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einsatzzz · 7 months ago

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Ein's Art Log #1

@lixenn!! Here's the timelapse I recorded for my rarepair week submission! I'm just gonna start this log series because I wanna study art more and take notes of it here in this blog. And maybe it will help people with their drawings? I'm putting my notes below ↓↓↓

Draft & Lineart

First, for this art, I used a base made by Ging (깅). Using bases like these are always useful for a lot of things and it also forces me to draw things (like poses, hands, etc) I wouldn't normally draw by myself (if its up to just my hand with zero braincell input, I would just draw the characters facing 3/4 to the left over and over). Also a lot of them are just so *chef kiss*, god bless Korean artists. They're so good, especially with how they do the figures and anatomy!

I just adjusted the base a bit to match the characters' heights, since Kurumi is taller than Chrome by like 6cm.

Then when making the drawing a draft layer over the base, I usually use bright colors like green, red or blue (most often green). I usually don't think about the draft too much even if it turns out ugly, I think it's actually better that it turns out ugly and messy.

Otherwise, if the draft looks slightly more decent than expected, then I'd become too lazy to draw a more proper lineart. Whenever I remember to do so, I also use a gray-colored background so it's easier on my eyes, especially since I drew this after work.

For the "lineart", I used a brush called 촉펜 (MTL says it's "Touch Pen" in English; Content ID: 2050169). I recently started using this for doodles/sketches, it feels nice. It was free when I downloaded it, but it costs 10 Clippy now.

Anyway, I used a little bit more braincells for the "lineart" now after the draft, but then I didn't really try that hard to make it look clean, since I'm rushing to finish it as fast as I can. I just made sure that the outside lines are connected just enough for easier selection & coloring later.

Coloring & Shading

The coloring is where my experiment actually started! I usually go ahead and color them one-by-one per each color and part, but to be quicker, I used the Magic Wand selection tool to select the area outside the background, then inverting it so now the selection is at the characters *except* the background.

I then used the the bucket tool to fill the selection with the color I use as the base skin color. I still keep the selection there for further coloring purposes.

Just from here, I added another layer on top for the shading of the skin! For the shading, I used a brush called Yuri Watercolor (Content ID: 1889385). This one's really a paid brush, but I liked it a lot so I got it hahaha.

I do plan on replicating on doing this on IbisPaint one of these days! My plan so far is to use the free watercolor brush there, lower the brush opacity to around 60-70% and then draw the shading on a clipping layer set to the Multiply layer effect.

After shading, it looks like this now! I didn't mind the colors bleeding through the non-skin parts (except for two parts: the neck shading that would bleed to the face and thigh shading that would bleed to the skirt). I also used this brush to color Chrome's eye. Huhu I can't remember how I did it, helpskjfbjsbf

Then for the coloring of the hair and clothes, I just used the soft airbrush! I tried using the Yuri Watercolor brush for it too, but I couldn't quite grasp it yet on how to use it for coloring/shading those parts. I guess I know what to study next hahaha

When coloring the hair (and clothes), I did color the middle parts but didn't really full-on color till the edges to make that fading effect at the edge.

For the shading, I added clipping layers above and used the watercolor brush again!

For the hair highlights, I used the soft airbrush again. I just used a white color on a Soft Light layer effect to add a faint highlight on their hair (showed on picture on the left). Afterwards, I added another layer above with the Add/Glow effect and turned down the opacity to around 50%, to put more shine to it (showed on picture on the right).

Additionally, I also added a paper texture layer at the bottom! I also grouped up all the lineart and color layers into one folder and set the layer effect to Linear Burn.

Finally, after a bit color corrections/adjustments, blur filters (post-processing stuff, maybe for a different post?) and adding some decorations, the drawing is finally done! KuruKuro my beloved 💖

That's the process I'm playing around with so far, but I think I can still improve on it. I'm also planning on making a page on my wiki to compile my resources, references and such (maybe some free to use assets too). But anyway, that's all for now!

#putting this together is so fun!#einartlog

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ithinkabouttzu · 2 years ago

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Hi! I'm in love with your BoB ships❤can I ask one too?

She/her, 6'0. Long, wavy strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, slender body type. I'd say i'm playing the role of a "tough b*tch" with strict sense of duty and like to pretend that I can quickly overcome my feelings. But that's just a parade, deep down i'm a lonely, melancholic, lost little girl. I like to help people, care for them, but I don't open up easily. I have only a few friends. Sometimes i'm a little bit sarcastic and I loooove a challenge.

I like working out, hiking, exploring new places, or just chill on my own with Lana Del Rey music in the background.

Wow this sounds so bad but this is how I am. Anyways, thank you so much if you consider writing! ❤ and now i'm binge reading your blog (forgive me for my English, it isn't my first language).

Hi of course thank you for requesting lovely 💗!!

I ship you with…

Dick Winters!

- Okay you guys just go together, like reading your description, Dick immediately popped into my head. Like you guys just make sense, y’all give the same exact vibe and it would be a crime NOT to ship you with him

- Okay his first impression of you was, “Wow” just wow because you literally took all of the breath out of his lungs.

- But in all seriousness, you are beautiful to him, he absolutely admires your pretty long hair and soft eyes. My man’s is fully enamored with you and has no problem with that whatsoever

- When you guys first become friends, he tries his absolute hardest to be professional around you, he doesn’t want to make it uncomfortable relationship for you for making any moves, but at the same time he feels like if he doesn’t, he might not ever get the chance to again.

- So he takes you out on a walk during the prettiest sunset ever, and with a leap of faith and just confesses flat out to you that he does like you, he thinks you’re just a wonderful girl and that he would love to take you out sometime

- After completely falling for your looks, he falls even harder in love when he gets to know your personality, he loves how kind you are and how you just take control of a situation when it gets out of hand, literally just every little aspect of you he loves so much

- Usually when you’re with Dick, your tough and strong persona kinda just wears off, it’s not that you can’t handle certain things, but it’s nice to let someone else take the reins every once in a while

- Also it’s more of a trust thing too, when you’re with him you can be calm and peaceful, you don’t have to worry about anything really, he makes it comfortable for you to just be you around him and that is the sweetest thing literally ever

- TRUST ME when I tell you dating him would be so nice, like he would treat you like an absolute princess, we would spoil you with whatever you wanted, not with just materialistic things, but also mentally to, you guys know how to fill each other’s cup emotionally

- And with that being said, you can also take care of Dick so well, sometimes being a leader is STRESSFUL but you always try your best to care for him and show him that he can just be him around you

- For you to!! He can just sense when you’re sad or something’s up, but instead of asking you about it (unless you wanna talk about it then he’s totally down for talking) I think he’ll probably just try to comfort you with his actions

- okay I could see you guys just walking on a trail, like hiking, and you just have your earbuds in literally swaying to some lana music (same tbh) and he’s just over there like 🤨 “why are you dancing like that” and then you give him one of your earbuds and he completely understands (bc lana’s music is swaying music fr)

- But hiking or just exploring out nature with each other is so fun! You guys can always just be peaceful when you’re out there with no one to bother one another except for you two.

- ALSO, let me tell you how fun dates would be with you two, like Dick is such a romantic (or maybe I just get those vibes idk) and he would make the most special and unique little date nights planned, he would always leave you speechless with how thoughtful he is when it comes to date nights 🥹

- okay okay btw, i forgot to mention how much this man LOVES your hair, he thinks it’s so soft and pretty and he adores playing with it, like if he just rubs his fingers through your hair it’s almost certain that he’s gonna fall asleep

- usually you like chilling on your own (which is so relatable tbh) but when you start dating Dick, chilling with him is just so much better, you both can just relax with each other and do what both of you guys need to get done in peace (with some lana on in the back ofc)

- GIRL- the first time he sees you working out he is just in awe, he didn’t mean to disturb you or anything, he didn’t even notice you were working out til he heard your panting from the other room. he doesn’t mean to be turned on by it but he just can’t help it, he’s just sitting there like 😵‍💫

- He’ll try to just let you be and workout in peace, but you can’t help but get butterflies when you see him leaned up against the side of the door, looking at you like a whole SNACK

- When you’re sarcastic it’s either he loves the deadpan humor and he enjoys it, or he’s on the other side of that sarcasm and is silently praying for you to die down from it 😭 but he honestly enjoys your sarcastic humor unless you guys are in an argument

- But this man loves you actually like so much, almost too much, and just know that you guys will have each-others back regardless, you and him can always lean on one another and you guys make hanging out so soft and comfy for one another 🤗🥹 (YALL ARE SO CUTE OMG)

Thank you for requesting lovely!! I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading my blog!! :) 💖💖

#band of brothers #band of brothers ships #dick winters #ithinkabouttzu

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webbedphantom · 6 months ago

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So something I've kinda been realizing is that I didn't fully understand Akechi. Now, that's not entirely my fault, because what made me realize this has been reading cut/easily missable dialogue that shows a better insight into him.

He's not as sadistic or cruel as he pretends to be, he doesn't like what he's doing, he's just too deep into it to turn back, and so he (probably) puts on the act so he can live with himself. A fake it till you make it sorta thing.

The reason I bring this up is that this does kinda mess with my plans regarding his role in the AU. Some of it still works, but there's a decent chunk of stuff that just doesn't fit him anymore. Now yes, he still does some pretty bad stuff, and there is the symbiote that helps excuse the more out there stuff, but I'm not sure if that'll work for everything I'd originally planned.

So, I've come up with a solution. A new character to help fill that void, and one I think has some major potential.

Hobgoblin

For those unaware, which is probably most of you considering he's only been in one cartoon and zero of the movies, Hobgoblin is an interesting character, a small time crook turned major league supervillain when he stumbled upon one of Norman Osborne's Green Goblin safehouses, using the gear to make a name for himself in the criminal underworld.

Now the interesting part about him is that in the original story, his identity was a major mystery for the book, similar to how Green Goblin was originally. He was always working behind the scenes, trying to tip the odds in his favor, yet even when he was out of costume we never saw his face.

... The ending to that mystery was fumbled incredibly hard due to petty writers, office politics, and a very strange game of telephone, but that's beside the point.

I really like this idea, and I wanna try to do something similar, but with a few twists.

This Hobgoblin would be working in the background starting after the first semester, seeming at first glance to be a follower of Yaldabaoth, working in to weaken the barrier between the real world and the Metaverse (Which if you're new here, is a big part of this AU that is best explained in another post) But his entire ideology seems to be at odds with the Grail's, as he enjoys inciting chaos rather than trying to create order.

He's also a bit of a mix between the Classic Hobgoblin and Demogoblin, though instead of demons, he gets his powers and equipment from shadows. Able to control and weaponize any that are nearby, similar to Akechi's insanity... thing. Though, when I say weaponize, I mean literally turn them into a weapon based on whatever that shadow is good at. Like turning Nue into a giant sledgehammer, or Seth into a dragon-themed Rocket Launcher, though they're not limited to just that one thing, but rather anything that takes advantage of their skills.

This idea is still kinda bare bones atm, but what I will say is that I'm going to try to make his identity an actual character from the Persona series. Because I don't think the mystery would be satisfying if the answer was just "Random OC character that was introduced purely for the sake of being Hobgoblin," especially in an RP setting, where its even harder to introduce those characters. I do have one in mind, but I'd need to do a bit more research to make sure they're a good fit.

Either way, I'm excited to develop this guy a bit more! It'll not only be a fun challenge to try to weave an interesting mystery, but his schemes will eventually lead to the event I've been wanting to write for ages. Kingdom Come, which is basically the symbiote invasion from Web of Shadows but with shadows, and the added threat of Palaces manifesting in the real world.

No idea if that would be done through threads (which I'd like to do, but it might be too ambitious for me to handle) or if through a drabble or two, but regardless it'll be fun to actually do it

Anyways, I still have no idea how to end posts like this so-

Bye

#q'd #ooc - out of costume;#au thoughts #Phantom Spider Villains #phantom spider au

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stormclouds-chainmail · 7 months ago

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[Video transcript with descriptions of the images: a Tiktok video by @ AnnaAkana showing two characters played by the same person. Long post so transcript under the cut.

Person 1: hey how do you deal with self doubt? How do you create art in the face of so much criticism and hate and being so bad at things in the beginning?

Person 2: okay bestie. Chill out. Rude. You could have stopped several words ago.

Person 1: no but I mean you, you always just go for it, you know, you're willing to just try stuff and I feel like I get paralysed at the idea of being bad or being perceived and then I blink and give years have gone by and I've done nothing.

Person 2: okay. Have you ever seen Hokusai's The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife painting?

Person 1: no

Person 2: you definitely know Hokusai. He created one of the most iconic images in history the Great Wave off Kanagawa.

Video cuts to the painting of a large blue and white wave engulfing two or three small wooden fishing boats with a tall snow capped mountain possibly Mount Fuji in the background.

Person 2: it's that Japanese tidal wave image that's in like every sushi restaurant and white boys house next to like his samurai sword collection. So anyway Hokusai made that but like 15 years prior he made the Dream of the Fisherman's Wife.

There's a crashing sound as the video cuts very briefly to a painting of a Japanese woman lying on her back and being pleasured by two octopuses then back to the confused face of person 1.

Person 1: what is what what

Another crash as the painting is shown again. The nipples and crotch area are censored by black blocks. The large octopus has its mouth over her crotch and its tentacles around her body. The small octopus is beside her head with a tentacle in her mouth and some on her chest and neck. The background is filled entirely with Japanese writing.

Person 1: what does this have to do with anything?

Person 2: okay. So what you're looking at is a woman being pleasured by a daddy son cephalopod duo but I wanna direct your attention to the background where you see like a ton of Japanese right. Now I'm gonna translate what this Japanese says.

Person 1: oh no

Person 2 clears her throat: so the large octopus is saying, "Your "bobo" is ripe and full, how wonderful! To suck and suck and suck some more. All eight limbs to interwine with!! How do you like it this way? Ah, look! The inside has swollen, moistened by the warm waters of lust."

Person 1: oh

Person 2: the super hot bestie here is saying, "Your sucking at the mouth of my womb makes me gasp for breath! Aah! Yes... it's... there!!! With the sucker, the sucker!! Inside, squiggle, squiggle, oooh! Oooh, good, oooh good! There, there! Theeeeere! Goood! Whew! Aah! Good, good, aaaaaaaaaah! Yes, it tingles now; soon there will be no sensation at all left in my hips. Ooooooh! Boundaries and borders gone! I've vanished...!!!!!!"

Person 2: now the tiny bestie here is saying, "After daddy finishes, I too want to rub and rub my suckers at the ridge of your furry place until you disappear and then I'll suck some more. "Chyu chyu...""

Person 2: which is like kissing noises.

Person 1 covers their face.

Person 2: this is in a museum. It's in the British Library in London. So if you ever doubt yourself just remember this man created the original tentacle corn in 1814 and then he went off to become one of the most celebrated artists of all time. Because he drew like the ocean. So your art it's, it's probably fine.

Person 1: wow okay. That is not where I expected this video to go

Person 2 chuckles: but it worked right.

Person 1: honestly yeah. Yeah it did. I don't, I don't think I'm gonna overthink my art anytime soon after knowing that this, this exists.

Person 2: you know it's really interesting the Japanese title for this piece is actually called Tako to Ama which means the octopus and the shell diver and there's a debate in the artistic community that the Western translation the Dream of the Fisherman's Wife actually robs this woman of her agency and dilutes the painting's true message. Don't fuck your coworkers.

Person 1: yeah definitely got that message from looking at that.

Person 2: imagine if we thought about porn titles like this

Person 1: oh Raiders of the Lost Ass focuses too much on the raiders not enough on the ass.

Person 2: Men in Back. Why aren't we centering this on whose back it is.

Person 1: Inspect Her Gadget. That one passes the Bechdel test and I like the implication that she's just got a really great toy

Person 2: Pulp Friction services both parties

Person 1: Position Impossible equal representation

Person 2: The Hills Have Thighs indeed they do

Both snap their fingers.

Person 1: Willy Wanker, we love a self love message

Person 2: Cherry Poppins an innocent coming of age between two consenting parties

Person 1: Chitty Chitty Gangbang alludes to the community

Person 2: Big Trouble in Little Vagina okay now I know this is getting ridiculous and I already know that, that no sponsor is going to sign off on this so this video is just for me.

Person 1: it's just for me.

Person 2: it's just for us

Person 1: and it's probably gonna get banned on the internet. It's gonna get shadow banned. But you gotta know about it. And now you're never gonna stop thinking about it just like I don't. I think about it every day.

Person 2: I'm not even making any money on this. Let's be real. I paid to make this. I paid to make this video. I lost money bringing this message to you.

Person 1: you're welcome.

Person 2: so

Person 1: every video costs $3000

Person 2: um subscribe I guess. I don't know.

End description]

Anna Akana

Hokusai - Dream of fisherman's wife

#video transcription #described #long post #tentacles #Hokusai #octopus

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herbalsingularitea · 2 years ago

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hiii i just wanted to say i really, really admire your writing so much. it's so beautiful and the way you capture characters is incredible. feel free to ignore this if you aren't comfortable sharing, but i was just curious if you'd be willing to offer any tips or maybe even personal insight on how you write Bernard? i'm wanting to work on a fic of my own, but i feel i always kind of find myself doubting or struggling with capturing characters properly, despite doing character analysis and such. anything you're willing to share, i would love to read! that being said, i adore your current Bernard fic series, and i can't wait for later chapters! <3

This was such a nice message to get hhhh thank you 🥺 I’m constantly taken aback by how my writing has been received,, it’s incredibly humbling and I so so so appreciate all the nice feedback I get

For Bernard, I try to keep a few key things in mind about his personality/motivation whenever I write him. At the same time, I try to think about what his strengths are vs his flaws.

1) He’s a good leader, but not a tyrant. He’s encouraging to the elves, but not overbearing. He scolds Curtis for being too caught up in the Handbook and also Toy Santa for being so strict about the naughty/nice list, so we know he’s fine with fudging the rules sometimes. This probably extends to a lot of things in his life—how he treats the elves, Scott, and any love interests as well.

2) He’s old af and so probably has been through a lot of things, but not everything! Which can make some interesting scenes where he seems very wise and sure one moment then nervous and doubtful the next (ex: he might know how to handle a disagreement with a friend, but he might NOT know how to handle a disagreement with a lover depending on what background you wanna give him) lots of fun ways to play with this imo

3) He’s a hard worker and appreciates other hard workers. This seems to be a given for most elves but I like to push it to its breaking point with Bernard so that it’s his obvious flaw. He works too hard and he doesn’t wanna talk about it or change his ways at all lol. Which makes sense since he’s in charge, of course he’d want to keep everything on track.

4) He’s an elf! And in my world, elves gonna elf! I take a lot of inspiration from fae lore about how the fair folk behave. Bernard gets portrayed in fic a lot as just a big stick in the mud who’s hot so the love interest falls for him anyways despite him not being very fun. But he IS fun! He’s an elf! Elves love sweets and laughing and playing and snowball fights and dancing and singing and playing pranks and all kinds of mischievous things. So Bernard does too! I give him a few favorites in those things (ex: he likes cider in particular and Freddie Mercury and dancing) and that always helps bring an extra spark to a character.

Honestly I feel like I put a lot of myself into his character. Or maybe I just write characters in scenarios I’ve similarly been in before so it’s easier to know how they might feel/act? Idk but writing what you know seems like a good place to start in general I guess!

At the end of the day, we don’t have a ton of source material for him because he’s a side character. Maybe that means it’s difficult to capture him accurately but I prefer to think of it as an opportunity to fill in the blanks. Every character portrayal is gonna be different from one author to another and that’s okay. That’s great, actually! Take what you can from a character study and put your own spin on it. You know some things about him. Use those to make guesses about the rest of his character based on your own experiences and personality.

Don’t doubt yourself too much. Just have fun with it! Nobody can write Bernard how you’ll write him.

#my asks #I hope this helps ?? idk #tldr don’t sweat it #Bernard the elf #tsc #the santa clause

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writteninkat · 4 years ago

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vii - stargazing idiots

word count - 2,854

warnings - reader goes through what is caused by past trauma, mentions of death, mentions of murder

"Angels like you can't fly down hell with me. I'm everything they said I would be."

index

Right after All Might showed up, your body gave up on you and Tsuyu and Izuku had to help keep you up. Your eyelids felt heavier than ever and your head felt like it was going to burst. Your breathing is ragged and the last thing you see is Aizawa's bloodied body before darkness swallows you hole.

It's cold. So very cold.

You open your eyes only to be greeted by a never ending darkness. You feel like you're floating in water.

"Y/n." You hear his all too familiar voice. It's deep, if you could feel it it would feel like rubbing against sandpaper, it's also very cold and a sound that's void of any emotion.

"You did this to me." All of a sudden, Aizawa is standing in front of you, face bloodied and brusied, arms broken and turned to numerous directions. "Why are you so weak?!" He yells as tears begin streaming down your face.

You curl your body, placing your hand on your ears to try and block out your teacher's voice, but it's as if they're everywhere. They're around and inside you.

"I died because of you!" Aizawa yells, gis voice echoing inside your head. "The nomu didn't kill me, you did! You are a murderer! It's because you're so weak that I died!"

You scream, your body feeling immense pressure as hot tears stream down your face. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You yell.

"You killed me. You can never be a hero. You are a murderer, you hear me! I murderer!" You open your eyes, your body shaking as you watch his hand about to grab you.

"I'm not a murderer!" You yell, your eyes opening to the sight of a white ceiling. "Y/n! Calm down! It's just a nightmare!" You hear his gruff voice beside you, it always managed to calm you down. As you turn your head to face him, Katsuki can't help but feel his heart break at the sight of your cheeks wet with tears and eyes red and puffy.

"Suki..." You sob, your body immediately being pulled into a warm hug as Katsuki whispers shushes into your ear. His hand strokes your hair as his arms tigten around you. "It's okay, just let it all out. Cry to me. I'm right here."

Your loud sobs and yelling fill the rooms, even alerting some of the nurses but Katsuki motions for them to leave you two alone.

Your heart feels like it's being crushed and it feel difficult to breathe. Despite this, you don't want Katsuki to let you go. You don't want his familiar warmth to leave your side, not now when you're feeling especially vulnerable.

When your sobs quiet down, Katsuki slowly pulls away, looking into your eyes. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here." He shushes, wiping away your tears as his eyes analyze yours.

"You're okay. What made you cry out like that?" He asks, thumb caressing your cheek softly. You place a hand on his wrist, melting into his touch as you closed your eyes, letting your tears fall.

"Aizawa sensei... He... I killed-"

"We heard Y/n was yelling. What's wrong?!" Midnight barges in, making you immediately turn to her. Behind her she has Present Mic and someone else who's wrapped up in bandages.

Your eyes widen, "Aizawa... sensei..." You mutter, the bandaged-up person tilting his head to the side. "Yes? Are you okay, Y/n?"

Tears fill your eyes again, but this time, there's no longer weight on your shoulders or heart and it feels much easier to breathe. You start sobbing once again, Katsuki looking lost and confused as to what he's supposed to do.

"You're not dead!" You sob, "I thought I killed you- hic- because I was too weak!" You cry out, using your knuckles to wipe away your tears only for them to be replaced by new ones.

"I thought I became a murderer-hic-because I was too weak to protect you, and you died because of me!" You don't even notice Aizawa walking up to you. Despite his bandaged state and the casts he has on both arms, he pulls you into a slightly awkward hug. You wrap your arms around his torso, careful not to hurt him with it.

"Why are you carrying such a burden? Why do you have such thoughts, little girl?" Aizawa asks, his tone hurt. "I have these injuries because I chose to protect you, my students. If I ever get hurt, never, and I mean never blame yourself for it."

You bury your face onto his chest, tears rolling at his words. "Heroes go through stuff like these every time. We sacrifice ourselves to protect the weak and also to keep the peace. In your journey to becoming a hero, you will encounter many situations like these, some are even more worse. But just remember my words-" he pushes you softly, looking down at your swollen eyes. "-have courage, have faith on yourself and the people around you. Trust in them to prevail through just like how you will. Remember that we are all strong because we are heroes but that doesn't mean we have to carry all the burden by ourselves. Be good to yourself and let go if you need to. You're only sixteen, it's okay to act like a child sometimes."

You never thought you'd hear those words from your homeroom teacher who always seemed so indifferent, but at the end of the day, he truly does care about his students from the bottom of his heart.

"Good evening, visiting hours ended five minutes ago. Only miss L/n's guardian if allowed to stay with her." A nurse knocks on your open door, catching everyone's attention.

"I'll be her guardian-" Katsuki cuts off Midnight's words, "Not so fast. I'm her guardian."

"None of you are my guardians." You sigh, "It's been a tiring day and I just want you all to rest. Especially you guys, Aizawa sensei and Katsuki." You move to lay on your bed, but Katsuki raises you a questioning brow.

"What do you mean long day? You've been out for two days." Your eyes widen at his words. You turn to look at the teachers and they all giving knowing nods. "Wait- so does that mean-" You point at Katsuki who rolls his eyes, "Yes, dumbass. I've been watching over you this whole time." At the realization of his words, Katsuki turns away to hide his blush and yet again, fails to notice the red tips of his ears.

"Anyway, the doctors say that you'll be discharged tomorrow morning so you can-" You cut of Aizawa, "Finally go back to school!" You sigh, stretching your arms out and then letting out a sigh.

"I was going to say stay home and rest but if that's what you want then I won't stop you. Bakugou." Katsuki turns around, his face and ears no longer flushed and is back to it's natural scowling state. "I'm not sure how or why your parents allowed you to stay here at the hospital but I'm glad at least someone is taking care of her. There are many qualified pros scouting this area especially at night so you two can rest easy."

With one last nod, the teachers all walk away, bidding the two of you good night. The door closes and you reach over to take your phone from the bedside table, unlocking it. Your eyes widen at the sight of forty-seven missed calls from your mom and just as many number of unread text messages.

"Your mom was called by the school about your situation and assured her that you were alright, but I guess that didn't stop her from blowing up your phone." Katsuki says, eyes on the apple he's peeling.

"Sorry about that, I bet you didn't get enough sleep with all the calling." Your eyebrows knit together in cringe as you force out a smile to which Katsuki shakes his head at. "Your mom is probably the one who didn't get any sleep at all. You should call her and ensure to her that you're alright." He points the knife at your phone before returning back to peeling the apple.

You call your mother in facetime and it rings twice before she answers. "Y/n oh my god! Are you alright, baby?! No, don't answer that. I'm on my way there right now-"

"Mom, what do you mean on your way- here in Japan?" Your eyes scan her background, heart falling to your stkmach as you recognize the airport.

"Hold on! Stop, stop! Mom! You have work back there in the states, you can't come to Japan."

"But you're hurt-"

"Mom," You sigh, "Look, I'm sorry for worrying you. But I swear, I'm fine. Just a few bruises and scrapes but what's a hero without scars, am I right?"

Your mom looks like she stopped walking as she sends you a wordied expression to which you smile reassuringly at her. "I'm fine, mom. Don't worry about me. I'll be able to take care of myself."

"But who's taking care of you in the hospital? I'm going there right now and-"

"Mom, even if you did come here now, I'll be discharged by the time you get here. Plus-" you look at Katsuki who's busy slicing the apples into little slices, designing them to look like bunnies. "-Someone's already taking care of me here. I'll be fine."

Your mother sighs, defeated as you watch her turn around. "Just- stay safe okay? I don't have anyone else."

"I know, mom. I love you so much."

"I love you more, my baby girl."

The two of you pucker your lips for a kiss before ending the call. You lean your back onto your now inclined bed, looking down at the bunny slice Katsuki is offering you. He still has that glare in his eyes, but if you look into them even more, they're much more softer. You take the slice from his fingers, letting out a soft thank you before taking a bite.

"When you blamed yourself a while ago." He starts, making you flinch at the topic. "Don't do that again."

"Suki-"

He slams the knife onto the table, "Please. It's not your fault. Even the strongest people have weaknesses. Don't put all the weight on yourself, please."

Your eyes widen at how vulnerable his voice sounds right now. You reach over, placing a hand on his soft hair. You smile softly, "Alright. I'm sorry I did that. I promise to rely on you more."

Katsuki looks up at you, eyes glassy and face flushing. "I never said you needed to rely on m-"

"I wanna look at the stars." You cut him off quickly, hopping off your bed to saunter towards the window. You push the glass window open, leaning in and taking a deep breath of the cold night air, smiling. You look up at the stars, wishing you had access to the rooftop since the view would be better up there.

"You know, we are at the twenty fifth floor of the hospital." Katsuki says, folding the fluffy blanket that you didn't even realize you were using. You don't think it's yours given that you've never seen it before. Was it Katsuki's?

"What are you saying?" You ask, letting him put on a sweater on you. Again, this piece of warm clothing wasn't yours as well. But by the sweet caramel scent it gave off, you come to a conclusion that this belonged to the angry blond gremlin who is currently standing on the window why the hell is he standing on the window?!

"Bakugou! Are you crazy?! Get off the window now!" You yell, pulling at his pants. "Oh stop being a square." He pushes the warm blanket on you, pulling you with him off the window and out of the hospital room. Before you let out a scream, he uses his quirk to push you two upwards, his hand gripping your sides tightly as your feet land on the cemented rooftop of the hospital.

At the notice of you no longer in the doorstep of death, you resort to hitting Katsuki's arm, letting your mouth run as you lecture him about how dangerous that act was. He responds to your reprimanding with a loud, milky, genuine laugh. Your hand comes to a hault as well as your mouth and you just stand there, awestruck at how handsome Katsuki actually looks when he's smiling.

You place a closed hand on your chest, feeling as your heart thumps against it vigorously. Ah, there it was again. The butterflies in your stomach that made your body feel lighter than it usually felt and your drying throat as well as your sweating palms.

"Come on, I find stargazing relaxing." He says, the usual angry tone of his voice gone, catching you off guard. He wraps his hand around your wrist softly, pulling you towards the center of the rooftop. He places the soft blanket on the ground, folding it once so it isn't too thin before laying down, patting the empty space for you. You mirror his actions, laying down beside him as you gazed up at the stars.

"You ever wonder what the alternative universe us are like?" You ask, eyes staring up at the twinkling stars as Katsuki raises a brow, turning his head towards you. "You believe in that bullshit?" He chuckles, making you gasp. "Don't call it bullshit! What else are the stars for??"

Katsuki presses his lips together to stop his laughter, "I don't know~ What are they for?" He asks you, tone sarcastic and pushing you off the edge. "To tell us about the future, and to show us how many other worlds are there other than ours!"

Katsuki can no longer hold in his laughter, clutching his stomach as he laughs his heart out. You narrow your eyes at him, pouting and crossing your arms against your chest. "Let me guess, let me guess." Katsuki wipes a tear away, "You also believe in the red string of fate?"

"How could you not believe it when-" You stop yourself from continuing your words. How could you not believe it when it caused the two of us to meet?

"When what? Come on, tell me! I promise not to laugh." You turn away, sitting up. Katsuki is still laughing as he follows you, taking your hand in his. "What else do I not know about you?" He asks, curling his four fingers with yours as he stands his thumb up, preparing for a thumb wrestle. You follow his actions and the two of you start the game. "I can't swim." You start.

"I had a pet goldfish but it died after a week." Katsuki chuckles.

"I only ever had two friends growing up- they were my mother's bodyguards. Eliot and Andrew."

"I like to cook."

"I still have my stuffed toys from when I was young."

"I tried to learn how to drive but after almost running over a cat, I swore never to drive again."

"I was pretty popular in middle school."

You chuckle, "I was bullied in middle school."

Katsuki stops moving his thumb, allowing you to pin his down. Your face brightens up as you smile, "I win!" You look up at him, smile almost immediately falling at the sight of his grin expression.

His head drops, covering up his eyes. "Hey, what happened? Did I say something wrong? Come on Suki, talk to me."

"I'm- Do you hate bullies?" He asks, his head still hanging.

"Well, hate is a strong word..." You look up at the stars, as if they were going to give you the right word you were looking for. "But I dislike them. What's the point of putting down someone especially when they've done nothing wrong to you? I don't use the word hate because I don't want to use it incorrectly, but to me bullies are sometimes just misunderstood or something. They have that superiority complex and I like to think that they have it because of their past that we don't know about or the thoughts they have in their heads."

You feel him padding his thumb over your hand. "Hey, you okay?" You ask, cupping his jaw to make him look uo at you. The look in his eyes, takes you aback- he looks so sad and regretful which only stirrs up more questions in your head.

"You're so good. You're such a good person, Y/n." His words cause you to furrow your brows in confusion. What was going on inside his head?

He drops his head to your shoulder, "You're an angel, Y/n. People are so lucky to have you in their lives."

You don't even think twice before the words leave uour mouth. "Even you?"

It takes him a few moments to respond and you begin to think that you made a mistake asking him that, but you feel him nod on your shoulder. "Especially me."

#bakugou fanfiction #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x y/n #mha bakugou #bakugou bios #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #mha fluff #bnha bakugou #bnha fluff #my hero fluff #my hero fanfic #boku no hero fluff

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ticci-toe-beans · 3 years ago

Text

A killer love story

Jeff the killer x Y/N

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Y/N POV

—————

The wind howled throughout the forest, the house groaned, and the fire crackled...

To be honest y/n wasn't even sure if this was real or just a hallucination but one thing was for sure they wanted to stay like this even as there bones grew old and flowers and vines swallowed them whole

How did y/n even get into this place, how did they even meet him

Like how all good story's start

Once upon a time...

——————————-

The light shined annoyingly through that one crack in the curtains that never fully closed all the way...

And of course I had to pull the short straw and get the shitty curtains.

Nothing in my life was inherently bad...just really annoying, my parents are fine we get paid ok and I get okayish grades.

Yeah I have friends but even that is debatable... they all just drain me and then I see them whispering to each other, it's honestly probably nothing but it doesn't help that icky feeling go away.

I never understood the saying "the straw that broke the camel's back" as a child but right now it's like putting my life into words

—————————————-

Y/n just sat there looking at there mirror seeing the clock in the background slowly tick and tick closer to when the alarm was set to go off.

They could never turn it off in time always a few seconds late to it.

The stupid alarm rang throughout the room as they sighed getting ready to go to school... specifically on Saturday

You see after getting accused of cheating along with them missing a lot of school days they had to do Saturday school, fun right...

————————————————-

My legs felt like fire as I walked to the high school. My shoulders uncomfortably holding the weight of the "why the hell do they give us so much books ow ow this hurts" backpack.

Even as I walked as fast as I can (which was not that fast but ok I am trying my best here) I barely get through the gates before the bell rang.

"Wow I'm so lucky that my moms car broke just a few days ago... yay"

I scowl to myself as I note that on Monday we have the dreaded mile, and that my legs will still be aching by Monday... if only I had taken PE last year I would have already have had my credits in for it.

But in the past you can only know so much about the future you... but I can still curse out my past self

Anyways putting aside my anger I made my way to the classroom at lest then I can have a break and get off my feet.

"Room 301 Miss, Ranxt... an interesting last name but I think this is the right room or at least it looks like it"

Honestly the last part was just a statement as it was obvious that is was the right one as kids poured into the classroom, but you can never be to sure I guess

I tried to calm myself down as the last time I got into trouble was in elementary.

I took my seat as she introduced herself and let us get to work.

——————

It was around 5 minutes before the bell rang that I was done

Perfect timing

I thought to myself as my fingers ran over the chair feeling all the dents and cracks in in but I didn't dare touch the underside of the chair you never know what your going to find... yeah I don't wanna take that chance...again.

My fingers ran over a particular spot on the chair it was around the top of it where your back leans onto the chair. It felt like a name that was carved into it...

I tried to feel the name but only being able to fee it all I got was a "J" and I think it was an "e" or is it an "c"?

I couldn't really tell but I would be able to see it once I got up.

And just as I said those words it felt as timed slowed down as the clock felt like it wasn't moving...

I sighed as of course just as I want to one get out of here and to read the name the world really gave me the middle finger

I zoned out and just started focusing on tiny details nothing really interesting just something to fill the time with.

The bell finally rang as the class started to pack up, honestly I think I zoned out so hard that I almost forgot to look at the name.

It was a bit hard to read as it was carved crudely into the chair but it read

"JEFF"

Huh it might have been a coincidence but I heard a rumor that there was gonna be a new student named Jeff don't know the last name but I guess he had already made himself home...

————————————————

To be continued

A killer love story part- 1/?

Word count- 842

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#creepypasta #jeff the killer #y/n #story #character x y/n #Spotify

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ahkaahshi · 4 years ago

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Dear Fran, I have come with my option a request. I hope you will accept with an open heart 😃 hear me out ok #4 ♥️ scenario with Atsumu + Osamu, I'm their lil sister rooming with them (IS THIS ALLOWED, IF NOT IT'S OK, I just want to be called Wan-chan and call them Tsumu and Samu nii-chan 🥺) anyway it's a weekend night so,, COCKTAIL PARTY IN THE LIVING ROOM!! So as we're chilling and getting drunker by the minute on drinks mixed by ourselves for each other, I started rambling about [1/2]

prompt: ♥︎ #4 -> make your own fluffy friendship scenario

roomies: the miya twins + ushijima wakatoshi as the non-roomie love interest

genre: fluff, specific reader insert

warning(s): swearing, alcohol usage

my note to you: dear wan, of course I will hear you out forever and always 😂 a cocktail party with the siblings sounds so fun lol I'm over here an only child 😭 this whole thing sounds so funny to me 😂 y-you think I have a big brain?? ty bb but it’s only bc u lend me your big brain energy ❤️

getting drunk with the miya twins and venting about your bf ushijima [scenario]

y’all do these roomie/sibling cocktail parties at least once a week just to let off some steam. you n samu have learned thru experience not to let tsumu play bartender tho bc the man’s tolerance is thru the roof and his drinks are STRONG

like he’s got that heavy “two shots of vodka” *cookie monster falling in the background* pour

anyway, this evening ends up taking a more serious turn bc you start crying to them about how your relationship with ushijima has been a lil rocky lately

your big bros are your ride or dies and of course they wanna comfort you, but in their drunken state, their problem solving skills are a bit... less reasonable than usual (and that’s scary bc when are they're already shaky to begin with???)

seeing you cry over ushijima is making them kinda heated low key so next thing you know, they’re calling an uber and grabbing silly string that you didn’t even know you owned

“Can ya take us here?” Atsumu asks as he slides into the passenger seat of your chariot for the night in the form of a blue sedan and holds your phone towards the driver. The man nods and puts the address into his own phone before pulling away from the curb.

In the backseat, you let your head flop against the headrest while Osamu holds the cans of silly string securely. “’Tsumu nii-chan...” you groan with indignation when he plops your phone back into your palm, “This is such a stupid--” you interrupt yourself with a hiccup--“idea.”

“Ah, chill out, Wan-chan!” Atsumu complains, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “Quit bein’ such a party pooper.”

“’Sides,” Osamu pipes up from where he’s sitting beside you, “ya don’t even hafta do shit. Jus’ sit tight ‘nd let yer better thirds take care of it.”

You reach for his arm in the back of the dark car so you can smack him before doing the same to the back of Atsumu’s head when he laughs at his brother’s smart comment. “’Samu nii-chan! Usually you’re the voice of reason.”

With a small chuckle, he reaches into the pocket of his sweater and retrieves a small flask that you don’t even remember seeing him fill up. “Nah, that responsibility’s all yours, right now, Wan-chan.” You grumble with defeat as he takes a long swig of its contents before handing it over to you. In spite of being less than enthusiastic about the whole situation, you take a long drink and pass the container back, intentionally skipping over Atsumu’s outstretched hand since you both know he’ll finish it in one go.

When the apartment complex where your boyfriend resides appears in your view, you bargain, “At least lemme talk to ‘im first.”

“If you must,” Atsumu sighs.

Osamu requests that the driver waits for you all to return--which he agrees to after he shows him Atsumu’s card and offers double the fare for his troubles--before the three of you pile out of the car. Your brothers follow you as you take the familiar path to Ushijima’s front door, but hide behind a bush when you shoo them away and give it a knock.

The door slowly opening a few moments later brings you face to face with your boyfriend and makes your head spin from more than just the alcohol. “Wakatoshi...” you utter softly, (e/c) eyes finding his slightly shocked, olive gaze.

“Wan?” he murmurs, “What are you doing here?” His nose twitches at the smell of alcohol lingering on you from the drink Atsumu spilled on the sleeve of your sweater earlier. “Are you drunk?”

You wave away all of his questions and respond with an increasingly noticeable slur, “I’m here to stop my brothers from covering... yer apartment in shilly shtring.”

His eyebrows furrow in confusion, but his face quickly drains of all emotion when you see his eyes shift to something behind you. Sure enough, your troublesome siblings have emerged from their hiding place and are now standing a few feet away, silly string cans raised in a way that you can only assume is meant to be threatening.

“Wan-chan’s real broken up over these arguments ya’ve been havin’,” Atsumu pipes up. You heave a long sigh and put your hand over your face out of the embarrassment you feel towards the whole situation. As if just showing up unaccounted for hadn’t been bad enough, you were drunk, and so were your two older brothers about to turn vandals that had accompanied you.

Ushijima clicks his tongue before speaking again in that usual, authoritative tone of his. “I understand. You can go. I’ll take care of Wan and make sure they get back home safely tomorrow.” With that said, he wraps an arm around your shoulders, bringing you close to him as he allows you inside his apartment so you can sober up and talk. He sends a nod in Atsumu and Osamu’s direction before closing the door.

There’s a long moment of silence as your siblings come to terms with what’s just happened. In an instant, Atsumu lunges towards the door, finger pressed against the nozzle of the silly string can, and Osamu wraps his arms around his torso to restrain him. “Fuckin’ quit!” he grunts, trying to reach for the can, “’S gonna be fine!”

“Jus’ lemme tag the motherfucker so he knows not to mess with us.” Osamu grumbles but relinquishes his grip around Atsumu so he can go to the doorstep and paint what he knows is meant to resemble a dick on the wall in silly string. Once he’s satisfied with his work, he says, “Aight, let’s dip.”

#fran writes hq!!#haikyuu!!#miya atsumu #miya osamu #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu x reader #x reader #reader insert #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu #hq!!#anime #manga #funny #fran's 600 milestone event!!#fran writes requests!!

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werifestaria · 4 years ago

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Hi I love your blog layout it so tidy!! Also would it be alright if I got a bnha matchup please?. My pronouns are she/her and I'm bisexual. My personality type is ISTJ, I'm a sagittarius sun, scorpio moon and libra rising. To the public I'm pretty closed off/reserved but with my friends I'm brave, loyal and love to laugh. I don't trust easily and I'm pretty cautious of everyone so I try to keep out of the way.

My hobbies include gymnastics which I did competitively and won a few medals, I also do figure skating and have leveled up pretty quickly at that. I workout everyday because even though I dont compete now I still want to improve and if anything I'm better now than I was back then.

I like indie music, horror movies mainly psychological, nature and wildlife and the peace and quiet it brings. I hate loud, busy places, untidy, dirty things and people messing up my routine.

My love language is quality time like I just wanna be around that person a lot. I think the love language that speaks to me most is probably also quality time, like the fact that they would want to be around me willingly seems so unfamiliar I love the idea of it. Also words of affirmation or physical touch, I'm awkward at giving those but receiving them would make me melt cause I'm not really used to any of it. My ideal dates are simple things like going on walks at like 3am or dancing in the livingroom or movie nights just cheap simple things like that.

hope that's okay sorry it kindof long :)

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐚

Thank you so much for one of our first requests! We appreciate your love for the layout as well!! Tbh, I spent multiple hours straight getting it just right, so it’s a relief people find it pretty- and also, Scorpio moon gang! anyways, I hope you enjoy your matchup from me! Have a lovely day, hun

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 . . .

𝐞𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 !

runner-up : hanta sero

Easily, Kirishima is one of BNHA’s most easygoing, compassionate characters. His heart is big and always in the right place. Based off of your description and his own array of traits, I think he is the perfect character for you! Like, almost a little too perfect. A Sagittarius and a Libra (Kirishima’s sun sign!) are said to be very compatible and harmonious. Even better, it’s also said that people are often drawn to others who have their sun sign in the ascendant—Kirishima being a Libra sun and you being a Libra rising! To make things even more fantastic, perfect, and everything in between, Kirishima’s MBTI (according to The Personality Database) is ESFP. Guess what? ISTJ’s and ESFP’s are said to be extremely compatible! Of course, he’d find your inner demeanor to be extremely attractive. As he is naturally social, he wouldn’t mind your reserved nature and would pursue you in both friendship & romance regardless. Your outer shell would only lead him to appreciate your comical inner-self even more! He’d greatly admire your bravery and loyalty as well—it’s not something you see often anymore, after all. He’d try to bring the best out of you as naturally as possible, letting you do the same to him. Easily, he’s the most supportive boyfriend you could ever get! This man would adore you with patience, admiration, and sheer love, all with his own cheesy, dorky flair. I imagine Kirishima is careful in love, yet just as bold as the sun. He’s grounded, but on his most passionate days, his admiration can never be paralleled. You’d simply make him weak in the knees with every glance you’d spare him!

𖥸 Your music taste simply infects him. Imagine him listening to indie music with you 🥺🥺 your head in his lap as he plays with your hair- omg!! he loves to just sit and vibe with you. Nothing can compare to the fun you have on your chilliest days- he loves spending time with you in little ways like that

𖥸 Workout dates!! He’s infatuated with you for many reasons, but one of them is because you work out. The dude literally thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world and he adores working out with you. It’s easily his kryptonite lol

𖥸 Kiri has no concept of grace, so he is extremely impressed with your gymnastics and figure skating skills!! He could watch you do your thing for hours tbh. Like, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. In fact, I think he’d try to incorporate more nimbleness to his moves even though such a feat is kinda difficult when you can turn into rock. You gotta give him some credit tho- we all know he can be a little too opportunistic!! Just imagine him tripping all over himself because he wants to be nimble like you- that little blush on his face as he apologies for being a dummy- aww 💕💕

𖥸 Simply the king of casual dates. Sure, he’d love to spoil you with the stars and more, but he knows you like it calm- fr, you two are actually the cutest when it comes to staying up late and just messing around with no care in the world 💕 also, nature dates? Small picnics in the park?? I bet he’d love to go hiking with you. He likes to point out cool flowers or pretty weeds whenever you two are outside for even the shortest amount of time

𖥸 He loves watching horror movies with you.. even though they scare him a little bit LMAO- but just cuddling with you as your favorite movie plays in the background is simply heaven to him. Maybe you can turn him into a psychological horror buff!!

𖥸 He is also the king of words of affirmation~ the dude loves to remind you about how much you mean to him and how confident you make him feel within himself

You two really are couple goals imo 💕💕💕

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡

Gahhh!! I was so excited to ship you with someone!! Thank you so much for requesting!! Also! Don’t worry about long bios in your matchup requests! The longer they are the more mod Ara and I can assess who’s best for you! Its definitely preferable. I hope you enjoy who I match you with. ^w^

𝐦𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 . . .

⠀

𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐨 !

runner-up : hanta sero

In my opinion, I feel that Mina is the perfect match for you!! First lets get some compatible basics out of the way. Like our good friend Kirishima above, Minas MBTI is also an ESFP (according to the personality database lol). As we know, ESFPs tend to be the most compatible with ISTJs. To add onto that, Mina just so happens to be a Leo!! Leos and Sagittarius's are often compared to soulmates and having a twin flame like connection! It’s a little scary how well you two fit each other, personality dynamics and all. Though you may have been cautious and quiet at first meet, Mina most likely pestered and wiggled her way into your life! She loves making new friends anyhow, and saw no issue in going out of her way to talk to you every chance she could. Now becoming your girlfriend later on would just be an added bonus for her! You better believe she finds your bravery admirable, it drives right up her alley. The two of you would make an absolute power couple, even a fan favorite!! Often, she’d make jokes or even play along with ones that you make in return, just to be able to hear your laughter. It fills her stomach with butterflies and she’s near falling apart at the seams with every melodic giggle. Get ready to be showered in compliments and praise, that’s this girls specialty, and she’d happily fluster you any day with her sickeningly sweet words.

𖥸 Mina would probably ask you to spar with her a lot. Practicing new moves and quirk related techniques. God knows she loves staying active, and doing something she deems this fun with someone she loves. It makes the moment even more worth while. With your experience in gymnastics, you’d find that you’re able to run circles around this girl with your skill. Afterwards she’d probably offer a massage to ease any sore muscles.

𖥸 Now as much as Mina would probably prefer a night on the town as a date, she would not think twice about choosing a secluded casual option for your comforts sake. Be that stargazing or even staying in to watch one of those horror films that you love oh so much over popcorn and sodas. (She’s actually terrified of them, and has a weak stomach, but she’d never tell you that.)

𖥸 Aimless car drives. Picture the sun setting, painting the sky in a soft pink and an orange hue flickering off of the distant buildings. Your preferred indie song blaring through the speaker while the two of you belt out the lyrics. Neither of you can hear each other over the sound of the wind rolling in through open windows, or how high she cranked the volume. You’ll definitely have to be the one to turn it back down, she can’t help but love loud music, even if the music wasn’t intended to be loud in the first place lol.

𖥸 Don’t be surprised if she comes to you one day with a gift bag in hand. Every time she goes into a store she has to come out with something that reminds her of you. She’s not even aware of it either until you point it out. This could range from something as simple as your favorite drink to a giant teddy bear that she claimed resembled you. The possibilities are endless.

𖥸 My word is she in love, infatuated even. That one night she caught you dancing about in the kitchen, probably making a late night snack, she couldn’t look away. In fact, she still thinks about it from time to time. How happy and carefree you looked lip-syncing the lyrics, in the silliest kinds of pjs you owned. She tried to sneak her way in, trying her best to not to make you jump in surprise, though she probably failed with how eager she actually zoomed in. Her love for dancing couldn’t go unnoticed here, oh no, not now. She brought you in close with a twirl under her arm, her smile the widest you’ve seen it. Her flirty nature, only for you, had her compliments laced with sugar and honey. Who knows how long the two of you spent dancing and goofing off to your playlist in that darned kitchen.

Gosh the two of you make me squeal!! There’s absolutely no way you aren’t made for each other!

𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫

𝐠𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭-𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 !

#𖥸 werifestaria matchup.#𖥸 matchup one.#𖥸 mod ara.#𖥸 mod peach.#matchup #bnha matchup #bnha kirishima #bnhamina

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tay-westvillage · 5 years ago

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28 SECRET MESSAGE FROM TAYLOR SWIFT

Happy International Women's Day 🌎 💃

Her new Playlist 👇

Why 28? Because who born in 1992?

The Man

"I'd be a fearless leader, I'd be an alpha type"

Number One Fans

"I would give my life just to hold your hand, I'm your number one fan"

Delete Forever

"Guess it's just my rotten luck, To fill my time with permanent blue"

Sometimes

"Feel like my faith keep getting tested, I need a sign, I need a message, 'cause sometimes"

People, I've Been Sad

"It's true, that people, I've been sad, I've been gone, I've been missing out, And missing out for way too long"

Where Do You Go?

"With all this worry in my head, I'll stay up as late as I can, Til you come home, come home"

Door

"Sometimes I don't know who I'm singing to, Who is the you who I sing to, When the house is empty?, You open the door"

She's Play Bass

"Yes, we're both stuck in the same boat, The world doesn't seem to get us though, You're just stuck in space, Just playing your bass"

Sugar Honey Iced Tea

"Don't do this shit to be famous, I do this shit 'cause I love it, I shot an arrow said, "Fuck it", How you want what I have?, You ain't workin' yourself, That toxic energy shit, Ain't really good for your health"

Now, I'm In It

"Locking all the doors to my house, I'm alone in my head, But I wish you were in my bed, Can't get a read on myself, Gotta change this situation, Something in the way that I felt when I woke up, Told me that I shouldn't give in, give up hope, Told me that I shouldn't fight what I felt, Told me I should not let go 'cause, We cannot be friends, Cannot pretend, That it makes sense"

Better Now (sad)

"Never been scared about the future, Don't think I'll make it, if I lose you (Lose you)"

Garden Song

"No, I'm not afraid of hard work, And I did everything I want, I have everything I wanted"

Come Home To Me

"Maybe I did you wrong and made you bleed, Maybe you made mistakes that got me on my knees , And maybe we're a mess, but it works for me, 'Cause I know that every time you leave, you come home to me"

Official (Kaylor first kiss)

"I remember our first date, No chocolate and no bouquet, But the way that you kissed me,These are the things that could make us official"

Rare

"Oh, why don't you recognize I'm so rare, Always there, You don't do the same for me, That's not fair"

Backseat

"At the party, The song takes me back, To last December, Or something like that, And I remember how we felt so old, We fell in love and no one had to know"

She's My Sunshine

"Tell me, what do I know?, Just one thing, one thing, one thing, Let me tell you one thing, She is my sun, She won't forget I'm here, High when my day disappears"

My Own Dance

"So, the internet called and it wants you back, But could you kinda rap and not be so sad?" Fuck it"

Edge of My Seat

"So you keep picking us up, And I've been seeing moments of us, Where we're feeling like we're right on the cusp, Of something better and I know that we're stuck, But I heard that they're looking for us, Yeah, they know about us, tired, It's a puzzle how to please"

Keeping It In The Dark (kissgate rumors)

"I hear rumours, let them fly, It's you and me, And they don't have to know, Oh, they don't have to know, Oh, they speculate, But let's just make them wait, 'Cause they don't need to know, Nobody needs to know, Keep, keep, keeping it in the dark (It's our little secret)"

Georgia

"Is it unnatural? Georgia, is it cool? I wanna tell you that I love you"

Watching My Phone

"And I know I can't be the million girls you're gonna meet, And I think that's alright, I apologize, for holding you so right, you couldn't breathe, And thinking you'd be fine, And I'm alone, Watching my phone, Thinking about you, baby"

More (watching old pictures)

"And would you know it right away, How hard I tried to see your face?, A little screen, a photograph, mine to take, And when you decide it's your time to arrive, I've loved you for all of my life, And nothing could stop me from giving a try, I've loved you, for all of my life want you more, Somehow, I just want you more."

Feel Me

"Every time your lips touch another, I want you to feel me, Every time you dance with somebody, I want you to feel me"

About Love

"My head gets messy when I try to hide, The things I love about you in my mind, I don't really know a lot about love, But you're in my head, you're in my blood, And it feels so good, it hurts so much"

Stay With Me

"I've had nothing but trouble, And bad news on the line for such a long time, The only break I get is laughing 'til my eyes are wet with you"

Closer To You

"The things you do, Only make me want to get closer to you, And the things that you say, Only make me want to stay, Can't push me away, I'm not going, I'll wait, You know this street runs two ways, say So I need to hear your voice, Know I'm standing here by choice, And I can't hear the background noise, anyway"

Womxn

"And there’s a girl inside saying this is the wrong move, Ooh but there’s a woman inside saying this is the truth, I wonder what to say to her, Question where I wanna be, I stop judging her, I tell her who I wanna be"

cc: @taytaysbeard @taylorswift @9w1ft @iwanthermidnightz

#taylor swift #apple music playlist #secret message #woman great art #support female artist #8 March #International Women's Day

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 5 years ago

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BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Summertime on Netflix

This is what I’m gonna do... I’ll be doing more structured reviews later and most likely liveblogging suggested stuff and tagging with “Nesha Watches (Insert Title) for all liveblog posts. For this first review, I won’t be as structured, because I didn’t really plan on reviewing, so this is basically all of my comments to friends @chenoahchantel and @daintyurbanprincess that were made whilst I was watching this show suggested to me by @rbaifzau

It didn’t take me long to be annoyed with the white boy in this show. It doesn’t take much anyways, but one episode in and I’m over him already. This dude saw her at a party, she got pushed into the pool accidentally, he gave her a dry shirt, and two minutes later tried to kiss her… TF..

Girl, this bout to be IGNANT...

Chile... She was like, "What are you doing?" And he looked surprised. Like whet. And in episode 2 after having seen her thrice and spoken to her once, he telling his best friend, "I'm pretty sure I like her a lot." I HATE stuff like this. Why did I tell old girl I'd watch this and discuss it with her? 😭

But she like him, so like??? 😭

And her daddy, who we haven't seen yet is presumably a rolling stone. Only one negro in this town and the nigga gotta be probably running around on his wife? 🙄 I'm like, OH, so the one Black man in the show gotta be a rolling stone? And even though his wife is also highly irresponsible as a parent, she's sort of made out to be the victim of his dreams. They never portray Black mothers doing things on their own as victims. That woman was messing up left and right and it's all on her husband not being there, when that's only part of the problem.

Also, if she IS the only present parent and made the decision to do that, she should be doing it instead of leaning on Summer all of the time.

And she got a close friend that have an obvious crush on her but she seems oblivious. I hate dis

This dude reminds me of Max Theriot. He always looked musty to me. 🤣🤣🤣 He look like him breaf stank. Him and Jack Griffo were working on something where they play soldiers and I absolutely said, "He still look like he stank" when I saw him on Instagram…

This is basically the same mold of dude and it looks moldy and should be tossed out. None for me, thanks.

But, there are moments in this show that's really cracking me up. 🤣🤣🤣 It's like, I feel like I should enjoy it for the messiness of it, but the main characters can be infuriating.

She called him an asshole and he said, "You don't even know me." No duh dipshit. She ain't know you when you tried to kiss her neither. NOR when you was talmbout you like her.

This girl kissing her friend!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She's gonna hurt this boy! My Gwad. He finna be discombobulated. 😭😭😭 He all happy today and she don't even see him like that. Lordt.

He walked up and she look uncomfortable AF. Her younger sister is like, "You're being weird." 🤣🤣🤣 Even SHE hip to something. He on the beach talmbout "It's hot today, don't you think?" And took his shirt off. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I like Summer's friends and feel bad for them because she really didn't treat them kindly. She used Edo whenever she was upset by Ale and then she just completely ditched Sofie on her birthday and didn't even text her or anything. Just had her waiting on her and didn't even apologize. Like, I love that she gets a chance to be human, but being an asshole to the people who you're supposed to be friends with is such an upsetting trope to me.

And the connection between her and Ale is so weird. He comes across as super predatory in the beginning and I don't understand why she liked him in the first place, but also whenever he does something by mistake, she is so angry at him, even though she's been just as inconsiderate when it comes to her friends.

NOW... HE HARASSING HER AT HER JOB.

WOTTICE DIS HUNNY???

Talmbout if she got a boyfriend he'll "take care of him" 😖 After she told him to leave and he said he'd wait for her outside, she asked her coworker, "What do you do to let a guy know you like him back?"

NOW, she went outside and he's there, but her friend showed up to surprise her after work. 🤣 Whoever made this HATES me

He stole a book out her locker and left a card with his phone number. How is this the start of a romance???

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FRIEND IS TALKING ABOUT THE KISS...He said it was perfect........

Chile... And she don't even wanna tell their other best friend. Bruh. He said, "What we have doesn't need to be discussed." Summy PLEASE tell this young man...HE TRIED TO KISS HER AGAIN AND SHE SAID, "We just talked about last night's mistake" 😭😭😭

And she done hurt my friend this way, but she worried about Maxface because his mama can't reach him on the phone??? Girl.. go.. girl...

The gag is that she got mad at Ale because she saw him talking to his ex and she had to cover for him at work, but you've now ACTUALLY put your best friend in a bad space. And he ran into her mom and little sister and looked so uncomfortable but kept it short and sweet. These are people he loves. Idk. I feel bad for him and also like she kind of a hypocrite.

That was what REALLY bothered me. I don't expect her to be perfect, by all means. Black girls should be allowed their imperfections and their mistakes, but the fact that she knows what it's like to have the people you love be so absent and that she would treat her friends this way because of one guy who she's only known for a couple of months was disappointing for her character. She could have been written imperfectly without this glaring problem that I don't believe a real person in her position would actually have.

I think in real life, the girl who raises her sister and basically has to lift her mother up all the time would overextend herself to her friends, but instead, she just leaves them in her dust as soon as she gets some dick. 😭

He is now hanging out with her little sister. 😭😭😭She goes to school with them but she looks tiny. I'm cringing at everything.

BRUH. Like... I can't tell if they're trying to or not, but I wouldn't be surprised because he's cool with the sister too, but they've been friends a while, so I didn't think much of it until Summer hurt him.I thought she liked him earlier, so idk if he is noticing her or I just EXPECT it.

OAN, this man realized his son had a motorcycle accident on purpose and got mad instead of concerned

At one point, they say he's been riding bikes for 20 years, and whenever his father is mad that he had his accident on purpose (which I'll come back to) he says that he's never made a mistake like that, not even was he was 4, so Ale is AT LEAST 24 and she JUST turned 18. Which is WILD to me, even though at 18 I dated someone who was 23 (he was possessive and abusive, so I have a real suspicion of age gaps).

But, aside from that - she gets mad at him any time she sees him with his ex when It is perfectly fine to speak with your ex and whenever she did see them together, it was always innocent and she didn't give him a chance to explain.

But then, when he does something questionable, like whenever he tried to kiss her the first day they met, or whenever he came to her job to ask her out and she told him to leave but he said he was going to wait outside (toxic AF and presumptuous) she is fine with those things.

Now, back to Ale's accident. I really felt so bad for him whenever we discover he did this on purpose, because his father is mad, when they should be concerned. His mother says, "You could have died" and he agrees...

How did they not notice that meant that this young man was so disappointed with his life as a biker that he was literally suicidal? They just grazed past it and whenever he vanished on them, there wasn't a huge call to find him,even though he'd just admitted to purposefully filling a possibly fatal mistake.

I'm prepared for nothing but disappointment. ALL these people outta there. Ale's best friend is in love with his ex. 😭 IT'S SUMMER'S 18TH BIRTHDAY. MYNIGGA She really stood her other best friend up to go get some dick on a little ass boat

The little sister shot her shot! 😭😭😭 He told her she's like his little sister and she burnt off mad denna muffugga

This child drunk, walking down the street in the middle of the night without her glasses...

OMG AS I WAS TYPING THAT SHE GOT HIT BY A DAMN CAR

I was really upset by these things coming to light, and also whenever Blue gets hit by a car, because all of the reviews that I've seen on this site have been that it's a cute love story with likable characters, but nobody mentions the problematic content, the dark portions of the story that can be triggering - like suicide and alcohol incidents and literally seeing a young Black girl be hit and run by a car???

I wasn't prepared for that shit in a "cute love story." I think that this story is less cute and more dark than people have made it out to be, and that's one of my problems with it. It isn't marketed as a dramatic coming of age story. It's marketed as a romantic comedy, when it is more serious than that and has a lot of issues that should be considered.

The lesbian best friend is in love with her too??????????????????? I. Hate. This.

My favorite person in this whole thing is the lesbian in the background, Irene. And also Dario.

I was entertained a lot of the times. Just heavily confused because I couldn't figure out what the tone was supposed to be. 😁

In conclusion - it's maybe a dark comedy, not a cute comedy, IS a coming of age about a young Black girl who is kind of an asshole, but Black girls should be free to be assholes too. White dudes do it all the time and are valued characters. The dude is weird AF for chasing around this 17 year old girl and he's in his 20s. Idk if that's normal in Italy. It's nasty to me. Their beginning is young people foolishness and there's not much that we see their relationship built upon, but that happens, yanno. You young, tired and silly and some pushy dude makes his move whenever he see you. Slap some discount sex in a dinghy on it and you have this show. I don't recommend it, but a lot of folk loved it, so I guess it did what it meant to do.

#BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Nesha Watches Summertime with Regrets #Nesha Watches Summertime #It's just called Summertime. I watched it with regrets but #Here was my takeaway #Summer Bennati #Summertime #summertime netflix #Nesha Watches

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odinsonsobsessed · 6 years ago

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Being With You

Bucky has broken your heart and he wants to make amends. Will you take him back?

Pairing: Bucky/Reader || Word Count: 1.4k || Warning: Mild Angst, Fluff

A/N: This was written for @fandom-and-feminism and @fadingcoast 's MCUvsBSB Writing Challenge! My song was Crawling Back To You by our very own lovely Backstreet Boys, with my character being Bucky. I strongly recommend listening to that song while you read, because it's amazing (as are all of their songs) and enhances the reading experience, but of course it can be read on it's own! With that being said, this fic was inspired by the song and I chose to use it as the theme, rather that write it in.

Likes, Comments, Reblogs, any type of feedback is greatly appreciated!!!

A quiet night in meant that you were curled up in your favorite armchair in the living room of your apartment with a comfortable silence lingering in the air, save for the clock ticking on the wall, mere background noise as you read your book.

It was peaceful, your mind quiet of any and all thoughts, completely focused on the romance novel resting in your lap, knees scrunched and your body turned slightly in the large, comfortable chair. That was, until the knock on your door disrupted your solitude. Damn! Just when the story was beginning to get interesting.

A sigh left your lips as you bookmarked your place and set the book down on the table next to you. You stood, slipping your feet into the house slippers on the floor where you left them not thirty minutes before.

Unlocking the door, you pulled it open, fully expecting your annoyingly concerned friend to be standing there, just like he had last Friday night. “Look Steve, I told you--”

But, it wasn't the overly protective supersoldier you called your best friend, it was Bucky. The man who broke your heart just under a month ago.

A tightness filled your chest as you shared his gaze and your first instinct was to run into his arms and take comfort in him, as you did many times before. But this time was different. He wasn't yours anymore. No, you weren't his anymore.

Bucky had abandoned you after the two of you been so happy, so content in your relationship. That's what you'd thought, anyway. You didn't realize just how wrong you were until you uttered those three simple, yet powerful words that ruined it all. His smile no longer reached his eyes and the mood between you had shifted.

“Bucky…” Your mind swirled with questions about why he was standing there at your door. “What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

“No.” The words declining him of his request had flew out of your mouth before you could stop them. Perhaps a but harsh, but given the situation, you had a hard time caring. Anger was creeping in, the bitterness of the whole ordeal resurfacing.

Bucky let out a breath, “Okay, that's fair.” He swallowed, visibly uncomfortable as he shifted his weight onto his other foot. “Can we talk at least?”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, “Oh, you want to talk now? About what, Bucky? Would you like me to tell you how I really feel again so you can leave?”

His forehead creased and the corners of his lips dropped a little. “Doll…”

Your heart clenched at the familiar term of endearment he so fondly used to call you. Tears pricked your eyes and you held them back. “Don't call me that. Don't pretend like nothing happened between us.”

Bucky reached out to touch you, but deciding against it, he dropped his arm to his side with a sigh, looking down at the floor. “I was an idiot, I know that. But if you'll just let me--”

“Let you what? Let you explain why you abruptly walked out of my life after I told you that I loved you? Would you like to explain to me why you ignored me for weeks after countless attempts to contact you?”

“I was an asshole. I-I'm sorry, I--”

“Save it, Bucky. You don't get to just show up here out of the blue after you left me and expect to just say your sorry and all is forgiven.” The tears were flowing now and his eyes were watering, too. But none of that mattered. Not anymore. You were closing this chapter of your life and moving on. Without Bucky.

“Please, just let me--”

“Goodbye Bucky.” You closed the door and locked it, breathing heavily as you turned and leaned against the door. Your chest felt incredibly tight and you thought you would suffocate as you sank down to the floor as the evidence of your sorrow rolled down your cheeks uncontrollably.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That hadn't been the last you'd heard of Bucky. Over the next week, he tried desperately to win you back. He sent flowers to your work, he sent you multiple texts consisting of I'm Sorry, I was wrong, I miss you.

You wanted to be strong, but if you were being honest with yourself, his attempts were wearing on you. The feelings you were working on burying deep and trying to forgets were resurfacing and it terrified you. You were afraid that if you listened to what he had to say, you'd give in and take him back. If you forgave him, would he just do it again? Could you trust him once more?

You were in the middle of that debate with yourself after you stared at Bucky's last text message, when a loud knock on your door startled you out of your thoughts. More came seconds later and you gasped, zetting your phone down on the table so you could go and answer the door quickly.

“What in the world--Bucky? What's going on?” You opened the door, taking in the supersoldier's appearance. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy; his expression sullen.

“I can't do it anymore.” He shook his head, “I can't be apart from you anymore, darlin’, I can't.” His voice cracked and your eyes watered. “You're all I think about. Every day and all night. God, I was stupid to walk away from you!”

You opened your mouth to speak, but he beat you to it, “When you told me that you loved me… I got scared. My thoughts overwhelmed me and I had so many conflicted feelings.” He sighed, closing his eyes. “So I took off, somewhere far away from here. I didn't tell anyone where I was going, I just… went.” His voice was full of hurt and shame and he opened his eyes to look at you again. “Dumbest thing I ever did. By the time I cleared my head, I realized I fucked up. I missed you so damn much, I couldn't breathe.” He stepped closer and took your hands in his, causing your heart to hammer in your chest. “That's when I realized that I loved you, too.”

“Bucky…” Your voice wavered, tears spilling down your cheeks.

He pulled you towards him, crushing you against him. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please take me back. I-I dunno what else to do. Don't wanna be apart from you anymore.” He took a deep breath. “I'll beg you, if you want. I'll get down on my knees and beg.”

You wrapped your arms around him, clutching onto his jacket and crying into the crook of his neck. God, you'd missed him. “Shut up.” You mumbled. “Missed you, too.”

Bucky pulled back to look at you. He cupped your face between his hands and gazed at you with an affectionate smile, wiping the tears on your cheeks. “I love you.” When he pressed his lips to yours, you hadn't realized just how much you missed the feel of him until that moment. You sighed against his lips and held tighter in the embrace, not wanting to let him go.

Bucky guided you backwards, feeling for the door and closing it behind him. You pressed your palms flat against his chest and pushed him gently against the door before wrapping your arms around his neck. As he deepened the kiss, his hands slid around to your lower back, pulling you against him.

Heat coiled low in your belly at the sudden nip at your bottom lip and he pulled back with a grin and nudged your nose with his. “Marry me.” You were about to kiss him again, but you paused.

“What?”

“After being apart from you for just a measly couple of weeks, it drove me crazy. Thought about you every second, dollface. I realized that being with you was the best thing that ever happened to me. Be my wife and I won't let you go ever again. This is my promise to you.”

Your heart swelled and you found yourself nodding. “I'm yours, Bucky.” He kissed you again and you mumbled against his lips, “Always been yours.”

His chest vibrated with joyous laughter and he reached down mid kiss, grabbing the backs of your thighs and hoisting you up into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist, giggling as he carried you off to the bedroom.

@fandom-and-feminism @fadingcoast @igotloki @mrshiddleston-uk @nikkalia @manager-of-mischief @spidey-bites @dangertoozmanykids101 @xxloki81xx @devilbat @furstinnajoelle @exbandragirl @joyofbebbanburg @sabine-leo @officiallyunofficialperson @littlefrogstuff @wolfsmom1 @drakesfiance @awkwardfangirl2014

#MCUvsBSB #writing challenge #bucky/reader #bucky x reader #mild angst #fluff

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irepookie · 6 years ago

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Infinity

Summary: QUEEN AU where Roger (akaRow) is a teen single dad and aspiring rock star

Warnings: fluff fluff fluff and some cursing.

Words: 2090

I changed the names Cause I feel more comfortable writing it that way (idk why) but I could re-change them if that'd help you getting more into the story.

Rowan Queen: (tho you can imagine Ben as well. This is my take)

Chapter 1: I'm here

Written from his mother's POV, which gives us some insight on the family background and history as the first day of the rest of their lives unravels.

Gina Marie Queen (neé Thomas) had always been ahead of her time. She was never a fearful woman. Not for men anyway. She hadn't had a father -that alcoholic piece of shit was nothing close to that.-

And for all she knew, she hadn't had a husband either -another waste of space-. She had finally kicked him out hers and her son's life after 10 years of hell when that drunk asshole's rehearsal fits had made her lose the daughter she had been longing for since she could remember.

He could throw plates at her, and she'd fight back burning his beloved match tapes. Or intoxicate his food. Those were her favorite paybacks.

He could verbally abuse their son, and wake up with pink hair the next day. (Rowan's idea when he was 10)

But the night he had pushed her and she had broken waters at month number 5, that was it.

It should have ended earlier, she knew. Her unborn daughter shouldn't have had to suffer the consequences for Gina to finally throw his shit out the window and soak them in the Jack Daniels bottle he hid under his side of the bed and light them with the lighter he'd switch his bloody cigars.

But unfortunately that's what it had taken.

And she would have strangled him in his sleep if she had known Rowan would be taken care of while in jail. But she wasn't. And someone had to think of the rebellious trouble maker too.

And when her son -yes, she decided that rebellious trouble maker was, more or less, worthy of the title despite being the spitting image of the his father- became a father, Gina feared her granddaughter would have the same fate. Row had it in his genes and , as much she had tried to raise him as best as she was capable of, that fear never faded.

So when the phone rang

"Rowan Queen?"

""I'm his mother"

"I'm from the Hospital's maternity aisle. We call to inform you that his daughter's mom has disappeared after giving birth..."

That was all she needed to hear before dropping the phone and leaving it hanging upside down

"ROWAN EUGENE QUEEN! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"I've got rehearsals with the band..."

"YOU GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT, YOU IDIOT??!"

"Me? No!"

"WELL THINK AGAIN!"

"Mum..."

"Just got a call from hospital saying your daughter's mother has disappeared after birth!!! And they called us!"

He was high school's infamous Playboy. Blonde, Blue Big eyes, and a charming smile. And on top of that, one of the four members of a wannabe rock band. The Hot Drummer, they call him .Gina knew. She didn't need to hear about his reputation to know the likelihood of him getting someone pregnant was high. But she had pictured it differently.

She grabbed him by the wrist and pulled, but he didn't move. He kept staring at nowhere.

"Rowan!!!"

No reaction.

She had to slap his cheek in order to get him out his shock

"What do you want?!"

"We're going to hospital, right now"

"What? Why?"

"To work this shit out!!"

"But we have to rehearse"

"Fuck that shit Rowan! They've just told us you got someone pregnant and she run off! That's the most important thing right now so get in that this instance!!"

He did as told. It was a tense car ride. And Gina remembered Elsa. Her baby girl. And how for her father's fault she wasn't there.

"So what now?" Row asked

"We're putting her up for adoption, unless they can contact the mother, although I don't think she should have a say. But if you're the so called father and your name is in the file, we can leave your part signed and then go home."

"Oh"

Gina thought she caught a hint of disappointment in his voice.

It had to be her imagination. Disappointment over what? Missing the wonderful experience of being a teen dad? Ha.

He did look thoughtful. He hadn't even turned on the radio.

Something was off.

But she figured he'd just want to get this whole thing over with, and that he'd sign her over to a better family. As anyone with minimum common sense would

Right?

Then, as they waited for the application, he asked if he could see her.

Her answer was immediate "No"

"Why?"

"How come Why? Why on Earth would you want to see her?"

"Well I'm here. You've been freaking out , and freaking me out as well. Might as well see who this fuss is about"

"A baby. That's it. You don't need to see one. They all look the same. Small, Wrinkly, like a large prune. There you have it"

"Well I wanna see my... That small wrinkled prune"

Damn. He had said <<mine>>. He already considered her his.

Gina changed her strategy.

"Your name is on the certificate, right. But that means nothing"

"Why would it be there otherwise?""

"A mistake. Or maybe the mother just wants to tangle you up."

"The mother's gone"

"Yes. For now. It's called Baby Blues, and when it's gone She'll have you exactly where she wants to. Because I'm guessing she won't be no straight A student either, and you'll have to sustain them both -if you ever make it to college- and you'll end up getting married, and maybe you don't even love her, but divorce is even more tedious than getting married. That's why I've Never done it. So you'll both be stuck as cashiers in whatever low cost store, and then she'll confess that you were her high school crush but that the kid is actually her ex boyfriend's and then you'll throw a fit, and you'll get in a fight and you'll end up grabbing whatever is on your reach to hit whoever's on your reach...."

"Wait mom. I just... I just wanna see her." Row cut her off " Whoever the fuck she may actually be, I'm the one who's here. And I ain't signing anything without knowing who I'm making decisions for. That's all. I just want to see. I don't even want to touch her or whatever. Just knowing who's the reason I had to turn the boys down today. Then I'll sign the paper and we'll go home."

"She's in the NICU anyway. Doubt they'll let you in"

"What's NICU?" Gina caught genuine concern in his voice.

"Nothing bad." She reassured.

They handed the files, and she took them "I'll fill them"

She got through the first page, and he was gone.

Shit. That stubborn bastard.

She didn't want him to be a father. He was 19 for fucks shake. Had never had one of his own. He had only moved out a couple months ago. Nothing lasted much for him. Wether it was a girlfriend, a job, clothes... His longest pet had reached one year alive. And he couldn't go long without getting injured

Not even his drum kit had survived the move, and was litterally patched up. She'd consider herself guilty of murder if she allowed a baby to be on that list. Not to mention the alternative was that she'd be the one, sooner or later, to take over. Because he was never patient and would stress too much -if he didn't lose interest first- or get fed up and cause her shaken Baby syndrome. And just as she was too young to be a grandmother, she was too old to raise a second kid.

So she stormed inside the NICU aisle ready to get him out of there. And what she saw was quite breathtaking. The look in his eyes was priceless: such fondness and marvel... Only comparable to when he had first seen that red Ludwig drum set through the glass of the local music store.

"I've never seen something so awesome in my life!" He had said.

They had never been able to afford it. He had tried to get a job after school, to save up everything. But it hadn't been enough. And he'd go everyday to that street, and just stare at the shiny wonderful kit for hours, hands on the glass, knowing that the likelihood of ever owning it was almost non existent.

He ended up making acquaintance with the owner. They tried to bargain for it, but his lowest price was way too high for them. He did get to play it once tho, and it was an undescribable experience. Murray, the owner, let him give it a try out of pity when someone else bought it, as a farewell. And had never seen anything like it again.

Now this baby was, technically, his -regardless of what biology could say- and he was about to give it away.

Gina did know on first hand it was, having been a volunteer on midwife assistance with her aunt. And 10/10 woman who swore to never want anything to do with their child changed their minds as soon as they laid eyes on them. Only those who really followed through -take it away, I don't wanna see it- walked out there with empty arms.

Now Row was looking at that baby ad if she was a treasure, but that meant nothing in the long term. His father had done something similar to Elsa's sonogram.

Her poor little girl. So young.

So helpless. She had been so naive thinking he would ever change.

But she wasn't gonna make that mistake again. She loved her son, but he really wasn't good at anger management.

She couldn't expose another innocent child to such danger.

"Rowan, come here now. You've seen her. Got what you wanted. Met her. Now let's get this over with"

His hand was resting on the top of the incubators glass, even if he had unglued his eyes from the tiny being inside and nailed on her now, as if he had been staring at the sun for a long while and was now blinded.

"Why the hurry?"

Was she hearing correctly?

"How come Why the hurry? Because we both have things to do"

"I've already cancelled the one plan I had..."

"Well I still have an errand to get done."

He didn't reply, eyes back on the child

"Rowan" she approached him, making sure not to look at the kid. "Rowan Eugene Queen, look at me when I'm talking to you" she ordered in a strict tone

"What?"

"Papers. Signature. Now"

"I'm thinking about it"

"Thinking about...?! Thinking about what? What's there to think? Sign these and we'll go home, and we'll never have to look back at this! Nobody has to know."

"And what about the raisin?"

"The what?"

"Her. What about her?"

"She'll be fine. Adopting couples love newborns. She'll go to a fit, nice marriage and will be very happy. And we'll resume our lives"

"And I'll never see her again?"

"Why do you care?"

He just shrugged and turned his attention back to her. Gina watched him watch her. Goddamn. She was losing him.

"Are you the father?" A nurse asked, walking towards.

*Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it*

Gina prayed.

"I suppose I am" He said it so naturally, with such a bright genuine smile that Gina almost forgot how critical those words were.

"Well, I'm Callie, and I'm on charge tonight. Congratulations, Mr... Oh, Queen." Her eyes widened When reading the tag on the incubator. "We're glad at least someone's here"

"Yea, well..." He scratched the back of his head nervously

"Don't worry. Her mom will get over it." She turned to Gina "You must be Gran..."

"No I'm not" Gina snapped harshly before she could finish the sentence "We were leaving"

"We were not"

"Rowan, I will not repeat it. Sign those bloody papers and get your ass back in the car"

"What if I don't want to?"

"This is serious! There's no other way!"

"Yes there is!"

"You can't be serious!" What 19 year old would ever choose this?

"Well I am"

"You don't even know what serious means! You have no sense of responsibility! You've never finished anything you've ever started!"

"Maybe I want to change! Maybe I can grow up if you stop pestering the shit outta me day In day out! This is not your decision!"

"I'm not letting you do this Row!"

"Then go! Leave me the fuck alone and stop getting in my way!"

Before Gina could answer, a small cry came from the incubator.

And she found herself walking backwards.

It was right she couldn't stop him but she wasn't gonna take part on it.

So she turned around and left, as the nurse explained Row how to hold his newborn daughter.

"You're not gonna break her, I promise. You'll do fine. Because you're here. Just because you're here I know you're gonna be a great dad. You already are" Callie said, putting his trembling arms on the correct position before lifting the small white bundle out the incubator.

They usually didn't do it unless it was necessary for a feed or a change, but she thought this was even more important: they had to meet each other properly: The little one needed to hold on to someone after being abandoned. And there was something in the young boy's eyes that told her he needed just the same.

So with a reassuring smile Callie placed her on Rowan's arms, who brought her closer to his chest by instinct, a small smile already on his lips as he took in her features.

She was gorgeous. And he didn't know why, but he found her to be the most perfect thing he had ever seen. He instantly knew he was gonna protect that wrinkled prune at all costs.

"Hey there, lil'raisin. I'm..." He swallowed the lump in his throat "I'm your Dad and... I'm here now."

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Hope you guys liked it

It's my first fic on Tumblr so I still don't have the formatting completely handled and my phone won't let me select all the paragraphs at once to put it all in regular font.

Let me know what you think. Thank you all!!😍😍😍😍

~Pookie

#bohemian rhapsody #queen band #roger taylor #roger taylor baby #roger taylor daughter #single dad! roger taylor #ben hardy! roger taylor #fluff #queen fic #queen family #queen #queen fanfiction #queen fandom #queen fluff #fathers and daughters #Rowan Queen #Infinity fic #music #infinity fic

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patchdotexe · 6 years ago

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So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

#leo chirps #leos reply #system shit #i dont think i covered EVERYTHING #and im not sure how coherent this is #but i tried! :D #Anonymous #ask #pat.txt

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