#;reblog

[vincells]

get the fuck away from me...

[vincells]

doing my makeup takes usually around 2 hours. all this hard work yet I can't get a decent photo of myself. god is dead and I have killed him

[noccolibroccoli]

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

[kvothes]

so true

[vampiricbisexuality]

like to charge, reblog to cast <3

[justsomeguycore]

the front seat of the car is a type of confessional

[vincells]

"who's my big baby??"

"kys."

"oh!"

pro tip about relationships, you can call them all sorts of cheesy shit and they have to sit there cause they love u. i call my bf “lover”. if i ask him “whos the cutest boy in the whole world?” he has to stand there whole six feet of grown ass man with a news anchor voice and say “i am”.

[transit-fag]

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

[word-count-bullet-count]

I've been seeing a lot of knight posts recently. pretty great

[gumy-shark]

changing the original. this post is about him now!!!

unauthorized fucking thing. blow him up NOW!!!

[vincells]

makes me gag

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

[blorboresidue]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[medichamcham]

i really enjoy looking through reddit threads related to death metal because the replies sound like a groupchat for cartoon villains

[vincells]

@incoherentpng luka

[paging-possum]

I love when characters are always drawn in lab coats even outside the lab because it implies that 1) they are either constantly violating lab safety rules or 2) they have a second, casual lab coat purely for external use

THE TAG ‘AND BOTH ARE SEXY’ IS A JOKE ITS A FUCKING JOKE I DONT THINK BREAKING LAB SAFETY PROCEDURE IS SEXY I WAS MAKING A JOKE ABOUT FICTIONAL SCIENTISTS. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A LAB THEYRE NOT SEXY AT ALL. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UPPPPPPP.