#<- the words of the desperate

[cinnabeat]

not map quizzes maps are my actual weakness

[mournfulroses]

Megan Nolan, from her novel titled "Acts of Desperation," originally published in March 2021

[itstimeforstarwars]

Did not find what i wanted on ao3. Did not find what I wanted on ffnet. Clicked on wattpad and then immediately decided I’m not that desperate actually.

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I cannot wait for this Stan to reconnect with his Ford.

I still haven't figured out HOW exactly they'll meet yet, but I do think that Ford would ATTACH himself to Stanley and talk his ears off forever when they eventually get comfortable :] and Stanley would listen because HOLY SHIT, THAT'S HIS BRO HE HASN'T SEEN FOR 40-ISH YEARS, HE MISSED HIS VOICE. Nonstop certified Yapper & Listener relationship <3

Stanley looks dead faced because of his ingrained poker face, but he's thouroughly enjoying it, even if sometimes he has no idea what the fuck Ford is saying. He never interrupts him though, since he knows people usually ignore or interrupt him mid-talk already. So sometimes Stan gets stuck in awkward situations where he has to leave or do stuff, but also doesn't have it in his heart to stop Ford and extract himself out of a (one-sided) conversation.

[thenationofzaun]

1x2 : Some Mysteries Are Better Left Unsolved

2x2 : Watch It All Burn

[heybiji]

[justaz]

need arthur repealing the magic ban bc its the Right Thing To Do and merlin is ecstatic bc finally finally he can be himself and tell arthur the truth. he can stop lying and hiding!! and the the ban is repealed and magic is free and theres a feast held in celebration and merlin lugs arthur to his chambers since the king had a bit too much wine and the night is warm and golden and steeped with happiness. merlin lays arthur down in bed and arthur looks up at him with half-lidded eyes, glazed over and warm and filled with love, and he says some sappy shit about merlin being a good friend and how loyal he is.

merlin isnt sure why his words make a stone settle in his stomach but he brushes it off and goes to bed, telling himself that he’ll tell arthur everything in the morning. then morning comes around and merlin sits at the table while arthur is eating breakfast and opens his mouth to tell him when his throat closes up and no words escape him. arthur is confused but merlin distracts him by insulting him and postpones the conversation. he’s been hiding for years, maybe he just needs to take it slow, take baby steps, let his mind and body get used to the idea of being free first.

merlin waits another week and a half before trying again. same result. the words wont come out and he’s choking on this secret he thought he could fess up to now and it takes him so long to realize he’s terrified. he isn’t sure why bc helloooo the ban is lifted!! he won’t be put to death!! what’s the problem?? he had an easier time confessing to sorcery to uther when such a thing was still punishable by death. why is it so hard to tell his best friend the truth when he won’t be punished for it??

answer: telling arthur the truth would mean telling him how merlin has lied for years and how arthur has never truly known the man he calls his friend. arthur will be hurt and angry and he’ll feel betrayed and that is something merlin has seen time and time again and he has fought so hard to prevent yet here he is about to put the same expression on his face. he’s about to break arthur’s heart once more. he can’t do it. he has to. he’ll hurt him. it gets worse the longer merlin takes. arthur will hate him. oh gods arthur will hate him.

[girlatrocity]

yr so right fr the tgchk/3rdwheel tsuyu thing...,.... 3rdwheel i think underrated dynamic HEARMEOUT. hear me out.

1ly i love me some drama espcially in my freakships.

2ly it can be very funny. recently read a fic where one girl is like "shes talkingshitaboutme. shes sooooooo talkingshitaboutme" and her friend is like "OoooKay" (psychologically revealing)

like yeah you are acting like a weird obsessive freak. ackshually. and its funny and i wuv it. yr friends dont want you to kiss but iiiiiiiii do

freakship exactlyyy i love togachako being completely abnormal abt each other and Tsuyu being caught in the crossfire

AND IK PPL HATE LOVE TRIANGLES but wouldn't it be so funny if Tsuyu did have a little girlcrush on Ochako at first but eventually she mostly got over it + assumed she's straight, only to find herself getting dragged along for thinly veiled dates between her best friend and the girl that tried to kill them 1000 times isn't that so silly

[goneatlas]

when the amazing devil said "i cannot find the words to keep you" (new york torch song) and "if i'm good will you come back?" (two minutes) and "my entire life, it's running away too fast, watching everyone you ever loved walk past, never really quite getting the knack of knowing no one will ever come back for you" (pruning shears) and "nothing quite prepares you for when they don't come back" (ruin) and "would have stayed if you had asked but instead, you just walked past" (shower day)

but also "if only you could hear my voice but you are screaming far too loud to hear me swear, just because i left doesn't mean that i'm not still there" (welly boots) and "if i don't make it back from where i've gone just know i loved you all along" (inkpot gods)

[alluringlight]

Seth Lowell x (GN) Reader

NSFW, 18+ only

Warnings: rut themes/rut cycles, feral/rough sex, biting/mentions of blood, dom!Seth, sub!Reader, pre-established relationship, knotting-adjacent shenanigans as in it isn't knotting but thanks to his biology you get stuck together, mentions of overstimulation, slight praise, there's like one mention of breeding, no usage of [Y/N] or [Name] just 'you'

Word Count: 2941

Seth had been avoiding you recently. You hadn’t noticed at first, with how busy you both are, but when you actually thought about the last time you’d seen your boyfriend it had been almost a week. Albeit not that long of a time, but you lived together. 

You assumed it’d just been his work, the life of a Pub Sec officer could be pretty time consuming, and there have been stretches of time where you didn’t see each other much with him going in early or staying late enough he’d have to sleep at the precinct dorms, not to mention your own work keeping you busy. But this seemed more deliberate, he’d been sleeping at the dorms the past few days without returning home, which he normally would talk to you about if he had to sleep there for more than a night or two. 

The sound of your phone startled you, but you quickly checked the notification, hoping to see something from Seth. Instead, you have a message from Captain Zhu Yuan, asking you to pick Seth up from the office immediately. 

Anxiety swelled in your gut, as you messaged her back saying you were on your way. You knew Zhu Yuan would probably not want to tell you if he was injured over messaging, and you wanted to get to him as soon as possible if it was so serious that she messaged you herself. 

You tried to stop your spiraling thoughts (he must be unconscious if he couldn’t message himself), and instead focused on driving over without going over the speed limit (he’d feel awful if you got a ticket because you were worried about him). 

Walking into the precinct, upon seeing her you immediately ran to Qingyi. “Is Seth okay?” You asked, breath stuttering as you tried to calm yourself. 

She sighed, “He’s fine. I’d diagnose him as an idiot, but he’s fine.” 

“H-huh? I thought something happened, it sounded urgent.” 

She nodded in the direction of the employee break room. “Just go in there and you’ll see what I mean.” 

As you opened the door, you could hear Zhu Yuan scolding someone. “Doing things like this is detrimental to everyone here. You should have requested leave. You know better than this, honestly Seth.” 

Fully stepping into the room, you could see Seth sat at a couch, Zhu Yuan standing over him, her arms crossed. He looked haggard but unhurt, maybe he had a fever? His skin was red, and sweat dripped down his forehead. He seemed uncomfortable, shifting every few seconds or pulling at his vest and collar. 

“Um? Is everything okay?” You asked, causing both of them to snap towards you. 

“Please take him home. He has the next week off. While he’s on leave, please talk some sense into him.” Zhu Yuan said, shooting one last glance towards Seth before she made her way to the door. She squeezed your shoulder. “It’s nice to see you.” 

Once she shut the door behind her, you took a step towards him. A growl rumbled through him, surprising you, and him it seemed. His hand shot to his throat as he gasped. “Ah, sorry. I’m sorry.” 

Cautiously, you continued your pursuit, until you were right next to him. “Are you okay?” You had an inkling of what was happening, but you felt it’d be best to make sure. 

“Y-yeah.” Seth’s voice cracked, and he avoided your gaze. “I- sorry. I’m sorry.” His arms wrapped around your waist, and he buried his face into your stomach. One of your hands grasped onto the back of his head, running your fingers softly through his hair. You could hear his ragged breaths, and he seemed intent on sniffing you so you let him be until he felt like speaking. “I didn’t know how to bring it up, so I hid at work.” He started rambling, voice muffled as his face was still pressed into your stomach. “Which just made it worse, ‘cause then my rut started at work today. And I feel sick, but all I can think about right now is-” He cut himself off, immediately letting you go and standing up, brushing past you towards the door. “Sorry. We can, um, we can go home now.” 

“You started your rut today?” You asked, hand reaching out to grasp his arm. “Hey, it’s okay, look at me, love.” 

He turned to face you, and you could see his eyes watering. “I know it’s weird, but I didn’t know what to do I thought I had more time to figure something out, but the stress probably made it start early-” 

You cut him off with a kiss, pressing your lips to his for a chaste moment, before pulling him into a hug, tugging him down so his face rested in the crook of your neck. “It’s not weird, okay? Let’s get home first and we can talk about what you want to do.” His arms wrapped around you, squeezing you for a long moment before he pulled away, his hands lingering a moment longer than normal. 

The drive home was silent, the only sound the puffs of breath Seth was letting out, as he seemed to settle into the rut further. 

When you got into the house, he pulled you into him before pressing you against the front door. You could feel his breath as he smelled the back of your neck, and you shuddered as you felt his tongue lap at the flesh. 

“You smell so good,” he mumbled. He pushed further into you, until you could feel his erection, hard and heavy against you. After a long few moments, in which you could feel your own mind starting to cloud over with arousal just from him pressing into you, whatever daze he was in broke as he pulled away from you lightning quick. “Ah! Sorry!” His hands pressed together in an apologetic gesture as he squeezed his eyes closed, his ears pressed flat to his head. 

“Seth, it’s okay,” you said. His eyes opened, his hands falling to his sides as his head tilted in confusion, one of his ears twitching. “I’m not mad at you or anything. I wished you’d told me earlier, but it’s okay I get it. Do you want help?” 

Red crawled down his neck as he became embarrassed. “I-I mean yes, but I’m also scared.” 

“Of?” you prompted. 

He sighed, “Of hurting you. I don’t have good control when in this, um, state.” His eyes flickered away, and you could tell he felt flustered talking about the subject so blatantly. “And with my…unique anatomy,” His face flamed as he carefully chose his words, and you had to suppress a laugh. He looked so cute when he was feeling a little shy or embarrassed. He was just so stupidly earnest it drove you a little crazy. “I could easily hurt you.” He finally looked you in the eyes again, grasping your hands in his. “And I don’t want that. I don’t want to hurt you, especially not because of some stupid biological problem.” 

You squeezed his hands, giving him a bright smile. “Seth, I love you and I want to help. If you don’t want me to, or you aren’t ready to spend a rut with someone I can pack a bag and stay with a friend. But I do want to help, if you’d want the same.” 

“Then, thank you.” 

The two of you made it to the bedroom, and made quick work of stripping off your clothes. Seth settled between your legs, intent on preparing you before he lost his rationality to the next wave of rut. 

You gasped as he lapped at your hole, everytime you did this you’d be caught off guard by how rough his tongue is. He hummed, pushing his tongue into you immediately and buried himself into your sex. 

He prodded at your hole, mindful to keep his claws retracted as he began scissoring you open. As he added another finger, his face pulled away as he mouthed at your thigh, pressing kisses into it softly. “You smell divine,” he mumbled into the skin. “Makes it harder to focus…I want you to smell like me.” He pressed another kiss into your thigh, before biting down. You yelped, mostly from the shock as the bite wasn’t that deep. Seth began purring as he lapped at the bite mark, licking away the small pinpricks of blood. You knew the mark would surely bruise. You bit your lip, holding in a whine as his fingers targeted a sensitive spot. 

You whimpered as you felt him bite down on the tender flesh of your thigh again. “That’s no good. Don’t hold in anything, wanna hear it all okay?” You nodded in assent, and he licked at the new bite mark. “Good. Sweet little thing.” You whined at the combination of his nimble fingers inside you and the praise. It made you a little weak in the knees, and had you close to cumming already with how he was abusing your weak points. 

The last push was when he pressed his tongue into you again, the muscle lapping at you, his saliva making  everything messier as you came on his fingers. He coaxed you through it, fingers curling into you, tongue still laving at you until you pushed him away as you became overly sensitive. 

He pulled himself up, slotting himself between your thighs, holding them over his hips as he stared down at you. His breathing was heavy, short puffs of air escaping his lips, and his face was pink from the heat he felt. His eyes were hazy as he looked at you, hands gripping your hips as he pushed himself closer to you. His cock was a deep red, slightly more pointed than a normal human’s, and the head had these little bump-like structures, that you knew in actuality were small barbs that would catch when he came. Seth’s cock bumped against you and he whined, lining himself up with your hole before he caught himself. “Can I?” He asked, voice strained as he waited for your approval. 

You nodded, slinging your arms around his neck to pull him closer as his cock split you open. You gasped, accidentally clenching down on him, causing him to let out a hiss before bucking his hips and sheathing himself in you in one fluid stroke. You let out a whine at the sudden stretch, and he remained still, trying to let you acclimate to his size. You could feel his hot breath on your neck as he panted, his muscles taut and tense as he waited, the last string of his rationality frayed but not yet snapped. 

“Seth, it’s okay,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to his ear. “Take what you need, baby.” 

At your words he growled, you could feel the deep vibration emanating from his chest, before he quickly snapped his hips, his cock nearly leaving you empty before he fucked himself back into you in the next moment. Your breath left you as he quickly pistoned himself in and out, focused on the heat of you around him and nothing else. 

When you finally regained the ability to take a breath in, it was quickly leaving you in short gasps, or small whimpering moans. The noises you made only served to spur Seth on further, pressing himself further into you, faster, faster, faster, until your nails were clawing into his back in an attempt to hold onto your sanity. The bite of pain caused him to let out a moan as he clawed into your waist, leaving small pinpricks of blood in the wake of his claws. 

His hands moved upwards, pawing at your chest as he slowed down enough to latch himself to your nipple. He purred as he licked and sucked, nipping it occasionally, as his other hand kneaded your other nipple. He locked eyes with you, his pupils slit as he indulged in you. One of his ears twitched, his eyes half lidded as the volume of his purring increased. He could feel you tensing around him, the onslaught of pleasure had you close to cumming once again. 

Seth pulled away from your chest, bracing a hand on the bed while the other grabbed at your hip, before he rammed into you again and again and again, faster and faster and faster, until finally, you came around him, a loud moan leaving you as you dug your nails into his back deeper. 

“Good, sweet little mate, so sensitive,” he babbled. “Need to, h-hah,” He pulled out of you, coaxing you to flip over, and put a pillow below your hips so your ass was raised up, your sex displayed before him. He shoved back in, no care for your oversensitivity that had tears pricking at your eyes. He caged you in below him, laying his weight over you, one of his arms snaking under your arm, his hand grasping the top of your shoulder so you couldn’t move away from him. “Need to breed you. Have to, you have to take it,” he said, his voice vibrating with a growl as he began to fuck into you with earnest once again. 

With the new position, you could feel him deeper than before, causing you to let out whimpering moans as he fucked you through your oversensitivity, his cock deep enough you felt like you could practically feel it in your throat as he thrust into you. His hand reached down to grab at your hip, before it settled on your ass, pulling you further into, forcing you to arch against him with nowhere to go as his body remained settled over top of you. 

You could feel his shaky breath on the back of your neck, the hot puffs of air causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand on end. You could feel his cock twitch within you, the small barbs on the head of his cock beginning to swell, each desperate thrust into you causing them to poke and prod at every sensitive spot within you. 

Despite having just cum, you could feel yourself building back up to that precipice. You could feel his claws digging into you, into your shoulder and into your ass, as his other hand had you tightly in his grasp, keeping your sex spread open for him as he thrust into you. 

Seth pressed a kiss to the back of your neck, before his rough tongue began licking at your flesh. He nipped at the skin, pressing one last kiss to the sensitive area before he growled, his jaws opening wide as he dug his fangs deep into your neck. 

You cried out, bucking against him in shocked surprise, adrenaline kickstarting your pulse, your heart thumping in your chest like a jittery rabbit. He kept his fangs locked onto your neck, growling when you jerked in his hold, clamping down onto you, his prey, making sure you knew you weren’t going anywhere. 

The sensation of blood trickling down your neck became apparent, the hot liquid trailing down until it stained the sheets beneath you. He grasped onto you tighter, his thrusts becoming impossibly more powerful, until you felt like you could feel him everywhere. You couldn’t focus on anything but his cock bucking into you, his fangs in your neck, and his claws digging painfully into your skin. 

You felt yourself reach your peak once more, clenching down and cumming on his cock. You could feel a growl building in his throat, before he shoved himself in deep, cum spurting out of him and into you. He half thrusted, trying to shove his cum as deep within you as he could, before the barbs on the head of his cock caught onto you, leaving him completely in you and unable to pull out as he kept cumming within you, the amount a little uncomfortable as it filled you up so completely. 

He finally pulled his teeth out your neck, purrs rumbling in his chest as he began licking at the wound, lapping at the blood before it began to coagulate. He kept you pinned to the bed, and you began to feel drowsy, tired after the exertion. 

Seth pushed his face into your neck, his arms wrapping around your waist as he rolled the two of you onto your sides, careful not to dislodge you and accidentally rip himself out. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you any further. 

He pulled you flush against him, his breath returning to normal as he looked you over. “Are you okay?” he asked, voice shaky, tinged with worry as he eyed up the small wounds he’d given you. 

“Mm,” you hummed, reaching a hand back to pat at his hair, briefly rubbing his ears before pulling it back to wrap around his hands at your waist. “I’m okay, don’t worry.” 

“Are you sure?” 

You let out a tired laugh. “I’m sure. Feel full,” Between the inhuman amount of cum he let out, and his cock still snug within you, that was a bit of an understatement. “But I feel good, just tired, promise.” 

He let out a shuddery breath. “Okay. Try to rest, I’m not sure when I’ll, uh, feel the next wave, but, um, when I’m able to dislodge, I’ll clean you up.” 

“Sounds good,” you replied. You took one of his hands and raised it to your lips, kissing his knuckles, before you tucked it back around your waist. He squeezed you in response, the rumbling of his purring lulling you to sleep.

[mournfulroses]

Megan Nolan, from her novel titled "Acts of Desperation," originally published in March 2021

[somegrumpynerd]

I like the idea that Cross realised Killer was touchstarved (he didn't have the words for it but he noticed how much Killer would settle down from it) and started giving him very small basic affection. Pat on the back, hand on the shoulder, maybe a quick friendly hug, all things he probably learned through royal guard training and thinks of as normal friend/coworker stuff.

But as they both got more comfortable in the routine of it, Killer started instigating touches and he was not shy about it (like not just leaning into Cross's side during movie night, he looks like he's trying to get into Cross's jacket with him)

And that this more intense affection made Cross realise he might also be just a little bit touchstarved

Bonus:

[merakiui]

AHHH BEING SEXUALLY BULLIED BY EELS FOR REFUSING TO SIGN AZUL’S CONTRACT 💖💖💖💖

ESPECIALLY IF UR A STUBBORN LITTLE THING WHO HAS TOO MUCH PRIDE FOR THEIR OWN GOOD

VIBRATORS AND FINGERING AND EATING OUT 🙏

AFTER AWHILE AZUL JUST LEANING OVER CONTRACT IN HAND ASKING IF “perhaps you’ve changed ur mind due to…circumstances?”

AND WHEN U TELL HIM TO “G-GO ToO he-HELL”

HE JUST SMIRKS “perhaps another half an hour then?”

BEFORE 2 GRINNING EELS GO BACK TO MAKING U SCREAMMMMMM

ENOUGH IDEAS TO FANTASIES ABOUT FOR A MONTH 💖💖💖

YEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

Quite literally tossing you to the eels. >:) and they know just how to make you squirm and squeal. They don’t even have to restrain you. They’re strong enough to manhandle you and it’s not like you can push them off. But then it’s also humiliating when, rather than continuing to shove at them, you grab at their shoulders and try to pull them closer. Your resolve melts away after a third orgasm and by then all you can really think about is how good it feels even though you really should try harder to remain in control of your wits. >_<

Long tongues poking and prodding at your deepest place, hands roaming your feverish body, Floyd’s mouth at your neck, his teeth scraping over your pulse….. not quite gnawing, but there’s enough pressure to feel the prominent points of his teeth. So close to drawing blood and you almost beg him to do so, but that would be falling right into Octavinelle’s slimy fins!!! >:( or Jade who presses the softest kisses down your stomach towards your sex, but he’s wearing such a sharp grin the whole time that you think he’s about to devour you. And devour he does when he forces your legs open and presses his face into your crotch, his tongue flicking out to taste you. Ravenous eel who won’t let you know a moment of peace. If they were underwater, you suspect it’d be even more torturous because then they wouldn’t need to pull away to breathe. At least you’re spared that…

And when they’ve finally exhausted your limits, you’re tacky and gross and covered in all kinds of fluids—some of them are your own and the others… those terrible eels!!!!! >:( so tired that you don’t even jerk away when Azul bends down to your height and lifts your chin, a gentle smile on his face as he offers you a soothing cup of tea and a warm bath, complete with a bed to sleep your aches off in (his bed, of course). All you need to do is sign this contract.

If you’re desperate for the aftercare promised to you by the conniving yet strangely sweet in a crooked way octopus, you’ll sign. What other choice do you have? The illusion of a free choice when in reality your hand has been forced nudged considerably.

[wasteland-wrecker]

CW: violence, death. Fallout New Vegas spoilers.

Grudge.

<Part 1>

Part 2

<Part 3>

[s0fter-sin]

saw a tweet about mer!ghost being rescued from roba by price and placed in his rehab facility that soap lives in after a boat propeller injured his tail and now i’m obsessed with the idea that ghost thinks he's traded one hell for another and when he sees the beached shark mer with a human device strapped to his tail, it's all but confirmed for him

the pens they’re in are poorly designed; they’re huge, deep with glass walls but completely open to each other and it takes nothing to pull himself over the edge into the the other mer's cage. he swims over to the platform he’s trapped on and hushes what he thinks is panicked warnings and fearful pleading. he covers his mouth and begs him to stay quiet; ghost is bigger and as an injured mer, he has every right to fear he'd take his territory if not eat him outright but he can’t escape and leave this mer behind to endure his fate

he promises he won't hurt him, promises he'll find a way to free them both from this human prison

the mer quiets, eyes narrowing in such human confusion that it makes him ache; this mer has been here too long, to have adopted their mannerisms and abandoned any hope of freedom

ghost quickly checks their surroundings, ensuring none of their jailers heard the mer's noises. no one disturbs them and he pulls the mer off the platform into the water, diving under his tail to get a better look at the trap. the mer tries to pull away, tries to get him to stop; it must hurt something awful if even freedom isn't enough of a temptation to try removing it

ghost winds his own tail around him, immobilising the mer and uses his teeth to tear through the trap and his heart breaks to see how his poor tail has been mangled; more than half of it gone, deep scarring left in its wake

he releases the mer and jets back to the surface; he’s wasted too much time, they need to hurry before the humans return. but when he looks to coax the mer through an escape, he sees him sinking to the floor like a stone, writhing and moving his arms in an attempt to swim but nothing stops his fall

ghost ducks back down and takes the mer in his arms-

only to rear back when he claws him away, baring his fangs in a threat display even as he sinks back to the floor, unmoving

ghost circles him, confused why he won't let him help when he sees him start to suffocate. he's a shark mer; if he doesn't swim, he can't breathe

and with only half a tail, he can't swim at all

ghost tries again but the mer won’t let him close so he waits for his eyes to begin to flutter and charges in, grabbing the mer out of reach of his claws and fangs and drags him through the water; forcing precious oxygen into his gills

he swims in circles until the mer comes to, sluggishly clawing at his arms but he refuses to let go. he won't leave this mer behind, even if he has to carry him through the ocean for the rest of their lives

but they took too long

a human enters and sees ghost holding the injured mer and hits something that makes the walls screech, red flashing from the ceiling, and even more human come charging in. ghost clutches the injured mer to his chest and hisses, saliva flying from his bared fangs

he won't let them hurt him any more

he spins, trying to keep them all in his sight- when the shark mer's fin slaps him in the face. his arms slacken around him and he throws himself at one of the walls of the cage, gripping it to hold himself up

ghost stares at him, betrayed and enraged; they've broken this poor mer until he doesn't even know who his true allies are anymore

his tail thumps against the wall, instinctively trying to swim and support his weight and one of the humans drops to one knee. he throws an arm out, barking something and another human takes off running

he turns back to the injured mer, grabbing hold of his arm and ghost hisses again, rushing them both when the mer snarls at him to stop and he freezes. he watches the mer hold his arms up and the human clasps his forearms and stands, walking him along the border of his cage back to the platform he'd been beached on

but he chirps as the human tugs him up on it, curling up with the end of his tail just barely dipping in the water

like he's happy

the wailing and flashing lights abruptly stop and ghost fights the urge to shake the echoing ring from his ears. the other human returns and he doesn't fight the hiss when he sees another trap in his arms; the same one the mer had around his tail

ghost's hiss cuts off when he gets a face full of water and he splutters, looking back incredulously at the shark mer who'd just splashed him

he laughs at whatever look is on his face and rolls his eyes in another painfully human gesture. he reaches for the trap, fingers flexing like he's trying to pull it right out of the air and the human shakes his head as he hands it over

the mer lifts his tail onto the platform and ghost can't believe his eyes when he fits the trap onto himself; tightening every strap until the muscles of his tail bulge under the pressure. the mer slumps like he's relieved and shoots him a look; daring and almost playful and winks as he throws himself into the water

ghost lunges for him, waiting for him to sink again-

but he's not sinking

he's swimming

he twirls and spins around him like an overgrown dolphin, flaunting his strength and agility and the humans around them laugh and shake their heads at the display like they’re used to it and ghost realises it isn't a trap on his tail

it is his tail

the humans gave him a new tail

the mer flicks to a stop in front of him, now easily supporting his weight and gives him a full-fanged grin

"you're a little tangled up inside, huh, big boy?"

[yayll]

~ a little something about Beast Dazai and his inability to let you go ~

Your hand trembles as you're about to knock on the massive office doors and you wonder if you're about to make the biggest mistake of your life.

You got too close working for this terribly lonely man, and now you're knocking at his door with the only solution you can think of to put an end to your silly infatuations that have gone on for longer than you'd want to admit and can possibly handle. You open the door slowly, and walk into the elegant and massive office space, your eyes falling right onto the dark haired man in all black hunched over the desk, scribbling away as if he didn't hear you come in. You walk quietly, and when you reach the wooden desk, your voice comes out soft and firm.

"Dazai, sir? I wanted to speak to you about something sensitive, if I may."

You chew on the corner of your bottom lip, but quickly compose yourself when you see the face of the man you've spent so much time with, the unfortunate love of your life. if it weren't for his Maroon scarf, he'd look like nothing but a black void. A burnt Black cat. He looks up, narrowed eyes scan you as he takes a sip of his tea, replying in a monotonous tone.

"What is it?"

"After much consideration, I think.. I need to leave the Port Mafia. We've worked together for quite a while now, and I can assure you it's not about the quality or enjoyment of my work. You don't even have to acknowledge this beyond me simply saying it, I just have to confess something that makes my heart ache. You make my heart ache. I know how unprofessional that sounds and that you have no use for such affections, but I can't keep pretending. It's why I think it's time for me to move onto something else otherwise my work will become disrupt-"

A lifted finger is shoved into your face, signaling you to stop, and so you do. Of course you do. You always had a habit of word vomiting when you were anxious. Dazai is staring down at his tea, and he stays quiet for a long time, trying to pick what emotion he can mask his real outraged ones with. Finally, he flashes you an unbothered look, his eyes half lidded as they taunt you. A cruel smirk curls onto his lips.

"Oh? What an awful time for your honesty! I'm currently drowning in work and responsibilities, ones that you're supposed to aid me with, actually. Thus, I have no use for your confession." He simply says.

You can feel a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. You expected this. Looking down at your shoes, you chew on your lip again.

"I had to tell you.. Like I said, you can just forget about it."

"Well you see, that's the problem. I can't forget it. The moment you uttered those nasty little words to me, I realized I have to carry the weight of finding a new secretary. And I resent that."

He looks away for a brief second, his words are bitter and laced with what sounds like remorse and irritation.

You cross your arms and sigh, your voice comes out lower than your confidence.

"I just thought that we were... I suppose I should have never dared to assume you'd ever see me as more than a-"

He instantly leans over his desk, now placing a finger on your lip, his voice just above a whisper.

"... And though these feelings you have for me may be inconvenient, it doesn't mean that they're unwelcome."

He lets his finger rest on your lips for just a second too long, meanwhile you're frozen in place feeling like your chest is going to collapse in on itself. His voice becomes softer.

"Sit, please."

You sit down, now facing each other. It's quiet for a few moments as you both study each other's expressions. This form of intimacy was unusual to everyone else but the two of you, having spent countless hours in the past working across one another without uttering a single word, yet communicating in perfect sync. You were a part of each other's routines, a never ending spiral. Dazai feels himself teetering on the edge of something dangerous, something peeling away at his very soul. He's usually so arrogant and domineering, but in this instant, he suddenly feels an exhaustion wash over him trying to keep that going. He's kept it going for so long, he forgot that he doesn't like doing it with you. You don't deserve to be a part of all of this, and he doesn't deserve to want you.

Oh how he loathes his true identity: A simple man. A human man. Your man.

When he can't take it anymore, he slowly creeps his bandaged hand on top of yours, applying light pressure, but his eyes don't dare look into yours. Not yet. Finally, you break the silence, staring down with furrowed brows at the way your hands fit around one another. You mutter under your breath, tired of being vague.

"What are we to each other, Dazai? I mean really?"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you?" He snorts, trying to cling to the last of his cruelty but failing as he lets his emotions sway his judgement.

You sigh, flipping your hand over so that your fingers can fully intertwine.

"I just don't know how I could ever take up any space in your mind. I didn't think you noticed whether I stayed or left."

He looks up, flashing you a mildly offended look, his sharp eyes narrowing. He scoffs quietly, dropping your hand and standing up from his desk. He walks over to you, his full height now looming. He bends down and scolds you.

"What an obscene thing to say. You're invaluable. You have always been occupying my mind, every minute, every second, every microsecond. I always notice. I'd notice even if I was on my deathbed."

Your breath catches in your throat, and you finally manage to swallow the lump that's building up as you stare up at your reckoning.

"I just- I'd never try to leash you, sir."

His eyes soften, and he tilts his head slightly. You drive him mad with the way you don't realize what a dog he is for you. His voice comes out strained.

"You wouldn't need to. And don't call me that. You know my name, and as your superior l'm ordering you to address me properly."

Your cheeks flush, and you part your lips, letting out the breath you can't stop holding. A faint smile appears on your face, and you stand up slowly to meet him.

"You're like the moon, you know? You control everything like the tides. You control me, Osamu."

He shakes his head, and sighs deeply. If only you could see how wrong you were. He steps closer, moving his hand up your arm gently as he trails his way to your collarbone with ghost-like strokes.

"Did you know that sometimes when I'm laying in bed, all alone after a long day of controlling things, my only thoughts are about you?"

He confesses, sincerely. Dazai brings his face inches from yours, his voice now becoming a pleading whisper. His hand travels down to your waist, gripping it gently.

"Do you find it hard to believe that you bring me to my knees, the big scary Port Mafia boss? Because if so, you're a great fool! I love spending my time with you. I quite literally need you by my side in my times of need and at any random and mundane moment that passes. It brings me unimaginable joy when you nag me to get more sleep, especially when I don't listen because I can't wait to hear you say it over and over again. I don't like it when you have plans, or when you report to anyone else but me. I want you to stay with me tonight and every single night after and I don't care how awful this sounds. I don't care about you having a life outside of me."

Your throat feels tight, eyes wide at the fervor of his words alone. You reply with a shaky breath.

"Every single night after?"

"Every. Single. Night. After..."

"As if we were together?"

"We are together." He declares as if it were obvious this entire time.

Hearing Dazai be so blunt makes your mind fog over quickly, a whiplash of feelings that you never thought would ever see the light of day suddenly surface. He feels the same, realizing how much he's given away to you in such a short amount of time, but for him it's been rotting inside for years. He's been held together by the glue of your support too long not to kneel for you now. It's over for him, he's run out of masks to wear. He slowly guides your body backwards towards the opulent leather couch at the center of the room. You stop when you feel yourself backing up into the cool pebbled hide, and he slowly lowers you down onto your back with his arms supporting you. He delicately hovers over you, looking deeply into your eyes as he takes in the way your bodies feel against each other. For a moment he worries he might actually be trembling.

His breath hitches when you place a hand on the bandaged side of his face that covers his left eye. You stroke the fabric lightly, eyes twinkling with unfiltered adoration. He thinks about the only other person who's ever looked at him with such reverence, and how painful it is not to be able to tell his best friend he's in love. He leans into your touch, humming softly and closing his eyes as he molds his lips deeply into yours. It's not a kiss of sexual desire. This is a kiss born of romance and intimacy, a mutual oath of surrender. cold bandaged hands instinctively wander your body, starting at the waist down to your hips, and slowly exploring the plush of your thighs, kneading them. He runs them higher, lightly tracing your ribs with his index finger while the other hand cups your face. Dazai's mouth moves gently, and slowly pulls away from yours with a soft whine. His fingers trace your jawline as he stares at you. You taste like milk and honey. Like the moon and rain. He smiles at you, eyes sparkling like the night sky. You feel his heartbeat against your body. Every single pore of your skin is connected.

"Please— don't leave the Port Mafia, and don't leave me alone... Not tonight. Not ever. I'd become a tyrant without you."

"Is that also an order?" You murmur in between shallow breaths, dreamy eyes trained on him.

His eyes flicker over to your lips for a moment, then return to your eyes. His voice drops to something that resembles a soft whimper.

"Noo. No, it's not. I could never demand anything from you. But if you'll allow me to act selfishly, I just want to make you happy, to see you smile. I want you to keep greeting me with that tea you make every morning before our meetings. I also never want to hear you call me 'Sir' again. I am not your boss or your friend... I'm so much more than that. We've always been together. We will always be together— Is this too much?"

You shake your head, smiling uncontrollably at the way Dazai rambles in this moment, it's a side of him you've never seen in all the years you've known him. A stark contrast from the detached and cruel presence that frightens others on an almost daily basis. This seems like a person pretending to be the boss of the Port Mafia, an almost perfect imitation. You're not sure what barriers within him had to break for him to become the mushy and needy mess you see before you and what it all means in the long run, but you dismiss it for now. You get the feeling this might be the real Osamu Dazai. And that excites you.

"Never too much. I'm here and I'm staying. I would always stay."

He chuckles, it's a broken shaky laugh bordering on a sob. He buries himself in your neck, smiling against your soft skin, nibbling on it. He lightly runs his tongue against the mark he leaves, and slowly lifts his gaze to meet yours

"... I know you would. You always do."

You tilt your head, and hum in mild confusion at his odd little comment.

"Do you know something I don't?"

He flashes you a knowing smile and speaks prophetically as he lightly traces a finger over a large vein on your neck, following it down to your soft chest. He murmurs lazily while bringing his lips down to where he won't be able to get them off for the rest of the night.

"I know everything, silly.~"

The Port Mafia can wait, he's going home first.