#<- going with his name being Garret cause it works better here

[chipistrate]

Look I dislike gregbot as much as the next guy but hear me out 4 a sec

Gregory being a CCbot but he reeeeally doesn’t like it and does everything he can to distance himself from CC, doing his best to be the exact opposite of him, try to forget he’s not flesh n bone and was just created to replicate a dead kid, etc

And CCs spirit just has to watch, as even the robot made to replicate him, doesn’t want anything to do with him.

[arkashas]

will naming his bait as abigail + how it ties into his “blurring” with hannibal and eventual transformation

“name the bait on your hook after somebody you cherish. if the person you name it after cherished you, you will catch the fish".

i’ve seen this look abigail gives will here

when he says he named the bait after her interpreted as her not cherishing him, but i don’t think that’s it. i think the reason that abigail’s face falls here is because people using her as bait has negative connotations for her. who else used her as bait a lure? that’s right, garret jacob hobbs.

we see in season 1 that will takes pains not to cross boundaries with abigail; he thinks better of his gift of fly tying gear to her because it might remind her of her father.

but now in his daydreams he’s fishing with her and even using her as a lure. what changed?

will’s isolation, alienation from others and slow deterioration of his morals causing him to become like hannibal, that’s what changed. hannibal has no problem being another GJH or leveraging abigail’s relationship with GJH to further his bond with her; in Œuf he feeds her eggs and sausages, the breakfast she shared with her parents, and even gives her priscobilyn tea so that she hallucinates him and alana as her parents (the script tells us that it was actually will that was supposed to be at the breakfast-for-dinner, which makes more sense).

EDIT: i think there’s also instances where hannibal uses abigail as bait. in potage when set up the scene for nicholas boyle to go after her, and when he lets her distract beverly in takiawase when she goes down to the basement (bryan fuller confirmed that beverly saw abigail in the basement). there’s also mizumono where he sends abigail to disarm alana knowing alana won’t shoot at her, which echoes GJH making abigail befriend the girls to get them into a false sense of security.

in season 3, we see that will uses hannibal as bait to catch dolarhyde, and of course he catches the fish, because he and hannibal cherish each other. and in season 2, will names abigail as his bait, but he doesn’t actually use her as bait to catch hannibal in a way that was literal with hannibal and dolarhyde in season 3. so this might be a bit convoluted, but bear with me here - i think the way this is supposed to work is that will using abigail as bait = will acting like garret jacob hobbs which in turn = will acting like hannibal. in order to catch hannibal, will has to beat him at his own game, which means acting like him, which means manipulating, killing and cannibalizing.

this idea makes sense with what will tells jack in su-zakana. he heavily implies he will act as bait to catch hannibal. this means will is also the bait. so how can abigail and will both simultaneously being the bait be reconciled?

the way this can work is if we take it that abigail is not the bait in a literal sense; what is important here is what naming abigail as his bait means for will. it means that will is willing to turn into hannibal to catch hannibal. and will acting hannibalesque is the “live bait” that “moves and excites” hannibal to action, the one thing that he wants, despite everything he knows. (also emphasis on live bait - that can’t be abigail because will thinks she’s dead).

EDIT: more relevant scenes from trou normand. if feeling like garret jacob hobbs makes will feel like a killer, then the fishing scenes in his mind palace with abigail take on even more meaning.

we see other signs of the blurring between will and hannibal, the courtroom scene in hassun where they both dress up at the same time,

and as this post points out, the dream sequence just before this where we see will in a suit (reminiscent of hannibal’s attire) electrocuting the old will.

but for will the transformation is a painful one - his old self goes through the process of electrocution, he tears himself free and screams when he's reborn in ko no mono, and it also doesn't fully take place – the suit is ill fitting, and the ravenstag gives birth to someone who's recognisable as will, just with antlers, not the stagman’s twin. you can’t force a transformation, will has to grow into it in his own time. which he eventually does.

[on a sidenote - this is why i disagree that hannibal never wanted will to be like him. he did, the character development hannibal has to go through is accepting will is not like him and loving and wanting him anyway. we see glimpses of that when he is willing to run away with will even while having his “imago” or ideal of him shattered when he learnt he didn’t kill freddie lounds.]

EDIT: something i forgot to mention is how will gets found out by hannibal because he went to visit freddie, which he was only able to do because he didn’t kill her...and not killing her means that he didn’t turn into hannibal. will failing to catch hannibal is directly connected to him being unable to do what he set out to do with his luring expedition. and i’ve changed my mind to say that abigail not cherishing him back might have played a part in hannibal wriggling away. will and abigail were never especially close, except in will’s mind.

[itspdameronthings]

Country Getaway

Summary: title says it all. This fic was inspired by a pic of Garret Hedlund playing a guitar. gave me me an idea for to write. need more Benny fics ! here is mine. Takes place in the Channel 2 universe. Benny takes Doc( fem reader) to the country after a panic attack. Brought on by missing Santi. 

Warning: mentions panic attacks. few tears. Benny playing a guitar. 

Nothing beats the quietness of the country.  Especially during the Fall season.  Leaves changing colors. Cool air . Different smells.  Being here calms one's heart , mind ,and soul. Reason why you and Benny are at the family farm.  Been so long since they visited. So much going on.  Work and other stuff forced both of you to take some time away from the city. Main reason for the trip is the pain in your heart. Santi.  He isn't with the two of you.  He is away visiting a family member who isn't well. Don't know how long he will be gone. 

Benny knows how you are when he isn't with you.  Couldn't function properly.  Mood swings. Till one day.  Blue called him to tell him about you having a panic attack caused by a traumatic trauma that was brought in the ER. The bosses thought it would be a good idea to take time off. Benny knows what to do. That night both of you traveled all night till the two of you reached the farm. 

After tucking you in his childhood bed.  Kisses your forehead he leaves you to get some sleep.  Benny isn't that tired. Upon fetching his guitar.  Go outside to sit on an old porch swing. Casually strumming a familiar tune he knows so well. Humming along. Getting lost into his music. Suddenly he felt a small hand on his bare, muscular shoulder.  Stopped playing long enough to see your exhausted body.  Messy hair.  Putting down the guitar," ya should be asleep darlin one. Been through hell.  " Laying your head on his warm lap. Always makes you feel better.  Need his presence right now," Try to rest. All I do is toss and turn. I know you aren't that tired.  Could you lay down with me?" Benny felt selfish at that moment.  He knows that you can't sleep without both of you. Only connection to Santi was his shirt ,and pillow Benny brought. Helping you up so he could carry you upstairs. 

Breathed in his musky scent calms you while playing with his now neck length hair. Softness of the bed hits your back. Bed dips as Benny's body edges close to you.  Without thinking. Lay your head on his chest, " I feel numb. Same feeling when Santi left for Columbia.  Don't want to go back to that place. So glad you are here." Taking a deep breath," I'm here Doc. Not leavin ya. This trip is for you.  Time to focus on yourself.  Pope will tan my good lookin hide if something happens to ya. So close your eyes.  Focus on something comforting. I'll be right here when you wake." Kissing his chest before your eyes close," love you ben Miller.  So fucking much." 

Heeding his advice.  Mind wanders to a beautiful moment with them. Benny playing his guitar. Santi holds you close to him.  Swaying to the beat. Beating of his heart soothes your mind. Deep voice filled the space," love you so much Doc. Don't ever forget that. " 

After arriving home. Santi was so tired. Call out your name. Nothing. Benny nothing. Seeing only one car under the carport. Fearing something has happened.  Calls the one person that would know. William.  

After talking to Willam. He is on the road again. Destination.  To be with you and Benny.  Finally arrived at the farm. Looking at the house. So peaceful.  Getting his bag out of the truck. Entering the house. Though it was odd it was left unlocked. Santiago was armed . In his soldier mode. Goes through the house looking room to room. Nothing.  Till he goes upstairs to a bedroom. See a familiar site. Benny is asleep with you in his arms.  Took off his shoes and hat. Scoots in beside you.  Tracing patterns on your arm. A whimper leaves your lips," need you santi. Miss you." Santi scoots closer to you. Placing kisses on your shoulder. Sighing deeply.  Felt so good to hold you again.  Missed you like crazy. Benny moans," how did ya find us? Oh… Ironhead.  Glad he did. Guess he told ya what happened?" Looking at you again," Yeah, he did. Poor baby.  Haven't seen her like that since that night in Columbia.  Afraid that ya might not come back to her. Reason for the sabbatical.  Her bosses thought she needed a break. Reason why I'm here too. Part of the package deal. Can't ya know focus on takin care of patients while I'm worrin about our beautiful.. hay sweetheart,  looks who's here.`` 

Stirring to look at the source of the deep voice. Whimpering, " Santi! Am I dreaming?! " Santi whispers, " No you are not sweetheart.  I'm right here. Both parts of your heart are here with you.  Now close your eyes.  Time to rest." 

You and Santi didn't wake up till mid afternoon.  Laying on top of him. Holding both of his fingers.  Listening to his heartbeat.  Looking in the other direction to see Benny smiling at you. With those loving eyes full of sleep," Sleep well? " Brushing a few stray hairs from your face. Not before touching your face, " Think I should ask ya that . Hate to see you in so much pain. Scares me to no end.  We have another mission to take care of ourselves. That's the more important thing here. " 

Three of you got up to take in the stillness of the property.  So soothing. Never thought about how calming being here is what the doctor ordered.  Santi comes behind you.  Kissing the back of your head, " Have I told you it is good to hold you close again? If I haven't? Saying it right now. " Sounds of Benny playing his guitar filled the air once more. Santi pulls you back from the railing," Doc, dance with me.  Like we did a while back.  Head on my shoulder. You sing softly. World drifts away just the three of us. " Biting your lip," Guess you have been thinking about that moment too. Thought about it as well. Never want to be without you ever again.  Can't…" Taking a deep breath thinking about what you said. He too was thinking about that too. Vowing that he would never,never leave you for too long.  

Benny continues to play ,and sing songs he wrote. Glancing at the beautiful site before him. You are at peace.  No more sad expressions. Smiling again. Putting down the guitar. Slowly walk towards them ,and wrap his arms around your waist. Swaying to a tune he is humming.  Continue to do that till the sunsets. 

Month later. You and Benny returned to work. Refreshed. No panic attacks. Now when you get stressed out.  Thought about the farm,and the boys. Rubbing your belly thinking about what else happened.  A miracle.  A tiny one. 

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 1

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling ���

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite, who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310, @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria. Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 1806

Additional note: I'm afraid I'll disappoint some of you. No more newspapers... The articles defined the setting of the story. From now on, it'll be a regular fic.

Hope you enjoy it nevertheless 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

June 2021

Ivar yawns, rubbing his eyes, when he suddenly hears the front door open. The next moment, Ubbe shouts, "Hey baby bro, we're home!"

Slightly confused, Ivar looks at the time on his computer. Stunned, he blinks repeatedly, shakes his head and checks the time again, now looking at his watch. "Guess I lost track of time," he mumbles as he realizes it's really 5:30 pm. He clears his throat. "I'm coming!"

Yawning once more, he wheels to the kitchen. Hvitserk waves at him with one hand as Ubbe greets him with a grin and Sigurd... Well, Sigurd ignores him, as usual.

"Hello boys!" Lagertha smiles as she also enters the kitchen. "Did you go to the beach this afternoon?" It's a rethorical question, since sand can be seen on the tanned skin of his brothers, shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts.

When she looks down at him, her smile becomes softer. "Ivar, you seem tired. Did you work all day long?"

He nods, glad that for once she called him by his first name and not by one of those stupid nicknames that she likes but that make his skin crawl.

"Yep," he shrugs without smiling back, "I made good progress. The new version of your website is almost done. It could probably be online by the end of the week."

His stepmom flashes him a beaming smile. "Great, thanks!"

The conversation then moves on to the subject that everyone in Kattegat has been talking about for the last few days: the midsummer party thrown by their neighbor Harald Hårfager. Every June, it is Kattegat's not-to-be-missed event, to which every resident hopes to be invited.

Lagertha is invited every year, yet rarely attends; his brothers wouldn't miss it, not in a million years; Ivar never went.

He listens with half an ear as his brothers prattle on about the upcoming party, while taking a seat at the large, wooden kitchen table on which Lagertha has just put cakes and drinks.

"What are you going to wear?"

"Do you think Marit will attend this year?"

"Hopefully the music will be better than last year."

"Can't be as bad! What was the name of that reggae band?"

For a fleeting moment, Ivar entertains the thought of attending as well. Not that he's dying to, but… Sometimes, he feels a little bit like Cinderella in this house.

Don't get him wrong, it's not that bad.

First, his stepmom is not–

Wait, wait, wait, is Lagertha technically his stepmom? He's not sure. After all, she wasn't when his parents were alive, she was just his father's first wife. Anyway, she may be his guardian now, but he sees her as his stepmom and he honestly doesn’t give a shit if it's a little weird.

Where was he? Oh yes, Cinderella.

So obviously, Lagertha is not a wicked, haughty and abusive stepmom like this Lady Tremaine of the fairytale.

Actually, even if it pisses him off to admit it, she's pretty nice, patient and composed. Does he love her? Let's not exaggerate – he doesn't. She may love him though, which is a little bit uncanny, if he's being honest. He was the favorite son of her nemesis. Shouldn't she hate him? He would, if the situation was reversed.

The truth is, when he was younger, he tried, he really tried to hate her, blaming her for everything and anything. When too much pain prevented him from sleeping, he let his imagination run wild. There, bound to his bed of suffering, he could see Lagertha cutting the brakes on his mother's car, causing her crash, causing her death.

Of course, even then, he knew deep down that Lagertha had not killed his mother; that the story he told himself was just the product of his endless nights of insomnia. But what can he say? He needed this. Because blaming Lagertha rather than admitting that his beloved mother was at fault – by being distracted, or by falling asleep, he'll never know – was easier for the heartbroken boy he was.

Anyway... So yes, Lagertha is definitely not an evil stepmother like Cinderella's.

Also, he doesn't sleep on a sorry garret, on a wretched straw bed either.

Actually, he has a very large room on the main floor, with a king-size memory foam bed, a walk-in – well, a wheel-in for his case – closet and his own, huge bathroom, fully equipped for his special needs.

Sure, the bathroom and the dressing room were already there when his parents were alive; however, the memory foam mattress had been Lagertha's idea.

Anyway... So yes, he can't exactly complain about his sleeping conditions, unlike Cinderella.

And obviously, he's not forced into servitude.

Actually, one might think so, but no, he's not. Sure, sometimes he works for his stepmom, like today. But so do his brothers. When she had taken them in, she was a powerful businesswoman, working twelve to fourteen hours a day. Once she had become their guardian, she had rearranged her working time and learned to delegate; but even so, she had often run out of time. Therefore, it had seemed normal to them – yes, even to him – to help her out, each of them according to their skills and abilities.

So, while Hvitserk almost always does the grocery shopping, while Sigurd vacuums and does the laundry, while Ubbe mows the lawn and trim the bushes, he, Ivar, runs her company's website and sometimes even does the accounting. And since he loves computers and numbers, it's not exactly a problem.

Anyway... So yes, he's not a slave in this house. Unlike Cinderella.

So, yes, to sum it up, he can't really complain and he's by far not Cinderella. And he knows it.

But... Yes, there's a but...

Sometimes, he feels trapped, as poor Cinderella must have felt.

Sometimes he feels like a spectator of a life he doesn't belong to.

Sure, he doesn't have to be homeschooled – but gods, he's glad he is. The reasons for him to be continuously bullied by classmates are endless. The simplest ones being: he is a cripple, an orphan, the son of a dead mob boss, the smartest one in the whole damn school, let alone his class. Take your pick. It's no fun, no fun at all. Being home alone is preferable to that alternative.

Therefore, barely leaving the house except for medical appointments, he has no friends. He doesn't do sports either – obviously – and yeah, he lives a lonely life, filled with video games and Netflix series. And he's okay with that. Well, most of the time.

Sure, his brothers, or at least Ubbe and Hvitserk, always try to include him as much as possible. But the truth is that because of his legs, there are many, many things he just can't do.

And the other truth, the less pleasant one, is that he partially did that to himself. He cut himself off from a world that hurt him, yet he still misses this world sometimes. At times, he blames himself. Because his life, honestly, is hardly what you would call a life, is it? Not when you're sixteen.

That's why sometimes, like now, he feels this longing, almost a need, to live. To really, truly, fully live. And that's why, for a brief moment, lulled by the light chitchat of his brothers, he considers attending Harald's midsummer party.

But he knows better. This life is not for him, never has been, never will be.

And so, shaking his head, he chases the thought away and, placing his hands on his push rims, he's about to leave the kitchen while the incessant babbling of his brothers goes on.

"I can't wait."

"Don't tell me! As every year, the most beautiful girls of Kattegat will be there."

"Remember that burger food truck? Best burgers ever!"

"I've heard Y/N would be attending this year."

"There'll be booze and girls! Sounds like Valh–"

Wait. His mind goes blank.

Fuck.

What? Did he hear right?

As he replays his brother's words in his head, it's like there's an earthquake happening inside of him.

Fuck.

He stops breathing. Blinks, then clamps his eyes shut.

Fuck.

When he finally manages to draw air into his lungs, he swallows loudly before asking in a weird, high-pitched voice, his heart pounding in his chest, "What– What did you say, brother?"

Hvitserk turns his head toward him and shrugs. "I just said there'll be boo–"

"No, not you!" Ivar snaps at his brother, pointing his pointer finger at Ubbe. "You, what did you fucking say?" Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lagertha frowning – 'no curse words in this house, boys'– and even if he barely contains an eye roll, he still mouths a quick 'sorry' at her before rewording his question, impatience coursing through him. "What did you say, dear brother? Who did you say would attend?"

Stunned, Ubbe looks at him with wide eyes. "Y/N? I said Y/N would come. That's what I heard anyway. She's Harald's niece. She was here once, right? Remember her, baby bro, huh?"

But Ivar is no longer listening, the blood draining from his face. Y/N... Y/N... Fuck. Finally. Fucking finally. After so long... He may see you again. Wow.

I'll go! I'll fucking go!

He barely contains the words, suddenly acutely aware of the deafening silence in the room, his brothers shamelessly staring at him.

With her brows furrowed and her lips turned downward in a slight frown, Lagertha takes two steps forwards before crouching down in front of him. "Are you all right, sweetie? You're a little pale."

He barely hears when Sigurd giggles, "A little pale? He's greener than an alien!"

Lagertha shoots Sigurd a dirty look and then gently cups Ivar's cheek. "Do you know her, Ivar? Do you know Y/N?"

Overwhelmed, self-conscious, freaked out, caught off-guard, he doesn't know how to respond. Should he tell the truth? Should he lie? His brothers will mock him, for sure. What is the point of telling the truth? What good would it do? On the other hand, he could really use some advice. Yeah. Sure. Advice from Sigurd. Just the thought of it is enough to make him sick. Fuck, what is he going to do?

Rushed words are out of his mouth before he can even gather his thoughts. "No. No. I don't. I mean, yes, I think I do but–" He's being pathetic and he hates it. So after a sharp intake of breath, he shakes his head and eventually replies in a flat, calm voice, the white lie rolling off his tongue. "I know her, but I thought Ubbe was talking about someone else. Sorry."

With these words, he hastily leaves the room, his eyes riveted on his knees, his heart still drumming in his chest.

Y/N. Fuck.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar's taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings

[socksual-innuendos]

So I was tagged by @yesjejunus for this and I’m doing a joint interview with Emi and Cam because why not. Art is also by yesjejunus

What is your name?

E: Who’s askin? C: Camila, and that's my sister Emilia.

How old are you?

E: Old enough to be your mother. Who’s askin?? C: 48, but I don’t really feel it. 

What do you look like?

E: Oh, good, I have jokes for this. ‘Why not just check my mug shot’ or 'Who is this interview for, the blind?’ oh! How about ‘use your damn eyes’?

C: Oh, ugh...well I use to have black hair and my skin wasn’t so...the way that it is, haha. Can we please move to the next question?

Where are you from? Where do you live now?

C: Mexico! I don’t remember much of it, actually. I mean I do but not enough of one place. We moved around a lot and most of it just looked like the wastes here. I don’t remember being told when we had made it into America, I don’t think it really clicked until we were half way through Arizona. We still moved around once we made it into the States and up until a few months ago we didn’t have a home. But we sort of do now! Right Em?

E: Yeah, we’ll see.

What was your childhood like?

E: Just like everyone else’s in some ways. Good at times, shitty at times, getting into way too much trouble at times. Heh, you know, the usual kid stuff and more.

C: Even when papa was around we still stayed with host families. Emi and Abuelita always seemed to be out doing something, mostly work I think, not that I could ever join them. When I was real little I would get sick so much. Papa wouldn’t let me out unsupervised, but he did trust Emi to take me places. Once he was gone things got a lot more strict. I think the host families didn’t want to chance me getting hurt or more sick. Abuelita agreed with them, but Emi would sneak me out and we’d play. 

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

E: I’m friendly with plenty, whether or not they’re friendly with me is their problem. I guess the Chairmen are fine with me, BAH! I know the Omertas have it out for me, and if those damn pretentious White Chode Society fucks didn’t make a steak as good as they do they’d be a hole in the ground. Who else is there? No one that matters I guess-- Wait, those Boomers might be batshit but they know how to have a party! 

C: Oh! I’d like to think I’m friends with the Chairmen, but they’re really just my employers. Swank is nice, a bit of a flirt but he’s like that with everyone. Tommy is sweet too! He can be tough during practice but I can’t fault him for that. Although Emi doesn’t really like them I love the White Glove Society! They really make you feel like royalty-- And their spa is amazing. There’s nowhere like it in the world I swear. I just really enjoy their casino....Um, other than that I don’t really know any other factions. The Kings are funny, but Emi doesn’t really want me in Freeside without her or Cass or Arcade. She also says I am absolutely not to go near Gomorrah. I’ll admit I’m curious but it doesn’t really seem like a place you’d want to wear open toed shoes, you know?

Tell me about your best friend.

E: Only got Camila and Raul, really. Arcade’s good, a bit too idealistic for his age but whatever keeps you goin. Cass is pretty independent, but it’s part of why I like her. 

C: I have so many now! There’s Veronica, she’s probably the closest I’m to, oh and Sarah. I love my sister dearly but she was never into girlish things. But I have those two now! And they love doing all that stuff. Swank gives me a hard time when he comes around The Aces, but it’s all in good fun. Arcade is teaching me how to do computers, and it’s really helping with the Vault hotel. He’s a bit prickly but he still wants to teach me. I really do love them! I know she’s pretty defensive about our living space but I’m glad Emilia includes them in the 38, this place gets too big and lonely without people. 

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

E: Cam’s all I need. And Raul’s here now. The others are nice to have around but...Family’s special. 

C: There use to be more of us...I never knew mom but Emi’s told me of her. Xiomara was my abuelita’s name, and my papa was around only when I was little. Then there was-- well, it’s not my place to say. Oh, but I have Raul now too. And Veronica, and Arcade, n Cass, Boone....they count. To me they do. 

What about a partner or partners?

E: Nope. Don’t need one. Not in that sense anyway. I don’t mind having regular lovers, but I don’t get attached like that. Friends suit me just fine. 

C: Not for me no. I mean I haven’t really thought of anyone like that...I haven’t really had the chance to. I mean I’ve thought about it before but nothing serious and definitely not at anyone in particular. I think it would be nice...but I’m just not sure. 

Who are your enemies, and why?

E: Enemies? Now why would anyone want to be enemies with me, I am nothing short of a delight. Although, I will say the Garrets’ opinions of me vary with how hefty my tab is. 

C: I really hope I don’t have enemies. I just got friends! One thing at a time please.

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

E: Brotherhood of Kiss My Ass! Don’t get me wrong, they have cool shit and I love their archives but as long as New Vegas is what it is and as long as they do how they do, I hate them. 

C: Veronica’s told me a lot about them. Aside from the obvious, um, flaws, they sound interesting. I know Emi loves history stuff...This seems really complicated...

What about The Enclave?

E: Never heard of ‘em.

C: The who now?

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

C: I haven’t had the chance to properly meet any. Emi says some are like us and that others are just mindless and violent. We had heard about Jacobstown, that’s part of the reason we’re up here actually. Apparently its a home for the mutated. It sounded like a good idea at first-- it certainly was a smart one but...I like Vegas.

E: Tough sonsofbitches. They have no right being as fast as they are. Clumsy in close combat though. 

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

E: Well, it wasn’t the craziest but I did get in a scuff with a mark’s security guard on top of a building. We ended up rolling off, and when I tried grappling my leg had tangled in my climbing cable-- That’s what fucked up my knee-- I ended up hitting the side of the building, having the wind knocked out of me, and then alerted the rest of the security team of an intruder when I broke a window to get back inside. Trying to get out of there with a dislocated knee was probably one of the best and worst adrenaline rushes I’ve had. 

C: Once Rosa and I had a really big miscommunication. I think that was the first time we ever got legitimately mad at each other. She ran off too cool down but I got worried and ah-- Um, things turned out fine, thankfully. Yeah.

Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

E: Several, actually. Wait-- Ha! Actually, ask Arcade about this, I’m sure he’d love to tell you the story. 

C: Heavens no! I haven’t even seen one outside of pictures. They look terrifying, and Emilia says they’re very territorial and very aggressive. Hopefully I never have to. Although, Emi has said if I’ve ever wanted to see one we could go to the Thorn but animal fights? That seems needlessly cruel.

Do you like fighting?

E: Hell yeah! 

C: I don’t have the energy for conflict. I’d much rather talk it out, like adults. [Camila glares at Emilia]

What’s your weapon of choice?

E: Depends on the job. I love my sniper rifle, but sometimes a trick shot doesn’t have the right flair to it. It’s really about reading the situation and seeing whats available. Sure, you can blast someone’s brains out 2,000 meters away but where’s the fun in distance if no one knows how far it really is. Now, making a big deal out of a target, there’s the fun. You have to personalize each kill, let the mark and the world how premeditated it was. No, it didn’t have to be that complicated, but it was and someone put the effort in. That’s the sort of thing that let’s people know you’re better than them. 

C: I suppose a mic. I’m not really trained in anything, and I don’t really have a preference towards a weapon? Emi really should teach me but last time I brought it up...I’ll ask Raul.

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

E: It’s all skill baby. I give a prayer and Lord willing I succeed. That and a quick wit is all I need. (S5, P9, E6, C7, I6, A10, L0)

C: I mostly relied on Emilia to survive. Things have been complicated in the past, but she did what she needed to do. I try to be as polite and accommodating as I can though, at the very least people leave you alone if you’re not causing trouble. I got a job at the Vault 21 hotel! It doesn’t get as busy as the other places on the Strip, but it’s still something!  (S2, P6, E3, C10, I6, A3, L9)

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

C: I work at a Vault! Sort of. It’s a hotel now and it’s been mostly destroyed....Sarah’s a bit afraid to be open about it, given how ‘gracious’ Mr. House was, but from what she said it was much more homey when she was little. She’s also told me about Vault life. I guess growing up underground really makes the concept easier huh? I hate being cooped up, but a roof always over her suits her just fine. ‘Though, I guess if the Vaults are as big as she says they were there would be plenty to do inside but...still...

E: I’ve been in a lot. It’s...humbling. All of them have their own unique story and connections to the old world. Reading about some of these people, their lives, their struggles? It’s like looking into other worlds. The dangers out in the wastes are one thing, its nature of man’s sin or the world’s design, but in the Vaults? It can be paradise or tailored evil. When man plays God, everyone suffers. But I suppose they were use to that kind of living. It is life, no? Just like out here. But even then, most of the time Vaults were safe. For those who first stepped out, they left that and saw nothing but, well, this. I can't imagine not having been able to grow up out here. It's shaped me, made me strong, and I can survive because of it. I don't lament my life being hard, like I said it's made me who I am, but I can't help but put myself in their shoes. Having to learn all this after a life in a Vault? That is a cruelty on its own.

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

C: Well, you can see how it’s effected me. I’m just like any other ghoul I guess. Oh...I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for when my skin really starts to come off. Oh-- Ah! One good thing I suppose! I no longer get sick. I mean, I still get the fatigue and pain but I don’t get colds like I use to. That alone lets me do more than I could when I was a kid. Bright sides, right?

E: I don’t have an extra arm yet, so I don’t think its effected me much. I try to keep radaway on me though, it always has it’s uses. 

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

C: Oh I love bloatflies! They’d kind of ugly, but also sort of cute? Just like me!

E: I’ll admit I have a certain fondness for our nightstalker Sawyer. There’s intelligence behind those eyes...well, some semblance of it anyway. Still, she’s here for a reason. Although...they’re not very common up here-- actually I don’t think I’ve seen any up here, but frogs. I really really love frogs. 

What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?

C: RADROACHES. I don’t see too many creatures thankfully but these manage to get everywhere and I hate it!

E: Centaurs are some unholy creation of man and should be purged from this life and the next. They and feral ghouls...I say a prayer for them before I pull the trigger. Whomever they were before they didn’t deserve that.

How do you feel about robots?

E: They’re fine for the most part. Just bits and bobs that can sometimes have a personality, although I’ve seen some being used to cheat death. Those ones are abominations. 

C: Yesman! Oh I love him. Ah, I’ve met other robots before too but I never got to know them well. Vegas doesn’t seem to have much aside from securitrons, though.  

How many caps do you have on you right now?

C: A lot more than what we--

E: That is absolutely none of their business!

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

E: Sarsaparilla, easily. 

C: Emi just says that because nuka give her hives!

Do you do chems?

C: Emi made me swear never to touch Med-X. She told me it’s stronger than the stuff we use but nowhere near worth the addiction. I’ve seen some of what she means, so I don’t plan on breaking that promise. Colitas are just fine for me. 

E: Some of ‘em yeah. Mostly for work though. Heh, I even make my own brand of kick in the ass. Yeah...Flake’ll get you through just about anything. The high’s crazy but the crash is insane. I mostly prefer the natural stuff. Peyote comes in handy when I need a good bit of life insight.

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

E: A lot actually. It’s quite interesting, they lived a lot differently than us but at the same time not. It’s funny to see how routine human nature is. 

C: Sometimes. Emi still brings back old world books that she finds and I read them when I feel like it. The one’s with photographs are nice. A snapshot in time, as Emi says. She certainly finds them more interesting than I do. 

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

C: I was very insistent one night, and I wish I hadn’t been. Things would have been different if I had just stayed in bed.  

E: Ha! You are asking an assassin what their biggest regret it. There is nothing, I assure you. 

What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

C: I got a job! I have a home, I have friends. I’m...normal. Ha!

E: Ah hell, give me a minute to think of the nastiest bastard I’ve ever ‘in’directly put into power...

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

E: I’m getting old, I don’t need a future. And I’m just one person, the world will go on when I’m dead. Cam though, she’s got what? Centuries? That’s a long fuckin time to think about. Raul’s tried to tell me what it’s like but it just feels-- It just doesn’t click. No way in hell I’m making it that long. I just have to figure some way of making this place as secure as possible for Camila.

C: I just want to be independent! I love Emi dearly but she’s a bit much at times. Especially now...and I’m scared I won’t be able to do a lot on my own once she’s gone. Vegas is good for me. I have friends here and there’s jobs that I can manage. Even if Emi wants to move again, I’m staying. I have to. I have a future here, I can see it. 

[crossinginstyle]

Outlander Fic: First Time Here?

Work Title: First Time Here?

Rating: M Summary: Inspired by that one tweet I saw posted on Tumblr, the one that says; "Shoutout to my bartender. I've been here on dates with 4 different dudes in the last 6 months and he hits me with "Ma'am, is this your first time here? every time. #GoodLookinOutMyMan" Or, the one where Jamie is a bartender and Claire is a long-time customer who keeps bringing in disappointing dates in the months after dumping Frank. Ao3 Link

(Special Shoutout to @sassy-sassenach for the amazing moodboard! Pretty sure she’s psychic considering she made this before reading the fic lol.)

Chapter 1/2

“Nice place,” Garret said, looking around the dimly lit pub.

“Yeah,” I agreed, trying to look at the mahogany furniture, the tartan wall tapestries, and hear the soft plucking of guitar from the eyes of someone who’d never seen it before. But I was very familiar with Fraser’s Ridge…especially of late.

“Kind of kitschy though,” he said, and I bit back a retort of defense.

It had been like a second home in college, my friends and I had relied on it for a late-night greasy burger on school nights, and cheap beer and whiskey shots on the weekend. And when Frank and I had started dating, it had more or less become our place.

But after four years of dating, and an additional three years of engagement, I discovered that Professor Frank Randall was providing study help with a certain buxom, blonde student named Sandy that didn’t end with flash cards.

Maybe I shouldn’t have relied on my best friend Joe’s advice, which had been to get off the sofa, put away the ice cream, and get back out there and date. Date as much and as frequently as possible. And if those dates ended with a good shag, all the better.

Well, none of my dates so far in the four months since I’d gotten back in the proverbial saddle had ended up in my bedroom, but I had been rather hopeful that maybe Garrett would be the lucky one.

He was tall, handsome, and since we met at the gym I’d seen him shirtless and found the sight very pleasing.

But the way he was sticking his nose up at the pub was making me start to wonder if he wasn’t a bit stuck up himself.

Meanwhile, my other friend, Louise, had advised me against continuing to bring my dates to the pub.

“They’ll know you’re a regular,” she had said. “Someone is bound to ask about the other guy you took there last week. Not to mention it was where you and Frank used to frequent.”

But the pub was where I felt most comfortable, had been long before Frank, and I wasn’t about to let him take it away from me.

And besides, I had an unspoken arrangement with the owner and bartender, Jamie Fraser.

“First time here, lass?” he said, appearing on the opposite side of the bar, wiping a glass.

“Yeah, for the both of us!” I said cheerfully. “What do you recommend?”

“Our cheeseburgers can’t be beat,” he said, simply offering my favorite item on the menu.

“Sounds good to me,” I said. “And a whiskey, please.”

“Same for you?” Jamie asked Garrett, a little less cordially than he had spoken to me.

“God no,” Garrett wrinkled his nose and quirked a grin at me. “You think I got abs like this eating red meat? What vegetarian options do you have, mate?”

Jamie narrowed his eyes at my date, looking like he was just barely managing not to roll them. “Weel, ye can have a cheeseburger…minus the cheese and burger.”

“I’ll just have a wine spritzer,” Garrett said impatiently.

Jamie froze, his rag and glass hanging limply in his hands as he just stared at Garrett in disgust. His gaze slowly drifted to me, and I fixed my own eyes on a water ring on the bar instead.

“I’ll…just get those started for ye,” Jamie said quietly, and I looked up in time to see the bastard’s shoulders shaking as he walked away.

“Weirdo,” Garrett muttered before beginning to regale me on the amount of weight he was able to bench press.

Jamie returned a few minutes later with our drinks. One wine spritzer, and one whiskey – two fingers, a splash of water, exactly how I took it.

He gave me a quick searching look, then one of his characteristic “winks” which amounted to him just blinking with both eyes like a sleepy owl, before walking away again.

“Can you believe that guy?” Garrett said once Jamie was out of earshot. “Here you are on a date and he’s checking you out.”

“He is not,” I laughed. “He’s just being a good bartender.”

Garrett snorted. “Yeah. Sure. How much you think he lifts?”

I glanced over at Jamie, at where his biceps bulged under his rolled up sleeves. “How would I know?” but I did know that while he spent his nights working at the pub, he spent his mornings at his family’s farm, breaking horses, hauling hay barrels, carrying calves. I imagined he could probably lift twice what Garrett could, only in the form of bags of feed.

When I’d been in college, Fraser’s Ridge had been run by Jamie’s father and godfather. I had the fondest memories of Brian and Murtagh bickering behind the bar, teaching a teenaged Jamie how to mix drinks.

When Brian died, Jamie took over his father’s share of it, and the family farm had been left to Jamie’s sister and her husband.

Because I knew all of this, I knew Jamie hardly had time to frequent the gym.

The date never really looked up after that. All Garrett would talk about was exercising and clean eating, and he stared in disgust at my burger.

All of that didn’t stop him, however, from asking to come back my place.

“Um, no thanks,” I said, trying to remain polite about it. “I think I’m going to just call it a night.”

Garrett’s brow furrowed. “The hell you mean? I thought we had an understanding here.”

“Understanding?” I asked. “And just what does that mean?”

He scoffed. “Come on, you hit on me at the gym, flashing your low-cut tank top, invite me to a bar you admit is down the block from your apartment. I buy you some drinks and a burger. What am I supposed to expect?”

I straightened up on the stool, glaring at him. “You’re supposed to expect to have a nice evening of getting to know me. That’s all you get to expect. As for the drinks and burger, thanks, but I can pay for my own.”

“Don’t be a bitch!” he snapped, catching the sight of a shadow appearing over the bar beside him.

Jamie stood there, large and forbidding. “Everything alright here?” he asked, his voice calm and polite, while his eyes were anything but.

“Could I get another drink?” I asked quietly, resignedly. It was our code. If the night was over, but I had no intention of leaving the bar with my date, I’d ask for another drink. Jamie knew that to mean my date needed shown to the door.

“Aye lass, right away,” Jamie said, eyes never leaving Garrett. “You can settle your tab wi’ Murtagh over there, sir. And it will include th’ burger and whiskey.”

Garrett leapt to his feet, chest puffed out. “Like hell it will.”

Jamie slowly came around the bar to our side. What I don’t think Garrett realized was that there was a step there that brought Jamie up to his true height, which…even though Garrett was tall…Jamie had almost a whole head on him.

Garrett snorted and backed down, heading for the register where Murtagh was standing, glaring as forebodingly as his godson.

I sighed in relief once Garrett was gone, and slumped against the side of the bar. And here I’d gone and bought a brand new little black dress for this. Jamie sat down on Garrett’s vacated stool and eyed my sympathetically.

“Are ye alright, Sassenach?”

“I’m fine,” I said. “Just…” I groaned. “Tired.”

“Well I must say, I didn’t think I’d ever see a date of yours I like even less than Frank, but that one came close.”

I chuckled. “Oh come off it, you didn’t dislike Frank when I was dating him. You only hate him because of why I do.”

Jamie wrinkled his nose, but it was considerably cuter than when Garrett did it. “Och, no. I only put up wi’ the bastard for your sake.”

I laughed and shoved at his shoulder. “Well you might have said something sooner! Maybe I would have dumped him before he had the chance to cheat on me.”

“If I’d known ye would have listened to your bartender, I would have!”

I smiled in thanks at Murtagh, who set two glasses of whiskey before us. “Come on, Jamie, everyone knows there’s no one in the world you can trust more than your bartender. Besides, you’ve known me forever.”

“Aye, I have,” he said softly, and I looked over at him puzzledly, wondering at that tone.

He shook it off though and straightened, taking a sip of whiskey. “How many is that, anyway?”

“How many drinks or how many guys?” I clarified, and he gave me a teasing look.

“I ken exactly how many drink’s ye’ve had, Sassenach.”

I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling. “That’s…oh God…six! Six different first dates in four months…and no second ones. What’s wrong with me, Jamie?”

“Not a thing,” he said firmly. “You’re intelligent, witty, no’ to mention gorgeous.”

My eyebrows raised in surprise. In all the years Jamie and I had been friends, he’d never showered me with compliments like this…nor had he ever looked at me that way before.

“Ye may no’ have th’ best taste in men though,” Murtagh muttered as he passed by.

“Be nice, ye auld coot,” Jamie chuckled.

“He has a point,” I admitted. “But I’m done. I am swearing off of men. I’ve lasted this long with only my vibrator for company, after all.”

Jamie had been mid-sip when I spoke, and he inhaled suddenly, causing him to cough and splutter and turn a marvelous shade of red that matched his hair.

“Christ!” he exclaimed, but whether it was about choking or what I’d said, I didn’t know, but I laughed hysterically either way.

“You’re so easy to fluster!” I cried, nearly falling off my stool.

He glowered at me, though he face was still pink. “Not as easy as that other guy. What, two, three dates ago? Karen?”

“Casey,” I corrected drolly.

“Casey,” Jamie scoffed. “Ye crossed your legs in that wee green skirt of yours and he near went into cardiac arrest.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, he was cute.”

“So why didn’t ye see him again? At least he was a gentleman.”

Shrugging, I re-crossed my legs, and didn’t miss the way the movement drew Jamie’s eyes. “I don’t know. I just didn’t feel any spark with him I guess. Hey wait…you remember what I wore three weeks ago?”

Jamie huffed and shrugged his own shoulders. “Oh…well…I didn’a know for sure. Lucky guess.”

“Sure,” I said, smirking. “So…how are things going with that girl you were seeing?”

“Annalise?” he asked. “Oh…no, we broke up months ago.”

I frowned. “Really? You didn’t tell me. What about that other girl? The one Murtagh said was following you around like…and these are his words…a dog in heat. Leghair?”

Jamie laughed, and my eyes were curiously drawn to the way his jugular moved. “Laoghaire? Christ no! After trying to let the lass down gently, I later found out that she’d gotten hold of a lock of my hair somehow and made a fucking voodoo doll!”

I laughed along with him, hand over my mouth. “How do you think she got your hair?!”

“Dinna ken…but I think she paid one of my nephews for it.”

I shook my head. “So basically we’re both bad at relationships.”

Jamie frowned in affront. “I’ll have ye know I’m a verra good boyfriend.”

“That so?” I asked, wondering how a man could smell so damned good between working at a farm and a bar.

“Oh aye. If you’re ever in the mood tae find out, just let me know.”

I glanced up at him in surprise, and found him looking away, his fingers tapping nervously on his jean-clad thigh. I reached over and covered his hand with mine, drawing his eyes back to mine.

“And just…what would you do? As my boyfriend?”

“Well…” he began, smiling shyly. “I’d start wi’ taking ye out to a nice dinner. Watching ye eat a burger is a treat tae be sure, but our first date should be different. We could go dancing, then walk through the park.”

“Sounds romantic,” I said. “And I suppose you’d walk me home?”

“Of course I would. Straight to your door, as is proper.”

“And then what?”

His cheek dimpled as he fought down his smile. “Weel, a kiss on th’ first date may no’ be proper, but perhaps if the night has gone well, I might ask if it’s okay.”

I let my hand run over his, delighting in the feel of the calluses on his palm. “And if I say yes?”

“Then I will,” he said quietly. “I’ll try tae make sure it’s one to remember.”

“And then?”

He chuckled. “And then I say goodnight, and that I’ll call ye the next day, only I’ll probably text you that night, since I can hardly wait to talk to ye again.”

“And…what if I ask you inside for coffee?”

Jamie affected a mock scowl. “Now then, lass, I’m no’ that kind o’ man. Ye’ll have to wait until at least the…third date.”

I nodded solemnly. “Quite right. No sense rushing. I suppose the only step now is…to ask me out.”

A hand suddenly slammed down on the bar next to us, making us both jump. Murtagh leaned over, eyes dancing behind his scowl.

“If you two dinna stop your blathering and get out of here, I’m going tae pour a bottle of seltzer on ye.”

“You heard the man,” I said, hopping off my stool and dragging Jamie with me.

“But all th’ restaurants will be closed now,” Jamie pointed out.

“You can still take me on a walk through the park. Besides, how many drinks have you bought me over the years? If you count those as dates, this has been our, what, fiftieth? Don’t you think it’s time to…come over for coffee?”

Jamie’s eyes widened comically, and I used his surprise as distraction so that I could stand on tiptoe and kiss him.

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t always somewhat wondered what it would be like to kiss Jamie Fraser. And right then the only thought it my mind was…

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ why haven’t I done this sooner?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Jamie whispered, and I blushed at the realization that I’d said the words out loud.

We left the pub hand in hand, Murtagh shaking his head at us as we went.

[jollyreginaldrancher]

Subtle changes that would have saved certain shitty story arcs in Pretty Little Liars

Not gonna lie, this show isn’t great and shittiness is true to its form, and while the A reveals are -at the very least- memorable, there was a lot of crap writing in between that just ruined certain hold-over storylines that were supposed to pretty much be filler until the next big thing. Here’s some subtle changes that would have vastly improved some of those storylines.

1. Talia: Talia swooped in when Emily was extremely vulnerable after the dissolution of her longest running, and most serious relationship. She had the potential to help poor Emily but instead just left her more damaged. And honestly we have seen enough of Emily getting screwed, especially in the romantic department (not that way though) and getting kicked when she was down was the last thing she needed. 

How this should’ve gone: Emily needed an Obi Wan, not an Ezra. In a brief span she lost swimming, Paige and Stanford. She was directionless and had no ambition. Talia (or maybe one of the moms. Ideally her own) should have taken her under her wing and helped her find a new passion. Through her tutelage, Emily should have finished her college arc and gotten into her dream school in California and for the first time in this goddamn show, had a relationship with a female character that didn’t eventually devolve into a romance. 

2. Hanna returning to Caleb after he came back from Ravenswood. It was cringy and fanservicey and just horrible regression on Hanna’s part. She had a great guy (Travis) who didn’t deserve to just get tossed like that, and as a slap in the face, insta-replaced by her ex, who just ditched her and left town for a while and moved on with his soulmate or whatever the heck, and just aloofly enabled her rebellious streak when he came back.

What should’ve happened: Her identity crisis should’ve ended with her realizing she was regressing to the ideals Alison instilled in her in order to control her, (ie that self worth was tied to how much people wanted you and needing to have a boyfriend and be wanted in order to feel validated) and that being near her was messing with her head so she should have cut ties with her, in the interest of self care, even if it meant cutting ties with the other girls as well. and she should’ve picked Lucas and Mona over Alison and low-key sided with them in the fifth season’s MonAlison war.

3. Spoby: What should have happened with them is a slow burn romance that was cut short in the third season with the reveal that he was on the A team. Spencer is cautious and finds it extremely hard to trust people so she shouldn’t have jumped into a relationship with him so quickly, especially considering she spent half of season one accusing him of murder. There’s no way she would get so deep with him in like, half a season alone, let alone have that on and off relationship and yet act like they were together all along in season three. It was just a mess. What should have happened is a really slow burn with them not really coming together until season three, just before the betrayal, in order to make it sting that much more.

And ultimately, she should’ve been left jaded by his betrayal and not been so quick to trust him or anyone else, and take him back. She’s Spencer, for god’s sake, not Aria! As it stands, all he did was sook a bit in order to win her back. Dude should have grovelled for a chance with her and ultimately worked up a tentative friendship with her by the end of the show, by being consistently loyal. Show should have left off in an optimistic ‘maybe they will get back together, maybe not’ manner and not straight up "yeah, I know my twin raped him but we’re banging again and I think we might be back together”.

4. Ezria. Just Ezria. There is no way that should have lasted after HIS betrayal. Not even sorry. He should have followed them to NY, got shot, and while trying to help him, the girls should have found a notepad, pen, and a voice recorder on his person. Livid, Aria should have written a message telling him never to contact her again, and not to even think about writing that book on them, otherwise she’ll go to the police and accuse him of rape, and then crushed his recording device, and starting out a dark!Aria arc. Cut to Ezra reading the message in a hospital room and angrily chucking it across the room before a familiar figure approaches (A) and draws his attention.

5. There should have been more focus on mental health, especially after critical meltdown points for the characters. Instead of just “Yup, went to the doctor and I’m fine now” they should have delved deeper into these traumas. Emily KILLED a person. Spencer blacked out in the woods out of grief. Paige was clearly suicidal! Mona’s mental state is so vague and someone should have diagnosed Alison with narcissism at the very least, years ago. The dollhouse should essentially have been followed up by at least half a season where they’re desperately trying to recover but failing because they’re rushing or just not dealing with what’s wrong up there. Radley should have played a more prominent role then, and maybe some or all girls should have been moved there for their own protection from that point on.

6. Alex Drake should not have been Spencer’s twin. At the very least it should’ve been Alison’s twin. Maybe passed it off as Spencer after extensive surgery OR by utilising those damn masks that have been showing up since about season three or four for no goddamn reason.

7. Alison trying to whitewash her story and play the victim, and Sara Harvey trying to do the same should’ve sent alarm bells shooting off in Emily’s head. She honestly should not have trusted her, and especially after all the crap she pulled, she should NOT have trusted Alison. It should have been a clue that she was A all along because her having feelings for Emily was just never on the table and they did not do the groundwork to set up an Emishit endgame at all. Alison wasn’t a love interest and she wasn’t a liar and she wasn’t a relative or a friend either so the only reason to show her as much as they did was if she was A herself, so they HAD to go that way OR kill her off. That’s literally the only way to rule her out at this point because of how they handled her in general.

8. Ezra should have come back as a villain who’s mad he didn’t get to finish his story, and not stayed on as Aria’s romantic interest indefinitely. That was ridiculous. He should’ve teamed up and provided surveilance and become obsessed with Aria and the girls and finding ways to cross them and ultimately he should have been killed off in an ironic way that involves a lot of cameras or something along those lines.

9. There were too many creeps and too many cops and too many creepy cops in Rosewood and honestly Garrett was just pretty superfluous. And the whole ‘Spencer should not make assumptions and jump the gun all the time’ message they tried to send with Ian being killed off didn’t really stick because of his involvement in the NAT club so I think instead someone else should have been responsible for those tapes like Jason perhaps, or Garret, and Ian’s name should’ve been cleared when he died, because it rings differently when an innocent man dies because of a misunderstanding than when a creep does. A lot of people tried to justify it with “yeah but he kissed Spencer” and maybe if he had an excuse like that he was blackmailed or threatened by Alison then his death would have been more dramatic. Jason for example, kept showing up but being a red herring and being generally irrelevant for the most part and this would have tied him in a bit better. It could have been a revenge thing or a ‘expose the town’s evil’ thing. He was an angry, disenfranchised young man who had substance abuse issues. It’s less of a stretch honestly for him to try to do a project where he tries to name and shame people around town for looking down on him for being a stoner, especially his sister. And he had those creepy ass pictures of Aria which hint at him stalking her, which he tried to explain away as Alison’s doing. It could be that he took them as well as the video of the girls changing, because he had the hots for her and just didn’t have the guts to tell her because she was younger and his sister’s friend.

10. Nate St Germain. Killing Maya off was bad enough but hinting at it being tied to the rest of the mystery through “Maya knew” and then coping out of it was just terrible. Maya should’ve just taken the greyhound out of town after waiting for Emily, and leaving her a ‘goodbye’ note that subtly revealed she was being stalked but didn’t leave enough information to find her or her stalker, and Nate should’ve come to town pretending he’s her cousin, and looking for her BEFORE her ‘death’. In fact her death should’ve alltogether been avoided, with Emily eventually managing to get in touch with her and finding out she’s hiding in that lighthouse and bringing Paige and Nate with her to find her and bring her home, but being led there by A in a failed attempt to get her away from him in order to warn her, by pretending to be Maya and that she wants to talk to her alone. Her recklessness should’ve caused Paige to get stabbed defending her and Nate being taken out by a cop while Maya thanked her and Paige and apologised for getting them involved, and explained that her family was moving back home and she was going with them, and her and Emily cutting things off but remaining friends, while Emily realises what a champ Paige is and how low her self esteem that she would take a knife for her, and forcing her to promise to never do anything like that again. Paige and Emily should have been trying their best at being friends at this point and working overtime to deny their chemistry, and with this scene where Maya and Emily finally end things for good, should have given Emily the closure she needed and finally enabled her to be honest and open with Paige and start something new again with her. 

More will probably follow.

[unrcality]

                  ‘ hello,  mister  garrets. ‘    the  old  man  looks  up  through  his  glasses  as  he  enters,  having  to  slide  them  back  up  on  his  nose.    the  soft  sound  of  the  door  bell  lingers  as  nomi  heads  inside,  inhaling  deeply.    he  takes  frequent  visits  to  the  bookshop,  but  it’s  been  a  while  since  he  stopped  by,  and  the  warm  smile  on  mister  garrets’  face  makes  him  feel  welcomed  back  after  all  this  time.

                  ‘ it’s  been  a  while,  has  it  not,  devlin?    how  are  you  and  your  husband? ‘

                  ‘ still  married, ‘    he  replies,  walking  over  to  the  section  of  new  books  to  see  if  there’s  anything  he  might  want  to  pick  up.    ‘ things  are  a  lot  calmer  now...    he’s  working  a  lot,  but  i’m  picking  up  the  pace  on  daily  life  so-and-so. ‘    one  book  is  taken  into  his  hand,  flipped  around  so  he  can  read  what  the  summary  is.    fictional.    crime.    not  his  favourite  genre,  so  it’s  a  maybe.

                  ‘ that’s  good.    i  was  wondering  what  i  had  to  do  to  get  you  back  down  here.    people  are  still  asking  about  your  works  and  if  you’re  planning  on  coming  back? ‘

                    nomi  turns  in  his  direction  with  a  frown,  causing  the  man  to  hold  his  hands  up  with  a  chuckle.    ‘ don’t  shoot  the  messenger. ‘

                    after  a  moment  of  thought,  nomi  shakes  his  head  a  bit.    ‘ it’s  still  the  same  as  announced...    i  don’t  plan  on  going  back  to  something  that  felt  like  a  chore.    there’s  just  so  many  things  in  my  head  that  i  can  put  down  on  paper.    it  went  from  a  passion  and  a  coping  mechanism  to  how-fast-can-i-push-this-out-to-mindless-followers-only-looking-at-the-name...    it  wasn’t  the  same,  mister  garrets,  and  i  don’t  think  it  ever  will  be. ‘

                  ‘ so  you’re  basically  jobless  now? ‘                   ‘ if  you  aren’t  counting  showering  my  husband  in  love  as  a  job,  then  yes. ‘                   ‘ i  never  took  you  for  such  a  romantic,  devlin. ‘

                    a  soft  scoff  leaves  him  as  he  picks  up  another  book.    fiction,  suspense.    it  seems  a  good  read,  so  he  brings  it  with  him  to  the  desk  where  the  other  sits  with  his  newspaper.    ‘ i’m  sorry  i  didn’t  stop  by  sooner.    i...    i  heard  about  your  condition.    will  you  be  okay? ‘

                    mister  garrets  blinks  at  him  for  a  bit  before  sighing  quietly,  closing  his  read.    he  doesn’t  start  registering  nomi’s  buy  yet,  knowing  that  he  usually  goes  back  to  pick  up  some  more  before  giving  him  the  okay.    ‘ you’ve  always  been  the  only  one  caring  about  this  old  man,  nomi.    the  store  isn’t  going  bad,  all-in-all,  but  there’s  not  much  to  my  name  here.    just  your  ordinary  bookshop.    still...    it  saddens  me  to  know  the  future  of  it. ‘

                    nomi  blinks  a  bit.    ‘ what  do  you  mean...? ‘                   ‘ well...    once  this  gets  to  me  and  ends  me,  there’s  no  one  to  carry  everything.    i’ll  lose  the  entire  building,  including  my  home  and  whatever’s  here.    i’ve  never  established  a  family,  after  all.    you  know  how  i  was. ‘                   ‘ yeah...    you  told  me... ‘

                     while  not  close  friends,  nomi  has  always  had  a  special  bond  with  this  man.    he’s  never  given  up  on  this  shop  and  his  life,  refusing  to  retire  to  the  point  he  has  to  navigate  around  with  the  help  of  a  stick  and  sometimes  a  wheelchair.    he  should  have  had  his  freedom  a  long  time  ago,  and  instead  he  continued  to  pursue  his  life  in  this  shop.    nomi  hates  the  idea  of  it  all  dying  with  him,  and  it  shows  on  his  features,  for  mister  garrets  hand  sticks  out  to  tap  at  his  hand  to  regain  his  attention.

                  ‘ i  cannot  stop  my  condition  from  worsening,  and  so  i  cannot  save  everything  here...                     it’s  sad,  but... ‘                   ‘ let  me  take  it. ‘

                    the  old  man  sits  in  stunned  silence  for  quite  some  time,  blinking  and  unable  to  move.    for  a  moment,  nomi  is  almost  scared  he’s  dying  right  there  in  front  of  him,  but  shortly  after  there’s  a  shaky  breath,  and  the  man’s  eyes  begin  to  well  up  with  tears  as  he  smiles.    he  takes  nomi’s  hand  in  both  of  his  trembling  ones,  bending  down  until  his  forehead  meets  his  knuckles  and  a  sniffle  escapes  him.    all  he  manages  to  let  out  is  a  sobbed  ‘thank  you’  before  he  dissolves  into  a  state  of  pure  happiness,  and  nomi  can’t  help  but  smile  warmly.

                  ‘ yeah...    i’ll  take  over  the  shop  for  you  and  keep  it  alive,  mister  garrets...    it’s  the  least  i  can  do  after  all  your  years  of  dedication  to  this  place... ‘    the  old  man  continues  to  cry  happily  before  managing  to  sit  up  with  nomi’s  help,  trying  to  wipe  at  his  tears.    ‘ th-thank  you,  nomi...    thank  you  so  much...    i  wouldn’t  want  anyone  else  to  do  this  for  me...    it’s--    it’s  yours...    i’ll  sort  everything  out  as  soon  as  i  can  a-and...    and  i’ll  leave  it  all  to  you... ‘                   ‘ please  don’t  push  yourself  too  much. ‘                   ‘ no,  the  sooner  the  better...    who  knows  when  my  heart  will  give  out? ‘

                    he  attends  the  funeral,  being  one  of  very  few  to  come.    it’s  a  public  service,  though  due  to  the  man’s  lack  of  family,  it’s  mostly  people  who  appreciated  his  dedication  to  his  shop  in  the  same  way  nomi  did.    it’s  not  long  since  they  talked,  and  once  it’s  over,  nomi  gets  the  car  and  goes  to  the  small  building  in  the  city  where  the  shop  is  as  well  as  the  huge  apartment  above  it.    keys  are  used  to  open  the  front  door,  and  when  he  walks  in,  the  first  thing  he  spots  is  a  note  on  the  desk  with  his  name  on  it.

                                                            dear  nomi.

                                                            upstairs  you’ll  find  a  book  with  all  the                                                             information  i  regretfully  couldn’t  teach                                                             you  before  things  started  going  downhill.                                                             you  already  know  the  basics,  and  i  have                                                             no  doubt  in  my  mind  that  you’ll  do  this                                                             little  home  of  mine  justice.    thank  you  for                                                             all  you’ve  done  for  me,  and  may  we                                                             see  each  other  again.

                                                            your  friend,  gary  garrets.

                    a  single  drop  hits  the  small  paper,  and  nomi  moves  his  arm  up  to  wipe  at  the  tears  while  a  sad  chuckle  leaves  him.    into  the  silence  of  the  dark  shop:

                                                  ‘ of  course  your  first  name  had  to  be  gary,  stupid  old  man... ‘

[xxbyimm]

The Landlord - Richard Armitage x Reader

Link to my Masterlist.

This is a fic request for the lovely @thorin-thoughts. Thank you so much hun for your patience! I hope you like it!! Thank you @deepestfirefun for proofreading it! You’re a dime <3

The landlord - Richard Armitage x reader

Request/summary:  I want a one shot based off my imagine of "Richard enjoys walking around the house naked just so you stare at him" ;)

Warnings: Sexual tension. Nothing too explicit.

Taglist: @fizzy-custard If you wish to be tagged in my upcoming drabbles, let me know :) <3

After everything you had been through today, this is just what you needed. You groan as you watch the thick black smoke escaping through the hood of your car. You heave a sigh. It is late at night, you’re tired as fuck after your shift at work and all you want to do is go home. Go home and share your bed with your two favorites lads: Ben & Jerry. A brief smile crosses your face when you think about that lovely ‘Karamel Sutra Core’ flavor pint that is waiting for you in the fridge. Yum!

A frightening noise from your car pulls you back into reality again. Oh god, it’s about to give up… ‘No, no, baby.’ You whisper at your car.

Yeah, you know it’s pretty pointless to talk at a vehicle, but at this stage you’re willing to try anything. You can’t afford a new car. You probably can’t even afford the reparations that are needed to patch up your beloved beauty. ‘Hold on! Please hold on!’ you whimper.

But your car isn’t having any of it and you find yourself on the side of the road. You wince and jump from your seat to take a look. When you open the hood, a weft of smoke blows into your face, causing you to cough. You wave it away with your hands and stare at the engine. Well, this is great. You have no clue. None. What could be the problem? Is it even safe to touch these overheated…. components? You curse yourself for not paying attention to any of the things your father told you when he bought this car for you. At that time, you assumed he would always be there to help you out with these things. Likewise, you were also deadly sure that Garrett would be there for you when you needed him. Ironically, both were gone now… You roll your eyes when you think about them. Let’s hope their new loves are worth it. You never want to see those two cheating bastards again.

You heave a sigh as you push the hood back into its original position. Great. Your car is officially broken and you have no idea how to solve it. To make it even better, you’re in the middle of nowhere. You shrug and grab your bag from the passenger’s seat. Where’s that damn phone? Feverishly you search for your phone, but it’s not in your purse. ‘Where is it?’ you shout, frustrated. You empty your bag on the driver’s seat and seek through your belongings, but your phone isn’t there. ‘You got to be kidding me.’ You mutter when you realize why your phone isn’t where it should be. Because you left it in the socket. At work. To charge your battery.

You throw your stuff back into your bag again and close your car. Now what? You have no means to get a tow truck for your car… You shrug and start walking. Seems you have to find a living soul in these abandoned parts. Preferably with a phone, but infinite knowledge about fixing cars is also welcome…

You have walked for about half an hour when you suddenly stop and realize where your feet have taken you. If you had known where you were going (and paid more attention to the road instead of listening to your iPod…) you’d never venture here again. But, here you are. You tilt your head and take in the beauty of the massive manor house that is in front of you. Its breathtaking architecture never seems to stop amazing you. You exhale slowly. Despite its beauty, it’s the last place you want to be in. Why? Simple.

It’s Garret’s house.

Well, technically it isn’t Garret’s house. Your ignorant ex-boyfriend happens to rent the attic from the owner of this magnificent house. You press your lips together and try not to smile when you think about mister Armitage, who lives on the ground floor. Mister Armitage… the tall and muscular (but yet so refined…) landlord with blue eyes that pierce through your soul and dark brown short hair that makes you bite your lip. And then you didn’t even mention his beard! Oh, how you long for that beard to scratch your skin… Everywhere. That guy is the definition of hot.

You bite back a giggle and ascend the stairs up to the terrace. You let your fingers float above doorbell for a moment before you press it. You sigh when you hear movement in the house. Maybe being here isn’t that bad at all…

‘Y/N? What are you doing here?’ mister Armitage asks as he opens the door. ‘Garrett isn’t home. He’s out with…’ He frowns. ‘I believe her name was… Susan? I don’t remember…’ ‘Mister Armitage.’ You say and smile politely as you try NOT to stare at the only garment he is wearing.

A towel.

And boy, that towel is about to give in to the law of gravity.

You blink a few times and resist the urge to lick your lips. ‘I’m sorry to disturb you at this hour…’ you stammer. ‘But my car broke down on the road, and I…’ ‘Please, just Richard is fine.’ He assures you as he opens the door a little more to let you in. When you step alongside him, you detect the musky scent of his shower gel and it makes your head fuzzy. His broad and muscular chest is close to your face and it takes all of your self-control to keep breathing properly. You try to focus on the beautiful floor tiles in the familiar hall and slip out of your coat. As the true gentleman he is, mister Armitage takes it from you and puts it on the coat rack. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by the fact that he’s scarcely dressed. ‘I haven’t seen you in a while.’ He establishes calmly as you follow him into the living room. It is sinful that you pray for that towel to drop on the floor?

Damn it girl, keep your shit together!

‘Not since…’ he stops mid-sentence and watches your reaction. ‘No, not since Garrett decided to cheat on me.’ You smirk. ‘I had no intention in seeing that prick ever again.’ ‘No, you deserve a better man.’ He nods. ‘Would you like some wine?’ ‘Yes, thank you.’ You say as you lower yourself on the luxurious black couch. The soft black leather is as divine as you remember from the one time you’ve been here. You heave a sigh. Even the furniture in mister Armitage’s house is as perfect as he is.

‘So.’ Mister Armitage begins as he ventures into the kitchen. ‘What happened to your car?’ ‘I have no idea.’ You answer. ‘I was driving home when suddenly black smoke started to appear from under the hood. And then my car made some terrifying noises. After that, it just gave up.’ Mister Armitage smiles. You hold your hands up in surrender. ‘I know. I’m an hopeless case. I don’t have a clue what’s wrong with it. But at least I figured that black smoke isn’t a good thing, is it?’ ‘No, it’s not.’ He chuckles as he fills two glasses with red wine. Apparently he remembers that red wine is your favorite type of drink. Good gods, that guy is irresistibly charming. ‘And you hoped Garrett could help you?’ mister Armitage says. ‘Actually I hoped he wouldn’t be home, and you would be able to help me out, mister Armitage.’ You admit. ‘How many times did I tell you to call me Richard?’ he purrs and that low sensual voice makes your cheeks flush. ‘I seem to forget every single time, sir.’ you shoot back, tilting your head slightly. ‘I urge you to remember.’ He presses. ‘I feel old when you call me mister Armitage.’ You giggle. ‘I’m so sorry, Richard. That was never my intention. But you know what they say…’

Something about the advantages of dating an older guy… In your opinion, they easily best men from your own age. They’re just so much more experienced and their confidence is sexy…. But not that you are going to tell him any of that.

‘What do they say?’ he inquires softly. ‘You don’t know?’ You breathe, not able to form coherent sentences anymore because he’s nearing you. And that towel is still barely defying gravity. His gaze burns through you as he hands you your glass of wine. Your fingers touch and it sends a pleasant shiver down your spine. ‘Enlighten me.’ He challenges. ‘It’s a secret.’ You counter him. ‘Besides, what should I do with my car?’ Richard sits down next to you and takes a sip of his wine before he answers.

Oh god. That towel isn’t going to stay in place. You bite your lip again as you try to keep yourself together. ‘Keep yourself together.’ You repeat to yourself in silence. ‘Keep yourself together…’

‘You answer my question, I’ll answer yours.’ He says casually. ‘That’s hardly fair.’ You note, feeling very distracted by his hardly covered body. ‘While you contemplate over the fact if you want to provide me with an answer or not, I’m going to change. I don’t want embarrass an honest girl like yourself.’ Richard hums.

You want to scream ‘NO!’ at him and tear off that towel of his body, but instead you take a sip of your wine too and gaze into his blue eyes. It takes all of you to not look guilty. ‘Of course.’ You finally murmur. ‘I wouldn’t want to have inappropriate thoughts about the landlord of my former boyfriend.’ He cocks a brow at you and leaves the room. You can’t help but to stare at him as his towel covered butt moves away from your view and….

You gasp as you the piece of cloth drops from Richards’ body and treats you with a glimpse of his fine butt once again before he disappears around the corner.

You exhale slowly and cover your mouth with your hand. Did he just…? Wait, did he do that on purpose?

Well, shit.

You are in trouble. Deep trouble. Pleasant trouble, but still…

You sigh. It is inevitable, something is bound to happen. This tension… It has been like this since the moment you and Richard met. You remember that day so damn well. It was early in the morning, just a few months before Garrett cheated on you. That day, a frustrated Garrett asked you to find his landlord to inform him about the fact that the sink was blocked. So you went downstairs to find this anonymous guy that you never had met before. It was rather strange that you never had seen him before, since you were came to the man’s house for over a year now. You had caught glimpses of him, but when he tried to near you, you quickly shied away. Garrett had told you to be careful around mister Armitage. He had described him as a dangerous man, one who seduced beautiful ladies like yourself on a daily basis. Just for fun, of course. But that particular morning… you still don’t know what had gotten into you, but when Garrett warned you “to put something on” before you headed downstairs… You had rolled your eyes and descended the stairs in just your babydoll dress. The inner daredevil inside of you wanted to finally see what that dangerous mister Armitage was all about.

Looking back, maybe you shouldn’t have done that.

Not that Richard was anything Garrett told you he was… He was a total gentleman. Sexy as hell, but in a polished manner. Very tempting, charming, but with respect towards the lady in question. The real dangerous thing about mister Armitage was that fatal sexual attraction between the two of you, that made it hard for you to breathe. That first time when he opened his door in nothing but a dark blue bathrobe (god that thing complemented him!) and his beautiful blue eyes roamed freely over your body… a deep reddish blush had appeared on your cheeks and you had bit your lip furiously. ‘To what do I owe the honor of having such a lovely lady at my door so early in the morning?’ he had asked you in his low seducing voice. You just stood there, unable to stop biting your damn lip. Richard just smiled and his fingers had softly touched your bottom lip to release it from your teeth. ‘Mister Armitage.’ You had breathed. ‘I am Y/N. I came to tell you that…’

You couldn't say the words, because a clogged sink was the last thing you wanted this man to inform about. He was a god.

And although this unsexy topic was quite urgent, your mind went completely blank and the sole thing you could register was the sight of his bared chest. You had a hard time resisting the urge to slip your fingers under the soft bathrobe and explore those hard muscles with your touch. Damn! You blinked a few times as you tried to regain your senses. He made it hard to even finish a simple sentence!

‘The sink...’ you managed to mutter helplessly. ‘Garrett is trying to fix it, but...’ ‘I'll call a plumber right away.’ Richard had told you as he walked into his house again.

He could just have left it at that, but unlike Garrett, Richard was a decent man. He walked upstairs with you to check on the problem. He even had helped Garrett, but established quickly that this problem could only be solved by a professional. He told your boyfriend the plumber would arrive in an hour, and left.

And you... You whimper softly when you think about that thing you did next. You should've stayed upstairs... But obviously you didn't. Instead, you muttered something about a scarf you left downstairs and ran after Richard. You reached him before he could close his door, almost bumping into him as you tried to explain that you were looking for your black cashmere shawl.

‘The only thing you were wearing when you came down, was this... nightgown.’ He had said, clearly amused by the not so innocent expression on your face. It was the lamest excuse ever and you knew it, but he did have the decency to not tell you that. ‘But now you're here...’ he had continued. ‘Can I persuade you to stay for some breakfast?’

You had obliged and when you finally came upstairs again an hour later (accompanied by a plumber though), Garrett had watched you suspiciously. For some reason, you couldn't stop smiling as you held on to the sweater Richard made you wear. It was way too big for you and you had protested against wearing it, but Richard was… quite… convincing. ‘We don’t want Garrett to think I’m trying to seduce you.’ He had teased. ‘Or… should I say this the other way around?’ The question still made you blush to this day. Richard turned out to be cute, smart and so funny... Surprisingly, you had a lot of common interests. You wish you would be able to talk with him some more, but needless to say, after this morning Garrett kept you as far from mister Armitage as he could. You assured Garrett you loved him and that nothing happened. It was true. Despite your attractions to Richard, your love for Garrett was too strong to actually pursue your raw needs for his landlord. But of course that didn’t stop you from peering at Richard’s naked body every morning when he exercised in his pool outside… You loved the way his muscles rolled under his skin as he moved. You gasped every time at the sight of his broad chest, his trained abdomen. You were certain that Richard didn’t know you were watching him, so every morning you curled up next to the window in the kitchen to enjoy the show. That’s when you also discovered that he liked to work out while he was completely bare…

‘Look what I found...’ Richards deep voice brings you back into reality again. Unfortunately, he's fully clothed now, but you must admit that the dark blue jeans and casual grey shirt fit his body perfectly. He's still a sight to enjoy. You focus on his hands and a giggle escapes your mouth when you see what he's holding.

A black shawl.

‘Strange how this thing ended up in my bedroom.’ He says as he sits next to you and hands the scarf over. You let your hands glide through the smooth material. It's cashmere, like you said. Only... you've never owned such a delicate shawl in your whole life. Did he really buy you that? You decide to play along. ‘Thank you!’ You say. ‘I don't know how it ended up in your bedroom, but I'm glad I've got it back.’ ‘I'm sure you do.’ He answers. ‘The lady in the store told me it's the best quality...’ You swallow hard and he smoothly moves closer to you. ‘Y/N’ he breathes as his lips brush over yours. ‘Please tell me... That first day... Did you feel the same as I did?’ ‘Yes.’ You manage to say. ‘Otherwise I wouldn't have feigned the loss of my not existing scarf...’ Richard chuckles and the low sound vibrates through your body. ‘Your appearance was very intoxicating to me that day...’ ‘Is that why you made me wear your sweater?’ you ask. ‘That would be one of the reasons.’ He admits. ‘Where is that thing now, I wonder?’ ‘Oh, there’s no way you’re getting it back.’ You grin. ‘It’s my favorite shirt.’ ‘So you’ll just keep my clothes without my consent?’ he states as he takes the glass of wine from your hand and puts it on the table. ‘It’s not like you need them.’ You muse. ‘I don’t?’ His low voice is making your body tremble and your breathing becomes shallow. Your tongue flicks out to wet your lip and his blue eyes follow the movement.

‘When I’m around your property, you always seem to be scarcely dressed or naked. Tell me mister Armitage, is that just a mere coincidence?’ you tease as you eye him and raise one brow. Richard laughs and runs his hands through his hair. Oh, how you long to do that for him… ‘Let me ask you a question too, miss S/N.’ he proposes as he gives you a cheeky smile. ‘If a man works out daily in his own pool, like he always has done, and he caught a lady staring at him numerous times… Is that a coincidence?’ You narrow your eyes. ‘I think you were doing it on purpose, mister Armitage.’ ‘I would never.’ Richard claims. ‘It’s inappropriate to tempt a woman that’s already taken.’ You want to reply that you’re not believing him for one bit, but then his lips move to your ear and make you forget your intentions anyway. His breath tickles the sensitive skin and a soft moan slips from your mouth. ‘Though I have admit that I enjoy the fact that you cannot seem to stop staring at me when I’m naked.’ He whispers. Your eyes meet his and you can see his clear desire in them. ‘Do I have your permission to kiss you?' he rumbles, his beard scratching your cheek slightly as he moves to your lips. ‘Yes.’ You whisper. He doesn’t waste any time and his mouth is on yours, kissing you gently. Your fingers brush through his hair and you pull him closer, deepening the kiss. Richard groans and the sound makes your blood pulse through your body in a fast speed. Your cheeks flush in a deep red color again and you moan as his tongue traces along your bottom lip. His hands roam over your body at the same time and you… You…

You whimper in protest as he suddenly breaks the kiss and watches you intently, concern all written over his face. ‘No.’ he murmurs. ‘I’m sorry, I should not have done that.’ ‘What?’ you cry out, surprised by his sudden change of heart. ‘You came to me for help, and I’m not helping you out.’ He sighs. ‘I don’t want to make you feel like you have to…’ ‘But I want this…’ you say. ‘I’m not like-’ he begins before he swallows hard. ‘I’m not going to take advantage of your compromised state.’ He insists. ‘We will fix your car first and then you can decide whether you…’ Again he doesn’t finish his sentence, but raises on his feet and offers you his hand. You’re too perplexed to protest and follow him to the main hall, where you gets your coat.

What the fuck did you do wrong?

The two of you are heading towards Richard’s car when suddenly Garrett’s vehicle pulls up in the driveway. ‘Y/N?’ Garrets shouts as he gets out the car. You don’t answer him and look away instead. Garrett turns to Richard. ‘Mister Armitage, is Y/N bothering you?’ ‘Not at all.’ Richard replies with a smile. Garrett watches you and Richard separately and you can see him doing the math. ‘Seriously, Y/N?’ he scoffs as he nears you. ‘I knew my landlord made your panties drop, but this is a very low way to try to get back to me.’ You raise your head so you can face him. ‘Excuse me, Garrett?’ ‘Y/N’s car gave up.’ Richard notes. ‘That’s why she’s here. I’m helping her out.’ ‘And you believe that?’ Garrett sneers. ‘I believe the lady what she tells me, yes.’ Richard says in an icy cold tone. ‘You should know better.’ Garrett smirks. ‘You’re almost twice her age.’ Richard takes a step forward and you can see how tensed his body is. He’s holding back his anger as long as he can. ‘I’m not going to let my tenant insult me in such a rude way.’ He growls. ‘Nor can I allow him to talk to a woman in this manner.’ Garrett clenches his jaw, fully aware that he’s on the losing side here. Richard could throw him out if it pleases him. Any time… ‘What Y/N and I are doing is our own business. If she wishes to date me Garrett, that’s her decision and that has nothing to do with the fact that you were STUPID enough to betray her in the way you did.’ Garrett is ready to reply, but Richard silences him with a single movement from his hand. ‘Remember our accordance, sir.’ Richard smirks. ‘I advise you to choose wisely.’ Garret groans and turns to you. ‘This isn’t over.’ He hisses and then he storms off upstairs.

‘If I wish to date you?’ you ask Richard with a smile. ‘Yes, Y/N.’ he whispers as his hands pull you closer to him again, making you forget how to breathe. ‘Apparently even Garrett knew your… you’re attracted to me.’ He mutters softly while he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear. ‘Was I that obvious?’ you say. ‘Depends on the question if your car really is sitting dead at the side of the road.’ he states. ‘That… mister Armitage, wasn’t a lie. It was purely coincidence.’ you breathe against his lips. ‘I swear.’ ‘I believe you.’ He purrs as his lips are touching yours again. ‘Now, Y/N… Where were we?’

[milquetoast-on-acid]

Sanctuary City p2, A Reactionary Post

Lacking Faith

Major Crimes, S6xE2: Episode Review What this episode is about: Provenza's Printer Pricing & Prickly Page & Knowledgeable Nolan The Question of Father Jonas' Guilt Rusty goes to Stepdad Looming threat of Stroh Sharon's Office & Fish Art Two Mothers The Morgue & The Church: Sharon and Sarah Fire & Water: Dealing with our emotions Sarah & Mateo Garza Sharon & Andy Conflicting Missions Sharon & Father Stan The Ending Scene(s)

I really enjoyed this episode, more so than the first part. I see the first part as exposition and this part as the start of the emotional meat to the episodic arc. There is a lot to unpack in this episode but it's focus is on emotions this time.

Hyphenated Nation: Mike Pointing out the Hypocrisy in people Mike gives me life. I love it when he points out hypocrasy in people. "What about Irish American's or German Americans?" "Doesn't seem to come up."

"Michael" I don't know why but hearing Provenza shout out Mike's full name gives me life. When the team serves the search warrant at Ian’s house. Like when have we heard anyone call him Micheal? About as rare as we hear Louie, Andrew, Francis, Fernando and Russell. Page punching Ian was pretty badass, though. 

The News Vultures Can I love how each of the news casters have their own spin on what's going on since the police haven't released any information on the Joseph's three.

This one is obviously Fox news.

Sanctuary City I love when Sharon lits into Vega and gets on her soap box. Love the rant so much. Her pointing out that them threatening deportation is going to get them no where. 

"I'm not giving up my jurisdictional authority over this case without cause." Sharon was not happy when Mason negotiated their case over to the FBI if it was a kidnapping. If it does end up coming to that you can bet damn sure that Sharon is going to fight tooth and nail for it back.

Provenza's Printer Pricing & Prickly Page & Knowledgeable Nolan

Last week I thought that the printer was new because I had thought it was white. And then this episode went and proved that was not the case. "Look you just have to do it." I love how, Wes doesn't even know why everyone has to pay Provenza to use his printer.  And takes the moment to tell Page about everyone's various quirks and how to work around them. Not that he can understand why they are the way they are. He has just learned to go with the flow - so to speak. He does get a bit snarky when he tells Page she really shouldn't interrupt Sharon.

Question: Does Page only express one emotion? Why does she always have this dower look on her face?

"This is a new federal tax." This scene reminds of when Provenza made Taylor pay ten cents a page instead of five cents. And as everyone knows five cents is the friends and family discount. Except here he's really pushing the price up really high for the feds.

Mason as a Leader "Commander Raydor leads or we go our separate ways. The End." I love this and another comparison to Taylor. I don't think I would have ever seen this much support for Sharon (as a leader) in Taylor. Taylor usually humors the FBI but didn't ever put his foot down quite like this. "Uh ever hear of money laundering?" "Uh ever hear of house flipping?" I do love this moment of the FBI thinking they found some really good information only having it turn out that it was just how the couple made their money.

The Hollywood Strangler Buzz is really terrible at coming up with an on the spot story. And I can't believe the FBI actually bought it.  And I wish Andy would have given one of the FBI agent's the cursed desk.

The Question of Father Jonas' Guilt I wasn't so convinced about about Father Jonas in the last episode but now he's looking very suspicious. Especially with him flying the coop right as the kid he had so much feeling for was found dead and they hadn't even determined if he'd been killed or not. Especially since Father Jonas is someone the kids would go with willingly and would definitely be someone who'd leave Lucas at the church. Not to mention him moving to five different diocese in six years. Some things that could be alarming... "Ryan is not interested in Kelly Garret that I can promise you." "My bond with Ryan is more intense." Both statements sound soo creepy.

"This is exactly the ending I want to avoid." Father Jonas is kind of stuck in the 50's. And as much as I want to blame Provenza, Wes and Page for their pushy interrogation. I have to put some of the blame at Sharon's feet. They are the wrong detectives to interrogate him. I would have sent either, Mike, Amy or Buzz in there. The three of them have a much gentler touch that was needed for him. Provenza hates the Catholic church, Page doesn't know subtly if it hit her in the head and Wes is a bit of a snark king.

While everyone is preoccupied with Ma Garza's explosion over the death of her son. It seems that everyone is missing the most important thing that's happening at that moment. Father Jonas seems just a little too close to Miss Rojas. "So Ryan didn't do it. Thank God." Sounds like she inadvertently told the cops that Ryan killed his step father.

Rusty goes to Step Dad "Why ask me about a gun instead of Sharon?" The answer to that question is that Rusty knows exactly what he's doing. And knows that he's got a much better chance of getting the gun and a concealed permit by speaking to Andy first. This way Rusty has someone else on his side about getting the gun. If Rusty were to go to Sharon first she'd be much more likely to say no. He's got someone as a buffer to Sharon and that will help soften the blow for him. And I also love Andy's reaction. "What!" "At least your not completely crazy." "Oh my god."

Looming threat of Stroh

Sharon's Fish Artwork and her Office

In my review of pt1 I talked about one of the kid's book Moby Dick that Sharon had on her desk and how that symbolizes Stroh and Sharon's relationship. Sharon's new artwork on her walls. One of the paintings is of a giant whale being caught by a tiny fishermen. MC is very deliberate with it's details this not a coincidence. Especially considering this really isn't the kind of artwork you would think Sharon would have. It isn't anything like any of her other artwork. And when has she ever talked about her love of fishing?

Not to mention that since Sharon's office has blown up all of her furniture and artwork is completely new. Her furniture is very sixties vintage looking to me. While the condo might have a touch of that this it's much more so prevalent here. I also really like the colors they choose. Lots of soft blues and a few splashes of bright yellow. Blue is a very calming color and Sharon would want to feel comfortable in her office. A space that's a home away from home to her. The yellow gives it a bright vibrancy to the room but there's only a small touch of it. To the point that it wouldn't overwhelm you, it's an inviting room. 

Andrea Hobbs and her slightly awkward speech about her feelings on Rusty Can we talk about how awesome this little speech Andrea gives Rusty. Her I didn't like you because I don't like kids and you were annoying but now you're an adult and mostly have out grown that annoying. Is pure awesome. And I love how she gives this speech because it's her worrying over him because he doesn't want protection. 

I don't understand why Sharon doesn't compromise. She loves making deals. I could see her making a deal with Rusty. He can get a gun and a CPL if he accepts undercover officers. And I am kind of surprised that Sharon didn't put her foot down more about the protection. I get that it's been a few years since Stroh was around - but this is Sharon we're talking about. She knows how to negotiate. I think the only thing I can think of is that...

1. Rusty is older and wiser. Rusty has grown up since season 3. He's not the same person he was before and he's not as naive as once he was. 

2. Sharon ordered undercover officers without Rusty knowledge and she saw the effects of that from a different perspective. And how something like a mother's obsessive protectiveness ended up putting a wedge between a mother and her child. 

3. Rusty is an adult. Who is capable of making his own decisions. 4. If he doesn't accept police protection he's going to need some kind of way to defend himself. 

5. Seeing that Lucas died because he didn't have access to food or his insulin. Prompts Sharon into thinking that Rusty should have a gun. In case he's separated from Protection. And this sound an awful lot like foreshadowing to me. 

Wait...Is Rusty tracking Stroh's kills? huh....why?

Shooting Range Seeing Sharon load a gun is such a contrast to Rusty firing the gun. She's instructing him but all the while she's completely focused on the gun. Rusty's confidence isn't his problem but focus might be. He certainly needs a lot of practice that's for sure.

Fire & Water: Dealing with our emotions

Sarah & Mateo Garza

This arc really seems to make a huge point in the way that Sarah deals with her emotions and grief verses the way Mateo deals with them. Sarah is volatile and angry. She feels her emotions very intensely and often lets them control her. Look at how she explodes with anger at everyone closest to her when confronted about her sons death. Her husband, priest and her son's closest friend's parents. When the search warrant is executed at their house in part one. That's the first time we get some intense emotions coming off of her. She explodes with anger at Mateo, yelling at him. Which gives the detectives a sense that there are some real problems in their marriage. 

Mateo on the other hand doesn't deal with his emotions at all. He's intensely repressed. It's not that he doesn't feel the same emotions. In fact I may argue he may feel them more intensely which may explain why he's an addict. He doesn't want to feel them. He doesn't want to feel out of control. Especially his behavior at the morgue. He was so numb almost like a walking corpse. The way he talked about his son, about how they removed his organs and stitched his body back up. In such a clinical detached way almost like he was talking about a doll or a car. 

I find it interesting that these two are married, yet so very different. It's obvious that things aren't rosy between the two of them. There's so much going on with Mateo that he's not dealing with and may even feel that he needs to hold it together to deal with Sara's volatile moods. They are such a spot light in these episodes with their emotions and the way the deal with them that they are most definitely a mirror to...

Sharon & Andy Sharon and Andy are two very different people. Something all of us fans know very well. Like Sarah Garza, Andy is an intense ball of emotions. He feels and acts first and thinks second. There have been many times when Sharon (most often) has had to hold Andy back from his emotions. Like in "Heart Failure" when the killer punched Sharon in the face. Sharon had to yell at Andy to defuse his emotions. Like Mateo, Andy is also an addict. Fortunately for Andy, he's sober and clear enough to feel his emotions. 

Since we really don't know what it was that caused Andy to drink so heavily. I suspect that it was a combination of different things. The stuff that you see as a cop could drive anyone to drink. And since Andy feels his emotions so deeply there might not have been anyone he could have talked to about them. It was also suggested in "The Ecstasy and The Agony" that Andy may have drunk because their was an emptiness inside of himself that he was desperately trying to fill. 

Sharon is much like Mateo Garza. Repressed and reserved. She feels emotions quite deeply but does not express them very easily. She takes her time in dealing with her emotions, usually by herself. Sharon is similar to Mateo in another way in that she desperately does not want to feel out of control. She has a hugely hard time feeling vulnerable in front of others. So much like the way she dealt with shooting Dwight Darnell. She detached herself from her own emotions. She was cold, probably more cold than we'd ever seen her. It's a defense mechanism for her, in that she's trying to protect herself from the intensity of her feelings. 

Unlike, Sarah and Mateo. Sharon and Andy have a much healthier relationship. They have managed to balance themselves out with the other. In a way that I can't see Sarah and Mateo ever getting to. Sharon is still Sharon and Andy is still Andy but the two of them are better people for having been in a relationship with the other. 

Andy has his anger issues but he's become a much calmer person that he was before. A lot of that has to do with his own work on himself and a lot of that has to do with his relationship with Sharon. And how her calm personality and influence temper the flame inside of himself. Like wise with Sharon. She's still very reserved and always will be but not like she was before. Andy's bright and passionate personality has helped to push Sharon much more out of her shell. She is able to enjoy life more now that she has a supportive partner.

Two Mothers

The Morgue & The Church: Sharon and Sarah

The way the morgue was lit and shot. Felt like another funeral scene. The stark colors, the natural light. The organ/funeral music that has played very subtly throughout both parts. I don't think we've had music quite like that on MC ever before. Most of it's pretty standard stuff so to me to have it so tailor made for an arc is something that stands out. 

The morgue scene is very similar in tone and the way it's shot to the ending of part 1. But where's the church scene focused on Sharon's emotions. The morgue focus' on Sarah's emotions. Lucas' mother.

Conflicting missions

Sharon & Father Stan

Anyone find it odd that Father Jonas Alcaraz has a full name but Father Stan is just called Father Stan. And I don't even know if that's his first name or last name. Maybe Father Stan has only one name. You know like Cher. 

"Are you suggesting are mission's conflict?" I also really like how Sharon talks to Father Stan in her office. Notice that she doesn't take him to her conference room or an interrogation room, the break-room or the murder room. It's her office she talks to him. Why? Because it's her inner sanctum and the place she feels most comfortable. Her office really represents her heart. 

Sharon bares her soul to him. Sometimes in matters that even Andy doesn't know or understand (as we have seen in White Lies). Father Stan is one of the very few people that she trusts to be open and vulnerable with. So got to be extremely troubling for her to find herself on the opposite side of him. 

Sharon being pulled in two different directions by challenging her faith in the catholic church verse her belief in the justice system. Is about a million times more interesting of an arc for her than her being sick. I am so jazzed about the next few episodes and seeing how she's going to have to struggle in dealing with being on the opposite side of her priest/church. This is a position that she never expected that she would ever be in but somehow has found her way to. She has dealt with the church before but this is different because this is not just any church and not just any priest. 

Speaking of Sharon being sick....whatever happened to that storyline? It's such a odd thing for them to subtly hint about it in pt1 and not doing anything with it in pt2.

I love how Sharon speaks to Father Stan after Father Jonas leaves their interrogation. Almost like she's talking to a little boy and leaving out the part that they pissed him off. I mean I understand what she was trying to do. Trying to talk it down and smooth some edges before he hears Father Jonas' side of the story.

Unfortunately for her it doesn't work. 

"We have nothing to hide." Father Stan goes from being open and very cooperative in the beginning of the episode. But by the end of the episode only a court order will force him to let the police into the church's private rooms. I find it interesting that he tells Sharon that there's no need for them to have a search warrant but he won't let them in. Neither did he tell them that Father Jonas had left until Sharon asked him. He knew what they were there for. And I understand his need to protect him but if Father Jonas hurt those boys he needs to answer for it. And While I don't think it was Father Jonas that took the boys I do think he it very likely he was molesting Ryan. 

It's also interesting that since Sharon is so open to Father Stan with herself and her own heart. He's not as reciprocal when it becomes too tough for himself. And by that I mean his emotions regarding Father Jonas. Sharon let him into her heart and now he won’t let Sharon into his. 

The ending scene(s)

I really really love what their doing for the Sanctuary City arc. The first two episodes and I'm guessing their going to continue doing this throughout the arc. Each ending scene is an poignant moment for Sharon. Part 1 features a Sharon who is almost blown away by the death of a child. To the point where she had to take a moment for herself before she broke down in front of her team. Part 2 features Sharon as she has to battle her own priest for access to a potential suspects room. And if we want to boil down the emotions that Sharon expresses in each scene. It would be...

Sadness (or depression) Anger

Could each episodes's ending express a different emotion in the stages of grief? Interestingly there are five of them and their are five episodes in this arc. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. 

I don't know if I'm reading too much into it but I think it would be kind of cool if they did that. What is becoming clear is that Sharon is at the focus of these very poignant scenes. And do you know how much I love that!

Speculation: Let's gather what we do know. Lucas may not have been murdered and his death looks like the result of him not getting insulin to treat his diabetes. He did not have access to food or was not allowed to have any. He was left at the church, wrapped in a blanket and left on the flower bed. The boys were not coherst into the car that drove them away from the field trip.  All three boys had family issues. Two with father issues and one with the looming threat of deportation. Father Jonas Alcaraz left in the middle of the missing boys not being found. 

What does this information tell us? The person who took them was someone they knew and trusted. The person who dumped Lucas' body cared about him. Probably someone with a connection to the church. Like a member of the church or one of the parents. 

Which makes me think definitely not Marvin Garret or Ryan's father. Both of them wouldn't think twice about putting Lucas' body at the church. Garret wouldn't care where he would have left his body and Ian doesn't have enough care for Lucas to put his body there. My new suspect, Ryan's mother. Miss Rojas.

What I don't like: Lots of over acting. While I like the contrasting between the two parents, Sarah's extreme emotional outbursts verses Mateo's calm almost corpse like manner. And I talk about the reason why their portrayed the way they are but Sarah was just was just too over the top. If they could have held her back a bit on that I think she would have nailed it. I think for the case with The Garza’s mirroring Shandy the point could have gotten across the same but with more subtly. I'm all for annoying FBI agents doing their job in a shitty way and MC walking all over them. But the two of them are written so brusque that they could be scaled back a bit too. 

the face of crazy

What I do like: Sharon getting an emotional arc! Sharon battling her own priest in her own church. Makes it so intensely personal for her and I love it so much! The Garza's as a mirror for Sharon and Andy's relationship. The ending scene, the morgue scene. Rusty going to Andy about a gun. Because he's smart and also because fathership. Every time I view this episode I like it more and more. And I am really excited to see how the rest of this arc is going to play out and what it will ultimately do to Sharon's psyche.

[joemcginty]

Lee Hazlewood Interview

BACKSTORY:

We were soundchecking for the Nancy Sinatra/Lee Hazlewood Loser’s Lounge shows at Fez in April of 1998, when I was called upstairs to the office for a phone call from Lee Hazlewood’s wife. To put things in perspective, in 1998 Lee Hazlewood was a mystery. No one knew where he was, and attempts to contact him for reissues were met with nasty one word faxes that said “no” and “leave me alone”. Apparently a New York filmmaker (name escapes me, apologies) had tracked him down and was in touch about licensing some of his songs. He told them that a bunch of New York musicians were putting on a show honoring his music and the music he did with Nancy Sinatra.

Thanks for Laris Kreslins and Fred Cisterna at Sound Collector for suggesting the interview.

BACKSTORY:

We were soundchecking for the Nancy Sinatra/Lee Hazlewood Loser’s Lounge shows at Fez in April of 1998, when I was called upstairs to the office for a phone call from Lee Hazlewood’s wife. To put things in perspective, in 1998 Lee Hazlewood was a mystery. No one knew where he was, and attempts to contact him for reissues were met with nasty one word faxes that said “no” and “leave me alone”. Apparently a New York filmmaker (name escapes me, apologies) had tracked him down and was in touch about licensing some of his songs. He told them that a bunch of New York musicians were putting on a show honoring his music and the music he did with Nancy Sinatra.

What could it be? A “cease and desist”? A request for licensing fees? So of course it was with great trepidation that I picked up the phone.  Jeanne Hazlewood introduced herself, and of course it wasn’t like that at all. She was so excited that an evening of Lee’s music was being presented. They wanted programs, and a videotape of the show. Of course I obliged, though still a bit nervous because, well, we take liberties at Loser’s Lounge. We had some fun with the campier numbers (later, when interviewed at WFMU he was warned that Loser’s Lounge often “has some fun” with their tributees, and he responded, “if you’re not having fun, you’re not doing it right”).

Weeks later, after receiving the tape, I got an excited call from Jeanne. He said that Lee was recovering from dental surgery (and perhaps a bit high from pain medication. He loved the tape, even the “porno rap” interpretation of “The Nights” by Double Dong.

The following year Steve Shelley was reissuing some of Lee’s solo albums, and a PR trip was planned to New York, so we coordinated a Loser’s Lounge show so that Lee could attend. He had a great time, sitting in the back, drinking Chivas, flirting with the girls and telling stories about the songs as we played them. People wanted him to sing, but he refused, instead going onstage to make a rambling, funny, and very touching speech. It is one of the highlights of the history of Loser’s Lounge.

This led to him inviting me to his 72nd birthday in Phoenix, where he sang some songs with his old friends including Al Casey. When they played an instrumental version of  “Something Stupid”, with Al playing that signature guitar lick at the intro, it was like, “That’s the guy! That’s the sound”. I got to spend time with his son Mark and daughter Debbie who were both very nice.

A little while after that, he invited me to Beaumont, Texas where he was living to discuss the possibility of the Loser’s Lounge band backing him for a New York show. This, sadly never came to fruition, but it was nice to hang out with him, even if it meant spending several hours in a casino while Jeanne and him played the slot machines. :-)

Here’s the interview for Sound Collector, with some various tidbits that I picked up in conversation. He was a talker, a storyteller, and I wish I had kept better notes at the time.

From Sound Collector magazine.

Let’s talk about when you first became interested in music. Was there music around your house when you were growing up?

Oh yeah. Just normal musicians. Nobody who did it for a living. There was loads of music. My mom liked pop music and my dad liked bluegrass. So she complained always about his liking bluegrass (laughs)—which, by the way was a “love” complaint…I grew up kinda all mixed up. I mean with music.  And then I fell in love with Stan Kenton, and the blues, ‘cause blues comes from this part of the world. So everything’s all mixed up.

When I listen to your records, you can hear both of those elements. There’s a great rootsy feel, but there’s also this elaborate orchestration.

It all goes together. I had never heard any classical music but then I had a year or two (or six months, or 4 months—I can’t remember) of music appreciation. I kind of liked those kinds of strings but it sounded very complicated. The teacher that I had, well he just took it apart and showed how simple it was. He made it as simple as it can be: “Listen to the orchestration and not the melody.” And I thought, “Oh, it is kind of simple, isn’t it.” So I appreciated that a little bit. I hope there’s a little of that in there, too.

Certainly, “Some Velvet Morning”….

(laughs) In those days there was a lot of that kind of stuff

That’s actually an interesting song. Because I had to learn it, I know how tricky it is. It switches tempos, and time signatures…

When I wrote it, I did it just for pure orneriness of the musicians, more than anything else. I said “You see the ending here, it goes 4/4 into 3/4. Don’t worry about it because I can cut it together. We’ll do all the 4/4, then we’ll do the 3/4.” Well, about half of them stood up very, very insulted They really came down on me heavy—“Who do you think we are?” and they were not happy. They just set up and played right through it. And I go, “Okay, all right smartasses, then we’ll do it your way.” Which I thought might happen. I got a lot of good music by pushing guys and doing stuff like that.

By challenging them?

Yeah, and I think some of them knew it, the ones that had been around me. Some of them really got a little bit insulted—that I would suggest that I’d have to cut together something as simple as that. But I’d say “well, you never know”.

It was nice to know that you had the option.

I knew I could cut it together, but I didn’t think I was gonna have to.

The strings on that song are so high, and ethereal. Is there some sort of special effect on them?

I had string players mostly from the LA Philharmonic. They got to like playing that goose-egg rock and roll, because they’d make so much money. They only thing they hated to do was that high string stuff. Actually, they didn’t mind it. I made them stand up.

Really?

No string player likes to stand up to play ‘cause he thinks he’s playing fiddle if he does that. I’d say ”This is a stand-up part.” They’d be “Oh, Lee, we don’t wanna stand.” “This is a stand-up part. It’s out of sight. It’s for dogs, and me. So guys, stand up and go through this a couple of times.” And a lot of times I’d have them stand up and go through it twice (and record) and not tell ‘em. So I’d have two tracks of them put together. And they’d be just that much different.—just an nth off. And I always thought that little nth made an interesting sound. Somebody thought “you put stuff on that” and I said “No, I just recorded ‘em. I had the guys stand up. No secrets. You can come down and watch me stand ‘em up. They hate me for it.” (laughs)

Did you look at them as a whole bunch of fiddles?

A whole bunch. No, I looked at them as a whole bunch of violins. When they worked for me they’d say “You have us doing everything but standing on our heads.” The cello players particularly. We didn’t have viola players. In fact, they (viola players) came to me almost as a union and said “Why don’t you use us?” I said “Because you muddy up my record. I want real high, and I want bottom, and I don’t want you people in there messin’ it up.” They said “We never get to play anything for you, Lee” and I said “Yeah, well, we’ll find somethin’.” I just didn’t like violas. On one song I had 12 cellos. A dumb song, called “My Baby Cried All Night Long”.

That was probably unheard of at the time.

Oh, it was. But the cello players had so much fun, because it was so dumb and almost bluesy, and they could bend notes and stuff. They’d be really vibed. And we got through it, and they’d look up at me, and I’d say ”Aren’t you glad your mother made you practice?” And they’d tap on their little cellos and have a beer, and I’d say “Good night, go home.” I liked those guys. They were weird guys when we first started using them ‘cause they were right out of the orchestra. All of them had their suits and ties on. And then my crew would be sittin’ around: jeans, cigarette hangin’ out of their mouth, everything else. They got to watchin’ my rhythm sections, and trumpet sections, and all the other bums. It wasn’t three months before they were showin’ up with jean shirts on. After six months they were as cool as anybody. They had their tuxes that they’d wear at the Hollywood Bowl, but that’s not what they wore around us. They were great guys. I enjoyed ‘em very, very much.

Was it difficult for them to adapt to rock & roll? Because rhythms and syncopation are different in classical music.

No, because I had the best of ‘em. They played with the greatest conductors in the world, we just had to count ‘em in: ”1, 2, 3, 4…” But they always had a section leader, and they’d watch him, and he’d watch me. I’d say “Lay back a little bit.” They were used to conductors telling them exactly what to play: “A dotted quarter is played da de da.” I would tell ‘em, “Yeah, it may be, but in this instance, let’s just don’t get into it as fast”. I don’t think any of them were over  5’6’ and they were just great. Just unbelievable guys. They’d take turns being concertmaster, because concertmaster got paid double. So I would be “today it’s you, tomorrow it’s you, and so on.” It was the same guys used by Jimmy Poole and Snuff Garret.

The Wrecking Crew?

I didn’t call ‘em the Wrecking Crew, that wasn’t my name. I brought Al Casey with me from Phoenix. I used a rhythm guitarist that nobody else used, a guy named Donnie Owens. Hal Blaine worked for me before he worked for anybody. He was working for Patti Page, then he worked for me, then of course we all spread the word about Hal and all the rest of the guys. Over here they were called the Wrecking Team, but when they worked for Sinatra they were called the B Team. I just called them my rhythm section ‘cause I started a lot of them. Not started, but I got a lot of them a lot of work. And sometimes I couldn’t get ‘em, and that really broke my heart. A year earlier you could call Hal and get him anytime. But there were 4 or 5 producers wanting the same few musicians. But it takes care of itself, ‘cause you’d get some new guys in. And they were good too. They wouldn’t dare show up if they weren’t good.

I want to talk about Duane Eddy, Phil Spector and some of your early recording experiences.

Phil worked for us for awhile. Phil had just started to make records and he came over to Phoenix a few times. I liked Phil. He was more Lester Sills’ protégé than mine. Although Phil asked a lot of questions, and I answered as many as I could.

Do you feel that you were an influence on him?

No, Phil had his own genius. He didn’t need anybody’s influence. He knew what he wanted, went after it, and did one hell of a job.

And what about the famous “grain tank” reverb sound?

Oh that story’s been told about a million times. That was me and Al Casey. Lloyd Ramsey, who owned the studio, likes to take credit for it, but he wasn’t even around. But that’s alright. I had to have an echo. We just went out driving around, ‘cause there’s a lot of places around Phoenix with small grain elevators. So we just went out and yelled in ‘em all day. I yelled, and yelled, and yelled ‘til I found one. So I told the guy, “I’ll take this one.” I said “How much?” And he said “$200.” And I said “$200. Delivered.” He delivered it and there was no room for it in our little studio. So we set it up outside the studio, and put a little microphone at one end and a little speaker at the other. It worked very nice. Gave Duane a lot of hits. It wasn’t all that. But it started up that boomy kind of thing. The only problem that we ever had with it is that birds would sit and chirp on it. It wasn’t a problem on the heavy stuff, but on the ballads, the quiet things, the birds would like to sing along. So we had to have someone out there to shoo the birds away.

How did you get started with Duane Eddy?

I met Duane down in Coolidge, Arizona. He used to come down to the radio station and pick up the country records because we didn’t play much country. He played pretty good Chet Atkins style in those days. Then we used him on some sessions in Phoenix when I moved there. We had tried this kind of thing (that Duane plays) with a couple of other people but it didn’t sound right. When Duane played, it sounded right—that was it! The others sounded like they were doing it for me. Duane sounded like he was doing it for himself. It felt pretty good…a couple million records later! (laughs)

Those records inspired a lot of guitar players.

The thing I like about them, and the thing Duane likes about them, is to read so many times—God, so many times: “I wouldn’t have played guitar if it wasn’t for Duane Eddy.”

I guess putting the guitar in front like that wasn’t so common in those days.

It wasn’t common in rock. You have to remember, there wasn’t anybody doing anything. So it didn’t matter.

It was all new.

You stumbled on to something. This wasn’t stumbled, this was planned. When I was in high school I used to like Eddy Duchin. The one-fingered low piano, on “The Very Thought Of You”, and I thought it would be very nice on guitar and it was. I don’t know why somebody (else) didn’t think of it. That was my contribution. And Duane’s contribution is that he took it and really made something out of it.

He certainly has a unique sound.

His playing is so heavy, it could make you think the Russians are in Brooklyn. I love it!

Was that the first chart success that you had?

The first one was Sanford Clarke, in 1956, “The Fool”.

What prompted the move to LA?

Dot records. They offered me a job that I didn’t want to take, except the money kept going up. After 3 months I knew it was a bad move. But it was a good move in the long run, because I met other people, and I quit Dot way before my year was over. But Andy Wood was very nice. He kept paying me (he thought I was crazy). My deal was such that I could do outside stuff as long as I presented it to him first. So I presented him Duane Eddy, and he turned it down. I did it on the outside. He wouldn’t let me out of my contract. It was all right to do it. He didn’t say I was free (from my contract) or anything. He kept sending me my check every week even though I wasn’t showing up at the office. He did that for a long time, and then finally he quit. (laughs)

How did you hook up with Nancy Sinatra?

Jimmy Bowen. They were kind of going together then. Jimmy lived next door to me—I found his house for him, next door to me in Taluca Lake, North Hollywood. He asked if I was interested in producing Nancy. I said “I’m not interested in producing any second generation artists.” I had spent a year producing Dino, Desi, and Billy. I made a lot of money with it, but I had the option to drop it, and I really did. I told him, “I don’t want to do that anymore. “ He said, “Well, just meet her.” So I did, and I agreed to do one (record). She’s just so personable. The Sinatras have this weird way about ‘em.

Really?

Everbody knows I drink Chivas. When I walked in their house to meet with Nancy (she was living with her mom then), all along the walls, cleverly displayed, were all these bottles of Chivas lined up. And a bunch of my friends were there. It was Bobby Darin, a bunch more, and I’m thinkin’ “Wait a minute, What is this? I haven’t seen these people in months.”

So they threw a little party for you!

In a way. We were getting along alright, ‘cause Nancy and I, we never had any problems. Halfway through the evening her dad comes through the door and meets me. They go in the kitchen and they’re talking. He comes out, shakes my hand and says “I’m glad you kids are going to be working together” and then walks out the door. I had only said that I’d come over and meet her!

I guess once Frank says that…

Well, I gave ’em one shot. We did alright together.

“These Boots Are Made For Walkin’” certainly defines the swingin’ 60s era…

It’s been good. It’s been kind.

How did that song evolve? The bass line is such a hook in that song.

It’s all mine. I used to sing it. All the time. It’s all I used to sing. It was written as a party song, with only two verses.

And there was some controversy about the lyrics?

The controversy was “mess.” “Mess” down here where I live, in those days was “fuck.” If somebody said “What’d you do last night?” “I was out messin’.” I thought it was that way all over the world. But it wasn’t that way in Chicago, New York, or LA.

So it didn’t get a warning sticker from the PMRC?

Well….

I’d like to talk about Suzi Jane Hokum. You guys worked together a lot.

Oh yeah. We had a lot of fun. I used her to do Nancy’s demos, which she hated. She said, “I really hate to do the demos for her, cause she does them exactly like me, dammit!”

Also, she produced the International Submarine Band…

She did, for my little label. She said, “I wanna do these.” I said, “Do ‘em.” I had nothing to do with it. They always associate that with me, but I’ve told everybody over the years that she did it.

When the Byrds recorded “Sweethearts of the Rodeo” and Gram Parsons was still under contract to you…

We had some problems there, but we straightened them out. He had to pay back all his royalties and everything. But he had to pay back through earnings, and I knew he never would.

There must have been something special about him, when you signed him to your label..

No. I signed him because of Suzi Jane. I’m not as clever as people think sometimes. She’s clever. She heard something that I didn’t. I heard a little of it. It was fine with me. I promised her that she could do it.

You recorded a lot of music. Were you completely busy all the time?

Quite a bit ‘til I stopped. When your children start calling you “Uncle Daddy” it’s time to stop. I seldom get asked to do anything now, which is really great. Even up until the 90s, people would ask, “Would you be interested in doing this group?,” and if there’s anything I hate now, it’s the studio. Too many hours. People forget.

Certainly a lot of time went into making your records. People don’t make records that way any more.

They don’t take the time.

A room filled with musicians, playing together live…

Handmade records…

Sometimes Al (Casey) and I go in and do a few things now and then, but I even dislike the time it takes to do that.

You don’t have the patience?

Not the patience…

You’re just enjoying life now…

Yeah, but it’s fun. I enjoy it for the time that I do it.

Your new songs sound great!

All 3 of them. And you got one of ‘em!

(A new Lee Hazlewood song, “For My Birthday (A Pear of Apple or Blue Jaguar)” appears on the upcoming Loser’s Lounge CD)

Yes, and everybody’s very excited about it!

(laughs) I’ll bet!

Another favorite record of mine is the 1929 Crash Band

Oh, that’s fun. That’s another thing I did for me. I wanted to do some ricky-tick things.

Those are great versions of those songs.

And great guys on there playing.

Who played on it?

I don’t remember all of ‘em. It’s Hal Blaine, Don Randi. All those guys.

You had a long relationship with Billy Strange.

He’s so tall. I screamed at his belt buckle a lot. Bill and I got along great

Those arrangements are great.

I’d sing parts to him a lot. That bugged him a lot. I’d sing parts, sing string lines, sing this, sing that. Not all of the time, but a lot of the time. He used to write these arrangements that were so cool, and I’d tear ‘em all apart and break his heart. It bothered Bill a lot. But, we got along fine. I’ll tell you where he was great: out on the road. Havin’ Billy out there was great.

You didn’t play live that much.

We did Vegas, Tahoe, and stuff like that. In ’95 she (Nancy) did about 10 or 12 dates. Billy wasn’t on that tour, though. We had Don Randi.

I saw the Limelight show. It was exciting!

Limelight’s a weird place. Kind of weird for an old cowboy.

It was packed to the gills. Everybody was there.

Oh, it was fun. My part’s easy. I’d just come in, stumble through a couple of songs, and go home. That’s what I liked about that.

When you guys did “Summer Wine” there was such an air of anticipation, because you don’t come in ‘til the second verse. I thought that was clever staging.

That’s all Nancy. She’s really good at stuff like that.

I guess she has showbiz in her blood.

Exactly, (imitates snare hits) “Ta-da, ta-da.” Of course, she was a little anxious too, that I’d show up and everything.

You made a lot of records. Is there anything you expected to be a big hit that wasn’t?

Every one of ‘em (laughs). No, I didn’t. Most of the ones that I wanted to sell, sold something. Some of them have sold over the years that are surprising. For a guy that’s written around 200 songs, I guess the average is pretty good.

When did it start to occur to you that there’s a resurgence of interest in your music.

I didn’t know there was. People would tell me about it in the beginning of the 90s. A few things, like the tour in 95: People paying money to see a couple of old son of a bitches get up and stumble through some songs—it’s remarkable!

There was excitement about that tour, because you hadn’t been heard from in a long time. I guess you’re regarded as a mystery.

Well, I am. Let’s keep it that way!

Plus, neither Nancy or you fell into the trap of the “oldies” circuit.

We never worked enough. I never did, with Nancy, except for a few of the big things. Most of the work I did (playing live) was in Europe. I knew exactly what I could do in Europe. It’s so much easier.

Even still, many American artists are much more appreciated over there.

Well, if I’m considered an “artist.” I’m gonna work over there this summer. 4 or 5 cities. They’re adding a few more.

I’m a fan of piano bars, and you had a good piano bar story last time we met.

That was out on the strip. (Excitedly) Oh, that was great! ‘Cause everybody had their song, and you daren’t (to use an old word)—you dare not—sing their song. Of course you could walk in and think, “I’ll do (whatever) song.” And then there’s these 15 people at the bar. So there’d be 30 eyes of hate. And you’d go, “What did I do? What did I do?” They’d say, “You know, that’s Harold’s song. He’s not here tonight. He’s got a cold.” “Harold who? Harold Arlen, the songwriter?” “No. Harold sings that song!” And these people, they owned the bar. They didn’t really own the bar, but they owned the bar as far as they were concerned. My friend told me, “You gotta see this!” And I said, “I don’t like piano bars” He says, “You’re gonna love this one. You’ve never seen people own songs!” Al (Casey) and I would sit there and watch these people. Of course, they all sang, and when they sang, all the other 14 applauded.

And it was set up so anyone could wander in off the strip and sing. They had lyrics there in front of you and everything. So if you got up to sing, you’d get hate looks throughout the whole song and then afterwards (unless you had your people in a table close by), you wouldn’t hear any applause. You wouldn’t even hear nice, kind, “courage” applause (that you had the courage to get up there). Not even two hands clapping together! Just these people staring at you like this: “That’s Harold’s song.”

Did you ever get up and sing?

No, no. They were singing my songs, but it was so much fun to watch. They were all about the age of 65 on up. It was their roost. And they roosted. They would roast you at their roost! I took a lot of people there. They’d say, “How did you find this place?” I mean these guys were like the Attila the Hun group. Really! And you’d break up. I don’t know if other people came for that reason. But whoever told me about it (I can’t remember) said, “Sit close to the piano, but not at the piano bar—that would ruin it (because you might take Harold’s seat). And just listen.” By the way, it wasn’t (whispers) “He’s singing Harold’s song!” in a stage whisper. It was (loudly) “THAT”S HAROLD’S SONG!”

Sounds like it’d be great movie.

Oh, it is. It was so funny! So much fun. At least a short film: The Piano Bar. At most piano bars, they want you get up and sing. And I don’t like ‘em (piano bars), but I went to this one. Friends would say “What are you doing going there?” I’d say, “You’ve got to go with me.” They’d say, “I’ll go with you, because I can’t imagine you sitting through this stuff. Bad singers, songs you don’t like.” But this I liked!

Was there a wide range of singers, some good some bad?

They were all my (present) age or older. They know only 2 or 3 songs each. 15 people sitting around the piano bar, that’s 45 songs. And the songbook had about 50 lyrics in it. The only song left that they didn’t bother with was the lyrics from “Rocky” (laughter). That’s probably the only kind of song that would be left for you to sing. All the other songs: “That’s Harold’s song!”

MORE NOTES FROM HANGING OUT WITH LEE:

“These Boots Are Made For Walking”:

“I was at a redneck bar waiting for my friend. My friend was running late, so I was there by myself. There were these tough guys teasing one of them about his young bride. They were making fun of him and he was getting pissed off. Finally, when he had enough, he told them, “See these boots? They’re made for walking. And they’re gonna walk all over you”. Then he stormed out. I made a note to myself. Thank god my friend was late!”

Shel Silverstein:

“I used to see Shel Silverstein at the Playboy Club. He told me he wanted to start writing songs. I told him all you need is four chords in two keys, so I showed him.”

“Houston”

“I never would bring booze to the recording sessions. Jimmy Bowen was Dean Martin’s producer. They were recording “Houston” and he invited me down, since it was my song. Since it was Dean, I brought a bottle of scotch. As the session wore on, there was less and less scotch in the bottle. They were having trouble finding the right percussion for the intro. Trying cowbell, tambourine, and so forth. Finally, they run the song and the intro is perfect. And it’s Hal playing the empty scotch bottle.”

“Something Stupid”

“I was trying to get away for the weekend with Mark (my son). He was getting into trouble at school and I thought it would be good to have a father-son weekend out in Malibu. They wanted me to produce “Something Stupid”, but I told Jimmy that he should do it, since he was Frank’s producer. He kept insisting that we do it together. I kept trying to get out of it, making excuses, ‘I’m in Malibu with my son’ and so forth. Next thing you know, a helicopter shows up, sent by Frank. That’s how I ended up as co-producer.”

Glen Campbell:

“Glen used to sing on my demos. Until he wouldn’t. I called him up once, and he said ‘have you seen the charts? I’m done singing on demos!”

“Because They’re Young”

“I really wanted the theme. I fought and fought for it, raised a temper tantrum. The producers had this song they kept trying to push on me. I kept insisting on my song. Finally, I listened to their song and took my demo and threw it across the room. That was it. When we went to record it, the other guitarists on the date were Howard Roberts and Barney Kessel, which made Duane nervous as shit because they were his heroes.”

[cathrynstreich]

Meet the Real Estate Tech Founder: Garret Flower from ParkOffice

In our latest real estate tech entrepreneur interview, we’re speaking with Garret Flower from ParkOffice.

Who are you and what do you do?

My name is Garret Flower, I’m the co-founder and CEO of ParkOffice – the parking software for smart offices. I’ve been an entrepreneur for almost as long as I can remember. I started my first business at 15 and have progressively been getting more and more ambitious ever since.

Currently I split my time between New York City and Dublin where I’m managing the rapid growth of ParkOffice in both Europe and the US. We started out a couple of years ago with ParkOffice with a very simple concept – employee parking was broken and we wanted to fix it.

Our progress in such a short space of time has been really energising, we’ve developed an industry leading product which is trusted by 6 Fortune 500s and countless SMEs in 13 countries across the globe.

What problem does your product/service solve?

Office parking is dysfunctional on so many levels.

The end experience is often incredibly frustrating as employees arrive at offices to find parking lots unexpectedly full or worse, they pay for parking off-site and walk to the office through a half-empty car park.

The management experience isn’t much better, facilities managers often complain that managing parking is the most time intensive part of their job and that no matter how hard you try you will still be inundated with complaints from disgruntled employees.

From a community perspective, according to research from UCLA, every time someone sits into a car and doesn’t know if they have a space at work or not, they will spend an extra 800m cruising at their destination looking for somewhere to park. This causes massive traffic issues in neighbourhoods close to large offices.

ParkOffice gives a fully automated solution which allows companies to solve all these problems while also reducing costs and carbon emissions in the process.

What are you most excited about right now?

When you look at the figures there is almost as much space in the USA dedicated to office parking as there is to office buildings. However, in most cases, it is a massively under-utilized piece of real estate.

The average company who believes they don’t have enough parking space actually have up to 40% of their parking spaces empty during the working day. This is often caused by people working from home, being off-site at meetings or being on holidays. What a waste of space and money.

In a world where our cities are running out of space, I’m incredibly excited about how technology can be used to park cars more effectively, freeing up whole swathes of space for cities across the world to grow.

We’ve just adapted our product to tackle the issues surrounding COVID-19. Over recent years our key focus has been on supporting companies to reduce their employees car dependency.

With COVID-19 changing the business environment for companies all over the world, we knew we had to innovate to thrive. By altering our product slightly we can now help companies return to the office safely sooner. With public transport a no-go area for many people who are worried about the virus, employee parking is going to be under greater pressure than ever. Our automated solution can monitor parking availability in real-time and assign spaces to those in most need – think of it like hot-desking but for parking spaces. The beauty is that we can increase parking availability by up to 40% for companies.

What’s next for you?

The USA is a massive focus for us – we’ve been lucky to pick up a few big clients over there but we’re opening up a full-time office over there in the next 6 months to accelerate our growth.

What’s a cause you’re passionate about and why?

Racism really angers me. I feel strongly that all people were created equal, and this world is unfortunately structured in a way which disadvantages swathes of people because of their gender and race. As half-American, half-Irish, I’m acutely aware of the disadvantages many of my ancestors had to overcome to lay the foundations for me to thrive. I’m always looking for ways in which I can pave a path for minorities to lay the way for their communities to flourish. It is my job as a CEO and a leader of ParkOffice to encourage an environment of inclusion to learn how to implement policies that will correct this inequality.

Thanks to Garret for sharing his story. If you’d like to connect, find him on LinkedIn here.

We’re constantly looking for great real estate tech entrepreneurs to feature. If that’s you, please read this post — then drop me a line (drew @ geekestatelabs dot com).

The post Meet the Real Estate Tech Founder: Garret Flower from ParkOffice appeared first on GeekEstate Blog.

Meet the Real Estate Tech Founder: Garret Flower from ParkOffice published first on https://thegardenresidences.tumblr.com/

[clarencevancleave]

Meet the Real Estate Tech Founder: Garret Flower from ParkOffice

In our latest real estate tech entrepreneur interview, we’re speaking with Garret Flower from ParkOffice.

Who are you and what do you do?

My name is Garret Flower, I’m the co-founder and CEO of ParkOffice – the parking software for smart offices. I’ve been an entrepreneur for almost as long as I can remember. I started my first business at 15 and have progressively been getting more and more ambitious ever since.

Currently I split my time between New York City and Dublin where I’m managing the rapid growth of ParkOffice in both Europe and the US. We started out a couple of years ago with ParkOffice with a very simple concept – employee parking was broken and we wanted to fix it.

Our progress in such a short space of time has been really energising, we’ve developed an industry leading product which is trusted by 6 Fortune 500s and countless SMEs in 13 countries across the globe.

What problem does your product/service solve?

Office parking is dysfunctional on so many levels.

The end experience is often incredibly frustrating as employees arrive at offices to find parking lots unexpectedly full or worse, they pay for parking off-site and walk to the office through a half-empty car park.

The management experience isn’t much better, facilities managers often complain that managing parking is the most time intensive part of their job and that no matter how hard you try you will still be inundated with complaints from disgruntled employees.

From a community perspective, according to research from UCLA, every time someone sits into a car and doesn’t know if they have a space at work or not, they will spend an extra 800m cruising at their destination looking for somewhere to park. This causes massive traffic issues in neighbourhoods close to large offices.

ParkOffice gives a fully automated solution which allows companies to solve all these problems while also reducing costs and carbon emissions in the process.

What are you most excited about right now?

When you look at the figures there is almost as much space in the USA dedicated to office parking as there is to office buildings. However, in most cases, it is a massively under-utilized piece of real estate.

The average company who believes they don’t have enough parking space actually have up to 40% of their parking spaces empty during the working day. This is often caused by people working from home, being off-site at meetings or being on holidays. What a waste of space and money.

In a world where our cities are running out of space, I’m incredibly excited about how technology can be used to park cars more effectively, freeing up whole swathes of space for cities across the world to grow.

We’ve just adapted our product to tackle the issues surrounding COVID-19. Over recent years our key focus has been on supporting companies to reduce their employees car dependency.

With COVID-19 changing the business environment for companies all over the world, we knew we had to innovate to thrive. By altering our product slightly we can now help companies return to the office safely sooner. With public transport a no-go area for many people who are worried about the virus, employee parking is going to be under greater pressure than ever. Our automated solution can monitor parking availability in real-time and assign spaces to those in most need – think of it like hot-desking but for parking spaces. The beauty is that we can increase parking availability by up to 40% for companies.

What’s next for you?

The USA is a massive focus for us – we’ve been lucky to pick up a few big clients over there but we’re opening up a full-time office over there in the next 6 months to accelerate our growth.

What’s a cause you’re passionate about and why?

Racism really angers me. I feel strongly that all people were created equal, and this world is unfortunately structured in a way which disadvantages swathes of people because of their gender and race. As half-American, half-Irish, I’m acutely aware of the disadvantages many of my ancestors had to overcome to lay the foundations for me to thrive. I’m always looking for ways in which I can pave a path for minorities to lay the way for their communities to flourish. It is my job as a CEO and a leader of ParkOffice to encourage an environment of inclusion to learn how to implement policies that will correct this inequality.

Thanks to Garret for sharing his story. If you’d like to connect, find him on LinkedIn here.

We’re constantly looking for great real estate tech entrepreneurs to feature. If that’s you, please read this post — then drop me a line (drew @ geekestatelabs dot com).

The post Meet the Real Estate Tech Founder: Garret Flower from ParkOffice appeared first on GeekEstate Blog.

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[fathersonholygore]

AMC’s Fear the Walking Dead Season 4, Episode 13: “Blackjack” Directed by Sharat Raju Written by Ian Goldberg & Richard Naing

* For a recap & review of the previous episode, “Weak” – click here * For a recap & review of the next episode, “MM 54” – click here Along the road, June (Jenna Elfman), Morgan (Lennie James), and the others go looking for her buddy Quinn (Charles Harrelson). Al’s (Maggie Grace) mostly concerned for her SWAT vehicle. Everybody stops around mile marker 21 to have a peek. Sarah (Mo Collins) and Wendell (Daryl Mitchell) are still busy concerning themselves with the beer man, Jim (Aaron Stanford), and doing their best to “stir the beef” a.k.a kill zombies. Then they discover the writing on the walker’s face, a sign of the filthy woman (Tonya Pinkins), though they don’t know this yet— only that some “sicko shitto” is out there. Over the radio, they get the sounds of zombie Quinn. The woman responds to them, confirming she’s killed Quinn. Her voice is recognised by Morgan, who heard her once across the airwaves. He also met her on the roadside. The woman tells him not to leave boxes by the road anymore because they make others “weak.” She says she knows lots about him. What’s happened to this woman? What’s her story? Father Gore can’t wait to discover more about her, one way or another.

“I let him become what he was meant to be”

John (Garret Dillahunt) and Strand (Colman Domingo) are still together, after the storm’s destruction. The former’s building a raft while the latter has been reading a little Herman Melville. John is planning to go by raft, but Victor’s not interested, despite the fact the water’s risen and they’ve got no real way out. Mr. Dorie does his best to convince him, though it doesn’t do much. Strand has no faith left. The raft doesn’t float, plus there’s a “reptilian friend” swimming around out there. At a public library, Luciana (Danay Garcia) goes searching for young Charlie, finding nobody except walkers. Until stumbling onto a badly injured, bleeding man named Clayton (Stephen Henderson) stuck in his car outside. She refuses to believe she can’t help as he tells her it’s a lost cause. She wants to find redemption, but he might be on his way out no matter what she does. All she can do? Try finding him “one last beer.” After the creepy lady mentions things about Morgan the other new people in the group begin getting curious about him. This starts some paranoia and a bit of tension. That is, until Morgan makes clear he can just move on without them, considering Al’s a proper hand behind the wheel of a big truck. This keeps them at an advantage. At mile marker 74, the truck crew stop with another box. Sarah and Wendell talk about how this is where they stole the truck from the man who’d been delivering the boxes originally. No telling if the guy is alive, or if he ended up as one of the crazy lady’s pet walkers.

While attempting to get a truck down from a nearby cliff, Victor risks his life for a bottle of booze, reaching inside the cab where a zombie sits strapped in with a seat belt. Luckily he makes it out alive after the truck goes tumbling into the lake. John chastises him for acting stupid simply to “tie one on.” Strand doesn’t see it that way, though, in all fairness, he’s an alcoholic. He heads off to get hammered, leaving Mr. Dorie to do some work on his own to try making himself a better raft. Afterwards, he convinces his friend to have faith in a way forward, a future. Luciana can’t find a beer, feeling like a failure. This prompts Clayton to tell her a story over the walkie, about “when the world changed.” Before, he wanted to be alone, so he went away from everyone. Then post-apocalypse life came around, and he wasn’t able to help those he loved because he’d run off. He urges Luciana not to give up— just because you can’t save one person doesn’t mean you can’t save anybody. Not long later she comes to the box the others left, along with one of Jim’s beers inside. This allows her a tiny slice of redemption for not being able to help Nick while he was dying. She even used an ice pack to keep the bottle cold for Clayton. In return, he offers notebooks with locations to places he “left supplies.” This is the man who drove the truck, leaving the boxes. Season 4’s had so much compelling storyline and this has been one of my favourite portions. John hooks up the truck battery to get the horn blaring. This draws walkers, in turn hopefully distracting the big, nasty gator lurking in the water. The gator begins chomping on zombies. But the battery dies and our pair are only a small way across. The walkers head away from the shore. Then the gator goes for the raft. John loses his paddle and takes a few shots. Only a moment later the gator puts a hole in their raft. They’re forced to swim back.

Luciana manages to link up with Morgan and the others again. She brings the notebooks to Morgan, showing them the various maps and other things inside. They’re all on the road again when they hear from Charlie and Alicia (Alycia Debnam-Carey) at mile marker 84, by another box. They’re interrupted by the madwoman. Morgan talks to her and refutes her believing them weak: “It makes all of stronger.” He tells her he knows how she feels, being alone out there. She’s been through something horrible, no doubt. It’s not likely she’s going to accept the help Morgan offers. Not to mention, the woman’s not far behind, coming up on them fast with the SWAT truck. Shit. This could get very ugly very quick. The woman knows Morgan, incredibly well. She tells him: “You lose people, you lose yourself.” Whoa, that’s eerie. And now she’s using those guns on Al’s truck. Who’ll survive this one? What a goddamn episode! Fear the Walking Dead has overtaken the original series, by far. At least for Father Gore, anyway. Love Morgan and all the other characters, especially all the awesome women on this series like Alicia, Al, Luciana, and now June. Should be compelling to see more of the mysterious woman. “MM 54” is next time.

Fear the Walking Dead – Season 4, Episode 13: “Blackjack” AMC's Fear the Walking Dead Season 4, Episode 13: "Blackjack" Directed by Sharat Raju…

[junker-town]

THIS WEEK IN SCHADENFREUDE, Alabama’s Iron Bowl loss reveals that the Playoff itself is just a conspiracy to stop the Tide

Your weekly sojourn through the most upset in college football internet runs through Tuscaloosa.

(It should be noted that the weekend’s actual most upset fans were at Tennessee, but this post is about games only.)

Alabama got dominated in the Iron Bowl, falling from No. 1 in the rankings, losing the SEC West to Auburn, and putting its College Football Playoff fate in jeopardy. It was the Tide’s first loss of the season and 20th in more than a decade of Nick Saban.

Let’s tour Bama Fan Internet and see how it responded.

The most ironclad conspiracy theories

Is the very existence of the Playoff part of a plot to ruin Alabama’s title hopes?

This thread at the Tide’s 247Sports message board answers the hard questions.

We need to Remember why the playoff was created.

It was created to stop Alabama. (Sec post 2011) The rest of the teams wanted Alabama to have to win two big games to win the championship. They also didn't want hot teams at the end of the season to miss a chance to neutralize Alabama with the awesome play late. It has worked two of the first three years of the playoff. It will not work this year if they let Alabama in. We will win both games. Mark it down.

It may well go even deeper than that. College football’s powers have been trying to stem the Tide ever since the Associated Press awarded them the national title before they lost the 1964 season’s Orange Bowl to Texas.

Is something deeper at play preventing Damien Harris from getting more carries?

One poster’s freshman daughter is friends with the Tide’s starting running back’s girlfriend, allegedly. And it seems like we’re headed for a break in the case.

im getting to the bottom of it hopefully

My daughter is a freshman at bama, she's become good friends with Damien Harris's gf, she sees him a couple of times a week at the sorority house and talks to him while he's there. Shes gonna ask him why he's been getting so few carries lately. Maybe he'll give an honest answer cause it makes no sense why he wasn't fed the ball against auburn and several other times throughout the year... stay tuned

Stay tuned.

Is Ohio State going to lose the Big Ten championship game on purpose to guarantee Wisconsin a Playoff spot in the name of conference solidarity, potentially changing Bama’s outlook for the No. 4 seed?

How important is it to the Big 10

To get a team into the playoffs? Would Ohio St. throw the game against Wisconsin to guarantee that spot in the playoffs? A lot of people still believe that Wisconsin laid down and allowed Ohio St. to steam roll them to get Ohio St. in. I know it sounds like quite the conspiracy, but...

I mean, who’s to say they’re not.

The most obvious suggestions to get better

Phase 1: Fire first-year offensive coordinator Brian Daboll, a five-time Super Bowl champion with the Patriots who leads the nation’s No. 12 scoring offense.

Brian Dabol needs to be fired .

This offense has gotten worse under him.

Phase 2:

Mac from Florida needs a job, bring him back!

Saban’s old offensive coordinator from Florida needs a job, bring him back....

The real problem is Alabama’s recruiting, which might drop off from No. 1 in the country this year to somewhere lower in the top 10.

With our recruiting lagging,

things don't look so well right now. I do believe that they need to re-evaluate this whole deal.

rtr

(The actual reason for Bama’s slower 2018 class is scholarship limits, fwiw.)

Actually, maybe the problem’s the QB, who was one play from a national championship as a true freshman the year prior before being outdueled by the NFL’s best rookie quarterback.

Bama will NEVER win a national championship with Jalen Hurts

Saban should have given Tua a shot in the 4th quarter to spark the offense. Another lost season for Bama. Disappointing.

Here’s a totally unrelated photograph I found:

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

The most comprehensive piece of advice

@AlabamaFTBL you have one game to win in any season and this was a massive loss. Guess @CoachDaboll needs replaced. @JalenHurts needs to sit. We need a QB, not a runningback. @NickSabanUofA may be out of magic. Seems we might need to make some changes.

— I R Foof (@I_R_Foof) November 26, 2017

The most passionate tweets sent to Bama’s offensive coordinator during the game, in case he’d been checking Twitter.

@CoachDaboll you’re gonna get fired

— josh c (@josh_c1995) November 25, 2017

@CoachDaboll Fuck You!

— Garret Cook (@gibbousquan98) November 25, 2017

@CoachDaboll why?why why why do you have a running back as big Scarborough and you run him sideways?!? Shit! How many damn years of watching this same shit do bama fans have to endure?

— Nicholas Daniel (@nicdaniel4UA) November 25, 2017

@CoachDaboll you suck

— josh c (@josh_c1995) November 25, 2017

@CoachDaboll DIAL IT UP

— Pats(7-2) (@KFCGodfather) November 25, 2017

Later, an addendum:

@CoachDaboll PLEASE DIAL IT UP

— Pats(7-2) (@KFCGodfather) November 25, 2017

DIAL IT UP.

Damn @CoachDaboll what about some damn slants

— Ken Morris (@bikecop24) November 25, 2017

Get. Your. Head. Out. Of. Your. Ass. @CoachDaboll

— Colby Murray (@Colbylm) November 25, 2017

Calls for Bama to just run the damn ball:

Endless.

The Tide’s last national championship offensive coordinator weighed in by just happening to cite his own team’s rushing stats.

Hmmm. Who isn't on here??? Come to #thefaU http://pic.twitter.com/SmVcNF9bRN

— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) November 26, 2017

If u want to win rivalry games. Run the BALL!!! Come to #thefaU #5forheisman https://t.co/MMpPr3S9ip

— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) November 27, 2017

Is there now a surely ironic Twitter account dedicated to sharing all calls for Saban to be fired?

There is:

Breaking news Nick Saban arrested by Alabama State Police for first degree murder of the Tide football program. http://pic.twitter.com/MBxFBztPAJ

— Fire Nick Saban (@FireSaban) November 26, 2017

And other postgame analysis

A bit earlier, from the game thread at SB Nation’s Roll Bama Roll, some comments:

Welp thats game

Fuck this team. Coach im counting on you to give this sack of shit of a coaching staff all hell tonight tomorrow fuck it give it to them until next year. This is fucking embarrasing and if anyine doesnt feel that way and is wearing crimson and white on that bench send them packing. I dont care if its a five star freshman or a coach. Send a gad dam message.

And this nice exchange between friends:

One of the cool things about any time Bama loses a game is that legions of Tide fans record YouTube instant reaction videos. And, hoo boy, have we some treats.

This guy claims he punched out his wall.

“The Eagles come in and ruin my perfect season,” our man says. “Now I was all happy and everything because Bama was winning. Now Bama is not winning. They got an L, a loss. And now, now it’s gonna change things. Are they gonna make the national champions? Are they gonna get into the SECs? I just don’t know.”

Expect an invoice for the damages to arrive in Tuscaloosa soon.

“When I gotta pay to get the new wall done, I’m gonna send the bill to Alabama.”

Here’s another Bama fan eating “one of the hardest damn crows I’ve ever had to eat”

The points made here are pretty regular and reasonable, but stop by for the excellent glasses:

In the end, Alabama was the real winner here, because the Tide experienced no joy whatsoever.

From the 247 board, in response to Auburn fans having fun after winning the SEC West:

The last time Alabama fans rushed the field? Probably the early 1990's at Legion field (Might have been the 1990 win over the booger-eaters), and it was NOT a mass event, but only about 20-30 drunk students, many of whom felt the sting of Birmingham's finest who were on the field waiting for them. Lots and lots of upset Mommies and Daddies after their drunk darlings got bllly-clubbed and/or arrested!! LOL!!!

It probably HAS happened at some point in Alabama history, but I cannot recall an "en masse" rushing of the field by Alabama fans at any time in my life.

There's a reason the SEC (and EVERY OTHER MAJOR CONFERENCE) bans it - and not just because its Classless and "Bush League" - but because its Very DANGEROUS, both for the trashy fans running out on the field, as well as for the players and staff of the losing team. People are invariably injured in these "mob scenes" - often seriously, but you don't hear about it because the schools ALWAYS keep it on the "down low"

Now, a quick whip around some other fan bases whose teams lost.

Michigan

Lost to Ohio State for the sixth time in a row.

A basic summary of how that went:

Comments are off at MGoBlog. They'll be back when I feel like it.

— mgoblog (@mgoblog) November 26, 2017

Notre Dame

Lost 38-20 at Stanford, the result of a swift, epic collapse.

Would Bob Stoops come out of retirement, less than a year after leaving a good job at Oklahoma, to take over the Irish? The evidence that he would is mounting, folks.

I sort of wondered because he bought 2 expensive houses next door to each other in Chicago recently.

Why would you buy houses there? I sort of wondered if he took this year off to watch his boys play HS football as seniors. I wondered if maybe he was waiting in the wings to take the ND job, and maybe already had contact with ND for when Kelly was let go.. I have mixed emotions. He wins a lot. He loses the really big game most of the time (NC). He had tons of criminal type players at ou, I am not sure if it could work out or not. He is Catholic. I also wonder if he is ok healthwise. It is interesting to think about.

Food for thought, indeed.

Mississippi State

Lost the Egg Bowl to Ole Miss, then had its former AD who now works for Florida hire away maybe the best coach in program history.

Scott Stricklin The Traitor

Scott Stricklin is now the biggest traitor to our university of all time.

Some folks are our enemies and big pieces of shit like Ole Miss folks. These people actively try to hurt us and they hate us. However, all of these folks we knew hated us and we never expected them to like us.

However, to have one of your own intentionally hurt your program this bad for his own personal gain, you are far worse than any of the others.

From your enemy you can protect yourself. You can fight them, you know who they are and you can build your defenses.A traitor is someone you have trusted like a brother, and you know he is a traitor only after being betrayed.... The enemy is in the open, the traitor is moving in the dark.

Stricklin should never be allowed to step foot on campus as a friend again. Hugh Freeze is now more respected by me than Stricklin is. Hippocrates suck but there is no one worse than a traitor.

It’s not clear what this person thought Stricklin’s job would be once he left Mississippi State. But I’m sure the ancient Greek physician Hippocrates would disapprove.

South Carolina

Lost 34-10 to Clemson. This post is about Clemson, I’m pretty sure:

Tater Tots have The Answer!

Recruit with attorneys! Turnupseed from ALA? Daba Dabe do knew what he was doing I think is the answer. Bringing the e-factor's dad (whom was in jail in Florence to a Jail in Greenville) just as he is visiting taterville and BOOM he is a tater with a Caddy and a bag full of money. By the way, Turnipseed came from Ala about 4 years ago