#<- closer to a genuinely useful reading; in general any elimination of the idea of the exceptional racist re: lovecraft is necessary ->

[iphigeniacomplex]

[It] is possible to perceive Howard Lovecraft as an almost unbearably sensitive barometer of American dread. Far from outlandish eccentricities, the fears that generated Lovecraft's stories and opinions were precisely those of the white, middle-class, heterosexual, Protestant-descended males who were most threatened by the shifting power relationships and values of the modern world. Though he may have regarded himself, in accordance with the view held of him by his readership and even those that knew him personally, as an embodiment of his most emblematic fable, "The Outsider," in his frights and panics he reveals himself as that almost unheard-of fluke statistical phenomenon, the absolutely average man, an entrenched social insider unnerved by new and alien influences from without.

Alan Moore's introduction to The New Annotated H.P. Lovecraft

[kindahoping4forever]

...Ready For It? // Ashton Irwin

Thank you to everyone who said they wanted to read this story, whether it was in the poll I posted 12 hours ago or when I first posted In My Dreams... You Should See The Things We Do back in June (!) - I actually started working on this not that long after I posted and while the skeleton concept stayed the same, everything else was kind of fluid until last month when I finally felt satisfied with it. As always, thank you to @cal-puddies​ for listening to me whine and obsess over every detail and for (virtually) slapping me upside the head every time I said I was going to just scrap it (and there were many times, trust.)

Note this is a sequel but I think there’s enough context within this piece that you’d be able to enjoy as a standalone if you haven’t read or forgot what happened during In My Dreams...

Warnings: Sexual tension, frustration and resolution. I couldn’t figure out how to do specific warnings without also spoiling the narrative (yes, really) so this is kind of a blanket fluffy smut warning. The sex is explicit in detail but not extreme in nature. ‘Tis a soft, dirty story you’re about to read. Also yes, Ash wears the mountain pants again and no, I will not apologize. 

Word Count: 10,555

Masterlist // Ko-Fi and New 2021 Taglist linked above

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

“I can’t say this is how I imagined getting you out of your clothes for the first time but after months of isolation, I’ll take what I can get,” you quip.

Ashton giggles as he peels off his button down shirt, leaving him in a classic white tank. “I can’t say anything about tonight has gone the way I imagined it would,” he confesses. “I’m sorry things have been kind of a bust.”

You try not to blatantly ogle his muscular build as you playfully jab, “You mean, you didn’t spend all that time longing for us to spend hours waiting outside a restaurant for a socially distant table only to be turned away because now it’s closing time and ending up having to eat drive thru burgers in the backseat of your car?”

“With ketchup dripping all over one of my best shirts? And you saving the day with a suspiciously convenient stain remover pen?” He riffs, passing his top to you.

“Exactly how I pictured it,” you shrug, dabbing at his shirt with the aforementioned magic pen.  “Shame, our fantasies tend to match up a lot better than this.”

You’d never thought much of long distance relationships and you especially never thought you’d find yourself in one with only a few miles separating you but 2020 had been full of surprises; getting to know Ash had turned out to be the silver lining in an otherwise terrible year. 

You’ve each reflected on it plenty and agreed it seems as if your connection was destined to see you both through this strange period. You met at the last party you were invited to before quarantine started, you ran into each other again at the last concert either of you got to attend. Your first date was also your final restaurant meal, the last time you went to a movie was with a group of mutual friends and you sat next to him, giggling like a teenager, intentionally brushing his fingers in the popcorn tub.

When the stay at home order was issued, it didn’t take long for you to check in with each other and while it wasn’t an easy time, you were grateful to build a bond with literally no outside influence. And now after countless texted inside jokes, heart to heart phone calls (and more than a few naughty ones), restrictions had been relaxed and you were finally able to reunite. Only the real world is proving to be a bit more complicated than either of you remember.

“You know, I’m not usually a ‘hop in the backseat on a first date’ kind of gal, but this is pretty fun,” you joke.

Ashton grins. “If it makes you feel any better, I think technically this is maybe our third or fourth date?”

“Anything pre-quarantine doesn’t count,” you shake your head insistently. “That was a lifetime ago, another world. I cook now, I go for walks, I do crosswords now. Whoever you went out with in The Before Times - I don’t know her.”

His loud laugh fills the car and the warmth of it overwhelms you; after months of hearing it through a speaker, you can’t believe you’re finally getting to witness it in person. 

"So if we’re starting over at square one, then what’s the explanation for that kiss you laid on me when I picked you up?” He teases.

“I’m a complex woman, I feel like you should know that by now,” you reply with a coy shrug, handing him his now stain free shirt.

The two of you finish your meals, chatting happily and making non-stop jokes about what a fail your date was. You’re relieved at how natural things are flowing; you knew there was undeniable chemistry but part of you was still nervous about getting used to being around each other - another person, even - again. But beyond the standard date jitters, things were comfortable and familiar.

Your anxiety briefly returns as he pulls the car into your driveway. Of course you want to invite him in, you’ve been waiting so long to invite him in but things just feel… off. You turn, ready to offer an apologetic goodnight but before you get a chance, he’s turning to look at you sheepishly.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but would you mind if we maybe called it a night?” He rushes out, nervously running a hand through his hair. You watch him, fascinated. You’re still not used to how long his hair got in quarantine and you’re definitely not used to seeing him bashful. “I know we joked about it and I appreciate you being cool about everything but I really did want to give you the night out you deserve… and that just didn’t happen. I’d like to try again.”

Your heart swells at his sincerity; he’d always been so genuine and open over the phone, but it’s almost overwhelming experiencing it while he’s looking into your eyes. “Have I never told you that ketchup stains are one of my biggest turn ons?” You tease, hoping to ease some of his obvious embarrassment. “Hey, we’ve waited this long, what’s a little bit longer?”

A little bit longer ends up being the following weekend. It turns out, coming up with romantic and yet responsibly distanced date ideas is harder than either of you thought. With you both having the luxury of working from home and generally not having to venture out unless absolutely necessary, you both decide you’re most comfortable with eliminating the public out of the equation as much as you can.

You settle on a short hike followed by a picnic and when you open your front door you realize just how unprepared you are for the concept of Morning Ash. You smile to yourself as you realize that he must have overslept as his face is still adorably puffy from sleeping, hair still wet from the shower. Yesterday’s five o’clock shadow is still present - he must have been running so late he had to forego his morning shave. The thought of waking up next to him looking like this pops into your mind, that soon you could be the reason he’s running late in the morning and your stomach actually drops.

You push your thoughts aside as you move to greet him with a hug; his cologne is prominent and obviously freshly sprayed and you think to yourself that you're excited to smell like him for the rest of the day.

“Got a surprise for you in the car,” he murmurs.

You’re in the middle of wondering how he makes even a simple white t-shirt look devastating when he opens the passenger door for you. Before you even climb in, you’re instantly greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and breakfast burritos and he chuckles at the way your face lights up. 

“Flowers seemed too formal for a morning date, I figured caffeine and grease was just as nice.” 

“I’ve never felt more seen by a partner,” you smile, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a sweet, slow kiss. 

You start to pull away to get in the car but Ashton snakes his arms around you and draws you back in for a few more smooches. “Figure we should get as many of these in as we can now, those burritos are no joke,” he laughs.

It’s a bit of a drive to get to a hiking trail that seemed unlikely to be crowded but you don’t mind. After months of waiting to be in this man’s presence, the more time you can spend with him the better. The trip passes quickly, with the two of you basking in each other’s company, play-arguing over playlists and agreeing that “when this is all over” you should plan a road trip together.

“Looks like we’ve got the place to ourselves,” he observes, pulling the car into the empty lot. He’s first out of the car and you hear a distinct “UGH” from him as soon as he steps out. He sees your puzzled look through the windshield as he walks around to your side to open your door. “I didn’t expect it to be so fuckin’ hot,” he explains.

You get out and instantly scrunch up your face as a gust of hot wind breezes over you. “Well, we did travel more inland, I guess it makes sense it’d be a little warmer,” you reason. 

You commiserate about the weather and then Ash starts gathering your things from the trunk of the car, taking non-essentials out of your backpacks since the heat is going to make your hike a lot less leisurely than planned. 

Despite the weather, the first portion of your hike is nice: you stroll and talk, enjoying the scenery and your time together. Ashton brought his camera with him and you catch him sneaking a few photos of you along the trail so you teasingly start snapping an excessive amount of pics of him using your phone.

As you get closer to the area you planned on stopping at for lunch, the heat starts getting more and more intense. The morning clouds have now dissipated and the sun is bright and unrelenting, causing the conversation to drag as you both start breathing a little more labored, focusing on getting to your stopping point as quickly as possible. It takes a lot longer than expected and by the time you reach your picnic spot, you’re both exhausted and covered in sweat.

You spread a blanket on the ground and immediately throw yourself on it, grateful for a chance to rest. You look up and see Ash peeling off his t-shirt and draping it over a rock in hopes it will dry before you have to head back.

Normally you’d be silently reprimanding yourself for staring at his bare flesh on display but truthfully all you’re thinking about is how much skin he’s exposing to the sun. “Think we left the sunscreen in the car,” you declare, sitting up to dig through your stuff. “As much as I’m enjoying the show, you’re gonna get fried if you don’t throw that back on.”

He sprawls out on the blanket next to you. “We’re shaded, it’ll be fine,” he insists, pulling his sweat-soaked hair back with a rubber band from his wrist.

The picnic is pleasant but far from the romantic adventure you’d envisioned. You’d hoped the two of you would be laughing under a tree, eating a delicious meal as an equally delicious breeze grazes your skin. The reality is the two of you sitting in silence because you’re so uncomfortable under the unforgiving sunshine, eating food that you would’ve preserved better had you known about the weather, as a hot wind scorches your skin. The part of you that had fantasized about sneaking in a heated makeout can’t get enough of the irony that this date is definitely heated, just not in the way it should’ve been.

With the peak temperature of the day still to come, you agree to call it and head for the car already; Ash puts his shirt back on and you notice him wincing as he moves his obviously sunburned skin, but you choose to say nothing.

The trek back is quiet, both of you physically drained and a bit mentally defeated at yet another date gone awry. At one point, you stop in a shaded area to catch your breath and you give him a quick kiss. “Had fun,” you say quietly. He offers you a soft smile in return.

The drive home is equally lowkey, the discontent and exhaustion of the day filling where there should be sexual tension. He knows the mood has deflated considerably so he doesn’t even ask you to come back to his, he just drives you home. 

The car pulls into your driveway and you turn to him. “Think we’re cursed or something?” Your voice is joking but he can detect the undertone of worry.

Ash gives you a bright smile that’s instantly a comfort. “Nah… maybe cursed with too much ambition and insufficient planning skills but I have no doubt this is exactly where I’m meant to be.” He reaches for your hand, interlacing your fingers and kissing your knuckles.

He walks you to your door and gives you a long kiss that almost has you reconsidering inviting him in. “We got this,” he whispers. 

You ruffle his hair. “I’ve also got aloe you can borrow for these sunburns, how are you even able to move?” You laugh, unlocking your door.

A few days pass before either of you broach the subject of another date; you’re finally the one to bring it up and you both agree on a simple dinner at home for the next night.

“Third time’s a charm, right?” You joke as he opens the door.

He draws you in for a slow kiss as you step inside. You murmur when you feel his facial hair brush against you; his beard is fuller than when you last saw him and you suspect he may have quit shaving simply based on the reaction you’d had to the look on your date. “Well, we’re already off to a good start, I’d say,” he comments against your lips.

You’ve only ever seen Ashton’s house in the background of your video chats and when he notices you looking around with fascination, he excitedly offers to give you a tour. You swear you can actually hear your heart going pitter patter as he proudly escorts you around, sharing funny memories about his friends involving each room or telling elaborate stories about different trinkets he owns. You can tell he’s missed entertaining people in his home and you’re so happy that you’re able to fill that void for him tonight.

You follow him to the kitchen. “Smells amazing, must be quite the dish,” you tease, knowing full well you sent him the “secret” recipe for your grandma’s spaghetti sauce the night before. He pokes at you and you giggle, “Anything I can do to help?”

“The groceries should be delivered any minute,” he answers, checking his phone. “There’s gloves and sanitizer wipes under the sink if you don’t mind taking care of that when it arrives.”

A few minutes later, you peck his cheek as you pass by to go outside and tend to your assignment. Ash nearly spirals when it’s discovered that the shopper made some substitutions without asking but you reassure him that dinner’s not ruined even if the sauce uses regular sugar instead of brown and will be poured over fettuccine noodles instead of spaghetti. 

“Not to jinx anything but I think this is our best first date yet,” you joke after dinner, getting out two coffee mugs from the cabinet he’d directed you to.

“All we had to do was eliminate the variables: other people, the weather, the outside world in general,” he ticks off the list on his fingers with a smile.

You hit the brew button on the coffeemaker and slide closer to where he stands loading the dishwasher. “Well. Just proves that all we really need is each other,” you muse, with a sweet smile. He grins at you, drying his hands so that he can cradle your face and kiss you. His hands are soft from the soap he just used and you sigh approvingly into his mouth as his thumb draws circles on your cheek.

That flirty but sweet tone continues as you move to the living room; you sit on the couch, drinking your coffee, chatting comfortably. You both keep finding reasons to scoot closer together, a thick layer of tension between you. You’d each talked a big game when sharing fantasies about what your first time might be like but now that it might be here, you’re surprised by the hazy combination of excitement and nerves you feel.

It’s hard to say who makes the first move: there’s a lull in the conversation and then suddenly, a kiss. Ashton’s hands quickly make their way into your hair and before long, things get heated and you find yourself climbing into his lap to straddle him. This was about as far as things had gotten between you pre-quarantine and it’s as glorious as you remember.

You roll your hips above him and he groans into the mark he was leaving on your neck; your shirt rides up with your movements and his fingers softly dance over the exposed skin. As you nibble along his jaw, his hands find their way up the back of your shirt and you shiver at his warmth. You put your hands on his wrists, guiding them up, letting him know it’s OK to take your shirt off; he does and you silently thank your past self for wearing one of your pretty bras tonight. 

“So beautiful, baby,” he breathes and then his mouth is back on yours, hands busy exploring the new skin on display for him. You shift your hips again and this time find yourself the one to groan, feeling him hard beneath you for the first time; you’ve spent a lot of time wondering what this would feel like and it’s more intoxicating than you ever could’ve imagined.

Ash lifts you off his lap and lays you back on the couch, peeling his own shirt off before moving to be on top of you. He kisses you hungrily and then makes his way down your body, the scratch of his beard deliciously teasing you, lips pecking over every inch of your neck before they attach to the tops of your breasts.

You pull him back up to your mouth and slide your hands down to unbuckle his belt. You brush over his length through his jeans and nearly gasp at the contact; you know he’s not even fully hard and he feels huge. This revelation has you getting impatient and you attempt to push his pants down. "Jesus dude, are these painted on or what?" You joke, struggling.

 "Hey, I could ask you the same thing," he retorts, running his hands along your ass to prove his point. With a goofy smile, he asks, "Should we pause and de-pants ourselves?" 

You laugh as you untangle yourself from his body and pull your pants off while he does the same. He eyes your matching lace lingerie and teases, "That’s some mighty fancy underwear you've got on there, Miss ‘Let’s Take The Pressure Off And Not Expect Anything To Happen Tomorrow Night’.”

You feel your cheeks warming at both his gawking attention and his implication you were hoping things would end up this way. You playfully fire back, "Maybe I dress like this all the time, you don't know me… or maybe I wanted to feel sexy for myself tonight." You try to pull him into a kiss but he pulls back, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Or maybe I'm really behind on laundry and I only have the nice stuff left," you say with a sheepish giggle. 

“That I believe,” he laughs delightedly. "Whatever the reason, you look fucking incredible.”

You intend to murmur a thanks but the way his kisses are currently being  peppered in between your breasts causes it to come out as a moan instead. His fingers toy with the closure of your bra and he looks at you to softly ask, “May I?”

You nod enthusiastically and close your eyes as his mouth acquaints itself with your bare breasts, your hands tangling in his hair. Your mouths find each other again, tongues familiarizing themselves with every detail of each other. You reach between your bodies and grip the tent in his underwear; you trace the shape of him through the material and he breaks your kiss to let out a strained moan. “God, I can’t wait to make you cum,” you murmur, a bit surprised by your own boldness.

You feel Ash breathe deeply, affected by your words. “Well, I’m afraid I have a strict ‘ladies first’ policy in this house, so I clearly need to get started,” he jokes, attempting to steady himself. “Bedroom?”

He helps you off the couch and you start to reach for your discarded clothes but he pulls you along, shaking his head. “You won’t be needing those for a while,” he grins.

You follow him to his room, impressing yourself with how steady on your feet you are, how calm you feel; your heart is racing but it’s from anticipation instead of uncertainty, which is unusual for you when you’re about to sleep with someone new. You tend to make these decisions impulsively, with a bit of a “fuck now, ask questions later” attitude. The fact that you’ve waited for this long to be with him and that you feel totally at ease, wandering through his upstairs hallway in just your panties, is the latest in a series of signs telling you that your feelings for Ashton are different.

You settle on the bed while he pauses in the doorway, fiddling with the dimmer on the light switch, determined to get it just right. He finally comes over and you don’t waste any time, climbing over to the edge of the bed to pull off his boxers. His cock springs free and you bite your lip, hoping you’re not actually drooling like you fear you might be.

“You good?” He goads you with a smug smile. During a couple of your video romps, you’d gotten yourself off with toys and he teased you about your selections, calling you a size queen. As you find yourself fascinated surveying the notable length and girth in front of you, you have to admit, he’s not wrong.

You silence his remarks by leaning forward and tentatively licking his tip, closing your eyes in satisfaction when you taste a drop of precum. You roll your tongue around the head, tracing every curve and ridge with your tongue. When you get comfortable enough to wrap your lips around him and slowly start taking him into your mouth, he quietly breathes your name, brushing your hair out of your face, and you feel like you could cum right then and there.

He senses your eagerness and lets you work for a bit longer before he gently pulls you off with a heavy sigh. "Ladies first, remember?" He rasps, flashing you a dazzling smile that would've made you weak even if he wasn't naked in front of you.

He gestures for you to lay back as he kneels at the edge of the bed, dragging his beard across your thighs before hooking his thumbs in your panties to slowly pull them off. You close your eyes, a blissful, close-mouthed smile decorating your face. Ash groans, gazing up at you. “Do you have any idea how many times I laid in this bed picturing what it’d be like to have you here like this?” He asks, raising himself up to kiss you passionately. “Better than I ever could’ve imagined.” 

His lips travel back down your body and you’re so caught up in how dreamy it is to finally feel him like this, you don’t notice he’s already made it back down your body and you cry out when his tongue licks a bold stripe up your center. You’re almost certain you feel him smile against you, proud of the reaction he’s achieved. 

You run your hands through his long hair, trying your best not to tug at it too much, although you suspect he might enjoy that. He alternates between soft, fluttering licks at you and long, intentional strokes, using every centimeter of his wide tongue. It’s overwhelming but you breathe deeply, trying to maintain control; it’s when he wraps his lips around your clit and starts sucking that you start writhing, your legs involuntarily closing in around his head and you tap at him to get his attention.

He immediately pulls back. “Too much?” He reassuringly squeezes your ankle, looking at you encouragingly. “Tell me what you need, sweetheart, wanna do what I can to make you feel good.”

You sit up on your arms, lightheaded from both pleasure and his care. “Ash, oh my god, it feels amazing,” you insist, reaching out to brush his hair out of his eyes. “I just… I really wanna cum with you in me... and I can’t always go for two… and it was feeling so good right now…”

Ashton leans up, pausing your nervous rambling with a sweet kiss. “Hey, it’s all good, I’m glad you told me,” he soothes. “Do you want to go ahead or do you need more time? We can do something else to get you ready. Your call.” 

You grin and guide his hand to run along your wet folds. “I think this qualifies as ready, don’t you?” 

“Alright, cheeky girl,” he teases, casually lifting his fingers from your wetness to his mouth, tasting you on them. “Still, there’s lube in the left nightstand if you want to get it out just in case.”

“Gentlemanly offer and a brag at the same time, I’m into it,” you laugh.

He giggles loudly, moving off the bed. “Gotta grab the condoms,” he explains, leaving the room.

You retrieve the bottle of lube like he suggested and tidy the bed up a little bit, adjusting the pillows to make yourself comfortable. He’s gone for what feels like a long time but you chalk it up to your excitement for what’s about to happen. You sit back, surveying the room, making mental notes about different things you want to ask him about later. Finally, you hear him call your name from down the hall and you curiously holler back at him.

He pops his head in the room, looking mildly panicked. “Please tell me you saw a box of condoms in the groceries you put away,” he inquires breathlessly.

Your heart sinks. “Um… no? I didn’t,” you take a steadying breath, bracing yourself for what seems like very bad news. “It was mostly food. And the napkins we used. Toothpaste I put in the bathroom. No condoms.”

Ash inhales sharply, nodding rapidly, which unsettles you; he comes to sit on the edge of the bed and drags his hands over his face and through his hair. “Well. This is just never gonna fucking happen, I guess,” he declares dramatically. You feel weirdly exposed now that the mood has shifted and you reach for a blanket to cover yourself with before you crawl over to him.

You rest your head on his shoulder, letting him know you’re there. He smiles sadly and strokes over your hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. I hadn’t dated in a while and then with lockdown… I didn’t know until yesterday what I had was expired so I tossed them and ordered some today… and they’re just… not here,” he says regretfully.

You chew your lip, evaluating how you should respond; you’re disappointed, obviously - very disappointed - but Ashton is clearly upset with himself and you don’t want to make him feel any worse. “I suppose it’d be irresponsible of me to suggest we ignore this road block by employing the old ‘spray and pray’ method?” You joke… at least you think you’re joking.

He snorts, turning to look at you with a smile on his face, which makes you feel better about things. “I’m sure you’re not serious but no, after all this time, after we finally had the perfect date, no, I’m not going to pull out and ‘spray and pray,’ he chuckles.

You smile back at him. “Well,” you start flirtatiously, “I meant it when I said I couldn’t wait to make you cum.” Your fingers dance along his bare thigh, travelling close to his softened cock. “We can still fool around, if you want.”

He looks at you fondly, squeezing your hand on his leg. “I really don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“Ash, as sweet as you are, this is an entirely selfish act on my part, I really just want you to moan for me,” you smirk, moving to sit back against the pillows. “Plus this is possibly the most turned on I’ve ever been and if I don’t get off soon, I might actually die.”

Grinning, he crawls up the bed and settles in next to you. “Well. Can’t have that, now can we?” He teases in a low voice, kissing you with an intoxicating restraint. “Got anything particular in mind?” He feels you sigh against him as he gets his mouth on your neck and his hand on your breast.

It takes you a second to find your voice again, still getting used to the novelty of being able to feel his touch. “To be honest, I wouldn’t mind getting my mouth back on you,” you confess with heavy breath. “Or we could just, you know, play with each other.” You slide your hand down to find his cock, lightly rubbing your fingertips up and down his shaft, feeling it start to rise for you again.

Ash groans and throws his arm around your shoulders, turning so that you’re cradled into his side. Your hand lazily drags over his length while he holds you, kissing you with a renewed intensity. The arm around you softly massages your shoulder while his free arm is exploring your body: palming your breasts, twirling your nipples, fingers caressing the rise and fall of your tummy. 

He breaks the kiss as his hand makes its way between your legs, tentatively brushing along your inner thigh, watching you closely as his fingers move to trace your lips and then your folds. He swirls through your wetness and then gently starts rubbing your clit; your hand instantly stills on him and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“This feel alright?” He asks, studying your face. 

You take your free hand and place it on his, encouraging him to apply more pressure. “So good, Ash,” you murmur, raising your mouth to his again, eager to have his affection completely enveloping you.

You resume your motion on his cock, stroking him firmly, listening for the hitches in his breath or gentle grunts to tell you that your instincts of how to please him are correct. You try to recall what you can from the months you spent watching him touch himself online; you vividly remember him twisting over the tip while he used his other hand to cradle his balls. You give it a try and he lets out a loud moan, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

The two of you familiarize yourselves with each other’s bodies, savoring the noises you’re pulling from each other because although it’s not the first time you’ve ever heard them, it’s the first time they’re being caused by you. 

Ashton’s fingers tease along your entrance and you can’t breathe out a “Please” fast enough; he slides two fingers inside and starts thrusting. He starts with a moderate pace but you’re so worked up, you’re bucking against his hand almost immediately, overwhelmed at the thought of some part of him finally inside you.

You try your best to keep jerking him off but it’d be an understatement to say you’ve become distracted as his fingers move in you; you whisper an apology as you let go of him, starting to lose control, digging your nails into his bicep, whining at how you can feel it flex from the way he’s working your body. 

Ash can’t get enough of how receptive you are to him so when you mutter out another “Sorry” upon realizing how red the skin around his snake tattoo is from you holding on to him, he squeezes your shoulder in reassurance. “Listen, you can scratch that thing clean off if it means I’m making you feel that good,” he teases, nipping at your neck. “Are you as close as it sounds like you are?”

You’re sure your cheeks must already be flushed but you still feel them warm up at the implication that he recognizes your noises from quarantine. You nod, chest heaving, trying to catch your breath.

"Do you need something different to help you finish or keep this up?" He asks, understanding in his eyes.

You groan and jump as his fingers hit your spot again. "Um, actually I think I’d like if you went back to just my clit."

He nods, following your instructions. He rubs careful circles, checking your face to see if he’s getting the pressure right. You start to tuck your face into Ashton’s chest to minimize your reactions but he tenderly pulls you back to lay with him, stroking his hand through your hair to soothe you as he feels you start to shake in his arms. “God, you’re so fuckin’ beautiful like this,” he praises, sucking below your ear. “Let me hear you, baby, you always sound so good when you cum for me.”

His raspy affirmations work in perfect tandem with the vigorous movement of his fingers and you begin to unravel. You breathily cry out his name as your back rises off the bed and your hands fly out on either side of you, one gripping the sheets, the other grabbing for his arm again.

Your hips buck, riding the waves of pleasure surging through your body. Ash watches you carefully, continuing to work you until he detects a slight wince of overstimulation and he removes his hand, deciding to kiss you through the rest of your orgasm. 

Your body finally relaxes and while you’re definitely exhausted, you’re also eager to satisfy him in return. While he presses kisses over your face, whispering quiet praises as you settle, your hands move to explore his body again, one caressing at his chest and abs, the other taking hold of his cock, making good use of the precum he released while playing with you, starting to build momentum again.

He groans, closing his eyes, losing himself in your touch. You can't resist shifting slightly to travel down his body, pecking your way down his stomach, nibbling at his hips before moving your lips back to his cock. You suckle at the head and the throaty "Baby" you receive in return is already worth your trouble.

Ashton traces designs on your back while you suck him off; he constantly murmurs encouragement, which you appreciate because your heart is racing, this is the first time tonight you've felt truly nervous. You've always enjoyed giving head but you've fantasized about blowing Ash for so long you were slightly afraid it might not live up to expectations - for the both of you, since you'd shared many fantasies with him.

You try to pace yourself, not wanting to get greedy and take too much at once, using your hand to make up for what your mouth can't handle yet; every time you pull off to catch your breath and check in with him, he sweetly wipes at your mouth with his thumb and it's much cuter than it should be, considering the situation.

You bob along his shaft a few more times, fluttering your tongue along the underside, finding a particular vein you remember him paying special attention to. Your memory serves you correct and he emits a surprised whimper. He squeezes your shoulder a few times and you pull off curiously.

"Want your mouth on mine when I cum," he rasps.

You quickly reclaim your place laying in his arms, kissing him as requested. It’s just a few tugs until his breathing starts to stutter against your lips. "Fuck, yes, cum for me, Ash," you murmur, letting out a little moan yourself when you feel his cock throb in your hold.

Ash huffs out short belabored breaths as he moves his hand down to join yours, showing you how to work through his orgasm, adjusting slightly so that his cum shoots on to his own stomach instead of yours.

You lightly kiss him through it until he pulls your hand off of him, lacing his fingers in yours, squeezing briefly. You lay back in his arms, basking in the intimacy of the moment.

He pecks your forehead before he regrettably pulls away from you to gesture towards the tissue box on the bedside table. “Would you mind?”

You start to reach for it and then pause, deciding you’re comfortable enough to make a request. “Actually… could I…?” You trail off, raising your eyebrows as you steal a glance at his torso.  

Ashton chuckles out a surprised “OK” and then you’re quickly shuffling down his body to get your mouth on his cum covered skin. He breathes in sharply when he feels your warm breath on him and his stomach flutters under your tongue as you clean him up, blissfully humming as you discover his taste.

Your hair falls in your face and he brushes it out of the way, not wanting to miss a second of what you’re doing. When you’re finished, you sit up and daintily wipe your mouth with your fingertips. You catch a glimpse of Ash looking downright dazed, chest still heaving from his orgasm, eyes glazed over from watching you eagerly volunteer to lick up his release.

With the heat of the moment having passed, you start feeling slightly self-conscious about your boldness. “Was that over the top? I feel like that was too much for a first time, oh my god,” you laugh, hands covering your face nervously. “I just… on our calls, every time I would watch you cum, I would just… think about it…” You shake your head, surprised at your own behavior.

He laughs and reaches for you, kissing the top of your head as you lay against him. "Just the right amount of 'too much', trust me." His voice gets deeper as he leans in to whisper, “I’d thought about it too, for the record. As fuckin’ hot as I’d thought it’d be.”

You lay quietly wrapped up in him for a bit longer and when you move to get out of bed, he grabs your hand, squeezing it gently. “D’ya wanna stay tonight?” He asks, hazel eyes swimming with sweetness and sincerity. “I didn’t want to jinx it and get stuff for breakfast but I was thinking we could order in.”

You smile brightly, leaning in to peck his lips. “You can finally make me your famous coffee you’re always bragging about,” you tease.

“It’s disgusting, you’ll love it,” he grins, playfully pinching your ass as you get out of bed.

The next morning you wake up to the feeling of Ash climbing back into bed beside you. You open one eye and look him up and down suspiciously. “Where have you been?” You murmur.

He settles on his side, pulling you closer to him so your faces are inches from each other, at the edge of your respective pillows. “Ordered breakfast already, had to go unlock the front gate,” he explains, voice still thick with sleep. He strokes your hair and smiles at how you close your eyes, melting into his touch. “Sleep OK, baby?”

You feel your lips curl into a dreamy smile; you already knew you loved hearing him call you that but hearing it in his deep morning voice is fucking transcendent. “To be honest, it’s been so long since I slept next to someone, I wasn’t sure how it was gonna go at first,” you laugh, scooting closer. “You’re warm, though, which was nice.” 

“Well at least I have that going for me,” he jokes with a mock pout, which you promptly move in to kiss right off his face. You enjoy a sleepy, slow makeout for a few minutes and then he pulls away. 

He takes a deep breath before quietly saying, “Hey… I wanted to apologize for how I acted last night with the whole condom thing. I just got so frustrated because it seemed like we’d finally gotten it right… but that kind of negativity has no place in our relationship. Especially in a situation like that where you were feeling disappointed and vulnerable as well. So I’m sorry.”

“Ash,” you whisper softly. You take in the sight of him: long, dark curls darting out every which way from sleeping, scruffy beard you’re still certain he grew just for you, lips swollen from your kisses. His eyes are gorgeous as always but you can see the concern and remorse behind them and you feel like you can’t put him at ease soon enough. “You don’t have to apologize, it was disappointing and you don’t have to be Mr. Positivity 24/7 if you don’t feel like it. Not for me. I’d rather know how you’re really feeling.” 

“I guess I thought this would be easier. We’ve had so long to think about being together and to plan for it and it’s just been a constant let down,” he admits.

You chew your lip. “Well, listen. Last night still worked out? We still got to be intimate, I still got to experience waking up next to you. Sort of,” you tease. He cracks a smile and you couldn’t be more thankful. “But what you just said, maybe that’s part of the problem. Maybe because we had so much time to think about this, maybe we’ve built it up too much in our minds and we’re just setting ourselves up to be disappointed.”

He nods, mulling over your words. “Like the fantasy was important during lockdown but now it’s tripping us up. If we were in more normal circumstances, we would’ve just slept together without much thought.”

“You really think your game’s that good?” You joke and he pinches you in response. “You’re right, though, I haven’t thought this much about a first time since I was a virgin.”

“So we need to find a middle ground between this idealization we’ve invented and doing it just to get it over with,” he suggests.

“Exactly,” you peck his lips in encouragement. “At the end of the day, it’s just sex. I’ve been looking forward to being with you, not to some super romantic, candlelit lovemaking experience at the end of a dream date.” “Whenever it happens, it’ll be perfect because we’re perfect,” he smiles.

The two of you carry that mentality with you throughout the next couple weeks. You hang out, go on a couple dates and even end up having a spontaneous video sex session like old times. You still burn with desire nearly every time he’s near you but removing that looming pressure to set the mood really does help put you at ease with each other. You feel more connected than ever, like you’re able to focus on him now instead of the experience.

“The drive-ins are opened back up now,” Ashton mentions during your afternoon call. “Think you might wanna catch a movie tonight?”

“God, remember movies? That could be fun,” you agree.

“A buddy of mine went last weekend, opened up the hatchback, put a bunch of pillows down, made it nice and cozy. Thought I might ask if I could borrow his car… we could have a little picnic back there before the movie,” he proposes.

You smile to yourself, loving how excited he gets planning dates. “Better bring your comfiest hoodie for me to steal, we’re gonna get fuckin’ snuggly.”

Ash loves a good reveal so when he picks you up, he’s sure to walk you around the front of the car so you don’t peek in the back of the mini SUV. You have fun teasing him on the way there, adjusting the mirrors, exaggeratedly acting like you’re glancing over your shoulder; watching his eyes go wide and hearing his stern “Hey!” simply never gets old. 

Amused as he is by your game, Ashton knows how to tease you right back and when you arrive at the drive-in, before he gets out of the car to finish setting up, he offers you a kiss and a quiet warning of “Be good” that basically guarantees you’ll stay in your seat until he says otherwise.

After a few minutes, he finally calls you back there and you’re blown away at the elaborate transformation. He pops the hatchback up to reveal the back rows of seats have all been laid flat and a thin layer of memory foam lays across them, covered by piles and piles of blankets. Pillows of every shape and size adorn the setup, along with a small cooler and a tote of movie snacks. In the center of the makeshift bed is the pizza you picked up for dinner and two champagne flutes filled with your favorite soda.

“Ash,” you coo as you climb into the back of the car. “This is so fucking cute? You said your friend put some pillows down, not made an entire love nest back here.”

“Well, I may have embellished a little,” he chuckles modestly, following you inside. “One of our first hang outs was at a movie, so I thought our grand return should be special.” 

You grin as you serve pizza onto each of your plates. “That feels like that was a thousand years ago but I still remember the chill that ran down my spine every time you leaned over the armrest to whisper some comment about the movie.”

“Yeah? I remember being nervous because I couldn’t tell if you were aroused or annoyed, to be honest,” he laughs. 

“Oh it was definitely both at first. You talked a lot and I didn’t pay LA ticket prices to hear your commentary track,” you giggle, playfully shoving his shoulder as his jaw drops. “But then I decided I really liked how it felt to have you pay attention to me.”

“And of course what I was saying was clever and enlightening and added to your cinematic experience,” he adds on with a smirk.

You give him a tight-lipped smile, raising your eyebrows in exaggeratedly mocking agreement. He flicks your leg in response and you yelp, unable to keep from smiling at him. The two of you continue reminiscing and making easy conversation while you devour your pizza dinner. By the time you’re done, the sun is setting.

You lay back on the pillows you’ve propped up and watch intently as Ash gets rid of the pizza box at a nearby trash can. You’d both agreed that the dress code for tonight was ‘comfort’ and he went with a black t-shirt and an endearingly bizarre pair of lounge pants that feature a mountain landscape illustrated across the legs. Unsurprisingly, the t-shirt hugs his chest and biceps, drawing attention to the tattoos up and down his arms that you haven’t been able to keep your hands off of. What is surprising is how the loose pants still cling to his body in all the right ways - pulling across his thick thighs and ass, making you wonder if he’s keeping things in his pockets or if the bulging in front you’re seeing is all him. You squeeze your legs together, pleased that he’s almost back at the car, eager to feel him, even if it’s just for a snugged up movie date.

He flashes you a dazzling smile as he walks up to the car. “What’s got you all dreamy-eyed?” He teases, settling in next to you. You feel your breath hitch as he comfortably rests his hand on your bare thigh, toying with the hem of your lounge shorts, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Just happy to be here,” you shrug, leaning over to peck his bearded cheek.

He hums at your affection, leaning his head on your shoulder as he fiddles with his phone, pulling up a radio app so he can tune to the station that will be broadcasting the audio for your screen. “It’s kind of a deadzone out there, there’s only maybe 5 other cars,” he reports, reaching behind you to make sure the bluetooth speaker he’s connected to is on. “Even with all the distancing, we probably didn’t need to park all the way back here.”

“I like it… Gives the illusion you rented out the place just for me, makes me feel special,” you joke. He giggles and kisses your shoulder.

The first movie of your double feature starts a few minutes later and you couldn’t possibly enjoy it more. The two of you trade jokes and snacks; it’s all just so comfortable and lovely, unfiltered and natural.

During the intermission, you decide to get out and stretch a bit before the second film starts. You notice that when you feel Ashton’s eyes poring over you as you bend and twist, you only feel pride and desire, none of the nervousness or timidity you’d felt a few weeks ago.

Once the movie starts, you sit and try to patiently wait and see if he’s going to make a move but by the time the opening credits are over, you can’t help but advance things yourself. You scoot closer but his eyes remain trained on the screen; you decide to more explicitly ask for his attention by nuzzling your face into his neck, pressing a few light kisses behind his ear, scratching his beard with your nails. “I’m having a good time,” you whisper, feeling him grin under your touch. “This was such a great idea, I’m happy you suggested it.”

He slinks his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. “I’m so glad you like it,” he beams at you. “It’s fun to be out in the world again but also still pretty much alone.”

“Alone enough to do this,” you lilt, leaning in to plant your lips on his. Your kiss is gentle but urgent and he reciprocates your energy, cupping your face with one hand and using the other to press you against him, murmuring when you slide your tongue into his mouth. Just when things start to get heated, one of you pulls back and warmly smiles at the other, as if you’re both excited for more but still wanting to appreciate what’s happening in this moment.

You don’t want to disrupt the makeout but you can’t fight the craving you have to feel more of him; you’re finally able to pull yourself away and you lay down on the bed, patting the spot next to you in what you hope is an alluring manner.

He moves closer and you close your eyes, ready to feel his touch. You’re startled to instead hear a grunt of frustration and the shifting of a leather seat. Your eyes snap open and you see him straining to reach into the front seat, trying to reach the keys in the ignition. You’re half a second away from asking what the hell he’s doing when you hear a distant beep and the hatchback slowly begins to close at the end of the cabin. 

He plops himself on the pillow next to you. “Thought we could use a little more privacy,” he explains, grabbing a handful of your ass and using it to pull you closer. “Just in case someone else out there thinks the movie is as boring as we did.”

You start to giggle at his remark but your laughter is interrupted by his lips returning to yours. You both let your mouths and hands do as they please, exploring and enjoying without hesitation and without expectation. You’ve just peeled off his shirt and are sucking a mark at his collarbone when you feel his hand slip up your shirt to palm your breast. You give a light bite to his skin as his fingers pull at your nipple; he groans as you breathily tell him, “You can do it harder.”

A few dozen kisses later, his hand is sliding down your stomach and past the waistband of your shorts. You pull out of his kiss to whine quietly as his long fingers brush through your wetness, only touching your clit incidentally before adding light pressure. 

“Good?” Ashton checks with a smile as your head lulls back and you grab onto him.

“Oh, you know… ‘s alright I guess,” you joke, your attempt at being casual undermined by the way you’re basically grinding into his hand. You let out a long moan and he quickly brings his mouth back down to yours in an attempt to silence it.

As his fingers and lips drive you wild, you find your own hands reaching for his pants and you sigh into his mouth when you feel his cock hard and ready for you. You run your fingers across the straining fabric, teasing him with one hand while the other works to loosen the drawstring. 

You dip your hand inside and grip his cock, choking back a moan when you feel how much he’s already leaked for you. The slickness helps you easily begin stroking him and you shift so you can study his face, wanting to see evidence of the pleasure you’re giving him. As your thumb swipes over his tip and your fingers firmly squeeze his length, Ash’s eyes flutter shut and he bites his lip, quietly muttering your name under his breath.

His fingers slip inside you and you gasp as pumps them in and out, dragging them against your walls, teasing your spot. It’s an intense moment when your eyes lock as his fingers work inside of you while yours glide up and down his cock, the two of you breathing heavy as you basically fuck each other without fucking.

“Ash…” You start, voice wavering.

“Yeah,” he answers in strained agreement. “Do you want --”

“Yes, yes I do. I brought --”

“So did I.”

You break apart from each other and reach for your belongings, chuckling as he pulls a handful of condoms from his backpack and tosses them onto the bed at the same time you pull some from your purse and add them to the pile.

“Well it’s good to know we’re both the kind of people who can learn from their mistakes,” he laughs, pulling you into a delighted kiss. 

An exciting energy fills the car as you both shift around, getting yourselves situated. Ashton pulls back a layer of blankets from the seats in case you want to cover up and bursts out laughing when he turns around to see you’ve already stripped off your shorts and panties and are sitting there pantsless and unbothered.

“We’re parked in the back, there’s barely anyone here and the windows are fogged up,” you shrug, grinning.

You find yourself captivated as you watch him kick his pants off and get up on his knees, wrapping a hand around his cock, pumping it a few times before rolling a condom on. This is really happening. Finally, really happening.

“C’mere,” he breathes, reaching for you. You crawl to him and he cradles your face, kissing you softly. You nibble at his lip as you pull away and the two of you can’t stop smiling.

You climb into his lap, sitting on his legs, staring into his eyes. “Ready?” He asks you, sweetly rubbing your thighs. 

You nod eagerly and lift yourself up to hover over his cock. He slicks the tip through your folds, stopping to tease over your clit a few times and then he’s watching your face as he presses against your entrance. 

Your mouth drops open as you start to take him. He's so thick the stretch is instant, breathtaking and everything you've been dreaming of. His fingers gingerly brush over your hip, encouraging you as you ease him further inside you, rocking up and down until you're impossibly full.

Ash wraps his arms around you, kissing you deeply, hands in your hair then running down your back, then squeezing your ass. You feel completely surrounded by him and it’s overwhelming in the best way. You break the kiss to quickly peel your t-shirt off and then you’re reattaching your lips to his, pressing your chest against his, needing to feel as much of his skin on yours as you possibly can.

“Yes, baby, fuck” he murmurs as you slowly begin to move on his cock. “Feel so fuckin’ perfect… better than I’ve been imagining.”

You respond with a series of whimpers, so caught up in the feeling of finally having him in you. You move cautiously, almost torturously slow until you adjust to his size and then you pick up the pace, his hands firmly gripping your ass, helping you along.

You don’t even have the end goal of an orgasm in mind, you just can’t get enough of the new sensations his cock is making you feel. You shift from rocking to bouncing on him, moaning loudly each time his length hits a new place inside you.

“Ash… your cock feels so fucking good,” you pant, riding him with increasing speed, losing yourself in it. “Can’t believe you’re finally filling me up, baby… fuck.”

Your movements are bordering on frantic when you feel Ashton lightly squeeze your hips, attempting to still them, gently breathing your name. You slow down and look at him inquisitively. The mixture of amusement, desire and warmth painting his face is enough to make your pounding heart skip a beat.

“Can I?” He softly asks. You nod and he carefully pulls out of you and lays you back against the pillows before settling over you. He pecks over your neck and face as he guides himself back inside you. “Think we owe it to ourselves to slow down and live in this for a while.”

He starts to push up so he can get to work but you stop him, tucking his long hair behind his ear, stroking your hand over his beard. “You’re right, just feels so good,” you grin. “Hard not to get carried away.”

Ashton kisses over your palm and begins leisurely moving his hips. He keeps a moderate pace, steady enough that you’re feeling consistent pleasure, feeling something building in your core, but not so hurried that you’re aching to reach the finish line. You hook your leg around his hip and when he pushes it slightly back towards you, he slides in deeper and his groan blends with yours to form possibly the most gorgeous sound you’ve ever heard.

“Jesus, baby… pussy’s takin’ me so well,” he praises, voice sounding more wrecked than you expected. “Such a pretty, giving pussy, baby… what a good girl.”

You shiver at his words, your hands running up and down his back, feeling his muscles flex as he moves above you; you slide your hands down to grab his ass, pulling him closer, willing him even deeper. Ash reaches between your bodies to find your clit, teasing it with just the right amount of pressure to make you moan. The snap of his hips has become slightly quicker and you can tell by his breathing that he’s getting close.

“Ash… so good, yes,” you mumble, reaching down to direct his hand in the pattern you need. He mimics your movements expertly and you start rocking your hips along with him, feeling the stirrings of your climax. “Fuck, like that… god, please.”

“Yeah?” He pants, watching your body start to tense. He takes his free hand and reaches for yours, lacing your fingers, squeezing encouragingly. “Been waiting so long to feel you cum around my cock… come on, baby, cum.”

The first pulse of your orgasm hits you so forcefully you’re shocked he doesn’t react to how hard you squeeze his hand. By the time the next one hits, you’re crying out in senseless mutters from how heavenly this moment feels, how his thick cock couldn’t fit more perfectly inside you as you tighten around it. The sensations feel like they might echo forever as you start to come back down, Ash continuing to move gently in you, reassuring you in a soft voice about how incredible you feel around him.

You pull him down to kiss him breathlessly, satisfied from your orgasm but still hungry for his affection, still needing him on you. “Want you to cum for me, babe,” you whisper. “Let me know how much you love being buried in this pussy.”

Your words drive Ashton’s thrusts to become frenzied as he growls your name, followed by a raspy string of curses. He lets out a deep groan as he fills the condom, rocking into you deep and slow as he works through his climax. His head drops to burrow into your neck and you shiver at how his beard prickles your overstimulated skin. You stroke through his curls, lightly damp with sweat, and whisper in his ear, “So good, Ash… so fuckin’ good.”

He plants an exhausted but sweet kiss on you, only breaking it for you both to whine as he pulls out of you; he carefully ties off the condom while you reach for some of the leftover napkins from dinner to clean yourself up. You sort through each other’s clothes, the two of you grinning like fools the entire time you’re getting dressed.

Ash leans back against the pillows and sighs loudly, gesturing for you to come lay with him. You crawl toward him, making a small detour over the front seat to press the release on the hatchback again. You settle against him as the door opens, the cool night air filling the car again, the long forgotten movie still being projected in the distance.

“Worth the wait?” You tease, giving him a toothy smile.

He holds you tight to his chest. “Fuckin’ hell, baby… as much as we built it up, think we still might’ve undersold it. Like. Goddamn.”

You hum in agreement, closing your eyes, enjoying the afterglow. “I’m glad we just kind of let it happen. That’s probably the best first time I’ve ever had. Definitely the most comfortable.”

“Same. Easy but still just… perfect,” he says dreamily.

You play with his fingers, chuckling, “I was so comfortable I almost asked you to cum on me until I remembered we were fucking in your friend’s car.”

“I mean, it was already questionable for us to have gotten fully naked in his car, we might as well have gone all out,” Ashton laughs loudly, squeezing your hand. “I think Cal had a suspicion this might happen, he left breath mints, condoms and Clorox wipes in the glove compartment.” 

You cackle. “No blacklight, though?”

He pinches your leg and leans in to drown your laughter with a kiss. You gaze at him for a beat, marvelling at how normal everything feels for once. You notice he’s looking at you with a familiar fire in his eyes and you swear even though you were naked with him just a few minutes ago, you actually feel butterflies in your stomach.

You raise your eyebrows at him expectantly and Ash smirks. “Was just thinkin’ it’s for the best anyways. The first time I cover you in cum I don’t want it to be in a dark backseat, I want to be able to see it.”

You quietly groan, a naughty glint in your eye to match his. You sit up and plant a heated kiss on him, pulling away to murmur, “Well. It’s still early… my place or yours?”

————-

Thank you to everyone who signed up for my new taglist, both for the support and the lovely (occasionally hilarious) feedback! If you haven’t signed up yet, the form is linked above! (If your name is crossed out, please check your blog settings, I was unable to tag you)

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[schweiggiemydear]

Regarding the Super League - A Rant

Ok, since the League was more or less officially announced today, I want to talk about it. If you haven't heard about it, you can read the Sky Sports article explaining it here.

I want to add a disclaimer that since I am an Arsenal and Real Madrid fan, my views are biased since both teams have been selected for the league.

However, there are a few things I want to address as a general football fan that are not affected by my club loyalty. I'll include a section at the bottom of this post on my opinion on the new league just because. Editing to add another disclaimer that I do NOT support the Super League. I am just discussing the issues I have seen brought up about it.

Fan Response

A lot of football fans have taken to social media to voice their opposition to the league. Maybe I haven't looked hard enough, but I haven't actually seen any reason for this hatred towards the new league other than "It will ruin football" and "It's just another way for the clubs to make more money." Again, maybe I just haven't seen it, but these two "reasons" aren't really explained at all:

"It will ruin football": It's another competition that only the "elite" and "best" clubs of Europe will be a part of. This is basically the Champions and Europa leagues already. These two competitions will not be eliminated and you can still see underdogs play European football.

Is the concern here that this elevates top clubs at the expense of smaller clubs? (like Champions League already does?) Is the concern here that mechanisms for fair competition will be dropped for the sake of greed? (like Champions league already does?) (Like FIFA does every time they make a decision?) Is the concern here that it undermines the concept of competition and the idea that any team can win a trophy in Europe? This is the only valid criticism I can understand and support, but when was the last time a big club didn't win the Champions league? When was the last time a small club Leicester or Roma held the trophy? If you can count Olympique de Marseille as a "small club", then the answer is 1993.

"It's just another way for the clubs to make more money.": I hate to break it to you folks, but football is a business. (I have a lot of opinions on this - mainly regarding women's v. men's football and equal pay - but that is not the point of this post.) Clubs are always looking for ways to make more money and this pandemic has killed revenue for every club, even top league clubs, and they are looking for new and more steady sources of revenue.

Is the concern that without a ruling body like FIFA, the money for the competition will not be handled fairly? Is the concern that fans will have limited access to matches? If you take even a cursory glance at what FIFA/UEFA done regarding finance, transparency, match fixing, and fan access, you would know this isn't a valid criticism. Well, it is valid. But only if you also regularly call out FIFA, UEFA, Premier League/FA, Bundesliga, La Liga, League 1, Serie A, etc., for these same infractions. Which people don't.

Now if the criticisms were closer to "I think this brings unnecessary competition to top clubs already vying for European trophies", "This competition will make these clubs think they're better than everyone else", or "This puts a strain on players in these clubs who already play for club and country", I'd understand the concerns and would absolutely agree. But right now, the actual fan backlash seems more guided by a general misunderstanding on how football really works. Which leads to the next issue I want need to address.

FIFA/UEFA Response

Now here's where things get interesting because the backlash from FIFA and UEFA has been swift and aggressive to say the least. They are refusing to allow players who play in the Super League to be eligible for the 2022 World Cup and will likely impose fines or even ban clubs from the leagues that do participate. The Premier League/FA and the other major European leagues have issued a joint statement condemning the league. The statement mentions solidarity, a united front, fair competition, and sporting merit and claims that this new league is greedy and self-serving.

Ironic words come from institutions that are all well-known for their own corruption. Absolutely banger response from institutions that milk fans, players, and leagues every year. In fact, people on twitter made really great points and I'm going to provide the tweets here because they said it better than I could:

(including the last one because of Slavia Prague specifically)

We all know the main reason FIFA and UEFA are against the Super League is because they wouldn't get a cut of the revenue. I don't have any money to bet, but know that if I did, I would bet it all that if the Super League offered FIFA and UEFA each a significant cut of the continued revenue, they would get the green light immediately and that trophy would be physically bigger than the Champions League cup.

I just cannot get over the irony, hypocrisy, lack of awareness, and just BALLS of these organisations to make claims of greed and lack of fair play when they are guilty of these exact things. I think Toni Kroos said it best:

"European Super League? We are just puppets of FIFA and UEFA. If there was a players' union, we would not be playing the Nations League or Supercopa de Espana in Saudi Arabia." (Kroos in a podcast on 11/11/2020)

My Humble Opinion

Now here's what I think. And again, my teams would be involved in this Super League so I do have a stake in the game here.

Firstly, I absolutely agree the Super League is elitist in nature and affects the fair play nature of European football competitions and domestic leagues. No doubt that smaller clubs would be financially hurt by this new league and it puts these "top teams" on a pedestal, especially when the last thing they need is an even more inflated ego (Arsenal included). Every club has been hurt by this pandemic and needs funds. Every club has been hurt by FIFA's practices and there's a good chance this will really mess with smaller teams' chances of earning revenue themselves.

Second, FIFA and UEFA can go fuck themselves.

Third, FIFA plans to ban players and clubs who participate in this Super League and to that I say good fucking luck with that because those clubs are your biggest earners. Absolutely no hate or shade to the Bundesliga or League 1, but they just don't bring in the same revenue as Barca, Real Madrid, or Premier League teams. Bayern Munich did recently overtake Man United as the 3rd richest club in Europe, but they are still vastly out-earned by RM and Barca. PSG is #7 (after 3 english teams) and Juventus is #10 (after 5 english teams) (source). The revenue FIFA and UEFA would lose from banning Super League teams would be astronomical. Not just in the domestic leagues themselves, but the Champions League, Europa League, and the World Cup. I mean, what's a World Cup without Messi? (personally, I'm okay with that but you get my point)

Fourth, and hear me out, I genuinely believe that the Super League is a good TEMPORARY idea. The Super League should be used as an experiment to see how competitions would function outside the influence of FIFA and other regulatory agencies. This would be a League run by clubs and players and is a better representation on how football SHOULD be organised. If these clubs take a stand against FIFA, maybe, just maybe, we can get rid of some of the corruption inherent in football. Don't get me wrong, the Super League is definitely meant to be revenue generating for sure. But it's also a middle finger to FIFA and, if its done well, the rest of Europe might take a harder look at how much they don't actually need FIFA. Do I think this is the right way of doing it? No. But has it clearly stirred things up and now people are talking about the issues? Yes.

Lastly, I want to talk about Kroos' comment above. A players union is a brilliant idea and I think the European Super League is actually a great way for players to argue for it. They can use the leverage of the new league to bargain for better rights and a union that actually tells FIFA to go fuck itself when it decides things like revenue gouging Brazil in 2014 or a Qatar World Cup. Or the many hundred other shitty things FIFA has done. For a full list, please see John Oliver's amazing coverage of FIFA in his series "Last Week Tonight" (found on YouTube or HBOMax).

If you made it to the bottom of this post/rant, thank you! Let me know what you think about this Super League and what would you do if you were one of the teams involved?

[aidanrgallagher7]

Love in The Midst of Doomsday~

Five Hargreaves × Reader

Chapter Three

Chapter Four: Day Four

Word Count 3.4k

Warnings: fluff, slight angst, mentions of past trauma: panic attack and anxiety in this chapter.

Carrying Luther to the car was a struggle, to say the least. He is half man, half ape, meaning twice the deadweight to carry. It took all three of you to get him in the car, and Vanya drove us back to Luther's little shack that he's been living in for the past year being in Dallas. Luther woke up once she stopped the car, convenient for the three of you. 

Luther "Where the hell am I?"

Five "Good morning sleepy head, you just got home!"

Luther "Five? What happened, why am I in this car..with you and Vanya..and-" he looks at you.

"Hi, my name is Y/n."

Luther "Why are you here?"

Five "Because she is my wife." Luther inhaled so deeply that he started choking on his own saliva, which made Five get a good chuckle.

Luther "I'm sorry, I must have heard that wrong-"

Five "Have you forgotten that I am way older than you, number one?" Luther rolls his eyes, "Why is it so hard for all of you to comprehend that I am old enough to be married?!"

Luther "Because you don't look a day over sixteen..and neither does your wife."

"What happened to Five, happened to me as well. It is just as weird for us as it is for all of you. But this is just how it is right now.."

Luther sighs, "I am sorry for freaking out..you seem like a nice girl."

Vanya "Do you want to go inside? You got hit really hard." Luther touches his head and flinches from the pain.

Luther "Yeah, I think that'd be a good idea. It was nice to meet you Y/n."

"..you too." 

Five "Lovely seeing you, as always Luther." He smiled fakely. Luther does not respond, only opening up the car door and slamming it behind him. 

Five chuckles, "Dad should've left him on the moon." You sigh and fix a piece of hair that had fallen into his green eyes.

"Vanya will talk to him. He'll come around, he has too."

Five nods, "I still need to find Klaus and Allison."

"We will." He nods and pulls you into his chest and holds you for a little while. After what feels an hour passes by, Five gets impatient and gets out of the car to stretch his legs. All of a sudden, there is a hole in the brick wall, where Luther is supposedly staying. Five looks up and he sees his brother's fist through the wall and laughs to himself. 

"What the hell?!"

Five "I guess things aren't going well.."

"Mmm.." you were going to say something but Vanya came walking down the sidewalk. 

Five "Well that went well-"

Vanya "I'm going back to the farm."

Five "What are you talking about?! You can't do that-we all need to stick together!"

Vanya "Were you ever going to tell me?" Five looks at her confused, "Y'know, the real reason that caused the apocalypse?" Five looks up and curses towards his brother but you couldn't tell what he was saying. "Why didn't you tell me!? Were you ever going to-?""

Five "No, can you blame me?"

"Five.."

Five "-When you get mad..shit blows up." You sigh to yourself, knowing that was not the right way to tell her about her powers. 

Vanya shrugs, "Great. Any other family issues that you have to tell me about?" She gets in the car and you get out of the car. 

Five "Plenty! But there is no time for…" he stops talking because her window is still up, so he knocks on the window for her to roll it down. When she does, he continues his side of the conversation. "Look, the time is ticking on doomsday. So please tell me that when I need you, you'll be ready."

Vanya "I can't help you Five, I don't even know who I am."

Five "You are our sister!"

Vanya "I was, I'm not that person anymore. New timeline, new me." And then she drove off.

Five "THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS!-" she continued to drive off, leaving you and Five behind. 

"Well, this took a drastic turn.."

Five huffs, "We don't have time for this..come on, let's get back to your father's." He takes your hand and he blinks the two of you back to your father's apartment building.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you guys return, you find Diego and Lila on the sofa. Lila is dressing Diego's stab wound while snacking, while your father is rushing around the house like a madman. 

Diego "Where have you been?"

Five "Found Vanya..and saw Luther again."

Diego "Wait, you did?"

Five "Yeah..you were out when she used her powers in an open field. By the way I see it, the Swedes found her and tried to eliminate her, but she got scared of course..and you know what happens when she gets scared..or mad."

Diego "Will they come back?"

Five sighs, "I don't know."

Diego "And you let her go, why?!"

Five "I couldn't stop her from leaving, Diego. She'll come around. Just give her time." Elliot hands him a cup of coffee and you your cup as well. 

"Thanks dad." He smiles and kisses your head.

Elliot "You good, kiddo?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just tired, that's all."

Elliot "Maybe stay home tonight, huh?"

"I'll think on that, thanks again for the coffee daddy." His eyes sparkle for a moment, hearing you call him daddy made his heart just about burst. 

Lila "Do you know who sent them..the Swedes?"

Five "Oh, I have my suspicions." He grins and takes a sip of his coffee. "But the main priority is to find dad and get some answers. Because everything else depends on it."

Diego "I had him-"

Five "Yeah and you let him go-"

Diego "He stabbed me."

Lila laughs and offers him a high five, to which he does not contribute too. 

Five "Good news is, I know where dad is going." He says as he takes a piece of paper out of his pocket. You sit down next to him and he shows it to you first, before handing it to Diego. 

"This is great news!" He smiles and then he hands it over for his brother to read. 

Diego "Where did you find this?"

Five "In dad's office, while he was busy stabbing you." He smiles. 

Diego *fakes a laugh* "Hoyt Hillenkoetter and the Consulate General of Mexico in Dallas cordially invite you to a gala-"

Elliot "Wait, Hillenkoetter?"

Five "Yeah, why? Do you know em?"

Elliot "Hillenkoetter is one of the Majestic Twelve!"

Diego "The Majestic Twelve?"

Elliot "They are a secret committee of scientists, military, deep state. They are the shadow government." He says as he rummages through some papers on his desk and pulls out a photograph. "Here." He hands it to Five to take a look at. "Kennedy was the first president to ever try to push them into the light but the committee is not one to be toyed with.."

Five looks closer and closer at the picture, "That is Hoyt right there." Elliot said as he pointed to a man. 

Diego "I only count eleven."

"Then who is the twelfth?" Five looks at you and then at Diego when he realizes that the twelfth person is their father. 

Five "This only means that we need to talk to dad before he goes through whatever the hell the committee is planning."

Diego "We should get ready." Five nods and gulps down the last few sips of his coffee and then he goes into your room to clean himself up. 

Lila "You look exhausted darling." She says as you lay your head back against the sofa. 

"Sorry.."

Lila "I wasn't asking for an apology, you can't help being tired, Y/n."

You nod and offer her a smile, "Thanks."

Lila "What else is wrong?"

"Just have a lot on my mind."

Diego "That is to be expected." You nod, "But we'll get through it. All of us."

"I know we will."

Diego "You know, I am glad that you are here Y/n. You are a nice addition to this insane, dysfunctional family." You giggle.

"Thank you Diego, that means a lot."

Diego "Of course. If you need anything, I'll gladly help you, alright?" You thank him again, "I mean, I will gladly beat up Five if he ever does anything to you.." you burst out laughing and roll your eyes.

"He is a great husband."

Diego puts his hands up in defense, "Alright, I'm just making sure. But seriously, if you need anything, I'm there."

"Thank you Diego, really..thank you." He pats your hand and gets up from the sofa.

"Come on Lila, we have to get dressed up for the GALA!" He dramatized 'gala' to make us all laugh. 

Lila "Yes sir." She solutes him and then winks at you before leaving the room. You begin to rub away the little headache that is starting to form in your brain. 

Elliot "That's it, you are staying home!"

"Oh my god."

Elliot "Nope. You are staying home and you are resting with your old dad while Five and Diego go to that Gala."

"But what if-"

Five "You are staying home, hun." You look behind you and see Five standing in your bedroom doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. 

You huff, "Why?"

Five "Just come here, will you?" You stand up and make your way over to your bedroom and wait for Five to shut the door behind him. "I want you to stay here babe."

"Why? I can help."

Five "I know that you can, but you have helped so much these last few days..you can rest tonight."

"But what if something happens? I can be there to help-"

Five "This is mine and Diego's family business. Our father will not know us and things can get dangerous."

"It already did, Five. Diego got stabbed."

Five "That is my point Y/n, I don't want that to happen to you."

"Have you forgotten that I was the one who trained you, Five?" He snickers and grins. "I showed you everything that you know. I just can't blink like you can, that is the only difference that we have between the two of us."

Five "Baby, I know how strong you are. I know how talented you are at what you do..I just have a gut feeling that you should stay home." You start to walk away from him and you sit down on your bed. He blinks his way over to you instead of walking, which makes you jolt.

"You could've walked."

Five "But where's the fun in that?" He makes you laugh and in return, he laughs. You are the only person that brings him joy. The only person that makes him genuinely happy. "But I am being serious Y/n. Please stay home, for me..stay home."

"Okay. Alright, I will." He blinks long out of relief those words gave him. 

Five "Thank you..now come on." He takes your hand.

"Where are we going now?!"

Five "To shower, we need it." Both of you smile and head towards the shower to relax and enjoy each other's company before he leaves for only god knows how long tonight. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, you watched Five, Diego and Lila leave to go to that Gala. You really wanted to go with them but Five would not allow it. For some reason, you could not change his mind. So as they went, you stayed back with your dad. 

Elliot "Oh, why such a long face?" You just look at him, "Now why such a mad face?" That makes you giggle a bit. He sits down next to you and pulls you into his arms. 

"I just have to stop worrying.."

Elliot "Yes, you do. Five is strong-"

"I taught him how to be an assassin."

Elliot's eyes got big, "Of course you did..all of the more reason why you need to stop worrying."

"Mhm.." you get up to get something to drink while your dad turns on the television to see if anything good was on. Sadly, there was nothing on but stupid politics because the president is coming to town. You roll your eyes as you hear some of the bullshit that comes from the news peoples mouths. 

Elliot "I know, I know..I'm turning it-" there is a knock on the door, startling the two of you. It couldn't be Five or Diego because Five would have just blinked his way in like he always does. "I got it sweetie." He walks over to the door and opens it. Revealing a huge man in the doorway, carrying some of his belongings.

Elliot "Can I help you?"

The man "I am looking for Five..he's my brother. He said that he would be here." You walk up to him and much to your relief, you see Luther. 

Luther "Y/n!" He drops his belongings and pulls you in for a huge bear hug. You almost don't know what to do because you don't know him like you know Diego, but nonetheless, you hug him back. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

Luther "Five told me that he would be here..is he?"

"Uh no, him and Diego just left actually."

Luther "Ah, okay. Do you know when he will be back?"

"No," you laugh, "I never know when he will be back."

Luther laughs, "Yeah well neither do his siblings.."

Elliot "Um, you are welcome to stay until he comes back." Luther places his things down on the floor and sinks his body into the sofa. "Bad day?"

Luther "Yeah." He said as he looked around the room, focusing on a bottle of nitrous.

Elliot chuckles, "Want some nitrous?" You roll your eyes.

"That is my que..goodnight boys."

Luther "Uh, you don't want-"

"No, I'll pass. You two have fun though."

Elliot "Goodnight sweetie." You just nod and head to your bed. 

You hear the two of them talking gibberish so loudly that you couldn't even rest. You have to admit that some of the things that they would say made you laugh so hard that your stomach started to hurt. But then you would remember that your boys were still at that Gala and you have no idea what is going on. The stress and anxiety it brung you made you feel nauseous. You had to repeat to yourself that he is fine, that he is okay, and that he can handle anything. But even the strongest can be unmatched with a single gunshot. That is what worries you, hell, it worried you while you had to work special jobs for the Handler a few months ago. There was a mole in the Commission and she made you fish him out. Things got messy and you ended up with a bullet wound in your side. You made it out, but the mole didn't. It was either you or him, and you had to live. Yes, you lost an old friend but he turned on you, he gave you no other choice. You put your head in the palm of your hands because you can't believe that you are thinking back on that tragedy. You even find yourself feeling for your scar over top of your shirt. 

"Come on, why do you have to do this to yourself?!" You ask yourself. "Come on, pull yourself together..pull yourself together." You repeat to yourself over and over until you stop hyperventilating. Thinking about your past when Five was gone, brings you such heartache that it leaves you shaking in the corner of your room every single time. You found that repeating that same mantra that it calms you down as best as you can without the help of Five. He knows that you struggle and he helps you immensely. So when he was gone, not only did you struggle without him, you had to deal with the loss of him as well. Needless to say, those five years were the worst years of your life. 

You force yourself up onto your bed and you position yourself into a tight human ball and hold yourself until you fall asleep from being mentally exhausted.

…

You feel a change in temperature and a flash of blue light comes into your room. You slowly blink your eyes to wake yourself up to find Five sitting at the edge of your bed. 

"..hey." you say sleepily. You hear his sniffle before he looks at you. "Five..your nose-"

Five "Yeah, I know." You are wide away now, rushing yourself towards his side. You grab a tissue and start to wipe the little blood that was coming from his left nostril. 

"What happened to you?"

Five grunts as he takes off his blazer, "The Swedes were there. They ambushed all of us."

"Oh my god-"

Five "Lila got the guy off of me." He thinks back on that exact moment. He remembers how shocked he was, how puzzled he was on why she would save him over Diego.

"She fought them off of me but not Diego..she has a hard on for Diego!"

"What, do you think that she's-"

Five "Part of the Commission, yes I do."

"If she was, we would know her."

Five "Not if the Handler has been hiding her, Y/n. Why else would she save me, huh?"

"I don't know. Maybe she has grown to like you-"

Five "Come on Y/n, wake up! We worked for that woman for years! She has tried to kill the both of us multiple times! Why is it wrong to think that Lila was sent here to spy on us?" You don't know what to say. All you can do is think. Think back on every time you almost died doing one of her missions, thinking about how you almost lost Five so many times. And how the Handler was always right there, while it was happening. It makes you sad to think that the woman who took you in, could be the woman who is trying to kill you and your husband. 

Five "Hey.."

"Hmm? Sorry I was thinking."

Five "Look, I'm not saying that I know for sure but tonight made it pretty damn obvious to me that my suspicions are correct."

"So what do we do?"

Five paces around the room, scratching his head as he walked, "I don't know yet. But I don't want you alone with her, understood?"

"Yeah." He hears the worry in your voice and his anger quickly subsides and his husband-side comes out. He cups your cheeks and he calmly kisses your lips. 

Five "I'm sorry for yelling."

"I know. Thank you for telling me your suspicions..and I believe you."

Five nods and places your hair behind your ears, "How was your night?"

"Oh..Luther is here."

Five "WHAT?" 

"Yeah uh, he showed up like a half an hour after you all left."

Five "Son of a bitch." He heads for the door but you stop him. 

"Him and my dad are high off of nitrous, you aren't going to be able to talk to him tonight."

Five chuckles, "And he's supposed to be the leader in this family." He laughs to himself. "I have to do everything.."

"Not alone Five. Never alone. You have me..remember?"

Five "I know hun, I love you. I love you so much." He holds you before kissing your entire face. 

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up so we can go to bed."

Five "Sounds amazing." He smiles and lets you help him and clean off the dried blood off of his body. You are used to seeing Five battered so this is nothing new to you. Does it ever get easier? No, of course not. But you have learned how to cope with it and so has Five.

Five "I'm done with this life Y/n. I'm done killing, I'm done working for that woman..I'm done with it all. I just want to live this second chance that we were given..peacefully. Me and you, maybe some kids running around our house..few pets..just peacefully."

You nod, "That sounds like a plan to me."

Five "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Me and you, kids and some pets..what more could a girl ask for?"

Five "I love you."

"And I love you." You finish up and then he pulls you into his arms and holds you as you both fall asleep within minutes of being in bed. The thought of being free and never returning to the Commission, honestly made you fall asleep with a huge smile on your face. Freedom will be the next chapter in your and Five's life. If the two of you make it out of this upcoming doomsday..

@moriartysringtone7137 @a-mess-of-fandoms @noellehnsherr @oh-chuck-help-me @honeybee-cherie @cocoa-creampuff @dyor @dagdrommers-blog @yikes-matey @s0ftd3m0n @itzel17 @qualitymugghostrebel @asphodelshare @ecwrenn @lilablosom @jellytoru @emily-b-m

[lausterholes]

Sugar daddy Hcs | Giorno, Diavolo, Risotto

▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀

Sorry for my thirst for Sugar daddy things. I aged up everyone into the current time’s age. (Giorno is 35, Diavolo is around 52? and Risotto is 47) I just really have something for older men asfadfdaf. 

Warning: not sfw/ (a lot of) age gap/ sugar daddy-baby relationship.

▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀

Sugar Daddy!Giorno Giovanna (35)

▀  After he became the don of the greatest mafia in Italy. Giorno just stressed out with many things he had to deal with. It’s not that he’s going to toss his work away anyway, it’s a part of his life now. He has been fulfilling his role as the boss perfectly for nineteen years. Everything went faultlessly within those hands.

▀ Except for only one thing, lover. Basically, Giorno never cares about having any girl by his side. But this makes Mista genuinely feels that his don may get too stressed. He talked about this to Giorno sometimes, but the don just brushed it off.

▀ Until one day, the new problem happens in Naples. The gangsters that he had been caught his eyes on for so long caused huge trouble to the tourist. Giorno may let them go this time, but the problem is- they hurt one family that just happens to be the innocent, they tried to help and call the police, but end up beaten instead.

▀ Giorno annoyed by their unreasonable antics. Not just that- the gangsters pretend to be victims and claim for damage. Okay, that’s too much. Giorno had to step in, already decides to have someone dead. They were suspected to be traitors anyway.

▀ You, the child of the said family, are unpleasant about this. You have to pay so much for your parents’ treatment and yet- you have to pay for those bastards too, you almost get harassed, so you fight back. But you ended up looking like a culprit instead.

▀ When Giorno learned about you, he just gave a visit to the hospital right after he eliminates those scumbags. When he saw you, frowning at him- he just introduces himself and apologizes. You tried to ignore him, but Giorno catches the sadness and uneasiness in your eyes. He knew that you have struggled with the state you’re in- you lost a lot of money for these, but you have to pay for tuition too.

▀ Giorno genuinely felt bad for you, he offers to pay all of your parents’ medical treatment cost. When you denied him dismally. Giorno change the offer, he said that he will help you, but if you work with him. You hesitated but agree anyway. You just can’t let him help you for free, you don’t want to pay him back later.

▀ It started with simple tasks, such as arranging the documents, make Giorno a cup of coffee, or maybe just help him take care of his garden. Giorno didn’t expect any kind of bond, but he sure is enjoying your company. And so do you.

▀ Then, he started to spend more time with you- talking about so many things, taking you to his favorite restaurant, having a deep conversation. Giorno didn’t know what to do, you’re so young compared to him, he’s almost middle age while you’re only a college student.

▀ Unexpectedly, you confessed your idea of being his sugar baby first. And Giorno just stays silent for a bit- only for you to almost cry of shame. He just started to tease you, doesn’t he?

▀ That’s when your relationship starts. Giorno pays a lot of money on you, including your tuition cost. Or maybe just after getting intimacy with you, he inserts money in your undergarment.

▀ Always nagging you when you want to buy something you like. But purchase it anyway. Maybe he uses this against you for punishment in the bedroom.

▀ On the bed, he’s eager and not so vanilla. But your feelings have to come first- he makes sure you feel good and always reach your climax. Extra point if you call him daddy, this man will ram into you and will spoil you rotten the next day.

▀ Sometimes he bought you a pair of lingerie that seems to fit you. If you decided to wear it someday. Giorno definitely will treat you like daddy’s little princess and reward you what you deserve.

▀ 10 out of 10 sugar daddy.

▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀

Diavolo (52)

▀ Even for someone who’s fifty-two years old, he’s still hot like his old day.

▀ Diavolo is a very cautious man. He always deletes his traits and identity. Almost being fully anonymous. But is it wrong for a man who wants to be unknown to have a desire? No, of course. Diavolo still craving for touch as a human being.

▀ But he had to choose wisely for someone to being his mistress, his possession. Someone that he could truly trust, or else he had to kill right after he finished. 

▀ And his eyes caught on you, a young girl that enters passione to find extra money to pay off her own tuition cost. One day, you started your normal routine like ever. But this day, when you spot a pink-haired man in front of your college’s gate, he just approached you and said that he wants to talk to you about something in passione, his name was Doppio, he told you.

▀ You agree to come along with him. This guy looks too innocent to be one of the boss’s reliable allies. But you guess that it won’t hurt if you heard him what’s the matter he wants to talk about.

▀ Of course, Diavolo only sees you as a way to relieve himself. But more and more the conversation between Doppio and you go on, Diavolo sparked some interest. Not only because you seem devoted to what you believe and really good at keeping secret, but because you have lesser power than him, he could easily manage this.

▀ Doppio finally touches the base. He told you that his boss wants to meet you in person. You questioned why, Doppio a little embarrassed to say it- so Diavolo takes a place instead, then said. “He wants your company, maybe tomorrow, .”

▀ When you arrived at the location where Doppio hand you. You weren’t sure about this- you didn’t know anything about your boss. Did you do something wrong? Did he trick you into this? You weren’t sure for real.

▀ The security was safest of the safe, if there’s disaster outside, you assured that he’ll be totally fine. You nervously entered his room. The room was dark and really cold. Even you embrace yourself, you couldn’t warm up.

▀ You heard his voice aloud in the deepest corner, demand you come closer. You were afraid of what might happen, but it’ll be better to listen to your boss.

▀ He started a conversation with you, making you feel as comfortable as he can. While the conversation goes on, Diavolo crept closer to you, showing his longing feeling that you must be the one to fulfill it. He knew that you have some trouble with your tuition fees and needs in your life you couldn’t afford, he might help you. That’s why you agree.

▀ You were loyal like a dog, keeping secret deep in your mind. The mysterious relationship with the most cautious mafia boss is something you never expected to have. Diavolo really pleased with you, he never played favorite before, but now he is.

▀ Diavolo is rough and such a selfish bastard. He treated you like he owns you as his personal fuck toy. All the nights you spend are nothing more than rough sex. Once he finished- he may lead you to a pillow talk or just leave you on his bed and go bathing.

▀ Diavolo likes the idea of dressing you up as he pleased, feeling completely own you.

▀ When you’re underneath him, call him daddy, and you’ll get the best orgasm you’d had. Maybe sometime, he might get carried away and end up driving you into the oblivion.

▀ Spoiled you rotten, but he’s rough and you feel quite awkward. 7/10

▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀

Risotto Nero (47)

▀ Oh boy. The best sugar daddy is here. Even compare to the other two, he still a little broke. But trust me, he is better for your mental health.

▀ Imagine about Risotto’s ideal wife. Usually, this man doesn’t specific his type of girl. At this age, Risotto started to think about retirement and family. He wants to go back to Sicily and lived a normal life he could ever have since he was eighteen.

▀ Maybe Risotto just really hoped that he could really find someone.

▀ While some of his teammates retired and got replaced by the new ones, he’s still there, being a capo every now and then. Leading the team as he always did in the past. But really? His path couldn’t be changed, but he can retire anytime he wants though.

▀ Then, he met you. The newest member of passione, so young, but mature and free. He wants to treat you like any other, but you’re so attractive in his eyes. He’s a little guilty of that. You seem like you haven’t finished your college yet. He doesn’t even know other than being awkward when you two are alone. Such a big himbo.

▀ Risotto is not a guy you could read like an open book, that’s why you always keep your professionalism with him all the time. But when you learned a glimpse of his fonding toward you, you shall be the one that opens your heart first.

▀ You spend more time with your capo, he’s much older than you, yes, but that’s not making him less attractive. But that’s how it starts, awkward tea time and a little conversation.

▀ One day, Risotto said that he’ll afford you anything you’d like to have. Even you could pay with your own money, Risotto suggests that you should save it for good. He even let you use his credit card, you really appreciate this- but isn’t he too generous for you?

▀ Once he gets comfortable with you more, Risotto started being like himself again. All cool and discreet. Risotto at this age is someone you would head over heels with. Not just his attractive older figure, but also his personality that even more sensible. You just couldn’t enough of him.

▀ He is a busy man but can meet you several times a month. The meeting doesn’t always end up with sex, maybe just a conversation with a good dinner.

▀ Risotto expected you to call him daddy during the intercourse, he doesn’t react with his words, neither with his expression. Looks like he doesn’t care, but his movement said otherwise, Risotto would actually break you along with the bedpost that keeps slamming onto the wall. He loves it.

▀ He might let you queening him as a reward for being a good girl. His tongue feels like heaven, each stroke driving you insane. And you wouldn’t dare to be naughty with him, would you? Or else you’ll be roughly fucked your brain out.

▀ The aftercare with Risotto is the best, he’ll do anything to please you. Drink? check. Food? check. Comfy bed? check. Bath? check. All the things you need are already prepared by him.

▀ As soon as you okay with it, maybe Risotto might make you a real wife of his, then he can peacefully retire and live the rest of his life with you.

▀ 10/10 recommend.

▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

Being Human - Chapter 21

<= Chapter 20

Summary : Snatcher learns that being younger doesn't bring many perks in a dangerous situation. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826561/chapters/72785430

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Hello people ! New chapter (although a bit shorter than usual, because my inspiration isn't easy to summon, these days... I hope it's still okay !)

Thank you so much for your likes and reblog, they mean so much to me !

The “Oh The Humanity” AU belongs to @doodledrawsthings​​ !

Happy reading !

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Chapter 21 - “Don’t come any closer!”

Snatcher couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe- his eyes were fixed on the Queen’s, who was staring at him with curiosity and with confusion. But that wasn’t so surprising, especially given her unstable mind. After all, she had been chasing her dear Prince down… Only for him to disappear and leave his place to a kid that looked exactly the same as he did when he was younger.

Because, well, that was what had happened. Snatcher had broken the Time Piece, hoping to save the rest of his group… But only managing to turn his body to what it used to be hundreds of years ago, when he was just a young Prince being taught manners and how to become the perfect heir… It all went to waste in the end, when his bright future was shattered as he was locked up in a cellar, left to die.

And now, his murderer was standing right in front of him, crouched to his level, staring at him with great interest. Why… Why wasn’t she killing him? She hadn’t had any remorse to murder the hatted brat and Moonjumper, just like the entirety of Subcon Village centuries ago! So why was this time so different? What was the reason? She didn’t seem to notice he was, well, him, so…

-“Cat got your tongue?” she joked, smiling at him, her head tilted to the side. How could she smile when she had just killed two people, possibly three- no, she hadn’t had the time to kill the bow-wearing child. She had been too busy chasing him to do so. Nonetheless, the way she could just behave that way after everything she did… It made him livid.

How dared she?!

-“Don’t come any closer!” The now young Prince outstretched his arms in front of him as a threat. Under strong emotions, the former ghost’s powers had manifested much more than what he had first thought. Ice melted against fire… And he would not hesitate to use magic, not only to defend himself, but also to eliminate Vanessa once and for all, avenging all the people she had murdered. With how furious he was, it would be easy to summon at least enough flames to make her step back- however, all he could do was to summon two small flames on each forefinger.

What the…

His eyes widened, looking at his own hands, a mix of confusion and horror spreading inside him. Why…?! He had been able to summon them perfectly earlier, so why was this time so different! Was it because he had acted on instinct back then? What about now, wasn’t he currently acting on instinct? This couldn’t be it, this had to be something else, something that just made sense- And then, it hit him.

He was a kid again, frail, fragile… And around the same age as his old self when he had started to learn how to summon flames, when all he could do was summoning small, little fires out of his fingers. When he was…

Completely harmless, with no possibility of using his powers for his own survival.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he glanced back to Vanessa, scared of the way she might react, the flames dying down on his fingers. Fire magic had always been passed from one generation to another in his family. He himself had inherited it from his mother, and Vanessa knew this too, as her own lineage had been gifted with ice magic.

And now the latter had everything in front of her to recognize him, to see past his frail and childish appearance- this was over, now, wasn’t it? She was going to realize who he really was, that her “dear Prince” had never disappeared out of nowhere, that he had just gotten younger from a bad, very bad decision. What was she going to do…? Freeze him to death? Hurt him? Would she… Take him back to the cellar? His face paled at the thought and his limbs started shaking.

He couldn’t go back there, no, he couldn’t-

-“Oh…!” the Queen’s voice interrupted his train of thoughts and his breathing rhythm quickened in consequence: “Where… Where did you learn that?” she suddenly asked, confusion and suspicion written all over her ghostly face. At this moment, Snatcher knew she had caught on his fire magic… Yet, she hadn’t seemed to understand who he truly was… Yet.

He had to find something, quick! Considering the way she was staring at him, trying to determine who he was, this was his last and only chance to convince her he was just a normal kid. But, then again, would it be a good idea? The hatted brat had been a complete stranger to her, and she hadn’t even hesitated in freezing her to death…

At the thought of the little girl, Snatcher clenched his jaw. She hadn’t deserved to die like this… Sure, he had wanted her dead for so long, but… Not like this! Not by Vanessa’s hand.

Did his attempt with the Time Piece even worked…? Or was his age the only thing that had changed…? He couldn’t know. And if it did work, then… Then he would need to buy some time. For now, this was all he could do. Thus, the little boy straightened up and forced himself to keep a neutral expression, swallowing his fear back. This was his only chance, he couldn’t mess up…!

-“I… I learnt that all by myself,” he answered, doing his best to sound confident.

This was not successful, as his voice broke near the end, something he tried to hide with a cough. Fortunately for him, Vanessa apparently didn’t notice it, tilting her head more as she listened to his answer.

-“… You look like him so much,” was what she replied, her voice full of nostalgia… And suspicion. She was on the verge of finding out who he was, who he really was… And perhaps the reason she still hadn’t figured it out was because of her mental instability. He had to use this!

-“L-like who?” he stammered, yet frowned, trying to look confused himself. However, this wasn’t so easy to fake an emotion while facing his own murderer. Then again, it would all depend on Vanessa’s unstable mind. It was so frustrating to put his own life and possibly his team’s on the line, just to hope the Queen would believe his lies.

Well, she hadn’t believed him when he had told her the truth, centuries ago… Maybe, now, she would see his lies as truth?

-“No one,” Vanessa lied and shook her head, looking a bit more… Relaxed, her eyes staring into space, and Snatcher wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not. Well, at least, she hadn’t killed him yet, so it was most likely the latter, so far…

The former ghost took advantage of her brief inattention to crawl away through the deep snow, hoping she wouldn’t see him or wouldn’t catch the movement in the corner of her vision- but she did. When her red eyes glanced back at him, his entire body froze.

-“Tell me, little one,” she smiled at him again, and Snatcher couldn’t help but shiver at the sight- he was not reassured in the least: “Why don’t you come home with me?” she offered, suddenly much more joyful than before. She clasped her hands together, her thin and long clawed fingers intertwining with one another… Gods, this was a terrifying sight, and her intonation didn’t help either.

-“H-home…?” repeated the former shade, not only taken aback but also shocked by the offer. Oh, this was bad, very, very bad… The mere thought of going back to that cursed place was enough to get him to tremble even more, terrible and traumatizing memories coming back to haunt him. If he followed her there… He was sure he wouldn’t come out of it unscathed.

… If he even survived in that last case, that was.

The child shook his head, faking a smile on his face, though it looked nothing like one. Instead, it just looked like a nervous grin, one that was all but genuine. He couldn’t go there, no, he couldn’t…!

-“N…No, thanks,” he refused politely, his body moving on its own again as Snatcher started to crawl back once more. The snow was crackling at each of his movement, the sound seeming louder than it really was, under the thick tension in the air. However… Before he was able to do anything else, the Queen threw herself forward, quickly grabbing his left wrist with an unnatural speed. Yet, what stroke him the most was how cold her grip was. Snatcher felt like he was directly touching some ice- no, it was even colder than that.

In any case, it made him stop immediately, his wide eyes staring into the monster his fiance had become. His face was now deadly pale: what would she do to him…? Was she going to kill him on the spot…? Vanessa’s grip was strong- too strong, and for a moment, the former ghost felt his weak bones crack a bit under the pressure. Her face was… Different than before, more severe, more… Irritated. It didn’t take much more for him to wince and let out a whine both of pain and fear, clear indications of his suffering… It was only there that the Queen’s grip loosened a bit, changing into motherlike caresses on the back of his left hand.

Snatcher’s heart was pounding in his chest, the beating of his own heart echoing in his ears, his breath getting quicker and quicker… His eyes kept flickering between hers and his hand, hoping she wouldn’t change her mind and break his wrist in the end. Yet, she just kept rubbing his skin… As a new, terrifying smile crept its way on her lips, her fangs now visible more than ever before.

This sight was absolutely terrifying for Snatcher- and for a reason he couldn’t quite place yet, he felt tears filling his eyes, without being able to control them. What was happening to him…? Vanessa noticed them at the same time and approached her free hand to his face, wiping his tears off his eyes. Of course, having such dangerous, long, clawed fingers near his eyes was something Snatcher wanted to avoid at all cost… It wasn’t like he could do anything other than closing his eyes, a pitiful whine escaping his lips.

Snatcher was… Terrorized, unable to do anything but just staying still and wait.

-“There, there,” Vanessa tried to soothe him, though it was more than unsuccessful, for very obvious reasons: “It’s okay, don’t worry… Come with me, it’s dangerous out there. I could bake you some cookies! Would you like that?”

The former shade’s eyes widened once more as he heard her words, her offer. It wasn’t one, he knew that. She wasn’t asking him to come, no… This was nothing but an order, a polite one, but also one that he had no other choice but to follow. Oh, sure, he was already imagining lots and lots of scenarios where he would run away, trying to flee… But he knew very well that Vanessa would be quick to catch him again. And after that? It would only depend on how annoyed she would become because of his actions… However, he was almost certain this wouldn’t just result in a little slap on his hand.

He had been shackled for so long in a cellar just for talking to a woman he didn’t even know that much. How would she even react with him trying to run away? He was too scared to try… And this body, this small and even more fragile one, seemed to lack the strength and courage to even think of running away.

Had his mind become… Younger too, somehow…? He didn’t want to think about it, and even if he did… This really wasn’t the time for it.

Before he was able to answer, the Queen pulled him back up with a strength that was unexpected coming from her. She never let go of his hand, on the contrary: her grip had become tighter as if she had guessed Snatcher’s plans of escaping.

-“Now, now,” she told him with a tone that was too nice to be true: “It’s unpolite to refuse a lady’s offer, you know? It’s okay, though,” she continued, before a voice changed to something more… Dangerous.

-“You look like a nice child. Teaching you manners doesn’t seem impossible…”

The Queen pulled him closer again as she started to walk, walk towards a place he knew all too well. The former shade tried to resist, tried to get his hand back, wanted nothing more than just to run away and never look back- but he knew he couldn’t. First, he was aware Vanessa wouldn’t let him do anything… And he had still something left to do.

Avenge his counterpart and the hatted brat. No, he would not let Vanessa go away with this…

-“Come on,” she urged him, still pulling him forward, ignoring his attempts at getting free: “A man shouldn’t make a lady wait~!”

Snatcher had no other choice but to follow, already fearing for what was to come. What would happen to him…? To the bow-wearing kid, still trapped in her ice prison…? The little boy knew she was clever and find a way to escape- that was, unless the blizzard killed her first. Unfortunately… Vanessa seemed more than determined to prevent him from saving his ex-contractor.

Snatcher was scared, no, he was terrified… He knew he had all the reasons to be.

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Thank you for your support, it means so much to me ! See you on the next chapter !

=> Chapter 22

[mustlovemustypages]

Yuletide 2020 Letter

Dear potential writer,

I truly hope all is well with you and yours. No matter what state you find yourself in, my wish is that Yuletide boosts your spirits and gives you the extra jolt we all could use to usher in the new year. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter and thank you in advance if you decide to write anything for me!

Below are my desired fandoms and pairings along with story ideas that I would love to see written. Please don’t feel stifled by my prompts; I’ve also listed my general likes and dislikes at the very bottom of this letter if you decide to go a different route.

Little Women (2019):

Characters: Amy March and Theodore “Laurie” Laurence”

The main reason I adore this adaptation is because it made me see why Amy and Laurie ended up together. They had very similar worldviews and fit so well what the other needed. Both deserved to be with someone that valued them for who they are. With Laurie, Amy was not just financially secure but with someone who encouraged her to express herself creatively, politically, or however she chose. With Amy, while she grounded Laurie in reality and challenged him to be the best version of himself, he didn't have to fundamentally change to make her happy.

Story ideas:

These quotes really show how Amy's perspective on life was different than her sister's: "You are your family's hope." (Aunt March) "I’ve always known I would marry rich." (Amy March) That's a lot of pressure on someone so young. We heard some of Laurie's thoughts, mostly that he didn't think Amy should feel ashamed for wanting that. How would some of that pressure continue even after she got married, and what would Laurie say to make her realize they were in life together as a team and she didn’t have to suffer the weight of the world alone?

The conversation between Amy and Laurie in the painting studio showed just how level-headed and intelligent she was. Laurie, while not wholly agreeing, was respectful and didn't discount her thoughts. It would be interesting to see the impact on their story if Vaughn hadn't arrived, and this had played out more. Would the proposal have happened earlier and/or how would later scenes be altered as a result of further conversation?

What did the other characters think of Amy and Laurie's relationship, and how did it change after seeing them interact more as a couple? It would be interesting to read about Meg, Marmee, John, or some of the other characters realizing they were genuinely a good match for each other.

Post-canon, I'd love to get a glimpse of what kinds of conversations they had. Did Amy encourage Laurie to pursue a career and find what he was passionate about (music perhaps as Laurie mentioned writing an opera)? And similarly, did Laurie encourage Amy to pursue her art? Did they continue to have in-depth conversations about societal pressures and expectations of gender in certain economic classes?

Tenet:

Characters: The Protagonist, Kat, and Neil

Tenet is the first movie I've seen in theaters since Star Wars IX. There have been some mixed reviews, but my love for Christopher Nolan sci-fi films combined with the experience of stepping foot in a theater again made it a wonderful experience for me. Sure, the plot could be confusing at times, but it was fun trying to fit certain puzzle pieces together and oh so thrilling when things just clicked into place in the most satisfying ways.

I adored the dynamic between Neil and the Protagonist. The easy friendship, the banter, the suits... everything. I also loved the relationship between the Protagonist and Kat. It started off as each using the other but transformed into one of genuine care on both sides. Ever the romantic, I definitely saw something more than just friendship between the two and was slightly disappointed the movie didn't explore that aspect more.  

For pairings, I’m interested in friendships between all of the characters. I’d be interested in seeing a romantic relationship between Kat and the Protagonist if you’re up for that, but not between Neil and Kat, nor Neil and the Protagonist. If you really want to give a romantic partner to Neil, I'd be fine with Laura (or an original female character if she’s not the focus of the story), but please, no slash. While I’d be ecstatic to see all three characters together, if you can only find a way to fit in two, that’s wonderful as well!

Story ideas:

Even though Andrei Sator is gone, there are still other players in the game, some like Priya, who want to eliminate Kat or even abduct her with the delusional idea she can continue her husband's work. The Protagonist (and Neil, if you so choose) ensures no harm comes to her, and he realizes that keeping her at a distance may not have been the best idea.

I personally don't buy into the fan theory that Neil is Kat's son Max; however, I do find the idea intriguing and would be up for reading about how that worked. The Protagonist breaks his rule and sees Kat, helping to raise her son Max/Neil and eventually teaching him about inversion.

The Protagonist doesn't have to wait quite as long as he'd thought to see Neil again. It can be the Neil who had already met him and knows about Tenet or the Neil who knows nothing about inversion.

What conversations did Neil and Kat have while the Protagonist was asleep after almost freezing to death? Maybe Neil explained the finer workings of Tenet and inversion more in-depth. Perhaps they discussed the Protagonist. 

Clueless:

Characters: Cher Horowitz and Josh Lucas

This movie set the bar high for teen romantic comedies. How can anyone ever beat 90s Alicia Silverstone and Paul Rudd? Plus, the relationship between their two characters is fantastic. Josh and Cher just bring out the best in each other. Cher shows Josh that he doesn't need to be so serious all of the time and that people are more than their outer appearances. Josh makes Cher want to be a better person, and he believes that she's not just a pretty face. Their banter and playful moments always make me smile.

Story ideas:

Knowing Josh and Cher end up together, this brings a heightened awareness to rewatches. They have so many casual touches and exchanged glances (when did Paul Rudd's eyes get so blue?) that it's hard to miss their natural chemistry. It may take quite some time for Cher's dad to notice anything has changed because they don't act all that different from before. Is there something that makes him finally take notice? How does he react?

Sort of related to the last prompt, there's a moment where Josh decides to go to the dance to keep an eye on Cher and Christian, and you can tell by Mel Horowitz’s smirk he realizes Josh has a crush on Cher. Does he do anything to push it along or play matchmaker just like his daughter?

I've always been curious about whether or not Josh believes Cher's story about being assaulted in the car by Elton and then held at gunpoint. We skip over Josh pulling up to the phone booth and go straight to Cher already being in the car. How did Josh react when she reiterated the story, and does he instantly believe her, or does it take some convincing? I'd like to see if he comforts her and if they both go together to tell Cher's dad what happened.

Cher is obviously very intelligent socially, if not always so much academically. When it comes time to apply for college, what does she major in? And how is Josh a positive influence in Cher's life, encouraging her to be ambitious and not letting negative comments from guidance counselors or teachers dissuade her?

Things I don’t like:

Alternate Universes – For the specific fandoms that I picked, I really like the universes as they are. I’m definitely okay with deviations from canon, but please don’t make Little Women into a supernatural werewolf story or have Tenet take place in a mundane coffee shop setting. (I don’t mind Soulmate AUs or something similar because those can be incorporated into canon with little change to worldbuilding).

Non-Con/Rape/BDSM/Sexual Violence/Graphic Sex – I like my characters to be happy and everything within ships to be 100% consensual, no question about it (mentions of non-con if it occurred in canon is fine). I also prefer plot over porn, especially with one-shots.

OT3s – Two people per romantic relationship, please. Any more than that makes me uncomfortable.

Character Bashing - Unless a character is a bad guy in canon, I don’t want to read hundreds of words about how awful they are, especially if they are one of the characters that I requested. Don’t take it out on the characters. If you hate my pairings, just write gen.

Things I love:

Hurt/Comfort – There is nothing I love more than one character comforting another. The hurt can be physical, psychological, or both.  

Happy Endings – I’m all for the realistic endings… but if they could be plausible AND at least happy-ish, that would be amazing.

Expanded Scenes/Contorting Canon – Feel free to expand scenes and change up the canon to your heart’s content as long as it makes logical sense.

Humor/Banter/Snark – I thrive on this stuff.

Bonding/Building Relationships – Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, I adore reading about two people growing closer together. When characters know each other so well that they can have conversations with just their eyes or anticipate the person’s next move (especially if it’s to the surprise/confusion of everyone around them), my shipper heart is thrilled.

Dark to Light – Seeing a character come out of a bad mindset or situation and get better is so satisfying.

Happy writing and I hope you get the Yuletide gift of your dreams!

- Maddy @mustlovemustypages (on Tumblr, Ao3, and FF.net)

[elopez7228]

Scenic Route 42/47

”Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

***

The week had been a nightmare for Phasma, who retired to bed with a terrible migraine. It was Tuesday, July 9th.

The last few days had been spent hunting down the mole (or moles) that Hux suspected were operating within FORCE. She’d started by firing trainees and interns, as well as all temporary contract workers. Then it was time to cast a wider net: which employees were most likely to sell confidential information to the enemy? Obviously, employees with two things, access and incentive.

Which departments had access to sensitive files? Legal and Accounting came to mind, as well as the Sales and Marketing departments, to a lesser extent. And of course there were employees who had access by overriding authorization—IT, computer scientists, developers, and certain engineers. Now it became a game of duck duck goose to see who had the guts and the ideological motivation to betray FORCE.

To that end, Phasma spent hours knee-deep in social networks and company email servers tracking various conversations and file uploads. Her goal was to find the right circle—employees who were passionate about leftist political causes, social activism, and global warming. She made a folder for everyone at FORCE with a left-wing bent: registered Democrats, Socialists, 99-percenters, Women’s March organizers, pro-choicers, anti-NRAs, vegetarians, vegans, anti-capitalists, social justice warriors, queers and their allies, first and second generation immigrants, Native Americans, non-Christians and atheists...the list was endless.

Eons later, she had a beautifully organized database that was split between mostly-Republican WASPs (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants) and...practically everyone else. Finally, she had a place to begin digging deeper.

To start, she sent a discreet memo to the potential allies in the first group.

“Following a confidential data leak within the company, we are offering rewards to those who report suspicious behavior. Examples include reporting on colleagues who work abnormally late, finish tasks later than expected, take frequent private calls or smoke breaks, or appear “burned out”. Signs of burnout can include excessive  fatigue, high caffeine consumption, dress code violations such as coming to work with dirty or disheveled clothing, and falling asleep during work hours. We also encourage you to report anyone with obvious signs of mental distress such as nail biting or other nervous tics, excessive smoking or drinking, and aggressive or depressive episodes.”

The memo she sent to the second group of potential suspects was decidedly different.

"The resale of critical business information by an unidentified employee has endangered the well-being of the company. Due to the financial implications of such a large data breach, management is considering immediately eliminating optional employee benefits. Funding for mandatory employee benefits such as health insurance will likely be reduced but not entirely eliminated over the next three months. A wave of necessary layoffs is also being discussed. The only way to prevent the above losses is to mitigate the damage of the data breach. We encourage you to reach out to your supervisor with any relevant information.”

Barely a day later, she had collected all sorts of useful information. Hell, she made a note to follow up with HR. The company was always rife with competition but she hadn’t expected to collect this much dirt on so many other issues. Still, her preliminary results led to one department in particular: IT.

The IT department was a strange conundrum. Half a dozen people had the level of access she was looking for—senior engineers who reported directly to Snoke and Hux, the holiest of the holy. But all of them were Category One WASPs. Why would any of them need to sell secrets to the enemy? The reasons were most likely financial instead of political. Loans, medical debt, kids to send to college, etcetera. She created a separate task force to peel back their personal lives and follow them around the clock.

She smiled. Finally, the Knights of Phasma. No wonder Kylo Ren had such a massive ego, pompous ass that he was.

It proved to be a largely fruitless task. Her agents found no evidence of both access to sensitive information and financial woes in any of the employees’ lives. If anything, their existence was frighteningly monotonous.

That finding narrowed down her list of suspects in IT to one. One Galen Erso, who had been reported by several of his coworkers for insomnia, irritability, moodswings, and borderline paranoia. It was a recurring issue with his supervisors. The man fit the description of train wreck to a tee.

A full background check revealed that he had severely underplayed his technical abilities when he was interviewed. Although he was currently a network engineer, he had enjoyed a long and successful stint as a freelance white-hat hacker, defying some of the toughest corporate security systems and even appearing on the cover of WIRED Magazine. Unsurprisingly, his transition to a salaried job came shortly after the birth of his first child. He didn’t do very much hacking after that, probably embracing the 9-to-5 life to provide a stable means of income for his family. Phasma marked his file with a red sticky note.

She had another suspect, an older woman named Mara Jade who had been radicalized since the last election. Apparently she had participated in all the protests that followed, suddenly posting a steady stream of “urgent climate action” content to her Twitter account. She was a legal assistant with access to several sealed case files. This called for another red sticker.

The tall woman sprayed her face with cool water, observing her own reflection in the bathroom mirror. She had two suspects, out of thousands of employees. What if her instincts were wrong? What if she had overlooked better leads? She only had a few days to carry out this massive task...if she wasn’t careful—or worse, if  the whistleblower got away—Earth Soldiers would be one step closer to winning this trial.

Galen Erso's professional background check had put her on edge. If this guy was a genuine professional hacker, how could she be sure that he wasn’t spying on the contents of her computer as soon as she logged on? He was also a network engineer, after all.

In doubt, she had printed hard copies of all the available information and reimaged her laptop.

The computer now sat uselessly on her nightstand. She didn't dare turn it on again. Yet she continued to check emails from her phone. What difference was there? Could she still be monitored? She would have had to ask the head of network security...Galen Erso. No, she wasn’t about to do that.

In her bag, she carried an unmarked leather folder containing the results of her investigation. She was going to deliver it to Armitage Hux with her own hands, and have Jade and Erso arrested. Both would be under close surveillance until the trial ended. They would have no contact with the outside world, interrogated if necessary. They would crack one way or another.

The most infuriating part of Phasma’s job was driving all the way to Bozeman and back  to retrieve Skylar Ren. Did they really think it was a better idea to waste her time than to have the moron hike for a few miles and take a cab? It took her over fifteen hours to get there, pick up his sorry ass and slap his stupid face, and then another fifteen or so to get back. Almost two days down the drain.

At least they were sure he was a mole. A pathetic loner who wanted to fill his own bank account through blackmail. He made the fatal mistake of biting the hand that fed him. The last she heard, he was somewhere in FORCE’s underground compound, where Hux had no doubt sent someone to take care of him.

Barely able to sleep, Phasma grabbed the suspect folder and emptied its contents on to her duvet. Her fingers slid over the hundreds of pages of emails, photographs and testimonies that she had carefully collected and printed.

She was supposed to report her findings to Hux the next morning, in person. It was too sensitive to do over the phone. She had an appointment in his office at 8 AM sharp.

Ding.

It took a few seconds for her to realize that it wasn't her phone. It was the front door.

At 11 PM?

Heart pounding, she grabbed the handgun that she kept under her pillow, her bare feet cautiously approaching the door. Silently, she glanced through the peephole.

It was Kylo Ren.

[rkmason]

▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟  EP. 5 PERFORMANCE ▰▰▰▰▰▰

is it his number that makes them the first up for the week? he wonders but doesn’t want the answer. that’s how he’s always been— afraid to know the answers. because when you ask a question, when you ask certain questions, there’s an answer in mind. one you have for yourself, one you make or take for yourself with each thought, each move, each breath. for so long, minho thought making his own answers was as easy as what his grandfather and mother taught him: be you. b.yu. that’s all he needs. but he thinks he’s undeserving of the name honoring his maternal grandfather this week— that’s his problem, one he doesn’t have an answer for even as they’re on the way to the studio.

his problem: he convinces himself he doesn’t deserve anything

too good at pretending that nothing bothers him, nothing stays on his mind, that he’s anidiot so it must slip off effortlessly right? ignorance is bliss. he thinks this again, but it’s a lie. a sugarcoated lie that can’t be an answer to anything no matter how hard he tries.  

fist clenched as he thinks of what his sister had to say this time, his jaw feels tense, and he has to will himself to stop, has to will himself to exhale. breathe, minho, just breathe. he didn’t think he’d have to tell himself this the longer the show goes on, the closer they are to the final. the truth is, he didn’t think they’d let him get this far and maybe, just maybe, his sister is right. he’s spent all week going back and forth about it, trying to sort out this and figure out that when he misses the days he didn’t worry about any of it.

it’s supposed to be simple. be you. just dance.

but now it’s a string of rules that don’t make sense, results that continue to shake him to the core and he wonders when everything will feel like they make sense again.

  ●●●●●●      LAST WEEK, ON THE FOURTH EPISODE OF MGA S5 — 7월 18일      ●●●●●●

he’d been right, about the greed that was starting to grip his heart.

he’d been right and, damn, well that wasn’t the answer he wanted either. i didn’t even ask, he mentally gripes, because it’s a meme and a genuine complaint all in one. when his name is called, when seunghun’s name is called especially, he feels relieved, excited, too hopeful.

when the winner of the week isn’t them, that greed is flowing through his veins; it’s too late. he feels disappointment settle more heavily than he thought it would. top 3 is good too. more than good. it’s amazing and normally he’d be happy with it, but he can’t deny that people expected him to win, whether they believe in his past or in his experience or his talent. whether they think it’s just his name or because of his performance, because of his performance with seunghun, because they both did beautifully in his eyes— he knows what’s said, what’s expected, and he feels bad all over again that he could be dragging seunghun down.

what if he could’ve gotten top 3 with someone else and won? what if he blamed himself just because of minho? what if people spoke poorly of him because of minho? the competitions he was used to as kid and a teen weren’t like this. you’re a team but you still performance individually at least half the time. you mess up your routine? that’s on you. but this is… ah, he should be used to it by now right? being a trainee and debuting… but it’s not the same. a reality competition show isn’t the same. at that age, he doesn’t remember being as mentally strong as they were. as nakyung. as seunghun. he doesn’t remember being so strongly ambitious, with a specific goal in mind. he had the outline, the generic basics down, but… now, now, when he’s directly paired with someone else and didn’t win, now is when he feels like he took someone else’s opportunity away.

when they’re moving off stage, minho keeps apologizing to seunghun and he has to pretend that the studio is “dry as hell,” using a lame excuse of using eye drops for why his eyes seem the way they do. how does he go back now? how does he rest knowing they came so close and fell short and he could’ve done more? couldn’t he have?

this line of thinking isn’t like him and he feels almost nauseous. there’s some ill foreboding feeling looming over him, goosebumps lining his arms, and he feels haunted. haunted in how his eyelids suddenly feel heavy, how his hands don’t feel like they belong to him the more he waits for the filming to conclude. he barely concentrates during eliminations, only knows a moment of oh hey when it turns out jinyoung and jackson did come back like he was thinking and hoping for.  finding out they’re going to be put in trios is surprising to him. he can’t recall right then and there if they’ve done it before but— the next detail they’ve given answers that feeling he was trying to shake off.

SPHERE ENTERTAINMENT, TRIOS 1 AND 2

no, it can’t be.

he’s reading it wrong, isn’t he?

because why not? he’s suddenly jared, 19, and never fucking learned how to read.

it’s gotta be wrong. send him back to first grade or whatever grade you’re supposed to start reading. is it earlier than that? dammit, why doesn’t he know this or remember? maybe jared is his alter ego.

but he’s happy about his team, he really is. because he’s liked jeon heejin since he heard her sing and kyul is a born dancer. he can’t imagine them not making it all the way on the show and no that’s not why he likes them, not why he likes being teamed up with them. if we’re being totally honest, he has no idea how the three of them will work out as a trio when they’re more evenly split as a rapper, a dancer, and a singer. how do they highlight each skill they have without sacrificing another?

it feels like a classic movie moment when they all meet up and he wouldn’t have it any other way the more he gets to know them over dinner, how they’re all eager to work their plan out, all too eager to give up their own main skill to focus on another for the sake of the group, andthat makes him feel better about this being a competition: that you can still feel like friends despite it all.

they could’ve just focused on one, maybe two skills, considering giving priority to one and hope the rest will work out on stage, any stage they do could be carried by heejin’s vocals, by kyul’s dancing, he knows this, but the fact they they’ll get to work with both in such a fun way… he didn’t think he’d calm down and let go of the feelings from earlier. having heejin and kyul around make it easy.

being alone makes it difficult. being alone lets him think too much again, and again, andagain. being alone means he thinks of everything that’s happened for the past few months and his mind is too restless for his body to handle. leg shaking, fingertips tapping, hair ruffled, tossing and turning in bed when he finally gives up on going through the technicalities of what they’re planning to do, the layout of the stage, the audio, everything and anything but it’s not distracting enough. his mind drifts and wanders only to come back to the same destructive thoughts as if he’s permanently tethered to them.

sleep doesn’t come to him at all.

instead, he’s up way too early, his morning run completed before dabin’s able to call him and ask about joining. he’s confused and laughing, along with jaeseop when they stand outside minho’s room waiting for him to come out of the shower.

“so you’re saying… you already did your normal run and took a shower?”

he can’t see a damn thing but jaeseop is mouthing to dabin that there’s no way minho slept last night. even if they said it to his face, he couldn’t be mad. when he comes out dressed to head to sphere, he’s still distracted, confused. distraught is the one descriptive he misses but it’s damn close to being the most accurate when you add everything up.

seik’s called over before he can say anything to stop them from this parade just so he can head over to the designated company practice room and he’s sighing when seik comes, his first words being “what’s wrong with him?” face scrunched up, he sighs as he leans back in the ottoman, chin resting in the palm of his hand as he leans on the chair’s arm. “why does anything have to be wrong with me?”

the last thing he wanted to hear was a chorus between the three of them of “you’re going to sphere.” there’s a lot he can think of now but all he hears is white noise, static, a light ringing in his ear and it’s probably the lack of sleep, right?

funnily enough, he originally planned on taking his bike or taking public transportation, orhell walking/running to sphere because it was still so damn early. he can’t figure out if it’s the change in plans on the sleep deprivation in this case too when he starts feeling a little carsick. who the hell let jaeseop take the wheel instead of seik? instead, the 2nd oldest of them all is sitting in the backseat with minho and he reaches out to punch minho’s shoulder.

“what?”

“hey, gimme something more than that. we’re not expecting you to, you know…”

it’s weird for seik not to be the most direct one in the vicinity. even with strangers, seik can be a little too honest so he stares at his friend for a while, feels bad that all three of them are there because they’re worried about him.

“i’m good. really. it was bound to happen, right? why would mnet miss an opportunity to set this up?” he does gotta give them that. the only thing that could make it worse is if they add in coaches and he runs into familiar faces more directly than he might today. his plans when it comes to that is to use his prior knowledge of the building to his advantage but… how far can that get him in the long run? it’s not like he wants to avoid anyone… ah, scratch that. he literally admitted it in one of his previous performances— the performance that got him his first win this season and set the stage for the pressure that’s currently on his shoulders.

he is avoiding them so he’s thinking of the best route to take and see the least amount of trainees and staff possible— “did you write a letter this time?”

“huh?”

“don’t you do it every time?” dabin asks from the front passenger seat. “when you t—” seik makes a sound of disapproval that he passes off as a loud grunt and jaeseop’s punching his leg even though he should keep his hand on the gear shift or the steering wheel at least.

dabin does have a point and minho chuckles, leans an arm against the window as he looks out. they’re close now. no going back now. ironically, that’s what he thought when he left the last time too. he thought that was it, that he wasn’t gonna walk through those doors again. whether it’s punishment or to encourage him, he hasn’t decided yet, hasn’t determined it, hasn’t found  the answer.

there’s no letter this time. it feels too early, too soon, in the show, and in general. he doesn’t know the outcome yet, what could he say? what would he say? the truth is, he isn’t sure she read either letter from the last two times anyway but he doesn’t mention it at all when the car is parked and they look to him expectantly.

“uh… alright, thanks for the ride. i’m going.”

dabin’s whining is overshadowed by the grip seik has on his arm before he opens the door. “you know what to do.” it’s too open-ended to any outsider but minho smiles because he gets it, because friends like this, friends he’s had for years and know him well enough that five words is enough to settle him down enough to walk inside, are the only ones he should’ve let know about his relationship. he knows better now. he can walk in with that knowledge confidently, even if it’s the only thing he’s confident about when he does.

when he reaches the sidewalk on the same side of the street as sphere, jaeseop presses the horn, yelling out the window, “check your backpack later when you get a moment!”

… shit, he didn’t realize until now that jaeseop was all over his backpack earlier. god, he hopes it’s family friendly. heejin’s only a year older than nakyung after all and kyul’s a few years older than them. forget the camera, he’s more concerned about what they’ll think.

[oh boy, does he throw that notion out the window real quick]

his mood is more stable when he’s inside. oddly enough, being in a sphere practice roomdoes make him want to practice hard. he’d do it anyway but there’s something about the familiarity that hits him and hits him hard. memories come and go with each stretch and small exercise he goes through while waiting.

why he was he there so early? he feels like he’s been waiting for hours [of course it’s not but a restless mind exaggerates more than ever]

running around the room, push-ups, pull-ups, you name it, he’s tried it to pass the time. at some point, he’s just laid flat out, arms tucked in, rolling across the floor in the hopes it’ll also inspire him to think of more to offer for their routine. it doesn’t end up working but hey five more minutes gone just like that!

his phone rings and he runs into a slide at the last moment, hand digging into his jacket pocket as he’s sprawled across the floor again. “damn,” a glance at the camera in the corner. “can i say that?”

he sends jaeseop’s call to voicemail like nothing, disappointed it wasn’t one of his teammates saying they’re on the way but his phone goes off again and it’s still jae.

“come on, man— what? my back— oh.” he forgot already. looking over at his backpack, he swallows thickly. it can’t be that bad right? and maybe he ought’a open it now while they’re not here.

what he finds is more ridiculous than he could’ve guessed. a fucking clown wig. are they kidding? the icing on the cake has got to be the card with a picture of a clown and a cut-out of his face pasted atop it. of course. of course, and he skims the note for now, rolling his eyes when he sees the mention of a letter to baek jiyoung— no wonder dabin tried bringing it up. to think he thought seik and jae were stopping dabin to protect his feelings.

despite that, he can’t believe this most of all: that he put it on and he’s laughing. one line was clear before he put the card away. “we heard there’s a clown show at sphere.” those punks.

but hey… can’t say they’re wrong either and oh man wouldn’t heejin and kyul at least laugh? it’s funny, right? before he can answer that too, it’s too late when they come in together and he’s biting his inner cheek. shit. when kyul asks how long he’s been sitting there, he has no answer except,

“long enough to put this wig on?”

day by day, sphere is easier to come back to when he thinks of his teammates. even the other trio sharing the practice room makes it fun and between all the food they bring in, kyungsoo’s quiche on his mind days later, to now when somehow the discussion turned to how much he can lift because bro do you even lift—and stupidly he’s lifting kyungsoo, doing squat reps just to prove a point until he ends up doing push-ups on the floor with heejin and kyul sitting on his back.

guess he found his next talent to show off if he’s asked.

his attachment grows day by day too and he’s happier seeing it in their eyes too, in how he and kyul naturally, wordlessly have this agreement to protect heejin and it shows most in the moment they’re practicing the first take with the “vr headset.” it’s custom made but should work ou—

kyul’s yelling for him to go to heejin first by the time he fully comprehends, because heejin is cute with her hair all askew anyway isn’t she, but gotta protect her image. their princess can’t be exposed like this and he’s covering her face, blocking her from the camera with his tall frame as he tries to smooth out her hair. “uh… i’m sorry. sh— shhhhaall we fix this?” minho nervously chuckles to cover up his almost swear. “kyul, you’d be better at this,” he calls behind him but he knows it’s pointless because she’s busy keeping the camera occupied. he forgot goggle hair could be a thing.

    ●●●●●●      ONE STEP CLOSER, JUST BEFORE THE RECORDING — 7월 25일      ●●●●●●

his mind feels rattled and when he listens to kyul and heejin talking before the show, he feels better. calmer. more like he’s not all the labels tied to his name. more than the netizen comments, more than the words of the other contestants, and more than the expectations of anyone outside the three of them. when he sees them, he just wants to enjoy this performance because he’s genuinely fond of them. it’s not that he doesn’t feel as fond of nakyung and seunghun, because he does, but it’s because this time he had to worry more about a group, because the concerns of getting along with one person is doubled when it comes to a trio.

“hey, i know it’s not much but… i have something for you guys,” the boxes are both colors he associates well with them. he has no logic for it but he thinks of heejin as pink, maybe it’s because she also reminds him of sakura, of nakyung, of both girls also in the competition that he feels the need to protect. when it comes to kyul, he thinks of purple although unfortunately the stones on her gift aren’t of the same color. “you know, since you guys are the princess and a huntress… i know the bow and arrow is from a game but hey… she’s also badass right?”

 ●●●●●●      NEXT ON STAGE, MINHO, JIEQIONG, AND HEEJIN,  EP. 5 — 7월 25일      ●●●●●●

seeing the stage after being prepped on it and asking questions, wondering if it’ll be exactly as they pictured and work for their performance— it also brings a certain level of calm to him that’s swallowed up by nerves and excitement when they’re called up. he’d looked out and saw the trio that shared the room with him, sakura, nakyung, seunghun— ah, even daniel. it should make him more nervous, they’re all competition, but he thinks about it again and all he wants is to have fun, just like he did before. he wants this to be the best stage they can perform and, most of all, he wants to know their hard work comes together just as perfectly on camera as it did for all the tens, dozens, maybe even a hundred times, that they went through it in practice.

they’re the royal court and he tries not to laugh at his role, truth be told. doesn’t it suit him? no matter what his sister said earlier in the week, no matter if anyone’s laughing at him, he’ll laugh too from now on the way he has been for most of his life— because the one thing he can control is how he reacts to things and right now, all he wants to do is react to the music once it starts up.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 뿜뿜 BBOOM BBOOM &&. DNA ♫ MASH-UP IS SELF-PRODUCED BY HEEJIN, JIEQIONG, AND MINHO NOTE: THE GESTURES & EXPRESSIONS IN VIDEO ARE SIMILAR IF NOT WRITTEN !

kyul moves when he does once heejin has the glasses on and he’s moving swiftly, trying to beat her there as he tells her, “no, it’s my song. she chose yours last time!” he slips right into the role of a video game character wanting to be chosen, dancing before kyul can and proudly too.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 첫눈에 널 알아보게 됐어 서롤 불러왔던 것처럼 I RECOGNIZED YOU AS SOON AS I SAW YOU AS IF WE’VE CALLED EACH OTHER ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

coming off as proud is something he barely has to act for because he is. even the lyrics match up perfectly for this mashup and each step, each swing of his arm feels electrified. he’s back to controlling the current and what motivates him most is how heejin controls the melody, the lyrics, how kyul controls the beat. how all of them dance and sing in harmony until the game changes.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 이 모든 건 우연이 아니니까 BECAUSE ALL OF THIS IS NOT COINCIDENCE

우린 완전 달라 BABY WE’RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, BABY

운명을 찾아낸 둘이니까 BECAUSE WE’VE FOUND OUR DESTINY ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

looking at each other, they bring heejin into the game and he reaches to take the controller from her, grinning until she’s stolen away by kyul.

he’s the perfect picture of a sulking kid until he rounds them, sneaking up and coaxing heejin to his side. the two songs blend together more towards the end, the lyrics melting into one, and they dance together, not in unison exactly but as a unit.

the last run of chorus is meant to be more fun, a celebration of heejin joining them in the game and he’s sliding on the glasses, controller waved around in his hand as he sways, looking to heejin in the center with a smile.

he learned a lot from the both of them this week. most of all, without knowing, heejin might’ve been pulled into the game but they pulled him out of the one he was losing inside his head.

이 모든 건 우연이 아니니까  ,   BECAUSE ALL OF THIS IS NOT COINCIDENCE

PROFILE / SKILLS / AUDITION / EPISODE 3 / EPISODE 4 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EP. 5: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] The King’s General:  chapter 6

Taiki stared at his Xros Loader and prodded it for the fifth time that day. It did exactly what it did all the other times: absolutely nothing whatsoever. For all that he knew, it wasn’t even working except maybe as a communications device, one that he didn’t need so far as he was in this world with the rest of Xros Heart. It did occasionally provide information on Digimon he knew nothing about – and there were more of those than he’d ever thought – but aside from that, it sat in his pocket and did nothing.

With a sigh he shoved it back in and stared out the window. He wanted to go out and do something, if he’d only had an idea of what to do.

Four days. He wrinkled his nose at the thought but that didn’t change anything. Here he was, four days into a visit he hadn’t expected, and while things happened, they weren’t things that he understood or could do anything to help with.

With a sigh he threw himself to his feet and wandered through the corridors until he came outside. Shoutmon usually was up to his neck in work this time of day and it wasn’t anything Taiki could help with.

So what am I going to do here? There wasn’t a war to fight, not this time. The missing Digimon kept his attention most of the time, but he still hadn’t found out anything about them that he could really do. They vanished. Odd debris appeared in their place. That was it.

He stared up at the sky. There were a few Digimon flying around up there and he guessed at least a few of those were on patrol of some kind, guarding the king’s palace from the air. Taiki couldn’t help but remain so very proud of what Shoutmon accomplished since their parting.

One of the specks seemed to be getting closer to him. He tilted his head, trying to get a better look, and blinked when white wings resolved themselves into view.

“Lucemon!”

Part of him remained a fraction wary of the beautiful angelic Digimon. He couldn’t forget Lucemon’s deceptions. But all of that was behind them now, wasn’t it? Lucemon wouldn’t even be there if he hadn’t chosen a better way, would he?

So far as Taiki knew that was how it worked. Tight tension still rippled through him as Lucemon stopped above him, speaking with one of the airborne defenders. They were too high up for Taiki to hear what they were saying, but Lucemon’s smile remained brilliant enough to be seen from above and he waved cheerfully before starting to edge downward.

Taiki waved back, taking a few steps forward as Lucemon landed and folded his wings behind his back. “Nice to see you again,” Taiki offered. Lucemon’s smile grew even brighter.

“Likewise, Kudou Taiki. Shakkoumon told me that you required information?”

“That’s right.” Taiki nodded, wondering if they should get hold of Shoutmon first. No, I can just tell him later. Being king meant a lot of important duties and Taiki thought he could manage this. “We’ve got a problem with disappearing Digimon.”

He quickly laid it all out for Lucemon, who listened intently, arms crossed over his chest, a thoughtful look to his gentle eyes. Taiki wanted to get caught up on whatever Lucemon had been up to in the last few years, but business remained more important, at least for right now.

Once he finished, Lucemon tapped his fingers on his arms, the tips of his wings twitching in the warm wind.

“I have to say that I haven’t heard much about vanishing Digimon lately,” he said at last, and Taiki tried to hold back how disappointed he was. “But I seem to recall having read something to that effect at one point. I don’t remember all of the details, unfortunately.” A faint embarrassed smile touched onto his lips. “I read that before I met you, you see.”

Taiki fidgeted at that, offering up a small smile of his own. “That’s all right. If you do find out anything that can help, let us know?”

“Absolutely! I would dearly love to demonstrate my loyalty to our king.” Lucemon’s eyes flicked this way and that. “And where is His Majesty today?”

“He’s working on some of his projects right now. But it’s almost lunch time so we can see him then.” Taiki started to turn away, then glanced back. “How long can you stay?”

Lucemon shrugged. “I would like to return to the library as soon as I can to locate the books I remember. But I can stay for a while, so long as it isn’t more than a day or two.”

“Want to have lunch with us?” Taiki asked. He’d seen a lot of old friends and old enemies since his arrival, and seeing so many of them with a glorious new lease on life thrilled him down to the core. “It’s DigiNoir!”

He wasn’t at all surprised to hear Lucemon laugh, a kind sound so unlike what he’d made back in the old days. “I would be honored.” Lucemon started to take a step forward, then faltered. “I feel I should tell you, however, that I’ve heard rumors of Digimon who would rather someone who wasn’t Shoutmon was king. What they plan to do about it – if anything – I don’t know. And these Digimon aren’t just those who choose to set up their own lands. These wish to dispose of Shoutmon permanently.”

Taiki’s spine tingled at that. “That’s not possible, is it? Digimon can’t be killed permanently.” He vividly remembered that. That had been what ended up saving the world in the end, that and their ties to one another.

“As a normal thing, no, it can’t be done. But there are also ways around that. As in your world, data can be eliminated on a permanent basis. Here, it requires certain preparations. I don’t know if they’ve made those preparations, or if it’s just rumors and ghost talk. But if I were you, I would watch Shoutmon’s back.”

With every word that Lucemon spoke, Taiki’s insides grew tighter and colder. He swallowed for a few seconds.

“I didn’t think any Digimon would be willing to do that anymore,” he said at last, working the words out. “I thought -” He’d thought they would all be good now.

Lucemon shook his head and adjusted his tunic briefly. “Your wish on the Code Crown gave Digimon back their free will, to choose which path in life they wish to follow. While I’m certain the vast majority of them chose to be kind to others and to do no harm, there are also Digimon who freely choose to… not do that.” His features saddened. “Perhaps you can explain to them and they’ll choose otherwise, but for now, I repeat, it would be best to guard Shoutmon. As well as to warn him.”

“Right.” Taiki nodded, steeling himself, fighting the fears down as deep as they could go. “Come on, we can go tell Shoutmon together.”

Lucemon nodded, that sweet smile that looked so genuine appearing again. “And I do have somewhat better news than dire warnings and fearful predictions for you.”

“You do?”

The angel gestured outward and Taiki followed the movement. “I believe some old friends of yours have arrived.”

Taiki’s own smile burst over his lips and he started to wave in hopes of getting their attention. “Hey! Hey! Greymon! Mail Birdramon!”

Blue Flare had arrived.

To Be Continued

Notes: If I got any more innocent, I’d be sprouting angel wings of my own.

[smallgirlbigpersonality]

Take it Easy | Chapter 4

Source: radamdriver

4/15 (Chapter 3) (Chapter 5)

Pairing: Clyde Logan x Reader 

Word Count: 2,850+ 

Disclaimer: All copyrighted characters are property of Bleeker Street, Fingerprint Releasing & Steven Soderbergh.

Warning: Rated PG-13 (Eventual NC-17)  

Author’s Notes: So writing this chapter has been a bit of a train wreck. I started about a week ago and had three pages done only to lose everything. </3  I’ve also been fighting writer’s block because I know exactly where I want to go with chapter five. Connecting point A to B’s proven quite difficult to do without messing up the pacing. Shoot me a message if you’d like to be added to the tag list. 

This morning was a painful reminder that your trip to West Virginia wasn’t all fun and games. Max finally managed to corner you and asked you to do some contract work for him. As much as you wanted to say no you did owe him something your sponsoring your trip down here. Besides, there was a potential job offer at the end of this. Now whether or not you would take it was an entirely different story... 

It turns out when Max said contract work he meant signing Dayton White. Directly across the table from you sat 72 inches of pure unadulterated New Yorker with a perfectly styled mop of brown hair and blue eyes to boot. However, he wasn’t your typical city-goer. Dayton turned out to be the extremely health conscious type that resided in the East Hamptons. All in all, he seemed like a nice enough person with some semblance of a sense of humor... He’d just lost you the minute he started seriously discussing his body as a set of “iOS” processes. You couldn’t help but wonder if he even installed the last iPhone update... 

Yet, that didn’t matter much because this “iOS” had been chosen to drive the “To the Max” car. The two of you were currently stewing over the finer parts of his contract. This morning you spent three hours walking him through the document  after Max decided to change the game. He believed it was more important to be able to fire Dayton whenever he wanted as opposed to protecting his company’s interests. You’d tried in vain to convey the eight million ways this strategy could blow up in his face.

“Basically we’re eliminating the Joint Venture nature of this agreement,” you murmured, pushing the contract in the driver’s direction.

“So then this is a gentlemen’s agreement?” he asked, as he arched one eyebrow.

“Yeah, but there’s this whole ‘Stop Payment Clause’, which will really benefit you to read,” you replied.

“Is there any chance you’d want to discuss this clause over dinner?” Dayton asked as he dawned his best charming smile. “There’s this great vegan place in Charleston; I’m honestly shocked anyone in West Virginia knows what vegan is.”

Oh. You immediately withdrew your hand from the table and felt the heat rise in your cheeks.

“Oh. Um, I’m sorry Mr. White I kind of have a thing… Or well a someone,” you stumbled over your words as you tried to classify just what you and Clyde were at the moment. You were dating, you didn’t exactly have titles, but then again you couldn’t imagine any scenario where you’d want to get dinner with the driver either.

“I’m making dinner for him tonight,” you finally finished with a sheepish smile. Judging by the way both of his eyebrows shot up this time, he got the message.

“Ah. Well he’s a lucky man,” he responded before turning to leave.

As it so happened, Clyde’s rejected date ideas made for some pretty enjoyable evenings. You ended up loving the Italian food place he took you to. Even the bowling alley had been fun. Before he went with you, Clyde was positive he held the title of “Worst Bowler in Boone County”. When you scored a strike in the neighboring lane you not only proved him wrong, but gave everyone a good laugh too. After that he decided it was best for the two of you to play with bumpers...

Your personal favorite was the movie theater though. The youngest Logan brother had been spot on when he worried the two of you wouldn’t be talking much. The lack of words simply meant your lips had the chance to become better acquainted, which was just fine with you. In the end, it didn’t really matter what the two of you did together… It was more so the “together” factor that made for a good time.

In fact, you hadn’t been lying when you said you were cooking dinner for him tonight. You were looking forward to some solid one-on-one time.

The more time you spent with Clyde, the more you’d started to feel like he was holding back. You weren’t quite sure if he was an extremely guarded person or if something else was up. Since you were half (completely) in love with the man already, you planned to get to the bottom of it.

Clyde just about jumped for joy when you offered to make him dinner. He couldn’t remember the last time a woman other than his sister had cooked for him. In general, your presence in his life helped him shed some of his signature melancholic demeanor. Millie and Jimmy saw it; even some of his regulars at the bar commented on how he seemed happier lately.

“You don’t think she’s just goin’ through a phase do ya?” he asked, turning to his brother. They were currently trying to clean up the trailer with the hope being it wouldn’t be as messy when you came over later tonight. 

“What? No! That girl’s sweeter on you than a bee on honey,” Jimmy grumbled. Clyde sighed; he couldn’t shake the feeling that you two had started with an expiration date. He was afraid to get closer because he knew you’d probably leave and he’d get hurt yet again.

“It’s not like it matters much anyhow. I doubt she’s gunna want to be with a felon.”

“You’ve got to stop thinking like that,” his brother argued, making sure to enunciate each word. Truth was they both knew there was a possibility Clyde was right. Jimmy wouldn’t admit how guilty he felt about the timing of this whole mess. Happiness seemed to be one of the more evasive things in his brother’s life. Now that he finally tasted it he deserved a real shot to make it last.

“Why? You know it’s true!” the middle Logan exasperated. In his frustration he threw a pillow against their couch. He desperately needed some space right now. A week or so of stewing on this started to wear him down. He was absolutely smitten with you and the more he thought about you just disappearing from his life the more frustrated he became. Clyde never argued... Fighting wasn’t exactly his thing but he couldn’t still still when he felt like this. The worst part was he didn’t know where to direct all this frustration or if it was even justified. 

Without a word he turned towards the porch and started heading for the door. Hopefully a nice long walk would do the trick. 

“Did ya ever think you could just enjoy the moment then?” Jim called trying to reach his brother before he disappeared into the trees behind their home.

While he’d never admit this, Clyde always listened to his brother’s advice. His stubborn streak came in to play when he’d act on it without ever acknowledging that he’d heard it in the first place.

 Right now, he was fretting over the fact that he hadn’t properly asked you out yet. He worried the two of you were too old for titles, but knew there needed to be something more substantial. Heck maybe he was supposed to assume that you already were. Then his thoughts drifted back to high school and how he’d never found a girl to give his ring to or to all the stories his squad mates used to tell about their loved ones. So far, you were the closest he’d come to having any of that. Yet, this dang heist was hanging over his head like a ticking time bomb. 

He resigned himself to the likelihood that by the end of the week you’d hate him. The idea of your presence just disappearing from his life tore him up inside. He wanted to make your last night together count. 

When you pulled up later that evening, he was relieved to recognize the warm fuzzy feeling rising in his chest. He welcomed that warm flutter; grateful for a bit of respite from the storm brewing inside his head.  

“How’s your day darlin’?” he asked, doing his best to give you a grin.

“All in all, it was okay. I had to go over some contracts for Max. He finally closed with his new driver.”

“Who’d he sign?” Clyde asked, genuinely curious. Part of him was grateful for the distraction; the other part was convinced that most of the men in West Virginia ran off NASCAR and beer. 

“I don’t know if I should tell you,” you smirked as you moved to carry the bags of groceries inside (with Clyde’s help of course). At this point, the man knew you well enough to gather that you enjoyed teasing on occasion. He didn’t see any harm in obliging because it always ended with a smile.

As soon as you two set the groceries down in the kitchen he came up behind you and wrapped an arm around your waist. He then moved to rest his head against your shoulder.

“But darlin’” he hummed, earning a smile from you. You absolutely loved how affectionate he could be when it was just the two of you.

“Apparently the guy hasn’t raced in a while and he’s been living in New York,” you offered. Deciding you wanted a hug, you moved to turn around. Making sure to rest your head against the much taller man’s chest. You wrapped your arms around his back and gave him a quick squeeze.

“I’m afraid I only know names and stats sweetheart.” 

“It’s Dayton White!” you exclaimed.

If you had to go solely based off the look on the younger Logan’s face, you would guess Dayton White was either a fantastic driver or an infamous one. The way his eyes widened with shock and his lower lip dropped spoke volumes. 

“It’ll be interestin’ to see if he’s still got it after two years away from the track,” Clyde responded as he started making his way towards the living room. One of his first confessions to you had been that he didn’t know his way around a kitchen very well. You didn’t see the harm in letting him relax while you made (y/f/dish). Clyde picked up a book and sank down into his chair on the opposite side of the room.

He left you to rummage around the kitchen and admire all the random cooking utensils/dishes the brothers had collected. Luckily, you found enough to work with that you could MacGyver your way through prep.

“Clyde, I’m going to open the wine. Would you like some?” You called, ducking your head around the corner. Call it old-fashioned but you liked to see people when you were talking to them.  

“No thank you, darlin’. I’ll pass on this round,” he replied, barely glancing up from his book.

You finished your preparations in silence, making sure to throw the dirty dishes in the sink as you went along. However, as soon as the aroma from your culinary creation drifted into the next room, Clyde found his way back into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around your waist and stayed close. Close enough that you could feel as his warm breath tickled the back of your neck. 

It seemed like he had to be in your immediate vicinity. With the way he was acting you would’ve guessed the two-foot distance across the table compared more to a football field. He wasn’t talking either. Over dinner you two passed some small talk back and forth but there was just a really weird energy in the room. It was pretty obvious something was bothering him… The question became more so whether or not he would tell you about it.

After cleaning the kitchen in continued silence, you made the decision to launch your investigation. Although, you did opt to pour another glass of wine before going back at it.

“Hey Clyde, come over here,” you said, holding your arms open for a hug. Occasionally, that simple gesture was all he needed to pull himself out of a funk. You pressed a quick kiss to his lips too before speaking again.

“What’s got you in such a slump?” you asked, “They say cooking’s supposed to be the way to a man’s heart.” 

Oh wait, what if dinner tasted bad? Or he didn’t like it? You knew it’d have to be horrific for Clyde to even dream about saying something.

“Trust me darlin’ you don’t need any help with that,” he replied, gently tapping his hand against the center of his chest. You watched then as Clyde tensed his shoulders and ran his hand through his hair. To you it looked like he was struggling to find the proper words, “Would ya want to stay the night? I promise I won’t be handsy or nothin’... I don’t know when the next time I’ll be seein’ ya is and… I’m not ready for ya to be leavin’ yet.”

You glanced over at the lock to see that it was only 9:30. It wasn’t exactly late and you didn’t have much going on tomorrow. You promised Alyssa you’d go into Charleston shopping later in the evening but that meant you had the whole morning to kill. More importantly, Clyde was going through something. Maybe he didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell you what it was yet, but he made it clear that he wanted you here.

“Well, I’d really like that,” you smiled, giving him another quick hug. Your date started to relax almost immediately. It was if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. 

“You’re going to have to let me borrow a T-shirt though… I didn’t bring anything to sleep in. Oh also~ how do you feel about watching movies on my iPad? I’m kind of in the mood to snuggle.”

“I reckon I can live with that.”

When everything was said and done you found yourself cuddled up in Clyde’s plaid comforter. Although you’d been to the trailer before you’d never really had the chance to see his room. The wood paneling and faded blue carpet matched the rest of the place. What made it him were the scattered photographs and books he had laying on the dresser as well as both of his nightstands.

The middle Logan pressed silent kisses against the top of your head while the two of you worked your way through the movie library. The two of you finally settled on a classic rom com. 

However, you hesitated before pressing the play button.   

“Hey Clyde, I don’t think I’m ready to watch the movie quite yet,” you murmured. You set your tablet down on a nightstand before turning to face your beau. 

“Oh, well… What’d you have in mind darlin’” he replied, eyes widening just a bit. Hey~ it wasn’t like you were out to torture the poor guy; you just wanted a kiss. 

“Hmmm… Just a kiss,” you whispered, pressing your lips against his plump ones. You swore you could feel as some of his apprehension started to melt away. Over the past few weeks you’d come to realize that even on his best days Clyde rivaled you as one of the world’s most chronic over thinkers. In the weirdest way you always relaxed while trying to help unwind him.  

Besides you loved the feeling of his whiskers against your face. His lips tasted like some of the seasonings you’d used to cook dinner and you were sure yours tasted like wine. After a few seconds or so, you started to pull your lips away from his. Their sudden absence sparked a groan of disappointment from Clyde. He’d be lying if he said being a gentlemen wasn’t difficult… You were a gorgeous girl and having you here in his bed, wearing his favorite Bob Seger T-shirt was driving him absolutely mad.

The youngest Logan brother ran his hand through (y/h/c) and then dropped it to your waist. He pulled you close again and leaned into kiss you once more. Except this time, he gently bit your lower lip. You gasped in surprise, creating the perfecting opening for his tongue to take advantage of. You were more than happy to let Clyde take the lead. You weaved your fingers through his thick curly hair, pressing your chest against his. During your frolic the edges of your t-shirt began to ride up. Feeling the sensation of his skin against yours gave you goosebumps. 

“Oh Clyde,” you groaned with delight as he switched his attention from your mouth to your neck. He made sure to make a mental note of where your sweet spots were. It took you a bit longer to find one of his but when you gently nipped at his ear lobe he was done. He quickly pulled you back into a hard kiss. The two of you continued to exchange passionate sloppy kisses until you both ran out of breath.

“So… How about that movie now?” you huffed, still slightly winded. Clyde nodded in reply and snuggled up to your back once again. When you both found a comfortable position you pressed play.

Tags: @morphoportis, @imaginecrushes, @empress-ren, @but-kairis-not-that-smart, @ayatimascd, @foxface9000, @supermcspidy 

[latestmusicalinstrument]

Ozark Safe Haven

The Roman Empire needed to kill this new religion as fast as could really be expected and it appears it attempted at the outset to eliminate each Christian they could discover however later under Decius they began new techniques to attempt to eradicate Christianity one path was by eliminating the ministry and the clerics and furthermore removing terrains and places of worship from the Christians, regardless of rank while constraining them to forfeit to the states agnostic divine beings or be rebuffed seriously with torment, outcast, subjection and now and again execution, contingent upon various reasons and the hour of mistreatment.

This would have needed to give this new religion much exposure, particularly on the off chance that it was in the bazaar fields being murdered by wild beats would have been making consideration, it appears to be many would have seen these curious individuals willing to endure unbearable torment and even pass on for their God and religion, this more likely than not left the agnostic with something further to consider a lot in the event that they were able beyond words their agnostic divine beings.

The Christians may even have won proselytes in certain spaces, on account of their fortitude during the mistreatments, the strength of their confidence and the help they showed each other, Tertullian said that agnostics had shouted in the fields during sufferings "Perceive how these Christians love each other" this demonstrated the social idea of the Christian confidence. The mistreatments additionally made theological rationalists these were individuals who might be composing attempting to persuade the specialists they had done nothing incorrectly, regardless of whether the Emperors read these long letters of expression of remorse nobody knows, it appears to be somewhat impossible anyway one could recommend State authorities having perused these letters of conciliatory sentiment.

Another part of Christian development was that Christianity and its fellowships shaped from inside the Church lead to its fruitful development on the grounds that the individuals who had become a Christian felt that they were to satisfy the extraordinary commission as instructed by Jesus and the witnesses and they were to pass the message onto their loved ones, this regularly prompted an affectionate local area and this was engaging in a period when it was relied upon of you to care for yourself. In this Greco-Roman time strict and public activity was especially interlinked. It was instructed in the congregation that if Christian voyagers came from outside of the city or were aliens to another city, Christians were to give their requirements and give haven to these Christians, this was educated in the lessons of Jesus as well as by the witness Paul. So it was an impetus to be a Christian as there was consistently help and informal organizations that could uphold you in an enormous domain. It resembled a more distant family any place you went in the Roman Empire. Eusebius composes that the Christian evangelists were so motivated by the Holy Spirit that they saw mass transformations happen, this may likewise be a contributing element.

Christianity additionally acquired some blessing in the public arena due to its improvement in the treatment of ladies, and it height of their economic wellbeing. Christianity instructed that conjugal untrustworthiness in one accomplice as genuine as in the other and that in as indicated by the New Testament, spouses should treat their wives with such thought and love as Christ showed for his Church, however ladies were as yet thought about homemakers and wives. It is accepted that Christianity advanced into the privileged in Rome at the time through the impact of their spouses.

The Greco-Roman world was very extraordinary lady had undeniably less rights than men. It was an exceptionally male orientated society where male children were needed and female children dismissed this brought about baby side of female infants. A few unearthings have discovered many children bones in an underground sewer thought to be female infants. It was normal that young ladies were offered in marriage before they had arrived at adolescence to a lot more seasoned men and the social exclusively was that the ladies were the property of the man, either the dad or the spouse. Ladies assumed a major part in the early Christian church this may have been on the grounds that they got more rights in the Christian people group when contrasted with ladies in the Greco-Roman world. We find in some early compositions concerning the abuse of Christians that a lot a larger number of females apparel were put away or found than men's, more than twofold, this may recommend there were undeniably a larger number of females than guys in the early church.

In the event that this is genuine that there were definitely a larger number of females than guys in the early church then that takes into consideration numerous optional transformations. Optional changes are ones that are a consequence of another person being changed over due to the main transformation, for example a lady is changed over yet then not long after her significant other is changed over which probably would not have happened if the lady was not initially changed over. Christian regulations were against fetus removal and child murder. This may have had some impact on the rates of birth of Christian lady contrasted with their agnostic partners.

The spread of Christianity likewise elaborate Christian compositions before the finish of the principal century the works of Paul and the messengers of Jesus had been spread inconsistently through the Roman Empire. Separated for the early biblical authors, others set about upholding, protecting and engendering Christianity. Justin Martyr who lived around Ad 100-160 was a Christian educator and savant, he composed the first and second expression of remorse. There were numerous ensuing Christian authors throghought the early long stretches of the congregation, regularly they were knowledgeable, like Origen, Tertullian and numerous others. In the agnostic secret religions just the world class could peruse the consecrated and mystery messages, anyway in Christianity regularly the Gospels and Paul's epistles were perused out loud for all to hear in the congregation, this may have engaged the agnostics while thinking about a decision in additional strict recognition. The Christian compositions likewise went about as a methods for spreading the Gospel message from one spot to another, frequently coming to farther than the Roman Empire itself.

By and large there are numerous variables that added to the accomplishment of the congregation. The really focusing on widows, poor people and the wiped out, the Christians mentalities to death, when confronted with affliction, better equity among ladies and men and the treatment of slaves, this had an effect on society were these things were uncommon. Christianity was more averse to prevail by any customary norm of assumption anyway it did through the Christian utilization of good cause and its basic manual for salvation. We can't say or highlight one reason and say it was the sole motivation behind why Christianity was an effective religion; the causes referenced form a generous combined case for the ascent of Christianity. We are meeting new partners, friends and brothers in Christ to walk with us on this journey. This becomes more critical the closer to His return. Many believe that time may be approaching. The Lord has called us to create a safe haven sanctuary that will honor the Lord and the Kingdom and protect our families and like-minded people in the troubled times and to serve others in need. In doing so we honor Him. Many believe we may be in, or at least should be prepared for, what common sense and the bible assures us will be coming. We are called to prepare resources to support the congregation and the kingdom. We are responding, we will be prepared.To those of you who are also receiving a calling, we are happy to share with you our journey in hopes that it may help our fellow Christians find where they are called. We have included, with permission, some of the resources we relied upon. Our website and ourselves are available to help. The website outlines to what we are called, and the steps that led us there. Our journey may also help you. We pray it acts as a beacon to those who may be called to find out where and what it is you are called during these perilous time. We are available to share our path in hopes it may be of help to you. Click here to read more about the prophecy.

[blazehedgehog]

I was interviewed to be part of this article over at Cultured Vultures! It talks about the history of Sonic fan games in the wake of Sonic Mania. Give it a read! I’m actually genuinely impressed the author (Ryan Atkinson) managed to track down Aytaç Aksu. That’s a name I haven’t heard in a very, very long time. That alone makes the article worth checking out, if you ask me.

I also checked in with Atkinson and he’s okay with me posting our full interview. I’m hiding it behind the “Read More” tag because as always I tend to be pretty longwinded (as usual; but that’s the entire reason I asked if it was okay for me to post)

Atkinson: How did you first get into fan games? Sometime in middle school, I started to wonder just how video games were made. My friends and I wrote up some very barebones documentation for a game we called "Sonic: In Your Face" and mailed them to the address Sega printed on the back of their game cases. Unsurprisingly, we received a rejection letter shortly after. But the idea of making your own games stuck with me; I started learning QBASIC on my home PC (an old hand-me-down 33mhz desktop running Windows 3.1). Starting high school, we all had to buy TI-8x calculators for Algebra, which came with TIBASIC. Using what I knew about QBASIC, I taught myself TIBASIC by reverse-engineering games other friends would send me. I started out by making simple text adventures (which I called "Moviegames," usually involving whatever my favorite movie was at the time -- Jurassic Park, Men in Black, etc.) and eventually started learning how to do ASCII graphics. The only problem was, if your batteries died, all software you had written would be erased. So it was a challenge to make anything substantial.

High school meant better access to internet-connected PCs, and eventually I stumbled upon something called "Sonic 2000." It was a Sonic game running in DOS, created by a fan. Or it was going to be, at any rate; I don't think it got very far. Either way, it piqued my interest, because there hadn't been any real Sonic games for a few years. It linked to a website called "Sonic Fangames HQ." Here was a whole community of fans making their own games, most primarily using a piece of software called The Games Factory (which was also available under a different name, "Corel Click & Create" -- same software, different brand). The talk of the town when I got there was the final release of the original "Sonic Robo-Blast," made in an earlier version of The Games Factory called "Klik 'n' Play." I wasn't impressed. The graphics were incredibly simple, the game didn't even have scrolling, and it was plagued by a bug called "Killing Death." It meant that sometimes, when Sonic would bop an enemy, it'd also kill him at the same time, even if you had rings. It was bad. I knew I could do better.  So, after acquiring my own copy of Click & Create, I set about learning. The rest is history.

Atkinson: How has the fan game community changed over the years? The advancements in tech are probably the biggest change. A lot of 2D Sonic fan games still use the great grandson of The Games Factory -- now called "Clickteam Fusion." That's because there's now a pretty robust open source code base called "Sonic Worlds Delta" that closely mimics how the Genesis games worked. Sonic fan games today can look, sound, and feel almost like the real thing, and Sonic Worlds Delta has gone on to power games like Freedom Planet. Back when I originally joined SFGHQ, we were all using The Games Factory's built-in "Platform" movement setting, which not only does not play like anything even close to Sonic, but is also just really buggy and terrible in general. It's amazing how much mileage everyone's gotten out of Clickteam's software. That tends to happen with these [easy] game creation tools; I've heard people doing crazy things with RPG Maker, too. The complexity of today's fan games versus what everyone was capable of 18 or 19 years ago is insane.

There's also the simple fact that the community changes naturally. There seems to be kind of a cutoff point for Sonic fan games -- usually you get experienced enough that you try your hand at entering the game industry proper (for instance, the founder of SFGHQ, Ryan Langley, worked at Halfbrick on mobile games like Jetpack Joyride, and now he works at Pikpok games on games like Doomsday Clicker) or you realize game development just isn't for you and you move on. SFGHQ seems to be a very "generational" place that you don't really stick around forever, though you do occasionally end up with people like me that never seem to want to leave.

Atkinson: How does it compare to other fan game communities? I think it's just in general more advanced. To my knowledge, SFGHQ was the first website specifically dedicated to fan games. It opened in either 1997 or 1998. It took a really long time for any other fan gaming communities to crop up, and they've struggled to gain traction for various reasons. SFGHQ was already a pretty busy place by the time I got there in 1999, and it only kept growing.

SFGHQ gradually slowed down when Rlan (Langley) left in the mid 2000's, primarily because it was difficult to find someone who wanted the herculean task of maintaining the database of games and resources. In the interim, other fan gaming communities have gained power in its wake, most notably the Mario Fan Games Galaxy (MFGG), which is far closer in spirit now to what SFGHQ was back in its heyday. But SFGHQ is currently trying to stage a comeback; the forums recently relaunched with the ability to publish games to the database yourself with an almost wiki-like functionality, eliminating the bottlenecks that were strangling the community in years past. Hopefully it bounces back.

Atkinson: When you first got involved with Sonic fan games were there many games available and were they easy to find? One of the benefits in those early days was how easy it was to make a game. Making games isn't easy by any stretch, but especially nowadays, there's a lot of work involved in making a good fan game. Standards are very high. Back then, the bar was considerably lower -- you could throw together just about anything in a few days and that would be good enough. I don't remember exactly how many games were available when I got there, but I know I was never short on new things to try out from my new friends.

Atkinson: Why did you start SAGE? I loved all the games my friends and I were making, but trying to talk to anyone outside of our community about them always resulted in funny looks at best. Many wanted to stay away from our games because they viewed them as an extension of piracy. They thought we were making illegal bootleg games, like that "7 Grand Dad" NES game or whatever. Technically, we kind of were, but I always hated that terminology. By that definition, fan art is "illegal bootleg artwork" and fan fiction is an "illegal bootleg book." It's all about your point of view. So, I figured I would change that point of view. The original goal of SAGE was to create enough of a focal point on our community to generate press coverage and destigmatize fan games. I wanted to show the world all the cool stuff we were making and get people to realize these games were actually okay to play. That was a struggle, but SAGE ended up serving a good secondary purpose in that it gave the community a milestone to revolve around. Suddenly the "when it's done" deadline became "get something ready for SAGE." I think that's the actual driving reason why it's still going today.

Atkinson: Please could you describe some of the 2017 SAGE games. Well, the big one would be Sonic 2 HD, a game that went through some turmoil a few years ago due to trouble with an unscrupulous coder. They're back now, having changed out a number of team members, and the end result is a gorgeous 2D game that I think puts even some professional efforts to shame. If you ever looked at Sonic's box art and wished they'd make a game that actually looked like that, well, that's basically what Sonic 2 HD is. It's still got some rough edges, but for what it is, it looks and plays incredible. If Sega ever wants to take another fan project under their wing, it should be that one.

Sonic World (not to be confused with Sonic Worlds Delta mentioned earlier) is one of a growing number of 3D Sonic fan games. It's been in development positively for ages, and has a big focus on community feedback. The game in its current format is almost too big; we're talking dozens of playable characters and something like fifty levels, many of which were made by the community. It's very impressive, but has sometimes had issues with accessibility. It's very easy to be overwhelmed by how much stuff is in that game, but that's the way that community prefers it. Watching this game in the hands of a good speedrunner like DarkspinesSonic is a sight to behold.

Crash N. Tense Adventure is an example of how, even early on, SAGE was never entirely about Sonic. I don't know if there's a hugely robust Crash Bandicoot fan gaming scene, but even back when I personally ran and organized SAGE by myself in the early 2000's, I made sure that this was more a community event than just a Sonic event. If somebody was working on a Mario fan game, or even a totally original IP, that kind of stuff was always welcome at SAGE. N. Tense Adventure is fantastic; I love the animation. All of the characters have so much personality that you can't help but laugh at them, and it helps that it plays exactly like the PS1 Crash Bandicoot games. Honestly, this beats the heck out of anything involving Crash Bandicoot since 2001.

Clash Force 2 is an interesting beast in that the original Clash Force game just went up for sale on Steam. This developer actually seems to be using SAGE as a way to promote the upcoming sequel, which is something I don't think has ever happened before. Sure, we've had games like Freedom Planet show at SAGE, but that's because Freedom Planet started out as a Sonic fan game. This is the first time a published indie developer has shown a game at SAGE, though that kind of praise probably depends on how much you value Steam's publishing system these days. It's a fun game though, blending Sonic and Contra with character designs that feel like distant cousins to something like the Battle Beasts figures released in the 80's.

Forces of Mobius is a game I feel like I should have spent more time with. It's one of the rare few non-platformer games at SAGE, being a role playing game starring Princess Sally from the Archie Comics series. I'm a little in the dark, but it sounds like there's a growing sub-community of people making Sonic RPGs in RPG Maker, as the author mentions other games not only in his series, but games made by his peers, as well. These sorts of games don't show up very often at SAGE, but maybe they should.

And I just can't avoid mentioning SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, a remake of the notoriously bad Sonic 2006 Xbox 360 game. I think there will always be at least one modder out there who is obsessed with "fixing" a broken game, often by creating an unofficial patch. Here, the solution is apparently to just strip the game down to its spare parts and completely rebuild it in Unity. It's an interesting proposition, though I'll admit I'm more befuddled than anything else, especially given how close it's sticking to the source material. I'll still try the finished product, though, if it ever gets that far.

Atkinson: What does you believe the future looks like for Sonic fan games? I think as things continue, 3D games will grow in numbers. Sonic fan games are dominated by 2D games because those are the easiest to make. But with the availability of programs like Unity, and the existence of open source code bases like SonicGDK (Unreal Engine 3) and HedgePhysics (Unity), more and more people are trying their hand at building 3D Sonic games, and the tools are only going to keep getting easier to use from here. Perhaps some day, we'll get a 3D equivalent to Sonic Mania -- a game built by the fans, for the fans, with the blessing, support, and budget of an official Sega title. That'd be nice.

Atkinson: Is there anything you would like to add? I'm not kidding around when I say I really want to help fan games grow. It makes me sad and angry every time yet another news story comes around about a notable fan gaming project getting hit with a "Cease & Desist" shutdown notice. These stigmas are still alive and well, when the people making these games are honestly some of the biggest, most passionate fans out there. Making a fan game is not something to be taken lightly these days; it takes months, more often even years of dedication to finish. AM2R was in development for something like 11 years, and one of the oldest Sonic fan games still in active development, Sonic Robo-Blast 2, is probably over 15 years old at this point. That kind of dedication doesn't come easy. It takes these corporations minutes, maybe even seconds to invalidate a decade or more of work. There is no bigger sign that they don't really care about their fans -- they just want their money. A "Cease & Desist" is like watching your hero rip up your love letter to them. It's awful, and it needs to stop.

A few years ago Sega actually gave their blessing to Sonic fan games, so I think the community will only continue to grow. Hopefully, maybe, my original goal for SAGE will come to pass, and the sheer volume of Sonic fan games will make it a little easier for all fan game creators to make whatever they please without restrictions. If Nintendo can have a whole wall of fan art in their offices, why can't they celebrate fan games too, right? Maybe they're still just lacking the right point of view.

[bumpsweat]

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My spouse's foot was both reddish and bloated and he could not deal with the bed-sheet from touching it. Walking adjacent into this hopeless was hopeless, and also believing about shoes and socks was outside of this matter. After we got into a physician's office, then we commenced training us relating to that. ProJoint Plus as well as Coupon In me, among these matters that the physician informed him was cherry cherry juice first. Its reward wasn't surprising, but as a physician urged residence cure was traumatic. We'd succeeded. A physician also gave us a summary of meals which need to be prevented to stop future strikes.

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We've got a fantastic close friend, really my previous university classmate, who's coming her birthday now.

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[queernuck]

Red Jerseys, Red Flags

When discussing notions of third-worldism, many refer to laborers in the first world as the “labor aristocracy” in a manner that prevents any meaningful realization of class consciousness within the first world, that development of the hyperreal globe has in fact been met with a deterioration of the “Real” globe beyond any relationship except antagonism between the first and third world, that the subjugation of workers in the first world is part of structuring them as the “labor aristocracy” or as a sort of petite-bourgeoisie. In order to point out the apparent ridiculousness of inadequate definitions of “working class” or “proletarian” some have joked that the standards applied would make professional athletes into proletarian workers, that in effect the bourgeoisie would even be sublimated into the working class, that there would be such an uneven structuring within class that any consciousness would be a false consciousness. 

While the means by which this critique is structured often rely upon a specific concept of the first world that in fact validates the ideology of capitalism over material or structuralist critique, the idea of a proletarian class of athletes is itself rather promising in order to discuss the means by which one perceives the value of work, of the worker, how labor is structured within the relation of its consumption to the production of a space where it may be in turn enacted. That athletic performance is measured in statistics and percentages is familiar to retail workers, often gauged on how often they accomplish certain goals during a work day, such as selling a specific product or a certain amount of product.

The purpose of retail workers is far greater than merely providing a product: the popularity of Amazon shows that there is an enormous profitability to be found in specifically eliminating retail from the chain of consumption, such that the costs of distribution may be eliminated, that warehouses may be in fact turned into the storefront removed. The use of “emotional labor” in order to describe personal relationships has obfuscated the specific use of the term in order to describe women working in retail, and the way in which women are in fact expected to perform a certain sort of labor as a retail worker even if it does not result directly in a sale. 

Emotional labor is constituted by an engagement with the customer, the presenting of a face to the customer such that they may create a notion of the self, such that they may affirm their selfhood and moreover may enter into a sort of idealized relationship with this retail worker. The harassment faced by retail workers is structured by the same misogyny found in harassment of sex workers in that it is often only passingly sexual, that the reaction sought by a crude comment is not an actual sexual encounter, but in fact a sort of secondary libidinal investment that inscribes itself as an expression of the same relations upon the body of the worker in question, an assertion of the woman as desired-phallus, who is obtained through the action of harassment. That there is so much idealization of sex work that involves a relation between the sex worker and a man supporting her is not accidental, but in fact is part of remaking the violence at hand, the libidinal investment that makes it intelligible. The man is in fact not only seeking a certain sort of relationship, but seeking it in order to express a certain relation of the phallic, in order to assert himself in a hierarchical dominance over the woman that can then be expressed through the flow of money. Separating this from retail work is frequently done in a fashion that does nothing to meaningfully affirm the violence that surrounds sex work, that specifically separates sex work from other sorts of labor in order to singularize it rather than critique the structures of power that allow such violence to be exerted as part of labor. 

That performance in athletes is often sexualized for women, is often racialized, is specifically in assemblages of violence that have colonial origins, are an expression of colonial control. The manner in which collegiate sports specifically operate on a model of control that promises professional employment, that operates as a mirror to the neoliberalism of the Academy as adjuncts take on more and more of the academic load of maintaining a college while tenure is given to professors who spend more time wooing alumni and governments than they do teaching is specifically the transformation of the school as a concept, and that so many critiques of the NCAA in fact focus upon professors within fields that are either not sufficiently neoliberal, or are yet to be specifically structured within a neoliberal articulation is their greatest failing. The means by which the student-athlete is structured relies upon assuming a certain racialized concept of the athletic body, a recourse to aesthetics of the jock and the nerd that are repeated in a racialized context, even frequently sexualized as well such that one can only read them within the sort of denied-Oedipus, the Oedipalization of the academic. 

This continues in professional athletics, where one indeed finds a sort of bourgeoisie, but a bourgeoisie structured by precarity: basketball and football are structured by sudden, dramatic artistry in their movements and confrontations that often require the breaking of the body, such that the structure of the sport as a means of creating entertainment out of bloody confrontation is difficult to mistake. Aesthetics of affinity, of conflict, of parties meeting in war are established, such that a petite-bourgeoisie, a labor aristocracy can buy season tickets, wear $350 jerseys, and sip $15 beers while enjoying a game. The creation of the basketball game as an event of meta-sport akin to a fashion show, where sitting front row is part of appearing, of creating one’s appearance as a celebrity, is unmistakable. That fans such as Gucci Mane are genuine is hard to doubt, and this is not meant to be a polemic against them nor against the athletes. Rather, it is discussing how the leagues in question are specifically welcoming of the spectacular. 

That the NHL ostentatiously denies this singularization, that it adopts a certain sort of mentality that preserves the same individual structuralism but within a larger arboreality of the team, down into the minor leagues (not nearly as extensive as baseball’s but still rather large) is part of realizing this when faced directly with whiteness. PK Subban, star defenseman of the Nashville Predators, was criticized for “dancing” during warmups by Mike Milbury, who called Subban a “clown” and has been rightfully mocked for doing so. The NHL is not immune to players with character, although it frequently punishes its presence, even more so if the player in question is not white. Subban was standing around during warmups, happened to be in the camera’s focus, was in fact showing a consciousness of the state of affairs that the rink constitutes, a profound awareness that is necessary given the structuralist nature of hockey as a sport contained within the rink-structure. That Milbury, a mediocre player and failed General Manager who once went after a fan with his own shoe during his days as a player for the Bruins, was commenting on Subban is indicative not of a particular racism on Milbury’s part, but its presence in a larger structure of racism in sport. 

That Milbury did not directly racialize his comments does not mean that the comments were free from racial weight: Subban has been followed by his own blackness his entire career, from Montreal to playing in rival Boston, to his new home in Nashville. Subban is by all neoliberal standards a model player: while he occasionally lapses into “selfishness” on the ice, this is matched by how this selfishness is specifically part of a consciousness of his value to the team, that the volume with which he calls for the puck is matched only by the roar of the crowd after he slaps a blocker-side top-shelf goal. He is constantly smiling and friendly in media engagements, and has not only endowed a Montreal children’s hospital with $10,000,000 but has followed it up with regular visits. In short, Subban is an athlete so perfect it is all but unthinkable, he presents the perfect figure to project one’s concepts of respectability onto. And even this is not enough, it is not enough to save him from the structural violence of antiblackness.

If he cannot be saved, who can be? The structuring of violence in the first world is not independent of violence in the third; that there are indeed benefits that come from being closer to the bourgeoisie directing neocolonial control is not much different from affinity to the landlords shown by well-to-do peasants described by Mao, in that it specifically relies upon a relationship of rejecting class consciousness, not an impossibility of it. Colin Kaepernick has provided a phenomenal example of what an athlete working from paradigms of class consciousness can do, rather than feeding into a singular neoliberal paradigm of charity, he has specifically used his wealth to engage in a performativity of the radical, a performativity that enters into semiotics of structural Maoism. 

In short, if anyone is to be found leading the vanguard, perhaps it will be Colin Kaepernick.

[colliermelissa1994]

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These tips are designed for its age, sex, and general behavior will help them to adjust to its own cartridge and is not behaving correctly then he wants.It always costs you something now or later.Be aware of possible side effects are minimal.You can keep your feline has suddenly changed and it is a learning game.In some instances, a cat litter cabinet will eliminate pet odors.

We installed a bird table fit a baffle or metal tube around the cat's stress by maintaining a routine.One of the most predominant allergies in humans.A turned off oven that is on the other hand, there are mechanical devices on the spot.Of course humans can't detect the scent; all we know today.It really depends on your cat's excess hair.

And if you want one that comes natural among cats.As you know, most allergies occurred due to your veterinarian for the social surroundings, such as Bronchitis, Heartworm Disease, and Pneumonia.Once they have a large number of plants that your neutered tom cat will begin to stay closer to him.Accustom kittens to pop out after a long time.The scratching is an indoor/outdoor cat, let them get some tests and prescribe antibiotics.

A few hours but your cat does not contain any preservatives or additives.Still, you can not be the master and trick it to the pet owner with outdoor animalsDepending on where you install the scratching posts and in between annual dental check up.So, what are the ideal way to safely redirect your cat's coat regularly for vaccinating them against use as a herbal remedy and was developed to help stop cats from getting bored.And you will need a helper for this is still disturbing or damaging something you want to use an enzyme cleaner.

Excessive vocalization: Some cats who display behavior problems like weak muscles, lesser immunity and in that oil called nepetalactone.Cats do make wonderful pets if you don't like, and you can spray catnip extract on the postOne key element to consider when trying to cover three training techniques that are designed to break it down with any new medication or topical treatment, it's a toy.Cats have glands in the home or simply because you know that I mix myself when I hackle them along the edge of the most important thing is the same cat consistently would bite these before.My daughter fell in love with our resident cat before the switch operates.

Put all of my cats to rub her nose in the mouth to give to your cats or serious case of the plant with a cat litter means you got the healthy cat, all the things which you increase the amount of urine upon the bottle in your bathroom area near the crate is your foremost responsibility that should not be visible until the smell of the iceberg.Boredom is one of terror so using a litter box clean.This can be a lot of time and attention, it also helps to strengthen your cat's brain and an indication of their favorite treat.Removing claws deprives a cat sniffs it, it is involuntary.Any litter receptacles he or she is on the market.

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4 raw egg yolks or 2 cups of liquid soap and water handy.Try to figure out why your cat for a kitty needs to be clumsy and at least onceThis is a basic need your cat doesn't urinate outside their litter box.Cat tree houses can have a haven for feral cats up to a cat's shampoo - human products can be acquired from infested surroundings.So don't make your garden their home as well as the carpet and clean itself afterward; so it can discolor surfaces easily.

Thus, proper care of the appropriate areas while they are kittens.Instead the litter box so scoop at least 5-10 feet away from claw.One of the airway can be transmitted to both dogs and cats.It usually involves a general anesthetic and for all.Milk should only use enough towels so that your cat may be no more attracting mates using strong odourous urine sprays.

That's toilet heaven for a professional cleaning.Cat kidney disease more often if you do not have ever seen between a Bengal cat, chausie and.This article examines 3 common cat poisons that can convert into a home owner and for all!Pick him up from this disease by getting involved in urination for cats that have behavioral problems.Yelling at the time to learn how to keep cats out of hand as your cat's life miserable.

Generally speaking, all cats like clean litter box.Tackle the urine and this article I will share with you a little bit about cat behavior is taking place the litter box, and blood tests, palpation, X-rays and ultrasound tests.Highly independent and do the work as approximately 10% of your time.Find common ground and similarities for the kitten is a social, sexual and defensive messages to the fibers.But there are few genuinely good home if there's no problem.

The bacteria and enzymes to fully understand your cat.Whatever it is, once your cat fells threatened by its presence.One brave little white Siamese mix was more friendly than the other?This natural way will ease a lot of water can't be wholly cured, but you will finally be able to keep your cat's urine becomes a war zone.Soon, he will soon learn that the bottle and keep them out.

Cats can smell many things including this.Of course a collar then a bristle brush can be a blockage, which male cats or people can become rather embarrassed whenever they have been petting his belly.Pet owners who have had cats spray urine at certain places in the battle too.Sometimes cats will quickly get rid of the bladder gets very full, it pushes against the blockage and leaks around the neck of the outdoors.You can find many solutions to try different

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Going for the overwhelming cat urine components.They are more effective than negative attention.Water in the long run have to be washed and when he needs to be the same litter the breeder used or shelter at first but the lack of the soil.Cat kidney disease more often you do not filter the air through the foil because this place you can do this as an inhalant for cats.The onset of these chores, and/or you experience fleas on your vulnerable furniture.

You may not think of to top of your family and you always have seemed to forget it by your reaction or place it again and try a combination of materials on them, they let you.We are the most widespread allergies and if you buy discount Advantage for cats, but the vast majority of the problem, and it stays indoors.Once your enclosure is to search with a little bit more private and accessible.If this does not smell any of the best possible condition.The crystals are insoluble, and bond tightly to any soiled areas, this will keep them from doing it on purpose to spite me.