#<< tag for the ones I don't know about yet- in this case Unnamed!!

[underdark-dreams]

[Poll results]

A smut piece for Rolan that became a 7k word fic. I don't know what it is about him--I just need him to be happy. 🖤 For anyone else who feels the same!

In Amber

Rolan can't remember what made him this way. Bitter, insufferable. He only knows he wants things with her to be different. A series of encounters between Rolan and the person who is teaching his black heart how to hope.

Tags: Fem Unnamed Tav, Explicit Sexual Content, Mild Hurt/Comfort | Word Count: 7,033 [Read on AO3]

The beloved hero of the Grove has saved them all from the Shadow Curse, apparently.

Word spreads fast, and it's all Rolan hears the Harpers talking about in their rush to take final leave of Last Light Inn. Nearly all had gone to Moonrise Towers with the Druid, but a small group stayed behind with Isobel in case the fight turned to the worst.

Rolan was the first one packed. With the shadows lifting, all he wants to do is travel the road to Baldur's Gate and finally reach his destiny. Leave this hollow place behind him.

At last they are finally moving in the right direction again--the three of them along with Lakrissa and Alfira, led by the Harper rangers.

He glances at Cal and Lia walking beside him. They're in the middle of chatting about the first things they want to do when they reach the lower city. Rolan can't seem to stop checking that they’re still there–as if he might look to find them gone once more.

He hasn't seen their savior since the night she brought his siblings back to him. That made twice now that she'd saved all three of their lives. Few things bristled against his nature more than owing a debt that couldn't be repaid. Rolan didn't like the feeling of being under anyone's thumb.

She wouldn't even accept a reward for saving his brother and sister's lives, just waved him away with a smile on her lips. The memory frustrated him endlessly. He couldn't understand why she took such an interest in helping him and his family. He was even beginning to consider that goodness of heart might really exist…at least when it came to hers.

Half of his mind felt tormented by her inscrutable kindness. The other half thought he'd very much like to kiss her.

Before he could brush away the alarming idea, the Harpers in front threw up a cheer. Rolan looked around to see the commotion.

She and her companions were covered in more blood than he'd seen on them yet, but they were still standing as they led their small army down the path from Moonrise Towers. 

His eyes light automatically to her face–it shines with a radiant smile, but Rolan recognizes the way her shoulders slump under her armor. He is flooded with relief. At least she's alive. 

Their groups converge on the road outside the tower. Everything is a jumble of cheers and shouts as the Harpers jostle forward to reunite with their comrades; a man he's never met claps Rolan’s shoulder hard enough to make him wince.

"Go on, then," says Lia beside him. She's following his gaze knowingly. "While you've got a chance."

He only manages to throw his sister a scowl before she trots away. Is it that obvious?

He decides to take her advice after all. She was right that this could very well be the final time their paths converged. Baldur's Gate was a large city, and whatever grand adventures their savior would face next, he doubted they would involve spending much time browsing magical emporiums.

She gave him a little wave as he approached, the kind one might give an old friend. It pricked his conscience. He'd thanked her for saving Cal and Lia, true, but his mind tossed up all the countless other times he'd been needlessly unpleasant toward her. 

"Seems we owe you thanks yet again," he said, hoping it came off sincere. 

She shook her head wryly. "I've never done any of it alone, you know that. Every one of these people fought like hells in there." 

Standing close, his nose was hit by the thick tang of blood that coated on her armor. How much of it was hers?

"You should go to see Isobel," Rolan insisted. He'd drag her straight to the cleric himself, if she'd let him.

"Do I look that bad?" She was teasing, but there was a strain to it. "As long as I make it to my bedroll in the next hour, I'll be fine. You're sweet to worry, though."

"Stop saying things like that," Rolan snapped, unable to contain himself. "You're so nice, and I'm just a bastard."

Her eyes widened at him, taken aback. "I don't think you're a bastard."

Rolan looked down at his hands. "That's what makes you so nice," he said. He had to get to the point. "Look…I know I haven't been the easiest person to get along with. I've been rude and awful, ever since the Grove, and you didn't deserve it. So." He straightened up properly. "I'm sorry for that."

It's far less eloquent than he'd rehearsed, but she seems to understand the sentiment.

"Don’t worry about it," she tells him. "You feel responsibility for the people you love. That can make anyone forget themselves for a while." 

"I suppose," is all he can manage to say. How well she seems to speak what's in his mind.

Her Githyanki companion approaches with a clear intention to speak with her, and Rolan turns away, not wanting to intrude on the company of her true friends.

"Rolan, wait–" 

The flutter in his stomach humiliates him. Will he ever get used to her saying his name?

She rummages in the pack at her waist. "Almost forgot. I found something–well, stole, but it doesn't matter now." 

A fist is held out to him, closed around something. 

Uncertain what to expect, Rolan offers his hand. Her fingers graze softly against his as they deposit something small and hard. He looks down at his palm.

"A rock," he says, deadpan.

"Not just any rock, it's a topaz."

Rolan blinks at her. "And…what am I supposed to do with this, exactly?"

"I don't know," she shrugs. "Keep it, or don't. It just made me think of you. Matches your eyes." The admission brought a flush of pink to her cheeks. 

He felt his heart skip at the sight, followed by a jolt of fear–as if she might be able to see the hope blooming inside his chest.

He turns away with a tut. "Absurd."

She gave only a satisfied laugh before taking her leave. Once she'd retreated out of sight, he tucked the gem securely into the folds of his robe.

-

Rolan has long abandoned the fantasy that he is his master's apprentice. 

Whipping boy would be a more accurate job description. Perhaps test subject. He is trapped in an impossible game that he can never win, and his highest purpose is to be the canvas where Lorroakan paints his next magical experiment. 

His mind shudders at the way the red wizard's eyes rest on him during "lessons": casually devoid of all concern or care. No matter how hard Rolan concentrates, no matter what he answers, it won't be good enough. And then the pain will follow. 

The mindless Constructs are worth far more to his master than he is. 

There was a time when someone made Rolan feel like he could deserve more, but that time is gone now. All he can hope is to learn enough, train hard enough, and one day claw his way through to something better.

Today, however, will offer the chance of a reprieve. He's been sent to deliver a message on foot across the lower city. Weeks ago he would've seen the task as an insult. Now he wonders whether it might take all morning, if he's lucky. 

If he often feels like a drowning man, these moments of escape are like a sweet gasp of air. He walks with his face tilted up to soak in the sun's warmth. 

The marks of abuse that paint his features have long stopped troubling him. An occasional passerby might stare at the bruises, but since the Absolute army's march, most Baldurians give Tieflings a wide enough berth not to notice. One wearing fine robes is no different to them.

As he passes the bridge to the Counting House, his eyes land on her figure. He stops short in surprise, earning himself a rude remark about clumsy devils from the woman behind him.

Rolan would recognize her face in any crowd. She stood on the bridge in the middle of some kind of confrontation between two women; one of them a beggar, by the state of her, the other finely dressed.

As he watches he very clearly sees her invite the rich one to "piss off", to the woman's indignation.

An affectionate chuckle escapes him. Then he winces, hand rising to the cracked skin on his lip. He tastes a drop of blood.

Swift panic grips his chest. She can't fucking see him like this, not once–more broken and pathetic than ever. Not after how many times she's already played rescuer to him. He cringes in shame at the thought.

At least she hasn't found him trapped behind his desk, there's a chance he can slip away unnoticed yet–

"Rolan?" 

He missed his moment by a hair. It's unfortunate that hearing her voice after all this time freezes him straight to the cobblestones, or he might consider dashing away like a coward.

"I thought that was you! I'd recognize those horns anywhere." 

Resigned, he turns back toward her. But he keeps his face cast down toward the pavement.

"What do you want?" He asks stiffly.

"Hello to you too," she laughs, and he stifles the impulse to watch her do so. "It's been a while. Cal and Lia, they're good?"

"Thanks to you," he concedes. No thanks to me.

"I'm glad to hear it." He watches her boots step closer, tentative. "Everything okay with you?"

She can never just leave him alone, can she. Why does she insist on caring when so many others don't bother?

"Fine, busy with my studies," Rolan deflects. "I've got to get back to the Sundries."

There's a tight pause, and then her voice grows firm. "Look at me."

He curses himself for being unable to disregard her, and for his eyes wanting to take her in despite everything. Slowly, he raises his head to meet her gaze.

Her face is somehow lovelier than he remembered. As he watches, it shatters in shock. He can see her eyes flit from mark to mark as if taking inventory.

"Who did this to you?" She whispers, aghast.

He turns away, unable to hold her gaze. "Believe me, it's nothing that can be helped."

"Rolan–" Her hand extends toward his jaw.

If the thought of her touch thrills him, the thought of being touched by her with pity is unbearable.

"I don't need your help," he spits, slapping the hand away with his own. "And I certainly don't need your damned sympathy!"

The shock and hurt on her face are the last things Rolan sees before he turns on his heel.

-

The archwizard was not pleased with his late return. That night, Rolan comes home with a large fresh bloom of purple over his left eye.

Lia's already limited patience snaps. She flies into his face with angry tears and threats that she'll march straight into Lorroakan's tower herself with shortsword in hand. Cal stands between them, pleading for peace, eyes wide and sad.

"Enough," Rolan orders them both. "Don't you see we're nothing but hellspawn refugees to these people? My position is the only thing keeping us under this roof, the only thing." 

He doesn't stop Lia as she storms out–she didn’t take her sword with her. The door rattles on its hinges as it slams behind her. He pushes wordlessly past Cal to his room, and collapses in a heap against his bed pillows.

His face aches enough that he knows sleep won’t come easy tonight. One hand reaches into the robe at his chest, and he slowly pulls out the small amber stone. His fingers turn it over and over as he closes his eyes once more to escape into imagining.

In some other world, he could've been the one powerful enough to save and protect her. Even be the person who makes her smile. 

He would not be the pathetic, broken man that he is. He could feel worthy to return her tender touches with his own, drawing her close to him instead of pushing her away. Feel her lips on his own…her hands circling his shoulders… 

Rolan rouses himself to stare down at the topaz shining in his palm. He feels his rotten heart crumple. 

He can't remember what made him this way. Bitter, insufferable. He doesn't like the man he is. He wants to be different–he wants things with her to be different. 

The stone grows warm in his fist as he clenches it. She crept deep into his heart a long, long time ago. He'll probably never get the chance to tell her, so he might as well admit it to himself.

And even if he did see her again–what chance did he have that she might feel the same? None. She single-handedly managed to improve every part of his life that she touched. What could he possibly offer her?

In this world, precious little.

-

Lorroakan of Ramazith lay dead on the ground. 

Rolan felt a numb hatred as he stood over his former master, eyes frozen wide in the final shock of death. Months from now the expression might have given him cause to laugh. Today, Rolan can only stare mutely.

One more sick megalomaniac who possessed more power than Rolan could have dreamed of wielding…brought down by his insane, insatiable lust for more. Always always more. For what? In the end, he was just another corpse.

It was she who dispatched him, of course. Why wouldn't it be? 

After all this time, it was perfectly inevitable that she and her friends would be the ones to fly in and deliver him from yet another tragic end. He felt like he was stuck on a wheel going around and around. He couldn't escape her, either in reality or in his own mind.

Rolan comes to himself and looks down at his robes. Blood splatters his front and soaks up to his elbows; a crust of frost coats his boots, from whose spell he can't remember. All at once an overwhelming tiredness soaks into his bones.

The dream of destiny that had carried him here…had it ever existed, really?

He decides to slip away while she's distracted, speaking urgently to one of her companions. Her plans probably extend far outside this room and beyond, but this is where his path reaches a bloody dead end.

He allows himself one last look at her profile before stepping quietly to the portal. He wants only a bath and the release of sleep.

His feet drag along the streets of the lower city as they carry his body home, ignoring any frightened stares at the state of his clothes. Silent as he can, he slips through the front door and down the hall to his room. Cal and Lia's voices carry from the kitchen. He'll face their questions when he wakes. 

In the end, exhaustion and relief overtake him. There will be no more lessons. He falls to bed in a heap and drifts off, still wearing his master's blood on his hands.

-

In retrospect: letting Lia discover him face-down in his bed covered in dried blood was not the smartest decision Rolan had ever made. 

After he'd groggily yelled himself hoarse enough to stop her screams, a sharp pang of conscience drove through him like ice. During the time he thought the two of them were lost to the Shadowlands, he wanted nothing more than to drink himself to an early death.

He never wanted either of them to feel that emptiness. For once, he let Lia hold him tight without protest.

With a few days' rest, and some of Cal's better efforts in the kitchen to date, Rolan's spirits had rallied sufficiently that he felt well enough to leave the house. Even to attempt a cautious return to his place of employment. 

To his surprise and distinct confusion, no one at Sorcerous Sundries had a thing to say about Lorroakan's disappearance, or about any possible employee involvement. 

If anything, the mood around the shop was noticeably lighter. He even caught Tolna humming a soft little tune to her bookshelves. “The tomes never respected him, you know,” she whispered to Rolan.

And once he got over the bizarre sight of Lorroakan's projection, hovering with a vacant smile behind his former desk, he found a perverse humor in it. Who was the fucking errand boy now?

Most of all, Rolan found himself free to finally do what he came to this place for: study magic. He had no archmage master, but he was intelligent, and he now had free access to all of the tomes in the tower library that Lorroakan had enjoyed dangling under his nose.

These days he preferred to spend his days alone in the upstairs, absorbed in theory and practice. His skills grew, and so did his confidence in himself.

If he also felt drawn to the spot because it was the last place he'd seen her…well, he was far too late on that score. He could've finally confessed the feelings that had long been bursting through his chest. 

Instead he had slunk away in silence, too scared to stand in front of her and admit how misguided he'd been all this time. She must think very little of him. She probably didn't think of him at all.

Who knew if she was even still in Baldur's Gate? He searched every face he encountered on the streets, hoping for an answer. It had become a reflex.

At the end of another day, he trudged alone across the twilight square. His hands ached from practicing the gestures for elemental conjurement over and over. One of the Steel Watchers clomped mindlessly past, looking about like Rolan felt. 

The thought of going home filled him with weariness. Cal and Lia's cheerful bickering always annoyed him, in an affectionate way. But tonight, he truly felt he might not be up to it. 

He felt sad. Lonely.

Glancing up, he found that his legs had carried him to the steps of the Elfsong. A drink…that would soothe his sorrows for an hour or two, at least.

The doors swung open to usher a wave of stimulation over his senses. Warm firelight, the smell of roasting venison, tables packed with conversation and clinking glasses. 

He was grateful that many others seemed to have had the same idea this particular night. It made it easier to slip through the crowded taproom unnoticed, catching meaningless slices of gossip and flirtatious banter on his way to the bar.

The surly bartender didn't look overjoyed to be serving a Tiefling. He took Rolan's gold without comment, however, and left him alone with his wine.

As the alcohol spread a welcome relaxation through his limbs, Rolan passed the time by idly watching the groups around him. 

A halfling sat alone with shoulders slumped, staring down his tankard as if he wished to drown in it. Across the way, a large bearded man was leaning across the table in open pursuit of his female companion. Clearly getting nowhere, from her expression. But he looked far too drunk to notice.

In front of the great hall fireplace, a pale elf sat in conversation with a pretty dark-haired young woman. 

Rolan's brow furrowed; he knew those two. His eyes quickly scanned over the room's faces until he found her.

She was removed a ways from her usual traveling companions, seated at a small table in the far corner. He watched her swirl the cup in her hand idly. Her eyes followed the liquid’s pattern, but the look behind them was leagues away.

For the first time in days, Rolan felt his heavy heart lift. She was exactly the person he wanted to be with tonight. Even if it was just sharing a drink.

This was it, he told himself. He had to speak with her or he'd regret it the rest of his life.

But first–he knocked back a very large mouthful.

His heart pounded in his ears as he drew closer to her. With each step he expected she might look up, piercing him with those eyes that visited most of his dreams. But she remained transfixed by the wine even when he drew up beside her table.

Improvising, he cleared his throat. "Hello."

She glanced up at him in pleasant surprise. "Oh!"

They stared at each other for an awkward silence. Then, somehow, he found himself laughing with her.

"Sorry, it's so strange. I was just thinking about you," she said, her face brightening.

The fact that he occupied any space in her brain would consume him later, but he shoved it aside for the moment.

"Mind if I join you?"

She patted the chair next to her. As he sat, he wondered if the spot had been a tactical choice on her part. Their table had a view of the whole room and both exits, yet the wall behind offered a sense of privacy. 

"You're not drinking with your friends tonight," Rolan observed.

"Just taking a little break. We're celebrating another family reunion," she explained, gesturing her glass toward the group around the blazing hearth. 

Rolan looked back over his shoulder. He recognized the one-eyed young man with curling horns, but not the older one whose hand was clasped on his shoulder. Quite clearly father and son to anyone with eyes.

"I'm glad for them," Rolan said. To his surprise, he found he truly meant it. The Absolute had ripped apart so many families in so many ways, including his, leaving the lower streets flooded with the hopeless and broken and displaced. He counted himself and his siblings incredibly lucky, and it heartened him to see another happy scene among so much misery.

“You know–” She eyed him curiously. "I was hoping I’d see you. You ran off before we could talk that day."

He looked down at his drink. "I know. I've regretted it since then. At the time, it was just…a lot to take in."

Her eyes narrowed, but not at him. "I hope you don't mind me saying, but that man can burn in Avernus for all I care. For what he did to you. For what he tried to do to Aylin."

Rolan recalled the runic circle in Lorroakan's library, the one whose mysterious power had at first awed and enthralled him. And then he'd seen the aasimar with the shining wings, and watched the demented hunger in Lorroakan's eyes, and the horrible realization had run through him like a sickness.

"Lorroakan was a monster," he agreed. "I just wish I'd seen it sooner. Or even found the strength to open my own eyes."

He felt a hand rest on his forearm.

"I saw what you went through to get here,” she said. “It’s natural that you thought you had to see it all through, no matter what.” 

Rolan said nothing for a while, just let her kindness soothe into his chest like a balm.

“On the bright side,” he added suddenly, “He did keep an excellent library. I’ve learned more from one of his books than I ever did from him.”

“That’s because you’re a proper talented wizard,” she laughed. “And he was an idiot.”

“A dead idiot.”

“To that,” she said with a lift of her cup, and they both drank. He noticed she used her free hand, not moving the one that laid on his arm.

When he caught her eye after, she was watching him with a smile. "You look so well, Rolan."

He knew what she meant. The last time she saw him, his face had been dappled in marks and bruises from Lorroakan's brutal instruction, with more that she couldn't see under his robes.

Now, the last mark across his cheekbone had faded almost to nothing. He hoped it would take the memories of the meaningless pain he'd endured along with it.

"Thank you," he said simply. "So do you."

He meant it; he realized now that he'd only ever seen her dressed for combat. Tonight she wore soft hide pants tucked into her hunting boots, a linen shirt half unlaced at her collarbones. It softened her. Close beside him and bathed in firelight, she set his heart racing again.

Perhaps it was her closeness or her touch that gave him the courage, or perhaps it was just the wine. He shifted his arm slightly to capture her hand in his.

"No one else has ever shown me the kindness you have. Not even Cal and Lia, though I do love them." 

She watched him speak in silence, and he gazed back at her, as if the answers to everything might be found in her face. 

"I don't understand you,” he said earnestly. “Why you've kept giving me chances. You've been so much more generous with me than I deserve. I've insulted you, yelled at you, I've been an absolute unbearable prick–"

Before he could think, she leaned in to silence him with her lips.

The kiss lasted forever and only a second all at once. Rolan closed his eyes, breathing in the faint smell of lavender on her skin.

Before he was anywhere near ready, she gently pulled away.

"Because," she murmured, "you're a good man, Rolan. And I like you." Her words, the lingering taste of her on his lips, they made his head spin. He felt like he was watching the door to a new world swing open before his eyes.

Before anything else, Rolan had to kiss her again. He released her hand to smooth the hair back from her face, watching the way she tilted into his touch, and gently guided her toward him.

It was deeper this time; he tasted the heady wine on her mouth, her breath a soft tickle against his cheek. As his fingers tangled her hair, he felt her hand wind sweetly over his shoulder, holding on to him.

A wet stripe flashed across his lips. His mouth gasped open in surprise, allowing her tongue to softly meet his, then draw slowly over his pointed teeth. 

The unexpected sensations brought his mind back to reality, and to the fact that they were in a public place. With effort, he wrenched himself out of the kiss. They breathed against each other for a moment. 

"I've got a room upstairs," she murmured. "If you want to?" Her cheeks were flushed from firelight and wine, and possibly even from him.

Whether or not he wanted to was no question: her words sent a fervent rush of blood to his groin. But first, he mustered enough control to hold her back from him for a moment. Her lips were parted in question.

"I adore you," he said. "I think I have for a long time. It's–very important to me that you know that. Before anything else." Even if the anything else was a dream that had kept him awake more nights than he could count.

Her soft hand cupped his cheek; he thought he might combust if she didn't say something. "Thank Gods," she laughed breathily. "I swore you hated me for a while there."

"I had no idea what to do with my feelings for you, I was a fucking idiot." It was all tumbling out of him now. He opened his mouth to continue, but her fingertips went to his lips.

 "Rolan–" Her voice was full of relief, and he was charmed to see the blush across her face deepen. "I feel the same way. I really, really like you."

His rotten heart could have flipped with joy. 

“Now.” She cocked her head askance, and he felt her fingers twine with his. "Make it up to me?"

Yes. Please, please, yes. He nodded in a daze, reeling like he'd sustained a blow to the head. All he could feel was the elation and anxiety swirling around and around in his stomach as he followed her toward the staircase, let her lead him by the hand like a lovesick idiot.

As they passed her companions he pointedly averted his eyes; he couldn't afford to lose any of the nerve building inside him. He'd need every bit of it in a moment.

The dark staircase seemed to ascend forever. Part of him wanted it to–he was no virgin, but the hand she held tight was shaking with anxiety. He wanted to make this perfect.

Overthinking proved pointless. The moment the heavy door closed behind them, he found himself pinned against it with a thud by the length of her body.

His involuntary groan was lost in their kiss. She was everywhere around him at once: hands pinning his shoulders back against the wood, hips grinding into his thigh with no pretense, her tongue pressing against his lips and slipping past his teeth to taste him. She moaned against his mouth, and the sound reverberated from his head to his feet.

His erection was practically instantaneous. He hooked his thumbs over her hip bones, sharp nails finding purchase in her pants, and rolled himself against the yielding softness between her legs. 

Whatever release the pressure provided multiplied it tenfold. Desire coursed through him, burning in his veins hotter than he thought possible. 

The maneuver brought an approving hum from her throat, however. Encouraged, he ground her into him again, and again, as slowly as his body could be convinced to go.

Her hands released his shoulders to rake upward through his hair, pulling his face toward her.

Pulling him deeper into the room, he realized. He stumbled slightly against something; tasting her lips was infinitely more important than breaking the kiss to look where he was going. He trusted her lead, impatient to reach whatever destination she had in mind so he could freely explore her.

Their connected bodies bumped up against the edge of something soft. She pulled away, and his immediate disappointment rapidly turned around as he felt her fingers fumbling with the clasps of his robe. He guided her hands, struggling at the same time to kick off one boot and then the other. 

As his robes pooled on the floor, her palms pressed him away for a moment.

Rolan stood frozen and panting in his trousers. She licked her kiss-swollen lips as she looked over his bare shoulders, his chest. When her eyes reached the obvious hardness straining in his pants, she let out a delicious sound.

Rolan's hands grabbed for her of their own volition. They slipped under the hem of her shirt, against the bare skin of her waist, and wrenched the garment up over her head in one motion.

To look at her directly was almost too much–he felt love and desire churning together inside of him. "Beautiful," was all he could say.

He buried his face in her shoulder instead, fang-like teeth brushing over her skin as he left a trail of kisses along the curve of her neck. She let out a gasp when his hand gently stroked her breast.

"You're so warm," she murmured into his hair. To him, she was pleasantly cool; he shivered when her fingers traced the small set of ridges that ran from his collarbone to his sternum.

But he needed more of her. He hooked both thumbs over her waistband and tugged ineffectually. She quickly took over, shucking them off with a shimmying motion.

The sight of her bare, for him, was almost enough to make Rolan come then and there. He reached out to her hips to steady himself. She was so much more divine than anything his paltry imagination could have conjured.

Through his blazing arousal, he was barely aware of the hands unlacing his pants until she tugged them down to finally let his cock spring free.

A sigh of relief escaped him. He watched her take him in, her eyes half-lidded with arousal. 

"You're incredible," she whispered. Then her arms slid around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss.

He tried to concentrate on her mouth, but the way his cock brushed and nudged against her skin every time she moved was taking over his brain.

With a motion of her hips, she captured his length between her thighs and rocked forward and back, sliding her dripping wet center over his cock. The revelation of her own state of desire sent his mind spiraling with want.

Rolan let out what could only be called a whimper. He clutched her to him, capturing her bottom lip between his teeth as firmly as he dared, as if she might suddenly disappear and leave him in an aching pile.

She made a pleased sound, then gave his shoulders a push. With his pants still around his thighs, he lost his balance–knees buckled as he fell backwards onto the mattress behind them.

He propped himself up on his elbows just in time to see her kneel on the floor in front of him. Her two hands pushed his knees apart, as far as the straining fabric would allow–

Rolan tried and failed to breathe normally, heart pounding in his ears. It felt like time was slowing to a crawl. Her eyes glanced from his face to the stiff erection between them. A droplet of moisture shone at its tip.

"Can I–?" She was asking him for permission, hands poised on his thighs, her expression heady with arousal.

"Anything," Rolan swore, and he meant it. She could do whatever the fuck she wanted to him right now. Before he could prepare himself, her mouth closed wetly around his tip. 

Truly, nothing could have readied him. He let out a gasp–his head dropped back as his hips rose involuntarily to seek more of her soft, cool mouth. 

He had scarcely adjusted before she took him in further, sliding her tongue down along his length to his very base–then slowly, achingly slowly, back up again.

He heard the rip of fabric as his nails gripped the bedding. He gathered the will to raise his head up to look.

Rolan was mesmerized by the sight of her lips wrapped around taught red skin, his length disappearing into her mouth and returning wet with saliva. She was working him over almost reverently slow, eyes closed as if tasting him.

Tasting herself on him. His cock twitched inside her mouth at the realization. She glanced up at him, releasing him from her lips with a soft, wet pop.

He could have groaned at the loss of her. Instead, he used the moment to work off his constraining pants and toss them away. Before she could reach for him again, Rolan pulled her up and onto his lap.

Her knees sank into the bed on either side as she straddled him, but she kept herself hovering well above him without contact. He pushed aside the ache between his legs to focus on more important things.

He leaned forward to press a soft kiss between her breasts, allowed his mouth to explore. She sighed with pleasure as he alternately licked and kissed across each curve, then drew sharp breath as his teeth sucked at the soft flesh under one breast. 

Her hands, at first resting on his shoulders, flew to grab two fistfuls of his hair. The sensation sent a shiver down his spine.

Rolan pulled away for a moment for admire the purple mark blooming on her breast. He glanced up as though looking for approval. She gave it, tugging his hair to tilt his face into a waiting kiss.

Ever so carefully…mindful of his fingertips, he placed the flat of his palm on the heat between her legs.

“Rolan–” she gasped, breaking away. 

The sound of his own name had never been dearer to him. He was run through with a thrill, and a fervent desire to do whatever it took to make her say it again.

  He massaged gentle circles into her, the base of his palm pressing against her clit in slow rhythm. Her wetness coated him with each stroke. She quaked under his touch, eyelashes fluttering, and his other arm circled her back to support her. He felt her lean against him without a second thought. Trusting completely.

“I can’t believe I have you,” he heard his voice say, perhaps to himself. 

As he spoke he felt the core of her tightening under his hand. Abruptly, her fingers closed around his wrist to still his ministrations. He froze, immediately afraid he had scratched her somehow. But her face shone with nothing but desire for him.

"On your back," she directed.

Rolan nearly pinched his tail under himself in his haste to obey. He swept his legs out from between hers and stretched out as she climbed over to straddle him. 

Now they were finally here, she wasted no time leaving space between them. Her hips rolled down onto him and drew the wet folds of her center across his tip. His entire length throbbed at the blessed return of her touch, the head of his cock burning against her. 

Smoothly, simply, she lowered herself onto him.

The shuddering exhale from his lips met against her moan of relief. Rolan willed himself to keep his eyes on hers, even as her inviting walls gripped him, even as he practically felt his pupils dilate with want. Her features relaxed into a state of pure, unadulterated satisfaction.

Then she started to move her hips.

She pushed her palms against his chest for leverage, riding his cock at a steady pace that felt entirely too slow. Whatever will he had to follow her lead was immediately tested; he was overcome with the need to touch her everywhere at once. 

Care forgotten, he gripped the soft flesh of her back with his fingertips. She cried out softly as his nails dragged from her shoulders to the base of her hips, but he felt her walls clench around him in response. His tail curled up and around her waist of its own volition, holding her as she took him in further with each bounce of her hips.

She gasped and fell over him, hands braced on either side. She was already losing control. He felt his own release closing in, used the new angle of her hips to thrust up into her. 

“Oh, Gods, yes–” Her mouth dropped open. She moved her hips back with each of his thrusts to take him more deeply. 

Rolan thought he might shatter apart. Waves of searing desire swept harder and harder through him. She took him so perfectly, his cock almost painfully gripped by her tightening walls, so wet and lush and sweet and for him–

A hand flew up to the back of her neck to grasp and to pull her down so he could taste her as he came. Lips crashed together frantically as the pace of their bodies started coming apart at the seams. 

In one bright concentrated moment, she shook and trembled violently into him as she grasped for whatever part of him she could reach. He managed one last stuttering thrust before his climax was ripped from him by her own, spilling inside of her clenching center, hurling him outside himself and into the wide Astral plane.

They shuddered against each others' bodies as white-hot waves receded outward farther and farther. Her head dropped to his shoulder as though she'd lost all muscle control. 

He felt her slowing breaths fan out across his chest, and he rested a hand on the back of her head to keep her there.

-

As Rolan stared up at the wood-paneled ceiling above them, something cold dripped down at the base of him. He realized he was still inside of her. He swung his free arm over the side of the bed–still woozy enough from his climax that he nearly slid head-first to the floor–and snatched up his rumpled robes to clean them both.

She rolled off him then and cuddled up on her side to watch him. He mirrored her pose, adjusting against the pillows to make a spot for his horns. One of her fingers found the point of his ear and began tracing.

“How do you feel?” She asked. 

Rolan sighed deeply. “Happy.” He could cast around for another dozen words, but he’d rather take her in. He smoothed a hand up and down along the curve of her side.

“So do I.” She leaned over to spread light kisses along his lips, then his jaw and cheek. His tail brushed against her leg in an idle caress. 

She glanced down. “I didn’t actually know about…that.”

“Am I your first Tiefling?” He teased, though the thought genuinely pleased him.

“First and last,” she replied. The words were instantly locked away in his chest. 

She gave a little shiver then, tucking her body against his warmth. He dug the covers up over themselves and wrapped her up tight with his arms and legs. The simple feeling of holding her brought him a deep sense of calm.

“I love this, Rolan.” Her lips moved against the hollow at the base of his neck. “I wish I could take tonight and carry it with me everywhere.”

Something sparked in him at her words. He opened his eyes and reluctantly released her to feel around the floor at the floor for his stained robe.

"What are you doing over there?" She lifted her head curiously to peer over the bedside. 

"Just need to find something." He rummaged through his layers of discarded clothing before finally, his knuckle grazed something hard.

He slid back up under the covers beside her. She propped herself up against him, resting a palm on his chest with an expectant look.

He held out his thumb and index finger. Between them, an amber stone glinted in the dim light.

Her mouth fell open in recognition. For one second, he was afraid she might cry.

Then she buried her head in the crook of his neck, wrapping both arms tight around him. "I knew you were a darling all along." 

[midnight-in-town]

Hi. I hope you are having a nice day.

I just happened to have a question about Kuroshitsuji. We are all wondering that who could it be that attacked the Phantomhives on the twins birthday and 2 of the most common theories r that either it's the queen or it's real Ciel.

However, I think it could be a bit different. Like maybe real Ciel, still being a child may not be the mastermind (although my viewpoint is kinda changed after seeing so many kids in real life turning psychos or murderers more often than ever lol XD). I remember Yana showing us the evil aristocrats in the circus arc from Vincent's time. We saw undertaker, Claus, dee, that photographer, one unnamed lady I think, and maybe some more guys. Here's the thing, what if it's one of them that backstabbed Vincent? We know that Claus, undertaker and dee could never do that since they were there to help Ciel after he became the watchdog (although now undertaker took real ciel's side, somewhat). But not all of those people from Vincent's time came to serve his successor, which was our Ciel at that time. The photographer looked quite sus as well since he didn't necessarily take anybody's sides and would just do whatever would benefit him (like what if he's not just a photographer but an aristocrat under a fake identity?). Then whatever could have happened to the rest of those evil aristocrats like that lady for example. Did they just stop being evil or being related with the Phantomhives especially after what happened to the Phantomhives or did they really betray Vincent? What if somebody was grooming (not in the sexual way) real Ciel and was collecting all sorts of information from him like how the Phantomhives may let their guards down on the twins birthday? It obviously seemed like the attacker was indeed close to the Phantomhives or else how did they manage to carry out this plan so perfectly? Also real Ciel did have a bubbly personality and was extroverted. We saw nothing of the boat trip that happened without our Ciel. What if real Ciel was hanging out with an adult with whom he would be talking about his problems (like how he didn't want his brother to leave him and open a toy store) and that person was taking advantage of real ciel's vulnerability to gather information about the Phantomhives. But real Ciel at that time may not have known that and maybe he trusted that adult but then sadly he realized that he was betrayed? What if that's the reason he looked more disappointed and guilty while being kidnapped (since neither him or his dad was able to see through that attackers real self) while our Ciel looked confused and scared.

Sorry for the long ask. Well, I want to know what you think, if you don't mind.

Hi Anon ! I'm having a busy day but I'm okay, I hope you're fine as well. :3

So, about the attack on the manor 4 years ago, I definitely talked about this subject many times, meaning next time, please do a quick check before asking. ;) Long story short, it's not "the Queen or real!Ciel", it's "the Queen, John Brown and real!Ciel".

For real!Ciel's motivations, please read my recap post about the RCMT theory (the name is definitely a misnomer yes, since real!Ciel was manipulated by Victoria and John Brown). Also feel free to browse the RCMT tag for more discussion.

As for the Queen and John Brown, here's the companion theory about the Fenian Brotherhood being one trigger behind Vincent and Rachel's death.

Lastly about Vincent's evil nobles that we have yet to meet, I think most of them are still working with the Watchdog, it's just that, like Dee, they may not all be in England.

As for any potential traitor, yes it's possible, though there is no real hint so far in the story (UT being a special case). To tell you everything, @dorkshadows and I, we bet on Klaus.

No real reason why, except that we see him a lot in the story despite him having, so far, 0 narrative significance. Also, we believe, unlike Dee who probably knew all along which twin our!Ciel was, that Klaus might choose real!Ciel's side in the upcoming future.

TL;DR Vincent probably became a political enemy of Victoria, so she indeed used real!Ciel's obsession for his little brother against his parents ("maybe you could replace your father as my Watchdog, that way I won't have to get rid of you and your little brother, also you would have enough power to make your little brother stay with you forever UwU").

Lastly, on December 14th, it's probably John Brown, as "Jane the maid", who killed most of the servants and abducted the twins.

My blog's missing a post about John Brown's motivations, as a demon staying for about 50 years by Victoria's side, but @dorkshadows and I discussed a few ideas that I'll share publicly at some point when I have time.

Have a good day Anon ! :)

[crime-soncloud]

For @mizuribbons (mod Mizuki in @proseka-headcanons ) since they wanted to hear my gender HC's for pjsk, and also it's good to get them! So sorry for spamming some tags, and with no delay:

My Gender Headcanons for Project Sekai Characters

Ichika Hoshino: Transfemme, she/star, stolen from the two different Mod Ichika's from both the headcanon blog and the L/N incorrect quotes blog. Transistions in middle school, after getting gender envy from Miku, defines herself as a trans girl, and only L/N, and their families know, not due to fear just never felt the need to. Bought a Blahaj for everyone in L/N, and will wear some small pins, with unironed flag in room. No fashion sense (Mizuki and Saki save star)

Saki Tenma: Transfemme, She/her, transistions in hospital (was how she found out), fairly public, has so many pins, loves the transgender symbols (blahaj, flag, celeste) and defines herself as a trans girl. Blahaj all over social media, and her Trans flag is often fashioned into a cape. Perfect fashion

Shiho Hinomori: AMAB Non-binary, he/she/they pronouns (the only reason I'm mentioning assigned at birth is because all of L/N transitioned from male) first to transistion, and doesn't hide it but doesn't talk about it. No symbols, definitely prefers being called Non-binary but fine with being called female by close people. L/N, their families, and Minori + Kohane know. Has NB flag in bedroom and blahaj right in the center of bed (never admits it) and considering Neo's. Knows what he likes to wear

Honami Mochizuki: Transfemme she/her, transitioned last, just before High school. Won't tell anyone, because of the stuff that happened in the past, and same as Ichika, only L/N, Shizuku and Tsukasa know (plus parents and unnamed siblings) Blahaj on bed but flag (gifted by saki) kept neatly in closet just in case. Alright fashion but dresses like a grandma

Honami and shiho to a lesser extent both fall into a category where multiple hc's I use, normally cis, but also Tmasc NB for Shiho. Tmasc/cis Ichika and Saki nahhh not personally mine (but i don't mind others, and I know Tmasc Ichika popular but I prefer fashion disaster/butch Transfemme Ichika)

Minori Hanasato: transfemme, she/her (do you see a pattern yet /silly), transistioned early on (like junior school) when she was introduced to Idols. Doesn't share it much, especially in Idol mode because of how it would treat her, but like literally all her friends, especially Shiho and Kohane, and a fairly consistent group in the MMJ fandom know. Ends up (when I eventually write it) coming out on stream along with another character (ooo mysterious), calls herself trans girl

Haruka Kiritani: cis, she/her but considering she/they, hasn't properly considered it because she's always been too busy ("I know something's going on but I've got idol work to do). Not much to say

Airi Momoi: Transfemme, she/her, same rough story as Minori but hid it much earlier and better, and realised slightly later than Minori. Only Shizuku, Ena, Akito, and later Minori knew, before also coming out during the stream. Bought a bunch of stuff with Minori (Blahaj donated by Mizuki and also Ichika) and has regular segment about queer stuff in Idol culture.

Shizuku Hinomori: a difficult one, but I think Cis. Would probably not have ever properly thought about it, but would use she/they eventually. Idk I don't have many ideas about it.

Shizuku could also be transfemme and I'm great with it, and Tmasc/NB I can vibe with. Don't really feel interested with other gender headcanons. All the idols have amazing fashion

Kohane Azusawa: Cis... I haven't got much to say, but literally any gender headcanon I'm alright with. I haven't properly thought about it before but none really resonate hugely (although do give me propaganda). Probably uses they/them along with either she/her or he/him. Demi something?

An Shiraishi: Cis (with she/they) or Transmasc (he/they) mainly because of the dynamic with Mizuki. Mid fashion sense, needs Help from Akito and Mizuki, but does have a few pins and Blahaj (courtesy of Mizuki) if Tmasc, and Fine either with Male or Non-binary. If trans, learned from Mizook and Public-ish: VBS, family, Haruka, Nene, Rui, Minori all know... Also Ichika and Shiho kinda know. Doesn't really care for labels

Akito Shinonome: alright... So either Transmasc with he/him, or transfemme with she/her, I slightly prefer Femme but both are amazing. If masc, realized when young, if Femme then Ichika, Rui, and Mizuki dressed her up and there was just a "... Shit this is me" moment before breaking into happy tears. Either fine fashion with Masc, or horrendous with Femme and needs Mizowoki help (I've started making Zukis name more difficult to read). No merch (but Mizuki anonymously gives him/her a blahaj) and only Ichika, Rui, Mizuki, Toya, and eventually Ena (I'll be getting to him/her later) know. Defines as trans boy/girl

Toya Aoyagi: same kinda deal, either Masc or Femme, he/they or she/they and some kind of Neo's. If Masc, his father is fine with it, if Femme... Then they're getting there (came out after Main story if femme, pre story if masc). Tenmas (and Ichika and Mizuki weirdly enough) know for masc, and Only Mazoki knows for femme. No symbols, and horrid fashion either way, Akito and Zuukai desperately help (Akito has no idea why). Defines as trans (woman/man)

VBS is difficult, literally any allignment I'm fine with, the Cis Akito/Toya I'm fairly ambivalent to, and Transfemme An is fine (really good in the right context with Mixukzo) but everything else I HC strongly. Femme Kohane is pre story, Masc or NB is during the first arc.

Tsukasa Tenma: once again Femme or Masc, Masc before the main story (switched names with Saki) if Femme then it takes embarrassingly long (like everyone knows except her, and has to be basically pushed to the answer). No fashion, needs literally everyone's help, and Gets so much merch from L/N, and WxS. Very public, Either he/STAR or she/STAR (capital letters important /silly) and STAR had an entire performance/show to present STARs coming out. BIG ass flag. I should probably do a full post for him/her but for now this is it

Emu Otori: cis or Tfemme, she/her and Fun/funs. Extremely public, all the merch (including drawings of flags next to actual flags) and dresses exactly how fun wants, but from the outside is a fashion disaster.Knew very early on, from her sister (who is also transfemme) All the Blahajs, pins, lots of stuff. Happy to talk about it, but is aware of transphobia, but is ready to deal with stuff. I might elaborate more in the future

Nene Kusanagi: again, Femme or masc. Either way knew before main story, and either way he/she/they. Rui and Mizuki know, and then the rest of WXS and Ichika found out. his parents and Rui's parents also know, and that's it, very careful about being out because of a similar reason to Honami, very nervous about others knowing. However they have got so many flags, pins, and Blahajs from WXS and Ichika. Somehow just as bad fashion sense as Tsukasa, but does not realise it. Luckily Akito and mizu can help (with a fair amount of arguments).

Rui Kamishiro: transfemme, she/her and a wide array of Neo's from a variety of places. She is a pronoun magpie (and I'll use them throughout). So Show knew since she met Mizuki (gender crisis as soon as zey found out about being trans) and hid it until High school, specifically meeting Mizuki again, where they both worked to help transiston. However, doesn't hide being trans, and any shitty people are immediately sassed back. Once again no fashion sense, needs Mizowoki's help, and got loads of gifts from WXS. Fae absolutely helped Nene and Tsukasa come to terms with their own gender struggles. Army of Blahaj and flags.

I'm fine with all gender hc's for Rui, and Nene, apart from Cis Rui this being is NOT CIS (silly) but I prefer femme for both (though I do still like mascnene) and I think NB Emu or Kasa are fun. Also ciskasa.

Kanade Yoisaki: Kanade also hasn't really thought through gender stuff, too busy making music and saving Mafuyu, but would probably use she/they and be a demi girl. Has to learn from Ichika and Mizuki. Never thought about fashion, completely fucking useless with clothes, but that's a given.

Mafuyu Asahina: either Transfemme and Her mother was super manipulative and used it to try and get "the perfect daughter", also had never really been allowed to properly explore how she wants to express her gender. Or, Transmasc and learned online/from Mizuki, and immediately realised he fit with it, and instantly cut his hair (horrendously, Mizuki and Ena were horrified). Either way came out to N25 after a while, and that was pretty much it. Both ways, has no proper fashion sense and needed help. No symbols until Mizuki sent a small pin, which Mafuyu cares for immensely. He/they or she/they depending on gender (but needed to think about it with Mizuki) and considers neo's. Their father is fine, if a bit uninformed, but their mother is... Well it's Mafumom. There's a lot I should probably add to it, but that's it for now. Or maybe just cis but uses she/they

Ena Shinonome: this is reliant on Akito's identity. If He is transmasc, she is transfemme, but if Akito is transfemme, Ena is transmasc. Either way, Akito and Airi know, Akito and Ena actually came out to each other on the same time, and were annoyed at each other for stealing their moment, before genuinely supporting each other, and helping the other with transition. Ena is perfect with fashion..(and is fine dressing both feminine and masculine) and hair, and deliberately did not trade names with Akito. Same journey as Akito but flipped (if femme knew when young, if masc then Mizuki helped). Came out to N25 when Mafuyu did, and got a blahaj from mizuki immediately. Has a flag (perfectly ironed unlike Akito) and the siblings both have a blahaj (and will often steal each others) considered they/them but hasn't made a decision (basically Idk)

Mizuki akiyama: ... Do I even need to say? Transfemme, she/they, only out to Rui and An in the beginning (and family), but will eventually come out to friends (N25 when comfortable and Ichika when star asks genuinely). Obviously great fashion, hair, came out during middle school, not public at all. Has an army of Blahaj, and a very wrinkled flag. Weirdly enough I don't have much to say, but that's because it's all kinda obvious.

N25 all fit most trans hc's, apart from Mizuki. If you Headcanon Mizuki as cis or transmasc then honestly? Block me, I'm normally fine with other headcanons but this one is just like kinda non-negotiable. Nb or femme Mizuki or bust. Sorry for getting a bit rude but yeah.

Anyway... Rin and Len are both trans, one is masc and one is femme, one lies and one tells the truth, if you cannot figure out which then they won't let you pass (/silly) but yeah they're twins and trans

Luka, Meiko, and Kaito are all transfemme, and Miku entirely depends on who created the Sekai.

Anyway hopefully this is alright Mod Mizuki! And of course anyone can jump into my ask box and talk about it.

[yonemurishiroku]

In your older/ present Nico au how do u see a selfcest plot working out?

A March 15th ask! My sins just pile up don't they... Deep apologies to anon for the long wait. 😭😭😭

Referring to the selfcest plot here: 1 2 3 4 (Pretty messing tho bc I literally just post whatever I think of, pls go to the tag for more)

Anon please please know that I'm so, so glad to see someone interested in the selfcest AU and that your ask delights me to no end. This is my jam and only mine bc obviously nobody's unhinged enough to come up with it. 😭😭😭

To answer your question about "how a selfcest plot works out", I'm assuming you're asking about the relationship aspect, aka how their feelings come to be acknowledged? 👀

In that case, truthfully, I have no idea. LMAO. 😂

Actually no that's not right. Hmm. I mean. When I came up with this AU and decided to categorize it as "selfcest", the only thing in my mind was that: I wanted to see Nico love himself.

So, intrinsically, I suppose it might be a little different from what you might consider a typical romance? - the same way I sometimes go for the peculiar, rare, unnamed types of love. In this case, the important thing - the thing for which I built this whole AU and everything around it - is that Nico getting to show himself what love is.

The love in this, to me, is not technically like typical mainstream romances (of kisses and lovemaking etc...), but rather something about to cherish, to protect, to pray for the other's happiness, sometimes to hate as a result, and to fall.

Abstract, I know. I don't understand half of the things I wrote either. (And to think that I project my own self-esteem problem onto it...)

Anyway, the supreme repertoire of this AU is: the Older Nico showing his younger self that he deserves to be loved and could be selfish - because no one else has done it for him and selfishness is the peak unhealthy self-love - and thus, somewhat salvaging himself from the mistreatment he received in his lifetime.

Rather than romance, let's just say it's cherishing.

So, what about the Young Nico? How does he feel about this?

This is actually an angst pool I like to swim in, but like water, I can't properly get it out.

Let's just put ourselves in yNico's shoes. You have someone who treasures you so much it's unhealthy, and from said affection sprouts their wrongdoings. You can somewhat realize they're at wrong, but they're so nice to you, trying so hard for your sake, and suddenly the weight is on your shoulders.

It's already so complicated.

And to think that said person is your future self? That everything they do is just for your own good? That you sometimes want to trust them - over anything else, knowing nothing good would come out of it? That you have to choose between yourself and what's supposed to be "good"?

It's a can of worms I've yet to unpack. If I were to write this down it'd be a 20-something chapter of 100kw self-doubts and manipulation, for which I abs do not have the willpower.

BUT, let's just ask: Can you even call it love?

Again, it depends on what, exactly, you consider love. In this case, the gratitude is definitely there, the affection is def there - how can it not? when the F!Nico is the one teaching him about love, the desire to hold onto is def there; but the conflicts are also there (bc yeah I just have to make F!Nico an antagonist sue me), the doubts, and the "I wish it didn't have to come to this".

That, in a way, you give up on it, but you'd still be willing to give it a chance - if only there was one: The Young Nico treasures the precious things his future self has taught him, and he knew he had to give up on that, yet he couldn't stop himself from holding on.

Ah I love the blurring borders of love.

If you've followed me long enough, you'd probably realize that I don't always follow the definition of mainstream love/romance. In fact, when I say that "these two are in love", it's hardly ever about them wanting to kiss or lay around in the sheets, but rather them having a deep connection - whether it's by hatred, a grudge, a type of co-dependency, etc...

The term of "selfcest" itself, whilst posing as a couple tag, is used by me to indicate a connection, a somewhat attraction, and not completely a romance of normal standards. ❤🎇✨

So, to answer your question of how the selfcest part might play out: it's love, all the same.

[cheswirls]

a:tla la thoughts 1.1

admittedly i'm not super excited to fly thru this anymore so i'm not going to sit and binge all 8 episodes tonight but i do want to liveblog as i go thru them as smth to look back on eventually.

(not gonna tag these w the usual tag bc i don't want them showing up in tag results or search results if i can help if and pushing more relevant content down further ((and i already know the tags gonna be filled w la stuff which will be annoying to anyone looking for content from the original show coughcough)) but eventually i'll go back when time has passed and add smth to index them on my blog. for now i think these will be sparse and short enough that a blacklist tag shouldn't be necessary but i can change that too if needed!)

anyway. more under the cut

i don't hate the decision to start it chronologically tho it does make me wonder how much will be shown chronologically. the scene i paused on is katara trying to waterbend so maybe this opener is the only thing out of order, but if so that does make me wonder how they're going to deal with the sequence of events in the storm episode that showed zuko and aang's pasts concurrently to parallel them. i wondered before i reached the scene and paused if it would show hakoda leaving, kaya dying, or anything to do with zuko's family. i guess i could be proven wrong but it seems like this scene is gonna lead to the iceberg scene and might continue into present further instead of doing (what would be at this point) a flashback.

one thing i noticed that i quickly didn't like is the changes to the (yet unnamed) comet and its importance. atla has a wide berth of extended universe content to draw on, and from what i remember, when bryke do worldbuilding they tend to not waste or discard anything. i'm not wording this right maybe. but like, when they mention something, or create something, it's because there's significance behind it or they add to it to make it significant.

this is a third of the way thru the first episode, so i hope i'm proven wrong and it gets addressed again, but there's a lot about (sozin's) comet in these opening scenes that they've added to and have done zero to explain. it's like they needed a buzzword. like, why is there a grand festival for this comet that the airbenders travel from all over the world to attend? even if it is (and i'm considering it more likely) just a way to have them all in the same place to address that they all got wiped out with little explanation, it's still conflicting to the viewer by what's been presented. this comet is a cause for celebration, but it powers up firebenders? they why is there a festival being held for it? if it's important to non-firebenders, wouldn't it be worth mentioning as another distraction to fool the earth kingdom with? it's heavily implied by sozin that the comet increases firebending prowess, like as a first-time viewer i get that you're supposed to take that. but also, if that's the case, then why not explain why the comet is important in further detail? why do the airbenders care so much? you see what i'm getting at? the fact that they added a comet festival isn't bad by itself, but they way they shoehorned it in without any meaningful explanation and even made it contradictory by placing significance on it from a culture it (thus far) doesn't seem to affect is??? like why. this is what i meant by "wasteful" earlier. if you're going to add to the worldbuilding of an already incredibly rich universe, then it needs to serve some purpose.

another thing i hope i am proven wrong on (by showing more examples in scenes that don't take place during the comet's passing) is the way firebending and airbending are shown opposing each other. there's one scene where an air nomad is in the middle of a twister, and without applying any excessive force to punch through it, sozin just adds a little fire and it burns the nomad into smithereens. there are more examples but this is the most significant. it's been shown in the cartoon multiple times that a flame can be extinguished with a strong burst of wind. with some of the power these nomads were portrayed with, it made zero sense to me that the fire, even if powered by the comet, would so effortlessly counter it without going out.

what gyatso did in his final scene was along the lines of what i expected to see all the air nomads doing. flames instantly vanquished by a strong gust of air. i really wanted to see some more creative tactics during the siege, like an airbender drawing the air away from a space so the fire dies on its own from lack of oxygen. not even like a dark twist of rendering the soldiers unable to breathe in the space, but just a quick 'pull all the air to me' technique as a way to temporarily disarm your enemy. with that, aside from the twister, there really wasn't any depiction of making an enclosed space using airbending. none of the kids made airballs, no one made a dome of air (that i remember, or with any significance) as a form of protection, nothing like that. even being taken by surprise, there wasn't enough due credit being given to the air nomads for it to be impactful that the firebenders were seemingly coasting by in the siege. i get the point in showing sozin having zero trouble was to depict him as powerful, but imo it really just showed more than anything that none of the air nomads were being used to their full extent.

which, okay, circling back to the 'gathering everyone in one place' deal. that really was a cop-out to me. it's established in extended lore that sozin ordered simultaneous attacks on all four temples, but even then, airbenders are nomadic. not all of them were at a temple. many stayed in hiding for years and years after the genocide. sozin spent his entire lifetime hunting down and eliminating airbenders. they didn't have to add that to the show, but like, do you see the difference in how the two things are handled?? netflix's approach has been very 'tie up any loose ends immediately' super straightforward, which is concerning this early on because atla is such a roundabout show sometimes - in a good way. things aren't black and white, lots of things go wrong and some go right accidentally and sometimes people with good intentions end up making a situation worse and vice versa. it's a very human show about a handful of kids who make mistakes but still try their best. so, while it's not a super important nitpick, i did notice bc i have context from seeing the original show 2479322 times that having all the air nomads at one temple was a very calculated way of reducing what needs to be explained.

last thing, and this is kinda so-so in the grand scheme but it's a change i didn't like so i'm throwing it out there. they way they went about doing the scenes w monk gyatso and aang. not just that, but that entire sequence as a whole, like all the little changes. aang can fly i guess alright. that grates on me as someone who knows the significance to flight and that in-verse (like canon!!!!!! canon) it's been established that the avatar can never achieve such a thing because earthly attachments are something an avatar can never discard. but like to make it look cool, fine i guess. i think him using his glider would have been equally as cool. that's the only scene we get of him "showing off" (and even then there's not much impact bc it's gyatso observing this instead of the other kids) to mark him as advanced, and then gyatso saying himself that aang shouldn't skip classes even tho he's advanced for his age. in the original show, aang doesn't alienate himself - it's done for him. since he has his tattoos, the other kids won't let him play games with them bc it'd be seen as unfair. it's such an immediate contrast to the live action. why would aang skip lessons and distance himself? the whole point of his character is that he wants to be a kid first, and has to grow and learn how to be an avatar properly.

gyatso not fighting the other elders in the meeting about aang was also a noticeable choice. i'm confused why they didn't just do the toy-picking scene especially because they could've name-dropped the past avatars doing it that way as well. that's another example of (thus far) tossing aside a piece of lore and worldbuilding in the name of what? run time?? being concise??? why not just show the toys.

okay but going back to the point - gyatso shows no resistance to the other elders when they put their collective foot down. he says nothing to aang about taking him away so aang has a chance to be a kid while he's young. it's such a push away from gyatso's character that it was almost startling to watch expecting him to do something and not have him act at all. it also really makes me wonder what their plan for aang's character is overall. i can already. siiiiiigh. i can already see why bryke left. it's fine if it's not the same story. it's fine if it's more to-the-point and cuts things out. but the changes already that i've seen aren't particularly good changes, and imo, aren't necessary either.

i hope there's more time devoted to showing aang's life 100 years prior when the trio are at the southern air temple. atla is such a story-driven and lore-heavy show, and in this first twenty minutes, all i really took was netflix wanting to show off how well (which is not very, right now) they can do fight scenes and action sequences instead of using that time to establish character dynamics more. the genocide wasn't shown in the original show bc it didn't need to be - the consequences and severity were shown when aang travels to the southern air temple. it's not a bad addition on netflix's part, but showing something only implied in the original bc you can in your higher-rated show is only a good thing if it doesn't detract from the story. this is twenty minutes of run time in an eight hour series. i'm nervous to see what they sacrificed or put to the side so they could show the genocide in full.

-

OH she practices in the ship. that's interesting. on one hand, i get that that's perfect cover for waterbending in secret. on the other hand, this implies that the ship isn't booby-trapped to release a flare, or if it still is, that it's not something that's as cause for alarm to keep others at bay. hm.

ian ousley is killing it

not sure if it's fault of the script but sometimes sokka and katara's back and forth sounds very much like they're reading lines. like it breaks immersion for me.

two or three older men in the same scene kana is introduced. why. holding off judgement til zuko lands to see if they help sokka fight. but like. why. what purpose are they serving. why add them.

dallas liu really sounds like dante basco omg. idk if he's pitching his voice to imitate dante or if he jus sounds uncannily similar but i am not complaining.

bison whistle right off the bat but no glider. no glider??? is it with appa?? no glider period???? the hovering-in-air-using-air is not as cool as the showrunners think to keep using it like this. hmmmmmmm

ok they did mention hakoda leaving sokka in charge but even as a form of like comfort to give his son a goal and a purpose, what does this mean when there are other men in the village???? i didnt say elders earlier bc they don't look decrepit or anything, they look abled, their hair isn't white or turning, not a ton of wrinkles. if they wanted old men in the southern water tribe then why not make them look old af?????? i am. so confused

they didnt even end up fighting or being seen again so!!!!!!! if they were in the bg then i missed any of them. again again again. what is the point in adding things unnecessarily.

the glider scenes were cool on the boat, the temple scene was rly short and i don't dislike that gyatso technically calmed aang down but having it not be katara is kinda uuuuuuuuh. hm.

the landscapes were all really pretty. when they're canoeing, and especially after aang is freed, all the lighting in the scenes katara and sokka are in is outstanding. i like the ship's set design :) wish they would've shown how clever aang is a bit more. like it's not a bad first episode, but once again, i feel like the twenty minutes for the opener could've been used better elsewhere. i don't think there was a single otter penguin even with being mentioned twice :( aang got to be carefree a bit but at the same time, it seems they're getting rid of the bucket list of things to do around the world that he had in mind thru s1.

i definitely don't hate it but i'm not jumping into the next ep either.

[meowblastpewselfshiptime]

OKAY TAKE 2 BC I CANT READ

🎠 with Oz, Qrow, and Unnamed guy #2 pls :3c

LMAOO ITS ALL GOOD BRO ILY it was a nice lil surprise!! 🎠- what do you do for leisure/entertainment? do you go places, play games together, or simply watch a movie nd cuddle? Hm. Not something I've thought about a lot with Ozpin, but the first thing that comes to mind is going out somewhere with few or no people to just!! vibe. Working in a school/on school grounds all day usually means a lot of people, a lot of problems, and just. a lot in general. So, whether that's going somewhere on the outskirts of town/kingdom, or to a nearby park at a time almost no one would be around, we take that time to relax!! Sometimes we talk, sometimes we just sit in a comfortable silence as we stick to our own thoughts and enjoy the presence of the other for Qrow- we either stay inside to spend the time cuddling and just holding one another close as we talk or nap depending on our energy levels. Or!! We go out and explore around whatever town or place we're in, meander around to see if we find anything or anywhere interesting, and usually people watch as we do so. Just, anything that doesn't take a lot to do and helps us unwind!! But most of the time we cuddle cause we're usually always on the go- thus getting a smidge of time to rest is heavenly LMAO now- for Unnamed 2- whether they are a guy or not? You shall never know~ but that- is also something I haven't thought of much either. honestly it'd most likely be cuddles as well. Watch a movie or show or talk as well. Or, if we both have a lot of energy, I can see us looking into different things to try out!! Like- classes for pottery or a guide to learning how to tend and manage your own garden.

[existslikepristin]

Sounds

Just my ultimate bias doing ultimate bias things. This is just the intro. There will be more to come. Thanks also to worldsover and EhBeeSeeDih for most excellent editing help!

Tags: TheLounge, Dreamcatcher, Gahyeon, Siyeon, Yoohyeon, other members all referenced, some unnamed male, lots of butt stuff, very light bondage, brief watersports (pee), various other kinks referenced, I just want everyone to know Gahyeon is the best human

Gahyeon observed the consistency of the lube that dripped, nice and slowly, from the fingertips of her black latex glove. She only wore the one, leaving her other hand bare. Besides the glove, all she wore was an oversized baggy tee shirt and a pair of panties that weren't her own. From behind her, the up-close-yet-distant sound of amateur porn moans reached her ears. It made her smile.

Not long after Gahyeon had revealed her desire to dominate to the rest of Dreamcatcher, she’d first been approached by Dami. Dami initially showed a similar interest in dominating others, but was equally interested in being a pet.

Gahyeon hesitated for some time, but eventually agreed to give it a try. It wasn’t much of a surprise that Dami made a pleasant, calm, obedient pet. Gahyeon never really had many ideas for commands to give to a panda, though, so perhaps her perspective was a bit skewed.

Some time later, the two got involved in a bit of role playing as well. Dami would be the prince, and Gahyeon would be one of a variety of higher-ranking royalty that Dami would then have to satisfy. Gahyeon would certainly never admit that this was one of her favorite roles to play in her escapades with her members. Mostly because it meant she received lots of massages from Dami’s delightfully delicate hands.

Dami was a grunter.

Gahyeon’s situations with Jiu and Handong were quite similar to each other in the sense that neither of them really expressed a major interest in being dominated.

Jiu was more of a standard, every day, give-and-take type of lover, but just happened to enjoy a bit of pain. Gahyeon was always happy to provide that little extra sadistic touch that would push Jiu over the edge of climax.

Jiu was a lip-biter.

Handong didn’t need a dom. She wanted somebody with a dick she could wreck herself with. Gahyeon had a growing collection of dildos and strap-ons to choose from. It was as simple as that between them.

Handong was a shouter.

Sua was, as expected, the most difficult to work with. She was a switch. But while domming, she was often excessively overpowering, demanding that her subs participate in her kinks, rather than compromising with them or catering to their desires. She had serious negotiation issues. All of which meant that Gahyeon was the go-to option when the other members wanted to be dominated.

Of course, Sua would reach out to Gahyeon to be dominated as well. But she was a bit of a back seat driver. Or a severe brat. Or uncooperative. It depended on the day. Gahyeon would often just suggest they do something less kinky. Of course, she wasn’t about to cut Sua out of her sex life entirely, given their friendship and Sua’s rocking body.

Sua was a screamer.

Yoohyeon, on the other hand, was quite the fun submissive. She was willing to try anything at least once, up to and including the most depraved acts Gahyeon could come up with. Once or twice, Gahyeon had even directed her to do some things sarcastically, but Yoohyeon complied immediately, no questions asked, resulting in both of them discovering some kinks that neither of them realized they had.

One of Gahyeon’s favorite aspects to domming Yoohyeon was her eagerness to be filmed. Gahyeon’s SD card case was an absolute treasure trove of videos. It didn’t matter if she was far from her members, because she could always count on some long-distance submission from Yoohyeon. And it never hurt to have something to watch when she just wanted to be alone and masturbate.

Yoohyeon was a moaner.

But as much fun as Gahyeon could have with those five women, Siyeon stood out from the pack as Gahyeon’s favorite. She had a hard time fully explaining the favoritism, but as far as she was concerned, it was undeniable.

Siyeon presented herself outwardly as confident, bold, even. Gahyeon expected in the beginning that Siyeon would have no interest at all in submitting to her, or anyone else for that matter. She quite literally wore the pants.

One hot summer night, however, Siyeon sheepishly asked Gahyeon to spank her. It seemed innocent enough, as far as sex acts went, but it escalated gradually. Over the course of several months, Siyeon’s outer shell melted away. She became Gahyeon’s clay to mold.

Everybody else let Gahyeon dominate them because she gave them what they wanted.

Siyeon begged Gahyeon to dominate her because she wanted to serve and please.

That wasn’t to say Siyeon wasn’t getting what she wanted out of the action of course. Just that what she wanted happened to be whatever Gahyeon wanted. It was the perfect match.

Siyeon was an instrument that Gahyeon knew exactly how to play.

The sexual activities of the members weren’t obvious to the average viewer, except some of the wild shit Sua would do, but that was easy to pass off as “girl group popularity-mandated gay bait.” Every once in a while though, Gahyeon would get the itch to break Siyeon’s façade down in public. The lightest brush of the fingertips, a sidelong glare, anything could be the trigger if Gahyeon did it with the proper intention.

She’d even gotten so bold once as to do it on live video, streaming to their fans with Jiu and Sua to either side. Siyeon nearly collapsed before Gahyeon let her go. That same night, Sua practically molested Siyeon, but Gahyeon was vindictively proud to see that it didn’t have the same effect.

Gahyeon watched as one last drop of lube fell from her fingers back into the bowl she'd poured it into for easy access. It was just viscous enough to stay on a surface, but wasn’t tacky. Rather, it was slick, as if there were no friction at all between her digits.

“How are you feeling, my wolf?”

“I-I’m excited, Gahyeon.”

Gahyeon preferred hearing her own name falling out of Siyeon’s mouth. The sound gave her a twisted sense of romance, as opposed to the supposedly traditional “Mistress” or “Ma’am.”

Gahyeon turned to look for the first time since getting lost in her thoughts. Siyeon was tied up, albeit only with the shirt and pants she had been wearing earlier in the day, rather than a rope. The knots that her sleeves formed were weak and could fall apart with the slightest force, but Siyeon was much too good of a girl for that. It wasn't her physical bonds that held her still.

There was a twinge of disappointment amidst Gahyeon’s glee at seeing that Siyeon was looking, entranced, back at her. She had, after all, dictated that Siyeon watch the video that was playing on her tablet.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”

Siyeon gulped nervously, but Gahyeon could see the slightest, quivering smile touch the corners of her lips. “Sorry, Gahyeon. It’s just… I think I’m extra struck by your beauty today.”

Gahyeon smiled and placed her ungloved, unlubed hand on top of Siyeon’s head, stroking her hair softly. “Oh babe. You know flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere. It’s just going to get my fingers deeper inside you. And you'd better watch out, because you're getting close to the knuckles.”

Her gentle hair stroking turned into a rough grip, which she used to turn Siyeon's gaze away, back to the tablet.

"Don't you want to learn from this video, Siyeon? I made it just for you."

"Yes, I do."

"Then you should be watching. Look, or you're going to miss the best part."

Siyeon's eyes slowly refocused themselves onto the video. It was Yoohyeon, all but limp in a full-nelson-under-the-legs hold. Whoever was holding her up, slamming their cock repeatedly up her asshole, they weren't fully visible, but it was easy to guess their identity. Yoohyeon's eyes rolled up so far, they looked like they might do a full three-sixty at any moment. Anyone viewing the video might have been concerned for her well-being if not for her dopey smile.

"See, my wolf? She's such a good little slut. Keep watching and you might learn something."

Gahyeon let go of Siyeon's head, confident she'd follow instructions this time, and reached around to feel how ready she was. As expected from her favorite toy, and the hours of teasing Gahyeon had subjected her to up to this point, she was so wet that Gahyeon could have gone swimming inside her.

Her gloved hand dipped into the lube again, then made its way down the cleft of Siyeon's ass, coating the entirety. If she didn't already have very specific plans, Gahyeon would have considered using it as massage oil and kneading Siyeon’s beautiful butt cheeks until the bright red hand prints on them disappeared.

A series of moans came from the tablet speakers again, and Gahyeon smirked at what she knew was coming next, which was Yoohyeon.

"Eyes open, Siyeon. You really don't want to miss this."

Gahyeon watched Siyeon’s fingers wiggle beneath their impromptu bonds. Yoohyeon's moans shifted into a long, guttural shout, and a stream of pale yellow liquid shot out of her. Siyeon’s butt visibly clenched.

"What a fantastic slut she is, hm? Cumming so hard from her ass being used as a fuck hole that she can't even control herself, pissing all over like an idiot."

Even from behind her, Gahyeon could sense Siyeon’s devious smile forming. "Well that's rude to say about her," Siyeon said, risking life and limb.

Gahyeon responded with a series of powerful smacks, leaving the handprints already on Siyeon’s ass glowing red, as well as a haphazard smattering of lube. "Shut uuup," she whined, "She got fucked stupid and pissed herself. You know what I mean."

Siyeon turned back over her shoulder to show Gahyeon her smile. Fresh tears flowed from her eyes. "Yoohyeon's always a fool though," she managed to joke through the pain.

One last, full-motion spank made Siyeon’s smile briefly turn into a grimace.

"Is that what you're going to do to me too?"

Gahyeon resumed her steady lubrication of Siyeon’s entire backside. "Someday, maybe. But we have a long way to go before you'll be able to experience that level of pleasure without pain. And trust me, the inside of your ass is not the part of your body where you want to be feeling pain. We'll build you up to it."

There was minimal resistance against Gahyeon’s middle finger as it slipped fully into Siyeon’s butt. Siyeon hissed and her toes curled. Gahyeon kissed her neck, shushed into her ear, and used her ungloved hand to stroke from Siyeon’s breasts down to her clit and back.

After a moment of calming down, Siyeon whispered, "If anybody can get me there, Gahyeon, it's you."

Gahyeon struggled to hold back her cutesy giggle, even though she knew that it wouldn't make her seem like less of a dom to Siyeon. "We're going to do, at most, two fingers today. I don't want you masturbating with anything bigger than that on your own, okay? It might feel like you can do more, but we're not taking any chances. Understood?"

Siyeon’s shoulders flexed and toes spread as Gahyeon wiggled her inserted finger. "Y-yes Gahyeon," she stuttered.

"Good. Now, let's practice your safe word, shall we?"

Siyeon hesitated, but relented anyway. “Apricot…”

Gahyeon slowly removed her finger. “Perfect,” she said ever-so-softly, reveling in the goosebumps rising on Siyeon’s arms. “Was that okay? Nothing hurting?”

“It was perfect.” Siyeon used the same word Gahyeon had.

“Well then, let’s get started.”

[yanban-san]

I love your writings, some of your drabbles are really cute! I just have a little question; you tagged the butler headcanons with "House in Albedo" what does that mean? Is it a fic? If it I wanna read it lol

Thanks for the kind words anon!

"House in Albedo" is a reference to a one of a set of collections of vague WIPs and drabbles about Butler!Submas; "House in Albedo" is specifically them being good and sweet butlers who adore their lady quietly and politely while serving her. The "House" fics also have some world building specifics related to them that are consistent through all of them sort of, though I have not published them anywhere yet. There are four AUs/WIP folders I have associated with the "House" series, though that really makes it sound like there's so much more lol.

Specifics under the header, just for shortening post

Consistent specifics:

Reader-san is the Lady/Master (or a maid) of the Ash House, a noble house in a alternate steampunk Unova that is responsible for most (if not all) of the railways through Unova, which is also why they are so powerful and considered nobility.

In House in Albedo, the butler bros are chivalrous, sweet servants who do their best to serve their lady and try to suppress their scandalous amorous feelings towards her; also involves some mystery shit of the butler bros trying to find out if and who potentially murdered the previous head of the House.

The other is Yandere butlers, also called House in Nigredo; the butler bros are obsessed with their beloved Lady and want nothing more than to take her for themselves and keep the whole of the world at bay and will do anything to achieve their goals. Includes lots of Victorian murder mystery drama angst, blackmailing and scandal. I've watched and read too much Agatha Christie in my lifetime lol

An unnamed short one where Emmet and Ingo are Lords of the Ash House and Reader-san is a cute lil peasant girl/maid that they adore that's it that's the fic it's cute and fluffy and I will probably publish it or something based on the file of drabbles and headcanons sometime

The final one is a vague demon!submas one where Emmet and Ingo are the Lords of the Ash House and rule it and the railways with an iron fist. They are terrifying and people don't trust them or like to be around them almost ever, and there's rumors that they're actually not even human... especially considering how bizarrely perfect they keep everything running in the house, and how strange their servants are. Reader-San in this case... I have a few ideas. Investigator, poor peasant girl sent off to their house to deliver a letter, railroad worker, etc. And like... yea. May include soulmate AU BS, or maybe the scary otherworldly train obsessed dudes just really like trains and also find out they really like Reader-san, who knows??

[greyias]

Who are Draike and Deckard (from the tags or your recent) if you don't mind me asking?

Not at all! I really haven’t talked or posted about them much, because I keep getting distracted with a certain Sentinel.

Draike is Grey’s older brother, and the Voidhound in her verse. He is almost a stereotypical smuggler, in that he has taken every single flirt available (much to both Akaavi and Risha’s annoyance), extremely cocky, and has a love affair with his ship. He and his little sister… don’t have the healthiest relationship. As kids they had a pretty bad case of sibling rivalry, and they completely lost contact after the death of their parents. They don’t reunite until after KOTET, and things are… let’s say tense between them.

Deckard is Grey and Draike’s cousin, but literally none of them actually know this. Their mother (Vainas) and Deckard’s mother (uh, still unnamed) were sisters, but apparently no one’s really into genealogy in this family. Deckard wound up bounty hunting in Imperial space, which eventually led her to the Great Hunt. At some point during the timeskip she gets separated from her crew, and as tropetastic as it is, develops amnesia. I think the Alliance winds up collecting like all of her former crewmates before they eventually track her down, although I’m not sure yet how much of her memory is recovered.

[vibes-anon-haha]

TW: FNAF, murdered kids, sister location is the most messed up and it gets a little grotesque. I tried to skirt around it as much as possible by not directly describing it. I'll say this just in case: graphic to mild depictions of violence.

I'm not going to tag this as FNAF because I don't want lore heads "um actually"ing me. I pieced this together in a way that makes the story coherent to me. I haven't paid attention to the lore since the third game, I've never actually played the games myself, and I consumed the lore in one day from various videos from lore heads. Scott is a pretty bad story teller and anyone who has tried to piece together the entire timeline has taken some liberties and I am no exception; none of us know what's going on so sit down and shut up.

So this is what I've gathered out of this mess of a timeline. The order of the games in-universe. Fnaf 4, 1, 2 and sister location are at the same time, 3, pizza simulator, ultimate custom night, help wanted, special delivery, and security breach.

The two founders of Fazbear Entertainment are William Afton (serial killer, our ultimate villain) and Henry Emily. Together they open the first, probably the only non-haunted, establishment. Everything is fine and Afton is not yet a murderer. But Michael Afton, the oldest Afton child, is a bully to his younger brother (unnamed). Michael and his friends, one day, shove the younger brother into the mouth of one of the animatronics. The mechanisms fail and the jaw crushes his head, killing him instantly. He moves on, not possessing anything. William's spiral begins. Shortly before the first location closes he murders his first victim Charlotte Emily (Henry's daughter) who is locked outside the building in the pouring rain. The puppet, or the Marionette, was built by Henry to have the subfunction of protecting Charlotte. The puppet was unable to get to Charlotte in time, because of the lock, but eventually gets to her lifeless body. The rain short circuits and shuts off the puppet and Charlotte's spirit possesses it, becoming The First. The place closes.

Another opens. The puppet is briefly moved to it. Afton lures away and kills "The Original 5". The puppet, or Charlotte, gives "the 5" animatronics to possess like her, and it works. The puppet is moved out and stored somewhere else. FNAF 1 then happens. The place closes. William is officially a serial killer.

2 locations open unrelated to each other, at first. Afton makes Sister location and Henry makes whatever the place FNAF 2 is called. Afton is catching on to ...something... He designs two robots to kill kids for him and store them until the end of the day, and the others as various distractions and trackers. Numerous kids are kidnapped and then killed which eventually leads Afton to discover that souls are real, and he calls them remnants. He kills a few more kids to experiment with remnants. He forces his victims to possess his animatronics, in the opposite way of how the puppet did. The final animatronic to be possessed was Circus Baby and was accidental; the victim was Elizabeth Afton, William's daughter. She is also forced to possess the robot but does so slightly more easily. This concludes "The Remnant Trials". The location closes but reopens soon after as almost the same, just also a rental place. The game begins from there, where the player plays as Michael Afton who is there to figure out what's going on. (It seems to be unclear if his father knows about what he's doing or not). Michael gets through the game but is tricked into entering "the scooper room" by Baby. She and the others want to be free but walking around in public isn't really an option. The scooper room scoops out the endoskeletons of the animatronics and has been doing so the last few nights. All the endoskeletons of the others have joined together to make Ennard. The only robot not scooped yet is Baby. But first Michael needs to be scooped. He is, Baby scoops herself, joins with Ennard, and they walk around looking human. But Michael is falling apart and Ennard makes an escape into the sewers. Michael has Goku level plot armor and does not die from this entire ordeal.

When Afton's business becomes also a rental, he goes to Henry who has been successfully running his own and kisses up to him. Henry let's him back on. Afton immediately gets his hands bloody, killing more kids to further his remnant experiments. He gets all of Henry's new animatronics possessed. He leaves or is fired or whatever. FNAF 2 happens. The place closes.

Before FNAF 3 starts the newest establishment is built, as a horror attraction, this time not owned by Afton or Henry. Many of the animatronics (from 1 and 2) are moved here. Afton decides to pay a little visit before it opens. While there he rips apart every animatronic there, destroying each of them completely. Their remnants are freed from their mechanical bodies but are still stuck on Earth, ghostly but still looking how they did moments ago and capable of fright. The original five, looking how they did when they were alive, corner Afton in a room not allowing him to escape. In the room is an old spring lock suit. He puts it on. The spring lock mechanisms fail and crush him. He falls to the ground and the original 5 leave the room. Afton bleeds out but his remnant possesses his coffin. He is now Springtrap. The people running the attraction suddenly find all their animatronics unusable. They find Springtrap and make him the sole feature. FNAF 3 starts. The player is Michael Afton who is there to see for himself his father's fate. During his time there he successfully releases the remnants of all the victims, allowing them to finally move on, and burns the place to the ground on his final night with Springtrap still inside. It does not kill him.

Pizza simulator. Henry knows everything Afton has done and decides to put an end to it all once and for all. He builds a new place and puts out a job listing. The job was to run the newest establishment. Buy animatronics, decorations, plates, napkins, whatever. Then during the night hold the animatronics willingly brought into the building off. The game begins. The player is once again Michael Afton. At the end of each day an animatronic from the past is found in the back alley. All the robots found are (likely not in order): Circus Baby who's endoskeleton was rejected by the rest of Ennard and had to find spare parts to build herself up again and is now called Scrap Baby. What remains of Springtrap and is now called Scraptrap. Molten Freddy who is/was Ennard. And Lefty; the only one who has no damages and can also be purchased for five dollars. Michael Afton brings in all of them and subsequently has to hold them off. In the final night the place is on complete lockdown, no in or out. Scrap Baby thinks they have been called here, this entire set up is for them. She wants to make her father proud (which makes her just as crazy as him). Henry cuts her off, addressing her as Elizabeth. Says they have been called but not for the reason they think. He then addresses Michael, implying he knows who he is. He says that there was a way out planned for him, but thinks that's not what he wants. A temperature gauge appears in the corner, starting at 100 Fahrenheit and climbing. Henry says he is in the building, is nearby, and will die with them. He speaks directly to Afton and then his daughter. It can be revealed that Henry built Lefty, and that it is nothing more than a comfortable casing for his daughter, the puppet. The Marionette is inside Lefty. That is why it was clean and undamaged and also why it only costed 5 dollars. His master plan was to gather the remaining animatronics in one place and burn them and himself. He succeeds and they all die; Afton, Elizabeth, Charlotte, himself, and Michael.

Ultimate custom night is a spin off but is very much canon to the main series and overall plot so is worth mentioning. The player is William Afton. He is in his own personal hell, holding off every single animatronic ever possessed. Either because hell is real or this was the last thing the puppet did.

Help wanted is a VR game. It's a video game inside a video game. The plot is your a beta tester for this game. The game was made by Fazbear entertainment, which has new owners, and is an attempt of an coverup of the company's past. To make the game the developers found the old animatronics and searched for their chips, containing their AI. Then they scan them into the game. This is fine for the most part until Springtrap. Part of his remnant is still attached to the chip and when it's scanned into the game, his remnant is deposited into the game itself. It's enough to let him out of his personal hell and back into the real world, only digitally. He is now called Glitchtrap. He takes on a golden bunny costume appearance in the game. It's assumed this is similar to what he wore when he lures children away. He coaxes different beta testers into following him. Some do. Those people, out of the game, might eventually show extreme tiredness, paranoia, and other things. One tester leaves digital recordings in a room the player can find explaining this and more. Following Glitchtrap to the end will result in the beta tester character being trapped behind a metal locked door as it stands on the other side menacingly for a few seconds before stepping back and fading into the black background.

FNAF special delivery is seemingly a unrelated, not canon game. It's a augmented reality mobile game developed by Illumix. Players have to defend themselves against malfunctioning animatronics. They were suppose to come to you and entertain you but instead they want to kill you. You can collect parts and animatronics. You can send a robot to attack someone on your friends list, if they get jumpscared you'll earn rewards.

Security breach's plot really began during Help Wanted. Vanessa (the Pizzaplex security guard) started off her career in Fazbear Entertainment as a beta tester for the VR game. In there she met Glitchtrap whom she tried to get rid of but failed. She became scared of him, and scared of disobeying. She easily fell into Glitchtrap's manipulation. It may have threatened her as it had her personal information like her address, her family, etc. The longer she spent in the game the more Glitchtrap had control over her mind. (Somehow.) Under his instructions she buys a costume. Her mind breaks and an alter ego, controlled by Glitchtrap and called Vanny, is made. During this time Vanessa was assigned a therapist by the company. Both Vanessa and Vanny interact with them. Soon after Vanessa leaves her job as a beta tester and moves into the Special Delivery initiative. Vanny, or Glitchtrap, uses Special Delivery that sends animatronics to the therapists to make them disappear, with at least one ending up dead, making sure he retains control over Vanessa. In total she goes through 4 therapists. The master plan of Glitchtrap begins when Vanessa is transferred to the Pizzaplex as a security guard. She and Vanny hack into the system many times, installing Glitchtrap into it. The Pizzaplex was built on top of the Pizza simulator location, and Afton's final resting place. Vanessa brings Glamrock Freddy to clear a path down into it where she would set up technology to power up an animatronic body that has Afton transferred inside it.

Everything would have gone smoothly if it weren't for, theorized to be a homeless orphan, Gregory. During his run around the Pizzaplex he discovers arcade games, called Princess Quest, that are revealed to have an unlimited power supply even if unplugged; nobody knows how they got there. These games' plot is a fantasical retelling of Vanessa's Help Wanted career. There are three of them. Unlocking half of the true ending has the player playing and beating these games in numeric order. Beating the last game shows the Princess on the other side of the locked metal door and able to open it, freeing Vanessa from Glitchtrap's control.

The other half of the true ending has the player taking Chica's voicebox, Roxy's eyes, and Monty's claws, and using them to fully upgrade Freddy. Then travelling down into the ruins of the old location. On the way Gregory passes by "the blob"; a disturbing mess of wires, endoskeletons, and masks of various old animatronics. This blob is stuffed with every remnant of the victims of Afton's murders. Gregory halts Afton's revival, who is not fully powered up, and has to shut doors on Roxy and Chica and close the vent on Monty while preventing Afton from sucking the power out of Freddy who is the only one left standing by pressing a corresponding button based on where he is to activate the fire underneath him; the same way they all burned all those years ago. Based on how in this room the fire can be activated it can be inferred this is the room Henry was in during the event. Gregory also has to dodge the blob's tentacles which try to grab him to kill him. After being set on fire a certain amount of times an animated cutscene will start. Afton tries to wobble away but the blob descends from the ceiling and grabs him, lifting him up into the air as the building burns around them. Gregory and Freddy run out, making it out safely while Afton burns to death a final time along with his victims.

Other details: • The puppet's face has thick purple lines under it's eyes making it look like it's crying. That only appeared on it's face when Charlotte possessed it. • The reason the main animatronics in SB gradually look dirtier and dirtier is because Afton is gradually draining them of their power. • Every time the player plays as Michael it's canon that the reason the animatronics gun for his head is because he looks just like his father. • Monty replaced Glamrock Bonnie for some unknown reason. • Vanessa/Vanny is possibly who we play as in Help Wanted. • Afton's final kill count is 19~.

[empressxmachina]

Inquiries on WIPs, lore, and what to do with both

Hi!

I hope y'all are well! I didn't expect to make a journal today, but here I am! I do hope I get some answers because I do have some thoughts and questions.

word wall under the cut

First off, I've done a lot of proofreading and re-outlining lately.

How I keep coming up with ideas, I don't know. Why I can never sit down and write prose except for when I'm meant to be doing something else is even more unknown. But at least I'm thinking, I guess. I like what I'm pondering.  I have done some intensive writing, though.

I made a manip that's been done and in the queue for months, and I liked it so much that I've made a whole novella (novel?) idea for it. If I do it right, then I hope to get about twelve (12) parts from it - they're all now planned - of which I've completed seven. I'm closer to eight (8) than not, so that's good, right?

Since the pic is done and so is its relative part in the story, should I just release it/them, or should I wait until it's all done?

I've even made a Wattpad/book cover for it; that's how much I like what I'm doing.

Regarding Welcome Home, Sasha, specifically, it's been plotted for months, too. But I'm having some issues with writing an expository soliloquy, aka the explanation of what the fuck happened to Earth.

The actual information is cut-and-dry, but I don't know how to best frame it. I find Ki to be an analytical person - sensible for a scientist, I suppose - but with a flourish. Putting his brotherly, almost fatherly love of Sasha on top complicates things further since he wouldn't want to break his heart... and the answer will definitely bruise at the very least.

Luckily though, how he'll react and everything after that is as straightforward as an apocalypse can be. Will I ever write it, though?

I technically have three (3) or four (4) continuations to long fics, but I don't know why I'm not releasing them. I want to, yet I don't? Is this my mediocre perfectionism in action? Is this normal?

Syntrophy has changed in my head, like, four times, regarding the relationship between the two MCs. Their separate stories have maintained but not how they connect to each other.

I wish I was kidding. There's so much I've deleted.

I've been adding excerpts to my manips and making visuals to go with stories. Read more about that in the next section.

Secondly, I've been conceptualizing visuals like mad!

Ideas just keep coming, and they don't stop coming.

The queue is probably at peak fullness, which is cool. I was hoping I wouldn't have to widen time between posting stuff because as much as popularity doesn't affect whether I make something, I wouldn't want y'all to just forget about me. You know?

I know some people don't even have a schedule or set up expectations, so I might just say "Fuck it," and leave submission dates to RNG. It hasn't been a problem, but I don't want pressure from time restraints to become a problem. We'll see.

Like the unnamed, new fic way above, some of my ready works are images from tales not-yet-released. I've done that before numerous times, but one in particular literally happens in what would be the literal next part to post, and I'm not done with writing it, yet, at least to where I'd like it to be.

Should I post the pic anyway, despite context being right behind a corner? I kind of want to, but I've already been putting it off so much...

I just really need to get motivated and focus using Pomodoro or something. Maybe I'd knock everything out if I did.

My most recent completion from literally this morning might just be my favorite in all my years of manip-making.

Meanwhile, the one finished right before it might be the worst thing I've ever made, and its excerpt just makes it worse. I enjoyed it thoroughly, though, which makes me question myself as I'm seeing patterns...

I want to draw/paint again. I've done stuff for IRL projects but not size content.

I need inspiration to just sit down and pen for hours or days.

Would y'all mind me doing sketches again? That'd be quicker.

Lastly, the real reason why I chose to make a journal:

I'm really considering putting expanded, not-yet-seen lore for my stories on my blog site (on WordPress), and I feel like I've pondered this before.

As repeatedly mentioned, I have too many ideas but not even drive to collect them all into something worthwhile. But I'd like to get them out there somehow so others can indulge in my babies as much as I do. Some creators have blogs just for certain stories and their characters, settings, etc. that I adore, and I want to feel that in a way, too. However, most people don't have ten (10) or more stories at once that they equally love. Fuck, I need to edit my blog with more pages for more things I've conjured but isn't there, yet.

I feel that by doing so on my site,

People who do want to know how a plot of a tale will go, because I write as quickly as molasses runs yet have an outline for everything, can know.

It'll be organized as I see fit but my own control (unless WordPress does something drastic).

In addition, the data wouldn't be directly attached to the works on other sites like here, either, in case ideas change or people are averse to spoilers and want to stay away.

Reading all this over, couldn't I put the same data/lore in DA journals, Tumblr posts, etc., too, adding tags or titles to mark what's what? Couldn't I also put the works themselves that are here or even the damn music list on my site, too? Should I?

Am I overthinking this? I think I'm overthinking this.

That's it, I think.

Does any of this make sense? Please let me know your thoughts on anything but mostly the blog stuff if you can.

(I've also put this on DA if you'd prefer to respond there.)

Stay safe, and Happy Equinox! I'm glad I'll see flowers blooming again soon.

~J