#< there I'm tagging it so you can block it if you like

[parfaitblogs]

making the bed ❀ s. reid x reader

in which your night crumbles around you, and spencer is happy to pick up the pieces. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: hurt/comfort  tags: established relationship. (prior) alcohol consumption. reader is semi-drunk (but sobers up). post drinking depression. healthy alcohol information/discussion 🫡 word count: 2.1k a/n: do not read too much into this for you will begin to question why i still enjoy going clubbing. (joke...) 😄 plsss tell me if u liked this or even if u didnt thank u i love uuuuuu

Alcohol is a depressant. 

You remembered the God awful lecture your boyfriend had given you when you woke up one Sunday morning with this feeling of existential dread, and nothing to pin it to. A ramble about how alcohol can temporarily increase the body's production of dopamine and serotonin when entering, causing a worse crash of both chemicals when it leaves. Leaving you, evidently, depressed and anxious after a big night. 

You knew that. 

You also knew how quick you were to seclude within your mind when you were with people. Too many drinks and not enough social interaction tended to lead to your own isolation, sitting on the outer edge of the booth, absentmindedly playing with the charm on the end of your phone. 

The room no longer spun the way it had an hour ago. You missed when it spun. When it spun, you weren't thinking about how little you had to contribute to the conversations your friends were having. You weren't tallying up how many drinks you had already drank, then falling flat when you realised you couldn't remember, and that was a thought more horrifying than knowing it was over ten. You were fun, when the room was a carousel. 

Now, it's simply overwhelming. Loud chattering from both your table, and the surrounding ones. Clinking of glasses at the bar. A sports game on the television across the room. Balls on a pool table being dispersed for the first time in a game. Dancing feet. Music. People. So many fucking people.

Your phone buzzes against the table, and you pick it up before any of your friends could turn their heads to see where the vibrations were coming from. You figured they were too drunk to conclude it was you, anyways. Or to care. 

Spencer had texted you fifteen minutes ago to check in on you, and though it wasn't long ago, you not responding immediately in a flurry of half strung together sentences and emojis was worrying for him. That was probably why his name was now lighting up your screen, a funny photo of him mid-bite of an ice cream as his contact photo, enlarged. 

You hadn't responded for no reason other than the fact that you had no will to. Which should've been a big enough red flag to yourself that you should text him, and you should ask if he can pick you up. Thankfully, he loved to prove how well he could read you, and he was calling you anyways. 

"Hi," you mumble into the phone, angling your body away from your friends, hand held up to your other ear to block out some of the noise the best you could. 

"Hi," he parrots back to you. "You okay?"

An automatic yes manifests on your tongue, but you're quick enough to keep it to yourself before you can lie to him. Instead, you let out a quiet, "No."

He seems to have expected that answer, for he leaves no silence in between your admission and his response. "What can I do to help?" He also seems to be expecting your hesitance at asking him for anything that would require him to move, because he adds, "I can pick you up. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Yes. Please?"

"I'm already leaving," he tells you, and you can hear his shoes against the wooden floor of his apartment to confirm that. "Did something happen? Are you safe?"

"No, nothing happened. I'm safe," you reassure him. "I started feeling sick so I stopped drinking an hour ago. Now I'm just sad."

"You remember what I told you about it being a depressant?"

"Vividly," you mutter, and while it isn't meant to be funny, you hear him huff a short laugh anyways. It makes you feel a little better. 

"It's important to know," he defends. "I'm sorry I shared important information with you."

"Mm."

Your lack of a verbal response was expected, but he still hated the sound of it regardless. You heard him sigh. "I have to hang up now. I'll be there in forty minutes. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too."

No matter how much time had passed, your head lifted every time the door — that your group was so conveniently close to — opened, letting in a rush of cool air and sobering you up with every hit of it. 

True to his word, Spencer was entering the bar after forty minutes, face scrunching up at the sudden onslaught of noises and visual stimuli. Same boat as you, only he had not a drop of alcohol in his body. At least you weren't crazy about it being overstimulating. 

"This is why I don't go to bars," he says once he's approached your booth, and you had stood up next to you, his hand finding an automatic place on your waist. 

"It's usually not this bad," you tell him, but he decides not to ask you anything else upon hearing just how exhausted your voice sounds. You're grateful for that.

The goodbye to your friends is quick, Spencer rattling off a lie about him needing you home for he had work early the next morning, and you only had one key to the apartment. Even the friends who knew that wasn't the case didn't comment on it, and you made a pointless mental note to thank them for it later. You knew you wouldn't. 

The drive home was even faster. Silence, aside from the rush of the wind from your slightly cracked window as Spencer drove, that helped the sick feeling in your stomach from the alcohol you had consumed. 

It didn't seem to help the hollowness of your chest, though.

You weren't sure if anything would, really. A chemical imbalance in your brain — even one as temporary as the deflation from being drunk — was hard to fix without medication. It would go away, yes. But then you would make the mistake of drinking once more, and you would find yourself back in this brain peeling predicament. 

You showered alone. Despite Spencer's offer to join you, and your own personal desire for him to be there with you. It didn't help your fogged mind at all, and you were exiting the bathroom feeling like you had retreated further into your bones. Every movement felt clunky, your skin a heavy coat to your skeleton, restricting your movement down to short shuffles and barely lifted arm movements. 

He was reading when you reentered your bedroom, and you've never seen him put a book and his glasses back on his bedside table faster. He looked visibly tired. Keeping himself awake a seemingly difficult struggle, that you could feel your body heading towards to as well. 

"Hey," he says as you climb into the bed, and he's very patient as you figure out what position you want your bodies in. Head on his chest, but next to him, you had decided on, and his fingers entangled into your hair.

"Hi," you mumble, staring up at the ceiling, counting brush strokes of the paint, as if it were possible to.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You huff at the phrase, tilting your head upwards so your eyes could land on him. "Do you have a penny?"

He pauses, then angles his head closer towards yours. "Okay, kiss for your thoughts?"

"That'll just distract me."

"Is that what you want?"

You should say no. Arguably the last thing you should be doing when you're sad is let intimacy with your boyfriend distract you. But then again, you're not the best advocate for healthy coping mechanisms anyways. 

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" he muses, and his lips brush against yours. Your heart flutters. 

"I don't really know what I want," you settle on telling him, honestly. "I want my brain to shut up."

His body deflates beneath you, and you feel guilt chip away up your spine at the killing of the less depressing atmosphere. 

"Sorry," you mumble.

"No. It's good. Be honest with me," he reassures you, quietly. His fingers tap at your scalp, "What's going on up here?"

"I'll cry if I try to verbalise it."

"Crying's good for you, you know," he hums.

"I'm pretty sure I still have eyeliner in my waterline. I'll just stain your sheets," you retort. 

"Yeah, probably. That's fine."

You're silent for a few moments, gathering your thoughts in your brain the best you could despite yourself, before you sit up, his hand dropping to the bed beside you.

"I just don't like being... here? Out? I don't know. I'm just really sick of being sad every time I drink. Is there something wrong with me? Did you get sad whenever you drank? Everyone else I know loves going out for drinks because they have fun and they're giggly drunks, or they're clingy drunks. And if I drink too much then I'm a fucking sad drunk, and I'm the only person I know that gets that way. I want to be normal."

He's silent your entire rant, and then some, waiting for your heaving chest to slow, having caught the few tears that slipped down your cheeks. You were grateful — you needed that time.

He reaches a hand out, and you let him tug you back down to the bed, slotting your body atop his own, just so he could see you properly. 

"To answer your question, no, I didn't get sad when I drank," he says, brushing your hair out of your face, before his hands rest on either side of your face. "But I wasn't really happy, either. I just talked more."

"You already talk a lot."

His lips twitch. "I do. Double whatever you think my worst is, and that was me drunk. Focus on the part where I said I wasn't a happy drunk, please."

"But you weren't sad. So there is something wrong with me."

"No, there's not. Alcohol is a depressant," he punctuates his words with a kiss to your nose, which you gratefully accept despite your emotions. "Are you willing to give up alcohol as a whole?" 

"My friends will think I'm boring, then."

He hesitates in his response, but ultimately settles on asking, "Do you think I'm boring because I don't drink?"

"No. Obviously not. And you have a real reason for not drinking, so—"

"—and being sad isn't a real reason to not drink?"

Taken aback by his sudden sternness, you go quiet, breath hitching within your throat. He was right, ultimately. No reason is reason enough. You knew that. 

Sensing your discomfort at his tone, he expels a breath of air and lowers his hands down to your hips. His voice drops to something a little less harsh, as he murmurs, "You are allowed to not want to drink alcohol if you don't like the way it makes you feel. If your friends think you're boring for that, then they're not worth it."

You silently nod your head, beginning to curse your emotional regulators. For while you had kept your tears at bay for the vast majority of this conversation, it seemed all it took was the gentle rubbing of circles onto your hip bones, and a fact checked piece of life advice from your boyfriend to make you cry. 

"Sorry," you sniffle, dropping your head to the crook of his neck to hide your newly tear stricken face. 

"Crying's good for you," he repeats his earlier words, and feels you nod your head. "You don't have to decide tonight. I'd encourage you not to, actually. You're technically still intoxicated."

"I'm sober," you protest, weakly. 

"Okay, honey." He's only agreeing with you to wane any further argument. "I don't think your friends will think you're boring, though, if that's any help."

"I don't think they will either."

He nods his head, and you're relaxing against him a little more. 

"Are you just trying to not be the only loser who doesn't drink?" you mumble, voice muffled by his skin.

"You've caught me."

He relishes in the laugh that leaves your lips, and he places the gentlest of kisses on the side of your head, which prompts you to lift it to look at him again. 

"You're not a loser for not drinking," you say, and his lips pull into a smile. 

He leans his head up, brushing his lips against yours, despite the mix of mint toothpaste and alcohol on your tongue. "I know. You wouldn't be either."

"I know."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[rejaytionships]

cannot believe i gotta say this but please don't follow me if you're comfortable selfshipping with canon racists. i don't care if you headcanon them as otherwise, because if their racism against a real group of people is a key facet of their character (much less incredibly important to the telling of the story that this character is a racist) then i do not wanna see it. this is not the safe space for you

[irrealisms]

wanted to respond to some tags-

@fitmc #fitmc invebtory is something so special to me#compare to in the QSMP where he is as disorganized as a clam#there are still weapons but there's less. there's also building blocks. and sticks#mcyt

that's SO neat!!! exactly the sort of inventory ~analysis i was thinking of here :D i wonder if there's similar stuff (less, uh, extreme) to see in comparison between life series and hermitcraft? but also i'm just struck by the understated storytelling there. he feels safe enough to be disorganized... ;u;

@kamipyrifolia #lifesteal inventories are so. why do you have 20 pots and not a single ender chest/shulker#like i get it but i also don’t get it#mcyt

okay so this is on me-- i took the screenshot when the ender chest was placed down, the single empty slot is where the ender chest usually goes. the idea is that you carry One ender chest, so that when you put it down you have an inventory slot with which to shuffle shulkers around; here's a screenshots of zam's inventory with the ender chest (different season but it's the same idea)

@verbummallum #is the tubbo one from the pogtopia arc because that is just so manberg tubbo#no tools just weapons because he wasnt doing anything that needed tools but he was constantly ready to defend himself#glass bottle that schlatt probably dropped and he picked up#baked potatoes for food because ctechno farmed potatoes for 14 hours straight#the water bucket being in the middle of his hotbar is very funny though why is it There

nope! the tubbo one is from doomsday :D the water bucket is interesting though; i bet it's on a specific part of his hotbar bc that's where he usually keeps it and therefore where his muscle memory for MLGs is, and this alerts me to "do they keep a water bucket in their hotbar for MLGs" as smth that also says something abt a person!

@darksqsmp #i think how characters interact with their inventories can be very interesting too!#like on the qsmp my friends and i jokes sometimes about how watching phil during lore is like#*reorganizes inventory* *looks in his backpacks* *reorganizes inventory* bc he was constantly interacting with it!#meanwhile most other povs. especially during lore. tended to ignore it entirely!#(and phils reogranizing ended up being very interest bc during the ek arc he would notice when admins/ 'the ender king'#would shuffle things around or add stuff and he/we would notice it very quickly! but it was different and that says something i think)

i don't have much to say about this one but this is really really neat to hear about and i wanted to highlight it!!! you're right that is very interesting!

also this is a reblog and not tags but @syn4k added some other inventories in a reblog; check those out!!!

everyone in mcyt fandom talks about bad inventories but i feel like we don't talk enough about the different types of bad inventory & the ways that inventories can be characterizing. i took most of these screenshots but one or two of them aren't by me and i've just had them saved for a few months sorry. i'm taking inventories from various people across various servers (wild life, dream smp, hermitcraft, lifesteal, and 2b2t) to illustrate my point here

like there are inventories that are bad because they're empty:

but then there's also inventories that are bad because they're full:

and, like-- the different ways an inventory can be bad are also characterizing? an inventory can be bad because the items aren't stacked; or because it's empty of anything useful; or because it's so full of building/fight supplies that there's no slots left for doing anything else; or because it's full of random junk. it speaks to a character's position (compare tubbo's diamond sword and empty inventory to ranboo's netherite sword or zam's full inventory of potions) and the rules of the server they're on (tubbo's not wearing elytra because elytra aren't allowed on the dsmp; zam's inventory has chorus fruit and wind charges but no ender pearls because ender pearls aren't allowed this season on lifesteal) and what their priorities are (building, pvp, lore) and how organized vs scattered they are and so much more. another inventory i like:

like!!! that's so instantly characterizing, for both the character and the server!!!! 5 stacks of end crystals + obsidian. 6 stacks of tnt. 3 stacks of god apples and a stack of chorus fruit as your only food. the bucket of lava and bucket of water for lavacasting. the fact that the flint and steel is enchanted with unbreaking. that's a STORY--of the character but also of the server! this is not the sort of inventory you have on most servers! it's so focused around griefing--explosions, lavacasts--and pvp, and the stacks of god apples as primary food source are an instant warning sign for widespread duping. the chorus fruit not for fights--ender pearls are strictly better, and he's got some so he clearly has access to them--which means it's for escaping traps, which means that's a live concern. it's got a lot of pvp supplies but it's so wildly different from the lifesteal inventory in ways that speak to the differences in server rules and cultures. like, horrendous inventory in many ways. also, very good inventory in some ways. also also, delightful inventory! fascinating inventory!!! inventories are such a delightful source of instant characterization i love them so so much

[ducksbuttocks]

oh i just read some new tags (from the few people i hadn't blocked yet) under the let buck fuck interview and literally from the bottom of my heart i wanna say i hate you people so much and you're all so fucking stupid. character who canonically likes casual sex can sleep around all he wants bc he's our poor little meow meow but as soon as he comes out as bisexual he's not allowed to anymore :) bc it looks bad :) and that's your woke progressive take. you're reinventing the hays code as we speak and patting yourself on the back bc of it you're literally soooo fucking dumb it's insane. "it was inevitable, what did you expect from a straight actor playing a queer character" did he personally tell you that? are you in his head? do you want all queer artists to go around wearing a pink triangle next so you can feel more comfortable? all the while btw your precious fave is saying things like "yeah it obviously hurts when your bisexual partner has functioning eyes and uses them to look at someone who isn't you". and to be absolutely clear this isn't about ship wars bc i'm not 15 anymore this is about you people repackaging conservative takes in nice buzzwords and calling it activism and using it to harass someone bc of it. literally grow up and grow a fucking brain. imagine how tired i am of reading biphobic rants written by actual bisexual people too

[agoldenblackbird]

i'm gonna be a ranty bitch for a minute.

tbh i'm turned off even reading new buddie fic despite being a multishipper and have unfollowed a bunch of buddie accounts because i'm sick of the smug attitudes. one ask that i am otherwise not going to publish or respond to ended with 'sorry you don't understand media literacy bestie :)' fuck off. listen INFANT, i have been writing fanfic and original fic AND watching, reading and analyzing queer media since before you were born, i understand how character and story development works, and i know the difference between 'storyline i personally disliked' and 'bad writing.' this was BOTH, and it also was marketed to us as 'carefully crafted bi rep' and 'queer love story that is not about a bunch of pain and conflict FOR ONCE' so we have every right to be upset at the bait-and-switch.

the fact that i'm seeing the same exact posts - 'bt bones buddie CANON' that i saw three seasons ago after the bucktaylor breakup, or every time they thought buck and taylor MIGHT break up - says something. the fact that so many fans seem genuinely convinced (STILL!) that buddie is inevitable because there have been so many 'signs,' and then they rattle off a convoluted theory that would make the most hardcore taylor swift stan say 'wow, that's a bit of a reach,' honestly weirded me out a little when i first joined the 911 fandom. i have never been in a fandom where so many fans are insistent that their ship will be - not might be or could be, but WILL be - canon. i am skeptical both from past experience with other shows mishandling queer storylines or ship-baiting, and tim minnear's proven track record with this one of not really knowing what to do with buck's LI's. but i didn't want to yuck anybody's yum, so i let them have their theories and squee in peace, and unfollowed or blocked certain tags if i was seeing too much of it and getting annoyed. it's too out there for me, but i'm glad they're having fun!

yet they can't give us the same courtesy. they deride us as delusional for thinking that a canon pairing that was presented to us both in promo and the show itself as different and important (eg the bobby approval convo and 'buck getting off the hamster wheel') might last, and we're stupid to have ever liked tommy or lou or be disappointed at how the breakup was written, and if we point out the biphobia it's just sour grapes.

the bucktommy breakup is not the first time 911 has started out strong with an interesting storyline and fumbled it in the 4th quarter either because the writers got bored or in the name of needless drama/a 'gotcha' sudden twist. amir & bobby, eddie's fight club arc, the sperm donor SL, hen vs councilwoman ortiz, whatever the hell is going on with harry, the whole mess with shannon/kim, just to name a few. and especially the past couple of seasons, for me since 6b, the pacing has been off. they seem to have too much happening at once and many of the storylines don't have enough room to breathe to be narratively satisfying, or they get resolved in ways that feel lackluster.

if the toxic buddie stans who have been attacking lou on sm and sending death threats (wtf!) actually get what they want, which i admit is possible, but it's certainly not guaranteed….i don't know why they think the writers won't fumble that just as badly. it's not going to happen precisely the way they want it to because it is impossible to please everybody, that's what fanfic is for. but at this point i have zero faith that it would even be well done at all, and zero trust in the writers not to just sabotage or regress a character for funsies, and that's an excellent reason to stop watching the show. in most of my other fandoms i regard canon as a jumping-off point or a blurry outline at best, and i can have just as much fun in the 911 sandbox without any further input from canon at all, once i'm less angry.

[vigilskeep]

hii i just started playing veilguard so i wanted to ask what you think of the fact that it's not open world! sorry if you said this already, i've had all the tags blocked so i don't get spoilered, but now that i'm playing im curious. i actually really like the way it's done (at least so far from what i've seen). inquisition open world was too much to me while da2 was a liiiitle too railroaded. it reminds me of origins maps in the best way

my response was thank god lmao

open world is too much for me i get very lost and distressed 😭 even veilguard city maps get me turned around, i have phoned it in with them completely and just follow the quest objectives. six playthroughs in i’ll finally know my way around treviso i promise

but aside from my personal directional incapability i don’t think open world ever brought anything to dragon age. it was incredibly poorly used in inquisition to just give you endless quests that didn’t matter, in order to farm the necessary xp to finally get to the actual story, which removed tension and pace from the actual story. when you play veilguard you can SENSE how hard the devs were thinking about that and how to avoid it with every choice they made. i really like how side quests are handled

i’m probably too much of a da2 girlie myself and actually enjoy those maximum railroaded maps but i think this is a really well handled balance that will work both for me and for people who want to explore. exploring is definitely rewarded well!!

[clarrisani]

I'm sorry, but they were indeed crazy Wincest shippers. The crazies hate Gen and Danneel, and claim they are beards for Jensen and Jared to hide their romantic relationship. That Jensen and Jared are fake married to Gen and Danneel, and question if their kids are even their kids. It's disturbing.

I didn't question if the other posts were from crazy Destiel shippers because those exist. There are crazies on both sides, and yes, it is still the mood now.

I've been in the fandom since 2007 and I've seen how vicious the crazy Wincest shippers are. There is a reason Bella, Anna, Jo and Ruby were killed off. It's because of those crazies. It's the same reason it took so long for Sam to get a romantic love interest, and even then, there is hatred toward Eileen and the actress that plays her.

There is still hatred from the crazy Wincest shippers, and intense hatred for Misha. You just need to look in the comments of anything Misha posts. They also have a tendency to tag Misha in their hatred. A crazy was rude to Misha at a recent convention in front of everyone. He took it in his stride, bless him. As for Kelios - she is infamous for her hatred of Misha. Yet the Wincest shippers embrace her.

The Destiel shippers will ban anyone crazy on their side. I've seen it happen. There is a crazy Misha stalker nicknamed as the "Twin Flame Girl" that people are trying to get banned from conventions because she is a danger to him.

There is hatred for Jared, yes, but the majority of Destiel shippers like him and Sam. They have issues with some of the things he does (who he associates with, for example), but they don't deny that he, Jensen and Misha are close. Not like the crazy Wincest/J2 shippers think Jensen and Jared hate Misha.

I've already said I'm a multishipper, and associate with both sides of the fandom. I'm not in an echo chamber. Mind you, it is hard to be in the Wincest fandom when I ship Destiel because I am often abused and shunned as a "traitor", and blocked by people. I've never experienced that on the other side. The larger body of Destiel shippers accept multi-shippers and make room for them.

In closing, yes, there are crazies on both sides. But as a fandom veteran, I can tell you that the crazies on the Wincest side are worse than the crazies on the Destiel side.

the wincesties are always kind to me. thank you wincesties i love you as much as dean loves sam

[silverlining-ships]

Music comms are CLOSED!! Check out the waitlist here!!

Ok y'know what, screw it. My brain seems to require three-four pieces at one time (genuinely cannot figure out why that is), and with the fact I only have two queued up right now and the game I'm composing for doesn't need any tracks at the moment, I'm getting composer's block again. So we're OPENING my music requests!!

I'm actually stunned at how many people seemed interested in getting a piece of soundtrack music for their f/o. I'm opening it to non-mutuals, and it's totally free! If you're concerned about paying/tipping for work, I'm always happy to receive content for my selfship, but I will not accept any money, and there's no pressure to tip content anyway. Again, this is for fun!

This is how it works:

Fill out this google form with the title of your ship, some songs you like, instruments, etc etc.

You can message on Tumblr or Discord (@/slipperson on Discord) on top of submitting the form too! I'll reach out myself once I get started on your piece.

I'll sketch out a draft, which is exactly like sketching out a basic pose for art - it'll typically only use piano/minor percussion. Sometimes I'll even give a simple concept before I flesh out a draft. I'll send it to you for approval.

If changes are needed, I'll refine the draft and re-update. If not, I'll go on to fleshing out the instrumental - this means adding instruments, changing volume (for example, in my first example, I used a lot of "dynamics"/volume changes to simulate the swelling of instruments). This is like adding the flat colors in a piece of art!

I'll send it to you again - I'll make changes upon your request, but if approved, I'll finally go ahead and mix the final draft. This means putting it through an audio program (audacity if you're curious!) and polishing the sound. This is like rendering the lighting!

After it's done, I'll send it to you for once last listen. Upon approval, I'll post it to Soundcloud, link it on Tumblr, and tag you in the post!

Important bits:

No comship/proship/aged up-or-down/RPF ships. Live action characters are fine as long as it's not the actual person. Familial/platonic ships are totally okay!

If you are a minor/ageless blog, I'm willing to write a piece for familial/platonic content, but not QPR/romantic.

Downtime is 1-2 months after I first open your request. I may finish it sooner, but no later than 2 months. This is because music generally takes awhile--30 seconds of music can take me 4-5 hours to concept! I also tend to work on 3-4 pieces of music at a time.

I will give frequent updates. Don't be afraid to reach out if you're curious on the status!

My work is never cleared to be used commercially or in AI programs. We're a bunch of selfshippers on Tumblr, so I know we all hate AI, but it's worth the mention. I tend to be strict on copywrite - it'll stay under my name, all rights reserved - however, you are free to use your piece wherever you'd like as long as it's not commercial use, used in a monetized campaign/video/form of media, and not used in AI.

I may put these tracks on a streaming service at a later date - not on Spotify, as the service is TERRIBLE with allowing their work to be remixed into AI. Something like Bandcamp or Soundcloud for Artists. If you are uncomfortable with this, please let me know.

Examples:

I will have my queue/completed list on my carrd here.

Thank you so much for your interest!! I'm actually so stunned I got so much love for this, and I'm excited to celebrate your ships with you!

heart border

[olderthannetfic]

So I'm not gonna be sticking around on Bluesky after all, unfortunately. I never expected it to totally replace Xwitter as the "main" social media platform for the masses, but it would've been a nice little alternative in theory. Sadly, I've already seen a ton of people being banned from the platform for completely ridiculous reasons, up to and including: posting vanilla NSFW artwork, making vanilla NSFW text posts, posting gore/guro/horror artwork, posting art of loli/shota characters (not even porn, just regular SFW art of young-looking anime characters) and being mass flagged/reported by people. (And yes, people were tagging stuff that should have been tagged, like NSFW and blood/gore)

The mass reporting thing was an issue on Xwitter as well, but it seems that Bluesky's public block lists feature is helping to really galvanise and empower people to do it to more people, more often. And then there's another HUGE issue with Bluesky, as well: how topics work. They're user maintained and user moderated, so if someone goes power tripping (especially with a super general topic, like art) and wants to ban other people because they don't like them, they just can.

I have literally seen regular users getting banned by other regular users, and yeah I'm totally sure that antis and bigots won't abuse that kind of power at all. Bluesky is already full of internet cop types and has way too much censorship for my taste. At least Xwitter will let you post your own artwork without banning you for the egregious crime of showing your character's midriff.

--

[kaddyssammlung]

I want to share some thoughts with you.

I really like all the new content that is coming in at the moment. But I posted two pics (so far) that I was very hesitant to post (pic 1 and pic 2). The thing about them is the elephant in the room. It's what you can see in them. His scars....

That catwalk and the new angles and everything and many now seeing what I always could....well...I'm rambling.

Hiding from here on because some topics are not for everyone. Vessel and self-harm….those words alone can get you blocked other places. Recently I talked to so many of you about that topic because I received a lot of messages about that topic (here and other places) and that made me think. I just want to share some thoughts and some links to YouTube channels that deal with topics like these. That's all.

To me this is almost nothing special in a way. I have struggled with this myself for many years. Mostly from when I was 14 into my early 20s. I know many other humans (real life and online) who dealt with the same issues. What I fail to realize is though: not everyone knows someone who struggled with this or knows something about this topic in general. That's why so many seem concerned or don't even know what to do with all of this. I wrote some stuff about it when I analyized the lyrics but that's just me talking about myself rather then about Vessel. He has suffered but like he says we all have suffered. The whole album “Take Me Back To Eden” symbolizes a journey of regaining inner strength. “We step into my suffering” it's what I do in my energy work session. I step into my suffering and face it in order to heal it and turn it into strength or something else that's positive. Not that important. We can learn from our suffering…well..this is actually not what I wanted to talk about. I just wanted to share some online resources that I like.

Psych2go has all sorts of videos about mental health. The videos are short and focus on what's important so that you can maybe understand a topic better.

Another video that I really like “Heartstopper Gets Therapized” (that Netflix show and that guy is a therapist). It deals with that topic, too and explain it really well.

another video that YouTube suggested to me and that I like

Why do people self-harm?

it explains the biology (in the brain) behind it. But it's more about the link between self-harm and BPD. So...it was meant for me because it's what I have.

I have no idea why Vessel did what he did but I'm sure that he is much better now. Of course I don't know that but seeing how much fun he has on stage these days....and also his voice. There is so much strength in it. You can't sing with strength when you feel weak. I find his transformation inspiring.

I do understand why other places treat this topic like the plague but for me personally that's not how I want to treat this. If you have questions you can aks btw. that's what I mean with this.

And also...I keep seeing so much cool stuff that I want to post but I'm not even sure what to post anymore because of how visible they are. Or if I should put a trigger warning in the tags or if I should just not do anything about it. I would not hide my scars on stage btw. I would wear what I want to wear and when they are in pics then I just would not care. I don't care that much about them anymore. They are just here.

[imsandra]

I Found a Smile

Cassian raised an eyebrow and, still smiling, asked in a provocative tone: "Are you good with a bow?" "I'm very good, want to test it?" Her voice was low and sharp, like the blade of a knife. "If you want, I can shoot an arrow through your forehead. Or, if you prefer, through your heart." Azriel couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips; a flicker of emotion ran through him for the first time in a long while.

This is a little preview of what I'm working on, I hope to have it out soon. I just want to say that even though this sounds good or so I think, it will probably have a bittersweet ending.

I'm trying to get through my writing block, after prioritizing my personal stuff.

Let me know your comments and if you want me to tag you, Ily 💌.

[derangedfujoshi]

hope this doesnt come off as rude or anything, im not trying to sound condescending, but the reason people dont like the christian anime loli girl thing is because she has a missionary rosary and its pretty racist. both the act of being a missionary in itself and also the color meaning on the beads. you can look it up if youd like. i dont want to tell you what to do or anything, because it is a cute design, so i understand where youre coming from, i just wanted you to be aware of what was going on just in case. have a good day :)

Damn anon I was writing a long, thoroughly thought reply to this with all the implications of being an italian non cis lesbian living in the same fucking city as the Pope but Tumblr ate it and I have no intention on rewriting it so you'll get the short version instead, sorry :(

The short version is that I don't give a shit because I'm an italian adult who's not constantly online and so I point and laugh at the ridiculous attempt of the Vatican to appeal to the youth, not by reforming the institution of the church but by creating a fucking ANIME GIRL MASCOT! It's ridiculous and pointless and to add another delicious layer to this absurd cake the designer previously collabed with a sex toy brand and did a Pride collection which made some people reeeeaaally mad within the church which only made the situation even FUNNIER! You can't make this shit up.

"but she's a missionary did you know that was bad" no fucking SHIT Sherlock, I studied history in school plus I hate the church as an institution but Luce is 1) not real so she hasn't "done" anything and 2) absolutely not that serious.

My dude we've been lewding her and her friends since the SECOND they released her, why do you think? Because we're pulling the middle finger at the church in a hotter and funnier way than whining online. Maybe do that instead and you'll feel better. That or block her tag ig but if some stupid ass anime loli mascot upsets you "because of racism" maybe you should sit down and re-evaluate what really counts as a problem to be mad at :)

[hellaverseconfessions1369420]

Long confession ahead, apologies in advance.

Look, I don't get heated about shipping. I like what I like, and I look at things I like. If I don't like whatever someone is posting, I'll filter the tags, and if they aren't using the tags appropriately, I will block them. It's fairly easy for me to avoid ships I personally dislike most of the time. I do all of the things I'm supposed to, and yet I'm still having this problem.

There is one singular ship on God's green earth that kills all of my enjoyment for both of the characters involved, and it is radioapple. I have never felt such strong emotions about any other ship before in any of the fandoms I'm part of. It's fucking everywhere. I genuinely cannot use this website if I want to see Lucifer or Alastor fanart/fanfic, and I'm not moving sites.

But God. I'm so fucking sick and tired of seeing "this post contains filtered content: #radioapple." When S1 first came out, I counted 37 blocked posts in a row on top of #Alastor on one given day. I had to scroll through 37 blocked fucking posts before I found ONE that wasn't about fucking radioapple. And that isn't counting all the OTHER Alastor ships, because of course that's all anyone gives a shit about anymore.

I'm on mobile, so I can't use browser extensions to make Tumblr's filtering system actually do what I want it to (delete every radioapple post, forever). I also don't feel like buying a laptop for fucking Tumblr. I've been getting back into HH after falling out of it for a while for related reasons, and I forgot how much angrier and more unhappy I am coming out of #Alastor or (to a lesser extent) #Lucifer than when I went in. Which is super awesome considering they're my two faves.

I wish I was kidding when I say I have actually cried real tears more than once over this. I'm aroace, and I thought maybe for once I'd get to feel at least a little bit included and represented in fandom as a whole. I thought having a canon aroace character would be that for me, at least one tag I could semi-comfortably browse and feel like I'm actually part of shit and not a spectator for once, but obviously not. I don't even get to look at fanart of a character I enjoy without being constantly reminded of how different and alone I am, even when that character is different in exactly the same way as me. Even characters like Alastor that are written to be like me aren't written for me. Because why would anyone create anything for someone like me to enjoy when they could instead jam a little more sex and romance in there?

I once scrolled through #Alastor blocking all the radioapple posters for so long that I reached the bottom of the page. Tumblr would not show me any more posts and I had to reload it. I blocked 209 different blogs, and it barely made a dent. 209. I can't curate my way out of this. I genuinely think I just don't get to like those characters anymore, and it fucking sucks. I want my deer man back.

TL;DR: I cannot enjoy these characters I deeply relate to with how prevalent and fucking inescapable this one ship is, and I'm not sure how to fix it. Frankly I'm not sure it's fixable, but I would love it if this wasn't something else I just don't get to have like everyone else. Someone tell me what to do about this. I want to have fun too.

I understand why you would think that. I’m probably aroaceflux and I can see some alastor in me (aroacewise, not serial killer wise) and why you wouldn’t want to see the ships you don’t like. Unfortunately that’s how many fandoms work, they’ll just keep shipping.

to be honest, I don’t know what to say, but thanks for the confession and I hope things get better for you

[whim-prone-pirate]

the reason i bring my identity up is to then make the point about the importance of queer characters in my life. you didn't need to ask, i told you! isn't that nice?

i never said that any of those things attributed to good storytelling, i said i understand about storytelling functions, meaning i am not at all shocked or surprised or saddened by how tommy was treated as a supporting character meant to provide buck steps in his queer journey.

i believe bucks queerness and their relationship were handled with the amount of grace necessary. again, this was a standard buck relationship (including the goofy break up reason), and bucktommy was given as much grace as bucktaylor or buckabby or whatever else!

my take is that i don't think tommy was supposed to be representation, buck is. and buck still is, they accomplished that goal.

i check the 911 insta pretty often, but that's the only social media i have that they're on. insta is notorious for removing mean comments so it's possible i didn't scroll far enough and/or don't get to the posts in time to see the death threats you're claiming.

in my opinion, their relationship was poorly paced, as is the rest of the show. pacing and time-and-place has NEVER been their strong suit. i am very sorry that this lack has gone towards ruining the end of something yall love, and i truly mean that.

my overall point is that diehard fans took things from the interviews that they were not meant to because they thought bucktommy was more special than bucks other relationships and nothing ever promised that. they handled it with grace by doing about as well as they usually do with writing the show and did not treat them differently on the basis of being mlm.

ps: you emphatically disagree with me, and i have to think that engaging in this conversation is not a happy time for you. that is why i bring up blocking tags of content you don't like. you can avoid this by taking preventative measures as i have.

i'm probably not gonna have much more to say after this or i feel i'd be reiterating everything i've already said but reply if you'd like obvs

and another thing people are discussing this like tommy was a main character with an arc. he was supporting at best even in his own relationship. i'm sorry to say it was not disrespectful to treat a supporting character like a supporting character. he's allowed to have an unceremonious exit. bucktommy existed for buck's story… not tommy's. i am ALL FOR loving and caring for character's who don't really have a story of their own (we're all huge fans of ravi and lucy and lena hello they are/were barely around!!!), i get how fun it is. but so many people are confusing their love for tommy and their headcanons for implication that he was ever supposed to stick around and develop outside of buck. he was never gonna be his own Guy you know.

[torterrachampion]

The early Alice and Gil dynamic is so funny. Like what is wrong with you two?

[sainz100]

2024 Brazilian GP | x