#;yuri: makes a cute & sincere gesture

[pharihyde]

@murderaer​ said: quietly and secretly holds his hand,

Aside from their initial bursts of affection, in the haze of the bubbling anxiety and new feelings, public intimacy was not an activity they indulged in. He knew Yuri wasn’t much for displaying feelings in public--or, perhaps, it was him that was more hesitant? Seeing as he had such a reputation and standing that would be changed as more knew of their relationship. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of being with Yuri, a man, no--it was Yuri that ought be ashamed to be with him. Older, a fake heart that faltered now and then and would continue to break down, with a history of betrayal and blind loyalty to the detriment of everything. As the butterflies died, what would be left to keep the wolf by his side? He’d certainly not want to keep him from a potential future with someone better.

So the feeling of a hand slipping into his jolts him, even as his own fingers immediately curl around the other’s, if not for any reason that his response to such unexpected actions is to grab the snake by the head, so to speak. His breath hitches as he falls back onto years of experience to keep expression neutral and not look about to make sure they’ve not got an audience for the moments it takes to relax again. This is fine. This is--well, as he loosens his grip and lets himself feel the heat ‘gainst his fingers--it’s good. It feels nice, and there’s a hint of a small grin, just a corner of his lips risen in that shy sort of new love, even as he tries to push it down because, really, he’s too old for that.

Still, repeatedly telling himself that he’s too old for young lovers’ games doesn’t keep him from being touched or wanting to play. Maybe one day he’ll act his age. Today, however, he’ll simply lean a little bit closer as they walk, and enjoy the way his baggy jacket obscured their hands between them as a secret only they shared, turning his head to make a quip, as if he hadn’t been caught so completely off-guard a moment ago.

   “Can’t keep yer hands off me, eh? We can skip th’ bar, go straight t’ my place. I’ve got enough beer.”

[snowywrites]

Yuri x popular Fem!reader

summary: fluffy fic in which the reader sees Yuri while working at a coffee shop and intends to be closer friends with her.

word count: 2.1k

"Y/N!"

You stop in your tracks, turning to scan the tables around you for the source of the voice; it was kind of familiar, and your eyes fall on a customer that's a regular here at the coffee shop. A young man around your age, usually here with his friends but alone today.

You had been about to go make another coffee for a different customer, but you force a service smile onto your face and hurry over to his table. "Hello!" You wrack your brain for a second to bring a name to this man- it wasn't easy keeping track of so many different people, and not just at your job! You also tried to keep tabs on the majority of your peers from school, too. Fortunately, it clicks a moment later. "Hatsumi, was everything alright?" You ask, noting he's already finished his pastry and drink.

Hatsumi grins, clearly pleased you had remembered him. Customers tended to get really happy over little things like that... if only they knew you did this with all of them. It was no secret you were one of the favorites here at the little shop, consistently getting better tips than many of your coworkers. "It was great!" He answers you brightly.

You nod and inquire politely, "Would you like me to go ahead and bring the bill out now?"

A moment of hesitation, and then, "Oh- uh, yes, thanks." He seems a bit disappointed, but you don't have time to dwell on it right now, not with how busy today's rush hour is. The only good thing is you're hopefully going to be getting off in about a half hour.

You assure him you'll be right back and then flit off to the counter to ring up the items he'd ordered and print the bill. As you're doing so, you feel a tap on your shoulder.

Glancing up, you see your favorite coworker, a girl several years older than you. "Y/N," she begins, a bit of a pleading look in her eyes that means she's about to ask you for a favor.

Biting back a sigh, you push down whatever annoyance you have at being interrupted to look expectantly at her. "What's up?"

"Can we please switch tables really quickly?" She practically begs you.

Switching tables wasn't too terribly uncommon- sometimes when guests came in, the baristas would know them outside of work and might ask a coworker to deal with the order and anything else.

"Sure," you giggle, ever the people-pleaser. You had a reputation to keep, after all! You don't like to brag, but you do enjoy the fact that you have many different friends and are well-liked by just about everyone you know. "Who?"

She gives a hop of delight. "Can I take the bill to Hatsumi?"

You can't help but smirk mischievously. "Ohhhhh, I see."

She lightly smacks you on the arm, instantly blushing. "Nono, I just-"

You cut her off before she can defend herself, knowing the two of you don't really have the time to waste playing around. "It's no worries. And who's that order for?" You question as you point at the circular silver tray in her hands which is holding a cute polka-dotted cup of tea.

"Ah, this goes to table three, the girl with the purple hair."

You nod, exchanging the bill for the tray. You want to watch and see what will happen between your friend and Hatsumi, if anything, but when you look towards the designated table, already heading for it, you realize you recognize the girl sitting there.

You have no trouble recalling her name. One of the members of your Literature Club, Yuri...

You haven't actually been in the club all that long at all, maybe a week-ish, and you feel like you haven't had any time at all to get properly acquainted with Yuri. Part of you feels that it's a shame, because you get the sense she's a very interesting and sweet person beneath her quiet and distant shell. It's just hard when she's always reading, and even in the rare moments she's not, she doubts herself so much during conversations with you that it just ends up being a bit weird.

But not today! No, you're suddenly filled with a sense of determination to get closer to Yuri.

You consider playfully scaring her when you walk up, but ultimately decide against it; aside from being naturally timid anyway, she's also, as usual, reading, and doesn't seem aware of anything going on in the shop around her. So, yeah, best to use a more gentle approach.

"Hey, you," you say, putting all the friendliness in your voice as possible, stopping beside the table to greet her.

In spite of everything, Yuri still jumps a bit in her seat, violet gaze flashing up to you in alarm.

'So much for trying not to scare her,' you think unhappily. Pushing that thought away, you give her a reassuring smile. "Sorry, it's just me! Y/N. We're in the Literature Club together," you try to remind her, wondering with a pang of horror if she's actually forgotten who you are. That would be a first for you.

A second of silence, but at last Yuri's tense grip on her book loosens, and she glances down at it, avoiding making eye contact. "O-Oh, I'm sorry."

Another awkward beat of silence. This was what you meant!! It always went like this with Yuri, and you wished more than anything that you knew how to make her more comfortable around you. Hoping to carry the burden of saving this interaction, you laugh nervously, "It's no worries! But, you didn't forget me, did you?" As much as you're just trying to joke around, there really is a slight feeling of hurt that that may very well have been the case.

Yuri stiffens, quickly answering, "No, I- I didn't!" It's a rushed response, louder than you've ever heard her speak and yet still quieter than most people's normal speaking voice. As if embarrassed by her small outburst, she ducks her head to add quietly, "Uhm, that is- I just meant that... I wouldn't ever forget you, Y/N."

Oh. Talk about giving someone butterflies. You never knew what to expect with Yuri- sometimes she could never get her words out, but then other times she'd say something with such a deep meaning that it would catch you entirely off guard. What's odd though is you know for a fact how truly sincere she is; Yuri is the type of person that's much deeper than most people, and she wouldn't say something if she didn't really think or believe it.

"Thank you, Yuri," you say warmly, setting her tea down near her on the table. "Here you go! I like this kind, too." Truthfully, since you hadn't taken the order yourself or even made the drink, you weren't 100% sure what kind of tea this was, but you were willing to try anything to make Yuri more at ease. It also wasn't unheard of for you to make conversation with customers, even if it was busier than usual right now- for once though, you weren't aiming to make a good tip or secure a regular customer. You genuinely wanted to talk with her. "Hey, is that the same book you're reading at the club?" You question after catching a glimpse of the cover art.

She shakes her head, causing some of her bangs to fall into her face. Brushing them out of the way, she frowns and then nods. "W-Well, kind of. I finished that one yesterday... this is the sequel," she explains.

"It must be pretty good if you want to read the next part already," you comment. "What's it about?"

As predicted, Yuri noticeably perks up. "Oh, I think you would really enjoy it, Y/N. It's about-"

"Y/N!"

You flinch at the stern voice of your shift supervisor, who apparently hadn't realized Yuri was speaking when he cut her off.

You glance back to see him gesturing at you in clear annoyance, motioning to the line of guests waiting for their drinks to be made. You nod, signaling you'll be right over.

Focusing back on Yuri, you're unable to mask your disappointment. "I'm sorry, I've gotta get back to work. I'm supposed to be off in a little bit though."

Yuri seems to also be discouraged, apologizing for keeping you, even though you're the one who had intentionally kept the talk going. She bites her lip, and then, probably overtaken by a brief moment of courage, suggests, "When you get off, maybe then I could tell you about the books?"

You're stunned, but at the same time, this was precisely what you'd been hoping for! "Yes, sure! That sounds great. I'll see you then!" You chirp, hurrying away.

The last of your shift passes by rather quickly, and when it comes time to clock out, you actually have to tell your supervisor no, you can't stay another extra hour even if they are busy, because you have plans! Normally you would have, but not today.

You meet Yuri at the door and the two of you leave the coffee shop together. The sun is close to setting, but not quite there yet. "Thank you again, Yuri! I like spending time with you, I've just been a little busy lately," you say.

Yuri mumbles something you can't quite hear, but then adds more clearly, "I-I'm glad..."

"So," you begin, clasping your hands behind you and beaming at her. "About those books!"

That's all it takes for Yuri to dive into an explanation of the main plot points as the two of you walk side by side towards your home.

You're more than a bit tired from work and standing on your feet for so long, but it's nice to have company on the walk back, especially someone like Yuri. You hum and comment every so often, honestly thinking that they did sound like the sort of books you would enjoy. Full of fantasy and mystery and thrills... and of course, romance.

"So, the main character ditches his friend, who's been with him the whole time, for the new girl? And she's from the enemy's group?" You surmise.

Yuri hesitates. "I don't want to spoil anything for you if you're wanting to read them for yourself..."

"Such a tease," you sigh, pretending to be betrayed. "Oh, we're here- this is my house."

The two of you stop at the gate leading to the front yard of your home, and you're positive you aren't imagining the plaintive expression on Yuri's face. You didn't really want your time together to end either, but alas, you both have classes tomorrow.

"If- If you really would like, you can borrow the first book from me," offers Yuri. "And then... you'll see for yourself how it all goes."

You nod enthusiastically. "Yes, please! Thank you, that's really sweet of you! We can discuss it too after I'm finished reading it. I think I already know who my favorite character is going to be, though."

Yuri tilts her head curiously. "Who would that be?"

"Nope! It's a secret, for now." You pause, glancing up at the darkening sky. "Will you be okay walking home by yourself?"

Her violet eyes soften at your concern. "Yes, I don't live very far from here."

You find yourself unsure of how to say goodbye to Yuri, an uncertain quiet settling over the two of you, but she doesn't seem to find it awkward. "Okay, if you're sure. Do you mind giving me your phone number, though?"

She starts in surprise, a dusting of pink covering her cheeks. "U-Uhm- I- you-?"

"So you can text me when you get home," you quickly defend your reasoning, feeling a bit shy yourself at Yuri's reaction. She really was unique- most people tried to play it cool when asking for or giving numbers.

"R-Right," she stammers, reciting it off for you, and her phone buzzes at the quick text message you sent her so she would have your number.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, at the Literature Club," you finally say, already looking forward to it. "And don't forget to bring the book, please!"

Yuri steps back, her gaze on the ground but you still see her smile to herself. "Yes, I will. Bye, Y/N." She seems like she has something else she wants to say, but then she gives herself a shake and quickly turns away, her long hair twirling to follow her.

You watch her go until you can't see her anymore, partly due to wanting to make sure she was safe.

You couldn't help but admire her for her intelligence and beauty, even if she seemed to admire your social skills in return. Hopefully this was the start of a very deep relationship with Yuri.

[terubakudan]

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi - Book Review and Impressions

(light reflection) Perfect :D Hoping Tumblr doesn't flag me for this xD

Ok, I'm going to start this off with 'this is probably the first and only book review I'm going to do' xD Because I rarely do read books now, and just as rarely buy them. Also, I would have preferred to buy the English version but alas they only had the Chinese version in stock ^^"

Stumbling upon this on the Internet, I was immediately compelled to buy this, as if I knew I would love it and that Nagata's story would resonate with me.

【Short Version】 I can't recommend this book enough, it doesn't matter what sexuality you are or from what culture are you. Nagata makes sure to tell an honest and 'naked' (without embellishments) portrait of her own personal experiences. How she herself is a college drop-out (having only graduated from high school), pushed herself to live/work while struggling with depression and eating disorders, not being sure of what she wants and feeling that she doesn't 'deserve' things, realizing her own sexuality in that she likes girls, and just not feeling 'good enough'...all through her cutesy and unassuming art style.

I will say again though, cutesy art style aside, the book deals with some very heavy topics. Nagata is very honest and doesn't shy away from the gritty details, and I admire her all the more for doing so. Many yaoi and yuri comics often portray an unrealistic and fetishistic view of the LGBTQ+ community whereas Nagata's story is much more grounded and sincere. This is not an easy read, but it's not an overly depressive one either. Nagata literally struggled for years with her mental health, but ultimately found light on the other side. Not mainly through the help of others, but through her own choice to forgive and love herself.

5/5⭐ Definitely recommend and would read again. And if I could, I'd give Nagata a big hug and a heartfelt 'thank you' for sharing her story.

【Long Version】 While it's written primarily from an Asian (particularly Japanese) perspective, Nagata's experiences are ones that should resonate with anyone who has been through the same or similar things, regardless of one's personal background. And I myself, while being fortunate enough to not have gone through eating disorders or self harm, am no exception.

I grew up in an Asian (Taiwanese/Chinese Filipino) household, while my parents weren't Tiger Parents (no offense but fuck Amy Chua for thinking that's a proper way of raising your children), they still had certain expectations on their children: to find a good husband/wife, have a good education, have a 'stable' career, etc. And while I love my parents very much, I'd be lying if I said there weren't any times where I felt they were smothering me, there weren't any times where they kept on nagging and bugging me for very trivial details. My biggest pet peeve: guilt-tripping me just for wanting to spend time alone.

"For me, my parents' opinion of me is absolute." (NOTE: While I won't be providing exact translations of the excerpts I used here, I'll do my best to summarize the gist of them.)

At the same time, I cared very much about their opinion of me. I made it a point to do well in school, to do things according to their wishes, and just like Nagata, I didn't know what I wanted. This even extended to caring about others' opinion of me, more than my own. In my freshman year of college, I 'went along' with being friends with someone, who while was nice to me, turned out to be a manipulative bitch skilled in passive-aggressiveness xD Being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, it was hard to fit in since people always treated me differently, it didn't occur to me I could be choosy with friends, I thought as long as they were 'nice' to me, that would do.

Asian culture is largely a collective one, where we define ourselves by our relationships with others, compared with Western culture (primarily America, I'll be using America as a reference point) where individualism is absolute, where you define yourself as you like. In Asia, it's also normal for children to still live in the same house as their parents well into adulthood, compared with Americans who are expected to move out the house once they finish high school or start college, and they're quite literally 'on their own', having to pay their own tuition, rent, etc. Where I live (Taiwan), it's normal for adults to continue relying on their parents financially well until college. Nagata for instance, while saying her parents really make her feel so pressured, is grateful that she still had a home to stay in (and she's 28!).

If you ask me though, neither a collectivist culture or an individualist culture is absolutely good nor bad. Each have their own pros and cons, and both Asian culture and Western culture could learn a thing or two from each other.

After going through quite a few job applications, one of the interviewers tells her "Ganbatte!" (You can do it!) after Nagata tells her what she really wants is to be a manga artist.

And sometimes that's all we need really, a small gesture or kind remark can do wonders. Even if there's no base or reason for it, it's something worth believing in.

I often have doubts if I'm doing what I really want, if I chose the right major for college, if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm 'good enough'. I didn't grow up with much self-esteem as a kid, and often derived my value from others. But even at my lowest times, a 'you're doing ok' was very reassuring to me, be it from family, strangers, or people I care about. Sometimes that's exactly what we need, it may be small but it could be the difference between continuing to wallow in depression or re-evaluating and choosing to be better to oneself.

I find it's really important to know, that however alone you may feel sometimes, there are other people out there going through the exact same thing. It's something universal, and while a lot of things are really unfair in life, each person has their own lot or burden to deal with. I have a Taiwanese friend who, while being more financially well-off than me, has terrible parents. And I mean parents who are quite so literally toxic, unsupportive of her, and would outright say the worst things to their own daughter.

How depression and anxiety can feel sometimes, we can literally feel like it's impossible to breathe and be in a state of disconnection from the world.

"The sounds that invaded my ears occupied my empty brain, making me unable to think at all."

If you only did what your parents asked you to do, wouldn't days like those be very painful? In the end, only you can understand what you really want.

Nagata's art style is one I would describe as simple, cute, and effective. I personally think had her story been drawn in a more serious style, it would have been even harder to read, much less finish. It's also a choice that has artistic appeal to me, serious subject matter juxtaposed with a 'kawaii' art style.

Nagata also depicts very well her mental state and thoughts throughout her struggle and journey to self-actualization. Depression is a really tough thing to deal with, and sometimes we don't even realize that we have it or if we do, refuse to acknowledge it. In Asian cultures especially, mental health has always been something of a taboo subject and there is a very heavy social stigma associated with it. Nagata herself even said that her parents seemingly refused to acknowledge that their daughter's mental health was in a state of distress. In Japan, there is a concept called gaman (我慢), which is described as 'enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity', and while it is portrayed as an ideal virtue that inspires perseverance, it can be a source of heavy pressure for others. Gaman also means that you are expected to suppress whatever emotion or negative feelings you have, often for the sake of others and no matter how tough the situation becomes for you. And while I agree that through gaman you can become more selfless for others, it shouldn't have to come at the expense of your own well-being.

I was quite fortunate to have grown up in a more liberal Asian household, but even when it came to mental health, our family also adopted the same kind of attitude towards it, by carrying on as if nothing was wrong, or just not talking about it. And to be honest, there were numerous times I wished we had been more open about what was bothering ourselves at that time. Talking and being open about your feelings is not a 'weakness' but something incredibly brave to do, and it's my wish for that to slowly become more acceptable in Asian cultures, which I know is kind of a stretch, but it doesn't hurt to hope.

Nagata makes the decision to clean herself up, by taking a bath everyday, habitually exercising, and no longer wearing worn-out clothes.

Depression especially can be a bitch. It deprives you even of your physiological needs, like your need for food. Nagata had to struggle with that on top of eating disorders for a long ten years. She ate so little and even felt that she didn't 'deserve' to eat, and at one point, anorexia became hyperphagia, and she would feel so guilty for eating almost expired/expired food. Things that would otherwise be simple to do also end up becoming difficult/impossible to do, like taking care of your personal hygiene, getting up from bed, doing simple tasks etc.

Thankfully, after Nagata realizes that she never truly 'valued herself', she starts to turn over a new leaf. Even just starting with cleaning herself up, she takes this as a form of 'valuing oneself' and her mood starts to improve, which her family also points out. In the end, taking care of yourself is not a selfish thing to do, it can even make you a better person who is there for others.

Nagata meets up with the female escort she hired, as a means to experience human sexuality, which she had always repressed her curiosity for and treated as a taboo subject. (NOTE: And I'm glad that she met a really nice girl for her first time too!)

Sex and sexuality is also a subject that I feel is hard to talk about sometimes, which I think also owes itself to most Asian cultures being relatively conservative about it. I myself have only recently identified as bisexual, which I attribute to internalized homophobia, not wanting to admit I was into girls too. And to be honest, 'coming out' is something I'm still uncomfortable about, because I don't want to risk my relationship with my family and it's still something I would choose to be selective about with colleagues and friends. I'm grateful though that as crazy the Internet can be sometimes, it can be quite accepting and tolerant towards things that we wouldn't otherwise discuss with even the closest people in our circle. Nagata's memoir ended up capturing the hearts of many readers ever since she first published it on Pixiv.

Exploring your sexuality doesn't have to be scary, it should be something exciting and liberating. Nagata decided to take matters into her own hands, and while the days leading up to the encounter made her really nervous and she even considered not going through with it at all, she willed herself to continue, because she wanted to do this for herself, it would be pointless if she gave up after coming so far in her decision to value herself.

And it's these series of actions that she decided to do that ultimately led to her life turning out for the better, it gave her the courage to do what she always wanted: to be a manga artist, which lead to the publishing of this autobiographical memoir, something she wanted to create that would 'make people want to buy this book' and from her own preference for reading stories that 'speak of secrets people wouldn't want to tell others'.

Nagata mentions what she calls 'honey': something that varies from person to person. It could be your reason for living, that thing that drives/pushes you, or even your sense of belonging. It may not be something permanent, but you can always find yourself a new one. (she mentions the last time she had her 'honey' was during her high school days, and while she has grown apart from the friends she made, she has found her new 'honey' in the form of being a full-time manga artist.)

Nagata stumbles and trips a lot on her way to being a better version of herself, but who doesn't? She admits to things not necessarily being smooth, but at least she's doing better than before. And it's that decision to at least try that counts. We don't have to be perfect, we're all human after all.

TL;DR My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness is a honest, down-to-earth, and ultimately hopeful memoir about the struggles of mental health and learning about one's sexuality. It's an amazing book, and very much worth the buy.

A big thank you if you read through all of this too. I know it's a mess and writing isn't exactly my strong point, but hopefully I've convinced some people out there to give this book a read! Please feel free to share your thoughts and I'd appreciate it very much too if you reblog/like this post.

[agent-cupcake]

Third place winner @atomicchocolatecookie asked for a fluffy Yuri scenario where reader was a mage and artist and although this isn’t as fluffy as I kind of intended... I hope you enjoy it? 

POV Yuri x Reader

/

“You called for me, yeah?”

Yuri’s greeting caused you to jump up from your chair, sketchbook pages fluttering to the floor. He probably should have knocked rather than let himself in, considering the circumstances, but the breach in etiquette didn’t seem to stick to you after the surprise faded. Sometimes you scolded him for such antics, but not today. A pity, you were pretty cute when you were indignant. Then again, he did feel a sort of fondness for the way your eyes softened for him, the way you smiled despite being startled. If he had any doubt as to the reason for you calling for him, it was all cast out with that look. Yuri was good at noticing things. Little things, signs in people’s behavior that gave away their feelings. Not that you ever tried particularly to hide what you felt, or perhaps you just hadn’t recognized the feelings for what they were. In a way, receiving your invitation was a relief because, to him, your affection had been obvious for a while. You cared for him. Loved him, even. Yuri had seen it all before. But in that second, appraising you honestly, Yuri decided that he didn’t mind. It was you, after all. Maybe you weren’t all too different from countless of the other women he’d enjoyed, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He’d come to like you quite a bit and after everything that had happened-

Well, every person had a vice. Yuri was more than well aware that he’d never find absolute regardless; what was a petty indulgence on top of that?

“Yuri! You came,” you exclaimed, just a touch breathless. He doubted that you meant for it to be appealing, but the happy relief in your tone was alluring in a way, even if the hesitant concern in your smile was somewhat condescending.  “I didn’t know if you would.”

“With such a cryptic invitation, how could I not?” Yuri responded with a playful confidence to squash the irritation of your tone, dangling the sheet of paper you’d sent to him between two fingers. It was a simple thing, merely inviting him to visit the collection of rooms you’d claimed as a home and art studio whenever you stayed in Abyss, but the lines were clearly drawn up and he was more than capable of reading between them.

“I thought you might want some company. I know you’ve been having...” You paused, chewing on your lip as you carefully selected the right words. Your lip was already red from the treatment, a sign that you’d been stressed. Or nervous. “A hard time.”

Yuri could have laughed at such a massive understatement, but he held off. It wasn’t like there was anything funny about losing dozens of his people in a surprise ambush from hired thugs. It was an insult. A tragedy. An event he should have been able to avoid. Although Yuri knew the aim of the attack was to get him to let off on the nobility, although he absolutely knew that it meant he couldn’t give in, sometimes, between trying to organize aid for the widows of his men and trying to restructure things to fix any compromised pieces of his plan, it was hard to justify to himself. Sometimes the notebook in his pocket was a dead weight, a body count he had to support with every step onward. It wasn’t funny at all but Yuri forced a smile and a confident, if teasing, voice. He was meant to be strong. Besides, weakness would hardly benefit him now. That’s what he always did to get what he wanted, wasn’t it? Lied, pretended. It didn’t matter.

“Aw, you were worried about me,” he cooed, holding your gaze with a winning smile. It had the intended effect, even if you tried to play off your embarrassment. Your reaction was cute. Yuri liked the way your eyelashes fluttered as your eyes leapt around, unable to meet his. The way your fingers danced at your side. You had pretty hands, graceful and dexterous in the way so strongly associated mages, musicians, and artists. They were softer than most, but not without callouses. Yuri would have been a liar to say he hadn’t wondered what they might feel like, if they were as clever as he thought they might be.

“Yeah, I guess so,” you answered. “You’ve seemed different since… It happened. So I wanted to do something to help you feel better.”

“You’re cute,” Yuri said, wondering in an abstract way if you were always this bashful when it came to men or if he was special. “But as you can see, I’m fine. Not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment.” That was why he’d come, wasn’t it? You could distract him —you were willing to!— and with just a word, with a single touch, he could have you at his complete disposal. And maybe that would help. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time he used another to soothe his aching spirit. The self-loathing of his actions hardly even registered. Not yet, at least. “Although,” Yuri said in a lower voice, taking a few steps closer. You were soft, in a way. Guileless and charming in how earnestly you regarded him as you met his eyes. It was a beauty that was all at once shy and overt, and one that he found inexplicably compelling right then. He was close enough to smell the faint fragrance on your skin, close enough to make his intentions clear. “Let’s drop the act, yeah? I think it would be better if we both more honest about what we really want. What I-”

“Wait!” you said, cutting him off. Strangely, you took a step back, an action an odds with your bright eyes and blushing cheeks, clear signs of attraction. “Um, sorry. What I want, why I invited you here, is to give you... I have a gift that I wanted to give you.”

Yuri, caught somewhere between amusement and surprise, stopped and raised an eyebrow. “A gift?”

“Yes, I painted you something. I thought that it might lift your spirits a bit. Maybe,” you said, your excitement edged with a skittish mania now that the mood had turned so abruptly. You gestured to the easel behind you, one that was covered by a ghostly sheet thrown on top. Yuri had discounted it as a trivial piece of furniture, a seemingly omnipresent setup in your rooms.

A gift. You had never painted anything for him specifically, although he had seen some of your portrait work. Painting people was a special hobby of yours when you weren’t engaged in other endeavors. Sometimes he wondered why you bothered at all with the criminal work, but you insisted that art was a mere fancy.

“Consider me intrigued,” Yuri said honestly, dropping the flirtatious effect. “May I see this ‘gift’?”

“Yes, of course,” you said in an overly bright voice. Insecurity and awkwardness was written into every line of your body, scratched deeply into the furrow or your brow and purse of your lips as your smile fell. Somehow, even this was a little charming. “Right. Well, I guess there’s no point in waiting. So-” You pulled the sheet off the easel, letting it drop to the floor without ceremony. Yuri wanted to say something, make some sort of comment about your behavior, but when you pulled the sheet away from the easel, he was rendered speechless.

What could he say?

“Do you like it?” you asked softly, peeking at him sideways.

Yuri was well aware of his beauty. He primed and projected it in the scathingly vain way only an auctioneer of the self could be. His looks were well documented by every painter and wordsmith who had ever attempted and failed to capture him in some capacity. But you hadn’t painted beauty. Portrait-Yuri wasn’t looking at the viewer, but at something past the edges of the canvas. He was smiling, commanding, but there was something else. His allure wasn’t aesthetic, but transcendent of such a trivial attribute. That man both was and wasn’t Yuri. Like he was staring into a mirror reflecting a perversion of reality.

“Yuri?” you asked when he didn’t answer.

Yuri blinked, clearing his throat and forcing a smile. It was harder this time, with such an obvious reminder of what the genuine article was meant to look like right in front of him. “Sorry, I was admiring your technique.”

You swelled with the almost-praise, your eyes alight as they searched his face for any response. “So you like it?”

Did he? Yuri looked back at the canvas. With the second glance, he was able to understand what was wrong with the image, what troubled him so intimately. You had painted a hero. Portrait-Yuri’s smile held no deceit. In his posture, there was no pretend. The man you’d painted lacked Yuri’s sin. The hands he raised in passion as he seemingly addressed someone or someones unseen were clean of filth. After the sleepless hours he had spent trying to clean up a mess that was a direct result of his wrongdoings, the image was like a bludgeon of his flaws. After being so entrenched in the darkness of the world he’d submitted himself to, the light was jarring.

“You can be honest with me,” you told him when he didn’t answer.

Yuri shook his head, trying to push back the feeling swelling in his chest. “I didn’t pose for this, so I’m trying to remember when this might have been,” he lied. Misdirected, really.

“Oh, it was a while ago. You were rallying support, uh, explaining how you were gonna make the nobles take responsibility,” you told him. It took a second for the event to come to mind, but eventually, Yuri remembered vaguely what you were talking about. Moons and moons ago, then, he couldn’t even recall if the two of you had been close at that point. Yuri had nearly forgotten about that night. “Nobody believed that you could do it. I don’t even think I did,” you added after a moment of thought, staring at the painting rather than meeting his eyes. “You were called crazy and overly optimistic and naive. But when you got up to speak, I realized something.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

You turned to him, your eyes sincere. Intense. “It’s not blind optimism or naivety. It’s not like you lie to yourself that the world is better than it is. In fact, I’d hazard a guess that you see the worst parts of the world more than anyone else. But you don’t submit to such a cruel fate or accept that it’s the way things must be. You want the world to be a better place, and you have the will to change it. That night, that’s what I saw.”

If he were any lesser man, you would have rendered him speechless all over again. But he was Yuri, and a response formed alongside a smirk that didn’t even half reach his eyes. “You’re wrong about that,” he said. “About me.”

“I know what I saw, that’s why I painted you in the first place,” you told him stubbornly. “I didn’t know if I was going to give it to you until now, but since everything that happened… I thought maybe you’d need a reminder.”

He knew the words would come out too sharply before he spoke them, but Yuri couldn’t stop himself from asking, “A reminder of what, exactly?”

“Art can’t change the world,” you said, ignoring his tone. “At least, nothing I could do. But you know, people use statues and paintings of saints to inspire their good actions. They look at paintings of Nemesis as an example of evil. When I look at this Yuri, I see you. The you I think you want to be. This is the man that history will remember. So even when bad things happen... Even then, this is-”

“A little paint can’t cover the things I’ve done. That man,” Yuri nodded to the portrait, “isn’t real.” His voice lowered, softened. “Besides, history would be better off forgetting me.” He looked at you, so earnest and trusting, and ran a hand over his face as the guilt formed into a sick slush in his chest for what he’d intended to do. “You would be better off forgetting me, too.”

“Then why do you fight so hard to do good things?” you asked him. “If you believe that the bad things you’ve done have destroyed any hope of redemption, why do you leverage your power to help make things better for the people in Abyss? If you truly believed you were beyond any hope, then doing those things would make you an idiot. Sorry, Yuri, but I don’t buy it.”

“Should I try and convince you, then?” Yuri asked. “I wonder what it would take. If you wish to exalt the best of me, you should know the worst, yeah?”

“Fine,” you said, no hesitation or doubt in your voice. You put your hands on your hips, tilting your chin upward in defiant determination. Yuri was no artist, but if he could have saved the sight of your eyes at that moment he would have gladly become one. The look was not the simple infatuation of a girl, or the affectionate and misguided love he believed had kept you trailing around him. Could he even call it love at all? When you looked at him like that, he felt oddly exposed. Only minutes ago he had believed fully in his ability to manipulate the situation, but right then he wasn’t so sure. “Tell me about your guilt and shame and listen when I tell you that you can be forgiven. That I forgive you.”

Forgive him? You? You, a master forger and gremory who wanted to be recognized first and foremost as an artist. You, a whimsical fool who insisted that beauty was for everyone to enjoy, scoring the ungrateful aristocracy who hoarded it all for themselves. You, who had joined his cause out of a childishly expressed desire to do good. Yuri knew he was guilty of countless unthinkable sins, he knew that enough blood dripped from his hands to drown in, and he knew that even the goddess’s clemency could not save him from reaping what he had sown. Yuri could argue the point if he wanted to. He would have been right to say that he was deserving of your disgust and distrust. He should have done his best to avail you of whatever love you believed you felt for him.

But he looked at the portrait you had painted, and couldn’t. Was that really what you had seen that night? Could that really be him? Those whose names were listed in his notebook, would they believe in such a thing? In such a man?

Eventually, Yuri relented to the war of his thoughts, shaking his head and putting a hand to his temple. “Who put you up to this, I wonder,” he mused.

“We were all worried,” you said, “But nobody put me up to this. It was the only way I could think to remind you of why you’re needed and appreciated. And I was worried because I... I care about you. I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

Those words pulled him from his thoughts, set something within him at ease. The awkward way you stumbled over the words, the way your voice softened them so sweetly. Yuri had been confessed to in hundreds of ways but never had simple admissions been used to such great effect. It was also a reminder that despite your clear feelings, you had rejected his advances in an attempt to make him feel better. Seemingly inadvertently, you had turned everything around on him. Yuri wasn’t sure if he liked the feeling, but he felt a sort of appreciation for the way you’d managed it all.

“Do you, now?” he asked suggestively, peeking up at you. Sure enough, blushing, your iron-clad determination having eased up. But the look was different. Or perhaps his way of appreciation had just changed. 

“Don’t tease me, Yuri, I’m being serious,” you said.

“Who’s to say I’m not being serious? I seriously was asking how you felt. I’d like to know these things.”

You hesitated. “Really?” you finally asked, your tone adorably earnest.

He laughed. It wasn’t full, but it wasn’t fake either. It felt good, as if some weight had been taken from his chest. “Whatever am I going to do with you.”

“Trust me?” you asked.

When Yuri looked up at you in surprise at the request, something within him softened. He wasn’t a fool, nor was he particularly good at lying to himself. It was affection. Desire of the heart. Not just for you, but for the portrait of him you’d created. The desire to be that version of himself.

He smiled, although it was a confused expression, half bewildered and half reeling from surprise. “Maybe I will.”

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #161

Ah, the After-Suspension Party. Nearly everyone expected it was gonna happen to some degree. But just because it was predictable, that doesn’t mean it can’t be meaningful. Specifically, we see the core members of the Tomoko “harem” (I use the term half-jokingly because it’s just easier) progress in ways that you might not have expected them to, but it’s all-the-more welcome simply because of how hard our girls are trying to get their “best ending”. 

Chapter 161: Because I’m Not Popular, Things Will Go Back To Normal

Interesting choice to have Hirasawa and her BF on the splash page this time, considering they’re not in this chapter at all otherwise (though it’s not like Nico Tanigawa haven’t done it before). From the looks of thing, Hirasawa is gazing fondly at Ucchi’s compadres, yearning for the female friends she doesn’t have.

Could this be a preview for upcoming developments?

Your entire existence summed up.

There’s something oddly amusing about how Tomoko pointed out the dog while acknowledging Ucchi. Almost like she’s putting them on the same level.

Apology Progress: 21% 

For everyone’s else insistence that Tomopup is kind of weird, it’s absolutely fitting that Nemo thinks it’s cute. I could go all pseudo-psychological about how Nemo is projecting her feelings about Tomoko onto the dog, but...

...that would be stating the obvious, wouldn’t it?

Apology Progress: 30% 

“Stupid dog! You made her look bad!”

Notice how Tomoko has that extra shading on her when she pops the question? It makes the exchange feel ridiculously dramatic, and if that isn’t the mangaka toying with shippers, I don’t know what is.

Apology Progress: 90%

See? Now that wasn’t too hard, was it, Ucchi? The first step to improving oneself is admitting to your mistakes. You’re lucky that Tomoko doesn’t care that much about you to hold a grudge, but still, it took guts to humble yourself before your crush. Now you can put all that animosity behind you and move ahead to finally admitting your feel–

Apology Progress: -5%

Nah, just kidding. I knew it was going too smoothly. I’d be pissed if I wasn’t laughing too hard.

Oh, wow. Katou is actually giving Ucchi the “How would you like if they did that to you” lecture. As if her mom-level wasn’t already off the charts.

Props to the translator for finding a great alternative to use in place of “yabai”. It’s not the same word, but the reasoning still applies just as effectively as the original. 

Nice save, Ucchi.

NOT.

Apology Progress: -10%

Confession Progress (Part 2): 18%

...go on.

This close. We were this close to Ucchi finally admitting to Tomoko’s face that she finds her attractive. It’s taken a mountain of digging and prodding at Ucchi’s psyche, but her inner feelings have finally skirted the surface. Unfortunately, the plot demands that Ucchi’s progress has met its quota for the day. 

Hina Nemoto: Professional normie/otaku hybrid, aspiring voice actress, and now, expert wingwoman.

Hey, Nemo...

YOU WANT SOME ICE FOR THAT SICK BURN???

Oh, Katou. Your motherly tenderness transcends the species barrier.

Oh, Tomoko. I recommend you look up the word “projecting” when you get the chance. You may just learn something about yourself.

Oh, Ucchi. Your arsenal of kimoi-based puns knows no ends.

Oh, Yuri. Not so above it all after all. 

So Tomoko really did succumb to a bit of cabin fever, after all. I can only imagine how much Tomoko might’ve regressed if she had to do suspension on her own.

Is it weird that Tomoko and Nemo’s passive-aggressive banter makes me nostalgic? 

It’s been a while since we saw the two of them go at it like this. One key difference is that Nemo, in her growing admiration for the girl, is subtly complimenting Tomoko for how much she’s come out of her shell since the day they first met. 

Take some notes, Ucchi.

Even when she’s a disembodied fantasy head used for narrative purposes, Itou still lights up whenever she gets provoked. It’s amusing how each character has their own quirk like–wait a minute.

Itou Hikari. (hikari = light). Oh...duuuuuuuh. 

It took over two years, but what goes around has finally come around.

The fated first meeting between Tomoko and Nemoto may not have meant much for the former, but for the latter, it’s was the spark that made the otaku/normie into the girl she is today. From being the giver of fistbumps to becoming the receiver–it’s astounding how such a simple gesture can sum up their relationship like that. 

Hey now, Tomoko. You can’t exactly judge Nemo when you’re the one who introduced it to her. 

Take this with a grain of salt, but you ever get the feeling that Tomoko has memory problems? Forgetting Komi-something’s name, her brother’s school application, and now this? You could say it’s just her being a jerk and not retaining info she doesn’t care about, but maybe there’s something more to it.

(Nature documentary voice) “And here, we witness a wild Emoji Girl, commonly known as the “Ucchi”, assume the mating position as she targets her prey.”

You know what? I don’t even think Yuri is being that kuudere here. After their “date” at the recreation center. I’d say she gotten comfortable with not hogging Tomoko all for herself. Good on her, and good on Mako for looking out as always. 

���As you can see, the Emoji Girl will attempt to cozy up against the elusive Tomoko by ordering the same beverage as her.”  

That’s nothing new at this point, though it’s the first time Tomoko has been surrounded exclusively by the “popular” girls. (Yes, I know Yuri is right behind her, but still.)

I want to make some cheesy comment about how Tomoko and Yuri always have each other’s backs, but that would be...actually, screw it. They totally do.

I’m a sucker for shots like this where you can visually feel the “so near, yet so far” dynamic between two characters. Someone help me.

Rena, you ever think that being a repeat offender may have something to do with that? Or do you and Yoshida (not sure about Anna) have no concept of self-awareness?

Who’d of thought that Those Two Girls would someday be hanging out with Those Two Girls?

Actually, given the direction this manga has taken, it’s not that surprising. At first glance, it’s easy to think that Rena and Anna are a little too rowdy for the likes of Yuri and Mako. Thankfully, we have Yoshida acting as the “test run”, allowing Yuri and Mako to become accustomed to their delinquent atmosphere. Even if they don’t end up the best of friends (Rena, in particular, seems pretty high-maintenance), I don’t see any reason they couldn’t end up respecting each other. 

Now these two, on the other hand, were secretly my platonic rareOTP. Anna's the most approachable of the Delinquent Trio, and her easygoing nature feels like it could smooth out Yuri’s rougher edges. 

Yeah, I’m a sucker for Sweet Stoner x Wallflower pairings. 

–discovered what hentai is!”

First off, Yuri is too freakin’ cute nibbling at her fries like that. They seem to be going for the “big eater” trope for Yuri, and I like how it’s being played with. Improbably thin girls with big appetites are a dime a dozen in manga, but Yuri feels different because it's not that she necessarily loves food. It’s just that eating is her way of busying herself when she doesn’t want to deal with social situations. As any introvert will tell you, it’s a natural habit when you can’t muster up the nerve to speak up in a group. 

Yuri may fall behind the pack compared to the others, but what makes her special is that Tomoko will always look back for her.

Just, you know. Give her a week.

Smooth move, Tomoko! Calling Yuri by her first name in front of the others now? May as well have been a marriage proposal!

Nico Tanigawa are making it really hard for me to remove my (Friend)shipping Goggles when they include “long-lost lovers” dialogue like this. (Or maybe I’m the only one who sees it that way...)

Off-topic, but something about the perspective of this shot seems off. I think it’s the chairs’ different-sized legs.

This entire image just gave me Type 1 Diabetes.

There’s no grudge or snubbing that one might’ve expected from Yuri. Instead, Tomoko offered her a sincere–if not teasing–retort, and Yuri responded back in kind. The general hesitation that Yuri has when Tomoko’s being weirdly affectionate isn’t an issue anymore. But the sweetness dials up to eleven when you remember how Yuri flubbed the flirty joke Tomoko offered during the Mouseyland trip. Yuri’s learned how to banter with her, and best of all, she’s enjoying it. If that ain’t friendship goals, I don’t know what is.   

You know a friendship has potential when you’re buying extra fries for the table.

If there’s an edge that Yuri has over the others right now, it’s that she’s acquainted with Tomoko’s actual soulmate, Yuu Naruse.

This chapter’s title is really misleading, but not by how it’s normally done by this series. It states that “things will go back to normal”, and back in the early days, it was meant to be ironic. It would suggest that Tomoko would return to her unchanging loneliness, only for us to be hit with the amusing realization that things have changed now that she’s made friends.

But here, it’s a double subversion. That chapter title is now being played totally straight. Everything we’re seeing now–Yuri opening up and being less possessive, Nemo’s “tough love”, and Ucchi’s whirlwind efforts of befriending Tomoko? That is the normal now. Tomoko’s improving high school life is no longer a shift in the series’ premise. It is the series’ premise. 

To not be afraid of change without ignoring your roots is the true mark of what makes Watamote stand out as a coming-of-age story.

[willag42]

Yuri!!! On Ice Fanfic Recs with Reviews  ["X" Authors]

Note: Doing some major reformating of the YOI fanfic rec pages. The pages that include my reviews are now having the posts separated alphabetically by author (see below). I am also creating separate page(s) that allow filtering the fanfics by category. It's a work in progress, but I'm having fun with it.

This page includes my YOI fanfic recs (with reviews) for authors whose names begin with "X".

Note: For any authors whom I don't know the gender, I refer to them with they/them. If any authors wish to correct me, please do so.

AUTHORS REC PAGES: #0-9 -- A -- B -- C -- D -- E -- F -- G -- H -- I -- J -- K -- L -- M -- N -- O -- P -- Q -- R -- S -- T -- U -- V -- W -- X -- Y -- Z

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Refer to this masterlist for all of my YOI fanfic recs.

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xylophones (@xyloophones)

Zero Gravity 'verse (Series, 6 works)

To Boldly Go Rating: Teen -- Words: 29.5k -- Status: Complete -- Summary: "Yuuri!" Viktor calls. "I've come to rescue you!" Yuuri stares at him blankly. He gestures to the various unconscious space pirates with his recently discharged phaser. "Oh, Captain," he deadpans. "Save me." (A year in the life of badass science officer Yuuri Katsuki, Captain Viktor "Team Mom" Nikiforov, and simultaneously the best crew and worst crew in Starfleet history.)

The Second Law of Thermodynamics Rating: Teen -- Words: 11.4k -- Status: Complete -- Summary: "What do you mean there are no parks on space stations?" Yuuri blinks up at him innocently. "Where do you walk your dogs?" He's so adorable it should be illegal. Yuuri should come with a warning sign. (A throwback to their Academy days.)

Rocket Science Rating: Teen -- Words: 13.4k -- Status: Complete -- Summary: "Vitya," Yuuri calls, "could you hold this for me?" "Anything for you, solnyshko," Viktor says with frightening sincerity. "I'd knock out the stars one by one if you asked me to. I'd take on an entire fleet of Klingon ships. I’d––" "Okay, calm down, Romeo," Yuri grumbles. "He's literally just asking you to hold a bag of bird shit." (5 times Viktor and Yuuri almost said they love each other + 1 time they did.)

The Proper Procedure for Filing a Mission Report Rating: Gen -- Words: 3.7k -- Status: Complete -- Summary: Jessa likes to think of herself as a level-headed person. That being said, if she has to read through one more page about Commander Yuuri Katsuki's eyes, or Commander Yuuri Katsuki's muscular thighs, or how cute Commander Yuuri Katsuki looked while picking up rock samples–– She’s going to steal a ship and fly to the Enterprise's' last known location so that she can personally smack Viktor Nikiforov upside the head.

Herd Immunity Rating: Teen -- Words: 3.7k -- Status: Complete -- Summary: Yuuri gets sick. Viktor cannot handle it.

Highly Illogical by TheCookieMonster77 (@thecookiemonster77) Rating: Teen -- Words: 6.1k -- Status: Complete -- Summary: The times the Enterprise takes on new crew members and the time they don't. ❤❤❤❤❤  Words: 67.7k Status: Work In Progress Relationship: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov Tags: Alternate universe; Star Trek; Space; Starfleet Academy; Action/Adventure; Humor; Hijinks and shenanigans; Found family ❤❤❤❤❤  Review: This is yet another example of one of my favorite "the main character is a badass despite being normal" tropes. In this story, Yuuri is a natural-born human compared to the genetically-modified majority in Starfleet. While the story is not a commentary on his situation and doesn't dive deep into the discrimination he faces, it does effectively convey how hard he had to work to overcome the issues most of society is privileged to not have to deal with (anxiety, sickness, etc). It makes his accomplishments and role as Commander and Chief Science Officer (scientists represent!) even more awesome. He proves over and over again how capable and badass he is. The structure of the story is composed of interconnected ficlets that show snippets of the daily life on Starfleet (most from Yuuri's POV). Most are light-hearted slice-of-life moments, mixed with adventure, exploration, drama, and action. A few moments of angst slip their way in later on, but they don't stay around for long. Viktor is super!Extra in this series, often playing the enthusiastic goof to Yuuri's straight man. Their interactions are funny, heartwarming, and adorable. A wonderful scifi series with awesome kickass characters.

[thotticus---prime]

Vineyard Vines or Boyfriend Finds?

You are here: Part 1, Part 2

DON'T YOU TELL ME YUURI HASN’T BEEN TO THE OLYMPICS MY BOY IS JAPAN'S ACE OF COURSE HE HAS

2008 olympics babes

Based off of @indiansummersunset and @iverindes preppy trust fund college kid Viktor.   Yuuri is going to be a lot more skilled than when we first saw him in the series so basically. Super good skater + Trust fund Kid Viktor

(I sincerely apologize) 

--------------------------

Yuuri stared down at the campus map on his phone, despite his glasses he still squinted to try to make sense of the many paths that overlapped each other. He looked up from his phone to see if there were any actual street signs then ruffled his hair and pushed his glasses further up his nose. “What’s the rink called anyways?” His muttered question was answered by a small group of girls all focused on someone out in the field. “It’s Nikiforov Rink.” They answered without even looking in Yuuri’s direction.

He stared down at the phone in his hands again, trying to find Nikiforov Rink, only to let out a frustrated sigh and adjust his glasses. “Nikiforov Rink? Where’s that? I’m going to be late to practice!” None of the girls answered his question but the figure they were focused on turned to look at him. Yuuri swore he could see literal sparkles surrounding the VIneyard Vines clothed man. Everything about him screamed preppy as he jogged across the large field, a frisbee in one hand and a smirk on his face. “Hey you!”

Yuuri looked both ways to see who the guy was shouting at then pointed to himself. “Who, me?”

“Yeah you!” The man jogged over with a bright smile while Yuuri could only think ‘Oh shit’ in his head. “Hey I heard you were lost, Nikiforov Rink right? I can find it on the campus app for you.” He smiled brightly as he held his hand out.

Yuuri looked down at his phone with an uncertain expression then smiled back and handed it to him. “Alright, thank you!”

After the silver-haired man typed for a few seconds he handed the phone back. “Here you go, good luck!” He winked at Yuuri then jogged back over to his friend to resume playing ultimate frisbee.

Yuuri smiled slightly and followed the map to the rink, he did however get sidetracked by a new message on his phone with a new contact.

From: Vik Nikiforov:

Hi Yuuri

My parents build Nikiforov rink

But they built me better

The texts were followed with an obscene number of emojis. Yuuri blushed a bright red then slid his phone into his pocket.

Once Yuuri had made it to the rink he stashed his phone away in his bag and pulled his skates out. He laced them up then pulled his sweatshirt off and walked to the rink side. “Um, Mr. Cialdini?” A tall dark-haired man with a pony tail turned then flashed a bright smile. “Ah Yuuri!”

Yuuri smiled nervously then nodded and bowed. “Thank you for coaching me Mr. Cialdini!”

Celestino smiled as he waved his hands. “No need for that, you can call me Celestino or Ciao Ciao.” Yuuri smiled at that then nodded and gestured to the ice. “Ah, um. May I?”

Ciao Ciao nodded then gestured to the ice excitedly. Yuuri smiled as he took his skate guards off and set them on the barrier next to his glasses. After pushing his hair back he glided out and looked at the other skaters who were there. Since it wasn’t a “Scheduled” practice everyone was free to use the rink however they wanted. As he watched the groups fumble on the ice he practically winced at the way they were digging into the ice and creating holes.

Yuuri took a deep breath then put his wireless headphones in his ears, his phone already playing music that connected to them. Once he found out that the groups basically stayed at the edges of the rink to grip onto the barrier he glided to the center and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath then began to do warm-ups, a few simple laps around the rink and then basic jumps.

After he had warmed up he began to skate, testing out the choreography he had in his head. He sighed as he tried to figure out how to fit everything together into his new program. He spent almost an hour trying to work on choreography before huffing and pushing his hair away from his face.

Ciao Ciao spent the first hour observing and giving comments from the boards before having to leave to go to a meeting on the other side of the campus. Yuuri watched him leave with a sigh then went back to skating, the music changed to his most recent skate that he performed, making him smile and begin to skate as if he was at a competition again.

Yuuri didn’t get the chance to notice that the ice was completely empty, most of the students in the stands watching him. Thanks to another student who began to live record it to the rest of the campus, most of the students who weren’t in classes began to file in.

He had his eyes closed as he glided across the ice with a bright smile going from his step sequence into a quad flip, triple toe loop combination. By the time he finished that combination jump Viktor Nikiforov and his entourage had entered to see the newest skating scholarship winner.

It had almost become a show at the point with how many people came to see him skate, when he transitioned into his biellmann spin more than half of the students gasped as Yuuri did it then began dizzying spins.

Yuuri finished in a few minutes then slid his earbuds out for the first time in about two hours, he almost fell over when he heard cheers coming from the stands. Once he noticed that he was the only one on the ice he had never been so happy for his near blindness after he had his glasses off.

He was a blushing mess as he quickly skated off the ice and put his skate guards on, only to then shove everything in his duffel and quickly rush out of the building.

Chris hummed at Viktor’s side once the newest scholarship kid rushed out of the rink, he turned to talk to Viktor when he noticed that he was still staring at the ice. “Hey Viktor, what do you think of our newest student?”

“Kruto! Did you see how he moved on the ice Chris, we need to bring him on the yacht. Yuri make sure he get’s invited to the next yacht party!” Viktor was interrupted by Yuri Plisetsky yanking his shirt and glaring. “I’m not your secretary old man.”

Viktor simply smiled as he took his sweater off then swung it over his shoulder, keeping it in place with his pointer finger acting as a hook. “So everyone, should we make him part of the group?”

Yuri muttered a dark ‘no’, Chris smirked and said ‘yes’, Georgie was still crying from ‘the beauty of the way he glided across the ice’, and Mila grinned with a ‘yes’. “Okay so we have two for yes one for no and I think a yes from Georgie but I’m not sure. Let’s invite him to frisbee tomorrow too, Yuri, make sure he gets invited to frisbee!”

“I told you I’m not your secretary old man!” Yuri was fuming as he stomped off to his dorm, leaving the four to walk back to their own dorms together.

“So you like Yuuri huh?” Chris saddled up to Viktor side then smirked. “Oh mon ami you should see the way he dances too~!”

Viktor nearly pounced on Chris as he grinned, “He dances too?! Chris he’s so perfect we have to go to his next performance or his next skate. Maybe Mama will let me hold an emergency skating event! We can have some roses there for him and then we can give him other flowers too not just roses right? He might not like roses though so we can give him maybe some lilies? Oh! Wait maybe he’d want a more expensive thing for that! Let’s get him a faberge then right? Any questions? No? Okay we’re going shopping soon then!”

Mila put her finger to her lips as she thought then looked around the campus ground. “Why don’t you just ask him Viktor?”

“But how can I ask him Mila?” Viktor whined while leaning on the redhead then pouted. “Viktor...Viktor he’s right there getting his dorm keys okay?” Viktor perked up at that, his eyes scanning the quad before they landed on the Japanese man walking out of the administrative building.

Viktor rushed over to the Japanese man then flipped his bangs and grinned. “Hey there Yuuri, wanna go on a trip on my daddy’s yacht?” He finished with a hand on his hip and a wink.

Yuuri stammered a few words in Japanese, too flustered to changed to English before shaking his head, his cheeks varying colors of red that spread from his ears.  Viktor’s grin faded slightly as he observed Yuuri before a loud bark could be heard, followed by Yuri’s angry yelling. “Oi! Old man get your dog! Why was he in my room anyways!?”

Viktor turned just in time for his dog, Makkachin, to fly past him and knock Yuuri down. Yuuri let out a loud ‘oof’ then began to giggle as Makkachin licked his face. “V-Vicchan what are you doing- Wait. You’re not Vicchan?” Makkachin let out a bark then went back to licking Yuuri.

“Makka get off of him!” Viktor quickly grabbed Makkachin and dragged him off of Yuuri before holding his hand out. “Sorry about Makkachin, she doesn’t normally do that.”

Yuuri laughed as he sat up then scratched Makkachin behind her ears. “It’s okay, she’s cute.” He played with the poodles large ears before standing up fully and looked down at the packet in his hands. “Well, uh. I going to go find my dorm? Did I say that right?” Yuuri mumbled to himself before shaking his head and quickly rushing off. Shouting a ‘Bye Viktor’ over his shoulder.

“Chris?” Viktor asked his friend without looking at him, his eyes glued on Yuuri as he made his way through the quad.

“Yes, Viktor?” Chris saddled up to his side then smiled.

“I’m gonna date that boy.”

When Yuuri made his way into his dorm he was immediately blinded by balloons flying at his face and then a flash disorienting his vision. “Welcome new roomie!” Yuuri blinked before his vision cleared to see a thai man with hamsters on his shoulders and a phone in his hand.  

“A-Ah, I’m Yuuri!” Yuuri smiled then held his hand out. Phichit grinned as he finished typing then pulled Yuuri into a hug. “I know,I’m Phichit. You know you really should update your insta more often. I need to see pics of my new roomie’s adventures!”

Yuuri laughed slightly then ruffled his hair and maneuvered around the balloons to set his duffel down. “Um, I have all of my stuff in the car if you can help me?”

Phichit grinned as he nodded then practically skipped down the hallway with Yuuri in tow. “We’re going to have so much fun this year Yuuri, sorry I could be at the rink to welcome you but I had a class then.”

“Oh it’s okay I got here late so I left all of my things sitting in the car and just ran down to the rink.” Yuuri laughed slightly then skidded to a stop next to the car with Phicht. “You get to meet Vicchan!”

As soon as the door opened Vicchan bounded out and into Yuuri’s arms, Phichit took a picture of that with a grin then slid his phone into his pocket and went to pet Vicchan before the two turned when they heard a squeal.

“Yuuri that was so cute!” Yuuri turned to see Viktor with a frisbee in his hand and a bright smile on his face. “I didn’t know you had a poodle!”

“I-Uh, yeah?” Yuuri blushed to the tips of his ears as he slightly hid his face behind Vicchan. Viktor jogged over then grinned at Phichit before turning his attention to Yuuri. “He’s cute, what’s his name?”

“Oh. Uh Vicchan!” Yuuri continued to blush in different colors before setting the small poodle on the ground.

Viktor smiled and went to say something before Chris shouted from the field. “Hey Vik throw the frisbee!” He pouted slightly before winking at Yuuri and jogging back across the field. “You’re no fun Chris!”

“Yuuri?” Phichit continued to stare at Viktor as he ran, his pink Vineyard Vines shirt drawing attention to himself.

“Yeah?” Yuuri turned his head to look at Phichit while petting Vicchan who had his head tilted to the side.

“Why did Viktor Nikiforov come talk to you? Why didn’t you tell me?!” Phichit let out a series of incoherent screeching noises while Yuuri blushed and attempted to get his new roommate to stop.

You can find my Ao3 and trash fics here

[helloluckybouquetbearus]

Girls’ Generation celebrated their anniversary with lovely posts!  The group all recently got together to celebrate Sooyoung’s birthday and also their anniversary. On their 13th anniversary on August 5, each of the eight members shared photos and videos on Instagram from their party as they expressed their love and gratitude to each other and their fans SONE.  Taeyeon wrote, “It’s Girls’ Generation’s 13th anniversary. Thank you so much and congratulations to all the SONE, who’ve been with us for such a long time, and to my beloved members. This has made me realize again that there are so many people who can share the emotions that I feel in my life, and that is so precious and I’m so grateful. Girls’ Generation never ends, so ‘Cheers’ to our happy days in the future too. I’ll have a good day while feeling grateful. SONE and Girls’ Generation, let’s be happy.”  In a video that she and many of the members posted, they first introduce themselves before Yuri says, “Happy 13th anniversary!” and they cheer, express their love for each other, and congratulate SONE too.  Tiffany says, “We’re so happy to be able to get together every August, and I want to say ‘Happy anniversary’ again.” When Hyoyeon teases her about her big gesture toward the camera, she explains, “It’s because I’m so touched!”  She goes on to say in English, “It’s so good to be able to get back together and we just wanted to wish you a happy 13th anniversary! Love you guys!” After they say their group greeting, Yuri cutely adds, “Miss you”!  Tiffany shared in English on her own Instagram, “13 summers ago i remember blowing out the candles & thanking god for bringing each & every one of you into my life. no matter how far apart or how long it’s been, it always feels like we’re picking up right where we left off. i am SO grateful for our journey together & especially our sisterhood. blessed to have such incredible women & SONE to grow stronger & wiser TOGETHER each year. thank you from the bottom of my heart for the unconditional faith & love you show.”  She added in Korean, “Thank you for always making me able to anticipate and dream more. Now, in the future, and forever, I love you Girls’ Generation and SONE… I sincerely congratulate you on our 13th anniversary, I love you.”  Sooyoung wrote, “Our 13th summer together, I’m so grateful to have my people still by my side. I hope that all of you who miss us will feel comforted by shouts of ‘Now, in the future, forever Girls’ Generation’ that you hear for the first time in a while. Next year too, we’ll try to make you feel that you’re happy to be a fan of Girls’ Generation.”  Sooyoung also posted a photo in her Instagram stories of herself, Hyoyeon, Tiffany, Seohyun, and Sunny at the party. She wrote on it “The Girls’ Generation version of Refund Expedition.”  “Refund Expedition” is a reference to the working name of the girl group that Lee Hyori came up with on “How Do You Play?” that would feature singers with strong images, including L by Korea Stars TV

[bananacheeriowriting]

Commission: I Love You

[Place Commissions Here!]

Commission by @iamsmaug

Fandom: Yuri!!! On Ice

Prompt: Here at @saltyinventor

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, NSFW

Word Count: 3, 245

Yuuri and Viktor had been together for a little while, it wasn’t long ago that he had proposed. They loved each other, more than they loved anything else. Tonight was one of those nights where they could relax and stay with one another. It was times like these that Yuuri enjoyed the most, the times he could spend with Viktor and not stress about who he was competing against. His anxiety was nowhere to be seen, but his self consciousness was loud as he watched himself in the mirror.

The Japanese male sighed as he once again lifted up his shirt to look at his body, bemused with the sight. While he wasn’t fat like he had been before, he still felt self conscious about the way he looked.

“Admiring yourself?”

A familiar voice reached his ears in a whisper as warm, sturdy hands hands landed themselves on his hips as a head appeared on his shoulder. Yuuri felt embarrassed as Viktor’s warm sea foam eyes looked him over like he was the most delicious pork cutlet bowl in the world. The Japanese male gave a tiny, awkward laugh as he shook his head.

“O-oh, Viktor! No, I was just looking at my progress…”

Yuuri cursed himself for how brittle his voice sounded, it didn’t help that it sounded like he hadn’t expected his lover. They were sharing a hotel room, how could he forget? He placed his hands on his stomach, dropping the shirt in the process as he looked away. He had dressed pretty lightly for it being winter time, but a fireplace was roaring in almost every room, giving no reason to dress heavy. Yuuri had loved his sweatpants, his big sweater with a long sleeved shirt underneath, and his socks, he felt that they hid all his little imperfections.

“You don’t look very pleased, then. Are you not proud of how far you’ve come?”

Viktor closed his eyes, placing his hands on the smaller male’s hips while his chin rested on Yuuri’s shoulder. Brown eyes casted down, unable to answer the question. Was he proud of his progress? He couldn’t lie and say that he was, because there was no way to explain the look he had before Viktor had come in. A moment of silence crossed them, Viktor’s smooth, husky voice slicing through it like a slaters blade.

“Perhaps I could be of service?”

“Viktor…?”

A sly smile etched onto Viktor’s mouth, his eyes twinkling mischievously as he connected his lips to Yuuri’s neck in small butterfly kisses. Yuuri felt his face heat up as Viktor ran his hands up and down his sides, pressing their bodies closer together. His kisses lining down towards the younger males shoulder. Despite his embarrassment, the touches sent shivers up and down his spine.

“You look beautiful, Yuuri…”

The warm breath of the Russian against his neck sent a jolt of electricity through his body. Yuuri’s thoughts about his body began to melt away, and he began to give into the desire that was his fiance. A small smile painted Yuuri’s face as a few moans passed his lips once Viktor kissed a sweet spot on his neck. Lips carved into a smile, pleased with the younger black haired male’s reactions.

“I’ll help you see what I see…”

Yuuri blushed and, although hesitant, he nodded. Turning his body around, he wrapped his arms around the silver haired male. Feeling a bit brave, Yuuri moved forward and kissed him. Viktor, although surprised, was pleased with the sudden move and was eager to kiss back. Like almost every time, the kiss seemed to steal Yuuri’s breath away but just like any other time, he found that he didn’t mind it. In the blink of an eye things had taken a turn.

“You look so cute, Yuuri!”

The black haired male let out a surprised gasp when suddenly his coach was nuzzling and cuddling him, ruining the whole mood that Yuuri had. He blushed and groaned in embarrassment.

“Viktor! I don’t want to cuddle!”

The younger male began to struggled underneath the older male who still gushed over him, Yuuri pouted as he pushed Viktor’s shoulders back so that he could look him in the eyes.

“Viktor, I don’t want to cuddle, I want us to...you know...do that thing…”

Yuuri felt like he had been hit with a block of ice. How could he want to do such an act if he couldn’t even say the simple three letter word? He was snapped out of his thoughts by Viktor giving a tiny laugh.

“You’re so innocent Yuuri, you can’t get the word out, can you?”

He couldn’t believe it! Was Viktor teasing him right now?! Before he could get out a single word of complaint the other male connected their lips in a swift kiss before giving a warm smile as the Russian man looked down at the male he would someday call his husband.

“я люблю тебя…”

It took a moment for him to register what had been said, but the way that Viktor kissed him was enough explanation. Yuuri kissed back with the same amount out zeal, not noticing the tiny steps Viktor was taking, getting them closer and closer to the bed. His hands exploring the soft skin of his lover, Yuuri shivered, pushing himself into the Russian’s hands.

“I love you too…”

Despite being so breathless, their lips had separated just long enough for Yuuri to reply to the Russian man but it was just for a second. Accidentally taking a step back, thinking that he had a little more room than he did, they both tumbled back onto the bed in a heap. Yuuri had landed face first into Viktor’s chest, both their legs dangling off the edge of the bed. They looked at one another for a moment before they began to laugh.

“It’s nice to see you laughing again, Yuuri.”

Yuuri blinked before looking at his future husband, Viktor’s face was eased with a sincere smile. The amount of love that he saw coursing through Viktor’s seafoam eyes made him blush in embarrassment, but none the less he was happy. Yuuri felt a smile begin to paint itself onto his face and once more he connected their lips. The Russian man chuckled into the kiss and went to remove the sweater of his lover, only a little surprised to see the undershirt.

“Do..do you think that you could at least leave my undershirt and my socks..?”

Yuuri gently held onto Viktor’s hands as he blushed, looking away nervously. All traces of his boldness had been lost with the simple gesture of his shirt about to be removed. Viktor nodded, only wanting the younger male to be comfortable. Sitting up, Yuuri removed his sweater, leaving only his undershirt, before he began to unbutton the silver haired male’s shirt, who only smiled.

“Let’s switch.”

Yuuri was hesitant, but complied with the older man’s wishes. He felt a little awkward laying on his back. While it wasn’t their first time doing it, it was a rare moment when they did and it wasn’t often that Yuuri would be asked to be on his back. It made him more comfortable to be this way, it was just that he always felt a little chubbier on his back. Reaching into the nightstand he pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom.

Neither of them had anything, but it was always best to be protected. Viktor stood and began to undress himself completely, leaving himself in only his boxers. Once back in the bed he removed Yuuri’s sweat pants, leaving the young man in nothing but his socks, undershirt, and boxers as per requested.

“You look beautiful…”

Awestruck eyes looked down at the male underneath him, a blush beginning to form on his face. Yuuri couldn’t meet his gaze, not until Viktor forced him to look at him as he once more connected their lips. A battle for domination insured as Victor ran his hands along all the lines that was his lover, taking care to kiss down to the males stomach gently pulling the male’s boxers down to expose his hardened member. Yuuri quickly grabbed on of the pillows to hide his face, unable to look at Viktor as he began to get the Japanese male ready. Taking a generous amount of lube the Russian male propped his lover’s legs up before smearing it against his entrance.

Yuuri’s legs twitched as he let out a tiny whimper of the cold feeling of the lube. Ever so gently Viktor gently entered a finger inside the entrance and slowly began o finger him to get the black haired male to loosen up.

“Hey Yuuri, does it feel good?”

He couldn’t respond, panting heavily at the welcomed feeling of a finger rubbing against his sensitive insides. His body, however, was doing all the talking for him as he tightened around Viktor’s finger.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Viktor gave a tiny chuckle before he inserted another finger, making scissoring motions to open him up a little more before beginning to finger him once again. Little sounds kept emptying the black haired skater as he tried to quiet them with the pillow that he clung to for dear life. Viktor smiled and began kissing up and down Yuuri’s smooth thigh, moving his fingers at a steady pace. Kissing up and down the younger man's thigh he moved down to kiss the tip of his shy lover’s shaft. Gently, he placed small kisses down to the base of the shaft before engulfing the male completely.

Yuuri let out a loud gasp as the warm wetness of Viktor’s mouth surrounded him. The black haired male wasn’t new to this sensation, but it was a rare one. The older man began bobbing his head, using his tongue to find one of the main vein. Yuuri hid his face in the pillow, hugging it close to him as his toes curled. Tiny whimpers were all that could escape his lips from his mouthful of pillow as he arched his back.

Viktor made a hum of triamp once he found what he was looking for, toying with it with his tongue. A hand was quick to grab a fist full of silver hair as he bobbed his head at a teasingly slow pace. Yuuri was never really able to hold out long whenever his fiance would do this to him.

“C-close! Victor, I’m close!”

Vikor held back the urge to smirk when he heard the black haired male cry out that he was coming soon. With the intention of teasing him, Viktor released the now hardened and pulsing length from his mouth, resting his head on his hand as he looked up at Yuuri, a small smile on his face. Upset that he had stopped Yuuri looked from underneath the pillow to look for an explanation as to why his orgasm had been delayed.

“Viktor…?”

Yuuri sounded winded, his breath heavied. Viktor offered him a closed eyed smile as he moved his free hand to run his finger along the slit, smearing the pre-cum and saliva. Yuuri jolted as his breath became labored, biting his lip as his face became as red as tomatoes.

“Don’t you think it’s a little unfair that you get to come but I haven’t even had the chance to?”

The male stood to expose his enlarged bulge that was horribly hidden. Yuuri his his face once again in his pillow, his mind running wild, feeling bad that he was going to be the only one to come yet Viktor wasn’t going to get to as well. He blinked in confusion when he heard the Russian male began to laugh.

“I was just kidding!”

Yuuri looked out to see the male grinning, though the bulge was still evident.

“Viktor, don’t do that!”

Yuuri began to pout, causing the older male to laugh again. Offering a smile the male gently began to pull down his boxers, allowing himself to be free.

“I’ll get ready, would you like to hold my hand?”

“Noe, I’ll fust howd the pilloe”

Him trying to speak made Viktor gush, it was cute! He quickly set to work, putting the condom on before covering himself with lube, hissing at how cold it was.

“This’ll be cold, but just bare with me.”

It was a quick word of warning before he placed a generous amount of lube into his hand, smearing it around the entrance of his lover. He wanted it so that Yuuri wouldn’t get hurt or feel any sort of discomfort. It was a pleasant experience, the cute little moans that emptied Yuuri were enough to drive Viktor crazy. Yuuri let out a tiny whimper as his lover pulled his fingers away, but was quickly hushed by the elder replacing his fingers with himself. Though he was glad that Viktor’s fingers wouldn’t tease him anymore, the condom felt weird against his slickened entrance.

He couldn’t complain, more like he hadn’t been given the chance to.

“I’m going to move, Yuuri.”

Victor gently held onto Yuuri’s hips as he slowly rolled his hips, refusing to even dare to move too fast. Underneath the pillow that the Japanese boy was using as a comfort his face had been tinted read, his eyes glazed over as soft gasps of air emptied him. The tiny shocks of pain that shot through his body had been easily replaced by the waves of pleasure.

“V-Viktor…”

The tiny moan was like music to the Russian man’s ears; He wanted to hear more. He panted, his cheeks now being dusted with a light pink. He gently moved his hands to trace up the smooth and unblemished skin of his lovers thighs, not willing to make him uncomfortable by moving his hands up and under the shirt his lover had on. Viktor was sure that Yuuri would look beautiful without any clothing on, but he recognized that Yuuri wasn’t completely comfortable with his body, hence how they had gotten to this point in the first place. Whatever made him comfortable, Viktor would accept it with open arms.

“I’m going to move a little more.”

Making sure to keep Yuuri updated on what he planned to do just incase the action wasn’t welcomed, the Russian man lifted one of his lovers legs up over his shoulder as his hips began speeding up his hips. Tiny grunts emptied from his pale lips as he kept a steady pace. The sound of lightly slapping skin hadn’t covered the tiny, muffled moans that slipped from underneath the pillow Yuuri had been using to cover his face. Viktor could only imagine just how cute the Japanese male looked right now, but he guessed he would just have to leave it to his imagination.

“Vi-Viktor…”

The Russian man was snapped out of his train of thought as his name had been moaned out, a tiny smile painting his rose pink face.

“Faster…!”

Viktor was surprised at how needily it had been pushed out, but with a lit up smile on his face he complained to the younger male’s wishes. Taking the other leg and placing it on his shoulders the slapping noise began to increase in volume along with the sounds from the two men. He wanted to hear more of the sweet noises Yuuri had to offer, he wanted to drink it all up and bask in it.

“Let me please you..”

With only this said, Viktor moved the two of them so that Yuuri was now on all fours, face still covered by the pillow, with his perfect ass up to level with Viktor’s shaft.

“I love you so much!”

Though through clenched teeth as he once more began his fast thrusting, Yuuri could understand perfectly what Viktor had said. It was a little frustrating that he wasn’t able to get the words out to reply, but decided to let his body do the talking instead. Sweat began to drip from the both of them as the heat of their bodies began to increase. In one swift movement, Viktor lifted one of Yuuri’s legs and once again began slamming into his entrance. A tiny gasp of surprise had emptied the younger skater, but he didn’t oppose the sensation that shot through his body in waves.

Viktor made a grunt of irritation once he realized that he couldn’t hold up Yuuri’s leg and jerk him off at the same time and found that a sacrifice needed to be made in order for him to please his lover to the best of his abilities. Yuuri was confused when the pleasure had stopped and his leg had been put down, he was about to protest about the action until he felt Viktor place his chest onto Yuuri’s back.

“Viktor, what are you doing...?”

The Russian man didn’t answer, instead he placed tiny kisses along the black haired male’s neck before gently sliding his hand up his lover back thigh before sliding it down to gently grab the harden shaft that hung between the Japanese man’s legs. It twitched at the sudden warmth, having grown accustomed to the cold air that the room offered it. Without meaning to, Yuuri bucked into Viktors warm hand, feeling irritated at all the movement that the silver haired male had been doing, wanting him to just choose and go with it. Viktor gave a laugh, almost as if he could read the younger boys thoughts.

“I’m sorry I move so much, it’s just hard to find the perfect position, you know?

That happy go lucky smile was on his face, Yuuri could just feel it though he couldn’t see it. Done with almost all of his jokes, the Russian man began moving his hips in rhythm with his hand, determined to help Yuuri meet his climax even if it was the last thing he’d do. Yuuri, not wanting his fiancee to do all the work, met the thrust half way. This gave him a tiny advantage, allowing himself to use Viktor’s hand to pump himself. He wasn’t that strong, and felt his orgasm building up faster than he thought it would.

“Viktor! Close!”

It was an odd sensation, even if they had done it a few times before. The odd sensation of coming, the awkward sensation of needing to pee yet at the same time not needing to. He began a bit worried when Viktor hadn’t answered him, but Viktor found no reason to answer. He instead sped up him movements, feeling the same buildup begin to form inside of him. With a few more thrust, Yuuri let out a loud gasp as he emptied himself onto the bed, body quivering and jerking as Viktor kept his hips moving.

While he had been a little behind, he hadn’t been too far behind and ended up emptying himself inside of the male even if the rubber had caught his seed. Collapsing, the male fell on top of the younger male, causing him to squirm at the weight and heat of the Russian man.

“Viktor! Come on, you’re heavy!”

“Sorry! Sorry!”

Once he had gotten off of the male, he quickly pulled Yuuri into his arms. A happy, closed eyed smile painted itself on his lips, feeling more relaxed. Yuuri had finally uncovered his face and smiled softly, face still covered with a crimson red blush.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Yuuri.”

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #132

The Disneyland shenanigans are officially over, and Tomoko goes back to her unchanging school days.

...nah.

One of the more introspective punchlines of the series was when Tomoko thought things would go back to normal after the Kyoto trip, only to realize how much her life has changed because of it. It stands to reason that the Disneyland trip would have the same life-changing effect on her, so in this case, that punchline becomes moot. Change, however gradual, is inevitable now, and this chapter highlights just how much Tomoko has changed in terms of her maturity.   

Chapter 132: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Get A Kouhai

Normal is never static. What was normal yesterday is not normal today. And what they thought was abnormal has since then become normal. Such is the life of Miss Tomoko Kuroki. 

Would’ya look at that. A hint of Minami’s development has finally been realized. With her “friends” Katou and Okada hanging with Nemoto, Minami has grown enough self-awareness to see that she doesn’t have the sort of friendship with them that she’s been trying to force. Could this be the start of Minami’s growing inferiority complex? 

Fourth wheel, but yeah.

I think this is the first time Mako and Yuri have directly acknowledged Tomoko’s hobbies. Sure, they likely got the impression during that time Tomoko recommended books to them during the snow day, but they’ve always been more reactive than proactive. While they probably don’t know the more otaku-ish media Tomoko consumes, seeing Mako reciprocate that gesture, and in a positive approach no less, is so heartwarmingly nonjudgmental. 

Minami is not actually as condescending as she sounds in this translation. While she does acknowledge that her relationship with Yuri and Tomoko is inconsequential, she actually appears to give some serious thought to bettering her relationship with them. As it stands, getting shot down at Disneyland seems to have opened Minami’s mind a bit to the idea of letting down her bully-shield to let in the companionship she so desperately craves.

My personal favorite aspect of Tomoko’s character is how she’s so media literate. Not just in stories themselves, but the practices that go into them and how they influence society and vice versa. But what keeps Tomoko from being a strawman character is how her responses are framed. Her instinct, when offered a shoujo manga, is not to thank Mako (but I’m sure she did), but to criticize the genre. When reading is involved, Tomoko is relentlessly brutal.  

There’s so much you could say about how Tomoko pretties herself up when inserting herself as a shoujo manga heroine. All I can say is that, all things considered, Tomoko has infinitesimal levels of self-importance. 

I could overreach here and say that the bully in the second panel looks interestingly similar to Katou...but I’ll leave it at that. 

As a realist, it makes sense that Tomoko would be disdainful of the absurdly optimistic nature of shoujo manga. For reasons I’ll expand upon later, I believe that Tomoko may actually be expressing a degree of protectiveness for all her criticism.

I grinned like a moron at this.

As we come to realize, Yuri is generally very restrained in her behavior towards her friends, reactions and all. Whether she hesitantly agrees with Tomoko or subtly disapproves of her actions, Yuri almost never throws in all her cards. But this may be the first time Yuri has ever sided with Tomoko on something 110% of the way. It warms my heart, even if Yuri ends up “corrupted” this way. 

Many others have already noticed this, but Tomoko’s assessment of shoujo manga appears to reflect the growing relationship Minami has with them, perhaps even foreshadowing where it might lead. It’s worth noting that Minami is more resigned than the dialogue suggests. She partly sees the impossibility of befriending them as a weakness of herself, leading her to take the last resort of seeing her old group. Now, I wouldn’t necessarily be as disappointed as Tomoko if Minami did befriend them. With Nico Tanigawa’s ability to avoid obvious cliches, I think they could pull it off.

Aside: I’ve always been fascinated by how simultaneously mature yet childish shounen manga often is. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing. To put it briefly, when done correctly, it can influence young teens to take a healthy approach to life’s dark realities. 

Bless these friends and how supportive they are of Tomoko’s loner habits.

To this, I’d like to call forth the trope named, “Generic Cuteness”. In the case of shojo manga, the “plain” girl is still drawn beautifully, because... 

a. then the reader can self-insert as being more pretty than they really are, and b. the most basic of human anatomy, i.e. “plain”, is still universally appealing due to a lack of glaring deformities, which manga art styles tend to replicate.

As I said before, Tomoko’s first-hand experience with unrealistic hopes has made her empathetic to those who’ve been in her shoes. She knows how the influence of media can set up naive youngsters down a path of disappointment, so her rejection of such manga could be her own passive way of strengthening up today’s youth. Wow, I sound old.      

It’s pretty sad how self-deprecating Tomoko is about her own looks, especially since making friends seems to have subtlely prettied her up. To reference another trope, the “Hollywood Homely”, the casting of which is no doubt politics in play, never fails to make me roll my eyes.

Is that manga a parody of Wolf Girl and Black Prince? You couldn’t pick a better shoujo series for Tomoko to poke fun at.

The Return of Imae’s-Sister!

...or not.

Creeper in the background: “..disgusting.”

Already, we can see that Hirasawa is not as oblivious as her resemblance to shoujo manga heroines would lead one to believe. Her response to Tomoko’s questions tells us that she’s well-aware that hanging with a lot of guys makes her look like the type who “gets around”. The impression would look even worse if they knew she already has a boyfriend. 

I do question why being surrounded by guys is viewed as potentially negative whereas nobody seems to bat an eye when it happened to a girl like Futaki. I won’t go into too much detail since the latter isn’t in this chapter, but it may have something to do with Futaki being untraditionally pretty, and thus easier to root for.      

This is one of those lines that could mean something entirely different depending on who says it. It’s easy for a girl to sound arrogant and smug for such “unfairness”, but Hirasawa’s sincere expression makes her sound sympathetic, at least I hope so.

Admittedly, the idea that someone can have a personality that “makes you want to bully them” is an idea I have difficulty wrapping my head around. It’s that implicitly sadistic reasoning that doesn’t jive with people who are strictly against bullying. The only way I can kind of see it is how some people are easy to tease because of how prudish they can be. 

I do understand the idea of humble-bragging in that it's in the same vein as people loudly sighing to elicit concern. It’s ultimately a cry for attention, but it doesn’t seem to be Hirasawa’s intention. Of course, since Tomoko has only seen her at her “scummiest”, it makes sense that Tomoko wouldn’t exactly see her in a positive light. 

Nah, if we’re being cynical, you’d be into shoujo manga because you’ve never been in their shoes.

It’s kind of a shame that despite having actual friends who like her for who she is, Tomoko still carries that pessimistic mentality about her public image. While she’s certainly not as self-conscious as she used to be, she hasn’t gone to the point where she can believe people could have a positive first impression of her.

Indeed, you could say that Tomoko only managed to sustain the friendships she’s made because they each have benefited her in some way. Conscious effort has never been the girl’s strong suit. 

I love how when Tomoko starts putting reality in the context of shoujo manga, her mind goes into disarray when trying to translate the multi-faceted ways of the real world into neatly summed up cliches. Goes to so that fiction should never, ever be a guidebook for reality. 

“Disgusting, disgusting.”

AWWWWWW...so she did give Yoshida a charm.

AWWWWWW...and Yoshida returned the favor with a gift of her own.

When, oh when will Tomoko finally admit that Yoshida is her friend?

One of the things I appreciate about Yoshida’s character is that they don’t ever invalidate the delinquent part of her when they emphasize her cute side. None of that “tough-girl-who’s-not-really-tough” shit happens here. Yoshida is a violent, temperamental delinquent who just happens to have an innocent heart. That thuggish side is always going be a genuine part of her personality, but it also makes her kindness much more meaningful since it requires a lot of effort on Tomoko’s part to reach it, which she ultimately succeeded in doing.

Is “Pudding-head” supposed to be a diss at Yoshida’s hairstyle? Not bad.

It isn’t always evident, but I do appreciate the fact that despite thinking Hirasawa is a potential slut, Tomoko still takes it upon herself to defend her, how little it may be. Her response is a little condescending, but then again, Tomoko tends to mildly abuse the little bit of authority that comes her way, so it makes sense character-wise.  

"DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING!”

I told myself I wasn’t going to go too deep into the semantics of this manga anymore, but...Yuri being so dismissive of non-friends by referring to them as “some” is so gloriously in-character of her.

I never thought I could say this someday but...yes.

Yes, she does.

Don’t take it personally, Hijirisawa. Yuri is not a malicious girl by any means, but unless one has managed to cut through her hard introverted exterior, Yuri just regards anybody else with massive disinterest. It’s really nothing new at this point, but viewing it from another character’s POV does highlight how Yuri’s apathy can be just as hurtful as it is endearing.  

Hmm, if what Hirasawa saying is true, then it’s safe to assume that her old friends weren’t directly bullying her and just began to ignore her out of spite. To put it rather darkly, I don’t believe Hirasawa would care so much about making female friends if they were bullying her to the point of misery. In short, it bothers her, but not debilitatingly so, which is why Tomoko has difficulty empathizing with her. 

I never get tired of Nemo’s Closed-Eyes-Angry-Smile Expression. 

And here we get the first glimpse into the Friendish Conflict between Yuri and Nemoto. From what it looks like, Nemo is going to routinely try to bait Yuri into responding in such a way that suggests a stronger friendship than they currently have. Of course, Yuri ain’t having none of that, opting to be her usual honest self and refusing to give Nemo any ammunition to trap her. As someone who finds Nemo to be more interesting when someone pushes the limits of her unmoving smile, I’m very curious to see how their dynamic will unfold. 

Uh...what? Nemoto knows her? Um...okay. 

Triggered.

I love how Nemo’s anger manifested in her usual smile wasn’t something that Tomoko alone picked up on. Apparently, it’s just as unnerving to everyone else is it is for her. At least Hirasawa didn’t have to face the devil’s spawn that is Nemo’s dull eyes of horror.

Despite how Nemo said she would start being more upfront with people, it appears that there are still times when Nemo will keep things to herself. That being, anything that would put her in a state of weakness. If she were to just come out and say that she’s bothered by how Tomoko forgot her at the entrance exam, that would mean presenting vulnerabilities that Tomoko or anyone else could use against her. For Hina Nemoto, her aggressiveness is a tool to mask her own inner turmoil. 

Hirasawa walks a very fine line with how she’s being presented here, and I believe that’s intentional. Thus far, she’s been continuously getting the short end of the stick, and a lesser manga could’ve have done this as a way to say, “it’s her own fault”. But even as she considered this, the manga doesn’t perpetuate that at all. Instead, Hirasawa is a victim of circumstance. She keeps meeting specific people in specific situations that aren’t really helpful. One of Watamote’s core themes has always been that popularity is not a good judge of character. Nice people and bad people can both be popular, and even if the rest of the cast sees her as the latter, Hirasawa is most definitely in the former. 

At least she doesn’t have the stereotypical shoujo heroine obliviousness. 

I swear, “Not that I care,” is going to be this series’ tsundere phrase.

Damn, Yuri’s insecurity levels shot through the roof. It would appear that eating lunch together is one of those small, friendship things that Yuri’s holds precious. As one of Yuri’s genuine faults, it’s definitely one that only gets improved with time. She can let Mako go off with Minami because her friendship with Mako is secure enough, but you’ve seen how frustrated Yuri got witnessing Tomoko getting all buddy-buddy with Nemo. It only makes sense that’s she be more threatened by it, even if it’s not really justified.

I feel bad I got more invested in the background conversation even though Hirasawa takes up half the panel...

A+ for effort, Tomoko.

This series has dramatic irony down pat, and by far, my favorite joke that uses this is when someone unfamiliar with Tomoko views her as this kind, pure-hearted girl when she so clearly is not. It works well because of the amount of truth it reveals. People like Tomoko tend to overcompensate their kindness when trying to avoid a situation, which is how Mako thought she was a kind person back in the toilet confrontation chapter.

This joke puts a twist on that because here, Tomoko is looking to gain something. But because she’s too straightforward to be manipulative, she simply speaks the truth, even when her inner monologue betrays her nastier intentions.  

C- for motivations. Classic Tomoko. 

Quite the turnaround, huh? The girl who would slut-shame the not-actually-sluts is now interested in their sexual escapades. I’ve mentioned it before, but I do appreciate how Tomoko no longer caring so much about how people perceive her has made her a lot more boldfaced. She doesn’t even care so much about her social standing dropping from the ire of first-years. It’s still scummy, as only Tomoko can, but at least she’s only scum where it’s already a garbage heap. 

Total annihilation in 3...2...1.

“DISGUSTING.”

As you might expect, this was a rather liberal translation that wasn’t nearly as aggressive in the original. In typical shoujo rival fashion, Ucchi said something along the lines of, “Don’t get carried away.” It can be assumed that the reader is aware of the cliche, which helps dilute the harshness and makes it a tad more comical. Of course, it’s the kind of thing that only works with Ucchi, who is pretty much a walking, yet three-dimensional punchline. You can’t help but feel bad for Hirasawa here, but at least her bully is a sexually-frustrated Emoji Girl who is too foolhardy to be truly threatening. Hardcore bullying has never been this manga’s style, and I’m sure it’ll never be.  

Can we have a Battle of the Kouhais now? Akari VS Hirasawa. 

Side note, I just started my first full-time job last week which, along with some lifestyle changes, will inevitably cause delays in my reviews. But as always, don’t worry about this series falling off the face of the Earth. I’ll be sticking with this manga to the very last chapter. Count on it.  

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #115.1

To address the elephant in the room, I was confused as to why this chapter was labeled as #115.1 instead of #116. Then I realized, it actually makes sense given that the chapters are called “mournings”. Each “mourning” takes place at different times, even if some are narratively linked, as was the Valentine’s Day arc. Here, this is a direct continuation of the previous chapter, so I like that the mangaka tied it together this way.

Anyway, onto the chapter. This looks to be shaping up as Imae’s last significant appearance. Even if her presence has been limited, I still like her, so I’m hoping that this chapter will have me appreciate her character all the more.

Spoiler alert: It did. 

Chapter 115.1: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Attend My 2nd Graduation Ceremony (Part 2)

Notice how Nemo’s keeping a straight face? She usually has a smile on by default, and it’s only when she’s seriously anxious that she lets it drop. It probably doesn’t mean much here, but something to keep in mind for future reference.

In these sorts of stories, the speech is usually something that is delivered to resonate with the main character. While the speech itself is nothing too deep, I think it’s a nice message, especially for someone like Tomoko. Looking back, Tomoko will probably be grateful that her high school life is filled with a lot of memories, however embarrassing they may be. 

As they say, better to experience failure and grow than to never experience it at all.

For all her meddling, I kind of like how Tomoko’s developments were all indirectly caused by Ogino giving her these opportunities to be friendly. I hope she sticks around for Tomoko’s last year.   

I almost didn’t recognize Yuri without her pigtails being visible. Still cute tho.

Man, it’s like the author read my mind. A lot of fans talk about Tomoko and Imae’s relationship as if the two are inseparable. When in reality, they were never really that close to begin with. I always thought that Imae’s friendliness was just a trait she offers to everyone in general. That’s not to say that their relationship is shallow or insignificant, oh no. I actually think Imae has a very important purpose in Tomoko’s story. But more on that later.

This is the kind of panel that I just love to dissect. If you know me, then you know that I love panels that tell a story without words. Given the previous context, we can easily infer that Yoshida overheard that Tomoko was gonna chicken out of talking with Imae. And in true Yoshida fashion, she ended up dragging the girl by the necktie so Tomoko can properly say goodbye. Yoshida’s entirely serious expression is what kills me though. Unlike Tomoko and Imae, who are clearly off-put by what just transpired, Yoshida finds nothing out of place by forcing Tomoko out of her comfort zone. Ignorantly good-natured Yoshida is the best. 

Did Yoshida seriously just do the “backhanded wave while walking away” thing that rivals in shōnen manga always do? As if she wasn’t lovable enough already. 

I really like the dichotomy between Tomoko and Imae in this panel. In addition to that very awkward and apparent space between them, you can see by the backgrounds just how different characters they are. On Tomoko’s side, the surroundings are full of trees and hedges and whatnot, with plenty of ins and outs to indicate Tomoko’s struggle as tries to find the right way to address Imae. On Imae’s side, everything is clear and bright, with the pentagon overlays that usually designate purity. Whereas Tomoko is closing herself off, Imae is opening herself up, which makes the latter’s subsequent action much more impactful.

This actually through me for a loop when I realized that after all this time Tomoko and Imae have never actually introduced each other until now. This is the first step in which their relationship finally comes around full circle. While Imae was always there, there was also this distance between them, as if they lived different worlds. But now that they’re exchanged identities, those worlds have opened up, and for once, they’re on an even playing field. 

And ultimately, I think the fact that Imae didn’t do anything is precisely what makes this relationship so special. Had the manga taken a more obvious route and made Imae into one of Tomoko’s closest friends a la Yuu, it probably wouldn’t have been all that sincere. Imae, with her ability to be pleasant with everyone, would likely be doing most of the legwork in making her friendship with Tomoko work. It would be one-sided, and not really healthy if Tomoko didn’t have to put any effort in herself. They just contrast too differently, to be honest. Tomoko’s current “friendships” work because not only did they have a bit of common ground, whether its being loners or liking anime, Tomoko also had to figure things out herself. She had to make adjustments in her behavior to make them work, which makes them more meaningful in my opinion.  

Other than Yuu’s “Mokocchi”, I think this the first time someone as addressed Tomoko so closely. It fits perfectly with Imae’s character. 

DAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!

And finally, I believe that Imae’s role in Watamote is that of a true guardian angel. She wasn’t meant to inject herself so forcibly into Tomoko’s life, nor was she meant to spark some change into Tomoko being a better person. What Imae did was become a goal for Tomoko. I don’t mean that Tomoko was supposed to strive to be like Imae, just to be clear. No, Tomoko could never be like Imae. But back in the early days when the world of Watamote was bleak, Imae was the one ray of sunshine in an otherwise hopeless world. She was essential because her purity signified that yes, things could get better. 

For almost two years, Imae would occasionally check up on Tomoko's progress. Always giving her just a little push when things looked too far gone. Her first hug in the mascot suit was her way of pulling Tomoko up from a distant. Now that Tomoko has more or less learned to stand on her own, Imae can finally close the gap between them, and give that second hug that Tomoko has finally deserved. 

Nothing gets past you, Imae Megumi.

Sayonara. 

From what we see here, Mako offers a tissue because she thinks Tomoko is crying, but Yuri is telling her that it’s just her allergies.

But we don’t see Tomoko’s face so...could she actually be crying. I feel torn up just thinking about it 

I wonder if Tomoko will ever realize that her snail’s pace of understanding gestures of kindness isn’t something unusual. People who aren’t accustomed to friendliness don’t always recognize it right away. I predict that in time, Tomoko will be able to show her appreciation before it’s too late. 

In the end, she does realize that while her life has certainly improved, there are still parts of herself that she still isn’t satisfied with. And I think it boils down to Tomoko viewing herself as someone others can look up to. She most definitely isn’t, as least at Imae’s level, but that’s alright. I don’t think there will ever come a moment when Tomoko is 100% happy with her life, but on the bright side, that means there will be plenty more Watamote in the future.

This graduation arc has been one giant emotional rollercoaster. If we were to get a second or third season, I think this would be the perfect place to cap things off. Whether or not that actually happens is anyone’s guess. But for now, this has been Toonyoungster, signing off until next time.