#<-- *lying*

[shanxy180]

dude its him it’s the constructor

[anditwentlikethis]

France vs Argentina

[ennuijpg]

230120 fansign (cr. @116page on twt)

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Deep sea benthic Miku

[inbabylontheywept]

my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

she then told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and go to heaven, and be able to talk to the worms face to face. that i'd be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident, driven only by excessive Love, and that she was positive they would forgive me because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

[apollos-boyfriend]

i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.

[mejkosmos]

whichever madman pointed out that the new rift on bill's body in the theraprism is meant to parallel ford's cracked glasses after he emerges out of the portal,,,, MY SOUL IS YOURS TO TAKE ANYDAY MY GOSH

--------------------------------------------------

bonus !!

ford about bill:

bill about ford:

[assiraphales]

ryan reynolds: I want deadpool and wolverine to fuck

disney: no

ryan reynolds: I REALLY want deadpool and wolverine to fuck

disney: no

ryan:

disney: the bartender asks if they’re going to fuck or fight, there’s two intimate fight scenes including a car sex squabble where they stick their swords into each other all night long, there’s a joke about wolverines dick being in deadpools mouth, wolverine becomes deadpools live in boy toy & while he does help wade get back w his gf, he probably watches. and u get to make a pegging joke

ryan: SOLD!!

[etherealspacejelly]

me when the disability disables me: oh what the fuck? this sucks. what the hell man!

[mikufanclub]

ohhhhh okay

[rival-ado]

could have been worse

[desert-rat]

basement remodeling is going well

[nijuukoo]

500 gigawatts of the power of God

[pangur-and-grim]

it's so nice to see Pangur getting over her fear and returning to normal. after months of nothing bad happening, she's finally had the brilliant thought of "huh.....perhaps nothing bad will happen???"

yes, pangur, you are living a life of decadence like none other. nothing bad will happen to you.

[pjoseries]

actually you have a mama's boy and then you have whatever the hell percy jackson is because that kid PRAYED to his MOM instead of his father who's an actual god .