#; buffy would be on the ground but then progressively be standing up

[kyshiwarrior]

what i would fucking give to see the andi mack gang play mario kart together

[buffyversefanfiction]

Slayer of Slayers

Warnings: I do not own, nor do I claim to own any of the copyright or characters within the Buffyverse which includes but not limited to the television shows Buffy and Angel, as well as the Darkhorse comics series’ continuation.

15+ Strong to moderate violence, Graphic to mild descriptions of gore, and torture, sexually charged scenes, sexual innuendos, mild to strong language, and practices of witchcraft.

M/M, F/F, M/F, GEN, OTHER +

PART TWO LINK HERE

Part Three: Slayer Supervision

Faith Lehane walked into the room within the Hyperion Hotel that she had made her own every time she came to Los Angeles, walked over to her bed, and pulled a rucksack out from under it, before proceeding to open the bag and pull out her favorite knife, the one Buffy stabbed her with, the one she eventually returned to Faith, and as she began looking the blade up and down she was filled with a dreaded sense of nostalgia as she remembers how much blood she had spilled with this knife, fearing she would soon be spilling more with it. “He has really got to you, hasn’t he?” Angel asked as he walked into the slayer’s hotel room. “Faith, this Theo is not you nor is he the past you, he is something else entirely and if we have to kill him that does not make you the rogue slayer again…” “Doesn’t it? How come I get a second chance at getting this right and he doesn’t? We do not know how hard his life has been? How he came to be in that dive bar full of all kinds of monsters, maybe he was brainwashed or maybe he’s just like us and got lost along the way, maybe he just needs saving like what you did for me.” Faith replied, admitting her reluctance to fight Theo. “And you did me…” Angel said with a sincere smile. “If you think he can be saved then I hope we get the chance to save him…” “Angel…” Faith began to say only to be interrupted by Illyria storming into the room. “I found your so-called slayer of slayers I do not even think he is trying to hide…strange he is meant to be this fearsome foe and I would not underestimate him but all I sense from him now is sadness,” Illyria announced. “I think it may be somewhat kind to put him down now…and I do not know how I feel about that.” Faith could not help but feel guilty over Theo’s misery as she had found herself forming a strange bond with the rogue slayer, she had only met him and Tobias briefly, but it was enough time to realize how much they really cared for each other, and Faith knew how rare something like that was. Things were far simpler for her when she was the one on team bad killing and pretending not to care about a damn thing but despite the complications that came with redemption, she had something now which she had never had before, and that was friends, friends who helped her fight her darkness, and friends who had her back, whereas she suspected Theo only ever truly had Tobias and now he was gone. Faith found herself caring for this stranger far more than she had ever cared for a stranger before, there was a kinship between the two that she could not deny, and because of this, she wanted nothing more than for Theo to have a chance at true redemption, a chance she hoped she could give him…

“If you think you are the only one with surprises slayer then think again!” Theo declared as Faith, Angel, and Illyria walked into an abandoned warehouse, somewhere within the city limits of Los Angeles. “If anything, your surprise was half expected but what I have in store will blow all of your minds.” “What are you human? Your slayer like but not slayer like, there is something more to you than the average blood bag.” Illyria questioned the rogue male vampire slayer. “If I have to break every bone in your body then reassemble you to find out then I will.” “Oh, I’m a slayer alright but unlike the others, I chose my path, I chose this power, and if anything, I am the only true slayer since the first.” Theo willingly revealed to them. “How do you choose to be a slayer? How is that even possible?” Faith wondered. “A witch casting some spell does not make you a slayer it just makes you lucky.” “It’s a little more complicated than that Faith, if we had more time, I’d have told you not only what I am but who I am…the who being far more important in this story,” Theo replied, being as cryptic as possible. “There’s only one of you and three of us,” Angel stated, giving the guy a chance to hand himself over to them, but within seconds vampires began walking in from all the different entrances of the abandoned warehouse. “These bloodsuckers will take mere seconds to kill.” Illyria declared before turning to Faith. “How about you show the petulant man-child what a slayer really is?” As Illyria and Angel charged towards the vampires and began fighting, killing, and slaying their opponents with a little too much ease for Theo’s liking, Faith charged towards Theo beginning a fight between the two slayers, one that Theo managed to hold his own in rather well as he delivered almost as many punches and kicks to Faith, as she did him, proving to be quite a match, but before long Faith got the better of the rogue slayer making it clear she was far stronger than him and victoriously slammed him to the ground before pulling out her infamous knife from her pocket. “It does not have to go down like this kid.” Faith told Theo as she stood above him, knife in hand, while Theo lay on the ground looking at his army being slaughtered easily by Angel and Illyria, knowing he was defeated. “Just kill me already…I’d rather dance in hell with my Tobias again than ever give in to a slayer!” Tobias shouted at Faith, only to be met by the blunt end of Faith’s knife, as she used it to knock the slayer of slayers out cold. “Lucky for you I’m not a killer anymore.” Faith declared, knowing she had just won the fight without having to get her hands bloody.

After keeping Theo held up in the cage within the basement of the Hyperion Hotel, one once used for Angelus, Faith made arranges with Giles to come to pick him up and take the rogue slayer to the Giles and Harris Rehabilitation Centre for the Supernatural, a place established by Rupert Giles and Xander Harris intended to rehabilitate rogue slayers and the odd supernatural creature. Faith knew Theo would be in good hands with Giles, the watcher she wished she had from the start, knowing his center had helped many struggling slayers get back on their right paths but if Theo was truly going to be rehabilitated at some stage, he would, of course, need to want it and that was something that Faith feared would never happen. “Not going to lie when you pulled up in that big ass truck, I got immediate flashbacks of the watchers' council trying to take me in for their version of slayer rehab, but I know you’re a better guy than any of them plus it helps to have slayers on the side at your center, slayers helping slayers and all that, like a sisterhood, except now I guess we have a brother too.” Faith admitted to Giles as the two of them stood in a random parking lot, standing to the side of the truck that Faith had mentioned, a truck that had Theo tied up inside. “You are by far the biggest rogue turned redeemed slayer success story Faith never forget that I would probably never have even considered opening a place as this had you not shown me the amazing capacity one can have to truly change. Look at you’re now the number one girl in demand saving lives all over the place, like the true hero I knew you could one day be.” Giles gushed showing fatherly pride towards the slayer whom he had grown closer and closer towards over recent years. “So, what happens with the boy now? I mean we still don’t know how he is a slayer if he is even a slayer and that whole dormant power thing Illyria was talking about has sure got my interest peaked.” Faith quizzed the former watcher, eager to learn more about the mysterious Theo. “We will do all that we can to help him but I’m afraid our progress entirely rests on him some slayers have good turnaround but then others stay for a long time…perhaps too long but there’s nowhere else for the dangerous ones except under supervision by those who are just as strong if not stronger than them,” Giles informed Faith. “I can tell you really want this one to be a success story all I can promise you is that I will try my hardest to make that happen not only for you but for him too.”

Rupert Giles kept his promise to Faith and over the next few weeks he tried relentlessly to get through to the first male slayer Theo, hoping to break through to him, and find out what it was that Faith saw in him worth saving, but he only got games, awkward flirting, and more games, as Theo refused to break at the hands of the former watcher, or less surprisingly his no so silent business partner Xander Harris who had his construction company help build the rehabilitation center at a reasonable family discount, and had now thought himself something of a therapist but was mostly put up with by the slayer bodyguards because he’d always show up with hot beverages and bakery delicacies. And so, to keep his promise to the vampire slayer, Giles decided to call in a certain redheaded witch who knew a thing or two about coming back from the darkness herself, Willow Rosenberg, best friend to Xander Harris and the infamous vampire slayer Buffy Summers. “I am sorry about the shackles and everything, but you do have super strength and I guess the people working here have to got to have some sense of security.” Willow apologized to Theo as she walked into the prison-style interrogation room where she found Theo handcuffed to the table with chains around his feet. “This place is the best for you even it does feel like a prison…oh boy I never noticed how prison-like this place really was.” “I’ve been in worse prisons in my time although they did not have fancy slayer proof chains that’s for sure, I guess you’re the next interrogator, shame I enjoy the flirting with the old man, but I suppose you are better than that goof with the donuts…admittedly good donuts,” Theo replied to the witch, as he looked her up and down, examining her in her mind, beginning to form the guess that this could be the all-powerful Willow Rosenberg. “Giles is a good guy no he is a great guy the greatest, you’re in perfect hands here, I do not know what you have been through or what led you to hunt down your own kind, but I want you to know we are going to do everything we can for you,” Willow stated with discomfort, trying to hide her own queries about the place that Giles and Xander had set up. “So, you lock me up for hunting my own kind but you lot imprison your own at least my damage on them ends quickly where I guess this little operation here does a lot of damage on the weaker minds, but you do not have to worry about me my mind is perfectly intact,” Theo responded, not sold on Willow’s attempts to sell him this place. “So, tell me, Theo, where did you get your name, have you got the last name, I mean of course you have the last name, where did you grow up, who are your parents?” Willow questioned the rogue slayer, eager to get some answers from him. “Here’s the thing red you seem super cute and everything you know for a witch for the tendency to flay people alive, but I am not going to sit here and spill the details about how I wound up slayer of slayers. Now had Buffy herself had the courage to face off with me then maybe I’d be more willing to spill my guts.” Theo answered her, now knowing from the quirky attitude, and the signature red hair, that this was the Willow he had been described. “So, how about you let me go before I have to go all prison break up in here leading to me killing a bunch of your friends maybe even the old man too.” “Are you seriously telling me you have no remorse about killing all those people, slayers, humans, innocent lives that you ended?” Willow snapped at the rogue slayer, refusing to believe he had no remorse. “You will not be leaving here until there is proof that there is some kind of soul still inside of you Theo and if we cannot find it then consider this place your new home!” “Do not sit there and tell me you did not feel the thrill of literally ripping the skin of a man who took the love of your life from you, the pleasure you got in revenge. Sure, it is easy being all remorseful now that you got your revenge, but I still have people to die before I get my peace, and thanks to everyone involved in taking me here, I

now have even more to add to that list.” Theo admitted to her, unintentionally revealing to the redheaded witch that something had to have happened to him to make him want to seek out revenge in the first place. “I am not proud of the person I became when I lost her…and yes I enjoyed every minute of my revenge but once I got it, there was nothing…I still did not have her and all I did was bloody my hands and betray the ones I love.” Willow said as tears began forming in her eyes. “Whatever revenge you are seeking is not worth it because even if you do get it, then what? Vengeance eats you up until that is all that is left of you and then when it leaves you well, that is when you are truly alone.” “Vengeance was not everything I had…I used to have him.” Theo replied, surprising Willow by opening to her, clearly showing he understood some of the pain she was feeling. “I was happy once, living the boring suburban life and then everything changed…I never thought I would ever be happy again but Tobias, he loved me so intensely, with all of his heart, he showed me love like never before, and then that blue-haired bitch took him from me.” “The fact that you loved him, the fact that you still loved him shows there is some goodness in you and clearly he saw it too. I do not pretend to understand vampires and their souls but if you two were able to love each other then neither of you could be truly evil because true evil does not feel anything let alone love.” Willow advised the rogue slayer, believing she was getting through to him, as she started to see in him what Faith had seen. “I am sorry he was taken from you nobody should have to go through that pain!” “Thanks for the pep talk witch but you either release me now or this prison is about to get bloody!” Theo warned Willow, hiding back behind his virtual mask, hiding his vulnerability which he thought of as nothing but weakness.

After attempting to get through to him and failing, well at least partially failing, Willow walked out of the so-called counseling room, which was clearly more of an interrogation room, and walked into a nearby hallway to find Faith there stood anxiously waiting for Willow’s appointment with Theo to be over, as Willow realized just how involved Faith was becoming in this case. “He has definitely read the rogue slayer playbook that you created in another world he could be the Chucky doll to your Tiffany despite all the weird romantic stuff considering he’s a gay guy and you are not a dude,” Willow mumbled to the slayer as she walked over to greet her. “Oh god, now I’m going to be having wacky nightmares about you and him in doll form trying to kill me.” “Nice to see you too Will but can we just get to the part where you tell me all you got out of the troublemaker?” Faith asked the witch, eager to get new information on the latest rogue slayer. “I think he needs to talk to somebody, and I do not mean any of us, somebody with an actual license in psychology. I get the whole dangerous thing but the person in there that I just met is someone deeply hurting like you were…I am so sorry we did not see how badly you were hurting back then.” Willow revealed to her, as she apologized for failing the rogue slayer many years ago. “Maybe Giles can get a psychiatrist up in here or something?” Faith suggested as she looked around the place that she had found herself in. “This place seems more prison-like than actual prison but at least they had doctors and everything.” “I am going to find out everything I can about Theo, cast some spells, locate family, find records of his life, there must be some kind of paper tracks I can find to find out who he was and what made him who he is now,” Willow said, reassuring her friend that this rogue slayer was not beyond saving. “Thanks, Willow.” Faith replied genuinely. “Hey, you have been a one-man army since Buffy went all recluse on us all and with Xander and Dawn busy co-parenting baby Joyce since their split you have kind of been my most frequently in touch friend lately,” Willow admitted to Faith making it clear that she appreciated Faith just as much as Faith appreciated her, showing how far the former enemies had come since the days of Sunnydale High.

Theo may have been in the so-called rehabilitation center for a few weeks now but they were far from wasted weeks, while they tried to work him out he was busy working out the layout of the player, the techniques of the slayer guards, eying up the weaknesses of not only the people within this prison but the building itself and as he sat in his literal prison cell bed bouncing a small bouncy ball against a wall he knew his escape would be soon. “If your master plan is to continuously bounce that ball against the wall until it breaks then I have nothing to fear about you breaking out of this place.” Faith told Theo as she walked up to the gates of his prison cell. “I hear there’s more than just slayers went bad up in this place and yet I’ve not seen a single vampire, demon, or anything non-human looking here,” Theo replied, noting the double standards of the place that claimed to be for all things supernatural. “I guess you got to look human or it’s straight to the slaying for you guys which sounds about right. You know there are more monstrous humans in this world than there are evil creatures…you cannot tell me every demon you’ve met was evil and yet there is not even one here to be rehabilitated.” “This is not my prison not my rules but if it was, I’d have everything scaly, hairy, or whatever up in here, minus the actual monsters I mean I am not a saint.” Faith told him, making it clear she didn’t entirely disagree with him. “But right now, you should consider yourself lucky that this place’s rules benefit you!” “After the carnage, you caused to me and my people…to my Tobias, you should consider yourself lucky that there are slayer-proof bars on this cell standing between because even if you were able to take me, I’d make damn sure you died with me!” Theo threatened his fellow slayer, once again living up to his reputation as the slayer of slayers. “Listen up you little brat I do not know why I give a damn about your redemption but somehow I do, and I tend to stop at nothing to get what I want so I will get through to your psychotic ass and one day you’ll be thanking me not threatening me.” Faith responded, keeping her cool, making it clear there was nothing he could say to discourage her in her mission to save his soul. At that moment Theo hated Faith, the slayer who came between him and his beloved Tobias leading to the death of the love of his life, but he still respected her nonetheless, she was a badass bitch who seemed to fear nothing, and most of all she and Illyria, her lover’s actual killer, were the only ones so far to beat him in a fight, and he looked forward to one day beating them both, and avenging Tobias’ death.

After her latest altercation with the rogue slayer, she could not find herself to give up on, Faith had agreed to meet Willow at a nearby dinner, Willow remaining rather cryptic about what she had found out, and why she needed to meet away from Giles’ little prison operation and after a twenty-minute ride on her motorbike Faith met up with the witch in a diner that was completely empty of people except for Willow who was sat at a booth holding a cup of coffee, eagerly awaiting the slayer. “Either you certainly have a way with words with folk or you super witched everyone right out of this place.” Faith assumed as she walked over to Willow and sat down next to her. “I’m assuming the latter considering your going all secret spy on me.” “I started off running Theo’s DNA through a criminal database which I swear is getting easier and easier to hack into as the years go by, and I found a bunch of aliases he went by until a clearly fake birth certificate led to me to the people who raised him from a baby right up until their suspicious deaths which judging by the crime photos I managed to get my hands on tells me they were killed by vampires.” Willow impressively revealed her findings to a stunned Faith, who could not believe that she had discovered all this in such a short space of time. “So, here’s when things get uber wacky, I did a blood finding spell from some blood samples Giles had acquired from him to see if there were any living relatives that could help us get through to him…” “Have I ever said how much I love the fact you’re the smartest person I ever met I mean you are pretty super even without the magic?” Faith complimented her friend, eager to learn more about the mysterious Theo. “So, who did you find if you found anyone that is?” “Buffy Summers, Dawn Summers, Hank Summers,” Willow replied, shocking Faith by her revelation. “And no, he is not some long-lost brother or some distant cousin he is Buffy’s son, the one who should only be about a year-old right about now.” “Holy shit!” Faith stated in a sense of disbelief. “When we lost him in that emergency portal that you created, we didn’t lose him to some other dimension we lost him to the past. So, you are telling me Buffy’s son grew up in the past and is now a twenty-something psychopath clearly out to kill his mother…now that’s messed up even for us!” “We all failed him as a baby…especially me I mean I created who he is today by shoving him through that damn portal!” Willow confessed, feeling all the guilt for what they were forced to do. “Buffy will never forgive me for this, I will never forgive me for this!” “Will, we had the whole of hell chasing us wanting the miracle child, we were out-numbered and out of ideas if you did not magic up that last-minute portal, he would have died that night for real and so would the rest of no doubt…or worse we’d live knowing we couldn’t save an innocent child, Buffy and Angel’s son.” Faith responded to Willow, making it clear to her that nobody was innocent that night, but they all did what they thought was best for Buffy’s son, who they know realized was none other than Theo himself. Suddenly, Faith’s determination to get through to him, Angel’s feeling of familiarness towards him, and Illyria’s claims of hidden power, all of it made sense to both Faith and Willow, he was the son of a slayer and a vampire with a soul, Angel had recognized his own son without even knowing it, and Faith’s guilt over him as a baby had transported onto the adult version. Last year they were forced to take drastic actions in order to protect Buffy and Angel’s child from the rest of the world, a child that logically should never have existed, and yet he did anyway, but deep down neither Faith, Willow, or Buffy ever got over the guilt of those actions and now that Faith and Willow learned the result of them, and how it molded that innocent child into becoming Theo, they were more determined than ever before to get through to the rogue slayer.

However, Theo had no plans of being rescued, in fact, he was planning to rescue himself from the Giles and Harris Rehabilitation Centre for the Supernatural which to him was just fancy words replacing prison to help make those working there feel better about themselves and sure a prison for the supernatural made a lot of sense, but just call it a prison already. And so, the rogue slayer kicked off his escape plan by simply bouncing the bouncy ball harder and harder against the wall, now standing closer to his prison cell gates knowing that the nearby slayer powered guard was growing more and more annoyed by the irritation until she could not take it any longer. “Cut it out already!” The female shouted as she marched over to Theo’s prison gates, playing into his plans as he grabs his little rubber ball and launched it straight into the woman’s throat and as the slayer began choking it caught the attention of another one of the guards but before the other guard could come to the woman’s rescue Theo grabbed the choking guard in towards him, snapping her neck with all the force in his hands, before swiping the keys out of the guards pocket and throwing her now lifeless body to the ground, as he used the other guards' shock and terror to quickly unlock his gate and walk out of his cell. As the stunned slayer came to her senses, she quickly charged towards her colleague’s callous killer only for Theo to get the better of her with a single punch before he lifted her body and threw it against the prison bars, the guard crashing off them before hitting the ground with full impact before the slayer of slayers quickly turned his attention towards the other rogue slayers being held captive there. “I am not much of a team player, but I am going to let you all free, kill whoever stops you from getting your freedom and make sure as hell if you get caught you at least slow these bastards down so I can make my escape!” Theo shouted down the prison hallway to all the prisoners he knew were on this floor, determined to cause as much carnage as possible.

After unlocking many prison gates himself he then let the other slayers take over the prison break duties as Theo quickly began his own escape plan, ditching the others as he found himself running through an empty window before reaching the large bay window which looked out towards the nearby river, the prison’s only view, and that view would be the means of his escape, all he’d have to do is survive the rather large fall but as he ran up towards the window he came to a grinding halt when he heard the sound of a warning shot, the bullet hitting the very window in front of it, smashing it into pieces, as he turned around to find Rupert Giles stood there holding the gun, ready to fire at the slayer of slayers if he made another move. “As much as I love doing this little dance with you and feeding my daddy issues, I’ve had enough fun now and I’m ready to blow this joint,” Theo told Giles making it clear not even a bullet would stop him from leaving. “You killed two of my girls and set free a bunch of killers unleashing god knows what madness by doing so!” Giles shouted at the rogue slayer furiously as he kept a firm hand on his gun, making sure not to take his eye of Theo. “You do not cage an animal then blame it for biting you when it breaks free.” Theo taunted the former watcher. “So, you better have one hell of a shot, or else I’m going to get really pissed and there is not enough British charm in your body to make me not break you into tiny little pieces.” “Get on the ground now and put your hands up or I will shoot!” Giles shouted nervously, not wanting to take the slayer’s life but knowing if he had to shoot, he would, and he would not miss, he could not miss. “Oh, please I am not going to die at the hands of some stuffy old librarian who fancies himself a prison warden to wayward slayers.” Theo laughed, mocking the former watcher ruthlessly. “Get on the ground!” Giles repeated one more time, only for Theo to begin to run towards him, giving Giles no other choice but to fire his gun frantically, not once, or twice, but three times, two of the bullets managing to hit Theo’s body, one launching itself into the slayer’s chest, the other straight through his stomach, knocking him backward as he fell to the ground heavily bleeding out. “No!” Willow screamed as she and Faith came running from around the corner, witnessing Theo’s bloodied state at the hands of Giles, the former watcher not realizing he had just shot his slayer’s son. But before either Faith or Willow could get over to Theo to check on him, nurse his wounds, and try to save him, Theo struggled back to his feet, shocking them all by his tenacity as he continued to bleed out, doing himself no favors whatsoever by moving with all his blood loss as he limped his way over to the broken window. “Like I said I will not die at the hands of a stuffy librarian.” Theo struggled to say before he began coughing up blood and just as Faith began running towards her fellow slayer, Theo launched himself out of the window plummeting towards the river and a more than certain death. “No!” Faith cried as she ran towards the window desperately looking for some sign of Buffy’s son, only for her hopes to be met with more dread when she could see nothing but the river, realizing that she had once again failed that same child that she, Willow, and Buffy swore to protect. “He killed two of my girls then set free a bunch of slayers almost as bad if not even worse than him…I did not want to shoot but he gave me no choice.” Giles mumbled, clearly guilt-ridden over what he had just done. “I understand that casualties are bound to happen around here Giles…but this one’s different,” Willow stated with tears in her eyes, grief-stricken by the death she had just witnessed. “You just killed Buffy and Angel’s kid!” Faith shouted at the former watcher, as she turned around to look at him with fury in her eyes. “That baby died over a year ago, he’s an adult that is absolutely impossible!” Giles argued with her, in disbelief by her claims. “That’s what we told everyone when we lost him…and now we

lost him again.” Willow cried as she realized all hope was lost, the chance of Theo’s redemption, the possibility of reuniting him with his parents, to get Buffy back, all that hope of any of that was now truly gone.

Although nobody knew it then their tears were well and truly wasted for Theo’s story was nowhere near its end, and as his seemingly lifeless body washed up on a nearby sandy shore in the dead of night the deliciously delirious and devilish vampire Drusilla appeared from a distance in full vampire form, walking over to the fatally injured slayer, picking him up in her arms lovingly, as if he was a baby, her baby, and in her mind that is exactly what Theo was. “Do not worry my darling boy mummy is going to make you all better and then we will make them all pay for the damage they have done to our family.” Drusilla declared to a seemingly lifeless Theo, ready to nurse him better, and then the games could really begin.

[romanticheartbreakprince]

All I wanted, was you.

Okay! So I quickly, but sort of carefully wrote this fic over the last 24 hours.

This is in dedication to @theobligatedklutz with it having been her birthday yesterday.

It’s quite cheesy, and not the greatest thing I’ve written (In my opinion) but it’s sweet, and that’s all I was really going for honestly.

So, now I present to you

“All I wanted, was you.” - A Tyrus fic

2,972 words.

( I apologize for any errors. I proof-read very quickly )

_________________________

Cyrus slowly walked through the halls between his two best friends. He clutched tightly onto his books in an attempt to not drop them as he did his best to keep himself awake. He wasn’t sure why he was so tired. He had gotten an ample eight hours of sleep, he had a well balanced breakfast, made sure to shower that morning, and even snuck in one cup of coffee that morning. Yet, he still had trouble keeping his eyes open.

It just seemed to be one of those days, where no matter what everything just kind of sucked. On the darker side of things, he had tripped down the stairs that morning, thankfully only from the second-to-last step, dropped half of his muffin on the ground as he was eating it, and accidentally dropped a good stack of papers from his bag when he forgot to securely zip it shut.

He groaned to himself, carefully opening his locker and replacing everything he didn’t need, for the items he needed to do his homework. He closed his locker, leaning up against it and closing his eyes for a moment in an attempt to get some sort of solace from his exhaustion.

“Does anyone want to smash their Algebra book over my head? I think that will wake me up.”  he mumbled, shifting himself on his locker to try and get more comfortable.

“Cyrus…” Buffy scoffed. “Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”

“Hmm… no.” he breathed. “Not if it wakes me up. Plus, it might help me with our homework this weekend."

“Yeah… it might also give you a concussion…” Andi said pointedly.

He shrugged, “A risk I’m willing to take.”

“What risks are we taking now?” A familiar voice came from behind him.

Cyrus’ eyes shot open as he spun around, a smile growing on his face “TJ, Hey!”

He was leaning up against the locker right next to his, one arm gripping onto the strap of his backpack, and the other casually in his pocket.

“Of course that wakes him up.” Buffy mumbled.

He shot an annoyed glare back in her direction before returning his gaze to TJ. He noticed the boy had the same sincere, soft smile he always did but for some reason his eyes seemed to be brighter, it looked as though TJ was genuinely happy today, which made his heart melt just a little bit.

Cyrus couldn’t help his feelings for the boy, and he wasn’t really sure when they started but he knew they had a connection that he couldn’t ignore. It was like everything made sense when they were together. Cyrus had been a puzzle with one pesky little piece that had been missing for far too long. Then TJ came around and suddenly fit right into place completing everything. Unfortunately for him though, he had to act like it was nothing because he initially wasn’t sure if TJ felt the same way seeing as neither of them had made any sort of move, and he didn’t want to give off the wrong idea, if he was mistaken. For awhile it seemed like there was a chance TJ had felt the same way he did, but ever since he had been hanging out with Kira a lot recently, it was pretty clear that TJ was just one of, if not his best friend. But he’d never tell that to Buffy or Andi. Plus, he was afraid of how they might react seeing as TJ wasn’t necessarily their favorite person in the world.

He knew there was more to TJ than he liked to show anyone, and he felt honored that he was one of the people he was comfortable enough to be himself around. He just wished he’d let everyone else see that side of him so they knew he wasn’t as mean as they believed him to be. He was working on it, but he still had a little ways to go. Cyrus had noticed that ever since the two of them had become friends, TJ had made slight progress towards opening up and being himself around others. And progress, no matter how small, is still progress, and he had that to be proud of.

Cyrus watched as TJ’s arm left the strap of his backpack and shifted over to grab hold of the silver cross that hung around his neck. It wasn’t until now that he noticed TJ seemed to be dressed nicer than his usual casual sportswear, wearing a white button-up shirt and dark blue slacks. He could feel the butterflies stirring in his stomach, and couldn’t help the impulsive control they took over his body.

“Wow.” the words escaped breathlessly from his lips before he even had a chance to think about it. Quickly realizing what just happened, he shook his head, bringing back his common sense before saying anything else he may be embarrassed about later. “You look nice today, Teej.” he smiled, giving him a playful smack on the arm.

“Thanks” he laughed, dropping his gaze to the floor as he kicked his shoes against the school’s vinyl flooring.

“What brings you over to our neck of the woods?”

“I was uh-” he stopped for a moment, his eyes remaining trained to the ground as his fingers began fidgeting with the silver cross. “I’ve got a thing going on at my place tonight...” He began, lifting his head again to look directly into Cyrus’ eyes. “Just a little family thing but uh- would you maybe want to come and keep me company?”

He wasn’t sure if it was because if he was suddenly lost in TJ’s vibrant emerald eyes, but he could’ve sworn he had heard a tinge of hopefulness in his voice, as if he was afraid Cyrus may say no.

“Of course, but- you’re sure your mom won’t mind?”

“Nah.” he huffed, breaking out into a grin. “She loves you, Cyrus. Probably even more than me.”

“TJ…” he frowned. “You know that’s know true.”

“I know, I know.” he smiled, returning the smack he’d been given earlier. “I’m just joking.”

“But sure.” he nodded “I don’t have plans, I’ll be there.”

TJ broke out into one of the widest grins he’d seen on him since his team had won their last championship game. “Cool, I’ll text you. See you tonight.” He gave Cyrus a pat on the shoulder as he walked off, letting his hand linger a little too long.

He watched as TJ slowly disappeared through the school doors, smiling sweetly.

“What was that?” Buffy asked incredulously.

He turned to her with a furrowed brow. “What do you mean? TJ just asked me to hangout later.”

“It honestly looked more like he-”

She was interrupted by Andi swiftly nudging her side. “What she means is that it was nice of TJ to invite you over. Right, Buffy?”

“Yeah, and I just remembered that Andi and I have something we need to do so we’ll talk to you later Cyrus!” she added, quickly grabbing onto Andi and dragging her off further down the hall.

Cyrus stood there dumbfounded, still trying to process anything that just happened. It was true, TJ did just invite him over, but he went to the Kippens house all the time. He was no stranger to TJ’s mom, or Amber. So surely this was just like a family night thing, and he wanted him to be there too. But as for Buffy and Andi, It was a little unusual for them to just run off like that. Perhaps they knew that he liked TJ? Did they know something he didn’t? He didn’t want to think about it too much. All he knew was that he was just going to spend another weekend at TJ’s house, just like any other.

--

Five o’clock rolled around, and Cyrus found himself standing on the Kippens front porch, eager to get his weekend started after a not so pleasant day at school. He was double-checking his text from TJ, making sure he grabbed everything he needed and was on time. He didn’t need to worry about that last one though, because when it came to TJ, Cyrus was always early.

He timidly made his way to the door, knocking twice. He wasn’t sure he why he felt so nervous. He had done this a million times. It’s just today- something felt different, he just couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

After a few moments the door swung open and Cyrus was greeted by the cheery green eyes of TJ’s mother.

“Cyrus!” his name left her mouth as if she was seeing her child for the first time in years. She stepped out onto the porch wrapping him in one of the warmest, most loving hugs he’d received in years.

“Heidi!” he coughed, trying to keep his breathing steady as he was being hugged to death. “It’s nice to see you again. However, I am dying.”

She let go of him, taking a step back. “Oops. Sorry dear! I’m just really glad you were able to come by today! TJ’s been looking forward to his b-”

“Cy! You made it!” TJ pushed his way past his mom, interrupting her and wrapping an arm around Cyrus’ shoulder. “At least let him inside first before you start smothering him.” With Cyrus in tow, he re-entered the house making his way towards the kitchen.

“Sorry!” his mom laughed. “I couldn’t help myself. I’m just really glad he’s here.”

A few minutes later they found themselves sat around the dining room table, eating dinner. The conversation went by casually, but quickly. Heidi asked them about their day, if Cyrus had any plans for the weekend, just the usual banter she held with the two of them. Normally their conversations included Amber too, but Heidi had informed him that she had already eaten shortly beforehand so she was just upstairs for the time being.

“So, TJ.” His mom began with a slight smirk on her face. “What are your plans for tonight.”

He shrugged plainly “Probably go hang out by the pool for a bit. Then come back inside and watch a movie for something.”

“And you’re sure, you’re totally okay with that?” Her expression became a little more concerned as if she was a little unsure of his decision.

“I’m sure mom.” he said smiling. “I got everything I wanted.”

Cyrus was sure the two of them could notice the puzzled look on his face, he wasn’t really sure what they were talking about, but he just went with it.

Heidi clapped her hands together, standing up from the table. “Well then, before you boys head outside do you have any room for some cake?”

Wait… cake?

“Mom, you know there’s always room for dessert!”

Was there some sort of special occasion?

“I was just making sure” she laughed.

It wasn’t Ambers birthday… He remembered Andi wouldn’t stop talking about it months ago…

“Girls!” Heidi shouted upstairs. “It’s time for cake!”

Could it be his moms birthday? No, surely TJ would’ve told him beforehand.

He watched as Amber and Andi entered the kitchen. Wait, what was Andi doing here? It definitely wasn’t her birthday. So what was this cake for?

Unless…

He watched as his mom walked over and set the cake down right in front of TJ, the big green lettering of “Happy Birthday, TJ” sprawled out across the front.

He felt his jaw drop as tried to process what he was seeing. It was TJ’s birthday? And he didn’t even know?

First and foremost, he felt like a terrible friend for not even knowing when TJ’s birthday was, but secondly how dare he not tell him beforehand.

“TJ Kippen it’s your birthday? And you didn’t even tell me?” He shouted.

He just watched as the boy shrugged, as if today wasn’t even a big deal. “I don’t know. I kinda wanted to surprise you. But it’s not that important.”

“Not important? W-what about all the balloons and decorations, and all your friends singing happy birthday all out of key- the candles and all of the streamers, the pizza and soda- all the presents- Oh my god! I didn’t even get you a present! I could’ve run to the store and got you something special, or baked you your favorite muffins that you love so much or-”

“Cyrus!” he shouted, placing a firm grasp on his arm, tracing light circles into his skin. Cyrus felt his tension slowly fade away as he looked back up in TJ’s eyes. “It’s fine, I promise.” A huge grin escaping onto his lips. “I don’t want any of that.”

“Wh-what do you mean?” he asked. How could TJ not want to celebrate his birthday properly? The cake, the balloons, the music and fun party games. That’s what birthdays were all about. Yet for some reason TJ didn’t want it? It just didn’t make sense.

“I didn’t want a huge party with all of my friends, I didn’t need over-the-top decorations, or a super fancy cake. It’s just too much. Everything I wanted, is right here.” He spoke so sweetly that Cyrus thought he was going to melt. It was nice enough that he was at TJ’s again, but on his birthday no less? He didn’t think this night could get any better.

“All I wanted for my birthday, was time with you.”

Until it did.

“W-what?” he croaked, his voice barely even able to form words.

“Aww!” the chorus of coos came from the girls seated across from the.

“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you. I knew you were going to make this a bigger deal than I wanted it to be. I just wanted today to be like any other day. I just needed you to make it special.”

He could feel the tears beginning to well up in his eyes. He had honestly never felt more loved, or wanted in his life. And this was all by TJ no less, the boy who he had been crushing on for months now.

He turned to Andi, voice still plagued with emotion. “And you knew about this?”

She just gave him a shrug, with a knowing smirk glued to her face.

He turned his attention back to TJ, running his eyes over his face taking in every little feature.

“I don’t know what to say, I know this is your birthday but… thank you. For making me feel special too.”

TJ smiled, pulling cyrus in for a hug, resting his chin on top of his head. He whispered just loud enough so that only he could hear.

“Sometimes, all I really care about is you.”

Cyrus didn’t even reply. He didn’t know what to say. He just hugged TJ tighter, hoping he’d understand that the feeling was mutual.

A few hours later, they found themselves out by the pool. Cyrus was sitting on the edge with his feet dangling in the water, watching as TJ was splashing Andi and Amber as they were trying to tan. He couldn’t help but stare. After what TJ had said earlier, he really believed there might be something more there. He admired everything about this boy. The way his eyes always seemed to be a little brighter whenever he was looking at him. How he always passionately talked about anything when Cyrus was listening, and the way nothing else mattered in the world whenever he was the one listening. Or currently how his wet hair was dangling in front of his face, and if he was close enough he wasn’t sure if he could stop himself from brushing it out of the way. The way he didn’t notice TJ swim over to him until he felt pressure on his legs.

He looked down to see TJ’s head resting on his arms which were being supported by Cyrus’ legs. He nodded over towards the space next to Cyrus, soft smile on his face.

“Is that spot taken?”

Cyrus chuckled to himself, before matching his smile. “No.”

He watched as TJ pushed himself out of the water, seating himself right next to Cyrus so that their knees were touching. He reached over and grabbed Cyrus’ hand, entwining their fingers.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, sending a chill down his spine.

“More than.”  he matched his volume to TJ’s speaking just barely above a whisper.

“Thank you for being here today. It means a lot to me.” He said sweetly, lifting his gaze to stare right into Cyrus’ eyes.

“I’m glad I’m here.”

“You know Cyrus I-” He began rubbing small circles into the back of his hand with his thumb. “I like you a lot. And I just want you to know that.”

“I like you a lot too.” he said, breaking out into a wide grin.

“Good.” TJ smirked. “Then it won’t be weird when I do this.”

He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss into Cyrus’ temple.

The butterflies in Cyrus’ stomach came back, and all of the heat in his body rose up to his face. He couldn’t focus on anything else except for the fact that it was official. TJ Kippen liked him back, and he was ecstatic.

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before TJ nestled his head into the crook of Cyrus’ neck. He kept rubbing small circles onto the back of his hand as they watched the sun set before them.

“Best birthday ever” he heard TJ whisper, to which he couldn’t help but smile.

And Cyrus learned something that day. You don’t need fancy decorations, or big presents, or a room full of people to have a good birthday.

All you need is someone who cares about you, just as much as you care about them. And that can make all the difference in the world.

[multimetaverse]

Wait the show changed Chinese New Years from 2017 to 2018? The timeline is messy lmao

Yes, originally the show was supposed to take place a little bit in the future, so it premiered in our world in April 2016 but the story started in September 2016 but later on the show decided to retcon it so that the show started in September 2017 in an attempt to keep ahead of our real world time which ultimately failed. That’s why instead of having the Year of the Rooster in 2x02 which would have been the correct lunar new year for 2017 they changed it to the Year of the Dog which was the correct one for 2018. The timeline is not as messy as people like to claim it is and there is a rough timeline for the series contained in the context clues in the dialogue as you can see when I lay it out in production order. Obviously we get scenes in 2b that should be taking place in late Spring clearly being filmed in Winter but that’s the price the show paid for filming on location in Utah and we just have to suspend our disbelief for that. 

1x01- Takes place September 28th 2017 on Andi’s 13th birthday. People get too hung up on the hospital bracelet dates, just spring it forward a year like the show did from 2003 to 2004

2x02- Takes place on February 16th 2018 as that was the date the lunar new year of the dog fell on.  So Cyrus coming out to Buffy happens in early to mid February

2x15 -  Takes place around April 20th 2018. We know this because it’s the day after Cyrus’ Bash Mitzvah and Buffy reveals she’s moving in ten days but Andi tries to get her to stay with Celia since there’s two months left in the school year and in America the school year typically ends around June 20th. So working backward we can tell that the Marty left sometime in March, the muffin scene was early April, and the swings and invitation scene were mid April shortly before the Bash Mitzvah.

2x21- Takes place around May 1st 2018 as Buffy moves as her 10 days are up. Now it wasn’t really ten days, we can tell by the number of weekends that it would have been closer to three weeks but that’s on the writers. The timeline get’s much messier after this which unsurprisingly correlates with the writing getting worse.

2x26- Takes place around June 20th as it’s almost the end of the school year. Buffy was supposed to be gone for two months but in the only Disney editing decision I agree with, they cut that title card from 2x22 when Buffy returned. That wouldn’t have really made sense since that would put her return in July after school is out but it is what it is. Jonah has already left for Frisbee camp in 2x25 despite school still being in session which I think was an artifact of Jonah still being a year older at this point and in some schools different grades may get out a little earlier.

3x01- Takes place around August 20th as it’s been two months since Jonah went off to camp for summer and the American school year starts around August 20th. Things get messier after this since technically 3x02 would have had to take place on September 24th 2018 as that’s the date of the mid autumn festival but there’s no way to make that work because of the info we get in 3x04. In the show’s timeline 3x02 followed quite closely after 3x01 as Andi is unsure whether to officially end things with Jonah despite trying to do so at the end of 3x01. 

3x04- Takes place around mid September 2018 as TJ mentions that it’s the third week of school.

3x07- Takes place around mid September 2018 as Buffy mentions she just founded the Spikes that same week and Andi refers to Jonah running off in 3x04 after she jokes about him liking someone new as something that happened the other day. Again it’s impossible for 3x04-07 to actually take place within a week given the number of weekends that occurred but we just have to roll with it.

3x12- Takes place in late October 2018. Jonah says that he learned a couple of months ago that his parents had to file for bankruptcy and that they would lose their house. Since he was gone all summer and 3x02 took place shortly after he got back we’re looking at 3x12 taking place two months after he got back in late August. 

The timeline is actually pretty smooth from here on out. 3x13 takes place immediately after 3x12 and costume day seems to be stand in for Halloween which fits with the timeline. 3x14 takes place right the weekend following costume day as Andi is just then telling her friends about the wedding, which was just weeks away according to Buffy, being cancelled. 3x15 seems to be the next weekend after that and 3x16 picks up the next weekend as the kids start their community service and then the rest of 3x16 and 3x17 take place in the same week or so of time. 

The cut 318 was almost certainly the next weekend after 3x17 ended as we know the Jamber breakup scene and Muffy friendzoning scene in 3x17 were re-shoots to replace scenes lost in 318. 3x19 must take place the school week after 318 as Buffy’s friends just then find out about her boot which Buffy didn’t have in 3x17. Buffy’s injury also makes for a nice way to track the timeline as we can see her foot get progressively worse over the weeks. 

3x19 must be late November as Andi says her SAVA application is due at the end of the month. 3x20 takes place shortly afterwards as Jonah mentions his family moving into an apartment in 3x19. And 3x21 must take place shortly after 3x20 as Bex and Bowie have their first dance as a married couple which puts the finale in early December 2018. Those pre finale texts make no sense as even stretching the time line ridiculously does not get 3x21 anywhere near the end of the school year and they deliberately put snow on the ground on the backyard set because it’s meant to take place in winter. 

So we have a rough time line for the show of September 28th 2017- early December 2018 from pilot to series finale. It’s not perfect and you can add or subtract a few weeks here or there but it works fairly well and follows what the writers told us in the dialogue.

[27emailsicantsend]

Ok so I read ur muffy second kiss fic thing and I got an idea but I suck at writing so I thought I’d ask you to write it lol but like the idea is that Marty is always trying to be the brave one bc that’s his way of showing Buffy that it’s ok to be emotional but one day Marty has a bad day and it’s Buffy’s turn to be the comforter (this idea might suck oop)

Marty’s Loss: A Muffy One Shot

“Yeah, ok, thanks for letting me know,” Marty said as he hung up the phone. He turned around to see all of his friends laughing and having a good time. They had decided to go bowling again, but it was starting to feel the bowling alley was jinxed. He watched as the rest of the world faded around him and his friends seemed to be in slow motion.

Andi was making jokes, smiling wide as she watched Cyrus roll the ball granny-style down the lane. TJ playfully smacked Andi’s arm with the back of his hand telling her to “cut it out”. Jonah was sitting opposite them, talking to Amber. They were having a light-hearted conversation. And then there was Buffy. She was so relaxed. Her black curls bouncing as she held herself laughing with Andi, TJ, Cyrus.

Buffy was so real and raw. Marty couldn’t believe they had already been dating almost a month. Ever since she admitted she liked him, she became more available emotionally. She was never really bad at this, however. She was honest when she rejected Marty (Marty shuddered as he pushed this thought away), bold when it came to standing up for her friends, straightforward with liking Marty, and he’d even seen her get teary eyed when she was afraid he rejected her.

All he did was joke with her or get serious, but never really spoke about what upset him. Even when he was rejected (shudder), he just pushed her away and moved on quickly to Rachel. Which he now acknowledged was an extremely bad idea.

Rachel was here last time and made the bowling alley an extremely uncomfortable place for him to visit due to the bad memories. He agreed to come though, in hopes that his bad memories would be replaced with new ones. They were new memories, just not new good ones, after this phone call.

He continued to watch from a distance when suddenly he saw Buffy smile at him and wave him over. He smiled and walked up to her. She placed her hand on his arm and quietly asked, “hey, everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Whose turn is it?” Marty said quickly, faking a smile, hoping to brush past having to talk.

The kids understood he wanted a change in subject and Cyrus said, “yours!”

Marty looked up at the score board. He and Buffy were about tied (since it was obviously a competition), TJ was in second, and Amber was doing surprisingly really well. It’s not that he didn’t think Amber would be good at bowling... well, actually it was. She seemed a little preppy for his taste and Rachel was too. Rachel wasn’t good at bowling because “germs” and not the right color of bowling ball, so Marty was surprised Amber was taking to it so naturally and easily. He liked this side of her, she showed progress, unlike his ex.

Marty bowled a strike with no hesitation. He walked off the platform as Buffy walked on for her turn, saying competitively, “Weak. I’ll do better”.

Marty tried to be flirty, but he knew that his comeback had a layer of sadness in his voice. “Nice try, Driscoll”.

The gang continued to bowl a couple more turns for each person. Even in one game of bowling, with this many people playing it took forever. They should have split the amount of people into two teams to make it quicker, but they all wanted to be on the same game, so it took a lot longer. Because of the time, Marty started to get pretty hungry. He walked up to the food counter and ordered some taco tots, Buffy’s favorite.

While he waited for the food, he heard a voice next to him, “one order of taco tots, please”.

Buffy.

“Hey, Driscoll, couldn’t stand to see my score so you had to walk away?”

“Wasn’t that what you were doing?” Buffy said with a polite grin.

They stood in silence for a second and Buffy turned to look at him again. “Marty, are you sure you’re ok? You’ve been really quiet since that phone call. I can tell something is up”.

“Buffy, I promise, I’m fine. Let’s just enjoy this time with your friends, ok?”

Buffy bit her lip, contemplating. She nodded and said, “ok” quietly.

Both orders of taco tots were set on the counter and they both walked back together in an awkward silence.

Marty continued to watch and smile, trying not to seem too obvious he was sad. He noticed Buffy look over at him a few times and even thought he heard Andi and Cyrus discussing him and Buffy having relationship problems at one point. They hadn’t had any relationship problems so far and Marty didn’t consider this one at all. He was just sad and needed space and he wished his friends respected that a little more.

The game was finally starting to come to a close and so he thought everyone was going to be done. They all wanted to play another game, however.

Marty pretended to check his phone and said his mom needed him home, but that they should all stay. He walked outside and around the corner of the building where no one could see him. He slid to the ground, pulled his knees to his chest, holding them with his arm, and then buried his head into his knees. He began to cry. A lot.

He sobbed and sobbed. It was a quiet alley way, thankfully. The bowling alley was far from a lot of people and he was hidden behind a dumpster.

He couldn’t stop crying.

He didn’t really have thoughts except for how sad he was and wondering how this could happen to him.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. He panicked, thinking it might be an employee and that he wasn’t supposed to be there. He wiped the tears off of his face quickly with his sleeve and stood up. The moment he stood up he came face to face with Buffy.

She looked at him tenderly and then wrapped her arms behind his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began to cry again. He sobbed into her shoulder. He didn’t feel embarrassed at all by this, surprisingly.

He was scared to be emotional in front of her because she already carried so much of that weight on her own. She dealt with so much. School, friends, Andi leaving, coaching... he just wanted to root her on and be a good boyfriend. He was afraid if he was too dramatic it might chase her away. That she couldn’t handle him being sad, because she already had too many emotions of her own and with her friends she had to deal with.

But this felt different. He felt a unique comfort in her embrace. One that said she wasn’t going anywhere- figuratively and literally. She continued to hold him until his crying slowed. When it started to slow down, he pulled away, their arms still locked in their same positions however.

Buffy gave him a small smile that seemed to say, “I’m here. I understand. You don’t have to talk, but if you want to. I’m here”.

Marty smiled at her and said, “thanks”.

She gave a polite chuckle and said, “anytime”.

Marty loved that about Buffy. She knew what to do and what to say. She knew her limits with him. He felt comfortable opening up to her. He had to at some point. He sat back down against the wall, extending his legs. He looked up at Buffy and patted the ground next to him, furthest from the dumpster.

Buffy slid down next to him, this time her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She laid her head down on her knees, looking at him with sincerity.

Marty let out a small breath through his nose and looked ahead of him as he spoke. He knew that if he looked at Buffy, he wasn’t going to be able to keep his emotions in tact.

“My mom called. My grandma has been in the hospital the last two weeks. She finally passed”.

Buffy could have said something during the silence, but didn’t. Instead, she just kept listening.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without her, Buff. I mean, I knew it was getting close, but I spent almost every weekend growing up at her house. Since my dad isn’t around anymore, she helped my mom to raise my sister and me”. Marty giggled. “She used to have a cookie jar. It had the same cookies in it my whole life, but my sister and I would fight over them every time we got there. We would race into the house. I remember grammy saying, ‘if you wanted the cookies so bad, you should have gone to the store and gotten them yourself, instead of running like heathens through the house’. Sometimes it had more colorful language than that, but you get the gist”.

Marty’s face dropped again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Buff. I am going to miss her so much. My grandpa is gone too, so now we have to clean the house, go through their belongings, my mom is going to have to do the work... on her.. own..” His voice began to trail as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Why did this have to happen?” He asked, rhetorically.

Buffy finally answered. She didn’t have to, but it helped. “I don’t know, Marty. I don’t know why these things happen,” she said as she scooted close to Marty, wrapping an arm around him. “But, what I do know, is that I’m here for you. We are all here for you. You don’t have to fight your battles alone. In fact, remember when we first started talking again?”

Marty began to chuckle, “yeah and I wouldn’t stop blowing up your phone? I had it so bad”. His face began to turn red.

Buffy laughed with him, “yes, you were pretty smitten, but I don’t blame you because I’m pretty awesome”. Marty rolled his eyes, grinning. “Anyway, that day I kept telling you I was busy because I was at Cyrus’ grandma’s Shivah. It’s a long celebration or ceremony they do in memory of someone who has died. It was a beautiful event and I think it really helped people to mourn the loss. What I learned the most from it, though, was that it was ok to talk about your feelings and to remember those people for who they were. It’s ok to be sad, but also don’t be afraid to remember her either. She would have wanted that from you, I know it. I also know she loves you very, very much and is so proud of who you are today. I couldn’t be more proud”.

Buffy learned over and kissed him on the cheek. Marty smiled at her, as a way to thank her.

“I appreciate you telling me that, really. I needed to hear it. I don’t think too many people will see this emotion out of me, though. That’s not really who I am and it’s why I kept so quiet today- sorry about that, by the way. Thanks for listening to me, Buffy”.

“You’re welcome. I can see how hard this must be for you and I appreciate you being vulnerable. Don’t worry, I’ll keep this between us until you’re ready. You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone”.

Marty knew that was true, and he knew she wasn’t going to run in and tell everyone what she just talked to him about. She was the only person who seemed to understand what it was like not to want to cry in front of everyone, because she didn’t do it often either. She was the only person who gets that.

[you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus]

Cyrus’ Dictionary

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14

Summary: Cyrus has always been good with words; there’s a reason English is his favorite subject. But with TJ, he seems to be at a loss for words. When they get paired up for a summer assignment, Cyrus slowly starts to build a new dictionary. One that involves TJ and everything they do together. Along the way, maybe he’ll find the words to tell him how he feels.

Chapter 14: Querencia

Word Count: 4570

Read on AO3

A soft pattering of rain tapped against Cyrus’ window, crescendoing and getting softer at random intervals. Cyrus was eventually made aware of this, but didn’t want to open his eyes. He felt warm, safe, and a little lethargic, so he wasn’t in the mood for moving. But once he opened his eyes, boy was he glad he did.

TJ, snoring softly, lips slightly parted, was mere inches away from him. He looked like an absolute angel, and Cyrus had to remind himself that staring was impolite. But he’s asleep, so how would he know?  He took his hand out from under the covers, reaching out and brushing a lock of the other boy’s hair out of his face. It was soft, delicate, and Cyrus thought if he even breathed, he would shatter this moment. He wanted to be bold, to lean in a little and give him even a quick peck on his head, but that would be weird, right? Wanting to kiss your best friend?

He sighed, pushing off the covers with his legs and being careful not to wake TJ. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he felt a rush of blood from his head, shutting his eyes for a moment to regain his senses. Standing up, he tugged the covers to make sure that TJ was warm, grabbed his robe, and quietly padded down the stairs.

Leslie was already there, making breakfast when Cyrus arrived. “Morning,” he yawned, stretching his arms.

“Morning sweetie,” she greeted with a quick peck on his head, “how’d you sleep?”

“Good,” he mumbled through a bite of toast, “so, listen. I know this is going to sound weird, but TJ’s upstairs,” he started, “he came over last night, and, well,” he sighed, setting the food down, “he told his mom that he was gay, and he kind of left,”

Leslie seemed to reply with a sad smile. “That’s terrible. No child should ever have to go through that,” she murmured, putting a few more slices of bread into the toaster.

“And I sort of let him stay here overnight. . .and I’m not sure when he plans to go back, but, is it okay if he stays here for a while? I just, I wanna make sure he’s going to be safe before he goes back,”

Leslie smiled, buttering the toast and putting it on a plate. “Of course,” she agreed, handing the plate to Cyrus, “give him some breakfast, okay? Make sure he eats something,”

“I will, thanks,” he returned, climbing the stairs again. Entering the room, he saw that TJ was still asleep, so he set the plate on the nightstand, and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“TJ, wake up,” he whispered, gently nudging him awake. TJ groaned, mumbling in his sleep.

I love you too. You’re so cute.

Cyrus felt his cheeks go red hot. He’s dreaming, he reminded himself, touching his hands to his cheeks in an attempt to cool them down. “TJ, c’mon, it’s time to get up,”

This time TJ reached his arms above his head, taking in a deep breath and puffing it out. His eyes fluttered open, revealing his brilliant green eyes once again. Cyrus really needed so have some self-control; soon he’d be getting lost in those eyes.

“Morning,” TJ mumbled, taking note of his surroundings, “wh-oh,” he remembered, a frown marking his face profoundly.

“I brought you breakfast,” Cyrus offered, handing him the toast.

TJ shook his head. “Not my meal. I’m not hungry,”

Cyrus persisted. “You are hungry, but you being upset is hindering that. Happens,” he explained, shoving the plate towards TJ, “just a few bites, please? I promise you’ll feel better,”

TJ scowled, tentatively holding the piece of bread that he thought would crumble before his very eyes with another touch. “Fine,” he grumbled, tearing off a piece and popping it in his mouth.

“So,” Cyrus started, flopping back onto the bed, “what should we do today? Probably can’t go to the park or anything, considering it’s been raining,”

“We can always invite people over and hang out as a group,” TJ suggested, finishing off his breakfast, “I don’t think we’ve hung out as a group in a while,”

Cyrus nodded in agreement, pulling out his phone and texting the groupchat.

journalism junkies

[cyrus: hey do u guys wanna come over at like 6 to hang out?]

“How are you feeling?” Cyrus asked, as if he was a doctor. He reached out, putting his hand on top of TJ’s, awakening a surge of butterflies trapped in his gut,

TJ shrugged, kicking the covers off. “Okay, as much as I can,” he admitted, trying to brush it off. He worried that he’d start crying all over again if he opened this wound again.

“You deserve the world, you know,” Cyrus mumbled, rubbing TJ’s hand with his thumb, “I’m really sorry about all this. My mom said that you could stay with us as long as you needed,”

TJ shook his head, rubbing his eyes with his hands; he really missed Cyrus’ touch in that moment. “I don’t want to impose on you guys,” he murmured bashfully, “I’ll go back really soon, I swear,”

Cyrus abruptly sat up, feeling the blood rush again; he had to stop doing that. “Are you insane? I’m not letting you go back until I know you’re going to be safe,” he said firmly, crossing his legs.

TJ waved him off, dismissing him as though he’d just apologized for bumping into him. “She’s not gonna hit me, Cy, I’ll be okay,” he promised him, but he didn’t mean the last part. I’ll be okay. Would he though? Not even he knew the answer to that.

“Okay, you’ll be fine physically, but what about emotionally? Teej, I don’t want you to have to suffer through living with her,” Cyrus worried, his teeth grazing his upper lip.

“I can’t just leave Amber alone,” he informed the other boy, shaking his head.

“Tell her she can come too,” Cyrus offered blindly, putting a hand on TJ’s shoulder,

TJ shook his head, placing his hand on top of Cyrus’. “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t have you just taking us in. It’s not fair to you,” he pointed out. Cyrus looked hurt at that, but TJ knew it was the truth; he already felt guilty that Cyrus was being so generous and letting him stay for a little while, but having him help Amber too. . .the guilt would consume him whole.

Cyrus frowned, gingerly removing his hand from TJ’s touch, and letting it fall into his lap. “I just. . .I wish there was actually something I could do,” he whined, screwing his eyes shut.

TJ placed a hand on Cyrus’ arm, using his free hand to lift the other boy’s chin. “You are doing something. Just you existing is enough, you know. I can be me around you, and that’s more than I can say about anyone. You’re the only person I can talk to like this. You’re…Cyrus you’re everything to me,” TJ admitted, feeling like his body was being pulled towards Cyrus’. Try and explain that one, physics.

Cyrus started leaning in, and for a split second, TJ thought he was going to faint or wake up from a dream where things ended happily and romantically. Instead, Cyrus pulled him in for a hug, rubbing circles into his back. It still felt really nice, having someone here for him.

“You are my everything, you know that? Without you,” he pulled back, lacing his hands with TJ’s, “I don’t even know who I’d be,”

Hot, hot, hot, hot. Fire. Warm. Heat. TJ comprehended what Cyrus had said, but all he could focus on was the budding heat between them. It was like they were a match and a matchbox, lighting each other aflame whenever they were together.

[andi: i’m down and so is amber!]

[walker: im there]

[jonah: if walker is coming, i’ll def b there]

[marty: party time laid ease]

[buffy: hm fine]

Smiling at his phone, Cyrus shut it off again, putting it aside. “They’ll be here at six,”

TJ nodded, rolling off the bed and grabbing his clothes. “I’ll change in the bathroom. Wouldn’t wanna give you a heart attack,” he joked, turning his back on a very flushed Cyrus. Shaking his head, the boy reached into the drawer of his nightstand, and pulled out his journal. He didn’t need help with this word.

querencia: a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

He shut it quickly, slipping it back into the drawer. Lord knows what would happen if TJ saw it and flicked through a few pages; it would progressively get worse, he mused. Shaking his head clear of negative thoughts, he sifted through his closet to get ready for the day.

“Left foot blue!” Marty called out over the music, struggling to contain his laughter as Cyrus, Buffy, and TJ all scrambled to try and move their legs. They looked like a tangled mess, each of them in a position that nobody would ever call natural.

TJ bumped Cyrus foot as they went for the same spot, and both of them came crashing down, ending up on top of one another. A chorus of gasps and ‘oohs’ swept through their friend group, effectively making their cheeks redder than the red dots on the Twister tarp. Cyrus giggles, sending TJ into a fit of laughter as well, both of them crawling off of the mat, and leaving Buffy alone.

“I win!” she cheered, collapsing to the ground with a soft thud, “I knew I’d beat you guys,”

“The modest Buffy Driscoll, ladies and gentlemen,” TJ teased, chuckling softly.

“What should we do now?” Walker asked, folding up the Twister tarp.

“Ooh, we could play paranoia! I’ve always wanted to play, but there’s never been enough people,” Jonah suggested, motioning for people to get into a circle.

“How do you play?” Amber chimed in, crossing her legs.

“Okay, so basically, you ask the person to your left a question, so like I would ask Andi,” he explained, “and you whisper a question in their ear, but the answer has to be a person. So like, if I would ask her ‘who has the prettiest hair’, she’d answer out loud,”

“Amber,” she replied, grinning like an idiot.

“But you guys don’t know what the question was,” he continued, “but you could! We flip a coin after Andi answers; heads she spills the question, tails she doesn’t,”

“Okay, but why is it called paranoia?” Marty wondered aloud.

“Because people are paranoid when other people say their name, but don’t know the question. For all the know, it could be ‘who would you kill’,” Jonah mused, shaking his head, “that probably won’t happen. Wanna play?”

Everyone agreed that this would be a fun way to pass the time, save for Buffy who was still riding the high of winning Twister. And even after Marty explained to her that there were no winners or losers of this game, she wasn’t totally convinced, even though she agreed to play.

“I’ll go first,” Andi chirped, turning towards Buffy and whispering a question in her ear.

Who is most likely to cry at movies?

Buffy snorted, crossing her arms. “That’s easy. Cyrus,”

Cyrus perked up, hearing his name. “Ooh, drama,” he exclaimed giddily, clapping his hands together.

Buffy rolled her eyes, pulling out a coin from her pocket and flipping it. All eyes were on the coin as it rolled on its side, and then landed on heads. A whisper of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ filled the room, a few people eyeing Cyrus.

“I asked her who would be most like to cry at movies,” Andi piped, up, smiling sympathetically, “sorry Cyrus,”

Cyrus crossed his arms in mild annoyance, tilting his head up. “I just happen to be a little emotional,” he huffed.

TJ reached over Amber and patted him on the shoulder. “We know. It’s endearing,” he mumbled, earning what may have been the most incredulous look from Amber.

“Okay my turn,” Buffy cut in, turning towards Cyrus and asking him his question.

Who would you go watch a scary movie with?

“TJ,” Cyrus said with confidence. Jonah gave him a knowing look but Cyrus chose to ignore it. He flipped the coin, and it landed on heads. Suddenly he felt a lot less confident about his choice.

“I asked him who he would watch a scary movie with,” Buffy cooed, poking Cyrus’ side, while he attempted to swat her away.

TJ felt pairs of eyes staring him down. His face was an unnatural shade of pink, and he prayed that this awkwardness would die out soon.

“Because he’d warn me when all the bad part come,” Cyrus cut in, as if he could read TJ’s thoughts, “and he’d buy me popcorn,” he added, dissolving all tension in the room as people cracked up.

Cyrus leaned over and asked Amber her question.

Who would you trust with anything?

“. . .TJ, I guess,” she mumbled, taking the coin and flipping it. This time, however, it landed on tails, and everyone groaned. Everyone, that is, except for Amber, who couldn’t help but smirk.

“Alright, TJ,” Amber rubbed her hands together, her nose wrinkling up when she smiled, “your turn,”

Who is someone you have something important to tell?

TJ looked like he was going to leap at her throat, he he managed to maintain his cool. Trying to act nonchalant, he leaned back on his hands, saying “Cyrus,” in the most casual tone.

Amber looked at him as if she’d just won the lottery. Handing the coin to TJ, she watched as he flipped the coin. . .and it landed on tails. “For fuck’s sake,” she muttered, giving him a gentle shove, as he was giggling now.

“Boo hoo, Bambi didn’t get her way,” he toyed, leaning over to Walker.

Who is the most trustworthy person?

“Jonah, obviously,” he replied, blowing him a kiss, which Jonah happily ‘caught’.

Walker flipped the coin, which landed on heads. “I think you’re the most trustworthy person,”

“Aw,” Jonah cooed, smiling so hard his dimples looked like crevices in the earth.

“It’s true,” Cyrus chimed in, giving him a knowing look before turning his attention back to the game. It didn’t go unnoticed by TJ, who lingered on this for a moment. Why was Jonah the most trustworthy to Cyrus? Was he not trustworthy enough? Was he embarrassed to admit it if it were him? Ah, the lovely process of overthinking.

“My turn,” Walker piped up, turning to Marty.

Who do you wanna travel the world with?

Walker pulled back, crossing his arms proudly and waiting for a name to fill the room.

“TJ,”

Well, not that name. Walker gawked at him, his gaze flitting over to Buffy for a split second before he shook his head. “Oh. Okay,”

The rest of the group looked confused and bubbling with excitement, all at once. Buffy appeared unfazed, TJ was on edge, and the girls looked like they were barely paying attention. Walker handed Marty the coin, who flipped it with the utmost care. It rattled on the ground, rolling on its edge until it landed on heads.

Oh no.

Walker swallowed, picking up the coin and playing with it in his hands. “I-uh, well, I asked him who he’d. . .want to travel the world with,” he said quietly, his cheeks going hot.

Marty didn’t flinch, instead lifting his head to meet Buffy’s eyes. “Yup,” he stated, popping the ‘p’ at the end.

Everyone tensed up. TJ felt like he was going to be the subject of an interrogation. He bowed his head, not willing to make eye contact with people. Cyrus did the same, but for different reasons. He felt like part of his heart was being torn out, and he didn’t even know why.

“What about Buffy?” Jonah piped in, and TJ wanted to just pull him out of the room. Sweet Jonah, ever the oblivious one.

Marty didn’t bat an eye, narrowing his gaze. “I don’t think she’d want to travel the world with someone that she doesn’t like,” he spat, watching her face contort into one of confusion.

“I never said that!” she shot back, crossing her arms, “I said I-”

“-doesn’t matter,” he cut her off, waving his hand to dismiss her, and clearing his throat.

Andi looked between them, before clapping her hands together. “Next question?” she suggested, and Walker passed the coin along. Marty turned towards Jonah, scowling.

Who is most likely to fall in love with their best friend?

“Oh, Cyrus,” Jonah answered smoothly, turning his gaze towards his friend. Cyrus didn’t even seem phased; his feelings felt so overwhelming that it was almost as if he was numb and on high alert at the same time.

Jonah took the coin from Walker, and flipped it. He groaned when it landed on tails, but he shrugged it off, passing the coin down. Cyrus was beginning to understand why the game was called paranoia.

Jonah turned towards Andi, asking her her question.

Who would you wanna switch lives with for a week?

Andi thought about it for a moment, looking around at her group of friends before finally saying “Amber,”

The blonde perked up at that, her eyes lighting up like a fire. She waited for Andi to flip the coin, which, fortunately, landed on heads.

“I asked her who she wanted to switch lives with for a week,” Jonah supplied.

Amber’s smile quickly faltered. “What?” she asked, “why would you wanna switch lives with me of all people? My mom sucks,”

Andi shrugged, knitting her hands together. “I know, I just wanna see what it’s like in your shoes,” she admitted, earning a few coos from the crowd, “plus, I’d probably get to listen to TJ talk about Cyrus,” she blurted out, clapping her hand over her mouth after she’d said it.

The room fell silent; even the music they were playing had stopped. Cyrus looked like he was going to cry, and TJ was worried that if his face went any redder, he’d burst. The rest of the crew looked around, trying to survive through this awkward bout.

“I mean, like, in a normal friend way,” Andi added quickly, but there really was no use in her saying anything else. What was said was said, and there was no way she could take it back.

Cyrus dug fingers into his palms, trying, in vain, to distract himself from what was going on. Everything seemed to be falling apart right before his eyes; not just things with TJ, but everything with Buffy and Marty. . .it all felt like too much. He could feel his eyes burning, his lower lip start to wobble, and his breathing becoming shallow. Before he could break down right there and then, he quickly stood up, bolting towards the bathroom, and shutting the door. He locked it, sliding down the door and holding his head in his hands.

“Cyrus?” there was a knock on the door, and then a voice. Andi’s voice.

“Go away,” he snapped, but there was very little edge to his voice.

“Cyrus, please let me in,” she pleaded, her hand on the doorknob. Cyrus rolled his eyes, even though she couldn’t see her, but he moved away from the door, unlocking it. She pushed through, and shut the door behind her.

“What do you want?” he retorted, crossing his arms.

“I’m sorry,” she started, her voice small and meek, “I didn’t mean to bring up you and TJ and-”

“-and my silly, stupid-ass crush on him, I get it. I fucking get it that it’s pointless because he probably likes Marty or some shit like that,” he spat, the curse words tasting a little strange. He never really used them, and heck, he usually reprimanded people for using them.

Andi looked taken aback, her eyes softening. “That’s. . .not what I mean at all. Marty?”

Cyrus glowered at her. “Travel the world, don’t you remember?”

“Oh,” Andi mumbled, “I don’t think he really meant that,” she tried to soothe him, reaching out her hand, but Cyrus pushed it away.

“Oh, really? How the hell do you know that, hm?” he grumbled, “you don’t,”

“Cyrus, please,” she tried, but he cut her off.

“No Andi,” he interrupted, looking like he was on the verge of tears, “I’m done with this. I’m done letting you guys convince me that there’s something else between me and TJ. I’m breaking my own heart loving him. For the longest fucking time, I was torn between holding on to what you were promising and accepting the reality that it wouldn’t happen,” he choked out.

“Cyrus, Marty and TJ aren’t-”

Cyrus put a hand up. “You don’t have to say it, Andi,” he said softly, “I care about him so much. and you know what people say about love; you do whatever is best for someone else even if it doesn’t include you” he whispered, his voice weak, and his eyes threatening to spill over with tears. Andi tried to say something, but Cyrus got up off of the floor, and left the bathroom.

He looked around for Amber, but he didn’t see her. Walker and Buffy were over by one of the couches talking, presumably about what had happened. Andi had walked over to Jonah, and her mouth was moving so fast that Cyrus couldn’t keep up with what she was saying. And, near the back of the room, were TJ and Marty. They were talking, yes, but when TJ pulled Marty in for a hug, Cyrus felt so small. He wanted the ground to come alive and swallow him whole. He wanted to block that out from his mind, but he knew that wouldn’t be happening anytime soon. Cyrus shook his head, running up the stairs and into his bedroom, shutting the door. He really didn’t to cry, but it felt like he didn’t have a choice.

Grabbing his journal, he started to write.

6/29

Today I invited all my friends over to hang out. We were playing paranoia, and then Buffy and Marty started to argue about their relationship. That wasn’t even the worst; Andi brought up me and TJ, and I just felt so exposed. I really didn’t want people to know about my feelings for him, but now I feel like they will. Things with Marty and TJ escalated, and I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more there. Andi tried to tell me that there isn’t anything there, but I don’t believe that. This is why I always want to lock all my emotions away. Because the moment I let them loose, I fall hard. I fall with no one there to catch me, so I hit the pavement and shatter.

Some of his writing had smudged, as a result of his tears. TJ and Marty’s names blurred into one blob. How fitting, he thought. His phone buzzed a few times, and he opened them, out of habit.

[amber: went home. hope things are okay <3]

[jb: walker n i left, lmk if u need anything]

[slayer: see u tmrw, cy, ily. sorry about the fighting]

[marty party: went home dude, hope everything’s fine]

[andi another thing: cyrus im so sorry about what i said. im going home, but i really want things to be okay with us. i love u]

Putting it back on his nightstand, he lied down on his bed, putting the palms of his hands on his eyes. There was a soft knock at the door, and then it opened. Why knock if you’re going to come in anyways? Cyrus wondered, sitting up.

“Hey,” TJ said softly, shutting the door, “you okay? You kind of disappeared,”

Cyrus really didn’t want to talk about it; he especially didn’t want to talk about it with TJ because he’d probably explode with feelings. And that was exactly what he wanted not to happen.

“I’m fine,” he snipped, clearly lying. TJ frowned, taking a seat on the bed with Cyrus.

“Okay,” he replied worriedly, “. . .do you wanna do something else?”

“Why don’t you go ask Marty,” Cyrus drawled, “I’m sure he’d love to do something with you,”

“What are you talking about?” TJ asked, “what do you mean?”

“Why don’t you lovebirds go travel the world together,” Cyrus suggested, bowing his head down.

“Oh,” TJ mumbled, remembering, “that’s nothing, really.”

Cyrus didn’t respond, instead remaining fixated on one spot on the floor.

“It’s. . .stuff with Marty and Buffy,” TJ explained, earning a nod from Cyrus.

“Ah, yes. Love and not love,” Cyrus mused, lying down on the bed. TJ leaned back as well, both of them now staring at the ceiling.

“Marty’s just pissed because he feels like his relationship with Buffy is in shambles,” TJ sighed, running a hand through his hair, “don’t tell him I told you that,”

Cyrus nodded, miming zipping his lips. “I think I’m going to turn in early,”

TJ bopped his head, getting up off of the bed and sifting through his bag.

“Hey TJ?”

“Hm?”

“What did Amber ask you earlier? When you said my name?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbows.

TJ felt his face heat up again, as he pulled out his pajamas. “Oh, uh, she asked me. . .who I had something important to say to,” he winced, hoping Cyrus wouldn’t press on.

“Oh, really? What is it?” Cyrus asked, suddenly feeling more alert.

TJ pretended to yawn, stretching his arms up above his head. “Can we talk about it tomorrow? I’m kinda tired,” he said, shifting his focus to his pajamas again. He hated lying to Cyrus, but he really didn’t want to get into this tonight.

“Oh, yeah,” Cyrus mumbled, disappointed, “totally,” he added, scooting over to the opposite side of the bed, and patting the spot next to him.

TJ crawled into the bed, frowning at the added space between him and Cyrus. He knew they weren’t fighting, exactly, but he could still sense something. He turned to face Cyrus, and sure enough, Cyrus turned to meet his eyes as well. God, he looked beautiful.

“What?” Cyrus asked softly, bringing his hand under his head.

“. . .nothing,” TJ whispered, smiling weakly, “night, Cy,”

“Night, TJ,” Cyrus mumbled, tugging the covers up and shutting his eyes.

TJ reached down off the bed and grabbed his phone from out of his bag. Sure enough, he had a text from Amber.

[andi’s girlfriend: jesus are things between you and cyrus okay?]

[Me: yeah, things are good.  how are things at home w/ mom?]

[andi’s girlfriend: weird. it’s weird not having u here]

[Me: whats she saying about me?]

[andi’s girlfriend: nothing really. she’s acting like nothing happened]

[Me: figures. i’ll see u tmrw?]

[andi’s girlfriend: night tj. i love u (and so does cyrus skdjfhdsj)]

[Me: love you too (platonically)]

TJ dropped his phone back into his bag and turned so that he was facing Cyrus. He was already asleep, his knees up in his chest, his breathing soft and slow.

“I love you, Cy,” TJ whispered into the night, pressing a kiss to his own fingers, and lightly touching Cyrus’ temple. Smiling, he tugged on the covers, and shut his own eyes, letting fatigue overcome him.

Tag List: @shortstackofpeaches || @seanna313 || @geekingbeautytx || @heavenlybyers || @ginnychrises|| @wlwandimack || @giocondasstuff || @lemonboytyrus || @adorejrizzle || @swingsetboys || @ifellintotyrushell || @idk-dude-17 || @rbf-lesbian || @marianara-sauce || @kaptainjinxz || @alex-poster-pizz || @quietmarvel || @blueberry-my-hero-macadamia || @broadwayitbitch || @tjsmuffin || @tjthekippen || @idpleasesir || @hi-hello-hey-there || @bingewatchingenthusiast|| @booklove-2 || @illbeyourreasonwhy || @birdiesandflowers || @whistlepunk || @phinallyjackie || @thedampjofangirl || @tyrus4eva || @tj-is-a-lemony-boy || @tj-goodman-bittersweet-boy || @dis-app-oin-tme-nt || @nessarinthegay || @breadisticks || @typewriter-riz || @gobletofash || @bluemuffinboy || @sofuuh || @cheesystars || @tjmuffin || @multifandom-bxitch || @allylovessadie || @hithatsmyname || @tyrusinarush || @tyrus-lookback || @gaycefulwords || @theobligatedklutz || @bambikippen ||

[thirteen-beaxhes]

Our Last Words - Chapter 2

Summary:  In a universe where the last words your soulmate speaks to you are printed, Cyrus Goodman wants nothing more than to never meet them. And he definitely doesn’t want it to be the blonde-haired boy in his class.

AO3 Link from beginning

Chapter 2 link

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Epilogue

~~~~~~

If I’m Being Honest - dodie

“I told you guys, I just don’t want to talk about it,” Cyrus said, trying his best to evade his best friends’ questions.

“That’s not fair! We told you as soon as we got ours!” Andi complained as Buffy nodded vigorously.

“And don’t forget who the first person was to know about. You know what,” Buffy said, her voice dropping to a whisper, her gaze shifting to her left forearm.

Buffy’s soulmate mark. It was different from Cyrus’ and Andi’s because she had already found her soulmate, and the word printed on her wrist had been said only 2 months after her birthday. It was Marty.

They had been the perfect pair, always competitive but friendly. Marty didn’t take long to fall for Buffy, but Buffy was hesitant. She wasn’t sure if Marty was her soulmate and she was in no rush to find out. When they talked after going on the fated VR Arcade double date with Andi and Jonah, Marty wanted to be more than just friends.

“We’re more than halfway.” Marty looked at Buffy from where he stood opposite her on the bridge. They had taken a break from their run to talk about the great day they had at the VR arcade. Well, great for them but not really for Andi and Jonah. Andi had spent the past night needlessly worrying about whether Jonah was mad at her for laughing when he fell. But Buffy and Marty had a ton of fun, being a virtual couple battling it out in alternate universes.

But Marty was talking about how they would be perfect as a couple, a real one. How they were already more than halfway there. And it scared Buffy a bit.

“But I like what we have,” Buffy said, walking towards Marty. “We’re Buffy and Marty. We get each other. We’re friends.”

As soon as she said those words, she could see the heartbreak in his eyes. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel the same way, she did. But they had time to figure out if they should be together, time to worry about whether they were soulmates. They had time to be friends and time to figure out anything else.

“And we can joke around, remember? Virtual couple?”

They had time, right?

“Feels more like virtual nothing.”

Those words. Those words are what truly broke their hearts.

The world didn’t change, the ground didn’t shift under their feet. She wished it had because then she would have realised sooner. But it didn’t.

It was only when she reached home afterwards and she looked down at her left forearm when she realised. Because the print that was bold and black that morning was now just a pale grey.

9:13. “Nothing”

They wouldn’t have time.

Consoling her afterwards was an uphill battle. What do you even say to someone after having found and lost their soulmate within 2 months of getting the mark? That’s why Buffy made a good point.

Cyrus sighed, rolling up the sleeve of his shirt to reveal the word and time. Andi looked at it and gave a sympathetic smile.

“Well at least it isn’t as tragic as mine?” she said, showing the small printed ‘Sorry’ under 16:29.

An uneasy silence settled over the trio, as often the conversations of soulmates did after Buffy’s experience. Cyrus was more than thankful when the bell rang, allowing him to rush off to class, away from the silence and tension.

*

“Happy Birthday Underdog! A big one, isn’t it?” a voice behind Cyrus came, as he felt arms hugging him from behind. Of course, he knew who it was.

Cyrus turned around, trying his best to meet TJ’s eyes as he beamed down at the shorter boy, while simultaneously trying to calm his racing heart. “Honestly, I could care less. I was not looking forward to it.”

“Soulmate marks huh? Yeah, the stress is unimaginable,” TJ chuckled, sitting down at the desk next to Cyrus. “What is it?”

“Only if you tell me what yours is,” Cyrus countered, knowing full well that TJ has refused this ever since his 14th birthday.

“Touche.”

“Thought as much.”

TJ laughed, his face scrunching up in the way that made Cyrus’ heart melt.

Cyrus was very much aware of his world-ending crush on TJ, and it didn’t fill him with the most joy. But it was impossible not to like him. He was everything Cyrus could ever love, and it didn’t help that he looked like, well, TJ, and Cyrus was just Cyrus. But he knew that more than anything else, TJ was his best friend, and he would never give that up for anything.

Just then, the teacher walked in, calling for silence. Cyrus tried as hard as he could to concentrate on what was being explained, but every so often, a haphazardly torn piece of paper would land on his desk, as TJ kept writing stupid jokes. Example 1:

“What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? DAM.”

Each one got progressively worse, and Cyrus really shouldn’t have found it funny. But he couldn’t help the way he was filled with that feeling of warmth that came from reading those words scrawled across the paper. That is, until he actually read the joke and almost choked trying to stop himself from laughing out loud.

Cyrus looked over at TJ, as he was busy thinking up another terrible pun to entertain and distract him with, and he could only wish one thing from whatever higher power there was in the world.

TJ Kippen shouldn’t be his soulmate. Because he couldn’t stand the thought of ever losing him.

~~~~~~

Hey guys, so my exams end in 2 days so the chapters can hopefully get longer. Hope you guys liked this chapter!

[supersleepygoat]

Finding the Something More

Pairing: Sam x Bi!Reader, Gabriel x Bi!Reader (all platonic)

Requested by Anonymous: Hey can I request an angst fix with a fluffy ending with either Sam or Gabe? Either the reader just came out as Bi to her parents who disowned her or she caught her girlfriend cheating on her??

Summary: You are having the worst week of your life. Your girlfriend broke your heart and your parents kicked you out because of it. To top it off, you get attacked by a supernatural creature. However, the men who save you from the monster may be able to save you in more ways than one.

Word Count: 2,599

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Violence. Language.

Masterlist

Submit your REQUEST here

You are sitting cross-legged on a park bench. The wood is wet from when it rained earlier and it’s making a shiver creep into your bones. You look over your shoulder at the twenty-four-hour diner across the street. You open your wallet. Somehow, fifteen dollars will have to last you until… until who knows when.

You grab your bag and walk over to the diner. You must have been too lost in your thoughts. You failed to notice the large stranger reaching for the door at the same time you had. When you accidently collide with him, you both apologize. He holds the door open wider and gestures for you to go through first, ahead of him and his companion. You offer him a shy smile as thanks and move into the dinner.

While you wait for your take out, the bell above the door rings and it catches your attention. The air in your lungs is all but kicked out of you when you hear an all too familiar laugh come in through the door. Against your better judgment, you look toward the sound.

Your ex-girlfriend is arm-in-arm with another woman, probably the other woman.

“Y/N?” your name falls from her well-known lips. Her voice is hesitant. It is as if she is uncomfortable seeing you so soon after everything happened. That makes two of you. “How are you?” your ex questions you with an awkward half smile.

You let out a humourless laugh. She ruined everything and now she wants to make small talk?

“I’m just great,” you finally gain the nerve to look back up at her.

“I heard about – Did you work things out with your parents?” She asks as if she doesn’t want to know the real answer.

“That’s really none of your business anymore,” is your merciful reply.

The woman draped over your ex tightens her grip on your past lover’s arm. She offers you sly smile. She is reminding you of her claim. It’s a subtle gesture that signifies her victory – and your defeat.

You push yourself off your chair and shake your head in frustration. You push past the two women who took everything from you and head for the door. In your haste, you bump into the same tall stranger from before. You look up at him to apologize, but the words are stuck in your throat. All of the rejection you had faced in the past few days, both from the woman you love and even your own parents, cripples your ability to speak. The man can see the unshed tears in your eyes. In empathy, his face falls and mirrors your own. He is about to say something but you slip away and leave the diner.

“Order up!” the waitress calls for you to pick up your much-needed food. But, you’re already gone.

Gabriel groans. “Why are we wasting our time looking for this kid, Sam?”

Sam rolls his eyes in response.  

“It’s one measly bag of fries! I think the kid can survive without it,” Gabriel continues. “She probably ran home and got her mommy and daddy to make her a new batch of fries. Let’s just go back and grab our food. The sooner we get back to the room and feed that brother of yours, the less bitchy he will be!” Gabe says remembering how grumpy Dean was when they left him back at the motel to go pick up dinner.

Sam continues to ignore the archangel as he looks to see which way you would have gone.

“Come on, Sam!” Gabriel whines. “I want you and your brother to finish this damn hunt, so we can move on! We don’t have time to go running after a random angsty teen. I mean, a Rugaru hunt is always a fun pit stop. But, we have bigger fish to fry! Or have you forgotten about my big bro and his plan to storm troop his way into our world and-”

“Do you ever stop talking?” Sam finally exclaims when he’s had enough of Gabriel’s ramblings.

“Nope,” Gabe says with a pop. “Admit it, you missed me. You missed this,” Gabe says as he gestures between him and Sam.

Sam only rolls his eyes, again.

Before Gabriel can start in on Sam again, the men hear scuffling and a short yelp come from behind the diner. Sam hands Gabe the bag of your fries and rushes off toward the sound. Now, it is Gabriel’s turn to roll his eyes. He opens the bag and starts munching on the salty treats as he lazily follows Sam into action.

When the men turn the corner, they expect to see the worst. Rugarus always leave a mess. Instead, they see you holding your own against the creature that was once human. A surprised Sam looks over to Gabe. The archangel merely shrugs with an impressed look on his face before eating more of your fries.

You may be a good fighter, but you are still ill-equipped to handle whatever the hell this thing is. Eventually, your attacker gets the upper hand and tackles you to the ground. Your squeak of surprise as the creature bares its teeth and tries to bite you, brings Sam back to reality. Sam lunges forward and pulls the monster off of you. You scramble backwards. You watch as the monster turns its deadly focus onto the tall stranger.

You are frozen in shock. But, it’s more curiosity than fear. You know you should be scared. That thing just tried to eat you. Yet, fighting with that freak was the first time in the past few days in which you weren’t stuck in your dark thoughts. Kicking that guy’s ass was an oddly satisfying distraction from your crumbling world. You were able to let out the pent-up hurt you hadn’t let yourself feel or even acknowledge. Also, you suddenly realize that there may be more important things in this world to worry about.

Sam is still tussling with the Rugaru. “Oh, for crying out loud!” Gabe exclaims with bored irritation. He throws the precious bag of fries onto the ground. Gabriel finally intervenes when Sam struggles to ignite his lighter. Gabriel effortlessly reaches out a hand and smites the creature. You watch as a bright light shines through the monster’s eyes and mouth. When the light fades, the monster crashes to the ground in a lifeless heap.

“Alrighty then! Now, that beastie boy here is taken care of, hows-about we get a move on. The world ain’t going to save itself from my petulant big brother!” the fair-haired man jabbers as he claps his hands together.

“Dude,” Sam whispers as he gets himself off the ground. Sam motions his eyes in your direction and Gabriel follows his gaze. You are still on the ground, sitting there stunned.

“Oh, right… I forgot about the damsel,” Gabe says with guilty eyes.

“I’m not a damsel!” you inform the men as you are broken out of your trance and get up to stand to your full height.

“My bad, doll face! Nice moves by the way, very Buffy-esque,” Gabriel sings with a wink.

“Um thanks,” you hesitate. How are these guys so calm right now?

Sam moves in front of Gabriel and steps toward you. “I know you probably have a lot of questions. But trust me, you’re better off forgetting this ever happened. I’m sorry this happened to you but it’s safer if you don’t ask too many questions.” Sam’s tone is comforting. Plus, the firm hand he places on your shoulder is more reassuring than you thought possible. Despite everything that has happened to you, you feel safe under his touch.

“That thing wasn’t human, was it?” you ask in fear that you already know the answer.

“Winner winner chicken dinner!” Gabe chimes.

“Dude!” Sam warns his friend to shut his mouth. You simply nod your understanding. Unfortunately, learning monsters are real isn’t even the worst news you’ve gotten this week. “Look kid,” Sam continues in a softer tone as he addresses you directly. “Maybe you should head home. Forget this happened,” Sam pleads. He doesn’t want you to know the full extent of what is really out there. Especially since he assumes you have an apple-pie life waiting for you at home.

You huff out a sad laugh. “Yeah, sure thing.” You offer him a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. It’s clear he wants to get rid of you. If these men can so casually kill a real-life monster, then they clearly have bigger things to worry about. They don’t need to know you have no one waiting for you. They don’t need to know that no one would have missed you, had that thing actually killed you. It’s better if you just get out of their hair.

“She doesn’t have a home, Sammy,” Gabe says as he picks up the discarded bag of fries and resumes snacking on its contents.

Your eyes snap up to the shorter man. “How do you-”

“Relax, kiddo. I know all sorts of things,” he winks at you and taps his temple with his forefinger. “I didn’t see it at first… but I hear you loud and clear now, darling,” the man continues. He stares at you as if he is reading you like a book. It is slightly unnerving.

Sam looks at the archangel, then back at you. You meet his gaze for only a moment before casting your eyes to the ground. “Is that true?” Sam asks.

You nod and shrug.

“What happened? Where are you staying?” Sam asks. If you didn’t know any better, you would say he sounds sincerely interested.

You flop your hands down to your side. “My parents, they like to say they are accepting and ‘progressive’,” you add air quotes to emphasize the ridiculousness of the claim. “But, when they found out their precious daughter is bisexual, their true colours shone through. And, their true colours weren’t in favour of the rainbow.”

You were hoping to leave it at that. But, the men only stare at you expectantly. Their eyes urge you to continue. It is oddly comforting to have someone listen to you, to care about your story. So, you continue.  “I came home a few days ago a total mess. I had just found out my girlfriend had cheated on me. I loved her but… yeah.” You trail off.  The idea of the woman you love wrapped in the arms of someone else, clouds your ability to think straight.  

“Anyway, I was too messed up to care that I hadn’t come out to parents yet. I just wanted them to help me feel better. But, when they found out that my heart was broken over a girl, they stopped trying to comfort me. As if non-heterosexual heartache doesn’t count as real heartache,” you scoff.

“Mommy dearest said this is a phase. She said there is no such thing as being ‘bisexual’. And, that I must be gay but am too chicken shit to admit it. My dad,” you voice breaks for moment. “My dad said that over his dead body is his little girl going to be with another woman. Only, he used much more colourful language. So, they gave me an ultimatum. Either I stay and be who they expected me to be or I leave and don’t come back. So, I left,” you try to shrug but the men can tell you are anything but indifferent. “I couldn’t pretend anymore.”

There is a moment of silence before Gabriel speaks up, “What dick bags!”

You cannot stop a small giggle from escaping your lips. “My sentiments exactly,” you agree. “But as it turns out, I may have made a mistake. They may not accept me or see me as having a legitimate identity. But, I don’t think I’m ready to be on my own yet.” You finally admit to both the strangers and to yourself.

“You never answered my other question,” Sam states with a soft voice. “Where are you staying?”

“Around,” you shrug again. Sam’s eyes bear into you. You can all but feel him pull the truth out of you with his pleading hazels. You sigh in defeat. “I found me a mighty nice park bench across the way. Well lit, not too uncomfortable,” you try to maintain a casual tone but shame slips out with your words. You’ve only been on your own for a few days. You are already out of money, have no friends to crash with, and to top it off, you got attacked by actual monster. This is not how you imagined your life turning out. “I thought about swallowing my pride, crawling back to my parents with my tail between my legs. But, that’s not me. I’d rather be on my own then live with people who can’t acknowledge me for who I really am. I know my heart is legitimate. I know I am worthy of something more than what they have to offer me.”

Sam runs a frustrated hand down his face. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“I’m Sam and this is Gabriel-”

“How do ya do?” Gabe cuts in. He bows with his greeting and it makes you giggle again.

Sam levels Gabe with a look that tells him to keep quiet. “Look, I’m sorry that happened to you. You don’t deserve that. No one does.” Sam places the comforting hand back on your shoulder.

“Yeah, screw them! Some people just act like dicks when they are forced to face something they can’t wrap their narrow little minds around. Remember kid, I know all sorts of things, and you’re the real deal. And, as for your girl? Her loss!” Gabriel interrupts Sam to speak his mind.

You can’t help but smile at his directness. You have been waiting a long time to hear someone reassure you that none of this was your fault.

“That said,” Sam continues once Gabriel finally stops talking. “You need to be somewhere safe. You can’t keep living outside. It’s too dangerous. We may have taken down this monster but there are always more. Not to mention, there are humans that may try to take advantage of you being out here on your own like this,” Sam says with caution.

“I can take care of myself,” you state firmly.

“Oh, we saw that clear as day, sugar,” Gabe chimes in.

“Being a good fighter isn’t everything,” Sam informs you. “You need people to back you up. Do you have any other family you can stay with?”

“I told you, my parents-”

Sam smiles and shakes his head. “Family doesn’t end in blood, but it doesn’t start there either,” Sam says. His smile grows as he thinks of the man who said first said those words.

“There’s no one. It’s only me,” you whisper.

“No,” Sam says in denial. “Look, I know someone who may be able to help you. She has a habit of taking in strays who need to find their way.”  Sam looks to the Rugaru corpse on the ground behind him. You did put up a good fight. He doesn’t want to throw you into the life if you don’t need to be. But, a roof, proper food, and Jody’s maternal instincts may be exactly what you need, what you deserve. No one will force you into hunting. Maybe you can get a job and help in other ways, like Alex. But, any way Sam thinks about it, he cannot leave you here like this. “You ever been to Sioux Falls, kid?”

Forever Tags:

@phonegalhelp @arses21434 @mogaruke @spn-ficfanatic @winchestersister55

[rhetoricandlogic]

Present Tense: The Sudden Appearance of Hope by Claire North

Niall Alexander

Thu May 19, 2016 3:00pm

Life is complicated—not least because it’s so frickin’ unpredictable. But there are a few things you can be sure of. One day, you and I will die; come what may, there’ll be plenty of taxes to pay along the way; and, as Isaac Newton concluded, for every action, an equal and opposite reaction will happen.

In real terms, that means that what we do dictates what is done to us. Hurt someone and you can expect to be hurt in turn. Make someone happy and perhaps they’ll pay that happiness back. This behavioural balance relies on our ability to remember, however. Without that… well, what would you do if you knew the world would forget you?

You’d let loose, wouldn’t you?

Hope Arden, for her part, does exactly that in Catherine Webb’s third novel as Claire North, which, like Touch and The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August before it, is an engrossing, globe-trotting interrogation of identity that sits comfortably between Bourne and Buffy.

For a while after I’d been forgotten, I toyed with becoming a hitman. I pictured myself in leather jump suits, taking down my targets with a sniper rifle, my dark hair billowing in the wind. No cop could catch me; no one would know my name. I was sixteen years old, and had peculiar ideas about ‘cool.’

Peculiar, to be sure, but so is Hope’s very particular predicament.

You’d be forgiven for forgetting someone you see on the street; even someone you speak to, briefly. But neglect to remember your best mate and that relationship’s in dire straits. Fail to recognise your son or your daughter and you’ve got a problem with a capital P. North’s poor protagonist has had to deal with that every day since she came of age, in her every interaction with everyone she’s ever met. Never mind the network of people she’d need to know her if she had a hope in hell of holding down a normal job: she’s a complete stranger to her parents, and her closest friends look at her like an interloper.

It’s a credit to her character, then, that Hope—”having no one else to know me, having no one to catch me or lift me up, tell me if I’m right or wrong, having no one to define the limits of me”—still holds the sanctity of human life in high regard. So scratch that career as an assassin.

Instead, she uses her inimitable anonymity to steal. Merely to make ends meet, in the beginning; to pay her way in a world that won’t notice in any case. But before long, she starts five-fingering bigger things—mayhap to make more of a mark. And she does… if only on paper. As of the offing of North’s new novel, an inspector with Interpol has been hot on Hope’s heels for years. He’s even caught her on occasion. Alas for Luca Evard, “a good man” by any measure, even he has forgotten that fact.

That said, there’s hope for him yet, because one day, his quarry does something… unusually stupid. In the process of planning her next theft, she meets Reina bint Badr al Mustakfi, and in her, sees someone sweet and sad and overshadowed. Someone like Hope herself, in short. Someone whose sudden suicide makes all that follows intensely personal as opposed to professional.

Had Hope spent a little longer looking into the organisation she holds responsible for Reina’s unfortunate fate—the all-powerful owners and operators of a pervasive program called Perfection, which functions like a lifestyle-based Facebook—she’d surely have realised what she was up against and stayed a ways away, but nothing’s going to stop her now. As planned, she nabs a necklace of diamonds from a party of Perfection’s finest in Dubai, but when she comes to sell her prize on the black market, she finds herself in the line of fire of a man who goes by Gauguin and has none of Inspector Evard’s integrity.

Hope barely escapes the subsequent confrontation, but rather than running from the fire, she strides straight back into it when someone with a similarly vested interest in tearing Perfection apart pays her to purloin the software at its centre:

It wasn’t merely the £1.2 million that Byron promised upon completion of the job that gave me a sense of ease; it was the job itself.

I was going to Tokyo to crack open the little piece of software that seemed to obsess both Byron and Gauguin, whose name had haunted me around my travels between the Red Sea and the Mediterranean. I was going to steal Perfection, and it was good.

On the surface, The Sudden Appearance of Hope is the story of that job, and though there’s a touch too much table-setting, it’s a tense and twisting thing when it gets going, complete with regular reversals and revelations that raise the stakes at the same time as changing the goals of the dangerous game our tragic protagonist is playing.

The emotional focal point of the fiction is Hope, of course, and her attempts to understand what’s wrong with her, in order to either correct it, or accept it. Initially, she wants nothing more than to make herself memorable—not a problem for North, I’d note—and for all the repellent tenets it represents, Perfection offers her that possibility… but at what cost? What is she willing to sacrifice simply to stand a chance of being known by her mother or a lover? And if she was known, would she be wanted? These are questions Hope wrestles with repeatedly, and they ground her comprehensively conflicted character marvellously.

The precarious situations she gets herself into in the interim, and somehow has to get herself out of again, would be more than enough to sustain most stories of this sort. But remember, readers dear: this is a Claire North novel. Claire North novels are shiny and exciting on the surface, sure, but they’re also progressive and introspective—as chilling, invariably, as they are thrilling—and The Sudden Appearance of Hope is no exception in that respect.

Not only does it underscore the superficial nature of the age we exist in, it also explores the notion of knowledge, sets its sights on the effects of hysteria, and—in extricating the present from the fug of the future by way of a perspective that lives only in the moment, a woman who is effectively “dead in all but deed”—exposes the absolute necessity of now.

I exist in this physical world as sure as stone, but in the world of men—in that world that is collective memory, in the dream-world where people find meaning, feeling, importance—I am a ghost. Only in the present tense am I real.

The Sudden Appearance of Hope is North’s longest novel, if I’m not very much mistaken, and I suppose some of the seams between its many sections show. Most notably, the first third is thick with plot, and other than Hope herself, the narrative’s other characters are nowhere to be seen until the second act starts.

That’s going to be too much for some, and not enough for others, but rest assured: North addresses both of these problems well before winningly bringing “all things [back] to where we had begun, back to Dubai, back to Reina, the summer sun and a bunch of stolen diamonds,” and in every other significant sense, The Sudden Appearance of Hope is effectively unforgettable.

[mindcluttermeltdown]

Different Song, Same Tune

    The binding is what hurts the most. They might as well have just locked us all up and thrown away the key, that would have been easier. Yvette shakes her shoulders, as is her habit when they ache. The carefully interwoven corset restricts movement so much that some days it is hard for her to breathe, let alone move about in a “normal” manner. And no matter how many times she gets the whole apparatus adjusted, nothing feels right. Currently, it feels as if something is bent unnaturally and all she wants is to have it checked or adjusted again. But she hates the way the drugs make her feel. Just the notion of having to be put under before her corset can be removed irritates the hell out of her.

       If she was allowed, she would have burned through the trap long ago. However, the monitor on her wrist would send volts of electricity through her if her temperature gets above 109 degrees Fahrenheit. Even running away is not an option. The monitor on her ankle would react the same as the bracelet if she reaches 30 miles per hour. They have to make sure that you can go slow enough to be caught.

       Yvette sits in the back of her classroom, listening to the latest rant her professor has prepared on inter-species relations. He's a racist son-of-a-bitch who is currently flying off the handle about the finer points of slavery. Apparently, the slavery of human Africans on colonial farms and young women in the sex industry is disgraceful and a horrible mark on the United States ’ history but, somehow, the subjugated labor forces of today are just mythopeople who are down on their luck and take pride in working for humans. Just the term mythopeople is offensive. Like, what the hell! Are we not real to you anymore? Of course, when you have a government run by idiots, how can you expect them to come up with an accurate name for your “kind”.

       There are so many of them now too, and all labeled according to how “popular” their species were with the general public before they proved themselves to be true. The vamps and the weres are, obviously, the most beloved. There was one good thing that came from Twilight (although most in the community burn those books on sight and prefer to be associated with the works of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or even The Vampire Diaries and Teen Wolf). The merpeople and sirens were the next ones that found favor with the public. From there on it got progressively worse.

       The one word Yvette hates the most is ‘exotic’; it's just a code word for sexually desirable. Yvette has been called that many times, especially by creeps looking for a good time. I’m a person, not a tropical island plant! She shouts in her mind, and only occasionally out loud; that depends on how tired she is. As a nocturnal creature, Yvette loathes being awake in the daytime, but does it for the sake of “normality”. Not that she has much of a choice: mythopeople caught out super late are detained and forced to take sedatives so they sleep until morning. A forced sleep is the worst sleep. Yvette has been under twice—the police drug is worse than the adjuster’s drug—and is not looking for a third.

       The nightmares that come with a forced sleep are always horrifying. Although, some of them are not too far off from the truth. Yvette glances around the room and wonders how many other people are like her. How many in this room are forced to change to make the humans, the "normal" people, feel better about themselves? At least when mythopeople were in hiding, the way they policed themselves was under their terms. I wouldn’t have to wear this damn corset, that’s for sure.

       Professor Bound rages on as if the entirety of reality had imploded in on itself when the mythopeople came forward. The reality is though, not much has changed, at least not for humans. To them, the only thing that's changed is the knowledge of other creatures and occasionally seeing some in public. Otherwise, they eat, sleep, and shit just like they did before. The greatest change for them is in their thoughts: instead of “Is that person crazy?” it's “Is that person a banshee?” or some other bullshit like that. It's all bullshit.

       Part of the reason mythopeople came forward is that equality between the different skin tones had finally been reached. If humans had finally figured out how to see each other as individuals, perhaps they could see mythopeople that way too. Boy, were we wrong.

       Yvette gazes out the window. The sky is a brilliant blue with strokes of clouds painted across the azure canvas. There are small puffs that skate across her view, gliding on a smooth breeze. The tops of trees wave as the baby clouds go by, greeting them with a quiet whispering of needles and leaves. Beams of sunlight interweave themselves with the branches causing shifting shadows to play on the ground.

       A bird flies by the window: its wings outstretched. Yvette can see the feathers rustle in the breeze. The bird blinks. She swears it's smiling.

       Her back arches, her own pair of wings throbbing, and tears build in her eyes. I’ll never know that.

       A sudden exclamation from Professor Bound gathers the attention of everyone in the room. He's standing on a chair, his cricket bat raised high as he babbles about gun control. Everyone returns to their personal fancies.

       Yvette’s bird is gone. She resigns herself to sketching it in her notebook. There's nothing else to do. 

[marigoldbaker]

s3e6: band candy

synopsis: giles eats a lot of chocolate and inadvertently sets his romantic progress with jenny back by, like, a lot. whoops.

INT. COMPUTER LAB — MORNING

Jenny is attempting to attach a large rainbow flag to the wall above the chalkboard, balanced precariously on a ladder while Giles hovers anxiously. Willow, Buffy, Oz, and Xander are all watching with a mixture of amusement and worry (and, in Willow’s case, a shy appreciation).

GILES

This really is a bit much.

JENNY

Solidarity, Rupert! Did they not have pride in England?

GILES

Of course we had pride, just not above the chalkboard. You’re four foot tiny and you’re going to fall.

JENNY

I am five foot six, Rupert, and bisexual, and I can attach a rainbow flag to your forehead if I feel like it.

Oz gently knocks Willow’s shoulder.

OZ

Told you they’d all be cool about it.

WILLOW

(shy)

You’ve been really cool about it too, so — thank you.

OZ

I care about you a lot, Willow. I’d never want to keep you in a relationship you’re not feeling.

Willow knocks Oz’s shoulder back, and they smile at each other.

At the front of the classroom, the ladder wobbles, and Jenny falls neatly forward into Giles’s arms, knocking them both to the ground. The rainbow flag falls gracefully on top of them.

BUFFY

Talk about a rainbow connection.

Giles and Jenny stay there for a moment, staring nervously at each other, and then Jenny awkwardly pulls herself to her feet, dusting herself off and trying to look casual. Giles follows suit.

JENNY

(too loudly)

So! I might go ask one of the taller teachers to try and put up that flag, because it seems like I might not be able to right now without falling for Rupert. On Rupert! Falling on Rupert.

GILES

(also too loudly)

That sounds like an excellent idea, Jenny. I wholeheartedly encourage that idea. I’ll make tea.

Giles and Jenny all but run out of the room, forgetting completely about the flag and the ladder. The kids exchange looks.

XANDER

Is it just me, or have they gotten even worse since Homecoming?

OZ

The tension’s off the charts.

WILLOW

Cordelia and I were trying to fix things, not make them worse.

BUFFY

You know what makes things better?

XANDER

Don’t say band candy, Buffy.

BUFFY

Band candy! I bet I can turn that into a sales pitch.

WILLOW

Are you really using Giles and Ms. Calendar’s sexual tension as an excuse to sell them both candy?

BUFFY

Yes. Also, please never use the phrase “sexual tension” in a sentence including Giles. Worst sentence ever.

EXT. COURTYARD OUTSIDE OF GILES’S PLACE — AFTERNOON

Jenny and Faith are walking home, each of them holding a large box of band candy.

FAITH

Great way to start my first week at Sunnydale High. Loaded up on a bunch of candy there’s no way I can sell.

JENNY

You know I’m buying these, right?

FAITH

(startled)

You don’t have to—

JENNY

I know. But I like candy, and I’m always about supporting…

(significant pause)

…you know. The band.

FAITH

(a little shy)

Well, the band’s cool with that. The band hasn’t had support in a while, actually, so the band’s really down for being supported.

JENNY

Yeah, I picked that up pretty fast.

They smile at each other as they reach Giles’s apartment. Jenny shifts her box a bit so she can knock on the door, and Giles opens it just as she’s about to.

JENNY

Wow. You’ve got a whole sixth sense going.

Giles smiles a little and takes the box from Jenny, stepping aside so that she and Faith can enter.

INT. GILES’S APARTMENT — AFTERNOON — CONTINUOUS

GILES

We’re accumulating rather a lot of candy. Buffy sold me some at lunch.

JENNY

The girl’s got entrepreneurial spirit. Can’t say I’m not impressed.

FAITH

(teasing)

What about me?

JENNY

Hey, you’ve got something better.

FAITH

A comfy couch?

JENNY

A bunch of actually cool clothes that just came in thanks to the Council. Apparently, it’s in their best interests to financially support Potentials. They’re all in Rupert’s room—

Faith stares.

FAITH

What kind of clothes?

JENNY

I picked them out.

Without hesitation, Faith drops her box of candy and sprints up the stairs to Giles’s bedroom. Jenny and Giles exchange a smile.

GILES

You do have an eye for style.

JENNY

(flipping her hair)

Thank you.

GILES

(plucking up his courage)

Jenny, I’ve been meaning to ask you—

This is, of course, when Faith comes back downstairs, looking genuinely delighted and much more like the sixteen-year-old girl she is. She’s wearing an oversized leather jacket that looks very much like one Jenny owns. Giles looks crestfallen at the interruption.

FAITH

This one’s yours, isn’t it?

JENNY

Figured you might want at least one hand-me-down.

FAITH

This is awesome.

(to Giles)

Can I have a candy bar?

GILES

You’ll spoil your dinner, Faith, get something healthy from the kitchen.

Faith makes a face, but obliges. Jenny pats Giles on the shoulder.

JENNY

Unbelievably, I’m feeling like something healthy too. Maybe I’ll start in on the chocolate tomorrow.

GILES

(a little dismal)

Sounds reasonable.

JENNY

You okay?

GILES

Wonderful.

Jenny wavers, then follows Faith into the kitchen. Their cheerful voices can be heard, indistinctly, in the background, as Giles opens up one of the boxes, removes a candy bar, unwraps it, and takes a large bite.

INT. GILES’S BEDROOM — EARLY MORNING

Giles and Jenny are asleep under the covers, Jenny cuddled in Giles’s arms. There’s a half-eaten candy bar on the bedside table next to Giles. The alarm goes off, and Giles sort of hits at it without letting go of Jenny. Without moving, Jenny yawns.

GILES

(bleary)

Let’s just blow off work today.

JENNY

God, I wish we could do that.

GILES

Why can’t we? All I’ve got is study hall and some filing to do, no one would even miss me if I took one little day off—

Jenny smiles a little, moving closer to Giles.

JENNY

I like that. Keep talking like that.

GILES

I like you this close. How’s that?

Jenny opens her eyes all the way, looking surprised but definitely not displeased.

JENNY

Wow, someone definitely woke up on a different side of the bed than usual. Not that I, um, mind—

The alarm starts going off again. Giles, indignant, lets go of Jenny to properly turn it off, letting her fall back into the pillows as he does so.

GILES

Bloody buggering fuck—

JENNY

Is all good over there?

GILES

Just a minute, Calendar.

Jenny looks somewhat concerned, but decides to leave the matter alone for the time being. She gets out of bed, crossing to the dresser and beginning to sort through her clothing as Giles continues to work at the alarm.

GILES

I think I am going to blow off work.

JENNY

Cool. You do that. I have to check in with Willow about starting a GSA, and maybe talk to Snyder about him trying to get me to pass all students who are on an athletics team regardless of what their grades are, and, and—

(stops)

You know what? I think I might want to blow off work too, a little.

GILES

(nonchalant)

Don’t have to make a decision now. Just relax. Have some candy. I had a bunch last night.

Jenny considers this.

JENNY

God, I wish I could, but I think I’m gonna have to be responsible—

Giles stands up, crosses the room to Jenny, tugs at the waistband of her shorts until she turns, and kisses her, passionate and persistent. Jenny is taken by surprise at first, but kisses him back, standing on tiptoe until Giles lifts her off her feet. She pulls back, frowning.

JENNY

Rupert, seriously. What’s up with you?

GILES

I think you’re incredibly fucking beautiful, s’all. That so hard to believe?

Jenny stares at him, then gives him this fluttery, shy smile, resting her forehead against his. The easy grin on Giles’s face flickers and softens very slightly.

JENNY

Um, I really do have to go.

GILES

Right.

Giles carefully puts Jenny down, hesitates, then kisses her again. They’re both smiling a little nervously when he pulls away.

JENNY

Hang tight, okay? I’ll be right back.

GILES

I’ll be here.

Jenny turns, walking down the stairs with something of a spring in her step. The shower is running, and the downstairs light is on; Faith most likely got up while Jenny and Giles were kissing. Crossing the living room to enter the kitchen, Jenny is having trouble suppressing her grin.

JENNY

(to herself)

Rupert and I just totally made out.

(giggles)

God, I sound like a teenager.

INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM — DAY

Jenny has a bright, sunny smile on her face as she waltzes into study hall. She’s wearing one of Giles’s sweaters and a beat-up pair of jeans, and she’s got her bag slung casually over her shoulder.

BUFFY

Anyone notice anything a little weird about Ms. Calendar?

XANDER

We talking the over-the-top smiling or the very Giles-y sweater?

Behind him, Willow and Cordelia exchange a wide-eyed look.

JENNY

(to the class)

All right! I’m super not interested in leading study hall, so if everyone just wants to pretend to read or whatever till Snyder’s gone, that’s great, because I, uh,

(grinning)

I have somewhere to be. So.

BUFFY

(to Xander)

I’m talking that kind of weird.

WILLOW

(to Cordelia)

Do you think maybe Giles and Ms. Calendar finally—

CORDELIA

That doesn’t clock. Giles is still doing a crazy amount of repressing.

WILLOW

(doubtful)

You could be wrong.

CORDELIA

Was I wrong about Ms. Calendar?

WILLOW

There were extenuating circumstances there, I don’t think—

Up at the front of the classroom, Jenny takes out a bar of band candy, starts to open it, then giggles dizzily.

JENNY

(to herself)

God, I am way too keyed up to eat!

INT. GILES’S PLACE — DAY

Jenny opens the door. She’s fixed her hair and applied lipstick since last we saw her, and looks all kinds of excited and shy as she steps into the living room. Taking in the scene, her smile flickers slightly.

JENNY

Joyce?

Giles and Joyce break apart, Joyce giggling nervously. Giles blinks at her, nonplussed.

GILES

(sheepish)

Thought you said you wouldn’t be in.

Jenny looks, for a moment, incredibly hurt. Then she nods stiffly, pressing her lips together.

JENNY

Rupert, for your sake, I hope that there’s something supernatural going on right now.

GILES

And if there’s not?

JENNY

If there’s not—

She forces a smile, then turns, leaving the apartment.

EXT. GILES’S APARTMENT — DAY — CONTINUOUS

Jenny waits until the door is completely shut, then scrubs violently at her face, wiping off the lipstick on Giles’s sweater-sleeve. She looks down at it, then rubs it in a little more, trying to get it to stain.

JENNY

If there’s not, that’s the last damn kiss you’re getting out of me, you, you—

(exhales, thinking)

But there has to be. Because he wouldn’t do that.

BUFFY

Ms. Calendar?

Jenny jumps, turning. Buffy’s standing in the courtyard, looking a little puzzled.

JENNY

Oh. Hey, Buffy.

BUFFY

You’re not usually one to blow off study hall. What gives?

JENNY

(avoiding the question)

Grown-up stuff.

BUFFY

I’m going to assume you mean you and Giles and move on.

JENNY

Wouldn’t be inaccurate.

BUFFY

Speaking of Giles, you seen him around lately? It’s not like him to blow off work, even if he did call in.

JENNY

(slow, delighted)

You’re right. You’re right. It isn’t like him.

BUFFY

You good?

JENNY

He’s been weird since this morning, I think, I don’t know what’s up but it is definitely not normal!

(over the moon)

Rupert’s probably affected by some weird magic thing!

BUFFY

Um, isn’t that usually not a good thing?

JENNY

Oh, believe me, in this case it’s definitely something good. I think this merits a little more research.

BUFFY

About what? Giles acting weird? We could always just ask him—

She makes a move towards Giles’s apartment, but Jenny catches her arm.

JENNY

You know what? Let’s head back to the library! Maybe he’s there. He’s probably there. Let’s go there.

BUFFY

What’s up with you? You’re being just as weird as Giles today.

JENNY

(indignant)

As weird as Rupert? I didn’t overdo it on chocolate and make out with my best friend apropos of nothing—

Jenny stops, then winces — she didn’t want to say that. Buffy stares.

BUFFY

Oh my god. Oh my god, that’s why you’re wearing Giles’s sweater and you wanted to blow off study hall and you came in smiling! Oh my god—

JENNY

Listen—

BUFFY

Wait. Overdo it on chocolate?

INT. THE BRONZE — NIGHT

Buffy, Jenny, and Willow enter, still in conversation.

BUFFY

And you’re sure you don’t know where the chocolate came from?

JENNY

All Snyder said at the faculty meeting was that he got it through the school board.

WILLOW

And you didn’t have any.

JENNY

I was kind of, um, preoccupied.

Buffy and Willow exchange a look, then start to register the unusually middle-aged patrons.

BUFFY

Looks like you might have been the only one.

EXT. WAREHOUSE LOADING DOCK — NIGHT

Buffy, Jenny, and Snyder all hurry out of Jenny’s badly dented car and towards the warehouse. Snyder immediately goes for the candy. Buffy and Jenny walk past a couple making out, then stop, staring first at the couple and then at each other.

JENNY

(resigned)

Rupert.

BUFFY (horrified)

Mom!

GILES

Go ‘way. We’re busy.

They keep kissing. Buffy grabs them each by an arm and pulls them away from the crowd.

JOYCE

Hey!

BUFFY

Mom—

(notices)

Where'd you get that coat? Never mind, listen to me—

Giles pulls roughly out of Buffy's grasp. He balls up his fists.

JENNY

Wow, smart. Fighting a Slayer. Not like that could go incredibly wrong.

BUFFY

(to Jenny)

Don’t encourage him!

JENNY

(vindictive)

He’s being an idiot!

BUFFY

I’m not disputing that, just — I need to talk to my mom, okay?

Giles is a little taken aback at being ignored, and more than a little annoyed by it. He takes a few steps back, but in the coolest possible way, as though trying to make it clear that the fight’s over because he’s decided it.

As Buffy turns to her mother, Jenny steps up and in front of Giles.

JENNY

(quiet)

I’m kind of really mad at you.

GILES

(annoyed)

You said you didn’t want to blow off work, I thought—

Jenny’s expression changes as she consciously realizes for the first time that this isn’t her Giles.

JENNY

Yeah. You know what? You’re right. I did say I didn’t want to blow off work, and we’re all — uh — teenagers here, I guess, so you aren’t at all at fault for kissing Joyce.

GILES

Damn straight.

Jenny still looks somewhat conflicted, but she seems relatively satisfied with this resolution, moving away from him to help Buffy.

INT. LIBRARY — MORNING

Giles, looking more stiffly dressed than usual, is drinking a cup of tea behind the checkout counter. He looks like he’s been up all night. Maybe fighting a demon. Maybe in the sewer.

The library doors open and Jenny steps in, looking incredibly apprehensive. Seeing her, Giles slowly places his tea down, never taking his eyes off her.

JENNY

I woke up and you still weren’t there, I thought—

GILES

I, um, ended up sleeping on the couch. I think Faith stayed over at Buffy’s.

JENNY

Oh.

There’s a very awkward silence. Then:

JENNY

(re: Giles and Joyce)

Listen, it was just a kiss, and it was obviously under the influence of some very, very strong band candy, I’m seriously not upset about it at all, I just think maybe—

GILES

(re: himself and Jenny)

I mean, you have reason to be upset. That kiss was completely unwarranted and without any warning—

JENNY

(re: Giles and Joyce)

Rupert, it was really just a kiss. It didn’t mean a thing to me.

(wary)

And it didn’t to you either, right?

Giles looks stunned, then very sad. He nods stiffly, picking up his tea again and doing his best to look unaffected. It isn’t really working.

GILES

No, of course. Friends kiss friends all the time.

Jenny stares at him, then realizes what he thought she was saying.

JENNY

No, Rupert, I meant—

GILES

(overcompensating)

Really, Jenny, we’re on the exact same page. You’re my best friend, and, and I was a bit of a disaster when I was in my teens. Went around kissing pretty much anyone, as it happens. And like you said, we, we were both under the influence—

Jenny frowns, opens her mouth, closes it again, and decides to take the easy out.

JENNY

Yeah. That band candy really did do a number on both of us.

[mj-spooks]

Tag Meme: 10 Badass Ladies

rReally the prompt was just ‘ten favorite female characters in different fandoms’ but my female favorites are automatically badass so there @not-actually-ur-sassygayfriend I hope you enjoy

1. Minerva McGonagall, Harry Potter. Okay, look, Jo’s done and said some really stupid shit the last couple of years but I stand by Minnie, aka the one thing she did right (well one of two things, Hagrid also exists). McGonagall takes no shit and gets shit done. She loves fiercely but doesn’t let that love make her weak or afraid, instead she turns it into the strength she needs to do what’s right. Truly an idol. #goals

2. Harley Quinn, DC. It should be no secret to anyone that I love me some Harley. Right off the bat lemme be clear, I do not ship her with Joker. I stand firmly on the ground that, as I’ve seen said before, he is her origin story, not her love interest. And what an origin story! Harley is awesome. She’s wicked smart, smarter than most anyone thinks because she never lets on so that she can use it to her advantage later. She’s been through a lot of shit and deserves credit for how hard she’s worked to come out on top.

3. Michonne, The Walking Dead (tv). Don’t get me wrong, I love her in the comics too, I’m just not as into that version. The show version, on the other hand, is everything I wish I could be in the zombie apocalypse (and everything I know I would totally not even remotely be). She’s strong, determined, loyal, brave, I could go on. And in spite of everything she’s been through, she manages to retain her empathy and her heart. She loves just as hard as she fights.

4. Parker, Leverage. First of all, every character on Leverage is the best character. So it’s a hard fight for me to choose between Parker and Sophie. But, at the end of the day, I love Parker in a way I don’t love Sophie, because when it all starts out she doesn’t even remotely have her shit together. She’s a mess. She’s awkward as hell and has no social skills, highly intelligent and yet exceptionally naive, and overall can someone please just give her all the hugs she ever should’ve gotten in her childhood because for real. Watching her grow and learn to let people in as the show progresses warms my soul. Also, she’s frikkin adorable.

5. Cordelia Chase, Buffyverse. This one was also hard! I love all my Buffy ladies in different ways. That said, I think Cordy was the one that had the strongest growth up until Joss Whedon got pissy and fucked her character over. She started out as the typical Queen Bee Bitch and through trials and tribulations and generally being forced to look in the mirror, grew into a kind, generous person. She never entirely lost her her roots, of course, but those little moments of shallowness or vapidness just managed to make her endearing once she grew beyond them being her entire personality.

6. Peggy Carter, MCU. I could honestly write an essay on all the reasons I love Peggy and why the cancellation of her show was the worst thing ever. What can I say, I admire strong ladies who don’t take shit. She’s brilliantly snarky, quick as a whip, can hold her own in a fight, what’s not to love? The way she fights for what’s right, the fact that she doesn’t hesitate to break rules when she knows it needs to be done, how much she genuinely cares about everything and everybody, she’s just all around great.

7. GladOS, Portal. Does it count if the lady is an AI? I SAY IT DOES. GladOS is the queen of snark, and I bow before her. Portal is my favorite video game of all time and it is entirely thanks to how much I abso-frikkin-lutely love the antagonist. I read somewhere that the original version of the game, GladOS was so mean that playtesters didn’t want to keep going, so they had to re-write her dialogue to make her nicer. It is my one wish in life to somehow gain access to and play the original version. Also her backstory is heartbreaking without taking away anything from her actual character and that’s something I admire the writers for.

8. Tiny Tina, Borderlands. Another one where I wasn’t sure which lady to choose. I love all the characters in this series because they’re just. They’re the best. Overall favorite is Handsome Jack who I swear I ought to be able to put for this just because he’s such a drama queen, but that would be breaking the rules. ANYWAY Tina is great. Normally this type of character bothers me, because it’s really hard to write it in a way that feels genuine. But, the writers of Borderlands pulled it off. Somehow, this homicidal little girl manages to be equal parts vicious and innocent, sweet and scary. I just want to give her a hug.... while praying she doesn’t try to kill me when I do it.

9. Alya, Miraculous Ladybug. The best friend in the world. 10/10 would die for, because I know if she were my best friend she’d die for me. Always there to help Marinette and is seriously just amazing. A little crazy and a lot determined, her stubbornness knows no bounds. She is the poster child for not backing down. Snarky and doesn’t let Marinette wallow in her insecurity, instead bolsters her up through a good mix of teasing and genuine encouragement.

10. Leia Organa, Star Wars. Seriously who else would I choose?! I grew up with Star Wars. Star Wars was my entire childhood (not really but close). I found out when I was five years old that I had the same birthday as Carrie Fisher and from that moment on all I cared about was being Princess Leia. The ultimate badass team mom, clever and smart and strong and a little broken, but she never let anything stop her. She kept on keeping on even in the darkest of moments. Honestly I’m a little in tears right now thinking of how much this woman means to me.

Tagging time! @getclever @mightyxray @solembum22 @charbonne01 @trilobytes-and-trilonybbles @sarahsshoelaces @glowing-and-confused @dftblove @rawrcandycore @ninawolv3rina

[buffyversefanfiction]

Tristan Tormented

Fanfiction Series to “Buffy the vampire Slayer” series, “Angel” series and the Buffyverse continuation in the “Dark Horse Comics” series. Warning: I do not own the rights to the television show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, its spin-off series Angel, its dark horse comics continuation series, or any of the characters created by Joss Whedon and others in the Buffyverse. 15 years +, Mild to Strong Violence, Sexual References F/F, F/M, M/M, Other +

Volume 3 - Able Angel

Vampire Tristan Summers had a mission on his mind and he was not going to stop until he achieved said mission, the mission being destroying anyone who could remotely bring out the man inside his monster and although the list was not long it was still a hefty task after all he had almost died several times before when trying to take out some of them and did die with one of them.

Angel was never meant to be a father mostly due to his undead status so when he did father his first child Connor he found himself feeling an unconditional love like no other only to lose him to another world and although over the years they had made major progress their bond was still nowhere near as great as Angel hoped it would be and now he was facing all that pain again with Tristan Summers only this time it was worse because sooner or later Angel’s second son would have to be stopped and his biggest fear had become the idea that he might just have to be the one that does the stopping. “You have to forgive me someday Angel,” Faith told him as she walked through the front doors of the abandoned looking Hyperion Hotel, chasing after her vampire friend, pleading with him to forgive her for past mistakes. “This is not just some mistake Faith; you kept my son from me and then you stopped me from killing him so now he is out there killing people and that is on you!” Angel argued. “He was killing people long before he was a vamp and if we give up on him now, he will be long after.” Faith replied, eager to make Angel side with her on her quest to save Tristan’s soul. “He was coming off less evil not a lot less evil but still less and I just know if we get Willow to ram a soul down his throat or however that goes then you may finally get to have some kind of relationship with him.” “Do not think I do not want to be a father to him, of course I do but you and Buffy made it impossible and now the next time I see him I am going to have to kill him!” Angel admitted to the redeemed slayer. “He has no soul and even when he did, he was evil.” “We both took walks on the dark side and we had each other’s backs why can’t we have his too?” Faith asked him, reminding them both of their dark pasts. “It’s not as black and white as that.” Angel reluctantly replied, once again facing the fact he may have to kill his own child. “Then let us dive straight into the grey and save your son.” Faith responded, making her determination clear to Angel. “On this particularly rare occasion I happen to agree with Faith.” Giles announced as he walked through the front doors shocking both Angel and Faith by his presence. “After my failed attempt to rehabilitate him I have been working hard to find a way to make things right.” “Failed attempt?” Faith scoffed at the former watcher, “That is like me saying oops my stake slipped when I killed a guy, somehow I do not think that response would have went down that well, nor is yours.” “It would have been more believable than trying to pin the crime on Buffy.” Giles replied to the troubled slayer. “Look I am here to make things right!” “Trust me when I say your nowhere near the top of the list of people who need to make things right for me, even if you did almost kill my son, Dru actually did so she’s ahead of you in that department.” Angel explained to Giles, making it clear no ill will was held between the two of them. “Thank you, Angel,” Giles responded to the vampire with a soul before walking over to him and Faith. “I’ve been referring with some old friends about the impossibility of Tristan Summers as well as doing some digging on my own and the information I have found was…well rather astonishing really! The boy really is one of a kind.” “Something tells me this is going to be one big watcher talk when I would rather just be out there doing what needs done.” Faith chimed in, making it clear she wanted Giles to get his point across quickly. “I stumbled upon a prophecy of a human who was born of both vampire and slayer origins yet somehow remained human and as I continued to read the text in which is was written it only grew more fascinating. The prophecy spoke of the human becoming a slayer by his own means, then later a vampire by another’s hands and yes I know that already sums up what has happened but it was the next part that really blew my mind, so to speak.” Giles informed them both. “You see it said the boy would change before becoming a slayer in his own right but he would not change after becoming a vampire, it spoke of how all that was remained unlike any vampire before him and how it would lead to the beginning of the demonic slayer…a being possible of both great things and terrible evils but a being needed in an upcoming apocalypse nonetheless.” Angel and Faith remained stood in shock by Giles’ revelation that Tristan was still the man he was before a monster and while that idea did not surprise Faith entirely due to her strong belief in the rogue slayer turned vampire it did surprise her hearing it was possible for Tristan to do some good, as Angel remained shocked by every word, knowing Giles would not lie to them but not wanting to admit there was hope for his son until he saw it for himself, having lost his sons one too many times before.

After throwing his latest victim’s body to the ground, having drained the woman completely of her blood, a full vamp face Tristan wiped the blood off his face before return to his human form which was when he realized the alleyway he had found himself was very familiar to him being too hungry and focused on the hunt before too realise where he was going but now he was fed and his victim was dead he realized his hunt had taken him home. Memories of his beloved Dante began charging through his mind as he felt all the pain of losing him once more while continuing to walk down the alleyway until Tristan stopped outside of the boarded up building he and Dante once called their home, the deadly demonic dive bar where he had last experienced any kind of happiness with his now fully dusted vampire lover. Tristan could swear just by standing outside the building itself that he could smell Dante but he knew that was his mind playing tricks on him, wanting to undo what could not be undone but still feeling Dante once more was what he needed in that moment as he began tearing down the planks of wood boarding up the door to his home before kicking the door open and walking in. “Did he know about Drusilla?” He wondered about Dante as he stood in the middle of the barely standing demonic dive bar, once again taking in the ruins of what used to be. “Did he help kill my parents? No, he would not do that to me…he loved me…but he did not love me then.” He had never doubted Dante’s love for him for one second and felt bad for doubting it now he was gone but with Drusilla having lied to him all these years he couldn’t help but wonder if any of his time spent with Dante was true or was he playing a role just like his sire Drusilla. “Did anybody ever really love me?” He asked himself, fearing the answer was no. “Could anybody really love a monster like me?” Tristan quickly realized he was not alone to his thoughts when he heard footsteps coming from the front door and like a knee jerk reaction he quickly picked up a piece of broken wood from the ground ready to slay whoever dared come into his home only to be left completely stunned when none other than Spike walked in. “I guess you never got far from those woods, but I guess why would you when this place was your home.” Spike said as he held his hands up to show he had no weapons and had no plans to fight Tristan, “I only want to talk to you kid.” “Why would I want to talk to my mother’s pet?” Tristan asked his fellow vampire, while clutching the wooden stake in his hand tighter. “You see I do not feel like talking but I am always down for killing.” “I want to help you and I know somewhere in there you want to be helped.” Spike told him. “You really are desperate to get Buffy to look at you again.” Tristan laughed cruelly, amused by Spike’s words. “Hate to break it to you but me bad you good we do not talk we just fight to the death.” “The hatred you had for Drusilla remained after turning didn’t it? And that hatred comes from a place of love, the love you had for your adoptive parents, the love I am going to guess you still have for them?” Spike questioned the slayer turned vampire, already knowing he was right. “Wow, of all the pep talkers I did not take you for one but then again you are Buffy’s pet after all.” Tristan replied, eager to antagonize Spike. “I barely had feelings when I was alive and I sure as hell do not have any now.” “Would you stop with the bloody pet talk?” Spike groaned as he walked closer to Tristan. “If you stop calling me kid,” Tristan responded before throwing a right punch across Spike’s face. “because this kid has gone pro now!” Spike wasted no time in replying to Tristan’s violence with some more violence as he punched the former slayer across the face leading to Tristan headbutting Spike in the face before kicking him to the ground. “I guess the slayer strength stuck around after death.” Spike replied as he quickly rose back on his feet, before his face turned into full vamp mode and he charged towards Tristan ready for a brutal fight with the son of the woman he loved.

Meanwhile back in Los Angeles, Angel sat behind his desk within his office at the Hyperion Hotel reading from the books that Giles, fact checking what Giles had already informed of about his son Tristan, realizing that his son did somehow still have his soul despite becoming undead making Tristan more like his father than Angel ever expected him to be. He must have re-read the text within those ancient and mystical books a hundred times not believing the truth to what he was reading as he struggled to come to terms with not only his sons seemingly indestructible soul but the importance he would have in an upcoming apocalypse, not even wanting to think about the likelihood of Tristan being on the team of evil rather than good. “You know you can keep reading it forever and it is not going to change, trust me I read it about a million times before I even began to consider it being true.” Giles told Angel as he walked into the vampire’s office. “Then went the excruciating research, the endless pleading of former colleagues to decipher it differently or at the very least some definition of whether he was fighting for good or evil.” “I get the demonic part of being a slayer I mean I feel the demon inside of me every day but I do not understand how it is even possible for him to still have a soul.” Angel answered as he closed the books and stood up to stand face to face with Giles. “You are a vampire with a soul the very definition of impossible clearly your son takes after you in that sense. I cannot begin to try and explain how he is possible let alone how his soul is still intact, but I do believe this means there’s something inside of your son that is salvageable.” Giles attempted to explain, revealing his newfound optimism towards helping Tristan find redemption. “Why not go straight to Buffy?” Angel wondered, “I am glad you came to me with this but why not her?” “I am not exactly on speaking terms with Buffy or Willow for a matter of fact after almost killing your child, besides I truly believe if it comes past the point of redemption that you will do what you have to do…so would Buffy of course but I would rather spare her from that pain.” Giles admitted to the dark-haired vampire. “I guess this means it is time for a father son reunion.” Angel declared, terrified to how this intervention for his second child would end, hoping beyond hope it would not end in him having to kill his son. “Count me in!” Faith chimed in as she walked into the room, making it clear she was eavesdropping the entire time and she was more than eager to take part in another round of team twisted. Giles had convinced Angel that his claims were real and even convinced him to take part in his redemption rescue mission but one person who never needed any convincing was Faith who had been backing Tristan from the beginning despite his endless evil deeds. A part of Faith connected with Tristan or at least her former self anyway, a part of her that was still in there deep down but had been controlled for a long time now and she believed she could help the slayer turned vampire into controlling his dark side too. Faith Lehane was never the saving souls type until she found her own saved and although she did not make a case of going out on a limb for most if any people she was determined to get Tristan Summers on the right side, partly because of seeing herself in him, partly to do something good for Buffy to make up for all the bad and to make up for straining her relationship with Angel. The funny thing about the path to redemption is the person seeking it for themselves tend to pick up a lot of others along the way, believing deep down that if they can help as many people as possible down that path then they would ultimately be helping themselves too.

“Yeah funny thing about Tristan…let me just say I have him secured already!” Spike said down the phone to Faith while standing in Tristan’s former demonic bar, bloody and bruised from his fight with the demonic slayer which he had eventually grown the upper hand in as a passed out Tristan lay on the floor beneath Spike’s feet.

[zombiegurllll-blog]

No title part one.

I wrote this fan fiction a few months ago. I'm still working on it, it's definitely a work in progress! Leave me any kind of feedback on here, facebook, or if you have my number text me! 

Year 2019

(Castiel appears to be sitting in a park on a bench. Watching people pass by, It's lightly snowing. Children are playing, screaming.) 

  This, this story begins in a weird place. I told Dean and Sam this is the worst idea they've had so far. I even went to heaven to ask God and the Darkness if we should do this. I needed guidance, we all do. After...after the boy's mom came back from heaven things slowly started to fall apart. Soon after we found out Slayers still exist. The boys were not aware of their existence, I myself, thought they all died out. Once Buffy had awoken all of the last existing slayers to help in the good fight, we in heaven were under the impression they all died off in the apocalypse. I had no idea they fled to Italy. They have a small commune, not many of them are left; it's quite fascinating in a way.  As far as I know Buffy is still the head slayer, from the information I gathered from God, she's tough. Buffy died saving the world twice. She's the real reason Dean and Sam are alive. If it weren't for her and her fearless friends this world would have ended before the Darkness tried to end it. It would have been taken over by a vampire they called ¨the master¨. This woman is an important play in this. We need her to help save the world one last time. Right now the boys are trying to find crowley. He is the only one whom can contact her and not die. Whoever this Buffy girl is she has a very powerful witch on her side. This witch goes by the name of Willow. I've heard many of stories about Willow, she almost ended the world once. As far as any of us know she's the most powerful witch in existence. I am positive they will help, if not, I don't know where we stand without them. 

Italy 

Buffy - I haven't seen Willow in a few days. She went out into the woods and poof! After Willow came back from witchy rehab it hasn't been the same. I know she still feels guilty for turning Dawnie into a huge horse thingy. But obviously Dawnie is over it. Her and Xander are...a...¨thing¨..ew...gives me the creepy, crawly, wiggins. Dawnie isn't even a giant anymore, Angel! Willow turned her back to norm. Maybe she still kicks herself in the butt for it. Im worried. 

Angel - Buff, I'm sure she will turn up, she always does. Hell maybe she's on her  way here OR did you ever stop to think maybe she's looking for Oz? It-

Buffy - Wait, WHAT!? Do you and Spike know where she's at!? It sure sounds like you do Mr. cryptic! 

Willow (in the background) - Don't tell her I'm here Buffy can't know!  Angel, we have to find these Sam and Dean guys before they find her! It's too important. 

Angel - Buff, Spike and I will find her. When we have more intel we will call. When have we ever let you down? We've always had your back. 

Buffy - OH? When you left town to move to L.A.? WHEN SPIKE TRIED TO MURDER ME? 

Angel - Buffy...stop. I promise you we will find her. I have to go. You, Xander and Dawn will be fine. I'll call you when and if I find Oz and Willow. Then we can go from there. 

Buffy -

Okay, we'll try our best here. Hopefully we get this done, I really dont want Giles or Faith knowing. They have enough on their plate the way it is. If they check in with you please play stupid. 

Angel - Okay Buff, I'll talk to you soon. Bye. 

Willow - Do you think she knows you're lying? Are we going to tell Spike yet? We need to find Oz A.S.A.P. He wasn't at the commune helping rebuild. His wife hasn't talked or heard from him in weeks. I'm worried Angel. 

Somewhere, L.A. 

Dean - I just don't get why Cass thinks some super human girl is going to save us. Also, WHY do we have wolf-boy wonder here tied up? Isn't he some good-vibes, yoga, fruitarian weirdo? I thought he could control his crap? 

Sam - Dean, he can. It doesn't help that he doesn't believe us. We're the only two living humans who met God personally, remember? Castiel did say and I quote ¨Dean. This is a bad idea.¨ then i'm positive he called you an ass-butt? 

Dean (scowling, looking over at Sam) 

Sam - I'm just saying dude. Now that we have wolf-man, we need to find crowley. 

Dean - Yeah, well just remember asking Crowley is YOUR idea, NOT Cass s! 

Oz - You guys fight more than Buffy and Spike. Are you sure you re brothers and not together? 

Dean & Sam - SHUT UP!

Back in L.A. 

Willow - I did have an ¨odd¨ dream last night. It was way too real. Maybe we can figure this out somehow? It might be the reason why my mojo is wonky. 

- out of nowhere crowley appears - 

Crowley - Well, hello boys and girls. We need to have a little chat, yeah?

- Willow and Angel both jump to their feet in shock. -

Angel - Willow, get behind me. Who the hell are you?

Crowley - Names Crowley, king of hell. Moose and my ex bestie are on their way here with their new pet dog. They need your help. 

Willow - Someone kidnapped Oz?! There better be a good reason for this, Mr. King of hell. OOoooooh. 

Crowley - Oh love, calm down, little miss red riding hood. We all need each other right now. This is very serious stuff. 

- Angel steps forward - 

Angel - So is this. 

- Angel goes into full vamp mode - 

- Crowley rolls his eyes. Moves his hand, Angel hits a wall - 

Crowley - HELLO, KING OF HELL OVER HERE. I'm a bloody demon! A little vampire isn't going to intimidate me, Angelus. 

- Angel looks up with a confused look - 

Crowley - Ah, yes...I know all about you. Just like I know about miss red riding hood witch of the century over here. You would have given mother a run for her money. We should have recruited you when we needed to put lucy back in his cage. 

- Angel and Willow look at one another in confusion - 

Angel - Lucy?

Crowley - Lucifer. Hes currently trapped in a cage that we put him in. You really need to brush up on your history, seriously.

Angel - So, you're telling me every apocalypse we've all been fighting the good fight but on different grounds? You? A demon? 

Crowley - Ah. About that I - 

Willow - I know all about Sam and Dean. They wer - 

Crowley - Moose and his mini me are the least of everyone's worries. 

Angel - I need to call Buffy.

Crowley & Willow - NO! 

Crowley - You big softy. Let's go running to miss teen U.S.A. everytime we're in a jam. You're off your rocker. 

Willow - I agree with this guy. Buff is kind of ask questions later nowadays Angel. 

Crowley - So are moose and his side kick. Cass needs to meet all of you, then her. 

Willow & Angel - Cass??

Downtown, L.A.

Dean - So this Angel guy. Who is he?

Oz - Not someone you want to mess with. Also, he's a vampire. About...a thousand years old by now, or older. 

Dean - A thousand years old or not I'm still watching my back. You can't expect me to trust the other one either. Blood suckers. 

Sam - Dean, dude, cmon. You need to grow up. 

Dean - I'm just saying! We cant trust everyone, and you out of all people should know that!

Sam - We'll be fine. We still have God on our side. 

Oz (scoffs) - YOU know God?

Sam & Dean - Yeah, he used to live with us. 

Oz (smirks, bobs his head & looks at both boys) - Cool. 

Italy 

Xander - Any word about Will?

- Xander paces. Dawnie has her arms crossed, pouting. - 

Buffy - I know Angel is lying. He knows where Will is. Maybe they're trying to find Oz, or...EW. Stop it, disgusting. 

Dawn - Buffy, you're acting completely nuts. What's your deal? OOOOO, still in love with Angel? 

- Buffy snaps her head over to Dawn - 

Buffy - DAWN. SHUT IT. 

Xander - WHAT HAPPENED?!?!

- Phone rings in the background. Xander answers in a panic -

Xander - Hello? Angel?! Did you find Will?

Willow - More like I found him. 

Xander - Willow! What happened to you? Why did you leave?!

Willow - I can explain all of that later. I found out Oz is missing, well, kind of. Its a really long story. You, Dawn and Buffy need to come to L.A. Get on the next plane out here, its important. 

Xander - Could you atleast tell me whats going on? You're being just like Mr. cryptic over there. 

- Angel in the background, scowling - 

Angel - I heard that, Xander. 

Willow - Xander, I - 

Xander - I get it. We ll see you soon Will. 

Buffy - So? What did Will say?? 

Xander - Shes with Angel, you were right. We need to go now, all three of us.

Back on the road  

- Phone rings -

Dean (rolling his eyes) - It's crowley. Im guessing it went well and no one died. 

Oz - Huh. That's surprising. I thought Angel would have tried to kill him. Whata softy. 

Sam - Crowley is the king of hell. It would be hard for anyone to actually kill him. To kill demons like Crowley you have to burn their bones. Otherwise he'll just come back. (sam sighs) 

Oz - Huh, brutal! 

Dean - So, how did you become wolverine anyways, kid?

Oz - Kid? I'm older than the other of you. While you were getting your diapers changed we were saving the world. 

- Sam scoffs while Dean chuckles and grips the wheel tighter - 

Oz - Ah, nothing to say Scoffs and Chuckles?

Dean - LISTEN, WE - 

Cass appears 

Cass - DEAN, that's quite enough. 

- Everyone in the car jumps - 

Dean - CASS! I thought we talked about this?

Cass - Dean, this isn't the time. We need to find the slayer. 

Oz - I don't know how Buff is going to handle all of this guys. Im pretty positive she's going to try to kill you. 

Dean - Well miss america is going to have to get used to it. 

Sam (rolls his eyes) - Dean, stop dude. 

Dean - Just saying! We all have this ¨mission¨ to uphold. Blondie better be on board or I'll chop her friggin head off! 

Cass - You will do no such thing. God and the Darkness are watching very closely. 

Oz - Guys, stop fighting, save it for later. Trust me you'll need all the energy you can get. Anyways, there's angels motel. We re here. 

- Angel looks out the window. -

Angel (in a sullen voice) - They're here Will. 

- Willow looks up at angel in shock while Spike enters the room. He leans against the doorway with his leg crossed behind the other, arms folded, smirking - 

Spike (smirking) - Hey, red. 

-Angel & Crowley both turn to see spike in the doorway. They roll their eyes-

Angel (scoffs) - Where the hell have you been? I thought for a second you were gone for good. 

Spike - Sorry to burst your bubble, Angelus. 

Crowley - Who the hell is the blondie boy band douche? 

- Angel scoffs while holding the bridge of his nose. As he's shaking his head at Crowley Angel is pacing. - 

Spike ( in an angrily raised voice) - Does this british twat know who we are?

Crowley (rolling his eyes) - Great...here we go again. 

Somewhere flying over L.A. 

Xander - Buff, I hope you have a plan. Do we even know what we're walking into? 

Buffy - Kick ass, ask questions later. 

(Buffy winks & head nods)

- Willow returns to her seat, looking around nervously. Buffy and Xander look around confused - 

Buffy & Xander - Will!? What're you doing here? Wheres Dawn?

Willow (in a calm sullen voice) - I zapped her back home, it's too dangerous. Someone is watching us. All I know is it's a demon. Not the cuddly kind either. 

- Buffy starts to dig through her bag. As she digs a man puts his hand on her shoulder. - 

Lucifer - Oh darling, those wont work. (He smiles & winks at Buffy)

- As the scooby gang looks around they notice time is at a stand still - 

Buffy (in a stern/angry voice) - I would remove those paws before I do it for you.

Lucifer - Ha! What anger you hold, little one. So I take it Im early to the party. 

Willow (looking ahead) - I...know who you are. 

Lucifer (putting his hand on his face while his arms are crossed) - Oh really? And who's that m´dear?  

Willow (still looking forward as her eyes turn pitch black) - You're being pretty cocky for a demon. 

Lucifer (scoffs & chuckles) - Ah, so you haven't met Samantha & little Dean berry yet I take it. 

Willow, Xander and Buffy (look at one another puzzled) - Who?

Lucifer - Well, well, well. Interesting, this should be fun. (smiles and chuckles to himself)

Back at Angel Inc. 

The boys, Oz and Cass have been on the road for countless hours/miles. They find themselves frustrated. As they finally arrive to the motel emotions are at a all time high. 

Dean - Okay, so let me get this straight...Spike and this angel guy are actually vamps? Cordelia is basically a floating guardian spirit, Buffy is the head slayer, Willow is super witch, Dawn was the ¨key¨ given to Buffy to protect for the rest of her life, you're a wolf-boy wonder and out of all of this Xander is the only human other than Buffy's old watcher Giles, which is nowhere to be found? 

Oz - Well, yeah. In a nutshell. 

Dean (rolls his eyes, scoffs) - GREAT. Every single last thing we're against NEEDS OUR FRIGGIN HELP. I didn't sign up for this Sammy. 

- As they enter the hotel loud noises/voices and the sound of things breaking get louder - 

Spike (screaming & punching angel) - WHERE IS BLONDIE? WHAT DID YOU AND RED DO?!

- Angel gets up, collects himself - 

Angel - Spike, I told you - 

- Spike punches angel in the face again - 

Spike - Wrong answer, angelus. 

- Crowley rolls his eyes and quickly realizes Willow vanished -

Crowley - Hey! knock it off! Have you lost your bloody minds?! We re at war! Also, has no one noticed that red riding hood is gone?!

- Sam and Dean break the front doors open - 

Dean - HONEY, WE'RE HOME! 

Crowley - Ha, I was wondering when those two block heads would show up. 

- No one in sight. The hotel is empty, silent and warm looking - 

Dean & Sam - Wow...

- Oz pushes ahead into the hotel - 

Oz - Not every vampire lives like an animal. Or what? You've never been in such a nice place? Ha. ANGEL! Its me, Oz! I brought - 

- Angel walks down the stairs -

Angel - Company, I see. Hello Oz. 

- Cass appears behind angel, he puts his hand on angels shoulder - 

Cass - Hello, Angelus. We need to talk. 

- Angel and Spike both look at Castiel in disbelief as crowley appears as well - 

Crowley - Ah, yes, my little blood suckers, you're not the only angel in the room, Angel. 

Spike - Why have we never met before? Who the hell are all of these blokes? Does this have to do with Buffy? 

- From the garden - 

Lucifer - Oh this has a lot to do with more than just her. 

Crowley -  Oh bollocks.

- Crowley fades out. Sam & Dean shift around. Dead looks over his shoulder - 

Dean - So, daddy let you out?

-Lucifer scoffs. He starts to shake his head - 

Lucifer - Dean, dean, dean...how good of you to bring my favorite chew toy, again. 

-Lucifer steps out of the darkness - 

Lucifer (with his arms up & open) - SAMMY! How bout it? Let's be a team again!

Dean - NOT A CHANCE, LUCY.

Lucifer - Oh Dean, where's the fun in that?

Cass - Lucifer! Brother, leave them alone. 

- Lucifer send Dean & Sam flying across the room. He starts to back away from cass- 

Lucifer - Now Castiel, lets talk about this. Don't do anything rash.

- Cass pulls out his Angel sword. Spike & Angel both are baffled, they start to back up & instantly shift into vampire mode - 

Spike - I think this one is on them mate. We need to stay out of it. 

Angel - Agreed. 

Lucifer (over hearing S&A) - OH! So no one wants to help their old pal out, huh? FINE, have it your way. 

- Lucifer turns to Sam & Dean - 

Lucifer - See you boys soon. (winks & fades out as Cass lunges at him.)

- Cass collects himself. Everyone looks around at one another - 

Dean - I - 

Cass - DEAN. Shut it...this isn't the time. 

Spike - So, What the bloody hell was that!?

- Buffy, Willow and Xander arrive, Cordelia & Doyle both appear in the background - 

Cordelia - So, hi everyone. We can explain. 

- Buffy, Angel, Spike, Willow, Xander & Oz look baffled - 

Dean, Cass, & Sam - Who the hell?

- Cordie & Doyle are standing side by side, hand in hand. Doyle bows his head -

Doyle - Ladies & gentleman. 

Angel (with tears in his eyes) - Cordelia?

- Cordie runs over, wraps her arms around Angel. then kisses him - 

Cordelia - Oh Angel...Ive missed you so much. 

- Buffy scowling in the background with her face red - 

Buffy - SO. THIS is what you've been up to? Great choice. HA.

Cordelia - Buffy, seriously? All of you are what? In your forties now? Angel doesn't love you like that anymore, this isn't high school. 

- Buffy scowls even more, folding her arms - 

Buffy - I might be getting older but ill still kick your ass, CORDIE. Don't tempt me. 

Dean - Whoa, whoa, ladies. We have bigger fish to fry. You can fight over Edward cullen later. 

- Dean laughs to himself, looks at Sammy & gives him a thumbs up - 

Sam - Dean, stop. 

Cass - Dean, Sam is right. Now that we're all here - 

Cordelia - Castiel, right? Angel of the lord?

Cass - Whos asking?

Cordelia - Other than what just happened you're the real reason Doyle and I are even here. We all need one another right now. I believe Lucifer wants our powers. Everyone in this room, even you Xander, are important in this fight. We need everyone and - 

Doyle - Hey, wait. Where's that Crowley bloke? We can't do this without him, mates. 

Cass - I'll go find Crowley. He's still terrified of Lucifer. All of you need to talk this out and get along. God and the Darkness are depending on us. 

The scooby gang - GOD?

Dean & Sam - He's real. And real pissed. 

Buffy - How can we believe you? How do you know God?

Oz - Buff, these guys know a lot. They're hunters, born & raised. God lived with them. It's a long, rad, but long, story. Theyll tell you all about it. 

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Rapetastic

by Wardog

Friday, 02 January 2009

Wardog rambles about Twilight.

Look, there's no way of saying this gently, but Twilight (the movie) is awful. It's just awful. It's so badly paced, it's actually boring a lot of the time. And when you stop and think about it for half a second you realise that it's stupid and, potentially, offensive as well. But that's Meyer's fault, not the film's. But, still, like the book to which it is almost co-dependently true, there's something about it that makes it ... addictive, in the most tepid, bloodless way possible. Like ready salted hula hoops.

But what the Twilight movie does exceptionally well is capture the atmosphere and preoccupations of the book. The lingeringly dreary tale of Bella Swan falling for Edward Cullen, the biggest vampiric pussy ever to grace the pages of romantic fiction, is re-created with all the intensity of the original, and told without a glimmer of humour or self-irony. Which, remarkably, works in its favour - since a sense of self-irony is something that develops after being a teenager has already fucked you up beyond redemption.

So in terms of fidelity to the original, it is, at least, well done. The Cullen clan are all spot on, especially Alice (although Jasper looks lobotomised a lot of the time). And the guy playing Jacob - who I always preferred to Edward although I understand Meyer psychos him up in later books - is, true to form, hotter than Edward, much as I love Robert Pattinson. The two leads have impossible tasks but somehow they manage to imbue their lingering looks and clunky dialogue with some sense of conviction - I thought they were both nuts but I believed in their nuttitude.

But let's face it here, there's no way this review can ever be fair (or even a review) because Twilight isn't aimed at me. Far more interesting than the film, to be honest, were the reactions of the audience. It was comprised mainly of teenage girls, who shrieked, sighed and swooned their way through it, and their long-suffering kid brothers who couldn't contain their utter contempt for everything that transpired, occasionally bursting into uncomprehending, hysterical laughter or expostulating "dude! This sucks!" in tones of utter despair. As I left I ducked into the lady's toilets and was thus subjected to a barrage of high-pitched enthusiasm about the gorgeous Edward Cullen and the romance of it all. Waiting outside, my companion in being grown up enough not to get it, overheard two boys as they left:

First boy: That was the worse film, ever!

Second boy: That's the last we ever see a chick flick.

Oh bless. But then Twilight wasn't for them either.

I reason I quite enjoyed Twilight when I read it was because I gave it too much credit and thought it was an allegory. I've always really like paranormal teenage stuff. It makes perfect sense to me. I mean when you're between the ages of 13 and, well, 27, attractive members of the opposite sex do seem like these impossible, unknowable, unattainable creatures so they might as well be vampires or werewolves or vampirates (okay, maybe not vampirates). And since a large part of growing up is getting to grips with a world both hostile and full of secrets people won't tell you, again, it makes perfect sense for those secrets to be "there are vampires in it". And since you're undergoing a horrific process of unstoppable uncontrollable change that you both want and don't want, why shouldn't it be represented by discovering that you're also the High Queen of Faerie, or a Vampire Slayer, or whatever? And, finally, of course there's the problem of sex - its dangers and attractions are beautifully encapsulated by the dangers and attractions of supernatural power, manifest either in others of yourself. That it articulated these ideas so clearly, so cleverly and so wittily is one of the (many) strengths of early season Buffy.

Unlike Buffy, Twilight is not knowing. But it is terribly terribly serious and that's why it works. Teen crushes and love affairs (to be honest, crushes and love affairs in general) are rarely humorous to those involved: unrequited love is the most painful of adolescent experiences and your first taste of romance the most intoxicating. And although when you look at Edward Cullen with the eyes of an adult you see an obsessive, domineering, disempowering, semi-misogynistic nutjob, when you look at him with the eyes of a teenager, he's utterly, profoundly desirable. His whole world is Bella - because he never sleeps, he can literally spend every hour of every day either with her, watching her or thinking about her. He has no life and no interests outside her - for the rest of us that alone cries out "restraining order", for a teenager (to make this less patronising, I'll say, for my teenage self) the idea of someone being completely bound up in you is breathtakingly romantic. As a teenager, you are still semi-dependent upon various authority figures (school, parents, etc. etc.) and very probably highly uncertain in yourself - thus the idea of another person needing you for anything cannot fail to be appealing. Again, I'm making a lot of generalisations about The Way Teenage Girls Feel here, but I associate my own teenage years with confusion, helplessness and a fair quantity of misery. Quite frankly, I wanted an Edward Cullen - because I thought that through the value given to me by another I could learn to value myself. Feeling incomplete, because, quite frankly, I was, I was searching for romance to "complete" me. That real loves exists only between two fully self-actualised, functional and capable human beings is something one learns only in later life.

What I'm trying to say here is this: it's theoretically okay to like Twilight. I even believe it performs a useful function: rarely are these private ideas and desires as well-realised as they are in Twilight. It's nice to have someone stand up and say "yeah, sometimes girls want this"; unfortunately, where it becomes problematic is that it never acknowledges its own status as fantasy and it never grows up. Now, I read a lot of a romance so I'm quite happy with fantasies progressing down whatever path they happen to progress - the alpha male may not appeal to me personally but I'm capable of recognising that it's perfectly acceptable to fantasise about having a domineering man with storm grey eyes who is secretly in love with you but doesn't know how to express it fling you down across the bed and have awesome sex with you until you get to like it. Women are very capable of recognising that when they want flinging it's on their own terms and that a man who behaves like an attractive asshole in a book may not be so attractive in real life. I like romance because it's such a grown up genre: it's a safe space where we get to shrug and let ourselves get swept away in what could be a rather politically incorrect fantasy and nobody accuses you of being too dumb to be able to tell the difference.

Because, as I have said, that Twilight isn't knowing, its status as a fantasy becomes problematised. Basically there's no acknowledgement that it is one; there are elements of the fantastic, gorgeous vampire falls for everygirl etc, of course, but the book never invites us to question their relationship. And, really, given its nature, we should. I could easily list the ways in which Edward and Bella's relationship is fucked to high heaven but since we're all intelligent readers I won't bother. I suppose the quintessential example, however, would be Edward's refusal to turn Bella into a vampire. This is never really open for discussion, one gets the feeling Edward has made his decision and that's that. You'd think that, as an equal participant in a relationship between two people, Bella's opinions should be at least relevant and that their final decision on the matter should be one they have reached jointly. That's what happens in functional relationships. But Edward is not to be persuaded: thus it is very much his decisions, not their decision. He thinks he's protecting her but his behaviour implies that he does not trust her to know what she wants and, in this, as on many other occasions, his protective streak is actually revealed to be rooted in fundamental disrespect for Bella's ability to live her life and make decisions.

Interestingly, despite the chorus of sighing from the teenage audience, I was impressed by Robert Pattinson's portrayal of Edward Cullen. I found him genuinely a bit creepy. He's so obviously ill-at-ease with who and what he is (unlike the rest of the Cullen clan who seem perfectly content to be vampires) and his self-loathing is both evident and off-putting. I think the other girls were titillated by the air of danger and emo but, actually, it's hard to love a man who hates himself. With a weirdly twisted smile, Edward characterises their relationship: "a stupid lamb and a sick, masochistic lion" - the point that Pattinson (bless him) seems to be trying to convey is that he genuinely means it. He thinks Bella is stupid for loving him and, quite frankly, she is (never trust a man who wants to eat you, girls); and he hates himself to such a degree that he cannot respect anyone who purports to love him. This is, of course, precisely what Pattinson has said in interviews - and I'd like to send him about two tonnes of love for actually managing to bring it out of the text since, you can see from reading about half of page of the book, it is something one reads into it, rather than something that is meant to be read.

Edward's love for Bella is truly masochistic at heart - since he must exert constant control to avoid eating her, he never allows himself to forget his own predatory nature, the very nature he despises. I think, through his protection of her, he is attempting to protect the part of himself he conceives as lost - his innocence, his mortality, whatever you want to call it. Regardless, it's messed up and in no way a grounding for a healthy relationship, even, or perhaps especially, with a 17 year old girl. Combine this tortured emotional masochism with an equally tortured attitude to sexuality and things really get nasty. Given Meyer's background, it's not surprising that Twilight, despite the gushyness of its romance, is essentially sexless but the intermingling of Edward's bloodlust and, err, lust-lust, however, serves to present sex as something dangerous and potentially fatal. Noticeably Bella spends most of Edward's kisses (and also her wedding night) unconscious. By this stage we have left the realm of fantasy far behind and moved full time into "just plain wrong".

Now I'm not going to get onto a soapbox and start sputtering that this not appropriate reading material for our children. The first book at least functions as a fantasy and as an honest expression of not-entirely-healthy teenage desires. And, although if you pay even the slightest bit of attention, you can see some very disturbing undercurrents, it was clear from the giggly enthusiasm in the cinema nobody gave a damn. We went there to see Robert Pattinson looking intense and beautiful with his insane bedhair, his silly sparkling skin and his dodgy crimsoned lips. That's what we were looking for, and that's what we got. And, for the moment, that's okay.

Some Rockin' Twilight Links

Oh God, no

Growing Up Cullen

Cleoland's Discussion of Twilight

, including her recaps of Midnight Sun

My second favourite Robert Pattinson interview

My top favourite Robert Pattinson interview

Themes:

Books

,

TV & Movies

,

Sci-fi / Fantasy

~

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Gina Dhawa

at 00:28 on 2009-01-03Whilst I'm not sure I can actually bear to fork out as much money as my local cinemas is asking for in order to see

Twilight

, I am actually intrigued by the movie because of what Robert Pattinson has been saying about how he's approached Edward. If he's managed to bring any hint of that about at all, it's no bad thing.

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Wardog

at 19:44 on 2009-01-03Basically it's not a good film - so it's hard to recommend it. It's very true to the book so if you hate the book, you'll hate the film. On the other hand, Robert Pattinson is obviously the best thing about it. He's fabulous to look at (although the film does its utmost to make him look *stupid*) and his interpretation of the character really comes through the performance. Which is a pretty impressive feat, when you think about it.

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Nathalie H

at 21:03 on 2009-01-03"It's nice to have someone stand up and say "yeah, sometimes girls want this"; unfortunately, where it becomes problematic is that it never acknowledges its own status as fantasy and it never grows up."

I think here you've really hit the nail on the head and said everything about my problem with Twilight.

I hated the book because it was astonishingly badly written; and I haven't seen the film, but I think I'll like it more because I am a step further away from the astonishingly bad writing, and only have to deal with astonishingly bad dialogue. ;) Oh and pacing and all that. But yes, props to Pattinson here.

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Wardog

at 00:14 on 2009-01-04The style of the book didn't bother me too much - I think I rated it as clunky/pedestrian rather than actually terrible but I was really looking at it with a proper critical eye.

The dialogue is - as you would expect - rather cringe-inducing. The ludicrousness of it seems more marked when spoken, than when read:

Edward: I've never wanted a human's blood so much.

Bella: I trust you.

Me: Wrong answer.

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http://serenoli.livejournal.com/

at 12:59 on 2009-01-10The point where I wanted to give it up was when Isabella Whats-her-name got annoyed with people for not knowing her nickname was 'Bella' not 'Isabella'. The book is annoying enough in its portrayal of the obsessive/dependent relationship they have, but Isabella is just such a self-absorbed twit that I kept wanting awful things to happen to her, and getting angry with Edward for saving her in the nick of time.

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Wardog

at 00:51 on 2009-01-11Hello and thank you for the comment. Yes, I entirely agree - Bella is infuriating. I found Kristen Stewart moderately sympathetic, insofar as I thought the actress was doing a tolerable job with an awful part (and I thought the relationship between Bella and her Dad was one of bearable aspects of the film), but the character is beyond redemption. I think she's basically a placeholder ... a big walking sign with "insert yourself here" written on it; unfortunately the fact she has no personality to speak of just makes her actions/reactions both irritating and incomprehensible.

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Jamie Johnston

at 02:22 on 2009-04-19Hurrah, I've finally got back to reading FerretBrain! And to prove it, I'm going to comment on this review of a film I haven't seen, just like I used to.

So no, I haven't seen the film and have not the slightest inclination to do so, especially having read this, but I have read the first three books, and I like them, and two remarks spring to mind as I ask myself why their uncritically positive depiction of an unhealthy teenage relationship doesn't bother me. The first is that I'm not sure that it's uncritically positive, and the second is that I'm not sure that it bothers me that it's uncritically positive. (Yes, these remarks are mutually contradictory, but never mind.)

Being unfashionably opposed to spoilers, I warn readers that as I unpack those two remarks I'll be mentioning elements of the plot of the first three books. (Likewise, if anyone replies, please warn me if you're going to mention any plot from 'Breaking Dawn' so I can close my eyes!)

So yes, having recently finished reading 'Eclipse' I don't feel that, at this stage of the series, I'm being asked to whole-heartedly approve of Edward and Bella's relationship. I think it's fair to say that by the end of 'Eclipse' we've seen, quite comprehensively dramatized, the tendency of the relationship to cause emotional and physical harm to people who don't deserve it, and that Bella and Edward have each engaged in some - perhaps tediously much - self-criticism on that point. They've even to some extent acknowledged that there is such a thing as a normal, emotionally balanced, non-obsessive relationship that can be had, one that would not be a pale imitation of 'true love' but a genuinely loving long-term relationship such as people should count themselves lucky to find, and that theirs is not it. Of course they cling to the belief that theirs is equally valid, or perhaps more so, but surely to ask anything else of these characters would be to ask the writer to be morally responsible at the expense of emotional truth. People in an unhealthy relationship do, at some level, believe that love redeems, trumps, justifies, cancels out the unhealthiness, otherwise they'd address the unhealthiness or get out of the relationship. So naturally Edward and Bella don't see their relationship as a Bad Idea, but what about the reader?

I won't deny that Meyer puts the reader in a sort of default position of assuming that the relationship is a Good Thing and the couple should stay together. But I'd have thought that was the inevitable and proper consequence of making Bella the point-of-view character. We identify with her and therefore we shrink from the emotional pain that would come from breaking them up, even if we feel it would be better in the long run. We also, through her eyes, feel strongly positive about Edward and therefore don't want to put him through the wringer either, and we have to admit that frankly he is probably the one character who genuinely would be worse off if they broke up. That's not because Bella is all that, but because he seems to have no better options and because he, unlike everyone else including her, doesn't obviously suffer any real ill effects from the relationship (apart from the fact that it perpetuates his unhealthy view of relationships in general, but that's not a problem since he's not remotely interested in having any other relationships ever).

Oh, and a quick digression here in response to the comment that "the intermingling of Edward's bloodlust and, err, lust-lust, however, serves to present sex as something dangerous and potentially fatal". Yes that's true, and yes it's a rather unhelpful way to encourage teenage girls to think about sex. But at the same time - and I admit that here I venture into dangerous territory for someone who's never been a teenage girl - is it encouraging teenage girls to feel that way, or is it merely providing a rather apposite metaphor for the way many American small-town teenage girls probably *do* feel about sex? Let's face it, there are umpteen things in modern western (and particularly unreconstructed American) culture that conspire to make sex seem to them both dangerous and desirable, fearful and forbidden and, yes, even potentially fatal but at the same time the proper and expected fulfillment of female life? Aren't they told that they mustn't but also that they inevitably must, and am I wrong to suppose that quite a few of Meyer's readers will find (or will already have found) themselves in clinches where, like Bella, they want to go further than they 'know' (as it were) it is 'safe' to? I agree that Meyer's metaphor to some extent reinforces that unhealthy fear of sex by having sex as a literally life-threatening process for her heroine. But at the same time it goes some way to redeeming itself by at least reversing the traditional 'girl resists, boy insists' caricature of sexual initiation (on which, of course, traditional 'male vampire bites screaming female virgin' stories depend) - she at least is not saying to her young female readers that they shouldn't feel sexual attraction to their boyfriends, and she does a fairly decent job of sharing the responsibility for avoiding the 'dangers' of sex between the boy and the girl (the message being that the girl is entitled to expect the boy to restrain himself, but she should also be aware that what she's doing can make that easier or harder for him, which is perhaps not the most role-busting message ever but is better than many). And, as things stand at the end of 'Eclipse', the message seems to be developing from 'sex is dangerous' to the more balanced 'sex can be dangerous but that needn't stop you doing it with the proper precautions' (though it remains to be seen quite what the precautions are in the case of Edward and Bella); and although it would be nice to live in a social and medical world that justified a rather more positive and cheerful message, I'd say that's a reasonably constructive message considering the world we (and, again, small-town American girls in particular) do live in.

So, returning from that digression, I'd say it's no surprise and no serious moral or literary failing that the most frequent and obvious signposts in these books point to 'Bella Edward 4 Eva' land. Still, as I've said (and as you've said too, Kyra), there are plenty of fairly visible signposts to 'This Relationship Is Going To Hurt Everyone Around It', and at least a few to 'Just Plain Wrong'. The question for the reader in the end is whether 'but they love each other' is an adequate answer. Isn't that the case with 'Romeo and Juliet' similarly? Don't get me wrong, I don't compare the two works for quality, and I don't suggest the central relationship of Shakespeare's play is quite as messed up as that of the 'Twilight' series. But they both depict intense teenage romances that are almost certainly, when looked at from a sober adult point of view, Bad Ideas, and that can only be seen as positive if one accepts the leading couple's belief that the intensity of their love is sufficient to overcome all objections and excuse all damage caused to themselves and others. And although in both cases there are plenty of clues leading to the sensible conclusion that it isn't, there's also sufficient force in the lovers' own view, and sufficient attention given to that point of view, that significant parts of the audience (whether teenage girls in cinemas or eighteenth century Romantics in theatres) can end up approving of the Bad Idea.

The big objection to what I've just said, I suppose, is that 'Romeo and Juliet' isn't *specifically marketed at teenage girls*. That's a fair point. But, well, I don't know, somehow that doesn't quite convince me. Partly that's perhaps just because I don't want to blame Meyer for the way her books are marketed; and even if she consciously wrote them for that audience, I'm still not entirely comfortable with the idea of not trusting young people to cope with it. I remember hearing Richard Eyre on the radio talking about his production of 'King Lear' and saying that when he was in his 30s he thought 'how could Lear treat his children like that?' and when he was in his 50s he thought 'how could Lear's children treat him like that?' Teenagers are going to read a story of teenage romance differently from us sensible jaded sort-of-grown-ups, but does that mean writers should over-compensate by steering them strongly to see things the way they 'should' see them, i.e. the way we see them? Or should we let them believe that 'Twilight' and 'Romeo and Juliet' are about all-conquering all-redeeming love and trust that the more-or-less subtle indications to the contrary will lodge somewhere in their unconscious minds and give them a richer view of the texts as their view of life becomes more complex over the years?

Of course this all partly depends how the series turns out in the end. If it ends, as it may well do, with everything hunky-dory for everyone, then my argument here will be a lot weaker than it seems to me now at the end of 'Eclipse'. But at the moment I think the most important thing for books like this is to be emotionally honest and truthful, and I think the series so far, and perhaps 'Eclipse' in particular, have enough of that for me to feel fairly comfortable about the more troubling side.

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http://viorica8957.livejournal.com/

at 05:04 on 2009-04-19tl;dr

Seriously though,I think that Meyer's comparisons of her work to other famous "love stories" and her belief that hers leaves them all in the dust, and the fact that she's openly stated that she would leave her husband for either of her male leads proves that she isn't just writing from a teenage POV; she's living through one.

(By the way, is anyone else having trouble logging in? Half the time it refuses to accept my password, and the other hald, it logs me in automatically.)

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Rami

at 11:10 on 2009-04-19@Viorica: I'd noticed you were commenting via OpenID lately. Could you drop me an email (

webmaster

at

ferretbrain.com

) with details? Let me know what browser you're using, etc?

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Dan H

at 11:38 on 2009-04-19Speaking as somebody who has *not only* not seen the film but *also* not read any of the books (but who *has* poked around fandom a fair bit) I'd echo Viorica's comments that Meyer's comments about the series undermine a lot of the saner, more sensible interpretations of it.

It's a classic Death of the Author problem - you can probably read Twilight as an interesting portrayal of a destructive relationship from the point of view of somebody currently caught up in it, but if you *know* - for a fact - that the author didn't intend it to be read that way it becomes a lot harder to see that interpretation.

You get a similar problem with good old HP. The early books are convincingly written from the point of view of a naive, slightly self-absorbed teenager. Later we discover that no, they were actually written by an omniscient narrator, and that Harry's warped perceptions of the world map 1-1 onto Wizarding reality.

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Shim

at 13:54 on 2009-04-19

(By the way, is anyone else having trouble logging in? Half the time it refuses to accept my password, and the other hald, it logs me in automatically.)

Not the same trouble, I reckon. But I always have to log in exactly twice.

(also, if using Firefox you have to quickly "allow" whatever the bar asks about before it disappears - once you've done it once it seems happy enough to work in future)

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Wardog

at 15:43 on 2009-04-22Welcome back to Ferretbrain, Jamie :) Yay. I'd be interested to know what you think of Twilight after Breaking Dawn...

I think both Dan and Viorica have in to some extent my concerns with your points. But essentially, to me, the Twilight series only feels emotionally honest as you claim if you're willing to problematise it on your own behalf. And although there are plenty of sensible people of all ages who read Twilight and end up asking the interesting, complicated questions you ask about it (is twue wuv really enough to justify all this), there are plenty of people who simply don't. I can't really quality this clearly to myself I think it comes down to a few interacting issues:

1) Surrounding cultural framework and the problem of authorial intent - basically I don't think you can discount this sort of thing when you're reading a text (although, of course, you shouldn't be constrained by it). And Stephanie Meyer is basically nuts. She is very obviously not only unaware of but wilfully blind to potential dysfunctionalities in her text. Furthermore, many of the things you draw attention to, for example the fact Edward and Bella angst all the time about their relationship and the fact it seriously damages anyone who comes near it, I believe are meant to *validate* the twueness of their wuv.

2) Moral responsibility - maybe this is going to make me look like some kind of fascist and I'll probably regret it but I believe that if you're writing for children and young adults you have a moral responsibility to your audience. All readers are, of course, to an extent vulnerable. And by a moral responsibility I mean you don't necessarily need to say morally righteous things, or even give a damn about morality, but I think fostering uncritically (and I know you dipsute this) the unhealthiest notions of love and romance is genuinely hugely problematic. I know this sounds like hypocrisy because I'm also going on about and about the fundamental human right of fantasy but, again, I think this is becomes very dangerous territory when it is not accompanied by awareness. Essentially Meyer does not seem to be saying "we all have fantasies about this kind of thing" or "isn't it intriguing the way romantic may not be the same as healthy" but "hey girls, I wish I had this, so it must be okay."

3) Connected to the above - I often find reading teenage romances interesting, mainly because when I started I had to make a psychological adjustment. Initially I was found I was grumbling away in my adult "you think this insipid guy with floppy hair is the love of your life but he's just some 16 year old" way and then I realised I was missing the point completely. Ultimately what I'm trying to say is that it's possible to being true to the way love and life feels when you're a teenager, right down to the unhealthy aspects of teenage love, without also being nuts about it.

Anyway, I'm going on and on and on. I do see your points, but I think you're being way to generous to Meyer who doesn't deserve it =P

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Arthur B

at 16:27 on 2009-04-22The first time I read Wikipedia's plot summary of

Breaking Dawn

I thought someone had vandalised the article. I was wrong. This series is its own parody.

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Jamie Johnston

at 22:28 on 2009-04-24

tl;dr

Story of my life. :)

Okay, I take your collective word for it that Meyer is nuts and creepy and probably shouldn't be allowed to write for children. It's a shame. She plots well. In fact one of the things I most enjoyed about the books was nothing to do with the teenage romance but the rather thrilling moment in the first book (

spoiler alert

) when it occurred to me that (1) there was a big vampire cross-country hunt possibly followed by an even bigger vampire battle going on somewhere, (2) I wasn't being given a description of it as I would have been in any fantasy / horror book not specifically aimed at teenage girls, and (3) I didn't feel I was missing anything at all. But that's by the by.

Basically I say this stuff not because I'm an 'authorial-intent-is-irrelevant' hard-liner but because I almost never read interviews with authors and generally haven't the foggiest idea what the author thinks. Partly because it's disappointing to discover that an author adheres to a less nuanced and sophisticated interpretation of his or her own work than I do. :)

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http://descrime.livejournal.com/

at 03:03 on 2009-04-25Okay, I went on YouTube and watched the first 6 parts of the movie.

I have to give her credit for one thing: Bella and Edward clearly deserve each other. They're both self-centered, anti-social, emo kids. In fact, I think Meyers/the screenwriter does a really great job of showing that Bella would never be happy except with Edward.

I mean, on her first day of school, six kids try to befriend her. We're shown that the adults in the town also go out of their way to acknowledge her. And yet, she spurns all offers from the other kids to come join them hanging out in the parking lot. She agrees to go with the other two girls to pick out prom dresses but then sits in the window and reads a book the whole time, clearly sending off signals that she's such a martyr for coming. She derides all the towns welcoming efforts to her mother. And she never freaking smiles. She's a permanent flatline. Might as well date the dead.

And oh god, the moment in the science lab when they meet for the first time. Their eyes meet and she steps in front of the fan so that her hair blows dramatically. It was hilarious. And you know Edward jerked like that because

he totally popped a boner

felt their mystical connection. The actor clearly went out of his way to show how awkward Edward is and how out-of-control of his own emotions and body. I appreciated that in a movie he could have just cruised through.

Since I don't care to track down the rest of the movie, do we ever learn why Bella has such special smelling blood or why Edward can't read her mind?

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Arthur B

at 03:31 on 2009-04-25

Since I don't care to track down the rest of the movie, do we ever learn why Bella has such special smelling blood or why Edward can't read her mind?

I believe the answers are a) she eats a lot of asparagus and b) she has no mind lol.

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http://poeticalengine.blogspot.com/

at 17:29 on 2009-04-25I admit that I've never read the books or seen the movie (I pretty much swore not to the minute I saw someone selling "Edward Body Glitter" on eBay). However my flatmate has been reading them and doing a fairly amusing read through on LJ. Between reading this article and watching her chuck the book at walls, I think it's safe to say I won't be reading it despite my curiousity. Or seeing the movie which is a shame, really, because Robert Pattinson really is very nice to look at.

Still, I'm a bit worried at how lack-of-self-awareness is becoming a prerequisite for writing a mega-successful book series these days. It's possibly just my cynicism showing through but between Meyer's "This is True Love! Really!" and JKR's plea for tolerance, my belief that canny self-reference can be found on the bookshelves of my local ASDA for less than a fiver may have been irrevocably shaken.

-Heather-Anne

(My flatmate's read through, if anyone's interested, is here: http://augustm.livejournal.com/ )