#<3 hes a shapeshifter and a little shit who means well usually

[creativebrainrot]

owo

[i-m-art-ix]

Ninjago headcanons #3

19#

Garmadon was very protective of Wu (I wrote this earlier in point seven), although the venom made him think it was Wu's fault that the snake bit him, he was still protective of his beloved younger brother. One time when Garmadon was under the influence of the venom he was a little nervous and very sarcastic they went to town with "friends" and Wu made him a little angry so Garmadon called him an idiot (Wu didn't care because he knew Garmadon didn't mean it) and one of their friends laughed and agreed with Garmadon and it was his mistake (because venom, venom, but no one will challenge his brother, only he can) so he beat up this guy almost killing him, of course it was reported to their father but FSM, after finding out why Garmadon did it, stated that he did not see a problem with it and praised Garmadon for defending his brother's honor. Everyone was in total shock, especially Wu.

20#

Despite popular belief, it wasn't Garmadon who caused trouble, it was Wu. he sneaked out of the monastery many times and generally did many things he shouldn't have done. Garmadon was angry with Wu many times because of his behavior (and that Garmadon won't let his brother go somewhere alone at night) they were often grounded. Usually, when Wu did something stupid, he got a reprimand from the FSM but also from Garmadon (because of course Wu, due to his stupidity and willingness to adventure, exposed himself to danger, which greatly displeased Garmadon and FSM).

21#

FSM as a child and teenager was a little shit. I'm sure his Oni nature made him love to play pranks (on dragons and Oni), kind of like Lloyd did in season 1.

22#

One time Lloyd dyed his hair brown (to look like his father) and Wu saw him and stared at him for a minute and then his eyes watered and he went to hug Lloyd.

23#

After season 3, Lloyd blamed himself for Zane's death, after all, he was the green ninja, he was supposed to defend the ninjago, he was supposed to defeat the Overlord, if anyone was going to die in this fight, it was him, at least that's what Lloyd told himself. That's why he didn't allow himself to mourn like the rest of the ninja, he decided that he didn't deserve it and started overworking himself, he kept an eye on the ninjago all the time, he helped the police and could be seen as the green ninja all the time.

24#

Oni are intersex. Due to the fact that the Oni began to be a dying breed, at some point they began to change their form so that everyone could continue the species (given that Oni are shapeshifters, it was easy to change their biology). For this reason, Onil do not pay attention to gender, with them you can often choose who exactly they want to be, if they want to be someone else, they can change their body to make it suitable for them, when it came to relationships, you could be with anyone you wanted to be with (well, except your enemy) only important is to perpetuate the genre.

25#

After Season 5, Wu began to become more protective of Lloyd. Wu lost his father, brother and twice Morro, at this point he was left with only Lloyd, his nephew, and due to his mistakes, Lloyd became possessed. He began to remove Lloyd from missions, he began training him to be a master so that he would stop being a ninja. All the time he only asked him for help to get him away from danger, and when he had to let Lloyd go, he never let him go alone so that what happened in the museum wouldn't happen again.

26#

When Lloyd first came to the bounty, none of the ninja liked him, and Lloyd was terribly afraid of others because no one ever liked him, that's why he stuck to Wu all the time, he only trusted him because he was his uncle and he kind of remembered that when he was a kid, Wu was really cool and liked Lloyd, so if Lloyd was going to be with others, Wu had to be there, if he wasn't there Lloyd ran out of that room immediately. For little Lloyd, Wu was such a safe place, he was the only person he knew and his only family.

27#

Wu loved to spoil little Lloyd, every time he came to visit, he would bring Lloyd toys, sweets and other things. Garmadon and Misako were a bit dissatisfied because Lloyd had too many toys, Wu always claimed that his nephew was the most wonderful child and deserved everything he wanted. Wu also loved taking care of Lloyd whenever Garmadon and Misako wanted to go on a date, Wu immediately claimed that he could watch Lloyd, According to him, they can even go for a month because he will be happy to take care of Lloyd. And Lloyd loved being left with his uncle because he always got what he wanted.

(I finally did it, I had a little less creative inspiration than with the last parts, but it was still nice to write it)

[sparatus]

Hounds Bay for the WIP tag game 👀

like 3 years late cause my brain stopped functioning for askbox answering hdflshfks

wip tag game

hounds bay is my original urban fantasy!! "urban fantasy" being a term which here means "modern urban fantasy mostly but also there's high fantasy elements because i'm the author and i decide how many dragons there are and the correct number is Yes." i use the name for both the actual Book and for the verse in general, mostly out of habit. hounds bay is the name of the setting, and for the first couple years it existed it was mostly concept and character work before it got a true plot.

the Main Storyline follows auberon "ben" corbin, a necromancer living in seclusion out in the woods who is framed for a crime he didn't commit - well, not this specific crime, necromancy's illegal and he's definitely been doing that, but not this necromancy. he's found by two black dog ghosts (stuttgart and glasgow, who are in fact the very very ancient ghosts of two murder victims found in a bog from a late pleistocene settlement of early humans, the oldest known and most powerful spirits in the area), a werewolf (argus cotton, deposed werewolf king), and a young adult dragon (sand, disabled and can't fly but taught himself to Tunnel through solid fucking rock instead and is no less terrifying) and dragged before the fae courts to answer for his alleged crimes. when both argus and the ghosts vouch that they believe he's telling the truth, the local fae lord halwn agrees to let him try to find the real culprit, bringing the ghosts, argus, and argus's loyal shadow briar along for the ride (sand is too big to move around the city and hasn't mastered shapeshifting magic yet, but we do get to encounter his parents moss and sapphire, who are not friendly <3).

eventually, they manage to sniff out the real culprit and his plot to tear down the veil between life and death using murders in specific places with specific rituals to weaken it until it snaps. a race against time ensues, sand's dad moss is attacked as part of the final stage of the plan which risks a war with the dragons, lots of good shit.

i don't have a lot written for it, it's still in the plotting stage and most of what i've done is backstory and setting, but here's a lil bit i wrote for a big writing server i used to be in, from a larger piece on the backstory for moss and his brother stone and why the local dragons are on good terms with the fae:

They were lucky.

The mushroom hunter who’d been killed two days after Hyacinth, not so much. But their little killer-hunting party would take anything they could get.

The trail, according to Argus, was fading, but still clear and present as they trotted brusquely through the woods. Amelia had decided to come along, mostly for her own reassurance, though Halwn certainly wouldn’t have said no to the extra magical firepower regardless of whose idea it was; for “merely” a human hedgewitch granted immortality by Fae favor, she packed a punch comparable to any of Halwn’s own kind. Argus, as expected, had insisted on bringing the ever-present Briar to follow in his footsteps and provide an extra nose to push through the brush and debris covering the trail. They raced along ahead, occasionally looping back to be sure Halwn and Amelia were still following, their whuffs of discussion sometimes interspersed with annoyed barking at the faint specters weaving along after them.

Stuttgart and Glasgow were only barely visible if Halwn squinted, but frankly, he preferred that. The city’s resident death omens were unnerving enough to begin with, but these two made it worse, usually on purpose. The darker it got as time ran out to find their hunters, the more likely they were to occasionally catch a glimpse of the mummified, late Pleistocene-era corpses they actually were whenever they passed a trace of a kill, and Halwn had seen those damn things sitting up and looking at him plenty enough for one lifetime.

It had only been once, but still.

It’s not far now, Glasgow offered helpfully as he looped himself around branches up above. Black dog ghosts were not beholden to the same laws of physics as wolfed-out werewolves, a fact the brothers were more than happy to exploit, assuming they were aware of it at all. The only condition was that it be dark enough for them to manifest at all. It’s easier to pinpoint when it’s fresh.

“Far for a ghost, or far for something with a physical body that has to go over and through obstacles?” Amelia grumbled. The runes and magic circles she’d tattooed down her forearm had all taken turns glowing throughout their trek as she cleared their path or repaired the damage the wolves left with a wave of her hand. Halwn had almost reminded her that, as the local Fae Lord, the forest would respond easily to his commands without the use of his own energy, but after a decade or so of working with her and occasionally waking up beside her, he knew better than to argue. She liked being able to do things herself, especially if it proved she could keep up with the Fae and their associates around her, and if it kept her happy, he was more than willing to indulge her.

The wolves paused at the hollow under a large tree, sniffing the leaf litter intently. “Here,” Argus finally grunted, lifting his head and pawing at a suspiciously dark and crunchy spot. “This is the spot.”

Halwn looked around, sizing up the area. The trail to get here had plenty of issues, but wasn’t altogether impassable; a standard overgrown forest trail, really, the type any experienced hiker wouldn’t blink at. This was a younger section of the forest, the canopy thick with summer leaves and interwoven branches, but not so thick the sun couldn’t reach the floor in a pleasant dapple. “Can you smell any other victims besides the most recent?”

Argus and Briar both stuck their heads back down to snuffle the leaves, then Argus reported, “Faintly, sir. There hasn’t been enough rain to wash it away.”

“So this is a favorite place,” Amelia commented, looking around with her hands on her hips. “I see why.”

Halwn nodded, scanning the trees. A squirrel scolded them before sprinting across a bridge formed between two branches. A bird’s nest cheeped overhead. A dragonfly flitted past a blackberry bush with broken branches and smears of dried blood on its thorns. An owl-

Oh, great.

“Over there,” he said, gesturing to the thicket. “Looks like the bodies were dragged off.”

Briar whined softly, and Argus bobbed his head. “He has a point,” he grunted. As pack leader, Argus was the only one able to shift entirely at will without special charms and speak in a fully canine form, so translation was up to him. “An animal hunting for itself would have eaten its kills where they landed. Dragging them away means this is either something intelligent enough to hide the remains, or something hunting to feed others.”

Or both, Stuttgart whispered. There was just enough sunlight peeking through the leaves that Halwn couldn’t make out much more than a pair of glowing eyes and the faintest outline of a shadowy dog. There was no hint of teeth, as there would have been if Stuttgart was trying to disturb them, and Halwn wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or worried.

After a bit of back and forth, Briar reluctantly took the lead, crouching down to squeeze through the tunnel left by the killer. Argus, being bigger, followed him, leaving Amelia and Halwn to pick their way around the edge of the thicket. As they went, Argus occasionally barked out traces they’d found – bloodstains here, bits of clothing there, deep furrows where the killer’s apparent claws had dug into the ground for better leverage.

The blood, according to Briar, wasn’t all human, though what the other source was, neither wolf could say.

Gradually, the thicket and the trees around them thinned out, intermingling with and replaced by scrub and rocks as they approached the edge of the wood. The sun was kissing the side of the mountain when he looked up, staining the sky a lovely lilac. Stuttgart and Glasgow were visible trotting alongside them now, but not yet fully defined, wisps of shadow flaking off them like ash off a burning log.

Halwn’s skin prickled. He tried to soothe himself with assurances that the killer wouldn’t strike until it was darker, the sky a bloody red or dusky gray or even black, if nobody came out soon enough, but that just made him wonder what would happen if nobody came at all – if it was hungry enough to strike at a dryad, what was to stop it from coming closer to the city? If it was smart enough to hide the bodies, it would certainly be able to adapt to living among humans, and then it would be near impossible to find in the convoluted mess that passed for city planning.

His ruminating was interrupted by almost tripping over Argus emerging from the thicket and immediately veering to the right to block his path. The rebuke on his tongue died as he lifted his head, and he swayed on his feet, hands curling into fists in Argus’s thick, wiry fur for support.

Bones and body parts were strewn around the clearing before them. Femurs snapped cleanly in half and the marrow messily eaten out, rib cages with bits of half-rotted flesh still hanging from them, scraps of skulls that had had all the soft parts pried out and eaten – the visuals alone were enough to turn Halwn’s stomach, and that didn’t even account for the putrid smell rising out of the clearing. “Oh, God,” Amelia said, putting her wrist up to her mouth, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Halwn very nearly joined her, trying valiantly to fight back the bile rising in his throat. The ghosts twined between his legs, then slipped out further into the mass grave. Look at what’s missing, Stuttgart hissed, his white eyelights bobbing up and down as he investigated. No small bones. No soft bits.

Briar, emboldened slightly, crept forward with his belly to the trampled grass. He sniffed at a skull, then flicked his tail and barked. “Hasty tooth marks,” Argus translated. “They were scraped, but not very well. Desperate. Probably starving.”

“Left a lot of meat, for something starving,” Amelia pointed out, still looking a bit green around the gills.

Maybe it’s too big to be delicate, Glasgow suggested, conspicuously swishing his wispy tail over a rake of claw marks in the dirt. Or there’s a different problem.

Halwn regarded the dogs carefully. As ghosts, and millennia-old death omens in particular, they were uniquely tuned into the pulse of the world around them. Nothing so much as tripped over an upraised root in the forest without them being aware of it. Right then, they were ambling lazily but pointedly towards a massive, ancient tree stubbornly dug into the rocks around it so that its upraised roots formed a shallow cave. If he squinted, he could just barely make out scratches of newly-exposed wood on some of the roots, and a spray of dirt and pebbles dug out from beneath.

His brow creased. “Stuttgart,” he began slowly, “what’s under that tree?”

The smaller of the two dogs flicked an ear and let his tongue loll out. The sun had disappeared behind the peak of the mountain by now, and the growing shadows of dusk lent his form even more eerie definition, with tufts of fur and lips that peeled back in a canine grin. Think about it. There were scraps of transparent peat clinging to his smoky fur. An ambush predator targeting humans, with a specific favored area and a den it drags the victims back to, where it eats all the soft, squishy bits; bites clean through bone; and swallows all the tiny parts it’s too big to notice. It has big claws that dig into the earth, strong jaws, and a blood-scent that isn’t familiar to werewolves that practically live out here.

Halwn’s blood ran cold as he spotted the faintest trace of movement under the tree roots. You already know what you’re going to find, don’t you?

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

ok so here's why throwing Fae Lore into spn makes a revival/continuation possible

Here's the setup:

-"Blurrywife" is a Faerie, specifically a malevolent/vampiric one, definitely a Succubus type. The mimes are her human thralls, hence why they don't act like normal vampires.

-Baby, yes the car, is ALSO a Faerie, specifically a kind of shapeshifter called a Pooka. John captured her in the early 80s, and, being John Winchester, never told his kids about this.

-Chuck Won. duh???

-Jack is, and was always destined to be, the next Jack O' The Lantern, and after Chuck threw his flaming corpse out Heaven, he's been ruling his own spoopy little candy-coated afterlife. pumpkin boi

Here's the timeline:

-Blurrywife & Mime Crew are kidnapping kids, likely for The Fae's 7-year tithe of souls to Hell (a thing that exists in the lore), when the Winchesters show up. Sam & Dean, as usual, have NO idea how to identify or fight Fae, and get their asses handed to them, with Dean falling to some weird Gaelic cold-iron magic fuckery (points to Blurrywife & crew for figuring out how to fight with iron despite being unable to touch it. 10/10 fuck these guys tho fr)

-Sam, alone and grieving, is an easy target and she picks him off before he even gets to the car, taking (something close to) Eileen's form and trapping him in a dreamscape, similar to how Djinn attack in spn.

-Sam, Dean AND Baby (there's def some Fae Drama going on there, yikes) have been stuck the Fae Realms for THREE YEARS as of Nov 2023.

-Dean and Baby escaped at some point, staying with Jack for a bit before running off to the 1970s like a dumbass and getting EVERYONE, including Jack and Bobby (why is Bobby even here??? HOW DID BOBBY'S GHOST GET STUCK IN THE FAE REALMS WHAT DID HE *DO*) recaptured.

-Sam has had it much worse, being drained to a white-haired husk of his former self and left for dead within a few days/months. DJ is half-faerie, raised in the fae realms, and could be 3 years old or 50, who knows. I don't like thinking abt how he happened.

-Here's the setup for the continuation:

Dean (fairly intact besides the cursed stab wound in his back) escapes with Sam (nearly dead, white-haired, displaying more or less the typical signs of someone who was taken & drained of life by The Fae) and stumbles into Charlie's safehouse. the Fae Arc can continue from this point, w Baby's true nature being revealed, Blurrywife as a major antagonist/BBEG, DJ going from possible threat -> clearly a well-meaning and very brave kid -> newest Winchester family member who Sam fully accepts as his son (plus s4-cas-esque moments as DJ tries to adapt to living on Earth. DJ ilysm but most cars aren't sentient and you can't bring your longbow to community college)

also Cas is still in The Empty, and Jack & Bobby are still captured, so that's some major plot points right there

Destiel is canon.

...anyway, this is all still pretty convoluted, but it allows for:

-15x20 to have been "not real" without being retconned

-DJ to exist without either setting the continuation ~30 yrs in the future (how would that work), or repeating spnwin's time-travel-kid-ex-machina (that's just not good writing I'm sry)

-spn finally doing something w The Fae (& related lore) besides one-off eps

-human!impala as main character

-explanations of weird shit in the finale (rebar, vamp-mimes, etc)

-collective fandom catharsis at Blurrywife's bitch ass

-the full horror potential of a faceless woman in a long dress standing ominously in the corner while time blurs forward around you and you age to death in five minutes

-some VERY fun metacommentary & crossover easter eggs if you use certain bits of Fae lore

-still works w my other big finale theory/revival idea/if-they-dont-do-this-i-will-be-so-pissed, which is the whole Deanmon 2.0 thing. but that's a post unto itself.

(also yes. making Blurrywife a djinn IS simpler and requires 0 new lore and makes perfect sense in canon. however, I hate how djinn are portrayed in spn. it feels vaguely racist and makes me uncomfy to write/read. so um that's why I didn't do that)

[sundaynightslive]

rut/heat hcs for the Sins?

Y'all work me to THE BONE.

With Siran being Lust, he can delay his rut for a long time

He controls everything in the realm of lust, and sometimes that just means the lack thereof

And when I say delay, I don't mean for a few months, I mean at LEAST by a decade. So I'd say he gets it every 13-23 years (if he doesn't delay it, every 3 years)

His rut is the last thing he wants to worry about, but he truly forgets that when it hits, it hits HARD because he delayed it for so long.

Whenever he feels all pent up, either one of the Sins/Courtiers takes up the task to deal with him (horny bastards) or he just shapeshifts into a different form and heads to a few red-light districts around hell

Usually he goes for a more ethical approach and just goes to parties to find people to fuck with but when he's that horny and he knows he's gonna be banging someone for a while? The least he can do is find someone who's more prepared for his nonsense

And I'm very serious when I say that when he's not going to be talking to anyone except the people he'd be fucking...

Let's say you're one of the people at those parties he goes to (because I don't fw red-light districts generally)

You wouldn't even suspect that he might be someone he's not. Even if you did, that's the least of your worries. You're getting off either way, so why does that matter?

If he hits on you, you wouldn't even be able to tell that he's frantically just trying to get off, unless you look down at his raging hard on pressed against his thigh. Desperate being so desperate, he still has a way with his words.

If you hit on him first, it takes every bone in his body to stop him from whisking you away in that very moment. The only thing stopping him is that he remembers that he actually has to get you ready, so he does take a little bit more time to focus on you before his mind goes right about to thinking about which positions he's going to fuck you in

He insists on either finding an empty room (if this is a house party) or going back to his house (not his actual house...just the house he used to fuck around in yk) because just finding a quiet place will not service you at all. You wanna have everyone hear you hootin and hollerin? Maybe, but he can't draw too much attention to himself

Plus, if you go to his place, he already has everything set up so you don't really have to leave him unless you have to use anything in the bathroom

Now that I'm really thinking about it, he probably has a couple of places.

He already has unlimited stamina when it comes to sex and he takes that to his full advantage. He's fucking you till you're body goes completely numb. And when you snap out of it, he'll do it all over again

His rut lasts about 3-4 weeks. It's excessive, but what did you expect?

Unlike some of the Sins, he's a bit playful and giggly during his rut, at least nearing the end. Only then will he actually start talking. Even then, his words are slurred and quiet so you can barely hear what he's saying over the noises surrounding the both of you.

By the end of it, he wants you up and out asap. He won't make it seem like he's rushing you to get out, but he won't give you any reasons to stay any longer. He knows he's been out of work for a long while (you know it's bad when Kam won't even talk to him) so he needs to leave at some point that day as well.

Notice how I said he gets right back to work after? His energy did not deplete once during that whole thing. He's one of the only Sins that can get away with that shit

Raivath is a butterfly. They don't do that, but he's a hybrid so he has to suck it up and deal with it. He gets it every 30 years.

Which isn't often at all so he never really has to deal with it anyway

But just like Siran's, since it doesn't come often, it hits like a ford F-150

Adrienne always offers to deal with it and he always refuses. The last thing he would want is another work related relationship and I don't think his moral code would allow that anymore

Raivath doesn't fuck around to begin with and even though his mind is clouded, he's stubborn ass still won't fuck around.

Do you know how strong his right hand is by this point? Probably too strong. At least his voluntary celibacy is keeping him fit

But seriously, he'd lock himself in his office and try to ignore it to at least try and get some work done. It doesn't take him too long to realize that the boner he's stuck with is actually going to start working against him if he doesn't handle it

So he does, in hopes that it'll die down for a little while so he can get something done. Of course that doesn't work, but he's getting off and really that becomes all he cares about.

No one cares that he's dealing with his heat. They'll still come knocking on his door to ask him questions. Some people (like Nash and Aqui) taught him that he should really get multiple locks and barricade the door before getting to business.

Usually people just forget. They knock and when they hear his shaky voice followed by a quiet moan, they just go "oh my bad" and leave him alone.

It doesn't seem like something you forget about but he rarely ever leaves his room or his office unless he needs to get food so it just seemed like he was going through his normal schedule.

His rut lasts 2-3.5 weeks. Or so he thinks. Because after that time, he practically goes into hibernation for like a week. He finishes (pause) with his hands weak, his body aching and shaking, and his balls empty. Who wouldn't want to sleep after that?

Kazye gets his rut way more often than he would like.

To his dismay, his heat comes triyearly; once every 3 years.

He's so stubborn, he's more than willing to deal with his hard on and still go about his day. The only reason why he can't is because he bitches and whines more than usual and no one wants to deal with that. Plus, the other Sins can smell it on him if they get too close and they find it to be really distracting.

I won't say that Joule hasn't helped him with it but I also won't say that she has; take that as you will.

I would say that he does go out and find someone to fuck with or even just ask someone else at Hireath but let's remember he's the Sin of Sloth, he doesn't care enough to get up off his ass and take care of it. I feel like he's somehow grown some tolerance to it so he can ignore it better than the others. He can ignore it enough to at least get a bit of work done, but then he'd still have to take breaks to release

Honestly, if he has nothing better to do, he can just sleep it off. It's only 2-3 weeks

By the end of it, he just feels a bit more tired than usual.

Anasuya becomes extremely emotional during her rut

It's hard to tell what she's emotional about until you ask her, it could really be anything. She often gets dramatic moments even when she's not in her rut so no one would suspect anything until she blurts out how badly she wants to be fucked

Only wears dark skirts for the time being because she has the biggest fear that someone will be able to see how wet she is (which wouldn't normally happen but she's paranoid as fuck)

Speaking of which, she still goes out and about during her rut, even though she wants to stay inside and complain about how horrible her life is

I mean, she's a fashion designer. She has to go get her materials, and life stops for no one. Of course she could send Laura out but she's a firm believer in "if you want something done well, do it yourself."

She still takes Laura out to shop with her because she wants to eventually let her go on her own (not because she doesn't want to go, but because she's becoming busier by the day)

The only reason I'm mentioning this is because she has shit to do and she's scared that people can just smell the heat on her. She puts on more perfume than usual to try and cover the scent

At some point, the scent enters the room before her and it just becomes suspicious

But still, even in public, she becomes more snappy and rude to replace the fact that she can't just cry all the time

Unlike Kazye, Anasuya does fuck around, but she just doesn't during her rut

Which sounds really strange because that sounds like the prime time for fucking around, but she's just too emotional it would just be really weird. No one wants to deal with her tears

Her heat lasts 2-3 weeks every 7 years. After it's done, she just goes right back to normal. No break time, who has time for that?

(It feels so weird to rewrite her)

Aibreanne, w/o Alexi, would absolutely be losing her mind during her rut

She's one of the Sins that doesn't really get to take a break. Plus she's Wrath? Don't even get near her

She gives people valid reasons to be scared of her and then gets mad when they're scared like babes. Go get some dick and chill the fuck out

I won't say who she'd go for (or who would volunteer) during her rut

Or maybe I will. Siran, Nash, Duke, and technically since it's a favor, Atlas are all up for grabs.

And it's not really an option it has to be one of them. If she doesn't calm the fuck down and gets her shit together, Hireath isn't really gonna function for those 1-4 weeks.

1-4 weeks sounds insane, and it is, but it's also because she recently became a hybrid so her body is still kinda outta wack

Just like some of the others, she's also the type of person to bitch and whine all the time. Way snappier than usual

She has accidentally wacked people with her tail during that time

Basically, w/o Alexi, she's still a bit too honest

*She's also pretty quick to tell him. It went from her not really wanting to tell him cuz she thinks it's embarrassing to her just saying "I'm in a bit of a rut, can you help me out?"

With Alexi, her words are still unfiltered but she has a bit more control of it. But that's only if they're fucking constantly

It's completely possible that they're not, they're both fairly busy people, but if that's the case, she'd be EVEN WORSE. Just saying rude shit almost unprovoked

Everyone knows that they shouldn't talk about it because they don't wanna get their ass beat but it can be kind of a lot sometimes

If Alexi just walked in, she's already on him. She has to be touching him 98% of the time so she can function

Even if she's just laying on his lap she'd just be like :)

For some reason I didn't mention this earlier, but she'd be noticeably warmer than she was before

She gets her heat twice a year, but eventually it'll change to once every 3 years

AQUINAS

THIS HORNY BASTARD

Excuse me but she's not settling down for shit, no one can expect her to even come to work during her rut

If anything, the people who will replace her when it does happen know that she's never even gonna think about coming in

She is fucking everyone and their momma's. Her body count is probably off the charts just because of her heats.

And the thing is, she doesn't need to be doing all this. She just uses it as an excuse.

Of course heats are generally bad and annoying and they just suck. But also she's a bear so she really only feels the absolute need to mate for less than a week during her heat

Parties. All the time. Every minute of every hour. She's even going to parties in other universes

If she didn't straight up mention that she's in heat, no one would even notice

She's more straightforward than usual (who knew that was possible) and if you're not fucking with it, she's gone. Like immediately.

Her heat lasts 2 weeks and happens every 5 years

She has a crazy amount of energy (due to how much she eats) so she doesn't even get a little tired after. She just goes right back to normal

Fun fact, Nash is now just a "fallen angel" so he's not a hybrid, no heat for him

It's not like people are missing out, he's horny 80% of the time anyway

[lunmelia]

Listen I know that Jack had to “grow up fast” because the world is a “dangerous place” or whatever but if he was born a baby?? I would’ve watched the hell out of that show. Just two dudes, their mum and an angel raising the devil’s baby. Because I say that they kicked Lucifer’s ass to the alternate world and everyone lives (except Kelly. Sorry.). Could you imagine? 

You have Mary; the woman who has experience in raising two babies, even if one was only for six months.

You have Dean; the man who basically raised Sam and has vague memories of helping out when his brother was a baby. Helped Lisa with her son and baby niece. Took care of a shapeshifter baby for a day. Also had a daughter for a couple of days but didn’t interact with her much. 

You have Sam; not much experience. Also took care of a shapeshifter baby for a day. Strong in research, might manage to find them at least a paragraph of how to raise a nephilim. Killed his niece. Not a great sign but he promises he won’t do that this time. 

You have Castiel; the angel expert. Is a literal angel. Has no experience with babies apart from that one night he babysat for his co-worker. Kind-of-sort-of-not-really a dad to a teenage girl. Only times he’s had to interact with a nephilim is when he’s been ordered to kill one, so, not a good sign but he promises he won’t do that this time. 

Together, they make do. But holy shit is raising Jack tough. 

He may not have a true form like Castiel but he does have wings and a true voice. Which he can’t control. So the tantrums. The tantrums. When he was born he made their ears bleed from the crying, and the lights exploded. Cas was miraculously able to calm him down before further damage was done, but the humans always make sure to have earplugs on them from then on. They also had to buy a large supply of lightbulbs to replace the ones in the bunker every time he cries. 

They had to baby proof the bunker. And I mean baby proof the hell out of the bunker. You think a normal house can be dangerous for a baby? The bunker is huge. And full of knives, guns, spellbooks, ancient artifacts, and just about a thousand other things that are not. good. to have around a baby. The baby proofing took a week. Two days of exploring the bunker and recording everything that needed to be baby-proofed, two shopping trips in a day to buy the things needed, and another three days of installing everything. Cas had to stay with Jack in his room while Mary, Sam and Dean did all the baby proofing. 

(also yes this is an AU in which Dean and Cas get their shit together, confess their feelings, build a house and raise Jack as his dads. the build a house part comes in when Jack is like 3)

The absolute freakout Dean had when Jack flew the first time. It happened when he was five months old, and Dean was changing his diaper. He turned around for a second to throw out the wipes. Heard the flap of wings, turned back around with a greeting for Cas on his lips, and Jack was gone. It went like this: Dean, staring at the empty table: ... Jack? Jack- *realisation* Cas! Cas, the baby’s gone! Cas! The baby can fly! Baby’s flying- Cas, appearing in front of him with a giggling Jack in his arms: yes, I am well aware Dean: oh my god- Jack: *disappears again* Dean: *yelps in alarm* Cas: *simply reaches up and just. plucks Jack out of thin air. one moment there’s empty air and the next Jack is just in Cas’ hands* Cas: this may become... difficult Dean, leaning over with his hands on his knees: I’m gonna have a heart attack

Turns out, baby Jack can heal! Which is what Mary discovered when once she had held Jack after coming back from a hunt with a few scrapes, they miraculously disappeared. 

You know when toddlers will get into the flour and leave a mess that you have to clean up for the next two hours? Yeah, well Jack got into a box of spellbooks and opened one which released monsters from fables. So that was a very panic-filled 6 hours that included Sam, Dean and Mary researching how to put them back / kill them while Cas held Jack close to make sure he didn’t fly away. Turns out, baby-proofing a bunker is pretty useless when said baby can fly through walls.

Apart from the many mishaps thathappened during raising Jack from infancy to toddlerhood, he’s just a weird kid. And kids are usually weird, but Jack is weird. 

Sam basically sprinted back to the car with a five-year-old Jack in his arms after Jack had held a woman’s hand in his at a playground and gently told her, “the events that lead to your father’s death were never your fault. He is in his Heaven now and although he is at peace, he begs that you make room in your heart for forgiveness of his wrong doings.” Yeah, they were very close to moving town when that happened. 

One day when he was 6, he walked outside into the back yard and just sat down in a random spot and stared at the ground. After a couple of minutes of glancing out the window to check on him, Dean walked up to him. Dean: whatchu up to, kid? Jack: there is a daisy that is going to grow and bloom here in 15 days. I’ve never seen a flower grow. I would like to watch it, if that’s okay? Dean: you want to sit here, in this exact spot, for 15 days so you can watch a flower grow? Jack, still not taking his eyes off the spot: yes Dean, who’s honestly used to this behaviour after witnessing it for the past two years: ... alright, sure. I’ll bring you dinner in a couple of hours, that sound good? Jack, finally looking up with a beaming smile: yes, thank you! (Cas and Dean did not let him sit in the same spot for 15 days. They did sit next to him for like two hours when the daisy did bloom, though. And despite the creak and buzzing ache in his knees and back, Dean can’t find it in himself to regret it.) 

he had a phase when he was 7 where he would say hi to everyone he came across. Everyone. Dean and Cas cannot make one shopping trip with him without everyone in that store knowing Jack’s name. He says bye when they leave too. 100% every time they get at least 5 people saying bye back. 

On the year he turned 8 they decided to enrol him in school. After weeks of telling him not be “weird” and teaching him to be as normal of a kid as he could be. When the 4 of them are confidant that he won’t go around using his powers, they enrol him. They did not anticipate the school calling him the first day, telling them that Jack had explained to the other kids that Santa isn’t real and they should “learn to not set themselves up for disappointment or believe what their parents say” which caused the entire class to burst out into tears. It was another “maybe we should move town” moment.

Another kid: my dad broke his leg. he has to walk with crutches now. sometimes he lets me use them! Jack: both my dads have died. one of them was torn to shreds by hellhounds who then dragged his soul down to hell where he was tortured for 40 years, but then father rescued him, that was how they met. but then father was blown to bits by my biological father. but then my grandfather resurrected him! they’re fine now.  Their teacher: uh, wow... Jack. sure sounds like you have some very vivid dreams Jack, remembering he’s not supposed to talk about this kind of stuff: ah, yes, of course... dreams. I woke up... crying. a lot. the dreams... scared me. 

I have... so many other little moments in my head, but this post is already so long so let me know if anyone wants more. 

[stormyykat]

stormy . stormy can you tell me more abt aka. he is silly to me and i love his divorcecore swag in the akalum ship

OK SHURE !!!

hes one of my many fail losers who i hate very much..

-full name aka ravenway. omnisexual probs. at least 5 ft tall. fox guy but can shapeshift a little. "father" of savari [dont mean that in a omg he isnt father way but in a he sucks way].

-divorced 3 times over [first with koko. they broke up because of disagreements on how to lead skywaiy. second with tiki whose name i still need to change, they honestly just weren't compatible. and third with calum. they were actually in love but calum started to politically and morally disagree with aka more and more and he couldn't take it anymore, so he kickstarted the resistance and then ofc aka tries to kill him by stealing his face and also curses him + his sister. love loses.]

-he's an incredibly angry and awful bitch who sucks. hes constantly trying to create the perfect world. because he has creation powers he can't exactly destroy things like he wants to, so he just sends unwanted things to the void where they are stuck in space hell forever. he puts announcer up there too as a watchman but kinda forgot abt him so... this is also where he sends calum after the divorce event.

-he usually tries to force others to do his destruction work for him, when he cant just send the problem to the void. he struck gold with ithna [god of loyalty] and monte [sad and alone] and they are his two most trusted officers. ithna was the one who destroyed the vasselott kingdom and monte is the one who deals mostly with the resistance.

-during the story of douselfend hes the main antagonist, trying his best to stop his daughter's mission to wreck his shit. his first attempt at this was actually pinecone [assassin for hire] but he failed and got befriended. his reach on savari becomes very limited once she goes to planet toolah, as that is the planet tiki rules, and he is banned from there. [technically speaking he could still go there but. tiki is the god of war i dont think that would go well.] most of the story is him preparing to stop savari once she makes it back to skywaiy.

-the reason he wants to kill his daughter is because she is actually one of aka's attempts to create a perfect living thing, but savari finds this out and isnt very happy about it! who knew treating ur daughter like a test subject would make her not like you??? human interaction is so difficult /eye roll......

-for the period of time after he almost kills calum he is very disarrayed and depressed. he absolutely HATES feeling bad about what he did to him because in his mind, calum deserved it and more. however, a part of him regrets it deeply. it takes awhile for him to recover but when he sees calum again after he comes back because of all the story shenanigans, its enough to send him into a complete spiral of emotional destruction. this leads to him deciding the best way to be free of this is to just. destroy the process that allows the people of douselfend to exist [soulbelt, holds all the souls so people can be reincarnated, also allows current souls to be stabilized and supported] and start his vision for perfection from the ground up. calum pulls his epic gamer move [send every god somewhere else other than douselfend] and aka ends up in. uh idk maybe at a furrycon i actually havent decided where to put him.

and yah <3

[neonthewrite]

Washed Up Winchesters 7

The team is closing in on the solution to their mystery! What's it gonna be, dream team?!

Cowritten with @nightmares06, the writer behind the @brothersapart multiverse!

( 1 ) ( 2 ) ( 3 ) ( 4 ) ( 5 ) ( 6 ) -7- ( 8 )

Story Tag

Read Time ~15 minutes

~~~~~

Jacob didn’t exit the inner roads of the city a moment too soon. A few people had started to wander closer to figure out what he was up to, despite the officer from before trying to convince them to move along. The resident giant didn’t walk among the close-packed buildings very often at all, and it only showed off how tall he was compared to everything else.

He was grateful to have passengers to pay attention to. He couldn’t think too much about his self-consciousness that way.

Once they were back on the outskirts of town, he glanced down often to get more directions from Sam or Minnie (Chase, as usual, didn’t seem too fussed about the direction they went). They eventually led him to a place well outside of town. None of the bumpiest roads even wound up out there, and the hills, covered in brush and rocks, wouldn’t be kind to most people on foot. A few dense clusters of trees formed extra barriers against travel in that direction.

“So you think these, uh, shapeshifter thingies are hiding somewhere in there?” he asked, pausing once again to consult the miniature monster hunters. “I’m not gonna be able to make a stealthy entrance, so what’s the plan?”

"Keep an eye out for any stray animals," Sam cautioned. "We don't know what their animal forms are yet, and skinwalkers are more versatile compared to werewolves like that. Whatever the pack is, anyone they bite will also turn into that animal."

"Who needs stealth when you have a giant on your side?" Dean commented, eliciting a side-eye from Sam. Likely his younger brother was remembering how trigger happy Dean had been just a few short hours back. Though considering the part that past giants had played in Blefuscu's history, it was understandable that the mini-monster hunter would feel threatened when seeing another one spring to life from the story books.

“Right?” Chase agreed. “These skinwalker thingies had no idea what they were getting into, invading Lilliput.”

Jacob’s mouth twisted into a skeptical frown. He might be big, and he’d used that to his advantage once or twice, but it didn’t make him an expert here. The monster hunting expertise all settled on Sam and Dean’s shoulders. He was prepared to help however they might need, but he didn’t like the thought of living as an open challenge to any monster that wanted to try something.

Minnie fidgeted. Her brow furrowed. “Can we just find them and get it over with?”

Jacob cupped his hand closer to his chest. “Yeah,” he tried to sound reassuring. “Just gonna …” he reached down to the tops of the nearest grouping of trees, brushing his hands over them. The young, supple trees bent back at his coaxing, though not without some creaking branches and snapping twigs, and birds swarmed away from his hand like flies.

“Can you guys tell if there’s any tracks or anything through there?”

Dean gave Jacob such a flat look that it could have dried up an ocean. Dried it up and left cracked salt flats behind. "What kind of tracks do you think we can spot from here, after you go messin' around with everything?" He pointed at the way the area had been affected by Jacob's movement.

Jacob glanced down and, in an overplayed show of drawing his hand back, let the trees spring into place with a cascade of yet more twigs and leaves. “I didn’t think they’d be climbing around in the trees,” he defended. As for how much they could have seen on the ground … he saw the point. He was too used to the Lilliputians being able to see much more detail than he ever could, and never paused to think about how high up he had everyone.

“Don’t worry, buddy,” Chase said, patting Jacob’s palm. “Ya did your best. You said it yourself, you won’t be sneaking up on ‘em.”

Jacob rolled his eyes and sighed, and some of the birds that were swarming from his recent disturbance scattered even further in the sudden breeze. “Right.”

He pressed forward, this time not paying much mind to the clusters of trees unless there was motion among them. Usually, it was a fox or another flock of birds, all irate for his presence. As he navigated around boulders jutting out of the ground and stepped over thick underbrush, he understood why no one made much use of the area. If he tried to set his passengers down right then, Chase and Minnie would definitely get themselves tangled up in something. Sam and Dean might fare only a little better.

As he crested the first hill, he paused. “I didn’t really see much in there,” he admitted. “Maybe I went the wrong way?”

It was Minnie who spoke up next, and she was staring down at a clearing at the foot of the hill. “There’s a flock of sheep.”

Chase snickered. “Jeez, Minnie, do we need to get you more lambs to look after? Sheep are on your brain today.”

She pointed at the clearing and shot him a scathing glare. “They’re on my brain because they’re there, Chase!”

"She's right," Sam put in helpfully, interrupting the siblings.

Indeed, the clearing ahead was populated with a peacefully grazing herd of sheep. Several "Baas" filtered back to the group in Jacob's hand. The giant had not gone unnoticed by the sheep, as most of them had given a wide berth to the side Jacob stood closest to.

Dean's eyes lit up with excitement. "If there's sheep, it's the perfect kind of place for shifters to make themselves right at home, especially if they're holed up for a while until they think they’re forgotten," he pointed out. "We should check the place out, see if there's any predators nearby that might be stalking the herd."

"I wonder how they all got over here," Minnie mused, even as Jacob looked for a good path down the gentle slope of the hill.

"Maybe the shapeshifter guys took 'em," Chase said. "We'll see if someone back in town is missing any."

"Just hope I won't scare 'em off," Jacob muttered. Even at his lowest volume, the four on his hand wouldn't miss his concern. Just his appearance over the crest of the hill had made some of the sheep nervous, from what he could see. He inched along towards the clearing, trying not to cause a landslide as he did.

Dean was unable to stop from bouncing on his heels while they waited, unaccustomed to waiting around for someone else to do all the work while he was stuck in the air.

"The longer you take, the more time they have to run off," he helpfully reminded Jacob, which got an annoyed look sent back at him from Sam.

"If any make a break for it, we'll just have Jake round them up," Sam said dryly.

Jacob sent a skeptical glance at his hand, but didn't argue. He had never tried to actually pick up the Lilliputian livestock before. At most, there were a few herds of cattle that allowed him to touch their backs. Mostly the animals still avoided him, and he didn't exactly blame them. Even now, his shadow over the hill crept over that green clearing and the sheep weren't any more curious about him than before.

If they did turn out to be stolen or lost, he'd probably be the one carrying them back over the hill. Hopefully the others would manage to help him keep from spooking the whole lot.

As soon as he was close enough, he crouched down, one hand braced on the ground while the other lowered his passengers to the grass. "Just gimme a shout if you spot trouble," he urged them.

Chase gave a thumbs up while he helped Minnie hop down from the hand. Then, before he could chirp out a response, he had to suppress a sneeze in the crook of his arm. "Oh yeah, I'm allergic to the air I guess," he complained.

"Just don't scare the flock," Minnie scolded.

Dean followed behind the younger pair of siblings, scowling. "We don't know where the skinwalkers are, so you two need to stick close to us," he told them sharply. "Chase, you're with me. Got it?"

"That means it's me and you," Sam said to Minnie with a smile. "Don't go out of earshot of the others, and watch my back."

“Oh, I definitely don’t plan to get lost out here,” Minnie muttered back. Chase would never let her live it down. That was another perk to having a giant so nearby. Jacob would be able to find them if they shouted for him, and he could pluck them right out of danger if they needed. Even so, she stuck close to Sam as she scanned the area for any signs of something out of the ordinary.

By contrast, Chase stuck close to Dean out of convenience more than wariness. He didn't want to get lost out there either. “Doesn’t look like anyone’s bothered this flock yet,” he noted. “Think the guys are nearby still?”

"We're here to find out," Dean said, more sharply than he meant. The fact that they didn't know for sure unnerved him more than usual. Combine that with the fact that they were well away from their familiar stomping grounds in Blefuscu, and he was on edge.

The secluded field hardly seemed the place for a dangerous pack of shapeshifters, but Dean had seen weirder in his time as a hunter. They could take no chances. Selecting a direction that led away from Sam's pair and Jacob, he took point, leading Chase into the flock of sheep to search for their owners.

"Baa."

Dean ignored the sound of the sheep as they milled restlessly around the intruders, trying to spot any color in the field of white. The sheep had to have gotten this far up the hills somehow, but he wasn't seeing any sign of their caretakers.

"Baa."

This time, the sound of an impatient sheep was shortly followed by one of them headbutting into Dean's legs. Caught off-guard, he toppled into the field and vanished among the woolly animals.

"Oh shit! Dean!" Chase blurted, a smile only briefly flashing across his face. When the determined monster hunter didn't catch himself or spring right back up, he lurched over to where he'd seen him fall over. The sheep were restless at this point, no doubt owed in part to their sudden intrusion. Chase had to sidle around several of them before he could find where Dean landed.

He patted one nearby sheep's head distractedly as he knelt down. "Scuse me." He got his hands on Dean's arm to help pull him up to a seat. "What happened?"

Dean rubbed his head, blinking in confusion. "I think... the sheep?"

The herd was growing more restless by the minute now, a multitude of baas surrounding the pair. As Dean got unsteadily to his feet, a second sheep rammed its head into his legs and sent him tumbling down again.

"Ah, jeez!" Chase groused. How Minnie could keep a whole flock of sheep in line, he would never know. "Calm down, guys!" He had to step around one uppity ram that had wandered it's way between him and Dean in all the milling around.

"They don't seem to like us much," he said, exasperated. "Maybe we oughta just go around the flock instead of through it."

He knelt down to help once again, and this time one of the sheep let out an indignant baaa right next to his ear. Slapping a hand over his ear, Chase frowned. "Oh calm down a second, wouldja? We're going!"

Dean ended up needing Chase's help to stand, surrounded by the annoyed bleats of the flock. He scowled right back at them. "Seriously, since when are sheep this irritating?"

~~~

Not far away, Sam was having similar issues.

He was unable to go more than a few steps before another sheep would try to headbutt him off his feet. However, Minnie was distinctly left alone in comparison, with all the ire of the sheep directed towards the younger Winchester brother.

Minnie frowned and scanned the handful of sheep currently swarming around Sam. They didn't look sickly, or even all that scared. They were just annoyed by Sam for some reason.

"Hey, hey," she said gently, clicking her tongue at them. "What got you all worked up?" One sheep allowed her to pat its head once before shaking her off and returning to bleat at Sam.

She glanced across the flock to see Chase and Dean having similar problems, with a sea of indignant sheep in between the two groups. One look over her shoulder showed that Jacob hadn't moved and was poorly hiding his bemusement with the sight, so he probably couldn't be to blame for the flock's upset.

"Sam, we should--" she cut herself off, seeing him still struggling to keep his feet. Like her brother, she had to sidle her way past the sheep to get close enough to help him up. "We should check around the edges first, maybe. I dunno if I've ever seen a flock get this annoyed before."

“Yeah, let’s--” Whatever Sam was going to say was cut off when a ram headbutted him directly in the ass and sent him to faceplant in the dirt.

“Sam!”

Even from across the field, Dean had seen that Sam was in the same predicament as he was. The sheep were oddly focused on the Winchester brothers, while mostly ignoring the Lisongs. Frustrated, Dean pulled out his gun only to remember that it was out-of-commission from the saltwater. “Son of a bitc--”

He was knocked to the grass yet again, surrounded by increasingly agitated sheep. Chase, standing near him, made the mistake of trying to catch his fall. It ended with them both toppling into the sea of woolly troublemakers.

Minnie huffed in exasperation. “Chaaase,” she drawled, only to glance up as a shadow neared the flock.

“Okay, guys,” Jacob murmured, finally deciding he needed to step in. The first couple times the sheep had knocked Dean over, he’d been amused, but at this rate they’d never figure anything out. He would have to risk spooking some of the herd if only to deal with them later. He leaned forward, one hand planted firmly and flattening some sheep-free grass, while the other dipped down towards the flock where he’d last seen Dean and Chase fall over.

To his surprise, the sheep didn’t scatter in all directions from his shadow. At best, the ones near Dean and Chase bleated angrily and shuffled out of the way, giving him the space to scoop them both off the grass.

Before Jacob could do so, Dean bounded to his feet, fed up with the entire situation.

"That's ENOUGH!" he bellowed, yanking out his silver knife and brandishing it at the flock. "The next sheep to headbutt me gets its wool sheared off early!"

That somehow riled the sheep up even more, though they didn’t charge at him while the shadow of Jacob’s hand hovered overhead. Chase managed to regain his feet, suppressing a few sneezes from falling in the grass. All around the pair, the sheep bleated and a ram stomped just outside of Dean’s reach.

Jacob saw it before Dean or Chase did. While the ram in front made its odd show of defiance, another one edged towards them from behind. “Okay,” he muttered, “this is getting ridiculous.”

He reached down and plucked both of them up, gently herding them towards his palm before whisking them up. Once they were hovering over the heads of the many indignant baaas of the flock, he focused on Sam and Minnie.

The sheep still didn’t want to let Sam up, especially after Dean’s outburst, and they’d managed to shuffle Minnie away from him. Two fingers scooped under Sam’s middle to haul him up before the sheep smothered him or started to bite at him or something. Once he deposited Sam with the other two on his hand, he finally offered a hand up for Minnie and explained his hasty actions. “This isn’t working. You guys are gonna get trampled if this keeps up.”

Finally free of the sheep thanks to Jacob's intervention, Dean was able to bring himself to stand on his own two feet, with no fear of getting butted over yet again.

"What is with these sheep?" he demanded angrily at the air. "Don't they know we're trying to help? If there's a pack of wolves around, it's only a matter of time for them!"

That was when it clicked for Sam.

"Holy shit," he breathed. "Holy shit."

[bao3bei4]

kpop music videos that gave their fans sexual brainworms

OR accidental fetish pop and its fringe fanbase: meditations on gendered desire 

large warning here: i am someone who has been into kpop for the past 10 years. however, i have always been an extremely casual fan. i do write fic, but not rpf. if any of that makes you not want to hear me talk about kpop rpf (or you don’t want to hear about it in general), please keep moving.

anyway, obviously pop is corporate, soulless, and manufactured. but sometimes some truly bizarre shit gets past the committees and destroys a generation. these are their stories.

the video that started this is all is got7’s just right, released july 10th, 2015.

yes that’s all 7 members of got7 (one is out of frame) shrunken down for your viewing pleasure. they live in your room and tell you you’re just right. 

this sheer fetish power of this video is nerfed only by how utterly sexless it is.

they’re styled like and dance like this. it’s a totally unironic sendup of the seminal work that preceded it by four years, “what makes you beautiful” by the white kpop group “one direction.” the chaste energy of the whole thing makes you legitimately wonder if the good people at jyp have just never heard of microphilia. (during a dramatic reading of this piece, here a friend interjected seriously, “i think it’s korean culture not to talk about things like this, fetishes in the workplace.”)

it’s for the best, honestly, though because the actress in the music video is lee ja in, who was 11 when the video was shot. considering that the members themselves ranged in age from 18-23 at the time, i think it’s actually very impressive that we only have to cancel one. 

you receive absolutely no prizes for guessing that it’s jackson wang we’re sending to social justice prison. why’d he do this? no one asked. 

at any rate, got7 fans, or “gans” (they actually call themselves igot7s which is too twee for me), have much to think about here: all 7 very small members of got7 sneaking into their room, possibly weird age play, and jackson wang eating a very large cake.

let’s see what they actually did. 

twitter was actually very tame. the most charged thing i found was (unsurprisingly) from a bts fan (“ban”). i don’t actually know what it means, but i think it means something.

so, of course, i turned to the internet’s last bastion of free speech, where you can say whatever the fuck you want and receive cheers, or as the kids say, “kudos.” that is, i read fanfiction. 

for those of you who don’t know your herstory, i started my journey at Asianfanfics.com, where, at the time of writing, there were 12,067 got7 stories. i want to start this by saying that i think feminism won, because someone was paying real human dollars to advertise their irene/wendy fanfiction on a banner ad, which is quite possibly a win for women for everywhere. 

anyway, Asianfanfics.com’s search engine sucks ass (i kept on finding stories about different combinations of bts members worrying about their weight and being reassured by another member that were entitled “just right”), so i decided to look through all got7 stories written between july 2015 and december 2015. 

but, alas, not a single got7 microphilia fic to be found. 

also, some genre commentary while i’m here: i think the stories i respect the most are the “[y/n] is a ordinary girl who’s assigned to be got7’s manager! can she make them into superstars? as sparks begin to fly, can she keep it professional?” like fuck yeah that sounds like a kickass dating sim. it almost definitely already is one. i salute all the teens around the world for buying into the fantasy of dating a boy band member that they themselves sell you. 

however, i don’t think i respect the “[member a] and [member b] are mafia/jocks and nerds/college students/high schoolers” concepts. in my opinion, the whole fantasy of boy band member is their personas, their hidden real personalities, their celebrity, and the show business setting. find a different intellectual property if you wanna write about school. i even respect the “yugyeom drank girl juice [not estrogen] and turned into a sexy girl” story more, because at least it knows exactly what it wants, and also because they’re all still boy band members. well, band members. shout out to yugyeom. 

so, anyway, i looked elsewhere. at the time of writing, archive of our own only had 11,645 got7 stories, but it does have a better search, so it effectively has more. as an aside, i think it’s so funny, and mildly disorienting at first, that archive of our own separates the “music & bands” section from the “celebrities & real people” section. boy band members aren’t real people. 

the first problem i encountered is that only 20 or so stories were written within a year of just right’s release. absolute cringe gans. don’t you care about your boys? there were zero stories tagged “vore” or “microphilia” either. stories containing the word “tiny” that were rated either “explicit” or “mature” were all normal (“normal”) size fetishization rather than, you know, just right. 

however, i learned my lesson from twitter. i realized that what had happened was that watching this video had created sleeper agents, just waiting for their activation phrase. that activation phrase? bangtan boys. and yeah, lo and behold, there was one! unfortunately (fortunately?) it had nothing to do with got7, let alone just right, so i’m not going to talk about it.  

basically what i learned is that this video may have actually been very normal, and my brain has just been destroyed by being too online at a young age. 

however, there are plenty more videos in this genre. i present to you exo wolf, a banger from may 30th, 2013. i say banger, because in a comedic inversion, it’s actually fucking terrible. 

this video is pretty self-explanatory in terms of why it might induce certain responses. 

let’s get the formalities out of the way. this video, the member who’s getting cancelled is kai. he has braids in this video :/

also skating on thin ice: xiumin and chen. guys what was up with the whole exo-m thing? like, we’re gonna have a cpop subgroup, but it’s going to be part chinese members and part korean members that we’ll give a chinese name? unsurprisingly, the three exo members who have departed from the group are all chinese. they weren’t able to stand the microaggressions probably. but xiumin and chen remain uncancelled as an official chinese apology for five thousand of years of on-and-off invasions of korea. sorry guys that was kinda fucked up. our bad! 

anyway, there are basically three avenues for exo fans to take: 1) humans with wolfish characters (usually wolf pack dynamics, which even wolves themselves don’t fucking use so i think all of you should shut up. the real omega here is your brain), 2) werewolves (duh), and 3) wolves with human characteristics (i.e. standard furry fare). 

exo themselves let all these possibilities exist at the same time, superimposing them over each other, which is very woke and egalitarian of them. let’s see what the people decided. awoo.

Asianfanfics dot com had many stories in this vein. i feel very validated that this time i was able to correctly predict a fetish. that said, briefly returning to my earlier comment regarding alternate universes: it’s intense psychic whiplash reading about these vampires and werewolves, and going okay okay luhan is a vampire this that whatever, and then seeing the actual real performance photos the author attaches at the bottom of each chapter. bro i forgot these were actual people.... it breaks immersion so bad... i’m sorry, i just can’t believe that any of these dancing boys are having weird vampire sex with wings or whatever. 

archive of our own also had many stories in this vein. and i think there are some important difference between the two sites worth talking about. 

first of all, i think the higher engagement rate of archive of our own really enables some of the authors to get super bold. it makes Asianfanfics.com seem a little quaint, actually. like the wordcounts are waaay longer, for one. it’s uncommon for a story hosted on Asianfanfics.com to be more than a few thousand words long (most of them could easily be published in the new yorker), whereas some of these archive of our own people have written full length novels about if the members of exo were werewolves. i guess it’s just intensely demoralizing for the aff.com crew to get, like, three comments per story. 

the second big difference is that i’m noticing more common themes between the ao3 crew’s writing. like stan intertextuality, or plagiarism, or whatever, but they seem to be implicitly engaging with each other’s characterizations, storylines, and tropes. i think it is because they probably all follow each other on twitter. (i have been active on twitter for three weeks now so i am an expert on fanfiction twitter.) 

anyway, like not that i am a particularly big gan (cannot even list all the members), but these people seem to have reached a very specific consensus on how jackson wang, for instance, would react in a variety of situations that really surprises me? if i were to sit down and write a got7 story, i think the fuckboitude, the douchebaggery is a big part of his charm. not to be nationalist or anything, but for god’s sake, he’s from hong kong. but these people have him as very sensitive, lots of protective instincts. not that i understood what anyone on aff.com was doing with his character either, but they did all seem to be doing different things. “kudos” to that, i guess.

but: exo. wolf. i searched the “wolves” tag. this filtered the list down from 33459 stories to 52 stories. and the “wolves” tag was very different from the aff.com “wolf” tag. for the most part, aff.com liked stories where a member was a wolf (usually shapeshifting), feral boy, lots of y/n, lots of y/n dating a feral boy who is secretly a wolf. 

ao3 really, really, really likes alpha/beta/omega stories. sorting by the most popular stories, only five on the first page weren’t a/b/o. and one of them was a cis f!baekhyun story, so i think the intended effect was communicated. anyway, let’s talk about some of the themes. 

first of all, i’m disappointed. today’s bonus cancellation is of ao3 “wolves” writers. why the fuck are you drawing so heavily from european wolves?? there are wolves in asia!! you don’t need to keep giving their packs and ranks weird latin names. i will kill you. i hate italy. korea literally has a native wolf. i hate all of you!!! if you want to write caucasian wolves go watch that dumbass cw show!!!! my god. 

the second theme (the first one was white supremacy) is that no one wants to be a wolf who fucks. i think that we need a sex positivity movement, or something, for omega rights. like, are all of you doing okay? you’re queering misogyny by inventing new genders to oppress. another level to “no one wants to be a wolf...” is the “who fucks” part. there are so many consent issues. and not even in like, a sexy intentional way? in a “i genuinely do not think this author understands how their writing comes off” way. unfortunately i am sensitive to untagged sexual coercion, and there was a lot of that.

at any rate, the aff.com wolves were at peace with being wolves, very self-actualized. the ao3 wolves know that every minute they spend alive on this bitch of an earth is suffering, and also sex.

the third theme is the evolution of y/n. y/n, who, in a startlingly woke move for aff.com, is almost always korean, is a girl main character stumbling into love, boy bands, and wolves (i think it’s because aff.com is oldschool kpop fandom, so therefore heavily asian itself in userbase). but y/n is not the main character in ao3 stories. she is the straight best friend. in what i think is a hilarious move, ao3 authors invert the gay best friend paradigm to give the gay main character a straight girl as best friend. she usually calls him “a gay,” she has lots of thoughts on boys, and she knows his sexuality better than he does and before he does. (sidebar: if all the men are gay, and all the women are straight...)

there’s a really fun twist to this, though, because the main character is always a self-insert in fanfiction. but where older fanfiction like aff.com was at peace with this and literalize it via y/n shenanigans, modern fic writers who haven’t finished distangling their complicated relationship with wanting to be a man who loves other men instead simply imbue their main character with their essence. a little voodoo doll sehun, with a lock of y/n hair. 

this creates a deeply ambivalent relationship with gender in these stories. the main character is usually an omega, but one who resents being an omega. their body and its parts is usually described, if at all, as ostensibly intersex (except more offensively), but in practice, these discourses inscribe a trans body. (nb: i think cis writers approach this in a really fucked up fetishizing way, but i hope by this point we know that that goes without saying) it’s incredibly straightforward to read this, and see the underlying desires and fears in a heady cocktail of unfiltered writing that’s deeply confessional. you know when freud had people say whatever the fuck they wanted and figured they’d eventually free associate into releasing their subconscious into reality? yeah. 

okay, and while we’re on the topic, let’s talk f(x) nu abo, released on may 4th, 2010. 

this is a blitzy, maximalist, amped up dance hit that even has its own applause and cheers built in. it’s so fucking annoying, and i love it. 

this song is on here because the second most popular kpop a/b/o story on ao3 is called “nu abo” except it’s about bts. that’s offensive enough in its own right. write something about f(x) (702 works). when will women win the right to have their own self-lubricating holes.

anyway, even though f(x) is probably innocent in all of this, i’m still cancelling amber liu. 

for queerbaiting. who told her to look like ruby rose but hot? and for what? i’m also cancelling her for racism, but that wasn’t in this video. 

moving on to a double feature: vixx voodoo doll and vixx chained up, released november 19, 2013 and november 9, 2015 respectively. this is because while voodoo doll is more formative, i think the fans who write fanfiction today got into kpop more recently, so we are casting a wide net.

anyway, voodoo doll is jam packed with weird pseudo-medical imagery, blood, vivisection, bondage, puppet shit, femdom, sharps, piercings, asphyxiation, dollification, stabbing/penetration metaphors, and a really sick and catchy dance. god that looks like the list of tags on the a/b/o wolf stories. 

for this song, we’re cancelling you, for being way too into this song when you were 13.

vixx voodoo doll made me goth i guess! insert that pic of the your music saved me sign, except it saved me from getting into emo or pop punk probably. 

chained up, comparatively, is much more tame. the only thing of note about it is that there are around 10 completely different chokers and choker looks the members wear in this music video. also they’re singing about being chained up, but that seemed a bit obvious. 

we could argue that voodoo doll is gay while chained up is gay (derogatory); that voodoo doll is queer while chained up is gay; that chained up is a sensitive masterpiece of omega4omega sexuality. but we’re not going to. 

we’re going to talk about what voodoo doll fanfiction was and was not. first, Aff.com had plenty of it. however, i was extremely disappointed to see that much of it did not hew to the spirit of vixx voodoo doll. my god, the voodoo doll becoming the one preying upon you disgusts me. the fantasy of the voodoo doll is that of absolute power. the idea that the doll itself has agency? instantly breaks the fantasy. i’m even not into voodoo dolls and i’m offended. 

i also don’t think it’s part of the voodoo doll fantasy to release the doll. the only story on there that involved Y/N kidnapping vixx members like in the music video was unavailable because the author deactivated their account. come back qxeen what did you see. 

i think this got off track, actually, in that i was mostly wondering why these people imprinted differently onto vixx voodoo doll than i did. like i don’t think you’re supposed to actually like straightforwardly absorb the morals and aesthetics of music videos like it’s propaganda. however, it’s more entertaining if you do. i hope ao3 doesn’t let me down. 

out of the then 5932 works in the vixx fandom (the least out of every group so far, excluding f(x) because they’re women), 59 of them included the word “voodoo” somewhere. that’s 1%. i legitimately can’t tell if that’s high or not. 

after some more cursory reading through the first page of popular results, my big takeaway is that people watched that video and wanted to be tortured and enslaved? but not, like, in a sexy way where the torturing is the point, the way where the point is to suffer bravely and beautifully, to endure the world’s harms like jesus on the cross, and then to fall into the arms of a beautiful boy who may or may not be the one hurting you in the first place. 

there’s a certain predictability to these fantasies. like it’s not even masochism, which would be fun at least, it’s literally just like the desire to be beautiful, even as you suffer. and i do find that a little boring. (but, i mean, you can’t help being a woman!)

sidebar: on chained up. what’s interesting about chained up, is that most of the then 38 “chained up” works (likely because the video has no storyline) are about the members fucking during chained up promotions. no one’s ever actually chained up, but whatever. it’s fine. it’s fine! 

anyway, here, more than ever, the nature of desire is stripped bare. i’ve written before [elsewhere in the unreleased tshirt cinematic universe] on how kpop boys are, through fandom, re-formed as white, or more strongly, i guess, blank slates. it’s really interesting to me how so much of this dynamic of projection is enabled by the fact that they’re asian men. they’re infantilized, feminized vessels; they’re seductive, but childlike, oblivious to their own charms, so nonthreatening; they have uncontrollable desires for sex, they’re scared of sex. and above all else, white women submit themselves to them, insert themselves into them. basically kpop fans tend to rework old school yellow peril and emasculation fantasies to reenact their own desires, often white, often cishet on them. 

what i am saying is that there’s another thesis about forced feminization and its racialized subtext in here. obviously gender is a racialized construct to begin with, but like it’s fascinating to argue that when white women remake asian men according to their own desires, that is, into themselves, they (hopefully) unintentionally echo these old fears about the sexual order.

it illuminates, it seems, the underlying dynamic in the denigration of asian men, which is of course the fear of miscegenation. now, my breathtaking ability to make everything about me aside, miscegenation is interesting because it presents a racial synthesis, beginning to collapse and trouble the artificial designations of purity. so we make asian men into white women, and end up with an unsettling hybrid. i’m sure this has deep implications for me personally.

but i think we already knew that quite a few of these people had yellow fever, so let’s talk about the gender dialectic at play. basically, the above dynamic, of making men into women (whether literally, in body; or subjectively, in mind; or even relationally, as they are objectified into passive vessels for your desire) coexists with the ostensibly converse dynamic, in which the straight women desires to be a gay man. these aren’t necessarily in conflict: it could easily be that these are different writers writing different stories, that both are ways of expressing discontent with existing in a raced, gendered body, or even that the end product of both is the same.

it’s been a while without a picture. all of you now have the legal right to hunt and kill me for making a d&g joke.

anyway, what i want to talk about is how these two fantasies can coexist. that by making a man into yourself, you can speak on your own desire in a passive way. my normal interest is analyzing forced masc fantasies (albeit in chinese opera lol), and they bear little to no resemblance to this kind of fantasy. this kind offers plausible deniability, of course, because wanting things is embarrassing. but also the fantasy isn’t about wanting to be a man, it’s about having no choice but to be a failed one. the gender pessimism running through these stories is palpable. basically andrea long chu wants what wolf fanfiction writers know: everyone is an omega, and everyone hates it.

at any rate, this racialized dynamic is one that i wasn’t sure how to bring up throughout this piece, mainly because there is no definitive way for me to tell the race of any individual writer, beyond just like the clear and present vibes that i receive. but i think it structures a lot of the fantasies contained in this essay. (i felt more comfortable bringing up the gendered dynamic, because it was fairly trivial to find out the current gender of the person writing each story i was reading.) 

obviously we should return to the specter haunting this conversation: the very much alive david eng. i think this sort of argument is familiar to readers of racial castration, especially his chapter on m. butterfly. btw sorry for mentioning that play 2 out of 3 posts on this blog. i have problems.

let’s talk about the parallel imagery between the depiction of gallimard’s final speech and the fanfiction i’ve described above. in it, gallimard makes himself into his own dream woman, dressing in yellowface and robes, the costume of puccini’s original madame butterfly. and he laments his lost love:

there is a vision of the orient that i have. of slender women in chong sams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. who are born and raised to be the perfect women. who take whatever punishment we give them, and bounce back, strengthened by love, unconditionally.

in that, i see the self insert, and i see the sufferer of vixx voodoo fic. the fantasy that gallimard has about asian women is repeated, this time about asian men and a helpless identification with them. and on some level, gallimard’s women do have something very compelling to identify with: they suggest that there’s a way to endure white male violence without sacrifice, and even more potently, to enjoy it on some level.

but onward to the titular racial castration. eng argues that gallimard’s wilful ignorance of song’s true gender is a psychic castration -- song’s masculinity is diminished so that his own can be enhanced within their relationship. this, eng believes, acts out “richard fung’s contention that in western imaginary ‘asian and anus are conflated.’” this process stabilizes the relationship between the asian man and the white woman: they occupy the same place within the sexual dyad. 

this is, i think, why some people are addicted to writing from the bottom’s perspective. again -- not implying that irl bottoms don’t exist or that bottoms are psychically castrated lol -- but rather that you can fantasize about this ideal asian man that you can come to embody. in kpop rpf, rather than it being between a white man and an asian man (unless someone’s started writing chad future fic), it’s between two asian men. so this transformation is performed. whiteness is always intruding and so i think eng is helpful here to making it visible again. 

this essay isn’t a callout or actual cancellation or anything like that, i do wanna be clear. i guess i just like talking about fantasies, even the embarrassing ones, and where they come from. i think oftentimes in fandom spaces, we write a lot of stories off as idfic, and i think virtually every single one of the stories i referenced to write this fairly uncontroversially fall into that category. but i think calling something an “id” something or the other naturalizes the satisfaction it gives as purely instinctual and unconscious, when i do think there are deeper narratives at play. while i didn’t ever actually reference the base here (sorry), i do think it’s worth talking about how real world power shapes & maintains the superstructure, and thereby our fantasies. 

anyway in conclusion, maybe i was the one with sexual brainworms the whole time.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

[sleepy-exe]

Shapeshifter AU - 3

Iwaizumi x f!reader

<< Part 2 | Part 4 >>

Summary: Y/n has a mission to complete. Iwaizumi’s friend is in town.

Word count: 3k

Warnings:  work stress mentioned, alcohol + bar location, y/n makes bad choices (following a stranger to a second location, hanging out with the person she should probably avoid), also is kind of a creep (the creepy-ness won't last i swear), some people are drunk, including Oikawa, bless him, best boy is also best wingman, kinda, y/n refuses to put real names in her phone contacts, someone gets dumped/ghosted, Oikawa is so drunk

Not a warning but: Iwaizumi Hajime (27) Athletic Trainer. That’s what you’re here for, right? That’s what I’m here for.

Genre: sfw (for now, 18+ regardless), shapeshifter au, potential enemies to lovers

a/n: I introduced an OC in this part, Mizuki. I hope you come to love her. As someone who kins Oikawa, I gave him my “drunk persona” for the bar scene. He’ll be normal later, I swear.

Part 3: So We Meet Again

It was no secret among Y/n’s friends that she loved to visit the bars in downtown Osaka, but a locally owned bar in Ikuno was a favorite of hers when she wanted a change in scenery. It was small and cozy with friendly staff. Besides university students, mostly middle-aged men frequented here, but everyone seemed to mind their own business and leave her alone, as she preferred. 

Double doors closing behind her, she was met with the sounds of chatter from other patrons and classic rock playing from the sound system. The smell of alcohol was not overwhelming and someone definitely has hot wings. The dark oak counter was straight ahead, lined in front with at least a dozen matching stools with black leather on the seats, and shelves of alcohol bottles behind. Booths lined the side walls and high tables with stools were spread amongst the center.

She walked up to a part of the counter no one was occupying and waved to the bartender. A short middle-aged woman with dark hair, only slightly peppered with grey. She usually worked here when y/n visited, but she could never remember her name and felt too awkward to ask for it again.

“Hey sweetie! You haven’t been in here in awhile! I was wondering if I was gonna see you again,” the woman spoke cheerfully as she always does, “What can I get for you? Something fruity or thinking something different tonight?”

She smiled at the bartender. “You can’t get rid of me that easily,” she winked, “And I’m thinkin’.. strawberry vodka-Sprite.”

“Can do!” She leaned in closer with a grin, “Should I make that strong?”

She leaned in as well, grinning back, “Hmm.. Why not.”

“I’ll get right on it,” the bartender took off and got to work on the drink. She went ahead and grabbed money for the women, dropping it on the counter in front of her with a hand resting over it as she looked around the bar. Sometimes a friend or two would be here and she’d invite herself to their table, otherwise she usually just picked a stool at the counter and chatted with whoever was bartending that night.

“Here ya go, sweetie,” the woman placed a short glass in front of her and Y/n pushed the money towards her.

“Thank you,” she picked up the drink and hopped onto a stool, spinning her back to the counter as she sipped the drink; tending to be more comfortable with people watching than socializing with strangers. A table to the left was full of older gentlemen, two of them seemed to be arguing, and oh look, they have the hot wings. Some college girls were squealing over something nearby, colorful drinks on their table. She continued looking around the bar, idly sipping her vodka-Sprite, relaxing after a long day of work.

Eventually, a man’s voice caught her attention from the right corner of the bar. He has styled brown hair and seems pretty tall now that he’s standing in his booth, waving his hands around while yelling. Is he telling a story or fighting with the other guy at his table? The other guy growled something at him with a smack to one of his flailing hands.

Buzzing in her coat pocket grabbed her attention from the two. Lifting her phone she saw a text notification from a friend. Turning to face the counter once more and setting down her glass, she opened the text.

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “im so mad at him”

Mizuki’s never ending boy trouble it seems. Her taste in men usually didn’t end well for her; meaning she often had to console a sad or angry Mizuki. She brought her drink to her lips to sip at while she texted her friend.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’:  “is that so”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “im serious! we made plans and he ditched me”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “AGAIN!!”

Didn’t she just say the other night that she wasn’t seeing this guy anymore? Either way, her plans are ruined and she’s not happy. She’s probably looking for someone else to hang out with tonight and vent to.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “okay okay I’m sorry”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “are you home?”

Someone was now standing beside y/n ordering a drink. The sudden voice next to her had her glancing up by instinct. Only to immediately snap her head back to her phone, now leaning over the counter with it. Hair falling around her face.

It’s him.

Shit.

Well this wasn’t in the plan for tonight. So much for unwinding at the bar. She’s now fully winded and on edge.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “no I’m out. Sorry.”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “where?”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “in Ikuno”

Raising her head, she sees the man from outside the woods is no longer next to her. Phone buzzing once more as she takes a gulp of the vodka-Sprite.

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “ugh are you at that dive bar?”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “its nice here. You can join me if you want”

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “no thanks”

>> From 'My Best Bitch <3': “When will you be home?”

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “i just got here.”

The bartender appeared once more and offered a refill now that her glass was pretty much empty. She nodded and thanked her.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “what about blondie? I think he’s been dying to hang out”

Should she go see her? Probably. But Y/n’s on a spontaneous mission and her bestie was always up for a slumber party anyway, so he can help her vent and get all these negative emotions out. She looked over her shoulder to see if the man was nearby, only to catch his gaze from his spot at the table with the brunette man she determined to most likely be his friend. Neither of them are blinking and she mentally curses herself. Back to back buzzing broke her staring contest and she checked Mizuki’s messages.

>> From ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “yeah i guess he’s free.”

>> From 'My Best Bitch <3': “He’s coming to my place.”

>> From 'My Best Bitch <3': “If you get bored you know where to find us.”

The bartender handed over a new drink and she once again immediately paid for it.

What am I going to do about this? He’s staring too much to not know, right?

I could be overthinking this.

>> To ‘My Best Bitch <3’: “love you. Sorry your date was a dick.”

But it couldn’t hurt to keep an eye on him for now.

Once again looking over her shoulder, a new vodka-Sprite in hand, she gained some courage. Some. She could always abort the mission and was sure the nice lady behind the counter would save her if she came running. Hopping off her stool and walking toward the two men’s booth, the brunette looked her way and offered a smile.

“Hello, pretty lady,” the brunette’s smile turned smug, “What do we owe the pleasure?”

Once he spoke, the other man looked in her direction, looking a little surprised. “Hey..”

“Hey there,” looking between the men before she continued. What’s the plan here again? “Mind some extra company? I was chatting with the bartender, but she seems busy.”

“Of course! You seem harmless enough. I’m Oikawa Tooru,” he waved a hand towards the other man, “And this is Iwa-chan.”

“Iwaizumi,” Iwa-chan intercepted.

“Y/n. Are ya sure I’m not interrupting you two?”

She sat next to Iwaizumi after he shook his head, “Oikawa has been retelling a story I already know.”

Oikawa looked insulted, “I come to visit and you’re going to complain?!”

“Oh, you guys aren’t from around here?”

Plan decided. Well, half a plan. A mini plan until she figures things out later - but there needs to be a later. Find out where he lives or at least get his number in the case that he does actually know about the whole wolf thing, so she can find him if needed. Getting his number should be easy enough; if not Iwaizumi’s, then probably Oikawa’s. Because she is a pretty lady.

Thanks, Oikawa.

“Well, no, weren’t not, but he doesn’t even live in Japan anymore,” Iwaizumi pointed to his friend.

So maybe Oikawa is out.

“We grew up together in Miyagi,” Oikawa chimed in, “but I moved away to become an amazing setter in Argentina! He moved chasing dreams too.” He winked at Iwaizumi, who completely ignored it.

“You’ve always been an amazing setter,” Iwaizumi brought his beer to his lips.

“So you live in Japan still?” She asked, swirling the straw around in her drink.

He didn’t have the chance to answer before Oikawa answered for him, “Yup! But enough of that. What brings you to this place? There’s so many nicer bars and clubs in Osaka.”

“I found this place back in college. There are lots of options here, but this place is one of my favorites.”

He shot a disgusted look, “Why?”

Iwaizumi flicked a balled up straw wrapper at him, “There’s nothing wrong with this place!”

“Hate to make myself sound like an alcoholic, I swear I’m not, but I’ve never seen ya here before and I feel like I would have recognized you two if I had.” She played with a piece of hair near her face. Oikawa mouthed ‘oh’ and wiggled an eyebrow. To be fair, as pretty as he is she would have recognized him if she had seen him before.

“Funny, I think I’ve seen you around,” Iwaizumi returned his attention to his drink momentarily. Meanwhile, Oikawa was looking between the two across from him, straw between his lips.

Quietly sipping her own drink, she tried to think of some sort of reply to pick at that comment. He could have seen her here, but what if he’s referring to the parking lot outside the forest? Oikawa interrupted her thoughts before she could gather anything useful.

“So you live around here then?” She went wide eyed for a second and he immediately waved his hands in front of himself apologetically, “It sounds like you’re here enough if this is a favorite. I just figured-“

She cut him off with a chuckle. “You’re fine! And you could say I live in the area, yeah..,” she glanced at Iwaizumi, “Is it safe to guess you’re in Osaka too?”

He hesitated, “Yeah. Not too far from here.”

Good good.

“So Y/n, where are you from,” Oikawa pushed his now empty glass to the side, “Or have you always been in Osaka?”

“Ah, no. I moved here for college and stayed after graduating. I grew up in Hyogo actually,” she giggled, “Guess we all moved from home, huh? Though I didn't move as far as either of you.”

“Excuse me,” Y/n let Iwaizumi out of the booth then scoot back to take his spot. He grabbed his glass and Oikawa’s, “I’ll grab us new drinks.”

He looked at her asking if she needed anything to which she shook her head, then he took off with the empty glasses.

“So you both moved here for careers then,” Oikawa nodded towards Iwaizumi who was already halfway to the counter.

“That so?” She blinked at the fuzziness in her head. Miss bartender did indeed make her drinks stronger today. Should probably call it quits after this one if she hoped to sober up by the end of the night.

“After college he moved here to be closer to- Well, he was in Tokyo then here. But anyway, he’s an athletic trainer for the pro volleyball teams here,” Oikawa leaned in as he spoke. “Though it's too bad he won’t come to Argentina to work with my team! I do miss him.”

She gave a sincere smile, “Do you get to see him very often? That’s so far away..”

Oikawa’s grin dropped and spoke somberly, “I usually fly back home a couple times a year, and every time I come to see him.. We do talk on the phone a lot though.”

“Here,” Iwaizumi set a new cocktail in front of Oikawa, but that was the only drink he had in hand, “You weren’t talking shit about me while I was gone, were you?”

“You didn’t get yourself anything!” Oikawa complained, then went right to sipping on his straw as his friend slipped into the booth next to her.

“I’m fine for now. Maybe later.”

“Fine, Iwa-chan,” he settled back down, “Oh! It sounds like Y/n has been in Osaka longer than you. Maybe she can tell you all the fun stuff around, so you can do something other than hang with the guys and go to bars.”

Iwaizumi looked less than pleased by that statement.

She snorted, “Well, it sounds to me like we have similar hobbies. I probably don’t know anything you don’t know.”

“Really,” Iwaizumi eyed her expectantly.

“Well.. If you get tired of the lack of grass around.. Most of the area is concrete, but there’s a few tiny parks in the suburbs, and I think one downtown, or near there at least. ”

He looked at her emotionless, “Yeah? I don’t remember coming across any of those. But I have found the large forest east of here. It’s not terribly far.”

Right..

By now she was finishing off her own drink. Oikawa was going on about something that she’s pretty sure is volleyball related. Watching the men bicker, she not-so-carefully sat the glass in front of her before placing her hands on her thighs.

Iwaizumi broke his attention from Oikawa at the sound of glass clicking against wood and looked at her glass then her. “Sure you don’t want anything?”

“I’m hoping to not leave my car here tonight.” She grabbed her phone to check that Mizuki hadn’t messaged her. With the lack of notifications she figured that meant she was happy now.

>> To ‘Blondie’: “you are with Mizuki right?”

“Oh! You drive?” The bottom of Oikawa's glass hit the table hard out of excitement. Hopefully he didn’t drive here too. “What do you drive?” He’s excitable and full of questions, that’s for sure. Isn't she supposed to be the one asking all these questions?

“I do.. I have a Civic.” Playing with the straw and leftover ice in her empty cup.

>> From ‘Blondie’: “ur just now checkin???”

>> From 'Blondie': “I’m the better friend of course i showed up”

Ouch.

>> To ‘Blondie’: “i figured i just checkin”

Slumping back in the booth she was once again watching the boys talk. Oikawa is really animated.

“Are you texting your partner?” Oikawa winked, “Oh! Let me give you my number!” And he nearly knocked over his drink trying to slide his phone to her. Iwaizumi let out a string of curses as he kept the glass from falling and moved it out of the way.

Laughing, she took his phone and entered her number, going ahead and putting ‘Y/n-chan’ as the contact before sliding the phone back. “You didn’t drive here, did you?”

“Iwa-chan! Give her your phone!”

He sighed and grabbed his phone, opening the contact app before handing it to her. “He did not. We Ubered here.”

She put her number in his phone too, being sure to text herself with his phone so she would have his before handing it back.

Phone number down.

Oikawa tapped around on his phone and chugged the rest of his cocktail. A buzz from her phone followed.

>> From ‘unknown’: “seroius do u have a lover??”

She managed to half contain a laugh and save his number under ‘Oi-chan’.

“Welp! I’m going to get going. My Uber is here,” Oikawa pulled himself to his feet and smacked a hand on the table in front of Iwaizumi, “I’m going back to the hotel. Go on and keep the pretty lady company, Iwa-chan.” He kissed Iwaizumi’s head which earned him a slap followed by a friendly goodbye and promise of seeing him tomorrow. Then he gave Y/n a big smile before heading away.

Thanks, Oikawa.

Turning to Iwaizumi with a grin, “Yer friend is entertaining.”

“Yeah.. He’s a really good person and friend.”

She offered a soft smile.

“Not to rush or anything,” he started, “but is there a particular time you’re trying to get out of here by?”

“No no,” she straightened, “I had no real plans for tonight other than to chill here.”

And added, “Also didn’t plan on the bartender treating me with stronger drinks than usual either. So.. I gotta sober up before I can leave.. You were smart with the Uber.”

He chuckled, “Maybe remember that for next time.”

“Yeah yeah..”

The two chatted for a good hour, maybe longer. Iwaizumi told old stories from high school of his best friend, as well as what he was doing in Argentina now. He also spoke briefly about the volleyball teams he’s worked with as an athletic trainer. Apparently he moved to Ikuno to be closer to the team in Higashiosaka that he’s been working with the most.

Sitting there she caught the bright street lights outside the windows of the bar, though not too bright with the bar’s tinted windows. She remembered how nice it was out tonight. It would be a good night for stargazing, but with all of the lights in town it would be hard to see any stars. The best place for stargazing here is the forest..

But there is a public park north of the forest. Far from where she runs. It’s probably closed after dark, but all parks were and that never stopped her from sneaking into the forest. Though, the forest itself didn’t have open hours. Pretty sure.

Still looking out the window she started, “Hey.. The sky is really clear tonight.”

Iwaizumi glanced at her. She continued looking outside, “Obviously you can’t see stars anywhere near here.. But north of the forest pass Higashi’ there’s a park with a large clearing that would be perfect.”

He gave her an incredulous look, “You’re not saying you want to go on what, probably an hour drive to look at stars? Are you even good to drive yet?”

Humming she decided she was set on it. Plus maybe from there he’d let her drive him home. Then she'd be two for two - mini mission achieved. “..Can you drive a manual?”

Part 4 >>

[crazyaboutto]

Someone might have done this before, I didn’t check the tags thoroughly but whatever.

I only know Mephisto from a few places so I wasn’t very knowledgeable about him and decided to do research. I plan to do this for Agnes/Agatha Harkness and House of M. Feel free to DM me to talk about WandaVision theories.

Source: Marvel Wikia

What I’ll be talking about?

1. Who is Mephisto?

2. What are his powers?

3. What is his relationship to the characters in WandaVision in comics?

4. WandaVision Theory

The first 3 parts will be taken from Marvel Wikia and summarized.

1. Who is Mephisto?

Mephisto has many aliases such as The Devil, Satan and Lucifer. He is an extradimentional demon. He calls his realm “Hell” in order to exploit Earth human beings' belief in a single being of absolute evil. He is not the actual Satan but he allows himself to be called names that human beings give to their conceptions of devils. Mephisto is continually seeking to add more spirits of sentient beings to his realm by inducing living sentient beings to submit their wills to his. Mephisto apparently seeks primarily to enslave all human souls.

2. What are his powers?

Mephisto is an experienced and highly skilled liar and strategist. He is also a highly skilled sorcerer with near infinite knowledge of arcane and occult subjects.

His powers:

Superhuman Strength, Superhuman Speed, Superhuman Stamina, Superhuman Durability, Regenerative Healing Factor, Immortality, Penance Stare immunity, Medium Awareness, Netherworld Dimensional Power Tap.

§ Shapeshifting:Mephisto is more of a force than a physical being, one that can take any form that he wants. His "normal" appearance is that of male, red skinned humanoid with vampiric aspect and attire. However, Mephisto can appear in any form imaginable, having turning himself into animals, humans of any gender, or more commonly into other demonic forms, ranging from a stereotypical image of Satan to a giant reptilian monster.

§Mystical Deal:Through a Faustian bargain, Mephisto is able to fulfill almost any wish that someone wants in exchange for something that they have - usually their souls. Once the agreement is sealed, it is virtually impossible for the victim to escape compliance.

§ Ensnare Astral Bodies:Mephisto also possesses certain powers enabling him to capture and detain the astral bodies (sheaths of the soul) of recently deceased human beings. Mephisto does not have jurisdiction over all the souls of humanity's recently deceased. It is not yet known what the prerequisite conditions are for him to be able to manipulate a human soul, nor are the precise means by which he accomplishes the feat known. Apparently these conditions require that the human being in question willingly agree to submit to Mephisto's will. It is not known how a human being may free himself from bondage to Mephisto, nor whether Mephisto will forever retain control of the souls he has obtained. Nor is it known whether or not Mephisto "feeds" on the psychic energies of such souls as other demons do.

§Dimensional Entrapment:Apparently Mephisto can entrap a living human being within his realm through sheer physical force, even if the person did not submit his or her will to him.

§Reality Manipulation:Mephisto was able to create the realities Earth-7161 and Earth-71241 by creating a small alteration in the Earth-616 reality.

§Magical Manipulation:He can control magical energy for various effects, among which are the augmentation of his own physical strength, levitation, teleportation, the projection of mystical energy as force blasts, invisibility, matter manipulation, image projection, size transformation of his body or other objects or beings, the creation of temporary inter-dimensional apertures, and so on.

3. What is his relationship to the characters in WandaVision in comics?

Tommy and Billy Maximoff: Mephisto's soul was used by Wanda to give birth to the twins.Mephisto reabsorbed them, effectively ending their existence.

Wanda Maximoff: Mephisto absorbing the twins’ souls drove Wanda mad, resulting in her altering all reality.

Agatha Harkness: Agatha claimed that Scarlet Witch's children were actually fragments of the soul of Mephisto and wiped Wanda's memory of her children rather than fight to free the two from Mephisto when he reabsorbed the twins.

4. WandaVision Theory

So far: We have 6 episodes. The storyline gives off House of M vibes. Agnes seems to be Agatha Harkness from the comics which I’ll be talking about in another post. Dottie who is the key to the town only appeared in episodes 2 & 3 of the show. Director Tyler Hayward is pushing Wanda to defend herself.

THEORY:

Everything up to Wanda’s pregnancy was pushing Wanda to think about children despite no children was seen until episode 6. The whole talent show was “for the children” despite no children being present. Dottie was in charge of the talent show for the children. When Dottie was giving a speech about the talent show, she said “The Devil is the details” and Agnes said “It’s not the only place where he is”. She again said “For the children” during that speech.

Director Hayward first appeared in episode 4 and all he did was to antagonize Wanda. He is outside and he is giving Wanda every reason to stay inside The Hex. He is also painting her as the villain, trying to make others see her as the villain as well. He knew that Wanda would have deflected the bomb he sent into The Hex and that it would just anger her, making her less cooperative. He is also psychologically pressuring Wanda. You might say “He is the regular asshole” but what if he isn’t?

As mentioned in Powers, Mephisto can shapeshift into any form imaginable. Remember that on the people and their real life ID board, we didn’t see Dottie. What if Mephisto took the shape of a former soul he collected? That soul can be old and hence that is why Dottie wouldn’t be identified. The other minor characters were identified and they were shown. If Dottie was also identified then we would have seen her on the board too. Even if she is identified, there is no guarantee that Mephisto wouldn’t take her form. Dottie was the one who organized the event “for the children”, giving subtle message to Wanda for creating her own children. She even said “The Devil is the details” which is normal to say normally but not when the fans theorized Mephisto involvement after it was announced. Agnes, who is likely to be Agatha Harkness who mentored Wanda, said “It’s not the only place where he is”. I believe she, as an ancient being, knows about Mephisto and she subconsciously warned Wanda then. After what Wanda is supposed to do is done, Dottie doesn’t become a main character. Maybe that is the real Dottie in episode 5. Mephisto is done with her after Wanda got pregnant. After that, I think he started to impersonate Director Hayward. As mentioned above, everything Hayward did made Wanda to be more unstable and to want to stay in The Hex. I think Mephisto would want that and he is a perfect strategist. Maybe he didn’t shapeshift into those people but maybe they had a deal with him and he manipulated them into doing his bidding (See:Powers). Additionally, everything that happens inside The Hex makes Wanda stay inside.

In episode 6, Pietro calls “demon spawns” to Tommy and Billy. This isn’t even subtle. I think it is either subconscious warning that Wanda told herself via Pietro. Or it could be Pietro himself since he died once and maybe has knowledge that isn’t aware. Or it can be Mephisto being a little shit. He might have gotten Pietro’s soul when he died. In Powers, it is said that the conditions for him to entrap a recently deceased soul is unknown. He might have gotten Pietro’s soul when he died and now he is using Pietro to manipulate Wanda.

As mentioned in Powers, Mephisto can manipulate magic and reality. I think that is how Westview is affected. The reality inside The Hex is ever changing.

In episode 5, Norm played the pronoun game “Stop her” instead of saying “Stop Wanda”. It wouldn’t make a difference for Vision since he already thinks “she” is “Wanda”. What if that “she” is actually “Dottie”? Norm didn’t say her name because he doesn’t know it. He only knows she is the one doing him harm. This might be the other clue is that Dottie is indeed Mephisto himself.

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Jockey For Position

Now that we’re done with that long cameo, it’s time for our feature presentation for tonight, and it’s a doozy!:

We open with Pinky frantically running on a spinning globe while Brain stands above him on the…globe holder? I don’t know if that part has a name or not.

“[winded gasps] Can I stop now, Brain?”

“Not until I finish my demonstration.”

Brain, that’s just… Well I was about to say it was mean, but given that Pinky understands the details of his plans better when Brain demonstrates it or draws elaborate diagrams, maybe it’s for the best? I doubt Brain could make that large globe spin just by using his hands, and Pinky’s been seen a lot of times running on the mouse wheel in their cage so he’s gotta be pretty in shape. Still, it feels like Pinky’s been running for a lot longer than he needed to…

You know what? I change my mind. It is a bit mean, Brain.

“When I build my reverse geotropic arrestor, Pinky, and throw it from the North Pole like this…”

The word “geotropic” doesn’t quite sound right. I wonder…

…Okay, yeah, Brain’s getting worse at naming things.

“…In a matter of seconds the cable will become taut, gravity will cease, and everyone will fly off the face of the Earth!”

Oh my GOD, Brain. This has got to be the stupidest plan you have come up with yet! Nothing about this will work.

Well, there goes poor Pinky.

“Leaving us alone to assume control.”

It’s still “us”, huh? Noted.

Long Pinky.

“Egad, Brain, brilliant! Haha hehe heh—!”

Pinky, sweetheart, I know praising Brain is kind of your thing but this is one time I’m going to have to call you out on your bias because this is super not brilliant and I’m actually a little worried for Brain’s mental state.

“—Oh wait, no, no. What’s going to keep us from flying off the Earth?”

That’s one flaw of many, Pinky, but I guess it’s as good a start as any.

“We will duct tape ourselves to a tree.”

Because the tree will totally stay in the ground when the Earth abruptly stops spinning. Not that it will stop spinning, because none of this makes any sense.

Brain, did this idea come from, like, a dream you had or something? Is that why the plan is working on dream logic?

I know this is a comedy cartoon and this is all a joke but sometimes Brain’s plans are so fucking out-there I just have to roast him for it.

“Unfortunately we still need to raise money to buy a one billion ton magnet. But I have a solution!”

Oh boy, can’t wait to hear the solution to this one. It’s gonna be stellar if the whole plan today is anything to go by.

Oh nice, Brain’s the one sewing for a change! Usually this is Pinky’s area of expertise, but it’s always nice to see that Brain can do some classically domestic things too.

“Tomorrow is the running of the Kentucky Derby. Do you know what that is?”

Most of my knowledge on it comes from “My Brother, My Brother, and Me” goofs, so my mind keeps autocorrecting it to “Kenfucky Derby”, but go on.

“Umm… Oh! A very large hat?”

“Promise me something, Pinky. Never breed.”

“I’ll try.”

Well, that’s going to come back to haunt them.

“The Kentucky Derby is the biggest horse race of the year. There’s a one million dollar purse going to the jockey riding the winning horse.”

“And I am going to win that purse!”

Okay, first off: Pinky, are you just going to stand there and stare at Brain as he gets changed? Like, I understand they’re naked normally and this is the exact opposite of stripping but umm…

Secondly: Brain, did you really have to get that up close to tell Pinky this? You two are making this too easy for me.

“Zort, Brain! A million dollar purse?!? Ooooh!~ You’re going to need matching pumps and earrings for that!”

Pinky’s got his priorities in order.

“Focus, Pinky, focus!”

“Now watch.”

And now Brain’s ordering Pinky to watch him dress and I just…I have no words. This is all so suspect. Why do you two even need a dressing screen if you’re usually naked anyway? And it shouldn’t matter if anyone sees you get dressed unless this is some weird reverse nudity taboo you two have developed and if that’s the case, why are you allowing Pinky to watch? And if it’s for a dramatic reveal WHY ARE YOU ORDERING HIM TO WATCH YOU CHANGE???

This episode is already so goddamn wild.

I am really not sure how I feel about that pan-up of Brain when he’s thrust his pelvis forward. At least the outfit is cute, though.

“Narf! Oh, Brain, I get it! You’re a beautiful lawn ornament!”

“Beautiful”, huh? Also noted.

“Look at me, narf, I’m a pink flamingo! Ahahaheh!”

Oh LORD, Pinky, how are you—?!?

“I’m a cement deer! Ah hah!”

PINKY, STOP, YOU’RE SCARING ME! D:

“Oh, I’m one of the seven dwarves, Brain!”

That’s more acceptable but Pinky, sweetie, warn me if you’re going to nightmarishly shapeshift again, okay?!

I guess we can add that to the list of random abilities Pinky has.

“Stop it, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.”

You are much calmer about this than I would be if this happened in front of me, Brain.

“Oh. Right-o, Brain. Narf.”

“Now let us make haste, for we have much to do before the race begins.”

“Poit.”

So then we cut to Churchill Downs, and I can only assume another roadtrip adventure was had off-screen.

“First, Pinky, we must visit the stables.”

“Inside, we will find the winning horse.”

“Err… How are we gonna do that, Brain?”

“The racing form, Pinky.”

My bet’s on... [squints] hLUUNO the horse.

“By analysing the velocity-based pace line, mile turf win and bayer speed figures, we’ll find a grade one stakes claimer who’ll give us a key horse situation.”

“Key Horse Situation” would be a great band name. Also, whoops, little bit of an error on the name plaques, background artists.

What do your mouse eyes see, Pinky?

“Err, can’t we just ride the pretty one?”

SHE!

So here she is, one of the few characters debuting in the Animaniacs run that will matter to PatB lore going forward aside from our main duo.

A fun fact for you all: Phar Fignewton’s name is a triple reference joke. “Phar Lap” was a champion thoroughbred race horse in the late 1920s and early 1930s. Fig Newtons are small pastries filled with fig paste. Lastly, “Fahrvergnügen” was a slogan for Volkswagon starting in 1990. Translated, it means “driving enjoyment”.

Phar Fignewton makes a whinnying noise and ends it off with a goofy laugh.

Brain is not impressed.

“Heavens, they’re multiplying…”

Pinky is instantly smitten with her.

BONK!

“This is a business trip, Pinky!”

“Oh. Right. Sorry, Brain.”

“Here is our horse.”

“’Daddy’s Little Angel’…”

I guess it’s an ironic nickname.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Whu… I think so, Brain, isn’t Regis Philbin already married?”

…

Now I’m wondering if Pinky is suggesting that one of them marry Regis or if he’s suggesting that Regis marries the horse. Either way, what the fuck?

Yeah, same.

“The race, Pinky. By combining the statistics and my low body weight, this horse cannot lose! The prize money will be ours!”

GAH! Brain, I’ve had enough minor heart attacks from this episode because of Pinky’s eldritch morphing ability, I don’t need another one of your bizarre close-ups to do the same!

“Now I must take the place of the real jockey.”

“Hello?”

“Is this the Jockey who’s going to ride ‘Daddy’s Little Angel’?”

“Yeah.”

“This is Ed Mcmahon from Publisher’s Smearing House. You’ve just won ten million dollars.”

Pinky delightedly and silently listening in and chuckling in the back is precious.

And honestly, Brain, I don’t know why you’re crouching here, but it’s also cute.

“I won ten million dollars… I WON TEN MILLION DOLLARS! I am outta here! Later!”

The mice are lucky that he’s so excited about winning all that money that he forgets to do basic things like ask when and how he’ll get the money.

“Louie! Louie!”

“Later!”

“Who’s gonna ride my horse? I mean, Louie is the smallest, lightest jockey in the entire world!”

Did you know that there’s a weight requirement for jockeys, but no height requirement?

“Not anymore!”

“[GASP]”

Whoops, I just noticed another error, though it’s minor: Brain’s jockey outfit throughout this scene is light tan and purple instead of the pea green and purple that it’s supposed to be.

“You’re a jockey?!”

“Actually, I am a mouse in the early stages of an elaborate scheme to take over the world.”

The more this happens, the more I’m starting to think that Brain does this shtick on purpose to emotionally and mentally disarm people who would otherwise suspect that he’s not human. The fact that it works shows you just how idiotic the human beings of this world are.

“Well, fine, we all need a hobby but…will you ride my horse?”

Oh, sir, I think it’s much more than a hobby at this point. If only you knew…

“I shall ride! And win!”

His design is a little odd here, but it’s still a good pose.

So Brain next has to be weighed to make sure he meets the requirements.

“Saddle: Seven pounds. Saddle and rider: Seven pounds 3 ounces.”

So if you can recall from the previous rewatch post, a house mouse on average weighs 19g, and a common wood mouse weighs 23g (it can be up for debate which type of mouse Brain is).  Converting Brain’s 3 ounces of weight to grams would result in him weighing 85.0486g.

Brain does have a bit of a cute little potbelly thing going on, but he’s also consistently much smaller in height and width than the average adult mouse in the series. I think the incredible difference in weight is mostly coming from the heft of Brain’s, well, brain and skull…and the muscle mass packed into that tiny body to help keep him upright.

“A genetically perfect jockey! This is fantastic!”

Please don’t phrase it like that.

“…Let’s look into early retirement.”

That jockey on the left is going through some shit, man. He looks like how I feel after working an eight hour shift on the holidays.

And so we skip to the beginning of the race!

That poor, poor jockey…who changed colour schemes for some reason.

There’s Phar Fignewton with a jockey who honestly looks like he’s high.

And here’s our little mousey fella, who has somehow managed to make this aggressive horse obedient.

“Camptown race is five miles long, do-dah, do-dah.~”

He’s so happy he’s singing to himself! This is honestly so precious that I completely forgive him for not getting the lyrics correct.

Coincidentally, Daddy’s Little Angel is positioned next to Phar Fignewton.

“Ooh, isn’t this exciting, Brain?”

Uh oh.

“Pinky, what are you doing here? Your weight will disrupt my winning calculations!”

I don’t know if it’d be that off, Brain. The combined weight of two mice is still much less than that of a human jockey.

“But Brain, it’s too exciting! I—“

[TARGET LOCKED]

“Oooh! Heh. Hello.~”

I think I’m going to save my thoughts on this whole…thing until the end. Right now I will say, however, that I wasn’t quite expecting the tongue-hanging-out-of-gaping-mouth lovestruck/horny??? reaction.

“Pinky, the race is starting!”

Too late, Brain.

And we’re off!

Bye, Pinky.

“There’s baloney in our slacks…~”

Pfft.

So as the race goes on, we get to know a few more of the horses’ names: Isle of Yap (a nice callback to the first PatB short), Flamiel (which is apparently the WB writers’ favourite word?), and Leggo-my-Egoiste (a double reference to an old Eggo slogan and the name of a cologne).

The other jockeys are more than a little surprised by Brain and his steed taking the lead early in the race.

Phar Fignewton is trailing way behind.

Meanwhile, Pinky’s woken up from fainting, seeing the oncoming horses—

--and promptly freaks out and stumbles back down again.

“Victory, she waits for me! Oh, the do-dah-day!”

You really have to stop tempting fate like this, Brain.

Phar Fignewton’s very tired, but what’s this?

Is that…Pinky in harm’s way?

ThePowerOfLove.mp3

Determined and fueled by her inexplicable crush, Phar Fignewton starts gaining ground on the other horses.

Brain didn’t calculate for this!

…Oh! Hi, Warners! Looks like they’re cheering Phar on.

“Oh no! Yah! Yah! Yah!”

I didn’t think whips were allowed in races like the Kentucky Derby, but apparently they are. Their use was only restricted—not banned—in the summer of 2020, which is alarming to say the least.

On a different note, I know some of you folks are now jotting down the fact that Brain knows how to use a whip. I see you.

She makes the save!

And she also wins the race! Way to go, Phar Fignewton!

“In the words of the great Willie Shoemaker: ‘Nuts!’”

It was a good try, Brain, but honestly I’m glad you failed this time if only so that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself with your actual world domination plan’s failure later. Maybe take a couple nights off to rest up a bit and formulate plans that aren’t totally bonkers, hmm?

I might as well go ahead and talk about this now. I…am conflicted on this whole Phar Fignewton thing. It makes for a very strange one-off joke about Pinky instantly falling in love with a distaff counterpart of his that’s a horse for whatever reason…but the fact that she’s not a one-off character is baffling in and of itself. Like I’ve said before, she’s mentioned a couple of times going forward as being Pinky’s girlfriend, or as a bizarre joke at Pinky’s expense about him being in/having been in a relationship with a horse. There’s even a small running gag about Pinky’s reaction to people’s disgust about it: “People can be so intolerant!”. I don’t know if the joke is supposed to be one about racial segregation or a wink and nod to queer folks in the only way that the writers could get away with in a cartoon at the time (in a “see, Pinky’s down for a relationship with anyone, even outside of his species!” type of way).

Phar Fignewton herself is a sweetie but besides that she has no personality to speak of and we’re just meant to assume based on physical appearance that she is equivalent to Pinky. And like, she hasn’t been uplifted to human levels of intelligence and sapience like Pinky has because of Acme Labs, but she seems to be naturally sapient for some unknown reason and just simply unable to speak English.

On top of all this, the relationship is very shallow and the only reason we’re given as to why Pinky likes her is because he finds her pretty. It’s perfectly in character for Pinky to easily fall in love, as he does so with other animals a couple more times in the spin-offs, but it just feels weird that this is the one that sticks around purely to become a running gag that gets mentions that are sometimes literal years apart from one another.

And listen, I know the writers most likely made this a thing just because they thought it was a funny joke and a few of them managed to remember about Phar and would use Pinky dating her as a gag. I know this. But it doesn’t make it any less confusing and weird. I remember the jokes about Pinky and horses from way back when I first watched Animaniacs and the PatB spin-off when I was a kid and I never had any context for it because I don’t think I ever saw this specific episode. Coming back as an adult and seeing all these episodes in order and watching this one in particular and finding out the context is “Pinky thinks a horse is pretty and the horse and him are in love and long-distance dating now” is both underwhelming and leaves me with more questions than answers.

…Also, if my earlier theories on why the writers made this joke are correct, does this mean Phar Fignewton is metatextually a beard for Pinky?

I just don’t know, folks. You’re welcome to leave your thoughts on this in comments.

Let’s wrap this up.

So as we can see, Brain is, as usual, back to work on another plan that involves—

—a goddamn cannon, holy shit! What is he using the glue for? That’s a little ominous, given what’s been involved in this episode.

There’s a hammering noise in the background and we see Pinky putting up a photo of Phar Fignewton.

“Pinky, will you please stop that? I’m trying to concentrate on tomorrow night!”

Wow, you’re more irritable than usual, Brain. I didn’t think some delicate hammering would annoy you that much.

“Mwah!~”

…Despite my ramblings earlier, that’s very cute of you, Pinky. I’m sure you could’ve gotten a better photo, though.

“Why, Brain, what’re we gonna do tomorrow night?”

Try to take over the world, of course! Right, Brain?

“Guess.”

…

Umm, wow. That’s a first. You look like you’re absolutely enraged, Brain. All this over some hammering sounds?

This had me taken aback a bit when I watched it the first time, not gonna lie. We’ve seen Brain after a plan’s failure plenty of times before. He’s been frustrated, sure. Humiliated at times, or maybe he just sighs in resignation and walks off into the sunset. It always ends with him simply using these feelings to fuel the fire in him to do better tomorrow night.

This is the very first time we’ve seen him jumpy and irritated at the most minor of things and so angry that he literally refuses to participate normally in his and Pinky’s shared catchphrase. And this was for a plan that was just to fund the real plan! So why is this time any different?

Oh.

OH.

Okay, that’s… That makes a lot of sense, actually. Damn.

Hey, fanfic writers? Ya’ll ever use this as the very first time Brain experiences romantic jealousy? Let me know.

“Oh yeah, try to take over the world. Right.”

I think even Pinky’s put off by this development, if his hesitant and quiet finishing of the saying is anything to go by.

And that’s what we end off with.

All in all, this episode is a wild ride of strangeness in small moments and bizarre additions to lore and ends on the first subversion of the long-running closing gag of the series. It’s not exactly a great episode, but that ending is intriguing enough for one of the main purposes of this rewatch. In short, I’m just baffled.

Luckily the next episode is much better. Next time, the mice head on down to Tennessee to seek world domination via country music.

See you then!

[lakesandquarries]

Baby Shoes - Chapter 2

Bubby has been a doctor at Black Mesa for 20 years, living there for 50. He’s been bouncing around from project to project, working on whatever needs most help. He doesn’t have any opinions on his work or his coworkers or anything like that, preferring to keep to himself.

Then he meets Black Mesa’s newest project.

AKA: Bubby is Benrey’s dad au.

title from “Baby Shoes” by Bad Books.

AO3 Link

He stays away from the Biological Research department for three whole days before curiosity gets the best of him. Work is the only thing that’s a suitable distraction, and his current work is frustratingly easy. He’s supposed to be moved around departments, placed on whatever project is most difficult, but currently he’s just helping design a new line of robotic limbs. It’s almost an insult, frankly.

He tests the springs on the arm one last time, determines that there’s nothing more he can do today, and leaves.

The trip to Biological Research is a short one, but once he’s there he’s reminded of how confusing it is. The scientists seem less frazzled today, at least. He winds up in a hall filled with desks, some kind of office space perhaps? Most of them are empty or occupied by very stressed looking scientists, but he spots one young man with blond hair sitting at a desk playing with a slinky, and makes his way over.

“Excuse me,” Bubby says, clearing his throat. The young man straightens up, accidentally launching his slinky across the room.

“Oh, shit,” he mumbles as it narrowly avoids hitting someone.

“You might wanna pick that up before someone trips on it. Or, don’t, it’ll be good entertainment.”

The man snorts as he stands up, grabbing his slinky and dusting it off. “Maybe. Not worth risking my job if the wrong person slips.” He holds his hand out to Bubby. “Dr. Dekkard.”

Bubby shakes it warily. “Dr. Bubby.” Dekkard’s eyes widen, and his grip tightens.

“Oh, shit! You’re the -”

“Ultimate Lifeform, yes.” He smiles at Dekkard, showing off his slightly sharper than average teeth.

“Damn, what - what are you doing here? I was told you were working in the Robotics Department.” He releases Bubby’s hand, shoving his own into the pocket of his lab coat, the other still fiddling with the slinky.

“I am. I get curious.”

“I dunno, most of the sh - uh, stuff here is pretty boring.”

“You can swear, Dr. Dekkard. We’re all adults here.” Probably. Dekkard has the look of someone too young to be working at Black Mesa, still innocent and excited about the possibilities of science. The spark in his eyes will be gone soon enough. “I had...an encounter here, the other day. There was a subject that escaped, apparently?”

Dekkard nods. “Yeah, XEN-3. Don’t know much about it - some kinda shapeshifting alien? It’s supposed to be really dangerous, though. Bit a scientist a while back and nearly killed the guy.” He shrugs, taking his hand out of his pocket so he can move the slinky between both hands. “I only started here a month ago, I don’t know much about it. It keeps trying to escape though, the guys in charge are pretty pissed.”

Bubby purses his lips, thinking. “Maybe they need a new perspective. A better perspective. Who’s in charge?”

“Dr. Zeki. She’s - I think she’s free right now? I can show you where her office is.”

“Yes, please do.” Bubby straightens his lab coat. Dekkard drops the slinky on his desk before leading Bubby down one of the many identical corridors. They stop after reaching a door with a plaque attached to it.

Dr. Amelia Zeki, Head of Biological Research.

Dekkard knocks on the door. “Dr. Zeki? I’ve got someone who wants to see you.”

There’s a sigh on the other side. “Send them in.”

“Alright, well. Good luck. Uh, nice meeting you. I’ll see you around?”

“Maybe,” Bubby says. He hopes he doesn’t. He hopes Dekkard quits within the next 20 minutes and finds somewhere else to work that isn’t this shit hole.

He opens the door to Zeki’s office.

Behind the desk, looking over a stack of papers, is the same woman he saw the other day. The one who shot Benrey in front of him. This is the same person in charge of their well being?

“Well?” Zeki asks, looking up at him. “I assume there’s a reason you’re here, but I’m busy. I don’t have time to wait for you to say something.”

“I had a few questions. About the - the subject I encountered the other day.”

“XEN-3?” She puts the papers down. “Did it bite you or something? If so, you’re gonna need antibiotics immediately, it -”

“It didn’t hurt me,” Bubby says sharply. “I only encountered it briefly, but it seemed perfectly docile.”

“You’d better hope you don’t encounter it again, then, because I doubt you’ll get that lucky twice.”

“That’s what I came here to ask about, actually. I’m - well, the current project I’m working on is far below my usual standard. I’m hoping to find something more...challenging.”

Zeki raises an eyebrow. “And you want to deal with the violent shapeshifting alien?”

“It’s certainly a challenge, isn’t it?”

She looks back at her papers, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “We have it pretty heavily restrained at the moment, and it would be nice to have someone who can interact with it without getting attacked.” She pushes her chair back from the table and stands up. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. Fine. You can come see it.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.”

How does anyone find their way around this place? The hall Zeki takes Bubby down is identical to every other god damn hallway in this shitty department. She leads him into a room with a large glass partition, separating the subject from the scientists. One-way glass, he assumes. Bubby steps forward to get a better look, and his blood goes cold.

There’s no cage like he’d seen a few days ago. This is an entirely new enclosure, a different room than before.

It’s worse. They replaced the cage with heavy chains and shackles. The presumably cold metal clamped around Benrey's wrists, ankles, waist, with even their tiny neck being held by the restraints They’re flopped over, the chains the only thing keeping them upright, and their eyes are open but vacant.

“Are - are they alive? ”

Zeki nods. “Thing won’t stay dead. No matter what we throw at it, it just heals itself. Total reset.”

“I -” he wants to strangle her. He thinks back to just a few days ago, Benrey clinging to his shirt, impossibly grateful for the simple gift of a name.

“It’s not sentient,” Zeki says. “It just imitates what it sees. It’s not like you , Dr. Bubby.”

But it is. It’s exactly like him. He remembers days spent floating listlessly in his tube, wishing for something, anything to happen. Even some kind of experiment, because at least then he wouldn’t be alone. Days spent slamming against the glass in a feeble attempt to break it.

He swallows down the words he wants to say. “If they’re a shapeshifter, how are chains supposed to keep it in place?” Bubby asks, stepping away from the glass and forcing himself to look away.

“It’s not impossible, but it’s harder. We keep the cuffs tight so it can’t expand without hurting itself, and getting smaller seems to be more difficult somehow. It’s only a temporary solution, though. We’ve been hoping to study the shapeshifting better, but it’s tricky.”

“I understand you also have an...escaping problem.”

She clenches her jaw, muscles in her neck twitching. “Only a few times.”

“Over how long?”

“Five. Five times in three months.”

“Hm.” Bubby steps forward, touching a hand to the glass, then walks a slow circle around the room. “There might be a better way to prevent it from escaping.”

Zeki sighs, rubbing her temples. “Fine. Let’s hear your idea.”

“You could always try to improve its living situation. Give it some incentive to stay.”

She shakes her head. “Its first cage was fine . It’s just being difficult.”

“I know you said it’s not sentient, but -”

“It’s just mimicking us. It doesn’t understand what it says, or what it does, or any of that. It’s from Xen. All it wants to do is kill and eat, and sometimes that means a little bit of acting.”

“It must’ve chosen this form for a reason. Humans are, to put it plainly, shittily designed when it comes to killing and eating. So why not try treating it like a human?”

Zeki eyes him again, studying him as intensely as he’s seen her stare at Benrey. “You’ve got some kind of attachment to it.”

“I find it interesting. It’s more of a challenge than robotic arms. ”

Another long moment as Zeki stares at him. “You know what? Sure. Fine. I’ll clear it with the head of Robotics, see if we can borrow you over here. I’ll give it a try. But Mr. Bubby, I do hope you remember your place here.”

“That’s Doctor Bubby,” he snaps, straightening up to his full height. He’s nearly a full head taller than her, yet can’t shake the feeling of being looked down on.

“Like I said. I hope you remember your place.”

[subtlereferencetomyinterests]

Complexities Unknowable- Chapter 4

Ao3, chapters  1   2   3   5,  MasterPost

Relationships: Deintruality, background Analogince

The plot of this was lowkey destroyed because apparently Patton and Janus are already somft, but that’s fine. I will continue to call Janus ‘Deceit’ throughout this entire fic to maintain consistency, just so you know. Also, this one’s a long boy, so strap in.

Warnings: Descriptions of gore/body horror (Remus stuff, nothing super bad), swearing, all sympathetic sides, lack of sleep, light arguing, food mention.

Word Count: 2,536

“Did he come back this morning? What did he say?”

“He didn’t do anything bad. Well, nothing super bad. I’m kinda getting used to it.”

“That’s worse!” Virgil was perched on the arm of the couch, staring up at Patton with troubled eyes. Beside him Roman and Logan sat together, the latter looking much less invested in the argument (though he was letting Virgil fidget with his fingers so as to avoid picking apart the threads of his hoodie). 

“It’s not so bad. I think he’s just looking for someone to talk to!” Well, it was like that by now. Patton knew that that wasn’t how it started. It had been about two and a half weeks since Remus had first started popping up to meet Patton before breakfast, and he’d grown quite accustomed to it. Deceit often showed up at night, but his schedule was more sporadic. They did their best to upset him, but the emotional side refused to be mean, no matter what they did! 

But then he’d found that, as their interactions continued, they got much less distressing. They were something else entirely. Odd enough that Patton couldn’t keep himself from telling his family any longer.

“Just ignore him; he’ll get bored.” Roman said tiredly.

“True; if you want them to stop bothering you, it’s best to just not give the two any attention,” Logan added, prompting Roman to give a proud little smile and hum. 

Patton shifted, taking a moment to respond. He wasn’t sure he wanted them to stop bothering him.

Remus grinned at Morality for the second day in a row as he walked into the kitchen. Today, his hand was pressed firmly against the hot stove, skin bubbling in plain view. 

“Oh! You’re back!” Patton forced a smile as he watched Remus nod and remove his red, blistering hand from the burner and heal himself instantly. 

“Yup! Happy to see me?”

Patton  inhaled deeply, pressing his hands against his face. Though his eyes were covered, he could hear Remus giggling to himself.

“Can I- Can I help you with something?” 

The Dark Side seemed to mull the question over for a moment, and then placed his hand back down on the active burner and shrugged. After getting bored with the stove trick, he sat up and grabbed a knife from the block and stabbed it down between each of his fingers repetitively. Patton stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do. In his own kitchen.

You know what? If Remus wanted to hang around while he made breakfast, then the more the merrier! Morality decided he could ignore the occasional tearing sound of a knife on flesh, putting on the coffee pot for when Logan and Virgil eventually woke up. 

He continued on for a while, making pancakes in relative silence. Until his company got bored. 

“Why do you do this every morning?”

“Make breakfast?” 

Remus nodded.

“I do it because it’s nice to do something nice for the other sides.”

“Yeah, but why?”

“They’re my family,” Patton answered with a smile. The Duke seemed to toss the answer around in his head for a minute.

“I mean, I can see how they’re each other’s family, cuz they’re fucking- what makes them your family, then?”

They’re sides like me, he could’ve said, but caught himself. We care about each other, was another answer that probably wouldn’t be great. So he didn’t say anything, faking distraction.

“If you were me,” Remus continued, voice dipping, “You’d know that family means a whole lot of nothing.”

The statement had that odd quality of recitation. He was quoting someone. The usual energy with which The Duke spoke was diminished, but before Patton could ask anything about it, footsteps rushed down the stairs and Remus was gone in a blink. 

Part of him was happy that they’d grown on him- because it proved that he wasn’t nasty or mean- but a much larger part was very, very guilty. He was so sure that they were that they were the mean ones, but now he couldn’t tell. He’d been wrong before.

Patton loved his ‘family’, he really did, but not the way they did each other. Truth be told, he’d also been looking for someone to talk to. 

“You’re back,” Patton acknowledged, his eyes barely open. Deceit didn’t look even a twinge sleepy, dressed as formally as he ever was and sitting with perfect posture. This was the fourth time.

“Don’t sound too excited, Morality,”

“Why are you here, again?” 

“Oh, I’m wounded. I can’t just stop by to see my favorite side?” 

Deceit had seemingly recovered from whatever had him acting less cruel in their previous interactions, but Patton couldn’t say that he was surprised. He wasn’t an idiot. If this was the game they were playing, then fine. Fine.

He paused the episode of Steven Universe he was rewatching and clicked back to The Good Place. It was the episode they’d left off on a few nights before. 

“What are you doing?” Deceit sounded surprised. Patton shot him a look.

“I’m putting on something we both like. It’s considerate. And don’t worry, I didn’t watch it without you.”

The reptilian beside him scoffed, but he didn’t say anything, so. Point for Patton.

They got through a full episode before Deceit spoke up again, pretending to inspect his nails through his gloves. 

“You’ve got quite the healthy sleep schedule.”

“You’re up too,” was the nicest way Morality could think to phrase, you’re one to talk, jerk.

“I have the self-respect to sleep in late. I absolutely abhor the nighttime, but I’m guessing you’ve got another reason being up so late. Isn’t that right?”

Patton paused the show. 

“You really wanna know?”

“Please, enlighten me.”

The goal here, it seemed, was to upset and confuse. And the best way to trip up deception was by being honest, truly and completely.

“I just need to not think. Just for a little while. It’s so hard not to think about all the not-great things I’ve done,” he’d never told anyone how bad it got at night. Maybe that’s what made it so easy to tell Deceit, to get some of the pressure off his shoulders with someone that wouldn’t look at him so pityingly. It was good to tell someone who wouldn’t care.

It was a while before Deceit replied.

“That was the first true thing you’ve said to me, I think. I suppose I should return the favor-” And Deceit looked at him, completely understanding, “Since you were so surprised to learn we found you unpleasant, Remus and I decided to show you why that was. In a way. But maybe that’s not what either of us need.”

Patton finally glanced up, eyes wide. The fact that it was some malicious plot was unsurprising. The second statement was both surprising and confusing. But Deceit wasn’t meeting his eyes, and it was far too late to try to pry anything more out of him. So they just watched TV. Together.

“Pat?”

Virgil’s voice broke him from his thoughts. Patton made sure that he was smiling before he looked up.

“Is there something you aren’t telling us? You’re kinda radiating anxiety right now, buddy,” Virgil’s face darkened, “Did they do something to you? So you won’t-”

“Or can’t,” Roman added.

“-Or can’t ask for help?” 

Patton appreciated the concern, but he couldn’t help it if the insinuation that they would control him made him wince a disgustedly. How could they really think that Deceit or Remus would do that? (he was pointedly ignoring the part of himself that thought they did things like that less than a month ago.)

That morning, when Remus swung down from the top of the fridge in his kraken-like form, Patton hardly blinked. He yawned, in fact, smiling sleepily. 

“G’morning.” 

Remus picked himself up off the floor and shapeshifted into his usual appearance, pouting. 

“Aww, you’re desensitized.”

To be fair, he’d done this every morning for the past two weeks. Patton was quite used to the company, but he still threw his hands up and gave a very fake scream for Remus’ sake. That turned Creativity’s expression right around to a grin and he bounced his shoulders in a laugh. It was oddly cute.

“Hey, I like this,” Remus announced, bending back the prongs of a fork. Morality smiled to cover up that he had no clue how to respond. He almost thought it was some kind of lure, and he wasn’t losing whatever this game was to them. But, Deceit had implied that whatever plan they had was disbanded. But Deceit was Deceit! But that moment had seemed so sincere, and honestly, he wanted to like this too-

“Your eggs are burning,” said Remus, right against his ear. Patton startled at the sudden proximity, and also at the fact that he was totally botching breakfast. Family breakfast.

“Shucks- Thanks-” he hastily took the pan off the heat, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, but you might not like the answer,” The Duke warned, likely having no idea what Patton was going to ask about but knowing it was applicable regardless.

“Why do you always leave when the others wake up?”

He scrunched up his face, pausing whatever it was he was doing with a spare handful of forks. Morality had noticed that his various disturbing activities had gradually gotten a lot less deliberately upsetting and a lot more like he was just trying to keep his hands busy while chatting. 

“‘Shucks’ is just a combination of shit and fuck,” he said instead of answering. 

“Language!” 

Patton let him change the subject; it wasn’t his business, anyway. Remus cackled- part relief but mostly genuine amusement- and carried on as though nothing had happened. Morality listened to him ramble, and looked over when Creativity wanted to show him some piece of art or his rapidly expanding silverware sculpture. Eventually, when footsteps filled the house and Remus was gone, Patton noticed an aching pain in his face. He quickly realized it hurt from how wide his smile had been.

Oh- maybe ‘desensitized’ wasn’t the right word for how he felt about the Dark Sides.

Morality was going to defend Remus and Deceit. Just like he’d defended Virgil to the others all those years ago, before everything (funny, that, and how the three of them ended up together. Maybe if traits listened to him more, they’d see he ended up right sometimes. And Patton hoped- believed- he was right about this).

“I don’t need help, and they didn’t hurt me! Honestly, they may be a little eccentric, but they aren’t… evil.” 

Three sides gazed incredulously at Patton. He couldn’t blame them, for as soon as he said it he could only hear it as something someone else would be telling him. He remained unwavering regardless.

“Well, of course they aren’t; they are sides of Thomas like the rest of us, and naturally they strive to do what they think is best for him. But, their methods and wants are unrealistic at best and extremist at worst, so it is fair that we’d be concerned.”  

Virgil grumbled low in his throat, looking slightly mollified. 

“I- well- yeah, I just don’t want Patton getting in over his head.”

“What now?”

It was the first night since their last weirdly emotional conversation, and though Remus showed up everyday, Morality had almost thought it was the last he’d seen of Deceit. He was relieved it wasn’t, and his question really wasn’t meant to come out that way.

“You totally don’t just have to ask me to leave. It’s not like I’m no longer here on false pretenses- wait, not no longer- I confused myself,” while he was trying to parse out his own words, Patton let out a slightly surprised laugh. 

“No, it’s alright, I- um, I’m used to you guys being around.” 

The inaccuracy of the word “desensitized” once again flashed in his mind as he saw Deceit tamp down a smile, barely hiding the way his fangs peeked out. 

“Well, I still haven’t seen the series finale of The Good Place, so I might as well stay,” he drawled in feigned indifference. 

“The show just wouldn’t be the same without your running commentary,” Patton playfully nudged the liar’s shoulder.

They watched half of season four in one sitting. 

Patton ran a hand down his face and groaned, earning a concerned look from his best friend. 

“I’ll tell you if I need help, I promise. But I need you to trust me that, right now, I’m okay.”

“I trust you,” Virgil replied without hesitation, “It’s them I don’t trust.”

“Well, why not?” 

Logan and Roman exchanged knowing looks while Anxiety tensed his shoulders. He huffed, eyes downcast.

“I mean… it’s not exactly a secret that I didn’t leave on great terms. I wouldn’t be surprised if they still had it out for, like, all of us, due to association. Especially considering-” he gestured to Roman, who gave a solemn nod. Patton briefly reflected on the terrible fact that nobody in his life could communicate effectively (including himself (wow, maybe some of Deceit’s bitterness was rubbing off on him)). 

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take if it means there’s a chance that we’ll all come out of this for the better!” At this point it was unlikely that there was any risk, but arguing with his family made his head hurt.

“If you think you can get them to be cooperative, then I’m all for it. Our current state isn’t exactly sustainable in the long term, so we’d better resolve the issue sooner rather than later,” Logan said.

“It would be nice to not have to worry about those guys all the time, I guess. If you really think you can get them under control,” Virgil shifted uncomfortably. 

“Yes- but if they do get out of hand, I will take care of them for you, Padre!” Roman flew to his feet with a self-assured smirk, eyes blazing like he could see the scene before him as he summoned his sword. 

“That...  is very sweet. I’ll keep that in mind, Ro,” Morality gently patted his arm, subtly trying to guide the sword out of its path of destruction. 

As the conversation lulled, Patton made his escape, calling out an excuse of making lunch. 

As Patton tidied his work space, his eyes flicked over the counters. He spotted a disheveled black sketchbook that lay forgotten by the stove, its cover swallowed by stickers and doodles which were unmistakably Remus’. 

That morning, The Duke had wandered in and pushed himself up onto the counter, holding out his sketchbook wordlessly, a smile on his face. It was routine by that point, but Patton was still ecstatic every time he got to see the art. While it was horrifying almost all the time, his love of drawing overpowered his disgust and he couldn’t help but shower the pictures with compliments (seeing the way Remus’ usual manic expression softened with appreciation was also a bonus).

After peeking his head around the corner to ensure that the rest of the sides were sufficiently distracted, Patton grabbed the lost leatherbound book and sank out to return it. 

Taglist:

@deceits-left-glove​ @princemesscharming @shrimp-crockpot

[hopes4gf]

Thievery and Mischief- (a descendants/marvel crossover)

(song)

The next day, I make calls to cancel everything for that week of cotillion. 

“He did what?!” Aziz says through the phone.

”Then he slammed the door and told me not to come looking for him. I knew I should’ve taken a break,” I sob.

”But...Lonnie. She would never do that willingly,” Aziz says.

”You t-think he manipulated h-her?” I ask.

”I don’t know. But they both love you a lot. I don’t know why they would ever do this to you,” Aziz says.

”I’m gonna go to lunch, okay?” I say, sniffling.

”I’ll see you later,” I say.

Later, I see the core four return with Ben safely. Dude follows behind them and I see his mouth move.

”He talks,” I assume, thinking to myself.

Suddenly, Jane appears in front of me. 

“Hey, Adri! I need your help desperately,” Jane says.

”What’s up?” I ask.

”I need help loading the items onto the yacht, and your strength will be super helpful,” Jane squeaks.

I nod in agreement.

”I’ll call you later for the deets, okay?” Jane says.

”Yeah,” I say, Jane walks away.

My eyes meet with Jay’s brown ones. Next to him, Lonnie stares at me and she lets go of his hand. Are they guilty?

I see Mal with her purple hair now returned as opposed to her usual blonde. I watch Ben go up to kiss her and Mal getting uncomfortable. 

Somethings wrong. But that is none of my business.

I head to lunch and I sit alone. Arabella is too busy with the royals to sit with me. The core four and Lonnie and Ben sit together at one awkward table. I look around and everyone stares as the celebrity that everyone adores sits alone. Audrey and her goons snicker as they stare at me and Lonnie and Jay glare as they catch my gaze. Tears well up in my eyes again as I eat my lunch. 

From the corner of my eye, I see Logan appear again.

”Don’t you have lunch next period?” I ask him.

”Yes but, I wanted to give you an idea. Since I’m the king of pranks I was wondering if-“

”I’m not gonna do a stupid prank, you idiot,” I grumble.

”No! We should be a fake couple at cotillion. Make believe we are dating so that Jay feels guilty about all the shit he said and Lonnie can be available for Aziz,” Logan says.

My head perks up at the sound of my brother’s name.

”How did you know about Aziz?” I ask him, now interested.

Logan smirks.

”Only if you agree,” Logan assures.

”I’m all ears,” I say with a smirk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night comes around sooner than later, Cotillion! Where the King assures his courtship with his Queen at their first party. Evie comes to my room to deliver my dress.

”Hey, Adri,” She greets shyly.

”Hi,” I say shortly, continuing my makeup.

”I know about Jay,” She says.

i stop and I huff. Tears start to fall down my cheeks even at the mention of his name. She walks towards me and hugs me.

”Can I tell you something about him?” Evie asks me.

I nod.

”When I first met him, he was such an ass. Totally cheeky and used to tease me because I was naïve even if I was pretty. He told me that looks never mattered to him. That it was the intelligence and passion that made a woman. And you, have the brains and the beauty, Adri. You are one hell of a woman. You love him even when doesn’t even notice. You support him even if you’re not there. He doesn’t realize that the person he claims can be with him, is you. You mean so much to him. It’s so crazy how much he’s changed because of what you’ve done for him. And no other girl can ever do what you do Adri. Because you work your ass off so that you can give him the life you both deserve,” Evie rants.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and smile.

”I thought no one cared,” I say.

”Of course I care. You helped me with Chad, I help you with Jay,” Evie says.

i laugh recalling our moment.

”Now show that stupid bitch was he’s missing,” Evie says, handing me my dress.

I laugh and go to my bathroom to change.

i get to the ship early and help Jane over the phone load the items. Over the phone, I hear Carlos ask her to Cotillion and I smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN: I'M GONNA EXPLAIN THIS QUICKLY. DURING THE SCENES IN D2, JAY STARES AT ADRI AS SHE WALKS WITH LOGAN. ADRI DOESN'T SPEAK WITH THE PRESS. MAL AND BEN HAVE THEIR MOMENT WITH UMA AND THE BATTLE HAPPENS. EVERYONE PARTIES IN THE WATER-FILLED YACHT.

I stand and stare out at the water. Uma. Daughter of Ursula. I remember seeing her face. While I’m lost in my train of thought someone approaches my side.

”Logan left you all alone on the dance floor, huh?” Jay says, now standing beside me.

”Looks like I didn’t have to look for you at all,” I scoff.

Jay sighs.

”Guess what?” Jay asks.

”What?” I ask, groaning.

“I know exactly what you’re trying to do,” Jay says.

”Do you?” I ask, raising a brow.

Jay grabs me by my waist and I try to break free of his grasp. I struggle as he tightly grips my waist.

”You and I aren’t going anywhere, baby,” He whispers.

Huh?

”Huh?” I ask.

Jay laughs softly. The first time I’ve seen a smile from him in a while.

“Surprise!” Lonnie says, appearing behind him. Aziz stand sneaked and her and from the corner of my eye, I see Evie and Carlos laughing.

”YOU?” I say in realization.

They had the same plan as me. To get me jealous, Lonnie and Jay acted like they were dating to get me to notice.

”I CRIED FOR THREE DAYS BECAUSE OF NOTHING? YOU MADE ME WATCH TITANIC A HUNDRED TIMES TILL I FELL ASLEEP CRYING WHILE EATING A TUB OF ICE CREAM?” I yell.

”What? Baby, I didn’t know you’d get that emotional,” Jay laughs.

”I LOVED YOU! I YELLED AT YOU AND YOU MADE ME CRY. YOU ASSHOLE!” I yell. 

Jay's eyes widen as he stares me down. My tiger form starts to morph and I smirk. I go completely tiger mode and I chase him across the deck.

I catch up to him, pouncing on him.

”Babe, please don’t kill me! It was a joke! I swear!” Jay says.

”Next time, it better not be a joke,” I growl in my tiger form. I switch out of my form and return to being human. Spectators around me watch in admiration at my shapeshifting.

I get off of him and we both stand up.

”Did I really make you cry for three days?” He teases.

”Shut up,” I muttered, slapping his arm.

”Ay! That hurt,” Jay says.

I laugh as he winces in pain.

youtu.be/QMP-o8WXSPM

“Hey, you wanna dance?” Jay asks.

”After you literally gave me a heart attack for 3 days straight, yelled at me, and made me tackle you, you wanna dance?” I ask.

”Sure, you are my girlfriend, right?” Jay asks.

”Girlfriend? I thought Jay cheated,” Jordan says, raising a brow.

”Listen, cuz. You can take this to the show right now. Start rolling these damn cameras,” I say.

Jordan tells her camera crew to start rolling.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Jordan Genie here with breaking news! Adri Ababwa confirms her boyfriend. I’m here with her now at the Royal Cotillion. Why have you chosen not to speak to the press lately?” Jordan asks.

”I decided that now was the right time in my career to open up a little more and start to realize what things make me happy and that I should be selfishly ashamed of. So, I believe that my fans deserve to know that I am deeply in love with Jay Farr, my boyfriend of 5 months,” I say with a smile.

”Jay, how do you feel that your girlfriend decided to reveal this information at last?” Jordan asks.

”I’m proud of her actually. We had an experience in our relationship that tested how much we loved each other and how far we were willing to go to show other people how protective we are of what we have together and what I found was that she is such a bright girl with a big heart and I couldn’t ask for more than that,” Jay says sweetly.

”And what have you learned about Jay from your experience as a couple, Adri?” Jordan asks.

”I’ve learned that this man is so shy compared to his hard exterior and that he wants nothing but for me to be happy even when I’m working so hard and stressed out of my mind over these events and planning,” I say.

”Thank you for this update, you guys. Have a good night y’all!” Jordan says, signing off. The cameras cut and I sigh in relief.

”We’ll upload that now. It was perfect,” Jordan says.

Jay takes my hands and we start dancing slowly. We sway to the beat of the music and our group looks on. Jay turns me and I land in his chest.

”I’m so glad I got to take everything off my chest about you. You work so hard, babe. You deserve to not have that much pressure,” Jay says.

”At least the press can finally take pictures of our romantic moments,” I joke.

”Hey, does that mean I can kiss you now?” Jay asks.

”Sure you can, handsome,” I say grabbing his collar.

He pulls me by my waist and kisses me passionately.

”Hey! Save some of that for the bedroom,” Mal says, heading towards us.

”Long time no see Lady Mal,” I say.

”Princess Adri, it is a pleasure,” Mal jokes.

We laugh in unison.

”Hello possessive girlfriend, Adri!” Ben greets.

”Shut up, crown boxers,” I say with a smirk.

Mal laughs at my joke and the group looks at us confused.

”How do you know what his underwear looks like?” Carlos asks.

”We’re childhood friends, these are things we just know,” Lonnie says, coming up to us.

”Including that you can be a bitch when you’re cheeky,” I say through gritted teeth.

”Hey, I would never steal your man. You are so in love with him. Besides, I have my sights set on someone else,” Lonnie shrugs.

“And who would that be?” Someone says from behind us.

Aziz strides towards Lonnie and she blushes.

”Someone,” Lonnie says shyly.

”You look a little light-headed, sis. You good?” Aziz jokes.

”Hold on, you knew?“ I ask, surprised.

”I warned you,” Aziz says.

I roll my eyes.

”Hold on, how many people knew?” I ask.

Let's just say everyone was in on it.

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