#;; so why bother trying for better because she knows what happens if she fails and it gets worse

[uzumakichcined]

"You're NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME. I don't condone anything liek that that my village has done! I don't care if its your people doing it to mine or our people doing it to others INNOCENTS ARE INNOCENTS." Naruto spat.

"I'm not erasing out history I accept it. It I was erasing it I'd call you a liar and crazy because my village could never be capable of such things- but I'm NOT. I'm telling you I'm going to change it. I'm not going to stand here and tell you all the things I've done. What would it matter? You're angry and not listening and I get it I do, you have the right to be angry- I'm angry about what happened to you too."

"Every village teaches you to put your squad, your comrades first. Its that bond that makes sure everyone comes back from missions. We're taught to respect the mission and the team first. Maybe you're right. Maybe I should have helped you. Maybe I was too focused on the goal ahead. I get it. Next time I'll assess the situation differently."

Fists clench at his side, his tone somewhere between angry and self aware.

"You ask what about you? I tried to be your friend. I would have invited you back, helped you find a place to live. Helped you start a life, but you wouldn't accept that invitation would you? And then you'd blame it on me that you didn't get any of those things. You're what Pervy Sage calls a self fulfilling prophecy. You're angry so you just keep making choices that give you the reason to stay angry. You don't want help. You can't blame that on anyone else but yourself."

Naruto was angry too, but at least he had put in the effort to change his reality, from what he saw Karin wasn't willing to do the same. She wanted to stay bitter and angry. If he had learned anything from his Sasuke chase? It was that you can't help people that don't want it. You can't reach people that don't want to be reached.

"But you're WRONG. I won't give up. I WON'T EVER GIVE UP. I DON'T CARE HOW HARD IT IS. THATS MY NINDO THATS MY NINJA WAY. A year? FIVE? I DON'T CARE I'LL BE HOKAGE AND THEN ILL FIX ALL OF THIS AND YOU KNOW WHAT KARIN??"

His eyes hold that Uzumaki fire as he stares her down.

"If you need a place to stay you come look me up because I'll STILL try to help you."

" What would it matter? WHAT WOULD IT MATTER?! " She's now fully screaming straining her voice, tears piled at the sides of her eyes as she desperately tries to keep a grip on herself. " You MADE ME substantiate my claims about Lord Orochimaru. You DEMANDED I tell you and teach you about your own damn clan's tragedy. The SECOND you are held to the same standard you RUN LIKE A COWARD and use that Bijuu's Chakra to intimidate me to back off?! Don't think I didn't feel that, it's chakra smells horrid on you. I had to explain so much so you would LISTEN and now I have to be told I'm not entitled to answers?! That I don't get to understand because of why? Because I'm upset I had to reopen wounds your village caused?! "

Already her breath was starting to rapidly increase to the point of borderline hyperventilation. Everything was coming back, everything she had gone through, her skin felt horrid, her fingers twitched in a desire to scratch at it, every shadow of a mark that was left by another man's teeth. All of it felt disgusting, her skin, her flesh, every muscle, she wanted to be ill in this moment but knew she couldn't. Not here, it wasn't safe here that much was clear.

" Not every village is like your own. I'd have died in Kusagakure. My team didn't care about me. Only Sasuke had bothered to save my life in the Forest of Death, and Lord Orochimaru gave me more than I could ever have wanted. It's nice to know what you would have done, but it's too late. You talk about change this, and change that. . . but what does that mean? Change isn't always for the better. "

Staring back up at him, her eyes were unfocused, struggling to stay staring at once place as she attempted to regain her breath. Hands trembling, and twitching, eyes struggling to not dart away, and even her body language had changed that despite her words she was terrified. Karin was scared after everything; he was going to hurt her. This wasn't the first time someone had lured her in with lies of kindness only to bite her. She'd known too well how vague concepts of change, niceness, and fairness were that they couldn't be trusted.

" You're right. I don't need your help, I don't need your friends, or even a family like you. . . because Lord Orochimaru and everyone there has been and always will be a better family than what you could ever give me. This, " Karin gestured to the two of them, " only proves it. " Turning on her heel, she would start to walk away too shaken and mentally exhausted to keep going.

[r3starttt]

SHOW ME HOW

Read this or DNI

virgin!reader x ellie williams

SUMMARY: you thought the love you felt for ellie was in a platonic way, but maybe deep inside you the answer was already there, just waiting for it to be revealed, in a dream that Ellie is willing to help you with.

CW: smut, virginity loss, pet names (pretty girl, babe, baby, good girl), first kiss, corruption, thigh riding.

It’s been aproximately ten years since you first met her, Ellie Williams, your best friend and the person your whole family adores probably as much as they adore you. The only one that knows everything about you, the one that brings your true self, the one that’s seen almost everything.

You’ve been friends since forever, best friends. The type to have sleepovers, to hug and hold hands, cuddle and be all the time together, do everything together. And of course people said things and thought things about it, about how close you were and how best friends don’t to that, but the answer you two gave was always “we’re like family” and it was credible, enough.

It wasn’t a lie though, or so you thought since it was her idea to give the answer. She’d come up with most of the plans, most responses, most of everything. Not because you never suggested anything but because she’s way more stubborn than you are and there’s no way she let you take the big decisions, there’s also no way at all that she takes no as a response and you’re the biggest people pleaser she’s ever known.

And again, it’s been years of friendship, years of seeing each other in all type of ways for many different reasons. Years of what seemed like endless nights of talking nonstop, or days even. Months when there was no school or job or anything to do but be with each other all the time unless Ellie had plans with other girls “friends” that she’ll end up bragging about later. So you knew everything about each other, you’d tell everything detailed, you trusted each other.

And she’d always assure you that everything she did with or for you was for the better, same applied for her, in different ways of course. She’s never been problematic or mean or anything like that, but she was the one to make you smoke and drink for the first time in your life. And you, you only made her listen to your boring music for hours or have the cute and boring plans as she calls them. But at the end of the day, is all fair, you both do what’s best for each other based on your different needs.

That’s why you love her so much, and until this week you’ve thought it was pure platonic love, the one that you feel for your family, and she’s family. But she changed everything, everyone said it’ll eventually happen, and you always, always prayed to god that It didn’t, you failed.

Ellie spoke for hours about this new girl she’d just met, something casual as usual, but apparently it stocked to you because later that day you had a dream about it. And it doesn’t really bother you to have a dream like that, not even because she’s in it, because it doesn’t mean anything right? But it felt too good and too real to forget or ignore or let go. And the more you think about it, the more you keep feeling like it might actually mean something.

Because she was in fact hot, attractive in all possible ways, and she’s not just hot but also pretty, delicate in her way. She’s smart and sweet and knows you incredibly good, and she’s always supportive. And she shows she cares about you, even when she’s all awkward and shy about it she’d do anything to let you know she cares about you as much as you care about her.

And there’s nothing else that you love more than that, and now probably nobody else that can make you feel it, you won’t let anyone else try to fill that space. It’s just not the same even if you tried. It’s not Ellie.

So now that you’re currently at her house in her bed, cuddling, you’ve been thinking about this while situation, how to address it without being awkward for you and without being too explicit as well.

She doesn’t mind it, she knows you’ve had thoughts like this about girls before, but you’ve never done anything romantic with anyone before. Not even kissed anyone or hold hands, nothing. Not because you’re innocent or afraid but because you haven’t found someone worth your first experiences.

“What’re you thinking ‘bout?” you can feel her hands rubbing circles on your back as she speaks, suddenly stopping and letting go of her phone, making you groan. You’ve been watching random shit in her phone for hours, trying to keep her busy from reading you. “Nothing” your hands move unconsciously tighter around her, pressing the side of her stomach and making you feel the small laugh that your very fake ‘nothing’ had elicited in her.

“You’ve been zoning out, I thought you wanted to sleep but you’re clearly not tired, so” she let go of you, slowly readjusting herself on the bed so that she could properly rest her back on the headboard “what is it? Mhm?”

“It’s something sex related, you know it’s all awkward f’ me el” you shifted your eyes towards her half leaded ones, furrowing at her corky smile “see? you’re already laughing at me and I-“ your voices overlapped, making you stop talking first “You gotta find yourself a boy or girl or whatever. If you keep hoping for the one worth your body then you’re gonna fucking lose your mind” little does she know, you thought, laughing at her comment and motioning your hand as in a silent ‘forget it’

“I mean it” Ellie spoke again, clearly determined to make you speak “It’s your fault, maybe if you stopped telling me every detail of all the girls you ‘relieve stress’ with then I would keep being an innocent girl” you positioned your hands together, as if you were praying. Now sitting in front of her.

You stopped the moment she hit your arm, rolling your eyes “You have no innocence in your body, you’ve always been a fucking mess, specially with people” before you could say anything about it she spoke again “Tell me, you know I don’t care” she shrugged her shoulders, making a small pout. She looked particularly pretty today.

“Did you do something today? y’ look different” Ellie rolled her eyes, letting out a exaggerated groan “eyeliner maybe, now stop avoiding and tell me about whatever wet dream you had now” yup, there she was, best friend that knows everything. And the stupid friend that besides being people pleaser knows shit about lying.

“I fucking hate you” a pillow thrown by you made her open her eyes again, chuckling at how obvious you were. “remember what you told me the weekend? I dreamt about it… but you were there and it felt wrong” you mumbled the last words, audible enough for Ellie to understand. She didn’t care, neither did you, well, you tried not to care much. But your body reacted before your mind would let you do anything so you felt already sweating and practically burning. And again, she knew and she noticed, but didn’t care.

“Why? didn’t I fuck you good enough? I’m not worth your body either?” Ellie’s characteristic sheepish smile formed on her face as she got closer to you, leaning on her elbows and tilting her head, mocking you. “I’m not gonna give you details, I’m just saying I feel wrong… it doesn’t mean anything but-“ “it means something, don’t be a pussy and accept you might feel like fucking your best friend”

Hearing the words out loud was less frightening than you would expect, maybe it was Ellie’s voice but the idea wasn’t as disgusting as you felt it was. Not wrong either.

“Stop it, alright? you know I would never” her eyes felt like they were piercing your body, like they could read your mind, like she could eat you alive any moment. And the closer she moved to you the more stupid you felt “Ellie, please” you tried pushing her away once she was practically on top of you, she was playing of course, and she would stop. “You seem to like it, tell me what you dreamt of, Mhm?” Or maybe she meant it this time.

You weren’t sure what to do or say, she’s never played like this with you, and you’ve never even kissed anyone. Yet before you could try anything she laughed. Her hands were pressed on top of yours, sinking in the mattress along your bodies. And her face was so close to yours her mocking laugh brushed your cheeks. You were craving her now.

She let go of you, resting her body against the headboard again and shifting her eyes towards the sides of the bed, looking for an empty space on the wooden tables to place her phone. “Come here” her hands patted her lap, spreading her legs to make some space for you.

And so you did, crawling to her lap and sitting comfortably on it, positioning your legs in between hers. Ellie’s hands slowly cupped your face “I’m doing my job as a friend, this doesn’t count if you don’t want it too, yeah?” a small laugh brushed her lips, mocking your noticeable lost eyes that were wandering all over her face, from her eyes to her lips as she spoke.

She’d made a mess out of you already, without even touching you. But her tenderness, her voice, her body, the way she felt snd smell, everything had a specific effect on you that had been hiding for a long while. It was like drinking for the first time.

Her lips pressed on yours, it was a tender kiss, sweet and gentle. It didn’t last long “it’s okay, it’s only natural baby” her hands moved from your face to your thighs, caressing every inch of them in the most delicate way ever. Nothing you could ever imagine on your own.

So you kissed her again, now with an idea of what to do but letting her guide your every moves. Her tongue eventually got involved as well, dancing with yours and filling your mouth with the most delicious motions ever. Again, nothing you could ever imagine in your own.

You could feel the heat and wetness increase in between your legs, ashamed for getting like this so fast but too focused on Ellie’s body to actually care. She purposely lifted the leg you were sitting on, shaking it the moment she felt her knee against your cunt. “You can move… it’s alright” she mumbled in between kisses, leading your waist with her hands so you could grind on her.

You knew what she liked, based on everything she’d told you before, so you did what you could, moaning on her mouth as she liked it, and letting her guide you as well. You added pressure on your own, riding her leg practically, gently jumping on it whenever you felt like you needed more.

“Yeah, just like that baby. You’re doing so good” her hands tucked your dress on your panties, right above your waist so you could move freely. Then she pushed you closer, making you rest your head on her neck. And you took the chance to do something you’ve dreamt of, tasting it and leaving marks on it along wet kisses that kept making her as wet as you.

You could hear her small whines in your ear every time your kisses an grinding combined, she could cum just by your touch, and so could you. But what was the fun in that?

“What did you dream?” her hands moved back to your ass, guiding it over her thigh, slowly. “Uhm…f-fuck” you couldn’t speak properly, too focused on the sensation “your fingers” you managed to say. It was pathetic for both, to be enjoying this so much. It didn’t feel right, but it didn’t count right?

“That all?” you shocked your head, feeling a knot of pleasure forming on your stomach and your legs getting weaker at every movement Ellie guide your body to do. “I was…on my knees” too shy to say the words out loud you gulped, hoping she’d understand “yeah? what happened first?” The grip on you tightened the moment she noticed you getting closer to your climax, making every move painfully slower “Y-Your fingers… please”

“What a good girl, already begging” her hands grabbed your waist, tight enough to make you stop “take it off, I need to see you whole or I won’t do anything” she gripped your dress as she spoke, pulling the hem of it. You hesitated before doing it, this was new for you, and for the first time ever you felt genuinely innocent with her, so dumb and ashamed of yourself.

Her lips took you out of trance, pressing them on your temple and murmuring something in between “it’s okay” kiss “you can” kiss “trust me” kiss “please baby, just let me see you” and now her eyes were in front of yours, she knew how to use the puppy eyes. You nodded, feeling Ellie’s hands slowly move to the back of your dress, unsipping it.

You stood on your knees, in between Ellie’s legs. You could feel your dress loosening as you heard the zip lowering down your body until it stopped at your lower back. You helped Ellie remove it, raising your arms so she could finally take it off, revealing your bare chest immediately, accompanied by your panties, that were removed as well.

Being completely naked in front of Ellie felt right, it didn’t count, this whole experience. But how you wish it did. The way her excitement is revealed by her eyes, wandering all over you and taking note of every mole, mark, anything that’s in your body and it’s usually unnoticed. Her eyes, her freckles, her hair, her touch and voice, all so gentle yet so hungry. She’s starving already, and you adore that.

Her breathing became erratic as how inviting you looked, she needed to touch you, to hear you and savour you whole.

Ellie tapped the sides of your waist, pushing you carefully and somehow not breaking eye contact. She need you but couldn’t get you as she wanted in her current position, so once she got you sitting in front of her, patiently waiting, she started to take her clothes off.

Being at her house, with you, she wasn’t wearing more than a hoodie she’s probably been wearing for days already. and her usual pair of boxers, already drenched under some black shorts. Ellie was quickly, motioning her hand once she finished so you could sit on her lap again.

You obeyed, sitting on her and waiting for her to instruct your movements again. Both her index and middle finger brushed your lips. You looked at her, furrowing your brows a little “open” Ellie murmured, opening her own mouth as well.

She slowly introduced them inside your mouth, unconsciously smiling at the pretty image in front of her. You took them in, brushing them with your tongue and covering them with your saliva. They moved in and out of your mouth, slowly. “good girl”

Her free hand was resting on your thigh, making small circles near your hip bone with her thumb. You wanted to move, you needed it, but the fear of making a mistake was bigger, it wouldn’t count though, but something inside you felt like it might.

Her fingers came out of your mouth, you noticed the string of saliva connecting them with your lips, letting out your tongue one las time to cut it. “You’re being so good f’ me baby” her voice came out slightly husky, breathing brushing your lips as she spoke.

Her hand trailed down your body until it came to your clit, massaging it painfully slowly and making you sigh in pleasure. She started slow, making small circles on it as her mouth kept occupied by your hardened nipples, her eyes kept fixated on you as she did her every move.

You tried pressing yourself on her, delicately coordinating your body to her motions and rubbing yourself against her fingers.

Her fingers stopped moving on your clit suddenly, moving now up and down your folds until she decided to finally let you have what you wanted, teasing your arousal by pressing the tip of her fingers right above it.

“Ellie…” you whimpered, desperately pressing yourself again her fingers. A ‘pop’ made you look down, realizing how badly she’d been covering both of your breasts with saliva “what baby?” her chin pressed in between them, looking straight into your eyes “I need you, I want you to fuck me” you begged, tightening your fists besides each side of your body, fully desperate “please”

“So pretty…asking for me” Ellie nodded, bringing your face closer to her as her fingers made their way inside you, motioning in and out of your aching cunt. She started slow and gentle, caressing your back until she heard those pretty moans you let out, and her name in small whimpers.

So she did it faster. And you did your job too, riding her fingers at some point eventually, the way they curved inside you, her knuckles hitting the outside of your cunt whenever she did it too hard and how deliciously she kept on rubbing your clit with her thumb. It was impossible for you to keep immobile.

“El, fuck…gonna cum” her smile widened, moving her face to your neck and leaving a tail of wet kisses on it, she murmured a ‘yeah?’ to which you nodded desperately, both increasing its movements until the pleasure became overwhelming, making you press you whole weight on Ellie as you got to your climax. Covering her whole hand in your juices.

“You made a mess pretty girl, mind me helping?” her fingers kept on moving some seconds after you came, abruptly removing them, eliciting a small whimper out of your lips.

You could feel your inner thighs covered in wet, she tried cleaning some of it with the rest of your thighs before moving her hand up your face again. You already knew what to do, licking them and flavoring your own taste.

She moved her face closer to yours as well, removing her fingers out of your mouth once you licked your juices off and pressing her lips on yours one last time “gotta clean you, yeah? you did good, just rest babe”

-

reblogs are very much welcomed <3

Check this !!! FREE PALESTINE

[sunderwight]

SV scenario where Shen Jiu is also Shen Yuan's Meimei.

Trans egg SJ never got to examine her gender identity very much in her first life. What with all the enslavement, abuse (given as well as received), misunderstandings, betrayals, dismemberment, and death, there was far too much for her to ever come to terms with a set of concepts she'd never really had the luxury to entertain. By the time Shen Jiu was a peak lord, the Shen Qingqiu persona was locked in, and any dreams of a different life or inclinations to the contrary of her role were ruthlessly quashed by SJ herself.

But when SJ finally dies and her soul is free to reincarnate (taking a few more memories than usual along for the ride), she has mixed feelings about being born as the youngest daughter of a wealthy family.

The mixed feelings don't actually last long, though after a while she starts to wonder why the fates would grant her a reprieve? Maybe remembering her past life is her punishment, because it's certainly the worst part of her new situation. Her parents are indulgent, her older brothers all dote on her and spoil her, and when she tests limits she's only gently rebuked if she gets rebuked at all. Not only is she allowed to wear fine dresses and look pretty, she's expected to (actually the expectation does chafe, a bit). But even when she uses foul language, skips classes, reads controversial books, and commits myriad other tiny rebellions, no real retribution ever comes of it.

Even despite everything, after some years Shen Jiu starts to become... not complacent, but perhaps calmer would be a better description. She has a stable future handed to her on a silver platter. Very few things remind her of her past, either. She can read books about snotty highborn lords getting railed by werewolves as readily as classics of literature or academic papers on science, business, culture, politics, or whatever else takes her fancy. Her family doesn't even put demands on her to marry, despite some of her mother's hints in that direction. For the first time, Shen Jiu has a life where it seems like she can't fail, she can only succeed however much she wants to. It's like having nowhere to go but up, except without the part about hitting rock bottom.

A foolish set of assumptions, in the end. There's always something to lose.

When Shen Yuan suddenly dies, Shen Jiu recognizes the sinister hand of the same entity which oversaw her own reincarnation. One which had visited her dreams quite recently, trying to tempt her back to her first life with offers of being able to change the past. It wasn't even difficult to deny it. Shen Jiu doesn't believe she could change what happened, and she doesn't really want to try. Her one regret is what happened to that person, the one who died so horribly while rushing to her rescue, and even that, she doesn't know how she would change (because she still doesn't know why he bothered in the first place).

But how dare the System God take the silliest and softest of her brothers to try and fix her accursed first life?! Luo Binghe will eat him alive! Cang Qiong will mistake him for a demon or a madman or worse, and throw him into some cell somewhere, if they don't just kill him outright!

Shen Meimei tries to negotiate with the System, but it tells her the window of opportunity for her to go back instead has passed. Smarmy piece of shit. There's nothing she can do without supernatural help, however, except bide her time and wait for another "window of opportunity". It's in the midst of this that she discovers PIDW, and its (terrible) account not only of the broad strokes of her first life and death, but of what came afterwards. That little beast really wrecked the world, huh? And all those women, too. She's never been more grateful to have not figured herself out in her first life. But at least with access to this information, she can try and prepare more. (She's suspicious of who actually wrote this account as well -- is Luo Binghe himself in this world? Better to leave it now, in that case, before he inevitably makes another bid for power and destroys everything in his wake all over again!)

When the System finally gives her an opportunity to go back (as herself, or rather "Bonus Epilogue Side Character -- Shen Qingqiu's Mysterious Little Sister!") she is braced for any number of outcomes. Shen Yuan could be dead. He could be imprisoned. He could have had his limbs all cut off. He could be stuffed into a pickle jar. He could be hiding or on the run somewhere. Hopefully, he'll be hiding behind that person, confused and distraught but still intact thanks to the sect leader's guilt-driven sense of obligation. Most likely if the same number of years have passed since Shen Yuan "left", he's already been destroyed by Luo Binghe and all Shen Jiu will be able to do is avenge him. But she has some ideas of how to kill the beast, so, she will.

Of course, what she finds is nothing she expected, and almost even worse.

Luo Binghe married her brother?!

Death is too good for him! Shen Jiu's going to skin him alive!!!

[notanactressyayy]

—𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭—

pairing . Natasha Romanoff x fem! reader

summary . she needs you, in multiple ways — she's just scared to ask for it.

warnings . smut — I am NOT responsible for the content you consume — thigh riding, scissoring, fingering, vulnerable sex (because yes), taking care of Nat because she deserves it.

notes . English is not my first language, I'm brazilian, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes. this is probably the first fic I ever post so hi hi!!!

(I'm sorry if this is bad, I literally wrote that in a waiting room, completely in a rush.)

divider credits: @cafekitsune ^^

You didn't know exactly why the TV was on. You weren't interested on the show, and Natasha wasn't even looking at it. Her eyes looked down as she fidgeted with her fingers. You could tell she was anxious, that something was bothering her.

You just never expected that this was something to do with you — no, you didn't do anything wrong. It was her.

Natasha and you met years ago, and had been in a situationship for a while now. You weren't friends, but somehow, you couldn't recall the time you started dating (because it never existed). Friends with benefits was too cliché, and maybe not enough to describe what you actually had with her.

To begin with it, you met Natasha when she was still an Avenger. You were never part of the team, but they treated you as if you were. You were close to everyone, but specially Natasha. There was a reason she had let that happen, since according to her, she was in New York to be a hero, and not to have friends.

Friends.

The moment the russian started to blush whenever Thor teased her about how close she was to you or when you simply stared at her for a few seconds or more was when she realized that she made a mistake. A good one, she hoped. In a heartbeat, she was telling you her story.

You listened — just, listened. Your hand went to brush her hair behind her ear whenever she looked down, and the sparkle of pride in your eyes was not something she could miss. You didn't pity her. You didn't try to bring up a justification for what she went through, or to bring up a solution to fix her. You were proud of her for who she became, and were there for her whenever she didn't want to be that person for a while.

It was with that trust in you that she found herself wanting, craving even, something more. She's human, wether she like it or not. She can't deny her feelings or urges, not even the most dangerous spy can.

So her walls broke when you said you were going with her to Norway after the Avengers split.

Natasha shifted a little in the couch, the blankets around her getting all crumpled as she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Your focus went from the soft patting of the raindrops in the window to the woman next to you, as you frowned a bit.

"Nat?" you called, leaning your side against the backrest of the couch and looking at her. "What's wrong?"

She turned to you, a little startled, but tried to shake it off with a small grin. "Oh, it's nothing. It's just a little hot in here."

"We're in Norway," you laughed, giving her that goddamn smile of yours. "And.. it's raining."

"The..." she shook her head, failing miserably to come up with an excuse. "The blankets are making me hot."

"Mhm, are they?" you raised an eyebrow, and pulled the blankets off you both, and letting half of them fall to the floor. "Better?"

Natasha shivered, but nodded nonetheless. You saw she was unquiet, and that this looked a little more serious than the normal.

"Natasha."

"Yeah?"

"What is going on?" you repeated your question, scooting closer to her and placing your hand above hers — just to make things worse.

Natasha almost whined at your action, which made you pull your hand back and frown even more. "I'm sorry,"

"No, it's not your fault." she shook her head. "It's mine."

"Then tell me." you smiled softly, lifting her head up to meet your eyes with your pointer finger. The sight of her green orbs was something you maybe never saw before.

"I..." she mumbled, clearing her throat. She then grabbed your hand and held your wrist gently, not sure of what to do next. "I don't know."

"It's okay," you whispered, bringing her hand up and placing a kiss on it. You had no problem with being affectionate and she didn't mind either, but today, it was different.

"Y/n". Natasha whispered back, looking into your eyes and getting lost in them. She was clearly unsure of what to do, and how to express what she was feeling. So she brought your hand up and placed your palm above her heart. Faster than the speed of light.

"Hey..." you cooed, tilting your head as you felt the aggressive beating against your hand. "You... are you, scared of something?"

"No." she quickly shook her head. She wasn't having any negative emotions right now. "I'm not anxious, I'm not scared.. I'm just.."

"Just what?"

The fact she was not having an anxious episode or a panic attack made you slightly relaxed, but not completely — then you realized, the touches you were giving her made her sensitive. She was needy.

The Red Room turned her into a closed person, and that didn't completely vanish when she was with you — it was like there was a bug in her system that had to be fixed, soon. She couldn't be totally open, but not completely closed.

You smiled at the thought, and leaned in closer, inches away from her face, which made her breathing uneven. "Tell me what you need, Nat."

"I..." she took a deep inhale and placed her hand on your cheek, pulling you into an unexpected kiss — a desperate one.

She kissed you frantically, her movements with urgency as she placed her hands behind your neck, trying to pull you close. You couldn't say you expected this, but it wasn't unwelcomed either.

Your hands went to her waist as she shyly crawled onto your lap, her legs hooking around your hips as she pulled away for air, her forehead against yours.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." she breathed, feeling her eyes start to burn with unleashed tears.

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for." you murmured, arms gently wrapping around her as she straddled you. "It's okay, let's not rush things. Let's take deep breaths, mhm?"

The fact you wanted her to calm down before anything almost calmed her down instantly, but she breathed with you, then leaned her head on yours, her cheek on your hair.

"I just need something," she whispered, more calmly now. "I—I think I need you."

"And I'm here," you turned your head to press a kiss on her temple, caressing her back. The redhead melted.

Natasha leaned down to kiss your lips again, but not with urgency. She sighed softly against your lips, her hands moving to hold your face, and yours, to hold her waist. It didn't take long for her to start moving slowly — she shifted, instead of straddling your lap, her legs were around your thigh. Your eyes opened, and you broke the kiss to look at her.

"Nat, my love," you whispered. "Are you sure of this?"

"Please." she uttered back, closing her eyes and gripping your shoulders. "I know you'd ever hurt me.. you would never disrespect me, you would stop if I asked you to. Right... right?"

You smiled sadly, realizing she was trying to reassure herself, and not actually ask you this. "Yes, yes, Natasha. I want to take care of you. I want to see you, beyond that shell they turned you in. I want you to feel comfortable enough with me to ask for this, and this is such a big step for you."

She sighed in relief, hearing the honesty in your voice. She nodded, clearing her throat. She leaned down, hiding her face on the crook of her neck and pressing small, gentle kisses on it. Then her hips started to slowly move, and the tiniest bit of friction made her gasp. "Y/n..."

"Shh," you held her hips, guiding her through her own pace. The little high waisted shorts she wore rolled up, so surprisingly thick that you could feel her wetness. "That's great, Natty. Move yourself for me, like this."

Natasha whined at your words, starting to grind against you slightly faster. The clothes were starting to feel uncomfortable, as she felt the need of you seeing her. She grabbed your hands, and slowly moved them underneath her blouse.

You did what she wanted, grazing your fingernails against her skin and slowly massaging her flesh, resulting in a soft moan of hers. "Take it off." You looked at her with a questioning look, even if you had an idea of what she was asking for. "Undress me, Y/n."

Given her permission, you smoothly lifted her blouse and pulled it over her head, letting it fall to the floor. She stopped her movements briefly, just so you could slide her shorts and panties down her thighs, her heat now in contact with your leg making you groan.

She felt your hands moving up to unclasp her bra and smirked softly, holding her arms out so you could take down the straps. That woman was surely breathtaking, her body, her marks, her scars, her voice, her everything.

"Natty," you uttered, pressing kisses in the valley between her breasts and moving up, to her ear. "There's so much I wanna do with you..."

Natasha closed her eyes, your touch making her shiver again, as she began to fastly grind her pussy against your thigh. "Please." she quickly removed your shirt and soon enough, you both were completely naked.

The feeling of skin against hers, the human touch that she never felt when getting off with a strap while thinking of you was unbelievable, a touch that she knew that wouldn't hurt her. It was so good, so different from the men she seduced when a spy, so different from the men that touched her in the Red Room.

"My pretty girl," you hissed, throwing your leg above hers and starting to grind yourself with her. "So beautiful, and all mine."

"Yes," she panted, burying her face in your neck again as her nails lightly scratched your back. "Y/n, please."

"You're coming with me." you sweetly commanded. Natasha started to whisper things in Russian that you couldn't really understand, but you took it as a sign that she was close.

Soon enough, Natasha's legs started to shake and her moans on your ear got slightly louder, you both coming together, her juices mixing with yours. She didn't stop, though. You gasped, looking up at her. She still needed more.

"Touch me." Natasha growled, grabbing your hand and moving it close to her cunt. She was starting to feel confident, and you liked it.

You didn't think twice before burying your middle and pointer fingers on her hole, using your thumb to slowly rub circles on her clit, biting your lip at the sight of her back arched. All for you.

"God, Y/n," she moaned, using her own hands to squeeze her breasts and circle her hard nipples. "Yes, just like that."

"You like it like this?" you asked, shoving one more finger inside her, her moans getting louder. She slowly started to lift herself from your fingers, just to lower her hips again, riding your fingers. "You're gonna come for me again?"

"Yes!" she nodded frantically, her breaths coming in little gasps for air. She gripped your shoulders tightly, throwing her head back and orgasming again. It took a while for her to calm down, and you didn't waste time before gently taking her and laying her down on the couch, spreading her legs and pressing soft kisses on her inner thighs, licking her juices and making her squirm around.

"Y/n," she murmured quietly, reaching her arms out.

"Oh, baby." you pulled Nat into an embrace, holding her close to your chest and caressing her hair, running your fingers through her red locks. "It's alright."

Natasha whimpered, wanting to hide herself in your arms and never come out again. She closed her eyes and laid her head on your chest, arms circling your waist.

The talk about this could wait. The silence was comfortable enough for now.

[leahsgirl]

casual | alessia russo x female reader

was it casual when it turned into more than a one time thing?

this has been in my drafts since july and i’ve only just got round to finishing it. if youse have any requests let me know!

_

you’re trying (and failing) to listen to leah’s tactical breakdowns in the locker room when alessia scurries in, late again. that was her thing these days, along with avoiding you like the plague while at training.

no matter what you did to try and interact with the blonde she’d always have an excuse to get out of the situation. you tried to not let it get to you, but when you go from not speaking to her laying in your bed every week - it’s bound to have its effect.

you look at the striker whose now sat on the opposite end of the room next to lotte and you scoff, annoyed at how a single night two months ago can cause such a rift between you both.

you was at a club, a local one you and your teammates regularly visited when there was something to celebrate - the occasion this time being arsenal winning the conti-cup.

katie and kyra had gone up to the bar to get some drinks while you and the rest of the group found somewhere to sit.

you remember wedging yourself next to beth at the end of the booth, leaning back against the leather as you listened in on the girls conversations. it wasn’t long before the irish and aussie duo came back with a handful of drinks and everyone raised their glasses “to arsenal, and stina for the winning goal!”

the alcohol kept coming and the music was only getting louder, you were sipping at your cocktail that you didn’t bother finding out what it consisted of when there was a dip in the seat. you looked to your side to see alessia, her hair was messy and her cheeks were a dark shade of pink - something that always happened when she got a little tipsy.

“come dance me with meee.” she leant forward so her face was practically inches from yours. you just laughed, “mccabe not a good dancing partner?”

alessia shook her head “i’m third wheeling her and caitlin.” she pointed to the pair on the dance floor who seemed to be in their own world.

you sighed “lead the way russo.” you wasn’t the biggest fan of dancing but you weren’t particularly bad at it either. either way, seeing alessia’s smile when you agree is always worth it.

the dance floor was packed and it was hard to move without accidentally catching someone’s arm or torso. alessia moved with ease next to you, singing along to the music. “show me your moves y/n” she leant in and spoke down your ear. her breath was hot and was enough to send your stomach flipping.

the pair of you danced to the beat, lessi’s arms wrapping around your waist. it wasn’t unusual for youse to be touchy-feely like this - it was a normal occurrence in your relationship, hence why you don’t take much notice when she moves her hands lower, stopping at the small of your back.

“i need some air.” the blonde pointed to the door and grabbed your arm, leading you through the sea of people and out into the cold london weather.

“you okay less?” you ask concerned to the girl who is now leaning against the brick wall. she nods her head and it’s silent for a moment.

you’re about to say something when she speaks up first. “your ex girlfriend,” she says, her voice low. “i never liked her y’know.”

you raise an eyebrow, clearly amused and a little caught off guard. “i know you didn’t,” you reply softly, a smirk playing at your lips. “you weren’t exactly discreet about it.”

alessia looks at you then, her gaze more intense than usual “i’m better than her.” she says suddenly and you’re now confused.

before you can even respond, her hand reaches out and gently cups the back of your neck, she pulls you in and suddenly her lips are on yours.

you’re momentarily stunned, because what the fuck. alessia is kissing you, your best friend, your straight best friend for that matter. it’s enough to make your head spin.

almost instinctively you kiss back, your hand finding her waist as she kisses with more urgency. she’s the one to pull back and you take the opportunity to catch your breath. “your place?” she whispers so only you can hear, aware more people have come outside for a cigarette.

the rational part of you is screaming no, not to give in to her, it’s only going to bite you in the ass. but there’s also that one voice, the one that reminds you that you’ve been hopelessly crushing on the striker since being on the england youth team, the one that tells you she must want you too if she’s asking such thing.

you’re too intoxicated to listen to your moral conscience and so you nod your head and soon enough your in the back of a taxi going back to your apartment.

and that’s how the cycle started. she’d come knocking at your door, most of the times the scent of liquor clinging to her, you’d go to the bedroom and discard clothes, she’d whisper sweet nothings into your ear and kiss down your body like you’re fragile, as if each touch may break you, but much enough tenderness to make you ache for more.

then by morning she’d be gone.

no explanation, no trace that she was physically there a few hours before. almost like she couldn’t wait to get out.

it’s even worse when your at home aimlessly scrolling through your socials and you see clips of her being posted with her holding a drink in hand while sitting on a random guy’s lap whispering down his ear, or when she’s getting too close for comfort with a stranger in the dance floor. you’d always end up throwing your phone down next to you out of frustration, willing at the knots that formed in your stomach to just go away.

it wasn’t until around the fourth time you tried to talk to her about it but it didn’t work. she’d have an excuse or say ‘can we talk about it later?’ when in fact ‘later’ never came.

you’d be lying if you said you wasn’t hurting from the whole thing, alessia was your closest friend, clinging to each other like you was fused at the hip and now you hardly get a nod off the girl.

leah concluded her speech and you got up off the bench, starting to make your way to the pitch for warm up drills.

you’re split into two groups and you’re running with the ball. everything feels normal until you catch a glimpse of blonde hair charging towards you, and before you can react alessia slides in hard. her boot colliding with your leg instead of the ball and pain shoots through your ankle, sending you sprawling on the ground.

“what the hell, less?!” you snap, taking laia’s hand to help you up, the anger bubbling to the surface.

for a moment you catch a slip in emotion from her, a slight furrow in her eyebrow before she’s back to hardly giving you the time of day “it was a clean tackle” she shrugged and ran back to her original position.

“russo, what was that about?!” jonas called from his position on the sideline not looking too pleased. alessia held her hands up in defence “went in too early my mistake.”

the swede shook his head, “be more careful, we don’t want more injuries.”

“what’s goin’ on with you two?” katie asked, appearing out of no where. you waved your hand in dismissal “god knows.”

the older woman looked between you both and hummed, not looking convinced. you can’t even blame her.

it wasn’t until everyone was getting into their retrospective cars about to head home that you was able to take your opportunity.

“alessia.” you hold up your hand for her to wait “can we talk?”

seeing that she didn’t really have any escape route other than to run you over (you’re glad she hadn’t gone that crazy yet) she sighed and leant an arm over her car door as she waited for you to get closer. “what’s up?”

“what’s up?” you mocked in disbelief. “what’s up is that you kiss me, come back to mine for sex” her eyes widened as you ranted, nervously turning her head in all directions to make sure no one was listening. “-make it into more than a one time thing, then ignore me like i don’t exist as well as nearly taking out my ankle.” you point to your foot where there is evident bruising and a small scrape. “it’s confusing.” you confess.

“it was a drunken mistake, i don’t get what’s confusing.”

you’re contemplating if she’s being for real right now because there’s no way she’s believing the words coming out her own mouth. “drunken mistake to the point it’s happened over ten times now?” you scoff at her comment. “listen alessia, i can’t keep doing this. it’s messing with my head, while it may be a drunken mistake to you each time, it actually means something to me and it’s clearly impacting us at work as well.” you feel a crack in the back of your throat and you’re annoyed at yourself for getting this emotional right now. “just figure out what you want before we both get hurt.”

you didn’t bother saying bye, you just turned back around and got into your own vehicle hoping she’d actually listen to you and take your advice.

_

it had been two weeks. well, two weeks and four days to be exact since yours and alessia’s carpark talk, and there had been absolutely no effort off the blonde to communicate with you. you stopped sort of hoping after a week, seeing how she was still giving you the cold shoulder.

one thing that did change though; she no longer rocked up to your place for a late night booty call.

you was at home, letting the warm water cascade over your body and giving you a temporary moment of relaxation. you was just so annoyed with yourself, if you never gave into her a couple of months ago all of this could of been avoided.

tilting your head back, you lathered the shampoo into your hair working through the knots and tangles. it’s fine you told yourself, if alessia’s decided she doesn’t want anything to do with you - you should move on too.

you hear a knock, only a quiet one but enough to kind of freak you out. this is why you hated showering when living alone - always a crippling fear someone’s out to murder you while you’re butt-naked.

maybe it’s just you hearing things, the insane heat and steam in the bathroom making you a little lightheaded. either way, you reasoned with yourself you should probably check it out and wrapped a towel around your body.

there was another knock so you know you’re not going crazy this time as you make it to the hallway. after a few twist and turns of your keys you opened the door ajar slightly.

“alessia?” the blonde was stood on the opposite side of the door sporting mismatched sweats, sunglasses and her hair that looked like its not been brushed in days.

“can i come in?” she sounded weak and your shoulders slumped involuntarily.

you opened the door just enough so she could squeeze in then closed it behind her. you saw how her eyes trailed down your body, a tiny smirk emerging. “nice outfit.”

for a second you forgot you was only in a towel and felt the blood rush up to your cheeks. “i was in the middle of showering.” you subconsciously crossed your arms across your chest. “what is it you want alessia? why are you here?”

the striker shifted her focus to her hands, fiddling with the rings and walked ahead of you so she was standing between your bedroom and living room.

“i’ve been thinking about what you said.” she turned around so she was facing you and moved the sunglasses so they was resting on her head instead. wait, had she been crying? “i’m sorry for being so awful to you.”

you let her continue, “i just- i’ve got all these feelings, feeling about you. and it’s scary y/n. i don’t know what to do with them, like i thought i was straight a few months back!” she said incredulously.

“and now?” you asked gently. you could see this was working her up.

“i don’t know.” she ran her hands through her hair. “i just like you and it terrifies me because i’ve already hurt you enough and most likely ruined our friendship.”

you placed your hand on her arm for comfort “you’ve not ruined our friendship less.” consoling the girl who now had tears welling.

“y/n i’ve been a dick to you.” she deadpanned and you couldn’t exactly disagree because she had been pretty rude.

“at least i know why now though. you’re confused i get it.”

alessia still couldn’t meet your gaze “i care about you, y/n. so much. but i don’t think i can keep pretending im ready for something i don’t understand. i thought maybe i could figure it out, but i don’t think im there yet.”

you stood there in silence for a moment, the reality of the situation sinking in. she wasn’t going to stay. she wasn’t going to fight for whatever it was youse had going on. and no matter how much you wanted her to, she wasn’t going to.

“okay.” you finally said, “if that’s what you believe.”

alessia let out a shaky breath, looking up at you “i’m sorry.”

without another word, alessia stepped forward, her hands gently cupping your face as she kissed you. her lips lingered on yours, soft and hesitant, like she didn’t want to let go but knew she had to.

you kissed her back, your hands resting lightly on her waist, feeling the weight of everything unsaid between you. when she finally pulled away, her forehead rested against yours, both of you breathing heavily.

“i’m sorry,” alessia whispered, her voice trembling. “i wish i could be what you need right now.”

you closed your eyes, ignoring the aching your chest was doing right now as you whispered back, "me too."

she pulled away completely then, taking a step back, her hands falling to her sides. for a brief moment, she hesitated, looking at you one last time before turning and walking toward the door.

as the door closed softly behind her, you stood there, feeling the sting of her absence, knowing that waiting for her wasn’t something you could do—not anymore.

the kiss had been a goodbye, even if neither of you had the heart to say the words out loud.

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Not Alone

Authors note: My mental health is currently in the toilet (once again, I'm sorry y'all I'm trying so hard to get my one-shots out and finish up my multi chapter stories) so I wrote this to help myself feel better. Maybe it'll help some of y'all too ❤

Summary: Y/n has been suffering with immense negativity from her mental illnesses. Normally when this she self isolates and waits for it to pass, not a good coping skill surely but it keeps her safe. But this time, unbeknownst to her, Natasha has observed her slight changes and struggles during this period. So when Y/n takes a sudden leave, Nat knows she has to do something to show how much she cares and prove to Y/n that she's not alone.

Warnings: alludes to: anxiety, depression, PTSD, spiraling, suicidal ideation

Word count: 1773

Natasha Masterlist Marvel Masterlist

   It was movie night at the Avengers tower, and much to Natashas dismay you were once again absent. It wasn’t normal for you to miss out on things with the team, either as a whole or one on one hangouts. But for the past few weeks that's exactly what's been happening. It was gradual at first, but as time went on your lack of involvement only grew and your excuses as to why eventually stopped entirely. And while the rest of the team has taken notice of this behavior and is also a bit worried, it's Natasha who is affected most by your absence.

   She had thought that she was just being anxious due to her feelings for you mixed with the sudden distance you were making. But then she realized that was only part of the reason. What really impacted her were the changes she perceived in you. At first it was small things, like you losing focus during a meeting or skipping breakfast. But things had escalated, and far too quickly as far as she was concerned. Your gaze had become distant, your smile failed to be as bright, your laugh lacked its usual luster, you were eating less and sleeping more. But worst of all, you were throwing yourself into whatever mission came along. Even if you weren’t healed up from the last one yet.

   Unfortunately she knew exactly the headspace you were currently in, and she knew it wasn’t a good place for anyone to be. But especially you. It honestly hurt her to watch you suffer as you were, retreating in on yourself instead of seeking help. Or at least seeking her out, you usually confided in her whenever anything was bothering you. But she knew this made her a bit of a hypocrite because back when she was a new SHIELD recruit and struggling like this she certainly wasn’t letting Clint through the walls she built around herself, no matter how hard he tried to be there for her. But to her credit, when she was at her worst, she did reluctantly seek the archer out and let him in. 

   While she wants the same outcome for you, she doesn’t want you to have to hit your lowest point like she had before you reached out and accepted help. So she decides that she needs to act first and approach you. Maybe it's because she knows her friendship with you is closer than her and Clints had been at the time or maybe it's because she's hopeful that you return her feelings and have a bit of a weak spot for her, either way she's almost sure that you’ll be more recipient than she’d been. Which is why she finds herself quietly getting up from the sofa and slipping out of the room just as the movie begins to play. 

   She heads down the hall for the elevator but decides she doesn’t have the patience for it and so she opts for the stairs instead. She gets to your floor and heads straight for your door, where she doesn't hesitate to knock. As expected she receives no answer from you but it doesn’t deter her from knocking again.

   “Y/n, I know you're in there. Don’t make me pick the lock” she says. And it had been an attempt at a joke, but when she still gets no sign of movement from you she decides to do just that

   Your door opens with a familiar squeak that has you shifting in your bed, and your brows furrow as you watch Natasha reclose your door, “Didn’t think you were serious”

   “I’m always serious” she replies, knowing that outward image was far from what she allowed you to see

   “Not with me you aren’t” you grumble, managing to briefly make the corners of her mouth twitch in amusement. 

    But that amusement doesn’t last long as she takes in the state of your room. The blinds are shut with curtains drawn and a blanket has even been hung up over the curtain rod to block out all possible light from entering the space. Your dirty clothes are no longer limited to the hamper in the corner and are instead tossed recklessly about the floor. Your trashcan is shoved full of take out containers, a few dirty dishes are stacked on your nightstand, and the only light source is your dim bedside lamp.

   Her eyes scan over your appearance next and her heart sinks further. Based on your messy hair, dark eye bags, paler than usual complexion and crumpled up blankets she can assume that your prolonged stay in bed hasn’t been a restful one. Your scowl deepens when you notice her looking you over and you subconsciously shift under her gaze.

   “Can I help you with something Natasha, or do you just not get the hint that silence means I’d rather be alone?”

   She sighs and tries not to take your cold demeanor to heart. She knows you're just trying to keep yourself from being vulnerable with her. She decides to test her luck and steps further into the room, and when you don’t say anything about how close she is now she takes a seat on the edge of your bed.

   “I’m worried about you” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper

   “I’m fine” 

   “I know what fine means, Y/n.” she states, her gaze softening as she looks at you again, “And I know you aren’t okay right now”

   “I don’t need to be checked up on Natasha, I’m capable of looking out for myself and I’m telling you that I am okay.” you tell her, but the lie is more difficult to get out to her than you anticipated

   “Don’t do that.” You swallow the lump in your throat and she continues, “Don’t lie to me. Please” 

    “Why do you assume I’m lying?”

   “Other than the fact that I’m a world renown spy you mean? Or the fact that you never shut me out like you've been doing?” She turns towards you more and reaches out for your hand, and though you stiffened at the contact she isn’t deterred, “I know because I’ve been where you are, and I know it's a hell of a road to go down alone.”

    Part of you wants to admit that she's right, to confide in her like you normally would until your walls all come crashing down and you're letting everything out through tears while she wraps you up in her embrace. But the other part of you is still hesitant to be vulnerable, especially with Natasha. Once she saw those darker parts of you, those thoughts and feelings that you wish you didn't have but dealt with in some part daily, you were sure she’d turn away just like everyone else who offered to be there for you. And honestly that was something you knew your heart just couldn’t take. Not with meaning as much to you as she did now.

   “Hey” she gently calls out, likely sensing your inner turmoil, “You don’t have to suffer in silence alone, because you're not alone. I’m right here, and I hate seeing you like this. Please let me in. Even if I can’t help, I can at least be here to support you. Please don't keep shutting me out”

   You aren’t sure if it was the honesty and vulnerability in her voice, or the unshed tears in her eyes that finally had you breaking, but you suppose that didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that you were finally letting her in.

   “I don’t know what to do anymore Tasha” you admit as your voice trembles, and you push past your tears to keep going, “Everything just gets so hard and it's like I can’t even function. All I can do is the bare minimum, and thats so fuckin pathetic. I’m an adult, an Avenger for god's sake, and all I can do is lay in bed and wish I just didn’t even exist”

   “Detka(baby), no. It’s not pathetic, not at all. With everything you’ve gone through and how tough life has been for you, it makes sense that you’d have some days where that all just gets to be too much”

   You can’t help but scoff, “So many people have gone through what I have and they don’t struggle like this. And so many people have it worse. Just look at Bucky, or Wanda. Hell, even you- ”

   “Don’t do that, don’t compare your struggles to others. Everyones brains are different and everyone handles their traumas differently too. What matters is these things affect you, and sometimes you struggle because of them. That's it, no one else's situation bears any sort of weight on what you went through or how you deal with it.”She stresses, “You are allowed to feel how you feel, and you're allowed to not be okay.”

   A sob finally slips past your lips and without a second thought you're sitting up and flinging yourself at the redhead. She quickly wraps her arms around you and pulls you close, letting one hand soothe your back while her other gently cradles the back of your head. Your hands clutch at the fabric of her shirt tightly and you bury your face in the crook of her neck, letting your tears fall against her skin. She doesn’t mind honestly, she's just happy to be the one that you get to turn to when things get hard.

    “I just don’t wanna be here sometimes Tasha, it all gets to be too much.”

    “I know detka(baby), I know. But I am so proud of you for continuing on and so glad that you are here. You are so important. And even more so to me” she whispers, kissing the top of your head

    “I just feel so lost. So alone.”

    “I know, but I’ve got you now and I’m not letting you go. We’ll figure things out together. I promise. Whatever you need Y/n, therapy or time off missions, I’ll help you get it.” she says, tightening her hold on you, “Good days or bad, I’ll be right here.”

   The conviction she speaks with lets you know she means every word, and you know she’s not leaving your side.  You know you're safe in her embrace, and you feel incredibly grateful knowing she's going to be there to help care for you. And though you're still reeling from the turmoil within your head, you find yourself feeling like maybe things were going to start looking up from now on, as long as you had Natasha beside you.

Taglist: @wandaromamoff69 @mmmmokdok @nataliasknife @natashasilverfox @when-wolves-howl @danveration @naomi-m3ndez @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @readings-stuff @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @xchaiix @iaminluvwithnat @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories @imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastormm  @zoomdeathknight @rayeofmoonlight @aeroae @sashawalker2

[hees-mine]

𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 - 𝐋.𝐡𝐬

Pairing: heeseung ⚥ reader

Synopsis: After you invite your friend over for a hangout, heeseung instantly notices your sudden change in behavior. Not knowing what it was that had you ignoring him, he pesters you until he finds out that the whole time, you were just jealous of his interaction with your friend. After seeing you all pouty and upset, he has to make it up to you, and what better way to do that than with playtime?

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, step brother, stepcest, fingering, c*ck warming, dirty talk, cursing, jealousy, crying.

If you're uncomfortable with step relationships, this is not for you, so please kindly click off. Also they are both consenting adults. This is a work of fiction.

Genre: 18+ smut, taboo, minors do not interact!

WC: 2,559k

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR PART FIVE

When you invited your friend over for a hangout, you didn’t expect that the only thing she’d be talking about was your stepbrother the whole entire time, and it made you feel agitated because not only was she talking about him she kept telling you how cute she thought he was and if he was single or not to which you just replied with no even though you and your stepbrother were not dating you just wanted her to shut up and back off cause big bubba was already yours.

Heeseung would innocently check up on you guys every now and then, asking if you were hungry or if you needed anything at all. You said no, which he found odd cause you had never denied any of his offers ever before. “Are you sure?” He asked softly, a little pout on his lips from your rejection, and a frown replaced his pout when you answered him with a simple head shake, eyes still focused on whatever you were looking at on your phone.

Of course, your friend just had to say she was hungry just to get your big brother's attention, but little did she know his attention was only on you for the rest of the day, trying to discern your weird behavior towards him.

Heeseung tried his best to grab your attention, but nothing was working, and he was starting to grow annoyed because every time he tried to talk to you, your friend interjected and started talking about something he had zero interest in, and he’d reply with one-liners before focusing his attention back to you but you still just gave him the cold shoulder.

A sigh of relief left your lips when it got late, and your friend finally had to go back home before it got too dark outside.

Saying your goodbyes, you send her off with a hug and a very forced smile, attempting to ignore the weird feeling in your chest and the sudden feeling of hatred towards your friend.

After locking the door for the night, you trudged to your room, not bothering to reply to heeseung when he so obviously called out to you.

Like usual, you both got ready for bed, but before your head could even hit the pillow, your brother was stepping inside your room. “Princess?” He says softly and closes the door, inviting himself inside your room while joining you on the bed. “Sissy?” He chews on his lips when you don’t answer, and he begins to worry. “What’s wrong?” His hand makes its way to your shoulder, stroking it softly, and he swears he hears his heartbreak when you shrug off his touch. “Did Bubba do something wrong?” By now, he’s practically on the verge of tears, racking his poor brain to try and figure out why you’re ignoring him. “I’m sorry for making you mad. Please just talk to me.” he shakes you lightly as he begs for your attention. Whatever was happening, he didn’t like it one bit, and he felt like he was failing you in some way, which resulted in a couple of tears spilling from his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispers shakily, and you hear him sniffling behind you.

“Bubs?” You slowly turn around, meeting his pink-tinted face, and you panic immediately, going to wipe his tears away with your thumbs. “I’m not mad at you,” you whisper, and now you feel guilty for ignoring him and making him cry.

“You’re not?” After you shake your head as a no, he slowly closes his eyes, sighing in relief that he wasn’t the reason behind your sudden behavior, which makes him ask the burning question. “Then why are you ignoring me?” He gently cradled you in his arms when he saw you all sad and pouty.

“I wasn’t trying to, bubba.” You hide your face in his chest, inhaling his scent to help calm your nerves. “I was just upset.”

“Aww, tell big Bubba what’s the matter. He’ll make it all better,” he whispers and kisses the crown of your head.

“You were being nice to my friend” he had to hold in his laugh cause he already knew exactly where this was going, and he couldn’t believe you’d ever get jealous if only you knew how wrapped around your finger he was he’s sure you’d never worry your pretty little head about him being around other girls ever cause the only girl that existed in his world was his little sissy. “And she said she likes you, Bubba. Do you like her back? Do you like her more than me?” You peak up from his chest, eyes glossed over, and he can’t help but think you look so pretty even when you’re crying.

“No, Bubba would never ever like anyone other than his little sissy? Got that?”

“Promise?” His heart melts from your cute voice, and there’s no way anyone or anything in the world would ever make him stop loving you the absolute most.

“Promise, want Bubba to show you just how much you mean to him?” He grins when you nod your head and immediately pulls the blankets back, uncovering your precious body dressed in those cute teddy bear pajamas that he had bought for you last christmas. “Bubbas gonna take these off,” he tugged on your bottoms, pulling them down to your ankles with your assistance until they were all the way off, revealing your pretty cunt. The sight alone was already making him grow in his shorts.

“Bubba needs to undress, too,” he chuckles softly.

“Okay, okay, Bubba will undress too.” he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts and underwear, peeling them down and kicking them off his ankles before tossing them off the bed with your discarded clothes.

Your face felt hot the instant you saw his lower half completely naked, and you reached out for him.

When he saw how eager you were to have him, he quickly tossed his shirt off as well and unbuttoned your pajama top, taking it off your small frame until both of you were finally undressed.

He laid between your legs, resting his cheek on your chest as you played with his hair. “Bubba loves you,” he mutters with his eyes closed, slowly rubbing his length against your core. “So much.” he kissed your chest, warm breath tickling your skin, making you giggle, and you barely even remember what you were upset about in the first place.

“Love you too, big Bubba.” When he leaned back, you immediately whined from the lack of his warmth, but you gasped out a breath when his warm hands cupped your heat and started massaging it gently. “Bubba,” you moan his name instantly. His hands always made you feel so good down there.

“Feel good sissy?” Biting on your lip, you nod, chest already heaving from each heavy breath you take. His touch could always take your breath away.

“Bubba, can you go inside?” You ask him shyly, and his heart nearly skips a beat. Your face doesn’t match your words one bit, and the contrast makes his head spin. He didn’t know you could be so innocent yet naughty all at the same.

“Yeah, Bubba can go inside, sissy” he stuck his middle finger in, sinking into your entrance with ease, and you were so wet already that he quickly added a second one and even a third after a few minutes of stretching you out. “So warm,” he sighs, eyelids drooping and completely enamored by your walls opening up just for him. “So wet for your big bubba, you must feel really good, right sis? Bubba always makes you feel good, yeah?”

“Yes, b-bubba,” you stutter out, feeling his fingers working wonders down there as you grip the sheets tightly.

“Cumming already, sissy?” He looks up at you, and you’re the most precious sight he’s ever seen, panting and biting your lips while moaning his name over and over again.

As soon as he presses his thumb on your clit You feel yourself coming closer until the feeling finally disperses throughout your body. “Cumming, big brother,” you give in to the feeling that you’ve slowly become addicted to, and you let go squeezing around his fingers as your body squirms on the bed, back arching in complete bliss as you feel him massaging deep inside your private parts.

“So good for Bubs.” he smiles at your pleasured state, slowly bringing you down so he can build you up just to break you down again.

His fingers slipped out of your hole, and he rubbed the mess you made on his hard cock mixing it with his precum. “Gonna make you feel really good now, sissy” You’re too fucked out already to respond, but you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist, inviting him into your body.

He holds the tip at your hole, collecting your cum and rubbing his leaking tip on your swollen pulsating clit. “Love you,” he bends down, pecking your lips softly while sliding himself between your folds until he’s wet enough to slip it in.

“L-love you more, big b-bubba.” he lowered himself on top of you, slowly pushing the head inside your milky walls, sheathing himself in your warm, wet heat. “Bubs,” you whine, eyes rolling in your head when you feel his big cock getting lost inside you, and you love this feeling more than anything world.

“Always so nice and tight for your big bubba,” he groans in your ear, tongue flicking the shell of it as he worms his way deeper into your silky cunt. “Only sissy makes Bubba feel this good, no one else” Kissing your temple, he reassured you as he bottoms out, resting there for a few seconds before dragging out until his tip kissed your outer lips and pushing back in with a bit more force. “Mmm, so good.” his hands somehow find yours, and he laces them together, rutting his hips at a faster pace than usual, but he knows you can take him being a little bit rougher after you had him so many times. “Feeling good, my little princess?” He rasps out next to your ear.

“Yeah, Bubba, so g-good.” Your words get caught in your throat. You felt so full that it was overwhelming. You could barely even breathe properly.

“What feels good about it? Hmm, tell your big bubba?” He fucks into you faster, taking your breath away with each quick deep stroke. The sound of his full balls hitting against your ass fills his ears along with your moans, and he knows he’s gonna cum sooner than later.

“Feels so full and deep.” You squeeze his hands as he pins you down to the bed, bucking his hips into you like his life depends on it.

“Yeah?” He moans, toes curling into the mattress as he lets go of one of your hands and lowers it to your clit, circling the nub as you scream out loud in pleasure.

You’re both so caught up in the moment you don’t hear the car pull up in the parking lot or the front door close.

“Gonna fill you up sis okay? Make you really warm,” he whines against your lips, messily kissing you all over your face and sticking his tongue out, pushing it past your lips so he could savor every last inch of you while he pounded your pink puffy pussy.

“Yes, bubs, give it to me. I want your warmth.” his sweaty chest pressed against yours made your nipples harden, and you did your best to kiss him despite all the intense feelings surrounding you. It’s too much and not enough at the same time. You just need to be as close to him as possible, and even though you can’t breathe, you still search for his lips in a sloppy, wet kiss.

You both moaned into each other's mouths, drowning out the sounds of pleasure as your creamy fluids mixed together and got lost between your bodies.

The heat inside your lower half makes you clench down around his cock, squeezing his girthy base and milking him for all his thick spurts cum.

His thumb circles the back of your hand while he lazily rolls his hips, pumping you through your highs as you place your free hand on his lower back, hugging him closer to your tired body.

He smiles into the kiss when he feels your touch on his warm skin and completely melts into your warmth as he gives you every last drop of his love.

You both sigh in contentment as he rests his forehead against yours. “That’s Bubba's good girl.” You smiled shyly, trying to avoid his lingering gaze. “So cute,” he whispers and kisses your nose.

“Thank you, Bubba.” Your voice comes out so quiet due to exhaustion, and he barely even hears it.

“Hmm, get some sleep, sissy,” he breathes out, pressing his cheek to your sweaty chest, giving you a few little stray kisses here and there.

“Night, Bubba, love you.” Your eyes fall shut almost immediately as he hugs you into his chest, and his body heat calms you to sleep.

“Love you too, Night sissy,” he joins you, closing his eyes. Before he can drift off, he hears something that almost makes his heart beat out of his chest.

“Heeseung!” He jolts up from the sound of his mom's voice, panicking and quickly trying to cover you up as you stir from your slumber.

“Where are you, son?” His dad's voice made him panic even more cause he was going to get caught by both of them.

“Bubs, what’s wrong?” There’s no time for him to even pull out, so he flips you over so that you’re lying on his chest and pulls the blankets up to his neck while you whine in and out of sleep.

“Nothing, sissy, just close your eyes, okay?” You nod and rest your head back on his shoulder. “Shhh,” he tells your guy’s parents as soon as they open the door.

They smiled, relieved that heeseung had still been watching over you this whole time. If they found out he left you home alone, he wasn’t going to hear the end of it.

On the outside, you both looked adorable, cuddling up together while you slept on your big brother's shoulder. They assumed you must have just gotten sleepy while you were both hanging out, and you laid on his shoulder, and of course, they knew heeseung was too much of a softie to move your head and wake you. He was always such a sweet brother to you.

“Goodnight,” your mom whispers, and your dad waves as heeseung gives them his best smile. They finally closed the door, making him sigh a breath of relief.

That was close, too close. He could have sworn they were coming back tomorrow, so why the heck were they here tonight? Either way, he was just thanking his lucky stars cause that could have ended horribly.

He calmed his racing heart and stroked your cheek softly, leaning into you a little bit closer. He’d just make sure to wake up early in the morning and leave your bedroom cause there was no way your parents could ever find out about your guy's playtime.

Thanks for reading please reblog and leave feedback.

No taglist for series.

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddie-week.

Reach Out and Touch Someone

Day #7 - Prompt: Free Space | Word Count: 1500 | Rating: T | CW: Language, Alcohol | POV: Steve | Tags: AU, Wrong Number, Right Person Trope, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Meet-Cute

Steve dials the number messily scrawled on the scrap of paper. He’s nervous. He’s always nervous when he has to stick his neck out and make a move on a girl these days. 

Yeah, he did the first bit of legwork and got her number out at the bar last night. But he's fumbled the ball and failed enough times, Robin's loving, but accurate, "you suck" burned in his brain, that he's always leery to try again. He should be used to it by now, but it’s still uncomfortable and awkward, every goddamn time. If his friends weren't all fretting about his emotional well-being from being so terminally alone, he wouldn’t put forth half the effort anymore. 

He has Robin. He has his cat. He's happy. 

It rings three times before he hears it connect, “Hello?”

It’s a man’s voice, and he hesitates for just a moment, “I’m looking for, uh, Lyla?”

“Sorry, man. Wrong number.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I must have misdialed,” Steve says, a different kind of embarrassment. But this is one he can handle easier, for sure. So he pushed the wrong button somewhere along the way. His eyesight isn't the best thing he's got going for him.

“No worries, man,” the other guy laughs, seemingly carefree about being bothered.

They each disconnect and then Steve reads, and re-reads, the number before dialing again. More carefully this time.

It rings only once before it’s connected.

“Still me, dude,” the familiar voice relays, still light and friendly.

“Wow. I’m so sorry. Clearly, I was given a fake number. That's embarrassing,” Steve laughs, because this is more embarrassing than misdialing. He's uncomfortable and mortified to admit that this girl just didn't want him to call her. Even if he's only admitting it to a stranger.

She should have just told him no. He hates that she didn't, for her sake, too.

“Shitty move,” the other guy answers.

“Yeah, well. I'm sorry I bothered you. Again. I promise to cross-check any future numbers against yours before dialing, just in case.”

The guy laughs, "Well, now. Don't go to any trouble for my sake. Honestly,” and he doesn't sound put-out at all, “don’t worry about it. She clearly didn’t have the balls to just, be, like, honest. That sucks.”

Steve laughs, maybe if she'd had balls this wouldn't have happened at all. Most men feel more comfortable just saying no, he thinks, which is sad but true. He swings both ways, and maybe he should take this as a sign to lean the other way for a while. See if that works out any better for him. 

It probably won't, but he could try.

“There goes my big weekend plans,” Steve teases, uncertain why he does it, even as the words tumble out of his mouth. He needs to hang up the phone and let this guy get back to his own life.

“Dude. That's a problem I can solve. I’m gigging tonight. You have to come. Let me entertain you.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Whatever. I want to. Just show up. It’ll be a great story, will it not?”

It would be a great story. One he could even tell Robin to convince her he’s living a little, “I don’t even know your name. What if you’re a serial killer or something?”

“Yep, that’s me. Vicious killer,” the guy laughs, “I’m Eddie, man. And I’m a fucking ball to be around. You’ll want to take me up on this awesome offer. We’ll all be down at Hellfire Club around eight. Show up. If you think we’re murderous, you don’t have to follow us to any secondary, secluded locations.”

Hellfire Club is literally two blocks from Steve’s apartment. He's been past it countless times, but never inside. It's always dark. Like it's not even open, making him unsure about what kind of bar it is, it's so nondescript from the outside. Not to mention the name is a little intimidating. He'd half-convinced himself it's a BDSM club. 

But, now that he's been invited, he could just walk down and see what’s the what, “How will I know which guy you are?”

Eddie laughs, “You’ll know. Trust me.”

Steve has a hard time trusting anyone new these days, but Eddie seems friendly enough. 

Steve realizes he must have been quiet for too long, because Eddie starts talking again.

“I’ll have on a badass battle vest. Look for that. You'll see me. It's impossible not to. I promise.”

“Okay,” Steve agrees, even if he’s not sure what a battle vest even is.

“Now, are you going to tell me your name, or will that just be a surprise?” Eddie asks.

Steve laughs, “Steve. I’m Steve.”

“Well, I’ll see you later, Steve.”

Steve stands in front of his closet for far too long, trying to find something to wear that doesn’t look too nerdy. He assumes Eddie's cool. He sounded cool, and Steve may have been cool in high school, but these days he just keeps his head down and goes through life, content to be fairly unnoticed. He finally settles on a black t-shirt. Basic, classic. Timeless.

Boring. 

But that's a risk he's willing to take.

He walks down the street slowly and arrives around eight-thirty. The windows are still all blacked out, tinted to the point he can't see anything inside. There's just the neon sign with the Hellfire Club over the door.

When he pulls open the door, he's in a hallway that's painted all black, with a bouncer at the end, stationed at a door. Steve kind of wants to turn around, flee, but he doesn't. He's already here. He might as well at least see. Robin will kill him if he chickens out.

He gives his ID to the bouncer, and is directed down a staircase. He really hopes this isn't a sex club. 

It's not.

And as soon as he crosses the threshold into the bar, yes, he knows Eddie instantly. He’s gotta be the one on the bar, pouring shots directly into various mouths. Steve knows he could turn around right now and this adventure could end. But watching Eddie laughing and prancing up and down the bar with flourish, clearly having fun, makes Steve want to go up and meet this guy.

Steve takes an open seat at the end of the bar, kind of out of the way, and just watches Eddie work the crowd.

The bar is blaring It's Raining Men and Eddie is playing up the song, big time. He's not a stripper, at least Steve doesn't think he is, but he's working the crowd for tips, absolutely. He keeps handing them down to a curly-headed guy, who keeps stuffing them into an overflowing jar.

Steve's pretty sure this is a gay club, or at least queer friendly. Maybe he has found a place for himself, something that's been right here under his nose, all this time.

When Eddie finally jumps down off the bar, Steve watches him work the rest of the room.

The other guy comes over and takes Steve's order, and he doesn't quite have the same flourish, but he's efficient and confident with a bottle and jigger.

"Name for the tab?" he asks, shaking the drink Steve had picked from the list.

"Steve," Steve says, and the guy looks up and meets his eyes.

Surely not. This doesn't feel like this is Eddie. He is wearing a vest, a red plaid one, but the other guy also has a denim vest on, full of patches.

"Eddie?" Steve questions, needing to make sure.

"Gareth," the guy says, "that's Eddie," he clarifies, pointing at the one Steve had correctly clocked as Eddie to begin with. "You're his wrong number guy, right?"

Steve nods. He supposes that's what he is, "Yeah. That's me. Loser in love."

Gareth laughs, and it makes Steve smile.

"That's our specialty here, you'll feel right at home," Gareth teases.

"Glad to hear it."

"I'll tell him you're here," Gareth assures, "he wasn't sure you'd come."

"That makes two of us," Steve admits, and Gareth smiles as he finishes shaking Steve's drink, putting it down in front of him.

"On the house. First-timers to Hellfire drink free," Gareth says, and then he's walking away. 

Steve's eyes follow Gareth across the bar, watching as he taps Eddie on the shoulder, leaning close to his ear, pointing right at Steve.

Eddie looks, meets his eyes, and Steve raises his hand, giving him a small, little wiggle of his fingers.

A huge smile spreads across Eddie's face as he bounds in Steve's direction.

Eddie's quickly right in his personal space, squeezing both of Steve's shoulders, greeting him with a smile, "Welcome to Hellfire."

Steve smiles, liking the feeling of Eddie's hands bleeding through his t-shirt, warming him.

Eddie lets go, and Steve misses the feeling already, but Eddie stays. Sliding onto the stool next to Steve, "I'm glad you came."

And Steve's completely honest as he answers, "Me too."

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddie-week and follow along with the fun!

Notes: If you're too young to remember it, reach out and touch someone was the slogan/jingle for Bell System telephone company back in the day. So, that's where the title comes from, as a play on the wrong number phone call trope.

[aryaqua-reh2o]

What is going on with Stolas??

Something is off, it has been clear since The Full Moon and I have a theory about it.

There are a few moments in TFM but mostly in Apology Tour that rub me off the wrong way, as if Stolas himself is going subtly out of canon in his behaviour. Considering that Helluva Boss is an animated show and there is nothing not intentional in an animated show, I bet my two cents that the main reason for this vibe resides in this frame

Stolas ran out of his happy pills (the equivalent of antidepressant I assume) in the beginning of The Full Moon and for what we know he might still be off his medication by the time Apology Tour happens a few days (?) later. Back then I thought that missing a medication once wouldn’t be so impactful, but after reading a little about how antidepressant works I now believe that the disastrous ending of The Full Moon was at least in part caused by that. Stolas had a vision of how the night should have gone and once Blitzø doesn’t behave the way Stolas hoped, he just shuts down completely, failing to notice that Blitzø was, indeed, desperately trying to fight to stay with him. In a very wrong way, but Blitzø at this point still has no idea of the years of yelling and abuse Stolas had to endure, so he couldn’t know his anger would have triggered the other.

Another concerning sign is Stolas covering up all the portraits leaving only Octavia visible. Where is she by the way? The palace seems completely empty if not for Pringles the butler that we see for a second in the beginning. The palace is empty and dark.

The signs that something is off with Stolas become even more obvious in Apology Tour. Stolas doesn’t really miss the fact that Blitzø is somehow desperately trying to spend time with him and make up for what happened in TFM, in fact he teases him [Oh yes, very boring (relationships), what are you doing here then?] but he is not in the right mindspace to accept it or to listen to him and read between the lines. In Just Look My Way Stolas clearly sees how Blitzø is hiding to protect himself from the world that doesn’t comprehend him, but in Apology Tour that awareness is completely gone and all is left is resentment. Then Stolas snaps at Blitzø calling him out for not bothering to come and save him from Striker, but when we think about the end of Western Energy we see that Stolas is not angry or disappointed about Blitzø not coming to his rescue, he is only sad because he realises that his feelings for the imp are probably one-sided.

I haven’t seen anyone pointing this out but I noticed something sticking out like a sore thumb. Stolas is a prince and he was born and raised in luxury, so I can’t really place this behaviour that happens twice.

He arrives at the party and he grabs an abandoned red cup, empties it and drinks from it. This was his first drink for the night, or at least he seems very much sober there, but he deliberately uses a dirty cup to pour himself a drink. Later he straight up steals a drink from a succubus that was passing by, ok he is drunk, but still… it feels so off.

At this point Stolas is completely intoxicated and the conversation with Blitzø turns into a double monologue. It still tells a lot seeing how the two of them interact and protect each other and are utterly comfortable being together (do they even realise? I don’t think so), but still they end up with Blitzø being direct and honest for the first time while Stolas does three things: He doesn’t listen to what Blitzø is saying, he answers back but it’s all very generic and he keeps forgetting Blitzø is there at all.

Blitzø: Stolas, you are better off without me. Kay? You deserve so much… I don’t even know why you would want to be with me.

Stolas: You wanna know what I want? I want to know what it’s like to not be alone. I want to be someone’s someone. […]

Maybe at this point Stolas is too hurt to address Blitzø directly, it seems like he just gave up on him already, he decided Blitzø doesn’t want or love him so he keeps talking about a generic someone. Then he rants about how he needs for this someone to hold him and look at him and… he forgets again that Blitzø is right there. -You! Why are you here? I don’t want you here, go home please! Let me not feel so sad!

And then the Better than Blitzo Guy arrives and… I really don’t want to go down that rabbit hole because it hurts a lot. But here I am so I’ll go down there shortly. While I am perfectly ok (I’m truly not) with Stolas exploring new relationships and finally having fun and feel seen and wanted, I can still see how hooking up at a party while you are going through the worst breakup of your life is as maladaptive as a coping mechanism as it is to drink themselves to oblivion. Regardless of the Better than Blitzo Guy’s intentions with Stolas, it’s still a self-destructive behaviour. And again, Stolas is having fun dancing and making out with the Better Than Blitzo Guy and forgets Blitzø was even there.

That hurts man.

So this is it. This is the rant. I am so worried for my birdie babe Stolas!

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

We all need someone.

Pairing: Jackson!Joel x afab!reader

Words count: 3919

Rating: +18, NSFW

Warnings/Tags: flour is safe in this one (LOL), smut, fluff, angst, Joel POV, Joel's thought inserts in italics, no use of y/n, reader is described having hair, breast and vagina, no other detail is given on her appearance, Soft!Joel, Older!Joel, age gap (20 years, but the age of both is not specified so it could be 20/40 as well as 30/50 and so on 😉), swearing, kissing, dirty talk, unprotected p in v (do better than these two irl, please), breeding kink (I don’t even know why this happened but here we are LOL), cream pie, cum eating, mention of Sarah and Tess (they’re both gone, I’m sorry 💔), Joel thinks about his past relationship with Tess, mention of Ellie (of course she's alive and well but doesn't speak to Joel), a lot of mixed feelings, some of them sad and kinda depressing, pet names (honey, baby, kitten), they says I love you for the first time.

This has been sitting incomplete in my folds for quite some time, I finished it these days and I hope you understand something about how deeply I love Joel, nothing ever seems enough to describe how I feel. I will continue to try anyway.

English is not my first language, I have no beta and I hope there are no mistakes but if there are please forgive me.

As always, thanks if you will take the time to read this ❤️

Joel is old. He can’t deny that no more.

Life wasn’t gentle at all with him and he can see clearly all the signs of it on his face and body.

His mirror reflects the image of someone tired, overwhelmed, just too worn out to feel an inch of youth somewhere in him.

Grey in his hair and beard, pain in his joints, hands calloused and ruined by the cold, back that gives him nightmare, weak knees, wrinkles… his entire self is failing on him.

He doesn’t even understand how he got someone like you.

Beautiful. Sweet. A body that could make world turns and the most amazing face he ever saw.

You don’t see you that way, obviously.

You don’t notice how men in Jackson look at you.

And you don’t even care because you only see him.

He can’t believe how lucky he is.

The most angelic creature set her eyes on him, barely a shell of a man.

He drop his gaze from the bathroom mirror sighing and returns to bed.

Near you.

______________________________

The day he met you for the first time he immediately felt the need to keep you safe running wild in his veins.

You were like a deer in front of flashing lights, scared, bewildered, confused.

And he was there, his hands itching with the urge to touch you, warmth radiating in his chest, his cock twitching into his pants.

You looked like a painting despite your dirty clothes and your lack of shower.

But then again, how could you deal with such things in the middle of nowhere, alone and hungry while struggling to survive.

You deserve the prettiest things.

Whatever he could find during patrol he brought it home to you. Wild flowers that he found in the wood, dresses, one time a brooch left in a drawer in an abandoned house, another time a nice scarf to keep you warm.

Nothing could match your inner beauty and your grace but seeing your bright smile is what keeps him alive right now.

“You don’t need to do that, Joel”

Sure he needs to do it, you’re a vision and he’s just an old man.

He vouched for you.

They were skeptical, you could have been a thief or a rat for some larger group.

You refused to talk about your past, which was why everyone was suspicious.

Joel knew.

He saw pain and loss in your eyes despite your stoic demeanor.

The grumpy, loner, unfriendly man that has always struggled to open up to anyone promised to keep an eye on you in front of the whole community.

And that’s why you ended staying in his house.

He got plenty of space anyway so it didn’t bother him, that’s what he said.

You scratched that little wound in him, that little scar that he thought he was keeping under control.

No matter how tough you tried to be, he could see the fear in your eyes, he could read it clearly in your emaciated face, in your frown and the involuntary twitch of your lower lip.

We all need someone.

He failed to admit that he needed you too, at first.

His battered heart had been out of order, had been crushed to pulp for Sarah, had bled for Tess, had died when Ellie stopped speaking to him.

He tried to be distant and coldly polite like he was with everyone else but you were right there, reminding him that beauty still existed in a fucked up world.

And after all, his heart was still working. It had been kicked but it was still pumping blood through his veins.

The day after you entered his house he woke up to noises coming from the kitchen and thought for a moment that the others were not mistaken. He grunted as he got up thinking he would find his supplies raided and you gone. He almost didn’t have the courage to come and check on you but then he heard a loud metallic thud and ran into the kitchen.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” you said as soon as he appeared in the doorway.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m making breakfast… except I dropped a pan. Sorry.”

His gaze shifted to the table where he saw pancakes and hot coffee. “I thought you wanted some bacon, so I washed the pan to prepare it and it slipped out of my hands while I was soaping it up and the handle broke”

He breathed a sigh of relief as you looked at him guilty . “It's okay, I'll find another one and anyway maple syrup is fine”

Your eyes widened as if he had told you he owned a gold nugget.

“Do you have maple syrup?!” you squeaked and he laughed “sure”

You sat down at the table and you doused your pancakes in syrup. “Hey, take it easy, we don’t have supplies for an army.” he couldn't resist teasing you. Your gaze immediately dropped "oh shit, sorry, I should have thought about it but I don't know how long it's been since I last ate it“

He burst into the loudest laugh anyone had made him utter in months. “Don't worry, help yourself“.

_______________________________

You ended up in his bed during a freezing night, snow storm raging outside, the wind howling and banging against the shutters.

You knocked on his door timidly. Just once.

He was awake, wrapped in his sheets, under a duvet, eyes wide as he begged for a way to sleep.

“Who is it?” A stupid question, there were only the two of you in that house.

“It's me…I…I can't sleep” your voice was muffled by the closed door but it ringed in his ears anyway.

He sighed and replied “Come in”

“Sorry,” you said as you entered, “did I… wake you up?”

She came to me just because I’m right here in the same house.

“No, I can't sleep." and seeing your uncertain steps on the parquet floor he gently urged you "come on, sit here" and he patted the empty side of the bed.

She'll sit here for a while and then go back to her room, he lied to himself.

You sat down, wrapped in too-small pajamas that showed too much of your ankles and wrists, the best you could find in the pile of clothes stored in Jackson's warehouse.

The buttons struggled in the front to contain your breasts.

Lying like that, he could see the outline of your tit from a gap between one buttonhole and the other.

“Why can't you sleep? Is it the storm?” He shifted his gaze to the wall in front of him, focusing on a stupid painting of a horse that someone had hung there who knows when.

“Yes, and also…I keep thinking about a nightmare I had last night, I’m afraid to dream about it again”

That night you opened up to him, you told him about how your parents died, how you managed to escape with some friends and how in the end, you were the only one still alive.

You didn't even know how, at some point you had lost hope. You dragged yourself day by day, a walking dead waiting for the end. You thought you would die in less than a week and instead you had survived another two months before he found you.

__________________________

Joel wished he had the strength to send you back to your room, close his eyes and sleep, without getting involved but everything you had said to him continued to echo in his head. You were finally vulnerable, eyes shining with tears that you were holding back. He felt it again, the need to keep you safe.

He wanted to kiss you.

He reached out to touch your hand. “You’re cold”

You shook your head “No, I’m fine”

You were lovely.

I have to stop, he thought.

“Get under the duvet if you want”

“No really, Joel, thanks but there's no need.”

Why do you have such a sweet voice?

“I don’t want you to get sick.” He immediately regretted saying it, did he sound like his grandmother now? It was tragic. And his pathetic attempt to get you into his bed was even worse.

You laughed. Your silvery laughter pierced his chest, leaving him baffled and needy.

“You know we don’t get sick from the cold, right?”

You were amused and you were teasing him.

“I know,” he replied dryly, pouting. Inside, he was a mess. “However, exposing yourself to the cold contributes to lowering your immune defenses and viruses and bacteria can have a party at your expense”

You laughed even more “Okay, okay. God, when you say these things you sound just like-”

Not your father. Please, don’t say that I sound like someone that could be your parent.

Instinctively he covered your mouth with his hand and you jumped as his big paw suddenly landed on your mouth.

“Damn Joel! Your hands are too big to do that all of a sudden,” you said to him with wide, scared eyes and he felt horribly guilty. He hadn’t thought about it, his head wasn’t thinking anything, but surprising you like that could awaken traumas in you, who knows what cruel and desperate people you had met out there.

You held his hand tightly in yours after you pulled him away from your mouth. You needed two hands to hold it. You were so small. Yet you were capable to do it, you were tougher than you thought.

He quickly apologized and tried to pull it away but you were still holding it.

“It’s okay, I just wasn’t expecting it”

You were blossoming in front of him, a completely different person than the one he saved in the wood, newfound lightness in your eyes, your body finally relaxed as if a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, the discomfort you showed at the beginning had completely disappeared.

Stop it, she’s too young, she’s 20 years younger than you.

Then you did something he didn't expect. You brought his hand back to your mouth, leaving feather kisses on his calloused fingers.

“These hands make me feel safe, you know? I don’t want that to change. They are the hands that saved me.” you added in a whisper between kisses and there…Joel’s moral code collapsed.

All his good intentions swept away by your lips.

He shouldn't have, but his body was no longer responding to his brain.

He sat on the bed, slowly taking you in his arms.

In your eyes he saw his own need. He no longer cared what others would say, he only felt the unbearable desire to have you that was throbbing in his temples.

You kissed him first. While he was still looking for a way you simply placed your mouth on his and kidnapped him in an instant.

You were so soft against him.

Your lips trembled with uncontrollable desire against his, demanding and needy.

“Joel…” you breathed on his skin “save me. Save me again”

He couldn’t say no, even though he felt overwhelmed and exhausted and he should just find a way to stay away from you so he wouldn’t drag you into a relationship that was wrong.

Maybe it’s not, he thought. If it makes me feel this good and if she wants it so much, maybe it’s right.

Maybe that's why I found her.

When you grazed his lips he just opened it letting you in.

You moved feverishly, clasping your hands behind his neck, your tits rubbing against his chest and your tongue caressing the roof of his mouth and then seeking out his as if it were a matter of life or death.

That night Joel laid down his weapons. He was the one who was defenseless before you.

______________________________

“Hey” you coo in your little bird voice “where were you?”

“I was in the bathroom”

“Mmmmm come here, I'm cold” you wrap your leg around his waist and press yourself against his chest.

Six months have passed since the night he kissed you, what you wanted had become his priority, even if you didn't ask for anything. At least not anything material. Just to have him by your side.

He lies down on the bed on his side and you press your head to his chest “you're always so warm”

Your left leg is wrapped over his thigh, your body blends so well with his, it feels like you've always belonged there.

He could spend every day of his life like this, lying in bed with you in his arms.

You’re making out for what it feels like hours, your kisses going from chaste and tender to demanding and needy, getting sloppier and deeper.

Your hips grind against his, seeking friction, asking for attention.

The lack of oxygen is starting to have the better of Joel, his mind is fuzzy and all he can think about is you whining and panting in his mouth, filling up the quiet room with your labored breath.

Your voice is a litany echoing in his ears, a prayer made of sighs and moans “Joel, please”

“I'm here, sweetie, tell me what you want” he softly urges.

“I want…I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me until I’m boneless . Please” you plead

“Such a hungry little thing” he smiles before leaving a bite where your neck and shoulder joints met.

“I still have to wrap my head around the fact that you want this wrinkled old cock so much” he mumbles

Your voice is deep and husky as you continue to rock frantically on his leg and you slap him on the shoulder protesting “It’s not old. it’s thick and hot and perfect and my pussy needs it.”

He chuckles, surprised that you still have an attitude after all the grinding and making out.

“She wants it that bad, huh?” He whispers and you purr “yeah. She needs all of you, please”

“Oh baby, she’s weeping all over my leg, how can i resist” he smiles as he kisses you again sucking gently on your lower lip and then moving on your neck, licking over your pulse point.

He makes you lie down on the bed, gently crushing you with his body.

As he continues on his path paved with kisses and little bites he growls “Spread your legs for me, honey, let me feel you”

He lowers a hand, your soaked cotton panties sticky and messy under his touch. “Mmm how did she get so wet every single time”

“It’s because of you… she feels so empty right now”

“Damn, you’re so pretty when you’re begging for my old cock”

Your voice almost sounds like a cry, eagerness all over your face, your hands fisting his bed t-shirt so tight your knuckles are pale.

He’s intoxicated with the way you desperately demand to be full of him.

“Fuck me, Joel, fuck me hard”

Nothing exists anymore except your quivering body beneath him as he keeps hovering his fingers over your cunt and tasting your skin.

He doesn't even have the patience to take off your panties, he tears it, a large hole opens up on the front.

You whine loudly, a mixture of surprise and hunger.

He pulls down his boxers and let slide his cock over your clit wetting it, shivering at the sensation of your warm juices coating his shaft.

He usually licks you first, makes sure you have at least a couple of orgasms from his mouth before he enters you but he can’t wait. Not today.

He never really felt in control with you, he let you invade every cell of his body without even thinking about it.

Between him and Tess there was something left unsaid.

She had never asked him to feel what she felt, and he had no intention of bringing up the subject.

Tess was like him, bold because no one had to notice how deeply wounded she was, a woman of few words, she inspired respect and fear in others even more than he did.

They had bonded out of necessity and then discovered they were more similar than they thought.

He loved Tess but couldn't put it into words, he followed her around like a guard dog barking at anyone who threatened her.

It was the only way for him to show how much he cared, he couldn't make a relationship official when he was still trying to heal from losing Sarah.

When you stepped into his life he was even more hurt but he was still someone born to protect and the quiet coexistence with you had unleashed something in him that he couldn't oppose.

Before he could realize it, you were already beating hard in the center of his heart and it was as if the words were elbowing their way out of his chest.

He has to do it now, sink into you before it's too late, before time passes inexorably without leaving him anything to hold in his hands.

He puts the tip in.

Your glassy eyes are locked in his, overflowing with lust.

He slides another inch into you, your muscles clench around his cock and another moan escape your lips.

He has to hold on to all the willpower he has left not to shoot a load inside you right away.

He's slamming into you, trying to keep his mouth in check for once but yours is running wildly, he's never heard you like this.

“Holy fuck it’s so good just- fuck - just split me in two”

“God, baby, that dirty mouth of yours is going to drive me crazy”

“I can’t stop - nnnngh - the way you make me feel - fuck - it’s unreal”

When he reaches your soft spot you’re a bundle of whines “oh God oh fuck it feels so good”

He feels sweat beading on his forehead, his breath short, his strength faltering, it’s like fighting against his own body and it’s a fight he’s not willing to lose.

His lips latch onto your nipple, he tries to breathe deeply through his nose, so maybe you won't hear the rattle that crackles in his throat.

“Fuck. Yes, suck it, Joel. God, your mouth is so damn perfect” He doesn’t have a clue why you’re so wild today but he feels like drunk on you.

And he feels vulnerable, even with your nipple gently trapped between his teeth.

He sinks more, his balls slamming against your ass, so deep into you.

He hasn't shed a tear since he lost Sarah, he thought he had cried them all, but he looks at you like this now, disheveled, raw and longing beneath his body and he feels them stinging at the corners of his eyes for a totally different reason.

Happiness.

He is like snow, hard, cold, inhospitable and you are like the sun that melts him, inviting, comforting, warm.

His love for you is undeniable. Indisputable. It boils in his veins, it cracks his breath and makes his bones weaker. He never felt so much painful need of belonging to someone before in a romantic way.

His old body is aching but at the same time he feels like he has just gained a new sense of being alive in this wrecked world.

You're like a little beast writhing beneath him, clinging to his back, your nails scratching him and your mouth drinking from his skin, his neck, while your pussy sucks him in, taking everything he has.

Your hair is plastered to your forehead, scattered on the pillow beneath you, his hypnotized eyes don't miss a change in expression on your face transfigured by desire.

He has never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

His cock pulses inside you, wrapped in your hot, tight, dripping pussy. “God, you’re always so perfect for me,” he sighs. His chest grinds against you, his heartbeat now in his throat.

Your skin is salty, smells like the rose shower gel he brought you last week. He smelled it and your face came alive before his eyes as if you were there. Tommy had to shake him by the shoulder to try to wake him from the trance he had fallen into.

You're always too much for his old, broken heart.

“Come inside me, Joel,” you beg.

“Are you sure?” he murmurs, dazed.

“YES. Please Joel, I want you to fill me up, I want to feel every drop of you, I want—fuck—I want your seed all the way inside my cunt, I want to feel it dripping on my skin”

You've never let him cum inside you before, he's marked your tits, your tummy, your back, once your face by mistake while you were milking him with your hand.

Never your cunt.

Your legs wrapped around his waist push him against you.

“Please, my pussy is yours only, yours only, feed her” your strangled sobs and your begging send him over the edge, he can’t hold back any longer.

Your clouded eyes are locked on his, sending shivers all over his body.

He does what you ask, exploding inside you in long spurts of sperm, painting your walls that tighten around his length as if they wanted to nestle him inside you forever.

His hand moves down to your clit, rubbing it frantically "come baby, come for me" and you cry out your orgasm almost instantly, your hips rolling against his, your breasts bouncing with your ragged breathing.

He pulls out of you and smiles, looking down, long white, slimy streaks sliding lazily out of you. You smile back, bringing a hand between your thighs.

You bring a finger to your mouth, as if you had never tasted it before, you spread it on your lower lip and then lick your finger clean “what does it taste like?” he asks without even thinking.

“Try it” you suggest offering your finger to him “lick”.

Joel sticks out his tongue uncertainly, darting it slightly, he pauses for a moment and then gives a more decisive lick “It’s salty. It tastes like…moss?” “Yes. It’s good” you tell him softly.

Good is not the word he would use but you seem convinced, so he doesn't comment further.

He takes you in his arms as you calm down, you bury your head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent.

He kisses your hair, then your forehead and thinks that if you didn't exist he would have already given up everything, his entire life.

"Kitten" he drawl and you hum in response “Yes, Joel?”

The words had been jostling in his throat for a week but he'd kept pushing them back.

Having these feelings at his age, with everything he had been through, is terrifying.

Yet he could no longer lie to himself.

You crawled into his soul so easily.

He belongs to you. For all the days he has left. He wants nothing more from life.

“I love you”

It's the first time he's said it to you.

You look up, your doe eyes surprised and sparkling in the morning dawn that faintly enters through the window.

You are speechless for a moment, joy radiating across your face. Your mouth curves into the most beautiful smile he has ever seen.

“I love you too”

Your fingers tickle the nape of his neck and bury themselves in his hair as he kisses you.

“I love you, Joel” you repeat through the dance of your lips “I love you”

[piftamere]

one - don't change the subject (wc : 800)

she was ordering herself her last drink when she received the text, the sweaty crowd pushing her against the bar. she’s now staring into space, the sounds around blurring into an incomprehensible mess.

the bartender hands over the drink, snapping her out of her daze. she downs it in one go, and orders another one. and another. until she can’t tell what she’s feeling.

when she wakes up, blurry memories from the night before come back to her. her head hurts, she feels heavy, she rubs her eyes, trying to make sense of everything.

except, she’s not in her bed, and that’s not her room. clothes are littered on the ground and giving where she is, it’s unlikely she took them off alone.

she groans and gets up, the room spins and she feels nauseous, reminding her of how much she drank last night. quickly she fumbles through the mess on the floor to find her clothes. they smell of sweat and alcohol. she grimaces, but she slips it over her head anyway. the damp fabric sticking to her skin. her makeup from yesterday is smudged around her eyes, her hair is a mess. she finds her phone half-buried in a pile of clothes that clearly aren’t hers.

slowly, she opens the door, she hears a shower running and takes it as a sign that the coast is clear. she’s not in the mood to face anyone in her current state, especially not her mistake from last night. tip toeing down the hallway to the door, she closes it behind her as quietly as possible. the sun is high in the sky already as she does her walk of shame, not sure where she’s going. she checks her phone, it’s dead. she’s not ready to tell anyone about what happened last night anyway.

when she looks up it hits her that she's wandered to her art studio, well her school’s art studio. her feet seemingly moving on their own, driven by routine rather than choice. she pockets her phone and pushes through the door. the studio is unusually empty, quiet. it should make her feel at peace, but it doesn’t. she hasn’t cried yet and she’s not sure she will.

she moves mechanically, out of habit, she takes out paint and brushes. she stands in front of a blank canvas and stares for a while. the emptiness inside her stretches, threatening to swallow her whole. she knows she should feel something, anger, betrayal, heartbreak even, but there’s nothing. a dull, oppressing nothing.

she hates everything she makes lately, never satisfied with the end result. she doesn’t know why. and she doesn’t know why she even bothers trying anymore. but she knows that if she doesn’t make enough pieces for the exhibition, she will fail. the knowledge looms over her head, and the more the deadline approaches, the more she feels it weighing down on her.

so, she picks up a brush. her grip is tight, too tight, her knuckles whitening as her fingers curl around the wooden handle. her strokes are harsh, slashing across the white surface, trying to force something out of herself, something she doesn’t have.

bristles bend and split under the pressure, damaged by the force of her hand, she doesn’t care. she paints because she has to, because she has nothing better to do.

after a while she stops, she’s not finished but she can’t find it in herself to keep going any longer. her eyes trace the lines on the canvas, neither satisfied nor dissatisfied with what she made, just a heavy indifference. without thinking, she wipes her hands on her pants, leaving streaks of paint behind.

she picks up a half empty paint bucket from a shelf nearby and walks out the door.

sounds of balls hitting the floor lead her to her next destination. she drags her feet to the entrance of the gym, paint bucket swinging as she walks up the steps. confusion and curiosity can be read on the faces of the people she passes by, and she stops in front of what will soon be her ex boyfriend. he’s stretching below her and before he gets the chance to speak, she dumps the entirety of the red paint in her hands over his head. gasps and laughter echo in the background but she doesn’t pay attention to them, instead focusing on (and savoring) the bewildered expression he’s now wearing.

with paint seeping down his face and pooling around him, he stays still, blinking up at her in shock, mouth agape. she doesn’t smile or laugh, her expression cold and distant. the sight of his face triggering a surge of anger, boiling under her skin. the first emotion she’s felt since she heard the news.

and she walks away.

fun facts!!

the girl sent proof to yn about the cheating (pictures, stuff like that)

they spent an hour looking for yn before kageyama told them they could stop, but without explaining why (because he was really drunk but also because he didn't want them to annoy him about him talking to hinata)

hinata and kageyama were in high school together (along with everyone else from karasuno) but ever since they graduated they grew apart a little

yn is a woman of very few words

when she came home she locked herself in her room

author's note

setting up 👀👀

play dumb! - next

taglist : open!

@alpha-mommy69 @bakugouswh0r3 @giocriedpower @itsdragonius @haechansbbg @wondipity @iaminyourfloors @na0koz @from-mae @eusaevi @jtaimeurmom @kr1nqu

if you're name is crossed out i couldn't tag you, if it's not fixed in a week i'll remove you sorry :(

[changisworld]

experiments

fem! Changbin x afab reader

word count:3,562

Summary: Binnie is your best friend & you both realise she is confused about her sexuality & she's curious on how it is to sleep with another girl, & who better to teach her than yourself?

18+, MDNI!! smut below the cut

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

main masterlist here

->SMUT WARNINGS: Big tittie binnie heheh, fingering (Bin rec), oral (both rec), face sitting (reader rec), nipple sucking (Bin rec), tribbing, multiple orgasms, pussy slaps, praise, kissing kissing kissing>:3, fluff!, open ending

You are sitting in your bedroom with your long term best friend, Binnie! You're both sprawled out on your bed & you're just rambling about random things that come to your minds as you both scroll through instagram.

"That's what I said! I'm just not interested in Hyunjin in that way but everyone else was calling me crazy!" Binnie squawks as she throws her hand in the air, trying to emphasise herself.

"Because you are crazy! how could you ever reject Hyunjin?! I'm convinced nobody is ever gonna be your type!" you remark, not bothering to turn your head to look at her as you keep aimlessly scrolling on your phone.

Binnie huffs & you giggle before continuing. "Maybe you just like girls, Bin, i've always said I can see it! If you can't even find yourself fancying Hyunjin even a tiny amount, i must be correct!" Binnie scoffs at your words & you turn to face her, & you don't fail to notice his chubby cheeks a tiny bit blushed & it's not because of her makeup.

"Y/nnie stopppp! I just.. haven't, I don't like thinking of that idea!" she whines as she playfully punches your arm & you can't help but giggle. "Why not? You've kissed so many girls so what's different? All our other friends see it too!" you tease as you wriggle enough to lay on her chest, not intending to do it in a provocative way, but you can't help but feel & also hear her heartbeat racing.

"Because i've thought about that a lot recently! But feelings are kinda weird to me y/nnie, you know what i'm like! it's just scary to think about!" she cries as she plays with your hair absent mindedly as she watches your phone screen.

"Hmmm, I just think you're delusional Binnie! If you just say it out loud, you'd feel a lot better, pinkie promise, I can hear your heartbeat through your chest!" you chuckle as you reach & put your hand over where her heart is, trying to get a better feel over her tits & she tenses up under you, which isn't something that usually happens.

"Fine! Well I've just been kinda thinking of girls in a different light for a while but recently it's been a bit.. more! & lesbian porn just turns me on is all!" she admits & you move your head in a slightly uncomfortable position so you can look up at her, her bob framing he pretty face.

"& is that all? Cmon Binnie we are best friends! just spit it out!" you prodd at her, knowing she will spill the beans, especially after pulling the best friend card.

"I just, fine! I'm curious on how pussy tastes too! I watch lots of oral videos & i'm curious on how it tastes. Y/nnieeeee, tell me" he replies, her hands covering her face in embarrassment & you sit up fully, giggling & you boop her nose with your index finger & you straddle her, which isn't something uncommon for you both, but given the current conversation, you can't help but get a tiny bit fuzzy inside.

"Whyyyyy?" you tease her & she whines as she takes your hands & waves them around playfully. "Well why do you think, silly! I wanna try it but I wanna be prepared, I wanna know how I taste so I know if I'll need to chug cranberry juice every time I have sex!" she blabs, giggling up at you, her eyes trying their absolute hardest to not wander down to baggy sleep shirt, the neckline showing your tits in the hunched over position you're sitting in.

"You're so silly it's adorable Bin! It kinda tastes like warm skin, kinda like sucking & licking on your arm but it's just more wet but it has the tiniest tiniest tiniest more salty kinda taste too? & If you stick your tongue inside it kinda feels like someone is hugging your tongue & it tastes different, more strong in a way? but in a really good way!" you reply, sounding giddy. "We can just try it if you're that curious, for experience & all that, unless you already like someone n that's why you're so curious?" you almost queeze at your own words, wishing you could take it back because you've just realised this a bit far.

Binnie looks up at you with wide eyes & her face turns rosey red, even more than what it already was before & she awkwardly giggles. "How do you know I was waiting for someone?" she speaks in a shy tone, her voice high pitched. "I didn't! I was just guessing but now you've just confirmed it so whooo? what's her name hmm? Because you keep trying to avoid looking at my tits Binnie, is it meeeee?" you tease her, honestly not expecting the response she gives you back.

She looks up at you in a bit of shock, not expecting you to guess that easy, was it really that obvious? She can't get any words out & you know her so well to the point you know she's nervous & you have a huge incline that it's you, so before you can take a second to think about what you're doing, you're leaning down & you kiss her.

Her lips take a few seconds to intertwine with yours & it's obvious straight away that this kiss is nothing like the drunken kisses you would share together, but you're not gonna complain about it.

You pluck up the courage & you reach down to cup her cheek, moving the few strands of her hair out of her face as you lick across her bottom lip before you let your tongue loose in her mouth & she whimpers into yours as her tongue copies yours & her small, slightly chubby hands hold onto your waist & you almost melt at the contact.

You force yourself to break away from her plump, pink tinted lips, a tiny bit of her lip gloss plastered onto your lips & you begin kissing her cheeks & jawline as your hand moves to the hem of her hoodie before stopping. "Can I?" you murmur softly & she hums a 'yes' instantly & you sit up & she helps you take it off & to your surprise, she is only wearing a bra underneath, a plain white one, failing to fully support her big tits as the skin not cupped by the fabric is spilling out & you have to physically stop yourself from drooling all over them.

Binnie blushes at the way you're looking at her & she decides to add more fuel to the fire by taking off her bra & tossing it to the side, her dark brown, solid nipples already perking up & you bite your bottom lip, smirking up at her before you push her back on the bed again so she is lying down before you shuffle down to her big tits & push them together & run your face across the cleavage, both of you chuckling to one another as you do so.

"I could die here, can I taste em?" you question as you lay your head on her own two pillows, the point of your chin slightly digging into them. "Please y/n" she hums as she looks down at you, completely flustered & her bangs are messy in her face.

You can't help but get giddy at her response & you don't waste any time before taking her left nipple into your mouth & you both let out a small moan at the same time.

You let your fingers grab onto the other nipple to give it some attention as you suckle on her pretty nipple & her fingers find their way into your hair & rub lightly at your scalp, her breathing already getting heavier, small whimpers & hums leaving her throat ever so often.

"So sensitive, you're so good at this y/n" she groans & you can't help but notice how she rubs her thighs together, wanting something more.

You pop off her tit, her nipple an extra shade darker now & you giggle as you look up at her. "Do you wanna go further? I can feel your legs clamping together underneath me." you tease, still pinching & lightly tugging on her nipples, making her jolt & wince.

"Yeah, wanna taste you, please y/nnie." She whimpers but you shake your head in a 'no' & she pouts down at you, but it doesn't last long when you're pulling off her basketball shorts, leaving her in just her plain white cotton panties & you blush at the sight, her thick, plush thighs covering the area you wanna see most, but from what you can see, you can tell she has a landing strip which you can tell the shape of beneath the fabric.

You sit on the back of your heels as you pry open her thighs just enough so you can crawl & slot yourself in between & you are quick to notice the wet patch that has soaked through the material & you whimper.

"You're so wet already Binnie, you weren't lying when you said you are sensitive." you remark as you crawl up her frame again & practically lay down on her as you kiss her again, her bare tits connected to your clothed ones as your hand starts exploring her covered core, your middle finger running over the small wet patch, avoiding her chubby, big clit, teasing her.

"Don't tease, please! Want you." she pleads in between kisses, her hips thrusting into your hand & you experiment by giving it a light slap, making her whine.

"I remember you telling me you liked that when you hooked up with Chan" you purr, chuckling & Binnie moans at your words, in a strop. "Don't bring up my past hookups when I'm here fully naked in front of you! speaking of naked, get naked y/nnie!" she squeaks as her hands paw at your sleep shirt before deciding to just throw it over your head & off of you before you even have time to reply & her eyes widen at the sight.

You give her one last peck on her swollen lips before you start working your way down to her other swollen lips.

You take her panties off & you didn't think a triangle landing strip could be so hot on someone until right now & you give it a few kisses before kissing & nibbling at the inside spot of her soft thighs & her back arches as she fights back a whine, that's when you know you've found her sweet spot & you latch onto it as if it's your last lifeline.

The woman above you arches her back at the pleasure, trying her absolute hardest to not suffocate you in her legs, not as if you'd mind.

"Y/nnn, stop teasing or I'll genuinely cum from you just sucking on my thighs." she whimpers & you giggle against her leg before unlatching yourself, getting butterflies at the sight of the three little dark spots you've sucked onto her skin.

You lick your lips at the sight of her cunt, her big, pretty clit peeking through her fat pussy lips, a pretty dark shade. Binnie takes it upon herself to spread her folds for you in a 'V' shape & her clit is visibly throbbing & you can't hold yourself back anymore even if you were paid to, & you dive in.

Your tongue slides its way up, down & through her pretty, soaking folds & you can already feel yourself getting addicted to your own best friends taste. "So fucking sweet Binnie, when you eat pussy, it's good to tease a little bit, get a good taste of it, mkay?" you speak up as you rub her fat clit with your fingers, forgetting you're also supposed to be teaching her how to do all of this.

Binnie doesn't say anything but instead latches her hand into your hair & shoves you back into her cunt, both of you sharing a whine as you eat her out as if it's your last meal.

"Tongue s-so good, fingers p-please!" she whimpers & you can't bring yourself to deny what she wants & you'd never even dare think of doing so & you slide your index finger into her warm cunt, a small squelch noise rings in your ears.

You flatten your tongue over her entire core, flicking your tongue over her folds & her back is arching off the bed as her toes curl & she just cannot keep quiet.

You add a second finger into her already dripping core & it is met with almost zero resistance & you're over the moon that she is so relaxed so quickly & you start doing a 'come hither' motion as you latch onto her clit & harshly suckle on it & you let your teeth scrape over it ever so often & she is shaking in front of you, her legs shake around you as the grip on your hair gets tighter & Binnie can feel you smirk against her clit, slurping up all her juices.

"Gonna cum, cum, y/n I'm cumming!" she chants out & her legs snap shut around your head as her orgasm coats your fingers, her whines turning into husky squeals as your fingers are pretty much forced out of her hole as she clamps around you so tight & you rub on her clit with your thumb as you somehow remove your head from the vice- her thighs as you let her ride out her orgasm.

You lick your fingers as you watch the woman in front of you try catch her breath back. "B-best thing ever, we should have done this sooner, l-lemme taste you" she splutters & before you even move towards her, she is pulling you up towards her & you land on her upper chest.

She kicks your sleep shorts off so you're also completely naked & the second you sit on her chest, Bin can feel your wetness on her skin & you both giggle as you grind your cunt against her & she whines more than you do as her hands latch onto your ass & helps you grind, smirking up at you.

"I could cum like this i'm not even kidding, you're so pretty." you purr & you blush at your own words, so happy this is happening right now & you'd be lying if you said you haven't realised you have some sort of deeper rooted feelings from all of this.

"Well don't! I want to make you cum, cmere" she giggles, her fringe sticking to her forehead & the small layer of mascara smudged just under her eyes as her lip gloss is completely long gone by now.

Before you can think of a good enough response, you're being wriggled up until you're straddling her face, your cunt hovering over her & her eyes are glued to it.

"Your pussy is so pretty, can I taste it? sit on my face, I beg" she whimpers, her mouth watering. "That's scary! i don't want to crush you" you reply & Binnie rolls her eyes before grabbing your waist & pulling you onto her face, her nose bumping just past the pudge of your clit as she does so.

Her plump lips suction against your cunt as her tongue glides along your flaps messily, nudging against your clit, trying to find the best possible spot for you & you decide to help her as you pull up the skin on your pubic bone, exposing your clit fully for her & she takes the chance for granted & she kitten licks your clit, your own juices making her brain short circuit.

"Holy shit Bin, you're a fucking natural, tongue is so soft." you whimper as you hold onto the headboard of the bed & you have to resist throwing your head back, instead, you refuse to take your eyes off of Bins, her watery eyes looking up at you with nothing but lust & happiness in them & you accidentally start slowly grinding against her tongue, your cunt gushing onto her tongue & she is honestly sad that it's impossible for her to get any deeper into your pussy.

Binnie is kneading the fat of your ass like a cat as she digs in, groaning into you, mumbling words but they're so muffled you don't even bother trying to understand what she is babbering on about, but the vibrations of her inaudible words are sending pleasure up your spine & as much as it breaks your heart to do so, you use your strength to pull yourself off her tongue.

Bin tries to chase after you with her tongue, pouting & whining at the loss. "Your clit was throbbing in my mouth, why'd you stop? You were gonna cum!" She cries out, your juices still all over her face & you giggle at how flustered she is beneath you.

"Wanna scissor you" you reply, a cheeky smile on your face as you start to shuffle down to spread Binnie's legs but she beats you to it & tosses you beside her & she takes the position between your legs, planting your left foot to the floor & sits on your right thigh before aligning your cunts up with one another.

Binnie lets a glob of spit fall from her lips, the coldness landing right on your cunt, making you hiss & grind against air & she giggle above you, deciding whether or not she should tease you & keep you waiting but her own patience has worn too thin & desperation is far too much & she sinks down so you're both connected & you both let out a satisfied hum.

Binnie starts grinding herself against you, her big clit almost entering your hole each time she does so & you genuinely think you're about to leave the planet.

Binnie's big tits are jiggling each time she thrusts & her short hair is swaying & you just can't take your eyes off her & you pinch at your own nipples & Binnie whines along with you at the sight.

"Your clit feels so good Bin, you're so pretty, Oh fuck." you keep muttering, your voice cracking from how breathless you are & you try wriggle your waist a tiny amount to get that extra crumb of friction & Binnie notices & he pulls up on her pussy, her hand flat against her dark pubes & exposes more of her clit to your eyes as she is chasing her second release.

"I feel close already y/nnie, your tits are so hot, your cunt is so warm, so wet!" she squeaks as your shared wetness is spread across the inside of both of your thighs & she can feel her orgasm bubbling up & she thinks fast & she spits onto her fingers & aligns them up with your hole & enters her index & middle finger & starts scissoring them in & out of your hole, squelching noises filling the room almost as much as the slick noises of skin rubbing together & your shared whimpers.

Your back arches off the bed when her stubby fingers find your spongey spot & you squeal.

"H- holy shit, I'm gonna cum Bin, don't stop, clit feels so good." you say as you writhe & Binnie half smirks above you, loving how she is making you feel. "Wanna cum with you y/nnie, g- I'm gonna cum, pussy is so go-good" she stutters as she tries her best to keep up her pace & you're so thankful for that because the second her fingers change angle & her pudgy button rubs against yours, your legs are shaking & your orgasm hits you like a brick wall & your leg hits against her chest.

Binnie cums only a few seconds after your own orgasm starts, the look of bliss on your face enough to send anyone over the edge, she stood no chance.

She shakes above you & you reach down to grab her plump ass, helping her grind against you, trying to ignore the overstimulation that's setting in, just to milk the extra bit of pleasure for Binnie.

She flops down beside you & practically pulls you onto her, your face resting against her tits & you cup as much flesh as you try cup as much of her tit as you can with your hand & you simply rest it there.

"That was honestly the best thing of my life, I definitely like girls, who the fuck was I kidding." She speaks up & you giggle at her words as you squish her boob like a stress toy as your other hand rests on her tummy, grazing your nails over it.

"Told you! but on the other hand, I think we need to talk Binnieboo." you reply & she hums a 'yes' response as she plays with your hair.

->Taglist is open! ->Anon list is open!

A/N: This is kinda experimental & I honestly have no idea how well this will do, but depending on how well it does, I'm willing to make a fem!skz masterlist :3 This may or may not be completely inspired by a girl i slept with last week heheh

[starryeyedjanai]

sitting between comfort and chaos

steddie | 5.7k | rated: teen

5 times everyone thought Steve and Eddie were dating before they got together + the first time Steve tells someone after they actually get together

happy birthday @legitcookie!!! i hope you had a fantastic day!💗

read on ao3

1.

Thinking back on it all, Steve thinks he should have known something was up when Dustin started letting Eddie sit up front when he drove them places, a spot reserved only for Robin or Erica when Dustin was riding with him.

Steve has seen that kid - who's not really a kid anymore, he's in college now which is so weird to think about - elbow his friends in the neck trying to get to the car first so he could ride shotgun. So giving up the coveted spot for anyone - even Eddie - should have been a giant red flag.

Steve brings up Dustin letting Eddie sit up front to Robin and gets an eye roll for his trouble.

"What?" he asks. "It's not like it isn't weird. The kid will literally only let you or Erica sit up front and he only lets Erica do it because he's afraid of her."

"Yeah, and he let me sit up front because he thought that we were a thing or about to become a thing or whatever," Robin says, like that explains anything.

"Right," he says, not quite getting what she's getting at.

Dustin knows better now and has stopped bothering them about it, stopped asking Steve when he's going to finally ask Robin out. It only took a million years, but he thinks Dustin gets it now.

He still lets Robin sit up front out of habit - and because Steve refused to start the car the one time Dustin tried to bully his way up front with Robin after figuring out they would never be a 'thing'.

"You know he still kind of idolizes both of you and now that you're, you know-" Robin says trailing off.

Steve lost the thread a little bit, but he nods. "Sure, sure," he says.

Now that he and Eddie are friends, Dustin has stopped bugging them about about each other. Maybe Robin's right. Dustin is still just idolizing Eddie and that's why he lets him sit up front.

Steve still thinks it's weird though.

2.

The first instance Steve can remember something weird happening even before Dustin started letting Eddie sit up front was at a club in Indianapolis.

Robin's sitting in between him and Vickie in the booth, talking about her classes this semester, when she stops short.

"Rob?" Steve asks, and then waves a hand in front of her face when she doesn't respond.

She snaps out of it when he boops her nose lightly. "Uh, um. Don't look, but-"

He immediately looks in the direction she was looking in when she spaced out and tries to scope out what she saw that caught her attention so hard she stopped talking. He sees the crowd of dancing people in his line of sight, but he doesn't see anything out of place.

"I said don't look!" she snaps at him and he turns back to her.

"What? I don't see anything!" he says, feeling chagrined at her snapping at him like that. "You can't say 'don't look' and expect me not to look."

"Just- Eddie's, like, dancing on someone right now," she says, tone almost apologetic.

Steve fails to see what's so special about that. Eddie's always hooking up with someone when he and Steve come out together. He doesn't even think it's the first time Robin's seen it, so he isn't sure why she's so shocked. Vickie has a sympathetic look on her face when Steve glances at her to see if she thinks it's weird that Robin is bringing this up.

"Okay?" he says, voice lilting high at the end like a question.

"And you're okay with that?" Robin asks, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Uh, should I not be? He's always hooking up when we go out," he says, looking back over and yep - he's got his tongue down some guy's throat on the dance floor, the guy's hands gripping Eddie's ass to bring their hips together. Steve feels a ribbon of want float through him - it's been a while since he hooked up with someone.

"So, you've got like an arrangement where you can hook up with other people?" Robin asks, confused.

And Steve is also confused. The way she says 'arrangement' like it has connotations that he should understand. Why would he and Eddie have even talked about hooking up with anyone?

His slightly tipsy brain tries to rationalize it - maybe she's talking about when they go out just the two of them, like if Eddie hooks up with someone, Robin's assuming Steve would be all alone. He doesn't have a problem with it - he's a social butterfly when he's drunk and even if he wasn't, Eddie running off to go dance or make out or hook up with someone gives Steve time to find someone to hook up with himself. It's not like he's ever bored when he goes out with Eddie.

So he tells her, "He can literally do whatever he wants, Bobbie."

She sips her drink and stares at him, her gaze scrutinizing, and whatever she sees must appease her because she drops it and starts talking about her courses again.

When he remembers that conversation the next day, all he can think about is how bizarre Robin was acting.

3.

The next weird occurrence he can remember happening, he didn't even find out until after the fact that something was awry.

He's on vacation with most of the older crew, staying at a house near the ocean, just a small little bungalow, for the week that they're in California.

When Steve and Eddie go to drop their suitcases off in the room Nancy shuffles them towards, they pause.

There's only one bed.

He and Eddie look at each other and Eddie says, "Maybe all the rooms have one bed?"

"Yeah, yeah, probably," he says, dragging his suitcase to the far side of the room.

"We probably shouldn't say anything, right?" Eddie asks, later, before they all head out to the beach. "Like, about the room?"

Steve thinks about it. He knows Nancy is the one who got the keys to the house through her parent's friends and she got here earlier than them and scoped out the place. If there was another option to them sharing the same bed, Nancy would have told them. "Yeah, I mean. It's fine, right? You don't have a problem sleeping next to me?"

Eddie shakes his head. "Oh, of course not. I'm good sharing if you are."

"Yeah, it's no problem," Steve says. He kind of can't remember the last time he shared a bed with someone other than Robin when she stays over at his apartment sometimes.

"Okay, then we'll just. Keep it to ourselves. Besides, I feel like Nancy would skin us if we tried to complain about a place we aren't even paying for," Eddie says with a grin. The perk of Nancy's parent's friend having a vacation house is that even though it's a little small, they let them use it for free. And it's empty because they only use it when it's winter in Hawkins.

"She one hundred percent would," Steve agrees, so they drop it and don't bring it up. Too few beds isn't the end of the world.

Waking up with Eddie's arm firmly wrapped around his waist is fine, nice even. If Steve turns off the alarm that woke him, snuggling back into the embrace, making them both late for breakfast when they finally do wake up, that's no one's business but his own.

-

It's later, after they're home, that Eddie stops by and tells him about the extremely bizarre conversation he had with Nancy the last day there.

He says, "So something weird happened on vacation and I don't know what to make of it and I'm only telling you because you're the only other person it affected," as soon as Steve opens the door.

"What happened," Steve asks, instantly worried. He lets him in and Eddie starts pacing in the living room. Steve goes to sit on the couch.

"So, that last day on vacation, Nancy asked me to come sit on her suitcase because it wouldn't close with all the souvenirs she bought. I went into her and Jonathan's room and there were two beds," Eddie says, stopping in place to look at Steve to gauge his reaction.

His eyebrows shoot up. "Oh," he says. He's really not sure what to make of that either.

Eddie starts pacing again.

"Yeah. So I asked her why there were two beds in their room, but not two beds in our room - kind of put my foot in my mouth if I'm being honest. I didn't mean to just blurt it out, but then she said 'we were just trying to make sure everyone was comfortable'," he says, inflecting his voice higher to mimic Nancy.

"What the hell does that mean?" Steve asks, trying to wrack his brain and see if he remembers her telling him anything about her and Jonathan's relationship being shaky. He thought they were good. There were some rocky times before Vecna, with the distance and everything, but once they were both in the same place again, things seemed to smooth out between them. They've been happy together for years as far as he could tell.

"Exactly!" Eddie says, finally coming to sit on the couch next to him. "I literally asked her what does that mean? Because I had no idea. Still have no idea. She said 'what? It's not like you have a problem sharing with Steve', which honestly something about her tone made me feel like I was stepping on her toes, so I just dropped it. But I can't stop thinking about it. Are she and Jonathan okay?"

"As far as I know," Steve says. "That's so weird. But if there is something happening between them, it would make sense that they'd call dibs on the one room that has two beds. I gotta talk to her and see what's going on."

"Don't, like, tell her I told you or anything," Eddie says to him. Steve still thinks it's hilarious that Eddie is patently afraid of Nancy and her guns, which are mostly retired and locked up.

"'Course not," he says. "I'll just ask how they're doing the next time we hang out. I hope it's something they can get through at least."

"Yeah," Eddie sighs. "If they don't make it, how are the rest of us supposed to have a chance?"

Steve does ask Nancy about it later, just casually asks how she and Jonathan are doing.

She kind of narrows her eyes at him and says they're fine, but her voice is suspicious like she isn't sure what he's getting at. He drops it because he's also a little afraid of her.

The entire situation just leaves him confused, though.

He doesn't bring it up to Nancy again, but he does talk to Robin about it because his conversation with Nancy left a weird feeling in his chest.

"Eddie told me Nancy and Jonathan had separate beds on vacation," Steve blurts out, trying to go for casual, but absolutely failing.

She looks over at him with a weird expression on her face and says, "Yeah, I thought you knew that? It was just how it all shook out. Nancy just wanted everyone to be comfortable." And those words are eerily similar to what Eddie told him Nancy said about it.

He asks, "What do you know?"

"What do you mean?" she counters.

"You know something," he says, narrowing his eyes. "Are she and Jonathan alright? I tried asking her, but I felt like she was gonna bite my head off."

"They're fine," Robin says. "Nancy and Jonathan were just taking one for the team."

Steve's still so confused.

Robin must see the confusion on his face because she grabs his hand and says, "Look, we don't really ever talk about it, and that's totally fine by the way, but we all just want you to be happy."

Steve isn't sure where that came from or what it has to do with Nancy and Jonathan, but he's touched that his friends want him to be happy, he supposes.

4.

It's when he and Eddie get an apartment together that Robin brings up the thing she said at the club, jogging his memory of that bizarre night.

She's helping him unpack his room, putting stuff in the drawers, leaving space in some of them like she expects half of his wardrobe to be filled with something else. He thinks it's just another one of her weird quirks. Does she keep yarn for her knitting projects in half of her dresser or something?

He's hanging some shirts and she's folding his jeans when she blurts out, "You know, you don't have to let him 'do whatever he wants' just because it's what he wants, right? You're allowed to have a say in it too, you know."

It takes him a minute to realize who she's even talking about and even longer to realize she's referring to the conversation they had at the club years ago now.

"What- Eddie?" he asks confused. She nods, so he asks, "Why, because we live together now and that should, like, change something?"

Robin sighs, setting the folded jeans in the drawer. "I just mean, this doesn't exactly seem like the type of thing you'd be into. You've never mentioned wanting-"

He cuts her off, and says, "I mean, it's not like I don't also hook up with people when we go out."

That shuts her up for a solid minute. He watches as she processes it and almost wants to roll his eyes. His friends really think he has no love life whatsoever, huh?

He knows he hasn't dated anyone in a long time, but he's fine hooking up with people when he and Eddie go out sometimes. He can't say he doesn't miss having someone, or being in a relationship, but he's fine for now. He's still young, he still has time, you know?

Robin looks at him and says, "Okay. Okay, if that's something you want. Only if it's what you want, though. Don't just let Eddie talk you into something you don't want to do. Don't let him walk all over you."

"Yeah, of course," he says easily. "And if you're worried about us bringing people back here and it causing tension or whatever, we have rules in place and everything."

Robin says, "That- that's good! Rules are good."

'Rules' might be stretching it, but they did talk about guests not staying for longer than one night and trying to keep it down when they do have guests and that's good enough for Steve.

Luckily, Robin seems content to let him drop the subject and talk about how they're thinking of decorating the living room.

5.

The invitation comes in the mail.

Max popped the question - surprising Lucas, who had been agonizing for weeks over how to propose - a few months ago.

They knew the invitations were coming. Max told him over the phone that they'd be coming soon and that she expected them to send back an RSVP even though she already knew they'd be coming.

Steve checks the mail and is surprised to find just one invitation addressed To Steve & Eddie.

He takes the mail inside and shows the invitation to Eddie, who's eating his breakfast, still a little bleary-eyed and soft from sleep.

He drags the chair at the kitchen table closer to Eddie's chair and drops into it as he watches Eddie frown at the envelope in his hands.

He looks at Steve and asks, "Just the one came?"

Steve nods and Eddie opens the envelope to pull out the invitation.

They look over the invitation and Steve notices the RSVP section doesn't have options to add a plus one for either of them.

"Wow," Eddie says, dragging the word out. "None of our friends think either of us would manage to convince someone to come with us to the wedding, huh?"

Steve hums in agreement. He knows Robin, Dustin, El, and Erica helped Max and Lucas with the invitations and no one saw an issue with this one.

"God, are we both so extremely single that not one of our friends thinks we could find a date?" Steve asks, putting his head in his hands.

"Truly and deeply so fucking single, dude," Eddie says, rubbing a hand over Steve's back to lament with him.

+1.

"Hey, can we talk?" Eddie asks him after dinner one night and Steve's heart immediately starts beating out of his chest.

That phrase, even uttered by a friend, out of blue, makes him think something is wrong. He has the irrational thought that he's about to get friend-broken up with or that maybe Eddie wants to get his own place or something, which would really fucking suck.

They've lived together for a long time and are kind of co-parents to a cat now - it would just be a supremely inopportune time for Eddie to suddenly decide he wants out.

Eddie must see the anxiety in his expression because he quickly says, "No, it's nothing bad. It's just- it's actually something good, I'm hoping."

"Uh, okay," Steve says, wringing his hands a little with worry.

Eddie takes a deep breath and says, "So you know how I haven't really been interested in going out or hooking up lately?"

Steve nods, his heart finally calming down a little. Eddie hasn't wanted to go out lately, but it's fine - Steve hasn't really been all that interested either, more content to just lounge around the apartment with Eddie than to go out and try to meet new people.

"It's because there's someone I'm kind of interested in right now, but I'm not sure if he likes me back. It's a close friend, so I've been debating whether or not to say anything because I don't want to screw things up if he doesn't feel the same," Eddie says.

Steve's eyebrows furrow trying to think of who Eddie could be into. The thought that he might be into Jeff or Grant or Gareth, one of his closest friends, makes something in Steve's stomach swirl. He's not sure he likes that. Eddie dating a close friend, moving out to move in with him, sharing a life with him - that leaves a bad taste in Steve's mouth.

But it's Eddie - and Eddie deserves to be happy - so he says, "I think if you like someone, even a friend, you should tell him. If he's into guys, I mean. He'd be a fool to say no to you, whoever he is."

The smile that lights up Eddie's face is a little painful to see for some reason.

"I was hoping you'd say that," Eddie says.

Steve expects Eddie to get up and leave, to go find whoever it is he's into, but he stays put, on the couch next to Steve.

He reaches out and takes one of Steve's hands in his, still looking at him, like he's waiting for something.

Thoughts churn through his brain, first wondering why Eddie would hold his hand when he's apparently in love with one of his friends, and then realizing that he's probably also in the category of people Eddie considers a close friend and then-

Oh.

"Me?" Steve whispers, eyes wide.

That smile is still there, fond and happy.

"You," Eddie says, squeezing his hand.

"But why though?" he blurts out.

Eddie laughs. "We kind of share a life together, dude. We have a cat together and a home. And like, I don't think I've ever wanted anyone the way I want you, so there's also that."

Steve looks at him and thinks about their friendship up until this point, thinks about them deciding to move in together, to keep the stray cat Eddie found, the natural stop to them going out to clubs and bars in favor of staying in together and curling up on the couch.

He thinks of waking up for a week straight on vacation with Eddie's arms wrapped around him, feeling safe in his arms.

He thinks about the feelings that wrap around his heart and squeeze when he looks at Eddie sometimes.

He thinks about Eddie's hand in his right now.

He squeezes his hand back.

"I did say whoever you were into would be stupid to say no to you," he says.

"You did say that," Eddie says. His cheeks are a little flushed and Steve is overcome with the urge to pepper kisses all over them.

He scoots closer on the couch and says, "I meant it."

Eddie leans in closer and says, "I want to kiss you, but I want to be sure that we're on the same page. Like, it's not just about wanting to fuck you, which I do by the way-"

Steve interrupts and says, "I mean, I kind of got that when you said you didn't want to ruin your friendship if I didn't feel the same."

"Shut up, I'm trying to confess my love to you," Eddie says.

"Love?" Steve teases.

The blush on Eddie's face deepens, spreading down his neck. "Kind of. I mean, I've known you for how long now? I think it's kind of impossible to know you and not love you."

There's heat prickling behind Steve's eyes, embarrassingly enough. "I'm gonna kiss you," he says, instead of addressing how that one line has absolutely swept him off his feet.

He pushes closer, closing the small distance between them, getting his mouth on Eddie's for the first time.

Eddie sighs against his mouth, this pleased little sound that lights Steve up from the inside. He wants to kiss Eddie until he's dazed with it, wants to hear all the noises Eddie can make, wants to draw them out of him with his mouth and his hands.

Eddie kisses him and kisses him and kisses him until his mouth feels tender under Eddie's.

He pushes Steve backwards on the couch to lay on top of him, his hips in the cradle of Steve's thighs. He keeps kissing him as he settles his weight on top of Steve, their bodies pressed flush together.

They lick into each other's mouths for a long minute, just tongues tasting each other and mouths moving together.

Steve is working up the courage to touch Eddie, to put his hands on him, when he hears him hiss in pain. He pulls away from Eddie's mouth and sees Trick clawing her way up Eddie's arm to get on the couch.

Eddie sits up and pulls her off his arm and deposits her on Steve's chest. She immediately steps on his windpipe in an attempt to curl up near his head.

"God, your daughter is so mean to me," Steve says as he moves her off his neck.

"To you?" Eddie asks, looking at his arm to make sure he's not bleeding. "It was my arm that she clawed."

Eddie's still perched between Steve's legs, but with Tricky on the couch, there's no way they can go back to making out.

And-

"I have to tell Robin," Steve says.

Eddie grins at him and asks, "Immediately after our first kiss? You're gonna run over to her place?" There's no judgment in his voice and that makes something in Steve's chest feel tender - that Eddie knows how he is with Robin and isn't weird about it.

"Yeah, it won't take long. I'll be back before you know it." Steve watches as Eddie climbs off him and adjusts himself in his pants. He covers Patricia's ears and says, "Trick won't like it, but when I get back, we can lock her out of the bedroom so she can't interrupt us next time."

"Oh yeah? And what are we gonna do 'next time'?" Eddie asks.

"Whatever you want," Steve says, watching the flush return to Eddie's face.

He bites back a grin and says, "Hurry back. I'll, uh, I don't know. I'll get myself ready or something."

Heat floods Steve's veins. "You gonna be waiting for me with a rose in your mouth when I get back?" he teases, trying to dissipate some of that heat.

"I think you're the roses boyfriend, not me."

"Boyfriend?" Steve asks, standing up from the couch.

"Boyfriend," Eddie says, cupping his jaw and kissing him again. It's easy to get swept up in it, the feeling of Eddie's mouth moving against his, the feeling of Eddie's hands on his waist.

He pulls back from the kiss with a slick noise and says, "I'll be back in like twenty minutes."

Eddie nods and lets him go.

Steve grabs his keys and heads over to Robin and Vickie's apartment where he knows Robin will be.

"Bobbin," he calls out as soon as he opens the door to her apartment.

"In here," she calls back from the kitchen.

He rounds the corner of the kitchen and says, "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Eddie."

He watches several emotions pass over her face, none of them excitement, and deflates a little bit.

She says, "Okay?" like it's a question, like she's confused.

"Like, we're dating now and I'm. We like each other and I'm pretty sure it's more than that for both of us," he say, hoping to get some kind of reaction from her.

"I don't understand," she says.

"What's not to understand? Eddie and I- we're together now," he says, in case she didn't get it the first time.

Robin squints at him and says, "Okay, but you've never wanted to talk about it before. What's changed?"

"What do you mean, what's changed? We kissed and he said he was confessing his love to me. I thought you'd be happy?" His chest feels a little tight at the thought of Robin not approving. He really thought she'd be happy.

"Did you, like, break up and not tell me? Why would him confessing his love to you warrant a house call? Where is this coming from?" she asks, and Steve's moment of hurt is replaced with a deep sense of confusion because they are somehow not on the same page about this.

What the hell is she talking about?

"Rob, what do you mean break up?" he asks, feeling off-balance.

"I mean, you and Eddie have been together for years nowso I'm not sure what you're talking about." She looks in his eyes and then lights up. "Oh, are you trying to tell me you're exclusive now? That's exciting!"

Steve just stares at her for a minute, memories of the weird things his friends say to him and Eddie and the weird things that happen coming rushing to the surface. The weird conversations he's had with Robin over the years, feeling like they were talking about two different things. The first vacation where they shared a bed together even though there was a room with two beds, and how it happened again the next time they all went on vacation together. Dustin letting Eddie sit in the front seat of his car. The one, singular wedding invitation.

He's not even sure how to broach the fact that his friends all apparently thought he and Eddie have been together for years, but he says, "Eddie and I weren't dating before now. We literally just got together. We, like, literally just had our first kiss less than fifteen minutes ago."

"That's not funny, Steve. You guys have been in each other's pockets for closing in on five years now," Robin says, coming to sit on a bar stool at the kitchen island. "You, you live together and have a cat together."

He can see her mentally going through all the things she thought about them as he comes to sit next to her.

He gently says, "We weren't together before. We were only friends before today. I'm not sure what we did to make you think that we were together, but you know I'd talk to you about anyone I was dating, even Eddie."

"It's not just me!" Robin says, looking at him again with a piercing stare. "It's everyone! We all know. Or we thought you were together. I'm so confused. How is it possible that you've never kissed before? Like, wait a minute."

She stops talking and puts her head in her hands.

"What are you doing?" he asks her when she doesn't say anything for a couple minutes.

She pinches the bridge of her nose as she says, "I'm trying to channel my memories. Because there has to be a time where I asked you point blank if you were seeing Eddie and you said yes."

"I can guarantee you won't find that memory. Because it doesn't exist. Because Eddie and I weren't dating. Until now," he says.

"You went to Max and Lucas' wedding together!" she says, looking at him triumphantly.

"Not really," he says. "We thought everyone just thought we were both terminally single or something and that's why they sat us together."

Robin smacks her hand against her forehead. "This makes no sense to me. Wait, I asked you if you were in an open relationship before! We talked about it at the club and again when you moved in together. How do you explain that?" she asks.

"That time at the club, I thought you were talking about him ditching me to hook up. It didn't bother me. That's literally all I said. Not that we were in an open rela- wait, you really thought I'd be in an open relationship with someone?"

"I know! It never made sense to me! You're like the most monogamous person I know," Robin says. "Okay, I get that we crossed wires there, but what about when you moved in together? I talked to you about it then too. You said you had rules about hooking up."

He can see how saying that might have been misleading. He says, "I meant like, rules about keeping it down, not about us dating and hooking up with other people." He feels a headache coming on.

Robin looks just as exasperated as he feels. She looks like she's grasping at straws when she says, "You're always together and you touch each other all the time. When I've seen you cook together, you're always bumping his hip or hand-feeding him extra ingredients."

"We live together, of course we found a groove cooking together." he says.

"A groove, okay," she says, rolling her eyes. "But even before then, you were always hanging out."

"Because he's my closest guy friend? Closest friend in general other than you," he says, still so unsure how he missed his entire friend group thinking they were together.

Steve doesn't know how this happened - how all his friends could have thought they were together when he didn't even know how he felt about Eddie until today. How could he have missed this?

But listen.

Steve has never claimed to be a smart man.

If anything, he thinks Eddie should have caught on long before he ever did, so he's holding strong that it's not his fault he didn't see the signs. If Eddie couldn't see them either, how the hell was Steve supposed to be able to?

"And now you're boyfriends," Robin says, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"And now we're boyfriends," he agrees.

She grins over at him and says, "That's the first time you've said the b-word. This is the first time we've talked about it and you said the b-word. You really weren't dating before now."

He shakes his head. "We really weren't. And I seriously can't believe you ever bought me saying we were in an open relationship. It's like you don't know me at all," he says with a sniff.

"No, I was extremely confused about it, but you were happier with him than anyone else I've ever seen you with, so it didn't matter what I thought, you know?"

Steve's face smooths out at that and his heart melts a little. He loves her so much.

He hugs her to his side and she playfully shoves him away.

"I can't believe I've had it wrong - we've all had it wrong - this whole time. The more I think about it, though, the more it makes sense that you weren't together. Like, I expected you to be talking about him all the time, but you never really gushed about him to me. At first, I thought it was because it was your first boyfriend, you know?" she says.

He nods. He can get that. What he can't get is- "You were okay with me not talking about him, sure. But you really think I wouldn't kiss a guy I was dating in front of you? Or hold his hand?"

Robin shrugs and runs a hand over her forehead like she's getting a headache from thinking about it. "I thought you were just shy at first. Again, the boy thing. And then it was just habit not to or maybe Eddie wasn't into PDA- I was just guessing. And, I, everyone thought it, so it's not just me. You guys literally adopted a cat together, how were we supposed to take that any other way?" she asks in an exasperated tone.

"She's Eddie's, technically."

"You're telling me Patricia's not your daughter?" Robin asks.

"No, she is. But Eddie's the one that found her, so I'm just her step-dad," he says.

Robin stands up from where she's seated and says, "See! You say shit like that all the time and expect us not to think you're dating him?"

He winces. "Yeah, I kind of see it now. Well, good news is that we are dating now and I'm gonna go home and fuck him about it."

Robin rolls her eyes. "Christ, I can't believe I ever thought you could be dating him and be anything other than like that about him."

"Oh Robbie, when we come up for air, you're gonna wish we weren't like that about each other. Apparently, we've got like five years of PDA to make up for," he says with a grin.

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 3

Part 3:

Liana hadn't seen Art for three days. Ever since they started studying at Stanford, not a day had gone by without his presence being felt. Even if just for five minutes, he would pop up suddenly and disappear just as quickly. Liana wouldn’t say it out loud, but his presence had started to grow on her. She was never the most popular kid or the most popular teen. She always had two or three friends. And Art, it's not very clear who he is in her life, but he's a figure that's there. Present. Breathing the air she breathes. Knowing the people she knows. Laughing at her words, annoying her with his. She hadn't seen him for three days and it's bothering her. So today, she decided to go to the open practice for the first time, and Art wasn't there either.

"Are you looking for Art?" a female voice sounded behind her, and she turned around. Facing her was Tashi. Liana searched for the words, something that was always complicated for her; finding words in front of people she didn’t know or felt threatened by. Right now, she needed to answer 'yes' or 'no', and all she could do was stare. "You're Liana, right? Patrick showed me a picture of you with the boys, and I’ve seen you a few times with Art. Are you looking for him?" she explained and asked again. "Oh, yeah..." Liana managed to find her voice, feeling the blood rushing to her cheeks. Unwanted color flooding in. "Did you see him?" she squeaked, trying to steady herself in front of the girl before her. "He just texted that he wasn't coming to practice today. Nice to finally meet you. Maybe we can have lunch sometime." She smiled briefly and moved towards the court, leaving Liana in the stands. A bit more worried than she had been before.

She knocked on his door three times. Then another three. And then six more. After the fifth round, he opened it for her. It was the first time she had been in his room, and he couldn't hide his surprise. "Li?" Art's voice sounded weaker than usual. "You didn't come to the open practice," she said coolly, looking at him and furrowing her brows. He didn't look good. In fact, he looked like shit. His hair looked greasy, his cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were sunken with dark circles around them. Art Donaldson looked awful. "What happened to you?" She gave his arm a light push, which made him lose his balance and almost fall, but he understood her intention and moved aside. He ran a hand through his hair, a tic she knew he had; when Art was nervous, frustrated, or confused, his hand automatically went to the back of his neck, a few seconds of that until he gets a grip and acts as if nothing had thrown him off balance. "You were at the open practice?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Stuck on that piece of information. Almost wanting to request that the sentence be engraved on his tombstone when the time came. 'Here lies Art Donaldson, whose open practice Liana Levi attended.' His parents would surely be thrilled. "For four and a half minutes, then I realized you weren't there." She said as she walked to the window and opened it. "Your room stinks," she stated, turning her gaze back to him. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" she added. Sure, they weren't best friends, but they were supposed to be each other's emergency contact. They were supposedly here together. He made sure to remind her of that once a day. And now, in a real emergency, he wasn't talking to her. "Because it doesn't matter, I already feel better," he tried to speak in a more upbeat tone, one he thought characterized him but failed miserably at it. Her hand was on his forehead, causing him to immediately lean into it and close his eyes. "You're burning up, damn it, Art." She moved her hand from his forehead to his cheek, realizing that the situation might be worse than she thought and beginning to think of a plan. "Okay, I need you to get in the shower, alright?" she spoke softly. He looked at her, his mouth half-open. "Where's your spare key?" she asked, without looking at him too much, opening the closet intending to find clean sheets there. Art watched her bustle around his room, and despite feeling awful, worse than he had felt probably in the last two years, he found himself smiling. Liana was worried about him. She would make sure he was okay. "Art, do you hear me? I need you to get in the shower, I'm going to get a few things. Can you do that for me? I'll be back in half an hour." she said assertively, and he handed her the key as she requested. "Please be done with your shower when I get back." She ran her hand over his forehead once more, almost causing him to surrender to her touch and close his eyes again, but just as she had entered like a storm, she left like one.

Liana went down to the cafeteria after making a phone order. She returned to her room with the soup and grabbed the bag she had prepared for Art. When she entered his room, the shower water was still running, so she decided to use the time to change his sheets and put the lemon, ginger, and honey in his fridge. He came out in a towel and looked at her, leaning against the doorframe. He felt blessed. His head hurt, he had sneezed forty times that day, and all his muscles ached, yet he felt blessed. "You didn't have to, Li..." he mumbled, and she turned to him. "Good, you're out. Get dressed and eat the soup. If it's cold, let me know and I'll go heat it up." There was a microwave on each floor, so that was an option. Art went back to the bathroom and put on long pants, unable to bring himself to wear a shirt. "I also brought you some pills I had. If you need anything else, I can go get it, this is just what I had in my room," Liana babbled, realizing she was behaving in an uncharacteristic way. It dawned on her too late that Art probably thought she was crazy. More than that, that he didn't want her presence in his room right now. She had invaded his personal space and decided on her own that she was there to stay, when he hadn't really invited her. He had done everything to avoid seeing her in the past few days. He sat down to eat the soup at his desk, unable to take his eyes off her for fear she would disappear and he would be alone again, wallowing in his own misery. "Is it hot?" she asked, not knowing what else to say. "It's great. Thanks, Li," he smiled sincerely, and she reached her hand towards his forehead again. "Can I?" she made sure to ask this time, hesitating and seeing him nod. Her hand moved from his forehead to his cheek automatically, and he sighed for a second. "You're still warm." Her brow furrowed again. "When you finish, take this pill, okay? It's supposed to help with the fever..." she added, starting to gather her things. "Are you leaving?" he asked. Art's voice sounded more desperate than he intended. He wanted to sound indifferent, as if he didn't mind being alone. As if the last three days hadn't been an isolated nightmare filled with self-pity. "You can stay a bit longer. If you want," he added quickly, saying the sentence fast as if it would make it vanish from the air. "Okay," Liana said and nodded. "We can watch an episode of 'Gilmore Girls'," she smiled. Every summer, she forced Art and Patrick to watch a few episodes of 'Gilmore Girls'. If she had to be stuck with them, at least some of the time they would do what she loved. She was sure they liked the show because sometimes they would make comments about it. Art shrugged while finishing the soup, acting as if he didn't care if she stayed or not. In reality, he wanted to smile victoriously because he had won today. No one could argue that Art was the winner of this day. "You can take a shirt from my closet if you want," he told her, and she nodded. If they were going to watch an episode of the show, they would watch it on his laptop, in his bed. She couldn't stay dressed in jeans, and besides, they had seen each other in much less clothing over the years. So Liana put on one of his oversized boxers and a Stanford shirt that was at least two sizes too big for both of them. Art looked at her and nodded for a moment, lying down in bed and waiting for the moment she would say it was too much for her. That despite all her good intentions, she and Art weren't going to share a bed just so he could feel better. They hadn't done that since they were six, probably because she wouldn't even sit next to him on the same couch. "We're in Logan's season, are you excited?" she asked with exaggerated enthusiasm and sat down next to him. He automatically pulled her closer. "Aren't you afraid of getting sick?" he felt like the biggest jerk in the world for asking only after he had pulled her that close. "My immune system has never let me down, Donaldson, and it’s not going to let me down today." She started the episode while getting comfortable next to him.

As the episode progressed, her hand found its way to his hair, playing with one of his blonde curls that, just like Art Donaldson himself, had grown on her. "That feels nice…" his voice was barely audible as he was close to falling asleep, his head half on the pillow and half on her shoulder while his arm was wrapped around her. Just before Art fell asleep, focused on Liana's breathing and her fingers in his hair, instead of the show, he realized he didn't need much to feel good.

heyyy there. How are we feeling about this chapter? I hope the slow burn isn't too slow for you...any thoughts? I know that Patrick wasn't here at all, but he'll have his comeback, don't worry. Also, should I do a tag list? It feels a little too much since I really don't know if there are readers who want to come back. I really want to hear from you so feel free to talk to me (PLEASE). By the way- I still feel like my English is ruining the story, but again, I'm trying. Thanks for reading. It means a lot ❤️

[eggcats]

Radiostatic fic, where when Vox is watching the hotel prepare for the Extermination and is like “they're going to FIGHT?!” he (internally) freaks out and decides to use the opportunity to try to get a deal out of the princess of hell himself. After all, he has the tech to fight - Angelic Security - it'd be remiss of him to not offer it to the princess and raise his status over that old timey prick!

–

“Vox, you of all people know that Angelic Security shit is a scam. Get your ass back in the chair.”

“Nonsense, Velvette! It's simply…untested. And what better way to beta test its worth than by using it against a direct assault from heaven?”

“If you die, I'm taking your room.”

–

So he goes over to the hotel to offer his help.

(Vaggie tries to stab him when he asks for a deal in exchange, and he doesn't know why he's so desperate to help, so he decides to offer it free of charge).

Alastor tries to veto it entirely, citing how all of his technology is both flashy and useless, but he's outvoted by Charlie. (She doesn't trust Vox, nor does she believe in his tech, but she's not in any position to not accept help where she can get it - at worst, she figures it doesn't work and Vox abandons them).

Alastor and him ignore one another to the best of their abilities - they're both too busy (and stressed) to even really bother with their normal hostilities. The most they do are just a few snarky lines whenever they cross paths, but overall it's fine. (Vox will absolutely not admit to himself that it's kind of nice to not be at each other's throats, for once. They've even had to work together once or twice).

So now Vox is struggling to help the hotel with the oncoming assault, and convinces himself that he'll be long gone before any real danger arrives - he's only here on the off chance they survive to up the status of the Vees. (Totally no other reason).

Except. He doesn't leave the night before, and surprises even himself by showing up ready for the fight.

And the fight actually seems to be going really well! (Vox refuses to acknowledge being impressed by Alastor’s shield, even to himself).

But then. Not too long after the shield breaks, Adam appears. And Vox doesn't understand why he feels like his heart has stopped for the second time. He does his best to ignore it, but then Adam effortlessly kills Pentious and all he can think about is the same thing happening to Alastor.

(He can't die like that loser, I'm the only one allowed to kill him! There's no way that pretentious angelic prick took him down!)

When Lucifer finally arrives to take down Adam, Vox disappears. He will find Alastor, because no one but him is allowed to kill him. He refuses.

Vox finds where Alastor was injured, but with him not being there Vox knows there's only one place he'd go - his radio tower. And he's right! He finds Alastor, alive! (Vox does not admit, even to himself, the blatant relief that goes through him).

Alastor does his best to defend himself, assuming that Vox is there to end him. However, Alastor is barely functioning and despite his best efforts, Vox isn't deterred.

–

“I'm here to help you, asshole! Let me see that injury so we can fix it, and then we can try to kill each other!”

–

Vox refuses to take no for an answer, and does stitch up Alastor's injury. (Vox cannot believe Alastor even survived it).

He succeeds in closing his wound, and ends up looking like he's lost a fight to a badger - covered in scratch and bite wounds. Vox complains about it the entire time, but he's secretly relieved Alastor is alive enough to not take his help lying down.

Anyway, after his help, Alastor finally gets himself ready to return to the hotel. (When he first stands up, he falters and tries to catch himself with his staff - obviously it fails with it broken - and Vox catches him instead. They refuse to look at each other as Vox helps Alastor leave his radio tower and walk back to the hotel).

It's not until Alastor asks Vox how long before he can expect to be on the news that Vox realizes he has no intention of letting anyone know that Alastor is injured. (Alastor obviously doesn't believe him, but Vox does keep quiet about it. He doesn't even tell Charlie when Alastor does his best to keep it from her, as well).

It's not until they arrive with the brand new hotel, Lucifer being present, and everyone recovering after the failed Extermination, that Vox realizes he intends on staying at the hotel, even without his original excuse.

(He needs to make sure Alastor recovers, after all).

[wttcsms]

a very old atsumu draft from 2021 that im afraid won't make it out the gdocs, but i reread it and realized how silly and light it was & maybe you guys will too!!!!

atsumu miya’s guide to escaping from the friend zone, atsumu miya x f!reader

third year au, enemies to lovers, shoujo manga vibes* features romcom elements, knowing each other since childhood, he falls first AND he falls the absolute hardest, getting together, miscommunication as a means to be comedic not for poorly manufactured drama/angst, lighthearted with a happy ending, no angst 1k written, est. ~10k when completed 

STEP ONE: ACTUALLY GET TO THE FRIEND ZONE FIRST

You’re in love with Atsumu Miya — you just don’t know it yet. 

At least, that’s what Atsumu claims as he speaks with his mouth full, bits of rice flying out of his mouth, leaving everyone in his immediate vicinity disgusted. 

“She doesn’t even know you exist, idiot.” Osamu doesn’t look amused as he pulls his bento box closer to himself, trying to avoid the hailstorm that is Atsumu’s half chewed grains of rice. 

“She does!” He’s awfully indignant when he replies, looking like he’s about to make a move to slap his brother but thinks better of it. As captain of the Inarizaki Boys’ Volleyball team, he has to learn to behave lest he lose the title altogether. 

“Wanting you dead isn’t the same thing as loving you,” Rintarou is quick to chime in, and the first and second years on the team snicker.

“It’s a work in progress.” Atsumu snaps, failing to mention that you loving him has been a ‘work in progress’ for the past decade and counting. 

(Not like he’s, you know, obsessively keeping track. Definitely not.) 

The two of you have been attending the same school since your elementary days. On the first day of class, your teacher made everyone hold hands with the person next to them, and a five year old Atsumu just so happened to be the person seated next to a five year old you. 

“This person is going to be your buddy for the rest of the school year!” Your teacher exclaimed, clapping her hands together and smiling too cheerfully for so early in the morning. 

Then, someone had exclaimed that boys had cooties, and every girl buddied with a boy immediately took back their hand, either on the brink of tears and dramatically turning up their nose in disgust. 

Atsumu likes to claim that this is where things went wrong (never minding the fact that you had been the only girl not to drop a boy’s hand), but what really started your dislike for him (that has since spiraled into his closest friends thinking you want their captain dead) happened in middle school. 

As fate would have it, you were seated in front of Atsumu for math. He had (still does) a bad habit of chewing gum as loudly and obnoxiously as possible (from your perspective, anyway; truthfully, Atsumu just lacks self-awareness). He made it hard to concentrate during lectures and tests, and midway through the year, you complained to your teacher. 

(“Why do you not want to be seated close to Mr. Miya, hmm?” Your teacher smiled at you, his tone light and teasing. “Is it because of a crush?” 

“Gross! No! I do not have a crush on Miya!” Your eyes were wide, and you were shaking your head. “He just gets on my nerves. He’s always stealing my pencils and smacking on gum and hiding my textbook-“ 

“You know, Miss [Surname], middle school boys are mean to girls they like. I’m afraid that my seating charts are always permanent, but even if they weren’t, I think I would make Mr. Miya very upset if I moved you.” 

“Who cares about that? He’s so annoying. Let him bother someone else!” 

“Ah, [Surname], class is only in session for a few more months. If it gets worse, then we’ll see to adjusting the seating arrangements. For now, let’s get you back to your desk and focused on these fractions.” Your math teacher doesn’t bother hiding a smile as he jokes with you. “You better be careful; he might yank your hair and think it’s a proper declaration of love.” 

Your math teacher never tells you that Atsumu spent two weeks of summer break cleaning this classroom to get seated next to you.) 

The complaining didn’t work, and you were still stuck in the same seat in front of Atsumu. Then, one day, while he was ignoring the teacher’s lecture and giving his attention to something more worthwhile (such as the back of your head), Atsumu noticed a spider crawling from your back and aiming upwards, towards your hair. He watched in morbid fascination as the spider made its way into your strands of hair, and he reacted quickly, not quite thinking things through. 

He grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled, forcing you to tilt back with a yelp, which then caused the entire class to turn and stare at the two of you. 

The spider was nowhere to be found, at least, but your teacher had to stop his lesson, shaking his head while he walked to the classroom phone. 

“Honestly, Mr. Miya, what goes on in your head?” The teacher sounded like he was holding back laughter as he dialed the principal’s office. 

Meanwhile, you straightened yourself out and turned to glare at Atsumu, who could only give you a sheepish grin in return. 

“Sorry,” he told you, not sounding the least bit sorry. “Ya should be thankin’ me—“ 

“Thanking you?” You practically yelled it out. “I should be beating you. What is your problem with me, Miya?” 

And that was the moment when Atsumu Miya realized that getting you to fall in love with him might be a bit of a struggle. 

But that was then, and this is how. Now, you’re both in your third year of high school. Now, Atsumu is the captain of a team that’s an absolute powerhouse. Now, Atsumu is a box blond and despite his harsh attitude, girls are still vying for his attention. 

He figures it’s only a matter of time before you come to your senses and join them. 

You never do, though, and now he’s stuck rethinking his master plan. His friends are no help whatsoever, and the school year is going to fly by if he’s not careful. He knows you’ve been accepted to Tokyo U, and he knows that he’s probably not heading to college — not when professional scouts are watching his games and have the power to sign him right after graduation. He’ll never have a chance to be this close to you ever again, and he has to act now. 

“Work in progress, my ass.” Rin snorts. “You’ll be lucky to even be her friend at this point.” 

Now, Atsumu doesn’t like to consider other people as geniuses, but he’ll settle for considering Rintarou his muse. All this time, Atsumu’s been trying to get you to love him, completely disregarding the fact that you have to like someone before that can happen. 

And people like their friends. For the most part. 

“Ya know what, Rin? You might actually have a point.” 

“There was no point. I was making fun of you. Whatever you’re thinking about doing, here’s actual advice: don’t.” No one on the team is particularly surprised when Atsumu doesn’t take that advice.