#;poor bastard
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I think Jason should be allowed to manipulate his family with the "oh, you are my favourite, actually" line. It sounds very flattering to them (because Jason? Jason-I-Want-Nothing-To-Do-With-This-Family-Todd? Admitting you are his favourite? Oh, the hundred per cent bust of ego!) and more to say, this system of manipulation is eternal.
They can argue with each other as much as they want, but none of them would believe the other — Jason Todd is too tsundere to say something like this aloud, to each of them. So, someone is lying. For sure.
(And they are too self-assured in themselves to doubt that they are his favourite. Also, Jason makes every manipulation, specifically individual. So, it is not like he repeats the same confession and reasons. Very believable. Aka: this family needs someone to be open about their love, so they latch on everything and everyone who is willing to admit that openly)
Dick, slightly frustrated: Why are you asking me this favour? You know, I don't usually do these sort of things, I don't really... I don't know, it is too dangerous, I don't like the whole idea.
Jason, face dropping: Oh... Sorry. I shouldn't ask you, just... Dunno, I thought since you are my only big brother, and... Urgh, I guess I am still too attached to you more than to others. You are right. I'll ask Timbers or—
Dick, with his eyes suspiciously wet: oh-
Dick: NO, no. I'll do it. Don't worry. Big brother got your back, Lil Wing!
Tim, frowning: So, am I getting this right — you want me to hack into some system in someone's high school to fix the diploma of a kid who got a ONE bad grade—
Jason: He needs this scholarship. He is a kid of the streets! He can't do it otherwise, and it is not like the world would collapse if you fix one grade!
Tim: Yeah, I don't care about morals, I am just confused. Why would I want to spend my time on this, I am pretty sure—
Jason, dead ass serious: You know I don't like to communicate with this family. I only ever love talking with you, so sue me for thinking you could do me a favour.
Tim, instantly smirking: Ah, so I am your favourite... Well-well, big brother, I guess I can do this.
Damian: I am *not* going to tell you what our father is planning to do with this specific villain. Who do you think I am? An idiot?
Jason, sighing: Damn, and I really thought we had each other's back since League of Assassins.
Damian, scoffing: Emotional manipulation will not work on me.
Jason, all confused: Why would I manipulate you? From all people? I didn't raise you to fall on shit like this.
Damian: Tt.
Damian: Fine. Since, I guess, I owe you for babysitting me...
Bruce: Jason, I appreciate your... strive to help me, but nothing has ever gone well when you worked on cases like that. Let me handle this, and—
Jason, silently sitting down on the armchair, hands on his head: (sniff)
Bruce, panicked: Jaylad?..
Jason: I get it. I really do. No matter how much I love you, no matter how much I keep choosing you over anyone in this family, you don't love me anymore. I really understand it. I... I came in peace with it. I just wished you would tolerate my work... a little bit. You know?
Bruce: No, no, sweetheart, I— I am your favourite?
Jason, sniffling angrily: Who else it could be, old man?
Bruce: Oh. Oh, Jaylad— (instantly hands him the case)
(The family dinner)
Bruce, mentally humming to himself: Oh, these kids have NO idea that I am Jason's favourite because we are connected like that ^•^
Dick, mentally beaming: Oh, no one here has an idea that I am Jason's favourite because I am his big brother and protector! :>
Tim, mentally laughing evilly: Oh, these flops have no idea that I am Jason's favourite and that he wishes I was his Robin!
Damian, mentally kicking his feet: None of my family members suspect that I am Akhi's favourite because he was practically my nanny through all childhood. Tt.
Jason, munching on food: Lol
#Alfred: poor bastards have no idea that I am a real favourite#jason todd#red hood#dcu comics#dc universe#dcu#batman#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne
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Rereading Dickens Christmas Carol for the first time in a long time. And the more I reread, the more it strikes me how seamlessly a queer reading could slip within these pages. Not an especially twee reading, wherein all Scrooge's troubles start and end with grief over Jacob Marley's death. For we know that Scrooge was a "Tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner!" And we know that he and Marley were "two kindred spirits"
And perhaps that very fact makes the similarities to queer life, unintended as they most likely were by Mr. Dickens, achingly poignant to me. Scrooge is, we're told, "secret and self-contained and solitary as an oyster." How much that resonates, for so many of us who shield our innermost selves but from a select group of friends. And we know that Scrooge and Marley were, at the very least, certainly that for one another. Scrooge is Marley's sole mourner; his sole executor and beneficiary; and even Dickens notes, "friend." How reminiscent is that of queer couples across history, estranged from their families?
Scrooge lives in a set of chambers that once belonged to Marley—clearly Dickens wanted us to believe Scrooge gave up his own dwellings after Marley's death to economize. But with only a flicker of change, those chambers become _their chambers, rented by Marley as the senior member of the couple. The place is so desolate Dickens notes "one could scarcely help fancying it must have run there when it was a young house, playing at hide-and-seek with other houses, and have forgotten the way out again." The perfect abode for two queer misers who wanted no one prying into their business.
Marley's name is still above the door of Scrooge's counting-house: a mark by which, no doubt, Dickens meant to convey Scrooge such a penny-pincher he couldn't bother to have it changed. But a thing can be both! mark of frugality to ludicrous excess and! mark of mourning. "sometimes," Dickens opines, "People new to the
business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, but he answered to both names. It was all the same to him."
This is why "death of the author" matters so much, in expanding our interpretations of texts. It is vastly far from the lens Dickens would have intended. But, the idea of a ghost of queerness, so taboo in the society it could barely be glanced at sidewise in this tale that is all about the inexplicable and yet that lingers over everything becomes an astonishing lens through which to read this book. Thinking of Scrooge as a queer man, his "melancholy dinner at his usual melancholy tavern" becomes a eerie prefiguring of the hollowness of days spent by Isherwood's A Single Man. In this universe, little wonder Scrooge doubly hates mention of time with family, marriage, etc. when the precise nature of his grief is both unacknowledged and unacknowledgable.
And readings like this are vital, because the uncomfortable truth is, discrimination doesn't "discriminate between sinners and saints", to borrow a Miranda phrase. It is easy, in my liberal circles, to fight for queer people who hold "the good sorts of politics". But what about men like Michael Hess, culpable for supporting Reagan even as his contemptuous homophobia let the aids epidemic run rampant? How much harder is it to remember Michael had a partner? That he deserves empathy and compassion for being practically tarred and feathered out of the party upon his own aids diagnosis?
Expanding our imaginative universes to include queerness, not as redemptive panacea, but merely as one aspect of identity, personality, often in vicious conflict with others. Even! as we consider those stories equally worthy of being told feels vital if we're ever to truly express the complexity of what queer humanity looks like.
#forgive my less than articulate maundering#am currently listening to a truly splendid full-cast adaptation of said#Christmas Carol#and wanted to jot these things down before I forgot them in the flow of the work.#Scrooge as both! cruel bastard bitching about half a crown he'll pay Bob even though he won't be in the office on Christmas#fuming about his pockets being picked as he scathingly condemns the poor for not throwing themselves#into the oh! so! generous work-houses. And _also! deeply bereaved husband just makes him so! much more _alive and fascinating to me#if anyone knows of good Marley/Scrooge longfic where not an inch! of their dastardliness is sanded off I'd _kill for it#Jacob Marley#Ebenezer Scrooge#Ebenezer Scrooge/Jacob Marley#queer stuff#history#book babbling#lit geekery
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chess is fun until the pieces start running around and flipping you off right Leona finished the cloudcalling event yesterday! the best one for me so far, i haven't laughed so much at any other.
da bonus scribble! the chess pieces in question. not gonna finish this one but look at these sillies
#twst#disney twst#twisted wonderland#art#twst fanart#my art#cloudcalling on the savanna#twst cheka#twst kifaji#twst neji#jamil viper#kalim al asim#twst kalim#twst jamil#leona kingscholar#twst leona#gee i love the whole 'leonas smart plan' thing and how it keeps going the unintended way#like let the poor bastard have the easy way#and the jamil bits are golden too
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[Season 2 summed up]
Aziraphale's thoughts: Oh I shall team up with Crowley and make Nina and Maggie fall in love and make them confess. Oh what if I also confess then. I need to prepare everything to set the scene.
Still Aziraphale's thoughts: Ooohh a ball with dancing and tiny snacks to make it fancy and it will be like a Jane Austen novel coming to life and then I will ask Crowley to dance and all our problems will go away as I stare into his eyes....
Crowley's thoughts: Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe FUCK YOU GABRIEL Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe Keep Aziraphale safe PLEASE HOLD MY HAND AZIRAPHALE Keep Aziraphale safe JANE AUSTEN WAS AN AUTHOUR?!?! Keep Aziraphale safe-
#my autistic bastard and adhd disaster#poor souls cant communicate#AM I WRONG#good omens meta#good omens analysis#good omens 2#good omens#good omens season 2#incorrect good omens#good omens spoilers#neil gaiman#incorrect quotes#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#ineffable partners#aziraphale#anthony j crowley#david tennant#michael sheen#incorrect good omens quotes
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Do you know how many times Lancelot has sat through a stupid fucking Round Table meeting where the King is fuming about some transgression to the Crown or to Camelot? Some hidden villain that needs to be brought to justice? Some antagonistic revolutionist who stole something from Arthur or broke into some top secret part of the castle that only the King and maybe his First Knight are allowed? Where King Arthur stands with righteous fury, slams his hands on the table and announces that justice shall be served and retribution will follow with no mercy…only for Merlin to stroll in late with an easy smile, completely disregarding the King’s mood and asking what they’re talking about only to confess with a little laugh that it was him? Committing either small bouts of arson or thievery or breaking and entering all the way up to high treason only for King Arthur to take in Merlin’s cute smile and bright eyes and immediately soften before shrugging and saying that theres nothing to do about it now and they should move on? Showing entirely too much mercy and not enough punishment? Do you? Hm? Do you?
Leon says they’re up to thirty-eight this year. It’s only February.
#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#sir lancelot#sir leon#round table#knights of the round table#sir leon the long suffering#poor poor camelotians#their king is WHIPPED for a treasonous rat bastard#what can ya do?#headcanon#head canon#hc
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shitty lil comic of what i hope smilk's defeat will be like. third act breakdown and all idk

also bonus bcs i think this is what he does. he's a cries when angry guy (projecting) when he's frustrated he rips up the vanilla puppet or something idk
#need to see this bastard CRUMBLE (pun intended)#i love love love third act breakdowns and this guy is perfect for em#i wanna see him cry tbh#make the control freak lose all control etc etc#make him suffer#make him plead and be unable to lie or deceive his way out of the situation#also the intention was indeed for pv to just. pity shadow milk.#he still hates him. but he pities him#'poor thing it doesnt know what it wants' etc#ok yap over tag time#my art#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#awakened pure vanilla cookie#cookie run kingdom#crk#not a ship#but if u wanna tag like that idm
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Venti listened when the bard told him "be careful, you're not a wisp anymore, you could really hurt us". But he only really understood when a stray blade of wind, so small and thoughtless--sliced open the chest of the one he wanted to protect the most.
#zilly art#genshin impact#venti#nameless bard#bardven#tw blood#HE'S OKAY HE'S NOT DEAD I PROMISE#poor bastard went from playing with mosquito farts to slicing continents in half. u cannot tell me that adjustment period wasn't messy
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Cale lying to us about the very premise of his own story be like...
#tcf#trash of the count's family#lcf#lout of count's family#cale henituse#cale#tcf cale#meme#tcf meme#humor#tcf humor#cale is a total clown#this poor unlucky bastard#let him dream
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curse technique concept:
your technique can make anyone fall in love with you. it's not permanent, but the emotions are extremely real, and powerful, wearing off over time unless refreshed.
the technique is activated by eye contact.
you've also taken a binding vow - you cannot activate your technique at will, it's always on. this makes your technique much stronger than it should be.
so you run around with a blindfold, much like gojo, just to prevent making random people fall in love with you.
it's not so bad, really!
growing up, your parents would wear eyepatches - with only one eye making contact, the technique was half as effective!
except... if the effectiveness of the technique increases proportionally with the number of eyes... well...
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk imagines#idk#i'm thinking sukuna and gojo obviously#can you even imagine#sukuna would be SO put out. how DARE you. *glares at you and falls in love again* FUCK#gojo's fucking DEAD#poor bastard#six eyes? sounds like a disability to me#gojo: “i am so in love i'm about to throw up” sukuna: “pathetic”#you: “yuji could you help out with this curse-” sukuna: “MALEVOLENT SHRINE”#gojo x reader#sukuna x reader#sorry to my normal tl who 99% signed up for obey me im gonna spam you with jjk ideas now
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There's no way in hell he didn't know about that, right?
#elden ring#godrick the grafted#godwyn the prince of death#godwyn the golden#lmao poor bastard can't catch a break#imagine realizing something like that is just growing in your home#and you probably can't do shit about it#and if you can you are certainly not gonna try and find out#things are scary man...#val-arts
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I've peaked here
#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic fanart#sonic the hedgehog fanart#metal sonic#metal sonic fanart#metal sonic art#poor bastard#exploded#poor bastard exploded#stupid idiot#actually me irl
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Kaufmo the Parrot
Hahah pierrot, parrot...
Though I love the idea, I've already made him a dog in this AU!
#he's a greyhound. the poor bastard.#the amazing digital circus#tadc#the amazing animal circus#kaufmo#ask lilly#lillys doodles
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love that you can see the protag's sprite during dialogue in v3 because it's always so so funny when miu says something insane and you get to see the light in saihara's eyes vanish in real-time
#thinking about their one interaction where shuichi jist goes ''good morning miu :)'' and she calls the poor bastard a pussy immediately#miu iruma#shuichi saihara
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I humbly ask that when you get the chance, should u want to, please draw Dorian and Astarions wedding. If not, that’s completely okay and regardless I hope u have a good day!
ask and you shall receive <33
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#tavstarion#they're so special to me#maaaaybe i'll do a full set for this because i love it#and also the whole party in formalwear would be everything#now i need to draw the poor bastard meeting dorian's family
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Started playing Limbus Company last night and I had this exact mental image come to me when I got to the toxic gas portion of the Canto I dungeon

No one will find this funny but me, but I am my own target audience so I can live with that
#that poor bastard having to resurrect everyone at once is hilarious to me for reasons i cannot explain#limbus company#limbus company canto 1#limbus dante#limbus fanart
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Tommyinnit is a better man than me like if half this shit happened to me in the same year I’d be on the news
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