#<- ive been using that tag as a warning let me know if you'd like it tagged as anything else

[lisalamona]

𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 - IV

Chapter IV: Open Arms

. Summary: Despite your brother's insistence, you stubbornly decided to join him and his men in the war. Now, are you prepared to face the consequences of your actions? . Pairing: Various x Fem! Reader (platonic) . Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, death, trauma, and other sensitive content. . Notes: I'm starting to upload this story here on tumblr, I am really sorry for clogging the tags.

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Masterlist

The forest around you felt almost enchanted, the air rich with the scent of damp earth and something faintly sweet from the glowing fruits hanging from the trees. The dim rays of the setting sun filtered through the canopy, casting soft, golden light that danced with the faint bioluminescence of the undergrowth. Your torch, lit not long ago, flickered gently, its warm light blending with the natural glow of the forest. It was a scene that should have felt peaceful—almost dreamlike. But the tension in Odysseus's posture told an entirely different story.

The three of you walked in a comfortable silence, though even in the quiet, you could feel the weight pressing on him. He wasn't just tense because you were on an unknown island; his mind seemed to churn with burdens that had been piling up for years. The war—which he thanked the gods was won. What happened on that balcony back in Troy. The dwindling rations. The growing difficulty of managing his weary crew. And, though he never said it aloud, the constant, gnawing worry for your safety and wellbeing that hasn't left him since you'd all left Ithaca ten years ago.

The silence finally broke when Polites nudged a fallen branch out of the path with his foot. "Try to relax, my friend," he said, his tone light but deliberate.

Odysseus blinked, pulled abruptly from his thoughts. "Huh?"

Polites chuckled and shook his head. "I said, try to relax. I can tell you're getting nervous. Do yourself a favor and unclench before you scare the life out of the next poor animal that crosses our path."

Odysseus shot him an unamused glare. "I'm fine, Polites."

"Fine?" Polites raised an eyebrow. "If this is your version of fine, I'd hate to see you tense."

You couldn't help but smirk as you added, "Polites is right. You look like you're gearing up to fight a bear—or at least glare it into submission."

Though you couldn't exactly claim to be carefree yourself, walking alongside people you trusted with your life kept the worst of your worries at bay. The serene beauty of the forest helped, too. The shimmering plants and softly glowing fruits were a sight you'd never seen before, and you allowed yourself a moment to admire them.

Polites, however, was not letting Odysseus off the hook. "Aw, come on, Ody!" He slipped into a mock-serious tone, squaring his shoulders and furrowing his brow in exaggerated imitation. "'Hey, look at me! I'm the captain. Alright, listen up!'"

Odysseus stopped in his tracks and turned to glare at Polites. "What?"

Polites grinned. "That's what you sound like!"

Odysseus shook his head, muttering, "I don't sound like that."

You laughed, unable to resist joining in. "Oh, you absolutely do."

"I don't!" Odysseus insisted, looking genuinely offended now.

"You do," you said, smirking. "I've known you my whole life, brother. I believe I know what you sound like."

For a moment, Odysseus looked between the two of you, clearly debating whether to argue further. Then, with a dramatic sigh, he shook his head. "I'm starting to regret bringing you rwo along"

Polites clapped him on the shoulder with a grin. "You'll thank us when we make it home in one piece. And anyway, we should be celebrating! We're close, Ody. After everything we've been through, don't you think we deserve a moment to breathe?"

Odysseus glanced ahead, where the forest path seemed to open up into a clearing, the light growing brighter. For a moment, the corner of his mouth twitched upward—barely—but it was enough to hint at a smile. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Polites groaned, throwing his hands in the air.

You couldn't help but laugh as the three of you pressed on.

Polites clapped Odysseus on the shoulder as they walked. "Come on, Ody, think about it—look at everything we've been through. We've survived worse than this, haven't we? We'll survive whatever comes next too."

Odysseus didn't answer immediately, his grip tightening on the hilt of his sword as his eyes scanned the forest around them.

Polites sighed, his tone softening. "I get it. You're tired of the war and the bloodshed. We all are. But is this really how we're supposed to live? Always on edge, bracing for the next fight?" He gestured to Odysseus's hand. "The way you're gripping that sword... it's like you expect the trees to attack you." Odysseus's gaze flicked to his sword as if noticing it for the first time.

He gave him a sharp look, but Polites didn't back down. "What if, instead of taking, we focused on giving for a change? You know, showing people we trust them instead of expecting the worst all the time? Sometimes, lowering your guard is the strongest thing you can do."

You chimed in, catching onto Polites's attempt to lighten the mood. "He's right, you know. We've been given a chance to adjust, to breathe. Maybe we should take it."

Polites grinned, spreading his arms dramatically. "See? Even your sister agrees. Come on, Ody, give it a try—it's not that hard."

Odysseus huffed, shaking his head, but there was the faintest flicker of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You two are impossible."

"And you're insufferable," you shot back with a grin.

Polites laughed. "Ah, but at least we're keeping you grounded. Admit it, Captain—you'd be lost without us."

"Sure," Odysseus muttered, but his tone had lightened just enough to make the forest feel a little less heavy.

The three of you fell into another comfortable silence, the rhythmic crunch of leaves and twigs underfoot the only sound accompanying your steps. But as the glowing forest around you shifted and swayed in the dimming light, memories stirred in your mind. You glanced around, the bioluminescent flora and the gentle rustle of the trees tugging at threads of your past.

"Do you know what this reminds me of?" you said suddenly, breaking the quiet. You gestured around with a sweep of your arm, inviting them to take in the forest as you did.

Both Polites and Odysseus turned their heads toward you, their curiosity piqued. That was your signal to continue.

"Do you remember, back home, when we'd run through the forest, looking for the biggest threat we could find? Well..." You smirked, tilting your head toward Odysseus. "You would run, and we'd follow."

Odysseus raised an eyebrow, already bracing himself for the jab he could sense coming.

You rolled your eyes, the memory vivid enough to draw a chuckle. "And by 'follow,' I mean you'd never let us get anywhere close to the action. You'd be charging ahead, all brave and daring, while we were stuck five paces behind, trying to keep up."

Your smile widened at the thought, but there was no denying the exasperation that lingered even after all these years. "You've always been like that—overprotective to a fault. Back then, it was all, 'Stay here, it's too dangerous.' And now? Well... not much has changed, has it?"

You cast him a teasing glance, but there was a warmth in your tone that softened the jab. As frustrating as it had been, you couldn't ignore the fact that his protectiveness had kept you safe more times than you could count. Not that you'd ever admit it to his face.

Odysseus let out a huff, somewhere between amusement and exasperation. "Someone had to make sure you didn't get into trouble."

Polites snorted, chiming in with a grin. "Trouble? You mean like the time you nearly fell off a cliff while we were the ones actually following orders?"

"That was one time," Odysseus shot back, his tone defensive but his lips twitching with a reluctant smile.

"Or that time you almost got obliterated by that giant boar?" You added on.

Odysseus gave a half-hearted glare, though the corner of his mouth twitched as if fighting a smile. "I wasn't about to let you two get hurt. Someone had to make sure you didn't get yourselves killed."

"Uh-ha"

Odysseus sighed, shaking his head as if resigning himself to your teasing. "Somebody has to keep you alive. Clearly, it's still me."

Polites grinned, chiming in. "Oh! don't forget the stories we'd make up to explain why we came back covered in mud and scratches. 'Oh, it was a mighty beast! Twice as tall as a man!'" He mimed a dramatic stance, making you laugh harder.

Odysseus finally cracked a smile, albeit a small one. "And mother didn't believe a word of it."

"She never did," you said, shaking your head fondly. "But she still let us tell our tales anyway. I think she liked hearing them, even if she pretended to be angry."

For a moment, the three of you walked on in silence, but this time, the quiet was filled with the warmth of shared memories rather than the weight of present worries. The forest seemed less ominous, its glow a little more welcoming, as if it, too, remembered simpler times.

After what felt like hours of weaving through the dense, glowing forest, you finally stepped into a clearing. The open space was a relief after the close, tangled pathways, but your purpose remained sharp in your mind. You had been searching for signs of life, for the people who were said to inhabit this mysterious island.

Cautiously, the three of you approached the edge of the clearing, each step deliberate, your eyes scanning every shadow and flicker of light. But as you drew closer, your hope began to waver. The space was eerily quiet—too quiet. There were no signs of movement, no voices carried on the breeze, no footprints in the soft soil.

Once you were fully in the clearing, the absence of life became undeniable. Nothing. Not a single soul, nor even the faintest hint that anyone had ever set foot here.

The three of you ventured toward the center, driven by a stubborn determination to uncover something—anything. You looked around, searching for a clue, a trace, a whisper of proof that this wasn't just another dead end. But no matter how hard you looked, your efforts were fruitless.

You broke the silence first, his voice low. "Well, this is... disappointing."

"Welcome."

The word echoed through the forest, but it wasn't one voice—it was a chorus, like a hundred tiny voices speaking in perfect unison. It sent a chill down your spine. The three of you whipped around in unison toward the source of the sound, your hearts pounding.

Odysseus was the first to react. Without a word, he stepped in front of you and Polites, his protective instincts kicking in like second nature. His hand flew to the hilt of his sword, and in one smooth motion, it was free form his side, the steel glinting faintly in the glow of the forest. He held the blade steady, pointing it toward the shadows from which the voices had come.

Out of the shadows emerged tiny creatures. At first, their shapes were hard to make out, but as they stepped into the faint glow of your torch, their features became clear. They looked remarkably like cats—except they walked upright on two legs and were slightly shorter than an average feline.

Their fur was a soft, brownish-gray, blending effortlessly with the forest's earthy tones. But what stood out the most—what truly caught and held your attention—were their eyes. Vibrant violet orbs gleamed in stark contrast to their muted coats, glowing faintly as if lit from within.

The creatures gazed up at the three of you, their faces seemingly locked in curious, almost playful smiles. They appeared utterly unfazed by the sword Odysseus was still pointing in their direction, either not understanding the gesture or not caring enough to react.

Polites broke the silence first, lowering his dagger slightly and tilting his head. "Uh...what are they?"

You stared, torn between disbelief and amusement. "I... have no idea."

Odysseus, however, wasn't lowering his guard. His grip on the sword remained firm, his sharp gaze darting between the strange creatures. "They certainly don't look like a threat," you ventured, though your voice carried more curiosity than certainty.

One of the creatures took a step forward, its tiny paw-like hand raised as if in greeting. It tilted its head and smiled wider, the violet of its eyes seeming to shimmer as it chirped, "Welcome."

"Stay back." The grip on Odysseus's sword tightened, if that was even possible. The small creatures echoed his demand.

You couldn't help but crack a small smile, though you kept your distance. "They don't seem dangerous," you said, casting a quick glance at Odysseus.

His stance remained defensive. "They don't seem like anything yet," he replied. "But that doesn't mean we should trust them. We're only here for food."

"Food."

At the word, the small creatures froze, their wide, glowing eyes shimmering with a mix of wonder and recognition. Their tiny faces lit up.

You weren't sure if they fully understood what he meant, but there was no mistaking the reaction. They recognized the word, perhaps even its significance, though their excitement made it hard to discern if it was joy, curiosity, or something else entirely.

"Six hundred friends are waiting for us to show our faces," Odysseus said, his voice low and wary.

"Food," the creatures chanted in unison, their voices eerie, almost melodic. The sound echoed through the trees, sending a chill down your spine.

A few of them tried to inch closer, but they froze the moment your brother raised his sword in a clear warning. His stance was unyielding, the blade gleaming in the faint light. Odysseus's eyes darted between the creatures, his body a shield between them and you.

"Stay back," he barked, his voice sharp and commanding. "I'm warning you."

You weren't sure if Odysseus didn't understand that these creatures probably didn't comprehend a word he was saying, or if his nerves had gotten the better of him. Either way, he seemed determined to make himself clear, even if the threats fell on deaf ears.

"Food," they repeated, the word somehow more insistent this time, as though they were trying to communicate something. One of them—a smaller, fluffier one—tilted its head, its wide, glowing eyes fixed on Odysseus. Then it opened its mouth and made exaggerated chomping motions, adding a series of "num num num" sounds for emphasis.

You couldn't tell if it was mimicking some human habit or simply giving in to its own hunger at the mention of food. Either way, it was adorable.

"If we don't get back safely," Odysseus said, his voice cold and deliberate, "my men will turn this place into blazes."

"Friend, we just talked about this. Greet the words with open arms," Polites said with a smirk, nudging Odysseus, whose sword still hung tensely in his grip.

Before you could comment, you felt a soft tap against your leg. You jumped back instinctively, your heart skipping a beat, but the momentary panic gave way to relief when you looked down.

It was the fuzzy critters—small, wide-eyed, and undeniably strange, yet somehow endearing. They were holding as many fruits as their tiny paws could manage, the glowing produce piled precariously in their little arms.

One of them tilted its head up at you, its bright eyes sparkling as it chirped, "Here you go!" It extended its bundle of fruit toward you, wobbling slightly under the weight.

You crouched down, hesitating for a moment, then carefully took the fruit from its tiny paws. Its warmth and slight glow reminded you of fireflies on summer nights back in Ithaca. "Uh... thank you," you said, unsure if it understood you but hoping the gratitude came through.

"Welcome" It responded and smiled as if it was proud of itself.

Another critter shuffled forward, offering its own collection of fruit. Soon, they were all crowding around, chirping softly and depositing glowing fruit into your hands like an offering.

Polites crouched down beside you, his grin wide. "Well, would you look at that? Guess they're not so bad after all, huh?" He plucked a fruit from the pile, turning it over in his hands.

Odysseus remained tense, his sword still raised slightly. "Or they're trying to fatten us up for something worse," he muttered, though the edge in his voice was softer now.

You gave him a pointed look. "Ody, not everything in this world is out to kill us. Sometimes, a gift is just a gift."

One of the critters tugged lightly on Odysseus's tunic, holding up a single glowing fruit with tiny, insistent paws. It chirped, "Friend!"

For a moment, Odysseus stared at it, his expression unreadable. Then, with a sigh that bordered on exasperation, he lowered his sword and took the fruit gingerly from its hands. "Fine. Friend," he said, the word sounding both amused and resigned.

You smiled, holding one of the fruits up to examine it more closely. Despite everything you'd faced so far, this moment felt oddly comforting—a small, unexpected kindness in a world that had offered little of it lately.

"See? Life isn't so bad when you give it a chance," Polites said, gesturing to the glowing fruit in his hand. "Whatever comes our way, we'll get through it—just like always. It's not about where we are; it's about what we do with it. And maybe... just maybe... it starts with letting our guard down once in a while."

Odysseus didn't respond immediately. Instead, he studied the fruit in his hand, turning it over before tearing it in half. The glow from the inside was brighter now, revealing seeds that shimmered faintly, like tiny embers.

His jaw tightened. He knew this fruit.

It hit him like a blow to the chest: lotus.

His stomach sank as the weight of the realization settled over him. He glanced toward the critters, now scurrying about happily, their strange behavior suddenly making sense. If this fruit was their primary source of sustenance...

"Of course," he muttered under his breath, his voice heavy with both understanding and unease.

You noticed the change in his expression immediately. "Ody? What is it?"

"This isn't just any fruit," he said, holding up the glowing half. "It's lotus."

Polites furrowed his brow. "Lotus?"

Odysseus nodded grimly, casting another glance at the creatures, who were still blissfully unaware of the danger they posed. "The lotus will make you forget everything—your purpose, your will. You'll fall into a haze, one that never really ends. And it'll trap you here, in their world. That's what we'd get with open arms"

You looked down at the fruit now heavy in your hands. "What do we do then?"

Polites' voice cut through the silence, calm but firm. "Lotus-eaters, I'd like to show my friend that true kindness is in courage, not in surrender." He stepped forward, kneeling down once more to meet their gaze with steady eyes. "Could you show us where we might find other food? We cannot eat these. Still, we appreciate your generosity."

The Lotus-eaters' eyes flickered, unsure whether to press further or let go. You could feel the weight of their gaze, a mix of pity and curiosity. Polites' calm demeanor was a stark contrast to the wild beating of your heart.

"Cave," They said again, in perfect unison, their voices filled with a strange, almost childlike eagerness. It was as though your refusal had no weight at all to them.

But one of them, the same one that gave you the first fruit, small and trembling, clung to your leg once more. The creature looked up at you with wide, violet eyes—eyes that seemed to shimmer with a mix of fear and curiosity.

"Scary cave," It whispered, its voice barely a squeak, though the words were clear.

Polites smiled, grateful that he could show his friend that kindness still yielded results. "A cave! You're telling me there's a cave where we can feast? And where exactly do we sail to find this food-filled paradise?"

"East!" The lotus eaters pointed enthusiastically, their arms outstretched toward what you assumed was east. But one of them, still clinging to your leg, pointed in the opposite direction with surprising conviction.

"That way!" it declared, its voice a soft, almost sing-song quality. You opened your mouth, ready to correct it, but something made you pause. It was so earnest, so sure of itself, and a small part of you didn't want to burst its bubble.

For a moment, the little creature simply stared at you, its wide eyes filled with pleading innocence. Then, as if sensing your hesitation, it began to make grabby hands at you, reaching up with adorable urgency. A laugh escaped you before you could stop it.

How could you possibly resist? You reached down, scooping it up despite your better judgment. Its giggle was almost musical, and for a fleeting moment, you forgot about the confusion of their directions.

"Thank you"

"Welcome!"

Polites placed a hand on Odysseus's shoulder, his grin speaking volumes. It was a playful 'see?' that he couldn't ignore. He looked amused but also exasperated, clearly not prepared for the teasing that had taken place within a few hours with the two of you.

"'Greet the world with open arms...'" he muttered, echoing Polites' earlier words. Maybe the philosophy wasn't so far off after all.

His musings were abruptly interrupted by the familiar sensation of his mind being pulled away from his body—a sensation he had grown far too accustomed to, thanks to a certain goddess.

Polites raised an eyebrow, watching Odysseus expectantly, waiting for him to respond, but all he got in return was silence. Odysseus was staring off into the distance, his gaze blank and distant.

"He's doing it again," Polites muttered, giving your arm a friendly pat. His gesture was meant to break your attention from the little critters that were now surrounding you, their tiny hands offering little flowers.

You waved him off, a faint smile playing on your lips. "It'll pass."

Polites glanced over at the creatures with a playful look in his eyes. "Should we take one of them to help us find the cave?"

You held up the lotus-eater in your hands, its soft, dewy eyes gazing up at Polites with a shy, almost innocent smile. "I say we take this one," you said, offering it to him as though it were some kind of precious trinket.

"What are we taking?" Odysseus's voice broke the stillness, and he seemed to have snapped back to the present.

"This little guy will guide us to the cave," you replied, now showing the lotus-eater to your brother. The creature smiled up at him, completely unaware of the skepticism in Odysseus's eyes.

"...That one?" Odysseus raised an eyebrow, looking around at the other lotus-eaters nearby. Many seemed just as eager, if not more so. The one you were holding, however, didn't exactly strike him as the sharpest tool in the shed.

"We're taking this one." you said firmly, not bothering to look at Odysseus as you cradled the little creature in your arms.

[candiid-caniine]

Hey! Long time no see, i know i said id send you a fantasy i thought you'd like but now ive forgotten almost all of it, oop!

Life happened, and uh, i saw that you mentioned your libido being a bit low, which definitely is my case too (im recovering from depression, now that im okay id love to get my FULL libido back, or at least a good percentage of it) do you have any tips on that?

Also any recs of blogs writing in the same vibe as you? (same-ish kinks would be nice but im specifically looking for queer inclusive stuff!) it makes me 10x hornier than the regular video/photo porn!

Hope you're well, you pathetic little thing!

💫

hi friend!! ugh i feel you. sorry i haven't got any advice on regaining ur libido...we just let mine wax and wane as it will, though denial has been a big help in keeping it steady!

i've heard good things abt ginseng and some other herbs. obvs use at your own risk, mind that some herbal treatments can cross-interact with certain medications, remember that pre-packaged supplement pills are often unregulated and may contain toxins, and be aware that some herbal remedies work better on pw certain anatomy than others, and finally that many herbal remedies considered to increase libido are largely untested on trans folx!

finally, sorry it's taken so long to answer this ask...i'm autistic and have been cataloguing lol. i present to you a list of other blog recs under the cut, organized by general vibe! i've tried to primarily include blogs that do their own posts rather than those who primarily reblog :)

note that my headings may provide some context as to what to expect, but you read at your own risk and each blog will typically have its own trigger warnings addressed in the header/pinned. additionally, i've not tagged some of the ppl below because they prefer that "Men DNI" blogs not interact, and idk if "no cis men" qualifies ahah!

all blogs below are queer- and/or trans-inclusive, if not exclusive! there is no detrans/misgendering, at least I don't think - i don't tend to follow those blogs.

hard kinks (blood, knives, etc; includes primarily-cnc blogs):

@puppy-mommy , who also does general t4t kink content, but does state untagged hard kinks!

@visciousest is someone whose blog i scroll when i'm in a Certain Mood ahah,, i won't elaborate

@hell-hound-bites: just. fuck. would drool on his knife blade.

@snuff-fag: its username should give you fair warning as to how wild its content tends to get, so please browse responsibly.

@condor-bait is taking a break right now, and all my love is with him as he takes care of himself. he made me feel so valid and so fuckable as a young trans person learning to love myself in a new way, and i've always been too shy to tell him how much his content meant to me one-on-one (yes, despite its often-extreme themes!), and he deserves as much time as he needs to heal!

@unwillingfvckpuppy for mostly cnc and medical kinks! if you like his style, but not so much their harder content, he also has a more-tame main blog--i just mainly follow/scroll this one!

@vampvictim: top-tier cnc/intox stuff, plus some great knife/bloodplay :)

@cryptidtid is wonderful and holy shit i follow a lot of hard kink blogs lol. incredible

@cnc-pet: i have been following her for a long ass fucking time lol. they post a lot of really good cnc and stories, but you'll also find a lot of aftercare tips and advice on her blog! i really admire blogs who try to balance horny content with best practices

@dollobotomy

general kinky content:

@excessively-queer . just plain old good shit :) there's a good amt of edging and degradation.

@clouded-king was honestly one of my earlier introductions to the queer/t4t kink community on here and how fucking euphoric it can be :) he posts some hard kinks, but generally it's a balance of a lot of different kinks so read his pinned at your leisure!

@ / cottontailx : just good kinky nsft posts :)

@ / digitalpenetration: often specifically t4t which i love!!

@femmelovefemme can step on me :)

@bigothteddies: could not build this section w/o mentioning him :) they had a big influence on my fantasies for a long time!

@hazelj-xoxo: bigtime want her to cuck me. have followed her across multiple blog deletions lol

@transpidered is forever an icon!

@subspaceemo

@writefinch for great stories and text posts

edging and denial, specifically:

@6irlpet is 1 of my go-to hands-down-pants scroll sessions :)

@droolkink is my inspiration!

@flustersluts does exactly what the name implies lol. a good helping of other kink content too :)

@puppycvnt is a 10/10!

@barkwoofbarkwoofbark: we r denial friends imo!!

@strawbrrysub

@blyssful-abyss

@urhighnessbitch is a big fav <3

non-detrans genderplay:

@butchviolence does amazing butch supremacy stuff and i,,, fucking hell. even just seeing their username puts me in a Particular state of mind ahah. they also post hard kinks so be aware as you proceed!

@mtfdomme: i literally just reblogged from her today lol. tbh i want to be their little stupid pupthing. it's not all transfem supremacy undertones/overtones, but that's what i mainly follow her for, plus just general t4t goodness! also, their general personality? and the way she shuts down people who disrespect their boundaries? huge inspiration for me!

@cuntboydestroyer: take me to the animal shelter and neuter me. good lord.

@the-kind-of-dame is the main inspiration for my recent genderplay post lol

@terfbreaking-tgirl (be warned of dykebreaking if that's an issue for you)

@barbarian-lesbian is my other inspiration for the recent genderplay post

@superiorineveryway

weird asf (/complimentary; my favorite type of shit. robots, ND-focused posts, etc):

@specksizedgoddess has introduced me to things i didn't know, like...existed, and that's saying a lot as one of my special interests is kink! never knew how down bad i was to be a tiny buggirl, nor how much i wanted to be someone's stupid little robot... BIG tw tho: there is snuff and gore content here, so proceed with caution if you don't wanna see that!

@sapphling fucked me up real good with some bird!sub bondage posts awhile back lol

@nobelisha: found them through their ghost cnc post so that's why they're in this category ahah! they don't have a pinned so proceed w awareness :)

@devout-cleric: hierophilia/religion kink, and i'm something of an acolyte of hers :) if you've read this far down you may as well know i'm her Little Lamb anon lol

piss/omo:

@latenightomo

@pissheartmybeloved - their URL makes me crack up every time, plus good content!

@hold-it-a-little-longer - good scenarios/imagines!

@ohmyrashi - (i think) my original intro to omo!

monsterfucking/terato:

@septimus-moonlight was my first real introduction to trans-positive terato and i've never settled for half-fun cis-oriented terato ever since :) mind tags!

@eggedbellies as well!

@bredpun doesn't appear to be active lately but still good for a scroll!

@steamandcream

@of-mutts-and-men

[indndwnshead]

Amalgamation: Part IV - When you meet... Jimin

Pairing: Min Yoongi x (f) Reader

Chapter tags: developing relationship, meeting the bro, jimin dancing cause he misses performing for army :)

Series summary:

Now that you are a permanent fixture in Min Yoongi's life, it's inevitable that you meet the rest of BTS.

Each encounter with the rest of the group becomes a unique thread in the tapestry of life, gradually integrating disparate elements into a harmonious whole and seamlessly weaving into the fabric of your joined world.

A/N at the end to avoid spoiling the story! Let's be friends and stan Yoongi together on twitter @itsdndwn 💜💜

---

Masterlist. Previous Chapter. Next Chapter.

Also read on: AO3

---

You were hanging out late into the night at Yoongi's studio. With a new drama shoot beginning, you rarely had time to hang out during the day. This late-night hangout was perfect for both of you, as Yoongi had also started working late to finish producing songs for the new album.

In the middle of the night, you wanted to go to the bathroom and stretch your stiff legs. You tapped Yoongi softly on the shoulder and let him know that you'd be back soon. He was too preoccupied and only hummed in response. You smiled fondly at him, admiring his dedication.

The staff had already become accustomed to your presence in the building. Initially, your frequent visits might have caused some raised eyebrows, but everyone was discreet and professional. Nobody had let any information slip to outsiders about just how much time you'd been spending with Yoongi or about your new relationship. It was almost like a well-kept secret within the building, which allowed you both to enjoy your time together in peace.

As you took the longer route back from the bathroom, you could hear music from one of the practice rooms – the one Yoongi had mentioned that his members liked to practice in. Since all the staff had already gone home at this late hour, you were curious about who might be using that room. The door was slightly ajar, so you decided to take a peek.

Inside, you found a man practicing his dance moves with a captivating passion that was hard to miss. It was Park Jimin and the song he was dancing to was ‘Butterfly’. Jimin's incredible skills and the passion he poured into each move left you in awe. Each movement seemed to portray his emotion that fit perfectly with the song, the fear of losing something you held dear.

At the end of the song, Jimin turned to face you with a playful smile, twirling his finger through the air as he said, "I caught a little birdie spying on me."

Startled, you didn't expect him to notice you quietly admiring his dancing. "Sorry," you replied, "I passed by the room, not expecting anyone to be here, and got captivated by your dance instead."

Jimin smiled, his interest piqued. "I haven't seen you around. Are you new?"

You laughed and answered, "Something like that." Technically, it wasn't a lie, as you were a relatively new addition to the situation, attached to Yoongi's presence.

Jimin continued with a flirtatious smile, "Would you like a private dance lesson, my dear?"

Desperate for a good stretch, you decided to take him up on the offer, but you quickly warned him about your lack of dancing skills. "Fair warning, I'm not a good dancer," you admitted.

"Nonsense," he dismissed your worries with a confident smile, "With me teaching you, you'll master the routine in no time."

Jimin proceeded to show you some of the dance steps for 'Butterfly', displaying incredible patience and dedication as a teacher. He guided you through the moves, dancing alongside you, mirroring the steps, and providing gentle corrections with a warm smile.

Time seemed to slip away as you got lost in the dance. Unbeknownst to you, Yoongi had become concerned about your prolonged absence and began searching for you. Imagine his surprise when he found you trying to master the dance routine to ‘Butterfly’ with none other than Park Jimin.

Yoongi stayed quiet for a moment, allowing you and Jimin to finish dancing to the first few bars of the song. When you completed the last step, Jimin paused the music and turned to you with a triumphant smile. "See, I'm an excellent teacher," he boasted.

You couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks, Jimin-ssi," you said, grateful for the impromptu dance lesson and the warm welcome you'd received from the talented dancer.

Yoongi knocked on the mirror, signaling his presence. You and Jimin turned to face him in surprise, not expecting to see Yoongi there. Jimin's face lit up with excitement as he sprinted over to greet his hyung, and the two of them exchanged enthusiastic greetings. 

Yoongi turned to Jimin with a critical look. "Jimin, why are you still here so late at night? We have a group practice tomorrow morning, you need to rest."

Jimin rolled his eyes at his hyung. "Says the one who had been working late all week."

Yoongi grunted in agreement. "Well, we all should head back soon then.” He playfully nods toward you. ”Ah, but I see you've been busy."

Jimin's eyes widened with excitement as he remembered your presence in the room. "Right! Hyung, this is... um..." He hesitated as he realized he didn't know your name. "I'm sorry, I never asked for your name."

"It's okay," you said with a laugh, "I'm _____. Nice to meet you, Jimin-ssi.”

Jimin seemed relieved by your introduction and turned back to Yoongi to present you. "Hyung, this is _____."

Yoongi wore an amused smile as he replied, "Oh, I know."

Jimin's curiosity peaked. "Oh, you've seen her around?"

Yoongi couldn't help but slyly play along, "You can say that."

You felt your cheeks flush as Yoongi's words and the sly smile he shot your way made your heart race. Jimin, on the other hand, was now thoroughly perplexed. He stared intensely at you, trying to remember how you knew his hyung.

After a brief but intense moment, Jimin concluded, "You’re the actress in Hyung’s drama! That’s why you look so familiar!” Jimin grinned, satisfied with his conclusion. Seconds later, his grin dropped, replaced with a frown of confusion. “But why are you here in the middle of the-” Jimin trailed off.

He looked back and forth between the two of you, his mind racing to connect the dots.

“OH!” He exclaimed, a look of realization crossing his face. "Bagelandwine?”

He was met with your playful confirmation, "The one and only," and your shared laughter.

“Yahhhhh! Hyung, how could you hide this lovely face behind a book?” Jimin playfully scolded Yoongi, referring to a recent Instagram post on Yoongi's private account.

Yoongi chuckled good-naturedly in response. The three of you continued to converse naturally. Jimin expressed his excitement for your new relationship. You and Jimin discovered that you both are in talks to work with the same fashion house.

“You know, you guys just made me 100 dollars richer. And more importantly, the right to gloat for the next couple of months at least. So, thanks!” Jimin said with a sly smile.

You raised your eyebrow at his words. He basically confessed that he had placed a bet on you being Yoongi’s girlfriend.

Yoongi chuckled. “What did you bet on, exactly Jimin-ah?”

“Where’s the fun if I tell you now? This is only one part of it,” Jimin said with a wink sent your way.

You chuckled at his tone, not taking his words too seriously. Jimin was known for his playful banter. You and Yoongi soon part ways with Jimin. The older man playfully threatened to drag the younger back to his apartment if he didn’t stop practicing soon.

As you and Yoongi made your way back to his studio to get your belongings, he couldn't help but express his surprise. He took your hand and twirled you gently, saying, "I didn't know you were quite the dancer."

You playfully scoffed, "Please, if not for Jimin's perfectionist traits, I'd be flapping around like a fish out of water."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad.” Yoongi laughed and then grinned mischievously, ”You know, if you ever want to learn some BTS choreography, you can just ask me. I'll show you my moves."

You smiled at the thought, "I'll hold you to that promise, Min Yoongi."

Your playful banter continued as you walked hand in hand, sharing yet another memorable moment in your relationship.

---

A/N: I can see Jimin secretly practicing, pushing himself to be 'perfect'. And the song Butterfly could be one that he'd choose because deep down he's scared he'd lose army, lose his talent, during the break🥺

[themerlinlibrary]

Favourites Friday (Nov 2023) – Self-Rec Round: We're Projecting, Babes

TML Favourites Friday round-up! November 2023 round 4 (SRR)

What is Favourites Friday? – The Basics

a different theme is announced on Friday each week; FF recs must match the theme of the week

only one FF rec per person per week/theme

FF recs must be unique within that week/theme; no double-posting the same fic for one theme!

no self-recs during regular rounds

only self-recs during self-rec rounds (last Friday of each month)

Theme for this self-rec round: "We're Projecting, Babes"!

[Elaboration on the theme: This month has been all about significant individual experiences, be it regarding queerness, neurodivergence, or mental health — well now it's time for some self-exposure; for all who have ever projected their issues or feelings on a a character (and let's be real, we all do that), show us your favourite fic you wrote with some good old projecting!]

Best Intentions by ravenwilds T, 5.2k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

The Neurodivergent Sorcerer's Guide to Graduating by Imagined T, 8.3k, Merlin/Arthur Modern with Magic AU

Useless Fool by sleepygecko G, 4.7k, Gen (?)

Overwhelm by Zaharya G, 3.1k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU; College/University

Heart Lines by PeaceHeather G, 47k, Merlin/Arthur Soulmate AU

Irrelevant by TheManTheMythTheLazy T, 1.1k, Merlin/Arthur Modern Era

ive forgotten how to dream without you by fabledfrog G, 4.2k, Gen (pre-slash Merlin/Arthur) (?)

scar crossed lovers by kirani T, 754w, Merlin/Arthur Canon Era

Santazilla's Rush-Hour Crush by Camelittle G, 3.4k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

Chase the Sun by MerlinLikeTheBird, wortvermis T, 27k, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

Not Real by elirwen G, 697w, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

5 Pick Up Lines Gwaine Tried on Merlin and 1 Merlin Tried On Arthur by Excited_Insomniac G, 2.3k, Merlin/Arthur Canon Era

The Last Night (You'll Have To Be Alone) by Glon_Morski T, 127k, Gen Post-Canon, Modern Era

Think of my love, when I'm gone by Sage_Owl T, 771w, Merlin/Arthur (?)

My Heart Beats the Tempo of You by thesongistheriver E, 24k WIP, Merlin/Arthur Modern AU

A masterlist of all round-ups can be found here (oldest to newest) or here (newest to oldest).

If you want to make sure you never miss a FF rec, or would like to participate and share your own favourites; join us on the Discord TheMerlinLibrary! Happy reading!

About the FF round-up lists:

Recs are listed in the order they were posted on the Discord; the order does not imply any sort of ranking.

The pairing given in this list is the main pairing of each respective fic – please read the tags for any possible minor or side-pairings, as well as any potential warnings or triggers.

Pairings and Eras are given as tagged in each respective fic. (?) signifies that the tags were unclear and I do not know enough about the fic to fill the gaps.

Round-ups are compiled on the weekend of the week after the respective theme of the post (when the new theme has already been anounced), to avoid omitting potentially belated FF recs.

The weekly round-up is not a guarantee! I'm running this alone, so it can only be posted for weeks when I have enough time on my hands to compile a list. If you'd like to help out, feel free to contact me on Tumblr ( @zaharya ) or Discord.

[stellarhistoria]

#STELLARHISTORIA. // affiliated, mutuals only, semi selective. multi - muse, ship, verse, fandom. // main foci: luka, alexios, wolfwood.

welcome to my blog. i'll be the scribe, kouren. ( he / they / fae )

this blog features a ton of neat muses, such as wolf.wood from tri-max & tri-stamp, clo.ud strife from FFVII:R & FF:AC, and dot.tore from gen.shin imp.act. on the flipside of things, i also roleplay a ton of original characters, such as luka highwind, alexios ambrosi, and kairos serif. if anything here interests you, please check out the following listed pages.

[ rundown of rules will be beneath the cut. ]

rules & muse selection // credits // faceclaims used. // thread tracker. ask // memes // open starters // all tags used. // carrd.

I. introduction: 

hi hello i'm sure you know at least of my exploits in the past 8 or so years of being a roleplayer. i'm practically willing to bet you've heard of my various aliases (vrai, vixi, riley, lunos/lulu, ri, solaris/sol, so on and so forth)! nonetheless... i'm 22 years old, a part time artist and graphic designer, i have schizoaffective-bipolar and c-ptsd and add, and i have an associates of science that i have a physics major, astronomy minor in that allows me to make magic cohesive and yet so fucking bizarre~ share your thoughts with a fellow fantasy and horror nerd.

II. activity & exclusivity: 

first things first, my activity on any given week, let alone day, will be extremely sporadic and i will only be responding to what a) i have muse for and b) what my mood allows for. if i'm not responding to you, it's nothing against you. it's just where my head is at, at that moment. secondly, this is a mutuals only, affiliated, and selective multimuse multifandom blog, i have so many muses man...

III. affiliates: 

the people who have muses directly tied to this blog's characters and lore are: @stellafortunae, @zodiac--muses, @breathofcosmos, @pleiadeshalo, and @constellaeinfinitum. please go give them a follow if you find interest in their characters, i assure you that you won't regret it ♥

IV. fandom association: 

while i roleplay in a vast majority of fandoms, there is very very little that i want to do with most roleplay communities, as i have been unreasonably kicked out of at least two (one due to them finding out i was not 18 [not doing smut, but was writing horror], and the other kicked me out for playing an irredeemable villain for years). the only ones i want to associate with right now are TRIGUN & KINGDOM HEARTS.

V. triggers: 

if you have any you don't want to see on my blog, please, please let me know! i'm not a mind reader!!! i will tag it or if it's possible i will avoid it. as for myself, the biggest ones that illicit strong ptsd reactions out of me are romantic cheating threads or aus, sexual assault or noncon/dubcon threads or aus, the emergency room (real or otherwise), sacrificial knives (i know they're not real but my brain fucking panics and i'm sorry), and specifically familial manipulation (that i have not been warned about). you can tag this as "mordred dont look" if you'd like.

VI. general rp rules: 

the general sentiment goes as follows . . . one, no godmodding/powerplay (aka making my character do something, unless it's a very small or implied action they'd take). two, no rushing for replies, it's not cool. three, if you want to drop a thread, tell me, because i will also tell you if i find no more interest. four, if you want to not see me on your dash anymore, hard block me. i might accidentally refollow.

VII. specific mun rules: 

one of the biggest rules is while i am a shipping whore, please don't force a ship onto me. i love pre established threads, i love family ties, i love things that have implication, i love it. but don't force it. similarly, another big rule i have is that if you don't enjoy having a lil more than occasional ooc posts, and just want a mostly roleplay area, then i am sorry, but i can't help ya.

VIII. queue / staggering posts: 

another small thing but one i should mention, is that i use the queue rather religiously. if i am particularly excited about something i will respond right away, however most of my replies, as of now (8/26/2023), are going into the queue.

IX. blog birthday: 

i may have made this blog on an impulsive whim of mine, but i fucking love it now. this blog was made on january 10th, 2023. most of these muses are those i've had anywhere from 2010 - 2023. ♥

X. credits: 

please check this google document for all of the references i have used or made myself for each of my characters (being continuously updated).

[commanderfreddy]

i never know what to Do with myself socially in these situations (im like the only person i know whos done This twice and i gotta tell you the experience does NOT help) so i just wanted to say im probably gonna go back to normal posting soon, but also occasionally be talking about the infinite abyss of loss and all the paperwork involved

the funeral's on wednesday (it's monday morning here)

if i go post jokey shit you're welcome to join in - i promise i only post shit that im willing for people to engage with (and worst case if you reply in a way thats well meaning but just doesnt click with my fucked up brain i will just ignore it and we can interact as normal later. its fine.)

and thanks everyone i havent had the energy to reply to one on one for all your love and kindness, it really does mean so much in terms of keeping the psychological lights on

[anjaelle]

White Light | Part III

Characters: Ghost!ATJ x Black Female!Reader Rating: M+ (Warnings: Death, Claustrophobia, Nyctophobia, Horror Elements [Demonic Entity]) Word Count: 2.2K Summary: Your new, dead roommate disappeared into the ether. So...now what? a/n: This chapter is a little more creepy than previous chapters. I felt like horror comes with the territory of the not-so-dead. You know? There will probably be more horror elements in the future. SIDE NOTE: Below is a playlist of songs that give a great idea of what his band sounded like in 2003. I've also included parts 1 & 2. If you'd like to be tagged in the update, please let me know. Please like, comment, and reblog!

[Part I] | [Part II] | [Part IV] [☁ Masterpost ☁] | [♫ The Crimson Zombies Mixtape ♫]

--

It'd been about three weeks since he poofed into thin air.

Not that you were really counting.

You'd just gotten used to the idea of having a ghost in your apartment only for him to just disappear without a trace in less than 24 hours. After learning that Gavin was Aaron's former bandmate, you briefly wondered if finding out Gavin's fate was his unanswered business, and why he moved onto the other side. It was a true hardship to get over the feeling of constantly being watched, and you questioned your sanity for feeling that way. Aaron's presence--before you knew he was there, obviously--never felt threatening. You could compare it to having a very clingy cat who seemed to shadow you wherever you went. Though, he swore he never watched you in the bathroom, a fact you were thankful for.

At least he was a respectful dead guy, given the circumstances.

You decided that it'd be best to move on and mark this as just one very strange initial experience in your new home. To stave off the loneliness, you decided to invite over your best friend, Kayla, for a sleepover. Between the drinking, the dancing, the movies, and the junk food, you were able to forget about the last few weeks only for a moment.

"Have you ever considered dating, again?" Kayla suddenly asked, as she sat at your feet. Your hands hesitated as you braided her hair, and you sighed before resuming the task.

"No." You responded, shortly.

She made a noise that sounded like a slightly sympathetic hum, and you nudged her with your knee.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

You playfully tugged at the braid in your hand, "That. Say what you wanna say, babe."

Kayla made a point to sigh dramatically, and pull her knees up to her chest. When she slightly rocked from side to side you rolled your eyes, dropping the completed braid down her back.

"I just..." she sighed again, and you snorted, "Don't laugh, I'm concerned about my little sister. You're in your twenties, you're beautiful, smart, funny, and you're supremely prickly."

You feigned offense, "I am NOT prickly. I'm just able to see through the romanticism of it all."

"So you say," Kayla hmphed, "You and I both know you get a little bit of a thrill out of bullying people."

As you combed your fingers through the completed braids with mousse, you smirked to yourself. She wasn't wrong. But you didn't fully see that as an inherent character flaw. Bullying could be fun sometimes.

"Maybe..." you agreed.

"Not 'maybe.'" You could almost hear her pouting. "I know things with your ex ended badly--"

"--Don't." You warned, leaning away from the woman sitting between your knees like she'd scalded you.

"I'm just saying that you were right. And I still wish you'd let me hit him with my car, but whatever. I'll ask again in a couple of months and see how you feel..." At this, you giggled. "...BUT I think you should consider dating around. Just so you can remember what it feels like to actually like someone, you know?"

"I did go on a date with someone and you know how that ended."

Kayla sucked her teeth and turned to look at you, squinting her dark brown eyes in annoyance.

"What?" You asked, fighting the growing smirk on your face.

"What?" She mimicked in a voice that sounded impressively close to yours.

Kayla, of all people, knew that dating in the modern age was trash. Who really wanted to go through the talking stage over and over again, with numerous people? As much as you hated your ex at the moment, there was a small comfort in never really having to question if he wanted to be with you. You watched your friends have tired dating experiences. And though your relationship was far from perfect, you didn't envy those who still had to search for their person.

Karma was a no good, rotten ass bitch. You refused to entertain her.

You finally tilted Kayla's head back and gave her a gentle smooch on the forehead.

"I'm okay, babe. I promise," You reassured her. "I'm okay with my solitude."

She scrunched up her nose at you--the perfect mirror of yourself, and you knew she was very much your sister.

"Gross." She chuckled.

Once Kayla finally went to bed, and you had the chance to get lost in your own thoughts, you tried to better understand what the emptiness you felt stemmed from. I couldn't have been a relationship. Despite everything that happened in the last year--and a LOT had happened--you didn't feel like you needed a partner. You simply just felt aimless.

You examined your face in the bathroom mirror, with a towel wrapped tightly around you. You focused on your grounding mechanisms to ward off the dissociation that'd been slowly creeping up on you over the last few months. There were two dark, dull eyes staring back at you.

"Ooookay." You said to yourself, shaking your shoulders out before hanging up your towel and stepping into the tub.

You mentally examined yourself: a nose, a mouth, braids with a disappointing amount of new growth. A neck, shoulders, a chest, a stomach, and legs. You were there: thinking, existing, blinking, and breathing in the minty steam rising from your shower.

The repetitive sound of the water hitting the tile walls made you zone out, briefly wondering if maybe you were just doing something wrong with life. After all, no matter what you did, you could never seem to find that much needed level of satisfaction. Maybe you were meant to be unfufilled--

"SHIT!"

You jumped at the sudden outburst, nearly braining yourself on the floor of the tub. A new shadow shifted on the other side of the curtain.

"GOD DAMN IT, AARON! FUCK!"

-x-

He had no idea where he went. One moment, he was standing beside you in your bedroom. The next, he was submerged in pure darkness. He saw nothing, he felt nothing.

He tried to call out for you, but it was as if his voice was snatched from his throat. His brain was floating in an empty space devoid of sound and light.

He tried to scream.

Nothing.

The unnatural quiet of the liminal space set his nerves on edge. It was as if his brain--or what was left of it--was trying desperately to find something to latch onto.

Aaron's consciousness felt stretched thin and compacted at the same time. He called out for you again. And again. And again.

Nothing.

That was when he felt it.

Something that watched him in the darkness. It had a thousand eyes that seemed to be stalking him from all sides, and he could almost feel the heat of its breath on the back of his neck. The thing spoke, croaking from deep inside his subconscious, and scratching at the inner corners of his mind.

Malevolus...et caedes. I hunger. I'm watching. ...you can't have her.

The thing shifted around him, and he felt its icy hand on his shoulder, nails digging into him hard enough to draw blood. It leaned in close to him, and the smell of mold and blood lingered on its mouth.

Suddenly he was in your bathroom, hands up in a defensive stance, and screaming.

"GOD DAMN IT," you screamed, "AARON! FUCK!"

He curled up in a ball, trying to get his bearings but unable to focus. He stared off into space, chest heaving, eyes wide and unfocused. He couldn't hear you calling his name. And even as you crouched in front of him in your towel, he couldn't stop staring at the thing that seemed to stare at him from the corner of your bathroom. Grinning with sharp jagged teeth and a mouth full of blood. Its eyes were black without pupils, and its face seemed to shift in the light. Then it was gone.

"Aaron?" You whispered, reaching out to him. He shrank away from you, continuing to stare at the wall where the creature had been.

"I was gone for almost a month?" He asked the following day, watching you pace back and forth in your bedroom. He shook his head, "That's...that isn't possible. I was only gone for a couple of minutes. Maybe an hour."

It killed him inside to watch you ignore him as Kayla rushed in to check on you and eventually led you to bed. He didn't want to be alone. Not when that thing was still watching him. But now that he was back, he wanted to grab you by your hands to get you to stop and look at him. He just needed to know that he wouldn't disappear again.

"I thought you'd moved onto the other side after the Ga-" you hesitated, then glanced at him cautiously and whispered, "the Gavin thing."

You both paused, almost waiting to see if he would drop off the face of the Earth. When he didn't, he let out a deep sigh and shuddered to himself.

"What happened?" You asked. When he quirked an eyebrow at you, you clarified, "What made you disappear?"

He swallowed hard and avoided your questioning gaze, choosing to stare at his hands. He was relieved to see them again, but was confused by some new scars that seemed to have appeared on his knuckles. That couldn't have been right.

"I was so angry," he confessed, "I felt white, hot rage. Rage I'd never felt before. I just...Gavin was like my brother. And Talia was the only woman I'd ever really loved. He was constantly saying that Talia was terrible, and I defended her with my life. I died angry at my best friend over her. Only for them to get married not even a year after I was put in the ground?"

When he said it aloud, he felt the heat rising up again, and he flexed his hands.

"My body wasn't even fucking cold yet." The lights flickered in the apartment, and he tried to reel himself back in. Aaron wanted to desperately squeeze the bedsheets in his fists, maybe even punch something, and was frustrated that he couldn't. "And now he's dead. Gone forever. And I can't even ask him why he did it."

He briefly wondered if Gavin was haunting some hole-in-the wall somewhere. It'd be on brand for him. Maybe he was in Hell, if that existed. That was even more on brand.

"I'm sorry." You murmured, sitting beside him, "For all of it. I'm sorry you found out this way. I'm sorry you lost your best friend--"

"I want to know how he died."

He watched you fidget with your hands and bite your inner cheek, avoiding eye contact.

"...Are you sure?"

It still hadn't even sunken in that his best friend of several years was dead, leaving behind Talia and three children. He figured it'd be better to rip the band-aid off.

"No. But tell me anyway." He wanted to reach out and hold you to let you know that he'd be okay. Instead, he offered you a small smile and shrug, hoping to reassure you that he could handle it. You still stared at him with wide, worried eyes.

"I don't know if that's a good idea."

"C'mon..."

You huffed at him, crossing your arms, "You don't know how you looked when you came back. You were terrified. You were babbling about a thing in the dark. And you were gone for almost a month over this. Who's to say you won't be gone for even LONGER next time, just because your emotions shifted?"

The mere mention of the dark made him involuntarily shudder again, and you motioned at him as if to say, "I told you so."

He decided it'd be better to concede. For now. He would ask again at a later date. He was sure you thought he was curious out of a desire to feed some morbid curiosity. He wished it was just that.

He finally coaxed you to sit beside him on your bed, and he was surprised to find that there was still a small tingle of warmth as you sat near him.

...you can't have her.

The croaking voice seemed to ring in his head as he looked at you. He didn't tell you everything. He couldn't. As long as it couldn't invade your thoughts you were safe.

At least that was the assumption he was going to make.

He spent the following nights sitting in bed next to you, keeping watch as you slept and it watched him from the darkest corner of the room.

I hunger.

He focused on the sound of your breathing, actively trying to ignore the grinning creature. As the nights wore on, it seemed to slowly vanish. Soon there was nothing.

On the eighth night of his hypervigilance, he watched as you sighed in your sleep and curled up closer to him. Your brows furrowed, and you groaned.

"You alright?" He whispered, hovering his hand over your forehead. You were burning up. He could feel you burning up. He hesitated, and then fully pressed his hand to your forehead. In turn, you instinctively grabbed his hand in your sleep, and jolted awake.

You both stared at your joined hands.

"Oh...you're ice cold." You whispered before passing out.

[tinyidle]

Hey I wanted to ask if you can do more with ateez and piss kink 👉👈 oh and BTW I love your account

ATEEZ Having a P⚠️ss Kink as Doms (in Depth)

ive been getting lots of love for my mtl that i was even asked to do the piss kink fics with other groups! this ask in particular, however, caught my attention. trust me, after this fic ill get to the other asks. but since i made the mtl and my mind has manipulated my body to clench in my pee (tmi i know lol 💀) i just had to write this.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

WARNING: pure filth lmao (aka smut), title gives the description, bladder control, tw: fluid k*nk, mentions of drinking liquids (water + alcohol), mentions of *nal, sp*nk*ng, consensual force (rough s*x, as in reader gives permission to let atz use them harshly), light bdsm (always remember boundaries folks!), nicknaming (cuz im not a "y/n" writer lol), dom!ateez, sub!reader, fem!reader, light cursing, all fiction

tags: @eclipsehye , @rap1inewhore , @fyeah-bubblekey , @xduygu-arsx , @staytinyexe , @aigokayla , @glitteryskzstraykidsdream , @amultislifeforme

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Hongjoong

you wanted to pee so fucking bad. your boyfriend made you drink 1 liter of water in the past 2 hours and then made you sit and watch netflix while he himself was checking out samples for a new song piece, just for fun. but you had to go.

"joong, i can't take it anymore. i need to use the bathroom," you said, squirming on the couch and desperately clenching so that no water droplets could come out of your system.

the aforementioned man then turned around with a sly smirk. "ah, you need to go, baby?" he then lifted himself from his computer desk and went to the couch where you sat down. he then lifted you up a bit to bring you down on his lap. "then turn around and go on me."

you widened your eyes in both shock and pleasure. the sharp burn of arousal that hit your pelvis didn't help your already expanded bladder either. when hongjoong realized that you were too stunned to move, he encouraged you by grasping onto your hips and moving you forwards and backward. "come on, baby. you can do it," he encouraged with a smile on his face.

you swiveled around and then took it upon yourself to grind against your boyfriend, finding a sweet yet sinister feeling in knowing you'd leak any time soon. when you felt yourself leaking, you started whimpering, and despite your attempts to clench, the streams kept going. "fuck, joong. im leaking," you sobbed, grinding even harder until your arousal mixed with the piss you had that pooled on your boyfriend's sweatpants.

he caressed your back through all of this. "it's okay, baby. i got you." while you shook until you calmed down, he himself had also cum in his pants. which meant your guys' clothes will have to wash immediately, he'd have to find a better way to do this without much mess, and there would need to be a shower time afterward because you pissed a lot and he came a lot.

he tucked your hair behind you ear and talked to you softly. "when we get in the shower, how about you ride me as a reward for being so good?" your libido rose up again and you moaned a 'yes', much to hongjoong's liking.

Seonghwa

nothing made seonghwa feel better than pleasing his baby, even if he didn't enjoy it much. your satisfaction above his was his motto. he knew you wanted to try pissing for pleasure, but he wanted nothing less than cleanliness. although you respected that, he still wanted to please you. so today he was going to fulfill your desires his way.

"princess, would you like to take a shower together?" seonghwa asked when you guys were getting ready for bed. you, always loving intimacy with your boyfriend, accepted with a smile.

you guys were in the shower cuddling and showering when all of a sudden you felt your taller partner kiss your left shoulder. "can i give you a bit of an extra wash?" you, liking how this is going, agreed to let him do what he wanted. he kissed your left shoulder in a silent thanks before you felt warm streams.

it kept pooling until you felt both your feet get warm by the clear liquid. you gasped when you felt seonghwa's cock grow behind your ass, his crotch rubbing against your leg. "hwa-" you quietly moaned, feeling your arousal grow in your own crotch.

"if you don't mind, doll, i'd like to finish what i started." you never nodded so fast, knees buckling, ready to be pleasured to entirety.

Yunho

you acted up just to see how your boyfriend would punish you. never in a million years have you thought he'd used one of your most dirtiest kinks against you.

"yun, i can't take it anymore," you said, squirming while leaning over the island of the kitchen you guys were hanging out at. while attempting to cook, instead you were trying not to pee all over the floor.

"fucking hold it," the tall man growled, his back to you while finishing up on the rice for lunch. unfortunately, it's been over 20 minutes and you drank way too much water prior. you ended up having an accident right where you were standing.

yunho, hearing the sound of you leaking on the floor, smirked, turned around, instructed you to take off your clothes, and rubbed your clit until you couldn't piss anymore. "my tiny little baby really couldn't take it anymore, hmm." although you were whining, you've got to admit: you were loving every second of it.

Yeosang

one time you guys tried anal, and as fun as it was and as enjoyable as it felt for you both, the lube stains on the sheets were extensive. yeosang couldn't help himself as he's just a messy man. a beautiful man, but a messy one. the line crossed when he tried to make your squirt. you let out so much that he was wondering how long it would take for his bed to fully air out. no way is he going to try pissing. on purpose, that is.

you like to drink water before bed so that your bladder can wake you up in the morning. it was obvious that you drank too much alcohol that night because of your wooziness and your boyfriend's constant hold on to your body while you were wobbling to the bedroom. trying to help you out, he gave you water to help clear your head. apparently, you drank too much of that too.

yeosang was holding onto your side until he felt something warm. shit, he thought. you were too comfortable in your sleep that you forgot to go to the bathroom. luckily he has plastic over the bed from the last sex session. he woke up, and although your hangover didn't hurt that much, you groaned due to the mess you made.

"little doll forgot to pee in the toilet," he said teasing you a bit. he didn't expect you to be aroused by his simple rhetorical question, but you in fact were very turned on. you ended up whining, which yeosang's ears caught on to very quickly. he chuckled and kissed your forehead. "you like being my messy little doll, huh? maybe after i clean up this mess we can make even more mess in the bathroom."

San

this man knew you loved to watch him do things. you loved watching him dance, him singing, him acting, him modeling, even him just breathing. but san knew something only you and he knew: you were a voyeur. you loved when your boyfriend chased his own pleasure while you watched. you especially loved it when you could help him out.

"be a good girl and get me off, then ill return the favor." you quickly went on your knees, stroking him just the way he liked. at times you'd take his dick in your mouth to egg him on, but you knew san loved being teased in order for him to properly make a mess on your body.

soon enough san warned you about his release, and you took off your shirt and shorts, just leaving your panties on. you continued jacking him off until you saw small spurts of clear liquid come from his tip. you let his streams go down on your chest, covering your boobs and almost drowning your underwear.

the short-haired man smiled while looking at you, and you looked back at him. you were now going to get the favor returned.

Mingi

you guys were fucking for about an hour now. at first you guys used protection, but then your dumb brain told mingi afterward that he could go in bare because you were on the pill. some 3 more orgasms later, you guys were sensitive yet still very horny. no way was mingi pulling out now, and no way were you going to tell him to stop.

"fuck, honey im gonna pee soon," he said, still going at near-full speed on top of you. you were being lifted forwards a bit with every thrust, and you wanted to pee as well, but you still wanted him.

"let me go on top and ride you until you have to pull out," you said, almost breathless. mingi moaned at your request and moved from on top of you and sat you down on his throbbing cock. you started bouncing, your breasts in mingi's face. he happily took them and sucked on your nipples while licking around the areola area. he was very close, so he pressed onto your bladder and lightly rubbed clit simultaneously so you could get there. "fuck!" you yelled out.

your tall boyfriend quickly lifted you off his dick and pissed on the sheets underneath you too, while you were spazzing and leaking on top of him. "you did so well for me, honey."

Wooyoung

"woo, i need to go," you said while rocking back and forth on your heels.

"go where? baby, it's raining outside." you knew your boyfriend was playing with you since he knew where you want to go to the bathroom. yet here he was, acting stupidly oblivious.

"dammit, jung wooyoung, i need to pee! let me gooooooo~" you said, now full-on dancing. you saw as the cocky man started laughing at your comprising state. he loved fucking with you as much as fucking you. he left and came back with the sheet you knew all too well. he's gonna have fun with this.

wooyoung took off all his clothes then tugged on your tank top. "i told you not to drink too much water. now you're gonna use me as your bathroom." you've done this many times before ever since he found out you were into it, but every time you still blushed. "unless you don't want to go?"

you shook your head, face still hot by the embarrassment (that honestly shouldn't be there). you took your tank and bra off, before quickly sliding off your skirt and underwear before you leaked anything. humming in approval, the dancer lay himself down on the 'designated piss cloth' and held your waist as you went on top of him. leaning forward and holding onto your boyfriend's shoulders, you slowly started grinding onto him.

wooyoung tried to chase his own pleasure, so he gripped your hips and made you rub against his dick harder. your small gasps turned into huge ones, and soon enough (with the help of the cocky man's teasingly pressing his tip to your ass) made you pee hard.

he kissed your cheek and caressed your back while waiting for your shaking to cease. "such a dirty baby. you deserve a rest, yeah?" you mumbled a small 'yes', and your boyfriend kept holding onto you.

Jongho

you were told to hold in your bladder. usually, it's easy for you, but your strong boyfriend showed that you are weak-willed when around him. he was pressing on your stomach when you guys were watching tv, made sure to leave the door open when he went to the bathroom to shower, pee, and wash his hands.

you to your disdain were going to break when jongho saw that you gave him the silent treatment. "listen here, sweetie, just because you can't go to the bathroom doesn't mean you ignore me. come here." he caught you by your hip and tugged you to him. he effortlessly lifted you up over his shoulder from the living room area to the couch where the tv was.

"no jongho, no! i was so close to winning-"

"you should have thought about that before purposefully ignoring me all day." he was right, and you knew it. you in an attempt to win his challenge ended up disregarding him, being outright rude sometimes. well, your punishment was waiting for you now. he sat down on the couch, with you over his lap. he pulled your shorts and panties down in one go. he then gave your right cheek a light tap, making you jolt due to the gentle force. "count until i feel like you've learned your lesson."

you haven't even reached 10 yet and had leaked all over your boyfriend's trousers. jongho didn't care, however, as he loved seeing you moan from the pleasurable pain, as well as having an excuse to tap that cute ass of yours. it was more like a harsh smack for you, as you felt both cheeks getting hot. once the tenth spank occurred, you cried out. "10! please jjong i can't take it anymore"

jongho gave your ass a break and lifted you onto his pissed-soaked lap to hold onto you. you sobbed in pleasure that couldn't be explained. "shh, shh, sweetie. you've done well. ill run you a bath soon and we can cuddle later, okay?" wiping the tears from your eyes, you nodded.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

i wrote this while feeling sad about my current state, but when i finished writing this felt somewhat better (probably because writing is a comfort for me). hopefully you guys are feeling 10x better than me!

if you have any asks or suggestions, let me know! i can write for more groups, but more atz asks are okay.

[rogue-durin-16]

EIGHTEEN, CRAZY (part II/?)

"Concerning Dates And Rumors I"

Summary: With her highschool experience coming to an end, Y/n finally grows tired of her parents' long lasting effort to make her the perfect girl; if they refuse to let her live her best life, she'll make them live their worst— and what can possibly be worse than having your lovely daughter mingling with Eddie Munson?

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Genre: mostly fluff/fake dating

Tags:

Eighteen, crazy: —

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @comfort-reads

Warnings: language, mentions of drugs

A/N: I'm churning out parts for this fic like it's nobody's business 💀 send help to this poor unhinged woman. Anyways, enjoy <3

Prologue Part I Part III part IV

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

"Okay," Eddie climbed into his van, where I was already waiting for him, sat in the passenger seat. "step one out of the way."

The path we had just gone across, comprising the relatively short distance from my locker to the parking lot, had been one of the most awkward situations I had ever lived.

By the looks we had received, either those who had witnessed Eddie climb up my table had spread the word faster than lightning, or the mere idea of me mingling with certain outcast was... collectively judged to be unfathomable.

Eddie phewed, giving his head a brief shake whilst starting the vehicle. "You know, I thought I was used to people looking at me funny, but damn was that intense."

"Yeah, that was absolutely no fun." I mumbled, begging my mind to free my body from the tension cramping up my muscles.

Once my belt was buckled, I gave Eddie the green light to pull out, which he did.

It took us a hot minute to break the silence —a painfully tense hot minute, may I say.

"How did I do?" Eddie's dark eyes carefully danced between me and the boring road. "Asking you out, I mean."

"Oh, amazing!" I replied with enthusiasm, eager to keep any kind of conversation going before returning to the silent awkwardness. "You exceeded my expectations, to be honest."

"I don't think I've ever exceeded anyone's expectations." He commented with a laugh. "Not in a good way, at least." After those words, a sudden way of worry seemed to cloud his gaze, forming a frown on it. "Wait- it was in a good way, right?"

"In a good way, yeah." I couldn't help but laugh at the immediate relief that took over him, tilting my head to the side.

We spent the remaining stretch left to drive alternating between chitchatting and silence, filled only with the directions I gave him. Soon enough, Eddie found himself abruptly pulling up his van before the house I had signaled as my own.

He whistled, looking out of the window in amazement. "Now, that's a house." He then turned to me, drumming his hands on the steering wheel. "Do you want me to walk you to the door or something?"

I bent forward, trying in vain to discern whether my mother waited for me by the window or not. "Not today." I shook my head in the negative, unbuckling my belt. "Gotta build up the suspense before the grand reveal." I explained, opening the door.

"Shit, Y/l/n." A surprised chuckle escaped Eddie's mouth "You'd be one hell of a writer."

"Why, thank you." He dismissed me with a wave of his hand while I got off the vehicle. Whispering a quick 'thanks for the lift' —as if I hadn't agreed on paying him for it, amongst other things—, I shut the door and, with my backpack hanging from my shoulder, I circled the van in order to rush home, only for Eddie to shout out my name.

"Y/n!" I spun around, retracing my steps until I reached the driver's window, now rolled down. "You forgot about the date thingy."

Shit.

Before I could open my mouth, Eddie himself spoke. "Arcade. I'll pick you up at 8."

"My curfew is at 8:30." I halfheartedly responded out of habit, completely forgetting that following my curfew —or rather my parents' curfew— defeated the whole purpose of my scheme.

"Even better." Eddie limited himself to respond with a troublesome tone. "later!"

With that, and after rolling up the window, he recklessly maneuvered his way out of the suburban street, and I was left at the start of the front sidewalk leading to my house, finally taking in what I had gotten myself into for the sole reason of angering my parents.

Was I actually going on a fake date with Eddie Munson past my curfew? Where did my self preservation instinct go? I didn't even hang out at my friends' places past my curfew.

I tightened the grip on the backpack's strap as I made my way to the front door with a weird feeling growing in my chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I preened in front of my mirror, trying to grasp a single thought without it entangling with another dozen.

Was this a date look? Was the lipstick too much? Should I take a jacket? Should I wait at the door? How do I greet him? Gosh, calling the situation stressful would be an understatement —and it wasn't even a real date.

My heart pounded —with... Fear? Anticipation? Anxiety? Excitement?—, threatening to leave my chest while I gave my look the final touches. Was it too late to call the whole thing off? My life wasn't all that bad; maybe a bit dull, yes, but not bad.

Thinking about it, I had made it to senior year without going through the whole high school experience, and I wasn't exactly mad about it. Why did I have to flip the switch now?

My hands had a barely noticeable shake to them while I put on my earrings.

The lipstick was too much. Wait, no, it looked good. I peeked at the alarm clock in my nightstand; 8:23.

I moved to my wardrobe to pull out a jacket, only to throw it onto the bed once I opened the window and noticed it was still hot outside.

A quick look at the mirror from the windowsill; fuck, the lipstick was definitely too much.

8:28. No time to remove it, but plenty to grab the jacket again.

No. no jacket, maybe a different shirt—

Ding-dong!

"Fuck!" Taking my handbag, I ran out of the room, practically leaping downstairs, but I was still not fast enough to the door.

EDDIE'S P. O. V.

How did I even end up in this situation? I thought to myself, driving the van to the same fancy house I had stopped by in the afternoon.

Ah, yes, because I was fucking stupid. Zero impulse control. I had found it utterly hilarious that someone like Y/n Y/l/n had willingly asked me to drag her reputation through the dirt, and then she had added money to the equation.

Even then a part of me knew that this wasn't a situation I would want to find myself into. So, what the fuck was I doing?

I stopped the van by her place and pondered what my options were. Getting out and ringing the bell, praying for her to open the door; waiting outside until 8:30 for her to exit the house; honking.

Ugh, no.

With a groan, I got out of the van, taking the keys with me. I didn't walk towards the front door just yet. In all honesty, I wasn't exactly eager to enter that kind of house, nor to make any contact with the kind of people you'd find there.

My eyes landed on my wristwatch; 8:26.

"C'mon..." I muttered, tapping my heel on the sidewalk.

The sound of a window opening made my gaze shot up at the second story. Y/n's appearance was a flash, too quick for me to call out for her.

8:29.

"Okay, fuck it." I pushed myself off the side of the van and strolled to the entrance, gathering as much courage as I could before ringing the bell.

Ding-dong!

Fuck, that was loud.

Soon enough the door was open. To my dismay, not by Y/n.

"Oh. Uhh, good evening—" I began, trying to brush off the way the short woman who had opened the door bore holes into my form.

"Who are you? And what do you want."

"Eddie!"

Never in my life would it have occurred to me that I would ever be thankful to see someone like Y/n Y/l/n at any point; yet, there I was, a relieved smile growing on my face while a visibly distressed Y/n sprinted down the stairs.

"Aunt Mary, this is Eddie. Eddie, aunt Mary. I'm going out, byee!" Words spilled from her mouth faster than I thought possible while she pushed her so-called aunt Mary aside and took my hand, stalking to the van with the woman yelling for niece to come back inside. "Openthevanopenthe vanopenthevan!" Y/n rushed me, only letting go of my hand to run around our ride.

"Okayokayokay!" I did as I was told, just in time for her to open the passenger's door. "Fucking—" I cursed, mimicking her movements in order to start the engine as soon as possible and rush off. "I thought I was meant to scare them!" I recalled, trying to calm my nerves as we drove to the arcade. "Not the other way around!"

"Aunt Mary's... A scary woman." Y/n noted, accommodating herself before pulling down the sun visor. "I forgot she was home."

I was about to ask how could she even forget someone was at her place, but then again, her house seemed as big as the trailer park.

I puffed, leaning back on my seat, stress leaving my body. Finally able to relax, I took a moment to steal a glance at Y/n, who seemed to be checking her makeup in the vanity mirror with distress.

"What's wrong?"

She winced, scrunching her nose. "The lipstick."

"What's with the lipstick?" I inquired, double checking her frame just as she rotated to face me.

Holy shit.

"I like it."

As soon as I made that comment, I limited myself to stare at the road, refusing to accept the fact that she had knocked the air out of my lungs.

"Isn't it too much?" I nonchalantly shook my head no, thanking the universe for getting us safely to the arcade, because it surely wasn't thanks to me paying attention to the road.

"I think it looks good." I reassured her, deciding to exit the van without sparing my fake date another look just yet.

"I guess I'm just not used to wearing this shade." She followed my lead; this time, it was me who had to circle our mean of transport, and by god that I wasn't ready to see how beautiful she looked.

"Wow, okay," I cleared my throat, trying to be as casual as possible about it. "You look great."

"I tried. Gotta make it believable, huh?" She smoothed her shirt before letting her eyes roam my figure. "You look really good too."

"I put on my best vest for this." I joked, offering her a hand, which she instantly took, before leading her into the arcade room. "I hope you're ready to see some friends of yours here."

"Oh, I am." She snorted, falling into step with me. "Are you?"

"I better be." I clicked my tongue, tilting my head to the side with a scorn as we ventured into Y/n's second step of the plan. "This is gonna earn me a lot of shit."

Three Days Later

READER'S P. O. V.

"Soooo," Linda leaned against the lockers, dragging the 'o' with curious eyes. "How was it?"

"Uh..." I shrugged, shutting the door after picking up my English books. "Fun? for the most part." I began walking, thinking Linda would follow my lead, but soon enough I found myself turning back to see her still against the lockers, lips pursed in a tight line. "Why the face?"

She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, tilting her head to the side in suspicion before pushing herself off her resting place. "Are you two, like, actually dating?"

I took a subtle look around before giving my best friend a nearly unnoticeable shake of my head. "Why?"

"There's a rumor running around already." She whispered, coming to me so I could resume my walk, this time with her. "I think Carol started it, but I wouldn't bet on it." Linda leaned on, keeping her eyes ahead of us, as if whatever she was about to say was forbidden. "Friday night. You and Munson. Kissing at the Arcade."

I was about to laugh and deny the lie when someone appeared in my peripheral vision, pushing Linda and me away to make room.

"Wouldn't you love to know what I heard." George singsonged with amusement.

"Surprise me."

"Rumor has it, you were stoned at the Arcade."

I came to a halt, causing both my friends to leave my behind for a second. "Excuse me?" I tried not to sound outraged, but it turned out to be a difficult task. "I would never do that willingly."

"There's another version that implies... exactly that." George hinted, making me go livid. I had certainly underestimated the gravity of the rumors that could go around.

"Are we talking about the rumors going around?" Lizzy inquired, walking to us from the Library's entrance. " 'Cause I got a good one."

"Enlighten me, please." I seethed, tightening the grip on my books.

"Did Eddie punch Lewenski?" There was certain anticipation in Liz's tone, almost like she hoped for it to be true.

"No. Why the hell would he punch—" my heart skipped a beat at the memory, and I made a mental note to check on Eddie as soon as possible. "Listen, you're gonna start hearing wild things about... This, so just remember, nothing is true until I confirm it. Understood?"

"What was that halt, though?" George questioned.

"What halt?"

"The 'why would he punch' halt." The boy tilted his head down, eyes staring at me with brows rised.

"He didn't punch anyone," I declared, pointing a menacing finger at every one of my friends. "let's get that out of the way."

The three of them stared at me in silence, with expectant eyes.

"Are you gonna tell us what really happened or...?"

I took a deep breath, my mind buzzing with both thoughts and memories. "Let's just—" I puffed, moving forward to lead our walk. "Let's just go to class."

"But what about—"

"At lunch, okay?" I nearly begged, rushing to our English classroom, as if there weren't at least ten minutes left for the lesson.

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part VI

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1567.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

________

You spent the rest of your evening like a somnambulist, barely able to concentrate on your projects before you went to bed, barely finishing half of the things you planned for today. Even the change of locks didn't make you as happy as you thought it would. It felt like something between a dream and a nightmare.

Lying in the dark, you stared at the ceiling, thinking of what happened just a couple of hours ago. Why did he do it? Was it just out of habit and didn’t mean anything? Naturally, with his appearance and easy-going attitude, he probably dated many girls and didn’t think much before kissing someone he liked.

Remembering the way he talked to you in the morning, you thought he must have pretended to be shy around you. Thor certainly wasn’t sheepish.

Was it all a sham? Was Loki right about all of them, playing their roles to get close to you? You couldn’t forget the way Thor looked the moment he told you about being smart. It was like something switched inside him, and for a second you saw the real Thor who was far from being your simple, good-natured athlete.

Why did you keep thinking about that stupid kiss even after seeing the man could be dangerous?

Aroused and angry, you tossed and turned until you fell asleep.

____________

Waking up was especially tough, despite the fact you didn't really do much yesterday, meaning you were going to spend your weekend studying. Shoot, and that's when you planned to visit that new chocolate boutique in the city. Maybe you could still make it if you spent more time studying today?

But then again, going to the city alone might be a bad idea. Even if the guys who stole your things were beaten, it didn't mean it had always been the same people following you. The school was full of weirdos, in the end. What if somebody went after you? Steve would definitely say you had to bring one of your guards with you.

Damn. It was better staying in the dorm then.

"Good morning! Are you ready?" Peter's voice broke through the silence, and you flinched, hurriedly applying some lipstick because you didn't have enough time to put your makeup properly.

Well, at least you were fully dressed.

"Just give me a second!" Picking up your bag, you put your shoes on and opened the door, looking at a young guy who's face was lit up like a Christmas tree. "Hi!"

He definitely liked what he saw, and you felt your cheeks growing hot from embarrassment. From the very start of the semester Peter acted very sweet around you, and you thought you could be friends with him. He wouldn't do something as ugly as blackmailing, would he? Thor said it too. Clearly, Steve was exaggerating.

"Did you sleep well? I've heard you changed your lock, so now it'll be better."

"Ugh, I hope so. But I still sleep with my dresser blocking the door." Sighing, started walking, afraid to look in the faces of other students, hurrying off to school.

They must have been disgusted, watching you being friendly with one guy after being all lovey-dovey with the other just yesterday. Although you didn't see anyone in particular, you were sure somebody saw Thor kissing you. And now you were walking the corridors with Peter.

"By the way, what's your Insta?"

What? Your Instagram? Whatever for? Although you had no idea why he needed it, you let him add you, by the time leaving the dorm and walking towards the main building.

Suddenly, Peter got pretty close, his arm on your waist as he lifted up his phone and hummed, "Look here and smile!"

Before you realized what he was doing, the boy kissed your temple, and you heard the sound of a photo being taken by his front-facing camera. What the Hell?!

"Peter!" Pissed at him, you quickly break free and stepped back, but he was already looking at his phone, editing the photo and posting it almost immediately.

You heard your phone buzz when he marked you on the photo.

"That's a good one. You look very cute here."

"What are you doing?!"

"Making a proof we're dating, of course?"

You were taken aback by the sincerity in his voice, and Peter smiled from ear to ear like an excited teenager, showing you the picture: it wasn't that bad, and you looked as if you were slightly embarrassed by Peter's closeness. Oh, of course. He had to convince his friends he was dating you, but he didn't kiss you on the lips that could make other people too suspicious. Instead, friends of Barnes or, say, Thor, would still think it was all for show, and it was their friend who dated you for real.

Shit, Steve's plan was incredibly complicated, and you didn't like it at all.

"Oh, alright." You mumbled, lowering your eyes to the ground, and Peter laughed.

"We'll make a TikTok dance later. If you wanna make people talk, just use your social media." He winked at you and put the phone in the pocket of his pants, resuming walking, and you moved along, your face still hot.

God, what did these guys got you into? You felt like you were lost in the middle of a play, not even having a script to read what was your role in all this.

Before you parted your ways, going to a different classrooms, Peter talked about videogames, the upcoming Resident Evil - apparently, his favorite franchise - and some Dota tournament, but you didn't know much about it, and Peter offered to show you his favorite games "because you can't spend all your time studying!"

He was as careless and sweet as always, but you couldn't get Steve's words out of your mind. Damn, if only you could know for sure that Peter didn't blackmail anyone. Who could you talk to about it? Obviously, not Peter himself, but every time he spoke you had that nagging feeling you needed to talk to him. You barely kept your mouth shut before he went to a different room.

Ugh, why didn't you transfer anywhere else when you still had a chance? Obviously, now you could only drop out of school, and it definitely wasn't something you were going to do.

Luckily, the next couple of hours you were busy with your classes, trying your best to prepare for the upcoming exams. The academy held high standards, and even though you were a good student, it still took lots of efforts to keep up the good work. How Thor even managed to get enrolled, judging by the fact he hated studying and often skipped classes?

Ah yes, he mentioned something about getting a scholarship from the academy for his success in the sport.

By the lunch time you were drained, listening to Peter chatting with an absent-mindedly epxression on your face. Funny enough, Peter's grades were better than yours, even though he spent much less time studying. What, was he some genius like Loki? You felt a little envy.

"I gotta go take my tracksuit, I have PE next," the boy said, and you nodded, throwing away the leftovers of your lunch.

As you stood close while he grabbed his sportclothes, you heard two guys talking behind the lockers to your right.

"Have you seen her today? She's with Parker!"

You tensed immediately. Of course, they were talking about you.

"Yeah, so what?"

"She was with Thor yesterday!"

Watching you froze on the spot, Peter stilled too, listening carefully. Oh shit, you hoped no one cared about who you went with - why should they, in the end - but, apparently, you were drawing too much attention simply because you were a girl among hundreds of male students.

"So what?" The other guy asked impatiently, growing tired of this conversation.

"Are you stupid? She's going out with them! I bet she's looking for a guy." The first student said with excitement, and you cringed. No, you weren't going out with anyone, you wanted to stop the weirdos from following you and steeling your things. Was it too much to ask?

"Yeah, who cares?"

"We have three fucking girls in the whole school, and you don't care if one of them could be going out with you? Besides, this one's pretty. I'd fuck her!"

You felt like you were going to puke any moment. Why on Earth did you decide to transfer to an all-boys school? It was like the whole school were a men’s room filled with stupid-ass guys, and you were locked inside, forced to listen them talk junk.

"You'd fuck a sheep, weirdo. Go get yourself a girlfriend if you can’t stop thinking with your dick.”

Laughing, the guy left, and his friend followed him, shouting something stupid while you breathed out a sigh of relief. Of course, you knew there would be some talk, but you didn’t expect it to be so... gross. Were you really gonna spend the two remaining years here?

Watching you getting frustrated, Peter gently touched you by the arm and said softly, “Don’t worry. They won’t talk rubbish about you.”

“What do you mean?” Suddenly thinking of Steve’s words, you blurted out exactly what you were thinking of the whole day, “Are you going to blackmail them with something?”

“I... what?”

Part VII

__________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi

[farfromsugafanfic]

Sutures - Chapter Two: Conjugate

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): invasions of privacy

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

Notes: This was originally written and completed on Wattpad between 2018 and the beginning of 2020. I’ll be slowly posting the chapters here. I may make a tag list depending on if enough people want to follow along with updates. Leave me some feedback if you would like added to a tag list.

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You sighed as the nurse pulled the IV out of your arm. The muscles in your body relaxing for the first time in hours.

"There we are," the nurse said. "Looks like you'll be out of here in a few hours. Just make sure not to get too far from that man of yours."

You smiled up at her, not wanting to explain that he wasn't your man and that you'd only just learned his name from a news broadcast a few hours ago. When Eunji had texted you that he was an idol, you'd thought she was joking. She was drunk after all and probably would've called any guy flirting with you an idol.

"This is crazy," Eunji said. "What're you going to do?"

"I don't know," you said. "I guess I'll have to contact him somehow."

"Did you get his number?"

"No, we never intended to see each other again."

"Well, he's looking for you."

---

"Jang Sumi?" a man asked, knocking politely as he entered.

"Yes?"

He bowed politely as he entered.

"I'm Bang Sihyuk, CEO of BigHit Entertainment," he said.

Your eyes grew wide and you immediately bowed, feeling slightly embarrassed you hadn't recognized him and done so before.

"We would like to discuss a proposal with you. If you'd please sit down," he said, pointing to the newly made hospital bed.

You sat down and the man sat down in the chair Eunji sat when you first awoke. "We have reason to believe you are Min Yoongi's soulmate. I'm sure the doctors have already explained that this means the two of you must remain near each other."

You nodded.

"In order to protect his career, we would like you to move into the BTS dorm. We will pay you and compensate you for any trouble."

"What about my career?" you asked.

The man nodded, his shoulders relaxing as if he'd expected you to question him.

"We've done our research and you're an English tutor? You can continue online sessions and do occasional in-person sessions away from the dorm. We don't want to take away your livelihood by any means. We want to protect both of you."

Your mind overflowed with thoughts. You'd be living with seven guys. Seven idols. Would girls get jealous? Would their fans even know? You had too many questions for the man to possibly answer.

You could certainly use the extra money and without having to pay rent, it would allow you to begin saving money. Something you'd wanted since you'd moved out.

You'd have to work less though, but you were sure the compensation that BigHit offered would be more than enough to make up for the fewer hours.

"All right," you said. "As long as I can keep my job, I agree."

---

"Boys, this is Jang Sumi," Bang PD said.

You bowed to the seven boys in front of you, secretly wishing the much more charming Eunji hadn't gone home. Even though it was obvious they had rushed to the hospital based on the various array of sweatpants and messy hair, they all still looked gorgeous.

The boys bowed back and their gazes wandered down to your neck, their eyes wide. You hadn't noticed the bruises there from the night before. You shyly broke eye contact and looked over to Yoongi who sat with his feet dangling off the hospital bed.

You met his dark eyes. Instead of the mysterious and hungry look they'd held the night before, they now looked exhausted and slightly annoyed. His gaze left yours momentarily as his eyes looked down at the bruises on your neck. His face remained expressionless except for a small flick of his tongue between his lips.

"The doctors need to run a few more tests and talk with Yoongi and Sumi," Bang PD said. "We should leave them alone"

The six other boys filed out of the room and you took a seat on the bed next to Yoongi, leaving a large space between you, so that it would be nearly impossible to accidentally brush against one another.

"Hi," you said. "So, it's been an interesting day, huh?"

The boy didn't respond and before you could make more futile attempts to fill the silence two doctors walked into the room.

"Min Yoongi and Jang Sumi?"

You both nodded and bowed.

"All right, I know this is all a bit overwhelming right now, but once we all discuss and decide on the various options, I'm sure you'll feel better." The doctor flipped a few pages on his clipboard before looking back up at you. "So, as you both know, this is still a fairly rare condition. Finding one's soulmate and having it cause heart attack like symptoms is not well understood. Due to this, we request at least monthly check-ups for at least the first year for both of you to ensure your heart is okay and to check your overall health. The rest depends on how the two of you choose to proceed. Are you two currently in a relationship?"

"No," you both answered.

The doctor nodded.

"The easiest and best way to proceed is to attempt a relationship. While it might be awkward at first, for your overall general health, it will be the best way to adjust and will allow the withdrawals to be less frequent and violent in the future. If--"

"No," Yoongi said. "We can't do a relationship."

"What do you mean?" you asked, your head whipping around to face him. The last thing you wanted was to be in a relationship with a man you barely knew, especially the day after you'd officially ended it with your ex. But if the doctors said it was the best way to deal with the situation, you were inclined to listen.

"It's for both of our own good," he said. "You have no idea what a relationship with an idol would be like."

"Well, there are other options," the doctor said, glancing between the two of you. "If you truly don't want to be together, we can work on trying to weaken or even sever the connection between you. It is rare and difficult to do, but it has been achieved. You will have to stay in the same building as the other person most of the time. There do seem to be some exceptions such as work or situations where the other absolutely can't be present. However, at first, these withdrawals will be powerful and you may not be able to leave the building without the other person at all. For the first week, we suggest not doing so.

"In order to attempt to sever the connection, we will have to monitor your mental health and work to keep the relationship on track. While you don't have to remain distant from each other, it is important to not have feelings for each other, or else it will not work. You will have monthly or bi-weekly appointments with a psychiatrist who is trained to work with cases like this.

"You will also experience something we like to call urges. These are instances of extreme attraction to one another. It will be extremely difficult to be apart from each other during these times. It is important that you be together in these times, but if you are choosing not to pursue a relationship, you must do your best to resist the attraction."

After the doctor was done explaining everything and had recorded your decision to attempt and sever the connection, they drew blood from both of you and allowed you to leave.

---

You'd spent the rest of the day packing. Your things were going to be confined mostly to one room, meaning you had to downsize and choose what was most important to you.

You heard a knock on the door and before you could answer it, it was already open and Eunji and the entirety of BTS came through your door.

"Sorry if I scared you," Eunji said. "I let them in."

"Sumi," the tallest one said. He was the leader, Kim Namjoon, according to Google. You figured you should at least try to learn your new roommates. He introduced himself and the rest of the boys, other than Yoongi. "We decided to help you pack up before the movers get here. I'm sure it's quite overwhelming to have to move all of a sudden."

"Yes," you said. "This is very sweet. I guess, um, you could help clean up a bit? I haven't had a chance to clean the kitchen since I got home. And, maybe someone else wouldn't mind getting dinner?"

"No problem," Namjoon said, motioning to the members.

"I'll be in my bedroom if you have any questions or need me for anything."

Eunji was already bonding with the younger members of the band and showed them where all of the cleaning supplies were kept. You smiled at her ability to make friends quickly and headed back to your bedroom.

Your suitcase laid open on your bed as you sorted through your clothes, trying to decide what to keep. You'd already packed the essentials, the rest of your closet spread out around the suitcase.

You felt something soft beneath your foot. You bent down and picked up the fabric, recognizing it as the dress you'd worn out the night before. You hated to leave it behind it, but you weren't sure you would need such a nice dress again. And if you did, you could just borrow one of Eunji's. You folded the dress and were attempting to make a decision when a knock sounded on your door.

"Come in."

The door opened and Yoongi walked in. He wore a beanie, a sweatshirt, and a pair of jeans. You almost liked the more casual look on him more than the slightly more dressed up look he'd worn when you first met. You weren't sure if you truly liked it better or if it was just the connection between you talking.

"Sorry to intrude," he said. "I was just wondering if you needed any more help? The rest of the boys pretty much have it handled out there."

You tried to put aside the resentment you felt for the boy from earlier in the day when he so bluntly decided not to follow the best option and try the relationship.

"You can pack up my knitting stuff," you said pointing over to your desk in the corner where you kept yarn, knitting needles, and the various guides. "Just be careful not to tangle the different yarns together."

He nodded and grabbed an empty box and carefully placing each skein in the box. You turned back to the dress in your hands. You fingered the soft fabric and sighed as you went to set aside. Before you could set the dress with the rest of your discarded clothes, you felt a hand take it from you. You looked up at Yoongi, who held the dress and placed it into the suitcase.

"It looks good on you."

---

"You like to knit?" Yoongi asked, a few minutes later.

"Yeah," you said. "It calms me down when I'm stressed."

He nodded as he placed the rest of the items from the desk into the box.

"Sumi!" someone called from the hallway.

"What do you want us to do with this?" one of the boys asked, you believed his name was Jimin, followed by a blond-haired boy, Taehyung. Jimin dangled your stuffed cat in the air, a smirk across his face.

"Hey!" you said. "Don't hold Kitty that way!"

The boy laughed as you snatched the stuffed animal from him. One of Kitty's button eyes was loose and dangled slightly, causing her eyes to look uneven.

"You named it Kitty?" Jimin asked laughing.

Eunji came into the room. She seemed slightly annoyed with the two boys who had run off from their duties.

"I was four!" you said, looking down at the stuffed cat. "Besides, it's an English name!"

"All right, all right," Jimin said, relenting his taunts. "Do you want to take Kitty or not?"

You made eye contact with Eunji who's eyes were wide. She knew what Kitty meant to you, but Kitty was also falling apart. Her eye was the least of her trouble, you'd sewed the majority of her seams back together multiple times. You didn't want to risk Kitty getting lost or falling apart altogether. You knew it was time to let her go.

"She is pretty old and I'm getting too old for toys anyway. Um, I guess put her in with the donation pile." You handed the stuffed animal back to Jimin who took it and hesitantly walked from the room.

You felt tears pricking at your eyes, but you held them back and went back to sorting through your clothes. The task felt harder all of a sudden, but eventually, you finished, zipping up the suitcase.

---

It was late by the time you arrived at the dorm. It was huge, the biggest apartment you'd ever seen. It was surprisingly clean for being inhabited by seven boys, but you figured they were just too busy to cause much of a mess.

The extra bedroom they'd been using as storage was already clear for you. You made your bed and then opened your suitcase and began emptying it into the dresser.

"Need some help?" Namjoon asked, standing in the doorway.

You smiled at the boy as he began sorting your clothes, making it easier for you to put away.

"Thank you," you said. "I'm exhausted and I'm honestly dreading the rest of the boxes getting here tomorrow."

He nodded.

"We've moved a lot," he said. "Sometimes I feel more tired after moving than dance practice."

You both laughed lightly.

"They told me you're an English tutor?"

"Yeah," you said.

"It'll be nice having someone else who can speak English."

"None of the other boys can?"

He shook his head.

"No, they all understand a little. But none of them are fluent."

"We'll have to change that then," you said, laughing.

"How'd you learn it?"

"My mom grew up in the US. Her parents were from here but moved to the US when my mom was a baby. She met my dad when she was here visiting family and she ended up moving when they got married. So, I grew up speaking both Korean and English. My parents recently moved to the US actually, to be closer to my grandparents."

"Wow," he said. "That's a better story than mine. I just watched Friends."

You laughed.

"That's more impressive though. You taught yourself. I kind of just learned it the same time I learned Korean."

You felt some of the nerves you'd felt coming into the dorm beginning to leave you. While you were sure it would talk longer for you to adjust, the boys had all tried to be as helpful and welcoming as possible. Even Yoongi. Despite the fact he'd barely talked to you, he still helped pack up your apartment.

"Sumi," you heard another voice say. You turned around and saw Yoongi standing in the doorway, his eyes focused on his phone. "We have a problem."

"What?" you asked, your eyebrows knitting together.

"Someone found your shoes."

"My shoes? You mean, the ones I left at the bar last night?"

Yoongi nodded.

"Someone is selling them online. They're using the connection to me to get attention. The bidding ends tomorrow."

You grabbed onto the dresser and tried to steady yourself. You'd expected something like this to happen eventually, but just twenty four hours after you'd even met Min Yoongi?

You heard Namjoon say something to Yoongi, but you didn't catch what it was. You felt a hand on your shoulder and saw the leader looking straight at you.

"We're going to get this figured out."

All you could do was nod.

[alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom]

Chapter VI: Blurry truth

This moodboard is just woww! Thank you to the moodboard-goddess @flowers-in-your-hayr.

a/n: This is the last and also the longest chapter.I want to thank everyone who read, liked and reblogged Hidden Desires. It was my first time writing and I really enjoyed it. THANK YOU so much for the great feedback, that motivates me a lot.

Pairing: ALEX x Reader x MARCO

Spotify: Kiana Ledé & Jacquees- Only Fan

Words: 5541 (omg, I hope you read it anyway haha)

Warnings: fluff, jealousy, smut & dom/sub in the middle, again fluff and a lot of sadness in the end.

Tags: @heavenly1927 @ivarhoegh

Chapter I - Chapter II - Chapter III - Chapter IV - Chapter V

Summary:

Marco disappoints you again, Alex takes advantage of the situation and you doubt if you really know them. Will you give them another chance or leave Denmark forever?

You had your last day of work before your holidays and could leave earlier. You were very happy because you knew that the boys would also have free time the next week. You were hoping for a trip through Denmark.

You nervous and opened the apartment door, excited about their reactions.

"Hej, surprise, surprise, I'm at home." You said almosr singing it. You immediately noticed the beautifully set table. The white candles and gold-colored cutlery sprayed a romantic touch. The boys are usually very simple and plain, so this creativity really impressed you.

"Elskede, how nice that you are already here." Alex came out of his room. He always kissed you so soulfully, even when the kisses were short. You hugged him and put your arms around his neck and looked into his blue eyes, which enchanted you every time. He pressed your hip against his and rocked you slightly.

"I missed you. The table is so nicely decorated...-” You started but were interrupted.

"Hey Y / N, I didn't even know you'd come so early." It was a female familiar voice. Alex rolled his eyes and was clearly annoyed. You turned your head slightly and saw her from the corner of your eye. Clara. You were seething with anger. She was like a fly that keeps coming and you can't get rid of it.

"So nice that you can celebrate with us." She offered you a champagne.

"Thank you" You accepted the glass out of politeness.

"And what do we have to celebrate?" You asked confused and had to force yourself to smile.

" Our engagement, of course." You raised your eyebrow and had absolutely no clue what she meant. But you pretended you did, because you wanted to know what she had to say.

"Oh, exactly your engagement" Alex giggled. Your fake smile went away when you looked into Marco's face. He saw your anger, but didn't comment on anything.

,, Marco said he had already told you two about that. Don't you dear?” She looked at Marco with full conviction. You would have loved to tell her the whole truth and tell her what an asshole he is, but you kept silent and kept lying.

"I must have forgotten, I'm sorry. I congratulate you on your engagement. It's a shame I didn't notice anything about your deep deep love. But…you don't always have to be able to see everything. or not Marco?” You put particular emphasis on the word anything Your gaze was full of irony and you wanted to embarrass him.

Alex patted his shoulder and grinned. "You finally made the right decision, brother. Now everyone has what is theirs." Alex seemed to be enjoying the situation. He realized that your relationship with Marco was finally over. It was never the intention that Marco would fall in love with you. You put your hand on Clara's upper arm but kept distance.

“I wish you the best. But be careful sweetie, you know how charming our boys are. That would be tragic if he suddenly has another girlfriend and you don't even notice it.” You wink.

“I'm very lucky with Alex. He never lied and was always loyal.” You cuddled up to him and stroked his chest.

"I love you so much elskede" You kissed him deliberately, slowly and long, so that Marco sees it.

"I think we should sit down and eat." Marco felt uncomfortable and wanted to change the subject of conversation.

The mood was tense throughout the evening and Alex couldn't stand Clara talking anymore. He never liked her. Her childlike behavior annoyed you too.

Alex slid backwards with the chair and patted his thigh. "Elskede come and sit on my lap, I miss you when you sit so far away." You didn't have to think about the answer. Alex put one hand on your butt cheek and the other hand slipped under your skirt and placed it on your thigh.

,,So Clara you could stay here for the next few days. Y / N and I will go to see my parents tomorrow. " Alex smiled at you and stroked your cheek.

“I want to introduce them to this wonderful woman, my woman" He kissed you and his tongue gently brushed your lip. You didn't know anything about this plan, but the idea was great. Marco looked frustrated. He knew if his parents met you, you would become part of his family. And he ... he would lose you forever.

"You didn't tell me anything about your trip" He said briskly to Alex.

"It's not that relevant. We just tell each other the important things, right brother?” Alex looked at him angrily because he didn't know about the engagement either. Also, because Marco has never mentioned her lately. He didn't even know they were still together and now they are suddenly engaged. Alex looked at you like you were a goddess.

"I hope you are happy to see them too, elskede"

"It would be an honor." The joy could be seen in your face. For the first time you had the feeling that Alex was really serious about your relationship.

"Let's go into your room, I want to prepare my things for tomorrow and choose my clothes.” You drew circles on his chest with your finger and your gaze was directed to his crotch.

“Maybe we can spend a little more intimate time together.” Your hand slowly slid down his abs and your teeth sank gently into your lip.

"Can you remember the surprise when you blindfolded me? Maybe you can show me more of it." Your hand slipped under his shirt. It was a long time since you last felt his warm skin.

“Maybe you can tell me more about Ivar. I heard he is dominant and a little rude." Your lips were like magnets that attracted each other.

"He is much more than that" He whispered into your mouth. Clara moved closer to Marco.

"That seemed to have been a great surprise.”

“Oh yes, it was. It was very intense, I liked it. But Alex was definitely the best part of the whole surprise, I assure you sweetie." You looked briefly at Marco and noticed how he actually wanted to say something, but he couldn't.

"Honey, ask Alex what surprise that was, I want one too." She looked at him hopefully.

"Oh Marco knows exactly what surprise it was. He was there. You could really do that brother. You know how it works and you can definitely do it without me." You had to pull yourself together so that you didn't start laughing. Marco noticed exactly how malicious you were but did not allow himself to be provoked. You got up and leaned against the edge of the table.

“Let's go and leave them alone" You pulled his hand to make him stand up. He stood in front of you and and spread your legs with his thighs. Your skirt slid up. He grabbed your ass cheeks. He wanted to pick you up and carry you into the room.

"I think we should eat the cake now." Called Marco to stop him.

"I have another better candy in my room." Alex didn't look away from you and bit your lip. You had to giggle.

"We don't mean to be rude. Let's share a piece, okay?" You took the plate that Marco gave you. Your finger ran over the cream and made sure that Marco is watching you. Your lips wrapped around your finger licked the cream off.

"This taste reminds me of something." You said provocatively. Alex wanted to kiss the cream that fell on your thigh away, but you lifted his chin and rejected him.

"Not here, I can do it myself, thank you elskede".

You walked to the kitchen where Marco was standing. You hiked your skirt up and stretched your leg forward so that he could see your black lace panties and slowly wiped the drop away. You let your skirt down again and went close to his face, almost like you wanted to kiss him.

"You like to watch when I touch myself or not?" You whispered and touched his earlobes with your lips. You walked back to Alex and took him by the hand without a word and pulled him into the bedroom. You thought about whether you should close the door or whether you should leave a crack open. But you wanted to enjoy the time with Alex alone, so you closed it. You pushed him and he fell on the bed. You let your clothes slowly flow over your skin onto the floor. You removed your hair clip and your hair fell over your shoulder, lightly covering your nipples. Alex propped himself up on his elbows and admired your beautiful curves.

"So dear Ivar, show me your skills". You said demanding.

"Lie down here." He patted lightly on the middle of the bed.

"Put your arms up and stretch your legs" You followed all of his orders. He pressed his knees between your thighs. He took off his shirt and undid his zipper. You splayed your hands across his abs, feeling every single muscle. He lay down on you and pinned your wrists against the mattress.

"I said you should keep your arms up". He said firmly. His hand slid down your arm across your breasts and over your navel. He bypassed your pussy and touched your inner thighs. He reached around the back of your knee and knelt up your leg. You automatically lift your other leg and hooked both around his hip. He put his hand on your neck and gently choked you. His lips touched yours, but he didn't kiss you.

"Did I tell you to lift your leg?" He whispered against your lips. You tried to shake your head, but you couldn't.

"Lie face down and keep your arms up" You obey his orders without contradiction. Your pussy started to tingle. Not knowing what he was going to do, turned you on.He took your hair aside away from your face, so he could see your expressions. His warm skin on your naked back felt like a blanket.

"Say my name, slave!" His lips brushed your ear.

"Ivar" You mumbled against the pillow.

"Ivar what?” He said in a stern voice.

"My king Ivar"

“Good girl" He liked the way you submitted.He marked a trail of kisses on your back and bit your ass cheek. The slight pain made you moan briefly. Alex took off his pants and lay naked on top of you. His tongue ran over the back of your neck while his cock slide slowly up and down between your ass cheeks. You wanted it to slide into your pussy, so you lifted your ass up. Alex pulled your hair with one hand so that your face rose from the pillow.

"Are you disobedient again?"

"Fuck me". You begged him. He got off you and you thought it was over. You really wanted to have sex after the drama with Marco. You turned around and try to convince him, but he was faster. You felt the force of his hands on your ankles. He pulled you down until you were bent over the edge of the bed. You trusted him completely, so you were only frightened for a short moment and then immediately relaxed again.

“Now I have to punish you, slave” He knelt behind you and slapped your right butt. Your adrenaline level rose. He stroked your pussy with his cock and only sank the head of his dick into you. You closed your eyes and got goose bumps when it touched your entrance. You would cum quickly if his cock touched your walls. He wanted to tease you but actually he also teased himself. Alex bit back his moans every time when he felt your wet pussy. You tilted your head to one side, but he didn't see you. His gaze was directed up to the ceiling. He closed his eyes and bite his lower lip to control himself, at the same time he pressed his fingertips against your hip. You lowered your head and felt the tension in your muscles even more, it was so strong that it almost hurt. You just wanted to feel him, now, right now. You pressed your ass against his hip and his cock disappeared into your body, Alex groaned briefly but intensely. He held your hip firmly so that you couldn't bounce.

"I know you want that too." You reached under his palms and took his hands away from your body. He hardly gave any resistance. You knew if you stayed in this position, he would keep control of your movements. You turned around and pulled him back onto the bed. He leaned against the headboard and rubbed his dick. You crawled on the bed until you sat on his lap. You moaned at the same time as his cock stretched your walls and you began to ride him slowly. You hold on to his shoulders and tried to set a rhythm. You got warm and started to sweat but you didn’t care. Your ass cheeks pounded on his thighs and your pussy pulsed. Shock waves hit your body and you cried out his name like you never did before. You tried to keep the pace to made Alex cum too. You raked with one hand through his hair and felt his hard breathing on your throat. Your legs started shivering and you were slowly getting dizzy. His hands on your waist helped you keep the speed. His tongue brushed your hard nipples and you noticed how his moan got louder.

"I'm cuming" He mumbled softly against your chest and you increased the pace. He flooded himself into you. Your knees were already grazed and hurt a little. You stopped moving. He leaned his head on your chest and gave you a little kiss. You stroked the back of his head and gave him the kiss back.

You got off him and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Where are you going? Come back here!" He patted his chest muscle.

"I'm all sweaty" You were ashamed.

"I don't mind, get here immediately and show me that you love me too." He grinned and held out his hand.You lay down again with your head on his chest as he wanted. You were tired even though it wasn't late. You could have fallen asleep easily, but there was something you had to talk about.

"Can I ask you something?” You stopped caressing him.

“Yes of course, always” He was still drawing circles with his fingers on the back of your hand.

“Did you plan the trip to your parents in advance? Or did you decide that spontaneously today?" You were very happy about the idea, but at the same time it made you feel as if Alex only wanted to take revenge on Marco. It confused you and you needed to clarify it. You didn't want to stand between them and even less be the reason for arguing.

"You know, I've thought about this several times, but I never dared to ask you, because of Marco. I didn't want to be rejected, so i didn't bring it up. I already told my parents about you when you were in Copenhagen for the first time and they keep asking for you too. Marco is my best friend, but you belong to me and I don't want to share you anymore. I want you to be happy and I want to be the one who makes you happy.” A tear ran down your cheek and you were just speechless.

Alex noticed the silence.

"Hey elskede, why are you crying?" He wiped away the tear with his thumb and kissed your forehead.

“I love you” You were touched by his honesty. Would your relationship have been different if Marco hadn't been there? How would it have been if you hadn't had sex with Marco? You remembered as Alex looked you in the eyes for the first time, you were immediately enchanted by those piercing blue eyes and after the first kiss you felt a firework of emotions. You just never admit your feelings. Maybe the situation with Marco blinded you, maybe… But now…you were quite sure…Alex is the man you love, and nobody will be able to change that.

"I love you too" You smirked, and it went quiet for a few seconds.

"Ah elskede, one more thing…” You looked up at him.

“That was a very gentle and empathic Ivar" You giggled.

********

His parents lived in a small village outside of Copenhagen. The way there wasn't too long, but you got up early because you decided to have breakfast out. You already knew Marco's trick. As soon as you are alone, he would jump at you like a hungry lion. You didn't feel like seeing him, nor did you want to hear his excuses again. Alex couldn't stand Clara anyway, so you left the apartment quickly.

You arrived at your favorite coffee house. You always got your caramel-chocolate capuccino there before your shifts.

"I think we should move in together; we should have an apartment to ourselves. We could live a little closer to the hospital. The airport would also be closer." Alex commented with his mouth full.

"You know apartments are more expensive in this area, but we could have a look at a few when we get back, if you want to" You were a little skeptical, but it would be the best you could do to strengthen your relationship.

"Elskede, I've been crawling in the mud for years now and I didn’t do it because I was bored and you have one of the best paid jobs in Denmark. You know we can afford it". He raised his eyebrow and hoped you meant that as a joke.

You were never cocky, on the contrary, you were humble before you met him and wanted to stay that way. You were proud of Alex and what he had achieved, but you never bragged. There were few people around you who knew who your boyfriend was and that was on purpose.

Alex paid the bill, just like he always did when you were out together. You got in the car and drove off. You drove through a cute village with small brown houses as he slowed down.

"Our house is up there." Your heart was pounding and your ears whizzed. He parked in front of the entrance and got out. Since you arrived, he couldn't stop grinning, his joy was huge. Alex opened the car door for you. Your legs felt like jelly and you didn't dare to get out. You were sweating even though a cool wind was blowing.

"Come on elskede, they don't bite." He held out his hand to you.

"Oh, my boy, haven't seen you in so long." His mother came out of the house, she saw you through the window. She hugged him tightly and gave him a kiss on his cheek. You didn't know how to greet her, so you remained silent and waited for her to speak to you.

“Mom, this is Y/N.” He spoke in Danish, but that didn't intimidate you. You took his hand and got out of the car. You saw in her face how she considered whether she should speak English to you.

"We usually speak English, but if you speak slowly, she understands Danish very well.” She looked relieved. She hugged you and welcomed you. Your hands were still shaking and sweaty. She accompanied you into the house and you met his dad too. A very warm man with a lot of charisma. Now you knew where Alex inherited it from. Alex took the bag from your hand and carried the suitcases inside. His sister wasn't home. You felt good and your nervousness slowly disappeared. Alex went to his room to deposit the bags and you followed him. You were still too shy to stay alone in a room with his parents. There were a few photos on his desk when he was younger. Always these beautiful blue eyes, you thought.

"How long are we going to stay here?"

"Do you want to go again? Don't you like it?" He grabbed your chin and stroked it with his thumb. He looked sad.

"No, not at all, I didn't mean that. I want to see everything. Where you went to school, where your favorite places are, just everything." You approach him without leaving a centimeter free between you, your lips almost kissed.

"I told my best friend that we would be arriving today. He has invited us to his place tonight. What do you think?" He grinned at you.

"We'll be there. I love you." You gave him a quick kiss before you heard his mom calling.

"The meal will be ready soon." Your lips almost kissed. You went the stairs down. Alex was holding your hand, but you weren't too comfortable with it, so pulled it away before they could see it.

"It smells lovely, thank you for having me" You smiled at her. You all sat at the table together and you got a little homesick. You missed your family and your friends, but the warmth of his family covered that feeling for a brief moment.

"And how do you like Vikings?" She asked and was curious about your answer.

"So ... uhm ... shall I be honest?" You looked at Alex. You were hoping for a sign from him, but he was only focused on his food.

"I only watched a few episodes.” You blushed.

“But Alex told me what the series is about." You commented and hoped that they are not disappointed. You wanted to make a good impression, but you didn't seem to succeed.

"Really? So, you don't know him because of the show?" She seemed surprised.

"No. Maybe I really have to watch the series."

"You have to know that he kisses other women on the series. So, if you get jealous you have to skip those episodes." Her honesty intimidated you. You knew from Alex that his previous girlfriend couldn't handle his fame and they often argued because of it.

"I think I should get through that; we didn't know each other at that time." You said confidently. Alex told them, how you met each other and how you emigrated to Denmark. Of course, he skipped the Marco-part.

His dad patted Alex's shoulder. "She is a tough woman. I like her." You blushed.

The conversation was cut off by Alex's phone. You were relieved because his mom's questions made you more and more nervous. They got more personal and you didn't want to say anything inappropriate.

"I said we'd be there in an hour, is that okay for you?" asked Alex, who had previously spoken to his best friend on the phone.

"Yes sure." You hadn't heard Alex speak Danish very often, only when he was alone with Marco. Hear him speak longer sounded very erotic. His voice was just perfect for this language.

"Maybe from now on we should always speak Danish, even when we get home.” You were ready to fully integrate into the culture, you wanted to feel like a Dane and act like a Dane.It would probably be weird at the beginning, but Alex seemed enthused about it and that made you feel good.

You helped clear the table and clean up the kitchen. His father stood with you at the sink. He put the clean glass in the cupboard and stepped closer to you.

"You are always welcome here, consider us as your second family. Alex is a good man, treat him well." He spoke in a low voice. It seemed important to him to tell you that in private. You looked into his eyes and realized that Alex means a lot to him. A tear gathered on the edge of your eyelid.

"Tusind tak..." Your voice was suppressed by your emotions so you couldn't pronounce it clearly.

"Elskede, are you ready, shall we go?" His father smiled at you one last time. You took a deep breath, nodded slightly and left.

"Have fun and drive carefully." His mom stroked Alex’s back and closed the door behind you.

******

Alex had such a big smile on his face when he saw him standing at the front door. He got out and they hopped towards each other. They hadn't seen each other in months. You didn't dare to join them, so you leaned against the car door and waited.

"Heeey, who is that?" He leaned back slightly. He patted Alex hard on the shoulder once, that made him take a lunge.

"That's Y / N, my girlfriend" He waves for you to go over to him.

"She's really hot, good choice"

"Nice to meet you". You shook his hand and ignored what he said.

"Dude, why don't you tell me that she understands Danish." He said grumpily to Alex."I'm sorry for my rudeness, my lady, please come in." Alex laughed. "He has always been a very honest person". Alex put his hand on your hip and let you go first.You sat on the sofa and he brought beer. You're going to drive back, so you just drank a coke. You didn't say that much during the evening because they talked about video games or about other friends you didn't know or about things from the past."Let's have a cigarette." Suggested his friend. Alex was a casual smoker, so he went with him on the balcony. You didn't like the smell, so you went to the bathroom. You didn't hurry, so you checked your cell phone and saw a message from Marco."I know you're mad, but I can explain it. Everything I've told you is true, please believe me." You deleted the message without replying and walked out of the bathroom.

You went back the corridor and noticed the beautiful pictures on the walls. The drawings were silhouettes of naked women. You stop at each picture to look closely; they were very aesthetic. The guys hadn't closed the balcony door completely so you could overhear the conversation, while admiring these pictures.

"... maybe; but believe me she's not the right one. I know you Alex. Talk to Alicia againand the problem will be resolved. Alicia loves you, she was here once and asked for you.” Your heart started pounding, and you didn't want to believe what you heard. You were frozen and couldn't move or say anything. Tears ran down your cheeks without you being able to control. You felt a pain in your chest and a pressure in your stomach. You were determined to confront Alex with it, but when you stood in the room and saw them outside, you got scared. You tried to listen carefully again.

"You once told me that your kisses on set were real. Then go and show her that." His friend continued to encourage him.

It got worse and worse with every word. You took your jacket and ran out of the house. You don't know where to go but you just wanted to get away. A bus drove to the bus stop. Maybe that was a sign.

You got in and bought a ticket back to his parents' house to pack your things. Your eyes were red from crying and your scarf was wet from the dripping tears. The knot in the throat kept pressing and you felt like you were suffocating. You rang the doorbell and hoped that they wouldn't ask any questions.

"Hej Y/N, come in, where is Alex?" His mom asked surprised and looked over your shoulder.

"He's not there. May I go into the room for a moment?" You answer briefly without looking her in the eye. She took a step to the side to let you in. You quickly tossed your clothes in your bag and walked back down the stairs.

"I thank you so much for your hospitality, I felt very comfortable. It was an honor meet you." The tears in the eyes made you see blurred. You remembered his father's words and worried about what he would think now.

"But dear, where are you going? What happened? Why are you crying?" His mom stroked your arm and was concerned about your miserable emotional condition.

"It's time to go back home…my real home." She knew immediately what you meant.

You went out and looked back one more time. Her sad face made you intensify your feelings and feel worse. A taxi picked you up and drove to Alex's apartment. Fortunately, you had the key in your handbag. You went in and tried to ignore Marco, who was having sex with Clara on the sofa. You packed the rest of your things. Marco followed you through the apartment and tried to stop you, but you didn't want to talk to anyone. You left the keys on the kitchen table and closed the door behind you.

You wanted to get to the airport quickly, so you paid the taxi driver to wait for you. On the way there, you tried to cover up your grief with make-up. Your fingers feel paralyzed, you couldn't hold the brush properly.

You were standing at the check-in when Alex tried to call you for the fourth time, you ignored every single call, but he kept trying. You passed the passport control and you knew it was over now. It was a good time in Denmark, but you couldn't take it anymore. They both lied to you, several times. You never loved anyone like you loved Alex, but you just seemed to be his time- waster to forget Alicia.

Someone knocked loud on the glass partition. Since everyone was looking there, you had to turn around too to see what was going on.

“Y / N don't go! Please come back! Y / N! I love you! Do not get on the plane!”. It was Alex. He knocked the pane so hard that it could easily break in. It was difficult for you to just walk away and ignore him. The desperation on his face could not be overlooked. You sat down in the waiting area in front of your gate and watched how he tried to gain access to you. But it didn't seem to work. He argued loudly with the security guard and saw how he often pointed to the departure screen and tried to explain something to him.

The man stayed relaxed and that seemed to work.

He went up to you. “Excuse me ma’am. There is someone who needs to talk to you urgently. He said he won't calm down until you go to him. Do you know this man?" You didn't want to attract more attention and followed the security guard.

"What are you doing? Where are you going? Why are you leaving me?" He wanted to take your hands, but you pulled them away.

"Ask Alicia". You said it callously. You wanted to start crying again but you had cried so much before that you didn't have a tear to spare.

"Forget what he said. He likes Alicia, that's true. But HE likes her, not me. Yes, we had a relationship during the shoots, but that's history. I don't have any feelings for her anymore. She wanted to be with me again, but I didn't want to. Believe me, if I had wanted that, I would have done it a long time ago. " He wanted to stroke your cheek, but you turned your head away. You didn't want to be blinded by lies again.

“Well she’s still asking for you”. You insisted.

“Yes and after that she fucked with him.”

"When I saw you in the pub for the first time, I immediately had the feeling that you were special. There was another completely empty table that night, but I wanted to sit next to you. If you get on that plane now, I'll follow you. I'll go to the counter and buy a flight ticket. And if I have to sit on the floor, I'll fly with you. I can't let you take my heart with you. I love you. Please, we can build a new life together." He held back a tear and it was the first time you saw him cry.

He took your hand and bowed his head. "Please.." He said weakly as his tear fell on your hand.

You turned away from him and took your suitcase and Alex realized how you had made up your mind. He covered his face with his hands so that no one could see his sadness.

You took Alex’s hand to look into his icy blue eyes. “Let’s go home.” You squeezed his hand and he understood that you will never let him go again.

[lilith-of-rivia]

II

The Whisper in the Stars 

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia X Elf OC 

Word count: 3,746

Warnings: Cursing, violence? 

Thank you all so much for the support on my first chapter. Ive had 3 chapters posted to Wattpad since March and have had 3 likes on it It means the word the support on not only this story but all my imagines. You are all amazing humans and make my day. Much love  ~Apha 

The morning air was crisp on my face as Legolas and I walked threw the dim lilt woods, the sun barely peeking up in the east. The forest was calm and quiet, something I adored back home. This early morning walk threw the woods to check the snares we had set the night before reminded me so much of my younger days when I was little, and my energy was too much for my mother to handle so she would send me out with my much older brother. 

"So what's your plan?" I whispered to Legolas as we walked over to the first snare and saw a rabbit in it. I walked over to the lifeless body, and gently took the piece of string off its head and slid it into the bag I had borrowed from Jaskier. 

"Well, I don't really have one. I don't think there is any way to get home if were being honest. We never even knew this place excited, I doubt even Gandalf did, or he would've said something at some point about a land full of new people and creatures. Our kin, that we never knew about. I think right now, we stay on the Witcher's good side, and hope he lets us tag along with him until we can figure out where to go and live on our own." As he spoke we continued to move deeper into the forest. 

"What about father?" I asked and he stopped bending down, grabbing another rabbit, handing it back to me. 

"Maybe they have some form of magic that could help us contact him, but if not. He'll just have to mourn." I just nodded, knowing he was right. No matter how much it pained me to think about our father thinking we were dead and blaming himself.

"Common Apha, we have two more snares to check." He said calmly, standing up again. we walked in a calm silence to the next two snares and both were empty. 

A loud snap of a twig caused both our heads to snap, the distant footsteps making my ears prickle and tingle. We quickly and as quietly as possible stood behind a tree, listing carefully as the steps got closer. Legolas looked at me, as I held my dagger tightly in. My hand, his sword tight in his own. The steps moving closer and closer. With a quick nod of the head we both swiftly moved from behind the tree, my dagger pointed out in front of me sharply, his sword behind his head. 

I let out a huge sigh of relief as I saw Geralt in front of us, an amused smile on his face. 

"Sorry to frighten you, princess. You were both missing thoughts one of the many monsters had claimed you." He said to me. 

"We actually were just looking for food and came into some luck. Not enough but some. I'd be better if I had my bow." I said walking past him, Legolas next to me. 

"I know you think we are defenseless Master Witcher, but my sister and I fought off the worst wars anyone in our home had ever seen. We traveled for about 4 months with a group of others to defeat this evil. My sister was one of the most feared women warriors of our people. You may have monsters Witcher, and you may think we need to be babysat, but just give us a chance, and we will show you how much help we could be to you and your own. But I will warn you-" Legolas had turned to completely face Geralt now, and my heart quickened, feeling the gross amount of testosterone in the air as the two Alpha males stared each other down. "You hurt, or touch a hair on my sister's head, it will be the last thing you do. Even if it kills me. She's all I have left. I will not let anything happen to her." The two men came eye to eye, Geralt's jaw was clenched and his arms folded over his chest. They were barely two feet apart. I quickly stepped in between the two, pushing Legolas back a few steps, my back to Geralt. 

"I understand, my-" he waved his hand towards the camp, "whatever they are, are I all have. They are my responsibility. So I will respect you and your sister if it mutually understood that I will do whatever I have to to keep them safe." Geralt said calmly. Legolas nodded in agreement, walking back towards the camp a few feet ahead of us. 

"That was the most I've ever heard you speak Witcher," I said with a small smile looking at him as we walked. He nodded softly before looking down at me. 

"Its time to get you a bow, Little Elf." 

*** 

The village was in view as we all walked towards it. Jaskier was in the back, strumming on his lute and humming soft tunes here and there. Every now and then getting a glair from Geralt for his singing. Their relationship was quite amusing to watch. 

"You know we have no money. Or anything of value to trade to these people right?" I asked Geralt as we walked side by side up the road to the village. 

"I helped clear a very vicious heard of werewolves that had been killing their cattle and chickens. And even a few of their kids. They-" 

"Practically warship the grounds he walks on." Jaskier cut in earning an aggravated grunt from Geralt. I couldn't help but laugh softly. 

"We've been on our way here for supplies, and also so I can make sure there are no new monsters causing them any troubles." I laughed softly after he finished, making him cock an eyebrow at me. 

"You helped? I don't take you as a man who goes into an adventure of werewolf killing with a companion." I said with a hint of amusement. He smirked softly and looked forward. 

"I guess, if you put it that way, I single-handedly took out over 4 werewolves near a full moon." I laughed freely this time and looked at him. 

"I see why they worship you then," I said with a smile as we approached the village. Once we started walking down the Main Street meany people started to crowd around us. I subconsciously grabbed Ciri's hand and pulled her behind me. 

"Geralt of Riviera has returned!!!" A town elder announced as they all cheered. Geralt looked beyond unamused as he just shook his head. 

"What do we owe this honor?" The elder said coming and pushing past me and stranding as close as he could to Geralt. 

"I have two new companions traveling with me, and they need weapons, and we're also like a place to stay for a few nights and a bath." I nodded in agreement. Manley at the bathing part. The elder turned towards Legolas and I and looked past him stretching his head like an idiot. 

"I only see one companion, good sir." The elder said with a laugh.

"You looked past me," I said annoyed, my voice very monotoned. He looked at me and began laughing. 

"A woman. traveling with a witcher. What are you his whore?" In an instant, my brother was on him. His hands-on wrapped around his shirt, pushing him as hard as he could into the building behind him. 

"You do not speak such fallacies of my sister." He hissed in the man's face. 

"My sister is a better warrior than any man you have in this village. Do not speak such dishonor on her when you haven't even given the chance to know her name." He was seething. Geralt's hand gently came and pulled him back away from the elder who was laughing obnoxiously. 

"Then prove it Elf!" He yelled at me. And waved his hand, a man a few inches smaller than Legolas and Geralt stepped forward. His chest puffed out. 

"This is Lennon, the best archer we have. Can hit a bullseye at 100 yards!!" The man yelled laughing loudly as some other men cheered and patted Lennon. 

"I'll tell you what elf if your sister can beat him, you can have whatever two horses you'd like from our stables, and any pick from our weaponry." I chuckled lowly. Knowing this shot I could hit in my sleep. 

"But, if she loses, she stays here, works in our brothel. We need a new whore." Once again Legolas lunged but was blocked by Geralt's arm. Geralt stepped out in front of me, placing himself between the elder and I. 

"Even if she loses, she will be coming with me. You do not lay claim over a woman. Especially not a woman who travels with me." Geralt's voice was low and cold. The man just nodded. 

"What do we get if she looses then?" 

"That's the thing dear man, I don't miss." I hissed at him and he just stared in my eyes. 

"Geralt can take you to the armory to pick a bow. We will all meet in the lower field in 20 minutes." The elder said and walked away the other men following. And soon the crowd had disbursed. 

Geralt walked us all to the armory. I walked in and quickly my eyes landed on a hand-carved bow that reminded me of my own that I had lost on the boat wreck. I held it in my hands feeling the way the wood arched perfectly under my touch and the way the string pulled at my fingers. I hooked my fingers on the string-pulling it back to me and sighed a breath of relief. 

"I hope you are all ready for a good night's sleep and a bath," I said with a smirk and glanced at Geralt who looked pleasantly amused. 

We walked down to the field where the crowd was gathered. A quiver full of new arrows on my back. The man Lennon was standing in front of a large log and waiting for me. I approached him and he smirked at me.

"Lennon will shoot first." The elder said sitting in a chair as Lennon took an arrow out of his quiver and quickly cocked his arm back before releasing the arrow. If flew with a quick swoosh and shot deep into the target placed out in the field. I didn't need the judge to tell me. I could see. A perfect bullseye. 

"You see elf, you filthy sister will need better than a bullseye to get her share of the deal and me-" 

"I'd suggest you shut your mouth." Geralt said not even looking at him. 

Lennon moved to the side and I stepped up to my mark. Taking a string from my pocket I tied my hair back loosely to keep it from my face. My hand reached behind me, my fingers grazing the feathers of the arrows until they landed on the one that spoke. My brother's training had done well for me. I pulled it from my quiver. My handheld my bow up and the cool metal of the tip of the arrow landed on my index finger, as I pulled the string back to my face. My breathing was steady. My eyes narrowing at the target. The arrow of my appoints sticking out ever so slightly. Taking a deep breath in, the arrow and string released and the arrow went flying threw the air. I watched it fly gracefully until the perfect splitting noise made my ears raise. My arrow had split his. I gracefully let my hand and bow fall to my side and turned towards the elder. I new a very cocky smirk was on my face. 

"See, I told you. I do not miss. Now along with those new horses and the weaponry of my brother's choice. I'd like some new clothes. And a new pair of shoes for the children." My eyes we set in a narrow glare. The man just stood and nodded. 

"Very well, you indeed have won. And I will keep to my word. You know where everything is Geralt. Unfortunately, we only have two rooms available tho. And only one has a bath." He quickly walked away, followed by most of the men. I turned around and looked to see the eyes of my fellow campaigns on me. My brother's face held pride and admiration, knowing very well he can shoot better than I but, he taught me all I know. 

"Can you teach me how to do that!" Ciri cheered as she smiled brightly.

"Of course, it'll take a lot of practice and dedication tho. You have to be ready." I said with a smile.

"Shall we go bathe then," I suggested looking at Geralt who was just looking at me, his eyes boring into my own. He nodded his head softly. We walked back to the town, Ciri being the first to bathe after Geralt had filled the tub with hot water for her. 

"I can show you where you can get some new clothes." He said nodding to me and Legolas, we both stood from our perch on the steps up towards the two rooms we were given. We followed behind him to a small shop, inside a small elderly lady. She smiled as we walked in and came over to me grabbing my hand and pulling me on top of a small step before she began measuring my waist and arms. Geralt and Legolas taking a seat on a small bench, both sets of arms crossing over their chests. 

"You sure showed Barron. Serves him right for underestimating the power some women hold." She said with a small smile up at me as she finished her measuring. 

"Thank you, ma'am. I just prefer to prove myself rather than yell." I said with a soft smile. 

"I'm guessing you would prefer a few pairs of trousers instead of some dress?" I laughed softly and nodded in thanks. She walked away and to the back of the room, before entering with three pairs of black trousers and two grey shirts. 

"I have a cloak that will fit well after you bathe come back and I'll give it to you along with some new nickers." She said with a soft wink making my cheeks blush softly as the two men behind her sifted uncomfortable. 

"Thank you, ma'am. I really appreciate it." I took them from her and walked over to the seat next to Geralt as Legolas stood up and she measured and found him clothes. 

"I truly did underestimate you, little elf." Geralt whispered making me smile as I watched the woman hand Legolas his stuff as she whispered to him. 

"I told you, I'm a force to be reckoned with. I could truly become an asset to you Geralt of Rivera." I said with a smile and he hummed softly, I could see the small smile out of the corner of my eye. Legolas walked back over to us and we all left the shop, me promising to come back later. We reached the inn and I placed my stuff on the porch and sat back on the stairs watching the sun go down. The horizon being something I've never seen before. A completely new place, with new adventures and new opportunities for myself and brother. 

"It's your turn to bath princess." Geralt said as he stepped out of the room, his hair damp. Everyone had bathed but me, wanting to give everyone else a chance. 

"I cleaned and refilled the bath with water for you, there's a bucket of cold water by it if its to hot." He said with a smile as I stood grabbing my new clothes and looking at him. 

"What are sleeping arrangements, Geralt?" Jaskier asked as he strummed on his lute. 

"There are three beds in that other room," I said pointing to the room Dara and Ciri were already asleep in. The other only had a single bed. 

"You should take the room with the bath Geralt," I said as I walked to the door. 

"No, I don't sleep much. I definitely don't need a whole bed to myself. You take it Apha, then Legolas and Jaskier can have a bed to themselves. If I find myself needing sleep, I'll sleep on the floor." he said not taking his eyes from the sunset. I glanced and Legolas and he nodded, no doubt not wanting to share a bed with me. 

"Okay if you say so, I'm going to bathe now. If any of you come in ill plant an arrow in your dick." I said before closing the door to the room and locking it. 

The bath was made, I could see the steam rolling off the water, which just made my body ace more. I quickly peeled off my old smelly clothes before completely submerging myself into the steaming water. The sigh that left my mouth was near orgasmic. The water warmed every cold spot on my body and soothed every aching pain I had. There was a tiny dish next to the bath that held a small bar of soap. I wasted no time in taking it and lettering my hands before standing up. the cool air nipping at my sensitive skin making it prickle up with goosebumps. My hands wandered all over my body scrubbing every inch. Once I was satisfied I sat back down and watched as the suds and the dirt washed away. With a quick breath in I submerged my head and ran my fingers threw my hair before coming up for more air. Soon the water was a dark brown, but my hair and skin were cleaner than it had been then the day we left our homelands. 

I quickly dressed in my new clothes before stepping out onto the porch, comb in hand; to see Geralt perched on the steps, looking out over into the distance. Almost as if he was waiting for something to come out of the forest. 

"How was your bath, little elf." He truly liked that nickname. He didn't even look back at me as he spoke.  I took a seat next to him and began combing out my hair. 

"Wonderful. I don't think my muscles have felt that relaxed in a long while. I constantly feel like my body is trying to give out on me." I said with a huff as I neatly braided my hair as I watched the night stars. 

"I understand that pain all too well." He said glancing at me. 

"I doubt a witcher of your status has time to relax, let alone work out knots and kinks in his own back," I said with a small chuckle and he nodded. 

"My shoulders been killing me awfully the past couple weeks, I can feel the knot that's formed under the bone." He said moving his right shoulder uncomfortably. I softly moved my hand and placed it on his upper arm. He flinched away and looked at me, making me roll my eyes. 

"You can pretend to be a scary witcher to others, but I see threw it. Just relax. I would normally just subside the pain with my magic, but your immune. So let me work the knot out for you. As a thank you." His eyes flicked all over my face, his jaw clenched. With a small nod of his head, he turned back to the sky. I smiled softly. 

"Move it the step below me," I whispered. He did as I said, my legs on either side of him. 

I softly move his hair from his shoulder and gently ran my fingers down his spine and up and around his shoulder blades. I soon felt the knot under my thumb, and softly started to roll my thumb over it. Applying more pressure I could feel it moving slightly. He was so tense it was making my hands cramp. He let out a soft grunt that made my stomach spin and fills with butterflies. I closed my eyes and continued to roll my knuckles over the spot repeatedly. I could feel my hands heating as I tried my best to let the heat enter his skin in order to help destress him. But it was to no avail. I continued on the spot for a while until the knot was much smaller, and slowly stopped my movements. His head was no longer up but dropped down. His breathing was calm and steady. 

"Don't stop." He grunted and I smiled softly. I stroked my hands over his back and shoulders. 

"Common." I stood up holding my hand out, he looked at it hesitantly and grabbed it as he stood. I walked into the room and closed the door behind him. 

"Take off your shirt and lay on the bed," I said not willing to take no for an answer. He looked at me for a second and then walked over to the bed. 

I walked over to the lantern and blew it out before placing a log on the fire in the other corner of the room. Looking over at him my heartbeat quickened as he took off his shirt. His body was made by the gods themselves. He was probably one of the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen. 

"You're staring, little elf." He said with a smirk. 

"Yeah well, do you blame me?" I asked and he chuckled softly. The sound was melodic. 

"Lay down witcher," I said and he did as I said. I move to the bed and softly straddled his hips. Placing my hands on his back. His arms went under his head and he took in a deep breath. I slowly started to kneed my hands and knuckles into every part of his back and shoulders. His body slowly relaxed under my touch. Not completely but some. 

I continued my moves for a while, zoning out of my own thoughts and just watching his muscles move with my hands. His soft snores broke me out of my trance, making me smile. I gently moved from him, and grabbed the blankets and pulled them over himself and myself. I gently stroked a stray hair from his face and couldn't help but feel those butterflies fill my stomach again. 

"Goodnight, Geralt," I whispered rolling over, my back to him closing my eyes.

[leelee10898]

Chikara: Itami (4/?)

Summary: Ellie has been saved, but how will the events of the attack effect her? Meanwhile in California, the brotherhood makes another move. The word Itami, roughly translates to pain.

Catch up HERE. As always if you'd like added to the tags, let me know. Also I apologize in advance, tumblr apparently hates the read more feature stil....

Raiting: Mature. Series contains Violence, language, death and Lemons..

Compton, California….

Ximena slipped out to her red SUV, she had it painted to try to throw the brotherhood off her trail. The night Jason was arrested she took off for Compton. An old friend had a house she could crash and lay low for a while, the only person who knew her whereabouts was Colt. With him showing up she would need to put some effort in relocating again, keeping the trail Cold. A quick trip to the 24 hour market for some groceries and she was headed back to her safe house. Not a soul in sight she slowed to a stop at the sign and signaled right. Suddenly a car with no lights came out of nowhere plowing into her car, sending it spinning around 3 times before coming to a stop.  

[[MORE]]

Ximena hit her head on the window, her body jostled around from the collision. She tried to turn the engine over to no avail. Fuck she growled, reaching for her baseball batt she kept tucked away in the back seat. She could make out two figures stepping out of the vehicle  behind her. She quickly assessed her surroundings, her only vantage point was her car stopped crooked, her passenger side a blind spot. She carefully climbed into the passenger seat, quietly opening the door and slipping out.

"Hester warned us about her, she's tough. Stay alert." She heard one of them say as she stayed hidden in the shadows. Come on. Come on. Just a little closer. she thought to herself. "The doors open, she's gone. Check the alley." The other man spoke, as she heard footsteps approaching. Lucky for her, he passed by where she was standing. Once he turned to leave she jumped out from behind the dumpster, swinging the bat at the man, he hit the ground with a thud. She took off running towards her car, the other man on her tail. He lunged at her, grabbing her waist. He was larger than her, not giving her much advantage she struggled against the man finally wriggling free. "You son of a bitch." She swung her arm, the man ducking and landing a blow to her side.

Ximena clutched her side, fire raging through her veins, "big mistake asshole." She reached out grabbing the thug by this neck, bringing her free hand up to punch him in the jaw. The man struggled against her as She backed him up against the wall, pushing him up against it with force, knocking him out cold.  Rushing to her car she climbed in the passenger side, settling behind the wheel. "Come on. Come on." She grunted turning the key, as the engine sputtered. She noticed the other man emerging from the alley way, wielding a baseball bat. Finally the engine roared to life, the man jumped in front of the car, ximena clipped him with the passenger side,  sending him flying backwards.

She picked up her phone, frantically searching for a number.  "Colt. Its ximena, i'm on my way to you.. and your plan, I want in."

New York……

Ellie laid in the hospital bed, still unconscious. The nurses and doctors had left the room, leaving only Nick and her. After answering numerous questions by hospital staff and the cops, he was finally given permission to see her. When Ellie told him she was leaving the party, he was so caught up in the fact she put him in the friendzone, then worry about her safety. After a moment to compose himself, he mentally reprimanded himself for allowing a beautiful girl like herself to walk home alone, and so he set out to trail behind her. He only found her as she darted into a dead end alley, a figure following behind her. By the time he had reached her, she laid barely conscious as he grabbed the assailant off of her, and beat him until he passed out. He called 911 reporting the incident, and Ellie and the assailant were taken to the hospital.  

He was able to get into her phone and give the hospital her dads number. His memory reaching back to the image on her wallpaper, the boy with the leather jacket, dark hair and eyes, his arm wrapped around her waist. He knew he must have been something special to her, the fact made him a little jealous.  He stood next to her bed "Ellie, I need you to wake up. I need you to be ok." He spoke as he noticed her hand started to move. Slowly she opened her eyes, an audible gasp escaped her as she began to panic. "Ellie. Ellie, hey its ok you're ok." She looked over to Nick, relief and confusion on her face. "Nick? Where. Where am I? She whispered. "You're at the hospital, do you remember what happened?" She nodded her head, lifting her arm that was free from wires and iv lines to the back of her head.

"The brotherhood." She whispered.  Nick snapped his head to look at her "what did you say?" A nurse walked in "oh miss wheeler, glad you're awake. Im Nadia, I'll be the nurse taking care of you." She walked over assessing her. "Well everything looks good, however they do want to keep you overnight for observation. And there is a couple police officers who would like to speak to you." Ellie nodded as the nurse left the room, a minute later tow officers walked in.

"Hello miss Wheer, im officer grubbs. This is officer Davis" he motioned to the man standing next to him.  "we would like to ask you a few questions about what happened."

Ellie began to tell them how she had left a party to walk home by herself, when she was followed and cornered in an alley and then attacked by the man. "I see, and do you know the person who attacked you, had you ever seen him before?" Ellie shook her head "No. He said that Jason Shaw sent him to get rid of me. I have never seen him before tonight."

Officer Davis approached her "Had you been drinking at this party?" Ellie looked at the officer shocked.  "I had one cup of punch, hours before I left the party."

"So you're saying your judgment could be clouded by Alcohol consumption. " Davis smirked slightly.

"No. I'm saying that man followed me into an alley with every intention to kill me." Ellie bagam to tear up, frustrated by the turn of events.

"Kill is such a strong word. Were there any witnesses? The way we're told is you two have a history and your jealous boyfriend here stepped in while he was trying to save you."

"Davis!" Officer Grubbs warned.

"No. That's not what happened at all. I don't know him." Ellie sobbed.

Nick stood up from his chair "Hey, that asshole was attacking my friend.  He's the one you should be grilling, not Ellie."

Davis laughed out "ok casanova, calm yourself."

"I'm sorry miss wheeler if this had upset you. I have your statement, he will see a closed circuit judge." Grubbs spoke with a soothing voice.

"What. What will happen to him?" Davis gave her a  wicked smirk, Grubbs more sympathetic.

"He will be charged with assault, however he already has someone trying to post bail."

"B- bail? No. No no no, He's working for the brotherhood. Jason Shaw sent him to kill me. Check the FBIs wanted list, you cant let him go." Ellie sobbed out.

Davis gave her a smirk and walked out the door, in that moment she knew he was in their pocket. Grubbs walked up placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Im sorry Ellie, the best advice I can give you is to file a no contact order against him. I wish there was more we could hold him on." He gave her a sad smile and walked out the door.

Ellie began to panic, Jason wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted, revenge on her for taking him down. "My dad. I need to call my dad." She tried to get out of bed. "Hey, hey calm down Ellie. The hospital called your dad, he's on his way here." Nick assured her as he wrapped his arms around her small shaking frame. "Ellie, it's going to be ok. It's all going to be ok." Nick assured her in a soothing voice, calming her down. Something about the way he spoke was so familiar and she realized it was the same reassuring, soft tone Colt took with her it made her heart ache.

They sat there like that for a while, until the nurse came in telling them they were moving Ellie to a bed in the main hospital and Nick had to leave. That night Ellie struggled to find a good night's sleep, she tossed and turned until exhaustion took over.

Jason looked at her,  a maniacal smile that bared his teeth, chilling her to the bone. "I told you Ellie, Do as I say and nobody gets hurt. It's a shame you didn't listen."  Colts limp body sat hunched over in the chair, clinging between life and death. She tried to scream but her voice failed her, instead she sobbed out a pleading cry as he sauntered over to Colt. "Please. Please no." She managed to get out. "Such a sweet, innocent little thing still.  To bad that delicate skin is going to be your undoing. Say bye bye to lover boy." Jason lifted his hand pulling the trigger.

"Colt….." she Jerked up in bed, screaming as a constant flow of tears streamed her face. She looked around the room,  still in the hospital, alone. No Jason, no Colt, just her completely and utterly alone. The events of the past day wearing her down, He was supposed to keep her safe,  he told her going to Langston would keep her safe and it didn't. He failed to keep her safe, and he failed to do what he promised he would, Love her. Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft rapp at the door. A petite brunette nurse peeked her head in. "Ellie, Its early and we usually don't allow visitors at this hour, but someone wants to see you." Her eyes landed on her dad, he quickly crossed the room throwing his arms around her.  "Oh Ellie. Oh thank god you're ok." He breathed a sigh of relief. "Im ok. She flinched, her body sore from the attack. "If something happened to you Ellie, I don't. I don't know what I would do."

"Im alive." Her tone with a hint of harshness to it. She was angry at Colt for his failed promises,  it wasn't until her father came that she realized she was angry at him too.

"What's wrong Ellie? You seem a little angry." Her dad pulled back, sensing her tone. She sat there, silent for a moment he expression unreadable. "Why didn't you tell me Jason wasn't in jail?"

Her dad, caught off guard by her question doubled back. "Ellie…"

"Dad! Why didn't you tell me?" She demanded.  She was angry, much more than she thought.

"I. Was just trying to protect you." His voice soft, maybe a hint of shame in it.

"Right, because I'm this delicate little flower that everyone thinks cant handle the tough stuff." She scoffed.

"I wanted you to focus on school. The farther you were from this, the safer. " her father reached for her hand, she pulled it back quickly. "Well, look how well that worked out." She rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty tired dad. I think im going to get some rest. You should go get some sleep too. I'll see you later."  Her dad looked at her with a sadness that screamed heartbreak but he nodded anyway. "Ok. Get some sleep, I love you Ellie." He leaned over giving her a soft kiss. "Love you too, dad."

Once the door closed she tossed herself on the bed.  Jason's words from her dream running through her head. Too bad that delicate skin is going to be your undoing. She was soft, everyone seen her as a softie who needed saving, who couldn't get the job done. She was weak, meaningless and useless and that had to change. As she laid there she felt the darkness creep over, no longer would she be weak, useless, the girl who always needed saving. She wouldn't allow Jason to pull her puppet strings anymore.  he was going down once and for all, and she was going to be the one to do it. No matter what it took.

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[marvel-nerd-87]

Haunting Me (3/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary:

Warnings: Language, PTSD, torture.

Words: 996 (how’s that for a comeback!)

Italics are flashbacks

AN:I PROMISE I PUT THIS UP ON THE RIGHT DAY, IM JUST A WHOLE ASS IDIOT AND FORGOT TAGS AND THE TAGLIST LMAOOOOOO

TAGLIST OPEN

Bucky stayed with you all night, his chest to your back, all of this felt like a hazy dream. You had spent the past year without him, without the only thing that made your prison life slightly bearable. You woke up the next morning to Bruce checking your chart and adjusting your medication, years spent in a cold, damp cell had done a number on your immune system.

“Good morning (Name), Bucky will be here shortly to show you to your room. You’re still gonna need to take antibiotics for the next two weeks but there’s no need to keep you under my watch anymore.”

“Hey uh-Bruce, I was wondering if I could shower?”

“Oh, well Bucky’s out on a run with Steve and Sam but if you’re comfortable I’m sure Wanda or Natasha could come help if you’d like.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“FRIDAY, Send Wanda or Natasha to the clinic please.”

“Of course, Dr. Banner.”

After Bruce had disconnected all the monitors and IVs 2 women walked into the room.

“This is Natasha”, Bruce gestured to a woman with short red hair, “and this is Wanda” he addressed the brunette.

“You needed us?” Wanda questioned in a vaguely Europen accent.

“Yes, (Name) wanted to shower and I was wondering if you guys would be willing to help?”

“Of course.” Natasha smiled and helped you out of the bed. You wobbled a little because it had been a while since you actually walked. She supported you until you could walk on your own. They led you to a door on the other side of the clinic, “Get undressed and get in and we’ll go grab you some clothes and shower stuff.”

You slipped the loose fitting hospital gown off and looked at yourself in the mirror. How long had it been since you’d seen your own reflection?

Day 73 without B

They locked you in a room of mirrors. Some type of psychological test they said. The silence was deafening. You could hear the blood rushing through your body. The first hour or so was filled with screams for help, begging them to let you out. How long had it been? You didn’t know. It was always bright in the room, you couldn’t tell night from day. All you could do was stare at your own reflection. Your once (skin tone) had lost all life, taking a sort of grey undertone. Your (hair type & color) was unkempt and dirty. Your (eye color) eyes were basically hollow. You were losing whatever sanity they hadn’t already robbed you off.

You felt a hand touch your shoulder and you jumped back.

“Are you alright? You’ve been staring at yourself for a long time.” Wanda looked at you with concern.

“Yeah, yeah I’m, I’m fine. Just guess I haven’t seen my reflection in a while. I forgot what I looked like.”

“Well here are your clothes and a towel ”, She sat down what she was carrying with a smile, “and this is your shampoo, body wash, and conditioner. Anything else you need have FRIDAY put it on the shopping list and I’m sure Happy can pick it up next time he goes shopping. Bucky will be here soon.”

“Thank you, Wanda.”

“No problem, (Name). I’m here if you need me.”

As you stepped under the stream off water your muscles immediately relaxed on contact with the heat. You hadn’t had a hot shower or a shower in years. The shampoo had a relaxing lavender scent. As you washed your hair you could feel the years of built up dirt fading away. It almost felt like they years of abuse were being washed out of your brain but it could never be that easy.

You stepped out of the shower and dried your body off before putting on the clothes Wanda brought. A pair of black leggings and a red Henley shirt. You walked out of the bathroom and were greeted by Bucky sitting on your bed smiling at you.

“Is that my shirt?”

“Uh-Maybe? Wanda brought it to me. Do you want it back?”

“No keep it, it looked better on you anyways. Ready to go to your room?”

“Yeah, I guess.” He took your hand and led you down the hall to an elevator.

“We’re on the same floor, so I’m nearby if you need me.” He pressed the button to the 6th floor.

“We have a kitchen, Den, and a bathroom on our floor but we usually hangout in the main living room and kitchen. Wanda is the best cook so she usually handles dinner.”

The elevator door opened to a beautiful den with a giant floor to ceiling window with a beautiful view of the city.

“There are lots of snacks in the kitchen and if you don’t like any of those FRIDAY can put whatever you do want on Happy’s list.”

“Who’s FRIDAY?”

“She’s Tony’s weird robot assistant thing. It was Jarvis at one point but Jarvis is kind of a living person thing robot now and he’s dating Wanda. It’s a little weird but you get used to it. This is your room.”

The walls were empty and there was a huge bed in the middle and a desk in the corner.

“I know it’s not much but tomorrow I’ll take you to buy some clothes and stuff to decorate it.”

“Anything’s better than that cell.” You sat on your bed. It was soft, maybe to soft after spending the last few years sleeping on a pad on the floor.

“You get used to it, I think Wanda and Steve are cooking breakfast if you'd like to get something to eat?”

“I’m starving.” You got up and stood in front of Bucky looking into his blue eyes.

“I missed you so much, thank you for coming back for me.”

“I never stopped looking for you. I needed you back in my arms and now that I have you back, I’m not losing you again.”

TAGLIST: @honeyyhugs @ifantasizeromance @dumblani @technolilly @magiclolipopqueen @girlwith100names @aveatquevale- @tarithenurse @derekxsammy @callie-bear15 @iris-suoh @mcu-master @pennyinthewell @loki-hurt @loki-loving @chloe-geoghegan1 @psychicway @veganfangirl5 @blu-eyed-devil