hadn’t thought it possible, but the fog pulls around him tighter, pressing against him, curling around his neck. “Magician of misdirection and dedication.”

He lets it happen. If it wants to have its moment, sure. It can have one. He is reminded, momentarily, of Ren’s kingly speeches.

“You think that we have miscalculated. You are wrong. Or maybe, maybe you are not. But one day, you will be.” The voice grows louder. He’s no longer quite sure whether the fog he can see is in his eyes or his mind. “You will always solve it alone, until one day, you do not. And on that day, it will long have been too late to find another who would save you. To you, though, this will matter little.”

He feels suddenly, unexpectedly warm, the chill of the evening gone all at once. He can feel the presence pressing against his thoughts.

“You will be happy. This, we will grant you. This, we promise.”

It’s all talk. He’ll be fine. Definitely.

Probably.

The fog swells one last time.

Something gives.

---

As he makes his way back out of the forest, he has a spring in his step. He can’t quite remember what happened in there, but he feels great, if a little sad to leave the comforting warmth of the fog behind.

Nearing the witch’s place, he finds that the lights around here are a lot brighter than he remembers. Has she added more since he left?

That won’t do.

That won’t do at all.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

iguazu has the most references to religion in his dialogue by a landslide. (prolly bc he swears a lot but ehhh) so i have a headcanon that he's catholic.

here's where we go off the rails. biting at his leash to sink his teeth into raven, he hardly prays anymore. deus ex machine. allmind comes, his miracle, promises salvation, HEAVEN, if he just worships her. he's been here before, so its easy for him to slip back into old patterns.

iguazu sees himself as her begrudging angel, she sees him as her perfect vessel, blinded by those teal and purple lights.

it gives him wings to deliver her message with but takes his mind and control in return. god and its archangel

anyway listen to honey im home by ghost and read which flesh is your flesh on ao3

for some reasons the first word of this i saw is "Catholic", so the conversation i had with my friend on twt few weeks ago about how "O'Keeffe was raised Catholic and that no matter what he does he's always enthralled by apathetic gods [ALLMIND] and beautiful martyrs [Flatwell]" JUMPED OUT I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT. but then i saw this is about Iguazu akdsfjsdjkfkjd

still, the next part REELS ME IN AGAIN like wow u r onto something. that makes Iguazu going against All-Mind/ his God because his feelings for Raven override any piety he might have even more delicious ... yes good ....

and thank you for the rec! tbh i did read through that fic, but my interpretation of 621 and the Iguazu/621 dynamic is a bit different, so i don't really continue. but seeing as many ppl like that one it might be more others' cup of tea!

[yourtouchismidas]

I didn't realize how much I needed a Duncan blurb until you said it but absolutely yes you should do one the coalition requires it.

You haven't seen him in years. He left the library not long after you'd had Gigi. You still have him on Instagram and he will occasionally like a selfie of you or a picture of Gigi. Anything featuring Matty he watches quietly and ignores.

Manchester is a big city. It takes you about two years to run into him. It's winter and you're wearing a big coat and pink cheeks and Gigi is in your arms, pointing at things, while you wait for Matty who inside the news agents buying a lighter. Suddenly someone says your name. You turn around. It's him. He looks stunning. As he always did. There is a blond girl with him. Short. Beauitful. Shiny. She has a smile on her face that doesn't falter when she sees you, but her eyes scan you up and down and then land on your baby.

"Hi," you say. You don't really care anymore. All that was so long ago and none of it really matters. You have your child. Your world. You reach up and give him a hug. Gigi getting squished between you.

"This is her?!" Duncan says brightly, waving too enthusiastically at the baby who stares at him with big eyes. She frowns. Then turns to you.

"Ross?"

You laugh. "That's not Ross. He's tall like Ross I guess."

"I'm Duncan," he says, "I knew your mummy when she was pregnant with you."

"She's so cute! Let's go Duncan, we're gonna miss the film," the girl on his arm says. Duncan doesn't even look round.

"Ross!" Gigi says, looking behind you as if he is going to magically appear. You'd just left the studio and Gigi had cried leaving the boys.

"She's obsessed with my mate Ross," you explain. "You don't even look anything likes him, we just came from seeing him."

They laugh. You laugh. You ask how he is. He's telling you about his librarianship when Matty steps back out the store, flicking his lighter immediately.

"Let's roll..." he stops. Sees Duncan. "Alright mate."

Duncan's face falls. Just like it did all those years ago.

"This is Gigi's dad," you say.

"Oh my god!" the girl on his arm squeals, "That's Matty Healy from the 1975!!"

"Ehhh," Matty says, forcing on a smile. You can tell he has stopped himself rolling his eyes.

"You know Matty Healy?" the girl says, turning to Duncan, as if you and Matty aren't even there.

"He does not," Matty says, putting a hand on your back to start to lead you away.

"Nice to see you!" you call back to him, while Matty glares daggers at you and you try not to crack up from the whole situation.

"Prick," Matty mutters under his breath.

[juvederm]

actually yapping

feel like a lot of my thoughts about not getting enough notes or whatever on a drawings can be dissolved by just accepting that art of the Game (its plot, events, etc) will pop off more than some self indulgent sketch. people will like things they can recognize, which i was aware of but i just thought that my art would reach the fandom people, yk the ones who are not just attached to the story but the characters too. so making recognizable art of the game wouldn't matter bc it would instead be of the characters

but the thing is, making Serious art of the game is tough. it's hard coming up with ideas, and who knows if the process is gonna be fun or extremely grueling. and on top of that, what hasn't been done so far? every idea has been drawn, been brought to life. the game is like 8 years old now. i kinda don't wanna draw more "Mountain. Blood. Snow. Ugly winter outfits" anymore lol. i mean sometimes i do bc i love the game obviously but when i wanna have fun, i'll tend to do other things that kinda combine with my own personal interests. so like fashion for example, i'll take the characters and dress them up. that's me having fun.

i want to think and Know that people understand this concept, but it feels like they don't? maybe they do. i know for a fact my mutuals do, because you are all very supportive of every silly josh doodle i make lol i appreciate it a lot 🤗 you guys are the kind of people i make this art for, the Character Likers. because i myself am someone who will attach to the characters more than like, the story. which isn't to say i just disregard the source material, that's not it at all, but for me regarding UD, imma be honest yall... i do not give a fuck abt the creature lore in the game at all. i don't care abt billy bates and whatnot. it's fine if you do, but me personally ehhh i don't care much abt that part of the story

i really like the characters out of all of this, i like certain dynamics, dialogue, etc. and i love the story too, and especially love when the story involves the characters (which i think the sanitarium segments doesn't really do? it kinda just gives insight on the 1950s mine incident and shjt) but i like the parts of the story relating to the twins. bc those are characters and they kinda haunt the narrative.

speaking of the narrative, it's part of the reason i like josh. he doesn't haunt the narrative but he controls it a lot id say. he's a very captivating character, very compelling. you want a lot out of him, like what's wrong, why is he doing this, why did he say that, blah blah. i honestly love characters that are attractive in this way, even to other characters in the story. so sam and chris for example. i enjoy the dynamic they have with josh because they're worried about him, they're thinking about him, or they want to know if he's okay, what's up with him and all that. he holds their attention like that, and ofc that led to ships and stuff. i feel like ashley's actress said it best when describing josh: "you think he's one way but then he's another"

which is honestly just so fucking true. you think he's dead, then he's not, you think he's okay but then he's not, you think he might live but he doesn't. he's even like that personality wise i'd say, but that's teetering onto like headcanon territory just somewhat. because sam does say "it's hard to tell with him" but that's mostly bc of the incident with the twins, she can't Tell if he's okay or barely hanging on. josh is hard to pin down, he's Complex, as stated in the game

sorry for getting into a little josh analysis there but since he is an important character (in general) to me, i kinda felt the need. because this also goes into my gripes about people not really getting why i draw him the way i do. j know i won't shut up about this, but i just Want everyone to know, bc i feel as though it was part of the reason why i wasn't really interacted with for as long as i've been a part of this fandom. like nobody really understood what i was doing, but it was really just simple fun. i mean, now i've completely given up hope with ever really Connectinf with the fandom, but i just want this off my chest honesrly lol

like i really don't want to keep drawing josh one way. like i said i wanna have fun so that's what i do. i can't really "make an him an oc" because i don't change anything about his story or writing. putting him in a silly outfit doesn't make him eligible for "original characterification" lol. so that's what i mean by i make a lot my art for the fandom people, the ones who like the game for more than its story, people who like making headcanons, people who like writing for the game, etc

and the reason i do it a lot is bc of what i said before. making art of the game is tough, it's a lot of thinking. what Hasn't been done already? not much lol. so i'll just keep sketching the silly stuff and sharing it with cool ppl who kinda get what i'm doing 👍

but i definitely will make art of the game and not just the characters, i'll make art more recognizable to the average player because guess what. that's also what i like. it just takes a long time for me because Serious art has a lot of thinking and planning behind it and is just very time consuming in general. but oh, josh in a skirt? took two minutes and i can just close my ipad and not worry about anything else lol

i hope this made sense??!?&?@ i kinda wanted to talk to people about it so if anyone else feels the same way i'd love to know. i'll prob make a followup sometime soon but i just wanted to get all my thoughts out in one place because i've kinda collected them all finally leleleleel

[loquaciousquark]

domesticity meme!!! 13 & 37

37. what would they do if the other one was hurt?

Ohhhhhh heavens! Let me dig into the ...how many words do I have on AO3 right now? WHAAAAAAT LET ME DIG INTO MY APPARENTLY 1,184,730 WORDS when in the world did I break that million word marker!! Oh--probably with the backlog I posted from early FF.net days--though now that I think about that, that's probably not more than 80k words. Incredible!

Anyway. The answer is they fucking hover. Both of them, clingy as limpets. Hawke hovers and tells bad jokes; Fenris hovers and gets mad. They're both protective to a fault--and I mean that, it's really not healthy for either of them. Fortunately, they don't get hurt much, and when they do they mostly heal quickly. At least the way I hurt them, anyway. Mostly.

Part of the problem is Hawke's determination to prevent pain for all others by taking all of it herself. She's the richest, the most socially powerful, the one apostate beyond Meredith's reach; if anyone poorer or weaker or shabbier than her gets hurt in any way, that means she, personally, failed to protect them and balance out the pain scales. Is that healthy? No! Is that going to make anyone else happy to avoid that pain? No! Does that matter? No!

So in contrast, Fenris's "keep your head down, protect yourself first" attitude provides some of that necessary counterbalancing. Also, if Hawke getting hurt would cause Fenris pain, it's no longer a perfect preferable option, so she can't default to that as her first response anymore.

Is this healthy growth? Ehhh, close enough.

13. favorite sexual activity?

Under the cut, just in case!

Also, fair warning: going to discuss Danarius pretty frankly here. That said, I think they're both reasonably adventurous! Hawke only had one long-term partner in Lothering and a few stolen kisses during the Meeran year before Fenris shows up, so I don't think she's nearly as experienced as Fenris is. I think she'd enjoy anything that prolongs the experience of the intimacy (edging) or relies heavily on intimate trust (light bondage, blindfolding). She also unashamedly loves being the center of attention and is perfectly happy to entertain herself while Fenris watches.

She doesn't get a lot out of spanking/flogging and would not find giving up all of her control a pleasurable experience, not just because of her personality, but because as a mage losing control of herself is possibly her most fundamental horror. I don't think she could ever let go in a sexual context (especially to a non-mage who will never really understand that struggle) without breaking part of her mind in the process. She's also completely incapable of taking a roleplay scene seriously, though I'm sure she'd try if Fenris asked.

That said, anything that Fenris likes is very, very high on her list. She very seriously wants him to enjoy everything they do, preferably with very little pain involved, and I think in the early reunion days she's almost overly focused on him to the point it makes him uncomfortable. Still, she's got enough natural selfishness that doesn't last overly long, and they find a pleasant equilibrium soon enough.

Fenris is so much trickier. I have some extremely complicated headcanons about whether the things he likes are things that Danarius trained him to like vs. his own natural preference and his struggles to figure out if that matters over the years, and I definitely think that extends to his sexual preferences. I think at the start with Hawke he's deathly afraid of bringing in anything he ever did with Danarius (because if Danarius enjoyed it, what kind of monster would it make him if he has some of those fantasies too? If he gets pleasure out of the same act Danarius did, is that not poisoning Hawke in the same way Danarius poisoned him?).

And the thing is, I don't think the things that interest him are even necessarily that exotic! I think he likes being pegged so long as he can see Hawke the whole time; I think he likes very mild D/s (both sides); I think he likes giving oral. I think he knows he's incredibly good at it on both men and women (see again: my beliefs about how Danarius deployed his abilities), and I think he finds tremendously empowering pleasure in applying these skills in a way he has chosen for himself, on a person he cares about, rather than on some object of his master as part of a dispassionate political manipulation. I think Fenris also knows he is very, very good at this in general and likes having that honed skill recognized by his partner; that it's someone he loves and who loves him is a new bonus layer to the experience. I even think he'd be okay with light binding eventually, though neither of them is ever going to be interested in shibari or anything like that. Still, it takes a long time to get him to even begin opening up about some of this stuff, even with Hawke.

I do think he has a major praise kink, on that topic. But God, it has to be done such a specific way to ring true for me; for me, the idea of Hawke calling him any nicknames which infantilize him or force shame is just an instant hard stop brick wall. Any banter, nickname or otherwise, anything that implies shameful inexperience (or shameful EXperience), lack of control, extreme youth/naivete, or otherwise undermines his dignity and pride, is just--ugh, please no. (I read a fic once where he was called "baby boy" for most of it and I just couldn't get over how much it made my skin crawl. It may work for other Hawkes & Fenrises, but man, not for mine.) He's scraped his pride out of absolutely nothing and for many years it was literally the only thing of worth he had, and even in play I don't think Hawke could stand to see him humiliated. On that note, I think Danarius used to call him "my dear," and Hawke never calls him that as a result. Pretty much other pet name is on the docket, though.

Other than that, I think Fenris also just gets a kick out of sex where he gets to enjoy himself. His control is immaculate and I think he likes exploiting that against Hawke; I think knowing he's going to for sure have a good time at the end regardless makes him more interested in holding out as long as possible some nights.

I do think Hawke has a marginally higher sex drive than Fenris, but again, she's perfectly happy to take care of herself when Fenris is either out or not in the mood. Thankfully, he's also completely okay with this.

[kitty-used]

Mockingbird: Part 2

Currently I’m walking these two cute kids back home. I mean I did declare in their big sister so suddenly so of course I have to do my duty!

“Rin, can you tell me where your house is?” “Hm- oh it’s on xxx street. It should be close around the city.” “Ehhh! So you kids walk 30 minutes and back from school everyday? Don’t your tiny legs get tired from walking?” I asked with a very deep concern in my voice.

“well we don’t mind it anymore even though it does hurt…but sometimes only!” Rin gave out a not-so-convincing laugh. “Rin…it’s okay to be hurt, and you too Ran. Here come to me and I’ll carry ya!” I bent down to their height and picked them up, Rin on my left and Ran on my right side. “Oof-alright! Let’s get a boys home safely now.” I began walking again now carrying the two kids whom I thought would be heavier, especially due to their age but they were so light. So they’re parents even feed!?

“Uhh it’s okay you don’t have to carry us if we’re too heavy for you…” Ran said looking almost embarrassed but helpless at the same time.

“pshh! You’re not heavy kids and we’re almost close to your house now.” I stood in front of the apartment complex. Everywhere I looked it seemed too empty even though it’s located close to the city.

“Well, home sweet home! Which floor ya live in?” I went inside the building and into the elevator, putting the kids down.

“It’s on the 4th floor.” They both said in unison. While I was pressing the floor button I heard a sudden thump, I looked back and saw them sitting on the elevator floor. They looked so tired, sad and hurt….I got down with them and soothed their head gently. The whole time it was quiet and peaceful, like it was only the 3 of us in the world…and nothing else mattered.

The elevator came to a stop and the door opened, I got up and helped the kids get up too. They grabbed my hands on both sides. I couldn’t help but smile and melt from their cuteness.

“Alright boys, which door is your apartment?”

“4 again!” They beamed in unison.

“Lucky number 4?” I joked and walked to the side where their apartment was. Only the problem was…did they have a key?

“Uhmm guys do ya have a spare key?”

“Yea I do sis!” Ran took off his backpack and unlatched a key chain. “Here ya go!”

“Thank you very much!” I took the key from his small hands and opened the door. We walked inside together. The living room was big enough to fit a small family, it was also pretty empty except for some toys and a television.

“Alright! You’re home now, well now I’m off unless ya hungry and can’t cook.” The twins looks at me with sad eyes. “Sis…we’re hungry and we don’t know how to cook, and our wounds hurt.” Their eyes welled up with tears, and how could I say no to that?

“Don’t cry, I’ll cook for ya and clean ya wounds for today. Alright?”

After a couple minutes of consoling them and calming them down I went into the kitchen.

“Ya parents won’t mind, would they?”

“Nope, we don’t think they’re gonna come back until tomorrow morning.” Ran said as if it was normal for parents to neglect their kids.

“Oh well- then just relax and I’ll take care of ya today!”

Art not mine

[lemonhemlock]

I wouldn't say there are a lot of Al*smond shippers that want a young actress to play Alys, but there are definitely quite a few (not a majority though?) who wouldn't mind it AT ALL if this happened. My guess is that, despite whatever they may claim in public about loving the ship, not finding it unhealthy and not minding the age gap, they would, in fact, feel uncomfortable if Aemond's love interest looks much older than he is. Just a few days ago when the rumours about Jessica Findlay possibly being cast as Alys were being discussed on Reddit I saw some people who said things like "well, her age is not central to the character" and "she's said to look younger, a 33 years old actress is ok". Oh and there is a very annoying anti on Twitter (some Helaemond shippers should know who I'm talking about) who would ALWAYS say (still does) "well HBO will likely cast an younger actress" when harassing other shippers in favor of their ship, as if people will suddenly convert into Al*smond shippers if this happens.

Yeah, no. She looks younger, but not like a young 20 something/early 30s years old. In fact, the book clearly says that Aemond and goes out if its way to say he could've have chosen a maiden closer to his age yet still chose a woman twice his age, at least. And, like you and others have said, she's a milf type of character who's been through several pregnancies herself and nursed others' children. So yeah, the age is very important. Obviously, these kind of shippers and stans do project/self-insert themselves onto this character which is is why they want a younger actress.

In my opinion, an actress who is in her late 30s, maybe even early 40s, would be the best choice. Not to mention that choosing a young actress for an older character would feed even more into the ageist idea that older women are simply not attractive and desirable anymore. Although I love JBF and I find her to be a great actress (and I will probably get over it if she is indeed cast as Alys), she is too young looking (she herself looks younger than her age), honestly she looks more like an older sister if you put her next to Ewan.

Emily Beecham is a much better choice, looks a lot more mature than Ewan/Aemond and youthful enough in order to pass off as an 40 years old woman described to look younger than her years. She may not have the Strong look as some have pointed out as an excuse to be against her being cast, but wigs do exist. Ewan doesn't have long silver hair either. If we're to compare the fandom's reaction to the possiblity of these two actresses playing Alys then JBF clearly received a more positive response which is a bit sad and funny at the same time. They say they want and wouldn't mind an older woman being with Aemond, but when they actually see HBO considering an actual older woman they are like ehhh well not like that…

So hopefully HBO doesn't pull off another Netflix and go for a younger actress for a mature character like they did with Yennefer.

Thank you for this very comprehensive, piping hot tea about the strange world of aemond kinnies. 😂

I honestly had no idea JBF was more well-received than EB; that's nuts, since EB is a beautiful woman and talented at her craft, who doesn't even look old in any way that matters lol. So JBF having an edge on her just because she's a few years younger is hilarious.

I have to say here, though. I remember Sara Hess telling everybody how she thinks Rhaenyra being overweight after 3 pregnancies is biased reporting from the maesters and historical slander/misogyny. I can't say that's entirely out of the question, as it's not unheard of for people to make fun of women's looks for no reason, if they happen to dislike them. So I can see them making the same kind of argument for Alys - that the histories recorded her as being old to slander her.

But come on. I will not be surprised if HBO pick an actress on the younger side, but that's because of the ageism prevalent in the film industry, not because this relationship is supposed to be a healthy one lol. They also would have a vested interest in making this ship appealing to the audiences. So there is obviously a difference between having 39 y.o. Katie McGrath play her (another popular fancast) vs 49 y.o. Olivia Colman playing her - who is absolutely a phenomenal actress, but you know how the reception would be, for obvious reasons.

[butmakeitgayblog]

Do clexa have really loud sex at Clarke’s parents house? Clarke strikes me as the person who does not try to keep quiet but Lexa does to be respectful. And Clarke wraps her thighs around lexas ears tight enough she can’t tell until it’s too late

You're right about Clarke wanting to be loud during sex all the time, I mean,,, they gained a reputation and a nickname to Lexa's absolute horror around Clarke's dorm the rest of their college careers for a reason, but as for at the Griffin house? Ehhh, well. At first Lexa was rather skittish and just waiting for the shoe to drop any time they stayed at Abby and Jake's, because that's what always happened in her life, so she was always on her best behavior and nervous that they'd just want to boot her out. And Clarke, knowing Lexa's past, would've respected that fear no matter how unfounded it was when it came to her parents. By the time Lexa got anywhere near comfortable enough to believe that they'd never do that, 1. Her snd Clarke weren't dating anymore, and 2. She'd be too embarrassed because it'd be like having loud sex around the only family she's ever felt really loved her

[ihavenothingtodo10220]

100% accurate with the way you said abt the therapist friend or the person whos always the extra earpiece. it feels like people want others in their lives but only for their own benefit bit like how people have kids even tho the world isnt really suitable for them so what do they do? have kids anyway and be like ehhh tell their gremlins to just suck it up as though older generations arent responsible for anything but then again no ones accountable so what does it matter anymore? ~ common sense anon.

Exactly. Like, the amount of times I was the third earpiece or the go between in basically everyone’s lives was exhausting as shit. And again I agree with your statement about having kids when the world isn’t suitable. Like, I get wanting to have a family and settle down and raise a kid, and if your situation means you can have one all the power to you, but people with those particular situations are growing to be less and less. And then I hate when people lord it over their kids heads like “Oh I gave birth to you.” That was a choice you made and something they have no control over. And I love what you said about ‘gremlins’ because honestly that’s what a majority Gen alpha is becoming. Not as if it’s their fault, but parents nowadays are shitty as fuck parents. I’m not saying my parents were perfect or parents in my generation were perfect, but at least the way they raised us was…Raising us, albeit with a lot of spankings which I’m not about to get into. But nowadays people don’t even want to raise their kids or have any punishments for them verbal or not. Like they just give them an iPad and let them walk all over them and do whatever they want. Again, this isn’t the kids fault and I’m not trying to be that person like “Oh kids nowadays are so disrespectful.” Like I have two baby cousins, sweetest kids ever, I love them to bits. Their father is a good dad, (albeit with corporal punishment which…Again we’re not getting into) and working long shifts so they’re with the mom most of the time, but their mom lets them do whatever the hell they want and run wild. Like I’ve seen them do crazy ass shit only for her to laugh it off or try and tell them not to only for them to walk all over her and for her to just let them. Like there’s a difference between gentle parenting and letting your kid run wild as a menace. When he’s around family and she isn’t he’s so sweet and articulate and well-behaved. He even listens well. But when she’s around? He runs wild and tears stuff up and my house and some furniture is STILL damaged from how much of a menace he was, albeit he’s mellowed out. He also tried to throw himself over the banister and she just wasn’t there because she left him unattended with me and the rest of his cousins who didn’t even really know we were supposed to be watching him. Also I just remembered this but he can’t go to daycare and stuff because he’s not potty trained. He’s about to be like six this year. And he still wears diapers. And lies about them being full and his mom just goes along with what he says even though we can smell it and see the sag.

All and all everything’s going to shit.

[nogenderbee]

It's alright! I don't really mind the long wait xD always make sure taking care of yourself is your number 1 priority!

Yeah I have to skip him because I want to get yelan, I lose the 5050s on her last rerun so I was like...you ain't escaping from me this time- but anyways, once you get the other siblings... it's feel wrong not to get the oldest one, love how it's become a mission with almost all players to get the siblings to be together lol

Honestly yeah!! You are going to get burn out really easily if you just get characters are meta and not really liking the characters? Playing games is supposed to be fun so it's doesn't really matter as long as you have fun so yeah I 100% agree with you about worrying about the build later, that's the future us problems XD

Omg yes she does!! I love how she is more of the cooler girl and her design is my absolute favorite I'm a simple person lol also I hope you get him next time on his rerun if you haven't though the skill points management but ehhh we worried about that later...

I'm really happy to have another rambler friend xD I just like running my mouth off a lot so hopefully you won't get bored of me chatting away for days-

Omg I relate!! Like I got Lynette for free and bf just pulled Freminet on my acc randomly so now I'm determined to build them all even tho I'll most likely die doing so since my lack with both gacha and artefacts just sucks ToT

And yeah, I kinda get people who wish just for the DMG because hey, some have fun this way but I definitely don't get people who pull for DMG and are kinda forced to ignore characters they like because of it... Like hello, you can build anyone! It's RPG which means you're free to do whatever you want!

But Stelle OMG I agree so SO much, one thing I love about Hoyoverse protagonists are that they're mean girls (at least looking at Genshin and HSR because I don't really play other games of their anymore...)! I mean, I just love that they let us pick the silliest options in stories every now and then!!

As for Dan Heng, I wasn't really wishing for him back then because I had no crystals... but if he gets his rerun and I'll have enough crystals then I'll most likely try wishing for him~

And yeah 2 ramblers meeting is like unlimited chat or so of course it ends sooner or later but still-

[dahliasanddimples]

Today is day 7, which is basically day 8 since it’s 3 in the morning. Can’t believe it’s only been a week. Like where the heck did time go? I honestly feel like that was one of the longest weeks I’ve had all year like it’s been one entire week and I’m already almost basically over you. I understand why things had to happen the way they did. Those basically mini break ups we had in between and what not. I knew I had to feel SOOO sad in order for me to feel this amazing after only 7 days. The first day was LITERALLY gut wrenching. I wonder if it’s bc we (eye) ended on good terms. At least I think so. Yeah the night before was very much petty of me and for a moment I did feel bad for what I did but then again you’re a liar. It doesn’t matter the circumstances or how much or how little you lied, it’s the fact that you lied. I asked were there bitches and you said no. I asked again you said no. With your chest. With not even a hint of anything. Knowing damn well there was a bitch there. Idc if she’s ugly. Idc if she WAS only there for an hour. And then you’re like okay so I lied. Okay. I lied now what. Like ?? Tf ? Like are you testing the waters? Like okay how far can I take it how far can I push the boundaries. And my Dumbass over here like Awee maybe I shouldn’t have done this maybe I shouldn’t have done that NO you dumb bitch. How fucking dare he. He’s lucky I didn’t push that damn tv off the stand and break up. I. Kid. You. Not. It took ALLLLLLLLLL of me. God himself had to physically hold my hand back from just swatting that tv to the floor. He’s lucky it was just his bong that was already broken. He’s lucky all he lost that day was his remote. Yeah it was petty to ask for my pillows back. But I didn’t want him to have a good nights rest. Like yeah I just have to you earlier that day and you got a taste of what good rest would’ve been but not anymore. Take that back. Just like I take me back. I am a little crazy and maybe anger does get the best of me. But it’s like things were ending. There’s just little things. Like all of a sudden I’m not allowed to look your phone? That was never a deal breaker. Like these little things, him peeking over my shoulders, him asking to see my phone like? You have never done that. And you probably are talking to bitches which I’m not sure if I cared 100% and maybe bc I understand replies and maybe bc I’m a natural flirt and maybe bc I do maybe adhere to that 30% rule and maybe I didn’t care if you posted us bc I wanted to be under the radar too but you hella obvious. Like I KNOW you and your Dumbass ugly ass friend know about my finsta but for twitter. Like you makin up scenarios in your head baby. Like yeah you right all bitches do have that back end piece and my back end actually lookin like yo front end if we going one for one 👀 actually most of my pieces are lookin a little better than you. Is that why it’s been so easy for me to get over you? I mean it wasn’t hard to get over the last one. That last one was fucking just a total bitch. I could tell him to buy me a bag for a reply and he’d do it lmao. He’s a loser in a loser way. You’re a loser in an actual loser way. Like the guy that you bring home and your parents know you know? Like the guy that their daughter is completely blinded by and they see him as this total fucking loser lol that’s literally you. Other dude was just very ugly and insecure. And then you started showing insecurities. And whether indirectly you probably started talking to other bitches. To have your line up. And sometimes it made me sad to think about it. But then I think about it and I’m like, ehhh. You really can’t pull anyone better than me. And I’m not saying I’m the baddest bitch but I am saying that I really am that bitch. Like yes you can pull a bad bitch but is she funny? You can pull her but can you keep her? And I’m thinking you a fucking bum lowkey. Like you gotta be with a lil ass girl bc who is impressed with what you have? With the way you live? The lifestyle you’re living? It’s gotta be another broke ass bitch, a single mom, a young ass bitch

A single mom, or worse… a desperate bitch. And yet here I am, none of those. A corporate cutie with a six figure salary. A hot women whose independent who really got my own. So what is it that I saw in you? That’s really been the question amongst friends. What was it! Bc it wasn’t the sex. My gosh no. It wasn’t the dates LMFAAOO heaven knows we’ve went on like THREE the entire time we were together two of which I planned and took us on. I took your my ass on a trip! And you complained the entire time! Omg what a bitch what a baby back bitch lol it was fun. You were fun but I think that was it. My friends didn’t party a lot and you know I love to party. I love to go out. But as with most relationships I wanted more than that. I wanted intimacy which was okay but I wanted more time just us and you were still very much like okay what about us and like 2 of my friends. Uhmm so it’s not a date. Pretty sure I’ve made it clear I don’t wanna keep hanging with your friends. But they have coke. And they have drugs. And they have beer and they have fun. Which I’m okay with but you never offered? Which I’m okay with but it’s a Tuesday? It’s true what they say, friends of a feather flock together. You all fucking bums. Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are. DAMN. ALLLLLL your friends bums holy cow. Not one of you, not one of them, have a career. One of them probably has his head straight at least the other has a stable job but damn. None of y’all? Finished college? None of y’all, have a CAREEER? But half of y’all have kids. Most of y’all have baby mamas.

I just can’t with myself. Like what was I doing. You are literally the epitome of a verified loser. But I’ve always known this. And a part of me knew it wasn’t going any further than what it was. And I’ve brought it up twice but I liked you. A lot. Who knows why. Maybe bc your were a cutie. But you’re not an honest person. And you’re actually not my type. You’re lazy. Like you’re actually very lazy and your health is not your priority. And a part of me thinks, what if he did beg me to come back. What if he wrote a super long text and what if this what if that. But he wouldn’t. And for him to get a message to me, it would require a gift. A message on a gift and even that he wouldn’t do. He knows gifts are my love language. But even that I pray I have the strength to say no bc he’s not good for me. Just thinking about him… he’s a nobody. Yeah he’s well known but how could you not be. You’re literally out all the time. You’re in the streets. Who tf parties on a Tuesday? Who does coke everyday and especially on tuesdays? When do you realize that it’s a problem. Your nose is actually so fucked up and this stuff goes straight to your brain. He was a little retarded actually. I might be ditzy but at least I’m not stupid. He says of course he loves women. Women should be CEOs and run companies. but women should never be right or have their own opinions. That means as a man you see women as the hard worker, the bread winner, smart enough for a job but not to have their own opinions.

OMG you’re a loser. Like I can actually imagine you as like the typical high school quarterback who ends up being a janitor and is like fat (but you do so much coke you’re like sickly skinny) on the one seater lazy chair in front of the tv drinking beer after your janitor job. With like 3 kids all from different baby mamas. Probably 4 bc she probably already had one from prior. Omg I could never see you in the future but this is something I could actually see for you. And that’s so sad. And I’m so happy I left when I did. Even tho it ended the way it did it needed to. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for getting me out of that situation.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the bigger picture and trust that there is something better out there for me. But I have faith and I do know that there IS someone better for me out there and that there is more to this life of mine and I shouldn’t be wasting anymore time on you, and or with you. I’m in my prime. Actually I haven’t even hit my prime! Your prime was more than 5 years ago. And just like a high school quarter back, you’re still living in that glory. It’s crazy, but yes. I am in my prime or actually about to hit my prime. Like this is the new me. Like, this is my ultimate prime. I have money now. I have time. I have a hot bod I’m mentally ready to get back on social media. This is my villain but like in a good person type of way era. Omg I be at the gym just excited about it lol

Cheers, to me, myself and I. Cheers to the end of one whole week, cheers to closing one door so that many more open, cheers to being open to more blessings, cheers to being selfish and focusing on me, bettering myself, investing into myself, cheers. To me 🥂♥️ and entering into my prime era 😌

[cyclonesyndicate]

(what a wonderful world) || fantasia || trial end

If you want to live, you should be able to. If you want something, you should take it for yourself. That's how Fantasia has existed for the past three years, and when he hears Dominick saying that he wants to live, he's sure that his decision to vote was the correct one. If he wants to, he'll find a way to do so. Nothing about his past will ever go away-- when he closes his eyes, he'll see death every moment, and he'll never be able to escape some of what he was taught-- but that doesn't matter when the future is ahead of him. Fantasia believes this from his own experience, which had led him to deliver his parting words back in his own trial:

Just enjoy living! It is the best part about being human!

As a fellow human, just as rotten and self-serving, Fantasia beams across the room at Dominick as the verdict rolls in. 

"How does it feel, mon chéri? To be alive? I remember how delightful it was, the first time! If you do not feel it yet, do not worry-- you shall one day!"

His arms open with his proclamation, so full of excitement he is. After all, it's not just Dominick returning to life-- Fantasia himself had now managed it literally, and he wouldn't give up his second (or perhaps third at this point) chance for anything. It feels just as good as the first time. Having freedom in front of you, just a step away. The world at your fingertips, only you to decide what to do with it. All the time in the world. 

As flourishing as ever, Fantasia hops out of his chair and makes his way around the table. He waves his fingers in Dominick's direction as he goes. 

"Now, now, once you're ready, we will have to fight a bit! It's only fair, since I died and all that! Do not worry, I will go easy, okay~? I promise, doing so without obligations attached is quite fun! It is a date, nyahaha~!"

He cackles to himself at that, before he reaches his final destination. And where else would it be? With another joyful laugh, he practically flings himself at Kamal, briefly throwing his arms around the other man's neck before he starts swinging their hands back and forth. His tail wags in a way that's far more doglike than catlike. 

"Mon amour, we have done it!" He tries out a new form of address and decides he likes it, and so plows onwards excitedly. "Outsmarted even death! Like this, we can do anything we want in the future, non? How beautiful it will be! I can already see it! We can go all sorts of places! ...Oh, once those troublesome organizations are out of the way, of course... but after then!"

 After coming back from the dead, the act of taking down a couple of international espionage organizations doesn't really seem like as big of an ask as it once did. Fantasia would rather not live in fear of death any longer, after all, having experienced it once. Though he was happy to give anything a try, some things didn't warrant second attempts! And after that... well, what was there?

"Oh, I wonder what I should do... I suppose being a renowned thief is very fun, but for the rest of forever? Perhaps I should try something else... ehhh, like painting! Oh, but I do not know the first thing about it. Or clothing! Or..."

For a moment, the tide of insecurity that always accompanies thinking about too hard about his identity begins to swell. ...But what's the point of that anymore? He has plenty of time-- and, he's not as terribly alone as he once was. Surely one of his dear new friends can help him find new things to do, after they've already given him such a wealth of new and wonderful experiences!

"...Well, I will figure it out later. Now, the rest of you!" Here he turns, still clinging to Kamal. "You will all be staying in touch! This is not a request! It is a fact! And we will do all sorts of exciting new things, and you will no longer get hung up on why you should not do them or why you can not have what you want! This is also a fact, and not a request. And you will all be happy! This is also a fact! I am a genius on these things, you see. So I will look forward to seeing all of our lives from now on!"

This was what had broken him out of his own horrible cage, after all-- the sight of people living their own unique, mundane, occasionally terrible, occasionally thrilling lives. And there's no one he wants to see live on more than the people here, now.

...No, that's a lie. There is. It's himself. 

"...Ehhhhh... I should probably think of a good name for myself at some point, should I not..."

And true to form, as if he hadn't just crawled out of pseudo-purgatory and found the mastermind behind a killing game and discovered a meteor that can absorb people-- Fantasia is immediately preoccupied with what he can do next.

[fcdcdmcmories]

"IT'S..." did he want to say good to be back? yes, he did, because .. in so many ways, it felt as if he was. he didn't want donna. no, he wanted this. HER. cecilia pederson was the love of his life and ... what was it that he had told matt? WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW. and as it turned out? he did know. he did not, however, want to take things too quickly and to ruin something, but.. his eyes said everything, didn't they? "thank you. it's good to be.. here." back. with her. it was. more than anything in the world, it absolutely was. "sounds like a plan. you know, i think i've managed to make him like me. even the slightest bit. AT LEAST, HE DOESN'T YELL AT ME ANYMORE, BUT.. EHHH, he was right to do so. there were .. certain things i needed to see." he was going to leave out the part that edgar had only ever made him see what.. deep down, he had already known. that he belonged right here. with her. didn't he? "you know what i think? MONEY IS EASY REPLACEABLE. you lose some, you can win it back, but .. there are certain things in life that you can't replace. that you only find once in a lifetime and when you do.. BETTER HOLD ON TIGHT TO THEM, BECAUSE.. they're pretty special." he hadn't looked away from her once as he spoke, because wasn't it clear that he was very much talking about her? about .... this? yes. "OOF. THERE GOES MY EGO," he placed a hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt, when in truth, he couldn't stop smiling. "and for what it's worth? i don't ... i don't regret anything either. all of it. I'D DO IT ALL AGAIN. EVEN THE BAD." because the good moments - like this -- made up for the rest and the only thing that he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss her. he moved forward, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him.. I LOVE YOU. ONLY YOU. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU. precisely what he could not say out loud, but .. was saying here. did she know? "it does sound like us," he moved forward, letting his hand rest against her cheek for a second. "WOAH. CECILIA PEDERSON, BEING CORNY? that is new. it says a lot that we're getting close to our twelfth anniversary and you still keep on surprising me, hm?" in a good way, of course. in a very, very good way. "NO MATTER WHATEVER SHIT PULLS US APART.. THERE'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE ... AN US, in this way or the other." @xtinyslip

"WELCOME BACK." perhaps that was too strong to presume but honestly to hell with it? yes, it was easy to get caught up in the moment but the moment was good and it was the first good thing that happened in a while. cecilia didn't want anything holding them back anymore. there was always something but maybe... well, she just wanted it to be different now. it didn't mean it was going to be which stopped her from elaborating further. "hm. as long as we agree to have the wedding after party back at the farm? i think i could limit the ass kicking." teasing in return, not being able to hide her smile even if she wanted to which... she didn't. "money means shit to everyone." but she understood what he was trying to say, she knew the moment she met his eyes. "what is happening to me that even i agree with that? money's... money. i can live with it. clearly, i can live without it but there are some things that i don't want to live without." she wasn't going to say she couldn't live without him because she could but she could hand on heart say now. THAT SHE NEVER WANTED TO HAVE TO DO THAT. "i don't think even i can drive the idiot out of you." of course, joking for the most part as she leaned against him. "even when you drive me crazy? even with what we put each other through? i don't regret taking that chance on you." and she wasn't sure she ever could. she had a feeling she knew what he wanted to say, the same thing she'd wanted to say but... well, couldn't be too careful. right? she brought her hands to the side of his neck so she could press a slow and gentle kiss to his lips. I LOVE YOU. I DON'T WANT THIS NIGHT TO END. it's all it needed to say before she pulled back, chuckling it off. "yes. that sounds exactly like us. yes." that was exactly what they needed to agree on because wasn't enough, enough already? "it probably sounds ridiculous but we're on our first date. i'm allowed to be corny and you have to accept it." she teased, before continuing. "i feel like us..." in some way, shape or form. "will always be here." @fcdcdmcmories

[scrawlingskribbles]

Whaddaya think of the new style, Fashion Boy~? 

Rad’s enjoying that the inherent flight powers of a turbo form lets him Feel Tall for once, and Raymond ofc Very Much So approves of the new look~ x3c (just gotta get those fans & processors to work again first pfffft~)

[firjii]

Hot take:

Sometimes when you’re not sure if you want to write special races/species into fantasy fic (elves, orcs, whatever) or don’t know how to handle things like population demographic breakdowns, you should consider not describing characters in those terms. Stick with physical attributes or in-convo references or maybe just don’t go into it at all. (because YES YOU CAN STILL HAVE DETAILED CHARACTERS WITHOUT CATEGORIZING EVERYONE D&D STYLE)