#; LITERALLY SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS..
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911 really is such a good reminder of the particularly kind of joy that is weekly, seasons-long shows with many episodes per season. every character gets a moment to shine even in a truncated season. the satisfaction of seeing characters grapple with stuff that happened YEARS ago. having multi-episode arcs and one-off arcs that are equally enjoyable. beach episodes (metaphorical). I know we're all saying this all the time but why can't more tv be like this
#911#911 spoilers#lauren feels things#do I hate waiting week to week for this show?#of COURSE#but it's so fun to run to youtube after an episode and watch the promo for next week#(why don't weekly streaming shows do promos btw? we should bring those back)#this week's 911 really was such a SHINING example of this#in one episode we got:#HUGE bobby exploration#bathena content#major hen exploration#AND henren content#eddie breakthrough#buddie content#callbacks to seasons 1 and 2 in MANY ways#tommy content!! that confrontation with his old shitty captain did so much in such a short time#we didn't get enough chimney or madney for my taste#but that's only because I can LITERALLY never get enough of them#and chimney had a hUGE episode 2 episodes ago so that's okay#and!!!!!! this is after a whole week spent JUST on bobby!#that was so compelling!!!#and in a 10 episode season still feels like we're getting to everything#the callback to dosed#the return of bobby's suicidal ideation#I mean jesus CHRIST#I'm so glad he and athena talked about the book#also I would loooooove love love another bobby chimeny convo about this at some point#bc that scene in s1 when bobby tells chimney about his plans to kill himself#is one of my favorite scenes it's SO good
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girlbossing too close to the sun.
#art#ive literally just been treating this game as a library simuator#i walk from bookseller to bookseller opening up all of their books#vivecs sermons are either a highlight or the point at which i stop reading#ive been trying to convince the ordinators that imitation is the highest form of flattery but it hasnt been working#let me wear your helmets please theyre so funny..#posting morrowind in 2024 isnt a cry for help but youre not wrong to be concerned.#morrowind#almalexia#vivec#im going to explain the chitin armor give me a moment#so the bonewalker nerevar on the shrines is adorable and it was only after drawing it however many times that i realized#it looked relatively close to a modified chitin armor#and so i modified chitin armor a few times and this was probably the cutest result#i also know i drew almalexia relatively pristine and untouched by years and vivec not so much but my thought process was#vivecs role as if not a favorite then the most accessible divine or the most “hands on” in a manner of speaking#acting in ways visible to the general population or actions explicitly brought to their attention#like not that almalexia isnt doing anything she is#but the dissemination of information regarding that is very different etc etc etc#anyways to a certain extent a god is the face on a shrine or in art or upon a statue or carving#but vivecs presence is interwoven with the geography of vvardenfell especially and his actions and writings with pubished materials#and the arts and culture and customs etc etc etc#so to me the face of a god you know and feel a commonality with or a god that walks alongside you is a face you would recognize#and vivec is already otherworldly looking enough#the simple mark of the years on his skin in some way grounding him in reality felt more right#that and i think the ways in which he and almalexia care about outward appearance are slightly different- they prioritize different things#and the ways they present outward power and their embodiment of their respective attributes share some similarities as they both have that#important preoccupation with physical power and physical strength to a certain degree#oh my god nobody read this i am yapping so bad.#tes
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For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
#i felt weird putting this in there so I didnt but I've also received recognition for excellence in writing#and was nominated as a fan favorite on webtoon canvas...#so like not only do i work super hard but its just really good!#im not ashamed of claiming that i think my work is well done. if i didn't think i was doing a good job why would i do it#buuuut. something about being like please read my comic im literally so good at comics feels weird to me#even though i think that. in my brain#i dont want to imply that there is some objective or tangible goodness to my work simply for receiving some accolades#its nothing other than some accolades. whether or not someone likes it is up to them#so i guess to me it just feels superfluous#but genuinely I love my comics...#i re read them all the time. and i enjoy them!#theres things i would change and probably will change when i go to print#but i did what I could with the time and energy I had#and when it comes back... oh boy.#my friends have agreed its the best stuff ive ever written. it's literally so good...#im so excited to share.#still not fully ready to officially commit to the return date#but i am gunning for it!#webcomics#webtoon#time and time again#its my birthday!#idk wtf to tag this as. im 27 now...#read my comic#LOL
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Kaka compilation
Because everyone is sleeping on him. Witness his greatness!! First two Kaka colored icons were colored by me, lineart by Ryoko Kui though!
Kaka & Kiki are kinda like Laios & Falin… Kaka being stoic and giving repressed energy like early Laios, Kiki being cryptic and always smiling and kinda soft-looking. Autism siblings 2, ostracized and othered as kids and have a deep bond due to sticking together through it all, though unlike with Laios their parents are very loving so Kaka developed family as a big value more than Laios (bc asides for Falin Laios doesn’t care much about it).
In the gnome festival comic you can see Kaka is more emotive than he seems! Full with a :3 face, and he’s the one crying at the end. He’s insecure about his legs and being tall… It really got to him. Conceal don’t feel. In the gnome festival comic you also see him sensing others’ gaze on him and that something is off unlike Kiki, again Laios-like in the way that judgement from others gets to him more than her.
#The twins are so autistic swag#A falin just as chilled out and smiling and a laios who never stopped repressing#They’re so neurodivergent and they’re allowed to just exist I love you Kui. Kaka is just literally me#I looove characters that are hard to know and hard to read/easily misunderstood. They’re my favorite thing#LOOK AT THE WAY HE SMILES THE WAY HE BLUSHESSS HE’S PERFECT and I would take a harpoon to the chest for him thank u#I do love Kiki too btw but I’ve been seeing her in fancontent and posts way more than Kaka so I had to give him some spotlight#But also Laios is my fave of the Toudens so this very much checks out#Their pre-Flokes story would be interesting to analyze too#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kaka floke#Kaka#Kiki and kaka#floke twins#As you may guess from my new-ish icon I am in my kaka era#ALSO I SWEAR TO GOD STOP BEING MEAN ABOUT HIS NAME#KA IS A SYLLABLE IN MY IRL NAME. YES I WAS BULLIED AND CALLED KAKA AS A KID. MY NAME ALSO MEANS UGLY STUFF IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE#KAKA’S A PRETTY NAME I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL. IT’S NOT WEIRD IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD#Oh also another laios falin parallel: they both sort-of-date the same woman
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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HAVE YOU SEEN MALLEUS DORM UNIFORM CARD????
I didn't get him. :( ...so I looked up his dorm story and it is incredible, oh my god. if you haven't noticed by now, Malleus doing the absolute stupidest shit with the best intentions is my favorite, and this is pandering directly to that part of me. I can't pick a favorite part.
(wait, actually, yes I can)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#also containing copious amounts of my second-favorite thing which is malleus vs technology#i can't believe it's literally canon that malleus 1) does not attend meetings because he can't figure out how to open his email#and 2) therefore GUESSES when and where the meeting is and will just. sit in the fucking library for two hours wondering where everyone is.#mal. honey. you can be all '~fae and humans have such different senses of reality~'#but i think you might just be a doofus.#also canon: malleus powerwashes his phone and then is like 'i didn't do anything it just broke'#and don't forget my THIRD-favorite thing which is malleus trying very hard to be a good host and being extremely bad at it#this story really has it all huh#everyone's super mad and screaming at him and he's just like 'feel free to have some cake } :)'#yep. definitely a doofus.
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The sillys!! Back at it again!!!
#When you casually trip and fall into the arms of your beloved in the most gay way possible#Would they canonically be this sappy over one of them literally just tripping? no#will that stop me? also no :3c#Because I am evil and devious and will minorly mischaracterize my favorite characters whenever I want mwahahaha#Pacing is kind of bad but it is a-okay because theym#I am so normal about them in particular heeheehoo#freenoodleshipping#lmk freenoodles#lego monkey kid fanart#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#Lmk#lmk pigsy#lmk tang#Many more freenoodles ideas but I don't have the time to execute them yet sigh#Still have 5 more exams and 2 big experiment things I need to get through + some projects I think#+ normal school work and then I'll be freeeee#Late may through June is going to be so so fun I can't wait to flood the masses with freenoodles#Zaacoy art💫
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You know what, I figured out why we're having so many errors in Destiny 2 now. It's because with the addition of Micah-10, we've finally reached a critical mass of women with drop dead gorgeous voices, and the game simply can't handle it anymore. It's like Telesto. Too powerful. If they'd actually put Ikora Rey in a rendered cutscene for more than 5 seconds it would have shut down the servers for good
#destiny 2#destiny the game#destiny spoilers#the final shape#the final shape spoilers#micah 10#ikora rey#eris morn#mara sov#elsie bray#savathûn#we're really quite spoiled for women with amazing voices#you know what we're Not spoiled for?#ikora rey being allowed to be part of the fucking story#look its a fantastic expansion ok.#its just incredibly galling that my least favorite thing is Also happening alongside it.#once again ikora gets shoved out of the limelight in favor of everyone else#gets relegated back to emotional support#is allowed one Tiny outburst of her own hurt feelings only for it to be swept under the rug because there are always Bigger Problems#why didnt we get to hear from ophiuchus?#we got beautiful interactions between every other guardian and their ghost#literally everyone else got a nightmare gauntlet exploring their insecurities and flaws#but no ikora gets to quietly meditate and fail to commune with the traveler#and then cayde gets to contact it instead#all i wanted this expansion was some emotional resolution for ikora#i was so excited after her reunion scene with cayde i was like oh god we're really doing it!#but no. no no.#the sexism of it. the racism of it. the misogynoir#im so tired this has happened in every goddamn fandom ive been in for the past decade#sourghost.jpeg
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thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?
day 356
BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails
truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute
#day 356#year 4#dave strider#aradia megido#aradave#homestuck#she really saw this kid and was like OH YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH YOUR MORTALITY?? :D#boy do i have some relevant life experience and wisdom to impart on THAT ISSUE SPECIFICALLY#and then she just. very gently and kindly makes the subject more approachable for ghostdave#the pesterlog i linked is literally my FAVORITE aradia moment. to me it is THE character defining moment for god tier aradia#yes she is being kind of ominous and trickstery at first#but it VERY quickly becomes clear shes got genuine concern for this kid she's had very little to do with up until this point#she really wants to connect with him over their shared time aspect stuff#and she really DOES care about how he feels about everything. she wants to help and she wants to put him at ease#because she KNOWS from experience that being dead and having to cope with what that means for you is like VERY UPSETTING AND TRAUMATIC#shes not just like. 'hee hee i think death is great and awesome because im edgy'#shes like 'no dude being dead is scary if you dont have anybody to explain this shit to you. so im going to explain it-'#'-and hopefully by the end of this conversation you will have some new things to feel relief and maybe even joy and excitement about'#'not just in spite of the death thing but BECAUSE of it'#i know shes spooky and has weirdgirl swag and we all love that about her but like#at her core she is a very KIND person. she may occasionally struggle to connect to people through the Death Special Interest Haze#but she WANTS to and when she DOES she is like. a genuinely very warm and comforting presence for her friends#ANYWAY. if andrew hussie or i guess james roach now want to give me an honorary doctorate for my 12+ years of intensive aradia studies#i will be here waiting patiently#timerails
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Age of Calamity is such a funny game when you think about it because most of the characters go through Events and use their strengths and suffer hardships and stuff, but honestly they mostly end the game the same as they started it. It’s not “bad storytelling” or anything to have most of the main characters (Link, the Champions, Impa, etc) not change very much character-growth wise, I’m not insinuating that. They’re heroes and it’s fun to watch them BE heroes and in some cases have nice heartfelt moments together, etc.
But it’s just hilarious to me that the characters in the game who DO get some form of character development arc are:
3. King Rhoam (a distant third place but he does realize his kid’s interests were helpful not frivolous and he apologizes and lets her continue leading the army and fights by her side)
2. Zelda (expected, she is the main character after all, and she gets to grow from doubting herself based on her father’s words and how special and talented everyone around her seems to be in comparison, and being upset at not being able to help more, to realizing her worth as a capable leader whose love and passions were what saved everyone)
1. MASTER FUCKIN KOHGA (goes from trying to peace out and let his lackeys take care of every fight, to desperately NOT wanting to leave Sooga and the others behind (poorly and obviously hiding it behind “come on stick together so you can protect me!” while he as the PC for your first play of that mission is clearly doing all the work to protect them); ends up not only joining Zelda’s faction to protect/get revenge for his Clan despite his hereditary beef with the royal family, but PERSONALLY taking to the battlefield including in the final deadly dangerous missions; declares during that final battle that HE is gonna “send that giant menace packing,” ie the very same monstrous entity he previously served)
Like. It’s not even close. Master “Top Banana” “Kill You All To Death” Kohga. Has THE most character development in the game.
And it’s just. So unexpected and therefore great and entertaining to me.
#kidk says stuff#legend of Zelda#age of calamity#master kohga#yiga clan#age of calamity spoilers#I am insane about him sure but I still believe I’m objectively correct#some of the others (yunobo & riju come to mind) get small ‘gains more confidence in abilities’ moments#link is a very fun protagonist and ALL the characters are my favorites BUT#if we’re talking ARCS…yeah#this isn’t even considering headcanons—this is all in the literal text of the game#ps to be clear I’m NOT saying ‘Kohga has character development bc he ends up siding with Zelda/hyrule’s royal family’#I’m saying he has character development bc he ends up against Ganon for the safety of the clan and isn’t a coward about it#they’re not the same thing#I have complex feelings/headcanons about the clan’s allegiances but this isn’t the time for that!!
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fandom psa; there is nothing whatsoever that is inherently "problematic" about shipping characters who are "found family."
Adoption is not found family. A blended family is not found family. A found family or chosen family is a group which, through circumstances or simply mutual affection, hold their relationship to one another with equal care and importance as family members ought to. It's not the same type of relationship.
It's not incest. It's not even pseudo-incest unless you want it to be. I personally don't care what people ship, but I'm absolutely tired of people misusing the term "found family" to just recreate the idea of a nuclear family and force those roles onto the entirety of a fandom. Sure, maybe characters who are found family may view themselves like siblings, or like a parent and child or aunt and niece, but they might also just see each other as friends-- and guess what? romantic partners too! That's technically the most widely-accepted form of found family/chosen family there is!
The whole point of found family/chosen family is to have the importance of "family" on relationships that lie outside the commonly-understood bounds of that relationship. Not to recreate the "mommy-daddy-daughter-son" dynamic with unrelated characters and use that headcanon or fanon dynamic to enforce your own morality or preferences on other fans.
#zhuixing posts#fandom#shipcourse#technically#found family#found family is whatever you want it to be#that's the whole POINT#idk this just makes me mad#if you like two characters together platonically just say that and block the ship tag!!!#don't make up an excuse to make a relationship between two consenting adults 'problematic' and target shippers for harrassment#just because you don't like it lmao#also characters can refer to one another with familial terms and it STILL doesn't make it 'incest'#in MANY cultures my own included it's common to refer to romantic partners and unrelated people as brother/sister etc#unless they're literally related it's not incest#and it's not pseudo-incest unless you want it to be#if you're gonna be against a ship for 'moral reasons' at least make sure the incest you're accusing people of shipping#is actually really incest in the first place and not some ridiculously vague definition of the term :)#i generally hate the mindset of 'you can't ship x because morality!' because problematic ships are not real life relationships#and have no bearing on someone's values since fiction is supposed to be a way to look at things that wouldn't work irl#but for those of you who *do* feel like you can't ship things that are 'problematic' and are upset you wouldn't be able to ship#some of your favorite characters because they're considered 'found family'#i hope this encourages you to do what you want#and to have fun bc THAT'S what's important in fandom
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SEVENTEEN Spell MV
#seventeen#svt#absolutely obessed with the spell music video#literally my favorite thing ever#completely normal about junhuis outfit#i have no thoughts or anything to say about#because it is so so normal#also i suggest that there cards are: jun - the sun the8 - three of swords hoshi - temperance and dino - either the stars or the world#im much more sure about jun and minghaos#hoshi and dinos really and just shots in the dark after doing some light research on tarot cards
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It’s time to drop all my thoughts & theories on the new creature
It has to be the thing q!Quackity saw in his dream & the entity “Dark” who Leo painted a picture of all that time ago:
I also seriously suspect it’s the “hidden danger watching” that q!Arin has been warning us about, what the codes have prepared q!Etoiles to protect against, and the thing that’s “worse than both the Federation and the Codes” which made the eggs run away.
Now, theories. I don’t think it’s a dark/evil Cucurucho or is related to him at all. I think it simply imitated the form of Cucurucho after watching them and the islanders all this time.
The codes can impersonate eggs, yeah? and if this creature is “worse” that means it’s likely stronger than the codes. so it’d make sense if it could actually impersonate/shapeshift too (that’s why it looks different in q!Q & Leo’s paintings) but be able to communicate properly to people- things the code can’t really do
Yes, I think it was disguised as Fred the Federation worker, or at least influenced him somehow. because it may be stronger than the federation
It might be the :) black sign entity too. us theorists have always been on the fence of whether this entity was federation-aligned or code-aligned, but maybe the answer was actually a secret third thing
“watching you constantly” yeah? and that weird one saying “well done” that appeared to q!Bad? after he watched Cucurucho…? guys something tells me they might like to watch idk
This thing has probably been around since the very beginning & now we’ve finally gotten to see it!!! It’s all coming together!!!!!!!
meta-wise I wouldn’t be surprised if we were originally meant to be introduced to it months ago, because of all the hints that were being dropped back then. but a lot was going on so plans may have changed for it to appear later, and that time is now
#qsmp#qsmp theory#this stuff is my favorite thing ever#yes give me more mysterious entities to dissect and connect previous clues to#if it really is confirmed to be ‘dark’ And the black sign entity I may weep#having longstanding theories get confirmation is so good#in some cases I’ve waited literal years to get theories proven ahjajajdk#<- kingdom hearts fan
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Cianna, is it so bad that I love Taylor's music? Can we stop hating people for what they love, what (for some people atleast) literally gives them the strength to live? Yes she has been celebrated way too much, but don't you think there's a reason behind it?
Have you heard of something called a personal opinion. Why do you need some random girl’s validation on Tumblr. Why not just enjoy her music despite opposing takes
#I’m not gonna forcefully go to your house and smash your phone to pieces so that you don’t listen to Taylor Swift#But this fandom needs to grow up and realize that if someone doesn’t like Taylor Swift it doesn’t make them the enemy#It just makes them… different????#I am friends with people who don’t like my favorite artist#It’s not that deep why can’t you guys just choose to chuckle at it and keep it pushing#I’ve also been very impersonal about the actual fanbase / have criticized Taylor Swift far more than I have her fans#But this is my blog and I refuse to hold back on certain things I wanna talk about just because some of you guys think I owe you curation#I’m literally just a girl. Sorry#I’ve also clarified I don’t think it’s that deep to like her idk what you want from me
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Do you ever think about how Arya being left-handed most likely had an impact on her needlework and other tasks? And how she needed special attention not only because she wasn't as naturally gifted as her sister but because the way she was being taught fundamentally didn't work for her? And how instead of being given the attention she needed she was instead held to an unfair standard by her teacher and used as a measure for bad behavior? And how this all impacted her self-esteem and her views on being a Lady?
#arya stark#septa mordane#catelyn stark#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#I think about this all the normal amount I'm definitely not obsessed with Arya and her internal conflict on being a lady#I'm not saying her being left-handed is the sole reason she was bad at those tasks but I do think it had an impact#that's why it gets pointed out by Syrio and how it will impact her swordplay...it has an impact on the way she does things#Arya not being able to fit in kills me because she genuinely tried to be the Lady that her family wanted#she was literally trying her best to do tasks that didn't come naturally and she was constantly told she wasn't good enough#if her family hadn't forced the issue and been so hard on her it would've been so much easier for her to do what was expected of her#it's just so fascinating and one of my favorite internal conflicts...I can't wait to see the resolution#so many people try and make Arya the problem but she was literally 9 years old#and her behavior in canon isn't the disruptive wild child people portray her to be she was doing her best that just wasn't enough for some#she was frustrated because her work wasn't as good as her sisters and her teacher mother and sister made sure she knew it#of course that's going to impact her views self-esteem and behavior#like no she was not a burden that her /poor/ mother and teacher suffered through lol
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a little prompt, if you don’t mind
what about mercenary!reader and symbiote!Pavia? it’s just Pavia’s ult/wolves kinda remind me of Venom and i think it would be fun to imagine him being something like Venom
;R1999 PAVIA - "under your skin"
Symbiote!Pavia x Mercenary!Reader 2.5k words body horror What you and Pavia have is nothing more than transactional—you need him to make a living, and he needs you alive to ensure a comfortable life. It's taken some time to get used to these changes, to share everything you have with him for the sake of convenience: your home, your food, your job. And most importantly, your body. Perfect symbiosis, or dysfunctional parasitism? You've yet to figure out where you two stand. One thing is clear, though; he's the best at getting under your skin.
i just want you to know that this prompt speaks to MY SOUL bc i love venom and pavia so fucking much. you dont understand how hard i think about the concept of a symbiotic relationship between symbiote and host. so I went extremely self-indulgent with this one <3
as usual, this is written to be read as platonic or romantic, whatever floats your boat!
Bang!
A clean kill.
The only reason you watch as the body drops to the ground is out of respect for the work you do, nothing else. You've done this a dozen times, and you will do it a dozen more -- the gun in your hand has become a reliable friend rather than a tool for mindless murder, its familiar weight a fleeting comfort in the tedious routine. A shame it came from the most annoying person you know.
Screaming ensues as everyone surrounding your target runs around in panic. You remain, eyes locked on the target. When someone moves their body, attempting to cradle that lifeless corpse, you see it; a bullet right between their eyebrows, the perfect shot.
You feel a tug, but it comes from within your chest cavity. Something squirms inside you, pulling you back, and you understand this as your cue to slide back into the shadows. It begins with a single step backwards, then another, until you feel the texture under your shoes shift -- what was once solid ground is now a dark, velvety mass, floating upwards and fading away like smoke. It licks at your ankles, providing an initially cold sensation that permeates your clothes, and then it continues upwards to your calves, your knees, your thighs. The gun slowly dissolves into slime, taking the shape of what you assume to be a hand, horrible and sticky fingers intertwined with yours, pulling you downwards.
By then, you feel that burning sensation, and then you're dragged into the abyss.
"That was a lousy shot."
A voice echoes in your mind, it is not your own. It feels like a thousand ants marching alongside your cranium. Or rather, what you assume to be your cranium -- in this current state, you can't separate yourself from the embrace of the void. The voice might as well reverberate all around you.
You scoff and insist. No, it was a perfect shot.
"Perfect my ass. You were off by 2 centimeters," the biting remark makes you clench your jaw. You don't reply. The voice does the same, it remains still, only a semblance of white noise, but you understand its silence as a smug victory.
Suddenly, vertigo takes hold of you. It only happens for a split second, always unannounced, but you know better than to brace yourself. Doing so, as you've learned, would only make you nauseous, dizzy and weak -- instead, you let go and the shadows gently coax you back into the light before dissipating in the air.
You find yourself in front of your apartment door, an odd and anticlimactic way of ending a productive day. What, no snack run today?
"Not feeling it today. So you either open the door on your own, or I'll do it myself. Get a move on."
Some of these threats tend to hold more water than others, but more often than not, they're just empty words and loud, useless barking. And so you've learned to ignore them all -- however, you feel a faint prodding inside your back pocket, like a tentacle in search of something. Right, your keys. The roll of your eyes and the slowness in your movements are the only means of rebellion you have against this annoying entity in your head, it continues to breathe down your neck, impatient as ever, until the door opens and you step into your safe haven.
"Finally! Guess there's some activity in that brain dead head of yours."
You're forced to make a bee-line for the kitchen and the fridge, puppeteered by a force much more stronger, much more ancient than every insignificant emotion you've ever felt: the damn parasite inside of you is hungry.
As you both scan the leftovers -- your leech of a roommate seeing through your eyes, smelling through your nose -- the voice returns, this time in a more playful tone, less grating than before.
"Scusi, what's with the silent treatment today?" You bite the inside of your cheek and it laughs at you. "Don't tell me, wolf got your tongue? Are you mad that I saw right through your poor, shitty technique?"
A suffocating presence crawls inside you, starting from somewhere below your rib cage and making its way upwards through your esophagus and trachea, shifting until you feel the prodding of cold, slimy fingers in your mouth. They are tasteless and you can still breathe, your body not even bothering to perceive this as an obstruction or an intruding force that must be coughed and spat out. They are careless in their movements, pinching the tip of your tongue and pushing against your clenched teeth in an attempt to get you to open up.
And the worst part is that this is nothing but a mocking gesture, you've come to understand this over the years. To you, this is no different than someone poking at your sides, childishly asking for your attention. You obediently open, enough for a single digit to slip out, one you recognize as the middle finger. It presses down on your lower lip.
And then you bite down, hard.
It dissipates instantly, it is absorbed back into your body through every inch of skin it makes contact with. There is a new sound in the back of your mind, one you weren't quite expecting. Your parasite laughs, amused, no trace of that usual condescending tone.
"Good, you still know how to use that petty mouth of yours. I don't have to worry about teaching you how to chew down your food."
This makes you stand up straight, turning your head and glaring at an empty space, where you assume this presence would manifest if it chose to stop taking residence in your body, "I'm not eating while you're still in there. If you want dinner, then get out."
There is a beat, a momentary silence. You don't give the parasite any time to bargain, "I'm serious. Use your own damn mouth if you're so hungry. I already have to do everything on my own, I'm not going to start spoon feeding you, too!"
The reply comes out faster than you expected.
"Fine."
For a moment, your vision doubles and your body feels like it's being painlessly torn apart. For a moment, you have two sets of eyes, two sets of arms, two sets of legs and two minds. You are both yourself and him, simultaneously. It is like someone is cutting your soul in half, shoving each part into two different bodies.
It is over in the blink of an eye, and there is a presence looming behind you, made from the same material that took you here, the same material that often travels in your veins and every other crevice, nook and cranny available between your organs and bones. The lights of your apartment flicker, and you take notice of his shadow cast over you.
His predatory gaze burns holes in the back of your head, and in the stillness of it all, you hear his steps, the sound his leather pants and the shifting of his shirt fabric as he steps closer -- until you feel his chest against your back. An arm slides into view, closing the door to the fridge and resting there, preventing you from escaping. It is decorated with all the useless, silver jewelry he's taken from your targets, a hand covered with tattoos you've often traced with your very own fingers in the past.
Oddly enough, you do not feel like prey. Not anymore. Your instinct tells you that you should, but truth be told, you could not care less. Especially when you feel his chin dig into the top of your head, his weight pressing lazily on you.
"…But in exchange, I'm cooking tonight. You got 10 seconds to get outta here." He shifts, and his cheek nuzzles into you as he yawns, like he's ready to move on from this conversation.
"Huh?" You slide from under him, finally looking at the parasite concealing as a man -- one you recognize as the bane of your existence, Pavia. "Uh, like hell I'm trusting you with the food! I've seen the stuff you put on your pizza."
"Like you're one to talk! You add too much salt to everything you make. If you wanted to ruin your liver, you should've just let me eat it from day one. 5 seconds left before I throw you out. C'mon."
"Do you even know how to cook? Any actual recipes that don't require winging everything?"
"Does pasta with a side of 'mind your fucking business or I'll make us eat rat poison' sound good to you?"
"I swear if you put anything funny in the food--…"
"Time's up. Out!" Pavia picks you up, manhandles you even, and tosses you out into the living room. As soon as you land on the couch, the door to the kitchen closes and you're left all alone.
It's easy to forget that you have no fucking clue as to who or what Pavia even is.
No last name, no records, no personal information at all. You've touched him before—he looks and feels just like any other person. If you didn't know any better, you could've sworn he bleeds the same way you do. But there are times when that outer layer of normalcy is peeled back just enough to remind you what you're dealing with. Sometimes, the outline of his form darkens, as if the light around him couldn't affect him in any way, and his eyes go dark, so very dark.
You've seen him in this form, unhinging his jaw to uncomfortable degrees and revealing endless sets of saw-like fangs and teeth. His nails have grown longer, thicker and sharper than expected in many occasions. You would find those on the ground, like a wild dog who has never known, let alone needed, a trimmer.
And most importantly, you've allowed him entry to every pore of your body, every piece of cartilage, every muscle, every vein.
That's when you get a small glimpse into the eldritch monstrosity living under your roof—sometimes, he's a thick fog. Sometimes, he's an oozing pile of slime. Sometimes, he's the big, bad wolf. Sometimes, you can't even understand what you're looking at when he manifests in front of you. Regardless, you're certain of something.
Pavia is darkness, eternal and haunting as the night.
He is also a huge, ungrateful, bastard.
"Hey! Where'd you leave the gelato!? This freezer's a damn mess!" His voice is heard, muffled. It doesn't carry the same cadence and weight as it does when you hear it from within your mind. He sounds more annoying, in fact.
It's a strange experience, to have him coexist right beside you as if he weren't some sort of parasite, one hair away from eating your organs. But at least like this, he cannot read your mind nor attempt to puppet your body like a moron in broad daylight. You don't answer, fully aware that he's only trying to piss you off and lure you into another argument -- as if he'd ever lose sight of his precious dessert, anyway. Instead, you busy yourself with the usual routine; finishing what is left of your work, contact your employers and whatnot.
Soon enough, the kitchen door opens and Pavia slides into the room with a single plate of warm food. You look at him, eyes wide in indignation. Oh, he wouldn't …
"Huh? What, I thought you didn't trust me to cook, so I just made something for myself. There's some leftovers from your poor excuse of a lasagna, though." The smarmy expression plastered all over his face as he licks the sauce off his spoon is unbearable, and you rush to the kitchen either to find the biggest knife to drive into his chest or to resign yourself and eat those leftovers.
And then you see it, another plate resting by the counter. Full of delicious looking pasta.
Son of a bitch.
"Bring me some of that orange juice you bought yesterday while you're in there, yeah?" Pavia never gives you time to settle down, demanding your attention and your frustration time and time again, unable to form a single coherent thought nor opinion about him.
He's annoying, that's all you've been able to figure out so far.
He's annoying, and he's made a mess out of your kitchen to cook this meal for both of you. He's annoying, and stingy when it comes to sharing his favorite snacks and desserts, but he never attempts to steal your own. He's annoying, and he offers you a power beyond your wildest dreams, to get rid of inhibition and embrace the abilities of an eldritch beast. He's annoying, and he hogs all the fucking blankets at night, planting his cold feet against your legs or back to add insult to injury.
He's annoying, and he's calling out to you once more, telling you to hurry or else you'll miss "that one stupid show" you like, that he'll switch channels if you don't sit down with him to eat. You sigh. The nerve, the hypocrisy. You know the things he likes to watch -- he has no right to criticize your taste like this.
"I'm coming, calm down! Christ …"
You notice that he never lingers nor invades any of your usual places, always picking the same spots for himself, and this is ironic in every way possible given his fickle nature. There's no doubt that as soon as you two retire for the night, Pavia will make a show out of sliding back into your body, to rest with the warmth of your blood and the soothing rhythm of your heart. And you will tell him to fuck off and sleep on the couch, reminding him of that one time he got a little too comfortable, clutching your heart in his claws, causing you to believe you were having a heart attack. Then, morning will arrive, and you will find Pavia either sprawled out or gone, but never truly leaving you alone. You will feel him, that inky slime, both cold and warm in your veins. You will go to work, and you will return home to start all over again. This is the routine, one you stopped questioning a long time ago.
This parasite who gets under your skin, both figuratively and literally, is annoying. He's annoying when he teases you, forcing you to admit that he can cook a mean pasta. He's annoying when he laughs, loud and boisterous, at those stupid moments he often criticizes in all of your favorite shows. He's annoying when he gets clingy, using you as a pillow because he can't be bothered to reach out for one of the many other pillows scattered around.
He's so very annoying when he looks at you with a curious gleam in his eyes, obviously noticing the way you've chosen to rest your head in the crook of his neck. Time stands still as you simply look at each other, as you lose yourself in those bright, sharp eyes.
You stick out your tongue at him, and Pavia blows a raspberry at you. Sure, he might be plenty annoying on his own, but together you're both insufferable and unstoppable.
#reverse 1999#reverse: 1999#reverse 1999 pavia#reverse 1999 x reader#pavia#dreamy sigh. i love overly complex relationships that can be interpreted in 20 different ways#yeah you hate each other. yeah you love each other. yeah you cant stand each other. yeah you cant literally live without each other#yeah hes your best friend. yeah hes the bane of your existence. and yeah youre his only lifeline. yeah youre the only one he trusts#love having relationships with The Eldritch tm#if some of this sounds suggestive its bc i love romantizicing body possession and body sharing and symbiotes theyre my favorite thing ever
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