#> no one is ever allowed to have positive memories associated with their work ever again and if you do youre supporting them actively

[moe-broey]

I <3 blowing up my save files mid-playthrough or after I've beaten the game and feel aimless or I'm three hours in and incredibly indecisive and perfectionistic and have to start over Better this time or I just get really into One Idea and blow up the save for the sole purpose of achieving the One Idea and once I have it's like. Well. What was the point of that actually. And then I blow it up again

[bluinary]

Reblogging this before everyone hops on the "you should've known better" train

I'm convinced I have the worst vibes detector of all time. I used to be a fan of Creepshow Art, iilluminaughtii, and James Somerton- all high-profile creators who got their careers tanked because they're bad people. Given the absolutely huge number of creators I subscribe to it's not surprising that this has happened multiple times, but still.

Then again, when I expressed this sentiment in the past and kicked myself for not being more aware of the red flags, someone told me that means I just want to see the good in people and am more willing to forgive faults than others are. I think that's spot-on tbh; I'm a very naive and forgiving person, which has often been taken advantage of. But it's just my nature, I can't help it.

This will inevitably happen to me again, but I'd rather not beat myself up over not constantly being attuned to every red flag people give off.

[neonspectrumdreams]

Guide to Voluntary Switching

I/we have known we are a system for around a decade now. One of the most helpful things we have ever learned to do is switching on command. Believe it or not, although it may not feel possible, it is possible to control switching. Sometimes it is harder to do and the switch may not last long, but overall it is very possible to learn how to consistently switch in and out as needed. We are a traumagenic system but this should work for other types of systems as well.

One useful application of this skill is for studying. The alter who learns information is the one with the easiest access to this information. It is possible to keep track of who studied and deliberately call them out when the information is needed.

It is also a great skill to use when processing trauma during therapy. It makes accessing dissociated materials that are specific to one alter much easier. It can help access alters with traumatic memories during something like an EMDR session. Outside of therapy, voluntarily accessing other alters has a wide variety of uses related to accessing compartmentalized ideas and feelings, or the opposite - switching to a capable alter when a young or traumatized alter is not up to handling an unavoidable responsibility or letting a tired alter rest and allowing a new host to become prominent.

The Skill of Gatekeeping

Gatekeeper alters are a well-known alter type. They are present in many systems. If you are in contact with one or more gatekeeper alters, try to get to know them. They may be able to teach you how to think in the way that they do that allows them to control who is and isn't in the front.. It is also possible to develop a good relationship with a gatekeeper alter and ask them to voluntarily trigger switches as needed. This is one method of learning how to control switching that works for some systems.

From what my gatekeepers have shared,

"gatekeeping is in essence: remembering who everyone is, and remembering how they feel allows you to find them inside and pull them out. There is also a feeling of pushing internally that pushes alters back and temporarily makes them go dormant. "

Alter Relationships

Some alters are closer to other alters. These alters may remember the existence of other alters that others may not remember. They may be able to trigger in alters that are close to them but not to the other alter.

Internal World Dynamics

It is possible to call inside for an alter, ask for them to switch in, and they may in fact switch in, although if they are especially dormant they may not hear this request at all. Do note that just thinking about the other alter may trigger a switch to that alter.

What helps is to make an area inside where alters can be found. This could be a specific room or place for each individual alter, or a general meeting area. It can be easy to find alters there because if you last remember seeing them inside somewhere, going back to that place sometimes allows you to access them much more easily. Grouping alters that want to front together/more frequently into a similar place can help them co-front together and find each other more conveniently to trigger switches.

Positive Triggers

All alters have certain things that they are passionate about and interested in. Many alters have specific roles that they automatically come out to perform when the situation calls for it. Pay attention to these triggers. If there is a certain behavior or situation that calls out an alter, make note of that. If an alter especially enjoys doing something, doing that activity can trigger them out - as can even just thinking about doing the activity. If an alter really likes something the other alters do not have a particular preference for, keeping a reminder of this thing around can trigger a switch. If this trigger is easily encountered voluntarily, it can be used to call out the alter.

Network of Associations

All of our alters and other types of thoughtforms are connected to memories and ideas that belong to them. The brain can only process so much information at once, so all living forms within the mind cannot be active at once. The information that is salient in our mind determines who is fronting. The brain can be tricked into pushing specific alters to the front by activating information that is associated with this alter and pushing away information that is not.

Memories

All alters are connected to at least a few memories. These are typically memories that they were personally present for - but could also be memories of creative or analytical ideas, or memories of having a strong emotional reaction about something. This often comes with a sense(s) of nostalgia that is associated with the alter and often occurs when the alter fronts. Remember each one for each alter. Some may overlap. This sense of nostalgia as well as any of these associated pieces of cognitive information, such as specific memories or ideas, can be used to voluntarily switch. They may also have an area of the internal world that is associated with them where they may easily be found.

Essence

Each alter has a distinct sense of self. Particularly in systems with strong amnesia barriers, it may be difficult or impossible to directly experience this firsthand. If it is possible to remember what it feels like to be them when they are present, this can be used to trigger a switch.

Using These Associations to Make the Switch Happen

Reflect on something associated with the alter, and the feeling of their nostalgia or what it feels like to be them. This will usually trigger a switch within a few minutes of doing this constantly or repeating it every few minutes. It may help to pay attention to what areas are active in the internal world as you do this. Try to go to areas where you know that alter often is; you may make a meeting area for the purpose of these voluntary switches to make this easier. Keep talking inside to see if they respond and are co-present. Once you feel their sense of self, imagine yourself/feel yourself mentally falling behind them and push yourself backwards inside. As they begin doing things outside of the mind in the real world, eventually you will either become coconscious, you remain present but are somewhat dissociated and may only be active in the internal world/mind's eye, or a full switch will happen and you won't even notice you're gone.

Types of Triggered Switches

It is possible to trigger a full switch (either one with or without coconsciousness,) as well as to trigger partial switches. Partial switches happen when an alter is awakened and present in some form, for instance they may be able to converse or remember events, but they do not fully front.

Coconsciousness

It is common for voluntary switches to lead to a switch wherein the triggered alter fully fronts and switches in while the original alter that provoked the switch also remains present. If this type of switch is specifically desired, it can be achieved by making an agreement with the alter that is going to switch in. Together, one alter can remember to trigger the other alter whenever they notice the other is not present, and this keeps them present at the same time. If co-consciousness is difficult for a system, this may feel like playing tag at first as both alters get used to the skill of triggering switches.

Complete Switch

Complete switches are common in response to voluntary switching. If the switching alters are all in agreement, they can maintain a planned switch by engaging in a voluntary switching method to keep the intended alter in the front. It can help to have a place in the internal world where they can go to symbolize they are leaving the front and going inside. The alter that has switched in can use the voluntary switching methods as a grounding technique to reduce dissociation and keep that particular alter in front. Particularly in dissociative systems, the brain naturally attempts to depersonalize which causes cyclical personality switching; grounding on the essence of that alter's sense of self reduces this dissociation and keeps them in front.

Ground to Maintain

It is common for the triggered switch to not last for very long. You may need to trigger the switch multiple times before it sticks. It helps if the alter switching in tried to ground themselves. If you remain co-conscious, which can happen in a succesful triggered switch, it can help to reflect on the stimulus (such as the feeling of the alter or their memories or favorite things) you used to trigger the switch to help solidfy and maintain the switch.

Fatigue

It can feel mentally exhausting to try to trigger a switch too many times. It is not uncommon to have to trigfer a switch multiple times, failing each time before giving up. Sometimes, you just cannot trigger a switch at all for some inexplicable reason. Don't be afraid to give up for a bit and try again later. It gets easier the more you practice. Don't be discouraged.

Host Switching

It happens to us all from time to time - our host(s) becomes tired or depressed and needs a break. Maybe our host is functional but is not as interested in daily life as another alter that would like a more active role in their life (perhaps because it involves something that is a positive trigger for them.) There is a way of chronically using these alter switching techniques to change hosts.

In order to change hosts, you have to trigger a switch to the intended new host frequently. Some people set an alarm on their phone to trigger a switch several times a day (depends on how long the triggered switch lasts), or make an in-system agreement to always trigger the intended host when host responsibilities (like going to the doctor or paying bills or going to class or eating) come up.

By chronically triggering a switch to a different host, over time (a few days to a few weeks, generally) this becomes the system's default pattern of switching.

Hostile Uses of Deliberate Switching

Remain in good communication with your alters and make sure that the switching alters are okay with what is happening. Don't try to force alters that don't want to leave to go away, and don't try to force alters that don't want to be present to the front. Going against an alter's will can feel painful at the moment and can cause long term problems if it becomes a chronic habit.

[jacevelaryonswife]

You Really Got Me | Part two | Professor!Michael Gavey x fem!student reader

summary: Suddenly, Michael felt vulnerable, exposed and fragile. Every year of love failure emerged drastically from a blocked corner of his heart. And he didn't like that.

a/n: sorry for the late update guys, I hope u all like it!

word count: 4k

tags: slow burn, power imbalance, slight angst

part one | ewanverse masterlist

Just this time.

It was a surprise for Michael when you showed interest in working with him. He hated being an idiot, he did, but he didn't expect a girl with your appearance to try so hard to work with him. He met many like you in his years of bachelor's degree; beautiful, cool, wealthy and socially successful thanks to daddy’s money. A privilege he never had. And he hated that. Hated it even more that most didn’t care enough about their own education while his life was molded in a continuous effort to obtain a small fraction of the success that his classmates had just because they were born into the right family.

The only thing he could count with was his mind. It's always been like that. And it was the reason for his hard-working social ascension.

Still, he knew that it was wrong to assume stereotypes at that point in life, but he couldn’t avoid such an association until you proved him to be more than deceived. Your performance was brilliant and your grades perfect, the complementary activities you performed were good, but they could be better. And he could do that; he could really elevate his experiences.

The only problem was you.

Well, him, actually.

He wasn’t good with women, he never was, not even with his ex-girlfriend.

He made improvements over the years, made good and loyal friends, although his love life had never fully geared. And that was a problem, because you didn’t present yourself as a love interest, even if his heart beat faster whenever you looked his way.

It was just loneliness, he tried to convince himself, and you were a gorgeous and smart girl. It was wrong, he knew, he was your bloody professor and that could never happen.

Michael truly made an effort not to get lost in those thoughts and not to abuse the power of his position. He didn't want to compromise the promising future in your relationship and that worked for a long time. Until that night.

The invitation to his flat was purely impulsive. The excuse he used? The biggest bullshit ever. And the most aggravating thing: you agreed with the idea. What the fuck was that?

He didn't believe it when you accepted the invitation. He didn't believe it when you entered his home. Not even when you leaned over to kiss him with fear and tenderness, or when he took off your clothes and touched your body, or when you were moaning below him.

Or when he couldn't stop thinking that night.

It's been three weeks since what happened, but his restless mind bombarded memories during all hours of the day.

Your voice, your face, your touch.

Kissing, touching, fucking.

Even in his dreams, you slept next to him since the rain did not allow your return home, waking up the other day with the most sensual shyness he has ever seen. It was necessary to activate all the locks on his body so that he wouldn’t have you again. He offered to take you home that morning, but there was nothing innocent in the request.

And then, there was the awkward feeling after the forbidden sex between co-workers. Obviously, as good adults none of you touched on the subject when you returned to lab, maintaining the false facade of normality, especially in front of Paul, his class of MMaths. Although only the necessary was said between the two of you, the exchanged glances revealed a bubbling intensity difficult to control, which consumed every active neuron in his brain.

He recognized the heat in your eyes, he believed it to be reciprocal, which made everything even more dangerous.

It can't happen again.

He tried to convince himself of that at least four times a day.

Another thing he often did again as soon as he got home was to masturbate. One, two, three times, like a horny teenager when watching bad porn. Thinking about you. Did you do the same when you remember of me? Did you want more? Because even though he refused to admit it, he wanted you.

═════════════════════

Michael was tired of correcting exams, exhausted, to be honest. His head and eyes hurt and a sudden need to stretch his legs made him get up from his office chair and go outside of the laboratory, which was separated by a door. However, something made him stop when he reached the handle.

"Oi, do you remember my friend James from physics? He asked if you're dating someone,” he heard Paul ask.

“Really?” You asked back.

"Yeah, he's really interested."

"Oh... I didn't expect that," you said, "well... I got involved with a person recently, it's complicated."

Fuck.

"I see, but if you decide to change your mind, let me know. I'm gonna have lunch, do you want something?”

“Nah, I'm good.”

“Okay, tell Michael I'll be back later.”

“Sure.”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

What the fuck he's supposed to do now?

At the same time that his body froze, the palms of his hands began to sweat and a brief panic filled his chest. How would he solve that problem? Did you expect something else to happen? Did you want it? Or was it just a polite refusal? His brain was working at a thousand per second while new unknowns emerged. He needed to talk to you, anything, but how? What was there to say about what happened? Cautiously, he opened the door in search of your presence and tried to stay calm when your eyes met his with a smile contained in your lips.

“Good afternoon professor, Paul has gone-” Fuck that.

"We need to talk," he interrupted you abruptly, nervously.

“... okay,” you murmured with big eyes, moving in the chair.

He took a deep breath, staring at you. "I heard what you said to Paul before he left. Was it about me?"

Your posture hardened under his eyes, your eyes widened with questioning. He got you. He was impassive to find out the truth, anxious, almost obsessed.

"Yes, it was," you replied with your eyes down.

Okay.

What next?

“... okay.” His mouth dried up and a large gray image formed in his mind. What should he say now?

Do you still think about what happened? About me?

"Do you want to say something else?" You broke the established uncomfortable silence, making him sigh and close his eyes. He wanted to touch you. Your face, your hair, your lips...

"We need to talk about what happened," he lowered his head in a low voice and less determined than before. Just stop tormenting my thoughts.

“I know, but I don't know what to say exactly,” your voice was firmer than before as you got up and to face it. “I don't regret what happened. I was attracted to you, you're handsome, intelligent, and I really wanted to do what I did.”

Really?

Did you really want to?

His reasoning froze. No woman had said such things before, never, not even his ex-girlfriend. And that caught him off guard. The appreciation in your words heated his heart and radiated through his cheeks like an embarrassed teenager. He didn't know how to deal with that feeling.

Suddenly, Michael felt vulnerable, exposed and fragile. Every year of love failure emerged drastically from a blocked corner of his heart.

And he didn't like that.

He didn't like to feel vulnerable, he didn't like to relive sensations that his brain couldn't contain.

“And I know can't happen again, you're my professor, you're new in here and that can fuck your job. I don't want that to happen,” you added.

"I know," he said after a while. "I don't regret it either," he touched the left side of your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb "Not a little."

He captured the moment your lips broke, remaining motionless in front of you, inhaling the charming and spring perfume you wore, feeling your hands lean on his chest while breathing deeper, closer and closer.

So close that your faces were almost together.

Who did he want to deceive? He wanted more. Your touch, your kiss, your scent.

And apparently you shared the same desire, since your lips collided against his fervently, wrapping your hand around the back of his neck. He reciprocated the kiss at the same intensity, holding your waist and back, moving his lips deliciously. Your fingers pushed the hair of the back of his head, making him sigh softly during the kiss, pulling you closer, needy for more of you.

Not giving time for the end, Michael started another kiss as he leaned your back against the bench, holding both sides of your face while exploring your mouth with his tongue. It was so good, so right, that he almost forgot about the inappropriate location. Almost. What made him break the kiss.

“Someone can come in at any moment,” he whispered against your lips, sighing again.

"What are we going to do about it?" You asked as you lean your face to his, eyes closing.

After that, he had solved that problem. Rationally? With all the implications in force, nothing should happen. Emotionally? He would go all the way, he wanted you.

But which choice would be appropriate?

And why did his heart stand out so much in that decision? Because suddenly, the consequences didn't matter. It was impulsive, he knows, but who cares?

"I don't want this to stop," he confessed, holding you close.

"Me neither," you whispered, looking directly into his eyes now.

When did it become so intimate?

═════════════════════

And then, sneaking into Michael Gavey's flat became your secret routine. Sometimes you would take an innocent ride with your professor when it was late. Sometimes he found you somewhere far from known presences. Sometimes you would go to his house on Saturday morning and come back on Sunday night. Despite the risk, you were addicted to his smell, his touch and his company (and having sex with him).

That spring afternoon, while you were talking about your hobbies, you told him about your culinary skills and the idea of making pizza for dinner was sudden and welcome. Obviously he didn't have any suitable refractory, but he offered to go to the utensils store that was two blocks away, leaving you with restless and palpable thoughts. What if someone found out? Discretion was essential among you, but affliction and fear were always lurking. He can't be fired because of me. I can't get involved with my advisor. Your heart burned with the present complication in the situation, making you fall dramatically on the couch. How easy was it to surrender to the impulses of the heart, even if improper and dangerous?

Fortunately Michael came back in time to avoid your nervous breakdown, finding you in your panties and one of his old T-shirts that said "that's how I roll".

Without you noticing, he spent a long time admiring you, still standing holding the bags with other useful utensils and a hard stick.

"Hey, sorry, I didn't hear you coming."

And then, you saw that look. That impulsive and almost animalistic side that he had under his methodical persona and that you loved.

You sucked him to the last drop when the bags fell to the floor, going to prepare the pizza dough excitedly afterwards, temporarily forgetting any previous fear of your relationship. As a good lover, Michael returned the favor and delighted himself between your thighs while the dough rested, pulling a white and hot orgasm from you.

"Did you like it?" He asked with a conscious smile, cleaning your sweet juices and leaning over to leave soft kisses on your forehead.

"Do you still ask?" You laughed breathlessly and wrapped yourself in his arms, resting your head against his chest, being packed by his hands afterwards.It was affectionate, intimate and calm.

“You looked great with my T-shirt, by the way,” he murmured against your hair, breathing your smell.

“It's quite nerdy, you know,” you mocked, tracing circles on his arm.

"We're nerds," he smiled and held you closer. “Two big fucking nerds.”

“Definitely.”

The following hours were lazy. The kitchen was pleasantly warm as you transferred the dough to the form while Michael separated the remaining ingredients. All Day and All The Night from The Kinks made you two hum and once in a while his hands circled your waist under protests so that he wouldn't burn the sauce. Although the softness of the situation pleasantly involved you, suddenly, a discharge of reality hit your heart and brain at the same time.

Cooking together, wearing his shirt, cuddling him. So intimate, so dangerous, for you and him both. Damn conscience that constantly reminded you of the fact. Or damn foolishness for letting that happen?

“You're okay?”

What?

“What? Oh- yeah, I - I’m just thinking a lot," you stuttered, lowering your head, trying not to leave loopholes in your behavior that could intrigue you.

“About what?” But when it comes to Michael Gavey, any detail was relevant.

But then, touches came from the door and freed you from making a lie that might not convince you. "I'll be right back," Michael murmured as he adjusted his glasses, leaving you alone with a glaring mind and a pizza to finish. Fortunately the manual work entertained most of your thoughts, although the sound of the door closing with Michael outside did not go unnoticed by you, much less the minutes he spent outside. Whatever was happening left you alert and tempted to spy, but as soon as the impulse was generated, a stunned and restless Michael entered the house.

“Something happened?” You looked at him worried, approaching.

His eyes were fixed on the ground below your feet, turbulent and apathetic expression, strong breathing and trembling hands.

"My ex-girlfriend showed up. She wanted to come in, talk..." he started, still looking down, "She left three years ago, just suddenly decided that didn't love me anymore and left." Oh God. "... I didn't expect that."

Jesus Christ.

Your hands shook his face immediately and pulled him for a hug. “I'm so sorry.”

He was reluctant to accept comfort before wrapping his arms in your body, taking a deep breath, cloistering you, supporting himself, falling down.

"I didn't expect her. I waited for a long time for her to regret and come back to me, but she changed her number, job and city. She just left and never looked back."

Unprepared, just like him, you tried your best to comfort him. "You didn't deserve that, Michael, I'm really sorry."

For a long, long time, you kept him in your arms, in silence and motionless, just holding him, protecting him, trimming him. You didn't immediately notice when he finally found your eyes, but when he did, he came across a hitherto unknown countenance where sadness, confusion and defeat mixed.

A version not yet seen, but so lost and sensitive that it made your heart hurt for him.

“Thank you,” he held your face with his hands keeping you close. Unfortunately, you knew that feeling very well. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Still part of his gaze remained turbulent, the man you admired so much seemed to have returned. “Just stay here.”

Who were you to deny that?

Even with the uncertainty about your relationship, you couldn't abandon him now, you couldn't complicate his head and heart, not after that, not when he needed you.

“Sure.”

The rest of the night was spent almost all in silence. You didn't want to address a painful subject for him, mainly because of his reaction after what happened. It was a complicated situation, especially when your own head was bubbling - however, the need to make him comfortable and know that he was well built strongly. "If you want to talk about what happened, I'll listen," you said during the break of a random episode of doctor who, snuggled up to him on the couch. For a long second, Michael remained silent, feeding your anxiety at the thought that he had gone too far.

"I relived what happened continuously for 745 days, spent a long time thinking about what happened, a really long time, until all the unknowns took the same answer. I'm tired of thinking or talking about her, but I appreciate your concern," he looked at you softly.

"Okay," you smiled and peaked your lips to his, diving back into the comfort of his chest.

═════════════════════

"So, how are things with Gavey?" Miranda asked casually, lying next to you in bed while texting someone.

You swallowed it deep, looking at the wall in front of you. Now, a fun fact: you had not yet told about your situation-ship with Michael.

You thought of several ways to introduce the subject, but no moment seemed right. It was very recent, very inappropriate, very risky. You knew she would never tell someone, much less judge, but a little fear accumulated in your mind. Obviously, the ideal moment would appear soon and you’d reveal your dirty secret. Until then, you would mislead her with an innocent lie.

“I'm fucking him.”

Or not.

“What?!” She almost jumped out of bed, turning completely to face you, her voice rising with each word. "Shut up! Are you serious?! When?! How?! I need all the details.”

And you told her. You told everything. From the first time to what happened to his ex. And of course she got pissed because you omitted the information for two months, but also understood your position.

“I can't fucking believe it, I really need daily updates about all this. I'm being serious.”

You laughed, but humor was the last thing felt.

"I don't know what to do, Miranda," you confessed. "I like Michael, I really do, I don’t know when it started, but what we are doing can generate negative consequences, especially for him, and I can't stop thinking about it. Every time I'm with him I think something can go wrong and it's driving me nuts."

“Oh honey...” She lamented, holding your hand.

"I know what I should do, rationally, but I really don't want to end things, I really like him. He's stabilized, handsome, funny in a very unique way and the sex? Fuck, it’s fucking good, and...” you looked down, “I just wish it wasn't so complicated.”

Taking it out of your chest brought great relief, but not even close to healing such anguish.

"Have you ever talked to him?"

"I wish I had said that night that his ex showed up, but the bitch fucked everything and I couldn't throw this bomb of sentimental confusion at him," you looked at her. "And I know myself, I have to talk to him before I get even more anxious and paranoid."

“Self-knowledge is a blessing,” she shook your hand with a comforting smile. "I’ll be here to support any decision you make."

“Thanks, honey.”

Venting with Miranda appeased part of your fears. That week you were determined to talk to Michael, even if the conclusion was bitter for both of you. It was painful to think about the end of the affair between you, but at the same time it would solve your emotional restlessness. Maybe it would be better this way, maybe all this would be nothing more than an adventure, an experience to be remembered. Maybe it would be better to extinguish the spark before it causes a fire.

Knowing each other very well, you knew that at any moment you would change your mind about your future, but you also knew what needed to be done. Therefore, when he invited you out on Friday night, you had already rehearsed how you would approach the subject.

But Michael decided to surprise you by taking you to dinner in an Italian restaurant far beyond your reality. He also anticipated your protest about the place, assuring that he would pay for everything.

“Oh gosh, no, you don't ne-“

“I insist, no need to worry.” And you knew well that there would be no discussion about it.

The cozy environment with partial lighting was not enough to mitigate the lack of belonging you felt as soon as you entered, but for your luck, everyone seemed too immersed in their worlds to perceive an intruder.

Away from other people, Michael and you sat face to face.

"That's quite a surprise," was the first thing you said when facing his beautiful blue eyes.

"This was the first restaurant I came to when I started making money, I don't know why, I just went ahead and decided to go in. I liked the feeling of being able to finally take the reins of my life, with my own money, and I want you to experience that too," he said, smiling softly at you.

"I'm here with your money," you remember him in a good mood.

"I know, but you'll have yours soon," he touched your hand on the table, watching the waiter politely approach the menu. "Choose what you want, don't care about the price."

And he mean that.

He asked for arancini balls for entry. Even though you’ve never tried it, what could go wrong with risotto balls stuffed with mozzarella cheese?

“So?” He asked excitedly.

"It's really good," you smiled, taking another little ball and leading it towards his mouth, making him laugh before putting everything in his mouth. “The other half was supposed to be mine, but I forgive you.”

"Let me fix that," he repeated the gesture, but you decided to surprise him by licking his finger while maintaining eye contact before eating the arancini. "Are you trying to make me hard in the middle of the restaurant?" He asked quietly, with a hint of fun.

"It's not my intention... yet."

As a main, you chose a classic lasagna and Michael a simple spaghetti bolognese, both accompanied by a Brunello di Montalcino. You weren't a big fan of wine, but you wanted to try the full Italian package.

It's time.

You just felt it.

You had to talk to him.

"So, I need to tell you something," you started, swallowing while you saw it partially hardened. "I... I'm afraid. I'm afraid that someone will find out about us, constantly, and it's driving me crazy. I like you, Michael, I really do, you're fucking intelligent, witty, handsome, but I don't want you to lose your job because of me, that would kill me and that's all I think lately."

He sighed hardly. Collecting his hands and looking down. "I know, this is fucking me too, I can't loose fucking my job.” Suddenly, he seemed nervous about your gaze, as if he was considering something. "I like you too and I don't want this to end, that's why I brought you here," he looked at you with tense eyes. “I think you deserve more than a quickie in my fucking office, you beautiful, smart, hardworking, and I want you to be my girlfriend. Officially.”

What?

“Officially?” You asked surprised, almost panting.

"Yes, I mean it, I want to make this right, I know we can't tell anyone until you graduate, but I want you to be my girlfriend, if you want to."

Whoa whoa. That's huge. Fucking huge. You needed to think about it. You spent weeks succumbing for fear of being caught with your professor, a relationship would certainly not alleviate the feeling, it would just get worse. You couldn't be impulsive and accept-

“Of course I fucking want to,” you almost yelled, holding his hand tightly. “But how we go-“

"The same way we're doing now."

Your chest squeezed with fear, making you look down before answering: "It's just... I don't want to harm you."

"Listen me, if something happens I'm guilty of wanting this situation, not you, it's my choice," he lightly shook your hand.

“I know I'm being paranoid,” you look at him, “But yes, Michael Gavey, I want to be your fucking girlfriend,” you smiled, feeling the famous butterflies in your stomach. "And we can always be more cautious."

He fixed his glasses and returned the smile, an adorable slight red glowing over his cheeks.

"We will.”

——————————————————————————

taglist: @venmondiese @re-per @anukulee @slytherincursebreaker @tulips2715 @rhaenyslay @angelinap09 @cupidelocke @aegonswife @fan-goddess @thenightmistress @deliaseastar @scarletbedlam @delightfulbluebirdstarlight @arcielee @eponaartemisa @donut-seam @marjorieisreading @aemonds-holy-milk @michaels-holy-malik

my beta reader: @moris-auri 💙

[metalomagnetic]

Snippet for It runs

So, I injured myself, and it's difficult finding a comfortable position that would allow me to write, however, since I am now unable to work, I am doing my best to finish the chapter for It runs.

Unfortunately, I can only bear to sit up when I take my pills, and my pills make me a little...ugh...high, so I'll have to revisit what I write when I'm clear of mind.

Until then, here is a little snippet of a tortured mind on pain pills and muscle relaxants.

***

It’s an early afternoon, he’s seated at his desk, and he knows he has to take the ring off, he knows he doesn’t have much longer, that the Horcrux is gaining too much power, too quickly.

So Sirius tries removing it, and he slides it upwards, all the way to the second knuckle-

He blinks, and he’s in Tom’s flat again. His head throbs, he feels nauseous, disorientated at the change of scenery, from day to night, from his office to Tom’s place.

Tom kneels before him, crying. “Don’t abandon me,” he begs. “Please, don’t throw me away! I’ve been alone for so long, Sirius, in the dark, blind, deaf and cold. Please, please don’t throw me away!”

Snap out of it, Sirius tells himself. Wake up!

He blinks, and he’s in his office, collapsed near the desk and his chair.

It’s frightening the ring has this level of control already, that it can control him even when he’s not sleeping-

“Please!” He’s back in the flat, before he knows it, Tom still kneeling, holding on to Sirius’ legs, much like Harry does when he wants something. “I’ve been alone all my life. No one wanted me. No one ever wanted me! Not even him! He threw me away, too- Sirius!”

It breaks his heart, even as something weak and fading fast in his mind yells at him that it’s all a trick, that it’s just a dark artefact using everything it can to keep its hold of Sirius.

But-

He can’t ignore it. It might be a Horcrux, but Voldemort is real, Tom Riddle was once real, and alone, and Sirius cannot abandon him.

It knows it, too, that is why it’s using the word ‘alone’ so much, because it knows it’s something that Sirius always associated with Voldemort, that it always hurt him to imagine him as a child, with no one in his corner.

“You have to stop,” Sirius tells him. “You’re too aggressive, you’re taking too much.”

“I’ll be good,” Tom begs. “Please! You won’t even know I’m here anymore, I’ll stay hidden, anything you want, just don’t throw me away!”

Sirius kneels in front of him, and Tom is so quick, throwing his long arms around Sirius’ neck, hiding his face in Sirius’ shoulder.

“You’ll possess me,” Sirius says, so, so tired.

“No, no, I won’t! I promise! I’ll be good-“

“You’re lying,” he whispers.

Tom is an impression of Voldemort, an amalgamation of his traits and memories, but he’s not the real deal. He doesn’t lie as smoothly as Voldemort.

Maybe because he was too young when he made the Horcrux, or maybe it’s just that a Horcrux could never be as complex as a real human being. Whatever it is, Sirius sees through his lies.

But he can’t stay indifferent to Tom’s pain, his desperation as he hugs Sirius.

That is real, even if Tom isn’t. It’s Sirius’ pain and fear manifested through Tom, stolen by Tom, replicated to perfection, and Sirius cannot stay indifferent to it.

“Let me go.”

“Don’t-“

“I won’t throw you away, but I need you to let me go, now. If you don’t, I’ll pull myself out and then I will take the ring off. I’ll throw you into the fucking ocean.”

Tom draws back, and his eyes are clear, calculating, even as tears are drying on his face.

“You threw him away. He’s suffering, and you won’t help him. Is it not enough you abandoned him? Now you want to get rid of me, too? He gave me to you, trusted you with my safety, and now you’re thinking of betraying him again?”

“I didn’t betray-"

“I know your every thought, all your emotions. You cannot hide from me. I’m meant to absorb it all. And I did the same when he wore me. I saw his every thought, I absorbed every feeling you awoke inside him. His trust in you was unwavering. He didn’t doubt you for a second, when he decided to give me away, when he took me off and transferred me to you. He loved you.”

Tom’s eyes narrow. “Traitor,” he whispers, and he pushes Sirius, hard-

Sirius blinks, and he’s on his back, in his office. He’s shaking, and it takes several tries to stand up.

But it’s quiet, he feels alone, Tom retreating, diminishing his influence over Sirius.

He breathes easier, and he hadn’t realised it’s been hard to breathe lately.

[lu-is-not-ok]

I don't know if this has been mentioned before, but I have a theory about Hong Lu I haven't seen discussed so I was curious of your opinion on it.

As you're aware, there are a few identities where Hong Lu winds up in different jobs bc his grandmother nepo-babied him into different situations (like in the K Corp Class 3 Staff identity) and Hong Lu seems like a generally passive person that moreso allows to let the world happen around him as he rolls with whatever direction the tide takes him (terrible gloom pun intended, sorry).

Maybe I'm wrong, but with what we currently know about him I can't think of a wish that would be important enough for him to go into this whole job with the sinners and abandon his family and life so I've been theorizing his grandmother has a conservatorship or something similar over him and she signed his contract for a wish the family had instead.

Do you have any thoughts, critiques, or corrections for this? You're my favourite limbus blog, so I'm a bit excited to finally have a reason to send an ask in. :)

Thanks!

It's not unlikely for his family to be somehow involved in his employment at Limbus Company, but it is a little bit vague at the moment.

I'm gonna elaborate under a read more cause I got rambly. Also, spoilers from everything up to and including Intervallo 6.5.

We know from the recent Timekilling Time event that the reason Hong Lu isn't with his family right now is because he was told by his elders to explore and learn as much as possible. The way he describes it makes it fairly clear that him leaving his family home wasn't exactly his own choice, but rather something he's doing because he was told to.

This is however where things get a bit less clear. It's possible that his family sent him directly to Limbus Company, knowing that it would lead to him gathering a lot of experience. It's also possible that they just sent him out to do this on his own without much guidance, and when he came across Limbus Company it was his own wish for them to help him achieve the goal the family set out for him.

Identity-wise, it's important to note that the only Hong Lu identities that directly reference being put into the job by his family are once where he is working for Wings, that being K Corp and W Corp.

His Liu Identity also references his family, but doesn't make a direct connection between his spot at Liu and the influence of his elders, rather simply implying that he's unable to escape their influence in his position.

None of his Syndicate Identities really mention his family, which makes sense considering they're the least likely position that his elders would want him to have, but interestingly enough his other Association Identity, Dieci, doesn't reference his family either.

I think it's notable, since arguably his Dieci Identity would be the one where he's able to satiate his curiosity the most, and yet does not reference the idea of his family wanting that out of him at all. That could be potentially explained through the whole Dieci thing of removing their knowledge when they use it in exchange for combat prowess, especially since Hong Lu as a Key seems to be a lot more affected by that exchange, outright losing memories of where he is and why he's there upon spending his knowledge. It's not unlikely that this exchange might have led him to just. Forgetting about his family. Which would be fucking hilarious honestly.

Anyway, all that being said - Hong Lu's family is only ever directly involved when the position he ends up in has some form of... let's call it prestige attached to it, like that of a Wing's feather or an Association Fixer. On the other hand, they seem to be completely out of the picture when the position he ends up in is undesireable, like a Syndicate or low-grade Fixer Office.

This is where we have to consider the nature of Limbus Company as an entity. We know it's a large enough company to have considerable financial backing, sponsors, and be able to absorb other corporate entities like Moses' Fixer Office into itself. At the same time though, it is still almost entirely unknown to the wider world of the City, often not being taken seriously in the slightest by almost everyone.

Would Limbus Company be considered prestigious enough for Hong Lu's family to care to directly involve themselves in getting him the position? Or is it such a small scale entity that they don't care as long as Hong Lu is fulfilling the goal they gave him on his own?

Either way, his family and the orders they gave him are still likely to be his main reason for joining Limbus Company, it's just the matter of how deep their involvement actually goes.

[weixuldo]

Allow me// ch 13

Vader x Reader

a/n: so this one is kinda short but is necessary for the plot!! we’ll have some vader and reader interactions in the next chapter!!! :) ty for the support!!!

Vader has been gone longer than anticipated…

warnings: cursing, angst, harm, body horror?, cannon typical violence

_____________________

You walked down the brightly lit corridor with a small transport droid behind you; it carried your tool bag and some parts that had to be specially ordered to fix one of the hyper speed engines. 

Once you reached your destination you swiped your security badge and the deep belly of the ship opened its maw to you. The machinery and technology that allowed the vessel to operate was all at the tip of your fingers. 

You had always wanted to come down here and surprisingly you hadn’t ever had a reason to, but before Vader left to meet with his master he noticed the engines had been running at lower parsecs than usual and asked you to take a look. 

The Executor had been docked on Hoth so that you could inspect and repair the engines (otherwise you would be vaporized if you attempted to inspect them while they ran).

You had actually never been to the icy planet and were excited to see a few sights before going back into space. Vader told you that he would take you on a stroll when he got back- he knew how much you loved exploring new systems and biomes (a conversation of one of your many late night talks). 

Hopefully the meeting between Vader and the Emperor went well and you could debrief with V later today.

Earlier you had seen Palpatine’s ship go off to another system, so that seemed to be a good sign.

Though, you hadn’t heard from Vader yet- but it was common for you not to hear from him until later in the day- especially when you had a demanding task; so you didn’t think much of it.

___________________________

Vader’s mind was consumed with painful memories and the anguish his body was currently feeling as he laid on the burning shores of Mustafar.

His prosthetic ports ached and the flames licking at the metal didn't help the surviving skin that surrounded them. 

Half of him was just ready to give up- He had been in this same position before and chose to cling onto life, but what did that life provide him?

Days of pain and suffering in a suit that would be his coffin, mental anguish over the decisions he had made, manipulation from the man he was supposed to be working with… all he was here for was being a weapon of the empire. He didn’t matter. 

All of this re-lived pain because he aided his dead wife’s handmaiden (who knew that he was Anakin and told him Padme’s last words were ”there’s still good in him”).

He didn’t know if there was still good in him- if everytime he attempted to prove his wife’s last words true, he got punished; how would he go on trying to be good?

But on the other hand; why live if there was no good in him- why bring more suffering into the galaxy? 

In his moment of thought the bank of the river started sliding and he felt the heat intensifying by his legs. In defeat he closed his eyes; what else was there to live for?

The last time he was here, Padme was what kept him going. At the time he thought she was still alive and he needed her. He stayed alive for her, he dragged his mutilated body across the burning coals to get back to her. 

He remembered the pain he felt when he found out she had passed… he would not survive news like that again…

In that instance a burst of color flooded the nothingness of his closed eyes; beautiful greens, blues, and purples.

Soon the colors started forming images, images of you. Your smile, your hair, the adorable look on your face when you finished a big project, the look you gave him before falling asleep curled up to his side. 

You. 

He needed to get back to you.

In his panicked state he pushed you far from his mind; never would he want to associate suffering with you. But now he understood, you were his motivation.

His pillar of light, his guiding hand.

His eyes shot open when realized that was a double edged sword; yes, you were his reason to live, but he also knew that his master loved to manipulate him… and he would spare no soul who would give him more power. 

And now Vader wasn’t there to protect you.

As he slipped further down and the flames began to lick at his already burnt skin, his eyes widened and he gripped the gravely bank with all of his might. He was going to come home to you. 

He needed to get back, he needed to make sure Palpatine didn’t do anything drastic (the emperor already intervened in his previous relationship and he would not let that happen again). 

His desperation and worry soon became anger and pure rage- the thought of Palpatine laying a hand on you made Vader livid. 

After he made his grueling crawl up the scolding shores he wasn’t even thinking about his recovery time and procedures he would need done once he got back; all he could think about was making sure you were safe. 

_________________________________

You usually at least saw Vader once a day, even if for only a short period of time, so you were rightfully anxious when you hadn’t seen him in almost 48 hours.

No matter how much you tried to ignore it you couldn't help but worry about him; the other night he told you he had to meet his master, most likely under unfavorable circumstances…

Would the emperor have done something to him? He couldn’t have, Vader was his strongest, right?

Plus Palpatine left the other day…

Your brows knit together as you tried to fall asleep; why were you so worried?

Vader was a grown man who was more than capable of taking care of himself. You just needed to stop being “worst-case scenario”-

Wait. 

You sucked in a sharp breath when you realized that you couldn’t sense Vader’s force signature; the more you thought about it, you hadn’t felt it this whole time- you were too wrapped up in your work to notice. 

But, again… He was perfectly equipped to handle himself…yeah- no need to worry. 

No need.

…

…..

…….

As much as you wanted to believe what you were telling yourself, your gut told you something was wrong. And you’d be damned if you were just going to sit here and let that worry fester. 

You knew the Emperor was scheduled to come back aboard tomorrow morning to oversee a transport. You could act dumb and attempt to coax information out of him; It was definitely a lofty and irrational idea, but what else was there to do?

________________________________

The air was thick with dread and tension as you slowly made your way up to the loading dock with your helper droid that carried your tools. You pretended to tinker with one of the ventilator shafts until Palpatine was within your view. 

After a few shipments were packed and transported, you took a breath and headed towards the emperor. 

Only a few steps away and his sickening yellow eyes landed on you; in a panic you bowed to him and rushed out an apology. 

“Stand, my young friend” he spoke with a curious tone. 

You did as the sith asked and allowed him to examine your features. 

“What troubles you?” he asked, placing a wiry clawed hand on your back. You hold back a shiver. 

“I am one of Lord Vader’s mechanic’s and I have not received another task from him in a few days. I have finished all of my pending duties and I worry the Lord will become angry if he returns and I have not accomplished anything further” you spoke formally and as if you had no idea where he had gone. 

“I was debating whether or not to approach you. I know you are a very busy man, but I also know that you are my Lord’s superior, so you may have a more urgent task I can attend to- I would rather not putter around and waste the empire’s time”.

The hooded man smiled a toothy grin, “Ahh, young one- your ambition pleases me. I may have a task for you, but first what is the other question you wish to ask?”.

You did have another question, but you didn’t think you indicated that you had one.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you knew where my Lord went off to? It’s not like him to disappear without letting his staff know” (that wasn’t entirely true, but you might as well see what you can get out of the old man).

“I’m not sure where he’s gone off to, hopefully he will return to you soon. I can tell he means a great deal to you” the pale man creepily smiled before dismissing himself to attend to other matters. 

Shit. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything. 

_________________________

Vader groaned in pain as the mouse droid he just rewired began to fuse a random droid’s leg to his port; He needed to be able to walk somehow and this is the best he could do as of now. 

He knew it was going to hurt like hell when he would eventually have to get it seared off (He wouldn’t be able to get his new prosthetics on without getting this replacement leg off.)

Once he was relatively put together he prepared himself to hoist himself up. He winced at the pressure of his weight on the unfamiliar legs, but nevertheless, he pressed on.

He made his way through the dingy compound, looking for ways out and back to you. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a low level bounty hunter. Did this fool really think he could take Vader? 

Without any effort, Vader slammed the armed man against the opposite wall once he started to get too close.

If there was one, there were more, Vader needed to get out of here before a real threat came his way…

***

a/n: thanks for bearing with me through finals eeekkk sorry i’ve been on an atrocious upload schedule

taglist: @vadersassistant @sxoulohvn @khaleesihavilliard @kashasenpai i @darling-murdock @beautifulbearpolice @salvatoresister1 @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @blueninjablade3 @jujuba096 @missmannequin @jellydodger @mirastark @wyvernthekriger @duckyhowls @monada43 @lauriidoesstuff @vienettacream @ray-rook @itswhatever06 @ilovenielperry

[ihatelink]

Trust Fall (Revali X Reader) - Part 1

Word Count: 2,780

Pairing: Revali X Reader (Female)

Fandom/Universe: Legend of Zelda (Breath of The Wild)

Themes/Content: Romance (Slow Burn), Fantasy, Action.

Warnings: None

Synopsis: You visit your friend in Rito Village in order to escape the sense of dread looming over your home of Castle Town as the prophesied doomsday slowly grows closer. It is here on your visit that you meet a Rito warrior who turns your world upside-down.

Authors Note: Finally got round to writing this! Since he's not mentioned in TOTK at all I just had to start a fanfic for him. I miss him so much. I'm uploading this from my laptop so if the formate is weird or there needs to be more paragraphs just let me know! I don't consider myself a pro on Zelda lore so I do apologise for any mistakes. Also, this fan fiction will have two endings! (One canon to BOTW and one canon to Hyrule Warriors) Other than that, I hope you enjoy! - I don't know what to call myself... should I go by my username? What about something stupid like Loafus?... I don't know... I'll work on it 🪶🤎

Rito Village was your second home. You felt so much comfort and associated the place with such a feeling of warmth, it was surprising you hadn't made it your permanent residence. When it came to Rito Village you only had positive memories.

This was mostly due to your best friend, Frita, being a rito. The two of you had met at a very young age and had been best friends ever since, visiting each other every couple of weeks or whenever you had spare time. She would teach you about the ways of the rito and you in turn would teach her about hylians. Frita truly was like a sister to you, and you loved her more than words could say.

"Daydreaming again?", her voice broke you from your thoughts, her bright blue eyes sparkling with joy. You blinked a few times, finally registering her words, and you couldn't help but giggle to yourself. "Yes, I guess I was". "What we're you daydreaming about?", she asked, turning her attention back to the salmon sizzling in the village's communal cooking pot, the aroma swirling through the air, making your mouth water in anticipation. Later in the night was the perfect time for cooking here as most ritos had gone to sleep; Their poor night vision meant that many would retire early in the evening. "Just thinking about flying", you confess sheepishly and Frita rolled her eyes playfully, responding with, "You're always thinking about flying". "I can't help it whenever I'm here. You all look so majestic and free", you gushed. "I would love to be able to experience what it's like to fly for myself instead of having to be on your back". "Perhaps if you pray to Hylia enough she'll allow you to become one of us", she chuckled and you couldn't help but laugh along with her. Frita eventually added the tebantha wheat to the pot and the goat butter as the two of you talked about everything under the stars. "Are you still planning on moving to Hateno Village?", she asked as she began to plate up your dinners. "Yes, unfortunately. It means I'll  be further away from you", you mumbled and Frita's face fell in disappointment. "It's the best option as, if this impending doom really is to show itself one day, the city centre is most likely one of the first places to be attacked. If I could, I'd love to live here with you". "Well, why don't you?". You shook your head. "You know I'd stick out like a sore thumb here. I wouldn't be able to pull my weight or help the village in any way. I'd be more of a burden than anything". "Perhaps not! If I could find a way for you to easily integrate into life here, would you move here?". The more Frita spoke, the more you felt a warmth spread through your entire being. "You'd have me, you'd be well protected- our warriors are exceptional, there's plenty of food and resources in the area… just don't make any final decisions to move just yet. Allow me a chance". You chuckled, taken aback by your friends willingness to help you and keep you by her side. "Okay, I'll give you a chance".

You cut yourself short when you noticed movement out of your peripheral vision. The gentle padding of talloned footsteps grew closer and bright emerald green eyes encased in bright red watched from the darkness. Finally a rito came into view. "Rather late to be cooking, don't you think?". His tone was sharp and precise, you couldn't tell if he was making small talk or if he was irritated with the fact that the two of you were occupying the cook pot. Did he usually use it at this time? "Oh! Revali! Sorry, did you want to use the cooking pot", Frita asked, a light quality to her voice as she politely addressed him, yet an awkward silence seemed to settle over the three of you as his eyes travelled from her to settle on you, staring down his beak right into your very soul. "Who is this hylian?", he asked bluntly. "This is my best friend. She's visiting for a short while", she informed him of your name and that you were from Castle Town. "Would you care to join us?", you then offered, cutting through the awkward pause in conversation. "We have plenty to go around". Frita cut you a glance, surprised by your sudden offer, but did not protest, adding "Yes, do join us! I'm assuming you've just finished practice? You must be famished". Revali opened his beak but quickly shut it, perhaps to reject the offer but thought better of it. He took a moment to smooth out the cream scarf around his neck. "Well, if you insist, I suppose I could join you", he hummed, making his way to sit across from you.

As he took his seat, he placed a beautifully crafted bow to his side, coated in vibrant colours and intricate designs, a scrap of teal fabric tied to one end. He held himself with pride, sitting tall, spine straight, shoulders squared. With the fact that he was taller than you, it was a little intimidating. "Have you visited our village before?", he asked, and it took you a second to realise his question was directed towards you. "Oh yes, plenty of times. I've been visiting since I was a child. That's how I met Frita", you explained, gesturing to your friend as dinner was being dished onto plates chiselled from stone. "Hmm, surely I would have met you by now if that were the case", he muttered as he was handed his food, "it's interesting how our paths have never crossed". You shrugged unsure of what else to say, other than, "Perhaps we weren't meant to meet yet. Us meeting now may be fate?", you laughed lightly, amused by the thought. Revali scoffed in response, "I believe we are in control of our own fate. For example; I didn't become one of the greatest rito warriors through fate and sheer dumb luck alone". "And so modest about it too", you joked which caused Frita to just about choke on her food. She tried to excuse herself as calmly as possible, covering her beak with her wing while still coughing her lungs up. Judging by her reaction, you considered how you may have overstepped a boundary. Not everyone knew when you were joking upon first meeting you. You often sounded more serious than you intended. "I'm only teasing", you clarified, playing with your food on the end of your fork absentmindedly. "I'm sure you're  more than deserving of the title", you tried for your most sincere smile you could conjure, yet Revali didn't seem convince.

Finally, Frita had caught her breath, tears in the corners of her eyes. "No no, Revali really is the greatest of our warriors. Our people gave him that title", she croaked, her throat sounding raw from coughing. "He's the pride of the rito", she insisted, dropping her voice to a more serious tone. Your face contorted in amused disbelief before you began to wrack your brain for any information that would help you deduct the truth. "So he is the rito that's won the annual archery competition for the past five years? He's that same-…", you began to trail off, recalling the conversation you had with your father.

You came from a wealthy family, both your parents working for the King and late Queen of Hyrule . Your mother was the royal gerudo correspondent and your father was the royal rito correspondent- this being the reason you spent so much time in Rito Village growing up, as well as Gerudo Town. You remembered the past few years you couldn't make the annual archery competition held in the village, since you were either accompanying your mother on business trips or doing your own work, but you father had come home stating how the rito 'Revali' had won again. He would then follow up by talking about his superb skills and how his talent for aerial combat were superior in comparison to his peers. Your father claimed that the rito was unmatched and unrivalled, as well as claiming that he may very soon be known as one of- if not the most skilled warrior in all of Hyrule. (Which was very high praise coming from your father, since he was rarely impressed by anyone).

It was like a shock wave was sent through your body. "In the name of Hylia! I didn't realise it was you! I am so sorry! Please forgive my rudeness", you blubbered, putting your half eaten dinner aside, stumbling over your words as you rushed out your apology. "So you have heard of me", he lulled before an amused smirk graced his features. "I suppose I can forgive you since your rudeness was more disbelief than pure ignorance". "Thank you”, you breathed a sigh of relief. “I have heard a lot about your skills and I-… well…", once again you had trailed off. You looked to Frita for reassurance, yet she seemed as nervous as you; her posture was stiff as she sat with a straight spine, her eyes glancing between you and the navy rito. "From what I've heard, you're an incredibly skilled archer", you approached the conversation cautiously, hoping this angle would amend any bitterness you may have caused. Revali looked a you and you felt your breath catch in your throat as you locked eyes before he let out a gruff chuckle. "I suppose you could say that".

You and Frita ate in a comfortable silence while listening to Revali drawl on about the countless competitions he's won along with his many talents regarding aerial combat. Before long, your mind began to wonder.

You couldn't help but think of home. How it was slowly being consumed by a festering anxiety. There was a heavy air across the whole of Castle Town as you all prepared for this prophesied impending doom. The army had began vigorously training since last month. Some of those warriors were your friends- people you had grown up with. It was terrifying to think how some of them you may never see again once the Calamity strikes. Some were beginning to research the ancient technology that had recently been unearthed to see if they could be used to defend Hyrule. These were called guardians, and then there were also the recently uncovered Divine Beasts. At times, it was all a bit much, being at the central hub of Hyrule where there is no escape from the looming sense of dread. Things were moving so quickly and it seemed as though you may never escape the ever present anxiety that hung in the air of Castle Town. But here, in Rito Village, people seemed more relaxed. Many ritos believed that their home would not be effected by the foreseen Calamity. This made the village a nice escape from daily life back home. Here, you weren't reminded of what was to come. You weren't reminded of your duties. You could just breathe easier here in the village nestled into the rocky pillar.

"I do love it here. Rito Village is such a beautiful place. I don't have a single bad memory while being here", you gushed, earning a raised brow from Revali at your comments about his home, his interest now piqued. "Is that so?". Before you could stop her, Frita spewed, "Yes, in fact, she might move here". You shot her a look, a signal to keep that information between the two of you, to which she sheepishly dipped her head in response. You didn't want others knowing of your plans to move just yet, especially since you hadn't even mentioned it to your parents. "A hylian living amongst ritos?", Revali questioned, an amused undertone laced within his words as his luminous eyes narrowed a fraction, as if trying to read your expressions for some sign of the truth. "Hylians aren't equipped for living here. You would struggle". "Yet so many visit and get by just fine", you bit back, sharp tongued yet it was all said with a simple smile across your lips. What he said was true, yet you disliked how he assumed you would struggle when Frita, a fellow rito, believed you could easily adapt to life in the village. "Visiting and residing are very different though", he then shot back, cocking his head to the side as he examined you and your heart began to pound slightly. You felt a pout develop on your features, brows furrowed. He made a point you couldn't argue against. It was the truth. "Well, I'm taking it upon myself to help her integrate into the village before she permanently moves here", Frita chipped in, sensing some tension settling in the air. "If you truly want to move here", Revali began, capturing your attention once more. He wore a smug smirk before he finished, "You'll have to prove yourself".

"Prove myself?", you parroted. "Yes. You'll have to learn our ways and prove to us that you belong here". Revali studied you for a moment, as if he hadn't been doing so all night already. "Firstly, the women of our village are know for being beautiful singers and us men are talented archers. Tell me, can you sing?".

Being from one of the wealthier families of Hyrule Kingdom, you did have the privilege of music lessons from a young age. Your parents wanted the best for you, so consequentially, you had many lessons in a multitude of subjects and areas; Geography, horse riding, music, dance, literature, cooking, etiquette, biology and more.

"I have had many singing lessons", you informed the feathered man matter-of-factly. "It's more a matter of personal taste weather you believe I sound good". "Perhaps you could sing for me tomorrow then. After my training, well meet at the flight range. You can showcase your voice there", he challenged, the smirk across his features growing as he stared down his beak at you. "After all, it would be rather nice to have something to help me relax after such strenuous training", he teased. "And if my voice is to your liking, what do I receive then?". There was a slight pause. "What do you mean?", he tilted his head slightly, perplexed by your response. "Well, if my voice is to your liking then that would mean I have somewhat proven myself worthy of living here amongst your kind", you began, Revali's attention honed in on you, "Which I believe would be worth a reward". "Your reward would be living amongst us", you ignored his comment, pressing on. "That being said, if I prove myself, then I would like to learn archery". "What good would that do you?", he asked. "It's always good for a woman to be able to defend herself, wouldn't you agree?". "But if you were living in Rito Village you wouldn't need to defend yourself", he argued. "I'd have to say it's always good for a woman to know how to use a bow", Frita affirmed your point, edging a little closer to you as she joined the conversation. "Especially a hylian. They are smaller than most races, so it's most likely that any threat they face will be larger than them and could over power them", Frita continued, delving more into her argument. "Exactly, Frita! Meaning wouldn't it be beneficial to have a long range weapon in that instance? Surely, with your knowledge on combat as one of the greatest warriors of our time, you'd agree, Revali". You couldn't help but notice how the feathers around his chest plate plumed in reaction to your words. You'd noticed many ritos would unintentionally do this when feeling prideful, being boastful or being frustrated or angry. Perhaps it was a subconscious way of asserting dominance? Like how a Hylian may square their shoulders to appear larger and more confident in front of others. "It would be an honour to have you teach me".

There was a pause.

"I suppose it would be beneficial for you to have the most skilled archer teach you…", he mused looking off into the night, as if he barely acknowledged your being , like you were nothing more than a speck on his radar.  A nuisance. "Alright, you have yourself a deal; continuously show your willingness and progression to integrate into our society, and in turn I will teach you how to use a bow". "And you swear not to go back on your word?", you quirked a brow in Revali's direction. "I swear".

[aethericfist]

Avatar fits perfectly into the Cosmere, in this essay I will--

SPOILER WARNING: Alright so, this theory contains the heaviest spoilers in the world for Stormlight Archive Rhythm of War, Warbreaker, Elantris, Tress of the Emerald Sea, and I might have to borrow from Mistborn Era 2

It also spoilers ALL of Avatar the last airbender and Legend of Korra.

The world of Avatar almost perfectly fits into the cosmere, here me out.

I'll be using cosmere words like Bond, Connection, Investiture, Spren, Shards, cognitive realm, Intent, and the like, so if you don't know any of those, read the cosmere books before reading on in this theory. I'll to capitalize those words in order to make them stand out.

I will call the Avatar-World the Avatar-World in order to avoid confusion.

---

Let's get started, first of all, of course there are not really fitting shards left over for this planet, but to put it simply, something similar to Roshar is going on.

Spren-like splinters called Spirits inhabit the Cognitive Realm known as the Spirit-world of the planet Avatar-World, and two perpendicularities known as Spirit Portals in the North and South pole of the planet exist. This is a fact that points towards two Shards of Adonalsium having been shattered on that world.

The Spirit World, Spirits, and the Perpendicularities

Judging from the original humans having been in the Cognitive Realm first, they might've migrated over from another planet, before having been changed by Cosmereological Intent (see Pure Lakers on Roshar) to let the ever present but Mist-like (see Scadrial) invisible form of Investiture known as Chi, flow through their bodies.

The Spren/spirits/splinters of those Shards known as the lion turtles could thus grant the humans a special form of Bond to allow them to use the power of an element.

In the Avatar-World there must be two new types of Bonds: one that lion turtles use to grant the ability to use investiture to control and element, and one bond that Spirits use to possess a human.

Bending and Investiture - an End-Positive System

Forming a Connection to the power of the Splintered shards (see what happened on Sel), this Bond is not very similar to the Nahel Bond (Roshar & Spren) and a Luhel Bond (Lumar), but instead only requires an initial bond that unlcoks the power in a human and can then be passed on genetically.

Investiture in the Avater-World in the physical realm is an invisible gas, or at least humans have evolved to not see it, and is ever-present, seeping into the humans where it is called Chi.

The unlocking of bending and chi-gates might form cracks in the soul that are passed on genetically, seemingly even the more powerful Splinters or rather Cognitive Shadows can hold such powers, as evident by Raava and Vaatu.

Bending itself is a way of Accessing Investiture, requiring intent and specific physical movements that look almost like a martial art. This is similar to Aons drawn by Elantrians using AonDor or the martial arts on Sel.

The Avatar

Both bonds were used by Raava and Wan to create the first avatar: A cognitive shadow that holds memories of all prior avatars, held together within a human body by the Spirit Raava.

Whenever an Avatar dies, the memories are added to the cognitive shadow known as the Avatar, and the spirit Raava carries it on to a newborn human from another nation to use the possession Bond with.

Similar to a Bondsmith, the Avatar can create and sever connection, such as completely taking someone's ability to bend, or temporarily elsecalling into the Spirit World (Cognitive Realm).

Chi-Blocking 

Chi-blocking blocks spiritual pathways for the Soul which investiture would need to take.

Healing

Healing works well in the Avatar-World since due to the physical movements through which investiture is accessed, the humans of the Avatar-World have developed a stronger image of self and their cultures, even associating them directly with how they can use investiture.

Savantism

Savantism in bending might require something more than just a lot of investiture and using their power, but these are known as specialized bending types.

---

Tell me what you think. Did I make any mistakes? Any way you can fix my mistakes and still make it fit?

Also @felagund-fiollaigean yo you wanted to be tagged

[routeunlocked]

Mobile Otome Recommendations

Hi, everyone! I've gotten into otome in the recent years. I got my start with mobile games, so I thought it'd be fun to talk about some of my favorites as my first recommendations post on this blog. If you have questions or other recommendations, let me know.

MYSTIC MESSENGER

Mystic Messenger has a chatroom setting with many beloved characters of the RFA (Rika's Fundraising Association). MC finds a phone with the RFA app installed, ultimately leading to MC's position as party coordinator. There's more than meets the eye with the organization and the founder's history, however.

Unsurprisingly, this is the game that sparked my interest in otome. I felt the chatroom playstyle was very unique and a relatable way of getting to know the characters. It's fun to get calls from them occasionally too. The characterization and plot are so enjoyable, it's almost heartbreaking each route ends after 11 days. I could easily spend months on each of these character's routes.

As much as I love that it works in real time, it can be difficult to play with a busy schedule. It's also heavy with the triggering/dark content the more you play, so make sure that's something you're comfortable with before picking it up.

Features: Chatroom, routes, calls, real time, dark content.

WANNABE CHALLENGE

MC is a model who has always faced misfortune in her life. She never expects anything good to happen. Some of her memories are also missing, including her history with the goblins, but they're there to protect her. Will her luck turn around as she suddenly finds herself living with four men and competing in the Wannabe Challenge?

I started playing this one more recently and I am in love with it. My only regret is not starting sooner. The blend of historical, modern, and fantasy is well done. The characters are so lovable, I'm not sure I can pick a favorite. The MC is pretty sassy too, which I'm fond of. The Wannabe Challenge itself is based on Instagram, so it's cool to see what characters post while having the opportunity to respond and make your own posts. There's also a dress up and gacha aspect to the game, if you're a fan of that.

The only downside I think is the difficulty of the photoshoot challenges, requiring you to have specific stats. You'll want to upgrade your cameras and cards wisely. On the bright side, the game is generous with free gems and occasionally allowing you to use a random SSR to help succeed.

Features: Instagram, text messaging, gacha, optional ads for free resources, dress up, challenges, affection levels, unlockable stories.

ARCANA TWILIGHT

The Summoner enters an unfamiliar world, filled with sorcery. Their presence seems to bring more chaos and mystery than ever expected. Why do they have a special ability? What is it they see in their mind's eye? What about them attracts danger?

I feel like Arcana Twilight is a very underrated game. I've thoroughly enjoyed the story and getting to know the cast of characters. Their dynamics never fail to entertain. I also appreciate that the cast is 19+ despite this being a magic school setting. Constellations, magic, and monsters are all my taste.

The challenges can be difficult in this game as well. You have to battle between chapters which gets increasingly challenging as you go. Pay attention to elements and leveling your cards.

Features: Gacha, challenges, affection levels, ads for resources, text messaging, unlockable stories.

LOVEBRUSH CHRONICLES

The MC is an artist during her first year at a university. She has special skills, resulting in her finding herself in different worlds. There are some familiar faces there too...

I was very excited to hear about an English release for this game. I thought the art was gorgeous when I first stumbled across it, and I still feel that way. They have an amazing voice cast too. I like the idea of being able to explore different worlds/universes and seeing the roles each of the love interests play. I'm looking forward to diving deeper and seeing what other worlds get released.

Much like the others listed above, there is a combat feature in the game requiring you to focus on your cards/leveling. Thankfully, you can bring support from other players into battle which may be the difference between success and failure.

Features: Routes, social media posts, affection points, gacha, combat, alternate universes, friend support.

THE SSUM

MC uses a dating app to find their "special someone." Based on initial answers, MC is paired with one of the love interests on the app. A relationship is built up over a long period of time. But is there more to the app than meets the eye?

I feel like it comes full circle to have a Cheritz game on my phone again. I'm a sucker for their games (Dandelion and Nameless included), so I had to check this one out too. I've only done June's route at the moment, but I adored every moment of it. I like that I can set it up based on my real life schedule and there aren't consequences for missing chats. I also like the ties to Mystic Messenger. If you're missing the charm of Mystic Messenger, you may want to check this one out to satisfy the nostalgia.

There are some other features on the app, but I'm mostly focused on the story. It is still fun to check out planets and posts by other players though. This game will require a lot of patience as the other routes span 200+ days. Parts of spoken conversations and some photos will also be hidden unless you pay a monthly fee, but it will not prevent you from enjoying the story if you choose to play for free.

Features: Chatroom, dating app profiles, planet exploration, community posts, optional monthly fees, real time, calls, routes (that can all be played at the same time).

[mariacallous]

Years ago, when people still used Boolean search and I was a cub reporter, I worked with photographer Nick Ut at the Associated Press. It felt like being in the presence of one of the Greats, even though he never acted like it. We drank the same office coffee, even as I was barely out of journalism school and he had a Pulitzer Prize that was nearly three decades old. Ut, if you don’t recognize the name, took the photo of “Napalm Girl”—Kim Phuc, whom Ut captured in 1973, at 9 years old, running from a bombing in Vietnam.

Lots of people know that photo. It’s one of the most searing images to come out of the Vietnam War—one that shifted attitudes about the conflict. Ut himself wrote many years later that he knew a single photo could change the world. “I know, because I took one that did.”

Hundreds of photos have come out of the Israel-Hamas war since it began more than seven months ago. Bombed out buildings, mass funerals, damaged hospitals, more injured children. But, as of this week, there’s one that’s garnered more attention than most: “All eyes on Rafah.”

The image features what appears to be an AI-generated landscape in which a series of refugee tents spells out the image’s title phrase. The exact origins of the image are murky, but as of this writing it’s reportedly been shared more than 47 million times on Instagram, with many of those shares coming in the 48 hours after an Israeli strike killed 45 people in a camp for displaced Palestinians, according to the Gaza Health Ministry. The image was also shared widely on TikTok and X, where a pro-Palestine account’s post featuring the image has been viewed nearly 10 million times.

As “All eyes on Rafah” circulated, Shayan Sardarizadeh, a journalist with BBC Verify, posted on X that it “has now become the most viral AI-generated image I’ve ever seen.” Ironic, then, that all those eyes on Rafah aren’t really seeing Rafah at all.

Establishing AI’s role in the act of news-spreading got fraught quickly. Meta, as NBC News pointed out this week, has made efforts to restrict political content on its platforms even as Instagram has become a “crucial outlet for Palestinian journalists.” The result is that actual footage from Rafah may be restricted as “graphic or violent content” while an AI image of tents can spread far and wide. People may want to see what’s happening on the ground in Gaza, but it’s an AI illustration that’s allowed to find its way to their feeds. It’s devastating.

Journalists, meanwhile, sit in the position of having their work fed into large-language models. On Wednesday, Axios reported that Vox Media and The Atlantic had both made deals with OpenAI that would allow the ChatGPT maker to use their content to train its AI models. Writing in The Atlantic itself, Damon Beres called it a “devil’s bargain,” pointing out the copyright and ethical battles AI is currently fighting and noting that the technology has “not exactly felt like a friend to the news industry”—a statement that may one day itself find its way into a chatbot’s memory. Give it a few years and much of the information out there—most of what people “see”—won’t come from witness accounts or result from a human looking at evidence and applying critical thinking. It will be a facsimile of what they reported, presented in a manner deemed appropriate.

Admittedly, this is drastic. As Beres noted, “generative AI could turn out to be fine,” but there is room for concern. On Thursday, WIRED published a massive report looking at how generative AI is being used in elections around the world. It highlighted everything from fake images of Donald Trump with Black voters to deepfake robocalls from President Biden. It’ll get updated throughout the year, and my guess is that it’ll be hard to keep up with all the misinformation that comes from AI generators. One image may have put eyes on Rafah, but it could just as easily put eyes on something false or misleading. AI can learn from humans, but it cannot, like Ut did, save people from the things they do to each other.

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Blue Castle Book Club 2.0 - Chapter 8

Valancy goes to bed that night, having rudely (“rudely”) told Cousin Stickles that she wouldn’t do as she was told any longer. And she stays up all night remembering her life and coming to terms with how little of it is left.

Fear, John Foster tells us, is the original sin and a wretched way to live. Valancy, in her long night of reckoning, realizes that for the first time in her life she is no longer afraid. She does not fear death and, stemming from that, she does not fear the future either. All her life she has been afraid of the future, stretching out interminably before her, but now it has a termination point, and that termination is imminent. And so she is no longer afraid.

What she is, though, is resentful. Which is not an emotion she has really allowed herself to feel up until this point. She has been policed so strictly that – until now – she has self-policed her thoughts without even being told to. But now she doesn’t care what her family thinks and she doesn’t care about their rules and she is free to have feelings no matter how un-ladylike that activity might be, and none of her feelings are positive. She stays awake all night in a memory spiral that will be intimately familiar to most of us, running through everything bad that’s ever happened on an endless loop.

And boy does she have a lot of memories to choose from, none of them pleasant. During this long night, she cannot think of a single good thing that has ever happened to her. And every time something good might have happened, someone comes along and spoils it, ruining things forever.

(As an aside, I do love her clear-eyed imagining of what her obituary would be like. You can’t really say, no one particularly liked her and she didn’t have any friends or accomplishments in an obituary, so hers absolutely would have been filled with vapid platitudes. And she didn’t even begin thinking of the funeral service, which would be given by Dr. Stalling and probably include words from Uncles James and Wellington and been generally dreadful all round.)

She comes to the conclusion that, “I’ve just been a colourless nonentity,” which I am mostly pulling out because it’s nice when authors confirm for you that the pattern you’ve been tracking is something they did on purpose. But more than that, the colors in Valancy’s life, when they emerge properly, will be deeply associated with nature. Valancy has never been allowed to be in nature – she has spent her whole life stifled in the red brick house filled with dead things and pictures of dead people. For Maud, who has such a clear throughline in all her work about the power and value of being in nature, being colorless is being cut off from the natural world, which is equivalent to being spiritually dead. Valancy isn’t physically dead yet, but in a real way she’s been dead for years already.

Once again, I wish someone had introduced Maud to the idea of magical realism and let her run with it, because there is fantasy hovering just beneath so many of her stories (or just straight up in the text itself, if I understand Emily correctly) and I think she’d have done an incredible job of weaving magic and mundane together.

Valancy catalogs her many disappointments and ends on the final fact that she has never loved anyone in her entire life. Which is a marked shift from a couple chapters back, when the thing she was lamenting was that no one had ever loved her. A subtle but important distinction, and one that will carry forward through the text. Valancy is no longer beholden to the good opinion of others, and so she is now focused on what she herself hasn’t done, as opposed to what hasn’t been done for her. We start the chapter with “not even her mother loved her” and we end it with “I’ve never loved [mother]”. Valancy has gone from object to subject in her own life.

And we end with the only known instance of your 3am feelings being objectively correct. Valancy decides she is done lying and done appeasing and from now on will do nothing that she does not want to do. She quotes a poem called “The Freeman”, by poet Ellen Glasgow, published in 1897: “Despair is a free man—hope is a slave.” (Fun fact: according to Wikipedia, Glasgow suffered from chronic heart problems. No clue if Maud knew that or if it’s just a weird coincidence.)

Here is the poem in full:

THE FREEMAN

“Hope is a slave, Despair is a freeman”

A vagabond between the East and West, Careless I greet the scourging and the rod; I fear no terror any man may bring, Nor any god.

The clankless chains that bound me I have rent No more a slave to hope I cringe or cry; Captives to Fate, men rear their prison walls, But free am I.

I tread where arrows press upon my path, I smile to see the danger and the dart; My breast is bared to meet the slings of hate, But not my heart.

I face the thunder and I face the rain, I lift my head, defiance far I fling— My feet are set, I face the autumn as I face the spring.

Around me, on the battle-fields of life, I see men fight and fail and crouch in prayer; Aloft I stand unfettered, for I know The freedom of despair.

Colors mentioned:

Red moon

Creamy yellow net

Wreath of red roses

Pink dress

All things that colourless Valancy either fears or doesn’t get to have.

[deepspacedukat]

Coitarche

I wish to issue a very sincere apology. I know that I had Elnor (ST:PIC) listed for this prompt, but I have been trying for several days, and I just can't seem to capture his voice. (Usually my fics are late because I'm rly bad at time management, but today, it's because he is Incredibly Difficult™ for me to write.) I know there are often small typos in my works despite my attempts to edit them out, but typos are one thing. Low-quality, shitty work is another beast entirely. I always go back and re-edit my works for typos/quick fixes, but I cannot in good conscience allow myself to put out work that makes me cringe as much as my attempts at writing Elnor have. I want to do right by you all, and as it stands currently, I refuse to curse your eyes with my horrendous failed attempts.

That being said: today's fic will feature my Romulan OC, Major Denak (mentioned in "Praetor's Pride" chapter 3). This fic is a side commentary to "Praetor's Pride," but you don't need to have read that first to understand this little drabble. I will, once I have had more time to find Elnor's voice in my writing, release a sort of "make-up fic" about him. I don't like not being able to deliver on something when I've given my word that I will. It probably won't come out until after the SoC challenge is over, but Elnor fans, I will learn your man's voice if I have to listen to clips of him for hours on end!

For anyone who is curious, "coitarche" is defined here. Anyway, enjoy!

Day 29: Loss Of Virginity

SoC prompt list here. SoC Masterlist here. Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Denak (OC) x Unnamed Romulan OFC, mention of Hiren (ST:Nemesis) x Reader (from "Praetor's Pride")

[A/N: This is smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Mild angst, lost love, arranged marriages, sexual memories, sexual dreams, loss of virginity, mention of masturbation, woman on top, biting.

(Picrew used to make ^this^ can be found here.)

~*~

"Why are you alone after all this time, Major Denak?" The calm, curious voice of Praetor Hiren called out from the balcony railing, and the man in question lifted an eyebrow.

"Sir?" Denak was far from the only guard on duty tonight, but when the Praetor took his nightly walk around the grounds, he preferred that he only have one guard with him. The palace was safe enough, he claimed, and he didn't enjoy feeling as though he was a child who required a large escort even in his own home.

"I have seen many of my guards with their partners, or I've at minimum heard them discussing their various conquests, but you..." Hiren trailed off, pausing as he turned to face the youngest member of his Rei’karansu. "Have you no romantic prospects?"

Denak knew precisely why Hiren was so curious. The pretty Federation Ambassador whom the Praetor had been chatting with tonight had put him in a good mood - a better one than he'd been in since his official appointment.

"None at present, my lord Praetor." The older man seemed disappointed, so, not wishing to sour his mood, Denak allowed a memory to tug at him. "However, there was someone several years ago."

The guard noted a small smile upon the other man's lips, and he continued.

"She was the first woman I ever truly loved. I dare not reveal her identity, though. She is a nobleman's wife, now, and I doubt she would appreciate her name being associated with that of a mere guard," he murmured taking a few steps closer to the Praetor's position and gazing out across the palace gardens. "She was sweet...just as inexperienced and nervous as I was."

Denak could recall every moment he'd spent with her in perfect detail. She'd been carved into his heart as deeply as only a first love ever could. They'd both been so overcome by their passions that despite the awkwardness that was invariably present in a first sexual encounter, both Denak and his lover had overcome their nerves and enjoyed themselves immensely.

"Ah, young love. There is nothing else quite like it in this universe," Hiren muttered as he leaned against the railing. "Were you together long?"

The Major let out a quiet, wistful sigh.

"Five years. Longer than I deserved, but...not nearly long enough," he stated, trying not to sound too much like he was pouting. "Her family arranged her betrothal, and she was forced to break off our relationship. From what I understand, her husband treats her well, but...I can't help but wonder what might have happened if...well..."

He couldn't put into words the thoughts he'd mulled over so often in the dark solitude of his empty bed over the years.

What if she'd chosen to ignore her family's wishes? What if she'd chosen him instead? What if Denak had been her husband instead of that stuffy dignitary?

He knew it was no use dwelling on hypothetical situations, but he still had moments where he couldn't control that nagging little voice in his head.

As the years passed, his feelings for her had dimmed, as was expected, but there were still lonely nights in which his dreams featured the ghost of her lips on his neck and awoke with the sensation of her fingers gripping his shoulders as she rode him. He'd take his length in hand and allow the memories to burn through him until he spilled over his stomach.

Denak still remembered the adoration in her eyes when he brought her to orgasm for the first time. She'd been his first in every respect, just as he had been hers. Elements, she was the reason he knew he enjoyed having his ears bitten!

"I have been with others since her, but none to whom I've formed a serious connection," the Major said, and Hiren nodded his head.

"I know what you mean. I've had a few encounters since my wife passed, but all of them were casual. We all need release, but...being open with someone...being truly committed after a love like that...it's difficult," the Praetor commiserated before turning to look at his guard. "I suppose we're both waiting for the one who will pick up the pieces, aren't we?"

"Yes, my lord Praetor," Denak replied dutifully, but given the sparkle in the older man's eyes, he suspected that one of them had already found what he was looking for.

~*~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes @emilie786 @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

[isfjmel-phleg]

OC asks:

Rachel - 1 Rietta - 2 Declis - 8 Amarantha - 9 Elystan - 10 Tamett - 15 Josiah - 20

Rachel: What kind of person is your OC in a crisis? Are they calm and collected? Do they panic? Or are they chronically the cause?

Rachel is very nervous and prone to panicking but can be surprisingly proactive in a crisis. In Book 1 Chapter One, she and her little sister accidentally are left on their own in a large unfamiliar city and have to find their way to the train station, and she's a mess inside but manages to take charge and stay strong for her already scared sister. She's braver and more capable than she realizes.

Rietta: Is your OC a loner or a social butterfly? Are they satisfied with how they come across to other people?

Rietta is a social butterfly whom circumstances have forced to live as a loner, and she hates it. She loves people, she wants to make friends with almost everyone, and she acts as if she doesn't realize it when she gets rejected. She does. And it hurts.

She tends not to overthink how she comes across to people, but she has often regretted specific interactions after she's said or done something without thinking.

Delclis: What was your OC's most embarrassing moment? Does it still bother them or are they able to shrug it off?

He once fell asleep in the middle of a meeting with a lot of very important political people and even snored loudly in the middle of someone's speech, and ended up offending multiple people with this rudeness. This incident does bother him, not so much because he cares about the faux pas, but because all the fuss with trying to smooth over the incident was more than he wanted to deal with, and now he has to put more effort into not repeating this mistake.

Amarantha: Is your OC laid back or do they thrive on drama? What role do they play in their group of friends/associates?

Amarantha has never been laidback a day in her life. Everything is Serious Business. She may not necessarily create drama, but she is more than ready to react to it at any time. Among her friends, she would like to think of herself as the Voice of Reason, the Sensible One who knows what to do. A mom friend, but the kind of mom who's always lecturing you.

Elystan: Is your OC sentimental or pragmatic? Do they keep mementos or only what they need to survive? Have they always been this way or did something happen to make them change?

He is not sentimental at all, except when he is, and then he'll do everything he can to disguise it as pragmatism. He does very much keep mementos; things like the silver cigarette case that his father gave him when he was ten and Talfrin taught him how to smoke (...for medicinal purposes, long story) are very important to him. This trait has really only emerged since all the events surrounding his father's banishment, treason, and execution, and also after Edmara stops working for him. He had never really lost anything before then.

Tamett: What places hold significant meaning or memories for your OC? Do they have a positive or negative association with those places?

He has a very normal attachment to his home and the surrounding outdoors, which is associated with the times he's allowed to see his family and have some freedom. And, like every child in the royal household of Lienne, he has a dread of Odren's study, which is where you're called to whenever you've done something Out Of Line. It's not an inherently fearsome room--eerily over-orderly and pristine, perhaps, but not scary--but the severe scoldings dished out there give it the worst possible associations.

Josiah: Has your OC ever done something terrible and lied about it? Did they run away or blame someone else for it? How long did they maintain the lie and did the truth ever come out?

He managed to find a way to avoid going to lessons for anything athletic and somehow cover it up--for quite a long time. The lies were exposed when his father wanted him to display his fencing skills at a social event with a lot of important people and he made a fool of himself (and by extension his father) very publicly. Odren was furious, and that's why Josiah got shipped off to boarding school a year early.

[wizardheart83]

Rings of Power Analysis Part #5

Back to this format cause aesthetics

Durins 4 and 3 Vs Míriel and Palantir

Both are sets containing a ruler and an adult child. In both cases the ruler has access to mystical knowledge beyond the reach of most people ( the collective wisdom of past dwarf kings and Palantir’s palantir).

No moms, nowhere no sir, except Durin 4’s whose memory is a stick in the fight between him and his dad and everyone gets more beat up for it.

In both cases the adult heir to the throne is being hemmed in by the actions of their father.

Because of Palantir’s reforms Míriel walks a tightrope trying to be faithful but project agreement with the majority of her people. Because Durin 3 is holding onto the status quo that has worked well for his people and allowed them to thrive, his son Durin 4 feels frustrated and unable to enact plans he feels could bring them still more success. Durin 4 walks a tightrope between loyalty to his king and loyalty to himself and his friend. Interesting differences:

The royals in our two plots are asking fundamentally different questions.

Can khazad dum advance? vs Can Númenor be saved?

Both kings seem to be landing on “no” or maybe “not like that” but in different ways and by different means.

Palantir’s last scene shows him confused but hopeful, still believing that his daughter can turn the people to the old ways and save the island. But he doesn’t think that going to middle earth will help, and he believes it will be ruinous for at least Míriel.

Míriel and Palantir are/ were partners, carrying the secret of the wave and grappling with hope and fear together as Palantir declines, leaving Míriel alone, but not by his own choice.

King Durin has presided over a time of positive and rapid change and his rejection of Durin 4’s plan is seemingly based in the belief that that can continue without the risks associated with mithril.

The Durins are increasingly adversarial as the season goes on. They have different values and can’t bridge the gap, despite love and fealty binding them. Durin 3 in a sense abandons Durin 4 but it’s a pained act, he takes no joy in it .

Thus Durin 4 like Míriel, ends the season with a future in some serious doubt.

I’ve been tracking ambition in these, and of the two, Durin 4 is more openly ambitious but it’s debatable. Miriel is queen regent, vulnerable and powerful in equal measure. she’s on the tightrope over a populist uprising that could take the line of Elros off the throne for the first time since Numenor was founded and if she fails every still living soul she’s ever known or seen or had a passing thought about prior to Galadriel’s arrival dies horribly. Durin 4’s home will at best be more awesome, if he succeeds, or at worst stagnate (as far as he knows).

Míriel has more to lose, so what she personally wants is necessarily secondary to what she feels she can do without failing at her one very difficult job.

The above makes it hard to judge coloring in the line status as well … shall we call that “lawfulness”?

What does this show have to say about the tensions between being a good king and being a good father? Palantir has, we can infer, lost the ability to see Miriel by his end, to the extent that he can’t tell it’s not miriel in the room, but he talks clearly to his heir. Durin 3 turns his back on his son after looking him in the eyes and removing the symbol of his status as heir. (god this show has stuff to say about fathers, so much, but that’s another post)

The fates of these kingdoms and of the two adult children of their once rulers will be something to watch.

Both are at the end separated from the ones who incited much of the upheaval in their lives, our final pair Elrond and Galadriel. Look for that one tomorrow, probably. Then maybe some attempt at a conclusion but the show is in its earliest days so don’t count on that, this is a time for questions more than answers I think.

Ps if Durin 4 and Miriel parallels are your thing, this may interest you

[ecofriendlyfunerals]

Eco-Friendly Funerals: Embracing Sustainable Practices in Perth

As sustainability becomes increasingly important, more Perth residents are turning to eco-friendly funeral options that honour loved ones while reducing environmental impact. Sustainable funerals provide a meaningful way to pay respects, using methods that minimise ecological harm. From natural burials to carbon-neutral ceremonies, green funeral options are more accessible than ever in Perth. Choosing an environmentally conscious funeral celebrant in Perth can further support the eco-friendly values families wish to incorporate into their farewell ceremonies.

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Biodegradable Urns

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Digital Tributes

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Locally Sourced Florals & Eco-Friendly Décor

To create a meaningful atmosphere, many families choose locally sourced flowers or native potted plants rather than imported floral arrangements. Australian flora, especially Perth’s local species, supports the ecosystem while reducing transportation emissions. For décor, options like reusable candlelight or potted plants provide sustainable choices that respect the values of the ceremony without generating waste.

Why Choose an Eco-Friendly Funeral?

Eco-friendly funerals in Perth not only respect loved ones but also reflect a commitment to environmental responsibility. Families can now choose sustainable options that leave a positive legacy, showing care for future generations. Working with an eco-aware funeral celebrant in Perth can ensure a seamless integration of green practices, helping families create a respectful, sustainable, and memorable farewell.

Perth’s shift towards environmentally responsible practices extends to the funeral industry, where green options like natural burials, biodegradable urns, and carbon-neutral services enable families to honour loved ones while caring for the planet.

https://alicecelebrantperth.com.au/eco-friendly-funerals-sustainable-practices-in-perth/