#<< putting both of those tags on bc its relevant to both

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hey can we talk about btw the fact that the unpowered prt person in charge of the wards is called their handler. was rereading some of the nhw posts and that fact just hit me. handler. like they're some kind of wild animals. handler is a term you use for a person dealing with. a tiger. or a bear. or a guard dog. just the implicit assumption that these teenagers are Dangerous Enough to be compared more closely to a wild animal than to human children.

[ganondoodle]

Sonia redesign + Zelda (ancient)

she is the one to seal ganondorf in an intentionally cruel way to take revenge for him killing rauru

she also had a daughter from a previous marriage that she named Zelda after an ancient legend from long forgotten times; while she technically had both time and light powers, she could only take ahold of one (struggeling to grasp a certain power you are pressured to awaken reference ;) ) which is time, it was not the one she was supposed to manifest as her status was always associated with light, in her younger years she was often looked down upon but despite that later proved to be a capable leader

shortly after her first marriage was ended rauru and the rest of the remaining sonau (engl zonai) came from the underground to warn the folks living on the surface from a great evil that was told about in ancient texts they had found while mining desperately for the stones they had grown reliant on for survival

this warning later evolves into the plan to seal ganondorf away before he could even become a threat, through all those discussion and planning sonia and rauru grew closer and eventually married; the plan was to be executed in secret to give ganondorf no time to even consider to reveal what demon they believed he really was, but the secret got out and ganondorf enacted a counterattack in the form of stealing one of the enigma stones in order to put pressure on the hyrulian kingdom, but he gets betrayed by the gerudo that will be their sage in the last confrontation, however in the time that the gerudo sage takes to warn sonia and mobilize to save rauru ganondorf has already confronted him and though he did not plan to kill him he does so, more on accident really, as rauru did not listen to a single word he said but instead acted erratic like a helpless man trapped in a cage with a hungry bear, essentially starting a fight of life and death

when sonia arrives at the scene it is already to late; thanks to the enigma stone ganondorf can escape her grief-striken rage but sonia is out for revenge and sees him killing rauru as proof of the warnings of old, she wages war and at the end seals ganondorf in a cruel cage between life and death, even at the cost of her own life

her daughter, having witnessed it all, grows up bitter and determined to make hyrule a kingdom that will never fall again

(totk rewritten project)

[doyouremem8erme]

Heyy this is @agalychnisspranneusroseus I saw your tags on that storyboard of the sashanne divorce swordfight and YES it's striking how Sasha doesn't attack ONCE. At least during those first shots, iirc she did swing her sword once or twice later but that fight as a whole is Anne attacking and Sasha always on the defense trying to stop her without hurting her. See how she grabs both her swords with one hand and uses the other to grab Anne, keeping the weapons away from her face. WHICH REMINDS ME -> Anne has always been much more brutal with Sasha than Sasha's been with her in their swordfights. Like in both cases it's understandable lmao but I still can't stop thinking about how Anne left Sasha with a very noticeable scar on her face and Sasha deliberately kept her swords away from her face as to not hurt her. Because she loves her. Because she doesn't want to scar her 😭 Anne is trying to actually kill her out of pure rage and she's just thinking about how to stop her without hurting her.

honestly tho theres such a difference between their two swordfights bc in reunion anne is really on the defensive almost the whole time

sasha makes the first move and anne only raises her sword to protect sprig

like especially in the first parts of it sure shes pissed off as hell at sasha but shes mostly like. hold on are we seriously doing this gladiator style.

like look at her face when grime annouces the trial by combat. she doesnt want to fight her!

and meanwhile sasha is the one who makes the first move and runs at her and anne is like oh SHIT i gotta not get stabbed to death that isnt supposed happen to anyone until next season finale!

like you can tell just from their stances here. anne is just trying to defend herself and the frogs but sasha has been living this toad life for months now and has gotten wayyy into the warlord teen lifestyle. even tho shes super pissed in some of these scenes every time sasha tries to land an actual hit shes super shocked and betrayed looking.

this is her bestie who she was so excited to reunite with! how did things go so wrong?

but sasha being so so willing to resort to violence against anne and the plantars is too much for anne and shes like ok fine. were doing this. and she pushes sasha back and disarms her but scars her in doing so.

i wouldnt say anne is more brutal overall in this fight because like. sasha was the one trying to kill her frog family and actively trying to win this literal battle with literal swords this whole time! and sasha almost won but anne stood up to her at that last moment.

honestly they shouldve both been hurt in this fight but a disney show isnt gonna show cuts and scars unless theyre plot relevant. matt braly had to FIGHT for darcy to get the cut on its face in all in and made the blood green as a compromise. i see it as more symbolic than anything i guess? like any of those other moves couldve left scars--annes aiming for sashas weapons anyways and slashes her face at the same time bc of the angle--and it serves as a reminder of who sasha is now and what happened between them.

true colors though. true colors is where things are different.

anne has finally given up on sasha being her friend. she gave her a second chance and she still betrayed her. just like last time shes been put in a situation of sashas making where the only way out seems to be violence. theres something to be said abt what happens when you put these kids in a war environment and give them swords and then tell them to work out their feelings. the soldiers surround you and you both have sharp deadly weapons...what choice do you have? every sign is pointing towards doing what you need to survive.

and so sasha tries to talk things out and anne just wont hear any of it. the toad army is already on their way! sasha betrayed her sasha is causing all of this she cannot let sasha get in her way

and for once! sasha is actually in the RIGHT! before sasha was doing some really terrible things and anne absolutely needed to stand up to her. but sasha wants to talk things out peacefully so they can work together to take down the king! she loves anne but also she doesnt NEED violence to win this. at least she SHOULDNT. she wants anne to be on her side! on the RIGHT side! she doesnt need her swords to do that!

but anne is in a place where she will not listen to anything sasha has to say because what reason does she have to trust her? shes proven time and again that shes a ruthlessly manipulative backstabber and will use that to get what she wants. shes put this entire kingdom at risk--full of newts she met and befriended and her own friends and allies in the castle--and she needs to be stopped at any cost.

man i dont even know where to finish all this with partly bc i cant fully get into anne and sashas heads there and also because i cant get true colors to load to get screenshots lol. its just such a moment from that episode that often gets overlooked for the calamity powers and stab scenes during the battle in the castle but... yeah i believe the storyboard artist actually confirmed that anne was intended to be actively going for sashas vitals there like damn

[the-ellia-west]

Hio been thinking about asking you this for a while but kept forgetting

Been thinking about angsty scenarios for characters u see and some questions popped up that now will be yours to answer if you'd like

1-what would your oc do if they meet their younger much happier selve? Or in reverse their older and wiser and more bitter self?

2-your characters are locked in a mysterious space, and they can't get out unless they relive their greatest regret. What will they do? How would they react? Ps: Even if they're reliving that moment, no matter how they choose to act, what happend won't change

3-your original characters are put in a situation where they must face their greatest mental dilemma, be it an inferiority complex or traumatic experience that they still haven't moved on from or even their own self worth issues(if they have any) well basically any thoughts that they always bury deep in their heart and ignore to avoid facing their problems and so these characyers have to del with these mental barriers to solve whatever situation they are in

Ps: its not the mysterious space from #2 it could be any plot relevant situation or any non relevant to plot situation you think of

4-if your characters traveled to an alternate world of their own world, what would they do? Yk like a world where those they lost are still there or a world where their other selves didn't have to abandon whatever it was they abandoned or smth like that

Would they love it?

Would they hate it?

Would they bitterly part ways with it? And why?

Would they leave anything there? Wether accidentally or purposely? What would it be?

Thats all i thought of so far hope these questions aren't bothersome 😅 really wanted to make a post about them with my own characters and tag you in it ro see your take but this week has been chuck full of work and i hadn't managed any time to do that yet 🥲

EHEHEHHEHE THANK YOU FOR THE ASK @supercimi

1. I need to write this as an Au for J&R but for TCOT, Baby Kasi would think she's weird, and Baby Marril would be happy that he looks like his dad

2. OOH THIS ONE IS DARKKKK. Because both characters I thought of when I read this would kill themselves attempting to save the person they lost. Jak would burn himself alive, and Marril would drown himself.

3. Are you asking what they would do or what it is? I'll answer for both. Marril's is the guilt over his first murder, and he would face it head on with his weapons because he knows now he can change something. Meanwhile Jak... all of that mess... he would probably curl up in a corner and cry.

4. Marril's world is where his first murder victim swapped places with him. He would hug her and apologize. She would mistake him for his father.

He would have mixed feelings, bc on one hand, she's alive, on the other hand, she's cursed and an Assassin.

He would be glad to go home because he likes his potential of a happy ending better than the corrupted version of someone he used to love.

He may or may not leave behind tips to escape the curse.

(Eveny & Rune Survived with Finn as their replacement for Rose. J&R both died in this universe) Jak would be SHATTERED in his universe, he wouldn't care about anything really, he'd just be happy he has his wife back. She would also have a COMPLICATED array of Emotional issues bc Eynalis would turn his attention to her in Jak's absence. But because Rune survived, she would be determined to hold out for him.

These two, both disheveled and in mental pieces, would just be happy to have each other back. (Though they'd both mourn this universe's Rose's Loss)

He & this universe's Eveny & Rune would FIGHT to keep him, but when he has to leave, he would leave her some flowers because he has nothing else to give.

I love these questions and I will be writing Aus for #1 & #4

[pwnyta]

Oh, don’t get me wrong, I get it! “Going by what sounds better” types of pairing names can completely work, for example, like in Hannigram, but they mostly work bc majority of the time people mean a very specific pairing dynamic (95% of the time when people say “Hannigram” they mean top Hannibal and bottom Will, it’s just generally hard to see this two shipped the other way around). I am not sure if I’ve explained what I mean well enough, but yea, those “nice sounding” ship names can totally work, but they usually work in very specific scenarios, you know what I mean?

Also, I gotta agree! As someone who sometimes likes feminine men/short kings/“pretty boys” as tops, it really sucks when I finally find a work with this kind of non-standard top just to be bamboozeled :/ I really like Aster from NU:Carnival and would like to see works with him as top and Eiden (mc) as bottom, but you know…

btw, that’s a small thing, but I really don’t like how bad ship tagging is on AO3. If authors don’t go out of their way to put who is top and who is bottom in the additional tags, majority of the time you wouldn’t know. In my country we have our local big fanfic community and there you can easily filter couples depending on whether you want A/B or B/A (or if you like both you just don’t choose the sorting option for the specific dynamic). Sadly, because a lot of people in my country don’t speak English, that means that I just generally have less choices for works that I can read so I always end up going for sites :(

'it’s just generally hard to see this two shipped the other way around' Youve gained an enemy, Nonny.

Oh yeah I played Nu carnival for about 5 seconds for the Zhongli look alike & the hornee big tiddie priest but went 'I dont like porn this much... also if I cant see this ZL look alike getting railed whats the point? Also also Ahegao cringes me out...' so I feel you on that.

SERIOUSLY even beyond the shipping thing... AO3 tags are a fucking mess. The system itself would be so good if people just tagged what needed to be tagged and not every fucking thing that appears for even a second in the story. I dont even read fanfics anymore just cuz its a pain in the ass to find anything.... Same thing happened on Tumblr TBH. Phenomenal tagging system, bad taggers.

But yeah if you look up 'bottom (w/e character youre looking for)' you can at least find SOME stuff relevant to your interests...

[megamindsupremacy]

okay so like in the name of full transparency, i do know like, some things that happen later on in the show. which for the sake of not making this post even more horrifically long than it already is, i'm gonna put under a readmore

obv i know bill exists. i have seen so much bill angst in the GF tag this past week. also toxic exes billford? this is canon i believe

ford exists. hes been stuck in the bill dimension for like 30 years?

bill possesses dipper at some point which led to a ship that everyone is still mad about 11 years later

most of the stuff I know is from season 2 so a lot of the season 1 stuff is catching me completely off guard. i didn't know lil gideon existed

i also peeked ahead in the episode descriptions so i guess hes relevant to the season 1 finale. also someone in my notes told me the time travel baby is relevant so probably also a season 1 thing?

stan's basement is relevant somehow. something something portal?

something something memory wiping gun

something something stan stole ford's identity? i think? somehow? they dont really act similar like at all

or maybe the other way around

wait and that's related to the memory gun also

weirdmageddon exists but it is stopped by either mabel with spray paint or an axolotl. or both

oh wait pacifica becomes less of an asshole and her and dipper start dating (?) dipper is a loser about this bc dipper

i think those two gay policemen become relevant later on somehow

hey who has journal 1 is that revealed in the second season. is ford still holding onto it somehow. wait how did the journals get to gravity falls if hes still in the bill dimension

yall i know fiddleford exists and was fords college roommate (???) i just dont get how he went from fords roommate to crazy old man harassing local small children

he tried to stop ford from going into the bill dimension? and failed? is that why he went crazy old man

im trying to forget i know most of this so I can be appropriately surprised when its all revealed

how do ford and stan's names work?? it's Stanley and Stanford right? why did they split it stan/ford instead of stan/stan or lee/ford or something. that was stupid of them. if this is actually relevant to any identity thing NOBODY is allowed to tell me

also who the fuck named fiddleford because there's a venn diagram of these three's names and its a stupid one.

if anything happens to waddles im gonna kill everyone in this room and then [remembers suicide jokes are damaging to mine and other's mental health] Bill.

SOOS GETS A FIANCE. I REMEMBER THIS. GOOD FOR HIM. soos my fave.

nobody is allowed to tell me how correct or incorrect any of this is. vague and unhelpful laughing at me (/pos) in the tags ONLY

alright I’m watching gravity falls! Gonna liveblog it so block the tag if u want to ignore me

[lunarfortune]

busts open tumblr's door, I'm gonna crosspost both of my threads from twitter for convenience and make them considerably wordier. This is not solely my own ponderings but shared brain thoughts with @tahthetrickster

STRAP IN because I’m going to take the League tag on a wild ride involving these three gals and how relationships form between them.

Long post under the cut! 2.5k+ words

(updated 13 june 2023 to add fic)

We start with the most important part of this entire thing, developing the relationship between Sarah Fortune and Shyvana. Why would they even interact?

Because Ruination.

Wait, no, come back, not that one.

Very important note here that what kicked off this entire thing was literally me seeing Ruined Miss Fortune get revealed and thinking, hmm what if Ruined MF/Ruined Shyv, would be a shame if I thought too hard about that and got invested...

Much of this plotting was prior to Sentinels of Light event launching, so if you hated that, good news! It has zero bearing here.

So let's actually get to the girls. There are certain visual headcanons to take note of

For heights, Sarah is about 178cm and Shyvana comes in at a respectable 201cm. (Kat will come into this later but she is 181cm).

There are several things about Shyvana's design that irk me, so for the purpose of this au her traits are adjusted to emphasize her half dragon nature. She has digitigrade clawed feet, because giving her clawed heels is massively dumb, just make her digitigrade Riot. She leaves her Dragonguard armour behind under Jarvan's recommendation, so rather than the large, impractical "horns" from the helmet, she has much smaller real horns that are about 8-10cm large. She also bears a tail about \~91cm long in human form. Also her ears are pointed! Ruined Shyvana has pointed ears but base Shyvana does not, which should be a crime.

* These values are rough estimates bc frankly I'm just ballparking

Worth noting! Being a half-dragon and considerably more reptilian than a human, Shyvana does not have breasts.

First row 1) Official splash 2) LoR promotional key art

Second row 1) LoR Lv2 art 2) LoR lv1 art

Second image promo art that appears on patch notes sometimes

Barring one outlier (the key art) we can agree she is mostly depicted with some sort of hard plate scaling on her chest? So put a bit more emphasis on her being somewhat flat-chested, it will make more sense if Tah ever posts any writing referring to Shyvana's chest/pecs.

also she doesn't have external genitals but anyway this is just relevant for Tah's Kinktober collection

During her stay in Bilgewater, Shyvana wears mostly casual garb appropriate for the region, so attire such as this, with digitigrade style boots/sleeves (things like this) for traversing around the city with. Would you roam Bilgewater without some sort of footwear? I didn't think so.

Post-Harrowing many of those under Viego's possession retain some sort of visual indicator of what he did to them. Often this can be a streak of white hair left behind from their possessed form. For Sarah, she has a bold splash of white near her left temple. Shyvana bears one near the nape of her neck.

These are actually not too important in the long run, but immediately following the Harrowing and for Sarah's case especially, they are marks of betrayal and distrust. It leaves Sarah largely stuck at home and unable to conduct business as normal in Bilgewater proper for some time because its citizens are too volatile and it's better to just allow time for things to settle down and not rile them up further.

***

Shyvana finds her way to Bilgewater as a result of the intense distrust Demacians hold for her after the incident with Viego. She arrives as a sort of political refugee, Jarvan having petitioned to Sarah for her safety while Demacia struggles to restabilize. Many in Demacia want to see Shyvana permanently imprisoned or worse for her role in Viego's Ruination, and so Jarvan privately sends a missive to Sarah seeking asylum for Shyvana until it's safe for her to return.

Bilgewater isn't exactly the optimal choice but realistically there aren't too many people Jarvan can approach about "hey can you potentially host the half dragon that was involved in that disastrous near cataclysmic event we all just went through recently?" What with having been involved as well, Sarah understands. As previously noted, Sarah herself also faces an elevated level of distrust for her among Bilgewater denizens, resulting in her delegating affairs mostly from her own residence with Rafen's assistance.

Given that Sarah is for the most part stuck in her own home, you could say she's... experiencing a bit of boredom. This winds up being part of why she agrees to Jarvan's request, like okay, sure, send the dragon over, it couldn't end up being any worse for me than it is right now. A temporary housemate could give her something else to focus on. Both Shyvana and Sarah are initially told this could be months at most (but stabilization and rebuilding in Demacia takes longer than Jarvan anticipated so this ends up being over a year).

Sarah and Shyvana both suffer trauma from Viego's possession. Reminded of the cold, dark grip of the Mist, neither finds sleep easy to come by. While Viego may be gone, in some respects part of Sarah and Shyvana's minds are still trapped in the Harrowing, fearing that they could abruptly become aware that they are still possessed, that Viego was never defeated. They can't trust themselves, and they can't trust others. Being somewhat of a soldier and having the extended endurance of being half-dragon, Shyvana is able to make do with what little bits of rest she can catch. Sarah meanwhile is running on empty.

Exhaustion eats at her, she hasn't slept other than periods of time her body simply gives out, and she knows she can't deal with this for much longer. For the first few nights after Shyvana comes to Bilgewater, she lays awake listening to Sarah wandering restlessly through the villa. Only by sheer coincidence does Sarah (and Shyvana shortly after) find any sleep, abruptly passing out in Shyvana's grip after venting her frustrations in a fit of exhausted delirium. Realizing the following morning that she fell asleep at all, she latches onto a theory. It's silly, she realizes as she relays it to Shyvana, but so far it's the only lead she's got. If the terror of the Mist's cold embrace is what keeps her awake, would Shyvana's inherent warmth combat that? Could she rest without waking in fear that she's still controlled by the Mist? Shyvana doesn't mind entertaining this theory; if one of them can sleep at all she'll consider it beneficial. Being human though, Sarah gives off comparatively little body heat, unlike the elevated body temperature of a half-dragon.

Something something "there was only one bed" trope, except make it "we are deeply traumatized and sharing a bed out of necessity so we may feasibly get some rest and feel comforted by the warmth we give each other, otherwise the sleep exhaustion will eventually end us." So this mutual bed sharing frames much of how their relationship develops in the months following, because it's awfully hard to literally sleep with someone and not come to get to know them and grow close to them.

The closeness is not really a problem, until one Sarah Fortune abruptly realizes that her typical casual flirting is decidedly crossing into more... genuine territory, though thankfully Shyvana is seemingly oblivious, which was fine up until "oh gods am I pining." Add to her later mortification the fact Shyvana liked her as well but just assumed the flirting didn't mean anything since people don't typically like her and Sarah is a notorious flirt anyway, so she just kinda humoured it and inadvertently led Sarah to think she wasn't interested. Finally realizing their feelings are mutual though, the two do agree to trying a romantic relationship.

I know Kat's tattoo and scar are backwards, Shyvana's LoR key art is just goofy looking and looks worse flipped, accept it for the aesthetic

So with setting up Sarah and Shyvana out of the way, we move to Katarina and Shyvana. These two inherently cannot be a thing without developing Sarah and Shyvana first. All of this is set up with background Sarah/Kat; they have known each other for some years, and Kat is known to drop by Bilgewater on occasion in her downtime. They deny being anything more than friends with benefits at best, which.. will change later lol. But Sarah/Shyv is important because the relationship Sarah has with Shyvana affects a lot of how Kat treats her afterward, and Sarah's trust for Kat is what drives Shyvana to in turn pay more attention to Kat and regard her favourably later. Sarah's encouragement of Shyvana embracing her draconic nature rather than forcing herself to be more human is also a large part of what later sparks Kat's interest.

Since Sarah will never know ahead of time when Kat decides to pop by, the first time she does so while Shyvana is staying in Bilgewater goes quite.. disastrously, to say the least. The two have no respect for one another, and squabble frequently. Try as she might to put the presence of an infamous Noxian assassin currently in the house with her out of mind, Shyvana realizes that Kat does certain things with deliberate intent to rile her up. Several days of this is enough for Sarah finally to snap.

Snippet courtesy of Tah. (THIS IS OUTDATED NOW I THINK BUT YOU GET THE IDEA)

Kat is content to take "be silent" to heart and just ignore Shyvana outright. She has no reason to play nice with a good little loyal Demacian. As far as she's concerned, there's nothing to be said between them that wouldn't get her angry. She does question Sarah as to why she cares so much of this little fling of hers, which Sarah regards with some confusion. It's certainly not a fling, and in fact, Sarah may not even be around now if Shyvana hadn't come to her when she did. The long period of sleep deprivation had been taking its toll on her, and she had been very much near the end of her rope.

Listening to how fondly Sarah speaks of the half-dragon, it is with great horror that Kat realizes she had been wrong about certain assumptions (namely telling Shyvana that she was nothing more than a toy Fortune would eventually tire of) and she has to make an apology (largely for Sarah's sake, of course). While not.. impressed by this debacle, Kat apologizing at all (and seemingly in great pain doing so) does leave Shyvana curious and she decides maybe there is something to her after all.

The two don't inherently get along after this but over the months they warily regard each other and come to find a sort of kinship in both being disillusioned soldiers, that neither is the mindless loyal soldier that the other thought. Being in neutral ground at Sarah's residence and finding common ground with each other, gradually they relax around one another. Kat's visitations no longer puts Shyvana on guard, and Shyvana's presence is one Kat accepts without ridicule. Sarah could not ask for a better outcome! With this slowburning friendship of sorts the two start to develop, Shyvana realizes that when she thinks about the things she has learned over the months, there is certainly more to Kat that interests her.

She likes her, in fact.

It's a simple thought, and Shyvana chews on it for a while. Kat intrigues her, provides a good sparring partner and is clearly physically attractive but if Shyvana approaches this carelessly then Kat could very well rebuff her instantly. So she waits patiently. She lets their relationship, both the budding one between herself and Kat and the three way one with Sarah, flow naturally, until one day seeking advice from Sarah on the prospect of potentially courting Kat.

***

It really is hard to condense months worth of discussion and character exploration into a single post but this sure is an attempt. There is so much more we have discussed but also like... ultimately this is our big headcanon playground we have built up, this thing is essentially our baby there will be one of those too

. When the Kat/Shyv aspect forms, it in turn drives Sarah and Kat to accepting there is more between them than they've ever allowed themselves to think. It's a very slow process of the three of them, each with their own baggage and hang ups, learning to slowly trust one another with the pieces of themselves they can't entrust to anyone else.

This has been absolute HELL for me to type up but if anyone else enjoys it then worth ✌

__

Tah's currently posted works involving this pair:

Manicure - Sarah/Shyvana, Teen+

My Favorite Most Dangerous Fascination - Misc pairings, Explicit, Kinktober (slow updates but planned Kat/Shyv and Sarah/Kat/Shyv at a later date) (MAYBE)

I HAVE FINALLY UPDATED THIS 13 JUN 2023 WITH SOME OTHER STUFF WAHOO

Morning Routine - Sarah/Shyana, Teen+

Redolent of Romance - Misc, Teen+, Twitter prompt drabbles

Animal Oddity - Sarah/Shyvana, Mature, THE BIG ONE THE MAIN EVENT THE LONGFIC (Chapter 2 up!) ✨✨✨

__

Miscellaneous tidbits that are not chronological:

While Shyvana may be called Ana by some Demacians like Jarvan and the Dragonguard, Sarah and others call her Shyv. Rather region appropriate because a shiv is also a homemade knife, and Bilgewater isn't lacking those

Bilgewater simply does not care in regard to Shyvana being half-dragon. They have fish and reptile people and all manner of oddities, Shyvana is frankly just another day of the week. It's something that surprises her initially, being so used to being regarded unfavourably in Demacia simply for existing, though she understandably comes to find it a relief.

Sarah likes braiding trinkets into Shyvana's hair, including ones bearing her own crest. She's not claiming Shyvana, what makes you think that

Stretching dragon peets

Shyvana tends to workout and do some personal training sessions in the morning to stay in shape since she's not on duty for the time being.

Kat and Shyvana's first spar was Kat looking to prove a point and getting her ass handed to her. While a bit shameful (Kat is Not Immune to strong buff women!), it's been a long while since either had had a strong opponent so sparring becomes a habit when Kat drops by. Which she also complains about because she is also off duty, Fortune your dragon is making me work 🙄

Sarah took one look at Shyvana's Dragonguard armour once and laughed her ass off. Oh hun, no, who made this, you're better off just relying on your natural dragon scale. She later had some more appropriate styled armour made. She has her own forge and has a better eye for metalwork than.. whatever that red mess was.

While the Sentinels event never happened here, the skirmish between Shyvana and Vayne did in some aspect, and Shyvana retains some scarring from Vayne's bolts that sometimes ache with incoming bad weather.

Shyvana does make periodic visits back to Bilgewater when she returns to Demacia, and she and Sarah exchange letters while they are apart. Curiously she experiences feelings of homesickness despite being home and it takes her a while to realize that sometimes home is not necessarily the place you live, but the person you love. (Sarah is absolutely NOT acknowledging the deep pining she was struck with after Shyvana left, Rafen will say it was quite sad and pathetic to watch though) This eventually leads to Shyvana making arrangements to relocate to Bilgewater as a sort of ambassador.

Sarah has several pets: a three-legged cat named Scurvy, a spectral shark named Atlas, and a spiderling (roughly the size of a housecat) named Mila. Mila is one of Elise's spiders and is part of... an entirely different can of worms I'll have to explain sometime 😭 but she grew on Sarah. Sarah knows when they've spotted a fly because both cat and spiderling will sit together watching patiently. (GUESS WHAT RUINED KING SAYS MY HC OF ELISE SOMETIMES HUNTING IN BILGEWATER IS VALID THO)

Some years down the line and through the aid of some magics that took a lot of work to find, the three have a daughter together named Adeline Fortune. Addie bears genetics and characteristics of all three of her mothers; it's a fantasy world, don't think too hard about it.

[autistic-shaiapouf]

So I wrote a giant analysis on pouf in response to an ask I got, but it never showed up in the tags, so I'm manually reposting this because 1) I'm very proud of this and 2) I want everyone to see it. That being said:

[Image I.D.: Screenshot of an anonymous ask that says:

what do you think is the significance of pouf's wings becoming detached from his body upon his death.

one youtuber said they felt it was to show that he died not as an ant but a human. that before his death he realized what the king and komugi had was love and that allowed him to more fully understand his love for his king and so died sacrificing himself for love.

you are one of the best pouf fans out there imo tho so i wanted to know what you think.

End I.D.]

Hmmmm alright I definitely have some Thoughts on this, tying it all back to love is an excellent way to look at it + is thematically relevant in what feels to me like one of the most heart crushing possible ways. I've had some thoughts on pouf's death before and I'll tie those in as well, but never thought too too much about the way that shot of the wings being torn up played into it. So, given that, here's what I think: I think it could also be symbolic in a sense of lost purpose.

(Putting the rest of this under a cut bc I got a little swept up in writing about this!)

Pouf being a butterfly is wonderfully ironic, in that they're representative of change while pouf was very staunch in his thoughts about how things should be. Honing in directly on the wings, they're the main signifier of the insect - without the wings, it doesn't look identifiable as a butterfly at all. Wings are the main part of the insect, the first and foremost method of identification, the image of the butterfly itself. Without wings, the entire identity of the insect is jeopardized and it literally cant fulfill its ultimate purpose of reproduction (it also likely wouldn't be able to access to food and would die but for the sake of the discussion, let's ignore that).

Now let's talk about pouf. He has a sense of purpose, a strong one at that, and he personally views that purpose as service. His ability to serve is what he views as his life's work, which is especially notable against pitou and youpi, both of who developed as characters and were able to gain a larger awareness of themselves, still thinking about their service to meruem, but also about themselves as individuals and what that meant in terms of their own service, be it pitou and their development of empathy, or youpi and his learning mercy (both of which pair nicely with meruem's own developments through the arc).

In this respect, pouf's development is unique in the way that it's double-edged, his actions are both selfish and selfless. His attacking komugi is selfish in the respect of him completely ignoring meruem's own wants and feelings, but also selfless in the respect of pouf wholeheartedly believing it's the right thing to do, with him fully acknowledging that he risks his own death to do this. Ultimately, his overall development is, for the most part, negative, considering how, narrative-wise, he becomes increasingly more antagonistic, while the other guards develop in a more positive fashion.

All that being said, while love is absolutely a huge theme of the arc, I personally wanna tie in sense of purpose with the overall tragedy of pouf's arc since it's something he canonically struggles with, notably when he feels like he can't do enough to fulfill this purpose. He constantly struggles with the idea of whether or not he's doing the right thing or everything he can, and implodes pretty frequently because he feels inadequate. His growing desperation when he resolves to actually kill komugi highlights this pretty well; he's willing to throw away everything he's got for this singular mission, willing to die if it means serving well.

This makes that final scene where meruem remembers komugi all the more interesting, with both the ideas of love and service taken into account. With my own interpretation of service and purpose, that scene marks exactly where pouf completely self destructs. He can no longer construct that perfect image and he himself will never be a perfect guard, every expectation he'd ever had for either himself or meruem shattered. Meruem's learning of love and the value of life contradicts pouf's own visions and are also something that can't be taken back or undone, leading to pouf believing that he irreversibly failed, leading to that final scene of him dead in the dirt, wings torn to shreds.

But adding in the idea of love? That gives almost the opposite interpretation, which I believe would entail pouf coming to terms with realizing how different the love he felt for meruem was when compared to what meruem felt for komugi, with how pouf's own love was suffocating and, to an extent, based on expectations, versus meruem's being about acceptance and having a focus on the individual. In this case, it's possible for pouf to still die feeling unfulfilled, having realized how different meruem was from what he'd been focused on and realizing how different those two types of love truly are. He dies knowing full well that his actions were selfish and still considers himself a failure, unable to have even properly appreciated his king and ultimately betraying him in the end (though I could also just be over dramatizing this a bit). Either that, or seeing that kind of love for a "lesser" being and seeing the exact thing he wanted to prevent in full bloom in front of him, also leading to the same result. All in all, his arc is ultimately a tragedy and I don't think there's any other way it could've gone.

In either scenario, he dies in misery, seeing how badly he messed up, whether it's grounded in reality or not. Both scenarios include a loss of purpose, either in a highly personal sense of self expression, or in a slightly more grounded realization of actions having consequences (on other people). In both cases, he feels like he's made mistakes he can't take back, and those mistakes ultimately can't exist with his image of his identity as a royal guard. Regardless of the lead up, he feels like he's failed and lost all sense of purpose, which I suppose could make dying feel like a righteous act.

He did mention at one point that after meruem becomes what would essentially be the ultimate lifeform, pouf would take his own life as penance for having never been a good enough guard. Though, this also occurs pretty early in the arc, before a lot of development, it still provides some insight into what kind of value he places on his life. This comes up again when he considers that he might be killed if he kills komugi, but he still feels willing to carry it out. With both of these examples, it feels suffice to say that he doesn't put much consideration into his own life, preferring to think of himself as a royal guard, rather than an individual. Once more, this contrasts with pitou and youpi, who learned to see others as individuals and, by extent, were able to do the same for themselves. This disregard for his own life also puts pouf in a position where things are black and white, he's either worth his life or he isn't. I'm not saying he would've been happy to die, but I feel that it's definitely possible he could've felt that it was the only thing appropriate for him to do, a final action befitting the likes of him.

On a secondary note, pouf was the only guard to die off screen. Pitou's entire death is on screen and we know for a fact that they felt okay with their own death, having done the most they could to protect meruem. Youpi's death is seen in a flashback, and his development and status in that human/ant dichotomy is also a little more nebulous, so it feels thematically appropriate to actually show it, but not in the moment. Pouf's off screen death feels like it signifies something much more harsh; while the other two experienced development that let them feel at least somewhat more fulfilled (explicitly so in pitou's case), pouf never quite managed to reach the same place. The implication I read into is that he was so attached to the idea of what meruem (and what he himself) could be that he wasn't able to see beyond those idealized images and ultimately thought of himself as a failure for being unable to bring either of those images to light. Both pitou and youpi's developments focused on their abilities to perceive the wills and emotions of others - empathy and mercy + compassion, contrasting sharply with pouf descending into himself and his own mind.

The note about him having died as more human than ant is especially interesting in the light of another fact about his death: he died alone. "Alone", rather. Pitou died in battle and also felt that they'd done everything they could, youpi died while talking with welfin, but pouf died after meruem had already left. Notably, he died surrounded by humans. Humans he'd brought under hypnosis, who proceeded to die with him. Yes, he died surrounded by everything he despised, but the idea of him joining their ranks as he passes? Of having that small change of heart and being forced to open his eyes? That has more power than I could put into words.

All that being said, pouf is pretty complex as a character actually and I could talk about him for hours, as evidenced by how I accidentally wrote a full-fledged essay skjdkdjffk thank you for the ask!! I had fun pulling my thoughts together on this one!! Being called "one of the best pouf fans out there" warms my heart to an IMMENSE degree 🙌🦋💕

[workingchemistry]

Look. I was trying to be nice. Going into a character’s tag and claiming that another character is morally superior and the only reason someone might like this character is due to puritanical cultural decline, if not outright misogyny, racism, homophobia, etc is extraordinarily rude. I was trying to gently nudge you into staying in your own lane. Good fandom etiquette is to not throw character hate into its main tag.

That being said, you completely ignored my whole post to start condescendingly cussing at me about my half joking tags in which I stated trauma is not a get out of murder free card. So here are my full thoughts.

1. When Anakin is left absent in a fic, it’s because he’s not needed for whatever story the author is telling. Don’t like, don’t read. It’s not that deep

2. I’m sorry you don’t like people’s AUs that replace Anakin. It is a common trope of practically every fandom to put your blorbo into the shoes of another. In the Batfam fandom, there are a million and five AUs throwing all of the Robins into one another's shoes. There is no agenda or cultural more behind this sort of AU, the only person who’s making moral and intellectual judgements here is you. Again, if this is not the sort of thing you enjoy then then don’t like, don’t read.

3. Anakin and Fox are not equivocal as characters or even as ideas. They both deal with themes of autonomy and slavery but in the end they have completely different positions of power. Anakin is a freed slave turned powerful Jedi, Fox is a sentient being grown in a lab to die. These are different stories and they have different personalities and make different choices. Fox is not a good person who makes a terrible mistake, he’s a good person who isn’t given the option to make a mistake. Maybe he’s not even a good person. Maybe he would have made those choices anyway. It doesn’t matter because he doesn’t get to choose. Good soldiers follow orders and Fox is literally the best. (Canonically the most decorated clone in the GAR.) Anakin is a character who has the freedom to make bad choices, Fox is someone who was genetically engineered to lack free will. (Whether that succeeded is up to debate, but he wasn’t supposed to have it.) This crucial difference will drive the narrative in completely different directions.

4. Quite frankly trauma is not a get out of judgment free card. I say this as someone with complex PTSD borne from both adult and childhood trauma, you cannot hurt someone (the tusken raiders, the entire Jedi culture, your wife and brother/guardian, the entire planet of aldaraan, and your children) and then be like but I’m not bad bc I was traumatized. Trauma introduces nuance, it doesn’t justify hurting other people or make someone worthy of complete absolution.

5. According to the genocide convention of 1984 (which is only barely relevant because this is science FICTION and not beholden to real life treaties that don’t account for interplanetary wars)

Anakin was party to the destruction of the entire Jedi order by killing members of the group, he was party to the destruction of an entire planet which I feel falls under that definition nicely, and he killed the tusken raiders solely because of their race/ethnicity/species. Anakin intended to wipe out the Jedi and Aldaraan, the Jedi due to their culture and Aldaraan due to their politics. Note that it says “with intent to destroy in whole or in part”. Perhaps with the Raiders it was only a village, but an entire village does fall under the definition of in part. The first two instances involving the destruction of an entire religious group and entire nation/planet are definitely genocide, the third is either genocide or a hate crime. Either way Anakin didn’t make a boo-boo. He murdered people because he was scared of being alone and then had to deal with the consequences of his own actions. Yes he made the right choice in the end, that doesn’t erase his actions.

6. Frankly, I don’t know where you get off saying I don’t like Anakin as much as the next person when I’ve been obsessed with this wet scrungly meow meow of a man for 20+ years. You don’t know me or my involvement in the fandom. Having a different opinion of and/or liking Anakin differently from you does not give you leave to be rude and aggressive to me.

Your play at intellectual and moral superiority is annoying. This is fandom. Liking one character over another for certain tropes is not that deep. If seeing people enjoy playing with a character is that egregious to you, perhaps you need to examine your own fandom consumption.

Mostly to save myself some space on a post later, I'm gonna be anecdotal for a second and talk about my complicated feelings about Fox whump.

For context, I've actually enjoyed Fox whump on occasion. Recently, I even wrote a tiny bit of it. While I have not delved much into Fox fan creations (other than the fic This, too, was a gift, and my enjoyment this incredible fanart), I have, for a long time, been observing Fox fans & Fox spaces and noticing certain trends in the Fox & Corrie Guard fandom. Although Fox has about two minutes of screentime for the entirety of TCW (and never removes his helmet IIRC), fandom has expanded upon his character with an enormous amount of headcanon. To keep us all on the same page, I'd like to establish a baseline of my understanding of his character. For starters, people seem to characterize Fox as a good person but also (endearingly) a total trainwreck. He's someone who has made mistakes and done some not-so-great things, who huffs and haws and gripes and groans, but who eventually decides to do the right thing. Generally, Fox fans seem to agree that Palpatine is manipulative and abusive of him and the Corrie Guard, but they do tend to fall shy of acknowledging that Anakin was one of Palpatine's primary victims. In fact, despite the amount of attention Fox fans seem to devote to Obi-Wan (and Codywan as a ship), their headcanons leave Anakin mysteriously absent. At worst, the Fox fandom seems notoriously biased against Anakin and has characterized him in ways much worse than pre-O66 material actually shows him to be.

Normally, this kind of headcanoning wouldn't be an issue to me. As a writer of trashy noncon, I support the stance that every fan should be allowed to create, headcanon, and play as they wish in their fictional sandbox. In the case of Fox fanon, however, I have misgivings. These headcanons, characterizations, and portrayals of whump tend to usurp everything about Anakin's storyline and fill it with Fox instead. For a classic example, see this post's idea to put Fox in a situation practically identical to popular Darth Vader/Anakin fanlore. For another example, see this poll where Fox outscores everyone by a landslide on the matter of who deserves to kill Palpatine the most, a poll upon which Anakin doesn't even make the list. Additionally, see this popular post listing the top three characters who deserve to kill Palpatine, upon which Fox ranks No. 2 and Anakin isn't featured at all. That's Fox, a character with two minutes of screentime (much of which was spent killing Fives), versus Anakin, the protagonist of the PT and the character who actually killed Palpatine. Though only tangentially related, I've also seen fanart that paired a member of the Corrie Guard with Padme, Anakin's own wife! From where I'm standing, Fox and/or the Corrie Guard seems very much like a convenient substitute for the gaps made by tearing Anakin out of his own narrative.

In this sense, the existence of Fox fanon & whump is completely baffling to me. The PT and the OT (the most canonical of canon!) have already provided the exact character that Fox fans seem to crave. Anakin was the victim who was groomed, manipulated, and abused by Palpatine before and after Order 66. Anakin is the good person who made a terrible mistake, the one who huffs and haws and gripes and groans but does the right thing in the end. Anakin is a gift to those exact interests, and what did the Fox fandom do? They denied this gift so fiercely that they had to invent their own fanonical blorbo to take Anakin's place.

Time and time again, I've wondered what could possibly explain this. So far, my developing hypothesis does not bode well. Outside of fandom, society as a whole is currently cycling through another unmerciful and intolerant phase (i.e. cancel culture, purity culture, censorship, etc). It's true that people must face the consequences of their actions and that justice is incredibly important—but there's a fine line between justice and revenge, and an even finer line between preventative and punitive justice. Even the scummiest scum of the earth deserve to be treated humanely. For those who live in the United States, there's a reason the Bill of Rights contains the Eighth Amendment—the government's duty to protect its citizen from cruel and unusual punishment. The idea that it's morally acceptable to treat "evil people" (i.e. murderers, rapists, etc.) like dogshit while they are locked up and/or prevented from doing further harm is one core flavor of the the newest brand of purity culture, but this time it's being weaponized by extremists on the radical left.

Coupled with societal distate toward any villain perceived to be appealing to a young female audience (you know which villains I mean), this new brand of purity culture has invaded fandom spaces as well. In countless narratives, authors are denied or criticized for giving fictional villains redemption arcs. In countless posts, fans are denied or criticized for feeling sympathy toward the ways in which villains can be victims. In Star Wars specifically, a large portion of fandom refuses to acknowledge Anakin's suffering. They label him as evil from birth and/or puberty, and they feel little-to-no compassion for the ways in which he was abused and traumatized (see this post for further description of this subject). Some of fandom even demonizes people like me for not sharing their viewpoints.

It makes sense that people who have been swayed by this new wave of puritanical propaganda will attempt to nullify any morbid fascination they feel toward Palpatine's abuse of Anakin/Vader. Showing sympathy toward a child-killer could easily result in an uncomfortable level of cognitive dissonance, after all. Thus, my hypothesis is that fandom created a new blorbo to cope with their guilt-ridden interest in Anakin. They created a palatable blorbo. A blorbo who shares the same general vibes but has committed less atrocities and is, therefore, still "redeemable." A blorbo who, by virtue of being a fanon creation, is inaccessible to the misogynist disgust society holds toward well-known villains. In other words, I believe that Fox fanon sprung from people's inability to face their sympathy for Anakin—or rather their inability to face the fact that there is no simple answer to the overlap between villainy and victimhood. And now, because of that, we have Fox whump. We have Fox fans who are convinced that a character who shares many similar attributes was evil from birth and/or puberty.

Whether my hypothesis is true or false, I am well aware that there is nothing I can do about the existence of Fox fanon now. I have little interest in ridding the world of Fox fanon anyway... In actuality, I hope with all of my soul that my hypothesis is false. Why? Because if my hypothesis is true, then that's a problem. And it hasn't gone away. And it isn't going away. Regardless of whether we individually like Fox or not, I think it's incredibly important that we collectively reflect on this.

[twink-appreciation-posts]

Human Behavior - Spencer Reid x Reader

chapter thirteen of “all bets are off”

feelings are so complicated i think we should just abolish them, everyone feels nothing forever.

warnings: semi-public stuff, teasing, angst, feelings feelings feelings, spencer is lowkey an asshole but it’s okay bc it’s hot

“Hey, if it’s not too much trouble, wear a skirt tomorrow.”

Those were Spencer’s final words to you that night as you walked him out of your apartment. At the time you had barely responded, still feeling quite upset about nothing, but when you awoke in the morning you felt a bit bad about kicking him out, so you opted to at least do something nice and follow his instructions.

You tugged at the skirt a bit as you walked into the lobby of your office building. “You listened.” Spencer grinned as he noticed you walking in, approaching you. You gave him a tired smile, wishing you had had a bit more time to prepare before being thrust right back into the fire that was your interactions with him.

“Yeah, yeah. I didn’t wanna deal with being reprimanded all day for not doing what you asked.” You replied a bit too snappily. Spencer looked at you quizzically.

"Are you okay?” He asked, seeming confused.

You nodded. “Totally fine, Spence. Tired, but fine.” You assured him. It was true. You were fine, your head just kind of… hurt? Like a bit of a physical headache, but also just mental exhaustion. Damn. You hadn’t taken into account the fact that rough sex for a week and a half could cause some fatigue. Oh well, you had dealt with worse in your life.

Spencer hesitated, analyzing you. “Are you sure?”

“100%.” You fiddled with the fabric of your shirt.

He frowned a bit, not quite believing you, but not wanting to push it. “Well, hey, I have something to give you!” He perked up a bit, and you found yourself perking up as well. A present? He ruffled through his bag. “Take the stairs with me?” You tilted your head curiously and nodded, treading behind Spencer as he walked into the stairwell. He pulled a little box out of his bag, and you watched, eyes locked on as he opened it to reveal a dainty little choker. You felt all sorts of emotions, the overwhelming one being confusion, seconded by some form of excitement.

“What’s that?” You asked, a stupid question considering it was obvious.

“A gift.” He grinned, picking it up out of its box and allowing you to take a better look. “I know you said something about one with a little bell, I was considering maybe taking it a step further and adding a tag with my contact information in case you get lost,” He teased, and you felt yourself turn pale. Oh yeah, you had teased him about a collar. But this? You should have been embarrassed, but it was kind of pretty. And it was a gift. From Spencer. Spencer had bought you a gift. You blushed. “But, I thought this would be a bit more suitable for day-to-day life. A bit more subtle.”

You nibbled your bottom lip a bit. “Ah, so this is the notorious collar I’ve been dreading?” You chuckled a bit. “It’s um, it’s kind of pretty. Definitely not as bad as it could have been.” You stuttered.

“Can I put it on you?” He asked, almost excitedly.

You couldn’t help but grin. “Am I allowed to say no?”

He laughed. “You are, of course, but if you do accept this gift, there are some rules that come with it.”

“Oh, hooray. More of your infamous rules!” You exclaimed sarcastically. “Can I ask what they are before I let you trap me in them?” You questioned.

“Of course,” he tucked your hair behind your ear gently. “You should keep the collar on at all times unless you get my permission to take it off. This doesn’t include when you shower, of course, but even when you’re at home alone or at work it should stay on.”

You considered this for a moment. “What about when I sleep?” You asked.

“I think it should be more than comfortable to sleep in, but if not we can talk about it.” He assured you, fingers running over the fabric of the choker.

You shrugged in defeat.“I guess the only way to know is to try it on, yeah?”

That was all it took for him to move towards you, clasping it around your neck. Your hand went up to touch the new jewelry. “Velvet,” you chuckled knowingly, fingers grazing the soft fabric. “Still your favorite, huh?”

His eyes were locked on your neck, “It looks good on you, what can I say?” His breathing became a bit heavier as he took in the sight.

It was almost weird seeing him so openly affected by you. You felt a surge of power. “Mm, I think this whole collar thing was more for you than me, huh?” You teased.

“I like seeing you wear a physical reminder of who owns you.” He admitted, running a hand through his hair.

You had one goal in mind as you watched him grow more flustered by the second. “Of course you do. You like the power you have over me, don’t you daddy?” His eyes snapped up to meet yours, and you felt your knees weaken. “But we should get to work before we’re both late, don’t you think?” You walked past him, shoulder brushing his, as you began walking up the stairs. You didn’t make it far, though, before he grabbed your arm, stopping you in place.

“Where did this confidence come from all of a sudden?” He asked, voice low.

“I can enjoy my power over you just as much as you can enjoy your power over me.” You replied, attempting to gently tug your arm away.

You waited for another snarky comment, but instead were met with a tug. Spencer turned you around, lips slamming onto yours almost painfully, and his other hand moved to your jaw, forcing your lips apart further and granting his tongue access to your mouth. You kissed him back, of course, hands running through his hair. It didn’t take long for his hands to begin to wander, one finding t's way down in between your skirt, caressing the bare skin of your thighs. You whimpered into his mouth, flinching away, scared to make too much noise even in the stairwell. Spencer pulled his lips away from yours, using his knee to push your legs apart, widening your stance, hands wandering higher, rubbing circles on your inner thigh.

“You suck.” You breathed out.

He didn’t reply, only pushed his leg further between your legs. You felt your body began to grind against it automatically, craving the friction. You let out a huff of frustration and pleasure, angry at your body for giving in so easily. “What are you doing, Y/N?” Spencer asked.

You looked away, face red, and stopped. His hand moved back to your jaw, forcing you to look at him as he spoke. “Did I tell you to stop?” You shook your head, or at least tried to considering he was holding your face. “Then why did you?”

Why did you stop? Because you were embarrassed? Because you were going to be late for work? There were plenty of reasons.

"I dunno.” You settled on. That didn’t seem to be the correct answer though.

“I think you do know. I think you’re embarrassed.” He placed a hand on your hip, pushing and pulling your body against his. You didn’t reply, eyes pointed at the floor. “No? Am I wrong?”

You stopped fighting your desire a bit now, allowing yourself to grind down a bit more onto him. You held back your moans as best you could, biting down on your lip to suppress them.

“I guess if you’re not embarrassed,” Spencer leaned down a bit, leaving a single kiss on your neck. “You’d be fine begging me to let you finish right here on my thigh.”

You gulped. No. God no. You were embarrassed. You were totally definitely embarrassed. “N-No-“

But it was too late, he was holding your waist, keeping you perfectly still. You groaned at the lack of stimulation, pushing against his grip to no avail. “Beg.” He repeated.

“P-Please, daddy?” You mumbled, looking up at him with your best and most convincing face of desperation.

“Please what?” He replied, showing no signs of sympathy.

“Please let me, um...” You trailed off. Did he seriously need to hear you say it? “Um... you know.”

He laughed a bit. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that, baby.” He cooed. Fucking hell could he get any more annoying?

You inhaled deeply. Fine. “C-Can I please ride your t-thigh?” You said quietly, staring at the ground.

“Of course you can.” He eased up his grip, allowing you to resume your previous movements, and you were grateful for it. He was kissed your neck, a hand firmly rooted in your hair, but it was short-lived. As you began to inch closer to release you felt him pull away a bit. Oh fuck no. He was not about to pull this again.

Except he was.

He moved his leg away from your body, leaving you without anything. “We’re late.” He said simply, glancing down at his watch, and you stared at him, anger and desire bubbling up inside of you.

“No. Spencer, no. Don’t do this, come on.” You whisper-yelled.

“Do what? You asked if you could ride my thigh, and you did, didn’t you?” You swore you could punch him right in his perfect face. You could shove him down the stairs, perhaps.

“Don’t argue semantics with me. You’re the absolute worst.” You seethed, pouting.

He paid you no mind, walking up the stairs. “We should hurry, we might miss the briefing, don’t you think?” You didn’t move, staring in disbelief, until it dawned on you that he genuinely had no intention of coming back. You groaned in frustration, walking up the stairs behind him in defeat.

You guys were, luckily, on time for the briefing, walking into the meeting room alongside the rest of your colleagues. Spencer took a seat next to you, and you scooted your chair away from his, crossing your arms. He glanced at you and raised a brow, amused. You glared. Who could blame you for feeling mildly angry at him and slightly petty? Especially after what he had just done. JJ began to explain a couple of new cases she was keeping her eye on, and you tried your best to pay attention to her rather than the man next to you who was clearly looking your way. He piped up eventually, citing some statistic that was relevant to the conversation, and used the opportunity to casually adjust his chair and the position he was sitting in, a hand nonchalantly brushing your leg. You knew it had to have been on purpose, right? No way this wasn’t one of his calculated moves. You pulled your leg away, crossing it over your other, and ignored him. The rest of the briefing really only consisted of you trying to control your thoughts, some of them horny and some of them about the violent things you wanted to do to Spencer for fucking you over like that. As soon as the meeting was done you made a beeline to the door, avoiding any chance of giving him time to talk to you.

“Hey, Y/N!” JJ called out, catching up to you.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing! I just noticed that necklace choker thing you’re wearing and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before. Is it new?” She asked, examining it.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you chuckled. “It is new. You like it?” You smiled, trying to appreciate the comment without thinking about everything else associated with the new gift.

JJ nodded sweetly. “I do. It really suits you.”

“Where’d you get it? You have a special someone in your life?” Emily was approaching you now, teasing, and you scoffed.

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “With this job? I barely have time for myself, let alone someone else. Plus, men aren’t worth the stress. I mean, there’s nothing they can do that a good ole’ piece of silicon can’t do better.” You joked.

Emily and JJ burst out with laughter, echoing sentiments of agreement. 

“I don’t get it.” You whipped around at the sound of Spencer’s voice behind you. He was staring at you, feigning some sort of innocence, but you knew. You knew he was doing this to mess with you.

“Oh, don’t worry about it Spence.” JJ giggled. “It’s not something you need to get.”

He shrugged in response, locking eyes with you before walking away.

"Can you imagine him in the bedroom?” Emily lowered her voice to be quieter. “I mean, he’s a human super-computer.”

“Before you joined the team he made out with some girl in a pool while he was supposed to be acting as her bodyguard. You’d be surprised.” JJ gossiped back, nudging you. “Remember that?”

You hadn’t actually remembered that event until now. It wasn’t really relevant to you, so you didn’t particularly keep it in mind. You had only heard a few jokes and stories about it, anyway.

“I don’t know what’s more surprising, the kissing or the choosing him as a bodyguard.” Emily chuckled.

You were tuned out of the conversation. How long ago had that been? You couldn’t remember exactly. Was he still in contact with her? He had never mentioned her before, sure, but you guys never really talked about that type of stuff.

“She was some superstar actress too,” JJ elaborated. “Famous from being on some beach bikini babe TV show. Typical upcoming Hollywood starlet. I don’t know how he managed to do it.”

You frowned. Fuck. Yeah. That girl had been gorgeous. And famous. And now he was messing around with you? “Do you think they still talk?” You tried to ask as casually as you could.

JJ thought about it for a moment. “Well, I’ve never heard anything about it, but he’d have been stupid not to keep in touch. I know she gave him her number.”

“We should get Garcia to hack his phone records and check for any California area codes.” Emily laughed.

"Maybe we should.” You half-joked back absentmindedly. You weren’t even sure if you really wanted to know if he still talked to her. It probably would’ve been better if you hadn’t remembered their whole affair altogether.

The three of you went your separate ways, walking to your desks, and you just sat and thought. A hand played at the velvet on your neck, fingers tracing over it. This whole thing with Spencer had made you feel more confused than any case you had ever worked in your life. Your job was to understand human behavior, and yet you were at a loss. You couldn’t understand him, but even worse, you couldn’t understand a thing about your own thoughts and feelings. Why were you so attached to a dude you had fucked a few times? Was it all just that weird post-sex sadness Spencer told you about? Was this normal? Or were you going insane, maybe? You couldn’t tell. Or maybe you could. Maybe you had just been suppressing the answer to all your questions, shrouded in denial. Maybe you weren't bad at understanding your own behavior, maybe you were just bad at accepting it. You needed coffee, you decided, so you got up, walking past Spencer’s desk, avoiding looking at him at all costs. He watched as you walked by and you almost laughed. He was a genius, but he was so unaware. You couldn’t blame him, you had been unaware of it too for a long time. But it seemed, despite your greatest efforts, it seemed you had fucked up. You thought your biggest mistake had been hooking up with him, but your mistakes had gone far beyond that. Oh, no. You had a much larger issue at hand. You had caught feelings for Spencer Reid.

taglist <33

@101donuts @annestine @spideyboix @babybloomer @welcome-to-hoeville @eldahae @brokenanxiety @andiebeaword @spencerwaltergubler @la-vie-en-amour1 @rainsong01 @taekwinkle @dreamer7black @guessthatswhyiliveinhell @creepingfromthecorners @joyousreid @slutforthegubes  @cluelessnitwhit  @downondilaudid @screeching-student-unknown @gretaamyk @thegingerfairchild  @criminal-minds-reider @spencerrreid-cm @collegestudentvevo @pastathighs @midnightsubmissives @spencer-reid-enthusiast @emilyxprentiss @drreidshands

[kouhaiofcolor]

2020's finally over. Can we not go into 2021 pacifying texturism w "It's just hair" tho?

It was "just hair" until Black Women started exercising the freedom to discover the unique needs & maintenance beneficial to our hair. Then as soon as non black women got wind of it & the nerve to lurk on platforms the natural hair community was uprising thru, nowadays you've got all these non black women bandwagoning & hashtagging literally everything under the sun w/ this fake ass inclusiveness, advocacy, relatability & support for textured hair. Like all women have suffered oppression around wearing their real hair 😒. Like all races of women have been socially targeted in blatant discriminations against their hair texture, complexion, & how acceptable they are or are not together. I hate the "All Hair (Matters/Is Beautiful/Is 'Good Hair')" clout bc it talks over & totally overwrites the foundational issue around hair & toxic femininity that, at its misogynoir core, has always been that textured hair is unprofessional, unkempt, unmanageable, & ugly. Colorism also erases the initial creators of the movement — which were Monoracial Brown & Dark Skinned Black Women; put some respek onnat, period. Straight hair is not oppressed; wavy hair is not oppressed; all hair is not oppressed. Black hair is. This "all hair is good hair" bullshit is so monotonous & inconsiderate bc its almost like a passive aggressive refusal to acknowledge what antiblackness imposed on Black Women alone. None of you non black know what it's like in depth to be the descendants of a race of ppl who's features, traits & harmless existence have always been insulted, hated & envied by the whole world. Esp not all at once. That is something totally unique to us inflicted & imposed by everyone else since the beginning of time. So why be out here chasing clout under tags & movements & in spaces you are no real part of? Why wanna be a part of the Black Girl Experience that bad? Yall have identities in everything outside of us. Why vulture off of this like you even have reasons to be there? We were investing in ourselves & trying to teach generations of Monoracial Black People how to manage their hair texture & develop cathartic habits thru self care. Nb ppl ruined that.

Looser hair textures have omnipresent representation & acceptance all, over, the, world. There is no lack of being seen, romanticized or exemplified for having texture 1a-3b hair; esp on the prevalent basis around colorism we see regularly on social media & on tv. Yet what remains of the community as it stands is today the furthest thing from textured or Black at all. At this point we owe the decline (if not death) of the natural hair community to the parasitic latching of non black women, the infiltration of "pick me's" & antiblackness generally — but I still be feeling like even that's not direct enough. We're talking ab something authentic & wholesome for Monoracial Black Women created by us for us being straight up sabotaged by races of women the cause was totally irrelevant to & in regard of. Bc that's how cosmetic industries have been towards us for centuries. Bc we were always excluded & thought of least & last. By other women. By all other women; don't get it twisted. So we set out on figuring ourselves out. Doing research on our own. Incorporating self care & beneficial habits in our lives to nourish & feel better ab ourselves & disprove the racist shit non black cultures & ppl either ignorantly surmise, make up or project ab Black Girls. That includes Black Men too in case yall thought yall were safe. Yall are some of the most toxic & prevalent faces behind colorism, antiblackness & misogynoir among black ppl specifically.

But anyhow. At first a lot of the initiation of the vulturing in the nhc light skinned women were the face of. Esp w the clout around having 4c hair amongst the beige-est, most ambiguously or straight up non black individuals, good lord. Then it went mainstream for huwight ppl, whom enevitably invited themselves, & following were the masses of non black women looking to pillage for themselves while the community was being swallowed by the crowdedness & irrelevant content being put out there (specifically on YouTube, Twitter & Instagram) by "hair gurus" of the light skinned, biracial or non black texture 1a-3b variety. Hair gurus who literally may as well've fallen from the sky & met social media stardom overnight based on their hair texture & complexion alone they're so brand new. Hair gurus who aren't even in the community for legitimately informative reasons or purposes unionized in Blackness. They're whole natural hair niche be — as a favorite natural of mine put it — manipulating textured hair into a sort of submission to appear or behave like looser textures do. They'll swear by 'game changer' products they both mention & only use like once & insist you should invest in a $30 8oz. bottle of clarifying shampoo or a $35 cowash if you want your hair to behave & look like theirs. Again, mind you, these types of individuals casually claim having texture 4 hair when they're anything but, just for the attention it brings from both ppl who will gullibly follow their every word & who know what kind of scamming to look for & won't.

If it's "just hair", how come so many of you that are non black are riding the wave? If it's just hair, why have so many of you found refuge in using the hashtags & participating/contributing uninvited? How come so many ran to get a seat at the table w Black Women only to kick them to the side the more popular it became if its just hair? How come nobody was calling it natural hair before Black Women created the nhc & started growing their own? Why was there no natural hair community before Black Women coined it, reminder, for ourselves? If it's just hair, how come so many ran to youtube to begin w to start channels for their own non-textured journeys? If its just hair, why is the nhc so damn obsessed w defining curls & length than overall health & gradual growth? If its just hair, why are white girls anywhere near this? Yall are the most out of place of anyone, honestly. Even if you're curly. Why do light skinned girls get to both represent textured hair & "good hair"? How does that even make sense? Thats just putting monoracial black girls in isolated boxes they're not even allowed to be symbols of or in. If its just hair, why's it so unheard of to see the roles of Black female characters in just ab anything played by actual Black Women? If its just hair, why have so many non or partially Black women worked in ignorant succession to water down & essentially wash out the Monoracial Black Women vital to the community's relevance at all? I really do not get the involvement of non black women in this movement at all — esp when culturally you have no reason to call your hair natural. There are no & have never been prejudice notions around having or growing texture 1a-3b hair. There's nothing oppressive ab it, either. Yall have gotta stop w that. You've already made a mockery of something that was supposed to be beautiful by making yourselves comfortable in & hijacking our space itfp. Theres far too much misrepresentation of textured hair to keep up w now. This is why i say the nhc (as well as culture vulturing generally) has just become nbwoc copying white women copying light skinned women copying Black Women, bc the audacity is unreal.

Its not just hair tho. To those it applies to, yall proved that the minute Black Women started going public w their growth journeys. The minute conversations ab "shrinkage this & 4c that" broadened & went mainstream. Yall couldn't move all at once fast enough when you realized you weren't as special as you thought & had always been told — esp w melanin at its modern value. Now all yall either "natural", seeking black men for either casual sex or cultural infiltration via fetishised reproduction, certain you have texture 4 hair or know the best tips for a DIY silk press 🤭😂 yall can't sit w us. You don't belong here. I'm calling yall out on allll the bs around this "All Hair Matters" garbage, cus yall are now sputtering the same shit while literally wearing your own non black hair in black styles. Be consistent. Make some fucking sense. I don't wanna be part of this fake ass girl squad propaganda that says every other woman never looked at Black Women's hair like it was bottomest of the barrel, foh. We're not on the same team & yall know it.

[kilyra]

Hey Kily, I know your fics always get a certain amount of notes (bc they're actually good ofc) do you have an advice for me what to do when you get like no notes at all on a fic bc no one seems to read or like it? Thank you in advance.

First off, thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. And second, this is going to be a bit lengthy, so be prepared!

I think I lucked out early on - right fandom right time (Marvel Netflix gang at a real high point of the shows). And having a fic ready to go when one of the shows released a new season really helped to get noticed. I also wrote for some of the characters that had smaller followings here so I ended up getting the attention of people who were really excited to see content that was kind of hard to come by. Which translated into lovely people who were happy to engage with me so we could geek the heck out together. 

The second thing I noticed is engagement was at its highest when my content output was it its highest. I don’t know what the algorithm are or how it might have added into it, but when I was putting out fics 1-3 times a week, I think I showed up on searches more? Plus, it was obvious how active I was on here, so maybe that was part of it - it’s more fun to interact with someone that’s around?

To be honest, I’m shocked that people are still along for the ride and leaving comments on my stories these days. My content output is next to nil and I can’t even get my crap together enough to finish some of my favourite arcs (Side note, I do intend, but don’t know when, to write more Eric Northman, finish my Helena B arc, and hopefully next week finish my Cobra Kai one too!). So because I haven’t been as on top of this as I was when I first started, I’m especially grateful.

So all that being said, I suspect traffic on your page is the issue - it’s hard to stand out and be noticed sometimes and I hear it’s been a problem across the board right now. But still, I suggest more engagement - post more stories and make sure they’re thoroughly tagged. If not stories, at least posts relevant to your fandoms, and reblogging other writers or content (with a fun comment so you guys can go back and forth) is great too. I have met some wonderful people here and us chatting on each others posts I think helped both of us be noticed by more people. On that same thought, participate in writer events put on by fellow writers here as it might help be seen by a new audience.

Other than those suggestions, my advice is that you write fics for yourself. When I put out the Johnny Lawrence one, I actually logged off a couple days after because I didn’t want to get caught up or disappointed in how much it was or wasn’t getting noticed. I had already started writing the second fic so I didn’t want to be discouraged if it didn’t go over well. I know, it’s not great advice though because yes, we all know we are writing these for ourselves, but being noticed gives us the oomph to do more. At it’s core though, we all have to remember this point. If we aren’t writing these for ourselves, we won’t keep going for long.

It’s hard because you can do all the “right” things and still not make much headway. I know some of my favourite stories went totally under the radar. But hopefully I rambled out something of use here. Sending all my love though, please don’t be discouraged! Have fun, write what you love, and jump into the community to have more fun. Things have a way of coming together 💗

[finelythreadedsky]

would you mind expanding on how gender is about death to the ancient greeks? i don’t really understand what that means, (but im curious to learn!)

Okay so the first thing you need to understand is that sometimes I just say things that make sense in my head and within the specific context of every piece of writing and media I have ever consumed and only those. So not sure how much explaining I can really do, but I think there’s relevant stuff in my tag death and the maiden (which is not just for that trope).

First of all it’s a big persephone mood, because she’s conceptualized both as an archetype of marriage and entry into womanhood and of death (and rebirth). When Louise Gluck said “spring will return, a dream/ based on a falsehood: that the dead return” she’s picking up on the story’s equation of the return of the dead with the return of a girl to her mother from her husband— equally impossible. I’ve talked a little about that connection here.

But I think it comes down to the fact that for the greeks, womanhood was defined as the ability to give birth/create life which is intrinsically wrapped up in death??? I’ve been having some pretty incoherent thoughts about greek perspectives on dualisms and opposites and then ancient ideas of womanhood as related to life but also therefore inherently related to death... cyclical dualisms... not sure how much sense that makes. (and then dualism itself is also gendered female as opposed to male singularity, so the life/death relationship is also inherently female…)

Actually I think it makes some sense in the terms I put it in a while ago to talk about hadestown— women are conceptualized (in hadestown and generally in greek thought) as cyclical and ~natural~ and connected to the cycles of the earth, i.e. to the cycles of life and death. I read an article for my greek paper that talks about the greek opposition of woman-as-nature and man-as-culture/civilization, and I think this is similar. linearity and stability are gendered male, and cyclicality and change are gendered female, which makes sense in terms of what life would have been supposed to look like: a man’s identity and status remain constant throughout his life, but a woman moves through daughter/wife/mother as her identity and function in society, as opposed to how having a wife or children has little bearing on a man’s identity.

And then also the conceptualization of love as death and death as love… there’s a HUGE motif in greek (and roman) literature/art of the conflation of marriage (or sex or love) and death (that’s a lot of the stuff in my death and the maiden tag). (only for women, though, bc obviously love and marriage and sex are for girls.) and I think I’m running with that to the idea of womanhood as a kind of death for a girl. A while ago I phrased it as “marriage is when a girl turns into a woman and death is when a girl turns into a body and those are the same thing” because for the ancient greeks a woman is a body, a body defined by its ability to create life but also not really alive in the way that men are, i.e. a participant in life.

And then also I am literally always thinking about philomela (recently because of how she’s alluded to in the Agamemnon) and the idea of the female voice as essentially a voice of lament, and then there’s the actual role of women in mourning and death rituals. I’ve read some things that talk about mourning and funerals as one of the only means of public expression available to athenian women. and then woman defined as weaver (my jam), weaving defined as shroud-weaving… woman defined as one who laments and remembers the dead…

but also like. think of all of this as said with the voice of someone very stoned, very late at night. “gender... is about death...” yeah sure anything goes

[overclocksaa]

mindwipe: world’s most wanted - present

i keep putting off actually talking about the ins and outs of this because it’s awful and terrible and all kinds of painful, but it’s probably better to just bandaid it and get it done.  i don’t even have to have my standard “forget what the mcu told you” warning for this because disney probably wouldn’t touch this part of it with a ten foot pole (well, technically i guess they kind of did with the whole barf nonsense but only in an oblique way so you can forget the barf nonsense if you want to - it doesn’t apply to 616).

so.  i mention the mindwipe a lot, in my rambling, in tags, in threads, because it’s kind of one of the (newer) foundations upon which tony’s modern characterization is built, at least since the post-civil war era forward.  and to understand why it’s such a huge part of his characterization you have to go back to civil war and move forward.

so in 616, civil war started over a piece of (american) legislation.  the superhuman registration act (you’ll see it basically referred to as shra literally everywhere, including the actual canon bc that’s a mouthful) was - at a passing glance - similar to the sokovia accords (yes, you can throw the sokovia accords in the trash, too), but was in actuality a much more insidious thing.

disclaimer: it’s my personal belief - and the place i approach civil war from - that 1. no one was right on either side of the war.  tony did things that weren’t good, steve did things that weren’t good, they both tore each other down until they ended up in that street with tony begging steve to finish it and kill him, a lot of mistakes were made on both sides.  there’s a reason the universes where things don’t come to a head either have tony and steve off the playing field or working together to fix shra into something they can accept.  and 2. that there was some emotional manipulation of tony on the pro-shra side of things and that miriam sharpe wasn’t on the up and up completely, because there’s a ton of evidence that’s exactly the case though it’s never strictly spelled out; whether it was orchestrated by the government to get the superheroes under their thumb, the skrulls, or by norman osborn is anyone’s guess, but someone was pulling the strings.

don’t touch my tinfoil hat.

okay, so let’s talk about shra.  something like it had been in the works for a very long time, spawning from all kinds of anti-mutant legislation and swelling to encompass all powered people and those of the superhero profession.  the claim was that left as they were, they were dangerous, and stamford was used as the straw that broke the camel’s back to bring it to the forefront.  sidebar:  stamford, connecticut was the site of one of those national tragedies, you know, one of those things that’s going to haunt the entire country forever.  basically, the new warriors - a group of superheroes because there are several groups of superheroes in 616, not just the avengers - were filming a reality show about being superheroes (kind of like a superhero version of cops, i guess, is that reference too old?) and ran into some seriously nasty bad guys hiding out in this little town. one of those was a guy called nitro, who basically can blow up at will.  well, when confronted, what do you think he did?  that’s right, he blew the fuck up.  in front of a school.   casualties were enormous, the avengers themselves spent a lot of time recovering survivors and bodies.  it was awful.

m-day also plays a role here (you know, where wanda was literally like “no more mutants” and like literally almost the entire population of the world’s mutants suddenly weren’t mutants anymore and a whole lot of other things happened and there was house of m and...it’s a long story, you should read the relevant comics for more info if you want), because it’s the real reason shra (or its predecessor) was even relevant at the time of stamford.  not entirely relevant to mindwipe but still good to know.

so basically shra worked like this:  if you were of the superhero type and did things as a superhero, it was required by law you reveal your identity and register with the government.  obviously a lot of superheroes had a real big problem with this (see: peter parker revealed his identity as spider-man and then immediately regretting that decision and going to the other side in the war).  it wasn’t necessarily public knowledge?  but hinky enough people who didn’t need to see it could probably find a way to actually see it. it was dangerous.  it was a bad idea, it’ll never not be a bad idea.   hell, i’m convinced tony knew it was a bad idea even if he was pro-shra simply because as much as he later is like “i did what i did because it was the right thing to do” what it basically translates to is “someone had to be on that side of things to make sure everyone else stayed safe and it might as well have been me”.  

there was also some other terms and stipulations within shra that aren’t exactly relevant to the mindwipe that’ll i’ll talk about another day, but it basically included having to get a license to superhero and undergo training and there was the 50 states initiative and...it was involved.

so flash forward a bit to cap almost killing tony in the street and realizing what he’s doing and letting himself be taken into custody before he can actually go through with it.  at this point tony’s already director of shield and they have a little chat (and by little chat i mean steve is furious with tony) about tony’s mental health and what extremis has done to tony and whether or not this means tony’s won and it’s a mess.  they don’t end that conversation on a good note.  it’s more...”well, you’re a sore loser, captain america.”  “you bet.”

flash forward a teeny bit and steve’s being taken to his arraignment, notices a laser sight on the guard leading him up the steps, jumps in front of it to take the bullet, chaos everywhere, and the next thing you know, steve rogers is dead.  (well, only kinda dead, there’s a princess bride joke in there somewhere but civil war and steve’s death makes me sad and tired and i can’t make it.)

cue tony losing his shit. i don’t mean he gets a little sad.  i mean he locks himself in with steve’s body on the helicarrier and at first talks to it like steve is alive and sitting there and willing to listen before he utterly and completely breaks down and by the end is ugly crying so fucking hard you probably wouldn’t even be able to understand him if you could hear him.  also secondary disclosure:  i’m in the camp that this - the confession - is about as close to a love confession from tony stark to steve rogers you’re ever going to see (and it’s not like...one of those slight of hand things, guys, it’s pretty blatant) and of course it happens while steve is dead because it’s safe to do it, there’s no fear of rejection.  he can do it and try to move on.

spoiler:  tony does not move on.

tony’s supposed to give steve’s eulogy.  he manages to get the podium.  and he manages to try to start.  and then he promptly breaks down and walks away and sam wilson ends up doing it instead (and does it very well, for the record).  also it turns out the body in arlington is a life model decoy, and tony, jan, and (skrull)hank end up having a private funeral for steve where the avengers originally found him in the ice.  tony does a little better, it’s private, it’s people that know him intimately that he doesn’t have to wear a mask for, and he’s able to be genuine.   and they send steve off.  with an ominous bit at the end where jan talks about how they’re all just going to have to move on now, right tony?   tony?  as tony doesn’t hear a word she says because he’s watching steve’s coffin sink into the deep, now under the care of namor the sub-mariner.

things really just go downhill from there.

tony’s dealing with the pressures of being director of shield, running the 50 states initiative, running the mighty avengers (he says carol’s in charge but he micromanages to a ridiculous degree), being turned into a jan clone with a bad haircut by ultron, hints there’s something weird going on in oklahoma (which turns out to be the mandarin), old friends become grudge-carrying villains...tony starts to crack a little.  he has a few literal, actual nervous breakdowns, he’s hardly ever out of the armor, he gets put on psych leave...and he starts having hallucinations.  not just any hallucinations, mind, not that any are fun, but these are directly extremis-related.  ghosts of the dead that tony blames himself for, showing up to deliver information tony’s brain has processed and stored in the guilt center of the brain.  and they’re vivid.  full on full sensory experience, from being able to smell sal kennedy’s blood to feeling steve start to crush his windpipe.

he gets a letter from steve from the lawyer handling his estate telling him not to let the dream die - that even that far in steve still trusted tony like that above anyone else - and tony tries to do that.  first, he hands clint barton the shield, because clint was part of steve’s first team after the ice, but that’s a bust and clint tells tony that he might has well have pulled the trigger on steve himself later.  then along comes bucky barnes deciding the only thing he can do for steve is kill tony stark, and instead ends up the new captain america after tony talks him down and shows him the letter steve left him.

people worry.  tony pushes on.

and then the skrull invasion happens, norman osborn (you might know him as the villain known as the green goblin) sets himself up as a hero, and gets put in charge of shield, while tony is unceremoniously fired.   well, he and maria hill.  tony knows osborn’s gonna come after him once he realizes that tony’s duped him on the shra database - tony set up a decoy to take care of that leaving one copy in existence as soon as osborn tries to access it:  tony himself.  so there’s only one thing to do, right.  get rid of that last existing copy.

when maria hill tells you you’re crazy for wanting to wipe your brain considering how tony and maria grate like sandpaper against each other...maybe...it’s not a good idea.  not that it being a bad idea stops tony whatsoever.  he starts a slow delete of his brain, using the suits as tools to help that along as he runs from place to place to stay ahead of osborn.  to maria, he entrusts a job of retrieving a harddrive from the old futurepharm building (hey that sounds familiar right guys) in oklahoma, where she almost ends up a battery for the controller (an old school iron man villain) until she gets free and beelines straight for black widow for help.  pepper he leaves to putting down stark industries and a suit of her own, rescue.

lots of shit happens as tony’s brain slowly deletes itself, the details of which aren’t important, but that ends with osborn catching up to tony in afghanistan after his mind’s mostly gone and with osborn bashing tony’s brains in on live tv for the whole world to see.  While wearing a red, white, and blue set of armor bc osborn is dumb and thought trying to mush together iron man and captain america into one symbol was a great idea.  it’s also built from tony’s own tech but kind of...a shoddy copy, because repulsor technology is not a thing tony left behind for osborn to get his hands on.

the result of this, and the brain deletion, is that tony ends up in a persistent vegetative state with massive amounts of brain damage.  he’s on life support.  osborn tries to pull the plug, but let’s be real, even a tony breaking down is smarter than norman osborn, and he’s left that in the hands of donald blake.  yes.  that donald blake.  thor donald blake.

so what happens, right, we’re finally at the meat of this where tony’s deleted his entire brain and everything that is tony stark is gone.   this should, theoretically, be the end, right? well, tony had a plan in case it was, but...never count tony stark out just because things look bleak.  a bunch of people start coming together:  donald/thor, steve (who’s back from the dead by the way, tony isn’t aware of of it bc he’s been on the run), bucky (who’s the current captain america at the time), rhodey, maria, dr. lisk.  it turns out pepper’s suit has a recording for them, and it’s tony, from before all of this really got rolling on his last day as director shield explaining what’s happening and how to handle it, and you can read those pages here, if you want.

after that recording there’s instructions on how to basically boot tony from disk.  pepper’s rt is transferred from her to tony, while her suit is stripped down because the wiring is needed.  the harddrive maria got, labeled x, has connectors that only fit old extremis ports in tony, and that has to be connected.  they need captain america’s shield because it’s a vibranium alloy, and they need thor/thor’s lightning to turn the rt on. that’s supposed to be it.  that’s supposed to get tony upright and walking and talking again.

spoiler:  it doesn’t work.

steve leaves, and goes to fetch stephen strange to see if a...different kind of treatment will help, and this basically ends with a trip inside of tony’s head, where he’s reliving the same scenario over and over again with the fragments of his memories that are left, refusing to basically wake up.  stephen cajoles him, gets him moving in the right direction, gets tony motivated to confront what’s keeping him inside his own head (which is full of symbolism, he keeps finding teeth with...personally that makes sense, dreaming of teeth is supposed to be a sign of stress and boy if there was ever someone that probably has a lot of teeth dreams...).  he wakes up, kicks ghost’s ass while rhodey and stephen both are down and out because things have gone badly on the real world end, and promptly asks, “what the hell happened to you guys?”

the next time steve shows up to the hotel they’ve basically taken over, now that tony’s up and moving, he asks dr. lisk how tony is and dr. lisk does that thing any normal person would do when having some bad news to deliver to captain america and not wanting to be the one to do it:  he squirms and waffles and gets steve Concerned and Irritated until he finally asks if anyone knows how long ago tony made that backup because there are things tony should know that he doesn’t.  that he’s missing time - a lot of it.

so here we are.  it’s taken us a long time to get here for what’s probably going to seem anticlimactic but bear with me a little longer.  so what does lisk mean by this, right, what does he mean tony’s missing time?  well, tony remembers up through forming the new avengers with steve.  he remembers getting extremis, a little bit after that.  and then...nothing.  not a single damn thing until he wakes up in a school basement.  a lot of people see it as a cop out.  a refusal to accept the consequences of his actions during civil war, but that’s stupid, because tony never, ever denies any of it even if he can’t remember.  he never complains about how he’s treated because of it.  hell, he never really asks any questions.  he has eyes.  he can read.  he can watch old news reports.  he knows exactly what happened even if it’s not firsthand anymore. and he definitely thinks he deserves it, i’m sure.  literally no one is going to blame tony harder than tony blames himself, and that’s a fucking fact. if you don’t think tony doesn’t blame himself entirely for what happened to steve you don’t really know tony stark at all.  he might not remember exactly what he did and why he did it, but he knows how to read himself and he’s really good at extrapolating data.

so why is tony forgetting all of civil war significant, right, it’s just a year, maybe he didn’t make any more backups after civil war got rolling.  see...you’d think that sounds reasonable, right, but...it negates a huge part of tony’s tonyness, which is that he is meticulous about his data.  super meticulous.  his suits record everything. he has terrabytes and terrabytes of stuff from all kinds of things, and if you don’t think he wouldn’t want to keep every bit of everything that’s in his head, you’d be wrong.  if you don’t think his backups weren’t especially meticulous you’d be wrong.  if you don’t think he didn’t know exactly what drive he told maria to get, out of what are probably multiple drives containing tony’s brain backups, you’d be wrong.  tony’s not careless and he’s not sloppy.  if he picked drive x it’s because drive x was made not long after he got extremis and he knew exactly what he was doing when he picked it. he knew exactly what that would mean for his memories of the war, and of steve’s death, and all the things that came after it.  it was on purpose.  not as a cop out.  tony takes it all, everything everyone gives him over civil war and the skrull invasion, and for a long, long time after the mindwipe tony is very small, he’s very broken, and he’s very submissive in a lot of ways that all signal tony thinking he deserves every bit of what’s happening to him, and only recently, years later, is he starting to come around from it.  

everything - everything - centers around steve’s death.  tony doesn’t predict the future, that’s not exactly the truth of what his brain does, but he can see possible paths and follow them to conclusion.  the idea that he already started putting this particular plan in motion when the buried steve in the ice isn’t farfetched and it’s not unbelievable.  he can see things coming down the pipeline a mile away, and this was probably one of those things.  and he had his contingency in place by the time he needed it.

but see...the funny thing about things like mindwipes, right.  is that it’s not a precise thing.  shit happens to you, your brain wrinkles a certain way.  tony can erase that year, but with it he lost a lot of little things.  how to tie a tie, for instance.  and conversely, once your brain is wrinkled, it’s wrinkled.  it’s there, in your grey matter.  so while secret empire overall is trash, it did raise a very interesting scenario, and that scenario is that tony’s ai - the ai he built from a scan of his brain - does remember the war.  there’s no reason for his ai to remember if it’s not actually still somewhere in tony’s head, right, which makes sense.  the wrinkles the events caused are still there, and tony is not dumb.  he doesn’t half ass anything, so i guarantee you he has an idea of how the human brain works and records thing.  he’d know he’d never fully get rid of those memories.  they’re still there, tony’s ai is proof.  he just...can’t access them.   something to think about.

anyway, here’s a ridiculous long explanation of the mindwipe and why it’s important, because tony not remembering civil war and steve’s death impacts everything from the moment he wakes up going forward.  it means there’s no closure because he can’t talk about it, he can’t say for sure when, where, who, why, or how, he can only guess.  and he avoids guessing.   thanks for coming, have a great day.

[kyrrahbird]

Ky’s 琅琊榜 Nirvana in Fire/Lang Ya Bang liveblog experience

EPISODE 3

OKAY EP 3 THE ONE YOU REALLY NEED TO STICK IT OUT TO

if u havent watched this show *please do*!! And maybe dont read this liveblog lmaoo

i forget entirely how much goes into each ep. but anyways to get this show on the road: this one starts with the child being beaten :( ...

Education in your serf class is bad obviously

I admire the gall of the eunuch to say “Prince Jing cant help you now” when Prince Jing is Right There

poetic justice

this is ALSO

dun dun

the first meeting of the DREAM TEAM 

!!

(Jingyan, Mei Changsu and Nihuang)

OOOH BOY THE UNDERCURRENTS

MCS goes straight to comforting the slave boy and i just feel,,, its sincere but there are,,, SO MANY layers of machinations going on here

like its manipulation of Every Person in this scene and i both hate and admire that cold blooded calculation

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE’S MEETING JINGYAN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TWELVE YEARS ;A;

Just an update: this man is still Dead Inside™. And so distrustful i die too

Quick aside to the terrible princes:

I would also like to note, and its been said before but

Prince Yu is NOT SUBTLE in his aspirations. if i had to say who was the crown prince i might be confused??

and back-

Nihuang and MCS just pulled a mean pincer maneuver on Jingyan and hes being equally pointy back. Stop being mean to my prince :(((

i do wonder if nihuang is clued in, bc if she is, she puts a hell of a lot of trust in mcs. or maybe its all just subconscious, and they’re falling back into their old dynamic 

this scene KILLS ME

bc Prince Jing is trying so hard to protect tingsheng but he really has such limited power and he knows it

(i should read the book)

The first time i watched i did not realise HOW YOUNG mu qing is supposed to be. i love a protective younger bro ;;n;;

I also appreciate the flashbacks to relevant information. just so we know whats important to mcs

MENG DA-GE

-just saved that dude’s ass

Fei Liu was ready to wreck him

This didnt need to be so ominous but i appreciate their dedication to the Melodrama™

EVEN THE TALKING WHILE NOT LOOKING AT EACH OTHER

Nothing sus going on here. look they’re even facing different directions

MENG DA-GE LITERALLY SAID MOVE INTO MY HOUSE

bless

He’s worried!!! His mother hen tendencies are coming out!!

No he doesnt. No thoughts, only protecc

like a puppy

I also love the fact that despite all her fancy headdresses and pretty outfits, we never forget Nihuang is a martial general. Its the way she holds herself and moves i think

“This person is a mystery” > cut to sir su napping in a chair

Theres definitely comedy here. quite a lot of it!!! and i adore it

Never fear, Meng da-ge is here to join the “Force Mei Changsu to look after himself” gang

Side note - I kind of take it for granted as the kind of person Meng da-ge is, but i do think its symptomatic of the empire that one guy can just rock up and basically suborn the entire royal guard. like. your majesty. u done fucked.

70,000 is a staggering number of your own people to kill in one go. Like. I can’t actually wrap my head around it.

And all those people would have had families and friends and sure, they’re mostly just common but. most likely a bunch of the prominent families were killed too. im just wondering if there were like. riots? Or everyone just kept their head down and were like “guess it must be treachery”  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Consort Yue is so goddamn transparent in her manipulation but also like - there’s layers there

Because I feel like the emperor sees through the first layer (having an interest in who Nihuang marries) but is completely incapable of seeing beyond that

Or he doesnt want to. I mean the man does encourage competition in his court

Anyways we find out that he’s going to choose Sir Su to judge the written part of the challenge

This is great because it means Su-xiansheng is going to COURT :D

why do i keep changing how i refer to him? its whatever fits the vibe baby

Man’s got too many names anyways

gotta keep them in rotation

Oh we just found out Baili Qi might be top of the Langya list. good to know the system isnt infallible

I love everyones reactions like

what

the fuck

SOMEBODY FIX THIS

LMAO

Yujin is here to drop Jingrui’s badass backstory

And why he has the name and surname of a prince

I do wonder what its like, for jingrui. Like sure, hes son of two families... but heir of neither? He’s the oldest child but hes also known his whole life that he wont inherit the title. 

idk must be weird

hes incredibly good natured given all that shit

Lin Shu gege just humouring them by listening to a story that hes totally never head before /s

if only they had a dna test

Who’s My Daddy™ ancient fantasy china

ghufdghuisrgu Mu Qing u cant just SAY that

Update: Mu Qing has kidnapped sir Su

OMG

HES ENTERING THE ROYAL COURT

I REPEAT LIN SHU/MEI CHANGSU IS ENTERING THE COURT

i need to just-

the fkn music man

i die

Like i said the first time, i didnt know the full scope of the big deal but i KNEW. that this was it

These were the stakes. All the way up to the emperor

theres gon be some PARALLELS

“You no longer need to refer to yourself as a commoner”

oof

(i would like to say now that i love Liyang

like, A Lot

Second only to Nihuang)

LMAO mcs giving the crown prince a subtle head shake

His POWER

This ep ends on Baili Qi beating the absolute fuck out of Jingrui while Su-xiansheng just peels and eats an orange smirks like the absolute shit he is

like a beyblade

I’m going to stop putting links in these bc i know tumblr doesnt like them, but ill keep up the tagging. I might not get to one ep a day, but every couple of days or so seems doable! i just love dumping my train of thoughts into walls of text :D

TTFN

[ao3feed-komahina]

by That_Gay_Shit_jpeg

the irony in the title is not lost on me thanks.

These are gonna be a series of drabbles in no particular order of Kaede and Maki and their adventures and experiences living together :)

They're cute and I love them sm. this is also My first time writing for this fandom so the charachters might be a little ooc, sorry.

I'll try to progress the drabbles so they get like more intimate/significant as they progress, but again, no real order to them. Except the first two chapters. deff read those first as they're introductory.

I have a list of prompts i'm filling out for them kind of but if i ever run out i might let some of yall request something since i know the newcomers to this fandom are content starved as hell.

Words: 1304, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi

Characters: Akamatsu Kaede, Harukawa Maki, Amami Rantaro, Iruma Miu, Mioda Ibuki, Koizumi Mahiru, Saionji Hiyoko, Nanami Chiaki, Sonia Nevermind, Hinata Hajime, Kamukura Izuru, Komaeda Nagito, Oowada Mondo, Hanamura Teruteru, Shirogane Tsumugi

Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Harukawa Maki, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito/Nanami Chiaki, Chiaki Nanami/Sonia Nevermind, Minor or Background Relationship(s), pretty much all of them are minor or background relationships, except Kaede and Maki, this is a kaemaki fic, Harukawa Maki & Kamakura Izuru, Amami Rantaro & Harukawa Maki, Harukawa Maki & Owada Mondo, Akamatsu Kaede & Koizumi Mahiru, Akamatsu Kaede & Nanami Chiaki, Akamatsu Kaede & Mioda Ibuki, Akamatsu Kaede & Iruma Miu

Additional Tags: Akamatsu Kaede-centric, Harukawa Maki-centric, Kaemaki roomates au, And they were roomates!, oh my god they were rommates, pretty much all of the charachters are minor or background charachters, some might not even get mentioned idk i'm still fleshing this out, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lesbians smh, Useless Lesbians, Kaede is bisexual actualy, wlw, wuluwuh, Maki is a lesbian, Le$bean?, LeDollaBean, Bisexuality, Kaede plays piano at a bar bc ofc she does, Mahiru owns the bar because fuck you I do what I want, Kaede's work uniform includes a bowtie, Kaede doesn't know how to tie a bowtie, Maki knows how to tie a bowtie, lesbianism ensues, oneshots, Gay, Gay as hell, Love, two girls, just two girls in l, they are two girls in love, they live together, Roommates, its a roommates au, Falling In Love, why are all the recomended tags from fuckign supernatural, I feel like I'm missing something, How Do I Tag, Angst, Menstruation, yes because I'm afab and it hurts so I'm going 2 vent about it, Trans Hinata Hajime, Trans Izuru Kamakura, because fuck you a second time, Maki and Izuru is an underrated friendship concept i think, wow this has a lot of tags, maybe if i just keep typing them I'll come up with some that are actually relevant, Maki litteraly needs someone to tell her she is whiped, like this girl is down so bad, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kaede plays the piano for her <3, So back to that angst tag, panic attakcs, :), Kaede is on antidepressants because fuck you again for like a third time, also she wears contacts, Kaede is the Messy Roomate™, Izuru and Hajime are twins but their last names are different because they grew up in seperate homes, if you were wondering, also the komahinanami thing and the sonianami thing are both cannon at the same time, shshshs let chiaki love three people, even if it's just in the background, idk might fuck around and give chiaki her own chapter trying to flirt with sonia, no update schedule, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), I hc chiaki mumbles all star lyrics as an idle stim, deff not bc i do that, AHAHAHA, cries in adhd, this is my current hyper fixation lol, god how many tags do i rlly need, ffs, okay but did I cover all the relevant ones???, Living Together, Spoilers, maybe?? - Freeform, idk man, i mean maki's talent might get spoiled idk, if you're here tho you've probably already gotten to that point, I say as I havent even gotten passed v3's first trial, okay I think that's all, I'm lazy, Coming Out, also also not to project or anything but, she is deff the type of bitch with 5357928479752 cups in her room, V3 is so emotionally draining, if i hear one more upsetting spoiler i think i will begin aging rapidly, I would put this tag ->, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, except I probably /wont/ do that