#>>smh these rich people<< yknow

[lindonwald]

since we’re on the topic of lux it seems like a good time to finally post this haha

[glacialswordsman-a]

“Albedo—,” Kaeya tried again, but he was shut down. Interrupted, even! His brow twitched at that before he sucked his teeth, however it was quickly replaced by a smile once more. At least, until the icy wind pierced right through him, causing his very core to shudder violently. Archons—Celestia really was out for him today, huh?

He made no move to try and cover himself further, nor even wrap his own arms around himself for some semblance of warmth. No, he remained upright and stubborn. However, he was terribly rigid and looked as though he could shatter into shards of ice at any moment.

Honestly, he had no idea why he had to keep up pretenses in front of the Chief Alchemist especially.

At the mention of camp, however, something inside him screamed and cheered and begged him to say yes, while another one continued to say they don’t need to, it’s fine! Fortunately, though, his instinct for survival kicked in and shoved his pride aside, even if it hurt.

“… Alright. I can agree with that,” he acquiesced, sighing lightly through his nose as his smile fell and his countenance mellowed out. “Lead the way, then. Please.”

"—I'm afraid I can't do that."

The sound that greeted them was the wind, almost like it was whistling and taunting the two in Dragonspine. The cold may gnaw at a human body, like KAEYA's, but ALBEDO is immune to the cold. He's lived in it, after all.

With a sigh, he tucked the bandages away, raising a gloved hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose. There may be a chance that enemies may come by, and if the latter is willing to be this stubborn...

"... Why don't we head to my camp?"

"I'll give you the supplies to treat your injuries there, too. It would be terrible if we wind up in a fight that we aren't prepared for."

It was a simple offer, but it was the best that ALBEDO can think of. Lowering his hand, he adjusted his coat, giving KAEYA an affirmative nod. He was giving the captain a choice—despite their differences, he isn't fond of seeing him hurt and hide it.

And maybe... It, too, was his own way of giving him privacy. The two needed it.

[reqinodactyl]

BLACKBONNET TITANIC AU OMG !!

Ed winning a dockside card game and rushing towards the ship in his purple crop top with his leather jacket slung over his shoulders. He's laughing, hair pulled away from his face as he waves at Izzy once the ship is set to sail.

Ed was having the time of his life on this ship, wandering out and about and generally just minding his own business while making fun of the upperclass, occasionally stealing from them just to have his fill, sketching the skylines, meeting Stede.

And Stede forced on the trip by his father to bond with his soon-to-be-wife Mary all for the sake of money and property. Stede, feeling the deep sadness that his life brings and despairing at the loss of marrying for love, suddenly feels the need to just be away from it all. He reaches a part of the boat that is almost always empty and he climbs over the railing, filled with the urge to just jump.

Edward in one of his late night walks with a smoke, expecting the normalcy of his day, stunned at the sight of Stede and quickly just runs over.

"What the fuck are you doing there, mate?!," Edward exclaims, hands outstretched towards the blonde man's direction. "Get over here, christ! Do you want to die?!"

Stede, over his shoulder, gives Ed a face of disbelief. "What am I--are you serious?! What's it look like I'm doing?!"

"So you do want to die?," Ed asks, bewildered. He looks the man up and down, noting the loose clothes and big robe, ticking the boxes in his mind and confirming that this person was one of the rich ones. He can't quite help but wonder about the man, he's clearly rich, he's on a ship that thousands of people wanted to be in, so what's his deal?

Stede scoffs, hands tightening at the railing. "No, I'm out for air," He says dryly. He mutters sounds of frustration to himself and was shocked when there's a rush of movement at his periphery. He turns his head sharply, gaping at the other man. "What are you doing?! Go back!"

"No, mate, you jump I jump," Edward says, inching towards Stede slowly.

"What?! I don't even know you!"

"Edward Teach," the man says simply, a small smile on his face. "Come on, mate, do you really want to jump? It's a big world, lots of places to see! I'm sure there's something here that's even better than dying a slow painful death by cold waters," Ed says, smile morphing into a grin with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "But if you really want to jump, I'll jump with you"

"No! Go back, you nut! What in the heavens are you even doing here?! No one occupies this place"

"I do, occasionally, and I'm glad I did now!," Ed shouts to be heard over the clashing of waters. He moves slowly towards Stede, giving the other ample time to react if he didn't want it.

Stede, skittish still yet curious, allows him.

"Come on, mate," Ed repeats, voice soft and eyes imploring. "Think about it, do you really want to do this?," He asks softly, hand inching towards Stede's. "I tried fishing in Wisconsin once, fell into the water and nesrly freezed to death. But this," Here he juts at the water with his chin. "This is loads more painful and terrifying. I think you deserve a better death than that, don't you?"

It takes a good while before Stede finally agrees in climbing back. Legs shakey and eyes red from crying, but he stands there, hand tightly grasped in Ed's.

"I'm Stede," he says once he has wits about again.

and the rest is you know how it goes aha but:

• Stede's fiance, Mary, is nice here. She talks about the man that accompanies her, Doug. How they're in love. They form an alliance, which Mr. Bonnet is not happy about.

• The whole gun running around scene still happens except it's ed, stede, and his dad.

• Mary and Doug try to help but, yknow, sinking ship and all that.

• Also, they all survive (not Stede's dad tho smh) because Stede, unlike rose, knows that there was enough room in that large piece of wood thank you

[vivianette]

The insatiable urge to play with hanma shuji's hair I WILL cry

Okay yes omg imagine when he had like his sides shaved(?) like yknow he had short trimmed hair at his sides right and that lil frosting swirl hair in the middle (you frequently tell him he looks like a vanilla cupcake and he gives you a look lol) and you like rubbing your fingertips on the trimmed parts and it feels so good even if he used the 3-in-1 shampoo at the beginning for your relationship and he’s like “babe what are you doing?” “It feels nice, like a soft kiwi” and he gets up from your lap with a ‘babe wtf’ look and you’re pushing his head back again to your lap and he doesn’t even resist cuz he actually does like you touching his hair even if you made it weird with the kiwi comment lOL

And then when he has his hair long, silky locks (I’ll chew on his hair Fr bruh smells so nice too, rich people shampoo smh) he’s an adult man now and with money too so he’s way much better at looking after himself and putting some effort in his hygiene also your influence on him hehe Yall been together for a long time but honestly his fave routine of yours is when he comes back from a stressful day with kisaki nagging his ear off about some loose ends he wants him to fix, nothing compares to getting home back to you and instantly going to where you are, if your standing somewhere he’d make sure he pulls you to the nearest sitting space or maybe your shared bed so he can cuddle up to you. He’d take your hands and place them on his head for you to do your magic, running your fingers through his hair combing them and massaging his scalp. He feels instantly relaxed as you gently scratch his head too. He unknowingly lets out soft ‘mhmm’s with his eyes closed which you decide not to point out cuz your baby is too tired for you to tease him aw. Mostly he’d doze off right then and there as you take this time to see how pretty he looks in his sleep and leave a few kisses over his face.

He doesn’t mind you touching him anywhere or doing anything so he wouldn’t mind you when you’re busy braiding his hair and clipping on hello kitty clips on him “damn babe I look good, now try this one” he points at the braid you opened as reference from Pinterest. Would even try learning some hairstyles himself so he can make you look pretty too, doesn’t matter what kind of hair you got he will try his best cuz your his baby🥺Tho he’s not that good at the beginning so please let him experiment on your hair at your own risk cuz it may result in knots and having to cut them off in some way😭 is very proud of his first little funky looking braid he did for you, pls tell him he did great and that you love him he lives for your constant validation and praises alright

In conclusion, play with this man’s hair you won’t regret it 10/10👍

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[euphoriatxt]

txt as mall employees ♡

yeonjun ⧫ gucci store

the boys are so done with him

yknow how there’s first world problems/rich people problems?

yeah yeonjun has luxury store employee problems

“ugh, i had to count $50,000 in 20’s the other day. it was awful.”

“that one ceo came into the store again and bought one of each purse for his wife, i’m so sick of him.”

“it took six! SIX!!! trips to load all her bags into the car.”

really won’t shut up about it

uses his employee discount to the fullest

everytime he gets his paycheck you see him with new gucci shoes or a shirt

sometimes it’s not even tasteful, he just buys it because he can smh

when he’s in his work suit, you’ll see him doing that one walk he does when he knows he looks good

takes advantage of his attractiveness and has tried to become a sugarbaby multiple times

has succeeded

one of the regulars at the gucci store is paying him to compliment them daily over text

actually friends with a lot of rich people????

takes the boys to his rich friends’ house parties whenever he gets the chance

soobin ⧫ build-a-bear

he’s so in love with his job

during his first week he made a bear for each of the boys based off of their personalities uwu

he’s the one that stuffs the bears which also means that he leads the heart ceremony :’(

always lets the kids poke his dimples when they ask

seeing a little kid’s eyes widen in facination at the stuffing machine just makes his day

not a single day goes by that he doesn’t gush over a little kid

he hardcore judges them when they choose an ugly name for their bear tho

“oh wow saggy is such a great name”

the only “downside” to his job is that he’s really clumsy with sewing the bears closed

always has a bandaid in his pocket in case he pokes himself with the needle again

likes to grab a bunch of the tiny hearts and hide them around the mall when he’s bored

beomgyu finds a new one in the arcade every single day

“how did you manage to put 10 in the claw machine?”

beomgyu ⧫ mall arcade

spends so much time playing games that this almost can’t be considered a job

when people come in alone he plays all the multiplayer games with them and gives them hints on how to win :(

owns the highscore on every single game in the arcade

even if someone beats it, he goes out of his way to beat it again (he usually gets it back during closing time)

his guitar hero skills are kinda hot ngl

has attracted a crowd multiple times because of how impressive it was

hueningkai’s kiosk is right in front of the arcade, so they often play together during kai’s break

gifts all the stuffed animals he wins from the claw machine to hueningkai

feels sorry for the people who can’t win something from the claw machine after 10 tries, so he opens it up and secretly hands it to them

lol did i mention there’s a laser maze?

the boys will spend h o u r s there after their shifts, going through the courses

“soobin i told you to bend down lower!” “this is the lowest i can go :( ”

“why are you going so slow?” “not all of us are small and nimble, beomgyu.”

taehyun ⧫ apple store

yeah, he works at the genius bar

after a week, he realized that he’s incredibly overqualified for some of the stupid shit he gets asked to fix

“did you even realize you turned on the portrait orientation lock?” “the what?”

he stopped trying to talk to some of the boomers who walk in

and it’s always about a software update

he ignores all the questions and just updates their device in silence

the same elderly people come back every time there’s a new update and taehyun doesn’t even bother to teach them how to do it themselves

it’s better for him anyways, he’s been winning “most helpful employee” every month because of how often he “fixes” people’s devices

whenever he gets annoyed with a coworker, he sets an embarrassing photo of them as the background of every single device in the store

he has done this to yeonjun multiple times without him knowing

somehow never gets caught

he loves to flex with his employee discount

owns all versions of the airpods, the latest apple watch with more than 5 interchangeable straps, the newest iphone, 4 cases....

yeah, you get it

gives the best birthday gifts

most of the boys’ apple products are gifts from him

if the boys have problems with their device they go to taehyun and it’s fixed in under an hour

hueningkai ⧫ splat ball kiosk

it’s a more stressful job than you’d expect

though it may sound pretty basic, his kiosk is actually one of the most popular and busy

bored out of his mind one day, he created various challenges and tricks to do with the splat balls

the winners get a star sticker ★

there is a target game, a juggling challenge, a catching game, a throwing game, hoop game,

he was really that bored

the kids are kinda scary because the games often get really competitive

“my ball is way closer to the target!” “no, it’s not! mine is!”

nothing a star sticker can’t fix :)

a lot of the parents treat his kiosk like a day care

“can you watch my kid while i’m in bed bath & beyond?” “i-” “thanks”

thankfully, beomgyu doesn’t mind kids so hueningkai just sends them over to the arcade until their parents get back

[gordvendomewhore]

can the preps cook?

what’s up losers

i haven’t made a headcanon post in what feels like forever but lately my wifi has been sucking DICK so i pumped this shit out and whoop now we have a post

this isn’t as lengthy as my preps in quarantine post but i’m still putting a whole “keep reading” thingy

this post is pretty plain and nothing real special, but i hope you enjoy anyway

(i say this everytime but these are based on my fanon interpretations of them!! canonically, none of the preps would know how to cook or even how to cut an apple, so take this with a grain of salt LMAO)

derby:

he can’t, and he won’t.

he has servants cook for him 24/7 so like,,,, what’s even the point of cooking for himself LMAOOO

if derby tried to cook, he wouldn’t burn down the kitchen or anything like that, but he wouldn’t make anything half decent and would then blame everyone around him for his own depressing failure

so it’s best to just,,, not let him into the kitchen at all

more for the other preps’ sake than his

3/10. he would have a better score if he weren’t such a bitch. 

bif:

eh, he’s not bad

he certainly doesn’t cook for fun because “what’s fun about doing poor people activities,” but he knows how to do the basics

if he has someone helping him, he can do more intermediate dishes but again, he doesn’t cook for fun

bif only cooks when he or another prep are hungry and he has absolutely nothing better to do

he doesn’t like cooking big family dishes for things like breakfast or dinner, but he’s not completely opposed to it

5/10, he’s mediocre but not horrible

gord:

gord cannot cook. gord cannot cook. do NOT let him in the kitchen.

he likes to brag that he can do everything and anything, including cooking, but that's only ever resulted in the fire department coming to the academy and crabblesnitch getting a few wads of hush money

but while gord does burn water, he is EXCELLENT at plating dishes and he KNOWS what looks good

honestly his cheese platters are a gift from the GODS

1/10 for cooking, but a solid 11/10 for presentation

parker:

he can’t cook, but he’s not completely useless

parker is what i’ll call a “backseat cooker”

like a backseat driver except in the kitchen

he knows his seasonings, kitchenware, and recipes quite well, but he’s just horrible at actually,,,, putting it all together and making something

so he just hands you your tools and ingredients when you need it and advises you on what to do

he’s very cute kitchen help, and probably wears one of those aprons that says “kiss the cook”

he and bif are a pretty good pair in the kitchen

6.5/10, knows what he’s doing but can’t actually do it. his cuteness makes up for it though.

tad:

tad is a baker. not a cooker.

he’s excellent at baking, and it’s a hobby of his he genuinely likes and enjoys (even though it’s not the stereotypical rich activity)

however that doesn’t mean he magically knows how to cook

like bif, tad knows the basics because being a baker means that he knows his way around the kitchen

but overall he avoids cooking as much as he can (which is easy because surprise surprise! he’s fucking rich and servants cook for him)

tbh cooking probably scares him

“if i wanted oil to pop at me i’d go start a spat with the greasers.”

4/10 for cooking, but a good 8/10 for baking!

justin:

only knows how to make egg dishes.

that’s it.

his knowledge ranges from scrambled eggs to avgolemono and everything in between

if you asked justin to fry a fish, he would curse you and your feeble bloodline and probably finish you off by spitting in your mouth

justin doesn’t cook for fun, and only when someone else asks him to

(but that isn’t very often since the preps get sick of eating eggs 24/7)

(tbh they probably gave justin an intervention about this)

10/10 egg skills but 0/10 overall because he literally CANNOT make anything else

chad:

hey, look what we have! someone who can actually cook!!

i have always PREACHED that chad is a completionist and has TONS of hobbies so of course he cooks!

he’s the only prep that cooks for fun, but he never really cooks to,,, eat yknow??

chad is more into cooking really intricate dishes that look expensive enough to be in a food magazine; basically he cooks for the “glamour” of it

he never really eats his own food, he only ever tastes a lil to see if it’s up to his standard

he just gives his cooking to the other preps and is HELLA smug if they like what he made

chad and gord are a good pair in the kitchen, since chad can make fancy food that gord makes look even fancier

9/10!! he’s good at what he does and he knows it!!!

(smh cocky bitch)

bryce:

he doesn’t know,,, how to cook

the other preps that can’t cook (like derby and gord) have attempted to learn before but just,,,, can’t.

but bryce on the other hand hasn’t had the chance to learn at ALL

honestly he’s terrified of failure so he just doesn’t try

even though he thinks cooking is genuinely interesting

(pssst your insecurities are showing bryce)

the only times he’s in the kitchen is when he’s watching the other boys cook

(he watches like an excited child 🥺)

1/10. he would be good if he tried, but we all know he won’t.

pinky:

pinky knows how to cook. however pinky does not LIKE cooking

her parents forced her to take cooking lessons in order to be a fit housewife in the future for derby, but yeah uhhh

pinky is a lesbian and refuses to be a ‘50s housewife.

so whenever you put her in the kitchen she PURPOSELY causes complete mayhem and chaos

if the preps don’t want to die within the ashes of the harrington house, pinky stays OUT of the kitchen.

-10847302/10. she’s a demon.

(but her actual cooking is decent and is a solid 7/10)

feel free to tell me if you think i’m wrong lmaoo but thanks for reading!! 

my asks are open and i know that there’s a 5% chance anyone will but whoop send me an ask if you want to

but yes yes, again, i hope you enjoyed reading and i hope you have a nice day <3

[aroyami]

everyone acts like the otherkin thing was mostly furries in denial or white people who were told they couldn't have spirit animals, yknow, normal stuff, until the fictionkin komaedas or people being kin with popes. But my first encounter with otherkin was someone sending an ask like "My mom won't let me eat her jewelry even though im dragonkin :(" and the op responding like this was a normal, real concern and the asker's mom should be convinced to let their kid eat their jewelry

What the fuck kind of fake dragon kinnie thinks dragons EAT riches instead of just pointlessly sitting on them. I can’t believe this poser didn’t know their own lore. Smh

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Thoughts on Evan's feelings for Jared? I always see people talking about Jared's feelings towards Evan (for obvious reasons), but the mood around Evan is a lot quieter.

really i think part of the reason it’s much more difficult to talk about evan’s feelings about jared in a potentially em ell em sense is because like, canon gives us such a small piece of their relationship and is so vague about the entire Past Decade+ They’ve Known Each Other, and evan’s really not acting very consciously interested in jared in the duration even as Only Friends (haha…it works in two ways there b/c ppl say things like “*just* friends” but also b/c evan and jared are each other’s Only Friend…) and he’s immediately caught up in The Whole Mess before jared’s second appearance so

but also another big issue is that we’re given this whole opportunity to see how evan navigates his Romantic Feelings for someone via his crush and eventual dating relationship with zoe and yet………………………….it gives us hardly any information. it’s very weird

like? okay, so evan is pining from a distance on this girl, and since it’s only the first day of school and he’s talking about messing up a chance to talk to her after a jazz band performance, presumably the crush started in evan’s junior year or earlier………….and Pining From Afar On Someone He’s Never Had A Conversation With isn’t really useful to reference when it comes to his relationship with jared. and maybe the details of Why evan is crushing on zoe in particular potentially could’ve been handy in like, getting a concept of what attracts evan to someone, but like, i guess we get the idea that he’s picking up on her Seeming Nice (which……like, is partly an act? it’s partly an act for him too, so is he picking up on That similarity? that could be interesting but rather it seems like he just….likes that she’s nice, which, okay…) and “if i could tell her”? more like “if [this song] could tell [the audience anything about Why Evan Likes Zoe]” because that’s purportedly what it’s About but it honestly gives us no info. it just lists off unimportant details he’s noticed about her from Afar that can’t necessarily tell anyone that much about what she’s like as a person…..she doodles when bored….probably takes buzzfeed quizzes…..okay

and then when they’re together it continues to be an absolute mystery. even if we ignore all the lying and weirdness re: how it’s all tied up in tcp and connor, and try to focus on What Works to figure out what these two might be looking for in the relationship and what they’re responding to, it’s like, infinite ellipses……they’re seriously always uncomfortable around each other?? like?? once again “only us” pointedly refuses to tell us, say, why zoe likes evan. they Joke Around in that scene and that’s like okay haha bants i guess that’s good, but it seems to be about warding off the tension so………the omnipresent Discomfort……….like can they have a substantial conversation?? imo the moment between them that might like, give us Anything to work with is when evan is accidentally “”””rude”””” in rightly pointing out that zoe seeming to imply that evan wishing his mom was rich rather than poor Stems From Ignorance is a terrible take……and then zoe says she was impressed by his ostensible Not Being Niceness, and yknow, the whole part of the show where she’s getting to be angry and ~rude~ and not getting along with evan is like, most interesting re: her character b/c she’s just refusing to Lie. inchresting moment!!!!! maybe evan and zoe could bond over feeling obligated to Act Nice / Accommodating despite doing so for different reasons!!! but no. the moment just Goes Away instead

we really just….in spite of how much Content in canon is devoted to evan’s feelings about zoe and their relationship, we get like………..no info about why evan likes zoe. she is a girl who is nice? and that’s all we’ve got. cue jared’s off broadway (?) line of: we get it, it’s very heterosexual…….fittingly in response to evan Not Really Answering the question of why he’s so #about zoe………

liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike my takeaway from these (non)examples of Evan’s Romantic Feelings is…………that evan is pretty freaking clueless about his own feelings? and is hardly deeply analyzing even this nice safe crush on a girl so like. if he Does have latent feelings for jared at that point, i really do not think he is Conscious of them or of their True Nature.

that’s not to say i don’t think it’s possible that he Could have those latent feelings in canon. even though evan ignoring jared is a whole part of the plot / leads up to good for you, and that evan’s dissatisfaction with his and jared’s relationship is like, suggested right off b/c nobody’s signing his cast, when they Do get in sync (literally!! lol! they’re Singing!) in sincerely me it’s very effortless and we see The One Time that evan drops his “gotta be nice and accommodating” facade b/c he’s with jared and nobody else, and the way they interact here (and at other points) speaks to how comfortably familiar they feel with each other and how they’re pretty In Tune with each other. and the sincerely me scene makes jared want more of that experience of being alone together and having fun and being in sync, but evan isn’t pursuing jared at all unless to ask for input about His Zany Situation………see: evan’s cluelessness and Not Really Reflecting On Feelings

like, jared may or may not realize that his feelings for evan are Like That, but we know that it is whole entire Canon that he is conscious of his desire to have a close and real relationship with evan. whereas evan is like, seemingly not tuned into this fact about jared at all

like baaaasically unless it’s an au i don’t think of evan as becoming Aware of any Feelings™ for jared until after canon (or sometime before the Finale 1.5 Yrs Later scene, possibly)………..like, i think those feelings Could be present in canon and could even be affecting events in canon, which is a fun (i mean nothing about canon is particularly Fun) perspective to take, but i don’t think evan like, is going to think about feelings like that in even a “is it Possible it’s a crush” way in canon

but like, mutual pining is great, and even if we have these two Trying to work on communication skills, you Know that even if they’re both at stage Awareness Of Crush, neither is just going to up and talk to the other about it. smh

re: what Could be there in canon that evan’s not yet aware of……i mean, he’s all about Longing for shit, and we can assume he maybe wishes he and jared were closer too, but unlike jared actually trying to make that happen, it kinda feels more like evan just figures that that’s Just Not How Things Are and there’s nothing he can do about that………i also just kinda feel like evan could be at a stage where if there’s even a glimmer of awareness re: A Gay Feeling it’s like oh denial time, what if i were to decide i’m even more committed to this crush on a conveniently Unattainable™ Girl who……seems nice……..yeah awesome

like i really don’t think that Feelings For Jared would truly spring out of nowhere for evan as in “the feelings are nonexistent during canon”…..but it might Seem like it’s ~totally new~ re: a changed perspective when it comes to those feelings, b/c i don’t think of evan-during-canon as aware of that kind of thing or really devoting much thought on it. being an apparent great essayist means that not only must his writing be decent but his Ability To Analyze things must be, too!! let’s have some parallels of jared reading evan’s letter, as it’s all too easy to think he must have, and evan reading jared’s letters, i.e. Fake Connor’s emails to evan. analyze That content evan

anyways yeah i just think of Evan During Canon as totally unawares but i do think that if he Was to reflect on how he feels about jared, which we don’t really see him doing in any significant way thanks in part to being distracted the whole time, it’s entirely possibly there could’ve already been mutual pining lol. like, it’s not that i don’t think The Feelings Could Be There, cuz really, it feels like if there WAS that awareness that yeah we could really be making progress here. but i also think that like, evan needs to shift his broader perspective of jared as well to get to the point that that’s possible. cuz he’s just kind of not seeing ways the relationship could be different than it is and i think that like, the lack of communication, e.g. not directly saying what they want / not talking for stretches of time potentially ((another) e.g. how they apparently hadn’t talked all summer) also plays into Miscommunication……..like, i do think that jared is trying to express friendliness and affection, but evan is just like “Sigh!!! 9_9″ about him and like, focusing on the lack of what he considers Real Connection Ideal Friendship things, like apparently that Open Direct Communication about feelings and dreams and stuff, and frolicking in meadows, and emailing

speaking of, evan nervously refuting any possibility of Being Gay twice in four minutes does not suggest he’s someone ready to think about the love that one man feels for another or anything

and it’s all in line with how jared’s pretty much seeing evan more accurately than evan sees himself, being the Teller Of Truth, the stand-in for The All-Seeing Audience……………..jared’s the more Aware one here, both about evan And himself And everything else that’s going on. he may not have an objective or omniscient perspective on anything, and he’s obviously making mistakes in how he understands things about himself and evan and everything else, but evan’s kind of just careening around knocking shit over and just struggling to keep up rather than really think things over…….and also it’s clear that he’s Avoiding thinking some stuff over thanks to messiness and uncertainty and all that

uhhh in conclusion………………i think evan’s feelings for jared During The Events Of Canon would be repressed and unexamined and he’s just like, put everything in his life in this box of “i hate it” and so he not only has to be willing to really redirect some focus to jared but also like………..really consider him anew and maybe see the good in what’s already existed in their relationship rather than just see how it fails to measure up to what evan Thought was proof of friendship (signing a cast) or the ideal best frienditude (straightforward encouragement, personal lore-sharing, frolicking, etc). basically Stop Ignoring him, which is what would’ve made jared happy in the first place lol. so yeah something like all that

[venuspapi]

you described scorpio's "vehicle" as a tank. what would the other rising sign's vehicles be?

ive been thinking about this ask sorry i couldnt get to it until now! so going with this analogy, the rising sign is the vehicle of the chart and the sun and moon are passengers, where we’re going and who’s going, it’s symbolic but lol lets think about it. lets assign a vehicle to every rising sign. 

aries rising: a motorcycle lmao. maybe a tricycle. i always experience aries as very childlike, creative and always on the defensive somehow. but also theyre leaders, its like someone who could lead a charge into battle? the aries rising person is always active, impassioned, leading people and creating and learning new things, speeding from one thing to the next. they can be very combative.. but not in an impressive warlike way necessarily, like a tank. just defensive and combative. sorta like a scared kid sometimes so yeah tricycle or motorcycle. 

taurus rising: luxury car or busted up jalopy. maybe even a limo lmaooo taurus loves indulgence and comfort and spends time making sure its accessible and available to them. creatures of habit, luxury, art, indulgence, they know how to be comfortable and love to share it with others. there can be a focus with materialism, so having vs not having, which is why i included yknow busted up old ass car or newest sports car with all the amenities. 

gemini rising: a bicycle for the duality. i wouldnt say motorcycle, those are fast and also fall under cycles but motorcycles have a reputation that doesnt necessarily match. OOOOOOOOOOH mercury can make things small or long so maybe ... no that’s definitely virgo. so yeah bicycles which is ironic cuz i can barely ride a bike. i learned ages ago but didnt have one growing up. OH actually public transportation OMG I KNEW IT i wanted to put double decker buses but i didnt see why until i remembered mercury also rules public transportation. i love that. trade caravans probably fall under sagittarius but food carts and market stalls can fall under gemini too. getaway cars too, mercury was a thief in mythology !!

cancer rising: the family car, the safe one for parents, like a prius or something you know? maybe the suv or the minivan with a lot of seating for the family. soccer mom cars definitely. cancer wants to go into the world as a mother, protecting and or being protected. 

leo rising: this rising’s “vehicle” would be a palanquin, lofty, held above everything but dependent on others. i suppose it could be a mechanized palanquin without the need for power but leo gives me... old time monarchs being carried by loyal servants, leo radiates majesty and nobility but needs an audience to shine, subjects to rule. without others to witness, what’s the point? so yeah a palanquin. or maybe a convertible, something to convey wealth and status and carefree fun. wind whipping through her hair, smiling face, hands in the air speeding down a road... definition of like, white girl midsummer fun, no? oh or maybe a monster truck lmao. clown car on a train too.

virgo rising: minicooper. minicoopers!!!! those cars that can only fit two people that could be gemini too but i fucking love small ass cars for virgo that shit is so fucking funny. volkswagen beetles (i forgot they were called beetles everyone calls them buggies) are very virgo to me too for some reason. wow okay if i had a car it’d need to be a volkswagen beetle i love the look... sorry im a gemini rising during mercury rx i keep getting sidetracked. ooh virgo rising is related to animal work and agriculture too so maybe a fucken plow or some shit. an ox driven plow. a tractor. a forklift, cuz virgo has ties to labor. 

libra rising: volkswagen beetles cuz theyre pretty and i like them. any pink car, a nice one, the rich girl who got a jag for her 16th birthday. or maybe she doesnt have a car and is content riding in someone else’s. libra can be a bit adolescent at times, so the imagery of like a teenage girl making out with her boyfriend in his car is really funny to me and i think a little applicable. or maybe just any boring old car that looks nice on the outside but is super messy on the inside like how libras look totally boring until you get to know them? idk tbh??

scorpio rising: a tank!! an armored car. nobody knows anything about them ever and they want it to stay that way. impenetrable, unyielding, unmoving, etc. ooh also a hearse

Sagittarius rising: PLANES!!!!!! trains!! THE old timey exotique™ trader’s caravans too lol. the merchants with the stories from faraway lands... anything that can travel at all really, so technically any vehicle, but those associated with more international forms of travel would obviously be the focus for describing a sagittarius rising’s “vehicle” in life. 

Capricorn rising: boring ass capricorn smh gray car that seems to be the only type of car you see on your commute to work. im exaggerating a little bit but capricorns are very by the book, so. 

Aquarius rising: a unicycle, bullet trains, mag-lev trains, anything futuristic and innovative. a helicopter or gyropter or something strange and unique, innovative forms of travel definitely come under technological aquarius. if hover cars r ever a thing those too. oh also orbital vehicles like those space tourist ones where you can experience weightlessness? yeah.

pisces rising: THE OCEAN!!!!!! travel over water is one of the oldest forms of travel, n has been the driving force for much of human development and history! and pisces risings cn be dreamy and they can seem lost at sea so... yeah. maybe they can have a palanquin too, they can seem removed from everyone else, the pope rides in an armored car but he also rides in a palanquin, right??

[chanelvenus]

5 things tag

I got tagged by @rudebbomb and aaah this seems so cool so!! 

5 Things You’ll Find in my Bag

my 1.5l water bottle in pink :’)

my little pouch filled with all these things you need but keep forgetting like hand lotion and tissues and lip balm and a tiny mirror and bobby pins and shit

some tiny paper cover book abt smth philosophy-ish

g u m ! ! !

my flamingo wallet bitch i love it !!!

5 Things You’ll Find in my Bedroom

probably my rings and earring and watches scattered all over the fucking place smh 

some clothes on the floor :) (:

my big ass dream catcher on the wall 

the laundry basket thats like way too full

a chair full of clothes that are like not dirty but yknow

5 Things I Always Wanted to do in Life

learn another language, by now ive at least decided to learn either russian, polish or czech

be successful and rich???

travel like. everywhere

just be like super educated in movies cultures art and shit

ride a motorcycle? damn 

5 Things I’m Currently Into

yugioh lol

sex and the city !! just finished the last season and now im waiting for the movies to arrive :’)

finiding new german rappers/german rap in general

the nike vapormax jsfhkjdgf im desperate to get one of the next colorways

thrifting i really wanna go on a big thrift trip all through cologne :(

5 Things on my To-Do List

change the bedding

go through the stack of papers on my desk

buy new bleaching stuff for my hair and new wax and shit

inform myself abt a semester abroad in poland

think about when to take a day off from work so i can tell my co worker

5 Things People May Not Know About Me

idk im straight edge? ? 

i love card games like pkmn tcg and yugioh and if i wasnt dumb as fuck id love to try magic but shit seems complicated... i also REALLY wanna try a pen and paper rip 

i actually love math fsdkjhfjkshgkjs im having a class abt philosophy of math and numbers and im so...fucking hype...

i used to have hair to like right above my belly button and now i have shaved sides and longest strand of hair barely goes over my eye amazing

i love piercings and body mod culture but id never get any sort of facial piercing idk man

im tagging uh @eternaltaeil @alittlebitblockbbias @sleepy-cinnamon-roll !!!

[leesh]

I get really annoyed with celebrities because I feel like a lot of the charity that they do is performative. They get all these nice clothes, they get paid a shit ton of money but they don't do anything to TRY to redistribute that wealth/ help others with that money. And I hate it when someone calls celebs out on this and people go "well, what have YOU done?" bitch, I don't have money PERIOD. People should question these celebs who get paid so much money and only use it for themselves

sigh i know and like when ppl make comments like it’s like how do u know whether i’m donating money or clothes or whatever else or not??? like for me personally i’ve never donated so much since i started working lmao there’s always something going on here then there’s things like bday drives for harry and whoever and various other things i’ve donated money for but just because i don’t publicise it it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen??? and that literally wasn’t the point of your message i’m sorry but i’ve had that @ me personally before and it’s so annoying like ya i treat myself sometimes but it also doesn’t mean i don’t give back when i can smhanyway i know omg it’s like there is no way people out there are billionaires because what the fuck do u even do with that money how can u be that fucking rich while ppl are out there begging for food on the streets it’s so uhhhhhbut also on that note i like that thing that came out recently of how harry actually donates so much of the free clothes he gets and it makes me wonder how much he does that we don’t know about yknow? like he’s not one to publicise these things which is nice and it’s the same as the story ed sheeran told w the pizzas