#;vaughn (ship: glasses are cool)

[lovesetssail]

tag duuump

[enigmatist17]

Sirens and Wings (Rhys Strongfork x Vaughn)

Just a fun idea inspired by this fic :)

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It started with a low ache after their first night of sex. It was rushed, and dorm beds aren’t exactly the nicest, so he thinks nothing of it. It’s strange that the pain centers on his upper back, but over time he just becomes used to it. 

It’s two years into their tenure at Hyperion when the pain fades, and he is left with something in its place. They’re a small, but clearly growing pair of what could only be described as wings. The primary color is a dark green, much like the shade of his glasses, with dark grey linings littered throughout. It’s a good four-hour panic attack before he realizes that this must remain hidden.

Vaughn isn’t the most technically sound, but he crafts a compression shirt to hide the strange new body parts.

Hyperion never notices, and his blood remains unchanged despite the yearly test. His compression shirt, despite becoming worse as his wings grow and grow, is able to trick scanners and keep bumps hidden as it is upgraded over the years. Vaughn doesn’t really know how it happened, but sticks by his closest friend and secret lover, knowing that somehow in his very bones that Rhys Strongfork is responsible. He doesn’t get a chance to ask until one fateful day, their lives change. A change for promotion, a fake vault key that leads to an actual Vault upends so much, and even brings Helios to a spectacular crash. Rhys is also taken from him, gone, and leaving a feeling in his soul that can be only described as pure sorrow and longing for his other half that had never been too far away from Vaughn since he could ever remember. No longer is Hyperion watching, and after some internal debate, Vaughn masks himself much like a bandit before ridding himself of his compression shirt. His wings are massive, all raw power as he slowly trains himself how to fly, having never had the chance before. 

A siren, one that helped kill Handsome Jack, sees him and approaches Vaughn after his recent failure. He rightly panics, backing away as the siren lifts her hands in a calming motion.

“Whoa, relax man, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Yea, excuse me for not being so relaxed. Everything and everyone has wanted to kill me since I’ve been here.” Vaughn doesn’t mean to be so snippy, but he is sore, hungry, and his wings needed a damn good preening again.

“You from Helios?” The air grows tense, and figuring that he had nothing left to lose, Vaughn nods. Lilith regards him, and after some time rolls her eyes and offers a hand. “They wouldn’t make a Protector someone who was an actually shitty guy.”

“...a what?” The term is unfamiliar, wings giving a slight ruffle when he takes the other's hand and is lifted. He feels almost like Rhys is there, but the feeling is just off-kilter that it leaves Vaughn almost upset.

“Jeeze, you Hyperion lo-nerds don’t know anything outside papers and numbers huh?” Lilith hears the soft scoff and smirks as he tucks his wings behind his back. “Trying to fly?”

“...yea, never really did it before.” Vaughn shrugged, watching as Lilith put a hand on her hip and eyed him over. Vaughn was the least intimidating one there was, yet his muscles and guarded stance showed that he was well on his way to becoming a reckoning force. “Uh, since you’re a siren and all...how did you know what I was?”

“Easy, I once had my own.” Vaughn doesn’t have to ask who it was, and Lilith doesn’t continue as she gives him a once over. “You already know who your siren is, don’t you? Because I am very surprised they’re not here with you.”

“...I don’t know where he is now...he went into the Vault of the Traveller...and now he’s gone.”

“...I feel you.” The tone in her voice makes Vaughn feel a little heard, and he offers a weak smile after removing his mask a little bit. “Well, I’m sure you’ll find him one day again...let's get you ready for that day, shall we?”

Over the next seven years, Vaughn becomes almost a myth to most bandit clans. A plundered Vladof hologram is repurposed to hide his wings in the daytime, but at night he is usually found ghosting over deserts and towns without a sound. Vaughn always wears his mask when he goes at night, and over time he is called the Wandering Soul, seeming to just fly with no destination in sight. Lilith is visited from time to time, and sometimes Ellie finds the man perched up high on some of her cars, looking up towards where Helios had been a long time ago.

His routine is interrupted when the Children of the Vault begin to spread like a disease. The hologram is ever constant now, and Vaughn snaps from being restrained when his clan wants to sell something he only views as a bad omen. It falls on deaf ears, and his hologram almost fails when he is rescued by Vault Hunters, Lilith hiding him until it is fixed. The feeling that gnawed at him only seemed to grow so much worse as months dragged by, Vaughn working hard to keep the Children from overtaking Pandora. He can hear whispers, people wondering where the Wandering Soul was, wondering if he had been taken or worse by the Children.

There are cries of joy when one night, he comes. It is the night the Raiders have returned, to mourn, and to rebuild after completing their mission from so long ago. The babble of reuniting lovers and families are startled by an excited child, pointing up as the familiar figure of Pandora flies overhead. Vaughn smiles to himself at the relief he can feel, and figures returning to his former routine will be only strengthening for the Raiders, and does so for a few weeks. 

He does wake up one morning, lying on his stomach with his wings splayed out all over the bed, and something feels strange as he looks at the wall across from him. The room feels...cool, and the crushing pressure that had been on his chest for seven years was gone. Vaughn frowns and freezes when a hand caresses one of his exposed wings. They expertly work a few feathers from their small tangle from Vaughn’s shifting at night, and Vaughn can’t help but hum at the feeling. Slowly, Vaughn unwinds as the other carefully and neatly preens the bandit, getting at some areas that had never been properly cared for over the years. 

“I’m so sorry.” The voice that settles around Vaughn’s ears is familiar and aching, and the bandit just lets out a weak whine. Vaughn doesn’t care as he merely lifts a wing to invite the other to lie beside him. A metallic arm slides around Vaughn’s waist, quickly taken up in one of Vaughn’s free hands. It’s red now, and the bandit rather likes the color as he traces the metal with a spare finger. 

“Will you stay, or will I come with you?” A kiss is placed on the back of Vaughn’s neck, and the bandit lets out a soft purr.

“We leave when you’re ready,” Rhys speaks easily and confidently, and Vaughn wonders how the change stuck after all these years. The question is shelved, eventually, the two facing and kissing away unbidden tears that were no longer held at bay. The sun rises and sets as they lie together, sometimes in silence and other times in a passionate thrall, Rhys’ left arm glowing red to match the red shine that danced over the grey and green feathers as Siren embraced Protector. Pandorians don’t question when they no longer see their Wandering Soul, each one somehow knowing they had finally sought whatever it was he was looking for the day an Atlas ship leaves orbit. Rhys still has questions, and Vaughn only has so many answers, but when they reach Promethea, it doesn’t matter.

The city, its denizens still rebuilding and starting to go back to what was the new normal, are taken aback when Vaughn takes his first flight. He isn’t alone, the bandit still masked yet not joined by another. Rhys has changed his hand to a silver one and dons a simple version of an Atlas soldier mask, red transparent wings shimmering along the black glass and numerous mirrors of countless buildings as the two fly together. He only wears a button-up shirt, his siren marks glowing through the light blue fabric, as well as the jeans he wears, hand often being held by the bandit. Promethea is abuzz the next morning, unaware the two watched high above.

Vaughn doesn’t care much, just tucking Rhys under his wing and drawing him close. For once, finally, all was well, and he could finally relax.

[takeanotherpieceofmyhartwin]

What I want to know is how you think Eggsy's and Tilde's relationship is a good one. I mean she manipulates him into proposing through guilt and even though she clearly said that she's not cool with him sleeping with people for work he still ends up fingering Clara. It's dangerous to think there's anything even remotely healthy in that relationship. Not to mention flat out lying to her in order to impress her parents. Fucking heterosexuals.

(2/2) I...wasn't actually calling you a heterosexual. ('fucking heterosexualS... general term). I was implying the fact that heterosexuals somehow find shit like that to be healthy and normal. Again. Not you. People who think a relationship like Tilde and Eggsy's is healthy and acceptable. But sure, take it as you will.

I like how you ignored like, 90% of the relationship to focus on the one bad scene of their relationship. (Also spoilers this way come, I’ve tagged it as such but there’s spoilers in the ask already so :/)

I’m not going to act like Eggsy/Tilde is a 100% normal and healthy relationship.

(I also don’t consider Hartwin a normal and healthy relationship as it inherently stems from some form of hero worship, a power imbalance, and, sometimes, a savior complex (when Harry “saves” Eggsy.) I still ship it anyway.)

Tilde and Eggsy’s relationship comes from a last ditch save-the-world moment where Eggsy is saving the world (anyway) and Tilde finds herself offering an additional incentive in the form of bum sex. He saves the world, they have sex, and that’s all we know from the first movie.

There’s about a year between Secret Service and the Golden Circle. 

In that year, Eggsy and Tilde have been in a relationship where he is very aware that she is a Princess and she’s aware of the fact that he’s a spy.

She hangs out with his friends (and banters with Eggsy’s friends), she loves his dog, she loves Eggsy, she knows and respects the place Harry has/had in Eggsy’s life, and she shows that she wants Eggsy and her family to get along.

He is shown to love her in return, appreciate her, and takes comfort in her presence. And he doesn’t lie to her to impress her parents, I’m pretty sure she’s smarter than that. She knows he’s a spy for gods sake. He’s communicated with Merlin through the glasses in front of her before. 

Before he goes to Glastonbury, it’s alluded to that Eggsy doesn’t often get to spend a lot of time with Tilde due to his occupation as a spy. Makes sense. She wants to spend more time with him and she’s a little lonely and neglected.

They’ve also clearly never discussed boundaries in regards to the possibility of a honeypot mission. That’s a mistake on both their parts.

Now, Eggsy didn’t go into Glastonbury knowing it’s a honeypot. He learns that after the fact, right before he has to approach Clara, and therefore has no time to call Tilde until right before the down and dirty.

Yes, maybe it’s shitty that Tilde sprung the whole “is that a proposal?” on Eggsy. I’m not saying that was a shitty thing to do.

But as far as Tilde knows, Eggsy knew this was a honeypot all along and didn’t tell her ahead of time. So as far as she knows, he tells her he has a mission and surprise! He’s got to sleep with someone to do it, totally slipped his mind. On top of that, she hasn’t been seeing him a lot lately and she’s already upset with that.

She’s feeling betrayed, Eggsy’s feeling guilty, it’s not a good scene for either of them. But he doesn’t get “trapped” in a proposal. He doesn’t agree to it, hence her hanging up and ghosting him.

He still fingers Clara because that’s his damn mission. He was going to back out completely until he saw Clara was a part of the Golden Circle, and was he supposed to get rid of their only connection to find them? The lives of millions were prioritized over his relationship in that moment.

Tilde ghosts Eggsy, which is shitty and immature, but I’m also mostly sure that was just a writing decision on Vaughn’s part to capitalize on the whole “wow Tilde is so emotionally compromised she does drugs oh my godddd.” 

What a stupid part of the plot.

Eggsy’s love for Tilde re-emphasizing his need to save the world, classic action movie saving love interest thing here, nothing to see, carry on. It’s a standard trope.

And then the end, the wedding. Time has passed between Eggsy saving the world, again, and the wedding. Those things take time to plan, especially with royalty involved. So at the earliest they’ve had months to work things out. And clearly, after working things out, they still made the decision to get married. 

Maybe the book has more answers, I haven’t read it yet, but based on the movie, it’s not like Tilde and Eggsy have a toxic relationship. It’s a standard spy-love interest relationship with a bumpy moment in the middle.

It’s not 100% healthy or whatever, but it’s not like it’s the worst fucking thing in the world. 

And thinking so doesn’t make me a heterosexual.

[visionssofgideon]

In-depth Reflection on Kingsman: The Golden Circle (Spoilers)

FUCKING SPECTACULAR, EH!

After so much waiting, watching new promos and trailers everyday, I watched Kingsman: The Golden Circle today! The sequel to my favorite movie of all time! And BOY, I have so many thoughts. I am going to try to go as in-depth as I can, and as much in order as I can but BEWARE this is nearly a shit post with me pouring all of my feelings into it and will have random points all over the place, but mainly is me trying to process everything, this is A LOT (it’s 3k) and basically a summary of the movie 

SPOILER ALERT!!! OBVIOUSLY LOL okAY LET’S GO

They started off the fucking MOVIE with Take me Home, Country Roads on a bagpipe FUCK

FUCK YEAH EGGSY UNWIN! GARY UNWIN! MY MAN! MY DUDE! MY SON! YOU LOOK SO FINE IN THAT SUIT, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR DECEASED HUSBAND shit too soon

IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN A MINUTE CHARLIE GET THE FUCK OUT IDC HOW YOU SURVIVED GO AWAY also ALL THESE CARS OH FUCK IS THIS ALL POPPY! Anyways Yes yes yes EPIC drifting cab scene! Eggsy has grown so much yeah boy you kick his ass! I love this drifting cab scene, they built a custom cab that could drift how amazing is that! But oh nooo, ugh Charlie’s stupid arm made the poisonous blade kill the driver :(

Eggsy can hold his breath because he was training for the marines but also throwback to his training when he was the only one that was smart enough to see the two-way mirror! The police were like yOu wOt m8 @ Eggsy but iT’S OKAY there’s a secret Kingsman entrance under the lake! By the way HI MERLIN I LOVE YOU YOU SCOTTISH MAN but Eggsy you are a BRAVE man for jumping into shit! On a side not, the hand just hacked into Kingsman holy shite

HI TILDE agh prefer Eggsy with the love of his life, Harry Hart, but you DAMN brave for wanting to kiss a shit-covered Eggsy! Also HI JB YOU’VE GROWN SO MUCH! But wait, EGGSY MOVED INTO HARRY’S HOUSE! Just like the fanfics said! That makes me so happy

Cool transition from a bag of pot to Cambodia! Poppy is FUCKING CRAZY, actual psychopath, I mean cannibalistic burgers, delicious! Those dogs are cool, more realistic than other movies, but rip people who are put through the shredder! Ngl that burger looks pretty good

AW TILDE TRYING TO TEACH EGGSY MANNERS BUT FUCK HERE IS THE DELETED HARTWIN BREAKFAST SCENE FROM TSS! THE MYTHICAL BREAKFAST SCENE IS REAL! Eggsy paying close attention to his lover Harry Hart is

The fact that Eggsy has to hold back tears when simply thinking of Harry is so :( And he even asks Mr. Pickles, because he remembers Harry’s love for him. Eggsy Unwin was in love with Harry Hart, okay.

“Galahad, late again” HAHA just like Harry used to be! Hi off-brand Michael Caine-looking Arthur! ROXY MORTON IS MY GIRLFRIEND HI I LOVE YOU OKAY I KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN BUT I LOVE YOU! She looks so fly, so does Eggsy and Merlin! Also bye @Charlie I can’t believe he survived armless and now works for the craziest person ever!

Honestly rip this guy who just got the golden circle tat and is eating his friend in the form of a burger which btw looks pretty good! Welcome to hell!

Oh nice, the dinner scene! Eggsy is such a gentleman but he actually loves Tilde? He’s actually doing this wow and it’s all because Roxy Morton aka my gf is helping him out! Of course he doesn’t know about spanish painter Frida Kahlo! Roxy ugh ur da best from galahad, and roxy asking best friend or best agent? Both ;) AGH also NICE Eggsy started his own wall like Harry’s of the menial news! UGH Eggsy’s friend is so dumb what is he DOING! AHHHH HAND GRENADE and Eggsy cursing 100x in front of Tilde’s parents

NO NO NO BOMBING EGGSY’S PLACE! Everything is gone ALL OF HARRY’S STUFF! NO JB NONO EGGSY’S FRIEND! WHAT THE WHERE DID THESE MISSILES COME FROM oh fucking POPPY

Roxy knew, she knew, she even tried to escape but… Roxy Morton! MATTHEW VAUGHN I am utterly disgusted and disheartened! Roxy had so much potential, and remaining in a platonic relationship with Eggsy, their friendship was amazing! She was a brilliant agent, not to mention um the only female!? DENIAL! DENIAL! Roxy survived, she tried escaping, so she survived! WE WILL SEE ROXY MORTON IN THE THIRD KINGSMAN MOVIE OKAY

Arthur is dead, all the Kingsman including Percival are dead… Poppy is absolutely crazy, and is giving Charlie a new arm! God, from the trailer, the crazy slingshot arm! Agh no no no this won’t be good…

Eggsy, all alone, in despair. And here go Merlin and Eggsy blaming each other, for possible betrayal! And god Eggsy, Eggsy telling it like it is, everybody is dead, JB, Roxy, his friend, everybody… but Merlin told him to not shed a tear, to hold in emotion, as if he has done this before.

Thus, the doomsday protocol ensues- shopping, drinking. Statesman whiskey! Drinking to everybody! Drink to Scottland! Haha, nice try @ drunk!Merlin! But drunk Eggsy slurring his words and Merlin being an absolute mess and crying is just…. Somebody please get Merlin Kentucky fried chicken, please

HAHA that part of Merlin breaking in, opening the barrel! Hello CHANNING TATUM! Agent Teqila HAHA okay! That fighting was great, wow like being an American for once! WOW please don’t set their balls on fire, that would not be good! HAHA Yeah Tequila, go fuck yourself! 

WAIT BUT, HARRY HART IS ALIVE! HARRY HART, SHAVING, BEAUTIFUL MALE SPECIMAN, HARRY HART! HARRY FUCKING HART! EGGSY UNWIN’S SOULMATE! He is alive, and beautiful as ever! Yes Eggsy, we understand, “Fuck me” as in you love Harry Hart we get it! Eggsy and Merlin yelling, but alas, a two-way mirror! YAY GINGER ALE TO THE RESCUE LOVE YOU HALLE BERRY MY QUEEN

Harry looks all smiley! All happy! But he doesn’t know… I predicted this, his amnesia :( Please remember bby! Eggsy is all frustrated, but look at Harry focusing on his butterflies! YES YES THE STATESMAN IN KENTUCKY SAVED HARRY wow cool technology for being American, I would like to thank Ginger! Unfortunately, Harry reverted to his old self. Before kingsman or army, he was a lover of butterflies. Wow. Before being in the army, a kingsman agent, he was a lepidopterist

ELTON JOHN, THE BEST PART OF THIS MOVIE POSSIBLY! Telling it to Poppy as it should be!

HAHA hello champ! Yay jeff bridges! What a man, he seems so chill, I want to have a conversation with him! Champ>>>>>Arthur. Will never get over the fact that the Kingsman are knights of the round table, galahad, lancelot, percival… the statesman are fckuing alcoholic beverages how American sigh,,,,, also Whiskey, hi pedro pascal!

Harry Hart reading his dear book about butterflies! No, they’re putting him through training again to jog his memory! But poor Harry is struggling no no my bby please stop! Btw Colin Firth is the best actor ever okay thanks! Agh this scene is breaking my heart :(((( Harry’s trying to hard to remember, Merlin is trying so much, but Harry’s just here soaking wet :(((

AW JB 2.0 thanks @tilde aw okay people get people they love dogs to help them…. Keep that in mind for later for what I KNOW is coming up!

Lol mini condom and penis joke bc haha America sucks! Look Charlie’s gf who Eggsy will have to get to for their mucus membrane because the trackers needs to be… Haha Whiskey “tinder-what?” me!

BLUE VEIN shit… tequila come on mate! So sugar is 10000x worse than any drug rip :( Elton John is great I love him! Poppy is crazy pt. 2, those dogs are scary, please no! Hey, Elton is friend hell yeah!

Ahhh, can I just say, even though I don’t want Eggsy with Tilde, he is such a decent man to tell her what he is going to do! Despite knowing she’s going to be mad! NO PROPOSAL PLEASE but still, Eggsy Unwin is a good man that is all I have to say! Started from the bottom (literally) now we’re here! Lol @Tilde he actually loves Harry Hart! Anyways, time to travel through the vagina! Matthew Sexist Vaughn everybody! LOL @Merlin being uncomfortable and Ginger being total 100% chill, they are perfect for each other! i ship

HI HARRY! Oh god is this the maggot butterfly scene? YES IT IS! oh fuck fuck fuck. Okay can I say, Harry Hart is so smiley, he loves talking about butterflies. THIS SCENE GOD yes Harry pin Eggsy against the wall! Btw my FAVORITE thing is when Harry says “Perhaps you mean larvae” and smiles. Such a sweet smile! And the smiles are sad at the same time, because he doesn’t know who Eggsy is! And now Eggsy is sad drinking, trying not to think about the old Harry, trying to deal with the whole Tilde situation. God, the scenes between Harry and Eggsy are making me so elated with both joy and sorrow, because Hartwin. BUT THE PUPPY! Eggsy looked up pet store and

OH MY GOD MR. PICKLES 2.0! FAVORITE SCENE EVER! Ahhh Harry smiling, or rather Colin smiling at the pupper, the most precious thing! Young, non-agent Harry Hart is innocent and will love and cherish a puppy. BUT EGGSY, stop torturing him! Eggsy is trying so hard to jog Harry’s memory, but it’s so sad! Also, Colin Firth’s acting in this scene, is just fantastic! Absolutely amazing, to see the contrast! Young Harry Hart or CGId Colin Firth is the sweetest thing, to see his love Mr. Pickles. Because truly, Mr. Pickles was Harry Hart’s pressure point. Saying that Harry would never hurt a puppy, it was a blank, and HARRY IS BACK! Harry Hart, the agent, the man who knew he was an agent, but also a man. A man with feelings, with love, with innocence! No more Eggy, hello Eggsy, your husband! GOSH, THE HUG! Eggsy Unwin on his tippy toes hugging his soulmate Harry Hart and the puppy he got him! YES, remember how Tilde got Eggsy a puppy to help him because she loved him. If you love somebody and get them a puppy, then you know that Eggsy Unwin is deeply in love with Harry Hart. I truly think this is it. Hartwin confirmed #nice

BAR NICE yay Harry is back! Still can’t believe! OH GOD Eggsy holding back tears seeing his eye, but Harry completely and undoubtedly ROCKING those eyepatch-glasses like he was meant to! Okay, who is this redneck guy calling Harry the f-word. Please, Harry Hart may be the gayest man alive (in TSS with Dean’s guy saying that there’s “another rent boy around the corner” triggering Harry just like the f-word did, as well as his smirk in TSS when saying “my black jewish boyfriend” HAHA) but this is just rude. And Harry can’t aim because his depth perception is 100x worse than before now :( Stop punching Harry my bby! #StopHurtingHarryHart2k17! Manners DO Maketh Man, but Harry still needs to relearn! Well Whiskey going to whip them into shape, Diana Prince 2.0? That’s a REALLY GOOD FIGHT SCENE! Wow Southerners are not like what I expected! I hope Harry gets better soon

UGH Poppy is crazy pt. 3! This disease is crazy, but there is Elton John to save the day! ELTON YOU DA MAN! Anyways, yikes! DANCING HHAHA, Tequila could bust some dank moves! Anyways the world is going crazy, but what else is new? OH the US president is a dick… Trump, is that you? Low-key about Trump even though this finished filming before he became president! See, the president here is what I think of when I think of Southerners.

Okay so they’re going to Italy! And Eggsy is not going without Harry! Aw, look at my sons who are so in love with each other! Nice outfits boy! Aw, Harry can’t do too much field work because he’s still recuperating :( He couldn’t aim his watch thing, but a bang will do! BTW Colin actually knows Italian, so this is perfect! HAHA River! Lol I hate @Charlie but SHIT his gf got caught hahahah yikes… Oh no Harry is hallucinating again! And here come a crazy ride, which Pedro and Taron actually felt because Matthew Vaughn wants to make everything as realistic as possible! Because Matthew Vaughn is the devil!! Okay this is hella intense for not being a fight scene but also funny because of them yelling! Lol they stopped because of Eggsy pulling the parachute (tb to TSS) but it’s an American flag wow how American! And the old man said that was the best shit he’s had in a while, so I guessed it all worked out!

Okay cabin scene, Eggsy greets his bf again yay but THERE ARE SHOOTERS SHIT also nice @whiskey really cool fight scene and DIANA PRINCE 2.0! Okay Harry just shot Whiskey and oh no Eggsy don’t blame yourself! It’s not your fault, really it’s not! But don’t yell at Harry, he just saved your life with that cologne lmao… Okay I don’t like Eggsy being mad at Harry :( OH SHIT WUDDUP CHARLIE JUST BLEW UP HIS GF yikes sucks. Btw Merlin and Ginger working together is amazing, they are a new ship!

The president sucks pt. 2 (again, Trump?) Wow this human in cage thing is crazy, dystopian shit, actual yikes! Not to mention everybody has the “dancing disease” lmao! Look, merlehad! Haha so apparently Harry should know Merlin’s favorite singer but he doesn”t rip

Thought the lawyer was Merlin ngl

Ugh Eggsy is sad, Harry make him feel better! MARTINIS! Oh shit, this is going to be emotional. Eggsy talking about Tilde to Harry, but Harry loves him. And god, talking about when he was shot by Valentine. Not thinking of anything, anybody, because he never loved anybody… Brings me back to when he wanted to go back to his mother while he still had amnesia, who most likely passed away :( Please Harry Hart, I know you love Eggsy. Somebody love him. He says love is “worth living for”, and he lived for Eggsy.. WHAT IF HE thought of Eggsy when he was dying, but he didn’t say anything here because Eggsy had just told him that he has a gf SHIT SHIT SHIT no no please hartwin no 

Aw sorry Whiskey :( He lost his gf, but now he is vengeful… wow okay this is a lot

MERLIN IN A KINGSMAN SUIT! YES MERLIN, I LOVE YOU, YES YES YOU LOOK SO FINE!  And the machete is his haha! Wow a baseball and bat, so American.

And so we are here, Cambodia, and SHIT LAND MINE. No no no no, this is where it happens. WHY DOESN’T THE FROZEN THING HAVE MORE THAN 1 USE what kind of faulty fucking kingsman/statesman shit is that if it only has 1 use WHY DIDN’T YOU CARRY MORE MERLIN WHY YOU’RE SO STUPID NO SORRY YOU’RE NOT STUPID ILY BUT WHY   :(((( Merlin sacrificing himself for Harry and Eggsy, because he is fully devoted to Kingsman. Eggsy trying to hold back emotion, but Harry and Merlin fully knowing what being a Kingsman is. “No time for emotion” FUCK

OH GOD.TAKE ME HOME, COUNTRY ROADS! Merlin singing in his scottish accent, yelling out like he was meant to. God, why. Merlin, such a brilliant man, WHY. And he’s distracting Poppy’s men to save Eggsy and Harry! Okay, DENIAL! NO. Did you HEAR that last note?! Merlin braced himself and closed his eyes, but he might’ve not died! Merlin, Hamish, survived! His legs may have been blown off, but we will see him in the third movie, legless or not! I refuse to believe Merlin is dead.

Elton John as low-key performer/drag queen is my FAVORITE! It’s Wednesday FUCK YEAH! Oh, Eggsy and Harry look so vengeful, and they are perfect fighting together! Absolutely amazing! Eggsy taking Harry’s blind side is amazing, and their fighting impeccable. THE BITCH IS BACK ON THE MOVIE THEATER, YES INDEED! ELTON JOHN JUST HIT A MAN I LOVE HIM! Harry Hart, Eggsy Unwin, spy husbands fighting side by side!

Okay, bye @ dogs! ! WOW ELTON JOHN IS A FRIEND YES HAHA, okay low-key thought Elton John was going to say “If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole” to be Harry’s Tilde but he said “you can get backstage passes” which is the same thing OKAY GOD ELTON JOHN X HARRY HART NEW SHIP?? YES YAY wow he blew a kiss to him I’m dead this is so gay I love it harry hart fucked elton john 

Charlie can go die okay thanks bye. Okay the one arm thing is dumb, Eggsy you have an advantage use both arms lol, anyways YES FOR MERLIN, REMEMBER MERLIN EGGSY!

Okay last fights. Poppy is crazy pt. final!  Julianne Moore’s acting is AMAZING, really great! But um, viva las vegans? That’s dumb. Okay anyways OH SHIT BOI WHISKEY Harry Hart knew it! FINAL FIGHT SCENE and this is amazing! Absolutely amazing fight scene of spy husbands vs. Wonder Woman 2.0! Whiskey lost somebody because of drug addicts, man wow Kingsman really focuses on real issues, like the environment and drug addiction, but the villains are some crazy people! 

Okay, Harry Hart is absolutely amazing, and he can fight amazingly now! Also, Colin Firth doing most of his stunts is AMAZING! Still can’t get the fact that Eggsy fit through the lasso! This is like the church scene in TSS and I love it! Epic fighting scenes with gore x rock music is A+!

YAY WORLD SAVED! Everybody is back! And the president sucks, so YAY FEMALE PRESIDENT! I think this is @ the American govt. and Trump LOL wow I love this movie.

SCOTLAND WINE BY KINGSMAN FUCK… Rest in peace Merlin :(

YES, GINGER IS FIELD AGENT! Okay besides the Roxy thing and tracker going inside vagine thing, this is a feminist movie! Female president, female statesman agent! FUCK YEAH!

Harry Hart and Eggsy Unwin, once again together… but Eggsy is getting married which, let’s not think about. MIRROR SCENE PARALLEL TO TSS AHH I want Harry Hart and Eggsy Unwin to love each other, to cherish each other, even if Eggsy doesn’t know “what the fuck is going on.” Alas, denial is key. 

FINALLLY WE SEE EGGSY’S MUM WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WHOLE “come live with me” fiasco from TSS HMM ALSO WHERE IS DAISY @ Matthew Vaughn you owe us

Colin Firth’s monologue as Harry Hart made me realize, that I love Kingsman and will never get over it. It is only the beginning, and I can’t wait for more. This had so much emotion, despite it being so intense. RIP Kingsman agents, JB, Roxy, Merlin. Harry Hart, I love you. Hartwin, I will NEVER give up on you.

Oh boi Tequila is kingsman???? damn okay nice hat boi

FUCK

I’m going to cry at 2 am while singing Take Me Home, Country Roads (update: I DID CRY AT 2 AM)

F U C K !

If you read until the end, you are a TRUE Kingsman fan and true mutual/reader. Nice to know there are others out there who are just as crazy as me, but what can you do when you have such an amazing movie! 

[oodlyenough]

fic: asymmetry

There are exactly two people left who lived through the most intense month of Sasha’s life with her. That one of them happens to be her ex-fake-boyfriend is less than ideal. Which fits right into Sasha’s less-than-ideal lifetime.

~3k. Mostly a Sasha character study, but with a lot of emphasis is on her relationships with August, Rhys and Fiona. Set mid-episode 5, several months after Helios falling but pre-getting the band back together. Also on AO3.

Notes: You don't have to have read the thing with feathers, which follows Fiona and Sasha immediately after Gortys is destroyed, but I wrote this one with that one in mind and it might clear up a question or two about what Fiona's up to.

The Purple Skag is almost empty when Sasha arrives. Someone in the booth looks to be asleep, and a regular she recognizes is slouched over his table in the corner.

And then there’s August, wiping down the bar.

He freezes when he sees her, and Sasha puts on a casual smile, gesturing over her shoulder to the door.

“Tector let me in,” she says, “so either you forgot to tell him I was banned for life, or you really need to find a new bouncer.”

She keeps it as light as she can, arms folded, her weight shifted to one leg, a friendly challenge in her voice. But August watches her over the bar, stony-faced, just long enough to let her squirm.

Then he shakes his head. “Never told him that. Didn’t really think I’d have to. Didn’t think you’d show your face again.” Then, with a half-shrug, “What do you want?”

It’s not exactly an olive branch—more of a twig, maybe—but she’ll take it. She crosses to the bar, relaxing as she walks.

“Just a drink.” Before he can object, she pulls some cash from her pocket. “I can pay.”

He looks her up and down in a way that makes her feel more exposed than really makes any sense, and then he heaves a sigh.

“It’s on the house,” he grumbles, sounding more irritated with himself than with her, which heartens her. He points a firm finger towards her. “Just the first one.”

She shoots him a winning smile and tucks the cash back into her pocket. “Thanks, August.”

He grunts.

Sasha settles herself onto a stool as August pours her a pint. It’s weird to be back in the Purple Skag; for a few months she’d all but lived here, yet this is the first time she’s really herself inside these walls. You’re not supposed to revisit marks. Felix would have a conniption.

Fucking Felix.

“So.” August slams her drink onto the counter like he’s making a point, then slides it out to her. “What’re you really here for?”

“Just wanted a drink, like I said. Honest.” But his gaze is withering, so she shrugs as she pulls the glass closer. “And… to see a familiar face, I guess. Other than my sister’s.”

It’s the truth, and she tries to let him know that by holding his gaze, steady and plain. Sasha’s social circle has always been laughably small, but its sudden expansion followed by its even more sudden collapse has thrown off her equilibrium.

There are exactly two people left who lived through the most intense month of Sasha’s life with her. That one of them happens to be her ex-fake-boyfriend is less than ideal.

Which fits right into Sasha’s less-than-ideal lifetime.

August studies her for another long second before nodding, satisfied.

“You look different,” he points out.

“Keen observational skills,” she jokes, but it falls flat, so she shrugs. “Wanted a change. Made some new clothes. Think I might get a haircut, too.” She strikes a pose on her stool, one hand on her hip. “You like it?”

August only grunts again. Sasha takes that as an affirmation and tries her drink. He’s given her the good stuff—or at least what passes for the good stuff at the Skag—so she may as well savour it.

He makes no effort to start a conversation. Sasha learned some time ago that with August this could mean any number of things: a cold shoulder, a bad mood, or lingering resentment, sure, or simply nothing to say. He’s not much of a talker.

So she takes it upon herself. “How’s business?”

“Dude in the booth’s on his sixth beer.”

“He’s asleep.”

“Yeah, and I’m charging him for a new drink every half hour,” says August. Then he shrugs, and Sasha sees his posture change. “It’s been quieter. Ma’s people used to stop by a lot, and now…” He catches himself and shoots her a defensive look. “Not that I’d asked her to send them, or anything. They just—”

“Right,” she agrees quickly, hoping to spare his dignity. She shifts on her stool and frowns sympathetically. “I’m sorry about Vallory.”

“No, you’re not.”

The look he gives her isn’t angry, but it is uncompromising, and Sasha runs her thumb along the rim of her pint glass.

“No, I’m not,” she admits. “She forced us into a suicide mission that got my friends killed.” She presses down on the glass until her thumb starts to hurt from the pressure, closes her eyes, and pushes out a breath before meeting his gaze. “But... I am sorry you lost someone.”

That seems to be enough; August inclines his chin in a curt but appreciative nod.

“Guess that means you never found them, then,” he says. “Those Hyperion guys.”

Sasha swirls her glass, watching the reflected light dance around the surface of the drink. Not trusting her voice to stay steady, she shakes her head.

“The short one, Van—”

“Vaughn.”

“Yeah, him. He got away from Ma’s people. Tougher than he looks.” August shrugs. “Might be all right.”

She wants to believe him. The truth is she never knew Vaughn very well; when he wasn’t paralyzed and confined to groans, he’d spent most of his time separated from Sasha. The bulk of what she knows is secondhand, recreated through Rhys’ various affectionate anecdotes. It’s possible he has some hidden depths, and nice to imagine that after giving Finch and Kroger the slip, Vaughn beat the odds.

Sasha’s not a glass-half-full kind of person.

“Yeah,” she says vaguely, still staring at her drink. “Maybe.”

“And the skinny robot—”

“Rhys,” she corrects, looking up to scowl. “I know you know his name.”

“Right, Rhys—”

“Was on Helios when it crashed. So.”

It’s more irritable than August deserves for what is probably just an attempt at optimism, but there’s no chain of events August can dream up that Sasha hasn’t already thought of and dismissed. Even in the best-case scenario where Rhys somehow made it off Helios alive, he’s made no attempt to contact her, a possibility which comes with its own brand of hurt. Whatever had happened, in the end the truth is this: she hasn’t heard a word from Rhys since he told her, Fiona and Gortys to head for the ship. A Hyperion stooge, risking his life to save a couple of Pandoran grifters.

Who’d’ve thought.

“Sorry,” says August, and she smiles humourlessly.

“No, you’re not.”

“Well, yeah, not really, but... you know. What you said.” He’s quiet for a second, but she can see him debating with himself. Just before she can tell him to spit it out, he says, “I know you two had a… thing.”

“What?” She’s too distracted by the spike in her heart rate to register his unwarranted jealousy. “No, we didn’t. There was no ‘thing’.”

“You’re wearing his pants.”

“No I’m not, these are—these are new. These are mine. I made these.”

“Yeah. And they look just like his.”

Sasha blinks down at her own lap, like she’s forgotten what she’s wearing. Her cheeks feel warm. “I mean I—I guess they do. Sort of. A little.” Then she looks up at August with an innocent shrug. “I... didn’t notice.”

He rolls his eyes. “If you’re gonna lie to me, at least do it better than that.”

Sasha looks away without replying, her one pinstriped knee bouncing up and down on the rung of the barstool. She doesn’t like to think about Rhys, about the secrets he kept or the stupid flower he picked for her or all the things that might have happened to him after she left Helios. It makes her feel like there’s a rakk hive sitting on her chest.

She often wonders what the last thing she said to him was. She hopes it was something kind, something grateful, something worth the sacrifice he was about to make. More likely, she suspects it was something terse and impatient, a product of her own fear. That she can’t remember at all makes her nauseous.

“Rhys is just a friend. Was just a friend.” It feels like not like a lie but like resignation. “There wasn’t time for anything else. Maybe if...” She shakes her head and knocks back a quick swig of her drink. “Doesn’t matter. He’s gone. And so is Vaughn. And Loader Bot, and Gortys… all of them.”

A minute of painful silence creeps by, and Sasha begins to wonder if the complimentary drink is really worth the cost of, well, this: every regret she’s ever had in her life, lurking in the shadows of the Skag.

August breaks with tradition and breaks the silence first. He leans his elbows on the bar, his head level with hers. “Why are you really here, Sash?”

“Fiona and I have been fighting. She’s real big on the Vault Hunting thing and I… kinda never wanna see another Vault in my life.” With a rueful smile, Sasha takes a drink. “She told me she was going to investigate some stupid clue about some stupid key and I, uh, may have told her that if she wants to get her skull crushed by a giant alien monster that’s her problem, and... then I stormed out of the house to come here.”

It sounds silly and melodramatic to say out loud, and she avoids August’s eye. The thing is, Sasha gets it. Vault Hunting is Fiona’s lemonade, a desperate attempt to squeeze meaning and purpose from the Hyperion-yellow lemons they’d been given. She wants to make it worth something, wants a calling that can justify what they went through. If they’re Vault Hunters, all of this becomes a cool origin story rather than just the latest shitty thing Pandora’s done to them.

Sasha doesn’t want an origin story. Sasha wants to lick her wounds and give up.

August’s expression is unsympathetic. “You know you two don’t have to do the same thing all the time, right?”

“Gee, thanks.” Sasha glares, but it melts into something more pitiful as she peers down at her reflection in her drink. “I know we don’t. But it’s not that easy. We both need money. And…” She blows out a breath that sends ripples through her beer. “Fi’s all I have.”

“She doesn’t have to be.”

She can feel him staring but pretends she can’t, pretends she doesn’t know what he’s implying, pretends she isn’t tempted. Chewing her lip, she keeps her eyes trained on her drink as she says, “I don’t have a very good track record with anyone else.”

When she lifts her head, August is leaning back against the bar rail, arms folded across his chest. Sasha finds herself studying his stomach, trying to picture the scar his bullet wound must have left behind.

“Well,” he says, “if you need money, you could start working here again. Fewer people shooting at you.”

She meets his eyes at last, smiling wryly. “Still some, though?”

“Well, yeah. It’s Pandora.”

She’s avoiding an answer, and she knows it. She tilts her head. “Thought business was down.”

“Nothing better for business than a pretty girl behind the bar.”

It’s been a long time since she heard that low note in his voice, but it’s familiar, and heat pools in her cheeks anyway. There’s something about August that’s hard to shake.

He’s not the first mark to get under her skin. It happens sometimes, more often than it should, more often than she’d like to admit. Fiona gives her hell for it, but Felix used to say it’s what makes Sasha so effective at what she does—that people can feel the morsel of genuine connection and they latch onto it, trust her because of it.

He was probably full of shit, she realizes. Just trying to make her feel better about not being as good a con as Fiona. But maybe it explains how she got her hooks so deep into August that even now they have difficulty prying themselves apart.

Watching him now, she vividly remembers how it feels, working with him, sleeping with him, pretending to love him. Slipping back into the role would be like muscle memory. She already knows the staging: hop the bar, grab his jacket, kiss him rough, bite his lip the way she knows he likes.

It wouldn’t be happiness, but it would be a good facsimile. She thinks she could live in the lie for a while.

“August…” she starts, then stops. She can’t think of what to say.

There are many loose threads in Sasha’s life, but August is the only one she can still touch, the one she can tug and tug and tug until it all frays and unravels.

August pushes himself up out of his lean and walks back over to her, so close she really could kiss him. The intensity in his blue eyes is intimidating, but she doesn’t look away.

She swallows.

The Sasha that August thinks he loved was a carefully crafted fiction, all her rough edges sandpapered away for easy consumption. The real Sasha is a more bitter pill to swallow. Quick to anger and slow to trust. Crueler than she means to be and never as kind as she’d like to be. Never willing to give anyone the benefit of the doubt.

She doesn’t believe August would feel the same about the real deal as he did about the character she created. On her worst days, she’s not sure anyone would.

But they’re similar enough, the two of them, at their core: guarded and suspicious, each with plenty of regrets to their name. Riddled with the sort of scars that growing up on Pandora gives you.

“Sasha.” It sounds like a dare. August’s hand creeps across the countertop towards hers, inch by inch. There’s a split second of hesitation, of indecision, her heart in her throat, before—

Finally she breaks eye contact, looks down, studies her own lap again, the black fabric with turquoise detailing. She pulls her hand away, wiping her clammy palm on her pinstriped pant leg.

She wants a change, she reminds herself. A fresh start.

All she’ll get with August is a repeating pattern.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she says gently.

August’s shadow disappears from the countertop as he steps back, and she forces herself to meet his eyes.

“Yeah.” His expression is hard to read—sad, she thinks, but relieved, too. “Probably not.”

Sasha sits up straight, takes a breath, and tips back what’s left in her cup.

“Thanks.” She fishes a bill out of her pocket and sets it on the counter. “For the drink.”

August eyes her money, making no move to take it, but no move to reject it, either.

“Yeah,” he says. He maintains the distance between them but gives her one final approving nod. “You take care, Sash.”

She slides off the stool and back to her feet. The smile on her lips is subdued, a little sad, and completely authentic.

“See you around, August.”

As she leaves the Purple Skag, she catches her reflection in the window and reaches up to touch her hair.

Yeah, she thinks, definitely time for a change.

Fiona’s still out when Sasha gets back, chasing after a Vault Key that’s probably about as real as Felix’s. Sasha preoccupies herself with her hair and tries not to worry. There aren’t many people more capable of taking care of themselves than her big sister.

Still, though. Pandora and Vault Hunting are a dangerous combination.

Three days, one new set of bangs, and zero calls later, Sasha’s about ready to tear out her brand new haircut when Fiona finally gets in touch.

“Where the hell are you?” Sasha demands without introduction, practically yelling over the line. “Are you okay?”

“Ha. Uh. Yeah. Funny story. Listen, I’m fine, but I need your help with something.”

Fiona’s voice sounds weird, and Sasha can’t pin down if it’s good-weird or bad-weird. “If this is about a Vault—”

“It’s not... just about a Vault,” says Fiona, and Sasha rolls her eyes so hard it’s almost painful.

“I swear to God, Fi—”

“Plus I’ve got a surprise for you. You’ll love it.”

That sounds more like Fiona, teasing and smug, and Sasha finds herself grinning reluctantly. “Oh really?”

“Promise.” Sasha can tell from the tone of it that Fiona’s grinning, too. “So, how soon can you make it to the Helios crash site?”

[camorrsthorn]

Hi, I'm kinda new here, and so I mostly have just seen the art of your OCs? (Which is awesome, btw.) But I was wondering if you could give, like, a basic outline of who they are and maybe their universe? (Bc worldbuilding is ALWAYS cool.) Thanks! (And again, love your art

aaa thank you!! i have. a lot bear with me lmao but. i’m gonna put this under a cut because Oh Dang That’s Too Many

video game ocs: holy moley that’s a lot

tarris, relic, kharza gra-durza, serindil, riandil, vhesryn, saaji and zhakka are all from elder scrolls!! 

tarris is a bosmer thief/assassin who’s actually real bad at fighting and is probably half magpie, don’t wear jewelery near her she will Have It

relic is a bosmer vampire who is an asshole. he’s awful. he knows magic but mostly likes to Stab. he exists in the same world-state as tarris and kharza and probably a few others 

kharza is an orc warrior who’s like the only lawful good character i have, whoops. she sometimes turns into a werewolf and mauls people but that’s a minor character flaw. she’s a big gay

serindil is an altmer mage!! very very much a glass cannon. they were with the thalmor embassy in skyrim until they... sort of defected?? they’re still an ass tho

riandil is a bosmer scout!! he’s from eso so i’m not sure exactly how he fits into the world state, but he’s a big ball of sunshine. he likes very very bad puns and responding to altmer supremacy by acting real stupid until THEY look stupid. he’s great

vhesryn is a dunmer assassin but he’s also a big ol’ dick. he’s a vampire too but mostly a dick. his hobbies include being an asshole and stabbing people, also dancing

saaji is a khajiit thief and very pure good person. she;s good. she’ll steal your things but she’s good she’ll prolly give em back. really just wants a warm spot in the sun, very very tired of almer

zhakka is a redguard warrior and former pirate!! i love her. she scowls a lot and looks grumpy but she’s grinning inside just all the time. you know those people who say the most ridiculous funny shit with a totally stoic face?? that’s zhakka

spring and bishop are from fallout

spring washington is Soft. she’s a soft soft person. she likes plants and photography, but also she was her school’s boxing champion pre-war and won trophies for shooting, and likes to keep a switchblade on her at all times. met her husband when he had to drag her off some creep. she just wants to make the world a bit brighter!!

bishop is. bishop. he’s my courier and he’s??? the worst. he’s obnoxiously lucky and knows it, and very charming despite the amount of times he puts his foot directly in his mouth. he’s good at heart but also does what seems good/fun/cool at the time??? “hey bishop when is the last time you washed” “i dunno when did it last rain” “i don’t want to travel with you any more”

i have a whole lot of dragon age ocs bear with me

rasha tabris is Angry. i once described her as a wildfire in a very pretentious thing i didn’t post but it’s apt!! she stayed with the wardens because duncan was the reason she could kill vaughn, and the reason she wasn’t killed for it. she died fighting the archdemon because there was no way she was trusting some human, and died spitting and cursing

katia brosca’s main personality trait is Spite. people told her she could only be this this and this because casteless, so she did absolutely everything she could to prove them wrong. a lot of her loudness and bravado is a front to protect herself, but not all of it

hildr aeuducan’s middle name is duty. she does the job she’s got to do, and does it well. she doesn’t really Do sentiment?? and she’s never once but her own opinions over what’s best. she left behlen on the throne despite. everything

cian mahariel is Ridiculous. they spend half their time in trees despite having broken at least one bone on every part of their body falling out of them, and are Always Smiling

niketas surana lives on his nerves. his skills include flinching, stammering, going beet red if anybody looks at him for too long, and falling a little bit in love with anybody who’s nice to him. he’ll very very gladly swallow all his fear to protect people though, and repeatedly put himself between templars and scared younger mages while still in the tower. would die for jowan, frankly

vinnora lavellan is a sweetheart!! she just wants to be nice to everyone, and frankly deserves better than she got. she never wanted to be inquisitor, but figured she could at least use the position to help people who needed it, and tried to

noah shepard is my only real mass effect character worth talking about!! she’s a Delight and i love her. she’s paragon to her core, and goes out of her way to help people or offer a shoulder, but she’s absolutely not afraid to speak her mind or tell assholes to get fucked. she’s very very tired and full of guilt and regret. please let her sleep

d&d ocs!! are they ocs technically. i’m counting them i love them

dáithí lathlaeril is a half elven wild magic sorcerer and the only one i have actually played!! they’re half of a set of twins born to a high elven noblewoman and her human husband. they accidentally burned down their family library after overhearing their mother agree to essentially disinherit them, and have been an adventurer ever since. they have Lots of emotions always, and swing between “i’m inherently superior to all of you and also have cool magic” and “oh god i’m the worst i’m pathetic is my magic even good” and it’s terrible. please give them a hug. their name is pronounced DAH-hee

dáimhín lathlaeril is the other twin!! she left home to go be a bard but attracted an archfey with her singing, and wound up a warlock. still pretends to be a bard tho. she’s obnoxiously charming and knows it, and is WAY more relaxed and happy go lucky than their twin. she’s still pretty prissy tho. her name is pronounced like DAH-veen. also she’s not a girl, she’s nb!! like her twin. “finch that wouldn’t happen” haha what i can’t hear you

zeerith is a drow rogue!! he had just the worst life but is So Good at pretending he didn’t. what do you mean he’s almost certainly traumatised and emotionally messed up, he’s smiling, see?? trust him. he really really hates killing and would much rather talk his way out of trouble, but isn’t at all above hurting people to defend people?? also he’s very handsome and charming, focus on that. no don’t ask him if he’s ok. very very prone to talking someone to death if given half a chance

most of my actually original characters are from the same world!! it’s tag is “untitled a” because i don’t have a name for it yet lmao. there’s also a bunch of gods to go with these guys but i don’t even have names for them yet so lmao

fionn is prolly currently my most developed character from it. he’s an elf, which is fairly rare, and a magic user, which is rarer. he doesn’t care tho. he’s an ex-soldier who deserted after some very bad stuff happened, and he’s just trying to keep his head down. the god of luck and fate took a shine to him tho, so that’s not going too well. he uses his magic to make people think he’s much better at playing music than he is, but he could do Very cool things. he won’t tho

sabre is also an elf, but she’s a thief and very happy about it. she’s tiny and literally always ready to fight. she’ll fight anyone. she’ll Win against anyone. don’t fight sabre she jut doesn’t stop. she’s got a pretty strict Code tho, and won’t steal from anyone who can’t afford it, or fight anyone who can’t fight back. technically steals to give to the poor but also keeps a lot. she worked for that ill gotten gold!! she’s one of the two people who got “chosen” by the twin gods of the hunt, which she’s pretty stoked about. she’s got a tattoo honoring one of the twins

zarifa is the captain of an as-yet unnamed ship, and a totally legitimate merchant sailor. no pirates here absolutely not haha what’s that officer nope no illegitimate goods either, trust her. she’s got a good heart but also she’s pretty practical, and ensuring her own survival and the survival of her crew trumps morals every time. she’s the “chosen” of the god of the sea, which is an incredibly mixed bag

sylvie pike is zarifa’s first mate, but not nearly as professional. she likes to have fun, and insists on dragging zarifa with her. she’s got a much thicker accent than any other member of the crew, and makes it impenetrably thicker when she wants to be difficult. she’s not as good at overcoming her conscience as zarifa is

billie shaw is possibly my oldest current oc, holy shit. they’re kind of the odd job person aboard the ship, and also sing shanties and (badly) play the accordion. has a big big soft spot for kids. also hates shoes. what the fuck billie. put some boots on you ridiculous human being

sara tillman is possibly the only ordinary person on board the ship. she’s the ship’s doctor, despite being easily the youngest person aboard, and despite having only ever operated on her family’s farm prior to being hired. she’s got like ten siblings and loves all of them very very much

there’s also a handful of others from this universe who aren’t nearly as fleshed out yet, other than the gods, but they aren’t fleshed out!! “finch neither are any of the people you’ve talked about” [sweats]

[mst3kproject]

K19: Hangar 18

If the History Channel were to make a movie, Hangar 18 would be it.  

We open in space, on a shot of the same 1/100 scale space shuttle model kit I built as a kid, except theirs has a better paint job. You can tell it's sci-fi because the credits are in a public domain approximation of the 80s NASA font.  During the mission, a satellite collides with a UFO – the satellite is destroyed, the astronaut who was working on it is apparently decapitated, and the UFO itself makes an emergency landing in Arizona.

From here, two things happen.  The surviving astronauts are somewhat upset when the ensuing coverup blames them for the death of their colleague, so they set out to find some proof of what really happened while the government tries to keep them in the dark.  Meanwhile, scientists attempt to study the UFO, and learn that Erich Von Däniken was right about absolutely everything and aliens invented MP3s long ago.  Eventually, the people in charge of the conspiracy decide that this is going to ruin everybody's careers if it gets out, and crash an RC plane into the hangar where the saucer is being kept.

Robert Vaughn is in this.  His ears are still distractingly small.

Before I say anything else, permit me a small Space Nerd moment. Nobody involved in this movie had any idea how things are done in space.  You can't just throw on a space suit as if it's a light fall jacket. It takes at least fifteen minutes to get into the multiple layers of padding and cooling systems and then you gotta double-check all your seams because you really, really, really don't want anything to leak in fucking space.  Spacewalking astronauts also have to pre-breathe, which gets extra nitrogen out of their blood so they won't get the bends.  The shuttle's three main engines were only used on ascent and the shuttle itself had a minimum crew of four. The lack of detail on their shuttle sets and spacesuit costumes is utterly laughable, as is the tiny mission control room that looks to have maybe twelve people in it.

Some of this may be blamed on the fact that Hangar 18 was released in 1980, while the real-life space shuttle didn't begin test flights until 1981.  Thing is, the production actually thanks NASA in the end credits, which suggests that they spent some time there and had plenty of opportunities to ask questions like, “what would this look like?” and “how long would it take to do that?”  So either they didn't bother to ask, didn't bother to use what they'd learned, or just didn't care – and as a result the beginning of their movie looks like something out of Mighty Jack.

All right, with that out of the way, what is this movie supposed to be?  Well, as I said above, it's the History Channel.  Hangar 18 is basically a distillation of the entire modern UFO mythology (yep, here I go again), complete with Men in Black, abductions, Area 51, ancient astronauts, and crash retrievals – all in a ninety-six minute nutshell!  The only thing it's missing is a cattle mutilation.  The problem is that none of these things really make any sense when you think about them with your tinfoil hat off, and the movie doesn't try very hard to make sense of them.

First, there's the whole 'government cover up' angle.  In the movie, the bigwigs don't want anybody finding out about the UFO at first because they fear it will affect the outcome of an impending election.  In the interests of keeping things quiet they move the craft to a secure facility and pay off the witness who saw it land so he won't talk to anybody – sure, that works.  But there are also the two astronauts who watched this object kill their colleague.  You would assume that they would be interviewed and then told about the need to stay mum for a while... but this never happens.  In fact, for reasons that are absolutely not remotely 'reasonable', the conspiracy just ignores the astronauts entirely until they start making pests of themselves.

When a news story breaks blaming the two astronauts for the death of their colleage, the higher-ups don't even comment on it.  When the astronauts themselves start asking questions, they are shut out, followed, and harrassed, until one of them and at least four of the federal agents are dead.  Why was any of that necessary?  One guy did suggest, right at the beginning, that it would be easier to just write them a cheque and ask them to take a vacation while this all got sorted out, but apparently trying to assassinate two celebrities in public was much more acceptable.

At the end, the conspiracy realizes that the saucer itself has become a liability.  If anyone finds out about the stupid decisions they've already made, their careers will be over, so it's time to do one more mind-numbingly idiotic thing and blow the whole thing up.  Oh yes, clearly, destroying the scientific find of the millennium and killing everybody who knows about it is the obvious solution.  That will definitely make all their problems go away.

Naturally it does not, but we never really see the consequences of this.  A voiceover tells us, as the credits roll, that the people who were inside the ship survived the blast and the fire.  The secret is now out, but we never get a hint of the fallout.  At the end of Captain America: the Winter Soldier we saw the evil senator getting arrested and a glimpse of Black Widow testifying, and that's enough to assure us that everything turned out okay.  In Hangar 18 we're supposed to take it on faith that the conspiracy guys will be punished, instead of, say, vanishing into 'retirement' on a tropical island somewhere. We're not supposed to be curious about the effect these revelations will have on society, or what will happen when the aliens actually return.  Any of these things would be a more interesting movie than watching two guys in bell-bottoms getting chased across the desert by Men in Black.

The UFO itself had quite a bit more effort put into it than anything else in the movie – maybe this is why they had no money left and were forced to settle for that plastic model kit of the space shuttle.  In space it is visible only as an arc of orange lights, actually looking rather like the Phoenix Lights of 1997, and is really kind of eerie.  Then we get a closer look at it in the hangar, and find it is nothing at all like the standard-issue flying saucer we were expecting.  It looks more like a piece of industrial equipment you'd find at an oil refinery, with a strong sense of weight and scarcely a hint of aerodynamics as we know them.  The first time it appeared, I honestly wasn't sure what I was looking at – was that supposed to be the UFO?  I'm not entirely sure if I like this treatment of it, but it definitely surprised me.

The inside of the craft looks more like we might expect a UFO to look, with silver walls and blinky lights and dead dudes with shaved heads.  Much is made of the fact that symbols on board the spaceship are identical to those known from assorted ancient cultures, but the ones we see are all completely made up because that means they didn't have to do any research.  The space armadillo in the glass tube is somewhat interesting.  The blonde woman who wakes up screaming could have been interesting, but the movie just puts her in an ambulance and forgets about her.

Then there's the aliens.  This is the bit where the movie goes full Von Däniken, with a character proclaiming that human evolution has been shaped by these beings from the start.  That's why we and they have identical internal organs, right down to the useless bits like the appendix and the nictitating membrane.

Human anatomy is derived from the same primate ancestor as that of the other great apes, which in turn is derived from the last common ancestor of all mammals, which is derived from the last common ancestor of all tetrapods, which is derived from the last common ancestor of all vertebrates, and so on, and so on, and so on.  There is nothing in our bodies that other animals don't have in some form, because we all began with the same source material.  You can follow this right down to the molecular level: every living thing on Earth uses the same chemistry, because we all have a common origin.

If we're positing that a creature from another planet has the same internal organs as us, it doesn't matter how much they're supposed to have messed with our genes, it's still ridiculous.  A true alien would have had to start from scratch.  There's no reason why they would even use the same genetic code as us (for example, with three A's in a row coding for lysine, aka the one the Jurassic Park dinosaurs can't make), let alone have an appendix.  For these aliens to be responsible for our anatomy looking just like theirs, they would have had to guide the origins of life on Earth from its formation, and kept an eye on it since to make sure it didn't wander off on an evolutionary tangent before inventing bilateral symmetry or something.

Don't even get me started on the idea that aliens could interbreed with us.  It'd be like trying to create something that was half-human, half-watermelon, only even more so.

Other than the strange-looking UFO, Hangar 18 doesn't offer us anything particularly memorable.  The characters aren't very interesting, the aliens are utterly forgettable movie aliens, and the effects are unconvincing at best.  The story avoids the more interesting ideas it brings up and sticks to the obvious. It's mediocre and disappointing, and I can't imagine I'll ever want to watch it again.

[abbzworld]

Fic Rec Day

Here are my favorite fanfic’s found online. :)

Codename: Kids Next Door

Broken

This story about Father finding out he has a biological daughter is SO sweet! Sasha is a well rounded OC and Father isn’t OOC.

Finding Happiness

This 3/4 fic is everything you could ask for in a story! It has angst, romance, humor and really cool moments! DEFINITELY give it a read if you like the 3/4 pairing!

Doctor Who

Against All We Know

Kate Stewart/Rani is a very strange pairing, but the author really makes it work! There’s some angst and sexual references mixed in so be warned.

Alone

A story told from the 1st person POV of a Dalek? That’s ridiculous! Yes it is, but it works. It really, really works! This is a novelization of the Series 1 episode “Dalek” and it’s really awesome and sad!

Bitter Dancer

Smutty and hot. ;)

The Chronicles of Impossibility series

I really enjoy this series, despite the cursing, sexual references and mature themes. The angst is quite heartbreaking, but very well written. Definitely give it a read if you like Whouffaldi, Twelve/River and Clara/River as the three of them are in a relationship together!

Guardians of the Universe series

This seven story epic that is far from finished is one of the most intricate, detailed, coherent and entertaining series I’ve EVER read! It features Rose as the protagonist and she’s a relationship with Nine, Ten, Eleven and Twelve. Some people might not like that, though. So be warned.

In Another Life

Misffle AU’s. ‘nuff said.

My Clara

Hasn’t been updated in a while, but the three chapters that are there really make the Misffle relationship work and it’s very realistic.

Mystery Girl - One Moment - She’s Back

These stories are REALLY good! I love the villains, the tension, the mystery (see what I did there) and the OC’s!

Small Bump

Absolutely heartbreaking. You will cry.

The One Who Returns

Very bittersweet and a good explanation for Twelve’s and Missy’s last scene in “The Witch’s Familiar”.

This is Yesterday

This is SUCH a good story! It wraps up some unanswered questions from the show (i.e. Rassilon and the Hybrid), brings up good plot lines and conflicts and the characters are REALLY well handled!

Travels in the TARDIS series

I really enjoyed this Osgood and Missy series with some Clara, Danny and Twelve mixed in. There’s romance (with a sex scene in “Blue Christmas”, so be warned), angst, humor and tension. Very good read.

When We Travel Book 1 and Book 2

This story isn’t perfect, with formatting and pacing issues that somewhat runs out of ideas sometimes. That being said, Whouffaldi fans should still love it! Though it hasn’t been updated in a while.

Where’s Poppet?

Very sad. Also contains spoilers for “Face the Raven”.

Harvest Moon

Dove’s Nocturne

Hasn’t been updated in a while, but it’s very tense and kind of scary... for Harvest Moon anyways.

Dying by the dream

Sad story revolving around Celia’s unrequited love for Jack.

Frostbitten Flower

Lovely, angsty and bittersweet story revolving around Marlin and Celia, as well as her relationship with the deceased Jack.

Hidden Greed, Hidden Grief

Lovely story about selfishness. That sounds weird, but just read it and you’ll understand.

Instant Message

Very cute story involving Chelsea and Vaughn.

Love and Hate - Honesty and Deceit

I LOVE the way the author makes the romance, angst, tension and humor work in the first story and as for it’s sequel, Chelsea and Vaughn have to deal with murderer that’s set her eyes on them!

Loveless: Jack’s and Celia’s story

Kind of fast paced, but still very sweet and has a good plot.

Maybe Mummy Misses You

Very sad.

Necessary

Love this Marlin/Celia oneshot.

Perfect

Crazy oneshot and it makes you think.

Under a Moonlit Sky

Hasn’t been updated in a while, but it’s an AWESOME story!

Legend of Zelda

30 Tales of Fate

Very cute.

A Glass of Port

A “what if” scenario involving WW Link and Ganondorf at the beginning of the game. Shame it was never continued.

A Love Story

One of the best ZeLink stories out there.

Cry for Hyrule

Very good Wind Waker story that deviates from the game’s plot in a good way and is very enjoyable.

Forgotten Memories - Twilight Sunrise

Love these Ilia/Link stories. Twilight Sunrise hasn’t been updated for a while though.

Fortitude

Another “one of the best” ZeLink stories out there.

Kasuto’s Redemption

Still reading it, but I’m very much enjoying myself! Set in the TP verse.

Matchmakers

Cute story.

More than it Seems

Tense, romantic and sad. Trigger warnings for abuse.

Remember Me As A Time Of Day

LGBT represented in ST Zelda and Tetra. And it’s good!

Running to You

Haven’t properly read this one yet, but what I have read is good!

The Crimson Loftwing

Hasn’t been updated in a while, but this story is SO good! It’s fluffy, sad, angsty and just all around awesome!

The Infinite Wisdom of Wives

Awesome and sweet ZeLink story.

Til the Sun Grows Cold and the Stars Grow Old

Another ZeLink story that’s canon compliant with TP and the rest of the Zelda verse.

To Take Chances

Another good ZeLink story.

Transcendence - Little Princess

Another good ZeLink story. Some mature scenes, references and trigger warnings for stillborn birth.

Zelda: Winds of a New Beginning - Zelda: Winds of a New Darkness

These stories are SOOOO good! They’re incredibly well though out, have a little bit of everything and are just all around AWESOME!

Mario

A Twilight Tale

Very bittersweet and ties into the game nicely.

Better Off Alone - Better Off Alone II: Hope and Faith

I LOVE these stories! Koops/Vivian seems like a strange pairing, but the author REALLY makes it work! Trigger warnings for abuse.

Change of Heart

I’m not really sure if I ship Bowser/Peach, but this story REALLY made me want to!

Paper Mario: The Temple of the Sun

This story perfectly plays out like an actual Paper Mario game, with the vibrant settings, awesome characters, the twists and turns and the ending was so beautiful and satisfying.

Paper Mario X - Paper Mario X 2 - Paper Luigi X - Super Paper Mario X

This crossover series with Paper Mario, Metroid, Legend of Zelda, Sonic, Kirby and some others is incredibly well done and still keeps true to the games.

Naruto

Chipped Mask

Some people might not like this self-insert with an OC that “fixes” everything, but I still enjoyed it.

In The Blood

This over 100 chapter epic is freaking awesome! The OC’s and characters have amazing depth, there’s plot twists like you wouldn’t believe and everything’s kept quite true to canon! Trigger warning for abuse.

Little Mouse

Hasn’t been updated for a while but this NaruHina & Gaara/Hinata story is really well written; especially Gaara who isn’t a good guy here.

The Mating Frenzy

Hilarious. Though the humor’s inappropriate.

New Blood - Old Souls

Love these stories. Everything’s SO well written; the characters, the plot and everything else.

Yet again - Take Two Round Two

These stories ROCK! You might not like the “over powered” OC’s involved but it’s really well done here!

Transformers

Fallout - Fallout: Apocalypse

The angst, humor, fluff, romance and OC’s are really well balanced in these stories.

Xenosaga

Agas One X: Redefined

Hasn’t been updated in a while but this is a great High School AU and the humor is great.

Other

A Very Muppets Mystery

LOVED this story! If you like mystery and the Muppets, definitely check it out,

Freddy’s Girl

The pacing and formatting is terrible, but it’s incredibly entertaining!

Authors

Aiselne Phoenix Nocturnus

Their Xenosaga stories are very emotional and beautiful.

Bonus Parts

I really enjoy how this author ships Sally Sparrow and Larry Nightingale and writes them very well!

firefly

His Naruto stories rule!

Hollow Shadow Wolf

Wolfie here writes amazingly well and their Misffle stories are very good as well!

Kiara32

Her three Lion King stories are REALLY well written! The OC’s, the plots, the conflicts, the angst, the humor, the tension and the romance just work together so well!

Negaduck

Love this author’s take on the Muppet Show and the Fraggles.

Ninja Sheik

Big Anko/Orochimaru fan that writes really well! Warnings for some smut.

optimus prime 007

She writes SO well! I especially enjoy her Kaceystar stories.

The Saddleman

He’s a big Whouffaldi shipper and I find his writing so entertaining, whether it’s angsty, humorous or sweet.

There you go! I’ll probably update this later, but that’s basically the gist of it. Enjoy. :)

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Maple Quotes

Official Website: Maple Quotes

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• A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That’s retirement. – Stephen Leacock • A river is the most human and companionable of all inanimate things. It has a life, a character, a voice of its own; and it is as full of good fellowship as a sugar maple is of sap. It can talk in various tones, loud or low, and of many subjects grave and gay…. For real company and friendship there is nothing, outside of the animal kingdom, that is comparable to a river. – Henry Van Dyke • A sad sort of vulnerability was wafting from her, making the night smell like maple syrup. – Sarah Addison Allen • A solitary maple on a woodside flames in single scarlet, recalls nothing so much as the daughter of a noble house dressed for a fancy ball, with the whole family gathered around to admire her before she goes. – Henry James • A withered maple leaf has left its branch and is falling to the ground; its movements resemble those of a butterfly in flight. Isn’t it strange? The saddest and deadest of things is yet so like the gayest and most vital of creatures? – Ivan Turgenev • After the keen still days of September, the October sun filled the world with mellow warmth…The maple tree in front of the doorstep burned like a gigantic red torch. The oaks along the roadway glowed yellow and bronze. The fields stretched like a carpet of jewels, emerald and topaz and garnet. Everywhere she walked the color shouted and sang around her…In October any wonderful unexpected thing might be possible. – Elizabeth George Speare • Again the blackbirds sings; the streams Wake, laughing, from their winter dreams, And tremble in the April showers The tassels of the maple flowers. – John Greenleaf Whittier • And again it snowed, and again the sun came out. In the mornings on the way to the station Franklin counted the new snowmen that had sprung up mysteriously overnight or the old ones that had been stricken with disease and lay cracked apart-a head here, a broken body and three lumps of coal there-and one day he looked up from a piece of snow-colored rice paper and knew he was done. It was as simple as that: you bent over your work night after night, and one day you were done. Snow still lay in dirty streaks on the ground but clusters of yellow-green flowers hung from the sugar maples. – Steven Millhauser • Anne reveled in the world of color about her. “Oh, Marilla,” she exclaimed one Saturday morning, coming dancing in with her arms full of gorgeous boughs, “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. It would be terrible if we just skipped from September to November, wouldn’t it? Look at these maple branches. Don’t they give you a thrill–several thrills? – Lucy Maud Montgomery • Around in silent grandeur stood The stately children of the wood; Maple and elm and towering pine Mantled in folds of dark woodbine. – Julia Caroline Dorr

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Maple', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_maple').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_maple img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • But truth be told, I’m not as dour-looking as I would like. I’m stuck with this round, sweetie-pie face, tiny heart-shaped lips, the daintiest dimples, and apple cheeks so rosy I appear in a perpetual blush. At five foot four, I barely squeak by average height. And then there’s my voice: straight out of second grade. I come across so young and innocent and harmless that I have been carded for buying maple syrup. Tourists feel more safe approaching me for directions, telemarketers always ask if my mother is home, and waitresses always, always call me ‘Hon. – Sarah Vowell

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• Catch a vista of maples in that long light and you see Autumn glowing through the leaves…. The promise of gold and crimson is there among the branches, though as yet it is achieved on only a stray branch, an impatient limb or an occasional small tree which has not yet learned to time its changes. – Hal Borland • Consider the many special delights a lawn affords: soft mattress for a creeping baby; worm hatchery for a robin; croquet or badminton court; baseball diamond; restful green perspectives leading the eye to a background of flower beds, shrubs, or hedge; green shadows – “This lawn, a carpet all alive/With shadows flung from leaves’ – as changing and as spellbinding as the waves of the sea, whether flecked with sunlight under trees of light foliage, like elm and locust, or deep, dark, solid shade, moving slowly as the tide, under maple and oak. This carpet! – Katharine Sergeant Angell White • Do you think I’m wonderful? she asked him one day as they leaned against the trunk of a petrified maple. No, he said. Why? Because so many girls are wonderful. I imagine hundreds of men have called their loves wonderful today, and it’s only noon. You couldn’t be something that hundreds of others are. – Jonathan Safran Foer • Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated. – Barry Humphries • For anyone who lives in the oak-and-maple area of New England, there is a perennial temptation to plunge into a purple sea of adjectives about October. – Hal Borland • For hours she had lain in a kind of gentle torpor, not unlike that sweet lassitude which masters one in the hush of a midsummer noon, when the heat seems to have silenced the very birds and insects, and, lying sunk in the tasselled meadow grasses, one looks up through a level roofing of maple-leaves at the vast, shadowless, and unsuggestive blue. – Edith Wharton • For watching sports, I tend to drink Guinness; early evenings always begin well with a Grey Goose and tonic with plenty of lime; and on a cold winters night, theres nothing quite like a glass of Black Maple Hill… an absolute peach of a bourbon. – Martin Bashir • Freezing concentrates sugar (maple sugar), alcohol, and salt solutions as efficiently as heating distils water or alcohol from solutions. Open pans of maple sugar can have the surface ice removed regularly (each day) until a sugar concentrate remains. Salts in water, and alcohol in ferment liquors can be concentrated in the same way. – Bill Mollison • I always feel at home where the sugar maple grows…. glorious in autumn, a fountain of coolness in summer, sugar in its veins, gold in its foliage, warmth in its fibers, and health in it the year round. – John Burroughs • I always go to the lowest common denominator for that ingredient. So if I think squash, I try to think what it means to me — and if it doesn’t mean anything to me, I’m not gonna do well when I cook it. So [squash] means to me: fall, maple syrup, cinnamon, and things just come into your head so you can narrow the vortex and make it a bit smaller and you go with something because there’s no time. – Geoffrey Zakarian • I always have a good quality extra virgin olive oil. A cheap quality oil will end up cheapening your dishes. And I love sweetening my dishes with maple syrup. It has a bit of a bitter kick at the end that works wonderfully in savory dishes. – Nadia Giosia • I am passionate about tea, running, the idea that we are bound only by the limits of our imaginations, and maple syrup. – Misha Collins • I ate breakfast in the kitchen by candle-light, and then drove the five miles to the station through the most glorious October colouring. The sun came up on the way, and the swamp maples and dogwood glowed crimson and orange and the stone walls and cornfields sparkled with hoar frost; the air was keen and clear and full of promise. I knew something was going to happen. – Jean Webster • I drink maple syrup. Then I’m hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. – Rachel McAdams • I grew up trying to play for the Toronto Maple Leafs, not Team Canada. Didn’t even know it existed. – Adam Oates • I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick? – Vince Vaughn • I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. – Jay Baruchel • I like Toronto a lot, it’s a good city. The only thing that really annoys me about Toronto is that you’re turning Maple Leaf Gardens into a grocery store, which is absolutely nothing short of disgusting. – Rick Wakeman • I remember it as October days are always remembered, cloudless, maple-flavored, the air gold and so clean it quivers. – Leif Enger • I sit where the leaves of the maple and the gnarled and knotted gum are circling and drifting around me. – Alice Cary • I think maybe, if I could be a Canadian super hero, I’d have some kind of freezing power and some sort of maple syrup weapon. Could be a little sticky. – Nathan Fillion • I thought of my mother as Queen Christina, cool and sad, eyes trained on some distant horizon. That was where she belonged, in furs and palaces of rare treasures, fireplaces large enough to roast a reindeer, ships of Swedish maple. – Janet Fitch • I used to go to Maple Leafs games all the time when Nic shot To Die For here in Toronto. This is a great city. I love it here. – Tom Cruise • I was cutting and threading pipe in the tunnels to get water into the shower rooms for athletics. I was repairing old metal windows, fixing cement walls where rain was coming through, and drying out the maple gym floors in hopes of removing the warping. – Tom Baker • I was just getting acquainted with the wood. I wanted to see if it was maple or pine. – Kurt Rambis • If it’s not 100 per cent pure maple syrup, it can’t be called ‘pure maple syrup. – Nancy Greene • If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’ll seem like forever. – Pat LaFontaine • I’m not from a maple producing area and so my maple syrup credentials are very much of the eating side. – Nancy Greene • I’m very proud to be wearing the “C” for the Maple Leafs. It puts a smile on my face everyday – Mats Sundin • In New York and New England the sap starts up in the sugar maple the very day the bluebird arrives, and sugar-making begins forthwith. The bird is generally a mere disembodied voice; a rumor in the air for two or three days before it takes visible shape before you. – John Burroughs • In spring when maple buds are red, We turn the clock an hour ahead; Which means, each April that arrives, We lose an hour out of our lives.

Who cares? When autumn birds in flocks Fly southward, back we turn the clocks, And so regain a lovely thing That missing hour we lost in spring. – Phyllis McGinley • In the long dusks of summer we walked the suburban streets through scents of maple and cut grass, waiting for something to happen. – Steven Millhauser • It is a poor observance of our first century as a nation if we run up a flag of surrender with three dying maple leaves on it. – Charlotte Whitton • It is a vast wilderness of rocks in a sea of light, colored and glowing like oak and maple in autumn, when the sun gold is richest – John Muir • Leaf fans loyalty is unshakeable. The fans keep coming back and it hurts, I have been there. I have lost in game six to go to the finals with the Maple Leafs, against Carolina and what a great final that would have been. – Curtis Joseph • Lyric night of the lingering Indian Summer, Shadowy fields that are scentless but full of singing, Never a bird, but the passionless chant of insects, Ceaseless, insistent. The grasshopper’s horn, and far-off, high in the maples, The wheel of a locust leisurely grinding the silence Under a moon waning and worn, broken, Tired with summer. – Sara Teasdale • Many of the artifacts of my house had become potential devices for my own destruction: the attic rafters (and an outside maple or two) a means to hang myself, the garage a place to inhale carbon monoxide, the bathtub a vessel to receive the flow from my opened arteries. The kitchen knives in their drawers had but one purpose for me. – William Styron • Maples are such sociable trees … They’re always rustling and whispering to you. – Lucy Maud Montgomery • Maple-trees are the cows of trees (spring-milked). – Henry Ward Beecher • Much can they praise the trees so straight and high, The sailing pine,the cedar proud and tall, The vine-prop elm, the poplar never dry, The builder oak, sole king of forests all, The aspin good for staves, the cypress funeral, The laurel, meed of mighty conquerors And poets sage, the fir that weepest still, The yew obedient to the bender’s will, The birch for shafts, the sallow for the mill, The myrrh sweet-bleeding in the bitter wound, The warlike beech, the ash for nothing ill, The fruitful olive, and the platane round, The carver holm, the maple seldom inward sound. – Edmund Spenser • My end goal in the piano is to play Scott Joplin’s ‘Maple Leaf Rag. – Miranda Leek • My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in the shape of maple leaves. – David Sedaris • My love of maple syrup. I’ve been known to knock back a can over a couple days: A swig here, a swig there, and next thing you know it’s gone. It’s a habit I have to stave off. I don’t want to lose all my teeth. – Rufus Wainwright • My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position. – Arthur Conan Doyle • No clouds are in the morning sky, The vapors hug the stream, Who says that life and love can die In all this northern gleam? At every turn the maples burn, The quail is whistling free, The partridge whirs, and the frosted burs Are dropping for you and me. Ho! hillyho! heigh O! Hillyho! In the clear October morning. – Edmund Clarence Stedman • October turned my maple’s leaves to gold; The most are gone now; here and there one lingers: Soon these will slip from the twigs’ weak hold, Like coins between a dying miser’s fingers. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • Oh! to be a child again. My only treasures, bits of shell and stone and glass. To love nothing but maple sugar. To fear nothing but a big dog. To go to sleep without dreading the morrow. To wake up with a shout. Not to have seen a dead face. Not to dread a living one. To be able to believe. – Fanny Fern • One day the ‘Maple Leaf’ will make me King of Ragtime Composers. – Scott Joplin • Our lives are like islands in the sea, or like trees in the forest. The maple and the pine may whisper to each other with their leaves … But the trees also commingle their roots in the darkness underground, and the islands also hang together through the ocean’s bottom. – William James • Spring has many American faces. There are cities where it will come and go in a day and counties where it hangs around and never quite gets there. Summer is drawn blinds in Louisiana, long winds in Wyoming, shade of elms and maples in New England. – Archibald MacLeish • That`s a maple leaf, Canadian, not just for being too European but too Canadian. Not so subtly putting [Ted] Cruz`s face inside that maple leaf there. – Chris Hayes • The approach to that movie wasn’t, ‘Lets make this movie about Amsterdam and maple syrup.’ The concept was, ‘Lets go to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is fun.’ So we flew to Amsterdam with our cameras and we saw what happened and then we got back and we sat down and we said, ‘What’s the movie here.’ That’s when we realized that the movie was ‘The Maple Syrup Saga’. – Casey Neistat • The ash her purple drops forgivingly And sadly, breaking not the general hush; The maple swamps glow like a sunset sea, Each leaf a ripple with its separate flush; All round the wood’s edge creeps the skirting blaze, Ere the rain falls, the cautious farmer burns his brush. – James Russell Lowell • The food that’s never let me down in life is porridge, especially with milk and maple syrup, which is delicious. Paris isn’t a porridge place, but I can buy it in London when I’m there and bring it back with me. – Marianne Faithfull • The gaps are the thing. The gaps are the spirit’s one home, the altitudes and latitudes so dazzlingly spare and clean that the spirit can discover itself like a once-blind man unbound. The gaps are the clefts in the rock where you cower to see the back parts of God; they are fissures between mountains and cells the wind lances through, the icy narrowing fiords splitting the cliffs of mystery. Go up into the gaps. If you can find them; they shift and vanish too. Stalk the gaps. Squeak into a gap in the soil, turn, and unlock-more than a maple-universe. – Annie Dillard • The morns are meeker than they were, The nuts are getting brown; The berry’s cheek is plumper, The rose is out of town. The maple wears a gayer scarf, The field a scarlet gown. Lest I should be old-fashioned, I’ll put a trinket on. – Emily Dickinson • The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything. – Daniel Handler • The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry Of bugles going by. And my lonely spirit thrills To see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills. – Bliss Carman • The spirit of the year, like bacchant crowned, With lighted torch goes careless on his way; And soon bursts into flame the maple’s spray, And vines are running fire along the ground. – Edith M. Thomas • The stripped and shapely Maple grieves The ghosts of her Departed leaves. The ground is hard, As hard as stone. The year is old, The birds are flown. – John Updike • The sugar maple is remarkable for its clean ankle. The groves of these trees looked like vast forest sheds, their branches stopping short at a uniform height, four or five feet from the ground, like eaves, as if they had been trimmed by art, so that you could look under and through the whole grove with its leafy canopy, as under a tent whose curtain is raised. – Henry David Thoreau • The summer ends and we wonder who we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And today I passed the high school, the river, the maple tree I passed the farms that made it Through the last days of the century And I knew that I was going to learn again Again, in this less hazy light I saw the fields beyond the fields The fields beyond the field – Dar Williams • The very uprightness of the pines and maples asserts the ancient rectitude and vigor of nature. Our lives need the relief of such a background, where the pine flourishes and the jay still screams. – Henry David Thoreau • The wilderness is near as well as dear to every man. Even the oldest villages are indebted to the border of wild wood which surrounds them, more than to the gardens of men. There is something indescribably inspiriting and beautiful in the aspect of the forest skirting and occasionally jutting into the midst of new towns, which, like the sand-heaps of fresh fox-burrows, have sprung up in their midst. The very uprightness of the pines and maples asserts the ancient rectitude and vigor of nature. Our lives need the relief of such a background, where the pine flourishes and the jay still screams. – Henry David Thoreau • The woman is not just a pleasure, nor even a problem. She is a meniscus that allows the absolute to have a shape, that lets him skate however briefly on the mystery, her presence luminous on the ordinary and the grand. Like the odor at night in Pittsburgh’s empty streets after summer rain on maples and sycamore. – Jack Gilbert • The world of life, of spontaneity, the world of dawn and sunset and starlight, the world of soil and sunshine, of meadow and woodland, of hickory and oak and maple and hemlock and pineland forests, of wildlife dwelling around us, of the river and its wellbeing–all of this [is] the integral community in which we live. – Thomas Berry • There is a beautiful spirit breathing now Its mellowed richness on the clustered trees, And, from a beaker full of richest dyes, Pouring new glory on the autumn woods, And dipping in warm light the pillared clouds. Morn on the mountain, like a summer bird, Lifts up her purple wing, and in the vales The gentle wind, a sweet and passionate wooer, Kisses the blushing leaf, and stirs up life Within the solemn woods of ash deep-crimsoned, And silver beech, and maple yellow-leaved, Where Autumn, like a faint old man, sits down By the wayside a-weary. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow • There were so many miracles at work: that a blossom might become a peach, that a bee could make honey in its thorax, that rain might someday fall. I thought then about the seasons changing, and in the gray of night I could almost will myself to see the azure sky, the gold of the maple leaves, the crimson of the ripe apples, the hoarfrost on the grass. – Jane Hamilton • There’s nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we’re flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him. – Andy Rooney • This fastest of all games [hockey] has become almost as much of a national svmbol as the maple leaf. – Lester B. Pearson • This hill crossed with broken pines and maples lumpy with the burial mounds of uprooted hemlocks (hurricane of ’38) out of their rotting hearts generations rise trying once more to become the forest just beyond them tall enough to be called trees in their youth like aspen a bouquet of young beech is gathered they still wear last summer’s leaves the lightest brown almost translucent how their stubbornness has decorated the winter woods. – Grace Paley • To her bier Comes the year Not with weeping and distress, as mortals do, But, to guide her way to it, All the trees have torches lit; Blazing red the maples shine the woodlands through. – Lucy Larcom • We don’t want you convicted for condiment theft. You go to that prison, you’ll meet big-time operators. Maple syrup stealers. – Deb Caletti • We must keep these waters for wild rice, these trees for maple syrup, our lakes for fish, and our land and aquifers for all of our relatives – whether they have fins, roots, wings, or paws. – Winona LaDuke • We would much prefer to see ownership in the hands of the Maple Group, if only because we would much rather see Canadian ownership of our stock exchange. What we are first of all interested in is making sure that Montreal is able to preserve that niche or expertise. – Jean Charest • When April winds Grew soft, the maple burst into a flush Of scarlet flowers. The tulip tree, high up, Opened in airs of June her multitude Of golden chalices to humming-birds And silken-wing’d insects of the sky. – William C. Bryant • When you were a kid, if you went to the Montreal Forum or a hockey game at Maple Leaf Gardens, which I did, there was a great feeling. The new stadiums don’t have it. Why don’t they have it? Building codes. – Frank Gehry • With the fans and the Toronto Maple Leafs organization, the way I’ve been treated here has been awesome. – Mats Sundin • Writing an informative yet compact thriller is a lot like making maple sugar candy. You have to tap hundreds of trees – boil vats and vats of raw sap – evaporate the water – and keep boiling until you’ve distilled a tiny nugget that encapsulates the essence. – Dan Brown • You cannot imprison me!” He bellowed. “I am Hyperion! I am-” The bark closed over his face. Grover took his pipes from his mouth. “You are a very nice maple tree. – Rick Riordan

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Maple Quotes

Official Website: Maple Quotes

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• A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That’s retirement. – Stephen Leacock • A river is the most human and companionable of all inanimate things. It has a life, a character, a voice of its own; and it is as full of good fellowship as a sugar maple is of sap. It can talk in various tones, loud or low, and of many subjects grave and gay…. For real company and friendship there is nothing, outside of the animal kingdom, that is comparable to a river. – Henry Van Dyke • A sad sort of vulnerability was wafting from her, making the night smell like maple syrup. – Sarah Addison Allen • A solitary maple on a woodside flames in single scarlet, recalls nothing so much as the daughter of a noble house dressed for a fancy ball, with the whole family gathered around to admire her before she goes. – Henry James • A withered maple leaf has left its branch and is falling to the ground; its movements resemble those of a butterfly in flight. Isn’t it strange? The saddest and deadest of things is yet so like the gayest and most vital of creatures? – Ivan Turgenev • After the keen still days of September, the October sun filled the world with mellow warmth…The maple tree in front of the doorstep burned like a gigantic red torch. The oaks along the roadway glowed yellow and bronze. The fields stretched like a carpet of jewels, emerald and topaz and garnet. Everywhere she walked the color shouted and sang around her…In October any wonderful unexpected thing might be possible. – Elizabeth George Speare • Again the blackbirds sings; the streams Wake, laughing, from their winter dreams, And tremble in the April showers The tassels of the maple flowers. – John Greenleaf Whittier • And again it snowed, and again the sun came out. In the mornings on the way to the station Franklin counted the new snowmen that had sprung up mysteriously overnight or the old ones that had been stricken with disease and lay cracked apart-a head here, a broken body and three lumps of coal there-and one day he looked up from a piece of snow-colored rice paper and knew he was done. It was as simple as that: you bent over your work night after night, and one day you were done. Snow still lay in dirty streaks on the ground but clusters of yellow-green flowers hung from the sugar maples. – Steven Millhauser • Anne reveled in the world of color about her. “Oh, Marilla,” she exclaimed one Saturday morning, coming dancing in with her arms full of gorgeous boughs, “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. It would be terrible if we just skipped from September to November, wouldn’t it? Look at these maple branches. Don’t they give you a thrill–several thrills? – Lucy Maud Montgomery • Around in silent grandeur stood The stately children of the wood; Maple and elm and towering pine Mantled in folds of dark woodbine. – Julia Caroline Dorr

jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Maple', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_maple').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_maple img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); ); • But truth be told, I’m not as dour-looking as I would like. I’m stuck with this round, sweetie-pie face, tiny heart-shaped lips, the daintiest dimples, and apple cheeks so rosy I appear in a perpetual blush. At five foot four, I barely squeak by average height. And then there’s my voice: straight out of second grade. I come across so young and innocent and harmless that I have been carded for buying maple syrup. Tourists feel more safe approaching me for directions, telemarketers always ask if my mother is home, and waitresses always, always call me ‘Hon. – Sarah Vowell

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• Catch a vista of maples in that long light and you see Autumn glowing through the leaves…. The promise of gold and crimson is there among the branches, though as yet it is achieved on only a stray branch, an impatient limb or an occasional small tree which has not yet learned to time its changes. – Hal Borland • Consider the many special delights a lawn affords: soft mattress for a creeping baby; worm hatchery for a robin; croquet or badminton court; baseball diamond; restful green perspectives leading the eye to a background of flower beds, shrubs, or hedge; green shadows – “This lawn, a carpet all alive/With shadows flung from leaves’ – as changing and as spellbinding as the waves of the sea, whether flecked with sunlight under trees of light foliage, like elm and locust, or deep, dark, solid shade, moving slowly as the tide, under maple and oak. This carpet! – Katharine Sergeant Angell White • Do you think I’m wonderful? she asked him one day as they leaned against the trunk of a petrified maple. No, he said. Why? Because so many girls are wonderful. I imagine hundreds of men have called their loves wonderful today, and it’s only noon. You couldn’t be something that hundreds of others are. – Jonathan Safran Foer • Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated. – Barry Humphries • For anyone who lives in the oak-and-maple area of New England, there is a perennial temptation to plunge into a purple sea of adjectives about October. – Hal Borland • For hours she had lain in a kind of gentle torpor, not unlike that sweet lassitude which masters one in the hush of a midsummer noon, when the heat seems to have silenced the very birds and insects, and, lying sunk in the tasselled meadow grasses, one looks up through a level roofing of maple-leaves at the vast, shadowless, and unsuggestive blue. – Edith Wharton • For watching sports, I tend to drink Guinness; early evenings always begin well with a Grey Goose and tonic with plenty of lime; and on a cold winters night, theres nothing quite like a glass of Black Maple Hill… an absolute peach of a bourbon. – Martin Bashir • Freezing concentrates sugar (maple sugar), alcohol, and salt solutions as efficiently as heating distils water or alcohol from solutions. Open pans of maple sugar can have the surface ice removed regularly (each day) until a sugar concentrate remains. Salts in water, and alcohol in ferment liquors can be concentrated in the same way. – Bill Mollison • I always feel at home where the sugar maple grows…. glorious in autumn, a fountain of coolness in summer, sugar in its veins, gold in its foliage, warmth in its fibers, and health in it the year round. – John Burroughs • I always go to the lowest common denominator for that ingredient. So if I think squash, I try to think what it means to me — and if it doesn’t mean anything to me, I’m not gonna do well when I cook it. So [squash] means to me: fall, maple syrup, cinnamon, and things just come into your head so you can narrow the vortex and make it a bit smaller and you go with something because there’s no time. – Geoffrey Zakarian • I always have a good quality extra virgin olive oil. A cheap quality oil will end up cheapening your dishes. And I love sweetening my dishes with maple syrup. It has a bit of a bitter kick at the end that works wonderfully in savory dishes. – Nadia Giosia • I am passionate about tea, running, the idea that we are bound only by the limits of our imaginations, and maple syrup. – Misha Collins • I ate breakfast in the kitchen by candle-light, and then drove the five miles to the station through the most glorious October colouring. The sun came up on the way, and the swamp maples and dogwood glowed crimson and orange and the stone walls and cornfields sparkled with hoar frost; the air was keen and clear and full of promise. I knew something was going to happen. – Jean Webster • I drink maple syrup. Then I’m hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. – Rachel McAdams • I grew up trying to play for the Toronto Maple Leafs, not Team Canada. Didn’t even know it existed. – Adam Oates • I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick? – Vince Vaughn • I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. – Jay Baruchel • I like Toronto a lot, it’s a good city. The only thing that really annoys me about Toronto is that you’re turning Maple Leaf Gardens into a grocery store, which is absolutely nothing short of disgusting. – Rick Wakeman • I remember it as October days are always remembered, cloudless, maple-flavored, the air gold and so clean it quivers. – Leif Enger • I sit where the leaves of the maple and the gnarled and knotted gum are circling and drifting around me. – Alice Cary • I think maybe, if I could be a Canadian super hero, I’d have some kind of freezing power and some sort of maple syrup weapon. Could be a little sticky. – Nathan Fillion • I thought of my mother as Queen Christina, cool and sad, eyes trained on some distant horizon. That was where she belonged, in furs and palaces of rare treasures, fireplaces large enough to roast a reindeer, ships of Swedish maple. – Janet Fitch • I used to go to Maple Leafs games all the time when Nic shot To Die For here in Toronto. This is a great city. I love it here. – Tom Cruise • I was cutting and threading pipe in the tunnels to get water into the shower rooms for athletics. I was repairing old metal windows, fixing cement walls where rain was coming through, and drying out the maple gym floors in hopes of removing the warping. – Tom Baker • I was just getting acquainted with the wood. I wanted to see if it was maple or pine. – Kurt Rambis • If it’s not 100 per cent pure maple syrup, it can’t be called ‘pure maple syrup. – Nancy Greene • If you’ve only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs. It’ll seem like forever. – Pat LaFontaine • I’m not from a maple producing area and so my maple syrup credentials are very much of the eating side. – Nancy Greene • I’m very proud to be wearing the “C” for the Maple Leafs. It puts a smile on my face everyday – Mats Sundin • In New York and New England the sap starts up in the sugar maple the very day the bluebird arrives, and sugar-making begins forthwith. The bird is generally a mere disembodied voice; a rumor in the air for two or three days before it takes visible shape before you. – John Burroughs • In spring when maple buds are red, We turn the clock an hour ahead; Which means, each April that arrives, We lose an hour out of our lives.

Who cares? When autumn birds in flocks Fly southward, back we turn the clocks, And so regain a lovely thing That missing hour we lost in spring. – Phyllis McGinley • In the long dusks of summer we walked the suburban streets through scents of maple and cut grass, waiting for something to happen. – Steven Millhauser • It is a poor observance of our first century as a nation if we run up a flag of surrender with three dying maple leaves on it. – Charlotte Whitton • It is a vast wilderness of rocks in a sea of light, colored and glowing like oak and maple in autumn, when the sun gold is richest – John Muir • Leaf fans loyalty is unshakeable. The fans keep coming back and it hurts, I have been there. I have lost in game six to go to the finals with the Maple Leafs, against Carolina and what a great final that would have been. – Curtis Joseph • Lyric night of the lingering Indian Summer, Shadowy fields that are scentless but full of singing, Never a bird, but the passionless chant of insects, Ceaseless, insistent. The grasshopper’s horn, and far-off, high in the maples, The wheel of a locust leisurely grinding the silence Under a moon waning and worn, broken, Tired with summer. – Sara Teasdale • Many of the artifacts of my house had become potential devices for my own destruction: the attic rafters (and an outside maple or two) a means to hang myself, the garage a place to inhale carbon monoxide, the bathtub a vessel to receive the flow from my opened arteries. The kitchen knives in their drawers had but one purpose for me. – William Styron • Maples are such sociable trees … They’re always rustling and whispering to you. – Lucy Maud Montgomery • Maple-trees are the cows of trees (spring-milked). – Henry Ward Beecher • Much can they praise the trees so straight and high, The sailing pine,the cedar proud and tall, The vine-prop elm, the poplar never dry, The builder oak, sole king of forests all, The aspin good for staves, the cypress funeral, The laurel, meed of mighty conquerors And poets sage, the fir that weepest still, The yew obedient to the bender’s will, The birch for shafts, the sallow for the mill, The myrrh sweet-bleeding in the bitter wound, The warlike beech, the ash for nothing ill, The fruitful olive, and the platane round, The carver holm, the maple seldom inward sound. – Edmund Spenser • My end goal in the piano is to play Scott Joplin’s ‘Maple Leaf Rag. – Miranda Leek • My first semester I had only nine students. Hoping they might view me as professional and well prepared, I arrived bearing name tags fashioned in the shape of maple leaves. – David Sedaris • My love of maple syrup. I’ve been known to knock back a can over a couple days: A swig here, a swig there, and next thing you know it’s gone. It’s a habit I have to stave off. I don’t want to lose all my teeth. – Rufus Wainwright • My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position. – Arthur Conan Doyle • No clouds are in the morning sky, The vapors hug the stream, Who says that life and love can die In all this northern gleam? At every turn the maples burn, The quail is whistling free, The partridge whirs, and the frosted burs Are dropping for you and me. Ho! hillyho! heigh O! Hillyho! In the clear October morning. – Edmund Clarence Stedman • October turned my maple’s leaves to gold; The most are gone now; here and there one lingers: Soon these will slip from the twigs’ weak hold, Like coins between a dying miser’s fingers. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • Oh! to be a child again. My only treasures, bits of shell and stone and glass. To love nothing but maple sugar. To fear nothing but a big dog. To go to sleep without dreading the morrow. To wake up with a shout. Not to have seen a dead face. Not to dread a living one. To be able to believe. – Fanny Fern • One day the ‘Maple Leaf’ will make me King of Ragtime Composers. – Scott Joplin • Our lives are like islands in the sea, or like trees in the forest. The maple and the pine may whisper to each other with their leaves … But the trees also commingle their roots in the darkness underground, and the islands also hang together through the ocean’s bottom. – William James • Spring has many American faces. There are cities where it will come and go in a day and counties where it hangs around and never quite gets there. Summer is drawn blinds in Louisiana, long winds in Wyoming, shade of elms and maples in New England. – Archibald MacLeish • That`s a maple leaf, Canadian, not just for being too European but too Canadian. Not so subtly putting [Ted] Cruz`s face inside that maple leaf there. – Chris Hayes • The approach to that movie wasn’t, ‘Lets make this movie about Amsterdam and maple syrup.’ The concept was, ‘Lets go to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is fun.’ So we flew to Amsterdam with our cameras and we saw what happened and then we got back and we sat down and we said, ‘What’s the movie here.’ That’s when we realized that the movie was ‘The Maple Syrup Saga’. – Casey Neistat • The ash her purple drops forgivingly And sadly, breaking not the general hush; The maple swamps glow like a sunset sea, Each leaf a ripple with its separate flush; All round the wood’s edge creeps the skirting blaze, Ere the rain falls, the cautious farmer burns his brush. – James Russell Lowell • The food that’s never let me down in life is porridge, especially with milk and maple syrup, which is delicious. Paris isn’t a porridge place, but I can buy it in London when I’m there and bring it back with me. – Marianne Faithfull • The gaps are the thing. The gaps are the spirit’s one home, the altitudes and latitudes so dazzlingly spare and clean that the spirit can discover itself like a once-blind man unbound. The gaps are the clefts in the rock where you cower to see the back parts of God; they are fissures between mountains and cells the wind lances through, the icy narrowing fiords splitting the cliffs of mystery. Go up into the gaps. If you can find them; they shift and vanish too. Stalk the gaps. Squeak into a gap in the soil, turn, and unlock-more than a maple-universe. – Annie Dillard • The morns are meeker than they were, The nuts are getting brown; The berry’s cheek is plumper, The rose is out of town. The maple wears a gayer scarf, The field a scarlet gown. Lest I should be old-fashioned, I’ll put a trinket on. – Emily Dickinson • The rinsed foam swirled into one drain that always clogged come October when the maples dropped Canadian propaganda over everything. – Daniel Handler • The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry Of bugles going by. And my lonely spirit thrills To see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills. – Bliss Carman • The spirit of the year, like bacchant crowned, With lighted torch goes careless on his way; And soon bursts into flame the maple’s spray, And vines are running fire along the ground. – Edith M. Thomas • The stripped and shapely Maple grieves The ghosts of her Departed leaves. The ground is hard, As hard as stone. The year is old, The birds are flown. – John Updike • The sugar maple is remarkable for its clean ankle. The groves of these trees looked like vast forest sheds, their branches stopping short at a uniform height, four or five feet from the ground, like eaves, as if they had been trimmed by art, so that you could look under and through the whole grove with its leafy canopy, as under a tent whose curtain is raised. – Henry David Thoreau • The summer ends and we wonder who we are And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car And today I passed the high school, the river, the maple tree I passed the farms that made it Through the last days of the century And I knew that I was going to learn again Again, in this less hazy light I saw the fields beyond the fields The fields beyond the field – Dar Williams • The very uprightness of the pines and maples asserts the ancient rectitude and vigor of nature. Our lives need the relief of such a background, where the pine flourishes and the jay still screams. – Henry David Thoreau • The wilderness is near as well as dear to every man. Even the oldest villages are indebted to the border of wild wood which surrounds them, more than to the gardens of men. There is something indescribably inspiriting and beautiful in the aspect of the forest skirting and occasionally jutting into the midst of new towns, which, like the sand-heaps of fresh fox-burrows, have sprung up in their midst. The very uprightness of the pines and maples asserts the ancient rectitude and vigor of nature. Our lives need the relief of such a background, where the pine flourishes and the jay still screams. – Henry David Thoreau • The woman is not just a pleasure, nor even a problem. She is a meniscus that allows the absolute to have a shape, that lets him skate however briefly on the mystery, her presence luminous on the ordinary and the grand. Like the odor at night in Pittsburgh’s empty streets after summer rain on maples and sycamore. – Jack Gilbert • The world of life, of spontaneity, the world of dawn and sunset and starlight, the world of soil and sunshine, of meadow and woodland, of hickory and oak and maple and hemlock and pineland forests, of wildlife dwelling around us, of the river and its wellbeing–all of this [is] the integral community in which we live. – Thomas Berry • There is a beautiful spirit breathing now Its mellowed richness on the clustered trees, And, from a beaker full of richest dyes, Pouring new glory on the autumn woods, And dipping in warm light the pillared clouds. Morn on the mountain, like a summer bird, Lifts up her purple wing, and in the vales The gentle wind, a sweet and passionate wooer, Kisses the blushing leaf, and stirs up life Within the solemn woods of ash deep-crimsoned, And silver beech, and maple yellow-leaved, Where Autumn, like a faint old man, sits down By the wayside a-weary. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow • There were so many miracles at work: that a blossom might become a peach, that a bee could make honey in its thorax, that rain might someday fall. I thought then about the seasons changing, and in the gray of night I could almost will myself to see the azure sky, the gold of the maple leaves, the crimson of the ripe apples, the hoarfrost on the grass. – Jane Hamilton • There’s nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we’re flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him. – Andy Rooney • This fastest of all games [hockey] has become almost as much of a national svmbol as the maple leaf. – Lester B. Pearson • This hill crossed with broken pines and maples lumpy with the burial mounds of uprooted hemlocks (hurricane of ’38) out of their rotting hearts generations rise trying once more to become the forest just beyond them tall enough to be called trees in their youth like aspen a bouquet of young beech is gathered they still wear last summer’s leaves the lightest brown almost translucent how their stubbornness has decorated the winter woods. – Grace Paley • To her bier Comes the year Not with weeping and distress, as mortals do, But, to guide her way to it, All the trees have torches lit; Blazing red the maples shine the woodlands through. – Lucy Larcom • We don’t want you convicted for condiment theft. You go to that prison, you’ll meet big-time operators. Maple syrup stealers. – Deb Caletti • We must keep these waters for wild rice, these trees for maple syrup, our lakes for fish, and our land and aquifers for all of our relatives – whether they have fins, roots, wings, or paws. – Winona LaDuke • We would much prefer to see ownership in the hands of the Maple Group, if only because we would much rather see Canadian ownership of our stock exchange. What we are first of all interested in is making sure that Montreal is able to preserve that niche or expertise. – Jean Charest • When April winds Grew soft, the maple burst into a flush Of scarlet flowers. The tulip tree, high up, Opened in airs of June her multitude Of golden chalices to humming-birds And silken-wing’d insects of the sky. – William C. Bryant • When you were a kid, if you went to the Montreal Forum or a hockey game at Maple Leaf Gardens, which I did, there was a great feeling. The new stadiums don’t have it. Why don’t they have it? Building codes. – Frank Gehry • With the fans and the Toronto Maple Leafs organization, the way I’ve been treated here has been awesome. – Mats Sundin • Writing an informative yet compact thriller is a lot like making maple sugar candy. You have to tap hundreds of trees – boil vats and vats of raw sap – evaporate the water – and keep boiling until you’ve distilled a tiny nugget that encapsulates the essence. – Dan Brown • You cannot imprison me!” He bellowed. “I am Hyperion! I am-” The bark closed over his face. Grover took his pipes from his mouth. “You are a very nice maple tree. – Rick Riordan

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