#//we protect and comfort our angel in this household

[keruimi]

Found You

Muichiro Tokito x reader

Warning: Angst but have a proper ending

Note: I notice that my most favored post is Muichiro's oneshot. So I made another one, I hope you enjoyed it

And all along, I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me.

I have loved you

__________________

"Muichiro" I heard Kyojuro-san call for me as I was standing at the engawa of the Ubuyashiki's household.

The other pillars were celebrating inside as I decided to be alone for a while until the Flame Hashira looked for me when he noticed my presence is not with them.

Both of us were silent as I didn't even bother glancing at him.

My heart always feels heavy so talking to anyone wouldn't make it better if they can't grant it.

"It's been 7 years kiddo. You need to move on" I heard him as he sat on the edge of the Engawa that made me stare at him.

He tapped the place beside him as he looked back at me.

I silently sat down on that place and he already had his arms resting on my shoulder.

"Your mind and heart should not always be on her. You have yourself too"

"I can't" I muttered as I felt my eyes started to sting a little as my memories with her keep flashing in my mind.

"She was..." I trailed off as I saw my imagination on her sitting down on the grass as the moon gracefully highlighted her existence.

For my vision, she was the angel that God sent to me.

So why did we end up that way?

Her fading silhouette disappeared in front of me as I swallowed the lump on my throat.

"She was the only one I have"

"And she left, kid. There are really times in our life that the heavens above would send to teach us a lesson and that lesson you learned can be found on someone else" he advised me as he pat my back.

I look down and I can't help but fisted my hands on his words.

"What if I want her to be my everything?"

"Then that's dangerous" he exclaimed before he stared at me.

I felt the tears in my eyes slowly build up as a small smile lifted from my lips on his words.

"You told me.." I breathlessly whisper as I started to have a hard time speaking knowing my next words would make me break down sobbing.

"You told me to set my heart ablaze. Go beyond my limits. Follow my dreams"

Tears started to slide down from my cheeks as I looked up as his facade softened when he saw my state.

"I did what you told me and in exchange..." I started to heave breaths as he ran his hand on my back in an attempt to comfort me.

"In exchange, she left me" I breathlessly let out as he brought my head to his shoulder to help me silence my cries.

I miss her...

I miss her so badly.

"Why is it so painful when I set her free. She was the only one I had when I lost my twin. Why didn't she stay with me" I continue crying as he let me rant the painful words I didn't manage to say to her.

"Why did she deprive me of the explanation I needed. She knew I only have her, she clearly knew that"

My body trembled in anger that would die down the moment I remember my moments with her.

But for now, I can't take it anymore.

"Kid, listen to me" he pulled away before he tapped my arms in a way to get my attention.

"Some people are meant to stay for a while even if we want them to stay forever"

My heart broke more on his words as I can't prevent my sobs from being drowned down.

"You followed your dreams. You love and that's not wrong. But for me kiddo, you need someone better. Someone who would support your dream of protecting the world. Someone who would stick beside you no matter how cruel the destiny you will face. True love is about staying even if there are reasons to leave"

I wiped my tears using my trembling hands as I looked up to him.

"But I always wanted her"

~•°•~

"Chiro" I heard her voice behind me that made me look up and saw her bring food for me and my brother.

She is one of the girls in the village who started to look after me and my brother after my parents died.

She didn't say her reasons but her happiness with us was unexplainable.

Even my brother can't help but soften up with her.

She is the one who put an ointment with the scratches on my arms and always tried her best to get along with my brother.

I overcame my parents death because of her.

She put colors back in my dull world. She helped me manage my brother's anger.

She made the world more bearable.

Until everything fell apart when my brother died due to the injuries the demon inflicted on him.

I almost died too if she didn't immediately call for help.

She helped me survive because of her gut feeling. It broke me when I barely even remembered her the moment I woke up but she didn't hold any hatred against it.

She still stayed as I trained myself to become stronger, to become a better defender.

Because I won't make it if I lose her too.

I train myself to protect her from the cruel challenges that the world will give to her.

But I didn't know she was slowly drifting farther away from me.

That one day, she suddenly burst her real feelings to the new me.

The new me who became a hashira, to help me ease the deep hatred I had for the demons even if I forgot my reason is to avenge my brother.

"I don't want you to become a slayer!" She shouted that loud and clear. That I could hear the fear and disappointment in her tone that broke my heart further.

"I did this to protect you"

"No!" She snapped back as tears filled her own eyes. "You can't risk your life in a battle"

"Y/n" I softly called out for her as I took a hold of her cheek but she didn't want to look me in the eyes at all.

"I'm doing this, so I can protect the people I love" I muttered as she slapped my hands away from her.

"How about yourself? Did you ever think of your life at least? Why do you always need to look for others!" She shouted as anger filled her eyes that made me step back.

It finally dawned to me that she has the same mindset as my brother.

I wanted to become a sword man because I want to protect the people. My brother thought I was useless for it, and she...

She think I would let myself die on the battlefield.

With my heart burning with hatred, I would not let myself die as long as the demons are not annihilated from this world.

"Y/n" I pulled her to an embrace as she tried to remove herself from my grasp.

"I need this to protect you"

"You don't. If you really think I would like this then let me tell you. I really don't!" She shouted as I could feel her hitting my chest but I refused to let her go.

"Why do you need to end up in this fate"

I felt my world stop the moment she weakly uttered those words.

"I ask for help from the wrong people" I pulled away from her as my own eyes reflect my disbelief on her words.

"Y/n"

It sounded like she regretted everything. Just because I chose to become a fighter?

"I hate you!"

Those dreadful words were the last thing I heard as she turned her back from me and walked away.

My feet were frozen and I couldn't even run to catch her.

No

I can, but I don't have the right words to make her stay.

What was I supposed to do?

Who am I supposed to be just to make her stay in my life.

That day...

I felt like I was really alone in this world.

~•°•~

It's been seven years ever since my family moved to the countryside for a more peaceful life where the village is in harmony and has not been attacked by demons at all.

A place where demons never existed.

Most of the time I thought of that sentence, it only reminds me of the person I decided to leave.

Cruel or not but I did it for myself.

I just can't handle the path he chose for his self.

My thoughts were snap when I remember what I was doing.

I was praying for his own safety.

I looked up and saw the kamidana as I put down my offering before clasping my hands together.

"I pray for his safety"

Even if I left him, even if he thinks I hated him, in the end, I would want him to continue living even if I was not there.

I couldn't accept his dream so I left hoping that he could reach it without me.

Because I know I can't support him knowing he is putting his life at risk.

I don't want to lose someone important to me again.

So cruel or not, I left early so it won't be that painful anymore.

I kowtow in front of the Kamidana before I looked outside the window and the moon started to rise.

How can the night be this peaceful and beautiful but dangerous.

I didn't think of anything anymore as I started to head my way back to my room.

I felt the cold breeze in my room as I noticed that the windows were open. I went outside so I can think better about the choices I made in my life.

One of them was the choice of leaving him.

There are no days I didn't berate myself for it.

It was selfish, because I wanted to lessen the pain and just left him hanging after he lost his family.

But at the same time, isn't it better?

He could follow his dream and at the same time, meet a better woman.

In his story, I am just a side character he shouldn't protect.

Because in the end, I would keep choosing myself.

I sigh as I embrace the coldness of the night as I gaze at the stars above.

I was just a stepping stone for him to be stronger. His reason, but should never be his first choice.

I want him to put himself first before others, before me.

"Yuichiro, I hope you're guiding him" I whispered as I felt my chest tighten.

Seven years, and I still remember both of them no matter how our destiny lined up.

I am still trying to unbind the tangled paths in front of me. The path of my life that I wanted to live peacefully.

I wanted a chosen destiny where I can be happy.

A Fate that wouldn't revolve around him.

My blood turm cold when I hear my mother scream outside my room. Without thinking further, I ran towards her direction and saw blood across the kitchen floor.

My father was holding a sword as the demon had his hand on my mother's neck.

I felt my hands shook in fear as I saw the terror in my parents'eyes.

I put a finger on my lips when my father was about to call my name.

Without a second thought, I took a knife and cut myself on the wrist and finally heard my father calling my name.

"You blood lust monster! I have the blood you wanted" I felt my voice lowered as I said those words.

No matter what, I won't let myself die in this situation.

The demon turned his head on my way and saw his face that almost looked like a zombie.

My body was trembling but I know, I need to stay calm.

"Leave... My mother... Alone" I stated those words with a cold tone as I keep my eye contact with him.

When he let my mother down the floor, I started to step back.

"Dad, I know what I need to do. Just stay with mom" I uttered those words as I keep my eyes on the demon who took a step forward as I step back.

On the side, I saw my father's silhouette embrace my mom's before I opened the door and made a run outside.

I can hear the quick footsteps of the demon beside me as I see the village. There are bodies on the ground as I realized there are more than one demon here.

"I have marechi blood!" I shouted like a lunatic in hopes to get the attention of the demons that attacked the village.

And I did

Knowing the selfish nature of these creatures, they would fight with each other for my blood.

I took the sword of one of the bodies and realized they were from the demon slayer corps.

These people were his peers.

I removed that from my mind when they started to run towards me while others fought with each other.

I slashed the neck of the other demons with all the strength I've got but it was not enough.

One demon manages to take a hold of the edge of the sword before pulling it away from me by force and knowing one of the wrists has a wound.

It started to sting in pain. I hissed as I fell forward to the ground.

My fears were gone the moment the pain settled into my system as I took a hold of my bleeding wrist to stop the blood from flowing.

They just growl when I do that.

Well as long as they are far away from the village, I can make it.

As long as I find a way.

But not even a minute passed by, a demon pounced on me with its fangs shown.

I thought I was going to die at that moment.

If it weren't for a sudden figure who showed up behind me and kicked the demon away from me.

He took his sword out and I immediately recognized the words written on his sword.

'Destroyer of Demons'

I felt my heartbeat quicken when It finally dawned on me the pale turquoise color at the end of their long hair as they easily killed the demons that surround us.

With their back facing me, I can only hear the wind and the sound of insects across the forest.

The figure in front of me finally turned in my direction and I knew...

I knew my destiny is tangled with his again.

His blank gaze slowly softened when his eyes laid on me. A look of relief crossed on his ways as he took strides towards me.

"Y/n" I heard his voice tremble when he called my name as tears built up on my eyes.

"I finally found you"

The happiness and relief on his tone was recognizable as he pulled me into an embrace, hiding his displayed emotions on my shoulders.

I felt my clothes started to get wet and I realized he was crying.

"Mui" His arms grip around me as I feel my chest tighten. The pain...

It was clear to both of us.

It was really clear that no one wanted to be away from each other. All those years because of selfishness, we went through the feeling of longing and heartbreak.

The Selfish I chose for myself. A choice that should be a fuel to his hatred for me.

So he can forget about me...

Yet the emotion I expected him to give me the moment we meet again, was nowhere to be found.

It was simply happiness when he found me.

It made me realize the precious someone I have abandoned that made me have the urge to embrace him like he did.

In the end,

I can't completely remove the feelings that have slowly built up within me

The truth is...

I just don't want him to die on me...

[multifandomworldsposts]

Day 18 of Kinkmas: Being a Whore For Ponyboy

pairing: ponyboy curtis x fem!reader

warning: protected sex

Y/N's (sparkle) POV

Yes I live in a whore house, and some people HATE the fact that I live in one but all the girls are super sweet including the Head Mistress, Miss. Lola is the most dearest person I've ever met!

I had a hard life back when I was a child. Parents always fighting, brother being a abusive asshole, you know the ups and downs of a terrible household. I moved out at age 18 because my mom wanted me to go and I met Miss. Lola at a bar and she asked me to go to the whore house and I obviously said yes. Now I'm in the house with 9 girls always wear lingerie and stilettos.

It's a friday night and we got a call about 6 men are coming to the house which, I wonder who I'm gonna get.

"Alright ladies you know the drill right?" Miss Lola says.

"Yes Miss. Lola!" We said at the same time.

"Now go to your usual places!"

We go sit in our usual seats and we hear cars in the distance and the girls and I squealed but Miss. Lola shushed use but in a nice way. We hear the doorbell ring and Miss. Lola opens the door and holy, these men look attractive.

"Hello Miss. Lola, girls." A tall brunette says. He looks older than the other men.

The girls giggled including myself.

"Some of these girls know what they're doing and some, are new so make them comfortable alright?" Miss Lola whispers but I heard it.

The men nods and walks up to us and one of them went up to me and gave me a grin. I giggle.

"Girls." We look at Miss. Lola.

"Go up to your rooms and please be protective."

We nod and we took our men up to our rooms and closed the doors.

My guy sat on my bed and took his pants off and looked so handsome.

"What's your name sweetie?" He said.

"Sparkle."

"Your actual name." He smiles.

"Y/N."

"It suits you."

I chuckle and said, "What's yours, handsome?"

He looks down and chuckles and says, "Ponyboy."

"That's a original name."

"I get that a lot."

I walk up to him and I feel his hands wrapping around my waist and I put my hands on his shoulders.

"Well Ponyboy, I hope that you're ready for a long night."

"Are you on anything?"

"Yes Ponyboy."

"Then, I'm ready for you princess."

I smile and started kissing him. I feel him putting me on the bed and I giggle. He stops kissing me and takes his shirt off and starts making out with me. He starts to give me hickeys and I start to moan. It feels so good. I tug on his hair and I can feel him getting hard. I can tell he wants my lingerie off so I let him take it off, he's in awe. I get on top of him and straddles him and began to do a trial of kisses down to his underwear to take them off and his cock. Boy he's huge. I start blowing him, he starts to moan and says, "That's it, right there baby girl." I can feel his hand on my head to keep me steady.

"I'm about to cum baby."

I keep on bobbing but he stops me and says, "I need to be inside you." I go up to him and he flips me over and starts to fuck me. I moan I don't want him to stop.

"Ah, Pony!"

He came.

We hear a scream and we stop and looked at the wall where the screaming is coming from and it's coming from Valerie's (Angel) room.

"I think Dally is in the room."

"He's got Angel."

"Who's angel?”

"Her actual name is Valerie and I think Baby is in there to."

Pony gave me a look like he's never heard of that name before.

"Baby's actual name is Jessie."

"Well, I'm glad that I can have you all to myself." Ponyboy grins.

"Make love to me Ponyboy."

He grins again and starts fucking me again. God this boy, he feels good inside me. I scream and feels him kissing the valley of my breasts and I start feeling his hair and starts tugging on it a little. He stops fucking me and I whine.

"Pony?"

"Yes Sparkle?" Ponyboy says still under the sheets.

"Can we take a break, I feel sore."

Pony went up to me and laid down next to me and fixes a strand of hair of mine out of way and looks at smiles. "What Pony?"

"I just want to look at you." I giggled.

"Y/N?"

"Hmm."

"I have a weird question."

"What is it?"

“What was your life like before you became a, you know, this?" I look down and chuckle and says, "Well, I had a hard life and I had a abusive household, my dad and my brother would beat to shit out of me and my mom kicked me out at the age of 18. Now I live here with nice girls including a sweet head mistress."

"I'm sorry that you have to go through that. You seem like an innocent girl."

"Ms. Lola is like a mother to me, a sweet woman who thinks women can do what they like to do."

"Is this what you want to do your whole life?" "Well, not really, maybe marrying someone, having a actual job, or maybe having children one day." Pony smiles and touches my cheek and says, "We can get married." "Really?"

"Yeah, but not now, you're a sweet person and how can someone treat you like shit?"

"Ask my family." Ponyboy looks at me and kisses me on the lips and I kiss him back. He's a good kisser.

"I don't want to be just a hookup, I actually want to take this thing that we're doing to the next level."

"What do you mean Ponyboy?"

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?" He smiles. "Yes Pony!" I smile as well.

[veggie9961]

Gen Z Saturn Placements

Saturn is time---past, present, and future. It represents both past golden age and future utopia. It tends to denote opposites---it is the planet of the poor and downtrodden and the planet of the extremely wealthy; it is an isolated and depressed planet, and yet it is a planet of success, fame, and social connections. Saturn represents the climb, the process, and the gamble---the effort and the risk of going out of your comfort zone to achieve something new and innovative.

In short, your Saturn sign is an energy which is foreign to you. Most of Gen Z has Saturn in the signs Taurus, Gemini, Cancer or Leo. These signs all have to do with presence and connections with the immediate environment. Gen Z might have collective challenges with enjoying the present moment due to the worldly pulls of technology and globalized education. This signs also have to do with the simple and personal enjoyment of life. This generation might be able to enjoy life more with age.

Saturn in Taurus

In Saturn in Taurus we find an inability to remain stable or at peace. People with this placement might remember a simpler time, a time when things were steady, a time when they had everything. The punishment of Saturn in this sign could indicate a rupture or vulnerable period in the stability of their household or in their ability to support and feed themselves. Insecurity can make room for a competitive attitude. This might be a determined, bold individual whose patient, deliberative instincts are suppressed deep within. A goal for these natives is to relax, and to make sure good values aren't lost in the game for power. As they mature, they build a wealth of luxury, security and influence to protect themselves. They might be famous. If not, they are generous and guide others with what they know at the very least.

Saturn in Gemini

In Saturn in Gemini we find an inability to think or speak freely. People with this placement might lean more toward maintaining identity for themselves by following certain morals and ideals in what they allow themselves to think or say. They remember a time when they could converse instinctively and critically, but their newfound anxiety can usually only allow them to converse with maturity. The good news is they can connect with anyone of any background. This placement can feel dissociative, and to combat that, an individual should get comfortable with having a unique way of speaking, thinking and doing things, and surround themselves to learn from a diverse variety of individuals who can bring out dynamic shades of their inner conversationalist.

Saturn in Cancer

In Saturn in Cancer we find an inability to express our emotional vulnerability or the need for help without feeling like the scapegoat. Those with this placement have a soft, imaginative spirit trapped deep inside like a ghost in a machine. They might remember a time when they expressed their softer, angelic side, but they have since resolved to a life of working hard to achieve traditional ideals of success. There could also be a disconnect from a parent, the family or from culture. This is a painful, nostalgic placement. It is Saturn in detriment. With time, these individuals earn comfort after putting in the effort to work through their emotions. Perhaps at that point, their journey rationalizing the concept itself of comfort will have allowed them to discover a more mature ideal of comfort and care-giving.

Saturn in Leo

In Saturn in Leo we find an inability to have fun and display confidence without overthinking about others. There is anxiety around performance for people with this placement. They come off as serious and shy. They are unable to act on their ego. They mask their personality in favor of ideals such as remaining objective. They might put things they want off to the future. Saturn in detriment in Leo can be painful as the existence of objective awareness prevents the native from truly and simply being the person they want to be. Whether they know it or not, though, these people are main characters, and they redefine what it means to be a main character. If they put in the effort, or just took the risk, they are truly able to do whatever they want. They are talented folks, and their skills age like fine wine as they open up and surprise everyone.

[cdwindowss]

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[lost-technology]

2/2

And then our nephew died. Mid-January, just a random heart-attack in his sleep. And well, I was a mess. I've been a mess all year. I quit my job because I thought it was better than getting an assault-charge from beating an abusive little fuck of a coworker upside the head with a greasy metal spatula. (He did not know of my situation, he was just a little fuck I could barely stand in general and in my state, I knew I was going to lose it on somebody, and so it was better to quit and go back into video group-therapy for a while). I had to be on the planning-board for a memorial service for the first time in my life. I thought of going back to the psych hospital, but I was terrified of being treated like a zoo animal / prison inmate again, so I struck it out and somehow didn't drink. I can't say that I didn't do some self-harm, but my fiance' watched out for me and I had to be strong for him. He was grieving, too, even if he's the type to say "I'm used to this, I've been through this before" and to be stoic. I threw a lot into art. I painted a picture of a frolicking Eevee because our nephew loved Eevees. I've been doing a lot of paintings with bright, neon colors - it's a rail against the dark. I took up a much needed cleaning out an area household chore while re-watching Bojack Horseman because my brain decided that parsing what I was going through required watching something really depressing and darkly comic. I didn't keep up with Tristamp with every release. I was so depressed I wasn't even doing things I was interested in - even with therapy-help. I eventually started dragging myself into watching more episodes, particularly as the dub came out and I got to hear the angel-sweet voice of my boy, Johnny Yong Bosch. As far as I'm concerned, that man IS Vash in the voice-department. That was when I was pointing at the screen and telling my partner, who hadn't read all of the manga - "Oh! They're doing this thing from the manga!" "Livio!" - and he watched me BRACE and curl up in my chair when I knew "Ooh, they're gonan find Tessla, aren't they?" - Aaaaand Stampede made it somehow WORSE. Stampede just got better and better. Although I voiced that I missed some of the more comedic tone of '98 and even Trigun Maximum, which was dark, but had it's moments. In any case, along with The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom" - Trigun pulling me back in became a distraction. It also... well, Trigun is a story of love and grief. Vash loves and he loses and he moves on, carrying the people he lives in his memory. He lives to atone for that which he blames himself for and to protect, aid and simply to experience humanity with those who remain. And THAT is inspiring. I'm sad that my nephew isn't here to watch it with me. I'm sad that we aren't having discussions over Facebook messenger and in-person with holiday visits of the media. I'm sad that I can't tell him "Oh, this happened in the Trigun manga! I can show you! They're doing a bit of a different spin on it, though!" just like he'd talk our ears off coming back from a Marvel movie - him having been an American comics geek. But I'm carrying on and carrying him in my heart. And engaging with Vash as a powerful force in my life once again is reminding me of the courage and determination I need. Vash really is my comfort character, for so many reasons. He is a fictional person, but I thank him for helping me through this goddamned year. So, thank you Vash. Thank you.

Tristamp and Year in Review

I saw someone else speaking of their discovery of Trigun: Stampede and how it helped them through the year and only glossed over it. However, this anime was important to me this year. Trigger warnings: Death, grief, mourning, suicidal ideation and the fact that this was a generally shitty year. Personal stuff. Heartwarming "warning": Healing, reconciliation and a touch of nostalgia.

Where I was when I started the year: Laughing at Congress' inability to elect a House speaker (I follow American politics), working a shitty fast food job and looking forward, with some trepidation, to the Trigun reboot that my partner's adult nephew (also best friend) told me about, being an old school Trigun fan who had Trigun as almost her whole life back in the 2000s. I have a bookshelf full of manga, some even in Japanese even though I'm an English-only reader. I have a manga-book signed by Nightow, this is my level of dedication, even though I had fallen out of the fandom for a long time (my hyperfixations turning toward certain videogames - Zelda most prominently and my getting hard into She-Ra and the Princesses of Power for some reason. Spop was an obsession because I was a fan of the original when I was a kid (yes, Virginia, old people are in fandom). I got into the new series, mostly because I really loved Entrapta (mad scientist trope!) and was into a certain side of the fandom I now largely regret being in. I wound up having a falling out with a lot of people because a misunderstanding that lead to an accusation of plagiarism that culminated in me displaying actual symptoms of the mental illness that my "friend group" lied and said they were compassionate towards,* me being fairly harassing toward certain people and picking fights, (certain paranoid false accusations had me PISSED), people treating me like an emotional predator who was somehow "out to get them" instead of suffering a spiral. Someone screenshotting and putting up some suicidal ideation I'd posted on my blog that I'd deleted specifically in order to tell people in the fandom who weren't even in the drama that I was "faking it" and to not talk to me / exile me from the fandom. And that drove me over the edge - that thing. When I got back from the hospital, I was determined to remain in the fandom - making a new blog, doing my art and fics whether the gatekeepers wanted me in their precious fandom or not. (*Something I have learned in my long life is that no one is truly compassionate to the bipolar - not even other bipolar people. When we're a mess, we're a mess. Trust me, not even paid psychs are always prepared). This happened like, 2 years ago, but I'm still bitter. So, that's where I was, plugging away, embittered in an old fandom that I wasn't quite quitting because I needed to show myself, if no one else, that I was still standing. Looking forward to Trigun reboot and worried it would suck. Looking very forward to the new Zelda game, wondering if I could afford it when it came out. Watched the first Trigun: Stampede with my fiance / partner. He declared "It ain't Trigun" because he didn't like the new art style and some of it really had a different feel than the '98 anime. I was all "I don't really like how the SEEDS stuff is just right out front there rather than an unfolding mystery, but this animation is SLICK and I want to see where this is going!" 1/2

[rie-092]

Hiiiii I saw requests were open and I was wondering if you could do a platonic Yandere on the way to protect the female leads older brother? Like where the reader is the youngest and what would happen if they manage to runaway from their crazy family? Pls?

ANGEL

❲ platonic yandere! agriche family x youngest agriche! reader ❳

summary : everyone in the agriche family hates the fact that their angel, the weakest person in their household was able to escape from them.

tw : yandere behavior, toxic behavior, unhealthy obsession, mentions of killing, mentions of violence, confinement, (idk what to add anymore, hahaha)

ah, the youngest, the weakest, and the most naive member of the agriche family. that's how everyone, including your family, sees you as. they all see you as a fragile doll who needs protection because you might break down if they didn't protect you.

you see, everyone in that household was taught that familial love wasn't important. and lant, the current head of your family sees his children as weapons. but you do not belong with that. as much as he hates to admit it, this guy was so obsessed and curious about you. he doesn't know the reason why you, his weakest child were able to catch his attention.

you see, as much as he hates to admit it. you were his favorite child. and he doesn't want his child to get hurt, that's why he didn't hesitate to confine you to the agriche mansion. jeez, you want to explore the world with that weak-ass body of yours? no way!

maria and sierra, this two were the people who act like your bodyguards. if you're not with your siblings, maria and sierra wouldn't hesitate to invite you to have tea with them. as a platonic yandere, sierra could become pretty delusional. your behavior reminds her a lot of her deceased son, ashil. so cheerful and so kind. and at some point, this woman believed that you are ashil's reincarnation. if you're not, then why are you treating her like your own mom? why do you have the same mannerism as ashil? why are you so kind to everyone? and since she believed that you are ashil's reincarnation, sierra wouldn't hesitate to throw her life away if it means that she can protect you. because she doesn't want to lose you. she doesn't want to lose her as his again.

platonic yandere! maria was more twisted than sierra. everyone knows how sadistic maria could be. and if you ever disobeyed her, maria will not hesitate to kill an innocent servant in front of you. she will not care if you got some of the servant's blood on your body. because once she sees that terrified expression on your face, maria will immediately hurry and pull you into a hug and start to threaten to comfort you. ahh, our poor angel is so scared, don't worry! aunt maria will be there to protect you!

let's move on with platonic yandere! fontaine and griselda. you didn't expect that i'll add fontaine here, right? i also didn't expect that! but for the fun, let's add this asshole this guy! platonic yandere! fontaine, wants to be recognized by lant. and seeing how much lant favors you, his youngest half-sister, this guy planned to use you. yes, he planned to use you at first, but his plans changed after seeing how innocent you are. you see, unlike the others, fontaine was the last person in the family who becomes a yandere for you. he keeps convincing himself that he had no use for your weak self. but seeing you trying your best to get along with him only boosts his unhealthy (platonic) obsession. and if you ever disobey this guy, he wouldn't hesitate to ‘discipline’ you. saying that he was only doing that for your sake so you better not tell to lant or your stepmothers that he hurt you, okay?!

but you don't have to worry! because whenever fontaine hurts you, griselda your older sister will be there to patch you up and comfort you. the main reason why griselda became a yandere for you was that you were interesting. and we all know that griselda loves interesting things. and the more she observes you, the more you become interesting. and griselda's amusement later morphed onto an unhealthy obsession. griselda was a calm woman, and she was able to hide her yandere tendencies so well. that's why whenever fontaine hurts you, you immediately go and look for her. and griselda, while patching you up, will manipulate you into thinking that fontaine was the bad guy here. griselda just wanted one simple thing, and it's you to stay away from fontaine. because once you did, then, her, lant, maria, roxana, dion, and jeremy will be able to deal with him quietly.

let's move on with platonic yandere! dion, roxana, and jeremy. dion, this guy was the one who trained you. that's also the main reason why you passed that test easily. and during those times that he trained you, the two of you got close to each other. and your other siblings were jealous of him! but dion doesn't care. just like lant, dion is an overprotective type of yandere. as much as dion likes to see you cry. this guy still prefers to see you smiling at him. and he will do anything (even if it means he had to kill someone) just to keep that bright smile of yours, he'll do it.

jeremy just like others is very obsessed with your presence. this guy was very clingy to you. he just really adores his little sister! he will even compete against dion and the others to show them that he was the one who's closest to you. and do you remember that present that you gave him three years ago? the one that you personally made? he always keeps it with him and once he had a chance, he won't hesitate to brag it to his other siblings. he was like, look at this! (first name) made this for me with those pretty fingers of hers! did she give you this kind of present before? oh, that just means that i and xana are her favorite siblings! and everyone knows how childish jeremy could be when it comes to you. that's why he easily got jealous whenever he sees you having tea with dion. that's why he wouldn't hesitate to drag you with him every time he visits roxana. you don't have to worry, this older brother of yours just wants to spend time with you! that's why, you will go with him, right?

roxana is just like griselda because she was able to hide her yandere tendencies very well. roxana just like jeremy, doesn't like to see you with dion. because she was worried that dion might corrupt your innocence. as a yandere, roxana can be pretty manipulative, and sadistic. if you ever disobey her, just like fontaine, roxana won't hesitate to discipline you. but you don't have to worry, because, unlike fontaine, she and jeremy will be there to comfort you. oh, poor little (first name). if you just listened to roxana then she won't have to punish you! this is also hard for her, so just listen to her, okay?

and you, being tired to deal with your family's bullshits decided to run away from them. how did you manage to get away from them? let's keep it a secret for now.

and you're wondering what happened to your family after you managed to escape from them? simple, your crazy family became crazier because their angel wasn't there with them. you are the only one who keeps them sane, and you disappeared? this will just cause havoc inside the agriche mansion.

lant, was the first person who discovered that you got escaped. and he was so furious, to the point that he killed all the servants and knights that he assigned to you. it was their fault! how dare they help his little angel to help his little angel escape! he knows that you can't escape alone, without anyone's help, that's the reason why he's sure that someone helped you. and once he knows who's the person who helped you, lant will surely torture them!

just like lant, maria was also angry. this woman wants to kill the person who helped you escape. while sierra, sierra was heartbroken and scared. what if something happens to you while you're outside?! what if you got hurt while you were outside?! no, no, no! she doesn't want to lose you! because if she loses you, then she will lose ashil completely!

the usual calm griselda was nowhere to be seen after you managed to escape from them. griselda become colder and many servants were scared because of that. because every time griselda looks at them, griselda looks uninterested and very bored. after all, in griselda's eyes. the servants weren't interesting as you. and she was also furious at those people that her father sent to guard you. how dare they let you escape. haah, it looks like she needs to go out to kill the family of those guards.

everyone knows how much fontaine loathes dion. but if it means that they will be able to bring you back to the mansion, fontaine won't hesitate to partner with dion to find you. even jeremy who hates both of them will help them to find you.

even roxana will surely send many of her poisonous butterflies just to find her little sister. without you around, your crazy family became crazier. so you better make sure that they won't be able to find you. because once they find you, they will not hesitate to break your legs or chain you if it means that you won't leave the mansion again.

“ you should enjoy your temporary freedom as much as you can, little angel. ”

[technowoah]

Dating The Dream Team Headcanon(s)

Dream! (Clay)

Our supposed golden retriever

He loves you with his whole heart and he'll tell you that every second he gets.

He loves showering you with affection on and off camera

Mostly off camera

Pda isn't a problem because no one knows his real face.

He'll kiss you, holding hands, hug you, piggyback rides when your feet hurt, locking arms, arms around eachother when you're walking. All of be above

Just hugging you from behind all of the time. And always wanting to be around you

But if people know who you are and know you're dating Dream you two rarely go outside in public areas.

But home dates are amazing too!

Blanket forts even though its so cliché, he insists.

Watching horror movies on the first date was his choice.

Ya know for somone to cuddle, just in case they get scared. It worked.

You guys dont need "dates" because you always are around eachother.

But Clay likes to have formal dates every now and then

At first you didn't know what to call Clay.

You had called Clay, Dream for the first month you two started officially dating.

One day he asked you why, and you said that you watch videos that he's in and gotton used to people calling him Dream

He melted on spot when you mentioned you watched his videos and videos with him in it.

Except for the minecraft cheating ones

He always asks if you like the video first before anyone else because he values your opinions.

He'll sit you on his lap while recording or editing and sometimes, I emphasize sometimes, your voice will make it into a video.

He was very protective of you, and still is. Especially because of the place he is in popularity.

In the beginning your conversations while speed running would always be either muted from his audience or either cut of from the extended manhunt videos.

Now he takes pride in having his significant other's voice in videos. He dosent cut out your conversations, except if they're too personal.

Or the kisses

Dream bought you roses on the first date, and now roses are such a special thing between you two.

Those little rose pendants for jewelry, fake roses to keep around his place, gifts things that reminded him of your first date with a rose that comes with it.

He gives you merch of course!

Your closet is full of Dream hoodies and a box full of milestone coins.

You always either get the prototype one or the first one made. Idk how he made that happen, but take his word for it.

You've meet "Drista" before, and you had met his family too!

His family adores you.

He has yet to meet yours, but one day he promises he will make a great first impression.

I would do into more detail, but Dream is one of the most caring, sweet, boyfriend's you'll ever have.

Sapnap!

My boyyyy

I love sapnap srs

Gentlemanᵗᵐ

He'll treat you like royalty

He's not the biggest fan of PDA but further into your relationship he got more comfortable with showing you love in public.

He loves hugs, lying together, just hugs and sitting you on his lap and resting his head on your shoulder.

You guys mostly have home dates for him to have an excuse to hold you all day.

The dates are mostly movie marathons with one of you laying ontop of one another

He loves cheek kisses btw.. all the time

Conversation between you two flows so naturally you could talk for hours about anything.

You try to convince him to have a podcast.

When you get too riled up his voice calms you and he knows that so he uses it to his advantage.

You two play fight alot, its never serious you two barely fight.

Also calling him his real name was the strangest thing to him.

Like Dream, it had to take some getting used too because their friends wouldn't call them by their real name (most of the time)

He adores nicknames for the both of you. You both have too many nicknames but the most popular one between you is 'angel'

You never sit in the same room while he plays video games, because he can scream very loud.

There probably has been noise complaints. And you wouldn't be surprised.

You'll always defend him no matter what. Even when the twitter stans get to him, he knows you'll be there without a doubt. Always ready to defend your man.

You're kinda protective of Sapnap, but he's more protective over you.

You two would defend eachother to the ends of the earth.

You trust him with hanging out with other people, but you just dont trust Twitter.

He loves showing you off to his community. He kept you a secret at first then gradually started saying "my significant other" and they caught on.

Sapnap isnt that much of a gift giver. He loves to spend more quality time with a person.

He likes to spend more time with you than buy you material things all the time.

But he gives you his merch, but then the rest of the clothes you get are his actual hoodies.

He's actually starting to miss his clothing so he asks for them back for them to inevitably end up back in your closet.

You and Sapnap are planning to take a trip to meet his parents and then make a weekend out of it.

Then the next stop is to meet yours and out of all the relationships you've had you're not nervous for him to meet your parents.

We love sapnap in this household and he would just be the best boyfriend srs

GeorgeNotFound! (George)

This man is so annoying

But like in an endearing way ya know?

He never fails to brighten up your day

Making you laugh

repeating phrases over and over again

poking you nonstop to get a reaction out of you

giving you long hugs that never seem to end

kissing you all over your face.

He is just so bright.

Hes the neighbors kid

George loves giving you affection whether its kisses or holding your hand he wants you to know he's there.

Even if you dont want him to he'll always want to be around you.

He loves skinship.

George loves walking around London finding stuff to do for dates.

He loves taking small roadtrips too so you get to see stuff around the area you wouldn't normally see.

Just walking around holding hands while making fun of anything you can see.

You two are out in public a lot so when George does his meetups with his friends and brings you along people would stop them and want to take pictures.

He'll introduce you as his significant other in public to fans who ask or notice, but online when his friends ask about his relationship he says "what relationship?" Even though his whole fanbase knows you two are dating.

His fanbase loves you two together, but sometimes they can get too much.

George couldn't care less about what his fanbase thinks if him and his relationship and he wants you do think the same because its not worth it.

Your voice sometimes appear in his videos when you comment on something he does in minecraft.

George doesn't like to put his personal life out on the internet so he still keeps secrets about yall relationship

All his community knows is that you're his significant other and you're "really cool" in George’s words.

You stay in his room when he's recording because he insisted that you stay.

Also he doesn't give you his merch, he refuses to and everytime you ask he just says "because I said so" and "I need the money"

He ends up giving you merch, you knew it was a bluff anways.

Dreams love language is gift giving

Sapnaps is quality time

and George’s is skinship like I said.

Hugs and kisses all the time. Even when your mad at him

You guys have so many inside jokes its ridiculous.

You say them around your friends and laugh just to annoy them.

You guys love to flaunt your relationship around. Showing off that "this is George’s jumper" and "oh this is y/n's necklace"

One time you threatened to cut George’s hair and he didnt speak to you for like an hour.

You already have a good relationship with him and his friends, but you havent met his family yet.

If your family lives out of the country you both plan to travel for him to meet your family.

If your family is in the same country you guys plan a month where you both meet eachothers parents in that same month.

George would be so proud that he got to meet your parents. And the same goes for you.

After all you both love a little road trip from time to time.

Anyways being georges significant other would be a 20/10 experience.

Taglist(s)

Dream Team Imagines: @bozowrites

MCYT Imagines: @annshit @bobaducky @malfoysslutt @egorldevi

[yuri-fan-atic]

Character Introspective - Noelle Holiday

Disclaimer: Almost all of this is speculation, so take all this with a grain of salt. That said, I hope my introspective will get you to think differently about these characters that may not be seen at first glance.

Introduction

The story of Noelle is an incoming tragedy. We catch a glimpse of this in chapter 1 with few mentions within her dialogue, but with the release of chapter 2 and her inclusion in the main cast we have a lot more insight into her story. More importantly we can also see what role Kris has within this tragedy.

Upon first glance in chapter 1, we see that Noelle is a nice doe that's helpful to Kris and seemingly has a crush on Susie, that much is said. We don't see her or hear any mention of her until after the events in the Dark World. We only see her again if we explore the hospital to find her talking to her dad, Rudy Holiday.

Here we can immediately see that Noelle's dad is extremely sick. There's even multiple death flags set up within these scenes that references Rudy's impending death, such as Noelle's manner of speaking and even Rudy asking Kris, the "creepy kid next door", to keep an eye on her while he's away. Already this has heavily implications of an incoming tragedy that will lead into a broken household.

From here we also learn that he sees Noelle as someone to be protected, and that she gets paralyzed with fear when confronted something scary. Some of this fear is extrapolated by Kris themself as we can tell that they're a vicious troublemaker. The list of crimes which includes hiding underneath Noelle's bed, faking their death by putting ketchup on their arms, that ICE-E was real and eat kids, and getting stuck in the Holiday's light displays. Here we can tell that Kris is experienced in breaking into their home, most likely motivated to pull pranks on Noelle.

More dialogue also reveals how close the Dreemurr family is close to the Holiday family. All of which centers how close college friends Asgore and Rudy were when they were younger. Kris' father even left him a large bouquet of flowers, indicating that he's someone very important to him.

Further on we can actually talk to Noelle again and get some interesting dialogue from her. Most of it is remarking on your interactions with Susie and how to better get closer to her. Her first reaction is automatically assuming Kris needs help with their homework. It seems that this also happens often before Noelle had to apologize for forgetting her keys. Furthermore we can note that Noelle can't ask their mother for the keys as she's very busy, saying that she'll stay at Catti's place. Noelle is obviously not on easy speaking terms with her mother, as no mother would neglect their child to allow entry into their house.

Talking to her more causes her to grow concerned as she notes Kris to not be a talkative person, much less someone that would visit someone's dad. Even Rudy suspected Kris if their mom talked to them into visiting him. Saying no has Rudy become impressed as Kris seemed to have matured over-night, albeit this is mostly simply due to the player's influence. We're pretty much forcing a social outcast and introvert to talk with literally everyone in town after all.

Now there is also some mention of "Dess" which is presumably a reference to Noelle's older sister. Dess being a nickname for December. Both times the name is mentioned when interacting with Noelle and the Paper Angel in our hospital visit. We learn that Dess used to be in Noelle's youth group and that she used to hit us with a wiffle-bat when we kept teasing Noelle.

Now that only leaves the question of who exactly is Noelle's mother?

Despite being locked out of her own house, Noelle doesn’t want to bother her mother. The known working women in town in chapter one includes Toriel, Alphys, Undyne, QC (the rabbit in the diner), and the mayor. The first four are previously known characters who cannot be Noelle’s mother. This leaves the mayor. Furthermore, the mayor’s assistant informs Kris that the mayor is too busy to see them.

We also see that due to her preference for the cold, the mayor is presumably a monster that fits in cold climates. A reindeer monster like Noelle and her father would be fitting.

While not decorated, the pine tree is the classic Christmas tree. Noelle’s family, the Holidays, are reindeers and have names associated with Christmas.

We also see that while Noelle’s house is unreachable, it can be seen in the town’s painting that it’s the huge house on the left side of town. Given her political position, it’s likely that the mayor lives in that house.

While not confirmed, we can safely assume that Noelle's mother is most likely the town's mayor. Chapter 2 also includes that Asgore was the town's former chief of police. This coincides will with both family's professions of being in leadership roles.

In chapter 2 we learn that Noelle's mother was particularly harsh on her, with only Rudy to bring her comfort while they both "balance each other out". We can assume that Noelle suffers from possibly motherly abuse, as that was this chapter's central theme with Queen. Much like how chapter one had to do with abusive fathers.

What's Noelle's Relationship with Kris? >

[formulax]

A Few Thoughts on Family -- Simon Nightingale

I have a “worrying” issue.

I've always had this problem. It was much worse when I was younger, and that’s when I started to keep a personal journal. Even if I wasn't completely honest with myself back then, putting my worries onto paper helped. I was writing them into a book that could be closed and put away. And... it helped me to work through my worries, in a way. Process them and organize them when they came to be too much. Thought is hardly ever simple, after all.

I've been Simon Nightingale for a month now— been myself for a month now. This quaint house has proven to be smaller than what I am used to from a home on land, of course, but the crew gave me more money than I can handle in this small town, and anyway, I’m more than happy with the decision I've chosen. It’s quiet and cozy here, and I'm living comfortably compared to life on a pirate ship.

I’m becoming part of the community. I take my walks to the library, to the market, to the Marigold household, and I've been recognized, been waved to. The librarians know me, and smile when I walk in. There is even a black cat I now feed that follows me to and from my home; company that is much appreciated.

I’ve missed this... but it's not quite the same, of course. I do not hold much social standing here, aside from being “a friend of Angel's,” which admittedly has gotten me a long way in gaining my own friends. But... well that's just it. I am a friend! Not a soldier, or a son of a naval officer. The townsfolk here dislike such people, anyhow, and I’m beginning to think I do as well.

With my newfound free time I've cataloged my experiences in the pirate world and written as much as I could about its wonders, and I’ve hit a bit of a block with it. Overwhelming myself with writing, I suppose. So I've been taking a few days to just exist in my new world, and look inwards at myself (which is something I am not accustomed to one bit).

I mention my “worrying” issue because I've been having a bit of trouble sleeping lately. When I think about Angel, Kipp, and Ezra, I start to feel that dreadful fear. They have not visited yet, and I know that they’re quite busy, but when you see someone every day for so long and then suddenly separate, it’s just... difficult. So, I am nervous. Terribly nervous. Afraid that they will never visit, that they will never return because something tragic has happened. I did ask them to send me a letter every time they stopped at a port.

It’s getting late, and I should rest, but I need to get this written down. Last night, as I was trying to sleep, I had a thought that disturbed me. I wondered if this is how my mother felt when I was away.

I did not send her many letters.

I’ve been spending time at the Marigolds’ place in the market, running errands and putting fresh fish on display for some extra money.

They told me a little bit about Angel.

They did not name him; he was left at an orphanage by his alleged parents, who we now know were Vincenzo Cielo and the (former) Guardian Mariah, with a note and the infamous amulet. The note had a vague explanation, a command to keep the baby loved and cared for, and Angel's name. The Marigolds took the child and heeded the note.

“You two’re good parents,” I said. “You care so much. How do you handle him being away? On dangerous quests, no less.”

Mrs. Marigold looked at her husband and smiled. “Our son is much too stubborn to die,” she said. They both chuckled. (They at times can be a little morbid.) “But anyway, he was in good hands with you, and he is now with Ezra and Kipp. You boys have good souls, you do.”

“He writes,” Mr. Marigold added. “When he’s able. He’ll write you. And it will be pages and pages long.”

It is past midnight, judging by the moon. I can’t sleep, and I need to get some things off my chest.

I am guilty. I will always be guilty, for the rest of my life, about leaving my mother behind as she died. I did not want to see her sick... but I did not want to see her sad either. She was often sad and it hurt my heart and I thought that there was nothing I could do to cheer her up. But somewhere deep down I knew that coming home as a Captain would make her even sadder, and that means that somewhere deep down I knew that she wanted me to quit. She was sad because of what I had become. It all seems so obvious now and it makes me so upset that I sometimes need to cry. It was a mistake to be away for so long. It was a mistake not to write her and tell her about the stars in the sky where I was. It was a mistake to disregard her just as everyone else in my family did.

She was SICK and she was SAD and she was ALONE. I feel like I KILLED her. And now I can never tell her I’m sorry, or show her how much I've changed for the better.

The black cat that has been following me around town is meowing at the window. I’m going to let her in and try again to sleep.

It’s the morning— I feel calmer than I did last night. Talking to the Marigolds about Angel got me thinking about my own parents, and... awful things just seem so much worse late at night. My thoughts got out of hand.

I... well. I did not have a tight knit family. My parents did not love each other— at least not while I was around— and my extended family was as cold as my father was. We did not talk about feelings; my parents hardly spoke to each other at all. I had no siblings, and I did not relate much to my younger cousins.

There was my mother and I, of course, but our relationship was often sabotaged, either by my father or by myself. I think he was jealous of her, of my similarities to her, and so grew to resent her. As I sought to impress my father, I began to resent her too, though I was never conscious of it, and never would have admitted it.

We were closer when I was younger. She held her ground on just a few things, one of them being my physical safety, and as a result I did not go on long trips with my father when I was a young child. I spent more time with her, then; she was my teacher, and I loved to hear her talk about her passions. She read me stories, she showed me local wildlife. We watched the stars for hours on end, and she would help me trace constellations with my finger. The world was so big, and we were so small, and she found that so magnificent.

She was the closest thing I had to a family. And I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had done things differently, but in the spirit of improving myself I know I have to own up to my mistakes, and accept them, no matter how terrible they make me feel. Life would have been so different if it had just been her and I— but that was never a possibility, and lingering in the past isn’t ideal, I know.

The thing is, I have a family now— it’s not conventional in the slightest, that’s for certain— but Angel, Kipp, even Ezra... I consider them family. I have been through so much with them, have watched them grow so much as people; and they have helped me grow, as well. They supported me at my worst, and helped me come to the decision to live like I do now. I miss them all, and it’s frightening to think that they’re out there without me, without my extra protection and guidance.

I don’t mean to sound self-centered. They can take care of themselves. It's just a matter of family. I just want to do things better this time.

I was helping the Marigolds at their shop today, and thank the Lord, a letter from Angel arrived! I just about hugged Mrs. Marigold when she handed over the one meant for me... Pages and pages long, like Mr. Marigold said.

Angel says things have been going well, but everyone is missing me. They’re headed off on another mission— Ezra reportedly had another Eye-induced dream— and they’ll head back in my direction after they’ve done that. He says he’s dying to know how I’ve been doing, and I better be missing them just as much. This is, of course, very condensed.

It is such a relief to hear from them, and I haven’t been able to stop re-reading the letter since I got it. It’s midday, and I’m in bed, the black cat sitting at my side. (She lingers in my house more often than outside now, and I don’t mind.)

Angel's last sentence to me was, “Don’t get too lost in your thoughts, Simon Nightingale— your mother would be so happy for you right now.”

I’ve never understood how he always knows exactly what to say.

[steepgan]

someone dear (i) — d. ragnvindr x f!reader

PART I - PART II - PART III

bye i created this on a whim ive always wanted to write an mc who just likes money yet still carries the “happiness/freedom” ideals of mondstadt.. essentially its an mc whos like hell yeah i love money <3 and fun..!!! okay also i did not edit this at all i was just like <3 writing time baby..

Of course, working for the wealthiest gentleman in Mondstadt was no easy task. There were two places you could work: Dawn Winery or Angel’s Share. The winery, settled in the countryside, was a cozy job with friendly workers who saw rolling hills of green every day; however, the only available occupation within your skillset was being a maid. So you worked at Angel’s Share which was planted in the city, and there you were greeted with weary workers and angry people. It was plenty more fun, anyway.

Your boss was as impassive as a tree, giving you your pay and leaving you be. He kept a strange emotional distance. Which was fine. Totally fine. But whenever you wanted a raise, his aloof attitude warded you off and you’d tell yourself you’d try next time.

Growing up in a household where money was a prominent figure in your life, you had materialistic values and a great love for money. So during your employment at the tavern, you picked up more shifts than anyone else and seldom splurged. You were stuck giving your laments to your friends and returning customers who were kind enough to humor wails.

“One of these days, Lisa, I’m actually going to lose it,” you said to the librarian of the knights. You slumped your body on the bar, clearly in a professional fashion. “What do you want to drink?”

Lisa gave you a pitying look. “You could always become a knight or an adventurer. They receive plenty of pay through commissions.”

“No, thank you! I kind of want to live.”

“I don’t think I’ll have anything to drink,” Lisa said. She laughed at your sullen expression. “Today, at least. I have to explore these ruins later today. I really, really don’t want to, but Jean is making me.”

You slid a tin can labelled TIPS to Lisa. “Every time you don’t want to do something it’s five mora.”

“Since when did this become a thing?”

“It’s always been a thing. I was just giving you a family-friend discount up until now.”

Lisa dropped the coins into the can. You smiled at the sound of click-clank. Lisa rested her cheek on the palm of her hand and said, “have you ever thought about… not working for the tavern? I’m sure there are other places in the world that’ll appreciate your pleasant company.”

“Yeah, but Master Diluc pays the best in Mondstadt if you don’t have a decent education under your belt,” you said dryly. “I’d have to travel out of Mondstadt to find a better opportunity.”

“There’s always the cathedral,” Lisa offered. 

“Do you see me as a devout follower to any god other than money? [Name], Humble Follower of Barbatos Since The Beginning! Engrave that on my tombstone, would you?”

“I don’t really want to do that.”

You pushed the tin can toward the librarian.

Lo and behold, the man of the hour strutted in with his typical apathy. If he carried himself with a more open chest and with his chin up, you’d find him more agreeable, more approachable. He’d be knightly, even. But Diluc hated knights. He hated small talk, too. He hated a lot of things.

He was a man of good looks and good fortune, in addition to being Mondstradt’s most eligible brooding bachelor bastard, donning a nice black coat with golden trimmings and tassels. A coat that’d fetch a nice price if you were to pawn it off. Not that you were thinking about selling your boss’ clothes. He stood at a decent height with his vermillion messy hair tied back and narrow eyes framed with thick lashes. 

When Diluc walked through the doors, he didn’t spare you a glance before climbing up the stairs to deal with some other matters. As long as you did your job, he didn’t bother you.

Lisa whistled. “He’s so cold.”

“Pays well, though,” you murmured absentmindedly. Lisa looked as if she wanted to say something. Maybe it was something about how money didn’t exactly suffice for human relationships. Or something about her future job for the knights. Whatever was on the tip of her tongue, she chose not to say it, and dropped a few more mora coins into your little tin can.

Your relationship with Diluc was strange. You took enough shifts to be one of the most well-compensated workers under him, but you didn’t exactly know Diluc outside of his cool exterior. You didn’t know if you’d wanted to, either. Some nights, he’d come home right before the tavern’s opening, his clothes tattered and dirty and a grim feature coating his pretty features.

Typically you’d be working and cleaning, and you’d nod to him. Diluc would then take off to the second floor of the tavern. You never questioned it. You never would, either, unless you were paid to do so. 

One late night, it was just you cleaning up for the night and Diluc sitting at the bar, going through some papers. Diluc offered to take Charles’ shift for the day, to which the man was grateful for. As you were wiping down the bar, Diluc said, “I never knew we had a tip jar.”

“It’s an ongoing gag with Lisa,” you said. “Please don’t mind it.” It wasn’t a lie, exactly. It was a joke with Lisa! You simply kept it out on the counter for every customer to see all day and all night. If they happen to drop mora in there for your charming smile and excellent service, who were you to stop them?

Diluc said nothing. You hadn’t expected him to. He’d let it slide, you supposed. If the tavern had a best employee of the month award, you would have won it consecutively for the last few years you’d been employed under the pretty man. However, Diluc was no great lover of trivial awards that were actually poorly concealed incentives, and as long as you were paid accordingly, you didn’t care about awards, either.

“If you needed a raise then say it,” he said suddenly. And you were surprised.

“Thank you,” you said.

“No need.”

When you left the tavern you squealed. Patton, the caller, awoke from his nap from a chair supposedly for customers. His legs had been propped on the accompanying table, which you had cleaned earlier so you didn’t have to deal with a certain customer who had too much to drink inside.

Patton rubbed his eyes groggily. “What’s up, [Name]?”

“I got a raise!” you exclaimed. “I’m so happy I could kiss you right now, Patton.”

“Please don’t,” he said. “What’s that in your hand?”

“Oh, leftovers.” You gave the small bag you were holding a good jostle. “It’s for the dog up there. I have a habit of feeding him every once in a while whenever there’s good scraps.”

Patton eyed you. “If you get bit and infected with rabies, maybe I’ll take your raise. Try and pet it for me, would you?”

“In your dreams, Patton.”

After a few taunts and banter, you left Patton alone. In a few hours, you’d come back to the tavern to work more. Before your mom had been hospitalized, you’d maybe put your extra money to treat yourself to Good Hunter or to buy new clothes. 

Of course, while money was one of your many goals, you had other aspirations as well. More than anything, you’d like to resume a humble life in Mondstadt. If you could afford it, then you’d travel to Liyue and sightsee. And then maybe a little further. But you’d always return to Mondstadt. It was just home to you, and you liked home.

You crouched and fed the dog. He pressed his snout into your palm, warm and comforting. You giggled and finished the leftovers from your little sack. As much as Patton wanted you to die of infection, the dog was very tame and kind toward you. He let you brush his fur and scratch behind his ears. If you had enough patience and enough time, you’d teach him to bite Patton.

The next day, you were working with Charles, as per usual. He’d been working here far longer than any of you. You’d been employed here for a while now, and you’d come to know the man quite well after rowdy nights and quiet days in the tavern. He despised a drunk customer as much as you, but whenever you were on shift with him, he always offered to take care of it.

If not you, then Charles would get the nonexistent employee of the year award.

“Just put up a work wanted poster,” Charles said, cleaning a glass. “Judging by our usuals, we won’t get an honest inquiry for it in a while.”

You, who’d been making an apple cider, said, “oh, for the boars?” While you did want to work at the winery for its pleasant view and people, there were boars who’d been uprooting vines and you did not want to tussle with a boar. 

“Say, [Name], you heard of the Darknight Hero?”

“Who hasn’t?” you asked. “My friends talk about him all the time. Everyone likes a good mystery around these parts. Have you seen the library? Oh, and the idea of him being handsome isn’t that bad… Do you think he’s rich, Charles?”

Charles snorted. “If he can afford to leave at night to protect Mondstadt, then he must be rich. He’s no worker like us, but he’s definitely noteworthy. He may as well just be an urban rumor, though, so don’t go around trying to seduce him only to get into his pockets.”

“I would never!”

“I saw you make eyes at a customer who was wearing very fine jewelry that could be pawned off for a high price.”

“I liked her eyes. They were kind. Reminded me of a princess from a fairytale.”

Diluc came from upstairs to the first floor. He was the same as he’d always been—closed off, calm, and collected. Fitting. He cast a quick glance at you and Charles before disappearing outside onto the streets of Mondstadt.

“That’s Master Diluc for you,” Charles said. “So elusive you could call him a ghost. A handsome, ghost, that is.”

“I barely know anything about him,” you said. “Elusive is correct, if not absolutely distant.”

“Really? You should talk to him more often.”

There was already a set difference between you and Charles. Firstly, it would be the years working at Angel’s Share. Charles knew Diluc more than you did. You wanted to point this out, but instead you slumped your shoulders. “He’s just so unapproachable, Charles. You wouldn’t understand. That mustache of yours makes you look amicable and agreeable.”

Charles self-consciously twirled the end of his mustache. He looked as if he wanted to say something. He turned back to his work, setting the clean glass down. “You and Master Diluc seem to complement each other, that’s all.”

You were very friendly and a good person underneath all your materialistic values. Had it not been for Diluc’s offstandish personality, maybe you and Diluc would be a little more than boss and employee. Maybe you and Diluc would be friends.

Of course, your main focus was your happiness and sanity. If you’d interacted with Diluc outside of work, you might’ve gone insane. Oh! And money. It was always money. You watched a customer drop a few mora into the tip jar.

PART I - PART II - PART III

[traumacatholic]

I'm having a lot of problems with my family. Could you please pray for us?

Of course! You might find some benefit from:

O God of goodness and mercy, to Thy fatherly guidance we commend our family, our household and all our belongings. We commit all to Thy love and keeping; do Thou fill this house with Thy blessings even as Thou didst fill the holy House of Nazareth with Thy presence. Keep far from us, above all else, the blemish of sin, and do Thou alone reign in our midst by Thy law, by Thy most holy love and by the exercise of every Christian virtue. Let each one of us obey Thee, love Thee and set himself to follow in his own life Thine example, that of Mary, Thy Mother and our Mother most loving, and that of Thy blameless guardian, Saint Joseph. Protect us and our house from all evils and misfortunes, but grant that we may be ever resigned to Thy divine will even in the sorrows which it shall please Thee to send us. Finally give unto all of us the grace to live in perfect harmony and in the fullness of love toward our neighbor. Grant that every one of us may deserve by a holy life the comfort of Thy holy Sacraments at the hour of death. O Jesus, bless us and protect us. Oh Most Immaculate Virgin, Daughter of God the Father, Spouse of the Holy Spirit, and Mother of Jesus Christ our Savior, you are the perfect example of human relationship with the Divine Will. Help us, O Most Holy Mother, to heal the broken bonds within our families, our friendships, and all our other relationships. Help us to love others the way that Christ loves us with self-sacrificing love. In particular, heal my relationship with (state intentions here). Intercede for us O Holy Daughter, Spouse, and Mother, so that through the mercy of God, the chains of division will be broken, uniting us once again as you are ever united to the Most Holy Trinity. We ask this in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Saint Joseph, foster-father of our Savior, guardian of His holy Mother, head of the Holy Family, intercede for us, bless us and defend our home at all times. Saint Michael, defend us against all the evil cunning of hell. Saint Gabriel, make us to understand the holy will of God. Saint Raphael, preserve us from all sickness and from every danger to our lives. Our holy Guardian Angels, keep our feet safely on the path of salvation both day and night. Our holy Patrons, pray for us before the throne of God. Yea, bless this house, O God the Father, who hast created us; O God the Son, who hast suffered for us upon the holy Cross, and Thou, O Holy Spirit, who hast sanctified us in holy Baptism. May the one God in three divine Persons preserve our bodies, purify our minds, direct our hearts and bring us all to everlasting life. Glory be to the Father, glory be to the Son, glory be to the Holy Spirit. Amen.

[theobxhummingbird]

Little love. -Luke Patterson x Reader.

Summary: A few songs, to confessions and apologies.

Here are the requests:  Heya! If requests are still open, can I please request a JATP Luke fic where both him and the reader are alive, and Luke and the reader both write music but the reader is down because of family reasons and cant seem to write, so Luke writes a song for her to help inspire her and he tells her he had fallen for her and it’s super duper fluffy and cuddly and sweet at the end ✨🥺

Platonic! Alive! Reggie, Luke and Alex (jatp) x Reader where she is the youngest in the band and starts sleeping at the studio more and more? The boys get worried until they find out her dad kicked her out. Maybe soft Luke, Reggie and Alex protective older brother cuddles? Sorry this didn’t really make sense! 

A/N: I wrote songs for the imagine--seriously...🥺 Judge them, hate them, love them, I won’t be mad, because they’re ridiculous. Thank you to the requests and enjoy the imagine.

They could be heard from the street, and it made all the lights flicker in the neighborhood houses. The people were wondering what’s being thrown in the Y/L/N household, until everything was very clear to them. Together with a backpack, and her guitar bag, the door shut in front of Y/N’s face. Her chin touched her chest, and she started sobbing. Reaching for the backpack and the guitar, Y/N started walking away from the house. 

She was supposed to be at rehearsal on time, and the four boys were waiting for her. But they didn’t expect her to come inside so slowly, and quietly get behind the piano. They had written a song, and it was the first trying it with the instruments. Luke, Reggie, Bobby, Alex; they were all trying to do their best, while playing the piano, came as an escape for Y/N, and they couldn’t notice anything wrong with her. But they changed their view on her state, when she looked up at them; as her eyes spoke the language of sadness.

-Are you okay? –said Alex, holding her shoulder.

-Yes—I am—just wanted to tell you that I’ll write some music first then leave the studio, so leave me the keys.

-Here captain. –Reggie dropped them in her hand, and gave her a hug, as all three boys followed him, Luke hugging her a bit longer.

-You’ll be fine. –he said, and pinched her nose, before heading for the door. Was she? Y/N didn’t even know herself. Her chin rested on her knees, as tears flooded her eyes again. It was the first time she had ever argued with her parents, with the outcome of them getting way too mad at each other, and ending it with kicking their daughter out.

-Why me? Why do I always have to take the faultiness? –she cried into her knees. The night was long, and Y/N was alone in the studio. Only, now, lit by a lamp, she took out her journal, and a pen. She was ready to spill out everything into words, which was the best way of reminiscing the words of her parents. Believe in me; she wrote at the top of the notebook.

 “That night I heard, a broken voice from a bird, and by every word, I couldn’t feel no more.” She scribbled words and then sentences, until it turned into a complete song: “Believe in me, I’m not a lie, what I love is what I never hide. And those empty streets, that are filled with melodies, you’re hurting with your dissimilarities.”

-The morning came, and she wasn’t even aware, until a big shadow hovered over her, blocking the sunlight that was warming her face.

-Y/N, wake up. –said a soft voice, as it nudged her slowly.

-Guys? –she stared at Luke, Reggie and Alex. 

–What are you doing here—so—early?

-What are you, doing here so early? –said Reggie, -And why are you sleeping on the couch?

-I was—waiting for you and uh—had fallen asleep.-Oh—okay—then let’s get started with rehear- 

-Wait Reggie, wait. –said Alex, and the guy stood back on his spot, -You’re lying to us, I can see it in your eyes. It’s not the look, when you’re telling the truth.

-Something was up with you since last night. And I didn’t say anything to you, thinking an alone time is what you need, but I can’t pretend that I don’t realize those pleading eyes. –said Luke, and sat down next to her.

-My dad kicked me out of the house last night. –she said.

Reggie gasped, but Alex’s reflex was quick to shut his mouth, by putting his hand on Reggie’s mouth and giving him a glare.

-Why? Did you have an argument?

-He didn’t approve his seventeen-year-old daughter, to play in a rock band. I tried to calmly talk to him, but he started yelling. We’ve had a financial crisis at home for a long time, and he took it out on me making music. Why does he think I’m making music? Only because I think of myself and my dreams? No, I also do it to help my parents. To give them as much as they’ve given me. But he didn’t even listen to me; just threw everything we had in the house, then—kicked me out.

-Did you give them a call, or did they—give you—never mind. –started Alex, but then threw an arm around Y/N’s shoulder, to comfort her.

-Never mind, I’ll fix this myself. I have a song. I mean—if you want to read it.

Luke took her journal, and opened to the page she told him, and quickly moved his eyes through the lyrics, and smiled at the words, -It’s beautiful. We’ll try the music for it later. Alex engulfed her in a hug, followed by Reggie, then by Luke. She melted into the shield of the three muscular boys. They projected warmth and love, that it was the easiest thing for her, to just tell them what she feels, because she knew they’ll first listen, then make a comment.

-I love you guys. –she wiped away her tears, and fixed herself. They brought breakfast along the way, and Y/N made the table so they could eat.

-I think we should write a song about hotdogs, you know? –Reggie spoke with his mouth full. –Just as a reminder, we should never eat them from wherever.

-You’re lucky you didn’t die, for else we would’ve written it on your stone. –said Alex.

-Y/N, we need to finish writing that song. –said Luke, as he looked at her not so concentrated self. Her fork sluggishly moved around the food, and she barely took a bite out of it. 

-Huh—yeah, sure, we’ll finish it. 

And they did. It was a beautiful song. He thought she wouldn’t be able to think of anything, but emotions had trapped her hard, that she thought of very breathtaking lines. They even tried it with the music, and were ready to add it onto the lists of the songs for the album.

-

Her head was slowly falling, and the boys decided to stay with her that night, and not leave her alone in the studio. Reggie was half asleep on the other couch, while Alex played with his drumsticks. Luke was holding his guitar, trying to think of some new words. Y/N’s head fell on her shoulder, and she was asleep, just like Reggie. 

Luke looked over, to see her peacefully, with pouted lips, asleep next to him. It was painful seeing her in an uncomfortable position, so he picked her up in his hands, and placed her nicely on the couch, throwing a blanket over her body. Luke sat there for hours, observing her as she slept, and thought about the history the both of them had. He’s been observing her like that for a long time; since the day they met each other, but never knew how to express how he feels, scared it’s only one-sided.

The pen moved on the paper, making little dents as he wrote. Words were spilling out, as his eyes glanced at her, analyzing every detail of her face. Little love

- LITTLE LOVE

Closed eyes, pursed lips, one by one they tell me your sides,

Will I be able to fix what you feel?

Can I tame those wild tides?

And can I give a little love,

To my angel, of all the above.

 Don’t remember them breaking words, 

I don’t know, if there’s something you can remember,

But just leave them behind, and I’ll be your heart’s tender.

 And just like a free bird,

Fly away from what you heard,

Brush away your pride,

And swim away with your sorrow tide.

But before you go, can I get little love,

Can I get those peaceful eyes?

And those warm lips,

To break away some of them boundaries? 

 Reggie and Alex were now, both, asleep, and Luke was alone with his written song. He tried to persuade himself into the confession through the song, without hurting her, because he knew she had such a hard time at the moment. But the next day, when he found a chance to be alone with her, Luke pulled her hand, and they both sat on the couch. He positioned his guitar, and gave her the written song. He started playing, and singing the words.

 Y/N’s mouth fell apart, as her eyes widened a bit. She couldn’t even breathe in the moment, because Luke’s soft eyes didn’t leave hers, while he shot the words at her. He was such a sweet person, and she now remembered how much she admired him for the way all his emotions could be heard from his lyrics. But these—she thought she understood wrong, until the guitar dropped on the floor, and his hands were cupping her face. Their lips melted into each other, as her tears pecked his face. It was a moment of relief, and he couldn’t be more in need to take all her pain, and keep it to himself, so she doesn’t have to go through it.

-I love you. -he whispered when they split apart, and finally looked into her eyes.

-Our feelings are mutual, Luke Patterson. I love you too. And this song—is—just—perfect; flawless.

-Just like you. And I know you won’t agree, but I’ve never seen someone so responsible for everything in their life. You’ll get through this; we’ll get through this. You have my support and love like you always did.

-They won’t want me back, Luke.

-Yes they will, trust me. They’re your parents, and if there’s something the most important in their life, that’s you; their daughter. And I don’t doubt, they’re waiting for you. So—let’s go, we’ll fix this together, I’ll hold your hand till the house. You are doing what you love, and you’re doing it well, and it would be a loss if you leave it.

-Thank you so much for being next to me. Always. –she snuggled into him.

-I’ll forever hold you in my arms whenever something goes wrong. But just know, I’m doing everything so you don’t cry.

-I know; I hope I’ll be as sweet as you are. Writing me songs, and taking care of me.

-You’re already doing that, bird. You have your precious love, bewitch me. Isn’t that enough? –he kissed her forehead, and  gestured her so they could leave for her parents’ house. 

That night, not only were the boundaries between Luke and Y/N taken away, but also between her and her family. Now, they let her explain herself, and express the love for music, and all that was in their hands was to agree on her profession. As well as approve the relationship with the beautiful boy, that had as much as love for music as her—as well as for Y/N.       

[cdwindowss]

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[fullersunnyy]

To hell and heaven,

Jaemin, was reincarnated by the King of hell, Lucifer to be one of the stationed stewards on earth. Hell produces thousands of stewards from lost souls that were stuck inside the gates of purgatory. It's getting crowded in there, what do you expect? A steward’s job is to protect its designated child until the age of eighteen against any type of harm. Failure to do so will result in subtraction of heavenly points and a slim chance of entering the gates of heaven. They were sculpting their horns to earn their wings at the same time. Jaemin was assigned to be Arella’s steward on his first day. Arella was still a newborn when Jaemin first laid his eyes on her. Her tiny hands wiggled as she saw Jaemin eyeing her from her father’s shoulder. She looks like rainbows and unicorns. He thought. As Arella grew up, Jaemin’s love and the need to protect her grew too, even stretched like a trampoline. He set fire to the world around her, but never let a flame touch her. When he was reincarnated to be a steward, no traces about him or his past life remained in his memory. His mind was blank. Pure blank. His memories vanished like an amateur magician. Arella filled the void inside his mind with new memories to cherish, nonetheless. “If you couldn’t remember a single thing then, just think about me. You’d be alright.” Arella said while tracing small circles around Jaemin’s cold cheeks. “I will, angel.” Jaemin knew the rules, even knew about the danger of falling in love. But just like everybody else, he broke it. Arella just turned seventeen. “One more year.” He whispered quietly as he watched her pick the most beautiful flower in the garden. Arella can calm the storm that would cloud his mind in an instant. She was his heaven and his hell at the same time. He needed her more than she needed him. Some women can cast a spell that will last forever, and Arella is one of them. Jaemin thought. She casted a spell of identity and belonging with Jaemin’s pure, yearning heart. “You’d really vanish into oblivion when I turn eighteen?” She asked while holding Jaemin’s hands like it’s the most fragile thing in the world. “I will. We’re not like the rest of you in this household, angel. We’re not made of skin and flesh but instead we’re made of every soul’s regrets, unsolved what if’s, and great agony. We don’t belong here.” He uttered with such disappointment in his eyes. She hugged him for this is the only thing they can do- be each other’s warmth in the midst of the cold, pinning storm. “Damn the heavens and the God of fate for not allowing us to be each other's comfort in this lifetime.” “Mhm. The only thing standing in between you and me is reality. We’re almost there. Just … almost.” Arella’s eighteenth birthday will happen the day after tomorrow. Jaemin was anxious. He’d fall back to hell in an instant and Arella would forget about him. Everything about them. He cursed heaven and hell just so he could talk to his creator. God? Lucifer? He wasn’t sure either. After an angry thunderstorm and lightning, Lucifer appeared before him. “What do we have here, poor thing?” He said while dusting off the mud in his cape. Jaemin let out a deep sigh. This is it, it's now or never. He thought. “I’d like to become human. Claim my soul in the next lifetime. Just … let me be with the woman I love.” He uttered, almost in a slur. Lucifer nodded in dismay, “You poor, poor, thing! I already told you during the orientation that mortals are tempting! They are the most exquisite form of destruction!” “Claim my soul. Burn it, torture it, play with it. I don’t care. Just mold me into skin and flesh again and I’ll serve you willingly, my Lord.” He scoffed, “Devils don’t do that, poor thing. I’ll grant you your wish but you’ll lose everything about her. Her name, how her face looked like during sun dusk, the image of her smiling while you play with her hair. Everything.” “Mhm. Go on.” Jaemin replied with lips shaking from excitement. “You need to remember her. You need to find her in the next lifetime. Failure to do so will earn you a spot in the fourth circle of hell. Can you do that?” “The mind forgets, but the heart remembers.” He finished. ‘Twas the night before Arella’s eighteenth birthday, he was staring at her, tracing every part of her face just so he could remember her in the next lifetime. “When you wake up tomorrow, I'll be gone. Remember me, angel.” He said while cupping Arella’s face. “There are sudden goodbyes that hurt but ours were different. I will remember you, always.” The stars twinkled in her eyes and the sun warmed her smile. “My angel, you are worth it all. I wish I had found you earlier in life. See you in the next lifetime.” He loved her, she loved him but it wasn’t that simple. Lucifer granted Jaemin his wish. He was born in the same lifetime with the love of his life. Now, the question is will he remember her? Will she remember the poems he wrote on her skin with his lips? Every night as he succumbed to his dreams, he’d always see her. He’d smell the peachy scent of her hair, or how her eyes twinkled like the stars, the way her hips moved when she walked, or the way she uttered his name. But who is she? Jaemin thought. He was walking along the empty street of their neighborhood when he bumped into someone. “Watch where you’re going asshat!” The girl yelled on the top of her lungs. Jaemin scoffed and raised an eyebrow, “Excuse me, but you’re the one who bumped me!” The girl looked up, her eyes glistened while her hair swayed in a very alluring manner. He felt like he knew those eyes better than anyone else. The peachy smell of her dark, shiny hair, the way her lips curved when she talked and the way her skin felt against his. Some memories never leave your bones. Like salt in the sea; they become part of you- and you carry them. Always. How strange to dream of you even when I am wide awake. Can you still feel me loving you, my angel? He thought. “A-Arella? Did you forget everything that I’ll always remember?” Jaemin asked. “I found you, angel. Finally.” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt and replied, “I’m sorry, my name is Seraphina. Perhaps you’re looking for my mom? Her name is Arella.”

[2-cute-4-school]

Hiraeth

Group : NCT

Pairing : Lee Donghyuck/Haechan x f!Reader

Genre : fluff, angst

Word count : 4K words - Part 1

Mafia AU   |   M.list

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 - Final 

Chapter summary :  “Y/N please tell me you’ll always love me.” |  “You know I do. I love you and I’ll keep loving you no matter what.”

“Hiraeth - (n) a homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was.”

Haechan was always by her side, her guardian angel and her partner in crime at the same time. Sure, he wasn’t ecstatic about having a little girl around them at all times in the beginning, but Taeyong was their leader and what he said had to be done. He remembered the day he met her so clearly, a lasting impression on him.

Taeyong had told them beforehand that a new member was going to arrive, but none of them ever expected her. Their squad was made up of only boys so seeing a frail girl trailing behind their leader left them shocked and frozen in their spots. Her eyes were wide, scanning her new surroundings and future teammates while tightly griping Taeyong’s shirt until her knuckles turned white. She tried to put on a brave face, but anyone with a decent sight could see that she was trembling like a leaf.

He later learned her name, Y/N and that she was training for the spy position. Same as Haechan. They seemed to be around the same age but he still felt a strong need to protect her, shield her from any harm. She looked so small that day, meeting the other members who swarmed her as soon as she peeked out from behind their leader. The way her face broke into a grin as she found out she would be training alongside Haechan as spies broke his hard exterior and made him decide he would take her under his wing.

And now, years later, Y/N became the light in the endless night, a breath of fresh air after drowning in the fast waters of a rushing river, although neither Haechan nor the rest of the boys would ever tell her that. But it could be seen in the way they looked at her, drops of honey and stardust swimming in their eyes whenever they caught sight of her or in the relieved exhale of air whenever she hugged them, her warmth enveloping them like a comfort blanket. It was the subtle hints that showed their love for her and the other way around.

“Y/N, I’m going to murder you!”

“Taeyong told me to wake you up, why are you such a bitter bitch?”

“I’m not the bitch here, dear”

“Is it because of old age, Doyoung? I know old people can get easily irritated, but damn gurl, you’re on another level”

A vein popped at Doyoung’s temple and he deeply breathed in, trying to keep his composure before he went nuts and burned down the entire household.

“Y/N, I’ll give you three seconds to vanish from before my eyes”

And she didn’t need more as she zoomed past the rest of them, her giggles echoing around the hallways.

“This is what I get out of raising children” Doyoung sighed before plopping down on the couch beside the younger ones.

To be honest, Haechan wanted to murder both of them. As much as he liked making fun of his members, being dragged out of his room for an unknown reason wasn’t on his to-do list today. He simply wanted to play some video games with his roommate Johnny and Y/N, maybe eradicate their self-confidence when it came to survival games with his unmatched skills. What he didn’t want right now was petty bickering, even though it’s usually his forte.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by the slam of the front door. Taeyong stormed inside, draping his coat and leaving his shoes by the door. His hair seemed messy and his movements were quite tense, very unlike for him.

“Are all of you here?”

No greetings, no smile. Something was going on.

Y/N trudged back in the living room with Yuta in tow, hearing the ruckus created by Taeyong’s hurried entrance. She sat down on the arm of the couch, beside Mark. Haechan took a moment to look at her. Her eyes turned serious, no glint of mischief in them anymore, her lips set in a straight line. Haechan gulped before turning his eyes back to their leader.

“Yes, what’s going on, Taeyong?” Taeil voiced out all of their thoughts. He also seemed tense, it was very weird that Taeyong hadn’t told him anything beforehand.

“I know none of you will like this, but we have a new mission” 

Everyone looked at each other. Missions weren’t anything new and it’s been quite some time since the last time they all went on one so they didn’t understand Taeyong’s worry.

“Alright, so? Things were starting to get boring anyway, so I don’t think anyone minds. What’s the job?” Johnny seemed even more content than the others at the mention of a mission

“Park Ji-won and his goons are having a party. All rich and influential people are invited. They’re probably trying to make connections with powerful people, maybe get them involved in their business. Wendy said he’ll have a USB flash drive with him. It contains future plans and reports of his actions if we get our hands on that he’s done for. Unfortunately, we’re not sure where it will be exactly. He probably won’t have it on him, it would be too risky, but other than that it could be anywhere in the house although his office seems most likely.”

Park Ji-won, the leader of one of the most powerful gangs in the country, a master of assassinations and other dirty deals and NCT’s biggest threat. He hunted them down with every chance he got and killed any allies of Taeyong’s he could. Everyone knew it would be a hard mission. 

Johnny was the first one to break the silence.

“We can handle this, we’ve handled worse”

Taeyong bit his lip, anxiety showing on his face.

“The mission is tomorrow evening”

Silence. And then chaos. Questions and remarks were flying everywhere, most members in shock before Taeil shushed everyone. He looked Taeyong in the eyes, his glare ice cold.

“Do we have a plan already?”

Taeyong sighed before answering.

“Nothing out of the ordinary. Y/N and Haechan will go in dressed up, blend in with the crowd. The hackers will stay here and monitor everything with some of us. The rest will wait in cars scattered near the party. I’ll fill in our spies with some info about the people there and come up with an inside plan, but that’s all”

Haechan’s hands started to sweat and his breathing became irregular. His mind was running wild and he seemed restless. His heart seemed to climb up his throat and jump out any minute. Haechan knew what this meant.

“Taeyong, this is too rushed and you know Ji-won isn’t a man to mess with” Taeil tried reasoning calmly.

“We’ll have to, this is a one time chance”

“BULLSHIT!” Johnny exploded. His excitement from earlier seemed to turn into anger at the announcement of the time of their mission “This is bullshit and you know it, Taeyong! What you’re doing is sending us, sending them” he gestured wildly to the couch where Y/N and Haechan were seated with wide eyes “on a suicide mission.”

“No, I’m not. We have a plan, as long as we don’t stray from it we’ll be fine”

Johnny was seething. He gritted his teeth, barely containing himself from exploding. Anyone could see his clenched fists by his side.

“I’ll shove this poor excuse of a plan so far up your ass it will reach your brain and unclog this shitty mindset of yours, I swear to God-”

“Let’s stop this, please” Y/N voice was weak, any smaller and no one would have heard her. She was looking at her elders fighting with a sore expression on her face “If we have to do this, let’s at least try to come up with something better, this is no usual mission.”

Taeil sighed as he gently pushed Johnny back.

“She’s right, you’re acting like clowns, did the hair dye fry through your scalp and to you neurons?’”

His words seemed to cool down the room, but burn Haechan’s heart. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was in the early hours of the morning when they finally settled. Although their plan didn’t stray too much from the original one, details were added and the spies knew perfectly what they had to do. Things were still riskier than ever and tension was high in the air of the dorm.

Y/N stayed close to Haechan the entire time, his presence calming her down. As long as he was there beside her, she felt as if nothing could touch them, neither one would allow it. Over the years, their bond that first started as a simple partnership soon developed into what they liked to call a soulmate bond. They could understand each other without words and trust tied them together tighter than anything else.

“You should head to bed, bub. You need all the rest you can get.” A warm hand petted her hair, as she lifted her head to meet Johnny’s eyes. He could see the unspoken anxiety behind her fatigued orbs and he wanted nothing more but to wrap her in a fluffy blanket and protect her forever. But everyone knew it would never be possible.

Y/N tried to offer a smile, but it was weak and it didn’t meet her eyes. She was clearly feeling oddly off about their mission too.

“Right, goodnight then.” She lifted herself off from the armrest of the couch and began trudging back into her room, which she shared with Haechan. Said boy didn’t waste another second before following her.

“And kids?” Johnny waited a second until they both turned their heads towards him “Don’t worry too much, we won’t let anything happen to you.”

He smiled kindly, showing his fatherly side which surfaced only around them and it was enough to get Y/N to smile, even in the slightest while muttering a broken ‘thank you’ before continuing her short walk to the bedroom.

Haechan instead lingered a few more moments, eyes shining as he stared at Johnny’s retreating back. He shook his head as if snapping himself out of a trance and rushed to catch up to Y/N, who was already fluffing up her pillows to settle down.

As she finally stretched herself out on her mattress, Haechan hesitated nervously near her. His bed looked cold and lonely and right then, his mind wouldn’t have been able to achieve peace without the help of his lifeline. His soul was too agitated and his heart was beating erratically, almost shattering his rib cage to escape its dark prison and find itself into the warm hands of their real owner, the girl whose eyes would disgrace all the stars in the sky.

“Are you going to fall asleep while standing or do you plan on joining me?”

She could read him like an open book. Through just a few words, Y/N could rip his thoughts out of his fuzzy mind and present them on his sleeve.

Haechan said nothing as he dragged his feet over to her bed and plopped down beside her. Without a second thought, he wrapped her in a protective cocoon of his arms, trapping her against his chest. He worried for a second. What if she could hear his heart? What explanation would he have for the way it betrayed him and threatened to simply jump out at her mere presence? That he was more afraid of losing her than losing anything else in the world? That he wanted to end his own pathetic self at the thought of the next day? That losing her meant his end, the edge of his sanity that he would throw out the window?

“I’m scared.”

It was only the second time he ever heard these words coming out of her mouth. The first time was on her first mission when he had to hold her hand all the way to the house they had to infiltrate in, just to keep her grounded. But that was such a long time ago when she had no experience in the field and her innocence was still intact. So hearing her say these words now unsettled him greatly.

“Why?”

“Is that even a question?”

“We’ve been on countless missions before, we’ll be fine.”

“No, no we haven’t. Not on one like this.”

“Y/N, as long as we stick to the plan, nothing will be different.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Neither did we before any of the past missions.”

She went silent. Y/N knew he was right, but she could only admire curiously the firmness in his voice. Was he really this fearless or did he only keep up this facade to lessen her worry?

“Maybe you’re right.”

“You know I am.”

“Shut up, Hyuck”

He softly laughed at her tone as he let his fingers run through strands of her hair as if mesmerized by the way she was really there, tucked in his side as her index finger traced patterns mindlessly onto his chest. And he was scared too. 

He was scared that the patters would slip through his skin and burn his hurting heart. Scared that tomorrow could bring an end to him, to them. Scared that he would knowingly let his lifeline vanish before his eyes, taking with her his whole being. He wasn’t scared for himself, no. He was scared for her and only her.

“Y/N please tell me you’ll always love me.”

“Ew Hyuck, what the heck are you talking about?”

“Y/N please”

His voice trembled then and broke at the end of the sentence. Y/N craned her neck in order to lift her gaze to his face. She found his eyes already trained on her, staring through her soul with an indecipherable look. That seemed to wake her up a little.

“What is this all about? You said nothing will be different. Why should we- “

He seemed to realize his mistake as he softly shushed her, cradling her back in his comforting embrace.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything, I just want to hear it from you”

It was silent for a few moments and his caresses seemed to slowly lull her to sleep, hopefully, a soothing one.

“You know I do. I love you and I’ll keep loving you no matter what.”

Her words were muffled, barely audible, but they resonated through Haechan’s entire body. It was a matter of minutes before Y/N was off to Dreamland while Haechan came undone in the darkness of their shared room. Hot tears rimmed his eyes before slipping down his cheeks, leaving trails of ashes from fallen stars. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling the utter dread rip apart his body, burn every piece of him down to nothing as the only witness to him falling apart was the moon which seemed to shine shallowly through the lids. He lifted a hand to cover his mouth, to keep the devastation inside himself, to let it eat him inside out.

That’s how he finally fell asleep, heart in his throat, weakly yelling at him to give up, to allow her full control and his mind, fighting against it, destroying him from both ends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s hands were sweating as Mark went over the plan for the millionth time, talking endlessly from the passenger seat. Johnny was sat behind the wheel, gripping it so tightly, Y/N was afraid it would bend and break anytime. She did her best trying to shut down her emotions ever since she woke up that morning, falling into her way to cope with unwanted uneasiness that came every time she had to go on a mission.

“Are you sure you’re feeling well, Y/N?” Mark’s voice snapped her out of her state.

“Huh?”

“You seem a bit out of it”

“I’m alright, don’t worry,” Mark still seemed reluctant and she could feel Johnny’s gaze through the mirror in front of him “really, I promise.”

Mark sighed as he turned back around, settling down in his seat as silence enveloped the car. Suddenly, fingers slipped through hers, intertwining their hands with a strong grip. Y/N’s head snapped towards Haechan who watched carefully with worried, but soft eyes. She could tell he was nervous too, but he tried to push that aside just to make sure she was fine. In return, she squeezed his hand back fiercely, trying to show him he could also lean on her, that there was nothing to be afraid as long as they stayed together.

As they neared their destination, the tension in the car intensified, almost suffocating Y/N as she struggled to keep her mind clear and not let her evident fear unleash and swallow up her sanity. The car stopped just short of the entrance gate as they unbuckled their seat belts. Y/N watched as Mark checked Haechan’s in-ear one last time before leaning forward herself. Mark did his job, but before she could bid goodbye and exit the car, Mark’s warm hand cupped her cheek affectionately, instantly grounding her with his reassuring touch.

“Come back safely, okay?”

“You know I will, we always do.” Y/N tried to bluff her bravery in a poor attempt to convince everyone, including herself, that she didn’t doubt herself. But Mark didn’t fall for it, and she knew none of the others did either. His eyes looked deeply into hers, searching her orbs desperately.

“Y/N.”

“I will, Mark. I really will.”

Johnny patted her head as Mark let his hand fall back in his lap.

“You too, devil child.” Haechan’s head snapped up and he had to force the smile on his face to seem genuine.

“Wow, I can really feel the love here, we’ll be fine.”

With that, the two youngest exited the vehicle, letting the light breeze brush away their nerves and bring them their usual mindset. Quick, quiet and clean. That’s how their jobs went every time. This had no reason to be different. They easily passed by the guards with the fake invitations Wendy provided them with and they stepped inside.

The first thing you could feel once you entered the party hall was definitely the stuck up atmosphere, which wasn’t shocking considering the people present there. The lights were dim and conversations were kept hushed. The tables on the sides of the room were filled with glasses of probably expensive champagne with fancy names and the occasional plates with small sweets. Y/N and Haechan spent the next 15 minutes checking their surroundings, blending in with the ever-growing crowd. They did catch a few glimpses of Park Ji-won caught up in conversations and Y/N could feel her blood start to boil at the sight of him. But she knew they weren’t there to kill him, so she kept a safe distance, far enough to keep out of his sight but close enough not to lose him in the crowd.

“I think we should get this going,” Haechan whispered subtly in her ear. She eyed the stairs she had to climb to the floor where the offices and a few other rooms were located, their best bet at finding the USB. Haechan was supposed to remain downstairs, monitor any weird actions and watch her back. Y/N nodded and immediately disappeared into the crowd, missing the indecipherable look he threw her.

Nearing the stairs, she quickly slipped upstairs, tapping her in-ear once, sending the boys outside and back at the dorm the signal that the plan was put in action.

“Alright, be careful” Taeyong murmured.

She checked the first few rooms nearest, so quietly you could hear a fly buzz around. Every room was empty, both of any people and the USB. Ji-won’s office was still yet to be found, but Y/N’s chest was uncharacteristically beating uncontrollably. Everything was so silent, only the ruckus from downstairs could be heard faintly. Haechan had been silent the entire time and Y/N clung onto her hope things were going well since he hadn’t said a word since she left.

The blood was rushing through her veins, adrenaline high and keeping her going as she neared the next door. Her eyes were focused and it seemed as if no emotion was displayed, her face muscles completely lax. Her footsteps were light, making no sound against the carpet beneath and adding to the eerie silence that threatened to cloud up her throat and spillover.

A loud bang resonated in her ear and she was instantly snapped out of her trance. She barely contained herself from lifting her hand up to touch the device settled inside her ear, but it was enough to make her freeze in her spot, waiting for something, anything, for someone to guide her, to calm her and keep her steady on her feet just for long enough to finish her task. But her guide never came, at least not in the form she hoped for.

“Y/N! Haechan! Get out of there! NOW!” Taeyong sounded more frantic than ever. Never had Y/N heard their reliable leader scream that way, not with such raw desperation and never to abandon their mission, never. Several gunshots now echoed in the background and her teammates’ yells could be barely heard over the ruckus created. “We’re getting attacked! Get out-” Another gunshot, incredibly loud and it was enough to cut off the connection, their only link to the outside.

Y/N felt herself getting dizzy. She was trapped, with no help, her brothers were in danger back home and she could do nothing besides muttering a broken ‘no’ and turning around harshly, not wasting a second to get out of here and back home. Her feet carried her thoughtlessly, to hell with the stupid USB and the cursed Park Ji-won, nothing mattered more than her family who needed her help now more than ever, and she would be damned if she doesn’t get there fast enough to fight alongside them. 

Her entire world was shattering and she was hopelessly and blindly running back to gather the shards.

A hand reached out, grasping her arm and turning her so her back was pressed tightly to a chest as a hand came around her to embrace her tightly around the shoulders. Y/N reached out immediately, ready to fight back but settled for a few moments one sensing the familiar scent of Haechan.

Right, Haechan was still there, still with her. Her lifeline was still there, keeping her alive, clinging to her sanity. Her soulmate was there and anything would be alright as long as their fates stayed intertwined, she would fight until her last breath with him by her side. 

“Thank God you’re here, we have to go, come on, the rest are in trouble.” 

Y/N urged him to get moving, tugging on the arm wrapped around her and trying to step forward. But the boy behind her didn’t seem to budge, frozen in his spot like a cold statue, roots keeping him planted into the ground. She felt him let out a shaky breath, the warm air blowing a few strands of her hair as she struggled to snap him out of his daze and run back to her family, their family.

“Haechan come on-” 

But her words were cut, just like Taeyong’s as the same arm that hugged her protectively in her safe heaven the night before, slipped up and tightened around her neck, cutting off her air supply. Her eyes widened, trying to comprehend what was happening right under her fingertips, the way the pieces of her world were falling apart, becoming dust in the wind with every second that passed. She struggled both physically and mentally. She tried to wrap her mind around the situation at hand, the way her vision was turning black and her will to keep going faded with it, the cruel way everything was ripped away from her in a mere second, the simple way her small world she worked so hard to gain along the years was vanishing into an endless abyss filled with bitter reminiscences.

Y/N struggled to grasp her Haechan’s sick betrayal.

[wendyblanquelg-writes]

Only Child

When I think about when I was 6, I picture myself sitting on the dark gray carpet in my room, the remodeled half of our porch, surrounded by toys and pink decorations on the wall. I’m sitting quietly looking around at everything, completely alone. My image zooms out to my mom’s bedroom next to mine—which you had to walk through in order to get to my room—next to the kitchen where my grandma’s cooking while watching her novelas, then to the rest of the house that’s empty. For years the routine was the same: mom would leave to work around 6 in the morning, my grandpa left at 7, I was taken care of by my grandma, I’d spend most of the day to myself, then usually between 4:30 and 5 in the evening everyone would come home, eat, discuss the problems or issues of the day, watch some tv, and soon go their separate ways. Most days you could have found me in my room reading only to get bothered when asked if I wanted to stop reading and go out. Other days I’d play with my dinosaur toys and question too many things around me. Why does my mom have to work so much, why is there a man with my aunts but my mom doesn’t have one, why does my grandma cry sometimes, who’s the woman my grandpa talked to the other day, what will I do in the future, is being at home all I’ll do, and I want to do more. Why am I an only child? Although being alone made it easier to get lost in my thoughts and learn through reflection, it also made me cry more than other kids. I felt more. I became a bit more. Because being alone made me be in tune with myself and as a result, my spirituality and morals.

First, let me define what I’ve come to understand as spirituality: the belief to love yourself and others, respect all living beings and being one with the world and universe; specifically Mother Nature and spirits or angels. To live life as your own with good morals is a peaceful way to live. However, I didn’t come to this definition right away, probably until most recently at the age of 22. Since I was raised Catholic and started attending mass by the time I was 4, I was taught good morals by my mom and the readings given during mass. I was also told to pray, idolize, and ask for help from a higher being and religious men in robes. Every segment of church was aweing, the ‘peace be with you’ handshake left tingling vibrations on my hand the first time I did it. As if God himself shook my hand. Surprisingly enough I fell into this pool of lukewarm devotion of believing I’m loved by God, which sprouted the power of faith in myself. 

I felt invincible as a child, so strong in my capabilities and mental state, that I truly believed if I wanted to pick up a car—I could. This confidence in myself originated in the belief of my mind being powerful—a gift from this higher presence—and that was where I first learned that our minds are stronger than we take it. Whenever I walked to school or in a store, I felt this warm spiritual being next to me that made me feel safe and protected. When you’re the only child in a household for years, the thought that this higher being is with you and won’t let anything harm you literally sounds like a great comfort and relief.  At the time I took this being as God, but after many years and realizing I don’t identify Catholic, I take that feeling of this being as the universe or my spiritual angel. My heart and intuition as a child were woven together, the addition of self and higher-faith only enhanced my perspective of living. In my head I was God’s favorite, and I kept myself in my head a lot.

When spoken to I already knew the correct responses and what adults wanted to hear. When starting conversations, I knew the typical topics and starter questions that would make adults go, “wow! You know about ____! But you’re so young.” I knew to read the room and 23    make myself heard and seen without causing a scene. For many years I felt confident in my identity. My mom is the one to thank for that. She taught me manners, but with that also came a sense of submission to pleasing others. And this was easy for a long time, especially when most of the people around me were adults. 

In elementary school, seeing boys be rude, say dumb or ignorant things, or any weirdly immature behavior made me not really want to interact with others my age. Throughout school I bonded with my teachers because I preferred the conversations rather than standing around groups of kids whose jokes didn’t make sense. The only children I had been around growing up were two older cousins and 2 younger ones; all which I saw maybe once a week. Two cousins of mine that are brothers became my best friends and through them I learned about the amazing PlayStation, video games, and the excitement of staying up late watching movies in a forthouse.  Even though I went over to their house about 50% of the year, these relationships don’t have the same roots and seeds like actual siblings you live with. The picky fights, annoying arguments, picked up habits, with unconditional support and soft spot that comes with a sibling weren’t given to me, and through this lack of connection I found some bits of life like sandpaper in my throat with a rough and coursing feeling— interacting with other kids daily, learning that I can’t play fight, failing to say comebacks, struggling to be rude back, or really click with others. My morals up until school had been to be a kind and loving person, which in school didn’t seem to fly so smoothly.

From the lack of company when I was younger, I learned to appreciate my time with people and what each person had to offer, like if they were smart or artistic with some purpose I was curious to know more. In my interactions I would observe their character and hear them closely, for any other ambiguous thoughts or comments they were trying to say. These analytical skills developed more in my early school years when I caught onto new concepts quickly and and caught on quickly to new concepts or activities. In the beginning it was odd to me that my peers found more interest in talking to each other rather than listening to the single adult in the room who knew more than us. I saw an adult like a friend, an educator, a person who I had to have the most respect for. I needed to adapt, so with more socializing and making friends I became like my friends: young and free. My circle up until then had been a few kids my age and adults so I was used to “being” an adult, and being a kid was harder than it seemed. Perhaps I put adults on a too-high of a stand because I lost a sense of identity with trying to please adults for most of my life. 

When asked if I have siblings, after my regular “no I’m an only child,” I usually get a surprised look because I’m outspoken and seem humble enough to have had a few siblings. Back to my old belief in God, my morals and demeanor came off as mature, which were often mistaken as being an “old soul.” From my earliest surprised encounters, I came across a few assumptions about being an only child: 1) people who are only children are selfish and 2) are often spoiled by their parents. Only my mom has been around, being the sole provider playing the dual role of mother and father, working 5 full days out of the week, leaving me to be cared for by my grandma who had her own chores to do. I received love and plenty of attention from my family, but never was it excessive to the point where I became selfish to be in the spotlight. 

Close friends used to joke around that my mom spoiled me because I’d go on vacation a few times out of the year. I’ll admit, I lived a nice childhood: my mom would buy me clothes when she could, buy me a small toy from the store if there was enough money leftover, we’d travel to another state with her and her boyfriend. What became my annually mandatory vacation, was my trip to Mexico every winter. My mom had to continue working and left me with my grandma as usual. The problem was that my grandpa would go to Mexico every year and take her with him. Since no one could take care of me, I had  to go. My trips to Mexico were always full of great food and views, never without the sour taste of yearning for my mom the two weeks I was there. What some people saw as “spoiled,” was me being taken in where I was able to, so my mom could continue caring for me.

What I was spoiled with was knowledge and experiences from my mom and stepdad of 15 years. My step dad and my mom dated for years but never lived together, so as a weekend dad he took me and my mom to many places. I’ve been to many states across the country, learning the country’s history and survival skills as I went. My mom has taken me on the CTA since as long as I can remember, pointing out the maps and different “lines” which go north, west, east, and south to our house. Each line passing a different neighborhood, different people, and bringing a new trip. Through learning the different areas, I learned the city and cultures withint. Similarly, I observed how my family members were and acted with each other, learning how I did and didn’t want to be. From failed relationships, to debt, to saving money, and backstreet alleys, I decided I wasn’t going to be inconsistent or carless like some uncles, and instead be hardworking to the bone like other family members. I’d consider my alone time growing up the most reflective portion of my youth. I became very intuitive when it came to reading people and knowing to trust myself with actions and exchange of words. That subconscious voice in my head became my guide, my spirit, leading me down the right path in life. Additionally, rather than bickering with a brother or sister, most of my conversations were about learning right from wrong and “adult” topics such as money and news from the adults I lived with. In middle school I was consistently called mature by teachers and other students, only to realize that my “maturity” was the result of growing up quickly. 

I’ve found comfort in being close with other family members and building strong relationships with friends. It’s odd that a misconception about only children is that they’re dependent on others. I might have an issue where I ask someone where they’re going everytime they’re leaving a room, but overall I’d like to think I just enjoy being around others. Although I don’t like being alone like I used to be, being an only child has definitively shaped me into a strong-willed and loving person. An aunt once told my mom, “you let her go too early, she’s more independent than any of the other grandkids. You’re sad she doesn’t need you anymore but the reality is she hasn’t for a while now.” Only children are not always dependent on their parents. Only children are not always spoiled or selfish, sometimes they don’t know how it feels to even be that way. Only children are oftentimes people who have to grow up quickly and learn to fill in the blanks on their own to make it in a crowded world.