#/iamsoTIRED

[lucielxbe]

NGS2P2. ⋆ interview; reflecting.

the usual interviews, luciel is used to answering questions in front of the camera. he’s relaxed, but he maintains his posture straight. an interview is yet again another performance of playing a role. while he waits for his turn, he thinks the list of possible questions that would be asked. since this is after the performances, there’s most likely going to be some reflecting.

as someone with a classical music background, what do you think of your performance? was it unusual?

there it is. luciel rests his clasped hands on a leg, tilts his head to the side as if pondering. “it was something relatively new to me. i’m more used to performances with an atmospheric feel to it that evokes strong emotions to the listener from the soundscape… so i’ve learnt a lot of new perspectives. i think i did quite well for my first time, and i’m satisfied with it. but of course, i’m not stopping at just being satisfied. i’m going to be even better the next time and come back with an improved version of myself.”

were there any challenges you struggled with particularly?

“rapping was one of them,” an embarrassed chuckle came. “it’s not something my parents are going to be too happy about… so the entire time i wasn’t, feeling it, you know? if i can’t feel it, then i can’t do it. there was some fear and guilt that was lingering at the back of my head. it took me a while… for that, i’m grateful to seira for helping me overcome it. i have more confidence in rapping now, and i want to explore more styles in the future.”

do you think your rank will go up after the performance? is there a specific rank you’re aiming for?

at this, luciel makes an ‘aah’ expression. he presses his lips before answering, “i would hope so. if my rank didn’t go up after all that, i won’t be too happy about it. it means that i didn’t improve at all from my auditions. as for what rank i’m aiming for… i don’t just want to jump by one or two ranks, i want to be somewhere near the top. it’s natural that everyone wants a high rank, i’m the same. i didn’t come here to just only be satisfied.” although what luciel was truly aiming for is the rank at the very top. he doesn’t say that… not yet. for now, he wants to remain a little humble.

you were labelled as part of the ‘strange cast’ during your auditions, how do you feel about that?

just strange, huh? that was rather hilarious. “was it because i surprised the judges with a variety of skills from me?” his expressions didn’t change much throughout the interview until now, it seems like he finds this question amusing. “i don’t think it’s strange, rather, i believe i’m fortunate. it’s thanks to my family that i was given the opportunities to try out various things in my life — them approving of it is… an entirely new point,” he adds the last part with a lighthearted laugh. “i don’t just try out new things, i also make sure that i work hard in everything i try out and to not leave it as just a memory in my life. i always, burn the experience in my body.”

is there anything you’re looking forward to as the show moves forward?

“working together in a group, that’s what i’m looking forward to. it’s been solo performances up until now, and even back in the classical scene i’ve always been more of a soloist. so i’d like to expand to performing in a group. every individual is unique here, so i want to get to know more of how everyone conveys their story in music. how they feel about it.”

the interview stops there, but luciel’s thoughts did not come to a halt. he thinks about what his friend, a fellow contestant, had said to him: are you here to feel something?

he’s right. that’s what luciel is here for — to see if this show can start a fire within his empty darkness, to see if he can have a taste of what it means to be truly alive. he’s felt it for a brief moment when he was performing the first mission, but it faded away as quickly as it came. it’s as if god blew off the candle the moment it was lit.

[clusts]

#endometriosis #chronic pain #chronicfatigue #pain #painmanagement #adenomyosis #iamsotired #icantgoonlikethisanymore #helpme #tryingtofindhope #depression #don'tgiveup #keepgoing #endowarrior #keepfighting

Having a shitty day. Hope you're having a better day.

[11docs]

How I've been feeling since last week.

[alyssawolfer]

sleepy eyes

[kcspoetry]

brother.

Stranger with my face,

Do you remember me,

A boy of six,

you just eight.

She told me,

A boy your age,

Should be so calm.

A boy of eight. He didnt need, My words so small, A boy of six, A world so tall,

His life so large, Lies fed to him,

I failed you now,

Again Again.

Your children now, 18 and then,

I failed you then,

Again,

Again.

I wish I could feel you again again,

Your hands to me again again.

32 years, lost to me,

again, again.

[riverfox99]

Line art sketch illustration of John & Everlys first day of meeting.

Cue the lore 👉👉

Everlys first ever field mission, yes, she actually got forced out of the lab and cue MC luck, had a TERRIBLE time. So, the bodyguards they had, had to call for urgent reinforcements - the nearest soldiers were not UN, but Legion Enterprises soldiers that answered the call ✌️

Poor John had to babysit Everly quite closely 😅 since her real world skills are none and she nearly dies like a bagillion times.

[elisabeta-darling]

iamsotired.

[youropiniondoesnotmattertome]

25.10.2023

22 weeks 4 day

Ya Allah, berikanlah aku kekuatan & kesabaran di saat aku merasa sangat lelah dengan keadaan ku kini.

#iamsotired

[just-another-anonomus]

Iamsotired

[kehideni]

I am so tired iam so tired iamso tired iamsotired

[deliciousmicroplastics]

iamsotired but im gonna do one of the onboarding forms and work on fanfic tonight nonetheless

[arshnoorbach]

#iamsotired

[isha-just-isha]

i need a moment to scream in the void: * iamsotired iamsotired iamsotired iamsotired IAMSOTIRED IAMSOTIRED IAMSOTIRED IAMSOTIRED * ~~~holding space here if you need to scream~~~

[infozone]

I'm So Tired X Girls Like You X Ban Ja Rani X Chale Aana (Mashup by Shaurya Kapoor)

 #chaleaana #chaleana #mashup #girls #tiredgirl #banjarani #rani #song #singing #songvideo #shauryakapoor #songchannel #videosong #girllikeyou #iamsotired #i'msotired #tired

[this-possum-cries]

Five hun rid twenny five thou sin six hond red mean nuts

or whatever, I don't know the musical

[the-7th-one-of-us]

My only goal on this Tumblr blog is to post bad fanfiction and shit post a whole ton.