#<== YOU CANT BE DOING THIS TO ME IM SCARED

[smowyashe]

hi, someone with a functioning uterus over here, i most likely have endometriosis or something similar, and my knees are also out of place and cause me severe pain after stairs/physical stuff and sometimes just generally, i also cant stand up for long periods of time or at least as long as most people i know because my knees get weak and i feel like im about to fall to the ground, sometimes when i get up too fast or move around quickly i actually black out and i have randomly collapsed on multiple occasions

all throughout my life people have told me that im just being dramatic or that its nothing to worry about

a major influence in my life, my own mother, has disregarded my pain for years and always told me to just "get through it, we all have bad days" when i ask to stay home from school because i feel sick or depressed and it takes me breaking down in tears for her to realise that its serious and even then she still makes me go

i have a friend who has multiple problems with her legs, she also has achilles tendonitis, she walked on a hyperextended knee for about three months or more before she saw a doctor about it because her mother told her that she was being dramatic about it, any longer and she could've lost the ability to walk. forever.

she's been the person telling me to talk to someone seriously about my legs and other joint problems because she knows firsthand what could happen if you keep quiet about it and let people tell you that its nothing

it isnt just physical health thats a problem, mental health is a big factor as well

when i first raised my concerns with having ADHD with a doctor, he asked me if i got good grades, i said yes, and he told me i didnt have ADHD

i also met a lot of resistance from my own mother, getting into many arguments about whether or not i have autism or am neurodivergent, i remember her specifically telling me that she thinks im neurotypical

after my informal diagnosis of ASD she told me that she had taken me to a doctor to see if i was autistic when i was younger but the doctor told them i was just a weird kid and that we didnt have to worry about anything

i have trauma from growing up undiagnosed.

i also have high levels of depression and anxiety and my mum kept telling me to just open my windows and get some fresh air and get outside more and do more social things

even though i know that multiple things are wrong with me physically and mentally i probably wont reach out for help until much later or until i cant bear the pain any longer or someone forces me to

because im still scared ill just be told that im being melodramatic about it and that i just need to get some rest or that it happens to everyone or that i just need to take some medicine and it will all go away

"we're all supposed to get a little pain sometimes" well ive been in pain my entire life, is that "sometimes" enough for you?

Whenever I speak to an AFAB person there’s almost an 100% guarantee they have some kind of health issue that they should be seeing a doctor about, but don’t because “I’m just being dramatic”. I know people who have had relentless chronic pain to the point they are unable to move an entire limb, people who had asthma for years and never saw a doctor about it, girls I’ve grown up with who will be gone for a considerable amount of time and when they come back say “oh you know just period cramps”. I’ve experienced this myself, subconsciously dismissing my own pain due to the amount of times I’ve walked into a doctors office or spoken to an adult I trusted and been told “it’s good for you to struggle a bit” “it’s not that bad”, “stop trying to get attention”.

A medical issue that is debilitating or uncomfortable in your life is something to see a doctor about. You’re not dramatic for not wanting to be in pain all the time, for not wanting to feel terrible and tired and sick. Being in pain all the time is not just something that you’re supposed to live with.

Dismissing people for their pain is yet another thing that makes health care inaccessible.

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

have hit tma 39 "infestation" im so obsessed why the fuck r they like this.

"right right right right right right right" BOYYYY. you r SCARING HIM

do like this scene starting with jon "no emotions" simms having to be injured & vulnerable.

it being immediately revealed martins holding every braincell in these fuckass archives with the corkscrew convo

"it is actually safe" voice of a man who actually cares so very much about his loser friends

"i dont want to be a mystery" aww. pathetic.

"statement of JoE sPoOky, about SinISter hApPeNiNgs-" sir u r about 2 Die

"TIM TIM TIM" "he CANT HEAR YOU!!" ".. TIMM-" INCREDIBLE. 2 COLLECTIVE BRAINCELLS

martin & sasha giving Horror Movie viewers. cute

"hes dead and covered in worms and thats it-" "we dont know that." cute. whatever. force of jons singular "shuttt up" stopping 10 thousand martin panic attacks a day.

"because im scared, martin" CUTE. 1 singular vulnerability

"u didnt. die here, did u?" "what!, what, wh- what no, no, what..?" "i just-" "what made you think i was a GHOST??" fucking dumb cute bastards.

".. whatever web youve been caught in. im there too" CUTE CUTE CUTE. especially with the martin spoilers ive gotten.. my boyy

".. a GHOST, really-" "shut up martin" CUTE CUTE CUTE

jon nd martin being considered the group cowards. cute. theyre married 2 me.

also. elias sounds so earnestly worried. hes giving group dad core. 2 me.

"HI GUYYS FUNNY STORY REALLY" "WORMS EVERYWHERE, HORRIBLE DEATH & EVERYTHING" "HAVE A LOOK!" BARKS. TIMMMMM. BBYGIRL WHY R U LIKE THISSS

"... lofi charm?" "i see." jon really thinking his ass is cringeee

[thedolmainblog]

I NEED MORE JEALOUS BLYTHE. I need this freak reacting to the one getting flirted with. We know he will begrudgingly share with Aiden, but how would he react to PC getting flirted with by the other love interests? I am cradling him so so fondly like a freddy fazbear plush with the eyes bulging out

blythe does not get jealous. at least, at first. like i said, as long as you come back to him, its all good. its fine. this is more true for his younger version! as long as he feels your relationship is secure, he doesnt feel jealousy. but as he got older, well....

see, he tries to be the mature guy in room. hes not gonna fly off the handle seeing the one get flirted with another guy, but a glare and "hey love, who is this?" usually dissolves it. and hey, most people know not to come near the one. usually situations like this wont happen......but this is rapechester, something is going to happen. if this guy incessantly flirts with the one, hes pulling them out of that situation. nope, nada, enough of that. pc is mine. stay in your lane. and if they get pissed off? scare phase 1 blythe baby. he'll beat their heads in to get the message. (of course, there is also the scenario of you flirting back, which is the rare moments that will decrease his love and devotion. not out of anger towards you, but to himself. you reciprocating means he's clearly lacking something. you mightve gotten bored of him. that cant do. that cant happen. so if you get bombarded with love and affection from blythe, that's why. please, please stay with him. please choose him. please.)

NOBODY ASKED but im gonna add aiden in here too. aiden, ever the opposite, does get jealous and its very obvious. even towards blythe! but not to the same level of anger theyd feel with other people. like, excuse you, thats MY toy, youre nothing compared to me? stay away and hands off. of course, they do not say Any Of That, but thats the vibe theyre giving off while having their usual smile. might indulge in their plaything more to get their mind off things. if the person flirted with you is someone who works for them, theyre fired. if you flirted back, um. punishment. theres no going around it. the point of the punishment is to make you perish the thought of ever doing something like that ever again. if youre going to be a plaything, youre THEIR plaything. no one else's. understood? good.

[z0n1x]

shitty soundpage commentary 2!

part 1:

https://www.tumblr.com/z0n1x/775758866285838336/ok-meowrther-fucker-where-doing-this-where-making

all the good stuff is under the cut!

IS HE FINALLY GONNA GET HIS BEC KILL??

why is bec blanc glowing yellow???

LMAOOOO THEY LOOK SO SCARED

its lalonde suicide time!!!!

huh i guess hope can do like anything so protecting the point with it isnt out of the question but then why didnt jake do something like this earlier

also you cant see it but jane is MASHING that button the laser goes like 5 different times

why does one of them have funko pop proportions??? did jade do that?

her goose is FULL ON CHARCOAL at this point

okay what the fuck?? maybe like with all the bodies she considered all of the dead soldiers one organism and “healed” all of them by fusing them together???? or maybe it’s just cool and im over thinking it

hmmm wouldn’t the dead trolls eyes turn white? maybe i heard this wrong but i thought dead troll bodies eyes turned white when they died and their ghost self reflected this

also THE LITTLE :3 FACED OLIVE TROLL EVEN IN DEATH LOLL

the true biggest loss….. his pizza also is he wearing cat paw slippers?

what if….. we were both D:, and we ran into the sunset together 0////0

after everything….. you can still see your mustache

how does the mustache…. you know what ill go with it

“riiiiiight here please you cant mess this up there is literally 0 chance you cant hit this unless jane has started building a death star”

awwww shit jasperose was right :/

how the hell did she get johns phone???

god the artstyle difference is crazy

also i just noticed (vriska) got a tavros style haircut

HELL YES THEY FINALLY GET TO LEAVE

lmao

I CANT CONVEY HOW COOL THIS MOMENT IS GO WATCH IS YOURSELF!

blue (vriska) shading (light) compared to earliers purple (rose) shading on roses face

just a cool detail

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

hmmmm im stuck between thinking this is just like extra godtier vriska or ult!vriska…

let me say though that the way that she stole rose’s knowledge of what was going to happen away from her is very thief of light-y

and of course stealing the spotlight…

bec blanc is way bigger than i thought if theres someone in there piloting it when their that small

AHHHH WITH KARKAT BEHEADING IT AND THE BLOOD RED COLOR ALREADY BEING ALL OVER BEC BLANC ITS JUST SO COOL

hmmmm new fire motif? im into it but it feels sort of out of left field for vriska

this new design is so cool yall

ohh lol i get it sun over the moon

but also with the increase in red in the design and her trying to message terezi i wonder if shes going to talk about terezi more since a big accent color for terezi was red and they had matching red shoes and stuff

i do like what they did with the eight to infinity thing and im glad theyre using it more in this new era of vriska if youll pardon my bs

also: more fire

AW SHIT SHES GOING FOR THE BIG GOAL

AAAAAAND

SHE SCORES!! (????????)

WILL IT BE JUST! WILL IT BE HEROIC (probably not) FIND OUT NEXT TIME LIKE IN A MONTH!

lol if you read all of this thanks for listening to me quote memes and badly theorize for a bit!

and if future me is reading this to see what i thought was going to happen: did i get anything right? ;3

part one: https://www.tumblr.com/z0n1x/775758866285838336/ok-meowrther-fucker-where-doing-this-where-making

byyyyyye!

[fuckimrowan]

#literally its always the most childish out of touch reasons#people love ignoring the context and code of war of the time and side with agamemnon because that is what all the men did#its the immediate bad faith reading of his character with no regard to the previous 10 years of war#he is the youngest soldier here and the only one not bound by oath to stay#he came here knowing he'll die on the battlefield and never reconcile with his long lost son#he's lead the charge in every battle has bled for these men and won them every war prize they could desire#all while the old guys sit back and watch pretending to strategize and thankful achilles does their dirty work#and achilles tells us at the beginning of the story that#despite how thankless of a job it is he does it for the men#and in turn has won their favor which aggie hates#in fact agememon literally fears that the men like achilles so much more#they'll follow him instead if given the opportunity#and maybe achilles thought this too lol who knows#but all he ever did was say what everyone else was too scared to say to end the plague thats killing people dishonorably#and that apollo must be appeased so that gods are no longer offended#it was agemenmon who brought the plague upon them in the first place and it was him who wanted to let it continue no matter how many died#and he was the one that overreacted and made and example out of achilles#to try and humiliate him and retain the power he felt slipping#and achilles has to sit by and watch not a single soul have the courage to stick up for him despite all he's done#or how quickly they all forget the prophecy that they cant win this war without him lol so#its only because achilles removed himself that agememon was able to spread his propaganda against him#to turn the men against achilles which was part of his naivety of youth and not being as politically trained as the rest of them#hes not naive because he's selfish and mean he's naive because he thought people would listen to their hearts instead of plot to destroy hi#but everyone just wants to ignore these points and say he's egotistical because he wanted a lil say in his life before he was murdered for#and in doing this the reader now becomes one of the manipulated greeks#siding with a man that killed his own daughter to win#not sure if this was one of homers intentions but i'd say its an ironic outcome lol#sad! more for me lol#achilles PREV TAGS IM WORSHIPPING YOU

achilles haters on this app be PISSING ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rei-does-stuff]

EXTREMELY LONG Cream unicorn cookie thoughts bc i have brainrot

—

-Okay so this whole brainrot started when I thought abt an evil version of Cream Unicorn A corrupted/distorted version of their ideals would be interesting ESP SINCE THEYRE ALREADY A LIL FUCKED UP LIKE AGAIN THEY WANTED TO KIDNAP CHILDREN

And it would be rlly easy too, just make it so they don’t change their mind the only reason they let them leave is because they didn’t want them to be upset, making it so they don’t care about that fact and it isn’t about their wants its about them, THEY WANT THEM STAY and it doesn’t matter how much they cry or how upset they are they’re staying with them no matter what

-I like to think that Cream Unicorn cookie in canon is still a little fucked, and has those moments of not wanting people to leave them, and has to just physically stop themselves from acting on those selfish feelings,

They just put on the front that everything is fine and normal and that they’re fine and normal because they don’t wanna scare anyone

“They love it here, they love me so ergo they don’t wanna leave YIPPIEEE EVERYONE IS HAPPY” meanwhile the kids are like “I wanna go home to my parents” You could also do the coraline route where cream unicorn is like “IM your real parent now :) im the one who should be taking care of you”

-(Also I need more cream unicorn interactions that ARENT with their extremely sanitized version, bc theyre so interesting and I hate that its never brought up how fucked they are

Bc others interactions with that version of them would be so interesting

Bc kingdom!cream has no real sense of loneliness, or much beyond happy dreamer because they don’t wanna acknowledge that they were kinda fucked up which I get WHY but still :/)

-Them and Shadow Milk cookie would get along I feel mainly bc Shadow would see right through Cream’s facade and see that aren’t as innocent as they seem

I say they still held people hostage but still left after in hopes of finding cookies who could inhabit the amusement park, maybe more than those just pure of heart bc theyre desperate Again a coraline other mother situation where they lead cookies in with the promise of fun and happiness, and try to convince them to stay with them willingly, though not exactly telling them the whole truth,

Because its okay if they WANNA be trapped <33

-imagine shadow calls cream out for lying just for fun

Shadow seeing right through creamuni and cream unicorn desperately trying to cover everything up with more lies is soooo!!

Shadow: Y’know cookieland is supposed to be for the pure of heart only but you don’t seem pure of heart yourself, or does that rule not apply to you? :)))

cream unicorn cookie: You can’t hurt him in front of the children you can’t hurt him in front of the children you can’t—

-Also hc that dozer was just in cookieland the entire time he was gone and cream finally let him out and thats why theyre finally back in the spin off games

He gets into those fuck ass scenarios in that puzzle game and each time hes like “I SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH THE UNICORN I SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH THE FUCKING UNICORN—“

-“It is unclear how long Cream Unicorn Cookie has been alive, but they are potentially one of the oldest in the game.”

Thought.

Cream unicorn cookie being a sort eldritch creature, more of a concept than a real person, representing the happiness and memories of being a child, its why they are so old, its bc theyre ageless and cant rlly die, additionally maybe they knew most of the cookies from when they were children but when they grew up they couldn’t see them again and forgot about them

They’ve been there since the beginning but no one remembers them because they’re only a memory of childhood and that pure heart you had when you were a child fades as you age

-I don’t remember if we ever see pure vanilla as a kid, but my brain immediately thought about the two meeting, Cream remembers him and is very happy, Pure doesn’t remember them and is very confused and uncomfortable and cream isnt very happy that pure and everyone else don’t remember them

Cream is very insistent that theyve met

Cream: You DO remember me! I know you do! Remember the carousel! You loved it! We were best friends! You have to remember!

Pure: No, I would have remembered that! We never met…!

I think after a while, cream starts to get angry when no one remembers them, they feel like they’re owed SOMETHING, they helped all of them so much and not a single one of them remembers them, it frustrates them

They get a bit desperate on convincing and proving to pure that they’ve met, that they’re friends

Being alone for that long messes with your senses, they probably don’t even realize how long it’s really been

They probably get rlly easily and overly attached to others, unhealthily of course

-[Shadow milk and Cream Unicorn toxic yaoi]

-I imagine cream looks at the kids who’ve grown up with a sort of sadness, they aren’t “pure” anymore, they don’t have that innocence and are jaded by the harshness of the world, they wish they kept them by their side so they wouldn’t have to grow up, they cling to the past and don’t understand that you NEED to grow and move on eventually

And what happens when cream unicorn ‘grows up’ will they cease to exist, because something greater entirely? They don’t know, and that’s what scares them, they’re the embodiment of childhood, if they have to move on from that, what even are they?

And if they’re not around who will be there to help the kids when they come to cookieland, when they need them one day, sure no one has shown up in so long but they might! They can’t grow up, they have to sit there and wait, wait for someone to eventually show up

Cream unicorn is basically a child in a grown up’s body, terrified and unwilling to grow up and move on

-Cream unicorn sees shadow and thinks “is that me? Is that who I am going to be?” And it scares them, is that how the kids see them? Because shadow milk is the result of what happens when you don’t move on

Cream unicorn doesn’t want kids to be afraid of them, is why they let apple cookie and co leave in the first place, they want to be that comfort, that blanket you hold when it’s thundering at night, but the more desperate they become for love and any sort of companionship they realizes that they aren’t the blanket anyone, they are the thunder, they’re the one who is driving everyone way, it’s all them

Imagine the kid their trying to get stay with them screams at them, they look terrified and scream at them like bloody murder desperately just trying to get away from them and it finally hits them a bit, they’re stunned, not even knowing how to react

-this song and mikages arc in general are heavy cream unicore

“Freezing cold in the dark, puppets become human, is in the way of everyone”

“Ah just tell to me when and where is it that I am?”

“Destiny! Formless! Illusive! *Stagnating!* I am an imaginary living body waiting for the end”

“I need more time in this world, I will never be resting, clinging to existence as a hallowed out form”

Stagnating is really the word to describe Cream Unicorn honestly, theyre clinging to something that isn’t there anymore, they aren’t needed anymore, theyve served their purpose but they dont want to rest, they need needs more time, they needs to be there for some imaginary child that might need them one day, they can’t grow up, they can’t leave, not yet

-I think Shadow Milk will make Cream worse, and Pure Vanilla could possibly fix them,

-Apple cookie is the only person cream unicorn really trusts so imagine she sees cream unicorn cookie becoming worse and tries to help them not realizing how much danger she’s putting herself in by doing that

And imagine if Shadow Milk messes with Cream Unicorns memories to make him believe that Apple cookie hates their guts, they couldn’t handle it…At all.

[tmasc-confessions]

I think im scared to transition because i think that if i get too close to manhood im going to loose all my friends. Ive been on the receiving end of many a „all men suck- except for you youre fine“ like thats supposed to make me feel better, do you genuinely think all men suck or do you see me as a man you cant have it both ways. I think it doesnt help that i originally came out as non binary so i think a lot of people saw me coming out the second time as just a pronoun shift when its like No im a guy and i want to be treated like one please.

And then its also stuff like the whole „man vs bear“ thing and i dont mean to discount anyones experinces or anything or talk over anyone, there were people who were taking it so seriously and couldnt seem to grasp the concept that saying „i would rather be lost in the woods with a bear than you“ could possibly be hurtful even if its meant as a joke. And when most of the affirmations of your manhood come from being „jokingly“ accused of misogyny, i say i like the male form of a pokemon more than the female form i get called a misogynist, i accidentally interrupt someone in conversation and get made fun of for „talking over women“ but if i turn around and make that exact kind of joke back at them they look at me confused and act like that couldnt possibly be a joke. it makes it feel like that must be how they actually see me and if i dare to actively reenforce my own masculinity then i will be by proxy reenforcing those ideas about me and prove to people they must be true. I dont really know how to resolve this and if its just something ill have to accept

Transition should be for yourself, not for others. If you don't feel okay transitioning under those circumstances then that's your choice.

However, keep in mind that if and when you do transition, there will always be people out there who will Be Normal about it. It just might be a little hard to find them, but I promise, they're there. :)

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest

Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here

Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭

It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony

[zaacoy]

a redraw but only kind of

[skunkes]

[nerdyspies]

thank you starkid for telling jon matteson to tone down his pleas and sobs in the cast recording of npmd cuz if i had to hear richie's voice cracking and shaking as he begs max to spare him everytime i wanted to listen to that song id kill myself

[thermodynamic-comedian]

genuinely why are you not allowed to decline someone's affection. why do you have to trap yourself in situations and relationships you don't enjoy in order to protect someone else's feelings. it's not really fun to be 'friends' or 'partners' with someone out of moral obligation. it's not fun for anyone involved. but you have to stay, because they mentioned they have abandonment issues once and now you feel like cutting ties would be the most evil fucked up thing you could ever do. it's not my fault if i don't like someone. it's not. but it feels like it is.

[solplease]

meet cassian :]

close ups and more info under the cut!

gloomiest guy you’ll ever meet

pathetic loser

he’s an artist 

comes from a rich family

he barely leaves his house, he stays inside a LOOOOOT

insane attachment issues

clingy and dependant yandere

he guilt trips a lot (isn’t really aware of it lmao) can be really manipulative without trying unfortunately

texts you constantly but if you don’t answer back in like 5 minutes he starts freaking out 

sometimes he’s normal enough but if you take too long he WILL lose it

doesn't like it when you talk to other people, why can't you just talk to him? is he not good enough for you? what's so interesting about other people anyway?

he hates stairs (he's fallen down and up the stairs WAYYY too many times)

shy (lmao ok) and introverted (has a really hard time talking to people)

has a mascot! (his name is PopUp :] he made him for a school project and just ended up liking him a lot lol)

sopping wet cat

don’t be mean to him, he doesn’t like it, even as a joke

doesn’t get much social interaction cause he stays inside a lot

WAYYYY more comfortable texting, he’s like a totally different person when you’re texting him

spams a lot. like a lot

used to be a lot more outgoing and social

wishes you could be by his side 24/7

he’s sad a lot of the time

feels unloved, please shower him in love

really pessimistic when it comes to himself

he’s really passionate about art

you and art are the two things that make him extremely happy

if you thought nox was tired, meet cassian! he has an even worse sleeping schedule than nox

he’ll do ANYTHING to keep you by his side

so he can and will kidnap you! lol!

is also a stalker… great..!

has probably installed a camera somewhere in your room (um??)

you’re probably one of the only people that can convince him to leave his room

really loves shoujo manga, has fantasized about being the perfect male lead for you (he really wants a romance like that, only with you) 

he's a huge romantic, he wants the two of you to have a happy life together

so please don’t leave him. please

takes a lot of walks at night, don’t worry he doesn’t spend ALL of his time inside (he wishes he could tho.)

he wants to have his happy ending with you <3

[skitskatdacat63]

One makes him up, so the other can break him down.

This is a little terrifying but hello!! Posted my first fic on ao3!! I would've saved the illustrations for the fic's eyes only, but I'm too happy with them haha. Hope you'll still go on to read regardless!!

As always, my thoughts and progress, since I can't help myself:

I'm soooooo proud of these. I never ever really do dramatic lighting, so I'm really surprised that I pulled it off.

It's surreal actually posting this because for a while, I've thought about how if I ever post a fic, I'll have to make illustrations too because I can't do anything not full force. Look at me now! I'm shocked. Also didn't think I'd finish it tonight, but here it sits before you nevertheless(though as always, I'm writing this past my bedtime before class, time efficient as always.) So with that being said, here are some notes, though if I had known I'd be writing this so soon, I would've prepared more lol.

First of all, I hope it's clear both of these are Mark's perception. Gah, the fact that his face is the only one you can see clearly. The first is obviously him unwillingly fantasizing about what exactly went down last night.

Aghhhhh the difference in colors and settings of the two drawings is so important to me. The warmth and intimacy of the bed behind curtains in the first one, and the coldness and openess of the second. It's so clear Mark feels like he's been distanced, like he's been ousted. It's like he's been thrown outside on a cold winter's day, no longer able to feel the heat from the comfortable warm stove inside.

Mark was probably assigned to Seb bcs he has a much greater appreciation for the Spanish etiquette, which Seb has very little interest in. He'll abide by it when he absolutely has to. But he's just a very non-typical Emperor. People find it charming so it's not a public death sentence for him, but it is an issue. Thus, Mark is there to keep him in line. Though important to note that when Fernando, who has an equal if not greater respect for the showmanship of etiquette, realizes Mark is interested in that as well, they start warming up to each other.

The inherent disrespect of Fernando just. Throwing Seb's clothing onto the floor. Meanwhile he probably took like, 20 minutes folding his up(that's what Seb was gonna tell Mark at the end of the fic.) Borderline ripping off Seb's clothes only to edge him. Its not even like the ripping off the clothes is because of passion or anything, he's deliberately being an asshole. Don't worry Nandl, Seb's turned on by it!

So sorry to marknando fans if their dynamic feels like a complete 180 haha. Its not like I'm like, they actually hate each other!! It's just their relationship under completely different circumstances. They're like two dogs in a dog fight, they don't have any real reason to hate each other, but they're put against each other regardless. They don't understand their hatred, just know that they have it and that they're supposed to have it. The inherent hatred the mistress has for the spouse, and vice versa. If they actually were able to talk without barriers, they'd realize they actually get along pretty well. They kinda just hate each other because of their respective relationships to Seb. And then there's Seb who's mostly completely oblivious to his effect, though of course plays with it a bit.

Seb's marriage completely recontextualizes their relationship in Mark's eyes. Though there's something incredibly sado-masochistic about the way he can't blame Seb for it at all. He's a loyal dog after all. But when it was just them, he was obviously Seb's main companion and lover. Seb definitely slept with people on the side, but Mark brushed that off: 1. Bcs its very period typical. 2. He was the main, they were the side, what more needs to be said! But now *he's* the side piece, and is left wondering if their relationship was down to proximity alone. Not to pull a Mark and completely excuse Seb, but it's not. Just very different perceptions of love and relationships. And again, as I've mentioned before, he was raised to always be the most important person in the room, so he obviously has very different understandings, especially since he's always the center.

NANDL!!!!!! In my Habsburg book I've been reading lately, they randomly referred to one of them affectionately as "Nandl" and it's stuck in my head ever since. Can we start a movement to canonize that as an official Fernando nickname? I'm sooooo fond of it, I litrally ended the fic that way just so I could shoehorn that nickname in.

Speaking of the ending. It was really tough, I almost wanted to have Fernando burst in, looking for his ring, and then coming across whatever that is. But I didn't want to disrupt their moment anymore, it felt cruel. Though shame I couldn't mention that the reason why Seb's pants are nowhere to be found is because Fernando accidentally put them on and didn't realize till he was out of the room.

*I FORGOT TO POINT OUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS! Truly the danger of writing a post while falling asleep. There's something so incredibly funny to me the way they're talking so refined and then Seb just throws out: "that guy." It's a way to show his own disrespect of Fernando, not even using his name, implying he's just some guy(nur ein Kerl.) I laughed writing it cause it reminds me of the random dry humor anecdotes I've read lately.

[rafrfr]

What my friend nicknamed each LU boy:

(She never learned the fandom names nor has she picked up a Legend of Zelda game. I forced her to read LU because I wanted her to)

The friend in question: @theachskid

Warriors: Green, because of his tunic. I asked and she said "I saw green so I said green". I almost had a heart attack when she said that but he's Green I guess.

Time: Bluehead, because of the marks on his forehead. I don't...I don't know.

Four: Laurence. She thought Four was a girl lmao. When she first saw Four she asked if he was a girl and I just went "...yes😈" to see what would happen. She was so upset when she found out Four was not a girl because she loved lesbian Four x Dot. I regret nothing.

Twilight: Insert Name Here. I hate it. I hate saying it so much. It's too long but she said she couldn't think of anything else.

Wild: Bonbon. I can't explain it. It's so...what?? Why??? I never asked her and I don't want to know why she chose Bonbon

Sky: Shadow. This is where my second heart attack comes in. She said it was because he looked so emo. The Shadow. The (probably) main bad guy in LU? Shadow Link? Four Swords? I hate calling him Shadow when I talk to her about him for obvious reasons.

Hyrule: Mistake. I can't explain it. She says it's because he looks like a mistake (I'm so sorry Riri) and whenever she reads his lines it's always in the most flamboyant voice she can muster. I hate it but it's perfect.

Legend: Fortnite. This is because when we were deciding names, she was just naming stuff in her room and I said "No, choose something better" and she chose Fortnite. It's perfect.

Wind: Frederick. When she first saw Wind in the first chapter, she laughed and called him Frederick. Wind was the first one she named and was her favorite for a long time (Until she started simping for Twilight so bad. It's so bad)