#<- and if not real world than watching media

[harrysfolklore]

yes do the lewis fic pleaseee

short and sweet bc i promised anon i would do ittt i hope you like it

You're fidgeting with your rings - his rings, actually, that you stole months ago - when Lewis notices your knee bouncing for the hundredth time. The arena feels too warm despite your backless Valentino.

"You're going to drill a hole through the floor, love," he murmurs, leaning close enough that his lips brush your ear. His hand finds yours, warm and steady.

"Easy for you to be calm," you whisper back. "You've won eight world championships."

"Seven," he corrects automatically, making you roll your eyes.

"The eighth was robbed and we all know it." It's an old argument, one that makes him smile every time. "Besides, this is different. This is-"

"This is you about to win Song of the Year," he finishes, so confident it makes your heart ache.

You turn to face him properly, taking in how unfairly good he looks in his suit. "How are you so sure?"

"Because," he says, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, "I was there when you wrote it at 3 AM on my kitchen floor. When you called me crying because the bridge wasn't right."

"You're biased," you argue, but you're smiling now. "You have to say that. It's in the boyfriend contract."

"Ah yes, the famous 'support your controversially young girlfriend' clause," he teases, and you can't help but laugh. It's become a running joke between you, how the media can't seem to get over your age gap.

"Speaking of which, did you see that headline yesterday? 'Grammy Nominee Spotted Looking Cozy with Elder Statesman of F1'?"

Lewis groans. "Elder statesman? I'm forty, not dead."

"Ancient," you declare solemnly. "Practically fossilized."

He's about to retort when Taylor Swift takes the stage, and suddenly you can't breathe again. Lewis must feel you tense because his hand tightens around yours.

"Hey," he says softly. "Whatever happens, you've already won. Seven nominations in your first year? That's unheard of."

"I just want-" you start, but then Taylor's speaking.

"Music tells our stories," she's saying. "And sometimes, a song comes along that captures something so real, so raw, that it changes how we see love itself..."

You feel Lewis shift beside you, and when you glance over, he's already watching you with that look - the one he gave you the first time you played him this song, the one that makes you feel invincible.

"And the Grammy goes to..." Taylor's smiling now, like she knows something. "'Birds of a feather!"

The world stops. Starts. Explodes.

Lewis is up first, pulling you into his arms before you can even process what's happening. "That's my girl," he whispers fiercely against your hair. "I told you, didn't I? I told you."

You're crying already, you can feel it, but you don't care. His hands cup your face and he's beaming at you with more pride than you've ever seen - more than after any pole position or race win.

"Go get your Grammy, superstar," he says, and then he's gently pushing you toward the aisle.

The walk to the stage feels infinite. You're aware of everything - the weight of your dress, the cameras following you, the deafening applause. But mostly, you're aware of Lewis in the front row, standing and clapping like he's watching the love of his life win Song of the Year at the Grammys (which, you suppose, he is).

"Oh god," you start, gripping the golden gramophone like a lifeline. "I wrote this song about falling in love. About meeting someone who changes everything when you least expect it."

You find his eyes in the crowd, and suddenly it's just the two of you.

"I should probably thank Formula 1 for canceling that race in Singapore, or I never would've been in that hotel bar, jetlagged and grumpy, when this absolutely ridiculous man in the most expensive hoodie I'd ever seen asked if he could buy me a drink."

The audience laughs, and Lewis is shaking his head, grinning that grin that still makes your knees weak.

"To Lewis - thank you for being the most unexpected plot twist of my life. For showing me that timing is everything, even when Twitter thinks our timing is inappropriate." More laughter. "For listening to every demo at 3 AM, for believing in me when I was just another girl with a piano and a dream..."

You're fully crying now, but so is he, so it's okay.

"For never once making me feel too young or too inexperienced, for teaching me that love doesn't follow anyone's timeline but its own. And yes, I know this speech is probably going viral for all the wrong reasons, but you taught me that sometimes the best stories are the ones nobody sees coming. I love you."

The camera cuts to Lewis, who's not even trying to hide his tears. But neither of you seem to care at the moment.

Later, after winning four out of your seven nominations, you're in the back of the car heading home. Your head's on his shoulder, Grammy in your lap, when he speaks.

"You know what this means, right?"

"Hmm?"

"Now I have to win the championship this year. Can't have you showing me up with all these trophies."

You laugh, snuggling closer. "Better get practicing then, old man."

"Menace," he mutters fondly, pressing a kiss to your hair.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

@dr-reids-fidget-toy#omg I didn’t know that about comic bucky that’s rlly cool

Starting a new post because I have off-topic Thoughts. Comic!Bucky contains fascinating commentary on the Cold War, WWII, and the media representations thereof. MCU!Bucky is (by necessity) pretty watered down. In the Brubaker comics, Bucky isn't brainwashed, at least not in the classic Marvel sense. He's just this guy who believes in the absolute rightness of his country, and has been in combat to support the U.S. since age ~14... and then he gets blown up by a missile, loses his memory, and Department X tells him "his country" is the USSR. So now he's the Winter Soldier. Nothing else about his personality or his politics changes. The Winter Soldier we see in the Brubaker comics is definitely a villain — he kills indiscriminately, kidnaps civilians to get his way, murders Rick Jones out of petty spite. But his personality is basically the same from childhood.

This is Steve remembering Bucky as a kid during WWII:

Brubaker retcons Bucky's role, from "kid sidekick who rushes in first and gets kidnapped, needing Captain America to rescue him," to "kid agent who infiltrates bases first, so that Captain America can follow him." With the memory loss, Bucky goes from slitting throats and setting off bombs for Uncle Sam, to doing it for Mother Russia. He's always been as cold and as willing to kill witnesses as he is as the Winter Soldier. It just never made the news reals.

And that's the other half of his retconned role: being propaganda for other child soldiers (e.g. Toro) who join up in his wake. This is Bucky and Steve watching a Cap and Bucky recruitment newsreel:

As an adult, the real difference isn't that Bucky is Soviet now; it's that he doesn't have Steve holding his leash anymore. To be clear, comic Winter Soldier also isn't free to come and go as he pleases — he's kept in a freezer between missions, he's probably not paid, he's in Department X — but he also has far more agency within the latitude of his orders. He's not dead-eyed and tortured by guilt like we see in the MCU. He goes on side quests to kill other Buckies. He argues constantly with Aleksander Lukin (the comic equivalent of Pierce). He complains about the inconvenience of not just sniping Steve in the head to steal the Tesseract.

Brubaker's point, throughout the comic, is that we have been lied to about World War II being "noble" or "good" or the story of the U.S. saving the day. And that that lie is used to prop up everything from U2 spy planes built with 100x the budget for education, to the Patriot Act nullifying the Fourth Amendment. Because not only is "WWII was a noble war fought without atrocities" nationalistic bullshit, but "Soviets are fundamentally different from us" is too. Bucky's continuity of character reveals both at once. He's a walking Soviet superweapon. Why? Because he was a walking American superweapon first, starting before he was old enough to shave.

Anyway, I get why the MCU had to change his backstory. You have to a) remind the audience who Bucky is, b) show-don't-tell why Steve is sad Bucky is trying to kill him, c) get across the idea that Bucky doesn't want to kill Steve but feels he has to, d) use Bucky to develop Steve's character, and e) set up a way for Bucky to get un-brainwashed. All within the span of ~30 minutes this movie has for this plot, amidst all the other plots. MCU!Bucky plaintively asking Pierce who Steve was, only to get slapped in the face, is sort of like AniTV!Tom constantly pawing at his ear: it quickly gets across that this character isn't acting under his own volition, in a way that minimizes audience confusion.

Plus: it's a Hollywood movie. It wouldn't get funded if it was too critical of the U.S. military. Movies are always, by definition, more conservative than other media because of their need for funding. And the MCU makes a decent effort to incorporate at least some criticism of the U.S., having Zola be involved in Operation Paperclip and having him (while working for the U.S.) order Howard Stark's murder. But a computer ghost reciting dry facts about the CIA recruiting Nazis doesn't have the same gut punch as watching the "good guys" send the literal child to knife his fellow child soldiers during WWII would have had.

[laura1633]

I had to write something after hearing Crane suggest Max wear a ball gag to the first press conference of the year. It's just something short and silly but here it is. (1281 words)

“Charles, quick here, help me with this!”

Charles makes a peculiar squeaking sound as he finds two hands on him dragging him away from the direction he was heading and down a corridor. The Monegasque is just about to start kicking and screaming when he realises that it is Max who is currently manhandling him. 

“We don’t have much time” Max holds something up in his hand. And Charles - , well Charles has to do a double take because -

“What the fuck is that?” Charles stares straight at the item. There’s no real need to ask what it is because it is quite clearly a ball gag. The real question is why Max is holding it up menacingly seconds before they head into a press conference. 

“I was talking to Seb,” Max appears a little frustrated at the delay Charles is causing by wanting an explanation, “and he said that if I really want to make a statement about these new rules then perhaps the best statement would be silence….”

“Seb said to wear a gag?” Charles raises an eyebrow as he gives Max a curious look. He supposes that does sound a little like something Seb would suggest.

“Well no not exactly,” Max’s lips curl upwards into a grin, “The gag was my idea. Good right?”

“You know you’ll probably end up in the stewards room for this?” Charles’ heart rate spikes as Max impatiently thrusts the ball gag into his hands. 

“I will end up in there anyway!” Max smirks, “May as well have some fun first.” 

Charles finds a lot of things fun. Hanging out with friends. Skiing. Hiking. Music. Something. Anything other than stepping out in front of the world’s media in bondage gear. Clearly him and Max have different ideas of what is considered fun. 

“Are you going to help me or am I going to have to do it myself?” Max huffs.

“I can help,” Charles tuts rather defensively. Of course he is capable of placing a gag into Max’s mouth and be completely normal about it.

Completely. Utterly. Normal. 

“Cool,” Max opens his mouth wide. Ready, waiting. 

And suddenly it doesn’t feel quite so funny because Charles’ hands are getting sweaty and his heart is about to break free from his ribcage. He doesn’t really have much choice though, he can’t exactly run away, so the Monegasque reaches out and tentatively places the ball gag directly into Max’s mouth and watches as the Dutchman wraps his lips around it.

It looks -, fuck it looks hotter than it has any right to. 

Max makes a soft humming sound of approval and turns around to let Charles fasten the back. 

This is absolutely not what Charles imagined he would be doing moments before the first press conference of what could be a pivotal season for him.  He has no idea how he is going to answer questions about Ferrari’s championship potential or the impact of the arrival of Lewis when he has Max sat next to him like this. 

Charles gets the gag properly fastened and is pretty pleased with his handiwork. It’s not too tight but it’s secure enough that it’s not going to fall out.

Max makes a muffled sound that goes immediately to Charles’ dick and the Monegasque tries his best to think unsexy thoughts. It’s bad enough Max is going in there with his mouth stuffed, Charles absolutely can not accompany him with a hard on.

“You ready to go?” Charles gets a gentle nod in return as Max rather dutifully follows him through to the room. 

And just as Charles had anticipated, the whole room erupts with noise. There’s raucous laughter and excitable chatter along with a few gasps and most significantly of all a blinding amount of flashing cameras. Within minutes there will be photos all over the internet of Max with his mouth held open and lips plush around the silicone ball.  

“Everything okay Max?”

Charles watches as Max gives the reporter a thumbs up and then slinks down on the couch casually. Like this is any other press conference. Like there isn’t the smallest amount of saliva already dripping from behind the gag. 

There is though. 

Charles is close enough to see it dripping around the sides. By the time they are done here Max will likely be drooling helplessly. Wet. Messy. Filthy. 

Fernando looks endlessly amused. Ollie looks shocked but then giggles along nervously. Charles is - , well in truth Charles is turned on.

“Max why don’t you tell us what you think your chances are of retaining your championship this year? 

Charles turns to his right and watches Max shrug and then make a ‘so-so’ action with his hand. It’s enough to earn him another round of laughter from everyone.  Everyone apart from Charles who has to force a smile on to his face. 

Max fidgets a little in his seat. Charles can’t help but wonder what the Dutchman is thinking, whether he is regretting it, whether he is enjoying it. 

The Dutchman tries to swallow down the spit that is clearly building in his mouth. Charles hears the wetness of it. Sees more drool starting to escape down the sides, glistening under the lights. Max doesn’t look embarrassed though, he is just staring out ahead. Charles isn’t sure he has ever seen someone look so submissive and dominant at the same time. Gagged but in control. 

“Max is this some kind of statement regarding the new rules and penalties?”

Charles tries not to groan as he hears Max make a murmured sound from behind his gag. It’s completely incomprehensible, obviously, but the helplessness of the sound makes Charles’ dick twitch.  Again everyone in the room chuckles. And once again Charles has to force a smile on his face whilst also discreetly trying to readjust himself so his semi is not quite so obvious. 

There must be other people finding this a turn on. Charles can’t be the only one. Except maybe its because Charles can hear Max trying to breath around the intrusion. Maybe its because he can hear the muffled sounds and the slurping of spit. Maybe it’s because he can see the stretch of the lips and the way Max’s throat muscles are contracting each time he swallows. Maybe its because Charles is the only one thinking about what else Max could be gagging around right now. 

Charles has no idea what answers he gives to any of the questions thrown his way. In fact Max is probably making a lot more sense than he is. The Monegasque jumps up the second he is allowed to leave and immediately turns his back to the audience of journalists so they can’t spot the rather obvious bulge in his pants. 

Max follows him closely out of the room and is quick to remove the gag. The Dutchman starts gently massaging lightly his own jaw and wiping the excess of drool up. His cheeks looked flush, red all along the cheekbones, his eyes are sparkling tough. Excitement. 

“I think you shocked them,” Charles tries to look normal about the whole thing, “I don’t know whether you are a genius or an idiot.” 

“Perhaps both,” Max shrugs. 

“I can’t believe you bought a ball gag just to wind them up,” Charles’ gaze drops to the gag, it’s soaking wet, “What the hell are you going to do with that now?”

Max laughs and shakes his head. 

“I didn’t buy this for them,” Max smirks as he meets Charles’ gaze, “I had it at home. It’s going straight back into my collection.”

Charles stares blankly as Max winks and then saunters off swinging his ball gag in his hand. 

[animentality]

I've always harboured a mild dislike for x reader stuff. I never really held it against people because I don't have the time to antagonise them, but it was so upsetting when every time I opened the fandom tag and all I saw were posts and posts and posts of bland x reader stuff that clearly is ooc with no real substance to them at all. So many of the RP blogs seem the same way.

As someone who tries to make analysis posts and art for the same fandom, it is disheartening when I spend hours and hours on an analysis post about a character and it maybe hits 120 notes while an OOC x reader of the same character soars to the thousands. Maybe it's selfish of me to say but I say it anyway.

The fandom is full of youngsters and I never felt comfortable voicing my opinion for the same because it just felt wrong to tell kids to stop existing in communities. But the amount of times I've been put down for shipping characters with each other rather than myself is an honestly surprising number.

Um. I don't really know where I was going with this.

But your post definitely opened my eyes a little bit on even why I dislike x reader so much. It's sinking in a little bit. My hatred for OOC stuff seeps into this, I suppose. So I wanted to say that. Yeah. I agree with you.

Thank you for saying it.

Signed,

A fellow analyser / artist / fanfic writer lmao

— @lunarcloak

I get you, man.

I know self shippers have always existed.

I don't mind them. If that's how you enjoy the media, then fine.

However.

I just don't think that the sudden rise of self shippers over fan analysis and shipping is a good sign.

I think it comes from a lack of media literacy and willingness to actually engage with a piece of fiction. At least shippers and fan analysts actually talk about the world and plot itself.

self shippers imagine themselves dating a character in an au that is completely disconnected from the story, and acting in a way that's not even close to how they are in canon.

which to me is like... you have a creative writing prompt but it's not a story you're actually engaging with. someone showed you a picture of a handsome man and said write a story about how he'd kiss you.

and it's like... ok. there's no crime in just being horny, but... when that's all a fandom is... I don't consider it a fandom, it's just a masturbation fantasy.

I thought the whole point of fiction was to dive into the human experience and try and understand ourselves better. See the perspectives of others. Live vicariously in another person's shoes.

Fan analysis about themes? Perfect. You're thinking. You're feeling. You're articulating. You're growing as a person as you decide what you like or don't like, or try to put together puzzle pieces so that the whole picture makes sense. Shipping? You're imagining scenarios. You're bending canon to fit your interests. You are developing your own ability to write characters, and growing as an artist and a writer.

But self shipping...?

Eh.

You're writing, I guess, but when you reduce yourself to just... idk, some generic girl that Gojo decides is the Bella to his Edward... I mean I'm glad you're happy and all.

But how happy are you

Are you happy at all, or are you frustrated by this aching loneliness deep in your gut that you just don't understand, and it never quite feels whole bc you keep cramming nothing into it.

And it's not the loneliness or the social awkwardness that I'm criticizing here ok, shippers and fan analysts can be just as lonely. I just think that the human relationship to art should be confusion and appreciation.

you should be trying to understand others or yourself.

you can insist well what's so wrong with escapism? why does everything have to be an intellectual exercise?

it doesn't have to be ... but there's a reason people feel so hollow watching marvel movies.

art without substance is consumption. it's a distraction from your own humanity, it is not anything more.

not to you, anyway.

and I don't know.

that's really sad.

I've made so many friends through ships and babbling about canon and gushing about narrative beats.

I feel like I got something out of fandom, if other people force me to see the world in another light. I feel like a story has done its job if it's made me feel something. and it's really done a great job if I feel invested enough to hope two characters smooch.

but self insert?

eh. so you just like the character and think they're hot. that's fine.

not that interesting to talk about either. requires very little analysis on your part.

they just provoke sexual feelings or romantic feelings , which are easiest for you to process, and then you can move on to the next pretty boy you can turn into a Dom.

it irks me, man.

just a tad bit.

[sillygoose067]

Dark Dick Grayson blurb inspired by an idea from @psychemochanight

--------------------------------------------------------------

Richard Grayson was a man of contradictions. To the world, he was Gotham’s darling, the golden son of Bruce Wayne, the one who had it all—looks, charm, talent, an effortless grace that made people gravitate toward him. He had never once been painted in a bad light, not by the media, not by the elite who whispered behind closed doors, not by the criminals who feared the name Wayne.

And that was exactly how he wanted it.

Richard played his role to perfection. He was the older brother who fussed over his siblings when they came home bruised, who smoothed his hair and adjusted his makeup every twenty minutes to ensure he looked impeccable, who spoke to cameras with the kind of warmth that made people believe he belonged in the spotlight. He was adored, untouchable.

No one ever looked too closely at him because no one ever needed to. He was already what they expected him to be.

But that was the trick, wasn’t it? The perfect lie. Because while the world saw an angel, Gotham’s underworld whispered about something else entirely—something they didn’t dare say out loud.

Nightwing.

No one had ever seen him for more than a few seconds. A ghost in the dark. A shadow in Gotham’s most hidden corners. Some didn’t even believe he was real. But those who had seen him, those who had felt his presence, knew better.

Because Richard Grayson was not just another vigilante. He was not like the other heroes who played by rules, who followed a code, who believed in mercy. Mercy was a luxury he had never been granted.

He had been a child when he first learned that truth, taken from his family and thrown into the grasp of something far worse than Gotham’s crime families. The Court of Owls had shaped him, not as a boy, but as a weapon. They had seen something in him that even Bruce had missed—a hunger, an emptiness, a mind that could be honed into something truly deadly. They had made him their Gray Son, their most prized creation.

But Richard had never been the obedient kind.

He had played their game. He had learned every lesson, mastered every technique, endured every trial they set before him. He had been their prodigy, their perfect assassin. And then, when they thought he was ready to serve, he had turned against them. He had torn them apart from the inside, burned their plans to the ground, made sure they would never touch him again.

The Court had underestimated him. Everyone always underestimated him.

Then there was Slade.

Deathstroke had been different. He had never tried to control Richard, never attempted to break him like the Court had. Slade had simply seen him for what he was and taught him how to be better. More precise. More lethal. More than just a weapon—an apex predator.

Slade had known that Richard wasn’t like Bruce. That he would never be satisfied with the illusion of justice. That he had the capacity for something darker, something Gotham had never faced before. He had taught Richard how to refine the violence inside him, how to wield it like a scalpel instead of a sledgehammer.

And Richard had learned.

When he returned to Gotham, when he slipped back into the role of Bruce Wayne’s perfect son, no one questioned it. He was still the same Richard Grayson, wasn’t he? The bright smile, the effortless charm, the one who lit up every room.

His friends and family never looked past the surface.

They never noticed how cold his hands were when no one was watching. How his smile never quite reached his eyes when he thought they weren’t paying attention. How he never seemed shaken by anything anymore.

Even Bruce, for all his paranoia, never quite asked what had happened in those years Richard had been gone.

None of them did.

And that was fine. It worked in Richard’s favor.

They didn’t need to know what lurked beneath the surface. They didn’t need to know about the times he let the hunger take over, when he found those who deserved to die and made sure they never saw the morning light.

They didn’t need to know about the blood on his hands.

They would never understand, anyway.

[maudie-duan]

Series Summary: Harry has been fighting to keep his relationship with Olivia afloat for nearly two years. At what point do you choose to either endure or let the strain of the world defeat his ambitious hopes of a lasting relationship? Or will a single night and a fleeting encounter be enough to change the projection of Harry’s path? Maybe our ‘Mystery Girl,’ Shiloh, will just happen to be in the right place at the right time. 

All Chapters Here <-

A/N: Shiloh and Harry are a little messy, but I think most of us are here for their bullshit, lol. Anywho...enjoy catching up with Shiloh.

Tag List: @howling-wolf97 @sassamanda77 @babegoalsreads @palmettogal508 @indierockgirrl

@lizsogolden @sexymfharriet @pologoonies

Word Count: 3.6K

Warning: Strong Language, Major Angst, Eventual Smut, Emotional.

I took your advice and became obsessed with my therapist. Maybe by the time you read this, enough time will have passed between us, and you’ll be able to forgive my previous idiocy.

Ps. I thought of you in the sun when I made this collection. I hope it brings you joy during your warm holidays.

All the love—H

I slid his note inside my phone case before leaving for New York. Now, he’ll be a secret I carry for miles, a tiny piece of him with me everywhere I go.

I guess I should clarify a few things. I, in fact, did kind of get back together with my Ex for the briefest of moments. In all honesty, it was just sex. The media chalked it up to way more than it needed to be, of course, and I got a few laughs along the way. It’s funny, even though it hadn’t been that long since we dated, a lot more of the press forgot about our past. The whole thing really put my life into perspective—it was a shit I’ve come a long way moment, and damn, life can humble you real quick.

I’ll openly admit that I did creep my Ex on Instagramz I needed to figure out where he was, and then I sent him a text pretending like I had no clue he was in South Africa, finishing up part three of a movie series I had never even watched. The question was simple:

Hey, are you still in California?

And boom, as soon as he messaged back, the door was open. He told me he was wrapping up a movie and was moving back to LA to start a series for HBO and that he would love to catch up. I just wanted to catch up with his dick because after Italy, I needed something easy, and we were still friendly, and I didn’t want to have to go through all the work of getting to know someone new, and yes, I know I don’t have to explain the details, but a lot has happened in the past six months.

It was strange hooking up with him again; a lot had changed between us, both in life and physically. I had forgotten how hot he was, tall and muscular; he couldn’t be further from Harry, but still, I was comparing the two, maybe looking back on it now, trying to fill a “Harry” void that no one else could fill.

For starters, my Ex is five inches taller. I found myself climbing his body in a manner I was too shy to act on in the past, constantly trying to push away the memory of how Harry and I fit, our bodies perfectly aligned, it would have been the perfect give and take, and there I was—laying there with my Ex, his dick buried deep inside me, yet I only thought of Harry, his face floating across my vision every time, seriously every time, it was pathetic.

It all started with my Ex wanting to see my new place and where I was planting roots. He said he had been keeping up with me, finding it effortless since I was becoming more “famous” than him, which was a joke; I thought we were at least reaching the same playing field.

The second he walked through the door, his stare was palpable, as if he knew exactly why he was there. When he bent at the waist to hug me, he wrapped me in strong arms, his big hands gripping me tight. He drew in a long breath, nestling his face into the crook of my neck, dragging a breath through his nose like he was pulling me in.

I thought of Harry the moment we locked lips, the photoshoot, that weighted breath that gave him away, a chased burst of desire that sent a tingle down my spine—and here was my ex, so familiar, and I knew it would be good. I wouldn’t have to guess at cues because he was already sending them, and when I said, “I’ll show you my room first,” and turned away, he circled his arms around my body and pressed his lips to my neck—Okay, so, it was mutual, and we would spend the next two months fucking like we were making up for old times.

It was all fast, we were both just horny. When he eventually told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious and needed to focus on work, his Aussie accent fell heavy, laced with nerves, a mournful look filling his brown eyes. I was more than happy to let him go; of course, I would miss the easy dick, but I guess I could try and put myself out there—I thought…

And then the photoshoot dropped, and what I thought would be a slow burn flipped my life upside down. I knew Harry’s fandom was loyal; I had my best friend, Annelise, to prove that.

The thing about it was that when they revealed a sneak peek, you couldn’t even see my face. They only saw my tattoos, my brown skin, and curly hair. I could have been anybody, but the one thing that sent them pecking away at their keyboards was a close-up of Harry’s hand on my hip, his fingers spread, gripping my flesh with a pang of obvious hunger, and there peeking through was the tattoo of the word ‘Honey’ inked into my skin—They loved that one the most—It only took them a couple of days to figure it out—Now, cue the flood of new followers.

But what got fans the most was that Harry recorded a new song specifically for that campaign. It give the world a sample of his upcoming album, and with this, he could have played it off as, you know, just fun, just fucking around in the studio, and that’s where the magic began, but then, he had to go and slip up.

An interviewer asked him about the photoshoot shortly after the buzz started swirling, then he had to go and blab his mouth—and this part truly threw me for a loop because I’ve watched many of the interviews he’s done in the past, and he’s usually good at skirting around questions, always inconspicuous—a poster board for Aquarius’s everywhere, always aloof in the many plans and projects he has in the works, and I applaud that…I do.

So when said interviewer asked, “So where did you draw inspiration for this new song?” He literally said:

“Hmmm…don’t know, really. My last trip to Italy was really memorable, and I remember doing that photoshoot and feeling really inspired afterward…” a corky, lopsided smile playing at his lips the entire time, an unmistakable shift in his mood. It was like he was recalling a pleasant memory of the past.

And let me tell you. I’ve watched this interview every night before bed for the last four months straight, no lie—Then someone clears their throat in the background of the video. Harry’s face drops ever so slightly like they’re bringing him back to the present, keeping him in line, and the way his eyes shift to the person off the screen, with that, Oh shit, kind of look on his face is so apparent it aches, then he attempts to play it off with one of those charming smiles, and he changes the subject in seconds, barely covering his ass, except he didn’t.

Because fuck, everyone was on my ass after that, shipping us even before he and Olivia had even officially split. It made me want to stay as far away from him as possible and be even more vigilant with what I said or how I reacted in front of the camera. It made me hate him and want him at the same time, and yes, I do want him. I always have, but look at where we are, and after that stupid drunk dial. I wanted him even more, to be able to pick up my phone and hear that fucking voice like velvet, the way it crept up my spine and wrapped itself around my insides like a warm hug.

The thing is…I’ve had full access to Harry this whole time. I could have picked up the phone and called him whenever I wanted, but I wanted to rid him from my system. Yet, it was nearly impossible. I thought maybe if I put myself out there, all of the “Harry noise” would die down, but it seemed to only make the fan more stir-crazy.

I guess I’m not free of blame if we’re being honest. After I shot that live with Timothee, I followed ‘Pleasing’ on Instagram, which I thought I could preface with me just being supportive; they did send me merch after all but on the other hand. I know Harry had to have sent them dilerabately, to get my attention, the handwritten note, not only did he create a new launch with me in mind. There was also a song floating around, one that was really good actually, and as I’m shoving my headphones into my ears right before the plane takes off, it’s the first song I play, and now ‘Daydreaming’ has become my theme song, and somehow I can’t even be mad about it.

New York would be fun. I was only there for a few days, and everything was already lined up. There would be more free time than business, and I wanted to fit in as much as possible because I had only been to New York once. This time, I could actually be part of the hustle and bustle of everything, or at least feel that way, having a purpose to be there. I also got to spend more time with Timothee.

The first day was the only business I had on my schedule. I had a guest appearance on The Howard Stern Show, which I was looking forward to. It wasn’t as painful as I thought, and although he did ask a shit ton of questions about Harry—I think I managed to sideline them easily—The only thing that tripped me up were his random questions about Timothee, and how Howard seemed to be unusually intrigued by him, becoming more interested by Timothee than me toward the end of the interview and I was his guest.

That night, I had dinner with Timothee and his family, and somehow, we managed not to be photographed, not a single picture floating around. I did get pictured with his sister the next day when she took me around the city, showing me all her favorite vintage/thrift shops scattered about, hooping on the subway, and filling our stomachs with junk food. Even though she grew up here, Pauline took on the role of a tourist, which was greatly appreciated.

That night, we hung out with T at his place, ordering takeout and binge-watching Sons of Anarchy, starting from season two because Timothee insisted it was the best season. He ended up explaining more of the show than necessary, which resulted in me missing more essential parts, so we turned the show off to turn on a movie.

When Pauline left part way through the movie, I took to the internet. I was trying to be polite and stay off my phone, but all night, I could feel my finger twitching to be on my screen. The cast of ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ was spotted landing in NYC yesterday, and I wanted to see if there were any new pictures of Harry out on the town.

This was the first time we had been in the same country, in the same town, since London, and the feeling of seeing his feet hit the pavement on a street I might have walked on only hours before had my heart racing every time I pick up my phone and typed in ‘Harry Styles’ on every platform that made my life easier to track him.

Yes, I think I’m obsessed, but I have a feeling it might be mutual.

“What is that look on your face?” T asks, smiling over at me. I’m sprawled across his sofa, Timothee on the floor with his back resting against the couch, and every time I shift my knee, it nudges the hollow space in the middle of his back.

“Nothing, I’m just—” I trail off because that clip of Harry acting dodgy toward Olivia at their Venice premiere is all over my feed, and the site of the two of them makes me fucking cringe.

The whole situation is odd. I’ve been keeping up with all the gossip, taking it with a grain of salt, but shit, a lot of it seems creditable, and it’s not a good look for either one of them, not that I’m judging by any means, but hell, I would not want to be either one of them right now or be stuck hanging around the other. Harry almost came off as childish, which kind of turned me off, and I wish I could call him up and be like, bro, what was your deal? But something tells me that would be embarrassing for both of us.

Timothee’s head falls back on my leg, and I shift my eyes from my phone to catch a yawn forming at his mouth. Then I yawn, reaching forward to tassel his curls, eliciting a soft smile as his eyes drift shut, and I fight the urge to caress his cheek.

As I pull away, he opens his eyes, and we both smile. “Did Flo text you?” he asks, slicing through the silence. Then, he stands to gather the dishes. “She said they’re having an afterparty tomorrow, and we should come.”

I force myself to lock my screen and focus on the conversation, “She called me, but I didn’t answer…”

“Oh, I bet that’s why she was calling—” he shouts from the kitchen.

I ponder this for a few seconds, thinking of all the possible outcomes of me showing up at their cast afterparty: First off, Harry will be there unless he doesn’t show, but wouldn’t that be highly unlikely?

I would be showing up with Timothee, and that might look weird. Harry and I are both single, and while he might be in close proximity to his Ex right now, they don’t seem to be interacting very much, but I can only see what everyone else sees. I’m sure I could ask Florance, but she’s not really a fan of either one of them right now. It seems like they were even lucky to get her there in the first place—The whole thing is one big shit show.

Plus, if I go, I want to be there to support Flo, not be another girl getting googly-eyed over Harry right now. He has had enough of that already. I mean, they must have known that was going to happen when they hired him. It was smart on their end, but damn, I really want to go, just to be in the same room as him, and I would be on my best behavior, not even giving him a single glance unless he was in my line of sight and by that, I wouldn’t be able to avoid him, and I could just think the heavens later.

I, for one, don’t want any chance of us being photographed together; I have no intention of stirring the pot unless my pot is getting stirred…

“We should go…” I smile, and then T matches my smile, and I feel like I know what he’s about to say.

“You just want to see Harry…” He laughs, lifting my legs to plop down onto the couch, and I scoot myself up, drawing my knees to my chest.

“I mean…I would be there to support my friend. I can’t help that he’ll just happen to be there…” And I know my smile is giving me away, but I’m just so excited to see him, just a glimpse, just to know that, yes, he was real, and that maybe I’ll see that look in his eye—the want, the need—even if it’s fleeting, it would be enough.

I need to know if this is real or if I’m so caught up in the rumor mill that maybe I’m starting to believe the chatter.

“Have you talked to him since that photoshoot?” he asks, and my heart drops, the memory causing a dull ache in the pit of my stomach. I haven’t told anyone about the drunk dial, not even my best friend. I didn’t want to tarnish Harry’s name for her.

I exhale, my lungs heavy with gloom, “Honestly…umm…he kind of drunk dialed me one night, like after the shoot…” And it’s spilling out of my mouth, and the thing about Timothee is that I trust him. He’s already trusted me with so much of his private life, so it feels safe and freeing at the same time.

“Okay…so you saw that note the other day, right?” I pick up my phone and pop the case off, the note falling in my lap. “That day when you read this…that was the first time I had heard from him since that night.”

“He called me after the photoshoot, I think…maybe the next day or the day after…I don’t know, I’ve been trying to forget about it, but he kind of confessed his feelings for me…”

Timothee sits up then, “Wait, what? I thought you didn’t know him?”

“I don’t—I guess…ummm…I mean it’s kind of hard to explain, I guess it’s like a feeling or something. I saw Harry at the Gucci Show, then the next day, we did that photoshoot, randomly, and there was just this crazy connection…”

He laughs, “No shit, dude, look at you both…” And I shake my head, smiling down at the note.

“It’s not like that…I mean, I’m sure it could be like that…but I think it’s more than that…?” I shrug my shoulders, shaking the thought from my head.

“It’s honestly so confusing, and that fucking photoshoot blow everything up…”

T shakes his head and laughs nervously, “Dude, it really did…”

“I think I get it, though… “ he says after a beat of silence. “It makes sense…your avoidance.”

My head falls back against the arm of the couch with a thud, and I force out a deep breath, “Is it that obvious?”

“No—definitely not, but I’ve been around you, and also, I could tell by the way you navigated that live the other day…you’re pretty good at that. It’s really shocking that you haven’t had media training.”

I laugh, “Yeah…it just seems like common sense…”

“But a lot of people don’t have that. I’ve had a lot of training. I feel like I was a lot more open in the past, but I feel like I’m getting better at leaving some stuff for me.” He explains.

“I’ve always liked your interviews…as long as you’re you at your core, then you’re golden. Those fans are always going to swoon over you.”

Timothee swallows, his adamapple bobbing, “Yeah…but sometimes you just want the right person to swoon over you…” Them his eyes flick to me, making my heart pick up, the comment hanging in air between us. What does that even mean?

He smiles, looking down at his hands, suddenly shy. “So..what do you want to do?” he asks, and when he looks back at me, there��s something contemplative about his gaze, like maybe he wants to say more, so I wait for him to continue, and when he swallows, his green eyes trained on me, for the first time I’m starting to second guess what this friendship might be because his face is so serious and when I say:

“I want to go…” I watch his chest deflate, a low exhale as he scoots forward on the couch cushion, and when he clasps his hands together and lets his head drop, I’m holding my breath, the sudden shift in his mood making me wonder if that was some sort of test.

Then he says, “I think you guys will be good together…” Oddly enough, it even sounds genuine and thoughtful. A smile spreads on his face, but it doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. When he looks away, pulling out his phone to end the conversation, the air is thick with questions, making me reconsider everything, like maybe Harry was just the push I needed to get myself back out there.

A/N: Hmmm...is Shiloh actually going to consider Timothee?

All Chapters Here <-

My Tiny Masterlist Here<-

[skitskatdacat63]

i know you are studying languages, how many do you speak/understand at like … i could get around here level fluency?

So, I've studied German, Russian, Latin and Japanese.

German is definitely my best, I started studying it probably about 8 years ago and have studied it for most of those years. I think it's just difficult to get fluent bcs it really depends on your teacher and environment. I think I could survive w it tho, I was pretty okay with it, and even improved, when I was in Austria and Germany. It's more of a confidence thing honestly. I think if I was there for more than a month, I'd definitely improve even more!

Russian is probably my second best, it's only been tho 2 years or so. I'm good at the basics, but I've not gotten any real world experience so :/ and my prof rn is so bad djkfkfl love her tho <3 I think I need to watch more Russian media like I do with German bcs that def helps. I think I'd be okay at getting around in a Russian speaking country, but mostly just basics.

I've forgotten most of my Japanese unfortunately ah :( but that was only like 2 years, and Latin is of course a dead language so there's not a lot of ways to apply it(but I'd like to get better with it)

[castielsprostate]

breaking the sign in two by how hard im tapping it

[variksel]

youtube ads becoming first one 5-second ad then two 5-second ads in a row or one 15-second ad then a million unskippable ads in the middle of videos instagram quietly inserting one ad in-between every 5 or 10 ig stories then 2 in-between 4 ig stories not to mention the new reel- and explore page ads. a quiet tumblr ad banner at the top of your dash then photo ads in-between posts then video ads then video ads in-between every 3 or 5 posts that play audio automatically while youre trying to read a textpost. the most popular, paid subscription, news apps adding ads between their articles, then in articles, then paywalling new articles further with a new "news +" subscription and putting ads in those as well. once every 15 tweets there being an ad, then every 5, then theres also an ad if you scroll to the replies. you cant look at tweets without logging in anymore, theres just no option for anon scrolling. facebook ai mining on instagram, facebook ai profiles hyping up ai generated photos im fucking going insane ai temu ads and gallery app ads and printer app ads and higher subscriptions while still seeing ads and i cant fucking do this anymore!!!!! its fucking shameless and worst of all its silent and nobody talks about how half the things we see anymore are fucking ads and we dont own a single thing we pay for and companies can just randomly raise their prices through the roof and nobody says anything about it

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[frobby]

i was thinking up an expanded chart for the manga gagverse and i was gonna exclude kyuushi (u know cuz of all the vampires running around shin yokohama) but then i remembered that kyuushi is actually the only manga here where iruma is canon it in

[dandeyrain]

i genuinely don't mean this in a like. condescending way. but reading people talk about how Confusing and Nonsensical and Overpacked boy and the heron is make me feel insane. every single plot point is clearly spelled out; frankly, one of my only critiques of the movie is that i wish they'd left some of it LESS clear. yes, the second half is rich in dreamlike fantasy, but the story never breaks its own rules, and before every major reveal in the fantasy world theres an extremely obvious explanation — almost too on the nose to even call it foreshadowing — from somebody. like i just don't understand how anybody finds it impossibly confusing and weird and bad to engage with

[onlyonekenobi]

..

[smartzelda]

Pouring one out for the fox-boy (Tails) enjoyers who also hate watching people take every excuse possible to depict him as a lil uwu baby boy who doesn't know anything about anything and is super naive and is team little brother when depicting him in canon/post canon settings

[scoriarose]

i love how much you love your snakes

I can't help but love them! They are just so precious. And honestly they are incredibly loving to me too! Sometimes the world seems so big and impossible, and I'm just one insignificant human among billions. But to my girls, I am their whole world. And every day they show me how much they love me. So I can never let them down. We are just a little multi-species family who loves each other very much!

Earlier today Scoria was playing in my blankets with me laying next to her, and she came over and wanted up on me. I put her on my chest and laid with her head over my heart. We just relaxed like that for an hour- I'm pretty sure she fell asleep for a bit because when I picked her up she did the biggest yawn ever.

Sakura is becoming a little sweetie pie too. She's very timid but usually snuggles me at least once a week now, and has gotten very good at staying calm while she's out. She's also gotten really good at target training! I'm proud of her progress. C:

I love my mommy and my sister thiiiiiis much. You can't see how much? Well that's cuz it's so big! We're inside it, it goes for miles and miles and miles!

You two are embarrassing. I'm not here. Don't look at me.

[leori-the-unlearned]

the way digimon does conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: chef’s kiss <3

the way sonic idw handles creating conflict/drama between two characters who should be or are close: *wilting flower*