#/very awkward cough/
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The first time they played the newlyweds game friend test (oh wait we can call it newlyweds now? ok bet.) newlyweds game, it gave us this iconic moment:
I am TERRIFIED to see what it could give us now.
#phan#dan and phil#THIS IS MY FIRST DIPNPIP GIF GUYS R U PROUD OF ME#also dnp introducing this game at the very start w the awkward cough haha '*FRIENDS* test'... excited to see how they spin it this time#newlyphweds#phwedding hill
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NGHHHHH daddy it’s not gonna fit daddy it’s so big oh my godddddd daddy daddy daddy stretch me out fuck me hard daddy harder HARDER
#awkward cough#sorry#he’s just so beefy in this i need him to fuck me#like yesterday#activated my very suppressed pushed down daddy kink#he’s got me 👹
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You know what? I really wanna eat a sandwich with Vessel. We don't even have to talk or anything like.
I just want to sit at a table across him, get a few Capri Suns, a bag of crisps torn open between us, a nice sandwich each, and just eat in silence.
🧃😐🥪 🍟 🧃😐🥪 <- like this
#i want it to be almost uncomfortable but never reaching that point#i want us both to just munch on bread like 😐🥪 😐🥪#and we're both sharing the same crisps. and maybe we reach out for the same potato but there's an awkward “you go” pause#our fingers barely touch. it's not romantic or anything it's just 😐😬#and maybe I'll accidentally choke on a piece of chicken and he pauses. half-eaten sandwich in hand. completely silent#watching me cough and waiting to see if i need help or not. but then i sip on my capri sun and i'm 😐👍 and he's 😐👍#and we both continue to eat in silence#he's fully masked of course#maybe he'll occasionally cough very lightly to clear his throat. or do a “mhm” sound to indicate the food is good#and that's it. that's all i want#is that too much to ask? i don't think so#(listen i love sandwiches okay? they're one of my favourite things in the whole world i could live off sandwiches if i could)#sleep token
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?
#i'm literally laughing my entire ass off rn. i can't believe i found this fic i wrote at 15 and orphaned when i came to my senses abt both#my complete inability and total aversion to writing first person as well as the fact that the english language should never have been#subjected to its words being done dirty like this 😭#also i straight up fucking LIED in the authors note??? i said i'd broken my knee as a kid which is categorically false. i fell down some#stairs and banged it up and it's a tiny bit weak ig but i didn't break it? all any teens born after y2k know is eat hot chip and lie...#still not over the first line... the flip flop bit i remembered but i'd COMPLETELY forgotten 'a shriek seeped out of my throat'. girl. what.#how does a shriek seep exactly? the world may never know...#and the use of 'groped' is also sending me 😭 AND 'crash bash whump thump' girlllll send help holy shit i can't stop coughing & laughing#the rest of the fic isn't quite this bad but it's very purple yet ineloquent and rough. it's a good reminder of how much i've improved and#honestly i'd rather read this utterly amature fic bc it's at least charming in its lack of skill rather than infuriating like some of my#oneshots that are still on my page bc they're more comprehensible but just bad enough to make me cringe. getting mad at this oneshot would#be like getting bad at a kid's stick figure drawing. like. it's just kinda cute to see someone starting out on their creative journey#my old sw oneshots on the other hand are like the awkward growing pains of puberty. you just can't help but wince at the reminder#this is okay to reblog btw bc it's objectively hilarious and i don't mind ppl finding humor in it#len speaks
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Seeing other people in a fandom and wanting to interact but.. worrying about being awkward through reaching out first go crazy. existing Max Steel fandom I love you all. My fellow small boat sailors n shi.
#brennon rambles#max steel#i want more people to talk to about it and shi but i am. so very socially awkward at times lmfao#coughs into mic
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I have 2 neighbors who smoke weed. neighbor 1 who smokes does it at 3 am while blasting music outside. neighbor 2 does it sporadically but literally has the worst coughing fit i've ever heard between his smokes it makes me concerned??? like bro u good?????
#unrelated but i think i accidentally saw neighbor 2 and their partner fucking in the window bc they face our apartment in a courtyard#very awkward#tw weed#but ya re: the coughing#this guy is HACKING it's not just a small fit#also bc we're in a courtyard it just echos so EVERYONE can hear it#im just trying to enjoy the sound of rain outside but this guy has been coughing for like 20 mins
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This is not your grave...
...but you are welcome in it.
(there is next to no Master Chief whump, so i'm being the change i want to see in the world. rewrite of Halo 2's cutscene Sorry, Were You in the Middle of Something?)
"Can't you run any faster!?"
"Not helping...!" Master Chief barked with a sharp exhale. His legs burned from the long jump, bones quaking with the force of sprinting. His pulse hammered in his ears.
He stole a glance back—blinding white. So close. Too close. Cortana spoke for them both, "You're not going to make it!" He shook his head, too focused on run faster to even mentally curse.
Still, the edge of the landing came all too quickly. Chief prepared to jump, sucked in a breath, and launched. Fast enough only by milliseconds, he cleared the ledge of his own volition. A moment suspended, then the wall of force hit him before he could even enter free fall.
White enveloped him. Armor shock absorbers failed. Pain. Vertigo as he spun midair.
"Chief!"
Cortana suddenly sounded so distant.
He hadn't lost his helmet, had he? Lungs spasmed in shock, unable to draw breath. Or was there simply no air to—
Thunder clapped, a full body strike against his backside. "Chief!" What little air he'd managed to cling to was punched from his lungs. "Chief! John!"
Black overwrote white.
Darkness oozed up around him, the light from the blast and the sun above tunneling sharply down to a crosshair in his vision. Somewhere, distant, he registered he'd hit water. Knew he needed to activate flotation failsafes in his armor. Lest he'd sink. But those thoughts flitted past with the bubbles, helplessly up to the surface. He fell away, deeper.
"Wake up! ...That's an order, Chief!"
"—Shit, what is that?"
Consciousness flagging, one last drop of awareness screamed as something banded hot and white around his middle. Copper met his tongue, and the black abruptly swallowed him whole.
"Chief! Damn it, wake up!"
#(btw if you read this and have master chief whump recs PLZ send them to meeeee)#halo#halo 2#master chief#master chief whump#halo whump#whump fic#whump#my fic#my headcanon is that cortana is talking at chief coonnstantly#sometimes giving him sass sometimes like a sports announcer keeping track of his kills#she's in there with him for everything there's no way they don't have some no-need-for-words deep bond#if only the poor bastard had been conscious enough to grant her suit control after (or before!) he hit the water#(and if only she'd thought to ask!)#but then chief wouldn't get to meet arby on their very awkward intervention with Mr. Mouth#nik plays halo#(it's so much fucking fun i love it)#long post#(also sorry not sorry i am constantly thinking about chief coughing up blood inside that damned suit)
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my great auntie barbara has been a widow for almost 10 years now. uncle jack died in summer 2014. and with my grandfather gone she's without her only brother too. today was the wake for my grandfather and she looked absolutely beautiful, i told her as much, she was the best-dressed lady there. and it's been almost three years since my grandmother died and you could tell there was a different understanding between her and my grandfather whenever they got together. it became more necessary to invite barbara to extended-family events when her husband died, but after grammy died it was just about mandatory. there was just something about the two of them sitting together, brother and sister, in their 90s having lost their life partners, but sitting with the only other person left that they had known for as long, no, even longer. as far back as they could each remember. they both looked like they were in the company of their favorite living person. so it was hard to see her at the wake although she looked beautiful and she always does; she has a wonderful smile. it must be hard to be the last survivor of your generation. i just hope she goes home and she has something that makes her feel not so lonely.
#tales from diana#after grammy died it could be hard to see grampy. bc he was (i still have to remind myself to use past tense) WAS a very reserved man.#grammy was always the talker. not to mention he was extremely hard of hearing. so he often missed out on convos anyway#grammy would fill him in back when she could.#he was just so much lonelier without her. you could tell he had a personal awkwardness. it's surprising he lasted so long a widower#he turned 95 in july. 95. i dont think anyone in my family has ever lived that long!#who knows if any of them ever will again...#but yeah. it was always nice at parties or weddings when grampy and barbara got to sit next to each other. you could tell they were content#they liked to talk about old memories and things of the like.#lots of pictures at the wake were from his childhood. the best ones were the ones w their dogs or horses#i also have to wonder what it was like for their parents because their firstborn daughter. claire. born 1927#she died at the age of 2 of whooping cough. and grampy's dad died when he was 18#apparently he never emotionally recovered from losing claire. understandable.#i suppose grampy's not only with grammy but with his parents and with claire again. but poor barbara#i really do feel for her. i can only imagine the pain and sorrow of my children taking me to my brother's funeral.
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Accidental Hiatus...
Yo Ive been unwell these past... how many months? Allergies are the worst theyve ever been for me and right when I seem to get well, BAM! I get hit with another wave.
What sucks is because I wanted to share more aro terms but havent been well enough to do so. That and having to go into work sick makes it even harder to want to do the things I enjoy.
Anyways just wanted to give you guys at least an update. Ill try to go back to uploading stuff soon, I promise.
#literally coughing so badly#very awkward when having phone calls#crying in allergies#rip my aromantic posts#rest in peace to my throat#at least my voice is semi deep due to this suffering#send help
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riddle probably wasnt allowed to have social media so he doesnt know what likes are HES TRYING TO KEEP UP OK.....
#text#♥️#his awkward cough.... hes like a dad trying to be funny with his kids#i think it was VERY funny riddle you are so smart and funny and i love you
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Iw atched venus in fur last night hugh dancy has sure been in some situations throughout his acting career
#very awkward recording many old people coughing i felt like i was watching it with my grandparents#the actress in the play was the same actress that played molly in hannibal
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i sobbed over the interviews today but i think everything will be ok
#trivial talk#one of my interviewees was very uh how should i say#he came off very strong and i have a shy personality so the chemistry was very awkward#think i fumbled that one though the stutter and cough came out :pensive:#ah but ill worry when i worry no need to dwell
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Yandere Boarding school thoughts... (Gender Neutral)
18+ Minors DNI
Warnings: Multiple yanderes, non-con touching, dub-con, perverted thoughts, obsession, bullying, masturbation, aphrodisiacs, general perversion, dry-humping, voyeurism, controlling behaviors, typical yandere stuff, breeding, drug usage, horny posting.
(AN: I have rizz-en from my grave to be horny once more. All of these guys are avaliable for requests, but will be listed under the materlist simply as Yan!Boarding School.)
Background: Thinking about a Headmasters child!Reader at a private boarding school. For a Fem!Reader, perhaps you're just visiting daddy for the season while he's running the school, or maybe you've been bad, and need more supervision. For a Masc!Reader, it could be the same case, however, with Blackmoore Academy being an all male school, this opens up the availability for reader to be attending.
Student scenarios and profiles:
◇ Harrison Spence, star member of the swim steam, basketball player, and golden boy. Despite jock stereotypes, he's respectful and mature. He always looks out for others, and this lends to why your father suggests rooming with him. Plus... if anything were to happen, your father wouldn't hate to have him as a son in law. He's SOOO friendly when he meets you. Those big strong arms are perfectly suited to lug your bags upstairs to his room. Want help putting stuff away, sure! For a Fem!Reader, he's not suprised how awkward he is when he's unzipping your suitcase, only to be met with some thin lacy garments. He just coughs and backs off. For a Masc!Reader, he wears boxers too! So why does he still feel so hot. He should open a window.
He'll make sure you fit in around campus, mostly steering you in the direction of the athletics department. He'd love to see you at some of his games, cheering him on. You seem so nice, he could really seem himself with you long term, the more he thinks about crushing on you. Besides, you already share a living space. He feels awful about how his body reacts anytime you're too close. You left a jacket behind that smells just like you? He tries not to think about the consequences of fisting his cock into it. Late night out at one of his games? Who cares if you share a dorm and your bed is literally six feet away, it's too far of a walk. Slide into his bed, he's a gentleman. At least until he wakes up the next morning, mind foggy as he instinctively moves his cock up over the waist band, putting a leaky tip against your ass as he resists the urge to press his head into your neck, opting for a pillow instead. He's so, so sorry, but he's gott a deal with it, and you just feel so good. He rationalizes it by saying he's not just some horned up guy, no. You're his roommate, HIS. And what would the Headmasters think! No, he wants a future with you, romance, not just a warm hole to rut...
"Hey, roomie! Listen, practice is running kinda late tonight, so I'm gonna grab food on the way back. Why don't you text me your order, I can bring it back. We can make a whole thing out of it, no need to pay me back! I'm thinking burgers?"
◇ Carter Matthews, student body president, scholar, and in every AP class possible. Even some dumb ones. He doesn't pay much mind to you, you ate very attractive but so is he. If he felt the need for a relationship, he could get whomever he wanted. But he hates... hates how you make the other students, even some of the faculty act. He can't help but follow you around, making sure you obey curfew, and don't get into any trouble. He likes to keep order around here, and it bothers him to have to ignore his student body presidential duties to make sure some delinquent isn't trying to slip you a spiked drink, or some jock has you under the bleachers trying to get your mouth wrapped around their tips.
Eventually, he decides you could be helpful instead of a hinderance. He's busy, may need a form of stress relief, and given babysitting you when Harrison isn't around is one of the main sources of that stress, why shouldn't you help him out. Besides, you look so cute flustered. Maybe it starts small, he tells you your uniform bottoms aren't regulation, and while he tugs them down to 'fix' them, his hands wander a bit too much, grazing the soft skin of your ass. During random room inspections, he may let his hatred of the sports program taking up all the funding by mentioning how obvious it is your roommate wants to stick it in you. Harrison can't stand him, not trusting the cold creepy gaze of the prefect. He'll force you to come to student council meetings, under the guise of assisting him with preparing for a faculty dinner to appease your father, only to get you under his desk while he writes, trying to guide you with one stern hand. He doesn't like to go too deep, not one to enjoy gagging or unnecessary sound that would distract him from working.
"Keep it down." He scolds, cold eyes peering down through blonde bangs. With a sigh, his free hand strokes your cheek. "Just suckle, alright? There'll be plenty of time after I'm done for you to make sweet noises around my cock..."
◇ Evan Reed, CAPTAIN of the swim team, and student assistant PE coach. He's used to play basketball alongside Harrison, but got kicked out for being too violent. Shoving, pushing, and going as far as knocking teeth out. He's a fucking animal. He's handsome, of not a bit of a loner. He isn't popular or unpopular, people tend to leave him alone because of that bad boy attitude and his temper, but he's always welcome to party with the jocks, welcomed into parties and known as a keg-stand king. And boy do you catch his eyes, giving that your always hanging off Harrison, or being trailed by Carter. He's more than happy to accompany you to the pool or help you out in gym class, but it's obvious what he wants. He'll get up behind you in the pool, still smelling of cigarettes as he asks mundane questions while trying to pull your swimsuit to the side and get his hands on that sweet spot between your thighs. Or maybe he'll sit on the edge of the pool, congratulate you on how good your doing, legs spread as he pulls you between them, hoping you'll end up accidentally eyeing his cock. If you are a Masc!Reader, then there's definitely some internalized homophbia. He'll make sure you know these are just normal friend activities, even when he's got you bent over in the boys locker room, ass up. He doesn't EVER plan to be the one on the bottom.
He's a player, chasing tail outside of the school, hitting on peers sisters and mom's alike. But now, he plans to keep you around, not because he necessarily feels like he wants a romantic relationship with you, but because he loooooves how pissed it makes Harrison. He never liked the goody two-shoes, and half suspects he's one of the people who pushed to get him kicked out of basketball. He likes to pick on people, but Harrison sees himself as a knight in shining armor. So it gives Evan a major power boner to make you grind up against him on the dancefloor at some preppy party, while Harrison just has to stand by and not crush his beer can. Evan knows harrison will never, ever do anything to ruin your good guy image of him. Ever.
He's pissed, punching a locker as he let's out a growl. 4-0, what the fuck is wrong with his team? How could they get fucked over so bad after weeks of missing parties for shitty practices. Luckily for him, he sees you on the sidelines, probably waiting for Harrison to walk you back to your dorm. He takes this opportunity to slide up behind you, hands on your hips as you can feel his angry erection rutting up against your ass. "You. Me. Locker room, five minutes, stall three. Be ready, underwear off and bent over or I'll take you in front of the guys who are still changing? Got it?" He departs with a harsh smack on your rear.
◇ Joseph Mick, he's in the newspaper, but it's not like he's the head or anything. He just love photography, and he's the only guy at school to have really mastered the dark room. He's known to be a little... odd. He's the youngest in you and Harrisons class, with a petite stature and thin, lanky arms. He's pale, almost gaunt, but that could be a lack of sunlight given that he spends all his time in the dark room or toiling over photo arrangement mock-ups in the journalism room. People avoid him, but he's okay with that. He's more than happy to just watch from a distance, and photography is his real branch to the world. People only talk to him or react positively if he's taking photos for the paper or the school newsletter. He actually meets you at one of Evan's swim meets, he gets good seats for being student press, and you get good seats for just being Evan's new favorite piece of ass. Your aren't even sure why you were invited, you don't even know anything about how one wins a swimming competition. But Joseph does. He's been to enough of these, and you notice, so you lean over and start asking him questions. He's shocked someone is talking to him, and not about getting a bigger feature in the yearbook. He's more than happy to help point stuff out to you, even if he had to repeat himself or stutter his way through something. He's feeling his heart flutter and his hands shake so much so he can barely hold the camera. Soon, he's watching as you walk away, wishing he could grab onto you and hang you up on his wall to admire like one of his pictures. It's only made worse when he sees a pair of masculine arms dragging you into the boys locker room.
He's a stalker, but it's not his fault! For one, he's got no idea how to approach anyone, much less someone he likes as much as you. And since he's got that reputation as a creep, if he approached you in public, Harrison would be polite but firm at shooing him away, Carter would give him a look that makes him feel like a worm beneath his well polished shoes, and Evan would beat him to the brink of death, but then pass him over to his friends. But God, if he didn't think it was worth it sometimes to just be close to you. He can only get as close to you as his high-focus lens will allow. He's got hundreds of photos of you, some taken by him, some by campus security cams, and he treats each one like the piece that's gonna get him into a top art school. He almost feels bad taking risqué shots of you. He's always following you, and he sees the ways those... those pigs are treating you. If he could stand up to them, he would. He sees (from the cameras he's slipped into your bag) the boner Harrison is always sporting when he in your presence, he even caught a glance of Harrisons late night rendezvous with your pillow. He sees the way Carter leads you through the hallways like his little secretary, lithe fingers trying to get up your uniform bottoms. Worst of all is the way he sees Evan humping you in the pool like a dog in heat, with you obviously unsure about how you feel about this. He knows he'd treat you right, if you'd ever consider being with something like him. Notice he almost feels too bad to take risqué pictures. He can't help it if a picture or two from one of his hidden cams has a bit of an upskirt, or gets a little to zoomed in on your pecs. But know that as he drums humps the table in the dark room, those copies are only so he can keep one in his room and one on his person! He'd never, ever share your sexual exploits, not like Evan would, always bragging about what he does with, or more likely to you.
Being on the newspaper staff, he's got a pretty good idea of everyone's schedules. He's more than happy to try and squeak out some words to you if he knows your many admirers are preoccupied. Trust him, he knows A LOT of good spots to share a meal privately or maybe... maybe you'd like to see the dark room? He's even got a pillow in there, a cushion he can place on a soft stool in case you ever came to visit. He hopes he could get a private photoshoot in, maybe with some silly pictures of you, or even some lewd pics, he's just happy to see his collection expand. He doesn't have a lot of money, but he's more than happy to buy you as much cheap vending machine food as you want as long as you'll spend time with him.
"Oh, shi- hey! I didn't realize you'd be stopping by here. I'm just, uh, editing some photos for the paper." You don't notice as he slyly moves a tray of pics taken outside a dorm window that looks suspiciously like yours. He thanks whoever is out there in this moment that the dark room has a sink as he keeps his right hand out of sight.
◇ Tyler Mertz and Percy 'Pez' Goldberg, two outsiders, and self proclaimed 'dudes with bad tudes'. Put into the same headcanon spot because they aren't ever seen apart. Tyler and Pez got in on scholarship, and immediately bonded because they know they don't fit in among the rich kids at Ridgemoore. Tyler got in on a scholarship to pursue culinary excellence, because if he can do one thing, it's cook. Pez was awarded a scholarship by lottery two years ago, and even though he's barely passing most of his classes and is the biggest delinquent in school, he can't be kicked out. The school made too much of a big deal about his acceptance to create some good press, the faculty are planning to just wait the problem out. Repeating a year hasn't helped with that, though. Still, they are attached at the hip. Both struggle in classes, Pez because of a shitty social life and even shittier focus, and Tyler because he's just a little slow. Still, Tyler excels in cooking, and the faculty know he's trying. There's a few ways you might come across the pair. Maybe you decided to take culinary, and got paired up with a sweet, dopey guy who turns out to be a fucking MasterChef, or maybe your a brat!reader, like I mentioned earlier, and you meet Pez in detention, where he's glad to know the schools newest troublemaker is a looker too. Most likely, you come across them when either Evan makes you tag along to buy some weed and half-priced shitty beer for a post-game party, or Carter tells you he'll personally see to it that your father tethers you to him if he sees you talking to those 'deliquents'. Either way, they're probably some of the nicest guys in the school, even though Pez likes to fight. He's not a bad guy, but the school can't seem to recognize half of the shit he does is in retaliation to someone fucking with him or his friend.
Pez will like any kind of reader, any. If you're bratty!reader, he loves having someone to run around and bust shit up with. But he'll promise to leave the statue of your father alone, if that's what you want. If you're an innocent!reader, he can't deny he'd love to ruin that good guy/girl image you have going on. Smoke a little weed, sneak out a little, let him show you a good time. He promises he won't cross any lines or do something that would really scare or upset you. He's not a bad guy, he just wants to show you there's so much stuff out there to do. Unlike Joseph, he doesn't let the fact that others think he's a freak keep him from hanging with you. He wants them to see that you like him. HIM. He thinks your adorable no matter who you are, and frankly, snuggling up on the Headmasters kid is just another act of defiance he's happy to flaunt. Eventually, he might even open up to you about his shitty home life, and the fact he's only called Pez cause' when he's high that candy is all he wants to eat.
Tyler is a huge softie. He doesn't let the thing people say about him get to him, mostly because he's a bit dense in the moment to know he's being made fun of, but also because he's okay with being alone. He's happy with who he is, a nice guy. But, that doesn't mean he doesn't love his best buddy, or mind adding you to there little group. It's just one more mouth to feed in his eyes. He'll walk you to all your classes, slinging his big arms around you and keeping you close to his side. Unlike Pez, he grew up with a pretty loving family, and they're what he misses most about being away at boarding school. Most of the money he makes selling weed with Pez goes back to his family, but they don't really know how he makes it. He comes to see you and Pez as his new little family.
With these two, there will be lots of late nights with bad movies and pizza made from scratch. Being on some rundown couch squished between to large bodies, at least one set of arms wrapped around your waist. I think they both are pretty open about telling each other about the crush they have on you, given that they are best buds. These idiots probably got super high one night, and Tyler let slip that he, quote, 'thinks he wants to put a baby in you', to which Pez replies he'd like to put something along those lines in you too. It wouldn't be hard for them to both come to terms with wanting to share you, they share everything else. They just hope you'd want both of them, Pez and Tyler can't stand the thought of making things awkward by you only wanting one of them, so they both subtly try to transition you into the roll of being their partner.
Pez would be fucking fuming when he starts realizing the things boys at school are doing to you. Whether he witnesses it himself, or you come to him and Tyler seeking comfort, he'll pound the shit out of anyone who tries to touch you like that. If you like someone else, Pez wouldn't wail on them to eliminate a rival like Evan would, but rather he hands it over to Tyler. Tyler would come up with some rumors, maybe a reason the guy isn't right for you, and why would Tyler lie? He doesn't feel great about lying, but thinking about the things guys at this school do to you, fills the sweet chefs stomach with a bitter bile.
They wouldn't outright pressure you into sex, but rather try and find ways to coerce you into requesting or initiating it. Pez has some weed laced with something, nothing too strong, but it'll make even a nun feel a little frisky. He'll lay back or rub your thigh, hoping the weed will relax you enough to come out and say what you want. Maybe an aphrodisiac or two gets slipped into a warm drink Tyler made for you. It gets you feeling all hot, but don't worry, you can stay in their room overnight and wear their clothes, so they can... make sure you're not sick or anything.
"Hey," you can feel a pair of arms wrap around you from your spot at the library table. You look up and see Pez, with Tyler now playfully laying his head on the table beside you. "Heard that shithead Evan's got an away game, so it looks like your freed up after all to spend a little time with your favorite guys." His lips are dangerously close to your ear, making you squirm. "Yeah, man, we've got a bunch of movies n' shit from the store, and I'll even make your favorite. Stay the night, it's not like we've got anywhere to be tommorow, and my beds so cold..." Tyler teases playfully, eyes wide and feigning sadness.
All these boys make it difficult to get any alone time at Ridgemoor, but the men certainly don't make it easier... (Taboo part two with the faculty coming soon, because I'm horny for Dilfs and old men with questionable dynamics with reader.)
#yandere#yandere oc#tw.yandere#yandere fanfiction#yandere boy#tw.bullying#tw.noncon#yandere smut#yandere x reader#x reader#yandere headcanons#tw.dubcon#gender neutral reader#yandere oc x reader#drabble#yandere boarding school#x reader smut#yandere boarding school x reader#tw.breeding
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Imagine max x driver!reader with the whole fia and swearing situation they’d be such a power couple. Manifesting more max fics!! I love all your work esp little bitch and honorary wag💓
okay this is teeeny tiny piece but i just had tooo. max is too iconic
You're sitting beside Max, your boyfriend and teammate, in the press conference room after the qualifying session in Singapore. The air feels thick with humidity and tension, though most of the tension is radiating off Max.
His latest penalty from the FIA—a fine and community service for swearing —has him fuming. He made it very clear on the way in that he wasn’t going to play nice. Today was going to be a day of vague, shady responses, and you were more than happy to back him up.
The moderator starts with the usual question for Max about how he felt securing P2.
“It was fine,” Max replies, voice completely flat. No elaboration, no typical analysis. Just that.
The reporter stares at him, clearly expecting more, but Max leans back in his chair, eyes narrowing slightly as if daring anyone to push him further.
To your right, Lando is barely holding it together, his mouth twitching as he watches the whole scene unfold. You catch his eye and he shoots you a look like, Is this real?
The next question is directed at you. Something predictable about how you’re feeling being P3, your thoughts on tomorrow’s race strategy.
“Well,” you start, raising an eyebrow, “I guess the plan is… to go fast and not crash.”
There’s an awkward silence in the room, the journalist blinking at you as if he didn’t hear you correctly. Lando makes a noise that’s somewhere between a laugh and a cough, struggling to contain himself as you sit there, completely straight-faced.
“And the tire strategy?” the moderator presses, trying to steer things back into something vaguely professional.
“Use them until they wear out, I suppose.” You lean back in your chair, mimicking Max’s posture, crossing your legs casually as if you’ve just given a perfectly reasonable answer. Max looks at you with a cocky and proud smile, you discretely wink at him.
"Max, can you elaborate on your car's performance today?" another reporter tries.
Max tilts his head, considering for a moment. "It went forward when I pushed the pedal, and stopped when I hit the brakes. Very efficient, really."
You can't help but smirk at his response, and you notice Lando has given up on maintaining composure, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
The moderator, looking increasingly uncomfortable, turns to you again. "YN, how do you feel about potentially challenging your teammate for position tomorrow?"
You lean forward, adopting a serious expression. "Well, I've been told it's important to keep things clean on track. Wouldn't want to use any… inappropriate maneuvers."
"Absolutely. We're all about clean racing now. Very family-friendly." Max adds
The reporters exchange glances, clearly unsure how to handle this united front of sarcasm and vague responses. Lando, meanwhile, has resorted to covering his face with his hands, his shoulders visibly shaking with suppressed laughter.
As the press conference draws to a close, you and Max stand up together, your body language mirroring each other's. Before leaving, you turn to the room with a final statement:
"Just want to thank everyone for their thoughtful questions today. This has been a very enlightening experience. Almost as enlightening as some recent FIA decisions."
As you exit the room, hand in hand with Max, you can hear the burst of chatter from the journalists behind you, no doubt trying to decipher the subtext of your responses. Lando catches up with you in the hallway, finally letting out the laugh he's been holding in.
"You two are unbelievable," he wheezes, wiping tears from his eyes. "I thought I was going to lose it in there!"
Max grins, his earlier tension now replaced with a sense of satisfaction. "Well, we aim to entertain," he says, giving your hand a squeeze.
#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfiction#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen story#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen fic#mv1 x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfiction#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfiction#max verstappen#f1 grid x reader#harrysfolklore#max verstappen smut#mv1 fic#max verstappen x you#formula 1 imagine#max verstappen smau#f1 smau
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for the night.
the flight back from a case gets delayed and the team’s forced to book rooms for the night. what a coincidence that you’re paired with spencer.
pairing :: s5!spencer x fem bau!reader
warnings :: fluff, flustered spencer, this is literally just an excuse to write about spencer with crutches
word count :: 1.7k
author’s note :: one of my favorite tropes asfdfafssfsd we all know where this is going right ;)
accompanying song :: let’s fall in love for the night by finneas
“i have to admit, i am quite surprised. engine failures are extremely rare — statistically, they only occur once every 1.4 million flight hours.”
“uh-huh, very interesting.” you roll your eyes, but the smile that tempts to play on your lips is too overpowering to withhold.
“it is!” spencer excitedly flashes you a smile. “we’re actually incredibly lucky to avoid an in-flight shutdown, which typically happens once per million flight hours-”
“reid, i think our luck might be running dry here. it’s 1 a.m., the jet’s engines are acting up, and we can’t leave portland.”
you take both of his crutches in your hands with an exasperated sigh. it’s not his fault, and you know better than to project your annoyance at him, but the disappointment of not being able to enjoy a nice, hot shower in the walls of your home has you uptight.
with an apologetic smile, you extend your shoulder to spencer; slowly, he places his hand on you, and you help him carefully descend the jet’s stairs.
the two of you are the last to join the rest of the group on the ground, and hotch sends an acknowledging nod in your direction once he sees that you’ve been assisting spencer.
“l/n, reid, you guys okay with rooming together for the night?”
the words don’t initially register, and it’s only until spencer speaks up that you realize hotch isn’t asking – he’s confirming.
“we’re rooming in pairs?”
hotch nods, and his sidelong stare roams over spencer’s face like he’s challenging him to continue, to contest his proposal.
“emily? jj?” you pipe up this time, sending a pleading glance at both of them. they look back at you with sheepish smiles.
“it looked like you guys were having a really good conversation back there. didn’t want to disturb you,” emily returns, slowly raising her shoulders and mouthing sorry.
spencer clears his throat and leans into your ear. “i can probably book a room at another place-”
you widen your eyes and immediately shake your head. “no, that’s not necessary, i’m completely fine with it! unless you’re… not?”
this time, spencer’s the one shaking his head fervently. “oh no, i’m entirely comfortable, perfectly content, uh- sharing a room with you.”
you display an awkward grin. “alright then, perfect.”
��
“i’ll set your bag on the table, is that okay?”
“yeah, thanks a lot.”
you heave a sigh of relief as you close the door behind you and rest spencer’s bookbag on the wooden table. spencer slowly lowers himself into a chair, and you gently lean his crutches against the walls near the door.
you’re pleasantly surprised by the room’s decor; its soft carpet floor and mahogany picture frames hanging from the walls easily exceed your expectations for a traditional hotel room.
you’re about to make a comment commending the room’s quality when your eyes zero in on a terrifying sight.
there’s only one bed.
you do a double take, circling around the bedroom once more to check if there’s an extra mattress lying around somewhere – at this point, you really wouldn’t mind if the bed has a trundle.
“fuck me.”
“what?”
spencer’s eyes immediately divert to you, and he stifles his reaction to your comment with a hasty cough.
you point to the bed, which prompts spencer to crane his neck to get a better view.
“there’s only one bed.”
spencer’s eyes widen, and his gaze snaps up to your face so fast you wonder if you’ve just made a grave mistake of telling him.
he was bound to find out anyway.
“it’s okay, i’ll take-” you start, but he cuts you off short.
“the floor? not a chance.”
you press your lips together tightly and gesture to his leg. “please, take the bed. your leg… you’re injured.”
spencer looks down at the floor briefly, a light shade of pink spreading across his face. “no, we can… we can share the bed.”
you feel your cheeks grow hot at his suggestion, but a refusal fails to surface on your lips.
moving your hands to your hips, you nod slowly. “only because you’re insisting,” you murmur.
a brief silence veils the air, and the two of you have utterly no idea what to do next — neither of you wants to be the one to crawl into bed first.
but the clock’s hour hand had just moved past the two, and you know your eyelids aren’t going to stay open for much longer.
with a weary sigh, you gesture towards the lightswitch. “do you mind if we dimmed the lights a little?”
spencer turns, almost hobbling on his leg, and flips the switch for you. the room turns dark almost instantly, but a faint light emanates from a lamp on the nightstand.
“are you, um, going to sleep soon?”
you hate to be the first one to bring it up, but you have to — you can practically feel the tiredness tempting you like a fuzzy blanket.
“uh yeah, we should sleep.”
you watch as spencer grabs a pillow from his side of the bed and positions it near the edge of the mattress. you’re about to ask him what he’s doing when he props himself onto the bed and rests his leg on top of the pillow, elevating his casted knee.
oh. as the realization hits you, you reach for your own pillow and gently place it next to his head. “here, use this.”
“that’s your pillow.”
“i know.”
a soft chuckle sounds from his throat as spencer raises his head ever so slightly, allowing you to tuck the pillow beneath him.
“thanks,” he murmurs, and pats at the space next to him, urging you to join him on the bed.
once you’ve slipped your feet into the blanket, spencer stretches his arm to turn off the lamp and moves back to whisper a hushed good night into your ear.
you turn to say it back. “good n-”
his hand gently starts to wedge under your neck, and as he moves, strands of your hair coil around his fingers.
he’s offering his arm as a pillow.
you lie frozen, your breath hitched in your throat, as his arm extends fully beneath you.
“spence,” you exhale, caught off-guard by the sudden move.
“it’s okay. don’t worry about me,” he softly whispers, inclining his head towards your face.
you smile, though you doubt he can see your face in the pitch-black darkness.
“sweet dreams,” you hum, and close your eyes to let sleep overtake you.
—
you wake up not to the sound of your alarm, not to the birds usually perched on the tree outside your window, but to the sound of spencer clearing his throat.
you think it’s a dream at first, but you can feel everything — the vibrations coming from his throat like he’s talking to you, his hands stroking a pattern on your back, his breaths tickling your hair.
you open your eyes to see spencer staring back at you with flustered cheeks, his eyes flickering back and forth between your face and…
you follow his gaze and look down, only to see that your leg’s wrapped casually around his hips, anchoring him to the bed. with a panicked yelp, you immediately retract your leg and leap out of the bed, frantically apologizing to him over and over again.
“i’m so sorry about that, d-did i hurt you?”
your voice sounds scratchy from your parched throat, but how you sound right now is the least of your concerns.
spencer chuckles softly before slowly sitting up. “no, you didn’t do anything.”
you let out a relieved sigh at his response.
spencer grunts as he lifts himself up, tenderly listening to your continued apologies with a warm smile.
“by the way,” he starts, fixing his tie and reaching for his suit jacket, “we're a little late.”
“what?” you gasp, hurriedly tucking your dress shirt into your trousers, “fuck. how late?”
a pause, and then: “five minutes and twenty seconds.”
“oh my god,” you squeal as you fling your and spencer’s bag over your shoulders, “they’re probably all waiting for us.”
quickly turning the doorknob and making way for spencer’s crutches to move past the door, you rush to the elevator and hit the juddering call button.
“next time, you’re-“ you cough out as you try to catch your breath, “-you’re welcome to just push me off the bed. it’s guaranteed to wake me up instantly.”
spencer looks at you questioningly, a small grin spreading across his lips. “next time?”
you clasp a hand over your mouth. “wait no, i meant – hopefully we’ll never have to sleep in a room together ever again, but i’m saying in case-“
spencer tilts his head and lets out an amused laugh. thankfully, the elevator doors open just in time, and you’re spared the trouble of having to explain yourself further.
you bite your lips as the image of his lopsided grin lingers in the back of your mind, and the fresh regret of your words burns your face like a hot fever.
the embarrassment doesn’t end, however, as the doors open once again to reveal your team standing right outside. when the elevator’s chime echoes throughout the lobby, everyone’s heads turn to you and spencer.
you walk out with nervous steps, grimacing when hotch merely nods and announces that the plane is ready for takeoff. spencer makes his way over to derek, who tousles his hair teasingly.
“so, how’d you sleep last night?”
you freeze when rossi’s husky voice drifts into your ears.
you force out a smile. “i definitely could’ve slept better.”
“really?” he hums with a smirk, “i slept like a baby.”
“yeah, you upgraded your room, we get it, you’re rich,” you sigh, eliciting a hearty chuckle from the older agent.
once seated in your usual seat on the jet, you’re accompanied by spencer and morgan, who slump into their seats across from you.
you watch suspiciously as morgan wiggles his eyebrows at you and nudges his elbow into spencer’s sides. “so, late night, huh?”
spencer looks at you briefly, flushed cheeks failing to suppress the smile splaying across his face.
“shut up.”
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x you
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