#<— george the only guy to get his own tag but! just for the posts i make

[feketeribizli]

closest ill get to george russell y/nism (yuki and i are the same height)

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Daily fish fact #6 444 205

Fish!

The fish like to have a little drink :) Sadly as they drink the water around them they also drink their own pee, and that is the curse that they will have to live with for the rest of their life

#fish #fishfact #fish facts #fishblr #biology #zoology

( 2 notes )

🪼 clovergonads follow

Tasseled wobbegong women >>>>>>>>>>>

🐸 i-eat-skin follow

bitch those are goosefish

( 27,196 notes )

🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore follow

Say what you want about fishblr updates, but I think this format for reblubs is a wonderful improvement over the previous one. One of the only times staff did good.

🐚 seashell-on-the-seashore

@featherstar53 If reblub chains got too long, new reblubs would start appearing as darker and darker until you couldnt see the text anymore. It mimicked how light disappears as you go deeper in the ocean but the sunken code this webbedsite runs on never set a cap for how dark it gets, so eventually you would have to copy ad paste the text on the reblubs onto somewhere to read them.

🐍 swamplamprey follow

It sounds fake but it's true! You can still find some older fishblr post screenshots with this effect:

This even went for full abyssal mode users! In their case, the text would slowly turn from white to dark blue, effectively making it impossible to read against the black background.

🦞 fastest-claw-in-the-west follow

I think it would be super funny if they brought this back but for individual posts. Like the reblubs stay the same colour but the posts themselves get gradually and gradually darker until you can't see them anymore lol. It would be disastrous but also funny and it might finally stop some of you frys from being so addicted to this webbedsite

#im all for a bit of chaos lol #treasure trove: talking tag

( 730 notes )

🌿 invertlike-behaviour follow

Okay for the record. My eyes are Red because I'm a COMMON ROACH! RUTILUS RUTILUS! It's not because I smoke seaweed!

🌿 invertlike-behaviour

Okay Yes I smoke seaweed all day. But the specific reason my eyes are red is Not That

( 104 notes )

🦈 spiritually-placoderm follow

🫧 surgeonsturgeon follow

OP you forgot brackish water and the option for inhabiting both

🦈 spiritually-placoderm

Shut your inferior ass mouth up

🫧 surgeonsturgeon

#(i couldnt find the actual gif i wanted to use but this weird tiger shark will have to do) #(not sure why his fins look like that)

( 1,020 notes )

☀️ slenderfish follow

"ocean sunfish have over 40 parasite species" factoid actualy just statistical error. average ocean sunfish is infected with only one or two parasites. Parasites Georg, the mola who suffers from every ailment known to fish and has over 1 000 000 000 parasite species infesting his flesh and organs, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

( 193,239 notes)

🪷 trout-about-you follow

Selfieeeee :3 (ignore the two sea lampreys attached to my flesh)

🪲 toebiter follow

how did you take the picture you aren't holding your phone

🪷 trout-about-you

The sea lamprey on the left took it for me

( 58 notes )

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

FISH USED TO MIGRATE THOUSANDS OF MILES TO BREED. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!!!!

IN MY DAY PUSSFISH LIKE THIS WOULD GET EATEN ALIVE BY REAL RIVER MONSTERS FOR BREAKFAST.

🐟 darting-action follow

these are Siamese fighting fish bruh.... They don't have migration as part of their life cycle lmao

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

OF COURSE THE YOUTH CAN'T PUNCTUATE THEIR SENTENCES PROPERLY. I SHOULDN'T EXPECT SO MUCH FROM THE SOFT FRY THEY ARE. ALWAYS GETTING RILED UP!

🔲 skip-hopper-deactivated

Ignore this guy, @darting-action. He's well known for saying offensive nonsense like this, I think he's bait and trying to get someone to bite.

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

YOU MUST BE ONE OF THOSE INBRED DOMESTIC SCUM OR HATCHED YESTERDAY SINCE YOU ENTIRELY LACK THICK SCALES. I SPEAK THE TRUTH AND ONLY THE TRUTH. IF YOU GET TRIGGERED THEN THAT'S NATURAL SELECTION, SON. YOU SHOULD FIGHT ME IN REAL LIFE.

🔲 walrus-tits-in-my-mouth-deactivated

You really dont know a thing about natural selection, do you? Bettas have flashy fins because they have to seem threatening to possible competitors. They don't migrate so they aren't built for that. They're built for living in ponds and marshes, low oxygen environments, and by cod, they are built for fighting territorial battles! You shouldn't underestimate a fish literally called fighting fish. They're very tough and hardy fish and can even send larger fish fleeing!

🔲 salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated

SIAMESE FLAILING PUSSFISH HAVE LADY FINS BECAUSE THEY'RE WEAK AND SOFT AND HAD HUMANS DECIDE WHO THEY BREED WITH FOR THEM. THEIR QUOTE UNQUOTE "FIGHTING PROWESS" SURE DIDN'T SAVE THEM FROM BEING PRISSY LITTLE PRINCESS FISHIES FOR LITTLE KIDS DID IT? THE INDUBIDABLE FACT IS THAT THEY'RE MUSKIE FOOD.

🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated

Wait a minute... I recongize that picture on the right! That's from @betta-than-this 's OnlyFins! How did you get that picutre hmmm? Salmonidae? How on Ocean did you gain access huh?

🐠 betta-than-this follow

"Indubidable" is a pretty specific word to use. This you @salmonidae-supremacy-deactivated?

🔲 iknowthecrabbypattysecretformula-deactivated

LMAOOOOOO GOTTEMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🔲 aquarium-life-deactivated

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

🐟 darting-action

woag i never saw this entire chain before until it hit me on my dashboard. Why does this have so many notes

Thanks fishblr user walrus tits in my mouth for biology info i didn't know

🫖 burgle-the-turts follow

Woah woah woah we're just gonna ignore this guy using p*ssfish as an insult!!???? THE CATFISH SLUR????????? No one is going to bring this up!!!!!???????

🔲 tilapia11128-deactivated

does anyone in this thread smoke seaweed

🌊 herringageposts follow

date of origin: 28th of august, 2017

( 392,229 notes )

🟧 sponsored

Suffering all alone, handsome?

No need to anymore.

👄 pollywannacracker follow

Reblub with your favorite snack in the tags! I’ll go first: coral polyps! :}

🚬 shark-noir follow

@ninjalantern-999

#as for me #my fave is definitely my lower set of teeth when they shed #crumchy :D

( 295 notes )

🩸 must-lunge follow

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STUPID HUMAN DROPPED ITS ELECTRONIC CAMERA IN THE LAKE!!!!!!!! NEVER GETTING THAT BACK BUB!!!!!! I'M TELLING ALL MY ISOPOD AND MUSSEL FRIENDS AND THEY'RE GONNA LIVE INSIDE IT!!!!!

🧑 official-human-posts follow

ofishal human post

#ofishal human post #this post contains humans

( 891 notes )

🦦 hellofromtheotterslide follow

Wait, how come this site is called fishblr and not something like oceanblr or aquablr? Wouldn't that be more inclusive?

👑 goldielocks follow

I believe the name "fishblr" pays homage to the meaning of the word where just about everything in the water was considered a fish. It's why we have words like "shellfish", "whalefish", "jellyfish", "starfish".

Personally aquablr would work really well, too. There's a sizeable amphibious userbase on here.

🦐 worldwideshrimp follow

You forgot whale shark! Those arent fish either but are called fish

👑 goldielocks

....Whale sharks are fish. They are sharks. It's in the name.

🦎 eye-of-newt follow

But I thought it was a whale named after sharks? WHALE shark! Why else would they put whale up first?

👑 goldielocks

A whale named after a shark would be called a shark whale. You can take one look at a whale shark and see that, with its gills and fish tail, it is a shark.

⚪️ number1-seacucumber-ass-enjoyer-77 follow

Wait, then what about baby whales? Are those whales named after babies?

👑 goldielocks

If you're talking about the actual whale babies, then yeah. If you mean the mormyrids, small aquatic animals that can sense electricity, then no, those are fish. Sometimes names are inaccurate to what the animal really is.

🌌 themanta1234 follow

If you think about it, fishblr is also inclusive to aquatic tetrapods since they are lobe-fins, and therefore fish :D It's a term that can include everyone on here, the perfect catchall!

🦑 abyssal-gigantism follow

Ewwww fuck that definition. If mammals hear about them being fish on some sort of """"technicality"""" then this webbedsite is gonna get flooded with those self-important idiots! "OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOOOO LoOk At MeEeEeEeEEE i'M a MaMmAL!!11!!! I TAKE CARE of mah BAAABIEEEES!1111 I'm SUCH a good MAMAAA!!! All those OTHER STUPID HEARTLESS ANIMALS could NEVER do as I DO!!! I LOVE sweating into my BAABIEEEES' MOUTH1!1!1!111!!! I'm FLUFFY and AWSUM and ERRYBODDY LUUUVSSSSS MEE!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!! You should all LUV me TOO!!!!"

Is THAT how you want every fishblr post to look!!!!??????

🦛 drippohippo follow

😨

🪄 magicmanatee45 follow

DD:

🎼 humpbacked-musician-offishal follow

:'''((((

🐋 blainvilles-bitch follow

🕶️ egg-laying-mammal-of-action follow

:///////////

🐢 greenXD follow

i think jellyfish shouldn't be classified as fish because they're clearly living spaghetti

🌜 foolish-idol follow

Great fucking post everyone. Hit the air bubblers

( 60,376 notes )

🟩 ultrahyva-heihoi follow

Guys what the fuck kind of sponsors does fishblr have I just saw an ad for having parasites housed in me who are they advertising to 😭💀💀

#i swear the quality of this site keeps going down and down #if you see ads for parasites then report the shit out of em #fuck em my friend got early onset cataracts due to parasites

( 4 notes )

😃 doweopenandcloseourmouthtoday follow

Yes! :) :O :) :O :) :O :) :O

[bestedoesmeow]

NEW TO THIS₊ ⊹₊

social media au

pairing: toto wolff & y/nhorner

inspired by the request: '' can I request a continuation of the toto fic you posted about him dating Horner's daughter??''

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

in which you persuade toto to create his own instagram account

y/nhorner

liked by lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and other 34,321 people

life lately...doing nothing, only painting

view all comments

user45: there is no toto in your life lately?🥲

user65: dying to get more toto content PLSSSS

user78: beautiful😍

maxverstappen1: nice job🤌

⤵y/nhorner: made this in the motorhome proud of myself🤘

user09: well guys its been months and no signal from the two, I guess we only have mercedes to give us the toto content we need

user78: so natural😍😍

totowolff

liked by lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1, y/nhorner and other 432,123 other people

Hallo Instagram👋🏻 I am new to all this and also so excited!

view all comments

y/nhorner: you are toto-lly so welcome

user67: HOW CAN WE EVEN THANK TO Y/N? LIKE TOTO. WOLFF. CREATED AN ACCOUNT

user89: so freaking hot 🙏🏻🙏🏻

user00: now we are waiting for the girlfriend content

⤵user34: *gets blocked by horner

user87: the fact that he only follows Y/N and his team... not even lewis our george. I JUST CAN'T

christianhorner: like you really had to create one?

⤵ user01: if you have a problem change your fucking '' attitude''

⤵totowolff: yes.

totowolff

liked by mercedesamgf1, y/nhorner and other 567,312 other people

back when I was younger...

view all comments

y/nhorner: you are using your account just like how I thought you would...

⤵totowolff: like what?

⤵y/nhorner: like an uncle retired from the army and misses his youngster years

y/nhorner has added to their story

totowolff replied

: ich liebe dich

: so greatful to have you, even though I hate your father

y/nhorner

: I love you too

: wait till my father hears about this

totowolff

liked by mercedeamgf1 and other 789.234 other people

tagged: y/nhorner

my biggest support, love of my life... so glad we are in this together. ( she is supporting mercedes)

view all comments

user45: horner killing himself right away

y/nhorner: I LOVE YOU

user56: toto saw that tweet about him posting himself lmao

user45: THEY ARE SO CUTEEEE

[astonmartinii]

What about Charles just posting his girlfriend (Toto’s daughter) on her birthday, and he gets her like a bunch of expensive gifts and all the drivers make their own posts cause everyone really likes her?

birthday wishes | charles leclerc instagram au

pairing: charles leclerc x wolff!reader

it's grid princess y/n wolff's birthday - also known as an f1 national holiday

mercedesamgf1

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 721,078 others

tagged: yourusername

mercedesamgf1: did you hear? it's our own y/n wolff's birthday - an f1 national holiday (it's good to see she's always bothered everyone with a microphone)

view all 77,056 comments

yourusername awwwwwww thank yewwwww xx

susiewolff happy birthday baby xx

user44 why is the wolff family so fucking iconic

lewishamilton favourite wolff (don't fire me toto)

charles_leclerc <33333

yourusername added to their story

[caption: my lovely boy]

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 1,089,566 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: happy birthday to the love of my life, you make everyday worth living and make me the happiest i've ever been. there's no one i'd rather holiday with, argue about racing with and spoil than you xx

view all 104,561 comments

user34 omg i need a love like theirs

yourusername i love you so much pretty boy xx

georgerussell63 toto just fell to his knees in the factory

user77 lmaooooooooo

pierregasly my feet still hurt from these shopping trips

lewishamilton

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,223,457 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton: happy birthday little sister - another year of causing chaos and giving toto a heart attack every three working days

view all 81,756 comments

user89 i love their sibling relationship

mercedesamgf1 our favourites (and george)

yourusername awww love you lew xx

pierregasly

liked by yukitsunoda0511, yourusername and 541,234 others

tagged: yourusername

pierregasly: happy birthday to my favourite member of our weird triangle - please share the gifts charles got you i picked most of them out

view all 12,678 comments

user45 this weird platonic throuple is my favourite thing ever

yourusername i love you and thank you but stop kissing my bf

yukistunoda0511 happy birthday y/n !! BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CHEATED ON ME PIERRE ???

user66 the domestic in this comment section right now

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 611,203 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: happy birthday to my favourite drinking partner let’s never get so drunk that we get locked on the balcony and have to get charles to let us back in

view all 24,089 comments

yourusername you said we'd never bring that night up again (thank you for the gifts xx)

charles_leclerc keep bringing it up max cause i still haven't recovered from the jumpscare of you guys on the balcony on a random matress

user67 i love how y/n and charles brought charles and max back together defo an underrated friendship

alexalbon

liked by lilymunhe, yourusername and 112,098 others

tagged: yourusername

alexalbon: happy birthday to the only one the albon pets actually likes !! hope you enjoyed the mouse horsey caught for you

view all 9,876 comments

yourusername it was my favourite gift obvs xx

charles_leclerc i literally brought you everything you ever mentioned wanting

yourusername horsey committed a federal crime for me sharl

georgerussell63 you're telling me they never loved me ???

alexalbon they tolerated you

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 321,086 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: haps baps to my dj mom and the only person as bad as me at putting furniture together enjoy the ikea cabinet i got you

view all 14,359 comments

user321 that stream of them trying to put the most simple thing from ikea together was the funniest thing i've ever seen

yourusername thank you so much lando (that's not coming out of the box until dad visits)

user459 of course she was the one teaching him to dj

martingarrix am i joke to you?

mickschumacher

liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton and 439,667 others

tagged: yourusername

mickschumacher: happiest of birthdays to my travel partner - thank you for always looking after my passport and i hope you enjoy the holiday i managed to book without your help for once !!

view all 14,501 comments

user78 omg the return of mick and y/n travel vlogs???

yourusername i'm so so excited mickey thank yeww

charles_leclerc pls don't steal her for long

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 607,893 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: happy birthday champ - now i'm on permenant off season should we actually go on man v food??

view all 17,893 comments

yourusername i'm so down for that

charles_leclerc easy for you to say you don't have to deal with you being sick in the car

danielricciardo lmao not my problem

yourusername

liked by f1, charles_leclerc and 2,093,144 others

yourusername: thank you all for making this birthday the best one yet + i love you so much charlie thank you for everything xx

note: thank you for the request lovely hope you liked it xx

[landoslvr]

MRS CLARKEY | g. clarke

summary: a scroll through your internet presence as 'mrs clarkey'. [social media AU.]

pairing: fem!reader x george clarke

faceclaim: steph hui

notes: first piece for mrs george out of the wag universe. steph is gonna be the main fc I use for mrs clarkey, hopefully you like it! this is the longest one I've done so far.. definitely want to do a fic for their first meeting and for the useless hotline podcast- maybe even the ski trip!

liked by user, user and 37,923 others

yourinstagram happy halloween 💋💋

view all 281 comments

user you're literally so hot y/n

user I want to be you so bad

user how can I look like that

user jeez u flexible or something baby?

user the dress? the hair? the makeup??? unreal

yourinstagram thank you!! I did it myself xxx

user shes godly

user have fun tonight!!

user she's the only girl I know to have an impromptu photoshoot and then go out drinking

yourinstagram gotta take the outfit for a spin!!!

liked by chrismd10, arthurtv and 58,283 others

georgeclarkeey you should've seen the other guy!

view all 198 comments

user george wth

user its the vomit on the cheerleading outfit for me

chrismd10 looking good mate

wroetoshaw nice eyebrow....... eyebrow singular

georgeclarkeey yes I got that thank you

user AS IF Y/N FOUND HIM ON HER NIGHT OUT

user I KNOW!! I came from her tweets after everyone tagging this guy

chrismd10 you getting referred to as 'this guy' on your own post is so funny to me

georgeclarkeey well, you're huge aren't you?

imallexx loving the new look mate

user waiting for y/n to join the comments 🫣

user me too 😶😶

yourinstagram its great to know what you look like with both of your eyebrows george! a pleasure to have met you, despite the circumstances...

georgeclarkeey my left eyebrow was too intimidated by seeing betty boop in the flesh it ran away!

user my heart 😭

liked by georgeclarkeey, max_balegde and 37,192 others

yourinstagram went on the useless hotline podcast this week to talk about me saving the george clarke! thank you very much for having me boys 🤍

view all 302 comments

user she's just so pretty

user as if model queen y/n saved youtuber george clarke 😭 not over that at all

georgeclarkeey always a pleasure, you're welcome back anytime you feel like scraping me off of the pavement

yourinstagram anytime you need me, I'll be there to call the ambulance

user LOVE that coat

georgeclarkeey also feeling something.. or someone.. is missing from this post?

yourinstagram idk what you want from me here clarke

max_balegde ahhhhhh!!!!!! such a pleasure to meet the woman that singlehandedly saved my co-host from death <3 thanks so much for coming on, martini besties for life now

yourinstagram call me anytime you need multiple olives!!!

max_balegde three olives, extra dry!!

user stop I hope they all stay friends 😭

liked by georgeclarkeey, chrismd10 and 39,219 others

yourinstagram casual 'saved your life/face' dinner post

view all 331 comments

user nahhhhhhhhh because this is a date

user y/n looks so good 😭😭

user lets not ignore George Clarke wearing something other than a t-shirt

chrismd10 impressed you managed to get him in slacks!

georgeclarkeey your mum brought them for me

user THAT DRESS

user I just wanna be you y/n

user George has major cake its not funny

max_balegde literally should be criminal

georgeclarkeey you saved my life I am eternally grateful

yourinstagram 👽👽👽

liked by georgeclarkeey, chrismd10 and 40,938 others

yourinstagram visiting the mountain tops with some new friends x

view all 370 comments

user bitch we know that's george clarkey, fess up

max_balegde the love of my life really tbh, you look sooooo good

yourinstagram max I'll cry

user drop the link for the jackets!!

user that is george clarke's watch missy

user so you just so happen to be on a ski trip at the same time at george and his friends?????????? coincidence? I think NOT

user I know george is using ever fibre of his being not to comment on this right now

liked by yourinstagrm, miniminter and 59,902 others

georgeclarkeey there's 'snow' way it's this cold in the mountains

view all 286 comments

user Y/N TAKE OF THE SKI MASK COWARD

user we literally know it's her

chrismd10 handsome fellas

user literally just tell us you're dating guys

wroetoshaw high altitude my friend

user love these pics of the boys together

arthurtv distinguished skiers and snowboarders

charliehutchens really good ones too

user do you think y/n had to throw her phone out of her hotel room to stop herself from commenting?

user yes, yes I do

liked by georgeclarkeey, wroetoshaw and 37,981 others

yourinstagram out and about ✈️🗺️

view all 320 comments

user should we tell y/n that she posted a picture of George in the 4th slide and then proceeded to cut his head out of the 6th one????

user let her live in peace I guess

user wow no one is immune to stupidity these days 😭

user can't believe they took her so young

georgeclarkeey you're not getting that poster back

yourinstagram if you dont return my harry styles poster I will sue

georgeclarkeey I live with a lawyer, so good luck with that darling

user DARLING???? LITERALLY JUST PUNCH ME IN THE FACE NEXT TIME GEORGE

liked by yourinstagram, stephentries and 61,192 others

georgeclarkeey chris informed us that you all know we're dating so no more discreet photo dumps I guess?

view all 401 comments

user WAR IS OVERRRRRR

user quick everyone act like we didn't see this shit coming

user the way he tried to do her dirty in the last 3 pics but he literally can't

user she's just so pretty

user I wanna be her

max_balegde mrs clarkey!!!!!!

yourinstagram !!!!!

chrismd10 you're so welcome mate

user she's so gorgeous

user kills me

user george x y/n girlies won today

yourinstagram 🤍🤍🤍 love you big stupid idiot 🤍🤍🤍 once I posted the invisalign it was over..

georgeclarkeey guys gotta eat

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurfhill and 43,938 others

yourinstagram casual 'I can finally post my boyfriend' post!!!!

view all 493 comments

user guys I love today

user this makes me so happy

chrismd10 the power of drunken lime bike rides!

yourinstagram thank you lime bikes

user the alien picture kills me

max_balegde can't wait to have you back on the pod as mrs clarkey

yourinstagram a promotion, for me???

user george is so cute, I envy y/n!

arthurtv it's about time tbh

user I've been waiting for this one

georgeclarkeey was worth losing half of an eyebrow I guess

yourinstagram maybe the eyebrows were the friends we made along the way?

[leclerc-s]

she's married you idiots!

series masterlist

isabella perez mae, i wasn't aware you and max had gotten a divorce and you were now dating barry keoghan.

mae jones-verstappen oh my god who started it this time??

oscar piastri tmz

zoya torres and fans are definitely helping troll the others who think mae is dating barry.

max jones-verstappen why are they calling him bath water guy and grave guy??

oscar piastri as someone who watched the movie with his girlfriend for the "vine" trust me when i say you don't want to know.

lando norris you do not want to watch that movie, trust me.

isabella perez so that's a negative on you and barry?

max jones-verstappen i hope you get fired. mae jones-verstappen we had dinner, as friends, a while back, but max was with us. which is something tmz kindly left out.

logan sargeant i fucking hate tmz

arthur leclerc is this because they said zoya was dating louis? logan sargeant shut the fuck up?

pierre gasly i think charles is the only one who is safe from dating rumors.

natalia ruiz because the people love him and the italians lose their shit anytime someone implies charles is dating someone.

charles leclerc and they send natalia many dms asking her if we're over so that they can make a move on me.

arthur leclerc i am safe too.

dulce perez up until three months ago, everyone thought i was dating robert. not you. trust me, you are not safe.

rhys jones this? again?

sebastian vettel next they'll be saying max is dating daniel, again.

fernando alonso when did they ever stop saying that?

daniel jones-ricciardo he's my platonic soulmate! max jones-verstappen we're lovers but our wives don't know it yet. daphne jones-ricciardo i was under the assumption that my husband was in a secret love affair with ryan and that max was engaging in an affair with charles?

lewis hamilton a bunch of children, all of you.

fernando alonso starting with me, you, and seb. as the oldest we set the examples. sebastian vettel they learned from us lewis.

lewis hamilton i'm nowhere near as dramatic as you two!

rhys jones "well we're not friends." isabella perez "and teammate" george russell "taken out by my own teammate" lewis hamilton ALRIGHT I GET IT!

maejonesverstappen and maxjonesverstappen1 have posted new stories

i don't know about anyone else, but i spent valentine's day with my husband

ik houd van je

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar @weekendlusting @anytimeanywherebitchblog @ragioniera @burberryfilms @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @lorenaskaspersen @sarah-thatstings-ann @My-fangirling-outlet

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

click here to be added to the honest series taglist

¡leclerc-s speaks! anyways, back to our regularly scheduled programing, not that i have a posting schedule, but i figured, you know i gave daniel and daphne two parts about relationship rumors why not give mae and max one. this is a product of that. honestly some of my best work comes when i am sleep deprived because insomnia is a bitch, this was written yesterday. is there anyone you guys would like to write relationship rumors about??

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[agendabymooner]

sweet spoiled husband (+ son) ! sebastian vettel x ofc (filipino!ofc)

summary: there’s nothing more swoon-worthy than bel ong-vettel’s constant fawning over the retired german driver. AND mick schumacher can be anything. hell, he can also be the vettels’ child for a week as he travels to philippines to visit the couple.

content warning: mick schumacher <3, tweets at the first post, whipped!ofc being in love with seb and their son mick, seb being an afam (iykyk; for my halo halo homies, ily), wealthy and celebrity!ofc

note: i miss philippines. chile anyway, here’s some seb and mick content. p.s. I DO NOT OWN THESE PHOTOS, i got them from pinterest. also, you should see the tweets in full view 💕

masterlist

liked by mickschumacher, ginaschumacher, georgerussell63

mickschumacher from what i hear, i wouldn’t want to leave either 😅 liked by belongvettel

belongvettel until the personal space gets invaded hahaha!

user1 god has favourites and its the two of them

user2 god has a favourite and its sebastian vettel

user3 god has a favourite and its their dog hi-ro

georgerussell63 he’s really one-upping toto with all those shirts huh 🤣 liked by belongvettel

belongvettel i swear he never got the idea from toto 😭 it’s the retirement epiphany i suppose

georgerussell63 AH that’s more like it 👌

user4 THAT IS NOT SEB?!

user5 MAAM THAT CLOSET DOES NOT BELONG TO SEBASTIAN

user6 cut the cameras. deadass.

tagged belongvettel

liked by lewishamilton, danielricciardo, landonorris

user1 NAW THEY ACTUALLY TOOK HIM SHOPPING IN THE BAZAARS TOO 😭

user2 they took you to intramuros??? you are their favourite child 🤓

lewishamilton look at those two! so sweet 😍

belongvettel thank you so much for visiting us, mick! you’re more than welcome to stay for as long as you like (unless we live in switzerland, but of course you’re also welcome there) 🫶 liked by mickschumacher

mickschumacher i want more of those coconut shake please

belongvettel consider it done!

user3 i know the whole grid is foaming in the mouth rn after they saw you travel for free 😩

oscarpiastri jealous tbh

landonorris mate spare some schumacher genes, it’s the only way i’ll get noticed

mickschumacher 😘 no, i’d rather be an only child

ginaschumacher 👁️👄👁️

user4 bro forgot he had a sister lmfao 💀

user5 i just know that mick’s gonna be the talk of the grid when he returns from his vacation 😭😭

tagged mickschumacher

liked by georgerussell63, landonorris, maxverstappen1

mickschumacher looking forward to it!! liked by belongvettel

georgerussell63 the only time mick got a driver’s seat this season is seen at the last photo hahaha

mickschumacher don’t be jealous i have better shirtless photos than you 😡

user1 FACE OFF?!!! who has better shirtless photos

user2 bel please 😭 you fed us with too much shirtless mick photos

user3 sorry guys i drooled a lil

user4 lMAO NOT GEORGE VIOLATING MICK 😭😭

landonorris mickschumacher did you burn your tongue drinking the first pic too?

mickschumacher no 😅

belongvettel yes 😅

landonorris hi belongvettel can you take me to a trip next??? and oscar??? and max??? and danny???

user5 bel rn: “this is not the kind of charity i do” liked by mickschumacher

[fangweaver2099]

𝐅 𝐀 𝐖 𝐍 𝐓 𝐄 𝐄 𝐓 𝐇 - CH 1 - YOUR GPA

MINORS DNI 18+ FIC

You’ve always liked the idea of having a dominant partner - BDSM was something you’ve read about, watched videos about.

Something you made Pinterest boards and aesthetic tumblr posts about when you were 18 and curious, the idea always sounded nice, but you’ve never done it in practice, not really. Sure you bought fuzzy handcuffs at a gag gift store once, but that didn’t really count.

You’re still a virgin.

You’ve always had that chronically awkward, workaholic type of vibe that made typical dating near impossible at worst and frustrating at best. Normal dating apps have proven fruitless and agitating. So poor curious little you talked yourself into making a fetlife account. You weren’t looking for true love, but at least you could get laid.

DM Request from: 10:13 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Hello, Fawn.”

College was for new experiences after all.

CW: BDSM heavy/centric fic. Safe, Sane & Consensual. Miguel is your professor, but you both don't know that. Age Gap (Y/N is 23, Miguel is mid 30's)

TAG: @slut4oscarissac23 @iamtheprincess227 @haveclayeveryday @sphynxfoxslut69 @junehasnotbeenfound @thedevaxer @bunnibitez

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3

This semester had proven to be your most challenging yet - mostly, because of your second-choice, genuinely miserable, truly terrible genetics class.

You, Babs and Taylor had literally stayed up all night, desperate to get into Professor Parker’s class. After all, you all had heard that he was awesome .

He played movies on Fridays, he did hands-on experiments, hell he brought his adorable baby to class regularly. You had him last semester and he dressed up as Ted from Curious George for Halloween and his daughter was George. 

It was adorable.

The problem was that there was only one other professor teaching that same level and subject - Dr. O’Hara . 

You never heard or seen him before, but it seemed he only taught a class or two a semester. Still, just in case, you checked his rate on my professor page and... 

Well, it was a bloodbath . 

You had honestly never seen a score so low. Apparently, he was strict - serious, rarely offered office hours, and graded so harshly that needing to retake the class was common.

He treated his students like they were stupid , one person remarked. The guy’s a massive dick, another said. 

The amount of people who made accounts specifically to rate him was hilarious, if not shocking.

Why your college kept him employed, you had no idea. It seemed like every student that had taken his class had hated him so viscerally that the school had to be aware of just how pissed off everybody was. 

Tenure, probably. It was probably tenure. 

You all agreed that you had to get into Prof. Parker’s class. 

The three of you camped out in your living room the night class sign-up went live. Even if Taylor fell asleep halfway through the most recent season of Demon Slayers, you just tried to sign them up on their laptop. You swore you’d be successful, ready the moment they opened….

You… were not. 

The three of you settled with the knowledge that, unfortunately, you would be stuck with Dr. O’Hara, whether you liked it or not. At least you’d have each other, and it’s not like you weren’t experienced in learning on your own. 

See, you were a shining example of a woman in STEM. You hadn’t entirely picked if you were going for genetics or bioengineering yet, but you were convinced that you’d succeed wherever you went, and that included Dr. O’Hara’s class, no matter what his reviews said. 

The very first thing Dr. O’Hara said instantly made you decide that you hated him.

“You’re in an introductory class, you shouldn’t be getting A’s. If you’re getting A’s, you don’t need to be in this class.” 

That, of course, was a lie. Beginner’s principles of genetics - despite the name - had prerequisites. You were here to learn about Proteomics, not what the fuck ever he was trying to explain to you at nine in the morning on a Wednesday. 

More than once, you considered joining Babette and Taylor in their weekly ritual invoking him to get hit by a bus. 

O’Hara’s only saving grace was that he treated everyone equally like stupid children. You’d heard horror stories about old professors being sexist pieces of shit in any male dominated field. No, to you he was just a regular piece of shit. Egotistical, dismissive - uninterested. 

Who hands out four assignments on the first day of class? Dr. O’Hara sure did. You were convinced he didn’t know his students took other classes. 

Taylor, for all their faults, took shit from no one, but even they had met their match in this man. You remembered all too well your third class.

It was the very first time he paused, turning to the room of exhausted, caffeine fueled college students. 

“Any questions?” Dr. O’Hara asked the room… for the very first time. You could barely see the protein structure he drew on the board and almost didn’t catch it. 

“Yes, have you considered you’re bad at teaching?” Taylor didn’t even raise their hand - just leaned forwards in their seat to demand it of them. You were too far back to really see his expression, but you decided it was a grumpy indifference. 

“No. Next question,”

Your only saving grace was on the commute you always got coffee. You tried dressing normally for class - ‘elegant’, or… whatever clean girl tiktok label you found people assumed you were. Now you started dressing like you were homeless. Baggy sweatshirts, pants. You wore your glasses so you could actually see what the fuck he was writing. You sure were living the college student life. 

Your other classes were easier - so much easier. Most of your free time was consumed with Dr. Asshole and his stupid ten chapter readings and essays. 

When classes started, you became more scarce to Web, but he seemed mostly the same. When you did talk, it was flirtatious. Sometimes, you wondered if he was getting bored of you - but it wasn’t like he had collared you. You were just... cyber…sex…friends. 

Sure. Cyber sex friends. 

About a week into adjusting to your classes he finally brought it up.

 5:00 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Settling into things?”

“ Trying my best. Tired, 1 hr commute. ” - Fawnteeth - 5:18 PM

 5:20 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Isn’t everything an hour away here in NY?”  

“ Haha seems like it. ” - Fawnteeth - 5:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Things are finally settling in on my end. We should discuss when we’re finally meeting up.”  

“ Oh gosh. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Nervous?”  

“ Yes, kind of. I need to think about it - classes are more overwhelming than I expected this semester. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Not a problem. I’m very patient.”  

“ Not eager to see me? ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Twisting my words against me, pet. Naughty.”  

“ It’s okay. This is a lot, honesty - not that I’m not excited too. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “If it’s too much to meet in private we can always find somewhere to have coffee before we take things further. It has helped other submissives take the edge off before.”  

“ Let me think about it. I really do like you, Web. Don’t think I’m going to ghost you or anything. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “I like you too, Fawn. Think carefully though, if meeting in person is too much I don’t want to hold either of us back if we have different priorities. No hard feelings.”  

“ I do, probably in public, especially since I’ve never seen you. I’d like to not lose you. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “You may not have the same level of experience as others I’ve met, but I would be lying if I said you weren’t special. Teaching and guiding you has been a privilege.”  

“ So you’re saying you like my naivety? ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Yes. Is that a bad thing?”  

“ No. Like I’ve always said, I do appreciate the honesty. Let me get over this week and… We’ll figure it out, I promise. ” - Fawnteeth - 9:18 PM

 9:10 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Alright, pet.”  

You were instantly smacked by the reality of the situation. The fact he wasn’t just some handsome anonymous guy online who made you feel good - but a real living person who could have his hands on you.

For the first time in a long time you felt… nervous, no -

You were terrified .

Him being pushy made you nervous. You convinced yourself he had the right to be - after all, he established his needs on day one. You just… hadn’t been entirely open about your own experiences. You needed a plan - you needed time.

So, you managed to smooth it into a “ I’m really busy and still don’t feel ready right now ”, which Web thankfully accepted. 

Instead, he put the little pink lovense to use. Especially when you mentioned in passing a movie night with your roomies. 

 8:32 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Let me know when you start. Last chance to back out, Fawn. You sure you want to have me tease you while you’re with all your friends?

“ I’m sure. It can’t be… That bad. ” - Fawnteeth - 8:43 PM

You were wrong. It was bad .

You were practically shivering, a blanket bundled around you and pillow gripped tight that you had to bite to keep quiet as everyone else cackled about the movie in front of you. There was a new movie everyone demanded to watch. It was all childish fun, perfectly normal until you stuck a vibrator up your pussy. You would rather die than let them know you did this.

(it felt especially fucked up that you were on the verge of cumming while watching My Little Pony.)

He knew how to torture you. It was like he was there watching with you, choosing the perfect times to increase the settings. He had let the first twenty minutes go by without a touch, letting you adjust to the feeling of the egg inside you. Only when you had almost forgotten its presence did he turn it on, forcing you to make a startled gasp that you had to play off as a reaction to the movie, your cheeks beet-red and tingling.

It was turned off more than on, sometimes letting it buzz gently inside you for minutes at a time only to shock you with an intense burst of waves that had your toes curling. Half way through the movie you looked down to see a message ping you.

 9:20 PM - WebRigger2099 - “How are you doing? Color?

“ Is that the best you’ve got? Green .” - Fawnteeth - 9:21 PM

The regret you had for sending the message was instant, but you really were a glutton for punishment.

You damn near came then and there, power maxed out as he set a cruel rhythm that simulated a thrusting insertion. It only took you two minutes to have to excuse yourself into the next room. Sweat stuck your hair to your neck and you were so glad you decided to sit away from everyone else wrapped in your duvet. 

“ yellow yellow yellow oh my god ” - Fawnteeth - 9:23 PM

The buzzing stopped in an instant and you saw him typing.

9:23 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Go somewhere private and show me what I’ve done to you while you take a break, pet.”

“Yes sir” - Fawnteeth - 9:23 PM

You snuck back into your bedroom, leaning on the door in effort to keep it closed while you pulled your sweatshirt up and sleep shorts down. 

Your panties were soaked, even your shorts stained dark with your arousal. With one hand keeping your shirt up to show off the matching bra and panties he bought you at once, you sheepishly snapped a picture in front of your bathroom mirror, a dark mark on display for him. 

9:24 PM - WebRigger2099 - “Such a good girl. So wet for me. I don’t think I could resist tasting you if you were in front of me. I bet your cunt would be delicious.”

As agonizing as some of the games he played with you were, you couldn’t deny his compliments weren’t worth the potential shame.

He let you go after that, leaving you to try and scramble for the plot of the movie you had hardly paid attention to the past hour. You brushed off any comments of your forgetfulness as exhaustion. 

After all, you had class early the next day.

Your first assignment back from O’Hara was a fucking D. 

The entire sheet was smothered in red, making it apparent how inept at the work you “should” know. It was humiliating. You really didn’t enjoy being humiliated by that stupid old man. Revisions raised your 67 to a 72. 

(You had never gotten a C  in your whole god damn life, let alone a fucking D.)

You cried. Pathetically, sitting in the middle of your room, you cried . 

Your GPA was single-handedly going to be ruined by this one fucking professor

You’d given up everything for this chance to do what you actually loved and one egotistical asshole might ruin it. Maybe your estranged father was right - you should have stayed in nursing school. You’d be an RN by now, not a college freshman. At least being a geneticist (or biomedical engineer) made good money. Student loans weren’t a problem yet .. 

Your only saving grace was he did everything via the student portal and you sat with Taylor and Babs at the back of the classroom so you never really had to look at him, just hear his voice and watch the whiteboard. 

He wasn’t very good at explaining literally anything, often rambling on about the semantics of a lesson or discussing the practical use of certain proteins and DNA structures. You wanted to rip your hair out when he would say “the thing” practically twice a class. 

Who the fuck let this man teach? 

He knew what he was talking about - to himself. His diagrams and concepts on genomes were correct. He was a doctor of genetics - so it wasn’t like he didn’t know what he was talking about… but it didn’t mean he could teach others what it was.

You’d had bad teachers and were no newbie to learning on your own, but even still. 

A part of you wanted to cry to Web about it, but you didn’t. You’d rather him be that relief from your frustrations and commute than another person to complain to about it. You two had a very specific relationship and it was best to keep it that way. 

On Sunday Aurora put it upon herself to improve everyone’s mood. Beach trip to the shore tomorrow, so Princess Carebear declared.

You did want to show Web the new swimsuit you got, it was August and plenty warm enough to go swimming on the Jersey shore… you bought a strappy bikini with him in mind. 

It was pink and cheap. It made you feel girly. You even shaved your upper legs, ignoring old memories of your mother telling you only whores did that.

You were not a whore, just a girl with… a… master? Dominant? 

(he said you two were exclusive. that meant something.)

You had gotten so casual with photos you included your tattoo more than once, not knowing the disaster about to be unleashed on your life. The teary eyed fawn smothered in roses on your upper arm was your prized possession and your biggest identifier. 

Web never commented on it, you forgot it existed more often than not. After all, it was a gift to yourself. You told the tattoo artist you wanted your innermost self on your sleeve. So…a terrified fawn with big droopy eyes. 

Prey.

You didn’t think about your tattoo when you sat down in front of your mirror and snapped a few pictures trying on your new bikini. Your self confidence issues flared, but part of you knew Web’s words would fix it. He always said the sweetest things. He made you feel pretty. 

You didn’t need to improve your own self esteem if he could drill it into you, which he seemed more than happy to provide. 

It was something you two had talked at length - he wanted to build you up. Some submissives needed to be torn down, released, allowed to be an object or a hole. You wanted to feel special, like a prized… pet. 

You were a white hart; a dove, a unicorn. Something to be molded and groomed. You played at princesses as a little girl. Beauty and the Beast had been your favorite, it still was. 

Web was happy to oblige, he made it clear he enjoyed seeing you flustered and being the one to covet you like a prized pet. He however made it clear that he had high expectations for you.  

(It was your responsibility to tend to what he owned after all.)

You picked your favorite picture, it put emphasis on your cleavage, pushed together ever so slightly using your arm. You even tugged the bottom straps up to make your hips and thighs look bigger. You adjusted everything back to normal once you took the pics, biting your lower lip as you sent them to Web with a flirtatious heart emoji. 

7:05 AM - WebRigger2099 - “Look at you, little Fawn; So delicious. You make me want to hunt you down like a wolf and tear that cute outfit off of you.”

Mission completed, you tossed your beach clothes over your swimsuit, a tight white sleeveless tee and jean shorts. You threw flip flops in your knapsack and put on your sneakers. You forwent your typical homeless chic and your messy hair in favor of something more appropriate for the beach. 

Instead, you styled your hair cute. You put a pink scrunchie your baby sister Franny had gotten you when you were 17 in your hair. You missed her, soon she’d be out of high school and then maybe you could try reaching out. You didn’t want her to get punished.

Truth be told, you missed your whole family, shitty dad and pushover mom included.

You didn’t text Web in class. After all, he had a tendency to shift conversations to the suggestive -  you didn’t exactly talk about the weather, nor did you have that much in common. 

It felt nice to always have an idea of what your talks would be. It was such a contrast to navigating the rest of your life.

It was nearly 8:20 when you were finally out the door with Taylor and Babette for class. You three took the subway then caught a bus, then two city blocks and then across your college campus. 

It was Monday. So your first class… was beginner’s principles of genetics. Now Taylor’s slow walk of exhaustion made sense. You considered trying to talk to Dr. O’Hara about your grade. Taking 4 points off because you didn’t “fully” explain something was fucking ridiculous. You explained your reasoning but kept it succinct. You could only explain biochemicals for so long. 

How much could someone write on the components of a DNA molecule? 

Apparently more than you did, according to Dr. Asshole O’Hara.

You tried to not think about it as you scrolled instagram on your phone. Your feed was mostly summer vibes at this point of the year, but cottagecore was coming back in style. You often followed too many Japanese dog instagrams… but they were so much cuter than regular dog instagrams. 

You found yourself pausing to reply to the roommate group chat text about where on campus you all were meeting up as you strode into the classroom ten minutes earlier than usual. You often came in with like seven other people - but you, Babette, and Taylor were the only students in the classroom. 

You didn’t notice Dr. O’Hara, or how he was staring at your bare arm and your little teary eyed doe. You just reassured Aurora that driving in the city wasn’t that bad as you resumed walking to your seat.

Taylor groaned as they sat down, tossing the book bag they’d been using since the sixth grade on the floor and pulling their sticker-smothered laptop out. Babette sat down next to you, her jansport on her lap as she pulled out her tablet. Your own laptop was a second-hand Dell that you had taped the edges of to keep it from falling apart - it was easier for you to take digital notes. 

When you sat, you considered actually approaching Dr. O'Hara - you wanted to know what his expectations actually were, but when you glanced at the podium… he was missing.

You swore he was just there, standing, brooding like always. You shrugged and went to retrieve your own laptop. You weren’t often this early to class, maybe he came and left till 9:00 on the dot. He seemed like the kind of person to do that.

[osaka-lilac]

can you recommend any good lance posts or fic to read?

oh. oh. oh boy do i have some fic recs for YOU

if anyone who sees this has other recommendations, please feel free to respond in the tags or in the replies! hope you enjoy - and welcome to lance nation!!!!

(i will try to keep it not just a strollonso fic rec list, yes they're my main but i don't want to give a biased list to the masses. this is a lance fic list, not just strollonso.)

so. without further ado...

allie's lance fic recs (in no particular order)

steak and other strange situations | lance/yuki | G | @lil-shiro

-> bet you didn't expect a rare pair ship as my first recommendation, huh? frankly i love the characterization that ann has utilized here - just a guy that wants to get to know people. simple yet effective!

gone before sunrise | lance/fernando | E | zeolyte

-> oogh this one is a real kicker. i couldn't tell you why my stomach churns while reading the middle of this piece. you can really feel for lance in this one and yes it does end happy (as most if not all of the fics in here will have in common with), but if you are okay with explicit material, this is a must read.

baby hotline (please hold me close to you) | lance/esteban/mick | T | @shovson

-> woohoo my ot3!!!! we dont get to see a lot of this pairing per se, but we get a lot of seb & lance running the iconic baby hotline, an advice service lance starts to help others with anything they need, like mick and estie once did for him. lovely cameos from multiple drivers.

press enter and send it | lance/esteban | E | gothic_sevgilim

-> HOO BABY is this one HOT. office au in which lance is the sassy trainee of esteban, a minor manager at lance's father's company. the tension in here is NUTS man

between your collar and your jaw | lance/sebastian | E | @hurricane-heatt

-> if you know me you know how much i fuck with cowboys. THEN you should by association know that i would never pass up a cowboy au. THIS is what a cowboy au should look like. passionate, yet leaves you in a cloud of dust by the side of the dirt road, knowing you'll never see this man and his steed again.

clerestory | pierre/charles with a side of lance/fernando | E | @nobrakesdown

-> woah. i thought this was a lance fic list?? this is our wildcard for the list. lance only appears in this fic as a historical figure in the wild royal mystery pierre is studying as he heals from an injury after a major crash. frankly i just wanted to add this one because it genuinely is one of my favorite fics on the site and since it vaguely has lance in it, i will be including it

never too soon | lance/george | G | @userkritaaay

-> stressed unstoppable force george meets relaxed immovable object lance. this is just lance and george suffering together after singapore 2023. delightful

you're my fucking hero: the critic's review | lance/fernando | M | me. i wrote this

-> finally, who would i be on this site without a bit of self promo. the love labor of @no00000000's wonderful dirtbag au, in which lance learns to live and pursue his own passions after a run in with a rough criminal, fernando. it is formatted as a movie review for a hypothetical movie, inspired by the essays i would write while in my history of film course years ago.

[hockeyshmockey]

M Verstappen Imagine

M Verstappen x norris!ex reader

liked by gridgossip, zbrownhater and 3,204 others

f1gossip sent in! Lando Norris spotted in a steamy embrace tonight at a club in Monaco. That is noticeably not his long time partner and real estate mogul yn ln, who posted just yesterday a throwback of the couple looking all loved up. Is this a Lando scandal? Or did our favorite grid couple break up on the down low?

view 1,312 comments

user you're joking

user nah he fumbled SO hard

lilymhe it's on sight @ alexalbon

alexalbon ...

liked by lilymhe, danielricciardo and 829,230 others

ynln should've thought twice before you let this go

view 23,413 comments

alexalbon lily is screaming at her phone

maxfewtrell slaying

user she is glowing but you know she's hurting inside

liked by ynln

carlossainz hermosa amiga <3

liked by user, gridgoss and 2,329 others

f1gossip sent in: yn ln spotted tonight leaving her and ex boyfriend lando norris' apartment together in Monaco. based on her demeanor, we can assume she probably was there to move out. Ln has been seen spotted around town with multiple drivers and their partners after a scandolous picture of Norris with another girl was released.

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tagged lilymhe, carmenmundt, heidiberger

ynln a well needed gno

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danielricciardo you're never taking heidi out again

user I love them

georgerussell the way you kicked me out of my own bed to cuddle with carmen smh

alexalbon next time the boys need to supervise

lewishamilton looking good yn!

f1gossip sent in! yn ln spotted out an about in monaco and we had multiple reports that she was seen with the one and only Max Verstappen!

reply from user that is so max

reply from maxverstappen thanks for looking at places with me today!

reply from danielricciardo interesting .

liked by mickschumacher, maxfetrell and 912,420 others

tagged lilymhe, carmenmundt

ynln monza files

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user she's at monza?!

georgerussel poor guy not even getting pic creds

alexalbon I think he'll survive

user suspicious...

f1gossip fans were quick to note the return of a familiar face this weekned, yn ln returning to paddock after the end of her relationship with Lando. She was spotted with both Red Bull and Mercedes passes. Ln is close friends with George Russel and his partner Carmen, but the Red Bull pass is causing some heads to turn!

f1gossip sent in! max verstappen spotted out for a late dinner after his record win in Monza. Fans noticed he was with a woman, the two having an intimate dinner. Could the world champion have a new girl?

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ynln life is good again

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user did anyone else see max's story.....

lilymhe oh he rich rich

user not the soft launch... did they mean to do it?

landonorris wow

f1gossip after a week full of speculation, we may have another tidbit in the yn ln and max verstappen rumors. Sent in from various sources, Ln was seen getting out of a car with Max this evening, heading into a restaurant for dinner

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user honestly good for her

user I know lando is going to cry over this lol, serves him right!

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ynln he helped fix the pieces you broke, and that's something I will never feel guilty about

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danielricciardo finally! this was weighing on me heavily. I am so happy for you two

user oh my god the indirect

lilymhe obsessed with you two

alexalbon lily is making me be nice. yn im really happy for you

lewishamilton congrats guys!

user its the power: she didn't even tag him but everyone knows it's max

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maxverstappen one mans loss is another mans gain

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user did lando delete his isntagram

user the way landos friends are hyping max up for treating his ex better >>>>

[sdv-confessions]

there are people keep saying sebastian is a loser while alex is some popular kid just because they look like the stereotypes of nerdy emo kid and a jock. saying this with whole my heart as a male alex liker, but sorry, you are wrong. sebastian didnt go to college but he managed to self taught coding and getting money out of it is fucking impressive. he has his own motorbike, and he has a group of friend who love and support him. he is pretty direct with his emotions and struggles once you get to know him on a certain level. and as for alex, this boy only has one friend (two, if you count emily in if thinking about the fact that he knew her through haley). he wished there were more girls in the town, but he never directly went out to talk with them besides haley,like boy what are you doing, but i kinda understand given how george was not much of a good figure good is not nice remember folks. alex did have a job, but it's more like a side gig given how his ice cream stand only open in summer and only in a certain time. and the fact that he tried to uphold his tough persona instead of opening up to anyone except dusty and the farmer, who accidentally caught him being sad, or how only after marriage he said that he never had many friends and didnt know what to do if the farmer didnt come here. that boy is a loser more than sebastian! but i love him for that <3

they are like "well sebastian lives with his parents" as if he didnt have a plan to move out. and not just him, there are many townies who are adults still live with their family like sam, shane, penny, haley and emily live with their parents before those two went travelling, etc, even his sister maru. and not to mention in some cultures, its normal to stay with your parents until you get married, hell, some households even have 2 or more generations living together. and living alone? in this economy? no fucking way my siblings in christ, saying this as an atheist

ok i know its getting too long but i also dont like how the fandom saying that alex is only good with male farmer and dismiss his sexist views towards female farmer at the beginning by saying it was because hes gay, given how there are gay men who are very misogynistic in real life. we all saw how george was when you married alex as a guy, and if you think deep enough, homophobia and sexist usually go hand in hand. like dont you look at me and tell me that peepaw doesnt have at least a sexist thought once. its good for both of them to grow out of it with both female and male farmer, but i think its worth mentioning that in male farmers route, we get to understand why alex turned out like that, as usually you would reflect some of your parents or caretakers behaviors, whether they taught it to you or you mimic them unintentionally. so i dont like anyone who hates him making alex being sexist as an engraved trait, he changed! he apologized and grew out of it later. also people who post character hate in their tags im watching you when you sleep if anything, pierre should get a fair share of hate for being sexist towards abby and caroline too, but i dont see people talk about it enough like how he acts towards the farmer and their products and stuffs

.

[f0point5]

I just saw the funniest take on Twitter and it still has me flabbergasted. So apparently because Oscar didn’t get DRS from Lando, he lost out on a podium in Canada and should be looking at other teams. The team are trying to sabotage him by always giving Lando the faster strategy (even though he got the preferential ones in Jeddah and Monaco).

Also because he didn’t post his post-race tweet until yesterday that it’s clear he’s deeply unhappy with the team. Someone did a really good thread on the McLaren strategy and if they made the right call but it’s full of ‘Piastri’ fans saying they sabotaged his race.

Anyways, some fans made Instagram stories and tweets and tagged Mark Webber to try get him out of his contract at McLaren. I’m so curious at where they think he could go? Ferrari and Redbull have their lineups secured, plus Mark Webber is hardly going to encourage him to go to Redbull. Mercedes have decided to go all in on Antonelli and Aston have their line up secured too. Do they want him to go back to Alpine? To join Stake and suffer?

I understand it’s frustrating when the driver you like and want to do well doesn’t get the result you wanted for them. McLaren clearly want him, they wouldn’t have signed him until 2026 if that wasn’t the case, he’s doing a good job with them. He and Lando are working well together, they seem to get on well and are working to get McLaren up there and fighting every week. It just feels like some of these people don’t watch the races or understand why certain decisions are made.

Sorry for the rant 😭

He should be looking at…BITCH WHAT?

Look where? Please tell me because that McLaren is a rocket ship where else is he going to find one?? Red bull and their broken car, next to Max Verstappen? He’ll have a lot more to moan about over there than not getting dragged along by Lando, that’s for sure. Ferrari, who have Lewis Hamilton and Il Predestinatio not mention have just got their own academy driver a seat? And that’s not even touching on the questionable strategy. Merc, who have all but given the seat to Antonelli? Anywhere else is looking backwards and a waste of his talent.

So where can he go?

And why should he go? Because Lando let him fall out of DRS range? If he wanted the DRS that badly he needed to stay in range of the guy driving the same car. Sorry to say it but they’re having this discussion like Oscar was only a passenger and not the person who ultimately controls his pace. You want to stay ahead of George? Be faster. I’m sure Oscar doesn’t want to rely on Lando for the outcome of his race. Why do people who call themselves fans of Oscar think he should be counting on anything but his own ability? Ludicrous.

McLaren have to think about getting the largest amount of points with two cars. Oscar has to think about Oscar. Lando has to think about Lando. The balance of these three agendas is what makes F1 fun to watch. If everyone is playing the team game all the time what would we be watching?

People are on some next shit istg

[theweirdgoodbyes]

Last Line Challenge

Thanks for the tag @ventresses!

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you like)

——this is a snippet from my fake dating au for luztoye week that is nowhere near done but has taken me hostage——

“I gotta,” Joe takes a small sip of his coffee, shivering as the cold liquid hits his tongue. He prefers hot, but it’s not like this guy knows that and he’s not gonna complain about a free drink, “hmm, I gotta know what this is about before I commit to anything. ‘Cause as of right now, I think you’re over the hill and far away.”

George throws back his head and laughs like it’s the funniest shit he’s ever heard, a loud, genuine thing that has Joe biting his lip to keep from smiling. He looks back at Joe, smile still glued to his face as his chuckles subside.

“You’re not wrong, pal. So, uh,” George sniffs, quickly wiping at his nose with the back of his hand before pointing at Joe with both index fingers, “let’s start with a little background. I’m one of ten kids, ranking in at number six but by far the best looking.”

“Jesus Christ,” Joe mutters, shaking his head. Although he never liked being an only child and always longed for a sibling or two, he couldn’t imagine having nine. George just grins, those fingers wagging in unison.

“Catholics love two things: Mother Mary and fucking without a condom. Anyway, all my siblings are married or engaged and my mother’s been on my ass for years about settling down. ‘Georgie’,” George says in a falsetto so realistic Joe has to blink once, twice, before it registers that the words came out of the man’s mouth, “‘I’m worried you’re gonna die alone. Why won’t you give me grand babies?’ Woman’s already got sixteen, mind you.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“I know. Anyway, at Christmas I got so damn fed up with her pestering I finally came out, not like she didn’t already know. ‘Ma, I’m gay’. I think that’s the end of it and she’ll leave me alone.” George slams his palms down on the table, forcing Joe to reach out and grab his coffee before it tips over from the impact. “Nope! Now she’s pestering me about when I’m gonna get a boyfriend. And she’s got my sisters texting me about it, those turncoats. So, Easter rolls around, and she’s so far up my ass I could just about shit her out. ‘Georgie’,” he says in that falsetto again, “‘God loves the gays. But you gotta get married to make it right’. So I started a little lie. Said I was seeing somebody. Picked the most common name out there and said his name is Joe, y’know, Joe Shmo who likes to blow. He’s a good Catholic boy like myself, he doesn’t live around here, and that’s the end of it.”

“But it’s not the end of it,” Joe says slowly, unsure if he wants to know more. If he was feeling more sane, or wasn’t about to get one hell of a fucking fine for not paying off the ticket in time, he would have grabbed his crutches and been out the door by now. But there was something about George that was almost hypnotic, making the world around him fade into a blur, only able to focus on this stupid yet charming man before him. Joe takes another gulp of his coffee for strength, hardly registering the cold temperature anymore.

“It sure as shit ain’t. This woman, my God, she’ll never be satisfied. She wants pictures. She wants details. She wants to meet him. You know what the problem is? Guy doesn’t fucking exist.” George takes a sip of his own coffee, iced like Joe’s and double the size, impish brown eyes glinting with something Joe isn’t sure he wants to understand, “Until now.”

Tagging @lamialamia @bast0gne @antigonenikk and anyone else who wants to do it heehee

[scenetocause]

first line game

wrote something so insane self-flaggelatory here even i realised it needed to get edited out but uhhhh finally did this i guess thank you for tagging me a lot. last ten works in reverse, first lines.

do you think it's cute that i'm so fucking stupid? (loscar buzzfeed unsolved au) “It’s a mystery house, ” Logan says it with a big hand gesture that doesn’t mean anything, except that he’s excited. And a dickhead. 

shoreline i see when i'm off course (loscar and mando, a/b/o) Oscar’s not bothered, exactly, at the idea of having an unmated alpha for a team mate. 

simply stare but continue to eat (loscar, vague mando, logan/maxf/oscar) "Hey," Oscar's a bit surprised to see Max, he hasn't been at any of the races so far this season and it's not like he wants to ask some kind of awkward question like 'is it too painful to be there' or 'are you still trying to get a drive' but he'd assumed Max was avoiding the whole situation.

well past the weeds (george/toto but really more like george/merc, toto/merc) It’s about the team. It’s always, always about the team.

feel it in my fate now (landoscar) Lando’s so. Yes. Especially in MTC.

climb up to your lips (R63 girloscar landoscar) Lando likes to think he has a fairly good handle on his own tastes: brunettes a bit shorter than him, who preferably don’t love sushi or at least can live with only eating it when he’s not there.

(oh lando bless you how wrong you were)

that dog in me (landoscar puppy play) "Don't you ever get homesick?" Oscar could count the number of people he'd less like to be having this conversation with than Lando Norris on one hand and one of them's the bored immigration officer who had to tell him he'd not got his passport stamped right in Doha.

so far, i've given it up (landoscar, plane sex) “Oscar.” Lando using his full name can’t mean anything good, from experience. “What the fuck are those?”

tired of only breathing alone (mando, maxf/pietra, maxf/lando/pietra) Of course it’s. Complicated.

in you, too (landoscar puppy play post-hungary) “I think it would be good,” Andrea says, gently, after the unmitigated disaster that is the post-race video. “If you were to talk together, perhaps privately.”

bc my titles are almost always lyrics here's the songs they're all from too haunted by laura les (do you think it's cute that i'm so fucking stupid/tell me that it is cus i'm tired of being useless) cut copy me by petula clark (cut copy me, i'm all yours/a shoreline i see when i'm off course) doesn't matter by christine & the queens (& the guys simply stare but continue to eat) rabbit will run by iron & wine (& judgement is just like a cup that we share/i'll jump over the wall & i'll wait for you there/well past the weeds in our visions of things to come) hopes up by drama (both feel it in my fate now and so far i've given it up but the lyrics don't really apply contextually, i just like the idea of all the warmth of the song for grotty but affectionate workplace fucking) wild girl by kito & empress of but it's the paul woodford remix (i'm not jealous, i'm not frightened/climb up to your lips, with a swiftness) the distance by totally enormous extinct dinosaurs (how long must i wait for this love/i'm tired of only breathing alone)

[neallo]

Umm what are your meronia divorce headcanons? 😇 Yes I am baiting you into posting those tags you wrote because they were SO CORRECT

HGFDSJFSDFSD <3 <3 <3 GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT THEM AS EXES... BLESS YOU...

Okay. So. BROADLY. Here is how I imagine they break up:

Mello, being literally so fucking bad at understanding Near and also being so bad at being normal in general and ALSO being bad at seeing his own value... I could see him suggesting breaking up as a way to test if Near really cares about him (this is deranged but so is he) and getting DEEPLY hurt when Near is not sobbing screaming crying on the floor pleading for him to stay. IMO Near is actually genuinely gutted in pretty much any situation where they part ways, but he sees that as his problem to deal with. He's not going to attempt to coerce Mello into staying in a relationship that he's (evidently) not happy in. There are. UM. Exceptions to this. But we won't get into that (<- lazy and also IDK if I can do it without spoiling a future story).

The biggest problem here is that even when Mello realizes he's miserable without Near etc etc etc he's wayyyy too proud to actually admit he made a mistake ending their relationship. I do think, however, that he would struggle to long-term stay away from Near fully. His impulse control is pretty bad so, like. Y'know.

I'll, uh. Refrain. From belaboring the point here [<- already plagued empress with the most disorganized thoughts imaginable yesterday about this ghsgjfsfhsdf] but I love the idea of a situation where they're exes because of Mello being chaotic and terrible and then he continues to be chaotic and terrible by starting to sleep with Near on a multiple-times-a-week basis again without actually acknowledging that they're effectively dating.

Like he's not fucking anyone else, he tells people he's not single, but he will NOT ask Near to get back together. He will however take literally one shot of tequila and just leave the bar or party & walk to Near's. "Ohhh I was just in the area" <- he had to walk 30 minutes to get there and climb up three stories of fire escape to do this. And he WOULD walk further if that was what was required.

Near is very nice and pretends like this is normal behavior because IMO he on some level realizes Mello is profoundly dysfunctional and is trying to figure out how he's supposed to deal with the whole thing (but is still in love enough and sufficiently used to Mello's deranged nature to put up with it <3 ).

Bonus points in my mind if this is a college AU or s/t and Near is roommates with Gevanni, who Mello fucking HATES on principle (read: is attractive and in Near's general vicinity, therefore must die). He has only met George (<- intentionally gets Gevanni's name wrong) a handful of times, but he was REALLY annoyed to find out that Gene didn't even know who he was bc CERTAINLY Near would have mentioned him. Gerald should really pay better attention :/ [Near is an undergrad student, Gevanni is a PhD candidate who desperately needed to sublet somewhere cheap and thought he lucked out w/ the most relaxed quiet tidy roommate Ever until this rude blonde guy started showing up and having loud sex with Near 2-3x a week]

[inchidentally]

(screencapped to stay out of the tags)

I'm going to be bundling my other tricky asks as always in one post under a cut but this one as actually a learning curve for me as someone who doesn't really follow Max stuff.

I genuinely hadn't realized just how much time Lando had spent with Max privately and non-F1 weekend related. I'm not esp a Max fan which would explain me missing a lot but I did know they had a pretty solid friendship that dated more closely to his friendship with George and Alex - but damn that's way more time spent with Max than any other driver this season!

what's funny too is that Max is actually super happy to be physically affectionate in a flirty way with other guys similar to how Lando is. Carlos is only like that with certain guys, namely Charles and guys his own age that he deems as "pretty". but as someone who pulled shippy shit from any car|ando interaction I can honestly say that the "ooh they touched in a sexy way!" stuff was just how Lando is with guys. Carlos firmly has Lando in the little brother/friend space and literally says he thinks Lando is "cute" and that it's weird when people ask them to kiss. and yes, they have dinner sometimes and travel on the same plane sometimes to the next race - but just this season Lando did that with Daniel and Oscar and Max as well.

so surely Max including Lando in all this personal life stuff and spending time together online and in Monaco during the winter break is a HUGE threat to car|ando? I genuinely can't and don't want to try and understand the larry mentality of RPF but if I had to guess then it's something as wild as them considering Max as already part of a major RPF ship (|estappen or maxtie|) that's supposedly ALSO taking place under cover of all these "fake" girlfriends? man I wish I could remove the terms "beard" and "escort" from these people's vocabulary.

I've also got an ask that apparently charlos causes rage for both |estappen and car|ando bc they have an agenda that Charles and Carlos hate each other but then keep getting infuriated when Charles mounts Carlos or Carlos won't stop touching Charles' thighs or they try to kiss for the millionth time. akgfsakfgaf how exhausting must it be keeping these theories going I caaaan't

but returning to your ask yea fact is that Lando is way closer and more of a friend outside F1 with Max than Carlos. they meet up probably the same amount during the drivers parades as car|ando and sometimes even get handsy. but I guess somehow that's different ?? even when Lando has teased that RB would be his only temptation away from McLaren and Christian Horner wants to en plein air fuck Lando ???

from what I can tell, Daniel was never considered a threat to car|ando which continues to be bizarre bc purely objectively again, I would say he's more of a friend outside F1 to Lando than Carlos. not by a whole lot but Daniel and Lando share road trips and private flights and Lando fits into Daniel's friend group really well. I guess maybe since Daniel's just widely loved in fandom in general there was less motive to try and tear down his relationship with Lando?

that's true, I also seem to recall starting to see this anti-landoscar BS starting around Japan/Oscar's contract extension. I suppose if I were trying to look at it through their angle then the Japan and Qatar double McLaren podiums coming right after Singapore - including Oscar's extension - would be seen as some kind of "insult" ? I guess Oscar went from being cute and non-threatening to suddenly cockblocking the Carlos back to McLaren pipe dream (that Carlos would literally only do as a fifth or sixth option and only if Ferrari gave him the boot lol). especially since Lando insisted on being crazy happy about the double podiums instead of I guess wistfully thinking of how much he wishes he could play second fiddle to Carlos getting the only non-RB win of the season instead of trying to idk help his team and himself in the standings.

then there was the crazy mood swing when Lando and Carlos went to dinner after Mexico and flew to Brazil together (with Rebecca) - to the rage when it turned out that Lando hanging out in Brazil for a day or two after the race wasn't car|ando bc Lando went to Cali almost immediately for sponsors meetings while Carlos and Rebecca both posted pics and video of their private holiday together that went right up until the day before the Vegas race. I definitely saw the uptick in car|ando agit prop after that whole shebang bc then Carlos wanted Rebecca at the "car|ando cup" and kept checking in on her. the hatred towards her truly took on a whole ugly and dark turn after that.

it is still so damn weird that Oscar/landoscar is the target that it is for them though. I have another ask where in some F1 group Christmas art the artist depicts Lando interacting with Carlos and not Oscar and ??? it's a drawing??? and I'm assuming they don't rate Lily's existence as security for car|ando since apparently any woman can be conveniently written off as a fake gf. but Oscar doesn't play gay with Lando and he didn't push for a bromance and generally keeps himself to himself unless Lando wants him around! he's a Lando fanboy but he's not even hardcore pushing content of him and Lando on his sm! the poor guy is literally just standing there catching strays bc of a mainstream bromance that has nothing to do with him

I'm sorry anon this went so wide of what you were saying but genuinely I used to spend so much of my time on car|ando accounts and it's slowly turning into a larry "they are looking to each other" edit type fandom ;__;

but fr why does Oscar get put in the "we hate the real life girlfriends" category ?????? I genuinely laugh bc it's so insane why isn't he like Max or Daniel why is he That Fake Bitch Standing In Our Ship's Way and they aren't is it bc he's prettier and serves natural cunt afglajfgalgfslafg