#<- guy who loves giles but is having a buffy moment so let's all kill him with knives

[crimeboys]

it actually drives me insane when other characters get mad at buffy for taking charge or acting like she's the boss like imagine since you were 15 years old you have been told that the entire fate of the world rests on your shoulders, that you will live and die for it and you dont have a choice in the matter, that you have to make decisions that will result in people either living or dying, that you are the slayer, the only chance of giving balance to the world, and then people are like "why are you so bossy?" bc she's the fucking boss. wasn't her choice but she is.

[hello-nichya-here]

Just watched final episodes of Buffy and my spuffy heart is insanely happy about Spike's speech in touched and how Buffy finally seems to understand just how much she means to him.

And you right, the Bangel kiss was so forced and Buffy basically told him to get out of her show 'cause she had a new man lmaoooo

Spuffy in "Touched" is on a whole other level of greatness. Everything about Spike's speech to Buffy is perfect.

For starters, Spike told off everyone for being absolute dicks to Buffy and daring to kick her out of her own home and wander through a completely apocalyptic Sunnydale by herself. Not wanting to go along with her plan was one thing, but stabbing her in the back like that was horrible - and Spike calling them a bunch of sad traitors was PERFECT (plus, him giving Giles a piece of his mind after the plot to kill him was so satisfying).

Spike is just so sweet to Buffy during the entire conversation - with the ocasional "You're insufferable for not believing how awesome you are" and "Want me to kill Faith for you? 'Cause I would totally kill Faith for you."

(Compared to the time Angel told Buffy to get out of his show because he had a new slayer girlfriend, and it's just soooo clear who Buffy and Angel should be dating instead of each other XD)

The most important part of the speech is not even how it makes Buffy understand the depth of Spike's love for her, but how, like he said, he truly understands her like no one else did.

"I love what you are, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength, I've seen the absolute best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy"

Spike was Buffy's sworn enemy, reluctant ally, willing ally and supportive friend, toxic boyfriend, sweet boyfriend she mistreated, and now he is her champion, the one that will help her save the world - again. OF COURSE he knows her in a way nobody else did.

Him calling her "the one" - both as in "his one true love" and "the chosen one" - is also perfect, because Buffy's entire conflict is feeling she will never have a fullfiling life, with meaningful relationships, because, like the first slayer said "The slayer doesn't walk this world" and "death is your gift." She fears she's too much of a hero to be a person.

And then in comes Spike. The dude that regularly calls her just "Slayer." The guy she's treated worse than she ever treated anyone else (including herself, which is saying a lot) BECAUSE of her struggly to deal with being the Slayer AND in love with anyone, let alone a souless vampire.

And he just embraces both sides of her. The kind, vulnerable girl longing for connection. The ruthless, powerful hero that doesn't need anyone. He LOVES both sides of her.

But, more importantly, said love is at it's most selfless on that moment.

"I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not 'cause I want you, or 'cause I can't have you. It's got nothing to do with me"

It doesn't matter that Buffy isn't perfect, that she mistreated him in the past, that she feels she doesn't deserve him. Hell, it doesn't even matter if she can't reciprocate Spike's feelings (even though we know she does). He still loves her, and his love will always be hers regardless of anything and everything.

Spike is being incredibly honest and vulnerable in this scene - and it allows Buffy to finally accept not only his love for her, but to give him her heart too.

I've already said over and over that I don't think Seeing Red worked, but my God, it is such a big deal to have Buffy ask Spike to come to bed with her after it, especially since the episode deliberately compares it too all the other couples in the show having sex. It's the proof that she has not only forgiven him, but also managed to fully trust him to never hurt her again (remember her saying to Giles "You sent away the one person who's been watching my back" and her chosing him as her champion instead of Angel).

But THE thing that makes me insane about this moment, and that the Spuffy fandom surprisingly doesn't talk about nearly enough, is the implications of their conversation about their night of cuddles.

Everyone is always going on and on about how that was the best night of Spike's life, and how that would have been his moment of "perfect happiness" if he was under the same curse as Angel - yet I haven't seen nearly enough people going crazy over tha fact that Buffy then confirms to Spike that SHE FELT THE SAME WAY, IT MEANT JUST AS MUCH AS IT DID TO HIM.

Buffy went through hell that night, as being pushed away by all of her loved ones confirmed her worst fears - and it was still what led to her moment of "perfect happiness" just because Spike was there to support her through it all. She even goes as far as saying she only got the weapon that will help her defeat the bad guy because of the strength Spike gave her that night.

Also, the way she gently touches his face during that talk, AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Anyways, they are soulmates and if you don't agree, you're wrong.

[jvstheworld]

The Buffy Re-watch: S2E4 (part 2)

Inca Mummy Girl

Teaching Ampata how to eat a Twinkie. You can actually buy Twinkies in the UK, just have to go to certain shops. But I have never bought one or eaten one.

Of course Ampata wants the seal destroyed, she wants to live.

After all that effort of trying to convince Giles to let her go, Buffy has to do her slayer thing anyway.

Xander asking Ampata if she is a praying mantis. She's not but she will still kill you if you get with her.

Chosen one stories. The slayer and the princess, they do have there similarities, both end in tragedy. Twice actually. Ampata dies twice, first when she is sacrificed and then at the end of the episode. For Buffy it was at the end of season 1 and the next will be at the end of season 5.

Close calls for Buffy and Ampata in getting to see some secrets exposed.

Okay, the translating salivating American boy talk was a bit funny.

Dingoes Ate My Baby, good name for a band.

I love the dedication Willow puts into her costume.

Sven the Swede is a Viking and Cordy is an ass

Hey look, it's the first appearance of Jonathan played by Danny Strong. Dude suffers a lot in this show, but I do lose sympathy for him in season 6. I'll talk about that when I get there.

Ampata and Xander dancing, it's a nice moment shot pretty well.

Oz notices Willow for the first time and immediately likes her. Also Oz and Tara> Xander and Kennedy.

Giles has a crappy car, surely with his Watcher's salary he could afford a better car?

Sven is annoyed with Cordy. Anyone would be if they were spoken to in the way that Cordy spoke to him. I feel for the guy, and he has to live with her the whole time he is in the States.

The lighting in the scene with Jonathan, Ampata and Xander is beautiful. The kiss between Ampata and Xander is done wonderfully too.

Giles is just having the time of his life fixing the seal. I would not be surprised if he did jigsaws for fun, the really complicated ones with thousands of pieces. Jigsaws are fun for all ages is what I'm saying.

Bad timing OZ, you'll get there one day.

Buffy and Giles are trapped in the sarcophagus together.

Poor Xander, he really did like her.

How did Buffy explain Ampata's disappearance to her mother?

Ampata was a victim, but through wanting her life back she became an almost reluctant villain. She was just a 16 year old girl and had so much responsibility thrust on to her shoulders that she lost out on the things that a person her age should have been able to do. The same goes for Buffy in some way, just without the killing people part. Another example is Dana from the season 5 episode 'Damaged' in Angel. She was an innocent victim but because of the trauma she suffered and her new found slayer abilities she became the villain. She was just a very hurt and scared girl who didn't deserve to suffer.

[theajaheira]

I love your blog! You have so many excellent insights and I’d never really thought about how all of Buffy is influenced by Jenny. I hope get to read your thesis one day!

Something has always bugged me about s4 and I’m wondering if it’s just inconsistent writing or if there’s more to it. When Giles asks out Jenny he’s so nervous and they sort of imply that he’s never asked out a girl before so he literally needs Buffy’s help. Later we see Bad Boy Giles’s DarkPast™️ and in s4 he has an old girlfriend come to town. It’s implied that they dated when he was younger. I don’t know how to reconcile s1 Giles with s4 Giles. It feels like they forgot the original backstory they gave him once they got excited about his dark past and they just went with that.

Doesn’t Giles even say he’s never dated before Jenny? (Sorry if I’m getting details all wrong, it’s been a moment since I saw these episodes.)

Anyway curious about your thoughts!

oh my gosh, this ask made me LIGHT UP, because you have hit on the one little retcon-weirdness moment that is every calendiles fan's favorite thing ever, and now i get to talk about it! thank you so much for this! i love this so much! i literally saved it for days JUST SO i would get to write this up in response!

ANYWAY. just about everything you say is completely correct! i think the only part that isn't accurate is the fact that giles never explicitly states he hasn't dated before jenny -- what you might be thinking of is the line where buffy describes jenny as "the only woman we've ever seen speak to [giles]," which definitely implies something similar. BUT the key point there is PERCEPTION -- the kids PERCEIVE giles as someone who hasn't dated before, and the kids are not reliable narrators when it comes to giles, especially since this is set before the dark age. at this point in time, buffy's perception of giles is canonically and intentionally one-note, as is ours as viewers.

i definitely agree that there is dissonance between what we see of giles/olivia, what's suggested of giles's past, and the way he interacts with jenny. because we're given two pieces of information:

giles is a reformed rebel who can absolutely Get It if he wants

giles is a mess around jenny specifically

so definitely if you're looking at that second piece of information and expecting it to be a reflection of how giles is around all women, this can be perceived as inconsistent writing. HOWEVER, there is a THIRD piece of information that is INCREDIBLY important to piecing this little puzzle together:

3. GILES NEVER RECOVERS FROM JENNY'S DEATH.

this man spends jenny's entire time in canon whipping around when she enters the room, staring at her obsessively when she IS in the room, hanging around her computer lab when they're broken up to the point that she has to tell him to stop, and then when she dies he goes into this protective little watcher shell and is never even half as fluttery and silly and soft as he is in the early seasons. her death is so profoundly heartbreaking for him that it literally rewires him into someone else, because he just Cannot Exist as the man that he is. he Cannot Survive. he quite literally tries to kill himself because existence seems impossible!

so let's come back to this notion of giles being the kinda guy who can absolutely talk to women, and giles being the polar opposite of a smooth operator w jenny. though the show does initially frame this as a by-product of giles's general early seasons dorky vibe, his backstory creates this new and excellent implication that canon does nothing to dispute, and in fact ENCOURAGES: jenny calendar is so fucking special to giles that she kills all of his brain cells and he just genuinely cannot be normal around her.

[mothman-rewatches]

Rewatch: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Prophecy Girl" (S1Ep12)

Summary: Strange events begin happening around Sunnydale just as Giles reads a disturbing prophecy. Buffy and the Master face off. 

Written by: Joss Whedon, Matt Kiene, Joe Reinkemeyer

Directed by: Joss Whedon

Aired: June 2nd, 1997

WARNING: This post contains spoilers.

It’s a wrap! The season finale is here, and I have so many emotions about it. This is, by far, my favorite episode. It’s perfectly devastating and shocking. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the most famous episodes of Buffy, but I might be wrong. Let’s jump in.

Recap: Xander practices asking out Buffy with Willow at the Bronze. Buffy fights a vampire as Giles reads the codex, coming across a prophecy that foretells Buffy’s death. An earthquake occurs, rattling the town. The next day Buffy tries to tell Giles her concerns but Giles is too distracted. He and Jenny Calendar discuss an impending apocalypse. Xander asks Buffy out but she rejects him. That night, Buffy overhears Angel and Giles discussing the prophecy, and quits. The next day, Willow and Cordelia find their friends dead in the AV room, and Buffy decides she must face her destiny. She and Giles argue about it, but Buffy knocks him unconscious before going and finding the Anointed One. He leads her to the Master. Meanwhile, Xander and Angel try to put a stop to things while Willow and Jenny go to warn people at the Bronze. They are attacked by vampires but Cordelia comes to save them. The Master kills Buffy and is freed from his prison. As he heads to the school, Xander and Angel find Buffy. Xander revives Buffy and they go to find the Master. Buffy kills the Master, stopping the apocalypse once again. 

Overall Thoughts: Have I mentioned I love this episode? Because I do. There’s a reason why it’s highly regarded, and it really shows. 

First and foremost, there is yet another overarching theme this episode. This episode’s theme plays with something that really isn’t talked about a lot in media -- grief, from the perspective of teenagers. Especially, grieving a loss of innocence. Not that kind of innocence, but innocence nonetheless. There are two examples of this: the scene in which Buffy finds out she’s destined to die, and the scene where Willow tells Buffy about finding the bodies in the AV room. 

The scene where Buffy finds out she’s going to die is one of the most heartbreaking scenes I’ve ever watched. Sarah Michelle Geller is an incredible actress, and it stands out in this moment. When she discovers her fate, Buffy is reasonably upset. She, as she rightly points out, is sixteen years old. There is a specific grief in knowing that you’re going to die, and that is hammered home in this scene. For a moment, it makes you realize how much weight Buffy has on her shoulders, and it forces you to realize that she’s just a teenager who has been tasked with something much larger than most. It’s hard to watch, but I think it’s beautifully executed. 

And then there’s the scene with Willow. I know this scene very well, sometimes I think I’ve lived this scene. If you’re someone who grew up and went to school in the US, I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s that loss of innocence, that sickening feeling in your stomach when someone you know dies. It’s the ever-present feeling people have when they go to school, that this world is not safe for them. It’s tainted. I feel for Willow as she talks about knowing the guys she found, it breaks my heart. It makes it painfully clear that while Buffy shoulders a massive burden, she’s not the only one who gets scathed. The others, particularly Willow, Xander, and Cordelia -- though everyone in Sunnydale experiences it too -- are all faced with loss, especially as they open their eyes to the reality of the world they live in. It’s a great scene, and it plays in an area I think Buffy does some of it’s best work in.

There are a lot of other great things in this episode as well. Jenny solidifies her place in the gang, and Cordelia is making herself there too. They’re actually very important members of the gang, and I’m excited to see more of them. 

We also get to see just how much Giles has come to care for Buffy. It’s chilling to watch, especially when you consider the grief he also experiences in this episode. As their relationship expands, we’ll see more of this. 

This is the episode where the season long groundwork finally pays off. We get to see the Master and Buffy face off in one of the scariest and fascinating scenes ever, and it results in one of the more shocking scenes of the series -- Buffy’s death. I love this a lot, and despite knowing it was coming, I did sort of gasp when it happened. The Master and Buffy have a strange chemistry, but it’s good chemistry. I’m sad we didn’t get to see more of them together.

Overall, I love this episode. I’m ready to move on to other things, but this season has been so fun to watch. 

Characterization: Is it an episode review if I don’t talk about Cordelia’s character? I don’t think so. I don’t actually have a lot to say about her this episode, so I’ll get it out of the way now. I loved Cordy in this episode. She has good rapport with Willow, and she’s the Cordelia I’ve been longing to see all season! She can be mean, yes, but I think it really balances out by how her relationship with Willow is portrayed later in the episode. Not to mention, she holds her own when the vampires come, and I dig it.

Additionally, Xander. Xander is not my favorite character in the long run, and this episode does little to help his case. There’s a moment where I genuinely feel bad for him, because you can see how much he likes Buffy. It’s spoiled quickly though, as not even a minute later he’s lashing out at Buffy for her rejecting him by throwing Angel in her face. It’s not a good look for him. Later, he goes and pouts before Willow shows up. It could have been a really sweet scene, but he ruins it in true “wow I can’t believe this got worse” fashion by insisting he and Willow should go to the dance together. It’s cruel and gross and by far my least favorite scene in the episode.

Speaking of Willow, I have to give her credit. I’ve mentioned countless times how badly I feel for Willow this season, watching her pine after Xander. And the moment that Xander turns his attention to her, I was half expecting her to go for it and not see it for what it was. She surprises me, though, and stands up for herself. I’m proud of her for seeing her worth. 

Facts: In this episode, Buffy begins a trend of having her final words to Giles delivered by someone else. 

This is the first major/central character death we see on screen, but it won’t be the last.

The Master is the only vampire to leave a skeleton behind after their death. 

Quotes: ”What do you think, 5.1?” - The Master

”I’m not ashamed. It’s the computer age, nerds are in.” -Willow Rosenberg

”Giles, I’m sixteen years old. I don’t wanna die.” -Buffy Summers

”I’m not okay. I knew those guys, I go to that room every day. And when I walked in there, it wasn’t our world anymore. They made it theirs…and they had fun.” Willow Rosenberg

Apocalypse Count: 2

Final Notes: As always, feel free to leave any comments, suggestions, or questions in the ask box!

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter - Monday, January 16

AMANDA : What the hell are you talking about? I thought Faith killed a volcanologist. ANDREW : (laughs, lets Rona go, puts down the knife) Silly, silly...Amanda. Why would Faith kill a person who studies Vulcans?

~~Dirty Girls~~

The Sunnydale Herald is looking for at least one new editor. Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! Find out more here.

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

It's A Monster He'll Be (Buffy/Spike, T) by Apache Firecat

Secrets (Buffy/Spike, PG) by Apache Firecat

Os olhos de Satã (Buffy/Spike, M) by vogue91port (vogue91)

The Wolf's Vamp (Teen Wolf crossover, M) by skargasm

[Chaptered Fiction]

Origins Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Niamh

The Goldfish Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

take me home Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by HappyWhenItRains

I Do! Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Dusty

One Thing Right Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by CheekyKitten

Hold My Hand Even Though I'm a Sinner! Chapter 18 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by CheekyKitten

take me home Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by HappyWhenItRains

Slayer (Book One Part Four) Chapter 19 (Marvel crossover, M) by buffynmarvel

[Fandom Discussions]

I’ve often been wondering lately if part of the reason for Angelus’ name change from Angelus to Angel when he goes from evil to good is partly inspired by the Bible by oveliagirlhaditright

There was a Buffy the Vampire Slayer tie-in novel (I think it was “Return to Chaos”, maybe?) where Joyce was having prophetic dreams in that, herself by oveliagirlhaditright

Season 8 was weird by majingojira

Which is Hotter Encounter by AstridDante

Does Riley cheat on Buffy on Into the Woods by Antho

Are Giles and Buffy partly responsible for Faith going evil? by Tank1978

Xander’s Reaction to Buffy’s Sexy Dance by MissChristina

Spander...friendship by AstridDante

Xander is a good guy! by Cotlacy

Does anyone else despise Xander? by PaulParmar1

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chaos Bleeds: the Sonic Blast Spell by Drguyks

Buffy is the inverse of Spider-Man by Alofkri

S4 finale Restless by Nollaf5E5

Watched Prom for the first time by Medium_Cancel_235

What Superheroes could Buffy beat? by manymade1

starting REWATCH...it's been YEARS by bmbmwmfm

I love this scene in Sanctuary by Almighty_Push91

Sarah Michelle Gellar acting is so good in season 6 by CathanCrowell

Reboots are all the rage right now… by typicalkawehi

Such a beautiful moment, no matter how short by AndrewHeard

"In Every Generation" spinoff Buffy book thoughts? by theboyaintright92

Someone asked, so I did a terrible job: a map of Sunnydale by baroqueen1755

Angel Season quality by mooneylupin

Kinda disappointed… by not_another_mom

What's an episode you initially disliked but upon re-watch enjoyed? by Defvac2

Dawn and the Early Seasons by Historical-Capital43

Buffy SE2EP16 Xander seems so out of character here by cala4878

I just watched I Will Remember You in Angel for the first time and I'm a wreck. by MissDizzy52

As much as I love Anya... by Opening_Knowledge868

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[burneddownthegym]

When do you think Buffy and Spike started developing feelings for each other? I think for Spike it started in season 2 which has been kind of confirmed by Dru, but what about Buffy? Their relationship seemed to change after Spike let Glory torture him to protect Dawn, but I like to believe Buffy had unregistered feelings for Spike way earlier. I don’t know what’s true though. She let him live many times when she shouldn’t and that could just be the writers wanting to keep Spike but it could also be read as Buffy not wanting to kill him for some reason. If I were Buffy I would have at least been attracted to him from the start but I’m not Buffy. What do you think?

oh god. i started writing this and it just got more and more unhinged until i was left with a novel. but here’s my headcanon under the cut.

i think for spike it started in season 2, yeah. kind of immediately. i mean in his second episode he already has like ten tv’s mounted on the ceiling to obsessively watch buffy fight? ok weirdo. obviously the writers weren’t planning on spuffy at the time but it all fits with the dru retcon in “fool for love”. i think any feelings he had were super repressed in him for a while though, and were probably closer to obsession than anything (where does one draw the line between obsession and love? much to think about!!). tbh, and maybe this is controversial, i kind of think it’s not until “intervention” that he really understands just how in love with her he is, or what it really means to be in love with her. he definitely thinks he’s in love, he has a raging, identity-crisis crush, but i don’t know, something just feels different after that episode. i feel like it’s when his feelings for buffy really become less about him and more about her. like, less about having her or wanting her to recognize him, and more about wanting to be what she actually needs. less about *loving* buffy and more about loving *buffy*, maybe. so even though his feelings before then are real, they feel real in a different way to me after “intervention”.

buffy is harder. personally, i don’t think she was ever consciously attracted to spike until maybe s5. (buffy being immediately attracted to him in fic is actually a huge pet peeve for me; it doesn’t feel in character at all and can even make me stop reading). i think there was latent attraction, but spike was just so far outside the bounds of who she thought she would be attracted to that it doesn’t register that way (reason #34095 spuffy is a lesbian ship, obv. also it’s why her being attracted to him immediately can turn me off in fic, bc it makes the relationship feel less gay, and that’s kind of important to me). i think she finds him tacky and annoying and lame and just not a sexual object. he’s a soulless vampire and you don’t sexualize those. and so anything sexual she felt toward him she dismissed the way you might dismiss a weird sex dream about someone you’d never want in real life (jane espenson apparently had notes on her desk pre-s5 saying buffy had sex dreams about him, which i totally buy, especially after “something blue”). i think one of the reasons she freaks out so bad in “crush” is that suddenly spike isn’t in the non-sexualizable category anymore. like, what, vampires and slayers are sexualizing each other now? like in real life not just innuendo? you broke the rules, what am i supposed to do now? it’s why she’s so weirded out when he tries to kiss her in “fool for love” and goes on about how people can’t love without a soul in “crush”. spike isn’t fitting his sexual category and she doesn’t know how to deal with it so she tries to stuff him back in. long story short, i think it’s only after “crush” that she actually consciously thinks about his attractiveness, because before then he just wasn’t someone on the table for her to think about that way.

(oh i should also add—i think spike’s “crush” moment with buffy is “who are you?” when faith comes onto him. because it was sort of a similar thing for him. even though he was attracted to buffy before that episode, it was something he repressed or treated as kind of a game. innuendo and eroticism as a battle tactic but not something you’d actually follow through on in real life. but he thinks buffy breaks the rules in “who are you?” and suddenly makes herself real-life sexualizable. so i think his attraction becomes more conscious after that, even if he’s still trying to act like it’s something that disgusts him, like buffy post-“crush”.)

(also, this is why it’s so easy to read violence and murder as sublimated desire in a gay way with spuffy. it’s not really about murder and violence. it’s about them expressing romantic/erotic desire within the bounds of what their roles allow, because they can’t conceive of each other in other roles.)

but i do think buffy did still have some sort of draw to spike before s5. i feel like instinctually she saw him as more of a person than other vampires pretty early. definitely not consciously, and definitely wasn’t love. but she talks to him like he’s a really annoying guy more than she talks to him like some sort of mindless enemy. she doesn’t bother telling other soulless vampires that she violently dislikes them, or mock them about their breakups. i think the only other soulless vampires she sort of treats that way are harmony and holden in cwdp, which makes sense since both of those are vampires she knew before they were vamped. she didn’t kill harmony either, and wasn’t excited about having to kill holden. but spike is the only “stranger” vampire she sees that way, and i think that’s interesting! i think a lot of her conflict over him is due to this too, tbh. he instinctually feels like both a person and not-a-person to her, and that’s hard for her to process.

i have zero canon to back this up, but i think the first time buffy kind of sort of falls in love with spike is in “the gift”, when he says he’d protect dawn until the end of the world. i mainly think this because i don’t think it can be understated how important dawn is to buffy, or how telling it is that she kisses spike in “intervention”. other people have said this, but she just doesn’t kiss people every time they do something nice for her. i don’t think she would have done that unless she felt some sort of latent *something* for him, and unless he’d done something that really deeply affected her. him being willing to sacrifice himself for dawn’s sake, or protect her above all, affects buffy first: because of how self-sacrificing she is. she’s always the one who has to die or put herself on the line for other people. and second: she’s the only one who cares about dawn the way she does. no one else goes into a coma or threatens giles or vows to protect her until the end of the world…except spike.

so the fact that spike would understand the self-sacrificial and protecting-dawn parts of her, or help her with them in the same unthinkingly committed way, when no one else is, i think hits her where she lives. he understands and is not just supporting, but *embodying* this hugely important thing to her at the time when it counts the most. so she falls a bit in love with him. maybe just a second, or a minute, and then she ignores it and saves the world. but that’s the first time it happens.

then as far as s6 goes, i pretty much take buffy at her word when she says she has feelings for him, but that they’re not love. i think she has really intense and confusing emotions around him and for him, but they just don’t cohere into something that could be called something clear-cut like love. and that’s sort of the tragedy of that season? it has all the potential and intensity and chemistry for love, but she doesn’t like or trust herself and she doesn’t trust him, and he isn’t in a place where he can understand the guilt and self-hate she’s going through, or be moral without her guidance, and so in a lot of ways her lack of trust really is justified. so it just can’t quite reach the realness of love, where you want and want to care for the other person’s whole self. but (adding this edit based on a comment by marinxttes!), i totally agree that a lot of her breakup with spike is about her feeling enough for him that it doesn’t feel right to use him anymore. i think that’s the decisive moment when she stops being confused about whether he is or isn’t a person (and whether *she* is or isn’t), and decides he is one. maybe not one she thinks she can love yet, but one she genuinely cares about doing right by, and that’s a huge shift.

i believe her in s7 too when dawn asks if she loves him and she says she feels for him. i don’t know when exactly that whole mess starts cohering into something that really is love for buffy, but i feel like it’s happening the whole season. like air condensing into water. all the pieces have been there, amorphously, for a long time, and finally they’re allowed to take form. so when she says “i love you” in “chosen”, it’s at once something new, and also something that’s been there all along.

[dontwarnthetadpoles]

Best Buffy & Willow platonic and romantic moments: Season 1

I changed the order of the words in the title because the scenes i’m commenting are more platonic than romantic. The romance is mostly an effect of my interpretation and writing at this point (it will be true until season 4). I also removed the end “ love at first sight” for the same reason. It seems more clear to present it this way.   

Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (Episode 5). 

Finally an episode with ambitious writing and a decent budget!  The stakes are upped with a new prophecy, a new enemy raising, and Buffy’s personal life starting to collide with her professional calling as a slayer.    

Let’s focus on Buffy and Willow:

Remember this during Welcome to the Hellmouth?: 

Willow: Oh, I could totally help you out! Uh, if you have sixth period free we could meet in the library? 

Buffy: Or not. Or we could meet someplace quieter. Louder. Uh, that place just kinda gives me the wiggins. 

Willow: Oh, it has that effect on most kids. I love it, though, it's a great collection, and the new librarian is really cool. 

Buffy: He's new? 

Willow: Yeah, he just started. He was a curator at some British museum, or The British Museum, I'm not sure. But he knows everything, and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?

That’s Willow in a nutshell: so very bookwormy and nerdy. I can totally relate.

Someone else who relates to Willow’s passion for books in this episode is Owen, Buffy’s new love interest. He’s obviously a book lover: he goes everywhere with his copy of Emily Dickinson’s complete poems that he enjoys so much that he doesn’t shy from calling it his security blanket in front of the girl he likes. Even Xander who tried to distract Buffy from her gloomy thoughts after she missed a date with Owen, picked up on this detail and said that a lot of guy can read and that he himself can read. 

To draw from this the conclusion that Buffy has a thing for avid readers and serious students and that sweet Willow fits the pattern, is something i won’t shy neither from doing. 

It’s  also worth to note that even Angel’s personality has been retconned later in the show to fit the type: he offered her a poetry book and was seen reading a french philosopher.   

More parallels that make me smile: seems that Buffy has also a seduction technique to approach her crushes. Like waiting for the lunchtime, to see if they are alone and to offer to keep them company. Owen Is just like Willow more than happy to share any time of the day with her.

Meanwhile Willow is working very hard to win the award of the best friend of the year: she supports dutifully Buffy’s amazement at everything that Owen does or says, which (short off topic) made me reconsider the coldness/neutrality of her reaction toward Angel in the last episode. 

Contrary to Xander, she wasn’t much impressed by his looks and seemed more amused by Xander’s jealousy than curious to know more about the mysterious stranger. An important detail for me because i’m a little obsessed with the Angel/Buffy/Willow triangle - it exists mostly in the subtext and my obsession comes from littles clues i see in the script and directing - though the writers stayed very subtle about it.  

How cute did Buffy and Willow look when they were falsely arguing about Owen’s invitation to the Bronze being or not a big deal? On a scale of 1 to 10, they were at level 20. It’s almost a superpower.

 I love especially this dialogue with Giles just after::

Buffy/Willow: What are you talking about?

Giles:What are you talking about?

Buffy/Willow: Boys.

Giles: I'm talking about trouble.     

Boys are indeed trouble but girl friends are safe and loyal, and that’s why Buffy relies on Willow to help her pick an outfit for her 1st date with Owen.

Which leads us to their best scene of the episode: in Buffy’s bedroom. 

This first Willow and Xander visit to Buffy’s house and how they felt immediately at home in her bedroom is the kind of scene written to make you fall in love with the show if it wasn’t already the case. It’s such a pure, wholesome and true moment.

It worked so well on  the young me who was discovering the show and for who invitations and sleepovers were something so hard to be allowed to do because of family rules. In the show, it means promise of intimacy, trust and shared secrets, and that Buffy’s home will be a place to feel protected for my favourite characters. 

And the show didn’t disappoint: the Summer’s house will become for all of them an integral a part of their life. Willow will live literally in it for two years. It was almost a character, just like the town before its destruction.

However beyond the nostalgia, the scene gives me also mixed feelings: 

I loved without hesitation everything about Buffy and Willow having already reviewed and picked her outfit, hair and make up way before Xander arrived. Sharing fashion tips (and shopping too) with your girl friends as a teenager is one of the most satisfying experience. It intensifies the relationship like nothing else. So they clearly have reached a new friendship level here. (Though i wasn’t aware that they were so close that they could change clothes in front of each other. Like how else did Buffy put on her golden/yellow dress!?).

There is in those moments a sense of normality that both Willow and Buffy are craving for different reasons (Willow because her solitude keeps her away from it, Buffy because of her mission). 

But i’m really against her decision to use Xander to test on him what Owen would think of her looks. 

The less depressing interpretation is that Buffy might be trying to show to Willow that she got her message from the last episode (Teacher’s Pet) about her feelings for Xander: 

Willow: No, no, no! See? Xander's, I like his head! I-it's where you find his eyes, and his hair, and his adorable smile...

But Xander is doing the same thing to Willow, and the fact that Buffy who has so much influence on them, joins them in this attitude validates this way of thinking that people can be used if they have feelings for you.

It will complicate their relationship for the rest of the show to the point that 7  seasons later Willow will still think that people won’t stay with her or love her if they don’t need her.   

But back to this episode to conclude: sadly after this point our heroines are taken away from each other and dragged to the land of love triangles, located at the Bronze. While Buffy doesn’t know anymore to who give her attention between Owen and Angel, Willow fakes a date with Xander and meets Angel officially. 

The episode ends with Buffy making a choice to not keep Owen in her life  because of the danger, while she never had the same doubts about Willow (and Xander)...

And though she has very reasonable reasons to not want Owen around, who can blame her to dismiss him and keep Willow close when they both look like this together (their matching colors are making me melt)?

[melonsmessymusings]

Just seen a post about S6&S3 parallels and @rachaeljurassic made some super interesting points in the tags about Giles’ departure and how INFURIATING it is that I really want to expand upon, so I guess this one’s for you :) I get it, the mentor figure needs to be gotten out of the way in order to progress Buffy’s own arc, that’s fine. It narratively makes complete sense, but it was handled badly.

@rachaeljurassic suggested that maybe we could’ve gotten him out of the way with a coma. I vibe with that. Let’s have the head injuries catch up to him and have him totally incapacitated. Big battle, dire injuries, that works. We could still have Buffy spiralling after, but this time she’d be blaming herself because Giles got hurt as a result of her being the Slayer (even though he’d never blame her for it and it isn’t her fault except for like twice). That also works better because it would be more in character than having Giles go “I know you can’t even breathe right now but I’m gonna flake because you need to be a grown up. Even though when I was your age I was raising demons, doing dr*gs and having orgies so like lmao.” Plus, have a couple of gratuitous scenes of a very injured Giles being visited by someone to pepper throughout the season that were pre-recorded so we don’t get confused as to why they wouldn’t be sat there with him at least every now and then to make us cry. Imagine a scene with Buffy in a hospital room watching a ventilator force air into her Watcher to keep him alive and pouring her heart out because she’s terrified with no idea what to do and he always knew and she needs him and just cries. You could even have it where he’s like slowly deteriorating or something and Dark!Willow uses her magic to cure him so that would explain how he just got better and was like... fine.  

I also love the idea of him having a total breakdown after Buffy’s death. I absolutely thrive off him becoming a completely numb droid (he probably was and only bothered to put on façade for the Scoobies but that’s for another day) and the Scoobies decided it’d be better for him to try and find a new purpose in life by sending him to England. We could’ve had like the first episode of them helping him settle with the Coven or something and it’d have been AWFUL to watch, but it would make sense and then when Buffy gets resurrected, they just don’t tell him and they tell Buffy that the grief killed him or something like that? idk... or having them explain that Giles isn’t Giles anymore and he’s doing better (because Tara gets updates from the Coven) but being in Sunnydale was killing him and they never told him that Buffy was resurrected. That wedges the group dynamic enough tbh and would cause Buffy to turn to Spike because he’d have had no clue about anything except that Giles had gone off the bloody rails big time and it was good he was away from this hellhole. 

Family emergency? Let’s be honest, the Giles family are probably scum so I’d buy that way less but it’s still more convincing than what actually happened. 

Another suggestion was having the Council snatch him. I also adore this. That would make sense. But let’s have them make it look like they killed him because I love that. So they send in a team, take him away but make it look like he’s been completely murdered. 

My idea is that they put a glamour or something on a vampire to make it look like Giles (but the audience don’t know this yet) and so Buffy drops by and finds a body that is in every way identical to Giles in a destroyed apartment and just breaks and is like clutching at him or something and there’s blood and its horrendous. Then you could either have swoopy Council guys come in and take Giles away when he ‘wakes up’ as a vampire because “there’s a procedure to this Miss Summers” or have her stake him herself then and there because after Angelus she’s taking no chances. Could you imagine the emotional payoff of that? She then has to go and tell the others, who don’t believe her but they all see the apartment, bloodstains and pile of dust and they all have to cope with the grief of losing him throughout the season in addition to everything else.

But wait! There’s more. Travers ends the episode with a folder in front of him, a report from the team that carried out the operation and smiles saying something evil like “I warned her of dealing with grown ups” so the audience all thinks that Giles got offed by the Council. 

BUT REALLY Giles was taken and held in a like prison facility thing, very much alive. Then we get like a showdown of Giles chained to a chair in this cell being forced to watch the video footage of the whole operation and Travers telling him that it’s over and his oh so precious Slayer will end up killing herself with guilt/grief and the Council can have a new start because they’re going to off Faith too. And the last shot is Giles crying in a dank hole.

As far as the audience goes: imagine having Giles showing up at the end of S6 if THAT had been the departure? It’s already an “AAAAAHHHHHH HOLY SHIT!” moment but it’d be magnified tenfold. Then Buffy being completely confused because “I killed you!” then having that moment when she ends up hugging him and he’s warm and breathing and not dead. And Dark!Willow being really confused but trying to kill him anyway because if he was alive all this time why didn’t he come back? That’s when we get the scene with Giles watching what happened on the monitor. Everyone is confused and Giles explains that the Council kept him in one of their facilities and now Buffy feels sick because she’s like “they tortured you... for months!” and Giles is like “Well yeah but it’s fine because I’m here now and I’m so sorry for abandoning you all.” Still can have Evil Willow being evil and Xander saving the day. I don’t care that much but we could’ve had this worked in.

Because the Council would’ve tortured him for fun. Not necessarily physically but they would’ve paraded him around as the example of what happens if you don’t toe the line. They could’ve completely humiliated him and it caused like cracks in the Council because some of them hate that Travers is abusing his power like this on one of their own and others finding it good that such a strong message is being sent. At which point, Travers would give the order for the Special Ops team to start the beatings. Of course, Giles is used to having the seven bells kicked out of him, but to be used as a training dummy by other human beings? They’d practice on him and that’s as far as I think the physical side of it would go, the rest would be mental/emotional torture. Or having hexes/curses tested on him and all the while, Giles genuinely wants them to kill him because everyone he cares about already thinks he’s dead so it makes no difference if it’s the reality. All the while, he’s being kept vaguely up to date with the events of Sunnydale so that he can hear how his Slayer is edging closer into just giving up and it breaks his heart. So Giles spent a year either being locked in a cell translating texts or being used as a punchbag to teach the S.O. team how to interrogate people. That’s how I see it going anyway. We could’ve seen like flashbacks of parts of it in S7 or something idk.

That would explain why he’s so distant in S7. Because he was kept prisoner for almost a year by the people who practically raised him (because the Council kind of did) and how that would mess anyone up and the First tormenting him about how he should’ve gone through with any attempts to end it instead of being a coward because Buffy doesn’t need him and she already thought he was dead. 

I dunno if this is actually what you were going for but it’s where my mind went and it would’ve given Tony Head something really juicy to do by playing a slightly crazed version of Giles who freaks out if there’s more than five people in the room because a year of living on your own in the dark drove him mad. He would’ve completely nailed it. Way better than sitting there going, “I’m headed back to England, and I plan to stay indefinitely”. Ugh we were robbed.

[takaraphoenix]

I don’t usually talk about Angel. But damn if s12 of Buffy didn’t leave me with something to say. They really fucked him over in the comics.

I mean, season 8 alone. Just. Holy shit. Making Angel - not Angelus - the main villain throughout the season. Pulling a half-hearted “he was being manipulated into it though :/”, which... I just... “here, you can have superpowers and you will get to bang Buffy” is not really... I don’t... I just...

In the confrontation between Angel and Buffy and the resulting banging, it’s really made clear that he made those choices. The ones that led to literally hundreds of dead people. He was presented with this weird premise by Twilight and he took it and he became Twilight. He chose that, that’s made clear when Twilight actually starts mind-controlling him - because that would not have been something necessary if Twilight had already been controlling his mind.

And then they set it up like Angel and Buffy are these epic actual soulmates, destined to be together by the universe itself. And you think. Okay. So we’re going with Bangel endgame then? And in such a large scale? Wow.

But lol nope mindcontrolled Angel kills Giles and will then be shipped off the series and Buffy will not be able to even look at him again until Giles is resurrected.

This bad boy can fit so much angst already. Was it... necessary to make him feel guilty for killing Giles too? I mean, yes, of course it was, because otherwise Whedon would have to make an actual choice on an endgame romance and he clearly is allergic to the very concept. And after making them soulmates, it had to be something huge and impactful to Buffy herself. So, let’s kill her father-figure in front of her eyes.

In the following continuity, everyone just... pretends that Angel was being controlled all along. And. I guess you have to because otherwise you’d have to hold Angel accountable for the hundreds of people he killed. And that’d be incredibly contradictive to the character, right?

Know what’d have solved that? Not making Angel kill hundreds of people so he can have a Buffy-paradise. It’s that easy. The choice to make Angel the guy who’d been killing Buffy’s Slayers all year long was... an objectively bad one? And let’s not dive into how ridiculous and stupid the whole “the universe wants you two to fuck to give birth to a new universe that will appear as a green lion on fire with wings”, that’s beside the point for this post. (Still had to bring it up though; seriously, just, go with an entirely different concept for s8? Save us from the ridiculousness and Angel from the character assassination. The military, Amy and Warren would have been enough villains to deal with. Didn’t need an “end of the universe” kind of stakes to begin with.)

At this point, I gotta admit I have not (yet) read the Angel & Faith comics. So I’m out of the loop on what they did for, or to, Angel. They helped him resurrect Giles, so yay on that.

This moment from season 10 really stood out for me. Because yeah. You keep setting him back. Angel finally gets his act together and falls in love with Buffy. He has sex with her for the first time and literally loses his soul. He gets sent to a hell dimension and has to crawl his way back to sanity and when he does. We. Uh. Break him and Buffy up for... honestly I don’t think there was even the most whimsical of excuses for that, but he packs it up and leaves for Los Angeles. He finally has a shot at happiness with Cordelia, he was really falling in love with her... whoops we killed her, she’s a higher being now, but also we bring her back so she can be an incubator and have sex with Angel’s son. Which also; we let him have a baby but then the baby gets stolen and raised into a dysfunctional teenager in a hell dimension. We make Angel and Buffy soulmates but we also make him kill Giles and then literally never bring up the possibility of them being a romantic couple again, even though there could have been an angle to work with there.

He’s still the same brooding, miserable sod he’s been a century ago. Because every time that the character gets even just a hint at happiness, it gets snuffed out, validating all of his fears and doubts that keep him in his brooding, sad state.

Season 12 sees him return then and... he’s... with... Illyria now? Can’t really judge how that relationship is since it happens off-screen from the BtVS comics, though I do have... doubts. What with Illyria having been Fred and... now... being Fred part-time due to magic shenannigans. Having a physical relationship with someone who looks like your old friend who died seems already questionable enough without that dead friend getting front-row seats.

Quite frankly, if anything, I was kind of expecting Angel/Faith to be the outcome of the Angel & Faith comics. What with Hollywood’s inability to have A Man and A Woman be paired up without them being paired up. Not to mention, their long history of second chances, starting when Angel quite literally chose Faith over Buffy, when Buffy was out for revenge and Angel protected her from Buffy. So while the BtVS comics were busy setting Spike/Buffy up as a happy relationship, I kind of thought that Angel/Faith would bring... a sense of happiness to Angel and be where that comic series was headed.

That he instead ended up with the ancient god that possesses one of his friends was, once again, a choice. But sure, if Illyria makes him happy. Oops, no, nevermind, season 12 sacrifices Illyria for the greater good and leaves Angel alone. Again.

And that’s it. That’s the absolute ending of things. Angel’s latest girlfriend gets banished to hell with no intel on whether or not she’ll be able to return.

I was already mad about Buffy being screwed over and denied a romantic happy ending in a separate post, but the fact that they gave Angel a romance that seems to make him happy and then banish his partner to hell before the show wraps for good is just... really messed up.

And it didn’t even happen for the sake of pulling a “whoops, Bangel endgame after all”, it’s all very vague and left in the open and everyone is Just FriendsTM and no romantic decisions are being made.

Which is usually something I find satisfying because I like to make the choices myself in the aftermath, but they’ve been taking every little bit of happiness away from Angel over and over and over again and quite frankly, I would have much rather seen him happy, smiling, in Illyria’s arms, than sitting alone brooding in the basement because Illyria got banished to hell.

I understand that the brooding seriousness is an important trademark trait of Angel’s. But... you’re allowed to let him be happy and he’d be allowed to grow emotionally. Or, at the very least, let him be happy in the very end.

[sparkandwolf]

Without passion, we'd be truly dead (read on ao3)

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale Rating: General Summary: “You’re not going to make fun of me for this, are you?” Derek asked as his thumb hesitated over the play button on the remote. Stiles shrugged and grabbed the controller, pressing play before Derek could argue.

“I am absolutely going to make fun of you for this, there’s no doubt in my mind.” Derek’s groan was drowned out by a British voice introducing the next episode and Stiles moved his focus to the recap, trying to take in the things he might have missed from not watching the show from the beginning.

For @sterekvalentineweek day six: Passion

“I can’t believe you’ve never seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” Derek exclaimed as Stiles popped open a bag of Cheetos, barely escaping the puff of powder that breezed out. “Scott and Isaac have both referred to you as the ‘resident nerd’ and you’ve never seen the cult classic that is Buffy the Vampire Slayer?” Derek shook his head and clicked over to one of the streaming services and a very badly edited photo of Sarah Michelle Gellar came into view. 

“I saw the movie! Doesn’t that count for anything?” Stiles asked. By the displeased look on Derek’s face, Stiles figured that it very much, in fact, did not count. “It definitely doesn’t strike me as the kind of show you would be interested in,” Stiles noted, hoping the change in subject would force Derek to stop glaring at him. 

“It wasn’t, at first, but it--” Derek cut himself off and leaned his head back against the back of the couch, taking a breath as if preparing himself to make some big admission. Stiles stayed quiet as Derek rubbed his palms against his thighs. “Laura loved it. She and my mother would watch it every Monday night and Laura had these ridiculous posters on her wall of Buffy and Willow and--” Derek cleared his throat and Stiles could hear the emotion behind it. 

When he said nothing more, Stiles chimed in, “So, are we watching it from the beginning or are you gonna show me your favorites?” Derek turned to Stiles with a grin so wide, it had Stiles’ heart constricting in his chest and his stomach face flushing with embarrassment. He wasn’t sure when he had become able to make Derek smile like that, but he was extremely happy he could. 

“I think you’ll never wanna watch another episode if we start with season one so…” Derek trailed off and clicked through a few episodes, his eyebrows rising and falling and his nose crinkling in decision. Stiles had never seen him look so childish, so innocent, and all he wanted to do was watch this stupid TV show with Derek forever. 

“Find one?” Stiles guessed and Derek turned to him with another wide grin. Derek grabbed the bowl of popcorn from the coffee table, settling in as he nodded at Stiles slowly. 

“If you have questions, you can--”

“I’m gonna ask about a million of them,” Stiles interrupted, taking a noisy bite of his first Cheeto and stealing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on Derek’s lap. “You’ve gotta have all the answers, though,” Stiles warned, holding a cheesy finger up to Derek’s face. Derek rolled his eyes and smacked it away, Stiles’ laughter filling the air. 

“You’re not going to make fun of me for this, are you?” Derek asked as his thumb hesitated over the play button on the remote. Stiles shrugged and grabbed the controller, pressing play before Derek could argue. 

“I am absolutely going to make fun of you for this, there’s no doubt in my mind.” Derek’s groan was drowned out by a British voice introducing the next episode and Stiles moved his focus to the recap, trying to take in the things he might have missed from not watching the show from the beginning. 

“Passion; it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl,” Stiles heard the voice of the broody looking guy on TV, but underneath was a shy whisper and when he glanced over at Derek, he threw his hands over his mouth to stifle his giggles. 

“Derek, oh my god,” Stiles choked out through his laughter, placing his snack beside him before it toppled over. 

“What? It’s an iconic quote!” Derek argued. Stiles nodded and tried to be serious - he really tried - but Derek mouthed the next few words as if trying to hold them in and Stiles groaned. 

“Just say them,” Stiles relented as he paused the show, turning to face Derek who was pressing his lips together tightly. 

“You’re going to make fun of me…” Derek said, narrowing his eyes at Stiles. 

“Of course I’m going to make fun of you, but I’m gonna do it whether you say the rest of the quote out loud or not, realistically,” Stiles countered. Derek sighed and pressed play again, his eyes not leaving Stiles’ as the male character started speaking. 

“It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have?” Derek finished as the extraordinarily loud and obnoxious theme music blasted through the speakers. Stiles covered his ears and glared at Derek whose laughter rivaled the shrill of the guitar. 

“If I didn’t know this was a 90’s television show, this music would have completely given it away,” Stiles commented as the sound faded into the show again. 

“Just… keep watching,” Derek demanded, though his voice sounded shy. It was as if he was scared that Stiles wouldn’t like it and that made Stiles fall in love - with the show that is - even more. 

Throughout, Stiles would make comments so that Derek knew he was paying attention. He would shout out, “He killed her fish? Man, that’s so fucked up” and, “That crazy vampire girl talks in riddles like Deaton.” Each time, Derek would nod in response, chuckle, and smile. He would even glance over and make sure Stiles was paying attention if he was quiet for too long. Sometimes, Derek would even chime in with his own comments. 

“There’s something messed up about this teacher, but I mean, that might be some leftover Beacon Hills High School trauma.” 

“You think?” Derek commented with a huff, clearly remembering the weird amount of evil teachers that made their way into Stiles’ classrooms. Derek had always hated them the most as they spent more time around the pack than he was able to. He had never admitted that out loud, but Stiles knew it was true.

“I want Joyce to punch him,” Stiles noted, cheering when Buffy and Willow came into view, chanting words that sounded like something Lydia would say. “Oh my god, did she just devamp the house? I wish I could do that with werewolves,” Stiles teased, holding his arms up in defense when Derek flicked his nose.  

“You can, you idiot, it’s called mountain ash,” Derek retorted, reaching over Stiles to grab a few Cheetos. Stiles pretended not to notice that they were closer than they ever had been. 

When the episode turned more serious than Stiles had expected, he curled into Derek’s side and shoved his cheek into his warm chest. It wasn’t that he was scared, but he didn’t think that Jenny was about to make it out of there alive due to supernatural circumstances and that hit a little too close to home. When Angel broke her neck, Stiles turned his face away as Derek’s hand settled against the back of his head, brushing through the short strands comfortingly. 

There was sadness filling his stomach as the cute British librarian walked up the stairs and the music swelled. When he glanced up at Derek, there was a tear falling down his cheek. Even still, he whispered the words that left Angel’s lips, “Passion is the source of our finest moments; the joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief.”

They stayed pressed together like that, neither of them making a move to turn away. Stiles listened to the steady beat of Derek’s heart and the way it jumped during more action filled moments. When the too long silence made him jittery, Stiles spoke again, knowing his words would tick Derek off enough to argue. 

“You know, Xander has a point,” Stiles stated after Xander said exactly what he was thinking. Someone should have really murdered Angel before, but Stiles guessed there was something he was missing. 

 “Are you kidding? Buffy is right and Giles is going to get himself killed if he doesn’t think about his act--!” Derek paused a few moments before sighing, “Wait, that is exactly what you would do.” Stiles grinned at him and nodded. 

Stiles loved the easy way they bickered back and forth on the plot Derek seemed to understand down to the most minuscule detail. He loved the way Derek related to the characters, felt for their losses and their grievances. He knew, even after only one episode, why Derek had been so attached to the show. It was beyond a familial memory, that much Stiles was sure of. When Angel’s voice narrated again, Stiles gazed up from where his head had rested on Derek’s lap for the last few minutes. 

Again, Derek whispered the words, “It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace, but we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank.” Derek seemed to tear his eyes away from the show and they met Stiles’ with just as much passion as he was speaking about, and finished, “Without passion, we'd be truly dead."

Stiles thought his heart stopped at the intensity of Derek’s gaze and the softness of his voice and realized that Derek was bearing his soul to Stiles by showing him that bit of his past. He was letting Stiles in, hoping Stiles would take the invitation openly, and asking him to stay. 

“Did you like it?” Derek asked hesitantly as if scared of the answer. 

Stiles pursed his lips and pretended to think about his answer before deciding, “Can we watch it from the beginning?” 

[winifredsandersonsbitch]

Stripper with a Heart of Gold

Spike x Reader, BTVS

Warnings: minor spoilers for S5, cursing, PG-13 action but nothing else.

Description: Spike promised you he’d get the money, so he picks up a job. You’re out with your coworkers when you catch him in the middle of his shift at the Sunnydale Strip. It’s more than a little awkward.

Clearly, I have a thing for bad boys who offer financial security 😫

When you come in for the night, Spike’s waiting. He’s been slipping twenties in your pocket lately like you wouldn’t notice (who else but Giles has that kind of cash?) and you haven’t brought it up despite your guilt. You really need the help. Keeping the three people in your household fed + all of your frequent visitors is expensive, especially because Buffy burns through so many calories daily. Plus the water bill, the electric bill, and all of the crazy damages that you have to somehow try to budget for in your monthly expenses...

Tonight he follows you up to your bedroom while the girls are downstairs watching TV and closes the door behind you.

“Spike, if you think—”

There’s a huge wad of cash in the hand he holds out to you. For a moment, you can only blink at it, mystified.

“Take it. It’s for you.”

You reach out for it as if in a trance, then recoil like you’ve touched something scalding.

“I don’t know what game you’re playing at, but I can’t accept this,” you say, but it comes out quiet and not at all assertive.

“I want you to have it.”

There’s a little furrow between his eyebrows that deepens when you pull away. He doesn’t understand you. He’s seen you at the diner, working yourself to the bone, plastering on a smile for all of the customers even when they cross a line. You hate it there, but you do it for the money. Now he’s offering you enough to get through the whole month, as long as there are no surprise visitors, and you won’t take it.

“I don’t like to be indebted to anyone.” You’re shaking slightly from exhaustion and the unexpected gift, so you lower yourself onto your bed and clasp your hands in your lap.

“No, you’re worried about where I got it from. Isn’t that right, pet?” He sits down next to you, placing the money on your nightstand and patting it twice. “There. Now it’s passive. You don’t have to take anything, I just left you an early birthday present.”

“Spike.”

“I got a job, all right?” He turns your face to his, examines the bags under your eyes. “You’re not the only one with a work ethic around here.”

“I can’t support you going back into smuggling. Or gambling. Or—”

“It’s an honest job. I work the night shift. That’s why I haven’t been around so much lately.”

You hadn’t noticed, if you were being honest. You were too busy trying to keep everyone you loved alive and fed. Maybe that was his point.

He strokes the side of your cheek with his thumb and it’s an effort not to lean in, to pick up where the two of you left off only the week before.

Was this what he had been like with Drusilla?

You force yourself to pull away, removing his hand from your face and threading your fingers through his to keep him still. He’s been so touchy recently. You can’t trust your reaction to it.

“If that’s true, it’s still not right of me to take it from you if you’re under any impression about—” You swallow. Your palm starts to sweat under his. “We’re not— I mean, I can’t ever— I know we’ve been close recently and if that’s the reason why you’re giving me this, because you think it’s going to make us... if you think what happened last time is going to be some kind of recurring thing—”

He’s watching you stumble with open amusement, without any indication that he’s going to come in and save you from yourself.

“If this money is meant romantically, I can’t accept it,” you say finally. “I don’t want the strings attached.”

“Full of ourselves, are we?” he asks, slipping his hand out of yours. The loss of contact seems to bother you more than him.

He heads for the door, leaving the money next to you. You skim the bills with your fingers as if possessed, almost salivating at the thought of relative financial security. You could get your friends real presents for Christmas and focus on paying off your loans with your next paycheck. Maybe even—

He catches you in the act and you jerk back guiltily. Spike only shakes his head. Then he stuffs his hands in the pockets of his jacket and his smile slips.

“You and I both know that money is the last thing you need to be worrying about right now, what with Glory after the little bit.”

He’s right, but you’re not happy about it. You make up your mind. You try to keep your expression neutral as you hand him back the bills. He can’t know what it’s costing you to turn this down.

“I can take care of it,” you say. You look him in the eye. “I will take care of it. Thank you, Spike, but I don’t want your help.”

“It’s hard for you to lower yourself to my level when you don’t know how long I’ll be around.”

The observation makes you blink and the cash crumples as you ball up your fists. He’s right, but how dare he say it?

Spike places his hands on your shoulders to keep you from charging. You have the same look on your face that Buffy gets right before she slams him up against the wall and rattles his brains.

“I get it. I’m still the same old evil Spike who’s tried to kill you and your friends so many times we’ve lost count. But I’ve got this chip in my head and I’m bloody bored anyway, so let me do something for the one person in this house I can stand, all right?”

You’re wavering, but it’s not enough. Your hand just opens and closes on the cash robotically as you try to process what you’re hearing, calculate the odds of this self-destructing, decide what the right thing means in a situation like this. Before you can revise your morals to fit, Spike goes in for the kill.

“You said once that we were friends for now. That as long as I wasn’t killing people and wanted to hang out, you’d be there, because you thought everyone had the capability to do good. You thought you could change me.” He’s fond of this memory. You can hear it in his voice that he still thinks it’s bullshit, but it gives him the warm fuzzies anyway. “I don’t care about the world or the superfriends or the ethics of vampirism. I care about you. If we’re friends like you say, let me do this for you.”

You open your mouth and then close it, like a very stupid fish. Spike chuckles and pats you on the head the way you might soothe a puppy.

“If it would help you to believe this is the first step in me developing some kind of moral compass, go right on ahead, love.”

——

You had only started your day job about a month ago and you were only working part time, but you know how important it is to make friends in the workplace. So when they finally invited you out for the night, you were ecstatic.

They told you there was a bar just off the highway that they liked to frequent. We’ll carpool, they said. You’ll love it, they said.

It’s a strip club.

Fluorescent lights stripe across the top of the building, supporting a flashing sign with a topless girl with tasteful silver stars over her nipples. The bouncer at the door has definitely done hard drugs at some point and the music blasting from inside is deafening even out in the parking lot.

After a moment’s hesitation, you roll with it. You know how to relax, even if everyone else thinks otherwise. You can play the necessarily part, share giggles with the others as you watch the show. You can slam back tequila shots and find it in you to order a round for the table. This is an opportunity, you tell yourself, to pretend everything’s normal for a night.

The “bouncer,” who is probably only there to flatter the older customers by checking their ID, lets you all through and your coworkers drag you to seats in the front. There are poles at various stages sprinkled casually throughout the main area and scantily clad men and women are visiting tables. Every so often, they lead a patron into the back for a private dance.

You’re not a total innocent, but it’s still hard to keep yourself from blushing as you walk past them, unsure if you should make eye contact or not. It’s been awhile since you were anywhere remotely as recreational as this. It’s harder than you thought to shake off your big sibling persona, so you head to the bar with Marie and bring the first round of drinks back to the table.

“This place is special,” she tells you, sipping her Cosmo. She pats your hand in a way that’s near maternal, though she’s only older by two years. “It takes a little getting used to at first, but don’t be scared.”

“Scared?” you laugh. The scariest thing you see is a guy sitting in the back corner trying to coax over a stripper who clearly knows better. You could take him, if it comes to it. Easy.

“It’s a Sunnydale special, that’s all. But it’s a clean business. Perfectly safe, as long as you follow the rules.”

You’re about to ask what those would be when one of the dancers slips off the pole and bites a customer. You bolt from your seat, searching for anything stake-like, but Cara rises to put a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, relax. It’s okay. Watch.”

Watch? That vamp is going to drain that girl dry, you can’t just sit back and—

The dancer removes herself after about thirty seconds, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and blowing her partner a kiss. The girl’s table congratulates her with wolf whistles, slamming back another round of drinks.

“See?” Cara says. You sink down slowly, still watching wide-eyed. “You have to pay extra for biting, but it’s worth it.”

Gina puts a cool hand to your forehead. “Are you feeling all right, sweets? I know it’s a little different, but you said you’d lived in Sunnydale for years. We figured you were familiar with the undead populace.”

“I was.” You’re a little dazed. Mentally beating back your fight-or-flight reflex with a shovel. “I mean, I am. Only not like this.”

“Capitalism at its finest,” Marie sighs.

“Yeah, it’s regular symbiosis,” you agree absent-mindedly.

Things were so much easier when you were helping Buffy kill demons outright. All this moral gray is confusing as hell.

“Everything all right, ladies?”

Oh, shit.

The lighting is low so you duck your head and pray that he doesn’t see you cowering behind Gina, but luck is not on your side today. Cara has decided you’re being too uptight.

“I’d like to buy a private dance for my friend,” she purrs, pointing a manicured finger to you. “They’re new, so be gentle.”

“I’ll do my best,” he says with a wink, making the girls giggle. “What’s your name, love?”

Then his eyes meet yours and you inhale a breath that catches in your throat. Gina elbows you, like Hot, right? You elbow her back and pray he chooses not to embarrass you.

Spike’s pupils are blown. He’s tucked into nothing but tight black briefs and a tie that hangs down to his navel. The rest of him is laid bare for your view and you are really, really trying not to look.

After a beat of surprise, he takes your hand and pulls you out of your seat to lead you to the VIP area in the back. The girls are calling out behind you to have fun, already chatting up another stripper.

He sits you down in an open booth. On the other side of this smaller, darker room, there’s another vampire with a customer. She waves at Spike and then continues gyrating on her guy’s lap as he pours out all of his problems about his ex-girlfriend.

“I didn’t know you worked here, I swear,” you whisper, turning your attention back to him. “I wouldn’t have come if I did.”

“I don’t mind, pet.” He lowers himself onto you before you can protest, leaning in close. You swallow hard. “Your friends seem fun.”

“They’re coworkers, really. This is the first time we’ve been out together. I didn’t know we were coming to a, um, club.”

“I believe you.”

He’s steadying himself with his hands on your shoulders now, his breath ghosting over your face. He’s been surprisingly sweet about this so far, but there’s a bite to him. He’s still, as he frequently reminds you, evil. He’s taking this opportunity to demonstrate it.

“You’re tense, love.” His knees spread to either side of you and he rises up on them so that his chest is level with your face. You have to tilt your chin up to look at him. To make sure you look at nothing else. “Let me help. After all, we want your friend to get her money’s worth.”

He’s so close that he’s practically on top of you as he moves, swaying his hips back and forth, squeezing his knees to the outside of your thighs to keep him steady. It doesn’t matter that nothing below the waist actually come into contact with your skin. You can feel it. Him. Tremors shoot through your nerves as he leaves behind any semblance of stuffy British politeness and grinds down on you, grinning wickedly the whole time, like all roads lead to him and this club, like he somehow planned the whole thing. Then he leans back and holds out the end of his tie to you and you make a decision. You tug him towards you.

He’s everywhere, insistently parting your lips to slip his tongue in, knotting his hands in your hair, making you moan in a way that’s still completely indecent, despite the setting. Your eyes close and you briefly wonder if the other vampire and her client are still here, if they’re enjoying the show, but then you can’t think of anything except him.

His fingers begin to massage your lower thigh, creeping upward to trace the sensitive skin left exposed by your very short shorts. He’s drawing hearts, but you’re certain it’s not love he’s thinking of. It’s about blood. Isn’t it always?

“Wear these to tease me?”

“You wish,” you pant. You keep your palm wrapped around his tie like it’s the lifeline between the two of you, the only thing keeping you from drifting off into space. He presses back into you, this time giving you a taste of the show everyone else comes to see.

There’s nothing tender about this part. It’s gasping and bruising and pent-up frustration, maybe on your side more than his. It’s harsh, consuming. It feels like you’re being swept out to sea by a riptide. There’s no life vest in sight.

Then you’re coming down from your high and he’s working you through it, murmuring to you about how rightly jealous your friends are going to be at the bright hickey on your neck. He’s taking care of you, just like he said he would.

He smells like graveyard dirt and cinnamon. You’d make some quip about it being the cologne of the season among undead strippers, but you have to focus on breathing.

You’re disgusted with yourself. You’re elated. It’s confusing, but there’s no doubt that you’re disappointed when he takes his thumb to swipe away a strand of saliva that’s been left hanging and pulls away.

He untangles himself from you, leaving your lips pink and swollen and glistening, and tugs you out of the booth.

“Your friends will be wondering where you are,” Spike says. He’s sweating a little. You can see it beading on his chest. You’re proud. You caused that.

“And you need to get back to work.” You straighten your top, combing through your hair with your fingers, trying to compose yourself when you don’t know if you’ll ever be fully coherent again. You don’t know the etiquette for situations like this anymore, so you offer him a half-smile and stuff your hands in your pockets. “I’m sure the club’s missing their best dancer.”

He’s never been one for humility, so he just nods. He can’t help biting his cheek in satisfaction as you walk past him, all hot and bothered, hair mussed and cheeks pinkened. He did that.

When you get back to your table, your coworkers demand to know all the dirty details, although they’re busying themselves with throwing money at one of the pole dancers.

Spike stops by on his way to another table with some excuse about returning your bracelet, which he no doubt stole off your wrist during your “dance” for this exact purpose. He folds it into your palm, then bends to whisper in your ear.

“I’ll come by the house after my shift.”

Your friends practically swoon.

[revchainsaw]

Buffy: the Vampire Slayer (1997)

Season 1

Hello and Welcome back my creepy congregation! We will be taking todays service from the Big Screen into your living room for our first Personal Devotional. That's Right! We're reviewing full seasons of television series now and what better way to bring the spirit of the genre film to the idiots lantern that with the 90s Television sensation and all around love letter to the horror genre, Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

The Message

Regardless of how one may feel about Mr. Whedon we can't deny how much we love Buffy Summers and the Kids who live and die in Sunnydale! Season one of Buffy was a spin off/reboot of the earlier film and an attempt by Whedon to course correct the franchise by breathing a little charm and attention into the subject matter.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Season 1) focuses on Buffy Summers, a not so typical California high school student who, due to the events of the movie, has been relocated to Sunnydale High. Buffy is not just a cute, athletic, teenage girl looking to enjoy the prime of her life, though she is those things, she is also the Slayer, an anointed warrior who has been reincarnated throughout the generations to protect our vulnerable weak human world from the forces of evil; particularly Vampires. Buffy is a sort of supernatural Captain America, that is a peak human being, but instead of Nazi Science she was born with her powers.

Joining Buffy are; High School outcasts Willow and Xander (a nerd and a nice guy respectively), The ridiculously sexy librarian Rupert Giles (her mentor, guardian, high school librarian, and all around precious papa bear), Jenny Calendar (a technopagan computer teacher armed with all the mystery an ignorant 90s boomer could attribute to the internet), Angel (Spoiler: He's a Vampire, but he's a good guy. A hunky, broody, good guy vampire love interest), and her loving but entirely oblivious mother. The Scoobies as they have come to be called aid Buffy in her quest to protect Sunnydale from Dark Forces.

And Speaking of those Dark Forces, they are primarily vampires, led by the Master; an ancient vampire who resembles to some degree Nosferatu and a Bat, a look that Guillermo Del Toro would later perfect in his own series the Strain. The Master seeks to fulfill an ancient prophecy that would open the Hellmouth (a portal to hell, exactly what it sounds like) and free him in order that he and his kind should conquer the world.

The first season is fairly short consisting of the following adventures.

1. Welcome to the Hellmouth - Buffy moves to Sunnydale seeking to leave her Vampire ways behind, but the vampires just won't let her catch a break.

2. The Harvest - Vampire Shenanigans continues. Buffy learns of the Master.

3. Witch - A fellow Cheerleader is possessed by her witchy mom.

4. Teachers Pet - Buffy vs Giant Mantis

5. Never Kill a Boy on the First Date - Buffy vs the Anointed One (Not Really)

6. The Pack - Buffy vs Hyena Possessed High School Bullies

7. Angel - Buffy vs Angel but actually Darla

8. I, Robot ... you, Jane - Buffy vs Internet Demon

9. The Puppet Show - Buffy and Sid the Dummy vs Organ Harvesting Demon

10. Nightmares - Buffy has bad dreams

11. Out of Mind, Out of Sight - Buffy vs Invisible Nerd

12. Prophecy Girl - Buffy vs The Master (also Buffy Dies)

Overall the short season, while not allowing for too much world building, kept the show to a format that allowed very little filler. So although we mostly only get vampires as villains, we don't have enough time to really be bored of it. Some of the shows dynamics and cultural concerns definitely date the series but overall Season 1 of Buffy is definitely not a difficult watch, and can be enjoyed over and over again.

Let's get to the Benediction:

Best Character: Slay Girl, Slay!

As far as season one goes the titular Buffy Summers is the best character. Sarah Michelle Gellar is absolutely charismatic in the lead role and though at times she may seem selfish or reckless it makes perfect sense for the character. The character is allowed to be weak, to be selfish, and to be unlikeable. She avoids the foibles of a Luke Skywalker or a Harry Potter. She joins the ranks of primary protagonists who are not constantly outshined by their supporting cast. I believe when Buffy is sad, I believe when she throws a punch, I believe she struggles with her destiny. The only thing I don't believe is how ditsy she let's on.

Best Actor: Head's Up!

Anthony Stewart Head. Head as Giles is just fantastic. His balance of frustration with Buffy and genuinely parental concern is heartwarming and absolutely makes Giles one of the warmest father figures in television history.

Best Episode: A 'Master'ful Finale

It all builds up to Prophecy Girl and for good reason. Television shows often have mini-finale's at the end of their first seasons because the teams behind the series are not sure they will have a chance to tell more of their story. For that reason you can see just the first season of most television series and feel like you've heard the whole deal. I wish this habit was kept up in other seasons as we wouldn't still be wondering what the hell happened to Joel at the end of the Santa Clarita Diet. Buffy is no exception to this phenomenon and therefor attempted to tie up much of it's narrative in Prophecy Girl. While that often means big bads will be dispatched, I think it's a small price to pay for not winding up in a cliff hanger. Buffy and Giles just shine in this episode, Angel is given a more heroic role, Willow finally values herself as she should and Xander stops being a fucking horrible human being for once. This episode really satisfies in all areas.

Best Villain: Sweet, Sweetheart Killer

It's such a shame that Darla was killed so early on in the franchise. She is such a great presence on the screen that she overshadows all the villains that play alongside her, even the Master. I would have loved to have seen an alternate season where she offs the old coot and assumes the role of big bad much like Spike does in Season 2. Lucky for everyone that Darla is featured throughout the show in flashbacks and I hear she is even resurrected in Angel. Also, for Scott Pilgrim fans I feel like she and Envy Adams are very much sympatico. Maybe if they reboot Buffy all my dreams will come true.

I'd also like to take this time to recommend the song Angels and Darlas by Say Hi! It's pretty good.

Best Monster Design: Internet Troll!

While I can't speak for where the money in Season 1 of Buffy went, I can say that at least some decent cash was spent on both the forms of Moloch the Corruptor from the Episode "I, Robot ... You, Jane". Moloch was pretty wicked looking as a machine toward the end of the episode, he looked like a Mortal Kombat villain, but it's the green scales and ram horns the actor is sporting at the beginning of the episode that really catches the eye. In fact, I'm feeling compelled to hunt down any Moloch the Corruptor merch that may be out there on the internet. It's certainly no mystery why the demon's face is featured prominently in the theme song. It just looks great! Good job to the make up department there.

Most WTF moment: "Pack"s a Punch on Principle

While not the greatest episode in season one "the Pack" is certainly worth the watch if for no other reason than the horror is kicked up when a group of high school students under the influence of a malevolent Hyena God, decide that the School Mascot is not enough to satisfy their bloodlust turn on the principal, and yes, THEY EAT HIM. I remember being completely caught of guard the first time I saw that scene, and it kickstarted the running gag of Sunnydale high principles meeting their demise in horrific ways.

Worst Character: No More Mr. Nice Guy

When I was in college I often felt bad for Xander. The funny guy who just had no luck with women. He was sarcastic but had a big heart, and used a horny gimmick to mask his loneliness, or so I thought. But now I am older, I am wiser, I have known the touch of another human being and I have to say that Xander Harris is a really scummy fellow. I don't remember thinking so poorly and I wonder if the character develops a more nuanced view of women as the show goes on. As it stands there's barely a point in the series that Xander does not view the female cast as objects for him to enjoy or be embittered towards for one reason or another. It's not charming, it's foul. Xander Harris of season one is absolutely a terrorist attack waiting to happen, if Buffy had happened today it would be much more concerning to see someone so embittered, horny, and entitled to womens time and energy as Xander Harris. Dude is one step away from pulling an Elliot Rogers. Calm down buddy and maybe actually listen to a woman and you may find you aren't as much of a 'nice guy' as you think.

Worst Episode(s): If you're not first ...

It's a toss up on this one. Season One of Buffy is actually so short and concise that the 'Monster of the Week' episodes will have to be up for grabs as the worst episode by default, but even they are pretty watchable and don't warrant the vitriol a "worst" dub usually entails. I'd say there is not a worst episode of season one, just some episodes that aren't as good as the rest. In that vain, take your pick from "Witch", "Out of Mind, Out of Sight", or "The Puppet Show". However, I'd be doing a disservice to those episodes not to mention that each one of them takes what could just be a basic Buffy Vs (insert Villain), and does something unique and interesting with the idea. The villain of "Witch" actually turns out to be a has been cheerleader actually possessing the body of her innocent daughter to relive her glory years, The Invisible Girl is actually the victim of social cruelty, her peers disinterest in her manifesting in her condition becoming quite literal and she is picked up by the military in the end, then the Puppet show, well, it's just about the stupidest most absurd thing that could possibly happen and it's completely unafraid of that fact.

Summary:

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Season 1) is not the most groundbreaking TV, but it is absolutely evident why the show was such a phenomenon. Season 1 is particularly rewatchable. It does not demand too much investment or attention, but it will get it from you, especially on a first viewing. It's not afraid to take itself absolutely seriously or to plant it's tongue firmly in it's cheeks. It is to a degree a product of it's time, but in many other aspects feels timeless.

Overall Grade: B

[jvstheworld]

The Buffy Re-watch: S2E3 (part 3)

School Hard

So, this part publishes on my birthday. I will be 27. Yay? Anyway, back to the episode.

The vampires attack and Willow gets a good hit in with a bust of some guy.

To show how brutal Spike is, he kills a guy just for the fun of it.

Snyder goes straight to P.C.P (not the Manic Street Preachers song because there is actually song called that as I was listening to it while typing this, the drug kind). I ask again, does he know about Sunnydale's demon problem?

Buffy is a boss. This we know. She is 16 and in a room full of scared adults, and while Snyder thinks he is helping, he will only make the situation worse. All the while, Buffy is staying calm and taking charge and coming up with a plan on the fly.

Giles will look after Joyce for Buffy, he cares about Joyce because she is Buffy's family, and Buffy is important to him.

The 'Use your head' bit from Spike as he smashes a guys head into glass to get a axe has the same energy as the scene from Toy Story 2 when they use Rex's head to get in to Al's apartment.

Spike might be rash at times, but he is smart, at least in this season.

Why does Buffy not question Sheila's sudden appearance? She hasn't seen her all night, but she shows up just as vampires are attacking. Come on, that's a little sus. And what happened to Sheila after this?

During the reunion between Angel and Spike, Spike calls Angel his sire, but we later find out this isn't technically true. Drusilla was the one who turned him, Angelus was the one to make him into the vicious monster that he is now. We find this out in 'Fool for Love' (S5 of Buffy) and Destiny (S5 of Angel).

'Do we really need weapons for this?' Yes! Of course you do! You just gave him the advantage by dropping your weapon. This does become a point Spike makes in 'Fool for Love' and it's a good point to make.

The last slayer Spike killed was Nikki Wood. In the flashback in 'Fool for Love' we don't see her beg for her life as he says she did in this episode. Is that because the scene we see in 'Fool for Love' is altered to fit Spike's retelling of it to teach Buffy about what it means to be a slayer? So Nikki could have begged for her life, we just don't get to hear it because Spike's monologue is more important to the plot of the episode?

'No, Spike. It's going to hurt a lot.' Yep, her death hurts Spike a lot.

And we see the back of the head for Spike's stunt double. They couldn't have tried to get their hair a bit more similar so it wasn't so obvious that it's a stunt double?

Joyce coming in with an axe to the back of the head. Badass mum there. Spike will remember this.

Snyder, covering his ass so he doesn't get blamed for a dead parent. Asshole.

Angel did not care if Xander got bit by Spike. Do you think he is still jealous?

'The usual story?' 'What do you have in mind? The truth?' I swear Snyder fucking knows about the demons in Sunnydale, so do the police. It's all a part of one big cover up, probably by the Mayor.

Proud mum moment. Joyce knows her daughter is brave and helps others and that trumps whatever Snyder said to her earlier.

They forget about Cordy and Willow. How long were they in there for?

'So, let's see what's on TV.' He says after killing a vampire child. In such a cute way too. God damn you, James Marsters.

Does anyone else think that the Anointed One was a bit of a pointless character? He didn't do anything and couldn't because he was a child. They built him up in S1E5 but all he really did was lead Buffy to The Master. Like there wasn't much of a point to him, except that one thing, but even then was he really necessary? So his death isn't a big loss.

That's it for this episode. Next up, the second of Xander's attraction to supernatural beings. I only wrote 4 pages of notes for that, so it will only be in 2 parts.

[theajaheira]

What do you think would've happened if Wesley was Buffy's first watcher in Sunnydale and Giles came in to replace him in season 3?

Also what if Jenny didn't die while this was happening bc like. If we're having fun anyway we gotta include Jenny she's The Most Fun

oh my god i think that's the buffy and jenny timeline. i really do.

see, wesley is so not a good watcher when he shows up in sunnydale. i've always been of the mind that giles is a horrible dad and an AMAZING watcher, specifically because a watcher's job is to train and prepare a slayer for the mission ahead -- and buffy's unwavering devotion to giles means that she is totally willing to follow his lead if she finds his requests reasonable, plus giles's love and respect for buffy means that he in turn is willing to listen and adapt if buffy thinks his methods unreasonable and unfair. thing is, though, wesley does not have any interest in fostering that kind of camraderie with a girl who he sees primarily as a disobedient disciple: he feels WAY too entitled to buffy's respect to ever actually EARN it, because he is gonna constantly treat her like she's lesser for not just perpetually following his lead. which of course will not fly well with buffy AT ALL.

so you know who i think buffy is gonna start turning to? jenny. like, if her two options are 1) her watcher, who has absolutely no sympathy for her as a human person because she refuses to be a cookie-cutter council-approved slayer and is therefore a Rebellious Waste of Resources or 2) the technopagan who helped cast a demon from the internet, knows a TON about magic, is willow's favorite teacher, and is very willing to help buffy when she needs it? buffy is absolutely going to go straight towards jenny.

(this is getting long lmao so more under the cut!)

the change in giles was something that came about because he saw himself in buffy -- she is rebellious in a way that comes from a very compassionate person not being listened to when they say that they have been wronged. wesley, imo, would be far less willing to cut buffy slack, because he is a lot younger and therefore a lot more attached to ideas that aren't his own. he relies on the council because he doesn't know who he is without it. (same as giles, but giles is a little more okay with that ambiguity than wesley, i think. it's hard for him but it isn't the level of Life-Shattering Change that wes went through when the council kicked HIM to the curb.)

so in this version, wesley and jenny are pretty much constantly at odds, but they reach this weird little detente wherein wesley is willing to let jenny handle his slayer's unfathomable emotions and mentor her as long as he's allowed to drill her and take her on patrols and stuff. while wesley and buffy are nowhere near as close as buffy and giles, i do still think that by season three, they have a kind of weird understanding and a pale, watery imitation of buffy and giles's bond. buffy likes wesley well enough. she kinda looks at him like he's this golden retriever puppy she needs to keep an eye on sometimes.

JENNY, however, is the one who buffy has latched onto with all of her might, which in turn has caused a quiet little fissure between buffy and willow (who was jenny's unequivocal and obvious favorite before buffy came along). there are a lot of girls vying for mom's attention in season three -- faith is jealous of buffy like nine times more than in canon, because everybody gets a boring old watcher, but buffy gets a biological mom who is around AND a mentor/unofficial BONUS mom who understands how hard it is to be a slayer. it is literally such a mess and jenny is handling it to the best of her abilities but does not have half the support she needs wrt getting shit done.

the cruciamentum pretty much goes down as it does in canon -- i do think that wesley would falter, because he is a good guy at his core, and the truth of what the council is doesn't seem like something he was willing to accept in canon's season three (if the way he handed faith unceremoniously over to the council goons is any indication). but having to see firsthand this kiddo who he has trained go into a situation where he's certain she'll die? he can't do it. so he tells jenny that he's struggling, because he knows she will flip, and she DOES, and everything kinda goes to shit. wesley gets fired for involving a civilian in watcher matters, JENNY gets forbidden from EVER seeing buffy again, and giles is sent down to reinforce this doctrine.

now, bear in mind, this is a version of giles who has not spent three years with buffy. but this is ALSO a version of giles who, as every version of giles does, falls in love with jenny from the very fucking moment she storms up to him and starts yelling at him about how inhumane the council is. all of the kids are kind of expecting jenny to win against the guy they have unkindly dubbed "wesley 2.0" (god that is such a cursed phrase to type when referencing GILES), seeing as wesley kinda crumbled after two seconds of one of jenny's lectures, but giles gives as good as he gets. giles is not just gonna take insults to the council lying down.

so giles and jenny probably might have spent like the next four seasons screaming at each other if not for the fact that this is also when faith kills a guy by accident. and this is of course a situation that resonates HUGELY with giles! jenny and wesley are both ultra defensive and expecting him to immediately be like "i't's my responsibility to report this to the council," but giles instead is very firmly like. the council is understanding when it comes to youthful accidents, but they're not gonna take kindly to this situation, so we're all going to need to put our differences aside and figure out a way to help faith.

i think giles is actually what pulls faith over to the scooby side for good! like, he is this misfit who the others don't like, he GETS what faith has been through, he's able to relate. they form a very solid and special connection. (this thought was very much inspired by this post by @restlesshush where she mentions that giles and faith overlap significantly, so that's a definite influence wrt my convictions.) faith really likes feeling special to somebody, i think, and it means a lot to her that it's somebody who everyone else is still on the fence about. she gets to be someone's favorite slayer. i feel like she might have at one point wanted that with wesley in canon, before actually meeting him -- hoped on some quiet level that she'd matter More to somebody. and then of course she saw him and was immediately like. yeah. absolutely not.

meanwhile JENNY is seeing giles step up for this traumatized kid and make sure she is okay and run interference with the council to buy them all time while they figure shit out, and suddenly she's like. 💕 oh no. 💕 and buffy is so so viscerally horrified by this reaction.

[buffyversefanfiction]

Tristan Tormented

Fanfiction Series to “Buffy the vampire Slayer” series, “Angel” series and the Buffyverse continuation in the “Dark Horse Comics” series. Warning: I do not own the rights to the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its spin-off series Angel, its dark horse comics continuation series, or any of the characters created by Joss Whedon and others in the Buffyverse. 15 years +, Mild to Strong Violence, Sexual References F/F, F/M, M/M, Other +

Volume 3 - Able Angel

Vampire Tristan Summers had a mission on his mind and he was not going to stop until he achieved said mission, the mission being destroying anyone who could remotely bring out the man inside his monster and although the list was not long it was still a hefty task after all he had almost died several times before when trying to take out some of them and did die with one of them.

Angel was never meant to be a father mostly due to his undead status so when he did father his first child Connor he found himself feeling an unconditional love like no other only to lose him to another world and although over the years they had made major progress their bond was still nowhere near as great as Angel hoped it would be and now he was facing all that pain again with Tristan Summers only this time it was worse because sooner or later Angel’s second son would have to be stopped and his biggest fear had become the idea that he might just have to be the one that does the stopping. “You have to forgive me someday Angel,” Faith told him as she walked through the front doors of the abandoned looking Hyperion Hotel, chasing after her vampire friend, pleading with him to forgive her for past mistakes. “This is not just some mistake Faith; you kept my son from me and then you stopped me from killing him so now he is out there killing people and that is on you!” Angel argued. “He was killing people long before he was a vamp and if we give up on him now, he will be long after.” Faith replied, eager to make Angel side with her on her quest to save Tristan’s soul. “He was coming off less evil not a lot less evil but still less and I just know if we get Willow to ram a soul down his throat or however that goes then you may finally get to have some kind of relationship with him.” “Do not think I do not want to be a father to him, of course I do but you and Buffy made it impossible and now the next time I see him I am going to have to kill him!” Angel admitted to the redeemed slayer. “He has no soul and even when he did, he was evil.” “We both took walks on the dark side and we had each other’s backs why can’t we have his too?” Faith asked him, reminding them both of their dark pasts. “It’s not as black and white as that.” Angel reluctantly replied, once again facing the fact he may have to kill his own child. “Then let us dive straight into the grey and save your son.” Faith responded, making her determination clear to Angel. “On this particularly rare occasion I happen to agree with Faith.” Giles announced as he walked through the front doors shocking both Angel and Faith by his presence. “After my failed attempt to rehabilitate him I have been working hard to find a way to make things right.” “Failed attempt?” Faith scoffed at the former watcher, “That is like me saying oops my stake slipped when I killed a guy, somehow I do not think that response would have went down that well, nor is yours.” “It would have been more believable than trying to pin the crime on Buffy.” Giles replied to the troubled slayer. “Look I am here to make things right!” “Trust me when I say your nowhere near the top of the list of people who need to make things right for me, even if you did almost kill my son, Dru actually did so she’s ahead of you in that department.” Angel explained to Giles, making it clear no ill will was held between the two of them. “Thank you, Angel,” Giles responded to the vampire with a soul before walking over to him and Faith. “I’ve been referring with some old friends about the impossibility of Tristan Summers as well as doing some digging on my own and the information I have found was…well rather astonishing really! The boy really is one of a kind.” “Something tells me this is going to be one big watcher talk when I would rather just be out there doing what needs done.” Faith chimed in, making it clear she wanted Giles to get his point across quickly. “I stumbled upon a prophecy of a human who was born of both vampire and slayer origins yet somehow remained human and as I continued to read the text in which is was written it only grew more fascinating. The prophecy spoke of the human becoming a slayer by his own means, then later a vampire by another’s hands and yes I know that already sums up what has happened but it was the next part that really blew my mind, so to speak.” Giles informed them both. “You see it said the boy would change before becoming a slayer in his own right but he would not change after becoming a vampire, it spoke of how all that was remained unlike any vampire before him and how it would lead to the beginning of the demonic slayer…a being possible of both great things and terrible evils but a being needed in an upcoming apocalypse nonetheless.” Angel and Faith remained stood in shock by Giles’ revelation that Tristan was still the man he was before a monster and while that idea did not surprise Faith entirely due to her strong belief in the rogue slayer turned vampire it did surprise her hearing it was possible for Tristan to do some good, as Angel remained shocked by every word, knowing Giles would not lie to them but not wanting to admit there was hope for his son until he saw it for himself, having lost his sons one too many times before.

After throwing his latest victim’s body to the ground, having drained the woman completely of her blood, a full vamp face Tristan wiped the blood off his face before return to his human form which was when he realized the alleyway he had found himself was very familiar to him being too hungry and focused on the hunt before too realise where he was going but now he was fed and his victim was dead he realized his hunt had taken him home. Memories of his beloved Dante began charging through his mind as he felt all the pain of losing him once more while continuing to walk down the alleyway until Tristan stopped outside of the boarded up building he and Dante once called their home, the deadly demonic dive bar where he had last experienced any kind of happiness with his now fully dusted vampire lover. Tristan could swear just by standing outside the building itself that he could smell Dante but he knew that was his mind playing tricks on him, wanting to undo what could not be undone but still feeling Dante once more was what he needed in that moment as he began tearing down the planks of wood boarding up the door to his home before kicking the door open and walking in. “Did he know about Drusilla?” He wondered about Dante as he stood in the middle of the barely standing demonic dive bar, once again taking in the ruins of what used to be. “Did he help kill my parents? No, he would not do that to me…he loved me…but he did not love me then.” He had never doubted Dante’s love for him for one second and felt bad for doubting it now he was gone but with Drusilla having lied to him all these years he couldn’t help but wonder if any of his time spent with Dante was true or was he playing a role just like his sire Drusilla. “Did anybody ever really love me?” He asked himself, fearing the answer was no. “Could anybody really love a monster like me?” Tristan quickly realized he was not alone to his thoughts when he heard footsteps coming from the front door and like a knee jerk reaction he quickly picked up a piece of broken wood from the ground ready to slay whoever dared come into his home only to be left completely stunned when none other than Spike walked in. “I guess you never got far from those woods, but I guess why would you when this place was your home.” Spike said as he held his hands up to show he had no weapons and had no plans to fight Tristan, “I only want to talk to you kid.” “Why would I want to talk to my mother’s pet?” Tristan asked his fellow vampire, while clutching the wooden stake in his hand tighter. “You see I do not feel like talking but I am always down for killing.” “I want to help you and I know somewhere in there you want to be helped.” Spike told him. “You really are desperate to get Buffy to look at you again.” Tristan laughed cruelly, amused by Spike’s words. “Hate to break it to you but me bad you good we do not talk we just fight to the death.” “The hatred you had for Drusilla remained after turning didn’t it? And that hatred comes from a place of love, the love you had for your adoptive parents, the love I am going to guess you still have for them?” Spike questioned the slayer turned vampire, already knowing he was right. “Wow, of all the pep talkers I did not take you for one but then again you are Buffy’s pet after all.” Tristan replied, eager to antagonize Spike. “I barely had feelings when I was alive and I sure as hell do not have any now.” “Would you stop with the bloody pet talk?” Spike groaned as he walked closer to Tristan. “If you stop calling me kid,” Tristan responded before throwing a right punch across Spike’s face. “because this kid has gone pro now!” Spike wasted no time in replying to Tristan’s violence with some more violence as he punched the former slayer across the face leading to Tristan headbutting Spike in the face before kicking him to the ground. “I guess the slayer strength stuck around after death.” Spike replied as he quickly rose back on his feet, before his face turned into full vamp mode and he charged towards Tristan ready for a brutal fight with the son of the woman he loved.

Meanwhile back in Los Angeles, Angel sat behind his desk within his office at the Hyperion Hotel reading from the books that Giles, fact checking what Giles had already informed of about his son Tristan, realizing that his son did somehow still have his soul despite becoming undead making Tristan more like his father than Angel ever expected him to be. He must have re-read the text within those ancient and mystical books a hundred times not believing the truth to what he was reading as he struggled to come to terms with not only his sons seemingly indestructible soul but the importance he would have in an upcoming apocalypse, not even wanting to think about the likelihood of Tristan being on the team of evil rather than good. “You know you can keep reading it forever and it is not going to change, trust me I read it about a million times before I even began to consider it being true.” Giles told Angel as he walked into the vampire’s office. “Then went the excruciating research, the endless pleading of former colleagues to decipher it differently or at the very least some definition of whether he was fighting for good or evil.” “I get the demonic part of being a slayer I mean I feel the demon inside of me every day but I do not understand how it is even possible for him to still have a soul.” Angel answered as he closed the books and stood up to stand face to face with Giles. “You are a vampire with a soul the very definition of impossible clearly your son takes after you in that sense. I cannot begin to try and explain how he is possible let alone how his soul is still intact, but I do believe this means there’s something inside of your son that is salvageable.” Giles attempted to explain, revealing his newfound optimism towards helping Tristan find redemption. “Why not go straight to Buffy?” Angel wondered, “I am glad you came to me with this but why not her?” “I am not exactly on speaking terms with Buffy or Willow for a matter of fact after almost killing your child, besides I truly believe if it comes past the point of redemption that you will do what you have to do…so would Buffy of course but I would rather spare her from that pain.” Giles admitted to the dark-haired vampire. “I guess this means it is time for a father son reunion.” Angel declared, terrified to how this intervention for his second child would end, hoping beyond hope it would not end in him having to kill his son. “Count me in!” Faith chimed in as she walked into the room, making it clear she was eavesdropping the entire time and she was more than eager to take part in another round of team twisted. Giles had convinced Angel that his claims were real and even convinced him to take part in his redemption rescue mission but one person who never needed any convincing was Faith who had been backing Tristan from the beginning despite his endless evil deeds. A part of Faith connected with Tristan or at least her former self anyway, a part of her that was still in there deep down but had been controlled for a long time now and she believed she could help the slayer turned vampire into controlling his dark side too. Faith Lehane was never the saving souls type until she found her own saved and although she did not make a case of going out on a limb for most if any people she was determined to get Tristan Summers on the right side, partly because of seeing herself in him, partly to do something good for Buffy to make up for all the bad and to make up for straining her relationship with Angel. The funny thing about the path to redemption is the person seeking it for themselves tend to pick up a lot of others along the way, believing deep down that if they can help as many people as possible down that path then they would ultimately be helping themselves too.

“Yeah funny thing about Tristan…let me just say I have him secured already!” Spike said down the phone to Faith while standing in Tristan’s former demonic bar, bloody and bruised from his fight with the demonic slayer which he had eventually grown the upper hand in as a passed out Tristan lay on the floor beneath Spike’s feet.