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neoneversleeps · 5 years ago

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achromatopsia | l.dh

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader (gender neutral)

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: swearing, making out, mentions of a rare eye condition, anger outburst

description:

You fall in love with the colourful boy who sees the world in shades of grey.

words: 8.7k

disclaimer: this fanfic in no way intends to romanticize the condition of achromatopsia nor does it intend to make light of anyone who deals with this condition. it’s only intent is to show that even though living with such a condition can be hard, it shouldn’t stop you from living your life like everyone else. also, i do not claim to be an expert on this condition, all my information has been gathered from internet research.

playlist ☀

Lee Donghyuck. The cheery youthful boy with the red rosy cheeks and wide smile who lived down the street. The boy who played soccer in the fields of the nearby park, bright blue shorts and pink knees stained with green and brown patches. The boy whose laugh sounded like a burst of color, the sound fading through shades of pink and red and orange and yellow. The colors of happiness. The boy whose caramel colored skin was dotted with freckles and moles.

The boy who embodied the sun. Embodied the hues of pink and lilac when it rose in the morning, the yellow light as it shone through the day and the red glow as it set for the night.

Donghyuck was colors. He lived and breathed in them and the painstaking irony of it all, was that he’d never get to see them.

Achromatopsia.

“Achromatopsia is a condition characterized by a partial or total absence of color vision. People with complete achromatopsia cannot perceive any colors; they see only black, white, and shades of grey.”

By now, you could probably recite the entire Wikipedia article by heart from the amount of times you’ve read through it.

You still remember the day you had first looked it up. It was sophomore year, sometime at the start of semester. The day you had officially met Lee Donghyuck, the annoyingly loud class clown and your recently assigned lab partner.

You are working on your chemistry experiment alone. Your supposed partner chatting with his friends at the table over, his obnoxiously loud voice ringing throughout the class. You search through the list of things required for your experiment and diligently set everything up. You were used to working alone. While most of your classmates slacked off or goofed around, you actually worked on the assigned projects.

Although you must admit, it was getting increasingly difficult to balance all the various chemicals you had to add to the concoction in front of you while also controlling the temperature of the fire and reading through the instructions. You huffed in frustration, seemingly louder than you had intended, because your aforementioned lab partner was now right by your side.

“Can I help?” You were surprised that his voice actually sounded genuine and that he had the decency to look a little guilty. Nonetheless, you were pissed.

“Oh why thank you, how kind. I would most certainly appreciate your help.” you gritted through your teeth, the sarcasm rolling off you in waves.

He shoots you a sheepish smile but you stare him down, and you swear you see him gulp as he turns towards the ingredients splayed out on the table.

“Ok. What should I do?"

Your eyes skimmed over the list of materials before you answered. "Pass me the hydrogen peroxide.” Donghyuck looked a little helpless at that and if you were in a different situation, you might have even found his expression endearing. Now, however, you resist the urge to roll your eyes. “The one with the red label."

Donghyuck freezes at that, and you see his eyes flit nervously between the two substances in front of him. You were confused at the sight, why couldn’t he just hand it to you?

You hadn’t failed to notice the way his friends at the other table had gone quiet as well, the whole classroom suddenly falling into an eerie silence. A strange feeling settles in your stomach and with a much quieter voice than before, you repeat your request.

"Can you… pass me the one with the red label, please?"

Donghyuck blinks furiously a few times, red painting his neck as he shoots a nervous smile your way. "It’s- I’m colorblind…totally colorblind.” He gulps after he speaks his words and his eyes search yours for some sort of reaction.

It feels like the whole class is watching the two of you, breaths caught in their throat, much like your own. Your mind is on overdrive. Should you apologize? Should you stay quiet? Ignore it? What were you supposed to do?

With what feels like a hundred stares burning into your back and your own cheeks heating up so much you thought you might burst into flames, you utter your next words.

“The one on the left. Can you- can you pass me the one on the left."

You internally chastise yourself for your small stutter and the fact that your heart still hasn’t stopped it’s incessant pounding.

It’s only until Donghyuck reaches for the red-labeled bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide and hands it over to you with a small smile that you feel your heart’s rhythm slowly return to normal. Time seems to unfreeze at the simple gesture and the chatter throughout the class starts up again as usual.

The lesson continues with the both of you working side by side in relatively comfortable silence.

It wasn’t until the end of the hour that Donghyuck turns to you, one of the straps of his bag already hanging off his shoulder.

"Thank you."

You’re momentarily stunned at his words. Why was he thanking you?

"For what?”

“For not apologizing.”

That night as you got home, you spent hours researching complete color blindness, a concept that was previously foreign to you. It was odd to the think that the boy down the street, the boy who had been your classmate throughout you whole childhood, suffered from something you weren’t even aware existed.

The words you read caused a painful twist in your gut. It didn’t seem right to you that Donghyuck, whom you had always seen as the most colorful boy in town, saw nothing but the world in black and white.

You went to bed that night feeling restless, nothing but the honey coloured eyes of the boy that saw no colours invading your dreams.

Those eyes invaded more than just your dreams, since after that fateful chemistry class, you seemed to bump into Donghyuck at almost every corner. You saw him at the ice cream parlor at the edge of the town, at your local arcade where he hung out with his friends. Sometimes, he waved at you from his garden down the street from your house, as he tended to the flowers with his mother. His bright, wide open smile, so care-free and bold, contrasted your small shy smile, which you always returned.

To this day, you wondered if it was coincidence or fate that drew you two together. In your heart, you liked to believe it was the latter.

One tuesday, at lunch, you had found him sitting alone at a table, his usual loud group of friends nowhere to be seen.

Tentatively you walk in the direction of the sunny boy that sits alone at the usually boisterous table. The two of you hadn’t properly talked since the chemistry class incident, except for the small greetings from the numerous casual encounters you had shared, but still, something inside you pulls you towards him. As you draw closer, you notice an uncharacteristically somber expression on his face. Your heart twists uncomfortably, wanting nothing more than to replace his dark expression with a much brighter one.

Once you place your tray down on the table however, Donghyuck grins up at you as if snapping out of a daze. “Y/n! What brings you here?” You smile pleasantly back at him as you sit down, although your heart feels heavy as you noticed his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I- I saw you were sitting here alone so I thought maybe…” You trail off as you look down at your hands. “You’re cute.” The boy in front of you comments as he leans his chin on the hand that’s propped up by his elbow. The smile never leaves his face. You don’t find it uncomfortable, Donghyuck’s smile might be the most beautiful one you had ever seen,but you can’t help but feel that he’s using it as a mask.

You roll your eyes playfully at his comment and take a bite out of your sandwich. “Where are your friends? Don’t you normally eat lunch with them?” Donghyuck shrugs at your question.

“They have better things to do like cramming for our next exams.” You narrow your eyes at the boy. “And why aren’t you cramming with them?” Donghyuck lets out a soft chuckle and a playfully cocky expression takes over his face. It’s hard to picture his somber look from before. “Oh please, I could ace those exams in my sleep.”

You nearly let out a snort and before long there’s a ripple of laughter that leave your mouth due to his words. Donghyuck looks mildly offended. “What’s so funny?” It takes you a few moments to compose yourself before you speak again. “No offense, Donghyuck, but I’ve seen your grades.”

Donghyuck’s jaw drops open as you continue to stifle your laughter through your hand. You can see how his tongue pokes at his cheek in light annoyance. Normally, you’d be afraid you had actually made him mad, but you see he’s fighting back a smile. It isn’t long before the baffled look on his face is replaced by a defiant one.

“Do you think you’ll do better than me then, puppet?”

The sudden use of a pet name catches you off-guard for just a second, but you remain composed, easily playing along with Donghyuck’s banter. You lean forward on your elbows and cock your head to the side slightly. “Oh, I know I will.”

It takes a total of five seconds for Donghyuck to burst into laughter as he shakes his head at your words. “You’re a lot less shy than you seem. Has anyone ever told you that?”

A rosy color rises to your cheek at the fond smile Donghyuck sends your way. Color. There’s a faint realization in your mind that Donghyuck isn’t able to see your blush ut you push the thought away.

As you speak next,you’re voice is quieter and soft, as if what you’re saying is a secret shared between you two. “Nobody’s ever cared enough to find out.” Donghyuck’s eyes soften at your sad smile and what he says next is just as quiet.

“Well then I say it’s time to change that.”

The smile he gives you afterwards is so bright that the sun that shines above you seems to dull in its presence.

Donghyuck had kept true to his words. You never had many friends in your life, and none of them would you consider as close, but Donghyuck seamlessly becomes your closest friend in only a few months. He weaves himself into your day to day so much you wonder how there was even a time where he wasn’t a constant in your life. Through him, you earn other friends as well. Jaemin, Jeno, Renjun and Mark, Donghyuck’s childhood friends. They easily accept you into their little group and the six of you hang out almost every single day.

You had never spent that much time outside the house. In fact, you spent so much time outside, even your parents had noticed your absence. SOmething that didn’t usually occur since their work life kept them so busy.

Although you hung out with all of them, there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that most of your time was spent with Donghyuck. The two of you were inseparable. It was a given that wherever you went, Donghyuck went too.

“Stop pulling on my arm!” You whine as Donghyuck tugs at your appendage, trying to make you fail at the arcade game in front of you, an annoyingly gleeful smile on his face.

You inevitably lose and the small tune that sounds with the words GAME OVER is accompanied by the melodious laugh of the boy beside you. Donghyuck shrugs at your death glare. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s not my fault you suck at this game.” You try to swat at his head but he dodges your attempt.

“Not your fau- how am I supposed to win when you keep distracting me?” You huff indignantly and he leans in closer to your face. “A true master does not blame their defeat on distractions, puppet.” His breath fans across your face and your cheeks heat up involuntarily once you realize how close he is. Rolling your eyes at him, you push him back at his shoulder, earning another cackle from the boy.

“Well, let’s see how good you are, oh so great “master” of games.” Donghyuck winks at you before he gets to work. He grabs the controller and his brows furrow in concentration as he stares at the screen.

You observe the vibrant neon colours of the game. You know that they’re nothing but dull shades of grey in Donghyuck’s mind, but it’s still hard to imagine even after all this time.

The character on the screen bounces up and down, dodging the obstacles in its way. However you notice that the next abyss that approaches is filled with lava instead of the usual water and couldn’t be crossed in the small boat the character carries. You act upon instinct and place your hands over Donghyuck’s as you coordinate the maneuver necessary to surpass the lava pit. The small victory song hums out of the machine as the character reaches the finish line right behind it.

Donghyuck looks down at you, his expression somewhat shy. “I had that, you know.”

“Of course, I was just being overprotective of little mister speedy here.” You say as you gesture at the character gleefully cheering on the screen. There’s a fond look in Donghyuck’s eyes as he stares into yours. You can’t help but notice how close his face is to yours once agai, as your eyes trail down to his lips for just a second.

“Come on, slowpokes! We’re already moving to the next floor!” Jaemin’s loud shout from somewhere to your right pulls both of you out of your trance with a jolt.

“Coming!” Donghyuck shouts in return. He turns to face once Jaemin already runs off. He smiles briefly, plants a quick kiss to your cheek and then grabs your hand to drag you with him.

More. Donghyuck and you had always been more than friends. It was clear from the first time you spoke, where you were left with butterflies in your stomach. It was clear from the way you looked at each other.The way your fingers absentmindedly toyed with his every time you sat at the table and from the way’s Donghyuck would often plant small kisses on your cheeks and to the crown of your head.

At first, it felt like a crush, something you didn’t want to further in fear of losing the friendship you already had. But one thursday night at 11pm in your favorite diner, you felt your relationship shift.

You scribble down the equations, eyes moving from the sheet in front of you to the math notebook you were writing in. Two strawberry flavored milkshakes sit between you and Donghyuck, who currently had his chin propped up on his folded arms, eyes trained on one of the milkshakes. You look over to him or a second before resuming your homework.

“Shouldn’t you be thinking of completing this assignment too? Its due tomorrow you know.” Donghyuck simply shrugs. You huff and shake your head, but continue writing in your notebook. A few minutes pass where the only sounds are your pen scribbling on the paper and the person behind the counter whistling along with the song that plays from the jukebox.

“What’s the colour pink like?”

Donghyuck’s sudden question startles you quite a bit and you place your pen down to look over to him. You follow his line of vision and land on one of the milkshakes that stands before you. It’s silent for a few more minutes as you think of what to say.

“Pink is like… the feeling of cotton candy. It’s sweet and fluffy. It’s the colour of people blushing, of hushed secrets and hopeful promises. It’s the colour of falling in love. It’s also the colour of youth, of the bubblegum that you pop in your mouth and the colour of strawberry milkshakes you drink at a diner at 11pm on a school night.” You finish with a smile. Donghyuck smiles back and then closes his eyes. He exhales slowly through his nose.

“It sounds nice. I think I like the colour pink.”

There’s an undeniable sadness in his voice despite the soft smile that plays on his lips. In that moment, you desperately want to trade places with the boy on front of you. He deserves to see the world in color just as much as you do, if not more.

You also realize, that you’ve never really paid that much attention to the fact that Donghyuck was completely colorblind. At times, you would even forget it. Of course, you knew he appreciated the way in which you had never treated him any differently just because of his condition, but you oftentimes forgot how hard it must be.

Donghyuck, though being open about most things in his life, kept any feelings about his condition under lock and key. In all this time you had never really talked about it. He brushed it off every time it came up in conversation, and you never pushed or prodded any further.

That night, you swear to yourself that you would do anything in your means to make Donghyuck’s world as colourful as he deserved. And maybe, just maybe, that night you also realize that your crush on Lee Donghyuck was much more than just that.

Some time after that night at the diner, the two of you were having your biweekly sleepover at his house. His parents were out of town, which meant you had the house to yourself.

And in the early hours of the morning, after a sinful amount of movies and popcorn, your previous light conversation turned to something much deeper.

You lay down on your back next to Donghyuck, the clock on his computer reads 3:07 am. The last movie had just ended and the both of you felt rather full from splurging on popcorn and other snacks.

The last few hours had felt giddy, like the both of you had turned back time for awhile and just rejoiced in your youth. Now however, the room had gone quiet and the only sounds to be heard were your’s and Donghyuck’s shallow breathing.

“Hyuck?"

You were careful to talk quietly, scared that any louder sound would break through the veil of intimacy that had befallen the room. Donghyuck’s low hum is the only indication that he’s listening.

There’s a million things you want to ask. A million things you still don’t understand despite all your research. So many questions in your head, but you settle on just one.

"What is it like?"

There’s no need for any specifications. Donghyuck knows what you’re asking.

Your heart picks up in speed as minutes go by without an answer. You’re scared you’ve overstepped your boundaries and suddenly you want to take everything back. What if he’s mad? What if he hates you now? What if-

"It’s hard to explain.”

Donghyuck steady voice cuts off your frantic thoughts, and you shift slightly closer to him, the both of you staring up at his bedroom ceiling. You wait patiently for him to continue.

“My parents noticed how shaky my eyes were when I was still a baby. It’s called nystagmus, and it’s a symptom of achromatopsia. I also… had photophobia. Everytime my parents tried to take me out in the sun, I would scream and cry in fear. And the large stuffed animals my family bought me, they scared me to death. To me… they were just formless patches of gray or white. Visual acuity for people with achromatopsia is very…”

“ …low, I know. It gets better with age though, doesn’t it?” You finish Donghyuck’s sentence for him after he trails off. You look over to see that he now has his eyes closed as he nods slowly.

Your fingers move to intertwine with his, and his hand grips yours tightly as you do. You give a small reassuring squeeze and he continues.

“It has gotten a lot better…but-” Donghyuck sighs, his voice slowly getting less steady.

“But sometimes, when I look at you in the sun.. it’s- it gets hard to make out your features and I- I hate it so much because I want to be able to see you. Truly see you and be able to- have this perfect picture of you in my mind but I can’t-. can’t because everything blurs together and I can’t- I can’t-” There’s a choked sob that escapes Donghyuck’s mouth as he talks and you immediately lean up to take his face in your hands.

Your thumbs rub soothingly across his cheeks, spreading around the streaks of tears that roll down them. Donghyuck’s eyes are still shut and his breaths come out heavy and strained.

“Hey, hey, open your eyes, Hyuck."

Donghyuck’s forehead draws together as he forces his eyes to stay wired shut and he shakes his head.

"Donghyuck. Look at me."

"Please.”

At this, Donghyuck’s eyes finally flutter open. Their red and watery and the fear that swims in them tugs at your heartstrings painfully. You manage to smile regardless.

“I’m here. You don’t need to have some perfect image of me in your head because the real me is right here. Right by your side. I’ll always be right by your side."

You wipe off the tears pooling under Donghyuck’s eyes as he looks up at you.

"You promise?"

You plant a small kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I promise."

You lay back down next to him and before you know it, Donghyuck curls around you, resting his head on your chest.

Minutes go by as you gently comb through the boy’s hair and slowly, you hear his breath evens out.

"Thank you… for talking about it. I know it must be hard."

Your voice is barely above a whisper and it hangs in the air for a few more moments before Donghyuck shakes his head and nuzzles closer into your neck.

"It was good to finally talk about it, especially with you. I trust you, Y/n. I trust you with every part of me, the good and the bad."

You kiss the crown of Donghyuck’s head lightly, your hand moving to caress along his arm.

"I trust you too, Donghyuck, with every part of me."

You fall asleep that night, the boy you hold most dear safe in your arms, your legs intertwined and your hearts beating as one.

As the start of senior year came around, you and Donghyuck decided to head to the beach as a way to celebrate your two years of friendship and to destress before the inevitable impending assignments you were to receive.

You had mentioned your plans to Jaemin in passing as the two of you stopped by your local cafe and you distinctly recalled his words at the idea.

“We’ll take my mom’s car, since she won’t be around anyway.”

Jaemin nods his head as you finish your small explanation, his foot tapping idly at the ground as the both of you wait in line. “And this is to celebrate your friendship?”

“Uh yeah. Why?”

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “Oh come on, Y/n. Everyone in a one mile radius can tell you two are more than friends. You know, I’d really appreciate it if you’d just tell me straight up that you’re dating.”

“But we’re not dating.” You state as if it’s the most obvious thing in the entire universe.

Jaemin shakes his head at you. “Whatever you say, Y/n L/n.”

In truth, you’ve always known you were more than just friends. Nothing was ever said, but it remained as kind of an unspoken promise between you two. What’s more, you felt no need for any kind of title. You were content with your late night talks, the fleeting kisses on your cheeks, or hands, or forehead, and the lingering glances. You sigh quietly. Nope, you didn’t need any sort of official titles. None at all.

“Venti Iced Americano. Ice, no water, with 4 extra espresso shots, please.” Jaemin smiles at the woman behind the counter as he orders his usual. Behind him, you recoil in disgust.

“I still can’t believe you drink that vile concoction of yours.” Jaemin turns to you, an exaggerated look of offense on his face as he places a hand over his chest. “I’ll have you know, that this particular “concoction” is a delicacy.”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes.

“Whatever you say, Na Jaemin.”

A few days later, you found yourself in the driver’s seat of your mom’s car on your way to the beach, an overexcited Donghyuck sitting next to you.

Chocolate by The 1975 blasts through your car’s radio at full volume. Donghyuck belts along the lyrics as best as he can, limbs thrashing around him as he dances to the upbeat rhythm of the song.

“We never gonna quit , no, we never gonna quit it, no!”

You laugh, loud and carefree, as you steal glances at your silly best friend. You nod along to the song and drum your fingers on the steering wheel, enjoying the way Donghyuck harmonizes with the vocalist.

The warm wind blows through your hair from the open window. The air already smells of sea salt and sand as you’re close to approaching the coast. You glance to your right to see Donghyuck leaning his head out of the window, not unlike an overgrown puppy.

With one hand on the steering wheel, you use the other to pull him back into his seat. “Stop hanging your head out the window like a dog. Are you crazy? You’ll behead yourself at this rate.” You reprimand despite your laugh.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes playfully and pulls out a lollipop from your glove department, plopping it into his mouth. “You sound like my mom, puppet.” You don’t appreciate the comment and flip him off with your free hand.

He gives out a chuckle at your annoyed expression and takes out his lollipop to give you a quick peck on your cheek. You wish away the blush on your cheeks as you stare at the road ahead, both hands tightly gripping the steering wheel.

It takes a little less than ten minutes for you to arrive at the beach, and even less for the two of you to run down to the water, leaving your clothing in the car as you were already wearing swimwear underneath. The sand is scorching beneath your bare feet, and it propels you forward faster, chasing after the boy in front of you.

“Slow down, Hyuck!” You pant as you run as fast as you can to even keep up with your friend.

Donghyuck’s laugh carries through the wind. “Catch me if you can, puppet!”

The coldness of the water causes you to shriek as you come in contact with it, Donghyuck already waist deep into the ocean. You brave forward through the waves until you reach him. “Asshole. Couldn’t you wait for me?” You say as you playfully stick your tongue out at him. He shrugs nonchalantly. “Not my fault you’re so slow.” He retorts as he pokes out his own tongue.

You take the opportunity to splash water at Donghyuck’s face and watch in glee as he wipes the droplets from his face. Your giggle falls short however, at the defiant look in his eyes.

“Oh, it’s on.”

Before you know it, water is flying between the two of you at all heights and angles. A full fledged war of water splashes. Your shrieks of laughter are swallowed up by the strong summer breeze as you desperately try to outrun Donghyuck’s attacks. You had quickly come to realize that he had the upper hand in this particular game.

Your attempts at escape are made futile, however, as you feel a pair of arms wrap around your middle. “Gotcha.” Donghyuck breathes next to your ear and your laughter mingles together.

You place your arms over his as your laughter dies down and Donghyuck sways you slightly as you watch the rise and fall of the waves.

Donghyuck’s voice tickles your ear as he cuts through the sound of rushing water. “What’s the colour blue like?”

You close your eyes and lean back into Donghyuck’s chest, letting your body enjoy the warmth he emits. You hum contently.

“Blue? It’s like the water. Sometimes it’s calm and soothing, a comforting and calming presence that you’d use to paint a nursery. Like that feeling when a mother cradles her newborn baby, and it immediately ceases it’s crying. Other times, it’s strong and emotional. It can feel like plunging into the depth of something unknown. It can also represent sadness, like those tears you cry after having lost someone you love. It’s a beautiful colour, but it’s often related to sadness.”

“Then, what colour would you say represents me?”

You open your eyes and turn around to face Donghyuck at this.

“All the colours of the sun. The way it paints the clouds in soft hues of pink and purple in the morning. Those represent your days spent in comfy sweaters, with your hair mussed ever so slightly and that small special smile you give me when I brew you a tea. Then there’s the strong yellow of the sun in its prime. That’s for when you smile the brightest, and your laughter is loud, boisterous, youthful. For those times when you don’t hold back. When you don’t let anyone or anything… hold you back.”

Donghyuck takes your hand in his his as he lifts it up to his lips and plants a small kiss there. The fond look in his eyes makes your breath hitch for just a second before you continue.

“And then there’s the dark orange that seeps into red right before nightfall. That’s for the times when there’s a dangerous glint in your eyes, the playful fire inside you. But it’s also for your passion. For the hours you’ve spent dedicated to the things you love. Like those nights you’d spent awake just to perfect that one song on the piano that was so damn difficult. You kept at it though. It’s admirable, really. You’re admirable.”

Donghyuck’s hands come up to your cheeks. “That’s how you see me? Those are the colours that come to mind when you look at me?”

You nod. “Always.”

Donghyuck leans in slowly and your eyes flutter shut as he finally closes the distance between you. Your first kiss is slow, languid, as your mouths move against each other, water lapping at your waist.

Donghyuck’s tongue swipes at your lower lip and you easily grant him access, sighing as you further the kiss. Your hands move to link behind his nape as his move down to your lower back, pulling you flush against his bare chest. You kiss for what feels like hours before you’re forced to pull apart for air. Both of you smile at each other like two fools in love.

That day, just before sunset, you drive back into the town, the taste of salt on your skin and your lips a distinct colour of cherry red.

The morning that followed after your little trip to the beach, you awoke to multiple buzzes sounding from your doorbell.

The ringing is incessant and you groan as ignoring it proves to be futile.Once you manage to drag your body out from the warm comfort of your duvet, you cross your room to open the window. The chilly morning air hits your face as you look down to your front door, blinking to adjust your eyes to the bright rays of the sun. You recognize the mop of brown hair immediately.

“Hyuck?” You call out from your first floor window.

Donghyuck smiles up at you once he spots your figure from below, one hand blocking the harsh sun from reaching his eyes. “Come down! I need to take you somewhere!”

You duck back into your bedroom and start flitting about to get ready. As you brush your teeth at lightning speed, you wonder what the hell Donghyuck has planned on a sunday morning. The events of yesterday also swim around in your head. Your heart stutters dangerously in your chest as your mind races with different scenarios of what was to come, but you eventually push those thoughts to the back of your mind as you focus on changing out of your pyjamas.

You bound down the stairs, taking two steps at a time, suddenly eager to know what awaits you. You open the door in a flash and Donghyuck whips his head in your direction, a smile overtaking his face. He leans in quickly to place a kiss on your lips and you feel slightly lightheaded at the easiness with which he does.

Donghyuck doesn’t waste any time and tugs on your wrist as he starts to drag you off somewhere, leaving you with barely enough time to shut the door. “Hyuck!” You laugh as he nearly breaks out in a sprint. You can tell he’s excited. “Where are we going?”

Donghyuck turns around for merely a moment, a playful glint in his eyes as he smiles at you. “It’s a surprise.” He sends a small wink your way and you shake your head at his silliness.

After a few minutes of walking through your neighborhood, you recognize the route you’re taking as the one that leads to your high school. “Hyuck, why are we headed to school? You do know it’s sunday, right?” You ask as you draw closer to the building.

“You’ll see.”

You huff in response to his words and he turns to look at you. “Were you always this impatient?” You stick out your tongue in retaliation, which earns you a small laugh from Donghyuck.

The both of you finally come to a standstill under a willow tree that sits on a small hill just outside the school building. “Do you know where we are?” You raise an eyebrow at Donghyuck’s odd question.

“Um..yeah. We’re at school? I don’t really-”

Your sentence is cut short by Donghyucks groan as he rolls his eyes. He points his finger at one of the schools buildings, to a window that looks into a classroom and tilts your head with his hands so you follow his line of vision. “What’s that classroom over there?”

You still weren’t quite following. “The chemistry..lab? Again, I don’t-” This time you cut yourself off with a gasp. It finally hits you. The memory of sophomore year, the first time you ever spoke to the boy in front of you.

“Got it now? I figured, for what I’m about to ask…” Donghyuck reaches for something inside his inner jacket pocket. “…it would be best to go back to the place where everything started.” He finishes with a small folded letter now in his hand.

You stare at the folded paper before you. “Purple, it’s your favourite colour, right?” You nod. “Yeah.” You breathe out with a smile. The thought of Donghyuck probably asking one of your other friends to help pick out the right coloured paper for you warms your heart.

You take the letter out of his hands, only noticing then how much they were shaking. Donghyuck was nervous. You fold open the piece of paper and read along the one line of text scribbled across it in Donghyuck’s unmistakable handwriting.

"In my world full of greys, you’re my splash of colours.”

It’s short, sweet and undeniably cheesy, but it makes your eyes water all the same. One of your hands comes up to cover your mouth as you reread the words over and over, trying to permanently etch them into your memory. “Y/n?”

You look up at the mention of your name, and Donghyuck takes notice of the way tears threaten to spill from your eyes. He immediately moves a step closer.

“Y/n, oh my God, why are you crying? This was supposed to make you happy, not sad.” He says as he wipes off the tears from the corners of your eyes with his thumbs.

“It does.”,you choke out, “It does make me happy. So happy.” You wrap your arms around the boy in front of you, squeezing him tight as you plant butterfly kisses along his neck, jaw and cheek, all the while listening to the airy giggles that erupt from his mouth.

You stay like that for awhile, just wrapped in eachothers arms, until finally Donghyuck pulls away. He jerks his head to the side. “Diner? I’ll buy you pancakes as an apology for forcing you out of bed.”

You hadn’t even noticed the fact that you’d skipped breakfast until the mention of food brings out a growl in your stomach. The both of you laugh at the sound and you nod in acceptance to the offer. You take off towards the diner, hands intertwined and swinging between you two.

“Hey puppet.”

“Mm?”

“Just so we’re clear, you do get that that whole thing back there means we’re official now, right?”

You lightly punch him in the arms as you roll your eyes. Donghyuck wears a gleeful grin on his face. The grin is wiped off however, when one of your hands grabs him by the jaw and you smash your lips onto his, hard. You turn the kiss into a near make out as you nibble on his lower lip and tilt your head to push into him even further. And just as Donghyuck exhales in bliss, you pull away, his lips still chasing yours.

You turn and continue to walk as if nothing happened. Donghyuck is left staring after you with a dumbfounded look on his face, as a satisfied smirk plays on yours.

Not much changed in your relationship after that day, except for the fact that you would now introduce Donghyuck to people as your boyfriend instead of your best friend. Or the fact that most of your movie nights would now also include a make out session. Or the fact that you would nibble along Donghyuck’s ear as you whispered, Renjun gagging in his seat across from you.

After you had broken the news to your friends, you had learned that they had long since placed bets on when the two of you would finally get together. Jaemin was the only one who had bet you would do it before the end of senior year and had cashed in a total of sixty bucks from your friends, of which you and Donghyuck requested twenty.

“And why exactly should I hand over any part of my hard earned money?”

“Because, you wouldn’t have any if it weren’t for us.” You state matter of factly, Donghyuck nodding along, one of his arms secure around your waist. Jaemin begrudgingly hands over the twenty dollar bill, a scowl very evident on his face.

“Thank you for your contribution.” You say, smile on your face sickenly sweet. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jaemin mutters as he waves you off. You grin triumphantly as you look up at the boy beside you and Donghyuck grins right back as he plants a small kiss on your forehead.

The next few months of school were stressful for everyone and the constant and seemingly never-ending amount of workload caused a slight strain in your relationship. The many nights of studying and finishing homework had made it harder for the two of you to meet or even talk for a while.

One early evening, as you sat down to get started on your biology studies, you called up Donghyuck and asked to come over so the two of you could study together. That had seemed to be the only thing which would allow for some time together, even if it was spent with your noses buried in books. Donghyuck had sounded somewhat strained on the phone but he had agreed to your idea regardless.

You knew Donghyuck had his bad days, but that night was one of the worst.

You sit in silence on the floor of Donghyuck’s bedroom, the only sound in the room the one of highlighter pens scraping across the surface of your textbooks. For whatever reason, the atmosphere in the small room is tense. It feels like the air buzzes with some sort of energy every time you move, so you try to sit as still as possible.

Donghyuck lays chest down on his bed, his eyes squinting at the page in front of him in concentration. You feel like you’ve been revising for hours, and honestly, you would like to just take a break and cuddle with your boyfriend, or at the very least be able to hold a conversation with him.

You exhale a breath, thinking of conversation starters. You were never one for small talk, but you and Hyuck used to be able to talk about anything, and it never felt awkward. Not until now, at least. So,you decide to go the easy route.

“I’m gonna fail this exam.” , you chuckle lightly, “All this hormonal regulators shit is hard.”

“Oh yeah? Well at least you can actually see the colours to help you memorise them.”

You’re taken aback at the harshness of his tone. In all the time you’d known each other, he’d always just told you about his frustrations, but never before had he let them out on you. Slowly, you move to get up and sit at the edge of his bed.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” he says, eyes trained on the same page of the biology textbook he’s been staring at for the past five minutes. Hesitantly, you reach out a hand to touch his shoulder, only to take it back in shock as Donghyuck stands up abruptly. “Don’t-”, he breathes in sharply through his nose, “Just don’t.”

“I don’t understa-”

“Exactly!” Donghyuck’s shout cuts off your words. “You don’t understand! I mean, how could you? You weren’t born with some sort of defect. You were born with perfect eyes. And yet you complain about the stupidest shit sometimes. “Oh that shade of green is ugly” “The sunlight is so bright” “All these different colours are confusing”.” Your heart twists painfully in your chest as you watch him mock you. You knew the comments could be hurtful, and you tried with all your might to avoid saying them, but sometimes they just slipped out. You never meant to cause any harm.

“And then you complain about-” He pauses to let out an exasperated laugh. “You complain about hormones, in a biology book. What is it about you and biology anyway? Your grades are fine.” You want to say something but Donghyuck continues before you get the chance. “Have you ever heard of, oh i don’t know, thinking before you speak? Because newsflash! Biology- Fuck- Life itself, is a little harder when all you can fucking see, is IN BLACK AND WHITE! But no, your complaints are way more important aren’t they? You know why? Because you’re selfish.”

Selfish.The word feels like a spear to the heart. You stand up and your voice shakes with anger and hurt as you speak, tears already rolling down your cheeks.

“You wanna know why I’ve been so stressed about biology? Because I need a fucking perfect GPA in that class to get into medical school.” Donghyucks brows draw together in confusion. “Yeah, you heard right. Medical school. You wanna know why? Because I want- because I promised myself that I would do whatever it takes to make you see the world in the same way I do. And yeah, maybe it’s impossible. Maybe I’ll spend my life trying to find some sort of cure and never do. But atleast I tried. I tried.” Your voice cracks ever so lightly at the last word.

“But never mind that, right? I’m just some selfish idiot who complains too much and never thinks before they speak.” You say as you storm past Donghyuck, but are halted by his hand on your wrist. You turn around to yell at him to let go, only to have your yell stuck in your throat as Donghyuck smashes his lips onto yours. The kiss is filled with emotion, but it lasts only a mere few seconds as Donghyuck pulls away to lay his head on your shoulder. His hands fist the fabric of your t-shirt and his breaths are heavy against your neck. You lift up your hand to rub up and down his back soothingly.

“I’m sorry. It wasn’t right of me to yell at you like that.” He moves his head to rest against your forehead. “You’re not selfish. In fact, you’re the farthest thing from it. You’re the most selfless person i’ve ever met.” His voice shakes as and he inhales deep through his nose. “You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head at him, and lean up to kiss the corner of his mouth, by now a comforting gesture between you two.

“Apology accepted.”

The last few weeks of senior year were still filled with nerve-wracking levels of stress but you took comfort in the fact that the strain between you and Donghyuck had vanished completely. It had felt nice, how everything returned to normal between the two of you. It was like, after the fight, an immense weight had been lifted off your shoulders and you could finally breathe again.

You braved through your last set of finals and then decided to focus on the one thing you had been looking forward to in the year: prom. Still, the results of your exams plagued your mind with worries. If you didn’t reach the results expected of you, you could kiss the idea of medical school bye bye.

You were brought out of your spiraling thoughts on prom night as your boyfriend called you over to help pick out an outfit. You were grateful for the distraction,and headed over as fast you could, already finished with your own attire and makeup.

Your fingers drum absentmindedly along Donghyuck’s bed covers as you wait for him to finish rummaging through his closet. The sound of rustling fills the air as your mind once again drifts to your exam results, as you desperately try to recall your answer to that one question you’re sure you failed. “Aha!” Donghyuck’s shout calls your attention back to him. “Found ‘em.”

He holds up two dress shirts: one a silky blue and the other a deep shade of velvety red.

“The blue one is nice but, the red one will look better with your tan skin.” You say as you point at the second shirt Donghyuck holds up in front of his chest as he looks in the mirror.

“ I do recall you using the colour red to describe me once.” Donghyuck says as he smiles over at you. “So it’s only fitting.”

“Yeah.” You breathe with a smile, but it falls from your face just as fast as it arrived. It’s not long before your boyfriend stands in front of you, tilting your chin up so you look at him. “What’s wrong, puppet? It’s prom night. You should be excited.” You sigh as you squeeze your eyes shut for a second. “I am! I am excited. It’s just…”

“Your results?” Donghyuck states more than asks, his voice soft as he sits beside you. You let your head fall onto his shoulder as you exhale. “Yeah..” You feel Donghyuck place a quick peck on the crown of your head and one of his hands trails down your arm to comfort you. “Y/n. You’re the smartest, most amazing, and most dedicated person I know. I don’t think anyone studied harder for these finals than you did. You did great, and your results will be great too. Hell, they’ll probably be the best the school has ever seen. The best the county has ever seen.” You lift your head off his shoulder to chuckle. “Well, I wouldn’t go *that* far.”

“I would.” Donghyuck says as he looks at you, a fond expression on his face. You lean in to kiss him, lips only barely touching his. He deepens the kiss, slowly molding his mouth together with yours as his body pushes you down onto his bed. He moves to hover above you, his arms supporting his weight as his tongue dances with yours.

“Donghyuck! Y/n! Are you guys ready?” Donghyuck’s mom’s shout causes you to break apart. Donghyuck groans. “Yeah! We’ll be down in a minute!” He goes to lean back down but you plant your hands firmly on his chest to stop him, a laugh bubbling in your throat. “ Easy there, tiger. You.”, you poke your boyfriends tummy, “still need to finish getting dressed.” Donghyuck groans again, but obliges and gets off you in favor of buttoning up his shirt.

You watch in fondness as he fumbles with the buttons, tongue poking out at the corner of his mouth in concentration. For the first time that night, you truly are excited to go to prom, all thoughts about the future long forgotten in the back of your mind.

You ended up passing your finals with flying colours, even graduating as the valedictorian of your class. An honour which you did not expect, but had accepted humbly and happily.

The thing that made you most happy now however, was the fact that you had been accepted into one of the best medical schools in the country with a partial scholarship. And, the fact that your boyfriend was going to attend university in the same city as you, only a few streets over, as a music major in a prestigious fine arts academy.

The time came for both you and Donghyuck to leave behind the town of your childhood, and to part ways with your friends and family, promises of holiday visits and choruses of “see you soon’s” as you bid them all goodbye.

You sit in your car, hands on the steering wheel as you try to calm the nerves bubbling in your stomach. Your high school, diploma sits stored away in one of the many boxes that litter the back of both yours and Donghyuck’s dad’s car, who will accompany you in your drive towards the big city.

You recall the teary eyed faces of your parents as they wished you farewell and there’s a small hollow ache in your chest. It’s scary, leaving home. But you know that the life that awaits you holds promises of adventures to come, especially when you have the love of your life by your side.

Said boy swings upon the passenger side door as he hops into the car. He leans over for a quick peck on the lips before he closes the car door behind him. “Ready?” he asks. You watch as he taps something into the GPS navigator, presumably the directions of your new apartment, and your eyes trail over his features. You take in how much he’s grown. How different he is from the chubby cheeked kid who ran through the parks of your town, or the fresh faced sophomore who didn’t care to pay attention in chemistry.

You think back on your memories together. The days spent at the arcade with your friends, afternoons turned into evenings at your favourite diner, movie nights filled with unhealthy amounts of snacks, the beach where you shared your first kiss. You would miss this old town. You would miss its colours, the ones you had gotten so good at describing all these years. You would miss the familiarity of it all, the safety, the way it felt like home.

You know however, as you look at the boy sat beside you, that he was now you’re home, and that wherever you went, you would feel safe as long as he was with you.

So, with a determined sigh, you turn the key in the ignition and tighten your grip on the steering wheel.

“Ready.”

#neowritingsnet #nctechnet #nct haechan x reader #haechan angst #haechan fluff #lee donghyuck #donghyuck x reader #nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #angst #fluff #nct x reader #nct haechan #nct donghyuck #x reader

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naraism · 5 years ago

Text

Two concerts. First rows. An afterparty and a meet and greet.

Aka the two best days of my entire life. My hands are still shaking, so pls ignore typos.

Okay, so, Bára/ @followthecreeper , Lucy/ @beauty-at-matrix, our friend Terka and Anna/ @062467 (who joined us to the first rows) and I attended the two concerts in Prague. I’m gonna write down everything I can and the girls are encouraged to add just as much they can. ♡♡♡

The First Concert

The first day we got to the arena at 8am and our waiting began. We managed to be right behind a couple so we were among the first people there – the waiting was annoying but so much worth it. When the gates finally opened we sprinted down into the venue and managed to get a spot in the first row right in front of Paul. (We risked by going to a different entrance than we had on the tickets, thankfully, all went well.) Then came a couple of more hours of waiting and the duo Jatekok started to play. Not your usual choice of a support but I rather liked it. Also during the waiting one of the security guys came to us, asked us how are we doing and then he opened his hand and had a number of Richard’s pick in it. They were gone in a matter of seconds lol – Lucy managed to get one, I had one gripped but a dude was stronger than me. The last ten minutes were the longest minutes in my entire life – though what came after them was the most beautiful thing ever.

Rammstein started playing at 19:40 – Schneider’s intro really knocked the air out of you and as each member started to walk out onto the stage, the madness began. I wanted to cry when I finally saw them all right in front of me and when Paul walked to our side and IMMEDIATELY started looking into the audience, we lost our shit. @babypaulchen was right, the man keeps staring at you, keeps smiling at you and plays with you the entire time! We could see he really loved when we started to headbang and our hair went flying everywhere – I can remember how he was looking at me, smiling, and then he started to headbang too, encouraging us to be crazy.

I think that somewhere in the beginning of the concert Till came to our side and sung right in front of us. Then the motherfucker looked at me and mimicked at me that I should take my shirt off and show him my tits. I just raised the crop top so my bra was visible but that was not enough for him and he kept raising his hands up, so I would take the bra off too. With so many people around I was too shy to do that so I just laughed and shook my head, screaming NO! at him. He pretended to be offended, waved his hand in dismiss and returned to the center. Later in the song he came back and did the leg thingy where he threw his leg onto the railing and kept singing.

Paul kept running from one place to another, being the sweetheart that he is, he even climbed behind Schneider to play with him and then kissed his forehead. My heart melted. And every time he was on his side he kept looking down, seeing us party down there and laughing so much. I never really could hold his gaze longer than for a couple of seconds, It just felt like you’re suddenly the only person it there. He also went down to the fence and signed a couple of things, then he touched our hands as he walked by. The same thing went with Till when he was kicked down during Mein Teil and he walked by us in all his butcher glory.

During Links one of the main security guys was walking down the row, stopped right in front of me and just offered me the Afterparty bracelet. I couldn’t believe my eyes as he strapped the band around my hand and told me where to go after the concert. Fucking speechless. He then continued into the middle, picking up some other random people as well. I also saw Joe so I waved at him, hen noticed me and winked back lol.

During the concert you could really see how much fun the guys were having, laughing all the time, goofing around, running around and enjoying the energy coming from the audience. The entire stadium flawlessly sung Du hast and Sonne, it really chilled us to the bones, hearing so many people sing in unison. And the same thing can be said about Engel – while the guys were moving to the B stage, the camera was pointed at the audience and guess who had her face shown to the entire arena – I diiiiiiid. They took shots of all different people and before you knew it, the sign to use your phone’s light appeared and everyone was singing their heart out. Really magical. The guys then returned on their boats and our partying with Paul continued. We were doing the fucking Macarena in front of Paul, making him laugh.

Also holy shit I think it was during Du hast Paul stood in front of us, hand nothing to do so he started FLOSSING. You know, that weird-ass dance. Or rather attempted it and then frowned, waved his hand in dismiss and then continued to dance his own little dances.

Rammstein and Ich Will took our breaths away, especially when Till spoke in Czech – ruce nahoru! – and the arena went nuts. A beautiful ending, Till once again used his Czech, charmed us with his thank yous and the guys disappeared into the tower. Also, I almost caught Schneider’s stick, he noticed my screaming and jumping and threw it my way, but a dude next to me had longer hands. Oh well. That was not the end of the day for me. I once again asked one of the security guys where to go, said goodbyes to the girls and went my own way to the Afterparty.

The Afterparty

There was quite a number of us people and even before the stadium emptied, we were ushered into a room with red lights, a bar, a DJ set and couches and chairs by the walls. I was feeling kinda weird as I didn’t know anybody in there so I just shuffled to the first group that was speaking Czech. Luckily, I befriended a girl, Camie, who was also in the Afterparty for the first time and as I found out, loves Paul just as much I do. We got some mojitos, the barman was happy to hear Czech lol, and we kinda stood there together talking about the concert – in like half an hour Paul was the first one to come out of doors that were curtained and lead to their dressing rooms. It was discouraged to follow them around, you were supposed to enjoy the free booze, the music and if you were lucky enough, one of the guys would start to chat with you. So Paul moved from one place to another, greeting people and talking to them. Then came Schneider and spend some time talking by the dressing room doors, talking to one of the girls I chatted with too.

LOL

While that happened we saw Flake emerge together with Ollie and holy shit, even when they’re both really tall, it’s so easy to overlook them. I think that Ollie immediately went back to the hotel while Flake hanged around for a bit and then also kinda disappeared. We were both freaking out, because holy shit, they’re suddenly so freaking close asjdhhkjasbdkjsad. Till then walked out as well and together with his body guard made a beeline to the exit. He looked like a fucking mob boss, in a dress shirt, suit and a cap. I think he had kinda different plans, as I saw somewhere a pic with him and couple of girls, that were supposedly pole dancers. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

And then the diva walked out. Richard was basically wearing the same clothes he was wearing during the Berlin aftershow, where he was dancing with Khira. He got immediately swarmed by girls, either asking for a signature or for a hug (pics weren’t allowed). We used the situation as well and joined the group, waiting for our turn. Richard was so kind, he was smiling the entire time, laughing, and generally being really friendly. When I asked him for a hug he was like “Sure! :D” and laughed and his hug was so warm and my heart melted. He was also so much smaller than I expected. It might have been also because I was still wearing my steel boots while he had his worn out pair of converse shoes lol. Nonetheless, he was really charming and welcoming.

We then moved in front of the DJ set, with new drinks and danced for a bit – Joe was mixing the songs and it was all really good, he played anything from Depeche Mode and Joan Jett to Billie Eilish and Britney Spears. (I wanted to make a short vid of us dancing later but Joe immediately told me not to do that and wanted me to delete the vid lmao, which I did. I just found it hilarious that we were dancing to Dschinghis Khan’s Moskau jsahajsfka).

We then took a break for a while and discovered that Paul was just next to us, talking to some people. We joined the circle and me and Camie took a vid of us hugging Paul. I talked to him for a bit, thanked him for the show, telling him how much I enjoyed it and that it couldn’t have been better. He smiled that adorable smile of his and offered me his hand so I took it and before I knew what’s going on he raised it and kissed it. Then he hugged me and thanked me as well. He is also so so tiny ksjaflshfkskfa. And because Paul’s attention span is non-existent, he was already turning to other people to talk to them. We were both freaking out, Camie shook me by my shoulders in joy, not realizing she was pushing me accidentally into Schneider’s back. We then went for more drinks, the poor barman was almost out of alcohol, so he tried to mix up anything drinkable lol.

(we weren’t allowed to take any pics but Camie managed to make a sneaky video, bless her - PLS DO NOT STEAL THE GIF, DO NOT REPOST IT)

We talked for a bit, saw Richard hanging by the doors into the arena – if someone wanted to smoke they had to go out, it made sense he’s going to be there. I told Camie that I’d like to talk to him but before I could come with anything sensible she was already pushing me towards him. We stopped by him and I just started to babble about how I like his work, that especially the last Emigrate album was great. He put his hand onto his heart and kept thanking me, doing these tiny bows and looking absolutely adorable/hot. I also mentioned that Brig was at the 1,2,3,4 video shoot and that it was really great and he just kept smiling, thanking and being happy in general. Then other people came to talk to him so we left them alone, going to relax a bit.

We could see that only Paul and Richard remained, although more and more people were dancing. We joined them and danced our hearts out, loving every song that Joe played. Not soon after Paul got up from the couches and joined the dancing group, dancing there with us. It was so surreal – he was dancing right next to me, being his little energetic self and also trying not to spill his wine. We kept dancing there for some time and Paul then slowly moved through the groups, dancing around till we lost sight of him.

I had to check if there were any trams going back to my flat as it was already after midnight. We danced for a bit longer but some drunk guy was trying to get our numbers and kept inviting us to him so we tried to distance ourselves. We also discovered that Paul had already left as there were not so many people – there could have been like 70(?) of us, now probably not even half. Richard was still there, though he was again talking to some girls. I was already getting tired and didn’t want to wait for another hour for the trams so in a hurry I said goodbye to Camie, looked around for the last time and left the afterparty. And because I was an idiot (and drunk) I fucked up my night trams and in the middle of nowhere, with dead phone I had to go to the nearest opened pub and asked for a taxi. I returned home around 2am and barely had any strength left.

The Second Concert and the Meet and Greet

Since I had the meet and greet event I did not have to wake up early – Bára left in the morning to wait with the rest of the girls again for the first row and I had a chance to sleep in till 4pm and get rid of the hangover. I asked the girls to write down everything that happened in the first row again, because apparently, it was wilder than the first time – just seeing Bára “pick her nose” in the gigantic screen while Lucy was facepalming made me laugh so hard. They returned with with drumsticks and a pink hat signed by Paul. And supposedly simulated sex with glow sticks during Pussy, making Paul lose his shit.

The Meet And Greet

(I will upload my pics on a separate post :) )

For a month or so I was in a group chat with the other people that were also attending the M&G and we agreed to meet a bit earlier to finally meet each other. I wanted to stop at the merch-truck but the queue was so fucking long I left it be (I just hope they’ll put the shirts into the rammshop like they did last time). We all met, chatted for a bit – there were people from all over Europe – from Germany, Poland, Sweden, Holland, Italy, Russia – I was actually the only Czech there lol.

We were picked up around 18:50 by the guy who was responsible for us, he checked our IDs and then took us through the VIP zone down the stairs to the same room where the afterparty was the day before. We had to wait for a bit as there were some other guest meeting the guys who were then escorted up the stairs. Thee guys apparently received Gold for the 7th album. Also one of the guys that was taking care of us told us that one of the grannies living nearby the arena called the fire department, thinking it was on fire lmao.

Anyway, after like ten minutes, we were let in and stood in a row against the wall where a couple of hours before I was dancing my head off. There was a woman that was telling us how it’s all going to happen, that the members will have pens, will sign one item and can take a pic. She couldn’t even finish her sentence and Richard already walked in, in his full stage outfit, took some pens from her and moved to one side of the line. She said something like “Ah, here is the first one.” And Richard, nonchalantly replied “I’m always the first one.” while beginning to sign stuff. What an experience. It got a bit chaotic then because the rest of the guys suddenly appeared too and stared signing stuff from the other side.

Before Richard could get to me, Oliver singed all of our stuff and apologized that he’s not taking any pics today as he is in hurry. I did not understand at first but then I realized he was the only one who was not in a stage outfit and they were supposed to play in like a half an hour. Then came Richard, now much taller with his boots and signed my album. Joe was again with him and because I did not really want to have selfies with the guys I asked him to take the pic. He did, just as he did it to other people as well.

Then came Flake in his glorious golden outfit, smiling and being friendly. A girl on my left complimented his outfit, pointing to her silver top, telling he inspired her. It was so cute seeing him thanking her and complimenting her outfit just as well. I greeted him, thanked him for the show, took a picture with and wanted to also thank him for all the books he wrote, though there was already a queue forming – Schneider was right behind him, so he had to move forward.

Let me tell you, Schneider is such a sweetheart. While he was getting ready to sing my stuff I told him how I started drumming because of him and how it helped me to deal with stuff and he immediately started grinning and going “Aawww, thank you so much, that is wonderful!” and was smiling like an idiot, just as me. There was nobody free to take a picture so with him I took a selfie – even when I tried to stay cool my hands were shaking a bit and he was patient enough to take a proper pic. Than he thanked me once again and moved forward.

PAUL. Paul, baby, I love you so much. Again a very cheery Hi! And that wonderful smile of his. When he was about to sign the album I asked him if he could draw that smiley face he does and he laughed and said “Sure!” and drew the prettiest self-portrait ever. It was so surreal to watch him draw it, focusing hard on it to make it perfect. He did a couple of re-touches until he was satisfied with it and then proudly smiled as he observed his creation. I asked the girl next to me for a pic. Her hands were shaking quite a bit so when she took the pictures, Paul was concerned with the results. “Are the pictures okay?” He asked as he looked down into my phone. “Are they blurry?” So we checked them together and they were fine; again, he was so happy with the result. Meanwhile Till was going from the other side of the line so Paul was stuck next to me so he turned to me and smiled – he pointed to my red crop top and told me: “Oh, we match!” he had the red beanie and red boots on and in that second I died inside. “We both have red!” he said happily and then slowly moved to the girl next to me. The last thing he did was that he looked at me and asked “Alles okay?” I just managed to laugh and told him that “Ja, just perfect.”

He then spent some time with the girl next to me, looking at the pictures she had brought for signing – he was amazed by the quality and took his time looking over them, looking at each individually. He even called Till over to look at them. That’s where I internally cried as my almost non-existent German did not help me. What I could understand was that Till looked at it, telling him that those were pictures from Instagram. Paul asked him where from and they both started discussing the pics and Instagram. It was adorable – Paul was in awe while Till just shrugged and continued signing, taking pictures. Paul signed the main picture she had and then she quickly showed Paul a picture of him, where he was striking a pose with his guitar leaning back. He was overjoyed and immediately copied the pose, leaning back, doing the same pose. He then laughed and signed some pictures and moved on.

Till was the last one to come, he quickly signed my stuff and I let the guy next to me take the picture. I can’t describe the feeling when he put his gigantic paw around me – he really is a bear turned into a human. I also loved how nonchalant he was about the whole M&G. He then moved to the guy next to me and signed his stuff and I was supposed to take the pic. Except I put my phone down onto the ground next to my things and expected him to hand me his phone. “No, take it with yours, it’s better!” so I bent down for it and heard Till laugh and say “Too late!” and moved to the next person. He was of course just joking and when I was ready with the phone he returned and I took the picture.

In another minute or two it was all over, Schneider and Paul told us to enjoy the show, smiled and then again disappeared into the dressing rooms. Us people with the standing tickets were escorted out into the arena and I had a pleasant surprise – on the other side of the doors stood Ulrike, in her beautiful black dress. Holy shit she’s really tall. I wanted to compliment her dress though she was busy herding their sons, it was hilarious. We passed, let her inside and went to find a good spot.

The Second Concert

I stayed with the guy who was next to me during the M&G, nicknamed Probo, who was from Italy. He told me he managed to not spoil himself the concert so it was really precious watching his reactions. We stayed near the B stage, meaning we had a beautiful view of the entire stage and the fire show. It was also nice to see the guys singing Engel and encouraging the crowd to sing as well. Especially Paul did jsahjsfkuftjhchd. Then we had a wonderful view of the guys on the boats – Schneider and Paul tried to stand up but fell down to their knees in a moment while laughing like maniacs. We enjoyed the rest of the show, danced and sung with the crowd. Last nice surprise was that People sang Sonne while the piano version was in the background as the guys kneeled.

Oh and when there was the camera from the backstage, filming the guys as they’re getting into the elevator, there was nobody to give Richard a cigarette, so he just stood in front of the camera, opened his mouth and kept pointing his finger into it till somebody finally came to him and put the cigarette right into his mouth. That was really… something.

Anyways, this is all from me and I hope @followthecreeper, @beauty-at-matrix, and @062467 will add their stories from the first row.

Best two days of my entire life. ♡♡♡

#rammstein #Paul Landers #Christoph Schneider #Flake Lorenz #Till Lindemann #Richard Kruspe #RZK #Oliver Riedel #Prague 2019 #16.07.2019 #17.07.2019 #Rammstein stadium tour #mine #.txt

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bakurapika · 7 years ago

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this is a short explanation of songs i’ve chosen for my ot3 playlist before because i’m uhhhh actually i have no excuse for why i am the way i am, like i am aware that these genres are all over the place except when i use the same band twice Oh Well. slightly nsfw

organized by chronological order of the story elements. when the lyrics mention 21st-century stuff just uhhh interpret it in terms of 1900s ok?? eg a “cab that smelled like vinegar” would be a borrowed mule or a drunk tank ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i’ll come back and edit these when i add new songs

Uptown Girl: Héctor and Ernesto playfully attempt to woo Imelda as teenagers in Santa Cecelia. POV: Héctor and Ernesto, sung together about Imelda.

Lucky Ones: The OT3 make plans for leaving Santa Cecilia and pursuing a life of stardom on the road. Imelda considers this a reckless and impulsive act of passion. Héctor has been following Ernesto loyally and sees Ernesto’s dream of fame as a ticket out of a dead-end town. POV: Imelda and Héctor, singing alternately to Ernesto.

Hell and You: While on the road, the OT3 fall deeper into both love and lust. Héctor spends a lot of time lost in introspection (and with booze) in an attempt to connect to an elusive poeticism that he can use for his songs and to figure out the morality of this 3-way relationship in relation to what he’s been taught as an ideal. Ernesto begins to show his possessive side, indulging in violent hyperbole when expressing his friendship to Héctor and his infatuation with Imelda. Imelda claims to be as invested in these relationships as the other two but doesn’t express herself in her own verse, foreshadowing her future return to Santa Cecilia. POV: All three, with Héctor and Ernesto alternating verses and Imelda joining for the chorus.

Good for Your Soul: Héctor feels powerless in these relationships due to how complicit he is when anything is demanded of him. He continues to struggle with a sense of individual identity and control over his own life, which expresses itself when he searches for inspiration for his music. Héctor begins to distinguish what he feels for Imelda (falling in love) from what he feels for Ernesto (friendship with benefits). POV: Héctor.

We Don’t Want Your Body: The last song that takes place when the OT3 are traveling together. (Also the basis for this fic of mine if you want to read more.) Imelda and Héctor marvel at the change that takes place in Ernesto when he has an audience to impress. They both consider this public persona to be hollow. Though they enjoy sex with Ernesto, they both feel a lack of personal connection with him. (Includes a time skip to Imelda and Ernesto reconnecting for a single fling after Héctor is dead--see fic for details.) POV: Héctor and Imelda, signing alternately to Ernesto.

Number Three: Héctor’s written “Remember Me” and “The World Es Mi Familia.” He writes “Un Poco Loco” for Imelda after receiving his silver guitar from her as a gift. Also he’s a huge goof. POV: Héctor.

Up to No Good: (Basis for this fic.) After returning home and giving birth to Coco, Imelda realizes that she has to break the hard truth to Ernesto. Héctor is a father with responsibilities who has fallen in love with Imelda and no longer looks at Ernesto in youthful adoration. In fact, when Ernesto and Héctor sleep together, Héctor is only thinking of Imelda. Imelda tries to convince Ernesto of this, valuing emotional honesty above sparing Ernesto’s feelings. She gives Ernesto an ultimatum: that this next upcoming trip with Héctor on tour will be the last one they will be allowed to take. Ernesto begins to make dark plans based on this. POV: Imelda to Ernesto.

Old Black Train: Héctor is killed on his way to a train station, and so he is taken to Death by train. POV: Omniscient third person to Héctor.

Terrible Things: Ernesto continues communication with Imelda, keeping secret Héctor’s death (along with his engineering of it). He’s smug about his ability to keep the murder under wraps. Concurrent with the second verse of “We Don’t Want Your Body,” when Imelda and Ernesto have sex for the final time. POV: Ernesto to Imelda.

Sarajevo: A callback to "Lucky Ones” in the first line: “We were the lucky few/A luck we soon outgrew.” All three consider their time on the road together to be the glory days but simultaneously regret their actions. Imelda regrets her lack of inhibition; Ernesto recognizes the crimes he committed against Héctor (although these charges have never been brought against him); and Héctor regrets having abandoned home for so long. Their days as a trio were star-crossed and caused a lot of pain, but they were simpler and enjoyable times that they each remember fondly. POV: All three, sung to themselves individually.

It Only Makes Me Laugh: In the land of the dead, Héctor has no meaning or context for what happened to him and tries to take his personal tragedy in stride. To cope with his loss, guilt, broken heart, and grief, he resorts to humor. Still, he’s acutely aware of the unfairness and pain in his situation and chooses to find irony in his perceived constant failure in both life and death as he is slowly forgotten in the land of the living. POV: Héctor.

Anti-Music Song: Imelda does not intentionally follow Ernesto’s career, especially once she enacts the Rivera music ban, but she occasionally sees advertisements, accidentally hears recordings, and notices Ernesto’s growing fame. She finds it distasteful and considers Ernesto’s so-called talent to be mere pandering. She implicitly assumes Héctor is contributing to Ernesto’s antics behind the scenes but doesn’t like to think about either of them--or music in general. POV: Imelda to Ernesto and Héctor.

Cien Años: Héctor still carries a torch for Imelda in the land of the dead despite her open scorn of him. For the full century since they fell in love in 1917 until they finally reunite in 2017, he openly and passionately adores her. POV: Héctor to Imelda.

Anthem For the Already Defeated: After reuniting, Imelda and Héctor lend each other their strength in death when they didn’t have the opportunity in life. Imelda is willing to embrace music again. Concurrent with “A Song Is A Weapon.” POV: Imelda and Héctor.

A Song Is A Weapon: Takes place around the climax of the film. Imelda and Héctor separately realize their strength against Ernesto can be found in music. For Imelda, she weaponizes “La Llorona” while performing at the Sunrise Spectacular. For Héctor, his original version of “Remember Me” allows him to be remembered in the land of the living. Imelda and Héctor finally confront Ernesto, acknowledging that his fame means that he will most likely be remembered (and existing in the land of the dead) indefinitely, but that he could nonetheless be defeated once the truth comes out. POV: Imelda and Héctor to Ernesto.

#music #character analysis #imelda/ernesto/héctor #the ot3

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acoolguyscoollife · 4 years ago

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Chapter 41: Man, It’s A Hot One

“You’re listening to KBL Radio, the #1 station for summertime magic and music, and now, here’s Santana and Rob Thomas with Smooth.”

The radio’s signal was surprisingly good, given that it was just a couple of parts that Tabitha had thrown together, and it definitely added to the atmosphere I’d been going for on the roof. In fact, just about everything that had some semblance of normal technology was just something Tabitha had made herself as some sort of challenge. It wouldn’t have been so bad, had she not had the habit of taking apart pre-existing technology to make her other things. I missed my iPod. As the beginning guitar riff started, I took a moment to adjust my sunglasses a little, finding they were slipping down my face from the small layer of sweat that had accumulated from sunbathing for as long as I had. I wasn’t particularly interested in getting a tan, but this weather was too good to pass up laying up here, especially considering it was rare to have bright, sunny days like this in the UK.

For once, I wasn’t the only one wearing sunglasses, with just about everyone else on the roof sporting them too, though nowhere near as good as my own. It had been a few weeks since the school reunion, and the group had split into two. Paul and Amy were the two communicators of the group since that just made sense, and we’d split into having Rose in charge of the secondary group, with all the people I was slightly less familiar with over there. Thinking about the rest of my group got me pondering something, and I opened my eyes and looked around the roof. It was only me, Amy and Aki (who was, as cats normally did, asleep in the sun) up here, and while Tabitha being hard at work wasn’t too unexpected, Seth not being up here goofing off was odd to me. Where was he?

Seth

“So whatcha up to?” I asked, breaking an incredibly awkward silence that had formed since my last attempt at breaking the very same awkward silence. Tabitha was at her computer, as usual, though with about ten box fans pointed at her to keep her cool. I had been trying to work up the nerve to mention what we’d talked about in the grid, but so far it wasn’t easy. Adrenaline had been pumping for everyone there, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know whether Tabitha was being serious anymore. Nonetheless, I owed it to myself to get a straight answer, which was why I’d basically tagged along with her like a lapdog.

“The same thing I was doing the last time you asked.” Tabitha responded in a monotone, not looking away from the screen. As easy as it was to just say that I needed a straight answer, actually working up the nerve to ask for one was a lot harder. “Which is to say, whatever comes to me. Mary told us to just do our things, and I guess for me that means… this.” She paused for a moment before letting out an aggravated groan. “This is so bullshit! We’re just… existing!” I watched awkwardly as Tabitha brought up her knees and placed her elbows against her legs, head in her hands. I had a feeling she was going stir-crazy, and I couldn’t blame her. There had been a whole lot of nothing happening, and I would have given anything to get out of this seemingly endless loop of boring.

“Well, what do you want to do?” I asked her, emphasising my word to remind her that we were supposed to be doing whatever we felt like. Her glasses were perched precariously at the end of her nose as she looked up at me, so she had to tilt her head at a weird angle to actually be able to see me, which made her eyes look weirdly small. “Whatever you want to do, you’re right, apparently.” A small smile broke out on her face, as she began to type with renewed vigour.

“First off, we’re finding somewhere with a better temperature to relax in. My brain feels like it’s frying here.” It was refreshing to see Tabitha with this much energy, smiling as multiple different numbers and statistics flashed across the screen. I had asked her to teach me about the different meanings of what was on there, but we hadn’t gotten much further than me remembering the code that was assigned to our universe. It wasn’t something I’d need to know any time soon, thankfully, since Tabitha would be around to do it for me. “Second, I’m curious about that whole Omega thing that Mary mentioned, so I’m going to look into cross-referencing the Greek numeral system with other dimensions and see if it gives me anything interesting. Who knows, maybe that’s the lead that we needed to act on.” I watched the screen as multiple symbols flashed across it, and while I wasn’t fluent in Greek, it didn’t take an expert of context clues to realise what they were. “Third, I’m gonna ask what’s on your mind, since you’ve been lurking here for a while.” I wasn’t aware it was possible to choke on my own breath, but I somehow managed to as she asked this, caught off guard almost immediately. I mean, in retrospect it must have been obvious, but I still hadn’t expected that to be the next sentence out of her mouth.

“I… uh…” I stammered out, feeling my face turn even redder than the sun had made it. Tabitha had turned to look at me now, and I knew that playing dumb would get me nowhere. Unfortunately, my mind had decided that now was the perfect time to shut off my ability to actually speak. And even if I could, what was I going to say? That I felt awkward about the last proper conversation we’d had, that I wasn’t sure about where the two of us stood now, that… wait, that was exactly what I needed to say. “I’m… uh… feeling a little weird after the last conversation we had.” Eloquent as ever, Seth. Tabitha took a moment to think back onto the last conversation, clearly only realising what our last proper conversation had been just now.

“Oh.” She said, no obvious change of expression on her face. “Okay.” I don’t know exactly what she means by it, but it seems vaguely positive, and I wait in anticipation for where she goes next. The silence after that lasts for longer than I’d expect it to, however, and I realise that was probably my cue to say something more.

“Everything we said… it wasn’t just heat of the moment, was it?” I asked, hating myself as I asked it. The question dripped with doubt of Tabitha and I’s truthfulness, as much as I tried to frame it as just a question. I knew she’d know what I meant, or at least I hoped, but it still stung to even say.

“Seth, of course not.” I hadn’t noticed I was looking at my feet until she spoke again, and I felt any anxiety wash out of me as I looked up and saw her smiling. “I’ve just been thinking a lot. I want to be in control of my own destiny, but with the whole Mary thing, am I actually?” Tabitha’s ponderings seemed unrelated, but I waited for her to continue nonetheless. “Prophecies aren’t set in stone. We proved that with Untermeyer and… everything that happened. As much as I loved Uchen, he was definitely not the most loyal that The Elder mentioned.” I had almost forgotten the first prophecy at this point. It all felt like it was so long ago. “But I’m worried that prophecy wasn’t quite what we thought it was. Our numbers only just grew, after all.”

“You think the entire prophecy hasn’t happened yet?” I asked, and Tabitha sucked her teeth for a moment before responding.

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” Hearing Tabitha say that she was unsure of something was a rare occasion, and I’d have poked fun if it wasn’t for the fact that not knowing right now was definitely not something to make fun of. “But I don’t know enough about this shit to make judgements. I want to be in control of my own destiny, no matter what. I need to know that if I make a choice, it’s because it’s what I know I would do.”

“So you’re waiting to go out with me?” I had pieced it together at this point, and the conversation left a dull feeling in my stomach, like I’d swallowed a small boulder.

“What if, and bear with me because I know this is stupid paranoia shit, I’m setting events in motion by acting like I feel like I should instead of how I actually want to? If the first prophecy wasn’t about Uchen and Untermeyer and was about what’s yet to come, I don’t want to spark the flames that start that.” This was clearly something Tabitha had been thinking about a lot, and I was sure she knew of the holes in that theory before I pointed them out, but I still felt like I had to.

“But that same argument could be made about you not doing that.” I pointed out, and she nodded.

“Exactly. Which is why I’m waiting until I’m 100% certain that you and I are supposed to happen. Because I know that any action I take that I’m 100% certain of is aimed at changing that future.” Tabitha finally finished her rambling word-vomit, looking at me expectantly as I took in everything she said.

“You’re aware you’re a crazy person?” I asked, bluntly.

“Oh, absolutely. For all I know this could be a total waste of time, considering I do like you and it’s more of a case of whether it happens now or later. But hey, might as well be certain that the time is right.” Tabitha’s eyes never dropped from me, despite the hand gestures she made idly as she spoke. “Are you… alright with all this? My stupid crazy stuff?” It was only for a moment, but I heard the uncertainty in her voice. A slight quaver in the words, eyes glancing away for a second. It took me a moment to think of the answer. It felt unnecessary to me. It probably was. But at the end of the day, was it my place to say?

“What sort of gentleman would I be if I got annoyed at you for waiting? After all, if all goes well I shouldn’t sour things by being a douche now. It’s just a small delay, that’s all.” I replied, and Tabitha let out a laugh that was almost definitely a cover for her relief.

“I’d call you many things, but a gentleman is not one of them, Seth.” Tabitha’s regular smile had returned, the cocky one that warmed my insides whenever I saw it. The confidence was back, and more bountiful than ever.

“Well, m’lady, mayhaps I need to prove myself of how courteous I can be.” I said, mock-gesturing and bowing until I was almost at a 90 degree angle. In return, she swatted me on the head gently, still laughing.

“Dumbass.” She said in an annoyed tone, but her smile as I stood back up gave away her happiness. “Anyway, we’ve got work to do. You should probably grab the others.” I nodded, each of my steps as I ran to the stairs to get the others taking me off the ground with how bubbly and full of energy I felt. Nothing could go wrong today.

Cool Guy

Immediately, the chill wind of the new dimension bit at my bare skin, arms prickling and feeling as if they were burning from the bitter cold. I quickly retrieved my leather jacket from the pocket world that we’d stored a lot of stuff in, which still stunned me with how it managed to work so well with what I was trying to get.

“Where… the hell… are we?” Seth said, shivering as he tried to move his muscles enough to gesture for his own jacket, but was unable to stop reflexively hugging himself to maintain his warmth. I turned to Tabitha, wanting to know the very same, but the shock on her face told me that she definitely wasn’t expecting this.

“We’re… this is…” She stammered, not hit by the cold but instead by fear. “This world is supposed to be like our own. I thought it was winter here, but the readings say that it’s the same time of year.” I looked at the snow falling from the sky as Tabitha checked, double-checked, and triple-checked her watch. The middle of summer, and it was snowing. But that wasn’t the noteworthy part. The horizon, barely visible through the snowfall, was a bleak, grim red, and a cliché, yet foreboding dark spire reached up to the clouds. Whatever had happened in this world, it wasn’t good.

“What the hell happened here?”

#cool guy #A Cool Guy's Cool Life #story #creative writing

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