#;;no longer scouting;; (ooc)

[thescoutgaymer]

Heya fellas, sorry for not postin' recently! Now that I think about it, I haven't posted in awhile...

My life is just too awesome an' busy ta keep track with all of the amazing things I do everyday ya know?

If y'all have any ideas as ta what I can post that'd be appreciated!!

[bestboygav]

@valiisthea

I WILL conquer the Starbucks in the morning

I cannot mess this up three mornings in a row.

[shymaidxn]

I read the event before work;; ( watch me add Nerine as a muse on multi, and maybe even Drusilla because Such character development for her in this event?!?!?!?!? )

[embersofnovember]

CLIPPED WINGS

“your mind is restless,” — hearing damage

summary: stryker's taken you hostage with the means to find a way to eliminate half the global population. logan doesn't like the idea too much.

warnings: injury, slight gore(?), referenced/implied trauma and torture, strykers lowkey an obessive weirdo for a bit, a little ooc oopsie, reader's pov (part two is logan's pov), not as epic as the summary sounds i fear

wc: 1882

you aren’t sure what scares you more: the aching in your side or the realisation that you’re still here. surrounded by four rust stained walls, you’d grown to sleeping on the stone cold floor and counting each crack in the ceiling, each drop of water, each beat of your heart. 

   how long have you been here again? 

   they named you x twenty seven, whenever you were first brought here. you weren’t sure why. they all stare at you with cruelty, like you’re some insect, a weapon they only care to use against your own kind. the front man, stryker—the only name you cared to remember as each guard said his name—speaks of his ideas. his fascination, his disgust, his intense desire to eliminate what he believes, the ‘worst half of the population.’

   his own son. 

   you see other subjects—mutants—just like you and scott and logan and you wonder. 

   you saw him once. jason. you stared at him like he was one half of you and you were one half of him: exhausted. a mutant in a large base with no concept of time and a monster at both of your feet.

   you were just the end of a beginning. a ‘cure.’ an ‘experiment.’ 

   naturally, stryker didn’t talk to many people about his ambitions. you were there to fill his void, someone to talk to and not give any response back. of course, you did at first, but the longer it went on, the less fight you had in you.

   “i remember wolverine all those years ago. even if he doesn’t remember me.” he sighed, observing you as a guard strapped you down to a table, fingers unforgiving, leather tight and a dull ache in the back of your head. 

   “i used to think he was one of a kind.”

   it isn’t that your ability is exactly dangerous. not uncontrollable like scott’s, or anything like that. you could tell what people felt. an on or off sense. in a way, it felt like a curse. you could feel what others felt, but people couldn’t do the same for you. you didn’t blame them; how could you when no one asked for any of this? feeling a presence mere miles away isn’t an ability you admire, or cherish, but it isn’t one you despise. 

   which is why you’d been sent out to scout around an area with scott. a snowy area that didn’t leave very good footprints. the cold was blistering, the tips of your own fingers tingling. one of you took a wrong turn, and the fog had grown so dense it was hard to see three feet in front of you. 

   now you’re here, and they’re trying to rid you of your ability. the start of a global killer. 

   they’ve already made so much progress. 

   you don’t know where scott is; stryker tells you he’s dead, but that can’t be true. cyclops, leader of the x-men, couldn’t be dead, but now as you sit here curled into a ball on your side wondering if everyone forgot about you, you’re starting to think otherwise. 

   yesterday, they beat you within an inch of your life. the day before that, they pricked and prodded you, the day before that they didn’t let you sleep. blood used to make you feel faint. not anymore.

   moral of the story, thinking about logan is the only thing keeping you sane. 

   the drops of water are endless, irregular. the beats of your heart fall slower and slower as each day goes. stryker’s voice is firm in a similar way to logan’s, but logan’s is deeper. it’s more gruff, more honeyed. you think of the times where you both would sit on the roof of the mansion silently, slowly learning to become more and more comfortable with everyone else. as they beat you, you think of the first toke logan finally gained the confidence to sleep in your bed, or when you slept in his. as they make you bleed, you think of the time where he had a nightmare and his claws nicked your forearm, because it’s a lot better feeling pain from someone you love than someone you hate. 

   when the door slowly swings off its hinges, you stiffen. you didn’t want to be vulnerable at all. though, after a while, it was hard. you shrink in on yourself, have no choice but to live through the throb in your shoulder. 

   at least two of your ribs are broken. every breath is more of a wheeze. the position you're in, curled into a ball on your side with your back facing the long, metal door in the corner, you hug yourself a little more. it’s a protective shell you’ve learnt to build in case a guard comes in and kicks you with combat boots thick enough to crush your skull for the fun of it.   

   no, you think to yourself. not again. 

   the second a hand is on your aching shoulder, you’re scrambling, wincing in pain like a wounded animal as you shuffle back on a bruised hand and a dislocated shoulder. you attempted to put it back in, but with a sore wrist, you could only do so much. 

   “hey!” a voice says in a hushed whisper, like consoling a hysterical and understandably upset child. this time, the presence doesn’t seem so daunting. intimidating, but not cold. gruff, but not as sinister as stryker’s.

   “i made him like that, you know,” stryker grinned, flexing his wrist and pushing it into a fist as if to show who he was hinting at. 

   “made him what he already had been. an animal.” 

   you hear the voice and for a second you don’t think it’s real. how could it be? after… days, weeks, months. it doesn’t feel real, but when you shift the shaky arm obstructing your sight a little, and you see his dishevelled appearance, it’s almost too good to be true.

   the tufts of hair pointing outwards. the fuzz of his beard. the crease between his eyebrows that’s never gone away. 

   “lo?” you whisper out. 

   and at that, logan doesn’t really know what to do when he feels his heart sink further in his chest. 

   “‘s me, baby, it’s logan,” he nods, as if assuring both you and himself. 

   though you’re still unsure, this time you don’t let yourself pull away when he reaches out again, hands a lot more softer than before. sure, you flinched, and logan had grimaced at that, but the wonder in your eyes makes your vision swim a little, because he’s really here. 

   “it’s you,” you manage to say. throughout your time in the underground base, over time you spoke less and less. only when spoken to, which, even then, wasn’t often.  

   despite everything, it’s still you. 

   his beard looks a little more grown out than you remember. his teeth are the same shade of white. his skin is as rough as always, like his personality, similar to the way he retreats back into his far more reserved ways after a bad day, and he’s here. 

   “lemme look at you,” he murmurs in that drawl of his. a hand cups your jaw. a tender thumb grazes the apple of your cheek and you’re too busy gazing at him. it’s as if you’re trying to commit him to memory. eyes are darting all along his face, looking at every feature and trying to figure out which one you missed most.

   logan’s been able to stomach a lot of things, but he isn’t sure if he can stomach this. 

   even when they tried to take away your abilities, you can still feel. although it exhausts you every time, you still can, and you feel the shock settle in his regenerative blood vessels when he swallows. for the first time in a long time, terror. it’s subtle, but you pick up on it. 

   “fuck,” he whispers under his breath. you didn’t hear it. he looks up at you, eyes not lying or being able to conceal the sheer amount of both relief and dread that’s washing over him in a violent wave. he’s never liked water. “think you can walk f���me?” 

   a silence engulfs the two of you. the door is still open. maybe it isn’t a trap. you really are being saved. a wave of relief crashes over you so intensely you almost feel as though you could live without the burden again. despite the shrieking alarm outside in the halls (that you can’t really hear anyway) and the crimson flashing from the alert, you can’t believe it. unable to trust your wording, or your head, you nod.

   which you end up regretting, anyway. 

   logan hooks an arm around your waist, the other pulling your arm behind the back of his neck to support most of your weight (since when did you grow so light?), but not even when he holds you to his side, it doesn’t help. your legs are giving way, your knees numb and you can’t help the strangled noise in the back of your throat.

  it’s three poorly strung together words. it’s murmuring in the background as you lay on a table, unable to move partly in fear of what would happen if you did. it’s smelling the damp and using it as your only comfort for when it got a little too cold. he’s trying to be careful, but he’s desperate. 

   “i’m gonna carry you, okay?” he murmurs, but you don’t even take it in before he’s already curling an arm under the back of your knees and your back, lifting you into his arms like you were nothing more than a sack of flour.

   he feels warm. strangely like the sun, even if his personality reflected everything but that. you’ve always been tempted to fly a little too close to the sun.

   “i can walk—“

   “don’t.” his voice is demanding—the smallest waver hidden in the very back of his throat, near his tonsils. he’ll bleed for you. over and over. for a second, he wonders if you can hear the pounding in his chest, but he pushes the thought away like everything else in his life, and he walks.

   he walks for a while, it seems.

   past dead bodies, oddly splayed out in ways that similarly reminded you of yourself. flickering lights and crackles of sparks. electricity. shouting. gunfire. 

   “you came,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him. it had been a battle trying to convince yourself everyone still remembered you after stryker was breathing it down your neck. 

   “‘course i did,” he murmurs, more focused on the fact that you’re alive and breathing rather than listening. he’s more focused on getting you out so he can look at you and love you like breathing. his eyes are clouded, darkened with unwarranted and directed anger. 

   he’s oblivious to who stryker even is, but you’re not, and faintly, before you pass out with agony in your eyes and threatening to spill down your cheeks, you feel the taste of snow on your tongue.

   snow, one that reminds you of the last moments you were with scott before this all happened. purity, a nice cold chill that shakes your already trembling bones. 

   “don’t ever do that again.” 

   and whatever he means, you don’t plan to.  masterlist!!

[animementrash]

AOT veterans headcanons

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe

Tags: just random thoughts on the main three vets, they/them pronouns for Hange, some may be ooc?, SFW only

A/N: Here are my headcanons based on how I percieve them, I have some more for the rest of the characters but I'm posting only three for now because they are longer than expected. (I also have NSFW ones but I'm waiting until I get more comfortable with sharing my thoughts before posting those) Hope you like them and thank you for reading!

Levi Ackerman:

Washes his hands constantly, almost too many times a day.

Would rather fight a titan with an arm tied to his back than do the dishes. The mere thought of soggy leftovers sticking to his hands makes him gag.

Avoids going out to public places because he’s aware of his popularity inside the walls and doesn’t know how to act when he’s the center of attention.

Following the previous topic and contrary to popular beliefs, this man would never reject a gift/letter/trinket given to him by a local. It can be the most random thing but he will always accept them with a small nod, he’s deeply thankful for their blind trust in him.

Yawns and stretches ALL THE TIME, he is known for sleeping as little as 3 or 4 hours per night and while he’s able to go on with his day without problems, this doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling drowsy all the time so he’s almost always letting out quiet yawns and stretching his arms to ease the soreness of his body.

Sneezes a lot when cleaning. It’s not rare at all to hear him sneeze when he’s dusting or sweeping, if someone says “Bless you” to him he’ll quietly mumble a “thanks” before getting back to cleaning.

Has a favorite seat at the dining table and gets grumpy when someone takes that place before him.

Speaking of dinner, this man eats SLOW AS HELL, he’s usually one of the last to finish his meal.

Is constantly thirsty because he refuses to drink anything but tea.

Has memorized everyone’s footsteps and knows who’s coming to his office before they even knock the door.

Cleans and calibrates his ODM gear daily even when he’s not planning on using it.

Doesn’t like to be in new recruit’s trainings because he gets anxious when most of them hurt themselves while getting used to work with the ODM gear.

Trims his hair weekly, most people believe he shapes his haircut and has hairdresser-like skills when in reality all he does is trim it to avoid losing the shape it already has.

Can’t read cursive even if his life depends on it. One time Erwin handed him a memo written in cursive and he got so frustrated because he didn’t understand what it said that he ended up ignoring the memo. Turns out Erwin needed him to turn in some reports earlier than usual and got scolded because of it.

Loves eating fruit. Fruit was considered an ultra luxury item in the underground so when he realized how much fruit he could eat once he was in the scouts, he got obsessed with it.

Whines and complains a lot for a person who’s known to be grumpy and stoic. Ask him to do something he dislikes and you’ll hear a bunch of huffs and puffs before he goes to do it.

Talks with his horse. A lot.

Wanders through the empty halls when he can’t sleep and doesn’t bother to bring a candle to light the path, the cadets now believe there is a ghost haunting the headquarters.

Erwin Smith:

Hums and whistles a lot, he’s always making some kind of noise while signing reports or walking down the halls. You can hear this man before seeing him.

Takes more time than he’s willing to admit in styling his hair every morning. He is a firm believer that appearance matters a lot so he puts a lot of effort on his.

 Has a specific pair of glasses he uses when reading, almost no one knows about it besides Hange who helped him choose the right ones.

Talks in his sleep, it can vary between mumbled nonsense to full on speeches.

Has a journal that is more like a diary because he writes all his thoughts/hopes/fears on it but he’d be damned if someone refers to it as a diary and not a journal.

Is lowkey afraid of insects but plays it cool when he comes across one because he doesn’t want to come out as “weak”.

Snaps his fingers when trying to remember something.

People think he’s a very wise and smart man because it’s very common to find him “deep in thoughts”, truth is he just tends to zone out and disassociates like crazy.

Loves dogs, he’s the biggest dog person in the scouts. Often stops and pets dogs he finds while taking a walk downtown.

Cleans and polishes his shoes every night before going to sleep. Whenever his face gets reflected on the shiny shoe a smile appears on his lips.

Not always but sometimes sneaks out behind the barracks to smoke some cigarettes, tries to hide all evidence afterwards because Levi will start complaining about the awful smell.

Would rather be late to an early meeting than go without shaving, has to shave daily because by the end of the day he already has a shadow beard.

Is well aware of his attractiveness and uses it to his advantage when needed.

Visits his father’s grave every Sunday and spends most of the day there. Sometimes brings a book and reads it out loud.

Smacked his face after trying to see through a clear glass Levi had cleaned earlier, after laughing for several minutes Levi scolded him for dirtying his glass.

His wardrobe is full of neutral-colored clothes, he sucks at matching outfits so goes with the safest options.

Knows very well Levi can’t read cursive so when he’s bored, he scribbles gibberish on a paper and gives it to Levi saying it’s important to get it done by end of day just to get a laugh.

Has relatives living inside the walls who refuse to acknowledge him, some of them even pretend he died the same day his dad did.

Has an ongoing bet with Hange to see who makes Levi laugh the most, so far Erwin is winning by one but only because he accidentally fell from his horse and Levi found it hilarious.

Arm-wrestles with Miche a lot, especially after they had a few beers.

LOVES dancing, this man knows how to dance and isn’t afraid to show it. (Sadly for him he also loves to clap when dancing and this makes everyone laugh)

Hange Zoe:

Is both street-smart and book-smart, is the only person who has beaten Erwin in a chess match and also beaten Levi in a wrestling match.

Almost always has pencils sticking out of their hair, they place them there for a moment and totally forget about them.

Levi restricted them from using fountain pens because they would spill ink and stain everything and everywhere.

The reason why their glasses have straps on is not only because the risk of them falling off is smaller but also because according to them “it makes them look cooler”.

Wanted to join Erwin in giving instructions to Levi written in cursive but since their handwriting wasn’t as good as Erwin’s they opted for giving instructions in riddles, this makes Levi even more furious than the cursive ones.

Just like Levi, Hange takes a long time when eating dinner but the reason for this is not because they eat slow but because they talk a lot. By the end of the meal their food is either cold or soggy.

Tried to bite a titan once just to show them how it felt to be “on the receiving side”.

Their horse has tiny braids on its mane made by them when they were nervous.

Refuses to brush their hair because their ideas may “fall off” if they do it.

Tackled Levi once when they saw an “eerie figure” roaming the headquarters halls and thought it was a new species.

Has read more books than anyone in the scouts, knows a little of almost everything.

Says “wait, what?” at least twice when talking with someone, before that person can repeat themselves, they interrupt with a completely related answer and expect the person to continue speaking as if nothing happened.

Almost all cadets go to them for advice, they take this very seriously and never joke around when listening to their concerns.

Just like Erwin, they have relatives living nearby the headquarters but they’re not interested in one another.

Has a tendency to bite their nails when nervous, all his fingernails are short and bumpy because of it.

Is very quick at math and calculations.

Always carry a pocket notebook with them and writes anything that catches their attention so they can investigate about it later.

LOVES bugs, is always trying to catch them and examinate them. One time they trapped a cockroach and created a full design of an “armored suit” based on them, when Erwin asked where they got the inspiration for it, they just placed the cockroach in Erwin’s desk and Erwin almost fainted on the spot.

Randomly goes to Miche and asks him “what do I smell like?”, Miche stopped participating on their little riddles when Hange decided to put rotting food in their pockets before asking.

All their books have little notes and highlighted parts on them. Sometimes has two or three copies of the same book because their view on certain parts changes over time.

Takes pinky-promises as a legit way of commitment.

[helloalycia]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] — 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀

two / masterlist / wattpad

summary: after befriending one of the Natblidas, you don't expect for her to become as important in your life as she is. But she's only on track to becoming Commander, so your feelings can never come first.

warning/s: usual warnings that come with the 100 such as mentions of violence and injuries etc.

author's note: okay so i've literally had writer's block for what feels like forever and this was requested a while ago. I've finally finished it (though i'm not content with the ending and couldn't for the life of me think of an alternative lol). Nonetheless, I hope you like it! It'll have two parts in total :)

also if anyone thinks Lexa is ooc, this is just how i imagine her to be growing up and pre-Costia okay, sue me

6 years old...

I followed my father as we approached the Tower in the centre of Polis. Apparently it was where the Commander lived, at least that's what everyone said, but I'd never actually seen him before. He was always protecting Polis, fighting enemy clans, hunting and other Commander-stuff – my dad said so – which was why he was hardly out in public.

For whatever reason, he was more of a figment of my imagination than an actual leader, but I'd never admit that aloud. Despite this, I always found his home – the Tower – very impressive, and whenever I'd accompany my father on visits, I'd be forever fascinated. My father was an apothecary and regularly made deliveries to the Commander's personal healer in the Tower, and so he always brought me with him.

I followed him through the winding corridors and past some guards dotted around and then we reached the healer's room on the ground floor. As usual, I was told to wait outside whilst business was conducted, but this time it took longer than usual. I heard laughter from inside the healer's room and figured my father and the healer were having a nice catch up which, from experience, would take forever.

Naturally, I wandered off momentarily, down the familiar hallway and peeking through open doors. My eyes drew to a particular room that was filled with a dozen or so young children, near enough my age though some a little older, and I knew who they were instantly.

The Natblidas.

I'd seen them around before on previous visits and also heard a lot about them from others in the city. They were black-blooded and able to take the Flame that the Commander had. Only those with black blood could be a Natblida and next in line for the throne once the Commander passed. They were scouted constantly, brought in from all different clans, trained to fight in Polis and eventually fight in a Conclave once the Commander was dead. The last one standing would lead next.

It was a difficult concept to grasp, especially so young, but I knew enough to know it was important. I didn't know any of the Natblidas personally, but whenever I saw them, I was always intrigued.

"What are you looking at?"

I jumped, startled at the voice from behind me. Turning around, I was ready to defend myself in case I was about to get in trouble, but all my words betrayed me once my eyes landed on the young girl before me, no older than I was. She was a little taller than me, had long curly brown hair and the brightest green eyes I'd ever seen. I wasn't sure what was so different about her to other kids I'd met, but I was certain she was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen in my little life.

"Hello? Do you understand me?" she asked in fluent Trigedasleng, quirking a brow.

"I– yes," I answered quickly, acutely aware of the butterflies in my stomach. Though, at the time, I'd never experienced butterflies so I wasn't sure why I felt like I was floating. "Sorry. I was just waiting for my father. He delivers medicine to the healer."

She crossed her arms, eyes looking me up and down with an air of maturity that other kids in the city didn't possess. "What's your name?"

"Y/N. What's yours?"

Her eyes met mine again, though this time her shoulders relaxed. "Lexa."

I smiled a little, offering out my forearm as I'd seen my father do whenever greeting others. "It's nice to meet you, Lexa."

She did the same, gripping mine and shaking it slightly. "You too, Y/N."

"Are you a Natblida?" I asked curiously.

She nodded.

"Wow," I muttered without meaning to, and then a small smile graced her lips and the butterflies only intensified.

"I have to get back to class," she said with a hint of amusement. "Will you come back? Next time? With your father?"

I nodded a little too quickly. "I always do."

She pressed her lips together, nodding, before moving past me to return to her class. But not before glancing at me once more, saying, "Goodbye, Y/N. See you next time."

I stupidly gaped at her, managing to wiggle my fingers in a goodbye wave, before catching the sparkle in her eye as she closed the door behind her.

I suppose you could say that was where both my friendship and crush on Lexa truly began.

It was from that point onwards where I would see her almost every time I visited the Tower with my father, which was, at most, a couple of days a week. Between finding moments to chat whilst my dad did his job or watching her train with the other Natblidas, it was safe to say my crush, and our friendship, blossomed with time.

I learnt about her experience as a Natblida, including how she'd been there the longest of all the other kids because she'd been brought to Polis as a two-year-old and had been training since. It explained why she was so mature for her age and why she took her role as a Natblida with the utmost seriousness. Nonetheless, she was still a kid like me, and that was why it was so easy to befriend one another.

She asked me tons of questions about my life, since our day-to-day responsibilities differed so much. Her days were filled with training, learning and shadowing warriors, whereas mine were filled with shadowing my father, learning about medicine and exploring all there was to know about the human body. I wanted to be a healer when I was older and so my dad was preparing me for that all he could.

It was easy enough to become closer to Lexa, so much that she began sneaking out to spend more time with me outside of her Natblida responsibilities. It was easy enough since she was practically a top student, so nobody ever suspected a thing.

And that was how we became best friends.

—

8 years old...

"You should let me train you more."

I scoffed and pushed Lexa off me with my sword, making her laugh as she backed up. She had the afternoon free from her Natblida responsibilities, so we were training together in the woods so she could get the extra practice in but also spend time with me.

"I'm not the one training to be Heda, so I think I'll stick to medicine," I retorted knowingly.

She rolled her eyes playfully before getting into a stance with her sword once more.

"This isn't fun for me, y'know," I reminded her as I, too, got into a stance. "Can't we go swimming now?"

She swung her sword just as I finished my sentence and I was quick to raise my own, otherwise my face would have been sliced in half.

"Soon," she got out between swings.

I struggled to keep up with her, not as accustomed to sword fighting as she was. Sometimes it was easy to forget this was all she knew, and our ideas of spending time together were very different.

She swung her sword with force, knocking mine from my grasp. I watched it clatter to the ground before hers found the tip of my chin with satisfaction.

"Not fair," I grumbled, and her grin was staring across from me, mischievous glint matching the glint of her sword.

"It's too easy," she said between a chuckle, before lowering her sword.

I feigned annoyance as I went to grab my sword, picking it up from the mud it landed in. This gave me an idea and I began to smile to myself as I grabbed my sword, as well as dipping the tips of my fingers in the mud.

"Your fighting is very good, Lexa," I complimented her, standing up and approaching her. "But you have to be fierce if you're to be Heda. Didn't you know that?"

She furrowed her brows, almost offended. "I am fierce!"

"I think some face paint would help," I said nonchalantly, using her momentary confusion as opportunity to swipe my mud-covered fingers across her cheek with a grin.

She squealed as she stepped back, eyes scrunching shut. I laughed at her expression as she wiped her cheek subconsciously, only spreading the mud further across her cheekbone.

"There," I spoke with pride. "Perfect."

Her bright eyes met mine competitively, an attempt to intimidate me, but I knew her long enough to find it anything but. Soon enough, her pursed lips curved into a smile and she was laughing alongside me.

"I suppose I deserved that," she admitted, shaking her head.

"You could actually wear some war paint though," I said after studying her face a little longer, both from genuine awe at how pretty she looked, even after training, and pure curiosity. "It suits you."

Thinking I was teasing, she shoved me back slightly, and I chuckled at the pink dusting her cheeks.

Looking back, it was how we discovered she actually did suit war paint, and it did indeed make her look more fierce. I was touched when I saw her wear it properly from then on out.

—

12 years old...

"Lexa, slow down!" I exclaimed, hands gripping her waist tightly.

Her laughter rang through the trees as she continued to ride her horse quickly, galloping through the forest and back to Polis. We had gone on a horse ride and picnic for lunch, or more of a late afternoon snack since it was the only time she could sneak off, but she always purposely rode fast, knowing it made me nauseous and dizzy.

Eventually she slowed down as we approached the edge of the city, coming to a halt by the west entrance. As soon as we stopped, I let go of her and slipped off the horse dizzily, leaning against a tree for support.

"I hate you," I mumbled, trying to steady myself.

"No you don't," she said between laughter, jumping off her horse and holding the reins.

I glared at her, half joking, before taking a deep breath. Once I was sure I wouldn't vomit, I straightened up, ready to walk the rest of the way.

"C'mon," she said, voice void of teasing and a gentle smile on her lips as she held out her hand.

I sighed but accepted her hand, letting her pull me to her side as we walked together. It was quiet as we walked through the city, though steadily getting busier as we approached the centre. As we walked, I remembered I wanted to share something with Lexa. It was actually the whole reason I wanted to hang out with her today, but the day got away from me and I completely forgot to mention it.

"So, I have some good news to share," I said, glancing over at her.

She quirked a brow, intrigued, returning my stare.

"My father set me up with a volunteer position," I started, pocketing my hands.

"Wow, really?" she asked excitedly, stopping to give me her full attention. "Where?"

I smiled a little, appreciative of her genuine interest. She knew I was trying to get some sort of official volunteering work from a skilled healer so I could learn.

"Well, you know how he delivers to the Commander's healer regularly?" I hinted playfully.

Her eyes widened slightly. "Really? You're going to be working with the Commander's personal healer?"

My smile widened as I nodded bashfully. "Yeah. It's only temporary, but–"

"Y/N, that's amazing!" she cut me off with a bright smile, before pulling me in for a hug. "I'm so proud of you!"

My whole face grew warm as she hugged me, not expecting it at all. It was safe to say I still had a huge crush on her, but I was too afraid to say anything, so it was little moments like these that I'd cling to with delusion.

"Who knows? Maybe when I become Commander, you can be my personal healer," she said once she pulled away, emerald eyes meeting mine with amazement.

I chuckled, shaking my head at her overexcitement. "You'd be sick of me by then, Lexa."

She glared at me playfully, shoving me in the shoulder. "Never."

I sighed, rolling my eyes with a ghost of a smile on my lips. Secretly, I hoped we'd stay in each other's lives forever. But neither of us knew what the future held, even if we liked to plan it out anyway. 

—

14 years old...

The volunteering job I took with the Commander's personal healer turned out to be more permanent than I thought, as even two years on, I was still working with him and learning more than I ever could have learned anywhere else.

Doing so meant I was at the Tower every day, learning about different medicines, which thankfully I knew a lot about already because of my father, and first aid. I was learning stuff my father couldn't teach me, like cutting out an infection or cauterising a wound. And those were just the little things.

Being at the Tower so often also meant I saw Lexa more and more, without having to find time around her busy schedule. Of course, it was quite literally that – seeing each other and that was it. She was still training as a Natblida and I was still working as a volunteer, but catching a glimpse of her smile every now and then was enough to leave me on cloud nine for the rest of the day.

Of course, as Lexa's cohort grew older, it meant the pressures were getting stronger, and it was certainly having its effect. The last place I expected to see Lexa one afternoon was knocking on the door to the healer's room.

"Lexa," Nyko, the Commander's healer, noticed her first. "Is everything okay?"

Lexa avoided his eyes shamefully as she stepped inside. "Yes. Well– no. I was out hunting and a wild dog bit my arm..."

Only when she said that did my eyes lower to her forearm that she was clutching, black blood staining her sleeve.

"Come in, come in!" Nyko encouraged, before giving me a look that I knew all too well. "Y/N, will you…?"

I was already making a move to clear a space on the bed for her, though this time I was more concerned than usual for our newest patient. In my two years since volunteering, Lexa had never needed to visit. She rarely got injured and when she did, it was never anything serious.

She took a seat on the bed, stretching out her arm on the table next to her for Nyko to take a better look at. I stood beside him, though my eyes were trained on her. She was avoiding my gaze, distracted and seemingly unbothered by her wound. This was very unlike her and I had a million questions on the tip of my tongue.

"I'm sorry, dear, but I'll have to cut your sleeve," Nyko said gently, to which she barely shrugged in response.

My attention fell back to her arm, where Nyko was uncovering her wound with some scissors to her sleeve. It was a nasty bite with sharp, deep teeth marks and a black bloody mess left in its wake.

As usual, Nyko began to explain what he was doing as he did it, cleaning the blood and disinfecting the wound, which elicited a soft groan from Lexa. Then he began to spread an ointment over the top to stop any bacteria infecting the area further before holding out some bandages towards me.

"Think you can wrap her up?" he asked.

I nodded, accepting the bandages and trading places with him. Carefully, I wrapped her wound and taped it off, glancing at her as I did. She still wouldn't look my way and it concerned me.

"Looks good, Y/N," Nyko complimented, patting me on the back, before glancing at Lexa and noticing her distracted self too. "I'll be back. Need some more water. You okay here?"

It was obvious what he was doing, knowing a little of our friendship, and I appreciated it massively. Nodding his way, he offered me a small smile before leaving the room.

"Lexa," I said softly, squeezing her hand gently to earn her attention. "What happened?"

She sighed. "I told you. Dog bite."

"I know that, but... how?"

She shrugged, letting go of my hand and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. "I was a little distracted I guess."

I frowned, taking in her expression. She looked more tired than usual, her eyes darkened with fatigue.

"You can talk to me," I reminded her. "It's me."

She licked her lips thoughtfully before finally lifting her gaze to meet mine. She stared for a moment, as if debating whether to share how she was feeling, before saying, "Anya asked me to be her second."

Unsure if I'd heard correctly, it took me a second longer to respond. "What? She– what? Lexa, that's– that's great! Isn't it?"

Anya was one of the Commander's most esteemed warriors, having risen through the ranks so quickly at such a young age. For her to recognise Lexa's talent and ask to be her mentor was huge! So, what was the problem?

Lexa creased her brows as she looked down to her hands, one of which was already picking at her bandage subconsciously. I placed my hand on hers, stopping her, and she paused but didn't look up.

"What if I'm not good enough?" she said in such a quiet voice that it didn't sound like it belonged to her.

I raised my brows with disbelief. Lexa was never one to doubt herself, ever. She had no need to! But it made sense why she was so distracted lately. She'd clearly been putting a lot of pressure on herself.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked.

She gave me a disapproving look, upset.

"Lexa," I spoke truthfully, resting a hand on her shoulder. "You're seriously one of the most talented Natblidas there are. Clearly Anya recognises as much if she asked you to be her second."

"I know, but–"

"It's not a test," I told her, eyes flickering between hers. "She wants to make you better. To teach you all she can so you can go on to win Conclave when the time comes. You want that, don't you?"

She nodded weakly.

"Then you're going be okay," I reassured her. "You're more than good enough and she should be lucky to have you."

Lexa swallowed thickly, still uncertain. "Aren't you biased?"

I couldn't help but laugh a little. "Probably. But I also know that everybody sees how amazing of a warrior you are. You're seriously talented. You're intelligent. You're everything the future Commander needs to be. You shouldn't doubt yourself."

She blinked, eyes softening at my words, and I knew I'd said the right thing. Standing up, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me tight, tucking her head into my shoulder. I smiled slightly, returning the hug and rubbing her back.

"Thank you," she muttered, not quite breaking away just yet.

"I mean it," I replied, holding her for as long as she wanted me to.

After a moment, she pulled apart, though her hands lingered on my shoulders for a moment, and mine on her waist. My eyes naturally fell to hers, enamoured by the flecks of gold in her irises, and then I started to admire how beautiful she looked, how she was growing into her features more and more every day. For the first time since knowing her, I really wanted to know what it would be like to kiss her, and that's when I knew I was in too deep.

She had the weight of her world on her shoulders, and the responsibilities of a Natblida weren't light. The last thing she needed was her friendship in ruins because I couldn't keep my thoughts to myself.

"Now, please get some rest and pay attention on your hunts," I said with an awkward smile, taking a subtle step back to distract myself from thoughts of her. "You worried me with this injury of yours."

She cracked a smile, looking down shyly, only intensifying the butterflies in my stomach. "I will. Sorry."

She was my best friend, nothing more. I had to keep telling myself that, that was all.

—

16 years old...

The day that nobody expected had finally arrived. It was a day like any other, myself working with Nyko in the Tower – I was officially in his employ as of last year – when word spread about the Commander's passing.

He'd died in his sleep last night, succumbing to wounds from a battle with Azgeda that took place days ago. It was shocking, since Nyko and I had done all we could and genuinely believed he'd pull through, but his body wasn't as young as it used to be so it only made sense.

His death meant Conclave had to take place immediately, the following morning, and the first person who came to mind was Lexa. I wanted to go see her as soon as I could, but there was no time because of all the preparations that were taking place. All the Natblidas were off limits until the morning, so I couldn't stop by until then.

I thought I'd missed my chance when I slept in and realised the first fight was to take place within the hour. Relief spread through me when I spotted Lexa following some other Natblidas down the hall in the Tower, no doubt to join the rest of them on the battle grounds. I wasn't too late.

As soon as her eyes found mine, they widened with surprise before she slowed down her steps, letting the others walk past her subtly. I joined her side instantly as they left the hall, the two of us meeting in an embrace.

"I thought you weren't coming," she said uneasily, making my heart prick with guilt.

"I'm sorry, they wouldn't let me yesterday and I was running late this morning," I explained apologetically, pulling apart to meet her gaze. "I could never not come to see you, Lexa."

She swallowed visibly, nodding. Though she was as prepared as could be for Conclave, it was still a daunting experience and she seemed nervous.

"You're going to be fine," I told her, taking her hands in mine and squeezing them. "And when you become the Commander, I'm still going to be here for you. Like always."

"If," she corrected.

I shook my head. "You're going to win, Lexa."

"Luna is just as good," she pointed out.

"And you've trained longer than her," I retorted. "Longer than any of them. You can do it."

She pursed her lips, exhaling through her nose.

"I'll be watching front row," I said, eyes darting between hers. "Waiting for you when it's over. When they announce your win."

Her jaw tensed uneasily. "If they don't, this'll be the last time we speak."

I tried my hardest to keep smiling for her sake, but the truth of her words hit me hard. I didn't doubt she wouldn't win, but in the tiniest of chances she didn't, then I'd lose her for good. And then what? Who would I have left?

"We'll speak again," I said with certainty.

She wasn't as confident as I was, her gaze faltering, lip trembling ever so slightly. "But if we don't, Y/N, I... I need you to know that you mean the world to me."

"Lexa, don't–"

"No, just listen," she said firmly, squeezing my hands. "I never had a family. Anya is the closest I have, but it's not the same. Not like it is with you. I couldn't have done this without you, Y/N. Any of it."

I scoffed, teary-eyed at her words. "You definitely could've."

"No," she disagreed, licking her lips.

My heart soared in my chest at the way she spoke, like this would be the final time. It couldn't be, and yet– what if it was? What if this was the last time I could ever tell her the truth about how I'd felt about her all these years? She just opened up to me, so shouldn't I? Could I?

The words were stuck in my throat, as they'd been since I first met her. I wanted to tell her the truth, even if it was the last thing I ever said to her, but I couldn't. I was a coward, as always.

"What is it?" she asked with concern, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I smiled sadly, shaking my head. Even as she watched me with a tender gaze, I couldn't bring it in myself to ruin this. Not now, not when it could be our last moment together.

"Nothing, now come here," was all I said, pulling her in for a final hug so she couldn't see the tears slipping from my eyes.

Maybe a coward was all I would ever be.

—

It was no surprise that Lexa won Conclave and was crowned our new Commander. Even as I watched her fight, occasionally faltering at the swipe of a sword or a lucky punch, I didn't doubt she wouldn't make it. My heart was in my throat a few times, sure, but she always pulled through.

That same evening, she received the Flame in a private ceremony, whilst the rest of the city celebrated the appointment of their new Commander. Meanwhile, I was counting down the minutes until I could finally go and visit her, congratulate her, hold her.

It was late, well into the night, when I was finally allowed upstairs to the Commander's quarters – Lexa's new home – to see her. As soon as the doors opened, I pulled her in for a tight hug.

"You did it," I breathed out with relief as her hands wrapped around my waist. "I knew you would. Congratulations, Lexa. Or should I say Heda."

She chuckled slightly, also relieved, and didn't let go of me just yet. Finally, after a moment, she pulled apart and met my gaze. I couldn't help but notice the cut on her lip and the bruise darkening around her left eye. A small price to pay for the win.

"I have a surprise for you," she said softly, not letting go of my hands.

I tilted my head, confused.

She continued, "You've been working your way to becoming a healer, like Nyko. You're almost there. And as Heda, I'll need my own personal one."

"And you have one," I reminded her. "Nyko."

She shook her head, a soft smile tugging at her lips. "That was the previous Commander's. I need my own and Nyko said he trusts you. He will still work for me, but I want you to be mine." I quirked a brow, and she quickly corrected with pink cheeks, "My personal healer, I mean. I want you by my side like we always said."

I swallowed hard, taken aback. "Are you sure?"

She laughed, the room brightening at the sound. "Of course I'm sure!"

I exhaled quietly, smiling all the same. It was hard to believe what she was saying. Yes, we'd discussed this as kids, but I never saw it actually happening. And so quickly? She'd only been crowned Heda hours ago!

"I'd love to," I said appreciatively.

Her smile widened, eyes sparkling with excitement. I almost got lost in the shades of green and gold, heart soaring at the fact that she was still alive, mostly unhurt, the new Commander and right by my side again. The high I was on was unmatched and I truly considered lightening the load even more by telling her the truth about my feelings for her.

But it was the wrong time. She'd just been given a massive responsibility. I couldn't add to that. And I'd been rewarded with so much, including her safety. I needed to be grateful for what I had, not risk ruining it with what I didn't.

[monodramatic-cannibal]

Renegade!Nightmare

Info post about the au

(If characters seem OOC ((Out Of Character)) it's beacause I'm going off of my own interpretations/headcanons/fandom versions. So please be aware of that)

More info under the cut (Info is subject to change at any time. Info may be added to as well)

(TW: Mentions of abuse, from his past, only slight mentions of it)

(when using Night or Mare, referring to whatever version has that name, but when I use Nightmare I'm talking about both of them.) 

-Jobs in the group: sudo-leader whenever the others in charge aren’t around, scouting and scavenging, anything that requires a brain really, keeping the murder trio/Cross/Error in check

Weapons of choice: sniper and staff that can turn to duel blades, when as Mare anything on them can be a weapon really.

-Head canon voice for Night: ??

-Head canon voice for Mare: ??

-Uses He/Him (main pronoun), They/Them and It/It’s, but really couldn't care less about pronouns, so doesn’t care if people use others for him.

-One of the more smarter people in the group. Acts as a sudo-leader when Sci isn’t around.

-Is able to distinguish what type of negative emotion someone has, either they be mad or sad. But cannot distinguish what type of positive emotions someone has. -He’s always been small, when they were first created there were more positive emotions than negative, leading to Dream getting more power than Nightmare, which led Dream to grow taller. When things started to get more negative though it was quick, so the tree took most of the negative energy power from Nightmare, leading to him still being small, which the tree then used that power for the apocalypse. Night did kind of get the power and height from the negative energy after that, it just didn’t happen specifically to him. It happened to Mare.

-Due to what happened before the apocalypse (abuse from people), he doesn’t really like people yelling, he also doesn’t really like violence. This includes violence on Wraiths too, if he can avoid any sort of violence he does. A lot of it still affects him to this day, but he feels more comfortable with the people around him now in the group, so tries not to let himself worry too much about things.

-Has a soft voice, due to not talking much in his past, it hurts if he tries to raise his voice or talk too long. Is getting better with his voice though, due to using it more than what he did when he was guarding the tree. Will give up on sentences mid-way through them if he struggles too much with it. 

-pretty similar backstory to the og Nm, except he never ate the apples, since the tree caused the apocalypse before that happened. He also looked closer to the og Nm as well with his outfit, but due to the apocalypse he took it as a sign he doesn't have to do his job of being a guardian for the tree then changed to more casual clothes.

Unlike the og Nm he was guarding the tree for a lot longer than him (around 450+ years), guarding the tree long after the og apple incident. 

-Despite him not really doing his job any more he still wears the crown. It’s just something he doesn’t really want to let go of. So he’s rarely seen without it. If anyone asks he just always says he’s so used to having it there that it feels weird without it there. Which is partly the truth. Mare on the other hand sometimes will have it off, due to the fact it's Night’s and people might recognize it.

-Dream and Nightmare are both trained in combat, due to being the tree guardians they’ve both had different forms of combat in them since they started existing. Nightmare’s fighting style focuses more on offense. When fighting side by side they fight in such a way to cover each other's blind spots. 

-His emotional state actually got slightly better when the apocalypse happened, since he wasn’t in constant contact with people harassing him. Sure, a lot of people still hated him, but he only saw people occasionally before he joined the group. Due to being a guardian he had to endure people/monster harassment for around 448 years.

-Originally saw himself only as Nightmare, and only let Dream call him Night, but after the apocalypse and the appearance of his other self he started letting people use Night with him, so he could call his other self Mare, when people use his full name now he has a mini heart attack since he thinks people know about Mare and are referring to them both together. 

-The two versions can communicate with each other via speaking in their head/mind, but the one out/in control can also speak out loud to talk to the other. Normally, Night doesn’t speak out loud too much around people, but Dream and Cross tend to be the ones to hear his one-sided rambles. He mainly lets them hear mainly because the rambles they hear can be taken as him just speaking aloud to himself trying to problem-solve.

-When either Night or Mare is out normally the other may take the opportunity to rest, Mare doesn’t need as much rest as Night, so normally when Mare takes over Night gives him full/complete control so he can sleep in the mind. 

So this leaves Mare to deal with any possible situation they may find themselves in.

Night can’t have complete control, as if he tries to stay in control for too long (he can go just under 2 weeks without switching to Mare) he will start to get sick, and ends up puking black tar/eyes leaking tar. Which after a while Mare is forces to take control as Night will be in too much pain.

-Mare is considered a Wraith, But unlike the simple mind of Wraiths they’re actually as smart as Night (if not a bit smarter) (Mare can also be around Wraiths without them attacking) 

-Both Night and Mare consider themselves the same person. In the beginning it was true, as Mare only had Night’s emotions and memories to go off of. As Mare got to form their own opinions on things it looked as if they were separate beings, but the two concluded Mare is still going off of Night’s emotions/memories. So they still say that they’re the same being.

-Nightmare would do anything for his brother (Dream), even if it means putting himself in danger, he also tries not to let Dream see all the things he's doing for him, as he doesn't want Dream to worry about him

-Night knows not a lot of people like him, due to what happened with the tree, a lot of people blaming him due to it being negative emotions that caused what happened. Even though he has nothing to do with it. To add to this, if anyone is being mean to him for any reason he just tends to be polite to them, most of the time it makes people feel a bit bad for being a dick when he's being so polite back. If he isn't polite, he's normally joking around. 

-Nightmare and Dream joined the group, kind of in the middle of everyone else joining. Nightmare originally wanted to keep on the move, but Dream got along so well with Ink and Blue that he didn't want to separate them, and since both himself and Dream didn't want to be apart either, he stuck around. 

Though he had to prove himself to be useful, given his situation of a lot of people thinking he caused this. Nightmare got along decently with Sci, due to being almost as smart as him, and he quickly got along with Horror. Which is when Dust and Killer joined, they quickly formed a little group together. (Cross and Error being honorary members in Nightmare's little group) 

-He’s aware he's kinda hard to be around due to giving off negative energy, but it doesn’t stop the ones he’s befriended from still hanging out with him somehow. Unlike Dream though due to how Nightmare developed it takes longer for people to feel negative due to being around, so he can be around people, but he tends to give people breaks from himself after being around him for too long. 

-Night does a lot of things for the group, he helps Sci make things for their survival, helps scout out areas (due to being small he can get into places where the others can't), helps scavenge for items.

-The 4 smartest people in the group are Sci, Nightmare, Geno and Gans/Echo.

Normally people don't bother Sci since he's normally quite busy or getting rest, and people don't tend to bother Geno since he's normally complaining and shit like that. Gans/Echo is normally off somewhere or doesn’t care enough to help, so it normally leaves people to go to Nightmare when there's a problem, as he's only slightly easier to get a hold of. 

BUT Nightmare also likes to hide in places to get some peace for once, so he's only easier to get a hold of when he's around, whereas even thou Sci, Geno and Gans/Echo are around they're quite hard to get help from.

-Nightmare acts blunt most of the time, mainly because he’s used to not showing much emotion, only really ever having showed emotion to Dream, so when joining the group he does try to show more emotion, since he knows not everyone will like how blunt he normally is. His way of showing emotions is to be somewhat goofy, and unserious, sometimes though he doesn’t really take much serious, since he doesn’t really care too much. He’s also a bit of a smug bastard from time to time, enjoying being a bit of a rat or just being annoying. He does things he wants to do now, whereas in the past he only did things because he had to but had to disregard the things he wanted to do. He feels a lot more free than what he did, but is still semi aware about the fact he isn’t fully free but ignores that in favor of being ignorant. 

When he does decide to care about something though, he cares too much. Even if it’s going to affect him negatively, he’d much rather care than not care at all.

-Night doesn’t really like eye contact, doesn’t really like how intense some people's eye contact can be. Mare also doesn’t like eye contact either, but unlike Night, Mare’s eye is quite intense for most, so it ends up with the other person looking away before them.

-Night always looks tired, basically permanently having darkness under his eyes. Dream always tells him to get more sleep, but it’s not like Night wants to stay up it’s just he really struggles to get sleep.

Tends to get more sleep when he likes/trusts are in the same room as him.

-Night’s left eye may flash blue sometimes, this is due to Mare sometimes coming up to the surface of Night’s mind to check on him or to check out the situation. This eye flashing has only started due to the apocalypse. 

-Night’s tail doesn’t move around too much, it's normally remaining low to the ground or even curled up around one of his legs. In contrast to his brothers tail.

-Night doesn’t like being alone. But at the same time he’s scared of trying to seek comfort in other people normally forcing himself to be alone. He hates it, Mare tells him to go hang out with his brother or friends, but Night always refuses. 

Mare tells him if he doesn’t put in effort with other people then what's stopping them from putting in effort with him. Mare telling him this terrifies him, he knows it’s true but is just so lost on how to approach others that he just lets himself suffer. In Night’s mind suffering alone is better than suffering pain or embarrassment for trying to reach out to others, and having them possibly reject him.

-Normally gets picked up by people due to being short and light. Dream, Cross and the MTT trio are the main culprits for picking him up. Night doesn’t mind too much, especially if they were walking somewhere, it just means he doesn’t have to walk. He only really gets annoyed by it if he was doing something/has to do something but them picking him up is stopping him from doing what he needs to do.

-Night normally needs to do something with his hands, he normally fidgets with his hoodie sleeves. Or if he’s holding something might mess with that. If he’s standing next to someone he likes/trusts he might hold onto them, e.g. holding onto their sleeve/arm. Just doesn’t know what to do with his hands half the time. 

-Likes cats, when he guarded the tree he never really saw cats, only reading and seeing pictures of them in books. So when the apocalypse hit he got to see cats, and instantly fell in love with them. Even going as far as to have cat themed items e.g. his cat socks.

He’s somewhat scared of cats, despite his love for them. If a cat was to approach him too quickly it might freak him out thinking the cat is running to attack him. Originally he wanted to keep Fig, but realized he didn’t know how to take care of a cat, so ended up giving Fig to Horror. He often looks after Fig when Horror is busy, learning how to take care of her from Horror. Night hopes to get his own cat once he feels equip enough to take care of it. Preferably he’d hope he could get a grey tabby cat.

-Quickly learned how to use modern technology, is often stealing it from buildings to see what he can find on them, has found multiple games and movies to keep the group entertained in their downtime.

-Collects books, doesn’t matter what it is, he collects them. Will also sometimes steal Cross’s manga, might read it, might not, he just wants it.

-

-Fresh and Death/Reaper were the first two to know about Mare, but didn't say anything to anyone. 

Fresh views Mare as another parasite (similar to what he is) so doesn't want to grass on what he sees as a fellow parasite. 

And Reaper/Death sees it as none of his business. As long as they aren’t hurting anyone. 

The two found out about Mare separately.

-Mare uses They/Them and He/Him. Doesn’t mind which is used. Is agender, but as mentioned doesn’t mind the He/Him pronoun. 

-Cross was the third person to find out about Mare, though he didn’t know Mare was Night at first. And it took him a long time to even see Mare in the first place. Cross doesn’t know that Fresh and Death/Reaper know about Mare, so he thinks he’s the first to find out about mare.

-Dream would probably eventually find out about Mare, probs quite a bit after Cross found out. And would probably find out due to Nightmare possibly protecting him and shifting into Mare to be able to protect him better. (Assume when I’m doing any sort of doodles for the au that Dream doesn’t know still, as mentioned he won’t find out till a lot later)

-Despite Mare having all of Night’s memories and feelings, they chooses to disregard the past, and focus on the here and now. Whereas Night is still stuck thinking about the past.

-Mare tires to be Night’s rational thoughts whenever Night’s mind goes spiraling. Mare doesn’t feel sympathy for Night, since he knows Night doesn’t want his sympathy. Mare normally trying to stick to truths even if those truths are mean. 

-Mare thinks Night is stupid sometimes. They want Night to be more cautious about things, to take things a bit more seriously, always telling Night that all it takes is one slip up, either him or someone else slipping up for things to go wrong. But Night doesn’t really listen to that, choosing to live in ignorance. 

-Mare compared to everyone else in the group is a lot stronger than all of them. They would easily be able to take them all in a fight. They’d never fight them though if they could help it. They’d much rather use Their efforts to protect them, even if They had to do it in secret. 

-Night normally goes out on solo scouting missions, which he normally uses that time to let Mare out. Mare actually does a lot for the group, even if they don’t realize that. Easily being able to clear Wraiths out of areas, or going into Wraith infested areas to get supplies from those areas. As well as easily being able to clear paths due to their strength. 

Mare gets some enjoyment from fighting Wraiths, but enjoys fighting the more powerful Wraiths more, since they gets to use more of their power. But is also aware of when to fight or not, since they don’t want to attract the attention of the group.

-Whenever Mare is let out if Night was wearing the crown/necklace Mare will also be wearing them. This also applies to the cat socks too, but due to Mare’s boots they’re never seen.

-Mare always has at least 2 of his tentacles out, will sometimes have 4+ out. It’s rare to see them without them. Mare would much rather tuck the main 2 into their sides rather than up them away/make them disappear. 

-The eye on Mare’s mask isn’t actually an eye, nor does it blink. When looking close at it, the ‘eye’ is actually some sort of crystal.

Kids-Guarding the tree as adults-After joining the group

How they feel about:

Dream:  Night: Dream is his brother, and he’d (Nightmare) do anything for them, even if it means completely disregarding his own safety/happiness to make sure Dream is safe/happy.  He adores that Dream tries for him, either it be trying to cheer them up or just being around him when so many others don’t go near him.  He adores them, but there's a lot he doesn’t tell Dream, since he doesn’t want to upset Dream or make Dream see him differently (e.g. telling Dream about Mare). He feels bad about lying to Dream, but at the same time he feels it’s for the best.

Mare: has the same love for Dream, but is aware that it will take a lot for Dream to hate him, telling Night it’s okay for Dream to know about them, but Night never listens.

Cross:  Night: It’s complicated when it comes to Cross, Night feels Cross would most likely be better without him around, but Cross has consistently been stuck in his side like a thorn since Cross joined the group.  Night doesn’t fully understand his feelings when it comes to Cross, he does like him, but he can sense there's another emotion there, but is confused by it since he's never felt like that before. Often times he tries to keep Cross at arm's length, like as mentioned, he feels Cross will do better without him. He thinks his negative aura will eventually bother Cross, or that he will upset Cross in some way, or that Cross will leave him. Despite wanting to keep Cross at arm’s length, sometimes he slips up and lets Cross in, he can’t help but have a soft spot for him. Night sees Cross as a sort of ��knight in shining armour’, thinks this view of him is funny since Cross literally is a royal guard. But it’s the fact Cross is always looking out for him either that be physically or mentally. He does appreciate what Cross does for him.

Mare: Doesn’t care to keep Cross at arm’s length, they’re almost as clingy as Cross, almost. Mare is fully aware of what their feelings are unlike Night, so they were the first to show affection (the love kind) to Cross. Their view of Cross is a lot different to Night’s, where Night sees Cross as his guard, Mare sees Cross as a wet pathetic dog. But they love that about him. Mare knew after Night had a few interactions with Cross that Cross was a good guy, he knew that if Cross was to find out about them (Mare) that he wouldn’t say anything. Knowing Cross cares too much about Night to put Night in any sort of danger.  

Blue:  Night: He’s unsure what to feel about Blue. Dream likes him, so since Dream likes him Night will treat him as a friend as well. He knows Blue is a little bit cautious of him, but at this point who isn’t. Doesn’t mind him, but he wouldn't really consider him a friend.

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him.

Ink:  Night: Thinks Ink’s weird af. Dream likes them though, and he thinks Ink’s insults are funny. So he can’t really complain much. Ink also isn’t worried about him being around either, he’s pretty sure Ink has no concept of danger. Doesn’t mind them, but he wouldn't really consider Ink a friend.

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on them.

Dust:  Night: He likes Dust, though he is unsure on why Dust is protective over him. Likes how quiet and calm Dust can be, but also enjoys the moments where Dust is goofing off with Horror and Killer. 

Mare: Like Night, he likes Dust, tells Night it would probably be fine for Dust to know about them. But Night doesn’t want to listen/doesn’t want to risk it.

Horror: Night: He likes Horror. Horror was one of the first people he managed to make friends with, and he’s also the reason Horror has a kitten. Since he found the kitten and ended up bringing it back, in which Horror quickly grew attached to it so ended up taking Fig.  Horror can be relatively calm half the time, so Night hangs out with him often.  He also is one of the few people who knows that Horror is also a murderer. 

Mare: Like Night, he likes Horror, tells Night it would probably be fine for Horror to know about them. But Night doesn’t want to listen/doesn’t want to risk it.

Killer:  Night: He likes Killer, finds him funny, but also feels drained after a while of interacting with him, since Killer is quite hyper. He has to remind Killer often to get something to eat/drink, as Killer never realizes when he needs to eat/drink. He knows despite Killer acting like an idiot most of the time Killer is actually smart and observant.   

Mare: Like Night, he likes Killer, tells Night it would probably be fine for Killer to know about them. But Night doesn’t want to listen/doesn’t want to risk it.

Error:  Night: He can get along with Error, but Error has his moments where he just hates everyone. So tends to give Error space and only hang with him when Error comes to him.  He’d consider Error a friend, but the term friend is used loosely here.

Mare: Doesn’t mind Error, but is also unsure on what to think about him, not fully being able to figure out what Error is about. Does appreciate that Error tends to be nice to Night though.

Lust:  Night: Considers Lust one of his best friends. Finds it super easy to talk to Lust, though he does keep a lot of stuff to himself and doesn’t really talk much about things relating to himself with Lust. Lust most was the one to tell Night that he (Night) probably has feelings for Cross, after Night talked vaguely about how he feels about Cross with Lust. Dream also gets along with Lust, so that feels like a plus to him. 

Mare: Appreciates the fact Lust helped Night realize his (Night’s) feelings for Cross. Also likes the fact that Night has someone he can open up too, even if it’s only a little bit. 

Fell/Edge:  Night: Doesn’t get along with him, but is polite with him. When Red gets mad at him, he just stays polite which normally makes Red back off due to feeling bad that he's basically getting pissed at some dude who is just trying to be nice to him.

Mare: Thinks Night needs to put him in his place. Doesn’t like him, and often makes comments in Night head when Fell is around, normally making Night nearly laugh about it.

Geno:  Night: Doesn’t get along with him, but remains polite with him. They can work together from time to time to help Sci, and sometimes Geno will ask him questions about himself, but he never really answers any of them.

Mare: Thinks Night needs to put him in his place. Doesn’t like him, and often makes comments in Night head when Geno is around, normally making Night nearly laugh about it. Has also once told Reaper that he needs to get better at killing people because what's taking him so long with killing Geno.

Outer:  Night: Doesn’t mind him, but he wouldn't really consider him a friend. He hasn’t really spent that much time with him to consider him a friend. He knows Dream likes him, so when he does interact with him, he does treat him as a friend though. 

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him. 

Sci: Night: Doesn’t mind him, but he wouldn't really consider him a friend. He can get along with him, and he does like how reasonable he is, Sci was the reason Night was even allowed to stick around in the group in the first place. Since Sci knows Night didn’t cause the apocalypse, and due to being the leader he had the last say in the issue of Night being around.  So Night is grateful for him, but still wouldn’t consider a friend. More of a work friend than an actual friend. 

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him. Does appreciate the fact Sci gave Night a chance to prove himself.

Reaper/Death:  Night: Doesn’t mind him, but he half considers Reaper a friend. Thinks Reaper bullying Geno is funny, and does appreciate the fact Reaper hasn’t grassed on him to the others about Mare. 

Mare: He’s only talked to Reaper a few times, and like Night he appreciates the fact Reaper hasn’t said anything about them. Is willing to listen if Reaper ever needs a favour. Has also once told Reaper that he needs to get better at killing people because what's taking him so long with killing Geno.

Fresh: Night: Doesn’t really like him, but is polite to him. Thinks he's weird as hell. Thinks his power to censor swears is funny though, specifically when it comes to censoring others like Fell, Geno and Echo.  Would rather not be around him though, as Fresh puts him on edge.  Though he appreciates Fresh keeping Mare a secret, he still feels Fresh has a bad reason for keeping it to himself though.

Mare: Warns Night not to trust Fresh or get too close. Doesn’t really answer Night’s questions about Fresh though. Mare feels it’s better if Night doesn’t know the reason why he tells him to stay away from him.

Gans/Echo:  Night: Doesn’t get along with him, but remains polite with him. They can work together from time to time to help Sci. And can also have polite conversations with him where they can joke about things, but they’d both rather not interact.

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him. 

Chief: Night: Doesn’t mind him, but he wouldn't really consider him a friend. Finds how blunt he can be entertaining, but would rather not be on his bad side as he knows Chief can be kinda petty. 

Mare: Only really has Night’s emotions and experiences to go off of, so doesn’t have an opinion on him.

[six-paths-of-jeanmarco]

You wanna talk about Reiner, Jean and Marco?

Okay, let's talk about Reiner, Jean and Marco. Buckle up, there's a lot to talk about.

Disclaimer: this is not an anti post to any character or ship, quite the opposite. Read the whole thing before you jump to conclusions, thanks :)

Well, yes and no. First and foremost, the background. Jean and the rest of the cadets, while each had a goal, were training to defend what they thought to be all that was left of the human species. For 100 years, the walls protected them, but they were no longer secure. The military was humanity's last hope of survival. With these unimaginably high stakes always looming over them, the cadets ought to have developed a complex bond that would be very hard to put into words. Let's just say they were something more than just siblings in arms, and you could tell that. Throughout the series, you never get the impression that Jean and the others truly wanted to kill RBA. It also explains why Marco questioned Reiner and Bert about their conversation before he even realized he's made a mistake.

However, we also have to remember this scene. This happened not long after Marco's death. Realistically speaking, I don't see how Jean wouldn't have harboured a healthy amount of hatred in his heart. But it never overcame him because his grief over losing Marco was much stronger than his hatred for those who caused it.

He won't get his answers from Annie, but he could get them from Reiner after they captured him in Shiganshina. He convinced Hange to not execute him due to a mix of the aforementioned bond and his need to understand what truly happened to Marco and what were the shifters' true goals. And of course, because preserving one's life, even an enemy's, is in Jean's nature.

There's so much to unpack here, but first, let's focus on the idea that "the people who killed Marco were the same as Jean himself", which is a false equivalence supported by other false equivalences.

There's RBA's mission to commit straight up genocide against Paradis, and the raid of Liberio or Eren's plan to steal the War Hammer, ensure that the world hates Paradis, and use his friends as his escape route. Sure, the Scouts could have chosen not to aid Eren, let him be captured, lose the Founding Titan, and allow Marley to destroy them once and for all. Not a hard choice at all, right? The only thing that those two events have in common is the fact that the shifters were responsible for almost all of the casualties. In fact, as a commanding officer, Jean did everything in his power to avoid civilian casualties in Liberio. He even failed to kill Falco and Pieck.

Then there's Marco's murder and the clash with the Yeagerists. All I'm going to say about the former at this point is that Reiner had other options to keep Marco from endangering their mission other than killing him. But fundamentally speaking, the two situations share nothing in common. The circumstances that led to them happening, the power dynamics between the parties involved, the stakes, and the context itself makes them practically unrelated. The alliance had to leave the island or the Rumbling would have ended the world. The Yeagerists gave them no choice other than to fight them. Saying that Reiner and Jean are "the same" it's like saying a killer who murdered their victim is just as bad as a survivor who killed their aggressor in self defense. The killer could've chosen not to commit murder, whereas the survivor didn't have a choice. In this case, the world is the victim while the Yeagerists are complicit for interfering with the only people that could stop the Rumbling. Of course, that doesn't mean Jean shouldn't have felt anything after he killed his former comrades, he'd be ooc.

In fact, these aren't just my thoughts. Some of these points are made by Isayama himself:

Notice how Yelena frames the raid as a nation wide attack? Except, that's not what it was at all. The Scouts only attacked the internment zone while Eren and Armin ravaged it and the port of Liberio respectively, two locations in one of the thousands of cities an empire as large as Marley must've had. And they did so to prevent Marley from gaining the means that would've allowed them to destroy Paradis. As for what Reiner and Annie did to the walls and their people, Yelena's accusations are hitting the nail.

These issues are never properly addressed in the following chapters. Instead, they were used to lay the foundations for the "we're the same" fallacious dialogue. Isayama didn't have to throw every single Scout in the same gray soup as the Warriors since they've already proven to be complex characters in the previous arcs. His own writing didn't support it. Imo, that's why he failed in this regard.

The campfire scene is a highlight, that one thing is true. It's extremely important for Jean and Marco's relationship. Marco wasn't just Jean's most significant person throughout the series (aside from his mom), he was also his most significant loss. A wound in his very being.

Not knowing what truly happened to Marco, what were his last moments, was an open wound on its own. When Reiner finally confessed, Jean had the closure he'd thought he'd never get. Now he could start the long process of healing - partially, because such pain never truly goes away. You just learn how to live with it, and Jean already has plenty of experience in that field. I think this is a very powerful message, important too. Grief is not something inherently bad. It's up to you what you do with. You either allow it to consume you, or you hold it tight, you cherish it as a sign that what you had was real, still is real, you let it shape you into a better person, one that understands pain and wishes for no one to have to go through something similar. Jean is the latter, ever the kind-hearted man.

This should have been Jean and Marco's intimate moment, but Reiner intruded on it with his self-pitying babbling. There are lines that mustn't be crossed. That's when Jean snapped and attacked him. He didn't do anything after he learned the truth, just told Reiner to shut up, which he didn't do.

There's a glaring difference between Jean's reaction and what Reiner did after Marco overheard his discussion with Bert, what he did after Marco begged him to talk it over, to talk with him. He executed him like an animal; worse than that, he betrayed him, crushed his soul, denied him any chance of survival, left him behind for the titan to finish the job.

Marco was kind, understanding, supportive, good-natured, bright, forgiving, a true leader worth following. He wanted to serve the king because that's how he thought he could serve his people best (this is clearly inspired by the relationship the people of Japan had with their emperor before he renounced his divine status). Yes, he was also wrong about some things he didn't have the chance to understand as one of the early deaths. But Marco represented something we should all strive to be: a good human being.

On the other hand, Reiner strived to be a hero. Someone who'd wipe out all the devils. Someone driven by selfish ideals that have been shaped by prejudice and hatred. Only a monster would kill someone like Marco. As I said earlier, he had other choices to deal with him. He already broke his legs, so Marco would've been entirely dependent on his help to survive. Reiner could've coerced him to keep quiet or else Bert would kill everyone with his shifter ability, or even force him to aid Annie with gathering intel in the inner walls. Reiner knew Marco wasn't stupid, he would've complied with his demands, if not to save himself, at least to prevent a disaster. And yet, Reiner still chose to murder him, a choice that only a monster could make, a choice that would ruin his mental health, a choice that would turn him into a shell of a man.

If there's one character that is bound to Marco by trauma and guilt, it's Reiner. He was no hero as his story was written with the blood of his many victims. Killing Marco forced Reiner realize he was the monster all along, not the people he was sent to exterminate. Not the people he didn't see as people. His trauma was so egregious because he couldn't face this monster that would murder someone like Marco, - and once he did - because he couldn't stand this monster that was he. Quite ironic to say that Marco symbolizes naivety while the hero that never was was falling apart as the realization of what he did started to kick in. Hard.

Combined with this realization, that choice would make him do the right thing in the end. To me, this was the whole point of Reiner's character arc. To stress the idea that a single choice fueled by hatred has an unmeasurable weight and only leads to unthinkable consequences. It's about doing the right thing after constantly doing the wrong thing. It's about showing that there is no us vs them and that the dehumanization of the Other only leads to mass destruction and self destruction. Change is not impossible as long as you keep moving forward and you give meaning to pain and guilt. Unless you stand for nothing, kill for nothing, and then die for nothing, like Bert did. A literal representation of the quote "Apathy is death". Or end up as self-centered as Annie, to the point where you'll unapologetically say you'd do it all again. Instead of saying you'd try to change your actions. But Reiner did change. He joined forces with Jean and the rest because he was finally able to see them as what they always were: human beings whose lives are just as precious as all the lives in the world. And that his own life might still be worth something. Reiner hurt Jean far too deep to fully reconciliate, but they were no longer divided by hatred.

Take away the impact Marco had on him and you'd do Reiner a great disservice.

Jean could've also chosen to do some things different. He could've returned to the camp and kill Reiner and Annie in their sleep. Cut off their heads and return back to Paradis as a hero, and finally have the quiet life that he wanted, but he didn't. Or he could've stayed in that forest for the rest of his life, to hell with everyone else, but he didn't. It wasn't because Marco's expectations had him on a leash.

Learning the truth about what happened to Marco, learning his final words made him realize that he became a man worth Marco's timely praise. And that man would never let resent, revenge, or retribution turn him into a monster. He is a man that always chooses to do the right thing because he strives against his own demons, and Marco is the person who helps him choose this life.

It's not trauma nor guilt that keeps Jean and Marco connected, it's love, be it platonic or romantic. How can it be anything else? Marco gave him this moment:

And before this, Marco told him he's cut out to be a leader. Marco told him "I'm alive because of you". Marco made him smile for real. Do you know how much of an impact just a few words of encouragement can have on a 15 years old boy with low self esteem and no real purpose in life? He'll never forget them for as long as he lives, especially if they're coming from someone who means a lot to him. How can you take something as meaningful as that and turn it into something ugly? Marco gave him clarity.

Marco's neither a blessing nor a curse. Especially not the latter. This is how Jean remembers him four years after he had found his lifeless corpse:

Of all his fallen comrades, Jean only sees him. This is the face that Jean turns to in his darkest hours. The eyes that look back at Jean are soulful, kind, sincere, comforting. Marco's facial expression is warm and tender. You wouldn't tell this was a 16 years old boy who had died a most gruesome death.

It matters too little they don't have cameras in Paradis, no picture could reproduce Marco's image with as much love as Jean's mind does. And it matters that much when you think about how much symbolism there is in aot. None of this is coincidental at all.

Jean always turns to Marco for hope, for strength, for solace, and to remind himself of his own kindness, that in a world as cruel as that of aot, there's still love and there's still light, if not outside, then within.

Marco's no curse, no blessing, no symbol, he is just a boy whose words and actions had a great impact on those around him, especially on his best friend (and dare I say, soulmate) who misses him dearly. He left his mark on the plot and themes of aot, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.

Edit: Forgot to add this (my drafts are a mess):

I do agree that Jean saving Reiner's life is important. No, they could never go back to being friends. Who'd be friends with their best friend's murderer? I'll say it again, Reiner hurt Jean far too deep for them to ever fully reconciliate. Besides, Jean himself stated that he could never forgive him for what he did. The logic is sadly not logic-ing with this one. But that doesn't mean he cannot see Reiner as a human being. The difference between Reiner and Jean is that Jean always saw everyone as people.

It's important because it shows how far Jean has come. It's important because it shows how much truth was in Marco's words right from the beginning. Jean is humanity's best - not because he is flawless, far from it, but because this flawed man will always find the strenght to do what's right. Because when good men go to war, they don't see sides, not really, they see the horrors of their actions.

In a way, aot is Jean's story. And Reiner's. And Marco's. I still have plenty of criticism for this series, but the web of complex relationships between these three characters is one of the things that Isayama did right.

[mustache-man-ranger-squad]

this blog is no longer active

G'day good people of all regions far and wide! Let me introduce myself: My name is Richard (he/him), 62 years of age and veteran Pokémon-Ranger.

I lead a squad of 6 rangers belonging to the Interregional Emergency Force. I know this does indeed sound very concerning, but the name is simply misleading. We rarely handle real emergencies, even more rare are situations that affect the world on a global scale, as you probably know. It simply means we are called to various Ranger bases in all the regions should they need an extra pair of hands, or a dozen.

Since i might be mentioning them, my teammembers are:

Me, of course. Yes i do have ranger rank 10

Valeri (she/her), Field Ranger, rank 6

Joseph (he/they), Field Ranger rank 5

Otto (he/him), Ranger-Scout, rank 6

Elias (he/him), technically Field Ranger, specialised in veterinarian works, rank 3 (He really deserves a rank up to 5 at least, but the HQs are all hesitant since he often "just" tends to wounded Pokémon. This Bunch of pricks have no idea of field work. No, no, don't listen to the rank 10 squad leader, you know better of course.)

Athena (she/her), specialised in battling, rank 8

My Partner Pokémon are Charm and Strange, a pair of Plusle and Minun.

//ooc under the cut

//I gave in to the pressure from @/paldean-ranger-brandy and all the other amazing ranger blogs (pressure meaning they are being amazing) and made my own ranger blog. I am AGAIN running a blog with like 15 muses, but i PROMISE i try and keep it to Richard for the absolute most part.

//also Richard is sometimes a little dick (pun 100% intended), i don't mean any of it. He has a short temper and cares much much more for Pokémon than for people. TELL ME IF I OVERSTEP BOUNDARIES!

//Uh... Follows come from @fire-water-grass-core, read my pinned over at @koffing-time (i should clean that up sometime), feel free to interact in any way except for sexual stuff.

//This blog might go into high stakes? idk? there will be themes of Pokémon death, violence and so on probably eventually. I try to tag, if i forget pester me.

[queenphanessa]

Arlecchino Headcanons

Note: Been dying to post headcanons about Arlecchino! As I write this, version 4.0 hasn't dropped for me yet so I'm hoping to get this out quick! Since this is before I/we learn more about Arlecchino, this will probably be OOC.

~ ✧ I originally headcanoned her real name to be "Cerise", but because Honkai Impact 3rd and Honkai: Star Rail both have characters named Natasha who have something to do with orphanages, and because Hoyoverse likes to reuse characters and their themes in their games, I think Arlecchino's real name might be "Natasha". ~ ✧ And because both Hi3!Natasha and HSR!Natasha had dead older brothers, I think Arlecchino also had an older brother who died. ~ ✧ I think she was hurt by businessmen and dignitaries (specifically the Hydro Archon) as part of her backstory.

~ ✧ Even before the leaks, I always headcanoned Arlecchino as a Pyro sword wielder.

~ ✧ I think that when it comes to diplomats and people she wants/needs to captivate, she's affable and charming.

~ ✧ But outside of that, around her subordinates, and around the other Harbingers, she's actually very blunt and stoic and even hotheaded if pushed too far. And with the other ever patience-trying Harbingers, too far is quite often.

~ ✧ She's a perfectionist which leads into her control freak tendencies.

~ ✧ Arlecchino is primarily a sword wielder, but if you manage to piss her off so severely during a fight, she will start to literally tear you apart with her bare hands.

~ ✧ Before her death, Signora and Arlecchino were the closest among the Harbingers.

~ ✧ I'm pretty sure she's a native of Fontaine.

~ ✧ If she won't curse you out in Snezhnayan/Russian, she'll curse you out in Fontainian/French.

~ ✧ In the "A Winter Night's Lazzo" teaser, she expresses disdain for "heartless businessmen and dignitaries" and the businessmen and merchant NPCs we often meet are usually from Fontaine and sometimes try to do shady stuff, plus the legal system in Fontaine is said (by Yanfei) to be very complex and even minor infractions could have heavy penalties, and if Arlecchino is from Fontaine, that could be why she hates businessmen and dignitaries and could have personal beef with the Hydro Archon, Focalors.

~ ✧ I think she and her older brother were orphans and her brother was arrested for something petty and due to Fontaine's messed up legal system, he got executed.

~ ✧ When she became an adult, I think she started an orphanage (not the House of the Hearth) so no child wouldn't have to suffer on their own like she had to. She was a sort of benevolent figure like how Signora/Rosalyne was once a happy and innocent woman who would later become the Crimson Witch of Flames for the sake of protecting Mondstadt.

~ ✧ Arlecchino was probably active in taking care of the children like a big sister or doting mother. ~ ✧ But eventually, probably around the time Pierro scouted her as a potential member of the Fatui, Arlecchino became disillusioned. ~ ✧ Where she used to be good with kids, she eventually became distant towards them (she would still have good babysitting skills, but she would no longer be interested in looking after kids). ~ ✧ By the time she became the director of the House of the Hearth, she only performed managerial work (when not doing her other duties as a Harbinger) and left taking care of the children to the orphanage's staff.

~ ✧ I am 82% certain Arlecchino loves coffee. In contrast to her intimidating demeanor, she likes it with sugar and cream.

~ ✧ As stoic as Arlecchino is, I think she'd keep up with gossip. Her duties involve gathering intel and gossip can potentially have useful bits of information. ~ ✧ She won't spread rumors, but damn if she won't keep her ears open for any juicy details.

~ ✧ She and Signora used to talk about any gossip that reached their ears, especially if it involved the other Harbingers

~ ✧ While Arlecchino appreciates any good performance, she loves the theater and no one can tell me otherwise.

~ ✧ Arlecchino also loves opera and is secretly a fan of Yun Jin.

~ ✧ I think Arlecchino is a long-lived being (cause lord knows most of these Harbingers ain’t human) or she was born a normal human who became long-lived through unknown means.

~ ✧ Her blackened hands are a sign of corruption from the Abyss or a sign of whatever made her a long-lived human.

~ ✧ Arlecchino doesn't actually have claws, that's just how she likes to style her manicures. ~ ✧ I originally thought Arlecchino was actually a Lochfolk/Oceanid from Fontaine who once served the original Hydro Archon. ~ ✧ As the Oceanid we fight in Liyue always says, "the power of water is its ability to take any shape". Thanks to Idyia from the 3.8 event, we see that Oceanids can take human forms (they also constantly have the Hydro status applied to them, so if we see that with Arlecchino... 👀). ~ ✧ The OG Hydro Archon sent Oceanids across Teyvat to act as spies (for benevolent purposes) and Arlecchino sent trained agents across Teyvat as spies to act as sleeper agents (as we saw in the Inazuma fortune slip quest). ~ ✧ In the "A Winter Night's Lazzo" teaser, Arlecchino specifically comments on Signora dying in a foreign land and expressed distaste towards Pantalone and Pulcinella for being "heartless business and dignitaries" who have excuses to remain in the "comfort of their homeland"; when Focalors became the new Hydro Archon, the Oceanids refused to worship her and refused to return to their homeland, staying in self-imposed exile abroad in foreign lands like that Oceanid boss we fight in Liyue. ~ ✧ While I don't hold onto my Oceanid!Arlecchino headcanon as much as I did before, I do still think she's a long-lived being who had ties to the previous Hydro Archon.

[gefdreamsofthesea]

Tonight's Cthulhu Awakens session:

Recap: the party sees a play, everything goes horribly wrong, they are now elsewhere

I make everyone make an alienation test (the game's replacement for a sanity system), which they all fail. From their vantage point they see a city, including a strange tower.

Sarah: *freaking out*

Dahlia and Mairéad: *arguing over whether Mairéad should've discarded a cigarette butt*

They discover a secret door.

I show them a map with a bit scribbled out (for spoiler reasons)

They head into the crowd below. Everyone is dressed in ochre robes (me: I thought ochre was red). One hooded person approaches them. Sarah tries to make conversation. The person pulls back her hood. I make Sarah make an alienation test. Since she is very perceptive, it triggers a second alienation test. The player did not think this was fair. I consulted the rules. The rules appeared to support me, but I try to keep complaints in mind.

Mairéad wants to attack the strange woman immediately. I am alarmed by this. Dahlia quickly jumps in and deescalates the situation.

The woman's name is Iliath. She talks about the "eternal play" and "playing roles" and keeps mentioning a "him"

"Who is 'him'?"

"The King in Yellow"

(OOC: I KNEW IT!)

Iliath tells them about the tower. There may be a means of escape there, but for now she will take them to their chambers.

They explore the chambers. A couple have nothing noteworthy. One has a dead Nazi ("a soldier dressed in a German uniform with insignia from World War 2"), they take the luger, ammo, and combat knife near the body, Sarah gets the gun and ammo and Dahlia gets the knife. Another room has strange mathematical formulae and astronomical data that Sarah can't quite decipher, a third has a secret passage leading to a small library

Sarah settles in to do reasearch, Dahlia's at the entrance to the library, Mairéad decides to scout ahead

Sarah finds a book that may be relevant but once again fails to grasp any specifics

Mairéad, on the other hand, finds a strange contraption at the top of the tower. It is an orrery.

I cannot say "orrery"

Mairéad tells the others and they all head up the stairs to look at the contraption. Normally operating it requires specific astronomy knowledge but because Sarah found the papers from earlier it is no longer a requiremrnt

Operating the orrery requires intelligence and dexterity. Dahlia and Sarah both pass their tests.

The group escapes!

Before they make a mad dash away, Mairéad decides to set the bar on fire. I decide they deserve a treat for escaping and instead of making it a combat sequence (it is getting very late) just say they burn the place to the ground.

END

P.S. Everyone they try to tell thinks they are on drugs, predictably. They are all friends now.

Next time: the adventure continues with a brief time skip!

P.P.S. No one said this entity's name either. I'm so proud of them (there would have been consequences).

[cheshire-shuntaro]

Name is Chishiya Shuntarō, currently a doctor residing at The Beach, before I found myself in these lands I was a student of medicine with major in neuroscience. Despite a common belief around here I am not a cat.

♦ GENERAL ♦

♦ This RP blog contains mature themes, so, please for the love of Zeus, be 18 before you interact, aight?

♦ I'm doing this purely for fun (and the ability to be an apathetic asshole), don't take it personally.

♦ We love asks/RP memes here but I do need to be in a mood to answer those, so if I reblogged a meme and haven't replied to your request yet, my apologies, longer, narratively driven threads will usually have priority in my mind.

♦ My activity fluctuates very much. Life and shit happens, so if I'm not active, just wait patiently until I reappear again.

♦ Active threads: 1. Chishiya x Andromeda with @andromedagarcia

2. Chishiya x Airi with @airi-of-hearts

3. Chishiya x Soma with @somatheking

♦SHIPPING RULES ♦

♦ Shipping will be based on, first, how our character vibe, second on how we vibe as writing partners - OOC.

♦ If you do want to have a ship with Chishiya do approach me OOC first so that we could discuss it beforehand, do not spring it out on me out of nowhere.

♦ If you are a MOSTLY self-insert character, I am not going to be open to shipping with you, any other interactions between our muses are welcome.

♦ My muse will be flirty towards anyone he deems interesting.

♦ ABOUT THE MUN ♦

Matt/Mateo (he/they), 26, just a lil guy who loves writing and roleplay in general. I know I play an asshole and have been told that I am intimidating, but I really am not. Scout's honor, I don't bite, text me stupid memes.

[crashlanding-heavy]

BLOG INTRODUCTION — ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

After the Blu (alien) Team nuked the Red (alien) Team, their base crumbled down into pieces, leaving the Red Team disbanded by the mass explosion. Thus, each Red Alien mercenary was left stranded alone in space.

That's (was) the Alien’s situation, drifting in space, all alone. 

Despite drifting in the vastness of space all alone, the alien is determined to search for his missing teammates, carrying their spirit within himself.

CURRENT LOCATION: [EARTH]

CHECKPOINTS THROUGHOUT THE LORE

✦ [ CRASHLANDING ]

ASK TAG: Communication Device

TALK TAG: Gnarp Gnap Gworp

MOD: https://www.tumblr.com/jimbster

OOC COMMENTS — UNBOLD RED !!

FREE FREE TO SEND RP INTERACTIONS/ASKS PLEASEEEE !!!!

LORE UPDATE: Meaby no longer has Scout’s phone, instead he has Scout’s baseball.

DIVIDER CREDITS: https://bunnysrph.tumblr.com/

[team-nightdancer]

this blog is no longer active

Dear Readers,

We are team Nightdancer. We aren't quite sure what is happening right now, but the world has changed. We found this device, and everything before this was normal. We are not at home anymore, but we wouldn't be explorers if this discouraged us.

Yes, we will work to find a way home. But in the meantime, we do what we do best. Scouting, exploring and understanding the world. This… thing will be used to document our journey.

We should introduce ourself as well. We are Unown Ü, and our partner is Sableye. We are not sure what else is important, but seeing as previous entries can be changed, we'll take advantage of this as the need arises. ~ Ü

OOC under the cut (excuse the rambling, idk how to articulate myself)

// Hi, hello. I run this blog as a side blog, so I'll like and follow from my main @kamataros. If you need to address me (the player/mun), I'm okay with any pronouns, and if you need a name you can call me Kama, Nox or Cheese. (And please excuse me if i sound harsh sometimes, or ask stupid questions). I have two other Poké-Irl blogs, @koffing-time and @professors-polycule who are run by humans. I also run @drampas-trainers where i document my journey through the Pokémon games. If you want to interact with them, feel free to do so. (Rules from here are a bit different than for those blogs. refer to koffing-time for that)

Now for the blog itself: This blog pretends that Pokémon are real. So blanket #unreality warning here. I won't tag every post with this. Instead, i'm using something along the lines of #pkmn irl, #pokemon irl or #pokeblogging and #pmd irl

So, this blog is run by Team Nightdancer. It will mostly be Ü posting here, who is using they/them pronouns, but specifically also we/us when talking about themself. It is perfectly fine to refer to them as Ü, Unown Ü or simply Unown. Maybe Sableye will also be posting, but probably less. Sableye uses he/she and specifically NOT they.

Disclaimer: i do not have DID, and Ü also doesn't have DID. if you want, you can just say they like to use the pluralis majestatis. There is some lore to them but i don't want to reveal that just yet. I hope i don't offend anyone by their portrayal in any way.

Also, i use a version of the PMD world that is not quite canon to the PMD games. If you ask team Nightdancer about their home, experiences might differ from other PMD-Irl blogs.

also right at the end, shoutout to @wingsofachampion who successfully pressured not only me butsort of all of rotumblr to make PMD blogs (joking, but more importantly affectionately)

[animementrash]

AOT veterans headcanons pt.2

Characters: Miche Zacharias, Nanaba, Moblit Berner

Tags: characters headcanons, some may be ooc?

A/N: Here's the second batch of my headcanons about the AOT vets, if you want to read pt. 1 here it is :) once again, this is how I percieve them. Let me know what you think and thank you for reading! Love ya, bye! <3

Miche Zacharias

Most intense eye contact you will ever see, he’s the kind of person to keep direct eye contact when speaking and his gaze tends to intimidate almost everyone.

Talks with Erwin a lot, they have been friends for a long time and is usually one of the few people who can stand Erwin when he starts rambling about the outside and why is it important to lead humanity towards it.

Speaking of his long-time friendship with Erwin, he is the one who introduced Erwin to cigarettes years ago when they were just simple scouts.

The night before they went to the underground to get Levi, Miche questioned Erwin several times to make sure he was aware of the dangers they would encounter and even tried to persuade him to not go.

Will use almost anything he finds as a toothpick.

Has the most insane work out routine, not even Erwin is able to do it without exhausting himself. Only Levi can keep up with him when training and it’s only because he’s an Ackerman.

Has the highest body count in the scouts. I have no proof but no doubts either.

Another whistler, he’s also known for his constant humming and whistling but you can distinguish him from Erwin by the tunes they make.

Refuses to do paperwork, even if Erwin himself orders him to do some reports he will just say no and change the topic. Erwin no longer tries to make him do it.

When he forced Levi to kneel before Erwin in the underground, he was truly surprised by how much strength he had to use in order to push Levi down, he couldn’t understand how someone so small could be that strong.

Pushes his hair back and ties it in a small ponytail when it gets in the way.

Smirks a lot. Has the sassiest smirk ever.

Loves to trash talk people when drunk, especially those in the military police.

When Erwin and him used to go out he was always ready to be Erwin’s wingman.

Whenever Levi is brewing tea he’s always nearby, he isn’t much of a tea person but the smell is comforting and helps him get rid of any nasty smell that may be lingering in his nose.

Once tried to convince Erwin to keep his beard and moustache just like him but ended up asking him to shave because “not everyone can pull that combo”. Truth is he knew Erwin was hot with facial hair and decided to play safe.

Most of the time he doesn’t understand what Hange tends to ramble about but will listen nonetheless and even throw some questions from time to time.

(This one is so nasty sorry) Has a tendency to spit on the floor anytime he feels like it, Levi punches him whenever he sees him do it.

Snores a lot when sleeping. Like, a lot.

Loves to eat bread and will always try to get an extra piece when having dinner.

Nanaba

Loves to read romance novels. Used to believe she was a princess when she was a little girl.

Deals with imposter syndrome and used to doubt herself a lot before Miche gave her a reality check and told her that if she wanted to keep doubting herself then she could do it in another team, this helped her to stop being so self-conscious and focus on her strengths.

Loves flowers and will try to gather some when they’re outside the walls during expeditions.

Never knew how to socialize or make friends so when Miche requested her to be on his team she felt very happy to know someone acknowledged her even when she wasn’t too vocal.

Has beautiful hands, her nails are always neat and polished.

One-time Hange joked about her being the female version of Levi because their hairstyle is similar and she felt really awkward, Miche then said the hairstyle suited her better and she thanked him once more for always having her back.

Her love language is acts of service.

Really likes to spend time with Moblit or Levi, mostly because both are as quiet and reserved as her but also because the three shared the common factor of having a noisier counterpart who exhausted their social battery and knew what it was to need some quiet time.

Used to sleep in as much as she could when she had the chance, if it was a rest day for the scouts she was never seen up until midday.

Knows how to make flower crowns and will make them whenever she has the chance.

Has the sweetest and most adorable laugh ever.

Her nervous stims are shaking her legs when sitting or tapping her fingers rhythmically on whatever surface is nearby.

Owns a pretty decent number of dresses and jewelry, she also owns a single perfume she cherishes a lot because it was brought all the way from Mitras.

Has a sweet tooth, loves candied apples and apple pies.

Moblit Berner

Has the neatest, prettiest handwriting among all the scouts.

Has photographic memory, this is why he’s very good at drawing and at tracking down all the stuff Hange misplaces throughout the day.

The attention to detail he has is incredible, he’s able to catch up with things faster than anyone thanks to this.

Doesn’t know when or how he ended up being Hange’s nanny, but doesn’t mind it because he finds Hange’s mind very fascinating.

Rolls his eyes a lot, he can’t control his facial expressions no matter how much he tries either.

Before Hange even tries to show Erwin a plan, it has to be pre approved by Moblit, 8 out of 10 plans never make it outside their office.

Makes the most hurtful and snarky remarks when mad and makes it seem as if it was just a comment so you can’t complain about his attitude.

Gifted Nanaba a book about floriography and helps her collect flowers when outside the walls, he also likes to draw them before they wilt so she can add them to her collection.

Isn’t too fond of gossip but knows everyone’s secrets because people tend to vent with him because he is so serious and calm.

Admires Erwin a lot and is sometimes intimidated by him.

Loves to hang out with Miche and Erwin, and it’s only after a couple drinks when he can start being chatty with Erwin.

Is the only person who has seen Hange crying more than once.

One time he came across Levi at the kitchen when he was making some tea and to make things less awkward asked him for a cup, now he has to pretend he also likes that bitter tea because whenever Levi makes tea, he makes sure to bring him a cup as well.

Was once asked by Erwin if he could draw someone just by hearing their description, they then worked for weeks to make a drawing of who turned out to be Erwin’s dad.

Cares so much about Hange, not only as his superior but also as his friend, he believes there is no one who could be as brilliant and smart as them.

Levi once asked him to draw a dog and he couldn’t understand why, it wasn’t until Levi named the dog “Sniffer” and placed the drawing on Miche’s office door that he understood what it was for.

[ao3feed-tf2ships]

The day, soldier, pyro and spy said fuck gender and wore dresses (and looked hot asf ngl)

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/54268618

by Wadawda

Just a silly lil thing filled with head cannon :3 With a bunch of random tags (Sorry bout that 💀) Prob’s ooc, but I ain’t apologizing for that (No criticism pwease 🥺)

Words: 667, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of The days I get bored and write, gay TF2 things bc why not

Fandoms: Team Fortress 2

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Other

Characters: Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Pyro (Team Fortress 2), Spy (Team Fortress 2), Engineer (Team Fortress 2), Original Characters, RED Team (Team Fortress 2)

Relationships: Engineer/Spy (Team Fortress 2), Pyro/Scout (Team Fortress 2), Pyro/scout/oc

Additional Tags: They/Them Pronouns for Pyro (Team Fortress 2), any pronouns for soldier (Team Fortress 2), he/him for spy, Dresses, just for fun, Fluff, Fuck gender stereotypes am I right fellas, Pyro has 2 dads that’s cool, Everyone Is Gay, soldier is civil… siren the alarms, Spy is actually NICE, siren ‘‘em harder, Spreading the long haired spy agenda, don’t mind me, random ass tags fr, Ooc? Probs, Written by a trans author 🥺, All I write is drabbles, trust I can write longer things 😭

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/54268618