#;; let me know if this is inconvenient bc then I will obviously find a different solution

[pctioneer]

Odette ( @gentlepuff​ )

Odette ended up drifting to sleep within an hour or so of being left to her thoughts. She didn't know how long she was asleep for, it was only until she heard the clanking of a mug on the table that she groggily woke up. She had to force herself to open her eyes and sit up before standing up slowly. She brushed and fixed her hair to at least look presentable and then made her way to the table she hoped her would be sat at. She didn't make eye contact yet as she was busy pouring herself a cup of tea to drink and warm herself up. It was only until she finished her first sip of tea. She waited for him to speak first since he was the adult.

While he was far from looking forward to their upcomming conversation, Severus releases a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding when Odette joins him for his morning coffee. Had she been as appalled by what she’d found out as he thought she might be, she certainly wouldn’t deign to sit down at the same table as him. She didn’t say much- if anything- but that he could understand. It’s not as though she could outright ask him about the mark.  

A few seconds are spent in perfect silence - both of them consciously avoiding eye-contact. then Severus very deliberately meets her eyes && holds them. 

                   “You haven’t left.” 

It’s an observation - not a question. A means of trying to get an idea of where she stood. 

[coff-in]

HAII GUESS WHO'S BACK AGAIN!! Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

can i request ashley with a fem reader (either the same one, or a different one entirely) but with ashley's like... unhingedness and yandere(?) attitude cranked up to the max? like, reader can already hardly talk to anyone else as is but i feel like with that cranked up more than usual, she probably really tries to isolate reader from friends, potential love interests, and even family members to a certain extent. (　＾∀＾)

i'd imagine jobs are super finicky too, reader can probably never hold down a job too well because of whatever ashley throws a fit, likely over reader leaving (reader tries to have the discussion that she needs job because job = money!! it probably works at first and then falls onto deaf ears later on (　・ω・))

if reader tries to leave the situation? ashley probably blackmails her into staying with whatever she has for leverage or do the classic old "i'm the only person willing to be by you!!" type shtick that manipulative people tend to do ( ｡ﾟДﾟ｡) if reader does leave successfully you bet there's going to be hell until ashley inevitably finds reader. i am running out of fuel though;; so insert potential dubcon/noncon situation here

i should've specified this earlier and you don't need to rewrite my one req bcs you didn't know but i just ask for no incest in my asks due to some personal reasons ( ＞Д＜；) please don't feel bad, though, since you didn't know!! i'm pretty much open to anything but incest and all the grossout fetishes, though! ^^ again, i am so sorry for the inconvenience on that part!! ( ´д｀､)

also ^^ just assume all my reqs will be fem or gen neutral reader ﾟ+.ﾟ(´▽`人)ﾟ+.ﾟ

- 🕊

notes from coff-in: i'm sorry, i didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable about the incest (i think it might've been the petplay one? but lmk if i'm wrong if you want to). BUT thank you for telling me this! i'll try to keep it in mind in the future when responding to your asks :) and thank you for requesting! :D there's no smut in here, just some dialogue and me trying to get a hang of their dynamics is all. you can interpret this as the previous [reader] to your other asks if you want :3 lmk what you think

[fem] reader-insert

The phone rings once, twice, thrice. Then once, twice, and thrice again. You're hoping that he'll pick up. You don't know how long Ashley'll stay asleep. Your worry and frustration grows as you notice how cold you're getting, standing outside. The sky is blue but not sunny. It is very early in the morning. You made sure to come out at this time on purpose.

Once, twice, thrice-- and then it picks up.

"Hello?" The voice on the other side is low and groggy. You obviously had just woken him up. Good, you think, he should be awake. I should be inconveniencing him.

"Andrew. It's [reader]." You don't try to make small talk, you want to get straight to the point with this, "Have you talked to Ashley recently?"

He groans, "Yeah... I talked to her yesterday. Why?" The cold air only adds to the apparent bitterness in your voice.

"Can you please tell her that I have to leave the house to work so I can make money?"

There's a tense pause... "What?"

You sigh, "Ashley won't let me leave to go to work. I am politely asking you to talk to her about letting me go to work." You look back at your apartment, where Ashley decided to sleep over for the night. You hope she's still asleep. "She usually listens to you." She used to listen to you, too.

It's Andrew's turn to sigh. "I can't make her do anything, [reader]--"

"At least fucking try! Please..." You add on that last part in order to not sound like an asshole. "I'm sure the last thing you want is her or me asking you for money. I'm trying to support her too, Andrew, but she's not making it easy. I'm asking you to help me." There are cars loudly passing by and you try to focus on them to calm yourself down. You feel... scared. Scared that this won't work. Scared about what Ashley would do if she caught you talking about her like this. You used to not be scared of her. "And I doubt your parents would fucking help me..."

"Bloody hell..." Andrew groaned and shuffled around on his end of the call, "I'll... I'll, uh, see what I can do." It sounded forced from him. Take your fucking time, you scowl at your phone.

"Thank you." You then promptly hang up the call and stuff your phone in your pocket. You stand outside in the cold for a little bit longer. The birds chirp their songs on the bare branches of trees and clear sky contrasts just nicely against the dark landscape of your apartment's parking lot. You like the blue hour.

But like every hour, it comes and goes, and so do you. You turn tail and climb the steps back to your apartment. Walking down the hallway as quietly as possible, you take out your keys and put them into the lock. However, before you can open the door, it opens for you and you're face-to-face with Ashley Graves.

Shit.

"Where were you?" She's staring you down with a death glare, her face dark and pink eyes burning through your skin and soul. She's mad. She's mad and that's never a good thing. You try your best to steel yourself.

"I was downstairs."

"Why? How come you didn't wake me? What was so important that you had to get up and leave without me?!" She was raising her voice as she dragged you into the apartment, violently slamming the door behind you. You held back a frustrated sigh but couldn't stop a frown from appearing on your face.

"I had to call Andrew for help." The mention of his name made her pause for a bit. You took that window of opportunity to explain yourself, "I asked him to help me with my job. I'm-- we're a little tight on money, Ash. You preventing me from working isn't helping either."

"As if you'd be better working with a bunch of fucking floozies!" She yells with her hands balled into fists, "I'm doing you a fucking service by making you stay here! Those no good whore would probably flaunt all over you and make you do all the hard work by yourself!"

"Ashley..."

"Besides, you don't need to work anyways. Why not just ask you parents for money or something? Why not stay here with me?!"

"Ashley!" You yell at her, causing her to open her eyes and look at you. "I have to work! I have no one else to ask for help because of you! I don't talk to my parents, I have no friends to help, and I barely even talk to my coworkers. All! Because! Of you!" You stomp your foot on the floor childishly, but you can't help it. It's all too familiar. You're just going through the motions at this point. "I'm trying my best to be there for you, Leyley, but you make it so hard! I need you to back off! Give me some space to breathe, please!"

She looks at you bewildered, eyes wide and eyebrows bent downwards. She slowly looks down away from you. "You need some space, huh?"

Oh god dammit. "Ash..."

"I get it. No one wants me around them."

"Ashley."

"I'm just the fuck up of the family, aren't I? But guess, what! So. Are. You. We have no friends, no family, not lovers-- we're stuck with each other." She stares at you with intensity, "You chose me. YOU CHOSE TO BE WITH ME!!! No one else is going to take you in! Only I can love you for the fuck up that you are! No one else can love you the way I do! No you whore mother, not fucking Andrew, NO ONE ELSE BUT ME!" She comes closer and tugs on your shirt, your noses practically touching each other. "You have no one else but me. Got it?"

----

coff-in

[blainehasregrets]

Just know if I didn’t respond to something specifically it’s because I read it like this: 🙂‍↕️ even if I don’t totally agree (like the engagement but we kinda talked about that), I get what you mean and where you’re coming from.

I agree that Santana’s rant had no basis and in a weird sort of way, I’m glad? Because if she had been accurately picking him apart (the way I think Brittany did a scene later) and I saw people going YASSS SANTANA END THAT TWINK I’d be mad but since her rant literally stems from something that’s quite literally not even true, when I see people say she ended him I can simply go

HAHA (but that also doesn’t take away it was kinda of a generally fucked up speech in general (esp bc of the real world reasons it was even added) and, imo, it sadly left the kurtana friendship on a pretty sour note even though it’s heavily implied they made up at the end of the episode)

And YES I agree so strongly about how they both feel about their own feelings especially this:

I feel the difference between how they treat their own feelings is that for Kurt, he views them inconvenient and something private. He does not want to open up because then he may have to let go of total control over the situation but he is also not devoid of emotion enough to be able to bottle it up forever, so he just lets resentment build

And re: Kurt feeling like a man is a veryyy interesting topic to me. To me, I always felt as if, unlike the other men in his life like people like Finn, Puck, or even Blaine and Karofsky, they never had to question growing up if they are a man, they simply Are in the most cis default way possible (which is why they had to have that what is a man lesson a hundred times as teens), but as Kurt is someone who was way more free with his expression, who’s had to face harassment for the way he presents himself or for things that are outside of his control, he’s someone who’s had to think about it more.

Like;

Someone like Finn: is born -> I am a man

Kurt is born -> 〰️➰➿〰️➰-> I am a man

^ imagine those are like loopy arrows that go all over the place but do eventually point to “I am a man”

So like imo, he IS a cis man and that’s actually quite a big part of his character and he says several times he is a man, he’s quite secure in this fact, but he had a much more complicated thought process to get to that conclusion, compared to most other guys who probably never had to think twice about it. You might find this analysis of Kurt’s hat in Grilled Cheesus interesting.

And I think you’re right, he’s not insecure in a way that would make him think he’s Finally a man or whatever after Bash, and I do tend to think it’s lame he serenaded the guys lol it felt a bit unearned ig

I also love the Kurt as an honorary girl thing and I sorta can’t stand when people say it’s him being a gay stereotype because…Kurt is friends with the girls because they’re nice to him the way the boys aren’t! Of COURSE he’d feel more comfortable around them! And I also even think it’s kind of exaggerated HOW often Kurt was even allowed to be with the girls! 😭 like there are soo many times the boys do something together, the girls do something together, and Kurt’s. No where to be found. (Yes/No comes to mind) and Chris had to tell the writers Kurt would rather be with the girls during Summer Nights because they were originally going to have him with the boys (and that’s why it’s doubly annoying when people say that that was an example of the show trying to Make Kurt a girl or equate him to one because it was literally a decision that came from Chris, who obviously understands Kurt)

Blaine’s Transfer To McKinley

One of the more disliked? plot points in Glee is Blaine’s transfer to McKinley. However, it’s always been silly to me that people think this plot made “no sense”, especially from Blaine fans who think Blaine transferring to McKinley meant Blaine was constantly having to relive the trauma from his previous experience in public school and Kurt was inconsiderate for making him transfer.

Don’t get me wrong: He definitely transferred to be with Kurt, and I have no doubt in my mind Kurt was being annoying as hell about it all summer given the scene of him being (playfully) passive aggressive over Blaine still going to Dalton (which makes his whole “pls don’t tell me you transferred for me because what if u resent me 🥺” even funnier lmao oh Kurt). And I also think him transferring in the middle of the episode aka nearly a week into the school year was supposed to show that Kurt was pressuring him. But I also do kind of chalk that up to the fact that The Purple Piano Project was incredibly badly written and they chose the worst possible ways to deliver information, like setting up Juilliard for Hummelberry just to explain to us NYADA a scene later like…! IMO, they could have kept that scene of Klaine in the Lima Bean, like I’m not saying they should take Kurt’s involvement in the decision completely away, but it should have been one of the very first scenes so Blaine could have been there from day 1. But omg all of this is besides the point let me move on…

However! To act as if it was not ultimately Blaine’s decision, and one he’s wanted to make for a while, is missing a huge part of his character. Not only that, I don’t understand how so many people miss this when it’s quite literally one of the very first things Blaine ever says in the show.

In Never Been Kissed, Blaine tells Kurt “I ran, Kurt. I didn’t stand up. I let bullies chase me away and it’s something I really, really regret.”

It’s literally the main thing we are introduced to his character with. Blaine is someone who wants to face his fears, in this case public school, he just hasn’t had an opportunity to do so.

The entire Dalton arc is symbolized by Pavarotti’s cage which comes up several times during season 2, and in Special Education the show frames Dalton as a place that doesn’t foster individuality (even though I think that plot point was uhh badly written because it was as if the writers seemed to forget why Kurt left McKinley in the first place…all of Kurt’s complaints about Dalton applied to McKinley too, but were supposed to forget about it because over on the McKinley side, Mr. Schue chose Fabrevans and Santana for the competition for once. but also all of this is besides the point too!), and the reason why Blaine falls in love with Kurt in the first place is because of Kurt’s independence and need for freedom despite the difficulties he faced, symbolized by him sing Black Bird. Despite the fact that I don’t particularly agree with this sentiment that a safe place like Dalton is “running away”, I think most people know going from a rich private school with no bullying to a shitty public school with tons of it is a massive downgrade, the show makes it abundantly clear that Dalton is not a place where Kurt or Blaine are meant to stay.

So, even logistics aside (because obviously as he was upgraded to a main character, he had to be with the rest of the characters more often which means he had to go to the same school, it’s really not much deeper than that), the show already set up that Blaine wanted to be free from a place like Dalton. Even in Original Song, we get the hint that Blaine is tired of his easy life in the Warblers where he gets all the solos and in Silly Love Songs he compares them to privileged, porcelain birds. To make it seem as if Blaine being at McKinley was traumatic for him or he had 0 choice in the matter and was doing it solely for Kurt is, imo, disingenuous and misses part of his character that gives him his own agency.

And yes I’m saying all of this acknowledging Blaine’s whole “I changed SCHOOLS FOR YOU 😫” thing, because I think it all can be true at once:

Blaine transferred to be with Kurt.

Blaine transferred because it’s something he’s wanted to do.

Blaine had no problem holding it over Kurt’s head when he wanted to.

I feel like none of that is contradictory to each other (or, even if it is hypocritical, it’s hypocritical in a way real people are). People are messy! They can have multiple reasons for doing what they do, and sometimes even when it’s their decision to make, they can still blame another other person for them. (And I say this with love but I mean…Blaine isn’t a stranger to blaming Kurt for something he chose to do, right? Moving out…cheating…Perfectly in character if you ask me!)

I feel like this decision doesn’t require that much suspension of disbelief either, Jesse transfers in season 1 for a couple episodes just to mess with Rachel. Yes it’s not realistic, but many aspects of glee are not and this is one of the ones I think was set up before the decision was even made.

And to be honest, I always thought the whole “Blaine should have stayed at Dalton” to be a pretty boring opinion, but when I was rewatching Purple Piano Project recently, Blaine said Kurt was just scared the Warblers were going to beat the New Directions, I couldn’t help but think that would have been soo interesting to see. The mess and drama that would come out of Klaine having to see each other as rivals…especially when you throw Sebastian into the mix…Blaine, who already couldn’t cope with the distance, having to see his boyfriend as the enemy? I would love to visit an alternate universe where that’s the route glee decided to go with.

But I’m sorry I love “I changed SCHOOLS FOR YOU 😫” and, regardless of all the reasons I’ve listed above, the general craziness it spells for Blaine that he’d transfer to a shitty public school to spend one year with his lazy fucking boyfriend (said affectionately) too much to wish it was changed. I love you canon Klaine!

[elysianslove]

Please wrote more surrogate fics please . could I request one with SakuAtsu or could you just start a series on these. If you'd me comfortable with that. That on IwaOi surrogate fic brought me so much joy. I can't even describe it.

oh my goodness i’d love to!!! it makes me so happy knowing you liked it cause like,,, idk why it’s just special to me :) also im so glad you asked for sakuatsu bc these two ships are basically my favorite jhfgbsj. and yesyes i’d love to have a mini series with like little scenarios of each ship <333

this was insanely long. like insanely. 

content warning; artificial insemination, pregnancy, haikyuu manga spoilers, gay people being happy idk 

being iwaoi’s surrogate 

BEING SAKUATSU’S SURROGATE 

↬ it took forever to even get them together, so with a duo as indecisive as them, it’s imaginable how long the decision to raise a child together took. it took a long, long while for that transition from enemies to lovers to be final, and even then, they hadn’t realized how serious their relationship was until they were off getting married and then suddenly wanting a child? 

↬ it was something atsumu brought up out of the blue, just casually as they sat side by side on the couch. “wouldn’t it be nice if we raised a child together?” and it stuck with sakusa ever since. he didn’t know why he was obsessively thinking about it as much, but it’s all he could think about. literally. anytime he so much as thought about atsumu with a child, and a child of their own too, his stomach did a thousand and one flips. sakusa was never the biggest fan of children, and he knew that neither was atsumu. but, this would be different, wouldn’t it? Still, he tried to remind himself of the cons; they were pro-athletes, they didn’t have time, they didn’t understand the weight of the responsibility, were they even ready for something like that? somedays it was too tiring to take care of themselves, of each other. were they ready to be responsible for a whole life, someone dependent entirely on them? it seemed too— unrealistic. like something he could only hope to dream about, and just dream about.

↬ until he thought of atsumu with a little kid, a spit image of either one of them, sitting on his lap, giggling and laughing and squealing in glee. and so he decided, there will always be cons, he just has to see if the pros outweighed them. and honestly, they did. they were pro-athletes, sure, but that also meant they were financially stable, and could provide for a child, properly. they were mature now, knew each other very well, and had adapted to living with one another. they had family and friends all around. the kid would for sure grow up loved and cared for, and him and atsumu would add another person to their family. it really seemed like a dream, but this time, an attainable one.

↬ so as he ate dinner with his lover, he blurted out, “let’s raise a child together,” and atsumu honest to god choked on his food. he asked sakusa if he was serious, if he meant it, if this was real, and sakusa’s answer was yes to every single one of his question. yes, he was serious; yes, he meant it; yes, this was real. as real as can be.

↬ they both already knew they wanted a surrogate, and it didn’t matter who was the father. so long as the child was theirs.

↬ finding a surrogate was, well, a pain, to put it into perspective. sakusa was so picky about the “requirements,” if you will, and atsumu was suspicious of every single woman, it was kind of ridiculous really. he just “didn’t trust that they wouldn’t run away with the baby!” in his words. atsumu suggested sakusa’s older sister, which seemed perfect in his head, but sakusa refused, claiming it was 1. extremely weird, and 2. he doubted she’d say yes, with her own life to handle.

↬ and it finally, finally, came to atsumu: he could always just ask, well, you. he had met you during his college years, and since then, he’d been coincidentally crossing paths with you ever since then, and you’d even managed their msby jackals team at some point. it was weirdly ironic how he’s coming back to you, kind of like fate.

↬ so he suggested it to sakusa, and for once, the latter didn’t really have any way to object, except, “what if this inconveniences her?” other than that, you were the perfect candidate. they knew you well, trusted you, knew they could rely on you. and atsumu was sure you wouldn’t run with the baby. with regards to the inconvenience part, well, they could always just deal with that when the time came.

↬ they invited you over for some breakfast two days later, after they’d thought about it properly, endlessly, and figured you were their best option. it was weird seeing them so nervous when you first arrived, like they were breaking up with you or something. atsumu barely ate with how nauseous he felt, and sakusa spent the entire time watching you eat instead, hands fidgeting and legs shaking. it was really weird, but you didn’t bring it up, letting them take their own time to tell you whatever it was they wanted to tell you, because obviously, they clearly had something to say.

↬ after breakfast, you sat in their living room, just watching the tv quietly, until sakusa offered to get you some water. you weren’t really thirsty, but you agreed anyways, unsurprised to see atsumu rise from his own seat a minute later with a, “be right back,” as he headed to the kitchen. you could hear them bickering and whisper-yelling, and if you weren’t starting to grow as nervous as they were, you would’ve had it in you to laugh. they returned looking like they were bearing the most daunting of news, sitting down on the couch perpendicular to you. atsumu’s hands were sweaty and intertwined tightly together, while sakusa tried to remain as composed as possible. it seemed like the dark haired man would speak up, finally, parting his mouth with a deep breath.

↬ but it’s atsumu that blurts out, “please have my baby!— our baby. please have our baby.”

↬ honestly, your first response was to laugh, in disbelief, as you clutch your glass of water. but then you see their faces — god they looked so goddamn scared — and you realized that, they were really serious. they really wanted you to carry their baby for them. holy shit?—

↬ you were mostly speechless after that, stuttering as you ask them to please explain, you’re honored but are they are, have they thought about this? properly? in depth?

↬ to your surprise, they really knew what they were doing. they’d done their research, and thought about a million other options before deciding that you were the best one. they also repeatedly told you that you didn’t have to do this, and that they didn’t want to guilt-trip you into doing it either. they wanted you to say yes only if you yourself wanted to say yes, and if this wouldn’t negatively affect you or halt your life in any way. you were the one that was going to be carrying the baby anyways, weren’t you? at the end of the day, this was all about you.

↬ you asked them for time to think about it, and reminded them that it wasn’t a no. you just wanted to make sure you were making the right decision whichever that ended up being. a few days later, you call them, asking them to meet up one way or another, and atsumu’s even more nervous than he was asking you; not even sakusa’s gentle lips to his temple or large hands soothingly rubbing at his back or his kind words could help him. sakusa himself was insanely anxious. in his head, it seemed like your ‘no,’ would finalize everything. that it would really mean no hope in having a child of their own, their very own.

↬ you invite them over to your home, and the kettle is already boiling when they arrive. you make them tea and make small talk if only to delay the inevitable. but, to each of their surprises, you take a deep breath and say, “i’d be honored to carry your baby for you,” with the brightest, warmest smile. sakusa has to bite his inner cheek to will himself to not cry, because he can’t believe you said yes. you agreed. you’re going to carry their baby. him and atsumu were having a baby.

↬ atsumu doesn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around you, collapsing on top of you in tight hug that you kind of can’t breathe, but you let him, and you laugh when he thanks you for saying yes, that he’ll “be forever in your debt.”

↬ it’s the happiest you’ve seen either of them.

↬ when you’re done with the process of insemination (of course, atsumu does joke that the three of you should go the natural way and have a threesome, to which he earns a smack from his lover and a smack from you, at the same time), the three of you just have to wait, really. it’s the longest period of waiting you’ve ever had to do, but you try to be patient, as patient as you can be. when you wake up one morning and throw up, you look at your period tracking app to see if maybe you were pms’ing. except, you weren’t. you were late. like a good three weeks late.

↬ immediately, you’re booking a doctor’s appointment. you wait to tell sakusa and atsumu after confirming your suspicions, because you don’t want to raise their hopes up for nothing. they’ve already been swimming in a pool of doubts ever since the insemination, calling you everyday to check up on you and ask for any progress. when the doctor confirms your pregnancy — holy shit you were pregnant — the first thing you do is go over to their house. you know it’s not the best idea to show up unannounced, but with how long they’ve been waiting, and how much they’ve been wanting this, the more and more you fed into it, you couldn’t wait any longer to tell them. you arrive, and the moment sakusa opens the door for you, you gasp out, “i’m pregnant.”

↬ sakusa’s quite literally frozen in shock, his mouth pressed in a thin line with eyes wide open, while atsumu walks over and goes, “oh hey,” in greeting before noticing sakusa’s face and just ???? “what’s going on?”

↬ “i’m pregnant.”

↬ “you’re what?”

↬ you show them with tears stinging your eyes the results of the test you’d taken at the doctor’s, and atsumu grips the report so tightly, like it’ll disappear if it slips only slightly from his hands. sakusa’s still in shock, trying to process everything. it takes him a good while before he can function properly again.

↬ the pregnancy itself is a lot smoother than you’d imagined. iwaizumi, as their athletic trainer, although not well versed with pregnancy, knew a lot about health and taking care of yourself in general, so he made sure you were always eating right and healthy. he even accompanied you once when sakusa and atsumu couldn’t, to the doctor, and made sure to ask him specifically what you should and shouldn’t be eating. all of the olympic/national team are more excited than anything. they’re insanely protective over you, and always pamper and care for you you when they can, whether that be back/neck/shoulder massages or giving you their food when they notice you eyeing it or letting you lean entirely on any of them for support as you walk. granted, they do make fun of you, especially the bigger your stomach got, but they mean well, really. suna once made fun of you and, because of the hormones, and because he was genuinely just mean, you started to cry. since then, suna swore off bullying you, at least until you gave birth.

↬ osamu is beyond ecstatic to become an uncle. he’s so excited it makes atsumu incredibly emotional. he goes with his brother on trips to ikea to buy a crib and gifts him an insane amount of baby clothes and always begins a conversation with, “how’s the baby?” every time you’re around, osamu’s hand can be found resting on your stomach, soothingly rubbing, excitedly grinning when he feels a kick. he is just so happy for his brother, he could cry.

↬ you ask them if they want a gender reveal when you find out or to keep it until the delivery of the baby, but they’re both insanely impatient (even though sakusa does try to convince atsumu to wait because it’ll be exciting, he himself isn’t even that convinced of that and they just ask you to tell them). with the help of osamu and his and atsumu’s parents, you organize a gender reveal party. the moment he sees the pink smoke, atsumu cheers so loudly it makes you laugh till your stomach hurt. sakusa’s grinning wider than you’ve ever seen him, grabbing atsumu’s face and kissing him, before pulling you into a tight hug. it’s literally the cutest thing ever, everyone just cheering loudly around you and celebrating with you.

↬ when you go into labor, you’re with neither of them, but with osamu, aran, and kita. they were staying the night at a hotel since they had training away from where they lived, and you were spending the night at osamu’s because the fathers of your baby really didn’t want you to be alone so close to your due date, and who better than osamu? your water didn’t break, but you kept having contractions. you were brushing it off as normal pain at the start, but they started to get worse, and closer together in time. kita, because he’s kita, had been keeping track, and told you how far apart your contractions were. to which you went, “contractions?!”

↬ aran’s calling sakusa and atsumu as kita grabs your bag as osamu grabs his keys and helps you to his car. you really couldn’t have been around a better set of men, because they were perfectly composed the whole time, helping you breathe and stay calm by staying calm themselves, reassuring you that you didn’t need to worry and that you will get to the hospital in time. they did flinch every time you screamed or cried out in pain, but aran held your hand the entire drive there, and kita guided you to steadying yourself as osamu drove as fast as he could.

↬ the issue was with sakusa and atsumu. to say they were freaking out would be an understatement. they were positively losing it. atsumu’s anxiety was louder than sakusa’s, but the latter’s was clear as ever on his pale skin and clammy hands. they were so annoying in the delivery room, literally faring worse off than you, who was pushing a whole baby out of her body. when you finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl, atsumu sobbed and sakusa cried in his hands, so maybe it was alright after all.

↬ they literally couldn’t believe their eyes when the nurse handed you the baby and placed her on your chest. she was so, so tiny, so beautiful, and theirs. honestly, you couldn’t hold back your own tears at the sight of her, and at their reaction to her. you held her in your arms as they thanked you, over and over and over again, for the biggest blessing they could ever receive.

↬ despite the fact that you were simply their surrogate, sakusa and atsumu knew they couldn’t just separate you and your baby, and neither could they just take her home all of a sudden. so for the first few months, you stayed in their guest room, but the baby slept in her own room. it was more difficult than you expected it to be when you were leaving her to go back to your own home, but they promised you repeatedly that they’re not really taking her away. it wasn’t as if you couldn’t visit at any time you wanted to come visit her. but at the end of the day, you knew what you had been signing up for, and that she was their daughter.

↬ she grows up to be a gorgeous woman. she’s interested in volleyball, sure, she’d been raised with volleyball players everywhere around her, but it’s not her immediate passion. atsumu thought he’d be more upset about that than he actually was, because he found out that it didn’t matter at all what she wanted to do. hell, if she wanted to do nothing at all and stay home forever with them, he was 100% on board with that. whatever made her happy and healthy, he was okay with. she grows up to be really close and really comfortable with both of her fathers, and they make sure with every passing day that no matter what, she can always come to them. and she does, about every little thing. and each and every time, they listen and advice and guide her properly. a s parents, they’re a perfect balance of strict and lenient. they set and raise her to never cross those boundaries, but otherwise they give her complete freedom. they respect her privacy, her decisions, everything.

↬ there was a day when she came back home from school, and they had taken a biology class for kids, where a teacher had explained periods to them. obviously, as curious as ever, she’d asked her dads about it, because she didn’t really get it. she wanted to know the how’s and the why’s and the what’s and the when’s. with every passing second atsumu had felt his lifespan shorten. eventually he suggested they call you, who she knew as her ‘aunt’ for the time being, since you were a woman and nobody would really explain it better than you. when she did get her period eventually, and had to sheepishly and shyly ask her dads to go to the store for her because she needed, um, supplies, atsumu lost it. sakusa had to try and calm him down all while laughing as he got ready to go to the store for her, because the drama of miya atsumu never gets old. he just couldn’t believe she was already getting her period. what the hell! what the actual hell!

↬ of course, he proceeded to embarrass her by telling osamu, telling sakusa’s parents, telling his parents. not cool :(

↬ when she was old enough, especially to understand the concept of being a surrogate (oh my god the sex talk was a whole other insufferable thing), they told her about you, and that you were actually her biological mother and not just an ‘auntie.’ she tried to be angry at them for keeping it from her, but she was honestly more excited about finding out than anything. it brought the two of you closer together, and for the next mother’s day, she organized a whole brunch for you, her and her dads, got you a gift, flowers, everything. yeah, you did cry.

↬ you genuinely have never been more satisfied and thankful for a decision like this one, ever, especially because of how much of a blessing the outcome had been.

can u tell this isn’t my first time thinking about this. ever since i posted the iwaoi one i’ve been wanting to do a sakuatsu one, but i didn’t really know whether anyone had enjoyed that or would want more, so thank you for sending in this ask!! love u all mwah <3 

[hopelesshunny]

the love languages part iii: words of affirmation (f.w.)

pairing: fred weasley x fem!reader

summary: y/n thinks fred is losing interest in her after he catches another girls eye so he makes sure she knows just how much he loves her.

warnings: kissing, mentions of cheating, misunderstandings, mentions of a breakup, insecurities, mentions of marriage, mentions of pregnancy, very brief joke about a physical fight, ANGST but with a happy ending!!

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this is late and i'm very, very sorry but i started writing it and kinda hated it so i had to take a step back and come back to it! i kinda struggled with this one bc words of affirmation is the farthest thing from my personal love language but i hope i did it justice.

*all photos are from pinterest*

series masterlist // part i // part ii // part iv

The warm sunlight washed over Y/N’s skin as she stepped into the courtyard, a smile etched on her face at the thought of seeing her boyfriend, after spending the entire day in class away from him she couldn’t wait to revel in the feeling of his arms wrapped around her. She scanned the sea of students before her eyes finally found him, her smile slightly dropped when she saw two Hufflepuff girls standing in front of Fred as he leaned against a bench on the ground. The two girls were older than Y/N, they giggled as they spoke to him, one of them twirling her hair around her finger. She could feel jealousy pooling deep in the pit of her stomach coupled with an overwhelming sense of guilt as Fred looked very uninterested with the conversation the two girls were attempting to initiate, constantly looking around in search of her.

“There she is!” Fred spoke when Y/N made her way to him, the smile on his face was so genuine that she almost forgot about all the anger that previously possessed her.

“Hi, Freddie.” She greeted, giving into his outstretched arms to let him pull her into his lap. He placed a sweet kiss to her temple. “Hi.” She spoke softly, turning her attention to the two girls, irritation lacing their features.

“Maybe we’ll see you around Fred.” One of them piped up before leaving, whispering to one another as they retreated.

“Your friends seem nice.” Y/N scoffed, biting the inside of her cheek as Fred’s arms tightened around her, sensing her discomfort.

“Not my friends.” He chuckled, littering the side of her face with kisses which earned a giggle from her. “Just some girls in my Herbology class, they won’t leave me alone.” He added.

“Can’t entirely blame them.” She joked, attempting to make light of the situation. “I don’t leave you alone either.”

“Mhmm.” He started, turning her head to face him so that he could place a kiss to her lips. “But your company is more than welcomed, princess.”

She giggled at his soft demeanor, taking his hand in hers whilst she leaned back against his chest as she listened to him babble on excitingly about some of the new products he and George were working on for the shop. She felt content here in his arms but her mind kept wandering to the girls that were obviously attempting to flirt with her boyfriend.

Y/N knew Fred loved her, knew that no matter how many girls flocked to him he would always politely excuse himself from the situation in order to find her, knew that he wouldn’t even think about cheating on her but was he losing interest in her? What if he was looking at all these other girls and thinking they were prettier than her, smarter than her, better than her? She pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to think about losing Fred to someone else, she could hardly stomach it. But truly, it plagued her, Fred had come into her life and made it completely different, he forced her to live in colour after so long of feeling like she was one of those sad black and white Hollywood starlets. He made her feel special, made the rain seem like a gift instead of an inconvenience, made the sun feel warmer and the moon feel like he hung it in the sky just for her.

Fred noticed that Y/N had something on her mind and spent the next few days constantly asking if she was okay but he knew that she was far too stubborn to tell him what was bothering her. Because of this Fred tried a little harder to make sure she knew how much she meant to him, Y/N knew what he was doing but she wasn’t ready to confess to him that she was jealous of all the attention he was getting from the girls at school, worried that her insecurities would push him away. But that was never something that crossed Fred’s mind, he had assumed that other people flirting with him would upset her which is why he always rejected the advances, always made sure she knew that there was no one else walking this earth more perfect for him, he truly wanted nothing more than to slip a ring on her finger and spend the rest of his days with her. Hell if he had a ring right now he’d propose to her no questions asked.

“Alicia, do you know who that girl is?” Y/N asked as she sat in the library, textbooks littering the table in front of the two girls as they poured over their homework. Alicia spun around in her seat to get a look at the girl in question.

“The Hufflepuff girl?” She asked to which Y/N nodded. “I think her name is Jessica, why?”

“It’s nothing.” She lied in reply, gritting her teeth. “Just asking.”

“No you’re not.” She spoke casually, seeing directly through Y/N’s facade. “You don’t seem like yourself lately, what’s wrong?”

“She was talking to Fred a couple days ago.” Y/N sighed. “I just can’t shake it, I’ve caught her staring at him at dinner a few times and she was so adamant about talking to him that day.” Her voice shook as she spoke, Alicia looked to her with a soft smile.

“Y/N.” She started. “Fred loves you so bloody much, so much so that it's kind of gross sometimes. He’d never even think about pursuing another girl, he looks at you like you have a halo hanging above your head.”

“Thanks.” She sniffed, giggling at her friend. “You’re a good friend, Alicia.”

“And if all else fails, you could probably take her in a fight.” Alicia added, earning a loud, genuine laugh from Y/N earning stares and shushing from those in the library.

She felt lighter after her conversation with Alicia and was excited to see Fred at dinner, she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss his entire face. Her warm and fuzzy thoughts of Fred were interrupted when she saw Jessica running her fingers up his arm, a devilish smile playing on her lips. Y/N could hardly process the sight in front of her, it was making her sick to her stomach so much that she couldn’t bear to look at Fred’s face not wanting to see his reaction to the pretty girl in front of him trailing her hand up his arm. She didn’t even realize that her feet were carrying her body away from the sight in front of her until she could hear him calling after her.

Tears spilled from her eyes, tracking down her face as she ignored Fred’s desperate calls to her, practically running through the common room and up to her room. She slammed the door, sliding down it as she pulled her knees up to her chest, sobs now freely leaving her mouth.

“Y/N, angel-” Fred started, outside her door, he was audibly out of breath from chasing her through the castle. “Open the door please.”

She sat there for a minute, contemplating never opening the door, never speaking to him again, just simply forgetting that she never ever heard Fred Weasley’s name. But she knew she couldn’t, knew she could never forget about him and she also knew she shouldn’t just shut him out, he would never purposely hurt her. With a sigh she lifted herself from the ground and opened the door to find her very disheveled boyfriend, his hair messy from running his hands through it, his face flushed. As soon as she saw him her legs collapsed beneath her, choked sobs making their appearance once again.

“Hey, hey, none of that.” He whispered, taking her into his arms on the floor. “She just came up to me love, I told her she had to leave me alone, that there was never going to be anything between us because I was in love with you.” He rubbed circles into her back as she sobbed into his chest, placing barely there kisses into her hair.

“Are you-” She started, another brutal sob racking her body. “Are you losing interest in me? I-I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me if you don’t want to be.” Freds heart was aching listening to her, he cursed himself for the way she was feeling. He should have told her he loved her more, he should have woken her up every morning by telling her she was the only girl he ever thought of, that he ever wanted.

“I love you Y/N.” He began. “H-How-”

“You can love someone and get bored with them.” She spoke quietly. Fred sighed, placing his hands on her shoulders, he pulled her back to look at her.

“I will never get tired of you, you will never bore me and there is not a chance in hell that I will lose interest in you.” Her eyes found his for the first time since she first opened the door. “I think about you all day, everyday, from the second I wake up with you in my arms until I get to fall asleep next to you, all I think about is you. You’re everything to me.” He let a deep sigh leave his chest as he took her face in his hands. “I’m going to marry you Y/N, in the backyard, back home with everyone there and then we’re gonna have a bunch of little red-headed babies, send them off to Hogwarts and argue over what house they’ll be sorted in.” He said, pulling a giggle from her which he reciprocated with a relieved smile.

“You want to marry me?” She asked as he wiped a stray tear from her eye with the pad of his thumb.

“I have since the day you agreed to date a bloody git like me.” He joked, pulling her into his chest. “It’s only you Y/N, it’s always been you, it’ll always be you, you’re it for me.” She buried her face into his jumper, forgetting about Jessica, forgetting about her doubts, just breathing in his scent, just feeling his lips on her hairline, just her and her Freddie.

taglist (join here!!)

@onlyfreds @fandomhideout @lilypad-55449 @youngblood199456 @thanxxskz @emma67 @gaycatlord-stuff @alicetweven @a-castle-of-glass @youcantbesirius @omghufflepuff @izzyyy-1​

if your url is crossed out i could not tag you!!

[kurisus]

Chapter 96 thoughts

This chapter made me want to not be alive so uh let’s talk about it, group therapy style. Spoilers under the cut, obviously.

This was easily the worst chapter in a long time, but it was a different type of pain than the last bad chapter I flipped out over (Hagusa’s first appearance in 88-2). This was more like a slow, burning feeling of dread. I’m not quite sure how to describe it but this chapter definitely made me feel no less than 7 new emotions.

Things started off poorly with Yuka seeing Hiyori as being similar to her mom. Which, as we learned a few chapters ago, means the type of person to keep pushing away her pain and inconvenience with a smile. At least I’m glad Yuka decided to make her breakfast anyway.

The comparison isn’t entirely one-for-one though. Yuka and Haru’s mother was also the type of person to completely close herself off from her surroundings, not really doing anything to prevent her kids from being hurt. We know our Hiyori would never let that slide--I’m fondly remembering the multiple times she’s gone after trash dad despite how he keeps finding new ways to hurt her.

On that note, I still don’t think Yukine’s father is alive, but if he was I would love for Hiyori to kick his ass too.

Anyway, the anecdote about Haru forgetting their dad’s birthday was already rough for me. I’d forget too, if I had someone like that holding it against me every time. And of course it shouldn’t surprise me he was cruel enough to force his children to sleep outside at night, but somehow it’s just another horrible, horrible thing we were forced to learn.

Adachitoka’s really pulling no punches with Yukine’s backstory, man. Every time I think we’ve heard the worst of it, they come back with something new and equally horrible.

I’m really not sure what to make of Yuka’s “This isn’t something to talk about just after waking up” statement. What was she implying was happening to Haru? My first thought was that she realized he’s in danger somehow, and is afraid he’s going to die, but if that were true she’d be urging the girls out the door to go look for him. Feel free to tell me if it was obvious, but I was confused.

I still have no idea how Nora and Hiyori are gonna explain what happened to Haru, but I feel like Yuka will just catch a glimpse of him and realize, somehow.

I also feel like when they meet, Yukine will turn his anger on his sister at first, but hopefully Hiyori will be there to mediate things. I can’t wait for her to get some action, provided things don’t go belly-up again (they will).

Okay so I was completely NOT expecting to get the letter revealed this month so I felt blindsided.

I remember speculating the letter would be something normal, like what Yato saw in those fragments when naming Yukine. But boy, was I wrong.

He never got any of her letters, and didn’t Yuka also say she never got any of his?

Anyway, my first thought when I saw that final letter was that their dad forced him to write it, but looking at it again now I’m not so sure. I think the paneling is meant to imply their dad read out all his letters, and that was the one he was holding when the POV switched to a flashback. I also misread “I can’t take it anymore” as a sort of suicide note, but I think it was just frustration.

Either way, there’s a conspiracy going on that their dad was behind. Somehow, he got hold of all Haru’s letters, and likewise prevented Yuka’s from ever reaching him. So the two siblings wrote to each other and never got a response, each believing they had been abandoned.

It’s also horrifying that Yuka wrote about mundane things out of concern for her brother’s life and safety, yet Haru was openly writing about how much he wanted to run away. Perfect fuel for their dad’s story once he went missing, huh?

This also shows he wasn’t, like, handing the letters to his dad to mail off. He was sending them by himself, in secret, yet they all got returned one day. So like, was their mom hoarding his letters to prevent Yuka from getting them? What exactly happened here? I’m wondering if their mom was so committed to putting everything behind them that she kept all of Haru’s arriving letters and hid them away, hoping the siblings would forget about each other. But then, did she send them back? Why would she do such a thing?

I mentioned this a while ago, but nothing about this whole letter business adds up, and now there’s a whole new layer to it.

Anyway, on to what was, for me, the crux of this chapter--the page with just the “thud” and “smack” sfx, followed by an unnerving silence. This was, as is shown later, the final abuse that Haru suffered. His father got hold of the letters, ripped them up in front of his son, then beat him up and dragged him to the mountains where he dumped him in the fridge, already concocting his story about how Haru ran away. Now we know why Haru was barefoot and in his pajamas when it showed the fridge door shutting. Good lord.

This page had a deep impact on me, because though Adachitoka is not one to shy away from direct depictions of abuse (think Father smacking Yuuki against a pole or setting wolves on a crying Yato), everything about this was deeply unpleasant in a new way. I think it’s because we already knew that everyone ignored what was happening at the Tajima house, as well as the consequences of that specific instance of abuse.

I think it was @eerna who said this page goes straight to the compilation of pages that make me feel like I’ll never be happy again? bc yeah.

I gotta stop talking about this before I cry so I’m instead pivoting to taking another break from being mad at Kazuma because he was actually doing good stuff this chapter. Seems like he’s finally come around and agrees they need to get Yukine back, and is offering his help to Yato.

Poor Yato, though, remembering how their last exchange before Father named Yukine was Yukine renouncing that name in a fit of anger. I don’t think calling Sekki would work at the moment, but certainly when Yuka, Hiyori, and Nora help Yukine see reason, I can picture Yato summoning him back and away from Amaterasu.

So, they better all get their butts moving, because Father’s about to do a test run of Hagusa’s fury against those gods unfortunate enough to be in his way. Pleaaaaase let them be in time. I don’t have it in me to go through a box incident again.

If memory serves, Arahabaki is also in the area, meaning Shiigun may face off against Yuuki. But their time is running out, so Yukine’s fractured mental state will likely interfere with that plan.

One last thing before I close out this very long post. Father drew a clear parallel between himself and Yukine with their shared feelings of despair, yet the visual puts him in the same place as Yukine’s father, and Freckles as Yukine. Makes me wonder if she received similar treatment from Father as Yato and Nora did. Was their relationship not quite so “star-crossed lovers” as Father would have us believe? Was he perhaps partially to blame for her death?

In any case, seeing Yukine’s father carrying him to what will be his grave made me feel violent. I really hope that bastard is long dead, because I don’t want Yukine to become a murderer even though it would be completely justified after seeing incident after incident of the environment he grew up in.

Always questions, questions, and more questions. Feel free to send your own thoughts! See yall in October~

[gt-ridel]

Several hundred words of Half-Life Borrower!AU goodness

(Hi, this is Passportinspection!) Oooh goodness. I actually started writing this as an ask. I really thought what I had to say would fit into an ask. Since sending that anon about having 350 words of thoughts, I ended up getting distracted for a few hours, and then when I came back to this, I apparently had 400 more words to say. I just love rambling what-ifs about AUs. :’>

_

Hi Passportinspection!  Sorry it took so long to reply to this. I had more work than I thought yesterday. >__< I totally agree! Rambling about what-ifs is WAY more fun than actually writing a story. ;;>__> _

These are… not all A-list ideas, and I was very tempted to cut it down to the best bits, BUT I know that if someone said to me “I had 5 ideas for your au but only told you the 2 good ones” I would be extremely interested in hearing the 3 bad ones anyway, so… here it all is. This was written pretty stream-of-consciousness and then rearranged a bit to form my pinballing thoughts into something a little more linear, but, fair warning, it wasn’t edited much beyond that.

_ Ooo, I absolutely want to hear everything! All ideas, good and bad! Are you kidding? (Gets comfy) _

I keep thinking about the end of that “gordon takes borrower!barney with him through the events of HL1” scenario; Imagining gman’s speech at the end, I like the idea of him saying something like, “As for your.. /passenger/..” and both of their bloods running cold. I can’t decide if I’d rather barney actually go into stasis with gordon or not I think it could be an interesting/cute concept- the idea that gman/his employers figured barney was enough of a factor in gordon’s success that they thought it would be wise to keep them together for future “assignments.”

_ Bro I'll be honest, I hadn't gotten that far in the AU because I still haven't finished the game. My only reference for G-man is Mr. Coolatta. So I'll have to at least look the ending up on youtube before I'll be able to give my informed opinion.  But taking it as is?  That would be freaking terrifying. They've met some other scientists and security guards during their escape, but the HEV helmet was a perfect hiding place. None of them ever noticed that Gordon wasn't alone.  But somehow this reality bending creep knows, and it looks like he's not going to let Barney and Gordon just go home, which was basically what they were fighting for the whole time.  _

I’m also thinking about, like.. With Barney in Gordon’s helmet with him, Gordon must be able to feel him tense up and hear his breathing speed up whenever something particularly scary/dangerous happens, maybe even at times faintly feel the fluttering of his heart, and it strengthens his resolve to make it out of there bc it’s not just himself he’s saving. 🥺 Also Barney can provide running commentary, which perhaps soothes both of their nerves a little. Maybe he even helps with some puzzles. :> I also think it’s funny/convenient that that would work really well for an actual video game format. A friend that’s with you wherever you go that sees everything you see but can’t interact with the world but provides commentary and occasional helpful tips? That fits in nicely!

  _ Ha! Something I was thinking about was how Barney has spent his whole life living in the vents and such. He would probably be a perfect guide for Gordon. :3 As for Gordon feeling when Barney gets tense or scared and that fuling his drive to escape, that was ABSOLUTELY one of the reasons I wanted Barney in the helmet.  It would be uncomfortable, inconvenient, and down right dangerous sometimes. But you cannot deny the unique opportunities for deeper emotional exploration it would present. _

…But also, now that I think about it, maybe there are parts where the only way forward is for Barney to slip through a crack in a blockaded doorway and use a control panel that opens another door- that sort of thing. He gets to help with more than just talking sometimes! :> Oh, dang, imagine the part where gordon gets jumped and almost killed by the military. Poor Barney. D: Maybe a factor in Gordon escaping the trash compactor before it crushes him is Barney frantically trying to wake him up.

_ I was defo hyperfixating on what the whole beat down would be like from Barney's perspective a few days ago! Gordon would be at an extra disadvantage in the fight because he'd have to be careful not to accidentally bash Barney between his skull and the helmet while he's being smacked around.  Imagine Barney being tossed all over the small space, maybe ending up pinned when Gordon finally passes out. Noticing when a small stream of blood starts leaking from his friends mouth and soaking into his clothes. Gordon is completely helpless, and so is Barney as he hears the soldiers talking about what they're going to do with the body.  I just think that whole scene and the escape from the trash compactor would be so fun and exciting~ -

Also, unrelated, but I wonder how barney would wake up in city 17, if he did go into stasis with gordon. That is, since gordon is wearing a citizen outfit when he comes out of stasis, barney obviously can’t be in the helmet anymore. Maybe gman elects to move barney to a pocket somewhere instead lol. I’m imagining as soon as gordon is released from whatever effect gman had him under and he’s able to move again, he starts patting himself down looking for Barney (the same way one does when they forget which pocket their phone is in ), bc last he knew Barney was right up against his face and now he’s /not/, and that man SAID they’d be “hired” as a team so /where is he/ because Gordon needs to know he’s /okay/. As Barney is released from the same effect, he probably moves and makes himself apparent, so it’s only for like a second that Gordon is doing that.

_ Once again, I can't speak much to what would happen in a HL2 continuation of this story, but that sounds about right for an initial reaction scene.  Imagine Barney just coming out of it and being in some sort of... bag? being jostled around? He feels a giant hand pat over him from outside and he grunts in surprise. Then the hand rests against him and Barney realizes he's in a humans breast pocket, being held against someones chest as beside him a thundering heart slowly begins to calm. He figures this must be Gordon. He doesn't KNOW any other humans, and he can't imagine that man in the suit would be all that concerned about Barney's wellbeing.  _ 

Barney doesn’t know where they are/who else is out there at all ‘cause he can’t see from where he is, and Gordon can feel him shifting to lean out of the pocket and get a look, and he just puts a hand over the pocket, covering the opening in the process, and applies a gentle pressure for a couple moments, and Barney knows that means he needs to stay put because it’s not safe to come out yet. Thankfully Barney heard Gman talking to Gordon and addressing him by name, so he doesn’t have to worry about whose pocket he just woke up in. He would probably somewhat recognize Gordon’s gait/the feel of his hands at that point, too. As for how Gordon avoids boarding the train to Nova Prospekt without canon barney there to stop him, I have no idea.

  _ YEAAAH that is a good point. Barney is kind of vital for that role. Maybe we can slot a different character into his place. ^__^;; _

Oooh, going back a bit, maybe when the nihilanth is teleporting gordon around in the boss level, or from the very beginning when gordon jumps into the portal to Xen, they get teleported separately and end up in different places? (Ignoring for a moment the parts with portals in Black Mesa ^^;) That sure is an additional level of distress for the both of them during the Big Final Level(s). And then perhaps at the end, part of gman’s speech can be like, “As for your.. companion, you can rest assured he was recovered safe and sssound. After all, you two performed so well, together, it would be ideal to hire you as, a team.” Or whatever

_ Imagine Barney, stranded and alone on Xen, desperately trying to find Gordon, and having his OWN creepy G-man encounter. :U _

Our Barney AUs differ in some exciting ways and it’s fun to play in someone else’s sandbox for a while. :p I’ll probably cut my notes doc down into something readable and post it sometime in the near-ish future.. Either that or actually write the dang fic.

_ I would absolutely LOVE to hear about your AU too! So if you do either of those things, be sure to @ me!  Thank you so much for playing in this sandbox with me. I am ALWAY down to talk Borrower AU stuff. It's just so much dang fun! ^0^

[keepmovinjunior]

Your thoughts on megules? 🙈❤️

megara tops, sorry but i don't make the rules. hercules is not even her power bottom. he's just her bottom. "meg please break my arm" -- original quote from hercules to megara on their wedding night, 700 BC

no, but all kidding aside, I love megules actually. I think they're my favorite canon disney couple. and it actually says a lot for me, personally, that they are a disney canon straight ship that i enjoy,  lmao  (altho i think the big ‘meg tops pure himbo’ energy of them has a lot to do with it).  but they do have a lot of chemistry that i dont get often from most disney couples, at least in the romantic sense. 

a couple of key points in why i love them under the cut!

i love that hercules is constantly in awe of meg. he’s maybe a little intimidated, definitely a little turned on, but regardless -- he’s always in awe, and he treats her like the goddess she truly deserves to be treated as. he never presumes about her; only worships her as an amazing woman. in many other instances megara would probably be looked down upon for owning her sexuality and being in control of it, unfortunately, but hercules is just hearts in eyes.jpeg always, and like tbh #same. also, regardless of how much he’s attracted to her, he always respects her personal space, which is absolutely not something anyone else does in the film. when in doubt, you see that he especially is very mindful to keep his distance (when he runs away in the garden scene after their date and she’s moving closer to him, basically getting undressed) i think he’s the only man her ~seduction~ has not worked on, at least in the way she expects it to (she tries, hard, to get information out of him in exchange for sex during the garden scene, and she’s fully expecting him to submit to her advances and probably give into sex with her, like most men in that situation have traditionally done), and this really surprises her. 

“did u just fuckin. fix my dress strap instead of fucking me? this is weirdly both an inconvenience and a massive turn on for me” -- meg, 703 BC

anyway, this isn’t to say hercules deserves a trophy for being, idk, a decent human being who understands women are people with boundaries that you should be careful about crossing, but it’s one of the reasons i do really like them, and find them cute together. 

i also think he’s such a foil for her. he’s naive, soft hearted, idealistic, optimistic. she’s cynical, snarky, jaded. they’ve both also dealt with bullying in their pasts, altho hercules had the fortune of loving parents. in any case, meg thinks his innocence is very endearing. he’s also definitely much younger than she is, and i think megules is one of the only, if not THE only, canon main disney couple in which the woman is obviously older than the man. i find that to also be really intriguing and cute about them!

hercules has a good heart, but he is also not really altruistic. he doesn’t have an attachment to the general public, which is good, because if he did, that’s not something meg really relates to.  she actually appreciates this a lot about him. hercules is a hero, but he’s trying to be a hero for his own gain, and he’s never really hid this. he’s trying to get back to his family. he’s not operating out of a sense of duty to the public. ultimately, he’s trying to fit in, trying to belong. megara is doing the same thing, via different means, but they’re two sides of the same coin in that sense. they’re both self preserving. neither one of them is really claiming to be acting because they’re “good people,” they’re just trying to survive and be happy, and for that i find them both very human. meg, like hercules, has also never fit in or felt at home with anyone. because of this, they really mesh well together.

i also like that their romance has a build up and that we see them even go on a date before falling in love. he’s of course initially attracted to her, but i don’t think she is to him, besides finding him cute, and i find that very realistic. she warms up a lot to him after getting to know him. you do get a sense of genuine chemistry between them that lies beyond “these two argue a lot lol and then they have a relationship!!! couples bicker bc they have sexual tension xoxo” their relationship has stakes, too, and a slow burn, at least in terms of the disney universe. i actually find the arguing/teasing trope to be quite tired, and there’s thankfully none of that between them. hercules never tries to tease meg; he’s certainly not the witty one in the relationship, and he knows it. she gets all of the jabs and he’s just happy to be along for the ride. 

also, they both are willing to lay down their lives for the other one, and they both gain their story arc’s resolution through their sacrificial love for the other. it’s very equal in that way!

basically, i just really like them. i think that megara genuinely adores him. he centers her, he makes her feel safe, at home, respected, appreciated, and like the most beautiful lady in the history of ladies. hercules even calls her more beautiful than aphrodite, which, to meg, who was left previously FOR aphrodite  --  well, it’s what she deserves in a partner, u know.

tl;dr i really enjoy hercules and megara and find them to be a really cute canon disney couple thanks for letting me ramble abt them

[ajokeformur-ray]

Okay so since ya girl (shamefully) has astrapophobia, I get very nervous during these times and I sometimes will panic if it's loud. I've been in a loud ass storm that I swear shook our dorm building and I had a panic attack. I feel so shameful of being scared of them so I try to hide it but yeah...I half think J might hate them too because I HC that his military past gets triggered by them, so it could either be like something you two feel closer by or just him comforting you. Either or works!!

I really like the idea of both of you needing comfort during a storm - Joker bc military past as you say, and you for your fear. With that in mind, I think maybe he’d be more susceptible to fluff? I hope you enjoy this! If not, please let me know and I’ll redo it

Warning: thunderstorms, mentions of PTSD (Joker; military), astrapophobia (reader), panic attacks, swearing.

Word count: 1, 561.

Thunder rumbled across the sky, the noise so loud, so violent, that you could have sworn that it shook the walls of your dormitory building. Your heart seized in your chest and picked up, fear making your forehead hot and your breath skipped and then became irregular.

Calm down, deep breaths… it’s just thunder, it’s just thun - 

Lightning ripped across the sky and you whimpered, your hand inching towards your phone. Immediately did you dial a number which you had had to learn by rote, unable to save it on a SIM card or into your phone just in case Joker was ever captured by the FBI and you were found out to be involved. Having his number in your phone would be incriminating, so after every use of it did you have to delete it from your phone. One of Joker’s goons then erased it from your phone record, the event isolated, and so the cycle continued.

It was the only way Joker could keep you safe and you took any measure he gave you as seriously as he did. A joker he may be, but nothing was as serious to him as the act of loving you.

With a trembling hand did you hold the phone to your ear. It rang once, twice, thrice, “Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up pick uuuuup~ oh, fucking finally! Hi, hello!” Your voice was shaky, your breathing irregular, but you put on a brave face for just long enough to ask for Joker. To ask him to come home. You were scared of thunderstorms to the point of panic attacks, and Joker’s PTSD, thanks to his military background, was often triggered by it, too, and you needed him here so that you could take care of each other and therefore yourselves. “I-is Joker there?”

“Yeah, hang on.” The man you had spoken to was someone you didn’t know even the name of, all in the name of safety, and yet you were familiar with each of them in your own way. This particular man was always nice to you. Whereas some of the other disposable goons would make it clear that you phoning was an inconvenience - a total lie because you only ever used the number to Joker’s Headquarters when you needed your clown - this one always saw your phone calls for what they are: asking for help. He always got you to Joker as quickly as the situation allowed. There was some crackling on the line and some hushed, incoherent voices and you could just make out Joker’s deeper voice among everyone else’s. And then - 

“Doll,” You gasped, your chest aching, at the sound of Joker’s voice, and he shushed you roughly, though you took it as the unconventional comfort that he intended it to be, “How ya’ holdin’ up?”

“Barely. You?”

Joker grunted and the line went dead, your phone beeping in your hand to signify the end of the call, but you smiled even through your large, hot and heavy tears. If you didn’t know Joker, you would have taken this to be rude and uncaring. But you did know him, you did, and you knew he was coming home. His grunt had been one of agreement and so eager to get to you was he that he was most likely already on his way over to you, your phone records being tampered with even as you clambered into your bed and pull the duvet tight around you.

You knew not how much time passed while you kept your eyes shut tight so that, even under the duvet as you were, you couldn’t see the flashes of lightning. The thunder, however, was so loud, so strong that it was almost like a motorbike, and it vibrated deep within your very bones. You kept your phone enclosed within your hand, your shaking fingers squeezing every now and then to ground yourself.

Your panic was reaching new heights as it felt like your skin was crawling, your forehead super hot, your entire body trembling, your breaths irregular and your heart pounding in your head, and all you could think about was your chaotic clown. You were in the midst of a panic attack but thoughts of him kept you from sinking underneath the murky waters of your raging mind. You worried about him, too, and you hoped that both of you would still be coherent enough when he finally came home for the two of you to comfort each other. 

Nights like this had been filled with cuddles and comfort once both of you had figured out that the other suffered during storms. For different reasons, this was true, but at its core was panic and it was this which the two of you focused on. In comforting and calming each other were you able to calm yourselves. Nights like this brought you both infinitely closer than you already were and sometimes you even looked forward to it - not because you would both be triggered, but because you would spend all of that time together. 

There was the sound of slamming doors, quick footsteps, and your heart picked up again but for a different reason this time, as the footsteps came closer and closer and closer, and then your door opened, slammed shut and locked, bolted and everything else. Silence and the rustling of clothing, the thudding of shoes being carelessly removed and tossed to the side, and then your duvet was flipped back to reveal, in all his chaotic glory, your clown.

His greasepaint was running in some places from where he had been caught in the rain, and in others did bare patches of skin show through. His hair was greasier now than it had been yesterday, strands sticking to his face or swept back by a careless hand. He needed another dye job but as his dark chocolate eyes looked down at you, those depths swimming with an intense need to comfort you but also for his own needs to be met, all thoughts of anything other than him went out of the window.

“Oh, my - “ You held your arms out, your fingers clenching as you reached for him, “Joker!”

Joker chuckled at your less than subtle display of desperate yearning, the sound a little strained, as he clambered in beside you with a huff. “Budge up, doll - give me space.”

“… You want me to move over in my bed?”

Joker stared at you, amusement tugging up the corner of his full lips, the macabre red paint smeared and ultimately blended into the white greasepaint which made him look ghostly. He looked like he was going to say some kind of quip, but then lightning illuminated the entire room and thunder quickly followed with a noise so loud you put your hands over your ears and even Joker winced, and all was forgotten as you pushed yourself backwards and made room for the love of your life, who laid down beside you and tugged the duvet around the both of you so that you were both protected from the natural chill of the room.

The words I love you were often spoken by you, though they were never reciprocated by Joker in the same manner. No. He said it in the way he had obviously rushed over here to be with you due to your mutual need at that moment. He said it in the way that his arm wound around your waist as he tugged you closer, a socked foot on your shin asking you to part your lower legs so that he could anchor himself to you by locking his own leg between yours. He said it in the way he pressed his painted forehead against yours, one of his hands finding yours beneath the duvet.

Your breath shuddered both at Joker’s proximity and also at the way lightning suddenly and violently illuminated the room. You shut your eyes tight and Joker’s hand squeezed yours in silent comfort. He had never been especially cuddly or affectionate, not like this anyway, with his body so completely wrapped around yours, but this night did you both need physical grounding, so distressed were you both by the storm.

A long, low shush which rumbled in Joker’s chest broke through the roaring in your ears and the arm around your waist tightened, his hand rubbing your back slowly. “Easy, Y/N, easy. Breathe. You’re safe, doll.“ Despite his bravado, though, he flinched, his entire body tense and on edge as thunder boomed across the sky, and now it was your turn to comfort him as you pressed a tender, lingering kiss to his forehead.

“So are you, J.” Your whisper was louder than the building voices in Joker’s mind and his lips quirked upwards slightly as together did you keep each other grounded, safe, whole and loved, though never was that word returned to you. You didn’t need it to be, though, for as Joker’s breathing evened out and his intense dark eyes fluttered shut under your careful gaze, his arm slackened over your waist and his body became a dead weight against your own, you realised that Joker told you every moment of every day in his very own turbulent way, and you wouldn’t have it or him any differently.

Ledger!!Joker @nothing-but-a-comedy @justahyena @anyatheladyclown   @mijachula   @joker-daddy    @rinbyo    @imightaswellnotexistatall    @vladtoly    @joker-is-my-hero    @liz-rdwitch   @enigmaticandunstable        @ledgerskitten    @tsukiakarinobara    @germansarechill

[rights-for-redshirts]

Okay, this is vaguely insane, but

If someone from our century were transported backwards in time and reborn as some sort of crown prince/ruler, how far and how quickly could they push their country's development?

I just kinda want a story of a high schooler with no particular interest in anything wake up as, I dunno, some sort of medieval King and be so pissed off by everything that they start scratching all the bits of vague technological, sociocultural, economical, political knowledge together that they should have collected in school, and then kind of ... start. From practically scratch. Or worse because of the social restrictions.

So they try to start with electricity and fail, because they don't actually remember how a battery works, and decide to hire - grinding their teeth - some scientist from a university, only to find that that scientist is a charlatane and more interested in alchemy than actual chemistry. So instead, they hire one of their servants - who turns out to be a bit of a prodigy, even if they can't read - and tell them to start working on steam engines, together with a local blacksmith's daughter who can definitely blacksmith but is forbidden to do so bc of her gender.

The new monarch realizes that in order to get anywhere with anything, they need to delegate.

Long story short, the servant/blacksmith duo manage - with a bit of financial aid - to kickstart the industrial revolution, but the monarch remembers enough angry late night tumblr rants about capitalism and low class workers plus a dozen or so internet history lessons (bc history lessons at school are often useless and more about numbers than how the gears of a society grind together) to put their foot down and grant the workers a livable minimum wage - and to make sure the workers and especially worker's children receive an actual education. Both of which prevents a major societal crisis.

Parallel to the whole economy trip is the whole political thing, which they manage to navigate with a bunch of random political/historical facts and anecdotes (they pop up at the beginning of each chapter and seem to be there just for fun, but become suddenly VERY relevant when the right situation arises). Our monarch begins to realize that, in their growing scientifical staff (since the first two are now platonically married and taking over the national market as well as parts of the international one), there is actually more brain to be found than with them, so they begin to write down everything they can remember, from chemistry and artificial fertilizer to physics to maths, in one large (not so large) book and add in a larger (much larger) book all the stuff they know is important but the actual information was completely buried under facts like what a mitochondria is. They slam down the books in front of their scientists (i.e. make sure our farmers can a) provide enough food for themselves, b) get acceptable living conditions, c) can provide enough food for our booming cities, d) get an increased range of mobility through ... trains or something, e) get enough of a decreased workload to be able to send their children to school and f) ... I don't know) and sic them on the different problems.

Then, their Highness turn their attention back to ruling because, . There is a lot of stuff going on in their kingdom, and a lot of it isn't good. They begin to abolish the old system of inequality before the law (nobles are outraged). They write a constitution that includes some of the fundamental human rights. They establish a law system. They keep escaping murder attempts because they grew up on a diet of period dramas, game of thrones and serial killer documentaries.

They reorganize the administration and weed out corruption by making it punishable by ... something, idk.

Universities are next.

They write a book about common sense that they get pope-approved by bribing the cardinals. Subsequently, they realize that they completely forgot about printing books, and promptly follow their book up with the invention of the printing press (how did they forget about that??!)

The social and the educational processes speed up by 500% in the following few years.

The invention progress gets done a lot earlier than in canon history because the monarch a) knows EXACTLY what the scientists and professors and clever kids (that they actively collect) need to be looking for and b) because they remembered not too late into their reign to just ... send people into other civilizations and ask. As easy as that. China had black powder, paper and a lot of other cool stuff. (They finally get to eat rice noodles again a few years into their reign. Hey, being an absolutist ruler has to have some perks. If you can't send a group of diplomats into the far east to retrieve the recipe of your favourite food, then what's the point?)

Also, they had planned to subtly undermine the influence of the catholic church on their people, bit as it turns out, education does a whole lot against superstition. The law for freedom of religion and confession passes almost without a hitch after some dude named Luther nailed a textpost rant of several pages against a church door.

They are several decades into ruling when they realize. They have brought freedom and prosperity and rational thinking and instant noodles (of a sort) to their country. People study arts and science and discuss politics and exchange ideas and knowledge with other cultures. It's the renaissance come early but better because they remembered about the molding bread and the bacteries (the scientists very obviously thought them insane, but eventually managed some decent penicilline; additionally the monarch added their corona-induced knowledge about hygiene and quarantine to the national curriculum).

But they remember some pretty inconvenient stuff: colonialism. They brought freedom to their own people. Now how can they save the free people of the other continents from the europeans? Bc not gonna lie, europe's history is pretty bloody, not only at our own doorstep. (Looking at you, US. ) Anyways they realize that the Native Americans and Australians are pretty happy and actually don't want to change much (at least I think so?? No offense meant if wrong).

The aztec empire, though, is a completely different matter. They are warned of some dude named Cortez, and seem very pleased about the gift of a few dozen horses (or did I misremember how that story went? Cortez being believed a God bc of the horses?).

So is the Chinese one. (They are thoroughly warned against some stuff named opium coming from England, even if that's centuries away.)

They establish diplomatic relations with a badass african queen who is more than willing to trade supplies for more sophisticated technological devices against technological knowledge.

At some point the ruler realizes they didn't age in the last seventy years, so the point of a marriage of convenience for an heir is kinda moot (not that they had remembered anyways). Probably some offhanded remark of a noble. Or seeing the industry duo's adopted children's children.

Also, one of the other nations, maybe india, surprisingly ups their technology game and does everything better than the european country, because I'm tired of western/white supremacy.

Feel free to add/change whatever suits your purposes. If someone ever writes the book, let me know.

[pctioneer]

Lucius ( @familyname )

Lucius relaxes when he hears the words. As strained as his friend’s voice is, it’s there. He’s still alive, still mentally capable of speech, and strong enough to talk. “No. This is a breakout. We need to get out soon.” The wards break; Lucius turns his attention to Severus. He’s perhaps a bit rougher than he should be, but he refuses to leave Severus behind.

Lucius examines him quickly. “Are you hurt? Can you walk?” He repeats, trying to ascertain it for himself. Severus is barely communicating as it is. He tries to poke around for broken bones, but he’s not Rabastan, and his skills are … poor. He notes that he needs to learn at least a simple assessment charm.

“We need to leave.”

Severus isn’t so sure he can walk - even if there is no direct injury preventing him from doing so. He hadn’t been able to get up into so much as a comfortable sitting position since they day they had brough him here. His body feels stiff && uncomfortable all over,, && most of all, it feels weak. 

           “Lucius wait -” he swallows, though it hardly helps clear his throat. 

                    “you’re going to have to help me” 

He isn’t sure he has ever - at least in his adult life - outright asked someone for help,, && he is almost surprised to hear a hint of desperation in his own voice,, but he is too far gone to really feel the humiliation that goes along with such a gesture. 

[maybankiara]

topper x kiara theory

wild thought: i think topper and kiara might end up being a thing. and an even wilder thought, i think that could be one of the best things. 

ok so first off, let me just say that i’m not basing this off of any particular s1 interactions, so don’t come at me, this is more of a season 2 speculation, too.

i’ve just finished rewatching the first season and if i’m being honest, kiara doesn’t have much of a personality, or a personal character arc. i blame it on the writers for making her seem as if the only thing she does is boys, aside from an odd quirk here and there to show how not like other girls, bro she is. and making her have romantic feelings for two out of her three best friends is definitely not helping. 

what we do know about kiara is that her freshman year was a kook year, when she ditched the pogues for the kooks. she’s also the one to form grudges and be bitter and petty about it (the whole sarah’s birthday situation). it wouldn’t surprise me if she hates the kooks for her bad experience, even though we never actually got anything on that. 

having kiara be with one of the pogues doesn’t do much for her character. they already know each other incredibly well and while it would be cute, it wouldn’t contribute to either character’s personal growth, or have a proper influence on the plot. 

now, i’m the last person to say that a character needs a romantic relationship to have decent character development. however, i’d say that pairing kiara with a non-pogue would add an incredibly interesting dynamic to the pogues (as they have all had feelings for her) and to the plot (the love interest would definitely cause some inconveniences). if done well, it could show her personality beyond the little quirks, show her be stubborn, dedicated, why she wants to do music and that kind of things. i’d love for her to explore who she is in a relationship and without it, as she seems quite driven by romantic feelings but is also trying to be tough - can she be both? can she be in love with a man and still be empowered and self-sustaining? i’d love to see that. 

(i’d also like to see her with a gf. but this is a topper theory.)

and now, this is why topper would be perfect for this.

(below the cut bc this got long)

topper’s problem is that he’s overprotective, that he doesn’t know what he wants or who he is, and is just quite obsessed with the cameron siblings. he is completely under rafe’s influence, and that could be a post for another day, but then at the end of 1x09, we see him look at rafe right outside the church and it seems like he knows what rafe did - or at least, suspects it might be the truth. 

this could mean nothing. it could be swept under the rug next season and rafe and topper could be best buddies. or, if they go with redemption for topper (please!), then we could see him detaching from rafe, and what he believed in. who is topper when he isn’t around the camerons? 

and now, we get into topper x kiara. 

i could see topper wanting to find out more about what happened with peterkin. he could be wanting answers from the pogues, but obviously he isn’t going to get any from jj and pope. that means he’d go to kiara, who wouldn’t be accepting of him, either, but kiara is the nicest one and she’s the one who used to be a kook, and maybe she knows topper better than the others, too. 

i could see topper almost befriending kiara, by accident, as they try to figure out what’s happening with rafe. i’d love to see topper having to fight his loyalty to rafe vs knowing that his best friend is a murderer. kiara isn’t the kind of person who’d feed into his sadness, but would make him see the world for what it is, and she’d make him work for his loyalty. 

now, with this being established, topper could see that there aren’t that many differences between the kooks and the pogues. the prejudice has been one of the main things about his character, as well as blind loyalty to rafe and inability to have his own opinion, and kiara wouldn’t be having any of that. she’d help him grow into himself, figure out who he is. 

topper, on the other hand, could help kiara get over her potential tendency of confusing platonic love for non-platonic (john b? possibly sarah? possibly pope?). he could help her also get over her prejudice towards the kooks, because let’s be honest, all the characters generalise the opposite group a little too much. falling for topper would make kiara question why she likes the people she does. maybe she’d realise she likes being the “mama” kind of person, the one that helps people get through stuff. she seems like someone like that. 

i’d love to see kiara detach herself from the pogue life, almost. not in a way where she stops being friends with the pogues, or ditches them - i want her to be kiara carrera, not kiara the pogue. being with a kook, especially someone as controversial as topper, would mean she’d need to do that. she’d need to learn what her own values are. she seems like one of those people who seek validation from specific groups (pogues, then kooks, then pogues again). it’s a normal, common thing, especially in teenagers, and i think it’s something she and topper share the most. 

this is about their character arcs. in terms of narrative, i’ve mentioned already that topper could help out with dealing with rafe. this could either start rafe’s redemption arc or his descent into madness. topper’s also rich, and he’s the one who’s asking jj for retribution, and this could be revoked. topper could be the pogues’ inside man - he has the money, the resources, and probably enough bad parenting to be a kook. he could help out with the gold, and since he’s probably rich as hell already, i could see him doing this because he wants to be a better person. 

and i see this being the main reason why kiara ends up truly falling for him. he grows, and he helps her grow, too, and it’s a mutually beneficial relationship that helps both of them become their own people, independent from their groups, not letting the pogues and the kooks determine who they are anymore. 

[simplyaiden-blog]

hey welcome to the wn fandom!! always a pleasure having more ppl find the show!

as for ava, she def can come off as a bit irritating and stubborn but when u think about it, it rly does suck for her. i mean here’s a girl who was emotionally abused by a nun who made all her decisions for her for all her life until one day she ends up with a relic in her back - a decision that was again made by another nun, in the interest of the greater good - and then basically gets told to follow a bunch of nuns into a battle that was never meant for her. not to mention that none of them rly saw her as nothing more than an inconvenience and someone that was just a meat sack holding their prized relic. i mean they rly sat there for a min debating the idea of re-killing her just bc it might be less troublesome. I don’t agree with her decision to reach out to Jillian but it does make sense why she would bc after her experiences with nuns, she rly doesn’t trust that they have the best in mind for her, so she turns to someone else who couldn’t have been more different. And I mean, we wouldn’t have know Jillian was a bit shady if we hadn’t seen what was going on with her. I mean all Ava knew of the woman was that she was this scientist who created an amazing device for quadrapalegics to help them in their day-to-day life, why wouldn’t she go for help to her? her actions might have been irritating but they were a product of her past experiences (and lack thereof) that being said, she def has sum growing to do and I hope we get to see the awesome character development next season! anyways those were just my two cents on Ava, would love to hear ur final thoughts on the show when u finish it! happy watching

Thanks!! I understood and did empathize with her in the beginning, but she saw the tarask twice come after her and attack her, she saw how dangerous it was. To me, that would’ve been the wake up call to get my act together and find a way to protect myself, not “but I want to have fun.” Also, she was so willing to trust a group of people she just met like a couple of days ago (granted JC was a good egg, but still lol). I also get that she was continually abused by a nun, but I guess for me, I would blame the particular nun, not all nuns (though I do understand that they were very prejudiced and didn’t think she belonged, but I felt like she could’ve tried harder?). As for Jillian, she did build that awesome wheelchair but it’s almost like trusting Elon musk. Like cool, they built cool things, doesn’t mean I should trust them considering these are very wealthy and powerful people who will try to exploit you for gain. I don’t know. I was able to empathize with her situation but with the evidence right in front of her face (the tarask, how easily it killed Lilith, the demon in the city with the eruption), it should’ve at least gotten her to wisen up (obviously not perfect cause no one is). I’m assuming she’ll come to her senses soon, since I’m already half way through the season, but it is a bit frustrating to watch (but that also makes for more engagement - heck we’re discussing it now! Haha).

I always love discussing shows I watch! So I’ll let you know my thoughts once I finish 😊

[skiesofthesketchy]

fine!!! please!

hi, ily

this is one i will probably never finish bc idk i don’t feel it anymore lol. but alas, i did write hella chapters for it, so this chunk is kinda long. enjoy :)

Fine  -  jj maybank x reader 

“Um, hi,” you murmured, wondering why they wanted to talk to you. You looked at each of them trying to remember all of their names before your eyes found JJ once again, and he was looking at you too. You grinned at him, happy to see him under better circumstances than you had previously.

“It’s Y/N, right?” Kiara asked.

“Yeah, that’s me. Remind me of your names?” You smiled brightly at them. Friendliness was just in your nature, and it was easy for you to socialize because of it, even though you didn’t really talk to anyone your age.

They all shook your hand as they told you their names. You knew most of them anyway, but just wanted to be sure. When you shook Sarah’s hand, your smile dropped as you remembered your latest encounter with Rafe. You wondered if she knew that her brother was a total asshole.

Your gaze then fell on JJ to find him already looking at you once again. “We meet again, princess,” JJ said coolly. You decided the nickname he gave you was most definitely condescending.

You ignored his strange greeting and walked to where he was sitting and rested your hand on his shoulder, your stubborn nurturing side coming out. “How are you feeling?”

He didn’t answer, blue eyes just boring into yours. So you moved your fingers to his chin, tilting his head to the side so you could get a better look at his face. His eye wasn’t swollen anymore, but still had black and green coloring around it. His lip looked like it had almost completely healed other than being a little chapped. “You look a lot better.” You sighed quietly in relief, but knew the injuries on his abdomen were probably a different story.

You subconsciously let your fingers drift to the bruise covering his cheekbone, lightly touching the skin as if it could shatter. If you had been thinking about it, you would’ve been surprised that JJ was actually letting you touch him rather than pushing you away and telling you to leave him alone.

You didn’t notice, but the entire table was looking at both of you with dropped jaws. Pope and John B. already had a million different ways to tease JJ about you manhandling his face forming in their brains. All the while, JJ was at a loss for words. He didn’t think you’d ever want to talk to him again, but here you were, standing over him and touching his face in front of his friends, and he almost blushed. Almost.

“See, I told you I’d be fine,” he said bluntly, pulling your hands away from him.

You laughed softly, not at all surprised at how aloof he was being. “I never got to tell you thanks, for um...” You glanced around at the other eyes watching you, thinking you really didn’t want to mention what happened to you at the beach in front of all of them. “For helping me out the other day,” you finished.

He nodded casually. “No problem.” He avoided your gaze though, eyes wandering anywhere but you. You needed him to know that you were serious, and you didn’t want him to just brush it off.

“I mean it. If you weren’t there, I... I don’t know what would have happened.” His focus turned back to you once he noticed the sincerity in your voice, the sadness in it. “So thank you. For real.”

In that moment, looking up at your pretty face, he wanted to say that it’s okay. That he’ll make sure Rafe never bothers you again. But he didn’t. All he did was nod.

“Um, about that...” Sarah spoke up, drawing your attention away from JJ. “Did Rafe do anything to you?” She felt uncomfortable bringing it up to you. Rafe was her brother after all, but she needed to know.

You coughed nervously, realizing that JJ had already told his friends about it. “Uh, no. He was just upset.”

“How come?” Pope asked. Your eyes darted around to all of the faces peering at you, waiting for answers. It made you anxious, and you didn’t want to give them the answers they were looking for.

“I told him I wasn’t interested, and he didn’t take it too well.” You laughed, trying to downplay the situation. “It’s alright though, no big deal.”

JJ squinted up at you as you were still standing next to him. The scene he walked into on the beach was definitely more serious than that. You were brushing it off like it wasn’t, and he wanted to know why.

The rest of the group wasn’t buying it either. You had just told JJ that you didn’t know what would have happened if he wasn’t there to save you. “Did he hurt you?” Kiara asked, eyes full of worry. They all knew how Rafe could be, and it wouldn’t surprise them if he had laid his hands on you.

“No,” you answered firmly and a little too quickly. “Like I said, it’s nothing to worry about.” You smiled, hoping they would believe you and drop it. JJ was unconvinced though. He suddenly remembered what position he found you and Rafe in. Rafe was holding you against him by your wrists while you struggled to get away.

His eyes shot to your hands, which were tapping nervously against your leg. He couldn’t believe that he didn’t notice it before. A deep violet bruise was evident on both of your wrists, the coloring bold on your skin. With furrowed brows, he reached out to grab your arm gently, making you jerk in slight surprise.

“This sure as hell doesn’t look like nothing.” He examined your bruises with his fingers softly running over the wounds before peering up at you again. He thought about how tight Rafe’s grip had to be in order to leave marks as bad as these. You were confused because from this angle, it looked like the guy actually cared.

“And you got kicked in the ribs,” you laughed breathily before pulling your arms away and folding them across your chest, mostly to hide the bruises. “I’m fine.” His blue eyes seemed to melt into yours, and for a moment, he wondered if you really were the shallow, stuck-up kook he thought you were. He was perplexed that you tried to play off the situation with Rafe as if it were just a minor inconvenience when it was obviously worse than that.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Y/N,” Sarah said to you. “I swear, I’m going to kill him.”

You smiled back at her half-heartedly. You didn’t want these people to worry about you, you didn’t even know them. They already knew more than you wanted them to, thanks to JJ. “It’s alright, really. I gotta run, but it was nice to meet you guys!”

You didn’t wait for them to respond, and after sparing a last glance at JJ, you turned back around to get the little girls you were watching. The table of teens were left dumbfounded, and all eyes watched you as you exited the restaurant with your take-out order.

“So, to be clear, she’s definitely someone we need to worry about, right?” John B. broke the silence.

“If my brother has anything to do with it, then hell yeah,” Sarah agreed. Her stomach twisted just thinking about it. There weren’t many things Rafe wouldn’t do, but she never thought he’d put his hands on a girl.

“Maybe we should just leave her alone,” JJ spoke up. “She said she was fine.” He was worried about you, but he wasn’t going to force you to accept their help. You obviously didn’t want it, and unlike you, he knew how to listen.

“But Rafe is a dangerous guy. What if he tries to hurt her again?” Kiara asked, sadness pooling in her eyes. The group of pogues didn’t know you very well at all, but they wanted to help.

“I’m going to talk to my brother,” Sarah firmly decided with a nod. She didn’t know exactly how that conversation would go, but she knew she had to try. Rafe needed to start learning the consequences of his actions.

“So... is there anything else you’d like to tell us?” Pope asked, looking at JJ.

“What do you mean?” He didn’t know what Pope was getting at, but he didn’t like the look his friend was giving him.

“You know, that you have the hots for a certain kook?” John B. joined in with a smirk. It seemed him and Pope were on the same page. JJ’s eyes widened.

“The fuck are you guys talking about?” he grumbled. Just what he needed. More teasing comments from his friends.

“Oh, come on!” Pope chuckled. “We all saw the way you looked at her.” JJ rolled his eyes, thinking about how his friends are fucking idiots.

“Yeah, when she was grabbing your face!” Kiara chimed in with a laugh. “I’ve never seen you blush so hard before,” she added with a wink in the blonde’s direction.

“I was NOT blushing!” The whole table erupted in laughter and a chorus of teasing kissing noises, a nice change from the serious conversation that happened only moments ago. Because of the way JJ was getting defensive, his friends knew that they were probably right in their assumption that he felt something for you. JJ was never one to shy away from girls, but he’d never be caught dead showing interest in a kook.

“Shut up, guys. She’s not even my type,” JJ tried again.

“What do you mean?” Pope argued. “She’s exactly your type! She’s hot and already had her hands all over you.” The rest of them laughed even harder than before, agreeing with Pope completely.

“You’re forgetting, she’s a kook,” he sneered. “Never in a million years, dudes.”

“Get over yourself already,” Sarah rolled her eyes.

Kie nodded in agreement. “Yeah, she seems cool.”

“And that’s coming from two kooks,” JJ pointed out under his breath, earning a slap on the back of his head from Kiara.

***

[sanchoyo]

25 + 41 Spinaraki (happy things for the boys)(or not, your choice)

Fantasy + First kiss! I hope u like this bc. I Don’t Know Beans about Fantasy as a genre. :”D TY for requesting! (And sorry for the delay, I have Weird Split Off Days :( )

                                    --------------

“I gotta kiss you, man.”

“No.”

“I gotta! We have to break this curse somehow!”

I said no!” 

Tomura was currently not hiding behind the couch; he was strategically crouching and avoiding, actually.

So, he’d been cursed. Their little guild of thieves and murderers had been attacked, and he’d gotten in the line of fire of a particularly skilled and spiteful witch. The stupid hag had declared ‘He who hates all cannot break the curse until he loves, realized the love, and seals the love with a kiss! That alone can break the curse!’

So. He’d been cursed in the most inconvenient way for him personally; corny as hell and unrealistic. Removing the witches head from her neck hadn’t broken the curse like he’d expected, his rot touch doing nothing to stop the hot pulse in his blood, the tell-tale, white hot pain of a curse. 

And sure, he’d been cursed before; this one was nasty, too intricate for him to untwine himself with his own black magic. His magic carried the death aura; it wasn’t a healing touch, it could only destroy.

He’d asked Sako about it, but the man had scoffed, declaring he was an illusionist, not a wizard or warlock. Magic was magic, wasn’t it? 

Toga was into blood magic, and knew a lot about love, and how to work with it alongside black magic- but she shrugged. She said wasn’t a healer. 

Dabi’s pyromancy would be useless; Twice’s doubling illusions didn’t even enter his mind. And neither did Spinner, because he couldn’t even use magic; sure, he was a strong fighter, but-

His head hit the underside of the abandoned tavern’s bar, alerting Shuichi to his location. He cursed.

“Dude, come on!”

“It’s not just a kiss to break it, I’ve said that already!” Besides, with his death aura, if anyone kissed him they’d probably die, right? “The hag said I have to love someone, and I don’t really love anyone!”

“But you like the league,” He pointed out. “So any of us could work, we don’t know until we try!” Spinner threw a toned arm against the wall, blocking the exit. “C’mon, I don’t want you to die, so I’m saying I don’t mind!”

“How generous,” He slipped under his arm, ignoring the indignant squawk. “No.”

“Really?! We need you!”

“Obviously, but I’m not going to die. I’ve almost died lots of times. We’ll break this curse. Besides, you probably suck at kissing. Have you ever even kissed anyone?”

“That’s- that’s rude.” He didn’t answer the question. “I just wanna help, man.”

And it would be inconvenient if he died; so what the hell? They were alone in the tavern anyway. He didn’t want it to seem like he wasn’t willing to try, and like hell he was flustered or something.

“Fine.” 

As many quests as they’d been on, Shigaraki had never even stopped to consider things like ‘romance’ or ‘kissing’; those were things reserved for normal peasants who needed more hands in the field, and royalty who had no say in who they married; Romance was a tool to sire the next generation of aristocrats and workers. 

To say he had a cynical view about the subject was an understatement, but he thought it was realistic. A fairy tale, to ensure the population didn’t plummet. It had it’s purpose, even if it was a lie.

“Fine? Oh, uh,” Shuichi slicked his hair back; there was a visible sheen of sweat on his face and on the pads of his palms. “Right, let’s do it!”

“Don’t make a big deal about it,” He snorted; but his own heart twitched, and his breath hitched. “And don’t regret it if there’s any side effects.”

“Nah, I won’t.” The other man’s voice was quieter. Their faces got closer, and…

They touched lips. Their noses bumped awkwardly, neither of them even shutting their eyes, or moving to- god forbid- open their mouths. After a moment, when he felt Shuici’s hot breath huff on his face, he pulled away.

“Well. That was stupid.”

“I was trying!” At least he seemed to be embarrassed; Shigaraki could barely tear his eyes away from him, amusement bubbling up. 

“Maybe we should try again; I still feel the curse.”

“Shit, stop teasing me! I’m going to go to the library and look into it!” He practically ran away; wasn’t that interesting? 

He tilted his head, and thought about it. It was a pretty bad kiss. 

So why’d be wanna try again?

                                  ---------

So he kept thinking about how Shuichi’s embarrassed face looked, and his own pride being at stake; besides, it was kind of sweet how loyal the dragonic knight was, willing to kiss his leader to help lift a curse.

“Hey, how are you? Is the curse..does it hurt?” A few days had past. All of them had been busy, looking into fixing it in their own ways; Spinner’d just gotten back from a binge at the library, and after pouring over the tombs, had admitted he couldn’t find a solution yet. 

“Yeah, not too different from normal.” It had faded in the background, like a hazy filter of constant pain, and he’d gotten used to it. It hurt, but he hurt pretty often anyway. Even if he was slowly dying, wasn’t that always the case?

“Hey, kiss me again.”

Shuichi sputtered, nearly spilt the drink he was holding, and looked at him with moon-sized eyes.

“What?”

“I wanna try again; don’t you think it sucked the first time?”

“Seriously, fuck you man.” Shuichi was mad? He frowned. He’d known he’d been a shut in before joining them, did he think he was honestly teasing him? 

“No, I wasn’t kidding. It’s distracting, I keep thinking about it.”

“...What, about the curse? We already-”

“No, about kissing you.” And he moved from his perch on the couch, putting a hand on the end of it and leaning over him. “As pushy as you were the first time, you don’t wanna now?”

“That’s- I…” Shuichi blinked. “You want to kiss me?”

“You don’t want to? I can do better.” he was determined to.

Shuichi’s eyes flickered to his lips, then back to his eyes. It was so quiet he could hear him gulp down saliva. “Sure I do.” He mumbled. “But it’s just a game to you. Ever since our last battle, when you were talking about how you’d show us that beautiful horizon, I wanted to, but it’s not..I’m your knight.”

“Since when,” He asked, slowly licking his lips. “ Since when do we follow the usual rules of the heroic guilds? What’s inappropriate for them is the norm for us; we have no honor, so don’t do acting noble now. Besides, remember what I said back then?”

“What did you say?” It was whispered, and Shuichi was looking so desperately at him that Tomura’s heart almost stopped completely.

“I said the wishes of my comrades were the only thing I wouldn’t destroy; they’re my wishes, too. So if there’s something you want, it’s my job to make sure you get it.” 

“I can’t break your curse.” Shuichi broke the gaze. “I can’t-”

“I wasn’t asking you to; I just want you to do what you want.” 

Shuichi hesitated, and was painfully gentle when he finally reached up, ran his claws through Tomura’s hair, and pulled him lower, closing the distance.

“Don’t regret any of the side effects.” Shuichi echoed his own words, softly.

“Like the witch said, I can’t love anyone, so I’ll be fine,” He tilted his head, and closed his eyes, and felt a glow, warm across his chest, bloom like a flower. 

He let his hands drift on Shuichi’s face, with care not to use five fingers. He’d never been this close to anyone; he felt like he had a fever, like he was melting. 

When he pulled away, Shuichi’s eyelashes fluttered open. He was left breathless; Was this what he’d been wishing for? 

How long had he wanted to kiss him back and hadn’t realized? He’d been jealous of the devotion the knight had had towards the blood rogue Stain, and wanted that, selfishly, to be on him; maybe he’d wanted it for a while, after all. Maybe he wanted more. Maybe...

The dull throb of the curse had faded, and he laughed to spite the witch, and because it felt euphoric to realize he wasn’t born solely from hate, but could also…

“S-Shigaraki?” Shuichi avoided his gaze. “Stop laughing, I actually tried this time-”

“You did fine; but I’m not happy with it.” He hummed. “I don’t like it if I’m not the best at it, so we have to again. Even if the curse was broken.”

“What?! I- I broke it?! Then- you-” Shuichi turned an adorable shade of pink, turning away. “What the hell, you can’t just- I gotta go!” A little spurt of fire blew out of his nostrils, making the room smell like smoke. 

He let him run out again, knowing full well he’d be back. And he fell back on the couch, grinning at the ceiling alone, heart racing, face hot.

Maybe Spinner was his horizon; beautiful, destructive, and bright. And Tomura?

 Tomura loved him.

[piipedreams]

47 + Sharon plus anyone! Your choice!

(it’s shillam again bc i’m weak n i love them. pls send all ur love to @artificialmeggie for checking through this for me too pls. also i’m on mobile bc i’m on holiday so sorry if this is horribly formatted)

for the prompt: “no one needs to know”

“FUCK!” Sharon exclaims, lashing blindly at her altar before storming to the other side of the room, her enraged stomps drowning out the sound of things tumbling over. She thinks about giving up entirely and throwing herself into the hammock Aquaria had insisted on erecting only to never use, but the combination of her current lack of luck and her lack of faith in her daughter’s carpentry skills convince her otherwise. Thus, she resigns herself to lying face-down on the wooden floor, booting the ground with the toe of her scuffed Dr Martens just for good measure.

“And you wonder where I get my dramatic streak from…” drawls an all-too-familiar and all-too-frustrating voice. Sharon’s daughter Aquaria is perched like a princess upon Sharon’s king-size bed, lounging back against a plethora of throw pillows and lazily waving a hand in the air supposedly to dry her nails. Sharon loves the little nightmare, she really does, but she’s not in the mood, knows that she’ll snap if she opens her mouth to respond and doesn’t want to put that on her. Luckily, Aquaria knows her all too well, not even giving her a chance to retaliate.

“Oh, and be careful with the altar. If you kick a candle over and set the place on fire I’m not taking the blame like I did when you burnt dinner last year. We’re both too old for that now, it’d be embarrassing.”

Aquaria is ten.

Sharon still doesn’t dignify her words with a coherent response, letting out a long, low groan just to remind her daughter of her current suffering and torment. She hears the sound almost immediately echoed from the bed, is unsure whether she’s being mocked or watching her daughter become herself and is unable to discern which option she’d hate more.

Lifting her head, she watches Aquaria flounce off the bed and flick her long, blonde hair over her shoulder with purpose, tiny heels clacking as she makes her way across the room, pausing to reassemble Sharon’s altar with what Sharon just knows is a hidden eye-roll. The little brat.

“Fine,” she announces in a sharp, impatient tone, as though Sharon had just made a decision or request she wasn’t aware of. As well as her flair for the dramatics, it seemed the kid had also inherited Sharon’s general distaste and impatience regarding other people. She was so proud. “If you’re not gonna talk to me, I’ll go and fetch somebody else for you to rant to.” And with those words she struts out of the room, her little wedge heels clicking against the wooden floors and her hair bouncing behind her, completely ignorant as Sharon calls out half-arsed protestations in an attempt to change her mind, get her to stay instead.

“Well don’t you look fucking pathetic?”

“No. Not you.” The smugness of the voice she hears, clearly revelling in the sight of Sharon, collapsed and defeated at her feet, kills any trust she had in her daughter. Because she could not have made a worse call than fucking Willam if she was really trying to provide her with any modicum of emotional support. When people told her having a kid would be the catalyst of her long impending breakdown, she’d never imagined this would be how. The little traitor.

The sound of stilettos, almost definitely red bottoms, grows louder and a pang of dread blossoms in her heart as she hears the woman approach, flippant and sarcastic in all the worst ways as she exclaims “Wow, okay. I thought we were friends!”

Sharon doesn’t have fucking time for her and her dumb games. “You thought wrong.”

Apparently Willam doesn’t have time for her either though, because her snickering suddenly stops, toes digging under Sharon’s side and then lifting as though trying to push her up, obviously to no avail.

“Get up.”

Sharon tries to ignore the way such a demand makes her jaw clench and muscles tighten somewhat.

“No,” she groans in response, long and whiny, determined to be as difficult for Willam as possible, to wield all her brattish and stubborn parts like a weapon and prolong the experience as much as she possibly can. It’s probably petty, definitely antagonistic, but she’s still frustrated and maybe Aquaria is smarter than she’d thought because she’d provided her mother with the greatest outlet - someone to wind up.

She relishes in the aggravated sigh she gets in return. “Get off the fucking floor and into that fucking hammock.”

The bite of the demand, the scratchy growl underlying in Willam’s voice as she speaks so plainly and apathetically, as though Sharon is nothing more than a mild inconvenience that won’t behave does something to Sharon. It’s the indifference of her voice, the way it essentially yells that she knows exactly what to do with Sharon, how to deal with her and why and that she has no doubt she’ll execute this control flawlessly causes a stir inside the woman, her teeth grinding ever so slightly and an involuntary shiver wracking her which seems to be the final straw.

Willam stamps her glitter Louboutins against the ground with enough force to snap the flimsy kitten heels in half, centimetres from Sharon’s head, her ankle brushing the outermost wisps of her hair in the movement and Sharon tries to ignore her body once again, biting back a whimper she knows would be pathetically high and embarrassingly needy as heat pools in her stomach. She mutters a resolute “fuck!” all hard vowels and spiked fricatives, finding comfort in the knowledge that Willam is just enough of a dumb blonde not to understand the true target of her exclamation.

Body protesting, she hauls herself to her feet and plods obediently over to the mesh hammock that hangs low in the corner of the room. Despite her best efforts, she has to admit that perhaps Willam did have a somewhat decent idea, collapsing into the fabric after feeling the pull of temptation deep in her stomach and letting out a small, audible groan at the way her body is so graciously welcomed. Her muscles relax, the brain fog and electric anger causing her current storm-like state beginning to ebb away as she closes her eyes, lies back and just breathes, deep, heavy, slow, and full, like she has all the time and all the oxygen in the world to enjoy. For just a moment, she forgets her not-quite-friend is even there, losing herself in the onslaught of sensations and sinking into her own, private, relaxed little haven of a world. Hell, for a moment she almost considers thanking Willam, a notion that leaves her head almost as immediately as it crosses it, the thought broken apart entirely by the interruption of none other than the woman of the hour herself.

“Cute.” In spite of their differences, Sharon has always found great pride in being the only one smart enough to be able to decipher Willam’s different tones and meanings, always picking up on a fake comment, sarcasm and every tiny emotion bitten back behind polite, uncharacteristic words. But when she says that one, tiny little word, Sharon is lost completely, unable to recognise whether it’s her own intrusive and self-absorbed thoughts causing her to detect a chink in Willam’s armour of sarcasm, some modicum of genuine emotion and belief behind the comment. Once again, however, she reminds herself that this is not the time nor place and pushes every thought stemming from it to be suffocated in a dark, faraway corner in her mind. She traps every branch within the area and blocks it up, pressing a label onto the jar of thoughts declaring it for a rainy day. She starts to miss her pre-Willam irritation as the woman clears her throat and continues. “...Anyway. Budge over.”

Still on autopilot, her body made of clay that moulds itself to Willam’s words, she finds herself obliging before she’s even really processed the words or what they imply, body shuffling closer to the window. With just a half-second of hesitation, Willam gracelessly kicks off her heels and plops herself right next to Sharon, a little off-centre so the hammock swings slightly as her shoulder collides with Sharon’s chest, grappling helplessly for an anchor to the rocking fabric and finding it, unfortunately, in Sharon’s t-shirt, her fingers clinging so tightly to the neckline that the tips dig into the soft flesh of her tits. A small part of Sharon - a wayward thought that had just about escaped the rainy day trap - secretly hopes that Willam has pressed hard enough to leave little marks in her skin, a visual reminder of her touch, the collision of her body with Sharon’s.

As the choppy movements of the hammock slow and eventually still, Willam begins to maneuver herself into a more comfortable position, rolling onto her front and overlapping the leg closest to her with her own. Her grip on Sharon’s top remains tight, her body seemingly trying to accommodate that one point of contact in the most convenient and comfortable way, resting her head atop and then above Sharon’s shoulder when the former doesn’t work out, face tilted towards her so that her breath bats softly against Sharon’s cheek and the slight bulge of her small chest pressed against Sharon’s left arm, rendering it dead and absolutely useless. Not that Sharon minds. Not that Sharon’s not going to pretend she does mind.

“Uh…. Will?” she asks cautiously, humiliated by the way her voice cracks ever so slightly, how overall delicate and gentle it sounds. Willam bumps against her in acknowledgement. Every part of her body that has the luxury of feeling Willam’s burns, the originally warm feeling growing more scalding and deadly the more she thinks about and accepts it. So she tries to amp it up a bit, this time almost obnoxiously loud and abrupt as she asks, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Cuddling you.” She halts for a moment as though that’s it, a horrendously obvious and yet cryptic answer, smirking at Sharon’s disapproving frown. Apparently, the expression was yet another step too far, and the stirring in her stomach starts up once again, this time the heat a result of a chemical reaction as lust and fear mingle together in the most addictive of ways as Willam’s face hardens, eyes stony and cold, her whole demeanour, despite being wrapped around Sharon, clearly indicating her aggravation. When she speaks, it’s snappy and abrupt again, the Willam that Sharon knows and therefore knows how to deal with - a no-nonsense bitch with a heart layered with stone and gold that knows exactly what she’s doing and why, and that it’s not really any of your business, thank you very much.

“Fine!” she snaps, eyes rolling so hard it’s a wonder she doesn’t do herself permanent damage. “I tried to be nice about it!” Sharon isn’t sure whether to believe that, the push and pull between them being so off and inconsistent all day that she’s actually never felt more on edge around Willam yet somehow never felt more comfortable around her either. She’s not so sure how nice that really is. “Like it or not, you’re a repressed little dyke who’s throwing her toys out her pram like a fucking toddler because she needs a hug and she’s touch starved by other woman. I’m trying to deliver.”

This time, the heat that had been pooling in her stomach doesn’t burn her or frighten her, instead spreading through her body as an almighty warmth, accomplices to the warm arms that wrap around her as Willam finishes speaking. It’s horrifyingly difficult not to react, as always with Willam, for an entirely different reason. Because Sharon has always prided herself on understanding Willam and the emotions and messages underlying in her words, and this one is clear as day - Willam cares. She notices, knows Sharon even if neither of them like the thought of that, and cares enough to want to help even when she knows she’s going to get nothing good out of it️. Sharon had wondered why of all people Aquaria had approached Willam, but the painstaking tenderness of her words and her touch leaves her wondering whether Aquaria even asked her at all, a thought far too exhilarating for her to continue thinking. Nevertheless, she makes a mental note to thank her daughter when she eventually returns, considering that maybe the new sewing machine she’d been begging for isn’t too expensive after all. Her head spins as she bites back a grin, trying to return to her permanently antagonistic state and diffuse the tension between them so thick, palpable and tangible it feels like a weapon.

“This is still too weird.” Her tone is so unconvincing, so wobbly and quiet and indirect she doesn’t even believe herself. Willam snickers.

“Well suck it up, bitch, I’m not here to ruin your image! No one needs to know Emo Goddess 666 needs a good hug sometimes.” She shuffles closer, every bitchy and humorous facade long gone from her expression. The thought of such vulnerability and trust between them threatens to swallow Sharon whole. Willam winks, nosing at Sharon’s chin as the arm clutching Sharon’s shirt finally releases the garment and rests lazily over the woman’s waist, a warm, protective anchor against all the shit she’s thought all day, week, year. “Or that she gets them.”

This time Sharon hums, too content and heavy-lidded to try and muster up a response. In another universe, she corrects Willam, reminds her that she’s goth, not emo, biting her lip and squeezing her thighs together as Willam tells her to shut the fuck up before she makes her. In this universe, however, Willam accepts the hum as a sign of Sharon’s begrudging complacency and trust, the sparks of hope that signify a new beginning almost visible were it not for how deeply she’d buried her face into the crook of Sharon’s neck at this point, the two of them entangled as though they belong this way. And maybe they do, so Willam pushes her luck, it seems.

“Hey, how about a kiss too?”