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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 days ago
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Meet the Family 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Your boss needs a last-minute favour for the holidays.
Characters: Lloyd Hansen
Note: um I woke up to this in my head. Sorry.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.
Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖
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You honk your horn as another driver slowly veers toward the line. You’re not letting them in. If they can’t weave in, then they aren’t fast enough to leave the slow lane. You sigh and gesture at them as kindly as you can in that instant. You have enough going on. 
Your phone starts to ring. Again. You tap the button on your steering wheel to answer. You would know who it is even without his custom ringtone. Your boss allows no space for breathing, even on a call. 
“How far out are you, pixie?” Lloyd asks as you growl and lean on the gas pedal. You hate driving on the highway, especially at night, and the sky is steadily dimming. 
“Close,” you assure him. “Next exit,” you flip your blinker on. 
“Thank god. You got everything?” 
Yeah, everything you forgot. You don’t give the dry retort aloud. You know better. Where your boss has no filter to be found, you find yourself often censoring yourself. As much for his ego as for others’. Arguing never gets you anywhere. 
“I believe so--” 
“You believe or you do?” He asks impatiently. 
“Mr. Hansen, I got everything on the list,” you assure him. “All with a bow on top.” 
“A life saver, pix, I swear,” he praises, but a compliment from him is rarely genuine, more transactional. You did him a favour so he’ll give you a treat. 
“Alright, I need to get over, ramp’s coming up. So--” 
“Yeah, yeah,” his ends rustles and you hear a muffled female voice, “I got shit going on too. You got the address, text me.” 
He hangs up first. You can never be the first to end the call. He has to make the decisions. You just know how to guide him to the right one. You merge into the exit lane and follow the ramp away from the whirring stream of headlight. Finally. 
You’re less than pleased to be within minutes of your destination. This isn’t how you envisioned your holiday. A last-minute itinerary change to fix yet another of Mr. Hansen’s oversights. It’s never a mistake, he’s just a man with so much going on that it slipped his radar. Another bandage for his ego. 
The slower pace feeds your agitation. At least on the highway, you felt like you were getting somewhere. The lazy roll of the cars in the town tweaks at the nape of your neck. You just want to be in one place and that won’t happen even when you get to Mr. Hansen. 
You’ll be lucky to have two hours of sleep before you have to catch your rebooked flight. Yep. You’ll play Santa and drop off your lot before hiding at the hotel long enough to dread the airport jungle. Then it’s off to your own familial obligations. Those are rarely enjoyable and being a day later than promised will hardly please your mother. 
Your phone announces your arrival at the destination. The long drive of the over-sized suburban mansion is full. You park on the street and turn on the interior light. You get out and open the back seat. The whole medley of shiny paper and quaffed bows stares back at you. 
You text Mr. Hansen and wait, huffing and puffing with impatience. Of course, you have to upheave your plans to meet his deadlines, but he’s taking his time. It’s not a surprise, not even a disappointment, you expected as much. 
“Pixieee,” Lloyd drags out the last syllable, “there you are, pretty pixie.” 
Pretty Pixie? He’s drunk or he’s going to ask for something else. You brace yourself as his shadow struts up the long driveway and passes beneath the cone cast by the tall street lights. Coloured lights glimmer over him from the eaves of the surrounding facades. 
“Mr. Hansen, wrapped, labelled, everything you requested,” you gesture to the backseat. 
“An angel. A true saviour, pixie,” he surprises you as he grabs your head, his palms pressing to your cheeks as he bends to kiss your forehead, “did I ever tell you you’re immaculate?” 
“Mr. Hansen,” you gently pull his wrists until he drops his hands. You smell the alcohol radiating off of him. 
“It’s the holiday, call me Lloyd, sweet cake,” he insists. 
“Right,” you tut and turn to drag out the largest gift bag, “here, you better just take all this, I have to check-in--” 
“About that,” he ignores the gift as you hold it out. “We’re just about to start dinner, you should pop in, have a bite.” 
“I can’t, Mr. Hansen--” 
“Of course you can,” he insists. You look up at him. His eyes gleam in the spectrum of lights shining from your car, the houses, and the tall poles. You sniff. He’s only tipsy, there’s still the hint of authoritarianism firmly implanted in his tone. “I told everyone you would.” 
“Everyone?” You echo anxiously. 
“The family,” he exclaims as if it should be obvious. 
“Okay, I can come say hello but--” you wiggle the bag at him. 
“Damn right you can,” he catches your hand and takes the bag. He drops it on the ground carelessly. 
“Mr. Hansen, that’s fragile,” you say. 
“Shhhh,” he grabs your hand and you curl and unfurl your fingers desperately, “Lloyd, remember?” He feels around in his pocket as he keeps you in his vice, “now, you just need to slip this on.” 
He struggles to line up the ring with your finger as you squirm in confusion. What is he doing? 
“Mr. Han--” 
“Lloyd,” he growls, all humour trickling away. He squeezes until you whimper. “Look, I just need you to smile and bat those long lashes of yours, alright?” 
“What’s going on?” 
“As far as anyone knows, I proposed to you on Thanksgiving,” he says. 
“Proposed?!” You nearly shriek. 
He hushes you again and finally rams the ring down to your knuckle. “Look, pixie, mommy’s being a real pain in my ass so you just need to play along.” 
“Mr.--” 
“If I have to tell you one more time--” 
“Lloyd,” you gulp, “please. I... this is... strange. What? Why? I have a flight in eight hours.” 
“Cancel it,” he sneers. “Double time and a half for holiday overtime. See the family in the New Year.” 
“What? That’s-- This is insane--” 
“This is your job, honey,” he clings to your hand. “To do what I say or you can spend your January trawling the job boards.” He squeezes until the band digs into your flesh. “Now, I know Mr. Walker thinks you’re darling and he offered you a role last year but once I tell him about your little defiance issue, I don’t think he’ll be interested--” 
“Huh?” 
“I know a lot more than you think,” he grits. “Alright? So let’s start getting this shit inside. That’ll give you a chance to get yourself together.” 
“Lloyd,” you gasp. “Why--” 
“No more fucking question. Since when did you get so uppity,” he barks. 
“Sir--” 
“Ah, none of that, either,” he lets you go and waggles his finger in your face. “Relax. Have some eggnog when we get inside and take the edge off.” 
“This can’t be happening,” you murmur. 
“It’s fucking happening, alright?” He picks up the bag off the ground. “I keep you around ‘cause you’re quick on your feet, Pix, so let’s get to it.” 
“Oh god,” you utter. 
“Keep it to yourself,” he warns. 
Your disbelief has you a bit dumb. You’re panicking. He knows you have an insurance policy with Walker and you have no doubt he’ll do all he can to spoil your future if you fuck around with his present. You’ve worked long enough for him to believe his threats, even when everything else is dubious. 
You turn and grab several gifts from the backseat. You move out of his way and he gathers some more himself. He backs up and uses his knee to close the door. He nods you toward the house. 
“Smile, act like you’re excited,” he commands. 
You pass him and stare up at the blaze of holiday lights. The lawn is decorated with a Santa and sleigh, complete with all his reindeer. You make the march up the walk and towards the glowing windows that trim the front door.  
Lloyd comes up next to you and kicks it, “open up.” 
It isn’t long before obedience appears from the other side. You do a double take at the man who answers the door. He looks a lot like Lloyd but not. He doesn’t sport the same bristly stache and his hair neatly combed, the sides unshaved but tidy. He rolls his eyes. 
“Was hoping you got lost in the snow,” the man scoffs. 
“Shut up,” Lloyd shoulders through, “always a fucking prick, Hugh.” 
The other man snarls, “don’t fucking call me that.” 
“Aw, I’m sorry, baby boy,” Lloyd puts the gifts on the bench against the wall, under the large mirror with an elaborate frame. “Why don’t you go suck on mommy’s teat?” 
“You’re disgusting,” the other man, Hugh, hisses. 
“Speak for yourself. We’re the OnlyFans thot? She not joining us?” 
“Oh, fuck you.” 
“Fuck you, fuck me, we already did this, remember?” Lloyd faces him. 
“And who’s this slut?” The man tosses you a sharp glare.  
“Woah, man, that’s my future wife,” Lloyd lies so easily it startles you. He sounds almost genuine and you’ve never heard him sound like that. “Not a slut, so keep your eyes and your hands to yourself.” 
“Huh, I didn’t believe it,” the man puts his hand on his hip as he looks you up and down, “she’s tiny.” 
You narrow your eyes, speechless as they talk about you like a new lamp. 
“Ransom,” Lloyd gestures to him derisively, “Pixie. Now you’ve met so you can skedaddle back to the liquor cabinet.” 
The man, Ransom, snickers, “good luck, sweetheart,” he scoffs. “If you need a drink, just look for me. You probably will. At least for the next forty years.” 
He struts off through the archway behind him and you look at Lloyd. He takes the armful of gifts from you and grumbles. He stops and crosses his arms.  
“Well, get your boots off. Mom will kill you if you’re tracking salt all over her freshly polished floors,” he shakes his head. “And a bit of advice, stay away from my cousin. Ransom’s a fucking pest.” 
“Right, sir.” 
He tilts his head and you show your palms, “Lloyd.” 
“Good girl,” he says and slips free of his loafers. “Now, you’re going to have to meet my parents before anyone else or I won’t hear the end of it. I’ve already got an earful. I know I shoulda booked that resort...” 
You unzip your boots and set them aside on the rack. You stand and he beckons you past the open archway and down the hallway. You take in the decor; gold on beige on ivory. It’s all very luxurious. 
He pushes through a white birch door and warmth enshrines you along with the smell of turkey. There’s a clattering beneath a shrill voice snapping out orders, “oh, not mashed, whipped!” 
A tall blonde woman crosses her arms as she hovers like a vulture over the aproned staff crowded around the large marble island. Lloyd grabs your hand and drags you after him. Your socks slip on the tile as dread coils up your limbs. 
“Mom, she’s here,” he announces as he gets close to her. 
“Ugh, about time, they already set the table and I was dreading the empty plate,” she slithers. She turns her chin down to see you, “Oh, look at her. She’s so... petite.” She levels her hand with the top of your head, “much different than I envisioned.” 
You look at Lloyd as he pushes his shoulders back. You’ve never heard anyone talk to him like that and you’ve never seen him so uptight. You turn your attention back to the woman. 
“Hello, Mrs. Hansen, it’s nice to meet you,” you offer your hand. 
She considers it then grabs it, turning the ring up. You examine the jewel as she does the same, your first glimpse at the thing. She harrumphs, “that’s the ring?” 
“Mom,” Lloyd utters. 
“Mm, very well. Dear, you may call me Gwenyth, not Mrs. Hansen,” she lets you go. “Now, dear son, out of my way. I’m trying to get dinner done.” 
Lloyd stares at her, almost expectantly, the takes your hand again and leads you away. He pulls you back through the door. You don’t dare say a word. He leads you away from the kitchen and the wall of voices buzzing from the front room. He guides you through the archway opposite and around to another door. 
He knocks and there’s a lull as you wait. He taps again. There’s coughing from the other side. “What do you want?” 
“Just me, Dad,” Lloyd answers. 
“Ugh, get in here then,” the timbre calls back. 
Lloyd twists the knob and urges you in ahead of him. The smell of cigar smoke blows in with the cold wind. A gray-haired man puffs by the window, his efforts to puff through the opening sabotaged by the wintry gusts. 
“Close the door. I don’t need the banshee sniffing me out,” he growls. 
“Sure,” Lloyd shuts the door. “Dad, uh, this is her. The woman I told you about. My fiance.” 
“Took you long enough,” the man sneers. You flinch and his grey eyes soften, “him, I mean. Forty-three years--” 
“Dad,” Lloyd rasps. 
“Well,” his father looks you over, “she’s young. Bit small...” 
You do your best not to let your annoyance show. So you’re a little shorter than average. 
“William,” he introduces himself, “and you are?” 
“Pixie,” Lloyd answers for you. 
“Didn’t ask you, boy,” William rebukes and keeps his eyes on you. “You smoke?” 
You mull his question and sigh, “never tried it but I guess it’s never too late to start.” 
William snorts, “truer words.” He puffs, “I don’t recommend it. Horrible habit.” He tamps out the stogie in a copper tray. “Well then, is the food ready, or did you just come to show me your woman?” 
Lloyd stiffens and touches your lower back, “guess I just came to do that.” He mutters, “come on, let’s go get something to drink.” He turns and opens the door. 
“Don’t let the smoke out,” William snips as you spin around. 
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padmestrilogy · 1 year ago
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ohhhhhh the new live action star wars show that’s a spin off of two different shows, one animated, written and directed by hat man, filmed in bulk as a cost-cutting disney plus exclusive, and intended to be a mcu-style lead up to an star wars endgame had a bad finale??? why. why i never
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codgod-moved · 2 years ago
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^3^
(there’s a bonus drawing under the cut that i don’t like enough to put in its own post but i still think it’s cute lol)
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fambily :]
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lycanpunk667 · 1 month ago
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Putting this guy through more horrors than thought humanly possible actually
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fumifooms · 5 months ago
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Ok maybe kinda of a weird question you don't have to answer if you don't want to but I've seen some people saying that Chilchuck is canonically misogynistic so, as the Chilchuck especialist, do you have an opinion about that?
Anon you are brave and I love you. Listen if you, person reading this, get peeved or upset when people say Chilchuck might have had not insignificant flaws as a father and husband then probably stop reading here, we will be looking at Chilchuck like a petri dish and defile his pristine allure. Tldr: yes but actually no but really both at the same time aka people & social dynamics are complex and please let your blorbos be flawed. With that said I will be pretty casual and playful if that wasn’t clear already, sorry.
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"Aren’t you happy to be in a harem party" "No it’s soul-crushing save me". Toshiro has been drinking his fear women juice since he was young, surrounded by an assassin nanny and her fellow assassin girlies, meanwhile Chilchuck having flashbacks of getting wrung out by his 4 women household…
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Waiting on people is something we see he hates doing a couple times throughout canon and extras, here and how he says "it’s not a date" -bless his summer child heart- he frames being slow to get ready as a gendered trait to have? But I can forgive him for this one because honestly the framing of the whole page leans into that, it’s kinda questionable if we’re being highly critical of anything misogynistic or regressive. But it itself is the classic subversive "Women are desirable wallflowers— Wrong! They are a monstrous ruthless force that wears on the mind, body and soul" trope. I don’t fault Kui though, I got giggles from it, it makes sense for everyone’s characters, and Kui has never shied from gendered dynamics in her worldbuilding & characters so it’s not like she’ll write as if sex changes nothing and no one has opinions about it.
Alright alright let’s step back from analyzing this page specifically and get back to the question, is Chilchuck canonically misogynistic? It’s a complex question not because we don’t have hints but because it’s a very black and white answer to give and because misogynistic can be very wide or pretty narrow depending on how the term is applied.
What I would say? Yes, he is, in a realistic way that doesn’t automatically make him a piece of shit, though that doesn’t mean it isn’t uncomfortable or harmful. On the spectrum of misogyny he classifies to me as "It’s in the normalized lighthearted way of being a horny uncle who’s a little too loose about it around the dinner table", he’s a solid "He wants to treat women as pieces of meat and jokes about it but in actuality he’s a gentleman and a family careerman who has a job so he don’t really care about that rn".
Going back to Toshiro’s party, Chilchuck being weird about it being full of women doesn’t even happen only once but TWICE. I made a compilation of every time he’s crass, happens less than you might expect but the overall picture it gives throughout reading the manga is pretty straightforward. Repeatedly he’s shown to be dirty-minded and shown to objectify & sexualize women both lightheartedly and unprompted. They’re a punchline and they’re eye candy and it’s "of COURSE my succubus would be young women, of COURSE women would desire a muscled statue’s [redacted], of COURSE women are sexual beings and of course I am attracted to them".
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Dungeon Meshi doesn’t bring up sexuality much and gendered dynamics tend to be more subtle than you’d expect from media in general, so there’s that, but I honestly struggle to think of any character that acts less normal about women existing than him. Like yeah he’s joking but Hien, Benichidori, Inutade and Maizuru were just breathing and doing their jobs. Who else’s misogynistic uhh, that guy working for the shadow governor that licks Cithis�� ear when she’s bound in ropes? The sheer jump from ‘makes demeaning jokes about women’ to ‘assaulter’ between these two, god.
Honestly it does feel odd to me that he’d be kinda demeaning like that about women even in a workplace setting —Chilchuck the union man out of everyone?— but Kui has spoken man idk, think what you will don’t shoot the messenger. It’s not like he’s weird about Namari? I guess he respects her too much- Wait that sounded wrong. Maybe it’s literally just because she and the other women party members are his direct coworkers, in line with his rule and all? But yeah, even if he canonically had a thing for blondes and pretty young women he has managed to only tease Marcille ceaselessly for fun & entertainment and make her hair extra shiny as his shapeshifter, you get a good behavior star there Chilchuck. He complains on waiting for Marcille to get ready in the barometz chapter and the first anime ED but he also does with Laios when he’s late to meet up the party in extras. He constantly pulls on Marcille to get her to safety as if she can’t protect herself but she’s referred to as clumsy a lot so he has that justified reasoning. He constantly berates everyone so no point to make there. He undermines Marcille’s opinions often but it’s because he dislikes mages and elves and idealism. Clearly Chilchuck knows women can be capable and clearly he can have women coworkers (and friends! Again, Namari) without belittling or sexualizing them, clearly he can be normal about women and knows that some of his attitude can be inappropriate. It’s just harmless fun to him, that he keeps for occasional playful banter and taverns and the ‘right’ moods.
And as I mentioned earlier! Chilchuck is also pretty gentlemanly and protective. As always desires vs wants and instinct vs rationality show up as themes. Yes his succubus aka his ideal, the deepest allure he can imagine, is beautiful naked women, but a chapter just before that was the bicorn, all about how faithful and virtuous he is, how his heart’s in the right place. His brain is virtuous but his heart is monkey. My point is that when it counts, aka 90% of the time and when things are serious, we don’t see signs of sexist bias and he treats women well. Often takes on a protector role or at the least takes them seriously, even Benichidori. He doesn’t want to hurt women or thinks they’re insignificant or anything. He’ll give a handkerchief to a woman in need with a slimy face.
Okay okay this is really entering speculation territory but in my own tally, the way he dismissed his wife’s ‘bad mood’ as some meaningless tantrum that he shouldn’t think any more deeply about, him starting out not reaching out to her as a resentful silent treatment, and her getting dissatisfied in the first place enough to leave makes me think he took her for granted and was kinda dismissive of her in general. Marcille’s theorical scenario is hypothetical and factually untrue at least in parts, but if we do follow it, him forgetting he’s out with his wife for once (in the precious counted time he’s home spending time with her) and not paying attention to her all outing, resulting in her being left out of conversations and just an ornament beside him the way she might have felt for a long time as his housewife waiting home for him to come back………
Editing this paragraph in: Okay I don’t know how I missed mentioning this but, when he’s asked why his wife left him, Chilchuck literally point blank thinks that being thought to have cheated on his wife is LESS SHAMEFUL than not knowing the reason why (due to poor communication skills or whatnot). It’s so ridiculous that it can be hard to see beyond it as a gag or twist, but make of this what you will but this is not a great look for his priorities and his view of women especially in regards to toxic masculinity, good lord. When I talk about him having a sense of being entitled to his wife and dismissive of her emotions that’s sort of what I mean. He thinks it’s better for people to think he mistreated his wife and did something terrible than just failed at keeping her affection for reasons he doesn’t grasp. His pride, both in giving her the silent treatment and doing damage control when talking about it to others like Marcille and coworkers, takes priority over their relationship and love.
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Half-foots seem to be patriarchal. The last section of this essay’s chapter (not by me!) + combing through its half-foot chapter should give you insight on that if you want. It’s in their patronymic, it’s in the way marriage seems very important especially for women, and it’s in the implied gender roles, being a housewife whose life revolves around raising her husband’s kids and taling care of the family home waiting for her husband who’s out working to come back. I think Chilchuck is a bit a result of his environment and upbringing in that way, that most of the misogyny is internalized and subconscious and passive, it’s taking his wife for granted because not only does she trust her, his most precious person he’s known since he was a kid, but because she’s his wife, his woman, conceptually something that’s unwaveringly devoted, something that is very valued and enforced in half-foot communities. Here’s a short post on half-foot family bonds culturally + here’s a post on marriage and half-foots for more. The community aspect of half-foots is very strong, which makes sense especially for how empoverished and discriminated against they are, which does come at the expense of not unlike dwarves (dwarves which half-foots idolize) having more pressure to fit in and have a good reputation to not be cast out and have no support lines. By being scared and needing stability people will often be more conservative, etc etc, though the reverse is also often true, like Chilchuck with his union. But yes Chilchuck seems to have many biases he clings onto, harsh on especially Marcille and Laios, Marcille for her idealism, race and magic meanwhile Laios for his lack of social skills and ‘reckless’ behavior.
He also does the classic "Don’t you dare date my daughter!!", though it’s a bit up in the air because he only gets agitated about coworkers being suitors, not nearly as hostile to the idea when it’s some nameless dwarf. But y’know when a guy assumes every men is as horny and sleazy as they are so they’re like "never trust men"… Chilchuck does embody a lot the tropes of just, the everyday flawed middle aged man. The absentee father and careerman husband who does care despite it all. Disillusioned grumpy old man. Old divorced drunkard joe with a thing for cute young blonde women, as a friend put it.
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We know Kui subverses tropes a lot, I definitely think Kui leans into these if nothing else for the bit. He’s tropes of the strict family Father, man doing inappropriate jokes around a beer with his drinking buddies, working man exhausted and frustrated by his job, midlife crisis. Also because of how he acts with Marcille, I always say he’s the boy on the playground pulling on the pigtails of his girl friend bc he thinks it’s funny. Because he thinks she’s pretty.
So point blank, Chilchuck respects women as individuals but he can get a little lost in the sauce when thinking about women in general and jumps to sexualizing them in ways that can be objectifying and dismissive. Casual lowkey misogyny for the bit that may or may not slip into non-jokes as well sometimes when it comes to seeing women as something inherently to defend or take for granted, though he’s well-meaning. He engages in gender roles of "men should be strong and burly" and "daughters should listen to their fathers’ opinion before dating a guy". A guy engaging in patriarchy without thinking much of it y’know, more or less passive and unaware. He’s good in economic and human rights issues but would not win the political correctness medal (though he does care about optics and is very conscious of appearing as upstanding and innocent with the elves or Toshiro’s and Kabru’s parties to avoid getting thrown in jail. Overcompensating for half-foot criminal reputations etc etc. Post on that here).
Do I believe Chilchuck would march for women’s rights? Yes. Do I believe he would make ‘ye old ball and chain’ and ‘my wife’ and ‘ah women’ jokes? Yes. Do I believe he would punch anyone making one such jokes about his wife or daughters? Yes.
I was pretty flippant bc honestly Chilchuck the Sleazy Horny Old Man is hilarious to me but yes hopefully the post was decent. "How could I be sexist? I love bitches"
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chaos-lioness · 7 months ago
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In general I have not been engaging with this show in a fandom way but I gotta say Molly Cobb is absolutely my blorbo. My skrunkly problematic fave. Rotating her in my mind etc. one of my favourite ‘asshole’ characters of all time. I’m so glad they didn’t have her die of space cancer or in a fiery test vehicle crash and instead she got to round out a good decade of flying very large vehicles very fast by stalking around NASA with her fuckin. Seeing eye wolfhound and spending time in her brass tub with her weird husband (who I also love.) good for her.
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azeroth · 8 months ago
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just informed I hadn’t posted this piece I drew it a while ago and posted it on Twitter because of a whole situation anyways infected is trans masc non-binary 2 me
The context of the image is below
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phannibal · 20 days ago
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they need to come up with code words for when they’re fucking cloned or body swapped or whatever like girl this has happened at least five times at this point
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deepseawave · 4 months ago
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
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#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻‍♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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dreamyprinx · 2 years ago
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he’s performing a gay ass magic act
✧ reblogs are appreciated ✧ | ♡ buy me a kofi ♡ | ☾ commission info ☽
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mayday505 · 9 months ago
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This may be controversial but I Genuinely wish people would stop being all arrogant and patronising Abt organ donation.
Like people talking abt organ donation to me is the equivalent of those virtue signalling posts on tiktok that’s like “if you don’t do this you’re a shit human being and don’t deserve genuine love or care” cuz yeah organ donation is important but so is respecting people’s wishes who don’t feel comfortable doing it. For example if your religion doesn’t allow it. Me personally I’m not opposed to organ donation but I don’t want to sign up (I live in a country where I’m automatically assumed an organ donor unless I opt out anyways) because I have such bad anxiety if I think about it I will have a panic attack. And I struggle rlly bad w intrusive thoughts and one occurring one is Abt having my organs removed so I just hate thinking about it bc it’s genuinely really distressing for me. Like the thought of having my organs taken is just so panic inducing and awful for me to think about because it reminds me of how I’m going to die one day and I’m actually terrified of that so xxxxx and whenever I try to explain this to people when I say I’m not an organ donor (haven’t got a card that u get when u sign up) it’s like “WHY NOT??!?!?!?” “YOULL BE DEAD YOU WONT NEED THEM!!!” “WHY ARE YOU SUCH A SHIT PERSON DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT OTHERS IN NEED????” Like no. Just let me explain for two secs and stop being an asshole !!! I just think that it’s stupid cuz I think that even if it’s not for religious reasons we should still respect the wishes of the dead. If I say I don’t want to donate I don’t want to and I have a valid reason and that should be respected. I get that organ donation is struggling bc of aging population but you don’t have to make me feel guilty about my genuine fears and anxieties because you want to make yourself look better. Cuz these people don’t care they just wanna make themselves seem better than you most of the time. And they just scream at you and it’s really upsetting.
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spacemancharisma · 4 months ago
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#look obviously this is not my fucking moment hence why this is an in the tags post#but. man.#'my heart hurts' is a phrase that was thrown around a lot by the adults in my life when I was growing up#& a lot of the time it was in reference to some real bullshit so I never really thought about it except to roll my eyes#but god my heart hurts#it makes me feel like a little kid wondering why it has to be so hard to help people#to know the names and faces and stories of so many people suffering & to be able to do so little to help#one person mentioned their grandfather was martyred & it hit me like a brick#my grandfather is so important to me & I know he'll die one day & probably relatively soon#but to imagine losing him to violence??? to hate????? it makes me fucking sick#I just can't understand it I can't make sense of it#feels like watching an older kid kill a baby bird for no reason except on a scale of tens of thousands#they're just people. just human fucking beings. familes & friends & communities & there is no fucking difference between us & them#like I know it sounds all john lennon or whatever but genuinely there is no meaningful difference between me & a 25y/o palestinian woman#I could know her. I could love her. people do know & love her.#the people of gaza don't deserve this. they didn't do anything to deserve this. no one *could* deserve this.#I’m so filled with grief and rage and I couldn't be further removed from the actual horror of it all#again. this is not my moment & I know that. but it hurts so badly I just needed to get it out.#please help if you can. donate to fundraisers if you can. promote them if you can't. stand up for palestine irl.
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bibleofficial · 5 months ago
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i dream of being able to go get a couples massage but instead of w the love of my life it’s w my colon & she finally gets what the FUCK has been WRONG w her WORKED out 😭🙄
#stream#GET A GRIP#I HATE BEING ALIVE#i need to make a new tag where it’s literally just posts of my pussy causing my suffering#shitter nation#that’s it#that’s the one#swag#i say swag so innocuously that my chinese flatmate will just say it too & it makes me laugh like u know when someone has like an affirmation#& start saying it it’s that except i feel bad kind of bc the way i use it is literally butchering the word#me sitting on the bus & it stops: swag#it’s just so fucking funny ALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKALAKSLA like I CANT HELP IT IM CONSTANTLY SAYING IT MY BROTHER GOT ME STARTED DOING IT LIKE#THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#anyway#my family got hit by the hurricane yesterday & thank fucking GOD that PINE FELL IN THE OPPOSITE DIECTION bc YALL#literally it would’ve taken out the bedrooms#like the whole root system has TIPPED#but do we know why ? YES WE FUCKING DO & ITS BC FATHER KEPT CUTTING DOWN ALL THE BRANCHES bc ‘it’ll damage the roof!’ which i mean in this#case … FAIR …. BUT ALSO IN THIS CASE IT WAS SOOO TOP HEAVY#i mean like they always made ME afraid bc u can see them sway but i just thought ‘like a sailboat u need a mountain of a wave to tip’ &#hurricanes ? are the mountain … BUT SHE LASTED DURING ALL THE OTHERS#LITERALLY ALL OF THE OTHERS like this tree is older than the house & the house is OLD [FOR AMERICA] it was built in the late 70s/early 80s#like she took HARVEY & IKE FINE#which i was there during but i worry abt them bc of the lack of cell service wifi & power but i know its over so its just clean up now#sucks to be my brother bc my father sent pics of him w an axe having to cut the tipped tree from the road lmfao#wait why is he using an axe we literally have a chainsaw#probably bc the tree’s wet & it’ll fuck up the chain & it has to be out of the road bc that’s where it landed btw lmfao it was house or road#& it’s in the road thank FUCK - NO DAMAGE TO ANY CARS literally we were sooooooo LUCKY#ANYWAY i’m only on a few hours of sleep & tired & my knee kills bc it actually got damaged during the omar assault so ive a new knee brace#swag … :( im just so tired. i’m so over constantly feeling like im being watched 24/7 it has genueinly put so much stress on me
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selunesfavouriteprincess · 6 months ago
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thinking about my Durge Pollux and his dynamic with Shadowheart and Lae’zel. because he definitely sees parts of Orin in both of them even if he doesn’t remember who his little sister is any more. he recognises the love of the kill, the skilled way she dispatches their victims in Lae’zel’s efficient military outlook, the well-trained understanding of perfecting a kill. and in Shadowheart he connects to the artistry, the almost playful love of the macabre, how she gleefully describes everything that can go wrong with the gallows the same way she talks about her favourite books. and both of their stubbornness, well, if that isn’t the most infuriating yet familiar thing he’s ever experienced.
and he unknowingly starts to treat them both like his little sisters, looking out for them the way he once looked out for Orin (because he did love her and want to look after her, in his own confused Bhaalspawn way), encouraging their kills, showing them how to please Bhaal even if he doesn’t realise that’s the goal behind his actions. the fact they almost fight to the death weekly is good, that’s how they should behave, and he tells Lae’zel how Shadowheart’s braid is a huge liability in a fight, reminds Shadowheart that if she’s physically weaker she has to fight sneakier. and he couldn’t be prouder whenever one of them has the other at knifepoint.
#Durge: Pollux#I think the way I’m seeing him now is that he is guided by the urge but he isn’t doing the ‘evil’ choices#the blood of the leaders at the goblin camp is as wonderful as any other kill#and I’m just. I’m so Emotions about the Orin Durge sibling dynamic that I can’t help but think about it in my playthrough#him being drawn to Shadowheart and Lae’zel and wanting to guide them. his surrogate siblings.#and I think why he’s so specifically drawn to those two is that they have clear personalities but they’re also both blank slates#Lae’zel is new to Faerûn and is so used to her crèche and nothing else that he HAS to guide her. has to help her#and Shadowheart can’t remember anything poor mite. she worships the wrong god (he doesn’t know HOW he knows Shar is the wrong one#but he knows it for certain) and it’s his job to make sure she gets brought back on track#he has experience with wayward little sisters even if he can’t remember it. he’s drawn to ‘helping’ them both#(that’s why he encourages Shadowheart to free the Nightsong. sacrificing her to SHAR is completely wrong. deny your goddess Shadowheart.)#(deny Vlaakith too Lae’zel. your goddesses are false goddesses. turn from them and join me)#and he genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing because he’s so mentally traumatised and has such a twisted perspective from growing up#as a Bhaalspawn and being raised in the temple where this was the way of life#anyway I have tag rambled enough in this post where nobody is gonna read it
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skeleton-monarch · 1 year ago
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this isn’t the most important ever but!
if you think i’m funny or smart or hot or whatever, please help a bipolar bitch out with their financial mistakes?
ko-fi
paypal
i need about $500 in total, i’m planning on doing uber eats again to get there but i live in the desert, have a severe photo intolerance and an even worse heat intolerance, and it’s summer, so… i want to minimize how many days i have to work.
i’ll update the op with the amount i have so i don’t create a super long chain, so check here for updates.
250/500
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uncaught-coolfish · 2 years ago
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rambling time but while I’m fine with emerald getting redeemed (it was gonna happen eventually) and thank fuck for ilia getting redeemed but if they redeem cinder and especially if they redeem salem herself I will throw a metal chair at
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