#;; well barrae does know a lot of good stories

[lclthlcved]

Passion was something she was good at even if it was in a very aggressive manner. Her words held the very conviction she believed, the thoughts and mantras that kept her going throughout her time in near isolation with only her faith by her side. Even as the other did stiffen up, Barrae would take notice of it, but not bother to truly address it. Perhaps they weren't born of the Hells, but they certainly looked like they belonged there at some point. Nevertheless it didn't truly matter.

" The sunlight is nothing but a killer. The Underdark in all it's beauty can never be compared to the dull consuming blistering sun. If you had seen it you would know. Every night here, every day here, all the same, the sun rises and sets. The stars are so dull within the sky. Within the underdark a canvas, who's brush is the very shrooms and plant life that have found growth in the darkness. Painting a new map upon the walls and world around us to discover and marvel in. Never is it always the same, a beautiful change and mystery. " There's a moment of silence as she reflects. Longing to be back home, before gritting her teeth and clenching her fists. No time to be nostalgic when there was a job to do.

" Lolth, our Queen and Goddess blesses all Drow. No matter pure or not. It's through her we can see as well as we do within the darkness, through her love our innate magic is gifted, and no matter who or where you are born her love persists in your life and she'll always find ways to keep watch. Spiders and bats are naturally drawn to us Drow, a gift, a show of favor of how she loves us that we innately connect with those who she also blesses most. We do not simply earn her love, but we had been gifted it for being born what we are without needing to give anything in return. We should be honored, but many would reject her love, fools as they are. "

Eliyen jumped when she raised her voice, moving backwards ever so slightly. My, how passionate this drow was about the topic. Naturally, she supposed, anyone would be passionate if they felt pride for their homeland.

"Hm. Almost poetic," Eliyen said, tilting her head to the side, "I suppose it is natural you'd only see beauty in darkness, but be not mistaken; there is beauty in light, too. It nurishes life here; the plants, the animals, all that lives above ground depends on its light. That's not to say the darkness of the Underdark is a bad thing; they are opposites, but not enemies. They coexist, in harmony, no?"

One from the hells. She straightened in her stance, her left ear seemed to flicker. With irritation? "I am not of the Hells." The way she said it, shed the accusations from her; a stark contrast to her gentle, poetic voice from just seconds before. Not outright hostile, but rather defensive. Lolth. Now, that name she'd heard! She listened to the drow tell her of the Goddess' love for her people, ears flicking in curiosity. "Such is the love of the Spider Queen for her people. Rather fascinating! Your people must be honored to be so loved by their Goddess. Few earn such love from their Gods, no?"

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 2: The Black Book (1949)

1. Introduction

Welp, here it is, Citizens.

Welcome to the second meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention. Please, enjoy some snacks and drinks and get comfortable because we’re in for a pretty wild ride.

The review of “The Black Book” is finally here. Initially released under the title “Reign of Terror” in 1949, it acquired its second (and more famous in our community) title during its rereleases, as far as my research could tell me.

Now, before we proceed, allow me to give you some background info on the way I found this movie.

I have seen @frevandrest ‘s posts referring to it. A few other people too, but I simply don’t remember the usernames. Still, I immediately got the impression that it’s a rather infamous movie in our community so I decided to review it simply out of morbid curiosity, just to see what the fuss was about.

I found the entire thing on YouTube so it’s available for anyone curious or masochistic enough to check it out.

Let’s just say that I dropped the movie several times and the reasons for this awful impression are going to be listed below.

2. The Story

The story reeks of propaganda, which is to be expected.

Basically, The Evil Misogynistic Gay Pigeon Boi Not Yet Dictator ™️ Robespierre wants to become, well, the dictator of France.

Problem is, apparently only Barras can appoint him as the dictator and that guy is in hiding, refusing to comply. And to make things worse, the titular book, Robespierre’s personal death list of sorts, has vanished.

Robespierre believes that he cannot control the Convention without the book and summons Duval, the butcher prosecutor from Strasbourg, to locate the death list in 24 hours. Unbeknownst to him, Duval gets replaced by one Charles D’Aubigny, who is eager to stop Robespierre...

Yes, Citizens, they attempted to make a thriller/detective story of sorts, which isn’t a bad idea. If my prompts are any indication, there’s a lot of genres that fit the setting of the French Revolution. In fact, I would love to read a good detective story set in this era.

The keyword here is ‘good’ though, and, unfortunately, this movie simply didn’t cut it for me as a detective story.

(Spoilers ahead!)

In all honesty, it’s actually quite predictable in its execution. Personally, I predicted rather quickly that the book wasn’t actually stolen and it was a distraction move.

The complete lack of logic in the actions of this Robespierre and the ridiculous levels of seriousness also were really painful to watch and kept breaking any potential immersion on my part.

For instance, Robespierre’s method of controlling the Convention is not telling who is and who is not on the list.

Now, in Real Life ™️, this hardly stopped the Thermidorians but apparently that’s not the case in the movie! Nobody even tries to speak up against him or, you know, quietly assassinate him to prevent him from getting all the power, which is hardly realistic if you ask me.

I also feel like this plot line of Charles and Madelon (the female lead) being these bitter exes is boring and really done to death. It’s actually one of my least favorite tropes and I would rather prefer them to simply have a professional relationship (because yes, men and women can have platonic relationships), like old acquaintances who went on a spying mission that one time or something similar.

This romantic subplot was really shoehorned into the story in my opinion and I do believe that it would’ve been more tolerable with only the main plot left in the final script, but oh well.

3. The Characters

Once again, boring is the best adjective I can come up with. Fouché felt less out of character than the others though, which is not a good sign.

Madelon is the femme fatale mixed with damsel in distress and Charles is the stereotypical single detective character. That’s about it. They’re both just walking clichés.

Anyway, since the OCs are kind of archetypical and blander than oatmeal without milk, let’s discuss the historical figures.

Robespierre is once again stereotypical, but I find it funny that his HQ are connected to a bakery and his scene with pigeons near the beginning is surprisingly accurate in the sense of the “he likes pigeons” tidbit. I don’t know if the creators did any research on this but it’s a nice detail nonetheless.

And now let’s talk about Saint-Just in this mess. He is ridiculously and cartoonishly evil, kicks kittens to prove it, giggles and grins like me when I write something funny in my chapters and is incredibly dumb. Also, he sounds and acts like he belongs in a Western, not in this kind of movie.

Fouché is...well, Fouché, believe it or not. Opportunistic, cruel, a backstabber and he turns on Robespierre so he is not as out of character as the others. He also makes a face similar to an owl or that “You don’t say” meme. His almost friendly banter with Charles is pretty entertaining though, I’ll give him that.

4. The Setting

The authors didn’t do their homework here properly. I’m not an expert but most outfits don’t fit that epoch and a lot of names are butchered when they’re pronounced. Danton and Marie-Antoinette in particular suffer from that, but so does SJ.

I know that the Internet was not a thing yet but it baffles me that apparently the creators couldn’t bother to consult native French speakers? Dig up information about the time period in archives? Look at portraits? Read books? You know, the usual parts of ❇️ research ❇️. Apparently, they couldn’t and it really shows.

The backgrounds are better in this department, but nothing particularly impressive here either.

5. The Acting

A+ for effort I guess. Look, guys, people trash actors a lot but I think that here they tried their best with what they had so props for that. The over-the-top acting and the extensive seriousness even made this boredom fest kind of funny to watch at times so I’m going to give it credit where credit is due.

6. The Conclusion

All in all, a pretty bad and boring movie filled with propaganda, clichés, flat characters but also occasional unintentionally funny and cartoonish moments sprinkled in.

If you’re into bad movies, I won’t stop you from watching it but I highly recommend you to do something else with your free time if you’re looking for an actually good movie.

This concludes today’s meeting of the Jacobin Fiction Convention. Stay tuned for updates, Citizens, and stay safe!

Love,

- Citizen Green Pixel

[yeahwellyourface]

MOVIE REVIEW TIME!! A Little Chaos and Far From The Madding Crowd

I had a Matthias Schoenaerts weekend cause the boy can get it. Both of these movies were already on my list, but when I realized he was in them, they jumped to the top. So, here we go.

A Little Chaos

Available on Netflix. Directed by Alan Rickman. Stars: Kate Winslet, Matthias Schoenaerts, Alan Rickman, Stanley Tucci, Helen McCrory, and Jennifer Ehle

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2639254/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

This one has been on my list for awhile but I really wasn’t in the mood for a depressing period piece. FYI, it is not a depressing period piece. In fact, the word I think works best for describing it is “cute.” It is not a great film, but it is very enjoyable. I smiled through most of it and then when I turned it off, I realized I was still smiling.

The basic plot is that French king Louis XIV is building Versailles and his head gardener, Andre Le Notre, is hiring different gardeners to do different parts of the whole since it is a whole lotta shit. Against his original idea, he hires Madame Sabine de Barra to create a section of the garden that will basically be an outdoor ballroom. She doesn’t do well at court, but some people still like her, some don’t. Given that there is an actual outdoor ballroom at Versailles, I don’t think I’m giving anything away by saying that she eventually builds it (although in actuality, it was not built by a woman…unfortunately). But that’s it. It is a very simple little movie. It is full of tropes and could be quite stupid but the amazing cast makes it charming instead.

So, the fantastic cast…everyone is basically doing exactly what you want them to do. Kate Winslet as Sabine de Barra plays a woman who has been through some shit but is gonna get things done her way and it is no use to try and stop her. She is better than you. Just accept it. Matthias Schoenaerts as Andre Le Notre is mainly there to look pretty (difficult with that horrible hair, but he can do it) and worship de Barra as she deserves. Alan Rickman plays Louis XIV because why the fuck not. Stanley Tucci plays the king’s outlandish bisexual brother who adores both his wife and his young lover. He was in the movie for like 10 minutes and was the best thing ever. Seriously, we need to protect Stanley Tucci at all costs. Helen McCrory is Madame Le Notre and is a bad bitch as only she can be. I bow down to her. Jennifer Ehle plays against type as the flighty mistress to the king. I thought I was going to hate her because the character was supposed to be annoying at first, but I ended up loving her too.

So, yeah. Not a movie to go nuts over, but if you are curled up on the couch one afternoon and want something light and sweet, this will do the trick.

Far From The Madding Crowd

Available on Amazon (but you have to pay for it, even with prime). Based on the novel by Thomas Hardy. Directed by Thomas Vinterberg. Stars: Carey Mulligan, Matthias Schoenaerts, Michael Sheen, Tom Sturridge, Juno Temple.

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2935476/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

This is another one I’ve been considering for awhile. See that bit above where it says “Based on the novel by Thomas Hardy?” Yeah….that’s why I was putting it off. Now, it’s not that I dislike Thomas Hardy. I actually enjoyed Return of the Native…kinda. But his stuff is very much overdramatic, windswept English countryside. And damn, if that is not something that I am always willing to go for. But I’d do it for Matthias Schoenaerts. So I did.

So, here is the basic plot if you’ve never read the book (and I actually haven’t, but I’ve read about it…does that count?)…young woman, Bathsheba Everdene, with a middle-to-upper class education lives with family on a farm because her parents died. She meets a young man, Gabriel Oak, and then enjoy hanging out and working on the farm together. He has land that is almost paid off and a bunch of sheep. Her aunt owns the land that they live on and work. He falls in love and asks her to marry him. She says no, she doesn’t want to get married and be tied down to a husband. Immediately after, their fortunes reverse. He loses all his sheep (and it’s kinda horrible and depressing, so if you need to look away, I understand) and his land. She inherits a pretty nice farm and is no longer dependent on family. He’s wandering looking for work and accidentally stumbles on her new farm and gets a job as a shepherd there.

Now that she is moving among the landed class, she meets the next door neighbor, Mr. Boldwood, who falls in love with her (the way that happens is she plays a prank on him and is generally an asshole and hurts him and damn, woman, wtf, that was mean…but she does apologize). He asks her to marry him. She says she’ll think about it.

Mixed in with this, we see a side story about an army sergeant and his pretty sweetheart, who used to work at the Everdene farm but ran away to be with the guy…never a good move. They were supposed to get married, but she went to the wrong church. By the time she gets to the right church, he thinks she stood him up and has left. She is now destitute since she left her friends and family. This was another scene where I couldn’t bear to watch. I knew what was going to happen and seeing them both so happy getting ready for the wedding just broke my heart, so I fast forwarded. Sue me.

Anyway, army sergeant Frank Troy is now wandering drunk around the countryside brokenhearted and literally runs into Miss Everdene. She thinks he’s cute and decides to meet up with him. He shows off flashy sword moves and then kisses her and pulls a trump and then runs off. Because we do stupid things sometimes, she is completely charmed by him and runs away to marry him.

Now, through all of this, Mr. Oak has worked for her and been there for her and tried to help her and give advice. He points out that she was an asshole to Mr. Boldwood and she gets pissed at him for telling her because she knows she was and she doesn’t want to be told. He knows that Sergeant Troy is an asshole and tries to convince Miss Everdene to stay away from him but she doesn’t.

Literally at her wedding dinner with Sergeant Troy, Miss Everdene (Mrs. Troy now) realizes that she married and asshole. But she’s stuck with him.

If you really want me to tell you the rest in detail, I will. But basically, she has to deal with an asshole husband, a rich neighbor who is still in love with her (and kinda off his rocker about it), and the shepherd who has loved her for years and been there to support her even when she was an asshole to him. I wonder who she will end up with?!?!Okay, now for the movie. It was just okay. Like, I’ve read the first couple chapters of the book and there is SO MUCH INFORMATION that cannot be put into a movie. There is just not enough time. This is the problem with turning a book into a movie. They have to skip so much that they can end up leaving a lot of it flat. We see Miss Everdene be a good person several times. But we also see her be an asshole. I wish we had been able to see her more indepth. But there wasn’t time. I never felt fully connected to her. When she was being good, I liked her. When she was being an asshole, I disliked her. There was no continuity between those feelings. The movie never gave me a chance to feel conflicted over her. It was all surface feelings. Carey Mulligan does a good enough job for what she is given. But the best relationship is between her and her companion. That’s the only string that carries through with that character.

Matthias Schoenaerts is beautiful, of course. He is the solid character that all the others are whirling around. He is a big man, much bigger and taller than Carey Mulligan and Michael Sheen, but you can see how he curls his shoulders down to give the two of them more power as he is lower class than they are. There is a scene between him and Michael Sheen near the end where he straightens Sheen’s tie, and I think that is the only moment between those two where Schoenaerts stands up straight, as for a moment, they are almost equals. However, by the end of the scene, he is curled in again. It’s really interesting on the choices made there. Because when he is not in a position where he is “under” them, when he is working and being damn good at his job, he is standing up straight. It’s fascinating to see the difference between the two sides of this character.

Michael Sheen. Oh goodness, Michael Sheen. He did so much better for this character than this movie deserved. I love this man and he is so good as an actor, but this character is a bit out there. I wonder how much of his bipolarness is in the book. Cause the character is all over the place in the movie. He goes from one extreme to the next. And yes, some of the plot points are definitely from the book, but the in between stuff….is he really like that? So, Sheen does a great job with what he is given, again. But the character is just so weird and again, very little continuity throughout.

Tom Sturridge plays Sergeant Troy. This character is a huge asshole and Tom Sturridge plays him perfectly. If I met Tom Sturridge on the street, I would want to slap him because I hate him. That is a good sign for an actor.

Juno Temple…another one I love. She is slowly becoming a bigger name, but deserves so much more. In this, she plays Fannie, Sergeant Troy’s first sweetheart. He didn’t deserve her. And I love Juno Temple, so she can do no wrong.

Overall, it’s an okay movie. I won’t pay for it again. I rented it and I’m glad I didn’t buy it. But if it comes on tv, I’ll watch it. If you want to watch it, you won’t hate it. But I don’t recommend running out and grabbing it any which way. The cinematography was BEAUTIFUL. The way they used light was lovely.

So, since I mentioned Matthias Schoenaerts as my reason for going ahead and watching these, lemme talk about my feelings for him in these. He is very strange. Watching interviews with him and seeing his artwork, he seems to be a ball of chaotic energy, but in both of these movies, he is the calm figure that the others bounce around. I watched the beginning of Rust and Bone, but then my internet went out and I wasn’t able to finish it without paying for it again (which I intend to do). And of course, I ADORE The Old Guard. That’s another one where he plays against what seems to be his personality type. I also love The Drop (seriously, one of my all-time favorite movies and if you haven’t seen it, go watch it NOW). That character seems to be a bit more on his level with the chaos, but I hope not with the assholeishness.

Either way, he was stunningly beautiful in these movies. Kate Winslet adored working with him and says that he was so sweet about their sex scene because she was pregnant and felt like shit. His hair is awful in A Little Chaos, but I’ll forgive him, this time.

Anyway, watch A Little Chaos at some point. And I guess you should watch Far From The Madding Crowd at some point too, but don’t pay for it if you don’t have to. Go watch The Old Guard and The Drop RIGHT NOW. Those are much better movies of his. Go watch Rust and Bone and I will watch the rest of it soon.

In A Little Chaos.  Seriously....why would they do this with his hair.

And in Far From The Madding Crowd.  See....much better. And I see you, dude in the background looking at him. I agree, he is definitely a snack.

[thermtiker]

New TTS Base Operator Bios

saw some pictures of them floating around, but I like text and I literally spent about nine hours copying all of these so here they are, enjoy them under the cut they’re in order of CTU, then what order they come in in that CTU (attackers -> defenders)

(i know this isnt our usual content, so check tags if youre curious about comic statuses)

Sledge

Background:

“Coming through!”

Born in the far north of Scotland, Cowden’s military father and nurse mother moved to Inverness with him and his three siblings when he was five. His athleticism elevated him to the position of Captain of the 1998 Scotland Under-20s Rugby Union Team. Following a long family tradition of military service, Cowden joined the 3rd UK Mechanised Division of the British Army. His drive and physique suit the division’s historical nickname of “Iron Sides.” Cowden’s first assignment was in the Armoured Division where he studied engineering and specialized in upgrading the infantry combat vehicles. From there, he developed various breaching tactics. He was then recruited into the SAS, where he holds multiple record s in speed and strength. An expert in mechanical, ballistic, explosive and thermal breaching strategies, Cowden is the operator to choose for quick and relatively silent destruction.

Psychological Report:

It’s part of my job to understand where the country shapes the person and Specialist Seamus “Sledge” Cowden seems indelibly shaped by the rugged terrain where he was born. It isn’t just his imposing presence and athleticism. I can’t help but feel that his personality evokes the wilderness as well. He’s stoic and proud, though admits that he can be hot-headed at times. Field reports describe his courage, leadership, and extensive operational experience as much as they mention his unpredictability. He’s much more than a “gentle giant” as some suggest. [...]

Cowden is something of a raconteur, and for much of our discussion he told me one rowdy tale after another. When he was twelve he cobbled a hang glider together out of boat sails and launched himself off his house. He broke both ankles. During military training, he accidentally collapsed his entire sleeping barrack while testing a new breaching technique, and another time he sank a captain’s motorcycle by riding it off the pier because he wanted to see how far it would travel on the surface - not very far, I gather. His stories aren’t just to entertain. They help to establish a comfortable connection. It’s such a casual, offhand leadership style. [...]

Cowden views his fellow operators as family, Specialist Mike “thatcher” Baker in particular, who he credits for convincing him to switch to the Caber. Numerous Rainbow operators refer to Sledge as one of the easiest operators to work with. [...]

Overall, Cowden is easy-going and unpretentious , though he gets ruffled at the mention of politics. A self-proclaimed news junkie, he doesn’t shy away from debates. In fact, it’s the reason he joined the military, and why one of his brothers is currently an elected MP. Cowden understands that while on the assignment Rainbow operators don’t voice their political opinions and so far there hasn’t been any issue. We should trust that he can control his hot-headedness. At least before he’s down at the pub.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

British Army: 1st (UK) Armoured Division

HND in Automotive Engineering

22nd Engineer Regiment RE

Relevant Experience:

British Army: 3rd (UK) Mechanised Division

Operation Telic

Operation Herrick

Notes:

Device: Tactical Breaching Hammer “the Caber” Operator: Specialist Seamus “Sledge” Cowden

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Seamus “Sledge” Cowden

I’m told you wanted to have a looksee at my Brucie. Why? No offense, Mira, but I don’t need someone mucking about with my Caber, trying to make it look sexier. When Mike’s uncle built it for me (sorry… Specialist bloody Mike “Thatcher” bloody Baker), he damn well made me forge the thing over and over again until we got it right. It’s a solid piece, no forge weld to introduce weak points. It’s made with a differential heat treatment to better transmit the shock of blows along the core and the shaft is covered in fiberglass molded to my handspan for better grip. It’s a solid 4140 steel, built for shock and stress, balanced to prevent it from being too top heavy. I don’t need laser sights to put on the damn thing, and I can promise you that if any of your techies come near Brucie, as the saying goes, “it will kill.”

--Specialist Seamus “Bloody Sledge” Cowden

Thatcher

Background:

“What you can feel, what you can touch - those are the things that are real. Everything else is just a distraction.”

Baker comes from a long line of dockworkers and soldiers. At the age of eighteen he enlisted for active military duty despite family pressure to join the family trade as a stevedore. Immediately thrown in politically-charged conflicts, Baker’s performance was exemplary. Further training and another conflict gave him a Distinguished Flying Cross and Conspicuous Gallantry Cross. His keen sense of observation and decisive manner, combined with his close-quarter combat techniques, made him an invaluable on VIP protection detail.

With extensive field experience and proficiency in SAS tactics, Baker is a critical asset to any Rainbow operation. He has honed his expertise with protective measures and electronic counter-measures and frequently works with engineers to advance the equipment. As a Warrant Officer Class 1 (Regimental Sergeant Major) Baker serves as a respected and effective mentor to new recruits. Baker maintains his agility training, continuing abseiling, and has broken numerous mountain climbing records.

Psychological Report:

Knowing that Specialist Mike “Thatcher” Baker is cynical towards bureaucracy, I wasn’t surprised that he was reluctant to meet me. I needed a different approach. Baker lives aboard the Iron Maggie, a boat in drydock that he repairs in his spare time. It’s his “retirement plan.” I suspect that he moved there temporarily when his wife divorced him, but now he knows no other civilian home. [...]

Baker has a distinguished record of military service. He’s respected and im some cases idolized by those he mentors. When he welcomed me to his home, I could see why people describe him as down-to-earth. There’s more to Baker’s gruff, no-nonsense exterior - it just required some effort for him to trust me. [...]

Raised in a coastal town, Baker has a strong connection with the water. We spent our entire meeting on the deck of his ship, overlooking the cold sea. Being someone who isn’t handy - mastering a paper airplane as a kid was the peak of my craft - I wanted to know what Baker likes about boat building and working with his hands. He told me that besides appreciating the precision of it, he liked shaping the wood into something that has a purpose. I suggesting it was similar to how he mentors recruits. He replied that he doesn’t care about the “why” of things the way us “Uni types” do. [...]

Specialist Seamus “Sledge” Cowden is one of his few close friends. Baker’s tolerance of Specialist Mark “Mute” Chandar surprised me, since Baker is impatient with youthful bluster. When asked, Baker would only say: “Mute’s a clever kid.” He almost sounded envious. I wonder if Mute reflects someone Baker wishes he had been. [...]

While by no means a Luddite, Baker does have an aversion to technology. To him, it’s a tool - like a hammer or screwdriver - nothing more. The idea that people come to rely on it as a crutch is what annoys him. I suggested that he spend time in the engineering lab with Specialists Masaru “Echo” Enatsu and Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon. They have a lot to teach one another.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

British Army: Parachute Regiment

British Army: S.A.S. Bravo Two Zero

British Army: S.A.S. Warrant Officer Class 1 (Regimental Sergeant Major)

Relevant Experience:

Operation Nimrod

Operation Barras

Operation Telic

Operation Lightwater

Operation Ellamy

Notes:

Device: EG MKO-EMP grenade Operator: Specialist Mike “Thatcher” Baker

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

One of the biggest challenges for a team is Specialist Mike “Thatcher” Baker’s EG MKO-EMP grenade since the electromagnetic surge can disable electronic gadgets within its radius. The EG MKO-EMP disrupts - in some cases it can destroy - quite a few of our devices. It locks up my Cardiac Sensor so it can’t detect another pulse!

The EMP is deceptively simple. It’s the grenade impact that charges the electron particles. That concentrated energy cascades across an area - even through walls - and spikes nearby electronics. Short of wrapping ourselves in a Faraday shield to protect our devices, there isn’t much that we can do against that.

--Pulse

Smoke

Background:

“Sure, I care about the environment. Immediately around me, anyway.”

Though Porter wasn’t an exceptional student, aptitude tests revealed his propensity for sciences. Encouraged by faculty and his parents, he was able to follow a more unorthodox manner of education with tutors, home-schooling, and field science. He flourished in this break from formal classroom studies and quickly developed his skills in chemistry, biology, and math. Uninterested in pursuing a formal university education, Porter forged a fake ID and enlisted in the British Army. Though the rigidity of army rules wasn’t always a good fit, it was offset by the diverse range of training and experiences army life gave him. While he has been reprimanded for breaking rules, his superiors quickly recognized both his innovation and strategic perspective. He was then encouraged to join the SAS. Porter prefers to acquire knowledge and skills, such as language and music, in his own way and does not excel in a formal training capacity. 

Psychological Report:

It’s important for me to not have any preconceived expectations before a face-to-face with any specialist. Since assessments of Specialist James “Smoke” Porter contain some contradictions, I couldn’t have settled into any viewpoint anyway. So essentially he entered my office as somewhat of a mystery. [...]

Porter is consistently described as detached. I reviewed his files and found that his “aloofness” occurs during high-intensity situations. It’s likely not detachment, but focus. I’m reminded of my uncle who used to tap his forehead and tell me to master my mind. Porter, I think, is mastering his mind to stay on task and filter out dangerous distractions. He strives to keep emotions away from decision-making, opting for outlets such as live music events to deplete the tension, thus enabling him to be the person he needs to be on the job. [...]

It’s clear that Porter’s parents encouraged him to be a free spirit and develop his education and personality on his own terms. While it resulted in some unfortunate mishaps - one science experiment left some physical scars but no emotional ones that I can see - there was a great benefit in it. [...] Porter’s free range education helped create a complex, dynamic person who isn’t easily categorized.

Porter is popular among his teammates and considered valuable despite some recklessness. Descriptions such as thrill seeker and fearless seem simplistic to me, however. There’s more nuance to Porter than that. He’s measured and understands calculated risks. Porter - and our other operators = understand that it’s more important to respect fear than try to pretend we never feel it. [...]

Self-taught from an early age, Porter continues to spend time cultivating his own identity. He enjoys acquiring experiences and once he’s mastered them, moves on. The exception is his adopted daughter. He would only share one photo of her. I’ve never seen an infant surrounded by so much paraphernalia, but Porter assures me she is now in high school, excelling within the system he himself was unable to comprehend. Through her, he sees the world in new ways - exactly the kind of challenge he adores.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

British Army

Joint NBC Regiment

Relevant Experience:

Operation Banner

Operation Shader

Notes:

Device: Compound Z8 Grenades

Operator: James “Smoke” Porter

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Liu Tze “Lesion” Long with Specialist James “Smoke” Porter

Controlled tests of the Compound Z8 Grenade required a number of measures including limiting the presence of lab personnel to only the most critical. Strict rules surrounding the PPE disposal (personal protective equipment) and protocols for hazards has to be maintained at all times. Even through the facility is state-of-the-art, additional precautionary measures were required before testing could begin.

The Compound Z8 Grenade mixture’s incapacitating agents are comprised of - [substances are classified and so have been redacted from this document by order of the Director of Research and Development]. As such, the presence of Specialist James Porter and Specialist Liu Tze Long are required at all times, including for any future testing.

First tests were basic data gathering, including the structural integrity and design of the canisters, as well as a deployment timing and range of effect. Evaluation also included a series of tests to measure exposure guidance levels and, where necessary, antidote compounds are being reviewed as well. Data results are still being processed and will be attached when they’re ready.

--Lesion and Smoke

Mute

Background:

“People think my codename is because I don’t like to talk. Maybe I just don’t like you.”

An exceptional and well-rounded student, Chandar was one of the youngest accepted into the University of Cambridge. He majored in electronics and computer engineering, completing an internship at a prestigious tech company where he contributed to the design and function of security system prototypes. His ingenuity caught the attention of Britain’s national security office, the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ). Having demonstrated acuity in code breaking, Chandar became an intelligence officer within the signals intelligence (SIGINT) unit. He continues to contribute to the applied technical research team and has recently expanded his field of study to include learning Korean.

Psychological Report:

It may not be immediately clear why Specialist mark Chandar’s codename is Mute. While he dislikes small talk, he isn’t particularly reserved and in fact can be brash - a trait that is off-putting to some. Whatever social agitation he experiences, there are some indications that he’s unable to shake it off. I suspect it’s because he’s impatient. He needs to appreciate that there are different approaches to solving a problem. Interestingly, Specialist Mike “Thatcher” Baker seems begrudgingly tolerant of him and has been known to speak up in Chandar’s defense. [...]

Chandar tends to gravitate to certain personalities. In particular, I’ve noticed that he’s been interacting with Specialist Timur “Glaz” Glazkov lately. Because Chandar revels in deconstructing equipment to create something new, I think he’s drawn to abstract thinkers and Glazkov has a similar talent for seeing complex situations in a unique way. [...]

Given his background in information security, Chandar understands secrecy and seems uncomfortably with expressing himself or with personal questions. In his field, and here at Rainbow, information is a critical - life and death - commodity. So of course, I respect this but only up to a limit. I had to find another way in and we managed to find common ground in discussing History, of all things!

For someone so focused on science he surprised me. His hometown of York is one of the most historic cities in England and it’s a city I adore. He described in wonderful detail how he had to pass the Gothic church on his walk to school. He liked to lean back and look up at the bell tower that it made him wobbly. [...] My meeting with Chandar reminded me that we here at Rainbow tend to focus on how our operators excel in the STEM fields, but there is a great value in our operators having passion and interests across a broad spectrum of studies. Chandar demonstrates why he’s much more than someone who is used to being the smartest person in the room. Despite his young age, I’m certain he has something to teach the others.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

University of Cambridge: Bachelor of Science, Engineering; PhD Electrical Engineering

Britain’s Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ): Signals Intelligence Specialist (SIGINT)

S.A.S.: SIGINT Communications and Technology

Relevant Experience:

Tempora

GCHQ Prototype engineer

S.A.S. Prototype engineer

Notes:

Device: “Moni” GC90 Signal Disruptor

Operator: Specialist Mark R. “Mute” Chandar

Evaluation Lead: Chul Kyung “Vigil” Hwa with Specialist Mark R. “Mute” Chandar

Rainbow Director Harishva (Six) Pandey and Research and Development Director Elena (Mira) Álvarez have made these evaluations a top priority. I was asked to review the GC90 Signal Disruptor alongside Specialist Chandar, He’s invested many years researching defense systems and GPS-Reliant Military Systems. Really he’s the expert on the subject.

Specialist Chandar and I put the GC90 “Moni” Signal Disruptor through a number of interior and exterior scenarios. The key focus was to test jamming signal parameters based on several constraints while keeping the devices weight to a minimum.

Regarding the attached evaluation results… Specialists Weiss and Pichon (IQ and Twitch) made repeated requests to review the data because both have devices that are powerful counters to the Moni. I didn’t want to be uncooperative but I wasn’t clear on the protocols. Mute wasn’t granted access to IQ RED MK III results “until Director Álvarez had seen them.” So Mira, I’m leaving it to you to decide.

[Comment_E. Álvarez: That’s fine, Vigil. I’ll handle it from here.]

--Vigil and Mute

Ash

Background:

“You can never truly understand a conflict until you’ve been on both sides.”

Cohen’s mother is a renowned Jewish political activist and professor while her Palestinian father is a professor of Middle Eastern Studies. Cohen was raised in Israel, excelling in Mathematics and Physics. She earned a degree in Structural Engineering at Tel Aviv University and spent a few semesters at Boston University.

Cohen then enlisted in the Isreali Defense Forces (IDF). After undergoing the rigorous twenty-two month training for the elite Air Force unit, Shaldag, she served five years. Skilled in ground and airborne operations, all-weather and all-terrain navigation and reconnaissance, she was invaluable in Operation Orchard. Moving to the US to work with the FBI SWAT, Cohen applied her degree in Engineering and gift in structural resistance to develop advanced demolition tactics and equipment. Along with Hebrew, Cohen is fluent in Arabic, English, French and Greek.

Psychological Report:

I had several meetings with Specialist Eliza “Ash” Cohen before I gave up on convincing her to not see me as a commanding officer. She asked so many probing questions, it was starting to feel as though she were analyzing me. [...]

Cohen isn’t interested in discussing her childhood. There’s resentment toward a judgemental grandmother, but no lasting trauma. Military service acted as an escape from family tensions and appealed to her ordered and focused personality. Cohen added that she appreciates high-risk, high-reward scenarios, but didn’t elaborate on what level of personal risk is acceptable.

Her identity is intertwined with her military training and operations. Extracting anything personal from the tangle is difficult. Cohen is cautious and doesn’t cultivate many close relationships. Her bond with Specialist Miles “Castle” Campbell is therefore important to her - and I would say to the team as well. It’s certainly a good pairing. Campbell’s amenable personality enables Cohen to step out of her comfort zone without feeling self conscious or judged. [...]

Cohen uses other people’s assessments to describe herself: She told me that Specialists Dominic “Bandit” Brunsmeier and James “Smoke” Porter tell her she’s “too serious,” while others describe her as “intense,” and that she enjoys being proven right. So I asked if she thought any of these descriptions were accurate. She told me that she only cares about whether the other operators respect her. I’m confident they do. [...]

On operations, Cohen is exemplary: she thinks fast, and her aggressive style almost always puts her at an advantage. During debriefs, however, I’ve noticed a different kind of focus. The residual stress of combat causes her to dwell on every misstep, perceived or real. Self-evaluation is understandable from someone so highly skilled, but it also has an effect on her team. It’s important to encourage her to process the events as a joint effort and not simply assume the critique alone. Cohen - like all operators - knows there will be situations she can’t prepare for. And yet, she alone allows the stress of the unknown to eat at her. This will need to be addressed.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Tel Aviv University: Bachelor of Science, Engineering

Isreali Air Force

Shaldag

FBI SWAT (JINSA LEEP)

Relevant Experience:

Second Lebanon War

Operation Orchard

Austere Challenge

Notes:

Device: M120 CREM Breaching Rounds

Operator: Specialist Eliza “Ash” Cohen

Evaluation Lead: Dr. Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Specialist Eliza “Ash” Cohen was not thrilled when she saw me examining her M120 CREM Breaching Rounds. She paced around me like a leopard stalking prey. I’m the Director, I’m perfectly capable of being professional.

Specialist Cohen is very hands-on and from the start she directed the design and function of the M120 CREM. Up close, I can see that it’s well-designed. What surprised me was how the titanium drill bit is designed like a threaded needle so that it “injects” the detcord into the surface. That explains why the damage zone is so effective.

If there’s another counter besides Jäger’s Active Defense System, I’ll find it. In the meantime one strategy that works pretty well is knowing that Miss KickInTheDoor tends to get caught up in her own hype and rush ahead without enough intel.

My examination of the M120 CREM provided some solid insights, plus it was fun. Ash seemed worried that I might mess with it. I don’t need to flip switches on her gear to win.

--Dr. Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Thermite

Background:

“You see a wall, I see an opportunity.”

Trace joined the Corps straight out of high school, making him a fourth-generation Marine. Following his first tour of Iraq, he obtained enough experience to volunteer as an explosive ordnance disposal technician. After his second tour of Iraq, Trace returned to the U.S., enrolled in university, and earned a Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. He brought his experience and skills to the FBI, where he spent a number of years as a field agent within the Hazardous Materials Response Unit. Seeking more dynamic environments, Trace transferred into FBI SWAT, where he excelled at developing new barricade protocols. He then earned a spot in Rainbow where he’s shown further interest in research and development on gadget upgrades. Trace’s hometown of Plano has a major concentration of Chinese Americans, and as such Trave has a conversational level of Mandarin.

Psychological Report:

For someone so disciplined and orderly, Specialist Jordan “Thermite” Trace likes to surprise. He can be a practical joker and he’s always ready with a smart aleck comment. Beneath the surface, however, the recent loss of his sister to cancer, and the death of his mother a few years priors, have made it difficult for him to channel his thoughts and energy with the focus to which he is accustomed. [...] I am concerned that he uses humor to avoid his grief. It’s important he understands that some coping mechanisms can delay the healing process. There are resources that can help him, and I will continue to offer them when and where I may. [...]

Trace demonstrates strong tactical leadership, but can also plow ahead without consensus. I don’t believe there’s any lasting friction with other team members. He’s well-liked by the others and has a solid working relationship with Specialists Yumiko “Hibana” Imagawa, Mike “Thatcher” Baker, and Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon. He can be quite the social-butterfly in his downtime. [...]

A few things to work on: Trace has excellent communication, when he chooses to use it. He’s has good strategies but sometimes tends to “lock in.” I know that he’s capable of being a more agile thinker, so I’ve given him some tips on how to recognize when he’s becoming too… bullheaded. [...]

There’s a lot going on behind his smile. I’d like him to find a way to regulate himself, to find balance for his work and private life. Trace doesn’t show obvious stressors, opting instead to channel any anxious energy into something positive such as the the R&D lab. It has been difficult to convince him that he needs a break from his role and identity as an operator. Shifting his attention to other intense tasks isn’t a solution. [...] I’ve given him some mental relaxation exercises that don’t demand considerable time, but can be tackled throughout the day. Imagawa, in particular, can be a good influence on him since she regularly practices mindfulness techniques to focus and relax. I hope he will take her advice to heart.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

USMC Close Quarters Battle School

USMC Methods of Entry

USMC Helicopter and Rope Suspension Techniques Master Course (HRST)

Texas A&M: Bachelor of Science, Chemistry

FBI Field Agent

FBI SWAT

Relevant Experience:

Two tours of duty in Iraq

Fleet Antiterrorism Security Teams (FAST)

Notes:

Device: Brimstone BC-3 Exothermic Charges

Operators: Specialist Jordan “Thermite” Trace

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Yumiko “Hibana” Imagawa

Thermite’s Brimstone was one of the first devices tested in the lab. It’s the same way he has to be the first through any reinforced walls. Always has to be first. :)

On the day of testing, Specialist Trace was busy developing additional prototypes as he did during Operation Chimera and wasn’t immediately available. Since I’m very familiar with Exothermic BC-3 Charge and have an expertise in explosive ordnance, I volunteered to conduct the evaluation.

Our tests included adjusting the mixture stages to see if we could achieve stronger and more concentrated “melt”. The results helped us clearly determine the chemical reaction times at peak temps. Our tests on the Brimstone BC-2 Exothermic Charge went well and produced some surprising results. Some were enough of a surprise to lure Thermite to join us (that was fun!). We’ve been able to book extra time to apply some of the data to his prototypes. I’ll file another entry as soon as we’re done.

--Yumiko

Castle

Background:

“Listen up, people: No one dies today. Any questions’ll just have to wait.”

Miles Campbell graduated from Cal State LA with a bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice and promptly joined the LAPD. Recruited into LAPD SWAT, Campbell excelled in tactical support and high-risk incidents. His careful application of dynamic and deliberate entries made him a Captain early on, while his exceptional perimeter control earned him his first commendation.

Always interested in the safety of his team, Campbell worked tirelessly to perfect defense and reinforcement techniques and equipment. He has earned multiple commendations since his first and is a certified firearms specialist. Transferred to the FBI as a field agent where he trained with the German Federal Police (GSG-9), he was then recruited into the FBI SWAT team. Campbell has participated in cross-departmental training sessions with international law enforcement agencies, including the SAS and GIGN.

Psychological Report:

Within minutes of my first meeting with Specialist Campbell it was like being with an old friend. He has an easy-going manner. We joked over American football and our football - side note: look up the origins of the word “soccer.” I have a 20 quid bet on it. [...]

Reports repeatedly mention that Campbell is referred to as “papa bear” or “the diplomat” among the Rainbow operators. He described how he smoothed over a heated discussion between two operators the other night. It’s clear that he’s the team’s social glue. This, and his openness, means that Campbell can be grouped with any member of Rainbow. I’m not surprised that he’s the one with whom Specialist Eliza “Ash” Cohen feels the most comfortable. [...]

His sense of fair play is clear in both his personal and professional life. I wondered if it was ever a struggle for him, given what he’s seen. Without hesitation he told me: His job is to protect those who can’t protect themselves. Beyond the sense of justice that motivates him, he has a desire to transform things for the better. [...]

Our discussion explored his appreciation of teammates, world cultures, and his love for the abused dogs he’s rescued. Campbells a curious person, someone who enjoys learning for learning’s sake: Habitually staying up late to watch any sort of documentary certainly makes him a kindred spirit for me. He draws his positive energy from his parents, who have been married 42 years and are still madly in love. Along with inheriting their work ethic, it’s their playfulness he tries to emulate. [...]

Campbell is a hopeful person. He believes in the potential of people - all people - and wants to be an agent of change. He’s so concerned for others that he may overlook his own needs. I suspect this is what sparked his recent blow-up after a training exercise. His frustration with himself was evident. One of his strategies hadn’t played out the way he had hoped. Clearly, we need to make sure he gets as much encouragement as he offers to the others.

-Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

California State University, Los Angeles (Cal State LA): Bachelor of Science, Criminal Justice

LAPD: Police Officer, SWAT

FBI: Field Agent, SWAT

Relevant Experience:

GBI New Operator Training School (NOTS)

Multiple cross-departmental training sessions with Federal and International law enforcement including SAS, GIGN and GSG 9

FBI SWAT WMD training

Notes:

Device: UTP1-Universal Tactical Panel

Operator: Specialist Miles “Castle” Campbell

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Miles “Castle” Campbell

Simple and sweet, that’s how I like it. When i first joined Rainbow, the techs started showing me all sorts of contraptions, but I wasn’t going to be someone’s guinea pig. Do you know how many times Bandit complained about getting shocked or Maverick sucked on his fingers because the torch ran too hot? From what I understand, my Universal Panels are unique because they use nucleation, which allows the carbon nanotubes to guide polymers into longer chains. This makes for stronger panels, the kind of toughness that Kevlar can’t approach*. And I’m fine with that. All these nanotubes make for a lighter load. Just rolls them down, nail them into place, and we’re ready to throw down. Better than those heavy-ass deployable shields.

*I had to memorize that part so I could recite it to Specialist Chul Kyung “Vigil” Hwa in Korean.

--Specialist Miles “Castle” Campbell

Pulse

Background:

“The heart is just a motor. Like any machine, it can be fine-tuned.”

Born on Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, Estrada was raised on bases across the US and internationally, in Germany, Turkey, and Japan. His father was a pilot and his mother was a classified Senior Intelligence Officer. Estrada demonstrated acumen for science at an early age and was quickly moved into an advanced curriculum. His focus on Forensic Science and Biochemistry made him a perfect fit for the Biometrics Program with the FBI, which he joined as their youngest intern. He secured his role as an agent and was soon recruited into SWAT, working both in the field and in the FBI Lab. Estrada’s high emotional intelligence led him to join the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team (HRT) where he excelled in crisis management and negotiation tactics. His knowledge of behavioral biometrics led to the creation of the Cardiac Sensor, along with several other prototypes which he continues to refine.

Psychological Report:

During operations, Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada keeps his cool and consistently maintains sound judgement. So to meet someone with such boyish enthusiasm was an entertaining surprise for me. The conversation was a lively circuit of topics from biology, fighter jets, and scuba diving, to something his father builds in his spare time: Muscle cars. I had honestly never heard this term before. It completely baffled me. Estrada had to show me pictures. [...]

We discussed his childhood fascination with biology and chemistry. That he wanted to be an astronaut, and he jokes that he still might be. He’s fascinated with the concept of alien life-forms. Which, upon mentioning it, prompted him to describe his deep-sea diving expeditions with bouncing excitement. [...]

What does make Estrada quiet and contemplative is the mention of his mother. He becomes serious and there’s a wistful tone in his voice. It was his mother who first noticed how good he was at deconstruction micro-expressions. She encouraged free-thinking and let him decide the pace of his academic studies. A naturally private person, her work in military intelligence made her even more so, but because Estrada can so easily read others I think it bothers him that he’s unable to read his mother at all. [...]

Life is a sense of adventure and Estrada is ready to grasp it all. It’s a healthy attitude and I wonder how his upbeat energy affects the group. Estrada told me that he’s working on being more in the moment, “slowing time.” He’s striving to be more mindful. I asked if anyone in particular had encouraged this new point of view, but he avoided the question. [...]

Even under the most extreme conditions, Estrada puts his team first; naturally they all speak highly of him. Estrada says it’s the caliber of his teammates that makes him so dedicated. [...] He and specialist Jordan “Thermite” Trace are close, but there is some professional rivalry between Estrada and Specialist Monika “IQ” Weiss. They seem to enjoy goading one another. I’m not concerned. If anything, it benefits Estrada to be challenged once in a while.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Purdue University: Bachelor of Science, Forensics; Master of Science, Biometrics

FBI Biometrics Intern

FBI Biometrics Operator

FBI SWAT Negotiator

Relevant Experience:

Virginia Task Force 1

International Red Cross and Red Crescent Movement

Watertown operation

Notes:

Device: HB-5 Cardiac Sensor

Operator: Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

Hey, Mira. As per your request, here are the specs for my HB-5 Cardiac Sensor. In a nutshell, the sensor uses microwave radiation to detect heartbeats because microwave radar technology has enough fidelity to distinguish human from animal heartbeats. My device takes it a step further by allowing you to “silence” the heartbeats of friendlies. It still detects them, but doesn’t alert you in order to reduce the noise while information gathering. Now here’s the caveat… I’ce already patented the HB-series and the latest variations that will be sent to various emergency management organizations to help locate survivors at disaster sites. While I’ve used it in hostage situations, the original intent is to help urban search and rescue teams. This is first and foremost a humanitarian tool, and my copyrights will guarantee that.

--Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

Twitch

Background:

“Machine learning and teamwork have one thing in common: Always lead by example.”

Pichon grew up in a family of academics in the historic city of Nancy, France, where the children were encouraged to excel in Math, Science, and Technology. Early participation in sponsored computer programming competitions led her joining the army cadets at sixteen. Almost immediately her talent was recognized, particularly in robotics. Her superiors quickly encouraged Pichon to study engineering while continuing her career in the military. From the start, Pichon’s focus has been on adaptable technology that aids soldiers in the field. While there is much praise for her technological achievements, Pichon’s tactical prowess and ability to problem solve quickly and efficiently make her a crucial operational asset. Pichon’s unique combination of talents made her well-suited for GIGN and, later, Rainbow. She is fluent in French, English, and German and her current research focus is AI.

Psychological Report:

Technologically creative isn’t a term I’ve heard before working with Rainbow. According to Specialist Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon’s field reports, it’s the most concise description for her. Of course, it doesn’t encapsulate all of who she is. There’s more depth and surprises to Pichon than anyone expects. [...]

There is some academic rivalry between Pichon and her sister, a physicist, but nothing serious, she tells me. It’s endemic of the perfection her family instilled in their children. Her father told her to strive to be incredibly every day and that it will resonate out into the universe. [...] The Rainbow team speaks highly of her both operationally and in a social setting. Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb, in particular, appreciates her intuition and empathy, while others such as Specialist Olivier “Lion” Flament praise her technological know-how.

I wanted to know how Pichon interprets technological creativity. She said it’s the way she sees things differently and yet remains aware that she’s seeing things differently. So I suppose I would add “philosopher” to her myriad descriptors. [...]

She’s a very hands-on researcher. The manner in which she gets right up close to a robot, interacting with it the way someone would a child or pet, illustrates her innate compassion. Pichon is currently teaching AI empathy so that it can, in turn, teach it to humans. I’d love to delve into this further, and have plants to visit the lab. [...]

Because Pichon’s passion for technology as a way to improve quality of life drives her in research and in her military career, I wonder if she isn’t at times being too idealistic. She’s an excellent operator with many skills to offer besides the tech, and I want to give her more thought to where the human factor is crucial. [...]

Her background and interest in AI means one of Pichon’s favorite pastimes is people watching. Whether it’s settling into a restaurant or taking a bus, she goes wherever there are crowds of people and studies behavior. Travel, too, excites her. The list of where she hasn’t been is shorter than where she has.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Self-trained robotics expert

French Army: 6e Régiment du Génie

Relevant Experience:

Operation Unified Protector

Operation Serval

Operation Barkhane

Notes:

Device: RSD Model 1 - Shock Drone

Operator: Specialist Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon, Project Lead Defense R&D

Let me start by saying how much I appreciate that both Dr. Harry (Six) Pandey and Elena (Mira) María Álvarez, Director of Research and Development, have implemented this evaluation review of all equipment.

I’ve attached a detailed schematic of the current RSD Model 1 (Shock Drone) device. Being able to run the current Shock Drone through controlled tests provided me with much needed additional data. With Elena’s permission, I’ve scheduled further lab time to try some rough prototype ideas.

I’d like permission to add my name to the schedule for evaluation of Specialist Max (Mozzie) Goose’s device known as “Pest”. Because it’s such a powerful counter I’m interested in participating in the tests.

[Comment_E Álvarez: I’ve looked at the schematic with your new modification ideas, and I’m thinking you should get IQ’s (Specialist Monika Weiss) feedback on them. Also, re: Mozzie. There are some issues with the Australian’s availability. If you want to fly there to observe the tests, we can discuss. Mira.]

--Twitch

Montagne

Background:

“Every conflict is an iteration upon the last. Every scar, a victory.” Touré began his career in law enforcement as a uniformed police officer with the National Gendarmerie. They used his imposing form whenever there was a need to show a strong police presence, earning him a spot in the Mobile Gendarmerie where the focus was on crowd control as well as military and counter-terrorism patrol missions. Touré’s push for extensive training provided him with a broad skillset and earned him a position in the GIGN. Though he’s best utilized for his breaching techniques, Touré also has training in combat engineering and reconnaissance. When not deployed with Rainbow, Touré is an instructor at GIGN.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Gilles “Montagne” Touré’s imposing presence, along with his unwavering gaze, is impressive and (as a tactic) I can see how it can be unsettling. He’s a man of few words, even among his friends. I chose to visit him at one of the GIGN Training Centers so that he’d be more comfortable talking. [...] Observing Touré with his trainees gave me a better sense of him. In this capacity he was accessible, fair, and even gregarious. [...]

We started by discussing his role as an instructor. Touré was excited that Rainbow continues to evolve and is proud to be a part of it. He told me there’s always a lot to learn from his peers and that, lately, he’s been trying to stretch beyond his comfort zone. He certainly has taken the lead on including more virtual simulation in our training. He’s hoping to incorporate the unique skills of operators such as Specialist Grace “Dokkaebi” Nam in his next sessions. [...]

Touré has a naturally protective nature. His choice to enter law enforcement speaks more to that than his family’s military history. The middle of four - his two brothers are also in the military - Touré said that the family raised them to be protectors. Their parents recounted stories of various ancestors who fought for what was right. [...] He believes that education is the solution to many of the world’s problems. His sister finished her police training but switched to teaching when she felt that was where she could do the most good.

Because Touré has an understated confidence, I was surprised when he expressed doubt over his role in Rainbow. Many of our operators are exceptionally skilled with languages. Touré isn’t. None of the reports suggest this is an issue, but even a perceived weakness can become debilitating. I encouraged him to select one - only one - language to focus on studying, and asked some of the other specialists to make an effort to include him in their conversations. If all goes well, it’ll feel less like he’s being tested and more like he’s being folded into the group.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Gendarmerie Nationale

Gendarmerie Mobile

Relevant Experience:

Prise de la Grande Mosquée

1994 hijacking, Marseille Provence Airport

Joint training exercises (CENZUB)

Certified GIGN trainer

Notes:

Device: Extendable Shield “Le Roc”

Operator: Specialist Gilles “Montagne” Touré

Evaluation Lead: Dr Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Gilles Touré’s Extendable Shield was one of the first to arrive for evaluation. Le Roc’s heavy black surface is covered in deep battle scars and definitely stands out against our R&D facility’s pristine labs. According to Pulse (Specialist Jack Estrada), it was like the Monolith from 2001 A Space Odyssey had landed. I didn’t understand this reference until he linked images from the movie - he’s right!

Having Monty participate in some of these control tests has given us a better perspective of what he’s up against (and what he puts others up against). The shield has had some modifications in the past and we have had a solid list of adjustments we may want to consider eventually. For now, Montagne’s skill with the Extendable Shield has always been solid. As long as Specialist Touré has good support and communication with the team, Le Roc will continue to do its job as designed.

--Dr Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Doc

Background:

“My job is to keep you alive. Make it as hard as you like.”

Of Algerian and French descent, Kateb grew up in an affluent family in Paris’ 16th arrondissement. He comes from a well-respected lineage in both the military and medicine. In his second year of medical studies with the prestigious Université Paris Descartes, Kateb answered the appeal for volunteers in Médecins Sans Frontiéres (MSF). He has subsequently volunteered numerous times on emergency frontline aid missions around the world. Upon graduation, Kateb declined a prominent private medical practice in favor of a career with the French Defense Health Service. Kateb’s main disciplines is toxicology and ecotoxicology. He has authored studies on biological agents and their effects on at-risk population and damaged environments, and contribution reports to the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control (ECDC). Recognizing the ongoing need for doctors, Kateb continues to volunteer with the MSF. He is a highly regarded medical officer for the commandement des forces spéciales Terre.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb’s wealthy upbringing could have easily turned him into a narcissist, yet he’s one of the most accessible and thoughtful people I’ve encountered. Surprisingly, he didn’t have much interest in being a doctor. The impetus seems to stem from family tradition, though it’s clear his grandfather’s military service was a strong motivation. Kateb admitted that he almost quit at the end of his first year because he didn’t feel any passion for his work. I gather his father thought the mention of “passion” was absurd. [...]

In his second year, Kateb volunteered for MSF and that first mission still resonates with him. The squalor, the chronic lack of supplies, the desperate need. He remembers how the look of worry on the mothers’ faces subsided as they gathered near the tents. That’s when he found his passion at last. [...] Encountering people with so little, it’s understandable that Kateb said that he felt shame. What’s interesting is that he described embarrassment as well for the life he still had. [...]

Field reports reflect Kateb’s selfless acts, yet he has explicitly chosen a combat role. That piques my interest. It was some time before he was willing to share his story with me. During a frontline op in East Africa, the hospital where Kateb worked was stormed by local militia. All of the patients he fought so hard to save were killed. From this horrendous event he realized it was within his power to save lives with a scalpel or bullet. [...]

Kateb’s proclivity for conflict resolution is just one of a dozen skills that make him an asset to Rainbow. It’s clear the team trusts and respects him. He’s developed a strong bond with Specialist Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon, due in part to Pichon’s use of technology to lessen the risk on human lives. Unfortunately, there is also unresolved animosity with Specialist Olivier “Lion” Flament over quarantine procedures that saw several of Kateb’s aid worker friends killed. For now, the situation is stable, if nonreciprocal. That may be the best we can hope for.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Université Paris Descartes: Bachelor of Science, Health; Master Toxicology and Ecotoxicology; Doctorate Medicine, Toxicology, Chemistry, Imagery (MTCI) French Defense Health Service

Army Special Forces Brigade

Relevant Experience:

Opération Turquoise

MINUSCA Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF)

Notes:

Device: MPD-0 STIM PISTOL Operator: Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb

The first thing we’re taught in battlefield triage is MARCH, or looking for and treating in order: Major Hemorrhages, Airways, Respiration, Circulation, and Hypothermia. The first, blood loss, is always the greatest danger and while my stim pistol delivers the necessary dosage of epinephrine to stimulate the heart and dilate the cardiovascular system with adrenaline, the dose also includes micro-pellets that functions as near-instant coagulating agents. They race through the circulatory system, sealing up internal bleeding and damaged blood vessels, and filling in wound cavities from the inside, preventing soldiers from bleeding out. I don’t like the idea of keeping wounded soldiers on their feet, to be frank, but I also know that a soldier who can still fight will save yet more lives.

--Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb

Rook

Background:

“If you’re going to get shot, you may as well do it right.” Nizan’s father is a respected stone mason while his mother held multiple jobs. They both informed his sense of architectural design and precision, helping him earn top rankings in school. Along with Nizan’s intellectual interests, he excelled in athletics from an early age, including Track & Field, fencing, and cycling. He later dropped out of university to cycle across France before returning and joining the Gendarmerie. Nizan thrived in his training, which included specialized qualifications in weapons, surveillance, and criminal investigations. His adaptability put him at the top of the list in military and defense courses, quickly catching the attention of the GIGN. His first operations with that unit combined all the elements to satisfy his endless pursuit of challenges and adventure, according to staff psychologists. Specializing in hostage rescue and surveillance, Nizan’s list of successful interventions is extensive.

Psychological Report:

In reviewing Specialist Julien “Rook” Nizan’s file, what stands out is his ability to adapt to demands. Very quickly into our conversation it was clear that Nizan’s interests are wide-reaching. From his descriptions, it sounds like his parents imparted their eclectic tastes. Julien and his sister, Élodie, were especially encouraged to be curious about everything. I would argue that it’s this openness to the world around him that led to the creation of his protective - yet still highly flexible - armor plating. [...]

Nizan’s father is a stone mason, which requires imagination, precision, and dedication. His mother’s ability to explore different vocations with verve - bookkeeping, street busker, florist, tour guide, sommelier, and chef - all strongly influenced how Nizan adapts to challenges and what goals he sets out for himself. [...] The field reports reflect some of Nizan’s chameleon-like way of merging into whatever role is required. This kind of versatility is rare - I’ve asked leads such as Specialists Gustave “Doc” Kateb and Miles “Castle” Campbell to challenge Nizan more during operations. [...]

I’m curious about how Nizan went from studying architecture to joining law enforcement. He grew up passionate about cycling, auto racing, and rock concerts, and he spent an inordinate amount of time trying to device as scheme by which these could become careers. Ultimately, his interests evolved. Dropping out of university to cycle around France gave him his first sense of freedom. And then his world expanded further when he returned. At that time, the Gendarmerie enlisted his civilian father for an anti-corruption sting with local businesses. Nizan told me he was fascinated by the level of planning required by the police. [...]

Right from the beginning, Nizan remembers appreciating the broad spectrum of skills and range of expertise required to be in law enforcement and the military. Every day is a different. [...] Nizan is one of the more constant optimists on the team. His ability to energize other specialists is important, and he’s certainly well liked. I’d like to see Nizan’s sense of adventure put to better use, however. Complacency benefits no one.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Gendarmerie Nationale

Garde Républicaine

Relevant Experience:

GIGN Marksmanship champion

Notes:

Device: R1N “Rhino” Armor - Armor Pack

Operator: Specialist Julien “Rook” Nizan

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Gustave “Doc” Kateb

Lab time has been limited. I understand this. But Specialist Julien Nizan’s R1N “Rhino” Armor Assessment has been bumped off the schedule four times! I was informed that this was due to the straight forward nature of the Armor Pack and therefore doesn’t require a full lab analysis. This is not ideal. How are these being prioritized? I’d like to have a meeting with Dr. Harry Pandey and Director Elena Álvarez (Six and Mira) to discuss the lab schedule priorities.

The R1N’s composition of boron ceramic plates can limit damage from small arms and effectively “buys time” from fatal impacts so that medical assistance can reach the team in time. As we all know, this is the single most important thing in combat - survival! With something so simple it’s really exceptional and deserves respect. Please, let’s discuss lab time.

--Doc

Glaz

Background:

“Information keeps you alive. It’s how you find your way out of the dark. That, and a flashlight.”

Timur “Glaz” Glazkov’s formidable skill as a sniper served him well within Spetsnaz. He has an exceptional talent for observation and attention to detail. Glazkov grew up in the seaport city of Vladivostok, where he studied art.

In 2004, militants took a school hostage in Beslan resulting in the deaths of numerous people, including children. This motivated Glaz to join the Ground Forces of the Russian Federation. While training at the prestigious Khabarovsk Military Commanders Academy he developed unparalleled marksmanship and was immediately recruited into the 45th Guards Regiment. Assigned to special ops and VIP protected detail, reports consistently show that Glaz possesses a unique creative approach to problem-solving. He is the squad member with the most expertise in long-range scoped weaponry.

Psychological Report:

What stands out about Specialist Timur “Glaz” Glazkov is his wit. It’s surprising from someone so intensely focused during operations. He won’t share his gallows humor with me because he says a civilian wouldn’t understand, and he may be right about that. Still, I find him engaging in our discussions. [...]

Glazkov possesses many traits expected of a highly-trained marksman and field reports demonstrate his knack for improvising in tough situations. His ability to deconstruct complex concepts on the fly likely comes from his artistic sensibilities. [...] I asked what his influences were when he was studying since Vladivostok was quite remote back then. As Glazkov’s father worked in shipping, he had access to plenty of bootleg music and books. [...] His paintings are vibrant -- expressive. They’re more than an escape, perhaps a spiritual cleansing or a depiction of how he perceives suffering, but I’m far from a qualified art critic. [...]

He grew up in the Far East, and his exercises at the Academy included cross-border training with China. His knowledge of Mandarin and China’s culture should prove useful. [...] The rest of his upbringing seems typical: Getting into trouble, getting himself out again. Early operational reports are - let’s say a tad thin. And while he’s clearly self-aware, he’s not willing to discuss much with me. [...]

Glazkov is well-respected by his team. His humor and observational skills make him tolerant of personality extremes and he seems to be among the few operators who strategizes well with Vicente “Capitão” Souza. He laughs when Alexsandr “Tachanka” Senaviev tells him it’s because he too almost lost an eye. [...]

The mark on his right eye - a scar - is from a weapon kick, though his smile leads me to believe that’s not the whole story. I’ve noticed he subconsciously rubs it when he’s bothered. It may be nothing, or may be his “tell,” if how he plays poker with the FBI SWAT contingent is anything to go by.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Cadet Corps

Ground Forces of the Russian Federation

Khabarovsk Military Commanders Training Academy

Spetsnaz: 45th Guards Regiment

Relevant Experience:

Russo-Georgian War

Deployed in REDACTED

Notes:

Device: HDS Flip Sight OTs-03 MARKSMAN rifle

Operator: Specialist Timur “Glaz” Glazkov

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Sebastien “Buck” Côté

The OTs-03 high-powered sniper weapon of Specialist Glazkov’s (Glaz) exceeds all previous Russian designs. I’ve always been eager to try it. Since I happen to be a marksman in my own right, R&D Director Elena “Mira” Álvarez chose me to test it - under the sharp eye of Glaz. (It’s not his staring that unnerves you, it’s that he sketches you while he does it…) The single-point cut-rifled barrel is a key reason this weapon is so effective. There’s no stress on the barrel and no wobble or drift. So if you still miss it’s because you aren’t Glaz. Even a precision weapon as good this isn’t much without the HDS Flip Sight. The OTs-03 has an integrated rail for mounting optics with a tandem configuration allowing quick access to the HDS. This thermal detection is a point of pride and contention among operator discussions. This weapon provides faultless technical backup for someone with faultless skill.

--Buck

Fuze

Background:

“Chaos is only an enemy if you’re unable to adapt.” Growing up in a military family in Samarkand, Uzbekistan, Shuhrat Kessikbayev immigrated to Russia shortly before the fall of the Soviet Union. From an early age Kessikbayev displayed an aptitude for science. His interest in mechanical engineering was honed in the military where he also trained as a machinist. Kessikbayev has applied these skills in numerous engineering projects, including his own weapon, and his ability to improvise in the field with scrap materials and minimal tools has made him a legend among his fellow recruits. This is one of the key reasons he is an asset to Rainbow Operations. During his time in the 27th Motor Rifle Brigade he excelled as a sharpshooter and has extensive weapon knowledge. Deployment within the Spetsnaz is confirmed, however all operation details remain classified. Kessikbayev is fluent in Uzbek, Russian, Ukranian, and English.

Psychological Report:

To say that Specialist Shuhrat “Fuze” Kessikbayev is restrained does not give the full picture. I was reminded of my grandmothers phrase: “Talking to him was like pulling teeth.” When other operators referred to him as mysterious I thought they were joking. I wouldn’t say that he’s difficult. He’s quite pleasant and hospitable. But he is… contained. It took some work but we finally managed to have a revealing conversation. [...]

Kessikbayev is quiet except with Specialist Timur “Glaz” Glazkov. When he does speak, people tend to hang off his every word. Field reports mention that Kessikbayev readily makes himself available in team planning but often falls into a cone of silence during operations. It’s critical that he maintains communications with his team, otherwise there may be further altercations such as the one with Specialist Siu Mei “Ying” Lin regarding civilian casualties. This is doubly critical given some of our operators come from units with “zero casualty” rules [...]

It was necessary to address past reports about Kessikbayev’s recklessness, so I asked him to describe an operation from his point of view. His objective, he explained, is to break down the defenses as efficiently as possible, but insists he isn’t careless. It’s clear that his creative engineering skills are a critical asset. He’s highly intelligent and calculating. While hard-hitting, Kessikbayev does possess good situational awareness. I suggested that he concentrate on improving this during future ops. [...]

I was unable to ascertain any details about his brother who is allegedly MIA. That file remains classified. However, I did manage to get Kessikbayev to open up a bit about his personal life. He was engaged for two years but the wedding was called off after he decided it was “not the road to take.” A proud Uzbek and a proud Russian, Kessikbayev said that growing up his parents encouraged them to embrace all that was Russian, so it wasn’t until his teens when he learned to embrace his Uzbek heritage. I asked him to elaborate on the experiences, but in his typical understated way he simply replied, “It was interesting.”

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

27th Motor Rifle Brigade

Spetsnaz GRU GSO

Relevant Experience:

Participant in the Ratnik gear program

Personal cluster charge, the “Matryoshka”, designed by Kessikbayev, first saw action in [REDACTED]

Notes:

Device: APM-6 Cluster Charge “Matryoshka”

Operator: Specialist Shuhrat “Fuze” Kessikbayev

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Jordan “Thermite” Trace

I’ll admit that I’d already jumped on the device evaluations even before I received the official request. No surprise there, right? Mira always has the R&D lab running at full throttle. So when she asked me to look at Shuhrat’s APM-6 Cluster Charge it took me no time at all to write up my report.

I was already familiar with the Matryoshka, having studied its trigger mechanism in relation to my Brimstone charge. The mechanical assembly is modeled after aerial bomb fuzes where detonation is tied to a fuze with an integrated firing pin. It’s less sophisticated than my Brimstone, but it doesn’t need that to be effective.

Clearing rooms and flushing out defenders is its primary function and I’d say it operates as designed. It actually has a benefit in that some targets are terrified of the boom. Shuhrat obviously understands the importance of classical conditioning. I just wish it only affected the people he’s going up against, but that's the problem with high explosives - they don’t discriminate.

This gadget is a beast. And that’s something, coming from me.

--J. Trace

Kapkan

Background:

“There are many different kinds of cunning. Fortunately, survival requires only one.”

Maxim “Kapkan” Basuda and his brothers grew up in Kovrov, surrounded by the influence of the Russian military. Both parents worked in the military support factories, his father in mechanical engineering and his mother in textiles. Encouraged by his parents and teachers, Basuda joined the Ministry of Internal Affairs as a police officer. Along with the standard training of weapon expertise, protection detail, and high speed pursuit, Basuda showed adroit skills with hostage rescue and information gathering. Clever strategies and self-sufficiency meant that Basuda was perfect for an undercover operation in the port town of Naryan Mar of the Barents Sea. His successful efforts to shut down organized crime prompted his recruitment into the highly respected Spetsnaz. Basuda became an avid hunter and trapper during his time in the Arctic Circle, before behind transferred to Beslan in 2002.

Psychological Report:

On first impression, Specialist Maxim “Kapkan” Basuda can come across as jaded about the world and his role in it. Oftentimes those who are most frustrated sound as though they don’t care, when in fact they care a great deal. It’s important to Basuda that he’s able to make a lasting contribution and so, despite his cynicism or because of it, he’s taken it upon himself to mentor other soldiers. [...] Even though some find him intense, they all speak highly of him. I asked him if he thought he had changed much over the years. He laughed and told me the one change he has noticed: He still eats flint for breakfast, only know he knows when to take his words back. [...]

Basuda enjoys a number of hobbies centered around weapons and hunting, so naturally I wanted to hear what the appeal was for him. A hunter, Basuda told me, needs to think strategically, to understand the animal’s routines and behaviors, but it’s also imperative that the hunter respect their prey. [...] Any true hunter respects animals. They understand conservation and the need to maintain a balance. Wolves and bears play their part perfectly, he told me. Basuda said this understanding makes him a better operator because he can apply it to people - both in how they’re like animals, but also in how they are not.

For Basuda, life is harsh - made harsher by humans. Decisive action and level headedness are what matter. Like wolves - not the fairy tale kind, but the real ones - Basuda considers himself loyal. Wolves, he explained to me, are devoted to family. All members raise the young, and they work together as a team when hunting. [...] Given his explanation, I wondered if he may feel somewhat lonely. A wolf without a pack. At my mention of it, he laughed and tapped his temple and told me he always loves brain science - that my job studies the mind but then is almost always about the soul. Listening to him wax philosophical, I couldn’t help but agree.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Ministry of Internal Affairs, Police Officer

SOBR

Relevant Experience:

Beslan School Siege

REDACTED

Notes:

Device: EDD MKII Tripwires

Operator: Specialist Maxim “Kapkan” Basuda

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Tina Lin “Frost” Tsang with Specialist Maxim “Kapkan” Basuda

It’s exciting to be a part of these evaluations. So I want to extend my thanks to Rainbow Director Harry (Six) Pandey and Director Elena “Mira” Álvarez for including me. Because of my Welcome Mats, Mira felt that I’d be the best choice to take a closer look at Kapkan’s EDD MK II traps. So Kap and I got right to work running our gear through a series of tests: Stress, deployment, and tactical. We made use of every part of the state-of-the-art lab.

Over the course of its development there have been various adjustments made to the EDD MK II. It was updated with a lighter alloy and a revised design has made it more flexible. Overall, the EDD is functioning well and we’re happy with the results (attached).

I learned more about Kap over these past few days than from all of the operations we’ve been on together! He taught me a few new tricks. And despite what he says, I think he learned some things from me too.

--Tina

Tachanka

Background:

“They told me I’d died. They were wrong. I was reborn.” Many of the men in the Senaviev family served in the Red Army. At the age of eighteen, Senaviev was conscripted into military service just as the Soviet Union was ending its operations in Afghanistan. Upon the dissolution of his draft, Senaviev opted to enlist full time. He was part of the wrestling league, where his formidable frame and match strategy earned him accolades. Along with heavy artillery, Senaviev’s training focused on defensive and breaching tactics, and while there he apprenticed as a precision tool and die machinist in the weapons division. Senaviev applied for a transfer to the Russian Navy but for classified reasons remained in the Armed Forces.

Psychological Report:

Calm in a crisis: Specialist Alexsandr “Tachanka” Senaviev’s original file doesn’t cover much more than that. So along with our meeting, I wanted to dig deeper into field reports and observe him in training before I could reassess his background.

Senaviev has a boisterous sense of humor with a booming laugh. He can be quite blunt, but without the intent to offend. Personally, I appreciate someone with clarity. [...] He’s dedicated to his team and is focused and calm during operations. That said, I’ve also observed some frustration. There’s a contingent of specialists who passionately support him, yet Senaviev feels he has potential that he doesn’t know how to maximize. It’s clear he wants to be a devastating force so I suggested changing his approach. If he studies his team, in particular, he should search for gaps in their strategy. It’s there he may just find a place where he fits. [...]

Senaviev’s younger sister is a doctor and our discussion had barely started when he was showing me photos of her in her doctor’s smock, along with a dozen more photos of his nieces and nephews and his own kids. [...] He and his sister grew up in a strict household without many things, which is why he makes a great effort to enjoy life. They both make sure that their kids are loved and raised with laughter. At the same time, he doesn’t like to buy or accumulate physical objects and emphasizes this with his children, much to their consternation. I suspect that’s also partly to do with his divorce. [...]

Though Senaviev is dedicated to his country and appreciates the life his patriotism has brought him, he was adamant that his son and nephew no make a career out of the military. “They can do obligation,” he told me. “Then go be useful in something else.” And so what Senaviev wants for his family and friends - for them to find a role where they find useful - is what he’s trying to find for himself. It’s up to Rainbow, as a team, to guide him.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Soviet Army

Russian Ground Forces

Relevant Experience:

Soviet-Afghan War

First Chechan War

Second Chechan War

Russo-Georgian War

Notes:

Device: Mounted LMG - RP-46 Degtyaryov Machine Gun

Operator: Specialist Alexsandr “Tachanka” Senaviev

Evaluation Lead: Dr. Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Yesterday my day started with being handed a flight case that looked like it had been dropped ten thousand feet from the plane, and then dragged behind the delivery van before it reached us. Inside, the LMG had as many battle scars as the outside case. Even before checking with Tachanka - Specialist Alexsandr Senaviev - I knew that’s how it looked when it was put inside.

Tachanka doesn’t want anyone to “touch his toys” but he understands these evaluations are crucial for team operations. The LMG has had so many modifications to it already - mostly by Senaviev - that it’s in a category of its own.

We are in the process of testing a number of prototype options. In the meantime, I’ve attached a list of possible adjustments we can make to this LMG, if I can get Tachanka to let us make the changes.

--Dr. Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of R&D

Blitz

Background:

“I don’t like photos of myself. The lighting is always wrong.” Kötz is a graduate of Hermann-Böse-Gymnasium, an elite academy specializing in science and language studies. Throughout his educating Kötz excelled both academically and athletically. Among his many unique abilities, Kötz is multilingual with the ability to grasp the nuance of a language quickly. His physically imposing frame and skill with his weapon make him  formidable in space, room-to-room deployment. It’s his tactical experience that secures him as a solid Rainbow elite. These abilities combined with his specialized academic background and good-natured personality make him highly sought after. He easily transitioned from a Schnelle Kräfte soldier in Kosovo to a member of the GSG 9. Kötz has been integral to fostering training practices and good will between India’s National Security Guard and GSG 9.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Elias “Blitz” Kötz has seen his share of intense combat but is physically and mentally resilient. His temperament can best be described as jovial, though his team prefers to describe his sense of humor as “goofy.” I know my son would agree. Kötz uses humor to help diffuse stressful situations. It’s appreciated by his teammates and holds more value than his previous commanders gave him credit for. [...] It’s not that he doesn’t take his job seriously. In fact, quite the opposite: On a number of occasions he was the first to rush a barricade and has often placed the team’s safety over his own. The fact that Kötz prefers to not consider his acts as heroic is a quirk of his personality, but certainly no detriment to his performance. [...]

I like to think of myself as physically fit. Of course I realize these specialists are in a class of their own but even there, Kötz stands out as exceptional. He jokes about how often our med team files requests to strap him to some new machine so they can keep testing his physical limits. For anyone else the attention might be overwhelming, but Kötz takes it all in his stride. [...]

For his easy laugh and quick wit, there’s an earnest passion to Kötz. In the midst of telling me how his childhood was fun and free, he suddenly stopped. All joking aside, he said, “We have a responsibility to look after one another. I take that very seriously.” I have no doubt. [...] I’ve noticed that Blitz is a close confidante with Specialist Lera “Finka” Melnikova. When I asked him about it, he said they enjoy making fun of each other. She impresses him, he told me. It makes me wonder if he harbors some guilt because he’s in perfect health. [...]

Kötz’s mental dexterity can’t be overlooked, yet he often neglects to use it during operations. His amicable friendship with Specialist Gilles “Montagne” Touré may be a pathway to expanding Kötz’s application of his own abilities, and a way to hone their competitive edge.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

International Baccalaureate Hermann-Böse-Gymnasium

Division Schnelle Kräfte

Relevant Experience:

Special Team 6

Trainer: National Security Guard (India)

Notes:

Device: G52-Tactical Light Shield Operator: Specialist Elias “Blitz” Kötz

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Elias “Blitz” Kötz

Flash and bash - Kapow! Is all you need to know.

Serious, when Six and Mira (Doctor Harry Pandey and Director Elena Álvarez) issued a directive to have all of the equipment evaluated, I volunteered to put my G52-Tactical Light Shield through rigorous tests… as long as they treated me to lunch. :)

The flash shield has had modifications that improve the flash and make the shield’s weight lighter. I speak for all operators when I suggest that lighter is always better. Lighter makes faster!

[Comment_E Álvarez: Yes, Elias. I’ve made a note in the file. We’ll do what we can. Mira.]

So it’s all working very well. One last thing! When i opened this file there was already a note: Blitz’s G52 is Flash and Bash aggressive and yet Elias is the total opposite! He’s the sweetest, funniest person to hang out with.

I have no idea who wrote this, but they are correct. I am the funniest and the sweetest.

--Blitz

IQ

Background:

“Life is the ultimate Rube Goldberg machine.”

Weiss’s mother is a renowned mathematician and her father is an inventor whose high academic standards encouraged Weiss and her siblings to win numerous awards in math, science, and music throughout the school years. Thriving in the gifted program enabled Weiss to complete her first internship with a local tech company at the age of sixteen. She was invited to MIT, where she focused on electrical engineering, achieving accolades for her research in Microelectronics. Weiss then joined CalTech for graduate studies in experimental electrical engineering. Weiss returned to Germany to work with military technology research before joining the Bundespolizei (BPOL) as an officer. Both the physical and mental challenges of the job appealed to Weiss and she quickly moved through the ranks. After two years with the BPOL she was recruited by the GSG 9.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Monika “IQ” Weiss is as active physically as she is intellectually. When she does manage to pull herself away from rock climbing, spelunking, and - well, countless other athletic and intellectual pursuits, she writes science-fiction. During our meeting, Weiss exuded so much natural vitality that I felt the same exhaustive rush I felt from completing my first marathon. [...]

Weiss says that she and her siblings are typical overachievers and jokes that even she gets worn out at family gatherings. It’s clear they’re important to her and she confided that she doesn’t have any close friends because only her family understands her.

It isn’t unusual for people with exceptional intelligence to be uncomfortable socializing. Of course, I’m not interested in pushing Weiss into making friends - that’s not my role, nor hers. But I do think she would benefit from reaching out to some of the other specialists beyond the usual training exercises and research. [...]

Her parents encouraged Weiss and her siblings to stretch their imaginations as much as their intellect. She described her mother as “someone madly obsessed with finding patterns in chaos.” Her father was the kind to launch experimental rockets from the family garage. It’s hardly surprising, then, that Weiss inherited their combined talent for focused disruption. [...]

Weiss was coveted by companies and universities from around the world, but she chose law enforcement. That fascinated me. She said it was an opportunity to work with state-of-the-art equipment and express her love for her country at the same time. I pointed out a third reason - academic research can be rewarding but it's typically highly focused and structured, leaving less room for the wildly creative approach that Weiss naturally possesses and that our special operations encourage. [...]

Field reports mention that Weiss can become obsessive when tackling challenges. In the same vein, she suffers from bouts of insomnia. I suspect the latter stems from the fact that Weiss simply doesn’t want to “give up the day”. If she’s to be of utmost use to Rainbow, it will be important that she learns when and where to let go.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT): Bachelor of Science Electrical Engineering

CalTech: PhD Electrical Engineering

Bundespolizei

Relevant Experience:

GSG 9: Protection detail (Iraq)

GSG 9: Technical unit GSG 9: Airborne operations

SWAT training with both Bundespolizei and GSG 9

Notes:

Device: Electronic Detector RED Mk III “Spectre” Operator: Specialist Monika “IQ” Weiss Evaluation Lead: Specialist Monika “IQ” Weiss

Under the direction of both Six and Mira (Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey and Elena “Mira” Álvarez, Director of Research and Development) I’ve been helping lead a team of specialists for the department’s equipment evaluations. As the battlefield evolves, technology needs to evolve too!

Evaluation tests of the RED Mk III “Spectre” in the lab have been mostly positive. The frequencies have been adjusted and the scanner has improved. It’s always been a goal to have the gadget’s detection communicated to the team in real time. Field tests for this modification are attached.

One final note: I noticed Specialist J. Estrada (Pulse) was added to the tech lab schedule. The last time he was in the lab his “prank” modifications to the Spectre were not even mildly amusing. If he’s going to hang around the lab and participate in the evaluations I suggest we all keep a close eye on him. He isn’t as funny as he thinks he is.

--M. Weiss

Jäger

Background:

“Birthdays. Proposals. These should be surprises. No one wants a grenade to the face.”

Raised by his uncle, a mechanic with the Bundespolizei (BPOL) Aviation Group, Streicher was around engines and motors at an early age. While he demonstrated skills in mechanics, it didn’t hold the challenge that he was looking for. Since he had an affinity for complex machinery, his uncle encouraged him to study aeronautical engineering at university, but strict academic form was uncomfortable for him. So while Streicher’s grades were acceptable, he had a tendency toward restless antics. Following his hobby and passion in flying, he spent a considerable time around pilots and aircraft. Private corporations sought him out, but Streicher joined BPOL-Aviation Group because it offered him unique challenges, the opportunity to fly and serve his country. Almost immediately, Streicher began designing defensive weapon systems for BPOL including a ground-based Active Defense System (ADS) prototype. It was this prototype that caught the attention of GSG 9 and Rainbow.

Psychological Report:

Specialist Marius “Jäger” Streicher has a creative curiosity that’s reflected both in his operations and his daily life. The first part of our conversation was spent discussing a documentary that he watched the night before, about scientists searching for new antibiotics. Streicher was so caught up in it that he sent the link to Specialists Gustave “Doc” Kateb, Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon, and Lera “Finka” Melnikova. I’m sure they were all equally interested, if maybe not thrilled to be contacted so early in the morning.

That was only the start of our conversation. Streicher discussed other documentaries that he found fascinating: NASA sending a probe to the sun, new discoveries about Tyrannosaurus Rex, really anything to feed his voracious appetite for information on any subject. Robotics and artificial intelligence are the topics he seeks out the most but he enjoys almost anything. [...]

Streicher’s lively energy made for a dizzying meeting. Though the conversation wasn’t erratic, it had a path, I admit I wasn’t able to see it until I noticed that he often mentions the team: Wondering if so-and-so is doing alright after the loss of their dog, if another one received the birthday card he sent, and other references. Streicher enjoys sharing information so that he can make connections. Not just his connection with individuals, but a web of connections among everyone. [...]

His own upbringing wasn’t particularly lively or warm and the small family meant that he had very little company his age. He told me that his uncle was a fussy man - nitpicky. Streicher appreciates his uncle and all that he taught him, going so far to say that his uncle made him a better person. But Streicher did also say that his uncle was closed off and had no sense of humor. I believe the translation is “grouchy bean counter.” Understanding this background shines some light on why Streicher is so eager to create these connections with his team. He sees them as family. It certainly explains how intensely protective he is of all of them either on operations or during downtime.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Karlsruhe Institute of Technology: Bachelor of Science, Aerospace Engineering

Bundespolizei: Helicopter Technician, Weapons Maintenance

GSG 9: Technical Advisor

Relevant Experience:

CQB training for operations at sea

Involved in anti-piracy ops

Notes:

Device: ADS-MKIV “Magpie” Automated Defense System

Operator: Specialist Marius “Jäger” Streicher

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Marius “Jäger” Streicher

Mira tasked me with the evaluation of my ADS-MKIV “Magpie.” Spending hours in test lab sounds like my type of vacation - no joke. I’m always on the look-out for where things can be improved. For reference, I have attached the field test data for comparison. Data-Data-Data!

Before we get to that, let’s explore the importance of studying defensive strategies alongside breaching techniques throughout history, as well as the evolution of tech -

[Comment_E. Álvarez: References on defensive strategy, historical analysis of strategies, historical documentaries, list of favorite books have all been archived. *Marius, the details are interesting (and I agree with some of your favorite movie picks) but please keep this file focused on the tech results. Mira]

Now that those references help explain my tactical approach, we can better understand these tech results (attached). To sum up: The Magpie is operating at optimal performance. My gear and my operator strategy will - as Pulse says - “continue to cause many salty tears” for our opponents.

--Jäger

Bandit

Background:

“Survival is all about timing. Nature doesn’t give second chances.”

Brunsmeier and his twin brother were raised in a working class district near the Berlin Wall. Their father worked in the police force and strongly encouraged them to join. While working with Bundespolizei (BPOL) Brunsmeier excelled in crisis situations. He transferred to the Aviation Group long enough to obtain his helicopter license but his adaptability and experience with border surveillance flagged him for undercover operations. He was embedded as an undercover agent in the terrorist organization Red Army Faction (RAF) and later in the Hannover Chapter of the Hell’s Angels. In both operations Brunsmeier’s contribution was critical in seeing key members arrested and providing valuable information. While undercover, Brunsmeier honed skills in guerrilla tactics and improvised explosive devices. He developed prototypes of his electrified barricade and deployable shield. He is fluent in German, English, Polish, and Turkish.

Psychological Report:

I wouldn’t expect an operator who worked undercover for years amongst dangerous biker gangs and militants to be anything less than clever and adaptive. And in re-reading Specialist Dominic “Bandit” Brunsmeier’s file I’m struck by just how resourceful he had to be. It’s clear he had to be creative and strategic to stay alive. Frankly then, I was surprised by his sense of humor. It must’ve sustained him through his undercover operations. That said, he can have a cold intensity. Nothing reminds me that I’m a soft civilian more than looking into Brunsmeier’s eyes.

Brunsmeier certainly speaks fondly of his brother. He enjoys being an uncle to his brother’s kids - how they’re the only ones who let him be as silly as he’d like. He told me about their childhood in the shadow of the Berlin Wall. How sometimes they’d hear a BOOM from something triggering a land mine. And how they couldn’t resist pranking the patrol guards with some twin antics. [...]

I didn’t want to ask about the undercover work directly. It wasn’t until our most recent meeting when he volunteered some information. Brunsmeier described the challenge of remembering the real “upi” when immersed in another persona. The question: “Who are you?” would creep into his sleep. If he dared to form an answer, he knew he was as good as dead. Even considering the question was dangerous. So he would push it away. We discussed details of what he had to do to ensure his cover wasn’t blown, the source of some fantastic rumors circulating about him. Smiling, he assured me they’re only half true. I don’t want to break his confidence here. I merely need to assess if it has any lasting impact on him and the Rainbow team. [...] The most I can offer at this time is that the team works well together. [...]

It’s critical that Brunsmeier doesn’t close himself off. Training scenarios alongside operators such as Specialists Miles “Castle” Campbell, Emmanuelle “Twitch” Pichon, or Elias “Blitz” Kötz could help. These operators have calming attributes that may temper Brunsmeier’s inner demons.

--Dr. Harishva “Harry” Pandey, Director of Rainbow

Training:

Bundespolizei formerly known as Bundesgrenzschutz (BGS) Bundeskriminalamt (BKA): Abteilung

Relevant Experience:

Undercover: Red Army Faction, Weiterstadt prison bombing

Undercover: Hannover Hells Angels

Notes:

Device: CED-1 Crude Electrical Device “Shock Wires” Operator: Specialist Dominic “Bandit” Brunsmeier

Evaluation Lead: Specialist Jack “Pulse” Estrada

Given that the CED-1 Crude Electrical Device “Shock Wire” is a fairly straightforward tool in Specialist Dominic Brunsmeier’s arsenal, he was surprised when I told him it was scheduled for evaluation. Bandit’s more of a grease monkey and so he seemed out of place at first in test facility. (Note: Need more lab coats in size Large. I’m not letting him wear mine again. I don’t know what the hell he spilled on it, but I recommend it be incinerated).

So far we’ve collected a solid amount of data. The fun part was running a series of mods to maximize its capabilities and naturally Bandit had his own methodology and tricks up his sleeve. In my opinion, if we want any future modifications the best bang for our buck is to explore battery configuration. Bandit is in the “if it ain’t broke” camp, so it’s going to take some convincing. Let’s tag it as “in progress.”

--Pulse

[inyri]

Nine! For the oc profile :D

(two requests for Nine, actually- the other was anonymous.)

Full Name: where shall we start? Cipher Nine. The Ghost of the Empire. Alliance Commander. Empress of Zakuul (former). Nyriala Barra-Shan.

Gender and Sexuality: female/bisexual.Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: Imperial/human.Birthplace and Birthdate: Lower Kaas City, Dromund Kaas. 3664 BBY.Guilty Pleasures: calling them guilty makes them sound awfully crass, don’t you think? smoky whiskey, soft silk, loud bass, good sex. (none of these change with age. the music gets a little quieter, maybe.)Phobias: strangulation. loss of control. that even at the end, she’s not really alone in her own head. What They Would Be Famous For: for someone who doesn’t officially exist Nine really does have quite a reputation- either as someone to look up to or as a cautionary tale, depending on who’s telling the story. in the Empire, in Intelligence circles especially, she’s a legend: Force-blind, standing toe to toe with the Sith Empress. third-longest active service time for a Cipher Agent on record, depending on how one does the math. (also the fourth-most-downloaded performance video on the Holonet if you know what to look for.) What They Would Get Arrested For: oh, that’s cute. arrested. how quaint. (murder. blackmail. extortion. identity theft. hijacking. arson. indecent exposure. et cetera.) OC You Ship Them With: Nine’s strictly settled down nowadays- she and Theron have some very clear lines drawn in that regard. but in her younger days she was pretty well down for anything so if anyone feels the urge to throw a pre-SoR OC at her, feel free! (just be warned that she never stays the night and you’ll probably be the one buying the drinks.)OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Miira (knight) might have had a go at her if they’d ever crossed paths, and Dirala (trooper) wouldn’t much like what she’s about to do to General Garza- but most of Nine’s old enemies were SIS and most of them are dead now. Favorite Movie/Book Genre: badly written spy thrillers- she loves to pick them apart. sappy romances- she loves to pick them apart, too (as does Theron. Alliance movie night made that mistake exactly twice. they kept talking over the dialogue, though they maintain their version was funnier.)Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: torture as plot device. she can’t watch it. like Vasha, she also doesn’t like villain monologuing, having had more than enough of that living in her head for the span of several years.Talents and/or Powers: completely Force-blind but makes up for it in other ways- top marks in hand-to-hand, knife and rifle combat. above-average sniper. master-level chemist, specialty in poisons. proficiencies in disguise, stealth-based infiltration, and seduction. excellent linguistic skills. (recreationally, a talented dancer. can’t sing worth a damn.)Why Someone Might Love Them: Nine’s very, very likeable on a shallow level- she had to be on a professional level- and if she’s trying to charm you she’s probably going to succeed. on a deeper level she’s used to working with a team and does so easily with the ability to inspire loyalty, which she returns completely to those she considers friends. she’s the life of most parties, a trait her daughter inherits and Theron can’t quite match- he just tries to keep up with them, for the most part. Why Someone Might Hate Them: Nine has done a lot of very, very bad things to people who probably didn’t entirely deserve them, and while she recognizes that to be true and isn’t proud of it she isn’t sorry about it, either. she did what she had to in order to survive and to get the job done and if it came down to her or someone else- well, Intelligence was dog-eat-dog and she’s got bigger claws and sharper teeth than most. even in her Alliance days she had very few scruples about doing things other people might blink at (from blackmail right on up) if it meant that her people would survive. she calls it practicality, and if other people call her a monster that’s their problem, isn’t it?How They Change: Nine at age twenty-one is a trained hound on a long leash, hunting in the service of the Empire and let loose to burn off energy in whatever self-destructive way she chose as long as she got the job done at the end of the day. Hunter brought her up short and Valkorion almost choked her, collar too tight around her throat while she fought and fought and fought, and now Nine at thirty-five holds her own leash. as a result she’s mellowed considerably and she knows how to lead rather than simply obey. but she never wanted that, not really, and she’s far happier at home with her family than in palaces or meeting-rooms.Why You Love Them: she was going to be just another Agent, rolled up so I could play through the Theron romance on a fresh character- and then she grabbed me by the neck and demanded my attention and some two hundred thousand words later, here we are. I still don’t entirely know what it is about Nine that makes her so special to me- while she and I are alike in some ways, I certainly wouldn’t call her a self-insert- but I’ve yet to tire of writing her and she still manages to surprise me even now. 

[bluerosesburnblue]

Liz Liveblogs Bravely Second: Final Thoughts

Alright, as promised, let’s take a deep dive into my experience with Bravely Second. I’ve done the postgame, not really much to talk about. All it really is is unused dungeons that appeared in Default, but not Second, repurposed to hold missing enemies with a set encounter rate. Game’s been 100% completed besides some of the Ba’al bestiary entries, which I’m working on. (And by 100% I mean all Bestiary entries completed, all item/equipment journal entries completed, all character levels and job levels maxed out, all songs unlocked in Chompcraft, and all Titles collected.) So, now that there’s nothing left to do but hope for the best at Fort-Lune, I’ve taken some time to organize my thoughts and gone back through the liveblog to see if any of my opinions have changed

Speaking of the liveblog, I saved it in a word document when the Tumblr purge happened, just in case, and that thing ended up being 98 pages/53823 words long. So wow. That’s more than the entirety my college thesis paper. Kinda nuts how much I can write when I’m motivated. So now I’m gonna write EVEN MORE

Major spoilers for Bravely Default, Bravely Second, and also Undertale follow below

I suppose I should start this post by talking briefly about my history with the series, since I only liveblogged Bravely Second and don’t think I’ve said much about Default before

I beat Bravely Default about three years ago (shortly before November 8, 2015 if the email I sent to my best pal anheiressofasoldier, who I will not tag as she’s avoiding Bravely Second spoilers, is any indication). I binged the game while at college, because I wanted to be able to play Bravely Second when it came out (...whoops). Around the time I really started getting into the game, indie darling Undertale came out, and I spent a lot of my time bouncing between playing Bravely Default and having Undertale playthroughs going in the background while doing schoolwork/grinding in BD. I learned one thing about my tastes during that time: I really love meta plots in games and the way that they both utilize the system’s capabilities to mess with the player and integrate the player into the story, expanding the lore and fostering the sense that you, behind the screen, really are a part of this story and a member of the world of the game, just like all of the other characters. It is a fascinating story mechanism, and it’s a surefire way to get me invested in the narrative

Makes it kind of funny that the Undertale spiritual sequel/AU, Deltarune, came out just as I was finishing Bravely Second. I guess the two series will always be tied together for me

For those unaware and who also don’t care about spoilers, Bravely Default and Undertale are both RPGs with similar twists at the end. Namely that you, the Player, are a full-blown character and active participant in the world of the story. And also that saving the game is an in-universe thing. Bravely Default reveals during its final boss battle that another realm exists, the Celestial Realm, and when it’s depicted the game uses the 3DS camera to show the player’s face, creating the narrative that the villain, Ouroboros, is attempting to break out of the “game” into the “real world,” and the entire plot of the game has been revolving around this fact. It is also revealed that “The Celestial” has been keeping Tiz alive and guiding him, and when he severs the bond between himself and the Celestial, he collapses and the game ends. You, the player, lose control of the character because he breaks your bond, which means you can’t play anymore

The first hint that there may be more to Undertale’s story of a human falling into the Underground land of monsters is during the final boss of a Neutral run (necessary to get the Pacifist ending and the first ending most people see), where the main villain, Flowey, abruptly crashes the game. Booting it up again causes the intro to glitch out and the save file to show what appears to be Flowey’s own save file. When accessed, the player is loaded into a black void with nothing but a save point. Accessing that causes Flowey to delete your save file (not unlike what Providence tries in Bravely Second), which begins the final fight against him. During the fight, he makes use of Save States to reload you back into the way of his attacks. This messing around with the player’s save data is only the first part of the game’s meta twist. Another reveal happens at the end of its Genocide route, where the player actively guides their character into eradicating every last monster in the Underground. You have to actively stay in each area of the game and kill everything you see until every enemy encounter becomes a blank screen with the message “But nobody came...” There’s no way to just accidentally end up on this route. Like, I cannot stress that enough. Very few people actually see the Genocide route, but its reveal is integral to understanding the overarching story

The final boss of the Genocide route is designed to actively screw with the UI (which is what I referenced when fighting Providence). His attacks change the shape of your action box, where you’re intended to dodge attacks in bullet hell segments, around. Some of his attacks are in the menu, hitting your icon in the text box and the buttons to select your action for each turn, constantly damaging you. There’s no downtime in this fight. You have to always be moving, because now he’s attacking your safe zones, just like Providence’s Bravely Second attack. There is no safe place from damage against these bosses. The trick to beating Undertale’s Genocide boss is to wait him out and dodge his attacks until he’s tired, and then use the time he’s asleep to move the action box into the menu to access your commands. Then, at the very end, you’re taken to a void and speak to a child you’ve never seen before, who informs you that you’ve both been controlling the main character of the game, Frisk. In a Neutral or Pacifist run of the game, this child is content to let you take control, and in fact may not even awaken as an entity possessing Frisk at all. In a Genocide run, however, they get so gung-ho about killing that they take control from you at various points. Noticeably, in the Genocide route, “Frisk” seems to act on their own a lot in cutscenes, something that they only do occasionally in other routes. The Mysterious Child informs you that they are the Fallen Child that the player named in the beginning, and that they also believe that they are some manifestation of... I don’t know how to phrase this. Game addiction? Completionist tendencies? They call themself “the feeling you get when your stats go up” or something along those lines. They ask you to destroy the world of Undertale with them and move on to the next game, where you’ll do the process over again together, killing all enemies and the “beating the game,” over and over until there’s nothing left. Accept their offer and the games ends there, the game’s world is erased. Refuse, and the Fallen Human informs you that you were never in control and attacks the player directly, causing damage numbers to be displayed across the screen and the game to crash instantly after. Booting it up again in either situation leaves you with nothing but a black screen with wind noises. 10 minutes after booting up that screen, the Fallen Human will offer to reset things so long as you sell them your soul. Accept, and every time you play a Pacifist route again the happy ending will play, before showing Frisk abruptly becoming possessed by the Fallen Human

I’d hazard a guess that what takes Undertale from being a goofy, lighthearted game with fun jokes and a lot of emotional moments into a ridiculously fascinating game to analyze is that reveal. The realization that the Player is a character takes that game’s story from good to great in a very short amount of time. Everything changes. And that’s exactly what happened to me with Bravely Default, which suddenly went from a cute throwback game to nostalgic RPGs (of which I have played none so there really isn’t any nostalgia there for me) that I genuinely enjoyed both the story and gameplay of to a brilliant game that I couldn’t get enough of. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that seeing that plot thread in Undertale is what made me appreciate its appearance in Default and hope that the lore there would be taken up a notch in Second. And honestly, I’d say it did. Gameplay-wise, it doesn’t go nearly as hard into it as Undertale does, but I don’t think it really has to. It’s not the same game, it just draws on similar themes, and I think it does that really well with the 3DS hardware. And to the Bravely Series’s credit, its integration of the Player into the narrative is done very well

So with all that said, what do I think of Bravely Second as a product? I had expectations, obviously. I expected to get more lore about the Celestial and the Celestial realm and was not disappointed. I went in spoiled on quite a few things, namely:

Anne is Airy’s sister, and is evil and works for a purple-ish pyramid named Providence

Ringabel is in it. Or at the very least, Alternis takes his helmet off. But it was probably Ringabel

The Kaiser’s real name is Denys Geneolgia

Obviously I knew who the asterisk holders were, since I had a list, so that spoiled Yōko as an antagonist to an extent, as well as a few tricky methods to beat bosses, namely Rev

A general overview of some sidequests, mostly Profiteur vs. Holly, Barras vs. Einheria, and Khamer vs. Alternis. You know, the controversial ones

Tiz/Agnès, Ringabel/Edea, and Yew/Magnolia are endgame ships

There is one time loop in the game. Not a world change, but a genuine time loop

I didn’t even pay much attention to pre-release info for Bravely Second, but try as I might, I can’t ever seem to completely avoid spoilers 😓. Oh well. The good news is that none of them really ruined the experience for me

Bravely Second is something that I haven’t seen in a long time: a good sequel. Good GOD have I seen games ruined by their sequels. Maybe I’m just bitter about the sequel hook in TWEWY Final Remix, which makes it seem like the writers have no idea what to do with a sequel, despite having a rich world to set it in. SO MANY sequels just rehash the first game, contradict its ending to get rid of everyone’s happy endings, or else try to explain things that didn’t need explanation (and explain them poorly at that). Bravely Second completely destroyed any of those worries for me. Everything feels like an expansion of the world and characters, done tastefully and with nothing but love for the first game that it’s expanding the lore of. I really felt the heart that went into making it while playing the game, and I have so much respect for the people who made it

Now, it does hit some similar plot beats, like the betrayer fairy who turns out to be working for an extradimensional being looking to mess with both the Celestial Realm and Luxendarc, but I love the twists it made to the formula. Bravely Default was a deconstruction of nostalgic JRPGs, where the helpful guide turns out to be working for the villain and tricked you into doing their dirty work, and instead of saving the world you were dooming it. Bravely Second then takes that plot and flips the perspective on it. They make the person being led by the fairy to open the Holy Pillar the villain, and he believes that he’s saving the world just as vehemently as the party did last game. Which almost makes him the perfect sympathetic villain, since he serves as a counterpoint to the main party who can understand exactly how he got into that position once the full extent of it has been revealed

At no point did I feel that Bravely Second’s added lore hampered the game, or ruined what I knew from the first game (I can easily ignore how silly it is that “oh all of the asterisk holders you killed last game were actually alive!” because I understand how much extra effort it would have been to design all new holders for old asterisks just to justify their inclusion in the game. It also might backfire for fans of the original characters who’d want to see their old favorites included.) Bravely Second’s lore expansions are only ever beneficial to its narrative. The expansion of the Celestial lore and the Plague, largely footnotes in Default, are turned into driving parts of the narrative in ways that only seem to make the world feel larger and older. Lived in. I can only hope that Bravely Third, or whatever it end up being called, keeps up the trend

And Bravely Default didn’t have the happiest of endings, with Ringabel getting a second shot to save his version of the party, but at the cost of abandoning the friends he’s made on this journey. Tiz is comatose, Til and Olivia are still dead, Edea is alone, and Agnès is left to reform her entire religion while fully believing that one of her friends is gone forever and the love of her life may never wake up. I am extremely grateful for being able to take that bittersweet ending and make it a happy one

On top of the amazing graphical upgrades, which stay true to the feel of BD while making everything feel grander, and the tweaks to the battle system to allow for minor enemy variation and the Another Round feature, which gives some incentive to carefully managing BP consumption, and some really fun new jobs, and I’d say I like Bravely Second even more than Bravely Default! (And browsing the internet, it seems like that’s an unpopular opinion. Dunno why, might be the fact that Second is goofier in its first half than the overall tone of Default and relies less on nostalgia for old RPGs). Bravely Second is where I feel the series went from a neat homage with some interesting gameplay innovations to a real adventure with its own unique world and story to tell

So what about the main characters, then? I’m gonna consider the main characters Yew, Magnolia, Edea, Tiz, Altair, Denys, and Anne, as they’re the ones who arguably drive most of the plot

Yew Geneolgia is the character that I was most worried about when I started playing this game. I was really expecting him to just be “Tiz but Younger” and I was happily surprised by what I got. If the liveblog didn’t make it clear, I LOVE YEW. He is such a genuinely sweet boy, who’s chipper and nerdy and so dedicated to his loved ones and I can’t help but relate to him. He’s like the perfect little brother I always wanted (I love my actual younger brothers but they ain’t perfect). His growth is incredible. He goes from a scared kid singing off-key to himself in the woods to keep calm to staring down the god of the realm of people that act as gods to him and telling him to get lost, all without ever losing his kind and dorky nature. He learns the importance of taking your mistakes and growing with them. His sense of familial duty is so wonderful to see, and he serves as an excellent foil to last game’s lead character, Tiz. We went from a low-class farmer and dutiful older brother to a high-class noble and dutiful younger brother, and the flip in perspective with the lead characters only serves to highlight the flip in perspective on the story as a whole. Yew is a Good Boy™ and I couldn’t ask for a better lead character in the game, especially since he’s not even on the cover of any version of the game? Bravely Second is Yew’s story and it’s a damn good one

Magnolia Arch is... honestly kind of underwhelming? She was marketed as the big female lead of the game, she’s the star of the teaser at the end of the international version of Bravely Default, she’s on the cover of some versions of the game! And I... uh... I like her just fine, but I don’t feel like she really served much purpose. She’s got a nice design, I like how sweet she is and her sense of curiosity as a newcomer to Luxendarc, but I don’t feel like she had much... point? She really feels like she was just there to introduce the major plot point of the Ba’als and be a love interest for Yew. I just can’t think of anything she really contributed to the game besides that. I don’t hate her by any means, I just wish there was a bit more to her than minor worldbuilding, especially with all of the buildup she got

Edea Lee is the person I would call the actual female lead of the game, just a different part of the game than Yew is. She’s the protagonist of the sidequests (sans the Yōkai quest, where she gets slightly lesser billing than Yew, but is still a major focal character.) Also, like Yew, she had little marketing. I really respect what they did with Edea. She was one of the most developed characters last game, having her whole arc where she learned to see the shades of gray in morality. So where do you go from there? How do you keep the character interesting without contradicting or repeating their character development from the last game? And my god did they do it with Edea. I love how she legitimately seems to have grown up in Second. She’s learned to see the complexities of situations and acts as a mentor figure to Yew, while still retaining her spitfire qualities... in the main story at least. Her development is actually about taking what she learned in the last game and applying it to a leadership role (which is what the sidequests are supposed to do, but really fail at in execution. More below.) She gets a different arc that complements her arc from last game, where she takes what she learned and now has to figure out how to apply it to a new role. The focus is less on learning to be a decent leader and mediator. It’s a continuation of her character, and it works really well. Ultimately, I’m happy with what we got of Edea (in the main story not... not necessarily Sidequest Edea, who may as well be a different character impersonating the real Edea for how much they have in common)

Tiz Arrior has a similar dilemma to Edea, and a different solution. What do we do with a character who’s already had a full game to be developed? Edea got a new arc that extends off of her first one, taking it in a new and mature direction. With Tiz, however, they decided that he would remain flat in Second, since he got the development in Default and seems content with where he is, personality wise. Like Edea, he’s placed in a mentor role, which I do really enjoy, but Tiz’s real strength in this game is how they used him for worldbuilding. He’s the perfect avenue to explore more of the lore surrounding Celestials, being the closest character to them thanks to his bond with one in the last game. So what does Bravely Second do? What it does best. It takes plot beats from the original and flips the perspective to give the player a new and better understanding of its world and characters. In this case, they take Tiz’s Celestial bond from the first game and give him a new Celestial to bond with, who is more than happy to exposit on his world and the world of Luxendarc. Like Magnolia, I feel like Tiz is much more of a worldbuilding device than a character in Bravely Second, though unlike Magnolia I can excuse this since Tiz already had a whole game that he was the main character of to be developed. We already like Tiz, so he has nothing to prove to us, and it feels good to see him get his delayed happy ending. Weird, though, how the two characters shown on box art for this game have the least impact as characters, though I suppose you could argue that they’re both tied to the main plot though other means. Other means such as...

Altair. Oh, Altair. You weird vegetable-loving alien man. He really grew on me, actually. I find it really interesting that despite constantly stating that the player is a Celestial and implying that the real world is the Celestial Realm, Altair comes in and almost seems to contradict that. Through him, we learn more about the Celestial Realm and, by extension, who and what kind of entity the Player is in this story. Is he aware of who we are? Who knows! He’s a good avenue of lore that I’m fond of. And if Yew is the emotional heart of the main story, then Altair is the emotional heart of the climax. His bond with Vega is what drives a lot of the overarching plot, and it’s a sweet romance. I dunno, I like Altair. I wish he was a little more meta-involved, and gave a little more info about the Celestial Realm, but he did good for what he needed to be. Team Dad’s good

Denys Geneolgia is tied for my favorite character with Yew and I’d talk about him but I already did and nothing’s really changed about my opinions since then, though the rewritten talk with Anne might need to be changed since she apparently doesn’t even know the player exists on the second loop, somehow. Oh well. I wouldn’t be upset if he was a party member in Bravely Third though *wink* *wink*

Anne is cool. Anne is a good foil to Airy, and my rage at realizing that she’s been playing the player since the beginning of Bravely Default is definitely a highlight. She’s a good foil to her sister from the last game. I mean she’s basically Airy taken up to 11 and without the pretense of being a good guy in this game. No, she got that out of her system last game and is in full blown Manipulative Bitch mode this game. She’s a fun villain to have on screen. Very punchable. I’m not sure if there’s much more to say about her, though. I would have loved to see her interact with the player more than the one scene where she taunts us. Just really rub it in that even though we’re a god in Luxendarc, she still managed to deceive us. Maybe expand on her relationship with Airy a little more, focus a bit more on her status as a foil to Denys. She’s a good antagonist, I just would’ve done more with her

We’ve covered the good, so what’s the bad? The sidequests. I’ve gone on a lot about the sidequests but I cannot stress enough how much I disliked all but the Chapter 6 sidequests. They are so formulaic, and that formula actually hampers the story they’re trying to tell with them. The sidequests are Edea’s spot to shine, and I can so clearly see what they were trying to do with them. They’re training Edea for her role as the Grand Marshal of Eternia, where she will end up facing two forces that oppose each other and have to make a decision about her nation’s involvement, which becomes evident during the Templar quest, which all of these seem to be leading up to. The problem, though, is that they’re trying to set up Edea as a mediator and then outright contradict that by having her just choose a side with no thought of compromise, desperately try to validate her choice as the only correct one, frequently claim that the other side’s argument has no merit, and then beats them down to make them agree with her. I mean, what!? That’s not mediating! That’s not my Edea!

By forcing us to make a binary choice, they completely gloss over any moral ambiguity in the situation, and the epilogues always focus more on how Edea feels about her choice, and not the impact that the choice has on the world as a whole. I can somewhat understand why they wanted to implement a choice system into the sidequests to make use of the second loop, but good gracious does it NOT WORK. And it doesn’t help that at least half of, if not 2/3 of, the sidequests try to make a situation morally ambiguous that really shouldn’t be? Or that has a clear correct answer? And all the rest are just really petty disagreements and none of them expand upon the world or characters in any meaningful way. Edea’s sidequest story of becoming a great mediator to make her father proud and grow into the role of Grand Marshal could have gone somewhere if that was a consistent thread between them and not a concept that solely exists in the Templar quest that tries to make the rest look good with hindsight. They really were the worst part of the game. The narratives weren’t enjoyable and the gameplay was just repetitive. Meet two bosses from the last game, listen to grievances, go through old dungeon from last game, pick a boss to fight, meaningless resolution. Rinse. Repeat. But in all honesty, the poorly written sidequests are my only big criticism of the game, and they’re entirely skippable to the average player. (I don’t recommend that you skip them because they offer useful jobs, but you certainly could if you wanted to)

Overall, I’d give Bravely Second a solid A. It is, unquestionably, one of the best games I’ve played in a while. Which is almost word-for-word what my final verdict for Bravely Default was in the email mentioned at the beginning of this post. This series consistently manages to suck me in and keep me invested in its world and characters. I adore it. I love the Bravely series so much and I’d happily buy whatever they come out with next so long as they never try that sidequest stuff ever again. Ever. (Though playing the game is probably gonna mean buying a Switch. Mmmm.)

Moving forward, what are my hopes for the hinted at Bravely Third? Ringabel’s certainly been teased a bit, so I’d hope to see him make a return. Especially as a playable character. I’d love to see his role with the Planeswardens expanded on and what their impact on the lore is. I could easily see Magnolia returning as a playable character, too, just for that little bit of extra development that she desperately needs and her implied relationship with the Planeswardens. I’d really love it if they brought Denys back and made him a playable character, finally giving him an actual, well-crafted character arc. Not to mention that his ties to both the Sword of the Brave and the Eye of Foundar make him an excellent candidate for the plot that the end of Bravely Second teased (also gives me more Geneolgia brothers content).

Story-wise, Bravely Default was centered around parallel worlds (or space), and Bravely Second explored the concept of time, so perhaps we could see alternate Realms/dimensions in Bravely Third. It would be interesting to see them expand upon the lore of the Celestial Realm, especially now that there are characters aware of the Player’s existence, such as Denys and Magnolia. Having Deneb around could also be an interesting choice, as she’d certainly know what the cataclysm in the Celestial Realm was and the capabilities of the Celestial Beings, since she is one. I’ve seen the idea of Deneb as a party member thrown around, and I wouldn’t be against it. Maybe if the whole party was made up of people aware of the Player’s existence, we could have more Player-party interactions. Dialogue choices in cutscenes for us, maybe, where we can talk directly to the party

I wouldn’t be against a Ringabel-Magnolia-Denys-Deneb party. I think that could work really well. Just a team composed of blond boys and silver-haired girls

I love Yew Geneolgia to death, but I think I’d keep him as a side character. He’s already had his story, though a look into what he did after Bravely Second would be much appreciated. Show me my son who reformed the Crystalguard and became the most well-loved member of House Geneolgia in history! At least give me a good sibling reunion! Give me the hug between Denys and Yew that I was robbed of in Bravely Second!

Don’t undo any of the happy endings everyone got. Tiz and Agnès are happily married and retired, and Ringabel and Magnolia make it back home safe to their significant others post-Bravely Third

I guess I’d also kinda like to see a good Cryst-Fairy around at some point. I like the idea I’ve seen around of the Player having their own fairy servant. That could be fun to play with. Maybe with those Party-Player chats I mentioned our dialogue choices could be telling our fairy what to tell the party. Speaking through our own, personal Cryst-Fairy, if you will. Though again, if we’re still expanding the lore, maybe they could go into the state of being of Cryst-Fairies more. Anne gave us a bit to work with, so I suppose I just want more elaboration on how they’re all siblings, how they feel about being siblings, etc. Maybe there’s a good fairy and a bad fairy in the same game and they bicker like real siblings

Also, can they give us confirmation as to whether Yōko was a Luxendarc native or not? And if not, can we see her home realm? That’d be cool. I’d like to see the Yōkai world please

I guess that’s really it, though. For now, that’s all I have to say on the Bravely series! Again, I’d like to give a huge thanks to everyone who’s read through the liveblog and/or commented on any of the parts of it. Seriously, you guys rock and I don’t know if the liveblog would’ve gotten as big as it did if it wasn’t for you guys and the support you provided. If any of you guys want to chat, don’t be afraid to hit me up. My ask box is always open

So! I’ve been Liz, this has been Liz Liveblogs Bravely Second, and I hope to see you all again if/when Bravely Third drops so we can all get lost in the world of Luxendarc together one more time!

[missytearex]

To Read List - Larry

So much Larry, so little time...

Part 4

got me losing every breath (i'm latching onto you) by kissingiscool 

It's a blur to him, chasing Louis down from point A to point B, through a maze of pathways and a chorus of short giggles, chromaticity of canary and fern as dirt sticks to the soles of his running feet, and he feels alive, more alive than he's ever felt in all of the twenty-five years of his life. More alive from the time he first when skiing. More alive than from when he had his first kiss. Just looking at Louis gave him a new definition of alive. He doesn't know how long he's been chasing, but the pounding of his heart and huff and puff of each breath that's punched out of his lungs is so addicting that he doesn't ever want to stop chasing him.

(or an au where louis is a fairy with a fear of thunderstorms and a talent of knitting and harry is a vet with three cats and a lot of love.)

I Would Follow You (To the Moon and Back) by Dick

Everyone has baggage, some people sleepwalk, some have obsessive exes, and others turn into anthropomorphic wolf-like monsters that destroy furniture and run rampant in the forest. Perfectly normal.

Or the one where Harry and Louis have been dating for six months, Harry is a werewolf, and it's a full moon. This time they're going to get it right.

i'll take your pain by suspendrs

It’s kind of romantic when Harry thinks about it, feeling all the pain of the person he’s supposed to love for the rest of his life. Sure, it’s rather inconvenient when he’s in class and his soulmate gets kicked in the balls, or when he’s sleeping and his soulmate knocks his head or his knee off something. It’d be nice if the function helped them to find each other, but Harry supposes he can live with knowing that they’re destined to run into each other someday.

Or, soulmates have the ability to feel each other's pain, and Harry finds his after getting his arse waxed. (Or, the soulmate au crack fic I can't believe I actually wrote.)

Sirène by iwillpaintasongforlou

Harry stumbles across a strange and beautiful creature -merman Prince Louis of Sirène- as he walks along the beach one night. When a bit of magic Louis had never dared to believe in has him trading in fins and scales for real human legs, Harry takes it upon himself to show him exactly how this new human body works.

(Louis is a merman who turns into a human and Harry takes him home and takes him to bed.)

under me, you by hazzafrazza (colberry)

You Won’t Believe Who Was Spotted Leaving Harry Styles’ Primrose Hill Pad! If Harry was being completely honest, it probably wasn’t the best idea to be a world-renowned popstar and an infamous vigilante.

(Especially when all the comic books said never reveal your secret identity to keep your loved ones safe – which was all well and good, until Louis.)

Or: Harry wants a lot of things – fame, glory, Louis – but that last one is particularly hard to get when everyone thinks you’re dating your secret superhero alter-ego and suddenly you’ve become your own worst cockblock.

A Cauldron of Love by zimriya

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, yes,” Niall interrupts finally. “Harry’s been in love with Louis Tomlinson since that time in second year when he went and accidentally peed on him.”

Harry turns to face him, horrified. “Niall!” he squeaks out. “You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone about that!”

Niall just shrugs and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Aw, come off it, Hazza, was it really a secret?” When Harry doesn’t say anything, he pauses and looks up. “It was?” he says. “Ah, bollocks.”

A Hogwarts AU.

There's a Power in What You Do by LadyLondonderry

Harry moves to a new town under mysterious circumstances.

Louis leads a small pack of werewolves there.

It's all very convenient, really.

Babe, There's Something Lonesome About You by patdkitten

Louis is a hedge witch, who lives a lonely, solitary life. He's quite happy with his shop in Door County, selling New Age magics to the tourists. He also has his cats and his birds to keep him company. But his best friend Liam thinks he needs someone around, and he's got just the person: Liam's friend Harry is coming to the area for the tourist season and since Louis has all this space....

Can't Fool Me by emma1234

“I hate frats,” Louis repeats for what feels like the millionth time.

“Yes, I’ve heard, once or twice or every day for the past three years,” Liam says. His careful tone reminds Louis of how his mom always sounds when one of his siblings is on the brink of a tantrum.

Louis glances speculatively at Liam’s frat brothers, who are still huddled together and chatting, with the exception of the one who’s looking in Louis’ direction. Maybe Louis shouldn’t rule out a tantrum. While making a scene wouldn’t actually free him from fraternity nonsense in the future, it would at least be entertaining.

AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.

Stories We Don't Want to Tell by tracinginthesand

Louis is the best friend ever. Bar none. He’s convinced. He allows himself to be dragged along to boy band concerts. “As if you haven’t danced around my room to their music multiple times, Louis,” Eleanor says, like that settles anything.

I wasn't looking when I stumbled onto you by Cherrie

In retrospect Louis could see how the pap got the idea. He admitted he saw Harry quite a lot, but he swears they never arranged it. He was only a med student and Harry was a movie star it was ridiculous to think they were dating. Right?

Dust to Dust by dinosaursmate

“There’s no way it’s true.” Harry shrugged, letting out a small laugh. “Louis can’t be… dead.” Dead. The force of the word hit Harry like a ton of bricks. There were actually rumours that his Louis was dead. His heart rate picked up. It wasn’t true. No way. --- Harry, an active participant in the One Direction Tumblr fandom, comes across a rumour that Louis died and has been replaced with a lookalike.

Back From The Edge by sincewewereeighteen

“Guess my eyes are very blue.” “They are.” Harry agrees easily. “You’ve got beautiful eyes.” “You’re drunker than you think.” Louis snorts. “Why’s that?” “We’ve just met and you said I have beautiful eyes. Only people who are in love say that.” He points. “Maybe I am in love with you.” Harry points back, feeling very smart. Yep. Maybe he is drunker than he thought.

Or: the one in which Harry is a closeted actor who needs to do a PR stunt during his break, only he wasn't counting on falling for his beard's best friend. It gets messy.

Take Care Down By The Water by shyserious

Louis has spent his summers at his Granny's in the Isle of Barra for almost as long as he could remember.

This summer wasn't supposed to be any different, but the little Scottish island turned out to be harbouring more than just the gorgeous white beaches, the clear waters, and the town drunk scaremongering the foreign tourists.

Victorian Boy by DonnaHaywardsHead

Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.

Collision by itjustkindahappened

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

(Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

Heart on an Open Highway by afirethatcannotdie

AU. Harry's a popstar about to release his second album, and Louis is the Radio 1 intern who gets his heart racing.

Tell Me A Story by yourpricelessadvice

Louis takes the train home to Doncaster from Manchester. Enter: Harry Styles.

Packed Lunches, Sticky Fingers and Accidental Levitation by LadyLondonderry

Harry Styles is a skilled work-from-home potionist five years out of university with a steady job, a house, and... eight kids.

He also might be heading towards a breakdown if he doesn't get a bit of help.

Enter a meddling pixie and an old university friend he might or might not have had a lot of feelings for.

(Make You Want To) Scream by lululawrence

While Louis' left hand plays with his nipple, his right reaches down and wraps around his dick and that's when he really knows something is wrong.

The dick in his hand does not feel like his own.

Linger by yourpricelessadvice

Louis has a truckload of painful memories and a custody arrangement where a family could’ve been. The last thing he’s looking for is a new relationship.

Harry has accepted that he’s not made for relationships and isn’t interested in getting burnt again.

It’s a good job they’ve both got meddling friends.

It's a Better Place (Since You Came Along) by phdmama

When Harry Styles, a mid-level talent, Finder, and small business owner, sets off on the vacation of a lifetime with his best friend, Niall Horan, he has no idea the changes his life will undergo over the next nine days. He's got it all planned - there's going to be shore excursions, lounging by the pool on the deck of the luxurious cruise ship, not to mention margaritas. What he does not plan for are the new friends, new bonds, or the mystery from his past that comes back to haunt him, and he certainly hasn't planned for Louis.

Try Refusing A Million Times (But You're in Love) by habitbynight

Harry’s a witch selling tea and sweets in The Umbrella, a shop he and his best mate Niall have just opened. But on ‘Official Opening Day’ he runs into Louis, and there the chaos ensues when Harry’s magic trickles into Louis. With Niall and Zayn at his side, it’s a regular quest for love: either Harry gets his magic back from the forbidden Louis whose dating Liam, or he preforms a dark ritual on himself to save himself from Louis’ madness that he most certainly will not survive.

The Shirt You Hate by isthatyoularry

“Soph,” Louis says to his female executive assistant. “I’m making more money than ever, and I have just realised that I have no one to spend it on.”

At thirty years old, Louis is past halfway to becoming a billionaire, and he needs to find the one. He literally stumbles upon his university sweetheart.

Waiting On You by emma1234

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

I'm Not Gonna Beg by mezziedemo

When Harry had given him an ultimatum at sixteen – come out and be with me publically or leave now, Louis’ scared eighteen year old self had walked out. He had meant to go back the next day - but fate had other plans and when tragedy struck, Harry was left to think Louis hadn’t loved him enough and had left him. Now Four years later, Harry has just won X-Factor along with his One Direction band mates, Niall and Zayn. He’s never forgotten Louis, although he’d certainly tried. A chance meeting will change everything and turn both their lives upside down when Harry finds out what happened to Louis. But is it too late for a second chance? NOTE: LOUIS DID NOT DIE! Please give this a read!

For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry by allwaswell16

After a public and humiliating breakup, Louis Tomlinson finds himself on his would-be honeymoon with his best friend, Niall. However, this St. Lucian paradise is not all that it seems. Louis may be particularly vulnerable to an unusually handsome predator.

Prompt: Bloodsucker

Let Me Kiss You by allwaswell16

Harry Styles is on top of the world. He's moving to Chicago to live in a kick ass apartment that he's sharing with his old college friend, Niall. When their old college crew makes plans to hang out, Harry realizes he will be coming face to face with his unrequited crush, Louis. -

H: Tommo’s?

N: Yeah. Tommo. Louis. Tomlinson. Are we seriously doing this? You really gonna pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about? Dude I’ve seen you sign ‘Harry Tomlinson’ all over a piece of paper.

H: That was a long time ago!

N: So you do know who I’m talking about then

H: Yes. Just it was a long time ago.

N: It was 3 years ago not 30 years ago. Anyway I’ll text you the address. Liam and Zayn will meet you there in an hour and I’ll be there as soon as I can.

H: I can’t just show up!

N: Why not? He knows you’re coming. See you there. Later.

You Really Got Me Now by allwaswell16

Louis is the best older brother anyone could ask for. He knows this because he's agreed to help chaperone his younger sister's school trip to Rome. As it turns out, Italy is full of surprises. Fizzy's Italian teacher is surprisingly hot, Rome is surprisingly interesting, and Louis is surprisingly falling in love with more than just the city.

Prompt #77: The impatience at having to listen to someone blather on and on.

got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist. he didn't have much regard for what he left behind - a life, a family, and a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want: he's rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he's forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past - and louis, who's spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

(or, an au based on the movie sweet home alabama.)

You and I and Plastic Flowers by LadyLondonderry

The mug cracks. It makes a horrible ceramic clacking noise. Whatever is inside is thrown into a frenzy, and Louis finds he can barely keep it still. This was not well thought out. He should have just let the bloody thing have control of the house. That would have been a better option.

He's still trying to formulate a plan of how to get the thing outside when the whole container gives a mighty jerk to the right, throwing him completely off guard, and tumbles onto the tile of the kitchen floor below.

Sweet Dreams by sweetlouist91

"But that wasn't made Harry's heart stop. No, because there on his arm was at tattoo. A tattoo in the exact same spot as Harry's anchor"

Famous Harry finds out about makeup YouTuber Louis by chance in an interview. It's fate after all.

my only working remedy by YesIsAWorld

Harry is a famous actor, and the media portrays him as a lothario who sleeps with every woman he meets. His Team steps it up a notch when Harry is in between movies and they do a promo by launching the contest “Win a Date with Harry Styles!” Everything goes wrong for Harry's Team when the winner is a guy, Louis Tomlinson. But for Harry, everything goes right.

Tall Tales For Summer by turnyourankle

Harry knows something is up when his mum insists on throwing him a birthday party in the summer. He's even more suspicious of her intentions when he notices the guest list is all male.

(Or, modern nobility AU where Harry's mother is trying to set him up without his knowledge.)

How Fast the Night Changes by youbeyou

“I’m sorry, Dominic. I’m-“ Harry tugs on his trousers again, finally getting them to slip over his arse. “I’m pretty sure my boyfriend would be opposed to me going on a date with someone else.”

Harry thinks he delivers the lie pretty convincingly but he doesn’t stop to check, reaching for the next shirt on his rack. Isn’t there supposed to be someone helping him with this?

Dominic stiffens at Harry’s words. “You have a boyfriend? Who is it?”

“That would be me,” an absolutely gorgeous man that Harry’s never seen in his life answers...

Prom Promise by youbeyou

“I’m gonna go to that prom,” Harry tells him, pointing a finger in his ex’s face. “I’m gonna get a date who’s hot and nice and likes me for who I am and I am gonna have the time of my life. And you, Jeremy, are gonna wish you’d never let me get away.” Or

It's two weeks to prom and Harry needs a date.

bulan dipagari bintang by snsk

right now this is his pack, the vampire harry's burning his scent into, murmuring nonsensities about the stars and their stories.

// or: harry is sixteen when he comes into his werewolf form. louis is terribly, wonderfully ageless, and still, always a vampire.

When It's Late At Night by Rearviewdreamer

Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that's exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.

Or

The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.

Let's Fall in Love in a Place You Want to Stay by embro

A George of the Jungle / Tarzan AU where Louis is a model who meets Wild Man Harry in the Congo. He was raised by apes and barely speaks a word of English and turns Louis' life upside down.

Like a Saturated Sunrise by onlyhuman

Louis doesn't necessarily enjoy gardening. Which makes it all the more annoying that someone has been cutting off flowers as they see fit.

Or, alternatively: the one where Louis has a love/hate relationship with his garden and Harry is the most innocent criminal to ever exist.

Right Smart Spell by distortedrain

Seven long and painful years of a muggleborn thinking his love for a pure-blood is entirely unrequited (spoiler: it's not).

For the prompt: Harry is a muggleborn who’s very, very nervous about school at Hogwarts but Louis, a pureblood who is also a first year, takes Harry under his wing and teaches the ins and outs of Hogwarts.

They become super close and Harry comes out of his shell because of the beautiful, bright-eyed boy who likes to get them in trouble (Filch hates them) and Harry develops an unrequited (maybe not so unrequited) crush on his best mate over the years. Harry wanted to ask Louis to the Yule Ball and doesn’t have the courage, and the amortentia they brew in 6th year smells like Louis and home and his patronus and Louis’ match and Harry doesn’t know what it means but he knows it’s important. They don’t end up getting their shit together until year seven. Basically just an overview of their seven years in Hogwarts and beyond.

Close Your Eyes, Clear Your Heart, Cut The Cord by eli_ssabeth

Harry looks bewildered for a second before extending his hand warily. “I’m Harry. Styles." Louis looks at his hand then back at his face before reluctantly shaking it. “Is that your real name?” he asks dubiously. Harry barks out a short laugh. “Yep,” he says, popping the p. “But I get that a lot.” “Oh, I’m sure you do." “You still haven’t told me yours,” Harry reminds Louis, who is definitely paying attention to what Harry is saying and totally not getting lost in his eyes. “Look at that, I haven’t,” Louis agrees, finally letting go of Harry’s hand before offering a strained smile and marching past him. He can feel Harry’s stare on him the entire way to the door.

OR Louis is a paediatric surgeon who hates publicity visits and Harry is a singer who visits publicly. A lot. They fall in love anyway.

My Love is a Fortress (My Love is a Louvre) by zimriya

Harry likes to think he’s juggling the whole part-time uni student, part-time superhero thing rather well, strictly speaking, because despite the fact that he has absolutely no social life outside of uni lectures and clandestine, midnight crime fighting, at least no one’s gone and died on his watch. Yet.

A Superhero AU.

Play Me Like One of Your French Girls by zimriya

Louis is Hollywood’s ‘Bad Boy and Sometimes Darling’, and Harry is the clumsy, endearingly attractive part-time cellist whose cello gets upgraded to the seat next to his on the plane. They fall in love.

Also featuring R&B Superstar Zayn Malik, Olympic Gold Medalist Liam Payne, and Masterchef Niall Horan.

we're still going, eight in the morning by nooelgallagher, yoursongonmyheart

Harry washes his hands quickly before grabbing his phone. His screen lights up to 3 notifications.

DJTommo is now following you!

@DJTommo mentioned you in a tweet!

Direct Message from @DJTommo!

Harry yelps, throwing his phone to Niall who just barely catches it.

Niall looks down at the phone, seeing first the tweet, then the DM. He tosses the phone back to Harry, who nearly drops it. “What are ya doing, mate! Answer him!”

Harry thinks for a moment about what he wants to say. This is his chance to actually talk to Louis Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson messaged him directly. He can say anything he wants. He begins typing, his fingers shaky.

Niall comes over to stand next to Harry and peers down, looking to see what he wrote. When he does, he lets out a groan.

...Or, the one where Harry owns a bakery, Louis is a radio DJ, and Niall and Liam roll their eyes at their incessant flirting.

baby, you're my only reason by zouisclimax

Harry's famous and Louis' a big fan.

or, "you're a celebrity and you just broke up and i tweeted you a selfie and said "date me" and you thought i was serious?" au

find me cause i'll never find you by highhopes

Harry makes his way through the people, stopping for pictures and hugs and Louis feels his heart beating rapidly in his chest because this is it. This is finally it.

(or, harry is a famous indie singer and all louis wants is a picture)

shine by togetherwecouldbealright

Louis has never seen someone who is as beautiful as Harry is, the faint light overhead casting a warm glow over him. He’s wearing an apron that matches the color of his lips and it’s slightly askew, tied loosely around his waist. His hair is pulled into a messy bun, a single strand falling into his eyes that are filled with a tangible wildness. There’s also a streak of flour across one of his cheekbones that he’s failed to notice.

He’s messy. He’s incredibly messy. But he’s also so, so beautiful that he takes Louis’ breath away. Louis doesn’t think he’s ever felt this way about someone.

Louis is an actor who needs to get away from the real world. He does the only thing that he can and runs away, finding himself in a small town where he happens upon Harry. What Louis doesn't expect is to somehow fall in love and end up having to face what he was running from all along.

Just a Fine and Fancy Ramble by throughthedark

Louis continues to watch as the fit boy waggles his eyebrows dramatically at the penguin. Clearly, he's very invested in winning the staring contest, which means Louis still has time to come up with a plan of attack. He turns to his sisters. “Girls, look cute. You know how to snag a boy right?” College Au where Harry leads an army of penguins and rocks purple penis headscarves, Louis is generally covered in pigeon shit and panicking over worm dissections, Liam just wants to save his pet bird from Harry's ill thought out sacrificial plans, and Niall and Zayn are definitely not dating.

like an animal (i wanna feel you from the inside) by bottomlinsons (grimgrace)

Louis leans a little closer. It’s not difficult – not with the way he’s already pressed so close, straddling Harry’s hard hips with Harry’s equally hard dick nestled tightly between his cheeks.

The paramedic clears his throat and looks away.

(Harry and Louis get a little stuck. Literally.)

Before You Came Into My Life (I missed you so bad) by downhill_tumble

Louis has made a lot of bad decisions after smoking up with Zayn at one in the morning. Oddly enough, texting a random phone number he found tucked into a library book turns out not to be one of them.

Or an AU where Louis is a closeted A-list actor and Harry is just your average Uni student who only signs things with smiley faces.

That Sounds Fake But Okay by dancingontheceiling

Harry Styles is a rookie journalist forced to work the gossip desk at a major New York magazine. Louis Tomlinson is the A-list actor who doesn't appreciate Harry or his articles.

101 Uses For Dragon Eggs by colazitron

Louis just got back from a three week assignment yesterday and today was only supposed to be paperwork he needs to do to finish that up, before he was going to leave early and enjoy the weekend. And then Zayn, the traitor, emailed him about a bloke who was rumoured to have found a dragon egg and apparently live tweeting the whole thing.

Now. There are a lot of kids on twitter who tweet about dragon eggs they’ve found. A lot. But ninety-nine point nine percent of those tweets are about eggs that are not dragon eggs, whether the kids tweeting know that or not.

The only reason that Louis allows for that point-one percent chance that someone could be tweeting about an actual dragon egg is that, well, someone could. Weird things happen all the time.

Zero to Sixty in Three Point Five by RealityBetterThanFiction

Harry bumbles himself out of a bind...and into a boyfriend. It's Niall's fault, of course. As it always is.

rapture in the dark by stylinsonsupporter

Harry Styles is a breakout musician who has shed his boyband label in favor of embracing his inner brooding rockstar. His PR team think that his rebrand is the perfect time for Harry to come out of the closet and have devised the perfect plan for doing so. Enter Louis Tomlinson, up and coming (and very openly homosexual) model whose public image as America's Sweetheart is the perfect foil for Harry's new edge. From a PR standpoint, it's a dream come true - a power couple that can slowly coax the public into accepting Harry's altered image. The only problem? They hate each other.

Or, Harry does the Winter Girlfriend routine with Louis instead.

Let's Go Get Away by letsjustsee

When Louis had moved to the island a year ago, he only wanted two things: to serve good food to good people, and to live on the beach. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently the universe thought so, because Louis had only gotten three months of blissful, uninterrupted beach living before Harry Styles moved in to the empty shop next door. Louis was hoping whoever took over the space might be a tour guide, or even another restaurant (with non-competing menu options, of course), but no – he had gotten Harry Styles. The guy who wore Hawaiian dad-shirts unironically. The guy who spent his time making soap by hand out of goat’s milk.

Or, a fluffy AU in which Louis owns a restaurant that's next door to Harry's shop, and Louis is completely unaware how smitten he really is.

The Way You Make me Feel, It's Real by larrymylove

It was supposed to be a simple road trip to the beach for a lad's holiday with Liam. Louis' car wasn't supposed to break down, and he wasn't supposed to be trapped at some creepy little bed and breakfast run by who Louis is convinced is going to 'Norman Bates' him, and he sure as hell wasn't supposed to fall in love with Harry Styles along the way. But sometimes, the universe has other plans.

The AU in which Louis and Liam are forced to stay at the B&B Harry runs, and Louis really cannot stand him (who runs a B&B at the age of twenty anyway?) until he finds himself really not wanting to have to say goodbye.

Were We Ever This Young? by letsjustsee

“How did it go?” he asked, still not having gotten any hints from Louis’ face. “Obviously it went amazing, Harold,” Louis said, reaching for Harry’s hand, “Was there any doubt I would smash it?” Immediately after finishing his sentence a young girl burst out of the classroom behind Louis, pushing through her peers, sobbing her eyes out. Harry and Louis both took her in, watching as she rushed through the crowd and disappeared behind the many bodies. Harry looked at Louis in confusion, about to voice his concerns before Louis cut him off. “Teenagers, am I right?” Louis said casually, “So bloody sensitive. You hungry? Let’s go.” And with that, he pulled Harry through the groups of students by his hand, Harry too shocked to utter a word.

Hogwarts AU in which Harry and Louis both return to give talks to seventh years about the 'real world' with slightly varying results. Inspired by the Chilton scene between Rory and Paris in the new Gilmore Girls.

Then We Talk Slow by letsjustsee

The picture showed Harry smiling widely (with a fucking dimple) at the camera, his glossy brown curls situated artfully around his shoulders. Louis couldn’t see his whole outfit, but it seemed to consist of a pink, floral button-up with most of the buttons undone. Louis could also detect the dark outlines of tattoos on his chest, although he couldn’t quite make out what they were underneath the shirt. What he could make out was that his own heartrate seemed to have picked up significantly. Shit. This was so not good. Not only had Louis drunkenly sent messages in a deliberate attempt to interact with this man, he was now insanely attracted to him without ever having met him in person. Maybe Liam was right – drunk tweeting really was a horrible, rotten idea.

A famous/non-famous AU in which Louis banters back and forth with his new record company on Twitter, only to find out that Harry is the man behind the tweets.

Empty Skies by green_feelings

For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.

Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

Featuring Perrie as Harry's adorable flatmate, Niall as his manager, and Liam and Zayn as Louis' bandmates.

Kiss the Boys by FallingLikeThis

“Being able to blatantly kiss pretty boys out in the open is my favorite part of Pride,” Harry says without preamble, leaning into Louis’ space, inviting pink lips quirking up as they get closer to him. “You up for it?”

“Um,” Louis glances at Zayn for help. He’d thought for sure after the way he’d just seen Zayn and Harry kissing, there had to be something more going on there. The last thing Louis expects to see on Zayn’s face is a knowing grin.

Harry leans closer and for a split-second, Louis wants to meet him halfway but then he thinks better of it. He doesn’t know the landscape here and in just a couple of weeks living with him, he’s already learned that Zayn is really bad about holding his feelings in. He doesn’t want to risk stepping on the toes of his closest friend here at Uni. So, at the last second, Louis raises his empty hand and covers Harry’s mouth before the boy can complete his mission.

“Sorry, Curly,” Louis says jokingly, “I just don’t know where that mouth has been.”

Dress you up in my love by LucyStarkid

Harry is single, and more than anything wants to find love. Agreeing to sign up to a dating website was a bad, bad idea. Niall's bad, bad idea. Louis is single, but has no interest in relationships. Or so he tells himself. 

Harry is a lawyer whose boss, Nick, happens to give him a bonus, which he decides to splurge on a new work wardrobe. Louis is a frustrated designer, working as a personal shopper at Selfridges. Louis happens to be working on the day a very beautiful, but out of his depth, new customer ambles into their department in need of advice. Louis might have just found the muse he never knew he was looking for.

Featuring: Sophia as Louis' colleague, with a somewhat unhealthy obsession with his love life, whilst being oblivious when it comes to her own. Liam as the ‘IT bloke from downstairs’ with the mother of all crushes on Sophia. Niall as Harry's sport's writer flatmate who spends most of his time making Harry's life as complicated as possible. Zayn as Louis’ flatmate and lifelong best friend, whose cat, Noodle/Princess/Princess Noodle loves Louis more than it loves him. And Nick as Harry's boss and one of Louis' regular customers: is Imelda Marcos reborn.

Paint Me In A Million Dreams by green_feelings

Harry's one of Hollywood's biggest actors, has made a name for himself in prestigious films and lives the life of a superstar. There's just one thing missing to make it picture-perfect, but the one Harry's in love with is completely out of reach for him. Enter Louis, one of Hollywood's biggest actors himself, who just came out of the closet and taps new genres in the industry. When Louis sacks the role Harry auditioned for in Scorsese's next big film, their irrational feud starts. Who could have guessed it would get even worse when for promo season, their teams decide to present them as a couple for publicity?

In short, Harry's in love with someone and doesn't care about dating anyone else, Louis never felt home in L.A., Liam writes love songs for someone he shouldn't write love songs to, and Niall makes everything better with good food.

Take A Bite Outta Me by LithiumCrystal

Louis truly resents the implication that he is basically Harry’s own version of Bella goddamn Swan, because seriously, no. Just no. But the issue is that even this stupid Meyeresque revelation has done absolutely nothing to dampen his attraction to this weirdly charming vampire man who dresses in 8000 pound coats and hangs around in dilapidated buildings with his merry band of ethical bloodsuckers.

Louis is a slightly inept vampire hunter. Harry is a slightly unique vampire. They meet.

Twelfth Night by QuickedWeen

Queen Anne holds a masquerade ball to try and find matches for both her children on Twelfth Night. While anonymity reigns, Prince Harry spends the ball getting to know a handsome stranger.

Carried Away Like Butterflies by dinosaursmate

“Actually…” Liam said, scratching his chin absently. “I have a friend who is moving to London soon.” “Without anywhere to live? Who is it? Do I want them living in my home?!” “You met him at my birthday party. Harry, from Cheshire. Remember? Really tight jeans, curly hair down to here?” Realisation dawned on Louis, staring at Liam who was gesturing round about his nipples. Did he remember Harry? Did he remember Harry? He remembered Harry’s square front teeth biting into his collarbone, and he remembered Harry moaning, loud and obscene with no provocation. He remembered Harry dropping to his knees at the edge of the bed and roughly pulling Louis closer. He remembered, vividly, Harry’s lovely plump lips wrapping around his- “Lou?” “Uh- what?” Louis said, startled. “Oh, yeah. Um, I think I remember him.” - It was probably a huge mistake for Louis to let his former One Night Stand move into his spare room, especially when said One Night Stand doesn't seem to remember him.

Drowning In Your Eyes by smittenwithlouis

"Capt’n Styles, are you certain of this? They be attracted to man-made light." "What is? Sharks?" The young blonde asks in terror. "Worse than sharks, lad. There'll be flesh eating mermaids upon us in minutes, mark my words!” Paul huffs as he continues to wave the bright lantern in front of him, “And Captain Styles here, has us bait!” Or: The Pirates of the Caribbean inspired au where Harry is a fierce pirate who holds the heart of a beautiful merman.

Black with Autumn Rain by whimsicule

“Thank you,” Geoff says, taking a sip of his tea. “What did you tell him?”

Louis has a sip as well, lets the tea burn down his throat too quickly, too hot, and he feels it all the way down to his stomach. “The truth. Essentially,” he replies after a moment, licking his lips, relishing the slightly bitter taste of the brew that’s never quite strong enough for Louis’ liking. At least it’s not decaf. “That my dog scented it. That I didn’t touch the body. That I came here first thing.”

Geoff nods pensively. “Did he believe you?”

“Probably not. There’s only so many people who can drown on dry land before it gets fishy.”

or: Harry is a journalist, Louis has lots of secrets and the moors aren't exactly the ideal place to rekindle a lost romance.

kiss me on the mouth (and set me free) by tempolarriefics

Harry, being his endlessly patient self, asks with a wry smile, “And who am I going to spontaneously marry for financial aid?”

He clearly intends for it to be a rhetorical question, for it to shoot down Louis’ ridiculous marriage idea. But Louis answers easily, “Me. You’ll marry me."

aka the not-so fake marriage AU in which Harry and Louis get married to keep Harry from dropping out of uni (and if they discover that they’re in love along the way, well, that’s neither here nor there).

Three French Hems by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews

In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

Wild And Unruly by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

amaryllis by hattalove

"Where are we?" "Um. A little while out of London?" Niall tries, seemingly the only one willing to not be mysterious and provide Harry with information, and. Oh. "London London? As in, the capital of England London?" he asks, just in case he'd misheard. "No, the other London," Louis laughs, low and biting. He comes closer finally, the moonlight just enough to reveal a sharp-cut jaw and pale skin. "Sorry, Pup." Nobody's ever called Harry a "pup". Frankly, he finds it quite insulting, but he lets it slide to try and comprehend his current crisis.

or the one where harry gets bitten by a werewolf. louis is the mysterious not-quite alpha, liam and zayn have Things going on, niall is their token human, and together, they watch a lot of TV.

Put Your Hands on Me in My Skintight Jeans by iwillpaintasongforlou

Harry is a popstar who --according to the media-- does a lot of cocaine and fucks a lot of boys. Louis is a waiter at a gay nightclub who finds it hard to believe that anyone who wears a straw hat to a bar can be the party animal Harry's made out to be.

(Famous!Harry meets non-famous!Louis in a club and things progress from there... in the direction of Louis' bedroom.)

What do you mean he's coming? by MediaWhore

When Harry accepted to be his sister’s Maid of Honour, despite how non-traditional of a choice he was, he didn’t think writing a speech for the wedding reception would be this hard. Now, not only does he have less than two weeks left to find something moving and inspirational to say, but Gemma just confided in him that her old childhood best friend is going to be in attendance. The one who moved to LA and they haven’t seen in fifteen years because he was too busy becoming an Academy Awards winner. But hey, no pressure. It’s just Louis Fucking Tomlinson.

Harry is screwed.

In My Dreams I'm Christmas With You by thoughtlessblogger

“I stole a baby,” Niall says calmly.

“Okay, first of all, Niall, that's not a baby. I'd say toddler,” Louis corrects before he truly processes what Niall's said.

When Niall frowns at him, it hits him, then, the severity of the situation.

Niall has stolen a child.

The Importance of Body Language by zimriya

Harry really has no idea how he’s going to get out of this one. After the little incident with the fishing wire, he’d been told that under no circumstances was he to visit the surface of the water, as he is the heir to the throne and his safety is essential to the continued existence of their underwater society. Or something. Harry loves his mum, but there’s really only so much talk of royal duty a prince can take before he does something drastic. Like purposefully disobey her strict instructions to stay under the sea for the rest of his natural life, and instead swim too close to a human ship and get himself spotted by none other than the unfairly attractive Prince Louis Tomlinson, for example.

Needless to say, Harry is fucked.

A Little Mermaid AU. Sort of.

Every Little Thing He Does Is Magic by perfectdagger (sincerelyste), star_k

There were only a few things Louis didn’t believe in. You could include in that list the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy, and also Father Christmas. Having four little sisters, though, he had to pretend that all of them were real for the sake of keeping their imagination alive.

Surprisingly, there was one thing, that not until his oldest little sister turned 11 did Louis believe in and did he think would actually be real: magic.

Louis’ sister was a witch and everything he knew would never be the same again.

Part 1 of the Mistletoes & Wrackspurts series, or the Hogwarts AU where Louis is a muggle, Lottie finds out she is a witch and Harry is Lottie’s wizard friend from Hogwarts, with a lot of magic, letters, owl cuddles and crushes on boys from different worlds.

anything you ask and more (orphan_account)

louis knows that he's in love the second harry begins speaking about the bolsheviks. (or, louis is a history teacher & harry is the fit curator that he desperately wants to mongol invade him, however many times niall tells him he's a psychopath.)

Search and Rescue Me by wildhalos

Louis never really paid attention to Harry until they get stuck in the locker room together. Inspired by this au meme.

Mine Now by aclosetlarryshipper

After Harry is expelled from private school, he joins a secret competition to get back at the boy who made it happen.

~or~

This is the story of how Harry finds himself pouting in Louis’ passenger seat with a raging boner on the way to seduce his ex boyfriend.

Come Along With Me by darkofthenights

"A little magic can take you a long way." — Roald Dahl or An AU where Harry is a magician and Louis doesn't believe in such a thing.

Orange Canvas by aclosetlarryshipper

Few can handle Louis Tomlinson on the dance floor, much less match him in skill and fervor. Louis has obviously met his soul mate; he just never expected him to be wearing a red snapback and to chew gum like an entitled Mercedes owner.

or

A spring break (kind of) fake relationship AU

True Love's Gold by alivingfire

Gemma starts responding to every single one of Harry’s texts—regardless of subject—with i don’t care, talk to louis. Liam lets Harry complain to him for hours on Skype, pretending he’s not doing other things while Harry whines about his problems. Niall thinks the whole thing is hilarious, texting Harry links to articles titled So, you want your man to propose? and 15 ways to get him ready for the aisle! and follows each of these up with page upon page of laughing emojis. Harry tries everything, literally everything he can think of short of grabbing Louis by tattooed forearm and yelling, “PROPOSE TO ME BEFORE I COMBUST.”

Or, it takes a village to arrange a proposal, but that doesn't mean it's going to go as planned.

taken by the wind by scrunchyharry

When he decided to move to London with his sister, Harry thought he would finally get to learn how to control his magic. He couldn't possibly have predicted that he would fall for her neighbour.

Or the one where Harry is a clumsy witch and Louis is making everything worse just by existing.

To Be Loved and To Be In Love by RealName

First Dates AU. Louis Tomlinson is a thirty-year-old divorcee whose friends have signed him up for the Channel 4 show First Dates. Harry Styles is a twenty-eight-year-old lawyer who has never been in a long-term relationship. They are filmed going on their first date.

a long way down (to the bottom of the river) by MediaWhore

“ Most people would call Harry silly for believing in curses. Childish would also be a probable insult thrown his way. In their little town full of little people, Harry’s whimsical nature and beliefs mean that he’s subjected to frequent judgemental looks and whispers. It doesn’t usually bother him. Most people don’t know about the magic thrumming through his veins or about how powerful words can truly be. Most people don’t carry around their ancestors grief like a burden. They don’t have to pay for deeds hundreds of years old like Harry and his family have. They get to love freely without fear.

Harry and his kin aren’t so lucky.”

a practical magic au in which Harry and his sister accidentally kill her abusive boyfriend with magic and Louis is the D.I working the case.

Just Hear This and Then I'll Go by allwaswell16

Former boy band member Louis Tomlinson can’t stand pompous indie artist Harry Styles, but with a new record label to launch he is going to have to endure his pretensions to snag up and coming new artist Liam Payne, who happens to be Harry’s oldest friend. Luckily, Liam seems to be very interested in 78 Records and maybe a little more than interested in Louis’ best friend. Too bad Harry won’t be making this easy on any of them.

Or a modern day Pride and Prejudice--Louis is Elizabeth, Harry is Mr. Darcy, Zayn is Jane, and Liam is Mr. Bingley. Oh, and Niall is Mrs. Bennett. Obviously.

You're the Light by allwaswell16

Before beginning a new graduate school in the fall, Louis Tomlinson decides to spend the summer working in Chicago as an editor’s assistant for the Chicago Tribune newspaper and staying with his old college roommate. What he finds on his first day of work is a tall, gorgeous editor named Harry who has the most beautiful green eyes he’s ever seen—and who also happens to be his new boss.

Young Gods by sincewewereeighteen

“Why don’t you stay?” Harry looked down at him and snorted. “What?” “You’re not my type, Louis”, the boy rolled his eyes sitting on the edge of the bed to put on his boots. “Says the man you just had sex with”, Louis pointed feeling smart, but Harry was one step ahead of him, with the answer on the tip of his tongue. “You see, if you were my type, I wouldn’t have”, Harry winked, cheeky as hell. “I would’ve gotten to know you first.” “Bullshit”, he accused the boy not letting it show how intrigued he was. “How can you know I’m not your type if you don’t know me?” “How about I list five things about you to prove I’m right and if any of them are false I’ll lie down again.” “Ok. Go.”

[Or: the one in which Louis is a model and Harry's supposed to be a normal guy... Until he isn't.]

Just Me, You, And This Box of Matches by tomlinsunshine

Louis is fairly sure that his new neighbour is going to destroy him. And also their apartment building, and the dumpsters outside, and all the forests within a thirty mile radius. But. Mostly him.

Welcome to Gilmore's Hollow by kassio

Don't call Louis an empty-nester. Yes, his only daughter is is about to start university, but he's only 35, for God's sake. He finally gets to look forward to life as a young-ish bachelor in... the sleepy small town of Gilmore's Hollow. Okay, maybe that's not terribly exciting, but he'll get by with a little help from his friends, and plenty of pastries from Harry Styles' bakery.

(A Gilmore Girls inspired Harry/Louis AU. This is what happens when you start watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix, then get sucked into 1D/Larry hell at roughly the same time. You don't need to know anything about Gilmore Girls to read and enjoy this fic.)

Sail Across Me by iwillpaintasongforlou

Harry is a prince that is about to be forced into marriage against his will and running away to sea seems like a much better option. Louis is the captain of the infamous pirate ship The Rogue and he has a thing for helping defenseless creatures. Especially when they're as pretty as this one.

if you'll be my star, i'll be your sky by g_uttertrash

Louis smiles in the smuggest, most infuriating way, like he knows every thought filtering through Harry’s mind. He probably does.

“I thought you were a student, yeah,” Louis says, voice quieter now, leaving Harry to lean over the baluster somewhat to hear. “But I hoped you weren't.”

(or, Harry Potter AU where Harry takes a teaching post at Hogwarts and gets a little more than he expected when he meets the fit Transfiguration professor, Louis, who looks oddly familiar... Featuring Messrs. Horan, Malik, and Payne as well, along with some familiar faces from the HPverse)

All the Right Moves by cherrystreet

This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.

i can be the motor (you'll be the gasoline) by kiwikero

Harry is a British pop star living in LA. While trying to escape his reality of publicity stunts and record sales, his Harley breaks down. Stranded in the mountains, Harry has no choice but to call for help.

And, somehow, a fit tow truck driver with the ocean in his eyes might end up fixing more than just Harry's bike.

These Constant Stars by stylinsoncity

Louis’ career has nowhere to go but up. He’s living at the height of New York City on the precipice of an epic promotion. Life is good and only getting better. And then one day, things turn disastrous.

This is a story about life, death, and punk rockers turned guardian angels.

In Vogue by otpwhatever

'Is that why David Beckham has been featured multiple times on the pages of your life's work? Does your criteria seriously consist of one thing – a man's ass?'

'Well the ass is a man's best asset,' Harry smirks, holding the Martini glass high up his face. 'And don't call the magazine my life's work. There are far more important things in life, Louis Tomlinson, than what's printed on the pages of a magazine.'

Fashion AU. Louis is the editor in chief of Vogue magazine, and Harry's running British GQ. Featuring Zayn as the crazy creative director and Louis' confidant, Liam as the sports writer that gets to sit front row at fashion week and DJ Neil as the only sane person in the whole story. (There are no skinny jeans in this fic)

In the Clear by aclosetlarryshipper

After Princess Gemma and her fiance Niall are captured by the witch from across the land, Harry and Louis are forced on a journey together to save them.

Featuring Lumberjack Liam, Magical Zayn, unsolicited tattoos, and untangling the past.

Also known as The Larrietale.

Your eyes will lead me straight back home by hopelesswriter

Their not-date was a total disaster. Ok not a total disaster, maybe not a disaster at all but Louis was so infuriating!

"Are you even for real?" "What? So you have the person you love get you a fucking ring, go to the city hall and make it official, but in essence, you belonged to each other since the moment you decided to commit?" Harry threw his hands in the air. "What about romance?! And why do you say ‘fuck’ so much?" "Romance is dead, young Harold. And maybe I just think a lot about fucking." Or the AU loosely based on the movie 27 dresses in which Harry is a photographer and he is totally Jane and Louis is definitely Kevin, except he is Jane too, he just needs the right person to get it out of him.

Heart Devoured by alittlewicked

When Louis came to, it was with a start, claws sunken into the mattress below him and the foreign but somehow familiar scent of vanilla and cinnamon deep in his lungs. With blood rushing heavy in his ears, he rutted down into the soft bed and whined breathily at the relief the movement brought him.

“Come on, Lou, look at me!”

Carefully he rolled over and slowly blinked his eyes open for the first time that day. And came face to face with Harry, Niall’s business partner and the most beautiful boy Louis knew.

*

Or the No Control / Werewolf AU with fairytale elements and some fortune cookies where Louis is a new werewolf suffering from awkwardly popping claws and ears at all times that wakes up to Harry (who he may or may not have a crush on) in his bed when all he can remember is taking a little frog home with him to help him over a break-up.

Throw Your Arrows by mcpofife

Louis agrees to come meet Zayn's coworker. He meets an annoying, overconfident (extremely fit) guy first.

Your Plans and Those Slow Hands by sweetums

"Louis, people are looking."

Just as he says that, Louis looks up to see a man at a small table, alone and perched on a stool, holding a cup of coffee. Instead of drinking his coffee, he's openly gawking at Louis.

"What are you looking at?"

Louis addresses him sharply. He'll be damned if he’s the one made to feel embarrassed. This is Liam's intervention. On second thought though, this man is quite attractive. Brunette curls, amazing jawline, big hands and even better arms by the looks of his biceps bursting out of that black t-shirt.

"I mean, hi."

-

AU based on that episode of Friends where Monica makes sex noises when she gets massaged. Harry and Louis meet at a coffee shop at the expense of Liam's embarrassment and Louis gets well and truly wooed by Harry's dating abilities.

electing strange perfections by deadsea

Harry and Louis meet through a mutual friend (Niall) and end up going Christmas shopping together.

On the Go by phdmama

From this post because I could not resist.

Found My Missing Piece by styleandsin

“@harrystyles followed you.”

“@harrystyles liked your tweet.”

“What?” He whispers in astonishment, because there’s no way. But he clicks on Harry’s profile and sure enough, the little grey “follows you” appears by his name. After taking a second to just stare at the screen, he quickly takes a screenshot and sends it to his sister. Lottie is one of the few people who would understand his shock. Niall would certainly just make fun of him for it.  

Louis and Harry are both fashion bloggers. Louis' been following Harry for years. Harry and his blog really gave him the confidence and the push to make his own. His sister and best friend have been making fun of his silly little crush on him ever since. But that's all it is, a silly, harmless crush because there is no way Harry knows who he is. Or does he?

Crash Landing by FullOnLarrie

Louis crashes weddings for the thrill of it. He gets dressed up, uses fake names, and makes up stories to go along with each new persona. Sometimes he'll find someone on the guest list to spend the evening drinking and dancing with (among other things). No strings attached and he never sees them again. That is, until he meets a fellow wedding crasher.

Only Reason by letsjustsee

“We are so lucky to have with us one of the leading experts on beekeeping in the modern age, Dr. Louis Draper.” No. No, no, no… “I know I speak for many of us when I say that this man’s books have guided our practice, or helped us get started,” Harry continued, and Louis watched as the crowd nodded their heads in agreement. Oh shit. No. What? No. But then Harry was gesturing towards him, saying “Dr. Draper?” into the microphone, the crowd was applauding, and Louis found himself walking up the stairs to the stage.

Or, Louis is most definitely smitten with Harry from the second he sees him, but he is also most definitely not the world's foremost expert on beekeeping. He decides to roll with it anyway.

Unbelievers by isthatyoularry

It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

Empty Skies

For three years, Harry has been running from his past. Now, he is moving to London and pledges to fulfil his only dream -- making it big in the music industry. Not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. As is his past catching up on him.

Louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there had meant a lot of hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. He's still happy. Maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

Featuring Perrie as Harry's adorable flatmate, Niall as his manager, and Liam and Zayn as Louis' bandmates.

Have Faith In Me by stylinsoncity

As the son of Anne Styles, millionaire owner of one of the world's most luxurious fashion labels, Harry has spent his last seventeen years living in carefree extravagance. And now he's grown tired of it, along with the pressure from his mum to follow in her footsteps and the constant care given to him by her past assistants.

When his mum's newest assistant, Louis, moves into the guesthouse, Harry determines to be treated differently. To be treated like an adult. Except Louis is not at all what Harry was expecting...

This is a story about growing up, growing in love and having the faith to make it last.

Nameless Night by green_feelings

For their 18th birthday, every person receives a letter that reads a simple date. That is the date you'll meet your soulmate. Harry and Louis have different beliefs, live in different worlds and have different dreams, hopes and fears. Yet, they're not so different from each other when it comes to love. When their paths cross, there is no doubt they belong together. Except for that one, essential difference: they didn't receive the same date.

Or, a fic about differences that make no difference at all: Harry and Louis are soulmates. In every way possible. Featuring Niall as a role model, and Liam and Zayn as a different kind of role models.

Hiding Place by alivingfire

Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.

From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. Meanwhile, Harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. All he has to do now is convince Louis to give them a chance.

Or, the canon compliant Harry and Louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

Learning to Eat by photo41

Celebrity chef Louis Tomlinson has a problem. He’s opening his first restaurant in 9 weeks, and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s ‘standoffish’ and ‘rude’ and ‘quick to temper’. Whatever. He ends up saddled with an annoying, happy-go lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. His tv presenter and pop star best friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting Julia Child?!

Kitchen AU where Harry helps Louis re-learn how to eat. (METAPHORICALLY)

Every Good Boy Deserves Cookies by recklessandbrave

"Y-yeah?" Louis asks breathlessly, "And then?"

Harry giggles and moves his bum back to meet Louis. "Add the vanilla and crack the eggs, beating it all in with salt," Harry says.

Or where Harry is a chef who teaches a class and Louis swears it's only Harry's bossiness that turns him on, not the recipe for cookies and Harry likes being praised.

Check Please by zedi

Louis has a shit date. Harry offers to cover the bill. They maybe fall in love.

Float Down Like Autumn Leaves (Stay Now) by hopelesswriter

Sometimes life plays more tricks than treats on us. Sometimes we plan our future and hope for the best but our world is turned upside down. Sometimes the crispy air of October brings the smell of pumpkin spice candles instead of dead things- and sometimes, when it’s meant to be, there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it.

Or

The AU in which Louis has a 6 year old daughter with a costume emergency that puts her school's annual Halloween party at risk, Halloween decorated cupcakes are hard to find and tall men look absolutely ridiculously cute in giant vegetables costumes. Co-starring Harry, who makes really good food for the kids. Featuring Niall, who works in a bakery but has a part time job as a babysitter. And as much as he doesn't believe in love at first (or second) sight, Louis is really infatuated and really wouldn't mind seeing Harry again.

taste on my tongue by bethaboo

Louis Tomlinson, second place winner on TXF four years ago, is looking to reinvent his career.

Harry Styles is a baker who is desperate for a bakery of his own.

Louis doesn't bake. Or cook. Or know how to use an oven.

Take Louis. Take Harry. Add in a heaping cup of sexual tension. Another cup of delicious (and not so delicious) food. A smidgen of competitive spirit. A dash of hopes and dreams. And you get Kitchen Wars, a TV show that promises to be the must-watch event of the fall.

Every Story Ever Told by Rearviewdreamer

Becoming a best-selling author isn’t as difficult as Louis would have guessed. It seems all you need these days is the perfect blend of alcohol induced philosophy, complete disregard for one’s dignity, a live blog about how fucked love is, and a bored publisher interested enough to offer him a deal.

Skin New, Hands True, My Hands All Over You by PearlyDewdrops

Harry designs wedding cakes, so of course meeting blissfully happy couples every day is part of his job description. Unfortunately, it's caused Harry to perpetually hope each new day is the one he'll find love, too. That is, until Harry realises everything he's ever wanted is right under his nose in the shape of his best friend, Louis.

But predictably, Harry only comes to this epiphany when Louis starts seeing someone else. And this is not a John Hughes movie as far as Harry is aware. Everyone else is pretty sure, though.

Featuring a heavy dose of pining, copious amounts of alcohol, drunk dialing that results in a situation reminiscent of Rachel Green's, a ginger cat that likes to interrupt intimate moments, and a Halloween party that changes everything.

'Til I Tasted You by kiwikero

Louis is Harry Styles' biggest fan. It doesn't matter that Harry is famous for being a food blogger and Louis can't cook to save his life.

At least, until Harry offers to give Louis a cooking lesson. Then it matters just a teensy bit.

You You You by isthatyoularry

“Infamous boybander leaves club together with unknown,” read the headline. Underneath were pictures of a boy with dark curls, green eyes and very tight pants. They both studied the article for a moment, reading it through quickly. “Is that…?” Louis frowned. That guy almost looked exactly like... "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" "Louis," Niall said, looking absolutely fucked over. "You just fucked the most wanted guy on earth. You just fucked Harry Styles of One Direction."

Or, the one where Harry and Louis meet at a club and Louis takes Harry home, only for him to realize that the boy who just made him breakfast half naked is Harry Styles from One Direction.

You Give Me Fever (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by OneDirectionsErections

Louis walks in on Harry jerking off in the shower. What happens after is just… Impulsive and spontaneous.

Big Hands, I Know You're the One by samajama

Louis and Harry move in together after the X Factor house, which would be exciting, if they could stop walking in on each other wanking.

Incoming Package by HelloAmHere

There weren’t a lot of pilots who were willing to be couriers and there weren’t a lot of pilots who were willing to be couriers who were under six feet tall and capable of doing cheaply with oxygen and there weren’t a lot of pilot couriers under six feet tall and oxygen trained who would take a job like this from AMAZON. Even if COD Harry Styles was on the other end of the elevator to hell.

Strawberry Champagne (Anonymous)

Louis has lived eight whole years surrounded by insufferable roommates who couldn’t practice any privacy spells to save their lives, all cramped up in an old dormitory in the grand and majestic castle of Hogwarts. One would have thought it taught him some elementary stuff like… never sharing his living space with another person ever again.

Except, it’s not as simple, is it?

or : Louis Tomlinson, quidditch extraordinaire sees his name and reputation dragged through the mud and seek refuge in the muggle world. Enter Harry, full time vegetable enthusiast and really fucking cute.

won't you wear my watermark by bottomlinsons (grimgrace)

The new Earl of Harrisson is a young man, an impulsive romantic, forced to shoulder too much responsibility far too soon. He is also Louis’ soulmate, but there’s nothing to be done about that. At least, as far as Louis is concerned.

The Earl, it seems, will take some convincing.

(A slow burn Regency AU featuring secrets, seduction and, our favourite, soulmarks.)

I Left My Heart In Melbourne by EmmyLouWho

Harry rattles off his email, which is disappointingly normal (harrystyles@gmail.com). One of Louis’ favourite parts of his job is keeping a list of all the ridiculous emails that people use (highlights of this week’s list include HotBoiiiii6969 and noGIRAFFESinhereplease).

Louis brings up Harry’s profile on his screen, and shit. He’s gorgeous. Harry is exactly the kind of guy who doesn’t need an app to get dates, he probably has people falling all over him at the supermarket.

♡♡♡

Or: only Harry Styles could manage to fall in love using a dating app... without actually using the dating app.

Written for the Larry Abroad Fic Challenge 2018.

Prompt: Melbourne, Australia.

Milan, Live On Tour by glitteredcurls

Before Harry leaves for tour, Louis tries to steal photos of Harry to keep to himself during the months of distance. One strange obsession for him is capturing pictures of Harry brushing his teeth.

(or, a one shot based on the tour photo for Milan)

Someone Drunk, Someone Stoned (Nirvana Covers The Hole In The Wall) by spaceboyharry

All Louis had to do was get good grades and get a degree. Hot, horny, and determined frat boys with bad pick-up lines and devilish smirks were NOT included in the college brochure.

You Came Along And Moved Me, Honey by flowercrownclem

Louis was gone for Harry from the moment they met, already planning their wedding and picking out rings in his head, and after months of living in each other's pockets they knew almost everything about each other. The one thing Louis didn't know about Harry was what he did for a living. Faced with vague answers and question-evading, Louis begins to imagine scandalous and dangerous secrets that Harry must be keeping - but maybe Harry's secrets aren't so sinister after all.

In which Louis thinks Harry's hiding a life of crime and Harry just really likes candles.

At Night When The Stars Light Up My Room by theplaceofyouandme

Harry’s about to enter Louis' galaxy, littered with stars that need fuel to shine brighter.

just bend and we can learn to love again by jaerie

Louis is a single dad of twins just trying to get through each day one step at a time. Harry has his own struggles as a young dad. Maybe Louis' curiosity and nosiness has found just the friend that he needs in his life. Maybe they both just need each other.

honey, make this easy by sweetums

He knows the site that Jemma used to advertise for a nanny when she was preparing to return to work from maternity leave so he quickly finds it on Google. The loaded page claims to be “your compass in the complex sea of childcare” and Harry thinks, great, since he needs all the guidance he can get.

-

AU; Harry’s sister recently passed away, leaving him with temporary custody of her daughter. Needing help, he hires Louis as a nanny and the boy turns out to be help in more ways than he expected.

Prelude to Forever by AlwaysAqua

@StylinHarry: So I kinda fell for a boy yesterday at #ChiPride. Kissed & fireworks went off. Literally. He’s a drama teacher. Goes by “Louis” but I prefer Sunshine. Very pretty. The prettiest. Got separated & I’m a fucking idiot who forgot to get his number. Anyone know him? #helpfindsunshine

Or, Louis and Harry meet at Pride in Chicago and spend the day falling for each other before getting accidentally separated.

Sing You Butterflies by objectlesson

Louis stares for a moment before some primal sympathetic force in him activates. He has to help this boy. He can hardly walk, and he seems so young (yet ageless, beyond age, like a sea turtle or a parrot or a tree or something else odd and magical), and on top of all that, he has body glitter clinging to his skin, like that roll-on stuff his sisters used to use as preteens, only pink-gold and twice as thick. It’s, like, professional grade. He’s also wearing grass- and dirt-stained pink silk women’s underwear, so maybe he’s from London. Maybe he’s a drag queen who crawled all the way from a nightclub in Soho just to save Louis from his horribly mundane and woefully heterosexual neighbours out here in the middle of nowhere.

---

or, Harry’s a clumsy unicorn who accidentally stomps on a witch’s garden and is turned into a human as punishment, so he wanders into a nearby village covered in glitter, still figuring out how to walk on two feet, and meets the fairy-tale-fine Louis, who has to teach him how to live as a human and stop him from eating soap.

The Things You Hide by LiveLaughLoveLarry

Louis has been an MI6 agent for four years. Now he wants out. Unfortunately, his superiors have other ideas. Their solution: a 'mission' in the Greek Islands, one that's more vacation than actual work. Harry is an avid photographer who shows him around the area. He's open and carefree and everything that Louis wishes he could be. Along the way they fall in love, and maybe Louis learns a little about love, a little about lies, and a whole lot the meaning of home.

Stranded In A Dream by FullOnLarrie

Harry leaves everything behind for a job in Vegas which doesn't quite work out as planned. Feeling down on his luck, he meets Louis, a dancer for Britney Spears, who's determined to help Harry turn things around. They may or may not end up married.

Soft Wings by FullOnLarrie

Harry is a Dolly Parton fan who wants to get a tattoo in tribute to her. Louis is the tattoo artist.

Don't Want Shelter by FullOnLarrie

Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…

When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other.

Mercedes Boy by FullOnLarrie

There's a surprise waiting at home for Louis after he finishes his day on the tracks at the Mercedes AMG Driving Experience.

read you for some kind of poem by mentalistecbm

He likes to imagine that he’s always aware of Harry’s eyes on him, but the spark that flashes across his body at how often Harry licks his lips while looking at his throat doesn’t feel like something he’s explicitly and consciously acknowledged before, but it feels familiar. Usual. Right.

(Louis is human, and Harry is lucky enough to be his vampire boyfriend.)

break open the sky by karamelised

Being a werewolf isn't always easy. Especially if you have no idea what you're doing.

or

Werewolf au. Harry might be a werewolf, but he still wants to experience Uni like everyone else. Turns out he learns a lot.

to the light by fondleeds

“Hey,” Louis kicks his leg out at him, misses by a mile, but Harry’s cheeks still glow at it, all close-mouthed smile and dimples. “It’s Christmas. I refuse to let you be lonesome and dejected on Christmas.”

"It’s not Christmas yet,” Harry says, matter-of-fact, like he knew that before Louis told him about it that first week of December, when the lights had started appearing and Harry had risen out of the water with such wonder and dreaminess in his eyes, the last dustings of snow caught in his wet lashes.

“It’s the Christmas season,” Louis responds. Harry rolls his eyes at him.

-

AU. Harry is a mermaid lost at sea and Louis is a boy determined to make his first Christmas a memorable one.

Forget-me-not by SexyAsswoMan

“I- I can't move” the elder one finally croaked out, and with more distress Harry came to see that the vines had wrapped itself around the lad's ankles. With a dumb nod Harry took a couple of steps forward. He could see Louis flinch with his sudden movement but he tried not to think about it. Instead, he lifted his hands, and tried his best to concentrate, hoping his power would listen to him just this once around the other man and untie him. Ever so slowly, the vines started to detach themselves from Louis's calves, and soon enough, the man was free.

With shaking legs, Louis stood up from the position he was in, and suddenly the air around them got thicker.

“You're- you're a witch.” Louis hissed under the harsh wind, making Harry flinch at the accusation in his voice.

or,

Where Harry had something he did not wish to have. Louis was just trying to figure him out.

Elysian by wonderlou

“What could be it, Niall?” Harry asks gently with a sigh. He slouches down further into his chair, crossing his arms lazily across his chest. He is bored. He has been bored for five years straight, but even more so now that his one interest has shut himself out entirely. Harry had not even heard from Louis, not since last night, not since he had gotten on his nerves so much that he was torn between knocking him out and smiling in surrender to the slight awe he felt. Louis is opinionated like no one he’s ever seen, but his voice is honeyed; high-pitched and indignant. Harry is nothing short of entranced.

Or, Harry is running out of time to fall in love, but with Louis, it seems as if there’s all the time in the world.

no place to call home by suspendrs

“What are you smiling about, Harrison,” the boy spits, body language suddenly getting defensive. “I’ll have you know that I’m-”

“Harry,” Harry interrupts, giggling. “My name is Harry. And if you’re not called Peter, then what are you called?”

The boy tilts his chin up slightly, surveying Harry like he’s checking if he’s worthy of knowing something as important as his name. “Well, Herschel, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Louis.”

Or, Louis isn't Peter Pan and Harry isn't Wendy and Neverland is nothing like Harry thought it would be, but it's perfect anyway.

you flower, you feast by stylinsoncity

He's King of the Underworld, but don't assume Louis has it all. He could stand for some excitement in his monotonous, eternal life and maybe, even.....a soulmate.

(Despite not having a soul.)

And along came "Harry".

The Lonely Planet Guide to Second Chances (Anonymous)

When Harry and Louis broke up, the last thing on Harry's mind was the non-refundable surprise trip he had booked for them across Europe. Harry was supposed to be moving on, not sightseeing with his ex. In hindsight, touring the continent with Louis was probably a bad idea. So naturally, that's exactly what Harry did.

Or, the breakup travel fic featuring romantic sunsets, awkward bed sharing, and second chances against a backdrop of some of Europe's most iconic cities.

Is it so wrong that you make me strong? by SilverShadow1

Harry goes to college and gets comfortable in his skin and thrives. He is majoring in women’s studies, has a cat that he hides from residential life and is the president of the LGBTQ club on campus. During his sophomore year, he organizes a welcome party for the LGBTQ first years and meets Louis.

OR

Harry and Louis meet at university and bring out new sides of each other.

I Won't Give Up So Come And Get Me by runaway_train

“I can’t believe you’ve roped me into this.”

Liam sighs and looks at his best friend slash flat mate behind him through the mirror he is currently standing in front of. “What are you talking about Louis? How have I roped you into this?”

Louis is lying sprawled out on his back on Liam’s bed, watching him try on his eighth top from a pile on the chair next to him. “You know perfectly well how. I was quite content spending my Friday night staying in watching Netflix with a takeaway and now I’m being forced to go on a blind date with some bloke while you make bedroom eyes at your new boy toy.”

Liam turns towards him, hands on his hips. his face set in a deep frown. “That’s a load of shit. Firstly, I didn’t force you, you were perfectly up for it last week when I asked, you’re just getting pissy with me because you are nervous. Secondly, it is not a blind date. Zayn suggested that he meet you as you’re my best friend and then I suggested he bring along his best friend to make it a bit more even, who said anything about you guys getting together?”

Or

The one where Louis meets Harry and it all just seems too good to be true...

Bottoms Up by Harryskiwiposes, iicfhome28

Louis turns his attention back towards Harry, who’s talking animatedly to the couple wearing the matching shirts. His curls whip around his head and his dimple is out in full force. Harry pulls a little rainbow flag out from the inner pocket of his jacket, sticks it in the air and announces “all right cuties and beauties, follow the nice colorful flag for a good time!”

Louis sighs as he falls into step with the group. He is so fucked.

Or: the one where Harry is a VERY flamboyant tour guide and Louis can't help but fall head over heels

Missed Connections: Circumstance Will Decide by Harryskiwiposes

Louis looked at the picture. It couldn’t be. It couldn’t. He zoomed in to get a better look. It was. It most definitely was. It was the blue bandana guy. With his wonderful, beautiful dimples. The wonderful, beautiful dimples that Louis had been searching for all week.

And he was with Liam. Right now. Liam was with Louis’ blue bandana man, at Ed’s gig. The gig that Louis had slept through. Someone upstairs was having a really good laugh at Louis’ expense.

Or - the one where Louis is desperate to track down the cute, fit guy wearing the blue bandana, but the universe seems to have other plans.

Laundry Room by beautlouis

The third Wednesday of the new year, Louis finds himself in the laundry room, just as he was the last Wednesday and the one before that. He’s doing pretty well with his New Year’s resolution. The only problem so far is the company he finds in the laundry room. It seems that it’s just him and one other boy who’ve chosen late Wednesday nights as prime laundry-doing time. That wouldn’t be a problem except for who the other boy is.

He’s seen this boy around; it’s hard to miss the long-legged, long-haired dream that lives in Louis’ complex. He likes to wear very sheer shirts and very high boots; he is incredibly fucking gorgeous and yeah, Louis’ noticed him but he’s never spoken to him. Until tonight, apparently.

[Louis and Harry are both students living in the same apartment complex. They end up having the same laundry night and time. Louis can't stop staring at Harry and he can't figure out why Harry consistently points out Louis’ inside-out shirts, and his untied shoes, and messy hair. Enter slow burn-ish flirting, banter, awkwardness, and a lot of laundry.]

Baby, Honey by lovelarry10

Harry's been talking about sex and babies on stage too much for Louis' liking, so he decides to give him what he wants...

Or the one with the aftermath of Harry's Detroit concert...

every color that you see by larryutopia

It wasn’t often that Louis would sacrifice an afternoon full of relaxing and eating coco pops to look at art from hundreds of years ago. But then again, most days aren’t Zayn Malik’s birthday.

Zayn likes art, Louis does not. Harry gives them both a tour of the National Gallery in London. Flirting and artistic dirty talk ensue.

Your Lips, My Lips, Apocalypse by Harryskiwiposes

The club isn't the best place to find a lover.

Or is it?

Alien Roadtrip! by HelloAmHere

For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind.

OR: roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous.

Green Jello (orphan_account)

In Liam’s defense, he’d mostly been joking.

Louis didn’t see it that way, of course, but he wasn’t sure anyone else would either, had their best friend dared them to jump into the ocean in the middle of December “for the vine,” and they’d ended up in the hospital with a nasty case of pneumonia and a very high chance of being stuck there through Christmas.

***

Louis is stuck in the hospital for the holidays. The only spot of hope is his unfairly pretty nurse.

Doctor's Orders by larrymylove

Louis was fucked was the thing. And if he wasn’t currently in the situation he was in, he’d laugh at the irony of that statement.

Louis gets into a bit of a predicament and has to go to the hospital. Harry is the doctor in charge of his care. Based on the prompt I saw on tumblr about Louis getting a sex toy stuck inside of him, and Harry being the doctor who has to remove it.

Shot of Pure Gold by gezurak

The arrival of spring makes Louis feel like Dr. Frankenstein - "it's alive" coming first as a whisper, then a near hysterical shout. Except instead of one rather useless monster, it's hundreds of (admittedly, not so) useless monsters as London's plant life awakens from a winter of dormancy and attacks him with pollen.

Or, Louis has hay fever and Harry is an immunologist.

your heart is a slow train coming by ifthat

"Right, Louis. You always have him," she offers with a teasing smile, and Harry makes another face.

Bringing Louis to his sister's wedding, as his date. That just sounds a bit disastrous. Louis works under him, as in, he follows Harry's orders and helps him with just about everything. He's a wonderful nurse, and really loves the kids, works with them so well Harry is constantly amazed by him. Not to mention Louis' his best mate.

"Don't think so," Harry shakes his head, heart racing at the mere thought, reaching for the remote and setting up Netflix.

(And at the End of the Day) I Will Return to the City of Lakes by taggiecb

Louis Tomlinson, Doctor, and chair of a well deserving children’s charity is thrilled to be contacted by the team of famous pop star, and also long time star of Louis’ dreams Harry Styles, to create a fundraising opportunity. Nothing actually goes the way Louis thought it would.

decorated emergency by harrapunzel

So what if they kissed once. It was the end of a shift that had seemed to drag on for twelve days instead of twelve hours. Their doctor was slow and felt the need to transfer every single patient, putting more work on every member of staff. Harry was stressed. Louis was the one who crowded him up against the door in the break room. It was Louis' fault, he was always pulling shit.

It’s Hard to Say It, Time to Say It by kikikryslee

Harry sighed. “We have a lot of clothes in stock, sir-” “Please don’t call me ‘sir,’” the guy said. “I’m only twenty-six.” “OK, then. We have a lot of clothes in stock, dude, so finding something else in your size won’t be a problem if it means you’ll buy something. What are you? Like, an extra small?” The guy actually had the nerve to look offended. Harry resisted laughing. “Hey! I’ll have you know that I’m a medium!” “In what?” Harry asked, looking the guy over. “Children’s?” --- Or, the one where Louis is an annoying customer who won't leave Harry's shop on time, and Harry is counting down the seconds until Louis leaves. Until a chance encounter at a concert, and suddenly, Harry really doesn't want Louis to leave.

For Better and For Worse by phdmama

Written for the HL Summer Exchange - @Waterproofbabyvamp, I hope I did justice to your prompt!! (Based on the prompt: "1.Harry and Louis have been together for 5 years and they've been getting questions when they would be getting married and start a family. Bur harry doesnt have the time. They were arguing one morning when Harry had enough and left for work. He's a doctor and works at the a&e there is a call that there has been a bad car crash and that there is more than one patient coming in. Harry does his job good and works on the first patient and everything goes great until his next patient is Louis.")

Hold My Heart by Awriterwrites, phdmama

“Excuse me, mate, I’m the window seat here.” The voice was soft, apologetic, and accented in something a bit unfamiliar — northern England, maybe, Harry thought.

“Oh,” Harry jumped to his feet and moved aside, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you standing there.”

The other man laughed as he swung a bag into the overhead compartment and slid into the seat. “You were well caught up in that book, mate. What are you reading?”

Harry paused, wondering how to explain the fact that he was reading an epic and x-rated romance that was the story of a relationship between a prince and the man he’d enslaved. “Oh, you know, just some fiction my sister recommended.” He turned to look at the man and froze.

Sitting next to him was Louis Tomlinson.

***

Or, the one where famous Louis Tomlinson offers his hand and a lot more to his seat mate on a transatlantic flight.

hope your heart is strong enough by tieduptwoships

Doctors AU. Louis and Harry were taught in medical school that you will not be able to save everyone but that’s just life, it happens. That doesn’t mean they’re not going to try.

Soft Place To Land by DuchessKitty16

Harry is emotionally recovering from a death of a loved one and a break up with his boyfriend. He's only recently moved to Manchester and is in need of new friends and someone to make him smile again. He meets his next door neighbors - 3 handsome guys who work at the hospital up the street and who Harry immediately wants to get to know; especially the compact curvy one with the gorgeous blue eyes. One night when he's baking Christmas treats Harry burns his hand and goes next door to get help. Louis takes care of the burn on his hand and maybe also helps heal Harry's broken heart.

the dead things we carry by MediaWhore

September ‘49 He hasn’t seen him since that day in France, that horrible muddy day where for one terrifyingly long second, Louis really thought he was going to die. He winces with the phantom pain, the hand not holding his cane going to his stomach automatically, remembering the franticness, the tenderness, of Harry’s hands while Louis was bleeding out.

This is the man who saved Louis’ life.

For one second, Louis fears Harry won’t recognise him, but his eyes widen when he turns to his left and they meet Louis’. He takes a step forward, reaching for him with a shaky hand before stopping himself.

“Louis,’ Harry says with a shudder and Louis doesn’t think his name has ever carried more weight.

This is the only man Louis ever thought about kissing for real.

“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”

There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.

You and Me, We're in this Together by themitamlads

When professional football player Louis Tomlinson gets a terrible concussion that could possibly ruin his entire life, Harry Styles swoops in and takes him in as his patient.

or, an american football au where Louis is a famous professional football player on the Green Bay Packers and Harry is a doctor who won't let his patient give up on his life no matter how terrible it is.

now i need someone to breathe me back to life by tippytoetomlinstyles

“I’m going to kiss you.” Harry breathes, meeting his eyes. Louis smiles.

“I’m going to kiss you back.”

It’s surprising how gently Harry kisses him. Louis didn’t expect for him to take it slow, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Harry’s lips are plush and soft and indeed taste like the wine that stained them a beautiful shade of pink. Harry’s hand is cupping his cheek, and he’s grateful that their eyes are closed because he’s blushing like a sinner in church. Their bodies press together, not for any other reason than the fact that every inch between them feels wrong if they’re not together completely like this. Louis’ brain is making no sense. But kissing Harry is great. It’s wonderful. It’s every possible positive adjective he can think of. Which is none at the moment. His brain is blank. He absolutely loves it.

or the one where Louis is a nurse and a midwife, and Harry is so clumsy he just happens to fall into Louis' life and turn everything upside down in the best way possible.

never mind the odds (i'm gonna try my luck) by spit_on_me_larry

Louis Tomlinson is going to be the journalistic voice of his generation. He’s just waiting for his editor to realize it. For now, he’s stuck writing fluff pieces for the Life and Style section of London Now Newspaper.

His latest assignment is more of the same rubbish: a profile of Harry Styles, plastic surgeon and one of London’s most eligible bachelors. Louis is intent on writing something smart and biting and unexpected; if it makes Harry look like an idiot, that’s just the price of good journalism. That is, until Louis gets to know Harry and realizes he might be kind of perfect.

Featuring Louis as a writer/workaholic, Harry as a plastic surgeon with a heart of gold, Zayn and Niall as Louis’ colleagues and long-suffering best mates, and Liam as everyone’s favorite pediatric surgeon and Harry’s right-hand man.

Falling For Me Won't Be A Mistake by Rearviewdreamer

Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn't know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he's ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.

DOCTOR, DOCTOR by sylva

Paediatrics AU. Harry and Louis are competing for the same position. They have differing outlooks, a heavy amount of mutual irritation, and all manner of reasons why getting romantically involved would be a terrible idea. Somehow — well. Things end up happening.

He wants your job. Remember that.

Secret Little Rendezvous by iheartallthefandoms

Harry's a realtor, and has been living at one of his company's houses. What happens when is he caught there by the beautiful and bubbly Louis Tomlinson, one of his fellow realtors? Will he rat him out or bring him home for Christmas?

(Won't You) Stay to the A.M. by lululawrence

Harry tucked a few loose strands back up into the bun on top of his head and headed to the front of the building. He really would rather no one saw him behind the gym where he worked if possible so they wouldn't have a chance to catch on that the address he gave for work was actually his friend Ed’s and the number belonged to his buddy Niall. Harry didn’t like the term homeless, because he was making at least some money now and he was actively looking for a better gig so he could actually afford at least a bed in this massive city, but that’s basically what he was. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, he knew that, sometimes shit just happened and this was how it turned out, but he also didn’t want to broadcast his situation if he didn’t have to either. Especially if Louis Tomlinson, Britain's most talented young actor, was going to be frequenting Harry's place of employment on a regular basis.

falling for your hallelujah by whiskeyinthejar

There's a homeless boy who's made his new place outside Louis's work. Louis, in unexpected generosity, offers him a cup of coffee and a sprinkle doughnut. No one really expected it to become a Thing.

-

(In which Louis works in a cafe, Harry has no home, and it's freezing cold but no one cares).

Brooklyn Saw Me by alreadyhome

In the cold and unforgiving city of New York, Louis doesn't have a home and Harry wants to give him one. But as their heartstrings become increasingly intertwined, and the snow continues to fall, home is getting harder and harder to find.

Show me wealth, I'll show your heart by harrystylesandstuff

Harry knows the value of money. He knows how to negotiate numbers, knows its worth in engines, and knows the amount he needs to secure for his business. What he didn’t know was that, if spent wisely, money is the one thing he really doesn’t need.

Or AU where Harry has more money than he can handle, Louis can’t handle not having any, and they both find out the greatest wealth isn’t countable.

Heart Without A Home by Snowy38

Louis is staying at the shelter when a late entry pulls at his conscience and he decides to share his precious bed with the mysterious Harry. The pair somehow find an instant bond but Louis can't help but feel Harry is hiding something...

Featuring Zayn as a chef, Perrie as the shelter manager and Liam as a helper- and Louis' best mate.

And listen to the thunder by starsandnightskies

2063, the world is overpopulated and the rich and wealthy have built a space habitat for them to live on - Elysium. Louis and Harry try to find their way through many difficulties together but will their love survive?

the beauty of the blistering sky by kiwikero

When the world goes to shit, it's all Louis can do to keep himself alive. That isn't enough, though, when his mother and siblings are back in their hometown, and he has no way of getting in touch with them. He plans to make the journey alone, but a twist of fate brings him Harry, a stranger with a kind smile in a world that's forgotten what kindness means.

Together they set out for Doncaster, and along the way Louis finds out that, with people like Harry around, there might be hope for the world yet.

Vanity Over Empathy by sweetlullabies

“Listen,” Louis growls, his voice at a scarily low level. “I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. If you don’t let us stay here, it’s going to be tragic when your minions find out you’ve been killed with your own weapon.”

They stand there for a moment, wrists tight, the veins of their arms fiercely evident as Louis holds the spear in the direction of Harry’s abdomen with everything he has. The air of the tent is thick with tension as they stare each other down and Louis continues to use his utmost strength.

Louis finally releases him harshly, locking eyes with him in order to understand that the guy is on the same page.

In a world with no remorse, Louis is getting along just fine in the race of survival, but he faces a minor setback once he finds himself stuck with a polar opposite.

Please Remember Me Once More by peachyzain

Everything has gone to shit, as in most of the UK has been destroyed by the corrupt government and nobody can be trusted. Louis and Zayn are partners in crime armed with devilish good looks, quick wit, and actual weapons. Liam is a guarded badass with a soft spot for one particular boy. Niall is a box of giggles and dick drawings, and a surprising amount of knowledge. Harry is a particularly affectionate boy with no memory of a life before Louis found him in the woods.

Fake Tears and Garlic Bread by loueas

“His date is a twat,” Harry announced, interrupting Niall and Nick, “if I had someone that pretty wanting to have dinner with me, I’d probably arrive an hour early and take him somewhere much nicer.” “Aww Hazza, what a sappy romantic you are,” Nick cooed, “Maybe you should go and tell him that, might cheer him up.” “You think?” Harry perked up, “Maybe I should offer to be his date instead?”

Or, Louis is fed up of having to pay for his food and decides to pretend he has been stood up by his "date" in order to blag himself a free meal, Harry is the clueless romantic dragged into the equation, Zayn and Liam think Louis is an idiot, and Niall just really loves garlic bread.

the love is ours to make (so we should make it) by lingerielarries

“I’m.. Harry. I nanny? For Ernest and Doris?” Harry responded.

“A nanny? How old even are you? You look twelve.” Louis remarked. Something caught Louis’ eye, and a closer look revealed that Harry had a coat of pink nail polish on his fingers.

“Nineteen. I’m nineteen.” Harry replied.

“Right. Nineteen, wears pink, flower crowns and paints his nails. Who the actual fuck did my mum hire?”

or

the one where louis takes some time off from life to return home, only to be met with a strange boy in pink and a flowercrown as the nanny of his siblings.

its not a good morning without you by me by whatmakeslarrybeautiful

Harry and Louis have a day off, a day in, and its a lazy morning. They are painfully in love. Teasing, playfulness, and a lot of smiles ft. a bit of awkward Harry.

Draw by dolce_piccante

AU. An overworked university student, an endearing chatterbox, art, loads of fluff, and nudity. Lots and lots of nudity!

The Kids Are Alright by ashavahishta

Alex's first day of school definitely doesn't go the way Louis hoped.

What About Tonight by taggiecb

Louis loves his new career. It might just be killing him, but he loves it. What he doesn't love is how easily the boy he cares most about seems to move in and out of his life.

or

prompt #593 The despair at how long it takes to get there.

Caught My Attention by kassio

Reason #27 - Your one chance with a celebrity.

When he managed to stop ogling Harry's body and look up, the first thing Louis noticed was that Harry’s face was probably the most perfect face he’d ever seen. He’d seen him in that film, but he was even better in person. Maybe it was the smile.

The second thing he noticed was that that smile was directed at him. He’d been caught staring. Harry’s smile only widened when Louis locked horrified eyes with him. He tilted his head curiously, and his eyes flicked down Louis’ body. “Who’s this?”

Louis had been around long enough to know when someone was checking him out. He hadn’t expected to see that look from Harry fucking Styles.

Let's Redecorate Our Lives by thoughtlessblogger

He pauses with his hand on the doorknob. Turning to Harry he says, “Prepare yourself.”

“It can't be that bad,” Harry replies with a glint in his eye.

“You'd be surprised.”

Slowly, he opens the door, stepping aside and motioning Harry in.

Harry takes the room in silently, standing in the center and turning on his heels with wide eyes. When he's finished, he turns to Louis, who's leaning in the doorway. “This is horrendous.”

Or

Louis hires a decorator and gets more than he'd anticipated.

lightning before the thunder by delsicle

Harry came from one of the most powerful lines of fire mages in the country. He was supposed to be a natural at magic, a prodigy, even.

But instead he was in the X-Factor contestant house kitchen at two in the morning, wearing only his pants, and he had just set the stove on fire while making snacks for his bandmates and the boy he was in love with.

Or, just another X Factor fic featuring dumb boys with dumber crushes, growing pains, random fires, and a dragon.

i never did believe in the ways of magic by binarysunsets

Louis can’t shake the feeling that there’s something in the woods, pressing close and watching him with a heavy gaze. It makes him antsy, fills him with jitters. He wants to run, or scream, but he knows to do so would only put him in danger if there’s actually something out there after all. He’s sure he’s just imagining it, but his heart nevertheless pounds in his throat.

When Louis Tomlinson goes on a songwriting retreat to the Laurentian Mountains of Canada, this isn't how he expects his evening to go.

or the au where Louis is a singer who has been cursed to never make music again and Harry is a reclusive witch of the Canadian mountains who's going to help him break the curse.

come on, jump out at me by g_uttertrash

Harry is a witch from a long line of power, an ancient line that’s one of the strongest left alive in their hemisphere. He can cast spells without a word if need be, fly on a broomstick, and has a black cat (a kitten, really) named Felix that is his animal familiar. He can shape galaxies in his cupped hands and can destroy them just as easily. He can choose exactly how to use his power, for encouragement and support, or for more nefarious causes if he wishes to.

And as fate would have it, he’s scared of haunted houses.

(Harry is a witch who carries around a stuffed pumpkin, Louis is a vampire with too much time on his hands, and their best mates Zayn & Niall aren't exactly what they seem...)

under your thumb by strong

where the year is 1975, louis is the leader of a misfit group of boys in venice, and harry is a roller skater who somehow finds his way in

work those shorts. by nopehes (orphan_account)

The AU in which H&L are basketball captains from rival schools who hook up during late night 1v1 basketball sessions.

down in atlantis by polka_stripes

Inspired by Atlantis by Bridget Mendler for the HL Song Exchange, for insomeniax

Harry's sick of his string of shallow relationships and doesn't want to crush on Louis if he's just going to be broken up with after a few months. The heart doesn't always care what you want, though, and Harry's is going to dive in deep.

-- Sunday - Day 5 Harry should have known Sean wasn’t serious about him, that Harry was just another lay, albeit a reliable one. He looks at the workout for the day and sighs.

2x (4x canceled dinners) 2x late night “hey come over” texts before a big exam 3x unfulfilled promises to visit over the summer

Despite what Harry had been trying to tell himself, their relationship had never made it out of the shallow end. --

Double-Play by photo41

For tumblr user cheerleaderharry; write me an au where harry is a ballboy for a triple a minor league team and louis is the hotshot shortstop on the cusp of being called up to the majors who flirts with him from the dugout, hanging over the railings winking at him

Harry’s studying abroad in the states with his best mate Niall, and somehow gets thrust into the world of baseball. Not that he minds though, as baseball is chocked full of attractive players, especially Buffalo’s shortstop, whose favourite past-time seems to be using as many baseball pick-up lines as he can. Directed at Harry.

“Is that a Louisville slugger in your pocket?”

Swallow My Words by YesIsAWorld

Senior year is stressful. On top of balancing school work, family, and friends, Harry's lacrosse team is vying to win the state championship, he's not sure where he's going to college yet, and he has a secret boyfriend that no one can know about.

You Turned Around, And You Stole My Heart by leonardodicaprio

Louis commits petty theft, Harry hates his job. It all works out in the end.

Crash by hilouriously

Louis likes to skateboard through empty walk ways. Harry likes to keep a first aid kit in his bag. Their worlds collide, literally.

Things Never Change by FullOnLarrie

Harry is about to graduate from college with a degree in Library Science, Louis is an antiques dealer. They meet and fall in love.

Long Before We Both Thought The Same Thing by allyasavedtheday

“So are you admitting you love Harry yet?”

Louis pauses in the middle of his story about the movie he and Harry went to see last night to raise an incredulous eyebrow. “What are you on about? Of course I love Harry.”

Has Zayn lost his mind? He’s been friends with Louis for nearly seven years and Harry for six, under what circumstances did it appear like they didn’t love each other?

“Okay, let me rephrase,” Zayn says, an amused little quirk to his mouth like he knows something Louis doesn’t. “Are you admitting you’re in love with Harry yet?”

Louis stares at him in bewilderment, mouth working as he tries to form a response. “I…what?”

*

Or, Louis maybe, sort of realises he's in love with his best friend of almost twenty years and he maybe, sort of thinks that said best friend could love him back? A prequel to If You Asked Me If You Love Him (I'd Lie).

Who You’ll Become by yourpricelessadvice

Harry’s twenty seven - as of four months ago - and he has got this adulting thing down to a fine art. It’s not that he’s unhappy with his lot; he’s got a decent job and thankfully enough money to do and have fairly nice things, a wonderful partner and a small but close knit family that he obviously loves – but it isn’t exactly exciting.

Life has a funny, funny way of sneaking up on you, though.

Oblivious by Speechless

"You say it's nothing serious after you've been obsessing over it for months," Liam observes, pausing their videogame. "But now you barely talk about it-" "You guys fucking ignore me whenever I try!" Louis shouts, bumping his shoulder against Liam's and hurting himself in the process. "You're postponing sex, when it's obvious that Luke's up for it at this point." Liam ignores him. "For some reason you've left Harry in the dark about it-" "What?!" Louis snaps, banging his controller against the coffee table. "I have not!" "And no matter how blatant it is, no matter how fucking ridiculous you both get when it comes to it-" "Shut your hole." Louis urges, pinching his thigh, as soon as Harry enters the room. "Shush."

* Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird *

Into The Blue by zarah5

AU. In which Louis is Harry's scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can't be all that difficult to convince Harry that they're on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

Give Me A Chance (orphan_account)

au. Louis gets bullied a lot. Harry's captain of the football team.

Your Name Is Tattooed On My Heart by mcpofife

Louis is ready to find the love of his life, but first he has to stop falling for the punk rocker next door.

You Got Time by bandshirtedboybanders

The thing is, Louis wasn’t meant to exist without Aaron. They’d grown up together and into each other. Forged together by pain and trials they were too young to deal with. Forged by love too of course, an absolute fuckton of the stuff. Melded together until they were two halves of a whole. Now, Louis just feels like half a person.

Or, the one where Louis' pretty sure he's already loved and lost his soulmate, and then he meets Harry.

Hold Me Closer by balanceds

Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the company's history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.

you are my favorite place by soleilouis

harry meets louis at a basketball game. he doesn’t know why everyone seems to think that they’re an item (aside from, maybe, the hundred paparazzi photos of them that come out the next morning).

No Bleeding Hearts by whoknows

“I’m going to come out,” Louis says abruptly. His grip on the controller is tight, knuckles whitening. He doesn’t look at Harry when he says it.

“What?” Harry says. Louis sucks in a breath through his teeth.

“When we re-negotiate our contracts. I’m going to come out.” Harry fumbles with the controller and manages to set it down on coffee table without cracking it in half.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Harry says. Louis is still pointedly not looking at him.

“I’m not having this argument with you again, Harry,” Louis tells him. He leans forward and deposits his own controller on the table beside Harry’s before standing up. “I’m gonna go to the hotel.”

didn't even know that love was bigger by imsosorry

"Do you know why I shave so often now?" Harry demands. He's talking so fast he's almost nearing normal human speed; Louis can barely keep up. "It's because I'm terrified you're going to kiss me and feel my stubble and panic. I'm afraid every time we make out that you're going to feel my dick through my pants and run off in the opposite direction. I'm changing myself for you, and that's not what relationships are supposed to be about - "

"When have I ever asked you to change for me?" Louis says. "I don't want you to do that. Christ, Haz, we've been doing this for six days, and I'm sorry if I'm not exactly caught up yet."

(Sequel to Not Ready to Lose Today. Or, the one where Louis and Harry get together and have to figure out how to get it right.)

And I've got something missing tonight. by whisperedbrave

That night, much like many others, he finishes his dinner and falls asleep to the sound of his neighbor and his piano.

-

or the one where Harry's upstairs neighbor plays the piano every night. one night he stops and Harry can't sleep.

Back to the Sign, and Play Through the End by tomlinsunshine

Louis is a globally renowned pianist; Harry is the worst page turner this world has ever known.

What is simple in the moonlight, never really is.

And then they're talking, like they always do on late nights. They talk about the future, about the cute girl who was checking Harry out at Tesco's, about the cute boy who asked for Louis' number the other day. They mostly end up talking about their auditions for the school of their dreams, though.

or

Louis plays piano and Harry plays guitar and they're both trying to get into Juilliard but feelings sort of happen.

glowing like the moon and burning like the sun by amemorymaze

"The soft glow from the winter sun is filtering it's way through the glass windows, bathing the boy in a blazing glow. Harry just lets a blinding smile light up his face because that’s the way he always sees Louis – smothered in light, shining and bursting from him, glowing like the moon and burning like the sun."

Where Harry has trouble sleeping and Louis (un)intentionally helps him.

You, Me, And These Piano Keys. by larrymylove

Louis Tomlinson is one of the most renowned concert pianists in the US. The piano is his one true love, his passion. He can’t imagine not enjoying what he does for a living. Until Harry Styles, the British popstar Louis loathes - with his curls and his tattoos - commissions Louis to play at his birthday party. Now all Louis can think about is how he just wants this to be over. And that Harry Styles is in drastic need of an attitude adjustment. And maybe - just maybe - Louis is the one to give it to him. Something I whipped up quickly because I wanted to get this idea out and work on my other fics soooo it's not the best. But it still makes me smile!

AKA: The one where Louis plays the piano, Harry is a brat, and Louis may or may not be falling in love.

I Don't Want A Lot For Christmas by taggiecb

The prompt: Harry can't go home this Christmas to see his family and he's kinda super sad about it. He's just not feeling the holidays this year, and the asshole who lives above him WILL NOT STOP PLAYING CHRISTMAS SONGS ON THE PIANO, seriously it is 2 in the morning and Harry has had enough.

It's set in New York city, but they are both British. There isn't a whole lot of anyone else in the story, mostly just the two of them.

Force of Nature by Holdmyhalo

Louis is a shy, young musician who doesn't want to go to Harvard.

Harry is a confident, second year athlete who likes to have a good time.

When their paths cross while their families are vacationing at the same lake resort, what begins as a summer of fun becomes a defining journey that might just change everything.

feels like home to me by tippytoetomlinstyles

“Please kiss me.” Louis breathes and Harry smiles. Louis closes his eyes and wraps his arms gently around Harry’s neck, pulling him closer. It’s Harry who seals the final distance between them and their lips touch.

If Louis were to write an essay on clichés, he’d write this. Kissing Harry is like kissing the sun. Harry is warm and full of light and even in the dark room he’s beaming brighter than anything Louis could ever imagine. Kissing Harry is like kissing a flower. He smells so lovely and he’s perfect and his lips are as soft and delicate as a flower petal. Kissing Harry gives him fireworks and white lights behind his eyes and he feels like a star exploding and becoming something new and brighter. Kissing Harry feels like home, and it’s scary and wonderful all at the same time.

or the one where Harry is the quarterback who wants to be a photographer, Louis is the piano prodigy who like being a wallflower, and it's a roller coaster of a life but they're along for the ride.

And I'll Be Here When Only the Silence Remains by louisniall

The one where Louis is a top notch mute violinist and Harry might just be the person he trusts most.

Will You Do Something? (orphan_account)

Louis needs a fake date. Harry may regret agreeing to help.

Based on the hidden-camera show What Would You Do?, which sets up fake scenarios in which the actors do something strange or inappropriate in a public place, in order to see how bystanders intervene or speak up. (It often, but not always, involves someone discriminating against a minority-group person, with both played by actors). In particular, this story is based on this humorous segment.

Now I've Got You In My Space by stylesforstiles

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson almost met on X-Factor

They meet on Dancing With The Stars instead

An Au

You're Either In Or You're Out by betheproof

Louis' tone is maybe a bit harsher than necessary, but he still stinging from the suggestion that he was staring at Harry. Sure, the way his legs are encased in those skinny jeans is mildly intriguing. But Louis is here to be the next Top Designer, and he'll be damned if he lets a pretty boy with a sinful mouth get in the way of his dream. Especially if that sinful mouth is spewing phrases like bohemian pantsuit. Honestly.

Or the one where Louis tries out for Project Runway, Harry is his stupidly gorgeous competitor, Liam is Tim Gunn, Zayn is the supermodel host, and Niall is the guest judge who knows nothing about fashion.

Put It All On Me by LoadedGunn

"Yeah, yeah, give it to me, that's it, spread your legs a bit, there you go."

The camera follows Louis as he does. Maybe if the modelling thing doesn't work out, he could try the porn industry. Then again, he's a bit too stocky to be twinky and a bit too twinky to be anything else. He likes that about himself, though. Well, directors and photographers like that about him. He could pull off pretty and edgy, could do GQ in the morning and a perfume commercial in the afternoon. Right now he thinks he could pull off anything, because it's Harry fucking Styles directing him.

Or, a Top Model AU where Louis is accidentally there to make friends, not become Britain's Next Top Model. (Also Zayn is the supermodel host.)

Big Brother will see you now by elbb87

Harry Styles is looking for love, Louis Tomlinson is looking for a decent wage and to figure himself out. When they both end up in the Big Brother house, Louis must face his fears head on. How will Louis handle the tasks and the eliminations each week and how the hell will he cope being locked in a house with the green eyed boy and 8 other total strangers for 8 weeks?

The Words I Sing by irishvelvet

Louis is enjoying his Hiatus when his management decides that it'd be best for him to be one of the coaches in the upcoming reality show, Next Big Star. He is tasked to find a prodigy he could train, but then he finds Harry. And Harry, he's just everything and so much more.

or

The fic where Louis is the coach, but Harry is the one who opens up his world. Featuring Harry and his extensive knowledge of song lyrics which he uses to flirt with Louis.

Chef-Mate by Roxygrl803

Harry agrees to be a celebrity chef on a cooking show. This year, the premise is a little different and the chefs are paired up with other celebrities including football player Louis Tomlinson

When We Were Younger by dinosaursmate

About a week after Harry started visiting this particular chat room, he was watching some kid argue with the whole room about football, personally disinterested as he tipped a bag of crisps into his mouth. He happily chomped on the crumbs, taking a swig from a glass of Ribena to wash them down, glancing at the screen and very nearly spat the squash back out again. His heart was pounding wildly. The display icon of the argumentative newcomer had caught his eye, and not in a good way. He gulped as he clicked the picture, and when it popped up in full resolution, his heart nearly fell right out of his arse. - Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

Spirit to a Dove by alienharry

For as long as it’s been on the air, Harry’s been an avid watcher of Trivialities. He’s always imagined what it’d be like to compete on the show himself, and when the opportunity arises, he’s fast tracked to join the new cast for the show’s eighth season.

Alliances are formed, strategies are planned, and Harry finds himself with his very own nemesis. Between trivia and physical challenges, Harry’s making the most of his time in the house, but nothing could’ve prepared him for Louis Tomlinson.

Rise To The Top by LarryUniverse

No more excuses came around when Louis saw the auditions for next season's of Britain's Next Top Model. Facing high expectations for his first choice modelling career, he is lead with his 15 opponents in a battle for the crown. Only with an open heart like his, he falls head over heels for a contestant, against the rules and could lead to possible failure of his future career.

or the au where Louis auditions to be in britain's next time model and he falls in love with harry while on the tv show but that's against the rules but who cares.

Midnight Memories by If I Could Fly_ (ifIcouldfly_hs)

Louis Tomlinson moved to London a week ago and is desperate to not spend New Year's Eve all alone at some dive bar. So, he swipes left a bunch until he lands on a boy with emerald eyes and chocolate curls.

Harry Styles is yet again, the fifth wheel among his friends. They force him to download some stupid dating app, even though online dating is completely the opposite of how he wants to find "the one".

OR

The one where Harry and Louis match on Tinder and realize they're soulmates.

I'll be flicking stones at your window, I'll be waiting outside 'til you're ready to go by rockdatbody

Soulmates AU where you can't see colours until you meet your soulmate.

Harry never thought he would find his while performing on stage in front of thousands of people but hey, things happen.

Drawn to You by lululawrence

It had started with Louis getting in trouble for coloring on himself when he hadn’t touched a felt tip pen the entire day. Through the years, the random drawings had evolved and changed. There was a period in sixth form when his soulmate must have gotten shy or something, because the drawings only happened after school hours and in places that others wouldn’t be as likely to see. The inside of his bicep, his thigh. A couple times he even had drawings appear on his ribcage. While he didn’t mind those few years, he did seem somewhat soothed when they began to appear on his left arm again. He’d missed them.

Or that completely self indulgent soulmates au that plays out in not always romantic ways.

Deep Within The Mystery of Your Eyes (I Am Home At Last) by patdkitten

It's a world where you discover your soulmate after skin contact and finding your world exploding in colour. Louis has been blind his entire life. He makes do quite well, thank you very much, and he's glad that he doesn't have to see colours fade in and out of his world. Harry trains disability dogs, and, during a chance meeting with Louis at a local market, he discovers that Louis' his soulmate. He comes up with a wild scheme - train his current dog to be the perfect dog for Louis - in order to keep Louis in his life, and maybe convince him they're soulmates.

string theory by graceana

au. louis buzzes with something and glows with another.

The last few players are trickling off the bus when Louis looks down at his hands to see that he is pretty simply put, glowing gold,” Aww what the fuck is this shit. Is it that noticeable?” He whines, doesn’t even make a big deal out of it like it’s a normal thing that should be happening right now.

aka. a cliche soulmatey-fate thing.

Veni, Vidi, Amavi by FallingLikeThis

“Do you think it’s true?” Louis asks.“That soulmates really exist?” “Of course they do,” Harry’s answer is immediate. He catches Louis’ wrist and brings his hand to his lips, pressing a kiss into his palm before placing it over his own heart. “I already found mine.” Louis smiles. “Does that mean that you’ll love me forever?” He asks, whispering against his lips. “Even in the afterlife?” “Perhaps,” Harry grins slyly, nudging their noses together lightly and teasing Louis with a brush of his lips before pulling away again. They haven’t said those words yet, though Louis must know. Harry tells him in every single other possible way. “I wouldn’t even go to the afterlife without you.” “You’d stay with me? Haunt me?” He asks, wrapping a hand around the back of Harry’s neck, tangling his fingers in Harry’s hair. “I’d stay,” he agrees. “I’d wait for you forever.” “Promise?” Louis asks coyly, moving to straddle Harry’s lap. “I promise,” Harry answers, pulling Louis to him so that they can finally share that kiss.

*

Harry remembers why he stayed now, why he’s always had that feeling of waiting. He was holding out for Louis, his soulmate. He was keeping his promise.

Your Name Tattooed In An (Arrow) Heart by warmcuppatea

Harry always believed in love.

He was raised to believe in it, raised to love just the idea of love. He lived in a house full of girls - so no one could blame him for daydreaming about the day, the hour, the moment that his heart would be filled, that he would fall helplessly in love with The One.

(or, the story in which everyone has a soulmate, and a heart on their wrist signifies if they've met them. and harry's dying for a soulmate when all his friends already have their own.)

More Than Anything by LycorisLife

Being able to see through the eyes of your soulmate may seem like a dream come true to many, but reality proves a little more complicated. For two young boys it's all they could ever wish for but as time passes by they come to realise that there's no pain quite the same as longing to have someone who just isn’t there.

Oh How I Hate This Red String Of Fate by CalamityK

Harry thought being able to see people’s strings die would be the worst thing about his gift, until at twenty-two he finally met the other end of his own. --------- Or that soulmate AU where Harry can see the red strings of fate that tie everyone together.

it's you i find like a ghost in my mind by magneticwave

In a serious, like, fit of cosmic irony, the name on the inside of Louis’ wrist is HARRY.

Nothing's Gonna Stop Me But Divine Intervention by kikikryslee

“So… what’s next on the soul mate search?” Louis asked. “I don’t know,” Harry answered. “Whatever I’m doing isn’t working. I’m not finding him anywhere.” “He’ll get here. I know it." “Yeah. I know he’s out there somewhere; I just have to figure out where.” --- Or, the soul mate AU where Harry overthinks everything having to do with finding the love of his life, and Louis doesn't think there's a Mr. Right for him at all. It takes them a while to realize that their soul mate is the person they want it to be: each other.

You Know Sometimes Words Have Two Meanings by alienharry

"... Two souls are sometimes created together and in love before they're born." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Harry and Louis navigate the universe.

[kittykatknits]

What are some positive commonalities b/w Sansa and Ned? (I am kind of sick of seeing only negative traits of Sansa in character parallels meta/gifsets) Thanks!

Hmm…dunno that I’ve ever seen gifsets comparing the two now that I think about it. Went looking but couldn’t find them. My tumblr skills are awful so this isn’t a surprise tho…

I wrote this post about the two of them in GoT which helps set up why their similarities are so often missed. The two have the same story and make many of the same decisions, but Sansa is introduced into the narrative in a much more negative way. I mean, Ned is set up as the One True Hero in the first book. The result is that Sansa kinda ends up being Ned’s “fall guy” for lack of a better term. Sometimes, I think this conditions the reader to not notice their similarities. 

I’d also add that some of what is perceived as “negative” by the fandom, isn’t. At least not always, it depends on context and framing. 

So, here is a partial, but by no means exhaustive or complete list of similarities between the two of them.

They both share the same philosophy about lying:

A lie is not so bad if it is kindly meant.  

-Sansa I, aFfC.

That’s Sansa thinking of what LF is feeding her but she later employs this same thought with SR. They share the same belief that a lie is OK if it brings comfort to others. It’s something they both do and it comes from their shared empathy for other people. It’s why Ned tells his sister that Robert would be a good man and true. He’s trying to comfort her. He does the same with Robert at the end, he gives a lie of omission about his “children” and then gives another variant of a lie:

For a moment he was at a loss. He could not bring himself to lie. Then he remembered the bastards: little Barra at her mother’s breast, Mya in the Vale, Gendry at his forge, and all the others. “I shall … guard your children as if they were my own,” he said slowly

-Edward XIII, GoT

Both are trying to comfort and help someone else. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. 

They employ the same coping mechanisms when it comes to trauma. Both of them avoid dealing with it and the accompanying painful memories. They will both also rewrite their memories. Most famously, we have the unkiss, followed by Sansa’s transfer of responsibility for the Trident onto Arya/Mycah. However, this is one of those characteristics that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 

First, it’s very clear that Ned is still dealing with a lot of pain and is still heavily traumatized by RR and surrounding events. He lost his brother, father, and sister in a short period of time with Benjen going off to the wall. He saw the bodies of dead children placed by the throne, had his life threatened, and would have seen the aftermath of the sack of KL. It’s very clear all of it still haunts him, even so many years later. The way Lyanna creeps into his thoughts is very similar to the way Sansa’s family does in hers. It’s there but it is so painful, Ned actively tries not to think on it. 

It’s a coping mechanism and it’s one Sansa desperately needs at several points in the story. Her chapters, especially in aCoK and SoS, have a very “in the moment” feel to them. She’s very centered in the present and devotes large amounts of mental energy to planning what to say, how to respond, anticipating the words/actions of others, and so on. It means she doesn’t let her thoughts linger on anything too painful. 

They both rewrote the Trident incident as well. Ned transferred all of the responsibility for it it on to Cersei, even though it was Robert that ultimately gave the order for Lady to be killed. 

The thing is, Sansa’s ability to do this is what helped her to survive. Long term, she will need to confront much of what she saw/witnessed. While a captive, not necessarily so and not always and not right away. The context on when she employs it matters. Ned never confronted any of this while Sansa still has the opportunity to do so. She did it with Joffrey but we are still waiting on LF.

Sansa’s courtesy armor is really only a different flavor of Ned’s lords face. The lords face is the persona Ned wears in his professional capacity. It’s the public version of Ned but inside his head we see the real him. He’s a very kind and emphatic man who feels deeply. Outside, he can come off as cold and reserved. Sansa explicitly tells us courtesy is a lady’s armor. She hides behind it and uses this armor in public, to protect herself and navigate the world around her. We get in her head and, like Ned, it’s very different than what she shows everyone else.

Their wants and desires are the same. Ned is a LP and Sansa is expecting she will be a queen. However, Ned was the second son and never expected to have any of it. Sansa’s desire to be queen isn’t about power, it’s about family and a husband who loves her. Ned really leaves us with the sense he would be perfectly content to spend the rest of his life inside the walls of WF, with his children around him, and Cat in his arms every night. That’s Sansa’s dream too. Compare that to Bran who wants to be a knight and a member of the KG or Arya.

Both are deeply emphatic. Let’s look at Sansa’s behavior and understanding of the Hound. After he tells her about his burns, she responds that his brother was no true knight. He’s pretty awful to her at multiple points but she continuously looks for the best in him and understands what drives much of his actions. Compare her relationship to Sandor with Arya’s, for example. It’s the same with Ned and Cersei. Ned isn’t angry with her, rather he puts himself in her place and tries to understand. 

Both are internal and can refuse to act until absolutely needed. Compare Ned after Robert’s death. LF and Renly both came to him and said to act but he waited until Cersei summoned him. Sansa tends to do the same thing. 

They are both idealistic and look for the good in people. Sometimes, I see them called naive which is kinda an incomplete way of looking at things. Yes, Sansa starts out as naive in the first book, but considering her life experiences at that point, it is to be expected. Ned does place his trust in the wrong people (LF and Cersei) but he also makes a point to know his people and looks for the good in them. It’s part of what inspires the loyalty in people back north. Also, remember Davos’ visit to the Sisters? I love this story:

That was when Stark said, ‘In this world only winter is certain. We may lose our heads, it’s true … but what if we prevail?’ My father sent him on his way with his head still on his shoulders. 'If you lose,’ he told Lord Eddard, 'you were never here.’ “

- Davos I, aDwD.

Here, Ned put his trust in Lord Godric’s father and chose to see the best. It payed off for him. Sansa does the same, she sees the best in people, she sees the world as it should be (to borrow from Cinderella). So, in Westeros, with years of war and the ice apocalypse coming, it seems to me that a person who sees the best and who sees what is possible is ideally suited to be in a leadership position afterwards. Sansa is not only the type of person who can rebuild, she can make it better.

Lastly, we have one of Sansa’s best lines in the entire series:

"I will remember, Your Grace,” said Sansa, though she had always heard that love was a surer route to the people’s loyalty than fear. If I am ever a queen, I’ll make them love me.

- Sansa IV, aCoK

Where do we think that came from? That’s Ned and his approach to ruling right there. Ned, who inspired love and loyalty from his people because he gave it back. He invited someone different to sit with him at supper every night. He took the time to visit the mountain clans. He dispensed his own justice. He made his people fight for “The Ned’s little girl.” Sansa adopts that same approach during the Blackwater with the ladies she tries to comfort. It’s the same approach to ruling we see her starting to use in the Vale. Look at the servants in the Eyrie. 

And here is one thing that really stands out with this style of governance. Robb and Jon both think on Ned’s teaching and try to adopt them. Sansa never does, it’s all unconscious.

Hopefully this answered your question some anon!! Thank you for the ask!!!

[cristixntm]

𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭  𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧.

[ XAVIER SERRANO / POLYTROPOS / CAERUS / MUSE 36 ] / [ CRISTIANO MONTERO ] is a [ TWENTY-ONE ] year old [ BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION ] major. [ HE ] is known for being [ CHARMING & CLEVER ] but [ INSOUCIANT & INSENSITIVE ].  when i think of them, i imagine [ A CHEEKY WINK FROM ACROSS THE BAR, LATE NIGHT ‘U UP?’ TEXTS, THE CLENCH OF A JAW BEHIND A COCKY SMIRK, RICH BOYS DON’T HAVE HEARTS ]. and even though they’re a proud HU student now, we all have our roots. theirs run back to them being a [ MHP ( AQUA ) ] graduate.  i asked around and it turns out they [ AREN’T ] an AOP student. in their interview, they managed to woo the admissions team by [ PRESENTING A FIVE-FIGURE INVESTMENT PORTFOLIO THAT WAS STARTED FROM $10 ]. i guess that’s all there is to know! unless…

howdy hey frands! i’m jocey ( 24, she/her, est ) & this is my trash son, cristian. not me reusing an old intro and still getting this up late……. mmYEP luv that for me! if you would like to plot, hit that like button & i’ll come your way or feel free to hmu on discord ( jocey#9154 ).

full name : cristiano javier montero de barra nickname : mostly goes by cristian age : twenty-one sexuality : heterosexual hometown : madrid, spain / los angeles, california high school : marble hill prep ( aqua house ) HU house : polytropos major : business administration extracurriculars : eleusinian circle ( legacy ), soccer ( centre forward )

cristian is the second and youngest born to javier montero and alisa de barra. his dad is the CEO of montero properties, the developer behind many big name casinos and resorts around the world, while his mom is an actress who starred in several spanish telenovelas and hollywood films.

originating from spain, the montero family had always been a familiar face in the media, with both cristian and his older sister having large followings on social media. the montero’s had a reputation for living extravagantly and lavishly, and often flaunted their 1% status.

out of the whole family, arguably the one with the most controversial reputation was cristian — one of the heirs to the montero fortune, fuckboy extraordinaire with an impressively long list of ex lovers, and all around entitled trust fund brat ( whEW hate that!! ). taking full advantage of his family name, he was always seen at the exclusive events and partying, even hooking up, with some well-known names.

but with the family name also came the expectation to be the picture perfect son and the responsibility to carry on the family legacy. unfortunately, parents never quite get exactly what they hoped for from their children, do they?

if there’s one thing you should know about cristian is that he will never do anything if he felt forced into it. his parents learned early on that hiring a good PR team and shipping their son off to a boarding school ( marble hill prep ) was easier than forcing him to behave. the fact that cristian’s dad was a MHP and HU alum and the montero’s family were big donors might have helped to keep him from getting expelled on one or two occasions.

still, to some extent, cristian did the bare minimum just to keep his parents off his back and his bank account essentially bottomless. he got good grades ( whether it was completely based on his own merits was a different story ), showed up to important events ( granted he was always drunk and late ), and charmed the pants off of interviewers and his admirers ( sometimes quite literally ).

attending hatchett unversity was just another thing that he did to keep his trust fund ( or so he says ). and who was he to turn down the good ol’ college experience? it was also the perfect way to keep his side business ( read: drug ring ) going.

running a boarding school turned college drug ring was never exactly something he’d planned on doing. like with most things in cristian’s life, the opportunity sort of just fell into his lap and he decided to run with it. call it a bored rich kid thing, but there was just something about earning his own cash in such a risky way that made it that much sweeter.

while those who know cristian may be aware of his connection to this drug ring, most assume that he’s just dealing and/or using his rich boi connections to bring in customers. only a select few know that he’s actually the brains behind the surprisingly well thought-out operation, and he prefers to keep it that way.

cavalier fuckboy with a heart of gold… ( underneath a shit ton of asshole layers, that is ) basically summed up cristian. he always puts out this very lazy, devil-may-care image of himself, and acts like someone who could not give two shits about anyone other than himself. call him a selfish asshole and he’d probably agree with you. but when it comes to his closest friends, the ones he considered to be his real family, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for them.

most write cristian off as this spoiled, reckless and directionless loose cannon, who maybe had one braincell on a good day. but underneath it all, he’s a lot smarter and more calculating than many people give him credit for and believe it or not, actually does think things through. but he believed that expectations just led to disappointment, so it was better to not have anyone expect anything of you. hence the perfected facade he’s kept up for as long as he could remember.

he is, however, not so smart when it comes to his love life and is notoriously bad at juggling his booty calls. as in, getting all their names mixed up, and running into a booty call number three, who he’d ghosted, when he was with booty call number five. but then again… could it all just be an act to get out of any and all potential relationships? who knows?

WANTED CONNECTIONS. most connections are open to multiple people filling it, unless it’s crossed out. and ofc i’m always open to any ideas not listed here!

RICH BOI SQUAD ━  they’re those guys. the popular, rowdy bros who are always seen together, they throw the best parties and cause a bunch of mayhem together. honestly just a bunch of obnoxious alpha dudes who think they’re hot shit.  taken by kennedy king

#1 SINCE DAY 1  ━  cristian’s best bro since the beginning of time ( or close enough ), who’s been there through all of his constant shenanigans and wild times.  taken by felix könig

BEST GAL PAL  ━  probably one of the few girls cristian’s managed to not try to hook-up with, or constantly flirt with. someone who helps him remember the names of all the girls he’s hooked up with plz lol. it’s rare that he’s protective over someone, but he’d absolutely throw hands for her if needed.  taken by caroline fitzgerald

CONFIDANT  ━  someone who actually knows cristian very well and sees through his lazy rich boy act. one of the very few people who he’s completely opened up to and genuinely cares about not fucking up their friendship.  taken by florence trask

MOM FRIEND  ━  basically a mama bear who looks out for cristian and may be one of the few people he actually listens to. doubles as his moral conscience/good influence when he wants to do dumb rich boy things.  taken by giada vitale

PSEUDO SIBLING  ━  they have a sibling-like relationship, where he’ll annoy them sometimes and they mom friend him. but they’re always looking out for each other.  taken by odette könig

CHILDHOOD FRIEND  ━  someone he grew up with. they could still be friends to this day, maybe they grew apart, or maybe they never really clicked.

UNLIKELY FRIEND  ━  the last person you’d expect to be friends with cristian. possibly met during a school project or something, and they realized that he’s… actually… not that bad?? despite what everyone says about him and his reputation, y/m sees that he’s not really as big of an asshole as he comes off and is actually kind of tolerable one on one. kind of.  taken by dorian garcia

FAVOURITE ANNOYANCE  ━  they got on cristian’s nerves at first, but eventually, they grew on them. whether he admits it or not, they do have some kind of friendship and deep down, he does enjoy their company.  taken by astrid mae

DEALERS  ━  basically dealers who work for cristian, who is the supplier. he may seem like a clueless hot mess, but rest assured, he takes care of his own. as long as that loyalty is returned.  taken by felix könig

ON & OFF  ━  cristian has had a lot of flings and hook-ups, but this person has been the one constant in his life. their “relationship” ( if you can call it that ) is kinda messy because he ( and maybe she as well? ) won’t commit, but is also surprisingly chill.

HOOK-UPS / FWBS  ━  whether you like cristian or not, people can’t really deny that he’s good-looking rip. he’s known to have a bit of a roster of girls that he hits with those late night booty-calls/texts.  taken by diana radcliffe

PAST HOOK-UPS / FWBS / ONE NIGHT STANDS  ━  homeboy has been around the block and back more times than he can count on two hands, so he’s definitely got a long list of ex-luvas. especially ones who hate him cuz he’s the worst™.  taken by isadora banks, daphne moon

ENEMIES  ━  cristian’s the kind of guy who easily has a lot of people who don’t like him. he practically has no filter, so his big mouth and careless words are bound to rub some people the wrong way. or maybe he screwed y/m over to save his own ass.  taken by belinda torres, camille jung

[andytgerm]

Oscar Picks! Get Your Fresh Unique Oscar Picks Here!

TI did good this year! In terms of preparation, I mean. These picks are probably godawful, a losing combination of switching between going with my gut or my heart or my head. But, I have seen all but THREE of the nominated films (2 animated, 1 foreign language), which is, I think, very good for someone with no connections for screener access. Also, I thought it was, on the whole, a good group of nominees, in that I only wanted to die while watching, like, 3 of the movies.

So, without further ado, my mostly informed picks for tonight!

Best picture: “Arrival” “Fences” “Hacksaw Ridge” “Hell or High Water” “Hidden Figures” “La La Land” “Lion” “Manchester by the Sea” “Moonlight”

La La Land has been “controversial” since more than festival-goers saw it because it’s been the front runner for so long. But it will surprise few to learn that I think it’s great! Deeply considered and moving, and with thematic depth, plus the kind of razzmatazz I’m a complete sucker for. Frankly, I don’t see a ton of differences between it and, say, Mad Max: Fury Road in terms of craft and skill displayed, but it’s been dinged because the perception is that it is light and unserious and a rip-off or what-have-you. Or too jazzy, or maybe the wrong kind of jazzy? Anyway, it’s definitely winning, and in a line-up with only 2.5 movies I didn’t as least think were “mostly good” (Hacksaw is pretty bad, Lion is meh-nipulative, and Hidden Figures is a little obvious, but otherwise I like ‘em all!), I’m not really mad about it and probably would vote for it because it appeals to my taste so specifically.

Will Win: La La Land Should Win: La La Land Dark Horse: Moonlight

Lead actor: Casey Affleck, “Manchester by the Sea” Andrew Garfield, “Hacksaw Ridge” Ryan Gosling, “La La Land,” Viggo Mortensen, “Captain Fantastic” Denzel Washington, “Fences”

The most high profile competitive race, despite it being one of the weaker categories this year. The battle of the narratives is strong here, and I wonder if it’s been overblown a little bit. BUT, the competitor is who I would pick, so I’m going to lean into hope and go in that direction. Garfield is nominated for the wrong movie (you didn’t see Silence, but he was great), and he’s kind of a cartoon in Hacksaw with his VERY broad accent. Gosling’s charming, but the center of the so-called “backlash” against LLL with his jazz love. Captain Fantastic is a bad movie that buys into Viggo’s characters world-view too much to be anything but self-indulgent claptrap and also has no support anywhere else. Affleck’s got the momentum and a great performance, but Washington’s got the monologues. Both playing frustrating characters, one for talking so much without doing enough listening, the other for not communicating at all. My vote goes to the excellent August Wilson interpretation, again, due to personal taste leanings.

Will Win: Denzel Washington Should Win: Denzel Washington Dark Horse Smart Pick: Casey Affleck

Lead actress: Isabelle Huppert, “Elle” Ruth Negga, “Loving” Natalie Portman, “Jackie” Emma Stone, “La La Land” Meryl Streep, “Florence Foster Jenkins”

GREAT category. God, so many great female lead performances this year. My personal pick is probably the sadly un-nominated Annette Benning in 20th Century Woman, who is so subtle and great and does some of the best “watching and listening” acting you’ll ever see. But Ruth Negga probably takes the subtle and unshowy slot, and she’s terrific too, so I can’t complain too much. Given this choice selection, I’d go for the probable winner, because, seriously, Emma Stone is charming and funny and deep and complicated in La La Land, plus she gets to do a big 11 o’clock number. Huppert’s probably the potential upset, she’s got momentum and gets to do a LOT of different unusual things in Elle. Portman never seemed to reach full potential, but she’s a strong center in Jackie once you get used to the big choices and latch on to the movie’s wavelength. Streep Streeps it up and does all the things you love.

Will Win: Emma Stone Should Win: Annette Benning Emma Stone Dark Horse: Isabelle Huppert

Supporting actor: Mahershala Ali, “Moonlight” Jeff Bridges, “Hell or High Water” Lucas Hedges, “Manchester by the Sea” Dev Patel, “Lion” Michael Shannon, “Nocturnal Animals”

Another strong category, though the Shannon nomination for that nothingburger of a movie is regrettable (he’s at least the CORRECT supporting actor to go with). Bridges is great, turning on a dime when The Big Dramatic Thing happens at the end of that terrific movie, having kept you laughing the whole way to that moment. Patel’s fine, but his section of the movie does not fulfill the potential suggested by in the first part. Mahershala Ali is another great watching and listening performance, and his raw and simple connection with Little, especially in the scene where he explains what “faggot” means to him, is so delicately beautiful. Hedges, though, is unexpected and confounding in the best way. His character is trying his best to make the best of a bad situation, giving his all, even though he’s not grown up enough to have that be enough all the time. It’s a terrific honest and unexpected portrait of grief in a movie full of contrasting pictures, and I’m really excited to see what he does next.

Will Win: Mahershala Ali Should Win: Lucas Hedges Dark Horse: Jeff Bridges

Supporting actress: Viola Davis, “Fences” Naomie Harris, “Moonlight” Nicole Kidman, “Lion” Octavia Spencer, “Hidden Figures” Michelle Williams, “Manchester by the Sea”

Octavia would not be my Hidden Figures pick (how about that Janelle Monae, huh?) but she does have that killer line in that great scene with Kirsten Dunst. Kidman I sadly found forgettable (but check out Big Little Lies on HBO, you guys). Naomie Harris gets the most recognizable/predictable arc in Moonlight, but she sells the hell out of it. And doing it in three days!? That’s incredible. Michelle has the big scene that’s the closest we get to catharsis in Manchester, and is maybe doing the best job of “Supporting” in a way that many of these other performances aren’t. But holy hell does Viola deliver everything you would want her to in that part. I have no beef with her placement here, and she gives great watching/listening, great monologuing, and has the best scene of the movie (that night time phone call) centered on her. Gosh it’ll be great to see her win.

Will Win: Viola Davis Should Win: Viola Davis Dark Horse: Michelle Williams, I guess, but c’mon.

Best director: “La La Land,” Damien Chazelle “Hacksaw Ridge,” Mel Gibson “Moonlight,” Barry Jenkins “Manchester by the Sea,” Kenneth Lonergan “Arrival,” Denis Villeneuve

Oh, hey, I haven’t had the chance to say anything about it yet, but Arrival is really great and full of ideas and feelings, and to see it nominated here is great! But this is a Jenkins/Chazelle race, and La La Land fever is definitely strong within the Academy.

Will Win: Damien Chazelle Should Win: Really, I’d be glad do see anyone but Gibson, but I guess I’d go with Denis Villeneuve in the interest of spreading the wealth? Dark Horse: Barry Jenkins

Animated feature: “Kubo and the Two Strings,” Travis Knight and Arianne Sutner “Moana,” John Musker, Ron Clements and Osnat Shurer “My Life as a Zucchini,” Claude Barras and Max Karli “The Red Turtle,” Michael Dudok de Wit and Toshio Suzuki “Zootopia,” Byron Howard, Rich Moore and Clark Spencer

This is one of my “I haven’t seen them all categories” which is too bad because I like seeing animated films a bunch, but Zucchini and Red Turtle have not made it to my neck of the woods yet. I liked Zootopia a lot, though I found its second half less engaging on second viewing, and I think the villain is telegraphed a bit too heavily. But that beginning, and getting to know the world, plus its thematic depth will make it a worthy winner. Kubo is GREAT and fun and moving, perhaps a bit let down by its vocal cast, but otherwise gives you everything you could want in an animated film. But Moana is a Disney musical, and if you haven’t figured it out already, I’m a sucker for those (they make me cry just by, like, structure? Like, opening establishing musical numbers emotionally move me to tears just because they exist?). And it’s one that doesn’t forget it’s a musical halfway through.

Will Win: Zootopia Should Win: Moana Dark Horse: Kubo and the Two Strings

Animated short: “Blind Vaysha,” Theodore Ushev “Borrowed Time,” Andrew Coats and Lou Hamou-Lhadj “Pear Cider and Cigarettes,” Robert Valley and Cara Speller “Pearl,” Patrick Osborne “Piper,” Alan Barillaro and Marc Sondheimer

This crop was just ok this year, I thought, though seeking out the shorts is always one of my favorite parts of Oscar season. Borrowed Time was my surprise favorite, and is heftier than you think it’s going to be. Pear Cider is... a lot, and not always in a good way, but the style is good. Blind Vaysha’s a bit much, but has got a great Caroline Dhavernas voice-over. Piper’s level of detail is jaw-dropping. And Pearl’s got tech innovations and well-calibrated sentimentality, so that gives it the edge for me.

Will Win: Pearl Should Win: Borrowed Time Dark Horse: Piper

Adapted screenplay: “Arrival,” Eric Heisserer “Fences,” August Wilson “Hidden Figures,” Allison Schroeder and Theodore Melfi “Lion,” Luke Davies “Moonlight,” Barry Jenkins; Story by Tarell Alvin McCraney

I mean, am I gonna not give a theoretical award to August Wilson? Well, predictions-wise, yes, but god that script is so deep and fascinating. This is an easy area for them to recognize the great achievement of Moonlight, and it is certainly a win I can get behind, three well-told connected stories is no easy feat.

Will Win: Moonlight Should Win: Fences Dark Horse: Arrival

Original screenplay: “20th Century Women,” Mike Mills “Hell or High Water,” Taylor Sheridan “La La Land,” Damien Chazelle “The Lobster,” Yorgos Lanthimos, Efthimis Filippou “Manchester by the Sea,” Kenneth Lonergan

20th Century Women! That’s a hell of a script, and it moves so beautifully and delicately. What a wonder of a miracle that movie is! The Lobster is prickly and the dialogue is very mannered, but the conceptual originality is undeniable. Hell or High Water has a lot more on its mind than you go in expecting, and was a huge surprise favorite for me, with some terrific duet scenes (Pine and his kid! Pine and Bridges!) and wonderful cameo sized characters (Texans with guns! Waitresses!). In hopes of a “spread the wealth” mentality, I’m predicting Manchester, though, as it’s not favored much elsewhere, and it certainly is written with depth and insight.

Will Win: Manchester by the Sea Should Win: 20th Century Women Dark Horse Smart Pick: La La Land

Cinematography: “Arrival,” Bradford Young “La La Land,” Linus Sandgren “Lion,” Greig Fraser “Moonlight,” James Laxton “Silence,” Rodrigo Prieto

These are all great!

Will Win: La La Land Should Win: Moonlight Dark Horse: Moonlight

Best documentary feature: “13th,” Ava DuVernay, Spencer Averick and Howard Barish “Fire at Sea,” Gianfranco Rosi and Donatella Palermo “I Am Not Your Negro,” Raoul Peck, Remi Grellety and Hebert Peck “Life, Animated,” Roger Ross Williams and Julie Goldman “O.J.: Made in America,” Ezra Edelman and Caroline Waterlow

Many of these are also great! And the three that are centered on the African American experience are a nice trilogy together. But, c’mon, OJ is a TV miniseries.

Will Win: O.J.: Made in America Should Win: I Am Not Your Negro Dark Horse: 13th

Best documentary short subject: “4.1 Miles,” Daphne Matziaraki “Extremis,” Dan Krauss “Joe’s Violin,” Kahane Cooperman and Raphaela Neihausen “Watani: My Homeland,” Marcel Mettelsiefen and Stephen Ellis “The White Helmets,” Orlando von Einsiedel and Joanna Natasegara

Boy, this is an emotional killer of a category. After seeing all 5 in one night on the big screen, I tweeted “Saw all the Oscar doc shorts tonight, and they were crushing, but if seeing all of any 1 category would make one a better person, that's it.“ and I stand by that. Illuminating and tough, a great group of shorts.

Will Win: The White Helmets Should Win: Watani: My Homeland Dark Horse: Extremis

Best live action short film: “Ennemis Interieurs,” Selim Azzazi “La Femme et le TGV,” Timo von Gunten and Giacun Caduff “Silent Nights,” Aske Bang and Kim Magnusson “Sing,” Kristof Deak and Anna Udvardy “Timecode,” Juanjo Gimenez

This was definitely the weakest shorts category. I enthusiastically liked one of them (Sing) and thought another one was fun (Timecode), but the rest I found inaccessible (Ennemis Interieurs) or verging on sappy (La Femme/Silent Nights). My cynical self thought Silent Nights (sentimental, but deals with Important Social Issues) would win the moment I saw it, though I have heard of no one who is a fan. Still gonna guess it, so I can be pleasantly surprised when it loses.

Will Win: Silent Nights Should Win: Sing Dark Horse: Ennemis Interiurs

Best foreign language film: “A Man Called Ove,” Sweden “Land of Mine,” Denmark “Tanna,” Australia “The Salesman,” Iran “Toni Erdmann,” Germany

I was blown away and cannot stop thinking about The Salesman. That movies got staying power, plus it received extra attention with the awful Travel Ban, so that makes it an easy prediction. I haven’t seen Land of Mine. Tanna was pretty and simple and unique, but didn’t really hold together upon reflection. Ove is pitched right to the older sentimental voter, and I guess it’s a pretty ok version of that story. Toni Erdmann’s got the cool film fan vote, and it had like 3 of my deepest, most gut-busting laughs of the crop, but it took a long time for me to get on board with it.

Will Win: The Salesman Should Win: The Salesman Dark Horse: Toni Erdmann

Film editing: “Arrival,” Joe Walker “Hacksaw Ridge,” John Gilbert “Hell or High Water,” Jake Roberts “La La Land,” Tom Cross “Moonlight,” Nat Sanders and Joi McMillon

Another easy area for La La Land to rack up a sweep, and it’s certainly got rhythm and pizzazz going for it. Moonlight’s got some terrific wordless sequences though, and can hold a long shot with the best of them.

Will Win: La La Land Should Win: Moonlight Dark Horse: Moonlight

Sound editing: “Arrival,” Sylvain Bellemare “Deep Water Horizon,” Wylie Stateman and Renee Tondelli “Hacksaw Ridge,” Robert Mackenzie and Andy Wright “La La Land,” Ai-Ling Lee and Mildred Iatrou Morgan “Sully,” Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman

Arrival made up all those alien noises, which were really essential to you buying into the movie. Deepwater Horizon was a better watch than I expected, and it certainly explores all the different ways an oil rig can blow up with sound. Sully’s got those birds. Don’t forget the birds. But this is a big war movie category, and the most high profile one of the night will *sigh* probably win here.

Will Win: Hacksaw Ridge Should Win: Arrival Dark Horse: La La Land (sweeps can be powerful, you guys)

Sound mixing: “Arrival,” Bernard Gariepy Strobl and Claude La Haye “Hacksaw Ridge,” Kevin O’Connell, Andy Wright, Robert Mackenzie and Peter Grace “La La Land,” Andy Nelson, Ai-Ling Lee and Steve A. Morrow “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” David Parker, Christopher Scarabosio and Stuart Wilson “13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi,” Gary Summers, Jeffrey J. Haboush and Mac Ruth

I watched Michael Bay’s Benghazi movie and all I got was vague credibility when predicting this lousy Oscars category (it was bad). Musicals do well here, though I think La La Land is weaker than many think here because a lot of folks complain that they couldn’t understand the lyrics (I thought the mixing was fine, but they maybe should have chosen singers with more powerful voices?).

Will Win: La La Land Should Win: Arrival Dark Horse: Hacksaw Ridge

Production design: “Arrival,” Patrice Vermette, Paul Hotte “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” Stuart Craig, Anna Pinnock “Hail, Caesar!,” Jess Gonchor, Nancy Haigh “La La Land,” David Wasco, Sandy Reynolds-Wasco “Passengers,” Guy Hendrix Dyas, Gene Serdena

Sweepin’ gonna sweep. How bout Hail, Caesar!, tho?

Will Win: La La Land Should Win: Hail, Caesar! Dark Horse: Arrival

Original score: “Jackie,” Mica Levi “La La Land,” Justin Hurwitz “Lion,” Dustin O’Halloran and Hauschka “Moonlight,” Nicholas Britell “Passengers,” Thomas Newman

Original musical! I’ve been humming and feeling the great instrumental themes form La La Land since I saw it.

Will Win: La La Land Should Win: La La Land Dark Horse: Jackie

Original song: “Audition (The Fools Who Dream),” “La La Land” — Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” “Trolls” — Music and Lyric by Justin Timberlake, Max Martin and Karl Johan Schuster “City of Stars,” “La La Land” — Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul “The Empty Chair,” “Jim: The James Foley Story” — Music and Lyric by J. Ralph and Sting “How Far I’ll Go,” “Moana” — Music and Lyric by Lin-Manuel Miranda

This is a heartbreaker category, where is Popstar? Where is Swiss Army Man? Where is Sing Street? Why those La La Land songs? I’ve gotta go with my sort-of Twitter buddy Lin Manuel Miranda (he followed me for a little while, OK? Get off my back!), even if he’s many not who most are predicting. Plus, if Pasek and Paul lap him and EGOT in a year, I’ll be pissed at how rude that is.

Will Win: “How Far I’ll Go” Should Win: “How Far I’ll Go” (really for the second reprise, but it’s good at first too!) Dark Horse: “City of Stars” (though Audition is better, and Someone in the Crowd’s the best song in the movie)

Makeup and hair: “A Man Called Ove,” Eva von Bahr and Love Larson “Star Trek Beyond,” Joel Harlow and Richard Alonzo “Suicide Squad,” Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini and Christopher Nelson

Realistic old person makeup is hard to bet against, and I really don’t want to live in the Oscar Winner Suicide Squad world. Star Trek’s got really good work in this category, too, though.

Will Win: A Man Called Ove Should Win: Star Trek Beyond Dark Horse: Star Trek Beyond

Costume design: “Allied,” Joanna Johnston “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” Colleen Atwood “Florence Foster Jenkins,” Consolata Boyle “Jackie,” Madeline Fontaine “La La Land,” Mary Zophres

This is far from my best/most knowledgable category, but I’ll be happy if contemporary memorable designs from La La Land get it as expected.

Will Win: La La Land Should Win: La La Land Dark Horse: Jackie

Visual effects: “Deepwater Horizon,” Craig Hammack, Jason Snell, Jason Billington and Burt Dalton “Doctor Strange,” Stephane Ceretti, Richard Bluff, Vincent Cirelli and Paul Corbould “The Jungle Book,” Robert Legato, Adam Valdez, Andrew R. Jones and Dan Lemmon “Kubo and the Two Strings,” Steve Emerson, Oliver Jones, Brian McLean and Brad Schiff “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” John Knoll, Mohen Leo, Hal Hickel and Neil Corbould

Did you see all those animals in the Jungle Book? And the note at the end about how it was filmed in California? That was really cool. Doctor Strange was great fun in this area too. But Kubo had a special features real showcasing this work during the credits, so it moves up in the running for me.

Will Win: The Jungle Book Should Win: The Jungle Book Dark Horse: Kubo and the Two Strings

[smoothshift]

The Ford Barra Engine. via /r/cars

The Ford Barra Engine.

Pick your favourite Inline 6 Cylinder engine

Nissan RB26? Toyota 2JZ? BMW anything?

None of those are good enough.

Dont get me wrong, those engines are awesome, and the RB and 2J are brilliant engines, and for the time were WELL ahead of anything else, but they aren't good enough No Son, allow me to introduce you to probably the greatest, and least well known Straight 6 engine ever. Its not Japanese, Its not European, its not even American. - Its Australian.

Here is the story of:

The Ford Barra.

First off, Yes, modern day Ford made an engine that wasn't an economy engine or a V8. Crazy! The Ford Barra (short for Barramundi) is a 4 Liter (244 ci) Straight 6 engine, with Dual Overhead Cams, 4 Valves per Cylinder, with a Bore of 92.26 mm (3.6 in) and a Stroke of 99.31 mm (3.9 in), that in "XR6" guise revs out to about 7000RPM, It features a Cast Iron Block and an Alloy head.

Starting life in 2002, the Barra powered, predominantly, the Ford Falcon, A 4 door family car, built in Australia and sold only in Australia and New Zealand. This engine had literally dozens of configurations for basically every kind of situation. Situations like: being the family car, being a taxi - in fact most of the Taxi's in Australia from 2002-2010ish were Ford Falcons that were fed LPG (Liquefied Petroleum Gas) and even being a bona-fide sports car engines in the "XR6" variants of the Falcon, Hell, they even put a Barra into the Ford Territory, a god damn SUV! The Barra made different levels of power, depending on what engine and car it was; the LPG powered Barras only made ~209HP, where the family car versions made ~250-260 HP depending on the year. As time went on, improvements were made to the engine, not to any of the block metal mind you, but to the software, head design, and bolt on parts. All this while remaining Bulletproof, its not uncommon to see Barra powered Falcons pass 200-300-400,000 Kilometers (124,000 - 248,000 Miles) with minimal maintenance, in fact I know a guy who hardly bothered to get a service on his car once a year, and it ran into 400,000km.

But the Barra's destiny was soon to come. Enter The XR6 Turbo. Different Pistons and Con-rods were fitted into The Barra for this Falcon, and a large turbocharger was added, pushing out 322Hp in its first iteration, but as the years went on, the final iteration of the Turbocharged Barra, pushed out ~436HP form a fully factory engine, with a sizable warranty AND retaining its bulletproof reliability from the other, naturally aspirated iterations.

Alright, so its a 400HP straight six, Why is it so special? Ahh my friend, you've forgotten about the holy grail of Engine Mods - Reliable can make power.

So, you have a damn near indestructible engine AND a turbo, what do you do? Turn up the boost.

The Recipe:

Intake Manifold, Intercooler, Turbo, Oil Pump Gears, Valve Springs, Injectors, Headstuds and an ECU tune.

Those few mods, take your 300Hp XR6 Turbo, to a 600HP XR6 Turbo.

That's still staying with stock internals, stock Block, Stock Crank, Stock Pistons, Stock Rods.

Some guys are pushing 700HP fully stock internal, but it appears that ford's internals are the limitation past that.

What if you were to fully build a Barra? How does 1600-2000HP sound? Currently, as far as I can tell, Whichcar. com reports that a 1600HP Barra powered Ford Falcon is running an 8.18 Second Quarter Mile, at 171 mph. Now, while its technically a legal street car.... that's a fully built drag car, but i use it here to show the potential of the engine.

That said. Ford made only 1 casting for the Barra, and made them all day every day. So, the Barra Block out of your gas powered taxi, or mums Territory could be modded up to 600Hp with relative ease, and over 1000HP with full engine builds. At the time, the Ford Falcon was one of the BEST SELLING CARS IN AUSTRALIA, with literally Hundreds of thousands of Barra powered cars sold: Taxis, Family cars, Rental cars, Fleet cars, Government cars - you name it, it was probably a Ford Falcon (or a Holden Commodore), The Ford Falcon is everywhere, and the Barra engine powers most of them in one way or another, so access to new engines is very easy and very cheap, so they're not in limited supply like the RB26 and 2JZ are, Wreckers are letting go of barra engines for under $500 and due to their larger displacement they can make more power easily, and due to the Barra being a similar size to the RB or 2J blocks, they fit in a LOT of different chassis.

There are literally hundreds of videos online showing off the Ford Barra's might on YouTube, go watch those if you wanna learn more, I'm no expert by far, I'm just a nerd.

Barra The World

[proteportainternational]

The 10 Best & Worst of Automotive Tech in 2018

Because there's too much going on to wait for December.

We love Top 10 lists, but it's the 10 Worst lists that really get our hearts pumping. A lot of automotive "journalists" pull their punches so as not to endanger those sweet, sweet junkets. I don't have that problem. I was blacklisted years ago by just about everyone. Am I too honest? Maybe. Too unpredictable? Probably. But I say you can't trust someone who hasn't said something negative about someone. If everything was great, cars wouldn't need warranties. If software-based tech functioned as promised, I wouldn't have a column.

Here's my list of the 10 Best & Worst in Automotive Technology in 2018. Feel free to disagree.

10. Most Embarrassing New Mobility Strategy Implosion

Cadillac Book. WTF is going on at GM? With $1B invested in Cruise Automation to develop self-driving Chevy Bolts, you'd think CEO Mary Barra would have the nerve to support Cadillac's Book subscription service until it found its feet. But no, they pulled the plug just under two years since launch. What went wrong? Was it the pricing, which started at $1500, then rose to $1800? The marketing? NYC as the first market? The wonky Book app? The departure of Melody Lee, who really seemed to get it? The concept itself? Rivals like Volvo, BMW, Mercedes, and Porsche who have recently launched competing services should take notice. An unlimited PR budget ≠ profits, let alone cash flow.

9. Most Disappointing Technology from a Car Company We Love

Volvo Pilot Assist. I love Volvo, and so should you. Every new Volvo is so cool, they make their malaise era cars cool too. I would drive one in a heartbeat. The look. The feel. Who doesn't love clean design? The Nordic school really gets it. Polestar? Awesome. But there's a problem. Volvo — the original car brand built on safety — isn't leading on driver assistance systems, otherwise known as ADAS. Volvo's ADAS suite is called Pilot Assist. The Automatic Emergency Braking is good. The lane keeping, display, and transition warnings? Not so much. What's going on? Volvo should own this. Instead, Tesla leads on lane keeping and Cadillac on safety and driver monitoring. Come on Volvo, you can do better.

8. Best Tech From a Company that Needs Better Management

Cadillac SuperCruise. Where Volvo is falling short, Cadillac is killing it on driver assistance. I remember when people made fun of GM for failing to deploy SuperCruise, which marinated in R&D for years before Tesla released Autopilot in late 2015. But one drive in a SuperCruise-equipped CT6 made it clear: GM's R&D had done its job not only correctly, but brilliantly. SuperCruise includes Seeing Machines' driver monitoring system (DMS) — an infrared camera pointed at the driver — solving Tesla's biggest omission, and adds a class-leading, steering wheel mounted mode indicator. So what's Cadillac's problem? GM management. SuperCruise should have been an option on everyCadillac two years ago, if not every GM vehicle. Why isn't it? Because GM's attention and money is being showered on their self-driving division Cruise Automation, whose cars will only see limited deployment next year, maybe. SuperCruise is GM's killer tech, and every day they don't deploy it they're squandering their lead. Come on, GM.

7. The How-Not-To-Market-Your-Cars Trophy

BMW. I'm a BMW guy. Always have been. But Klaus Fröhlich, BMW development chief and board member, sure does make it hard. When asked about the E46 CSL being "the last real 3 series," he replied "I do no want to hear that shit any more." But it gets worse. Fröhlich's words are a noose: "First thing and this is for me the most important thing; you can drive fast and completely relaxed. You don't feel how fast you are." When it comes to driving, feedback is everything. That means feeling. Who doesn't want to know how fast they're going? Passengers. Who wants to feel how fast they're going? People buying The Ultimate Driving Machine. Fröhlich is the wrong man, in the wrong job, saying the wrong things. Let him retire.

6. Best Electric Vehicle On The Market Today

Tesla Model S. Yeah, yeah. Everyone wants to talk about the Model 3. Do I love it? Sure. But the Model S—the original premium EV that invented the segment and woke up an industry—is better than ever. Six years and countless invisible hardware and software updates later, it's still light years ahead of everyone else for EV and driver assistance tech. Cadillac's SuperCruise equipped CT6 still runs on gas, and the upcoming Porsche Taycan's ADAS suite is unlikely to touch Tesla Autopilot. By why the S over the Model 3? You can get a great used S for the price of a loaded Model 3 Performance, and the S is quieter, more comfortable, has more storage, rides better, has a better sounding stereo, has a traditional dashboard, a bigger/better GPS display, and Tesla's killer situational awareness display. I'd take a base S over a 3 any day. I recommend getting a Model S now, before Tesla swaps out the interior for the 3's, and loses what makes human driving an S something special.

5. Best Autonomy Car On The Market Today

Any Jeep. Forget autonomous cars. We want autonomy cars, as in cars that increase our freedom. What is autonomy anyway? It's liberation from boundaries, which are the only thing the self-driving lobby can promise. As I said in my recent op-ed Autonomous Cars? We Want Autonomy Cars, "get in a prepped Jeep with some jerrycans and you've got more autonomy than most of the humans ever born." A vehicle that can go anywhere, anytime is what people really want. If it can drive itself part of the time, great. Who cares how safe it is if it actually limits where you can go, because you're no longer allowed to own a car with a steering wheel? I'm all for safety, but not at the expense of human autonomy. Would you like to know more? Follow the Human Driving Association and read our manifesto.

4. Dumbest Use Of The Word "Autonomous"

David Pogue. Beware anyone called an expert, especially a technology expert, and especially a technology expert writing about cars. The latest outrage? "Tech critic" David Pogue's article "What it's like to use Tesla's newest self-driving car technology" is PR journalism at its penultimate, surpassed only by the garbage from the Tesla shills at Electrek. It's impossible to know if Pogue actually drove the car. He claims to own one, but there's no evidence in the article that he does. He gets so much wrong—from language to functionality—it would be better for his reputation if he didn't. There's so much to pillory here I'm going to devote an entire article to Pogue's article, so let's move on.

3. Worst YouTuber Most Likely To Inspire Self-Driving Apocalypse

Alex Choi. When the self-driving lobby gets moving on trying to ban human driving, there'll be no shortage of videos they can present to a Senate hearing demonstrating why. At the top of the list? Youtuber Alex Choi, who nearly kills a passing motorcyclist on Mulholland Highway while... being Alex Choi. As the founder of the Human Driving Association, I'll be the first to say there are people who shouldn't be driving. It's a privilege, not a right. And people like Choi are unlikely to keep it in the future. If you believe in freedom, Choi is one of those who should shunned, because he's not on our side.

2. Worst Performance From A Car Company Executive, Part 2

BMW's Klaus Fröhlich is just the gift that keeps on giving. My friends in Munich need to muzzle this guy or fire him. Every time I see his name, he is hurting BMW's brand. The latest outrage? This story: Electric Cars Will Always Be More Expensive Than Gas Cars—in which he says exactly what you think he did. If he's right, what is accomplished? Nothing...except he sounds like someone who doesn't understand EVs at all. Tesla has shown that EVs don't need to be cheaper than ICE to sell and that people will pay UP from ICE to own a Tesla, but not necessarily other EVs. Not that BMW would know or understand that, since their EV strategy is dead on arrival no matter what happens, at least for the next few years, during which the Porsche Taycan will do what BMW failed to. And if Fröhlich is wrong—and EVs do eventually become cheaper than ICE—he was just another legacy industry exec who missed the boat. FYI, when cars were invented, they were more expensive than horses. But people still preferred cars. Products don't exist in a vacuum, and big company execs should understand that better than Fröhlich.

1. Most Despicable Fansite For A Major Car Company

Electrek. For those who don't give a s**t about Tesla, consider yourself lucky, for you've been spared exposure to one of the most toxic of modern media outlets, the news/fansite Electrek, whose existence is an intellectual and moral blight on those who like the cars, or believe in the vision. Helmed by bald-faced shill Frederic Lambert, Electrek will spin any story to make Tesla—in which Lambert is admittedly long—look good. Lambert never met a fact he wouldn't omit, or clickbait headline he wouldn't run if he could get $TSLA a little higher for the day. Lambert's history is well documented here and here, but the most bizarro chapter in the Electrek saga happened when Lambert turned against Musk for dropping the price of the Model 3 Performance by $4000...two months after Lambert bought one. Lambert got dismantled by his own fans for his hypocrisy, then again by long-time critics, then he doubled down, then reversed himself again to get back in Musk's good graces. To call Lambert a whore is an insult to those who chose sex work because they lack a better alternative. Lambert has a choice, and always chooses the low road. Lambert is the gift that keeps on taking, a bad actor in a show he doesn't understand, occupying a secondary role anyone could, if only they were willing to work for less than the perks of living off the star's discarded script. There are a lot of reasons to root for Tesla, but there is one big reason to pray for their failure, and that's to prevent people like Lambert from being financially rewarded for lowering the informational bar and gutting ethics. If you think I'm being harsh, you're wrong. I LOVE Tesla. Not because I'm blind to their failures, but despite them.

What else might attract my love or ire in 2018? We'll find in two months.

News The Drive

Acess www.proteporta.com.br

[allofbeercom]

Fun and Games – the inside track on Rio de Janeiro

Five insiders reveal how to run with the locals in the Olympics host city a spectacular tropical metropolis with great beaches, music, views and food

If the Olympic movement is having a hard time of it, consider the year the host city is having. In the build-up to the 2016 Games, Brazil is sinking under a tickertape parade of bad news. Given stories of polluted water, gang and police violence, an economy in freefall, the Zika virus, terror attacks and a president impeached, the reports of unfinished infrastructure for the Games almost pale into insignificance.

The Rio de Janeiro area

Lovely Rio, its easy to imagine, might just think twice given the chance to bid for the Olympics again. And yet, despite everything, the metropolis remains arguably the most beautiful city in the Americas, if not the world: whatever might happen in the sporting arenas, the Olympics has never had a backdrop as stunning as this.

The view over Rio from the Vista Chinesa. Photograph: Alamy

And despite all their worries, most cariocas, as Rios residents are known, are proud of their amazing city. As they prepare to welcome half a million visitors to the Games, we asked five insiders to talk us through the best of their tropical seaside home.

Eating out

Rafael Costa e Silva, chef-proprietor at Lasai, one of the citys five Michelin-starred restaurants

Rafael Costa e Silva Photograph: Claire Rigby

So Paulo has more options than Rio in terms of cuisine, but we outshine them when it comes to avant garde, contemporary local food. As well as Lasai, we have Olympe, owned by the chef who pioneered the fusion of Brazilian and French cuisines; Roberta Sudbrack, with a bistro feel and sophisticated, eight-course tasting menu. Also Oro, which reopened in Leblon recently, is extremely creative.

Were closed on Sundays and Mondays, so those are the nights we can get out to eat. For special occasions, we love Olympe; but we often go to Azumi (on Facebook), a Japanese restaurant in Copacabana. The broths, the udon and the soba there are great (12-21).

Bar Urca looks out over Guanabara Bay.

Bar Urca is a Rio classic highly recommended for visitors. The food isnt the greatest, but you go there for the ambience to meet friends and drink beer sitting on the wall outside, looking out over Guanabara Bay.

Theres a restaurant in Centro, the old commercial heart of Rio, where I dont go as often as Id like, but that I love Escondidinho (on Facebook). My dad used to go when he was young, I go there sometimes, and probably my son will go too. Its a traditional lunchtime restaurant going since the 1940s and known for its beef ribs in broth, with fried cassava and watercress (32, serves two or more). The meat starts to fall off the bone before youve even picked up your knife and fork.

We have a culture of botecos, classic neighbourhood bars where you grab a beer and a snack say a pastel (a small meat or cheese pie) or a coxinha (chicken-and-cassava fritter). Theres a great one in Praa da Bandeira (in north Rio, very near the Maracan stadium, which will stage the Games opening ceremony) called Aconchego Carioca that does all our national dishes and snacks very well indeed.

Aconchego Carioca in Praa da Bandeira

A more rustic, classic boteco is Bar da Gema in Andara. They do fried polenta with oxtail stew on top (10), and you eat it with your hands. Its amazing. They also serve pastel de feijo gordo (1.50), little pies filled with feijoada black-bean stew, our national dish. They are so good I could eat about 10 of them.

Brazil isnt so strong on street food, but the Saturday morning farmers market in Jardim Botnico, on Rua Frei Leandro, opposite Olympe restaurant, does a great tapioca, a kind of cassava pancake. It serves up a version with cheese, tomato, onions and oregano, using a cheese called queijo minas meia-cura, whichmelts perfectly when it hits the griddle.

Bars and nightlife

Alice Guedes, bartender at Brigites, a bistro in Leblon. She has twice finished in the top 10 in Brazils best bartender competition

Alice Guedes at Brigites. Photograph: Claire Rigby

Musically, Rio is incredibly rich its often music that gets people out at night. Monday is outdoor samba night at Pedra do Sal, in Largo Joo da Baiana, 10 minutes walk from the new Museum of Tomorrow (which is definitely worth a visit). Musicians go straight there to play after they get off work, from about 7pm. They play old-school, very traditional samba. Take a taxi if you dont know this area.

Samba dancers at Pedra do Sal. Photograph: Mario Tama/Getty Images

And on Wednesday nights at Praa Tiradentes theres a jazz scene in the middle of the square, just people hanging out and playing and listening to jazz. Its free. They just turn up and start playing, and if you get there at about 9pm, its generally in full swing. Cariocas are experts at making something happen out of nothing.

Praa So Salvador in Laranjeiras is another one: on Friday nights, the square gets packed with hundreds of people getting together in the open air, and guys selling beer from ice boxes. Everyone loves it.

Mixing is a kind of speakeasy in Rio Comprido, between Centro and Tijuca. During the day its a school of mixology, but on certain nights it transforms into a bar. Youd never guess it was there from the outside you go through a garage, up some stairs and along a corridor and there it is.

Traditionally, Rio has always been about caipirinhas and chope (light draft beer) but theres a growing cocktail culture. The challenge for Rio bartenders is to convince cariocas to go for drier, more complex drinks as they tend to veer towards sweetness. Bar DHotel, inside Marina All-Suites, has one of the best drinks menus in Rio; another is the new Bar Astor inside the Astor hotel, on the Ipanema seafront. Theyve brought high-level So Paulo-style mixology to Rio, which I love.

In Rio, music on the street is enough to get the party started. Photograph: Felipe Dana/AP

The new Atlntico Rio de Janeiro in Barra da Tijuca is one of the most Rio-spirited bars I can think of, though its owner isnt even Brazilian. Tato Giovannoni came from Buenos Aires, where he owns the bar Floreria Atlntico, and just did something different created a really good beach bar with amazing cocktails and fresh seafood.

He makes a dry martini with a tincture of sea salt, right there on the beach, and serves oysters at about 1 each. Theyre also doing a pop-up bar during the Olympics, at Clubhouse Rio.

For me, the best saideira (nightcap) is at Galeto Sats , open till late in Copacabana. Lots of bartenders and chefs go there after work for beer and grilled chicken. Its a tiny, old-fashioned joint where people spill on to the pavement. My order is a shot of good cachaa and a plate of grilled chicken hearts.

History and culture

Luiza Mello, art producer, Automatica, which produces the annual art event Travessias in the Complexo da Mar favela in north Rio

Luiza Mello. Photograph: Claire Rigby

A place I love to take visitors is Instituto Moreira Salles. Its a wonderful example of modernist Brazilian architecture, with gardens by Roberto Burle Marx and a beautiful panel by Cndido Portinari, facing the pond. It was once the home of a very wealthy family, but today its a cultural institution with an impeccable programme they hold great exhibitions, plus theres a photo collection, a music collection and a photography magazine.

Parque Lage is always good another very beautiful place, home to the EAV School of Visual Arts, with an interesting gallery in the former stables, called Galeria das Cavalarias.

Young people contemplate leaping into the sea by the Museum of Tomorrow Photograph: Alamy

Culturally, Rios downtown area, Centro, just gets more and more interesting. There is a great area around Praa XV, with art galleries, cinema and theatre in the Centro Cultural Banco do Brasil ; the former imperial palace Pao Imperial, which is one of the citys most historic buildings and now a cultural centre; and the Casa Frana-Brasil, a contemporary art space in Rios oldest neoclassical building. The Candelria and Carmo churches are also both worth seeing.

An exhibition by veteran Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama at the Centro Cultural Banco do Brasil. Photograph: Yasuyoshi Chiba/AFP/Getty Images

Centro has another cultural hub now: Porto Maravilha, Rios regenerated port district, with the MAR Museum of Art and theMuseum of Tomorrow. Close to that but less well-known is Cais do Valongo, the archaeological site of Rios former shipping wharf, where hundreds of thousands of the slaves brought to Brazil came ashore. Theres also the Galeria dos Pretos Novos, an art gallery, and part of a memorial complex on the site of an ancient slave cemetery.

Pao Imperial on the Praca Quinze de Novembro. Photograph: Alamy

Pedra do Sal is another historic site in the area, where there was once a quilombo, a community of former slaves and their descendants. Its just behind the MAR, and a very interesting place to visit.

Beaches and nature

Nicole Casares, blogger, Cariocando no Rio. She runs tours of some of her favourite places, booked via her site

Nicole Casares at Parque Lage. Photograph: Camila Neves

Rio is full of quiet spots from which to observe the citys curves, the contours of the hills and the green vegetation against the ocean. There are lovely parks, such as Parque Lage and the Jardim Botnico, and even the gigantic tropical rainforest, Floresta da Tijuca invades the city limits. Or just being in the sea is a peaceful experience.

Palm tree avenue at the Jardim Botnico Photograph: Alamy

If you only go to one beach, Id recommend Ipanema, at Posto 10 (postos are the beaches demarcation points and come every kilometre). Its one of the safest parts of the beach, and it attracts a lot of young, cool people. Theres a good place just across the road for lunch called Balada Mix, with great sandwiches and juices, including aai. Arpoador, a headland between Copacabana and Ipanema, is special too you have to see it at sunset, when people climb on to the rocks to look right down Ipanema beach to the sun setting behind the Dois Irmos peaks.

Surfers on Prainha beach, Barra da Tijuca. Photograph: Alamy

I also like the long beaches to the west: at Barra da Tijuca and also Praia da Joatinga, where the water is a beautiful green colour and there are no crowds. To reach it, you follow a steep trail down on to the sand. Some of Rios very best beaches are even further west, on the very edge of the city, like Praia do Secreto and Prainha.

Because of all the mountains dotted around, Rio must have the most spectacular views of any city in the world. My all-time favourite view is from Mirante Dona Marta. Its breathtaking you can see Sugarloaf Mountain below, with the sea all around it, the boats in Botafogo harbour and all the way across Guanabara Bay to Niteri. And in the other direction you can see Christ the Redeemer close up.

Rio must have the most spectacular views of any city in the world. This view is of Sao Conrado beach and the Rocinha favela. Photograph: Alamy

This unique topography means you can also hike and climb within the city. Of Rios best-known hikes, Dois Irmos is light to moderate, about 45 minutes climb from the top of Vidigal favela (which is safe to visit). You can take a van to the foot of the trail, or a motorbike taxi. Or inside Parque Nacional da Tijuca, Pedra Bonita is a nice, easy walk, about 40-45 minutes. Its steep, but if you take it slowly, its fine, and the view are similar to those from the top of Pedra da Gvea, which is a far harder climb.

One of my favourite, lesser-known trails is the Trilha do Morro da Babilnia. Its really easy only 30 or 40 minutes and has great views of Praia Vermelha beach and Po de Aucar. You start at Ladeira Ary Barroso in Leme, and walk up into Chapu Mangueira favela. Guides from Coop Babilnia, a residents cooperative, will take you up the trail for about 14. Its best to go early in the day, and make sure to be out of the community before evening.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/fun-and-games-the-inside-track-on-rio-de-janeiro/

[maybeishouldretire-blog]

How mixed feelings became my main emotion after turning 25

Turning 25, a lot of things started happening to me, or, well, from me. First I started thinking about the future in a consistent racional way - the 30s are not that far anymore babe - and I saw myself staring at families in restaurants and actually think now babies are kinda cute. Besides, I was for the first time in a looong time single and away from my family and friends. It all happened because I graduated in University, didn't have a steady job and had broken up a relationship from 4 years - so I was a mess and didn't know what to do with myself.

I went to Madrid to start a Masters. As I have a Portuguese citizenship, its pretty easy for me to stay in Europe, I just need a job. Having that in mind, when i jumped on the plane to Spain I was absolutely sure I wasn't going to come back any time soon. That was probably the last time I was 100% sure about something. And I was wrong.

After that, I started considering making plans and tracing objectives in a way to try to reach my 30s the way I desired. Well, turns out  I don't even know what ¨the way I desire¨ means anymore.

Since you are a kid, everybody asks you what do you want to be when you grow up, and we are always so sure, even when we have no idea. Then you go to college and see yourself only wanting to get drunk with your friends and have unprotected sex but having to make literally life decisions. How can I choose what to do for the rest of my life if I can't even decide between the red or the black cropped top? But when you are 18 you simply don't care that you don't know, cause you still have a lot of time to find out in the way. ¨Not with 25, though¨. Thats the scariest voice in my mind.

So back to my story, I was living for 7 months in Madrid when I went to Rio spend the Carnival. It was the first time I felt the ¨mixed feelings¨ experience really loud inside me. I explain: I was really excited to be with all my loved ones, missing them - but at the same time identity less. I wasn't feeling like a Brazilian anymore, but nonetheless Spanish. I was eager to go, but at the same time already wanted to go back to my privacy, room, stuff. I was in an existencial limbo between what I had left behind and what I was trying to build for me without knowing if it would ever be consistent or just temporary (cause I hadn't decided if I was going back or not. I still didn't).

Back in Rio, I felt sure I was not the same. Going to my parents house felt like a nightmare way bigger that I had imagined. All of the sudden their lifestyle wasn't compatible with mine - the condos, the cars, the fences, the neighborhood - everything felt like a ridiculous attempt to ensure social status - while I was going on the other way - reading about queer theories and paying 5 cents for a plastic bag every time I would go to the market.

So yeah, I was having mixed feelings about my parents. I sure loved them, but until what level? Can affection really overcome different points of view? When your ideals are everything you have left to stuck to, what can you put up with when you see everything that you have become in opposition with what you had and were?

And then the mixed feelings about my friends. Just to contextualize, I grew in a Miami wannabe like neighborhood, except for the fact that Rio de Janeiro is a really unequal city. So I was used to going in and out closed condos, not walking in the streets (what streets? We only have big boulevards in Barra) and meeting my friends in shopping malls. Studied in a priest school. Remembering and writing this seems like a script for a bad adolescent drama movie, which I think could suit very well my teenage years.

So, meeting my friends was really frustrating. I heard from a colleague that lived many years abroad that coming back feels like a hangover. You live so many things, meet so many people, change so much, and then you go back and everybody and everything is still the same. I never felt more disconnected to the place and people I used to know, but still loved them so much. I didnt wanna talk about Kim Kardashian or how would I look like with a nose done, but at the same time didnt wanna seem like a ¨straight outta Soviet Union¨ type of girl, mumbling about our politicians and marxist theories.

Mixed feelings.

After that trip, the ¨mixed feelings¨ experience took over my life for good - I wasn't able anymore to feel completely happy or sad about anything - except when Im in Panorama Bar dancing  after taking some illicit substances - and it even got to the point where I cry and laugh at the same time - I start crying for some reason and laugh at myself for being so miserable or ridiculous. Now I always seem to have this distant, non personal and a little cynic reaction about everyone and everything. Digging into myself to find out why, I get to the (possible) conclusion that I am disenchanted about life and its paths. It does not matter if you try rationally to build your way - life swaps you and turns you around anytime, anywhere. You can TRY to seem like you have control of it - but its just an illusion. You see the tip of the existentialism abyss here?

About the future, I know, we all have anxiety, specially us Millennials, who are proven now to be the first generation that will not outgrow our parents wealth and maybe never be able to buy an apartment. I do get mixed feelings about my anxiety, too, one day loving the fact that I still have free time to write things like this article, and another hating myself for not having started working when I was 21 and still depend on my parents to have a roof over my head. And oh, I have anxiety about having mixed feelings.

So maybe this is just a Millennial way to react to our sour social reality of ¨surelessness¨. How can we feel something for real if we don't even know what is real anymore? Ill stop this text here cause its already causing me too much mixed feelings, I don’t know where  my point is. Fuck.