#/he can never tell if they're dating or not but he definitely saw them make out once

[barcenal999]

Ava's going pro

Lucy Bronze x Bronze!daughterOC

Summary: Lucy was a teen mom and her 17 year old daughter tells her she's signing her first professional contract with Barcelona

It's set in Janurary 2024

Tags: fluff

Word count: 5k

A/N: I've posted this on AO3 before, but decided to start posting here

Ava made two cups of tea and came up to Lucy, who was sitting on the couch and reading a book. Probably something she would recommend to her later.

"Mom? Can we talk?" She didn't even know why she was so stressed about it. It's not like her going pro was something they never talked about. It's just that everyone always assumed she would finish high school first.

Lucy put down her book, patting the seat beside her, for the teenager to take. "Sure. What is it? A new coming out? You're straight? You're trans? You know you can always tell me, it's not like it would change anything in the way I love you." Lucy was never good with talking about serious subjects, so when she felt one coming, she rambled before Ava could even bring up the topic. "Please tell me you're not pregnant. Please don't make the same mistakes I did. I mean, you're not a mistake. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me..." She would have probably been rambling forever if she wasn't interrupted.

"Mom! Stop! Please. I'm not pregnant. You've been teaching me about safe sex and using protection since I was 13 years old."

"Well you know it's good to teach your kid about protection when they're younger than you were, when you got pregnant with them. It's the first rule of being a teen parent.” Lucy got pregnant when she wasn’t even 15 yet. She was deep in denial, trying to convince herself that she wasn’t a lesbian. Dating an 18 years old boy however, ended with her accepting that she had no interest in boys. 2 months after breaking up with him, she found out she was gonna be a single lesbian teen mom. „And it's good that you're not pregnant. There's already enough people living in this house."

"And who's fault is that?" Ava laughed at her mother and was thankful for her deflection. Being bad at talking about serious subjects was definitely genetic.

"Hey! You said you were okay with my poliamory."

"Yes mom, I'm great with it and I like both Keira and Ona. Can we stop talking about sex and relationships now, and talk about the important thing I have to ask you?"

Lucy sighed, getting herself ready for anything her daughter could throw at her. While Ava took a sip of her tea, the footballer decided it would be safest to put her cup down on the coffee table.

Ava took a deep breath to psyche herself up.

"How would you feel if I played with you on the team? Like, if I signed with Barca?" Her fingers seemed surprisingly interesting in that moment.

"Well, I already assumed that it would be Barça you would be signing with when you go pro. By why are you asking me now? You still have over a year of school left."

"So about that... you remember how some of us from the B team have been invited to train with you a week ago?" She hesitantly looked up at Lucy, and only continued when she saw her nod her head. She was surprised that the only thing she saw on her mom's face was curiosity, which gave her a boost of confidence. "Jona approached me and offered me a first team contract, since my contract for the B team is ending. He said that the details could be discussed when you agree."

Lucy's smile grew as her daughter kept talking. When she finished, she pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

"That's wonderful that they noticed you honey. I don't think you should be asking me for permission. You're almost an adult and I think it's your decision, but I would be thrilled to play beside you.” She took Ava’s face in her hands and directed her to look her in the eyes. „I’m so proud of you. It’s like yesterday you were barely walking and already kicking a ball, and now you’re 17 and signing a contract with the best club in Europe.” She kissed her daughter’s forehead and let go of her face, trying to hide the tears filling her eyes.

So many years of doing her best at raising Ava, having the serious conversations when they were needed, yet she still couldn’t hold herself together. Immense pride filled her every time Ava achieved something new and she couldn’t control her emotions.

„I just want to be sure, that you’re ready for it.” The teenager stayed calm, as if it was her whos kid was about to sign a lifechanging contract, not the other way around. „Everyone will find out that you have me. The fans will know how young you had me.”

„I’ve had years to learn how to deal with the fans.” Lucy couldn’t get used to how mature her daughter has become. „How about we deal with it the good old Bronze way?"

„Tell no one and see how that goes for us? Sounds good to me. I wanna see people freak out and try to figure out our connection. My old teammates would always freak out about things like that. They’d create all of those speculations and conspiracy theories and I couldn’t say anything.”

That’s when they knew the conversation was over. Both Bronze women laughing and already turning on the TV, to watch another episode of Station 19.

When Keira and Ona came home a few hours later, there was a celebratory dinner waiting. Lucy didn’t let Ava help with any of the cooking and didn’t even let her set the table. „We’re celebrating you, so go sit down and put some music on.” She said, when the teen came asking what to do.

Ava was a big music fan and making hours long spotify queues and playlists was something she loved doing. Finding new music and then sharing it with her family was kind of a hobby for her.

„What is that smell?” Ona asked Ava, when she came up to greet her with a hug.

„I don’t know, she wouldn’t let me help, or even enter the kitchen.” Ava shrugged. „But if I was guessing from the smell, I would say she’s making my favourite lemon and chilli shrimp.” The smirk on her face told then, that she knew that was exactly that.

„Lucy! Why didn’t you let your kid help you with dinner?”

„It’s a special occasion! We’re celebrating her. I can’t let my daughter cook her own celebratory dinner.” When the two younger women heard that, Ona turned to look at Ava, while Keira turned to Lucy.

"What did you do?"

„Lucy! You weren’t supposed to encourage violent behaviour!”

They both said it at the same time and this time Lucy smiled sheepishly, like she actually had something to be ashamed of.

To be honest, the last time Lucy made a celebratory dinner for her daughter, was when Ava beat up a homophobe. When she picked her up from school, she told her teachers she would deal with her at home, but instead made a whole day celebrating her. She had to face a scolding from both her girlfriends that day.

„I didn’t do anything!” Ava lifted her hands in surrender.

„Yes you did. You are incredible.” Lucy said to the teenager and then turned to her girlfriends. „We’ll tell you as we eat.” They moved to the dining room and she grabbed an already opened bottle of white wine. “Ava? Do you want some?”

Lucy preferred for Ava to learn to drink responsibly under supervision, than for her to go out and learn it by drinking irresponsibly. She knew that her going out to drink with friends was inevitable, but she wanted for her to know how the alcohol affects her beforehand.

They finally sat down and Lucy distributed the shrimp (Ava was right) equally for everyone. As Ava started eagerly eating her dinner, Ona and Keira looked at Lucy expectantly. They were still sceptical, not sure if what they hear will actually be positive.

“So what’s the news?” Ava put down her fork, to tell them, but Lucy was faster.

“The details have not been discussed with the club yet, but Ava told me today, that she was offered a full senior team contract from Barca.” Both women who just heard the news stood up and wrapped the teenager in a tight hug.

“They said to discuss it with mom and then we’ll negotiate the contract. We’ll probably do the negotiations the day after tomorrow, since mom already called them to set it up. And it’s not like I need for them to pay me much, I’m not planning on moving out anytime soon. I already told mom I’ll contribute to the living costs accordingly, but she told me to save up the money and not worry about it.”

“It’s gonna be so fun to play and train with you!” Ona beamed. “We’re gonna cause so much mayhem.” She whispered in her ear, so that neither of the responsible adults (mostly Keira, neither of them was sure that Lucy could be called a responsible adult) could hear.

Lucy couldn’t believe this was her life. Two beautiful and wonderful girlfriends, who cared for her daughter. Ava starting a professional football career at just 17 years old. All four of them living their dreams in sunny Barcelona.

...

A week later, after Lucy’s morning field practice and Ava skipping out halfway through her school day, they were sitting in a room with a bunch of FC Barcelona officials, some of the coaching stuff. Pen in hand, number 17 shirt with the name A. Bronze on the back, Ava signed her contract. At first Lucy hid behind the cameras, not wanting to be captured by the media team. They also took some pictures with her in them, for later and for private use.

The team had an afternoon gym session that day, that Ava would be joining them on for the first time. They didn’t tell the rest of the team, besides the captains, about her contract, so it was going to be a surprise.

When everyone was finally in the gym, starting their workouts, Ava waited out the door with Jona. She was wearing her brand new training gear, with number 17. The coach entered the gym first, telling her to wait outside. He then got everyone’s attention. It took about 3 minutes, but finally everyone was quiet and looking at him.

��Most of you don’t know this yet, but we have a new player joining us, who just signed her contract.” It wasn’t surprising to have new people signing, since it was the middle of the January transfer window, and players often joined teams before it was announced.” Before I let her in, I’m seriously warning you, not to burn the whole training centre to the ground with her involved.” He pointed at the group of younger players. “I’m talking to you.” He opened the door to let Ava enter. “Everyone, welcome Baby England to the team!”

“Lucy why is your baby in our gym?!”

“Lucy you lost your kid again!”

“A little baby! Can I hold her?!”

“Jona! It’s dangerous to have little kids running around the gym.”

The teasing exploded within the gym, which caused Ava to frown. She tried to look upset, but in reality it made her happy, that she just signed her contract and her teammates immediately accepted her into their group, by teasing her and being annoying. This team was incredibly tight knit, many people bleeding blaugrana (Alexia especially). They were a family, and even though she, as Lucy’s daughter, was kind of already a part of it, now as their teammate she could finally be its actual member.

After about a minute of the room being filled with their teammates voices and laughter, Alexia decided that it was enough of teasing for Ava’s first hour on the team.

“Ok idiotas! Leave the kid be and get back to work. Vamos!" When everybody seemed to return to their own devices, Alexia turned to the teen. "We’re happy you’re joining us Ava and if you ever need anything and want to talk to someone who isn’t your mother or her girlfriends, I’m always there.”

After that, the team got back to their workouts, Jona explaining to Ava what she was supposed to be doing, and leaving them to be looked at by the performance coaching team.

When halfway throughout the session, their phones started to blow up (mostly Lucy’s), they knew that Ava joining the team has been announced to the public, and the mayhem of speculation has started.

The post description stated:

fcbfemeni We’re happy to announce, finishing her B team contract, U-20 England Lioness Ava Bronze has signed a 2 year senior team contract! Welcome to the family!

“Just so you know” Lucy warned everyone. “We’re not saying anything about Ava’s relation to me. We decided it would be funny to let the fans make up their own theories.”

“Idiotes” muttered Alexia, but her face was showing nothing but amusement.

Mapi, who was standing next to her, the two doing their rehab exercises together, burst out laughing.

“I think you mean geniuses!” She got a glare from unimpressed Ingrid.

“I can’t wait to watch all of the theories on tiktok.” Stated Ava. “Or tumblr. That one’s crazy, cause most people there are more or less anonymous. Some of you wouldn’t survive there.” She laughed to herself, thinking about the fanfics and crazy posts she’s seen on there.

“You have to show me.” Stated Mapi.

“I wanna see that.” Jana joined the conversation. “Mapi, can we create a tumblr account for you?”

“Si” She turned to Ingrid, who was already rubbing her temples, with a big grin on her face. “The kids will teach me the internet.”

“You guys, back to work, you can talk when we finish.” Alexia went back to her captain self.

...

Three days after Ava’s signing was announced, before they started their evening movie, she was reading speculation posts on social media. She was going through a post comparing her and Lucy’s characteristics, when Keira looked over her shoulder. (Lucy and her girlfriends usually respected her privacy, but now, they became her annoying older teammates, so the privacy went out the window.)

“How are you feeling with all that social media attention? Did the fact that your private life isn’t so private, catch up to you yet?”

“Nice try.” The teen switched her phone off. “My mom is considered one of the hottest female football players, and most of my friends growing up were women’s football fans. Let’s just say that your friends swooning over your mother, is both hilarious and traumatising.” Keira jumped over the back of the couch and sat next to her girlfriend’s daughter.

“Can’t blame them for appreciating how hot she is.” Ava smacked Keira’s shoulder and the redhead pretended it hurt her. “Okay, okay!” she laughed “What was that post about? I saw your face.”

Ava unlocked her phone to show Keira the post she was reading. “Wow, they’re attentive. I’ve lived with you for like half of your life and didn’t notice that you have the same facial bone structure as her.”

“Most people assume I’m her cousin. Some had the right idea, but quickly disputed it, saying that there’s no way she had me at 15 and managed to go pro a year later. Some people even found some pictures of her with little me.” She scrolled a few posts down, where the post had a picture of the 2009 University of North Carolina soccer team, with little Ava on Tobin’s shoulders. “No idea how they found it and connected the dots that it’s me."

“Some of those people should work for the FBI.” Keira laughed.

“Who should work for the FBI?” Asked Lucy, coming out from the kitchen into the living area, with two cups of tea. Ona walked behind her, focused on not spilling the tea, from her own two cups, that were filled to the brim.

“Some of the fans found some pictures from your UNC days and connected the dots, that the little kid in them is Ava. They’re trying to figure out your connection and some of them are scarily good at it.” Keira explained while the teenager showed them the post on her phone as proof.

With her other hand, Ava took the big cup of tea, that Lucy handed her. She took a sip, gave her phone over to Keira, and stood up to take out their favourite cup coasters from the drawer in the coffee table.

Each of them had their specific coaster.

Keira’s coaster, had a picture of Leah, that she took against her friend’s will. The England captain then gave her the coaster for Christmas, saying that it was so that she would think about her every time she drank tea at home.

Ona’s coaster had a Manchester United logo on it and she used it simply to annoy her girlfriends and Ava. When Ona moved to Barcelona, Lucy wrote “Is shit” below the club name. Still, at least she was sure no one in this household would ever use her coaster. She considered putting the United logo on other things she preferred to keep to herself and everyone kept stealing. Like her half a liter cup, that she drank tea from.

Lucy’s coaster was a part of a mother’s day gift she got from Ava. It had a picture of 18 year old Lucy, holding 3 year old Ava, thrown over her shoulder. A colourful Comic Sans writing said the classic “Best Mom Ever” in the middle. She had in made with her aunt Sophie’s help when she was 11, and Lucy never stopped using it since she got the gift.

Ava’s coaster had a quote from Avatar: The Last Airbender. It said “Sick of tea? That’s like being sick of breathing!” She had a matching tea cup, that had Uncle Iroh’s face on the other side. The teenager watched the show, from start to end, at least three times, so when she saw the set in a store, she couldn’t resist buying it.

Like always, it took them 15 minutes to decide on the film they would be watching. They settled on rewatching Ocean’s 8, since all of them loved it. The hot cast wasn’t discouraging either.

They situated themselves on the L shaped couch. Lucy and Ona sat next to each other, on the wider but shorter part of the lounge. Ava, laid across the longer part. Her head in Lucy’s lap, her legs on Keira’s knees.

It may have been a great movie, but Ava has seen it multiple times already, so despite Cate Blanchett in suits being on the screen, with her mom’s fingers running through her hair and Keira lazily drawing patterns of her bare legs, she was asleep halfway through it.

When she woke up, she was surprised to find herself in her own bed. It was like nothing changed since she was just 5 years old and Lucy would carry her to bed. She may have not known about the kisses that Lucy left on her forehead, as she tucked her 17 year old daughter, into her bed, but she felt a warm feeling in her chest and knew how much her mom cared about her.

...

Every new signing had to do a media video, to show herself to the fans. So a week after signing her contract, Ava had to come to the training facility an hour before practice started. The media team led her to a seat in front of some cameras, with the training field behind her back.

“So, we asked fans on social media, to leave questions for you.” One of the media people (Ava didn’t remember their name and was too embarrassed to admit it) started. “We chose some that we thought were most appropriate. That alright with you?” They checked, in case the teen wasn’t comfortable with answering questions on camera.

“I’m good.” She was given about ten cards with questions printed on them and smiled. “Vamos!” She laughed and the camera stared rolling.

“Hi! I’m Ava Bronze and this is fan questions!” She claimed in fluent Spanish, looking into the camera.

“First question is from Mila.” She read from the first card. “Hola Mila!” She looked back up at the camera and waved. Then, she looked back down and continued reading. “’What is your favourite food?’ I love that question, cause I love food. I love things like ice cream and oat cookies, but for food I’m actually allowed to eat more of than sweets, my favourite is probably one of the only meals I can actually cook by myself, which are shrimps, with lemon, chili and garlic. We usually eat it on special occasions with my mom. She cooked it for me when she found out I was offered a pro contract.”

“Next one is from Reyna. ‘Who’s your favourite football player and who did you idolise growing up?’ Well, since I’m a striker, my favourite player is Ewa Pajor. She’s incredible and I think she’s the most underrated player. I got to meet her at the previous champions league final and she was super nice, even though she was sad cause they lost. My dream is to one day learn the bicycle kick from her. As for the players I idolised growing up. Well, I’m one of the few people my age who mostly watched women’s football and not the men’s. Another striker, Ellen White was always someone I looked up to. I love Tobin Heath, she’s brilliant on the ball and her style of play is very similar to Barca’s tight spaces technique. I was never interested in defending, but I always admired Lucy Bronze.”

“Jake asks, ‘What are your hobbies outside of football?’. Well Jake, I have so many we could make a separate video about them.” She laughed, but the media team noted it for another time. “First of all, one of my biggest, and most known among friends and family is photography. I love capturing the worlds beauty, without changing anything, just showing it as it is. I love traveling, which is kind of connected with every other hobby. I love hiking, rock climbing, mountain biking and sailing. Also, I listen to music all the time and love going to concerts. All of those hobbies include travel, so does football, so that’s a good thing.” She was about to go to the next question, but looked up to add one thing. “Also, I saw the media team taking notes when I said we could make a video about my hobbies, so I’m sure you’ll be seeing more about them in the future.”

“The next question is from Anya. ‘What do you like about Barca and what’s your favourite club team?’ Well, I have two favourite club teams and one of them is Barca. My mom will kill me for saying that publicly, but my other favourite team is Arsenal. She’s not a fan of red English clubs, especially Manchester United and Arsenal. But I love both Barca and Arsenal for similar reasons. Both clubs have this culture of family in football. Like, both of the teams have players who would never leave their team. Their academies are strong and many players grow up to be culers or gunners. There’s this loyalty that other clubs often don’t have. Like, not only for players but also fans. With other clubs, people are often fans of the footballers that play for them and not as much of the club, but with those two, it’s about more than the football. At least that's my view, even though most clubs have their die hard fan community. It’s a whole culture of those clubs that people love and I think it’s admirable.” She took a deep breath and looked down at the badge on her shirt. “I’ve moved a lot in my childhood, so I never had the opportunity to grow up within one club, but there are people like Alexia and Leah Williamson, who bleed their club’s colours.”

Ava answered all of the questions given to her and as she was at the last one, she noticed a few of her teammates making funny faces at her, telling her that training was about to begin. She laughed at them and looked into the camera.

“I can see some of my teammates telling me to wrap this up. Thank you for the questions, they were all great and I can’t wait to see you all in the crowd soon!” The camera was cut and the media team thanked her and let her go with the other girls.

...

Unlike other girls coming up from the B team, Ava came into the first team in the middle of the season and wasn’t there to replace an injured player. The coaches decided to give her two weeks of getting used to playing with the first team in training before they named her on the game day players list. It's not like she had not ever played in the first team before, but it was her first time as officially the senior player.

Her first match was an away game against Sevilla. She started out on the bench, with her mom sitting next to her.

“Stop kicking the grass. You’ll leave a hole.” Lucy put a hand on her knee to stop it from bouncing nervously.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Ava said, but her mom knew it was just the stress talking and her daughter wasn’t actually feeling sick. “What if I trip over my own legs and embarass myself? It has happened before.”

“You’ll be fine. You’ve been doing great in training. Jona wouldn’t have put you on the team list if he didn’t think you were ready.” She smiled and waited for Ava to look at her. “We’ve talked about it. You’ll probably come on in the 75th or 80th minute for Pina. You’ll do what you do best and rock it out there. You’re my daughter, you’ll do great.” Ava laughed at her mother’s ego, but visibly relaxed.

Just like always, the team was doing great. Pina scored in the 18th minute and they went into halftime with a 1-0 lead over Sevilla.

Around the 70th minute, when Caro and Salma were coming in for Vicky and Esmee, Jona told Ava, Lucy, Patri and Bruna to start warming up. While they were running on the sidelines, three minutes after coming in, Caro scored a goal and they ran to celebrate with the rest of the bench. Not even two minutes later, Mario added her name to the scoreline.

The time for them to come on couldn’t come faster and at the same couldn’t come fast enough. As she lined up, Ava was starting to panic. She was lined up in front of Lucy and when the ref showed her number in green, she felt her mom kick her in the ass. “You’ll do great. Just go out there and have fun.”

With that, she hugged Claudia, who ran up to her to leave the field. As she entered the game, the whole stress disappeared. Everything went quiet. She had 10 minutes of game time left and she used it wholly.

It was the 89th minute, when Ava found herself at the good end of a beautiful pass from Patri. Without hesitation she took the ball down to her feet, weaved around the last defender and with all her might, kicked the ball into the top right corner. The goalkeeper tried to save it, flying as high as she could, but she just couldn’t get her fingers on the ball in time.

Before she could even register what happened, she was being lifted in the air by Patri and surrounded by all of her teammates. “That’s my kid!” Lucy’s voice came though the ringing in her ears. When she was put down on the ground, she felt Ona put an arm around her and tap her head. “That’s our wonder kid!” She kissed her on the cheek and ran off, back into her position.

Not much happened after her goal. It was the final minutes, so they just passed the ball between each other, waiting for the final whistle. When it final came, a big smile took over Ava’s face. It was like she was high. Scoring a goal in her first game for the first team, coming out on the field with her mom right behind her. Her mom’s girlfriends out there with them. She was surrounded by family and friends. She couldn’t believe how great it felt to be there.

...

It was an evening game, so they were staying at a hotel in Sevilla. They didn’t even get back to the hotel when Ava got an Instagram notification, that Lucy tagged her in a post. She decided not to look at it, until she was back in her room with Vicky. Her teammates had other plans. “Aww, how cute.” “Look at that little face.” “Ava, you were so cute as a kid, what happened?” Could be heard through the coach and she had to change plans and look at the post.

lucybronze How proud I am to be your mom. It feels like just yesterday I was becoming a teen mom, I look back a second later and you’re already scoring goals for Barcelona’s first team. Where did this time go? So proud of you my baby 🥳

The first picture showed a 2 year old Ava kicking a football into a tiny goal set up in Lucy’s parent’s garden. The next one came from an hour before, taken in the perfect moment, when the ball left her foot and was flying towards the goal. There were a few more pictures of Ava playing football through the years, but the first two were most the important.

Five minutes after Lucy uploaded the post, both Bronze women had to put their phones on do not disturb mode, cause they were constantly vibrating with notifications.

While laying in bed, ready to go to sleep that night, she looked back at her day. She was playing football and scoring goals for the team of her dreams at just 17 years old. She had her mom by her side. The team was wonderful. She grew up surrounded by football players and now, she was one of them. This was her dreams coming true.

[rafesfavgirl]

rafe cameron headcanons

pairing: bf!rafe x fem!reader

context: rafe cameron as your boyfriend.

words: 466

warnings: definitely +18. mdni. daddy issues, cocaine use, attachment issues, lowkey toxic relationship, SMUT

rafe would definitely hate everyone but you.

rafe would be grumpy, you'd be sunshine.

rafe would 100% spoil you—shopping sprees, "just because" flowers. the flower vase in your room would NEVER be empty.

topper and kelce would tease him about how he's "pussy-whipped" over you, and he'd tell them to shut up.

barry calling you "mrs. country club".

whenever rafe would get into it with ward, he'd ALWAYS come knocking on your bedroom window that night.

wheezie and sarah love you. they're like your little sisters.

sarah tells you that when you're around, rafe's a more tolerable person and acts more like the big brother she knew before their mom died.

speaking of their mom, rafe opens up to you about her and talks about her quite a lot. 

rafe was definitely a "momma's boy" and that's why he was affected the most when she died.

many of rafe's issues stem from seeing his mom die.

rafe was able to stay clean for a whole month while dating you.

his favorite nicknames for you are princess, pretty girl, doll, and baby.

when he's mad at you he calls you kid. 

he can never stay mad at you for too long though.

he's always scared to tell you when he relapses because he doesn't want you to get mad at him.

when he's coked out, he says things he doesn't mean and then comes to your door to apologize the next day.

you hate how he always turns to coke instead of talking to you first. he tries to work on this, but sometimes he can't control it.

he's definitely the jealous type. can't even stand it when another guy looks at you, let alone talks to you.

if he ever saw you flirting with someone, even if it's just a joke, he'd blow up and punish you for it later.

definitely punishes you by slapping your ass and not letting you cum.

can't keep his hands off of you in ANY situation.

when you're next to him, he's always touching you—hand on your ass, arm around your shoulder, your hand in his, etc.

he's not afraid to show you off—you're his favorite girl.

absolutely AMAZING in bed. like unreal.

a dom, obviously.

KINKY as hell—will tie you up, use ice cubes, lick stuff off you, use toys, choke you, slap you, pull your hair, spit in your mouth, the works.

has a daddy kink. (are we really surprised though?)

talks you through it.

loves fucking in front of a mirror because he loves watching himself fuck you.

definitely pushes your head down when you give him head. he always returns it though and that boy KNOWS how to work his tongue.

favorite sex position is missionary and cowgirl. he absolutely LOVES seeing how good he makes you feel.

reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated <33

click here to be added to my tag list!!

[resident-idiot-simp]

Continuation of Logan as a teacher at the mansion and the conspiracies going on about what his relationship with Deadpool is

(x)

People have put together quickly he is only really there to visit Logan and BOY DO THEY HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THAT! However the fact that Logan the gruff standoffish asshole seems to like the mouthiest person in existence is unfathomable.

THEY SAW HIM SMILE AT DEADPOOL AND IT WAS THE HOT GOSSIP FOR WEEKS.

Sure Deadpool seems to be friends with a few of the other mutants But he always seems to go back to Logan and no one knows what to think of this truly. They expect Logan to just stab him one day in the middle of class but he never does.

They constantly threaten to stab each other. And the students assume it's jokes but... Everyone knows they're both functionally immortal so they're not actually too sure.

There are so many rumors about what's going on between the two of them.

Logan doesn't do anything about it in fact he finds then endlessly amusing. They can think what they want. While Deadpool purposely stokes the flames.

*Logan lounging on Deadpool under a tree*

The students: OMG..... What the hell how does Mr. Howlett deal with him

Another student: they are definitely together

Some other student: NO WAY ARE YOU INSANE

They catch just enough to not have confirmation but to have a good idea. And it's definitely on purpose. Maybe one of the students are out in the city one day and catch them together on a date or something along those lines. But they don't get any proof and so no one believes them.

"NO YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME!

'You're making it up pics or it didn't happen'

Logan overheard and is so amused

Wade is giggling like a school girl every time Logan tells him the current running theory about what's going on between them.

They're cover ends up getting blown by Ellie who just walks in and asks where Logan's boyfriend is. Everyone thinks Logan will correct her but he rolls his eyes and gives an answer and that's it. But it's all that it takes.

The new spreads like wildfire It takes less than an hour for everyone to know.

Deadpool is preening with the attention Logan just doesn't care.

Wade is so smug the cat that got the canary and the cream if you will. Who wouldn't be jealous of him?

People ask Logan all kinds of questions now but he ignores them. Really nothing changes except for now they know

[ghostgirl101]

Hi! I saw you did a obsessed oliver quick, would you consider doing the same for felix catton?

Dating Felix Catton Would Be Like This...

A/N: I would absolutely consider it, and here you are 😎 also if anyone has any oneshot ideas for Oliver or any of the other Saltburn guys then drop them in my inbox, I wouldn't mind writing a proper imagine scenario for them too 📩 next up is more Oliver Quick stuff anyways, so go crazy. Also, why did I find this kind of hard to write? Maybe I'm just used to Oliver's craziness and not this pretty little aristocrat's 🙃

🍾• Contrary to Oliver, Felix's type of obsession would be less murderous and delusional, more realistic, kind of vain... he's a Catton, a rich boy everyone knows and loves, who wants to be him or be with him. He's used to getting his way, learning new things about people until they get boring or get on his nerves, and then life goes on.

🍾• Not this time.

🍾• You'd meet at Oxford, either by coincidence, or by getting in with his clique of friends somehow. Chances are you helped him out on a test or covered for him in a class, and so he calls you over in recognition next time he sees you, to hang out with him and Farleigh and the rest.

🍾• There's something about you that gets the pretty aristocrat interested. Maybe it's just your charisma, your beauty, some definition that makes up you. You're different from his other friends, don't follow the crowd, have a different mind, a worldview he doesn't get. And he likes it.

🍾• So prepared to be hounded with questions over a drink at the pub after classes, all curious but friendly eyes following yours as you summarise yourself, your background, your ambitions. And what are his? Well, he lives in a beautiful estate with his high-class family, goes to Oxford because he can... I never really saw that he made any plans for himself in the film, so my guess is that he's not all that bothered about it. He's got money, he's got connections, he'll do what he wants, like always... so long as it meets the Catton expectations.

🍾• Assuming you don't have the same outrageous luxuries as Felix does, he wouldn't see the need to impress you or get your attention at first, because his status is a given around school and everyone's after him. But if you're not the same as the other girls who crowd around him when they're given a good enough chance, he'll find himself keeping on calling you over, wanting you around for your input on things they do.

🍾• Probably shows off his wealth - unknowingly or not - by buying you something for an unnecessarily high price, like a designer fountain pen when yours runs out in English, and he'll shrug and smirk softly, because it's nothing, don't worry about it.

🍾• Farleigh will undoubtedly be interested in you, but I see him warming up to you instead of being mocking and sceptical like he was with Oliver. Probably because you give off a lot better vibes than Ollie, and treat his friends like normal people, not tiptoeing and aweing of them because they're all rich and popular, but getting on as well as you can. There's something special about you that Felix saw to try pulling you into his circle, so you don't have to do anything but be yourself.

🍾• And when the summer break does come by, you're invited to Saltburn with his closest; a dazzling, rare invitation from the young Catton himself, probably away from others in a nice spot around campus. He'll give you his charming smile and warm eyes as he tells you to come along with them, that his mum will like you because you're beautiful, and that he really wants you there.

🍾• Expecting you to go all squealy and eager with a dozen yeses - if you can manage it, hold that all down to give him a nod and a shrug with a light smile as you agree calmly and casually instead, because that's a whole new response he'd never expect from any lucky person he shows an interest in. How come you're not falling all over him like the whole of Oxford does just by him being there?

🍾• You'll definitely be showered with attention at Saltburn. Elspeth will marvel over your complexion or your eyes or your hair or your outfit (or all of the above). Venetia will probably be grateful to have someone around who has a proper personality that she can talk to and will make friends with you fairly easily.

🍾• You'll catch onto Felix's jealousy over the attention you get pretty quickly, because he doesn't even try to be subtle about it. He'll just shamelessly approach you and complain in his own way that you're his guest, and he brought you here so you two could hang out. His sister's annoying, Farleigh's a troublemaker, so you should probably just stick around him, right? Makes sense, doesn't it?

🍾• Sure it does, Felix.

🍾• He's a nice guy really, kindhearted and sweet enough, but at the end of the day, the world is his to play with, and so are its people. He just needs to understand that you're not a toy... you're an individual, and so if it's going to be anything like his other "relationships" where he gets bored and leaves them to it without a second thought, you're not interested.

🍾• Which is all shock and horror for Felix Catton, because is this really what a proper relationship means? Proper thought and feeling 24/7, staying with that one person instead of having flings with whoever whenever he feels like it?

🍾• So just give him a hot minute to sulk about it over there while you have a good time with his other friends and Venetia, because the more he sees you hanging around with others and being true to yourself, adjusting to Saltburn's black-tie standards but not letting it shape or belittle you, Felix has to actually realise that he hasn't got a whole lot of depth or meaning to his life if it doesn't involve you somehow, in the closeness that he wants and needs it.

🍾• Okay. Convinced. He'll give it a shot.

🍾• I think that Felix would expect it to be difficult for him, because he's used to his carefree, no-strings-attached game of life instead of anything serious. But it'd come easier than he'd think. Other people just don't interest him as much as you, simply because they're not you. They don't have the same little... thing. Girls trip over his feet and cling to him, everyone wants to be his mate, to try to fit into his rich lifestyle, but you do it all effortlessly, and it's puzzling.

🍾• And so hot

🍾• Felix would be casual and open with PDA, since everyone will come to grips with the two of you being an item after you've been dating for over the span of a few solid days. An arm slung around your shoulder, messing with your hair with a fond, teasing look, linked fingers under the table. Nine out of ten times, he'll beat you to it and reach out to you first, because whatever he says, there's a needy boy in him somewhere 😏

🍾• This guy was a complete playboy before you, so needless to say, when you're getting real close, Felix has a pretty good grasp of what he's doing, and he'll do it right. Petnames too, of course, Surprisingly - but unsurprisingly - things like darling and beautiful, but he'd probably try to make a nickname out of your name and shorten it to give you one, finding it funny if you give him a mildly annoyed and amused look because it sounds weird.

🍾• He'll be all bright eyes and grinning proudly as he takes you to his parties, to have dinner with his parents, who get on with you wonderfully, because you're polite but not a suck-up like everyone else, and can hold a good conversation with them while looking over their shallow spins on things.

🍾• Honestly though, from what I saw of Elspeth, she made me laugh out loud a good couple of times from watching, so being friends with his mum wouldn't be a bad thing at all. And Felix would like to see you getting along with his family, because it just proves that you're a perfect fit, like he knew you were.

🍾• You'd make a friend for life in Venetia if you tried to comfort and genuinely help her with her insecurities and problems, not play her like the rest... I felt so bad for her tbh

🍾• You'll never want any material thing ever again, because his money can buy pretty much anything you want. I'm pretty sure his family would give you some kind of allowance when you're serious with Felix anyway, since they can see it in him that he's serious about you too, and the whole relationship is a great step he's made in his life. Any financial support you need, you've got it. Don't even mention liking the look of something in a shop window, because chances are you won't get the item, you'll part-own the store 😭

🍾• So, basically, you don't just get a gorgeous young aristocrat who finds every little unique, original thing about you fascinating and attractive, you get the whole of Saltburn as your second home. Just try to make friends with Duncan, and you'll probably get all the dirt on them too lmao- he'd get on better with you than he did with Oliver anyway, since he apparently was the first and only one in the household to realise that there was something off about Oliver.

🍾• Ohhh, and if we're getting to the twisted-up subject of Oliver Quick...

🍾• Let's just say that it could go two ways. Either he'll be obsessed with the both of you, and treat you the same way he treats Felix, looking up to him with intense, wide ocean green eyes, shadows after him in the hallways after dark. Or, once he's done destroying Felix... his obsessive, delusion-spiked gaze will flick straight over to you.

🍾• Either way, steer clear, that's all I can tell you.

[coff33andb00ks]

Carlos + 7,29 if you’re still taking reqs 🫣✨

"Well, this went horribly wrong..."/"Where did you get the flowers from?"

driver + number = drabble <3

warnings: charles gives stupid advice

ok I might maybe kinda sorta like writing for Carlos but 🤫 also definitely maybe have ideas to turn this into a longfic

In your first week with Ferrari, he was the second person you met. He was walking out as you were walking in, but he stopped to greet you and introduce himself.

In your second week with Ferrari, he was the third person you saw after getting to the motorhome. By then he knew your name and though he didn't seem excited to see you, he wasn't rude.

In your third week with Ferrari, your crush developed.

It was over the smallest, stupidest thing, which only made it worse. If anyone had told you that you'd be giggling and blushing because a man called you sunshine, you would have said they were insane and launched into all the reasons you didn't need a man to lift your spirits.

But there you were, cheeks warm and giggling behind your hand as Carlos smiled at you.

You've learned that he loves to make people laugh. Yes he's serious when he needs to be but he seems to thrive when there's laughter, when the people around him are happy.

After that he's casually called you mi sol, to the point that Charles has started to notice. Which only makes it a million times worse. Because Charles, when he's not yapping about his dog and his girlfriend, likes to interfere.

"You and Carlos get along," he says as you walk together to the garage. You've been with Ferrari for almost four months now, and Charles has become, kind of, a friend.

"Carlos gets along with everyone?" You're trying your best to act calm but when Charles laughs softly you know he can see your cheeks turning pink.

"Ah, I don't remember him calling me his sunshine," he sighs wistfully.

"You're too gloomy for that nickname," you say without thinking. Clapping a hand over your mouth, you wonder when you began to feel comfortable enough around Charles to say such a thing.

But he isn't insulted, he only laughs again. "If you want him to finally ask you out, make him jealous."

That stops you in your tracks. "Excuse me?"

Charles stops a few steps ahead and turns around. "Make him jealous."

"What makes you think I want him to ask me–"

He glances behind you, smiling. "Ah, Carlos!"

You squeak, whipping your head around to look behind yourself. When you do, Charles laughs again, and you turn back to see him smirking. "You're horrible."

"You like him," he teases.

Rolling your eyes, you continue walking. "What are you, twelve?!"

He hounds you all the way to the garage, and finally, if only to shut him up, you agree to try his idea of making Carlos jealous.

"This is so not gonna work," you mutter under your breath as you enter the hotel that evening, a bouquet of flowers clutched in your hand.

Charles's idea is "perfect" - perfectly stupid.

"Just tell him they're from an admirer."

As if Carlos will care. As if he's going to see you holding flowers and say–

"Ah, mi sol."

You blink and realize Carlos is stepping onto the elevator with you. Smiling, you shift the flowers in your grasp. "Hey Carlos."

He looks at you, then at the flowers, then takes out his phone.

You're so going to take the most unflattering pictures of Charles tomorrow.

"Where did you get the flowers from?" Carlos asks after ten seconds of silence.

"Oh! I, um." You swallow. "They're from, uh... I got them."

If there's a higher power, you pray that it'll take you from this earthly hell right now. Carlos is looking at you as if trying to decipher what you said, and the elevator is going up, and you're unfortunately not dreaming.

"I see that you got them." He puts his phone away, his brow furrowing a little. "Are you going on a date?"

"God no," you laugh weakly. And now you know you'll never be the femme fatale you wish you could be. You're doomed to spend your life as the awkward, dorky loser girl. Unable to meet his eyes, you sigh. "Well, this went horribly wrong..."

"What?" Carlos looks even more confused.

"I should never have listened to him. Of all the stupid ideas. It's like out of a bad movie isn't it? Get yourself flowers it'll make him jealous and then he'll make a move. I can't believe I actually did it, that I actually let myself think he was right–"

"Mi sol."

You groan. "I'm sorry."

"I'm confused," he says. "Who were you listening to?"

"Charles," you mumble.

And to add to your embarrassment, Carlos begins to laugh. He's still laughing when the elevator stops and the doors open.

"It's not that funny," you say.

"I'm sorry, mi sol," he says between giggles. He's giggling and it's as cute as it is mortifying. "Who are you trying to make jealous?"

"You," you blurt without thinking as you step off the elevator. You can't look at him, can't imagine what his expression is, but can hear his laughter die immediately as you walk quickly to your room. You're almost at the door when a large hand gently grasps your shoulder. You know it's him and want the floor to open up and swallow you as he turns you to face him.

"Me?" Carlos asks softly. When you nod, his eyes soften and you're staring into your morning espresso. "Why would you want to make me jealous, mi sol?"

"I don't, I..." You slowly breathe in, only for the air to leave in a shaky gasp as his hand lifts to sweep your hair from your cheek. "I want you to like me."

A smile that could melt Antarctica. "I have since the moment I first saw you."

[jiyansthesis]

hey, i love your writing, could you write keith x reader headcanons for when they reveal to the rest of the team that they're a couple? thank you, and it's totally okay if you don't want to do this :)

i'm stalling too much on my other keith fics ☠️BUT I'LL GET THIS ONE OUT TOO!! probably took me around 10 minutes tops. tbh i haven't watched vld since like 2018, so i'm def a bit rusty when it comes to events

i also suck at this type of concept so oops

very short/not proofread

of course, the two of you weren't hiding your relationship at first, it just hadn't been a priority to tell the rest of the team

keith wasn't one for pda, so it wasn't very obvious from the start.

shiro definitely knew though

occasionally you'd sneak him a kiss in dark corners, hidden away from the team

majority of your time with keith was spent in his room or in the training room, and no one bothered you during those times

behind closed doors, he was a lot more soft and loving

you will never convince me he doesn't like being the little spoon

outside, he treated you the same as the others, since that was simply his personality, and also meant that no one would catch on

lance didn't know the two of you were dating, and didn't even have a slight suspicion (he's always clueless)

this led to him still constantly flirting with you, always with that goofy grin you'd grown to love

you never really dragged it on, but sometimes you'd entertain him (he always confessed his love for allura to you, so you weren't worried about leading him on)

but keith definitely did not like it. he didn't blame lance, but he was still always looking over with a glare and shadowed eyes

"you want to go get food together? are you asking me on a date?" lance winked at you as he lazily draped his arm across your shoulders

that was his last straw

at this, keith walked over and took your hand, dragging you towards him so you woud be right against his chest

"she already has a date," he began to lead you straight out the room, and when you turned back to sheepishly apologize to lance, you saw almost everyone staring with their jaws dropped

shiro had his arms crossed with a knowing smile, compared to lance who looked like he was a statue, his arm still raised in the spot your shoulder was

pidge was dumbfounded, and hunk looked betrayed

"we always tell each other everything! why'd you hide this from us?" he whined dramatically. "especially during our sleepovers!"

hunk would be pouting and fuming about this for at least a day

allura and coran looked like they were gossiping, shooting glances your way with coran's hand held up between them

the door shut behind you, and you heard them talking about it

"you knew about this, didn't you shiro!" lance accused

he was 100% confronting you about this later

looking back toward keith, you asked,

"you really decided now to make everyone know we're dating?"

he shrugged. "at least lance can finally focus on getting his little girlfriend."

"you're cute when you're jealous, y'know that?"

he face turned red and he looked away, and you playfully swung your hand entwined with his back and forth. you were going to tease him about this forever

"shut up."

[loveandleases]

I actually forgot asking you this XD

So imagine a type of personality - like a shy, sweet, easily flustered MC, maybe in pastel or cozy comfort clothes / A badass, take-no-shit-from-no one MC with the combat boots, jacket and tight jeans. (Stay with me here)

Then the ROs discover (whether through online, insta post or just a friend msging) one of those black and white model pics - and it's soft!MC being hot, sexy and a 'status fatale' (gender neutral way of femme fatale? ;; closest description I can get at 4am) vibe OR badass!MC being classy, elegant and fabulous in a fancy, charming way? How would the ROs feel seeing that?

(and just so Cam doesn't get jealous of another photographer took this photo - let's say the photo was taken by a mutual friend of MC and Cam, who is also a photographer, is happily dating/engaged/married AND is totally doing this to tease both MC and Cam 🤣)

Feel free to decide if this is in rela or not :3 enioy~

Lol, where you playing Fields this late!? Status finale really has a ring to it~ (lets do crush stage!)

❤️Cam - He was just doom scrolling when he saw the photo, it took him less than a minute to recognize MC. Dressed up like that. They look hot and he is definitely pouting. Pouting and screenshotting the image for future...inspiration? Yeah, yeah inspiration. He needs to do a new shoot anyways. He will try and beat around the bush about it, why MC took the photo, why they didn't tell him. Then he will just say that as your bestie, you owe him a shoot. That is totally how this works. He needs to be allowed to capture you in the same way...this isn't for selfish reasons. He will get flustered, looking at the photo again. MC captured in a different way, its thrilling to him. When MC gives him a questioning glance Cam will stutter pretend he has something to do. That friend who took the photos is going to get a very rude wake up call, because Cam wants all of them. Very gimme gimme gimme.

💙 G - They get strangled on their tea, smacking themselves on the chest to try and catch their breath. G was just looking at the recent clothing line coming up, knowing they needed to get something nice to wear to see their parents. What they didn't expect was to see MC, clothes hugging their body, the look in their eyes made G's skin heat. Had they seen it before? Those eyes looked so alluring and yet, G can't remember if this is the first time they've seen it or not. G will be annoyed that they enjoy how MC looks, that it does more than make them think about MC. A thought they will try to knock out of their head as soon as it pops in. They will bury the emotions as deep as possible, after they look at the photo a few more times. No matter how much they hate to admit it, they always thought MC was attractive. With a bitter taste in their mouth there is one thought in G's mind, I wasn't the only one who thought so.

💚 Kara - Too cute! She's screen shotting, sending MC a text. "Why don't you ever take cute photos with me?" She was serious in her question, though she ensured to send a few emojis to come off as playful. Granted Kara's online presence is high, these photos she would keep to herself. Just like she did with the memories of when she would spend time with MC when they worked together. There's nothing wrong with thinking your sibling's ex-fiancé is attractive, sweet, funny. Especially when they're your friend. There's no underlying meaning as to why Kara makes the photo her background...none at all.

💛 M - They had seen the photo when scrolling, just something to break up the time between when they waited for their editor to reply back. M had tossed their phone behind them, and hopefully somewhere that they could find later. Their face bloomed with a blush, one they covered under their palms, face pressed so hard against the desk that it would likely leave a mark. They might have squealed appreciatively at the photo...maybe...possibly. To them it almost seemed impossible to be MC, they never looked like that before. Maybe that's why their so flustered, because they looked different. Should they ask MC about it? Damn it....why are you so....in a maid costume though? Alright...time to find their phone.

💜 Isaac - They try to ignore that feeling in their chest, the one that is telling them they like what they see, they want to see more, want to be around MC more. In fact they go so far as to close out the page and try and push the image from their thoughts. Which is easier said than done. MC looks good, great even. So good that it's leaving Isaac feeling like they should have saved that damn photo. That worries them, this feeling of wanting to hold on to them, even just a fraction. They'll make a flirty remark later on when they see MC, because that's what they do, a nice little cover. Flirt and feign ignorance. Ignorance of what they feel for MC, of the potential there.

🖤 Ardent - Damn, color him impressed. In fact color him more than impressed. Who knew the person he sees fighting to keep their eyes open, dressed in pjs, hair all messed up when its time for rent could look like this. Well....to be honest Ardent thought MC looked good like that too, but he will deny it. He thinks MC looks hot, too hot. Unfair really considering he doesn't get to see MC all dressed up. Ardent would be a bit annoyed, because why does the people who get to photograph MC get to witness how good they look and not him. That picture is coming with him, across the hall where he will annoyingly knock on the door until MC answers, and he will make a quip about if you're making such good money modeling he will want more rent. (just to get under mc's skin) "Ya know what, I need a decoy date. Mom's coming in down. Call it a favor? Or..I'll even let you skip out on next months rent."

[itsjustaninchident]

Starlight☆

Lando Norris x Model!Wife!Reader

smau

summary: Getting married means having children.... Or not? 5 months into marriage and a lot of hate and pressure has been thrown on the couple. A part 2 of To the Moon and To Saturn.

warning/s: sexual innuendos, misogynistic comments, hate comments (tell me if I missed something)

author's note: This is the most tedious and longest work I've probably done here 😭 I definitely enjoyed doing this, I enjoy reading comments from you guys and also requests are always open, I'm just not fast in making it but I'll definitely do your requests🤍

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 1,321,987 others

yourusername oh sorry can't find it on the mirror where I gaf

view 63,483 comments...

user1 THE IT GIRL OF THIS GENERATION

user2 THE FUTURE KIDS WOULD SAY THEY WERE BORN IN THE WRONG GENERATION UPON SEEING THIS GIRL IN THE FUTURE

user3 scrolling through the pictures slay after slay and then lando norris

user4 i still can't believe they're married

user5 Can't wrap my head around how a man who drives for a living is dating the hottest girl alive

landonorris can't believe it either

user6 at least he's self aware

user7 you're both hot tbf

user8 why are hot people only for hot people

user9 this is just too cute

user10 their kids are gonna be good looking istg

user11 I mean the parents are both good looking so

user12 can't wait omg they're gonna look so cute😭

yourusername respectfully, no.

user13 oh.

user14 is this how I confirm they both don't want children😭

user15 yn shutting off comments suggesting kids for both of them😭 she's just like me fr

user16 yn is so real for that😭 she def saw that tiktok girl with the list

user17 THE WORLD IS SIMPLY NOT READY FOR THIS GIRL😭

user18 haters are found in the ditch i fear

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,239,876 others

landonorris P2 in Singapore!❤️

view 32,987 comments...

user1 congrats lando!!!

user2 definitely deserve!

user3 why is yn not present in the sg gp?

landonorris she's busy with work :)

user4 shouldn't yn be present to her husband's races, she like missed 4 races already?

user5 girl she can't possibly be with him all the damn time😭 she's got work too

user6 leave yn alone, she literally go all out whenever she can support lando in his races

landonorris she supports me even though she's across the world, it's not her responsibility to go to every race and she has her own work to tend to.

user7 GAGGED!

user8 when he never lets anyone talk shit about you>>>>

user9 they definitely deserve each other

user10 can people stop demanding for yn and just congratulate lando😭 leave the girl alone she's not doing anything to y'all

yourusername CONGRATS BABY! any requests? ;)

user11 HE'S DEF GETTING IT😭

landonorris i think i've made it clear on chat🤔

yourusername assertive, i like it🫡

user12 STOP BEING HORNY ON MAIN?

user13 they're literally unstoppable 😭

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 976,890 others

yourusername let me fix my shoes first

view 21,765 comments...

lilymhe can u please divorce the L word and elope with me?

yourusername contacting the lawyers📞

landonorris HEY!!

alexalbon maybe we're the ones meant for each other, mate

user1 L WORD?!😭

user2 this is actually alex's karma for calling his girlfriend the squid game girl😭

user3 personally would be my last straw

user4 why is yn always outside, can't even become a decent wife and do her chores

user5 women should just stay in the house and cook.

yourusername you should try a challenge

user5 and what is that?

yourusername it's called shutting tf up

user6 GET HIMMMM

user7 you idiots, that's literally her job she needs to constantly attend events and model products she's not outside for NOTHING, unlike you.

user8 maybe that's why they don't have kids together lol he definitely would divorce her later on

yourusername checked your profile, looks like you're not even close to getting your first girlfriend

user9 HELP😭 OMG I LIVE FOR UNFILTERED YN😭

user10 these disgusting comments about yn... she's so strong to be able to handle all of these hate just because she's married to a well-known athlete.

user11 the absolute sickening moments ever for women, we can't have anything. The world does not want us to be happy.

user12 true, makes me think how she even deserves all the hate comments when she's been the nicest, most supportive, and loving partner to lando

user13 the answer is easy, she's a woman who married a man. All these men who never grew out of their highschool phase suddenly think they've got the right to talk shit about her just because she married their favorite athlete🙄

user14 YN CAN YOU PLEASE STEP ON ME

user15 calm down girl, my boyfriend's on this app🥵

yourusername oh honey, if your boyfriend admires other girls he's not your boyfriend anymore

user15 IM JUST KIDDING I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I WANT

user16 she's an it girl and a girl's girl🫡

user17 she really said don't let any man disrespect u

via interview...

via twitter...

via article...

via twitter...

yourusername

liked by landonorris, carmmenmundt, and 2,309,674 others

yourusername baby #1 full of food

view 23,029 comments...

landonorris can't believe this is how I find out I'm gonna be a dad

yourusername thanks for feeding me ig now u're gonna have to take full responsibility

landonorris i fully accept becoming a father of food

user0 idk what's up with these two😭

user-1 they're literally the perfect match both of them goofy af

yourfriend is this for real?!

yourusername no bae ;)

yourfriend AMEN

user1 not yn trolling the whole damn nation only for it to be a food baby😭

user2 this is what the media gets for pressuring them into becoming parents when clearly they want a different path lol

user3 true, they've made it clear numerous times already that they want to enjoy their married life more and not involve kids in the process

user4 they're so real for that

user5 I remember in an interview of yn with the same question and she said something like "I just feel like in this day and age, having children isn't a priority for most people of this generation and I'm glad that most of us are realizing how big of a deal it is to have children and deciding to not bring them in this world when we are very self aware of our capabilities. It's time we should stop pressuring couples, more so women in giving birth because it's not the only thing we're here for."

user6 SHE'S SO SLAY?!

user7 MY ELOQUENT QUEEN

user8 slay after slay

user9 everyday i have to be reminded that im actually not married to yn and we dont have 4 kids tgt

user10 SHE'S LEGIT SO ICONIC FOR THIS😭

user11 a slap on the face for those nosy people up in their business

hope y'all actually enjoyed this as much as I did writing it😭 comments are highly appreciated 🫶 lovelots♡

[eliotwaughdeservesbetter]

I really want to see this idea turn into a big beautiful work but writing it myself scares me. So i just give it to the world and will be hoping someone can write it.

It's the 31st of December and an hour before the new year. Tommy is inside of the burning building watching into the eyes of the man he left two months ago while the floor under them is collapsing. And minutes later he's trapped under the tons of concrete with the love of his life without any chance of being saved.

They both are conscious and they both understand they're gonna die in here. But they have a little amount of time to talk. Evan asks him why he left and Tommy tells him about his fears, insecurities. Evan tells him he is an idiot and they should have talked about it earlier. Before closing his eyes for the last time Evan tells him he loves him. Tommy's watch shows 00:00 when he kisses Evan's temple and closes his eyes too whispering "love you too".

He wakes up to the sound of his phone. It takes him a minute to understand why he's lying on something soft when seconds ago he was dying with Evan in his arms. He never ever had a dream that realistic he thinks. He takes his phone and answers the call without looking who it is.

"Oh, thank god, Tommy, you finally answered. I need a favour from you please"

"Howie? What? Something happened?"

"Yeah, look. We need a helicopter and a pilot to fly it. And you're the best pilot i know"

"Helicopter? Again?"

"Now i need something more than the dumping you did last time. Remember , Bobby Nash? He and his wife went for a cruise and their ship stopped responding. And there is a storm so we are worried for them and want to find them in case they need help" This..this can't be right. Tommy already had this conversation with Howie ten months ago.

"What the hell?" He didn't mean to say it aloud but his confusion was too strong

"Em, I'm sorry, Tommy, i do understand you don't want to risk it, I'm sorry i asked, we'll try to think of something else"

"Wait, no, Howie, that's not... I'm not saying no. It's just strange you know. But I'll do it, of course. Only I'm at home now, i need maybe an hout to get to harbour"

"Great! Thanks, Tommy! See you there then"

"Yeah, see you"

Tommy disconnects the call and lyes back at the bed. "What the hell?" he says again in silence. He couldn't have dreamed about 10 months, right? He couldn't get this perfect relationship and then the most heartbreaking break up and all of this just in a dream? But if it was a dream then how he could dreamed this crazy thing about flying in the storm to save Bobby and now it's really happening? He looks at the screen of his phone 17:35 10 March 2024. Yeah, he definitely lost his mind.

He makes it to the harbour a bit later than he did last time but he remembers 118 is going to be here half an hour later. So he has time to sign a helicopter for a flight and make a pre-flight check.

"Hey, Tommy, man! It's so good to see you again!" Howie hugs him. And Tommy really doesn't know was it 2 months or 2 years he last saw him. But behind Howie there are Eddie and Evan. Just like in his dream. But something is different in Evan's expression. Last time he was exited and was looking around eyeing everything, now he's looking at Tommy and there is the same confusion in his eyes. Tommy can't help but hope it wasn't a dream and even if it was Evan had the same one too.

After the rescue they talk and yeah Evan remembers everything what's gonna happen to them too. They go together to Tommy's house and now talk about their relationship again and they kiss. This time they gonna make them work together, they've got a second chance and they won't lose it.

I really want more of it but i can't write it. I want to see reaction of the 118 to bucktommy dating and being so close together so fast. I want to see Buck saving Chimney before the wedding. This time Madney have the beautiful wedding they wanted. Buck finally is having this dance he waited. I want to see Buck and Tommy taking down Ortiz and doing everything against Bobby's leaving the firehouse and Gerrard's coming back. And just boys being in love.

[romihearts]

bf headcannons ! ┊ft. first years

synopsis. how they would be as your bf!

content. gn reader, intended lowercase, swearing

her notes. 2nd years next!

ACE TRAPPOLA * ˚ ✦

an asshole to everyone, but becomes even more of an asshole to you /hj

would be a tease, spontaneous flirts really surprise you since you'd never expect this from ace. not to mention, he likes seeing your flustered face, he thinks its adorable.

like showing you off to his friends, spouting things like "y'know they're just so amazing 'cause you'd really find yourself admiring them and—" as epel cuts him off,

his love language ? acts of service. even with small things like tying your shoelace, or removing dust from your uniform.

would drag you along to wreak havoc in heartslabyul with deuce, but if you three get caugt he'll plead to riddle that you're innocent

FIGHTS WITH GRIM LMFAO they'd definitely give glares to each other 'cause they wanted to be in your arms !!

DEUCE SPADE * ˚ ✦

your #1 supporter fr !!

he'd genuinely love anything you do <3 and help you wholeheartedly too !!

if you ever play a sport, he's already learning it so he can play with you. oh you like cooking? he's in cooking classes making a gourmet ass dish. you like arts? he compliments each and everyone of your piece.

he really admires you, you're also that one special person he can always confide in.

tries not to get you into ace's trouble, like ace he will plead and beg riddle that you were not an accomplice whatsoever in ace's doing.

if he ever get's a chance to ride a blastcycle, he'll always take you with him, going to very beautiful places just to see your smile.

his love language? words of affirmation for sure. he'll always be there to tell you the things he loves about you <3

JACK HOWL * ˚ ✦

he was quite distant with you when you first met him, sometimes avoiding you. and you'd get sad since you wanted to be friends with him too.

buuttt, what you didn't know was the reason he avoided you, he fell in love first sight and didn't know how to deal with it.

atleast now, both of you are dating !! yet there are some times where he looks at you a bit too long and stars slightly avoiding you once more. you were just so perfect and he didn't want to seem disrespectful from the staring so he excused himself immediately from you 😭

he deeply respects you, so if you ever have any problems with him tell him immediately so he can resolve and understand you : )

his love language? acts of service too! he'd try his best to help you with anything. wether it'd been academics or sports, he'll do his best to help you.

EPEL FELMIER * ˚ ✦

he DID NOT like you when you first met !!!! which is super contrasting to him now as you're dating.

he thought of you like another pompous student because you looked too amazing for him T-T

nonetheless, when he got to know you more, both of you clicked immediately!

he fell in love with your charms and courage, admiring it aswell.

seeing as you're so badass while still remaining so courteous, he didn't know if he wanted to be you or be with you fr

eventually he was now with you, and the both of you rest in the solace within each other. confiding in them.

oh if epel's having a problem with vil? you're there to talk with him about it. same with you, problems with academics? he'd say your totally right! /j but having him there felt comforting and reassuring already.

his love language? physical touch. behind closed doors he's like a cat because he clings so close to you. displays some pda too, like his hand around your waist or shoulder.

SEBEK ZIGVOLT * ˚ ✦

unlike epel and jack, he was absolutely encapsulated when he saw you. he seriously could not stop staring once he saw you, someone he admired more than malleus ?!

while he is prideful and loud, his confession to you was like the total opposite. either way you still accepted it <3

if you get quickly startled by loud things, sebek will try his best not to scream when you're around.

but, he is blunt and honest aswell with someone. if you ask for criticism on something, he will properly explain what he criticizes then help you afterwards.

his love language? acts of service, he'll service you to the best he can. he'd be willing to help you with schoolworks too.

[the-nami07]

hiii!! i love ur bf!percy hcs so much,, i was wondering if u could do one for leo ?? take ur time and its totally up 2 u😋 have a good day/night‼️🙂‍↕️

Ofc I can! Thank you for requesting!!

Dating Leo headcanons pt 1/?

I feel like y’all would be friends to lovers

You met him when you went to the forge to get a new sword

His eyes seemed to light up when he saw you

In a “This is my new bestie” kinda way

Denial faze

He realizes her loves you but he doesn't want to ruin the friendship

So he just denies the feelings

When he finally comes to his senses he confesses at Bunker 9

You came in to hang, but he spilled his guts

After a good convo, y’all are finally together!

[took long enough]

Anyways

He makes you metal flowers

Says he will stop loving you when the flowers wilt 

which they're metal, they never will

He’s an amazing cook

Like AMAZING

Makes your fav foods all the time

If you have traditional foods from your culture he learns how to make them for you.

I have a feeling he has an “I ❤️my gf/bf/partner” shirt

He probs have a few

Def has a bulletin board of pics

Most are of you, but some are of him + the 7

He has it right in front of his work table so he can always look at them

Loves hugs

I mean he LOVES them

Will definitely melt if you hug him from behind while he’s cooking

Poor baby is touch-starved pls give him hugs

He hugs you all the time

Just to feel you and know you’re here

He also loves kissing you

His fav place to put his hands is your face

Just holding your face while he kisses you

Pet names in Spanish <3

“Amor”, “querido/a”, “cariño”

Brags about you

As he should you’re amazing!

He could be in a convo about playing the harmonica and he’d be like

“Yeah, my bf/gf/partner could learn this in an hour, they’re that awesome. Did I tell you that they *insert great feat here*? Yeah, they’re the best.”

You’re his biggest priority

Anything you need he will drop what he’s doing and help

Even if it’s smth silly like finding a rock to paint like a pizza

[idfk it’s late lol]

100% plays with your fingers

Cuddling during the winter is amazing

I mean he’s basically a human heater

But summer

I can just picture this

Him on his knees begging to cuddle you

And you’re just like “No you’re a heater. Find a way to turn the heat off then sure.”

You cave though and y’all cuddle

Just with no blankets

He teaches you Morse code

Y’all have secret convos in Morse code

He’s always saying “I love you.” in Morse code

And the first time you tap it back he almost cries

He is just overwhelmed that someone loves him

I mean he lost his mom, his dad is a god and we all know how that goes

Also i refuse to ship Caleo, so she’s out of the picture

He just loves you so much

That’s all for now, lmk if you want a pt 2! Also thanks again for the request! - Nami <3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA For telling my partner I'd like to bring my ex into our relationship?

I'm copying this over from r/relationship_advice, because the responses are giving me the impression they don't really get what polyamory is & I'm hoping tumblr does. For reference: there's me (29M), my ex (28, Trans Man), and my partner (30M).

My ex and I were best friends in high school, went to the same college, & dated through the tail end of undergrad, for about a year and change. We ended things on very good terms, the only reason we broke up was a difference in life paths: I stayed in the city to get my Master's, he traveled constantly for his work (he's a sculptor who makes these huge custom multimedia pieces, they're genuinely some of the most beautiful things I've seen). We fell out of touch for the most part, but I'd see him popping up on social media occasionally, or he'd text me when he was in town and we'd hang out, along with some other school friends.

The last time I saw him before our present situation was about 3 1/2 years ago today. We went out for drinks, he came back to my place after, and we ended up hooking up. He stayed in town for about a week, and we hooked up a few more times, and then he left again. He sort of dropped off the face of the earth after that, but he'd always been pretty sporadic, especially when he had a big project, so I didn't think much about it.

Not long after that, I met my current partner. He's truly one of my favorite people in the whole world; he's incredibly thoughtful, and earnest, and passionate about his morals & principles (he's an environmental lawyer), and more than anything, he's someone I never feel like I have to pretend with. He asked for my number, we had our first date a few days later, and ended up staying awake the entire night just talking about anything and everything, so we went ahead and got 5am pancakes and called it our second date. We've been together for a little over 3 years now, we've been moved in together for about 2, and while we've had the occasional fight or rough patch I can definitely say I love this man, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him.

So, the big change.

About a year ago (~2 years since seeing my ex, my partner and I have lived together for about a year at this point), my partner and I are having a night in, and there's a knock at the door. It's my ex, looking absolutely ragged, holding a 15 month old baby. As in, a baby who was conceived 24 months before then. Yep, it's pretty much what you're guessing. I let them both in, we had a sit down in the kitchen, and he told me everything he'd been doing in the past 2 years in between me cussing him out for keeping it all from me in the first place. I really do want to keep this as short as possible, so to give you the super condensed version:

She's my daughter, he's completely sure about that, there's no one else he's been with the math is even close to correct for

The second he found out he was pregnant, he more or less panicked. He's got a whole Thing about feeling like he's irresponsible/not a "real" adult, and this really set him off, so telling me felt like "admitting to fucking both our lives up" at the time. His OB/GYN said some pretty awful shit to him about not being more careful as a trans man too, which just made it all even worse

Because of all that, he'd genuinely planned to just never tell me I have a daughter & raise her completely on his own, but a few things compounded to force his hand:

The birth was really rough on him, and his recovery was slow enough he was having trouble going back to work, to the point where money was getting tight

On top of that, our daughter has celiac disease, and between paying out of pocket for blood tests & spending more on baby food she's safe to eat, things got desperate enough he went and took out a really dodgy loan from a scummy payday company

He was at our door because all of this had finally spiraled to a point where he'd lost his apartment, they'd been sleeping in his car for about a week, and he couldn't think of anything else to do

I think I was probably feeling every human emotion in existence at the same time through all of this, but the thing I remember most from the whole conversation was the way my partner kept drifting right back to the baby, and the soft way he looked at her. We put my ex & daughter up in a hotel room for the night and told him we needed to talk, and we'd discuss our options in the morning, but I think even then I kind of knew what our answer was going to be.

Sure enough, for the last year and a half we've been co-parenting our little girl, all three of us. We didn't want to juggle who's got her, or force my ex to find a place to stay, so we've turned my partner's home office into our daughter's room, and redid most of the downstairs layout so my ex could move into an actual bedroom, rather than just sleep on our pullout couch in perpetuity. We finally succeeded in convincing him that rest and recovery was more important than trying to contribute to the house finances right away, and it's been magical watching all that stress and terror slowly fall off him. It's like he's a little more alive again every time I look.

Which is where my question comes in.

I'd like to restate, I love my partner 100%. None of this changes that whatsoever. If I ask, and he says no, that will be the end of the discussion for me completely. But I have eyes. My ex is, objectively, a very attractive man. I know we work well together, and I have to admit I'm very curious to see where that same chemistry could lead now that he's not on the other side of the country half the time. I've also been noticing these little moments between him and my partner. Nothing I'd consider crossing a line, but I've caught my partner checking my ex out several times, as well as vice versa, and they get along remarkably well. Sometimes I'll go to enter a room, and see them both sitting there laughing and chatting and playing with our baby, and I'll just hang back to watch because it makes me so happy.

Add to all that, we're pretty deeply ingrained in each other's lives now. My partner and I don't often go out on dates alone anymore, but the last few times we did it felt as if my ex was missing from the table. We watched a movie together last night, and my ex sat in the middle of us with his feet in my partner's lap and his head on my chest, and it felt just as natural as my arm on my partner's shoulder. It's not about just having sex with him, and it's not that I'd want to invite any old person into our relationship. I know we already all love each other, and I think there's potential for that to become romantic between the two of us and my ex.

It just feels as though we're all holding our breath, waiting for someone else to say it first. My ex certainly isn't going to bring it up when he's living rent free in "our" home (it's his home too, but he doesn't seem to see it like that yet). My partner grew up sheltered enough that I'm not sure he's ever heard of polyamory at all, so he's not going to bring it up. That just leaves me.

My problem is, if I'm wrong about what I think I'm seeing, or if I bring it up the wrong way, I can't take it back. I don't want my partner to feel insecure or betrayed, I don't want my ex to feel pressured or put on the spot, and I definitely don't want my daughter to lose any of us, which I know could happen if we aren't all on the same page. Or worse, if we do all date and it goes badly.

Should I just keep this whole thing secret? Is that even worse? Would I be the asshole for opening this can of worms on everyone else?

Help!

[scoonsaliciousupdates]

5.3 Lily

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,

Word Count: 500

Previously On...: Bucky got a call from Lily, wanting to know where he was. He lied to her, of course. That definitely won't come back to bite him in the ass.

A/N: Sorry this is so late going up! Had a last-minute Mother's Day dinner with the family, and then some quality time with @cazellen, and when you add on an hour+ drive each way, it ended up eating my entire evening. But! I wouldn't leave you hanging, so here is today's update, just... six hours late :(

Also, PLEASE NOTE: There is one more section of Chapter 5 to go up tomorrow, and then I will be taking a one-week break from posting so I can focus on writing. So, Chapter 6 will start on Sunday, May 19th. I probably will not be as active on here as I normally am, so if you send me a message and I don't respond right away, it's because I'm busy making more content for you!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Lily clutched her phone to her chest, shocked. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. He had lied to her. She couldn’t believe it. Her best friend had lied to her about what he was doing and who he was with. 

She hadn’t planned on coming to the Compound that night– she’d realized she’d forgotten some files in her office that she needed to look over before she went back to work on Monday, and had just stopped in to pick them up. She figured, since she was there, she might as well go see what Bucky and Sam were up to. She didn’t want to crash their boys’ night, per se, but if they happened to invite her to join them? Well, how could she refuse such an invitation?

That’s why it came as such a shock when she rounded the corner to the rec room and saw Sam and Steve, in front of the large television, watching football together, and Bucky nowhere in sight. She hung back for a few moments, giving him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he’d been in the bathroom, or in the kitchen grabbing snacks. But when fifteen minutes went by, then thirty, and Bucky still hadn’t shown himself, she began to worry.

She was about to barge into the room and demand answers from Sam and Steve, when she heard them talking during a commercial break.

“So, how do you think the date’s going?” Steve asked Sam.

“Knowing Tin Man, I’d usually say ‘terribly,’” Sam said with a laugh, “but this girl seems to actually like him, so who the hell knows? I guess it depends on what time he comes home tonight… or tomorrow morning, doesn’t it?” 

Lily brought a hand to her mouth to stifle her gasp as she backed away from the entrance to the rec room. 

No. No, no, no, no, no, she thought. He wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t just start seeing someone without telling her, warning her, would he? 

So, she’d called him. 

“I promised Sam we’d do guys’ night,” he’d told her at brunch, the lie coming so smoothly off his lips. But she’d heard a woman’s voice on the line with him.

Lies.

And then, he’d snapped “I already told you what I was doing… You don’t have to keep checking up on me.” He’d never used that exasperated tone with her before. Never. And to just hang up on her, without even a proper goodbye?

She felt hurt. She felt betrayed. In their years of friendship, Bucky had never lied to her before, had he? And why? Why now? Who was this girl, and what was so fucking special about her that Bucky felt the need to lie to his best friend about her? 

Lily felt like she was going to be sick.

She needed to find out who this mystery woman was, immediately. And she needed to do everything in her power to make sure Bucky never saw her again.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[femdomdiaries]

Random Gojo Headcanons

If yall want me to put any of these into a separate post to better fit your blog theme let me know. It’s just random thoughts rn.

Tw: NSFW below cut. MDNI. One of these mentions breeding qnd pregnancy kink, the other mentions that gojo is a service switch.

SFW Headcanons (Realistic)

He's canonically addicted to sweets so do not underestimate what he would do for a Klondike bar.

On a museum date he would giggle and point everytime he sees a naked statue.

Doesn’t sleep often but when he does he often has nightmares about his past. Never when you’re around.

Doesn't drink but is fluent in drunk and can often be found being a bad influence to intoxicated people at parties.

Hope you don't get embarrassed easily because he has no shame and there will be loads of PDA.

Doesn’t wear headphones for the same reason he doesn’t get drunk.

He would steal your clothes, then when you catch him wearing your stuff, he'd deny that they're yours. You can't really fight him about it because he honestly wears it better anyway.

If you’re shorter than him (he’s 6’3 so likely), he rests his chin on your head when he hugs you from behind.

Chronically late so you have to tell him things in advance.

He always wins competitive games so now he tends to stick to creativity oriented ones like Minecraft. From an artistic perspective he tends to suck at those.

Obscure/Crack Headcanons

He licks the icing off the oreos and puts them back in the package.

Snags bites of your food but complains if you eat his food.

To make up for stealing your clothes he'd order you a "smoking hot outfit" he saw online. But when it arrives it’s barbie doll sized.

Don’t worry, he also got you these really nice shoes. But when the shoes come in they're also barbie doll sized. He puts them on his fingers and walks them up your face.

When he grabs ass or gropes you anywhere he says honk honk or beep beep or something like that.

Still has the original flappy bird on his phone. He holds the high score. Could have gotten higher but he lost interest after a couple thousand.

He made a portrait of you out of macaroni art. You keep it at your job. Your coworkers often say how they wish their children were still in the cute art making stage.

His phone wallpaper is a picture of you naked with hot face emojis censoring your private bits.

His lock screen is you with the potato filter.

Keeps a plant because plants are often unpredictable so even he wouldn't get that right by default.

Had an Undertale phase. You know how Sans is lazy and puts forth no effort because he knows it’ll all just be reset by the player anyway? Gojo canonically doesn’t get involved in major conflicts or try to solve everything because he knows that when he dies it’ll all just revert back to the usual. Twinnem.

Actively played pokemon go when it came out and was definitely on team instinct. Probably trespassed in weird places tryna catch rare pokemon and was single handedly carrying team instinct in his region. (Arguments could be made for team Mystic)

NSFW headcanons (realistic)

Bros the type to beg for sex in public then giggle loudly when you're trying not to get caught in the public bathroom

Since he's kinda just the best at everything, he's been worshipped his whole life, so praise would just go over his head. But degrading him? Using power play to humiliate him or make him seem inadequate in some way? Works wonders.

He would send you really explicit texts and get you all hot and bothered only for it to turn out that he was talking about tres leches cake.

Playfully mocks you for not being able to keep up with his stamina.

While he may have infinite cursed energy, he has a limit to his physical stamina and does eventually get tired after going too many rounds.

Believes that the future rides on the youth, so heavy on the breeding kink and pregnancy kink. Wants kids so if you'll allow it best believe this man is not pulling out.

Obscure/Crack NSFW Headcanons

As a service switch he's more than willing to make up for outperforming you by servicing you on demand. It doesn't matter where or when you're horny, he's all yours.

He gets even more turned on when you push him past his limits to use him like a toy.

Says he wants to bring "a special friend" to bed but it's just a stray cat he found. (If you're allergic, it's a life sized cat plush.)

Answers the phone during sex and doesn't care how loud you are, will talk as if nothing else is going on

"Oh, I have to take this. Oi, Nanami. Yes, this is a good time. Hmm? Oh, nobody's hurt, that's just (Y/n). Say hi (Y/n)."

You'd think his favorite sex toy would be some type of gawk gawk 3000 but no, it's a fleshlight that glows in the dark.

Would love to be a rope bunny but he’s just too strong and always breaks the restraints when he gets excited.

He’ll still want to be tied up if only for aesthetics. Maybe you’ll find curse imbued cuffs on the dark web or something.

[live-laugh-lenney]

platform roulette | arthurtv

i've seen so so so many of these on my dashboard recently and i loved every single one i read/saw so lots of inspiration has come from it... testing the waters... seeing how well they go down... :)))

yourinstagram never too early to start on the grind. (but first, i need an iced coffee).

user1 where are you going??

user2 that's st pancras right?? international girly!!

user3 is this for an arthur hill video?? man's taking us all international now!! can't wait for the banger video you put together <3333

arthurnfhill Bloody hell, you're there early. -> yourinstagram hurry up, maybe?? -> arthurnfhill @/yourinstagram George was late waking up. Honest. -> georgeclarkeey @/yourinstagram @/arthurnfhill False. I think you will find that it was Arthur making us late... slept through that alarm.

user4 An Arthur Hill x George Clarke video incoming! -> yourinstagram don't you dare forget the little cherub that is @/arthurtv. -> arthurtv @/yourinstagram What have I told you about calling me that??

arthurtv Not very summer attire that jumper... Am I the only one that will be wearing shorts today?? -> yourinstagram preparing for any kind of weather, i guess. you never know what'll happen.

user5 the arthur hill reference in the caption killed me. -> yourinstagram it's a certified banger. (the coffee, not the song, btw). -> user5 @/yourinstagram howling. i love you so much

-

yourinstagram posted a story

[caption] filming something spectacular today 🎥 tagged; arthurtv, arthurnfhill, georgeclarkeey

-

yourinstagram i see you girlies are starved of content. i hope you're hungry...

user1 she's one of us.

user2 oh good lord. where are you?

chrismd10 Thank you so much. My tummy is full up now. -> yourinstagram i left my phone unattended and now have a whole folder in my phone full of their shenanigans today if you want them for the bank later on? ;) -> arthurtv @/yourinstagram Please don't do that.

user3 why is she there??? who is she??? -> yourinstagram i'm one of arthur's videographers, babe... have been for a while. feeding you girls the content you deserve. all the credit that goes to him should go to meee <33

-> user4 you deserve an award for a, the insanely good content you give us. and b, having to deal with the insanity of men when they're drunk. -> yourinstagram The three of them turn into children when they get together and have a few drinks. It's funny watching it unfold.

user5 oh good lord. george and the two arthur's with alcohol can only mean one thing: trouble. -> yourinstagram you're correct. today was like going out with three kids. you'll be able to feel my pain in the video. just you wait for the video to be posted and you'll understand.

-

yourinstagram posted a story

[caption] the perks of filming with arthur hill means i get to break into the arthur hill bank account and order the expensive beers. 🍺 tagged; arthurtv, georgeclarkeey, arthurnfhill

-

yourinstagram we somehow ended up in deal and it's become my favourite seaside town this year. platform roulette coming soon!

user1 what the hell have you been doing today?

user2 please tell us when it'll be out. i'm so so excited for this.

georgeclarkeey Of all the content you took and videoed today, you posted that weasel? -> yourinstagram @/georgeclarkeey he's a cute weasel?? -> arthurtv I'd rather be called cherub. -> yourinstagram @arthurtv sorry, my cherub weasel. <33

arthurtv We should go definitely back. -> yourinstagram will you also pay for my train fare like @/arthurnfhill did for me today?? -> arthurtv @/yourinstagram Of course. Not very gentlemanly of me to make my girlfriend pay for a date. -> arthurnfhill @/yourinstagram It was work-related. Wouldn't have paid for you if it was just for fun. x -> yourinstagram @arthurnfhill my resignation will be in the post.

user3 Has YN just hard-launched her relationship with Arthur? -> user1 check out the comments under his comment above. without a doubt... they've not just hard-launched them, they've practically shoved it down our throats. -> user3 @/user1 Oh my god. -> user2 @user1 I KNEW IT!!!! STAN TWITTER CAN DO ONE!!!

[rekino2114]

So we all know Veronika grebenshchikova is amazing, so how about we go the route of being a Shy reader who has a crush on her though everyone in class including her thinks you wither don't like her or are scared of her(not that it stops her from hanging out with you or scaring you) So anyway Reader ends up confessing to Veronika which she acceps in typical Veronika fashion( I hope you write her reaction as amazing as you always write her) and the next day The class finds out that they're now dating since Veronika just casually calls you her boyfriend/darling or you speak up when Hu says something about Veronika frightening you when she's around you.

Veronika grebenshchikova with a shy reader

Everyone thought you were scared of Veronika like many of your other classmates, who wouldn't be? After all, she was kind of a weirdo who liked horror too much and took joy in scaring and pranking other people, not to mention the very unhinged and creepy stuff she said completely randomly

And with how shy you were, you were one of Veronika's favorite people to scare, the way you screamed whenever she randomly popped out of the darkness or when she showed you one of the new creepy decorations she made was just so adorable, like you in general, everything about you was so cute and adorable to her. It was when she started thinking about this that she realized she might actually have a crush on you

But even Veronika herself thought you hated her with how she continued scaring you so she didn't have enough courage to confess and be rejected

Meanwhile, you started to realize the same, Veronika was beautiful, and her creepy antics somehow made her even more attractive to you, seeing her smile whenever she saw you made you blush so hard and your heart beat so fast but despite everything you decided to confess

You invited her to a park and gave her some flowers that she loved and then told her about how you felt while blushing intensely

".....really? You actually love me?

The moment you nodded Veronika squealed and hugged you

"Oh my gosh, this is amazing! I love you too darling, oh can I call you darling? I love that name, oh sorry we aren't even official yet...or are we? I'd love to be your girlfriend.....ahh I can already imagine cuddling you when you're scared during a horror movie.....am I going a bit too fast?"

"Y-yeah just a bit"

"Sorry, I'm just really excited. The cutest guy ever just told me he likes me, and I thought you hated me. Oh, by the way, do you like plushies? I can already think of some that fit your vibe"

"Y-yeah I love them"

"Ahhhh I knew it, you're just getting more adorable by the minute. Your screams are so cute too"

".......t-thank you?......"

"Sooooo are we a thing?"

"I-i'd love to"

"Yaaaaay!!!!"

[Timeskip the next day]

You're sitting next to Veronika while she tells you about the new horror movie she watched yesterday while you're slightly sweating at how happy she looks while telling you about the most gruesome murders you've ever heard of

"Sorry Veronika, may I sit next to y/n for now?"

You both turned to see hu staring at you

"Hm? Why?"

"I couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable he looks around you usually, I would hate for him to feel that way"

"Uncomfortable? Darling am I making you feel that way?"

".....n-no definitely not"

"Darling? Sorry, am I missing something?"

"Oh yeah, he's my darling, or my boyfriend"

"B-boyfriend? Really?"

"Yep! We got together yesterday"

".....y/n, she isn't.....forcing you into this is she?"

"Hey! I would never, Who do you think I am?"

"To be completely honest, you threatened to kill us multiple times"

"Yes and I definitely would if any of you hurt y/n"

"............"

"But I'd never do anything like that"

"Y-yes she's right, I was the one who confessed actually"

"Oh really?"

"Yes, I had a crush on her for a while and decided to act on it.....i-i love Veronika"

"Awwww that's so sweet darling, I love you too"

"I see, I apologize for misunderstanding, I wish you both a happy relationship"

"Thanks hu"

As the zither player went away, Veronika looked at you and smiled brightly

"Thanks so much for defending me darling"

"It's nothing, like I said I love you"