#//we no longer talked but i turned notifications on her tumblr blog

[troublcmakcrs]

//what if i gave craig my specific brand of aromanticism where he rarely gets crushes or feels romantic love but when he does he's an absolute deranged little freak about it

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 19, Unfriended - Pt. 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sex, confrontation, uncovering of lies.

Word Count: 1.3k

Previously On...: Tony has a new mission for you, and everyone finds out you used to be a stripper.

A/N: CONFRONTATION TIME, BITCHES!

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

You left the conference room with a better idea of what Tony was hoping you’d be able to accomplish, and you were feeling slightly optimistic for the first time all day: You actually had a chance to help women escape the hell you’d lived in for seven years, and you were going to do your damnedest to do right by them.

You hadn't gotten very far down the hallway toward the elevator when you felt the cold, vice-like grip of a vibranium hand take hold of your wrist and pull you into a storage closet.

"Jesus Christ, Barnes," you yelled, wrenching your arm out of his grasp and rubbing the skin where he'd grabbed you. "What the hell?"

"Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing." His eyes were dark. He was angry at you. Of all the fucking nerve. He had the gall to be angry at you? "What the hell, Pocket? What was that back there?"

Well, you thought, I guess this is actually happening.

"Really?" you asked, your voice calmer than you could have ever imagined it being. "Can't think of a single reason I'd be upset with you?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, seeming genuinely confused. "We were fine this morning. Fuck, we talked about getting place of our own, for Christ's sake."

"Yeah," you said, "that's not going to be happening. Ever." He had the audacity to look hurt.

"What do you mean?" He reached for you, but you pulled away from him, trying to put as much distance between you as possible in the cramped space. "Sweetheart, talk to me. Whatever's wrong, we can figure it out together."

"How was Russia, James?" you asked, ignoring the concern in his voice. "Anything... I dunno, exciting happen over there? Twice, maybe?" You watched with a sense of sick satisfaction as all the color drained from Bucky's face and a look of panic overtook him.

"I-I don't know what you mean," he stammered.

"Please," you scoffed. "If there's one thing we can both agree on, it’s that I’m not intellectually stupid. Emotionally? Obviously. But not intellectually. Don't insult my intelligence by acting like you don't know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Whatever Carthage told you," Bucky said, trying to draw close to you again, slowly, as if approaching a wounded animal, "she's lying to you."

"Oh, no worries-- Jade didn't tell me anything, so no need to follow through on your threat to kill her and make sure no one ever finds her body, which, by the way, what the actual fuck?!"

"Doll, you gotta understand," he began, but you cut him off.

“No,” you said, putting a hand up to keep the distance between you. “I’m tired of being understanding when it comes to you, James.” You watched him flinch at your use of his government name. Good. “I’m tired of giving you second chances you don’t deserve. I’m tired of your fucking lies. I am so tired of you.”

You reached into your pocket and took out his phone. “Here,” you said, shoving it into his chest, “you left this when you went to your debrief.”

Bucky clutched the phone, looking between it and you. “You… you went through it?”

“Of course I fucking did!” you seethed. “Imagine my surprise when I picked it up, planning on just pocketing it to give back to you when I next saw you, only to see a notification for a new message from Jade fucking Carthage. The girl whose number I blocked from this very phone. The girl who, you swore to me, you were never going to speak to or be alone with again. Imagine how absolutely devastating that was.”

“You weren’t supposed to read those messages,” Bucky said, his voice low and full of sorrow. “I never intended for you to see them.”

“Well, no fucking shit, Barnes,” you said, throwing your hands in the air. “Kinda defeats the point of having a secret affair if the girlfriend knows about it, doesn’t it?”

“But it wasn’t like that!” Bucky exclaimed, desperate for you to believe him. “I didn’t intend for it to happen. It was an accident! I never meant--"

"Oh, an accident? My bad; I didn't realize you'd 'accidentally' tripped and got your penis stuck in her vagina. Two fucking times." You were hit with a realization. "Was this why you didn't call me when you were supposed to? Why you never returned my messages? Were you lying about your phone dying?"

"Yes, but--"

"For fucks' sake, James!" You were shouting now. "I fucking knew something was going on between you two. I fucking KNEW it, but no, you assured me it was nothing, that I was overreacting. That you loved me. I thought I was losing my fucking mind with insecurity, and meanwhile you've been fucking her behind my back and feeding me bullshit about how much you wanted to be with me."

"Baby, no!" Tears began pooling in Bucky's eyes, but they didn't sway you. "I swear, Russia was the only time anything happened. I promise you."

"See, here's the thing: your promises don't mean shit, James," you spat. "I can't believe a word that comes out of your lying mouth. I'd ask you why, but I wouldn't believe whatever bullshit you'd tell me."

"Because I thought you were with Steve," he blurted out, as if desperately grasping for any chance at making you understand. "I saw the news articles from the gala, and I was so angry! I– I wanted to make you hurt as much as I thought you hurt me…"

His words left you momentarily speechless. "You took the word of fucking trash rag as gospel, thinking I would do that to you? That STEVE would do that to you? And before even thinking about talking it over with me, you decided the smart choice was to go balls deep in the one person who I've been begging you to stay away from for months? That you swore I didn't have to worry about?" God, he seemed so pathetic to you now. “You just made the executive decision that I was a piece of shit? I’ve been to enough therapy sessions to recognize projection when I see it.”

"I'm sorry! I know I fucked up. Please, please just tell me what I have to do to make this right. What can I do to fix this? I'll do anything. You want me to never speak to Jade again? Done."

"That's just it, James," you said, the fight leaving you. "There's nothing that you can do. This is over. We're done. I refuse to do this any longer."

"Sweetheart, please," he cried, "please, you can't mean that. Don't talk like that."

"James..."

"Stop calling me 'James'!" he sobbed. "'m not 'James,' 'm your Bucky. 'm always your Bucky."

You shook your head sadly. "'My Bucky' died the second you decided to sleep with her, and there's no bringing him back. Welcome to the consequences of your actions, James. I hope you and Carthage are happy together. You fucking deserve each other." You started for the door, but Bucky grabbed your wrist before you could grasp the handle.

"Please," he moaned, "this-- this can't be it. We can't end like this. We were supposed to be forever."

You pulled your hand out of his grasp and opened the door. "You should have thought about that before you broke my heart," you whispered. “Again.”

"I don't know how to live without you," he murmured.

"Well, you better figure out how to fucking start," you said as you made your way out the door. "When I get back from this mission, I'm moving out of the Tower. Alone." The idea had just come to you at that moment, but you knew it was the right thing to do. You couldn't stand to live under the same roof as Bucky any longer, let alone across the hall.

"But this is your home," he pleaded. "You don't need to leave it."

"You were my home," you told him. "I don't have one anymore." And you left him standing in the open doorway of the storage closet, alone and crying.

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->

[positiveglitchexists]

Event :]

Warnings: Swearing, Its a bit rushed because I'm like half asleep so please forgive me-

Notes: This is forrr @turtle-bee-anon for the @gigglesandghasts event!! I was actually so excited for this prompt: "Irl ler!Ranboo Lee! Tommy where they somehow find out they are both in the tckle community" I hope you enjoy this !! sorry for the long wait, completely forgot i was supposed to post this in December- like usual if you find any mistakes message me so I can fix them!

--------------------------------------------------

"Anddd I'm done!"

Everyone had taken a breath while Jack got off the floor with the help of Wilbur. "That was the worst bit ever-" Tommy grinned, "I loved it." Jack rolled his eyes, Tommy turned around and faced Ranboo who was looking through the footage.

"Is it Good?" Ranboo nodded, "Yeah all you have to do is edit it!" Tommy cheered, following after the group as they headed to Jack's car. Wilbur sat in the passenger seat next to Jack while Ranboo and Tommy sat in the back. Tommy hummed as he went through the vlog, "Should we do an outro now?" Wilbur looked back, "Didn't we do an outro in the video?" Tommy nodded, "Yeah but-"

"Your so much more tame after videos I swear." Jack shook his head with a smile as Tommy rolled his eyes and kicked the seat a little. "Ay kick the seat and I'll drop you off at the side of the road-" "You couldn't or else Motherinnit would get upset- and you don't wanna upset her." "She'd understand."

Ranboo snickered as he looked out the window, before he pulled out his phone going to Tumblr as comfortable silence fell over the car. As his Tumblr opened a post caught his eye, "Whatever you do, Do not imagine being given raspberries from your ler."

Ranboo blinked confused before he realized he was on his tickle tumblr "RainbowTickles", once he realised Wilbur and Tommy were on their phones while Jack was vibing to some song on the radio. He stared at the post a bit longer before reblogging it, typing in-

"Definitely, Do not think of your Ler slowly giving raspberries to your death spot or teasing you about how cute your laughter is or-"

Before he could finish typing the car came to a stop, he lifted his head and looked around realizing they were at McDonald's. He looked at Jack and Jack shrugged, "I'm hungry" Tommy quickly butted in with "And I need to piss, Ranboo watch my phone Tubbo is supposed to message me about a video we plan on doing so just like, watch for notifications alright?"

Ranboo nodded while Jack and Tommy got out of the car, going into the building. Ranboo was gonna try and make small (awkward) talk with Wilbur before realizing he was also on his phone. Ranboo went back to his post and finished typing it and posted it, continuing to scroll through his tumblr for a few minutes.

Ranboo checked for notifications on Tommy's phone, realizing he had two. Tubbo did message him and the next was a Tumblr notification?-

"RainbowTickles has posted"

Ranboo froze for a minute, Oh. Well that was his blog. Tommy followed his blog. His tickle blog- that was fine. Okay. So Tommy was In the tickle community and followed his ler blog, which probably meant he was lee-

Ranboo only broke out of his thinking when he heard the door slam next to him, "I'm back!" Tommy grinned and sat back down, "Did you miss me?" Ranboo rolled his eyes and handed the phone back to Tommy, even just the sight of the boy with this new information made Ranboo grow a bit of a ler mood.

"Tubbo messaged you and uh you got a Tumblr notification." Tommy nodded and he turned his phone on, his face turning slightly red when he saw the notification, his mouth opening to speak before he was interrupted by Jack getting in the car holding four McDonald bags.

----

"Bro I love McDonalds-" Ranboo faked disgust as Tommy spoke with a mouthful of fries, "Tommy close your mouth I swear-" as Ranboo said this, he shoved fries in his own mouth.

Tommy rolled his eyes as he put even more fries in his mouth, they ate in silence besides a few comments as Tommy went through the vlog making sure to cut some of the footage that he did not want the poor editor dealing with.

Everyone had gone home, besides Ranboo who had opted to hang out with Tommy. almost forgetting about the Tumblr thing, almost. "So uh.. You have a Tumblr." Tommy had froze at that, "Um yeah." The awkwardness in the air would have killed a introverted person.

Tommy turned around, "You.. Don't know what that blog is right?" Ranboo snorted slightly at Tommy's face, as it seemed to be turning pink. "Well I do- because it's my blog..?" Tommy's eyes widened, his face turning a red that shouldn't be possible.

"Ohhh nooo-" Ranboo bursted into laughter, "Ranboo- how could you do this to me-" Ranboo stopped at that, "Me?! You are the one who's following me!" "Not on purpose!" Ranboo rolled his eyes, "Sure you accidentally went into the tickle tag, accidentally found my tickle blog, and then accidentally followed me?" Ranboo grinned and Tommy sputtered.

"Yes!." Tommy stubbornly stood up, crossing his arms over his chest as he turned away. Ranboo got up, slowly walking towards Tommy to make sure the floors didn't creak.

Tommy went to turn around before he felt hands latch onto his side's, delivering fast squeezes up and down causing Tommy to burst out into surprise laughter. "RANANANAN WHAT THE HEHEHELL-" "Oh I'm so sorry I'm accidentally tickling you!" Tommy fell to the floor to try and escape but the hands followed without any trouble.

Ranboo kept squeezing his hands up and down before Tommy's phone caught his attention, he hummed. "I wonder what posts of mine you like, Perhaps the posts about raspberries or maybe my posts about the tickle monster- do you like the tickle monster Toms?" Ranboo smiled evily and Tommy began to squirm.

"FUHUHUHUCK OHFHF!!" Ranboo frowned, "Well that's not nice." Ranboo changed his tactic from squeezing up and down to poking, Tommy's hands tried to grab onto Ranboo's hands to stop them but failed.

Ranboo kept poking Tommy's sides, this time Tommy's hand managed to grab Ranboos. Ranboo blew a raspberry on the back of Tommy's neck watching as Tommy giggled and scrunched his shoulders, letting go of Ranboo's hand.

Ranboo awed. "That was so cute!" "Shuhuhut uhphp!" "Hey, the tickle monster can say whatever he wants!" Ranboo grinned and Tommy laughed louder as Ranboos hands navigated to his stomach.

"RANANANAN NOHOHO-" Ranboo put his hands under Tommy's shirt as he started skittering his fingers on his tummy, Tommy broke into a shriek before loud laughter filled the air, Tommy squirming into Ranboo's chest as he kicked his legs.

"Tommy, your laughing but you still haven't answered my question! Raspberries or Tickle monster?" Tommy squirmed even harder, "I CHOHOHOOSE FUHUHUCK OHFHFHF-" Ranboo frowned, "That's not a choice."

He trailed his fingers back to Tommy's sides, "if you don't answer then... I'll have to make the decision for you!" Ranboo blew a raspberry on Tommy's neck and Tommy squealed, "and I think you know what I'm gonna choose!" Ranboo spoke in a teasy tone, blowing another raspberry.

Tommy squealed and shook his head, The raspberries spreading so much ticklish energy through his body- he doesn't think he could deal with it! "TIHIHICKLE MONSHSHSTER!" Ranboo paused for a second, "Great decision!"

Ranboo tugged Tommy's shirt down so his shoulder showed, "But it was a trick question! Tickle monsters need energy and y'know how they get It?.." Ranboo's tone was between teasy and predatory. Before Tommy could answer, (Or more likely tell him fuck off) he blew a raspberry. "They get it through raspberries!" "NOHOHOT FAHAHAIR!"

Ranboo placed a bunch of raspberries on the back of Tommy's neck, eventually pulling Tommy's shirt up so he could blow them between Tommy's shoulderblades.

"I think it's plenty fair! Considering how rude you were with avoiding my question- now sides or tummy?" Ranboo rested his hands on Tommy's sides. "TUHUHUMMY-" Tommy spoke quickly not wanting to risk Ranboo choosing- but he started to doubt his answer when Ranboo seemed to keep his hands on his sides.

"It was a trick question again, really you'd think you would learn!" Tommy could practically feel the grin radiating off of Ranboo, "Your so stUPUPUPID-"

Ranboo began to skitter his fingers against Tommy's sides, watching in awe as the boy's laughter raised an octave. He let out a small laugh, "How did I never figure out your sides were this ticklish?" Ranboo changed his technique from skittering to scratching at Tommy's sides.

"DIHIHICK!" Ranboo rolled his eyes before he started prodding and poking at the boys ribs, only earning small laughs from Tommy. Ranboo hummed, unsatisfied with the response.

He used his hands to dig into Tommy's armpits, Tommy shook his head his whole body shaking with laughter.

He eventually placed his hands back on Tommy's sides, quickly scribbling into them. Tommy arched his back as he screamed with laughter, "RANANANANA-" "Let's see.. Shoulders or neck?" "NEHEHECK!" Tommy hoped that this means he would go for shoulders, but then Ranboo blew a raspberry on his neck.

"RANANANA YOU BIHIHITCH!" Ranboo sighed dramatically, "I did what you said! You seemed to be so upset by the trick questions so I didn't do one this time! You should thank me."

Tommy only responded with laughter. Ranboo kept placing mini raspberries on the back of the boys neck, sometimes shaking his hair across the boy's neck to watch him shiver.

After a bit he moved his hands on Tommy's sides before he paused. "Red or Blue?" Tommy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Blue?" "Call out blue when you want me to stop okay?" Tommy nodded.

Ranboo began to scribble up and down Tommy's sides quickly, blowing raspberries on his neck. Tommy seemed to freeze before bursting out into a mix of loud laughter and a few snorts. (He would never admit it though) His body stuck between kicking his legs and scrunching his shoulders, his hands flailing everywhere.

Ranboo prayed that Tommy's head wouldn't headbutt him in the nose, but with how much everything was going everywhere he wouldn't be suprised. He kept scribbling into the boy's sides at some point giving his knees a squeeze.

"BLUHUHUUH- BLUHUHUE!" Ranboo stopped completely, Lifting his hands off the boy as quick as he could. Tommy kept laughing for a bit after that, his hands wrapping around himself protectively.

Ranboo gently rubbed his back as Tommy giggled and took deep breaths, after a bit Tommy had calm down. "I hahahaate yohohou." Ranboo raised an eyebrow,

"Big talk for someone who likes the tickle monster." "I DO NOT LIKE THE TICKLE MONSTER-"

[serabellyms]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: serabellym (sera is fine!)

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: she/her

MUSE NAME: multi-muse, so too many to list.

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: discord if you have it, IMs if not. I tend to answer Discord more regularly & IMs I sometimes leave the notification until I have the mental capacity to respond as it's usually about plotting, so I have to be in the right mindset!

EXPERIENCE: on tumblr, about 2 years now? In general, well over 10 years.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: some angst or a dab of hurt/comfort is always a soft spot for me. I don't mind fluff once in a while, but it does become dry and repetitive after a while. Realistically, what I want is plots/threads that are dynamic and have a flow; maybe it starts off hurt-comfort, and as replies go on (and we're talking 10, 20, 30 replies in, so long-standing threads) it turns to fluff. Maybe there's a dabble of smut somewhere in there. Either way, dynamic threads is what I crave.

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS:

If you constantly drop threads/forget about threads/threads never go past 1 or 2 replies & we never plot, I'm less likely to interact, period. Taking your time is a very different thing; having multiple threads that are 2-3 replies that constantly get dropped are a motivation killer for me.

If you remake your blog more than once every 6-8 months, I get exhausted. For context, in 2 years I've moved blogs only 3 times. The first was to move from a side blog to a main blog (so it wasn't like I could clean up my blog and make it a main blog); the second was to move from multiple single-muse blogs to one multi-muse blog (I had a lot of content across 4 blogs, it was easier to combine it into one fresh/new blog).

PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO TAG FOR EYESTRAIN. It aggravates me to no end when asking for a tag is a problem. I often get the impression that people don't take the request for eyestrain to be tagged seriously, not realizing that the things I ask to be tagged trigger chronic headaches when it's missed.

Not filling out my interest tracker. I'm very clear why this is a requirement. It's actually detailed & coded on my end to organize it for my own sake well beyond what's asked for in the tracker. It makes it easier for me as someone with a disability to keep track of things, & it alleviates my anxiety to have those tools at my disposal, tools that I've taken the time to create for myself to make my life easier.

PLOTS OR MEMES: both! Generally, memes are good icebreakers, but I'm of the opinion that memes and plots go hand-in-hand. Memes are a great way to trigger a starter for something you've been plotting with a writing partner; conversely, memes can also serve to open the door for plot ideas to form when you discuss with people. I operate on the basis that memes are a way to start threads, and are generally not treated as one-off interactions on my blog. If you send a meme, it's going to be answered in a way that it can serve as a starter. In this case, anyone is welcome to continue memes that I sent if they'd like. I will not be upset.

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: Long replies. Shorter replies are more difficult for me to write and work with in most cases. I can rip through a long reply faster than I can a short reply, because with long replies there's enough content that it gets the creative juices going, and it's a matter of just letting the flow roll. If you give me a short reply, you'll probably be waiting 2-3 times as long for a response than a long reply. (& for those of you thinking "but a long reply is more words to write"--I type around 100-120 words per minute. It's not about the word count or typing speed. It's about my ability to think of a response. Longer replies come easier from a creative standpoint for me.)

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Late at night for me, usually. I need to get more into daytime writing, but it's hard. I'm the kind of person who throws together half a reply while I'm laying in bed about to crash, lol.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: As a whole? No. There are likely reasons I'm drawn to certain characters because I relate to them or empathize with them/what they've been through, but I am not like my muses. Often, my own experience influences how I interpret the muse's experience.

tagged by: stolen lmao

tagging: @inufangs @smokedanced @hopegained @missallanea @stardustedstories @tenebriism @talesofourworlds @sailingtempest @primitiveside @bloodiedbiotic @altosk & anyone who'd like to steal!

[perriewinklenerdie]

Thank you so much

It’s time to get sappy. Anniversary edition.

Exactly two years ago, down to the minute, I posted my very first fic on this site. I was in the middle of my second semester at uni, sitting outside my doctor’s office when I started writing it on my phone. By the time I had to go in, it was written almost to completion, and as I was walking out of the building, the whole document disappeared. So I wrote it again and posted it a few days later.

Perrie at that time didn’t even exist. K, however, had a head full of ideas that she didn’t know what to do with. So she directed it into the thing she knew from her younger years - writing.

I didn’t expect it to turn into such an adventure. It never crossed my mind that when I hit ‘publish’ on that first post, it would start a journey that is still continuing to this day. That allowed me to grow as a person and as a writer. That brough me so many amazing experiences and allowed me to enjoy the book I already liked even more.

The story of me discovering Open Heart is actually a funny one. My friend and I (yeah, you know who you are) were waiting for our lecture to begin (three hours, mind you) and OH got its first chapter a few days before. We decided to play it for fun, since we had nothing better to do. And we made fun of it. A lot. Especially Ethan, believe it or not. We thought that it would be another diamond mine that we could have a laugh at once a week. Cut to three weeks later, we were both so immersed that when we separated for the weekend after labs on Friday, our usual line was ‘see you on Messenger after the chapter’. We often laugh that our friendship is based on similar taste in drinks and different taste in men, which rings true, even in something like Choices.

She was the first person I could talk to about not only OH, but Choices as a whole. And enjoy it, too. To this day, it’s one of our topics of conversation and it always ends with laughter.

Tumblr also gave me something that I didn’t think I’d get out of it. Friends. True friends that stuck by my side through thin and thick. So many amazing people that make the experience on this site amazing, no matter what is happening.

At the time of posting, there are 1272 people following my blog. It’s more than I could have ever imagined and, to be honest, I have no idea how are there so many of you, but know that I appreciate every single one of you. Thank you so much for being here.

I’m going to allow myself to call out some people by name, because it’s my anniversary and I can do whatever I want. 

@paleweasels - I know you don’t like being called out like that, so I’ll keep it short, just for you :D Thank fuck for our uni and PE lessons and wykłady ogólnouniwersyteckie (I have no idea how to say that in English) and bus rides filled with old ladies telling us to speak Polish when we gossip in English. You’re my hoe and I love you.

@usuallyamazinglyaverage @cyb3r-kat @awhmilkywey - you guys are my rocks. Literally. If you asked me two years ago when we met on Discord if we would still be in touch today, I wouldn’t have an answer for you. But here we are, celebrating together, lifting each other up and just being there for one another. I value our friendship a lot, you guys are like my little family. Thank you, I love you.

@justanotherrookie - I know you no longer post on here, but you know I’d follow you and your writing anywhere you’d go (see what I did there? :D). Your fics are my favorite (and unexpected most of the time) way to take a break from my work. I adore our conversations, overreacting about fics, canon and spoilers, musicals, Grey’s Anatomy and Jesse Williams, you’re an awesome human and you better keep on slaying.

@jamespotterthefirst @starrystarrytrouble @genevievemd @heauxplesslydevoted - I just adore you as people and as writers, notifications from you always put a smile on my face, I’m a fan and I stan every single one of you.

@somanymoreofyou,tumblrwouldn’tknowwhattodowiththatamountoftags - to every single one of you that’s here with me on this ride, I can’t say how much I value your presence. Thank you.

Perrie was created out of my username, and it stuck for good. She gave K space to be creative, to grow, to meet new people, to enjoy herself. And she’s staying here.

Thank you all so much for two amazing years. I cannot express how grateful I am for them. 

With lots of love

-K 

The anniversary fic is coming later today

[serodev]

𝐃𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

Warnings: None!

Pairing: Daki x male!reader

Note(s): Thank you so much for reminding me about the fluff alphabet!!! Let's see what I have to say about these letters~ [Letters: C, D, E, F, J, and K]

Original ask: Glad to see you’re taking requests again! Can I request C, D, E, F, J, K and M with Daki and male reader? I really love your blog btw, tumblr notification even saying ”serodev just posted, you love them we know” or something whenever you post xD

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.? » Daki's pretty bad at taking care of you, and you have to teach her what to do if you're feeling down or if you have a possible panic attack. However, when she learns to comfort you, it's super cute. She usually wraps herself around you, and she lets you pet her hair, etc., to calm you down.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o? » At first, Daki didn't really picture any kind of future with you, but when she actually fell in love with you, she started to think about different ways to spend time with you. She even thought about asking Muzan to turn you into a demon so that you two could live together forever. She understands if you don't want to turn into a demon, though, and if you make it clear, she's probably starting to imagine how to start a family with you.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive? » It really depends on you. If you have a strong will in things, then Daki's going to be pretty passive when it comes to the relationship. However, if you happen to show any kind of submission to her, she's going to become the dominant one in your relationship. (Don't worry, though, she's going to take such good care of you!)

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting? » I wouldn't outright say that you two would be fighting in the relationship, but you will bicker here and there when it comes to certain topics. Daki can (and probably will) forgive you easily if the so-called fight was about something stupid or little, like what to eat for dinner or when to go to sleep, but if it's something more "severe", then it's going to take a lot longer for her to forgive you.

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it? » As I've said before, Daki is probably one of the most jealous characters. She doesn't like to share you with anyone, and she will pout (and even yell at you) if she sees you talking with other girls. She's okay with you talking with other men and her brother, though, because she knows that there's no reason for them to try to steal you from her. (Depending on if you happen to swing that way, of course.)

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like? » Daki's an extremely good kisser, and it actually felt like in the books and movies when you two kissed for the first time. She was sensual and slow back then, but she has become much rougher with the kisses now that you two have been together for a while.

Author's note: Thank you so much for sending me this request - please remember to stay hydrated during this hot weather! My inbox is closed, but you can still send me a request if you buy me a hot coffee!

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

Okay but enquiring minds want to know. What disasters (multiple) do you keep eluding to that have plagued this trip home? (I finally checked my snapchat, like a nerd, so I know about the wind stealing your clothes but it sounds like there has been more)

okay so first of, hemmily, you cannot casually say "the wind stealing your clothes" on tumblr like it's nothing

but here is a list of shit that happened in 48 hours

my foot, which i thought was better from an injury i have no idea how i got, started spontaneously hurting again, just in time for me to go through airports. (it is still stiff a bit)

i went to do my laundry on thursday night, and my dryer decided to not do its one job. so i had all the clothes i actually wear hanging around my apartment all friday, most of which got dry, but my jeans were still soggy. no worry, says i, i shall just ask my mom if i can wash my clothes at her place when i get there

so i stay up all night even though i slept about four hours the previous night, get on my 6 AM flight, and go. they take my foot soothing cream at customs because it is 18 ml too big for a plane.

i realize that i did not get anything to eat or drink and do not have change for the vending machine. that's fine, say i, i will just grab something at my layover at airport number 2, i will have an hour.

when our flight arrives at airport number 2, we are stuck on the tarmac for a hot 45 minutes because there is nobody free to get us off the plane. so i don't get food, and i don't get a drink, and i gotta run-hobble across the airport because the moving sidewalk going in the direction i need to go isn't working. (the other moving sidewalk is working fine. of course) but that's alright! i can sleep on the plane, get off, mom will feed me. i have a minor panic attack because my aunt sent me a facebook message the previous night about how a flight was cancelled because It Fucken Wimdy, but i only got the notification just then and assumed it was about my flight. i check, it's not, mine is on time.

so far.

the woman sitting next to me on flight number 2 is named patricia. she has a son name dylan, and she is very excited to see him for thanksgiving, and she is also very excited to be sitting next to a Real Live Newfoundlander. (ma'am you are on a flight to newfoundland the fuck do you expect) she is very excited to talk about what newfoundland is like, and how she is being screeched in, and what tourist stuff should she do, and what restaurants should she go to. ("well idk if i have any recommendations, i have not been home in years." "oh, okay, well we were going to the keg" "okay i have one recommendation, don't go to the keg") i do not manage to sleep on this flight. i have not eaten or had a drink. i am flagging

so i am sitting there chatting with patricia about what all the patches on my jacket mean (nothing) with the little plane monitor on the seatback and i notice huh, this plane is turning! wow, it's turning a lot! and i watch as we turn completely around. uh oh.

for reference this is what the ocean looks like from the air. whitecaps everywhere, and this was pretty far out ne have enough fuel to fly around for about 40 minutes, but if it does not get less fucken wimdy, we will have to go back to halifax since if anything, it is fucken wimdier at the other two airports in newfoundland we could land at. so we just all sit there for 40 minutes, my mom and sister waiting in the car at the airport with no idea what is going on, while i go over who i know in halifax (one group of people i have met in person who i know are currently no longer in halifax since they flew back home the previous night, one old high school friend that i think still lives there but i haven't spoken to in literal years, and one tumblr friend that has seen my horrible blog and is unlikely to want to waste thanksgiving weekend time on me.)

for reference this is what the ocean looks like from the air. whitecaps everywhere, and this was pretty far out into the open sea. (i got better photos with patricia's phone because she was both excited to see the ocean and very opinionated about how they should have known when we took off it would be too windy to land and done something about it. what did you want them to do, patricia.)

45 minutes later, we manage to make the bumpiest landing i have ever experienced, and wait and wait and wait for them to manage to set up the little bridge. i get off the plane, say goodbye to patricia, fill out my wee questionnaire, and go to pick up my bags

there is an airport employee passing out little pieces of paper telling us that we cannot get our luggage now, since it is too fucken wimdy for them to open the luggage door of the plane

i have never heard of this happening

in my luggage is all of my clothes, much of which are getting mustier and mustier as time progresses, every jacket i brought for any other weather besides jean jacket, and my sister's birthday present

so i fill out the little form, and go to finally see my family, who take me to go buy underwear and socks to tide me over until i get my luggage (late enough that when we do eventually have thanksgiving dinner i am still wearing an alice cooper t-shirt i have stolen from my mom that is older than i am)

i also was leaning on mom's dishwasher for literally 5 minutes before it spontaneously sprung a leak

somewhere in this journey, i have completely smashed the cap of my wee shampoo bottle, so that was all over my toiletry/testosterone bag, which has rubbed some of the lettering off the T prescription so i'm very excited for that to become an issue on the trip home

as well as my realization that my plane tickets are actually a different name than both my name that i go by and the name on my id because mom forgot that i was not legally named bobbie when she ordered them

tonight is the first night i've been back that i've been even thinking about bed before 2 AM

i'm having a very good time but good lord that first

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 10: Myofascial Release

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Shane and Sy decompress after an emotional evening, Shane finds it difficult to get out of her own head and live in the moment, but Sy knows exactly how to help her, and not to be a complete hoe and spoil things, but…things get steamier than ever between our favorite therapist and patient duo.

Oh snap! You’re behind! Get on track here!

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, alcohol consumption, the smut you’ve all been waiting for so patiently! (I hope it lives up to your undoubtedly high expectations!)

Author’s Note: Oh gosh, y’all, I am so nervous to post this. Somehow it doesn’t feel like my smuttiest smut. And like, all previous chapters have been kind of leading up to this moment. The good news is, I’ve decided to continue writing this story after the sex. I’ve got some ideas about where to go from here, and I want to keep it going. Plus, it feels wrong to write all of this and then just drop them without a big picture resolution. They’re gonna go through some shit, though. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags: 

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@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

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@radkesgirl83

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

Her living room was cast in the low light of the floor lamp she had left on. Intending to come home after dark. Alone. She hated walking into a dark house by herself.

Well, tonight, she wasn’t alone. And although Sy had been to her house before, this was different. They were officially a couple, and they were no longer waiting to express, to the fullest extent, their true affection for one another.

Ever the hostess, despite her nervous tension, Shane asked Sy if he wanted anything to drink, rambling off several options somewhat awkwardly.

“I’m fine, darlin.’” He assured her, stopping her at some point in the rant, before she was completely done. “Do you need something?”

“Umm, I think I should have a glass of wine.” Her eyes darted to the kitchen across her serve-through counter space and landed on her fridge. “I’m…I’m really nervous.”

"Why don't we watch a little TV for a while? You get you some wine, and I'll put somethin' on. What are we watchin', sunshine?"

"Ummmm, something light? Funny? Something I've seen." She wouldn't be able to process anything new or heavy right now.

"I'm on it." he kissed the top of her head and left her side for the sofa, where he plopped himself down like a comfy hound dog, and picked up the remote to her Smart TV.

She smiled as she busied herself in the kitchen. She decided she wanted a snack with her wine. She got a plate of cheese and crackers together first. Then she remembered she had some venison sausage one of her coworkers had brought in, and put that on the plate, too. She got out a chilled bottle of her favorite, cheap moscato and a stemless glass. She couldn't go in there without something for Sy, so she also got a glass of ice water ready for him. She put the whole spread on her big serving tray and took it to the living room.

Sy was already halfway through the first episode of Parks and Recreation.

"I saw this in your 'Watch it again' group, and thought maybe you'd like to re-watch it. I've heard you talk about it a lot, and I've never seen it." He didn't complain at her for taking forever. He just lit up when he saw her. Like it was the first time. And not the hundredth.

"That's perfect, babe. I brought some snacks out, too. Some cheese and crackers, and this really good sausage one of my coworkers brought me. You like deer?" she asked.

"One of my favorite pet names." he teased. "I do, though, yes."

They ate, and laughed, and watched about four or five episodes, it was hard to keep track. But after approximately half the bottle, Shane had summoned some courage. She started playing at the texture of Sy's jeans, running a fingernail across the coarse fabric.

"Hang on, love bug. I want to know somethin.'" she looked up at him, mildly confused. "I'm trying to think of a reason you need to get tipsy to sleep with me that I shouldn't take personally." he rubbed her upper arm, comforting her as no one had done since she was a small child. At least not that she could remember.

"No, Sy. It's not like that. You aren't the problem at all!" she paused. He let her gather her thoughts. She appreciated that he knew she intended to continue and that he didn't rush her to do it. He was patient. And kind. And all of that should have made this whole night easier. But somehow it didn’t.

“I’m the problem." She confessed after a long pause and a deep sigh. "I mean, I’m in my head about it all, I know. But it’s been…almost six years since I’ve slept with anyone, five and a half, at least, and I can’t seem to wrap my head around it now that I know it’s going to happen again.”

He pulled her body into his, squeezing her tightly for one of his soul cleansing hugs.

“Sunshine. Everything will come back to ya. We’ll just go as slow as ya want. I got all night.”

“Okay. Well, I guess, since I’m a bit sleepy from the wine, we should head to bed.”

Sy affirmed the idea, and made to help her put their snacks away in the kitchen.

She got out containers for their leftover food while Sy stoppered the wine, put it in the fridge, and washed their glasses.

She felt his warmth before she felt his touch. He stood behind her, radiating his particular brand of heat for a moment, and taking in the scent of her hair near her right ear. She heard a low rumble from someplace deep in him which slowed her efforts at the counter. His hands were light but very much present on her hips. A whisper against the fabric of the casual but feminine floral dress she’d chosen for the night. But she felt it like the weight of her favorite old blanket, heavy with years and warm comfort.

He kissed her temple, chaste and unassuming. But still full of desperation. She could tell that he was ready. Even without the alignment of their bodies completely giving him away.

“Don’tcha think this stuff can wait a couple hours, darlin'?"

His baritone, breathless in her ear, was soothing her back into the mindset of being with him. His feather touch still lingering at her hips and waist. She thought back to those seminars she'd gone to on manual therapy where the speaker talked in depth about the fascial tissues running all across the various muscles in the human body and how trauma to one part could cause tension in another like a snag in a sweater and how he taught the participants techniques to undo that trauma through myofascial release. Sy was slowly managing to unwind and unbind the taut fibers of her heart and relieve that pain that Elliott, in particular had set into place so firmly when he'd hurt her. Lied to her. Cheated on her. Gaslit her. Made her feel like she'd never be loved if she left him. Made her question the very idea of what love meant. Because if what they'd had was truly love, she didn't want it. Wanted no part of the games or the abuse or the manipulation.

Without fully realizing it, during this time of reflection and healing, Shane had given up the task at her hands and turned to Sy, open to his treatment, as he'd always been so open to hers…or mostly. And she let him kiss her, reciprocating. And hold her, returning his enveloping embrace. She even let him pick her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, resting them on his…all too well-defined bilateral gluteus maximus that she'd had to pretend to ignore for weeks. In the therapist side of her brain, alarm bells were going off. "His knee isn't fully healed! You're gonna undo all of the work you've both done so far! He's gonna hurt himself carrying you around!" but she ignored them and trusted him as he walked to her room.

Shane wanted to say that her bedroom was one of splendor. Immaculately made bed, and overall, the picture of tidiness. The reality was much, MUCH different. Glasses half full of water were everywhere (she may be forgetful, but at least she was optimistic), at least one coffee mug sat on the nightstand from the previous weekend when she took a morning cup of tea in bed with her George Harrison biography. Laundry overflowed from a sorting hamper in the corner, and her bed sat, unmade, littered with crumpled pillows, sheets, blankets, and the pajamas she'd slept in last night. She wasn't the kind of person to make her bed for reasons other than having company over, like the fancy company you had to give a tour of your whole house. She'd tried to be that person numerous times, but it never seemed to stick.

Tonight, though, the guilt that came with sub-par housekeeping skills wasn't plaguing her. Right now, all she felt was the weightlessness of being with Sy, wrapped in him, kissing him, and fully ready for what was about to happen between them, as he fell with her onto her bed. Their heads clunked together awkwardly, invoking a mutual wince, followed by bouts of laughter and playful kisses.

He hovered over her a moment, just taking her in. His fingers ghosting her forehead and cheeks to clear it of the whisps of hair obscuring her face. He seemed to examine her in methodical quadrants. Learning the curves and colors and every wrinkle, freckle, and pore. She was still fully clothed, but she'd never felt so bare and vulnerable.

He left her eyes for last. His gaze drowning her delightfully. Random song lyrics came to mind, "the serenity of a clear blue mountain lake" and she thought yes. That is the precise aesthetic of this man's stare. His expression was inscrutable. She wanted to say he looked happy and content, but she didn't want to presume.

He began tracing the floral pattern on her dress with his fingers, and said, "I really like this dress on you."

She laughed, "Oh, that's the beginning of the oldest line in the book. You know you've already got me in bed, right?"

"No, I…" he chuckled, embarrased. "I mean it sincerely. Seeing you in flowers like this…makes me think they bloom right from ya."

She propped herself up on her elbows, dumbstruck by this uncharacteristically poetic side of him she'd just been shown. She stroked the side of his face.

"The man who came up with the original pickup line is rolling over in his grave attempting to kick himself for not thinking of something so beautiful."

"Yeah?"

"HELL yeah. He would have gotten WAY more lucky with a statement like that."

"You're probably right." he said, pulling her up to hold her in his arms.

"If for no other reason that it would have landed him a higher caliber woman than the floozies that he probably got."

He moaned his ascent against her neck, and continued, "Which would have meant a lot more getting lucky down the road, right?"

"Traditionally speaking, I'd say yes." she laughed, her fingers in his hair, which was barely long enough for the action.

"Okay, I know I said I liked the dress, but…" he tugged at the hemline tucked just under her hips and pulled it off her willing body.

"About time, cowboy!" she smiled, breathless.

He continued kissing her as he unhooked her strapless bra and tossed it aside, into the abyss, where the dress had gone. She was so dizzy from him that she barely noticed he was laying her down until her warm back hit cool sheets. She could feel his touch everywhere at once, despite the fact that he was really only making two or three points of contact.

Shane trembled as Sy peppered her soft body with kisses. She couldn't recall shivering like this before, especially when there was nothing but warmth, even heat, around her. His beard grazing her hips and thighs was sending tremors through her unlike anything she'd ever felt. She was a goner, and he hadn't even truly begun.

His breath against her skin was like lightning in the clouds. A storm began forming within, and all around them from his work on her…and eventually in her. He took the time to remove both of the shirts he was wearing--plaid cotton blend and thick white jersey. She reached out to run her fingertips over his chest, covered in a manly stand of thick, dark hair. It ran over his pecs and down his abdomen…farther, she knew, than was exposed right now.

She wanted to touch him. To return the favor. To stir in him the same tempest he'd stirred in her. She unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. She was a little surprised he wasn't resisting her, but pleased, all the same. She took the heavy weight of him out in some shock…she'd caught outlines and silhouettes often since they'd been together, but he hadn't let her go this far yet. It had made her feel a little slutty at the time, but now, she understood. He was…protecting her, in a way. She handled him curiously, gently, as he'd been with her. Her apprehension, however, grew with him.

"Sy, you're…I…" she wasn't sure what to say. But she had concerns about being rent in two by him.

"I think I remember tellin' ya you wouldn't be laughin,' sunshine." he grinned at her, breathless as she stroked him.

"You were right. But don't get too used to me saying so." she smirked back at him.

He pulled away from her, reluctantly, but eager to get back to tasting her.

She couldn't comprehend what he was doing. But it felt incredible. No one she'd ever been with had made her feel like this. Like her blood was effervescent and her body was aglow like embers. His reaction to her was as much a part of the pleasure as his ministrations themselves. She could tell he was enjoying himself which fed her desire.

She felt a tension coiling inside her, something similar to climaxes past but she could tell, much more intense. What was different? Other than Sy, she didn't know. But it was working. She moaned and writhed into him.

"Yeah, sugar. Let that out. I wanna hear it." he quickened, driving her mad and sending her spinning into her bliss, incomprehensible words and sounds escaping her, growls of satisfaction escaping him, but he didn't stop.

She felt his fingers working inside her to pull another climax from deep within her. This was new for her, as well. Not only was he putting her first, but he was making her a priority in double measure before taking anything for himself. As that pressure built in her again, she felt his gaze on her, hungry and adoring, and she heard his grunts of exertion and she thought, lust. She wasn't sure how many of his digits he'd managed to slide into her, but it felt splendid, and she wanted more. She gripped his arms to convey this desire, words caught in her throat. He dove headlong back down to her, adding his mouth to the onslaught of his hand, and before she could get out more than a "Fuuuu" she was falling apart again, her body spasming and writhing beneath his utter oral perfection. Eventually, she finished the word when she ran out of air and had to take in a large gasp on the "uck."

She watched him kiss around her thighs and hips, in awe of him in his entirety.

Breathless, she asked, "Why are you so good to me, Sy?"

"Well, a wise woman once told me, 'good go to heaven.'" he looked coyly up at her. "I think I'm there, sunshine."

"Ya know, you're the best patient I've ever had." she smiled.

"Well, I should hope so." he boasted as he kissed at her breasts, nipping at the taut, dark bud in the center. She gasped. He let go and continued his ascent.

He had a point. Who could have qualified as a "better" patient than him when he'd given her so much? Even more than what they were doing tonight. His kindness. The love he had always shown her, even when she wasn't ready to see it. His strength, but also his vulnerability that she seemed to be the only one ever to see. Combine that with the fact that his mind was basically a steel trap for her every word and it would have made him more than perfect enough for her.

But as he broke away from her kiss to take off his jeans, she marveled at the shape and size of his whole body. Those thick, strong arms, the broad, defined torso, the massive, powerful legs of an avid runner, and a face that God Himself would probably be jealous of, if He was capable of the feeling. This gorgeous exterior that Michelangelo would have killed to sculpt, combined with all of his other amazing qualities, and he was almost too perfect.

He cuddled up next to her, reached up, and caressed her face, still flush with pleasure.

"I could look at this face, and nothin' else for…damn… hours. Maybe days."

She blushed and cast her eyes down, and half whispered, "The feeling is mutual."

"Then why're you lookin' away, darlin'?" he tilted her chin up. "That shy business is cute and all, but you don't have to hide from me, sweetheart."

"Again, it's not you, it's me." she chuckled, nervously.

"You wanna call it a night, for now?" he asked without a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"You're kidding, right?" she raised her eyebrows. "You did all that work getting me ready for you, and I won't let that be a wasted effort." she pulled him to her and into a deep kiss, rolling onto her back and bringing him with her.

"Oh, sugar, that wasn't no wasted effort. That was time well spent. No matter what." he said in short bursts when he could pull away from her lips.

He lifted himself up and over her, kneeling between her legs, already open for him. She thought he should know how ready she was. Thought it should be painfully obvious. But he asked anyway.

"You ready, sunshine?" he asked, as he opened the condom and rolled it on…damn he was slick! She hadn't even noticed him get it from wherever he'd had it. She presumed his jeans pocket, which would explain much. She had been very distracted by his naked perfection.

"Yes. Please." she had been struck with an urgency as they stood here on the verge of everything.

He sunk slowly into her, the contentment of coming home spread over his face, the bliss of being whole spreading over hers. No, she thought. She was more than whole. She'd always felt mostly whole during sex. Sy made her feel as though she was overflowing with herself. And not just because she was overflowing with him. The way he moved in her, over her, with her, it was like he was afraid she'd turn to vapor around him before he could finish. Like she was nothing more substantial than a bubble full of smoke, and he thought she may burst and disappear. Although, you couldn't tell from the tight grip he kept on her. A bruising grip that she thought might have had a chance of popping a football. She didn't care. She wanted him to touch and hold her like this until they had no more to give each other.

As they built toward their mutual undoing, the world and everything in it faded away. There was no personal drama or injury. Nothing but the euphoria of this newfound oneness. The caresses and thrusts and groans of pleasure were the only things that mattered. Each other, and what they found therein.

“Shane.” He whispered to her, his pinnacle nigh.

“Sy!” She whimpered, that familiar tension approaching its apex.

He kissed her, as if he meant to permanently emboss her onto the bedding and onto his lips. She reeled as she came undone, little sparks of light obscuring her vision for a fraction of a second. He followed her closely, breathless and spent.

He laid down beside her, as close to her as possible, and began drawing mindless circular patterns on her stomach and around her breasts.

“Wow.” She said, almost under her breath.

“How ya feelin,’ sunshine?”

“Mmm, boneless. Dazed. Half wishing we’d done that weeks ago. I didn’t have a clue what I was missing.”

“Oh, I think you had an idea.” He said as he neatly doffed and disposed of the prophylactic in the waste can by her bed.

“Okay, a bit.” She chuckled. “It’s not like you can hide that…thing.”

“And I don’t try to, darlin’!” He kissed her forehead “Well, I don’t hide it just anywhere, put it that way.” He smirked at his dirty joke and she swatted him for it.

“You’re bad!”

“And you love it.”

She couldn’t argue. She loved his badness and his goodness and everything in between.

Up Next: Chapter Eleven- Discharge Plan 

[your-world-with-nct]

— 2020 has been a wild year for all of us and let me start this off by saying well done to us all for simply making it through this crazy ride - if surviving this year was your biggest achievement, that’s completely okay, and i am so proud of you for being here today !! despite the many, let’s say, mishaps, that have occurred this year, both nct and nctzens have been key in my 2020 and i couldn’t be more grateful for them, so i decided to make a little appreciation post of my own before the year ends 🥰

— to my followers ;

my petals !! i can’t believe i started off this year with around 300 followers and i’m now nearing 600 🙈 this account has grown so much this year and it’s all thanks to you. if you’ve ever come across my blog, liked or reblogged a piece of mine, sent me an ask, or pressed that follow button, i want you to know that i am so grateful for you and thank you for enjoying my works 🥺 hopefully 2021 will carry the same positive energy here on your-world-with-nct as it has this year and i’m hoping that you’ll be seeing a lot more fics in the near future 👀 once again, i love you petals <3

— to my dearest mutuals ;

@emistoomultifandom

em bubs !!! i know i could easily do this on any other app or even irl but i just wanted to thank you for making my year 🥺 my lockdown wouldn’t have been the same without us constantly texting and fangirling and our ty track/bfc reunion on my birthday was elite. and obviously this new school year has been an adventure and a half so far, with all the lunch time shenanigans, revision sessions, and exam stress, but i can’t wait for the rest of it 🙈 i am so grateful that i had you by my side during 2020 and i am eternally thankful that i’ll be able to go into the new year with you by my side once again 🧡💚💜

@misfitneo

bella - my first mutual, my tumblr mum - it feels like just yesterday that you wrote a beomgyu blurb for me after seeing my pink theme; now you’ve finished college and i’m applying to colleges 🙈i know we haven’t been able to talk as much recently but that doesn’t mean i appreciate your presence any less - i’m so proud of you for getting into med school and pursuing your dream 🥺🥺 i hope that this year treated you well, and that 2021 treats you even better 💞

@nsheeteeish

loml, almost birthday-twin, fellow leo and xiaojaem stan, fave writer - what do these things have in common? they all apply to v, or, yeet anon, if you remember the days where i ranted to you about my crush and you were a baby stay 😪 not only have you delivered such amazing content on ur writing and gif blogs, but you have provided so much comfort and joy to me whenever we message with dilay 🤧 i look forward to checking your blog every day for new posts and my twt and insta notifs in case you’ve sent me something or you’ve seen what i sent you 🙈 the fact that you think of me when you see certain things just warms my heart and you’re just such a caring person in general, thank you for being a part of my 2020 v, all the best wishes for your 2021 🖤

@cloudyangers

dilay !!! my resident yangqi and the person i think of straight away whenever i see yangyang 😚 i remember when you first requested that e2l chenle blurb back in 2019 and now the only chenle stan between us is v 😁 finding you on this app again after i forgot what ur skz blog’s url was, was just amazing and i don’t know what my tumblr experience would be like without me being able to reconnect with you 🥺 thank you for being able to make me laugh effortlessly with our lack of geography knowledge and our random antics, i will always look forward to seeing the username @cloudy_____ on my dash and screaming over renhyuckyang (+ sungchan 👀) with you for years to come 🤍

@nctsoftarchives

andi bb, my fellow dad!johnny stan 🥺 seeing you post a jaemin birthday blurb for me after your return to tumblr was so sweet and i can’t believe your first post after coming back was dedicated to me 🤧 i remember the day i first messaged you and you were gushing over how you were a big fan of mine and i said the same about you - we were just going back and forth about how much we love each other’s work 😌 you are such a talented writer and you are so full of love - wishing all the best for you in the coming new year babie 🥰

@jensungf

coming across leyna’s blog after reading that jsmr fic was the best decision, because not only have i befriended a brilliant writer, but also a jensung enthusiast who is just the kindest 🥺🥺 i think now would be a good time to tell you that despite jeno’s bias wrecking antics back in august, i actually bias jisung now 😃 i know we haven’t talked in a while, because of our busy schedules, but i hope you’re resting well and i hope that 2021 won’t be as hectic for you 💟

@doyoungcore

joyce, i know we only started talking recently but the serotonin boost both you and your works have given me this year is just incredible and i am so thankful for your warm personality on your blog and for your amazing fics 🤧 i started off as a silent reader who gushed about your writing in the tags but now i’m friends with such a talented writer and we just casually ramble about doie and jaems biases and writing struggles,,, wow 🤯 (btw took some of ur tips on editing headers 🙈) i hope that next year we can expand our friendship and that i can continue to give you the feedback you deserve 🥺💕

— favourite reads of the year ;

i have reblogged all of these to my main @/lovelycharm05 before, but i just wanted these masterpieces on here with everyone since these fics are so memorable and enjoyable to me <3 (beware there is lots of me gushing over how f&%#ing good all these writing techniques and plot devices are - can you tell i’m an eng lit nerd)

@nsheetee - moonlight café

obviously v released so many iconic pieces this year but this series was just *chef’s kiss* coffee shop au’s are the cutest to me because you can do so many different things with them, and you truly showcased that through each members’ part. although i am nahyuck biased (out of all the 00 liners), i have a soft spot for jeno’s part 🥺🤧 but that doesn’t mean i’m not obsessed with jealous jaems and cocky hyuck 🙈

@notnctu - to all the j’s i loved before

the very first work i ever read of yours, joyce 🥺🥺 i remember seeing an nct network reblog this and after reading through the summary of the series, i was enticed by the plot and i read most of your masterlist whilst waiting for the next parts 🤧 the main character’s relationship with each ‘j’ was unique to them and their interactions were just so sweet to read (except jaemin’s >:( why did my ult’s part have to be the angsty one 😤 jk jk i loved it anyways) special mention to ‘cupid’s arrow’, because that fic was an emotional rollercoaster and i loved that almost as much as i love bestfriend!jungwoo in the last part 😌

@misfitneo - lee haechan’s pride

it would be a sin if i didn’t include this in my top reads this year, pun intended 😌, especially since i have a weakness for mafia aus. i haven’t had the time to read mark or renjun’s parts yet, but from what i read in this fic, i’m sure theirs are just as good, if not better. the storybuilding and the development of the plot are so detailed and intricate and that is what i love in a fic. i already reviewed this on my main with a lengthy description of my favourite parts so i’m gonna keep this short and sweet - if you love haechan, mafia au’s, and enemies to lovers, you need to read this !!

@jensungf - passing clouds + only forever

these fics hit different now that i bias jisung 😭 ‘passing clouds’ was pure angst and as much as it hurt, it was written so beautifully and i loved it so much. ‘only forever’ healed the jisung shaped hole in my heart and made me fall in love with him all over again. the first love vibes he gives off is unbelievable and that innocence was presented perfectly in this 🤧 side note: never let jisung bake for you even if it’s as a peace offering 😖

@hyucksie - in the long run + second first kiss

although ‘sweet talk’ and ‘silent treatment’ are also contenders for some of my favourite fics of the year, these two have taken the cake 😌 the concept itself of time travel and mark and y/n seeing their future child was so creative and the mixed emotions that the characters experienced seeing their future were executed so well and the ending when their actual future selves remembered the day they time travelled 🥺🥺 not to mention the sequel doesn’t feel forced at all, the story flows well, and jealous mark is a cutie 🥰

@luvdsc - not clickbait

i’ve been following cat after i first read ‘i turned my best friend into an e-boy!! (and kissed him)’ and ever since then every piece of hers that i’ve read is simply breathtaking and so engaging. her style of writing is so unique and whenever i read anything of hers i feel so immersed in the fic. the dreamies as youtubers and tiktokers was such a cute concept to me and the little comment section at the end of each fic is probably my favourite part 😳 the way each member’s fic connects to the plot of another is perfect and their cameos in one another’s fic >>> (jisung telling y/n about the tiktok challenge in mark’s fic + cameraman jisung in chenle’s) i could keep talking abt this series for a lot longer but i’ll end it here, also i can’t wait for norensung’s parts 💞💞

@pwarkhans - the neo academy

i’ve probably mentioned my love for ‘the umbrella academy’ before but THIS !!! this series just made me love it even more 🙈 despite yangyang’s part being the only one that’s out, that and the prologue are interesting enough and seeing the 00 liners in this alternate universe is honestly amazing jxjwjxkw jaemin as three and hyuck as two is everything. the brothers’ relationship, especially in yangyang’s part, is so complicated yet so cute and i can’t wait for the rest of the members’ parts 💘

@yongtxt - vintage

when i first stumbled across this series, i was immediately intrigued by the plot, and not just because it was about rapper!mark and singer!y/n🧑‍🦯🧑‍🦯 the side characters (dreamies + doie and jisoo) were so funny and well-written and the plot >>>> i was so invested in the twists and turns of the story, the relief i felt when the conflict was finally resolved and we got our fav musician couple !!

@byunbaekby - apartment b23

i only found this series recently but wow am i invested in the plot already 😭😭 the conflict in the story is realistic and feels like something you could actually relate to. norenmin’s friendship/bond is so strong and evident through the story and the side characters are my babies (heejin, shuhua, lia - ily 🤧) i can’t wait for the rest of this series since i am a sucker for the perfect balance of angst, fluff, and crack in this 🥰

— favourite works of the year ;

unfortunately i haven’t had enough time to release any fics this year, and i’m hoping that that won’t be the case next year, but here are my top 5 favourite blurbs that i enjoyed writing and reading <3

1:48pm -> dad!johnny

one of the most popular blurbs on my blog to this day 🥺 honestly i get why, who doesn’t love dad!johnny? hyejoo is literally so adorable here and the family dynamics make me soft all over again whenever i reread this piece. also everyone’s reactions and replies to this are so heartwarming because everyone’s just whipped for the suh family 🙈

1:05pm -> soulmate!taeyong

i love soulmate au’s but something always irked me with the permanence of your soulmate like ,,, what if you end up falling out of love with them? then what? that inspired me to write my own take on soulmates, where they aren’t found, but made. taeyong’s character here is just so full of love and you know how much i love lovable boys 🤧 (ever wondered why i ult na jaemin...?)

12:13pm -> boyfriend!mark

7dream!!!! i don’t usually write domestic fluff even though it’s one of the genres i indulge in the most 😔 but when i do, i go all out because everyone needs to know how soft i am for my boys >:( mark’s love for the dreamies is so unique and i love their friendship so much, i had to write about it when i first heard about the 7dream announcement which i definitely did not cry at

11:40pm -> boyfriend!jeno

this was one of the first requests i ever got and i was just so touched than someone personally requested something from me AND it was jeno 🥺🥺 everytime i read the tags under this, everyone is just gushing over jeno and like,,, same 🙈 this type of fluff >>>

waking up with wayv -> wayv reaction

when em first requested this, i didn’t exactly know how to write something for each member without being too repetitive, but in the end, i loved the mini plots i wrote for them and it’s just one of my underappreciated faves 🥰

— favourite releases of the year ;

just a few of my favourite albums that got me through online school and revision sessions for offline school 🥲 ft. lots of nct + october albums bc that month was PACKED

nct 2020 - resonance pt1 + pt2

nct 127 - neozone: the final round

nct dream - ridin’

wayv - awaken the world

superm - super one

enhypen - border: day one

twice - eyes wide open

txt - minisode1: blue hour

seventeen - semicolon

stray kids - go live + in life

itzy - not shy

conan gray - kid krow

if you’ve managed to read all the way to the end, congrats for putting up with my lengthy and very sappy sentiment and sorry that you had to go through all of that 😭😭 thank you for being a part of my 2020, i hope that the new year allows us all to have a fresh start and brings us the opportunities we didn’t have this year. happiest new year to you all 🥳 (even tho it’s not 2021 yet when i’m posting this :))

[imnotwolverine]

The marriage pact - Maple syrup dreams

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 21 | Part 22 Maple syrup dreams | Part 23 >

Disclaimer: Just fluff

Author’s note: Do you know what I just can’t get enough of? Whenever I’m writing my fanfics I keep Tumblr open in the background and there’s nothing more fun than seeing you, the reader, pop up in my notifications every few minutes or so, liking yet another chapter of a long fic. At some point I even know when you’re having a tea break, or taking a moment to make yourself some food. It makes me, as a writer, feel all gooey with happiness (and I quietly enjoy the fun along with you whenever you’re reading my works, my mind bringing me back to when I was writing that particular chapter you just liked). Ugh! I’m such a sap today! I love you darling readers! ❤️

Word count: 2.042

(Link to my Masterlist)

Dear readers,

I am writing this blog from a far, far away place. My fingers a bit numb from the everlasting cold, the taste on my tongue remembering I had far too much Maple Syrup Taffy and my everyday schedule suddenly consisting off shoving snow and rubbing down snowy dog paws.

Me and chocolate cake are in Canada, where we’ll be for the next 2 months as he’s working on a movie here. A movie? Chocolate cake? Hold on, you may think. Tell me more about this mysterious chocolate cake that you seem to be getting serious with! Well dear readers, though many of you know by now whom my lovely chocolate cake is, I’d still like to keep our privacy a little while longer. So let us just say; talk, dark, handsome and a very practical human heater when sleeping together. Especially when you are staying in this freakishly cold country and the actual heater is broken.

Today I’ll be visiting the movie set for the first time, and thereby a part of a new life starts that may have seemed totally ridiculous had you told me I’d be here a few months ago. But alas(ka), here we go!

Ali

‘Morning love.’ Henry chuckled, watching me shuffle through the tiny hallway of the trailer, my body clad in probably every sweater and wool sock I could find. ‘Hmmpff..’ I grumbled, plopping down beside him on the small bench in the kitchen nook.

It felt a bit like my student days. Living on each others lip, this shared living space no bigger than some 24m2, the heating unit broken and the food..well..not great.

‘Need me to warm you up?’ He smiled, gesturing me to scoot over to his lap. Silently nodding I moved up to him, feeling his arms snake around me and pull me snug against his broad and warm chest. ‘Ungh..how can you only wear one sweater and not be cold?’

Henry laughed. ‘It’s called 4000 kcal a day intake and lots of exercising.’ He kissed my cold cheek, his slight stubble scratching my skin. I sniffled and shook my head. ‘Does not sound like my cup of tea.’ - ‘Doesn’t have to be. I’ll keep you warm.’ He hummed, pushing a warm hand beneath my layers of sweaters. ‘Besides, the maintenance team is going to check on that heater this afternoon, so with a little luck we get home tonight to a nice and warm trailer.’ - ‘Goooood.’ I hummed, then squealed, feeling him tickle my skin ever so slightly. ‘Very good.’ He smiled, sniffing my hair before placing a kiss atop my head.

‘Hmm..In case I haven’t mentioned it, I’m so glad to have you here.’ He whispered, nuzzling my hair some more. I chuckled. ‘Oh you only mentioned it about a hundred times or so.’ I leaned back a little so I could turn my face towards his, our noses touching.

He was SO warm.

‘I wouldn’t miss this for the world.’ I murmured, laying a pillowy kiss on his lips. ‘Besides I got some small tasks to help the team out with today, so I don’t have to wait for you to come home like the good housewife I am.’ I winked, making him snicker. ‘Very good wifey.’ - ‘I mean, I’m no wife..but..you know..housegirlfriend sounds weird.’ I shrugged, turning to steal a sip of coffee from his large mug and thereby missing the loving glint in his eyes.

He watched me for a few more long moments, enjoying his coffee and staring into the abyss of 6 AM nothingness, Kal still snoring quietly on his dog bed. He didn’t want to ruin the moment as it was, but there sure was a whole lot going on in his head.

I was his first girlfriend to join him for such a long movie shoot. And for the first time in a long time he didn’t feel so very alone. Didn’t feel like it was just another fleeting moment of a good life. This was going to last. He would make sure it would.

‘Oh are you going to finish that.’ I pointed at a leftover bite of his breakfast toast. He laughed aloud. ‘Go ahead. And, I’ll make myself a mental note to make double the amount of breakfast tomorrow.’

I blushed slightly as I felt his gaze on me, chewing that bit of toast. ‘Sowwyy.’ I gulped, quickly swallowing the toast. ‘You really don’t have to..-‘ - ‘No please Ali. You travelled half the world just to be here with me. The least I can do is make you breakfast while you wrap yourself in not one, not two..but THREE of my sweaters.’

My blush became even more fierce when I felt his chest rumble with mirth.

‘Mwu..they’re just really nice sweaters.’ I mumbled, pouting at him. ‘Hahah. Oh Ali-bear. I have missed you so.’

Ali-bear? I raised an eyebrow at him as my blush slowly faded. ‘Ali-bear?’ I asked with mild confusion. ‘Yes, since you call me Henry-bear and you ARE part of the bear pack now.’ He winked, nodding at Kal who was blinking open his eyes, the large Akita stretching out his paws with mild exaggeration. We both laughed. ‘A-ha..so I’m a bear now, too?’ I looked at him and he shrugged innocently, making me laugh even harder. ‘Oh Henry..you are un-BEAR-able.’  

—

The days on set were crazy long, crazy cold, but also crazy fun. After a week or so I got into a routine of helping for a few hours on set - moving and cleaning props, cooking meals with the cook, walking Kal -, followed by a few hours of working on my upcoming book and help out the Jersey Gazette with editing articles.

My life in Jersey felt like lightyears away, but I didn’t miss it as much as I had anticipated. All I really needed was Henry, silly as it seemed. Be it because we were crazy in love, or because we really had found great soulmates in one another. Even on 14 hour workdays we’d find the time to be there for each other, making life in general really rather pleasant.

Did I have a good idea for one of my stories? I’d pitch it to Henry. Henry needed to practise some new lines? I’d play his villanous counterpart. Did either one of us feel a little on edge? We’d have a quickie in the trailer.

Yes, life was good.

—

‘Hi mom..hello?..Mom? Can you hear me?’ The line crackled and my mom’s voice distorted in a wild flurry of screeches and blurred speech. ‘Let’s try again.’ I ended the call and waited for her to call me in turn, this time the line thankfully much more stable.

‘Oh! There we go!’ Mom exclaimed, hearing me giggle. ‘Hello Ali dear. Oh baby we miss you soooo!’

‘Hi mom. Miss you too! How’s everything at home?’

‘Quite exciting times over here..we finally adopted a dog! A four year old poodle mix, named Cookie. And she’s a lovely gal. Chewing on some shoelaces as we speak hahaha.’ - ‘Quite lovely indeed haha. So you truly miss me THAT much, hmm? Empty nest?’ - ‘Terribly. So how’s everything over there? Are you okay? Eating enough vegetables?’

Moms will be moms.

‘Yes mom haha. Plenty of vegetables. And I exercise everyday because it is crazy cold and there’s practically no other way to get warm..-‘ - ‘The things you do for love, hmm? I remember you experiencing your first snow. How you immediately ran back inside, not liking it one bit. And now you are living in meters of snow!’

‘Yes. The things we do for love.’ I heard the trailer door open behind me and looked over my shoulder, seeing two snowy bears enter, bringing with them a gust of icy cold air.

‘Close it..close IT!’ I exclaimed, waving at the door when Henry let it open, his arm filled with a number of plastic bags. Smiling, his nose also slightly red with cold, he bumped the door closed with his buttocks, Kal taking the moment to shake off the remains of snow in his fur and launching it at the both of us.

‘KALL!!’ I warned, the akita panting at me happily, acting as if he didn’t do anything wrong.

‘Shall I call back later dear? Sounds like you have some men to take care of.’ My mom’s voice sounded in my ear and I slowly nodded, my eyes tracking to Henry as he zipped out of his jacket and started rubbing Kal down with a towel, the dog continuing to circle away from him, thinking it was playtime.

‘Yea..call you back mom. Looks like Henry could use some help haha. Have fun with Cookie and send pictures!! Love you. Give dad a hug from me.’ - ‘I shall my dear. Kisses back!’ And that was the end of the call.

I quickly stood up and helped Henry dry off Kal, our smiles growing as the dog started to bounce up, licking our faces. ‘Who’s a good boy?!’ I cooed, rubbing him behind the ears, squatting down and allowing the dog to lean into me, going in for a big bear hug. The dog was more than glad to get all this attention, his head ducking down and pressing into my chest, eager to get even more pets. I laughed and looked up at Henry, seeing him get up and moving back to the bags that were now on the small kitchen counter, his hands digging through the contents

‘Whatcha got..-?’ - ‘Close your eyes!’ He stopped me mid sentence, looking over his shoulder with a mischievous glint in his ocean blues. ‘Ohhhkay..’ I said, slightly unsure, settling down so Kal couldn’t topple me over, the large Akita folding his large paws over my lap and also looking at Henry.

What was he up to? With a slow breath I closed my eyes, my hand continuing to trace languid circles through his fur. And then I felt something being pushed down on my head. Warm, soft. REALLY soft. A..hat? I wished to open my eyes but Henry clicked his tongue in warning, now picking up my hands and slipping them carefully in what probably were two mittens. My lips curled up in a smile, and I turned my head up expectantly.

‘Can I look now..?’ I asked quietly. Henry chuckled. ‘Almost.’

Then I felt something shift beneath my hands, Kal sitting up slightly.

‘Okay, now you can look.’

I opened my eyes and first saw Kal, wearing the cutest purplish blue knit scarf, and then the mittens on my hands. Also knit, but with a teddy-like material inside to keep my fingers nice and toasty. Reaching for my head I could feel a hat there. ‘With bear ears.’ Henry sniffled, nodding. ‘I know you don’t want me to get you presents. But it’s a bit of a special day.’

‘Special..day..?’ I quirked up an eyebrow, then smiled feeling the two small bear ears on my head. Slowly I lowered my hands again and gave Henry a studious look. ‘Special day.’ Henry smiled, sitting down beside me and Kal, his eyes glittering.

‘Did I ..miss..something?’ I gave him a suspicious look.

Henry chuckled. ‘Perhaps a calendar.’ He reached for my mittens and pulled me to his chest, noses nearly touching. ‘Happy half year anniversary sweet little icicle of mine.’ He said with a smile in his voice, his lips trying to brush against mine, but failing as I gasped in horror. ‘OOOH…I FORGOT.’

Henry laughed all the harder, shoulders shaking and Kal shifting so he could lean into the both us, head squeezed in between our chests. ‘That’s quite alright. Now c’mhere.’ He snickered, pulling my embarrassed face to his, our lips finally melting together.

And how hot and cozy that moment was.

Nothing big and outrageous. No hours of driving just to get to some half decent restaurant. It was just Henry, me and Kal. The three of us enjoying a first home cooked dinner in weeks whilst laughing at the extra warm clothes Henry had gotten me - he could not stand it seeing his girl be cold, and though he loved sharing his sweaters..he did need some of them for his own use too, especially when we went out for our morning runs.

It was sweet, thoughtful, simple and much of what I expected of true love. A maintenance kind of love.

And from here on any next steps in our relationship didn’t seem so scary. I had not even given the whole donorship thing a second glance since we had arrived in Canada. This? This might very well be it, you know? 

--

General tagsquad: @harrysthiccthighss​ @tumblnewby @magdelen69​ @thereisa8ella​ @mary-ann84​ @darkbooksarwin​ @summersong69​ @madbaddic7ed​

Fluff lovers squad: @star017​ @perhaps2remember​ @pterodactylterrace​ @witchersqueen​ @desperate-and-broken​​ @toomanyfandomsshreya​​ @deliciouslysassyarcade​​ @pamacs-macs​​ @cavilladdict​​ @scorpionchild81​​ @lebguardians​​ @sofiebstar​​ @amberbabem​​ @mis-lil-red @aestheticqueenb​​ @misslalaland-blog-blog​ @ilieherecharmed-fics2readnrec​ @michelehansel​ @henryfanfics101​

Want to be added to or removed from the tag list? Shoot me a message!

[universitykpop]

It’s time to talk about it

I’ve decided to publish that post I talked about the other day. I’ve noticed several other writers on here are making posts about lack of feedback and interaction and that they’re leaving or no longer writing. This is a topic that I’ve tried to not post a lot about because I didn’t want to seem ungrateful or annoying. But if there’s any time to talk about it, it’s now. I’ve put it below a cut because it is quite a long post with a lot of my emotions about tumblr and my blog. So buckle up, kids, ‘cause it’s a rollercoaster of feels.

My Experience as a Tumblr Fanfic Writer;

When I started this blog, I was fresh off of onedirectionfanfiction.com and 5sosfanfiction.com, where I never had many readers or any feedback. I got maybe 10 comments (they weren’t in-depth reviews, just ‘omg’ or ‘harry’s so hot’) in total from my dozens and dozens of long fanfics (some stories hitting over 100k words which I can’t even dream of now). Coming onto here, I didn’t think my writing was going to get much attention based on past experience. There was a handful of “big scenario blogs” and I liked and reblogged everything I enjoyed reading because that’s how I wanted people to interact with my content. I didn’t know how it felt to receive positive feedback but I wanted others to, even when they were already getting it from so many other readers. When I hit 500 followers, I thought that was it, I wasn’t going to get more followers/readers. I had readers requesting that I do requests and begging for more parts of stories meant to just be oneshots. I was so over the moon to be receiving that kind of love for something I enjoyed doing. I felt like I was finally good at something; I had a purpose for spending hours writing about people I admired and liked. I was getting messages almost everyday for two years and if I hadn’t posted in so long anons were in my ask box asking if I was still here. I had regular anons who went by cute little anon names for a short time. My notifications exploded so much that I had to turn off push notifications because my phone would not stop going off in classes. I cannot describe how happy I was in that time. I have been writing and reading fanfics since 2009 and I always wondered how it would feel to be one of the “popular” writers on a fic site, and during 2016/2017 I thought I achieved that based on the interactions I got. 

As I continued to write, I started to notice many of the fic writers I followed started making friends with other writers I followed. As someone who is very introverted, shy, and socially anxious (especially at this point in time of my blog), I wondered if any other writers would reach out to me and befriend me. No one ever really did, and I thought something was wrong with me. They had their group chats and inside jokes they’d post and tag each other. They would inspire each other to write things and bounce ideas off one another. I haven’t ever felt like I was a part of the kpop fanfic writing community; I was just kinda there. People knew my url but didn’t know me. I had mutuals who messaged me a few times, and then a while later I go back to see what they’re doing and they’re no longer mutuals with me. It shouldn’t have bothered me but it did. Was I annoying? Did they just not like me? Did someone else talk shit about me and then that person changed their opinion about me? I’ll never know because I don’t like confrontation. I have always felt kind of left out, and it reminded me a lot of my real life. Since 2015 when I started this blog, I’ve made one friend and I still talk to her to this day. At times, she was my only friend. She knows who she is, and I cannot say how grateful I am that she reached out to me.

Around 2018, interactions just kind of stopped. I became paranoid and frantic about how I could get back to where I was, but nothing I did worked. As I approached 17k followers, only needing two more to hit it, I began to lose followers by the dozens. I couldn’t figure out why. I was still posting stories but barely got feedback. I decided to stop writing for a bit and not many readers were concerned. It got to the point that I avoided getting on here because I knew I would only get upset and feel guilty by logging on. It felt weird because I had such a large following yet no one cared. And now, I sit at 16.4k followers who barely interact with my content. I don’t get messages about my content, and sometimes I get more than 5 notes in a day. I don’t feel motivated to write because who’s going to read it? I felt like I lost my purpose; it didn’t matter if I continued to write. My stories became shorter and more scarce. I moved to other platforms to see if engagement would go up, but it didn’t. It was pointless to post here and on other sites. I had a taste of praise and I miss it. When it stopped, I couldn’t figure out if I had done something wrong. I study consumer behavior and write papers about it for my Masters degree, and I still can’t figure out why fanfic readers don’t engage with authors on here. In merchandising, people are always willing to give their opinion on products whether it’s good or bad, so why aren’t fic consumers willing? Some writers I’ve read, who I watched grow in popularity and envied their readers interactions, are now in the same boat I’m in and I hate that this is happening to us. Some of them I’m shocked they are also dealing with this. We make this content for free, spending h o u r s to create it, and we get nothing in return. I loved being able to connect with my readers and feel their emotions about my stories. It made me feel fulfilled finally as an fic author.

Now, I can’t remember the last time I opened my scenario documents. How could something that I loved doing for so long become a burden? This blog caused some of my happiest moments and my saddest. Sometimes I debate deleting my account or logging off for good. But I can’t let go after all the effort I’ve put into my blog. 

Would I recommend becoming a Tumblr fanfic writer? Absolutely not. Do not make Tumblr your primary source where you post your stories. Focus on interactions and feedback from actual fiction websites, where it is meant to host those relationships.

This post isn’t meant to shame anyone or brag. I wanted to be real for a moment and tell my truth. So many writers randomly leave without a word, and I just can’t let myself do that. I want to be in the fandoms and contribute and have fun, but I feel like my time to do that has been over for a long time, like I don’t belong here anymore. I’ll still be around but I probably won’t plan to update stories, specifically on this blog. I will most likely post random oneshots on my ateez sideblog @alotofteez and my accounts on aff and ao3. I’ll still make photo edits every once in a while. I really didn’t think I’d make this sort of “goodbye” post because I had so many plans for this blog that just unfortunately never came to fruition.

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 18, Unread - Pt. 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, betrayal, mentions of sex, mentions of violence, threats.

Word Count: 1.9k

Previously On...: You saw something on Bucky's phone that changed everything.

A/N: Here it is-- the final betrayal. I'm sorry. It can only go up from here, right? LOL no.

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

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“Care to tell me why we’re meeting in an unused guest suite on a floor that’s mostly under construction?” Nat asked when you opened the door of your borrowed new room to let her in. You didn’t utter a word, just thrust a copy of the text screenshots into her hands and sat down at the edge of the unfamiliar bed, waiting for her to read them.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“Just read it,” you told her, voice devoid of any emotion.

Natasha scanned through the messages, her eyes widening in shock and disgust as she made her way through them. “This has got to be some sort of sick trick, right?” she asked you when she’d finished. “Like, Carthage found some program online to make up fake text messages and sent them to mess with you. Barnes would nev–”

“I screenshotted them off of Bucky’s phone, myself, Nat,” you informed her. 

There was a knock on the door and Nat opened it to reveal Wanda. “I came as soon as I could,” the other redhead said. “Why are we having a secret meeting?” Nat handed Wanda the screenshots and came to sit next to you on the bed while she read them.

Wanda’s hand flew to her mouth. “No,” she whispered, looking back up at you. “How could he? There must be some kind of mistake.”

“No mistake, Wands,” you said, standing up to take the pages from her. “It’s all right there, typed out by the man himself.” And then, as if to punish yourself further, you began to read out loud the text between Bucky and Jade:

Vix <3: Hey there, handsome xoxo

Vix <3: Bucky?

Vix <3: You just going to ignore me after everything?

>> How are you texting me? You're supposed to be blocked.

Vix <3: You should keep better track of your phone, then ;) 

Vix <3: Or, at the very least, choose a better passcode.

>> What do you want?

Vix <3: I want to talk about what happened the other night.

>> Nothing happened.

Vix <3: Come on now, we both know that's not true ;)

>> It was a mistake. I should have never done it.

Vix <3: You don't make a mistake two separate times, Barnes.

>> Well, I did. And I regret it.

Vix <3: You didn't seem to regret it when you were blowing loads of cum inside of me.

>> Jesus Christ, Jade. You don't have to be so fucking crass about it.

Vix <3: I thought you liked girls with dirty mouths.

>> Jade, I have a girlfriend. She’s the only one whose mouth I like dirty. Or at all.

Vix <3: That's right, your Perfect, Precious Pocket.

>> Do not talk about her.

Vix <3: Oh please. Don't pretend you care about her now.

>> I love her.

Vix <3: You have a funny way of showing it, sleeping with me just a day and a half ago.

>> She is EVERYTHING to me.

Vix <3: Obviously not.

>> I thought she slept with Steve.

>> I was a fucking idiot.

>> It was a misunderstanding.

Vix <3: Orly? That how she's going to see it?

>> She's not gonna find out.

Vix <3: You think you can hide the truth from her? Please.

>> The last thing I want to do is hurt her.

Vix <3: Should have thought of that before you fucked me. Twice.

Vix <3: If you don't tell her, I will.

>> She'd never believe you. She fucking hates you.

Vix <3: I don't need her to believe me. I just need her to see these texts.

>> You wouldn't.

Vix <3: Try me. You don't want to fuck with me, Bucky.

Vix <3: Tell her the truth or I will.

>> I swear to god, Carthage, you breathe a word of this to her and I *will* fucking kill you.

>> That is not an idle threat.

>> Ending your life would be as easy for me as breathing.

Vix <3: You wouldn't.

>> Do you want to try me?

>> Because I promise you, she is the most important thing in this world to me, and if you threaten that, I will end you without losing a wink of sleep.

>> You know what I'm capable of. Don't test me.

>> Do you understand me?

>> I said, do you understand me?

Vix <3: Christ, yes, Barnes. I understand.

Vix <3: I'll keep my mouth shut.

Vix <3: But you're a real piece of shit, you know that?

>> You're not telling me anything I don't already know.

Vix <3: I'd be so fucking good to you if you just gave me a chance.

>> Not happening. And if I find out you even insinuate to Pocket, or to anyone, what happened in Russia, it will be the absolute last thing you ever do, and no one will ever find your body.

Vix <3: I already told you, I won't tell your Precious Pocket. I'm not a liar.

>> Good. We're done. I'll speak to Steve about having someone else take over your training.

Vix <3: WHAT?! You don't have to do that!

>> I can't be around you anymore. I don't want to be around you anymore.

Vix <3: Temptation too strong? Afraid you'll make another 'mistake'?

>> Fuck you.

Vix <3: You already did, baby xoxo

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Wanda whispered when you’d finished reading. “Pocket, honey, are you alright?” She looked at you as if she were terrified you were going to break. And maybe the old you would have. This new you, the one that was forged under rage and ice, was made of harder, crueler stuff.

“I’ll live,” you said. Nat and Wanda exchanged a glance that didn’t escape your notice. “What?” you snapped at them.

“Hey,” Nat said, “Don’t get mad at us; we’re just worried about you. The last time he pulled something like this, you were a mess. This,” she indicated the sheets of paper you still held, “is way worse, so forgive us for expecting you to not be okay.”

You sighed and slumped down into a nearby chair. “I’m sorry, guys,” you said. “Obviously I’m not okay, and it’s not fair of me to take out my frustrations on you. But this time is different. Before, I was devastated, I was sad. But now? Now I’m fucking pissed. It’s like every ounce of love I felt for him has been turned into pure, unadulterated hatred, and all I want is for him to fucking suffer. I want him to hurt the way he hurt me.” Wanda opened her mouth to speak, but you interrupted her before she could. “And I know that’s not healthy, Wands. Trust me, I know that. I’ve just never been this angry before in my entire fucking life. God, not even at fucking Darren.”

“Who’s Darren?” Wanda asked, but Nat shook her head at her.

“Not now,” she said.

“I don’t even want him dead,” you continued, voice rising, as though Wanda hadn’t spoken at all. “Death would be too good for him! I want him to feel pain, pain like he has never experienced before in his long, utterly useless life!”

“Pocket,” Nat warned. She knew you were dangerously close to saying something you might eventually come to regret.

You sighed, the rage fleeting and leaving you feeling hollow and broken. “I know,” you said. “I don’t really mean it. I’m just so goddamned hurt!”

“I know it’s difficult to believe this right now,” Wanda said, taking a step closer to put a hand on your shoulder, “but he does still love you– he said he—”

“No,” you interrupted, sounding every bit as defeated as you felt. “You don’t do that to someone you love. You just don’t. This morning, he talked about getting our own place, getting married, starting a fucking family.” You choked back your emotions, but your voice still cracked. “I thought he was ready to take things to the next step, to prove how much I meant to him, but he was just trying to distract me, trying to get me out of the Tower because he couldn’t risk me running into her, couldn’t risk her telling me the fucking truth he was too much of a coward to admit.”

Nat and Wanda looked from you to each other, lost in their sense of helplessness, of not knowing how to care for you in your time of need.

“You know,” you went on, “I probably would have forgiven him, if he had just straight up told me the truth. I mean, we weren’t even technically together, so it wasn’t cheating. If he’d said ‘I’m sorry, Pocket. I saw those articles and I went fucking crazy with jealousy. All I could think about was getting back at you because I thought you betrayed me.’ Yeah, I’d have been pissed, and it might have taken a while, but I could have forgiven him if he had just been fucking honest with me. That’s all I ever asked of him. That he just be fucking honest. But he’s lied to me, again and again and again.

“He took away my right to make an informed choice about my own fucking life,” you said, and this time, the emotions couldn’t be held back. “He of all fucking people should know what that feels like,” you sobbed. “He should know how valuable that choice is! How valuable it is to me!” And there it was, really, the crux of the matter. He knew how much you valued the freedom you now had over your own life, after so many years of not having any choices in what happened to your own body, and he’d stolen your ability to make a choice for yourself. He’d had sex with you, knowing you never would have consented if you knew he’d been with Carthage less than 24 hours prior. He’d violated so much more than your trust this time.

Nat stood up and raced over to you, throwing her arms around you. Wanda looked on for a moment, confused, before joining Nat in embracing you.

The entire time you’d been speaking to your friends, your phone had been silently vibrating. You’d turned the ringer off as soon as you texted Nat and Wanda, asking them to meet you. You didn’t need to look at the screen to know that it was Bucky who was trying to get ahold of you. If you’d been in a better frame of mind, you’d have laughed at the irony– here you had spent all day yesterday waiting on a text or call from him that never came, and now he was blowing up your phone and you couldn’t stand the thought of  speaking to or hearing from him. Life was sure funny sometimes.

“Ms. (Y/L/N), Ms. Romanoff, Ms. Maximoff,” FRIDAY’s voice rang through your borrowed room. “Mr. Stark is requesting everyone’s presence in Conference Room C for a mandatory pre-mission briefing to begin in ten minutes.”

“Fucking Tony,” you moaned. A mandatory meeting meant a mandatory encounter with Bucky, and you were so not ready for that yet.

“Don’t worry,” Wanda said, squeezing your hands. “Natasha and I won’t leave your side. He won’t be able to get near you. I’ll put a forcefield up around you if I have to.”

You managed to sniff out a laugh and wiped your nose. “Thanks, Wands. I really appreciate it.” Steeling yourself, you stood up from your chair. “Let’s go see what Tony wants.”

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->

[carryonmywaywardwriters]

One Day At A Time - Jensen x Reader

A/N: Part Three! If you’d like to be tagged, please sent an ask or message. As always, feedback is incredible. And, I hope you all enjoy <3

PSA: I am NOT a minor friendly blog. If you are below 18, please come back when you’re older. I don’t want to lose my blog because you were too eager to grow up. If I discover you, I WILL block.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Widower!Jensen. Grieving process. Age Gap. Character pregnancy. Unrequited feelings. Online personality problems. Guilt. I believe that is all.

Word Count: Roughly 2,700

“Hi, there,” The woman giggled into the mic as Jensen played up the flirty eyebrow bounce and cheesy smile that would be cast over Tumblr within twenty four hours.

He was finished after that final panel, for the trip. Nothing sounded better than a hot shower and catching some sleep. His mind was still reeling from the news he'd been given that morning, but he couldn't focus on that. So, he buried himself behind that charming persona he'd created.

“Dude, leave her alone...she wants me,” Jared smoothed his thick, long, chestnut locks in a way that caused thirsty cries from all around. He cackled as his friend mock frowned his way; unimpressed at the turn of attention. Earning the familiar high pitched laugh from the crowd in front of them.

It was easy to play into their hands. To take the nerves that came with being shy and put it towards acting like a dork with his best friend. He appreciated the disguise more than he'd ever say. Letting it mask the worry and fear he could feel churning inside of him when it was too quiet for long.

“Actually, my question is for Jensen-”

“Ha!” The mentioned man in question leaned forward at the barked utterance, pretending to gloat. Smugly bouncing his brows at Padalecki.

With a deep, regretful sigh, the taller of the two settled back in his chair; wrapping his arms around the back of it as he sat in reverse, “Okay, I guess.” The over dramatically stated words were coupled with a theatrical sulk that drew forth more giggles.

“I was wondering if Y/N and the kids are enjoying the trip to San Diego,” It was no secret that his family had been flocked around him. Until now, that is. The way he paused at that had every eye present turning towards him.

“Uh, actually...” He forced his lips to stay upright. “They're back home, right now.” Concerned 'awes' filled the air. “No, no. It's okay. They're living it up.” Jared turned his gaze back to the man he'd been brothers with for almost two decades. Not buying into the idea that he was really alright with it. “Last time I checked, they were having some kinda dance party. Again.” The way he clenched his teeth relaxed the fans a bit. An over emphasized grimace always seemed to break the mood. “It was wild. There was pink everywhere and a herd of little girls shouting to music.”

“Odette was leading the charge on the one I got,” The taller man joined in, having received his own recording. “Kicked Zeppelin over to my place for an old fashioned dinosaur night with the boys.” More awes filled the air.

“Y/N sent you something? I thought you two still weren't talking after you tried to drown her?” His brow crooked, finding something he could latch onto. Knowing that his friend had delivered that ammo on purpose. He really did love the moose.

“I can explain!” Jared held up his hand towards the 'ooohs,' and then stopped. “No... no, I can't.” His head dipped in false shame, earning another set of rambunctious chuckles.

“I can.” Jensen easily took over. Turning to better face the crowd now that he'd successfully maneuvered around the original question. “This guy tortures my nanny. She's like the female version of Misha to Jared. It's endless.” The mentioned man's lips screwed up as he nodded proudly, accepting the label that was thrown onto you. “So, we were at a cookout over at his place. I'm flipping burgers and relaxing with a beer. You know...like a normal person.” His words only made his friend shrug. Zero shame in sight. “Next thing I know? She's screeching as he full on tosses her into the pool.”

“She called me old!” The roar that followed was deafening. “See? They get it!” He beamed at the response only serving to make Jensen over-exaggerate the roll of his green eyes. “And, it worked. What did she say after?”

“You're a child.” The admission was straightforward.

“Meaning that I'm young, and that she was wrong.” A round of applause made him get to his feet, and bow as the widower shook his head in mock shame. Cracking his own grin.

The mic was lifted back to Jensen's lips, “Dude...you started a war because she told the truth?” He knew what had been said, but the crowd was eating it up. Keeping him safe for a little while longer.

“That hurts...” A pat to the heart was thrown in. “That hurts me right there.”

“The kids all joined in. It was chaos.” Ackles explained the previous comment to the women, with a few men scattered here and there. “My kids and Y/N versus his herd and him. We needed an ark to get to the tables. They soaked everything.” His hand panned across the people in front of him, emphasizing how far the damage had spread. “Everything. Gen thought they were going to kill each other.” Jared cackled. Remembering the look on his wife's face. “Y'all know how we had to stop pranking each other, right? 'Cause it was so deadly? That's what they should be doing. Instead, she's become this...epic battle partner. I'm thinking they'll start the next apocalypse before this is over.” A proud nod confirmed it. Jared wouldn't give in until the world ended. Or, he had to go back to work. Whichever happened first.

“Do you prank Y/N?” Someone shouted, catching his attention.

“Do I... Do I prank her? Are you kidding? Do I look stupid?” More laughs filled the air as he shuddered something fierce. “Misha? Absolutely. He doesn't fight back.” His fingers tacked off each point. “He doesn't live in my house. Doesn't hang out with my kids. I like not having to worry about her sicking my spawn on me in retaliation. They'd do it in a heart beat, too.” And most importantly, it kept the professional barriers somewhat in place. “Yeah, no, Y/N and I don't....we're not...” Weren't anything other than co-parents, employer and employee, and almost friends in an odd sort of way. How's that for complicated?

“As fun as I am,” Jared finished, saving him, again. Hoping that the fans wouldn't take that last statement as he had started to. He covered his own look of interest before diving back into the panel. “Now, that we went way off topic....who's next?”

–

“How did the 'mom' thing even start?” You asked in confusion, scrolling through your Instagram notifications. Your feet thrown over the back of the couch as you sprawled. Making yourself quite at home in the Ackles house. The selfie you'd posted while cleaning the damage the girls had caused was packed.

Not that you weren't used to it by that stage. The moment Danneel had tagged you in a post, it had been over. You'd been stalked and fawned over by some. When she passed? You'd been flocked for updates about the Ackles family.

It had taken a year for you to gather the courage to begin posting again. Once you did? The fandom clung to you for offering small pieces of what life was like inside the Ackles' household. Needing to have that sense of closeness to the supernatural family, still, even with a member gone.

The simple image of you with Oscar resting his head on your lap as you sorted the makeup away had garnered the usual 'queen', 'mom', and 'I love yous' mixed with the occasional trash talker. Once Jensen had commented saying he wanted his dog back when he got home? It had grown worse. When you told him that he'd have to fight you for the golden doodle? The post had blown up. The fans demanding to know if you and him had something going on.

Apparently his panel had only cemented the idea, somehow. You hadn't watched it. Leaving you to only wonder what he'd said to garner that response. Sure it had simply been taken out of context.

You scrolled on, determined to find some answers. A few flicks of your fingers and fate intervened. The phone slipped to your face. Making you wince all the while. As if life had directly told you that social media was bad for your health.

With a sigh, you tossed your phone to the couch. Trying to not let the extreme Danneel and Jensen fans get under your skin. Too many 'you'll never be her' comments filled your mind. More than enough 'stop trying to take her place' had you questioning where you stood. You were doing everything you could to get what was needed done while not dancing on your deceased friend's toes.

Did the world really not understand? Were you really any better off than they suggested? The small crush said you weren't.

“No idea,” Genevieve stated seriously, walking towards the grey couch you were occupying with a pile of healthy snacks loaded up. Pulling you from the internal struggle. She'd been extra conscious of what she was putting into her body since she'd discovered the newest pregnancy. “I just kinda...roll with it.”

She and the kiddos were bunking with you. Tag teaming was so much simpler when the baby exhaustion hit. And it gave the both of you some grownup time together when the men were away.

“It's so strange,” You picked up one of the grapes with your fingers before plopping it in your mouth. Giving up on trying to understand the fact that you'd become an icon of sorts- and the ramifications- for simply nannying some, albeit great, kids.

At your friend's next words, you choked, “So...what's the deal with you and Jensen?”

“It's the same as its always been,” Came the broken words as you got back a hold of yourself. Brushing it off. “Why?”

“Just curious,” That wasn't it. The cool, actress's poker face she wore said as much. But, you were too sensitive to call her out on it, just then. Luckily, she changed gears. “I can't believe that this is it...The last season is being filmed this year.”

The CW had finally pulled the plug on the Winchesters once it had hit adulthood. The boys had found out in a meeting that morning. They'd known it was coming. Had even agreed to it. And yet? Hearing the finality of it? Was another nail in the coffin.

“Eighteen seasons...It's crazy.” Your hand ran through your hair as you looked at the old episode on screen. Sister Jo stood off against Michael!Dean. The tension in the scene was palpable. It didn't hurt to watch it, anymore. Instead, you focused on the fact that she'd been doing what she loved with the man she'd been head over heels for. “How's Jared holding up?”

“He's zeroed in on the kids. Telling himself that it's going to be good for us in the end.” Her hand rubbed over her still flat stomach. “But, he's definitely feeling it. He's been Sam for so long... Saying goodbye is hard.”

“That it is,” You agreed, frowning at the screen. Wondering how Jensen was taking the day.

He hadn't said a thing to you when he'd checked in. Simply had asked for an update on the household before he crashed. Dean had become his crutch. Without the Winchester in his life, you weren't quite sure what he'd do with himself.

Ackles had a passion for directing and acting. There was no doubt about it. But, Supernatural had become everything when his life had turned upside down. It had given him the consistency he'd needed to get through. And while things had been okay for a time? It would be just another major thing he was losing.

Your socked foot rubbed over the soft fur of Icarus. The cockapoo was up there in age. He'd been diagnosed with congestive heart failure at sixteen years old. The white, fifteen pounds of floof didn't let it deter him, though. A couple of pills a day kept him comfortable and loved for as long as he could be. But, it had gotten under Jensen's skin, too.

It made your stomach churn to think about how fast the negative could pile up on already weakened shoulders. And yet, he wanted you to step back. Having time away from him had cleared your head. Allowed you to see his side of things. Maybe it was time to give him some room to breathe. To let him process everything on his own. After all, you were just the nanny...

–

“Dad!” Three voices shouted in unison when the door opened. Ditching their place at the table as Jensen stumbled in with a wide smile on his face. Each kid got a big hug, and a kiss on the cheek.

When they tried to talk over each other, he slowed them down, gently with a, “One at a time.” And, miraculously? It worked. He was informed of everything he'd already had reported to him. Only this time? In child perspective. Which made it dramatic. Completely over the top. Just the way he liked it.

A nod your way was all you received as you slipped past the scene; lifting his bag for him so that no one tripped over it. Including the bumbling dog that was trying to get a kiss in, himself. Oscar had missed his human while he'd been gone.

The dog had been with Danneel's brother during her last pregnancy. She'd been too sick to handle the energetic buffoon while Jensen had been away, filming the show. Gino had fallen in love with the pup. Keeping him...until he thought Jensen needed him more. Returning him back to the Ackles' home solemnly. Oscar had, once again, latched back onto the head of the house with a fierce loyalty that most wouldn't expect from a fluffed up mixed breed. The affection was mutual. Jensen's hand stilled the squirming beast with a simple pet to the top of his curled head as you left the chaos.

Jensen's room was clean. A feat that wouldn't last long once he started unpacking. Bed made up, clothes lined nice and neat, with just a hint of his cologne still lingering in the air from before he'd left. You dropped the duffle on the mattress and turned away. Only to catch sight of the image beside his pillow. It held the dogs, his wife, and the kids all surrounding him. Everything he loved in one picture. His family.

Slowly, you slid the door shut and returned back to the reunion, “Dinner's ready if you're hungry.” You smiled softly at the way he ensured each kid knew that they were loved before climbing back up to his feet. Lumbering after you to get the food while it was still hot.

“Spaghetti,” The actor rumbled in excitement, sniffing the air as he approached the table. His lips smacked hungrily. He was a sucker for a pasta with a good meat sauce. “The wardrobe ladies are gonna be mad at me, later, but I'm piling it up.” He hadn't exaggerated. The flight had left him hungry. “God, this is good.” Came the Dean-like groan as he chowed down. Forgetting that he didn't have to eat like a man who had lived off of nothing more than pizza and beer.

“Dad!” The tiny, disapproving tone left J.J with ease. “You're not supposed to talk with your mouth full.”

He gulped down the food, and smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, J-bird.”

“It's okay. Just try to remember,” The words were so Danneel that you couldn't help but to smile gently at them. She was going to be trouble as she continued to age. But, you had faith she'd be pretty great in the end. Hell, they all would if the night was any indication.

If he was upset about the show ending, he didn't show it. Even after the kids retired for the night and he helped clean up, he didn't say a word. The only thing you got was a pat on the back and a low “goodnight” that made your skin prickle before you returned your own.

Part Four

ODAAT: @winchester-ofthe-lord​​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @ima-be-a-mongoose​ @briagallen​

Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278​​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​​

Forever: @dean-winchesters-bacon​​ @supernaturalginger​​ @lilulo-12​​​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ @malfoysqueen14​​​  @michealneedssomemilk

[rem289]

Q: Why are you writing this post?

A: Because during the Christmas holidays I started to receive attention from the Zootopia fandom which led me to re-discover some concepts that I thought I had made clear, and since this didn’t turn out to be true, I am forced to reiterate them.

Q: What happened?

A: I discovered that someone had reposted, obviously without my consent, an old comic of Aoimotion and mine on reddit, a site I don't like and on which I had already said not to publish my actually and old contents. This repost "reminded" this fandom of my existence, and after this event some people came to ask us questions such as "when Nick and Judy would reappear in our work?" and the like.

You can imagine how much it bothered me, so I went to reddit and wrote to immediately delete the content. Unfortunately, doing this I couldn’t help but notice how the post had become a place to waste insinuations and insults aimed at me and Aoimotion. In particular, the comments of three users stood out: @ggctuk , @owningsuperset7​ and @hammytotherescue

Q: Why did these users get your attention?

A: ggctuk, which I have no idea who they are, have proclaimed themselves as the narrative voice of the events that have taken place between us and the fandom, providing a lot of incomplete and, in the worst case, completely wrong information, about why we left the fandom and about the alleged "abusive behaviors" we had against translators.

Owningsuperset7 spoke about us (like he does every time the occasion presents itself to him), defining us ungrateful towards the fandom "that had fed us". But "fed" in what sense? It seems to me that we have been those who have definitely "eaten" very little… or likes can be monetized, just like the views on youtube, and I didn't know it? Did they break the keyboard in order to put those likes on our works? If it’s so, I'm sorry, but I certainly wasn't the one who pointed the gun at their head to follow my work. Always remember that paying attention to a work is always and only a reader’s choice. No creator has power over these phenomena, we just create and publish, the rest is always an unknown factor. So expressing yourself as a seduced and abandoned lover on an old and free work doesn’t make you a victim, it only makes you ridiculous. Anyway, I know the subject, who had already decided in the past to talk on DeviantArt before I blocked him, and I decided not to tell him anything in that moment, also because, what can you say to a person who clearly has problems that go beyond fandom? Sometimes ignoring is the kindest choice you can make.

Hammytotherescue instead claimed that he and I were friends in the past, before the duo formed by me and aoimotion became toxic. Since I had no memory of this person and I hate when someone alludes to relationships with me that don't exist, I wrote to him privately on Tumblr asking him if he could kindly refresh my memory about this "friendship" he was bragging about.

Q: How did it end?

A: The conversation, which I report below because I, unlike him, have nothing to be ashamed of, is as follows:

As you can see, Hammy never replied to my last message . But in reality the story was not over. A few days ago, in fact, I discover that the user in question "vented" in the post of reddit, not under my comment (so that I received notification of his reply) but in response to another comment that had been left to me. Showing, as always, the incredible maturity of these people.

After reading this comment, I decided to act by reporting the user on reddit, but the answer I received can be summarized as: "since you are a content creator, you deserve insults regardless." In short, a response as useful and smart as the people who gave it to me. So don’t worry Hammy, you won't be banned from reddit because the only braincell shared by you users agrees that defining a toxic and manipulative person is, to quote one of the wise moderators I talked to, "a fairly typical level of criticism". All is well that ends well.

Q: You mentioned "concepts to reiterate". What would they be?

A: Let's start by denying what ggctuk wrote in that reddit's post, given how much popularity his comments have gained.

My split from this fandom started because I simply lost interest in Nick and Judy and preferred to do something else, something of my own. Black Jack gave us the opportunity to invent many original characters and they was those I wanted to work on. We have never worked for ulterior motives other than having fun together. When we recognized that we no longer have anything to give to this universe, we declared it openly and closed this chapter of our "artistic life". This split could take place in a peaceful and calm way, I would have taken my own path and you yours, since it was obvious, since BJ times, that you had very little interest in our original contents. You also reiterated this between the lines of these last comments, so really, I make a terrible effort to understand your logic of contents belonging to your fandom. It's not your fault, don't worry. You have been spoiled by this entrenched habit of creating any anthropomorphic animal and attributing it to your precious and super-nutritive fandom. Once you labeled this attitude at heresy, now everything is fine as long as it helps you keeping this universe going, honestly, I just pity you. However it seems that your obsession with me prevents you from accepting the fact that my life would have continued even without this fandom and that I would have lived very well even without the amount of likes that fanarts could give me. Indeed my life would be even more beautiful if I didn't have to waste time like I am doing now.

Both me and aoimotion together gave you a lot, and in the end we simply got it back. Jack is a prime example: yes, he is a character born from the scratches of Zootopia's artwork, but thanks to our work he has evolved to the point of becoming a completely original character. This fandom has not been able to accept it and until the end has tried to claim him as its own, and even now it can’t accept that we have instead taken him back, and even less can you bear that we are successfully using him in our original works, which is why you insist so much on his "Disney" origin, as if this defines his identity, and for months you have made fun of us saying that we were claiming something that belongs to Disney as our own. Unfortunately, beyond a doodle and a hint of a hypothetical background, Disney has absolutely nothing. Whatever weight you have attributed to "Jack Savage" is only thanks to our work, Disney has nothing to do with your mania and it has nothing to do with everything we've built up over the years. Still, you took our job and stuck it over the "Disney" label, and that was even when Black Jack was long gone, so don’t use that excuse anymore. You even tried to attribute Cynthia to the Disney universe by calling her "Skye", since you are so desperate to keep your fantasies going, and when you had nothing more to say, you said that my art style was "clearly inspired by Disney". Did you think I could condone such an attitude? I suppose these statements derive above all from the certainly very poor culture that you have of the world outside the fandom (or fandoms), however there are artists who WORKED for Disney, who TEACHED drawing techniques at the Disney Academy and who work at own productions with that style, without anyone attributing anything to the major. If you don't believe me, try using the web for something constructive, like doing some in-depth research on the subject.

As for the matter of our alleged abuses on translators, I will only say two things: the translations started because of my naivety, and we prohibited them because the translators abused their role and went out of control, acting as if the comics belonged to them and / or as if there was a special relationship of complicity between me and them. I'm sorry I gave false hopes to these people, unfortunately I didn't have time to realize the misunderstandings that were being created and how our work was being used. There is a clear difference between the fan content and the original content, so now more than even, less our work passes into the hands of others, the better it is for us.

Now let’s analyzing the brilliant messages of Hammy, both on Tumblr and on reddit:

In both cases, what I see is a desperate need to cling to Rem's "pretty" facade while simultaneously demolishing the person behind Aoimotion. These insinuations suggest that the only possible Rem to conceive for your narrow minds is the kind and lovely one, and everything I say and do that does not fall within this definition is the work of aoimotion.

I will never go into detail about the dynamics between me and her, because frankly it’s not your business and I don’t want to give you further ground to cultivate your absurd speculations and your degenerated ideas. If you have decided to treat us as two two-dimensional characters of some fourth category fan fiction born from your fragile minds and then feel disappointed or offended by my attitude or a severe response I can give you, you cannot help but blame yourself and not who is my friend .

But you have to get it into your heads that when you talk about us in a personal way, you refer only on the basis of two web profiles. You don't know us personally and above all you don't know me. Being an extremely reserved person, I always decided to use social networks to share my artistic side or my interests related to entertainment, nothing more, nothing less. "Rem289" has always been only a blog, a showcase on the web, I’ve never attributed a real emotional and above all personal value to it, even before Zootopia. For the rest I prefer to live my personal life off the web. Unfortunately, you have been so careless as to decide to hit my personal sphere, my friendships and my affections. So no, Aoi didn’t take over between you and me, but the person behind Rem289 took over and you paid the consequences.

Still on the subject of aoimotion, it seems that the moment this comment was written on DA has remained particularly impressed: https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/765376682/4647911119

This great insult, which among other things is attributed to her as if I didn’t think the same (if not worse) about you, has become the new reason why aoimotion is ugly and bad and is the reason why she deserves to be insulted and disparaged at the slightest opportunity, even during a conversation with me in which she’s not involved in any way.

Now, since this term seems to me rather dated to be used as a matter of indignation during your debates, and since I still find it rather ”soft” to use to outline my intolerance towards you, in order to give you another thing to think over, I will give you an attribute which seems more correct to me: you are sick. Confronting you is like talking to someone who has been brainwashed. You are a broken record that always says the same things over and over again. I can't even feel sorry for you, what I feel is just a great sense of unease. (Of course there are people that still participate in this fandom and are perfectly normal, but those are exceptions and they already know we think good of them.)

And it’s precisely your illness that prompted me to dissociate myself so violently from the fandom. Not aoimotion, as you have been saying for months between an insult and another that you address to her because perhaps you are too afraid of me to address them directly to me, which is rather contradictory since I should be the sweet and pretty one of the duo. After all, it's better to treat me like a poor brainless fool who lets herself be manipulated rather than admit that I also have my own ideas and that, you don’t say, you don't like them.

Q: In any case, you have no right to deprive your fans of old content they love so much, you just want to be spiteful! Why did all your old WildeHopps comics disappear from the web?

A: The decision to delete the contents created by me relating to the fandom from my web platforms or those shared with my partner was not born in the least out of spite or "punishment" towards the members of the fandom. It was a decision made to dissociate my name and my current work from fandom, because unfortunately it created difficulties for my image and real difficulties for readers to understand (you can go on and say that if people think your work is still Zootopia-related is not a big deal, but I assure you it is). All that came after, are only and exclusively speculations built on purpose to find the most sinister reasons of why it happened. Publishing content is only an accessory part of the job itself, a percentage of the process. Deciding to publish, not publish or cancel a publication is at the pure expense of the author, and no consumer has the right to impose his will on the creator. I understand that they are perhaps too complex concepts for you, since it’s clear that you are used to measuring the value of things based on the likes they receive, but this current of thought also exists and I hope it will be useful to you someday, in the remote possibility that decide to take moments of deep reflection (which would be more and more useful than tapping your fingers on the keyboard).

(Little curiosity: in the last few weeks we have forwarded about twenty reports to various sites to remove our old contents posted there without our permission. Not only all twenty reports have been accepted, but the contents have all been removed in less than 12 hours from the date of reporting. This is to remind you that if we don’t want our content on the web, we have them removed and it’s the reposters who pay for it, not us.)

Q: Well, however you can't force us not to talk badly about you or aoimotion, in fact, you can't stop us from believing that she's been manipulating you for years. Almost certainly it’s she who is writing this post without your knowledge, isn't it?

A: The people of the web are notoriously lazy and are therefore often uninformed and constipated in developing their own concepts. They spit sentences without even knowing what they’re talking about, they choose "comfortable" truths, such as the fact of attributing to aoimotion every not nice word that comes from me, and when this phenomenon is reflected on real persons, unfortunately it’s quite difficult to manage.

We are attributed with labels, words, concepts, faults, relationships that don’t belong to us and that are difficult to get away from. A simple comment or a wrong statement towards a person can spread like wildfire and end up marking them for life. Needless to say, these conditions often prevent these same people from continuing with their activities, which instead are healthy, in a serene and peaceful way. Even now, instead of drawing, I’m writing this latest post to defend me and my partner from your sick slanders. Those who allow themselves the luxury of damaging the "active personalities" of the web are people who fully enjoy anonymity behind a screen, and often people who have the matter of regulating them (like the reddits moderators, who are a joke at best) limit themselves to considering certain behaviors "ordinary” in the creator / consumer relationship. The mere fact of normalizing certain behaviors doesn’t smooth out the rules of civilized life, makes these "authorities" complicit and therefore only adds a problem. It’s more than evident that some people are not yet able to distinguish the boundary that exists between objective opinion and direct and personal insult, but from people who lose sleep at night because they have been defined as “lunatic” I don’t expect anything less. Who knows what you will do now that I have called you sick.

I conclude with a message to the interested party:

@hammytotherescue​: I don't know how old you are, however, judging by what you write and how you write it and how you act, I deduce that you should not be more than 14-15 years old. Unfortunately I regret to tell you that the fact you are a minor doesn’t mean that you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions, and if you still have doubts about understanding where you have gone wrong I advise you to ask your parents for advice. I gave you the opportunity to confront me but you ran away to cry on a public platform. Hasn't anyone taught you that real life doesn't work like that? If, on the other hand, you are an adult, I sincerely feel sorry for you, I say this from the bottom of my heart.

I know how comfortable it is to hide behind a group or in this case a fandom to vent one's dislikes towards the individual. This time you and your friends have received the same treatment, you have not caught generic appellations addressed to the fandom but I decided to speak to you personally. My only advice is to use this experience to learn how it behaves on the web, and when you have learned it, you could teach it to all your friends, perhaps starting with @owningsuperset7​.

For @ggctuk: I hope you will appreciate my effort in writing this long post, as so the next time you talk about us again, you can use it as a reference to explain how things went 🤗

[ruthlessnessisyourdesire-archive]

rp guidelines.

Mun is Ash. She/Her. 21+. Ruthless Drama King keeps me prisoner. 

This blog is 21+ Nsfw/smut will not be written with those under 21 years old. I will not write with minors. 

I know there are a lot of rules here now but incidents, past stuff in rp scene kind of made it mandatory for myself to put down. Common sense lacks in some too so sorry it’s so long but ya know. Gotta do what we rpers gotta do. <3

tw: potential for triggering content & subject matter due to crime scene investigations/forensic profiling. strong language expected. he is simply a problematic aggressive character in most verses.

no godmodding. unspoken rule but please do not control my character under any circumstances. if you continue to break this rule however I may have to cancel our thread. only in extreme cases.

Don’t have personal triggers but I will not write my muse forcing themselves on any other muse.

any personal triggers you are uncomfortable with I will not write and vice versa.

multiverse/oc friendly. au friendly: discussion on AU’s are love. same char different mun friendly. duplicates are always welcome. personally I love OC’s and this boy cannot get enough interaction from them ever. just so you know. 

Do not screenshot my posts: ooc, threads etc. It is MY content. I should not have to add this but yes this has happened without my knowledge - at first. 

Unfollowing: If there is something you disagree with, do not favor about my writing, portrayal, muse(s) or views the button is always there. Please soft block to unfollow. I will do the same and quietly if it calls for it. 

PSA: Don’t call 60 Connor. He is not Connor. He is his own person. This sort of trumps the significance I have built for him as an individual entity in my characterization/ headcanons/ personal iteration in a fandom where he is overlooked. Also if you do refer to him as such verbally to his face you consent to the wrath and animosity he will bestow upon you be it verbal or potentially physical. Trust me 60 is not fond of being mistaken for his predecessor. (It’s a pet peeve and I’m sorry lol but they’re two separate people. I mean I write Connor too so bear with me.)

plots are love. let's discuss story, char relationships, just anything really. down for plotted, random prompts and memes. my dm’s are always open. if I don’t respond straight away I’m either not on at the moment or I’m just swamped in drafts. I still want you to drop in tho.

replies may take a bit. this is a hobby. if I take a while it doesn’t mean I don’t want to rp. sometimes I forget, tumblr eats my notifs or I haven’t thought up a decent reply as of yet. please be patient. I always offer the same to my rp partners. also I do get swamped in drafts and asks so this does contribute to my reply speed. TLDR: I am slow af but I want to write with you.

want to drop a thread? we all lose muse, get too busy, overwhelmed at times. it is perfectly OK. when I do thread purges I will always post an update and @ those I am keeping threads with. the number of follows I have it is just easier for me to do it this way.

shipping: will ship with chars but there are some I may turn down depending on personal preference. typically ships with another RK800/RK900 are a no. sibling, platonic, enemies is where I go. some exceptions may apply depending on verse type but his exclusive and only RK800 ship is with @rob0badge . 60 also would like platonic, friend and enemy ships to counter his romantic ships. any and all are appreciated. 

open to smut threads. 21+ very explicit at times depending on verse. 60 is ruthless. fair warning. also smut is not a requirement for romantic ships. if you’re not down for that then 60 is all about the respect of his partner’s wishes.

multiship friendly: winning rk800-60's affection is not easy in the long run. remember he is not easy to get along with. 

Shipping Additions: I WILL NOT ship cross unless it is plotted mutually between all parties. even then I will be selective about it. please respect this. multiverse is a thing and that is what my blog is. it will just be ignored. 

Content Trigger: 60 is very much ruthless despite his fall into deviancy. if you are uncomfortable with intense personalities this may not be the rp blog for you. certain themes will be highly thematic, problematic and even controversial at times. all of these will be tagged accordingly and put under read more for my followers/mutuals. he will be aggressive and hateful depending on circumstances. he is not very nice. however, the mun does not reflect this characterization and is extremely nice to followers. 60 may not share that affinity but the mun has no malicious intent. Only this ruthless boy does.

threads containing 18/21+ material always go under read more. please adhere to all warnings. some subject matter may be unsettling. remember any dark or triggering themes are NOT condoned by me irl. it just needs to be said.

Interactions: non-rp blogs, personals or those not part of current threads: DO NOT REBLOG. this is becoming a problem lately and I really don’t want to be that person but please follow this rule.If you continue to do so you will be BLOCKED. You can like my posts just fine however. In fact it’s welcome! I like to see others enjoying what I write for the ruthless king.

DBH VERSE REQUIRED: It just works better to be able to write adequately and since my muse is from this universe it’s a given. I rarely do crossovers as I feel some just do not work or fit my muse. If I do they are with main mutuals depending on fandom or personal preference.

Mutual Exclusive/RP Blogs Only: This blog is now private. If you follow me and I do the same back it means I want to interact. Otherwise assume I won’t be following back if I haven’t in a week. I have had some odd things come 60′s way and it is why this blog is locked down now.

Follows: If I follow back it means I want to interact with you. If you're a mutual and you still have not interacted with me after several weeks I WILL unfollow. This is nothing against anyone or meant to be unfair/mean spirited. The blog is an rp blog so of course I want to interact with you all. Also I do not just give free follows since this is not a personal blog. 

I would love to follow back depending but if I see no rules or somewhere that states 21 and above for the mun on your blog I won’t. I interact solely with those 21+. I myself am 28 years old. Respect this and don’t lie about your age to me. I have had people lie to me in the past and they’ve been dropped faster then you can shout “Deviant Spotted!”

I reserve the right to unfollow anyone for whatever reason including but not limited to rp politics. Ya gurl not here for rp snobbery or assumptions made. If I become uncomfortable I will soft block to unfollow quietly. I also practice block back. Meaning if I’m hardblocked (which is in anyone’s right who is uncomfortable with my content) I will hardblock back. It’s only fair and honestly it’s a lovely page taken out of one of my waifu’s books.

OOC: If you post a crap ton of ooc posts (I mean plz it’s your blog and your content is yours so go for it) I may unfollow if I cannot blacklist them properly. I mean things that aren’t rp related. This is only in extreme cases. My blog has overwhelmed me so the dash being flooded is something I want to clean up.

Replies: As I have stated in updates on this blog I am super busy and backed up. My reply speed is slower due to lots of drafts and asks. You can remind me but please don’t come at me or try to push me. Muse can be fickle. Some days I have it for a specific verse, others I have it for shorter convos or text threads. I aim to reply to everyone but keep in mind running this blog is not easy and I want it be fun for me. It’s a hobby.  When I have to worry and hide from people this is no longer that. If it continues I will drop the thread completely. Only in extreme cases. 

Pressuring: Do not come into my inbox on anon passive aggressively asking when I will reply to threads. If you honestly want to remind me like a normal person my dms are open to mutuals only. Do not guilt me into rping. If you pressure and attempt manipulating me you will be blocked. This has happened and I will not put up with it. 

Please reblog any memes/prompts from the source and not this blog. I am not an rp source or creator of these. If you continue to do this and just harvest my blog for memes without even interacting I will unfollow/block. If you reblog send me one then. If not well do not do it. non-mutuals do not reblog anything at all from this blog. Also I  have to mention some people have used me as a source WITHOUT reblogging from me. Meaning they see the meme and reblog it for themselves as a means of bypassing sending in anything. If we’re mutuals why are you doing this? It will just make me think you do not want to interact.

Asks: Do not reblog asks. Please if you wish to continue make a new post and link back to ask. It just makes my dash a little cleaner and I want to avoid extra asks in the inbox continuing it when we can turn them into convo threads. So please don’t keep sending asks to continue a plot line. Thread it.

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT HATE & ASSUMPTIONS: If I discover you sending hate on anon to anybody you’re gone. If you send hate to people about what they ship, especially to female muns/muses, you’re gone. I will not tolerate hate of any kind and if I see you talking negatively about any female muse I will soft block you quietly. I just do not want to interact with you. People who assume generalized posts are about them when I follow you will be softblocked as well. Honestly it’s a given that if I’m following it’s not directed at you. I will not put up with assumptions or continue to view it on my dash. Unfollow me, softblock me, etc. It’s not difficult. My comfort levels are important to me as well as yours should be.

I will not  interact with egoists. If I see anything that wigs me out I will just softblock quietly. Elitists go home. I don’t want you here. 

I will never rush or be pushy at my partners. I’m so chill about threads. please take your time. let’s never take the fun out of it. never think you’re taking too long or bothering me. DM’s are open to my mutuals only.

I do not do passwords or send messages of any kind. If I am following you rest assured that I have read your rules. I do this automatically when someone follows me and vice versa since I expect the same. If I’m liking update posts you can consider that me seeing it as well. 

unfollowing/refollowing: Don’t do it on my blog. If you follow and then unfollow but for some reason come back to follow you get blocked from my side. I don’t need the bs or the attention seeking.

Duplicates are amazing but I will be selective who I follow back and interact with. Nothing personal but I have been the victim of theft in the past. It’s an unfortunate thing but my characterization and headcanons for 60 are my own. I have been writing this boy forever even long before I made this blog. I’m highly protective of my ruthless king. He is my baby after all.

softblocks: I remove people by doing this. It could be for any reason to be honest. We never interact, you keep dropping our stuff, show no interest, I don’t see us interacting after all or any number of reasons to make my dash more comfortable. Do not ask me why I did it. That’s my comfort. No hard feelings. Just move on. I don’t have to cater to you. If you don’t like my methods use the unfollow button and leave my blog. Simple enough.

hardbocking/blacklisting: Yes I have done it. Am I going to blatantly broadcast it for all to see? Nope. I am not obligated to explain why I blocked you. Most times you have broken my rules despite me reminding to read them. Other times there are people I just do not want to see and that is my right not to see them. Same goes for you. Block me if you do not like what you see. I will not censor myself, my writing or who I interact with.

ostracizing people in the rpc: If you don’t like who I am interacting with use your blacklist function. NEVER tell me not to interact with them. If I find out you practice this exclusion tactic on others in the rpc I will purge you off my blog no questions or explanation needed. I totally get it. There are people I don’t like. No one is going to like everyone but do you see me telling others NOT to write with them? Hell no because I know for a fact they have done it to me and others love to listen without all sides to a story.

I also drop people who vague in public servers because it’s straight up childish behavior. I also will not follow or interact with anyone who guilt trips, suicide baits or lies with a pity party song and dance. When you’re found out to be lying or telling other people not to interact with somebody in this RPC I want nothing to do with you. Move on. That’s it. 

Drop a like if you made it this far. Whew! No passwords needed. Even if you don’t drop a like it won’t prevent me interacting it’s just nice to see. 

[zcldrizes-a]

𝟏𝟓𝟎𝟎+ 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫. okay, the first thing i’m going to ask is... are you all lost? do you feel okay? if you had asked me back in 2017 when i made my blog, i would have told you that this happening would have literally been something beyond...all comprehension to me. the day or so after i made my blog, i remember someone posting a 1500 follow forever, and i was like...that will never be me. i will never ever have that many followers. and honestly, that was fine with me because it’s never been about the numbers, it’s always been about the writers and the plots and the threads. but to check my blog days ago and see that i had hit this milestone? that threw me so much it’s not even funny.

as a thank you for this, i’ll be picking a handful of people who like or reblog this to message randomly with little thank you gifts. i’ve never been hugely incredible at editing ( as seen by the fact this gif is heavily edited from the original one here ), so i’ve always been pretty conservative with what i put out there for the general rpc - but this is just going to be a little thank you from me to anyone who has supported me for a single day even, on this blog, to show what it means to me to have that kind of support.

i can honestly say i have never felt so at home on a roleplaying account before, on here or any other platform, and this has become my home to me. i’m still excited to check in every single day to see what’s happening, and whenever i get a notification, and that speaks volumes to me. thank you for giving me a chance to share this incredible character’s story, and for trusting me to do her justice, and supporting me as i do. thank you, for loving me. ♡

⋰ ♡ 𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒅𝒖𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔, 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒚 :

@killthebxy​ : i was going to say none of these would be in any type of order, but that’s a lit, because this first one is without a doubt the most important to me. and i don’t say that because you are my jon, and i don’t say that because of all our many plots and verses, i say that because you, fil, are the very best friend i think i’ve ever made through any kind of place on here. you are the person who reminds me to breathe when i forget how, and the person who holds me together when i fall apart. you are the person who makes me laugh on the good days and the bad, and you know by know exactly what you mean to me. when i first started this blog, you were one of the first to follow me, and you’ve supported me ever since, and i cannot thank you enough for that. thank you for being a part of my life, and thank you for existing. i love you, to the moon and back.

@arcusignis : i think i said most of this the other day but i really cannot believe i went so long without having you in my life. i’ve let you down before as a friend, but please just know that losing you as a friend only made me realise how much harder i would fight to keep that from ever happening again. you, individually, are one of the most stunning people i have ever met, and there will never come a day where i forget to remind you of that. i love you, and i love your fiery smol, and i will never let you forget it again.

@tymptir / @archcr : oh god, this is going to be a big one for me. hannah, you were the first person ever to give me a chance on here. back on day #1 of my blog, when my graphics were atrocious and my icons were terrible, and my tags were a mess, and everything was a work in progress. somehow, you saw through all of it to give me a shot, and quickly became my favourite person to write with. even now, i know that no matter what we plot and write together, it’s going to be beautiful. more than that, i genuinely love that we can talk about anything, whether it be your psycho cat whom i literally plan to steal, or discussing the gym, literally anything, i love our daily chats and they make my day. thank you for being the first person to give me a chance, and thank you for being in my life. please never leave it, because i don’t think i’d know what to do.

@perzyr : you had to know you’d get a mention, didn’t you? literally for all of the late night headcanon chats, the endless jokes about my children vision and rhubarb, the fact you are the only person always ready to hear me ramble about dany’s dragons at any given time. you are one of the most creative people i’ve ever met - and the only person willing to throw such thought into not just one type of magical creature, but every type that no one has thought about developing, creatures from all verses and timelines and just. daisy, you are so stunningly imaginative, and i love that i get to share a bit of that creativity and incorporate it into my muse, because i couldn’t without you.

@aeksicn / @clippedwingsx / @bogxgirl : so as i type this, you’re currently asking why you’re awake, and i’m encouraging you to stay up, and if this doesn’t describe us, i don’t know what else will. let alone the fact you have a starter meme list of stupid things we’ve said. you have become one of the most stable presences in my life over the past few years, and i thank whatever god exists for bringing you into my life. thank you for following me here, for taking this journey on here with me, and for inspiring me every step of the way with everything you do. for always being ready to listen when i need it, and for being there even when i don’t know that i do. i’m so happy you’re here.

@beasteaten / @sinsburnt : admittedly, i can’t take the credit for you being here, but the same sentiment applies. we’ve now known each other longer than i’ve known anyone on here, i think, and i think sometimes it’s easy to forget just how long you’ve been in my life because i genuinely can’t remember a time where i didn’t know you. i’m so happy you’ve found a home in octavia, and that you bring such a life to her, and that you endure every single one of my got rants even though we both know i go into way too many of them. ride or die, til the end, and if i let myself say much more than that, i’ll be going on forever, let’s be honest. thank you for loving me, and thank you for always being there.

@wolfqueennamedstark & @lifesevered & @scldsouls : i’m going to group you all together here, because i have the same thing to say to both of you, and since stark sisters and all ( except ruth but shh you’re adopted anyway ), we’re doing it. you are all so special to me in a way that i can’t even explain, but please just know that i think you’re all beautiful. on the good days, on the bad days, on a rainy day or a day of sunshine, i think you’re all amazing and good and kind and people who i genuinely am so proud to say i have in my life as friends. i hope that never changes, because i can’t imagine being here without any of you now that i’ve found you.

@rebxrnbyfire : i’m not going to say everything here, because you know what i would say for the most part, but what i will say is this : in such a short time frame, you have become one of the most important people on here to me, and i will never stop being grateful for the fact you were brought into my life. not just on roleplay, but you, the person behind the scenes, who makes me smile and laugh and cry and never gives me a reason to doubt myself. i know we’ve had some shaky times in the past, and i’m so happy they’re all behind us now, because i cherish you beyond what words could ever say. i love you more than i can express, and i hope you know how special you are.

@naathborn : all i think when i think of you is that one gif you always seem to spam me with, to be honest, but isn’t that so descriptive of our friendship? you make me smile and laugh so much, beth, and in the same way missandei is so important to daenerys, and in the same way emilia and nathalie dance to beyonce, you are my absolute better half on here. i love you, and i don’t think there’s ever been a single interaction of ours that hasn’t left me in tears of laughter or smiling all over. you are a genuine ray of sunshine, and i really just love you more than words can express.

@alldaddy : okay, so, i do not tell you how much i love and appreciate you enough, but you were one of the first people i really started shipping with on here. and though tumblr doesn’t see it much, we know how much we’ve developed dany and odin, and how much life we’ve breathed into them, and they make me happy. and maybe that’s why i forget to say it sometimes - because it hasn’t even occurred to me that there could ever be a world where you don’t know how loved you are, because i love you so much, and dany loves odin so much, and i just really don’t want you to ever doubt it. you, behind the scenes, are so talented and beautiful, and i love you. i’m thankful to know you.

the filgate squad : aka @tolvys / @sapphireoath & @exilekniight & @thesellsword / @thedolorous & @aeliell : okay, you’re all grouped in together because we dragged each other into the pits of hell, and now we’re staying here. with the exception of vic, i haven’t really gotten to know any of you until recently, and i really love that this has now become my little family? like i can message any one of you and know it’ll have me crying of laughter. let alone that damn voice chat that descended into the depths of hell faster than season 8′s ratings plummeted after the finale, where you all heard me quite literally unable to breathe from laughing so much. more than that, on the bad days, i know i have my own little queensguard ready to fight, and please just know that in turn, i would fight and die for any single one of you. i love you all, more than words can ever express, and now that we’re all sitting in the inferno together, you’re all stuck with me.

⋰ ♡ 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 :

@killthebxy / @automaiiiled, @arcusignis / @ardholen, @tymptir / @archcr, @wolfqueennamedstark , @perzyr , @exilekniight , @beasteaten / @sinsburnt , @clippedwingsx / @aeksicn / @bogxgirl , @lifesevered , @rebxrnbyfire / @silentshadcw, @naathborn , @deltiitnu / @withanarmy / @wildfireyes, @ofimaginarybeings , @satincrow , @longmayshereignxcersei , @alldaddy , @estoires / @initiare , @ashccra / @tyrxshisword , @boltxnbastard , @eldingaesir , @wolfcrownd , @needlcd , @russetwolf , @breakercfchains , @valyrianflame , @scldsouls , @thedolorous / @thesellsword , @sapphireoath / @tolvys , @faunabones , @talltalkr

⋰ ♡ 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒅𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅, 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒇𝒂𝒓.

@fifthbornforrester &&, @crowncdcrow , @moreastark , @killtherxven , @ghostdirewolfe , @bolnav , @epheemere , @badinvcstmcnt , @rhaegxr , @reekcd , @dornishdrxgon , @qeldliie , @crownedclaw , @vaedar , @agirlingrey , @avestaproduction , @aeliell , @notintime , @fircandfury , @honnleathrose , @witandwine , @bloodablaze , @handofhonor , @theeldestsun , @murroyilodel , @timeripe , @wineinthewidow , @gulldrengur , @akingslayerx , @chevalier-de-la-fleurs , @sadisticatcd , @runegiven , @nctbitten , @chalceus , @revxurxharley , @musenssang , @dorzalti , @jernhjerte , @kaerinio , @reignfyre , @inbooks , @honorbound-dawn , @eversoblack , @ragsandrocks , @komtrkru , @crownedjust , @bythelotus , @cognoscente , @freydisi , @seasworth , @winterslcdy , @helenaiism , @pridefulroots , @ordinaryxgentleman , @ercgon , @allthosevoices , @bloodofdrxgons , @steel-winter-rose , @notenoughmuses , @nxrthborn , @wcmansweapcn , @ilvecchiio , @multimentium , @azhefa , @blodistridi , @weightofmyshield , @ofjordayne , @agirlofwinterfell  , @balerios , @serbriennecftarth , @drakrys , @winteruin , @hesquired , @regardsent , @dragetunge , @vaettiir , @brycecousland , @solemvictrix , @targreign , @impiae , @misplacedheroics , @rhaegail , @songgave , @sonofpendragon , @bearskeep , @alordnamedsnow , @viaminvenia , @effervescentsoulstm , @trnslatr , @bonebaker , @stoleforher , @ofwintcrfell , @lavendervcined , @soldativre , @thecomplication , @goldenwitted , @blckwiidcw , @zharvossi , @goldcncrown & i hope i didn’t forget anyone but honestly those i love should hopefully know who they are!