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justkending · 2 years ago

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Finding Memories. Chapter 15.

Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Reader

Word Count: 4400+

A/N: For those of you who have been patient with this story, I would like to say that your reward is here! Meaning, we are finally going to get some answers friends;) I hope you enjoy and I’m excited to see what all you think! Happy Valentines Day loves! Here is my gift to you!!

TW: Torture, cussing, and blood.

Chapter 15:

The next morning, Bucky found himself awakened just as Y/N was about to walk out the door. Either she had been extremely quiet in her morning routine, so much so not to wake the light sleeper spy, or he had really been that far gone in REM.

But when he saw her gathering a few small items before leaving, he sat up from the couch and rubbed his eyes, letting out a raspy voice still riddled with sleep.

“Hey,” he cleared his throat. “Where are you headed off to?”

She looked up from where she was fixing her shoe and stood up adjusting her jacket.

“Oh, hey,” she smiled at him kindly. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Given who you’re talking to, I’m shocked to say that you didn’t wake me up,” he chuckled, throwing his legs over the side of the couch and stretching in the new position. “I must have just woke up perfect timing.”

She grinned softly, happy to see that he had gotten some much-needed sleep. He seemed worn out most of yesterday but happened to do a really good job masking it.

“I’m going to go for a walk. I checked the weather this morning, and it’s actually really nice outside for once,” she answered his first question. “Would you want to come with-”

“I’ll tag along,” he stood up promptly.

Her question and his answer overlapped and they chuckled it off. Bucky quickly got dressed and the two began walking downstairs.

His main concern was her going out on her own. Considering Wanda was on a mission and couldn’t join her like normal, he figured she was finally getting comfortable enough in the environment to go on adventures on her own.

A walk around the compound was a simple step in that direction as she had already become familiar with the paths and trails that were mapped out along the property.

The first couple minutes of the walk was in silence as they basked in the rare day of warmth on a fall morning. It was still cold enough for a jacket and comfortable pants, but much less layering than normal.

“Did you see any of the show last night before you fell back asleep?” he asked.

“Yeah actually,” she smiled, hands in her pocket and eyes on the ground as she admired the color-changing leaves at their feet. “I think I was fighting sleep because of how invested I was.”

“I hate to give him credit, but Sam was the one who introduced me to Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Was kind of a stepping stone into the modern world of Brooklyn where I grew up. From a comedic and exaggerated standpoint, but setting-wise, it was a fun way to research, if you want to call it that,” he chuckled, looking down at her kicking a few more leaves with her feet.

“So you’re from Brooklyn?”

“Born and raised,” he nodded. “Steve too.”

“Wow,” she grinned at the thought. A fleeting intrusive thought came and went, wondering where her hometown was. “What was it like back then?”

“Given the time, very technologically advanced. Or at least working its way to that. I never really saw anything between 1944 to 2012 really. I revisited it shortly when I was on the run,” he answered.

He had told her a little of his time when the world thought he had killed the King of Wakanda and before when he tried to unalive Steve, so she knew what he was hinting at.

“Have you visited since then?” she asked.

“A few times. But sometimes it’s hard not seeing it the way I remember it. Overwhelming to a point,” he was honest. “I’ve learned to like the quiet of being out of city limits. A younger and less life-experience version of me would probably argue that, but I’ve gone through some things that changed my senses. It can be chaotic and hard to hear my own thoughts in what used to lull me to sleep as a kid.”

“Crazy how the world can change you,” she replied, a piece of her knowing she was a victim of that as well.

A few more minutes passed of silence as they took in the morning chirps of birds and wind rustling the leaves that had yet to be shed. Bucky also keeping an awareness of any surprises.

A question was poking and prodding at him, waiting for an answer to the mysteries that were presenting themselves recently.

“Can I ask you a question?” His tone showed he wasn’t sure if he would be pushing a boundary, but also showed that he had things he was curious about her as well.

“Sure,” she nodded, still looking down at the leaves.

He worried his question would sound intrusive when in reality he was trying to figure out what all had been going on with Nat and Wanda.

“How has training been going?” He kept it simple to start out.

She noticeably locked up some at that, and he took it as if he had pushed too far. When in reality, the weight of not being a hundred percent honest about their findings was nagging at her recently.

“Remember, when you’re ready to tell others, that’s your choice. We’ll help you figure it out until you’re ready for more people to know,” Wanda’s voice echoed in her thoughts.

She never hesitated in trusting Bucky since he proved to be protective at the museum. Before that, she truthfully had found he was one of the few people in this world she had a genuine and natural trust toward. She had felt awful about keeping their discoveries about herself from him, but she had done it in fear of not truly knowing what all she was capable of.

But after opening up to each other and the last few days spending quality time with each other, made keeping the secret hard and unnerving.

Yet here he had created the space, to be honest finally and she was ready to let him in on it all.

She stopped in her walk and when Bucky noticed, only one step ahead, he stopped and turned back to her with concerned eyes.

“I haven’t been ready to share with anyone really what all came of that night at the museum, but it’s only because I didn’t understand it for myself and I wanted to talk to another girl about it,” she started, he took a soft step forward. “I just was worried you would be scared of what I did that night, but I didn’t even know for sure what I did.”

He lowered himself some to see her eyes where she was avoiding looking at him.

“Y/N,” he reassured, placing a calming hand on her shoulder and coaxing her to look at him. “If you’re worried about my feelings being hurt because you waited until you were ready to tell me what’s going on, you shouldn’t be.” His words worked in getting her to make eye contact and he could see the distress ease some. “You never pushed me to tell you my past or worries. You let me explain them to you when I was ready. I would be a hypocrite to expect something different.”

She smiled at that, but then it slowly fell when she realized just how much she had kept from him.

“Truthfully, it’s just kind of small things here and there, but-”

Her thought process was cut off and she looked over Bucky’s shoulder with eyes full of fear. He picked up on it immediately and turned around with his body shielding hers in instinct.

But he didn’t see anything. It was the same clear path they had been walking the whole time.

Then, before he could process the fact that there was a smell in the air that he knew, Y/N had jumped in front of him. She raised her arm and the sound of a shot echoed at the same time a large purple haze shielded them from the attempt. Bucky scanned the plum smog filled with overwhelming colors glistening throughout.

In any other situation, he would be looking closely at the details and making note of everything that he saw, but this situation could turn any second. There was a threat and that was his main priority.

When she looked up from her position, eyes squinting, and realizing that it was done on instinct. An instinct she forgot she had until now. With her arm still up, they looked down seeing a squished bullet slightly smoking on the ground after its impact with the powerful mist.

Bucky and she both shared a look of astonishment, but they were quickly occupied with who the assailant was.

As if a completely different person, Y/N looked forward once again. When her eyes were back on the target, he noticed an anger in her eyes and a look of recognition.

Before he could look back to where she was staring, still seeing nothing himself, she twisted her hands in what looked like a practiced way. Both heels of her palms connected and with her hands open, she twisted them to the right making them change positions.

In the motion, a dark purple field with specks of rays colors in energy enveloped her hand, and in front of them was a man with his arms stuck to his sides struggling to get out of the hold of invisible restraints.

Bucky hadn’t realized, but in the past 30 seconds of all this happening, he had been stuck there with his mouth gaping wider and wider with each action she did.

She stepped forward to the man a little more than 10 feet in front of them. Her look still showed her anger at the attack, but unlike the museum, she wasn’t terrified. She looked pissed.

“You,” she mumbled, her hands still glowing and being the only thing keeping him incapacitated.

He didn’t say anything, just stared at her in an intimidating and annoyed way. Bucky could see fear in his eyes, but behind it, he could see annoyance at her quick response.

“You weren’t supposed to be able to do that yet,” he seethed, once again struggling in the invisible hold she had him in.

“Who the hell are you?” The adrenaline was already wearing off, and the realization of the whole scene was settling in, but she pushed it away wanting answers. “What do you want?!” she shouted.

He stared at her with a stone-cold look. He wasn’t going to talk. Bucky knew what the type of stubbornness was like on someone you needed information on. He knew there was a good chance they weren’t going to get anything out of him here. Not now at least.

Bucky had to snap out of the bombshell that was just dropped on him and get Y/N and the enemy to a secure location.

“Friday, tell Stark to get the cell ready. The one we talked about,” he quickly instructed into his watch, not stopping to hear a response as he approached Y/N.

Before he could de-escalate the situation, Y/N moved her hands in another way that showed this wasn’t the first time she had done it, and the man fell to the ground completely knocked out.

Bucky was once again trying to wrap his head around what just happened, but decided the questions would have to be asked at a less time-sensitive moment.

When Y/N saw the unconscious body she looked shell-shocked at him. Bucky pulled her shoulder to him to turn her back to the body.

“I’ll handle this, but I can’t let you leave my side, ok?” he instructed calmly.

She nodded, closing her eyes and trying to control her breaths which were becoming shakier and shakier by the second.

“He won't be out for long, so we need to move him quickly,” she said in a small voice. “Don’t ask me how I know that, but trust me please.” Her plea was almost as if begging him to not look at her as a monster after she did what she did.

“I trust you, Y/N. It’ll all be ok, I promise,” he nodded, assuring her that he wasn’t freaked out, even though he was.

But it wasn’t the kind of freaking out that lost his trust. He was freaked out that she did what she did without hesitance and as if she had done it a hundred times before.

Quickly, Bucky picked up the man and before they got to the entrance of the compound, a team of agents was already bringing equipment out that would keep him detained.

After finding out about the enhancements of all those they were up against, Tony was quick to create restraints that would hopefully hold any type of mutant they had researched. He had made a form of handcuffs that kept the man from changing density, and he learned the invisibility enhancement was just bending light to keep others from seeing what he projected it toward.

What would be impossible fixes for a normal person, but was just an average Tuesday experiment to Stark.

___________________________

In the process of getting the new enemy in a secure environment and restraints, Bucky refused to let Y/N anywhere outside of his peripherals.

He was working on the paperwork to admit the detainee and get the start of his report in. He wished he could have just signed a few and gone to check in with Y/N immediately, but paper and signature line one after the other wouldn’t stop coming.

Y/N was across the room waiting for one of the nurses to do a check-in with her, while everyone else was running around frantically trying to get things under control after learning about the infiltration.

Agents were running around checking security cameras and entrances, though they were coming up just as empty as Bucky did considering how he was able to break in. Tony was discussing security measures and instructions with the modified restraints and the room he was now in. Shield scientists were already running reports and writing up tests to answer the multitude of questions that were brought to them.

It wasn’t the type of environment that Bucky wanted her in and he knew it was slowly starting to get to her when he could see clear signs of stress from the distance.

Her leg was bouncing. Her hair was disheveled from the number of times she had combed her fingers through it. She couldn’t seem to focus on one thing and was watching everyone scramble around her. She had been fidgeting with her hands; popping them, intertwining them, and squeezing them together in patterns.

He knew she was freaking out and wanted to get her out of there, but every time he got a step closer, another person was cutting him off, asking him questions, and making him sign things.

Just before he was going to break through the crowd, not worried about another question that needed to be answered, he noticed the nurse they had been waiting on, was finally there.

She bent to the ground, set her medical bag by the chair, and started saying things that Bucky couldn’t hear over the chaos that was happening around him. She must have started listing all the things she was going to check up on because he could see Y/N avidly shaking her head at her instruction.

Bucky watched closely, not paying any attention to the agent showing him security footage and asking how she saw him. He knew she was already on edge, and having to deal with a stranger at this time, wasn’t the best plan.

Then she made the mistake many rookies made. She tried to lend support through physical touch by reaching out and placing a hand over Y/N’s trembling ones.

Bucky knew instantly shit was about to hit the fan. Anyone struggling with PTSD, and especially with one that had triggers like Y/N, they were the last person you wanted to lay a hand on. With good intentions or not, you never know what kind of reaction you would get from physical touch.

“I SAID, I DON’T WANT TO BE CHECKED ON!” she shouted and almost everyone in a 30-foot radius turned at the outburst. It was silent for the first time in the last 20 minutes. “Damn it! Would someone just listen to me!” She was up out of her seat screaming with anger and pure frustration in her actions and voice.

It took the first three words of her eruption before Bucky was strutting to her. The kind of strut that made anyone in his path step quickly back, not wanting to be in his wake.

The nurse was freaked out and already stepping away from Y/N in apprehension, but Y/N wasn’t showing any signs of wanting to harm her. Her back was toward the nurse and she held her head in her hands tightly trying to block out everything overstimulating her around her. She began pacing in her step just trying to calm herself down.

Clearly, she wasn’t trying to scare anyone, but she was tired of being ignored.

“Hey, hey,” Bucky came up to Y/N’s side calmly, careful not to make the same mistake as the nurse. Though he had taken the time to build that bond with Y/N that type of action from him didn’t scare her anymore, he knew she was a ticking bomb at the moment and didn’t want to stress her any more than she already was. “What’s going on? Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” she grunted, still clearly irritated with the situation.

He looked to the nurse who noticed his stare and shakily brought a paper out to show the order that she was given. She came just to check her vitals and take a blood sample.

Bucky nodded, showing she wasn’t in trouble, but gave her a head nod showing it was best she just stayed back. She agreed, grabbed her bag quickly, and moved to another area.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his hands up showing surrender if she did turn around. The signal showcased that wasn’t going to make her do anything she didn’t want to. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

She didn’t respond or lift her head from the cradle she held it in. She seemed to find a place of solitude in her controlled position. He let her stay there for a bit and when he turned to see most people still staring in dead silence, he gave a glare to them all and they quickly went back to work.

If there was one thing about his past that was actually beneficial, it was that it made it easy for him to give a single look to get what he wanted.

The loud environment started back up, and to his surprise that seemed to bring her back to him. He deducted she didn’t care for the attention on her and wanted privacy in her meltdown given being in a very public place.

And deep down, she was embarrassed that she had reacted the way she had. She didn’t mean to scare the women trying to help her, but everyone was ignoring her when she said she was fine. She didn’t want help. She didn’t want people messing with her while she tried to process what just happened.

Yet not a single person listened when she said she needed a second alone. They just kept telling her not to leave and to stay seated and wait until she was checked on by a professional, while they hauled Bucky to the other side of the giant facility.

“I just needed a second,” Y/N finally replied. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “But no one would let me have it.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “It’s protocol to run those kinds of tests. I meant to tell them to wait, but they kept hauling me back for more notes.” He took a step forward, lowering his arms some.

She turned halfway to him. Her anger dissipated some but the hurt and annoyance were evident in her body language.

“Can I go?”

“Now?”

She didn’t answer but instead gave him a look that asked, “Are you seriously asking me that?”

This version of her was new to him. He had seen her terrified and stunned. He’s seen her upset and saddened. He’d seen her happy and comfortable. But he had never seen her angry.

This was new territory to him and he wasn’t sure how to approach it. Especially since his answer was not the one she was wanting from him.

All he could think to do was be honest.

“I know you want to get out of here, but I think you should at least let her take your vitals. What happened out there wasn’t something you can just walk away from-”

“I’ve walked away from worse,” she snarked back.

He’d seen positive sides to her bold and quick wit traits, but he wasn’t sure how to take this meaner version of it.

“Y/N,” he furrowed his eyebrows, still trying to process her remark. He didn’t want to be domineering, but he was extremely protective of her at the moment and needed her to be ok. “I’m not trying to make you upset, but it won’t hurt to have someone check to see if everything is ok.”

“Please, just let me leave,” she turned her back to him again, bringing her arms to hug herself. Her snark started to die as she was becoming exhausted begging for someone to just trust her and let her leave. “I’m fine. I just want to go curl under a blanket and hide away.”

He got it now.

The flip of anger to surrendering back and forth was partially her adrenaline crashing, and partially what he believed to be guilt. The emotion came from feeling at fault for all this happening to people she’d grown close to, homes.

He hated that she felt that way when she was at no fault at all. It wasn’t her fault that people were hunting her down even though she was actively avoiding them. And it wasn’t her fault for them infiltrating a highly secure facility. She was not at fault for others actions.

Bucky wanted to grant her her request and let her go curl up away and hide from the world that wanted so badly to keep beating her down. He wanted to be the person who kept her safe from it as well.

But in keeping her safe, they needed to do a check-up after what he saw her do. There was no way everything was normal.

“Doll,” he started, and she turned to him with hope in her eyes. But before he could crush her dreams, he was saved by Bruce.

“Hey. What’s going on over here?” he smiled, friendly and keeping a casual tone about everything even though he was coming into the facility when he heard the commotion. “Everything ok?”

“Banner,” Bucky sighed, a breath of relief following. He stayed next to Y/N but motioned Bruce closer. “I could use your help,” he whispered to him.

Bruce nodded but went on to ask Y/N questions knowing how to play his cards.

“I heard what happened. Is everyone ok?” he asked her, really asking because he knew the answer that everyone was ok, would relieve a person's soul that feels guilty for what they did. Experience, wink, wink.

When she turned to him, she looked back at Bucky as if double-checking he was actually ok, and then looked back to Banner and nodded.

“Good. Then everything is perfectly fine,” he smiled reassuringly. “How do you feel about getting you to bed and out of this place? It’s not very calming in here,” he shook his head before motioning for her to lead.

She gave him a look surprised someone was letting her go and she didn’t even have to ask them. But she took the opportunity quickly and began walking to the exit with the purpose of getting out of there fast before they could change their mind.

Bucky and Bruce followed behind and Bucky started getting onto Banner.

“What are you doing?! She needed to have someone check her over and make sure she didn’t get hurt,” he started.

“She stopped a bullet with her hands, Barnes. I don’t think she got hurt,” he chuckled as if not even slightly bothered by the problem Bucky was worrying himself about.

“The hell?!” Bucky was confused by the scientist. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I am,” he replied, following about 20 steps behind Y/N. “I’m not letting that new intern poke and prod at Y/N.”

“What?” Bucky was lost now. “She was a normal nurse.”

“No, she was called due to an emergency. She was a student CNA which is a nurse's assistant,” he broke down. “I watched her put an IV in a plastic dummy 12 times before she got it right. That thing doesn’t have a pulse or move and she kept missing.”

Bucky’s head turned at that. It made sense why she made such a rookie move touching Y/N’s arm without a second thought. And the horror on her face when she was screamed at…

“Ok, but why are you letting her go to her room?” he whispered now they were out of the loud and overpowering ruckus.

“I can still take a sample and run a simple check-up from there,” he shrugged. “Plus she’s more comfortable in her own space, so I won’t be poking her when she’s already anxious and uncomfortable. She hates needles already. Why add to the stress?”

“You have no tools on you,” Bucky checked him.

“I had someone leave a bag in the kitchen if she ends up letting me do the check-up,” Bruce answered.

“How did you know-?”

Bruce stopped in his step and Bucky halted with him.

“I know you’re smarter than this, Barnes. But I also know you’re probably still in shock with everything that just happened. Most everyone here suffers from PTSD. The Avengers just happened to be the most mentally ill considering how we tend to all get to that kind of ranking,” he smiled at him, before placing a hand on his shoulder and looking up at him with a wise grin. “I know too well the steps a person takes to calm their nerves. I knew Y/N would be freaking out after what happened out there. I too would rather be in my room than the hell we just walked out of.”

And he walked on following where Y/N clicked the elevator and kindly waited next to her as she rocked on her feet waiting for the number to match their floor.

Maybe it was the fact he was still trying to process the whole last hour of everything they had gone through.

Shit. It had only been an hour.

He hadn’t even had a chance to process it all.

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sfb123 · 3 years ago

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Sapere Aude - Part 15

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

If you’re new to Sapere Aude, please click the link above to start from the beginning. There’s so much going on right now that you’ll be way too confused to start from this point. Plus, there are some major bombshells that won’t be as fun if you read this and get a bunch of spoilers.

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: PG-13 Adult language, discussions of death, conspiracy, blackmail, and other adult themes.

Trigger Warning: A brief moment of physical abuse.

Warning: The Royal Heir Book 3 Spoilers all over the place.

Disclaimer: I have no current affiliation with any other Via Imperii themed stories. Any claims that I have pre-read anything are false.

Word Count: 3,435

A/N: Guys, we’re really in the home stretch now, we’re slowly but surely getting some resolutions. I finished this up the other day, and am already halfway through the next chapter. I’m hoping to have the series completely written by the end of the weekend or early next week. I have some really exciting and unexpected things coming, and I can’t wait to share them with you!

Thank you, as always, to the amazing, @phoenixrising308 (<--- my fandom soulmate, you may know her as @jessiembruno, follow her new account so you don’t miss a second of her incredible work) & @txemrn. And to @twinkleallnight for my lovely moodboard!

Tags: Listed below, hit me up to be added or removed.

Liam’s eyes fluttered open, his wife slowly coming into focus in front of him. She was already awake, and smiled at him as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Morning.” She greeted him softly.

“Hi.” He placed a hand on her cheek and leaned in, leaving a lingering kiss on her lips.

“Do you want to talk? Drake texted me, he got Eleanor out of bed, so we have some time.” Liam silently nodded his head. Riley removed his hand from her cheek and kissed his palm before sitting up and leaning back against the headboard.

Liam rolled onto his back, stretching his arms over his head with a groan before sitting up next to Riley, taking her hand in his. “And I thought our wedding was an eventful day.” He chuckled lightly.

“Liam, real talk.” Riley replied, combing the fingers of her free hand through his hair.

“I...I feel like I got some closure. I needed that moment. When it was just you telling me that she was alive, it was easy to ignore, or pretend it wasn’t real. But with her standing in front of me, I had to face the truth, face what she did to me. And now she truly knows how much she hurt me. I can move on now, and truly put her in the past.”

Riley smiled at him. “That’s great, I’m so proud of you. I also noticed that you told Thomas you still wanted a relationship with him?”

“He holds no responsibility for what happened, he was born into a life that he had no control over.” Liam’s expression became more pensive as he spoke about Thomas.

“And you understand the feeling, so you’re cutting him some slack.”

Liam nodded. “Sort of, we were both born with certain responsibilities and expectations, I can understand his feelings of obligation. As much as I missed out by losing my mother, and him, he lost out on even more. He was supposed to be a prince, he is a prince, and he’s lived as a commoner his whole life. We both missed out on so much by not having each other, like we should have. I can’t get that time back, but I can try to make up for it moving forward.”

“You’re amazing Liam, you know that right?” Riley looked at him adoringly.

He brought his hand to her face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. “You may have mentioned it once or twice before.” He leaned in and kissed her. “You know, I didn’t get a chance to properly show you how happy I am to have you home and safe.” He kissed her again, this time pulling her into his lap.

She giggled as his lips began working their way down her neck. “Liam, we don’t have time right now. I’m sure everyone is waiting for us. Rain check?”

Liam lifted his head and placed his forehead against hers. “You promise?” He kissed her softly on the nose.

“Have I ever let you down in that department?”

“Never.” He kissed her deeply, running his hands down her back until they rested on the curves of her ass.

“Good, then let’s go.” She kissed him one last time before getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Once they were ready, they headed downstairs and headed to the smaller dining room. Eleanor noticed them immediately and charged at her mother. “Mommy!”

Riley lifted her daughter into her arms and held her close for a moment before pulling away and giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Hey baby girl, were you a good hostess to our guests while mommy and daddy were away?”

“Yes mommy, the best hostess!” As Riley brushed some hair out of Eleanor’s face, Eleanor noticed the marks on Riley’s wrist where she had been bound the day before. “You have a boo-boo mommy.”

“I know baby, I do.” She held her wrist out so Eleanor could look at it.

“I can fix it.” Eleanor grabbed Riley’s hand and brought her wrist to her lips, kissing the marks with a loud smacking sound. “There you go mommy, all better now.” She smiled at her mother proudly.

Liam looked on, quickly swallowing the lump that formed in his throat at the sight. In that moment, it hit him again that not only would he have lost his wife, the best thing that had ever happened to him, but Eleanor would have lost her mother. He quickly shook off the thought, everyone was safe, and they were about to take steps to eliminate their greatest threat.

“Thank you Eleanor, it feels so much better.” Riley gave her one last hug before putting her back down. “Why don’t you go see Miss Gladys, she’ll take you into the kitchen to get something to eat. We need to have a grown up breakfast.”

Eleanor nodded and ran out of the room in search of Gladys. Riley and Liam approached the table as their friends stood to greet them. “Sit down weirdos, this isn’t a royal function, this is breakfast with friends.” Riley waived them off as everyone sat at the table. It was silent for a moment, nobody quite sure how to break the silence. “So I guess we should start by addressing the elephant in the room. Neville and Mara kidnapped me yesterday. Before you start with me; I’m fine, Neville has been arrested, Mara is dead.”

“Good riddance.” Olivia interrupted. The group laughed at her comment, breaking some of the tension in the room.

Their friends listened with bated breath as Riley and Liam recalled the events from the day before. Riley told them about the kidnapping, and everything that transpired between her and Neville. She told them how Eleanor had come to her rescue, Liam tensing slightly, as this was the first time he had heard that part of the story. She went on to explain that Liam had come face to face with Eleanor, and how proud she was of him for confronting her and lifting that huge weight of his chest.

Liam picked up the story from there, explaining that he said what he needed to say to get the closure he needed with his mother, and that he wanted to try to build some kind of a relationship with Thomas. He still wasn’t sure what that relationship would look like, but he was excited to find out.

“So where do we go from here?” Maxwell asked, once the group had been fully caught up.

“Well, we need to squash the Auvernal thing once and for all, and I think there’s only one way to do that.” Riley said. It was something she had been thinking about since the meeting where revisiting the alliance came up. “We’re going to have to release the information we got when we destroyed the alliance the first time. The only way we are going to put an end to this is to tell the world that the twins are not blood heirs to the throne.”

“But what if this group tries to spin it, or screw with the records?” Drake asked. Nobody was quite sure how to answer that, but it was a legitimate concern.

“We out the Via Imperii. If they’re a secret society, announcing that they were behind the kidnapping of our Queen, and were trying to push forward a marriage alliance with heirs that do not have true birthright to the throne will knock them off their high horse.” Olivia stated.

“But how do we know they know?”

Riley tapped her fingers against the table, thinking for a moment before chiming in. “We don’t Max, that’s fair. But they probably do, they seem to know just about everything else. Even if they don’t, they’re not going to hold their own press conference to contradict us. It kind of goes against their whole being a secret thing.”

“Very well, I will make sure to get a press conference scheduled in the coming days to make the announcements.” Liam chimed in. “I will also set up an emergency council meeting to inform them of our decision, and also move things forward with Neville.”

“What are you going to do to him? Can I be the executioner?” The excitement in Drake’s voice made Riley and Maxwell giggle, while Olivia rolled her eyes.

Liam chuckled lightly before responding. “I have thoroughly thought out his punishment, we will review it in the council meeting tomorrow.” He cleared his throat before moving on to the next open item. “Finally, I have promised Thomas and his mother that the crown would protect them for their assistance in saving Riley. Nobody knows about Thomas’s connection to the crown, or my family, so he will not need to remain in hiding. However, he is going to be a target of the Via Imperii, so he will no longer be able to guard my family. I do have a position in mind for him, I would like him to work with Bastien and I to completely overhaul the guard program.”

“It’s about damn time.” Olivia scoffed.

“I agree, Olivia. Regrettably, I have let the current program go far too long, and it almost cost my wife her life.” He reached over, taking Riley’s hand in his, offering an apologetic smile. “We absolutely cannot let another Mara slip through the cracks. With his intimate knowledge of the Via Imperii, I feel that he would be a great asset.” He paused as the room nodded in agreement. “As for his mother, she was a notable figure in Cordonia for many years, so she will need to remain in hiding. We will need to set her up in a safe house with a team of guards.”

Olivia cleared her throat to get everyone’s attention. “I can house her in Lythikos.” All heads snapped in her direction, and she sat a little taller in her seat to overcompensate for the discomfort she felt in that moment. “When I was a child, she showed me a kindness I had never known at a time when I needed it most. Liam, I respect your decision not to reconnect with her because of what she did to you, I hope you can respect my decision to want to help her because of what she did for me.”

Liam nodded. “Absolutely Olivia, as long as she and I do not cross paths, I will put her in your care.”

“Ok, so we have all the work stuff out of the way. There’s a plan, nobody is in any immediate danger. Can we please relax and have a nice breakfast and enjoy what’s left of our getaway weekend?” Maxwell asked dramatically.

“Amen to that.” Riley replied, pulling her napkin from the table and placing it in her lap. The group dug into their food, the mood much lighter than it had been when Liam and Riley arrived.

The next day Liam walked out of the state room. He had just adjourned the emergency meeting of the Royal Council to discuss everything that had been uncovered during their trip to Valtoria. He rushed to catch Drake, who had slipped out while Liam was still shaking hands and saying his goodbyes to the other council members. “Drake, hold on a moment.”

Drake stopped walking and turned to face his friend. “Hey Li, what’s up? I was just going to head home.”

“I was actually hoping you could help me out with something. I’m heading down to the cells to personally deliver the news to Neville.”

Drake’s lips curled up into a devious smile. “And you want me to be there to see it all go down? Liam, I’m speechless. It’s not even my birthday.”

Liam chuckled and patted his friend on the shoulder. “Well, it’s not just for you to bask in his misery, I need your assistance.” His expression turned serious before he continued. “Drake, after what he did to Riley, I don’t trust myself alone with him. I need you to be there to pull me off in case I go too far.”

“Li, you know I’m always there for you for anything you need, but do you really think I’m the best person to stop someone from hurting Neville? Honestly, I can’t even guarantee that I won’t jump in and throw a couple of punches myself.”

“Then we will bring Bastien along as well, but I would really appreciate it if I had you by my side for this.”

Drake nodded, and the two of them headed for the cells with Bastien in tow. When they arrived, Bastien took Neville from his cell and put him in one of the interrogation rooms. They waited before entering, giving him time to sit alone with his thoughts. Once Liam felt he had waited long enough he looked to Drake and the two entered the room together. Drake stepped back into the corner as Liam approached Neville, who was sitting at a table, but stood immediately upon the King’s entry.

“Ah, so you are capable of showing respect to your betters. I had heard otherwise.” Liam took a seat, signaling for Neville to do the same.

Neville scoffed. “Your majesty, I always have. Your queen just doesn’t happen to be one of them.”

“Oops, wrong answer.” Drake chimed in from the back corner.

Liam shot up from his seat. He charged at Neville on the other side of the table, lifting him by the front of his shirt and holding his gaze. “How dare you speak of your queen, my wife, that way.”

“Liam, why don’t you give him the good news, before you beat the shit out of him? That way he’ll be able to fully appreciate it. I know I will.” At Drake’s words, Liam released Neville who shot an angry glance in Drake’s direction. Drake winked at him.

“Of course Drake, thank you for keeping me on task.” Liam straightened his jacket and returned to his place at the table, sliding a folder across it to Neville. “Neville, you have officially been stripped of all of your titles and lands. This paperwork will provide you with the specifics, but as of about an hour ago, you are no longer a noble.”

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped, shocked at the new development. “You mean I am a…” He trailed off, unable to utter the word.

“You’re a commoner, just like me!” Drake cheerily finished Neville’s sentence for him.

Liam raised a hand to silence his friend. He was enjoying this just as much as Drake was, but as King he did need to keep an heir of levelheadedness about him. “You will also be tried with treason for kidnapping Queen Riley. Your trial will begin next week, and I don’t think you need me to tell you, but I will. It is not looking promising for you Mr. Vancoeur.”

Neville crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. “Wonderful, just let me know when the execution is to take place.”

“Oh Neville.” Liam laughed as he stood, once again walking to the other side of the table. “Do you really think you are going to be let off that easily?” Neville cocked an eyebrow as Liam got in his face, his demeanor calmer than before. “I have final say in all sentencing, and for you I have something in mind that will make you pray for death. You will be spending the remainder of your days in your cell, eating food that doesn't even register on the Michelin guide, knowing that you have no status, no pull. The life you once knew, a distant memory as you sit here for decades to come. That is the worst possible punishment I am able to bestow as your King.” Neville leaned back and audibly gulped. “As far as the punishment I am able to bestow as a husband…” Liam squared his shoulders and brought his fist back before thrusting it forward, making hard and fast contact with Neville’s jaw, knocking him out of his chair and onto the floor. As he laid there holding his face, Liam approached once more, this time kicking Neville swiftly in the ribs. “How dare you lay a hand on my wife.” He crouched down on the ground, lifting Neville by his shirt. “Please know that there is more I would like to do to you, but you are not worth any more of my time. Just remember that my American commoner wife will be up there enjoying every luxury in the world, as she deserves, while you rot away down here dreaming of the life you once had.”

Liam landed one last punch to Neville’s face before letting go of his shirt and watching his head hit the ground. He then slumped over, breathing heavily as the adrenaline began to wear off. Drake approached him and patted him on the shoulder lightly. “C’mon buddy, let’s get out of here. You got what you came for.”

Liam nodded silently as his friend helped him to his feet. Drake draped an arm around Liam’s shoulder and walked with him out of the room. He looked at Bastien, who had been waiting at the door and signaled for him to return Neville to his cell. Bastien gave Drake a curt nod and retreated to the interrogation room as Drake and Liam made their way back to the main area of the palace.

When they reached the foyer, Drake stopped Liam before he reached the steps. “Hey, are you okay? Do you want to go to your office for a drink or something?”

Liam brushed him off. “I’m fine Drake, I’m just going to head up to my quarters and relax with my family.” He extended his hand to Drake. “Thank you for coming with me today.”

“Of course man. Any time, any place. You know that.” Drake shook his hand and pulled him into a hug, clapping him on the back before pulling away. “I’m going to call you later to check in.”

Liam gave him a small smile before turning and heading up the stairs towards his chambers. Upon entering, he was greeted by an empty living room. “Riley?” He called out.

“Bedroom.” He heard her faint reply from the hallway and followed the sound of her voice.

He entered the room as she was exiting her walk-in closet holding multiple hangers. “I mean honestly, I love my life and how much you spoil me, but do I really need this many black dresses?” She let out an exasperated sigh before looking up and noticing Liam. “What happened? What’s wrong?” She dropped the dresses she was holding and rushed up to him.

“I just got back from the cells.”

“Liam Rys, what did you do?” Riley placed her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow.

“He’s fine, the medics will bandage him up. I’m sure losing his title hurt him much more than I did.” He grabbed her hands off of her hips and brought them to his lips. “He hurt you, Riley. He tried to take you away from me. I know he’s going to be punished for what he did, but it won’t ever be enough.”

Riley lifted his hand, examining it. It was red, bruises already beginning to form at the knuckles. She kissed each knuckle softly. “Come on, let’s ice it before it gets too bad.” She held onto his hand, leading him into the kitchen. “Sit.” she pointed to the kitchen table.

Hey obeyed, sitting at the table as she went to the freezer, pulling out an ice pack and wrapping it in a dish towel. She joined him at the table, sitting on his lap, and taking his injured hand in hers once more. She pressed the ice pack to his knuckles, he hissed slightly at the feeling. She pressed her lips to his in a lingering kiss as she continued to hold the ice to his hand. “To distract you from the pain.” She said with a wink as she pulled away.

“You have always been my favorite distraction.” He brought his free hand to her face, pulling her into a deeper kiss. “When is Eleanor due back?”

“Mmm..a little over an hour.” She cooed.

“Perfect, that will be more than enough time.”

“For what?”

“For me to cash in my rain check from yesterday.” Liam removed his hand from under the ice pack and lifted Riley bridal style to the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind them.

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coffeecakefanfics · 4 years ago

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Rocky Mountain Skies

So I live in the 719 (CO) and I have been DYING to write about it so here’s this hot ass mess Also it’s my first multipart story on tumblr so bear with me (I’ll do a part two because omg)

Christmas is a magical time of year where families get together and revisit the political opinions of the past month but turn around and gift each other things. For the (L/N) family it was no different.

(Y/n) waltzed through the bullpen, coffee in one hand, phone in the other.

“Yes mom I’ll be home for Christmas,” she set her things down and sat at her desk, “No mom I already requested the two weeks off, I’ll be fine,” her sigh caught a few peoples attentions.

“Mom seriously, I get into Denver Sunday at 11, papa already said he’d come pick me up. . . yes mom I know how old he is but you don’t have time remember, besides it’ll be nice to see him. . . Mom I gotta go I have a meet- yes mom I’ll let you know when I get to the airport. . . Mom I have to go byeee” She clicked her phone and leaned back, letting out a long groan.

“Mom troubles?” Derek smirked.

“You have NO idea, I love her but she needs to chill,” she smiled.

“Well I think it’s sweet,” he toys.

“Of course you do, go to work,” she shook her head teasingly.

“All right, all right,” he laughed and walked off. (Y/n) stayed seated at her desk for a majority of the day, skipping lunch to finish files. People stopped by to make small talk while she worked, which she happily sat through. As the day continued on people started packing up their things to head home. It was quiet, the only people left were (Y/n), Spencer, JJ, and Hotch.

(Y/n) Stretched, popping her back, before getting up and walking around the desks. She set her hand on a chair and spun it so the messy haired man was facing her. She smiled at him brightly.

“Hey Spence”

“Hi, uh, is something wrong?”

“No I just wanted to talk to you is all,” she sat on his desk.

“About?” he looked at her curiously. He watched the way her hair set on her shoulders and framed her face, the way her waist dipped and hips bulged slightly, the way her thighs squished when she sat. He forced his eyes beack up to her and felt his face go a little warm.

“You know in the past three years I’ve been here I don’t think I’ve seen you take a vacation, and it’s none of my business if you save it or whatever but I was curious, why?” her face twisted in thought. He sat for a second and thought.

“Well I mean I go “home” occasionally, but I guess I’ve just never had a desire to go anywhere,” he shrugged, “I mean all we do is travel for work so I guess it never really crossed my mind” he smiled at her.

“Well, I uh, look I have an extra plane ticket back home. My ex was supposed to go with me but we broke things off a few months ago. So I guess I’m trying to say if you want to, you could come with me. I mean you totally dont have to and I mean-”

“To Colorado?” he quirked his eyebrow.

“I mean, yes? but only if you want to, I mean you’re my best friend, and closest one so I figured I’d ask before getting a refund,” she twisted her foot into the ground.

“Do I get a cowboy hat?”

She looked up surprised and laughed, “Duh”

“Then I’ll go”

The two weaved through the airport traffic. The building was loud and crowded and both were getting antsy. (Y/n) clutched her bag tight as they maneuvered through the crowds of people. Finally making it outside, the cold mountain air bit at their skin. A old man stood at the end of a row of cars holding a huge sign

‘(Y/N) (L/N)’ written in huge letters decorated the sign.

“Papa!” she cried and dropped her bags, getting swallowed into a hug that itself felt like home. Spencer stood awkwardly by watching the two.

“Where are my manners, My Name is Jim (L/N) but you can call me Papa. You must be Spencer?” The man, Jim introduced himself. He was only about 5′10″ and was clad in a red and white pearl snap with stained coveralls over top. His face was covered mostly by a long Beard and Mustache and he had a pair of glasses perched on top of his head.

“Oh, uh yes sir I’m Spencer,” He smiled at the man who held his hand out. Spencer shook it gladly.

“Well we need to get you kids home. Granny is making soup for dinner,” he bent down and picked up (Y/n)’s bag and rolled it to a old pick up truck, may be ten years old Spencer guessed. He stared at the backseat for a second, his stomach turned, maybe this wasn’t the best idea, maybe he shouldn’t have came, I mean I’m being so awkward an-

“Spence what are you waiting for?, hop in,” (Y/n) called from the back seat. He blinked a few times at her before jumping in and closing the door. She leaned over to him, “I didn’t want you to be alone back here,” she pulled back and smiled.

“Thank you,” he breathed a sigh of relief. As close as they were he had never met her family. He had spent countless nights sitting on her couch easting Chinese food while they finished files or watched bad movies but he still felt nervous being around her like this.

“So Spencer, where are you from?”

“I’m from Vegas,” he replied meekly.

“A gambler huh?” The old man grinned at him in the rear view, “you any good?”

Spencer laughed and shook his head, “I guess we’ll have to see,” he teased back. Jim laughed and smiled at his granddaughter.

“i like this one”

“You like him just because you’re bad at Texas Hold em” she playfully rolled her eyes.

“Hey whatever gets the money,” he laughed again. It was a laugh that filled you with joy. Spencer finally understood where (Y/n) got hers from.

“So Spencer, I know a feller like you can’t be single, so do you have a lady back in D.C.?”

“PAPA!” (Y/n) shrieked, “Don’t go running him off already, good god” she shook her head.

“What I’m curious, he’s a handsome man,” Jim grinned. Spencer was full on burning at this point.

“No sir, I’m single,” He almost mumbled out.

“You know who else is single. (Y/n),” Jim wiggled his eyebrows. (Y/n) glowed the same red that the poor man next to her did.

“Papa oh good god. Stick to breaking horses not my love life, and besides you’re gonna make him regret coming here before he even sees the ranch,” she rolled her eyes. Spencer actually laughed. The two of them were obviously close, it was . . . nice. It was a nice break from what they deal with every day.

The rest of the car ride went by semi fast, (Y/n) explained all of her plans for the two of them while they were here. She was almost glowing with excitement. The wooden fence that stretched along the property line came into view as the truck began up the drive. A gorgeous two story log cabin came into view behind a row of evergreens. The wood was a beautiful light brown, and towered over the yard. A old lady was standing on the porch dressed in a fleece nightgown and brown slippers. She waved as the truck stopped. The group jumped out and began grabbing bags.

“There’s my baby girl,” the woman hugged (Y/n) tightly. She had her same eyes. The woman stood maybe 5′2′ and had a pink and white fleeced nightgown on. Her grey hair fell in neat curls down her back. Her face was wrinkled and warm, the kind that you know showed so much joy in her younger years.

“And this must be Spencer, You’re even more handsome in person,” she cood at him.

“grandma!”

“It’s alright. Yes ma’am I’m Spencer,” he smiled at her, “It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” he grinned.

“Oh where are my manners, lets get you babies inside and warm,” she ushered everyone in. “(Y/n) baby your room is all set up, but um there’s been a change of plans,” The lady frowned.

“What Dawn is trying to say is that your mom and your stepdad are staying in the last guest room, and your cousin Rita is in the other”

“WHAT!” (Y/n) yelled. “Mom said her the Stepdouch were staying home for Christmas! I was promised to get you two to myself. And Rita!” she was fuming. Spencer set his hand on her shoulder, trying to bring her back to earth.

“We know baby but she insisted that you wouldn’t go see her if she stayed,”

“Of course not, not after what she did!”

“And Rita is your cousin, at least try to play nice,” Jim begged.

“No, Not after what they did!” (Y/n) was breathing ragged, anger radiating off of her body.

“Hey, uh why don’t you help me to my room?” Spencer forced her to look at him. She sighed and grabbed her bag.

“Okay” she grabbed his hand and began through the living room up the stairs. Spencer admired the “family” room on the balcony overlooking the living room. (Y/n) led him around the bend and over to the room. She popped the door open and let him inside. She followed and closed the door after her.

“So since my cousin Rita took the guest room we’ll have to share this one, I’m really sorry. I have an air mattress that I can sleep on and you can have the bed. This isn’t how I wanted this to go, I’m sorry,” she spoke almost in tears.

“Hey you didn’t know and I’m kicking you out of your bed, I’ll sleep on the air mattress, besides we can always still do everything you planned. We’ll be okay,” he smiled and held her face. She let a tear fall.

“I know but this was supposed to be a fun trip for you,”

“It will be, what’s more fun than two weeks without work,” he smiled and pushed her hair behind her ear.

“It’s only like one, so would you show me the property?” he smiled.

“Sure, but we need to get you a new wardrobe,” she laughed.

“Hey what’s wrong with my clothes?” he spun for her.

“Well for starters you’re in loafers and there’s snow on the ground, and second I do owe you a cowboy hat,” she grinned. “Come on lets play dress up”

The two of them sat in the attic surrounded by boxes of old clothes. She held up a nice quilt lined coat, identical to the light brown one she had on.

“That should fit, he was about your size,” she smiled and handed him the coat.

“Who?” he asked and examined the inside of the coat when it stared him right in the face.

‘Merry christmas daddy, (Y/n)’ stitched on the tag. his heart stopped.

“(Y/n) I can’t accept these, these meant the world to you I-”

“Spencer please, I’d rather you have daddy’s stuff than any of those other brats,” she sneered. “It’s the only other thing I got from him when he passed. He would’ve liked you,” she smiled and pulled a bunch of pearl snaps out. Spencer's heart leapt. We slid the Carhart on, it sat nicely against his body. She looked up from the boxes.

“Whoa” she gasped. “Spencer you look, just wow” she grinned.

“Wait I have one more thing,” she rushed off to the back of the attic. She returned with a box wrapped in red wrapping paper she smiled and handed it to him. He pulled the top of the box off. Inside sat a nice dark brown felt hat with a brown leather strap around it. It was adorned with a small gun charm on the leather strap.

“(Y/n) this is, this is way too much,” he looked up at her.

“I bought it for you last year, I remember you saying you wanted to be a cowboy so I figured I’d buy it but I forgot it last time so there,” she beamed at him.

“Well, try it on,” she ushered He set the hat on his head, a perfect fit.

“Well?” he spun

“You look like a true cowboy Spence,”

They walked the property talking for hours. The air grew cold and bit at their cheeks.

“Hey do you want to see my favorite spot?” she asked

“Of course,” he grinned. They walked out into the woods behind the house before coming to a clearing. The sun was beginning to set. The mountains had a purple haze but the sky was bright blue. Golden streaks danced across the clouds. The clearing was full of dry grass and thistles that would become tumbleweeds when it got windy.

“(Y/n) this is amazing,” he breathed the fresh mountain air.

“This is my favorite part of being home, the Rocky Mountain Skies. They seem to dance with color. I forget how pretty they are when I leave,” she smiled and watched the clouds float by.

“Why did you leave?” Spencer asked. He turned to look at the girl next to him. She looked small in her coat and her hair was messy from the light wind.

“After my dad died. My mom got with my Stepdouch a month later, the will had been “lost” the will that would have granted my this ranch. The only reason I got it was Papa and grandma claimed they needed a place to live so I mean it’s theirs. My mom got mad because she wanted to sell it. and my cousin Rita wanted all of my dads horses, thousands of dollars worth of horses that she and my mom fought over and split the money on. That wasn’t dads vision, they never cared about this place. Mom moved us into town, So when I turned 18 I left,” she shrugged.

“I’m so sorry (Y/n)” he hugged her.

“It’s okay. So why did you want to be a cowboy?” She teased.

“Well I mean every little boy wants to be a cowboy, I wanted to catch the outlaws, or maybe be them I’m not sure,” he laughed.

“(Y/N), SPENCER, DINNER!” Dawn yelled to them.

“Race you there” she smacked his chest and took off.

“No fair!” he called after her.

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #Criminal Minds

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professorsnape394 · 4 years ago

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The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Three: Steaming Sessions

A/N: This is the third part to my fanficiton ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-16 can be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 1726

Warnings: n/a

Credits to Gif Creator

As much as Severus hated to admit it, even to himself, thoughts of the young witch had persistently threatened to enter his mind the week following their initial meeting. Despite how badly Severus wanted to suppress his primal urges, he could not deny he had noticed her beauty. An attractive witch of her age was a rarity in his life, and so he allowed himself the simple pleasure of a thought or two regarding the new Professor. That was until he actually got to know her. She had taken it upon herself to interrupt his last few weeks of solitude before his life was disrupted by masses insolent children. The once somewhat pleasant thoughts of the woman had now been replaced by anger and agitation. He had in fact been preoccupied in thoughts of Aria Dumbledore upon her arrival to his office on Tuesday morning. He was enraged at her boldness to contradict him and any thoughts he ever had regarding her attractiveness had for sure been killed during their most recent meeting, or so he told himself.

The following day Miss Dumbledore delivered a list of potions she wished to revisit with Professor Snape in order to give him time to prepare for their next session. The temper she had awoken within him remained, as her comments still lingered in his mind. Never before had he met someone so audacious, and brave he hesitated to add, that they would so cunningly insult him in such an underhanded manner. The rage inside him motivated him to test his apprentice's abilities even further. Inspecting the list in front of him Severus Snape began to devise a plan.

"You should have learned by now, Miss Dumbledore, that I am very much a fan of saving time and working as efficiently as possible." Severus begun, warranting an exasperated eye-roll from his coworker as she thought back to the caterpillar scenario. Clearing his throat and shooting her a threatening look Snape continued his speech. "In order to further prove yourself I have arranged for us to complete several potions from your list simultaneously. "

"I'm sorry?" Aria asked, not fully comprehending how his set up could possibly help her grasp the correct brewing method for each individual potion, especially since they were ones she had admitted she was not completely familiar with.

"As you proved the other evening you are very capable of brewing a potion on your own, with my help you should have no problem perfecting say four? maybe five?" He shrugged slyly.

"Five!?" Aria gasped. "You do realise Professor Snape that the list of potions I gave you were those I am unfamiliar with. I wish to spend the time going over them with you, so when the time comes I will have no problem helping the students. I fear this method may not be ideal in allowing me to master those fine details."

"Well then, Miss Dumbledore, I fear you do not have what it takes to match the skills I require in an assistant."

"I want to make it clear, Professor Snape, that I am not your assistant. I am to be your apprentice. This means it is your duty to train me as such. I will do as you ask of me, but believe me I will not be pushed around and made a fool of for the whole of this year."

"Then I hope this means we understand each other Miss Dumbledore, for I will also not tolerate the back chat I received the other day when lessons finally commence."

"Then I suppose we both have to respect one another’s wishes." Aria stated finally, circling the desk of cauldrons. Beside each cauldron she found the list of instructions. Taking the time to read each one carefully, realising these potions will take a little longer than she anticipated. "These cannot be completed in a day?" She questioned.

"Clever girl, you noticed." Snape retorted sarcastically. "You see now why I could not dedicate one lesson to each potion. The potions have different brewing times and can all be left to rest over night, this gives you time memorise the instructions between lessons. We will complete them over the next three days, giving us both the weekend free."

Complying to his wishes Aria set about collecting her ingredients and began brewing each potion one after the other. It wasn't long before Aria noticed the Potions Master get comfortable behind his desk, burying his head in another one of his dusty old textbooks, she knew he would not be attempting to assist her any time soon.

The day was long and tedious. Neither Severus nor Aria felt the need to engage in any kind of conversation at the risk pissing the other off. Severus was clearly a lot more used to the silence and spent hours behind his desk reading, occasionally making small notes in the margins of his book. Aria on the other hand felt every slight noise she made was amplified a hundred times over, hesitant to make too much noise at the risk of Snape telling her off.

The room quickly became stuffy and humid from the constant steam emitting from all five cauldrons. The young Professor struggled to work in her tight, un-breathable clothing, she had previously thought was a wise choice for her sessions with Severus. The witch peeled her thick locks of hair from her perspiring face, pulling it up into quick messy bun. Struggling to breath from the fumes, Aria took a short break, sliding off her uncomfortable shoes, hiking her skirt up to her thighs, to air out her legs and unbuttoning her blouse exposing her chest. This did not go unnoticed by the older professor, as he stealthily watched her over the top of his book, absentmindedly turning a page ever second or two. Aria let out a throaty groan, fanning herself down with a nearby notebook.

“Aren’t you hot?.” She panted.

Severus felt his jaw almost drop in awe at the woman's movements as she rose from her chair, reaching up to the sky to stretch out her bones, her skirt shifted further up her thighs as she did so.

"Can't we open the door or something." She gasped the heat getting the better of her. Severus wriggled uncomfortably in his seat, unable to take his eyes off her body. Her eye catching his, Aria awkwardly attempted to cover herself up. Shocked at the Professor's boldness, she began to roll down her skirt covering back up her legs, her chest on the other hand remained bare.

"Professor." She spoke again, trying to catch his attention.

"Umm, very well. If you must." He flustered, clearing his throat, embarrassed he had been staring in the first place, let alone been caught out.

"You don't tend to be around women much, do you Severus?" Aria questioned, seeing no reason either of them should pretend she hadn't just caught him looking.

"Professor Snape." He once again stressed. "And I don't really think that's any of your concern, is it Miss Dumbledore."

"Forgive me. I was just trying to make a little conversation." Aria found herself rolling her eyes at the man once again. "The day has dragged in after all, it might go quicker if we talk?"

"I prefer to work in silence." He retorted, carefully ensuring his eyes did not leave the page of his book.

"I'm just saying." She pushed further, ignoring his statement. "I don't blame you. Being stuck in this school 10 months of the year cannot allow for much of a private life."

"No it does not." Severus agreed, his eyes burning into the page, not seeing a word that was written.

"Still." Aria continued, going back to brewing her potions. "It doesn't mean it's impossible. I'm sure there's plenty of women in Hogsmeade willing to date, bar maidens and what not." She shrugged.

"That may very well be true Miss Dumbledore, but I am not interested."

"Men then." She stated, raising one eyebrow playfully, although she knew very well he did not bat for the other team .

"Don't be absurd." The Professor scoffed.

"What about hobbies." She chose to change the subject, turning up the heat on potion number 3. "What do you do for fun?"

"Read." Snape replied bluntly, motioning to the book in front of him, turning the page though no information entered his brain from the last.

The pair continued to talk for the remainder of the day, although Severus provided nothing but blunt responses to his apprentices enquires, he had to admit, he was not completely opposed to her company. Soon it came time for the potions to be taken off their heat and left to rest for the night. It saddened Aria knowing she had to go back to her quarters, having no one to speak to until it came time for dinner with Hagrid, and though she hated to admit it their conversations on bowtruckles and grindylows had become rather tedious.

Pausing as she reached her exit, Aria turned back to her mentor, who didn't even look up from his desk. "Professor Snape." She spoke to get his attention. "Do you fancy joining us for dinner? Hagrid and I, that is. I usually bring food down from the kitchens, so you don't have to worry about his cooking." She laughed nervously.

"Spending my evening in his cramped hut, being drooled on by that beast of his and discussing the best way to distinguish knarls from hedgehogs? Sounds like the perfect evening." He commented sarcastically. "Goodnight, Miss Dumbledore."

Letting out a short breath Aria Dumbledore flashed one last smile at the Professor before taking her leave. "Goodnight, Professor Snape."

Taglist:

@ayamenimthiriel

#severus snape #severus snape imagine #severus x oc #severus snape one shot #Harry Potter #harry potter and the goblet of fire #harry potter fanfiction #severus snape fanfiction #alan rickman #severus x reader #severus x y/n #potions master #potions masters apprentice #dumbledores granddaughter #dumbledore #severus snape fluff #severus snape smut

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taglegend · 4 years ago

Photo

Tag Fact #3 - I’ve come to realize I’ve always been a fan artist more than I thought. so here is a timeline of influences that shaped my childhood to now. from nostalgic times, to sad changes, to great loss, to strange rises to fame and phases, to stepping stones and finally a laughing place. all the things that make up your favorite fan artist Tag.

1. Rayman (bumped into this in the year of 1999) was actually the first fandom (with crossovers) I bumped into when I was 9. although the internet wasn’t available at the time it was still fun to dwell in home amusements. I remember the storylines and the OC’s I made but they’re kind of embarrassing and it’s probably a good thing there was no internet. I’ve done fanart and comic crossovers of Rayman with Calvin and Hobbs and Nights Into Dreams, spinoffs of Sonic the Hedgehog OC’s, Yoshi with Pikachu, and the Pokemon/Digimon craze with OC’s and other Nintendo comic shorts. but the drawings and comics are long gone and disappeared in the garage in a backpack due to suspecting my sister’s dad accidentally throwing them away. years later towards the year 2018 (now 28), we decided to move to North Carolina and it was my chance to find them again. unfortunately the backpack was gone just like I suspected (my main stuff), but for some reason I found my Pokemon/Digimon fanart, a good batch of Super Mario drawings (vaguely remember doing these), my sister’s drawings and some other neighborhood kids’ drawings in a dirty box. I was partially happy I found something at least but it was the backpack I wanted the most. sometimes I regret not looking for the backpack (’cause I was too busy being a kid) but it’s alright, noone needs to see that shit anyway, ha ha. anyways, I recall being a fan of Rayman from 1999 ‘til 2002.

2. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (bumped into this in the year of 2003) my second fandom I bumped into when I was 12 going on 13. at the time, my sister and I both liked the Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise based on the Battle remake and ended up making our own secret fanart club that consisted of only us two members. she liked Sonic (and that was her boyfriend, ha ha) and I liked Knuckles (and he was my boyfriend, ha ha) and we were crazy in love about Shadow’s backstory. we listened to the game’s soundtracks as we drew fanart and comics after school and man, those were good times. however, as we grew older towards the year of 2005, we ended up having separate rooms and I believe it played a part in disconnecting on the same interest. then one day, I asked her why she wasn’t into Sonic anymore and she replied, “Because I grew up.” I was sad after that and slowly observed that she was influenced by the emo culture and the new friends she’s made. I was the only member of our little club for a little longer...but eventually I moved on too. I still have some surviving fanart we did together but it doesn’t mean shit anymore since she turned out to be an abusive mother from the last I’ve heard of her.

3. Gorillaz (bumped into this in the year of 2006). as the Sonic years were at its end, I first heard the song “Feel Good Inc” on Music Choice and seeing the first image of them as displayed on this post (except the fan-made background doesn’t count since I can’t find the original artwork). this was my third fandom and later had proper access to the internet to the website I still currently use called DeviantArt. at first I liked 2D but eventually fell for Murdoc and developed a spiritual connection towards the character as obviously seen in my old fanart and rare photos of my devotion shrines on Valentine’s Day and his birthday every year. for the longest time since being a permanent fan from 2006-2017 (11 1/2 years) I had no knowledge that it was a political propaganda band and other realizations I don’t want to talk about. I only followed them because it was a cartoon and not the bullshit behind the musical project. the world I’ve built and support for them for all those 11 1/2 years shattered the fuck out of me and I just wanted to be left alone to find myself again, somehow. activity stopped on all my profiles, the flow of fanart stopped since I now cringe from the fan service and felt I was used for my talent. I didn’t want to be reminded of it all so I took down all my Gorillaz fanart and archived them for old followers’ nostalgia but also in the hopes they’ll be forgotten in my timeline. I ceased to exist in the fandom for huge personal reasons but it’s best to not say why. I know for sure that the fandom wonders what happened but it’s none of their business. THE END.

4. Waluigi (although I knew he’s been around since 2000 during childhood, I took deep interest once I revisited the character again in the year of December 2013). as silly as this sounds, when I revisited him again, the character was so bizarre that I ended up staying up 3 nights and 3 days in a row just looking all over the internet on everything about him and the questionable “hush-hush” absence of a backstory. despite there being no backstory he slowly gained a cult following and in many ways it’s a good thing. however, since the early 2010′s tension has been building up between Nintendo and its fans about him starring in a main game but everyone hasn’t fully gotten it in their heads that it’s not gonna happen. as long as Nintendo is in control of that, the fandom will not win, I’m sorry to say. on the other hand, if it’s going to be this way, then that’s what fanart and comic projects are for. as for me, I am doing my very best to get my comic project “Waluigi Land” going. again, I apologize if it’s taking very long to get Chapter 2 going if you’ve been keeping track but aha moments need to develop before I start permanent drawing (since concepts, character design and storyline needed improvement badly). as of right now I am still a Waluigi fan and I will not quit on him.

5. Turbo from Wreck-It-Ralph (although it debuted in 2012, I watched the movie two years later into the year 2014). for some bizarro reason, I had an unhealthy obsession with this character to the point where I dressed up as him for Halloween 2014. only 2 fanarts of him and the Turbo Twins exist on my profiles, mainly because my mind was more focused on just ‘thinking about him’ or ‘being him’ rather than drawing physical drawings. luckily, this supposed alleged fandom didn’t last long a little after Halloween so I chalk it up as a very short phase. to this day I don’t know what has gotten over me about him. the only thing I can think of now is that I think it’s because the character had yellow eyes and teeth but I don’t know. now that I think of it, that little fucker was ugly as hell and I STILL don’t know what had gotten over me. one day, my brother mentioned what that was about, and I said to him, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

6. Undertale (although it debuted in 2015, I later took interest in it in 2016). It was all about Sans and Papyrus. I couldn’t get enough of the skeleton bros. eventually Toriel and Mettaton EX became my favorites but it took a long time to draw more of all 4 of them because I had other important things to do in my life plus I was still waiting for the next Gorillaz album to revive my imaginative juices (or so I thought). I really want to have this as one of my frequent fandoms but I just don’t have time for it anymore. it’s still in the back of my head to want to draw them but at this point I still have other better interests to be in. and besides, I’m lazy just like Sans.

7. Cuphead (June 28th, 2017 was the official day I called quits on the British-based band Gorillaz due to the bullshit behind it. since that date I was lost, had no inspiration to look forward to and no cartoon guy to make me smile...but lo and behold of the same year, I took an interest in playing the game Cuphead and man...that shit was a frightening exaggerated metaphor for being on that one drug (forgot the name though) and having sex at the same time but man that was the best fun I’ve had in years. I mean, it’s like, enemies are just so happy to murder you and that scared the shit outta me. and the facial exaggeration?....I think I should stop, ha ha. anyways, the Moldenhauers saved my ass from spiraling down, they have no clue. anyways, eventually I became a permanent fan of their work so to ease the hurt and erase my past from the G-fandom I had to re-wire my brain into a different cartoon category that’s a rather more American, so anything Toon related like Roger Rabbit, Felix the Cat or another favorite that’s a western-based cartoon makes me feel better, especially my new man .......King Dice <3 <3<3<3. however, there was something about this new fandom category I still didn’t quite understand until the date March 14th, 2020. I finally understood what it was but I feel I shouldn’t bring it up. anyways, Cuphead and anything western or rubber hose is my last stop in inspiration for the remaining years of my life. many say never say never but I believe I’ve found my laughing place and that’s all that matters.

#tag facts #influences from cartoons #likes and dislikes #thoughts i have about characters #toons #rayman #sonic the hedgehog #gorillaz #waluigi #turbo #wreck it ralph #undertale #cuphead

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retphienix · 4 years ago

Text

It's been 6 years :)

On March 30th, 2015 I decided I wanted a gaming side blog. (so we're early, but shush, it's the month for me)

I didn't know what I'd use it for exactly, but I had ideas- something I always have even if most of them only get as far as daydreamin' or writing out before closing them :P

For proof on the lack of direction the blog initially had- the March 30th date is the anniversary of my first post, an in-depth and lengthy review of Dragon Warrior Monsters for the GBC.

If you know the blog then you know "Extremely long and in-depth reviews" aren't the norm around here. As a matter of fact, that first post is the ONLY one I've done!

The closest I've come to ever repeating that would be the (word of the day) Directionless video I put out on Hades to get a grip on the concept of making videos, but that wasn't nearly as much of a 'review' as that first post is.

Tangent, definitely planning on trying my hand at videos some more for the foreseeable future. Probably not gonna use the tagline Full Impressions that I tossed as a whim for the Hades video but yeah- I'm excited to try my hand at a few videos :) tangent over.

It didn't take me long to come up with what I'd like to do for the blog though :)

A few months later I liveblogged a challenge run of FFT where I used only Ramza- a solo run. - Which maybe only happened because I tried a nuzlocke run a year prior on my main account-

(Nuzlocke | FFT challenge run)

Thanks to that haphazard liveblog experiment I started to realize a couple things which became the primary motivators behind this blog.

1) I LOVE sharing experiences. No brainer, I'm sure, but being able to share my experiences, and compare them with others' experiences, and just that mutual sharing is uplifting and feels good to do.

2) Liveblogging is an EXCEPTIONAL motivator to buckle down and play all those games I said I'd play (cue everyone laughing because I'm still way behind and have an immeasurable backlog).

But I mean that, on both respects. I have plenty of motivators toward the blog today, but if I were to be concise it's pretty much "It's easier to beat games if I liveblog them- otherwise I get distracted and play other games" and "I love sharing experiences and thoughts with people about my favorite thing- games."

Since 2015 I've tackled around 70 games as full playthroughs, and an untold ton as one offs or just to ramble about for a bit.

I've had a lot of highlights over the years, and I don't talk much about it as an overall experience so I thought for the anniversary I'd try to do just that. Not everything- I can't say I have photographic memory that would bring all of it up without prompting after all :P But whatever comes to mind as I browse some of my old stuff- as well as some thoughts on what I'd like to see in the future.

It's gonna be a bit self-centric I assume as I type this preamble to it, so let me say outright that this blog wouldn't be half of what it is without all the people who've given it the time of day over the years.

From recommending games they love or appreciate, to comparing thoughts, to offering kind words for analysis I've done over the years, to pointing out when I'm dumb and misread a situation :P- to, yes, even the people who decided "Fuck this guy's ramble" and deleted my captions before reblogging my gifs way back during Hamtaro (Of COURSE I remember that! It's amusing lol).

This is better because of others, because of the interactions and the people I've gotten the chance to chat with or befriend. It's just a liveblog more or less, my own little bit of fun I toss out for myself if for anyone- so seeing others enjoy this or that from the work I put into sharing my experiences or thoughts is always a joy in itself :)

Anyway, onto selfishly rambling about some tidbits of the past :)

Also sorry but no, opted to not shove a ton of photos in, it does have a handful of links to old posts though :P

This'll be disorganized as heck as I'll add to it over time before I feel it's worth posting (or the tumblr post editor becomes a hassle and more or less forces me to).

First~

FFT Solo Ramza Challenge: Considering it was roughly the first thing this blog has done, it's also something that's stuck in my head a lot more clearly than most of the other stuff I've done to be honest lol.

In truth, this is partially because FFT is my favorite game, bar none. But it's also because the whole experience was pretty new to me. Prior to it I had really only done one self-imposed-challenge that wasn't requested by the game in some manner and that was a nuzlocke run of Blue version.

So adding a challenge to my favorite game was a fantastic experience!

Notes I just wanted to say today about that run: If anyone enjoys FFT I honestly recommend giving it a shot for the unique story it lends itself to. I do recommend skipping the rules until after the second battle but that's up to YOU to decide.

My first post on the subject is me complaining about spending 4 hours grinding out the second fight and, despite hyperbole being my natural state, that was NOT hyperbole.

It DID take 60~ restarts to beat. It DID take 4 hours. The reason is that that 2nd battle is RNG as HECK, you HAVE to have Delita do some meaningful actions, you HAVE to have the enemies miss and make poor plays, you damn near HAVE to crit a few instances to save yourself from taking too much damage.

It's a numbers game to the extreme, so I wouldn't fault anyone for 'cheating' and skipping the 2nd fight for the ruleset lol.

The memory that stands out the most for that run is actually isolated in a post in which Ramza (Purrick in this run) talks like a total badass as just ONE DUDE running into a room full of enemies. I just think on that as a great encapsulated view of what it was like. The run started off face grindingly difficult, but because FFT is a game that offers so much freedom to the player it was extremely easy to 'break' the game into making Purrick overpowered as hell.

That's something I love about some tactical RPGs, I love having the ability to play smart so that I can play stupid later on, and breaking the game into making him one shot god is certainly a good payoff for playing smart early on :P

RetQuick: I miss RetQuick, it was primarily a short experiment I did in 2015 where I'd play a game for a short span of time (REALLY short, like 10-20 minutes) and record that for the purpose of making gifs and saying a short piece on what I thought.

It's one of those formats where the purpose was pretty shallow- but had a reason. I wanted to try making some gifs with some tools that existed online, so I made an excuse to do just that.

I also wanted to play a TON of games, usually through emulation on my sister's PSP, and this let me do that.

These two minor goals came together and so I spent a while making RetQuicks which were honestly more fun to make than they had any right to be. I mean the gifs were tedious but the playing? The thought sharing? The end product ocassionally having more appeal than just a photoset? It was fun.

I'm thinking whenever I have trouble picking a game for the blog I'll revisit the format... sorta.

I already reused it for a short stint to show clips I had no plan on expanding into a playthrough, but that died as well as it was too similar to Tidbits posts (another tag I no longer really use).

My thought is to rebrand retquick as something of a tryout for what game comes next. Play a handful of my backlog games for an hour or so each and say some thoughts before saying which one I'll continue as the main game for that period of time.

Old Tag Stuff: One of those things that only sticks to me since I made the decisions but it's always funny for me to look back on my old posts because I was apprehensive as hell toward making my posts visible. The reason my early playthroughs on the My-Tags page are variants of Ret instead of just "The name of the game so people can find this post" is because I felt like a liveblog would just spam the tag to hell-

Something I don't remotely feel bad for doing anymore.

So I avoided getting any sort of spotlight for quite a while on the blog for little reason.

Why Retphienix?: This is just a dumb thought I wanted to share and I'm sure I've said before.

It stands for retro!

Yeah!

Ain't that dumb and also not a real shorthand? lol

I think I have some sort of deer in headlights anxiety towards naming things, I mean do you think I think Full Impressions is a good summation for a video? I don't. But perhaps that's overshadowed by the other inexperiences and anxiety driven decisions that had- doesn't matter.

Retphienix is Retphienix because I sat there in 2015 and thought "Well... what do I name an alt account?"

My main is Redphienix, which yes, is ALSO a terrible name AND is misspelled. But it's that because of sentimental reasons. As a kid I misspelled Redphoenix when making my gamertag (I knew how to spell Phoenix back then as well, I was too excited about xbox live and misspelled it) and it's become something of a sentimental misspelling.

So I wanted to make a mix on that for my game blog, but I had no idea what. In the end I thought "RetroPhienix? I don't know. Retphienix is closer to Redphienix. I'll do that" and so it was done.

And just like how Redphienix is both bad and misspelled but exists because of sentimental reasons- Retphienix has acquired the same 'flavor' in my eye lol.

Aspirations for the blog: I have no immediate ramp up plans or road map or whatever, and in truth I'll be happy if the blog stays just as it is forever- up until tumblr ends- I cry over lost posts- and I reopen it on another platform.

But I do have blurry half-considered daydreams that I'd like to see happen for the blog through some hard work or shifts on my part.

One is something I'm already doing kinda, hence my embarrassing means of bringing it up a lot lately. Videos- I want those. I wanna make some looks back on series people don't talk about that I enjoy, I want to make videos sharing my thoughts on games I beat for the blog (like what full impressions kinda was, but I don't think they'll have a unified name from here on out). Maybe retrospectives, but mostly when I think of making a video tied to retphienix or me in general it's me looking at a game that said something to me, and saying it louder with my own interpretations on it.

You know the kind, videos where they talk about a video game but not the whole thing- just a singular message they really heard loud and clear from it intentionally or not. I dig those and I know I end a lot of games having plenty to say that could be directed into such a format.

We'll see.

And I'm along for the ride on that one as well- currently I'm keeping my eyes on whatever is directly next, which happens to be "I plan on playing Omori, if it clicks as something to talk about I would like to take a shot at that in a video too!"

The other is that I'd like to build a small community. Wouldn't know the first thing on doing that in a modern sense, but just a little online friend group to chat with and play games together. Something that could open up multiplayer and coop experiences being better shared on the blog and would just in general expand my gaming to what it used to be back on the 360 when I had a large group to play with.

Since the 360 era ended I've pretty much closed off- stopped playing competitive games due to lack of interest- and slowed down to playing all games either solo, with randoms (and no mic usually), or with my cousin. It's a rare instance when I play with some good people like @gamesception or another friend of mine, John.

When I diverted from playing competitive games nonstop toward other genres I didn't intend to also cut out all my online gaming buds, it just kinda happened, and I never really put any effort into rectifying that.

So more or less I'd like to one day sit down and work on a discord server, and then buck up and put the leg work in to make some gamin' buds again, but that's such a vague concept anymore.

Sounds all sad and what not but it's more ambivalent, I made decisions that

changed how gaming worked for me after the 360 and this is just where it landed for better and worse- I'd just like to see if I can make it a little better :P

General things I think when I think retphienix: Honestly? I think of how much fun I've had over the years and how thankful I am to have had an outlet that encouraged me to explore more of the medium.

I REALLY love games. I went to college for games, I've written LEAGUES about games, I've played countless games, my childhood was games, my adult life is games- games games games yada yada yada.

So when I think of retphienix I think of how without it I probably wouldn't have explored a lot of the corners of gaming that I have.

I genuinely, and I mean this, might not have sat down and beaten FF7 for myself and would have considered the amount I played as a kid to be enough.

I might not have played Chrono Trigger yet, and I KNOW I wouldn't have played Chrono Cross, and I'm happy as hell to have played both of those. CT was a mind blowing moment for me that showed me just how good an RPG can be, and CC gave me miles to think of in terms of innovating an RPG and how beholden to the narrative a sequel should be (I don't feel CC should have been chrono at all lol).

I DEFINITELY wouldn't have given New Vegas another chance. And I know I'm a sourpuss on NV, I've been that way since I maxed my achievements on the 360 for it, but replaying it really did reveal to me how exceedingly negative I was being.

My memories had become "It's brown and a boring location >:(" and "The factions all suck and it doesn't do anything with the idea of bad factions >:(" and became "It's... a little brown guys, not a big fan of the area" and "They didn't do enough with exploring the gray factions" while adding "Wait. This is pretty damn fun. And 90% of the additions are stellar. And I forgot about Dead Money, my favorite dlc in any game ever with a story that tears at my heart every time I think of it, NV good actually?"

Faxanadu would have remained a cool game I saw on SSFF and not a game I played to the end and fell in love with the aesthetic feel it has!

Also that's a game I cheated like crazy on lol, I would do it again! Save state scumming games meant to be rudely difficult is only fair :P

I probably would have never sat down to play through Windwaker which was such a positive and uplifting experience that I now get the most relaxed and warm feeling in my heart when I see those blue waves.

There's so many experiences I would have left on the table in favor of like... putting more hours into a live service title or something.

Maybe, and no offense to my cousin or anyone else playing it, but maybe I'd be no-lifing World of Warcraft nonstop just stagnating my interest toward the skinner box mechanics of an MMO?

Some offense, actually but lightheartedly lol.

But beyond the entire games I've played for the blog, when I think retphienix I picture all the time making gifs, all those games I played on the PSP for short stints, buying a retron 5 to add to what I could explore and being stoked when they shipped a freebie box of old controllers to go with it, getting angry at the retron for being a Piece Of Shit lol, crying at the end of damn near every game with an emotional story because I'm a big emotional mess of a person who finds investing and crying at a story way too easy thanks to empathy pulls, oh!-

Getting excited whenever I found that I had a "*controversial*" opinion that no one would care about lol. Like the one that comes to mind is that I thoroughly believe that Dragon Ball Z II: Gekishin Freeza!! for the NES is WAY better than the fandom recognized and appreciated sequel/remake Dragon Ball Z: Legend of the Super Saiyan!

How many people do you hear talking about either game, let alone saying the NES game that is roughly half of the SNES remake is the better one :P But I stand by that! The SNES one is a remake of DBZ1 and 2 for the NES but it loses all the charm and some of the fun of the NES ones by being a lackluster SNES game!

lol

I admitted wholeheartedly that this post would be a lit-

little directionless (gotta love the new tumblr poster making me break sentences like that), but to sum things up.

It's been 6 years. It's been an untold amount of work to be honest- liveblogging a game, at least for me, hasn't been the easiest thing. It's a lot of thinking out my thoughts (heh), it's a lot of learning tools to make the capturing process possible, it's a lot of experimenting, it's a lot of writing and editing, and, well, sometimes it's just tough.

I mean I went to school for coding, not video editing, not writing, not image processing, not this or that- but this hobby has introduced a lot of things even if only at a VERY base level (I admit fully to using online alternatives to make gifs for instance).

I learned a lot about, well, a lot of things in order to use this blog to learn more about games- and all that work has become part of why I've loved all 6 years of this blog.

6 years of gaming, work, and you all- and it's been worth the investment :) Here's to many more and all of you whether you stumble upon this post or not- literally anyone who's interacted in these 6 years, thank you, and anyone who hasn't I offer you well wishes as well.

#Retphienix #gaming #video games #gaming liveblog

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themangoyogurt · 4 years ago

Text

Between 29th and Astoria: The Appetizer

Chapter 5

It was always the same story after a night of hard drinking - waking up with regret, plotting your own death, and revisiting misdemeanors committed under the influence of alcohol. To make matters worse, you had fallen asleep on the commute resulting in missing your stop. By the time you went above ground, back down on the other side, and hopped on the right train - you were hopelessly late.

Not only that, but you had been drunk enough to make stupid life decisions such as feel up your freaking boss, but not blitzed enough to have forgotten what had happened. You stepped off the executive elevator and onto the forty-fifth floor completely ready to die of embarrassment.

Only, you didn’t.

Ren’s door was closed, but you heard gentle murmuring behind the glass. His morning conference call must have begun earlier than scheduled. At least that took care of any awkward A.M. confrontations. If you had any doubts that your job was on the line though, they were immediately cleared as you stepped up to your little glass fortress.

Sitting neatly in the center right between your monitor and keyboard was a cup of coffee. A sticky note was stuck to the sleeve with two sentences scrawled in surprisingly beautiful penmanship.

“May I suggest a different addictive substance? Perhaps one that won’t kill you?”

The smell of hazelnut and spice wafted up from the lid, enveloping the area with a warm scent. The caramel liquid inside was still hot, and burned deliciously as it was consumed. Seeing that he bought you coffee, perhaps Kylo’s hypocrisy regarding smoking could be ignored. For now at least. You reclined into the leather seat underneath and began your typical morning rituals.

The computer fired on with a half-hearted beep. Next, physical memos were sorted as the screen slowly loaded. Some papers were shuffled into the trash. Others were filed away for later use, and a select few were organized into a folder to hand off to Mr. Ren. As soon as the monitor pinged to life, e-mails were next on the list. Similar to the memos, you organized and sorted the digital mail. Once in a while, you’d be interrupted by a phone call.

Most of the time it was a frantic Mitaka in search of one thing or another for Hux. The poor man was clearly stretched far too thin, and you always spent the latter half of your conversations giving the assistant a pep talk. By the time everything was catalogued and dealt with, it was usually lunch. That was almost always taken alone at your desk. First Order certainly didn’t encourage friendships, that much was for sure. If you were lucky and Mr. Ren had an outside appointment during the hour, you were able to eat elsewhere. Even then it wasn’t very exciting. You’d usually just grab a sorry excuse for a salad from Hale & Hearty, and eat it in the break room.

Today was different though. Twelve o’ clock struck, and Mr. Ren emerged from his office. Dark hair coiffed backwards, he slowly ambled towards your desk. Your name slid from his lips like oil and you looked up in surprise.

“Mr. Ren! I thought you had a lunch appointment today.”

He tapped his fingers along the smooth surface of your desk and nodded. Reaching over, he plucked your purse hanging from the back of the chair. Smiling, the man responded, “Yes, I do. You’re my appointment.”

You mouth slackened in surprise, and Kylo smirked at your reaction, filing away the image along with others he had collected over time. Twirling the leather strap of your bag in one hand, he turned on his heel and marched over to the elevator. You immediately jumped up from your chair and hurried a step behind the man.

He brought you to a swanky restaurant somewhere uptown. Just like at the club last night, you felt incredibly out of place. It was the type of establishment you’d only read about in magazines alongside the words “so-and-so celebrity spotted at”. It certainly wasn’t the kind of venue a failed photographer turned personal assistant ate at. And it definitely wasn’t the kind of place a boss should be taking his assistant just for kicks.

Regardless, Kylo still placed a warm palm on your lower back and ushered you through the large doors and into a marble waiting area. The hostess immediately recognized the raven-haired CEO and lead the way to a private dining area secluded in the back.

The lithe blonde’s eyes darted between the two of you and then to Kylo’s hands before asking, “Mr. Ren, would you like me to check your - uh - friend’s bag?”

Oh my God. Kylo Ren was still holding your purse.

Your face colored in embarrassment as you thought about how this woman probably checked Birkins worth six figures. Your little flea market find of cracked leather definitely had no business being checked anywhere. Panicking, you snatched the purse away from your boss and awkwardly tittered that you’d be fine holding onto the handbag.

Did the woman just give you a look of sympathy?

If she kept up that attitude, you’d give her something to be sympathetic about. Your eyes squinted ever so slightly, and Ren let out a snort. He waved the hostess away and pulled out your chair before settling in across the table.

“If you’re ashamed of your purse, you could always buy a new one.”

“Excuse me?! Just because I don’t enjoy being judged, doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of my purse! And what do you expect me to do? Go out and buy a Chanel with the zero dollars in my savings account?”

Kylo’s head tilted backwards as he chuckled, “You looked ready to choke the hostess with your mind.”

“My purse has character. Something she wouldn’t understand,” you pouted.

“Yes. I’m just finding out about how much character you possess.”

Heat spread across your cheeks and your face bloomed pink at your boss’s teasing. Fiddling with the hem of the tablecloth you whispered, “I’m so sorry about last night, Mr. Ren.” He dismissed your apology with a wave of his hand and chortled, “I’ve seen Phasma do worse on a better night. Don’t worry about it.” He slowly drank in the sight of your flushed skin and the way your lashes shyly fluttered at his words. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.

Thankfully the waiter arrived, and provided some relief as he went over the tasting menu. Who on earth ate five courses at twelve thirty in the afternoon?

Apparently, Kylo Ren did. The man didn’t even flinch as the waiter rattled off various dishes and accompaniments. You blushed again as Mr. Ren ordered a whiskey neat for himself and a gin and tonic for yourself. He ignored your protests that it was too early to drink, and opted to lean back and watch your fruitless objections with mirth.

“Are you done?”

Your ears turned red, and Kylo grinned with his full set of teeth. He was beginning to discover a new hobby - making his assistant blush. Once again, the waiter came to the rescue as he set down a white oval porcelain dish with two oysters perched atop a hill of ice with caviar scattered about. Ren expertly fed himself the appetizer and watched you struggle in amusement. Compared to Ren’s effortless elegance, you looked like a pelican choking down sardines.

He quietly placed a palm on the table and asked, “So, tell me about yourself. What do you do after work?”

An eyebrow raised on its own as you studied Mr. Ren with some suspicion. Just a few days ago, this man was one missed memo away from flipping over your desk and booting you out the door. Now he wanted to know what you did for fun? As if sensing your apprehension, Kylo teased, “Isn’t this what friends do? Get to know each other?”

The memory of Kylo’s massive hands gripping your slight wrists was enough to make you gag on your drink. Were gin and tonics always this difficult to stomach?

Clearing your throat and wiping the edges of your lips, you replied, “Well. Honestly, I go to work so early and stay so late...there isn’t really much time for me to do anything. My friends are pretty understanding though, so we spend most of our time at my apartment or theirs. We - uh - you know, talk. Sometimes we play board games or just watch Netflix. We do other things together, too.”

Kylo arched a brow and joked, “You do ‘other things’ with your friends? How conveniently vague.”

Coughing again, you sputtered, “No! No. I mean, we’re all single, but we don’t - you know - do weird things. Uhm, Rose is a mechanic and she works on these crazy fancy private planes that come in and out of the city. Sometimes her clients invite her to cool things, and I’ll get to tag along. Poe has a really sweet job, and he’ll hook us up with tickets to events, too. And, uhm, Finn also works at Poe’s company, but only part time. But he’s trying really hard to be an actor and he just wrapped up a really great show. We’ll go see him in different performances, and it’s really fun!”

Kylo ran his bottom lip along the edge of his glass as he took in your response. The name “Poe” sounded oddly familiar to him. It was a rather archaic sounding name that not many in your age group had. He’d have to look into that later, rather preferring to settle on one key fact he was surprisingly happy to learn - you were single.

“What about you, Mr. Ren? Do you have any hobbies? Or - uhm - date?”

You were going to be the death of him. If he could die via cuteness, he would choose you every time. He watched your throat bob as you swallowed, almost as if you wished you could push the words back down. He thought for a moment: no, what he did with the fairer sex certainly wouldn’t be considered dating. As for hobbies?

“Sure. I enjoy calligraphy. It’s a nice marriage of art and the written form. I also like taking my cars out to the speedway from time-to-time. As for dating? No. I wouldn’t say I have the time to date...per se.”

You nodded along, thinking the entire time that Mr. Ren sounded lightyears above you. Of course someone like him wouldn’t play fucking Cranium in his free time. You continued to eat and chat until the meal wrapped up. Kylo was even suave enough to take care of the check while he got up to use the restroom, saving you the embarrassment of having to act like you could even afford to split the $700 bill.

Walking out the door, you stopped to turn to the man. Rocking a bit on your heels, you meekly murmured, “Thank you, Mr. Ren...”

“What was that, little mouse? I didn’t quite catch that.” A quirk of his lip indicated that he was teasing you again.

Clearing your throat, you spoke up, “Thank you, Mr. Ren. For the meal. And the conversation. I - uh - quite enjoyed spending time with you.”

He gave you a warm smile. The most genuine one you have yet to witness. He carefully patted your back - high enough to be professional, but low enough to leave you confused.

Looking up into the sky, he replied, “I’m glad. Perhaps we could making spending time together a habit.”

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren #reader insert #modern au #B29&A

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starker-stories · 5 years ago

Text

My Virgin (Revisited), Chapter 3 - The Messages Series

This chapter on AO3

By @thestarkerisobvious and @starker-stories

All links are to AO3. As everyone knows by now, starker-stories blew up his starkerstories blog, losing everything that was below a readmore on tumblr-full-text posts. So the safest place for fic is AO3. You don’t need to be a creator to have an AO3 account. You can have one solely as a reader. But to read anything at all in this series, you can just be an anonymous reader and/or commenter.

The entire Messages Series. All links are to AO3.

Messages Unsent (complete & posted)

Nothing More Than A Machine (complete & posted)

Tomorrow (complete & posted)

My Virgin (Revisited) (complete & posted)

The Cold (completely written) posts every Thursday

Untitled Book 6 ( in progress )

Untitled Book 7 ( in progress )

Tags: Sexual Roleplay, Virginity Kink, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Kissing, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, A teeny weeny bit of plot for the next book hinted at, Happy Ending, Happy Sex

Chapter 3: ButfortherecordIamnotavirgin

Tony circled one arm around Peter’s waist, holding him steady as he slid the zipper of his jeans down. He cupped Peter’s ass and lifted him slightly. “Hold with your arms, Pete. Like when I carried you here.” Peter held his neck firmly, Tony cupped the boy’s ass and his hands worked up to the waistband of his jeans and his underwear. He slid his hands between fabric and skin. As his hands moved lower, to cup Peter’s ass again, they took his clothes with them, revealing more as Tony’s hands moved all the way down to the top of his thighs.

“Lift higher, baby,” Tony whispered against Peter’s neck. When he raised himself, Tony pushed Peter’s jeans down in the front. He settled his hand low on Peter’s stomach. Pulling his lips away from the warmth of Peter’s neck, he looked at the boy and smiled. “Gotta help me from here. You’re the graceful one with the long beautiful legs.”

Oh god, this was incredible. And having an unexpected effect — slow and gentle meant Peter’s senses were dialing up (when the sex was hard and fast always dialed them down, out of self-preservation.) It hadn’t happened very often since their earliest days together, but Christ it was happening now.

And that might not be a good thing. Pushing Tony away a bit helped. At least a little. Feigning the need for distance to get himself undressed, he wriggled his body free enough to shed belt, jeans and boxers all in one motion. Not quickly, though, he needed time to breathe, trying to ground himself a little. Turning his back a bit to Tony he tried to regain a little composure.

“So, for the record? Not a virgin. I’ve done it to other guys before. Just not… and I am not saying that I was holding out for you!” Peter argued. “Because that would have been too optimistic, too far-fetched. I never really thought that we would… so I wasn’t really holding out for… except…”

He turned his head to look at Tony in surprise.

“Except I think I was.”

He had to let go of his pants suddenly because he had to hide behind his hands again. He was grimacing and blushing and grinning at the absurdity of it all at the same time.

“I think I was,” he whispered as quietly as he could. Maybe, if he whispered, his pride wouldn’t hear it. He reached for Tony and wrapped his arms around his neck.

“I think I was saving it for you.

“ButfortherecordIamnotavirgin,” he said quickly as he lay on his back. One last, final salute to his injured pride.

Tony looked at Peter, watching him catch his breath, listening to his protests of his non-virginity.

“You‘re not a virgin.” Tony struggled to keep his lips from quirking up. "You’ve just never ‘done that one thing’. And it’s all my ego thinking that you’re a virgin, despite the fact that you very much are. Toys don’t count. Giving head doesn’t count either. Nor does fucking another boy. Because this…” Tony let one hand slide down Peter’s side until he was caressing the inside of his thigh, moving up to the crease of his ass. Going no further. “…isn’t something you’re in control of. No, I don’t mean that I’m in control, either. Your body is in control. And the rest of you? Not having that control? Baby, this is an entirely different thing than any of those other things you’ve done to proclaim your non-virginity.

“You had no idea who you were holding out for to do ‘that one thing’. You never thought. But you did think. You knew. You always knew exactly who you were holding out for. You knew exactly who you wanted to be the ‘first’. And only. Because you’ve known me long enough to know that I would never share you. But you held out even knowing that. My virgin. Because that’s what I’ve been calling you in my head.”

Peter’s eyes went wide.

“…oh…” he said, breathless.

“That’s… that’s different. You could call me your… yes.” He closed his eyes again. He would never say it out loud, of course. Coming from his own mouth it sounded wrong. But coming out of Tony’s mouth? It sounded incredible.

He grinned from ear to ear. Even with his eyes closed, he wanted to duck his head.

“All right then,” he said wrapping his hands around Tony’s neck. He tried to take a steadying breath, failed, and tried again. The third time it worked and, when he felt calmer, he leaned up to whisper in his lover’s ear. “If I am your… your virgin… what are you going to do with me?”

Tony’s hum of assent to Peter’s calling himself his virgin had more than a little self-satisfied smugness about it. Oh but then he was presented with a much more pleasant question. What was he going to do with Peter?

“Touch you.” Tony ran his hand lightly down Peter’s arm. Firmly back up it. His fingers traced the line of his collarbone. He ran his hand flatly, sliding between them, over Peter’s chest, his thumb catching over Peter’s nipple, circling it. He caressed down to Peter’s thigh, finding his way to the inside of it again. He spread the boy’s legs further apart, settling between them.

“Kiss you.” He put a light kiss on Peter’s lips. “Because I don’t think I will ever get enough of kissing you.” He kept his next kiss brief, but passionate.

“And watch…” The hand on Peter’s thigh moved up, his touch became more solid. He raised his leg to bend at the knee. Tony paused, letting his fingers explore the line between thigh and swell of the boy’s ass. But this time he didn’t stop there. He slid his hands beneath Peter’s ass, curling his fingers to ease his cheeks apart and brush against the tender skin there. “…Watch you… unfold in my hands.” He bent and held himself above Peter’s body.

Another kiss. Words whispered against soft lips. “I want to find everything that makes you moan. I want to find everything that makes you want. Everything that makes you need.”

“But what I need most is you, Tony,” Peter moaned, kissing back hard. For a moment his mind strayed back to those long, lonely weeks when he missed the man, halfway around the world. Missed him, feeling achy and forgotten. But he didn’t want to think about that now.

“What I wanted most,” he said breathlessly, in-between kisses, “Is for you to look at me like a man, someone old enough to be your lover. To take me to bed. To let me stay there.” It wasn’t easy, making this particular point understood, but Peter found that when he ran out of words he could just kiss Tony again. (Tony liked it when he took over the kissing.) “And the truth is…” Another kiss. “That when I set out to convince you to take me to your bedroom? I did not care what you wanted to do to me next. Whatever kind of sex you wanted, whatever you decided that was, that’s what I wanted too. I just wanted to be with you.”

“You have me, Peter. Every part of me has your name etched into it. I promise you… promise you… that I won’t let anything come between us now that we’re finally together.” He kissed Peter again and moved his hand, settling it on the boy’s thigh, feeling that dichotomous touch of soft skin and firm muscle beneath it.

“That’s why I waited, Pete. I wanted you so much. You were a beautiful boy. But a boy. I didn’t want someone with a teenage crush in my bed. Someone who looked at me… without being able to see me. I didn’t want a boy in my bed, I wanted a young man.” Tony smiled softly. “Part of the deciding factor? When you stopped calling me Mr. Stark and always called me Tony. I can’t be your hero to worship. Only to fight alongside of. That you saved yourself for… that you wanted it to be me?” he shook his head slightly in disbelief.

“I do have my favorite things to do when we’re together, but I like exploring things with you. I like… being there for the journey. Yeah, I would’ve been… if this hadn’t been part of it? Ah, I sound like such a greedy fuck… but god, Peter… I wanted to take you apart. I wanted to watch you fall to pieces.

“Now that you’re in my bed? Baby, I’m not ever letting you out of it. You’re mine.” His kiss was less tender, much more possessive. “My virgin,” he said when he broke their kiss. “Even if it’s been years, you’ll still be my virgin. No matter what we’re doing in bed… baby… I love you.” Tony closed his eyes and bit his lip before kissing Peter again. “I cherish you,” he whispered his words against Peter’s lips before kissing them there.

“Oh god Tony, I love you so much,” Peter whispered. He didn’t say anything, then, for a long time. He let Tony finish kissing him.

He enjoyed it.

“This is better than that first time, though,” Peter pointed out, when Tony was finished. “Because now I’m not worried about saying “I love you” accidentally.

“And, for the record, even if I hadn’t been madly in love with you? I still wanted it to be you. For about a million different reasons. Being your partner in the lab, and being your partner in the skies of New York? Well, I knew being your partner in bed would be amazing too.

“But I was madly in love with you, that’s why I mostly just spent all my time saying ‘Oh God Tony’ over and over and over.

“But here I am in your bed,” Peter said, pulling his arms away from Tony’s neck, sneaking them under Tony’s arms and moving his hands to Tony’s waist. “I am in love with you, and I’m not afraid to say it, and I want you like crazy, and I’m not afraid to say that either.

“So here we are, and I…” He took Tony by the waist with two firm hands. “I have something to… oh god this sounds stupid but… I have something to give you, too. And only to you.” He pulled Tony closer, pressing their bodies together to make his meaning clear.

“I want you to be the first one.

“I want you to be the only one.”

Tony kissed Peter hard, devouring his words, taking them into himself, letting them chase away any of his lingering fears. Everything was released on a sigh of the boy’s name.

“Peter… you… overwhelm me. When we kissed for the first time? Pete… things that took over a decade with anyone else… One kiss, baby… you wrecked me. You could only say ‘oh god Tony’ and I couldn’t shut up. Not just my usual endless talking… everything spilled out. Baby, things… I didn’t even know…

“Peter… You’re my first one. My only one.”

Peter moaned and sighed and wrapped Tony tightly in his arms. Then he remembered that his lover could be held too tightly and loosened his hold. A bit. But for a few silent moments he held, keeping his lover close.

When Peter finally let him go, he kissed him again, more tenderly. “You wanted me to stay touching you. And when I moved away, I missed you.” Tony reached underneath the usual extra pillow where he kept the lube, then he gently rolled them both on their sides, face to face. “I can touch you better,” he said smiling. He put the bottle within close reach. Then he ran his hand up Peter’s back. “I think you still like it better we’re touching more. You feel beautiful. You make my fingers hungry for your skin.” His hand moved down to cup Peter’s ass before he moved down to his thigh. Tony raised Peter’s leg over his, crooking it over his hip.

“Baby, I told you I want the everything of you. I meant everything. In bed and out. I want you in every part of my life. Though some parts are more…” He smiled and kissed Peter’s cheek. Kissed his jaw. Kissed his neck. “…currently relevant,” he said, dragging his open mouth along Peter’s neck. “God, I’d almost forgotten how your skin tastes.” As he kissed and nibbled at the boy’s neck, his hand worked its way up the inside of Peter’s thigh, fingers moving across where the position spread him wider, running from the base of his spine to his balls, only lightly brushing across his opening.

He took his time. He didn’t care if he missed whatever meeting he had in the morning. He didn’t care if Peter missed every one of his classes the next day. Tony wasn’t going to hurry. Touching… he missed that.

#starker #Messages Series #Messages MVR #Von writes stuff #thewitchway writes stuff

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actuallylorelaigilmore · 5 years ago

Photo

[laptop] i’ve officially watched my first five movies! to celebrate, i’m reposting the text list to more easily cross movies off it. i’m also linking each of my movie posts to the titles, so you can see my thoughts without having to scroll my whole tag :)

4th man out (2015) [hulu]

a beautiful day in the neighborhood (2019)

a family man (2016) [netflix]

a simple favor (2018) [hulu]

a wrinkle in time (2018) [disney]

abominable (2019)

about a boy (2002)

about time (2013) [netflix]

admission (2013) [laptop]

all the bright places (2020) [netflix]

always be my maybe (2019) [netflix]

an education (2009) [laptop]

ant man (2015) [disney]

ant man and the wasp (2018) [laptop]

aquaman (2018) [laptop]

arrival (2016) [laptop]

atonement (2007) [laptop]

august: osage county (2013) [laptop]

australia (2008) [laptop]

be kind rewind (2008) [laptop]

bedazzled (2000) [laptop]

begin again (2013) [laptop]

big eyes (2014) [laptop]

billy elliot (2000) [laptop]

birds of prey (2020)

blockers (2018) [laptop]

bohemian rhapsody (2018) [laptop]

bombshell (2019)

bowfinger (1999) [laptop]

boy erased (2018) [laptop]

brideshead revisited (2008) [laptop]

bright young things (2003) [laptop]

cairo time (2009) [laptop]

can you ever forgive me? (2018) [laptop]

charlie’s angels (2019)

chef (2014) [laptop]

clemency (2019) [hulu]

coco (2017) [disney]

colette (2018) [laptop]

crazy rich asians (2018) [laptop]

crouching tiger, hidden dragon (2000) [laptop]

demolition man (1993) [laptop]

detective pikachu (2019)

devil’s knot (2013) [laptop]

earth girls are easy (1988) [laptop]

effie gray (2014) [laptop]

fast color (2018) [hulu]

fright night (2011) [laptop]

frozen 2 (2019)

galaxy quest (1999) [amazon]

goodbye christopher robin (2017) [laptop]

gosford park (2001) [laptop]

happy death day (2017) [laptop]

happy death day 2u (2019) [laptop]

happy texas (1999) [laptop]

her smell (2018) [laptop]

hidden figures (2016) [bluray]

high school musical (2006) [disney]

high school musical 2 (2007) [disney]

high school musical 3 (2008) [disney]

holes (2003) [disney]

how to talk to girls at parties (2017) [laptop]

hunt for the wilderpeople (2016)

hustlers (2019)

hysteria (2011) [laptop]

i don’t feel at home in this world anymore (2017) [netflix]

i, tonya (2017) [hulu]

infinitely polar bear (2014) [laptop]

jackie (2016) [laptop]

jane got a gun (2015) [laptop]

jojo rabbit (2019)

judy (2019)

junebug (2005) [laptop]

jupiter ascending (2015) [netflix]

just mercy (2019) [laptop]

keeping mum (2005) [laptop]

knife fight (2012) [laptop]

knives out (2019)

kubo and the two strings (2016) [laptop]

lady bird (2017) [netflix]

laggies (2014) [laptop]

last christmas (2019) [laptop]

late night (2019) [amazon]

legally blonde (2001) [laptop]

lemonade mouth (2011) [disney]

lilo and stitch (2002) [disney]

little women (2019)

logan lucky (2017) [amazon]

long shot (2019)

love, simon (2018) [laptop]

mad max: fury road (2015)

mars attacks! (1996) [laptop]

mary queen of scots (2018) [laptop]

me and earl and the dying girl (2015) [laptop]

meet the robinsons (2007) [disney]

megamind (2010) [laptop]

men in black international (2019) [laptop]

mermaids (1990) [laptop]

miss peregrine’s home for peculiar children (2016) [laptop]

miss pettigrew lives for a day (2008) [laptop]

miss sloane (2016) [amazon]

molly’s game (2017)

monkey business (1952) [laptop]

monuments men (2014) [laptop]

moonrise kingdom (2012) [laptop]

morning glory (2010) [hulu]

mr. magorium’s wonder emporium (2007) [laptop]

mr. mom (1983) [laptop]

much ado about nothing (2011) [laptop]

nancy drew and the hidden staircase (2019) [laptop]

nanny mcphee (2005) [laptop]

nanny mcphee returns (2010) [laptop]

never let me go (2010) [laptop]

northanger abbey (2007) [laptop]

obvious child (2014) [laptop]

other people (2016) [netflix]

pacific rim (2013) [laptop]

paris is burning (1990) [laptop]

penelope (2007) [laptop]

pete’s dragon (2016) [disney]

pirate radio (2009) [laptop]

pitch perfect (2012)

pitch perfect 2 (2015)

pitch perfect 3 (2017)

please stand by (2017) [hulu]

pride and prejudice and zombies (2016) [laptop]

professor marston and the wonder women (2016) [hulu]

return to oz (1985) [disney]

rise of the guardians (2012) [laptop]

rocketman (2019) [hulu]

saving face (2004) [laptop]

seeking a friend for the end of the world (2012) [laptop]

short term 12 (2013) [laptop]

sing street (2016) [laptop]

sleeping with other people (2015) [netflix]

spiderman: far from home (2019) [laptop]

spiderman: homecoming (2017) [laptop]

spiderman: into the spiderverse (2018) [netflix]

spotlight (2015) [netflix]

spy kids (2001) [laptop]

suicide squad (2016) [laptop]

teeth (2007) [laptop]

the anniversary party (2001)

the best exotic marigold hotel (2012) [laptop]

the breadwinner (2017) [netflix]

the children act (2017) [laptop]

the disaster artist (2017) [netflix]

the divine order (2017) [laptop]

the emperor’s new groove (2000) [disney]

the fall (2006) [laptop]

the favourite (2018) [laptop]

the five year engagement (2012) [laptop]

the gentlemen (2020) [laptop]

the godfather (1972) [laptop]

the godfather part 2 (1974) [laptop]

the godfather part 3 (1990) [laptop]

the great gatsby (2013) [laptop]

the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society (2018) [netflix]

the hate u give (2018) [laptop]

the hunchback of notre dame (1996) [disney]

the hunger games (2012)

the hunger games: catching fire (2013)

the hunger games: mockingjay - part 1 (2014)

the hunger games: mockingjay - part 2 (2015)

the iron lady (2011) [netflix]

the legend of tarzan (2016) [laptop]

the man from u.n.c.l.e. (2015)

the master (2012) [netflix]

the miseducation of cameron post (2018)

the mummy (1999)

the mummy returns (2001)

the notebook (2004) [netflix]

the prince of egypt (1998) [hulu]

the queen (2006) [netflix]

the second best exotic marigold hotel (2016) [laptop]

the secret garden (2020) [not out yet]

the skeleton twins (2014) [hulu]

the spy who dumped me (2018) [hulu] [amazon]

the truman show (1998) [laptop]

the velocipastor (2018) [laptop]

the way he looks (2014) [laptop]

their finest (2016) [laptop]

this means war (2012) [laptop]

to all the boys: p.s. i still love you (2020) [netflix]

tootsie (1982) [netflix]

treasure planet (2002) [disney]

tully (2018)

us (2019) [laptop]

velvet goldmine (1998) [laptop]

venom (2018) [laptop]

victoria & abdul (2017) [laptop]

walk the line (2005) [laptop]

what we do in the shadows (2014) [laptop]

where’d you go, bernadette (2019) [hulu]

widows (2018) [laptop]

wild target (2010) [laptop]

yesterday (2019) [laptop]

zombieland: double tap (2019) [laptop]

movies removed from the list:

burn burn burn (2015)(removed bc couldn’t find)

in the heights (2020)(release delayed til next year)

pacific rim: uprising (2018)(removed bc not actually recommended)

star wars: the rise of skywalker (2019)(removed bc yikes after all)

the witches (2020)(release delayed til next year)

underworld (2003)(removed bc previously seen)

underworld: evolution (2006)(removed bc previously seen)

underworld: rise of the lycans (2009)(removed bc previously seen)

#the images still exist but i don't feel like reuploading them every time i watch a single movie and cross it off?#so this seemed like an easier way #200 movies in 2020 #update

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lizzybeth1986 · 6 years ago

Text

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1, Chapter 3

• I'm hoping that if I have this chapter out early enough (doubtful, because compiling and organizing my screenshots takes time, and my drafts often don't save which means there are times I will have to replicate whole paragraphs from scratch. But fingers crossed!), I might try and do revisits of the first book. I did four of those chapters last year, and I think now - when we're looking at some of the stories told to us in Book 1 from a new lens - is a good time to explore that first book again.

• I hope the read more issue is resolved by now. It made posting quite hard the last time. In the meantime these are the tags you can block: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• Thanks a lot to @pixieferry for her Hana playthrough, @thefirstcourtesan for her Drake playthrough screenshots and the Abhirio YouTube channel for the Maxwell playthrough screenshots. Not much of those are up, because of lack of space to put up the pictures and the fact that this particular chapter wasn't specifically LI centric.

• Title: Your Kingdom Awaits.

Alternative Title: Tell Me What's Gestating in My Womb Today, Cordonia! A Cordonian Ruby? An Autumn Glory? A Granny Smith?

• Three chapters in and I'm getting more and more baffled by this story by the day. There's stuff I like. Some of the characters I still love. I have fun looking at the little hints, the bits of symbolism, the callbacks. I love theorizing what we'll be doing next! But all of this needs to be glued together by a coherent storyline and this just isn't it.

• Even if we push aside the gross inequalities in balance (re: character development), there's still so much that just doesn't make sense. Why is there so much rush. Why is everyone in this country (and outside) so invasive and entitled over this one noble's child? Why are we doing such insane scales of prep over a process that is in itself is so unpredictable? Why am I learning about Cordonia's allies/potential enemies in such a vague and shoddy fashion? And most of all what kind of bullshit Royal Council is this???

• But I'll elaborate on all those questions later. For now let's move on to the chapter!

• If you didn't buy the corgi in Book 2, they ask you if you'd like to buy it now at the beginning of the chapter. Possibly that may affect the entry of the second corgi in some way? Idk.

• Esther, the Queen of Cordonia is also still the queen of winging it. You'd think they'd have planned a look for her (esp given the amount of time they could spend on the train) and gotten her ready by the time they reached there, not scrambled around for an outfit the minute they reached Valtoria.

• The LI tells the MC that they're fixed an appointment with the best obstetrician they could find, and we will be going there to ask our preliminary questions plus get a check up. I was wondering if in Hana's case they would be going to a fertility specialist instead.

• In any case, Bertrand volunteers to help us with an outfit for the last time in a short while, because he's traveling to Texas to prepare for their wedding. (we're going there too, but later. I'm not looking forward to another round of Savannah-worship - possibly with an added side of Bianca-worship - no thank you).

• Bianca's ranch is called the Walker Ranch, after Jackson's last name. Why Jackson's?

• Our OOTD!

Electric blue with a gold belt and a black and white border on the neckline, accessorized with a necklace (I think it's pearls set in gold?) and a brooch pin in the shape of a crown.

I kinda like this one and knowing the way this team operates when it comes to outfits most of the time, I'm pretty sure the colour scheme was chosen on purpose. With this outfit, the MC is presenting herself in the national colours, with a tiny signifier of what her future role might be. Either as Queen or as mother of the future heir to the Crown. This is an outfit that would send a message during Liam's announcement, whether she is (symbolically) wearing that crown or not.

• I'm obviously not very comfortable with the implications that would go with that outfit (esp if she is not the Queen), but I can't deny it does its job.

• The MC can opt to go for either being poised, acting like a diva or being very casual in her approach. Whatever she does the crowd pretty much worships her.

•

So everyone except Liam has someone (media, a fan, common people) approaching them as a way of showing how famous and revered the entire group has become in Cordonia. Liam doesn't need one coz he's anyway getting his moment with his big speech in front of the Valtoria manor.

Drake - Donnie Brine from the CBC speaks to Drake, positioning him as a man of the masses, the person that the Cordonian people see as their representative. Drake is woefully unprepared and freezes, blurting out that "things are great" which probably might end up becoming a meme on Cordonian internet later. Random Cordonian Woman from Applewood saves him by confirming this statement even though her trees have yet to grow and the tax problems are pretty much making her life "not great".

Maxwell - Where are Jiro and Camellia from Applewood? I like little Marco and Valerie but I hope they're not the only kids PB is going to be showing every time they need to show children. Marco approaches Maxwell and the MC both to sign his copy of Maxwell's book, and Maxwell takes care to do a dramatic signature that will not "obscure the picture of his face". I'm giggling at that image.

Hana - Valerie approaches Hana with a handmade flower necklace, presumably with a pattern made from "the Lee family crest". Now either Lorelai's family in Cordonia have the same surname as Xinghai, or Xinghai got himself a house crest for some reason. Either way, to toss out a detail like that so casually (a family crest is something that passes down through generations, esp in noble families) without even thinking of the logistics of it...(when an entire book of yours has been dedicated to sigils and crests) is pretty lazy.

BUT. In good news this means that my longtime speculation that Hana's mother's house had flowers as part of their court of arms is correct! (I was also right about a couple other things, like Maxwell's ancestors and Liam's mother being alive when Olivia was brought to the palace. YAY! 😁)

• We now move on to Liam's public announcement. Which sounds kinda weird whichever way you look at it. A married Liam announces that he and his wife are on a mission to enjoy babymaking and a single Liam announces this:

(Screenshots from a Hana playthrough by @pixieferry)

I will translate what both Liams are saying into Cordonian:

Married Liam: We don't have an apple cinnamon bun in the oven yet, but we're definitely having fun kneading that dough nudge nudge wink wink.

Single Liam: I'm neither making apple buns nor kneading dough. I'll leave that to my friends the bun-making experts here. I'm just gonna park my butt outside the oven door along with the rest of Cordonia.

Sounds weird? You're welcome. It was meant to sound weird.

• Esther finally reunites with her corgi Joy! I wonder if at some point she'll meet up with her horse Celestia and red pandas Hansel and Gretel too xD

• Mara tells me safety checks have been done, but...it's Mara saying that, so I'm not sure I'm quite convinced. The alternative is Bastien, so...we're kinda screwed I guess.

• The group then discusses the future foetus, and Liam takes this opportunity to hint at their childhood history. You know what that means? DIAMOND SCENE!!

•

(Screenshots for Asian Liam from my playthrough, Black Liam from @pixieferry and White Liam from @thefirstcourtesan)

LOOK AT THE WEE LITTLE KIDDIES AND LIAM'S MOM OMG AAAAAA.

As far as I can tell, among the kids the sprites for all three Liams and Drake are very much new, and the rest come from variations and changes to different faces. Maxwell's face is a copy of Simon from THoBM (only the mouth is slightly different), Hana's has a lot of similarities to young Kenna in TCaTF, but with pigtails instead of tiny buns. Olivia's is a little harder to place but I think there are plenty similarities between hers and RoE Camellia's face. For Queen Eleanor they used Young Mary's (MC's mother) sprite from D&D in accordance to whichever Liam you chose. Perhaps the only Mary sprite not used here would be the brown/Indian one, because Liam's ethnicities mainly feature White, Black and Asian. She even wears Mary's opera outfit (that incidentally Mary also ended up wearing to her wedding lol).

• Somehow they forgot that Maxwell was supposed to be a cute chubby little hippo who was loved by his mother.

• I'd like for Black Liam to grow more hair on his head because the curls on his younger self are lovely 😍

• Since most of the childhood tales revolve around the experience of growing up in the palace, this build up to the diamond scene begins with the MC asking questions about each of the boys (Liam, Drake, Maxwell).

- Little Liam and His Crown: Liam claims he only wore those during state occasions, but Maxwell (who admittedly didn't see Liam as much as Drake did but saw him often nonetheless) saw him practically sleep in the thing, and Drake has pictures to prove it lol.

- Grumpy Drake: Maxwell and Liam agree on Drake becoming grumpier as he grew older, but disagree on what metaphors to use to describe it. Maxwell favours "scratchy bark on a secretly loveable tree", and Liam claims he is "whiskey maturing in its barrell". ("oh", I want to ask Drake, "so that's what they call 'old grain mash' these days?" 🤣 This is my revenge for him referring to wine as old grape juice back in Book 2). No prizes for guessing which metaphor Drake liked better.

- Banning Maxwell from Palace Rooms: Maxwell's lucky he has a king for a friend because apparently before Liam jokingly and unwisely decided to give the man a royal pardon Maxwell was banned from all the good rooms 😅

• Hana clearly hasn't lost her touch when it comes to epic savagery. "I imagined you guys like the Three Musketeers, only...less French". 😅😅

• This diamond scene is split into three parts. You have the fun 'adventures' of the little boys (and later Olivia) at the palace, split in between by a slightly more sombre tale of little Hana's loneliness. The narrative voice in all three is very much that of a child, and focuses on Liam's and Hana's imaginations, so as to make their childhood stories more real to us while still providing us background information about the country's recent history (the "recent history" bit doesn't apply to Hana, though, since she is in China at the time).

- Pirate Adventures at The Palace Courtyard: Liam, Drake and Maxwell pretend to be pirate kings, battling rivals on the palace courtyard. After rescuing Maxwell from being stuck on the branches of a tree, the trio decide to continue their adventures on the gardens that are his mother's brainchild, but are stopped by a palace guard. Liam is briefly saddened by this, but is comforted by Drake and Maxwell. The boys then decide to continue playing in the palace kitchens. This scene begins by focusing on the antics of the little ones, but is really about the changed atmosphere in the palace that the boys themselves were too young to notice at the time.

(We also find out which place in TCaTF the Beaumonts originated from, since young Maxwell refers to himself as a pirate from Panrion in both scenes that he is in *cue Lizzy looking very very smug because I've been saying the Beaumonts were from Panrion/someplace in Ebrimel since way back in Book 2*)

The MC has options to respond to this tale (either about whether they were always this naughty, or about the increased security in the palace). In response to her question about the three of them, the boys tell us that Liam was known for being a free spirit and would skip many diplomacy meetings before he even met the other two (again, Constantine, Liam was A CHILD). If you ask the question they want you to be asking, however, about the increased security in the palace, Drake and Maxwell will tell you the security wasn't as strict earlier, and Liam will explain that the royal family had recently received threats at the time, and his parents were a lot more tense and on-edge than usual. Either way, you either get to know a bit about the political atmosphere at the time, or realize that little Liam wasn't the heavily burdened one we met on that first night in New York.

- Pretend-Teatime with a Young Hana: Hana continues on this thread of conversation by focusing on the bond between the boys, commenting on how she never grew up with that kind of experience. To which Drake and Maxwell have these reactions:

@Drake, pls fall on a cactus.

@Maxwell. Honey. She said this to you yesterday. She's probably said this more than once. You've seen her parents!! Wtf kind of friend are you if you can't even take what she said seriously the first time?

@Hana pls get yourself better friends 😭

Like @callmetippytumbles said in her response to this scene, I have no patience for this kind of selective stupidity.

So Hana's scene is technically a call-back to something she once told the MC back in Book 1 Chapter 6, when they were on their way to the post-Derby tea party with Queen Regina. At the time, Hana spoke of her parents not allowing her toys because they thought them frivolous, and how she had to make do with whatever was lying around instead. We actually see this happen in reality here. We see her PoV of what her inanimate objects do, we see her practicing court etiquette on these objects with her tea set, and we see her leave space for her asshole mother even though Lorelai doesn't deserve that much respect or consideration. There is a lot to unpack in this scene and I want to do that in my General Thoughts section later on...but for now I'll just say that it broke my heart, and not just in an "oh poor Hana" way.

- The Attack from Lythikos: I love this sequence too, not only because it shows us Olivia, a younger Constantine and Liam's mother Eleanor, but because the narrative framing in itself alludes to what happened between Lythikos and the Capitol earlier through the pirate story. Liam and Olivia still speak in the language of their story, but the sequence actually plays out what happens in their real lives. Olivia attacks the pirates, but is left desolate, sword broken, at the end of it (just like her parents tried to, and died in the process - leaving an innocent Olivia alone without support). Liam offers her terms that would give her safety and protection, and in return, she asks to be Pirate Queen and for Drake's sword - which he reluctantly gives.

Constantine mistrusts Olivia and attempts to limit her natural abilities and instincts, but it is Liam's empathy, support and validation of her pain, that eventually makes her the steadfast ally that she becomes as an adult - not Constantine's paranoia. Had Liam followed Constantine's lead, the chances of Olivia falling into the trap of subscribing to her aunt's beliefs would have been much much higher, and Constantine would have found himself at the receiving end of a self-fulfilling prophecy. The narrative may also be implying how deep Eleanor's own impact on her son must be, long after her death, since the narrative frames him as adopting her way of dealing with situations often.

In any case the narrative allows us to see the children as they were before their individual tragedies changed them (except in Olivia's and Hana's cases - where they were still struggling to survive the situations they were in), and allows us to see what shaped them into the adults they are today.

The MC then gets to ask one of two questions: either why Constantine treated Olivia so badly, or about the arguments his parents were having. We learn from these that this incident was shortly after Liam became friends with her and his parents brought her to the palace (this references both Liam's conversation about Olivia to the MC in Book 1 Chapter 7, and Lucretia's complaints about Constantine "keeping Olivia hostage" in her diamond scene in Book 3).

• Possibly this may not be the only scene of its kind we will see. Possibly the next few may be Drake-centric, since we may actually meet Bianca in a few chapters. But these scenes may definitely have an impact on dialogue later, just like how learning of the assassination attempt in Drake's Italian Restaurant Scene and Eleanor's death in Liam's Fydelia Balcony Scene in Book 2 are referred to later (if bought) in the hospital scene with Constantine.

• In any case, we leave the past in the past (for now), and move towards Valtoria's throne room. Where we meet Penelope, just back from her first canine fashion show, Kiara who tells us she has everything kept under control (you always do boo 😍) and Madeleine who is all up our uterus.

• She mentions King Bradshaw from Auvernal and his "impossible to control" wife, then mentions a Queen Amalas immediately after without bothering to tell us where this person is from. WTF? At least tell me the name of her goddamn country if she's another person!! You'd just have to say Queen Amalas of ChickenFeetonia and I would understand.

• ...you're telling me the Queen of this country (in my playthrough) has barely looked at a map of the place she's ruling or checked out who rules what?? You're telling me that the Royal Communications Director is STILL going to give her a gazillion flash cards to read something that she could sum up in five minutes, at the very last minute? Bitch what have you been doing this entire time? Touching up your manicure??

•

@Penelope: No you're not.

@Kiara: STOP ENABLING HER, KIKI, AND GET YOURSELF BETTER FRIENDS.

@Madeleine: Pls fall on a cactus.

• Madeleine hasn't been here for even five minutes and already I've had enough of her entitled ass. "Little apple gestating in your womb"...just...I can't. Ugh. Get your nosy nose out of my oven!!

• Remember how I told you guys about how apple analogies may be used to denote fertility? (mostly because RoE spoke of this apple cutting ceremony and it was a very obvious indicator towards apple metaphors being used to describe pregnancy and childbirth).

• I facepalmed when Kiara agreed with her but she's also probably thinking "well see this is why they call me the smart courtier. I don't have to deal with this shit anymore and now you do" (she isn't wrong).

• WELL HELLO OLIVIA.

• She informs us that we're expected at the solarium. I have a solarium?

• Apparently it was Mara's honeymoon gift to us. More like her "sorry Bastien and I screwed up last book" gift, I'd say.

• So wait where was this roster Liam was speaking about in the last book's epilogue? I see one Cordonian noble and one Englishman who until my wedding wanted to have nothing to do with Cordonia, and who's now bleating "our country, our kingdom, we're under attack" like a panicking patriotic nanny goat.

• Why can I not see Emmeline here, who is clearly the expert on her duchy? (I mean like. Landon is nice, but I'd really like to see more women in this Council too). Also does Kiara's inclusion into the Council cancel out the presence of her father Hakim, who is a seasoned diplomat and might possibly have some really good suggestions for dealing with these foreign powers (and seriously he'd be a better option than Godfrey anyway).

• Now Esther has a suggestion! Let's see what it is...

• A royal ball, apparently. Which...given the company, I'm sure it probably would be appropriate but I'm pretty sure we'll need to have more than that in place. I'm pretty sure the people in this council should either be finding out whether the person making these suggestions knows anything about these issues or whether she is simply talking out of her ass. This was a problem last book as well. The MC rarely feels the need on her own to explore these situations more, is okay with just learning things last minute and rolling with it and has the same solution to everything. It's either tours or balls but very little actual exploration of the situation. (I mean there is even a point where she barely shows any empathy at Portavira - even though they're still reeling from a bunch of natural calamities - and thinks it's appropriate to tell them to come for her wedding anyway. No wonder Liam panicked and started giving her diplomacy lessons, stat!) I'd actually take the MC seriously if she were doing her research and her suggestions weren't so shallow and one-note.

• Hana is grinning and giving justifications like this suggestion makes sense. STOP. ENABLING. HER. HANA.

• I especially want to know what Liam's experiences with these dignitaries have been. Both last chapter and this one, I'm seeing him in a position where he is defiant and digging his heels into whatever ideas he is having, but I don't know the context yet and would like to make sense of that. From whatever I've read so far...Liam took the year following Leo's abdication to familiarize himself with taking the front seat in negotiations, and probably may have been familiar with this kind of situation and the kind of people involved even before he became Crown Prince. It makes me wonder how difficult negotiating with them has been, and I want to see why Liam is so done with these people, so fed up. We're missing some context here and I think learning at least a little more than these scraps would have been better for everyone.

• I like that they remember Kiara as the only one outside of the charmed six to get a seat in this council (Kiki deserves the best). I also liked how succintly she summed up Drake and Hana's points about what the heightened taxes are doing to the people as "a reminder that we're not just here for ourselves".

• I find the entire idea of Drake Walker being the sole commoner representative in the Council laughable, especially in a narrative where every other commoner barely has a face, hardly has a name, and almost never has a voice. A man who has spent a huge chunk of his life in a palace, and who I've hardly seen even interacting with a commoner in the story...I'm expected to believe he will have great insights on commoner issues?? Even in this meeting, it's Hana who does a better job explaining this situation (she's the one highlighting the tax issues) than he does. Then again this Council also somehow gave a seat to Duke Karlington - a man who literally never had Cordonia's best interests in mind last book, and who only ended up attending our wedding because we had to be brought in as family counselors to settle HIS family disputes (I mean lol Godfrey how can you call this wedding a disaster when it caused you to magically become so "patriotic"!)

For God's sake, I want to see other commoners on this council. I want people who are actually living these experiences highlighting their issues. This is an issue I have with the MC too. She started out a commoner herself a waitress who wouldn't even flinch at the sight of rats in a dumpster. For someone of that background and who has possibly lived under the worse circumstances than some Cordinians themselves, you'd think that she'd have questions and show interest in how the people who aren't owning lands and are regular individuals on the street live their lives, and whether things are okay for them. But she's so immersed in the world of nobility that she rarely ever even tries to come out.

• Before Liam takes into account everyone's points and comes to a conclusion, the MC has the opportunity to give them her opinion. She can either say that we can't trust anyone, which Godfrey agrees with, or that an alliance would be good for Cordonia, which Godfrey views as naive, OR (and I didn't expect to like this response but I actually do) that she's a waitress from the States, and wouldn't know all that much about this situation. To which there isn't much of a reaction as such, but that's kind of what seems different about this book compared to the others.

• Once the meeting is wrapped up, our LI and Maxwell/Hana whisper in a corner about a surprise they have in store, and take us upstairs to show us what it is. If you're marrying any of the other three, Maxwell is the one who has arranged and picked out themes and colour schemes for the nursery. If you're married to Maxwell, Hana takes over this role.

• Ooooh. New (I think!) baby music! Nice. Very lullaby-like.

• Every design has these basic components:

a crib with a pillow (which I think will be updated later)

a couch nearby, likely for comfort when the mother wants to breastfeed (the updated versions seem to have a footrest)

a table with a lamp

three empty frames (also to be updated. I'm guessing for one of those "my first hand/foot impression" kind of thing and maybe even photoshoots etc)

a ceiling lamp/chandelier

a hook, also on the ceiling.

The two updated versions have footrests, updated lamps and ceiling decorations, additional carpet and customized designs (except for the crib and the pictures and the hook, which I think will be updated later). The Royal Glam theme is all reds and golds, very luxurious and very Valtoria. The Fairytale Forest theme has more whimsy, with bears, foxes, leaves, flowers and apples on the wallpaper, wood paneling, a beautiful golden lamp. Very pretty. Both seem to reference the MC's journey in TRR: her being either a Royal and the closest thing to one, and her journey being very fairytale-like (remember, the same logic was used for Hana's "something blue" gift for the MC's - where she views her as Cinderella).

• Only problem is...who exactly buys a nursery before they have a baby! Especially considering how unpredictable pregnancy and childbirth can be.

• We now meet Dr Ramirez for an appointment. I'm not sure about her suggestion that prenatal vitamins etc they will deal with after she has conceived. I know a number of people who did pre-pregnancy appointments and vitamins and folic acid were on the top of the list of things they'd start a routine with.

• As expected, all the appointments go roughly the same, with the usual answers to the usual questions (one about sushi, another about morning sickness and a last one about potential complications). The MC and LI are in the clear, and can start preparing - but apparently shouldn't stress. LMAO. Thank you doctor, I'm sure that will be easy to do in this country 😂

• Hana's goes differently, and it's clear this doctor's visit was primarily written to address her situation with the MC. The tests go differently, the suggestions given to them are different, the questions the MC asks (one about choosing donors, when they should start, and who should carry the child). The bombshell that immediately follows this is:

Wow. Seriously. Wow. You couldn't find a more temporary reason for why the MC has to be the one conceiving? It has to be something that would make her overall ability to conceive almost impossible?? (and this we find after one test? No follow ups?) I recall someone putting up/reblogging these screenshots with a caption about how the narrative pretty much took Hana's entire ability to conceive from her, and it's so true - and so disturbing when you place it in the context of how they've dealt with her issues so far (more on this later).

• In Hana's playthrough, she struggles with implications of this news, but constantly tries to veer the focus back to "well at least one of us can is able to have this baby". Twice, she is shown moving away from her pain to ask about the other possibilities for the MC.

• Anyway...we now move to the next morning, when the couple wake up to bad news - and it's concerning the pictures taken during their honeymoon. Given that Maxwell/Hana is holding a magazine when they tell the MC they found out who was responsible...I wonder if it's one of our news outlets. Or whether it's a foreign media rep.

• So I guess this complicates things at our Ball, since we're already on thin ice and this news would have spread to those other dignitaries as well. So we're going to have to deal with whatever implications come with those pictures (perhaps a spin on the royal gang having fun while Cordonia is in a national crisis? Who knows. It would be hypocritical of Cordonians and people from other neighbouring countries to judge the couple over the babymaking that they themselves were enforcing on these two!)

• In any case...royal ball this week. And in the universe of PB's stories that usually means some shit will go down.

General Thoughts and Observations:

• The funny thing about the MC's responses now is that her heightened position now seems to allow her to get away with a lot more than she used to. Now if she gives a joke response, the media and people laugh with her rather than at her. If she is a diva, the crowd will lap it up. I'm guessing what the book is trying to imply is that these are the people she has won over and doesn't exactly need to worry about, and now the ones she will have to convince are from other, more powerful countries - ready to back Cordonia into a corner anytime.

• As you can tell by now, I absolutely loved the childhood sequences. They sounded like children, most of the narrative lines up with what was already said in the previous series, and there were some interesting narrative devices used here.

• I think the third sequence especially drives home the point about what Liam did right, even as a young boy, and what Constantine refusing to look past Olivia's lineage to see her as an individual could have cost him. Constantine's ruthlessness and lack of genuine care for his bonds/friendships (eg. Hakim) had him in a position where he was unable to relate to anyone beyond his own tiny bubble (even his own wife Regina was taking countermeasures to make the best of his horrid plan), and had him make decisions that did more harm than good. For instance, take what he did to the MC, for no fault of her own other than that he didn't think she'd be a good Queen. Not only was what he did utterly disgusting, but it also would have made his own family a subject of shame in the country (which is why Constantine practically begs her never to expose him, because then Liam would be paying the price). Imagine what would have happened if Constantine didn't agree with Liam and perhaps Eleanor, never brought Olivia to the palace, and Liam had never shown her his constant support. Liam's genuine empathy in this case pretty much ensured the safety of his own line.

• I also love the implications of that sequence. Constantine is so wrapped up in his fear that he tries to break what Olivia considers most precious (Zenobia the sword in this case, but this could allude to her parents' deaths and later, her possible marriage to Liam at his Coronation). Liam attempts to fill that gap by taking her in, caring for her, and giving her the tools to continue being the Lythikos fighter she has always been.

• There are a few TCaTF references in the palace scenes: Maxwell mentions Panrion twice, and Olivia calls her sword "Zenobia" in honour of her historical hero (she still speaks of Zenobia with something akin to worship during the Winter Festival in Lythikos).

• Olivia's dress is also modelled on Zenobia's, with the same colour and bodice embroidery. In fact most of the clothes are very similar to their adult garments: Drake still wears denim, Maxwell favours dark colours (still should have been chubby though), Liam's clothes are similar to his casual wear minus the ascot, and Hana wears pink, with flower designs on the skirt.

• What I like most are the narrative voices for both Liam and Hana, who are the ones narrating these stories, and how rooted in their imaginations the scenes themselves sound. But there are significant, heartbreaking differences in how we see their imaginations play out:

Here are a few samples of narration I've managed to save from Liam's PoV. Notice how Liam and his friends are so into their little game that they find adventure in everything? Notice the language they use to describe themselves and what they are doing? Once-defiant topiaries shaking in fear at their antics. "Liberating" chocolate tarts. "Conquering" the upper floors. These boys are playing out their dreams and showing us the kind of men they would want to be. The heroes. The victors. The ones everyone looks at with awe and reverence.

This is also not a story Liam is creating alone. Drake and Maxwell happily join in, sink into their characters and display their heroics alongside him. Olivia also joins in and holds her own, and when Liam's father tries to break her spirit, Olivia shows Liam her trust and faith in him by using the language of the game.

On the other hand, here is what the narration technique in Hana's tea scene looks like:

There is a lot to unpack here. A lot. There is perhaps more in this one scene of Hana's than there is in all of Book 3, where she was pretty much pushed to the sidelines.

We were told in Book 1 that Hana had to get creative because she wasn't allowed toys. This was told to us in a rather matter-of-fact way, by a person who was normalized in this way of life and who hadn't yet realized just wrong her upbringing was or how damaged her self of self was. It's perhaps easy to forget this bit of dialogue if you were reading it for the first time because at the end of the day it's spoken of without much gravity.

It's when you see it play out in front of you, in little Hana's voice, from an adult Hana who will now view this entire sequence very, very differently, that the tragedy of it all really hits you. At such a young age she is forced to make do with the little she has: the little she has in terms of things to play with, the little she has in terms of relationships. What the MC says after that sequence is half-right, it's sweet how Hana used her imagination in spite of her parents' rules and strict lifestyle. But what that misses is the burden experiences like that would place on a child in her earliest, more formative years. What stand out to me the most in this sequence are these:

- The most obvious: the use of a 'tea party' to teach herself etiquette and diplomacy. In the present, Hana tells the group that "a lot of what I learned about courtly negotiations, I learned from the tea table". This is the level Hana chooses to focus on after telling her tale, to soften the blow of the story itself.

- The fact that despite her mother's treatment of her, Hana still leaves space for Lorelai. Still wants to believe the best of her, still wants her involved in her life. Lorelai denies her her support and comfort, which is the initial layer to her injustices against Hana. In a lot of ways, even now - Hana is still leaving space for Lorelai, giving her chances to improve, trying to educate her on respecting her boundaries better. It's a long, exhausting process, and Lorelai doesn't deserve the many chances Hana keeps giving her, but Hana is also a person who struggles to completely cut off from the people in her life, controlling and emotionally abusive though they may be.

- At the end of the day, the objects she is giving a life and a personality to, are inanimate objects used for other purposes. Not toys, not real friends. Every last one of them. Miss Doily is kind and caring, Princess Sinckerdoodle is jealous and gives a damn about etiquette (I like how you can see allusions there to Olivia and the MC in the Bakery Ball dialogue!). But they're essentially all objects that cannot move the way her narration describes them as moving. Even dolls and toys, inanimate though they are, are made for the express purpose of allowing a child to participate in pretend play. They can be given a voice, their limbs can be moved, the child can easily turn such a space into an active space with the use of her toys. The doily, the napkin, the sock...these are things Hana will have very little actual control over. They will not be able to move the way she wants them to, do the things she wants them to. Everything has to be happening in her head and there is very little outlet for her other than the few things she has at hand (a similar example of of Hana using scraps we will also find in Book 2, where she draws whiskers on a rock to replicate a toy mouse).

Look again, at the differences in the way Liam narrates his tale and how Hana narrates hers. Liam's is also a fantasy, also uses inanimate objects. But supporting him in building this imaginary universe are his friends, and the parents who both don't stop him from immersing himself in this imaginary world, and have a safe normal (for now) life to return to when those "adventures" are over. On the other hand, Hana has to do the heavy work...in every way. She has to imagine not only the background of what is happening, but also what the objects in front of her are like, what they will do, how they will interact with her, how they will interact with each other.

If I had to replicate such a scene into film, the loneliness of this sequence would perhaps hit harder. A large, empty room. A tiny girl. A tea set and several strange items - and none of them actually move. She is sitting alone, in the dim light, in the silence, talking to these objects that will never respond so she pretends they do, just to chase away that yawning, aching feeling of not having a single friend. All she gets in return is silence. All she finds in front of her is space, and more space. The kind of space that could swallow a child in its emptiness.

And in the center, is a seat left empty. For a mother who doesn't believe her daughter is worth the time.

I think there will be very few who will appreciate the strength it takes to survive a lifetime of that, and that's sad.

• The little Hana sequence reminds me of the animated film Cinderella, particularly in how the main character uses dreams and imagination as an escape from her life of drudgery and the abuse she faces daily. Particularly the song "Sing Sweet Nightingale", where Cinderella's dull world bursts into vivid colour through the soap bubbles that emerge from the washing bucket.

It's a beautiful, soft, almost surreal little sequence...but when you strip it all down to its basics, what you're essentially seeing is a woman so abused by her family and so trapped in this life she does not deserve, that she has to grasp at straws to find joy. Or in this case, soap bubbles.

What Hana faces in her home is perhaps a little more similar to Rapunzel's situation in Tangled than Cinderella's, but there are definite similarities in the way both characters use their imaginations to soothe and comfort themselves. She is forced into a situation where her imagination - and these things that can't respond to her - are all she has, and the only ways she can keep herself safe and happy. That's way too big a burden for a child so young to bear.

• I wonder if there will be more than the memories. Perhaps documents, news clippings, research material that the MC can use to dig further into what's going on in this country. It's possible, but it's also possible that memories will entirely be how we unravel this mess. I was speaking to @thefirstcourtesan the other day and she mentioned that Bianca and Bastien would both be pretty good sources for finding out more - Bastien, after all, had a lot of respect for the second queen and was close to Jackson, and Bianca would have heard certain things from her husband or witnessed something at the very least (and if they were friends, that angle too). I probably would add Lucretia and maybe Anton (if we see them and if they cooperate), Bertrand or someone new who knew Bartamely (if we can find out more about the Beaumont house that would be lovely!), the Lees, and...Francesco? (I still haven't forgotten that Bertrand mentioned him as being a friend of Liam's mother). I also want to see what new information Olivia got from the last time she did her research on any hidden deals or laws that could endanger the kingdom. There are quite a few possibilities in terms of what we could find and how it can be presented, so I'm looking forward to that. This scene was a good start.

• Having said that, this was something they should have been addressing the previous book. If they hadn't spent so much of their focus on all the wrong things, we wouldn't have as much ground to cover as we do now. And I'm not sure they've learned their lesson enough that we will not see the same mistakes repeated this time.

• Why is the system in place to inform and update the MC on what's happening so poor this time. At least earlier, we'd have a fairly good idea of what would be happening next, even if some important stuff was done last minute. Now the explanations themselves are poorly formed and done without proper thought on whether the MC/readers might understand what's going on or not. It doesn't look good on the story, nor does it look good on those characters esp the MC. This is stuff she could have maybe gotten away with as a suitor. But now she is Duchess/Queen, and an influential figure. What looked good in her days as a suitor won't look so good on her now.

• The Royal Council could be a way forward - for the nobility and royalty-heavy narrative to something that shows us more perspectives from the people who really form the backbone of this country - the commoners who actually populate Cordonia's lands and duchies, whose hard work likely keeps the economy running. Just one Drake isn't adequate for that kind of representation - not when he very rarely addresses their issues in the first place. Please tell me there will be more in that Council because the Council as it stands is in no way an improvement on the status quo.

• I've said more than enough about how bizarre and downright OOC Liam sounds, but I do think we should not ignore the context - the fact that every single individual involved is making these demands of the MC and expecting her to save their country through her child without really checking if she has basic knowledge or other resources in place (such as information about the rulers she is meeting). That includes the LIs. It's very easy to make just a character or two a convenient scapegoat, but let's not forget that there isn't a single person in this entire narrative that is bothering to examine the implications. Not a single.

• What really got me angry...was the Hana doctor sequence. Maybe two books ago it would have just hurt - but more on the level of "it hurts to see Hana like this but I have hope for her". Hope that she would have the space to grieve something she had lost before she could ever even have it, hope that the narrative would validate her pain and encourage her healing. But I can't even hope for that anymore.

This is a very very painful, complicated situation to put a person in. And yes, sometimes those are things you want to talk about and finding out you can't have children when you've always wanted to have them is a very real, very difficult situation - and there is a lot you can explore in terms of how a person with these conditions would feel. But the thing is...Hana has already been on the receiving end of multiple tragic storylines. I have already seen enough and more of her in pain. What I'm not seeing is a good - or even adequate - payoff that validates her painful journey and allows for a release of those emotions. I'm constantly seeing more tragedy, less triumph. I'm not seeing enough satisfactory resolution to those many many issues, and I've spent three books just watching her hurt be brushed aside both by the people who bully her AND the people who are supposed to be her friends (let's be real, they're doing it even now). And now is supposed to be a good time to pile up another difficult situation on her???

• Whenever Hana has been forced into situations that hurt her, her emotions and thoughts have always been pushed to the sidelines - unless and until it was to elevate the MC to a pedestal in Hana's eyes. Hana has rarely - if ever - been given the space to speak out against injustices done to her, has rarely been allowed to have an opinion on people who have harmed her.

When the narrative should have been validating what Madeleine put Hana through, they opted to create sympathy for Madeleine instead...and had her completely minimize what she did to Hana ("I'm sure Hana will be willing to let bygones be bygones").

When the narrative should have been allowing her to discover what her sexuality was, they opted not to talk about it at all. They opted to make her MC-sexual instead. Even with the "alternative LI" they planned for her (*pukes*), they focused more on Madeleine's feelings than Hana's.

When the narrative should have allowed her the space to explore what her parents did wrong and arm her against their faulty arguments about her being the "delicate flower" who cannot survive without them, the writers opted to push her into a 'solution' that was still centered around her usefulness, not her emotional state. Her 'happy ending' with her parents involves constantly educating them on how to treat her with respect, a suffocating, draining process for a child with her background.

When the narrative should have - at least - given her a good wedding, after showing us what dreams she had for it, a wedding where she was treated like a bride, not a bridesmaid, her writers did exactly the opposite. She is more skilled than the MC yet it is the MC that gets the duchy. She is the creative one who comes up with the polo moves yet it is the MC that gets the credit. She is the one that didn't have a chance to fully plan her own wedding the way she wanted earlier, yet the same MC still treats her like her wedding planner rather than a bride. In not one of these situations is she ever allowed to vent about or even speak of what this is doing to her.

Maybe they will give her a chance to explore this difficult journey, maybe they won't. But how dare they push another tragic, difficult (to her) truth such as this, when they have barely allowed her to voice discontent or pain on a host of other issues!

Piling more pain on top of the pain a character already has, isn't going to make your character better developed. Allowing them the space to feel and show those feelings to others will. Thinking of worthy resolutions to those issues, will. If you want to be fair to Hana, center her in her story. Expand on her origins. Focus on story not skills. And validate her pain goddammit!!

• Sigh. Until next time, folks.

#long post #the royal heir #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #king liam #hana lee #maxwell beaumont #drake walker #olivia nevrakis #trr kiara #trr penelope #trr madeleine #bertrand beaumont

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a-cai-jpg · 5 years ago

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a drama review you never asked for

So yesterday, I started a drama by accident.

before we begin, here is a little glossary: Itazura Na Kiss = Playful Kiss (Korean), It Started with a Kiss (Taiwanese), Love in Tokyo (Japanese) Naoki = the main male lead in Itazura Na Kiss, stoic, bitchy brainiac whom everyone is in love with Kotoko = the main female lead in Itazura Na Kiss, a clutz, sucks at school, is in love with Naoki Yanmo = the main male lead in Le Coup de Foudre Qiaoyi = the main female lead in Le Coup de Foudre

I say by accident, because it was a weird series of events that led me to click on the first episode of Le Coup De Foudre, and by the time I realized what had happened, I was on episode 26 and it was 1:20 in the morning.

Help.

I finished it today before noon because I watch drama in the fucked-up way where I kind of skip forward by 5 second increments when they talk about things I don't really care about or when they're narrating life lessons.

(I always wonder if I'm missing something integral to the drama-watching experience when I do this because I do this 85% of the time, but it's either this or I get distracted going on social media cause I can't freaking sit still.)

(idk i think i still get most of the drama though. right?)

But I don't know, I really liked the drama. Not in the way where I want to revisit every scene on Tumblr and proclaim my love for it in the tags like I do with some. It's one of the dramas where I watch, and it just kind of sits heavily in my heart for a little bit and tells me to appreciate who I have around me.

Le Coup De Foudre begins with the ending, where the two characters are already together. They reminisce about their relationship from the very beginning, and that's how the drama progresses. I think it's that feeling, the in media res, the frequent analepsis, that strengthens the poignancy of the nostalgia.

It kind of reminds me of brewing tea.

(lol, midway through a scene, i felt a pang in my chest because i felt so bad for the female lead, and i paused the video and sighed in contentment and was like, "ahhh yes i feel feelings again.")

(sos)

So, I have been describing Le Coup De Foudre as the better version of Itazura Na Kiss--the better version of a plotline we have seen very often. The drama begins in a high school, stretches past college, and ends when both leads find their place next to each other as they leave school-life behind them.

And obviously, during high school, the female lead is failing all her classes whilst the male lead scores number one in every class. And of course, circumstances draw the two together, and the male lead grudgingly begins to tutor the female lead.

But, where Itazura Na Kiss has a male lead who is emotionally manipulative and has a side-hobby of rendering the girl to tears, Le Coup De Foudre has a male lead who is certain of what he wants and faces his feelings head on. There's no tugging back and forth and no unnecessary drama, but instead, a very natural progression from sitting next to a girl you like to finding each other again years after high school graduation.

When I watched Itazura Na Kiss (or the many iterations of it, either in different languages or under a different name cough cough A Love So Beautiful cough cough), there was an anxiety clouding the female lead. She treads carefully, trying to present herself in a version that makes the male lead happy. The male lead, on the other hand, is at a loss of how to address her feelings and thereby, ends up acting like an ass.

(Disclaimer: I don't actually remember much of the dramas. It's been a while.)

In high school, he is not mature enough to handle his feelings for the female lead alongside the stress of living up to his parents' expectations and figuring out what he wants to do in the future. In college, he is not mature enough to handle the admittedly annoying advances of the female lead alongside the new social terrain of unversity. Post-college, he is not mature enough to handle his new marriage alongside his stressful job at the company. From high school to post-college graduation, the male lead does not learn how to navigate a relationship where both parties' feelings matter and instead, focuses on what he thinks a relationship should look like.

The female lead isn't faultless either, though her archetype has evolved throughout the years. In It Started with a Kiss and Love in Tokyo, she was a caricature of what her character should have been. In A Love So Beautiful, she graduated from being utterly ridiculous to being a little clumsy and a little too head over heels for a not-great guy, but the viewer can't help but be a little fond of her.

In Le Coup De Foudre, she becomes more. Her character stops being defined by her love for the guy.

I like Le Coup De Foudre because before lovers, they are friends first.

(like. come on. that's kinda cute right.)

It's the softly veiled kind of affection that gets me. Like, when she pauses at the doorway to the classroom, and unlike last semester there are many more desks for her to choose from, but she decides to sit next to him anyways. Or, when he says something stupid and hurts her feelings and is stressing out about how to apologize, but she breaks the ice first and gives him a water bottle.

See, Yanmo is very much the same stoic, brainiac character Naoki was. But unlike Naoki, he is not afraid of his feelings. He doesn't want to hurt her, but his EQ isn't great so he inevitably does so anyways. Yet, he recognizes when he does wrong and takes the initiative to awkwardly ask her twin brother how to apologize. He admits to his mom that he likes her far, far before she even realizes she likes him. He gets drunk on a mouthful of vodka by accident and remembers this dumb thing she said about guys with ties being hot, so he grabs the tie of a fellow student and says he wants it because "guys with ties are hot." He faces his feelings in the immature way a high school student who's never been in love does, but he doesn't deride them. He doesn't think they are beneath him, or that he has larger aspirations and he's just taking a small reprieve from them to be with her.

(this is the kind of stoic male lead I like!!!)

He doesn't leave her behind, running to catch up. Instead, he's always quietly waiting for her.

And when they get together, he lets her fool around. He lets her take all the blankets, he challenges her brother to Chinese Clash of Clans and beats him senseless when he bullies his sister, he jokes with her in that deadpanned way of his, brings her soup when she's writing in a hotel, picks her up on the roadside on a rainy day, and doesn't reprimand her.

I think this sort of character who plays on the trope of the stoic, smart kid, but fleshes him out so that he cries and laughs and puts other people before him is what makes this relationship dynamic work. There's no icky feeling like in Itazura Na Kiss, where the audience is constantly questioning whether or not Naoki actually loves Kotoko, because in this drama, it's so, so clear that Yanmo loved Qiaoyi since high school.

The other characters are well-written as well. Qiaoyi sucks at math, but she's not stupid. She's shy, but she's not afraid of pursuing what she puts her mind to. She cares a ridiculous amount for other people, but she's not naive, and it's ultimately a combination of these traits that helps the characters save Yanmo's company from bankruptcy. Like I've mentioned before, Qiaoyi isn't defined by her love for Yanmo. She loves Yanmo so much that she pledged to think about him only six days of the week, and then four days, and then two days, and then eventually it'll be just one day of the week, but it never really happens. She loves Yanmo so much, but she lives the life she's supposed to live, accepting that even if he's not by her side, she still needs to work hard for her dream.

There's no second male lead, so there's no dramatic I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU EVER WILL screaming match where the first male lead stands there and clenches his teeth because he doesn't know how to proclaim his love. Instead, there's a loving older twin brother who dotes on Qiaoyi but doesn't forget to jokingly remind her that their parents picked her up from the trashbin. Instead, there's an emotionally mature first male lead who tells Qiaoyi he loves her and will be hurt if she likes someone else.

The second female lead is gorgeous and instead of kickstarting a nasty jealousy arc, she becomes one of Qiaoyi's closest friends. It takes a while, but she eventually recognizes that maybe she's liked Yanmo since a young age, but she never really fell in love with him. Instead, she falls in love with Yanmo's uncle who is the same age as him. Uncle isn't a good looking dude, but tbh, Cheng Youmei is pretty enough for both of them.

Uncle is the number one Yanmo/Qiaoyi fan. I like him.

Le Coup De Foudre is great, but I feel kind of bad criticizing Itazura Na Kiss, because it did make up a large part of my childhood.

(i was so offended when the wall outside my house fell and my fam was evicted and we had to live at a motel and not at a hot family friend's house smh)

Also, there's always this little voice in my head whenever I say some TV show isn't good (which is very often because I'm a pretentious brat) telling me to stop being a hypocrite.

See, when I was in middle school, one of my favorite TV dramas was Meteor Shower, which is one of the many iterations of Hana Yori Dango.

(LOL Meteor Shower is a whole other can of worms)

I remember I watched it when I was in Shanghai for summer vacation, and then when season 2 came out, I was again, in Shanghai.

(even back then, I thought season 2 was trash.)

When I watched season 2, I lived with my aunt. Because I lived with my aunt, and because my aunt is one of those more-pretentious-than-me people who watches British television and has a wine cooler, I remember switching the channel to something else every time she came by my room.

Which is pretty ridiculous considering I was literally watching a PG television show and not porn.

The reason was some time in my childhood--I don't remember when--I asked to watch a show--I don't know what show it was, it might've been Happy Camp--and my aunt looked at me, appalled, and was like, "You watch that kind of trash? Isn't that kind of show for idiots?"

And I was just kind of like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As you can tell, that conversation has stayed with me. My aunt is living with our family right now, and even now, I feel a little sheepish watching my dramas or listening to my music.

(let me explain. my aunt came downstairs one day, and was just casually like, "Liszt is pretty good, huh?" and i was like lol um what.)

(she sits on the toilet and listens to the orchestra as she pees.)

(help.)

This is partially why I have these questions. But the bigger reason why is because I took a shower and great thoughts and questions come when you take a shower.

Is a television show created with the simple intention to entertain the viewer somehow less than one with an overarching message?

How do you judge what is a "good" and therefore, worthwhile show and what isn't?

There is a Chinese drama that's received high ratings, but many people started questioning whether or not it deserved those ratings, because it was a simple love story between two people and wasn't particularly meaningful.

But, if the ratings are given by the audience, then shouldn't that mean that it is a good TV show?

(but then, when have the masses ever been the best judges for quality? cough produce 101 cough)

But, if public opinion is not the best judge for quality, then what is?

The opinion of experts?

(that's so pretentious.)

But also, if something is produced for free, mass consumption, shouldn't its success be measured by its reception? And shouldn't its quality, thereby, be measured by its success?

I've always had this question about books too. Like, what determines the books we read in a high school English class? Why are these particular books considered the Greats?

Why is Shakespeare so famous?

(don't brick me)

When I was in Shanghai and browsing a bookstore, I heard someone say, "Let's just come in for the AC. Most of the books are 畅销 books anyways, and not worth reading." The group she came in with agreed.

I have seen the words 畅销 before, because I watch a ridiculous amount of TV dramas derived from 畅销 books, but I never searched up the definition. Based on the person's disdainful tone and the way people talked about 畅销 books, I assumed it meant young adult, or genre fiction. Something like that?

But when I asked my cousin what it meant, she said, "Oh, it means bestseller."

And I was like. ???? What.

Evidently, readership and mass opinion have not been perceived as good judges for quality.

Fiction is judged by the usual narrative devices--plot, characterization, flow, theme, etc. But, ultimately, I think it is important to look at reception as well.

Why does a particular story and/or TV drama receive higher ratings and viewership than another? Is it the fault of the audience or of the directors/scriptwriters/actors/production company/country's censorship laws cough cough CHINA cough cough cough/etc.?

I think analyzing the narrative devices is an exciting conversation, but in media, there are more factors involved than just the author's mind.

And that isn't a conversation that you can easily have when your aunt looks over at you watching SCI: Journal of Mysterious Cases and scoffs.

(cEnSoRsHiP and LaCk Of FuNdS!!!)

(this is part of a larger discussion around genre fiction and literary fiction and literary merit that i loathe)

(but i feel like i'm in it. i'm in the part i hate omfg)

I feel like a big part of why I feel sheepish watching dramas at home is because ultimately, what you like is an indication of who you are.

Like when people say you get to know a lot about a person by looking at their bookshelf or Spotify playlist.

But, see, this is a very unidimensional way of viewing the world. All these things are indications of who you are, but not definitions of who you are.

There are multiple levels to this sort of perception. There's recognizing this is what you like, generalizing it to who you are as a person, and then making a value judgment on you about it.

(i.e. You like Harry Potter. You like genre fiction. You are shallow and have no taste in literature.)

But this process should end at step one.

Honestly, there's nothing wrong with watching trash television. Keeping Up With the Kardashians is difficult to put down once I start because I'm so intrigued by the otherworldliness of their lives. I routinely follow YouTuber drama because it's interesting and I'm nosy. Sometimes, I just want to watch two people fall in love and be dumb and cute and not get anything out of it, because life is complicated enough.

There's nothing wrong with watching trash television or a TV drama with unrealistic, poorly written characters, but I do think it's important to recognize the larger flaws of storytelling, especially when it has to do with portraying the human condition.

Media does an incredible part in shaping someone's perspective. I don't think there's anything wrong with portraying violence, rape, bullying, or suicide in television (provided there's a trigger warning), because it is an integral part of life. But, I think it is crucial, and also the social responsibility of content creators, to foster a better future through media. Media shouldn't justify or glorify these actions, but rather, acknowledge that they are negative and show the real world repercussions of them. If you are going to bring up these societal faults, you have to address them as well.

(this is easier said than done, especially when it comes to the smaller issues in life.)

Itazura Na Kiss is a drama that, in my 2020 mindset, falls behind on that standard. Not because it glorifies bullying, but because it portrays an emotionally manipulative relationship between two characters, where the girl is defined in relation to the guy, and that's that. Happily ever after.

But, Itazura Na Kiss also received incredible reception and was remade into a number of dramas and most recently, a movie. This is what concerns me. As our social consciousness evolved to respecting female characters and seeing them as more than an accessory to the male lead, how come the 2019 movie did not show that?

I can understand Itazura Na Kiss gaining traction in the past, just like how I can understand Grease being a very popular movie in the 70s and 80s despite being incredibly sexist. I struggle to understand it in 2020.

This is why I like Le Coup De Foudre. It takes all the tropes that were popular in 1990 and modernizes them so they become palatable to the 2019 audience. It creates two incredibly human and multidimensional characters and introduces them to a simulation where they meet in high school, 2006, one desk by the window.

(see, isn't it that kind of writing that's breathtaking and akin to the power of god?)

song rec: lil ghost - don’t call me davinci

#i just want to say #i am a huge fan of the yanmo/qiaoyi pairing #partly bc i think yanmo is kind of like the modern version of lwj #but also bc yanmo isn't described as super good looking so he's just very real #but also when he proposed #he literally sat by her bed when she was sleeping #and was like hey lets get our license tmr #and she didnt reply and he just nods and is like ok that's that then #isn't that adorable

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smokeybrandreviews · 5 years ago

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Cheeseburgers

The Infinity Saga is over. The MCU is moving forward into uncharted waters. Disney+ has pushed back certain shows and moved up WandaVision. Black Widow finally has a well deserved movie, postmortem. The future is wide open but, before we get on a brand new pain train, i wanted to take a look back and talk about some of my favorite movies from the first eleven years of the MCU.

Avengers: Infinity War

This movie, man, is probably peak MCU. There are better films in the series but you’ll be hard-pressed to find a film that walks the line of comic book and cinema to deftly. This is the penultimate tale for that first decade and what a f*cking climax it was. Holy sh*t! There was just so much good in this film, from character development to visual flair to legitimate stakes. I’m a massive Marvel fan and i am well aware of the Infinite Gauntlet saga in the comics but seeing this sh*t? Seeing Thanos actually Snap? I never though in a million years that would happen onscreen. And then it did. It was at that point i absolutely knew the MCU was about that life. I knew to expect the unexpected because , with the wealth of the Marvel universe to draw from, they were going to craft some motherf*ckers of stories.

Like, I f*cking cried when Pete got dusted. I shed legitimate tears and I’m not even embarrassed to say it out loud. For a film to move me like that? and it’s not Forrest Gump? Motherf*cker had to be on point, for sure. The entire theater was silent as those strings hummed and Thanos sat on his farm, smiling contently. I had never experienced that before The entire auditorium - completely silent. We were in disbelief. We were in mourning. I saw Infinity War in theaters four times and literally every time, the same thing happened. In two hours and some change, Marvel had gave a theater full of people straight emotional trauma. Your movie has to be absolutely on point for that to occur.

Speaking of Thanos, yo, how was this big ass purple grimace looking motherf*cker one of the best antagonists of film, period? How was this cat written so well? I lost my sh*t when they teased him at the end of Avengers and that little bit we got of him in Guardians was cool but i was not prepared for how goddamn formidable he turned out to be. Josh Brolin brought this character to life but the writing gave me real agency. I was flabbergasted by how great this character turned out to be. Thanos felt real. He felt flawed. He felt legitimate. Id have to put him up there with The Dark Knight Joker and Hans Landa as one of the best antagonists ever.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

I adore Spider-Man. Ive written at length about that love. He’s the reason i even picked up that Marvel comic all those years ago. I’ve seen every cinematic iteration of Webhead and i mst say, this portrayal is the truest to the source material i have ever seen. Cats get on the MCU about making him Tony Stark jr. but most people don’t understand that’s where he was going anyway. Most people don’t know that, in the comics, he’s basically Reed Richards jr. and since the MCU has no Reed, Tony is a pretty smart substitute. But that argument is inconsequential because the core of who Spider-Man is, the actual spirit of the character, has been captured so perfectly by this version of Pete, it’s borderline miraculous. I love Tobey McGuire’s take in Pete because he was the first to do it. Kind of like how i have such nostalgia for the 89 Batman. That version of Spider-Man felt like the old Lee/Ditko version from the 60s. Andrew Garfield was adequate. He didn’t get a fair shake though, mostly barbecue the writing in his run was so goddamn terrible. But this new kid? This casting was as perfect as RDJ was to Iron Man.

Tom Holland kills it as Spider-Man. His version of the character feels right. It feels modern. It feels like Ultimate Pete but grounded in the spirit of the 90s cartoon version. He’s this massive geek, this kid really, granted power in tragedy and it feels so goddamn authentic, i couldn’t believe it. The second he showed u in Civil War, i absolutely knew Underoos was about to be a star in these films and that is saying a lot considering how loaded this cast has become. Homecoming was the first film we got to see Pete stretch his legs and it was f*cking brilliant. Everything about this movie is what a great Spider-Flick should be and the MCU nailed it! if i never got another Spidey appearance, this movie was more than enough to sate my appetite. Homecoming is my second favorite MCU movie. I loved every second of it!

Also, how about that Aunt May stinger, though?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Look, i love the Dark Knight. For me, that is the pinnacle of a capeflick. That movie was a great crime thriller first, a Batflick second. Nolan approached it with a grounded sense of reality that left you, as an audience, breathless. It is one of the best films i have ever seen in my entire life and Ledger gave one of the most brilliant performances ever captured on celluloid. There is nothing as good as that film in the MCU. The Winter Soldier comes f*cking close, though. This movie made me sit up and realize that the MCU had some teeth. Until this thing came out, i thought we were going to get a bunch of flamboyant costumes and snarky Wedonisms. I wasn’t mad, mind you, Avengers was dope, but Winter Soldier took all that campy bullsh*t out back and murdered it. This movie was the MCU growing up and almost everything afterward has been brilliant. The Winter Soldier forced everyone to step their game up with how goddamn brilliant it turned out to be. I can’t say there were any performances as great as Ledger’s Joker but i can make the argument the overall writing was better than The Dark Knight, and that is stupid high praise.

Guardians of the Galaxy

This film has no right to be as good as it is. I went into this thing on a whim, mostly because I thought it was going ti be filler like Ant-Man or something, and then it wasn’t. It was great. Legitimately great. I had no idea the MCU could take a C-rate team like the goddamn Guardians and uplift them so beautifully. James Gunn took those characters and wrote the best Star Wars film since f*cking Empire and I didn’t think that was possible, not with this wayward branch of Marvel History. Seriously, if you do even a minuscule amount of research on who the Guardians are, they’re a joke. I mean, they have a f*cking talking Raccoon on the team! Gunn had the wherewithal to lean into that and he produced one of the best in the entire MCU. He took these loser clowns and injected so much emotion and humanity into them, you couldn’t help but love their rag-tag asses. This was the first MCU movie to move me to tears. That stuff about Quills mom? I felt that. Both times. On an extremely personal level. I was the young Quill. I watched my grandma, the only person who i believe loved me unconditionally up to that point, die just like Quill’s mom; Cancer and everything. I was about his age when it happened, too. That sh*t f*cked me up. To this day, i have nightmares about it. Seeing that sh*t so accurately captured in a capeflick was the most for me and I legit had to leave the theater until the first part of the movie passed. To this day, i can’t watch that scene. I can just barely make it through the Dance of to Save Th Universe, but that opening gambit? No way. It hits way too close to home for me. Still, for a comic book movie to solicit such a response? It has to be special and Guardians is one of the best.

Iron Man

Boy, we’ve come a long way since Tony Stark uttered those fateful word, “I am Iron Man.” But none of these other films would even have the opportunity to exist if he hadn't said them. Iron Man had the tall order of being the first, proper, MCU film AND compete with The Dark Knight. N one thought a film about B-List superhero, narcissistic billionaire, and straight up lush, Tony Stark, would amount to anything. How wrong everyone turned out to be. I knew, from that second i saw the teaser and concept art by Adi Granov, that Marvel was taking this sh*t crazy serious. Then there’s the casting of Robert Downey Jr. That sh*t was a boon, for real. The entire cast of this first film was impeccable but RDJ makes this movie. He IS Tony Stark. Even before he got comfortable with the character like in the later films, fresh out the box with the scripts, you can tell he knows how to bring this tinkerer to life. You had to nail that aspect in order to have any chance to build something great and Marvel hit a goddamn bullseyes, for sure. Revisiting this flick, Iron Man isn’t as good as the later films in the Infinity Saga but it still holds up against the vast majority of entries and that’s saying something.

I love these films, man. As a geek growing up reading these stories, reenacting them with their action figures, sitting glued to the television every Saturday as their cartoons aired, I never imagined id see such a berth of fantastic media brought to life on the silver screen. Seriously, some of my favorite interpretations of these characters appear exclusive in the MCU. War Machine, Thor until recently, Ant-Man, f*cking Hulk? i never gave these assholes the time of day in the comics but in the MCU? They’re fantastic! And it has everything to do with how well written they are in-universe. There are over twenty films in this run an i love all of them to varying extents. Spider-Man: Far From Home, Black Panther, Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Endgame, Thor: Ragnarok, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 all could have made this list. For sure, they’re 6 - 11 or whatever, but that speaks to the sheer depth of the MCU. I’m not even counting flicks i would consider B-tier like Captain Marvel or Avengers or Iron Man 3 or Doctor Strange; All of which are still dope in their own right.

There is just SO much great in these films and i can’t wait to see where we go next. With Disney acquiring Fox, Marvel finally has the full toy box to play with and i am absolutely a tizzy with the potential arcs they can adapt. Secret Wars? Annihilation? Age of Apocalypse? Avengers Disassembled? Dark Reign? F*cking Onslaught?? I have no idea where we are going but i am, for sure, jumping on this pain train once again.

#Marvel #MCU #Infinity Saga

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smokeybrand · 5 years ago

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Cheeseburgers

Avengers: Infinity War

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Also, how about that Aunt May stinger, though?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Guardians of the Galaxy

Iron Man

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chromsai · 6 years ago

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GX Review

I’ve finished my long, grueling trek through GX and so now it’s time for a quick review. I don’t want to make this too long because I don’t wanna continue rambling on the same points I made throughout my liveblog, so let’s get this goin’ already...

Season 1 (Episodes 1 - 52)

This beginning fourth of the show introduces us rather gently to GX’s trend of “filler” episodes, or, rather, episodes that introduce us to villains-of-the-week that serve as fodder for our protagonist (and sometimes for GX’s side cast characters). Yes, GX is that kind of show. While I’d say it’s worthy to note that not every episode or characters is exactly boring, what is boring is GX’s complete refusal to build up its own world beyond just the span of the perspective of a few characters. It’s such a shame, really, because the concept of a world which takes dueling to a whole new, professional and academic level is quite interesting but it’s not explored much this season. That being said, certain characters are fun and have interesting enough beginning development brewing up slowly, however the group of main villains introduced in the second half are almost all incompetent and lacking in any appeal to the main cast, and even less so to the audience. They’re overall forgettable, as are most of the episodes this season. It certainly doesn’t help the side cast’s appeal that the majority of the duels are dependent on Judai, the protagonist’s, victory, leading us to quickly (and appropriately) assume that even they are easily expendable. Still, there are fun moments here and there, especially when the show doesn’t take itself too seriously, which is something that GX later tries to “fix”.

Production value-wise, it’s passable in terms of animation and sound design (which admittedly gets repetitive), but not anything to write home about.

Overall rating for this arc: 2.7/5

Season 2 (Episodes 53 - 104)

Season 2 introduces a bit more of a proper overarching conflict throughout the next 50 or so episodes. We’re introduced to a cynical villain and a new rival for Judai that leads him to develop... or so we would figure. While it does indeed seem so at first that Judai is about to undergo a bit of growth, mainly Judai’s defeat to this new “rival”, Edo Phoenix, leads him to the discovery of a new archetype that he tacks onto his deck as easily as that. While this season has a bit less of the villain-of-the-week -esque episodes, it still drags along its cast to near helpless states, which Judai is expected to eventually save them from. The overall plot focuses on the main villain Saiou and his relationship with Edo, however the spotlight is stubbornly set on Judai and of course all other characters are as expendable as Judai is the protagonist, and oh boy is he ever the protagonist.

We get a bit more world building but nothing is ever expanded upon too thoroughly as all the world building we get is mostly through side-character agency, which, as you may have already noted, doesn’t ever last too long. Production value-wise, it’s about the same as Season 1. For me, the most enjoyable moments included expansion on Edo’s backstory and Hell Kaiser Ryo’s fall into the corrupted underground duels scene, but again... those moments aren’t too often. I’ll give this season a bit more points for at least keeping a consistent plot line running, even if it was marred with nonsense and irrational interactions between some of the more, in my opinion, potentially interesting characters of GX’s cast.

Overall rating for this arc: 2.9/5

Season 3 (Episodes 105 - 156)

Ho boy.

Not sure how many people read my review of DM, but this arc suffers from a lot of the similar issues found in the Doma arc of that show.

I want to emphasize that up until now, the show’s central themes (about... having fun with dueling... and.... believing in your cards (?), as well as... growing up (???), destiny(?!??!???)) have not only been vague and jumbled, they’ve also been laughably weak, so when GX decided to use this season to finally “get serious” about addressing it’s “maturer” tones, you can probably guess how that played out. Hint: it plays out as well as any fanfic tagged under the “#angst #war au #self-insert” tags you’d find on the 13th page of AO3 at 3am after your 8th shot of vodka because you’ve lost control of your life, just as this show has lost control of all sense of its identity.

It’s illogical, melodramatic, dreary, predictable, and just a drag to get through. When Judai’s “friends” aren’t sucking on his poor, abused teet, then you can bet the show is doing its damnedest to appeal for you to take your turn too. It envelops him in this over-glorifying aura that just screams “look at me, I can do the development too” but then falls flat, settling on an anticlimactic plot twist that makes you question why you didn’t just skip to the last episode.

It has a few quirks here and there, I’ll give it that. A few sassy lines from a character here or there makes it a clever show, right?

Overall rating for this arc: 1.5/5

P.S. Yes, this is the season every ardent GX fan wants you to see. This is the one that makes it “worth it”. Right.

Season 4 (Episodes 157 - 180)

Just when you thought the worst is past you, your beloved GX characters have made it back to their regular daily lives, more or less, but then, suddenly, you’re enshrouded by endless DAAARRRKNESSS.

DAAAAAARRRKKKNEEESSSSS.

DAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRKKNEEESSSSSS.

*Ahem*

Judai returns as well, having developed into a much less sociable young man. He’s oh so very pleasant to be around now that he actively ignores his friends, but, of course, this is due to the traumatic experiences he went through in Season 3. He’s now a grown up. A fully fledged adult. And mature. And the show will make sure you know this. If you don’t like it, that’s your problem.

Judai withstanding, which is now extremely difficult to do for this show apparently, I can promise you that none of your favorite characters will receive proper treatment throughout this arc and only a very limited number of them will receive a proper send off. And the plot for this arc? Well. It’s pretty DARK. As in there is not a single shining fleck of light emanating from this rushed story line of a final arc.

Overall rating for this arc: 0.6/5 (I stand by my belief that 4Kids’ decision to end their dub of this show at the end of Season 3 was the correct narrative choice to make for this show).

Final Overall Rating for this show: 1.9/5.

Final thoughts: My final calculated score may seem rough but I agree with it. GX is not well written and, to be fair, that may have been due to the fact that, as the first spin-off of this anime franchise, the show’s producers seemed to have had an air of skepticism when approaching it. While I enjoyed watching it as a kid, a fresher perspective on GX didn’t bode me as well as I initially believed it would. I did enjoy some of the cast of characters, but I found their written development overall disappointing. And Judai for me could have been a likable protagonist but he ends up coming off as pretty insufferable and egotistical by the end of the show. Despite this, I think the rating I gave it reflects that there is something salvageable from it: character concepts and alternative theories of its under-developed and underutilized ideas. Nevertheless, it almost hurts me to say this because I do still see it as having been a part of my childhood, but I see now that it is no longer a show for me and I think it’s best I’ll keep it in my past.

Bonus note: Having revisited some clips of the dub, I believe it to be the more enjoyable of the two versions due to the fact that it doesn’t tend to take itself as overly serious so its themes don’t come off as disingenuous as the original version definitely does.

#sai watches gx #ygo hell challenge #i don’t wanna say much more...#yes i know the seasons have names but i don't care

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comicteaparty · 6 years ago

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June 24th-June 30th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from June 24th, 2019 to June 30th, 2019. The chat focused on Drugs & Wires by Mary Safro & Io Black.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Drugs & Wires by Mary Safro & Io Black~! (https://www.drugsandwires.fail/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until June 30th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Who do you think made the Worm and for what reason? Why does it seem to mostly be affecting Stradania and not other places? Do you think Dan’s implant can ultimately be fixed, or is he stuck forever away from VR?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. What aspect of the world’s cyberpunk setting interests you the most and why? Alternatively, what aspect are you hoping to see explored a bit more in regards to how it affects the characters?

RebelVampire

1) Gonna be a bit depressing when I say the bridge scene where Dan almost threw himself off it. Which I'm gonna spoiler tag the rest of this just as a suicide trigger warning precaution. I was 100% right there in the moment with him during that scene. Like I understood why he'd arrived at that conclusion, and it didn't come off as patronizing as I feel a lot of similar suicide scenes often do in comics. This is a man who even I felt really had nothing to live for, as sad as that is to say. Not that I wanted Dan to die, of course, but I get absolutely why he would. And then when he's saved, I liked that he is angry about it. Cause that is a dark reality I feel too many comics shy away from. And just all that gritty realism really hit me in the heart. 2) I don't know who made the worm and I don't think it matters all that much. Rather, I think the reason is more important, and the reason I think is to either kill VR or draw attention to Dan's shitty country. Which I kind of want to believe the latter, that this is somehow politically motivated. Or even if its the former, the idea is to get ppl more politically involved. That being said, I do think it's someone in Stradania who made it. As for Dan's implant being fixed, I don't think so. I don't think he'll be let off the hook that easy, and that he will continue to have to face his awful world for what it is, garbage and all.

3) Dan because he is the delicious epitome of a flawed protagonist. He's not mean, but between his drug problems, his crappy attitude towards most people, and so forth, he's got some real issues to work through. But that's great, cause at least that makes the few steps forward he's taken more satisfying. Since he's not getting those steps easy. He has to basically crawl through metaphorical lava to gain even 2 cm. 4) I really like the world's integration of VR and cybernetics. Like it's not on the level it's just there, but there's businesses around it, slang around it, and so forth. It's presented as this super ingrained culture thing, and that is super hard to play off. And it's just really well-done to see all the ways that those aspects bleed into their lives, whether the invention was intended to do so in that way or not.

Historical Jesus

I'm about to catch up. gimmy some time

RebelVampire

itll be going for the rest of the week, so theres no rush.

snuffysam

1) My favorite scene is the basement wake. It's a cool way to introduce those side characters (especially Vlad), and we were shown how our protagonist is seen through other people's eyes.

Like, we as the readers get to see Dan's struggles first-hand, but seeing the way Dan's "friends" think of him as a mindless junkie is really eye-opening

Re-reading the wake chapter made me think of something regarding question (2). Rebel, you suggested that the worm may have been made to kill VR. Could the reverse be true instead? Vlad has this speech about how the victims of the worm are martyrs, and the rest of the cast groans... but maybe he's not so far off.(edited)

My favorite character is Lin. On the surface, she's a terrible, shady person, but she's got heart where it counts! (in a trunk with a bunch of other organs)

Though I also really like Dan, for the same reasons as Rebel. He starts off in such a terrible place, and watching him take baby steps towards improvement is... honestly, uplifting, even if he does sometimes take some big steps backward.(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Do you think Dan will manage to find Eve again? If so, how might that affect him? Further, what do you think Dan’s past history is in general with his family and others that might play a role in the story?

Historical Jesus

Is the person writing this comic Russian

RebelVampire

cant speak for Io, but while not from Russia, Mary does speak Russian

Historical Jesus

SHe might have had family immigrate from Russia. This story just feels very Russian in the sense that everyone is down on their luck

But yeah. This story is freaking great!

Cryo

Hey, Mary here! I'm a Russian from Latvia, Io's German but I usually consult him on any Russian bits we have in the comic : D thanks so much for reading, loved seeing all the replies so far!

Historical Jesus

It's you

@Cryo Do you have experience with information security or bug hunting?(edited)

I mean, you sound like you REALLY understand hacker culture(edited)

Historical Jesus

ok I finished

1: Favorite scene? Hard to tell honestly. I like them all for different reasons. It's the continuum of the story I appreciate. The fact I'm always wanting to see what happens next? 2: Who made the worm. I've noticed that people who were infected had illegal copies of software. From a cybersecurity perspective, worms only work when either (A) someone finds a vulnurability that has never before been seem or (B) people don't update their shit for whatever reason. Hence why most software schedules mandatory updates. This could just be the inevitable conclusion to using pirated or older software. 3: Favorite character: Dan. I can relate to him the most. I don't do party drugs, just psycodelics.

4: Favorite aspect of cyberpunk. Historical relevance. In our past, rulers were privileged to rule because humans believed they were "ordained by God" to rule. European philosophers then said that the right to rule belongs to those who become the height of natural selection/ The premise being that there is no god and that we are "free agents" with "free will." No one is entitled to anything unless they produce something of value. This made perfect sense when manual labor was relevant and everything had to be done by hand. This includes pen and paper math. Hence why pay is exclusively based on labor value. Enter the age of technology fucked this up. Capitalism today is STUPIDLY efficient. We WHOOPED natural selections ass. We also learned that humans can't simply "change their outlook at will." Humans are mortal and are not much different than machines. The have needs and all that pesky human stuff. Some people could argue that healthier people have more free will than others, but poverty is the inevitable conclusion to this "free will" "labor value" mindset. But people think principles are sacred and set in stone. So what we are seeing is devalued labor and everyone becoming more poor and the formation of corporate oligarchies and dependences. Cyberpunk was WAY ahead of it's time in seeing this. We need to revisit this genre because I sure as shit don't want to live under a global illuminati with hard line cultural segregation.(edited)

Cryo

No, no real hacking experience here, I'm a 3d modeller by trade. We do our research when we can but our readers are a lot more technically minded than we are :p

Historical Jesus

I love 3D modeling

Attila Polyák

I'll be totally honest your work didn't really catch me at first, but I kept reading. Aaaaand dang that was a good decision. This is genuinely well made. I'm only at the end of chapter 4 but that bridge scene was great. I'm pretty sure it'll be my favourite scene but I need to read the rest first.

Historical Jesus

I have one of two options in life. Make high detailed models to sell on Gumroad or make comics. Gumroad will require constant adaptation to new software, but I already have my comic story structure fgiured out

Cryo

@Attila Polyák thanks for giving us a chance! Hope you enjoy the rest ( though chapter 5 is a lot less dramatic in comparison!)

Historical Jesus

Do you have a resolution in mind or are you just making it as you go?

Cryo

Yeah, we know where we're taking the story, but how it gets there can vary. Lots of the scenes we wrote years ago have to be tweaked or redone entirely to work

Historical Jesus

If the "free will" capitalist have their way, then we can expect the future to look very similar. Lots of poor people using lots of old tech. All software and hardware is closed sourced and locked down.The division between rich and poor will be larger than ever. Many of the zero days will be state sponsored much like they are now and they can use this to legally infect people and categorize them and use their own information against them if they ever become a threat to the state or the rich tech oligarchy

When I read this I got sense of creepy forcasting

More kids are playing with the Linux Kernal than smoking cigarettes so we might be ok

Historical Jesus

5: Favorite illustration? Anything that involved gif animations. That's not to say it should be overused but it was used at the right time

6a: Will Dan find Eve again? Probably. Since Cryo has a conceptual end in mind, I imagine she serves a key purpose in the plot. If they don't then it's likely that their actions will effect each other in some way.(edited)

6b: What is Dan's history with his parents? Let's look at who Dan is now. He's a poor drug addict who has had a dead end job. Yet he is not an overly angry person. Just depressed. He hangs around computer poetry people and other drug people. As a person who has experience with drugs, I noticed three types of people who do the dangerous drugs. At least in the US. They are... -People who have had repressive or needlessly strict parents. Thus overdoing drugs becomes associated with freedom and eventually a point of rebellion. But you can do too many of them. -People who are poor and need to sell them because they are poor. Naturally many of them do the drugs themselves so they naturally become addicted. -People who's parents are drug users themselves. The people who teach are schools will tell you it's that "people are trying to be cool" and it has nothing to do with that. Truth be told, they are hiding something. There is also a lot of dark racial history behind enhancing substances and the law and that can influence people's decision to take them, but I don't want to get into that because I don't want to get booted from this server.(edited)

Historical Jesus

Actually, @Cryo, would you be willing to give us a brief personal biography? Also, if you are, then can you tell us about your parents, what they did for a living, and the income situation you had growing up.(edited)

Why am I asking this? I think we can come up with more interesting answers about the comic if we know YOU as a person and how that influences your writing. I was able to infer that this story sounded Russian as fuck. Since the setting was Russian, I figured you were either from there or had family there

We can give more interesting answers that can help you come up with more interesting writing

RebelVampire

@Historical Jesus Your questions are getting a little personal, and while I understand the logic behind them, keep in mind we're here to discuss the comic and not the creators' personal lives.

keii4ii

Yeah... I feel even if the creators are okay with discussing it, this stuff is best left to DM

Historical Jesus

I understand. I would like to give her the choice. If she chooses not to then I understand. Biologically speaking, I think art is meant to be personal.

keii4ii

(and of course, if they don't want to discuss it, no one should pressure them about it )

RebelVampire

yeah if @Cryo wants to answer that's fine. Just for the future please keep those sorts of questions to a minimum and watch the wording on them. Cause that statement did sound overly pressure filled.

Historical Jesus

of course

keii4ii

I don't think we should be getting further into this territory?

RebelVampire

Agreed. This isn't a really appropriate topic for #week_long_bookclub, @Historical Jesus and has little to do with the comic.

Historical Jesus

I understand. I'm trying to demonstrate the the relevance and the benefits of understanding the author as a person. And again, it's her choice to choose what she discloses.

RebelVampire

And again, I get the logic. But just not appropriate for this discussion.

Historical Jesus

fair enough. I just want it to be known

I rephrased the question so it's less assertive. I apologies, I suck with social skills. Hopefully by the time she reads it, then it will be more inviting for her.

RebelVampire

thats better wording for sure, thank you.

Historical Jesus

no problem

art was definitely designed to be personal. The reason why a lot of big budget art feels bland is because it's meant for everyone and they have to not get too deep into offending people. Because it has to make money. That requires the work of a true genius. D&W is specialized and it will attract a certain group of people. Mostly people who value anonymous culture like myself. Or so I imagine.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Will Lin actually go through with her plan to get into politics? If so, do you believe she can actually make a difference? What obstacles do you think she might run into, and do you think Dan will be of any help to her?

Cryo

(i would appreciate not having to talk about my life and anyones political beliefs neither here nor in DMs, thanks for understanding)(edited)

Historical Jesus

Understood

Historical Jesus

7: Dan, primarily because he is relatable. He would interact the way I would. Not having money sucks.

Historical Jesus

8: Will in go into politics? Probably not. She strikes me as a neroatypycal character. I could be wrong though.

RebelVampire

@snuffysam If the worm was designed to improve VR, I really want to meet the person who decided that making ppl martyrs was the way to go. Cause that's some backwards thinking, imo at least XD

5) There's a lot of really great ones, but I'm kind of fond of the illustration of Dan puking up rainbows. It's this cool mix of gross, psychedelic, and not what I expected. It expressed a lot of mood somehow for something that's less grand than I usually pick. 6) I think Dan will find Eve again, if only cause from a technical perspective she was introduced super early on to not be important. However, I think meeting her again is just gonna make him feel bad about himself as he realizes how little his baby steps of improvement are. In regards to his family, just gonna be bold and say my theory: his dad is part of that political group that took control and really hates cyborgs and technology and all that. Thus they were probably not the most open-minded and rejected Dan in multiple ways both through emotional abuse and neglect.

7) I like seeing Dan and Troy right now. Everyone else in the comic is kind of...shitty towards Dan. Like i know Dan isn't the greatest person, but I would hate to be in the situation where I'm constantly being told I'm a junkie who won't amount to anything. Which I mean don't get me wrong, those are interesting interactions. But Troy? Troy is this new person whose only experience with Dan is kind of a nice if not high tension one. Troy comes with a fresh, no prior knowledge of Dan perspective, and I think that's really interesting and gonna be a good way to shed new light on Dan's more positive traits. 8) I think Lin will try to go through with it, but I think Lin is fighting a losing game. Short of stuffing the ballot, I don't think those she's trying to help will vote for her. Instead they'll just bitch and be complacent to the world around them. But on that same vain, Lin probably could just stuff the ballots to win. I umm...honeslty don't think Dan can help her in anyway. Dan is really busy helping himself to suck less at the moment. XD

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. What do you think Sandman and Fixer will find in regards to the Worm as the story continues, and what does the VR cafe Sandman has been hacking have to do with anything? How will Nate tie into this given he’s looking for Fixer?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Overall, what role do you think Troy will have within the story? Additionally, how will she get out of her situation with having no ID, money, or much in the way of people she knows?

Historical Jesus

9: The art against the web design literally looks like something we would see at Def Con

10: I image he has a lead. After all his motivation is revenge

11: it’s strength is that it's good at making people empathize with characters even if you can't relate to them

12: I don't think Troy will get out of her situation. If she comes back to the states empty handed she will be fired. It might be in her best interest to get wrapped up in finding the worm programmer

Typically speaking large scale worms are state sponsored but it's not clear how far this thing actually spreads.

RebelVampire

9) My favorite details so far have been the small things in the background. Like the random graffiti on the walls, the cracks and dilapidation of the buildings, all the small do-dads in Lin's place. Like none of that needs to be there to create a complete background, but it adds so much character to the setting and each character. So I really appreciate the extra mile taken for that. 10) I think Sandman and Fixer are gonna find that some corporation or someone high up on some food chain made it on purpose. As for the VR cafe? Honestly, I think it's a red herring and Sandman is making an excuse to target them just cause he hates them. As for Nate, I think Nate is gonna join the investigation team but also kind of serve as a negotiator between Fixer and Dan. Cause I don't think those two will get along without help.

11) I think this comic's strengths are a) the setting both visually and story wise, as it's a really strong and vivid setting. then b) Dan. It is very, very hard to write a character like Dan. There are so many things he does that could immediately make him unlikeable, what between the drugs, self destruction, and general assholeness to some of the ppl around him. but yet he is likeable. you do want to see him succeed and not suffer. yet you also still can acknowledge hes unreliable. its a great dynamic that lesser writing could not pull off. 12) I think Troy is gonna be their viewport into the corporate world. Which I think will play a role since there is a themeing here about evil corporations. Plus, she at least knows some stuff better than they do, as she already showed off at the VR cafe. But getting out of it? Nope. Shes stuck and probably gonna make another panicked call to Dan at some point. And Dan will be an angel and help again.

snuffysam

I'm going to go out on a limb here. Not only will Lin go through with running for office, she'll win. And she won't even have to stuff the ballot that much. But... I'm not sure her fight will be over there. After all, there's more than just one corrupt person in the country. I agree with you on the investigation into the Worm, @RebelVampire . I think someone up the corporate ladder is responsible. With that said, I don't think Sandman is targeting the VR cafe for nothing. I think he's trying to draw more attention to their security flaws for... some reason. I guess to get more people involved in investigating? I doubt he foresaw Troy showing up and offering to upgrade the cafe's machines though, so I that probably isn't part of his plan. I think a major part of Dan's character arc going forward will be accepting that he doesn't need Eve. Like, accepting that he doesn't need her help to get better, and that he's the only one he needs to prove his progress to.

Dan's character writing is absolutely my favorite part of this comic. In a weaker comic, I would absolutely hate how a self-destructive character like Dan is portrayed. Like, often characters with addiction/other mental health problems in fiction come off as unlikeable, or too cartoonish, or too depressingly stagnant (at least, from what I've seen in other works of fiction). But Drugs & Wires strikes a great balance where character progression isn't always linear, and isn't always positive, but it's there, and that fluidity makes you want to root for him more each chapter.

Attila Polyák

Now that I finally read all of it... 1, The bridge scene at the end of chapter 4, that was really done. 2, Dan's implant... I'm pretty sure it can be fixed, but I have doubts if Dan will ever have the resources to have it fixed. As a matter of fact I feel like he'll never have the money or influence to have it fixed and the way it is he can't really replace it either, so... He's probably stuck without VR. 3, Lin! She's awesome! 4, Probably the grey market implant dealers, even though that's kinda bog standard cyberpunk stuff. :) 6, Yes, they will probably meet again. And yes, I do feel like we'll need to see more of Dan't past history especially about how he got involved in... well in everything that's his current life. 7, Nagy, as surreally odd, is a great addition to Dan. Like at times I thought his absurdity would actually help Dan. 8, Ofc she will, you don't forge that much "voter trust" for nothing. And Dan, tho probably seemingly unwillingly, will likely help her one way or another.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you think Dan will ever be able to kick his drug habit, or will he continue to fall back into it forever? How will this affect his relationships? Further, how will his habits shape his future role in the story?

RebelVampire

13) I'm looking forward to getting more info about the worm. Cause right now I dont feel any more knowledgeable than I did at the start, and I'm itching to see Sandman, Fixer, or Dan to somehow get a bigger clue to what's going on. 14) I think both will apply. In that Dan will kick the habit eventually but will always be at risk because addiction is not really something you just completely cure. It's a battle he'll have for his entire life, even if he learns to manage it. As for for his relationships, I don't think it'll have much affect, tbh. Maybe things with Lin will improve, maybe Eve. But everyone else is kind of a jerk who already writes him off. Dan is in need of a fresh start somewhere far away.

Historical Jesus

13: Same here. I would like to know more about the worm. I hope that Cyro puts a cool technical characteristic into the worms behavior so that creates interesting and unique challenges for the characters 14: Statistically speaking most people do not kick their drug habit's. Especially not in the position he is in. Based on the story's cultural nature, I doubt the ending will be happy. But I am sure it will be interesting

Cryo

Thanks so much for picking and reading our comic this week! I've had a great time reading all the replies, especially since we don't hear from new readers often, and it's gonna come in handy when we get back into writing more stuff for the comic.

snuffysam

I had a great time reading it, Cryo!

Io.Black

Just wanted to add my own thanks to everybody who took the time to read and comment this past week. As a writer, it’s always incredibly valuable to get a sense of what people are taking away from your work, as well as where they think it’s headed.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Drugs & Wires this week! Please also give a special thank you to Mary Safro & Io Black for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Drugs & Wires, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.drugsandwires.fail/

Drugs & Wires’ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/drugsandwires

Drugs & Wires’ Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/Cryodraws

Drugs & Wires’ Merch: https://www.hellovoid.online/

Safro’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/marysafroart

Io Black’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/b_iologic

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