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kurikive · 11 months ago

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CASUAL | danielle marsh.

— "is it casual now?"

6thmember!reader, situationship/fwb but nothing sexual, angst, fluff at the end i promise, dani swears, reader is a (closeted) lesbian, reader is horrible at reading people, written in 2nd person, they work it out on the remix

warnings : A LOT of internalized homophobia !! reader refers to herself multiple times as a predator but it's just from fear and insecurity, nothing actually predatory is happening in the story. extremely brief mentions of starvation

wc: 5.4k words

inspired by: Casual — Chappell Roan

you and danielle marsh are friends. more than co-workers, you're friends. although you don't have that much in common except for your age, it was easy to adapt to the harsh environment of the k-pop industry's training system with someone like danielle by your side.

she's always been a ray of sunshine in everyone's lives, you're not the exception. if you were in a bad mood, tired from waking up in the early morning everyday, worked to the point of exhaustion, danielle would be there rubbing your shoulders and saying something sweet like

"you're doing great, y/n! keep up!"

and then you'd smile at her, and she'd smile back, and you'd feel so much better, thanks to danielle.

you didn't have many interests in common. music taste, fashion sense, movie picks, food preferences, personality types, if anything you were almost her complete opposite. and yet, she sat in your bed every night while you scrolled on your phone, talking for hours until it the clock hits midnight and she goes back to her room.

danielle did most of the talking, and you carefully listened to everything she said. the enthusiasm in which she enunciated all her words was endearing to listen to, and it couldn't not bring a smile out of you. the girl never forgot to give you your chance to speak too, trying to get to know you better everyday.

there was one thing she could not know, however. that you're a lesbian.

if it was hard enough being gay in korea, it was ten times harder when you were about to debut in a girl group, in one of the biggest companies in the industry at the moment nonetheless.

there were times where the members would all gather and have girl talks, talking about things like movies, celebrity crushes, past boyfriends and all that stuff, and you felt left out every single time.

sometimes it's more a curse than a blessing that danielle notices everything, because when she asks, "who's your celebrity crush, y/n?", "what do you look for in a boy, y/n?", "have you ever had a boyfriend, y/n?", you never know how you're supposed to respond.

it wasn't safe. it'll never be safe.

you've known the girls for almost a year and there has never been an indication of the way they felt about the LGBTQ+ community. hanni was your safest bet, she seemed the most open minded, but then again you can never be sure.

they were all so painfully straight.

so you try your best to answer vaguely,

"i don't know.", "i'm not sure, i don't really think about that." they complain a little about your mysteriousness, but it doesn't take long for them to let it go and move on.

you don't know how long you have to keep pretending you're not sure. you are sure.

you like girls.

you don't want to keep pretending you don't. but how would they feel?.

they'd feel unsafe, uncomfortable, scared, exposed to a threat, a possibility of being prey to a predator, a little voice in your head tells you.

but you're not. you're not a predator. they know you're not a predator. you'd never do anything to hurt them, or make them uncomfortable.

so you keep pretending. but the shell is starting to crack, and a knot in your throat gets tighter everytime you hear your members ask "is he your type?".

your debut is only a couple months away. you pray to god hanni has noticed by now. she's your roommate after all.

you start playing some specific songs without your headphones in hopes she walks by or enters the room and notices. you hope she's the one that asks. but she doesn't, she never mentions the songs, ever.

so you move on to movies and shows.

when she catches you watching heartbreak high in the living room TV, she only says "oh they're aussies, right?"

when she sees you watching heartstopper on your phone while eating dinner she just says, "kit connor is soooo handsome."

she doesn't mention it when she goes into your room and you're playing but i'm a cheerleader on your laptop. but hanni has caught on.

and the next time she goes into your shared room, she closes the door behind her. you're in your bed, and you're staring at each other, both of your eyes shine with nervousness.

"can i ask you something?" she says from the door, so shakily you start fearing she's not going to take it like you wish she would.

"sure." you didn't mean for your voice to come out as quiet as it did.

it's a nerve-wracking couple of seconds watching hanni take a seat in her own bed and face you. she takes a big breath before asking, "do you- no, sorry. are you... gay?"

yes, yes, yes. i am a lesbian. i like girls. you want to scream, but the realization of reality strangles you and your throat feels so tight, and you can't say anything.

"it's not like there's anything wrong about it, i'm just... asking." she tries. you can tell she's trying. it's sweet that she's trying.

"yes." it's a struggle to get it out, and your heart starts racing, but just being able to feels like such a relief that you might start crying. but then fear washes down on you again when you can't read hanni, at all.

"i'm really sorry, hanni. i promise i'm not weird or predatory or anything, i would never try to make you uncomfortable and i'm sorry if i ever did. i promise i don't like you like that, not that you're not attractive or anything, that's not what i mean at all. i just- i would never like you like that, you're like my sister and i promise that i'm still the same y/n you met, i really hope this doesn't change anything in our-" she cuts off your rambled apology-slash-explanation with a hug.

"it doesn't. i promise." it hits you now, just now, that hanni knows. she knows.

"please don't tell the others." you're choked up, and that's the only thing you could say before the tears in your eyes caught up. i don't know how they'll take it, you want to say, but the only thing that comes out is a broken sob.

"i won't. it's okay, y/n."

you've grown closer to hanni than you'd ever thought you would. you spend your nights in your room talking and laughing and watching funny videos you send each other.

it's been a few months since you've debuted and you couldn't be happier. you had someone to rely on, someone who knows all your secrets and can trust her with them, and vice versa.

your career has skyrocketed and your popularity is through the roof, and although there are always negative consequences that come with that fame, it's been mostly great on your end.

danielle doesn't really hang out in your room to talk anymore. if you're honest, you kind of miss it, but she surely has her reasons, and you don't think too much about it.

you're currently in one of the vocal practice rooms at HYBE, setting up your phone to do a phoning live. you'd just finish your vocal practice and you had asked for permission beforehand.

after a few minutes of talking with your fans, recommending movies and talking about food, you hear a knock on your door. quite strange.

"yeah? who is it?" you yell loud enough to no cause any ruckus. the door slightly opens and a face peeks inside, "it's me!" danielle's signature smile shining brightly at you, "i saw you were live and wanted to come hang out."

you didn't even need to tell her anything before she was coming right inside the room to grab a chair and sit beside you. "well, come hang out then!" you face your screen to see danielle struggling to bring the chair closer to you, and you chuckle a bit. "dani's here, guys!"

danielle has always been very touchy; with everyone, that is. today was not the exception, resting her head on your shoulder, holding your hand and locking your fingers together, nuzzling her face in your neck, it's all things you're already used to.

it's never been more than just friendly showcases of affection, to you, at least. and you've also never been irritated by it, but there's some guilt you try to suppress.

you don't want to push her away, you're not uncomfortable with her actions, what is uncomfortable is her potentially finding out your sexuality and thinking you let her shower you with affection for your own amusement. you fear it. but you don't want to think about that right now.

you think about it again, however, when you go back home and open social media only to see videos and threads with thousands of likes and views compiling every sweet moment of affection that happened just mere hours ago.

there's a pang in your chest when you see the tens of delusional comments talking of how much they'd like to see you and your friend as a couple. it feels like you're being strangled, and you suddenly feel unwell, so you close the app and turn off your phone.

"i should watch a movie."

you fully believe your debut was your prime. everyday gets harder, scandal after scandal, comeback after comeback, day after day. you work really hard, your members know, your fans know. but it never looks like it's going to get easier.

you win awards, win some more, get another important deal, shoot another session, write another song, the cycle repeats although not in the same order. like a fucked up loop. you're so fucking tired.

you wonder how hyein is holding up. you care a lot for her, like your little sister. she seems okay, eating a bowl of yogurt and fruits in the living room with haerin and hanni. are you the only one having a hard time?

you need to relieve your stress, and there's really no other option other than going to the gym to work out. so you go back to your room to lazily change into your practice clothes and grab your backpack, "i'm going to the gym." you try your best to sound at least a little enthusiastic as you walk behind the living room couch.

"when are you coming back?" you hear danielle ask from the kitchen, a twinge of concern in her voice. "it might start raining soon."

"i won't take long. if i see it starts to get cloudy i'll get going." you try to put her worries at ease. your gym doesn't have windows, though.

you shouldn't have gone. you're not even supposed to go anyway. it's raining hard, and it might start storming soon. but your manager can't know you're here. one of the many downsides of being in a group with four minors and two barely-adults, you can't call any of them to pick you up. so fuck it, you're taking the public transportation.

kind of extremely risky considering you are literally in newjeans, but okay. what else is there to do? what you failed to consider is the only bus stop being about five blocks away. and the bus doesn't drop you off even remotely close to the dorms. so you're gonna be running in the rain and, fuck it again, you do just that.

the first five blocks to the bus stop weren't that bad, you didn't get soaked like you imagined, blocking most raindrops with your backpack over your head. you really should've just brought an umbrella, though.

good thing you brought a mask, at least. nobody seemed to recognize you on the bus. you take a seat as close as possible to the exit and take out your phone to hurriedly text the group chat.

i got a bit caught up, im omw

domt worry 2 much

ill b there soon :))

minji responds with a thumbs up, hanni leaves an "idiot" that gets a like reaction by haerin. you see danielle write and then stop writing about 3 times, but she ends up not sending anything at all, so you just turn off your phone and look outside for your stop.

it only takes a couple minutes of waiting to see the silhouette of your dorm building. you get off your seat and wait for the bus to halt at the next stop to get off. it's raining a bit harder, but there's nothing you can do except wing it.

and when you get off, you immediately put your backpack on top of your head and start running as fast as you could towards your dorm. you get some looks, but no one can possibly be able to recognize you, not at the speed you're going.

after a few minutes, your legs start getting tired not only from running, but all the exercise you did hours earlier. another thing you failed to consider in this mediocre, careless plan.

but you're almost there. and you're almost not soaked.

by the time you reach your building the only thing about you that isn't wet is your scalp. you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, it's probably one of your members, but you're almost there, you can't pick up.

you enter the gates of the apartment, and you're probably going to make a mess on the floor on the elevator, but your legs can't take it anymore, and you thank any god that hears your prayers when the elevator doors open and it's empty. you can't take more embarrassment right now.

the doors open once again and you try not to make much noise as you run towards your dorm. someone inside must've heard you fumbling with your keys because as soon as you find the right one the door is already open, a concerned danielle with a just as worried minji behind her. you smile at the sight of them. "hello!"

"get your ass inside!" you hear hanni shout from the couch.

you're drying your hair in your room after taking a shower and explaining the situation to your group members. just as you're about to turn on your phone to see what time it is you hear a knock on your door, "can i come in?" it's danielle.

"yup. come on in!" you answer a lot more energized than a couple hours before. danielle's not wearing her usual bright smile, but rather a more worried expression. "y/n, can we talk?"

you're confused. you've never heard or seen her like this before. she's obviously been worried before, she cares about you just as much as the others, but this time it's different. "yeah, what's up?" you try your best to respond calmly and tap a stop in the bed beside yourself, which danielle gladly takes.

"are you okay?" she asks as she settles down at your side. what?

"what do you mean?" you don't notice it but you start fidgeting with your own fingers. danielle notices.

"it's just," she tries looking somewhere else, but she can't help the need of looking into your eyes all the time, looking for some sort of sign, some crack, "i can tell you're stressed. you're tired and... if you need to talk i just want you to know that i'm here." her eyes are dripping honey and her hand is so warm when she grabs yours.

you show her a sluggish smile, "thanks, dani. i appreciate that." when you look back, her face is already finding it's way to the crook of your neck. "i'm just a little tired of everything. it really feels like i'm doing the same things all over again. i know we've achieved a lot as a group but i feel like i have nothing going on for myself." you sigh, danielle says nothing, urging you to continue.

"all the songs i pitch get turned down, my other drafts feel too personal to release as a group song. every song i write with the group in mind feels, i don't know, empty?"

your eyes unfocus as a wave of emptiness washes over you and the only thing you feel is a water droplet from your bangs fall and travel down your temples. and also the warmth shared by danielle's hand in yours.

"i just feel like nothing's going on in my life." you feel danielle's head leave your shoulder and you turn to look at each other at the same time, "i think i know how you feel." she says with the sweetest eyes ever.

"thanks for listening, dani." you smile at her, but it feels so strange when she doesn't smile back. she just stares, right through you. her eyes are so pretty; you've always known but this is the first time you've looked at them directly for so long (there's really nothing else for you to look at when she's so close to your face).

oh, yeah. in a sudden moment you were inches apart. you don't remember moving so it must've been danielle.

you don't really understand what's going on. maybe this is an eye contact battle and you're not supposed to blink. and you think for a moment you had it easy because suddenly danielle's pretty eyes are nowhere to be found and you're staring at her eyelids and long eyelashes instead.

before your brain even thinks of giving you the chance to mutter "i win!" in a silly manner, you feel your own lips getting shut. covered, enveloped by another set of softness.

oh. this is not what you expected at all.

what are you even supposed to do right now? well, pull away, obviously. but that could could give danielle the impression that you hate everything about this and, really, that's not true at all. it's good. well, not good, but- danielle is not horrible at kissing.

what even is happening, anyway? i mean, you're kissing. but what else? nothing feels like it's moving; it feels like time's stopped. there also hasn't been anything that has lead up to this happening.

so you're just left there, paralyzed, in shock, waiting until danielle pulls away. just waiting until she's done with you. until she's satisfied.

and it's until danielle notices that you're not moving that she realizes what she's done. she pulls away, shaken and distraught.

"y/n, i am so sorry. i don't know what came over me, i am so so so sorry. i really didn't mean to do that. please forgive me, y/n, i am really so sorry." at this point, danielle's voice starts to break. "i don't know why i did that, it's just, i don't know, you just looked good a-and we were just close and-"

"it's okay, dani. i know."

"no, y/n, i really am sorry. i-"

"dani, i swear it's fine." you grab her shoulder to reassure her, but is anything really fine right now? "i..." you don't really know what to say next. "i don't, like, hate you or anything. i understand things like that happen. i'm not mad at you."

"really?" you've never seen her tear up so fast. you definitely didn't expect her to tear up at this. but you know the feeling of guilt so well you can't help but feel sympathy for her. "are you sure? i promise it won't happen again."

"i'm sure, dani. you could never do anything to make me hate you."

you smile at her, she sniffles. it's the last thing you hear before you hear the sound of her wristwatch's seconds ticking. you don't really know what's going through her head. you count about 34 ticks.

"did you hate it?" her voice isn't weak, but it is lower than you normally expect it to be.

you're stunned, but the way she looks at you so earnestly, with a hint of nervousness in her eyes forces you to answer within seconds, "n-no! dani, i didn't... hate it. it was just unexpected. i didn't really process it at first." it's the truth, but it feels so gut-wrenching to say.

another 20 ticks of quiet.

"can i do it again?"

hello? hello? what is going on? hello?

"i-i mean, if you want to." it sounds more like a question than a proper answer. and danielle takes it anyway.

you don't have any romantic feelings for danielle, that's for sure. she's said she doesn't have any feelings for you either. that's established. and yet when hanni is too caught up watching movies in the living room with minji and hyein, danielle is always there, sitting in your bed.

sometime's it's just little pecks while you cuddle and watch something she doesn't care much about. sometime's she's on the verge of kissing the living shit out of you.

it's never more than that. none of you let it be more than that. it's more than okay.

it's comfortable. it's casual.

and yet, every time it happens, you feel guilt eat at your stomach.

because danielle doesn't know. and she can't know.

it's not like this was your idea in the first place, it was danielle's. but the fact that you let her do it anyway could be predatory enough for her to feel unsafe if she ever did find out. even if she's the one who caused this all.

and never once do you think about yourself while it happens. it's not a moment for you, it's a moment for danielle to take. and you're okay with that. as long as she's okay with it.

you're okay with many things just because danielle is okay with them.

if danielle wants to watch a romcom, you watch a romcom. if danielle wants to eat plain yogurt, you eat plain yogurt. if danielle wants to kiss you, you let her kiss you.

it's not that big of a deal if there are no feelings involved. it's just a matter of believing that that's actually true.

you let her do whatever she wants because you're scared to do the taking. because taking feels like stealing, and doing feels like attacking. and you're so scared to hurt danielle that you forget you can also hurt yourself.

but if it's so casual, why doesn't she let go of your hand? why does she call you pretty everyday? why does she look at you with those pretty eyes like you're her whole world?

was the "i love you" she said yesterday something she meant as platonic love? is there such a thing as casual love?

was it just the sound of the raindrops on your window that made you hallucinate the sound of a love confession?

you don't eat anything for the rest of the day.

minji and hyein are visiting their parents. hanni and haerin are out of the country. and you're in the dorm kitchen trying to figure out how blurred the lines are while you mix the milk into your tea.

you feel your heart drop when you hear the sound of footsteps of the line-blurrer herself over the sounds of light rain. it hasn't stopped since the day before.

you don't want to feel anything right now, you don't want to hear anything right now.

she wraps her arms around your waist and says, "good morning." with that big bright smile on her face. at one point it started hurting when she did, but you don't remember when.

she smells like the candles you burnt in your room two days after hanni left. you were trying to get rid of danielle's scent from your room, but you couldn't tell her that, so you just said you were trying something new.

danielle notices you say nothing back, and your eyes are nowhere in particular. "watchu thinkin' about?" her always cheery tone gets you out of your trance, and she notices when you stop stirring the spoon in your cup. you're still silent for a bit, but she lets you take your time.

"i don't think we should do this anymore, danielle."

you tense up when her arms leave your waist, but it feels oddly freeing. you don't turn back to face her.

"what do you mean?"

"are we still casual?"

there's disbelief in danielle's voice when she speaks, "what are you talking about? of course we are!" but she sounds dishonest, in a way.

"really?" that's when you turn around, her eyes are wide and her cheeks are quite flushed but nothing about her seems guilty at all, "because saying "i love you" doesn't seem quite casual to me."

she scoffs, "y/n, i tell all my friends i love them. it's a normal thing!"

"i'd agree with you if we weren't kissing on the low. it's a little too much on top of that."

"i don't know what you think casual means but-"

"what i mean is we should stop before the lines start to blur, that's if they haven't already." you don't want to yell at her. you hope she understands before you have to raise your voice. "we are public figures, famous figures. if this goes wrong we can't go back and that could potentially ruin everything, not only for us but for our group."

"well, it can't go wrong if there's no feelings involved, can it?" danielle is usually playfully sassy, but she's never responded to you like this before.

"we're human, danielle. feelings can't be stopped." you're not too good at reading people, but you can see something has clicked in danielle's brain.

"what i'm getting is that you developed feelings for me while we were casual, is that right?" she seems so sure and confident that it annoys you. it frustrates you. and you want to cry.

"no, that's not what i said. but i am scared of it happening, and i want this to stop before it has the chance to."

"well, you should've thought of that before you said yes." you never really did.

"why are you upset, anyways?"

"b-because!" her voice gets louder, "i just wanted this to be casual, and now your telling me you're scared of catching feelings, it's just weird. that's all."

you sigh, "listen, i don't want this to end on a bad note. i just-"

"well, i don't want this to end at all!"

it takes you a minute to believe what you're hearing.

"a-are you hearing yourself?" it's shocking, it really is, "this is crazy, why are you being so selfish right now?"

"because it feels good! okay?!" danielle has completely let go of the loose strings of morality she was holding on to, "it fucking feels good, a-and you make me feel good. i like it when we kiss, and i like it when we cuddle and, and, i just like it, okay?!" that's the first time you've heard danielle curse in your entire life.

"okay, well, i'm glad you did. but i don't. i don't feel good at all." it's so scary and risky because you're two seconds away from telling her the truth, and this could potentially damage both your careers irreversibly, but you can't think of any lie or excuse that is true enough to keep hiding it.

"i drown in guilt every time we kiss and i feel like i'm choking when you look at me these days."

you've never seen her look so confused, like she really doesn't understand you. because she never had to.

"why?"

"i am a lesbian, danielle." you can't shatter, not now. "and it kills me because you'll never understand how hard it is to hide like this for so long. and yes, we hide this casual thing from our members, but after this is over you don't have to hide anything at all and i still have to hide everything."

she says nothing. her eyes soften, but you can't read them. not like you ever could.

"i didn't catch feelings for you, but i could, and you're not helping out. and you don't have to worry about that. you don't have to worry about your members being disgusted at you for something you can't change. you don't have to pretend. you don't have to be scared that you're making someone uncomfortable by simply existing beside them. i had to pretend i didn't care when you kissed me, i had to pretend to be okay when you kissed me again. i've been pretending to be okay with so much i don't know what being okay is anymore."

danielle still says nothing.

"but that's all gone to shit now, hasn't it?" your voice can't break now, but it does anyway, even when your not done speaking. "i can't be okay with everything. i can't be casual about everything, danielle. not anymore." there's a hot tear running down your cheek, but you try to hold yourself together.

"i never want to hurt you, ever, danielle. but i am seriously hurting myself. i am eating myself from inside out. there's nothing casual about that."

"i think i might be in love with you." is the first thing she says in minutes. and that's when you shatter completely. you turn around to leave your mug of now cold tea on the counter and you rest your elbows on it to hide your face in your hands.

"do you think that helps?" you're sobbing.

"i'm sorry. i know it doesn't. i just had a moment of realization and i think that's why i was so upset. i didn't want you to end this because i was in love with you since the start and didn't realize."

"this is fucking crazy." it really is, that's why you can't hold down the laugh of complete astonishment that leaves your lips. "do you realize how crazy this is? i just came out to you and you're- i don't even want to think about this."

"i'm really sorry, y/n." it's the first time you see guilt in danielle's face in a long time. "i really am. i really didn't know, i- i didn't know anything at all."

"you were upset of me potentially having feelings for you when it was you the whole time, huh?" this is no time or place to make jokes, you're literally crying as you speak. but this is hilarious. danielle seems to think so too given she also laughs.

"i don't know what i was thinking." she says, hiding her face in her palm in embarrassment.

"i wish i knew too." you say, "i never do."

"so what now? i mean, you clearly don't like me back." you don't understand how danielle does it. she never looks away, she faces the truth, something you're unable to do easily.

"that's a good question, i actually never thought about that." i mean, you thought the possibility of danielle ever liking a woman, let alone you, was at a mere 0.1%, can you blame yourself for not thinking of a solution to this?

"i mean, you did say you could."

"selfish asshole." you mutter to yourself, but danielle hears it anyways. "hey!"

"i'm crying right in front of you out of fear and frustration, have some respect, dude."

"i would say it wouldn't hurt to try but it clearly does so i don't know what you want to do." wow, danielle really could never do anything to make you hate her. nothing at all. "i don't mind being the selfless one this time."

"cheesy." she's always been like that, you can't say you hate it. "i'll reheat my tea and think about it."

danielle waits for you. maybe it wouldn't be so bad to risk falling in love with her too. you've risked it once.

the microwave beeps and you take your mug out. it's hot again. you turn to face danielle and she's still there, hasn't moved an inch. "i'm willing to give it a try. but nothing casual."

she shines you the widest grin you've ever seen from her. "nothing was ever casual, i fear."

"i still can't believe you cursed." you say as you walk past her to go to your room (that probably smells like danielle's perfume again).

"i did?!" she trails behind you. you nod. "i almost jumped."

"hey, am i the first one to know?"

"what, that i'm a lesbian?" she nods, now beside you. you shake your head after a sip of your tea.

"hanni knew."

"i'm not even the first? fuck..." is she doing this on purpose... she has to be, right?

"dude? hello?"

"don't dude me, i'm your future girlfriend." she hits your arm as you walk into your room. you don't know what you're gonna say to hanni when she comes back.

"confident much? shut up and pick a movie to watch." you'll figure it out later.

end.

🗒️ this wasn't as long as i thought it was gonna be THANK GOD

#newjeans x reader #danielle x reader #danielle marsh x reader #danielle angst #newjeans angst

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verstappen-cult · 1 year ago

Text

Max and Charles taking care of you during a night out, when you’ve drink a little too much.

You look around, trying to find your boys but they are nowhere to be seen, which leaves you wandering around until you find two of their friends, Daniel and Carlos, sitting on a couch talking.

“Hey, boys!” You say, happily, flopping down onto the couch right in the middle of them. You’ve interrupted their conversation but you don’t notice. They exchange looks, which you don’t notice either, and Carlos is up in a second, excusing himself.

“Hey, stranger.” Daniel says, moving closer. “‘What are you drinking?” He tries to take a look at your cup, but you take it to your lips.

"You wanna try it?" You ask him, words slurred.

"Yeah, let me just—" He goes to take the cup from your hands at the same time that you bring it closer to him, causing it to fall on Daniel's lap. "Shit!"

"I'm so sorry, Dani!" You look for something to clean the big stain on Daniel's blue jeans and, with you fuzzy brain, you decide that the only thing that could do the work is your dress. So, you take the hem of your dress, moving even closer to Dani – almost on his lap – not caring about your dress getting dirty.

“It’s okay.” He laughs. If he’s pissed he doesn’t show it, that’s how it always is with Dani. “Y/N, it’s okay!” Daniel tries to move away but you are decided to clean the spilled drink, even if it’s impossible by now.

“What’s happening?” Max’s voice cuts through the air. You lift your head up, eyes glazed over.

“I spilled my drink,” You sniff, looking between your boyfriend and the stain on the boy’s leg. “but Dani won’t let me help him.”

“I don’t think there’s anything you can do, princess.” Charles sits by your side, hands immediately pulling your dress down. “Dani will take care of it, yes?”

Daniel nods. “It’s nothing, really. I have like a dozen of these same jeans.” His big, warm smile makes you feel better. Just a little, you still feel like a fool. “I’ll borrow something from Carlos.” He winks at you before standing up and getting lost.

Max sighs, crossing his arms and staring you down.

“What did we say about mixing different drinks?”

“I was just having fun with Lando.” You pout, looking at your stained dress.

Charles grins and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “What did you drink?”

“Just a few shots of tequila.” You shrug, snuggling closer to Charles. “Oh, did you know he makes this delicious vodka with cranberry juice?”

Max sighs, shaking his head in disapproval. “What else?”

“Your favorite drink.” You look at him beneath your eyelashes.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Max frowns and closes his mouth. “We talked about this.”

“Relax, Max.” Charles chimes in, working his arm around your waist. “She learned her lesson, right?”

You nod enthusiastically, which is a bad idea because it makes you feel dizzy. Max is immediately moving closer, kneeling in front of you.

“Easy there, baby. We don’t want you throwing up in the middle of the living room.” Max strokes your hair and you can’t help but lean into his touch, relaxed.

“Should we go home?” Charles asks him.

“But I don’t wanna go!” You know you always – well, most of the time – get what you want if you pout, so, that’s exactly what you do.

“What? You wanna go back to drink with Lando?”

“Well, no, but I don’t wanna ruin your night.”

“Oh, baby, you’re not ruining our night. We’d rather be with you at home.” Charles kisses your cheek and you giggle, feeling warm.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, let’s get you home, pretty girl.”

Max helps you stand up, his arm around your waist to help you walk. Not that you need it, you’re just a little tipsy. But you like it when they act all protective over you. Charles makes sure to let their friends know they are leaving before joining you and Max outside.

You lean against the car, pouting for what feels like the hundredth time in the night. “Can we go to McDonald’s?”

#꒰꒰ 📁 ─ verstappen cult files ꒱꒱#f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #max verstappen x reader #charles leclerc x reader #lestappen x reader #f1 imagine #charles leclerc fluff #max verstappen imagine #poly!f1 #charles leclerc blurb #poly!lestappen

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coolwyous · 2 months ago

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┈─★ 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ when an unexpected breakup leaves you without a date to your sister’s wedding, it’s perfect, confident lara raj, the goalie for your university's hockey team, who jumps in to your rescue and volunteers to keep up a charade until your family is off your back. but as your friendship deepens, the lines begin to blur between what’s real and what’s for show.

ˎˊ˗ ❄️ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🔓୭˚. ⠀ ᵎᵎ ⠀ 🗝️

➴ pairing: hockey player! lara raj x physical therapy major!f!reader

➴ genre + wc: 12k, college au, FAKE DATING!, mutual pining, extremely slow burn, friends to lovers, denial of feelings, charming hockey jock lara, super domestic and slice of life-y, reader is a chronic overthinker and people pleaser...., just more fluff idk

➴ you might want to tune in...: bubble gum - newjeans.

┈─★ a/n: goalie lara anyone? the hockey au expands w our favorite team mommy <33 this fic is set overlapping the events of ditto, so if you're waiting for ditto pt 2, this gives a tiny behind the scenes. i am so in love w writing the dynamics in this verse, i hope everyone enjoys! dani's upcoming fic will complete the trio and prob be the longest of the three. also should clarify: megan + ditto!y/n are freshmen; hlbwfil!y/n, lara and dani are sophomores; sophia and manon are juniors.

cw:// mentions of recreational drug use, some suggestiveness? also reader BRIEFLY dates a man...

[*set overlapping the events of ditto-- read first here if you don't want spoilers!]

a new semester, same routine. it’s your second year as the women’s hockey team’s resident physical therapist in training. kinesiology isn’t an easy major, but you love it with your whole heart, and the girls all make it worth it.

“i’m just saying, matching tattoos would look sick,” daniela says as the golden trio approaches the physio room after their showers.

“yeah, but not of each other’s faces,” megan grimaces. you laugh at the notion that dani would even suggest it.

“oh my god, the world’s most beautiful girl,” lara smiles, dropping down onto the cushioned bench in front of you.

“oh my god, i must be a mirror,” you grin back.

you won’t talk about your soft spot for the trio. you love all of the girls on the team, but there’s a special bond you built with the three musketeers. megan, the baby of the team, who opened up to you about how much she misses her mom as you walk her through some stretches for her back strain. dani, the chaotic team captain with no boundaries, who beams every time you compliment her after she makes it through her ice bath without flinching.

and lara raj. you especially won’t talk about your soft spot for lara, the confident, secure goalie who you’ve grown especially close with.

you know lara makes it a habit to be this nice to everybody. it comes with the territory. you know lara comes from money without flaunting it, always offering to cover meals for the girls with that insanely heavy black credit card with her dad’s name on it. she’s told you a little bit about how good she’s had it, the perfect parents, a super nice older sister, solid grades and of course, a talent for making sure a puck never flies past her.

it’s easy to love lara— perfect, confident, generous lara.

(so maybe you let yourself love her, just a little too much, but that’s for you to keep to yourself.)

lara’s compliments can sometimes come off as a bit much, but that’s the thing you’ve realized with her. while megan is usually too nervous to choke out anything, and dani says whatever is on her mind with no filter, lara finds the perfect balance. lara is observant and attentive, and she sees people for what they care about and finds a way to make them feel seen for it.

well, you don’t exactly prioritize being beautiful, but it’s a bonus that lara likes to call her loved ones pretty.

“can i talk to you about something?” she asks as you put stabilizing tape on her shoulder. your supervisor is in the office coming up with treatment plans for that week for the rest of the team.

despite daniela being the one that boasts the giant “c” on her jersey, lara is the de facto team mom. while dani is the one screaming in coach’s face about his unfair treatment of a player, lara the one constantly waving you down when someone tries to hide an injury or fake feeling better, making sure they get the attention they need instead of toughing it out. their dynamic is polar opposite, the defender and the caretaker but the two best friends complete each other.

“what’s up?” you hum, watching as the strips of KT tape start to make a mesmerizing pattern against lara’s soft skin.

“i’m worried about meg’s grade in our english class.” she whispers, ensuring the girl can’t hear you guys from outside the door. “dani chat gpt’s it all and gets away with it, i feel fine, but we’re struggling to help her keep up.”

“you told her not to take intro to british lit with you,” you remind her.

“i know, but i don’t think it’ll help to rub it in right now,” she sighs. “it’s so much reading."

you feel your brow furrow as you remember your assistant coach whispering something about academic probation to your head coach once last week, when they were doing their monthly grade assessment. the season is going so well, and megan’s been absolutely killing her position as center to the point that she’s the starter, so you can imagine how bad the team would suffer if she gets temporarily barred from playing.

you see the look in her eyes. lara’s worried about what it’ll do to megan if she gets dinged for her grades and has to stop playing, even for a short amount of time.

“when yunjin got diagnosed with adhd, she was able to talk to the university resource center to ask for more time during tests,” you remember, wracking your brain for a solution. the defenseman had told you about it at the very beginning of the semester, as if it was a hack.

“okay, period. we have a plan a,” lara beams. “you and that big brain, y/n.”

you feel your ears redden and shake your head. “what’s our plan b in case my big brain fails?”

“i will seduce her professor and change the grade myself,” she decides. you laugh but quickly feel yourself furrow as she winces at the you bend her shoulder. she tries to keep you away from changing the topic. “i’ll take one for the team. maybe that should be plan a, actually.”

“hey, no,” you press gently, concerned. she had told you the shoulder was pain free. “is your rotator cuff still bothering you?”

“it’s sore when i don’t stretch it, but that’s just me getting old,” lara waves you off.

“what do you think i’m going to say to you next?” you ask her.

“oh my god, y/n, always so non-confrontational. like my little conscience in my ear, asking me questions until the guilt eats me alive,” lara laughs, shoving you away from her. “it’s so annoying how good at that you are, you pacifist.”

you smile and put your supplies away, but lara’s words are nothing but the truth. you’re so painfully fearful of confrontation, it’s almost a joke that the career you’ve picked is with a full contact sport.

you open your mouth to say something, to ask further about the injury, when your phone ringing catches your attention. you feel yourself tense as you see the contact photo.

but lara, perfect, attentive lara, never misses anything with you.

“boyfriend again?”

she gives you a questioning look. she knows everything about you, including how rocky things have been with your less than attentive boyfriend lately.

“distance isn’t easy on anyone,” you say simply, but her look says enough. she gets up and offers you a reassuring hug.

“you’re not just anyone, so don’t let him treat you like you are.” how the hell does she always manage to sound straight out of a soap opera? you nod, blinking back the rising heat in your chest at the nerves

“it’s complicated,” you remind her, but she’s already giving you that look. you hate how you guys can communicate so much with so little.

you flag your supervisor to come check your work and step outside to take the call. you can feel lara’s eyes on you the whole time.

“hi felix…”

a week passes by, and so do two more phone calls that go the exact same way. all ending with a knot in your stomach at his words. you’re silently grateful that your roommate dropped out in the second week of school. a solo dorm all to yourself is a luxury you don’t take for granted when you’re so constantly fighting on the phone with someone into the late hours of the night.

“he’s mad about me not calling him when he got out of class again,” you sigh over facetime with daniela, as you flop onto your bed after a particularly boring history lecture. “i have explained so many times that i go straight from class to go work on you guys after practice.”

“go cheat on him or something,” daniela says simply. “he’s an annoying little bitch.”

“dani,” you sigh exasperatedly. you love her, but it’s easy to see why coach blames her for his going bald. she can be extremely difficult and give zero fucks about it.

you’ve always kept an extremely small circle. but lara’s in class, megan has never been in a relationship, yunjin is out with her girlfriend, and you’d rather die than talk to your sister about your boyfriend issues.

which leaves daniela, whose brash, calloused responses remind you just how perfect and emotionally in-tune with you lara is.

however, what daniela lacks in tact she makes up for in passion and pure heart, so you can always read between the lines and see her intentions are good.

“dude, come get fucked up with me and the kappa theta girls this weekend and you will literally never want to talk to that limp dick loser again.”

okay. mostly good intentions.

you remain silent as you assess the lack of food in your minifridge. usually, the silent treatment works wonders to get dani back on track, and this time is no exception.

“well, either way, you’ve always got lara who’d drop anything to marry you in a heartbeat.”

you laugh. that’d what you needed, the thing the three musketeers are so good at– saying the stupidest things.

“i’m ready when she is,” you tell her jokingly, tossing an old box of leftovers into the trash.

“been ready. break up with your soggy bitch and i’ll take y’all to the courthouse tomorrow.” you hear her laugh, but then you hear something like water bubbling, followed by a long exhale.

“don’t you have a press conference tomorrow?” you laugh, realizing exactly what the noise was.

“why do you think i’m getting baked out of my mind right now instead of in the morning? for a smart girl you’re kinda dumb sometimes, y/n,” she teases.

“don’t flirt with me too loud now, my dorm’s gonna end up burnt down by one of your crazy stalkers,” you deadpan dryly, realizing you need to go get something to eat.

“when you decide you’re done with that fucking joke of a man, i know a girl who’s lined up waiting for you,” she tells you between coughs, “and unfortunately for you, it isn’t me.”

“thanking god that i’m the one girl on earth who won’t take a ride on the avanzini train,” you laugh. daniela has always been respectfully inappropriate, and she’s one of the few people you feel comfortable enough to tease. “your ride’s probably messed up anyways.”

“100% satisfaction rate, lots of insistent repeat customers actually,” she defends herself passionately. “i wouldn’t be so bold, y/n, your shit is probably whack if it’s got your man tweaking so bad.”

“and the convo ends nee-ow,” you sigh, shaking your head, but your heart feels a little less heavy after dani’s nonsense. “thanks for cheering me up, captain.”

“thanks for patching us up all the time. we love you, y/n. keep your head up.”

the line dies out, and you go to lace up your sneakers. as much as dani loves to say shit to get a rise out of people, you think back over her words. lara.

perfect, confident lara has always been honest about how much she adores you. at first, you used to think it was just her way of making you feel comfortable around all of them. the hockey team is close, freakishly close, and she was always so warm and thoughtful enough to invite you to all their outings and make you feel included. she never had to– you’re only with them through next year, and then senior year you’ll be at the university medical center working in a real physical therapy clinic for your clinical rotation. your end goal is sports medicine, and you’d love to get hired by the hockey team once you graduate, but you need to keep your options open and be prepared for anything.

plus, you and felix are supposed to look for jobs in the same city once you graduate, move in together, build a life…

that beautiful, melodic voice enters your head as you hunt down your wallet. lara loved to bat her eyes at you whenever you mentioned not knowing what comes after graduation: “aw y/n, don’t you wanna take care of me forever?”

in the early days, you used to think she and dani were the same breed of college athlete. cocky, arrogant, flirtatious. the flirting rang true for the both of them, but you started to see where lara differed. she was tender, caring, and empathetic at times you had least expected.

the first time she ever told you she’d liked you, you thought it was another one of her mindless flirtations. you had learned to let them roll off your shoulder by that point. but even after you had laughed, she stood there, brows arched, and reiterated it. “y/n, i’m serious. i really am into you.”

you feel your spine tingle at the memory. what are you supposed to do with that? you and felix had just hit a year. a rocky, bumpy year, but you had met just after high school and you figured you owed it your best shot. lara was quickly one of your closest friends, and you had confided everything in her.

she never defined it as a crush, nor did she ever make you feel guilty for it. her transparency was equal parts confusing and refreshing. it made your friendship stronger, if anything. never crossing the line of touching too close or flirting too passionately. you two existed in a weird limbo– lara raj was somehow in love with you, openly so, and yet was so damn perfect she never made it big enough to affect your friendship.

(this is the part where you try to stop thinking about it before your head has a hard time making sense of it all… but… don’t you love her too?)

you step out of your dorm and spot an unfamiliar girl letting herself into your neighbor’s dorm. your neighbor, baby megan skiendiel’s dorm. you feel a rise of suspicion. chronically bitchless megan, as the trio calls her? maybe you’ll give her roomie danielle a heads up?

meg’s got someone over. she’s reaaaallly pretty

i appreciate you! ;-; best neighbour ever!

ofc <333

i think she mentioned something about a study partner?

you smile and step out of the building into the chilly night air. lara made it happen. you know megan would have been too nervous to ask for the support on her own, so it must have been with the guidance of the older girls that–

your phone buzzes. felix, again.

“i just barely got home and headed to dinner, like the second you called me,” you tell him quickly as you pick up, wanting to avoid another fight. you can feel yourself already breathless and anxious.

“why do you always talk to me like that? like i’m an idiot. i’m not an idiot, y/n. did it ever occur to you that your standards are just too unrealistic?” his voice is so cold, making your stomach turn as you keep walking towards the dining hall, trying to avoid letting your eyes water before you see someone you may know.

“i don’t think it’s that ridiculous. we’re long distance. we don’t have the easy things to fall back on,” you furrow your eyebrows, nearly disgusted.

but then he pauses, and you can hear him suck in a breath. your stomach drops at the way his tone changes.

“maybe we should think about that. if the distance is too hard.”

“what the fuck, felix?” you try not to make it a habit to swear, but the tears are already pricking at the corners of your eyes. you want to scream but everything stays trapped in your chest.

“you gave up forever ago,” he accuses you.

“you think so?” is all you can manage to ask. it’s moments like this where you admire someone as unhinged as daniela, who you’re sure could easily give him a piece of her mind, or yunjin, who won’t stand for even a whiff of disrespect.

or lara, you think, who’d know her worth enough to just hang up and move right on along.

you lose yourself in silence as felix unleashes a rant that feels much too pre-prepared to be brought on by simply missing his call. you feel your chest ache at the thought of everything changing for you. you don’t know how much time has passed before he realizes you haven’t said anything. you’ve always hated that about him. you’re naturally reserved, and it’s almost like he just assumes you have nothing to say.

he ends the call when he’s ready, with a “sorry it had to be like this, y/n,” and you’re too drained to fight him on it. you stop and sit on a nearby bench to wipe your face clean and send a quick rescue text to the only person you really want to talk to in that moment.

lara’s calling you less than 30 seconds after you hit send.

“lar, you’re in class, you didn’t have to call me,” you chastise her gently, but you know there’s no point.

“i know you said call you after class, but that’s such an sos, you never need anything so i know this has got to be the real deal,” she tells you.

“i just needed to get out of my head.”

“everything okay?” she asks tenderly.

“um, no. not really.” you take a deep breath and look up, trying to avoid the well of tears coming back up. “i think felix and i just broke up.”

“oh, fuck that guy. never liked him. i’m coming to get you in 5.”

perfect, always-knows-what-to-say lara raj does exactly that, tracking you by your location just a few minutes later, and insists you two go out to eat and tell her everything. it stings, but lara’s presence makes everything more bearable. maybe this isn’t the worst thing that could have come out of today.

you wake up in your dorm and feel the dull, anxious buzz in your stomach as you remember yesterday’s call. but spending the rest of the night with one of your favorite people had made it practically melt away, and by the time she had dropped you off, felix was far out of your mind.

you’re taking the breakup better than most would expect, but then again, you’ve also been called “the statue” by coach by how non-reactive you are.

what’s the point in losing your cool and letting others get the best of you? sure, your sister grew up walking all over you, but most of the time, it wasn’t worth it to get into it with her. you’ve been like this since you were little– you hoard your emotions, stoic through all hardships, too afraid to let people see you struggle and think any less of you. your dad’s always been such a worry wart, your step-mom is insanely judgemental, and your sister jordan gets everything she wants, never once having understood what it’s like to feel like a burden.

your sister, who you haven’t thought of all night. why would you? this breakup is about–

oh god. your very demanding, very aggressive, very engaged-to-be-married-in-two-weeks, sister.

your jaw nearly drops as you realize the extra layer of what your breakup means for you. your hands shake in panic.

breakfast with lara. you feel it anchor you, ever so slightly. there’s an idea that pops into your head that you barely let yourself contemplate before realizing if there’s anyone who could come to your rescue, it might be perfect, angel lara.

“you know i’d never ask anything of you, ever, right?” you start as the two of you sit down, setting your trays onto the table.

“yes, you’re too proud and too hardworking,” lara nods, grinning as you smack her shoulder.

“okay,” you breathe nervously, “well i am extremely embarrassed to ask you this, but my psychopath of a sister is getting married in two weeks and i already told her i was in a relationship, so if i show up alone, she’s never going to let me hear the end of it, ‘cause she planned for a specific seating arrangement and—”

oh my god, you realize you’re rambling. you try to pivot to what the bigger issue is.

“damn, okay, well let me just say that my my stepmom will be weird, my dad is gonna overreact and make me come back home, i won’t get to finish my program–”

oh my god, again you gasp at yourself. this is why the hell you don’t let yourself panic. you crack.

there’s a pause as you see lara digest all of it.

“parents love me,” lara finally grins. you let out the breath that had been stuck in your throat. you feel an immense gratitude that she isn’t pushing you to say it.

how could you possibly mutter the words out loud? will you be my fake date to this real wedding?

“i’m so sure yours did,” you roll your eyes, but you can’t help but laugh. she’s got the confidence of a child who was never told no.

“all parents,” she pushes back, poking you in the ribs.

“don’t get too cocky. it was between you, daniela, and meg, but meg gets nervous when someone even breathes next to her and dani is-”

“oh my god,” lara covers her mouth with her hand at the image in her head. “she’d be forcing your family members to drink shots out of her mouth and harassing the dj.”

you hold three fingers up, and fold them down as you go through the lineup of your options. “our infant daughter who can barely remember her own name, hot-headed attention whore with no boundaries, or charming and slightly overconfident sweetheart.”

“i’m going to pretend my competition wasn’t those two idiots and just tell myself i was the clear winner from the start.”

“i’ll owe you everything,” you tell her gently.

“i’m happy to do it.” she shakes her head, before a beaming grin. “you know it’s inevitable that we fall in love though, right?”

you laugh, but she reaches out to you, and your hands meet over the table. what a massive reassurance.

“lara i can’t stress enough how thankful i am, and how anxious over all of it i am.”

“i got this,” she reassures you, confident nod. “i’ve got you.”

“thank you,” you breathe quietly once more, and you feel your heart stir. you do trust her, with your whole heart actually, to make this work.

you’re supposed to be sleeping in when the blare of your phone ringing shocks you awake. again, grateful to live alone.

“ugh, jordy, it’s 6 in the damn morning,” you groan as you bring the phone to your ear. your sister has her own special ringtone, love by keyshia cole, her stupid go to karaoke song.

“y/n,” jordan drawls, and you roll your eyes as you remember she simply does not care about inconveniencing you. “my friend wants to know if you’ll let her third wheel you at the table. i’ve never met your boyfriend so i want to know he won’t be weird with her.”

you almost don’t remember what she’s talking about, until you feel your body tense. the damn wedding looming over your head.

the good thing about being notoriously private, you realize, is that you had kept your relationship entirely between the two of you. felix had hated how you never posted him, never let him tag you in anything, never let him meet your family or friends, simply told them “i’m seeing someone” once you had hit six months. you bite your tongue. maybe you could see why he’d be so frustrated… but you’ve always wanted to keep your business to yourself, and having someone associated to you for people to judge you off of would be entirely unfair to you.

“girlfriend,” you correct her quietly. as soon as the word comes out, you can’t hide from it any more. you and lara are committing to the charade.

“girlfriend?” she sounds surprised, but not annoyed. “okay, but she needs to wear my colors or i’ll kill her.”

you breathe a quiet laugh. at least jordan can always make things about herself. “i’ll make sure she knows.”

“anyways, my friend, she’s so cute, says she’s in your research methods class,” she pivots back to her initial ask. “i’ll tell her she can link up with you whenever. i’ll give her your instagram.”

before you can say anything, jordan hangs up unceremoniously. you furiously get dressed and brush your teeth, trying to rush to lara as soon as physically possible. this adds a kink to your plan.

you make it to her dorm in a few and punch in her keycode, letting yourself into her room quietly. you poke around to see if her roommates are home and if you’ll wake her, but luckily, the only person you see in the bed is her.

your heart thuds. perfect, sweet lara raj, slumbering like an angel, her lips parted slightly and her brows furrowed in her sleep.

“lar,” you gently hum, approaching with caution. “lar, it’s y/n.”

you had let yourself into her dorm after her insistence before, and as she stirs awake, a smile takes to her lips. “i was hoping it’d be you when i heard the door.”

“um, so, issue.” you whisper, kneeling by her bed as you play with her hair to help her wake up. “my sister basically wants a friend of her’s to hang out with us so she’s not uncomfortable at the wedding, but i have no clue who the friend is.”

lara rubs at her eyes sleepily, reaching for her phone as she looks up at you. “which means…”

“i’m really sorry.” the weight of this isn’t lost upon you. “is there any way we can be like, pretend exclusive for the next week and a half? if this girl sees you out with someone and texts my sister then it’s all pointless.”

“oh, so like, fully off the market?” lara arches an eyebrow.

“i know it’s a huge ask.”

there’s a heavy pause, and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you alive. what an embarrassing situation to force lara into. you’d fully understand if she’d push back.

but perfect, helpful lara raj simply grins up at you and shows you her phone, finger hovering over her dating apps folder as she deletes them one by one in front of you.

“i’ll delete my tinder right now.” she says easily. “not about to blow your cover.”

you let out a deep breath and swarm her in a hug. “lara, you’re a godsend.”

“not my first time hearing that,” she beams back at you.

you get a dm in that moment from a random photography instagram that had followed you later that morning. the profile picture is of a tree, giving you no hints about this girl’s identity.

peanutbutterlover02: hey <3 jordan said i could come crash you guys! are you busy today? maybe we can do dinner together?

you breathe shakily. your first test as a fake couple.

“let’s do it,” lara says confidently, and you realize she’s reading over your shoulder.

“if my asks ever get too weird, please, please say something.” you tell her firmly. “i don’t ever want you uncomfortable just to help me out. we can scale it back any time if the lines get blurry.”

“y/n, this is like a dream come true for me,” lara teases. “i’ll speak up if i need to, but don’t worry too much about me, okay?”

“thank you,” you breathe shakily, and send a reply to this girl with a time and place.

you’re getting ready for the hang out after practice when lara texts you.

meg and dani found out we’re going to the makers market and want to come... maybe a small group will make her more comfortable?

our first exposure is a group thing?

if that’s okay?

won’t they be weird about us acting like that?

do you trust them to keep a secret?

you’re heading out the dorm but pause in your tracks. one massive factor you didn’t consider— the girl with no filter.

oh my god daniela

and that big mouth

i will beg her

no don’t do that, pretty girl. i’ll talk to her. she’ll always do it for the team.

lara always manages to find a way. you feel your chest loosen and keep walking, shooting a message to jordan’s friend before jumping back to lara.

my hero

;) we’ll be there in like 5

you spot the girl on the bench in front of the library, exactly where you agreed to meet up.

“hi!” she greets, pulling you in for a hug. “you’re jordy’s sister. i’m manon.”

“how do you know each other?” you ask curiously. jordan is a bitch, in every sense, and manon seems so… normal?

“jordy is my hair girl.” she smiles and taps at the intricate patterns along her scalp. “cleanest parts i have ever seen.”

“i’m y/n,” you smile, and let out a small breath before you commit fully to the act. no turning back now. “my girlfriend and her friends will be here super soon.”

as if on cue, you hear old justin bieber rnb blaring from an approaching vehicle, and recognize lara’s car right away.

“hi ladies,” lara beams from the window as she pulls up to the curb. you see the ginger hair and blonde curls in the back. “your uber is here.”

manon squeezes into the back, and you take the passengers seat. you suck in a breath. maybe you and lara should have practiced how to be, what to do, how to navigate this, especially in front of two of your closest friends. lara makes easy work of chatting up manon and keeping the conversation flowing until you guys get to the makers market, a bustling farmers market for art where they block off a whole street for vendors.

you’re too busy overthinking to notice megan and daniela’s widened eyes as lara snakes an arm around your waist as you all start walking. your skin tenses at the contact.

lara, confident, unshakable lara, does it as if you’ve been hers for years. this might not be a mission destined for failure after all.

manon is extremely sweet and undeniably hilarious. the evening goes on without a hitch (maybe besides dani trying to race megan to see who can eat their korean corn dog faster causing both of them to choke) but even the small hiccups are nothing compared to how natural lara is at making this so convincing. she’s touching you at every opportunity, taking pictures of you each time you turn back to look at her, buying every thing you even look at. you know it’s all for show, but you can’t help but think of how easy she makes it seem. if felix was this competent, he’d be the one you’d want here right now, but lara does all the things you begged him to do, without having to be asked.

you guys are back on campus before 9pm, but you’re having too much fun. you spend a lot of time buried in anatomy textbooks or watching orthopedic surgeries, and tonight, you just want to enjoy it with your friends.

“we can go back to my room,” you offer to the group as you guys wander out of the parking garage. “i have a single.”

the group agrees, and the five of you make it to your dorm in just a few minutes walking. lara’s hand snakes into yours, and you feel your spine tingle.

“do you guys smoke?” manon raises her brows hopefully, holding up her bag. you guide them all up the stairs of the building and into your room, plugging in your twinkle lights.

“fuck yeah,” dani beams.

“aren’t we getting drug tested this week?” megan asks worriedly.

“next week, kiddo,” lara rubs the top of her head playfully. “and we’ll just skip you. no pressure.”

manon takes a pre-roll out of the hand-painted altoid tin in her purse and you head over to crack the window. in just a few minutes, you’re all laughing on the floor of your room, nodding along to music playing from your speaker, passing the joint around amongst the group.

“why didn’t they give you captain?” you ask lara. “you’re such a good role model. minus the recreational drug use and flirting with everyone you know.”

“they wanted to, actually. did you know that?” megan says, a bright grin on her lips.

“you said no?” you ask in surprise. lara is staring at the ground, thumb rubbing along the bottom of your braids.

“i didn’t want it.” she shrugs calmly, taking another inhale. “i like hockey, i just like other things too. can’t make it my whole life, duh.”

“plus, she doesn’t have the same face i do for interviews,” dani butts in, flexing dramatically. “cameras love the curls + dimple combo.”

manon snorts, and you and lara exchange smiles. you won’t talk about how comfortable it feels to have lara leaning against your shoulder, playing with your hair, the proximity of her washing a wave of comfort over you.

“hey do you guys think i have negative aura just ‘cause i didn’t smoke?” megan asks, nose wrinkling as she watches you guys hand the joint amongst yourselves.

“no. you’re bitchless because you’re scared of your own shadow,” daniela quickly answers, and megan’s face drops.

“bro, i can totally pull.”

“i see no bitches,” dani claps back. “all you do is text that tutor of yours. get her to at least show you a titty or something, come on.��

the four of you laugh in tandem as megan glares at the blonde.

“don’t talk about my tutor like that.”

“a boundary, from the baby?” lara all but cries, beaming so brightly you feel like she might fall over. “baby’s first boundary! get the camera!”

megan rolls her eyes and waves her off. you guys talk and talk into a random hour of the night, enjoying the calm of getting to know someone new and change up the routine just a bit. this yap session is a welcome change of pace, and you’ve never enjoyed yourself more than listening to dani debate with anyone who disagrees with her, watching megan push back weakly, manon simply laugh at everything, and lara reel it in when it gets too crazy while still adding fuel to the fire. you could stay like this forever, you think to yourself.

“it’s so late,” you realize as you finally look at your phone for the first time all night. “you guys can stay so you don’t have to walk back when it’s so dark.”

“i live next door,” megan tells manon, excusing herself. “this was fun.”

“we should totally do it again, thank you guys for being so fun,” manon smiles, before assessing your room. you have your bed, the extra bed, and a wide space between the two beds in the middle of the dorm. “if it’s okay to stay, i can totally sleep on the floor with no issue.”

“no way, you’re the guest,” you insist, reaching under your bed to locate your extra blankets. manon and dani start cleaning up the ash tray and trying to air out your room.

your brain runs through the possible combinations. manon on the floor, jordan finds out and kills you. dani on the floor, she’ll complain all night. you guys could figure out sharing beds, manon and dani could—

your eyes widen, and as if she’s thinking about the exact same combination, lara’s panicked gaze meets you at the exact same time.

“no fucking chance,” lara whispers. “the animal needs her own bed."

the only viable solution makes itself painfully clear as you shrug and whisper back to lara. “we could sleep on the floor.”

“perfect. always with the plans,” she beams back happily. lara directs the two, gesturing to the separate beds. “you’ll be here, and you’ll be here.”

“i can’t do that to you,” manon frowns, seeing you set up the pillow and blanket on the carpeted floor.

“it’s too small for us to both fit. we’re happier like this anyways,” lara insists, and it’s enough for manon to offer a smile of gratitude. everyone gets into their assigned spots, the smell of incense and the buzz of your fan lulling you into drowsiness after lara turns off your lights.

“good night manon, thanks for hanging out with us,” you tell her, happy to have made a new friend.

“say good night to me,” daniela pouts.

“you’re the reason we can’t make normal friends,” lara snips back.

manon laughs. “i love you guys already.”

“good night,” lara whispers in your ear as she arranges herself besides you, pressing a kiss into your hair. the feeling is so foreign coming from her, and yet you feel your body seek her out as you press back into her hug.

you close your eyes and let her pull you close. you know there’s an end in sight, but maybe you’ll let yourself pretend it could be longer.

the next morning, everyone disperses to their own dorms before the day starts. you make it through your classes though it’s a struggle with the lack of sleep. by the time you come out of your final class of the day, ready to head towards the ice rink to prepare for the girls’ practice, a familiar figure is standing outside your classroom, leaning against the wall. her eyes light up as she spots you.

“what are you doing?” you ask, seeing her practice bag slung over her shoulder.

“we date, so i walk you to practice,” she says simply, reaching out for you. “duh.”

you remember that her last class of the day ended over an hour ago, meaning she must have waited for you. you shake your head in surprise. “your class is closer to the stadium.”

“i’d rather walk with you,” she says back easily. perfect, charming lara raj, always ready to push back against your excuses.

“there’s no need to be that public,” you respond. ugh, why can’t you just accept the gesture. she wants to make your life so easy and yet something in you can’t accept the generosity.

“what if manon sees us and is wondering why we don’t seem loved up?” lara challenges you. “i’d hate to have her tell your sister we’re fighting.”

“more people might ask questions,” you whisper nervously.

“let them.” she smiles, forever a beacon of confidence. “not their business.”

you’re running out of reasons to push her away. “coach?”

“we can tell him it’s new. who’s he gonna tell?”

she takes your hand in hers, and you let her, wishing you had let her a long, long time ago.

it becomes way too easy to go through these motions with lara. when you’re alone, she’s respectful, never needing to make any advances that don’t suit the moment, allowing your friendship to still be anchored in some normalcy. the touches are intimate but never suggestive, the compliments are tender but never too intense, and she’s only ever kissed you on the head or on the hand.

but you start to struggle when you’re alone, craving her closeness but confused as to why you’d want that if it’s just the two of you. you think about the timeline of this insanely busy week. tomorrow, the pre-game party. day after, the championship game, and the day after that, you fly in the morning to make it to the wedding by the evening. your facade is coming to an end, and you know you guys should figure out what the story will be as to why you’ll inevitably “break up,” but each time you guys hang out late at night with manon, all you can focus on is immersing yourself in the experience.

you’re all laying on the floor of your dorm, smoking dani’s weed this time (megan as the exception, too nervous to risk it the week of such an important game) and chatting mindlessly. manon won’t be able to make it to tomorrow’s party, so you guys all make it a point to have another of your yap sessions in your room.

“with the exception of the obvious happy couple,” manon starts her question, staring up at the ceiling. “have you guys ever been in love before?”

“no.” megan’s nose wrinkles. “i just barely started kissing people.”

“a few times,” lara confesses, calmly. she had mentioned a few of her relationships back when you guys were just friends, a few flings you noticed her get caught up in. you never minded, lara was never ever supposed to hold back just because she had admitted to liking you, but you couldn’t help but wonder about these girls every time you noticed her get into something new. “maybe three. i’m not in the business of denying my feelings.”

“which one was the deepest?” manon asks curiously.

lara pauses, contemplating. you don’t expect anything from her. in 48 hours, she won’t owe you anything. but yet, perfect, angelic lara, always manages to catch you off guard.

“this one,” she says, and you can’t tear your eyes away from her. her confession rattles through your chest. “it’s like a dream, but i know it’s a dream, and i’m trying to enjoy it as much as i could before i have to wake up.”

you feel your pulse in your neck. manon and megan both turn to look at you. any other time, you’d avoid the question and leave it there– sure, you had liked felix, enough to stay with him all that time, but there was never anything about him that rattled you, that unnerved you and comforted you all at once. had you ever even really liked him in the first place? had you admired, respected, felt seen by him?

(had you ever once loved him, even half as much as you love lara raj?)

you let out a shaky breath. maybe you can be brave enough to say it out loud, just this time, let yourself pretend before it’s all over.

“once,” you finally admit. lara’s eyes come to meet yours.

“yeah?”

“perfect girl is easy to love,” you tell her simply. your chest warms and she brings her nose to rest against the tip of yours.

“once, for me too,” dani says, staring blankly at the ceiling. the admission surprises you, and you can tell lara and megan seem just as caught off guard. daniela lets out a quiet breath. “just once.”

“what happened?” you pry gently.

daniela laughs, and it’s the first time in the two years you’ve known her that you’ve ever heard her with a hint of something more in her voice. “it fucking hurt. i didn’t ever want to go through that again.”

“should i be scared?” megan asks, brows furrowing in concern.

“no,” daniela says quickly, waving her off. “i’m a lightning strike. being in love is so, so beautiful.”

“how do you know when it happens?” the ginger asks, voice gentle.

“you just know,” manon says simply.

megan pauses for a beat, before letting out a quiet breath. “i want to change my answer.”

“oh?” you ask.

“tutor girl?” lara arches a brow, turning away from you to peer over at the youngest girl.

“she’s so easy to like. she’s so, so smart, and so nice to me, even when she’s being playful, she’s doing it to make me laugh. she believes in me, through everything. every time i’m around her i just feel like i don’t have to be anyone but myself, whoever i am that day. i’ll call her when i’m on the road, and it makes me feel better.” megan doesn’t usually have this much to say about anything, and it warms you to hear her go on and on like this. she looks down at her hands, playing with her fingernails. “i invited her to the party tomorrow, and it sucks ‘cause i know i’ve got no fucking chance.”

“i think you’re really brave for letting yourself dive in. sometimes it just feels to say it out loud, even if nothing comes from it,” manon tells her, smiling in encouragement.

“i think i’m in love,” megan whispers quietly.

gentle snores are heard from the corner. you all peek over to see dani peacefully slumbering from her spot on the floor.

“leave her there,” lara laughs. “we’ll deal with her complaints in the morning.”

“can i stay here tonight?” megan asks, grimacing. “i can’t tell if my stomach hurts because of the party, the game, or the fact that i’m super down bad.”

“always,” you offer a nod of reassurance.

manon and megan shuffle in to fit into the other bed, and lara joins you in yours. dani’s quiet snores are somehow extremely comforting.

“thanks for letting me talk about it, guys,” megan thanks you quietly. manon smiles and the two turn back-to-back in the bed.

lara’s eyes are warm, still fixed on yours as you face each other in the tight squeeze into your twin bed. you close your eyes and curl up, lara resting her chin on the top of your head as she hugs you from the front. you feel your entire body melt into her.

her voice is gentle, and infinitely tender as she murmurs into your hair.

“y/n y/ln, i’m in love with you.”

“ugh. i want that,” manon groans from the bed.

you don’t open your eyes. lara’s voice lingers in your ears. what a beautiful song to fall asleep to.

the party the next day is 10x as insane as the girls initially told you it would be. bodies everywhere, volume threatening to split your eardrums. jordan has tried to call you at least twice to make final arrangements before her wedding in two days, but each time you try to find an empty room, you’ve found either yunjin and her girlfriend making out, a random group snorting something off a table, or a screaming couple in the middle of a fight. you make your way back downstairs and decide your sister can wait.

besides, it’s one of your last times getting to play house with lara. perfect and confident lara, who lights up as soon as she spots you coming back downstairs, handing you back the drink she had so dutifully been watching over.

“watch watch watch,” lara pulls you in, motioning over to the corner. “i think the baby is trying to make a move.”

you see your favorite awkward ginger and a cute little sorority girl in the corner of the room, trying to speak over the pounding loud music. you instantly recognize the body language between the two of them.

“uh, wrong. that girl is trying to make a move, and megan is in fight or flight.” you laugh, taking a sip from your drink. “except she’s doing neither, and instead she’s freezing.”

“okay, whatever, no more national geographic. let’s go get drunk,” lara grins devilishly, snaking an arm around your waist before she pulls you over towards a circle where daniela is holding some frat boy friend of hers hostage and getting him to drive the boat as she screams in laughter.

you’re still worried about baby megan though, until you see the familiar figure of her tutor slipping out the door, the ginger following soon after. you give them a few moments but they don’t come back in together. either megan will have a lot to share tomorrow morning, or you’ll have a lot for lara to ask about.

daniela comes around to everyone in the circle, pouring shots out into each of their mouths from the bottle of hennessy she’s got gripped. you laugh at the antics of the team captain. lara pulls you closer and you’re transfixed by the smell of her perfume, the softness of her hair on your bare shoulders as she anchors you close to her to dance.

you don’t mind getting lost in her, maybe this once.

you’re not sure how much time has passed of you two dancing, locked in your own little world, before dani is pouring shots out again, clearly trying to get rid of whatever of the bottle is left.

“where’s the baby?” dani asks as she gets to lara, pouring the shot and assessing the room around her.

“i saw her going outside like a half hour ago. hasn’t come back,” you inform her.

lara swallows down the shot and makes quick work of pulling out her phone, never once letting go of your waist. “it looks like she’s walking back from campus.”

you do the math. 20 minute walk to campus, she left 30 mins ago and is already heading back to you guys. 10 minutes with tutor girl? maybe you won’t ask her about what she got up to tonight or why she was gone. you guys chat a little longer before the ginger in question pops back in through the door, making her way to you guys with a frazzled expression.

“hi puppy dog,” lara welcomes her back, teasing grin on her face. “how was it?”

megan shakes her head, clearly disoriented. “i don’t even know any more.”

“i know how to fix it,” daniela reassures her, before dragging out a table in the middle of the circle you guys are in and dragging a few randoms to surround it. she lifts up the empty hennessy bottle before placing it on its side flat on the table. she cheers, stealing a cup from the girl next to her and downing its contents in one easy go. “spin that fuckin’ bottle, baby!”

lara laughs and holds her cup up to yours. your buzz has already set in, and you want to be coherent to get you all home that night, but one quick knock back won’t kill you. you grimace as you tap cups with her but swallow it down. daniela grins and cheers' her own cup against megan’s forehead (much to the younger girl’s displeasure) before screaming loudly about how the game is about to start.

lara is laughing along with you at dani’s antics. “she gives the hockey players such a bad fucking rep.”

for a split second, you second guess not inviting daniela to the wedding– if all went south, dani would know exactly how to create an incredible distraction as you ran away.

but instead, you have to be brave and face it head on.

with lara, you remember, and your chest loosens at the thought. you’re grateful it gets to be with her at your side.

“hanni pham, meet baby megs,” daniela beams, and you realize the bottle is pointing directly at your adopted ginger daughter. lara can’t stop laughing, and you get it– megan looks like she’s about to shit herself.

hanni, a cheerleader who you met in your communications class, seems to love the hollering of the circle as she struts over and plants a quick peck on the corner of megan’s mouth. dani is screaming at the top of her lungs for her to do more, but megan’s strong hands keep a polite placement on her shoulders to distance the two of them.

“thank you, um for that, but i’m good for the night,” the ginger wrinkles her nose sheepishly. “gonna go wait in the car.”

“another boundary,” lara emphasizes, turning to you, and the both of you laugh.

“our baby girl is so, so grown up,” you fake-cry, slipping a hand into the furthest pocket of her jacket. she pulls you in closer and the two of you realize each time you say something to each other, you miss what happens in the outside world. how beautiful to get to disappear away from it all with just a look.

the group is staring expectantly at you as you realize daniela’s on the couch, the swedish exchange student from your calculus class perched comfortably on her lap, the two of them oblivious to the world through their frenzied make out. you were next in line, thus it now being your turn.

you comply nervously, terrified to get paired with some gross stranger, but lara, perfect, confident lara, off one too many shots, reaches down to stop it with her thumb, causing it to land on her. you hear some groans, but a majority of the people in the group cheer you on, chanting your name as lara turns to face you, not once letting go of her grip on you.

your throat goes dry at the look she gives you. her dark eyes twinkling, her beautiful rich skin, shining from the heat of the party and the alcohol running through both of your veins.

“come here baby,” she beckons, smiling widely at you, bringing the hand not on your waist up to your neck. your skin tingles at the contact. “been wanting to kiss you all night, you’re so pretty.”

you have two choices: push back and make an excuse, or commit. and with all the bravery in the world, the bravery that perfect lara raj gives you, you’re able to push past the what-if’s and let yourself crash into her.

the kiss, tasting softly of lara’s gum and the drinks you’ve shared, is electrifying. you’ve never once allowed yourself to wander that far into imagining what kissing lara would be like, and you’re almost grateful. nothing could compare to how perfect kissing perfect, incredible lara raj would be. she’s confident and assertive, letting her tongue brush against your lower lip, your mind going absolutely blank as she tightens her grip on your waist.

“how was that?” she asks with a grin, and the rest of the world is lost to you guys once more.

“how do you think it was?” you ask back breathlessly, unable to form words beyond that.

“perfect,” she whispers, the smile she has threatening to split her mouth.

“okay,” you breathe. you can still feel the tingle of her lips on yours.

you don’t mention it once the hour is late and megan is dragging a half-slumped daniela into the car with you guys while lara offers a ride to meg’s crush’s little roommates. you don’t say a word about it as lara drops belle and minji off, then presses a kiss to your temple when she drops you and megan off at your building, insisting she can keep daniela in her room to keep an eye on her. you fall back into your bed after a quick shower, the feeling still lingering.

the end is near, and you know it. you decide you won’t think about it, and fall asleep.

you wake up to a knock on the door. you rise with a slight headache, letting out a quiet groan, before you peek out the peephole and recognize a flash of bright orange hair.

“can you help me?” megan asks fervently as you let her in. she holds up various materials: paper, pens, an envelope, and a bright red ticket. “i want to make something for someone, but i feel so fucking lost as to where to start.”

“you want to invite her to the game tonight?” you ask, connecting the dots.

“yes,” her eyes light up. “i’m giving her my spare ticket. front row, so she can see us.”

“the one you think you’re in love with?” you smile, loving the enthusiasm.

“i think i want to say something, or at least try.” megan nods, confidently for the first time since you’ve known her, and drops her voice into a sigh. “you don’t know how special it is to feel seen for yourself.”

“oh, i do,” you breathe, memories of the past two weeks taking over your head. you rub a reassuring circle into her back as she parks herself at your desk. you head over to the bathroom to take down your hair and start your morning routine. “say what you feel. i’ll stay with you if you’re nervous.”

“your sister’s wedding is tomorrow, right?” megan clarifies, looking up from the desk. “what happens after that? between you and lar.”

you feel a pang in your stomach. 24 hours left in your little charade, and now, you don’t know how to untangle everything you’ve intertwined with her. you feel your smile threaten to fall, but you try to put on a brave front for the concerned younger girl. “don’t worry about that. focus on you.”

“i don’t think you should end it so fast,” she responds, her eyes softening. you hate the way her puppy dog eyes pierce straight into your heart. “you guys have something really amazing there.”

“it’s not real,” you remind her.

“looks pretty real to me,” she tells you back simply, and it lingers with you. you shake it off and approach her to start braiding her hair for the game.

lara has to do follow-up interviews with dani and the team following their championship win, and she promises to make it on the first flight out to your hometown. you’re kind of grateful she misses the rehearsal dinner, since manon does nothing but gush about how beautifully in love you and lara is and how she’s certain you guys will be doing this in no time. jordan, suspicious of you until manon opens her mouth, simply presses a kiss into your temple.

“happy you’re happy, sis. maybe the quiet ones do win every once in a while.”

lara stays at a hotel instead of with you and your parents in order to give you guys somewhere to drop the act. you find it increasingly difficult to remember what it used to be like before the touches, before the embraces, before falling asleep together every night.

she looks so beautiful in her incredible dress and your dad can’t stop gushing over what a peach she is. your step-mom, who never approves of anything you do, doesn’t look completely unimpressed by the gorgeous date you’re seated with. you’ll take it as a win.

the ceremony goes off without a hitch, and you make it to the reception dinner in one piece. halfway through the night without incident is a huge win. and lara, perfect, charming lara, is making friends with every person she introduces herself to, a cheeky compliment for every aunt of yours in their sunday best or every cousin asking suspiciously if you’re actually together. she finds the perfect balance of affection, not too much to be overdoing it, but just enough to keep you feeling calmed throughout the night.

“you play hockey with y/n?” your stepmom asks as she and your dad join you at the table with lara and manon as you all eat. you bite back a groan, considering you’ve explained a million times that you don’t play, just help treat the players.

“i play goalie, yes,” lara smiles good-naturedly. “y/n basically is there to patch us up after every game. contact sports can take quite the toll on the body.”

“what do you want to do with hockey?” your dad asks curiously. you can see your sister and your new brother-in-law dancing like idiots behind him on the dancefloor and let out a content sigh. somehow, lara is carrying herself without a single bit of help needed, and it soothes your anxious nerves.

“reminisce about it fondly when i’m old and grey,” lara laughs. “i just finished this sophomore season, so i’ve got two more seasons playing collegiate, and that’s it for me and hockey. after i graduate, i’m going to do a fellowship with a clinic.”

“physical therapy, like y/n?” manon asks curiously.

“marriage and family therapy. i want to be a therapist. i would love to work with student athletes.”

“no way,” you breathe quietly. how has lara never mentioned this? she had started school as a business major.

“my friends have a hard time balancing school and sports and some of them are really hurting over it. i’ve always been lucky enough to have good grades.”

“nobody should ever have to pick something they love over their wellbeing,” your step-mom says to no-one in particular, and you swear there’s something like approval in her eyes.

“lara is an extremely nurturing person,” you tell your dad in particular. “i think she’ll make a huge impact in whatever she does.”

“well, miss raj, i hope y/n doesn’t hide you away from us any more. i’d love to see you around more often,” he smiles, and you two exchange a glance.

“that’s up to y/n, isn’t it?” she asks, something twinkling in her eyes.

“i’m certainly thinking about it,” you smile back. the night is won.

you come back with her to her hotel room so you can celebrate the victory in peace, without worrying about your family overhearing.

“did i kill it, or did i destroy it?” she beams excitedly, kicking her heels off as she swipes one of the shots from the minibar in the fridge. “that went so fucking smooth.”

“you were perfect.” you could cry. perfect, angelic lara raj, making the impossible happen. a weight is lifted off your shoulders.

“i told you parents really like me,” she beams brightly, swooping you up in both arms to snake her arms around your waist and pull you in to a hug.

“everyone really likes you,” you laugh, pushing her back, but her arms stay locked around you. you could push again, but you don’t want to.

she’s never held you like this, behind closed doors. you don’t know what possesses you to let her. memories of your kiss from spin the bottle race through your mind. you feel your mouth go dry as you realize what your body is seeking– it wants to kiss her again.

“all that matters is what you think about me,” she tells you.

you simply hum in response, feeling her hands trace lower on your hips.

“hey, y/n,” she whispers into your ear, the warm breath sending a shiver down your spine. “remember how when this all started, you wanted me to tell you if things ever got too blurry?”

you nod, your words caught in your throat. you barely manage to get anything out. “it’s over now, don’t worry.”

“that’s the issue. it’s supposed to be over, but…” she trails off, her fingers tracing circles into your back. she looks away, but you feel a sudden wave of bravery take over you, and you reach around her neck to trace gentle lines into her nape. her eyes come back to you, dark and hooded.

“tell me,” you press gently, and the room feels like it might collapse in on you both.

“lines are a little blurry,” lara breathes.

“i think i’m okay with that, if you are,” you whisper back.

“you already know what i think,” lara says, almost as an accusation. but then she’s reaching for the zipper on the back of your dress, eyes flickering to you as if to ask for permission.

you push past your own thoughts and let yourself capture her lips with your own, an answer to her question. you won’t overthink it, not this time.

you wake to an empty bed, the smell of lara’s skin still lingering on the sheets. you inhale deeply as you try to hear for the shower in the bathroom, maybe her voice if she’s in the hallway on the phone. but as you hear nothing, you sit up, and realize lara’s belongings are all completely gone. she left without letting you know? after all that? you can’t wrap your head around a viable explanation, so you reach for your phone. among the texts from your friends and family, you see lara’s contact, a text from 30 minutes ago.

changed my flight. i added late check out so don’t worry about overstaying. we can talk when you’re back on campus. be safe.

you see the next notification.

6 missed calls.

all from felix.

you feel your heart sink. lara has always been a light sleeper, first to rise at the slightest noise. you can only imagine what she must’ve felt seeing his contact pop up over and over, so insistently, as if he’s even entitled to your attention any more. your heart aches at the thought of lara’s confusion.

(that’s not to even touch on your own confusion– where does all this leave the two of you?)

you call her immediately.

“lara,” you say, and it’s like a warning and a question all in one. “i haven’t talked to him since the breakup. i don’t know what he wants, and i don’t care.”

the line is silent for a moment, and you’re caught off guard. you can hear the airport PA system from behind her, but you’re more surprised at how quiet she is. lara, confident and forward, always has something thoughtful and ready to say, forever the model of composure. she finally lets something out, and you feel your heart break all over again.

“i know you, y/n, and i wasn’t ready to hear you tell me it was over.” she confesses, and her voice sounds so, so painful over the phone. you wish you could wrap her in your arms then and there. “i got lost in it, i know i did, maybe it was selfish because you just got out of something serious, and i wanted you to myself.”

“lar, i’m sorry. what are you thinking right now?” you ask, but you quickly realize it’s the wrong question. her tone changes quickly, faster now, almost insistent.

“no, y/n, please stop. you do this thing, where you won’t give a clear answer. you’ll just ask questions and put all the options out on the table and let people draw their own conclusions.”

“here’s my clear answer,” lara continues. “you are my favorite person on this planet, and i’m so serious about that. so i want to hear it from your mouth. i want to hear what you pick, no bullshit, no yielding to let me make the final choice. with a super clear head, i want you to pick me, or not pick me, knowing all the facts and hearing me say it first. you need to have the final say in something for your life.”

you’re in complete shock, staring into the mirror as she presses forward, her voice firm over the hum of the phone.

“i won’t hate you, if you don’t pick me,” she tells you, voice softening, always the reassuring one. “but i wanted to make sure you knew that i’d pick you if it came down to it, and i’ll be waiting patiently for you to pick me. just how i always have.”

“lar…”

“think about it,” is all she says, before the line goes dead, and you’re left alone with your thoughts.

the airport makes you sick to your stomach and all you want to do is just talk to lara, but you know she deserves more thought than just your anxious impulse. a clear head, and no hesitation. you owe it to lara.

a day of traveling later, and you’ve dragged your bags with you to the hockey rink. megan, yunjin, and dani are all there, taking practice shots into the net even though the season won’t start up again until the fall time.

you see lara’s gear on the bench, but she’s nowhere on the ice to be seen. you hunt a little further to see her in the very top nosebleed seats of the stadium, watching the three practice intensely. you don’t hesitate before racing up the seats, and your stomach drops as she locks eyes on you. her eyes are distant, cold even, but you can’t blame her. she deserves answers.

“i need to tell you something,” you press, sitting down in the seat next to her.

she lets out a quiet breath and turns to face you. you reach out, holding her face in your hands, and your heart aches. she is so impossibly perfect. the truth, as much as it terrifies you, is the least she deserves.

“that night, our kiss, the past two weeks, it meant everything to me,” you admit, your voice shaky. “maybe i’m worried that i’ll lose you as a friend, if we take this leap, but we tried on these hats and it was honestly the most perfect experience ever. and you are so, so perfect, it would be impossible to not want to be with you, and i’m sorry i was such a coward about what i asked of you without acknowledging what it meant for us. it was unfair and it was confusing.”

her eyes warm, but you drop your hands. you have something more to add, the part she truly does deserve, and the part you’ve been too afraid to confront. you continue, your heart threatening to leap out of your chest.

“i need to choose myself, for just a little bit. i’m not going to ask if that’s okay, because i know you’d tell me it is even if it isn’t,” you tell her, and she laughs quietly in response. you take it as the encouragement you need to keep going. “i'm going to be alone for a little bit, i won’t go back to my ex, i won’t find someone new, i just need to be alone to figure some things out, and i’m going to tell you to go do your thing and not wait up for me. if we can be friends through it, that would be amazing, but if not, i won’t hate you either.”

you drop your head slightly to meet her gaze. she’s looking up at you with something in between heartache and pride, and you know exactly how she feels. there’s something painfully bittersweet about the moment.

“i need just a little time to learn how to be a better me, and then it’ll be my turn to come ask you to pick me,” you whisper, tracing your finger across her lips, your favorite lips, before resting your hand on her cheek once more. “and i’ll be okay if you don’t pick me, or if by then you’ve picked someone else.”

“i’m proud of you for this,” she says simply, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you into a hug.

you feel hot tears pricking at your eyes, but you manage to smile at her anyways. the end of one chapter, the start of another, you can only hope.

your dad has asked about lara every single time you call for the past few months, and you simply navigate around the question with expert precision. you can’t tell him everything, but you can tell him parts of the truth.

we get to see each other every day. we’re still the team moms. daniela still conspires to make us get married. we’re going to see each other over the summer once the semester ends.

you won’t tell him about how your sleepovers have stopped, and you guys haven’t been alone together in a room since the day after the wedding. she’s still so, so nice to you, but there’s a boundary now.

it’s not awkward, as much as you know things could have ended in disaster. perfect, generous lara raj, who’s always put your friendship ahead of whatever feelings have come up for her, doesn’t flirt with you any more, but still makes an effort to make you feel seen.

manon, who you got so close to that she moved in as your dorm roommate, is shockingly understanding as you come clean and tell her everything. nobody makes the dissolution of your fake relationship weird, and your family is none the wiser. you come out relatively unscathed from the whole thing, the only casualty being you and lara. your friendship is different, you guys aren’t as close, but that’s okay, because she’s still in your life, and that in itself is more than enough.

except for tonight, two weeks before finals, where you decide it’s the night to put into practice all the growing you’ve done to stop being so scared of the what-if’s. it’s your turn to be confident and brave, and let the potential win outweigh the risks.

you feel your stomach lurch as you call her, the starting part of your plan. you guys don’t do this any more, the late night phone calls, so you’re half expecting to have to pivot to a plan b, but she answers by the second ring.

“y/n,” she says simply, and you feel your stomach flip at how genuinely excited she sounds. what an angel.

“hi,” you breathe. “um, just curious about your plans tonight.”

“what’s up?” she asks, half-curious, half-suspicious in her tone.

“are you free?” you ask again.

“for you?” she asks, and you half-expect her to turn you down then and there. but she doesn’t and her soft tone makes your heart thud. “always.”

“no, don’t start,” you wrinkle your nose. “i’m supposed to be the one trying to charm you.”

“charm me? why?” she asks, and you can practically hear the smirk on her lips. ugh, it was almost easier when you guys were back to being just friends. you wouldn’t get this flustered this easily.

“i want to see you when i say it.” you shake your head, feeling the familiar flush that lara leaves you with. “damn, you’re throwing me off. ugh, lara, okay just, come to your car.”

“my car?”

“i have your keys, before you freak out. dani helped me. so just come to the car and be patient.”

you hang up, and you wait eagerly. grand gestures aren’t your thing, but they’re lara’s, so you figure she deserves something that reflects how well you know her.

she arrives, and you can’t suppress your smile as she takes it all in. her car, filled to the brim with pink balloons, three different bouquets of flowers in the passenger’s seat. you’ve decorated it with pictures of the two of you from your years of friendship, including countless of candids taken by the girls of the two of you together. on the dashboard, you have a giant, handwritten sign with pictures of lara’s face, and in big bold letters: #17, GO OUT WITH ME?

her eyes are wide, and you wonder if you’ve maybe gone too far with everything. in the months since the wedding, you guys have stayed friends, sure, but maybe you misread her? maybe this wasn’t the grand gesture you thought it would be?

“y/n…” lara starts, before offering you an apologetic furrow of her brows. “i have a girlfriend.”

you feel your stomach sink. you’ve deleted your instagram since all this happened, and you and lara don’t talk about those kinds of things any more, plus megan was so heartbroken about you guys not ending up together, it’s super possible she didn’t want to mention the new relationship to you. plus plus, daniela’s terrible with secrets, so why would she help you with this whole thing in the first place, but she can absolutely show up when she needs to– damn. your shot disappears in front of your very eyes.

“oh my god, lar, i’m so sorry. i um–” you stammer.

she’s staring at you with those dark eyes, before a stupid grin takes over her stern features. “hah! see, told you you should have jumped on me sooner.”

you feel your eyes nearly bug out of your head. oh my god.

“what do you think i’m going to say to you right now?” you nearly growl, your heart still pounding at the near miss.

lara screams laughing, nearly doubling over as she pokes a finger into your cheek. your skin jumps at the contact. “hopefully you’ll say, kiss me and be mine, no more waiting.”

you sigh and take her face in both hands, emboldened by your new outlook on life. no more being afraid.

“lara raj, i’m sorry for making you wait. thank you for being so, so perfect, and letting me be ready for you. i’d like to love you for a really long time, if that’s–” you pause, realizing you were about to ask for her permission.

you clear your throat and look her directly in the eyes. “you better let me love you until the earth blows up.”

“i like that so much better than what i thought you’d up with,” she beams brightly, opening the door to he car and sitting in the drivers seat, motioning for you to come towards her.

“i bet you do,” you laugh, letting her pull you into her lap.

“told you we’d fall in love eventually,” she grins cheekily.

you sigh and press a fingertip against her nose. “actually, i was in love with you way before all this. just needed to figure some things out.”

for the first time since you’ve known her, lara raj is speechless.

“got your fine ass,” you grin, before you lean in. “now that you’ve shut up, i’m going to kiss you.”

“you were so, so worth the wait,” she whispers, and you let yourself believe her. the girl of your dreams, perfect and confident lara raj, and she’s finally yours.

#lara raj x reader #lara raj #katseye x reader #lara raj imagine #lara x reader #katseye #katseye lara #☆ﾟ coolwyous works.#☆ﾟ coolwyous - sweet like bubblegum.

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spiderb00 · 7 months ago

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Clueless - Daniela Avanzini

Daniela Avanzini X reader

Synopsis: You were surprised to see, that a woman like that would really be into you.

Genre: Fluff

a/n: I think I'm going to write for other people outside of Katseye, I don't know, I'm experimenting. But while that doesn't happen, I had this plot idea with Daniela.

Maybe I made a mistake in writing, I'm too lazy to revise. <3

You met Dani a few weeks ago, it wasn't planned, but it ended up happening. The agreement was that you would stop by the Kats' house to pick up Megan, a mutual friend of yours, Kylie Cantrall, had asked the two of you to hang out.

It turns out that Megan wasn't ready when you arrived, so while you were on the couch, fiddling with your phone, a voice took your attention away.

"Uh, hello?" when you looked up your mind tied a knot. Sure, you'd already seen Daniela in Katseye's MV, but damn, She looked prettier up close.

"Hi, I'm Yn, sorry, I'm just waiting for Megan." You said, trying not to look like an idiot.

"Oh sure, Yn, Megan talks a lot about you. I'm Daniela." She says shaking your hand. It could be something in your head, but she had looked you up and down, she seemed to be checking on you.

"So, are you and Megan something more or what?" Daniela says biting her lower lip. Her head was racing, how could she be so incredibly hot?

"What? No, we're just good friends." you say, your voice faltering.

"Good to know." She says as she looks at you.

Your head doesn't have time to process what she said, because Megan had just appeared in the room, dragging you out and saying goodbye to Daniela.

Your other opportunity to meet Daniela was when you and Megan got together for a sleepover. The orange-haired girl proposed that you spend the night right after a party. And as it seemed too dangerous to return home at that time, you accepted the invitation.

So there you were, coming out of the bathroom in sweatpants and a spider-man t-shirt, courtesy of the changes of clothes you leave in your car. When you opened the door, Daniela was there, in all her glory, leaning against the doorframe. And you could drool in her pajamas, even if it was just a big sweatshirt and short shorts.

"Wow, I must have done something really good to get the universe to leave you in my bathroom." If it came from anyone else, you'd think it's extremely stupid, but when it comes out of Daniela's mouth, it sounds like the most beautiful poem.

"Hi Dani, I'm sorry, if I had known you wanted to use the bathroom I would have been quicker." You said, thanking the heavens that your mind was able to formulate a sentence.

"It's okay, the wait was worth it, you're cute in your pajamas." She said as she fiddled with the collar of her T-shirt.

Goosebumps running through your body, your short-circuited brain can't formulate anything, but you can hear a giggle from Dani in the background, followed by the bathroom door closing.

You've always been interested in music, and when Lara said she needed a guitar riff for a production she was working on, you immediately offered to help her.

So now while Lara was getting some snacks in the kitchen you were in her room working on the riff you would make, so concentrated that you didn't hear Daniela's footsteps getting closer and closer.

"I didn't think you could get hotter, but I underestimated you." she said, a smile on her face when she saw you jump slightly in fright.

"Dani, I didn't know you were there." You said, nervous hands scratching the back of your neck.

"How long have you been playing guitar?" she asks sitting next to him, in the chair where Lara used to be occupied.

"Since I was a child. I've always loved music, so I kind of love all of it." You said, your eyes traveling between Daniela, your guitar and Lara's things.

"This is so cool, I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar, maybe you can teach me one day." Daniela says, her gaze never averting from you, making you more nervous.

"Of course, I'd love to hear you sing too, you have a very beautiful voice."

Daniela smiles when you look at her, the two of you in silence. Her intense looks seemed to mean something, something you didn't know.

"You're very pretty," Daniela says, her eyes moving from your mouth back to your eyes.

"What? Have you seen yourself? You're one of the prettiest girls I know, Dani."

Again, she doesn't say anything, her big brown eyes staring at you. It seemed that with every second she became more beautiful, How is this possible?

The exchange of glances was interrupted when Lara entered the room, her hand full of snacks and red bull, the perfect combination for hours of work.

"Dani, I love you, but it's not time to make your move, we have a lot to work on.

Lara said, shooing a half-dazed Daniela out of her chair.

What did you mean by "making your move"?

By this time your friendship with the Kats was much stronger, you loved those girls, but you were still confused by Dani's advances, you kept telling yourself that this should be her way, just a relaxed way to play with your friends. Yes, that was it, you knew friends who flirted, it's okay.

Man, you couldn't be more wrong.

It was Lara's birthday, everyone was having fun at the surprise party that Lara's girlfriend ;) prepared. Everything seemed calm, you even started flirting with a girl, one of Lara's friends, you were talking and laughing here and there, to be honest you didn't have much in common, but it wouldn't hurt to exchange a few words.

Everything seemed right, until you felt footsteps approaching.

"Excuse me, I can talk to Yn a second, thank you." Daniela pulled you without waiting for answers from the girl you were talking to, and soon you found yourself locked inside one of the rooms of the house.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Daniela screamed, you were surprised, of course. Why was this extremely beautiful and hot girl yelling at you?

"What? What did I do?" You said, your shoulders slumping as you waited for an explanation from the Latina in front of you.

"You were letting that girl flirt with you!" The Latina looked furious and disappointed, you just didn't understand why.

"Dani, it's okay, why are you so mad about this?"

“’CAUSE IT SHOULD BE ME!"

When the curly-haired girl screamed you weren't sure anything, you weren't sure if you had heard it right, you weren't sure if they were talking about the same thing. Damn, you weren't even sure if she was yelling at the right person.

"What... What does that mean?"

"It means I like you." Daniela sits on the bed, looking defeated.

"I've liked you since the day I met you, every moment we spend together, every moment we're interrupted by someone, all those moments, I just wish I could say I like you. But it looks like you're so dumb-"

"Hey!" You interrupted.

"I flirted with you, I tried to impress you, I tried to get us to spend more time together, but nothing worked." Daniela said, her voice growing with each word, making the Latina get up from the bed, making her gaze travel from the floor to you, only to see you wide-eyed, like a deer caught in the headlights.

"You're so oblivious to everything around you, I just wanted you to ask me out, idiot! I didn't want to spend another minute without you holding my hand or kissing me. And all I've done, for all these months is send you signals, that you clearly don't understand why you're-"

Suddenly the room was silent again, Daniela's complaints fading as her hands wrapped around your hair, if it was you she wanted, then she would have it.

Your hands pulled her waist closer, so close that it felt like the two of you could enter each other's bodies. All the stored desire now completely exposed in the kiss you shared, Daniela seemed to melt in your hands and when you least expected it you were kissing desperately and walking to bed.

When your knees bent and you fell on the bed, you could feel Daniela's legs on either side of your body, the feeling was invigorating, you both seemed to have been waiting for this forever, Daniela knows better. Then, when the breath started to go away, you moved away, Daniela resting her hands on your abdomen, looking at you with heart eyes.

"I'm not very good at understanding tips, for me it was just a joke." you said, being the first to break the silence.

"I gave you all the signs I could." The curly-haired girl said as she rolled her eyes and smiled at you.

"yes, but how was I going to know that a woman like that was really into me." You said, as you sat still with her on your lap, stealing a quick kiss from the Latina.

"Well, now you know, what are you going to do about it?" She said as she wrapped her arms around your neck.

"I'm going to go on a date with the hottest girl in the world."

#gxg #sapphic #wlw #wlw post #pretty girls #kpop gg #katseye x reader #daniela x reader #daniela avanzini x reader #daniela avanzini #katseye #katseye imagines #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios

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kkoga · 3 months ago

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Pretty eyes, jeung yoonchae x IVE!fem!reader

A/N : this is my own little valentine special, so sorry it's a bit late. Had to work my ass off for the collab, and js so yk i also have a dani angst fic in the works so def watch out for that one

Warning ! Mentions of homophobia, foul words, definitely NOT proofread

Disclaimer ! Everything written is pure fiction. No person is an accurate representation of themselves.

Now playing ! Pretty eyes by zehdi

Wc — i don't know ok. I pulled this out my ass. Its not even valentines anymore. It was supposed to be a val special. Watch me jump off the cliff.

Divider creds : @steviebbboi

Yoonchae hesitantly holds hands with Y/n. Even though they were holding hands below the table, it was still incredibly risky. Considering the fact that both girls were idols, and from different groups no less, would completely destroy their career.

Yoonchae hated this. The korean hated the hiding, the concealing. She wants to show off her girlfriend to the world, to shout and tell them the one and only person she loved was none other than Y/n L/n.

But the Korean knew she had no choice. Gay people were gravely frowned upon in Korea. The girl doesn't even know whether or not her own parents would support her.

Y/n was even more popular than Yoonchae. The girl was a member of the famous girlgroup IVE, a group every junior admired.

The two had initially met at an award show. Y/n, ever so confident, approached the Korean first. Yoonchae was incredibly shy at first, thinking, "There is no way Y/n of IVE is talking to me right now."

But after a couple weeks, the two girls had grown close. Too close, for Yoonchae's liking. After a few months, Yoonchae noticed her heartbeat was too fast around the girl, her words almost always getting jumbled up whenever within the vicinity of her bestfriend. It was pathetic, really. Y/n never let's her live it down.

Yoonchae had a feeling she knew why she felt that way, but growing up in a traditional house, the girl tried convincing herself it wasn't true. She had nothing against gay people of course, but the internalised homophobia the Korean had to grow up with was starting to hit her hard.

Yoonchae ran to an old friend for help, who had calmly asked her two questions.

"Alright, let me ask you two questions. Would the world end if you came out as gay?" Yoonchae was weirded out by the question.

"What? That doesn't even make sense.." Her friend sighed.

"I didn't mean it literally, Yoons. I meant would it feel like your world was ending?" Yoonchae almost immediately answered.

"But my— my parents wouldn't... and the public, good god, my fans. I can't be—" Her friend then interrupted her.

"Now imagine Y/n with someone else. Someone who most definitely isn't you. Would you be able to bear that? Does that seem like it's worse than your world 'ending'?" Yoonchae paused, her expression filled with every negative emotion possible. Anger, sadness, and confusion were all neatly displayed on her face.

".... yes." Her friend smiled, content with Yoonchae's answer.

"There's your answer."

After the conversation, Yoonchae had taken a day off. To think about herself, and her feelings. It was definitely a big thing to process, the fact that she had apparently never liked men. The Korean had always questioned where the "spark" her friends always mentioned was. But now that she had thought about it, the girl now knew why.

It took a while, but eventually, Yoonchae had finally accepted herself for who she was. However, the Korean still come out to her members. She wasn't ready yet.

But now, after successfully confessing to Y/n and having been together for the past two years, the Korean finally considered herself ready.

And today, she was going to ask Y/n if she would like to meet her members. Not as a friend, but as her partner, as the love of her life.

As Yoonchae got in Y/n's newly acquired car, one she got right after earning her license, the Korean took it as a good time to ask.

"Y/n? Can i ask you something?" The girl was nervous. What if she said no?

"Yes Yoons? What's up?"

"I.. i want to introduce you. To my members, I mean." Y/n was shocked, but excited. Extremely excited.

"Really?"

"Really. I'm ready, Y/n. I want them to know I have a beautiful wonderful girlfriend who takes care of me every single day." Y/n, so enamoured by Yoonchae's braveness, leans over for an excited and cheeky kiss.

"Love you soo much Yoon!"

Yoonchae warmly smiles, "Love you too hun."

It was finally the day. Today, Y/n was going to introduce herself to Yoonchae's members as her girlfriend. Well, not immediately, but eventually.

Yoonchae had carefully planned out the afternoon. First, she would get her members to warm up to Y/n. Then during dinner, finally tell them something— or rather someone she's been keeping a secret for far too long.

Y/n nervously rings the doorbell, adjusting her collar just before Manon, one of Yoonchae's bandmates, answer the door.

"Hey girl so nice to meet you, Yoonchae's friend right?" Y/n nods, and returns Manon's smile.

"Come in girl, she's like in her room right now." Y/n hesitantly walks into the house and is met with Megan and Daniela on the couch, Sophia and Lara apparently in the kitchen, and Yoonchae exiting her room.

"Y/n! Hi! Sorry, I had to grab my switch. Let's play now." Yoonchae shot Y/n a cheeky smile, one she undoubtedly fell for.

"Oh you are going DOWN! Also hi, nice to meet you guys." Megan and Daniela sweetly greet the girl, finding the difference of her demeanour with them and Yoonchae silly.

It has been four hours since you and Yoonchae have started playing on her switch, the game projected on the TV. An hour in, Megan and Lara had joined you and Yoonchae's games of Mario Cart.

Yoonchae couldn't help the warm smile slowly creep up her face. It was nice. Seeing you interact with her members was just so— natural.

Sophia and Lara were peacefully sat on the couch, Manon taking pictures in the corner of the livingroom. It was as if Y/n was already a part of them, a part of their little family. And Yoonchae loved it.

By now, it was already dark outside. Dinnertime was approaching, and Yoonchae had to prepare herself. They liked her so far, nothing bad is gonna happen.

As they all ate on the dinner table, Manon started a conversation.

"I still can't believe you're friends with Y/n from IVE Yoonchae, How did you guys even meet?" The couple looked at each other, a cheeky smile on both their faces.

"Oh, we met because of a common friend. That's all." Manon nodded in response, and Lara looked at Yoonchae and Y/n a little suspiciously.

As they all finished off their food, Yoonchae had very suddenly asked them all to sit on the couch, which confused her members. But they obeyed nonetheless, curious as to what their maknae had to say.

They all lined up on the couch in order, Manon, Daniela, Lara, Megan, and Sophia. While Yoonchae and Y/n stood in front of the five.

"I just wanted to say..." Yoonchae said as she held your hand, doing so in a romantic manner. Lara's eyes shot up, as if saying "I FUCKING KNEW IT!"

"I'm dating Y/n. I like girls. The whole point of today was to get you all to warm up to her." Yoonchae wasn't sure how her members would react, but she was pretty sure at least Megan and Manon were gay, so it wouldn't be that bad.

Barrages of questions were shot from Daniela and Manon's mouth, and Lara asking for her 10 dollars from Megan could be heard too. But all Sophia did was send the couple a warm smile. The leader kindly asked them all to shut the fuck up, and after the rest did as she said, she calmly and proudly told the couple.

"I'm proud. Thank you both for trusting us, and congrats on your relationship. You don't have to give us all the information about your relationship now— you can do that as the night progresses. Let's just enjoy the night, yeah? You should sleep over Y/n." Yoonchae teared up, and Y/n did too, thankful the Katz were accepting.

Yoonchae leaned in to Y/n's ear, and whispered, "Love you." Y/n giggled like a little kid, and gave her a little cheek kiss, which resulted in reactions from the rest of Katseye.

#kkoga #katseye x reader #katseye #katseye x female reader #katseye smau #yoonchae #yoonchae x reader #yoonchae jeung #yoonchae katseye #katseye yoonchae #katseye x fem reader #katseye x y/n #katseye imagines #valentinesgift #happy valentines #happy valentine's day #valentine special

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takumiraine · 5 months ago

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Once upon a time chapter 11

Teaching children is so draining. Is it Christmas break yet????

The ride to Danny’s apartment building was uneventful, even though Danny was still positively radiating anxiety.

“How long do you think it’ll take them to realize they’ve been hacked?” He asked, looking over at Tucker.

“They’ve probably already realized it honestly. But none of it can tie back to us really so… hopefully they don’t show up.” Tucker shrugged, giving Danny another pat on the arm. There had been so many of them, and Danny was pretty sure half were just because Tucker knew that he hadn’t been getting much physical contact at all lately.

He hadn’t been living a life of much anything at all lately.

“If we can get me some old Fenton tech and a soldering kit I might be able to put some anti-anti ghost weapons together. I was the one that fixed most of their stuff anyways.” Danny mused, considering what he could feasibly do. “If I could get some of the shield tech and a specter deflector I could theoretically combine them to create a personal shield. Vlad’s shielding is better but I’m not going up to Wisconsin again.”

Danny shuddered in his muttering before going on talking through the possible changes he’d make. Jason looked at Sam and Tucker in the mirror. “Cheese fountain incident?”

“Among other things. Danny and Vlad have never really gotten along. Vlad always had a creepy thing for Danny’s mom and it was just weird.” Tucker explained, looking over at Sam.

“And Vlad kept trying to kill, clone and possibly make genetic babies with Danny. There’s Dani and Dan in the zone somewhere I think. You’d know if you met one of them,” Sam added, while Danny just nodded absently in agreement.

“Sam, are you planning on going home any time soon?” Danny asked, sort of changing the subject.

“No, and even if I was, I’m not sure how I’d get some of your parents failed tech out without them noticing. Jazz said they’re always in the lab now, trying to figure out how to, and I quote, ‘save their precious son from the evil ghost that is possessing him’.”

Danny groaned. “You’d think, after watching me be attacked and changing in front of their eyes, they’d get over this possession bullshit.”

“There’s a point to be made about willful ignorance there,” Sam agreed, “I guess it’s easier to swallow than the truth.”

They parked in front of Danny’s building and the four got out. “If you think your car will be safe here you can come up. But not a word about how I’ve been living. The paranoia is your fault.” Danny scowled up at Jason, and not for the first time Jason found Danny’s willingness to stand up to someone much taller than him endearing.

“Not a word. Scout’s honor.” Jason was never a scout, and he had very little honor left, but he doubted Danny knew either of those things. He sent a quick text to Babs and the car drove itself off.

Danny squinted at it for a minute then muttered, “fucking rich people.” as he led the way into the building and up to his apartment. Jason knew the vague location based off of the fact that Danny ran cold, but seeing the interior in person was different. By no means was the building one of the nicer ones in the alley, but burnt out lights, chipped plaster and missing chunks of stairs gave the building an almost condemned feeling. Danny led the way with the confidence of someone who had lived there a while, and his two friends followed behind with almost equal confidence, trusting Danny would warn them of anything potentially dangerous.

They made it to the third floor without incident, and Danny led the way to the apartment door he had claimed. “I don’t want to hear a word about my apartment.” He warned, looking mostly at Jason. “The protection measures are your fault, and I haven’t had much money to decorate.”

Jason raised an eyebrow at him, but nodded. Danny looked around for a moment, then reached through the door. There was a click of the first lock disengaging then the slide of the chain lock, before Danny pulled his hand back and opened the door. He pushed it open with one hand only for it to swing open through a bed.

That was different.

“One sec.” Danny reached through with his free hand and lifted the bed like he was carrying a tray of dishes, letting the door go as he carried the bed further into the room. There was a soft thud as he set it down, then Danny straightened up and turned to them. “C’mon in. Welcome to my haunt. Lock the door behind you.”

Danny turned and walked into the bathroom, coming out with an armload of blankets which he spread onto the bed. Had he been sleeping in the tub?

Jason followed the other two into the room, and shut the door behind him, latching it obediently. He took in the bare bulb light, the duct tape on the window, the way the bed had been pushed against the door, the lack of any personal touches save for the bedsheets having comets on them.

Danny went into the attached kitchenette area and opened some cabinets. Inside were snacks all bearing the logo of the local discount store. “I don’t have anything fancy, but help yourselves. I could boil some water for tea or something too.” He gestured to the bed, now taking what seems to have been its usual space before all of this. “Sit. Make yourselves at home. It’s all clean.”

“Danny…” Tucker started, looking around at the impersonal space, but Sam nudged him.

“Tea sounds great. Any of your snacks vegan and cruelty free?” Danny seemed to relax at the question.

“I have a couple of fruit leather things.” He reached into the back of the cupboard he was using as a pantry and pulled out a couple sticks of something from one of those “Ivy Approved” stamped boxes. He tossed one at Sam, then offered it to both Tucker and Jason. Tucker shook his head but Jason shrugged and nodded, so he got one tossed at him too. Only then did Danny open a different cupboard and pull out his one pot, dented and dinged on the sides, to fill with tap water.

“I realize I never got your number.” Jason paused, “For tutoring reasons,” he added lamely. Danny laughed somewhat nervously.

“Well I don’t really have one. I mean. I do. Did. But it doesn’t have minutes. It’s why I hung out in the library all the time.” He looked almost embarrassed, a red flush against his pale skin.

“It’s alright.” Jason waved it off, and gave Danny a roguish grin and a wink. “Anyone sketchy enough in this part of town can pass a message to me.”

Danny pauses and ducks his head, busying himself with the tea. The mugs are chipped but everyone is given one. Danny sits himself on the floor by the bed. Jason looks between where Sam and Tucker are sat on the bed and Danny is sat on the floor. He considers for a moment before sitting on the floor near Danny but far enough away that it wouldn’t be infringing on his space.

Danny sighed. “I know you have questions.” He told Jason.

“Yeah. A lot of them. But they aren’t important right now.”

Danny took a sip of his tea. Raised an eyebrow. “Really.” The question was more of a statement and Jason shrugged.

“I trust you’d tell me if I or my city were in any immediate danger.” He was burning with questions. About his pit. What it meant, why Danny had called it a core, what it could do, why it made him so angry. But they weren’t important right now. Danny had had a hell of a week.

“You’re…weird,” Danny conceded. Tucker and Sam sipped at their tea.

“So Jason,” Sam began, smiling through her dark lips, black nails ticking against the ceramic. “Danny is very important to us. If you’ve been in the GIW’s files you know that.”

Jason didn’t know where she was going, but Danny seemed to. He flushed scarlet. “Sam!” He hissed. “Stop it!”

“What are your intentions towards him? I know based on some quick checks that Red Hood is more of an anti-hero than the rest of your colony of batlings.” Tucker seemed to be joining in on this impromptu shovel talk. Jason would think it, and the effect it was having on Danny, was closer to adorable if it wasn’t funny.

Danny, however, was mortified. His face was flaming and he looked like he was about to melt through the floor. “Guys seriously! Ancients, could you be any more embarrassing?!”

Jason was used to inquisitions like this from his own siblings. He gave a smirk and sipped his tea. “Obviously, I plan to seduce him with power and money and recruit him to my cause of overthrowing my father and corrupting the rest of the Bats and Birds.” Jason gave a wolfish grin then. “Turn Danny into the perfect partner in crime.”

Danny made a choked sound and turned to look at him. Jason met his eyes, feeling Danny’s power push at him, and focusing on reading like amusement back. He had no idea if he did it right but Danny seemed to be mollified and rather than argue he smiled ever so slightly into his mug. “I haven’t ever played the villain properly.” He murmured in agreement.

“Danny!” Tucker and Sam exclaimed in perfect unison.

“What? If I’m going to be in trouble with someone either way may as well have fun with it…”

“Danny, man you can’t be serious.” Tucker scolded softly.

Danny just shrugged. “I dunno. New city new me. And if people think I am a villain, may as well lean into it.”

“Danny, don’t make me call your sister. Jazz is going to be mad enough we came to talk you through this crisis without her.” Tucker made a pretty convincing point by the way Danny frowned some, giving up his joke.

“I could. You don’t have to call my sister about it though.” Danny was definitely pouting.

Jason covered his laugh with a drink from his mug. He had heard this conversation multiple ways, and had it a time or two himself. The soft sound that he made, barely a heavy breath of a sound was enough to turn Sam’s eyes toward him again.

“You’re going to keep him out of trouble, right? He’s a trouble magnet. His hero name should have been Jinx, not Phantom for how much bad luck he attracted.”

Jason looked at Danny, and could very clearly read the slight panic there. The implicit message was clear. Don’t mention the stabbing or broken nose.

“He picked the wrong neighborhood then. But yeah, I’ll make sure people know he’s under my protection.” Danny relaxed then, and Sam seemed to too.

“Good. Because I have work in the morning, and Tucker has to go to class on Monday.”

“Ah shit I forgot…” Danny groaned, “I was going to get a book for our Lit class on Monday and I ran into you and Barbara in the library…. And dropped it.”

“Danny…” Sam sighed, like this was a familiar occurrence.

“I’ve got a copy,” Jason offered, “you can come by my place and read the chapters tomorrow if you want. Save you the walk to and from the library.” He wasn’t sure what made him offer so suddenly, but he felt something warm coil in his gut at the relieved look on Danny’s face.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Since it was kind of my fault you dropped it in the first place, it’s the least I can do.”

Danny smiled up at him then. “Thanks. What time…?”

Jason shrugged. “I wasn’t planning on doing anything during the day tomorrow so whenever.”

“Glad to see Danny isn’t floundering through being forgetful on his own here.” Sam’s tone was fond and amused.

“Hey!” Danny protested.

“Sucks that we’ve been replaced by someone taller and richer though.” Tucker added, nodding forlornly at Jason. Danny’s face colored again.

“Not true and you two know it! Ancients, you guys are assholes!” Danny flopped backwards dramatically, throwing his arm over his eyes. Sam and Tucker shared a look before laughing. “I hate you. So much.” Danny kept his arm firmly over his face.

“We love you too, Danny.”

Jason offered to drive Sam and Tucker back to Bludhaven, but Sam had called an uber. Which, really, explained why she kept a bat. Sam also pulled out a baseball from her bag. “So I’m not intentionally carrying it to be a weapon. I like baseball.” Sam explained with a smile that Jason knew already was filled with false innocence.

“So tomorrow.” Danny began, sitting on his bed. Jason looked over at the pause. “What time?”

He shrugged. “I’m probably not going to patrol much tonight, but…. Maybe early afternoon?”

Danny nodded then. “I can do that. You gonna be okay on the walk home?”

Jason nodded, snorting softly. “Did you forget who I am?”

“No, but everyone expects the vigilantes to always be okay. Nobody ever asks if they will.” Jason was touched by Danny’s concern. If anyone else had asked, he would have been rankled, but Danny was different. Maybe because he was coming from a place of isolation with it.

“Well.” Jason started awkwardly, “I’ll be fine. Thanks.”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Goodnight Danny.”

“Night Jason.”

#writing #fanfiction #danny fenton #danny phantom #dc x dp #dpxdc #jason todd #red hood #dead on main #batfam #dp dc crossover

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nakylvr · 4 months ago

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how loud do you think the legal kats are in bed🙂‍↕️

oh lets talk about it anon 😁

sophia is pretty quiet, not to the point where you can't tell if what you're doing is making her feel good or not, but she just doesn't get that loud unless you're really dominant and taking her how you want her, then she can get decently loud where if you're in the house with the kats you'll have to gag her with something so no one realizes. or, put a blindfold or ribbon over her eyes and she'll get louder, more gasps than anything when you go so slow she doesn't know what you're going to do next.

manon can get pretty loud without realizing she is. she's pretty in the middle when it comes down to it, not being super loud but also not being quiet. she can keep quiet when needed or when you tell her to be, cause she's your good girl and will do anything you ask, and she can easily get louder when she wants you to be rougher with her and encourage her to be loud. your name is definitely what falls from her lips the most, especially when she's close to cumming and she can't get anything else out.

dani is by far the loudest. she can't help it. if you even try having sex in the house with the kats you'll have to cover her mouth with your hand, or shove her face in the pillow to keep her quiet. which doesn't really work either way, especially if it's a rough session and she just gets so loud you'll get a noise complaint if at your apartment and scolding from the kats if in the house. but sometimes you'll take the risk of the noise complaint, she just sounds so pretty moaning your name.

lara is also pretty quiet in terms of noises but she is very talkative no matter if she's domming or subbing. it's more her trying to keep you quiet rather than her trying to be quiet. but that doesn't mean she can't get louder at times, and it's mainly when trying new things with you that makes her feel things that she hasn't felt before. during those moments she doesn't notice how loud she's getting until you plant your hand over her mouth to make sure no one hears. otherwise, she's pretty good at staying quiet when she needs to be, she'll just talk a lot to see your flushed face and breathless voice.

megan is a very close second to dani cause she gets loud every time. ever since the first time her body is just so reactive to everything you do that she's whining before you even really touch her. it doesn't matter what you're doing to her, she will always get so loud that you have to shove your fingers in her mouth so that she'll suck on them to keep quiet, and even then some of her whines still come through. you basically can't have sex at the house with the others around cause they will definitely hear, even when she promises she won't be that loud, you both know she's lying. she just can't help it.

#katseye thoughts 💭#nsfw.

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lupinqs · 7 months ago

Text

CHAPTER TEN ━━ Love Was The Law, Religion Was Taught

☆ ━ pairing: hopkins!paige x oc (dani callan)

☆ ━ word count: 5.2K

☆ ━ warnings: sexual content (oral—p receiving, car sex), religious guilt, internalized homophobia

☆ ━ links: my masterlist, take me to church masterlist

☆ ━ author’s note: lowkey realized that i never brought up dani’s mom lol so you figure out what’s happened in this chapter

THINGS HAVE… changed, since that night. Something’s different between them. Not bad, just… different. They’re not dating—at least, that’s not something they’ve actually talked about. But for the past month, they’ve spent most—if not all—of their free time together, sneaking into each other’s houses, constantly dodging Dani’s dad’s suspicion. They kiss a lot, and sometimes they do other things, though Dani’s always a little hesitant when it goes beyond kissing. Paige never pushes her, but it’s usually Paige taking the lead, her hands finding places on Dani that make her nervous and excited all at once.

Dani goes to all of Paige’s games, cheering her on from the stands, sometimes on the sidelines with her camera, taking pictures of the basketball team—but mostly Paige, if she’s honest—for the yearbook. Dani knows that what they’re doing, how they’re acting, is how couples act. But neither of them have actually brought it up. The thought of saying it out loud—of making it real—scares Dani more than she wants to admit. She doesn’t know if she’s ready for that, for all the weight that comes with actually dating a girl—even if it’s Paige. Even though, deep down, that’s exactly what they are. Dani feels guilty about it, too, wondering if all her hesitation makes Paige feel like she doesn’t care for her enough, or that she’s ashamed to be with her. But it’s not that.. it’s just difficult. Dani just needs time.

Tonight—Christmas Eve Eve, as Paige has called it—the pair are parked in an empty lot on the outskirts of town, sipping their half-finished milkshakes and talking about nothing in particular. The windows of Paige’s car are fogging up from the cold outside, but inside, it’s warm and comfortable. The only light within the car are the ridiculous rainbow car Christmas lights Paige bought and strung around the vehicle, telling Dani they “gave good vibes” after Dani made fun of her for it.

Paige finishes her shake first, always the chugger between them, and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand before glancing over at Dani. “Can I have a sip of yours?”

Dani rolls her eyes a little before leaning the cup towards Paige, the straw just in reach. Paige takes a sip, nodding in approval, her lips humming against the straw. She pulls back, murmuring, “Tastes good.”

“Mhm,” Dani replies, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She pulls the shake back towards herself, taking another sip as Paige’s eyes stay on her.

Paige smirks a little, her eyes glinting mischievously as she takes the cup from Dani’s hand, slipping it into one of the cup holders in the console between them. And then she leans forward, kissing Dani without warning, her tongue sliding into Dani’s mouth with the taste of milkshake still on their lips. It’s quick, teasing, before Paige pulls back and murmurs, “You taste like Oreo.”

Dani rolls her eyes, but the way her chest tightens at Paige’s words betrays her attempt at nonchalance. Without thinking too hard about it, she grabs Paige’s face in both hands, pulling her in for another kiss, unsatisfied with the shortness of the first one. Her fingers thread into Paige’s hair, the taste of cold milkshake lingering on both of their tongues.

The kiss deepens, and Dani feels that familiar pull in her chest, that mixture of wanting more but being too afraid to ask for it. Paige’s hands find her waist, fingers lightly squeezing, and Dani shivers—not from the cold, but from the sensation of Paige’s touch, the way it makes her feel safe and exposed all at once.

When Dani slows the kiss down, her tongue running over Paige’s bottom lip before taking it in between her teeth lightly, that seems to do it for the blonde. Paige’s fingers tighten in the fabric or Dani’s jacket, breaking the kiss, just barely, muttering against Dani’s lips, “Backseat.”

The word sends a little thrill through Dani, and she nods eagerly, already feeling heat rise in her cheeks. Paige is the first to move, and Dani expects her to step out and open the door to get to the backseat, but instead, Paige tries to climb between the two front seats. Dani watches with a smirk as Paige’s foot gets stuck awkwardly between the headrests. There’s a moment where Paige pauses, trying to wriggle free, and then—she falls face-first into the backseat.

Dani stares at Paige for a long second, before a bout of laughter bursts out of her, loud and uncontrollable. It echoes in the small space of the car, filling the air. She climbs over the center console much more gracefully than Paige did, sliding into the backseat with ease, still giggling as she watches Paige pull herself up from her awkward position.

Paige looks up, rolling her eyes but grinning, her face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and amusement. She grabs Dani’s hips, pulling her into her lap as the brunette continues to laugh at the look on Paige’s face. “Shut up,” the point guard mumbles, but there’s no bite in it. Her hand reaches out, gripping the back of Dani’s neck, pulling her down for another kiss.

Dani’s laughter dies on her lips as soon as they connect, her hands gripping Paige’s shoulders for balance. The kiss is deeper now, more urgent, like Paige is trying to make Dani forget about her little tumble. It might be working. Dani shifts in Paige’s lap, feeling the heat between them, and her hands slide from Paige’s shoulders down to her chest, steadying herself.

Paige’s hands roam, one trailing from Dani’s hip down to her ass, squeezing gently, making Dani gasp against Paige’s lips. It’s always like this with Paige—gentle, but insistent, just enough to make Dani’s pulse race. She tries to stay in the moment, to focus on the way Paige’s hands feel on her body, the way her lips move against hers, but that nagging thought creeps in like it always does: God wouldn’t want this. You’re disgusting. Your dad would be ashamed.

It’s a spiral that Dani’s far too familiar with. The guilt sinks in deep, twisting her stomach in knots, and for a second, she hesitates. But then she remembers—it’s Paige. She’s not doing this with just anyone. She’s doing this with Paige, the person she trusts more than anyone else in the world. The girl she’s loved for as long as she can remember.

With Paige, it’s different. It’s always been different. And somehow, when she thinks of it that way, when she remembers who she’s with, the thoughts get quieter. The guilt doesn’t disappear, but it fades, just enough for her to kiss Paige again and let herself get lost in it.

She shifts closer, her body pressing against Paige’s, and nothing else seems to matter. Not God, not her dad, not the expectations hanging over her head. It’s just her and Paige, tangled together in the backseat, sharing breath and warmth in the cold December night.

Paige’s lips move from Dani’s mouth to her neck, her breath warm against Dani’s skin, and Dani lets out a soft sigh, tilting her head to give Paige more room. Paige sucks a little, though Dani can tell she’s careful to not leave a mark, her tongue ghosting over Dani’s skin before soothing it with a kiss. And then Dani feels Paige’s hand slip from its spot on her ass, shifting over to her waist. Paige’s fingers toy with the waistband of Dani’s leggings, hesitant but lingering, testing the waters like she always does—never pushing too far.

Dani’s heart is pounding, and she knows she could let it happen. She wants to let it happen. But before she can even think about it too much, her hand instinctively moves to Paige’s, gently pushing it away. She doesn’t break the kiss, doesn’t pull back or say a word. Just a soft, unspoken no. Paige understands immediately. She always does. Without any complaint or hesitation, she pulls her hand back, sliding it up to cup Dani’s cheek instead, her thumb brushing softly along her skin.

It’s moments like these that make Dani’s chest ache. Not in the painful way she’s used to, but in a way that reminds her how much Paige cares. She’s always so patient, so understanding, never making Dani feel guilty for not being ready, for not knowing how to handle all the shit inside her head.

The thing is, Dani would love for Paige to slip her hand beneath her sweatpants, to feel Paige’s fingers on her, making her forget everything else for a while. But even thinking about it makes her feel a little sick—not because she doesn’t want it, but because she feels like she’s failing Paige. Paige has been so giving, always the one to take care of Dani, making sure Dani feels good. They’ve been like this for a while now, kissing, touching, but it’s mostly been Paige doing the giving, and Dani feels like she’s taking too much. The one time Dani did something for Paige—about a week ago, when she worked up the nerve to finger her—she had been terrified the whole time, not because she didn’t want to, but because it felt so much more real when she was the one doing it.

Admitting she’s gay—actually gay—still scares her. It’s one thing to have Paige do things to her, but being the one to touch Paige, to make her feel good, feels like crossing a line Dani’s been afraid to step over. If she’s the one giving, there’s no more pretending. She’s known she’s liked girls for a while now, but it still feels heavy, like a weight pressing down on her chest that she’s not ready to carry.

But Paige deserves more. Paige deserves to feel good too. And Dani’s tired of being scared. Tonight, she’s determined to push past it, to be there for Paige the way Paige has been there for her.

Without saying a word, Dani pulls away from their kiss, her lips trailing down to Paige’s neck. She feels Paige shiver beneath her, the sound of her breathing hitching just slightly. Dani’s hands slide up under Paige’s sweatshirt, fingers brushing the bare skin beneath her sports bra. She’s nervous, her stomach twisting, but the soft gasp that escapes Paige’s lips makes her push forward.

When Dani sucks at a particular spot on Paige’s neck, she hears Paige’s breath quicken even more, and Paige’s hand tightens in Dani’s hair. That little reaction is enough to give Dani the courage she needs to keep going, to let herself forget the fear for a second and just focus on Paige, on making her feel as good as Paige has made her feel so many times before.

Dani pulls away for a moment, hands at the hem of Paige’s sweatshirt. She yanks it up, pulling the sweatshirt over Paige’s head, leaving her in just her sports bra. Paige’s skin is warm beneath her touch, and Dani can’t help but linger on the way Paige’s muscles tense slightly under her fingers as Dani slides her hands down, keeping them on her abs. When Paige’s hands slip under Dani’s jacket, tracing along her bare back, it sends a shiver through Dani’s entire body.

She leans back in, her lips finding Paige’s again, hungrier this time, like she’s trying to pour all the things she can’t say into the kiss. Paige responds just as eagerly, pulling Dani closer, their bodies pressed together in the confined space of the backseat. Dani’s hands move lower, sliding down Paige’s abs, her fingertips brushing against the waistband of Paige’s sweatpants.

Paige pauses a little, murmuring against her lips, “Dani, you don’t have to—”

Dani pulls back just enough to meet Paige’s eyes, her heart racing but her voice firm. “I want to.” She pauses, her fingers hesitating just above the waistband. “Do you want me to?”

For a moment, Paige just stares at her, and Dani feels her nerves spike. She’s not sure what’s going through Paige’s mind, but then all of a sudden, Paige is nodding, pulling Dani closer and kissing her with a kind of intensity that makes Dani’s head spin. That’s all the confirmation Dani needs.

She carefully begins to slide Paige’s sweatpants down, her hands trembling slightly, but Paige lifts her hips to help, making it easier. The sweatpants come off, and Dani feels the heat rising between them, her breath catching as her lips move from Paige’s, trailing down her neck, across her collarbone, and lower. She presses her lips to the hem of Paige’s sports bra, then continues down her toned abs, each kiss slower, more deliberate.

By the time Dani’s kneeling in front of Paige, the weight of what she’s about to do feels heavier than ever. She glances up at Paige, and for a second, the vulnerability between them is palpable. Dani can see the flicker of nerves in Paige’s eyes, mirroring her own. But then Dani leans in, pressing a soft kiss to Paige’s thigh, and then another, inching closer.

Paige’s breath hitches, her hands tightening in Dani’s hair. Dani’s heart pounds in her chest, but she’s not chickening out of this. She gently hooks her fingers around the waistband of Paige’s underwear, pulling it to the side. With a deep breath, she places a gentle kiss there, on Paige’s clit, her lips lingering for a second before her tongue pokes out, tasting Paige.

Paige lets out a little noise in between a groan and a whimper as Dani’s tongue slides along her slit, slowly moving up and down before circling around her clit. She takes her time, getting used to it, letting Paige get used to it. She feels Paige’s grip tighten in her hair a little, and Dani flicks her tongue harder against her, a bit firmer.

Paige tastes good. Sweet, even. Dani doesn’t know why she thought it might be different—maybe because she’s spent so long believing this was wrong, that their bodies pressed together like this was a sin, something dirty. But there’s nothing wrong about how Paige feels beneath her. There’s nothing sinful in the way Paige’s body responds to her, the soft sounds that escape her lips. Dani presses her mouth even closer, tasting more of Paige, trying to let herself enjoy it.

Every shift of Paige’s hips, every tug on Dani’s hair sends a thrill through the brunette, and Dani doesn’t want to stop. She has no intentions to, either. Even if it’s wrong, even if God is looking down right now, disappointed and angry, Dani finds herself caring less and less. Paige feels good, and that’s all Dani can focus on in this moment.

Her mouth moves faster, tongue swirling and flicking. Paige’s breathing is ragged, her voice breathy as she murmurs Dani’s name again and then once more, like a prayer. A prayer that’s just for Dani, not for anyone else, not for God.

And maybe that’s what Dani’s starting to believe—that Paige might love her more than God ever could. Because in this moment, Paige is giving her everything. Every little gasp, every whispered word of encouragement, the way Paige swipes Dani’s hair away from her face—it’s all for her.

And Dani thinks that might be enough.

Dani feels it, then. Paige’s body tenses beneath her, her hips jerking up slightly with every movement of Dani’s mouth. Dani can tell Paige is close. So, she sucks harder, her tongue flicking against Paige’s clit, before sliding down into her entrance. Dani’s tongue pumps inside Paige for a moment before pulling back out, coating Paige’s clit with her own arousal and Dani’s saliva.

“Fuck, Dani—” Paige’s grip tightens in Dani’s hair, hard enough to sting, but Dani doesn’t stop. She glances up to see Paige throwing her head back, eyes squeezed shut, sweat glistening on her flushed skin. Paige’s lips are parted, her chest heaving, and it’s like Dani can feel the tension building in her, ready to snap.

Paige’s hips jerk up again, her body instinctively seeking more as Dani’s mouth keeps moving, her tongue and lips working together, sucking, flicking, doing everything she can to keep Paige on that edge.

“Shit—like that—” Paige’s voice comes out in a rush, shaky and breathless. “I’m gonna come, Dan—”

And then she does.

Paige’s body arches a little off the seat, her thighs trembling around Dani’s head, her hands gripping tighter, holding Dani there as she lets go. Dani doesn’t stop, her mouth still working, feeling every pulse, every shudder as Paige gushes against her. Paige groans, and it’s louder than before, more raw. Dani can’t help but smile against her skin, knowing she did this. She made Paige feel this good.

Paige’s hips finally settle back against the seat, her body going slack as the last tremors of her orgasm fade. Dani pulls back just enough to rest her head against Paige’s thigh, her lips brushing lightly over the damp skin. She stays there, catching her breath, watching as Paige’s chest rises and falls, her eyes still closed, her face soft and blissed out.

Dani feels Paige run her fingers through her hair, and when Dani looks up, the blonde is smiling down at her. “C’mere,” Paige mumbles, voice laced with warmth, guiding Dani up until she’s straddling her again. Their bodies press together as Paige leans in, capturing Dani’s lips in a kiss that’s slower, deeper—less about urgency now, and more about the feeling. It’s gentle and lingering, as if neither of them wants to break it.

Dani feels herself melt into the kiss, her body relaxing against Paige’s as their lips move together in perfect rhythm. Paige’s hand slips from Dani’s hair to cradle her jaw, holding her close, grounding her.

When they pull apart, Dani rests her forehead against Paige’s, their noses brushing as their breaths mingle in the close space. Paige’s eyes flutter open, and when Dani looks into them, she’s caught off guard by what she sees there. It’s a softness, a kind of tenderness that makes Dani’s heart skip, her mind racing to catch up to the emotions coursing through her. Paige is staring at her like she’s the only thing in the world.

Paige’s smile is small but sincere as she reaches up, fingers brushing a stray lock of hair away from Dani’s face, tucking it behind her ear with a kind of care that makes Dani’s chest tighten. She doesn’t rush; she lets her fingertips linger there for a moment, as if savoring the touch, before she finally speaks.

“I love you,” Paige says simply, her voice steady. The easiness of the words strikes Dani like a bolt of lightning, but instead of freezing, she feels something in her release, something that had been tied up for too long. The words aren’t new, but they haven’t been said since the night that everything shifted—since that heated confession in the summer before Dani’s dad found out and ripped their world apart.

Dani’s heart swells as she leans in, her lips brushing against Paige’s in the lightest of touches, a grin pulling at her mouth as she whispers back, “I love you, too.” The words tumble out easily, like they’ve been waiting there, just beneath the surface, needing to be said. And for the first time in a long while, Dani doesn’t think about God, or the crushing guilt, or her dad’s disapproving glare. None of that exists here.

What exists is Paige—her warmth, her love, the way her hands settle on Dani’s hips like they belong there. Dani presses her forehead harder against Paige’s, her fingers clutching at the fabric of Paige’s sports bra as she lets herself fully relax. She breathes in the closeness, the safety, the undeniable feeling that what they have is stronger than what they’ve been through. Paige’s thumb strokes the side of Dani’s face, their noses brushing together in soft affection, and Dani feels tears sting the back of her eyes—not from sadness, but from the overwhelming realization that, here, with Paige, she doesn’t have to fight anymore.

For the first time in a long time, Dani feels free. Free to love, free to be loved in return. Finally.

THE FEELING doesn’t last.

It’s Christmas Eve, and Dani stands in front of her mirror, adjusting the diamond-encrusted cross necklace that gleams against her chest. The red dress she’s wearing is velvet, and she’s paired it with black tights and black heels that give her a little extra height. Her hair falls around her face in carefully styled curls, each strand falling just right after she spent the better part of an hour fixing it. She should feel good. It’s Christmas, a time meant for happiness and celebration, and evening mass is awaiting her. She even looks the part—perfectly put together, dressed like the straight Catholic girl she’s supposed to be. But as she stares at her reflection, her fingers lingering on the cross, she feels like a fraud.

The necklace is supposed to mean something. It’s supposed to be a reminder of faith, of devotion. But all Dani can think about is how much she’s hiding, how far she’s strayed from the person her dad thinks she is—or wants her to be. From the person God wants her to be. Her eyes linger on the cross, a symbol of the God she’s supposed to love and trust, and all she feels is guilt. Not because she doesn’t believe, but because she’s constantly questioning. Questioning her wants, her feelings for Paige, and whether those feelings really makes her the sinner she’s been told she is.

With a heavy sigh, she pulls her gaze away from the mirror and heads downstairs. Her dad waits in the living room, dressed in one of his nicest suits, his expression as stern and composed as always. When he sees her, though, his features soften slightly, and he offers a rare smile, nodding in approval at her appearance.

“You look pretty. Like your mom,” he says, the words simple but weighted.

Dani feels her heart clench at the mention of her mother. It’s been years since she passed, but the wound never really healed, not for her or her dad. Her mom had been the one to keep everything together, the glue that held their family in place. Without her, things have felt wrong for the better part of a decade. Her dad’s harder now, more distant, and Dani knows it’s because the person who softened him is gone. And it hurts—hurts in a way that she doesn’t like to think about too often.

She forces a small smile, nodding. “Thanks, Dad.”

The moment hangs in the air for a second too long, both of them knowing it’s better not to dwell on the past. Her dad clears his throat, the softness in his expression quickly vanishing, replaced by his usual stoicism. They gather their things—Dani grabs her coat and gloves—and head out the front door, stepping into the crisp evening air. The snow is fresh from last night’s fall, blanketing the yard in a thick, undisturbed layer.

As they approach the car, Dani’s gaze is pulled next door, where she sees Paige, Drew, and Bob Bueckers in their front yard, building a snowman. Dani’s breath catches, her pulse quickening at the sight of Paige, bundled up in a thick coat and scarf, her cheeks flushed pink from the cold. Paige’s laugh rings out, bright and clear, as she tosses a handful of snow at Drew, who giggles and ducks away. It’s a simple, happy scene—one Dani wishes she could be part of.

Paige seems to sense Dani’s eyes on her, turning to make eye contact almost immediately. Dani feels a rush of warmth and guilt all at once, the connection between them so strong it’s impossible to ignore. But she forces herself to look away quickly, her heart pounding in her chest. She can’t let her dad see her staring—can’t let him sense anything that might raise suspicion. Instead, she glances over at him, watching as he observes the Bueckers family with a look of disdain.

Dani’s heart aches as she watches the way her dad’s mouth tightens, his jaw clenching ever so slightly. He’s never been too fond of their neighbors, though he originally tolerated them. But once he found out what exactly was going on between his daughter and Paige, all he is is disgusted of the family, disapproval scathing him. And seeing them now, carefree and happy, only seems to fuel his bitterness.

Bob catches sight of them and, ever the friendly neighbor, grins and waves. “Merry Christmas!” he calls out cheerfully, his breath forming little clouds in the cold air.

Dani’s dad barely acknowledges him, giving a curt nod that’s more rude than polite. Dani feels a familiar sense of unease stir inside her. She wants to say something—wants to return the greeting, to be polite, to go over and even join the family, leaving her father behind—but she doesn’t. She knows better than to risk upsetting her dad. So instead, she glances at Paige, offering a small, apologetic smile. Paige catches it, her eyes softening in understanding, but there’s a sadness there too. Dani looks away quickly, the guilt creeping up her spine again.

Without another word, Dani climbs into the car, the biting cold following her as she shuts the door behind her. Her dad settles into the driver’s seat, starting the engine with a low rumble. They pull out of the driveway, heading toward the church in silence. Dani presses her forehead against the cool window, watching the snow-covered world blur past, trying to ignore the tightening in her chest.

Her mind drifts back to Paige, like it always does. And Dani wonders, not for the first time, what her mom would say if she were still alive. Would she have been like her dad—stern, unyielding, sending her off to conversion camp the second she found out? Or would she have been different? Softer. Would she have tried to understand? Would she have let Dani be herself? After all, she always adored Paige.

The thoughts swirl around in her head, heavy and unanswerable. Dani’s hand drifts to the cross necklace around her neck again, fingers tightening around the cool metal. It feels like a chain, pulling her in two different directions—toward the person she’s supposed to be and the person she is. And no matter how hard she tries, she can’t make those two versions of herself fit together.

As they approach the church, the glow of the stained glass windows and the sound of Christmas hymns filling the air, Dani closes her eyes and prays. Not for forgiveness or guidance, but for the strength to get through one more night of pretending.

THE MASS is beautiful. Dani can admit that, even as she sits stiffly in the pew beside her dad, staring at the soft glow of candlelight flickering against the stained-glass windows. The choir’s voices rise, sweet and reverent, songs of praise. Incense curls through the air, familiar and comforting in a way that reminds her of all the Christmases past, of sitting in this very spot with her parents when she was a kid, back when her mom would pull her close, hold her hand, and sing along quietly to the hymns.

But tonight, Dani feels nothing but emptiness.

No matter how beautiful the service is, no matter how much everyone around her is wrapped up in the joy of the season, Dani can’t shake the hollowness inside her. To these people, to this religion, to her God, someone like her is nothing but a sinner. It doesn’t matter how many times she comes to confession, how often she kneels and begs for forgiveness, or how hard she tries to repent. Her sin isn’t just sin—it’s love. And love is supposed to be pure, isn’t it? It’s supposed to be good and true. But her love, the love she feels for Paige, is something this church sees as wrong, as twisted and disgusting and impure. And it makes everything so much harder.

As the priest delivers his final blessing, Dani lowers her head, mouthing the words to the closing prayer but not really hearing them. Her heart is too heavy, weighed down by guilt and fear and longing. When the congregation rises to leave, Dani stands with them, moving in a daze, following her dad out of the church without a word.

They step out into the freezing night, the air crisp and biting against her skin. Dani pulls her coat tighter around herself as they make their way toward the cemetery behind the church. The snow crunches beneath their feet, the cold nipping at her exposed skin. She can see her breath in the air, little clouds of warmth vanishing into the frigid darkness.

When they reach her mother’s headstone, Dani stops beside her dad, staring down at the grave. The name etched into the stone seems to shimmer beneath the thin layer of snow, the years since her mom’s death feeling both like a lifetime and no time at all.

It’s silent for a few minutes, neither of them knowing what to say. Dani feels her throat tighten as she stands there, her eyes fixed on the headstone. She wonders if her mom knows—if, somehow, from wherever she is, her mom can see the truth. If she would have understood. If she would have fought for Dani when her dad sent her away.

The silence breaks when her dad finally speaks.

“She would be so proud of you, you know,” he says, his voice quiet but firm.

Dani swallows hard, her chest tightening at the words. She doesn’t look at him, just keeps her eyes on the headstone, blinking against the sting of tears she refuses to let fall. She’s not sure she believes him. Not sure if her mom would be proud of the person she’s become, or if she would be disappointed in her, just like her dad always seems to be.

He turns to her, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it. “I’m so proud of you,” he tells her, and the sincerity in his voice makes Dani’s stomach twist.

She turns to stare at him, the words unfamiliar and strange coming out of his mouth. He’s never said that to her before. He’s always been critical, cold, his disappointment palpable in the way he’d look at her like she was something to be fixed, something wrong. But now, standing here, he’s looking at her with something close to affection, admiration even, and it confuses her. It hurts her.

“I’ve watched you face so many demons, overcome so many sins,” he continues, his grip on her shoulder tightening slightly as if to emphasize his words. “And you’ve come out the other side stronger. A good Catholic girl, just like your mother would have wanted. A good saint.”

Dani’s heart clenches painfully at the word saint, at the way he speaks as if she’s become someone to be admired, someone who’s found her way back to the light. The irony of it all makes her want to scream. He thinks she’s rid herself of her sins—thinks she’s free of the darkness that plagued her when she was with Paige. But the truth is, she’s only happy now because she’s back with Paige. The sin he believes she’s overcome is the very thing that’s saved her.

“I’ve seen how happy you’ve become,” her dad continues, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You’re different now. You’ve found peace.”

Dani almost laughs. She’s different because she’s finally allowed herself to be with Paige again. She’s happy because Paige is the one person who makes her feel whole. And yet her dad is standing here, congratulating her for turning away from the very thing that makes her happy. The disconnect between what he believes and what she knows is so sharp it feels like it’s splitting her in two.

“You’ve done everything right,” he says, his tone filled with pride. “Your grades are good, you’re focused, and you’ve got a good boyfriend in Beau. I know your mom would’ve been proud of the life you’re building. And I’m excited to see where you go next, Dani. You’re gonna go far.”

Dani feels like her throat is closing up. She hasn’t told him that she and Beau broke up over a month ago. She hasn’t told him the truth about anything. And now, as she stands here, hearing him talk about how proud he is of the person she’s become, all she can think about is how none of it is real. None of it is her. If he knew the truth—if he knew about Paige—he wouldn’t be saying any of this.

“Thanks, Dad,” Dani manages to murmur, her voice tight, the words barely making it past the lump in her throat.

But inside, she feels like she’s falling apart. Because all of his pride, all of his admiration, is built on a lie. And that fucking hurts more than anything.

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