#<- consistently uses stuff far past when I should to the point that it significantly inconveniences me just bc I don’t like change

[llumimoon]

Starting to think it is Not Normal for my phone to glitch out periodically for no particular reason to the point that it becomes unusable for a period of time

[shihalyfie]

Ichijouji Ken, his future, and Kizuna

Having talked about Kizuna’s extremely deep relationship to 02 as a series, it’s only natural that I should probably spend some extra focus on its main central character, Ichijouji Ken. It’s no secret that, although Daisuke was the protagonist of 02, Ken was the central figure to the series itself (after all, the series was founded on the concept of deconstructing the supposed “genius kid”), and so Kizuna having such a deep relationship with 02 means that it does, inevitably, have a deep relationship with Ken in particular.

The last twenty years have been full of a plethora of meta analysis on Ichijouji Ken as a character within 02 to the point I feel anything I could possibly come up with would probably be redundant, so today I’d like to place extra focus on his development after 02 (in terms of both canonical materials and general analysis), and how it leads up to his portrayal in the recently released Kizuna. (Naturally, spoilers for the movie will be below.)

We’ll start this analysis by looking at where Ken left off during the final episode of 02.

Thanks to his interactions with the rest of the 02 crew (especially Daisuke), Ken was slowly putting his life back together, but he still had a long way to go. As late as episode 49, we learned he still had suicidal ideation tendencies in regards to his deeds as the Kaiser, and although the rest of the team did get through to him in the end, it was clear that there was still a huge path ahead of him as far as coming to terms with himself and bonding with the rest of the team went. This was especially because he ended the series with the Dark Seed still in the back of his neck -- supernatural forces may have assisted his initial downfall, but it was going to be entirely on him to make sure that he never went back there again for the rest of his life.

One thing that’s really important to put in perspective is the actual chronology this ordeal took place in. Although the Kaiser saga spanned a little under half of the yearlong series that 02 was, Christmas skewed the schedule a little bit, so a good chunk of the second half of the series actually took place in much more condensed time than the first. Taking into account the official statement that everything before Christmas roughly aligns with the time of the year the relevant episode aired, and given the exact dates in December that we know episodes 38-50 take place in, within the course of 02, Ken’s reformation from being the Kaiser and bonding with the group spanned around only four months. That is not a lot of time, especially compared to the roughly two-year period Ken went through the trauma of his brother’s loss and his transformation into the Kaiser, so in actuality, Ken made a huge amount of progress considering how little time he had to do so.

Before we continue, I should make clear that I generally count pretty much everything in the Toei-esque fashion of “everything is canon, don’t think about contradictions too hard” (which is generally their modus operandi with pretty much any franchise), so pretty much everything here is fair game. That said, obviously, contradictions and other outliers do exist, so occasionally I am going to have to omit stuff that really, really doesn’t track...so for the sake of this analysis, I’m skipping Armor Evolution to the Unknown for two reasons: one, because it takes massive liberties with characterization for the sake of crack (it’s pretty hard to believe Ken would be this degree of flippant about the Kaiser persona in a more serious situation), and two, because it was written before 02 finished airing (it was released between episodes 43 and 44) and doesn’t reflect a lot of series and characterization development that happened later in the series. (Armor Evolution to the Unknown was released during a time period when the drama CDs were really, really big on the crack -- the three Adventure mini dramas are the same -- and it wasn’t until later that actual “serious” ones would start coming out.)

Given that, our next canonical point we can work with is Diablomon Strikes Back, which takes place in March 2003.

At this point Ken’s recovery is at a little around six months, and he’s making massive progress -- even if you’re not sure about counting the actual events of this movie as canon, it’s an excellent character study in terms of watching Ken’s emotional recovery at this point in time and his relationship with Daisuke, now that he’s not directly dealing with issues pertaining to his own past trauma.

It’s already a very different Ken from the one we’ve seen in the original series, where in episode 38 the idea of him laughing was such a huge shock, but here we already see a much wider emotional range from Ken -- light cheerfulness, playfulness, and at times even a bit of petulance. His actions and dialogue still have Ken’s trademark “softness” -- being kind and gentle has always been said to be his core inner trait, after all -- but, nevertheless, he’s a lot more willing to show “superficial” emotions, especially compared to how closed up, shy, and sometimes standoffish he would be within 02 proper.

Even Ken’s own body language indicates a lot -- he’s much more relaxed and  natural. Observe how he slouches here.

In fact, if you listen to Park Romi’s delivery of his lines throughout this movie, she voices him with a significantly higher-pitched and “lighter”, soft tone through all of it, which really gives off the impression that he’s much less emotionally uptight.

We get a glimpse of Daisuke and Ken’s future dynamic and how they’ll continue to be such tight friends in the future -- Ken is someone who can keep the infamously chaotic Daisuke in check (especially since prior to Ken coming into his life, Daisuke’s closest friend was probably Miyako, and while the two certainly got along very well with each other, they had a tendency to enable each other’s chaos a bit too much at times).

But despite Ken obviously trying to be more sensible than Daisuke here, it still manifests as a much greater show of emotion than the kind you’d be used to within 02 proper. He’s much more assertive with putting his foot down in keeping Daisuke under control, which indicates not only a more comfortable relationship with Daisuke in particular, but also a general increase in his ability to be assertive.

In one of his most famous scenes in this movie, he actually outright taunts Daisuke in order to spur him on. He’s doing it totally affectionately (it’s specifically to give Daisuke more motivation to keep running), but nevertheless, he’s taunting Daisuke -- not really something you'd expect from Ken in 02 proper. The original line in Japanese even has him use the very super-casual and aggressive end particle ~ze.

He even snarks about Daisuke’s convenient bouts of luck in ways that aren’t exactly complimentary (the literal phrasing of this line has “baka mitai ni” in it, in this context "some kind of ridiculous incredible power”).

And, near the end of the movie, when he starts to lose hope, it only takes a single line from Daisuke to get himself back together -- this kind of thing would have probably taken a whole speech in 02, even from Daisuke himself, but by this point Ken’s got a much better emotional grasp on himself.

And in the end, the movie ends on both Daisuke and Ken laughing together -- very lightly.

It’s easy to pass off Ken’s characterization in DSB as an incidental thing simply because this is a “side story” movie from 02 -- especially since it was technically produced during 02′s airing -- but in fact, this portrayal is consistent with what Ken has to say about himself during his next known point in canon, Spring 2003.

Given that Takeru’s track is apparently set “three months” after Christmas, and Miyako’s track talks about having just entered middle school, I assume that this means Ken’s takes place in around late March or early April 2003 (almost exactly a year since 02′s start), but in actuality nothing really “happens” during Ken’s track. Nevertheless, it provides a lot of information on Ken’s state of mind during this time and his own self-reflection on his past...and defines in very clear words what it is that Ken needs to move away from.

You were always in a bad mood and you were cold to me, but now that I think about it, maybe you really wanted to be nicer to other people. I don’t know what happened to you that made you act like you did, but now, I finally feel like I understand a bit. You were demanded to grow up fast, weren’t you, Brother? Because we were always being evaluated and compared by someone, we didn’t get a chance to have more freedom. We didn’t have any chances to run down an alley because we felt like it, or pull up weeds, or tumble around… meaningless things, things that didn’t bring any value to us at all. Just like the cat napping on the roof… we weren’t able to fully enjoy any everlasting freedom.

02 -- especially its latter half -- dealt largely with the concept of parents imposing too many expectations on their children, acting “proud” of them but actually using them to inflate their own self-worth, and in the end effectively robbing their own children of their right to “be children”. While we don’t know a lot about Osamu based on limited information about him, Ken’s parents also lament that they might have robbed Osamu of the opportunity to be a “normal boy” in 02 episode 23.

Once Ken took the role of the “family genius” after Osamu’s death, Ken was thus likewise robbed of that “normal childhood” due to all of the expectations put on him -- and Ken’s words in his track imply that it extended to before Osamu’s death, because just because Osamu was the favored one at the time didn’t mean that Ken wasn’t subject to the same kind of expectations to at least some degree, even if not as much. (Note how he really didn’t seem to have any kind of friends at all prior to Daisuke and the others.)

Thus, Ken’s ideal trajectory is to become “a normal child” -- one not subject to expectations as a “well-behaved genius child”. That applies not only to things like his academic or sports performance, but also even his core manners -- being a “normal person” in this context meaning being allowed to show emotions, be petty, have emotional range that extends beyond just being deferential and polite, and generally do things because he enjoys them and not because others expect him to. This is consistent with his portrayal in DSB, as in said movie he really does come off as a “normal boy” -- a young child who, while certainly less chaotic than Daisuke, is still enjoying himself and interacting with the world in “his own” natural, relaxed way rather than holding himself to obligations.

Another interesting thing about DSB is that it has Ken refer to Daisuke by given name. This is particularly intriguing because up until the end of 02, Ken consistently referred to Daisuke as “Motomiya” (he did use given name in episode 39, but it wasn’t something he really followed up on). This despite the fact he went with given names (plus honorifics) for everyone else in the 02 team, but it seems like Ken was still trying to figure out his very complicated feelings about Daisuke as someone who was his Most Hated Person™ during his Kaiser days and yet is now trying to aggressively reach through his barriers that he’s constructed out of self-defense.

And yet, extremely notably, almost every single post-02 material is consistent about the idea that Ken switches to given name basis with Daisuke after 02. (The only exception is Armor Evolution to the Unknown, which, as stated before, was written and recorded during 02′s airing and not after; notably, Daisuke is also on surname basis with Ken during that drama CD, even though he permanently switches to given name basis after episode 39.) That includes “out-of-hard-canon” things like Xros Wars episode 78.

Yet they still couldn’t remember to put the highlight back in Ken’s eyes, among other things.

Honorific and surname-given name basis fluctuated quite a bit in both Adventure and 02 (especially whenever canon material changed hands between writers), but for all intents and purposes, there is no reason Daisuke and Ken should not be on mutual given name basis after 02. This is especially when you take into account the more naturalistic relationship they have as of DSB -- there’s no standoffishness at all between them anymore.

This ties very deeply into how 02 portrayed its characters. One thing I’ve very, very often pointed out was that it was always an explicit point of contrast between themselves and the original Adventure team was that the 02 kids were not only “friends” in terms of fighting together on Digimon cases, but “friends” in the sense of actual social-life friends who clicked well in personality and adored each other’s company. (Part of this was because of the core theme of the series; Jogress being such a huge motif, “understanding your friends” took precedence over Adventure’s “understanding yourself”.) These are the kids who hung out together in the totally-not-related-to-any-Digimon-incident (at least, not at first) picnic in episode 6 and Christmas party in episode 38, a stark comparison to the Adventure kids who infamously started drifting as early as Our War Game!.

(Note that this isn’t meant to diminish or drop shade on the Adventure kids’ bonds in any way -- I feel like their bond is more of one that’s a “transcendent” one that crosses space and links them through their shared experience, but, nevertheless, is simply not the same in nature as the “social life” bonds the 02 kids had where they were very casual and yet intimate with each other in almost all daily life respects.)

As a result, Daisuke and Ken’s relationship ended up very different from that of their predecessors Taichi and Yamato -- it’s actually hard to imagine them getting in all that many highly heated fights in the same way their seniors would be prone to, and they’d generally be on “mild banter” terms for most of it. In fact, they come off as pretty casual and in-sync with each other, and it’s to the point where it really does feel like -- especially by the point of DSB -- staying on “standoffish” surname basis really is unwarranted.

And while it’s tempting to limit Ken’s relationship to only Daisuke, this did involve the rest of the 02 group, after all -- we got significant episodes defining his relationship to the others (Miyako got a whole episode in 25, and 30′s entire events kicked off because of an attempt to get him to better socialize with Iori!), and the 02 kids as a cohesive “overall group” were integral in getting Ken to open up and show different sides of himself. Although his relationship to certain team members ended up closer than others (Daisuke and Miyako, the ones who tried most aggressively to reach out to him, ended up getting the most out of him), nevertheless, it was important that Ken ultimately cultivated a relationship with a group of friends, and not just one.

This, of course, brings us to Kizuna, which takes place in the summer of 2010. This is a massive leap of time we don’t know a lot about, and for all it’s worth, this means we have, compared to the approximately two years Ken spent suffering under the influence of the Dark Seed, a whole eight years dedicated to potential recovery. There’s a lot that could have happened during that time, and what happened in between, we can only really guess.

Well, for one, he cut his hair.

The reveal of Ken’s design for Kizuna was a huge shock for those watching, because, among all of the twelve main human characters in Kizuna, he probably has the biggest and most drastic design change -- especially because his long hair was so iconic that even the epilogue depicted him with it (and even longer, at that). Were it not for other important identifiers like Wormmon’s presence and the fact said hair is at least still indigo blue, you’d almost wonder if it’s the same character.

(I do have to at least give props to this Animedia poster, though -- that soft and concerned expression is textbook Ken-chan, so it absolutely nails the vibe that it’s the same character despite the massive design change, and it even has a small cute detail that, despite clearly trying to calm Yamato down in haste, he’s still tidy enough to lay his chopsticks neatly on the bowl. That Ken has a habit of doing this while eating hot ramen is a very specific minor blink-and-you’ll-miss-it detail in 02 episode 36, and while I’d normally pass this off as coincidence, Kizuna and its PR has had such ridiculous attention to detail that I’m not entirely willing to.)

Not only that, his actual outfit in the movie is rather unassuming -- it’s just a black shirt, pants, and a belt, compared to the more distinctive/fashionable or setting-immersive outfits everyone else has. I mean, it sure beats that godawful grey gakuran he was constantly wearing during 02, but there were certainly a lot of complaints about how...well, unassuming and plain he looks.

The thing is, though, this is very much in line with how Ken would most likely want to present himself. When you think about it, Ken himself would probably not really appreciate his fanbase status as the “sad pretty boy”; having been scrutinized, evaluated, and put on uncomfortable pedestals through all of his early life, “blending in” and coming off as an average, unassuming person would be right up his alley.

Anyway, before we get into Kizuna itself, we have the drama CD that came with its BD, Where Should We Go? While it was released after the movie, in chronological timeline, it serves as a slight prequel, and what we learn about Ken in it is certainly...interesting. Namely, that he’s apparently a hardcore fan of Japanese hot springs. And not just a hardcore fan of them, but also a complete nerd.

The hot springs *obviously* must have free-flowing water. If possible, I think I’d prefer a quiet, rural flowing hot spring that’s surrounded by a moss-covered garden. Then I want to stay the night at a historical inn that focuses more on tranquility and wabi-sabi rather than wildness or beauty. I’m not looking for a lot on the food options, but the portions should ideally be neither too large nor too small. If we’re just going to relax our bodies, then I’d like it if there was a variety of hot springs to choose from. The water quality that I recommend for the ladies would be the hydrogen carbonate spring or the alkaline simple hot spring (these are otherwise known as simple hot springs with a basic pH of 8.5 or above), but my personal favorite is the hot sulphur spring! Incidentally, the hot sulphur spring is said to treat arteriosclerosis and high blood pressure. If it were possible, I’d like to take my time there… At least stay for two nights! Ahh… Hot springs… Hehehe…

I cannot stress enough how much the audio delivery for this depicts him as being terrifyingly into it. It’s also...not exactly the most fashionable thing for a nineteen-year-old to be into (actually, it’s more of a stereotype old man thing, what with the fixation on traditional Japanese aesthetics and health nut aspects), but we have Ken being very shameless and assertive about his personal interests, even if they’re a bit unusual.

Funnily enough, this isn’t actually the first time he was demonstrated to be a huge infodumping nerd -- it’s just that the last instance was questionably canonical, but tracks extremely heavily with what was just demonstrated here. Namely, Daisuke and Ken’s Shopping Carol:

Listen, the thing about Christmas is that it's one of the most important days in the world... It was the day the Savior was born... So, you go to church and pray... Of course, you knew all of that right?

Or in other words, he interrupts Daisuke’s wistful thoughts with The Actual Nerd Facts, because he’s a nerd. He even has a bit of a smart-aleck atmosphere...and then he cheerfully and sassily dumps all of the work on Daisuke thereafter. While the canonicity for this song is hard to place since it was released during 02′s airing (and 02 itself depicted a very different Christmas), plus the ambiguity of character song canon in general, it’s interesting how Ken’s portrayal here is pretty surprisingly in line with what we’re learning about his future personality.

The rest of what we see of Ken in the drama CD is what we generally knew about him already -- he’s kind, he dotes on Wormmon (he even indulges Wormmon’s request to take him skiing!), and he still keeps up with being into intellectual studies, and even soccer (he’s described as actually keeping up with soccer to the extent he does training camp), because he was always interested in those kinds of things -- it’s just that now he can indulge in them in ways he personally likes instead of being held to other people’s standards.

But he’s also very emotional, passionate, and openly assertive -- something he could be in 02, but only when it was something he really, really cared about, because most of the time he was a little more on the shy side with others. Not anymore. And he’s happy to indulge in the chaotic trip planning and enable the others, and, at the end, gives some sentimental words to Daisuke, his best friend.

Anyway, onto the movie itself!

Notably, they do not mention Ken’s past trauma nor his deeds as the Kaiser throughout the entire movie.

That might surprise people, given that this was...well, central to the entire plot of 02, so it’s arguably a glaring omission that despite having the 02 cast here, it’s not even brought up once. The only real “reference” to it is this scene, where Ken happens to be the one who knows about Menoa’s background as a child prodigy -- and even then it’s uncertain whether this had anything to do with said traumatic events (Menoa was admitted to Liberica in 2002 itself) as much as it’s a meta nod to Ken having a suspiciously similar background and the fact he and Menoa were based on the same real-life story (the nine-year-old boy who skipped grades into Columbia University).

But, again, recall that Ken has had eight years to move on from the events of 02, more time than said events had actually spanned over. That doesn’t mean he’s easily going to forget that trauma, nor that said events don’t still have an impact on him, but rather that a true positive development for him should have him not having to consciously dwell on it if it’s not necessary, and that his friends of now eight years should probably not be still holding it over him at a time like this.

After all, 02 itself was dedicated to scolding this kind of behavior -- not being “stuck in the past” (which, well, also happens to be a very pertinent theme when it comes to Kizuna...) was basically the entire point of the latter half, and so it stands to reason that Ken, and by extension the rest of the 02 cast, would be more focused on what they’re doing now instead of what happened back then.

In the absence of any references to said past, Ken in the actual movie ends up coming off as a bit unremarkable and plain compared to the three friends who end up surrounding him, all of whom have much more extreme personalities (the chaotic and exuberant Daisuke and Miyako, and the comically poker-faced Iori). But you get the feeling that he’s perfectly fine being that way -- rather, he’s enjoying getting all of his fun from his exciting friends, without feeling a need to spice things up himself.

So when we finally do meet Ken for the first time in Kizuna, he’s cheerfully eating ramen with Daisuke and Iori in New York (which, for all it’s worth, is probably really questionably legal, considering that Adventure’s world of 2010 likely still hasn’t figured out how to deal with that whole thing with “immigration and customs” as it pertains to Digital Gates.) Emphasis on cheerfully. He’s as tidy as ever (note how he still properly keeps his chopsticks between his fingers and cleans up after himself, albeit not as well as Iori), and he’s obviously more straight-laced than Daisuke or Miyako, but he isn’t really hiding the fact he’s also totally enjoying this. He didn’t even know why they were there for ramen in New York in the first place, but he just rolled with wherever Daisuke took him.

Recall that, according to their official profiles, these three go to completely different schools now -- Iori’s in high school, Daisuke’s at vocational school getting a chef’s license, and Ken’s in university studying psychology. (Which, by the way, is not brought up at all throughout the movie nor the drama CD! It’s easy to glean how his past experiences might give him an interest in the topic, and it’ll certainly be a valuable background to have for his future known career in criminal investigation, but despite Ken previously having had a reputation for being studious, it’s not brought up at all -- almost as if hanging out with his friends and having fun with them is more important and pertinent.) The drama CD even points out that Ken would normally be busy with soccer training camp. Yet they’re hanging out. In New York. Eating ramen. So, Yamato, what were you saying about how “choosing your own path can sometimes mean being alienated from friends”? If anything, these friends seem to be going out of their way to make sure they’re staying tight.

And, as you’d expect, Ken refers to Daisuke by given name, following DSB’s precedent. Again, given the nature of their relationship right now, this should be expected. There’s other evidence that Kizuna does use DSB as reference in certain other respects as well (Takeru calls Yamato “niisan”, which had previously been exclusive to that movie), and it’s very possible that Ken as portrayed in that movie was used as reference for his potential trajectory here.

Note that he seems to be even more outwardly affectionate with Wormmon than before (which is, shockingly, apparently possible) -- he still feeds his partner before feeding himself (similar to what he did in 02 episode 37), but now he also shamelessly carries Wormmon on his head, which he never did in 02. Perhaps it’s because he’s tall enough to carry the weight, but unlike with Takeru and Patamon, Wormmon is big enough that the sight is honestly comical -- yet Ken couldn’t care less, and while we don’t see him in his own school, it’s a sharp contrast to how Taichi and Yamato scoffed at the idea of bringing their partners to school because they “have their own lives to live”.

(A nice touch is Ken carrying Minomon from his arm, which actually comes from a very obscure piece of 02 concept art -- you can find it in the Character Complete File or the Animation Chronicle -- but was never depicted in the series proper. The Kizuna design works in the April 2020 edition of Animedia actually recreated that piece of art with Ken in the exact same position, only as a nineteen-year-old this time, which was an incredibly welcome thing to see.)

He greets Miyako upfront when she arrives, which doesn’t look like much on its face, but recall that this probably wouldn’t have happened during 02 proper -- not even with Daisuke! -- and, at the very least, not with this very casual “hey!” tone. It means a lot in terms of how much more casual of a person he’s been able to become in the last eight years, and how much more casual he is with this group (well, at least with Miyako). Takeru also greets Wormmon in the drama CD, and Wormmon seems pretty unusually happy to see Hawkmon when they meet each other there, certainly implying a lot of interpersonal interaction since.

Miyako meets up with them (and, going back to how tight these kids are, Miyako would come in all the way from Spain to meet her friends even for the exact same job that she dumped on her seniors), and they end up infiltrating Menoa’s office. He gets in a line of snark, especially because the Shueisha Mirai novel indicates he’s deliberately “looking the other way” in regards to worrying about security -- looks like he’s developing some Lawful tendencies, but in the end, his friends and getting to the bottom of the real truth take priority.

And, also, it’s still pretty clear he’s totally taking the opportunity to enjoy this.

So what does this all mean, really? He’s taking a fairly passive attitude with his abundantly more chaotic friends, but he’s also not protesting, and he’s enjoying everything he can out of it. He’s a bit quieter than he was in DSB, but that could easily just be from being older and a bit more mature, and he hardly comes off as reserved, either (it helps that Daisuke doesn’t quite resort to any antics nearly as ridiculous as he did in DSB, so there’s no need to keep him in check -- yep, even Daisuke got a bit more mature himself). And he’s joining these kids in being possibly some of the most chaotic disaster adults (near-adults?) on this planet, in a sharp contrast to their seniors.

I mentioned earlier in my analysis of Kizuna’s relationship to 02 that Ken is actually a “hidden” foil to Kizuna’s main antagonist, Menoa -- they were both conceived from the same idea Producer Seki had regarding the real-life “genius boy” who ended up going to Columbia University at a young age and, in her opinion, was going to be robbed of a proper childhood experience. 02′s Dark Seed children arc was a major indictment against parents forcing this kind of pressure on children, not only in the sense of pushing them academically but also quashing out their more “childish” dreams for the sake of a more “dignified” outlook and future. Through the events of 02, Ken learned a very personal lesson on not losing his “true self” to the pressure of those expectations, and the meaning of valuing his family and friends instead.

Ken and Menoa, effectively, were originally on the same path, but thanks to the circumstances of 02, Ken managed to avert Menoa’s fate and ended up following his own way. Nevertheless, Ken was largely robbed of a normal kid’s childhood up until the age of eleven, and it stands to reason that, even at the age of nineteen, he might still be trying to make up for all of those fun experiences he never was able to have.

Funny thing about his haircut, too -- this isn’t the first time Ken’s had this haircut, actually. You know when was the last known time he did?

Hm. Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not.

But unlike Menoa, who decided that it would be better to trap herself in her own distorted view of what “childhood” is, or Oikawa, who ended up clinging dearly to the last reminder he had of what he’d lost from his childhood, Ken ends up dealing with it in a very forward-facing manner. In fact, he’d elucidated his feelings on the issue back in Spring 2003:

There are still a lot of times when I think about how I should have “done this back then.” But I discovered that there are many things I can do over afterwards. I’ll stop counting the things that I can’t do. Because I’m sure there are many things that I can do.

Instead of living in regrets about the past, Ken simply chooses to move forward by making new fun experiences and memories with his friends, befitting those he couldn’t have when he was a kid, and perhaps even enhanced by his newfound freedom as a nineteen-year-old.

During the final battle, we get a few more emotional and assertive shows from Ken -- his concern about Miyako is pretty frantic-sounding, and the fact he steps in so quickly and frantically to help her out by his own will is pretty impressive. And then he definitively declares that they can’t afford to give up -- which is certainly in line with the nobility he had even during 02, but remember when, even in DSB, Daisuke had to be the one to remind him of this? Now he’s the one reassuring his teammates about this, all on his own. When it all comes down to it, his sense of awareness of what he wants and what he wants to do is stronger than ever.

I mentioned in my analysis of Kizuna in relation to 02 that the 02 kids are in a fairly unique position in the movie, thanks to having already practically gone through a lot of the lessons in both 02 and Kizuna, thus leading them to become very lacking in susceptibility to potentially losing their partners anytime soon (and in fact are deliberately portrayed as such). I would say of all of them, Ken is the most representative of this -- being such a direct foil to the movie’s main antagonist, one who actually came dangerously close to making some of the exact same mistakes she did and emerged with his own trauma as a result, the lessons and warnings imparted by the movie are already deeply embedded in his being.

He’s one of the most openly affectionate and intimate with his partner, having already learned the very, very hard way of what happens when you don’t treasure your partner properly. (He’s taking Wormmon jogging with him, which has got to be an awfully uncomfortable setup, but, goddammit, he’s gonna make it work. And if ~With~ is to be believed, he’s been doing this for years now.) He’s still got a Dark Seed in the back of his neck as an eternal reminder to remember who he is, and to acknowledge the love from his family and friends around him instead of succumbing to arbitrary societal expectations. Remember what I said in my earlier analysis about the true reason for partnerships dissolving, and how deeply it was tied to throwing yourself away for the sake of arbitrary standards of adulthood? Ken’s experiences and extremely painful trauma are like a giant do not do this stamp on his face, and although everyone in this cast is naturally human and may have ups and downs or relapses, Ken is possibly one of the last characters one could imagine succumbing to that kind of mistake again.

So we make it to the epilogue, and although Ken’s technical job title as given in the epilogue is literally “police officer” (keisatsukan), his form of dress (plainclothes, not uniform) and his the Character Complete File indicate he’s from the Digimon Special Investigations Unit (tokusoubu), or, in other words, he’s actually a public-servant detective. (So no, the various dubs also going with “detective” are thus not “changes” in this respect.) In short, he investigates scenes of crimes after they happen, and the Character Complete File provides an example in the form of him investigating a dead body found at the river.

This is probably why Kizuna has him major in psychology, because forensic psychology would be a pretty useful skillset for this kind of job, and a university education in general would most certainly be helpful. (The job requirements as per the Japanese system also require a very high level of athleticism and aptitude.) On the other hand, considering what we know about Ken up to Kizuna, there aren’t any indications that he treated this like any kind of major aspiration, and the psychology major makes you think he might have just fallen into this career by a series of accidents -- he took an interest in psychology (and mental health) due to his own experiences, and then decided that “discovering the truth behind things” was up his alley (much like Iori). Even more notably, his position isn’t really described in any history-making terms, not even ones like being “the first” of anything (like Jou), and it feels like he’s doing this to contribute to society in a way he prefers more than he’s trying to accomplish anything world-shattering.

But on the flip side, it’s probably no coincidence that the 02 epilogue portrays him with such a big family. Of course, it also fits with his and Miyako’s family backgrounds (they’d probably want their kids to have siblings, given their own experiences), but since the Dark Seed was described as having its effects countered by acknowledging how much you’re loved, Ken is clearly surrounded by love -- his wife is one of the most openly affectionate people out there, and his kids (or at least his middle child) use the same “Mama” kind of affectionate language Ken shared with his own parents. Once the events of 02 came to a close at the end of 2002, Ken went on a journey of discovering his own self-assertion, personal desires, and fun -- shedding the expectations and societal standards others had of him, and learning to enjoy life in ways he personally enjoys, for his own sake.

[organizationhimself]

Dark Bramble Guide [Taco Bell update]

My friend keeps getting deep space murdered so I figured I would help.  Please note: I am extremely witty and hilarious and I know it.​

So here’s what I’ve learned.

Dark Bramble has five SIX AUGH different openings.  Four along the sides, one on “top,” and one on the “bottom.”  I consider Dark Bramble to be “upright” when it is oriented like so:

Most of the time you’re going to be dumped in front of the four middle openings, which can be the hardest to recognize if you don’t know where to look.

I’ve also determined two routes.  In some cases you can get straight to the Vessel, and in others it’s better to go to the Escape Pod 3 first, and then change your marker to the Vessel (which at least gives you something to do while you’re floating past the three fish).  There is ALWAYS a fish guarding a Vessel seed, but the one in the Escape Pod room is much easier to avoid aggroing as a rule.

Bear in mind that when identifying these routes, I have just shot for my targets (Escape Pod, Vessel) completely full throttle the entire time, not giving a fuck in the world, and eliminated routes that get me eaten this way.  So the key to fish avoidance is to go in one direction as much as possible and avoid firing your rockets in any other directions; often I have been able to full throttle right past a fish that didn’t get upset till I fired a rocket to one side or the other.

I’ve decided to help identify these with some features I call the Dewclaw and the Forsaken Breadstick:

Right in between the Dewclaw and the Breadstick, we have Chili’s:

Chili’s has an Escape Pod in an ok place close by the entrance, and if you’re practicing going straight from Timber Hearth to Dark Bramble, you will always see Chili’s first.  But there’s some vines and stuff in the way of the Escape Pod that make this route sub-par.  There’s better places, so we’re gonna skip Chili’s.  Let’s talk about Tim Hortons.

Tim Hortons is always to the right of Chili’s and the Breadstick and has the best Escape Pod route on the planet, apart from his brother Tom Hortons (who we will get to later).  There’s no fish getting to the Escape Pod’s seed, it’s VERY close, and I have always avoided fish on my way to the Vessel seed from very soon after entering the room unless I was looking for a fish for Science (though there’s some annoying twisting geometry in the way if you don’t go in the direction of the Escape Pod for a bit).  His Vessel route is very dangerous (2 fish yikes) and I got insanely lucky, so that’s a hard no.

This Escape Pod is the route I used to beat the game, so I’m sure it works once you have the warp core (I don’t know if more fish can spawn after you get the warp core but just in case).

Left of Chili’s, we have Olive Garden:

So at first I didn’t really recommend Olive Garden, because I thought the Escape Pod route was ideal and its Escape Pod will absolutely kill you.  But its Vessel route is actually pretty straightforward and could actually be a winner (I had a hard time attracting the attention of its fish).  It seems like Olive Garden tends to be the facing you get when you go straight from the Twins to Dark Bramble with the warp core so it’s probably the one most people naturally go into first.

To the right of Olive Garden (and left of Tim), basically in the “back” of Dark Bramble if you’re facing Chili’s like when you first arrive, there’s Tim’s brother Tom.  This far around it’s hard to see our main two landmarks so here’s a newer, shittier one (sorry):

I called him Tom Hortons because at first I thought he was basically a copy of Tim’s, but Tom is actually better because Tom is an all around yes man.  You want to go Escape Pod?  Do it bud.  Vessel seed?  Yeah man.  Tom’s a bro.  However he is, as I discovered intensely painfully, very easy to mistake for Dark Bramble’s sixth location (the one most visible from directly on “top”), which I have decided to call Taco Bell because it is a pain in my ass:

Taco Bell is kind of caged in by everybody’s sick ‘do’s and is most easily accessible from going around back of Chili’s, to either Olive Garden or Tom Hortons.  It has a perfectly acceptable Escape Pod, and its Vessel seed is basically completely hit or miss.  There’s a vine in front of it in some orientations, so if you go the wrong way around it there’s a Very Mad fish. So like, unless you’re aiming for an Escape Pod route, just don’t go to Taco Bell, y’know?  It’s not worth it.

Finally, on the bottom, there’s Subway:

Subway is extremely easy to find because it’s on the very bottom and caged inside a bunch of vines that can be a little tricky to navigate.  Also, its Escape Pod route will kill you.  Its Vessel route may, potentially, also kill you--I found the fish easier to aggro--but it is very close and convenient like Olive Garden and Tom Hortons.  Basically you might as well go to one of those, they’re just as close and easier on entry, but if you’re really struggling to identify them then Subway is impossible to miss.  You have to want to go there.

Again, orientation is EVERYTHING in Dark Bramble, so if I say things are in the upper left/right/whatever then that’s gonna be meaningless if you approach from a different angle, but here are some outside and inside photos from the center openings as approached from an “upright” angle.  This is proceeding around Dark Bramble’s center, starting from Chili’s and moving right:

Taco Bell on top and Subway on bottom are impossible for me to give a consistent orientation for, so Subway may vary significantly from what you see depending on your angle:

Taco Bell is a pain in the ass so it gets two of these based on which other (better) opening you face before you fly “up” over it:

So basically, the safe Escape Pod seeds tend to be very close to the ceiling or wall and out of the way, and if the Vessel seed looks far away I’d try another entrance.  From cross-referencing I have determined that a safe initial distance is usually between 1 and 1.3km, and a distance between 1.5 and 1.7km almost certainly has a fish, but again some orientations may still end up attracting attention where others would not.

Best Escape Pod Routes:

Tom Hortons

Tim Hortons

Taco Bell

Chili's (obstructed)

Best Vessel Routes:

Tom Hortons

Olive Garden

Subway

Taco Bell (obstructed)

I am pretty sure that both the Escape Pod room and the Vessel room are the same entrance flipped around different ways no matter where you enter the seed, and it’s really impossible to make the orientation consistent, but as a result both the Pod and the Vessel should be in the same place and you can navigate from there.

If you choose to take an Escape Pod route, I’d recommend aiming for the Escape Pod itself until you see a really prominent red glow from the Vessel seed.  This can help you avoid all the crap floating around in the way, and it’s also completely safe once you get into the vines (I have never been eaten there from any orientation).  Alternatively, following the lights to the dead Nomai also gives you a straight shot to the Vessel seed with what feels to me like the smallest possible chance of running into a fish (I think this is a gameplay mechanic), but it takes longer.

Once you actually make it into the Vessel seed DO NOT MOVE.  You will not hit the fish.  You cannot hit the fish.  You will literally go through the fish, and then it’s ok to start accelerating up to 2 bars as long as you are under 900km away from the Vessel marker (but probably safer at under 800km). After further testing, I’m pretty sure there’s only one fish inconveniently close to the final seed, which you pass on the way.  I tend to be drifting at this point to make sure I don’t slam into the branch between me and the seed, so I don’t recommend going above 1 bar around here if you can help it, the fish is more aggressive than I first thought and it’s kind of 50/50 whether he’ll actually chase you.

Fortunately, there’s a pretty foolproof direction to go in:

This last branch before the seed has a little curved area that is the perfect size for your ship, and if you go through it while still aiming for the Vessel, you will be almost perfectly lined up for an opening.  (In this particular orientation I managed not to alert the fish at all, but it’s not a good idea to stop to adjust here, I’d just aim for this opening regardless.)

I think this section is kinda designed for the fish to notice you, and even if he does, you’re generally going to be close enough to the seed to make it inside before he can reach you.  But sometimes he screams at me just as I’m about to go inside it even if he made no reaction before, so be prepared for that possibility.

Last tips: -If you do attract a fish, try to put it between you and a seed.  It will get slowed down or stuck in the geometry, giving you some time to go into the seed. -If a fish groans and comes your way, stop thrusting IMMEDIATELY.  If you go dark before it screams, it will go where it last heard the noise and you can coast right past.  (It helps to be going at a pretty fast pace.) -For endgame setup, I found 2:00 - 3:00 to be an optimal timing to doze off at the fire before going to Ash Twin to catch the first cycle (but that can vary across consoles/computers).

(Edit: Looks like my theme is not nice to these images so larger versions are available here if you need clearer ones, or the full guide is also up on Steam now because I am a menace.)

On a final note, Outer Wilds doesn’t care about your suffering, which is why the very first time I finally pulled out the warp core, Ember Twin got ahold of my ship and did this shit to it:

thanks for coming to my ted talk good luck with ur endless fish.

@autopotion

[reticentshugyosha]

Remembering My Early Training

I feel really quite fortunate to have stumbled into classical martial arts when I was a kid. As opposed to the more generic and significantly less exciting forms of kick-punch arts out there, my experience of Ryukyu Kempo was infinitely more colorful and arguably deep, if not at times in unintended and unexpected ways.

The first several weeks of training in Ryukyu Kempo consisted of wearing normal clothes to a class of black (yes black) dogi clad students practicing an array of empty handed kata, alongside kobujutsu, and distinct grappling maneuvers called tuite. I, however (like most new students at the time) was slated to make my way to the edge of the training area to watch class, and more importantly, to make friends with “Mr. Suburito.”

A suburito is an extra large, weighted wooden training sword. Despite its already bulky nature, the more senior students of the school would bore out holes along the blade of the veritable branch and fill them with lead for extra difficulty. My adult-sized, but not otherwise modified “Mr. Suburito” was quite enough for me to handle in awkwardly learning how to carry and draw him, so as to perform a great many downward, centerline cuts subsequently. I mean wooden swords are cool and all, but it was admittedly a little curious way to begin training in what I expected to be generically open handed karate art. Fast forward 20+ years later and I’m still discovering the nuance of that particular exercise in reference to my open handed skill set (including both striking and grappling) and my practice of kobujutsu at large.

After a few weeks of learning to relate to Mr. Suburito, I was introduced to Naihanchi Shodan as my first kata (solo exercise), rather than a taikyoku or kihon (typically low block and middle punch) manner of pattern.

The instruction given for the seemingly arcane Naihanchi kata was that the interestingly venerated Master Choki Motobu famously noted it was the only thing needed to gain a complete knowledge of karate. Beyond that, according to the Guiding Principles of our school “in the past a single master studied a single Kata for more than ten years…” and that if we just wholeheartedly threw ourselves into the practice of the kata (which follows a single horizontal, line enbusen [floor pattern] that sees the student moving left and right in a side-oriented kiba dachi [horse stance], while performing 27 duplicated movements at the left, right and center of the body, including two seeming ritualized double handed “salutes”) we would be well on our way to becoming truly skilled and wise practitioners of the art.

All of these things about the Naihanchi Kata were of course true, and after quite literally hundreds of thousands of repetitions of that particular 27-movement form over the course of more than two decades, I still cannot pretend to fully grok the contents and blueprints contained within that one archetypal form. Nonetheless, the unspoken fact was too that Mr. Suburito and the arcane Naihanchi Kata (despite the realities of the respective, intentionally subtle and skillful physical conditioning technologies contained within them) were really about slowly introducing a potential new member of the dojo into the actual training methods of the style and school without revealing anything too obviously dangerous, should the new recruit to prove to not be of the “good moral character” demanded by the Dojo Kun. Should that be the case, and should such a recruit find themselves to have worn out their welcome, the public was nominally protected, and the secrets of the school were further safeguarded by those deemed trustworthy enough to receive them. To return again to an examination of the Guiding Principles “the eagle with the sharpest talons hides them.”

As you can imagine, the onboarding process was a little more lengthy than that at a typical karate school. I recall distinctly having to memorize and be able to recite on command the five statements of the Dojo Kun (school code) and the ten paragraphs comprising the Guiding Principles (about a typed page and a half combined) before being able to progress beyond Mr. Suburito’s lone company.

After Naihanchi Shodan was sufficiently committed to mental and physical memory, and an exercise or two beyond simple striking sets with Mr. Suburito, two more similarly single, horizontal line enbusen comprised Naihanchi Kata (Nidan and Sandan) would follow, before I (the student) would actually be introduced to anything clearly resembling combat in posture, gesture, or movement in the truly unique “Tomari” Seisan (which is in fact a rather intricate white crane form, as opposed to most other forms sharing its name). For me this took about a year (without receiving or testing for a single belt rank along the way; curiously even the black belts didn’t wear rank belts, only a unique form of pantaloons called nobakhama, with but a couple of students who had here-and-there tested for a colored belt donning one).

However, it’s notable that within three or so weeks I (who hadn’t been yet taught how to do a simple block or strike in the manner of the system) would suddenly find myself introduced to the chizikun bo, a type of paired koppo (6” sticks with leather finger loops drilled through their centers, used as weapons, which are placed over the middle fingers of both hands). As it turns out a 7th Dan Kyoshi (Master) of the art would be teaching a rare form for the weapon at an even rarer full weekend training camp alongside a river at a distant and rural campsite.

You see, Kyoshi was always on the verge or “retiring,” and taking his still undivulged body of genuinely unique knowledge with him. Kyoshi never could quite get a successful dojo up and running himself (in fact the dojo was quite transient and moved or closed at least once a year) but nonetheless he (due to a mixture of actual skill and cowboy charisma) kept a pretty dedicated band of students within his orbit.

Whenever Kyoshi was strapped for cash a special training called a “Spirit Class” (a four+ hour day of Mr. Suburito and Naihanchi-esque kiba dachi chudan tsuki [horse stance middle punches]) could be scheduled for a nominal fee, inclusive of a custom screen printed t-shirt. If the bank was really coming to task though, a new, and somehow legitimately rare kobujutsu kata could be transmitted, replete with a custom printed t-shirt (for one low price) over the course of a weekend, and all hands were to be on deck. At no extra cost came the knowledge that if you open the advanced chizi kata the wrong way it “looks like you guys are trying to tear your peckers off” (LMAO, seriously) and that if you want to shower at a rural campsite you should stop and get quarters first, and that when you stop and get quarters first you should make sure that the item you’re buying to break cash into change with costs an appropriate amount so as to retrieve quarters in change. Twelve and thirteen year olds have to learn this stuff sometime! 😉

At this point I feel it worthwhile to note that Kyoshi did eventually retire and move out of state and out of touch, with some yet untaught and authentically rare and valuable skills in tow. I still practice that kata, or what I think I was taught at the time, and I’ve met very few people that know the “advanced chizi kata.”

Picking back up in week five of my training (and far beyond) Naihanchi Nidan and Sandan were gradually learned, and suddenly I had been indoctrinated and inducted properly into the tradition. By then I practiced my kata and exercises single mindedly while lusting over a copy of the Grandmaster’s newly self-published textbook. The textbook was sold only by a single school in his association for what was then (and now, but then especially) a very steep price of $65 (and a far cry from the $15 cost of his senior student’s very useful introductory manual sold in the same venue).

Speaking of those students and that venue, it was around this time that I recall that I began to realize that our faction of the art was no longer in the good graces of the Grandmaster’s association, and that there existed some really bad juju between the two camps. But regardless, we were all agreed that we were far superior to, and would not associate ourselves with, the third group of people accused of having stolen some of the secrets of the Grandmaster’s art at a few generous public seminars.

But I digress. For us, our “classical” system (as opposed to “traditional,” or the even more anathema “modern” styles) of karate was supreme (and admittedly the older I get the more my bias does swing that way among Japanese and Okinawan striking arts). Labeled sell-outs like Gichen Funakoshi of Shotokan fame were but “shamisen players with silver tongues who only ever learned the outside of karate” (or so said that curious younger Master Motobu again…the older Master Motobu was quite more refined in manners and skill). In short, if you wanted to real deal, you had to come to us.

My early life experience in Ryukyu Kempo introduced me to some of the most wonderful and valued friends and mentors in my life who I have been blessed to have cherished relationships with for decades now. Too, it broke (early on, in life and in training) many of my romantic conceptions of humanity, while also providing me an all but stereotypicalized idyllic training milieu. I really couldn’t have had it better anywhere else.

~Sunyananda

[literarytrashcollection]

The Model

AN: I love me a soft, fluffy Bucky. I just wanna snuggle him always. Also, spot the Stan Lee cameo.

Bucky x Reader

----------

I could feel my heart hammering in my chest as I approached the lounge area. Steve and Bucky were talking softly, gentle laughter and whispered memories. How could I interrupt that with something so mundane? I steeled myself at the doorway, mouthing over the words again as I rehearsed what I was going to say for the hundredth time.

I walked in, trying to be casual, and sat down in one of the oversized arm chairs.

“Morning, Y/N,” Bucky said lightly, picking up his coffee. Ever since I had joined the Avengers, I’d be well and thoroughly adopted as the baby of the group. Parker even was defensive over me, and he was younger than me.

I flashed Bucky a nervous smile and looked down at my lap. “Steve, I need to ask you a favor.” I finally blurted after what felt like an eternity of silence. When neither of them spoke, I raised my eyes slightly, meeting Steve’s. “We’re doing…” I cleared my throat. It was suddenly drier than the Sahara in the room and I wanted to run away desperately. “We’re studying the human form for art class and I was wonderingifyouwouldbemymodel.” It came out like word vomit and I swear my face was going to burst into flames from the sheer heat of it.

Bucky snorted. “Aw, Stevie, Y/N wants to get you naked.”

My eyes snapped to Bucky and I narrowed them. “I will end you.” I hissed, but he just laughed harder. “They have a model we can use at school, but I thought the bragging rights would be deserved if I got to use an Avenger. Also, the model at school is a creepy old dude.” The word vomit just kept coming. I was babbling, my nose scrunched up as the image of Stan, the art model came to the forefront of my mind.

I refused to look at Steve—or stop talking—until he said my name gently. When I looked up, he was sitting forward with his elbows on his knees, Dad-Look firmly seated on his face. “Are your intentions pure?” He asked, voice grave but I could see him stifling a smile, just the slightest sparkle of mischief in his eyes.

“That’s it, I’m gonna ask Nat. She’ll do it.” I huffed, standing to storm out of the room. Nat would tease me too, but it would be Titanic jokes, instead of “are you just trying to fuck me” jokes at least.

“I’ll do it,” Bucky said and for a minute, I don’t think me or him or Steve or God even believed what just came out of his mouth. “I mean, if you’re going to get bragging rights for doing an Avenger, it may as well be extra challenging.” He added, raising his metal arm. “Besides, I’m still grounded after I got a little too aggressive with that crime syndicate from my last mission. I’ve got time to kill.”

Steve and I both stared at each other, then back at Bucky. “You know she’s talking about getting you naked, right?” Steve asked.

“No shit, Sherlock. When has my being naked in front of a cute girl ever bothered me?” Bucky retorted. He then took a deep breath and raised his eyebrows at me. “When do we start?”

----------

Bucky came with me to school the next day. The art department was usually empty on Fridays, so we were able to find a room to ourselves easily. I locked the door, closed the blinds and turned on the lights that I needed while Bucky wandered the edges of the room, looking at the knick-knacks and half finished pieces that littered the shelves.

“If you’re an Avenger, why are you still going to college?” He asked abruptly, fingers drifting over a freshly kiln-ed abstract pottery piece.

I shrugged. “Can’t Avenge forever. Besides, I’m still just in training. I’ve got no more clearance than you do.”

I pushed a lounge chair out of the corner and into the center of the room and draped a cloth over it, then set up my easel and stool. I could calm my raging nerves with the methodical routine of my art set up, ignore the warning sirens in my head with the stability and consistency of an easel, a pad of paper, pencils, erasers and fixative.

“You can probably get comfortable now. You brought a book, right?” I asked, setting out pencils and charcoal for myself. I started some music too, just so I could zone out and work without thinking too much about the fact that I was drawing Bucky naked for a grade. I understand all of those words separately, said the voice in my mind, dwelling on it being Bucky and him being naked and the ease of which he was willing to do it.

“I didn’t know I needed to,” he said sheepishly and my heart dropped. He was going to be naked, bored, and making fun of me. I had planned to just draw him reading, but that was out the window. Fan-fucking-tastic. “It’s okay, I can amuse myself.” He said with a dirty smirk, voice dripping innuendo.

I sighed and waited while he stripped down to his underwear. We both met eyes for a moment as he dropped his last article of clothing and every inch the cloth fell from his hips was an inch of blush that crawled up my chest and over my face. I quickly busied myself with adjusting my sketch pad on the easel, making sure my pencils were sharp enough, that I had enough smudge sticks and erasers.

“How should I… How do you want me?” He asked and I swallowed thickly. Not only did I have to draw him naked, but I had to adjust him naked too?

I walked over, making a point to not look at him, but at the space around him as I positioned him, so he was mostly sitting up, one leg kind of propped up, the other stretched out, his metal arm draped across his stomach in an effort to cover his junk for my own benefit.

I tried to position him so he looked strong, powerful, but leisurely. I wanted him to look regal, a man completely in control of himself and the people around him. That’s how I envisioned him. He wasn’t a leader yet, but he could be. “Comfy?”

He nodded and offered me a reassuring smile. “Trust me, this isn’t the weirdest thing I’ve done naked.” What is the weirdest thing you’ve done naked, Barnes? I didn’t ask what my head was screaming, but I couldn’t help my wandering mind.

“That does not instill me with any kind of confidence, Buck.” I sighed, returning to my things. “Try not to move, if you can help it. I’m going to snap a reference photo, just so if you need to get up and go to the bathroom or anything, you can and we can just reposition you.” I picked up my phone and took the photo. God, this was bad. I was horrified. I shouldn’t have even asked Steve. Bucky wouldn’t have known and then I wouldn’t have been in this predicament. Natasha would have been a much better candidate.

“Y/N, this isn’t a big deal, you know? I give you shit, but this isn’t that weird. Just friends hanging out.” I knew he could read my discomfort. It’s not like I hid it at all. But I felt bad being so weird about it at the same time. “Why’d you pick Steve anyway?”

I set my phone down and got comfortable on my stool, trying to decide where to start, both with the picture and with the answer. “He’s an artistic guy. I figured he would understand what I was doing better than most of you guys.”

“But why not Wanda or Natasha? Wanda seems like she’d be into this kind of stuff.” He asked as I started with his foot. I figured the best way to start was to trace the whole thing, then work the details in.

I sighed a little. “I can draw the female figure all day long. I happen to be female, if you hadn’t noticed. So, I kind of already know what it all looks like.”

“So, what? You’re saying you’ve never seen the male figure?” He asked with a laugh. I didn’t reply, which seemed to be answer enough for him. I’d resigned myself to doing this whole assignment with a blush on my face anyways. “Are you a virgin?”

I took a deep breath, focusing intently on my work and the music. I traced the curve of his legs, with my eyes and my pencil. Then his abdomen, his arms, his chest and shoulders.

“It’s okay if you are. I just thought… a pretty girl like you with so much confidence and charisma, you know?” He chuckled, his eyes far away, like he was reveling in some memory dredged up. My heart did a flip when he sucked his lower lip between his teeth, my mind wandering to a filthy place. I had to stop myself.

I put my pencil down for a minute and shut my eyes. “Boys never really liked me because I’m so… strong.” Boyish, masculine, aggressive, independent, memories of all the rejections I’d faced flitted through like a bad slideshow of sadness, quelling any inappropriate thoughts that might’ve been forming.

Bucky actually snorted. “Seriously? No offense, Y/N, but you must be going after pussies.” When I didn’t reply again, focusing instead on his metal arm, he continued: “Doll, if they can’t see through your powers to who you are, they’re just shallow, egocentric douche bags looking for empowerment. You deserve lightyears better than that.”

“It’s hard to find guys who can see past the powers though,” I shrugged. “Guys don’t even want to get close to a girl who can throw them across a room. A lot of the ones who were into that were… weird. And that’s not to say that all men are like that, just the ones that I’ve had to pleasure of dealing with.”

“Definitely not all men,” Bucky chuckled cryptically.

I shook my head, narrowing my eyes as I drew in the slats of his metal arm, added in the glinting light that reflected off of it. I felt my heart squeeze as I drew the marred flesh at his shoulder, the place where they had so indelicately taken his flesh arm away and forced the metal one on him.

“For the record, I think you’re wonderful the way you are.” Bucky piped up awkwardly.

I smiled a little. “Thanks Buck.” I had long since accepted myself. “Dating’s kind of on the back burner. If I happen across a decent guy who genuinely likes me and isn’t put off by my powers, awesome. Otherwise, I’m happy. I’m gonna finish my degree significantly earlier than most, I’m an Avenger and if I ever decide I’m done Avenging, then I’ve got a restaurant back home to run.”

“Is that what you’re in school for?”

“I’m in school for business management and accounting, both of which will help.” I nodded. I stood up and walked over to him, frowning as I studied his chest and the criss-crossing lines of scars that interrupted otherwise beautiful skin. I could feel him watching me, but couldn’t be bothered to care. As long as I didn’t have to study his dick, I could pretend that this wasn’t weird.

“So, why the art classes then?” He asked as I hesitantly reached out and traced a particularly long scar that ran from his collarbone to his hip. Once I was content with my recollection of his scars, I went back to my stool, lightly penciling them in before I went back for the detail work.

I couldn’t help but be enamored by the strong planes of muscle and smooth skin that stretched across his body. He was beautifully constructed and honestly, the artist part of me (and maybe the girl part of me) wanted to study every inch of him from head to toe because he was stupidly perfect. I could’ve spent years drawing him and never stopped being impressed by him.

“I have always loved art. Business is practical, but art is where my heart lives.” I mumbled. It was corny, but it was true. As much as Avenging made me feel good, made me feel like I was in the right place in my life, art was always my dream. Becoming an Avenger was like walking into a tower dedicated to art models, emotions thriving and warring between these god-like beings, emotions just begging to be captured with pencils and paper and paint.

He didn’t say anything for a while and when I looked up, his eyes were shut, face relaxed. Was he really that bored? I let my gaze linger as I studied the peaceful set of his face, the smudge of his lashes that dusted his cheeks, the soft, pillowy shape of his lips, juxtaposed with the sharp angles of his jaw and cheeks, hard and soft beautifully married to make up a face so perfect, it should’ve been illegal.

Maybe that was the real reason he was the most deadly assassin in the world, taking “if looks could kill” into a reality where he was so beautiful, people just dropped dead.

“Y/N, if you love art so much, that’s what you should do. You shouldn’t do something to make your family happy. You should do something that makes you happy.” Bucky said softly, startling me out of my revere. I busied myself with my drawing again, trying to translate the softness of his face onto the page.

“That’s what my parents keep telling me too,” I sighed.

“They’re right.”

I took a deep breath. Drawing his loose hair made me want to run my fingers through it, feel the softness of it.

Should’ve asked Nat. You wouldn’t be falling in love with her if you were drawing her, came that annoying little voice in my head. My heart thumped in agreement, but it knew that I’d held a special place for Bucky there long before I’d gotten him naked and posed for a drawing.

“What’s your dream, Buck?” I asked, trying to distract myself.

He didn’t speak again for a long time, but this time when I looked over, he was staring right at me, a sadness pulling his eyebrows together and tightening his lips into a hard line. “I think, kinda like Stevie, anything I wanted from life died when I went off the cliff. A lot of what he wanted out of life died in the ice.”

“So, what, you’re just floating aimlessly right now?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I’m trying really hard to heal from the Solider, you know? I want to be a better man now than I was then. I guess I’m just trying to use what I learned from him for good. I guess my dream is to just be better than I was.”

My heart broke for him. He’d been through too much in his life, lost too much of his life to HYDRA and the Soldier inside him.

“I didn’t mean to make you sad. I guess I just feel kind of open to you right now,” he laughed nervously.

I flicked my eyes back up to his face for a moment and shook my head. “I’m just sad for the past you’ve had. You’re already a better man than he was.”

He chuckled and stood, walking over to see what I’d done so far, still buck-naked. I did my best not to look at him, full stretched out in all his glory as he studied my work. His fingers traced some of the lines before he moved his hand to rub my back reassuringly.

“You’re so good at this, doll.” He murmured, pressing a light kiss to the top of my head before he ducked down to grab my purse, rummaging around for the protein bar he’d insisted he would not eat, because he definitely would not get hungry during this.

----------

When we finished, we both stood back studying it. I’d waited to put too much detail into his face until I got him laughing again. The look on his face as he leaned into laughter, the crinkling in his eyes, it made my heart sing loudly. I wanted to live in that feeling, I wanted to always picture him like that, regal and proud and happy, a man marred by the past, but comfortable in his skin and in his life.

He’d hugged me tight, no words on his lips but a simple, heartfelt thank you, Y/N. That by itself made me infinitely more happy with the piece than any grade I could have received.

He insisted on taking a picture with his phone of the piece, then one of me with the piece, “so he could show off the amazing artist.” To whom he planned on showing me off, I didn’t know. He never ventured from the tower much, didn’t have any friends outside of the Avengers, certainly no one that he would be showing nude drawings of himself to. I posed, a cheesy smile on my face nonetheless. He took me out for ice cream afterwards.

----------

At the end of the semester, the best pieces of art were put on display for an art show. I invited all of the Avengers, but only Steve, Natasha, Bucky and Tony could come, just because missions still had to be completed, the world still needed to be saved.

We rolled up to the campus and Tony looked unceremoniously scandalized by the lack of paparazzi and, well, people. He made a show of going on about some of the more famous art shows he’d attended, then nudged me with his shoulder and gave me a wink that told me everything I needed to hear without saying a word. This isn’t a big deal, you have no reason to be nervous, his smile said as he swaggered towards the art department building.

The display room had been redesigned by some of the interior decorating kids. Pottery, paintings, sculptures and drawings all intermingled through out the room, pieces hung from the walls, the ceiling, sat on stands and stools.

Off in the corner, Stan sat on the same stool the students who had used him as a model drew him on, dressed in nothing but a sock to maintain some semblance of modesty. His aviator style glasses and gray mustache bristled as he talked to patrons and students alike.

“You didn’t tell me there would be nudity at this party. Suddenly, I’m much more interested,” Natasha purred in my ear as she sauntered off to examine some of the abstract art. She were trying.

Avenging was easy, I felt no nerves over that. Art? Art was something that I felt down in my bones and watching as strangers and classmates and the people I cared about most poured over it and the details I’d done my best to capture, that made my throat close and the sweat run like rivers down my skin.

Steve and Bucky both pestered me until I took a picture of them posing with Stan, his arms wrapped around their waists as they both grinned hugely at me. Frat boys tried to convince my boys to go back to their houses with them and party. For a moment, I thought maybe they would.

Tony tried to buy someone’s statue of a naked woman, one delicate foot propped up on a hog-tied bear Captain Morgan style. He said he loved the female-empowerment that radiated off it. He wanted to give it to Pepper. Natasha said no and pick-pocketed his wallet off him, waving it me before she dropped it into her purse.

We all stood before my drawing of Bucky at the same time, all of us coming together to study it. I could feel my heart rate rising the longer no one spoke.

“This is absolutely incredible, Y/N,” Steve finally said. “Your attention to detail is insane.”

“It’s scarily lifelike.” Tony added. “Are you sure you didn’t just take his picture?” It was lighthearted ribbing, and it eased my nerves slightly.

“There’s so much emotion coming from this,” Natasha murmured, lacing her fingers with mine for a moment. “It’s beautiful.”

“That’s it, this calls for a celebration. Where’s the drink service at?” Tony said, looking around pointedly. When the rest disbursed, Bucky remained, staring up at the drawing with admiring eyes.

“It doesn’t even look like me.” He whispered, not looking at me. “It does, but it’s not… it feels surreal. That’s not at all how I ever imagine myself.”

He looked down long enough to slide his metal fingers through mine, holding on tightly. “It’s how I imagine you.” I admitted.

“This is how you see me?” He asked, emotion raw in his eyes. My heart started beating wildly, nervous that I had somehow upset him. He’d seen the drawing a dozen times since I’d finished it, but this was the first time he’d seemed truly moved by it. All I could do was nod. He smiled slightly, squeezing my hand hard. “It helps, knowing someone has so much faith in me.”

I rested my head on his shoulder, not responding.

----------

Tony demanded champagne in the car home. Happy rolled his eyes slightly in the rear view mirror as Tony popped the bottle. Natasha passed around glasses and once we were all served, we clinked our glasses together.

While the ride home was short, it was well spent, all of us laughing and chatting. I was permitted to take my piece home with me. Tony told me he wanted to have it hung up in the tower, framed and celebrated for years to come. He also decided he wanted to commission an oil painting of himself, also nude, but posed the same as the statue he had wanted to buy, bear and all.

Happy and Steve had to escort Tony inside, Natasha following after them lazily, a small, happy smile gracing her lips and lighting up her tired eyes. I wanted to draw her next, but I wanted it to be candid. Something fierce and powerful to remind her of how amazing she was.

“Come with me,” Bucky murmured, startling me out of my admiration of my friends. He offered me his arm and I linked mine through it. We walked up the stairs, but we took it slow, chatting quietly about some of the other pieces that we’d seen at the show that we’d liked and pieces we’d hated or just didn’t get (i.e. female Captain Morgan with the bear). We laughed at chatty Stan who’s sock almost fell off twice, once “accidentally” as Natasha talked to him.

He led me up to the viewing deck, a nice balcony that looked over New York. The lights from the buildings and cars glittered like stars, an entire universe built into one city. Bucky moved his hand to my back and stayed quiet with me, letting me drink in the beauty below me. I could have stayed there forever, the warmth of his skin making me cozy.

“Thank you for being my model.” I mumbled after a long moment of silence.

He nodded, his fingers slowly sliding to my hip. “Since I did you that favor, I was wondering if I might have one in return?”

“Of course, anything.” I nodded, studying the way the windows on the buildings reflected the lights of the buildings around them, making everything infinitely brighter.

“Will you do me the pleasure of going on a date with me?” He asked softly, his lips almost at my ear. Suddenly the city was dull compared the beauty of the intimate moment he’d created between us. I looked up at him and was mesmerized by the way his eyes sparkled, his lips turned up into a smile as he held me closer than I had realized he was holding me.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to remember how to speak. “I said anything, didn’t I?” I replied. It was meant to come out snarky, cool and collected. It came out soft though. Even I could hear the wanting in my voice.

He smiled brilliantly, muting all the lights that twinkled below us, only for a moment as he lowered his mouth to mine, fireworks going off somewhere in the vicinity of our joined lips.

[hardlyfatal]

gary’s writing workshop: lesson 1: kintsugi, or how to make all criticism constructive

The tough thing about writing is that you have to be bold enough to think your work is worth reading by the public, and also have the humility to accept criticism so that you can improve and be better. You need to be strong enough not to crumple like a used tissue when you receive negative feedback.

The primary, inescapable truth about writing: you won't get better until you acknowledge and accept that you need to get better. That's it. If you think your writing is flawless, you're wrong. If you think you've done a perfect job, you're wrong. If you think there's no way it can possibly be improved, you're wrong.

That's not to say it's bad. Just that it's not perfect, that there is always going to be more you can do to tweak it closer to the ideal. To get there, you have to think critically about your work, instead of through a veil of trembling sensitivity and frail ego. You can't be defensive, but approach it with the knowledge that, despite the discomfort or even pain, the process will make you stronger and better. Kintsugi!

There are two kinds of negative feedback, and two classes of people you’ll get it from. The first kind is when something is factually, empirically wrong. Problems with your SPAG1, anachronisms, and continuity fall into this category – there’s no arguing with “you spelled something wrong” and “people in the Middle Ages didn’t say ‘okay’ “ and “in chapter 1 you said X but in chapter 2 you said Y”. Either it happened or it didn’t.

These are valid criticisms and must be considered and addressed. Yes, even if the person saying them is a complete dick and puts it in the cruelest possible terms. Just because they're a cruel dick doesn't mean they're a WRONG cruel dick. The only thing you can do is correct it. I personally tend to thank them, because even if they’ve been dicks, they still did me a favor in pointing out an error. I improved because of them. That’s worthy of thanks. Kintsugi!

The second kind of feedback is subjective, because you’ve failed to satisfy the reviewer’s expectations in some way. Maybe the story’s premise doesn't do it for them. Maybe they hate the trope you've modeled the plot around, or how you're presenting the characters. They think your pacing is too slow and things need to be snappier. Your dialogue is stilted. Maybe they simply don't like your style.

Where things are matters of opinion – and choices of trope, issues of awful dialogue, and dragging plots are opinion – you need to really, honestly look hard at them, without a veil of ego and self-protection keeping you from seeing what's going on. Why would the reviewer say the dialogue is awful, or that the plot drags?2

It could be that what they consider a lagging pace is merely their impatience to get to the payload; they want to see the fight/smut/revelation scene and all the world-building or slow burn romance is no more than dawdling on the way to the fun stuff. OR it could be that you’re rehashing the same shit three times and need a kick in the pants to see that it only needs saying once.3

Regardless of what conclusion you arrive at, you’re going to have aha! moments, bursts of clarity for issues that you couldn’t perceive on your own but needed someone else to present them, or different wording or metaphors or whatever, in order to see what the problem is. These epiphanies can be hard to cope with. You might feel chagrin, disappointment, irritation, even anger. They’re all valid emotions, and you’re allowed to feel them. Just don’t drown in them. Give them a few minutes to run their course, and then move on to address the situation. You don’t have time to mope forever, you’ve got more chapters and stories to write.

On to the classes of reviewers you’ll have. One class is that of your readers. It can be frustrating to receive valuable feedback after you publish. If it’s a SPAG issue or something likewise easily dealt with, it’s NBD – you just make your correction and hope no one else noticed. If it’s something stylistic, you shrug and move on, as not everyone will appreciate your writing ‘personality’.

If it’s structural, however, it can be devastating, because the entire story can hinge on something you have now learned is problematic. It can even kill your inspiration and motivation to continue the story. That happened to me about eight years ago-- someone pointed out a major issue that I had somehow just… missed. I was over 70,000 words into that story and I just couldn’t manage another word of it, after that. Talk about disheartening.

This type of thing is what makes the second class of reviewer, the beta, so incredibly valuable. You should always take seriously any feedback and advice provided by a beta. If you’re lucky, you’ve found someone who isn’t afraid to really give you the business. You want to root out as many problems as possible before you publish. A good beta is worth their weight in smut.

But it’s one thing to cope with the embarrassment you might feel to have a reader point out an error, and coping with that from someone with whom you’ll be having an ongoing relationship. With a reader, you can just take their criticism and apply it and move on; your contact with them will always be somewhat limited so your discomfort is fleeting.

A beta, however, is someone you have to speak to again, at length, after they’re pointed out what a dolt you are (though probably in far nicer language). It can be daunting to continue dealing with someone who has caught you with your pants down, so to speak. Writing can be very self-revelatory, and when we put it out there and it gets pooped on, we can feel vulnerable and rejected.

But… we are not our writing! We are not our plot holes, or our wonky grasp of SPAG, or our tendency to tell rather than show, or our aversion to ‘said’ as a speech tag, or any of the other million problems we can have as writers. When our betas tell us something is wrong with any of these, fortunately, it’s not a statement on our quality as people.

And, just like who we are as people, nothing we write is over and done forever. Everything can be fixed, tweaked, improved. In this digital age, even after publishing, the story isn’t set in stone. We can always nip in there after the fact and tidy up, twitch it into position, repair what isn’t working. Kintsugi! So what is Kintsugi, anyway? And why does it pertain to us? It’s the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. Philosophically used, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object instead of a method of disguising it. The cracks and dings become beauty marks instead of flaws, because of the story they tell.

In terms that mean something to us in particular, it’s Jaime’s stump and/or gold hand. As people who love him in a particular pairing, and are fans of his character in particular, we see the stump and/or prosthesis as a symbol of the agonizing redemption process he has undergone, and how he had to break before he could be fixed.

Similarly, we can approach our flaws with an open heart, as opportunities for growth. We can be eager to find them, because we know we’re going to conquer them and improve because of it. We can breathe through the discomfort and embarrassment knowing we’ll come through it stronger, both as writers and as people.

Example:

Just today, one of my betas, the unsinkable Mikki, came at me with a contention that I was writing Brienne OOC.

(Note: She was her usual lovely self, not hostile at all – this is just a timely example of dealing with subjective criticism and how to consider and absorb it. But do keep in mind the “sometimes even assholes are right” thing from above.)

At first, I thought, “She’s expecting Brienne to be different, but I’m choosing to adapt her for a modern setting, so of course the character won’t be identical to her canonical self.” So I replied that I was writing her differently because, in the modern AU I’m writing, Brienne hasn’t had the same life experiences that, in canon, resulted in her being far more humorless, touchy, self-ashamed, etc.

Mikki replied with a very insightful analysis of how Brienne’s personality was formed, and how those core characteristics can come through in modern-day!Brienne, albeit in a softened format according to the gentler treatment she’s had in my story. I saw immediately that, put this way, Mikki was entirely correct, and that I’d been going about it without enough depth and consistency.

I don’t need to revamp anything drastically, but to add details here and there – mostly just introspective bits that will add to the characterization in the end, and make her feel more Briennelike. These bits won’t be obvious or attention-grabbing, they won’t change the story significantly, but they’ll contribute to the overall quality.

The upshot of this is that Mikki knows she can tell me when she perceives a problem because I'll take her seriously and won't freak out on her. And I feel comfortable not only receiving her critique but also entering into a discussion about it instead of just blindly accepting her advice and accepting when I'm shown the error of my ways.

Homework:

Think about past incidents of negative feedback. If you’ve had criticism given, even in a hostile way, consider that at length. Are you able to brush off the dross and see the gem hidden beneath? Can you discard the rudeness and find the message hidden within it? Focus on the message, not the delivery.

Once you find it, examine it. Is it pointing out a factual error, or is it subjective? If it’s subjective, is it just because you’ve disappointed their expectations, or because there is valid criticism? Write your response out, if you feel that will be helpful to clarifying your thoughts. 

Endnotes:

1 - SPAG = Spelling, Grammar, And Punctuation.

2 - In future lessons, we’ll be going over many topics – among them natural-feeling dialogue and the matter of pacing – in hopes that you’ll have something to compare their criticism to, gaining the ability to discern whether or not you do have problems with these issues or the reviewer is just a crackpot.

3 - Academic writing is nothing like fiction. Many nonfiction writers have problems with this transition, because they’re used to writing an intro to the premise of their article/paper, then describing the subject at length, then summarizing it all into a tidy package. If you’re coming from academic writing, and someone is telling you your pacing needs work, there’s a strong chance the reason is because you’re trying to write persuasively, when your focus as a fiction writer is to write descriptively. You don’t have to persuade the reader of anything, here, just paint a word-picture for them.

© 2019 to me

[stickspoolsclubs]

8 ball pool instant rewards online

Pool has consistently been one of my preferred games. This is just in light of the fact that it is far beyond a game; it is to a greater degree a get-together really. Billiards or Snooker - these are the varieties of the Pool. There is a distinction between the two yet these are essentially pool games. A day or two ago, I asked my teenaged child where he was headed toward and he expeditiously answered that he was set for play a round of pool with his amigos. It helped me to remember my more youthful days when I was an eager pool devotee. Truth be told, I particularly recollect that 8 ball pool lite it is more than one of these rounds of pool, that I met my significant other, Margaret. One of the most mainstream games nowadays among both businessperson and the adolescents is pool or billiards. Be that as it may, frequently you will discover individuals mistaking this for another variety of the game, snooker. I'm going to give you some new pool shooting exercises to rehearse that will assist you with getting more OK with controlling your prompt ball position inside a little objective zone. Nailing a careful situation with the signal ball can be significantly harder than it looks! Players who are simply beginning to find out about how to play pool for fledglings regularly battle to see only the mechanics of controlling the signal ball.

This article will talk about how one can without much of a stretch figure out how to ace the round of pool. With a touch of tutoring and some training, one can be an extraordinary part in a matter of moments. Do you love to play pool, yet loathe that your companions beat 8 ball pool rewards you down constantly? OK prefer to figure out how to play better, so they'll be getting you the beverages? It's not hard, yet it will require a brief period and exertion. It's called pool practice, and it works magnificently. In the event that you follow the straightforward strides beneath you'll turn into a greatly improved player rapidly. Pocket Pool is a moderately fast billiard game that includes putting the balls straightforwardly before the pockets. This article clarifies the reason for Pocket Pool, its guidelines, how it is played, and scoring strategies. What do you need in the method of pool table adornments for your pool room. A few thoughts of the regular frill accessible.

Pool is a round of sovereignty directly from the very first moment and includes cash. It's not as modest a game the same number of others. Not all individuals can bear to get individual tables at their place. The main Expenditure isn't only the pool table however alongside it you likewise require countless essential extras. You can't simply play with a table 3d 8 ball pool having balls on it however you additionally need things like pool capable felt, covers, sticks, chalk, balls, and racks. Some time ago billiard balls were made out of wood, as were most things. It places me as a primary concern of the times of George Washington and his wooden teeth. Be that as it may, as the materials for teeth advanced, so did the materials for billiard balls. Online pool games like snooker and billiards are extraordinary choices for the individuals who need to encounter playing them on a video screen. It is smarter to play these games than burning through your time on interpersonal interaction locales like Facebook and Twitter for thought processes other than business. Virtual pool competitions are so exciting, they test your precision of system, pointing and hitting. Pool Cue Stuff incorporates an assortment of pool frill essential for keeping your pool prompt in great condition. It likewise 8 ball pool pro incorporates a few articles and preparing helps which can help improve your game or help you in your play. At the point when you are hoping to purchase a billiard table, there is something different that you should pay special mind to. The frill that you get for the table are similarly as significant as the table itself. Here are the most significant interesting points additionally getting when your buy a billiard table.

Nearly everybody wants to play pool. There is a major distinction between batting a few balls around at a nearby bar and truly "playing pool". This article will give you a few hints to do the last mentioned. Have you generally admired the bosses of pool like Davies, Reyes, Rodney and other such worldwide players? I am certain you couldn't want 3d ball pool anything more than to figure out how to play simply like them and potentially turn expert! Presently you can change your aptitudes for nothing, from the solace of your home, whenever you wish, with a wide assortment of testing electronic pool games. I was having a grown-up drink with a companion of mine the other night when the conversation of pool came up. I was, for more than 10 years in the APA; The American Poolplayers Association, and an ardent pool shooter. Thus, he was informing me regarding how his sibling had a table in his cellar and... well that is a finished story unto itself... So it got me to considering how I used to place the 8-Ball in on the break 1 out of multiple times and how that may be of some enthusiasm to somebody.

Coin Operated Pool Tables are perfect for having a fabulous time through pool games, to engage your family, companions and children. These pool tables are utilized on business lines and are dependent upon a permit. Bars and entertainment settings in country or urban territories offer to their guests the energy and the sportsmanship of a well known table-played game, called pool or billiard. Need to be an incredible pool player? It's simpler than you might suspect once you comprehend the 3 stages to an extraordinary break. This article gives all the stunts and tips you have to get it going. A great many people see pool games as having gazed just in the ongoing past. In any case, they can be followed back to the old occasions where they were played by lords and most ordinary citizens. Billiards, another term that can be utilized to allude to them, started from Croquet. This game 8 ball pool download apk was played by in France as ahead of schedule as in the fifteenth Century. Different individuals additionally played it in Northern Europe. The Doodle Pool application for iPhone is a fascinating blend of silly designs and billiards, the two of which are progressively well known. Yet, the part is, this iPhone application costs nothing to download and utilize!

There are some key contrasts in the hardware utilized for pool and billiards. As a starting level part in any of the two 8 ball cash tournaments games, you should find out about these distinctions to buy the correct gear. There are a few very surprising varieties while sorting out pool competitions, each with their own standards. It is the gamers want with regards to which they like. It's suggested be that as it may, that each member know about at least the three most normal varieties, being 9-Ball, Eight-Ball and Minimize Throat.

[peloriq]

HRT diary - Day 6 - Sep 29 2019

Should have written this stuff out sooner but, I figured there wasn’t really any rush!

I’m a genderless trans masc enby.

For the past 6 days I have been applying 50 mg of testosterone cream to my inner thigh in the morning before I get dressed. I used H-E-B’s compounding pharmacy and got a 90 day supply for $40.

I should note the other medications I’m on I suppose - 80 mg/day of Straterra, a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor for treating ADHD, and Blisovi FE for oral contraceptive. I’m hoping to get off the contraceptive and get a copper IUD at some point. The Straterra recently increased in dose, which may throw a wrench in my ability to notice emotional/energy changes from the T - drat! That being said, I was on a low dose of Straterra for a month and a half or so before starting the testosterone and didn’t feel all that different. I’m hoping it won’t affect my experience significantly.

So far I have only noticed one difference, and it came on faster than I expected: a change in appetite. I have been waking up hungry. This hasn’t happened in years. This was particularly surprising because, at the same time, Straterra has caused me a lot of nausea, and my weight is kind of down right now as a result, around 139 from my typical 146. Seems to be that eating plenty of food is helps the nausea a lot.

There’s another difference I’m not sure about, and will have to keep an eye on - seems like my pores are already becoming more visible. Nothing too bad yet though, and no more acne than usual. I’ve been extra thorough about keeping washed. We have all pillowcases in the house cycling through the wash pretty much constantly right now. I do NOT want the acne.

The feature I most desire to change is my voice, so that’s the one I’ll be trying to measure most consistently with each update. I use a shitty free iPhone app called Voice Pitch Analyzer. It averages the hz of a minute of material read aloud and recorded and assigns you a gender based on range like so:

I don’t expect this to be like... an accurate analysis. I have no idea what data it’s basing these labels on or how the pitch analysis works, but it seems to at least score me about the same each time I take it, which is androgynous leaning towards male. I also understand that I probably read in a pretty forced way. Ok. As long as it’s measuring *something* with *consistency*, I can get the info I need out of it, which is whether I’m changing. This is something I’d like to measure somehow but not spend money on, so if any of you have app or method suggestions besides just, recording myself and listening to it over and over, let me know.

I am trying not to read to hard into any of the giddiness I feel this early on. I’m still expecting to really ask myself how I feel and if I like how I feel 2 weeks from now - that’s when I expect to actually notice *something*. For now though, I’m getting a ton of delight just from the fact that I’m finally here, doing it, inspecting my chin, testing my voice, comparing the selfies. It’s happening!

[sparda3g]

Kimetsu no Yaiba Chapter 183 Review

“What goes around, comes around” is a phrase Muzan should have taken it seriously. With the Pillars gathering and the shifting platform in favor of Yushiro, it’s all biting back hard. The battle is not formatted completely with some of the missing key players, and yet, it has been exhilarating so far. If this is the finale, it will end with a bang.

Before stepping into the action, the chapter’s cover showcase an elsewhere scene. While Tanjiro and others are battling, we see Kanao, Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Murata roaming around as the platform begins to shift. Actually, it’s literally the next scene after the last chapter; a real-time moment. At least they are fine, though it’s comical with Zenitsu losing his mind and Inosuke going all Pig Assault. It’s a quick reminder that they are still behind, but eventually, will reunite with Pillars. We don’t know when, but that’s the element of surprise. I can’t wait.

The platform changes multiple times like some sort of a video game stage level. As if I wasn’t happy enough to see Kanroji again last time, there’s more panel time to behold. This time, she loses her mind over what’s happening. It finally hits her that Muzan is one scary demon. She’s so out of whack, she thought she will die just from shock. Hilariously, she wishes for Himejima to get there already; described in a goofy image. I like how she sees them in parody state, including Yushiro, who she described him as forever bitter. Her expressions and thoughts are enough to satisfy me for this chapter’s content.

A flashback kicks in to show how Yushiro deployed his plan in motion. What had me laughing badly is how Kanroji accepted his trust despite being a demon. All Yushiro said was he is on their side and unless she is a moron, she’ll understand what he say and cooperate. It’s the fact she believes she is not a moron, so with that logic, she trusts him. That’s hilarious. Once he explained his plan, she was amazed by his convenient capability, like “Oh my God! That’s badass!” Her expressions are too much. She’s too much. The anime-only fans have no idea what they are missing.

Back in present, she title drop, “Clash of Wills,” insinuating the battle will largely focus on Muzan versus Yushiro; something I didn’t think I would ever say. That said, it’s up to her and the rest to interfere Muzan, so Yushiro can take them outside. As her expression would say while barely escaping death, easier said than done. I know she is scared out of her mind, but I will beg to the end of time for Croc-sensei not to kill her off. Remember, her death leads to the series’ demise. Yeah, I said it.

Although the action from Slayers are riveting here, I was shockingly more compelled to Muzan versus Yushiro. It’s not done in physical combat, but rather a mind game; perhaps, no pun intended. Even from far distance, Muzan can harm or kill Yushiro with another tactic. Using Nakime’s body, he absorbs his cells to break him down. Clever move if I have to be honest. It’s actually pretty intense with those two trying to regain control; with those two roaring no less. Who said action only resort to clashes.

One thing I have to credit Croc-sensei is the use of fodder characters. Although they are designed to be, well, fodders, whether it is for hype buff or demonstration of horror, they at least have good intention and hardly come off like fools. Case in point, this one Slayer is guarding Yushiro, but realized he is hurt. He then insist to sacrifice his life to feed him for health restore, but got turned down. It’s a small moment, but moment like that is a nice detail to keep their credibility as a unit consistent. They are willing to die by any means necessary. I salute that man; it wouldn’t hurt to spare his life.

Muzan is getting distracted by Pillars. So cool to see two Breathing Forms in action. This increases the chances for Yushiro; that is until Muzan shifts his plan from killing him to killing Nakime. That is insane. He is willing to stop anything, even resorting to kill an Upper Moon. We know he’s no stranger on friendly fire, if you can even call it that, but that’s just playing desperate. With that said, it increased the tension significantly; practically inserted a time limit. It’s a rush that won’t stop.

The platform continuously shifts until it sends the Pillars outside. The eerie moment is when they landed on the ground with plenty of corpses; ones that Muzan has killed recently. What a morbid sight for Tanjiro; bloody and tons of limbs. They would have to battle on it. It’s as if Mortal Kombat creator designed this level; it’s cool honestly, but eerie nonetheless.

The action grows intense with the countdown and survival. Tanjiro continues to take a hit, this time on the back. That looked brutal; it’s painful to say the least. My heart skipped a beat or two when Kanroji comes too close to death with Muzan’s claw or whatever draws near to her face. Tanjiro throws a sword right at Muzan’s head; ultimately saves her. It’s one of the most satisfying head-shot moment I have seen and I play video games.

Tanjiro has become MVP for that amazing toss and saving the most wonderful woman in the world. Satisfying to know Kanroji’s prediction to die here is incorrect. What’s also satisfying is that Tanjiro used a fallen Slayer’s broken sword to strike Muzan. I see it as a tribute and honor their sacrifice, like “This one is for the fallen!” Remarkable stuff. On top of all that, they killed enough time to finally break through the castle; they have seen the moonlight.

This was an exhilarating chapter. Kanroji was just hilarious with her comical reactions, past or present. Yushiro continue to be awesome, and his battle against Muzan was exciting. The action was riveting with fun and tensed sequences. Lastly, Tanjiro grasped MVP award with that amazing sword toss. We need a new popularity poll to show why he is a great protagonist. The cliffhanger shows a promising light for they are gaining closer to defeat Muzan. It won’t be long now before it is high noon.

[comicteaparty]

February 26th-March 3rd, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from February 26th, 2020 to March 3rd, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What generally makes the pacing of a comic too fast or too slow for you?

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

My favourite comic style are those large sized, panel and dialogue heavy European comic books, line Blacksad and Asterix. Since every 80 page book tells a complete story, every page is progressing the plot significantly, and the whole thing is pretty compressed and the rate splash page has an impact you don’t get in a more lose, decompressed comic. I love that kind of stuff and I look for similiar pacing in webcomics - heavier on the dialogue but without choking the art, low on wordless scenes (they tend to make me skim), taut and tight story-telling, every page asks and answers a question. I know it‘s a matter of taste and got told more than once that I am too dumb for comics because I don‘t have the patience to read through six pages of wordless, plotless mood-setting; but eh - that kind of stuff just doesn‘t work for me. I firmly believe comic‘s big enough a field that mood pieces and tightly plotted stuff can happily co-exist and find their own readership. I‘m just gonna be in the „plot, all the time!“ corner.

sagaholmgaard

The a comic starts focusing on minor characters that don't hold much importance for the plot I'll find it to be wayy too drawn out. While One-Punch Man is one of my favorite comics, some fights are pretty unimportant for the overarching plot, focusing only on random small-fry heroes fighting random small-fry monsters and it's just... a million action panels for be too read through while waiting for the main cast to return (this turned out to be pretty specific, oops!)

Ash🦀

Honestly, coming from a writing/literature background, I feel that most comics are too fast-paced for me;; I love the slow build up, it makes everything much more rewarding at the end, and the mood-setting that just lets you breathe and stare at the page, yes, a thousand times yes. I guess this is why I don’t like reading or writing actions scenes... so fast-paced and they feel more like “this is action for interesting action and the hero needs exp and not because it’s a necessary battle” ;; but this is more of a personal preference than anything, and... yeah, I definitely blame the books I used to read xD

Capitania do Azar

I'm a little confused with the filler concept introduced here, given that most webcomics are made by individuals (not teams)... What would they even be filling for? I think it's fair to talk about less interesting b-plots or when the scenes are focused on characters we don't like as much, but I would hardly call anything a single artist decided it was worth enough to spend hours drawing by their volition "filler"

As for the pacing question, it is sometimes hard to combine the two facets of webcomics: that they're published on a page-to-page basis but they are often read in bulk, when digging through archives. I don't know if it's possible to find the perfect balance between these two, which makes it possible to think that certain scenes are too slow (oh no, we've been at this wedding for three months now!) but when read in the archive are suddenly too fast... I think breathing room is necessary every now and then, even for faster-paced comics.

RebelVampire

I think you need to consider that just because an artist doesn't see something as filler, doesn't mean readers won't. I've known a lot of comics where the creator created a scene that they loved, but in the bigger scheme of things it served absolutely no purpose to the plot and felt super out of place

So while the filler wasn't intentional as a "I need filler", to the readers it comes off as filler

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I like long paced, slow- burn type stories where there is an obvious carefully crafted plot with each stitch placed intentionally for a bigger reveal and payoff. Much how i like any relationship shown in stories, i love it when an author almost makes readers work for that payoff. It makes the re-read value go way up, and to catch on to the subtle nuances of plot reveal on the second or third go at the story is very rewarding both as a writer and reader!

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

You can easily have slow burn relationships in a faster paced comic. I actually like that better, because that usually requires the characters to have actions and interests outside of the relationship of interest, which leads to more well rounded characters.

A good example is the novel Clockwork Boys and it‘s follow up - slowburn romance, and while the characters figured THAT one out, they solved a huge mystery.

renieplayerone

Im a big fan of stories that are able to turn the pacing up to 11 on a dime without it getting old or lowering the stakes at all. It takes such talent to be able to tell compelling stories with high flying action at the same time, so I appreciate anyone that can manage that balance

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

My personal approach to writing pacing is that each page has to do at least two of three: further the plot, introduce/deepen story-relevant world building, deepen the characterisation. I aim for all three at once; if there‘s only two, there better be a good reason to keep that scene around, if there‘s only one, it gets cut and/or merged with another one. Eg. I have a scene where the character cook (food‘s relevant because there‘s a famine) and a scene where they argue about their plans, those can easily be combined.

Some scenes are still slower or faster than others, but they all matter to the story.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Def agree with Renie on that point too!

Ash🦀

Chalcara makes a good point too, and it’s something I definitely try to keep in mind in my own pages. I try to answer a question and ask another with my pages and pull as much double duty as I can wrench out of it. Now, whether I succeed every time? Absolutely not. But this is a good reminder when I’m going back to edit issue 3- keep the push and pull of questions and answers in mind.

RebelVampire

Ok so at this point I do want to jump in and remind people that as per Rule #1, this chat should mostly be about your experiences as a reader vs. your experiences as a creator. So just want to make sure the convo doesn't delve too far into that realm.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

My answer to this question is very much based on specific situations in comics. Pacing is SUCH a complex thing, and it's not always easy to see the impact in the grand scheme of things. To make a story seem too slow to me, a few things have to happen: the pages/ panels don't further the plot, don't deepen the characters/world-building, or the tension remains consistent for too long. Coming from a theatre background, I sometimes like to refer to this idea as beats. I focus a lot on the importance of every line having purpose. If a character says something, and it doesn't add anything to the experience, then perhaps the dialogue shouldn't be there at all. Or if a panel without dialogue doesn't add anything to the reader experience, the same thing applies. There should be no wasted space. Honestly, I am kind of a sucker for slow build-up (as long as there is actually build-up at all). So I'm not against slow-burn stories. To me, slow-burn shouldn't feel like it's dragging along, or like "nothing is happening," which is a common trap stories fall into. But we as readers need to see those slow moments in order to understand the fast moments too. Which brings me onto pacing that is too fast... Honestly, this is a much bigger problem to me personally. There is this influx in fiction of wanting to have the quickest jump into the action at the beginning of the story, and it always makes me want to stop reading. If the writer doesn't want to have ANY exposition at all or introduce the characters in any meaningful way, how am I as a reader going to give a shit about the characters? That's pretty much an instant story-killer to me. I don't mind if characters are introduced as we go, but completely glossing over them in favor of the biggest explosions never keeps my attention. All in all, I read comics (and fiction in general) for the human experience (which doesn't mean that your characters must be human, lol, fantasy and sci-fi writers).

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

@chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa] Thank you for mentioning that comics are big enough to accommodate all kinds of tastes. What I find to be too fast might be just right or even too slow for another person, and honestly, it's all valid.

FeatheryJustice

I like a coherent story. It doesn't matter if it is slow paced because I get to absorb the information. I don't mind if it is fast paced as long as I can understand it. If the story itself doesn't make sense because you want a slow paced story with weird inserts in the middle, you have lost me. If your story is too fast to the point of skipping scenes and details you lost me.

spacerocketbunny

I love slow building stories with larger payoff. Making sure that characters are fleshed out and given the chance to breathe while still facilitating the plot is a tricky thing to pull off but I've definitely seen it happen in comics like Shaderunners, TINF and Tiger Tiger for example. Shaderunners does an incredible job of showing a multifaceted inner conflict with characters while never missing a beat with super fun and high stake heists. TINF is one of my favourite romance stories that carefully builds up and constructs the characters and their feelings for each other while still maintaining that significant information on every page. Tiger Tiger is a slower paced story but keeps me on the edge of my seat every update. Petra utilizes space beautifully and I never feel like there's a need for condensing on pages. I boost these comics a lot but I personally find that pacing is a huge factor in my enjoyment for a comic, and I love these ones so much bc they suit my preference quite well!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There was a Korean professional webcomic (on Naver, though I don't think it ever got officially brought over to Webtoons) that I read, that had this interesting situation: seemingly fast pacing, very high tension, yet slow. It was a thriller that pitted a serial killer against the surviving wife of his latest victim. Once she got an inkling who the killer was, the tension skyrocketed, and it was a big game of chase. Problem was the chase part. It LOOKED fast paced if you just looked at like, one chapter of it. But they kept repeating the same scenario, just flavored differently. It was a rinse-and-repeat of this: "the wife found a new evidence; now everyone will believe her!" "oh no, the killer is about to catch her!" "the new evidence is lost" "wife finds another new evidence" etc. (It's been a while and my memory may not be accurate, but the idea is there) Nothing really changed throughout the repeated cycles. So yeah, repetition can be a problem.

Capitania do Azar

Haha, @keii’ii (Heart of Keol) I understand your frustration, but I feel like that kind of story is just aimed at a different audience... It almost feels like watching an episodic Tv show where everything has to come back to the starting point by the end of each episode

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

That is certainly a type with its own audience. Though if that's what they were going for, they probably could've benefitted from a different way of starting the story so readers would've known what they were in for. And there were lots of things that really felt like could have gone somewhere, but never did.

Hmm, I guess that's another thing that could affect how pacing is perceived: loose threads?

RebelVampire

IDK I think there's a difference between something being episodic and something being annoyingly repetitious. For example, Detective Conan is arguably episodic. Each situation in the larger scheme of things is largely the same: Crime happens -> There are red herrings and twists -> Conan solves it. As a mystery comic, it's never gonna deviate from that formula. But if literally every crime had the basic same plot flow, like if the red herrings and twists were the same everytime, then it ceases to be episodic and just becomes bland and repetitive.(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

OH and speaking of Korean webcomics, I wanna talk about a pacing-related concept that gets brought up a lot in their comment sections: yam vs sprite (they call it "cider" bu they really mean sprite/ 7-up). Baked yam is a common wintertime treat. It fills you up, it's delicious. But it's notorious for making you thirsty. It kind of clogs up & dries up your throat. Whereas sprite is a thirst quencher. So, the idea is you can't eat yams forever. You need sprite to balance it out. Yams are a metaphor for frustrating build-ups. There is a sense that you (and/or the protagonist) are being wronged. e.g. It's a sports comic, and the leader of the opposing team keeps trash talking, even cheats and gets away with it. Sprite is a metaphor for satisfaction. In the same sports comic example, the arrogant, cheating leader finally gets what they deserve. Most stories need its share of yams. But if the yam portion of the story goes on for too long, the comment section will be filled with "where's my sprite!!!" "I feel like I ate 1,000 yams and now REALLY need some sprite" etc.

spacerocketbunny

Ahh that's an interesting concept!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

There are certainly stories that are big piles of yams by design. But I think when done well, readers who like a lot of sprite can tell what it is, and walk away pretty early on. So those comics attract readers who are into piles of yams.

(Of course, there's always gonna be That One Person who walks into a yam party and loudly demands a 5-gallon bottle of sprite... )

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

In that case, I definitely avoid yams! No matter how much I love a character or cast, I tend to go crazy if we stay in one location too long, or in one slow storyline for too many pages, or if I find myself going "COME ON, DO IT, DO THE THING, WE KNOW YOU'RE GONNA." To me, something new should happen on every page, even if it's a tiny plot progression or a tidbit of character info. I very much appreciate when a story takes time to breathe - and I find it's those quiet, cute, or slightly-unnecessary moments that are most memorable when I think of a comic - but too much of that will make me fidgety. I really need alternating paces to be happy.

kayotics

I think for me, it’s easier for a comic to go too slow than too fast. I’ve definitely seen comics go too fast, but the slow pace is more frustrating for me. What makes a comic slow for me are a few things: too MUCH focus on atmosphere (like multiple hand shots that don’t have dialogue), repeated events, too much buildup for an event, and the last thing is technical ability (like speech bubbles that are too large or in vertical scroll comics the panels being way too far apart). I’m pretty ok with letting things breathe, and I actually love that, but I need something to keep my interest, and those things above don’t do it.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I don't think yams are about repetition, though it can certainly involve repetition. It could be a new level of frustration on every page, revealing something new about the characters. But those would still be yams.

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm also of the mind that its way easier for comics to go too slow than too fast. However, I think that its also really easy for a comic to introduce too many things too fast, without giving me the time to get to know anyone (contradictory, I know, hear me out) I think a lot of comics will start in a boring setting, before the initial action. It takes a very long time to ramp up to the ACTUAL story, because they want to get me to a baseline of knowledge before we get to all the action. This is really slow though because essentially nothing is actually happening, plot wise, and I think that the creators know this and so they try to do it all as fast as possible, so by the time we get to the action there are 10 characters and a ton of lore I don't actually know.... So I think there are two kinds of pacing, the actual plot/events of a story, and the introduction of new ideas. For me, the plot/events need to be relatively fast, but the introduction of ideas needs to be slow. I can't start a story with 6 people, it will feel too fast no matter what, and I can't start a story with slow action or it will feel like it's dragging. I don't know if this makes sense or not

kayotics

I think I agree with that pretty wholeheartedly. I want a comic to get me into the action pretty quickly, but introduce new characters and concepts slowly. Give me, like... 3 characters tops to start with.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, too slow AND too fast is definitely a possibility!

kayotics

Fantasy and sci-fi are both genres that can fall into that trap easily, and I think the comics that bring me into the world building best is the ones that don’t explain things IMMEDIATELY, but explain things over time as I need to know them

Deo101 [Millennium]

^ yes I feel this too. I think there is also a certain respect for a readers ability to suspend their disbelief that is oftentimes not taken into account... I think that, for the most part just being told something exists is fine, and learning how it works is what needs to take time. But, a lot of stories may try to justify things existing, which feels like overexplaining

kayotics

It’s like explaining why trees exist. Sometimes they just... do. I don’t question why they’re there

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Agreed, I think stories set in the real world have the advantage of starting with a bang, without much need for explanation - there's always a need for some explanation upfront in a fantasy/sci-fi setting, even if it's done through visual shorthand. You don't need to overexplain, but you definitely have to explain... more. Or at least make it abundantly clear that A) this is a different world, B) this is the general event that's happening, and C) this is how you should feel about it, even without living in that world.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yes exactly I feel like I see it most commonly in scifi/fantasy, like you said, where someone wants to explain why their magic exists immediately. This will sound rude but at this point I don't care why it exists, maybe way later you can tell me but I don't care when I'm only just starting .. it feels like reading someone's worldbuilding essay idk

kayotics

Yeah... that’s definitely a thing that can affect pacing negatively. I don’t need a world building essay on how the magic works right away. As long as the logic is consistent in magic I’ll figure it out as a reader. Then you can explain details later and I’ll be into it.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah cause later on it feels like connecting dots, almost like revealing the answer to a mystery

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Yes yes! I love that sense that as a reader, you're being trusted to learn - not so much that you're being fed information, but that you're given enough to put the pieces together. Even done slowly, it's very satisfying.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I like my storys with some unexplained mysteries. I mean, how many people know exactly how the internet works, and yet we use it daily? Dumping down a dissertation on how x works more often than not kills pacing for me.

kayotics

I think it can be done well to keep the pacing going, but it needs to be combined with something. Sometimes you need to provide that info dump so the story keeps working

I can’t pinpoint any exact scenes but I seem to remember Gunnerkrigg Court doing that pretty well. There’s a lot of unusual concepts in that story that need to be explained, but it usually doesn’t feel like a slog

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah for sure. I do think it can also be used either in tandem with or as an instigator to moving things forward, if done right. Its not illegal to reveal information about the world

I think people tend to do this kind of thing better with Characters than the world. Because with Characters, we want to get to know them and this comes more naturally, but with worldbuilding... It often feels like worldbuilding should be a baseline knowledge rather than also a storytelling element I guess

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

One thing that really annoys me with pacing is when a single story beat that should be relatively simple takes way too long in real time. Like in one comic I read, the villains tell the heroes to urgently meet them at some location. And, like, the heroes are talking back and forth, deciding who they should send and such. But, like... it's been six months, and they still haven't left the house yet. I guess the urgency feeling is probably there if you're binging the comic? But, it really doesn't encourage me to follow along with the comic if it's such a slow read. I'm not saying that these sorts of authors need to update faster, but if your update rate is to the point where it takes months to finish an urgent conversation, maybe some things should be cut out? Or they should at least be walking out the door while they're talking? I guess it's just sort of a general "something should happen each page" thing though. Like if the conversation is just going in circles, there's really no need for it, and it can be annoying to follow along when it's seemingly so urgent.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I know it's not the same thing, but that reminded me of all the gaming comic strips out there that poke fun at "it's final dungeon time, the stakes are higher than ever, and the player spends the next 80 hours completing the minigames"

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I have a rule that if any piece of dialogue isn't either directly advancing the plot, giving the reader new information about the characters speaking, or is funny, it should be cut

Definitely agree with what people have said, that big infodumps right off the bat are not enjoyable. I honestly don't ever want the author to sit me down and explain something to me. It's much more interesting to see parts of the worldbuilding in action, or to see things that arent explained and have to theorize about what it is or how it works before the mechanics behind it are shown

Capitania do Azar

I very much second that notion, @sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) , that's my rule of thumb when I'm writing

Deo101 [Millennium]

I have a similar rule with my pages, but with dialogue I like to have more fluff so we feel like we're spending a bit more time with them

Capitania do Azar

if the info is not something I need the reader to know (and character development is) then what's the point of forcing myself to draw more stuff

but @Deo101 [Millennium] , fluff IS character ;D

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah! But it's not always new information is all

You gotta reestablish stuff, let some things marinate, and repeat things for them to really settle in I think, so it can't ALWAYS be new stuff, even if the page as a whole is introducing something new. I mean usually you can do it alongside other stuff but yeah

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I think sometimes it's the same for the characters. e.g. The same characters can have multiple conversations about the same topic, but their understanding/ feelings toward the topic can change as things marinate.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah for sure

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Meaningful conversations where you get to know the character’s personality would fall in the 2nd category

Sometimes its hard to judge whether dialogue will be interesting to someone who’s unfamiliar with the characters

Shadowmark Productions

Someone once told me that dialogue should reveal character and action reveals plot. If done correctly, both work in tandem to advance the story without exposition. I’ve found that to be very useful.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Ooh. True!

mirandalorian

That's a good way to put it. And it seems like that idea is pretty important in comics.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I think it's 100% fine if dialogue isn't interesting to people unfamiliar with the characters -- as long as it's compelling to people who have been reading from the beginning?

I live for the kind of scenes where like... character A just smiles... it's an ordinary smile to people who don't know A, but it means the world to people who know the context and the character

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Action can reveal character too

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I‘d say it‘s even more important, I for starters love characters that say one thing and do another; it‘s a good way to show conflict!

(Inner conflict, I mean)

RebelVampire

For me whether I think the pacing is too fast or too slow are actually two different things. In regards to finding the pacing too slow, I generally base this on a character's progress for their goals. While I like to see characters face setbacks and don't expect everything to be solved immediately, I expect some progress to be had. So if I wind up reading a comic and it's basically taking more than 100 pages for any progress to be made in the protagonist's goal and growth, that's just way too slow for my personal tastes. It kind of just ruins my investment in their goal since it doesn't feel like they're actually working on it, and that kind of defeats the point of a goal. In a similar but different vein, pacing is too fast for me if the comic never stops to breathe to exposit or showcase character emotions. Obviously, expositing a whole bunch is bad, and you don't want to take 20 pages to show a character crying. However, these moments where you take a step back and say "Hey look this character is struggling and here is a hint of their backstory" are super important for creating a bond between the reader and the characters. Without them, it just feels like you're sprinting from Plot Point A to Plot Point B. In relation to this, another element that would make it too fast is if characters are getting over things way too fast because plot is to be had. When something emotional happens, such as a character dies, I should still be able to feel those affects much later even if its not at the forefront. Of course, these are clearly just to my personal tastes, which pacing generally is a subjective thing in most cases.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

For sure that thing about needing space after emotional events

not a webcomic but some of my favorite parts of One Piece are the crew goofing off after ever major arc

I feel like webcomics can fail at this sometimes, because things that feel tediously slow when writing week -by-week can feel fast when read back all at once

[countjason]

Jason’s 9th Annual Post/Pre-Year Review/Goal

It’s that time of year again, the only reason I have a tumblr account is this annual reflection and goal setting exercise I do each year.  This represents the 9th year I’ve done this in some form or fashion so let’s kick off the goals from last year and where I stand:

Get a new job – This one is important since 90% of my waking existence is at a job.  If I’m not happy there, it’s too my core and I’m not happy in general.  I wish I was better in this area since Caitlin works in the funeral business and has a better appreciation toward the little things but it’s still a thing since it is 90% of my waking life and I’ve worked since I was 16 yrs old.   I would obviously like to get paid what I feel I’m deserved too – not just get a job to get away from another job.  

(Accomplished) – As I recall, this was 90% expected to be achieved at the time I wrote last year’s goals since I was actively looking but this happened REALLY early in 2019.  I remember trying to get a raise as a program manager at Aero Simulation Inc after being a project scheduler (most…boring…job…ever!) and being told I need at least 10 years’ experience in the simulation industry before even being considered.  They handed me an annual raise, sent me off on the 2-week shutdown vacation and the wife and I went to Ashville.  

Upon my return, I got notified that I was hired to start at Smartronix – this hands down was the best timing and possibly the best move I have ever made.  I’m so happy working at Smartronix and working as a real program manager after what felt like an eternity working at places and either doing lesser jobs, jobs I didn’t have any interest in doing all for the sake of paying for my family, being bored to tears, or underappreciated and under paid.  

Vacations – I have a cruise planned in May which is almost paid for and I would like to eventually go to Las Vegas.  I wouldn’t want to go to Vegas without a little money in my pocket, but we’ll see.  I also have the Bristol night race in August which represents the final bucket list race I could want to do with my Dad.  Does that mean I’m done after Bristol? Probably not but I could certainly wish my Dad off should he die knowing I got him there, Talladega, Daytona, Homestead, and Atlanta.

(Accomplished) – I did go on the cruise and that was fun.  It would have been better with the drink package which is just a lesson’s learned for cruising next time but it was a fun experience considering I missed cruises in the past.  I did not go to Vegas and that’s still a hard sell with my wife considering she doesn’t want to go as much as I do.  Maybe I can convince her one day considering all the other vacations we’ve had that were compromises.  

Bristol was everything I expected and more.  

Adam told me that Dad wasn’t doing so well and this race, in all likelihood, represents the last race I go with Dad.  So for this, I booked suites which was the best!  I think Dad and Adam were happy.

School – I got a long way to go for a DBA but I’d like to get the main classes started in 2019.  I gotta wait until money isn’t so tight or there are options like tuition assistance but I’d like to get started in that.

(Failed) – This goal trailed off early after it became apparent I had to still pay for Caitlin’s school.  Now, to be clear, that’s not the only reason, I was sorta going down the DBA route at first because it was something to do since I was getting bored but may get at it again in the future just not now.  I don’t really have a pressing reason for a DBA career wise and there are other fish I could fry which I’ll discuss shortly but let’s put it this way, what I am about to do to cure my boredom is not something my wife is thrilled about….

Find more friends – A lot of my friends 8 years ago I don’t really relate to now.  I’m simply not the same person. Those people, in most cases, are the EXACT same people and we don’t relate.  Going back to 90% of my day with work, I need to find work friends but certainly not at my current job where everyone I work with me is 20 years older than me or are unsociable.  I mean it can’t get any worse than now where I have a co-worker literally 5 feet behind me and insist to communicate primarily through email.  Even if it’s not “work” friends, I need friends that have the same goals, likes, and what not.  That’s why I like people like Eric or James– they have ambition in areas I like today. I still need to find a NASCAR buddy too but that’s surprisingly hard.

(Failed) – I wouldn’t say I gained more friends.  I have the same friends as I previously did and while I get along with people I work with, I wouldn’t go so far as considering them “friends”  

Health – Anyone that says getting older doesn’t suck can blow me.  I know less than 5 years ago, I could run in the morning and had gym buddies which motivated me.  Granted I was walking around like I was crippled half the time afterward, but it was fun.  I really don’t have that same motivation these days.  I still go to the gym periodically but not as I used too.  I joke about my fat head so maybe in 2019, I’ll find that extra gas in the tank and while I’ve accepted not being 180 lbs again, maybe just looking better which will make me feel better as well.  

(Not accomplished but not failed) – I would say it’s improving. Since the wife got pregnant and she had to stop drinking, to support her, I did the same and already lost 20 lbs. I’m pretty sure the rate I’m going I’ll lose another 20lbs by May so while my health improved, early this year, I really didn’t try that hard and my weight reached a point where I started to become self-conscience. This goal always ends up on my list and will likely again.

Financially working in the right direction – To get my house, I had to use retirement money.  To fix the carpet that got destroyed in Caitlin’s library, I had to use more.  I have quite a bit of old debt and new debt that is higher than I like but there’s always been this assumption that I’m just waiting for the right job to pay me what I deserve, AND Caitlin will finally pull her weight since I support her. Once one or both those things happen, we will be able to work off that debt and maybe see the chances of retirement….eventually.  

(Accomplished) – The new job helped out SIGNIFANTLY!  I finally am getting paid what I’m deserved and as such, I feel much better financially.  I still have some debt to pay off and Caitlin is STILL in school but overall, this goal has moved rather well for the things I can do and control.

Potentially Move? – Given the job prospects, I’ve been looking at opportunities to leave Florida. I am so over “hot, humid, high of 100” every-freakin-day.  Part of the upcoming North Carolina trip is to expose Caitlin to the cold. If she tolerates it, the option to move up north is more present. I mean hell, our house is an igloo anyway.  Even still talking about moving north, moving east in Florida has the same possibilities. I know 2019 may be too soon given the dependency I have with Caitlin but given the right situation, it’s entirely possible.

(Failed but…) – With the new job and it being in Tampa, I did not move.  Don’t get me wrong, I still hate the “hot, humid, high of 100” every day but the current salary and baby situation (more on that), changes things a lot.  

Help Caitlin – I could jokingly say “well this is a huge project” but I don’t mean it like that.  She’s been fighting her demons and I’ve been helping.  I would also foresee myself assisting in her passing her classes and exams she needs to take but that’s really all on her and if she asks for it. In all, I just hope to continue to be a good(ish) role-model and help when I can.

(Accomplished…I guess) – Depends on who you ask.  While I did try to help her study from time to time, it wasn’t consistent and it really was something Caitlin should address more than me.  With drinking and the baby, I stopped drinking, as I said, to support and help and I think that’s helping her as well.

Iracing – 2 more to 10…geez, we’re hitting the bottom of the barrel now.  This is just a hobby, be it an expensive hobby I built up, but I hope to continue doing well in the game and not get bored with it lol.  It’s just too expensive to not.

(Failed) – I play it but I haven’t played it like I think I meant to with this goal in mind.  I did get bored with some of it but not for the lack of desire to race, on the contrary, it made me want to race for real.  

House Upgrades – I would like to upgrade the floors in the man cave and the bedroom in 2019.  

This is a lot of work and shifting of things since I have the master bed which is huge in one room and the racing rig and desk in the other.  I have the supplies sitting in the corner collecting dust waiting to be done, but I would need to shift so much around to do it, I’ve told myself it can only be done if we move.  We’ll see, not putting a lot of hope in this one but it’s number 10 on the list.

(Accomplished) – I did complete the floor in the man cave and the bedroom.  

***

Now for 2020 goals and this one has significantly different legs than the last couple years.  

Be a good dad – That’s right all, after 38 years of life, the wife and I decided to become parents.  

At the time of writing this, my wife is 10 weeks pregnant and we’re expecting “baby bat” in July 2020.  We won’t know gender until later but we’ve already started thinking about names (Dante if it’s a boy or Nadja if it’s a girl).  I hope that regardless, we can do this which I think we will.  We’re currently planning on converting the library (Caitlin’s space) into the baby room and starting initial baby stuff now.

Begin my race car career – wait what?  That’s right, after playing iracing for awhile and getting a decent raise at work, I decided to purchase a Legends car and will start my racing career in early 2020.  I started “Head2Bed Racing” as the name of the race “team” in honor of Dad and I look for this to be my new hobby/equivalent to a bowling league.  

http://head2bedracing.com/index.html

My goal is to be in the top 10 in points at season conclusion. I don’t have a goal to win just yet, I’m more concerned with racing and keeping the car under me.  I would hate to damage the car to the point that would end my racing for a while.  I already know I won’t be able to make all the races scheduled and I don’t know how I’m going to drag my wife into this (I hope she does and doesn’t want to leave me – lol). Wish me luck.

Vacation – This is ambiguous.  I don’t have hard plans just yet but I know my window of reasonable opportunity is closing fast with a baby on the way.  I need to talk to Caitlin about this one more but I’d like to find something we can do either before she gets too big and becomes the boulder from Indian Jones... 

or, if we can pawn the baby to one of our parents, do something post pregnancy.  Caitlin’s mom probably wouldn’t mind the later.  

Health – The goal for 2020 given the wife is pregnant and not drinking is get my weight to 225 lbs.  This is for a few reasons – 1) I looked pretty okay at that weight looking at older pictures 2) That will inevitably have impact to racing a Legends Car as my parents so kindly pointed out 3) It’s a reasonable goal that I should be able to accomplish relatively early in 2020.

Professional Development – I state it like that because I don’t exactly know the exact goal to accomplish this.  I don’t want to restart the doctorate program just yet, I don’t know if I’m eligible for the PgMP certificate yet and even if I was, I haven’t committed myself to studying to the level I need to and even if I got it, I don’t know the career impact.  I’ll leave this open ended for now and see what I have to say next year.

Pay off Debt – With the new job, I “should” be able to clear off a lot of debt.  This will help in the goal later in getting Caitlin a new car and a new house before the kid hits 3 years old.  

Friends (again) – I would like to find more friends.  This, in theory, should occur because of the phases in life after getting out of the Navy.  The first phase was my hair-on-fire party all the time phase.  That ended shortly after settling down with Caitlin. Then there was the “retirement” period (I don’t know what to call it) where I stopped going out and the friends I did have before sorta just went away so it was just myself and Caitlin.  With me getting a new hobby here in actual racing, I’m hoping to meet friends that way and with the kid, we may somehow meet other parents and meet people that way too.  Bottom line, I need to be better at these whole “friends” thing.  

I normally try to shoot for 10 but I’m coming up short and I don’t want to set goals for the sake of setting goals.  I already failed several last year so if I focus on what I have coming, I’ll be better suited to accomplish the goals.  So here we go, 2020…another decade.  Let’s do this!

[angelthefirst1]

10:10 and the end times

10:10 and the end times.

The waking dead is a story that is retelling the biblical end of days narrative over and over again.

I want to go right back to the CDC and look at the first cure attempt and how this episode would tell us the future of things to come.

Starting in episode 1:06

The group has arrived at the CDC and are looking for answers as to why the would has fallen apart.

The CDC represents 2 main biblical themes:

1. The fallen world in need of a cure (Genesis) which eventually comes in the form of Jesus (Gospels)

2. The Tribulation period or end time events which will lead to a period of time on earth that is terrible and devastating for those who are left on earth. (Revelation)

I will start in 1:06 with a conversation between Dale (who is an older Father/brother version of Daryl) and Dr Jenner.

(note that Daryl himself is also in this frame standing next to Dale to indicate the father/brother characters being like twins in story)

Dale :

Dr Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you (the group have been asking him a lot of questions) and I hate to ask one more question but... That clock, it's counting down, what happens at 0?

The first shot we see after Dale says this is this clock :

Jenner: the basement generators, they run out of fuel.

(This is referring to the Earth/basement being ready for judgement or tribulation) it's a count down to the end time's.

Rick: and then?

Jenner won't answer.

Rick to the computer Vi (which is the CDC's AI computer system, that they look up to the ceiling to talk to, aka God)

Rick: Vi what happens when the power runs out?

Vi: When the power runs out, facility wide decontamination will occur.

*So when the CDC clock counts down from 1:00:02 (10:10 or 10:02 on an analogue clock) the CDC or world will have a facility wide decontamination (Tribulation period)

*As I mentioned earlier there are 2 themes rolled into one running through each scene. One theme tells us about the fall and cure of the world and the other about the end times or tribulation period.

Past and future events are being told while you are watching the present.

*The CDC is showing the fall of mankind (Genesis) and the need for a cure but it's also showing the start of the Tribulation period (Revelation) at the same time. But not the cure story just yet, although it predicts it to come.

*Counting back up to 10:02 or 10:10 (episode wise) we should see a different kind of facility wide, world wide, or show wide decontamination, with the introduction of a cure story and Beth/Jesus.

So let's keep going with the dialogue...

After this some of the group go down to the basement to see if there is more fuel while some are in their rooms.

Just over the half way mark at 30 minutes left on the clock or... at the season 5 mark we have the following happening which I believe is about Beth's body after being shot and the prediction of a cure to come.

At this moment Carl and Lori are in a room on their own:

Carl to Lori: something wrong?

Lori nothing it's just the air conditioning stopped.

*(Beth's breathing stopped/Jesus died)

*"The Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature" (Genesis 2:7). The breath of life was what turned man from a lifeless collection of matter into a living creature.

*God/Jesus is the Breath of life.

The Air and lights start to go off and Daryl asks what's going on? Whys everything turning off off?

Jenner: Energy use is being prioritised.

Dale: Air isn't a priority? And lights?

*John 8:12

12 Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Jenner: it's not up to me, cell 5 is shutting it's self down.

Season 5, the half way mark to season 10 and half way on the countdown clock (Beth's body) is shutting it's self down. (prioritising it's energy use)

*Biblically Jesus, the breath of life and the light of the world allows himself to be killed to provide a cure for the fallen world to those that accept it.

Daryl getting really angry: hey, hey what the hell’s that mean? Hey man I'm talking to you. (it's interesting that he gets the most upset here out of every one)

Rick to Jenner: what's happening?

Jenner: the system is dropping all the non essential uses of power, it's designed to keep the computers running until the last possible second, OUR STAR JUST REPROACHED THE HALF HOUR MARK, Right on schedule 31:28

*As @frangipanilove has mentioned in her very cleaver post, this refers to the Sirius star 🌟 which disappears for a time and reappears, Sirius meaning glowing and is the brightest star in the night sky reappearing just before dawn)

*Biblically this star represent both Jesus and Lucifer/Satan and their respective returns.

Revelation 22:16 “I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star.”

Isaiah 14:12 (speaking of Lucifer/Satan)

How you have fallen from heaven, o star of the morning, son of the dawn! You have been cut down to earth, you who have weakened the nation's.

*The idea of a “bright morning star” is a star that outshines all the others, and Jesus is the One who is called “bright.” Satan was a morning star. Jesus, as God incarnate, the Lord of the universe, is the BRIGHT and morning star. Jesus is the most holy and powerful “light” in all the universe. So, while both Jesus and Satan can be described as “morning stars,” in no sense is this equating Jesus and Satan. Satan is a created being. His light only exists to the extent that God created it. Jesus is the light of the world (John 9:5). Only Jesus’ light is “bright” and self-existent. Satan may be a morning star, but he is only a poor imitation of the one true bright morning star, Jesus Christ, the light of the world.

*So when Jenner refers to the star approaching the half hour mark he is referring to both Beth/Jesus’ death to come.

Its also interesting to note that test subject 19 (Jenner’s wife who was bitten and Jenner recorded the transformation process, shows her being to turn when the clock says 32:18 (now as Jenner said earlier, the star (Beth/Jesus) reproaches the half hour mark at 31:28... just flipping the one and the two... Test subject one and the re-approach of test subject two.

Jenner: It was the French (the lover's or those that are in love with Beth/Jesus) who were the last ones to hold out as far as I know.

*Daryl would have stayed with Beth's body longer than anyone else while walkers were inundating the group because he loved her.

Jenner: While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end.

They thought they were close to a solution.

What happened?

Jenner: same thing that's happening here, no power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuels how stupid is that.

The 30 Min siren goes off and Jenner goes to a key pad that has a green light (earth) on it. He uses his pass card and it goes blue/heaven he then presses 999 and it goes red/death.

(Or 666 signalling the beginning of the Tribulation period, which as described in the bible is a 7 year period where Satan or the man of perdition who's number is 666 will come to earth and rule in the form of a man (the star of the morning/Satan). While God suddenly takes those who have believed in gods son Jesus for salvation to heaven to escape the judgements sent down to the inhabitants of earth who have not believed. This time period will be the final cleans or decontamination of the world)

Jenner locks the doors and they are locked in. (once that time period starts there will be no stopping it)

Daryl then yells: You son of a bitch you locked us in here! You locked her in here. (I'm sure he says her the second time but my subtitles were not working so I can't confirm but it definitely sounds like her)

This is again showing more than one biblical event. The 1st is Jesus/ Beth being separated from the group via her being locked in a vehicle but its also depicting the rapture period where Jesus and his bride or church will be separated from the world while the tribulation period begins on earth, leaving the inhabitants of the earth to face the coming tribulation (AKA Winter for Game of Thrones fans out there) which will not finish until the 7 years are up.

Rick: You open that door right now.

Jenner: There's no point, everything topside is locked down, emergency exits are sealed.

Topside = heaven where those who God took off the earth to save from the coming tribulation are. Some call it the rapture of the church, those left behind will have to face the 7 years on earth of Tribulation.

Dale: Well open the dam things.

Jenner: That's not something I can control the computers do. I told you once that front door closed it wouldn't open again you heard me say that, it's better this way.

*(God has a time which only he knows for when these events will begin, Jenner just wants to die as he realises what the world out there now has to offer and he would rather opt out now than face what's to come, he tries to force the rest of the group to give up with him)

Rick: what happens in 28 minutes

Jenner yelling: You know what this place is, (what this time period is) we protected the public from very nasty stuff, weaponized small pox, Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country, stuff you don't want getting out ever! In the event of a catastrophic power failure and a terrorist attack for example. HIT's are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out.

Rick: HIT's?

Vi:

Higherpaulse Thermobaric fuel air explosives consist of a 2 stage aerosol ignition, that produces a blast wave of significantly grater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear, the vacuum pressure effect it lights the air between 5 to 6 thousand degrees and is useful where the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired.

Jenner: It sets the air on fire, no pain an end to suffering, grief, regret, everything.

*2 Peter 3:7

But the heaven we see now and the earth we live on now have been kept by His word. They will be kept until they are to be destroyed by fire. They will be kept until the day men stand before God and sinners will be destroyed.

*Revelation 21:1-2

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.

Verse 4

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

A few of the group try to break the doors down but it is useless.

Jenner to Andrea: you know what's out there a short life brutal and an agonising death ☠

Jenner: The doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher. Rick you do want this you said it yourself, it's just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead.

Shane: You really said that.

Rick: I had to keep hope alive

Jenner: there is no hope, there never was.

Rick: There's always hope, maybe it won't be you maybe not here but somebody somewhere.

*This refers to both the fall of mankind before a cure was found Beth/Jesus and also the Tribulation period before Jesus comes back to create a new heaven and new earth it has doubled meaning where the start is the end 10:002 and the end is the start 10:02 or 10:10 Beth and her get well soon clock

Andrea: what part of everything's gone do you not understand?

Jenner: Listen to her she gets it, this is our extinction event.

Rick: I think you're lying about no hope, if that were true you would have bolted like the rest or taken the easy way out, you didn't you chose the hard path. Why?

Jenner: IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Rick: IT DOES MATTER IT ALWAYS MATTERS

(Jenner is a repeat Daryl character, saying it doesn't matter. The love of his life will be bitten/not die and she will be his wife at some point.  In this scene Rick is also Beth yelling It always matters!)

You stayed when others ran, why?

Jenner: Not because I wanted to, I made a promise to her... My wife. The camera then shows Andrea. (who is also a Beth repeat)

Andrea: Test subject 19 was your wife...

Meanwhile Daryl is the only one away from the group, he is back at the door and swinging an axe at it, still desperate to get out while Jenner says...

She begged me to keep going as long as I could...

BANG: Daryl hitting the door

Jenner: How could I say no

BANG: Daryl hitting the door

Jenner: How could I say no, she was dying. It should have been me on that table it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

BANG: Daryl hitting the door

Jenner: She was a loss to the world

BANG: Daryl hitting the door

Jenner: hell she ran this place, I just worked here, in our field she was an Einstein

BANG: Daryl hitting the door

Jenner: Me I'm just Edwin Jenner

BANG: Daryl hitting the door

Jenner: she could have done something about this... Not me.

Rick: your wife didn't have a choice, you do... That's all we want.

BANG: Daryl hitting the door

Rick: A choice, a chance.

BANG: Daryl hitting the door.

Lori: Let us keep trying as long as we can

BANG: Daryl hitting the door...

Daryl suddenly stopped hitting the door and Jenner seems to give in a little and says to Rick.

Jenner: I told you topsides locked down I can't open those. He then goes back to the same key pad that he locked the doors with, swipes his key pad which goes from red to blue once he puts the code in (which you can't see but it is definitely not 999 his fingers go to 4 different buttons but the camera didn't show it up close) the key pad then goes green and the doors open.

Daryl: About to swing the axe again... The door suddenly opens up and he yells "come on!"

Jenner: There's your chance take it.

Rick: I'm grateful

Jenner: The day will come when you won't be. He then whispers in Rick's ear, which we later find out that Jenner tells Rick "we're all infected".

*Reference to the fall of the the human race all being infected with sin and also meaning without a cure the final destination is the same either way and the group will now face the end times.

Andrea doesn't want to leave she wants to take the easy way out.

Dale very stressed tells Andrea "this isn't what Amy would want from you."

Andrea: She's dead, and you need to leave.

The rest of the group get to the top floor and are trying to get outside

It then shows Andrea and Dale.

Andrea says times almost up as she looks at the countdown clock it says 3:12 now Andrea does die in episode 3:16 so she could be foreshadowing her own death counting back up the other way.

The group are still trying to get outside nothing they try to break the glass works but then Carol gets a grenade out of her bag that she got from Ricks uniform when washing it. She gives it to Rick who uses it to break the glass.

The explosion he really remind me of the bridge explosion that caused Ricks exit in season 9 it also shows that Rick leaving will soon after be followed by Beth's (Andrea's) arrival, it's also interesting that Rick leaves in episode 6 of season 9 because he breaks the glass to the CDC in episode 6 and leaves the CDC then.

69 mean repeating backwards story.

Rick sets off the grenade and runs there is a massive explosion just like when he blew up the bridge to save his family and friends.

The glass is broken.

It's then we see Andrea and Dale.

Dale is stroking Andrea's face still trying to get her to leave. But says "Okay you win and sits down to wait willing die next to her and says "you win"

Andrea: what are you doing, don't pull this Dale.

Dale : I'm not pulling anything? If you stay I stay too, his right we know what's waiting out there for us out there. I don't want to face it alone.

Andrea: Dale, get the hell out, I don't want you here.

Dale: too bad, cos you don't get to do that, come into somebody's life, make them care and then check out.

The group is now out and running for the cars.

Andrea finally follows Dale out of the CDC just in time and they both dive behind sand bags and survive the massive fire ball that blows up the CDC.

This represents the group beginning the journey through the tribulation, one of the darkest times in human history and also the CDC being destroyed represents the world with no cure being destroyed.

Dr Jenner dies inside the CDC

The CDC was designed to destroy outbreaks that could cause an extinction level event. This time however an extinction level event destroyed it.

A redemption of this CDC story will repeat once Rick breaks the glass (blows up the bridge to save his friends and family) once he leaves and Andrea follows the redemption should come.

The next episode 2:01 (which should be 10:01 for us in season 10) starts with Rick on a rooftop in Atlanta with Grady memorial in the background. Rick is on the radio (interesting that 9:16 ended with the mystery radio caller) Rick is saying about Andrea "I can't say I blame her she lost faith, the CDC was a bust, I met a man there he told me something, he told me... It doesn't matter, we're moving on Atlanta's done.

This end time biblical theme is everywhere in this show and other shows and season 10 is shaping up to show us what we have all been waiting on... The return of a Savior...

Angela Kang said that in season 10 the show would be going" left"

Which reminded me of Sofia. When she went missing originally. Rick left her to hide in a small cave on a river bank, so he could draw off two walkers that were after her.

He told her once the walkers follow him she should head back to the highway and keep the sun on her left shoulder. (sun being a reference to Son of God)

Rick and Daryl can't find Sofia when they return to get her from the cave. Daryl finds some of her tracks and says "she was doing just fine (following Ricks instructions) until right here, when she went off that way 👉" Daryl points to the right.

So Sofia was supposed to go to the left but went right which led to her death.

Season 10 might finally show that Beth goes left and that's the trail Angela Kang is talking about following.

We have been waiting soooooo long and even though I always thought that Get Well soon clock was a major clue to her return I never wanted to even consider it would apply to season 10 as it seemed ridiculously long to wait but again when applying it to the end time biblical theme is makes a lot of sense.

2 Peter

3:8-9

Dear friends, remember this one thing, with the Lord one day is as 1,000 years, and 1,000 years are as one day. The Lord is not slow about keeping His promise as some people think. He is waiting for you.

In the CDC they used the I hour mark on the count down clock for a very particular reason along with the dialogue we have looked at above.

1:00:02 it's a reference to the 1000 years =1 day and Gods promise to return.

2 Peter 3:3

First of all, I want you to know that in the last days men will laugh at the truth. They will follow their own sinful desires. 4 They will say, “He promised to come again. Where is He? Since our early fathers died, everything is the same from the beginning of the world.” 5 But they want to forget that God spoke and the heavens were made long ago. The earth was made out of water and water was all around it. 6 Long ago the earth was covered with water and it was destroyed. 7 But the heaven we see now and the earth we live on now have been kept by His word. They will be kept until they are to be destroyed by fire. They will be kept until the day men stand before God and sinners will be destroyed.

Dear friends, remember this one thing, with the Lord one day is as 1,000 years, and 1,000 years are as one day.

9 The Lord is not slow about keeping His promise as some people think. He is waiting for you. The Lord does not want any person to be punished forever. He wants all people to be sorry for their sins and turn from them. 10 The day of the Lord will come as a robber comes. The heavens will pass away with a loud noise. The sun and moon and stars will burn up. The earth and all that is in it will be burned up.

11 Since all these things are to be destroyed in this way, you should think about the kind of life you are living. It should be holy and God-like. 12 You should look for the day of God to come. You should do what you can to make it come soon. At that time the heavens will be destroyed by fire. And the sun and moon and stars will melt away with much heat. 13 We are looking for what God has promised, which are new heavens and a new earth. Only what is right and good will be there.

14 Dear friends, since you are waiting for these things to happen, do all you can to be found by Him in peace. Be clean and free from sin. 15 You can be sure the long waiting of our Lord is part of His plan to save men from the punishment of sin. God gave our dear brother Paul the wisdom to write about this also.

Wow that was a mouth full 😂

Any questions I'm happy to answer.

[thisspaceintentionallyleftblank]

Try, Try Again (pt. 3)

Guess who saw the Lego Movie 2 again today?? I’m hoping the residual excitement will be enough to fuel a burst of writing, so that I can post stuff despite needing to complete approximately 12 billion assignments for school. We’ll soon see how idealistic of a notion that is... 

Anyways, here’s the chapter.

(Chapter 1) | (Chapter 2)

Chapter 3 (3001 words)

Lucy was currently perched in her favorite spot in all of Apocalypseburg. Up on Lady Un-Liberty’s torch, with her legs hanging over the edge and the cool wind ruffling through her hair, everything seemed to slow down momentarily.

On the city streets, which stretched out far below her feet, everything was constantly rowdy, chaotic, and loud. It was excitingly surely, and all wrestling and fighting could be fun, but sometimes, Lucy just preferred coming up here instead.

Of course, it also made an excellent spot for brooding.

For Lucy, brooding was an art form. It was edgy and mature and, if you did it right, people would recognize that you were edgy and mature as well. On a basic level, brooding was a bit like poetry. It all came down to the words that you used, and the way that you said them. It was a skill that Lucy had in bounds, and was one of the reasons why she’d been such a good songwriter when she was younger.

Reaching up, Lucy absentmindedly pulled at a strand of her hair. It curled around her finger, the dark color shimmering in the sunlight. She had moved on from her pop star career a long time ago, but sometimes she found herself expected to see a different color in the mirror. The dye job had been necessary, as she reminded herself frequently. She’d had no choice but to change herself in order to be taken seriously by the other Master Builders. When they’d first seen her, looking like the preppy idol on a Business-brand record label, they hadn’t seen a rebel or a freedom fighter. All they’d seen was a symbol of the establishment. They’d seen her as the girl she wasn’t anymore - the girl that she couldn’t be anymore.     

With a quick glance at her phone, she checked the time. Emmet would be arriving any minute with their morning coffee. If she started brooding now, she probably wouldn’t be finished by the time he got here, meaning that he’d likely try and join in again.

Emmet had… tried brooding with her a few times, but usually those attempts just devolved into him talking about a random topic in a slightly more gravelly voice. To be fair, the approach had worked reasonably well the time he’d aired his grievances with Jeff, but the rest of his topics, such as his views on toasters and hi-vis vests, had been significantly less successful.  

Lucy sighed. She wasn’t really in the mood to brood today anyways, and had basically resorted to waiting up here for Emmet to show up and help take her mind off things. She liked it here in Apocalypseburg, much more than she had ever liked living in Bricksburg. There, she had been forced to choose between either being a cog in the Business machine or a criminal constantly on the run for her life. In Apocalypseburg, she felt like she could be more herself than she had been for a while. Despite the newfound sense of freedom, the city could still get overwhelming sometimes.

Whenever it did, sitting up here with Emmet was like coming up for air.

She checked the time again. At some point during her ruminations, the clock had shifted well past eight and begun closing in on nine. A sharp sense of worry started seeping into the back of her mind. Emmet had never been late before. Ok, well, he had, but it had only been the once, and even then it was because he had fallen into the sewer baby pit and had taken over an hour to pick out all the little spikes.  

Not for the first time this morning, Lucy caught herself peering over the edge of the torch platform, down towards the base of the statue. Below her, a well timed tumbleweed trundled past, clearly signifying the lack of any happy-go-lucky ex-construction workers.

Uugh, she thought with a deliberate roll of her eyes, I’d better go find him before he gets hurt. The dread that had started building settled slightly at the thought. In a flash, she turned from the edge and started running down the statue. With a little under an hour left before she needed to meet up with Batman and patrol, she ought to have enough time to ask a few folks around town if they’d seen anything.

As usual, the streets of Apocalypseburg were populated with crowds of people, clouds of desert dust, and the odd barfight or two that had gotten wild enough to spill out onto the street. Lucy strode confidently through, easily sidestepping groups of wrestling people and hopping over the several prone figures that littered the ground. Emmet’s favorite coffee shop was down this way, just past Benny’s shop, which made him a good first candidate for her search.   

Predictably, Benny was out front of his shop, working as always on improving Metalbeard’s new body. His workshop consisted mainly of a fenced-in platform, which had been lofted for the twofold reason of avoiding the madness of the street below, as well as preventing Benny from accidently setting another passerby on fire.   

“Hey Benny,” Lucy called out, as she expertly leapt up onto the platform.

“Lucy!” Benny cheered. He whirled around to greet her, dropping the wrench he’d been holding in his excitement.

“Yar!” Metalbeard cried out as the tool tumbled down into the construct of his body, ricocheting off various components before clattering to the ground.  

“Oops,” Benny laughed. “Sorry about that...” Turned back towards the pirate, he floated up slightly, such that he could rummage around, searching for his wrench.

“So Lucy,” Metalbeard addressed her while staunchly ignoring the spaceman mucking about in his guts. “Are ye just popping by for a visit, or was there something ye needed?”

“I was wondering if you guys had seen Emmet yet today.” Lucy stepped forwards as she spoke, picking up the wrench from where it had fallen and passing it to Benny. “He was supposed to meet me at the top of the statue a while ago, but never showed up.”  

“Thanks,” Benny took the wrench from her and twirled it absentmindedly in his hands as he spoke. “Yeah, Emmet came by this morning. He had his coffee, was listening to his music, and told me that he appreciates our friendship. You know, the usual!”

Concern creased Lucy’s brow. “Do you know when that was?”

“Earlier than usual,” Metalbeard grumbled. “Much too early for that accursed ‘pop song’ he insists on playing...”

Benny chuckled in agreement. “Yeah, the line at Larry’s must have been pretty short. It was maybe a quarter to eight.” At the thought, Benny frowned. “Do you think something happened to him?”

“I’m not sure,” Lucy sighed, unable to keep the worry out of her voice. “Just… let me know if you see him, ok?”

“Can do, lassee.”

“Sure thing!”

“Thanks guys,” Lucy gave a weak grin and leapt over the fence, falling to the street and leaving the two to their work.  

In an attempt to follow Emmet’s footsteps, Lucy continued down the street, occasionally pulling someone aside to ask them increasingly worried questions. The sewer babies had seen him, but didn’t know where he’d gone. Similarly, neither Chainsaw Dave, nor Crazy Cat Lady, nor any of her cats had any idea where Emmet could have gotten off to.

She had just finished questioning Battle Debra, who hadn’t even actually seen Emmet at all, when a dark shadow engulfed them both. In the next moment, Batman swooped down beside them.

“Hey Lucy,” he growled, leaning against a nearby wall in a calculated effort to appear nonchalant. “You ready to go, or whatever?”

“Yeah,” Lucy sighed. “Let’s just make this quick, ok?”

Hurt by her dismissive tone, especially considering how cool his entrance had just been, Batman’s permanent frown deepened even further. “Uh, why?”

“It’s just that Emmet didn’t show up this morning. I’ve been trying to find him, but...” She trailed off momentarily, before adding bruskly, “I’m sure it’s nothing, but you know.”

Batman grunted. “He’s probably just working on his little house.”

Lucy snapped her head up in surprise. “His what?”

“His little house. You know, the one he’s building out in the wasteland.”

“No, I don’t know.” Lucy pulled at her hair in frustration. “What, did he tell you? Did you see him this morning?”

“Pshh, no.” Batman smiled. “It’s like, supposed to be a surprise, but I am the world's greatest detective after all.”

Lucy scowled at him, and his smug expression drooped slightly.

“Uh,” he faltered. “I also have like, a super huge telescope, so it was pretty easy to find.”

Lucy groaned. “Ok then, fine. It's just… weird that he didn't mention it earlier. Usually he tells me everything.”

Batman shrugged. “I mean, I think it was supposed to be a surprise, uh, for you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“Um,” Lucy coughed into her hand, trying to clear her throat and in no way trying to hide the blush blooming on her cheeks. “I mean, I guess he’ll just tell me about it when he's ready…”

Noticing the emotion steadily creeping into her voice, she hastily changed the subject. “Uh, we should definitely stop talking about this and go patrol, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Batman said. He pulled out a remote control from his belt and, with the click of a button, the Bataclysm shot out of a nearby alley, screeching to a halt beside them. In a fluid motion, the two flipped up their respective doors, leapt inside the vehicle and clicked the doors back into place. With a gratuitous squeal of the engine, the sleek black custom vehicle revved up and took off into the wasteland.

The process of “patrolling” usually entitled driving around aimlessly and fighting any random aliens that showed up. Whenever she patrolled with Benny or Metalbeard, they would routinely get distracted combing through the wreckage for cool pieces. But Batman had long since had collected all the black and dark gray pieces that he needed, and as such, he now went on patrols mainly to beat up the alien creatures. He was, as he described it, simply “working out his inner rage and turmoil through meaningless physical violence.”

Lucy wasn't really sure why she went on patrols. She wasn't really looking for supplies or a fight. It just felt like… the right thing to do. Like something that she had to do it, so that someone else wouldn't need to. In a way, it made her feel like she could protect their new home.

It made her anxious, the way that Emmet kept asking to tag along. She'd told him multiple times that she'd bring pieces back for him, and she knew that he didn't like fighting, but still, he kept asking for some indiscernible reason. Glumly, she looked out the Bataclysm’s tinted windows, watching the ruined skeletons of shattered skyscrapers as they slipped past. What was it out here that Emmet found so alluring?

Regardless of his motivations, she already knew that Emmet would likely never get to run patrols. He was just… too sweet. He always had been. The way that he greeted everyone so cheerfully? The way that his grin never seemed to falter? The way that he still liked fun popular music? Like, who did that?

Not Lucy, that much was for sure. Lucy was cool and tough and edgy now.

And Emmet? He just wasn't.

She had loved that about him, but at some point it had just transformed into a source of worry. The world had made it abundantly clear that everything fun and colorful was in danger here and, instead of changing himself accordingly in order to stay safe, like any totally sane and rational person would, Emmet had just stayed Emmet.

Lucy sighed, pressing her forehead into the cool glass of the window.

“Are you brooding right now?” Batman asked, turning to glower in her direction. “Because it’s my car, and the rule is that only the driver gets to brood.”

“I’m just… thinking.” She mumbled in a half-hearted reply.

“Oh, good. I wasn’t planning on thinking, so you can do that if you want.” Turning his focus back to driving, he cranked a dial on the dashboard, sending a shockwave of pulsating heavy metal music blasting out of the back seats to help fill the awkward silence between them.

Ignoring him, Lucy went back to staring listlessly out the window. Maybe they'd encounter some aliens, and she could try distracting herself from her myriad concerns and personal insecurities with violence, like Batman always does.

Come on, she thought for perhaps the first time in the five years they'd been under siege. Come on, let's see some aliens.

There weren't any aliens.

In the end, all that Lucy had accomplished was sitting in a testosterone and leather scented car for two hours while listening to Batman talk about the power of abs or something. All in all, the experience had done little to help ease her thoughts on Emmet.

To make matters worse, her stomach had begun growling something fierce. Caving to her body’s demands, she decided to postpone her search for Emmet until after a quick stop at her favorite lunchtime cafe - Le Pain.

“Hey, Lucy!” As she entered, a familiar voice shook her out of her thoughts.

“Emmet!” She cried, a fond grin forming on her cheeks. “I’ve been looking for you!”

Emmet laughed, rubbing the back of his neck in that nervous way he does. “Sorry about this morning...”

“But! Um,” He gestured towards the table he was sitting at, which had been clearly set for two. “I was hoping that I might be able to make up for it with some lunch?”

“Sure,” Lucy said, taking the seat across from him.  

“How was your patrol?” Emmet asked.

“Eh, pretty uninteresting.” Lucy replied. She reached for one of the menus resting in the center of the table, and began perusing through the lunch items. “Apparently Batman has a kid now, but other than that nothing really happened.”

The waiter, a former french mime whose face had been repainted so to resemble a skull, walked up to take their orders.

“I'll have an abnormally large croissant and a black coffee, please.” Lucy ordered, passing her menu back to the waiter.

“Same for me,” Emmet added, earning him a skeptical look from Lucy.

“Are you sure?” She asked, doubt apparent in her tone. “I thought you didn't like black coffee?”

“Well,” Emmet said, with a crooked, almost shy smile. “I’ve decided to take it up recently. So that I can be tougher, like you guys.”

“Oh?” Lucy’s expression reflected her pleasant surprise. “I'm glad to hear it.”

After a minute or two, the waiter brought back their food, and the pair started to eat. As usual, everything tasted fine, but had a rather gritty texture. Living in a desert, there wasn't much a chef could do to keep out the sand - which, as everybody knew, was coarse, rough, irritating, and got everywhere.

“Hey Emmet,” Lucy said after a moment. “Was there… a particular reason you couldn't hang out this morning?”

“Oh,” he replied. “Well, I was going to tell you later, but I've actually started training. As part of becoming tougher, that is.”

“Training?” Lucy asked.

“Yeah, like lifting weights and doing backflips and stuff. You know, tough guy stuff.”  

“Ok, right. That makes sense.” Lucy chastised herself for worrying. Here she was, worrying over Emmet for being too soft and vulnerable when in reality he was off working at becoming better and stronger. She felt almost foolish now for having run all over town looking for him.

Across from her, Rex continued to pick at his food. He hadn’t really eaten much since… before everything, and he was finding the experience more uncomfortable than he remembered. Logically, he knew that he should be making more conversation, asking Lucy about her day and her thoughts, and a billion other things like Emmet always had, but he was struggling to think of any conversation topics. He knew what kinds of questions he really wanted to ask her… but this Lucy wasn’t the one that had left him in Undar that had foiled his plans… so he knew he'd never get a satisfactory answer.

A moment ago, he’d seen the worry on Lucy’s face when she’d asked where he’d been that morning. Then, as he explained that he was training, that he was tough now, her concern  had vanished, replaced with a soft smile. And now, as he finished his coffee, her smile had only grown bigger.

She seemed overjoyed… ecstatic that “Emmet” was finally acting tough, just like she’d wanted him to be.

Rex understood, of course. His time in Undar had been educational in that way, constantly hammering in the fact that being tough was the only way to protect yourself. Emmet needed to learn that; he needed to see that his cheerfulness and his optimism were idealistic, unsustainable, and paving the path towards suffering.

But, for some reason, the thought was still upsetting. Anger roiled in the pit of his gut, turbulent and boiling hot, making it harder and harder to maintain Emmet’s constant dopey grin.

For a moment, it almost felt like he was resentful at how ready Lucy was to accept that Emmet was changing, how excited she was for him to totally overhaul his personality. Obviously, he couldn't be upset about that though, since he agreed with the sentiment. Rex had been responsible for sending Emmet away for training, after all.

He was just… still upset that she had ruined his plans last time.

That was all.

Confident in his identification of the feeling’s source, Rex could then manipulate it, burying it underneath layers of swagger and machismo.  He had years of practice dealing with these kinds of emotions and had long since perfected the art of hiding and ignoring them. As such, his disguise remained perfect, his painted smile never wavering.

[elite-guard-hardygal]

Dragon Treasure (Fantasy!Eijiro Kirishima/OC) - My Hero Academia gift fic

FINALLY! A super late Christmas present and birthday present for @the-lupine-sojourner! A Takara Yamada (OC)/Eijiro Kirishima fic! Yes, that’s right, I buckled down and actually wrote something at least somewhat romantic! And because I can more easily do anything I want in the Fantasy!AU, this is set in the Fantasy!AU.

A few heads up. Lupine, I know you have your own Fantasy!AU for KiriKara, buuuuuut, I set this fic in my own version of the Fantasy!AU… Hope you don’t mind >.<

Also, everyone is still fifteen/sixteen, because this is a fantasy world, and I imagine age-restriction on quests and other dangerous stuff isn’t exactly all that strict. By that age, you’re probably expected to start doing something with your life… It’s not that different from real life, really.

Double also, in terms of dialogue and speaking, I view the fantasy!MHA as being kinda like Avatar: The Last Airbender. Meaning the world has this old, traditional look with lots of fantasy elements, but people still talk like people do today, a’la “My first girlfriend turned into the moon.” / “That’s rough, buddy.”

Anyway, enough rambling, let’s get to it!

—

"Aww, that's really cool, Eijiro!"

"Really?" Eijiro looked down at the tiny collection of gems and coins inside his coin purse. "Bakugo thinks it's kind of a dumbass tradition."

Takara scoffed, pulling the drawstring on Eijiro's purse and hiding the little valuables from any potentially greedy villagers. "What does he know? He's not a dragon. And I think it's kinda cute, you having your own personal little treasure trove."

Eijiro laughed bashfully as he tied the coin purse to his belt. "I don't even know why I do it. I mean, yeah, I don't really plan on giving any of those shiny things up, but I don't think I'm gonna go full on beast mode if someone tried to take them either."

"Well, is it, like... a dragon rule to go beast mode when someone tries to take your treasure?"

"Not exactly…?" Eijiro said hesitantly. "I mean, we're pretty territorial, but I think it's all up to you what you're willing to call your 'treasure.' Like, the thing you've sworn, as a dragon, to protect."

He glanced at Takara. "Heh, sorry, still don't know nearly enough about dragon tradition as I should."

Eijiro was one of the very few dragon-people to pretty much reject dragon traditions and instead embark on a life of questing, which meant he was missing out on a lot of his people's coming-of-age teachings. He never seemed that upset about it, just a little embarrassed that his knowledge of his own people's traditions only went so far.

"Oh, it's fine…!" Takara said sympathetically. "I think it's sweet of you to keep that tradition going."

Eijiro grinned. "Well, if there's one thing I know makes a both a man and a dragon, it's protecting somethin', even if it's just a purse full'a shiny things."

Takara returned the grin. Heavens above, did she love this boy.

Takara and Eijiro's questing party had set up camp a few miles away from a rather large, well off village earlier that evening. A few people, like Ochako, had questioned why they didn't simply book a stay at the local inn, but that would have been problematic for a number of reasons.

For one, it was almost guaranteed some of them would have to share a room, and very few of them would have been happy with that. For another, a party of young quest-goers tended to attract unwanted attention - questing was a competitive line of work, and many older quest-goers did enjoy hazing younger ones, especially those coming of age. Finally, it would have just been expensive.

After their party had set up camp, Momo compiled a small group consisting of Takara, Eijiro, Izuku, and Tsuyu, and the five of them went off to the village to get some supplies. They had each split off in their own directions after they arrived, agreeing to rendezvous at the center of the village after nightfall. Takara and Eijiro, of course, remained together.

They spent a significant amount of time just enjoying the liveliness of the village before finally buying some bread. Having barely had enough between the two of them to purchase enough bread for the whole party, Takara had jokingly asked Eijiro if he had a dragon's treasure trove, like in the stories. As it turned out, he kind of did.

Some time had passed by now. The sky was dark, and the two of them were heading towards the village center, when bells started clanging in the distance. Takara and Eijiro both froze and exchanged a look. Even a child knew what those bells meant.

The village was being attacked.

The villagers were scattering about, frantic to reach the safety of their shops or homes. Eijiro and Takara stayed were they were. The former drew his knives, eyes piercing the edges of the crowd for anything that looked like an attacker, while the latter crouched down, eyes closed in concentration as her fingertips brushed the ground beneath her.

"Whadda we got?" Eijiro asked tensely.

Takara's eyes snapped open and she stood up straight. "Raiders, I think. A freakin' army, coming in from the east and fanning out."

Opponents located, the two young quest-goers sprinted against the flow of panicking villagers.

"Where're the others?" Eijiro asked, trying to be careful not to accidentally stab anyone rushing past him.

"I don't know," Takara replied as she rested one hand on her water pouch. "I didn't want to spend too much of my magic on that one earth spell."

"Guess we'll have to hope they'll find us. Or that we beat our guys fast enough to go find them."

Takara wasn't looking at Eijiro as he said that, mind much too focused on searching for the raiders, but she knew he was smiling, trying to set her at ease. It worked, of course. It always worked.

Someone screamed. A man dressed all in black had grabbed some fleeing villager, a girl not much older than Takara or Eijiro. She kicked and flailed, shrieking as the man dragged her backwards, his reflective eyes - indicating he was probably of the beast-people - alight with sick desire. Hot rage filled every muscle in Takara's body, and she yanked the stopper out of her water pouch.

Within seconds, the man was on the ground, those sick eyes rolling back dazedly as Takara called back the water whip to form a mace, which she then pointed at the man's bestial face. The girl, who Takara had pulled back the second she hit the man with that surprise attack, grasped Takara's hand.

"Thank you, thank you!" she cried, only now clearly on the verge of tears.

"It's okay, it's okay, you're welcome," Takara said calmingly, giving the poor girl a smile. "Now go, quickly! Get to safety! We'll handle this!"

The girl nodded and rushed off after her fellow villagers. Takara watched her go, just to be safe.

Suddenly, something yanked on her weapon. "You'll pay for that…"

In that one moment of absence, Takara failed to realize that the attacker had regained his senses.

Takara had not come this far as a quest-goer without having first developed some quick skills, though. She loosened her hold on the water spell, and the mace dissolved in the man's hands, Takara leapt back, calling the water back to her as a floating stream. The man snarled, but Takara gave him no time to even curse, for the second he jumped to his feet, she whipped the water around his body and swung him into a nearby house.

It looked like she and Eijiro had caught up with the raiders.

And it was chaos.

There were still plenty of hapless villagers who had not managed to hide themselves away before the raiders caught up to them. They ran around frantically, screaming, begging their neighbors to let them into whatever home or shop they happened to have barricaded themselves into. It wasn't like the homes or shops were safe either, because it was these places the raiders were mainly looking to break into, stealing supplies, valuables, or even people. Some villagers were brave enough to fight back, only to be struck down by one or two significantly more experienced raiders. Night torches were being toppled over, setting structures ablaze.

Through it all, Eijiro and Takara remained focused.

With her water magic, Takara chose to focus much of her energy on damage control, dousing out the fires that were at risk of becoming catastrophically destructive. If she didn't immediately see a fire that needed dousing, Takara turned her water spells on the raiders. Sometimes the raiders attacked her while she was focused on fighting a fire, but Takara was not so easily taken down.

And besides, Eijiro was always there to watch her back. Even as he focused mainly on fighting off the raiders or rescuing other captured, about-to-be-dead villagers, Eijiro would frequently call out to her with warnings or words of encouragement.

"Takara, watch your side!"

"Wow, nice move!"

"They're coming straight for you!"

"Still lookin' good, babe!"

It was less a way of protecting and more a way to let her know, "Hey! I'm still here!" Takara would be remiss if she didn't respond in kind, keeping one eye on her boyfriend and one eye on her surroundings, shouting words of warning or encouragement right back in between fighting fires or raiders. She did have to give herself some credit for having achieved this level of multitasking.

Soon enough, most to all of the fires were managed. Now all she had to do was fight the raiders. After using a focused stream to take out four raiders who had attempted to jump her all at once, Takara stepped back and bumped into something warm and solid.

"Hey, babe." Eijiro gave her a sideways grin. "Holding up?"

"I'm doing just fine," Takara reported, returning the grin. "Wishing more than ever that I was better at earth magic, but, y'know, whatever." She parried and countered another attack.

"I could go beast and maybe end this a little faster," Eijiro ground out, now struggling against a significantly taller raider. "But…"

Takara lashed a water whip around the ankles of Eijiro's opponent, turned, and pulled their feet out from under them. "Damage control and already frightened villagers would definitely become a problem."

"Right..."

"Hey, don't start angsting on me…!" Takara gave her boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek. "You're doing great!"

Eijiro shook himself, that optimistic demeanor returning. "Aw, you always know what t' say."

"I know." Takara smiled teasingly, and the two of them split to return to the fray.

All that said, Takara was beginning to feel the strain of the fight as it stretched on. Though she and Eijiro had been making quick work of the more cocky and less battle-smart raiders up to that point, that just left the cleverer and more experienced fighters for them to deal with. Not to mention, Takara's magic levels were steadily depleting.

As Takara just barely avoided a sword to the face after being blinded by the light magic of one of the raiders, it dawned on her that she and Eijiro were definitely outnumbered by the this point.

"I think we need back up!" Takara exclaimed.

"Sure, but where is everyone?!" Eijiro shouted, pushing back another raider.

"I don't know, but I can try looking for them…!" Takara called the water back into her pouch and retreated some feet away from the fight. "Cover me a moment!"

Without losing a beat, Eijiro planted himself firmly between the raiders and his girlfriend. At this rate, though, Takara knew she would only have a few seconds. She closed her eyes and dropped to one knee, placing her palm against the ground. The chaos ensuing throughout the entire village rattled through the earth and into her palms, showing itself as only blurred images clashing against each other. She could barely tell one person from the other, but that wasn't acceptable.

Furrowing her brow, Takara clenched the earth beneath her fingertips and concentrated all her magical energy on finding even the slightest bit of meaning in the chaos.

There!

Three people, not retreating from the chaos but going against it! She couldn't afford to look deeper and identify who was who, but they were there, scattered throughout the village and likely about to be just as overwhelmed as Takara and Eijiro.

"I–!" Something slammed into Takara's waist, pulling her off the ground and away from three separate elemental attacks.

"We gotta retreat!" Eijiro shouted. He turned and barely managed to block a massive axe with one of his knives, arm still around Takara's waist.

"Right!" Takara quickly removed herself from her boyfriend's hold - she would have to thank him for the save later - and stepped back.

"I think I found everyone!" she said, called back her water into the form of a sword. "The closest one is only some hundred metres to the north-east!"

"Awesome, let's go!"

The two of them pushed back against their descending opponents, turned, and ran.

Takara lead the way, water sword gripped tightly in her hand in preparation for any unexpected attack. It was true, their closest party member was not all that far away, but that didn't mean she and Eijiro could make a straight beeline for them. The village was full of now more experienced raiders, and with the mental image of nearly everyone's position in the village still fresh in her mind, Takara did not want to waste any energy on literally bumping into another group of raiders.

They burst into the village center, and there Takara froze as she came face to face with a tall man bearing clawed hands and a mammalian bestial face.

"Oh?" The man focused his reflective eyes on Takara, spending chills down the girl's spine. "A village wench who's run the wrong way?" Too late, Takara thought to raise her sword, only for the man to grab it by the blade and raise his other hand in preparation to strike. "How unfortunate."

'Shit, shit, shit, what do I do?!'

Takara watched the hand coming down on her as though in slow motion. In a flash of panic and inspiration, she reeled back, about to slam her heel against the ground. Then, something red and roaring caught the corner of her eye. Eijiro had launched himself at the man, knives drawn and teeth bared in a snarl.

Takara had just enough time for two words to split across her mind - 'Oh, no…' - before her heel met the earth.

The earth swelled in response to the spell that had sent through it, throwing back anyone within Takara's immediate radius. It wasn't that powerful a spell, just a simple earth tremor, but Takara felt the consequences. She collapsed in tandem with the falling dust, magical energy very nearly spent.

"Interesting…"

Takara looked up, and her blood froze. The man was on top of Eijiro, knees pinning down the dragon boy's wrists, one hand embedding its claws in Eijiro's chest while the other released Takara's sword as it dissolved into water. He looked over at Takara.

"Not just a village wench then."

Swords, axes, maces, and spells all found their way aimed in Takara's direction as some of the raiders not currently attempting to break into the village houses sought to keep her down. The man looked down at Eijiro.

"And not just a foolish village hero."

Eijiro grit his teeth, arms tensing as he attempted to move. "Get off–!"

The claws shifted in his chest, and Eijiro cried out in pain. The man simply tilted his head curiously as he observed the patch of red scales his claws were currently gored into. It looked like Eijiro's defense mechanism hadn't been activated quick enough.

"Let him go!" Takara shouted, attempting to get up, only to be pushed back down by one of the surrounding raiders.

The man ignored her, instead speaking to Eijiro as both of them were also surrounded by a few cautious raiders. "You're a long way from home, dragon-child."

"Yeah," Eijiro ground out. "I left to find and take down assholes like you."

"And yet you haven't, despite your naturally immense bestial power. The ideals of a quest-goer are so constricting." The man began to search Eijiro's belt.

"Hey–!" Eijiro once again tried to fight back, only for the claws to be pushed a little deeper, prompting another shout of pain.

"Stop it!" Despite Takara's cry, she could do nothing to enforce it as the raiders surrounding her raised their weapons and/or prepared attacks in warning.

"I find all quest-goers, especially you young ones, to be an inconvenient irritation," the man continued. "But I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed I can't truly say I fought a dragon. Surely you're a disgrace to your people, being beaten like this."

"Shut up…!" Eijiro growled through grit teeth.

"Perhaps– Ah, here we are!" The man pulled Eijiro's coin purse - the coin purse - from his belt, the valuables contained within jingling distinctly. "No dragon would be without something of value!"

"Give it back!"

The man scoffed - "Oh, please." - and stood up. Eijiro immediately attempted to attack, only for several of the surrounding raiders to beat him down.

"Eijiro!" Takara screamed. She lurched forward, only for the flat of a sword blade to smack her in the face.

As she lay on the ground, clutching her face, Takara was vaguely aware of Eijiro shouting her name in between grunts of pain.

"You couldn't protect your lady friend, you couldn't defeat me or my raiding party, and you couldn't keep me from stealing your little valuables…" The man laughed mockingly. "You are a failure as a man, a quest-goer, and a dragon."

Something awakened in Takara, a rage similar to what she had felt when she had saved that village girl earlier.

"You…"

Digging deep into her nearly depleted reserves of magical energy, Takara stretched out her hand. The puddle of water that had been her sword rushed upwards, forming into a knife.

"...shut up!"

Takara pulled her hand back sharply. The water knife immediately obeyed her call, arcing downwards and neatly slicing open the back of the man's hand. The man dropped the coin purse with a shout of surprise and pain, and Takara caught her knife, only for it to instantly dissolve in her palm.

Slamming her now wet hand against the ground, Takara screamed, "He's more than you'll ever be! What the hell do you know?! You're just a thief who can't be bothered to take the hard road!"

"Takara…" Eijiro grunted, straining against the raiders and weapons now keeping him pinned down and appearing largely uninjured despite the beating he had just taken. Patches of red dragons scales covered his body, protecting him from any real damage, but doing little for him as he fought to escape.

The man bared his sharp teeth as he examined the slice on the back of his hand, and he turned on Takara, reflective eyes glowing in the fires still smoldering throughout the village. All of a sudden, Takara was very aware of just how vulnerable she was.

"Little wench. Why the hell is she still here?" the man snapped at those who were surrounding Takara. "Kill her or take her, I don't care."

"No!" Eijiro yelled. "Takara!"

Several pairs of hands grabbed Takara by the arms, pulling her upright. Fear shot through Takara's very bones, and she frantically called on any spell she had at her disposal, only to find herself completely devoid of magical energy. Well, that said nothing of her physical energy.

As the raiders dragged her back, away from the village center and away from Eijiro, Takara kicked and thrashed and screamed. "Let go of me!!"

"Takara!" Eijiro's voice sounded strained and frantic, and Takara could see him struggling in earnest against those who were keeping him down. "You take your hands off her!"

"Ah, it looks like another pretty thing has been stolen from you." The bestial raider, having regained his composure, scooped Eijiro's coin purse off the ground with a snide chuckle.

"Let her go!"

"Eijiro!" Takara cried out, fear becoming overtaken by panic as the distance between her and her boyfriend grew.

"You couldn't even be bothered to defend your little trove with every power at your disposal," the man said mockingly, pressing the sole of his shoe against Eijiro's head. "We might as well help ourselves to everything."

The raiders weren't dragging her away to kill her, Takara knew this, so that only left the one other option, the option that came with all manner of horrifying scenarios. Her whole body felt repulsed just thinking about it, and a sob escaped Takara's throat.

"Eijiro!"

Eijiro snarled, eyes flashing yellow. "I said let! Her! GO!!"

The boy's cry of rage deepened and gutturalized, until it lengthened into a bestial roar. Takara gasped, and even the raiders dragging her away froze and looked back.

They were met with the roaring maw of a large, red scaled dragon.

The raiders instantly went on the offensive, releasing Takara in the process, but the dragon made quick work of them, batting them aside with a flick of its claws.

"Eijiro…!" Takara said breathlessly.

The dragon curled around her protectively, knocking the roofs off a few houses in the process, and roared at the remaining raiders.

"Shit!" The man who had proven himself to be the head of the raiding party scrambled to his feet. "Take him down, quickly!"

All manner of long range attacks were thrown at Eijiro, only for all of them to bounce off his leathery wings as he draped them over Takara. The instant the attacks faded, Eijiro quickly spread his wings, knocking most everyone back with a wind gust. A few raiders were stupid enough to attempt charging Eijiro next. Takara, standing at Eijiro's chest, felt the air around her grow hot.

"No, Eijiro, wait!" she cried, but it was too late.

The charging raiders were met with Eijiro's firey breath, forcing them to retreat frantically. The flames instead relit the already smoldering remains of the houses on the edge of the village square and scorched the fountain in the centre. Takara was about to sigh in relief, only for something to whizz past her ear, and Eijiro to suddenly pull back with a sharp bellow.

"I got him!" one of the raiders shouted triumphantly.

"Eijiro!" Takara shouted in alarm, seeing that an arrow had, by some miracle, found its way into Eijiro's chest.

But that didn't make sense! A dragon's scales were veritably unbreakable, even at a young age, so how…?

'Oh, no.'

The claws embedded in Eijiro's chest earlier. They had left five wounds bored through his scales, still present even in his dragon form.

Eijiro shook himself, growling as his scales flared in an effort to release the unwanted intrusion. An automatic response that only left him that much more vulnerable.

"Now!"

Takara didn't know who shouted that, but the next thing she knew, she was engulfed in darkness and heard Eijiro release a guttural roar as he was hit with every attack at their opponents' disposal. The light returned when Eijiro retreated a little, pulling Takara back with a claw that was much more gentle than one would have expected from a dragon.

"Eijiro, are– Oh my word!" Takara exclaimed as she looked up at her bestial boyfriend.

Several knives and arrows stuck out from beneath Eijiro's scales, which flared and tensed sporadically, scorched and smoking in some places or just straight bleeding in others. Eijiro huffed and shook his head, crouching down defensively, teeth bared and eyes narrowed. Takara turned back and saw an army of raiders approaching. It seemed like every raider still standing had come to this fight now.

"Stay back!" Takara screamed, voice cracking slightly, either due to exhaustion or emotional strain. "Leave him alone!"

Eijiro pulled her a little closer, jaws snapping at the approaching raiders, but neither Takara's words nor Eijiro's aggression dettered the raiders. The man at the head of the group, the leader, wiped a bit of blood from his face, eyes flashing with annoyance and hatred. He didn't even say anything before he launched himself at Eijiro, claws out and teeth gnashing.

Takara could barely process what was happening anymore. She was aware of the constant clang of metal on scales, the flashes and rumbles of many magical attacks, the various shouts of alarm, warning, and, most frighteningly, triumph. She was aware of Eijiro's every shift in movement as he hovered over her, never once exposing her to the ensuing attack even as he attempted to fight back their ruthless opponents. He was slowing down, she knew it, she could practically feel it, and she could definitely hear it as his roars lessened in power, becoming guttural with pain.

"Stop it!" Takara yelled. "Stop!"

Who she was asking to stop, Takara didn't know. But with Eijiro so focused on protecting her, she didn't know how long he would actually be able to hold up…!

Then, a wonderfully familiar voice broke through the chaos.

"Get away from them!"

Metal clashed against metal, sounding almost dissonant in Takara's ears after having heard Eijiro's scales take the brunt of every attack for the past… minute? Five minutes? How long had it been since Eijiro had gone beast-mode? Hell, how long had it been since the raid started?

"Takara…!"

The one spoken to jerked back in alarm, hands instinctively looking to cast a spell despite her depleted magical energy levels.

"Oh, Tsu…!" Relief flooded Takara's every nerve.

She had been hopeful when heard Izuku's voice, but actually seeing one of her friends standing in front of her... Takara pulled Tsuyu into a tight hug, drawing a 'ribbit' of surprise from the frog faced girl.

There was a harsh huff from above, and Takara pulled back from the hug to look up at Eijiro. He definitely looked worse, scales quivering and pupils dilating as he stumbled a litte, still hovering defensively over Takara. He began to shrink. Red scales faded into tan skin, bestial features favoring more human ones, until soon an injured boy stood in place of an injured dragon.

"Eijiro!" Takara darted forward, and she and Tsuyu caught him before he collapsed.

"H-Hey, Takara…" Eijiro lifted his head, a weak but genuine grin on his face. "I just realized…"

He winced as the two girls eased him onto the ground. Takara wrapped a gentle arm around Eijiro's shoulders, careful not to aggravate his wounds or let him fall back onto the knives and arrows still sticking out of him.

"What's wrong?" Takara asked timorously.

"I just realized…" Eijiro looked at her through the one eye that didn't currently have blood dripping over it. "You're literally a treasure."

"...What?"

Eijiro laughed a little, sounding inappropriately dopey for someone who was bleeding everywhere. "It's, like, in your name right? 'Takara.' 'Treasure.' So you're literally 'treasure.' It's crazy how much that fits, considering– Ow!"

"Ah! Eijiro, I'm sorry!" Having momentarily forgotten the situation, Takara had swatted Eijiro on the shoulder, right where a burn marked his flesh. "I'm so, so, so sorry! I–"

Takara waved her hands frantically, unsure of whether to risk touching him again even as he began to fall back due to lack of support. Fortunately, Tsu caught him with a 'ribbit', taking Takara's place in supporting Eijiro. Takara buried her face in her hands.

"You idiot…!" she groaned, voice cracking. "You nearly died! Are you seriously trying to flirt with me right now?!"

Eijiro chuckled, prompting Takara to lift her face even as she felt tears spill their way down her face.

"Sorry. But look, I'm all right…!" He gave a thumbs up, only to tense with a hiss of pain.

"I disagree," Tsu said concernedly, making him lower his arm. "You look way worse than you should for someone who's a dragon."

"Hey, I'm a dragon…!" Eijiro exclaimed in faux defensiveness. "I'm sworn to protect my treasure, right?"

He turned his good eye on Takara with a grin.

"You're flirting again, Kirishima," Tsuyu pointed out.

Takara let out some sound resembling both a laugh and a sob. She rubbed the back of her hand over her face and moved a little closer to her boyfriend.

"It's fine…" she murmured, taking his face gently in her hands a planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Oh, woah, Kirishima…!"

Takara looked up to see Izuku running up to them, with Momo not far behind. They both appeared a little worn and tired, but otherwise perfectly fine, especially compared to Eijiro.

"You look terrible!" Momo exclaimed, sheathing her sword as she dropped to her knees in front of them.

"That's a little harsh," Eijiro said with a tired chuckle.

Though wanting very much to continue holding her boyfriend, Takara forced herself to move aside a bit so Momo could get a good look at him.

"Did you two deal with the raiders?" Tsu directed her question at Momo and Izuku as she let Takara retake her place in supporting Eijiro.

"We managed to fight them all off," Momo confirmed as she spread Eijiro's vest a little to get a better look at the injuries to his chest.

(Takara felt an irrational spike of jealousy that she quickly stomped down).

"What, all of them?" Eijiro exclaimed in surprise.

"We probably wouldn't have been able to do it hadn't been for you, Kirishima," Izuku said, voice high with admiration and encouragement as he sheathed his own sword. "Your fight left them all too weak to really fight back against me and Yaoyorozu."

"Ah, I didn't do much, I was just tryin' to protect Takara and kinda gettin' my ass handed to me while I was at it…"

"Shut up, you were doing just fine," Takara muttered, resisting the urge to hug him and instead pressing her head against his.

"And it was worth it," Eijiro concluded, returning Takara's gesture.

"You're lucky to have those dragon powers of yours," Momo said with a bite of admonishment. "These injuries would have likely killed a normal person ten times over…!"

"I don't go down easily."

"You were just talking about how you were getting beaten by those raiders," Tsuyu said.

"Well…! Yeah, but still…!" Eijiro tried to laugh off his embarrassment, but the laugh quickly turned to coughs.

"Kirishima…!" Izuku exclaimed concernedly, stepping forward.

"He will be okay, right?" Takara asked Momo as she tried to keep Eijiro steady.

"We should get him back to camp," their party's second in command asserted with poorly hidden concern. "I just hope we have enough supplies to–"

"Is that the dragon-person?"

The question had everyone except Eijiro, who was trying to catch his breath, looking up. The villagers were emerging from their houses and shops. They approached the young quest-goers, many of their eyes on the injured boy on the ground.

"I didn't think I would ever see one all the way out here."

"He managed to fight all those raiders…!"

The murmurs of the villagers mostly seemed to revolve around Eijiro and their awe at his power as they essentially surrounded the small group.

"Um, hello," Izuku said nervously.

Eijiro finally looked up, eyes a bit cloudy. "Oh, hey, where'd all these people come from…?"

A village girl that Takara recognized as the one she had saved from that one raider at the start of the battle (wow, that seemed like forever ago), emerged from the crowd, eyes bright as she exclaimed, "Thank you so much for protecting our village, quest-goers!"

"Especially that dragon kid!" another villager shouted.

"Who, me?" Eijiro blinked.

"You did manage to fight almost the entire raiding party single-handedly, and if it hadn't been for your conspicuousness, I don't think the rest of us would have been able to regroup with you and Takara," Tsuyu said.

"How could we ever repay you?" one of the older villagers asked.

Everyone's first instinct was to say that it was no problem, that they had only been looking to help, that they didn't need a reward…

"But maybe some medical supplies…?" Takara said hesitantly.

"And some food and other supplies..." Tsuyu added.

"And something to help us carry our friend back to our camp would be nice," Momo finished, playing bashfully with the tips of her gauntlets.

Despite their embarrassment and hesitancy, they received just that and more. Takara soon found herself sitting in the back of a small horse-drawn wagon, surrounded by supplies of various sorts, watching over Eijiro as he slowly began to doze off on her shoulder

"C'mon, stay awake," Takara pleaded. "I don't want you falling asleep until we know you'll be all right."

"I'll be fine, babe," Eijiro murmured, words slurring a little. "But if you really want me to…" He blinked hard and turned a little to look up at her, some concern in his eyes. "Are you all right…? Those raiders didn't…"

"I just have a few cuts and bruises, but it's nothing I can't walk off."

'Unlike you,' she thought, though she didn't say anything more on the subject.

Instead, she squeezed one of his hands and sighed, "I'm sorry about your little treasure trove. I know it meant a lot to you."

There was a small stretch of silence.

"I guess, but I'm honestly more disappointed that leader guy bolted with the rest of his goons. And after all that big talk he was throwin' around…" Eijiro scoffed, then smiled a little. "'Sides, you're worth way more than a purse full'a shiny things."

Takara returned the smile, then hugged him as close as she could without hurting him. "That's sweet. But please don't hurt yourself like that ever again, okay…?"

"Hey, you're my treasure," Eijiro said, still a little cheeky despite his slurring words. "And I'm a dragon."

"My dragon," Takara asserted, voice both lighthearted and genuine. "I'm swearing to protect you too, y'know?"

"That's fair. Okay. Let's protect each other."

He clumsily shifted his arms to bump his fists together, and Takara couldn't help but laugh. She turned to press a kiss against the side of his head.

"...Thank you," she murmured.

There was more in those two words than she could ever hope to express.

[the-bounce-back]

THE CONFIDENCE CHRONICLES PART I - CONFIDENCE IN THE WORKPLACE

First of all… yes, I know I said I’d spend more time writing and have this out a week after my previous post. But to be honest… I say a lot of things, and a lot of those things are pure rubbish. I’m here now, stop crying.

I’m joking, before anyone gets triggered. Life really just kept getting in the way - word to my girl Gabriella Montez. There’s been a lot going on that has had me in my feelings, and as mentioned in earlier posts I don’t particularly like writing when I’m feeling like I want to get hit by a bus. But hey, on the bright side it’s given me loads of topic ideas to write about at a later stage, so, you know… silver linings and that.

Anyways. As mentioned briefly in my previous post, I have decided to do a series of posts entirely dedicated to building your self-confidence in different aspects in life. The series will consist of five slightly shorter “bite-sized” posts, that will outline various methods, mindsets, exercises and thought processes to apply to everyday life - all of which have been crucial to myself in my own confidence jOuRnEy.

I’ve decided to do this series for a whole load of reasons, the main ones being the following:

1. For the first time in my adult life I can genuinely say that I am getting to be comfortable with who I am, what I’m doing and where I’m going (for the most part) - a feeling that I genuinely want others to experience as well.

2. Unlearning years of self-hate, constant self-criticism and your brain telling you that you’re not worthy enough/smart enough/good enough to achieve what you want to achieve is a disgustingly long and heartbreaking task. I really wish I had something to guide me along the way, but I think I’ll find comfort in knowing that someone might read this and not feel as alone during their own process.

3. Although we all have insecurities about different things, that sh*t can really isolate us and make us feel abnormal and alone. I’m hoping that writing about how I overcame/am in the process of overcoming my insecurities will aid in destigmatising these kind of feelings as a whole.

With that being said, my first post in this series will be about confidence in the workplace. Starting with the easy stuff, so to speak.

I realised recently that it’s been quite a while since I’ve given any kind of indication of how work is going, which is actually one of the main reasons why I relocated to London in the first place. My previous posts discuss a lot of the anxiety leading up to it, and my post about giving yourself accolades (again, read it here because it’s some of my best work) discusses how I forced myself to cast my humility aside in my job interview to appear more confident. This post will kind of be an elaboration on this, as I have settled in to my role and have developed this confidence further.

I’ve been at this job for a little over four months now, and a lot has changed since I was sat there in that interview making myself come across as I had Kanye levels of self-confidence and like I wasn’t absolutely bricking it. Despite it probably being the maddest test of my resilience to stress and pressure since exam season in 3rd year, I really am enjoying it in the sense that I am being challenged on a daily basis, I have a lot of freedom in terms of how I organise my work, and I have excellent means to stay motivated to keep working towards a promotion. As far as what I was rambling on about in my interview goes - this is exactly what I wanted from my new role.

However - as I should have anticipated, expectations almost definitely always significantly stray from reality. I think that the largest reason for my confidence wavering a few weeks into the position was definitely due to the shock of how different it was from the expectations I had conjured up in my head, and there was a period of a few weeks where I seriously started to question if I was cut out for this type of work. Consider your girl humbled.

I think the biggest shock was how fast-paced, loud and energised the working environment was - this is obviously a good thing, but considering the way both my mental state and general energy levels have been these past few months I think it’s all just been quite overwhelming, and probably ended up making me feel like I didn’t have the drive and motivation required to be successful within the organisation.

In other words… I was having a bit of a weak-b*tch-with-an-inferiority-complex moment. How embarrassing and sauceless.

Anyways, that’s all over now - I’ve been able to reevaluate my approach to the role and how to tAkE cOnTrOl of my situation by establishing a few things to be mindful of while I’m at work - small things that have really made a big difference for me, and might be able to help you feel more secure and confident in your role, too.

1, Remember that everyone there has been in your position.

So you all know by now that I’m a sucker for clichés - because they’re always true. On my first day at my new job I felt so intimidated by the size of the office, the amount of employees, the fact that my senior sales manager literally sits two desks away from me… literally everything felt so overwhelming. Not necessarily in a bad way, but my mind was definitely in overdrive from the vast amount of information. That, along with my insecurities of being the New Person™ and not knowing anything about the lingual services industry - and having to have a 1on1 meeting with the regional director within 3 hours of being in the office.

What got me through that first week of awkwardness and feeling like a complete idiot was constantly reiterating to myself that I’m definitely not the first and definitely not the last to be in this position, that I will learn tHe RoPeS over time and that we all have to start somewhere. I know this doesn’t sound like a ground-breaking epiphany, but as someone that is used to understanding/catching on to to things very quickly, not knowing what the f*ck was going on definitely swayed my confidence at the time. I used to proper hate being the only person not knowing how things work, and constantly having to ask for help - but I’ve managed to flip it around and make it a confidence booster, instead. This, in the sense that I’ve acknowledged my drive and determination to not be the clueless new person, and to excel within my field by asking loads of questions and forcing myself out of my comfort zone. Doing this successfully has definitely made me more secure and appreciative of my learning abilities, and this confidence definitely hasn’t gone unnoticed by upper management.

This even relates back to points made in previous posts - learning to be kind and patient with yourself and learning to not freak out when you’re not in control of a situation. Additionally, I confidently leaned on one of my main selling points that I discovered when evaluating my suitability for this kind of job - my ability to learn new things fast, and my ability to adapt to a new situation.

Look at me, taking my own advice for once. You know what that is? Growth. I have to stan.

2. Eliminate tentativeness when you communicate with others - regardless of seniority.

This is definitely a psychological aspect of confidence more than anything. Regardless of if you work in a soulless corporation or one of those mOdErN organisations that swears that they don’t have a hierarchical structure, chances are you have a person or multiple people that you report to.

I began to notice that the combination of not being knowledgeable of this industry and now having to report directly to senior managers that have been in the industry for over a decade made me feel very insecure about having to ask for help or even asking questions in general, because I felt that I was wasting their valuable time with things that I felt that I should have known already. As in, really industry-specific things that would’ve been really weird if I had known them at the time.

To combat this feeling, I forced myself to remember that these senior managers - after stripping away their years of experience, industry knowledge and fancy titles - are human as well, and definitely were in my position at some point. Remembering that even the CEO was once a bumbling and confused idiot like myself at one point definitely aided me in seeing the bigger picture - that without investing in recruitment, training and mentoring of new people, the future of the company is literally f*cked. The recognition of this fact definitely almost eliminated my inferiority complex, and I was able to see senior managers as equals with a lot of valuable advice and knowledge, instead of these terrifying looming dementors that were waiting for me to mess up and fire me.

So, how does this relate to eliminating tentativeness when communicating with others?

I’m glad you asked. In corporate settings, internal communication and project coordination is predominantly done over emails, and where I work almost all communications have senior managers in cc in order to provide visibility into what is happening - good or bad. Obviously I could go on for ages about how to feel more confident in having so many high-up people within the company watching your every move, but really and truly there’s only one thing that I’ve been doing that I feel is worth mentioning:

I removed the word “just” from my vocabulary.

That is, in the context of when I’m asking a question or asking for help, e.g.:

“I’m just wondering if…”

“I’m just double checking that…”

“I just wanted to ask…”

If you read those beginnings of sentences out loud, you’ll probably hear that using the word “just” inserts a sense of tentativeness, submissiveness and insecurity in one's own knowledge. Furthermore, it makes you come across as apologetic for doing your job properly or asking questions - which is obviously ridiculous.

I’m know that removing the word “just” from my vocabulary probably has little to no effect on how upper management sees me, but that’s not really the point here. The point is that when I make a conscious effort to not utilise the word, I’m very self-aware in the sense that I’m choosing to come across as more assertive and confident - which has lead me to feel more comfortable when I’m communicating with those higher up in the organisation than me.

It’s a very small change, but it has definitely affected my confidence and assertiveness in my role. The power of a simple word, eh? The mind boggles.

3. Evaluate exactly what you want to get out of this job, and do something every day that will get you closer to this goal.

This is definitely the most important point for me. For the first time in my life, I’m in a job that I genuinely see myself staying at and progressing within - and there’s plenty of opportunities, concrete targets and support to keep me motivated enough to keep grinding towards a promotion. I genuinely want to excel within the company (at least for the time being - who knows how I’ll feel a few months down the line?), and the feeling of being sure of that has made me a lot more confident alone.

Of course, not everyone is at a stage in their career where they feel like a promotion within the company they work for is the ultimate goal. The fact of the matter is that some jobs are solely means to an end for other unrelated goals, like saving up for something or to get work experience for the job you actually want. Either way, I strongly believe that knowing the purpose for even going to work every day in the first place gives you this deep-rooted determination, motivation and resilience to workplace bullsh*t that ends up manifesting itself as confidence.

Put it this way - if you know exactly what you are working towards in this specific role, there really shouldn’t be anything that can sway you from achieving this (assuming that you want it enough). Going into work on at least a majority of days (because let’s face it, sometimes you just want to have a chill at work) with a mission of doing something that will get you closer to your goal will not only help you stay focused on completing the tasks, but will also give you the ability to not let minor conflicts and “hiccups” along the way get to you. Trust me, you won’t even have the energy to worry about what other people are doing - and personally speaking, being this set in your own lane does wonders for feeling insecure.

Of course, it is slightly difference for those who aren’t entirely sure what their next move is, and that are doing a job for the sole purpose of paying bills and staying fed. I feel that a lot of people - myself in the past included - let the lack of direction really get to them and end up in a very destructive rut of just existing without finding their purpose, and letting it break down their self-esteem along the way. However, I honestly feel that being in this kind of position can - and should - be seen as an opportunity for growth and fInDiNg YoUrSelF outside of work. Yes, figuring out what you want to do is incredibly daunting, but I think that we often make the mistake in assuming that the path we choose is the path we have to stay on for the rest of our lives. No pressure.

With that being said, working a job you don’t care about can still be empowering and confidence-boosting in the sense that you know for a fact that once you know what you want to do, you can easily just walk away from it without feeling that you’ve made a mistake. There is something very powerful in knowing that you can just drop everything and leave at any second as soon as you’ve had enough of it, and I’ve even promised myself to apply this to my current job if I ever change my mind about it. Life’s too short to do sh*t you don’t want to do.

Anyways, there you have it - three mindsets that I’ve applied to my career plans that have made me feel a lot more confident when making decisions in the workplace. Hopefully you’ve been able to take something away from it, and that you know that you’re capable of achieving anything you wish to pursue career-wise if you’re willing to put in hard work, and committed to being happy with the direction your life is going.

Love,

Liv

[ambiguousfool]

What I learned...

...from writing a CatrAdora fic: So, with the completion of Forgiveness Has A Price, I learned a hell of a lot as a new writer. And, by new, I mean, I’ve only started writing about two and a half years ago with KiGo. My first KiGo fic was absolutely horrendous. Just, I didn’t know what I was doing. I was aiming for cute eroticism and what came out was male-gazey smut. THAT’S NOT WHO I WANT TO BE and I learned from it. But it didn’t stop there. I didn’t know how to tell a story. Pacing, vocabulary, describing a scene, it was all just a giant mess. And literally, every day, I think about pulling that fic off the net. It’s SO cringe-worthy. It brings me shame and YET it absolutely shows me how I’ve grown. And I continue to read other fics, I see that I still have more room to grow. I’m getting there and I’ll keep setting bigger and better goals.

Here’s how I’ve changed my writing style with Forgiveness Has A Price versus my other fics:

1. Stress - I used to stress the fuck out trying to discern what the hell I was doing wrong with my older fics. I kept wanting to shape my story around what the audience wanted because I really wanted the attention and give them a good story. I tried to make dialogue more consistent, I tried to make it more humorous, I tried to make it sad and angsty. I obsessed over chapter stats (I still totally do but differently). I stressed so much over it that I stopped writing because it was keeping me up at night. I decided to take a break with SPOP Reboot and immediately after I watched ep13, I had a MIGHTY NEED to write again. With Forgiveness Has A Price, I stopped caring. I had a story in me and I couldn’t stop writing. I got up to the third chapter before I posted my chapter 01 draft on FFNet. I had absolutely 0 expectation that it would get any attention or appreciation. Posted it, went to sleep thinking that I’d get like maybe 10 hits tops, woke up, and HOLY CRAP, those numbers soared. In other words, just write. Fan-fiction is a fantastic medium to practice and get feedback. It’s the best-est place to fail. And that’s really the other part of it. BE OKAY WITH FAILING - BECAUSE YOU WILL - AND THAT’S OKAY!

2. Style - My writing style significantly changed. In my head, characters won’t stop talking. In my other fics, dialogue was something that I tried to capture a lot. Too much, really. You know what they say, SHOW the reader whats going on, don’t TELL them. It was a concept I understood, but didn’t know how to execute. I felt successful in doing a much better job of executing with my CatrAdora fic. From my perspective, dialogue isn’t bad, but it should NOT drive the story. Dialogue is good when paired with visual mediums, like tv or graphic novels/comics. But even so, too much can kill it. It is SO MUCH BETTER to say, “they had a heated argument over who forgot to turn off the stove. The costs for repairs and the embarrassment was already too much for the both of them. They went to bed in separate rooms and was confident it was their own fault but could not bring themselves to admit it,” than it is to actually have two or three pages of back and forth argument. This used to be my mistake.

3. Senses - You’ve got five senses and it’s likely your characters do too. And not only that, they have emotions. The core of  your characters personality is what they feel and how they deal with it. One of biggest faults in my previous fics that I felt I did a much better job with FHAP was that I painted a better scenery and I let you in on how the characters felt. Before, I let the dialogue set the tone of the character’s energies and rarely did I describe what was happening. Catra is a great character to work with because she has so many visible ways to show her emotions, dilated eyes, twitch of the ears, bushing of a tail, etc. This doesn’t mean human characters are impossible. We do so many hand gestures, facial expressions, eye rolls, fidgeting, foot taps, scratch, breathing different ways, we express so much and it’s amazing how much we don’t capture in a story. A lot of writing, I think, becomes really great when you act as the character in the story. That’s why I only do it when I’m alone. I look REALLY weird when I write because I’m doing the eye roll, sneers, turning of the head, saying the phrases, glaring, nose twitches, etc. And that’s the stuff you want to capture, what’s your hair doing, did your necklace get caught on a neck hair? Did you have a weird reaction? Neck Pop? All of these make your characters more alive. 

4. Scene - Okay I’m noticing all these bullet points start with “S”.... Anyway, another mistake of the past was that I did a crappy job in describing what the environment was like. This goes a lot with number 3 because you need to use the senses to describe a scene with a non-visual medium. I used to be like, “she held the wooden box” like, great but that is so vague. I could have said “old box” and that might have told you more, but it’s far better to describe what the character felt, both physically and emotionally (if applicable) when holding it. “A catch in her breath. It had been so long. She traced her finger over the faded, blue paint where she used to open and close the lid as a child. Each time, always a magical moment to hear the music play. The familiar creak of the pin being released when it open. It seemed to punch abruptly from its lack of use, and kicking off a plume of dust inside. Then those notes squeezed her heart and she watched those three ballerina bears dance in place. A picture of Mom taped in the inside of the lid. Tears streamed down her face as she hugged it close.”

5. Fail - HEY, NOT AN ‘S’ I’m going to say it again: BE OKAY WITH FAILING - BECAUSE YOU WILL - AND THAT’S OKAY! We learn in a lot of different ways. Failure can REALLY help. Don’t stress over it. Don’t get offended. Sometimes you’ll get those shitty reviews and instead of engaging with negativity, try to discern if the person is just a shitty person or figure out what they were expecting. The one word that REALLY opened my eyes was the word “Consider.” I owe a lot of improvement to one reviewer who said, Consider the action of this character after doing this but it seems what you did was this. At first I was like, well you’re just not seeing--  wait, he’s got a point. How is he supposed to know what my vision is if I don’t tell him. Writing, like any art, is an iterative process. The more you do it, the more that part of your skill gets better. And while WRITING A LOT is very important, READ  A LOT is also a necessity. Learn from the already masters. Clark Ashton Smith and Robert Chambers were my big eye openers at the time. But you know, maybe check out some Rita Mae Brown and some Harper Bliss. Or go George Orwell or Jane Austen. There’s a ton of great authors and a lot of different ways to tell a story. You won’t know how unless you read a lot.