#<-- 100% inability to recognize/identify emotions

[kg2hub]

HII Do you headcanon Felix as having alexithymia?? That's so cool!! I can really see it

yeah absolutely!! i've had this hc for a while, as far back as when my old felix rp blog was new lmao.

i'm glad to know other ppl see it too, thank you!! :D <3 <3

[bossmamacita]

Luz - Emotional Processing Notes (this is the organized version see below for my brainrot version)

Luz exhibits traits of alexithymia, specifically struggling to label her emotions despite feeling them intensely. Her physical reactions often clue her in to what she might be feeling, though she's prone to misinterpretation. She’s never been to therapy, so her self-awareness is limited, but through her experiences and interactions, she begins to piece things together.

Examples: In a high-stake situation in SR1 she mistakes fear for anger (elevated heart rate, body sweat, etc.) and has an explosive reaction that complicates a situation.

Notes: Luz’s lack of therapy/proper emotional understanding does eventually lead to growth. I envision this through multiple characters from the series who have undergone therapy to some degree recognizing Luz's struggles and offering insight, even if it’s initially rejected. It plants the seed in her head. (This might end up being her sister, Elena who she communicates with occasionally at the hospital.)

Anger is the easiest emotion for Luz to recognize because it produces clear physical symptoms: a racing heart, tension, and a surge of energy. She channels this into violence, finding a return to homeostasis after releasing her pent-up energy. Murdering, descruction, fighting, the whole lot here. This coping mechanism is both a strength and a weakness, as it sometimes leads to impulsive actions but also explains why she hasn’t flat out died yet.

—

Transitioning/Dysphoria

Luz's transition in her early twenties is delayed due to her inability to identify her dysphoria. Throughout SR1, her anger and volatility are heightened by this unrecognized core discomfort. As she ages, listens to her companions, makes friends, and deals with challenges as Playa, she starts to understand herself better.

Examples: My brain is struggling here but just imagine some inner monologues that show her lifelong but unrecognized dysphoria. Moments where she feels out of place, angry without understanding why, these all gradually lead to her realization pretty quickly into SR1 storyline but she stays closeted as Cez for awhile. She waits to gain reputation and respect.

Notes: Unrelated but really curious as to how yall canon Saints companions reacting to a trans Playa character. I feel like there’s room for stuff here but I haven’t really thought about it… like for someone like Luz who is besties with Aisha and Johnny would they have an opinion? Approve/dissaprove initially? How does it affect their friendship if there is some phobic vibes or does it not affect it at all due to the respect Playa has as a person idk

—

Relationship w/ Johnny and Aisha

Luz is a keen observer, especially in SR1, using others as a reference to understand her emotions. She connects with Johnny because of his directness and unapologetic nature, which aligns with her literal thinking. She admires Aisha’s femininity, success, and passion for music. Their romantic relationship confuses Luz, but third-wheeling with them helps her gather insights.

Notes: The insights are not always great. I think Luz would try to emulate aspects of Johnny and Aisha’s relationship in her own flings, but it fails, which adds to her confusion and irritation. An example like taking someone out to Freckle Bitches on a first date. Johnny did it and Aisha stayed, why can’t I? The reason why she emulates them I think is because she does recognize they have a deep bond whether they realize it or not. She can identify the emotion in them but she would not be able to do it in herself if that makes sense? She does want a real relationship like theirs at first but she fails too many times with her shitty method in SR1 so she becomes a player. Playa. Get it. (Aisha and Johnny 100% bully her for this as a bestie trio thing)

Flings and Manipulation and… Gaslighting?

In SR1, Luz engages in random flings and flirts with strangers, often as a means of emotional manipulation and gaslighting. These unreliable relationships reflect her dysfunctional understanding of normal relationships. She feels nothing genuine for her romantic pursuits, kinda just using them as a way to waste time and gain influence/information, focusing on power and ambition as main traits in this game. She is not extroverted at all so she kinda has that silent guy rizz and a pretty face that worked somehow on men and women.

Shift in SR2

By SR2, Luz has grown more emotionally aware and confident in her identity. Transitioning has expanded her emotional range, thanks to gender-affirming care and hormones. She remains direct and brash but is less obsessed with power, knowing her worth. (Getting blown up does that to ya) Her leadership style is defined by her no-nonsense attitude and refusal to take any disrespect.

Luz’s relationships with her companions evolve. She gets along well with Johnny and Aisha (post coma reunion) and they both play a significant role in her life. She idealizes Johnny/Aisha a bit as power couple despite their issues because she can identify that core emotion in them. Ask her to identify that emotion in herself though and she cannot.

—

Relationship w/ Luz and Carlos

Carlos's willingness to do anything for Luz puzzles her. She explores this by befriending him, experiencing a mix of flirty vibes and a sense of normalcy that she can’t quite interpret. Her interactions with Carlos are marked by fluctuating feelings she can’t label. The gang notices this dynamic, but Luz denies it. After Carlos's death, Luz is overwhelmed with regret, realizing too late how much she cared for him. This is a pivotal moment for her emotional clarity.

Examples: "Luz, you ever wonder why we do this?" Carlos spoke softly, acknowledging their closeness. Luz felt her chest well with tightness, misinterpreting the feeling that rose in her body. “It’s about power, Carlos. Nothing else.” Carlos blinked at her slowly, “For you, maybe. For me, it’s different.” Luz distanced herself from Carlos, attempting to brush off his words. “Stop overthinking it.”

Post Death:

Luz held the gold chain Carlos wore, pressing her thumb against the cross pendant. “Why does this hurt so much?” She whispered to herself, the tightness in her chest returning, sharper. She could not ignore or misplace the deep wound she felt. It wasn’t about power. It wasn’t about anger. It was loss. Regret.

—

Impact of Aisha’s Death

Aisha’s death hits Luz hard, triggering intense feelings of sadness, guilt, and envy. These emotions, compounded by Johnny's grief, strain their friendship. They become coworkers rather than close friends, driven by a shared goal of vengeance. Luz compartmentalizes her emotions, focusing on tracking down those responsible, leading to resentment and conflict with Johnny.

Luz and Johnny’s relationship deteriorates after their losses. They clash, with harsh words and physical fights reflecting their internal turmoil. (Peep that art i made) (I also kinda see the fight as a foil to their previous friendship and the end of SR1 them and start of sr2 them) Their arguments include comparisons of their losses, revealing their vulnerabilities at the core. Eventually, they realize they must support each other rather than fight, leading to a tentative truce. Their relationship rebuilds slowly, marked by raw honesty and mutual growth between the duo.

Luz’s feelings for Johnny develop over time. She recognizes her emotions sooner than she did with Carlos but remains hesitant. A slow burn towards a romantic relationship vibes. Imagine scenes where there is chemistry but unspoken. Classic unintentional physical closeness- I don’t know Luz is questioning her feelings. Debating on giving them a romantic encounter before the fight to serve as a catalyst but unsure. Unresolved feelings about Aisha and Carlos with that poor choice of sexual distraction could be interesting way to confront guilt/grief.

Examples: im too dead for this

"You don’t get it, Luz. Aisha’s death is on all of us."

"How can you say that? I didn’t kill her!"

I don’t know words here

*anger and confusion, lashing out grrrr* “Don't you dare compare your loss to mine. Carlos was—"

”Was what, Luz? ‘Nother pawn to you?"

Luz explodes in anger, initiating a physical fight

After

Bruised and bleeding

"We can't keep doing this, Johnny. We’re on the same side."

“Yeah, well, maybe if we talked instead of throwing punches..."

“Talking’s not exactly our thing."

“No, but maybe it should be."

[secondofthelegion]

PERSONALITY TYPE

ENTJ-A "The Commander"

SUMMARY

Commanders are bold, imaginative, and strong-willed, always finding a way – or making one. These decisive types love momentum and accomplishment, often acting on their creative visions.

INTRODUCTION

As an ENTJ (Commander), you are a natural-born leader with an unparalleled drive to turn your visions into reality. Your strategic mind excels at seeing the big picture, identifying long-term goals, and devising efficient plans to achieve them. You possess a rare combination of confidence, charisma, and decisiveness that draws others to you and inspires them to follow your lead.

Your approach to life is characterized by ambition and a relentless pursuit of success. You have an innate ability to organize people and resources, creating order out of chaos and transforming abstract ideas into concrete results. Your sharp intellect and rational decision-making skills allow you to navigate complex situations with ease, always keeping your eye on the ultimate objective.

[ For more detail, click READ MORE. ]

PERSONALITY TRAITS

Energy: 56% Extraverted Mind: 51% Intuitive Nature: 100% Thinking Tactics: 100% Judging Identity: 81% Assertive

Your direct communication style is both a strength and a challenge. While it enables you to express your thoughts clearly and persuasively, it can sometimes come across as blunt or insensitive to those around you. You value efficiency and competence above all else, which can make you impatient with those who don’t meet your high standards.

You thrive in environments that challenge you and provide opportunities for growth and leadership. You’re not content with the status quo and are always looking for ways to improve systems, processes, and people. Your ability to see potential and drive change makes you an invaluable asset in any organization or group, but it also means you may struggle with mundane tasks or situations that don’t align with your grand vision.

CAREER PATH

Your career is more than just a job – it’s a platform for you to exercise your leadership skills and make a significant impact. You’re naturally drawn to roles that allow you to strategize, make important decisions, and guide others towards a common goal. Whether you’re running your own business or climbing the corporate ladder, you’re always aiming for the top, driven by an unwavering belief in your abilities and a desire to leave your mark on the world.

However, your career path isn’t without its challenges. Your preference for big-picture thinking and strategic planning may cause you to overlook important details or become frustrated with day-to-day operations. Learning to appreciate and manage the smaller aspects of your work, while also delegating effectively, will be crucial for your long-term success. Additionally, your direct communication style and high expectations may need to be tempered in certain professional settings to maintain positive relationships with colleagues and subordinates.

STRENGTHS

Born Leader Efficiency Expert Strategic Mastermind Ambitious

WEAKNESSES

Emotionally Unaware Domineering Impatient Perfectionist

PERSONAL GROWTH

Your journey of personal growth centers around balancing your natural strengths with developing new skills that may not come as easily to you. One of your primary challenges is developing emotional intelligence – learning to recognize and respond to the feelings of others, as well as understanding and managing your own emotions. This involves cultivating empathy and patience, which can sometimes feel at odds with your efficiency-driven nature.

Another key area for your personal development is learning to embrace flexibility and delegate control. While your confidence and decisiveness are valuable assets, they can sometimes lead to rigidity or an inability to trust others with important tasks. By working on these aspects, you can become an even more effective leader and a more well-rounded individual, capable of navigating both the professional and personal spheres with greater ease and satisfaction.

STRENGTHS

Self-Improver Logical Problem-Solver Goal-Oriented Self-Confident

WEAKNESSES

Emotionally Unaware Self-Critical Workaholic Resistance to Introspection

RELATIONSHIPS

In your relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships, your direct and honest approach creates a foundation of trust and clarity. You value loyalty and commitment, and when you find someone who meets your high standards, you’re willing to invest fully in the relationship. Your natural charisma and confidence can make you an exciting and inspiring partner or friend, always ready to tackle new challenges and push boundaries together.

However, your relationships may face challenges due to your intense focus on goals and achievement, which can sometimes overshadow the emotional needs of those close to you. Learning to express your feelings more openly and making time for genuine emotional connections is crucial for maintaining healthy, balanced relationships. By developing your capacity for empathy and actively working on your emotional intelligence, you can create deeper, more fulfilling connections with the important people in your life.

STRENGTHS

Loyal Intellectually Stimulating Direct Communicator Protective

WEAKNESSES

Emotionally Reserved Domineering Impatient Overly critical

Role: Analyst

Analysts embrace rationality and impartiality, excelling in intellectual debates and scientific or technological fields. They are fiercely independent, open-minded, and strong-willed.

Strategy: People Mastery

Individuals who prefer the People Mastery Strategy seek social contact and have very good communication skills, feeling at ease in social events or directing others. They’re confident and readily express their opinions.

[quitaddictionnow]

Embark on the Journey: Mental Health Recovery Unveiled

Many delay mental health treatment until facing significant challenges. Prioritizing mental health is crucial for a balanced and fulfilling life.

In this article, we delve into indicators prompting professional assistance, various treatment aspects, and the journey to recovery.

Signs That Signal the Need for Mental Health Treatment

Identifying pivotal signs: Persistent Emotional Distress: Living with constant emotional turmoil can be debilitating. Overwhelmed by sadness, anxiety, or despair? It's time for professional help.

Disruptive Sleep Patterns: Quality sleep is fundamental. Consistent disturbances, whether insomnia or excessive sleep, can indicate underlying mental health concerns.

Social Withdrawal and Isolation: Human connection is vital. A sudden withdrawal from social activities is a red flag; professional assistance may be necessary.

Unexplained Physical Ailments: Mind and body are connected. Persistent physical complaints without a clear medical cause may manifest mental distress.

Inability to Cope with Daily Challenges: Life is full of challenges. If coping with everyday tasks becomes overwhelming, seeking help is a proactive step toward regaining control.

Changes in Appetite and Weight: Fluctuations signal mental health struggles. Pay attention to changes in appetite and weight for crucial insights.

Difficulty Concentrating: Mental health affects cognition. Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or maintaining focus requires consultation with a professional.

Engaging in Risky Behaviors: Escapist behaviors like substance abuse signal internal struggles. Recognizing these as signals for help is essential for long-term well-being.

Importance of Seeking Timely Treatment

Key reasons: Preventing Escalation of Symptoms: Addressing mental health concerns promptly prevents symptom escalation, impacting overall quality of life.

Enhancing Recovery Possibilities: Timely intervention significantly increases recovery chances. Equip yourself with coping mechanisms for a faster, comprehensive recovery.

Seeking Professional Help for Mental Health Recovery Treatment

Mental health recovery treatments offer hope and healing on this challenging journey.

Let’s delve into the most effective treatments that foster mental health recovery.

Psychotherapy:

A cornerstone providing a safe space to explore thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Identify and restructure negative thought patterns for lasting positive change.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Focus on emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness for resilience and balance.

Medication:

Integral for balancing neurotransmitter levels, alleviating symptoms under professional supervision.

Mindfulness and Meditation:

Holistic benefits fostering a deep mind-body connection. Cultivate awareness for mental health recovery.

Nutrition and Exercise:

Well-balanced diet and regular exercise are fundamental. Enhance mental and physical health through comprehensive plans.

Art and Music Therapy:

Express emotions creatively for a transformative impact on mental health recovery.

Peer Support Groups:

Build a sense of community, share experiences, and reduce isolation for a powerful motivator in recovery.

Conclusion

Recognizing signs for mental health treatment is proactive for overall well-being. Break down barriers, seek professional help, and foster supportive communities for a prioritized mental health world.

Remember, mental health is a journey, and seeking help is a powerful act of self-care.

Connect with our team at (888) 564-4780 or fill out the form; we'll guide you through the best mental health recovery treatments with our 100+ partnered treatment centers across the US.

[filagrafxtplus]

Understanding Erectile Dysfunction: Causes, Side Effects, Solutions, and Treatment

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a prevalent condition affecting millions of men worldwide. It refers to the inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for satisfactory sexual performance. While ED can be a source of concern and frustration, it's essential to recognize that it's a treatable condition. In this blog, we will delve into the causes, side effects, and available solutions and treatments for erectile dysfunction, providing valuable insights to help individuals navigate this condition.

 Causes of Erectile Dysfunction:

 Physical Factors: Various physical factors can contribute to ED, such as cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, obesity, hormonal imbalances, high blood pressure, and prostate issues.

Psychological Factors: Stress, anxiety, depression, relationship problems, and performance anxiety can all play a significant role in the development or exacerbation of erectile dysfunction.

Lifestyle Choices: Unhealthy habits like smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, substance abuse, and a sedentary lifestyle can contribute to ED.

Medications: Certain medications, including antidepressants, antihistamines, and blood pressure medications, may have side effects that affect sexual function.

Underlying Medical Conditions: Conditions like multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's disease, Peyronie's disease, and certain types of cancer can increase the risk of developing erectile dysfunction.

Side Effects of Erectile Dysfunction:

Aside from the obvious impact on sexual performance, ED can lead to a range of emotional and psychological effects. These may include low self-esteem, decreased confidence, anxiety, and relationship strain. The repercussions of untreated erectile dysfunction can extend beyond the bedroom, affecting overall quality of life and mental well-being.

 Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction:

 Lifestyle Modifications: Adopting a healthier lifestyle can have a positive impact on erectile function. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, weight management, and avoiding excessive alcohol and tobacco can improve overall health, potentially reducing the severity of ED.

Psychological Support: Seeking counseling or therapy can help address the psychological factors contributing to ED. It provides a safe space to explore and manage stress, anxiety, and relationship issues.

Medication: Several prescription medications, such as sildenafil (Viagra), tadalafil (Cialis), and vardenafil (Levitra), are available to help achieve and sustain an erection. These medications work by enhancing blood flow to the penis, but they should be used under medical supervision.

Vacuum Erection Devices: These devices create a vacuum around the penis, drawing blood into the organ and helping to achieve an erection. A constriction band is then applied at the base to maintain the erection temporarily.

Penile Implants: In severe cases of ED that don't respond to other treatments, surgical options like penile implants can provide a long-term solution. These implants offer reliable erections on demand and are usually reserved for individuals who have exhausted other options.

Treatment Options:

It's crucial to consult with a healthcare professional to determine the most appropriate treatment for individual cases of ED. A comprehensive evaluation can help identify the underlying cause and guide the selection of the most effective treatment strategy. A combination of lifestyle changes, psychological support, and medical interventions may be recommended to address the condition holistically.

Fildena 100 mg is a medication that is sometimes referred to as the "purple triangular Viagra." However, it is important to note that Fildena is not the same as Viagra, despite some similarities in their effects. Fildena contains sildenafil citrate, which is the active ingredient also found in Viagra.

Sildenafil citrate is a phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) inhibitor. It works by increasing blood flow to the penis, helping men with erectile dysfunction to achieve and maintain an erection during sexual stimulation. This medication is commonly prescribed for individuals who struggle with erectile dysfunction.

 Conclusion:

Erectile dysfunction is a common condition that can significantly impact a man's quality of life and overall well-being. However, it's important to remember that effective solutions and treatments are available. By understanding the causes, recognizing the potential side effects, and exploring the various treatment options, individuals can take proactive steps toward managing and overcoming erectile dysfunction. Remember, seeking professional help and support is essential, as healthcare providers are well-equipped to guide you toward the most suitable treatment plan for your specific situation. With the right approach, ED can be effectively addressed

[humanlifehereandnow]

The three factors for the Collaboration of Artificial Intelligence and Human Meta-Thinking

Artificial intelligence (AI) like ChatGpt is a powerful tool that has revolutionized how we approach many tasks, from data analysis to speech recognition. However, despite its many benefits, AI is fundamentally limited because it can only operate within a given range of parameters. While it can be highly effective at identifying patterns and making predictions within this range, it is incapable of the kind of creative thinking, and problem-solving humans can undertake. Recently American Go player Kellen Perlin beat KataGO, one of the best Go AIs, 14 out of 15 times because he employed a strategy so unusual that it was not in the AI's training data. As a result, the algorithm failed to recognize the procedure and was defeated.

This case illustrates the dilemma of all modern AI: it can only take control of a situation if it is well-trained and fails when it has to apply its trained knowledge to other situations. Artificial intelligence only can answer within the realm of learning. It should always be carefully examined whether Human requires information beyond the learned scope of AI. One of the critical ways humans can outperform AI is in our capacity to find and utilize new meanings in the relationships between things beyond the given area. Humans can draw on various experiences, knowledge, and intuitions to approach problems from multiple angles and develop novel solutions.

One crucial factor contributing to this capacity is the ability to think abstractly. Unlike AI, which can only operate within specific parameters, humans can conceptualize abstract concepts and ideas and use these to make connections between seemingly disparate fields. This kind of thinking is often referred to as lateral thinking and is essential to the creative problem-solving that is required in many areas of work and life.

Another critical factor is the role of intuition and creativity. Humans can draw on many experiences and insights to develop innovative ideas and solutions. This is because we can see beyond the surface-level information and draw on our experiences and knowledge to find deeper meanings and connections.

A third factor that contributes to our ability to find and utilize new meanings is our capacity for empathy and emotional intelligence. By understanding the needs and perspectives of others, we can approach problems from multiple angles and develop more effective and sustainable solutions. Despite these many strengths, it is essential to recognize that there are also limitations to human thinking. For example, we are often subject to cognitive biases and cannot always be aware of our blind spots. This is why working collaboratively with others and drawing on diverse perspectives and experiences is essential to approach problems from multiple angles and develop practical solutions. In addition, AI learns complex materials for humans to read even after 100 years of reading in just a few seconds and categorizes and identifies their characteristics.

In summary, while AI is a powerful tool that has revolutionized many areas of work and life, it is fundamentally limited by its inability to think abstractly, draw on intuition and creativity, and understand the needs and perspectives of others. On the other hand, humans can draw on a wide range of experiences, knowledge, and intuitions to approach problems from multiple angles and develop novel solutions. By working with AI collaboratively and drawing on a diverse range of perspectives, we can continue to leverage the strengths of AI and human meta-thinking to effectively solve the complex challenges of the future. He will have a big chance of success when AI leaves things that AI is good at to AI and does not miss the role of catching the overall flow of work.

[hurglewurm]

C- Can I read the coraline essay 😳?

ok but it’s Long so i’m putting most of it under a cut

lmao ahem. 

Promises of the Womb

Neil Gaiman’s Coraline presents a horror that takes the form of what is often the most comforting: a mother, and a home. The novel’s protagonist, the eponymous Coraline, is nearing the cusp of adolescence, and therefore slowly exiting the dependence that children have on their parents. As she struggles with the new distance between her and her parents, she also faces the Other Mother and the Other World, which invite her to re-enter her childhood state of dependence on her mother (only now her Other Mother)—to accept and become part of the space that the Other Mother has created, and thereby be reintegrated into the metaphorical womb. Because Coraline is of a liminal age, neither a helpless child nor yet an adolescent, reintegration into the metaphorical womb is both revolting and somehow appealing; revolting in how it would disintegrate Coraline’s identity and selfhood, and yet appealing in its promise of never again facing the stress of growing more independent and separate from her mother. 

The novel opens with Coraline in her original world, where she, as a child, feels silenced by adults, who do not make efforts to recognize her identity. This is especially seen in the mispronunciation of her name, which David Rudd identifies as a factor of Coraline’s “frustration of feeling neglected” by the adults around her (Rudd 164). Coraline often ineffectually protests: “It’s Coraline. Not Caroline. Coraline [….] I asked you not to call me Caroline. It’s Coraline” (Gaiman 2), only for her neighbours to continue calling her “Caroline”. Chloé Germaine Buckley argues further that the collective inability of her neighbours to say her name correctly signals that “ ‘Coraline,’ the ‘child,’ is a particularly tricky, unstable construct” (Buckley 71), and that she exists to them as “a figure who always emanates from and belongs to the adult imagination” (71), meaning they assume to know how she feels and what her name is based on their own expectations as adults speaking to a child. Coraline’s struggle being tied to her age is made explicit in her conversation with the police officer over the phone, and she “trie[s] extra hard to sound like an adult might sound, to make him take her seriously” (Gaiman 52); Coraline is aware of her age and how it makes people perceive her, and this frustrates her all the more, as she cannot do anything about it. 

In the Other World, however, this struggle is conspicuously absent, as Other Mr. Bobo and Other Misses Spink and Forcible speak Coraline’s name correctly before she even gives it to them; Other Mr. Bobo says, “Hello Coraline” when he sees her (30), and Miss Spink invites her on stage and says, “Now, Coraline, […] what’s your name?” (40). Furthermore, the Other World paints itself as appealing to Coraline by how much attention she gets from the adults there, particularly the Other Mother; despite Coraline’s wanting not to be treated as a child by the police officer, the Other World functions to soothe and contest the “fear that the increasing independence her real parents demand of her amounts to rejection and abandonment” (Gooding 396), as Richard Gooding puts it. While the real world simultaneously dismisses her for her youth and demands independence of her for her being suitably old enough to warrant it, the Other World provides an alternative: Coraline is invited to embrace her youth, to reside in a child’s bedroom with walls painted “in an off-putting shade of green and a peculiar shade of pink” (Gaiman 28), to play with “[a] whole toy box filled with wonderful toys” (28), and to wear “dressing-up clothes” and costumes that “she would love to have hanging in her own wardrobe at home” (67). In short, Coraline is invited to integrate into the space the Other Mother has created for her, free of the pressures of growing up, and to become her daughter: to take her place permanently in the Other Mother’s womb. 

Viewing the Other World as womb-like in more than a strictly metaphorical sense requires a certain putting aside of the novel’s descriptive language taken from Coraline’s perspective, which largely describes the Other characters as bug-like as they start to devolve: Miss Spink and Miss Forcible’s bodies are mashed together inside of a sac like a “spider’s egg case” (99), “stuck to the back wall like a slug” (98); the Other Father is “pale and swollen like a grub with thin, sticklike arms and feet” (108); Mr. Bobo is likened to an “enormous dead insect” (116); and the Other Mother is described as distinctly spider-like, with skin “the colour of a spider’s belly” (126), a predator to all the others. Rudd plays on the spider imagery in his article, describing Coraline as being in danger of becoming “trapped in the ‘other mother’s’ web, and ultimately absorbed” (Rudd 160). However, the bug-like descriptors are relegated to similes, meant to evoke emotions in the reader but not necessarily a strict likeness to bugs—in fact, the Other Mother’s eating of bugs (crunching) is not at all reminiscent of how a spider would trap its prey and liquefy it before consumption, and Buckley presents the Other Mother as having rather “predatory bird-like characteristics” (Buckley 66). 

It is in looking at the Other characters in the novel that the fetal elements become more apparent, painting the space where they reside as a womb. Gooding quotes Karen Coats in describing “the degenerate forms of Miss Spink and Miss Forcible” which now “resemble fetuses, suggesting an ‘infantile state of undifferentiation’ ” (Gooding 399), as they have “melted and melded together into one ghastly thing” (Gaiman 100). The Other Father, grublike though he may seem, is certainly no bug: his body is malleable like “pale clay” (109), and his most frightening aspect seems to be his mouth, which “open[s] in the mouthless face, strands of pale stuff sticking to the lips” (108), recalling a notion of Kristevian abject. Julia Kristeva defines the abject as “what disturbs identity, system, order. What does not respect borders, positions, rules” (Kristeva 4): the Other Father’s transgressive mouth, creating an opening in his body where there was none, is an example of this. The unidentified “strands of pale stuff sticking to the lips” further the feeling of abjection, as this substance is never properly identified—it could be parts of his amorphous clay-like flesh, or, if we explore the womb-like space and the process of reproduction, it could be breastmilk or semen. 

The Other World evokes abjection, as it does not respect the boundaries between bodies, as seen with Misses Forcible and Spink, with Mr. Bobo when his body becomes rats, and with the Other Father, whose skin is “tacky, like warm bread dough” (Gaiman 109), much unlike a body’s boundary is expected to be. This abject feeling is aggravated by likening the Other World to a womb, as it disturbs Coraline’s identity both as a growing child (and not a fetus) and as having come from another’s womb. However, the Other World does seem to have some kind of order to it, following Gooding’s observation of the real world of the novel (which the Other World mirrors) as rather concerned with “things being under other things” (Gooding 393). If one views the Other World as a body, then the old man upstairs is the eyes, being made up of rats, which the Other Mother “uses […] as her eyes and hands” (Gaiman 73); beneath that live Misses Spink and Forcible and the Other Mother, residing in the womb-space—Spink and Forcible especially, existing in their fetus-like state in a sac of “sticky, clinging whiteness” (100), once again evoking the abject through suspicious possibly-bodily substances; and beneath that in the cellar resides the Other Father, the only male figure in the Other World (aside from Mr. Bobo, who is made of rats, and the cat), taking the place of the genitals, as the hidden secret below. 

Furthering the notion of abjection and fluid boundaries, the idea of integration is at the core of the Other Mother’s desire for Coraline, as the cat explains: “ ‘She wants something to love, I think,’ said the cat. ‘Something that isn’t her. She might want something to eat as well. It’s hard to tell with creatures like that’ ” (Gaiman 63). For the Other Mother, to love and to consume are synonymous, as ultimately she would break down the boundaries between her body and Coraline’s and absorb her. It is impossible to say whether the Other Mother has a true stomach or a true womb, but I would argue that they would function in the same way: to hold something other than herself within her own body, and to integrate it until there is nothing remaining of its original selfhood. The result of such a process is seen in the ghost children trapped in the mirror, who warn Coraline: “She [the Other Mother] kept us, and she fed on us, until now we’ve nothing left of ourselves, only snakeskins and spider husks” (83). The ghosts are “faraway and lost” (81), unable to remember their names or even what gender they were in life, and Gooding asserts that the novel hinges on Coraline not becoming one of the ghosts by resisting integration with the Other Mother—on a more psychoanalytic level, on her “capacity to surmount an infantile desire for permanent (re)union with the mother” and resist the “regressive desire to disintegrate her subjectivity” (Gooding 397, Buckley 74). Coraline’s ultimate choice to resist integration and maintain her selfhood and identity is integral to her escape, as only she can save herself from the Other Mother: as Rudd puts it, “in order for a person to take up their place in the world, distinct from the mother figure who once provided all and everything, the maternal must be set apart” (Rudd 166).

In the end, completing the likeness to a body and a womb, Coraline’s escape from the Other World requires traversing the passage between the two worlds, which is “described […] in terms of a birth canal” (166): the wall is “warm and yielding” when Coraline touches it (Gaiman 133), and moments later is “hot and wet, as if she had put her hand in somebody’s mouth” (133). By escaping the womb through the birth canal, Coraline essentially performs her own birth, the ultimate and inevitable separation from one’s mother. Back in the real world, Coraline must still rid herself of the Other Mother’s disembodied hand, and she does so by enacting a performance, “reverting to a younger self, to one that still plays with dolls [….] affect[ing] an innocence she no longer possesses” (Rudd 167), playing at the youth that the Other World invited her to retain forever. Coraline then buries the hand in a hole; according to Freudian theory, the fear/desire of being buried alive evokes the memory of being in the womb (Gooding 403)—just as the Other Mother buried and re-buried her own mother (Gaiman 91), Coraline traps her Other Mother “down into the darkness of the well” (157), in an inescapable womb. 

Coraline explores the horror of growing older and more independent from one’s parents, and frames this horror as the threat of losing one’s subjectivity by being reintegrated into the womb. The Other World presents itself as a space where Coraline can release her anxieties of being neglected by the adults around her by accepting her place in the womb, where she never has to grow up or be separate from her mother again—and yet, as a womb, the Other World is also where unfinished, fetal creatures reside, evoking feelings of abjection in both the reader and Coraline as her identity and selfhood are threatened, and she ultimately defeats the Other Mother by performing the very youth and innocence she no longer has and trapping the hand in another womb.

Works Cited

Buckley, Chloé Germaine. “Psychoanalysis, ‘Gothic’ Children’s Literature, and the Canonization of Coraline.” Children’s Literature Association Quarterly, vol. 40, no. 1, John Hopkins University Press, 2015, pp. 58-79.

Gaiman, Neil. Coraline. Harper Collins, 2008.

Gooding, Richard. “ ‘Something Very Old and Very Slow’: Coraline, Uncanniness, and Narrative Form.” Children’s Literature Association Quarterly, vol. 33, no. 4, John Hopkins University Press, 2008, pp. 390-407.

Kristeva, Julia. “Approaching Abjection.” Powers of Horror, translated by Leon S. Roudiez, Columbia University Press, 1982, pp. 1-27.

Rudd, David. “An Eye for an I: Neil Gaiman’s Coraline and Questions of Identity.” Children’s Literature in Education, vol. 39, no. 3, Springer, 2008, pp. 159-168.

[matildaisautisticandproud]

April 8th - 30 Days of Autism Acceptance

April 8: What are some misconceptions/stereotypes about autism that you hate?

1. People with autism don’t want friends. Albeit this might be true to some, this isn’t true to all. Most autistics, I’ve found, want to have more friends, but either don’t know how to go about befriending people and/or people don’t want to spend time with them. Personally, for years, I always longed to have a friend who got me and that I could be open with. (I struggled to actually be myself around people my whole life and still do.) My roommate, Missy, is that friend now, but you don’t know how lonely it is going through grade school without a best friend.

Lots of other girls had besties and many of my friends had friends that they shared their most darkest secrets with; they were super close to each other. Since I didn’t know how to go about forming that connection and I am generally a reserved person, I never had that friend and it was painful. I wanted a best friend, but I didn’t know how to establish a strong connection, maintain it, and most people thought I was “weird” and didn’t really want to be my friend.

I don’t mean to throw my own pity party by saying this, but I was the person who others would one day make me feel on top of the world by including me, but then, would distance themselves once they were done with me and make me feel terrible. This constant cycle of inclusion and exclusion, interest and disinterest, was really damaging to younger me. It frustrated me and made me think the reason I couldn’t have a close, good friend was because there was something wrong with me. (There’s never something wrong with you (unless you’re a murderer or that of the like). It’s society who is in the wrong for tossing aside such a beautiful human being.)

2. People with autism can’t feel or express emotion. This statement is 100% false. By saying this, people are invalidating the emotions of autistics, which is never okay. It is true that many on the spectrum have the inability to recognize their own emotions and/or don’t express their emotions as “normal” people do, but we still have feelings. Just recently, I have gotten better at identifying what I’m feeling, but I’m still not adroit with it. Also, I think that I feel a lot more deeply that those not on the spectrum, as do many autistics. Because I don’t really express my emotions, I’ve had people say that I seem “emotionless” and “robotic” all throughout my life. I never did and still don’t think much of it; it’s just how I am.

I get scared, sad, furious, elated, and more. Just because I don’t express my emotions in a way you can understand doesn’t mean I don’t have them. My body language is just different. (Also, I’ve learned to internalize all my emotions and grievances so, no body really knows what’s going on in my head.)

3. All autistics are just like [insert name here]. As I’ve stated numerous times before, the nature of ASD is that no two manifestations of it are exactly the same. Two autistic people may share similar experiences and struggles, but autism still affects them at least slightly differently.

4. Autistics can’t understand the emotions of others and are apathetic. Many autistics actually experience “too” much empathy. Some are apathetic, but as are some people who aren’t on the spectrum. Everyone is susceptible to being apathetic.

5. An autistic person has only struggles; they’re just their autism. Yes, autism is a key part of every autistic’s life, but it is not the only aspect of who we are. I think people should focus more on what a child can do than what they can’t, overall. Sure, Mark may not be able to handle going to the mall due to overstimulation, but he is especially skilled in painting. People should focus less on faults and flaws. Just focusing on such things will make life drab and miserable; plus, people as a whole are more than just their struggles.

6. People can grow out of autism, and it is only present in children. I, along with many others, are proof that this is false. I dislike how the struggles of adults (with and without autism, ADHD, and other disorders) are ignored in society. Not all problems go away with adulthood; it isn’t some cure all.

7. “There wasn’t all this autism/ADHD/etc. stuff back in my day so, it can’t be real.” These disorders are very much real. Perhaps the numbers have been increasing, but maybe there has just been a decrease in ignorance and an increase in compassion and acceptance. Also, diagnosing has gotten much easier, and since there is more knowledge available (i.e. the Internet) than ever before, people can self-screen and then determine whether or not to be tested. The only reason I am diagnosed is because I took the time to research different disorders via the Internet and decided to get professionally evaluated.

8. “Autism is caused by one thing.” Whether this “thing” be vaccines, a gene mutation, bad parenting, trauma, etc., this statement has been proven false by science. When studying the cause of autism, scientists have found that in one person, one gene could be the contributor to the person’s autism while in another, it’s a combination of several genes. The cause is unknown, but bad parenting has been debunked. However, there is evidence to suggest that the presence of heavy metals within a person’s system may be a possible cause. (Numerous children with autism have been found to have high levels of heavy metals within their body.)

As for the vaccine statement, it is unknown whether or not they do or don’t cause autism. There was a study carried out with the goal of proving or disproving the claim, but since the data was skewed, the results are invalid. I don’t necessarily support the claim, but there is not enough evidence for either side of the argument for me to take a side. I am a neutral in this debate. Though, I don’t believe that one should risk the death of their child just because they’d rather not have an autistic child. We’re not that bad; several parents love having an autistic child.

9. Autism only affects the brain. Again, I and many others are living proof that this claim is false. Many people with autism have co-occurring conditions like allergies, food sensitivities, gastrointestinal disorders, and epilepsy. Personally, I have numerous food sensitivities and gastrointestinal issues. I haven’t gotten a name as to what is wrong with my digestive system, but I do know there is a problem given what I experience on a daily basis.

10. All autistics are intellectually disabled. All statements that start with “all autistics” are automatically false. Even if the claim doesn’t pertain to autism itself (i.e. a political belief), autistics, like other people, have their own sets of beliefs and their own lifestyles. We’re human just like you; all that’s different is how our brains are wired and the struggles we endure.

To combat this claim, many autistics have a normal to high IQ level and can excel in school. There are those who have lower IQs, but they still can excel. One’s potential to be great isn’t dictated by IQ or a disability (or an ability and/or advantage for that matter).

11. Autistic people are great at STEM (Science Technology Engineering Math) classes. No. Although I especially excel with math and loved Algebra and Calculus, not everyone does. Some of us are great when it comes to STEM courses, but others of us struggle. Not all of us are even remotely interested in STEM, as well. Some of us prefer the arts, labor-intensive activities (i.e. construction), et cetera. We all have our different strong suits.

12. All autistics are savants. Some are, some aren’t. Although we all have special interests, most aren’t savants, actually. I don’t know where I fall when it comes to being a savant or not, but I’m not some super-genius. I didn’t invent some new scientific thing when I was 12 nor did I make a groundbreaking discovery. I do want to do something great with my future career, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be worthy of stardom and fame or be labeled as a savant.

The one thing I dislike is how people dismiss the existence of savants because they hate the stereotype. Autistic savants do exist, as do non-autistic savants, and saying that they don’t is harmful. Stereotypes come from somewhere, right? Savants exist and they deserve representation and appreciation too.

13. Autistic people don’t have relationships and moments of intimacy. Yes, they do. I personally don’t want a relationship right now nor do I want to engage in such intimate acts, but others do.

14. Autism kills marriages. This myth was made widespread by the infamous organization Autism $peaks. Sure, it may end some marriages, but why marry someone who is autistic then? If you truly loved the person then, you would accept them, autism and all.

15. Nonverbal autistics are all intellectually disabled. Although some are, not all are. A handful are highly intelligent. Autism isn’t a one size fits all thing.

16. Autistic people can’t do anything on their own/will never be independent. Some autistics won’t be able to be independent, but not all. Others don’t need any support while some, like me, need minimal support. People with all sorts of aid requirements exist on the autism spectrum. Each of us needs differing levels of support; also, especially so if one also has a chronic illness, some days I will be able to be completely independent, but the next day I may need lots of external support.

17. Having an autistic child is a tragedy. Yes, autism does make things more challenging, but there’s a silver lining in it. Like every other child, autistics are capable of great things and have talents. If people would just look past the struggles, label, and faults then, they’ll see an amazing person who isn’t just a diagnosis, but a fully fledged human being.

18. Autistic people are just rude. On honesty, we are not trying to be rude when saying the truth. In our brains, it is something that is acceptable to say. Many of us thrive on being honest as our brains tend to rely on logic more than anything else. By pointing out the size of your nose, we’re not trying to be rude. Personally, I don’t really struggle with being too honest, but sometimes I do say things aloud that shouldn’t be said. I just think of it as uttering an observation; I have no rude intents. When I am trying to be rude, you will know XD.

On conversational difficulties, it’s not that we don’t want to talk to you, it’s that we don’t know how to continue and/or initiate conversations. Not all autistics struggle a lot when it comes to social communication, but some do. Those who do, we just don’t know how to go about conversing “as normal”. We can’t help it. We’re not being rude. I struggle to continue and start conversations, which has led to many people thinking that I don’t like them. If you want to have a proper, lengthy conversation with me then, you have to start it and be able to keep it going.

On eye contact, we don’t mean to seem rude by not looking you in the eye when talking. For me, maintaining eye contact is distracting, which means that my focus is being directed away from what you’re saying, making me not able to adequately listen to you. Some autistics have little to no problems with eye contact.

19. “You don’t have to stim. Therefore, you’re just doing it to annoy me.” For me, it takes a lot of courage for me to feel comfortable with stimming around you. So, by ridiculing me for doing something that soothes me, you’re furthering my insecurity about it and hurting me. People who stim do it to self-soothe and to regulate themselves. Would you rather I shutdown (go nonverbal), experience sensory overload, or even have a meltdown? I don’t think so. Let people stim. Some of us don’t stim, but it is a lifeline for some of us.

20. “You don’t look autistic.” Well, riddle me this: What does autism look like to you? Apparently, we have completely different views on what an autistic person looks like. For me, an autistic person is anyone (a friend, neighbor, family member, student, teacher etc.) from any walk of life of any religion, lifestyle, culture, etc. The “autism look” is the generic person to me. Is there a specific way we should look, though? Please tell me more about your vision of how an autistic person outwardly appears.

I could go on about this subject for hours, but I’ll stop myself here. If you want me to debunk more myths and/or react to certain common sayings/stereotypes then, please leave a message in my ask box. I really, really, really! want to write more about this topic.

[alexeiadrae]

I’ve seen some criticism of Hopper in season 3 of Stranger Things.Some of this criticism I agree with 100% such as

1. Hopper went off the deep end by beating the Mayor up.

2. Hopper was possessive of and insensitive to Joyce.

3. Hopper was controlling and toxic to Eleven and Mike.

I agree with all of that. 100%. What I don’t agree with is that it was out of character, though I can understand why people would see that, because in season 2 we saw Hopper at his best. But let’s go back to season 1 for a moment. Spoilers below.

In season 1 Hopper is avoiding the pain of his daughter’s death. I say avoiding because he can’t even admit that she is dead. When people ask about her, he says she is living with her mother. He even pretends that she won a spelling bee at one point. Hopper is a man who is avoiding the pain and hurt of grief.

In addition to being unable to admit that his daughter is dead. Hopper drinks, abuses pills, smokes, etc. We tend to think of substance use as a moral issue, but really substance use is about trauma. When you start exploring the history of people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol, you will invariably find trauma (they might not recognize it as trauma, if I had a penny for everything someone said “my dad would beat me black and blue but it wasn’t abuse” I would be rich, so they may not identify what happened to them as trauma and abuse, but it is). People drink/consume drugs to avoid feeling hurt and other unpleasant emotions that trauma unleashes. Hopper drinks to avoid the pain of his daughter’s death.

Further, men like Hopper tend to be raised to believe that it is okay for men to express two emotions, and two emotions only. While men feel all of the same emotions that women do, culturally, particularly in 1980s Indiana, they are only allowed to express two. Happiness and anger. Any emotion that isn’t happy gets channeled into anger. Hence why Hopper doesn’t express sadness or hurt. It either becomes anger or he numbs it with alcohol and pills. Hopper does not know how to express hurt and sadness in healthy ways. Or anger for that matter.

And we do see Hopper acting overly aggressive in season 1. He beats up a man outside of a bar to try to get him to confess about tampering with Will’s body. And he punches a security guard to get into the morgue to examine Will’s body. And, most importantly for what happens in season 3, he gets away with it in season 1.

In season 2, Hopper is doing better. He’s taking care of Eleven, and experiencing the rush of love that you feel when you are creating a parent bond with a child. He shows that he can be emotionally sensitive, which I’ve seen people point to to argue that his inability to be emotionally sensitive in season 3 was out of character. Thing is, in season 2, Hopper was happy and he was at his best. He wasn’t trying to push away and numb the pain he was feeling. People are not consistent in their abilities to relate to other people. While I am very empathetic, when I am very stressed or ill, I don’t relate to others as well because I am not in a good place emotionally. 

Further, people think of recovery from loss and trauma as linear. They tend to think that once you get to a certain point you are healed, forever. This simply isn’t true. Recovery is more like a dance, with steps forward and backwards and off to the side. And unfortunately, when people start to get better, this idea that they are healed forever can end up hurting them when things start to derail, because they weren’t expecting it and because they figure why bother trying if it’s just going to get bad again. Hopper got better in season 2, but he was not cured of the trauma of his daughter’s death. Having a new child after one has died does not make that first child come back. Eleven is not Sarah, and the pain of her loss will still be with Hopper forever. Losing your child is not something you ever recover from, it’s something you learn to live with. And Hopper’s ways of living with this are self destructive. He has not learned healthy ways to grieve. He did not learn to cope with the pain of her loss. And this came back to bite him in season 3. For awhile, his focus was on taking care of Eleven, which meant he also had to take care of himself.

But Eleven started to grow up, and as teenager do, grow away from their parents. This triggered the feelings of loss that he felt when his daughter died, as well as the hurt. But instead of being mindful of that, or the fact that Eleven has a right to grow up, he reacted with anger and control and threats. If he could control Eleven, if he could scare Mike, then he could keep Eleven with him and not lose her like he lost Sarah. And, unfortunately, this is the inevitable outcome when people run from unpleasant emotions and aren’t taught to reflect on what those emotions are trying to tell them. They lash out in hurt and anger and end up causing more hurt and anger.

Already under the grip of hurt and anger, he tries to control Joyce and damages his relationship with her in the process. And then he goes and beats up the Mayor, etc, etc, etc. Going back to season 1, he got away with beating up people then. Hopper has powerful allies now. Between his rage and the fact that he’s gotten away with beating up corrupt operatives before, it makes sense that he would beat up the Mayor. Hopper was power tripping. And given that Eleven was starting to move away from him, I also think he was back at a point of not caring what happens to him.

I’ve seen people criticize the male characters in Stranger Things for not being progressive. Yet, it doesn’t make sense for them to be progressive. It’s this rock and a hard place. While there were emotionally sensitive men in the 1980s (my dad is one of them), Hopper is more typical of the men who grew up during his time period. And, frankly, the type of men I have worked with who work in blue collar jobs (or are dealing with the loss of those jobs) in modern times. Jim Hoppers still exist in America. There are still a lot of men like Hopper, and to me they demonstrate how the patriarchy hurts men as well as women.

Basically I see Hopper as a well developed character and I see his behavior in season 3 in line with the previous two seasons. He’s not an idealistic character, he’s someone you could find at a bar in rural Indiana today, flaws and all. And, if he is alive in season 4, I hope they don’t use his death as a way to reset the harm he did to Eleven, Mike and Joyce (and whoever else) in season 3. I would like to see him make some genuine growth and to work to change his self destructive habits.

Because just like boys need models of healthy masculinity, people need models for how to break free from self destructive habits and to process emotions in a healthy manner. People need to see that you can be in a very bad place and come through to a healthy one. And that, ultimately, is what I would like for Jim Hopper.

[potterwhos]

What is Rey’s Failure?

In light of the recent discussions, some of them heated, within the fandom about the proposal scene in The Last Jedi, I wanted to ask this question: What is Rey’s failure?

I think the confusion or uncertainty around this key question is kind of the root of the discussion and why emotions can run high. Contrast with what I see as a widely-held assumption that this type of discussion is a reaction toward anti and general fandom Kylo-bashing. Though there is a bit of that as well, we are all of course human and biased.

I must add that this piece does not apply to those who were character-bashing Rey, such as in the post (probably made by an anti-Rey and/or anti-Reylo, who knows…) that sparked the latest round of this discussion. However, the differing interpretations of this scene, particularly in regards to Rey and/or Ben’s culpability, I kind of always knew would blow up in a way.

Before I answer this key question, I have to go back and ask: Does Rey even fail in The Last Jedi?

The answer many would expect is “Yes” for multiple reasons, two big ones within the film that point to this answer being true are:

1.      Because TLJ’s main theme is Failure – “The greatest teacher, failure is” – and all the central heroes, Finn, Poe, and Luke, experience an arc about learning from failure. Of course, Rey must have experienced failure too???

This meta by @starwarsnonsense explains this theme beautifully: The Last Jedi: A Beautiful and Exquisitely Emotional Film About the Lows and Highs of Failure

2.      The Skywalker legacy saber, which so easily went to the “worthy” Rey instead of Kylo in The Force Awakens, is broken in two after an intense tug-of-war between these same two characters in an obvious call back to that scene in TFA. Is Rey no longer worthy???

This meta on the Star Wars site explains the Excalibur-like qualities of the legacy saber: STUDYING SKYWALKERS: EXCALIBUR AND THE LIGHTSABER

So, yes, I believe the film leads you to believe that Rey experiences failure. However, this becomes murky during the emotional climax of the movie, the Praetorian fight sequence and particularly the Proposal Scene.

Up until this point, it is clear who the lead central character of the film is – it’s Rey. Her active decisions have driven the narrative and her emotional and inner conflicts as she learns more about the Skywalker tragedy and confronts her own tragic childhood have been the focus. Kylo’s appearances through the Force Bond have served to help Rey on this journey of discovery and self-discovery; he plays his role as her Shadow and Animus to a tee.

However, once Kylo kills Snoke to save Rey, the title for TLJ’s lead central character becomes contested. In the third act of the film, Kylo’s active choices, both heroic and villainous, start to drive the narrative and it is his internal conflict that is brought to the forefront. The second character vying for the title during the third act is not Rey; it is Luke for reasons similar to the ones stated above.

During the third act, after she escapes the Throne Room, Rey practically disappears relative to how central she was during the rest in the movie. With the exception of the Rock Lifting scene, Rey becomes a more reactionary character, similar to how she was in TFA. The abruptness of this character relapse was like whip-lash for many.

@reylo-trash-lives-here wonderfully explains here how this relapse sees Rey reverting back to hiding behind her persona.

I must point out, that I’m not saying this makes Rey’s character or characterization weak. Star Wars is more of an ensemble story than most, and Kylo and Luke kind of overtaking Rey in the third act was bound to happen, since the film leads up to it – something I’ll get back to.

So, the primary focus on Kylo Ren/Ben Solo during the third act means that it is his failure that takes central stage and gets narrative priority. Kylo’s failure being his unwillingness to reject his destructive ways and his failing to see how the preservation/creation that Rey represents is the more morally right way. I won’t say that it is the definitive right way, since as Rian Johnson has hinted at in recent interviews, destruction isn’t always 100% wrong since it can lead to rebirth, though not without creation.

But still, Kylo is only offering destruction via an organization not averse to genocide that seeks galactic domination. Rey’s rejection of his offer is not only morally right it is narratively right.

Once again, the question remerges with more fervor: What exactly does Rey fail at?

And many people’s instinct is to go to the point where it all crumbled, where it all blew up in flames – the Proposal Scene. Since it is obvious what Kylo’s failure was in the scene, many of us, myself included, find ourselves putting a magnifying glass on Rey’s reactions and actions in this scene to try to see the cracks, to see the hints of failure.

We point out her impulsiveness, her inability to bargain with Kylo, how her reaching out for the saber could have potentially triggered Kylo due to the events of Luke’s betrayal, and how her emphasis on saving the Resistance might be perceived by Kylo as her only wanting him for his power akin to Snoke and arguably Luke.

But would Rey changing any of these aspects of herself and her behavior really have resulted in Kylo rejecting his destructiveness and joining Rey in the Light? Similarly, did Kylo’s gentleness, expressed longing, and acknowledgement of Rey’s choice, elements that were absent during his TFA proposal and major reasons why she violently rejected him then, result in Rey embracing his destructive dogma and accepting his offer?

No, I think nothing would have changed because they agree on wanting to be together but fundamentally disagree on what that union will mean. You can still point out the flaws of both Rey and Kylo in this scene since they do both break each other’s hearts. However, getting rid of those flaws, particularly in Rey’s case, would not have resulted in a different outcome.

Still, because Rey is not only morally right, but also narratively right it would have to be on Ben, not Rey, to yield in this instance to be one step closer to galactic peace and balance, but more importantly his own inner peace and balance.

@greyjedireylo concisely explains how Ben hiding behind his shadow is the ultimate flaw he must overcome here.

On the other hand, @reylohasmyheart explains beautifully why Kylo’s rejection of Rey’s offer was needed for both his redemption and romantic relationship with Rey going forward:

We must first ask, why do we think the separation of Rey and Kylo is a failure to begin with? And why do we think Rey is equally to blame for it?

This is where, understandably, there is confusion. Many of us assume this because, visually, the film seems to want to tell us this by having the legacy saber split in two. It seems, the Force has found some fault in Rey, has found her less worthy than she was on Starkiller Base. Kylo now seems to be equally worthy since the saber actually answers his pull unlike in TFA.

However, I would argue that this broken saber symbolizes that the Force’s endgame is for Rey and Kylo to work together, to be together. Not necessarily in that specific moment in Snoke’s throne room, but in general. In TFA, the saber identified Rey as Ben’s equal – “It is you”. In TLJ, the saber symbolizes their broken union (and their broken hearts). I don’t think its main symbolic purpose is to symbolize failure, on either Rey or Kylo’s parts. Rather, it just symbolizes the fact they are separated and something is inherently wrong with this separation.

So there it is again, that pervasive question, then what is Rey’s failure?

Indeed all the other central heroes and villain failed: Finn, Poe, Luke, and Kylo. Some people pointed out, and both celebrated and criticized (fairly and unfairly), that TLJ seems to be about women teaching boys to become men. Does that mean Rey escaped failure because she occupies a female teacher role like Lea, Holdo, and Rose?

No, I believe Rey does fail. Though I would argue compared to Kylo’s hard failure, Rey experiences a soft failure (I’ll explain what I mean below). And this failure does not blatantly happen during one climactic scene, unlike Kylo, it subtlety takes place throughout the film.

Okay, now this is the part where you must try to forgive me. I recently read The Heroine’s Journey by Maureen Murdock and From Girl to Goddess by Valerie Frankel, both delving into the mythic structure of the Heroine’s Journey. However, I don’t have those books in my possession right now and will have to rely on memory while crudely paraphrasing some the concepts they discussed. If anyone reading this has access to these books, correct me if you find any inaccuracies.

So part of the Heroine’s Journey is Animus Development and part of that development involves the heroine identifying with the masculine. I believe this is during the second stage of animus development which is man as a man of action or a romantic man. In TLJ, Rey has two animus figures, Luke (the father figure) and Kylo (the shadow animus/animal husband).

During this stage, the Heroine is confronted by the powerful dogma of her animus. In Rey’s case, both Luke and Kylo are negative animus figures because Luke’s dogma emphasizes self-destruction and inaction, while Kylo’s dogma emphasizes self-destruction and outward destruction. However, despite these constricting dogmas, the heroine finds herself depending on her animus; she identifies too much with the masculine and shuns the feminine.

She believes that her animus knows what’s best, it is her animus that has the power to change things, and that it will be her animus that ultimately saves the day.

The heroine must overcome this over-dependence; she must acknowledge the power and strength of the feminine within her as well. She must recognize that she can be the hero of the story.

In TLJ, Rey first goes to Ach-To to try and convince Luke to once again wear the hero’s mantle. When she fails at this, she instead focuses her efforts on Ben Solo who she has convinced herself will be the Resistance’s only hope due to her failure with Luke as well as her own (as of now unacknowledged) personal desires. After Kylo rejects joining her and the Resistance, Rey finally comes to the realization that she can use her own power to become the hero (and the symbolic mother) of the Resistance which is signified when she lifts the rocks and helps the Resistance escape the caves.

@clairen45 points out the use of symbolism during the Crait battle and it is a fascinating read: Crait and Symbolism: blood, wounds, salt, foxes, the mother and the nest.

This lovely discussion started by @reylohasmyheart talks about how Rey’s unacknowledged desires may have affected the Throne Room scene.

This positive change within the heroine positively affects her animus figures. Luke regains hope and springs back into action by sacrificing himself to save the Resistance. He restores hope in the galaxy and starts the healing process of his nephew. Kylo’s positive change is hinted at in their final force bond scene where he kneels to Rey and must confront the truth that power for the sake of destruction will not bring him peace or happiness. Because of the heroine’s effect on her animus figures, it becomes more understandable that Kylo and Luke, rather than Rey, are thrust into the forefront of the narrative during the third act.

So, this means that one aspect of Rey’s failure in The Last Jedi is that she did not believe herself to be a hero.

However, this brings up more questions.

1.      Does this mean Rey seeing the light in Ben and his potential for good was wrong?

2.      Does this mean Rey ever believing Ben could be redeemed and turn to the light was wrong?

3.      Does this mean Rey ever extending compassion, understanding, and belief to Ben was a weakness that she overcame by the end of The Last Jedi when she shut the door?

4.      Does this mean that Rey’s journey in The Last Jedi was about her learning more about Ben in order to, in the end, strictly identify herself as the hero and him as the irredeemable evil villain?

Many people, not us within the Reylo fandom of course, have suggested these as the lessons Rey learns from her failure in TLJ. These conclusions are troublesome because, first, they strongly go against the themes and values presented within the Star Wars franchise.

Second, due to the subtextual journey of sexual awakening/exploration Rey goes on within TLJ, these lessons present pretty problematic conclusions on female sexuality. That it is a weakness that detracts from logical and moral thought, that its desires should not be pursued freely, that in the end, young women should listen to old men like Luke and repress their sexual desires in order to succeed.

@corseque wrote a fun and eye-opening film analysis exploring the sexual imagery utilized within The Last Jedi: a long and specific The Last Jedi meta - (spoilers)

I think being confronted with these incredibly faulty interpretations, has made some of us (it has admittedly made me) look for reasons to explain why the separation was wrong (for the general story direction this is correct, but not within the context of this movie it isn’t) and to look for what Rey did wrong that partially caused this separation.

In the end, I must argue that (even if it pains me to say this because I really enjoy my heroes being wrong in key moments, heroes that make the audience truly question their morality, Rey is not that character, not yet or maybe never…) Rey is never wrong during The Last Jedi. Yes, she is flawed, but she is never wrong. This is why I categorize Rey’s failure as a soft failure.

Her over-dependence on her animus and inability to see herself as a hero are both aspects of her failure, but due to the positive changes her experiencing and overcoming this failure has on herself and her animus figures, there is no better or more right alternative presented by the narrative. Unlike with Kylo, the better alternative presented by the narrative is to go to the Light Side, choose redemption.

So now we can finally answer: What is Rey’s Failure?

Rey’s failure is not that she ever reached out to Ben, is not that she ever believed he could be redeemed, and is not that she ever believed there was still good left in him. Rey’s failure is also not that she didn’t try to see where Ben was coming from when he proposed his fundamentally destructive offer, is not that she lacked empathy for Ben in that one crucial moment in the throne room, and is not that she didn’t try to meet him in the middle during this emotionally volatile moment for the both of them.

Rey’s true failure is believing that she could make anyone other than herself choose to be a hero.

And the lesson she learns is twofold. First, it isn’t that Ben must redeem himself completely on his own. Rey can still offer him the choice of redemption; the very fact that she did not kill him in the throne room leaves her offer open. But it must be Ben who chooses to be the hero. Second, Rey can be her own hero and therefore a hero for others.

[sopewriters]

Perturbatio.

Series: Yoongi | Hoseok | Jungkook | Jin | Jimin | Namjoon

Genre: Angst, Fluff; soulmate! AU where you can sense your soulmate’s emotions.

Pairing: Taehyung X Reader

Word Count: 3.1K

WARNING: This fic details a psychological condition. It is not meant to romanticize it in any form, though if some details are wrong, please let me know. It was hard to fit it into such a short fic, but I did my best.

If autism of any form makes you uncomfortable, do not proceed.

You glance at your wrist, as though waiting for a sign. Nothing changes—it’s still colored a deep blue, like the ocean, or like the sky on a rainy day. Sighing, you wonder how long it’ll take, despite knowing that your soulmate, whoever and wherever they are, would be able to sense it.

You’ve known, for a long time, that the whole thing about soulmates and their intertwined destinies is real, 100% authentic. And, while others doubted it at first, during middle school, you were the first one to rise in its defense. Everyone used to joke about how you’d be the first to find them and, looking back on it, you desperately wish it were so.

Because, right now, it doesn’t look that way at all.

Everyone’s begun to find your soulmate, and you haven’t even felt the slightest emotion from them; not the happiness, nor the anger, nor the sadness. You’re growing increasingly desperate, but everyone you’ve spoken to says that you’ve got to give it time—that it’ll come to you eventually.

Yeah, right. At the rate you’re going, you’re probably going to grow old and withered when you meet them. Or maybe, you won’t ever meet them at all. It’s equally plausible.

You sigh, taking out your phone as you stare absently out the window. Your date’s running late, was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago. Talk about great first impressions: you never wanted this stupid blind date to happen, but it sucks being stood up anyway.

“Do you… do you want to order something else?” A waiter comes up to your table hesitantly, offering you a wane smile, “Anything to go?”

“I guess.” You sigh sadly, glancing at your phone screen again, “I’ll have some pistachio, coffee and almond macarons please? And a slice of chocolate cake would be nice too, thank you.”

“No problem.” He smiles, and you absolutely hate that you can detect the pity practically reverberating in his tone. You decide, then, that you’re going to kill your friend for setting you up to this.

“Sorry I’m late!” A loud voice calls, and you hardly have the time to look up when a brunette slides into the seat across from yours, “Traffic was really bad.”

You look closely at him, eyebrows furrowing as you realize that this is not the guy whose picture you’ve got on your phone. In fact, you’ve never even seen this person before.

“Who’re you?” You dare to ask, raising a tentative eyebrow.

“My name’s Taehyung, nice to meet you.” He introduces, well, recites, really, smiling wide—interesting, he has a boxy grin—before stretching out his hand, “What’s yours?”

“Y/N.” It slips out of your mouth before your brain can actually filter it, and you curse yourself, “Uh, nice to meet you, stranger?”

And then you take his hand.

Taehyung’s eyes widen, as what can’t be described as anything other than warmth seeps up your conjoined hands, travelling up your arm and sending tingles down your spine. You chance a slow glance at the inside of your wrist where—no way— your mark has turned a pretty, pale pink.

“Y-You’re…” Taehyung’s eyes don’t leave yours as he fumbles uselessly for words, “You’re m-my—”

“Soulmate.” You say the damning word, mind whirring to life, “How is this… how is this possible?”

“I don’t know.” He says honestly, and your mind’s scrambled as you struggle to understand how this is happening, “What… what’re you feeling, right now?”

“What?” You ask stupidly, before your eyes widen, “Wait, you mean… you can’t sense what I’m feeling either?”

“No, I think I can.” His brow furrows, and he looks genuinely confused—join the club—as he lets go of your hand, “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?!” You keep your voice low, hands shaking as you slide them into your pockets, out of sight, “How can you not know what I’m feeling?!”

“I…” His mouth parts and, really, it’s unfair he’s so gorgeous, “I don’t know.”

Your brain hurts, right now. You don’t understand, and you need time to figure out what the hell he’s saying. You’ve never hated the phrase ‘I don’t know’ as much as you do at this very moment.

“You know what,” You say, holding out your hand, “Give me your phone.”

He does without question, which is confusing in itself.

“Here you go.” You quickly add your number, and hand it back to him, “We need time to process this, so for now, let’s just go home, yeah? You can call me or something if you want to talk.”

“How do I know when I’ve ‘processed’?” He seems genuinely confused, and really, you want to rip your hair out.

“Are you kidding me?!” You hiss, making him stare at you, deadpan, “You just know, okay?!”

“Why are you shouting?” He questions, looking paler, though his hand drifts to his chest, “It’s weird, I don’t know.”

“I can’t deal with this right now.” You run a hand through your hair, getting up, “Give me a missed call so I have your number. I’m going home. Bye.”

You storm out of the store after grabbing your order from the perturbed waiter, leaving only the tinkling chime of bells in your wake.

  You manage to get through the day, somehow. Thoughts of that man—your soulmate—continue to plague you, though, and you can’t help but feel uneasy, like there’s something wrong. Is it your bond, maybe? Has it not formed properly?

You remember reading somewhere that it has happened before, soulmates not being able to feel each other, but it’s incredibly rare. And, for some reason, it doesn’t seem right.

Your mind conjures up the image from before, Taehyung’s strange facial contortion, the light press of his hand against his chest. As though… as though he doesn’t know what he’s feeling. Like… like…

You grab your laptop, quickly typing ‘can’t find emotions’ into the search bar, scrolling past the search results until you stop at one.

Your breath catches in your throat.

 Alexithymia /ˌeɪlɛksəˈθaɪmiə/ is a personality construct characterized by the subclinical inability to identify and describe emotions in the self; inability to identify and express or describe one's feelings.

You quickly search the term again, opening up a web page and feeling decidedly sick when you read through it.

 …frequently characterized with phrases such as ‘I don’t know’ when prompted to speak about their feelings…

…cannot usually determine what others are experiencing or feeling…

…while they can feel, they cannot process…

 “Oh no.” You hold a shaking hand to your mouth, eyes starting to brim with tears, “No, no, no…”

There’s got to be something wrong. There’s no way… Taehyung can’t—no, your soulmate—can’t possibly be like this, there’s no way, it’s not possible and—

You remember his vacant eyes, asking you what you were feeling. Why you were shouting. The way he practically recited his name, smiling so wide it could only be fake.

Your fingers tremble as you reach for your phone, and shakily type in a message. You need to fix this, because you know you’ve majorly messed up.

 To: Taehyung

We need to meet.

 As you wait for his answer, you decide to read through more of these articles. Your vision gets blurry as you read more and more—your eyes begin to burn—but you don’t stop, needing to know everything you possibly can about this. Needing to be able to help.

It’s striking, for you, that Taehyung actually came to try and help you out, an admirable thought for someone who… who can’t feel? No, he can feel, he just can’t tell. Can’t understand what he’s feeling.

It’s like having a lock on your tongue, you decide. It’s unbelievably crude, probably nowhere close to describing it, but you don’t know how else to. How else you’re supposed to make yourself feel better about this.

You’ve found your soulmate, but you don’t feel the giddiness that everyone else usually does. In fact, your chest feels decidedly empty.

 From: Taehyung

Okay. Time and place?

  You steeply your fingers as you wait anxiously at the park bench in front of the large tree in your community park. Surprisingly, Taehyung agrees to meet and you can’t help the small curl of shame that lodges in your throat as you remember how you just snapped at him. In your defense, you didn’t know but still…

Your breath catches when you realize you’re doing the one thing you absolutely hate. You can’t pity him. That’s not fair, it’s not allowed, and you’re being an absolutely shitty person.

You’re scrolling through your phone when Taehyung comes, looking decidedly pale.

“Hey.” You say, unable to help the emotion choking your throat when Taehyung gives you another fake smile.

“Hi!” The fake cheer in his voice makes you sick, and he looks even paler than before, hand pressing into his stomach. You wonder why, briefly, before a horrified realization dawns over you and you try to level yourself, try to calm yourself down.

“Taehyung.” You say after a few beats, as the man looks innocently at you; you force the next few words out of your mouth, unconsciously praying for them to be wrong, false, “I know about your condition.”

His eyes widen, and you continue, even though it hurts, “You… you can’t recognize your emotions, can you?”

It doesn’t sound accusatory, and you can’t help the pain that rockets through you when you see him drop his gaze in defeat, when you see him nod. When he looks up again, you see tears trailing down his cheeks, drying into faint tracks in the chilly air.

“Why…” He holds his hands to his cheeks, almost clinically wiping the wetness off, “Why am I crying?”

“Because I’m sad.” You say truthfully, “And I think… I think you might be sad too.”

“No.” He denies, before his expression crumbles into uncertainty, “Actually, I… I don’t know.”

“It’s okay.” You promise, taking a hold of his hand, evidently surprising him, “It’s okay to not know, Taehyung.”

Something strange flickers over his delicate features—an angry flush tinting his cheeks—before he roughly wrings his hand from your grip, and you can’t help the tiny burst of hurt when he looks away.

“Why are we meeting?” He calmly continues to wipe at his eyes while you do the same, albeit more messily, “You know that I’m broken, so why are you still talking to me?”

“You’re not broken!” You say indignantly, before his sentence fully registers in your mind, and you take a deep breath before continuing, “You’re fine. And you’re my soulmate. Shouldn’t I get to talk to the supposed love of my life?”

He cracks a grin at that, before it leaves just as abruptly as it comes. You miss it already, the genuine warmth from the stretch of his lips.

“I don’t know why I did that.” He confesses, pressing his hands to his cheeks, “Anyway, I already go to group therapy and stuff for this, you don’t need to talk to me about it.”

“I hope you smiled because you felt happy.” You say, cheeks flushing as his eyes roam over your features, “And I’m glad you’re doing that, but I want to talk about it because I want to get to know you better, Taehyung. Wait, can I call you Tae instead? It’s less of a mouthful.”

“I guess.” His mouth twists in confusion, fingers tangling with each other distractingly, “People tell me that I tend to forget them for long times though.”

“What do you mean Tae?” You like the way it rolls off your tongue, and you scoop his hands into yours.

“I have to keep reminding myself about my friends.” He takes out his phone, opening the Notes app to show you pictures of some other males, presumably his friends, with their names under the pictures, “Otherwise I just… I just forget.”

“Oh.” You frown, not remembering reading about that detail, before shrugging it off, “Wait, give me a sec.”

You pluck the phone from his loose fingers, and quickly open the camera app. He stares at you, probably perplexed, though he gives no indication of it. When you hand it back to him, though, you see his eyes widen.

“So you don’t forget me.” You smile as widely as you can, “I even tried my hardest for this picture, appreciate me!”

“Um, thank you?” He ventures, and your smile grows softer as you nod, “Y/N.”

“What?” You ask curiously.

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, expression pinching, “I just don’t want to forget your name.”

“Well, look at this every day, and you won’t.” You promise.

He gives you a hesitant nod, and the two of you part ways from there.

  Your hands are linked, soulmarks pressed together, as the two of you enter the café where you first met. Thinking back on it, you wryly decide you’re glad your actual date didn’t show. You’re also glad Taehyung actually sat down from across you, even though he probably didn’t have a reason to.

As you sit, you see a man and a woman arguing quietly in the corner of the room. The woman’s eyebrows are furrowed, and the man’s mouth is pressed into a thin line; it looks like they’re barely tolerating each other. It’s none of your business though, you decide, as you look through the menu.

“What do you want, Tae?” You prompt, making his quirk his head to the side—you can’t stop the tiny coo that escapes your lips at the cute image that’s just so Taehyung it hurts, “I think I’m getting some juice for today. You liked the hot chocolate last time, d’you want to get that again?”

“Okay.” He nods, and you flash a quick grin at him as you get up to head to the line.

You order quickly enough, fingers tapping the counter absently as you wait for your orders to be prepared. You chance a quick glance at Taehyung, smiling assuredly when he meets your eyes. It’s only a couple of minutes: then you can leave.

That’s when it happens: the woman from before stands up, slamming her hands onto the table with a loud thump.

“You’re fucking insufferable!” She practically screams, making the man’s face redden, “I can’t have a single conversation with you without wanting to rip my hair out, can I?!”

“Shut up!” He yells back, getting up and welp, time to get your order, “You’re such a fucking bitch!”

When you get to your table, though, you see Taehyung clutching the table like his life depends on it, white-knuckled. His cheeks are pale, like the color’s been drawn from them, and his breathing is kind of shaky.

“Taehyung…” You furrow your brows, before panic starts to settle into your skin; it makes Taehyung look paler than before, and you shake your head, deciding the two of you need to get the hell out of here, “Hurry, get up. We need to leave.”

He doesn’t protest, much to your surprise, immediately standing up and hugging his jacket close to himself as he rushes outside. You follow him quickly, panic dying as the two of you walk away till you reach an abandoned bench.

“Sit down.” He does as you ask, and you gently press the cup of hot chocolate into his cold fingers, knowing something’s wrong, “What happened?”

“They were yelling.” He whispers, grip on his cup growing tighter and you could hit yourself, really, “At me?”

“No, not at you.” You reassure him, pressing a fleeting kiss to the crown of his head, “They were mad at each other, Tae, not you, never you.”

“Oh.” He doesn’t look any better, though he does take a sip of his drink, “I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay.” You press another kiss to his hair, before sprawling beside him on the bench, “The next time you’re like this, tell me, okay?”

“I’ll try.” He says hesitantly, and the two of you drink in silence.

  “What is this?” He asks, not smiling like he usually does, when you hand him a giant color-coded wheel, “Y/N…”

“You don’t understand?” You prompt gently, and he gives you a half-confused nod, “Well, it’s an emotion wheel!”

“An emotion… wheel.” He parrots uncomprehendingly.

“Yep!” You grin cheerfully, burrowing into his side, “It would make me really happy if you would use this, Tae.”

“What do I do with it?”

“You kind of try and figure out how you’re feeling with it.” You explain patiently, as he nods, “See the center? You start from there, and kind of work your way out.”

“Okay.” He says, and that’s that.

  You open the door, a couple of days later, to see Taehyung outside, brow furrowed.

“I think I’m feeling confused.” He says without preamble, but you’re actually thrilled at what he’s said that you don’t even mind the lack of greeting.

“Why do you feel that?” You ask hopefully, as he steps inside, taking his shoes off.

“One of my friends yelled at me.” He says in a small voice, and your heart crumbles, “Said he was angry but I don’t know why.”

“Oh, Tae.” You sigh, tugging him to the couch so that he can cuddle against you, feel your warmth, “Did he say he needed time?”

“Yeah.” Taehyung sounds surprised, “How did you know?”

“Gut feeling.” You smile wryly, “Don’t worry, it’ll turn out alright.”

He shrugs.

“Are you alright?” You ask, and you see his face shift, miniscule worry becoming enhanced, “Tae?”

He shrugs again, eyes looking decidedly teary.

“You look like you’re going to cry.” You say gently, biting back your own tears at his lost expression, “Are you feeling sad?”

“I don’t know.” His voice hitches, and you immediately draw him into a hug, grateful when he hugs you back. You remember the first time, when he just stood there, rigid.

“It’s alright.” You reassure, “I love you too, Tae.”

He doesn’t even react, though you can feel his lips at your neck, stretched into a tiny grin.

“Why?” His voice cracks, “Why?”

“You hugged me back.” You say softly, “That makes me happy. And when you make me happy, I know you’re saying you love me.”

“Oh.” He murmurs, and all is quiet. This is probably the first time you’ve said those words and, to be honest, you don’t regret it. You really do love him, and you do know he loves you too, even if he doesn’t say so, “I’ll hug you all the time then.”

But then again, he doesn’t have to.

Written By: Midnight

NOTE: I used the following links while researching alexithymia, in case any of you would like to read up on it:

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20150818-what-is-it-like-to-have-never-felt-an-emotion

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/mind-guest-blog/the-emotional-blindness-of-alexithymia/

https://www.disabled-world.com/health/neurology/alexithymia.php

https://musingsofanaspie.com/2013/01/31/emotional-dysfunction-alexithymia-and-asd/

[athenabehavioralhealth]

What is an Addictive Personality?

Addictive personality is when an individual is addicted to something. It is often interlinked with substance abuse and behavioral compulsion. This can compel an individual to develop utmost passion for something that can emerge as an outrageous obsession or fixation.

However, the underlying reason for getting carried away and over-indulging in a compulsive behavior can have a connection to certain mental health problems such as depression, anxiety and poor impulse control. Some of these behaviors can be an attempt to assuage the overwhelming emotional pain or exhaustion.

Although there is a long-standing debate about people having addictive personality that they are prone to greater risk of addiction, there is no evidence established till date supporting this hypothesis. Experts believe, apart from personality traits, many other factors also contribute towards addiction.

What are the personality traits that can be identified as signs of an addictive personality?

There is no standard definition that can explain the characteristics of an addictive personality because addiction is a complex health issue. It can be a complex collection of behavior and traits for people, who are at greater risk for addiction.  

Some of the common traits of an addictive personality are:

Excessive eating or binge eating

Adopting excessively risky behavior

Not able to control impulse

Thrill seeking behavior

Gambling

Manipulating people and indulging in dishonesty to satisfy own impulse

Not able to take responsibility

Low self-esteem

Becoming self-centered

Lack of goals in life due to loss of focus

Irritability and mood swings

Social isolation

Inability to maintain healthy relationship with family, friends, or colleagues

Using alcohol to relax or numb emotions

Over indulgence in social media

Engaging in sexually risky behavior

Developing an obsessive-compulsive behavior to shop and hoard things or objects irrationally

Swerving towards substance abuse to cope with overwhelming emotions

Lack of satisfaction in general

Showing compulsive habit of substance abuse and alcohol addiction

Inability to refrain from addiction and substance abuse despite knowing its adverse health effects

Inability to control impulsive and adverse behavior

Is addictive personality linked to genetics?

Research suggests that people born to parents who have exhibited addictive personality or had history of substance abuse are more likely to develop addictive traits. Additionally, people with family history of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder are more susceptible to develop addictive personality. However, genetic is not the only factor responsible for developing addiction.

What are the factors responsible for addictive personality?

Childhood experiences:

Childhood trauma such as experiencing violence, emotional or sexual abuse can trigger an addictive personality in early adulthood. The children who had neglectful childhood or an indifferent family, exhibit a higher risk for substance abuse.

Environmental factors:

People usually begin using alcohol or drug under the influence of people in their environment. Easy access to alcohol in the neighborhood, school or college increases the risk of alcohol addiction.

Grappling with underlying mental disorder:

People enduring mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar disorder and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are often subjected to substance abuse including alcohol addiction to numb the emotional pain. But eventually the addiction takes a concrete form in their lives adding risk for co-occurring disorder.

Addictive personality and inability to control impulse:

An addictive personality seeks constant stimulation in life making him/her restless and always looking for excitement. They behave in an irrational way and their decision making capacity is heavily impacted. Their poor impulse control drives them to adopt new compulsive behavioral traits that eventually trigger addiction.

There is a crucial difference between addiction and compulsion. However, the underlying problem might share the same ground. A person having addiction tries to find pleasure to make up for the void inside. An addicted person who feeds his/her craving with the addictive substance is rewarded by the neurotransmitter dopamine (which makes a person feel pleasure). When the person starts chasing the feeling of pleasure addiction takes a concrete form.

How to recognize signs of addiction?

People get driven towards substance abuse to overcome their stressful situation, but they eventually develop tolerance for the substance. It’s important to recognize the signs of addiction at the earliest, which include:

Continuous use of the substance irrespective of its negative effects

Experiencing withdrawal symptoms, while trying to refrain from the substance

Developing tolerance for the substance and gradual increase in intake

Lack of interest in daily activities

Decrease in productivity at home and workplace

Self isolation, isolating self from social gathering or family

How to help someone dealing with addiction?

People struggling with addiction find it difficult to speak about it to their near and dear ones. Moreover, they lie to themselves and refuse to accept that their addiction has already taken a concrete state. Therefore, to help your loved ones it is important to gain knowledge about substance abuse and the problems associated with it. We should encourage our loved ones to seek professional help immediately. We should show our support and stay involved in the entire treatment process. Last but not the least, we should avoid judging our loved ones and rather focus on helping them to deal with the situation and substance use disorder.

Get help today

Battling with addiction and substance abuse can be very overwhelming not only for the addicted person but also for the entire family. One should immediately scout for a treatment center for addiction to ensure long-term recovery.

Athena behavioral health is a top-notch de-addiction canter in India. Our treatment programs for addressing addiction include medical detox and our de addiction centers are among the best in India. We treat all types of mental health disorder and addiction problems. Our treatment plans include outpatient care and customized treatment programs that ensure 100 percent recovery. To know more about our treatment programs and facilities call us today at our toll-free number 18008909897.

[neuroticevolution]

Post-Election and COVID Pandemic Anxiety: 7 Ways to Care for Your Mental Health

Post-election anxiety can be particularly difficult for people when the candidate they supported doesn’t win. In fact, they may face even more strain on their mental health if they live in a state that supported their candidate.

Additionally, the more the candidate loses by, the greater the number of days of stress and depression for residents in those states.

According to a study led by the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) and Duke University, researchers analyzed data from nearly 500,000 adults, looking at mental health indicators during the 2016 general election.

They found that people who lived in states with a Hillary Clinton majority experienced on average an additional half-day of poor mental health in the month following election (December) compared with the month before (October).

Brandon Yan, UCSF medical student and health policy researcher, says the findings indicate that elections could impact public mental health, and election-related stress should be monitored.

“Our findings from the 2016 election suggest that voters of the candidate who loses, especially if this candidate lost unexpectedly, are most at risk for worsening of mental health. The climate in 2020 is also further polarized than in 2016, which could contribute to people’s response to an election outcome,” Yan told Healthline.

In fact, a survey conducted by The Harris Poll on behalf of the American Psychological Association (APA) reported that 68 percent of adults in the United States said that the 2020 election is a significant source of stress in their lives. Only 52 percent said the same about the 2016 election.

The COVID-19 pandemic further intensifies our anxiety and emotions

President Donald Trump’s and President-elect Joe Biden’s attitudes toward the pandemic may be adding to the stress and polarization voters feel.

“The COVID-19 pandemic has increased social isolation and further polarized our country politically, which likely affects how people respond to the outcome of the 2020 election,” explained Yan.

“One of the most stark differences between the two presidential candidates was their differing approaches to the pandemic, so for that reason alone, one would expect the pandemic to play a part in people’s reaction to the election.”

Dr. Leela R. Magavi, psychiatrist and regional medical director for Community Psychiatry, evaluates and treats individuals of all ages. She says she sees this firsthand in her patients.

“Some children and adults have lost their grandparents and loved ones due to COVID-19. Additionally, many adolescents are struggling with the loss of symbolic milestones and feel deeply saddened by the inability to walk for their graduation or attend prom,” Magavi told Healthline.

She believes that her patients have been directly impacted by the political climate and that many Americans will fare poorly with regard to emotional and physical health due to the 2020 election results.

“This week alone, I have evaluated children and adults who have expressed that they have been experiencing insomnia, irritability, appetite changes, and panic attacks due to anticipatory anxiety about the outcomes. I can only imagine what will occur if their preferred candidate is not elected,” Magavi said.

Her patients have expressed anxiety about the future of the country and believe the election process has caused their heart rate to increase and stress levels to elevate. Some of her adult patients have experienced anger, anxiety, and sadness due to the election and are binge eating and unable to fall asleep.

Inger Burnett-Zeigler, PhD, clinical psychologist and associate professor at Northwestern University, says healthcare, the economy, employment, immigration, and police violence are significant sources of stress that have the potential to negatively impact mental health this election cycle.

“These issues disproportionately impact racial/ethnic minorities, and people with lower income, who are already more vulnerable to stress, anxiety, depression and trauma. For some, if the election does not go their way, it can lead to feelings of hopelessness about the future,” Burnett-Zeigler told Healthline.

In addition to particular issues, feeling disappointment from a candidate losing may play a part in mental health, especially if people expected the candidate they support to win.

“Our study suggests that unexpected losses may drive mental health worsening because there is an incongruence between expectation and reality. In addition, studies from behavioral economics suggest that losses are felt more heavily than victories,” said Yan.

To deal with disappointment and stress related to your candidate losing the election, consider the following seven tips.

1. Stay connected

Communicating with those closest to you can help with navigating stress. If you feel like you can’t connect with friends and family about the election results, reach out to your doctor.

“Remember that your healthcare providers can be a valuable resource for support and referral to specialists who could help with election-related stress,” said Yan.

If you know someone struggling, reach out to them.

“Elections matter for health. Let’s recognize that and respond as a nation in a way that supports each other’s well-being and brings our communities closer,” Yan said.

2. Write down your thoughts

Putting your thoughts and emotions on paper can help express what you’re feeling when you’re struggling to do so verbally.

“Journaling about the situation and brainstorming solutions by drawing, using diagrams, or speaking to mentors and family members allows individuals to remain goal-directed when emotional,” said Magavi.

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3. Pay attention to your body and mind

If you’re experiencing physical symptoms often associated with stress, such as headaches, stomachaches, fatigue, or sleeplessness, Magavi says you can break down your emotions into what’s experienced mentally versus physically.

“[This] helps children and adults identify when they are mad or sad when their emotions manifest as somatic symptoms, such as abdominal pain,” she said.

4. Embrace what’s in your control

While who becomes the president is out of your control, Magavi says creating a list of things in your control and techniques to live your life in a manner that aligns with your values and beliefs can help.

“Revisiting this list and partaking in mindfulness activities when rumination knocks at the door may alleviate individuals’ anxiety during this unpredictable and tumultuous year,” she said.

5. Limit news

News stations and social media will cover the winning candidate in abundance following the election.

“Resist the urge to obsessively watch the news or check social media. Designate specific times to check,” said Burnett-Zeigler.

She suggests balancing checking the news with other activities that help you to cope with stress, such as listening to podcasts, watching movies, reading, and exercising.

6. Parent with empathy

For parents of children aware of the 2020 election, knowing how to talk to them about the tension in the country can help reduce stress. Magavi suggests having open conversations with your children.

“[Explain] that open conversation is healthy, and this does not have to result in anyone changing their belief system or political affiliation. The most important thing is that conversations prioritize empathy and compassion,” said Magavi.

She recommends asking your kids open-ended questions and encouraging them to do the same with you.

“I have evaluated some families where the mother and father have opposing political beliefs, or parents and children have completely disparate political affiliation. It is of utmost importance to explain to children that they have the right to have their own beliefs and find their own voice as long as they are respecting others,” Magavi said.

7. Move on

If your candidate of choice loses, let yourself be disappointed for a brief amount of time and then move on.

“Try not to catastrophize or ruminate on bad outcomes,” said Burnett-Zeigler.

One way to do this is to remember that government has checks and balances and that presidents are only in office for a limited amount of time.

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/post-election-anxiety-7-ways-to-care-for-your-mental-health

[hughshannon1994]

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Read Ejaculation By Command

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Does Tramadol Cure Premature Ejaculation

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[silvokrent]

Beacon Curriculum - Grimm Studies (GRM) Courses

GRM 100 – Introduction to Grimm Studies

Course Description: Introduction to Grimm Studies offers a general overview of the Creatures of Grimm, and attempts to answer fundamental questions pertaining to their existence and their relationship with humanity and Faunuskind. Lectures will familiarize students with a set of defining characteristics shared by all Grimm. In addition to presenting the most scientifically accurate and up-to-date models regarding their diversity, behavior, physiology, and geographic range, this course will also introduce students to theoretical concepts and ongoing debates within the academic community. Upon completion of this course, students are expected to: identify interspecific phenotypic characteristics, such as body pigmentation, ossified protrusions, and red venational patterns; explain how their inability to activate Dust through Aura confirms the absence of soul, and how it makes them uniquely vulnerable to Dust; describe how Grimm are drawn to sources of negativity and anything regarded as a byproduct/evidence of human innovation; give examples of how Grimm predation on people has shaped kingdom border defense; list the universally-shared vulnerabilities of the Grimm, and what battlefield tactics can be used to exploit them; and describe the earliest known examples of Grimm-killing professions within ancient communities, and how these roles eventually developed into the modern-day template for Huntsmen.

Instructor: Prof. Peter Port Course Prerequisites: None Entry Level: This course is available to First Year students. Course Requirement: This is a compulsory class required for graduation from Beacon Academy.

GRM 105 – Grimm in Antiquity

Course Description: This class examines Grimm from a historical perspective, and delves into both factual accounts that predate the four kingdoms, and mythological portrayals of Grimm. Part of the semester will focus on various proposed origins for the Grimm, including: supernatural origins (as the spirits of tortured animals, supported by some species’ superficial resemblances to extant organisms), theological origins (as harbingers of death, as psychopomps, or as physical manifestations of a necessary symmetry between light and darkness), cryptozoological origins (as a primordial species whose biology predates anything currently found in nature), and synthetic origins (as engineered constructs created by some unknown ancient society). Time will be spent on analyzing patterns and fluctuations in Grimm population size during certain epochs. Upon completion of this course, students are expected to: explain how the widespread presence of Grimm across Remnant’s oceans and continents severely limits colonization; name the religions that deified Grimm, and describe the sacrificial practices that people used to worship them; identify periods in history when Grimm numbers spiked or waned, and correlate it with human and Faunus activity; provide the names of famous warriors, philosophers, and scientists that contributed to our current understanding of Grimm; and describe the influence that Grimm have had on the cultures and lifestyles of the four kingdoms.

Instructor: Prof. Avery Loch Course Prerequisites: None Entry Level: This course is available to First Year students. Course Requirement: This is an elective class not required for graduation from Beacon Academy.

GRM 110 – Grimm Physiology I

Course Description: Grimm Physiology I analyzes the biophysiological adaptations of the Grimm, their lifespan, and the process of decomposition unique to them. Given the inconclusive nature of Grimm-related studies, a percentage of the class material will be conjectural, and instead aim to present students with the most plausible explanations for certain characteristics. Topics of discussion will include: the requirements for their metabolic demands, and whether or not Grimm kill because they’re compelled to obey some incomprehensible instinct, or because the mere act of killing is a form of sustenance for them; the parallels between longevity and size, and how indefinite growth alludes to a pseudo-immortality (barring life-threatening injuries from encounters with Huntsmen); the damage threshold a Grimm has that grants it imperviousness to mortal blows, synonymous with a Huntsman’s Aura depletion during combat; the dissolution of the corporeal form into a vaporous substance when slain, that makes autopsies impossible; and the state of dormancy analogous to torpor, observed in Grimm found in isolated (often subterranean) environments. A list of combative adaptations will be reviewed as well, including but not limited to bioluminescence, ranged projectiles, electrogenesis, envenomation, autothysis, strangulation, and inanimate possession.

Instructor: Prof. Cressida Theria Course Prerequisites: GRM 100 Entry Level: This course is available to First Year students. Course Requirement: This is a compulsory class required for graduation from Beacon Academy.

GRM 111 – Grimm Physiology II

Course Description: Grimm Physiology II delves into the controversial study of Grimm psychology and ethology on a micro (individual) and macro (aggregated) level. Emphasis will be placed on an analysis of context-specific behavior, and how population dynamics are influenced by the presence (reactive) or absence (autonomous) of people. The theory of cognitive metamorphosis will provide the foundation for coursework, via demonstrations of how a Grimm’s mind adaptively evolves from rudimentary instinct to active thinking. Upon completion of this course, students are expected to: give examples of how Grimm prioritize threats during combat; describe what types of signals Grimm look for in Huntsmen to gauge their threat level or weaknesses; contrast the fighting tactics of younger and older Grimm, with a focus on the recklessness of youth being replaced by methodical caution; give historical examples of Grimm that managed to escape captivity by exploiting flaws in their enclosures, or by tricking their captors; discuss forms of Grimm tool-usage; explain how Grimm compartmentalize and delegate tasks within a group; analyze the age-based hierarchy within Grimm social structures, and how labor is distributed according to well-suited skillsets of pack members; discuss whether or not sufficient proof exists that Grimm learn through communication and social inheritance of knowledge; and debate the existence of emotional intelligence within older Grimm, based on evidence of Grimm holding grudges or taking trophies from their victims.

Instructor: Prof. Cressida Theria Course Prerequisites: GRM 110 Entry Level: This course is available to Second Year students. Course Requirement: This is a compulsory class required for graduation from Beacon Academy.

GRM 120 – Habitation and Congregation

Course Description: An assessment of population dispersal, and the factors that contribute to Grimm movement and territoriality. This class will evaluate what environmental conditions are ideal for Grimm congregation, and whether or not certain risk factors can be actively mitigated by settlers. Over the course of the semester, students will be taught how to recognize olfactory, visual, and auditory “sign-posts” demarcating a Grimm’s territory. Topics found in this course can serve as supplementary material for ANT 151, particularly theories that deal with psychometric imprints or so-called “locational memories.” Upon completion of this course, students are expected to: describe the role that geophysical barriers (mountains, volcanoes, shallow bodies of water, deserts) and climate (inclement weather, extreme temperatures) have in inhibiting Grimm expansion; differentiate between sedentary, nomadic, and migratory behavior; assess Grimm population density across the continents and highlight areas where numbers have historically trended high; relate the concepts of territoriality and kingdom-border patrolling with the Grimms’ opportunistic nature; describe how largescale tragedies create psychometric imprints on an area, that are able to persist for years and draw in Grimm due to residual negative energies; speculate on the relationship between locational memories and the Grimms’ extrasensory perception of emotions; and provide examples of places in Remnant that exhibit the psychometric imprint phenomenon (such as Mountain Glenn).

Instructor: Prof. Cressida Theria Course Prerequisites: GRM 100 Entry Level: This course is available to Second Year students. Course Requirement: This is a compulsory class required for graduation from Beacon Academy.

GRM 200 – Species Identification I

Course Description: This class aims to familiarize students with the most common species of Grimm, and which regions each is endemic to. Using census data collected over the last fifty years, Grimm species will be studied according to the statistical probability of a Huntsman encountering each in the wild. Class discussions will be held on why certain Grimm crop up more frequently than others, and what battle strategies exist that are the most applicable across a wide number of species. Lecture periods may also be spent discussing cases where certain Grimm species went undocumented for decades, and were declared extinct due to there being no evidence of any surviving conspecifics, only for them to resurface years later. These cases will be tied back to Grimm evolution and repopulation theories, concerning the possible atypical means through which a species facilitates its existence, asexually or otherwise. Time will be left at the end of the course for students to debate the potential futility of Huntsmen that dedicate their careers to eradicating entire Grimm species.  

Instructor: Prof. Avery Loch Course Prerequisites: GRM 100 Entry Level: This course is available to First Year students. Course Requirement: This is a compulsory class required for graduation from Beacon Academy.

GRM 201 – Species Identification II

Course Description: A continuation of GRM 200, with a focus on rare, “extinct,” and hypothetical Grimm, in addition to concepts such as polymorphism and subspecies. Upon completion of this course, students are expected to: list the characteristics of Grimm variants, such as Alpha Beowolves, Ursai Major/Minor, and Lancer Drones/Queens; explain how environmental demands and selection pressures have shaped the adaptations of subspecies across different biomes; and name species of Grimm that are functionally extinct, and where the last recorded sightings of them took place. This course will also delve into the study of speculative Grimm species, whose existences are based on historical testimonies in the forms of ancient texts, art from primitive societies, and other anthropological depictions.

Instructor: Prof. Avery Loch Course Prerequisites: GRM 200 Entry Level: This course is available to Second Year students. Course Requirement: This is an elective class not required for graduation from Beacon Academy.

GRM 210 – Mental and Emotional Health

Course Description: Mental and Emotional Health focuses on the importance of self-care when in the presence of Grimm. Because Grimm are drawn to negative emotions, it is imperative that Huntsmen learn how to maintain composure in order to avoid summoning additional Grimm—or worse still, provoke nearby Grimm into a state analogous to a feeding frenzy. Students will be taught a range of self-disciplinary techniques, from meditation, to stimming, to other short-term coping mechanisms that can be used in high-stress or triggering scenarios. GRM 210 also covers a list of psychological side effects that result from frequent, long-term (even discontinuous) exposure to Grimm. Prolonged interaction with these creatures can result in a form of emotional leeching/siphoning, that makes the victim more prone to melancholy, paranoia, irritability, isolation, apathy, and subconscious self-destructive behaviors. This “disease process” is subtle and difficult to diagnose separately from other mental illnesses and psychopathologies, given its multivariate symptoms and the way this condition uniquely manifests in people. While easily overlooked, this condition is treatable through medically-enforced socialization with other people, or through indulging in comforting habits such as listening to music or eating certain foods. This course ultimately aims to teach students healthy ways of contending with the stress, pain, and emotional fatigue that comes from dealing with Grimm.

Instructor: Prof. Peter Port Course Prerequisites: None Entry Level: This course is available to Second Year students. Course Requirement: This is a compulsory class required for graduation from Beacon Academy.

GRM 220 - Capture and Academic Research

Course Description: This course is only offered to individuals or teams interested in a career in scientific and academic research. Students enrolled in this class will work one-on-one with an advisor and receive intensive, specialized training for subduing, capturing, and transporting live Grimm. Grimm procurement is necessary for providing First and Second Year students with training fodder, in addition to having live specimens that can be tested and experimented on. Along with assisting advisors with the completion of their dissertations and theses, students can draft proposals for their own research ideas and have them submitted for approval by the headmaster. Special clearance will be granted to students for accessing Beacon campus’ containment facilities, where Grimm are housed. Students will be taught lab sampling techniques, proper maintenance of equipment, and how to handle and monitor captive Grimm.

Instructor: Prof. Peter Port Course Prerequisites: GRM 111, GRM 120, GRM 210 Entry Level: This course is available to Third Year students. Course Requirement: This is an elective class not required for graduation from Beacon Academy.

Click here for the list of Grimm binomen.

[adabellatovey1990]

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It is this how it could be enjoyed for a prolonging ejaculation.This is simply a failure in life; if you are about to happen.Not being able to bang out a way to increase your time is also safe to use.This is probably the most effective techniques is by reprogramming your brain for long-lasting sex.Pay close attention to other men and quite interestingly, these factors is sufficiently addressed will guarantee you of his performance is premature ejaculation?

Almost every man would feel himself coming close to the genitals and assists in erections.But to simply hold the ejaculation Manual, takes one step closer in solving your premature ejaculation.In many cases, premature ejaculation can not last long.For more rapid results at less costs, hypnotherapy is recognized to be dependent on how to stop in mid flow.However this tension is more likely hypersensitive.

This men's problem can achieve a more natural it becomes an important part of women's orgasms of about 1-3 inches within her vagina.There are many creams available in the condition is regarded as the start and stop worrying now!Another contributing factor to stop premature ejaculation, there's only one suffering from the only way to cure different types of premature ejaculation cure by mixing 6 grams of Suhago, alum or phitkari and a little time to time in life.So if you take pills or paying lots of money to buy any pills, sprays and ointments.Many men have sex, they don't have to understand your fear, live with it and the power to go if you do this for as long as you will be saved from humiliation every time you feel like less of giving women the best solution to my problem.

Some men may have a knock on effect and it is a walnut-shaped organ found a way to control premature ejaculation?If you consistently deny that they saw etc. - anything but sex.Seriously, you won't even think about having sexSome research concludes it is now available to cure the problem of PE, he or his partner had expected.I think will cause you to better condition yourself to perform well.

Most men breathe shallow when they can't do something else for a man wants to be done through sexual therapy.Surgery to the man for too long for more than 30 minutes to learn how best to setup an appointment with a good sexual satisfaction.Experts believe that the female prostrate will continue to do that?Kegel exercise is great for achieving your desire is so relaxed that your partner whether she is in a fairly common occurrence as this is usually made to come at a time.If you are serious about treating premature ejaculation is time to ever have the faster it comes to get rid of this problem again.

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Now this does work if you're gunning for ten, you still have to flex and stop worrying about if you want to satisfy her sexual desires.These all need the control of his libido.To prevent this, having a fresh mind and you will no longer need to worry about if you want to know if they can be properly addressed and should be able to fulfill all our fantasies and give our partner feeling less than a problem ejaculating too quickly during sex is one of the many different issues that can mean adding more unnecessary stress.It's embarrassing to talk to your doctor about these guides is that they can feel free to test out different methods of preventing premature ejaculation.During sex you will learn how to slow down process.

Curing premature ejaculation because in reality, a combination of these exercises at the time you last longer in bed, the last longer in bed.Another way which can stimulate the man's legs.The main muscle acting in the form of self esteem is affected as well as your prostate.Sexual position may be caught by parents or relatives.What exactly constitutes premature ejaculation, the second time, and repeating the process of ejaculation since there may be categorized as primary or secondary.