#<- suffering as a Mafuyu fan

[rosenlied]

Being a Mafuyu fan is fun

[sylhea-raemi]

next shiraishi an event is gonna be bout for beside you part 2 with worse trust issues (thanks ken), worse abandonment issues, worse inferiority feeling

[am4ura]

So I had this AU idea that is idk complicated but I need to share it somehow.

So basically what if the unit leaders / sekai owners were spirits linked to their Sekai, that in this case is more like a domain.

Leonii's instead of a school would be a space like zone. Mmj's instead of a stage would be a sky, kinda similar to the background in "hear me hopeful show" set. Empty Sekai would stay kind of the same. I haven't had any ideas for street or wonderland Sekai.

The Sekai owners (or Sekai spirits) have all characteristics relevant to their Sekai.

Ichika is mostly made of stars and nebulae. With her hair and parts of her body moving and flowing around. She also has hollow eyes that light up with little stars when she's happy.

Minori Is a mix of an Angel and a light being. She's mostly made of light, but has a projection of her body making her look kinda like a biblically accurate angel? She has lots of feathers around her body and a bandage covering her eyes (that are completely made of blinding lights)

Kohane is made of coloured smokes, like the ones of spray pain bottles. She can change colour and size based on her appearance. She can also turn herself into graffiti. She does that a lot to blend in and hide.

Tsukasa shares a lot of characteristics with an hippogryph, with mane and wings of light/fire. He also has hooves instead of feet. Like. A mix of a phoenix and a Pegasus.

Mafuyu (not kanade BC mafuyu is the Sekai owner) is very similar to a banshee. Ghostly and transparent appearance, covered in veils to hide herself and her suffering. She would also kinda look like a ragdoll, with parts of her body and face stitched together.

There are lots of legends about these sekais and Sekai spirits. It's said that if you're too passionate about something or too determined to reach a goal, you will get absorbed by one of these domains and eaten by the spirit. These Sekai spirits are also said to be lost kids with a big passion for something, but never managed to make it a thing.

So imagine the other members of the unit being so determined with their music, that one day they all wake up in this unknown unreal place and find basically a god just chilling there.

The Sekai spirits are all very lonely at the end and they just wanted someone to spend time with.

Ichika would at first be shy and try to not approach the rest of leoneed in fear of scaring them or be a burden, but in the end they would all try to make her smile and feel less lonely (Saki does the first steps), since it reminded them of their lost childhood friend.

Minori would immediately rush to get to know mmj. She gets captivated by all of them in a short time and would admire their beauty and their grace. At first mmj is kinda overwhelmed by this bright (eheh) presence, but they quickly start to love her. Haruka in particular, finding the way this spirit talks similar to the way one of her fans would write her letters.

Kohane would at first hide, scared of people she doesn't know, but would then slowly introduce herself only to an. An gets immediately a big liking of her, seeing in kohane the perfect partner she kept seeing in her dreams. When kohane gains more courage she shows herself to akitoya too. I also imagine this fun scene where an and kohane are talking, then akito reaches to an, kohane disappears and akito thinks an is crazy for talking alone.

Tsukasa would try to show off as the "mighty blazing Sekai spirit" but would cringefail anyways. Wxs seems unfazed by that, actually being interested in how tsukasa matches almost perfectly the description of the main character of a famous theatre show about a fantasy world.

Mafuyu hides, but not like kohane or Ichika. She wants to be alone. She accepted her fate of being forgotten and having to suffer alone. She tries to push the other members of niigo away, but they are resilient in trying to put an end to her pain (mostly kanade) because they know the same feeling. In the end mafuyu accepts their warmth.

Uhhh idk I think that's it. Sorry for the long yap, ideas kept flowing like a river. I might try to doodle something one day.

[asher-agere]

Babble Time!

This shall be angsty and not happy. Mix of PJSK and BSD? My thoughts aren’t organized, but I wanna share thoughts on the little babies. Regression isn’t always pretty :(

Trigger warnings for self harm, suicide attempts, eating disorders (BSD fans can you tell this will include Dazai?). I get detailed sometimes, don’t read if this might make you uncomfy!

₊ ⊹ We’ll start with Dazai. Dazai after a suicide attempt. He knows he did something super bad. That’s why everything hurts. He knows there’s way too much blood, he knows he shouldn’t have consumed poison. But it never works anyway right? He feels so small… What’s he supposed to do? He should stop the bleeding… But how does he do that? His movements aren’t coordinated and moving hurts. He’ll just lay there until he passes out. Someone will find him before he dies. They always do

₊ ⊹ Dazai staying in his big headspace while he’s hurting himself. But once the bandages are on and it’s out of sight baby brain takes over. Everything feels itchy but if he scratches it bleeds, and blood is scary… It’s out of sight but not out of mind. He starts scratching and notices the blood, so he tried hugging a plushy! Keeps his hands busy… No scratches! But the blood is still there… And now staining the plushy! The poor baby can only cry harder, throwing his comfort away from him. Terrified of ruining it

₊ ⊹ Baby Dazai who’s really really hungry. He hasn’t eaten in a long long time… And he isn’t against it like he usually is! So he’s super responsible and he eats, maybe some nice crab… But his tummy doesn’t like that. A baby can’t regulate food. To much to soon. He’s crying and sobbing as the food comes back up. The vomit is gross and makes his throat burn. But how does he clean it up? He can’t think what to do, he can just cry. It starts smelling so awful and it just makes him cry harder. Such a baby he can’t even stand up

۶ৎ Baby Mizuki. She feels so gross in her boyish body… She’s disgusting. She’ll call her caregivers, she’d not trying to isolate herself! But the idea of someone seeing her in person? She feels so gross! She’ll put on a pretty dress but her flat chest looks so wrong… She can’t even babble to her caregivers. Her voice is too deep. That’s not a girls voice. Why doesn’t she have a girls voice?

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ Baby Mafuyu, finally happy thanks to her friends! She has some cute little gear they bought her! But… Her Mama always goes through her room. One day the baby comes home from school and Mama seems mad… So she hides in her room. Maybe she can regress and be nice… But her paci is gone. Mama must’ve taken it. So why didn’t she say anything? She’ll wait days. Mama says nothing. It fills the baby with awful gut wrenching anxiety. She can’t eat, can’t sleep, can barely focus on school. What if it’s her fault? What if she just lost it somewhere? She can’t exactly just ask Mama… So she just suffers

⛦ Chuuya as a baby. So absolutely completely convinced he isn’t human. He can’t be. That means he can’t regress! That’s something for humans. He isn’t programmed to do that. It must be a virus… So he pushes it off. For weeks even. He can’t think. Can’t do anything right. A proper human would be fine. It must be because he isn’t human… It’s the only explanation. There’s no proof he is human. He destroyed that. It’s his fault he doesn’t know. He’ll never know. Poor baby, just sits in his room staring at the wall. He wants his plushy… But he doesn’t deserve that. He can’t call anyone. Doesn’t deserve that either

Idk where I’m going with this- I just don’t see enough about the bad side of regression. And I need to see more representing it. Remember, if you’ve been through anything even slightly similar to any of this? You’re still valid! Everyone have a wonderful amazing day!

[sankatsuka]

My Personal Journey with Project SEKAI: How Haruka Kiritani Changed My Perspective on Life

I recently watched a heart-touching video on Omori, and it inspired me to want to express my own feelings about the special place Project SEKAI has in my heart.

I hesitated to share this because of how deeply personal and depressing it is and would leave a bad taste in the mouths of people who want to enjoy Haruka (and Tsukasa) without the lens of depression. But I really want people to take Project SEKAI's writing more seriously instead of treating it as some trauma complexity competition. It would be nice if this could resonate with some people and give some hope to them.

I don't consider myself a victim of ableism, but my struggle is objectively about ableism - so my personal answer may be triggering and something people would not agree with/be able to live with.

TW for ableism and suicide ideation.

For all my life, I suffered from feeling like everyday was empty and was like dying, but I was never comforted for it and thus came to the delusional view that everyone was the same and going through this. 'All of us are trying to become someone we aren't because the world won't accept us for who we really are, so of course I shouldn't expect comfort,' or so I thought. But there was no story that could clearly express this pain - I have felt it several times in fictional characters I'm drawn to, but it was sadly never the focus of the story. Because of this, I always dreamed of creating a story that could strongly express these feelings so all of us can open our eyes to it and not have to suffer alone anymore, and it's what kept me going for years. That is, until I found Wonderlands x Showtime from Project SEKAI.

When I first read the unit story, I recognized a lot of Tsukasa's behaviours and lit up - this was it. This was the story I had always been looking for.

I thought it was a given everyone would have perceived Tsukasa the same way I did. He was the leader character who was trying to become someone else: the framing of 'chasing stardom = couldn't stand life living as himself' couldn't get anymore obvious than that. These were the feelings that drove me to write A True Star as the seeds were so obviously planted but the writers just weren't sowing them. But the fandom was a wake-up call for me that not everyone suffered the same way and could see it, especially as Tsukasa became more and more forcibly fitted into the comfort sunshine boyfriend stereotype by the fandom. Even the people who were touched by my writing had vastly different views from me. It taught me that people are different and feel things differently, and suddenly I no longer knew what I wanted.

Mafuyu was never relatable for me, because I could never relate to being in so much pain to the point of not feeling guilt when people want to help you. For me, everyday was just dull - I could smile and laugh genuinely along with people, but something just felt missing and it made me feel dead inside. I kept aiming to become good at something so I could feel whole, but the motivation was just never there. But what was most painful above all, was the fact that I felt no one ever took my tears and emotions seriously, no matter how much I tried to express myself. This is what I could only perceive in Tsukasa and WxS at the time, and fuelled me into writing A True Star.

But I started feeling more and more guilty and selfish of my feelings for Tsukasa because of Curtain Call. Given the angst, more fans would probably be wanting to see a focus on Rui instead of Tsukasa. I also believed that the writers should be focusing on Rui, because if it made the fans happy, then they SHOULD write Tsukasa off as his fandom oversimplification so as to not overshadow Rui. Tsukasa's pre-established angst and Rui's apparent angst in Curtain Call just couldn't coexist to me without ruining the message and impact of the other. I decided my feelings were just self-pitying exaggeration and shouldn't be captured, and people who related to me should stop living that way. Because of that guilt, I found myself unable to write and draw the things that used to make me happy. I spent a long time paralyzed because of this, crying and suffering everyday from feeling that the dream I had for the longest time turned out to be stupid and there would never be anything fun for me to look forward to. A day didn't go by without me contemplating suicide. This was why I quit Twitter.

But I still couldn't let go of my feelings no matter how hard I tried to - I wanted to see my dream. I wanted to see it touch the hearts of people, for them to realize how painful it was being this way, that my feelings and those like myself were never an exaggeration.

In that same period of time, when I was begging my body to move and do something productive and not be like this over a fucking fictional character, going to counselling and reading all sorts of self-help articles to get over it - I briefly recalled Haruka's story. I finally understood how she felt: being unable to do what you love as you can't help but feel you're just an unwanted burden to others. Even if there are people out there who enjoyed your works, it doesn't matter because you're a fake and there are other better people out there who have more meaningful things to say than you. But even so, you can't let go. She gave me the answer to my dilemma in Painful Hope: to forgive yourself for being different and needing comfort in your own way. Even if it's not a big deal to others, it most certainly is a big deal to you.

Haruka Kiritani surprisingly broadened my perspective on life. I had never understood her character at the start, thinking she was just the stereotype of a responsible girl. I always thought I was a certain way - exaggerated like Tsukasa, but in reality I was far more simpler and pathetic than that. I just felt overly responsible for everyone's emotions for how painfully sensitive I am to people and my surroundings, that I never thought enough about expressing myself. That if I made someone unhappy, something bad would happen. And the big problem was, I believed I always made people unhappy for being different.

Wanting to be saved by the dream of the entire world acknowledging your suffering and being there for you? I only then realized how delusional it was and how it just made me look farther away from myself and worsened my life. How about using those strong senses to just be present and appreciate every moment of being human and alive instead? Enjoying the happy times with all your heart, letting yourself just feel the pain when someone hurts you, live everyday looking forward to more encounters that would enrich your life... Maybe along the way, you may even miraculously find something that completes you. (I LOVE YOU IF!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CHANGING ME YURRY CANON AND HARUKA KIRITANI!!!!)

It isn't about discarding your suffering, it's about acknowledging reality: there are so many people living in the world, it can't just be the way you need it to be for your happiness - but you can change. You just have to live for something that you can attain for sure, like facing the pain and emptiness of everyday for what it is and having hope for happier days. (My favourite anime of all-time Gintama captures this sooooo well, delusion vs reality, how both of them are equally important - please watch it. Now don't get me started on how strongly similar Project SEKAI and Gintama are--).

Besides, I wouldn't want people to change for me. I love them for who they are, and I was just blinded running away thinking no one would ever want me around as me. But now, I live trying to face the reality that there will be people who care and want me to be happy. I'll live with the pain of people not caring about me so I can fully experience those happier times when they come. And just because people don't care doesn't mean they're terrible people - the world is huge, there are too many options and choices for people to make.

Even if life is always so painful, there are times it's still so fun. I just can't let go after all.

Haruka Kiritani is the reason I stopped entrusting my ridiculous dream to Tsukasa and I'm not in as bad a place mentally anymore. I was just delusional like Tsukasa was, thinking achieving your dream would change everything and make you finally feel wanted and enough (lol, the meta is crazy). I'm grateful the scenario writers didn't give me what I wanted right away with Tsukasa - because then, I wouldn't have noticed the beauty in Haruka's writing. I'm pretty confident that WxS is definitely going in the direction I dreamed of (the same message I wanted to convey in A True Star), but it doesn't really matter much to me anymore now.

I can't go along with dreams of being saved anymore. I understand wanting them, I really did. But right now, what's more important to me is the love people have for me in the present, even if it's imperfect, flawed and hurts so much. I don't ever want to be saved if it means turning a blind eye to people who want me around and failing to respond to them as I've been doing up till now. I'm still not fully understood, which is why it hurts - but as long as I respond as seriously as I can, things might hopefully change someday. I've always been loved, and I want to cherish that. It's because of that I can no longer muster the emotions and anger to write A True Star anymore.

I slowly started realizing more and more similarities in Haruka too. There was such a small detail in Towards The Dream of That Day (Focus 3) that meant the world to me: the small moment where a young Haruka expresses discomfort with the crowd. Can you imagine that this sensitive girl who gets tired from crowds is now a top idol?

"...But there were so many people, I think I might be a little exhausted."

It didn't even hit me when I read that part, but I had a memory just like that with my own mother which slipped my mind. It's probably happened so many times my family had to take care of me in crowds in the past. But I had been so immersed in the delusion that I could overcome anything, that I completely forgot I was always the shy, fragile young girl to my family.

We have both always been loved and seen by people around us, but we just don't feel good enough that we end up trying to become someone else. It also doesn't help when your family thinks you can grow out of it - but if they love you, they will try to understand and you will feel that love if you're present. This is a big reason why living in reality is now so important to me - to properly respond to my loved ones, so that we can someday see eye-to-eye. And not to forget, to be able to smile and have fun with all my being once again.

More recently, it finally sunk in that I have always been terrible at smiling. I hated taking photographs because I could never get it to look the way I want it to, because no matter how hard I tried to smile, it just couldn't turn out natural. My mother has always pointed it out ever since I was young, but I didn't acknowledge it because I knew I could smile more naturally if I was in the mood - which is true... it isn't even autism, because when I'm talking about or doing something I love, I would be smiling and laughing so hard that my friends and family take notice. Just like Haruka and penguins, and when idol activities and times with her friends are genuinely exhilarating and fun.

A big problem we likely have is a form of neurodivergence that makes the normal world too boring and understimulating for us. And it's really a struggle - constantly being understimulated to even hold normal conversations, and then there's how most of our loved ones wouldn't get it because of how different we are.

And finally, there's Haruka in Precious Memories.

(I... can smile like this too.) (It seems somewhat different from when I'm at work...)

"...Thank you for giving me such wonderful memories, Saki."

How she realized she should cherish and preserve every moment in her life from Saki is so, so important to me. Even with friends, even if she's not always fully happy, she can have times she would find herself smiling so happily without realizing it.

It hammers in the realization I came to because of her character. After all, I ended up like this, unaware and self-hating, because I kept taking my own emotions and people's emotions towards me for granted. I was already happy just spending time around family and friends, but I couldn't fully immerse myself in it because of how hard I constantly was on myself. And the cycle of anger went on as people couldn't understand why I was so hard on myself. This is the power of Project SEKAI, just because she too couldn't move at all at one point - Haruka Kiritani helped me understand myself so much better and navigate life in a healthier, wholer way, embracing both the joys and pains of life. (Well... I still do run away, but I'm working on it...)

Shiho also became an incredibly important character to me because of the message in Stick to Your Faith that supplemented Haruka's character. I never thought to think of it that way, that there were things you couldn't let go of but it's okay to care about people's feelings at the same time. As someone with unique interests and who takes things a little too seriously, it was the words that I really needed to hear. I don't think we are similar enough to share even the same motivations though, but Shiho's values have definitely lit a way forward in my self-discovery. It's embarrassing to be so impacted by a story that isn't serious to most people. But truly, to Colorful Palette, thank you for writing Haruka Kiritani. Honami, Shiho and Tsukasa were all equally as important in making me realize the true weight of emotions and their impact on you. Project SEKAI made my dream come true in MORE MORE JUMP, in a far different yet better way than what I expected. I hope that this post would make people realize that Project SEKAI characters are more human than tropes. I was once blinded by tropes too, which made me miss out on how beautifully written Honami was - it really, really takes time to grow out of it. I'm tired of people attributing angst and depression only to Niigo when that's just a part of life and everyone has at least experienced it once. The sudden shift in atmosphere in No Seek No Find? A song about life and death in Kashika? Utsuro wo Aogu literally meaning 'looking into the void'? The constant themes of escapism in Emu commissions?

Each character is so strongly human in nature, that you can just understand the emotions they're feeling in the moment and why they feel that way. The narrative won't spell it for you, the characters are all unreliable narrators - you need to immerse yourself in both the story and the commissions and understand it yourself. You need to read all the unit stories to understand the writers' approach to emotions. Even if it doesn't make sense to you, it might start to make sense the more you learn about yourself and the people around you - because the writers have put in their actual emotions and experiences into writing and planning the character.

That is the beauty of Project SEKAI to me. I hope someday, instead of a cringey angsty teenage story, people could come to appreciate the human love and care put into its characters.

Finally, I end this love letter to Project SEKAI with one of my most favourite lines in If:

"Singing won't save your life or anything. But I want to sing for your sake."

"Even if this life of mine has no worth, the world is still beautiful. So let's live."

[pjsk-headcanons]

ok welcome to today's ted talk (i am procrastinating on doing my schoolwork bc brother eughhh i am not reading a book from 1500 or smth /jk i will eventually. just let me have this for now) today's ted talk is.... what teams and drivers in f1 pjsk characters would like bc f1 and pjsk is arguably what is maintaining me sane and idk why not. if you disagree uhhh thats fine idc lol this is purely based off of vibes and cardinal directions WxS - rui: as i have mentioned in my first hc he likes a) ferrari b) red bull c) mclaren, bc every f1 fan ik is at least A BIT of a ferrari fan even if they like only one team (*cough* that fan may be me *cough* *cough*), so rui is a ferrari fan and a red bull fan, probably because he likes the crazy shit on red bull's channel (look at this for example: https://youtube.com/shorts/uf9PQT0OgUY?si=yA8NM97AJHeyf0HH). maybe he likes the drink as well, now drivers! his favorite driver is lando, bc i think he will like his streaming content (perhaps his personality and his willingness to talk abt mental health and i am not kidding, search it up!!) (i'd like to note that rui is most definitely a very avid f1 fan) - tsukasa, emu and nene: they all like ferrari and red bull, they're not avid fans but they understand what happens in the sport (mainly because of rui) and as i think they wouldn't be as big fans as rui, so they probably just follow rui's opinions LOL im sorry if it's basic, but it's imo :3 L/N - ichika: she's a casual f1 fan, so she probably likes ferrari bc it's popular and she doesnt know how much depression it causes to be a tifosi. (ps: i am not a tifosi) her favorite driver is lando yet again, because she decided to learn a bit more abt the f1 drivers and found out he can play multiple instruments, so that sparked an interest in her and yeah - saki: she probably doesn't even care but she likes to listen to ichika and shiho talk abt the races. im sorry if it sounds like saki slander, i just dont think she would really like f1 😭😭 pls forgive me saki fans - honami: the ultimate of ultimate of f1 casual fans. that's it, maybe she would like alex but that's it - shiho: the less casual f1 fan out of l/n, she likes red bull and max verstappen. arguably she doesnt even care abt the f1 teams, but she likes max for how he is(me too shiho. it's actually sad to think i didnt like him </3) extra hc: ichika and shiho most definitely talk abt f1 whenever they have time to! VBS - akito: he likes whatever team is fighting an's favorite team. if she likes red bull, he likes mclaren, etc, etc. point is, he likes what an doesnt bc he has some beef with an (i promise you it's not idk levels of genuine hate it's like uhhh i forgot the word im not sure if this is clear!!) - an: uhhh i accidently explained her in akito's part - kohane: weirdly, super into f1. she's not the "i watch f1 for the drivers!" fan, she's the "i watch f1 for the sport!" fan (<- i feel like i have to clarify that) and although that may not make sense, she roots for all the teams and drivers. (even lance.) so tbh if you asked her "kohane whats your favorite f1 team and f1 driver?" she would say "idk i just like the sport i dont really care abt who's winning" - toya: he seems like he would like f1 but he doesnt know a shit abt f1(the creative juices are almost gone now afksahsjkdgbhdg) N25 - mafuyu: i feel like she heard abt f1 at school and ended up liking instead of the sport, the aerodynamics stuff. very specific ik - kanade: she would get distracted by the f1 sounds so she wouldn't even know what's happening and somehow compose a music based off the sounds of an f1 car/f1 related - mizuki: she heard abt f1 one day from rui and ever since she talks with rui abt f1 stuff (other than the in canon stuff)!! her favorite team is whoever is cooking at the moment (she doesnt want to suffer over like. omg bad strategies and bad car) and her favorite driver is lewis (1. his fashion style 2. how good he is) - ena: tbqh the same thing as an's

MMJ - my creative juices have almost completely dried. but tbh, i dont think they would have time for f1 bc they do so much shit yknow, ik they like have managers and everything but id argue they're dedicated to what they do and they'd prefer to do other stuff than learn abt f1 stuff. im so sorry mmj fans i promise ill make a better headcanon than this one day 😭😭

oops how did it get this long? anyways, thank you for joining my ted talk! hope everyone is ok :D - papaya anon

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[20elements]

Project Sekai: Tanabata Wishes

Just a summary list of a responses generated from AI bots of the cast. Since today is Japan's Star Festival, I wanted to have fun asking for each character's wishes:

More More Jump Minori Hanasato - Successful solo gig in addition to MMJ Haruka Kiritani - For her music to deliver happiness Airi Momoi - For her younger sister's courage to ask her crush out Shizuku Hinomori - Global reach of her songs

Leo/need Ichika Hoshino - Adventure with Hatsune Miku Saki Tenma - To witness a meteor shower Honami Mochizuki - To remain close to the people she cares most about Shiho Hinomori - Becoming the bassist of a proper band

Vivid BAD SQUAD Kohane Azusawa - Maintaining VBS' good health An Shiraishi - For VBS to surpass RAD Weekend Akito Shinonome - To get along better with his sister Ena Toya Aoyagi - Becoming a top street musician with many fans

Nightcord @25 Kanade Yoisaki - To compose a healing song for yours truly Mafuyu Asahina - To feel genuine emotions Ena Shinonome - To create art worthy of world class museums Mizuki Akiyama - Growing up into a dependable adult

Wonderlands x Showtime Tsukasa Tenma - His sister Saki's happiness and good health Emu Otori - Whopping servings of takoyaki Nene Kusanagi - To be more comfortable around people Rui Kamishiro - Expansion of his genius and contributions across SEKAI

VIRTUAL SINGER Hatsune Miku - To be able to compose her own songs Kagamine Rin - To convey greater and more captivating emotion with vocals than usual Kagamine Len - For everyone to be able to overcome insecurities Megurine Luka - To see the purest, truest beauty in the world that she has yet to Meiko - Everyone's comfort in being themselves Kaito - A peaceful world without suffering or sickness

[shiraishi--kanade]

Any mix unit duet cover ya want An to sing with?

I mean. I know they would never do mix cover songs for reals anymore.

But which list of characters ya think would go wonderfully with An’s singing?

For me I think Mizuki and An, or Shiho and An. They have such powerful voices.

You've said it for Mizuki and An! That's my number one answer for this question. I'm a big fan of Hinata Satou and Jiena individually and I would kill to have them sing together. I still have Mizuki's cover on Ussewaa and I think Hinata Satou and Jiena both capture Ado's singing style best, so if they should cover something, it should be an Ado song, too.

Additionally, An and Mafuyu, An and Ena. Those two's vocals are extremely underrated in my opinion and would work very nicely with An.

Also, Ichika and An. Both suffer from sometimes poor vocal direction (as does Shiho) but they're actually amazing singers, and I think having L/Nd's vocalist cover would be neat! Technically 2024 April cover counts for both Ena and Ichika, but it's not a duet so it doesn't count (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) with VBS x Leo/need crossover though! I have high hopes!

And honestly. An and Nene, An and Saki as well. I really like all of their voices, as you can tell. I'll take just about anyone!

[pharaohbean]

heya there!!

my name is zero, but you can also call me k! im not new to tumblr per say (ive been stalking this place for a While now lol) but this is my first post here! i am a fangirl, a writer, and above all else a Weird Person LOL

i am a fan of the original ygo series, ace attorney, the case files of jeweler richard, project sekai/hatsune miku: colorful stage (and vocaloid in general!), and genshin impact! my favorite characters from each of them are yami, edgeworth, richard, toya+mafuyu, and childe+neuvillette+cyno! (can you tell i REALLY like either bad boys or emotionally constipated guys?)

i am also a writer! while i don't have an ao3 or anything, i've definitely written a LOT (no nothings complete dont ask lol) for pretty much all my fandoms! i'm also an avid enjoyer of music, but really only j-rock and vocaloid haha i also plan to get an ao3 one day!! but not today!!

some other interesting things about me: my pronouns are she/they! i am an istj and a 4w5! that means i dont speak Emotion! and i am simultaneously proud and terrified of that fact! i also play d&d with my two besties! i cannot draw for the life of me (ive tried it Ends Poorly)! i am a straight cis aroace female and uninterested in a romantic relationship at this time ;)

im super open to new friends, asks, and dms of all kinds! please send them! especially about fandom stuff! i think about sun/moon dynamics in all my fandoms+fav characters way too much. and my besties can only suffer in silence for so long LOL

speaking of my besties, you should absolutely go check them out! blu (@xxluckystrike) and bee (@busybussinbee) are two very awesome people and fairly new to tumblr!

thanks for reading! ^-^

[palebluenoblesse]

some rambles about my project sekai swap unit, moonbeam arcadia!

crossposted from my twitter ... but i also wanted to post something here!!

moonbeam arcadia consists of mafuyu, ichika, toya, and haruka. in this universe, ichika never got the chance to reconnect with honami and shiho despite her and saki's best efforts (this is also mainly why saki decided to team up with emu in momoiro parfaits (another swap unit) og duo.) she becomes more and more disconnected from her peers, only focusing on her schoolwork and saki (occasionally). she still makes music and listens to miku in her free time, though. mafuyu stays the same. haruka after suffering from severe stage fright decides to quit being an idol and her fear starts developing even further, slowly but surely becoming agoraphobia. even when she met minori, haruka felt like she could never be seen as a proper idol in the eyes of her fans and her friends again. haruka turned to making music and uploading it to a nightcord music server anonymously to help her speak the things she's too scared to say. toya has the same story, but he never got the support and validation that vbs and akito gave him. coincidentally, ichika (1) owned the nightcord music server that all of the other members were in. ichika really liked haruka's (penguin) usage of vocaloids in her songs, so she invited haruka to make songs with her and teach her how to tune miku. touya (bluewillow) also enjoyed haruka and ichikas music and started making piano covers of the songs, drawing the others' attention. at the same time, mafuyu (yuki) was also making songs of her own and uploading them, and ichika (1) also invited her to the music circle (in a separate server. ichikas server name was also something miku related because i have to keep the girlflop in there. they make electropop music and the starter vocaloids are kaito and miku. their sekai is an underground metro station. there are shops littered around it, and you can get on the train to travel to another station. if you take the second train and drop by the 3rd station, the 4th shop to your right is a shop that sells your memories. a bottle of moonlight from that night, all the pens you've lent someone but never got back. and the cashier is no other than yourself, or rather, another version of yourself. ichika sees herself in the main storyline where they formed leo/need, toya sees himself in the main storyline where they formed VBS and haruka sees herself in the main storyline where they formed MMJ. mafuyu sees her past self. there's also a ramen shop and ice cream shop as well as vending machines. and a 7/11. and everything and anything you need. miku is laid-back and doesn't talk much, but she cares a lot for moonbeam arcadia's members and tries her best to help them. her hair is its original color but fades to dark blue at the ends. she has headphones that light up whenever she uses them (gamer headphones) and a tetris t-piece hairclip (don't ask). she wears an oversized jacket over a black crop top and loose high-waisted jeans. she also wears black converses with a white heartbeat pattern embroidered on top. she can often be found at the station arcade playing tetris 99 or beating the shit out of the maimai machine. she chews gum and has a seemingly endless supply of blueberry gum always on her. kaito wears a sleeveless hoodie and black arm coverings (think: mafuyu zozotown gloves). his hoodie has a little screen on it that changes based on what he's currently feeling (it changes to an angry face when he's pissed, sad face when he's sad, etc.) so even if he tries to lie about his emotions, he can't. his pants have a shit ton of pockets on them and has chains attached (think techwear). he also wears ankle high sneakers. kaito is less expressive than miku but is quick to anger, and any emotion, really. he tries his best to help moonbeam arcadia...but these don't end well sometimes. SOMETIMES. he's trying his best, okay.

miku got headphones for her and kaito but accidentally ordered kaito cat ear headphones and hes too embarrassed to wear them, but he still wears them in secret because as embarrassing as light-up cat ear gamer headphones are, theyre really high quality with good noise canceling. miku has a picture she snapped of him in secret wearing the headphones. he would EXPLODE if the others saw (they have, they're just sworn to secrecy). miku uses the picture as blackmail sometimes to get kaito to buy her free stuff sometimes.

kaito tried to beat miku in tetris 99 once and failed miserably. the only person that has been able to beat miku in tetris is toya and she has sworn herself to beating him someday. mafuyu also plays and is nearly as good as miku, but nowhere as good as toya.

miku tried the "dipping ice cream in ramen" trend once and kaito is trying his best to not get violent. he's shaking and so fucking close to combusting while miku is enjoying the ramen and trying to get ichika to try it. he tries to stop ichika from trying it but doesn't get there quick enough. and to his surprise and devastation, ichika enjoys the ice cream ramen.

once luka arrives at the sekai, she immediately catches air about kaito's cat headphones (somehow.) she proceeds to get him a whole cat set with ears and a tail and everything. like the cyber cat kaito module. kaito is FUMING. face is RED and theres SMOKE coming out of his ears. hes so mad the emotion screen is going to catch on fire with how much it's overheating. kailuka chase ensues through the station.

kaito has started to hide but luka keeps finding him and dragging him back to the main station. every time. he has started to check his clothes for hidden trackers because how the heck can she find him Every Single Time like that.

even more chaos will ensue once meiko appears, or at least that's what kaito thinks. meiko actually manages to calm down luka's shenanigans by occupying her time (thank god.) but kaito has to admit, he misses luka's constant pranking.

[arolesbianism]

Life is so hard being both the number one 25ji fan and the number one 25ji cover hater.... Yes I love Mafuyu so so much and their writing is genuinely so impactful and important to me as someone who has gone through similar stuff and has seen others suffer similarly my whole life and I am so so grateful that they exist as I could have benefited from a story like this so much when I was younger. Yes they have my least favorite solo covers in the game. Im sorry I can't help being correct all the time 😔😔😔

[ssruis]

@thiccydriftyy I think Emu and Tsukasa suffered a lot from doing too much of a character voice in their earlier covers - emu sounds better in goodbye sengen/taiyoukei disco/chururira/living millennium/all I need are things I like whereas her parts in alien alien/dance robot dance/adventure log/remote control (among earlier covers but those stuck out to me) sound really strained. Tsukasa started sounding better when he quit doing the nasally singing as well (compare king to his solo in CPDB, for instance).

Like you said it really depends on the song although I think both of their cvs are able to cover a wider range of songs now. Emu also really benefits from harmonizing with another wxs member (nene and rui especially but I do like her 1 2 fan club alt with tsukasa) whereas when tsukasa sings with someone else it’s a coughing baby vs hydrogen bomb situation/the girls sing over him. At least that used to be the case. he got better.

Tbh I prefer ena’s vocals over mafuyu’s although she has really good vocals (and niigo does have really good group vocals too). I will say that for higher energy songs I’m not really a fan of kanade’s parts just because her voice sounds really breathy (which may or may not be intentional on the part of her cv I have no idea. I feel like someone said it’s legitimately a strain on her voice when she does higher energy songs but take that with a grain of salt).

The real worst vocals in the game are when colopale takes it upon themself to tune the vocaloids when covering songs by non cfm vocaloids. Looking at you love ka meiko that song is borderline unplayable for me.

“Tsukasa has the best vocals in the game” is such an insane take he doesn’t even have the best vocals in wxs.

[welcome-to-the-fucking-sekai]

Not my best work since I’m feeling a bit under the weather lol but! I really like the compostition ^^ I relied on the “Tsukasa is secretly suppressing his suffering to make others happy” theory (I think it’s really interesting the kind of character arc those characters usually bring to life) and while I don’t completely ship them romantically, I do think that if this theory is true and they managed to realize they were so similar (as someone who struggles with depression and used to hide it , I could tell when others weren’t exactly being honest with themselves about their feelings) they could be decent friends with each other ^^ I’m a big fan of visual metaphors (a reason I love vocaloid so much lol, so many MVs are packed FULL of hidden meanings ) and for this one I wanted them to be back to back and surrounded by the fireworks as a sort of representation on how they don’t have to pretend around each other and they have each other’s back ( the firework lights represent the vivid or happy colors they show the outside , hence being around them and “staining” them.) I even went as far as the main color staining Mafuyu being “pink” which is a color associated with love because, from what I’ve seen of her character, she is never truly honest about what she wants and when she’s alone she tries not to indulge in preferences (likes and wants) too much, and vice versa (blue) for Tsukasa because I swear he thinks he’ll die if he’s not happy and thinking positively. The only place the colors aren’t washing over them is their eyes because they’re seeing eye to eye . Yeah I’m a sentimental nerd ig qwq but yeah! this is really messy sorry qwq, I might go back and redo it more properly but I also don’t really like clean lines for pieces that I put this much passion into character motivation wise so yeah  thanks for reading this far if you did !

[apieceofsushi]

August Line-Up! We’re really digging into the summer themes this month. If you’re curious, here are some more details for the following events:

The Best Summer Ever!

Group: Mixed

Focus Character: Honami Mochizuki

Duration: Aug 1-8

Happy Lovely Everyday!

Group: More! More! Jump!

Focus Character: Airi Momoi

Duration: 10-18

Mermaid Admiration

Group: Wonderlands x Showtime

Focus Character: Nene Kusanagi

Duration: 20-28

The Two Moon Rabbits

Group: Mixed

Focus Character: Shizuku Hinomori

Duration: 30-Sep 6

Not a bunch of N25 this month…but we’ll have a Mafuyu event in September, a Mizuki one in October, and a mixed Mafuyu event in November, so in other words, my savings are going to suffer hopefully fans of the other groups enjoy this month!

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

Was Ugetsu manipulative?

Some time ago, I posted my AkiUgetsu timeline thread on Twitter and was asked in the replies if I thought Ugetsu was manipulative. I had seen that discourse around, but I have never really pondered about it. So, I thought I’d take this opportunity to see if I thought he was manipulative.

Before I get more into this, though, a couple of disclaimers.

Firstly, this is merely an answer to a question. I am not responding to any piece of anti/pro-Ugetsu discourse out there. Also, this is just my personal take on things. I am not posing this as one and only correct interpretation. If someone agrees with me, great. If someone disagrees, that’s also fine. I’m not trying to tell anyone how to feel about Ugetsu’s character or the AkiUgetsu relationship.

Secondly, it’s no secret that I’m an Ugetsu and Akihiko stan and AkiUgetsu is my Given OTP. That disposition is good to keep in mind by whoever is reading this. However, I try to put my own biases aside when writing these kinds of analyses. Just because I love Ugetsu’s character doesn’t mean I’m only going to write things that my fellow-Ugetsu-fans like to hear. But I am interpreting things as someone who claims to understand his side of things, and I understand if that might seem like I’m already being too biased to someone.

End of disclaimers!

“Do you think Ugetsu was being "manipulative"? Many people call him that and it hurts me a little”

I found this a surprisingly challenging question when I wasn’t given any concrete examples of Ugetsu supposedly being manipulative. It was difficult to grasp that perspective by myself when I was going through the manga.

Usually, I don’t have big trouble putting my own bias aside for these things, but now I felt like I was questioning/second-guessing myself at every turn. Because I feel like you can see Ugetsu as manipulative if you simply take that point of view/stance. The answer is in the question.

But trying to make myself do that felt like I was going against my interpretation of what kind of story Ugetsu and AkiUgetsu are telling regardless of my bias. I really don’t think Kizu wrote Ugetsu as some kind of toxic/manipulative villain, so trying to take that stance felt untrue from the get-go. But on the other hand, if I was really this unable to see things from the manipulation perspective, was I just letting my bias cloud my thinking? Can you see my struggle?

In the end, I decided to go with what “manipulation” I myself can see. So, I’m sure many people will disagree with me on this reading.

Some time ago, I wrote another piece about AkiUgetsu when I was asked why do I think they stayed together for so long even though they were both suffering. In that, I explained how I tend to visualize AkiUgetsu in two ways: a circle/cycle, and two layers on top of each other. I think the layers might help me in explaining how I see the “manipulative Ugetsu” interpretation.

One of the reasons why I think AkiUgetsu got so bad was the ambiguity of their relationship. There were two layers to what they were. Officially and on the surface, they were platonic roommates. Both of them were single on paper and free to date other people if they so desired. In this regard, Ugetsu was in his full right to sleep with other people without that making him a “slut” or a “cheater”.

But under that “official”, platonic, and visible layer, there was another hidden layer that was what still bound them together. Under the surface, they were still emotionally and occasionally even physically involved with each other. They still had feelings for each other, and living together only kept those feelings lingering and tying them to each other despite how painful it was.

These two layers created a “yes, but…” situation in many ways in AkiUgetsu as roommates. The ambiguity gave room for very mixed messages from Ugetsu’s part which is where I think the “manipulation” interpretation can be found if somewhere. It’s quite easy to take a look at Ugetsu dating other people while also allowing Akihiko to stay with him as Ugetsu manipulatively stringing Akihiko along. He could have his cake and eat it, too.

And I’m sure that’s at least partly how it came across to Akihiko, too (vol. 4 ch. 20):

Ugetsu appearing to be hot and then cold was a painful game of hem and haw for Akihiko. He was confused and frustrated by Ugetsu not making a decision and sticking to it, especially since he knew Akihiko still loved him. It felt like Ugetsu was indulging him out of pity. Akihiko had never wanted to break up in the first place, so if Ugetsu was going to throw him a bone or give him some kind of leeway, Akihiko was unable to let that pass and stop holding on to Ugetsu. And I have a feeling that Ugetsu knew Akihiko would stay, too, if he gave him even a slither of hope.

So, yes, I do think that to some extent, Ugetsu was aware of how much his indecisive behavior was hurting Akihiko (vol. 3 ch. 17):

He knew his actions probably came across as cruel to Akihiko. I think he was aware of the fact that he was hurting him when he slept with someone else while not rejecting Akihiko properly. So, I’m not trying to say he was innocent or couldn’t have handled their relationship as roommates better. If he wanted both of them to stop suffering, he should have made up his mind and not allow himself to waver.

All in all, I’m also not surprised if this side of Ugetsu’s behavior can come across as manipulative and selfish to some readers. I could see that.

But I think if you leave your interpretation at that, you are looking at things only on the surface level and ignoring a lot of how Ugetsu feels. Ugetsu’s character is all about seeing behind what he says or how he behaves.

Just as Akihiko felt like he “can’t quit” Ugetsu no matter how much it hurt, the same applied to Ugetsu as well (vol. 4 ch. 17):

When Ugetsu slept with someone else, Akihiko took it as him ceasing the chance to finally get rid of Akihiko and to provoke him. And he kind of got it right, but the tone was actually different from Ugetsu’s point of view. He was trying to take the chance to end their relationship, but because he was unable to do it as such, he purposefully hurt Akihiko to push him away. Ugetsu made himself the bad guy when trying to break up with Akihiko for good because he himself couldn’t take that last step of walking away. He needed Akihiko to do that.

When Ugetsu told Mafuyu about why he had originally broken up with Akihiko but why he was so powerless to let go of him now, Mafuyu heard it as Ugetsu’s “scream”. He saw how much in pain Ugetsu was behind his words.

And that’s the thing. Ugetsu was suffering in the same cycle as Akihiko. His own indecisiveness was bringing himself pain just the same (vol. 5 ch. 27):

On one hand, Ugetsu couldn’t picture Akihiko not coming back and leaving him for good. Whenever he thought “maybe…”, he always arrived at “no…”. He recognized Akihiko might leave one day but couldn’t imagine his life without him. He was just as unable to let go as Akihiko was – probably even more – and yet, he also wanted the suffering to end. Try to grasp the level of the complex inner conflict of that.

And this is what I meant when I said that with Ugetsu, you need to see behind the surface. He wasn’t giving mixed messages (or being “manipulative”, if you want to call it that) out of some kind of malice. When he was seemingly willfully ignoring the second layer of his relationship with Akihiko by openly dating other people, he was trying to push Akihiko away and free them both. He wasn’t toying with him for his own amusement.

But he also lacked the resolve to go through with the last step of breaking up – just like Akihiko before the intervention of him moving out for a while – which came across as him indulging Akihiko’s lingering feelings cruelly out of pity. Under the surface, though, the truth was he also “couldn’t quit” Akihiko and was suffering from the same pain as him.

Ugetsu wasn’t innocent of any wrongdoings. He should have done some things differently. Just as Akihiko was ultimately responsible for not leaving, so was Ugetsu for not sticking to his decision of breaking up and not allowing Akihiko to linger. Personally, I don’t agree with the “Ugetsu did nothing wrong” discourse. They were both “guilty” in their prolonged suffering.

However, that is not to say I don’t sympathize with both of them. I understand why they couldn’t let go of each other despite all the pain. So, I honestly can’t vilify either of them. The way they were struggling and yet unable to stop was very human to me. “Should have” often isn’t nearly as easy as “could have”.

I think you can interpret Ugetsu as manipulative if you want to. You can interpret any character in a bad light if you want to. But in doing so, I think you’re only seeing the “what” and ignoring the “why”. You’re missing the complex, between-the-lines flip side of the coin that I think is at the very core of Given – especially regarding Ugetsu’s character and the AkiUgetsu relationship.

[sugarlove12]

Hellooooo it’s meeeeee, to no one’s surprise I still haven’t recovered from given and I don’t think I ever will u can ask @queenoftheknight that literally my heart hasn’t moved on.

So like I said in previous posts I wanted to talk about it so muchhh but the words never came since I consider myself to be someone that expresses better in person than text, but I’ll try so prepare cause this shit is gonna be long.

1. THE FUCKING OPENING OMG

I’m a very critical person when it comes to openings and for some kind of reason I was like ok let’s listen to it and haha when I was reading the lyrics my heart went 💔 cause everything is so accurate to the storyline, everything fits perfectly. If u haven’t heard the complete song pls do so, it holds so much feelings. I’m gonna share with u guys some of my favorites quotes

All the things u left behind, became my everything-> WITH THIS ONE I DIED OK I WAS LIKE OH OK BAI.

Rainy, sunny, cloudy, spring, summer, fall and winter, 365 days, u remain in all of them-> THIS ONE ASDGFHJ IS THE PART WHERE YŪKI’S GHOST HUGS MAFUYU AND THEN HE HUGS TIGHTER THE GUITAR, look I can’t emphasized how much that scene hurts me.

Even if I meet u in my dreams, it’s meaningless cause u are not here-> bruh I imagine Mafuyu saying this and X_X (this is from the extended ver).

I still hear it, it's still so real, ur heartbeat, it becomes a part of me, u become me, I become u-> I think I don’t need to say any words.

2. UGETSU’S AND AKIHIKO’S RELATIONSHIP

THIS PART MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS TO THOSE WHO HAVENT READ THE MANGA

I’m a die hard fan of Haruki and Akihiko, but when I saw that scene where Ugetsu turns back to scream at Akihiko to not go and stay with him, while crying, THAT HURT SO MUCH OMG. Idk why but I could feel his pain like, he was so used to them fighting, breaking up and then getting back together, but this time was for real, that was a definite goodbye. Don’t get me wrong they were toxic as hell and even physical violence was involved cause he punched Akihiko more than once (I think, if my memory is working), but yeah I feel bad for Uge :(

3. Yūki omg this guy

I don’t know where to begin with this guy, I don’t want Natsuki sensei to draw much about him cause he’s my ship wrecker ok. Like I’m a sucker for the bad boy style and everything and he was so caring towards Mafuyu BUT YEAH THE POINT IS I DONT WANNA SEE HIM CAUSE I DONT WANNA LOVE HIM MORE AND FEEL KIND OF GUILTY FOR SHIPPING RITSUKA AND MAFUYU.

But there’s something that tickles me, like imagine a 15 year old killing himself just cause he had a huge fight with his bf, and this is a very sensitive topic but I remember when Hiiragi was talking about him, he said Yūki was a moody person so I thought what if he suffered from depression or he wasn’t emotionally stable like that would destroy the whole fandom. So yeah Yūki bby reast in peace we love u❤️

I don’t wanna offend anyone, this comes from someone who struggles with depression, so yeah kisses💕

4. Ep 9

Do I really need to explain how much damage it made to my heart, for starters I’m not emotionally stable and this episode broke the shit out of me.

All I wanna say is that I lost it when Mafuyu starts to talk to Yuki (u know what I mean) and starts reminiscing the past and ASDFGHJKL , the part when he screams AHHHH woahhhh My emotions left my body, if this platform were more safe I would show u guys pics of me that day AND THE VN I SENT MY FRIENDS OH GOD IT WAS ME SOBBING.

5. Mafuyu’s and Ritsuka’s relationship

I loveeeeee them soooo muchhhh, but there are maaaany things I wanna say and I want to see if I’m the only one who thinks like this.

There are a lot of people who say that Ritsuka is a replacement for Yūki but I don’t see that, on the contrary I think Ritsuka is the one who’s helping Mafuyu to heal, to be able to express himself, to allow himself feel whatever he wants to feel.

Now I’m not gonna lie if deep down I thought so in very specific moments. For example on the infamous ep 9 when Mafuyu is talking to Yūki while he’s singing, he says: I see u everywhere and the scene is Ritsuka turning his back and then Mafuyu sees Yūki, and at that moment I was TRIGGERED also in a manga ch Mafuyu sleeps over at Ritsuka’s and feels like crying cause Ritsuka had the same clock as Yūki, LIKE WHAT ARE THE ODDS, but yeah I don’t think he’s a replacement ok, those were just moments of doubt :)

Well I would’ve loved if the author had put more time between Yūki’s death and the beginning of the story cause idk the exact time but it was less than a year, and within months I think is SO HARD to get over ur ex who just committed suicide because of something U SAID, which also happens to be ur first love, childhood friend, someone who stood by u in so many aspects of ur life (his dad getting arrested) AND OH LET’S NOT FORGET THAT U REALIZED THAT WHAT U SAID WAS WRONG SO U CAME TO APOLOGIZE BUT OHOH TOO LATE BRO, so yeah to be able fall in love in couple of months and get over all that trauma seems a little unrealistic but I won’t fight it cause I love them lots.

Ritsuka is literally the only person that can be with Mafuyu specially in this time and circumstances, cause like I said, simultaneously as Mafuyu is developing a relationship with him,he’s also trying to 1. Move forward and get over Yūki 2. Forgive himself and Yūki, which if u ask me doing those 2 things while being in a relationship, the other person has to be very patient and we can see that with Ritsuka so that’s why I think that he’s gonna be Mafuyu’s second and last love ❤️.

Special mention to the quote on the title: can’t say goodbye, I’m still drifting with your echoes.

I hope I can see our baby Mafuyu always like this cause my god this smol boi deserves pure and entire happiness after all the shit he’s been thru

I think I got a LOT out of my chest and if u’ve made it till here thank u so much, I love u and appreciate it to the bottom of my very very small fujoshi otaku heart