#//yes she said TM out loud

[heroicmultiverse]

"Damn, who invited Father of the Year™️ over here?"

[lisbonsteresa]

you ever just

[hemlock-dreams]

What's Spidys relationship like with the other NY bound heros?

Got a bunch of other hero asks so it's time for Ye Olde Lore Dump!

Johnny and H!Spiderman have never gotten along- in either universe.

They don't even really have any real beef with each other, they're just two dudes who grate on each other's nerves for no particular reason- like two guys at a frat party who are just waiting for an excuse to duke it out.

There's just something about Johnny's playboy easy-come-and-go vibe that makes Spidey want to plant a fist in his face. And Johnny thinks Spiderman is a fucking buzzkill.

Black Widow and Spiderman have a good working relationship. He once helped her out of a tight spot in New York and he was fast, smart and discreet about it- so when she's got some ops she needs a second pair of hands for (under the table), she calls him.

Spiderman admires Nat's competence and single-minded focus in getting things done- they all appeal to the hunter in him. (And he's got a massive crush on her.)

They usually do one or two jobs every few months, and meet up for drinks at one of her safehouses. She's also knows his secret identity, because she's just that scary.

Logan and Peter are BFFs. For real. Logan was in town to help with some shit that ended up involving Deadpool and found himself at St. Margaret's.

He and Peter struck up a friendship that ends up with them going camping every couple of months for a week or so.

Logan likes Peter's no-bullshit sincerity and can tell he's had some shit(TM) go down in his life. Peter's easy to talk to and is good at reading the room. And Peter feels like Logan fills in that space Marko left as a friend/mentor/gruff bro figure.

Logan actually picks up when Peter calls. (most others he leaves on read).

Fun fact, he has no idea Peter is Spiderman.

And another fun fact, it's not Johnny Deadpool is jealous of, it's Logan.

Peter has a very complicated relationship with the Avengers.

On one hand, he knows what they do and what they stand for- on the other hand, he's got a real problem with authority figures. He's been invited to the Avengers multiple times, in both realities.

The answer is always blanket N.O. (And, depending on whether it's stark asking, accompanied by a giant middle finger). (Though he's reluctantly agreed to have an avenger's phone in case there are any massive threats they need help with).

As for the members:

Stark gets on his nerves like nothing else. He's not super easy to rile up, but Stark's playboy arrogance (real or not), way he talks down at people, the self-appointed authority, the entitlement, and, of course, the fucking hypocrisy- it makes Spidey go 0 to 'cashmeoutside' immediately.

He and the Captain sometimes get along, but mostly when the Captain isn't in one of his preachy, pontificating moments. They do work very well together in a combat capacity, but they don't have much to talk about.

Thor is fine, but completely outside of Spidey's sphere and also, difficult to work with given his powers.

Bruce and Spidey just don't have much to talk about, and once again, Hulk is way too loud and can't particularly coordinate when they have to team up.

In general, H!Spiderman gets along with the more 'loner' heroes like Murdock, Deadpool, Black Widow, Bucky, Logan, Clint and so on.

(Side note, imagine he said all these shots fired shit to the Avengers and they were like 'no? none of this happened?' because it's not the same reality and Spiderman has to go home and die from the cringe???) (no we'll let him be cool for this)

-----

Once again, thank you so much for the asks!! I really appreciate all the love this AU has gotten and I hope these answers satisfy!!!

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

part 2 to this | T | wc: 2,141

🐺🌕🐾🐺🌕🐾

No wonder he didn’t fuckin hear him. His whole brain was focusing on excuses that it drowned out anything else. Without the door opening (which would 100% have shut him up), Steve didn’t have the brain power to listen for even the softest carpet-muffled footsteps.

“Sorry, I was coming to help and then I heard you talking about…” Eddie starts, but trails off, glancing between Robin and Steve, then shakes his head as if getting himself back on track, “But then you said you’d ‘radish’ me and it was so damn funny…”

For a breath, no one says anything. Steve can hear it in Eddie’s breath and in his heartbeat’s slightly quickening pace that he’s just about to say something else, probably some way to excuse himself, when Robin bursts out laughing.

“Seriously! I couldn’t believe it either, ‘Radish’! Ha!” She continues to cackle, doubling over dramatically.

Steve rolls his eyes at her, “Yeah, yeah, Steeb no good with word.”

That just makes her laugh louder. “Oh this is too good, damn, I can’t breathe.” She giggles again, standing straight only momentarily, because as soon as she looks at Steve, she starts cracking up again. “Sorry, sorry, I gotta,” another giggle, a gesture toward the house, “I’m just gonna…” she heads back inside, cackling all the way. He even hears her mumble ‘radish’ to herself again just before she slides the door closed behind her.

“Uh…surpri–”

“You’re really a werewolf?” Eddie cuts him off, then realizes. “Oops, sorry.”

Steve sighs and sinks down onto one of the patio chairs. He looks up at Eddie, still standing by the sliding door, and pats the spot on the seat next to him.

Eddie, of course, nearly trips over his own feet to get over to him, falling onto the chair with enough force to shift the feet on his end backwards an inch or two.

“Yeah, I really am.” Steve takes a deep breath and glances over at Eddie; his eyes are wide and wholly focused onto Steve, more than ready to listen. He huffs a laugh when he lets out the breath. “I’m sure you have questions.”

He’s barely gotten the words out when Eddie starts pelting him with questions. “So, can you like..smell really good? Or hear? How far can you hear? Does everyone have their own scent? If you bite someone, do they become a werewolf too? Do you only change on the full moon or is it a ‘whenever I feel like it’ type thing? Like, are you a werewolf or a Werewolf TM?”

Steve snickers at Eddie taking the time to actually say the letters T-M out loud, but it doesn’t affect Eddie’s focus on asking a million and one questions in the slightest. “What color is your fur? Is it brown like your hair? Do you even have fur when you change? Do you have claws? How big do you get anyway? Do you have a tail? Is the pack thing real? What about the mate thin—”

That’s where he cuts himself off. The bright blush on his face seemed to be the cause; all the blood that he could’ve used in his brain to ask more, suddenly rushing to fill up his face with color.

Still smiling, Steve asks, “You done?”

Eddie gulps down nothing, managing a strangled “Yep.”

“Well, I’m a werewolf, I turn into a…not exactly a wolf, I don’t think, more like a big dog? And it’s not really a moon thing; I can change whenever I want to, though I feel more of a need to around the full moon. It’s easier then too.

“I’m about as tall as I am now when I’m changed, like, my face is right about the place it usually is, and yes, I’m stronger, faster, and have had better hearing and smell since it happened.”

“What happened anyway?”

“Hang on, hang on, I’m still answering your first zillion questions.” Steve says, faux-disgruntled. It makes Eddie laugh and do a weird half gesture slash bow in his seat for Steve to continue.

“Okay, uhm…” He starts to count out things on his fingers, thinking back on what Eddie asked. “Yes tail, yes to everyone having a scent, but that’s already been a thing, you can smell other people too, can’t you?” Eddie shrugs in acknowledgement, “Mine’s just stronger of a smell; Not claws, but I have nails like any other dog.. 

“And the pack thing…” This one was going to be more difficult, “Yes? But mostly only for the kids I suppose. And Robin. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll put myself between any of you and whatever danger comes along, but it’s like in my bones to want to…I dunno, hoard them all away? Wolf analogy would be to put them all in the cave,” he gestures to one side, “and put me in the entrance.” Then gestures to his other side. “Not realistic, but that’s what it feels like.”

Eddie snorts a laugh, but nods, so he continues on. “The mate thing though,” Eddie tenses, “It’s not like the fics, not really at least as far as I can tell.”

“You’ve read werewolf fics?”

Steve shrugs, “I got curious, sue me.” They both fall silent, staring out over the pool.

“How’d it happen?”

He takes in a long breath through his nose; the chlorine stings.

“Couple years ago the shitheads roped me into venturing through these tunnels under Merrill’s Pumpkin Patch. Upside Down related nonsense, of course, and when I was helping them back up out of the hole to avoid this..herd of demodogs, I was still down there when they came tearing down the path.

“I think one of them snuck a taste and that’s what did it. Though I didn’t notice it at first, adrenaline and all; plus the beating I’d taken from Hargrove what, a couple hours before that at minimum?

“I woke up a couple days after everything was over that time as a dog, nearly snapped my bedframe in half with all the extra weight. Anyway, long story short is: I woke up a dog, took me a couple days to figure out how to turn back, then another chunk of time figuring out how to do it on purpose, then Starcourt happened and whatever those guys shot me up with made it so I couldn’t change for a while, made me pretty loopy, but I got Robin out of the whole thing, and told her about wolf Steve while coming down off that truth crap, and that’s pretty much it.”

Eddie blinks at him once.

Twice.

Then, sounding as if he was releasing a breath he’d been holding that whole time, Eddie heaves out a “Jesus Christ.”

“Yep.”

Eddie blinks at him a couple more times, then his face scrunches up as if he’s in pain, “Jesus Christ, you heard me talking about being claimed and shit… I was talking to you about it, uugh!” he drops his face into his palms in exasperation.

Steve hears Eddie’s frantic heartbeat grow faster then, so clear it’s as if he had his ear pressed directly to his chest.

“And you overheard me saying I’d like to radish you,” a loud laugh escapes Eddie’s lips, “So I think we’re about even.”

He’d tried to sound confident and nonchalant about it, but in the breath it took Eddie to finally drag his hands down off his face, Steve’s own heart and thoughts were thundering on. It must’ve really, only been hypotheticals, wishful thinking, fantasy. There’s no way Eddie would actually want him. No way his affections that'd grown for the man beside him in the short month since the world didn’t end, would be returned.

Eddie finally removes his hands, “The full moon is only a couple days away.” he says, glancing up at the sky.

See? Topic changed. Steve knew it’d be too good to be true.

“Yeah, there was one right before everything happened last month.” Steve nods, swallowing down the lump in his throat, “Maybe I’ll come by the park and visit.” He elbows Eddie playfully.

“I’ll make sure Wayne doesn’t shoot ya.” Eddie grins.

Steve snorts, elbowing him again and standing. “C’mon, let’s go back in, I think Robin wants to play Uno.”

- - - - -

True to his word, Steve loped out into the light of the full moon a couple nights later on all fours, trotting away from Loch Nora with one place on his mind. 

Crossing through the forest separating the two neighborhoods, he makes it to the edge of the Forest Hills park in no time at all. He skirts along the edge of the park to where the government had bought and placed the Munsons’ new apology double-wide and hunches low, padding along until he’s under the window he knows is Eddie’s.

Even if he hadn’t known before now, the music he could hear across the highway out by the entrance to the park would certainly tell him which one is the metalhead’s.

He hops his front paws up just under the edge of the window and sneaks a glance inside.

Eddie’s bed is against the wall in this trailer, the end of it falling right under this window, and Eddie is sitting in the middle of the mattress, hunched over his guitar.

Not wanting to scare him, Steve originally wants to just scratch his nails along the sturdy vinyl siding here, but even if he didn’t have enhanced hearing, he’d know that Eddie wouldn’t be able to hear something so light.

So, he barks.

One short ‘boof’ at the bottom pane does it, and if Eddie had been holding anything but the literal most important possession of his, it’d be on the other side of the room with how far he jumps.

“Jesus Chri— Steve?” he asks disbelievingly at the window.

Steve feels his doggy face react to the goofy grin he’d be doing if he’d been on two legs. Tongue lolling out one side, tail swooshing up a mini hurricane behind him, damn he’s obvious.

Eddie comes to the window and Steve drops down onto all fours, plopping down on his haunches while he waits for his friend to budge open the glass.

He finally wrenches it open, grinning down at Steve in wonder, “Look at you, big boy, y’came to see me after all—”

Whatever Eddie says after that is lost to the now-settling wind. 

All of Steve freezes up. His tail stops mid wag, his jaw snaps shut and narrowly misses catching his tongue on his own teeth. 

Because Steve can smell him.

He can smell Eddie.

Screw whatever he’d told him before at his pool, not everyone has a smell. Not one like this.

Sweet and spicy, smoky and delicious, like nothing he'd ever smelled before.

The wolf part of his brain, a mostly mute half of him that seems to be what tells him where the moon is in its cycle, how far away that smell he picked up on the wind is, that holds all his baser instincts, screams “MINE.”

Just before he’s about to fling himself over/onto/past Eddie in the window to get into that trailer by any means necessary, Steve’s conscious human brain grasps onto the last sliver of conscious thought, and not a moment too soon. His legs were couched as if about to leap.

He wrestles his wolf brain back, tucking his tail down (telling it desperately to stop wagging goddamnit), lowering his front paws and nose to the ground and taking lungfuls of dirt smell instead, and backs up.

He takes two good steps back before Eddie’s voice cuts through his hold on himself, “-eve? Steve! What’s wron–?”

His hold on his last strand of conscious thought wrenches him around and sends him flying back into the trees to Eddie’s call of “Where are you going?”

He just needs to stay out of Hawkins, stay in the woods at least, nowhere near where Eddie would find him if he came looking.. At least until the full moon is over and he won't feel that uncomfortable itch beneath his skin to shift if he goes back to two legs.

His thoughts threaten to whirl, why now, why Eddie? Okay, he knows why he’d like it to be Eddie, but really? Mates are a real thing and Eddie is his?? 

The wolf brain rumbles happily and Steve finds himself listing back towards Forest Hills mid-run and corrects himself.

He can’t risk hurting Eddie; what would he even do? His wolf brain says to bite, to claim, reminds him that Eddie wants that too, but wouldn’t that hurt him?? His teeth are, in fact, much larger in this form.

He’s listing again.

Steve shakes his head, empties his head of everything but run, breathe, run, breathe, run…

Daybreak can’t come soon enough.

🐺🌕🐾🐺🌕🐾

surprise! it was always meant to be 'radish' lmao

editing to tag folks who were interested in the last part!

@shainsaw22, @devondespresso, @sageclipse, @allyricas, @hotluncheddie, @stedumpsterfire, @themoonagainstmers, @mugloversonly, @yesdangerpls, @matchingbatbites

[sebsbarnes]

Hi there!

I first of all wanted to start off by saying that I’m absolutely obsessed with your work- it’s amazing!!

Secondly, I was wondering if I could make a request?

Can I request a tangerine x reader where they’re out at a bar or something and there’s this guy being really pervy and creepy and just won’t leave her alone?

Obviously the reader can handle herself but they just got back from a long and tiring mission, and she quite honestly doesn’t have the energy.

So of course tan comes to the rescue 🤭🤭

I hope this is okay, and if not please feel free to ignore this!!

Have a wonderful day love and don’t forget to drink lots of water <33

heey!! i really appreciate the kind words, it keeps me going! i hope you've had a good day/night and if not tm will be better! and i hope u enjoy this!

bar fight || tangerine

tangerine x f!reader

warnings: harassment, fighting

word count: 1.6k+

masterlist

a/n: im drawing inspo from something that happened to me one time at a bar which will be the reason tan steps in here but of course tangerine was not there to save me although that would've been lovely

"just one pint! two, two! i swear and then we all can leave," lemon pleaded, "we can leave the second i finish it. i'll even take the last sip on the way out the door," he tried enticing you, rubbing his shoulder up and down against yours.

"i reek, lemon. and tangerine looks like he nose dived into green and purple paint," you grimaced slightly at the bruises forming on tan's face.

lemon grabbed your wrist dragging you closer to the bar doors, "is it even a real bar if at least ten people don't smell awful and your shoes don't stick to the floor?"

the color of your eyes disappeared into the back of your head, "let's go."

lemon did a little victory dance before swinging the door open which tangerine held for you to walk in. the fatigue was riddled on both of your faces. the three of you had just gotten back into town after a long and very successful mission. you were all for celebrating but tonight you'd rather celebrate with a burning hot shower.

"you 'right by yourself? i'm going to head to the balcony for a few," tangerine asked, waving his pack of cigarettes in the air.

"yeah go for it, i'll manage," you replied. tangerine gave you a small nod before turning his back and sliding outside.

the inside of the bar was packed and you were shuffling around with your shoulders pulled in to try and avoid hitting people. it was loud, smelly, and yes, the floors were grossly sticky. it only annoyed you more, but, you tried having a positive attitude about it. 'two drinks' is all you kept telling yourself. after what felt like years you made it to the bar. you were sandwiched against a girl with blonde hair and a guy who weaseled his way in between you and an older gentleman. you could feel his eyes burning holes in the side of your head and the last thing you wanted to do was look over, but, it was becoming too much.

"hi!" he nearly yelled as you glanced over quickly.

"hey," you said curtly, bringing your lips into a straight line.

"i'm craig. what's your name?" he asked leaning in closer to you. you gave him your name, refusing to look back at him as you felt his eyes examine you. the drink you ordered appeared in front of you and you scribbled your name on the receipt.

"what's that you're drinking?" craig asked but you pretended not to hear him as you slinked into the crowd, hoping to lose him.

it worked for a while, you found some space near a wall to stand. there was a group of girls next to you singing loudly and dancing around. you couldn't lie and say it wasn't infectious as one of the drunk girls grabbed your hand and started dancing with you, which of course you joined in. it was fun and it kept your mind off how tired your body was.

"thought i lost you there!" you flinched away, startled, by craig's nervous laughter beside you. you looked down at the man who stood inches below you and gave him an award-winning fake smile.

"you're very pretty," he said puffing his chest out slightly.

"thanks."

"you don't talk much, eh? is it because you're nervous around me?" craig asked his eyes looking down at your legs.

"just tired!" you exclaimed with fake enthusiasm, gulping down the tequila in your cup.

"you seem a bit lonely, are you by yourself tonight?" he persisted, inching closer to you with each word despite you stepping to the side each time.

"nope!" you retorted, popping the 'p' and turning to find the bathroom.

you stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes and finished your drink. the eyebags seemed to protrude out of your face as you examined them in the mirror. now, lemon had to almost be done with his drinks. that man can pound drinks back. so, with high hopes you left the bathroom to go find a seat at the bar and wait until lemon found or texted you or hopefully tangerine was done smoking.

there was a vacant stool in the dead center which you jumped on. your elbow rested against the bar, head in hand, absentmindedly watching the tv in the corner. it was a boxing match that you had zero interest in but it provided enough entertainment. you shut your eyes tight as you felt the familiar, unwelcomed, presence over your shoulder.

"look, i think you are really pretty. hotter than anyone else here and look at me. any girl would want me and the fact you're trying to play hard to get is starting to really piss me off," craig ranted but you refused to turn your head and pretended like the noise of the bar drowned his voice out.

"you're right, i'm sorry. that was rude of me, i apologize. i just noticed you the moment you walked into the bar and i needed to talk to you. you're really beautiful and i know i'd treat you right. whoever you're dating must not be treating you right because i can feel that you want me."

tangerine blew out one last cloud of smoke and tossed his cigarette into the ashtray. it was far more peaceful outside but he knew he had to go in and find lemon, who he knew was more than two drinks in and probably friends with ten more people. tangerine opened the door back into the bar and scanned the room. that's when he saw a man with his hand on your throat.

you ignored craig's presence until you no longer could. he was silent for a few moments after his rant. suddenly, you saw a hand snake into your field of vision and you felt his hand pressing firmly against your throat. you were shocked for a moment before realizing what was going on. craig's thumb and middle finger were applying harsh pressure to your throat making it hard to breathe. then, you felt the pressure shift in his hand from choking to pushing. craig pulled you to the ground by your throat, your body flying backward off the stool and slamming into the floor.

you saw a figure jump over your body and loud commotion next to you but you were too disorientated at the moment from the wind being knocked out of you. one of the bartenders leaped over the bar and pulled you up and shielded you from the commotion. that's when you realized it was tangerine who had hopped over and started beating craig to the floor. it was like a scene straight out of the boxing match you were just watching. tangerine towered over craig in height and build and the anger in his face was terrifying.

tangerine was throwing the smaller man across the bar with punches. he'd punch craig in the face to which he stumbled and then tangerine would trip him. his body would fall to the ground and tangerine would pick him up by the shirt before launching him into the now vacant stools.

"please!" craig pleaded, blood running from his eyebrow. tangerine grabbed the back of his neck and slammed his face into the bar.

"you like hurting women? huh?" he screamed, "you think you're so tough, look at you now! fuckin' pathetic piece of shit. what? it's not fun being picked on and harassed?"

tangerine was raging. his face and chest were red with anger and the vein in his forehead pulsated. he had wild eyes similar to when he was on a mission. you watched as he slipped his hand into his pants pocket, slipping on his brass knuckles. before he was able to crush the bastard's nose lemon swooped in from behind and grabbed tangerine's bicep. the bouncers from outside grabbed craig by the neck of his shirt and kicked his bloody body out of the bar. lemon's hands were on tangerine's shoulders trying to calm his brother down. finally, tangerine's chest rose and fell at a normal pace and he turned his head and noticed you. lemon released his shoulders letting him walk to you.

tangerine cupped your face and craned his neck down a bit, "are you alright love?"

you laughed slightly uncomfortable that a big scene was made because of you, "yeah... just shocked really."

"did he hurt you in any other way?" he asked with softness.

"no. no... i didn't think it would turn into that. he had been bothering me the whole time i should've been more forceful but i was just too tired to really care," you sighed.

"no," tangerine said sternly, now eye level with you, "none of this is your fault, okay? that prick should know better than to continue to harass someone who is clearly not accepting their advances. and the fact he fuckin' put his hands on you. fuck i'll..." tangerine gritted his teeth now standing upright and looking towards the door craig was kicked out of.

"tan! no. you getting arrested is not worth it. i'm okay, okay? he got what he deserved and i really don't want to be here any longer," you pleaded, grabbing onto his forearm to force him to look at you.

tangerine caressed your head, his eyes filled with a mixture of sorrow and anger. tangerine guided you outside and when the door shut he pulled you into a tight but gentle hug, mindful of your back.

"i'm so fuckin' sorry love. i should've stayed with you the whole night," he whispered into your hair.

you pulled back from the hug, "mmm no, hey, hey- that's not what we are going to do. you have nothing to be sorry for and i'm thankful for you and not just now when you beat dickheads up for me, but always."

[cafecourage]

Pinky Isn't Suffering - Finale

It was a time tm to write this and I'm happy its finally posted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The question of what now and what exactly Twilight’s and Pinky’s relationship was. 

Unfortunately, they didn’t really get a chance to process anything because as soon as they both were spotted, Twilight and Pinky were whisked off to do different tasks around the settlement. Enno was found and still healing in Skyloft but they needed more supplies. Twilight went on a small hunting trip for food with Wild while Pinky was able to team up with Zelda with the other supplies since there wasn’t much supplies on the surface.

When they finally reconvene, it was the evening at the inn.

The others had already split up the room at the inn to save on time. This led to them sharing a room. Naturally.

Pinky looked at Twilight with a small tired smile “I’ll be in your care again then.” She was teasing him. Twilight’s nerves couldn’t be calmed though. The two of them knew that the talk needed to happen but was it so wrong of him to process this without the crushing realization that she liked him back, and not only that, but have a ranch and family together?

However, fate it seems had other ideas for them.

As when the two of them walked into the room, there was only one bed. Twilight had to stand there for a moment. Two, actually. He couldn’t help but sigh. This had the other boy’s prank idea written all over it. He walks in already taking off his bag and pelt. “I’ll sleep on the-“

“Sleep with me,” Pink said, interrupting him. This caused another long pause as Twilight tried to do the math in his head about what she even meant with that. “I mean sleep in the bed with me.” Pinky clarified quickly, “please… there’s enough room for the both of us.” She walks over, helping him take off the pelt with Twilight frozen in his spot. Then he takes her hands. “We… we also need to-“

“I love you.” Twilight was a little loud with that announcement taking her back for a second. It was very loud for such an intimate moment. “For a while now actually.” He continued. He can’t stop now that the flood gates are open. “Maybe since I’ve first met you.”

With a shaky hand, he lifts it up to cup her cheek. “Your laugh, your smile, your everything. I love it all. I love how gentle yet firm you are, that you look out for the others and me. I love your boundless empathy, your wit, and determination.” Twilight gently tugs Pinky closer, giving her a chance to back off if she chooses to. But she steps closer when he intends to hold her while wrapping her arms around his torso. 

“I love you Brittany.”

“Link…” Pinky tears up then goes face first into his chest. “I love you too.” Just a few simple words and he was tearing up. Holding her felt like he was holding the world in his arms. 

It felt safe and warm having her here.  “Yes, I will share the bed with you.” He adds.

This made Pinky pause for a second and laugh.

Twilight cups her cheeks again, “may I?”

“Yes, finally!” Pinky sighs, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Please.” She didn’t have to say anymore as Twilight swoops in for a long deserved kiss.

[peppershark]

Could we please get a snippet for the next Wolfed update? 🥺

Yes—plz forgive me, non this update is way later than I promised but it’s gonna be a banger. 😏

Presently, the trees open to a larger meadow where a sea of dusky brown cattle spread out across the green embankment, browsing among colorful dots of wildflowers. About as many stout little calves wander or lay in groups, strewn about the grass.

Their bells clink in a chime-like sound that pangs in Hermione, a haunting nostalgia that can’t be placed.

The high peaks gloam down at them, their granite faces like stern, rough-hewn kings crowned with snow.

Tom loops around the path, Black’s legs hock-deep in the grass, and he brings Nagini’s lead rope to Hermione.

“Just hang on to her and stay here. You’ll block the wrong end of the trail.”

He has a severity to his movements as he gathers up the reins, so serious. Black picks up on his energy, stepping quickly and quivering his nostrils at the cows. Eager.

Without looking backward, he urges Black into a gentle canter toward the edge of the trees, hemming around behind the cattle.

A murmuring low echoes across the pasture, and the bells start to clank together. 

A ripple of cows move like one brown phalanx toward the trail. Flurries of starlings and grasshoppers shoot up from the grass around their legs.

Hermione grips Nagini’s rope.

All she has to do is stay here, he said, and the cows will turn away from her and go up the trail.

The mule swishes her tail, bobbing her long, cinnamon-speckled head. It’s as if Nagini can pick up on Hermione’s lack of confidence like a strong scent. 

Dread plunges through her.

The cows approach ponderously. 

Some veer up the trail, but others stop a few yards from Hermione. Their long-lashed gaze and whuffing snorts make her fear they’re planning to rush her hesitant barricade.

Nagini tosses her head, jerking on the rope. Has the mule chosen this time to test her on purpose?

“No you don’t!” Hermione says in her boldest voice.

But when it comes to hoofed creatures, she knows she has no clout.

Giving her a malicious eye, Nagini stretches her strawberry roan neck and arches like a cat. The baggage on the pack saddle bunches precariously, listing at an alarming angle.

All at once, a horrible, metal-clattering sound bellows from the mule, loud as the wail of a steam engine. Its sheer volume beside Hermione obscures any familiarity she has with a ‘hee-haw’ sound and instead nearly bowls her over. 

With another trumpeting call, Nagini launches into a series of fierce bucks and kicks, rolling the pack saddle askew. The rope strains in Hermione’s fingers, and she leans heavily on her left stirrup to keep hold of it.

The ground rushes at her before she can think, knocking the wind out of her lungs.

Hermione squirms on the dirt, gasping. Fighting to take in air.

There’s a vibration resonating through the packed soil of the trail and a chorus of anxious moos. 

She braces herself up on her elbow to find Crookshanks trotting off toward the grass while Nagini bolts, flailing her back legs in the air and rolling her spine like she has a burr under her saddle.

The cows scatter from the mule like oil from water. 

A flank of cattle stamp toward her, snorting wildly. Hooves thunder the earth. 

Hermione opens her mouth to cry Stop! but her lungs are wrung out.

She gags on air.

Hand shaking, she reaches for her wand but her sleeve holds nothing but her trembling arm.

Nothing remains but for her to watch the cows fill her vision, only feet away now. Their smell is sweet, sodden grass and animal musk. Eyes white around their edges.

Turning away, she shields her face with her arm…

…Next weekend I will have the chapter done! I’m just one scene away from turning over to @seollem-tm my beta!

[fruitsgoblin]

*kicks in the door* I heard you like Sigma and I need your thoughts on him (I have recently discovered him and I feel like I’ve slept on this)

YES... he is the current little meow meow of my heart... tragic enthusiastic astrophysicist with a good heart and a great voice my beloved

im gonna ramble now so---

you can see his origin story video on youtube and currently from what I'm getting there hasn't really been much lore for him since he released like... 3.. years ago? BUT there are little crumbs of information you can get and/or interpret from the voice lines he has and his interactions with the characters in game, some of my faves in particular being:

all the sombra lines with him where it feels like she genuinely cares and worries for him, she looks out for him as Moira and the others perform... definitely """non-intrusive""" experiments on him as he says (I am new to the OW world proper but I can't help but wonder if Talon's experimenting on him is part of why his mental state isn't improving as much as it should (his mind tends to wander).. it's already known that they just want him to be their living weapon and not actually support his research... I hope we get to see him changing over to overwatch's side and get life quality improvements with Winston's help)

the kill lines when you take down moira and doomfist, which are apparently dutch proverbs -- I wonder what his true thoughts are on his "co-workers" and if he truly doesn't realize he's being used

all the voice lines with him asking silly things which convinces me he would 1000% be the one roommate to wake you up at 4am to say things like "if two astronauts were on the moon and one threw a rock at the other one would that be messed up or what"

and... more, honestly, he's a HUGE DORK and while you can feel he's a sweet person trough a lot of the lines theres ones where hes absolutely savage ("death traveled lightyears to take you" when killing someone by throwing a huge rock at them via his gravity powers -- or, my absolute fave that made me cackle maniacally out loud, when interrupting Genji's ability "oh! sorry did I interrupt your swordplay?" LIKE... SIR.)

also bc I just realized I completely forgot to mention the main things about him:

called "sigma", his real name is siebren de kuiper and he's a 62 yr old dutch astrophysicist, focus on black holes, got his gravity powers from said black holes (experiment gone wrong), got emprisoned by the government and boy I can only imagine the trauma this blorbo has (was he receiving proper care??? therapy???? man is literally out here losing himself) and then got rescued by The Baddies TM (Talon) to be turned into a living weapon on the pretense of wanting to help him with his research

(clutches my little gay heart) I have so much love for this senior citizen I will cherish him and kiss he. which is really super funny because I started out playing him because it was funny to inflict ToesMan on my friends but then I heard him and more about him and turns out. I was the one being inflicted with ToesMan all along (we lovingly call him toesman because in most of his skins the only skin showing are his head and his feet)

[beangirl73047]

PJO/HOO/TOA Fic Recs

Note: I consider Son of Sea Foam to be the greatest pjo fic I've ever read, so even if none other on this list interest you, I think you should try that one.

Son of Sea Foam

“She’ll never claim me,” he whispered. Silena shook her head, eyes wild as she looked around for anyone who could be watching.

“My mother doesn’t remember half of her children as it is,” she said with a note of bitterness. “If you do something to impress her, it won’t matter. Return the bolt in her name. She’ll claim you if you act the part. If you stay unclaimed then they'll figure out what you really are," she said, squeezing his hands tightly. Percy's heart sped up.

"I - I don't know the first thing about Aphrodite-"

"My mother was born of sea foam," Silena cut him off. "And if you're really who I think you are... you are the sea. You can pull this off," she said and touched his cheek. "Get the bolt. Survive," she said. Percy swallowed.

"What if I can't act the part?" He asked. Silena's expression went blank for a moment. Slowly, she slipped off her bracelet and placed it in his hands.

"If you're going to be one of us... you better learn."

Or

AU where Percy has to hide the fact he's a Big Three kid otherwise he'll be killed on the spot. Unfortunately for him, unclaimed kids tend to raise the most suspicion... but he might have found a loophole in the form of Aphrodite.

how to debate with your fellow olympians in a professional manner (a guide by apollo)

Apollo returns to Olympus. Meg McCaffrey's fate is decided.

Gods' Eye View - Book 1: The Hidden Oracle

I tried to keep my face impassive as my little brother hurtled through the air.

It did not pay to show weakness while in the company of other gods. Passion, yes- but not weakness. That’s why Father had called a council meeting, after all. To show us Apollo’s trials, everything my twin would have to suffer through for having dared to oppose him. It was his way of reinforcing his iron grip on us, of showing he still had power, after the debacles and humiliation from the Second Titan War and the Second Giants War - particularly the latter, as Zeus did more to hinder the efforts to combat Gaea than to help. If we’d all done what he’d commanded, we’d be destroyed by now.

Zeus would never admit to that. Not out loud. But he knows we’re all thinking it.

So naturally, my little brother is his scapegoat. ------------

Zeus calls the Council together to watch Apollo's punishment.

No Light in Sight

Apollo has been missing for the past 2000 years

 

"Who's that?" Percy says pointing at the statue in front of him.

Annabeth looks at the statue before answering, "That's Lord Apollo, Patron God of Camp Half-Blood"

The Patron God? "Why haven't we seen him then?" He questions, because surely the patron god the camp would at least make an appearance

"Thats because he went missing 2000 years ago"

Used To Hang My Head Low~ Now I Hear It Loud (We Gon' Burn The Whole House Down)

Day 16: Nymphs and Negligence

Primordials were defeated by titans. Titans were defeated by gods. Why does everyone assume it's the demigods who will destroy Zeus? Everyone overlooks the nature spirits.

They'll learn.

 

Or: Grover notices a few things about Zeus and has some things to say about it. Unfortunately for Zeus, he talks to Apollo.

True Love Is Taking Turns Lying (and Believing)

day 2: growing pains. Saw this and all I could think of was a) Taking Turns by the crane wives and b) REVOLUTION AU OH YEAHH BABEYYYYY

Soooooo here we have Apollo suffering, as we all love, and his family slowly seeing the Real Him (tm)- and maaaaaybe preparing for a revolution.

Maybe.

(Okay yeah. Some of them are definately preparing for a revolution the more they learn about Apollo.)

(*cough* *cough* artemis *cough* *cough*)

One Light, Higher Than The Sun~ Invisible to Some (Until It's Time)

Day 9: The Hour Past Midnight

Send Me Anywhere~ Take Me Out (I'm The Well They're Gonna Drag You Down)

Day 12: Revenge served cold

Was i NOT supposed to write the beginning of another revolution fic in response to that prompt???? well i dont care either way. It's a revolution fic :)

Sunrise

At 10,000 years of age, Apollo falls to Chaos. With the last of his strength, he sends his memories through the fabric of Space-Time.

At 1 day of age, Apollo refuses to let the story be the same as last time.

Vi Va La Revolution.

 

SkyFall: Season 1, Arc 1- The Rising Sun.

In which Apollo lives through his early life, forming alliances and rewriting mythological history while striving to keep his siblings and family safe from threats outside and within their home. Will he succeed? Or will Fate prevail once more?

One thing is for sure, Apollo remembers.

And he will take his vengeance.

Trials of Apollo - New Prophecy

The Oracles have all be restored, Apollo has gotten is immortality back. He appears at camp to visit Meg and his kids, he finds that fate is not yet done with him.

Hello Ocean, My Old Friend

Poseidon keeps getting offerings from Percy’s baby sister. He doesn’t quite know how to feel about this small child vying for his attention…At the very least he would keep Zeus from blowing up whenever her prayers interrupted council meetings.

Or

Rick Riordan gave us Estelle Blofis and I am thrilled. She's going to get Poseidon to attend family events even if every god on Olympus kills her.

Lester Papadopoulus and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Lester wakes up in an alleyway with several broken bones, a mysterious voice ringing in his head, and only a New York Junior's Driver's License as a clue to who he was. Overall, not the best way to start a Quest.

But hey, at least there's this random 12 year old girl to keep him company.

Family doesn't end in blood

Three times Amphitrite saw Percy help sea creatures, Plus the one time Percy needed help

travel youtuber nico + some guy he's dating

nico has a travel youtube blog, and also a crush/boyfriend who tags along sometimes

"You must make your own choice.": Reconstructing Apollo's Journey within Riordan's Narrative

“I was the worst of the gods,” he says, dropping all pretenses as he sings of his failures to the myrmekes. Because I loved too much. Because I felt guilty. Because I kept trying to do more. Because I kept changing my mind.

These are unforgivable sins for a god. That’s what Apollo and all of his divine siblings have been taught. That’s what they’ve all, in time, learned to believe. Good people don’t survive on Olympus.

And Apollo is, above all, a survivor.

So Apollo doesn’t want to believe he’s a good person.

This is incredibly uncharacteristic of me, he makes sure to specify every time he does something kind, every time he finds himself unable to hide his shame or guilt or doubt, to hide how much he cares, well past the point where we start realizing that it is, in fact, perfectly characteristic of him.

the jackson files

Makin’ pancakes @makinbaconpancakes Does anyone know who the fuck Percy Jackson is???

Oranges are spicy @ronaldmcd Whomst?

Makin’ pancakes @makinbaconpancakes Check rachel dares insta story

Oranges are spicy @ronaldmcd k

Oranges are spicy @ronaldmcd Okay somebody find out who this kid is right damn now.

-

Rachel Elizabeth Dare posts a video of Percy on her instagram story. it all just spirals from there.

Mother of Heroes

Hestia is the goddess of offerings. She is the goddess of Home. She is the goddess of flame. She is the eldest child of the titans.

She is tired of hearing the demigods beg for acknowledgement, and dying without it.

So they're hers now.

Dona Eis Requiem

Really. Apollo would need to have words with the Oracle of Delphi. The one time it has him recite a prophecy instead of Rachel, and it predicts the downfall of Zeus. Couldn't it at least wait until he was not in the presence of his father?

Secrets of the Sun

“No, that kid is too similar to me… way too similar... Almost like he’s…” Apollo’s eyes widened.

“Like he’s you from the future?” Persephone finished.

Dionysus asked incredulously, “You don’t seriously think that right? There’s no way you would ever dare to look like that!”

--------------------------

This is literally just a Trials of Apollo reading the books fic. Hope you enjoy!

 

[Discontinued until further notice]

way down we go

Apollo slipped off the ledge and fell into Chaos.

Down and down he went, the void swallowing up all that he is, he was, and he could be. Darkness. Upwards he rose, gold swirling around him, all that could have been.

Apollo tumbled out of his bed with a yelp, the fall to the floor far bigger than he was expecting it to be. The soft carpet nearly gave him a concussion, his mortal body feeling weak and fragile after that fall into Chaos…

Wait. After his fall?

golden eyes, ocean eyes

There was a moment between birth and ascending where a newborn god was vulnerable, the touch of pure immortality still grabbing a hold of them. Immortality, after all, was not a thing to be created or destroyed. It was the concept of unchanging permanence, and one could not be born or dying permanently, forever.

And those who are not gods cannot see a god’s true form without irreparable harm.

The only thing Apollo ever saw was his sister’s true form.

AKA

Blind!Apollo AU, where this changes everything and nothing at all

Make Hay While the Sun Shines

At the end of the Tower of Nero, the big fight with python ends with him losing. But maybe not, because Apollo wakes up to find himself, in his Lester Papadopulous mortal form... in southern California, 2006?!?!?!?! Self-confidence zapped after his failure with the nightmare snake, with no friends or enemies/murderous exes in sight, currently in unknown territory due to recent character development with a different perspective on life, and about half a decade of history regressed. He plans to lie low, and wait this out, while no imminent danger or uncertain perilous fates surround him. This is the past, before his trials, before any of the prophecies meant anything. He should be able to stay of trouble. It's a foolproof plan. Completely. With no flaws. Surely, surely, this time, nothing will go wrong.

He should've remembered what Percy Jackson said about jinxing himself.

[justanotherfanfolks]

Shouting Into the Void #2: Those Diasomnia Boys Are An Enigma (TWST)

Drunk Minstrel one of the Top 10 characters in that movie and should have gotten a TWST counterpart.

Every TWST character represents someone/something in the Disney franchise. Yes, me stating the obvious obviously. But it tends to be easy to spot. The Overblot Boys are each of the villains, the rest of Heartslabyul are the card soldiers, Ruggie is a hyena, the tweels are the eels, Kalim is the Sultan, and Rook is the huntsman (Epel being the apple had me freaking out, and it was in the name). I'm only not really sure about Jack and Ortho. Jack is an outlier and I might understand Ortho better if I read Book 6. 

Now for the enigmas:

Those three. I like to consider myself a general expert on the Sleeping Beauty movie (I watched that thing an unhealthy amount of times and still do). We have a lot of theories about those three. The obvious potential contenders for those three to be stand ins for are the Three Good Fairies (they were the main characters of the movie, fight me on this), Aurora, Philip, and Diablo. However, Epel being the apple (inhales) opens doors for representing objects, like the spinning wheel, the shield of virtue, and the sword of truth. I had also considered Maleficent's henchman because I'm mean (sorry Sebek). The dorm trailer made people think they were each of the good fairies, but I don't think so. Sebek and Silver don't match up to Fauna and Merryweather to me. I had my own thoughts on who these three do match up with though.

Lilia. He has to be the 3 good fairies. A kind of combo deal. He's got the leadership qualities and respect of Flora, Fauna's kind and well meaning nature (despite it often resulting in a comedic final product, looking at those skills in the kitchen) and willingness to see the good in people, and Merryweather's sass and bit more playful nature. Those three are really powerful, almost on par with Maleficent only because their good magic holds them back a bit against hers. Malleus is definitely stronger than Lilia, he's just kind of young. Lilia is also a friend of the royal family and thought highly of in the kingdom, just like the good fairies. Also he raised a baby in a house in the woods into their teen years, so yeah… Dad for the win!

Sebek. I read one thing that said "Maleficent's lightning powers" and it does work with his name and symbol, but that feels like a disservice to Sebek even though those powers are really cool. It's also a disservice to the movie. He's gotta be something better. I did once think henchman. Not in terms of being dumb, Sebek is actually really smart. More so in terms of being a loyal servant of the Maleficent stand in. However, in terms of loyalty, I can see him being Diablo. Call it me reading too much into the hair, but it could pan out. Being loyal to your master to the very end, only looking out for said master regardless of other people, being very VERY loud. I think it works out. He also takes his job the most seriously. I think he'd see Silver as one of the henchmen. 

Speaking of Silver, let's jump to who I think is the most theorized Diasomnia character in terms of standing in. The most popular are Aurora and Philip. Philip is for Silver's knightley skills mainly and bonus he's in the equestrian club. However, I've always leaned more towards Aurora. BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH. Baby raised in the woods by fae, kind and friendly with the animals everywhere, the referenced attractiveness, the called out niceness. He's part of the Facepalm Brigade, aka the Really Nice Ones. Can't represent a villain thing with a record like that. And the most obvious aspect: the Sleeping TM. Okay, my number 1 pet peeve with Sleeping Beauty adaptations based on this particular movie is how the writers also go "oh lol, let's make the Sleeping Beauty person always sleeping and doing so at random times for no reason." I hate that. She was cursed. She slept the one time, now she's labeled for life. But Silver works. But why? Because he constantly mentions how much he hates it and can't control it. THAT is setting something up. But we don't know why he sleeps, but my guess? Curse. My sister has a theory that Malleus once tried to put a baby Silver to sleep with magic and ended up cursing him with Lilia toning down the effects. I call her valid, I like it. Regardless of why he sleeps, you can't tell me this boy isn't cursed. It could have been anyone. Accident? On purpose (looking at you, grandma)? We don't know. This is just some baby Lilia found and said "this is mine now." He could be another combo deal, but Aurora is definitely the main one in that. He just reminds me of her so much. We really need his backstory explored in Book 7. I'm ready for those lore drops!

I did mention objects. While I'm leaning towards the character connections, I can't overlook those objects and how important they are. Epel can't be the weird one (he was the apple, how could it have taken me so long to see it-). At the very least, they can be a secondary stand in. Some characters tend to slightly connect to someone else along with their main counterpart. If Diasomnia does this, Sebek and Silver are the sword and shield. Oh, writing that out, the alliterations…

Anyway, Silver's symbol is a sword. Movie has sword. There ya go. Technically, both of them are good with a sword and actually bond over them. Silver just gets first dibs with his symbol. Shield could be Sebek. His primary goal in life is serve and protect Malleus. Also, I can totally see him jumping in front of a shot for his master. Also, sword and shield can either put Sebek and Silver side by side or on opposing sides, something to think about.

So, those are my thoughts on this debate. I love this movie and Book 7 must do it justice! I trust these writers, can't wait to see where they take this!

[yotome]

Cynic seeks route to experience actual emotions

(minor not very important spoilers for Sariel)

My first route was Clavis. He's actually the reason I started Ikepri, and I liked him much more than I thought I would - I tore through that storyline twice like nobody's business! In other words, he set a pretty dang high standard.

Next, there was Chevalier. Gotta understand Chevalier to understand Clavis, right? I got through both runs in decent time, though occasionally Chev's MC over-otomed me, and I would have to take a recovery break to handle my alarmingly berserk blood pressure.

I read one of Leon's routes after that, and he seemed like a cool dude. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do both, though, so I tried Yves. He is baby.

I next landed on Sariel's route. It had just been released, after all, plus he's purple and wears glasses for extra cool points. It didn't seem to be going much of anywhere for me at the start, but hey, you never know! It could ramp up!

Then I got to the first hint of romance, and ...

Oh. She fell off something (stairs? ladder? the floor?) because otome, but held onto her books also because otome because she treasures them greatly. He's kinda touched by the strength of her passions overcoming the instinctive fear of a fall, or something (i.e. she didn't catch herself). She thinks he's hot and possibly morally questionable. Yes, honey, he is both. He wouldn't wear a pant leg made of belts if he was just some normal guy.

I tried to go "aww" but found the impulse utterly missing. I wasn't even irritated, weirdly enough. Hello? Heart? You still in there?

... No response.

At that point, I stopped reading his route. I didn't change to another suitor, as I kept telling myself that I'd resume in a little bit. Of course, life happened, and there were days where I forgot to log in ... which is when the app started doing THIS:

The first time it happened: I guess that's kinda cute.

The secondish time: You already told me that.

The ??? time: Dammit Sariel, get over the punishment gag already. What are you, a minister or a one-trick pony??

The most recent time: YOU THINK YOU CAN PUNISH ME, DO YOU? FOOL. YOU HARDLY KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD. I'LL MAKE YOU TALK TO CLAVIS FOR 24 HOURS STRAI... hold up, am I getting dramatic at an app notification??

So I'm thinking that's a sign I probably should change routes now. :D (And block the notifications.) I just don't have a particular route I really want to start at the moment, so I must ponder. I am leaning towards avoiding Nokto, mostly because I Strongly. Dislike. Suitors. Getting all up in my MC's space, and I just have A Bad Feeling About This (TM) when it comes to him.

That still leaves:

Jin "I like the tiddies so much I got my own set" Grandet, either route

Leon, who is definitely a Good Guy but his armor looks too loose somehow, round 2

The actual Muffin Man, Yves*, round 2

Licht, who I understand has some Srs Probbems, either route

Luke "Eh" Randolph, who seems eh in turn?, either route

Or heck, I could just ride the roller coaster of bad decisions made with the best of intentions again. You do you in every route and event, Clavis, and I appreciate that. You do you.

*it is only thanks to this game that I know "Yves" is pronounced "eve." Not all "Yeh-ves" weird like I'd been saying it FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE. Thanks, otome! The more you know.

** I did not know anyone named Yves, so I never heard the name said out loud and just ... well, I'm gonna pronounce all the letters I see written unless someone tells me otherwise. That's how my brain rolls.

[skoulsons]

hey yeah it’s me still freaking out over ep4 and the one thing no one else probably care about because I am ill for these idiots. spoilers

first off. I love baylan so much and I know I said it earlier but I do. He’s SO cool and SO high up on a favorite SW character list

but the one scene that still has me is on seatos when the whole gang is together. I posted earlier about ahsoka throwing shin into the wall and then baylan losing it

But what came AFTER that when Sabine gave baylan the map back and then shin came in and started force choking sabine

Baylan kept true to his word. He’d take sabine with them. But obviously shin wasn’t really awake for that whole ordeal, so she immediately goes to protect her master

But what is getting me on an astronomical level is the way baylan says “shin, release her” and shin doesn’t and then all it takes is another “shin.” for her to stop

The second “shin” isn’t even antagonizing or loud or deep and annoyed. It’s a soft, almost a “trust me” tone. yes im short circuiting and blue screening

It’s also, and this is not the Rot talking, the dad way of getting your child to stop doing something. You ask them to stop and they don’t, so you say their name again by itself and then they do. That’s how it always goes

But MOOOORE THAN THAT, it’s calling her by her name. It’s the first time we hear either of them refer to the other by their first time. Now yes, I know, masters calling their padawans their name is super normal. They don’t call them “padawan” like padawans call their masters “master”. And it’s not like shin is gonna go “hey, baylan” to him

I was talking to some friends about this earlier today with Prospect and with Ezra calling Cee “Cee” instead of birdie, little bird, girl, or whatever else. It feels more special, almost, when it’s her first name

Yes I’m absolutely grasping at straws because im Addicted TM to the trope and yes baylan and shin are different than them but. im just crying ok and im needing to Rot over my new favorite people

[fantomette22]

(Do not respond if it makes you uncomfy, reading is enough) I am late for the party but IMO it is really hypocritical when people say you can't ship ghrmria if traditionally mourning dolls were made for children and then turn around and ship mria with a woman who addresses her as her superior and is a victim of nasty experiments mria is covering up. Everyone only bothers with nuance instead of just letting people enjoy things when it is the ship they dislike.

Hello anon! Ah I know what post you read hehe (it resume really well the situation!) Thanks for the support as well ! Some people (one person in that case, can really be hypocrite yes).

I want to talk about this. I mean it's been a part of the harassment I got but you understand I don't wanna scream it out loud everything either. I don't wanna discuss some stuff publicly either so I will keep it to the essential. And well I hope I won't get bother bc of this again. (putting the rest undercut it's a big long sorry 😅)

Alright so I never actually show the ask in question I got. Only in dm to some mutuals & friends. Idk if I should share it publicly so if you want just ask me privately there's no problem I will show it. I got tons of other dumb things too but I won't share them publicly. I'm not playing that game. I'm not answering to hate with hate.

Basically, like you read before the person "ask me" more details on my view on their relationship if I think the Doll is a mourning doll (that parents made for their children) (see my essay/analysis I made a few months ago on the Doll. I will need to update it one day XD so this person might have read it). I mean yeah I think she's similar/have a similar purpose as a mourning doll but she's special. She's not your typically victorian child morning doll TM. Then, they wanted to know more about my different interprets, AUs etc

Love when people disagree bc they don’t like you but then agree with people they like who said the same thing as you… genuine evolution ? Hm…

For real I would love to talk about my many interpretations /stories about this 2 characters (with multiple interprets contradicting each others) but I want a genuine question from someone I know / someone I can put a name one. (even sending the ask on anon but telling in dm who is it is ok too! 👍)

Not someone hiding being anon and with vicious intend. Not someone who's stalking my blog (not a follower), previously (and after) fake approval of my ship content* and harassed me repetitiously for weeks if not months because I interact some times to times with someone they don't like.

*before that I got a "backhanded fake approval" over some drawings I did. Telling me "oh it's cute and all. You're doing it the right way" but then twisting it in a disgusting way with some awful sexist comments... trying to pass the fans of the pairing (and myself?) for bad people I guess? I did answer to it but call them out a bit too. It's on private now. I might have a link somewhere (because well I did spend some times writing cool ideas I want to keep for later)

At first I wasn't sure it was the same person (the fake approval, thoughts about the morning dolls and the harassing asks). But I had doubt so I never answer it. I'm glad I did because surprise ! IT WAS THE SAME PERSON all along ! (when I block ip address it was all deleted) Like wow harassing me, trolling me and trying to fake a genuine question before harassing me more? wow people are sure fascinating. (I really want do believe in you bud ! hope you become a better person !)

I took some precautions as well after all of this. That would be a shame to go private or disable anon ask for 1 bad behaved person. I hope it will be alright now and that I won't get bother anymore.

So about the other ship you mention... at first I was positive toward it but because of a few persons well I tend to be way neutral towards it now (and it's still the main thing in a minor AU of mine lol). Personally, I think, because of my view of Blood.borne world, the healing church, the research hall... that after the experiments began on her it doesn't really work/make sense for me anymore... But I won't go bother people who imagine/interpret a softer version just to be happy and have fun ! got for it guys!

But for real the wort ship experience I had so far was in Kingdom H/earts fandom XD (love this series too) imagined you follow smn cool (twi.tter) and they indirectly punch you? "oh I know the difference between who's a friend and not if you ship characters a&b or not" 💀 like wtf sure you prefer them being friends but don't insult people liking the paring ? specially when there's clues about it idk??

I feel it's more a problem of respecting other people (& their thoughts) than proving they're not canon/ accurate or not. it's not even analysis against facts it's just how I think your ideas (and you) sucks because it's my ideas are not the same.

It’s impossible to 100% agree with everyone about everything. But if it’s not hurting anyone/ dangerous ideas just minimum respect pls. That already hurt enough people throw history and still today (but well the internet..)

I would love to talk more about the characters I love really but all this is making me exhaust mentally. Even when people are nice and calm about it I'm still concerned smn is gonna understand things wrong and just decide to go bother instead of just ignoring it.

[husbandhoshi]

ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLRIGHTY.......it is time....we cheered! i am so ready to tuck into this like a delicious meal <3 liveblogging under the cut :')

You’re sitting in the bathroom, staring at the uneven paint where the tiles meet the wall, wondering if you could ever manage to crawl into one of the cracks there and disappear forever....It’s hard to focus on one thing when it feels like the whole world is happening at once without you in it.

see i feel like we have already started off so strong. i feel like whenever /i/ write long introspective sections it feels like it drags but this is so perfect. i had to do the ole english essay ellipses to cut the passage but the whole stretch was so evocative without being lengthy.

The hot tears suddenly feel ice cold against your burning skin, and exhaustion crashes down on you. The sink is dripping again.

You’ll have to get it fixed.

Everything.

this is so real. i think it's so hard to write like. Mental Illness tm or at least like. raw moments and make it seem Not Corny slash stereotypical but this is perfect.

Vernon knows your coffee and takeout orders by heart, and you do his. Even if he’s a worse texter than talker, you still very much enjoy his company, and mostly the ability to exist together in comfortable silence.

this and the paragraphs before this are i think the perfect characterization of vernon. spot on. esp the hum in response like truly my man is Not nosy whatsoever.

He could see even during class how out of it you were, certainly he could, but he didn’t want to bring up something you were not comfortable sharing on your own. So all he did was slide a lone earphone over, and put on a playlist he made for you. Of course, he would never tell you that - or anyone for that matter.

okay see like sometimes POV switches are corny and gratuitous but i feel like this was so smoothly done and provides a bit of extra characterization to help inform the rest of the fic. i think it's also really interesting to see how different vernon's thoughts and actions are versus yn's...where yn wears their emotions on their sleeve and vernon is kind of a mask. like it's an interesting dichotomy.

You are his first love, even if he would never admit it to anyone, not even himself.

nothing to say here i was just gagged. i also said THREE YEARS? out loud. oh my god we are really in this.

That night you fall asleep wondering what it’d be like to hold Vernon’s hands on a 2am walk. You dream about your kitchen window being gone.

the prose here is so yummy. the cadence of this paragraph especially. Yes...

He helps the girl lay down, and she mumbles something similar to a “don’t go, you’re so cute”, which Vernon decides to ignore, and turns her on her side instead - just in case she gets sick.

BASED and woke public health king

You find yourself spending more and more nights in the kitchen, the quiet hum of the fridge and lone passersby keeping you company as you watch the world go by. It was peaceful in a terrible way, one which you were sure was no good for you.

OK IM SEEING THE THEMES.... i also love how you write little snippets of everyday life and make them seem so romantic..so lived in and wonderful even tho they're just typical things. you know.

not gnna paste in the text messages but just know that vernon using punctuation??? Something is Cooking. also him taking the initiative to ask yn to build a snowman is really sweet knowing that he is typically not the type to initiate things.

You move your gaze towards him, and suddenly his face is way too close...You swallow nervously and your eyes flicker to his lips.

this passage made me bite my fist..the way u so easily transition from the introspective moments to dialogue to fluff...... also didn't want to grab the ENTIRE convenience store section but i love how the midnight connections tm have become a staple of your fic. i think it's a perfect little bite of the liminal in-between moments. the things people want to say and can't. things you think will be forgotten by the morning. you know. also loving how reserved vernon is w his friends and then him lighting up when he's w yn it rlly is so sweet to see :( and the added detail that he is tired as shit but will still make time for them.

Once you say your goodbyes you slowly make your way home, walking past the half finished snowman.

yn is so earnest and that's one of my favorite things abt them. like this is such a cute gesture. esp because like they weren't that eager to leave the house in the first place but the sheer Wonderfulness of the moment drives them to be a little whimsical when that would have been so out of character for them earlier...character development.

He dreams about the feeling of your lips on his.

ok the callback to the dreams...honestly like its the perfect throwback to the earlier part but also adds sooo much to the thematic/atmospheric cohesion here. also i screamed

Being alone feels suffocating, even though you’re the one who turned Vernon down once again. It’s been weird seeing him around at school, only being able to think about how pretty he looks under cheap neon lights. He doesn’t make much of an effort to reach out either.

this is actually so real. i'm learning a lot from the way u write fic and i think this part is so simply but well said. like what characters do dont HAVE to make sense. sometimes feelings are complicated and we do things we dont want to do and say things we dont want to say etc etc.

“I’m getting kind of hungry,” she pouts at him, and he feels like this is his chance to get out.

“I know just the place.”

WELCOME HOME CHEATER also im not grabbing anything from this next section bc it would be too long but like.. oh nawurrr.... not them connecting and then disconnecting and then falling into other people.... also re: the POV shift thing i actually think it has become such a wonderful little utility here. like i see the vision now. yes this is ab yn but it's also about VERNON and his emotional constipation and his self sabotage. and how HE weathers the seasons. THE MISSED CALL AND TEXT MESSAGE???? killing myself and then killing myself again............ OK SHONDA RHIMES..

You still dream about draping your scarf around Vernon, late night grocery runs, a kitchen window that’s brighter and doesn’t make you feel like the shell of who you used to be.

nothing to say here except chefs kiss of a sentence. the window callback is another chefs kiss and i think the motif is so fitting bc in a way they both feel like outsiders looking in....starting to see why this is called parallels and almosts ... (sorry i am slow.)

“How’s Seohyun?” You take a step back, and Vernon visibly gulps. Somehow he just knows that you’ve been talking to Seungkwan.

um i gasped aloud........... season finale type beat. also like i'm no vernon shooter but yn getting mad at vernon when they Also were Talking to seungkwan OK emoji .

Vernon feels like a stranger and your dearest friend at the same time. Sometimes when you look at him too much you go back to the night where things still felt okay and you wonder if he ever thinks about it - about how badly you wanted to hold his hands, kiss him still lying in the snow.

this makes my tummy hurt because i think you encapsulated the feeling of time passing so well. like its only been 10k words but i feel like there is actual history there even tho there was only one scene where they really bonded... you know. like their past feels so storied to me.

“Maybe.”

“Oh you’re one to talk, like you’d ever tell me any of it!”

see like i think this is such a masterful way of tying it together.. like yeah. they both SUCKED at communication. PARALLELS AND ALMOSTS.

nothing to say ab the next section (Maybe you've already fallen hard...You wake up crying at 2 AM) except that i think it's one of my fave sections of Prose in this.

Almost on instinct you lean your head on Vernon’s shoulder, and you feel his arm circling your waist and squeezing gently, his head coming to rest on top of yours.

literally my eyes opened so wide. we Going situationship?????????????? i think the dream thing that you have going on is especially potent here bc it really feels like we Have vernon and then we don't. and then it repeats.

“There’s gonna be a party tonight,” he turns to you suddenly. “I want you to come.”

FULL CIRCLE...fly hands....

OK the ending. OMG. the kiss scene was sweet and not corny. and the way you transformed the space when vernon moves in... like the idea of Home and Space and feeling Trapped the whole fic has i think is so lovely. i think there is a very tactile way you described things here and so it feels lived in and natural. like you dont have to SAY how yn is feeling as explicitly because you can SEE it in the way the space changes around them. and then the callback at the end is really sweet :')

overall i think this was such an enjoyable read!! you continue to be the master of atmospheric fic. like it really sucks you in and i think you describe yn so fully that it's hard to not empathize w them even if you don't really relate to the things happening in their life. and i think there is such a simplicity to the setting and the plot points that you can really Sit in the feelings that the characters are feeling. i think the next strongest bit of this was the parallels theme!! i loved seeing how the sections echoed each other and how the imagery/environments reflected the progression of the characters and plot.

tldr i loved it and i will never Not sing your praises as a writer!!!

parallels & almosts

♡ pairing: vernon x reader

♡ genre: friends to lovers, light angst

♡ word count: 10k

♡ warnings: slight description of panic attacks, alcohol consumption, slow burn-ish lol, occasional cursing, a little sad bc i wrote it in winter, yearning

a/n: i wrote this last christmas inspired by my first sem at uni, and finally got around to proofreading :) hope you like it, and if you have any thoughts about it id love to know &lt;3

masterlist

♡ ♡ ♡

One day you’ll inevitably fall for someone. Someone, who will touch you for the first time like no one ever did before, and maybe no one ever will again. Full of love, admiration, and tenderness. Your chest is going to fill with pain and unending yearning, a fleeting moment that’s going to feel like nothing and everything whenever you think about it. And you’ll fall hard, hard enough that if any of it was real it might break your body in unspeakable ways.

When you wake up the next day you realise you’ll never love anyone as much as this, not in this lifetime.

Then it’s over.

You’re sitting in the bathroom, staring at the uneven paint where the tiles meet the wall, wondering if you could ever manage to crawl into one of the cracks there and disappear forever. No clichéd metaphor seems fitting enough, even though you understand you are not the first, and you won’t be the last either, to experience heartbreak quite like this. Something that squishes your heart until it feels numb, catches in your throat in a way that you can’t even find the words to explain the pain, a constant gloss over your eyes, like tears you can’t blink away.

Your upstairs neighbour is just a little too loud, the static of the tv humming just a little too much, drunk people screaming outside just a little too close, and it all feels so overbearing. You close your eyes, skin buzzing with all the loudness of the inside and outside combined. It’s hard to focus on one thing when it feels like the whole world is happening at once without you in it.

Then the phone rings.

The world stops, but your breathing quickens as panic takes over. It’s all so much in a way that seems impossible to deal with. At least for now, in this passing moment, even if it feels like an eternity. The ringing gets more and more deafening, your breaths quickening, and you know it won’t stop. It never really does. The cacophony of sounds slowly fades out, the only thing you can hear is your own body; your heartbeat, your own breaths, tired gasps for air. It’s okay. You claw at your skin, anything to distract yourself from the ongoing panic attack, even if you know it won’t help. It never does.

It’s okay.

Tears burn the corners of your eyes, even though you don’t know how long you’ve been crying. The world is slowly closing in, and it’s just you on the cold bathroom floor at 2am.

Is it okay?

It’s silent. So suddenly and so loudly, it almost knocks the air back into your lungs, as if the ground is being pulled from underneath your feet. The hot tears suddenly feel ice cold against your burning skin, and exhaustion crashes down on you. The sink is dripping again.

You’ll have to get it fixed.

Everything.

It’s a slow process to drag yourself from the bathroom to bed. The rain knocks politely on the window and you’re tempted to let it in, but instead just stare out into the cold night. The snow is slowly melting away, and you wish it washed away all the thoughts plaguing your mind too. It’s never that easy, you’ve always found it hard to let go of routines. The habit of waking up, turning over to give him a kiss, making coffee together. You don’t even like coffee that much, but for him you would’ve learned to love anything. For him, you even learned to love him. With all the pain and hurt. 

Despite him, you loved him.

It’s all gone, and it’s okay.

-

“You didn’t pick up all weekend,” Vernon says in his usual nonchalant tone without as much as looking in your direction.

After you finally managed to calm down, sleep seemed much more inviting than looking at your phone. The next few days felt so peaceful in isolation, that it wouldn’t have been right to disturb it.

“Sorry.”

He only hums in response, quietly scribbling away in his notebook next to you. His hair is hidden behind one of his many beanies, one earphone in his ear, the other one between the two of you on the desk as a silent offering from his part. It’s the middle of the lecture, but you wordlessly take it anyway, knowing well that you won’t pay attention today no matter what.

Vernon is hard to read, even if you’ve been friends for a few years now. He mostly keeps to himself, barely showing if something is going on in his life. He occasionally lets you in on the big things, like when his sister graduated high school, or when his family got a new cat. You weren’t completely sure if he shared these things with you out of common courtesy - you were glad when he did anyway. He was a little more curious and attentive when you told him about something, but never asked on his own.

Vernon knows your coffee and takeout orders by heart, and you do his. Even if he’s a worse texter than talker, you still very much enjoy his company, and mostly the ability to exist together in comfortable silence.

You get lost in thought, only coming back to reality when your favourite song quietly starts playing in your ear. Vernon is putting his phone back down, giving you a small smile before returning to the paper in front of him. His eyes twinkle in the cheap fluorescent light of the lecture hall, and even if the thought makes your chest feel tight, he does look beautiful even at 9am on a Monday.

He furrows his eyebrows, tapping his pen against the desk to the beat of the music. You rest your head on top of your barely started notes, glancing at Vernon from the corner of your eye before getting lost in thought for the rest of the lecture. You only notice that it’s over when the boy next to you is already leaving, gently tapping your shoulder and giving you a small wave  before walking off into the cold fog of the morning. The professor starts turning the lights off, and you scurry to gather your belongings, making your way to the exit. Suddenly you hear music in your ear once again, and you realise you forgot to give Vernon his earphones back.

However, music means he’s near, so you try and remember which way he went, and spot him a few benches over in front of the building. He’s standing in a lopsided circle with his friends, their laughter visible in the crisp air. You shuffle over to the group, standing a little awkwardly next to Vernon, who’s too invested in whatever conversation they’re having to notice your arrival. One of the boys spots you, and you give him a brief smile before deciding to finally tap Vernon’s shoulder. He quickly turns to you, the corners of his lips quirking up just enough for you to notice. You don’t want to overstay your welcome, so you quickly take the earphone and hand it back to him. His mouth turns into an O shape, and you can feel your cheeks warming up, so you look back down at your palm to avoid staring at his face even longer. He takes it from your hand, his cold fingers igniting fire in their wake. His eyes search for yours, and as soon as they meet you feel a little wobbly, a little warm, and a lot vulnerable.

You only decided on attending any classes you had that day to avoid sitting at home even longer, stewing in your own sadness and tears. When sitting in your bed that morning you felt as if you’d be okay, as if you’ll be able to get through all this without anyone knowing or noticing. As Vernon’s eyes bore into yours, you just knew that he could see everything. You were never sure how close he considered you, and you were always too scared to assume that you are close in the first place.

Your knees feel like they’re about to give out, so you shake your head a little, trying to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks behind your scarf. 

“There’s gonna be a party later tonight, if you uh- If you wanna come,” Vernon tells you.

“It’s Monday,” it almost comes out as a question, eliciting a laugh from the boy.

“I’ll text you the address later, in case you change your mind. I’ll be there.”

His smile always makes everything a little easier, so you nod and turn to leave. For a second he looks like he might say something else, a concerned look on his face, but he fades back into the conversation instead.

As soon as you’re out of earshot Vernon’s got multiple curious eyes on him, waiting for some sort of an explanation. They all know you to some degree of course, but they haven’t seen their friend like this in quite some time.

“Dude,” Seungkwan is the first one to voice his thoughts.

“What?”

“Did we miss something?'' His tone is enough to make Vernon’s eyes widen. “Just a heads up, I’m gonna keep an eye on you tonight. And I’m gonna be updating the group chat constantly, too.”

A round of laughter and general agreement follows Seungkwan’s statement, and though Vernon loves his friends, he has to admit that they can be too much sometimes. Even if he considers himself a private person, he does still keep them up to date most of the time, except at times like this. At times when not only his feelings are concerned.

He could see even during class how out of it you were, certainly he could, but he didn’t want to bring up something you were not comfortable sharing on your own. So all he did was slide a lone earphone over, and put on a playlist he made for you. Of course, he would never tell you that - or anyone for that matter. His feelings and his playlist were kept as his most treasured secrets, even if they’re only meaningful to him. He would be lying to himself if he tried to deny the crush he’s been nursing on you since you met in your first Monday morning class, sitting in the same spot as today. He immediately memorised your name during the quick introduction game the professor insisted on, making use of it as much as he could during class, and right after, too. Grabbing coffee seemed like the logical choice at the time, texting all his friends for recommendations as soon as he could. Once class was over he made his move, striking up conversation with you, albeit a little awkwardly. Surprisingly even to him, you agreed, and shortly after you found yourselves at a small café just off campus. The impromptu hangout felt almost too comfortable for it to be your first time meeting, and Vernon couldn’t think about the way you laughed at his terrible jokes without getting butterflies in his stomach, not even years later.

He later had to face the fact that you’re taken, and even if it broke his heart a little, he enjoyed your company a lot more than for something like this to keep him from you. So here you are, almost 3 years later, still looking at each other with the same unmistakable tenderness that only you two seem to ignore. Always smiling brighter, laughing louder, and whispering even more quietly when the other is around.

You are his first love, even if he would never admit it to anyone, not even himself.

- 

The dim orange street light illuminates the kitchen in a way that squeezes your soul just a little too tight, making you feel nostalgic for things that maybe never really happened. Snowflakes land on the window and melt away slowly, racing down the glass. Lately it only snows at night, so you decide to stay up late, the party Vernon invited you to long forgotten.

Tonight it’s a little different somehow. The air feels heavier than usual, and the streets are fully empty, which is an exceptionally rare sight this close to campus. You open the window, and climb up to sit on the sill, dangling your feet into the night. The crippling pressure on your chest doesn’t seem to cease, and you wish to be able to cry and scream, let it all out while it’s dark and quiet.

In the distance you spot a figure slowly treading through the snow, dressed in all black with their hands in their pockets. Their steps are completely silent except for the occasional crunch of the fresh snow. The knowledge that someone else is just this restless at the same time as you brings an odd sense of peace. Wordless company on such a lonely night.

For a fleeting moment you feel like everything’s going to be okay.

That night you fall asleep wondering what it’d be like to hold Vernon’s hands on a 2am walk. You dream about your kitchen window being gone.

-

Vernon waits for you patiently at the party that night, checking his phone way too often to make sure he doesn’t miss any of your calls or texts. A few drinks and too much teasing from his friends later he’s already getting ready to leave when some girl sidles up to him, giggling drunkenly right into his face. He remembers her from one of his classes, but not her name, and he doesn’t bother asking either.

“Heeey,” the girl chimes. “Are you uh- are you here uh- alone?” She stumbles a little, both with her words and her steps.

Vernon hesitates, but nods anyway.

“Really? So am I, that’s uh-” Vernon gets nervous that the girl might end up ruining his shoes. “That’s so cool. Wanna, do you wanna-”

She closes her eyes for a second and blindly reaches out for something to steady herself, so he grabs her arms on instinct.

“Are you okay?”

“You’re sooo cute, come with me, please?” She tries to pout at Vernon, but it comes out as almost every other emotion instead.

He shuffles through his choices mentally, deciding to make his way back into the living room with the girl clinging to him for dear life. The mind numbing music makes him wince a little, and he makes his way upstairs as fast as possible to get away from the hardcore party scene, not really in the mood for the smell of sweat and alcohol combined with the loudest room he could imagine in this moment. He manages to find an empty room on the third try, having seen a lot more naked people than he’s comfortable with in the span of the past few minutes.

He helps the girl lay down, and she mumbles something similar to a “don’t go, you’re so cute”, which Vernon decides to ignore, and turns her on her side instead - just in case she gets sick. He quickly makes his leave, and he can hear retching from the other side of the closed door as soon as he’s outside. It makes him wanna leave as soon as possible, so he does just that, bidding bye to some of his friends before vanishing into the dark. He’s never been so happy about silence before.

The night is tranquil, even his own footsteps barely audible as he makes his way home. When he hears rustling he looks around to find the source, finding someone climbing into the windowsill in a nearby building. He gets worried, immediately wondering if he should call someone, or maybe yell out to the stranger to stop, the 5th floor is a long way from the ground, it’s not worth it. He decides against it when he sees the stranger quietly settle down, but watches for a bit longer anyway before deciding to continue his journey. 

That night he falls asleep wondering if he should’ve texted you, if you’re even okay.

He dreams about the stranger falling from the window in slow motion, and wakes up in cold sweat before they could hit the ground.

-

You find yourself spending more and more nights in the kitchen, the quiet hum of the fridge and lone passersby keeping you company as you watch the world go by. It was peaceful in a terrible way, one which you were sure was no good for you. That window became your survival, even if it made your chest ache with the sights it presented occasionally. Some nights were different. Some nights your phone buzzed to life with a new text from Vernon, asking about your day or just trying to make conversation. With how unavailable you made yourself he suddenly became better at texting than talking. You had to admit that it always made you a little sad when you didn’t receive his almost routinely ‘hey :)’ just a little past midnight. You always started by scowling him for being up late again, to which he responded by telling you the same.

It’s around 1am when your phone almost buzzes off the countertop.

Vernon: hey :)

Vernon: its finally snowing!!

You didn’t have the heart to tell him that the snowfall at night has been almost the only constant in your life lately.

Vernon: where r u???

Vernon: i know ur up we’re gonna go build a snowman

Vernon: dress warm!!

You’re about to force yourself to lie and turn him down, but something snaps inside of you and you find yourself asking for a location before hurriedly pulling on some warmer clothes. To your surprise he asks to meet in the park about a block from your complex, so you make your way over, waiting a few minutes for Vernon to arrive too.

He greets you with a warm smile, barely half his face visible from his beanie and scarf, his hands tucked deep in his pockets.

“Why are you even up this late?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“My roommates threw a party,” he closes his eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh, his breath drawing the prettiest shapes in the crisp air. “But I could be asking the same.”

“You could, but don’t,” he laughs at your response. “It’s really fucking cold tonight though, so let’s hurry up with that snowman.”

He grins at you and gently bumps his elbow into yours as you set off to find a good patch of snow. It starts out mellow, rolling snowballs around until you get to a size you’re happy with. However, Vernon gets bored quickly and decides to start targeting you with his snowballs instead. The park is quickly filled with your laughter and screaming, chasing each other around until you’re both too tired to run anymore. He flops down into the snow onto his back, sprawling all his limbs out. He’s still laughing quietly, interrupting himself with a scream when you throw one last snowball at his chest, half of the snow ending up in his face as it falls apart on impact. Your eyes widen as he jumps to his feet, an excited squeal leaving your lips when he sets off running in your direction. You try to make your escape, but of course he’s quicker and tackles you to the ground almost immediately. You both end up on your backs, your heads almost touching and the quiet night comes to life as you burst out in giggles almost in perfect harmony. 

“I think there’s a convenience store a few blocks away,” Vernon says once he’s calmed down enough to talk, and turns his head towards you.

“You hungry?” You move your gaze towards him, and suddenly his face is way too close - you could count his eyelashes or maybe get lost in his eyes forever. For a brief second it’s silent except for the pounding of your heart that you’re sure even he can hear.

“Yeah,” he whispers in response, not breaking eye contact. You swallow nervously and your eyes flicker to his lips. “I- Let’s go.”

“Okay,” you breathe out. Neither of you move.

You feel like even the world stops moving for a second, out of politeness, to give you time to think about what to do. You wonder what you’re so scared of, what is it about him that makes your brain short circuit with a single look. The thought of ruining your friendship with Vernon climbs to the front of your mind and suddenly it’s all you can think about. Your body moves on its own as you finally get up, dusting your clothes off and reaching down to help Vernon up. He stares at you dumbfounded, but takes your hand anyway and stands in front you in silence, watching you chew anxiously on your lower lip. Even if he doesn’t know all that’s been bothering you the past few weeks, he can clearly see that something isn’t quite right.

Suddenly you find himself in his embrace, his head squished to yours and his fingers tangled in the back of your coat. He holds you like this for a bit, playfully ruffling your hair when he finally pulls away.

“There’s nothing convenience store ramen can’t fix,” he says, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Especially since you’re paying,” you grin at him, and he only laughs at you, shaking his head a little. You never want this night to end.

The walk is quick and goes by in comfortable silence, only stealing glances at each other occasionally. You’re sitting under the flickering neon sign of the store, waiting for your ramen to finish cooking, Vernon almost falling asleep over his food. You offer him your couch for the night, but he politely declines, since surely the party must be over by now. You give him a small nod, poking away impatiently at your noodles, deciding to dig in whether it’s done or not, too hungry and tired to care. The clock above the cashier reads a little past 4am. 

With your stomachs full you’re standing outside the shop, mesmerised by the way the green neon highlights Vernon’s face. Even like this, he looks tired and almost a little sad. Your thoughts wander to how little he has said since you left the park, and it leaves a weird taste in your mouth.

“Thank you.” You spot the perplexed look in his eyes. “For tonight. It was… nice. So, thank you.”

He has way too much to say and way too little consciousness left in him for the night. He tries to string his thoughts together in an order so that they make sense, but the lack of sleep takes over and he only manages a tired smile. He can see something in your eyes that’s new to him, but he decides to save that conversation for another time.

Once you say your goodbyes you slowly make your way home, walking past the half finished snowman. Once you reach the other end of the park you let out a sigh and turn around. You pull your freezing hands from your pockets and get to work once again, rolling a head for the snowman and looking around for some twigs for the arms. You put on a few pebbles as decorations, a smile adorning the snowman’s face now. You take your phone and quickly snap a picture to send to Vernon, even though you’re sure he’s already fast asleep.

It’s past 5am once you get home, managing to fall asleep without tossing and turning for the first time in weeks. You don’t have a dream that night.

When Vernon stumbles through the front door he’s greeted by Seungkwan and Soonyoung watching some movie in the living room, probably half asleep as they don’t seem to notice his arrival. He takes off his shoes and coat, quietly moving towards his room when he hears a tired yawn from the couch. Seungkwan blinks at him sleepily, Vernon greeting him with a small wave that either goes unnoticed, or the boy really was asleep.

“You missed movie night,” Seungkwan croaks out. “What time is it anyways?”

“It’s really, really late. I just had to check on a friend.”

“A friend…” Seungkwan studies Vernon’s face. “You look like shit, dude.”

Vernon only looks back at him with a tired expression, letting out a low sigh before disappearing into his room. He flops down on his bed, not even bothering to change out of his clothes. He thinks back to your face so close to his, all the things he could’ve said and done. The moon peeks through his blinds, and he wonders if he kissed you would you have kissed him back.

He dreams about the feeling of your lips on his.

-

Vernon never replies to your finished snowman, and somehow it bothers you a lot more than it should. For the first time this winter the snow didn’t end up melting by the morning, and it’s even there covering the ground in a plush white layer a few days later.

It’s one of those nights again where the dark amplifies your loneliness, and you find yourself in the park again, sitting on a bench in front of your snowman. It’s leaning to the side a little, the daytime sun not taking mercy on it. You stare into its pebble eyes, your elbows resting on your knees and your chin in your palms - almost studying the little creature you made. You know it's going to melt and be gone in a few days, and the thought puts a frown on your face. You wish you never got attached to something so impermanent.

You check your phone for the time, but instead have to face a missed call and a message from Vernon. All it reads is “r u up?”, and you mentally cringe at the tinder-esque nature of his texting habits. You decide not to reply.

You get up to leave, but fix the snowman up before you do so, wrapping your scarf around its neck. You zip your coat up as high as possible and set off with silent steps. Being alone feels suffocating, even though you’re the one who turned Vernon down once again. It’s been weird seeing him around at school, only being able to think about how pretty he looks under cheap neon lights. He doesn’t make much of an effort to reach out either.

Later that week one of his friends invites you to some party he’s hosting, but you politely turn the offer down. You do end up buying a bottle of the cheapest grapefruit soju you can find that very same night, laying drunkenly on the floor and singing along to every song that comes on. You are glad that your phone is dead and you are too out of it to get up for the charger, because all you can think about is texting Vernon. It’s way past midnight when you finally feel well enough to get up, realising that you’ve been ignoring how hungry you are for the past few hours. The kitchen sounds like the worst place to be, so you get dressed and decide on the convenience store that Vernon showed you.

-

Vernon isn’t much for parties, but he realises that he’s in dire need of some socialisation, so when Mingyu invites him over he says yes without thinking. He regrets it just a little when he can hear the blaring music from outside the house, giving himself a mental pep talk before walking inside. He’s immediately met with a crowded room, barely able to squeeze past the swarm of sweaty bodies. Finding any of his friends seems impossible, but the kitchen is right on the other side of the living room, so he beelines there. He grabs a beer from the fridge, and almost jumps out of his skin when he closes the door to find someone standing right next to it, expectantly looking at him. The girl is familiar, but he can’t quite remember her.

“Hey,” she says with a shy smile. “I don’t think we’ve met, at least not when I’m sober.”

The memory suddenly hits him, and the look of realisation on his face makes the girl laugh. She does look different when she’s not about to throw up all over Vernon’s shoes and the floor.

“Oh yeah, that was… A night, for sure. Hi. I’m Vernon, by the way.”

He leans against the counter next to her and cracks his beer open. The girl reaches a free hand towards him, the other cradling a cup of something, and introduces herself as Seohyun. They make small talk for a while, both of them finishing their drinks before she asks Vernon if he wants to dance. He hesitates a little, but nods anyway, and she immediately grabs his hand with a giggle before pulling him into the crowd.

They dance like that, bodies pressed a little too close together, laughing over the music and singing along to every song they know. Vernon feels weird anyway, like something is missing, even if he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly.

He has no idea how long he’s been there when he finally spots Seungkwan in the kitchen, mixing multiple drinks at once. He excuses himself for a second from Seohyun and makes his way over to his friend to greet him. Seungkwan only nods at him, and the response puzzles Vernon.

“What?” Seungkwan asks when he notices Vernon silently staring at him.

“Nothing. Having fun?”

Once again, he only nods. Vernon furrows his eyebrows in confusion, but doesn’t press on, knowing fully well that Seungkwan will eventually tell him whatever is going on.

“Have you seen Mingyu?” Vernon shakes his head no and watches as Seungkwan somehow lifts all the cups at once and disappears out of sight without as much as a bye. He wonders if he should’ve stayed home to sleep instead.

He finds Seohyun on the couch, her head lazily thrown back and her eyes glistening in the dim light. She flashes a small smile when she spots Vernon, gesturing for him to sit down.

“I’m getting kind of hungry,” she pouts at him, and he feels like this is his chance to get out.

“I know just the place.”

-

You’re waiting for your ramen to finish cooking, sitting in the window of the convenience store with the neon lights lazily blinking down at you. Those 5 minutes feel like forever, but you’re not hungry enough to eat raw noodles.

The street in front of you is peaceful, even though there’s barely any snow left outside once again. You wonder how your snowman is doing. You wonder how Vernon is doing.

You look up at the clock above the cashier and notice that your food is finally done. Loud giggling grabs your attention from outside the store, and you wish you got more drunk so that you couldn’t be sitting here right now. Vernon’s eyes bore into your own through the glass, an unreadable expression on his face. The girl next to him is obviously lost as to what she’s witnessing, but doesn’t say anything. You quickly gather your belongings, grabbing your dinner too, before rushing out of the store. You glance at the boy one more time, and even though he’s clearly about to say something you rush off home. Tears blur your vision and leave burning trails along your face, but you just want to be home already.

Vernon is too stunned to move, only coming back to reality when he hears Seohyun’s voice.

“Who was that?”

“Just a friend.” A friend. “Let’s go eat.”

Seohyun beams at him, but he wishes he ran after you.

-

New Year’s Eve comes a lot quicker than you wish it did. Fireworks start going off way before midnight, and you can’t help but be annoyed. Maybe more sad than anything else, not really knowing how to feel excited about the new year. It used to be something you found exciting, but over the years it turned into peak isolation and anxiety season for you. Not out of choice, of course, life just happens sometimes.

You haven’t talked to Vernon at all since the convenience store. You haven’t really talked to anyone lately, except for a short call with your family to wish them happy holidays. You weren’t sure what went wrong, or where, but winter always brings a crippling feeling of cosmic insignificance into your life. Loneliness slowly turns into a black hole that absorbs all light and happiness in your life, and you find it harder and harder with each passing day to reach out. By the end of the year the light is barely a pinhole, and you’re sitting in the kitchen once again, watching the fireworks in silence.

-

Vernon can barely recognize their apartment after Seungkwan and Soonyoung are done with decorating, even less once it’s filled with music and all their friends. He doesn’t know most of them, but for one night he can find it in himself to be okay with this arrangement. His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he finds a text from Seohyun telling him that she’s outside. Vernon takes the elevator down to the first floor to let the girl in. He unlocks the door for her, and she hugs him with the brightest smile on her face. Guilt immediately floods Vernon’s chest, but he doesn’t want to back away now, after all he was the one who invited Seohyun to this party. They make their way up in silence and enter the bustling apartment, Seohyun finding Vernon’s hand quickly at the overwhelming sight.

It’s still a few hours until midnight and Vernon wonders why he ever thought this to be a good idea.

A few drinks and a lot more dancing later he already feels worn out. He’s almost a hundred percent sure that there’s people doing the worst thing imaginable in his room, and the thought alone makes him want to leave for the rest of the night. He’s way too close to actually ditching all his friends and his sort-of-date, when Seungkwan suddenly yells over the music and the crowd, telling everyone to get to the rooftop. Vernon’s never been so relieved to hear his friend yell. He lets the crowd go out first, Seohyun still by his side. They leave last, Vernon making sure to close the door behind them. He catches a mischievous glint in Seohyun’s eyes, and she challenges him to a race to the staircase at the other end of the building. He lets out a tired sigh, but the girl tugs on his arm - and possibly his heartstrings - in a way he can’t resist. So they run, giggling and being just a little too loud.

It’s only a few minutes until the new year when they finally join the others, out of breath and still laughing. He can see Seohyun’s lips moving, but can’t make out any of it over the noise of all other people present. Suddenly the cacophony turns into clear chanting, and he can faintly recognise Seungkwan who yells “ten” first. They join in to the countdown, fireworks already going off in the distance.

Three. Two. One.

The crowd erupts in cheers, fireworks going off all around them as they enter a new year. Seohyun looks up into Vernon’s eyes, getting on her tiptoes and gently grabbing the collar of his coat. It feels wrong, so wrong, to lead someone on like this, and somehow Vernon still decides to kiss her, his hands settling on her waist as their lips meet. She smiles into the kiss, one of her hands gently moving up to rest on his cheek.

“Happy new year,” Seohyun whispers, still out of breath, resting her forehead against Vernon’s. He doesn’t say it back.

His phone buzzes away on the kitchen counter, your name weakly flashing on the screen. The call disconnects, and the house falls into darkness, before lighting up once again, this time with a text.

“happy new year”

Then it’s dark again.

-

Soon the days start getting longer and you finally say goodbye to snowy nights. You still dream about draping your scarf around Vernon, late night grocery runs, a kitchen window that’s brighter and doesn’t make you feel like the shell of who you used to be.

However, sleep still doesn’t come easy, it never really did. You occasionally find yourself looking out the same window, the sight comforting you with its continuity. Sometimes all you have is the view and the sill where you dangle your feet into a reality where you don't feel so left behind by life.

Tonight is no different, a blanket over your shoulders as you watch over the city. The distant noise of buzzing life makes you feel at peace, and you’re about to crawl back inside when you hear someone yelling your name. The word almost sounds unfamiliar, not having heard it in a while. You look around for the source of the sound, finally spotting Vernon who blends into the night in his usual all black outfit.

“Hey,” he yells once again, and he continues before you can stop him. “Come down? Please?”

You quickly climb inside, Vernon’s voice drowned out by your heart hammering in your chest. You only put on some slippers as you run out of your apartment, fuzzy sucks on your feet and the same blanket still over your shoulder. The elevator ride seems to take forever, but you finally get down, finding Vernon right outside the building sitting on the stairs. He scrambles to his feet when he hears the door behind him open, staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face. Even though it’s dark, you can see he looks different somehow. Maybe more tired, maybe a little more sad.

“What are you doing here?” The question comes out almost as a whisper.

“I recognized your socks. That sounded a little weird, I’m sorry, I just… Haven’t seen you in a while.”

It’s true, you were focused on your exams and skipped most of your classes whenever you didn’t feel like leaving your apartment for the day. It’s also true that Vernon never called you back or replied to your text since new year’s. He couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eyes after kissing Seohyun, even though he told her everything a few days later. She was very understanding, albeit understandably sad, and they did find good friends in each other with Vernon after all that happened.

“Is that my scarf?” You step closer to him, gently touching the soft fabric.

“I found it in the park. I was gonna bring it back, but then things kind of… happened,” His voice is barely above a whisper and he looks a little too deep into your eyes.

“How’s Seohyun?” You take a step back, and Vernon visibly gulps. Somehow he just knows that you’ve been talking to Seungkwan.

“I think she’s got a girlfriend now, actually. How’s your boyfriend?”

You’re taken aback by his question, his words sharp and purposeful, making you wince. He doesn’t say anything else, holding your stare as if it was a challenge. You feel the tears welling in your eyes, but neither of you move.

“Happy with someone else.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You called me down for this? Really, Vernon?” You snap at him, unwinding the scarf from his neck, tears freely racing down your face and you almost miss the front door as you push it open.

“Fuck you,” you spit at him before slamming the door shut.

-

Monday morning classes roll around once again, and you find yourself in your usual spot in the lecture hall. For a few weeks you sit alone, Vernon vanishing out of your life along with winter. It’s not until spring finally arrives that a familiar head of messy hair is occupying the seat next to yours by the time you arrive. You quietly settle into your chair, choosing to look everywhere except for the boy next to you. There’s still time until class starts, and you consider leaving to avoid whatever is about to happen, but Vernon is quicker, sliding a lone earphone in front of you on the desk. He patiently waits for you to pick it up and place it in your ear, one of your favourite songs already softly playing. He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the class, doodling away in his notebook as usual, and it feels like winter again. When class is over Vernon hurries to leave, but you proceed to stop him in his tracks to give him the earphone back. He almost looks disappointed.

For a moment it’s only the two of you, getting lost in each other’s eyes and wondering when things turned like this, so distant and unfamiliar.

“Wanna go grab some coffee?” Vernon asks suddenly, even though he sounds a little unsure himself. It all feels like the first Monday you met.

The walk is quiet, but not in the comfortable way you’re used to. He still knows your order by heart, and somehow it just makes your chest feel even more tight. Vernon feels like a stranger and your dearest friend at the same time. Sometimes when you look at him too much you go back to the night where things still felt okay and you wonder if he ever thinks about it - about how badly you wanted to hold his hands, kiss him still lying in the snow.

“Your face is gonna stay like that if you frown so much,” he says nonchalantly as he hands you a to-go paper cup.

“I wish,” your words make him snort into his drink as he’s about to take a sip, and it makes you smile too.

You let Vernon lead the way through the neighbourhood, making small talk about all the things you missed in each other’s lives, although you don’t have much to offer having mostly sat at home. You end up on a park bench next to a small lake, and you watch as the ducks peacefully swim along. You wonder if the water isn’t still too cold for them. Vernon is still fiddling with his cup, almost looking somewhat nervous. 

“I missed you,” he says quietly.

“You could’ve texted me.” He doesn’t reply. You do your best not to raise your voice. “At least say something now.”

“What the fuck do you want me to say? Confess my undying love for you? Tell you how I think about you every single day? How guilty I feel that I can’t even bring myself to look you in the eyes?” He’s looking for something, anything in your eyes, but you’re too angry to give it to him that easily.

“Maybe.”

“Oh you’re one to talk, like you’d ever tell me any of it!”

Vernon lets out a frustrated sigh, squeezing the cup in his hands until it buckles. His words fill your head, then your whole body, and you feel like your whole being is vibrating and slowly vanishing at the edges.

Maybe you’ve already fallen hard, hard enough that it did break your body in unspeakable ways. You get up to leave, barely standing on shaky legs, not completely aware of your surroundings. The ringing in your ears gets louder and the air feels a little too thick and the sink is dripping again, and you know you’ll have to get it fixed.

Cold hands come to rest on your face, Vernon’s forehead against yours and you wonder if love is supposed to hurt like this. You close your eyes, the snow is falling and your snowman is smiling at you warmly, your scarf around its neck. A teardrop rolls down your face and you open your eyes slowly.

“Are you okay?”

“Kiss me.”

A sad smile appears on his lips, his hands moving from your face and he wraps his arm around you instead, tucking your face into his neck.

“I promise I will,” He pulls away just enough to see your face. “Another time.”

Your head is still buzzing as he walks you home, gently holding your hand, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. You’re reluctant to let go when you reach your building, and your hesitation draws a faint smile on Vernon’s face.

He leaves a kiss on your forehead before saying bye.

That night you dream about being a duck, floating on glimmering ponds in the early spring sunset. You wake up crying at 2am.

-

You’re on your way home after a late night grocery run when your phone starts vibrating in your pocket. Vernon’s incoming call confuses you at such an odd hour, but you pick it up anyway. It’s loud on the other end of the line, loud music and even louder screaming drowning out Vernon’s voice almost completely.

“Where are you?” He yells into the phone.

“Out. Why?” You’re not sure if he’s sober.

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, then suddenly it’s entirely quiet. You check if he’s ended the call. A loud bang reassures you that he’s still there.

“Someone’s having the worst sex I’ve ever witnessed right in my room. Are you free?” The distress in his voice makes you laugh, and you can imagine the frown on his face too well.

“You can come over if you want to, I’ll be home in a bit.”

He doesn’t need much convincing, so you hang up to finally focus on your groceries, grabbing a few extra drinks and snacks for your sudden guest. He’s sitting on the stairs in front of the building when you get home, listening to music that you can faintly make out from his headphones. He notices you as you halt to a stop right in front of him, a tired look on his face as he looks up at you. He smiles at you still and you can’t help but return the gesture.

You blindly reach into your bag, shuffling around for a can of cola that you bought for him. Your fingers finally wrap around the cold metal, and you hand the drink to Vernon, taking another one out for yourself. You take a seat on the stairs next to him, your knees slightly touching - he doesn’t move, so you don’t, either. The wind quietly shakes the barely-there leaves on the trees, and it moves something within you, too.

“I thought you like parties,” you tease him.

“You don’t know what I saw there. Consider yourself lucky, honestly.”

“I mean, you’re lucky that I’m nice enough to offer you my couch for the night.” He scoffs in response, and bumps his knee into yours.

You wonder if Vernon only exists on Mondays and at night.

His profile is sharp and soft at the same time in the flickering, orange light blinking at you from a nearby street lamp. He seems lost in thought and you don’t have it in yourself to bother him right now, not when everything feels so at peace for once. A few faint stars twinkle in the sky, and the moon looks as full as your heart feels. Spring always knew how to take your troubles away - it even happened a little too easily, the ice around your heart melting with the first golden rays of sunshine. 

You know you’re going to be okay.

Almost on instinct you lean your head on Vernon’s shoulder, and you feel his arm circling your waist and squeezing gently, his head coming to rest on top of yours.

Maybe he could help you fix the dripping sink in your bathroom, too.

The lack of sleep finally finds you, the gentle breeze making both of you shiver just enough for you to make your way inside. The elevator has never felt so slow as you wait for it, but when Vernon carefully takes your hand in his, you don’t mind as much anymore. You can feel your face heating up a little, thankful when the elevator dings open. Vernon doesn’t let go of your hand, but you can also tell that his eyes are barely open, so you do your best not to think too much of it even if your skin feels like it’s on fire. You put in your passcode and walk into the small apartment, both of you kicking off your shoes before you lead him into the living room, where he collapses on the couch immediately.

It’s a little endearing somehow, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he struggles to keep his eyes. You fetch him a blanket and leave a toothbrush on the side of the sink, but he’s fast asleep by the time you get back, a throw pillow tucked under his head. You gently cover him with the blanket, and leave to get ready for bed after whispering a “good night” into the dark room.

You have a hard time falling asleep, wondering if he’s going to be there in the morning.

You dream about having his toothbrush in your cup next to yours.

You wake up to the smell of breakfast, worry flooding your mind before you remember that it’s most likely just Vernon. You slowly open your door, peeking into the kitchen to see him in front of the stove, fumbling with a pan and a pair of chopsticks.

“Smells good,” your sudden voice makes him jump, and he almost drops the pan.

“Just because I don’t know how to unlock the front door you don’t get to scare me to death.”

His focus is back on the eggs in front of him, so you slip into the bathroom to brush your teeth. You grab everything without even looking, but the toothbrush feels foreign in your hand. You look at yourself in the mirror and realise that you’re holding the one that you left out for Vernon last night. Then it hits you, he put it in the cup himself.

You quickly finish your morning routine and walk back into the kitchen where he’s sitting at the table, two plates of food set out for both of you. The sun filters in through the sheer curtain, painting everything golden, and you feel like your heart might rip out of your chest with how it’s hammering away.

Breakfast is quiet and peaceful, Vernon showing no signs of being in a hurry. You thank him for making you food as you place the dishes in the sink, only to find him staring at you when you turn back around. His eyes are soft, a smile playing at the corners of his lips, and you feel almost naked under his gaze.

“What?” You know you’re blushing, but you have nowhere to hide in the small kitchen.

“Nothing.”

The smile doesn’t leave his lips still, and you quickly excuse yourself as you rush into your room, feeling too overwhelmed. It’s weird to have someone, especially him, in your kitchen, looking so domestic and so pretty in the early morning sunlight. You can hear him doing the dishes in the other room and it almost makes you cry. By the time you gather yourself enough to face him again he’s getting ready to leave, one of his shoes already on his feet. You watch in silence, and unlock the door for him when he stands up straight.

He’s halfway out the door when he turns back around and presses a kiss to your cheek; your mouth opens and closes as you try to say something. Vernon says bye with a laugh and leaves you standing there, way too flustered to even close the door.

A neighbour appears in the hallway which prompts you to slam the door shut way too quickly and loudly, pressing your back against it and sliding to the floor.

You wonder if you’re still dreaming.

-

You’re running late to your morning class, having missed your alarm, feeling kind of asleep still. The seat next to yours is empty when you arrive just a few seconds before the professor, and you wish you went back to bed instead of running all the way to school.

The class is halfway through when the door quietly opens and Vernon slips in, two to-go cups in his hands. He looks completely unbothered by the fact that he’s this late as he takes his usual seat. He slides one of the drinks in front of you, your name scribbled on the side of the paper cup. You give him a confused look, but he only nods at you before taking a sip of his coffee. You do the same, quickly realising that he bought you your favourite. Maybe coming to class wasn’t the worst idea.

You leave the lecture together, coming to a halt in front of the building as Vernon spots his friends huddled together in their usual circle.

“There’s gonna be a party tonight,” he turns to you suddenly. “I want you to come.”

His eyes are intense and it makes your heart flutter.

“Okay, I’ll be there. Thank you for the drink.” You give him a soft smile.

“I was gonna be late anyway, so I figured why not.” It’s obvious that he’s not telling the truth, his cheeks turning red along with his ears. It makes you feel warm inside. “I’ll see you tonight?”

“Will you watch the sunset with me before?”

With the way you’re looking at him, he doesn’t think he could say no to you, so he nods and turns to say bye. You stop him, your fingers wrapping around his arm, and you press a quick kiss to his cheek before walking away. He looks even more flustered, his feet glued in place as he watches you disappear into the morning mist.

You can hear his friends faintly as they cheer for him from afar.

-

It’s already getting dark when you rush out of your apartment towards the address that Vernon texted you. The air is crisp against your skin, and you realise you didn’t dress nearly warm enough to be sitting out in the cold, but it’s too late to go back home. You will yourself to a jogging speed, finally spotting Vernon in front of his complex.

“Please tell me the elevator is working,” you say, still trying to catch your breath. “My body was not made for this.”

“Well…” Vernon starts, but the look in your eyes makes him burst out in laughter. “I’m just fucking with you, it’s fine.”

“You better hope it’s fine, or you’ll get to carry me up to the rooftop on your back,” it’s his turn to give you a distraught look.

Lucky for both of you, the elevator is in working condition, so you only have to take the stairs on the last two floors. Vernon makes a show of opening the door leading up to the rooftop, a fond look on his face as he watches you take in the view. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you this happy. You turn to him and wrap your arms around him in a tight hug, muttering a “thank you” into his coat. The pink sky, along with the last few rays of sunshine make Vernon look even more angelic than you usually find him, and you wonder if he too can hear how fast and loud your heart is beating. He says something that you can’t hear from being lost in thought, but before you can ask him to repeat himself he’s pulling a blanket from his backpack and putting it down on the ground. You both take a seat, sitting close enough that your thighs are touching, your head almost immediately coming to rest on his shoulder.

The city is quietly buzzing away in the distance, glass buildings glistening pink, birds flying across the horizon. Vernon feels warm and familiar, his head on top of yours and his arm around you. You don’t remember the last time you felt so at peace.

The top of the sky is fading into blue, the last bit of sun still poking out from behind the city, but the stars are already visible. It feels like a moment you’ll remember forever.

You’re getting ready to leave, Vernon reaching a hand towards you to help you up. You watch him fold and put the blanket away in silence, and he freezes when he turns around, his backpack in his hands, finally noticing that you’re looking at him.

“What?” 

He looks confused, but you simply step closer instead of replying. Your mind is a mess of incomprehensible thoughts no matter how hard you try to regain control over yourself.

“Can you kiss me?” It’s barely a whisper, your thoughts somewhere far away, somewhere where you’re lying in the snow, eating ramen under neon lights. Somehow, Vernon looks the same kind of dazed.

His bag lands on the ground with a thud, his hands cupping your face as he leans in without thinking, his lips crashing against yours almost hungrily. Your fingers find his collars easily even with your eyes closed, pulling him closer, closer, closer. Your lips move perfectly together, your hearts beating in unison. He tastes like how it feels to wake up next to someone you love, and even though his lips are cold, a warm feeling floods your whole body. You only pull away when your lungs beg you for air, and as your eyes find Vernon’s you can’t help but smile. With his hands still gently resting on your face he wipes away a few stray tears, and you turn your head to the side to press your lips against his palm.

The air feels thick from all the words left unsaid, but they can wait. For now, you’re okay with this.

“I don’t wanna go to that party anymore.”

“I’ve got a better idea.”

-

You’re sitting at your usual table under the flickering neon lights at the convenience store, already having finished your food. For the first time in months, your chest feels light, and you’re not sure if it’s because of spring or Vernon. You don’t mind either way.

He walks you home, almost kisses you goodnight, but you pull away. He looks at you anxiously, waiting for something to happen.

“Sleep over,” you say in a small voice.

“Your couch isn’t that comfortable,” he’s only half joking, a smirk on his lips and his hands reaching to find yours.

“But my bed is.”

The smile vanishes off his face, his eyes widening, and you’re about to make up an excuse, say that you were only joking, when you notice that he’s blushing. Suddenly he nods, beaming at you, and you mimic his expression, pulling him towards the entrance.

It’s odd, having him this close, especially in your own home after having been alone in it for so long. He smells like your shampoo, and tastes like your toothpaste, and it makes you nervous and excited at the same time, your heart feeling too big for your chest.

You watch with a fond look on your face as he moves around in the apartment, and somehow it feels like this is how it’s always been, his comfortable presence filling a void you weren’t even fully aware of.. 

In the dark of your room, under the warm covers, he holds you against his chest as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. He looks at you, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips.

“Can I kiss you?” His question makes you let out an airy laugh, but he waits for your answer patiently.

“Only if you promise that you’ll do it again.”

With that, his lips are on yours, softly and slowly. He’s touching you like no one did before, with so much love and patience, that you can’t help but think about how this will break your body in unspeakable ways.

-

When you wake up, his bag is in the corner of your room, his toothbrush is still next to yours in the cup, and the sink isn’t dripping anymore. He’s still asleep, and you trace his features in your mind, trying to memorise how beautiful he looks even like this.

You know you’ll never love anyone as much as this, not in this lifetime.

A fleeting moment of everything and nothing.

[unclewaynemunson]

Prompt for steddie - A+ if it's angsty - but Steve trying to Conceal Don't Feel TM his crush on Eddie by going on dates and Eddie letting out a "hope she's everything you're looking for :))" at some point

Also good luck with your thesis Anna!!

Oooh I love this, thank you so much!!! Here you go, I hope it's angsty enough for you ;P

'How was your date last night?'

Steve was at the trailer with Eddie, having a smoke on the front porch, their knees lightly touching each other as they were sitting side by side on the dirty old couch.

'It was great,' Steve lied.

'Did you get any?'

'Yeah, it was fucking amazing.' Another lie – well, not entirely. He had slept with Rachel. But she had looked distracted and he hadn't been able to stop thinking about big brown eyes or long dark curls or ring-clad fingers while he should've been looking at her.

'Nice,' said Eddie, but there was an odd look in his eyes.

'You know, I really think it's going somewhere with her,' Steve blurted out in an attempt to drive the weird tension that was suddenly hanging between them away.

Eddie raised an eyebrow as he took another drag from his cigarette. 'Really?'

'Mhm. You know she's exactly my type, right?'

Eddie just rolled his eyes. 'I hope she's everything you're looking for, then,' he said. The way he made it sound just slightly biting made Steve's skin crawl.

'Yes, she is!' he said, a little too loud. 'You know what? She's exactly everything I'm looking for, she ticks all those goddamn boxes! She's, like, super hot, with her blue eyes and her long blonde hair and fucking perfect boobies! And she's freaking hilarious, one of the funniest girls I ever met. And we like the same music, she loves basketball, and it – it's fucking terrifying, Eddie. It's freaking me out.'

'What was that?'

Those dark eyes piercing into his own made him completely forget what exactly he was saying. 'It's all wrong, Eddie,' he said, unable to keep the despair from his voice. 'Because she's perfect for me, and I should've been head over heels for her after the first date, but I – I – ' He couldn't tell him. He couldn't say it.

But Eddie was still looking at him like that and he couldn't really think properly anymore.

'Steve.' He felt Eddie's hand cover his own. 'No need to freak out, man. Just keep breathing, alright? You can talk to me. What's going on?'

'I think I'm broken,' he admitted, quietly.

'What?'

He couldn't stand having those eyes on him for even one more second, so he glanced away, bowing his head to stare at the wood underneath his sneakers. Eddie's hand was still touching his, warm and gentle and driving him crazy in a way that nothing about Rachel had driven him crazy the night before.

'I'm thinking about the wrong person,' he tried to explain, unable to keep the frustration from his trembling voice. 'I've been on dozens of dates to get him out of my mind, but nothing seems to be working. And now there's this fucking perfect girl, and if even someone like her can’t get you out of my mind, then probably no one can, and – it doesn't make sense! You fucking broke me, and I can't even have you.'

'Steve?'

Eddie's hand finally left his, and Steve kept staring at his sneakers intently, knowing all too well what it meant that Eddie let go of him so quickly, knowing that Eddie would for sure be disgusted by him.

But then, he felt Eddie's fingers gently touching his chin, lifting his head up to make their eyes meet again.

'Steve – you – you were thinking of me while you were dating all those girls?' His voice was barely more than a whisper.

'I am so sorry, I know I shouldn't have told you, and I didn't – '

'Jesus, Stevie. Do you have any idea how fucking jealous I've been of those girls, hearing all your gross date stories? And all this time, you were into me?'

'Wait – hold on – jealous – huh – what?!' He couldn't even produce a complete sentence anymore.

Eddie chuckled softly at his stammered words. 'What on earth made you think that you can't have me?'

He was too embarrassed to keep looking at Eddie. 'Well, you're... you. You're this cool metal nerd person. We don't share any interests like me and Rachel do, I'm just some lame ex-jock who peaked in high school and works at some stupid video store, while you are this perfect, amazing, fascinating – '

'Okay, shit, there's a lot to unpack there,' Eddie interrupted him, 'and we'll do that at some point, but right now, I need you to shut up, Stevie. Can you do that?'

Steve could only nod as Eddie moved closer towards him. And when their lips finally touched each other, the taste of smoke on his tongue and Eddie's hands in his hair and on his back, Steve immediately knew that he never wanted to go on any date with any girl ever again. He had found everything he was looking for, right here on this dirty old couch in Forest Hills.

[fangirleaconmigo]

Fun little smut prompt: in honor of spooky season coming up, could we get some monster loving? Maybe a Geralt/Jaskier werewolf/tentacle/other monstrous happenings going on? Or just straight up Geralt being a witcher has some interesting smut possibilities. Always down for Geralt being Different(TM) and Jaskier being Horny for It (TM). (Or the other way around. Maybe Jaskier's hiding something and Geralt is really really a-okay with it . . .)

In the witcher books, Dandelion says that Geralt won't kill night spirits because they're "sweet". So for my first monsterfuckery fic EVER, guess what I picked?

--------------------

Sweet.

Geraskier. Explicit. Monsterfuckery, but make it sickeningly sweet.

“I know you said they were sweet. You didn’t say they were that sweet.”

Geralt was hung over. And worse, he had apparently told Jaskier about his arrangement with the night spirits of the Black Forest last night. This morning, he just wanted to forget he ever brought it up. He pictured the fresh bread waiting for him at the little shop around the corner. He walked faster.

“Stop trying to lose me!” Jaskier protested.

Geralt sped up.

“Is it a relationship??" Jaskier panted while he hopped to keep up. "Or is it just fucking?”

Geralt stopped and Jaskier ran into the back of him and bounced off.

Geralt crossed his arms and glared at him. 

“What?” Jaskier flailed. That was what he did when he was frustrated with Geralt. It was kind of cute. “ I just want to know! What’s wrong with asking a question?” He grinned a little too wide.

“This is why I don’t tell humans anything,” Geralt groused. “You lot think it’s a fucking joke.”

“I am not mocking! I am merely asking your relationship status, so I know whether I can invite myself to your next rendezvous, and not get punched.”

Geralt blinked. “Seriously?”

Jaskier nodded enthusiastically. “Seriously! Remember that splinter I got on my ass?”

“How could I forget? The trauma of staring at your ass for an hour haunts me in my dreams.”

Jaskier huffed dismissively. “Oh stop. As though you didn’t draw it out.” 

Geralt rolled his eyes.

“Anyway,” Jaskier continued. “I was trying to tempt a leshen. It was not in the mood. That is how I got that splinter.”

Geralt massaged his temples. “You told me--

“Nevermind what I told you! Now answer me about the night spirit.”

“Godsdamnit. Look. It’s….neither. We’re—-friends.“

“So—-can I come?” Jaskier’s face lit up hopefully.

Geralt opened his mouth. He expected his response to be ‘no’. The last thing he needed was to throw oil on the flames of his idiotic and ill advised crush on the bard. And yet, when he went to form the word, what issued from his mouth sounded a whole lot more like ‘yes’.

Jaskier drew in a breath and bounced happily on his toes.

——-

When night had fallen and the forest sounds grew loud and bold in the cover of night, Geralt and Jaskier stood together in the midst of a clearing in the Black Forest. It was sort of a clearing, but it was small. It was like a nook.

A towering, luminous being hovered above Geralt. It had no face, but it did have a head that was reminiscent of the moon. Tendrils of flowing light flicked around it like whips or tentacles.

The witcher spoke in a language Jaskier did not understand. Then he bowed his head. The night spirit did not reply. It simply disappeared.

“What did she—-he—-they—-say?” Jaskier asked. He had already put on his night clothes for, as he put it, easier access. However, he still had on his favorite coat, that had several bows running down the back. 

Geralt jerked his gaze back to him. “You wouldn’t mind if it...if the spirit were... a him?”

Jaskier laughed. “I’m trying to have sex with a night spirit. I tried to seduce a leshy. Did you think my ability to be attracted to a person was so limited?”

Geralt rubbed the back of his own neck. “I suppose not.”

The night spirit returned with friends. They hovered, like a chorus of apparitions, casting a lovely glow on the witcher and the bard. They made a series of noises. It sounded practically musical. Jaskier tried to commit the tune to memory.

“They said yes,” whispered Geralt.

Jaskier grinned triumphantly and waved expansively as he turned his body in a semi circle to allow his eyes to fall on every single night spirit. “I look forward to sexual congress with you ALL!”

“Fuck.” Geralt muttered. But he was smiling.

——

Geralt stood, facing Jaskier. Only, he wasn’t really looking at him. He was looking at the ground and speaking more quietly than normal. He glowed from the reflection of the light from the night spirits. His white hair made him look like he was wearing a halo.

Jaskier thought he looked quite beautiful like this. He had always been afraid to tell him when he thought he looked beautiful. He assumed he’d kick his ass and leave him.

But now.

Well.

Maybe Geralt was a bit more open minded than he gave him credit for. Also, Geralt had agreed to bring him along. So maybe he wasn’t entirely repulsed by the idea of seeing Jaskier naked either. This was turning out to be a most thrilling night.

“I didn’t catch that Geralt, I’m sorry.”

“I said,” Geralt repeated, with effort, and barely louder. “They think our skin is…pretty. So they like us naked.”

Jaskier already had his coat half off. “Well, who am I to deprive them of all of this!”

He was naked before Geralt could gather his wits.

And ok.

Geralt thought he was spectacular.

“Well, aren’t you going to get naked too?”Jaskier felt like a pervert because he was unable to keep the absolute glee and anticipation out of his voice. To make up for it he offered to look away. “Want me to look away?”

Geralt startled. “No. No of course not.”

The witcher started to take off his shirt, and the night spirits moved towards him as one. A glowing tendril of light touched his cheek.

A lovely expression came over Geralt. He closed his eyes and smiled.

Gods. Thought Jaskier. Fucking hell. He is so beautiful like this.

Jaskier realized he so rarely saw Geralt smile like that. Relaxed. Unguarded. No thought about being judged or found wanting. Every line on his face seemed to fall away. He looked twenty years younger. It made Jaskier’s heart feel like it would burst.

The night spirit was clearly intimate with Geralt, because it helped him disrobe.

Geralt’s cock was already half hard and it was magnificent. 

Jaskier licked his lips. “Alright, now what? What shall I do?” His voice trembled.

Trembled.

Jaskier was far younger than Geralt, but he was willing to bet that he had more sexual experience. He was a renowned lover, goddamnit.

And yet. He felt like a fucking virgin. He got to see Geralt’s cock. It was like the first time he’d seen a breast. He tried not to giggle. Despite his emotions, his body responded lustily to the buffet of witcher before him.

Looking at Geralt had already gotten him insanely erect. He’d been suppressing this attraction for ages, so it was a relief to stop hiding it. And if it offended Geralt, he could just pretend it was the night spirits.

It was entirely believable. They were rather pretty for people with no faces.

But it didn’t seem to offend Geralt. His cheeks were pink and if Jaskier didn’t know him better he would think he were stammering.

“They also like our voices. So. I make noises. Whenever I feel like it.”

“Well!” said Jaskier, clapping “I do that anyway, so this is perfect. Now what do we do. Penetrate? Be penetrated? Just rub around?”

Geralt smothered a smile. “We just. Lie back. They do everything else. They said for you to just watch, so you aren’t frightened when it is your turn.”

-----

Jaskier didn’t believe in the existence of gods, so he had never seriously asked them for anything.

And now he never would. Because really, what more could one want from life?

Nothing more than this, surely.

Geralt of Rivia was spread out in front of him. He was naked and squirming. His thick thighs were trembling.

He really was the most spectacular thing Jaskier had ever seen, stuffed with glowing tentacles, gasping for air, he was transcendent.

Jaskier stepped closer, transfixed, holding out his hand. He wasn’t sure what he intended to do with it. He just knew he had to touch Geralt. He didn’t think Geralt saw him, but then Geralt’s fingers were threaded in his. Then Geralt was pressing his hand to his stomach.

Fuck. Jaskier whispered.

Suddenly the night spirit language sounded a whole lot like common speech. “Kneel, bard.”

So Jaskier knelt. It felt like the only thing to do. Jaskier knelt and took Geralt’s cock in his mouth. He gripped his ass and used it to hold himself steady. He kissed and sucked and licked and forgot what time and space was. All that existed was the hard length of parting his lips. The entire universe was the salty, warm scent and taste of Him. There were no words spoken more important than the sound of his name falling from Geralt’s lips.

As he bobbed his head, he felt something tickle his thigh. It was asking for permission. He moaned. And soon, there were tendrils made of light curling around his body, plunging into him. Geralt’s length fell from his lips as he cried out. 

Soon enough he managed to feel ecstasy and deliver his pleasure to Geralt at the same time.

They crested together, like the swell in a symphony. They spent onto the forest floor, shaking and moaning. Then, Jaskier crawled into his arms and kissed him. It was only then that he realized they were floating, resting on beams of light.

His voice was scratchy and he whispered in Geralts’ ear. “I think I love you.”

The night spirits tittered.

“What did they say?”

Geralt chuckled. He was still sweaty and breathing deep and fast. “They said, ‘it’s about time’.”

"Hey. Geralt did not mention your sarcasm."

And then.

“Wait. They know me?”

The night spirits once again spoke in common. Their voices were as one. “You’re all he ever talks about. We have asked him again and again to invite you, believing it could open communication between you.”

Jaskier looked into Geralt’s eyes. They were pressed against each other now, enveloped in each other’s arms. “Did they now?”

“They did.”

“He loves you too.”

Jaskier smiled. “Is this true? Are you friends having me on?”

Geralt squeezed him. “It’s true.”

The night spirits spoke again, as one. Jaskier didn't ask that time what they said. It sounded more like a laughter.

The night spirits didn't have a cave or den or any place to host them, so Jaskier walked back to their camp, hand in hand. Only now they shared a bed roll.

Years later, when Geralt and Jaskier were married, and people asked them how they came to be together as a couple, Geralt would always change the topic.

But it was inevitable that Jaskier would clear his throat and hold court. He loved telling that story, even if Geralt turned so many shades of pink that he looked purple.

After all, who else can say that night spirits, and their vibrating tentacles brought you the love of your life?

Just one witcher and one bard, he’d wager.