YOU WOULDNT DOWNLOAD AN ARCHIVIST
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god i absolutely love the idea of dan and phil being exes because that’s fucking insane like imagine buying a house with your ex like sure go ahead but who the fuck else is going to ever want to have a serious relationship with you bro?
like imagine you meet either of them and you go on a couple of dates and you like them a lot, and then you go to their house and there’s another random tall man living in it. you ask ummm who is this? “oh yeah that’s my ex, but he’s also my best friend, my soulmate, my ranch metaphor, my coworker, we’ve built a community on the internet really, and our names are so attached i can’t really stay away from him so we’ve bought this house and designed it to be half him half me because we have no intention to ever sell it so yeah…. we can still be together but i hope you know im still going to have to live here so that we can play the sims together and have our gay sims get married and have sex dressed as a peach and a hotdog in a public closet.”
you leave their house you go that was weird, you ghost them forever.
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Whoa sudden thought, Pinocchio being jealous because of Carlo.
No wait think about it, Carlo is confident, outgoing, but above all he’s human. Human like you. Why would you bother staying with a puppet if you could have somebody who is not only human, but looks almost exactly like Pinocchio himself.
Carlo would be well aware of the jealousy too and he’d take full advantage of it to get under his counterparts metaphorical skin. Despite the strong emotions Pinocchio may feel and how far he’s come with his adventures through Krat he still isn’t fully human, but OH can he feel those emotions and he didn’t know how strong jealousy could be.
So taking every chance he could, Carlo would throw flirtations your way. Every pick up line, any chance to touch you, every wink, every smirk, but only when Pinocchio was within sight. The annoyance on his face would be clear instantly, his eye would twitch. He’d scrunch up his face, the furrow of his brow and scrunch of nose clear along with the slightest hint of his lip curling. The worst tell would be the twitch in his legion arm would return full force.
Of course, Carlo would tell Romeo all about it, delighting in how HILARIOUS he found it and, of course again, Romeo would advise him against it. He’s seen first hand what Pinocchio is capable of and maybe pushing his buttons would get him sent through a wall at worst, getting him punched in the face at best. He’d reassure his concerned… ‘friend’, that whenever you’d reject his advances Pinocchio would calm down almost instantly.
Romeo was right though because one day he pushes it a bit too far, hand on the wall beside your head, his other hand on your chin as he gazes down at you, smirk plastered on his face. Your annoyance would be clear, but that doesn’t stop a metal hand firmly landing on Carlo’s shoulder before it’s jerking him around.
At least Pinocchio was nice enough not to use his legion arm to give him a bloody nose.
Romeo got to say ‘I told you so’ (yet again) that day.
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i literally carved out a space in the world for two but it's empty without You. i've got ALL THIS LOVE i've got to keep to Myself, all this effort to make it look Effortless!!! ALL THIS LOVE i've GOT to keep to myself!!! all this EFFORT to make it Look Effortless!!!!! if you even Care!!!!!!!
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Guys. Guys guys I. Uhm. Uh uh uh. I just uh. I uh uhm uh I uh uh uh THE WATCH. THE HAND. THE GRIP OH MY GOD IM GOING TO FALL TO MY KNEES
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