#/my circus my monkeys but tolkien

[that-angry-noldo]

today i got called "a person who yeets sad finarfin juice onto tumblr" in a discord server totally unrelated to me and that was my absolute moment of internet fame. nothing will ever top this. i want this engraved on my tombstone

[0zeeraa0]

me watching LOTR fans and ASOIAF fans fighting constantly about weather Tolkien is the better author or George:

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Ok, but i can just imagine, many years post canon in valinor when legolas is visiting the twins at the same time as the kidnap dads are visiting elrond:

Maglor, trying to be friendly with his grandsons’ friend: so... what are your thoughts in regards to the kinslayings?

Legolas: idk, i mean it’s not like i was directly affected by it so i can’t exactly hold out too much judgement. Also, while horrible, the shit ya’ll did does not even come near my top 100 fucked up things i’ve witnessed while in middle earth.

Maedhros: wasn’t- wasn’t your grandfather, oropher, from Doriath though?

Legolas: lmao, yeah, but if you think he didn’t contemplate murder, specifically regicide, a time or 100, then you’ve clearly never met him.

Legolas: besides, he once tried to destroy the world way back in the days before Orome stumbled across the elves, he has no leg to stand on.

Maedhros:...

Maglor: your dad, though?

Legolas: both my father and grandmother chose to stay with the silvans when they split off during the great journey. So even if grandfather Oropher had died in doriath, it wouldn’t have affected my existence.

Legolas: so like i said, it’s really not my place to hold a grudge against you when there are plenty of elves that were actually affected by it doing the job just fine.

.——————————————————

Btw, this is my Miriel and thranduil are twins au so don’t come at me with “but that’s not canon!”

[spookshowcinema-blog]

Library of the Damned: Servant of the Underworld

Welcome kiddos to Library of the Damned. Remember books? Those things the other kids used to throw at you in school? The magical well from which movies and TV shows emerge? Well it turns out that they’re pretty great. Who knew? So in addition to Podcasts, Movies, and Comics, we’ll be taking a look at the oldest and classiest medium there is, Literature! Today’s feature: Aliette de Bodard’s  Servant of the Underworld .

Servant of the Underworld is a (wait for it), “Meso-American Fantasy Noir” (ooh, it gives me goosebumps every time I get to type that out) set in a fictionalized version of Tenochitlan, the capital of the Mexica empire. “But Mateo”, you say, “why are you covering a fantasy novel on a horror blog?” Well, A. Fuck you. My Circus, My Monkeys.  And B. Have you read anything about Aztec Mythology?

If you have, congratulations! We can probably be friends! If not, well I can’t blame you. Aztec Mythology is some of the most brutal and intense mythos floating out there in the stratosphere, and it has been pretty much ignored by Western Fantasy Fiction. In a world where every kid in America can name at least three norse gods right after they finish watching Hercules on Blu Ray, the Myths and stories of the Mexica remain untapped.

If it sounds like I’m about to start frothing at the mouth and start screaming about the lack of representation of Meso-American Fantasy Fiction, it’s because I probably am. So before the men in white coats put me in a straight jacket and throw me in a padded cell, let’s dig into Servant of the Underworld!

In Servant of the Underworld, we follow Acatl-tzin, the High Priest of the Dead. As the High Priest to the God of Death Mictlantecuhtli, it is Acatl’s responsibility to determine cause of death as well performing the holy rituals to send the dead safely into the underworld. When a powerful priestess is seemingly killed and his brother is framed for the crime, Acatl is tasked with hunting down the culprits and clearing his brother’s name. Over the course of his investigation, Acatl runs afoul of demons, interrogates capricious Gods, and quite possibly saves the fifth world.

This book is good folks. Like really good. It’s so good that even though I’ve got it on Audiobook, I want to rush out and buy it in hardcover so that I can give it a place of honor on my bookshelf. I want to lend it to everyone I know who reads books. I want to lend it to everyone I know who doesn’t read books! I want to read overblown think pieces written about that trend on facebook. I want to geek out about its TV adaptation and listen to weekly episode recap podcasts about it!

I like it, is what I’m saying.

What makes this book so good? A lot of things, but we can basically boil it down to two key traits; quality and rarity.Quality pretty much speaks for itself. Servant of the Underworld is a well written novel with solid prose and solid pacing. More specifically, it’s an excellent example of the Fantasy Noir Sub-Genre.

Fantasy Noir is a peculiar sub-genre. The two genres it’s meant to combine don’t seem like natural bedfellows in the same way that other popular cross-genre mashup do. I’m talking mainstays like the action-comedy and Fantasy-Romances. But when you look at the international success of series like “The Witcher” and Terry Pratchett’s “City Watch” books, it’s clear that there’s something in the genre that resonates with readers.

For its part, Servant of the Underworld scratches both the fantasy and noir itches nicely. Like any good noir the stakes start out small and spiral outward to greater and greater levels. As it’s not bound by the constraints of reality, the stakes end up at world ending proportions, a nice touch that puts the “vast” in noir’s vast conspiracy. As a fantasy novel, Servant of the Underworld paint a rich and vibrant world of blood magic and sacred ritual. The magical and social laws that govern this world make sense, and feel fresh to longtime readers of the genre.

Rarity, on the other hand, is a bit less self-explanatory. Remember how I warned you about frothing at the mouth and the men in white coats? Well this is where that might happen. Rarity, in regards to Servant of the Underworld, refers to the fact that aside from its own sequels, there really isn’t another book like it.

Fantasy is a genre that’s dominated by European folklore and mythology. Fantasy Novels are jam packed with aged Wizards and illustrious Elves, filled to the brim with rosy cheeked Dwarves and savage Orcs. We can thank Tolkien and his seminal Lord of The Rings series for this. For better or for worse, his books served as the backbone for what the Fantasy genre would become.  

This status quo isn’t typically a bad thing. The familiar is familiar because it is comforting and enjoyable. But we’ve gotten to the point where European Fantasy worlds are not only the norm, but the only option. Fantasy is meant to be a genre made of impossibilities, a well infinite realities and endless wonders. And yet, rather than a countless cavalcade of new ideas, we find a ceaseless stream of variations on the same old idea.

Servant of the Underworld is the best Meso-American Fantasy book I’ve ever read. It’s also the only Meso-American Fantasy book I’ve ever read. I want to read more like it, and right now those books aren’t out there. Let’s change that.

[that-angry-noldo]

i think the one thing you could never guess about me is that i entered this fandom as first and foremost a melkor girlie. fr cheered and clapped yelling "that's my son" every time he appeared in the text

anyways yeah. useless confession time

[that-angry-noldo]

it's 8:30, i am sick, and unironically writing an aegnor apologism essay. i think i got my priorities wrong somewhere along the way.

[that-angry-noldo]

by the way, to all the people who left nice comments/spam liked/reblogged with nice words my werefinrod stuff: thank you

the next part is taking longer than expected but this motivates me a lot and i'm glad people are enjoying it :)

[that-angry-noldo]

my sister, looking at the cover of beren and luthien: why is this girl riding a dog?

me: the dog saved her from its owner

my sister: oh. what did the owner do?

me: wanted to marry her

my sister: marry the... dog?....

[that-angry-noldo]

"do you know how the orcs first came to be?" i ask the cute boy in the cafe and while he thinks it is a nerdy pick-up line i fully intend to go ballistic on pj's movies and introduce him to the wast despair of silmarillion. and then i'm going to break him by revealing tolkien himself had no idea. he's probably going to walk out of the cafe immediately after but hey, it'll be worth it

[that-angry-noldo]

bonus! lyrics i associate with them under the cut

Finarfin:

"I'm just a man who's trying to go home - even after all the years away from what I've known"

"Will these actions hunt my dreams - every man I've slain? Is the price I pay - endless pain?"

"What good will killing do, when mercy is a skill more of this world could learn to use?"

Hurin

"oh, bring it on! I'm not dying here, I'm still fighting here! I'm holding on, 'til I see it through, til I've beaten you!"

"I'm just a man who's fighting for his life - deep down I would trade the world to see my son and wife!"

Luthien

"Gibe me sirens and a hydra! Bring me giants and a cyclops! I know life and fate are scary, but I wanna be legendary"

(there are no particular lyrics for her from hermes, she just has his vibes)

Turin

"There are strangers in our house - trying to win the heart of my mum, but she is standing tall..."

"They're getting impatient, dangerous too... And I would fight them if I was half as strong as you!!"

Fingolfin

"Have you forgotten the lessons I thaught you? He's still a threat, until he's dead! Finish it."

"You were reckless, sentimental at best; that's not a teaching of mine."

"One day, you'll hear what I'm saying - one day, you might understand; one day, but not today, for after all, you're just a man."

Finrod

"I know that you're tired of the war and bloodshed; tell me, is this how we're supposed to live? Look at how you grip your sword - enough said! Why should we take when we could give?"

"This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms; I see in your face - there is so much guilt inside your heart... So why not replace it and light up the world, here's how to start: greet the world with open arms, greet the world with open arms."

Melkor:

"Enlighten me, King of Ithaca! Since hunger was far too great, I wonder who'd take the weight of the damned and suffer a gruesome fate to the Thunder Bringer, here to ring your ears until your deaf with fear and spear you while your death is near! Lighting wielder, here to yield your time for you have passed your prime, sublime you for your act of crime!"

Brodda

"This is how they hold us down - till the throne gets colder; hold our down, till we slowly age; hold us down while boy gets bolder, where the hell is our pride and our rage?!"

(the entire "hold them down" to be honest, i'm not typing all of that)

[that-angry-noldo]

Writing prompt list - send me a character and a prompt and i'll try to write something based on it!

Angst

finale

survivor

funeral

failure

anticipation

isolation

resignation

war

fate

silence

doom

whisper

guilt

fire

grave

grief/mourning

aftermath

forced to watch

Fluff

walk

enthusiasm

letter

memory

unity

rain

embrace

stars

snow

dream

warmth

fairytale

home

hobby

friendship

trust

teasing

hug

(You can combine multiple prompts or prompts from both categories if you'd like!)

[that-angry-noldo]

i want to talk about my finarfin & mental health headcanons

[that-angry-noldo]

names in quenya: literally chill. combine two words, maybe add a suffix. the world is your oyster

names in sindarin: ALRIGHT HERE ARE 35647 RULES YOU NEED TO OBEY IN ORDER TO COMBINE TWO WORDS. IF YOU DON'T I'LL SHOOT YOU WHERE YOU STAND

[that-angry-noldo]

werewolf Finrod. do you see my vision

[that-angry-noldo]

No, actually, I want to talk about how most of my tolkien "unpopular opinions" and dislike for "everything's not so simple" comes from russian fandom.

When I only started getting into the fandom, russian really was my only way to do so. Ukrainian fanfiction was fairly underdeveloped (or I didn't have the skills to find better sources), and my knowledge of english was... poor, to say the least. So, yeah, russian fandom that is.

And boy, oh boy, what an experience that was. Russian most popular trope, unsurprisingly, was "everything's not so simple".

Kinslayings? Not so simple, Feanor was justified. Lay of Leithtian? Beren is a monster and should be burnt; Luthien is a naive girl who travels naked, actually; Celegorm and Curufin are her noble resquers; Finrod deserves to die for his idiotism. Miriel & Indis? Why is it even a question, of course Indis is an evil stepmother, of course Miriel is pure and without a flaw, of course 2nd & 3rd houses shouldn't have existed!

The Valar? Hey, did you know russians have "The Black Book of Arda" - a book that is basically about poor little Melkor being right and cruel and scary Valar being mean to him?

I read many fics, but there were three that stuck to me the most (i don't remember their names, though): the one that wanted to retell the silmarillion in the "right" way, the one that basically said C&C were right for capturing and threatening Luthien, and the one where everyone was evil, except elves who lived in Beleriand.

The first one... the first one was basically a huge Feanor apologism, even though the author claimed that they were "just adding nuance" and that "you should always look past the text implications" and that "you can't be in the right if you don't spill a bit of blood, actually". I mean, even if at one point author implies that yeah, 2nd and 3rd houses shouldn't have really existed, it's a huge red flag for me.

The second one, well - the plot goes like this: C&C capture Luthien; C&C talk with Luthien; the talk goes basically like this: "Look little miss, you are your father's daughter. Your father has an army. What we're saying is, you marry Celegorm, he won't love you, you won't love him, yeah you'll be unhappy, your Beren is dead anyways, all we need you for is basically your dad's army." And it is painted as a right decision for Luthien to forsake Beren and marry Celegorm. When someone in the comments said "hey, don't you think what the feanorians told luthien was pretty off the rails?", the author exploded, saying, again, that we should see nuance, and that luthien made the right choice not retrieving the silmarill that would cause 2nd kinslaying and that C&C are much more well-thought that Finrod, and that yeah Finrod is an idiot and the fact that he and Beren will now inevitably die and his death will be pointless - well, sucks to suck, I guess.

Brr. I still get flashbacks from that comment section.

The last one basically shitted on humans. Humans? Oh you mean magicless filthy creatures who only lie, insult and are parasites that need to be destroyed? And everyone who's not an elf should die? And the elves under Valar influence should die, too? And Valar are actually parasites? And Eru is a myth? Yeah. Yeah you know what.

Russian fandom yells about "nuance" but their nuance are just sides switched. Black becomes white, white becomes black. And if you disagree, well, you clearly can't see past the 2nd-3rd Houses biased Noldor propaganda and should therefore be destroyed. (Ha. Seeing some paralels with real life now, honestly.)

That's why I left, kinda. I just felt so tired, all the time. This is why I prefered LoL as a fairytale, and this is why I mostly prefer following canon. Because for me Tolkien was an escapism, first and foremost, but I felt like I needed to have entire essays at hand just to defend my love for it.

In conclusion, I was an unprepared Ukrainian thrown in the mist of Misterious Russian Soul™ and was gradually taking 1d4 confusion damage, until I was so tired I left entirely. And I'm glad I did so, because English fandom is so much more chill, and when people say/criticise something, they do specify that it is just their opinion on a fictional world and people don't have to wage wars and write multiple essays to enjoy their fave.

P.S. My biggest beef to this day is Finarfin being portrayed as a tiny whiny man unable to raise his voice. Whenever I remember that fic I immediately want to bite. But it's just me, probably.

[that-angry-noldo]

i have lost all my self control i am translating skovoroda to quenya