#<- and she said that. there’s nothing original about harry potter as a character he’s literally just arthur the once and future king.

[livvyofthelake]

baffles me completely when people accuse the mortal instruments of being harry potter fanfiction. you think jkr could have come up with the silent brothers and the city of bones? no those are the invention of a true Freak Weirdo. by the name of cassandra clare. that was all her baby!

[umathurwin]

Omg hi! I feel like I’m the only sofia hater out there bc all i see are people loving her character is so boring to me and her and rafe relationship seems so forced to me like she is supposed to help him reconcile with his sister but instead, she spent all season doing nothing apart from the hollis plot

being called a sofia hater cracks me up because i feel like i never talk about her, in fact i usually forget she exists 😭 but i’ll accept it, because i really do hate the way her character (which had a great premise) was totally wasted

a youtuber i really love once described pansy parkinson from harry potter as “an original character wearing the skin of a minor character” and i think that perfectly encapsulates sofia. they make these moodboards, these stories, these elaborate headcanons about a character we know little to nothing about. do i respect it? hell yes. it takes a lot of work. but to have these intense convictions and arguments about a 0.5-dimensional character… WHY?

i went and rewatched every scene in s4 where she even just appears and wrote down my thoughts on them (despite how tedious this was… the action really does rely on the pogues) and like… wow. where do i start

her s4 introduction is the scene where rafe scatters ward’s ashes on the boat, and it’s awkward but in a fair way. i wouldn’t really know what to do either. in the same episode, she’s at the enduro cheering for rafe, but she is inexplicably standing TOTALLY by herself. i still have no idea if this was just filmed oddly or if it was deliberate but this photo kills me… girl why are you alone? at no other point is she physically excluded from the kooks like this. wtf

and after that? nearly every single moment she and rafe share the screen? he’s awful to her. he verbally mocks her in the bar when she tries to calm him down. he flirts with hollis right in sofia’s face and abases her for feeling hurt. he dismisses her every time she tries to express her opinion. rafe does not respect his girlfriend, nor does he care about her thoughts and values. how do i know?

because she knows. how exactly did she convince him to take the deal, again? well, first she says she thinks it’s a good idea, which merely amuses him. then, she makes up a lie about other club members denigrating rafe and how this deal could improve his social status—i believe this to be a fabrication because it easily could’ve and should’ve been explicit on screen if true— and this causes him make up his mind. she knows rafe’s insecurities. she knows what does and doesn’t entice him. and yeah, i’ll be honest, sometimes it makes me sick to think about how deeply she knows this man, and how little he knows/cares about her

rafe brings up marriage, living together, a future with sofia. but do you notice anything about his big grand speeches? ever notice how, when he’s describing his fantasy, it revolves around material things he can own and show off— and sofia has always been one of them? rafe never has anything to say about what she specifically does for him, what he likes about her. bc… what does he like about her? rafe is unfortunately, at the end of the day, selfish. he focuses on what he’ll be able to give her, and what having a pretty wife says about him. the occupant of that role is, well, interchangeable

when rafe “proposed” to her and she did not confess the scam, i knew it was over. this is rafe cameron we’re talking about, a man who values loyalty more than anything in the world, and that was her last shot at coming clean before it was too late. committing a betrayal (well…in the eyes of the narrative…more on that in a sec) and hiding it from him? guys there was zero chance of him learning the truth and forgiving her. i watched the premier with my mother and i even turned to her and said we just watched the final nail go into the coffin. and it did!

(also, not to beat a dead horse, but even after he gives her the ring and he leaves to morocco, he dismissively excludes her again! “i have to go” “what are you doing?” “don’t worry about it, bye!” and she just takes it?! STAND UP!)

fundamentally, sofia’s “betrayal” plotline was weak or, at the very least, not very well thought-out. it’s like the idea of sofia going behind rafe’s back was pitched, but they were unsure how to integrate that into the season. the explosive reaction that rafe had when groff revealed the plot seemed contrived, like the show wanted to put more of the blame on sofia than was warranted. rafe had all but made up his mind by the time sofia had been paid off; to claim that she was the big catalyst in his decision is unfair and literally just wrong. sure, he liked her giving her blessing (because he already wanted to say yes), but i have a really, really genuine question for all of you.

if she had said no, would he have called off the deal?

(spoiler, no. because when she changed her mind after learning of the scam, he dismissed her yet again. the show has countless opportunities for rafe to just care about his girlfriend, and he never takes them!)

while i’m nitpicking, she also never learns any information via her own efforts. every single time she uncovers a new detail, it’s because she’s working around a loud-mouth kook who coincidentally says the right thing at the right moment as she refills their ewers. fuck, can we give her a CRUMB of agency? please?

and yeah, i don’t even engage in any theory that sofia helped rafe reunite with his family. did she ever give any meaningful advice to him? she didn’t even have context—was he ever planning on telling her exactly what he’d done to sarah and her friends? could sarah even pick this girl out of a lineup?! ya, she really is the glue in the cameron dynamic. lol

counter arguments i’m ready to address:

“he takes the deal for her!” funny because,,, he really doesn’t. we even watch the reason he takes the deal— his family. rafe likes the opportunity from the jump but is hesitant because of the investment, and a dreamy montage of him, ward, and sarah is what cements his decision. sofia canonically had nothing to do with it

“but he says he’s taking the deal for him and sofia when he’s alone with hollis!” correct! but you’ll notice he literally only brings her up when hollis starts hitting on him. he’s not attracted to hollis, and her advances make him visibly uncomfortable. bringing up sofia was a way to shut down hollis without explicitly telling a business partner to get off his ass

“rafe brings up sofia’s opinion of the deal with groff!” true, but i actually see this as a display of rafe’s tact and emotional intelligence. rafe is suspicious that he’s been scammed, but it’s genuinely not wise to barge into the office of the man who has $400k of your money and your testicles in his fist to start threatening him— even when he’s not a murderer. “hey… so my gf thinks you’re scamming me… thoughts?” he’s being coy. he’s being smart. he’s not bringing up sofia in a loverboy context. cmon

***

deep inhale. okay, i’m done. i’m sorry i always forget about her. but it’s so much better than the alternative

[maxdibert]

Hi! Could you tell me your top 5 least favorite Harry Potter characters and why?

My 5 most hated characters in Harry Potter are:

5 - Molly Weasley: I can’t stand this woman. I can’t stand how she acts like a morally superior, pure-blood yet holds endless prejudices, especially (and mostly) toward other, younger women. I don’t like her tradwife vibe, and I don’t like how overbearing and suffocating she is. Seriously, in real life, I’d feel the urge to tell her off—she’s that typical annoying woman who doesn’t know where the boundaries are.

4 - Remus Lupin: Zero sympathy for a man almost forty who got a 24-year-old girl pregnant and then abandoned her. Remus Lupin is a coward and a piece of trash, a bullying accomplice who keeps his head down regarding his own actions and needs a 17-year-old to teach him a lesson in manhood. I really wish Tonks had left him and taken off with Teddy to get as far away as possible from that pathetic excuse for a person.

3 - Dumbledore: Starting with the fact that the entire problem of the story basically stems from his irresponsibility with Tom Riddle, which already showed that he was a terrible teacher. He only shows concern for students who can serve his purposes or suck up to him, and his involvement throughout the story shows a moral stance I find nauseating. I mean, he’s a guy who has the nerve to lecture his former students who “chose the wrong path,” but when those same students were under his care, he constantly neglected and rejected them just because they didn’t belong to a certain house. He had the audacity to call Severus Snape “miserable” when it was Dumbledore himself who allowed Snape to be bullied and almost killed without lifting a finger to stop it or punish the bullies. This same Dumbledore scolds Draco Malfoy for not trusting him when from Draco’s first day at Hogwarts, all he saw from the old man was favoritism toward a certain house and certain students, completely ignoring the rest. Honestly, I’d have banned him from teaching. There’s a lot said about Snape as a teacher, but Dumbledore was responsible for everything, allowed terrible things to happen, and turned his back on many vulnerable children and teenagers. Then he acted all surprised when they ended up in bad places. Screw him, hypocritical old man.

2 - Ginny Weasley: The “I’m not like other girls,” the “shut up, Hermione, you don’t know anything about Quidditch,” the “everyone look at me, I hex people, I’m one of the boys, I’m not vain but I’m hot, but I’m not prissy,” the “I make fun of girls who are pretty, flirty, and feminine because I’m a textbook pick-me girl” who is shoved into the end of the series. She’s a character who didn’t matter at all throughout the story; she’s barely mentioned in some books, but suddenly she’s Harry’s love interest because J.K. Rowling needed all her characters to end up married with 468749284 kids, and Harry needed to be part of the Weasley family. So, they had to do something. Ginny is a terrible character, going from irrelevant to some sort of Mary Sue who even the Slytherins drool over and who, of course, is not a “typical girl” because being a “typical girl” in Rowling’s world is somehow the original sin. So, she’s great at sports, hexes people, pulls pranks because she’s so cool, uh uh uh, she’s not like the others, uh uh uh, but she has internalized misogyny that you can smell from here to China. Honestly, someone should have slapped her for being so damn stupid.

1 - James Potter: There’s nothing I haven’t already said about James Potter. He’s a character who really grinds my gears because they try to sell him as some kind of hero, but he was just a spoiled rich kid who decided to torment a poor, vulnerable boy simply because that boy was friends with his crush. He used his social power and status to get away with all the crap he pulled, attacked in groups, lied to his girlfriend saying he’d stopped bullying people when he really hadn’t, and when he was supposed to be locked up in a house with his wife and son, he was off fooling around with his best friend. James Potter was an ass, and defending him is defending classism, elitism, and whitewashing social classes. I’m not going to explain why.

[atla-what-is-this-site]

Fixing Voltron's magic system FT. Sanderson's Laws of Magic (and examples from various famous media)

Firstly, let's begin with what the Alteans canonically can do. As seen throughout the series, two alteans shown actually manipulate quintessence. Another has super strength but no magic. A final is shown to have none. (poor Coran). It is implied the majority (if not all,) have these abilities. 

Quintessence manipulation seems to have one small limit:  When Allura uses the magic too much, she passes out. But remember: shes powering a giant ship. We never see Team Voltron going and getting gas or whatever, which means Allura is probably the sole supplier of power for the Castle. Which is an example of how OP this ability is, even with the limit.

Then we have super strength and shapeshifting, two other abilities that all (or i guess most, since Coran never shows any signs of having them) Alteans seem to have. These abilities seem to have little plot importance besides a few certain episodes. There is nothing inherently wrong with these abilities. However, when you pile them on top of (if I'm being completely honest,) a character who's already quite over-powered, I think you can understand why I'm not the biggest fan. 

We know quite a bit about Alteans. They're one of the most important species in the series. According to Allura, they're super-ambassadors, and they use their shapeshifting to better blend in. Their culture seems very intellectual-based, with Alchemists holding high places. They mixed magic and tech to make incredible ships like The Castle. 

This is where things tend to taper off. We get brief glimpses of what could be rules: Allura always places her hands on whatever shes infusing. Clearly, you must be Altean or of Altean Heritage. 

Now, let's take a look at Brandon Sanderson's laws of magic. 

Number One: "An author’s ability to solve conflict with magic is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to how well the reader understands said magic." 

This means that if we want to solve problems with magic, we need to explain how that magic can solve our problems. So, for example, Harry Potter. Every spell that Harry uses is explained beforehand so that the audience knows what he's doing. It just wouldn't work if Harry went around Lumos-ing away, making the reader guess what the spell does. 

However, in The Lord of The Rings, Gandalf doesn't need to tell us anything, because he barely ever uses his magic for plot important things. Readers don't want to read three paragraphs explaining how he made his fireworks, when the story isn't about his fireworks.

Number Two: Limitations are more important than power.

What your magic system can do doesn't make it interesting. There's no power that hasn't been thought of. Infinite power makes it impossible to come up with a plot. The character could solve anything, meaning there's no point in telling about the solution to their problem. However, when you throw in weaknesses, costs and other limitations, you get a much more original and interesting idea. 

Picture that one scene from Aladdin, where Genie tells Aladdin about the three rules. (No playing with free will, no raising the dead, no wishing for more wishes.) It's a simple and easy to follow system, with limitations that make the plot more interesting. Aladdin can't make Jasmine fall in love with him magically, so he's forced to come up with other ways. 

Rule Three: Expand what you already have before you add something new. 

This one leans more on general worldbuilding, but what he's saying here is don't shove new ideas in your reader's face. Don't create new magics out of nowhere. Build on what you already have. 

There aren't many examples of this, luckily Voltron isn't really guilty of this, so elaboration isn't really needed.

Now, we'll take these and begin perfecting the magic system. 

First, what is Quintessence? Quintessence is, essentially, the animating factor. It's what makes living things alive. It's a form of energy. 

This isn't to say nonliving objects can't have it, but most don't, unless it's given to them. 

Quintessence is energy. It can't be created, nor destroyed. However, you can transfer it from one container to another. 

There are a few things you can do with it. Firstly, giving a living being quintessence can make them stronger. This is what Haggar does with Zarkon throughout the first two seasons.

Next, taking too much quintessence from someone will "de-animate" them. A.k.a. They die from lack of life. 

There is one third thing you can do with quintessence. It takes a lot of training and a bit of energy. But I imagine you could also make these huge shockwaves that just fucken decimate everything in a 300 foot radius. However this is more after-we-get-ridiculously-good type material.

Our limits are these: 1. You must draw energy from something, whether that be your own energy or someone else's. If you use too much of your own, you could pass out and die. 2. You must maintain contact with whatever you're imbuing with energy/drawing energy from. (The only exception is the shockwave. But the shockwave comes from your hands so..?) 3. Too much quintessence can become an addiction. Specific examples can be Zarkon and Haggar. 

A little interjection: While Alteans have a lot of quintessence, it can only power a small ship for a few hours. However, Altean ships have evolved to collect quintessence from bacteria that gathers on the ship's metal. This keeps the ships sanitary and also helps with efficiency. As well, ships often use Balmera crystals as a secondary source of power. Balmera crystals hold high levels of residual quintessence.

We can construct so many different plotlines that can't be solved with quintessence, or the limits can prevent solution. What if the person who needs healing is out of Allura's reach? What if she doesn't have enough energy?

That wasn't so hard, was it, VLD team?

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

I Cry 2

Fandom: Harry Potter [Marauders Era]

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Sirius Black [Wolfstar]

Characters: Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans, Original Male Character Mary MacDonald

Word Count: 3434

Rating: Teen

Summary: It's alright mate I cry too.

Tags/ Warnings: Hogwarts, Summer Challenge, Writing Challenge, Song Fic, Realising Feelings, Declarations of Love, Sexuality Struggles, Shame, Sirius is in denial, Attitudes of the Time

Notes: This is my summer writing challenge 2024. Seven fics over seven days - all will be hp based and song fics.

Summer Challenge 2024 // Song Inspo

‘Who shags someone in someone else’s bed?’

Remus didn’t bother turning around. He didn’t need to because he could picture the expression on Sirius’ face without looking, the way he’d barged into his room and slammed the door behind him without bothering to knock, signalling the mood he was in. Instead he kept pulling his pyjamas from his rickety old chest of drawers as he replied, ‘let me guess, James and Lily?’

When he turned Sirius was sitting on his bed, arms splayed behind him as he propped himself up, his pink lips drawn in the pout Remus had expected though it unclenched as he said, ‘I was just about to get into bed but no! He’s getting his leg over in a room that’s not even his!’

‘Weren’t you saying last week you wanted a godchild?’ Remus countered, hiding his eye rolling at the dramatic tone his friend used by busying himself with changing his t-shirt, ‘I thought you were all for this wedded bliss lark.’

‘I am when it’s at their own house,’ Sirius grumbled, ‘not shagging in someone else’s bed.’

‘Didn’t you and Mary once-’ Remus started to counter but he was cut off.

‘Yeah well that was ages ago. School kid stuff and besides you know Mary, all you have to do is look at her and she’s got her knickers around her ankles,’ Sirius said scathingly. It was a cheap shot, namely because she wasn’t around to let him get away with saying such a thing, but it wasn’t exactly warranted. Not when one could argue the man in question had a reputation just as questionable. Maybe that was why they’d been such a match, a volatile one sure, but a match nevertheless. Well up until recently, their on and off again dynamic seeming permanently off.

That was probably why he didn’t bother saying anything. Standing up for Mary would no doubt cause an argument between him and the long-haired boy and seeing as he was mid-cycle and had just been forced to endure a birthday party he hadn’t requested he was too tired to get into it. Instead, he shrugged off his jeans and pulled his pyjama pants on quickly allowing Sirius to ponder in silence.

Except he took his silence for what it was, deliberate avoidance, and feeling ignored he said, ‘I just wanted to go to bed. Not even like I can kip on the couch because Pete’s sprawled out on it.’

‘You can sleep in here if you want. Double bed and that,’ Remus said, hoping it would stem the flow of self-pity. His bed was calling him, the bags under his eyes feeling heavier the longer he was forced to interact, even with Sirius.

‘Aw Moony my hero,’ Sirius said, rising from his lolling position and looking up at his friend with a beaming smile.

‘Yeah, yeah, I know I’m an angel,’ Remus said rolling his eyes, ‘it’s nothing to do with how cranky you are hungover, even without a night on the floor. Now get changed, will you?’

As Remus climbed into bed, yanking the duvet out from under Sirius, he leapt up moving quickly to get changed. He didn’t bother with clothes; his own pyjamas would be in his room which was occupied and trying to find something of Remus’ would require too much brain power and so he merely stripped out of his shirt and pants and climbed into bed beside his friend.

‘Hmm,’ Sirius said as he leant against the headboard, turned towards his friend who was sitting up, the book that had been on his bedside table now in hand, the pages illuminated by the lamp beside him, which was now the only light on, a flick of his wand sorting an ambient backdrop as Sirius had clambered into bed.

‘What?’ Remus asked, trying to hold in a sigh.

‘Thought you were tired,’ Sirius said simply.

‘I am,’ Remus said. In truth he was. He had been tired all week but it was less to do with genuine weariness and rather social exhaustion. A night in with his friends didn’t elicit the same level of fatigue that chit-chatting with mild acquaintances did. In fact if it was anyone other than Sirius in his bed he probably would’ve doused the lights and laid there in silence.

‘So why are you reading then?’ Sirius challenged.

‘To wind down,’ Remus said, trying to focus his eyes on the page instead of on the way Sirius’ grey gaze was burning into his face.

‘Oh yeah,’ Sirius said, ‘I’ve heard Bowie does the same thing. Forget coke and hookers, get me a book and a cup of tea for the tour bus.’

‘Very funny,’ Remus grumbled, ‘you’re a pillock you know that?’

‘Might have been said,’ Sirius said, resting back against the headboard with a smile on his face.

‘Well if you’d rather coke and hookers feel free to go and find them but in my room it’s books and brews,’ Remus said finally, sinking down and pulling the duvet up towards him so that his book was nestled in view without him having to hold it.

He could feel Sirius was longing to make some quippy response but the way he’d angled himself had made it seem as though their conversation was over and so he sunk down too. Remus tried to focus on his book. He just had a few more pages until the end of the chapter and then he could settle down and go to sleep. But he could feel Sirius awake beside him, practically hear his mind whirring away as he thought about something. He thought it might be some more teasing or perhaps something about Mary or even reignited irritation about James and Lily but it wasn’t that at all.

‘Suppose it’s easy for you to judge,’ Sirius sighed after an interlude of silence. Remus could have probably gotten away with pretending as though he hadn't heard him, the slumber he was working towards close by but instead he took the bait and pushed sleep away as he answered, ‘what?’

‘The shagging thing,’ Sirius said simply, ‘I mean out of the four of us you have the moral high ground I suppose. What with you being…’

‘Being what?’ Remus said, fully aware he was biting the bait Sirius was laying down though he couldn’t stop himself. By now he’d pushed up, forcing Sirius further onto the other side of the bed as he looked down at him with irritation.

‘Well sexless,’ Sirius shrugged.

‘I am not sexless!’ Remus protested.

‘Oh don’t get your knickers in a twist,’ Sirius said dismissively, rolling his eyes as Remus threw his book onto the duvet irately, ‘you know what I mean…you’re just very secretive when it comes to sex. I mean I’ve never met anyone you’ve shagged.’

‘Well excuse me for not going into graphic detail about every encounter I’ve ever had but I doubt me talking about how big some lad's cock is would go down very well would it?’ Remus snapped, ‘in fact I think Pete’s head would explode.’

With that it went quiet. Sirius seemed stunned into silence and Remus immediately started to feel embarrassment flooding through him so much so he was happy he was wearing a t-shirt as he was sure the splotchy red his chest would be turning would only mortify him further. He didn’t look at his friend, instead he turned his attention to his book though the words didn’t make any sense.

Sirius shifted, turning towards him as he cleared his throat and though Remus didn’t look at him as he wanted him to he spoke anyway, a mumbled, ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

‘You didn’t upset me,’ Remus protested, ‘it’s just…it’s just not the same for me that’s all.’

‘Why not?’ Sirius asked.

‘Because it’s not,’ Remus replied but when Sirius didn’t speak he chanced a glance and found the boy watching him curiously. In fact it was quite reminiscent of the way Padfoot looked at him, the only thing missing a tilted head to make him truly the picture of a big shaggy dog. Remus sighed.

‘It’s just different okay?’ Remus said, feeling simultaneously uncomfortable and yet obligated to explain, ‘everyone’s fine with it until you start actually talking about it. Talking about it means they have to think about it and that makes them uncomfortable which makes me uncomfortable. And it’s hard to explain to the person I’m trying to get off with that being with them in front of people makes me uncomfortable without sounding like they're the problem.’

‘Yeah but you don’t feel like that around us right?’ Sirius asked. When Remus dropped his gaze Sirius fell quiet for a moment until he said, ‘you don't have to feel uncomfortable around us. We don’t care…not even Pete.’

‘Yeah well doesn’t really matter,’ Remus said dismissively, ‘it’s not like I’ve got anyone worth being uncomfortable for recently.’

Once more they fell silent, the pair of them staring anywhere but the other as the words marinated in the air. Again it was Sirius to break the silence whether because he had far more alcohol swirling around his blood stream or because it was his nature not to let something drop Remus didn’t know.

‘Moony,’ he said after a moment.

‘Yeah?’ Remus asked, wishing he’d just gotten into bed and gone to sleep.

‘Can I ask you something?’ he asked, his tone genuinely curious. Remus knew he could say no, that if he was truly firm with him he would respect his boundaries and let whatever curiosity go. But he didn’t have the heart to and agreed, ‘yeah.’

‘How did you know?’ Sirius asked quietly. At that Remus finally looked at him, he was watching the other boy, his face sympathetic and kind as he noted Remus’ surprise, ‘that I was gay?’

‘Yeah,’ Sirius said, ‘if you never…’

‘I have,’ Remus said, already feeling his defensiveness mounting.

‘But you’ve never had a boyfriend right?’ he said tactfully trying to assure him he wasn’t being accusatory but rather logical.

‘S’pose not,’ Remus said, able to see how one might meet that conclusion. After all, how was he to know, other than one drunken declaration that he was gay at a quidditch after party, Remus rarely talked about his sexuality. He never spoke about his crushes or partners the way his friends did. He didn’t know why, his friends accepted him for who he was, but to do so felt like he was giving them a chance to find fault. Logically he knew that would never happen, they’d accepted him being a bloody werewolf for merlin’s sake, but he was already of the minority. He didn’t feel like highlighting that fact further.

‘Then again have you met men? I’d rather take my chances being single,’ Remus joked, trying his best to lighten the mood but Sirius seemed deep in thought. He didn’t even offer him that signature Sirius black smirk merely asking instead, ‘so how did you know?’

‘I didn’t just decide one day if that’s what you mean,’ Remus said though his tone must've come out sharper than intended as Sirius’ eyes flashed with panic and he sat up and shifted awkwardly.

‘Never mind it’s none of my business,’ he muttered, moving away from him.

For a moment Remus thought he was going to say goodnight, roll over and feign sleep even though the light was still on and he never slept in anything but utter darkness. But Remus suddenly felt the urge not to let him. In fact he was starting to feel that this was less about Remus than either of them had thought.

‘I didn’t know,’ Remus said, staring at the wall opposite them so that when his head inevitably snapped up he wouldn’t feel him staring back at him, ‘I know some people know but I didn’t…well not unless you count getting a rod on over Ziggy Stardust but other than that,’ he joked and when he risked a glance at the other boy he was met with a small smile which spurred his story telling on, ‘I just well…the way you all seemed mad about girls I just didn’t get it. I mean they’re nice and I’m friends with plenty but I just didn’t have any interest in them. Then one day Elliot Vane kissed me and it click-’

‘Elliot Vane!?’ Sirius gasped.

‘Yeah,’ Remus said, ‘at a party in fifth year.’

‘Wow,’ Sirius breathed, ‘I didn’t know he was.’

‘I don’t think he is. I mean he might be but to be honest I think he was just really hammered,’ Remus said, resting back against the headboard as he reminisced about the raven haired sculpted Romeo he’d shared his first kiss with. They’d never really spoken about it after, just an acknowledging nod the next day that signalled to Remus it was a done thing but it had been nice all the same.

‘Still it made me realise maybe there was a reason I didn’t feel like that for girls,’ Remus said, ‘then there was this lad at home in the summer and we sorta became a thing and well it all made sense then I guess.’

Sirius looked as though he was deep in thought and Remus sat and watched him. It was like watching himself in a way, all those years ago when he’d thought himself sick about the ideas he’d been having. After all, didn't everyone find Ziggy Stardust attractive? Didn’t the boys speak of the girls with at least some hint of annoyance, the way he felt?  

‘It doesn’t have to mean anything you know,’ he whispered after a minute, guilty grey eyes meeting his a second later, ‘if Elliot had kissed me and I didn’t feel anything then it would’ve just been a kiss.’

‘I know that,’ Sirius said quietly, ‘but what if one kiss changes everything…I know it didn’t change you but it made you realise who you were right?’

‘Yeah I guess,’ Remus said, ‘and I’m not going to pretend like I didn’t have a nightmare trying to figure it out on my own. My heart felt right but my head not so much. And I'm sure I'm not the first person to cry over their sexuality.’

‘What if you tried it but it wasn’t what you expected. What if you didn’t like it at all?’ Sirius asked. His voice was small and quiet but the pair had sunken lower on the pillows so that there wasn’t much of a gap between them anymore and Remus could hear him clear as day.

‘Try something else?’ Remus suggested with a half-hearted smile, ‘like I said it’s not a big deal. I mean what was it that bloke said, the one we learned about in muggle studies, the physicist-’

‘Einstein?’ Sirius asked, his brow furrowed, unable to see what his friend was on about.

‘Yeah him, didn’t he say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?’ Remus asked, continuing as Sirius’ brow furrowed further, ‘so wouldn’t that be like me sleeping with every girl I come into contact with and hoping it would make me fancy them?’

‘But it’s the same thing isn’t it?’ Sirius asked, ‘pursuing someone in the hopes they’ll turn you into something you're not is the same as pursuing someone you might have no interest in just because you’re a bit confused.’

‘Look it’s a complicated thing I won’t deny it,’ Remus said, ‘but doing something because you don’t want to be yourself and doing something because you’re not sure who you are are two different things. And chances are no one’s going to be angry at you for trying to figure it out.’

‘That’s the thing. I don’t know what I want,’ Sirius said sadly.

‘That’s not a crime,’ Remus replied sympathetically. 

‘Feels like it is,’ Sirius said grimly, ‘because what if I don’t like it? If I’m not-’

‘Pads that’s okay,’ Remus said, placing his hand over the top of his friends in the hopes of comforting him. It wasn’t what he wanted to do, by nature he wasn’t very touchy feely but under the confines of the duvet it was the only pieces of flesh available to him. Sirius looked at it and Remus looked at him, the way his Adam's apple bobbed under pale skin as he swallowed thickly, whatever he wanted to say next, seemingly hard to move from his throat.

‘But what if I don’t want to kiss boys,’ he said quietly, ‘what if…what if I just want to kiss you?’

‘Me?’ Remus said, the disbelief in his voice immediately attracting startled grey eyes upwards.

‘Yeah,’ Sirius whispered, trying to stay firm in his utterances even though his heart had been hammering ten to the dozen since the moment Remus had placed his hand over his.

‘Why me?’ Remus asked.

‘Why not you?’ Sirius asked.

‘Well I’m just-’ he was going to protest. List all of his faults, the things that anyone would see as a reason for them not being together. Put aside the fact Sirius wasn’t entirely sure he swung Remus’ way, the fact that they were friends, best friends, might have implications. Not to mention Remus was far too gangly, moody, scar ridden, irritable, and whatever other fault he could muster to mind. Sirius was none of those things. He was suave and confident. He commanded a room even when he didn’t want to. He made Remus feel warm just by looking at him. Not to mention he was incredibly handsome, debonair and oh my god did Remus have a crush on his best friend?

A crush that started to grow rapidly as Sirius shook his head and said, ‘don’t. Don’t do that, you always put yourself down like that.’

‘I don’t,’ Remus protested.

‘You bloody do,’ Sirius replied.

‘Well I just am-’

‘No you’re not,’ Sirius said firmly, locking his fingers around Remus’ as he looked him firmly in the eye, ‘you’re Moony and I don’t know I guess I always thought you were my best mate but I don’t know…because you’re different to me than James is...maybe it’s since we moved in here and it’s just the two of us…but it feels different… like we’re more than mates…’

He was watching him now, his thumb tracing circles over the back of Remus’ pale hand, his voice shaky as he added, ‘for me at least.’

‘I know what you mean,’ Remus said because he did. He guessed he had never thought about Sirius that way because he was well Sirius. His best friend, the one that understood him no matter what. Of course they had their issues, they bickered like an old married couple so much so there had been concern that moving in together would last all of five minutes but it was never serious. They worked well together, they understood one another. The more Remus thought about it the more he felt as though it was glaringly obvious how much he cared for the boy. And Sirius was right, it wasn’t a care he extended to James or Peter. He wondered if he had been born a girl that this would've been easier to navigate. But it wasn’t.

And Sirius clearly thought as much as he said, ‘but what if it’s not? What if I’m not…y'know and it’s just some random thought? What if I do just like girls-’

‘Sirius,’ Remus said, unable to stop his heart from squeezing at the thought of it.

‘What if I ruin everything for no reason?’ Sirius whispered, ‘I can't do that to you. You're Moony.’

‘Padfoot,’ Remus said firmly. Sirius fell quiet, before uttering a worried, ‘yeah?’

‘It doesn’t have to mean anything,’ Remus said, though he wasn’t sure how it couldn’t. Because it was easy not to want Sirius when he didn’t think there was a chance he could have him. It was easy to acknowledge how handsome he was when it was just a thought he had on a whim. Who knew what a taste of something real would do to him.

‘But it could mean everything,’ Sirius said.

‘Yeah it could,’ Remus agreed.

Their heads were touching now, their breath intermingling, Sirius’ a mixture of beer and fags and Remus’ minty from brushing his teeth. Neither of them cared as they watched one another. Slowly Sirius moved his hand until it was ghosting along Remus’ neck, his pulse throbbing under pale scarred flesh.

‘Moony?’ Sirius whispered.

‘Yeah?’ Remus asked thickly.

‘Can I kiss you?’

‘Yeah.’

[roseyreveries]

Far Away - 3

Draco Malfoy x Fem!Muggle!Reader Previous Part <- click! Summary: You wake up inside the Harry Potter universe without any explanation as to why you're there. Disclaimer: All characters are being aged up for PLOT (1st years are 15, 7th years are 21) but characters may act immature and childish in the beginning at times to keep their character development. Not accurate to the books or movies. A/N: Draco is not in this because the original part was too long that Tumblr wouldn't let me post it so I had to cut it in half. CW: language, women <3 Directory <- click!

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The Slytherin common room was... intimidating, to say the least. All dark stone and shadowy corners, with the occasional flicker of green light reflecting off the cold waters of the Black Lake just outside the windows. It felt like stepping into a lair, which, I suppose, it kind of was. The other Slytherins milled about, some sprawled on the sleek leather couches, others whispering conspiratorially by the fireplaces. No one paid me much mind as I stood just inside the entrance, trying my best to appear like I belonged. Fake it 'til you make it, I thought, straightening my shoulders and lifting my chin. “You lost, newbie?” a sharp voice snapped me out of her thoughts. I turned to see a girl leaning casually against the doorway to what I assumed were the dorms. The girl had shoulder-length black hair, streaked with green at the tips, and an eyebrow arched so high it practically screamed, I don’t have time for your nonsense. “Not lost,” I replied, trying to sound more confident than I felt. “Just... finding my way.” The girl snorted. “Right. Well, don’t stand there like a damn gargoyle. Come on, I’ll show you the dorms before you embarrass yourself.” With that, she turned and strode off, not even bothering to check if I followed. Not wanting to make things worse, I hurried after her. “Name’s Lila, by the way,” the girl said over her shoulder. “You’re the one Dumbledore dropped in out of nowhere, right? Sorted into Slytherin? Interesting choice.” “Uh, yeah, I guess,” I mumbled, unsure of how much I should reveal. “And you?” “Pureblood royalty,” Lila replied sarcastically, throwing open a door to a cozy but still dark and moody dorm room. “Or at least that’s what they all think. Me? I don’t give a shit about bloodlines or whatever nonsense these snobs are obsessed with.” The room had two beds, one neatly made with emerald-green sheets and the other bare, presumably mine. A few posters adorned Lila’s side— a mix of wizarding bands and what looked like some strange creature with way too many tentacles. A small cauldron sat bubbling in the corner, though the smell was surprisingly pleasant. “That’s your side,” Lila said, flopping onto her own bed. “Keep your junk out of mine, and we’ll be fine. Oh, and don’t even think about touching my stash of chocolate frogs. Those are sacred.”

I let out a small laugh. “Noted. Thanks for showing me around. I wasn’t sure what to expect.” Lila waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t get all mushy on me. Just don’t do anything stupid, and I’ll make sure the rest of these snakes don’t eat you alive.” She shot me a smirk. “I’m kidding. Mostly.” “Appreciate it,” I said, sitting on my bed and starting to unpack. I could feel Lila’s eyes on me, sizing me up. “You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that,” Lila said after a moment. “Walking in here like you own the place. Draco’s already got his knickers in a twist about you. What’d you do to piss him off so fast?” I groaned, flopping back onto her bed. “I exist, apparently.” Lila laughed, a sharp, genuine sound. “Yeah, that’ll do it. Don’t worry, he’ll get over it. Or he won’t, and you’ll just have to deal. Either way, you’ve got me now. So, congrats, I guess.” “Lucky me,” I said with a grin, already feeling a little more at ease. If nothing else, I had one ally in this strange, new world. And for now, that was enough.

The room settled into a comfortable quiet, the sound of the lake faintly gurgling through the enchanted window. I unpacked my things, glancing at Lila occasionally, who was now flipping through an old spellbook, her legs still draped lazily over the side of her bed. “So…” I began, fiddling with the clasp on my bag. “Is Malfoy always like that? Or is it just me?” Lila didn’t look up, but a slow smirk tugged at her lips. “You mean a stuck-up, brooding git with a superiority complex? Yeah, that’s pretty much his thing.” I laughed softly. “Doesn’t it get exhausting, though? He seems… angry all the time.” At that, Lila’s smirk faltered, and she shut the book with a snap. “Yeah, well, Malfoy’s got his reasons. His family’s… complicated. Not that I’m making excuses for him, but people like him? They’re raised to be angry. It’s easier than showing they’re scared or hurt.” I tilted my head, surprised by the sudden insight. “That’s… kind of sad.” Lila shrugged, her tough demeanor slipping just a little. “Maybe. But don’t let that fool you— he’s still a prat. Just don’t let him see he’s getting under your skin, yeah? People like him feed on that.” I nodded, absorbing the advice. “Thanks, Lila. That actually helps.” Lila rolled her eyes, but her lips curved into a small, genuine smile. “Don’t mention it, newbie. You’re in my dorm now, so I guess I’m stuck with you.” I grinned, feeling the first real spark of camaraderie since arriving at Hogwarts. “Hey, what year are you, anyway?” “Second,” Lila replied, leaning back against her pillow. “I’ve already done the whole ‘new kid in Slytherin’ thing, so consider me your personal guide. What about you? What classes do you have tomorrow?” I fished a schedule out of my bag and handed it to Lila, who scanned it with a sharp eye. “Let’s see… Potions, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts. All the basics. Not bad. You’ve got Snape first thing, though. Good luck with that.” “Why? Is he strict?” I asked, my stomach flipping nervously. I already knew the answer, having watched the movies and all, but living it is so much different than seeing it. I couldn't be sure everything was the exact same as in the movies. “Strict? Snape could make a grown man cry with a single glare,” Lila said with a laugh. “But he’s brilliant. Just… don’t screw up in his class unless you want to be the next cautionary tale.” “Noted,” I muttered, already dreading it. Lila tossed the schedule back with a casual flick of her wrist. “Tell you what— I’ll walk you to Potions in the morning. Can’t have you getting lost on your first day. Plus, it’s fun watching the first years panic before class.” I smiled, feeling an unexpected wave of relief. “Thanks, Lila. Really. I wasn’t expecting anyone to, you know… be nice to me here.” Lila’s eyes softened, and for a moment, she looked almost vulnerable. “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” she said, though her tone lacked its usual sharpness. “I don’t do this for just anyone.” I laughed, the tension from the day finally easing. “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.” Lila smirked again, but the warmth in her gaze lingered. “Good."

A loud thud echoed from somewhere outside the dorm, interrupting our conversation. It was followed by a burst of laughter and the unmistakable beat of music reverberating through the walls. “What the hell was that?” I asked, sitting up. Lila, still sprawled on her bed, broke into a mischievous grin. “Oh, you’re in for it now, newbie.” “For what?” I asked, but Lila was already on her feet, her wand lighting up with a quick Lumos. “Come on,” Lila said, her voice low but dripping with excitement. “You’re not gonna want to miss this.” “What’s ‘this’?” I asked, reluctantly sliding out of bed and tugging on my slippers. “You’ll see,” Lila said with a wink, yanking the door open.

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Read the next part here!

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@ferntv @Katie_kinz @forever-living-in-my-head

[newx-menfan]

Thoughts on Cerebro Podcast:

Readers paying attention to nothing except X-Men is kind of brutally true 😂🤣 (I do read other comics…but X-Men is the only book I consistently read…)

Apparently one of the writers cats is very vicious! (I think it’s Jackson’s )🙀😾😹

Was kind of apprehensive when the podcaster mentioned not being a fan of NYX or NXM:AX- NYX I at least get…but I kind of am surprised they weren’t a big fan of NXM…honestly this is the same problem with “Xavier Files” for me; they write it off as “gimmicky” or “commercialization” or “a Harry Potter knockoff”, instead of admitting that NXM really was a great predecessor of Gen X and NM and fit really well with what Morrison had developed. I would say NXM was the only x-book that ever fully “felt” like a true blue “school” book and that the characters felt more realistic because they were flawed and more nuanced than a lot of previous teen characters 😒

Don’t agree that all the NXM should necessarily “break bad”- it makes sense more for someone like Hellion, (who went through bodily harm repeatedly, was heavily “shunned” by adults or labeled as a proto-villain, and was already pretty naturally rebellious) than a lot of the other NXM characters. Like I don’t envision Indra or even modern day Elixir turning because of their personalities…MAYBE Pixie because of Limbo influence? Even Surge, for example, as angry as she is…I can’t picture it working narratively as well.

Agree with the Podcaster that in a lot of ways these characters work in a new title because they feel “college age”- they’re not too young that you have to write a YA/highschool book and can feature broader themes…but they’re also still a “hip” and “young” age…

Brought up what I have been saying for years- that the NXM represented cultural crisis like climate change, 9/11, recession, ect… basically general disenfranchisement caused by modernity…and that they still work for that feeling and are basically the “millennials” of X-books

Kamala WAS editorially mandated 

I feel better hearing it described as “older Bendis” kind of book- as negative as I feel about Bendis, I did really enjoy his “street vibe” with Jessica Jones and Miles and miss those kinds of books. I miss books like “X-Factor Investigations” or the original “NYX”…

Really thrilled to hear Hellion is their favorite lol! (Although Hellion is pretty much EVERYONE’S favorite lol😜)

Really agree with the note that Hellion’s BIGGEST flaw isn’t that he’s wrong, but that he’s arrogant and condescending about it (it’s also TOTALLY why I think he’s an ♈️ and not a ♌️ )

Same with the “he’s not a BAD kid, he just comes off as bad”…

Agree that Laurie Collin’s COULD have made a really cool villian…although I really liked that despite her power set, Laurie WASN’T evil….also objectively…I’m more excited about it being Empath, because as everyone KNOWS, I REALLY wanted the Hellion v. Empath smackdown 😂🤣🤣

F***…. Might need to go back and read “Hellions” now 😂🤣🤣

The writers are obviously going to address the Sophie-Prodigy moment and Laura and Kamala (I have said this with Surge/Dust AX storyline…but again…there’s a difference with writing a problematic scene to explore a real problem vs. being racist/sexist/ect…) 

Really sad to hear the Surge hate ☹️, especially since the writers are obviously doing the same “learning moment” with Sophie and David….again, I would ARGUE the whole point of that original story WAS that Surge was wrong…but whatevs

The “shippers” commentary made me laugh 😂🤣

Liked the conversation around the local feel/geography (I was actually really excited when the “Vessel” at Hudson Yards popped up in issue #1)

I actually DIDN’T think about how Sophie MISSED Decimation…which actually makes it even MORE interesting!… Hellion AND Prodigy are definitely going to give Sophie a piece of their minds though lol

Sophie and Kamala being in the same boat (both didn’t experience THE BAD ERA of X-Men) and learning from one another sounds like it will be really interesting! I am actually MORE excited about Sophie than I was previously after listening to this podcast episode!

The statement about Empath being “Emma’s greatest failure” because you can’t really humble or nudge that character was an interesting way to look at Manuel and I am interested in seeing more of this play out

Sounds like Anole is going to be the one that gets arrested (1:11.45)

The idea of Emma constantly talking shit about Carol Danvers cracked me up 

Dante, David’s boyfriend will be heavily featured in issue #6; also I really appreciated the discussion around Dante, in general 

It does sound like no one should get super attached to any ship from this podcast ep lol

Not sure I care for “Kamala= Superman, Laura=Batman”….but whatevs

Feel super empathetic to Kelly needing to get off the call for his wife- it was super nice of him to do this podcast interview and congratulations on the new addition to his family!! ❤️

Everyone already knows this by now but QQ was originally meant to be “The Krakoan” in the first pitch…honestly it’s for the best because I am picky about my QQ representation…

Hellion commentary (1:27:15)- because THAT’S the most important lol

Totally agree that QQ was a million times better as an antagonist and they (cough…Aaron…cough) ruined a great Morrison character 

Kind of hope they didn’t JUST choose Julian because he’s a “white male privileged character”- Julian definitely IS that, but there’s also plenty more layers TO Julian…

This whole podcast episode is a love letter to Morrison and I LOVE it 😂🤣🤣🤣

Quentin DID steal Julian’s thunder and I am GLAD someone fucking SAID IT! 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

Calling me out on my Hellion grievances lol - yes, yes I AM that bitter lol

Again- I actually don’t see Surge and Wallflower going evil; Wallflower because she saw how her father’s abuse of his powers affected her mother, and Surge, because I think Noriko is too loyal and dependent on others ultimately…. Julian makes sense because he’s always been a pretty independent thinker/ stood his ground when he thought he was right and always had a “damn the consequences” attitude. Julian IS loyal…but his need to do what he saw as “right” often trumped that loyalty- remember him turning on Emma to defend Laura! (might do a bigger write up on this later!)

Hellion got his hands back…but it sounds like they’re going to tackle THAT story on page possibly

I agree that Hellion TOTALLY would have gone through the Crucible as well- while I LIKED Julian’s prosthetics and what they represented…the truth is Julian more or less SAID he wanted them HEALED in “X-Men: Legacy”…it wouldn’t narratively make sense for him to pull a “Karma” and keep them

Kind of do hope we see Julian MAKING telekinetic floating hands as a fight move…

I agree that Hellion would be angry over the loss of Krakoa…but I actually think, after years of Hellion “wanting fame and glory”…after years and years of trauma and abandonment…receding into the background, having his friends alive and back…might have been a relief to him. While Hellion DEFINITELY IS arrogant…I do think he learned his lesson that there’s a negative to “fame and glory”…

Really pleased to hear Lanzing say he wants Hellion to be a bigger character and kind of push back on the “Hellion is just taking QQ’s original role’s place”- I know I am going to get flack for saying this from QQ fans… but; Hellion is more interesting than just being the ANGRY REBELLIOUS FASCHIST KID. QQ’s original anger didn’t have the layers Hellion does. While there’s definitely some egotism and arrogance there….Hellion WENT through a lot of trauma and isn’t entirely WRONG to be angry at the X-Men….Hellion I would argue ALWAYS had a complexity that QQ never did, because Julian was more emotionally intelligent than QQ (and that WAS kind of the point of Kid Omega…his intellect didn’t match his emotional intelligence! He WAS a more realistic take on the kid who is too smart for his own good!)

Glad to hear him mention Laura specifically!

the 7 train IS objectively terrible lol

This *might* be the book where Kamala’s family finds out she’s a superhero…

I agree with the writers and liked the Aamir moment- I think it does highlight that it IS easy to play into stereotypes and discriminate…especially when there’s propaganda actively reinforcing it…

Kamala is apparently going to get an X-verse version of “the Trumper relative” 😳🤣🤣🤣

G Willow Wilson run shoutout ✊✊

Couldn’t say much about the new “Quiet Council”….but they’re all “failed, used, and taught by Emma Frost”…

“Emma is the educator that matters”- truth!…although this DOESN’T highlight her legacy in a particularly nice way or bode well for the new generation of students 🤣🤣🤣

“Why would we STOP” commentary about Krakoa and the freedom they once had is great!

Calling attention to Hellion AND Esme not having the Empath power effect over them in the art (although the cuckoos powers often show up as pink as well)- won’t confirm or deny Empath controlling them

There isn’t a “Cut and Dry” villain in the book apparently (Ooooohhh! I love that! I really DO hope we get Magneto levels of ambiguity with all these characters!)

Agree that the artist did a great job with Empath’s character design and harkening back to the 80’s! (Technically Empath’s hair color changed depending on the artist- sometimes it was a dirty blonde, sometimes brown…also I could totally see Manuel dyeing his hair to match Emma…so…)

Kind of wonder if Firestar OR Magma will pop up… one of my FAV issues of Uncanny X-Men WAS the one where Empath and Roulette manipulated Warpath’s grief over Thunderbird and Firestar…

The commentary ON Empath and the relationship of psychology to power sets was really excellent!! (1:52:05) [I ADMIT IT NOW- I MIGHT NEED to EAT CROW and read “Hellions” 😂🤣🤣] 

Possibly WILL be in conversation with Eve Ewing’s Emma book… (I really WOULD like to see a dive into Emma constantly trying to “undo” the past with new students, and how it’s NEVER about Emma trying to do “right” by these kids…as much as Emma USES her students as martyrdom…the truth is, much like Xavier, it’s ALWAYS ABOUT her ego…that’s why she does it…) [I KNOW people hated KYOST’s take on Emma back in the day…but I would argue that they weren’t entirely WRONG that Emma’s actions are complex and not ALWAYS altruistic…]

….It KIND OF IS Emma’s fault, people 😂🤣

Not sure I love the idea of the cast growing…but we will see…

Lanzing and Kelly MIGHT be on again! 

Thought about making a Greg land joke with the Spider-Man plug…but I won’t be petty….

Overall- I feel better about this book; it DOES seem like the writers are putting A LOT of thought into this book and aren’t just doing things without thinking about it deeply first! I definitely think this is going to be one of the strongest X-book we’ve gotten in a long time and I am PUMPED! 

(Also I may have to listen to CEREBRO Files more- the commentary was really great 😂🤣🤣)

I know I may regret it…but I am REALLY feeling optimistic about this book!!

[milkywayhou]

20 and 10 for the asks <3 <3

HEY TORTA!! <3 <3

GASPP I'M GLAD YOU'RE ASKING ABOUT HER HAHAH. SORRY IF I'M TAKE LONG TIME TO ANSWER IT! :((

10.What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with her?

Ohh boy. You wouldn't believe how much Alternative Universe I made for her. A few AU I remember is her original Universe - Which she was an AI Android with grey motivation and past, and the setting was in post-apocalyptic world where half of the living creature on earth was dead after some incidents. And I kinda used her as an character in my Harry Potter roleplay (she is a villain-)

I'm also currently working on my own AU with her and König as the character hehe.

The first one I guess you already know ;)

An immortal necromancer with her undead knight. This one was inspired by Mili song "Ga1ahad and Scientific Witchery"

So I can see you again

So I can kill you again -both

My brains accelerate -Knight

And I'll -Witch Reassemble you again -both

I appreciate your thoughts

But you've given me too much to tolerate -Knight

I've done so much for you

But you treat me this way -Witch

===

For the second AU is kinda dark (?) I never finished the plot and it was inspired by x0o0x song "冥路"

The plot is about a youtuber/influencer that like to visit abandonment place and she went into a rural area to document an old left base even though there's so much rumour about many people get disappear after they visit that building.

I have a rough scenario about this in my note haha, but i guess I'll still change it later

===

The crumbling ruins of the old military base had long been a subject of rumor and mystery in the remote countryside. Some said it was haunted by ghosts of fallen soldiers. Others claimed a feral beast lurked within, preying on trespassers.

Only the bravest of explorers dared venture through the rusting gates under cover of night. None who entered were ever seen again.

As a streamer, You had made a name for yourself documenting adventures through allegedly haunted locations. When word of the abandoned base reached you, you simply had to investigate. Alone and after sunset, you slipped into the decrepit compound, camera rolling as you narrated in hushed tones.

The first few buildings revealed nothing but dust and debris. As You rounded a dark corner, a figure emerged from the shadows - a tall, broad man in tattered military fatigues, eyeing your camera with a hollow gaze.

"Hello...I didn't expect to find anyone out here. I'm just exploring, I'll be on my way--"

He seized your wrist in an iron grip. Close up, you noticed scars criss-crossing his stubbled face, and something feral in his deadened eyes.

"No one trespasses here. You'll stay." His voice rasped as if disused. Your heart raced, trying to calmly reason with the unstable veteran. But he merely dragged you deeper into the ruins, to a cellar door opening with a rusty squeal.

Down the creaking stairs, You glimpsed your end - a grimy room filled with remnants of those who came before. Your streaming career would end here, in this hell of a madman's making. Unless you could somehow find a way to escape...or turn the tables on your captor

Don't worry, I'll take care of you-

20.Does she have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does she manifest?

Having lost so much control over life's cruelties, Snow guarded jealously what few joys remained in her tattered grasp.

Seeing peers bond closer stirred resentment's bitter tang, irrational logic insisting such intimacy mocked her inability to let down walls. She masked unease through charming jabs, joking any togetherness risked "stealing" one another from her orbit alone.

Less obvious, loneliness twisted innocent acts into perceived betrayals. If comrades gathered without her, paranoid logic conjured conspiracies against fractured minds too tired to fight shadows alone. Jealousy twisted friendships strained by her own detachment into fresh grudges deepening already cavernous isolation.

But she will still outwardly smiled through turmoil reminding she chose this path herself through walls erected in desperation's bid for survival this far. Envy remained her dirty secret, lest it brand weakness compromising years constructing impenetrable facades of resilience and control leaving none suspecting festering loneliness beneath.

[jgroffdaily]

How did I end up here? What are those moments, decisions and coincidences that shape our lives, sometimes leading us down pathways once unimaginable, for better or for worse?

Radcliffe, Groff and Mendez join host Robin Young to talk about the show, its history and their own relationships to the characters they portray.

Interview summary:

Jonathan is asked about the show being a love story about friendships that get left behind. He says that he thinks it’s more difficult, as an actor, to fake a friendship than to fake romantic chemistry.

Dan talks about how much he loves the cast, and he doesn’t have to work to feel that.

When the interviewer plays a clip of Dan singing Franklin Shepherd Inc, Dan says that he moved violently away from the microphone and headphones to avoid hearing himself singing! He stresses out about the song a lot before he does it, but loves it during. He sees it as a love song sung by someone who is desperately trying not to lose a friend but going about it in the worst possible way. The disagreement between Charlie and Frank is because Charlie wants more of Frank in his life than Frank is able to give.

Jonathan says that we are all changing all of the time. It’s challenging to allow yourself to change; your partner to change; your friend to change.

When Jonathan saw Frank in the London production (presumably on video) say the line “I’ve made one mistake in my life, but I’ve made it over and over… that was saying yes when I meant no”, he thought “oof, I get that!”, and was then a “bucket of tears” throughout the rest of the show. When he was trying to learn the show, after he and the rest of the cast had signed on, he couldn’t hear Our Time over his own hysterical crying, remembering what it felt like when he was 19 years old and had just moved to New York - the hope, the dreams, the optimism.

Lindsay said that Our Time still hits them all a lot. She says that at the previous night’s performance, the audience’s reaction to the line (SPOILER!) where Frank first meets Mary and says “I just met the girl I ought to marry” broke her, because it showed how badly the audience wanted that, and the fact that we know it doesn’t happen is so sad.

The trio then discussed what it is like to think about what the original Merrily cast went through, and Daniel compares it to the experience of doing Harry Potter. He says they have had nothing but lovely experiences with the original cast, who are finding the current situation complicated but joyful.

[snowyslytherinowl]

My Views on Coriolanus Snow and The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

This is a Harry Potter blog, but not even Harry Potter can capture my mind and soul like the Hunger Games can. I’ve read TBOSAS three times and I have some opinions to share. My conclusions will be based on the book since I didn’t particularly like the movie. 

Note: I haven’t read the book in about 2 months so I apologize if anything I say is blatantly incorrect. I don’t mind if anyone disputes what I say, but please be respectful. 

And of course, SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!

Point 1: Coriolanus cared for Lucy Gray in his own weird way, but he never loved her

After reading the book for the second time, I thought that Coriolanus never loved Lucy Gray and that he was only ever using her. After reading it for the third time, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that he was only ever using her. I think that he genuinely cared for her before and during the 10th Hunger Games. For example, he felt disturbed at how she had nothing to eat and didn’t talk about what happened to Clemensia since she had bigger problems than he did. Also, Coriolanus kissing Lucy Gray in public during their final goodbye before the Games was one of the only moments where he broke from his true character (and this missing scene from the movie is one reason why I didn’t particularly like it). Coriolanus’s number 1 priority was maintaining his public image, so the fact that he kissed a District girl in public was a big deal. 

However, I don’t think he truly loved her since he viewed her as a possession. Coriolanus admitted to having an obsessive nature, which extended to him being obsessed with her. The first huge red flag in his relationship with Lucy Gray was when he gave her a matching rose before the interviews as a “reminder of who Lucy Gray belonged to.” Throughout the novel and especially after the Games, Coriolanus continually refers to Lucy Gray as “his girl.” He was also perpetually jealous of Billy Taupe even though she assured him time and time again that she loved only him. The most profound statement that proves his possessive nature towards her is when he thinks, “In some ways, it had been better to have her locked up in the Capitol, where he always had a general idea of what she was doing.” 

Coriolanus was someone who valued stability and control, while Lucy Gray was fiercely individualistic. So please stop thinking that it could’ve ever worked out between the two of them. 

Point 2: Lucy Gray is not a pick me girl

At least for the first few months after the book came out, people were claiming that Lucy Gray was what we would consider a pick me girl. The first time I read the book, even I thought that she gave off the vibe of not being like other girls. Lucy Gray emphasizes that she and the Covey were neither District nor Capitol; they’re just the Covey. But after reading the book for the second time, I realized that she only held this view because she was proud of who she was. At the same time, she didn’t think that being Covey made her any better or that District people were worse than her. She also said, “People aren’t so bad, really. It’s what the world does to them.”

I think that the “not like other District people” view originated from Coriolanus. From the beginning, Coriolanus viewed people from the Districts as brutish and subhuman. He used Lucy Gray’s identity as Covey as an argument that she wasn’t like the subhuman District people; she was special and one could even argue that she was even Capitol. It was unfortunate that she and the Covey were rounded up into District 12. I think he developed this idea as both a way to gain sympathy from Capitol viewers and to convince himself that he wasn’t in love with a “worthless” girl. He also would’ve disagreed with Lucy Gray’s quote since he viewed only District people as truly bad to the core. 

Point 3: Lucy Gray survived 

I don’t think we will ever get an answer as to what happened to Lucy Gray. I think her fate is supposed to remain a mystery, just like Wordsworth’s Lucy Gray’s fate remained a mystery. Nonetheless, I personally believe that she survived. 

Coriolanus hated the mockingjays because they were abominations that resulted from the breeding of high-tech Capitol jabberjays and the local District mockingbirds. And who is similar to the mockingjays? Lucy Gray. She was a songbird who wanted to be free and never wanted to be controlled, while Coriolanus wanted to control everything. Just like the mockingjays came to be and flourished in District 12, Lucy Gray also survived. She was a clever bird who survived the Hunger Games and tricked Coriolanus. 

I know that my opinion is based all on symbolism, but many aspects of Suzanne Collins’s writing are symbolic. 

Point 4: Coriolanus never cared for Sejanus

First of all, let me say that the movie did Sejanus DIRTY. They portrayed him as a pain in the ass (he was that in the book, but he was so much more as well) and I even saw some people saying that he deserved what he got. No one says that to my Sejanus. 

Anyway, back to the point: Coriolanus always viewed Sejanus as the bane of his existence. Sejanus was going to steal Coriolanus’s fortune and he always stole Coriolanus’s spotlight. Coriolanus thought that Sejanus brought the tributes food to take the attention away from him; not for one moment did he think that it was because Sejanus had a heart of gold. He viewed Sejanus’s attachment to District 2 as stupid since he should’ve felt lucky to have a comfortable life in the Capitol. 

Yes, Coriolanus jumped off his bunk and threw his arms around Sejanus when he arrived in District 12. But it was not because he was genuinely happy to see Sejanus; he was happy to see Sejanus because he reminded him of home. After their first conversation in District 12 was over, Coriolanus admitted that the news that the Capitol didn’t hate him was what brought him back to life. And while they were “friends” during their time as Peacekeepers, Coriolanus felt like he always had to get Sejanus out of trouble. Coriolanus was constantly watching over Sejanus to ensure he wasn’t communicating with the rebels and he was trying to convince Sejanus not to do anything extreme. This feeling got so bad that he wanted Sejanus out of his life.

One thing I will say is that I don’t think that Coriolanus wanted Sejanus dead, per se. When he recorded Sejanus’s plans using the jabberjay, Coriolanus thought that Strabo would donate tons of money and have Sejanus removed from District 12; he didn’t think he would be killed. I think Coriolanus felt slightly guilty for essentially putting the noose around Sejanus’s neck, but he also thought he was doing Sejanus a favor. He had saved Sejanus from dying multiple times before that, so it was only a matter of time before Sejanus died. So no, Anus^2/Snowjanus wouldn’t have worked out either.

Point 5: Coriolanus wasn’t completely evil from the beginning

I’ve seen people saying that Coriolanus was always evil or that he wasn’t even evil in TBOSAS. My viewpoint is in the middle between these two opinions. I think Coriolanus had messed up thinking from the very first chapter, but he wasn’t evil. He did have some morals, like genuinely caring for Lucy Gray’s well-being and feeling guilty over Clemensia’s snake bites. I don’t think he actually wanted to kill Sejanus or attempt to kill Lucy Gray, but he would kill anyone if it meant he would make it out alive and unharmed. I think Coriolanus would’ve eventually turned evil as he grew older even if the 10th Hunger Games had never taken place. However, I think that Dr. Gaul sending him to District 12 accelerated his path to becoming evil. By the end of the book, Coriolanus had devolved into the primal state resembling humans living without a social contract. 

Point 6: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes isn’t a romance

Point 5 brings me to this point: TBOSAS is a piece on human nature and political control. There is romance and I will admit that I giggled and kicked my feet as I saw Coriolanus kissing Lucy Gray like a starving man (this was despite me already knowing everything that would happen). The main actions of TBOSAS actually revolve around Dr. Gaul’s points on chaos, contract, and control (which originated from Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes). Without a government and without a social contract, people are primal creatures and will kill at a whim. The only way to civilize people is to place them under a social contract, and thus there must be a strong government to enforce this contract and control the people. Coriolanus took Dr. Gaul’s lesson to heart and genuinely believed that only the Capitol could hold Panem together. Throughout the book, Coriolanus starts from a person with questionable thoughts to a person with no morals whatsoever. The downward spiral of his moral compass truly begins when he arrives in District 12, but he loses all morals once he leaves for the woods with Lucy Gray and abandons civilization. Therefore, Coriolanus fell victim to Dr. Gaul’s thesis. 

GIF Credits

Intro: @aemondtagaryen

Point 1: @xthecaptainssaviorx

Point 2: @myrcella-lannister

Point 3: @kvtnisseverdeen

Point 4: @clemensiadovecotes

Point 5: @fyeahvillains

Point 6: @xthecaptainssaviorx

[blooming-violets]

Sorry this is gonna be a bit of a rant since it’s something I’ve had strong feelings about since joining the AG/TASM fanfic part of the internet, and you’ve provided me a great opportunity to talk about it.

As a trans person, I am BEGGING fanfic writers to stop writing Marauders stuff. I’ve seen so many people defend it with “separate art from the artist” but like it or not they are still supporting JKR. Separating art from the artist only really works when the artist can’t profit from it. She has done SO MUCH harm to trans people and particularly trans youth in the UK and it’s so fucking disheartening and gives me such an ick when I see TASM writers also write for Marauders because it truly comes across as “I love and support the trans community except when it comes to this because I like it.”.

Even if you ignore the transphobia and holocaust denial (YES IM SERIOUS, she’s denied parts of the holocaust at LEAST twice and she literally did it a second time the other day), the original writing is so fucking problematic. Things just off the top of my head being;

The goblins being stereotypes of Jewish people

The fucking racism with characters like Cho Chang and Kingsley Shacklebolt

The last Fantastic Beasts movie’s plot literally being trying to make WW2 and the holocaust happen

This point needs to be taken with a grain of salt since this was some bullshit Joanne said after the books came out, but werewolves in the universe being meant to represent people with aids. Which is so fucking awful considering one of the two werewolves was attacked by the other as a CHILD

The most ironic part of this is that if Andrew is truly the person he presents himself as, he would probably fucking despise being associated with HP, even if it is just a fancast. But yeah all this to say fuck JKR, fuck Marauders fans but also thank you so much Katie for that last anon answer because I genuinely don’t see that enough in this corner of the internet.

Even Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter himself, has spoken out against her and continues to loudly support the LGBTQ+ communities. When your own beloved Harry doesn't even want to stand by your side, you should know you fucked up. Sadly, she does not, and instead leans harder into her bigotry and hatred.

I've always been someone who is very loud and opinionated when I see things that I disagree with, which I know can rub some people the wrong way, but fuck it. I don't like to whisper about my issues on the sidelines, I like to confront the problem head on by being very clear about where I stand and how I feel. I'm not gonna sit around and let someone align me with JKR just because I'm writing a stupid werewolf and Peter Parker fic that exactly 5 people are reading lol. It's not even a popular fic like get out of my asks jfc. Esp when I can tell this person has not read a single sentence of my story and is completely basing their judgements on my header image of AG's face next to a wolf gif.

In this past week I have seen both a Steven Harrington werewolf au and a Daredevil werewolf au cross my dash. Do we think they're getting called out for supporting HP?? No. Because their actors weren't "fan casted" as something years ago. Fan casts don't even mean anything! There was never a movie about them. AG was never casted or played this role. It's literally nothing but a bunch of fans agreeing that they like his look for a fictional character.

Anyway, I'm also ranting back at you haha. You can rant to me anytime. I love a good rant and I agree with you 100%.

Werewolves were not created by JKR. Andrew Garfield has nothing to do with Harry Potter. Don't make make snap judgments about a person's character based on a picture you saw. Support your trans community. Don't be dick.

And, if they actually read my werewolf au, they would see that it's literally about learning to overcome your own hatred and biases of people different from you and learning to love those you were taught to hate. Crazy concept, I know! 🙄😉

[lthienofdorthonion]

Through My Window

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, inspired by the Harry Potter universe and the characters I love so much. I am not trying, under any circumstances, to take authorship of J.K. Rowling's original work. All rights belong to the creator of this incredible saga.

Chapter III: Thruths that hurt

It had been a long time since Hermione left her house just to walk. Since the day she left Hogwarts, she had preferred seclusion, as if the walls of her home could protect her from the outside world. However, something drove her to go outside that morning to breathe the fresh air. As she walked through the park, everything around her seemed to have taken on a new life: the trees swayed gently in the breeze, the birds sang melodies that seemed full of hope, and the landscape, although lacking the presence of the sun, shone with a beauty she did not remember having seen before.

"I don’t understand how I let myself shut everyone out for so long," Hermione thought, watching as the leaves drifted lazily from the trees around her.

In the distance, children played among the fallen leaves, laughing with that pure, innocent joy that had eluded her for so long. "Joy, " she thought to herself. That word, which used to be so familiar to her, now seemed foreign, like a memory of a life she had left behind. Its absence was not for lack of reason, although to others it might seem insignificant or even trivial. But to Hermione, the reason was clear and painful: love.

Love, a feeling, which, people said, was so sublime, so perfect, had been for her nothing more than an inexhaustible source of pain. For many, love was synonymous with happiness, shared smiles and warm touch. But to Hermione, love had taken a cruel form, filled with silences and doubts. It  awakened something in her that she should never have felt, or at least that's what she thought.

The rain started falling harder, but she didn't care. She continued walking, her steps slow, as if the weight of her thoughts were keeping her anchored to the ground. After a while, she found a solitary swing under an old tree and decided to sit down allowing the rain to soak her brown hair, not worrying about finding shelter. She couldn't stop thinking about him: Draco Malfoy.

For years, Hermione's hatred of Draco Malfoy had been so deep and visceral that it surprised her at times. He represented everything she despised: remorseless cruelty, arrogance that seemed ingrained in his every gesture, and a ruthless coldness that followed his every step. His words, always sharp as razors, found the perfect way to hurt her, to make her feel small and insignificant. "Mudblood," he called her with a contempt that resonated in her mind long after Malfoy's voice had faded. Those insults didn't only affect her; It also involved his friends, Harry and Ron, to whom Malfoy also showed no mercy and with whom he was often worse. With each passing year at Hogwarts, he seemed to grow meaner, becoming even crueler, more ruthless, until his hostility became an impenetrable wall and a barrier of poison that Hermione felt she could never break through.

—Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter, —smirked Malfoy—. It’d be worth more than his family’s whole house. (From Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets). And even though the comment had been directed at Ron, it had been Hermione who had felt it as a blow. With every word, with every mocking laugh, Malfoy pushed her deeper and deeper into the abyss of contempt.

As time passed, Malfoy's cruelty was not just limited to words. As if his hatred and resentment had found new ways of manifesting themselves, he began to become more violent, more ruthless. Hermione could see how his gaze darkened, how his temper became unpredictable, as if at any moment he could burst. Malfoy, no longer content with insults, started culminating provocations in acts of aggression. There were days when, with the slightest provocation, he would physically attack Harry, Ron, or anyone who dared to challenge him or simply irritate him. He pushed them, hit them or even cursed them, blinded by a rage that not even he seemed to understand and that seemed to eat him up inside. Each encounter with him felt more dangerous, more charged with an explosive tension that kept everyone on constant alert.

How could someone like Malfoy, with all his power and privilege, find joy in cruelty? Instead of letting his words get to her, Hermione had begun to ignore and avoid him. However, over time, something began to change within her. She no longer felt the same hatred towards him. What had previously been intense rage had now cooled, turning into silent pity. "Poor Malfoy," she often thought. "Maybe his life is not as perfect as it seems and that's why he is the way he is," she said to herself. "People aren't like that just for the sake of it."

But pity wasn't the last thing she felt. Inevitably, that pity transformed into curiosity. Hermione couldn't help but wonder what Malfoy was really hiding behind that facade of coldness. There was something in his gaze, in those piercing gray eyes, that she had always found disturbing and somewhat intriguing. Now, every time she looked at him, she thought she saw something else. Was it Sadness? Pain? Loneliness? She wondered if, behind that mask of arrogance and hatred, was a human being so broken and trapped, waiting to be seen.

/FLASHBACK/

It was mid-term at Hogwarts, 6th year. Hermione walked through the school corridors, her backpack heavy on her shoulders, towards the library. It was a gray day, with the sky covered in clouds, giving the entire castle a calm, almost melancholic atmosphere. When she entered the library, she noticed that it was relatively full, which was unusual for that time. The students, immersed in their tasks and conversations, almost did not notice her. As always, Hermione found a secluded corner, one where she could focus, and chose a table by the window. In front of her, a tall bookcase covered the wall, filled with books in disarray. She settled into her seat, took out her parchment and quill, and began working on her homework.

Silence was almost absolute, interrupted only by the rustling of pages and the whispers of the other students. But in the midst of his concentration, something caught her eye. Through the small gap between the shelves, Hermione could see someone sitting on the other side of the bookshelf. It was Draco Malfoy. He was alone, like her, but he didn't seem to be doing any homework. He was just there, looking at the sky through the window, with a lost gaze. Something about his posture seemed strange. He wasn't the arrogant, self-assured Draco she always saw. He seemed vulnerable, even sad.

Hermione couldn't help but take a closer look. There was something about the way he had slumped into his chair, his shoulders hunched as if the heavy burden of his own existence was too much to bear. His eyes, usually cold and disdainful, were now cloudy, almost glassy. His lips were pressed into a thin line, as if trying to contain something that was tormenting him. The lioness frowned at the sight. What was going on with him? She couldn't help but be drawn at the sight, not only by the vulnerability he was showing, but by an inexplicable feeling that took over her every time her gaze met him.

Time passed slowly, and she couldn't stop watching. Something about him, in his fragility, kept her mesmerized. She felt a whirlwind of emotions in her chest, a mix of worry and something else. Something deeper. It wasn't the typical shallow attraction she might have felt for someone. No, this was different. There was something about his sadness that spoke to her in a much more personal way, something that touched her soul.

Suddenly, Draco murmured quietly, so quietly that Hermione could barely hear him, "I have to… I have no choice." The words were like a whisper in the stillness of the library. They seemed filled with fear, desperation. Hermione felt a shiver run down her spine. What did he mean by that? Why did those words sound like a confession, aimed at no one in particular?

Hermione's heart beat faster, and without being able to stop herself, she leaned forward a little, as if her body was responding without thinking to an invisible force that was pulling her towards him. A desire to get closer, to understand, invaded her strongly. She wanted to go up to him, ask him what was wrong, why he looked like that, why he seemed so… sad. But she knew she couldn't. Malfoy would never speak to someone like her.

It was then when, for a second, their eyes met.

The lioness froze in place. Draco's piercing gray eyes looked at her, shining with a mixture of surprise and… something else. An instant recognition, a fleeting connection, as if the two of them could see each other through the facades they normally maintained. He hadn't expected her to be looking at him, and she, in turn, hadn't expected to find that vulnerability in him, that side of Draco he'd never shown to anyone. The eye contact was so strong that she felt a pressure in her chest, as if the air around them had become dense. She felt her face turn completely red and she couldn't help biting her lower lip as a sign of nervousness.

For a moment that seemed like an eternity, Hermione and Draco didn't say anything. They only looked at each other. It was as if the entire world had completely stopped, leaving them both trapped in that moment. Something inexplicable was happening between them, a palpable tension, as if a spark had jumped between their gazes. It was as if, for a second, everything between them disappeared. But, just as the Slytherin's vulnerability had appeared for a moment, it also disappeared quickly.

Draco stood up suddenly, nervous, as if he had been caught in an act he didn't want anyone to see. Hermione watched as his face reddened for an instant, and he licked his lips quickly, as if trying to calm himself down. His expression instantly changed. Draco Malfoy's façade lifted again, and in the blink of an eye, the vulnerable person she had observed vanished. The attraction, the magnetism of that moment, became discomfort.

Without another word, Malfoy turned away and quickly left the library, leaving only the echo of his footsteps behind. Hermione stood there, unable to move, her heart beating faster than normal. Her mind was filled with confusing thoughts, questions she couldn't answer. “What the hell was that?  Why did I feel that way?” For a second, she felt as if she had touched something within him, something that he didn't even want to recognize, but that she had perceived without even wanting to.

With a deep sigh, Hermione looked back at the window, the cloudy sky outside, trying to remember what her duties were, but she couldn’t concentrate. Her mind was far from all that. The tension between them, although not understood even by themselves, hung in the air, persistent and unbreakable.

/END OF FLASHBACK/

She knew very well what kind of family Malfoy came from. Lucius Malfoy did not bother to hide his contempt for anyone who did not belong to his “pure blood” world. The fact that his father was a Death Eater was a well known fact, something that Malfoy never spoke openly about but that everyone knew. It was a big part of why everyone feared him. Hermione had understood this long before everything fell apart with the war. She knew the brutality of the world Malfoy had grown up in, and having seen Lucius in person, she couldn't imagine the kind of pressure he must have put on Draco. Not only was Lucius tough; he seemed like an amplified version of his son's cruelty, triply cold and ruthless. Hermione had noticed it in the few interactions she had witnessed: the constant disapproving looks, the cruel words, and the way Malfoy seemed to cower before him, even if he tried to hide it.

She couldn't conceive what it would be like to live in such an environment. What kind of childhood could someone who was raised in a home where hatred and contempt were instilled as values have had? Over time, Hermione began to understand that Malfoy's behavior was nothing more than a reflection of what he had known all his life. He just… did not know how to be otherwise. He had grown up in the shadow of a tyrannical father, in a home where kindness was seen as a weakness and cruelty as a strength. “Perhaps,” Hermione thought, “this cruelty he showed towards others was nothing more than an armor he had forged to protect himself from the world, or worse, from his own family.”

Her curiosity consumed her. Every time she bumped into him in the hallways or when, as always , Malfoy took any opportunity to insult them, Hermione scanned him with a precision that sometimes frightened her. Her eyes roaming over his face in search of some sign, something that would give her a clue as to what was really going on inside of him. As the cruel words left his mouth, she forced herself to see beyond the facade. Draco might act like a jerk, but in those moments, when hatred dripped from his lips, there was something that unnerved her. She had noticed, in certain notes of his voice, a touch of sadness, as if, despite his coldness and contempt, something inside him was not right. Even his body language, that haughty posture he always tried to maintain, sometimes broke, revealing something vulnerable, something broken.

She cared. She couldn't stop thinking about him. Draco Malfoy was occupying her thoughts in a way she never would have imagined. And soon, that curiosity, that need to understand, became something much deeper. Hermione didn't want to admit it, not even to herself, but her heart pounded at the sight of him. It was love. That strange, contradictory love, which was mixed with wounds and contempt, and which, despite everything, continued to grow in the shadows of her thoughts.

Hermione knew that Draco Malfoy was following in his father's footsteps. They all knew it. As the years passed, Malfoy's absences from class became more frequent, and it was no secret that during those periods he had been seen lurking around Knockturn Alley, always accompanied by shadowy and suspicious individuals. You didn't have to be a genius to understand what that meant. It was only a matter of time before he became a Death Eater, one more in Voldemort's ranks.

And finally, her fears were confirmed. During the war against Voldemort, he was seen on the enemy side, as they had predicted. Malfoy, carrying the dark mark, fought mercilessly against those who had once been his schoolmates. Hermione couldn't believe it when she saw him raise his wand and cast the Cruciatus curse for the first time with a shrill, almost deranged laugh. The same person who had been a spoiled, arrogant, cruel child at Hogwarts now seemed to enjoy the suffering of others in the midst of battle. It was as if the boy she had known, no matter how despicable he was, had completely disappeared, replaced by someone broken, someone who had completely surrendered to the darkness that had surrounded him all his life. That Draco Malfoy, who had always used his words like daggers, now wielded dark magic just as coldly. The boy who had insulted her friends, who had made fun of their families, had now become something much worse than Hermione had ever imagined.

Two years had passed since she left Hogwarts, and in that time she had not seen Malfoy again. Even so, his shadow remained present in her life, her thoughts, her dreams. Her love for him was constant torture, a reminder of how incomprehensible human feelings could be.

Raindrops continued to fall heavily on her face, but she barely noticed it. She got up from the swing and began walking again. The leaves continued to fall around her, and the children, oblivious to her internal torments, continued playing, happy.

Hermione knew that what she felt for Malfoy would never make sense to anyone else, maybe not even to herself. But, somehow, that painful love was a part of her, something she could not erase or ignore. As she continued walking through the rain, she realized that her love for Draco Malfoy, as absurd and painful as it was, was part of the person she had become. And although sometimes she wished she had forgotten it, she knew that the truths that hurt are the ones that stay most deeply in the heart.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

✨Chapter I:

✨Chapter II:

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// ✨Read all chapters (full story) in AO3 here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60701563/chapters/155010175

[loveyourself007]

THIS CHRISTMAS

Author: @loveyourself007

Pairing: BTS x O. C. (Original Character)

Genre: Holiday!! AU, rom-com, fluff, magic, magical powers, Small Town!! AU

Ratings: 13+

Status: Ongoing

Synopsis: Maria Snow, an aspiring writer with a life long reputation of being called a Grinch was living her life as the way she always wanted, but what she always lacked was the spark of magic that kept her from celebrating the most wonderful time of the year, The Holidays.

She always thought that she will hate Christmas till the end of time, until This Christmas comes to her with a wonderful gift in hand. What will she do when this unexpected gift starts changing the course of what she thought was right. Will she still be able to uphold her Grinch reputation this year or will they come shattering down as she starts enjoying these gifts.

Seven Days, Seven Strangers and lots of Christmas Magic, with an advice:

"Do not get attached; Just enjoy the ride."

Chapter 1: I

..................................................................................

~18th December: 6 days to Christmas 🎄🎁~

Nothing better than a morning where you don't have to think about going to work and just have to relax. Since it's the holiday season you thought of giving yourself a holiday too, doing nothing till the end of the whole week leading to Christmas Eve.

Now that you were on a much needed vacation you thought it would be a good idea to treat yourself this morning. Which is the reason why you stood infront of the door of a coffee shop so early. Actually you were a little surprised that this place was even open, you were an early bird and it was pure luck that this cosy looking café was open at seven in the morning.

The exterior was all wooden like one of those bars in the Harry Potter movies, overall the place looked really inviting so without giving it much thought you went inside.

If you thought the exterior was cosy looking then the interior of the café actually gave you a homey feel, everything was wooden like the old shops or bars in the country with all the Christmas decorations.

Being inside the café you immediately spotted the barista, his back facing you, maybe he was getting ready for the day ahead. There was no one in the café apart from you and the man working behind the counter.

You took off your coat and hung it on the coat rack and then went towards the counter to order.

As you went closer, you noticed that the man was humming to himself while swaying along with the melody. He had a nice voice. As soon as he sensed your presence he turned towards you with a cheerful smile on his face, and boy were you flustered. The man looked like a Greek god, he was so handsome, you couldn't help but stare. His rosy cheeks probably due to the cold weather, his plump lips and those broad shoulders with a lean yet muscular body, he was perfect. He was wearing a white button up shirt with black slacks and an apron tied around his back.

You felt enchanted just by looking at him, as soon as your eyes landed on him you felt like you were in a daze.

You didn't realise you had been staring him with your mouth wide open this whole time until he snapped his fingers infront of you.

"Yes." You asked quickly closing your mouth and avoiding eye contact as much as possible, you were so embarrassed you felt like burying yourself in the ground. Your ears started warming up and your heart it went crazy beating inside your chest.

"You know I always get these types of reactions you don't have to feel embarrassed, I'm quite used to it now." He said, his voice sweet as honey, with a hint of cockiness.

"How can I not I was practically drooling while looking at you." You replied, dying from the embarassment.

"There is nothing wrong in admiring what you like." He said, winking at you.

You knew you were a goner now.

"So what can I get you." He asked politely.

"A caramel machhiato, please." You replied with a big smile on your face, you wondered how much long it will take for your cheeks to start hurting from the way you were smiling. It was your first time behaving and feeling like this in front of a stranger, you yourself couldn't understand why or how this was happening to you.

"A caramel machhiato coming right up." He said with the same enthusiasm as before.

You paid the bill and sat at one of the coffee tables. While he was working on your order you couldn't help but stare at his figure, but when he caught your eye you immediately turned your head and started looking at the decorations, since the whole café was empty you couldn't help but feel awkward, should you start a conversation with him or just leave him alone, following thoughts were invading your mind.

"So, you work here alone?" You asked, unable to take the silence any longer.

"You can say so. I own this place." He replied, still working.

"Must be tough then, managing everything yourself."

"Not really, only a few special people know about this place so there is no work load." He replied turning towards you with a smile. He brought your drink at your table which wasn't too far away from his counter.

"One minute." He said as he kept the cup infront of you and rushed back towards the counter.

He came back with a croissant in hand.

"It's on the house." He said placing the croissant in front of you.

" Thank you so much. You didn't have to."

"I had to. Can't let a pretty girl like yourself leave this place without tasting my special." He replied giving you a wink again with a playful smile.

"Do you mind if I sit with you." He asked already pulling the chair for himself.

"Not at all." You couldn't believe you were flirting with a stranger. Your cheeks started hurting from how long you were smiling. What was happening to you?

"I'm Kim Seokjin." He said while offering his hand.

"Maria Snow." You shook his hand and it was like sparks filled inside your body. You then immediately took a sip of your caramel machhiato to hide your flustered expression. It felt like you were a drunk teenager who felt flustered everytime she did or said anything around her crush.

"Beautiful name, reminds me of Christmas."

"Yeah my parents loved Christmas so they came up with a name that would remind them of it." You replied.

"And you?" He said

"What?" You asked, a little confused.

"Don't you like Christmas?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

"Not really."

"What? You don't like Christmas?" He said raising his voice which was filled with disbelief.

"It's not like everyone has to like it." You replied, shrugging your shoulders.

"Why don't you like it?" He inquired.

"Well it's a little hard to explain." You replied hesitantly.

"Try me." He said

"Well firstly because I think that Christmas is overrated. If people want they can be cheerful and happy throughout the year why need a specific time to feel happiness. Secondly, people talk shit about their families and friends for the whole year and then suddenly on Christmas they want to spend it with their loved ones, again you could've done this at anytime of the year why on Christmas day?" You replied, with pure annoyance.

However the look on Seokjin's face was entirely different, something you couldn't understand.

"Are you sure these are the only reasons why you don't like Christmas?"

"What else would there be?" You replied, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Maria I've met a lot of people in my life and I can tell when someone is in pain and trying to hide it behind a mask." He said with a look of sympathy.

It felt like he struck a chord in you with his words and everything that you had tried to hide came pouring back to you. You have always tried to hide your vulnerable side from everyone but you couldn't understand how can a stranger make you feel all these things with just his words.

Again you wondered why were you being like this.

"It's not. I'm not, trying to hide any pain." You replied with the last bit of strength you had to hide your vulnerability from him.

"Is it not? Is it not true that you don't like Christmas because you're always alone? Seeing everyone with their loved ones you feel jealous, you envy their happiness. Tell me is it not true."

He said. To which you were about to defend yourself but he interrupted you.

"I'm not trying to accuse you of anything, love. I just want you to understand that you should never be ashamed of what you are feeling." He said, his voice sweet and soft as a feather.

You couldn't control your tears at his words it was like a dam broke. You couldn't stop your tears . Has this man casted a spell on you why couldn't you stop yourself, you couldn't help but wonder.

"It's ok darling. Everyone feels like this, everyone has felt loneliness more than once in their lives. It doesn't matter why you are lonely, what matters is how and what you do to get rid of it." He said while taking your hand in his, as a gesture to comfort you. He then took out his handkerchief and offered it to you. You quickly took it from him and wiped your tears. You then took a sip of your drink which was surprisingly still hot to calm yourself.

"You're right. God this is so embarrassing. I don't even know why I'm telling you this." You said, your face heating up because of your outburst, just a moment ago.

"Probably because you don't know me and it feels better to open up to a stranger you don't know than talking to a close one, with whom you feel that you'll be judged." He replied.

"And to your good luck this stranger is not only a good looking barista but also a very good listener." He said playfully, probably to lighten up the mood. You gave him a smile and continued your story.

"My parents loved Christmas. It was so nice, spending the whole holiday season with them, until that accident occurred and they died. It just felt so wrong, celebrating Christmas after that." You stopped to take a sip of your coffee.

" But I did try to get over it and move on. I met a man, fell in love and then on Christmas Eve when I went to his place to surprise him, I found what heartbreak felt like, he cheated on me and that too with my best friend. After that I just gave trying to feel happy, especially in this season." You answered letting your tears fall down your face.

Seokjin shifted his chair towards yours so he can be closer to you. He held your hand in his.  You felt his warmth radiating off of him and onto you, it felt really comforting. He met your eyes and gestured for you to continue.

"I just felt like I don't deserve to feel happy and seeing everyone around me happy and enjoying the love of their loved ones I just felt more miserable." You replied, closing your eyes while the tears flowed down your cheeks.

You felt Seokjin's hand on your cheeks wiping away your tears, the warmth of his hand and his touch igniting a strange type of spark in you.

"Everyone deserves to be happy Maria, especially you. After everything you have been through, happiness is not something you have to envy or long for. It will come to you on its own." He said, his thumb grazing the apple of your cheek.

His voice, his close proximity was driving you crazy. You knew what will happen if you opened your eyes right now. You were trying so hard to resist it, but then Seokjin's words came to your mind and every second thoughts, every bit of resistance went out of the windows. You opened your eyes and looked at him, his eyes mirroring the same look as yours, of desire, need and want. At that moment you knew, you were caught up in whatever spell Kim Seokjin has casted on you and there was no going back from it.

"How? How can I be happy? If I don't have a reason to be." You asked, voice as soft as a feather.

"Do you want me to give you that reason." He asked, his eyes turning dark probably the same as yours. Without even hesitating, you nodded your head and it was like he had been holding himself back this whole time.

As soon as you gave him your consent he intertwined his fingers with yours and traced your jaw with his other hand that was earlier on your cheek and settled it on your chin tilting your face so that your lips were at level with his. Your heart skipped a beat and you felt butterflies dancing in your stomach, you closed your eyes shut as he started leaning closer, painfully slow. As soon as he closed the gap, tingles went down your heart. His lips soft and plump took control of yours. You traced his shoulder blades with your free hand, you have been wanting to do that since the moment you had laid your eyes on him. Then you went to his hair, tangling your hands in those soft ebony locks. He left your chin and wondered his hand down your waist and let it settle their. Then he licked your bottom lip and you opened your mouth for him to let his tongue inside, the two of you got lost in the sparks of your own desire.

When you parted from the intense make out, his face made you want to pull him again but the need to catch your breath was much more. His face was  flushed red, hair dishevelled, he looked marvelous and to think that you were the reason behind, made you feel proud and happy after such a long time.

"I have a present for you." He said, as he took out a small box, gift wrapped in pink and a red ribbon tied.

"Did you just get that box from out of thin air." You asked, surprised from the box appearing out of nowhere.

"No silly, I had it with me all this time maybe you would've noticed it if you looked around instead of only focusing on my face." He said and chuckled. On any other day you would have argued more and wouldn't stop questioning until you were proven right but today it was as if you have lost your reasoning all of a sudden.

"You have to open this on Christmas morning. Promise me." He said, handing you your present and holding up his pinky finger, you laughed at his cuteness but interlocked yours with his.

"Wow, time went away so fast. I didn't noticed it's already time to bid you farewell."

"What?"

"Maria I wish you start believing in Christmas." He said with an expectant smile on his face, what he was expecting you didn't knew but you felt as if you were drifting away from him. And then suddenly felt everything turn black.

..................

You opened your eyes as the sunlight from your window fell on your face. You immediately sat up and noticed your surroundings. You were in your appartment sitting on your bed.

So that means you were dreaming everything?

How could that be a dream though? You actually felt everything as if it was really happening with you. It wasn't making any sense, you checked the date on the calendar and it was another day. You had slept for a whole day? You couldn't believe it but what other explanation you had.

........................

"Happiness is not something one has to ask for. Everyone deserves to be happy in their lives."

[clockworkprism]

I really wanted to go into RoP with an open mind but my god it's just not a good show. And while parts of it are a bit closer, the rest is just a different fantasy world altogether. So to avoid spamming the Tolkien tag I'm just cramming it all here. If you like the show you can skip, pretty sure it's all been said before this is just my little shout into the void. But I'll start with positives.

I'm enjoying Celebrimbor much more this season. The whole plot with Sauron has been nailing the characters while fleshing out details. Almost a little horror movie like, which is great. Honestly wish they just made that the main plot and ignored the rest.

Ciaran Hinds is always good, even if I have no idea what's the point of that whole side show.

Charles Vickers is proving that he does understand the assignment, no notes.

Durin and Disa are continuing a great storyline, though I'm not quite as into it as I was in season 1. At least she has more of a beard.

Ok now for the negatives.

Why is Tom Bombadil in Rhun? Without Goldberry? Why is he so dull? Dude should be the life of the party. You hear him sing from a mile away he doesn't hum under his breath.

Why are there Barrow Wights not even in the right place and thousands of years before the Witch King?

We're going to skip over the nonsense of the slime monster Sauron except to say there's no way he would be killed by some orcs.

A Hobbit prophesized the fucking Shire??????

Gandalf needs to find a wand? What in the Harry Potter nonsense is that? Is Tom Bombadil Olivander now??

Also, what kind of nonsense is "no one gives you a name"?? Roughly 95% of people were given their names

Numenor has nothing to do with Numenor. Just completely different place entirely. Why do they dislike elves? Why are they turning against the Valar before Sauron shows up? They were already falling into evil sure, but it was a much more "we're awesome we should rule everyone because we're awesome" way. Not some we need to just be isolated and purge the faithful way.

The Palantir aren't evil yet, and the Numenoreans didn't worry about using them. Unless they reveal Sauron had a Palantir the whole time and that's how he pre corrupted Pharazon. Still stupid but better.

I was briefly hopeful the eagle would speak at the coronation. It would correct one of the bigger problems with the Jackson movies. But no, it just stands there as an unworthy king gets to usurp the throne. The Eagle is a herald of Manwe, it wouldn't allow itself to be used as a prop.

They just copy pasted Luke's Empire Strikes Back storyline for Stranger and Tom. Cause they want to be original but not too original I guess.

Every time there's an allusion to Sauron/Galadriel I want to punch my television.

Durins Bane just popping up to kill Durin felt like a let down. He should be a Kaiju destroying Khazad Dum, but now the umph is gone. I'm assuming we'll still get the big unleashing of the balrog eventually but this was premature.

Season 2 was better, but still felt like 90% filler.

[very-gay-poet]

Hi!

I just read your pinned post, after reading your post on the writers group page which we are both in and I just wanted to say your fic sounds very exciting. I am also working on a huge project of writing marauders years 1-7, plus the war, plus beyond (hopefully). Anyways what you said about JKR hating your fic resonated strongly with me. People often complain about having to tag the Harry Potter (JKR) fandom on Ao3 because they don't like her, and I say, I'm proud to tag it because I've created something she would HATE! *Cue Evil Laugh*

It's like a big double fingered bird.

Or a stinky cow pie on her front porch.

I hope your writing is going well. It's really hard work. But I love it. I'm hoping to move through the original seven books eventually but I'm following canon events :( I'd like to write from anyone's POV but Harry's though. And then I want to do some uplifting afterlife stuff because all my characters die.

Do you have a time goal for when you plan to start posting?

omagosh hello!!!! I'm so excited to read your fic honestly it sounds like its something I'd enjoy!!! lmk when it comes out!!! It sounds really good if you could tell me a bit more about it (if thats cool ofc) about like what ships you'll be doing etc etc (I can NEVER find anything detailed on remus's pov in PoA always just a summery :( like I WANNA KNOW WHAT THAT SAD GAY MAN THINKS D:)

anywasy THANKYOUSOMUCHAHHHHHHHH I originally started this idea with a "what if" in Harry Potter and then it kind of spiraled into spite-fiction (you see what I did there? ;D) and it means the world to me honest, when I read this I was smiling all day <3

I really don't like JKR for obvious reasons but also because like??? she gave us nothing??? I honestly don't understand how she's missed the point of HER OWN STORY so hard and tbh it seems like she was more interested in writing Tom Riddle and his backstory, not Harry's. I think she should've made a Tom Riddle story she just seems to write better for him than any other story line (not to mention how complicated she made it how much time she put into the villain's origins story instead of her MCs and how he was the most fleshed out character in all of HP but that's just my opinion) her writing is flawed, her plot were eh, basically none of the characters had any kind of character growth/ arc and they felt like cardboard not even mentioning a bunch of shitty stuff in there as well as, ofc, how there's NO FLAVOR. All of them are just straight white cis people (mainly men too???? like where's the feminism in the self proclaimed "feminists" writing???) and only included any kind of diversity when it was more acceptable (don't even get me started on Dumbledore being reveled gay but she killed Remus Sirius and Tonks off bc they were too camp when she was writing it) and beneficial for HER. not to mention all the misogyny, anti-Semitism, racist stereotypes, and harmful gay stereotypes and just plain bad writing like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

about the "my favs dying" OMG YESSSSS literally EVERY SINGLE BOOK IVE READ my favs die :( I know its on purpose but like :(

I'm so thankful for your kind words they really did make my day and I do truly hope you'll push through and remember you've always got my support bbg <33333

as for a timeline I'm trying to get organized right now and its a NIGHTMARE. but thank you still have the best day you beautiful rays of sunshine and may Apollo like you enough to put you in his good graces <333

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Messy Christmas, Everyone

Fandom: Harry Potter,Marauders

Pairing: James Potter x Original Female Character, James Potter x Regulus Black, Sirius Black x Original Female Character

Characters: James Potter, Original Female Character, Sirius Black, Regulus Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Euphemia Potter, Fleamont Potter,

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 15370

Summary: Euphemia Potter always ensures Christmas is the most magical time of year for everyone but will a house full of heartbroken teenagers change that?

Tags/Warnings: Cheating, Unrequited Love, Betrayal, Established Relationship, Implied Homophobia, Black Family Dynamics, Angst, Fluff

Notes: yes its a month since christmas but ive been BUSY okay

Marauders Masterlist // Tag List

Anyone who was anyone in the wizarding world knew that Euphemia Potter’s Christmases were something to behold. Of course that could be said about anyone with money, and yet they were still no patch on Effie. From her lavish Christmas Eve soirees, inviting practically everyone they knew to enjoy the spirit of the season, to her Boxing Day brunches, designed to help those who’d overdone the sherry become semi-human again, she was a hit. And that was without mentioning the weeks she’d spend visiting the elderly, procuring gifts for the less fortunate, and ensuring her son and his friends had the best holiday season imaginable. It didn’t even factor in Christmas Day, which, though small in numbers, remained just as demure and special. In fact, one would think of Euphemia’s Christmases as the height of decorum and grace. Or at least they were.

✵✵✵

James could barely contain his excitement. It never failed to amaze him how excited he got around Christmas despite having firmly left his childhood long ago, if only by numbers a couple of years since. But come December first he was always caught up in the spirit, and it never failed to grow the moment he touched down at his parent’s house for Christmas. Granted he’d fared better than his friends, who hadn’t managed to escape the clutches of work until a couple of days before the big day, which was why he was standing in his bedroom, glancing outside at the expanse of snow-covered lawns outside and listening for the telltale crack of apparition that would signal his friend's arrivals. With each growing minute it failed to come, he grew more antsy, but he knew heading downstairs would only leave him open to being collared by his mother to help with some errand or chore. So, he sat listening, and the moment he heard a knock on the front door, he bolted down the stairs, ready to greet whichever of his friends had arrived first.

It was Peter, bundled in his thick coat and scarf with his suitcase dangling from his gloved hand. He could’ve only been there two minutes, but his nose and ears were tinged pink from the cold so that their familial embrace was shortened as James pulled him in from the snowy front step.

‘Have you come straight from work?’ James asked as he watched Peter strip his layers off, hanging them and his bag by the coat stand, where they’d no doubt be tidied away by the house-elves, revealing his suit and tie.

‘Had to. I thought I’d get some of the work out of the way before the holiday; that way I’ve nothing to worry about,’ Peter said.

‘Gave up on the ol’ leave-it-to-the-last-minute method from school?’ James teased.

‘Well, the number of detentions we got ourselves using that method kind of put me off,’ Peter said as he shrugged off his suit jacket and tossed it over his suitcase, loosening his tie as he did so.

‘Yeah, that’s true,’ James said, as the pair moseyed through to the drawing room. The fire was roaring, crackling gold flames that glinted off the ornate tile that surrounded it, throwing light and heat into the finely decorated room. Cakes, biscuits, and sandwiches adorned trays on the coffee table and were accompanied by a teapot and several cups. Even running errands Mrs. Potter would never be known not to cater to a guest.

‘Oh thank Merlin,’ Peter said as he sank onto a plush sofa, taking a sandwich from the tray as he went, ‘I’m bloody starving.’

‘You’re always starving,’ James smirked as he took a seat opposite him, pilfering a cake from the tray himself as a lazy flick of his wand started the teapot pouring a cup for him.

'Have been since I moved out of Mum and Dad's,' Peter said, sandwich rolling around his mouth as he spoke, 'then again they're not a patch on Hogwarts. Or here for that matter.'

'Well, I'm glad to hear it,' Euphemia said as she appeared at the door, a lanky nineteen-year-old Remus Lupin, standing by her shoulder. Both James and Peter sat up further at the appearance of their friend, and though his enthusiasm didn't quite meet theirs, most likely due to the deep purple bags under his eyes, he replied to their 'hello mates' with a weak, 'hiya.'

'Look who I found on the doorstep,' Euphemia said as she ushered him into the room, fussing over him as he slipped into a chair, 'looked barely awake enough to knock, poor thing.'

'I'm fine Euphemia, promise,' Remus protested weakly.

'That may be, but it's nothing a fresh pot of tea won't fix. And I'll get the elves to fix up your room right away so you can rest if you want,' Euphemia said.

'Thank you,' Remus said, patting the hand that was resting on his shoulder before she slipped out of the room. Once she was gone, he sank back into his chair, his eyes closing for a moment as the others watched him, waiting for him to settle, which he did, his smile tired but happy as he looked at them.

'Rough one?' James asked.

'S'alright,' Remus said with a yawn.

'Sorry I couldn't make it,' James said, 'Mum needed me to—’

'Don't worry about it,' Remus said, waving him off.

'You missed a good 'un though,' Peter said, 'I don't even remember making it through work the day after I was so tired.'

'Yeah, probably why I’m still aching,' Remus said, ‘Pads enjoyed himself though.'

'Speaking of, where is he?' James asked, curious to find his best friend and Remus’s roommate not in tow as normal. The truth was James was kind of glum he didn’t live with them. He and Sirius had always been thick as thieves, and it would've made sense for them to live together once inducted into the real world. But one failed relationship had steered him to a lonely apartment that felt all the lonelier recently with Remus and Sirius becoming closer than ever, at least that's how James felt every time that his other friend blew him off.

'Coming later,' Remus said with another yawn, 'said he had something to sort out.'

'What?' James said, trying to fight the feeling of rejection that he had been left out of yet something else.

‘Dunno,’ Remus shrugged before he leaned forward to make himself a cup of tea, touching the lukewarm pot to see if it was worth the effort. James was about to try and question him further, though he knew it wasn’t the man’s fault, but fortunately Peter distracted him by asking, ‘So, you all set for the big day?’

‘Not quite,’ Remus said first, settling back when he found the teapot not worth his trouble, ‘I’ve bought everything mind. Just been too tired to wrap it all.’

‘Ask Mum,’ James said, his frustration melting to sympathy in an instant, as it often did where Remus was involved.

‘No,’ Remus said, stubborn as he usually was when it came to accepting any form of help.

‘She’ll not care,’ James protested.

‘I do,’ Remus replied, an annoyance tinging his voice that everyone recognised was at himself rather than James.

‘Oh come on,’ James pleaded, ‘you don’t want to waste time sitting wrapping everything, and she’ll want the paper to match the rest for the look of it all anyway.’

‘He’s right. You know how Effie likes things to look proper,’ Peter agreed, ‘and once she sees the state of mine, she’ll probably rewrap them too, so you might as well—’

‘Might as well what,’ a low, velvet-like voice said, capturing their attention and forcing it to the doorway where Sirius was standing. He was sans a coat, but his outfit was a mix of layers offset by the glint of silver jewellery and his shoulder-length locks, which appeared to shine, no doubt due to the snow that had quickly melted once inside.

‘How did you get in?’ James asked, watching as he swanned into the room. rolling over the side of the high-backed armchair until he was sprawled across it.

‘Well, I’m not going to loiter on the doorstep, am I?’ Sirius asked, grinning at his friend as though that was the obvious answer, ‘Besides, Euphemia would never allow it.’

‘Can’t have her favourite child catching a chill, eh James?’ Peter chuckled, nudging James, who forced a weak chuckle at their banter, though his annoyance had mounted slightly upon seeing Sirius.

And if his annoyance at being ignored over the past few weeks wasn’t already biting at him, the surprise of hearing the sound of another visitor calling Sirius’ name was enough to make him seethe.

‘Oh, don’t just stand there,’ Sirius said, gesturing for Regulus, his brother, to come into the room instead of remaining in the doorway looking unsure and out of place. He stayed put, surveying the room until his eyes locked on James’ before dropping to the floor.

‘What’s he doing here?’ James said, his jaw tight and his words even stiffer.

‘Staying for the holiday,’ Sirius said nonchalantly, far too busy counting the cigarettes in the pack he’d produced from his top pocket to notice how he was being stared at. It was why his expression became curious as he looked up and found James watching him, seemingly annoyed, which was a rather rare occurrence for his normally happy-go-lucky friend. Sirius sat up in his chair and said, ‘I did run it past your Mum…she said it was fine.’

‘I can go if you want,’ Regulus said, his arms folding in indignation. James watched him, and then, acutely aware that all the boys were watching him with curiosity, he forced a smile and gestured for him to come into the room as he said, ‘It’s fine. More the merrier and all that.’

It was a rocky start from there. Regulus accepted the invitation, taking a seat in the chair next to his brother, but he didn’t speak, opting to shrink back and remain out of the conversation as if he weren’t even there at all. And since it had been a while since they’d all hung out together, he wasn’t really missed. The four had gone from spending every day together at school to seeing each other when time permitted, which recently hadn’t been much. And as they spoke and chatted over another round of tea, toddled in by Bonnie the house-elf, James realised his annoyance wasn’t at being left out but rather missing his friend. And as he thought about it, he realised it wasn’t Sirius’ fault solely. Sure, he had been busy but so had James. He had a new woman in his life, and given the disaster his last one had turned out to be, this one he had been taking extra time to tend.

Hence why the topic of conversation steered that way as Remus asked, ‘So the new girl is coming today, right?’

‘Yeah,’ James said, ‘she’ll be here later.’

‘Isobel’s coming?’ Sirius asked.

‘Yeah,’ James said, ‘have to let her meet the parents sometime.’

‘Yeah, I guess,’ he replied quietly, ‘I just didn’t realise things were that serious I guess.’

‘I thought you were serious,’ Peter mused, earning a roll of the eyes from Sirius, though it seemed lacklustre. James didn’t even have time to ponder it because a small voice spoke from Sirius’ side, dark questioning eyes watching him as he asked, ‘Is Isobel your girlfriend?’

‘Yeah,’ James said.

‘I thought you and Lily—’

‘We broke up,’ James said curtly, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling he got whenever someone spoke the redhead's name. Regulus nodded.

‘Yeah, a year ago,’ Peter said, ‘besides, you and Isobel have been going out for some time now, right?’

‘Few months,’ James said.

‘Longer if you count all the time she spent hanging around your department,’ Peter mused.

‘About as much time as you spend hanging about our department, eh, Wormy,’ Sirius said tightly, making the other man’s smile dim quickly. Remus cleared his throat and grabbed another biscuit, turning all eyes on him as he asked, ‘So what’s the plan?’

‘All the usual stuff,’ James shrugged.

‘I expect Effie’s got everything planned to a T,’ Remus mused.

‘Think we could get in a game of Quidditch?’ Sirius asked.

‘Ooh, we could probably get a good three-on-three going,’ Peter said excitedly, ‘if Isobel and Regulus will play.’

‘Shouldn’t be a problem, right Reg?’ Sirius asked. Regulus looked at him and then at the others before he nodded tightly.

‘Great,’ Remus sighed.

‘Oh, don’t be so glum, Moony. It is Christmas after all,’ Sirius said. But as the pair of them got into talking about the excitement of the season, James watched as Regulus put his cup down on the end table beside him and then rose from his seat. Eyes flicked his way before going back to the conversation, accepting his mumbled, ‘toilet,’ as an acceptable excuse as he slipped from the room. He had barely been out of the room a minute before James stood too, garnering more attention than the previous departure, which he dismissed by saying, ‘I just realised I should probably show him where it is.’

He slipped out of the room, closing the door behind him, and headed down the corridor, yet he didn’t find Regulus anywhere. He could hear the elves in the kitchen and the sounds of movement in the drawing room, but down this end of the house it was quiet. He had even started to wonder if not being familiar with the house had meant that Regulus had gone upstairs in search of a lavatory, but his wondering was cut short as a downstairs bathroom door opened just ahead of him and Regulus slipped out.

He looked startled to find James lurking outside but recovered quickly, keeping his head high as he attempted to walk past him. James, however, caught him by the arm.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked harshly.

‘Using your loo. Or is that a crime now?’ Regulus asked with disdain.

‘You know what I mean,’ James said tightly, his eyes flicking up the hallway, not that his voice was loud enough to carry down the corridor.

‘Don’t ask me,’ Regulus said.

‘Well I am,’ James replied.

‘I’m here to enjoy Christmas,’ Regulus said sarcastically, finally realising his arm was still in James’ iron grip, which he promptly wrenched himself from, moving himself further away once he realised just how close they had been. James seemed to notice it too, the rush of cold air on his face now that Regulus was no longer close feeling sharper than he had expected, and painful enough he couldn’t help but breathe, ‘Reg—’

‘I’ve been staying with Sirius,’ Regulus said quietly.

‘Why?’ James asked, his brows knitting together worriedly.

‘What do you care?’ Regulus scoffed, rolling his eyes, but James just continued to watch him worriedly, whatever animosity he’d been feeling towards the boy melting just enough for Regulus to say, ‘I left. For good, if you must know.’

‘Better late than never I suppose,’ James quipped, ‘You should’ve said.’

‘Would it make a difference?’ Regulus asked, watching James as he pondered it and glanced guiltily at his shoes, ‘thought not.’

Using the silence, Regulus moved away from him, headed back up to the others, where the encounter was sure to be ignored, not talked about like every other moment they’d ever shared before now. Though as he heard James speak, he faltered.

‘You chose that remember,’ James said quietly, watching as the boy turned, his eyes dark and stormy. He didn’t say anything, but James watched him take a steadying breath before he turned around and headed away. James didn’t say anything; he didn’t know what to say. Instead, he slipped into the bathroom himself and willed himself not to fall apart.

✵✵✵

Isobel Rookwood had never had a Christmas away from home. If truth be told, she hadn’t really planned to spend this holiday season anywhere but her family home, but when her parents had informed her that they were going to be spending two weeks on the other side of the globe visiting her brother, she hadn’t had anywhere else to go. And so just like that she became another waif and stray to be collected by the Potters. And it wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend time with her boyfriend; their first holiday together was one she wanted to spend apart; no, it was nothing like that. It was just that it all felt too soon, too rushed. They’d only been together a few months, and now she was going to spend the next four days being paraded around the who’s who of the wizarding world as James Potter’s new beau.

And love him as she did, she couldn't shake this uncertain feeling inside her whenever she thought of the fixedness of it all. It was a feeling that grew as there was a knock on the door. James wouldn’t wait for her to answer, which filled her with nerves as she called, ‘Come in,’ to whoever it was lurking on the other side of the door. Fortunately, it was a familiar face, if one that made that feeling of uncertainty turn into butterflies.

‘Hi, James sent me up to see how you were getting on,’ Sirius said as he poked his head around the door before coming in and shutting it behind him, ‘Are you ready?’

‘Yeah, nearly done,’ Isobel said, making sure to pull a jumper from the pile in her suitcase upon seeing Sirius’ full Quidditch attire. She wasn’t a big fan of the game, but the boys had begged her to play the moment she had arrived, and so she had used unpacking as leverage to avoid it for as long as possible. Now her time was up, evidenced by the fact Sirius lingered by the door.

‘You don’t have to wait for me you know,’ she said quietly.

‘I know,’ he said, watching as she continued to unpack, his eyes like fire as they danced across her skin. Isobel tried to ignore him and the butterflies running rampant inside her.

‘I thought you were going home for Christmas,’ he said, a statement cloaked in a hint of accusation. It was true that was supposed to be the plan; it was the thing he’d clung to when he’d heard her mention it. Spending every day in an office with James rabbiting on about her had been torture enough, let alone spending four days in the same house.

‘I was,’ she said, swallowing thickly, ‘my parents have gone to Australia to visit my brother for a couple of weeks, and I couldn’t get the time off work, so I couldn’t go.’

‘So you’re not…’ Sirius said, his words fading as she looked up at him.

‘Not what?’ she asked.

‘I thought this might be…’ he said, going quiet again, which made her raise her brows in expectation, ‘getting serious… with James.’

‘Is that a surprise?’ she asked, ‘it’s been a few months after all.’

‘So he’s the one?’ Sirius asked, his gaze dropping to his feet as she looked at him, that feeling of uncertainty rife inside her.

‘I don’t believe in ones,’ she said, snapping his gaze up towards her. His eyes were dark and stormy, but full of hope, which made her heart squeeze heavily in her chest. Still, she stayed firm, the point they had danced around for months remaining the axis on which she was going to continue to move around, ‘I believe in telling people how you feel about them and not just sitting by…bowing out.’

‘I didn’t bow out,’ Sirius said, whatever upset he’d been feeling overcome by indignation. He leaned up from the wall he’d been resting against, coming towards her so that they were just a foot apart, but all she did was look at him, her green eyes begging him to go further as they always had. When he didn’t elaborate, she sighed, ‘Well, you didn’t exactly fight either.’

‘So using James was the answer?’ he rebutted, making her mouth fall into a scowl.

‘I am not using him,’ she snapped, ‘He asked me out, and I accepted. He’s a nice guy, and I like him a lot, and well-’

‘Well what?’ he asked, though he’d been through it a thousand times in his mind to know what she was going to say.

‘I asked you before we got in any deeper, and you-’

‘I didn’t say anything,’ he said.

‘Exactly,’ she sighed, her hand reaching out to touch his chest, stopping him from coming any closer, ‘you didn’t say anything to stop it. So don’t do this.’

‘I'm not,’ Sirius started, though he knew what he had been doing. He shouldn’t be up here. He’d tried his damndest to stay away from her, as hard as it had been, as it meant staying away from James too. He’d chosen to let her get away when he hadn’t needed to, and now he couldn’t help himself but want it, want her.

‘Don’t make trouble,’ Isobel warned, ‘not here, not to them. Not at Christmas.’

Sirius looked down at her and then at the hand keeping him at arm's length. He wanted to grab it and yank her towards him. He wanted to kiss her; James, Christmas, and Euphemia’s plans be damned. But she was right. He’d had his chance and he blew it; now he just needed to stay away from her, and so he nodded, ‘No trouble from me.’

✵✵✵

There was an uneasy tension when Isobel got down to the Quidditch pitch, a field adjoining the vast gardens of the Potter’s luxurious manor house, and it deepened as James pulled her into him the second she got close enough, kissing her temple. She didn’t dare look at Sirius but kept her gaze straight only to find his brother glaring at her. Isobel threw him a weak smile and looked away, her mind whirring at the possibility that Sirius had confided in the boy.

‘So,’ James said, as he bent down to undo the latch on the box of Quidditch balls, ‘I figured three on three. First team to say ten goals?’

‘Ten?’ Remus groaned as James handed him the uncharmed quaffle before pulling the rapidly twitching snitch from its snare and slipping it in his pocket before kicking the box shut, the two vibrating bludgers protesting as they fell out of view.

‘Yeah, some of us are actually good players Moony, so it won't take that long,’ James grinned.

‘Speaking of, how are we dividing the teams?’ Sirius asked.

‘Hadn’t thought,’ James shrugged, ‘what do you reckon?’

‘Well, I’m not very good,’ Isobel said meekly.

‘That makes two of us,’ Remus replied sympathetically.

‘In that case, how about me, Pete, and Moony vs. you, Reg, and Iz?’ Sirius said, her vow about not making trouble ringing in his ears. After all, it was easier not to make trouble when she was a pitch away.

‘No, I mean Reg,’ he said quickly, tripping over the nickname as he protested, ‘Regulus is a seeker, isn’t he? Isobel isn’t great at passing, so he wouldn’t be able to seek if we’re all on one team. How about me, you, and Isobel seeking? Regulus, Moony, and Pete?’

‘No offence, but I’ve seen Pettigrew play,’ Regulus sniped, earning himself a scowl from Peter, ‘if I’m going to have the self-confessed poor player, I want someone with skill too.’

‘It’s just a three-on-three,’ Remus said, rolling his eyes.

‘Fine, I’ll swap,’ Sirius said, feigning heartbreak at being placed opposite James. James watched him go, volunteering all too easily, which made those suspicions and upsets from yesterday creep into his mind once more. But there was no point arguing as Sirius stood staunchly beside his brother, the pair of them both so calm and collected that protesting the lineup of a measly Quidditch match would surely make him look insane.

‘Fine,’ James said as he kicked open the ball box, ‘but since the stakes are fair we might as well play properly.’

And with a flick of his wand, two bludgers flew into the air, and he strode off to pick his broom up from the rack nearby.

Regulus loved Quidditch. He always had, from the moment he had been taught how to, mainly because it meant he didn’t have to be inside that house. His gloomy, depressing house that smothered every inch of him. He could be free. Not only that, but it had also been one of the only times he and Sirius could play together, truly together, without their laughter or happiness being heard from a few rooms away and snuffed out. His parents wanted their children to learn so as not to show them up when they landed at school, but they had no interest in doing the schooling. It was probably for the best and probably the reason the Black brothers were incredible players, even when playing a small three-on-three match. They were three goals ahead and homing in on a fourth. In Regulus’ opinion, Remus was an okay player, but James’ reluctance to release the snitch until they’d managed to have some gameplay was a good idea, as it allowed Regulus to act as a chaser alongside his brother rather than a seeker full time.

Isobel, however, was not a good player. She could fly, he supposed, but she was textbook in her movements, her hands barely leaving the broom handle even if she did control it right. He was watching her, the pause he’d taken to look for the snitch James had just released leading him to watch her looking for it too. Then he found himself staring too long, wondering what it was James saw in her. He’d half expected her to be a redhead, fiery and determined like Lily had been, though looking at her now, her caramel hair half hid by a hat and scarf, he had to commend James. He certainly didn’t have a type. So what was it that lured him in? He’d learnt from Remus this morning at breakfast that they’d met at work. She had a job in the magical law office, which worked with their department quite a bit, and upon meeting him she’d then kept appearing, lingering like a bad smell he suspected.

Maybe she was nice, funny even. Maybe James’ heart had healed enough that the first person taking an interest, or at least the person in the nearest proximity, had appealed to him. Maybe they had a raft of things in common, Quidditch clearly not being one of them. Or maybe, he reasoned to himself, maybe when the time came, she actually chose him. Maybe she hadn't been too scared to put herself on the line. After all, what good had it done anyway? He’d left his family behind when it had come down to it, and now it was too late to go back. James had moved on. To this pretty blonde thing, a pretty blonde thing moving down the pitch at speed. Regulus looked ahead of her, seeing a glint of gold down by the goal posts. The others were down the other end of the pitch, and if he didn’t move she’d surely catch it, and so he zoomed down towards her. She startled as he arrived by her side, moving ahead of her as they both zigged and zagged after the ball taunting them. As it flew ahead he pushed on, but so did she, back towards the others who’d noticed their race for the snitch. As they got down to the halfway point of the pitch, she braved taking her hand off the broom, reaching it out as she pushed ahead. Her fingertips brushed against it gently before it moved out of reach. She tried again, grabbing her broom once more as it weaved left. It was on her side of the pitch; to reach he'd have to lean over her, which was getting harder to do as she pushed ahead of him. Regulus watched himself lag behind, her fingers inches from gold, and before he knew what he was doing, his own hand had reached out, yanking the bunch of stiff bristles with his left hand. The broom fell down, slipping from her grasp as she’d only had the one hand holding on.

And then everything went into slow motion. Regulus was still moving, watching as she fell towards the ground, desperately trying to hold on and regain control as he moved further away, unable to make his brain switch on to help. She was nearing the ground, the broom and her head surely going to splinter into pieces as they hit the frozen earth, but then she wasn’t falling; she was dangling from his brother’s hand as he flew low, decanting her onto the floor in a heap.

Isobel lay on the ground, the hand that had been reaching out for the snitch now twisted underneath her torso in a painful direction. She didn’t know how she’d gotten there; all she had felt was a hand on her back, holding her as she descended roughly onto the ground to make her contact with the floor come somewhat slower than before. In instinct she’d put her hands out as if she could push the ground away and stop the impact. For a moment it was quiet; the sounds of the boys hadn’t hit her yet, which meant she could lay there and assess the damage before chaos descended.

And descend it did. It started gently. Sirius was the first to land and fuss over here.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked as he knelt beside her, concern in his grey eyes as his hands hovered, unsure of where to look first.

‘Fine,’ she said weakly, ‘my wrist hurts.’

‘Lemme see,’ he said, taking her wrist gently in his hands as he looked at it. She hissed making him frown, but the pain was starting to kick in, as was the swelling, ‘anything else?’

‘No, just hit everything a bit rough, but that bent under me,’ she said.

‘I tried to drop you as gracefully as I could,’ he admitted, sorrow on his face, though it was far from his fault, and in fact, quite impressive he’d managed to get to her at all given the distance he was away. Though he must have been closer than James, who was only just touching down, the other boys were close behind him.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, dropping to his knees beside her, his hand on her cheek.

‘Fine,’ she nodded, ignoring the twinge in her wrist as Sirius dropped it, causing it to fall into her lap.

‘You could’ve been killed!’ he protested.

‘It’s fine,’ she lied, the severity of the situation dawning on her and making her feel queasy, ‘it was just an accident.’

‘What even happened?’ Sirius asked, ‘First you were up, then you were plummeting to the ground.’

‘We saw the snitch. Both tried to get it, but he got my broom instead. It just fell from under me,’ she said. She hadn’t seen what had happened, but she had felt the yank, the tugging of the broom sliding out from between her legs where she couldn’t catch it.

‘What?’ James said quietly, looking towards Regulus. He stood there watching further away from everyone and more ashen faced than she’d ever seen him, the Black family's pale complexion now looking gaunt instead of ethereal.

‘You did this?’ he asked, rising to his feet.

‘It was an accident,’ Regulus said weakly.

‘An accident!?’ he asked, striding towards him and grabbing him by the jumper, ‘you could've bloody killed her!’

‘James!’ Isobel squealed.

‘All for what? A bloody match? Couldn’t bear the thought of someone winning—'

‘Prongs, mate, come on, he didn’t mean it,’ Remus said, moving towards them, trying to get in between the pair, though their eyes never left each other. Isobel glanced at Sirius, half wondering why he wasn’t intervening, but his normal protectiveness over his younger sibling seemed all but gone. In fact, the way he was looking at James hinted at an agreement.

‘I got lost in the game,’ Regulus said, ‘you’re telling me you’ve never gotten caught up in the moment.’

James was about to respond, but Regulus’ eyes were watching him, boring into his face with a knowing look that sent flashes of all the moments he’d ever gotten caught in a moment back to him. The truth was James had often lost himself in a moment, lost himself in Regulus himself. With that he loosened his grip, shoving him away from him as he turned his attention back on Isobel. The group was rather silent as James helped her up, Sirius moving dutifully out of the way as the pair walked back towards the house.

‘Well, we better sort the stuff out,’ Remus said, but Sirius waved him off, his eyes on Regulus, who was picking up his broom, checking it hadn’t become too damaged when he’d thrown it down in haste, but he stopped when he felt his brother’s eyes on him.

‘We’ll sort it,’ Sirius said firmly. Regulus glared at him and watched as Remus and Peter nodded, sensing this was a family matter, and headed the way the others had gone.

Regulus didn’t give him time to speak, busying himself with levitating the remaining brooms into an orderly line that he started to walk back towards the garage. Sirius kicked the ball box open and flicked his wand to corral the outstanding equipment into their places. Once they were firmly locked away, he slammed it shut and levitated it behind him, storming after his brother.

‘What was that?’ Sirius said the moment they were in the safety of the garage.

‘Could ask you the same,’ Regulus scoffed, arranging the brooms in their holders.

‘Don’t look away and throw out pithy little remarks hoping I'm not going to follow you up,’ Sirius snapped, throwing the ball box down onto the shelf. 

‘It was an accident,’ Regulus lied, finally turning to face him.

‘You yanked her broom from under her,’ Sirius whispered harshly, ‘I watched you do it.’

‘I was going for the snitch,’ Regulus grunted.

‘Yeah?’ Sirius challenged, ‘because I’ve seen you play, that snitch was miles ahead of you there was no way you'd reach it from there. The only thing that would've helped was being Iz out the way.’

‘It was an accident,’ Regulus reiterated coolly.

‘Like when Narcissa fell down the stairs?’ Sirius challenged.

‘She tripped on the—’

‘Carpet? Yeah, I know,’ Sirius said, ‘but it was your magic that moved it.’

‘I was eight!’ Regulus scoffed.

‘And jealous and petty. Like you’re being now the only reason I don’t know why,’ Sirius said.

‘Because there isn’t a reason. I don’t even know her,’ Regulus said, rolling his eyes, ‘question is, why do you care about her so much?’

‘She’s James’ girlfriend. He’s family,’ Sirius lied.

‘Is that it?’ Regulus said, his eyebrow raising in a way that made Sirius’ fist clench by his side, old sibling rivalries bubbling inside him.

‘If you’ve got something to say. Say it,’ Sirius spat.

‘Oh, I’ve got nothing to say,’ Regulus smirked, moving towards him so that they were face to face, ‘but maybe stop flinging accusations about. Could get messy, and like you said, they’re family.’

Sirius clenched his jaw but said nothing, allowing Regulus to move past him and out through the garage door. Some Christmas this was turning out to be.

✵✵✵

‘James,’ Isobel sighed, watching as he shirked off his jumper huffily and threw it across the room at the washing basket. He’d been ranting the whole way back to the house, even dismissing his mother as she had called after them after catching a glance of them walking by the kitchen. He’d stomped off upstairs as if he couldn’t hear her leaving Isobel to shrug apologetically at her from the bottom of the stairs before she followed him.

‘Don’t tell me it’s fine,’ James huffed, pushing his rain-drizzled hair back out of his face, which made it stick up more than usual.

‘But it is fine,’ Isobel said. In all honesty, she didn’t know why he was so het up about the thing. Yes, it could’ve gone horribly wrong, but it hadn’t. And it had been an accident; she didn’t even know Regulus well enough to think of why it wouldn’t be. She just needed James to focus on the positives.

‘Look,’ she said, ignoring the twinge in her wrist as she ensnared her arms around his neck and forced him to look at her, ‘it could've been bad; I get that, but Regulus didn’t mean it, and Sirius caught me in time.’

‘I should’ve caught you,’ James said guilty.

‘Is that why you're so upset?’ she asked. When James didn’t answer, she sighed, ‘it happened so fast. Sirius was closer. If you could have helped, you would have. I know that.’

‘I could though. I wasn’t much further than Sirius; he just moved like lightning,’ James said. Suddenly the idea of Sirius soaring to her rescue and the memory of him holding her injured hand flooded her brain, and she started to feel as guilty as James looked.

‘We never know how we’re gonna react in those situations,’ she said, swallowing the lump in her throat, ‘you probably panicked because it was me. It doesn’t mean anything.’

‘Yeah,’ he said quietly, and she wasn’t sure if she had convinced him or herself of it.

‘Look, why don’t you go get me some ice? My wrist is still twinging,’ she said.

‘Okay,’ James nodded.

‘And then maybe you could run me a bath?’ she said, ‘get rid of the cold and wet and maybe put us in a better mood.’

‘Us?’ James said, a curl of a smile appearing on his lips.

‘Well, it's no fun bathing alone; besides, it's not like we can hide away. We’ve got dinner to attend,’ she smiled, pecking him on the lips before pushing him away. James beamed and headed to the door, closing it behind him and leaving her alone with her thoughts.

As she peeled her damp jumper off she thought about the look in Sirius’ eyes, the worry. And as much as she’d told him that she had no inclination of causing trouble and that if she wanted action, it was months ago when this had all begun, she couldn't help but like it.

✵✵✵

Dinner was a fairly excruciating affair. Euphemia was nothing if not a good host, and so the idea of tensions running rampant under her roof made her go into overdrive to make everyone feel good. Fortunately, her years of graciousness towards the boys had left them dutiful and respectful enough to let tensions peter out as they chatted around the dinner table, even if they all quickly headed to bed once they could safely escape. But Isobel’s tension didn’t disappear, keeping her awake all night as she thought about everything. It had been foolish to come here she supposed. To put temptation in her own path when Sirius had been so determined to keep her at arm’s length. But if truth be told, she did miss him.

She'd been his friend first. Their flats close enough that their journey to the ministry overlapped frequently enough for it to become noticeable. A smile turning to a hi. Two journeys becoming one. Her new role meant she was now in and out of his office. Their work together somehow turning to lunch. And then James. He just fit in somehow, on the periphery at first, but then she felt the shift. Sirius must’ve too, but he didn’t say anything. And then one lunch she’d invited him to go and see a new band play at a muggle pub in the east of London. Only he’d brought James, and Peter and Remus. He didn’t even say anything when he walked her to her front door. The next day James had asked her out, and rather pettily she’d said yes because she did like James. And when she’d asked, dancing around the subject like they were prone to do, Sirius had said nothing.

James had healed her broken heart unbeknownst to him. Sirius had pulled away, leaving her empty, but James helped fill that void, and she loved him; she did. But with Sirius there, around her, caring about her like he had today, it felt like a different thing altogether. Around three am she’d finally succumbed to sleep, and when she awoke, she was alone. Her eyes were tired; she’d definitely need some pepper-up potion to get through a party tonight, but her wrist was no longer hurting, which she supposed was a bonus. Though it was harder to focus alone. James’ aura filled a room, made her thoughts disappear just for a while, and he was missing. She got out of bed and got changed before going downstairs to investigate.

She didn’t dare go into the vast amount of rooms of the Potter's mansion. After all, she had only met them a day ago, and now without James around she felt rather awkward; she was just hoping to bump into Peter or Remus first. After yesterday she didn’t think seeing Sirius or Regulus for that matter would go down well.

When she wandered into the kitchen she was met by Euphemia, who was poring over a list on the counter, her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose that she looked over as Isobel came into the room, ‘Hi darling. Sleep okay?’

‘Great,’ Isobel lied, scoping the room and finding it was just them, ‘where’s James?’

‘He’s headed into town,’ she said, her attention dropping back to her list.

‘Oh, he, uh, he didn’t say,’ Isobel said.

‘My guess is he’s got a bit of last-minute shopping to do,’ Euphemia sighed.

‘For me you mean?’ she asked. Euphemia looked up worriedly, ‘oh please don’t mark it as a reflection on him sweetheart! Merlin knows he’s got a heart of gold but not much skill on the organisational front.’

‘That’s men in general,’ Isobel ribbed, ignoring the way the ‘heart of gold’ comment made her own squeeze in her chest.

‘Don’t worry! He took Sirius with him so I’m sure they can muster the brainpower between them,’ Euphemia said.

‘Just Sirius?’ Isobel said uneasily.

‘Yes, but don’t worry; the others are around somewhere,’ she said, packing up her notepad under her arm and pushing her glasses onto her head as she watched the girl, lost in her own thoughts, ‘unless you want to come with me?’

‘Where?’ Isobel asked.

‘The shelter down in town. It’s sorting donations, food, and the like for tomorrow,’ Euphemia said, her own charitable nature dropping into conversation without a second thought, proving that heart of gold was surely generational.

‘Yeah, go on then,’ Isobel said, hoping that doing at least one good deed today would help her stop feeling so uneasy.

✵✵✵

The shelter did help Isobel to clear her head, as did the manic nature of the house when she got back and found everyone rallying around to get the finishing touches ready for the Christmas Eve party. Caterers, decorators, and unfamiliar faces appeared at every avenue. Euphemia immediately took charge, descending into the chaos unfazed whilst Isobel slipped upstairs to James's room. She moved into the adjoining bathroom, slipping her jumper off as she flicked her wand to fill the bathtub. The water was thunderous against the porcelain, making it hard to hear anything, which was why she squealed as she felt a pair of arms encircle her waist.

‘Hi,’ James whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek as she straightened up, allowing him to rest his chin on her shoulder.

‘Hi,’ she said, placing her hands on the arms wrapped around her.

‘You’re back late,’ he said, ‘spending time with my mother too much fun, eh?’

‘I was abandoned,’ she mused, ‘I missed you. Your mother’s bounding enthusiasm made it feel as though you were never away.’

‘I had to be. Sirius needed me,’ James said.

‘Why?’ Isobel said, any tension she'd relieved bubbling back up inside her.

‘Christmas shopping,’ James replied.

‘Not yours then,’ she asked, moving herself out of his arms so that she was facing him. James grinned, ‘maybe, but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow before you find out. C'mon, let's get ready. If we don’t make it downstairs soon my mother will make sure we won't make it till tomorrow.’

✵✵✵

By the time Isobel and James appeared from their room, the chaos of downstairs seemed to have melted away. As they stood on the landing, they could hear low music and demure chatter waft up towards them rather than the clunking of furniture being arranged and the buzz of staff speaking to one another. They descended the stairs to the foyer where a couple of staff were loitering, awaiting the door to go or the fire to illuminate as someone floo’d in. Inside the living room, as arranged, Remus and Peter were sat waiting and chatting amicably by the roaring fire. James sank into an armchair and pulled Isobel to sit on his lap.

‘Where’s Padfoot?’ James asked, glancing at the door as if he expected the boy to walk straight in, the pair of them usually as late as one another.

‘Probably styling his hair within an inch of its life to get it to fall in a naturally chic way,’ Remus said.

‘Or debating how many buttons to unbutton to get just the right amount of allure for those middle-aged witches who have a thing for him,’ Peter added. James smirked. Isobel, however, felt a heat in her cheeks, not caused by the fire crackling beside her, and so slid from James’ lap, finding his hand capturing hers as she stood, ‘bathroom. Two ticks.’

James let her go and resumed conversation with the boys as she flitted towards the exit, though as she got outside the door she bumped into someone. Sirius. As predicted, he was dressed in a dark black dress shirt, buttoned so low that a glint of jewellery could be seen amongst pale flesh. Atop that he had a dark velvet blazer, which his hair danced along the collar of, tickling along his jawline.

‘Sorry,’ she breathed.

‘It’s okay,’ he smiled, bending down to grab the clutch bag she’d dropped upon collision, ‘here.’

‘Thanks,’ she said as he handed it back, their fingers brushing along one another’s for a brief moment, ‘everyone's in there.’

‘Right,’ Sirius nodded, far too happy where he was currently standing to bother heading to his friends. In the twelve hours since he’d seen her, he’d missed her more than in the months he’d been pushing her away, especially given all James had put him through trudging around the shops this morning.

‘I’m going to the toilet,’ she said firmly, though her feet didn’t move.

‘Okay,’ Sirius said. Isobel nodded, as if convincing herself, and then forced her feet to walk ahead, her heels clacking against the polished wood until he said, ‘Iz?’

Isobel turned to look at him despite herself.

‘You look really nice,’ he said, his smile sadder than it had been.

‘You too,’ Isobel said, her own matching his before she toddled off in search of a toilet. Sirius took a deep breath, but before he could walk into the living room, he heard someone clear their throat and turned to find Regulus watching him with a bemused expression on his face. Sirius scowled, ‘you’re late. They’re waiting for us.’

‘They’re waiting for you,’ Regulus corrected as he joined his brother, ‘none of them want me here.’

‘I wonder why. You’re such a delight,’ Sirius muttered, and before his brother could retaliate, he headed into the living room.

‘Finally,’ Remus sighed as the pair came in, loitering by the seating area instead of sitting down.

‘I know I’m starving,’ Peter said, rising from his seat quickly, as did the others.

‘Hang on, Isobel’s not here yet,’ James said.

‘We passed her as we came in. She’s just in the loo, right Sirius?’ Regulus said, watching his brother, who threw him a dirty look but recovered quickly to say, ‘yeah we can probably wait outside for her. Don’t suppose she’ll be long.’

‘Not too long I hope; otherwise most of the canapés will be gone at this rate,’ Peter said.

‘I hope they’ve got those little shrimp things they had last year,’ Remus said as the group meandered to the doorway. Isobel was just outside when they got there.

‘Oh, you’re all ready,’ she said.

‘Yeah, come on,’ James said, taking her hand and pulling her to him. Since yesterday he’d found himself doing that more often. Whether the incident of almost losing her had scared him or because every time he did it he felt Regulus’ eyes on him, he didn’t know. And if it was the latter, he didn’t know why he enjoyed that so much. Still he couldn’t help but lace his words scathingly as he added, ‘we’re already late. My mother will be having a stroke.’

At that, Regulus’ eyes turned steadily away, and he took rank with Remus and Peter, who were oblivious to all the goings-on and much more party or rather food orientated. Spying his chance, Sirius slipped in between the happy couple and the others, Regulus confirmation that he had heard everything between him and Isobel making him nervous. So much for a party atmosphere.

✵✵✵

If James had found his friend's behaviour over the past few months odd, he didn’t show it, not even when he was hit in the face with a complete one eighty of actions. Sirius stayed by his side all night. Of course they never really strayed from the group, the majority of people at the party being his parents friends rather than people their age, but even when they did spot someone they knew from school or work or had the opportunity to network, Sirius stayed by his side. He'd even gone to the loo at one point, and when he'd emerged from the bathroom, he found Sirius waiting outside patiently for him. Actually, it was quite like having Padfoot around, trailing behind him dutifully like man's best friend does. And because of it, Regulus seemed determined to keep his distance, which was fortunate. He was still angry with him. For the Quidditch thing. For coming here uninvited, by him at least. For stirring up all the feelings he’d long since stuffed inside of him.

It always struck him as odd that he was definitely the most emotionally healthy one of all his friends and yet he'd never managed to deal with this situation. It hurt too much. Coming to terms with himself only to be told it wasn't worth it had done a number on him, so had hurting Lily, who had been blindsided and yet the epitome of a good friend. She'd never exposed him; she’d never betrayed his confidence, even in all her hurt. Most of their friends understood it to be an amicable split when it was far from it. And now he was back in his life. He couldn't do that again. Not to someone else, so keeping his distance—that was the best plan all around.

However, keeping his distance and also sticking to Sirius like glue had meant one issue. He’d lost Isobel. He couldn’t spot her amongst the throng of people, and more importantly, he couldn’t spot Regulus. His mind started whirring.

‘Where’s Isobel?’ James said, scanning the crowd once more. Sirius looked around too.

‘I don’t know,’ he said, ‘toilet maybe?’

‘When did we last see her?’ James probed.

‘About five minutes ago?’ Sirius said, looking to his friend with concern, ‘why what's up?’

‘Nothing, just I’m gonna go look for her. Save her getting caught by some bore from transport or something,’ James said, causing an "Oi!’ to come from Peter, who was sat in a window nook beside them, chomping down his tenth canape, who happened to work in that department.

‘Sorry mate,’ James said without thought before he took off, snaking through the various gathered groups of partygoers.

He made it halfway across the vast ballroom, throwing out ‘excuse mes’ and ‘pardons’ every five seconds to get by, but before he could get to the door, he was stopped by his mother, who peeled herself away from the group of people she had been chatting to as she said, ‘There you are.’

‘Mum, I’ve not really got time—’ James protested, assuming he was about to be dragged into conversation, but his mother ignored him, moving her hand to his hair to flatten it, though he was half a foot taller than her at least. He pressed on, ‘I’m looking for Isobel.’

‘I’m sure I’ve just seen her head out to the hall,’ Euphemia said, ‘but that’s not why I want you.’

‘Why what is it?’ James asked knowing refusing anything his mother wanted him to do was no use.

‘Why don’t you take your friend with you?’ she said.

‘The boys are fine here,’ James said, glancing at the three of them huddled away in the corner, not engaging granted, but not causing trouble, which in their case was always a bonus.

‘I don’t mean them,’ Euphemia said, glancing to another corner where Regulus was sitting in another window nook, watching the world go by with the most passive of expressions as if he wasn’t even in the room.

‘He’s not hurting anyone,’ James said.

‘Oh I know, but this is a party darling,’ Euphemia said, still managing to fuss over his appearance as she dusted non-existent lint off his shoulder, ‘he doesn’t have to stay down here if he doesn’t want to. Just go and tell him that.’

‘He’s a grown-up,’ James said, his jaw tightening. ‘he can leave if he wants to.’

‘I doubt he knows he's allowed to. I expect he’s had manners drilled into him since he was able to listen,’ Euphemia said, looking on him with the same concerned sympathies she did Sirius,’ go on, just tell him. For me, and then you can find Isobel. Maybe he can help you.’

Fine,’ James grumbled.

With that, he peeled himself away from his mother and moved counterintuitively on his mission for Isobel towards where Regulus was sitting. He didn’t look up at him at first; his gaze burnt into a spot on the rug, but as his feet came into view, he looked up, looking somewhat surprised to see James being the one standing there. Regulus didn’t say anything. Given there were still people around, James didn’t dare start off in anything other than a neutral tone, though his words were a tad sarcastic as he asked, ‘have you never been to a party before?’

‘What?’ Regulus asked tightly.

‘I mean most people mingle or at least stand with their friends instead of moping in the corner. I mean, what about the Christmas spirit?’ James said.

‘What can I say? I’m not like most people,’ Regulus said, ‘besides I haven’t got any friends here. And I don’t feel very Christmassy.’

‘Pretend then,’ James said firmly.

‘Like how you pretend I’m not here,’ Regulus retorted.

‘Reg,’ James warned.

‘You know what? How about I help you with that?’ Regulus asked before he stood up and stormed past James, weaving expertly through the couple of people standing near them before he was out the door and into the foyer. James followed him immediately.

‘Reg,’ James whispered harshly as they moved through the foyer. From what he could tell there was no one around, but he couldn’t be sure, and so he moved fast, following him down the corridor as Regulus ignored him. Again he said, ‘just hang on.’

‘Don’t bother,’ Regulus sneered over his shoulder. A moment later he felt James’ hand on it, spinning him around. Regulus stepped back, boxing himself in against the wall as James sighed and said, ‘Look, I'm sorry, okay. Sorry, I've been a bit harsh whilst you’ve been here.’

‘Yeah right,’ Regulus said, rolling his eyes.

‘Can you blame me?’ James baulked. Regulus shifted, folding his arms across himself as if that would protect him from any harsh words that James might fling his way. They stood in silence for a moment, the buzz of the party just audible, the corridor cold and draughty even despite the proximity at which they were standing. James shifted, swallowing thickly but continuing on despite that. He’d been shoving everything down too long. He’d never gotten the chance to say what he wanted to, and given the way things were, it didn’t look as though that was going to be an option again, and so he bravely said, ‘I know I'm angry, but what did you expect? You chose this.’

‘Chose? You think I chose this?’ Regulus scoffed, ‘I had no choice.’

‘You chose to go back to them. You let the shame and disgust get to you. I left Lily for you, broke her heart, and then it was 'sorry I'm going back to my nutty mother so she’s not embarrassed of me',’ James said.

‘It’s more…’

‘Complicated?’ James finished, guilty grey eyes looking up at him, ‘it’s simple to me. I was ready to give you everything. A home, a life. I was going to blow up my life, hurt Lily, and risk losing Sirius, and that wasn’t enough. And they kicked you out anyway.’

‘They didn’t,’ Regulus admitted, ‘I left because you were right.’

‘Well, I'm glad you finally saw sense,’ James said, ‘but I'm with Isobel now. I’ve moved on. Isobel loves me.’

‘Does she?’ Regulus probed, the flashes of Sirius’ adoring gaze flashing in his mind.

‘Of course she does,’ James snapped, ‘and I love her.’

‘And you don’t love me?’ Regulus asked, moving forward and taking James's hand in his. James looked at it, his throat thick with tears.

‘I can’t,’ he whispered.

‘James, please,’ Regulus pleaded.

‘You hurt me too much Reggie,’ James whispered, ‘it’s too late… let’s just get through Christmas, yeah? Then we can just—'

‘Forget we exist? Until next Christmas? Or I bump into you and Sirius,’ Regulus said thickly, ‘or I get the invite for your wedding.’

‘At least I’m her first choice,’ James sighed, pulling his hand from Regulus’ and moving away. Regulus watched him walk up the corridor, tears gathering in his eyes. James brushed his away quickly, a sniffle relieving the lump formed in his throat by the time he got back to the foyer.

As he got there Sirius was just emerging from the ballroom looking harried, ‘where have you been? I thought you were looking for Iz?’

‘I was,’ James said, clearing his throat when his words came out uneven and thick.

‘I saw you leave with Reg,’ Sirius said, his curiosity evident even if he didn’t ask an outright question.

‘Yeah, Mum asked me to get him out from the moping corner,’ James said.

‘Where is he?’ Sirius asked.

‘Dunno,’ James lied.

‘You two didn’t talk about anything?’ he probed.

‘No, look mate, I don’t really give a fuck where your brother’s gone to suck the Christmas cheer from. I just wanna find Isobel and enjoy the party, yeah?’ James said, realising how harsh his words sounded when Sirius’ eyes widened. He recovered quickly, his suspicion about Regulus throwing him under the bus running wild, though it eased as he said, ‘I’ll help you,’ and James said nothing but nodded. Whatever had gone on between the pair of them hadn't involved Regulus’ suspicions, but it wouldn’t take long before he opened his mouth. And in that case, Sirius would have to find Isobel first.

✵✵✵

A party at the Potters' was perfectly lovely. Fine dining, nice music, and lovely company, not to mention the who's who of the wizarding world, which would always come in handy for those attempting to get ahead in pretty much any field they wanted. But for Isobel it was too overwhelming. And that wasn’t even the fault of the party itself. From Regulus glaring at her, James being all over her for no reason, and Sirius sticking to them like glue, the whole thing was just too much to bear, and so she’d slipped away, spending a long time in the upstairs bathroom, and when she had bothered to venture downstairs, she still hadn't gone back to the party, finding the kitchen packed with food and booze far more alluring.

She was sitting at the long counter, a plate of canapés and a glass of champagne beside her, watching the house-elves flit about continuously to make sure the party continued as planned. Too busy with the task at hand, they pretty much ignored her, which she was thankful for, as her head was spinning. So much so that she didn’t hear the opening of the kitchen door until there were a set of black boots in front of her, obscuring her eyeline from the stone floor. Sirius.

‘Hey,’ he said, as she looked up at him wide-eyed.

‘Hi,’ she breathed. Sirius looked around, quickly scouting that his brother was nowhere around but using that pretence to stay anyway, ‘have you seen Reg?’

‘No,’ she said quietly. Sirius nodded, and then he took a seat at the counter beside her, taking a sip of her glass of champagne. They watched one another quietly before Sirius said, ‘what are you doing in here?’

‘Hiding,’ Isobel said quietly.

‘From?’ he asked, picking at the pastry on a tartlet on the plate beside him until it crumbled onto the white ceramic.

‘I don’t know,’ she admitted, looking at him steadfastly. Her green eyes were uncertain and somewhat sad. It made him swallow thickly.

‘What about you?’ she asked.

‘Not important,’ he said, his brother a million miles away from his thoughts at the moment. After all, nothing had happened between them. If Regulus did decide to tell James anything, there’d be nothing to tell. She’d already told him she’d chosen James. All these feelings stirred up inside him were just his. Even if he wanted her to share them, which was probably why he said, ‘I missed you today.’

‘Sirius,’ she said quietly. He ignored her, words falling out of his mouth without thought.

‘Listening to James bang on about you. Reminded me why I’d been avoiding him. I knew he’d noticed, but it was hard listening to him talk about you at the office. Watching you come in and eventually end up at his desk,’ he admitted.

‘Sirius,’ she said again.

‘I know I had a chance and I let it go,’ he said, looking up at her instead of his now destroyed food. She was watching him sadly, though it didn’t look like pity, and that’s why he didn’t feel foolish asking, ‘if I said it now. If I tried again, would you give me a second chance?’

‘Sirius, I can’t hurt him,’ she said quietly, her hand on the back of his crumb-laden fingers.

‘You think I can?’ he asked. As a house-elf bustled past, claiming the empty champagne glass from between them, she seemed to come to her senses, brushing her hand across her face as she stood up and said, ‘I should go.’

‘Iz please,’ Sirius said, standing up too.

‘Sirius stop,’ she protested, but he didn’t, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her into the alcove.

They weren’t really concealed here, but it was out of the hustle and bustle of the main kitchen, with countertops housing appliances and gigantic fridges and freezers lining the wall. There he held her to him, his hand on her face. Isobel placed a hand on his chest to stop him, though she didn’t push him away like she could have, should have.

‘Sirius,’ she said thickly.

‘I don’t want to hurt him. But I can't watch you love him anymore; I should’ve said something, but I didn’t. But I'm saying it now. ‘Please let that be enough,’ he pleaded.

‘We can't,’ she whispered.

‘Then kiss me,’ he said, hastening to beg when her eyes went wide, ‘if I have to watch you and him, just give me one little thing. Just something. I mean, I can even conjure some mistletoe if you want-'

He was rambling, and then all of a sudden he wasn’t, his lips stalled by hers, his whole body pulled against hers, and she ensnared her arms around him. And given this was likely to be the only one he got; Sirius didn’t waste a moment of it. He would kiss her until he was blue in the face. Till he was starved of oxygen, because even collapsed, his brain was surely only to think of her. She consumed him, the way she had for months. He was making the most of it, which was why when the door opened, there was no denying what was going on. If he was on trial, his lawyer probably would’ve told him to plead guilty.

‘You have got to be fucking kidding me,’ Remus sighed, making them instantly pull apart. Isobel looked at him panicked, but he’d already held his hands up in defence, which made sense given Remus was angrier than she’d ever seen him.

‘Moony,’ Sirius said calmly.

‘What are you doing? Are you actually stupid?’ he continued.

‘Mate,’ Sirius retorted.

‘Don’t mate me! What about James, you know, your mate?’ Remus said.

‘It’s not—’ Isobel said, but Remus glared at her, rolling his eyes as he said, ‘Spare me the cliché. Actually, don’t even bother telling me what's going on because James is looking for you, so why don’t you save your sob story and go and find him before he comes in here and asks us why we’re all standing around?’

Isobel looked shocked at the firmness of the man, but Sirius knew this Remus; he’d only ever seen this Remus once, and that had been the last time he’d severely fucked up. But this didn’t feel like a fuck-up. She’d kissed him.

When the door clicked closed they looked at each other, daring the other to speak until Remus sighed and said, ‘Well?’

‘Mate don’t,’ Sirius sighed.

‘Don’t what? Call you out on this bollocks?’ Remus scoffed.

‘I know I’m stupid okay,’ Sirius said petulantly.

‘Do you?’ Remus baulked.

‘Yes!’ Sirius snapped, ‘I know I’m stupid to kiss her. I know I shouldn’t even like her, but I do. I have from the first moment we saw each other walking to work. From the moment she swanned into my office of all offices. And you know what? She liked me. She kept coming back for me. Begging for my attention! And that terrified me because I liked her. So I fucked it up like I always do. When James showed interest, I practically pushed her at him. No regard for what she wanted or me; I just tossed her like a grenade and blew up my life.

‘Pads,’ Remus said sympathetically. He almost looked as though he was going to put a reassuring hand on the boy's shoulder, but he pulled away, his eyes stinging and glossy.

‘And you know what?’ Sirius said, finally looking at Remus’ sympathetic face, ‘it worked. He loves her and I’m miserable. Have been since their first date, watching every bit of it. Even went with him this morning and found him looking at fucking rings…all ‘cause I was too chicken to just be honest.’

‘So now you’re blowing up his life too?’ Remus frowned.

‘No,’ Sirius sniffled, shaking his head, ‘course not.’

‘You kissed her,’ Remus reminded him.

‘I had to just once before,’ Sirius said thickly, the ring James had pointed out flashing in his mind. He’d nodded and made some agreeable comment before making his excuse to leave the room, the idea of an engagement making his stomach churn. Remus placed a hand on his shoulder.

‘You have to tell him,’ he said quietly.

‘No.’

‘Pads,’ Remus sighed.

‘He’ll hate me,’ Sirius said. Losing Isobel had been bad enough; he couldn’t lose James as well.

‘And when he finds out? Tomorrow or ten years from now, do you think he’s going to be more forgiving knowing you lied?’ Remus asked, ‘mate I know it's hard, but this is James we’re talking about. Even if he’s angry…he's understanding. You have to tell him.’

‘And if I don’t?’ Sirius mumbled.

‘It won't come to that,’ Remus affirmed, ‘you love him too much.’

Sirius sighed and then nodded, allowing the taller boy to put an arm around him, holding him together as they headed out of the kitchen and back to the party. And then, once they were out of sight, Regulus emerged from where he’d been listening. He hadn't anticipated anyone coming in this nook, the side of the refrigerator too cold and dusty for anyone to bother even if it was the perfect concealment spot. Now his head was spinning. For James to pick someone else was one thing. For him to pick someone who didn’t even love him was another. And if Sirius wasn’t going to tell him, he was. 

✵✵✵

The start to Christmas Day in the Potter household was a subdued one. Sirius and Isobel barely looked at one another, though he did share guilty looks with Remus. Regulus stayed quiet, the most he offered being a thank you to the Potters, who had bought him several gifts so that he wasn’t left as the only one with nothing to open. And if none of them knew any better, it felt as though James was trying to make them all crack under the strain. Even for an outrageously affectionate and caring man he was over the top, lavishing Isobel with gifts and never allowing her to stray from his touch for more than a few seconds. It made Regulus’ stomach churn with jealousy.

‘Well, that looks as though we’re about done,’ Fleamont said, surveying under the tree once more and finding it finally empty.

‘I swear there’s more every year,’ Euphemia said.

‘There is more every year. I should know; I sign the bank withdrawal slips,’ Fleamont teased as he took a seat beside her, his large hand encroaching on her smaller one as he did. Euphemia rolled her eyes as he said, ‘but I’d have it no other way.’

‘I should hope not,’ she said, kissing his cheek quickly.

‘Actually, there’s one more present,’ James said, diverting attention from the couple to him. He was sitting in an armchair, Isobel perched on his lap from where he’d pulled her to sit with him.

All eyes watched him shuffle, jiggling her as he reached a hand into his pyjama pants pocket to reach something out. Then he produced a small, square box-shaped present and offered it up to Isobel. Her eyes went wide, and for the first time all morning, she found her gaze flicking to Sirius. He looked away, his eyes staring at his sock-covered feet and then the pattern of the carpet below it. He could feel others’ eyes flick to him, but then they went right back to the couple. James was watching her, encouraging her to open it.

Isobel tore the paper off, revealing the velvet box to her. Her stomach was churning as her fingers felt for the seam and clicked it open.

‘Oh James, they're beautiful,’ she said, staring at the pair of diamond earrings that twinkled in the lamplight.

‘Do you like them?’ James smiled.

‘Course I do,’ she said, her nerves subsiding the moment she saw them, though the guilt didn’t ebb. The guilt of having him spend so much on her. The guilt of not deserving them, or the way that he cared about her. The guilt because of the surge of relief she had felt when it wasn’t a ring.

‘Come on then, show us,’ Fleamont said, gesturing for Isobel to show them. She turned the box outward, flashing the earrings to a sea of lukewarm faces. All apart from Euphemia, who said, ‘Oh, aren’t they lovely!’

‘Should be for all the dawdling I did picking them out. I think we looked at every piece of jewellery in the place,’ James smiled.

‘As any man should. It’s the thought that counts after all,’ Fleamont said before he stood up and said, ‘right. Now that we’re officially done, how about we get some breakfast?’

‘Sounds good to me,’ Peter said, clambering up from where he’d been sitting on the floor by the fire. James nudged Isobel to stand up and then followed behind his father towards the dining room. Euphemia, Remus, and Peter walked through too, chatting about their gifts. Sirius trailed behind, Regulus a step behind him, though as the others turned into the dining room, he yanked on his brother's sleeve, stopping him in his tracks. Sirius looked at him in confusion.

‘What happened to the ring?’ he asked, his voice urgent but low.

‘I don’t know. Wait, how do you know about the ring?’ Sirius asked, trying to rack his brain about when Regulus could’ve possibly heard about that. He’d only mentioned it to Remus, ‘you spied on me!?’

‘I was staying out of the way; it wasn’t my fault you decided to have your lovers—’

‘Will you shut up?!’ Sirius whispered furiously, checking the door to the dining room was still out of earshot. Regulus folded his arms across his chest, looking indignant at being chastised like a child.

‘You need to tell him,’ Regulus said simply.

‘This has nothing to do with you,’ Sirius said.

‘It’s not fair to him,’ Regulus said, ignoring the accusation. On the contrary, he saw this to be his business. Even if James didn’t want him, he couldn’t let them do this to him. Worse, he couldn’t watch him marry someone who didn’t truly love him.

‘Why do you even care?’ Sirius scoffed, ‘a few months ago you didn’t care for him or even me for that matter. Only since mother dearest kicked you out have you bothered about my life—

‘Maybe that’s because you were always too busy with him, your real brother, to notice me,’ Regulus said, ‘then again, if this is how you treat the people you supposedly care about, maybe I was better off. Tell him, or I will.

‘If you tell him I’ll never forgive you,’ Sirius said.

‘I don’t care,’ Regulus said firmly, and then he strutted past his brother into the dining room.

✵✵✵

Dinner was a tense affair. Sirius was seated next to his brother and yet barely spoke to him other than when absolutely necessary. Isobel kept glancing their way, her own contributions just as minimal even though the Potters took an interest in her, their opportunity to grill their son’s new beau not having arisen till now. And James kept looking at Regulus. He couldn’t help it. Every so often he’d look his way, unable to allow himself to be happy just being with Isobel on Christmas despite what he’d told him.

‘You go,’ Isobel said, still rifling through the makeup bag looking for something. They were only going for drinks downstairs, but there were guests, and so Euphemia insisted they dress up for the occasion. He adjusted his tie, glancing in the mirror in the hall on his way down before he headed down to the drawing room. The fire was crackling away to itself, illuminating the entire room in a warm, golden glow. And there by the drinks trolley was Regulus. He turned as James entered, the creak of the door meaning that he couldn’t escape back to the hall.

‘Evening,’ James said, clearing his throat and moving towards the drinks cabinet himself. Regulus watched him, eyes boring into his face as he fixed himself a scotch and then downed it in one before pouring another. James glanced his way before he took another sip.

‘You know a picture would last longer,’ he grit.

‘Don’t marry her,’ Regulus said, the words slipping out of his mouth before he could stop it. James looked at him wide-eyed before he said, ‘what are—’

‘I know about the ring, and I don’t know when, but please don’t marry her,’ Regulus pleaded.

‘How do you even know?’ James said before it dawned on him, ‘Sirius had no right to tell you about—’

‘If you’re marrying her because you’re angry at me, you don’t have to,’ Regulus implored.

‘I’m not doing anything for you. I’ve moved on Regulus. I’m happy, and if I want to marry Isobel, I will,’ James said indignantly, moving to sit on the couch just as the door opened, his parents filtering in. James didn’t look over at him, allowing him to blend into the background as his friends came down and his parents, family, and friends started to arrive.

But the thought never left his mind. He’d been in a tailspin since Regulus had arrived, and he’d barely been thinking when he’d picked the ring out at the jewellery shop. Because he did love Isobel. In the short amount of time they'd been together she had made him happy, or at least she had been the first thing to make him happy in a long time. And watching her chatting with Remus by the fire made him happy. It also made the ring box that was sitting in his pocket start to burn, and before he knew it, he was standing up.

‘You alright, mate?’ Sirius asked as he left their conversation, but James ignored him, moving towards her. Isobel and Remus looked towards him as he got near, expecting him to join the conversation, though he took her hand and pulled her towards him.

‘Fine, just something I wanted to ask Isobel,’ he said, pulling her to him.

‘James, what are you doing?’ she asked as he pulled her to the middle of the room. Almost everyone was looking at them now.

‘I wanted to say something. I was going to hang on, but watching you just now, I have to do it,’ James said, ‘Isobel I love you.’

‘James,’ she whispered as he pulled a small box from his pocket.

‘I know it’s not been very long, but you’ve made me so happy. Happier than I’ve been in a long time,’ he said.

‘Oh my,’ Euphemia said, clutching at her husband's arm as she watched the pair of them.

‘James, please,’ Isobel whispered, her eyes flicking to Sirius behind him, who was watching ashen faced.

‘Mate, maybe you should listen to her,’ Remus whispered, but James ignored him.

‘And I just wanted to ask you if you would—’

‘James stop!’ she said, clamping her hand around the box as he opened it. He looked at her confused, and she had to swallow to make her voice come out even though it was unsteady anyway, ‘I can't. I can't marry you.’

‘What?’ he asked.

‘I can’t,’ she whispered.

‘Why not? I know it's soon, but we're happy, right? You love me, and I love you, and—'

‘I kissed Sirius,’ she whispered. His words stopped, his hazel eyes watching her in disbelief for a second before his brain seemed to kick in as he whispered, ‘what?’

‘I k-kissed Sirius,’ she said.

‘No, I heard,’ James scoffed, ‘I just don’t understand.’

‘I can explain,’ Isobel started, but he’d already rounded on Sirius, who’d stood from his seat the moment he’d been outed.

‘You kissed her?’ James shouted.

‘Maybe we should leave,’ Euphemia said, though no eyes left the group, far too interested in the drama of it all.

‘It’s not that simple. I can explain, please,’ Sirius started.

‘Well, you either kissed her or you didn’t,’ James spat, ‘when?’

‘What?’ Sirius asked.

‘When did this happen?’ James asked, looking between them both expectantly. Isobel dropped her eyes to the floor, her sudden confidence at speaking up now absent, especially as James continued, ‘When?’

‘Last night,’ Sirius said.

‘Last night so,’ James said, his thoughts were coming too fast for him to say anything coherent, though his attention was caught by someone watching from behind Sirius, ‘Is this your doing?’

‘What?’ Regulus said as all eyes turned to land on him.

‘Is this something to do with you?’ James pressed, moving away from Isobel altogether, seething as he asked, ‘did you put him up to this?’

‘Of course not!’ Regulus snapped.

‘No, all that don’t marry her bollocks before!’ James shouted, ignoring his mother and father as they hurriedly tried to get their friends out the other door, an audible gasp escaping Euphemia's lips as he swore.

‘You told him not to marry her?’ Sirius asked, looking at Regulus.

‘I was right, wasn’t I?’ Regulus snapped.

‘So you knew?’ James baulked, ‘why didn’t you say so? You know what? Forget it.’

‘James, please,’ Isobel said, attempting to grab his hand as he started to storm past them, but he yanked it out of her hand.

‘Mate,’ Sirius said.

‘I’m not your mate,’ James snapped as he stormed from the room, shoving Regulus hard with his shoulder as he got in his way.

✵✵✵

The knocking had been incessant for a while, mostly Isobel, who had been begging him to open the door without any success. He hadn't been looking where he was going when he stormed out of the room; he just wanted to get out, to get away from them all. Isobel and her guilt. Sirius and his betrayal. Regulus and his concern despite being shouted at. He just needed to think, away from them all, and so he’d landed in his father’s study, somewhere, thankfully, with a lock.

Eventually, after mumbled discussions that were hard to make out through the door, though he was sure he could hear Remus acting as the voice of reason, outside went quiet. If only his brain would. He didn't know how long he’d been in here, thinking, but he was startled when he heard another knock at the door. He ignored it, but it came again.

‘Go away,’ James snapped when the knocker tried once more.

‘Darling, it’s me,’ his mother’s worried voice rang out from the other side of the wood, ‘open the door, sweetheart.’

‘I don’t want to see anyone,’ James replied, his voice becoming thick as he spoke, though he tried to keep it cordial for her. It wasn’t her fault after all.

‘Oh darling, at least let me put my eyes on you. Just so I know you’re alright. Everyone’s gone… it’s just me,’ Euphemia promised. James thought about it, and knowing his mother’s nature, both determined and caring, he knew there wasn’t much point in refusing her, and so he stood from where he’d been sitting on the floor, knees hugged to his chest and moved to open it.

‘There you are,’ she said with a sad smile. He dropped his gaze to the floor, knowing his eyes were red and blotchy. Euphemia pretended not to notice as she said, ‘are you okay sweetheart?’

‘Not really,’ James admitted, earning himself a sad sigh.

‘Maybe you should come out of there. Have something to eat or head to bed,’ Euphemia reasoned.

‘If it��s all the same to you, I think I want to be alone and… Isobel’s in my room,’ he mumbled.

‘Right,’ Euphemia said, cursing herself for not having realised, ‘do you want some tea or something? A bite to eat?’

‘No mum,’ James said, trying to fake a convincing tone and smile, ‘I’m fine. I promise.’

‘Me and your father are just a stone’s throw away if you need us,’ she promised, placing her hand on his cheek and patting it before she sighed and moved away, leaving him to shut the door behind her. He rested his head against it as he turned the lock, steadying his breathing into something that didn’t have a chance of devolving into another round of crying.

Eventually he pulled back and turned around, where he found Sirius now sat on the window bench, closing the window behind him as though he’d just climbed through. James folded his arms across his chest and glared, ‘I don’t want to talk to you.’

‘I know,’ Sirius said, pulling a cigarette from behind his ear and then his wand from his pocket to light it. James scoffed.

‘Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You just seem to do whatever you want these days anyway,’ James said.

‘That’s me,’ Sirius said, taking a long drag of his cigarette and looking at it between his fingers as he exhaled and added, ‘no thoughts, just actions.’

‘Am I supposed to disagree with you?’ James challenged.

‘No, but I'm hoping it’ll let me explain,’ Sirius said earnestly, looking at his best friend with pleading eyes. James had half a mind to tell him to stuff his explanation and throw him out on his ear, but this was Sirius. That was never going to happen. With a sigh he took a seat on the window bench beside him, staring across the room at the vast bookshelves full of old tomes and trinkets. They were quiet for a moment. Finally, James sighed.

‘Go on then. Go ahead and tell me how none of this is your fault,’ James said.

‘Oh, it’s one hundred percent my fault,’ Sirius said, glancing at the boy next to him who watched him silently, ‘because I watched it. I watched it all, and I did nothing to stop it.

‘What are you talking about?’ James muttered. Sirius looked at him pained.

‘I love her. Have done for a while. I didn’t mean it; we were just friends at first, but then it started being more than that, and I got scared. Remember the night we went to that pub?’ Sirius asked, placing his sagging cigarette into an ashtray on the table beside him.

‘Yeah,’ James frowned, his mind automatically running over the whole night trying to remember every inch of it.

‘It was supposed to be a date…just us two,’ Sirius said meekly.

‘But you said—’

‘You presumed it was a mates thing, and I didn’t say no. I saw an out,’ Sirius admitted, ‘because it was easy when it was just us…then it became real. Labels and that and-’

‘You pushed her away,’ James said, the dots connecting faster than ever. After all, hadn't that happened to him? He had been ready to give up everything for Regulus, who’d run at the first moment things got real.

‘Yeah,’ Sirius sighed.

‘What did she say?’ James asked.

‘We didn’t really talk about it. She told me you’d asked her out, putting the feelers out, but I lied and said I was happy for the pair of you,’ Sirus admitted.

‘That’s why you’ve been AWOL.’ James said, rolling his eyes.

‘It was hard… to see you with her,’ Sirius said.

‘Why?’ James scoffed, ‘sounds like she didn’t even like me anyway.’

‘That’s not true,’ Sirius said firmly. James looked at him sceptically.

‘I mean she agreed to go out with you. She can't have disliked you that much,’ Sirius reasoned.

‘She liked pissing you off probably,’ James muttered.

‘Okay, maybe initially, but she does love you,’ Sirius said, James scoffed, ‘it’s true!’

‘How do you figure?’ he asked.

‘Because… because she didn’t kiss me. I asked her to,’ Sirius said, dropping his gaze and taking another drag of his cigarette as a reason not to look his way. James said nothing, watching him closely when he finally met his eyes. Sirius sighed, ‘I didn’t realise how much I loved her till she showed up the other day. Pushing her away, I don’t know, it didn’t lessen it, but it took the sting out of it a bit. Then she was here, in my face, and it was unbearable. Then you... you bought the ring, and it was like my world stopped. I couldn’t say anything; I didn’t want to hurt you, but the thought of you two together forever… Having to see it, pretend forever... I just didn’t think—'

‘You could live knowing that was it?’ James asked. Sirius nodded.

Again silence fell. The pair of them stared out into the room, unspeaking, until finally James took the cigarette from Sirius’ fingers and took a long drag of it, smirking before he handed it back. Sirius took another toke himself.

‘So what now?’ James sighed.

‘Fuck knows,’ Sirius said.

‘I mean... do you want to be with her? Does she want to be with you?’ James said, taking a deep breath as he stumbled over the words. Sirius paused guiltily.

‘I know I do,’ he said, ‘selfish as it is…I don’t know about her.’

‘I suppose I better go and talk to her,’ James sighed, standing up. Sirius dabbed his cigarette out in the ashtray and stood too, watching as James trudged to the door.

‘Prongs,’ Sirius said, making the other boy turn, eyebrows raised expectantly, ‘after that you might want to speak to Regulus.'

‘Why?’ James asked, heart hammering in his chest.

‘Because pushing people away is kind of a family trait,’ Sirius said, his eyes watching James knowingly, ‘but that doesn’t stop us from caring…loving people.’

‘Sirius-’

‘You’re a good bloke. More forgiving than most, even when it’s not deserved…but you deserve to be happy too,’ Sirius said. James swallowed and then nodded before he slipped from the room.

✵✵✵

‘Well, that looks as though we’re about done,’ Fleamont said, surveying under the tree once more and finding it finally empty.

‘Actually, there’s one more,’ James said, pulling a small bag out from the crevice between his back and the couch cushions before leaning over the gap between the armchair and the couch to hand it over to Isobel. She took it from him with a smile.

‘Ooh,’ she said, unsticking the cellotape from where it had glued the top of the bag shut.

‘Yeah it’s just a little something,’ James said as she pulled a long flat box from inside, gliding her fingers along the crease until it opened up revealing a long golden chain with a small red pendant attached to it.

‘Oh James, it’s beautiful,’ she said, trailing her fingers along it as she looked at it with awe.

‘Let me see,’ Euphemia said as she got up to look. Isobel tilted the box so that she could see, as could the others who’d been straining to look.

‘Should I be concerned about you buying my wife jewellery?’ Sirius joked, looking at his mate with a smile. James rolled his eyes.

‘Well, people usually buy stuff for the baby instead of mum, so we thought it would be a nice gesture,’ James said.

‘And it’s a garnet,’ Regulus said from beside him, ‘the baby’s birthstone. Well, when she gets here.’

‘He,’ Sirius said, scowling at his brother.

‘I don’t know,’ Regulus mused, ‘I like to think you’ll have a girl just to picture the look on dear old father’s face when he realises the Black heir is a woman.’

‘Yeah well, he won't know about it from me,’ Sirius muttered, dropping to Harry, who had been sitting quietly on his lap before he’d started fussing, ‘I like to think his first grandchild having two dads would have already finished the old coot off.’

‘Sirius,’ Euphemia chastised, though there was a glint in her eye when she said it. Sirius smirked.

‘Well, whatever they think, it doesn’t matter,’ Isobel said firmly, ‘because we don’t them. This is our family.’

‘Yeah,’ James agreed, his hand slipping into Regulus’s. Sirius leaned his head against Isobel's knee, allowing her to stroke his hair gently as Harry stood up, smashing his tiny fists into his godfather’s face for attention. Sirius pulled his nephew towards him, littering kisses along plump cheeks. James’ heart swelled. It might not have been the easiest path to go down, but he wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

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