#//that entire story arc ripped my soul out

[moonlight-prose]

RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME

➛ 06. TIME CAN NEVER MEND

a/n: so before you dive into this i'm gonna warn you that it's not happy. we have reached the level of angst needed to start this story on it's final arc. the one that changes basically everything. i've put a lot of angst into this, because that's what it called for and well...if you've been here for awhile you know i love my angst. i'm sorry beforehand and can promise a happy ending. but these two have to suffer first.

summary: logan howlett is happy. he's content. by all definitions...he's found the reason for why he's still alive and it all leads down to you. yet time is a fickle and cruel being and she's decided his time for peace must come to an end.

word count: 7k+

pairing: logan howlett x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, angst, a heaping of angst so bitter you will yell at me, oral (f receiving), face riding, overstimulation, wade wilson, mutant powers, violence, tw: blood, tw: gore, trauma resurfacing, ptsd, insanity, tw: torture, cliffhanger, BE WARNED PLEASE DON'T SKIP OVER THESE.

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Silence filled his mind, darkness an endless expanse behind his shut eyes. He couldn't remember the last time the world fell quiet. Piercing through him with a serenity he fought his entire life to acquire. Nightmares were an expected routine that came to him constantly with a bitter echo of things he couldn't change; people he never saved.

He couldn't recall sleeping without them. Not since he was a sickly child in his father's house—fighting fevers that were caused by a mutation he didn't know existed.

Eventually the world would rip a part his bubble of safety—expose him to horrors he never thought imaginable. He'd struggle against it. Bite, snarl, fight his way through the pain like an animal who'd been caged for far too long. There would be no light at the end of his tunnel. No peace for the man plagued by promises he longed to break—a vow he didn't intend to make.

Only to be found by the one person he thought was lost to his world.

A love that lingered in the shadows of his heart. Bringing back the flame of a torch that blew out the night he lost everything.

He awoke to the warmth of your body tangled with his. His heart didn't race with the anticipation of a battle that didn't exist. His claws were safely stored away in the depths of his arms, and for the first time...his soul didn't scream in agony for help that would never arrive. You shifted with a puff of air, a grumble building in your throat at the morning chill. He watched in rapture—his fingers trailing down your spine.

The clock read eight in the morning. Plenty of time for you to sleep in given it was your last day off. So Logan remained still in order to not disturb your peace. He sucked in slow breaths as you pressed your cheek to his chest—arm wrapped around his waist and legs tangled with his. Each small shift of your face, the furrow of your brows and quickening of your heart, let him know you were trapped in a dream.

Good or bad he couldn't tell.

What did you dream about? What ran through your mind when sleep washed over your body?

He made a mental note to ask when your eyes finally cracked open. The spell of sleep lost, retreating to the depths of your mind till later. But for now he admired the shape of your face, the lilt in your eyes and curve of your lips. You were a painting come to life. An art piece stolen right off the walls of The Met.

How he managed to wind up here, waking up beside you, continued to baffle him the longer he thought about it.

Surely he committed too many atrocities to deserve this. Too many lives lost by his claws, too much pain wrought by his own actions. He shouldn't be allowed to lay here, holding you close with a reverence that he thought was lost to the tragedies of his past. He once counted the days until his death. Marked them off with a tally that seemed to only grow the longer he went.

Now he thanked whatever higher being existed for giving him this.

For gifting him you.

Another soft grunt left your parted lips, nose scrunching in distaste as you were roused from your sleep. He smiled at the sight of your eyes fluttering open, confusion flickering across your features for mere seconds before it all came rushing back. The time spent with Logan ravishing your body in this very bed, in the shower you shared. The sweetening ache between your thighs that practically called his name.

You sighed, glancing up at him with drowsy glazed eyes and a crooked smile. "Morning," you rasped, voice thick with sleep.

His heart twisted in his chest. A feeling he could only describe as love began to filter through his veins like an IV. Filling him with the fear that usually came with that four letter word—the terror of possibly losing this. He swallowed it down painfully, his hand moving to press at the base of your spine to pull you closer.

"Sleep well?" he rumbled, dipping down to catch your lips in a kiss.

The shower last night left your skin warm to the touch. Logan found he couldn't get enough of it. He curled himself around you, drawing your leg up to hook around his waist as a way to keep your skin against his. You hummed in appreciation, pushing your face up to meet his movements in kind.

Sunlight spilled into the bedroom with a familiar warmth. The window was shut and locked after yesterday's phone call. Yet the muffled echo of the world managed to slip through the cracks in the wood, echoing in your small bubble of serenity he longed to stay in. This felt like a hazy dream. One that clung to the edges of his mind, dripping small slivers of joy into his heart.

Logan longed to remain here. Buried in the bed with you wrapped tightly around him.

Eventually you parted with a soft gasp, your hips shifting subtly to relieve the ache that began to bloom and unfurl in your body. Even though you had more than your fill of him yesterday, you remained insatiable.

He couldn't say he was any better—his cock already twitching in interest. If he had his way neither of you would find the need to leave this bed; far more interested in how many more orgasms he could wring from your still spent body.

"I like this," you murmured against his cheek, fingers delving into his messy hair. "Waking up with you."

"Me too honey." He grinned when you kissed his chin, thumb running along the edge of his jaw.

A soft breath washed along his skin, sending chills down his spine. "How did you sleep?"

"No nightmares."

He felt you smile. "Are you lying to me Howlett?"

Fuck if you weren't the last thing he wanted to see at night and the first thing he was welcomed to in the morning. Something sharp pricked his chest, bleeding him of the doubt that might still remain. Lingering beneath the surface of too many broken promises and shattered versions of I love you.

This happened before. A love so deep he felt it solidify into his very mutant DNA. Back then he thought it would one day come to an end; finalize when he fucked up too many times for you to forgive.

Now he knew there was no end to this road that wound up with him alone. No version of the story where he sat at a bar somewhere in the back roads of nowhere, lamenting about a woman he once wanted to spend forever with. Whether he stayed young and you grew too old; there wouldn’t be a final page without him in your life.

What transpired here would knot the strands of fate together. So if one was sliced for the final vow of death. They both went together.

"I'm not lying," he confessed. "I didn't really dream of anythin' this time around."

You hummed, eyes opening to see the contented shine in his hazel eyes. "Don't tell me. It was because of me."

"I think it might be bub." His teeth nipped at your bottom lip, hand curving to cup your ass. "Guess you're my cure. Been lookin' for awhile."

"My bad Mr. Howlett," you breathed through a soft laugh that clenched around his chest. "I didn't mean to take so long, but you were kind of in a different universe."

"Technicalities."

"Yeah right! Technicalities my ass."

He dragged you across his lap with a muffled groan he pressed to your chest. "Could’ve found me all on your own honey. You just weren't looking properly."

The high gasp that filled the air left him with a gratification worse than his satiated hunger. He longed to devour you with a need that felt primal. As if the animalistic side of his body craved the taste of you spread along his tongue. You were the answer to every fuckin' prayer he sent out. The embodiment of what his heart had been missing.

"You're right." Your words were shaky, eyes growing dark with lust when you felt his cock press against your slick folds. "I'll do better next time."

He growled, low and desperate; his hands now clamping down on your hips until pain flickered beneath the surface of your already tender skin. "There'll be no fuckin' next time."

"No?" The grin on your lips made him leak against your thigh. "I'm sure there's more than one James Howlett in the infinite number of universes. And who knows, you might not be enough to satisfy my insatiable needs."

Rolling to his back, he took you with him, even as you yelped in an attempt to pull away. You were trapped against his body with no chance of escape, yet running from him was never a choice. This was your safe place. Against his body that offered warmth and solace—a promise of more wrapped in a gentle touch and heated kiss.

He tugged you up his body, smacking your ass as you climbed to sit on his chest with a breathless smile. The sight alone made Logan's heart stutter. His eyes wide with awe—a semblance of adoration that existed solely for you.

"Insatiable huh," he mumbled against your thigh. "Alright honey. C'mere then."

"For what?"

His thumbs indented the skin of your hip, a smile curving over his lips. "I haven't had my breakfast yet."

The realization dawned on you slowly. Your eyes widened, scent growing heavy in the air, and Logan longed to stay here for the rest of his life. Beneath the weight of your body on his—the comfort of your hands cupping his face. Your slick pooled on his chest; a sign that you were in fact interested.

"A-Are you sure?" you breathed.

His teeth sunk into your wrist gently, causing you to jolt. "Fair's fair baby."

Your own words caused heat to spill beneath your skin; you shifted—eyes wanton for what was about to come. "Touché."

Shifting up higher with a hesitancy that turned his mind feral, you situated yourself close to his mouth—barely hovering over his face. With a growl, he looped his arms around your thighs and yanked you down. His mouth sealing over your dripping cunt with a moan of satisfaction. The cry that fell from your lips made his cock twitch against his stomach; the heady tang of you exactly what he longed for.

He was messy with it. Devouring you with abandon, tongue slipping through your folds with little grunts that sent sparks down your spine. When he sucked your clit into his mouth you were done for.

"Oh fuck Logan-" The breath caught in your throat, head tipping back with each swipe of his tongue along the pulsating nerve.

Without realizing it, your hips began to drag along his mouth, chasing the quick building release that threatened to drag you under. He growled—fingers a bruising grip on your skin—with each swivel of your hips. High pitched moans echoed in the room loud enough to resonate through the whole of your apartment.

"Please-" Logan watched—eyes drooped and a red flush across his cheeks—as your body curved towards him, your hand gripping the top of your headboard. "'M gonna. Fuck, fuck, fuck-"

His tongue plunged into you, thumb snaking around to rub harshly against your clit. The long drawn out moan he mumbled into your cunt is what finally broke you. Ripping the release from the base of your spine as you cried out—your hips nearly suffocating him with how you pressed down on his tongue.

Aching for whatever he had left to give you.

Logan drank you down with stunted moan, his cock leaking into the trail of hair on his stomach. But he couldn't fucking care about that. Not when you were gifting him with a nectar that would put the gods ichor to shame.

"Oh...baby," you murmured, eyes staring at the way his cock jumped each time his tongue slid against you.

Before he could turn you away—explain that he was okay and push it off as a natural reaction to you—your hand was wrapping around him. The wet slide of his precum now enough to fuck into your fist with ease. He'd allow you to touch him for a few minutes before deterring you the kitchen. Give you a fill of what need still remained.

He was perfectly okay with finishing himself off.

What he didn't expect was your thumb to settle between his balls, rubbing at a spot that made him see white. A broken feral sound echoed against your inner thigh—his teeth clamping into the skin—as he came across your hand. Spilling down onto his stomach and hitting his chest with a withered shout.

You rolled off him, panting and covered in a sheen of sweat. Logan could barely feel his fucking legs.

"The fuck was that?" he rasped, eyes cracking open to blearily see your prideful smile—teeth digging into your bottom lip while you eyed the mess on his torso.

"How'd it feel?"

"Like my fuckin' body isn't workin'."

You giggled, soft and sweet. A stark contrast to the way you made him cum fast enough to put a hole in his heart. He'd never gotten off so quickly. Yet there you sat, leaning against your pillows, and staring at him as if he'd hung all the stars in your night sky.

He very well would have if you asked.

"I can cook this morning," you offered, snuggling back against his side with a contented sigh.

"Just give me a minute honey and I'll get us food."

"You don't have to cook."

He silenced you with a kiss, your body melting into the mattress at the taste of you on his tongue. "Rosemary's. They still sell breakfast?" When you nodded he planted a kiss on your forehead. "Alright. Soon as the feeling in my legs returns I'll get us some food."

"Okay," you laughed with a kiss to his shoulder. "I like the sound of that."

The television blared loud enough to bounce off the neighbors walls. A loud and rather obnoxious theme song for a reality show. A steady stream of muttered cuss words overlapped the music as another piece of wood clattered to the floor. The screws with it scattered on the shitty coffee table found in the back alley of the building.

"Ugh. Don't hand over the rose!" Wade shouted, throwing a handful of popcorn at the screen. "Clearly they don't belong together. For fucks sake. I swear the bachelorette always settles."

Althea sighed, fingers sliding along the wood in search of a single screw that might be near. "I thought you said you wanted to help me with this."

"I am!" he mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn. "Moral support. You're doing great, just a little more to the left. Almooooost got it-"

She grumbled snatching up the silver piece, locating the wood by her feet. "Next time I'm evicting your ass so you can find someone else to annoy."

"Hurtful. Who else would provide you quality entertainment better than moi?"

"A rock."

"Wrong." He shoveled another handful in his mouth. "I've worked with the man. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is not as funny as he might appear. And starring in Fast Five doesn't count." His eyes flicker to the side, smile forming around his swollen cheeks. "To be honest I couldn't tell who was who between three bald men. Clearly that franchise has a type."

"Clearly I need a better system."

"Well of course you do. The shelf is upside down. No, the other way. No. The other way-"

A blinding flash of blue light burned through the living room, searing a hole in the hardwood floor. Wade clambered to his feet, gripping the ceramic bowl with white knuckles. His heart hammered in his chest, mouth dry as he scanned the room for some form of defense.

The closest weapon remained his katanas, propped against the door frame leading to his bedroom. He glanced at them—calculating whether to leap now or wait.

A whip ignited in blue sparks flew from the gaping hole in the air, striking his body and forcing him into the air. He hit the wall with a grunt; the bowl now severed in two on the floor.

"What the fuck!" he groaned, stumbling to his feet. "Al! You okay?"

"Who did you piss off this time?" Althea called, gripping her cane as he staggered towards her, leading her to the bedroom.

"Some fucking Asgardian apparently." A quick glance back revealed someone stepping through—their body encased in ripples of sapphire. "God where's Thor when you need him?"

The bedroom door slammed shut, Althea locking herself in as Wade yanked the katanas from their sheaths. He half expected to see the face of a pissed god coming to enact revenge. He felt his body tense as he prepared for a fight. Only for a hood of blue and gold to be pulled back; your face staring directly at him with milky eyes of white.

"You're not Asgardian."

A sneer crossed other you's face as the whip snapped against the floor, rippling in the space around him. He felt it tug along his body, aging his face with spots that wouldn't show up for decades to come. They healed as you pulled the weapong back; the blue wrapping its way up your arm.

"Where is he?" Your voice bled with a bitterness that punched his stomach. An anger he once felt before.

Whoever stood before him now was not the sweet angel he knew. The scarred skin along your body explained enough of what he needed to know. This was a sign of who you once belonged to. Who the humans hunted. The embodiment of time had become their prey, their plaything. You were the lamb given up for slaughter; the lover scorned and tossed to the side by a man who ran to a different universe.

"Mind giving me a name?" Wade knew who you were asking for. But he also knew Logan lay across the street wrapped in the arms of a you who couldn't protect him.

Your eyes narrowed, the flicker of blue flashing in what used to be the iris of your pupil. "I believe you know him as Wolverine. However...I knew him as Logan."

"Right." He gripped the handle of his swords with cold palms—his eyes flicking to the side where his window was pulled wide open. "Have you tried the yellow pages?"

A scream tore from your throat as you charged—whip sliding across the floor to wrap around Wade's legs. He rolled to the side, katana cracking through the floor to steady his movements. He cursed under his breath at the sight of the burn marks that now spread all the way up to his ceiling—the flicker of your whip lifting in air again.

"Listen you Wonder Woman wannabe. I'm sure we can talk this out rather than fucking me in the ass with the deposit of my apartment!"

Your lips curled into a grin—teeth flashing white. Wade could practically feel them dig into his jugular; all too prepared to rip it from his neck if given the chance. This wasn't a battle to see who could make it out alive. This was a warriors death.

This was you being merciful.

"We had a Deadpool like you on my Earth." He tried to dodge the slice of your whip, but felt it clamp down on his arms, yanking them forward as your hand cupped his chin—nails plunging into his cheeks until blood sprouted to the surface. "Annoying. Less than average IQ. I had such fun sending him to the Void."

The dull throb of pain bit at his face the harder you clutched him. Eyes still a flash of sapphire on an otherwise empty pale eyeball. In the picture Logan showed him, this wasn't how you looked.

The scar that ran from your forehead to chin seemed new—barely healed over. You were nothing like how Logan described you. No light in your smile, no hint of hope or joy.

Whatever happened left you buried so deep in grief and pain there was no chance of digging you out.

"On behalf of my people...fair. We aren't intelligent collectively as a group. Individually we're probably...not better. But as Deadpool Prime-"

"Fuck you're even more annoying than your variants," you growled.

The whip looped around his body, growing with heat as blue flickered in his vision—pulling tight each time you wrapped it around your wrist. His wince of pain brought the malevolent smile back to your lips. Your milky white eyes flashing as you watched him intently. Waiting for a sliver of anguish to cross his scarred face.

Instead his body twitched, a groan ripping from his throat. "Is this the lasso of truth?"

You sneered. "It's a slice of time."

"Because yes, I did steal Captain American themed condoms from the gift shop at the Smithsonian. I thought they would make me fuck like Steve Rogers. But instead they just gave me a rash-" His words devolved into a piercing scream—the once bright hue of his eyes now fading the more his body aged.

The katanas clattered to the floor as you drew him closer, wrapping the whip around his arms tight enough to slice off his blood flow. He struggled—face red and teeth bared—to rip himself free. To stop the aging of his body before it was too late.

He'd endured pain before. The travesty of each wound his body would heal over still burned bright in his mind. But this felt as if he was being crushed under the weight of the universe. The strangled scream you pulled from his chest left him sagging against the hold your whip had on his limbs. Eyes bleary with tears as you stepped back and pulled.

Limbs tore from his body, blood pooling on the floor, as his arms were flung across the room. Blue fizzled in his vision, body struggling to stand upright. And you turned with a flourish—the flutter of energy pouring out into the room around you.

"I'm not going to ask again Wade Wilson."

He weakly laughed. "Look Doc Brown I can't help you with your revenge plan."

The tilt of your head shouldn't have looked so innocent. But all he could see—all that ran through his mind—was a version of you that remained loving. Hopeful. The variant who gave Logan a reason to live. Wade wasn't about to let that slip through either of their fingers; you were too vital to give up.

Even if it meant he might never heal from the one wound that threatened to shove him directly into Death's hands.

Time.

It remained his greatest enemy. Yet there he stood, facing it with a smile.

"Pity." You snapped the whip on the floor, advancing on his broken form with a grin. "Send my regards to your fallen variants."

"If I find a way to come back from this. Expect me to fuck your ass up." He sighed, shutting his eyes. "That sounded wrong. Do I get a do-over on last words?"

He stiffened, waiting for the blow that would be delivered without mercy. But you stopped. Froze in place as you looked out the window—body stiff and breath caught in your chest at the sight. Wade's heart dropped when he turned, staring directly at the you he knew. The lovely angel who stood near the window wearing Logan's flannel, a mug of steaming coffee in your hand and a smile on her face.

"Fuck," he spit, moving to step in and block your view.

No words were spoken, but Wade could feel the anger fall from your body in waves. A rage that made him sick to his stomach. Not only did you arrive in search of your lost lover. But a mirror image of a healthier—a happier—version of yourself stood in an apartment across the street.

"Wait. She didn't do anything wrong. She doesn't know anything-"

Your hand flew up, a flash of azure blinded him—filling the room—and Wade felt time stop. He could hear the silence, the step of your feet, yet couldn't move his body as you lifted off the floor. Floating towards the window, you felt the particles of time slip through your fingers. Forming a bubble around your form as you broke the wall of the apartment with a slice of your whip.

The agony wasn't unknown to you as time froze; the people of New York stuck in their spots while you remained in the realm you knew well. Yet this pain—this never ending grief—formed like a pit in your stomach, growing the longer you stared at the person who stole your life. The false version that wore your face, loved the man you once claimed as your own.

You were plunged back into the frozen depths of that night. When your family was torn from your life and Logan left you in shambles.

The window shattered, glass stuck in place until you pushed past it, your feet setting down on the floor of an apartment that smelled eerily like cigar smoke. Logan's flannel hung off your variant's body with such ease. Memories of mornings spent like this, indulging in coffee he made as he went off to teach, left a bitter taste on the back of your tongue.

How dare he discard you to the side.

How dare he love you in another universe when you still lived.

How dare he replace you with a new version, not yet broken by his mistakes.

The tears flowed down your cheeks, hot and unforgiving. Yet you could do nothing but watch as the smile on your variant's face burned bright in the room. He made this version of you happy. Yet couldn't be bothered to remember the mutant you. The one who longed for his touch, for his love.

For his forgiveness.

"He loves you," you murmured, gently touching your variant's cheek. "He loved me once."

Time flickered, a mere second being allowed to pass. But that remained enough. Your variant's eyes flicked up, shock forming in the iris at the sight of a battered and destroyed mirror image stand before you. If the iris of your eyes could be shown, the sorrow would bring the both of you to your knees. The anger that dripped into your heart with a vengeance.

Death didn't seem a kind enough gesture for the version of you that got to live her happily ever after.

You wanted Logan to keep her. To try and save her from the depths of your soon to be shared darkness.

The mark on your neck burned as you stared at the spotless skin. Free from the horrors. Free from a past you'd never endure.

You were perfect.

It made bile crawl up the back of your throat. The fear in your variant's eyes filled your stomach with a satisfaction that you clung to. The first glimpse of dopamine after years of fighting the darkness in your own mind.

Your nails scratched along the skin of your variant's cheeks. Digging into the flesh with a smile.

"Don't worry," you murmured, allowing the shackles you held on time to fall away. The gasp ripped from your variant's mouth as you gripped her. It swirled with joy in your heart. "We'll both make him regret his choice."

The apartment greeted him with a sickening echo of silence. He dropped your key into the bowl by your door, the bag of food still clutched tightly in his hand, as he allowed his claws to slide free on the other. His breath stuck to his chest, the hair on the back of his neck rose with each step he took. Something was wrong. Yet for the life of him...he couldn't find an explanation.

Your scent was stale. An hour old.

Where he expected to find the sweet echo of your heartbeat somewhere in the apartment; he was met with the chilling realization that you weren't here.

"Honey," he called, his voice lower than intended. "You here baby?"

Logan's heart ached when he was met with a response of nothing. Merely air that didn't carry the sound of your voice, nor the scent he'd grown accustomed to. What was he supposed to do when the emptiness was all the world offered? When the echo of his nightmares suddenly bled into reality.

He set the food on your kitchen table, yanking his phone out of his jacket pocket he slammed his finger on your number. The only one programmed into the damn thing. The incessant ring suddenly never sounded so threatening. So malevolent as he waited with baited breath for your voice to filter through the other line. Loud and clear without a single thing to fear.

When the shrill buzz of your own phone came from the bedroom, Logan felt the familiar cold drip of fear begin to slip down his spine. He struggled to maintain his breathing as he walked towards the room. His claws out—ready to attack at whatever came near him.

The empty bedroom—sheets in a laundry basket and comforter a tangle on the bed from this morning—felt like an icy pick in his chest. You weren't here. And Logan knew there had to be a logical explanation as to why this was.

You left for a reason.

You wouldn't simply offer up silence on a silver platter and expect him to take it with a smile.

You weren't that type of person.

Yet no matter how long he wracked his brain, he couldn't come up with a valid reason as to where you might be. Expecting to see you through the window at Wade's place, Logan rushed to the frame. Only to feel the crunch of glass beneath his feet—the panes shattered and crushed on the floor. Your favorite coffee mug severed in pieces beside it.

"No," he breathed, eyes wide and hand plagued with a tremor of fear as he knelt to grip the porcelain shards.

The terror he fought against for so long slammed into his body with a roar. It forced him to look. To see the truth that he could no longer deny. You didn't leave. You weren't gone of your own volition.

You...weren't safe.

"Fuck," he spit, shutting his eyes as the sting of tears began to prick behind his eyelids. "No. No. No."

"How touching."

The sound of your voice made him whip around, eyes wide and heart racing as he prepared himself to apologize for whatever made you leave. But the face that came into his sight wasn't the you of this universe. Pain sliced his gut as the version of you he couldn't save—the woman he would once die for—smiled at him.

"Fortuna," he said in a breath, eyes trailing down your figure encased in ripples of blue. Your eyes were white—devoid of any emotion. Yet he could feel your bitterness; the hatred that still existed from that night.

Your lips formed a pout, boots echoing against the hardwood floor like bullets firing from a gun. "What? No more honey?"

He flinched when your hand came up to cup his cheek. "What are you-"

"Doing here?" You smiled, blue flashing in the iris of your eyes. Logan felt his body sway with grief—the emotions he swallowed for years now hitting him with a force he never thought possible. "Why...I'm here for you baby."

"Fortuna-"

"Don't call me that." You gripped his chin, dragging him down to face you. "That name never used to leave your lips before. Why now?"

"Where is she?" he bit out, claws begging to take a slice out of your body.

Your voice was filled with mirth. Logan had never heard you this way.

So...deranged. Unhinged.

Whatever happened after you left had pushed you past the edge of what sanity still remained. The brink you toed even when you were together. He could see it in the scars that littered your arms, the long mark along your face. You weren't the woman he once loved. You weren't even the same fucking person.

His eyes trailed further, down to the collar of your suit, until he latched onto the scar that nearly had him staggering away to vomit. Burned onto your skin was a mark to represent who you'd been at one point. Who you would forever remain. The X, a stitched over wound that didn't have the proper time to heal.

The humans broke you. They destroyed the woman he once knew.

Logan felt anger burn in his heart at the realization.

"You mean my replacement?" you spit, shoving him away. "And here I thought you were still nursing your wounds in some fucking bar Logan." The whip twined around your waist sparked to life. "Forgive me for believing you cared."

"You're insane." He stumbled back at the first lick of your power stretching to touch him. "Charles warned you about what your powers would evolve into. He begged you not to go down this path."

Laughter pierced his eardrums—the fury biting at his heart as you cupped his cheeks and shoved your face into his. "Do you know who else begged Logan? Jean. Storm, Scott, Rogue, Bobby-"

He ripped himself away. "Shut the fuck up!"

"They screamed for you Logan!" Time began to slow, slip through his body and tear at the flesh that never aged. "They begged me to help them, to stop their attackers. And what could I do? When I was stuck in the future! But you. You could have saved them. You fucking worthless bastard!"

Blue filled his vision, his body sagging against your hold, as you ripped at his mutant gene with a ferocity that left him beyond saving. This was your last play. The final card you never intended to show him.

"Please-" he gasped, refusing to fight back.

How could he? When his heart still called your name, no matter the universe.

You were his. The person who held every piece of his heart to kill on a whim if you so wished it. The woman who he'd die beside.

He just never thought it would be your mutant variant. He never expected you would be the one to deliver that final blow.

Air filled his lungs when you pulled away. His body healing instantly—the spots of age now fading along his paled skin. Whatever you had planned, it wasn't going to start with his death. Logan knew you better than you knew yourself; a fact you seemed to have forgotten.

You may have been kind—loving once. But final grand shows of vengeance were your ploy. No matter the situation...you wouldn't give away the ending even if he begged.

He fell to his knees, gasping for breath. "Where is she? I-I'll...do anything-"

"You love her," you murmured, regarding him with an expression of pity.

"Yes."

"What a shame."

His head rose, eyes wide as time began to slow. "Fortuna-"

"I'll give her your regards Logan." Your lips pressed to his cheek, breath a familiar warm caress against his skin. He felt his heart shatter.

"Fortuna!"

Staggering to his feet—his heart trapped in his throat—he felt time stop. And any hope he held in his heart...ceased to exist.

The crack of wood jolted you from the darkness you were trapped in. Fear trailed up your spine, wrapping around your heart tight enough to blister in searing pain. Your wrists and ankles were bound, body attached to a chair, and you blinked through the haze to see an empty abandoned room. The cold air stung the bare skin of your thighs as you sat there encased in only Logan's flannel—your skin raw from the rope.

Broken furniture was scattered through the room. A couch stripped of its fabric, walls with torn wallpaper, and you leaning against the wall your head cocked with intrigue.

"W-Who are you?" you stumbled over your words, shivering from the cold.

The echo of boots made the hair rise on the back of your neck, your eyes going wide at the sight of blue spilling off this person's frame. There was no need for her to answer. No response to give, because you knew who stood before you. She wore your face. Spoke in your voice and emanated a power you'd only seen once before.

"Logan once called me honey once," she murmured, milky eyes flashing blue. "He calls you that doesn't he?"

You nodded, shuddering as she dropped to squat in front of you, hands braced on the arms of the air. She didn't regard you with anger like before. Though it still lingered beneath the surface, she watched you as if you were someone to learn from. Someone to figure out.

"Why am I here?" you whispered, voice hoarse.

"Pathetic he would choose to love your kind. After what they did.” Fear struck your chest at the malice in her words, the wrath that now faced you head on. “You can call me Fortuna," she murmured, finger stroking down the side of your face. The place where no scar rested—no mark of torture that echoed from a past she couldn't escape.

"Please." The sting of hot tears burned your eyes. "I don't know what I did-"

A bark of laughter ripped from her throat. "Oh sweetie. You didn't do anything." She stood, loosening the whip from her body. "You're merely collateral damage. No need to take it so personal."

"Collateral-" You gasped as the whip flicked forward, wrapping around your waist. "Wait! Y-You're the woman Logan loved. He told me about you."

The smile that curved her lips forced nausea to the surface of your stomach. "Yes I suppose he would. So guilt ridden by what he couldn't do."

"It's not his fault."

Another laugh had tears slipping down your cheeks. "Did he tell you that?"

"He didn't have to. The humans were the ones to kill your family. Not him."

The whip tightened around your body, pain slicing at your skin. "Oh I'm very well aware of what the humans are capable of."

Scars littered her skin, some larger than others, and suddenly you understood what happened. What she meant by it all. Logan couldn't save her. He wasn't able to keep her from the human's harm. Because he decided to wallow in his own grief than share in hers.

Fortuna had become Logan's worst nightmare. His walking shame that continued to haunt him even in this universe. No wonder he felt so afraid of what might happen the longer he remained with you.

"Do you know this place?" She glanced at the room—the staircase that was tucked away in the corner that led to a second story. "An old farmhouse near the mansion. Abandoned here, but not where I'm from."

"It's..."

"Ours."

Your heart dropped, tears spilling over faster than you could stop them. "Oh..."

"He didn't mention that part did he human?" She stepped closer, leaning over your cowering form with a smile that you felt tear at your heart. "We were going to live here together. You see...I have the one thing you will never be able to give him." Her hand cupped your cheek, wiping at the tears with rough strokes. "I will never die."

You shook your head. "He doesn't-"

"Care?" She clicked her tongue, disappointment flooding her features. "He'll say that now human. But what happens when you're sixty? Seventy? What happens when you outlive the Wolverine? What will he do then?"

"The Logan I know wouldn't leave me because of time."

"I am time," she snapped, gripping your chin. "I have lived as long as he has. I will continue to live even longer. Time means nothing when you are the physical embodiment of it."

"No-"

Wrapping the whip around her clenched fist, she pulled until the power began to split through your nerves. A sob broke past your cracked lips, pain burning through your body, lighting you with a fire only she could put out. She watched with a smile, her power flickering to life as the years began to seep from your body.

Second by second.

Minute by minute.

She stole what little time you could have held with Logan. What might have existed now began to bleed into the air as her whip cut into your skin. The crimson stain of blood seeped into Logan's brown flannel shirt, staining the fabric permanently. A scream tore from your throat—eyes squeezing shut as you tried to block out the sensation that intended to ingrain itself in your mind.

"You are nothing but a replacement." She yanked another inch of the whip closer to her chest—blood pooling beneath the chair and seeping into the wood.

"PLEASE!" you screamed, body wracked with tremors that weren't there before. White began to seep into your hair, streaking down to the base in a long strip—staining you with an age you might never reach. "Please! I-I'll do anything."

She tutted under her breath, her face now at your eye level. "That's where you're wrong. You can't do anything that hasn't already been done honey."

Tears blurred your vision. "W-What?"

"He wouldn't save me." Silence echoed in the still air of the room. The pain slowed to a dull ache as you slumped forward. "So I'm going to make sure he can't save you."

"N-No-"

"Like I said...collateral damage."

Your scream pierced the air like a knife, shattering what peace might have remained, as time began to form around Fortuna. Permanently altering the future that once shone with a light by plunging it into a darkness with no escape. And you were trapped in the center. Unable to claw your way free, to break from the one thing no one could run from.

A hell of time’s own making.

note: i am sorry. we will have a happy ending. just not yet.

[sillygoblinantics]

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

I’ve held my tongue for too long about my feelings on madhouse but fucking hell!

Unless by some fucking act of arceus or universe hands me the fucking concept art that went into this horrible webcomic- I got room to rip and tear!

This is:

Goblin’s Valid Autopsy of Lily Orchard’s PokéMadhouse

Before we go forward!

Hi. I’m Gobbo or Bri (pick ya poison), I’m a current student at Savannah College of Art and Design (as for campus I ain’t saying nothing) Im working on my bachelors in Animation and minoring in Creative Writing. My Concentration starting as 2d animation later switching it to Story and Concept in animation (back in 2021). I started in 2019 and it’s… 2024 now. Don’t judge me! I’ve been mentored by comic artist, storyboarders and many more in the industry! I’ve taken storyboarding and a plethora of writing classes to have enough qualifications under my belt to properly discuss the shit writing, lacking worldbuilding, disorganized plot hole ridden lore/arcs and horrible inconsistent art. So let’s not waste another moment and dive fucking in!

Story:

I’m not using Lily’s self review tvtropes to cover this. It’s disingenuous ego stroking at full blast.

We follow the highs and lows that are the “will they won’t they” relationship between the stated as sisters, Lily and her Gardevoir, G (yes that’s her fucking name). In a Sunday newspaper comic page esc structure. With bits and pieces of trivia and lore that rarely comes up if not to push and pull sympathy points for lilys self insert as she gets assaulted and violated in physical and mental ways. An arc being called “Violate” and later following the would be time span for gestation of a baby that would then become the labeled cryptid child.

I’m gonna be real there’s no point in reading it because the moment something big happens out of the blue there wasn’t a page missing to explain it which god fucking dammit Lily do I need to give you one of those brainframe sheets or outline templates if you decide to write a story? Because I’ll gladly provide them!

How do you consider yourself a fucking writer at all with your fundamental lack of care for lore and story like- for fucks sake woman it won’t kill you!

Characters

Lily

G

Mikayla

Marah

Bonnie

Mismagius

Other hardly seen or used Pokémon that get thrown away out of nowhere

Countless stolen ocs

And Dr Ponytail (yes that’s the fucking name of one of the “antagonists” and I’ve reread it so many times and found nothing!)

Lily has her “antagonists” being either ex friends or partners or someone who tries to call out bullshit! Fucking hell, the way Lily has g written it’s hard to not see HER AS ONE!

You have all these characters and you neglect so many of them to focus on making your favorite Dollies kiss and scissor or do nothing!

You don’t punish actual rapists either like legit what do you do when your Pokémon who’s been raised like a sister your whole life admits to mindfucking you in a weird soul bond type deal (that you wrote the explanation of yourself), then out of fear swaps dna of a Pokémon of her CRITICALLY ENDANGERED SPECIES can match with to save it with your own dna to baby lock you to staying together, what’s the thing you decide to write?

Case in point: stick an entire cactus up your urethra Lily.

I need a break from this… I’m moving on to the art misdirection.

Lily you are the one commissioning these panels from Mikayla. Meaning you are telling her how to draw these making you the literal art director of this shitty comic!

You want my advice?

USE MODEL SHEETS

Like holy shit. I need to copy paste my spiel about what it is one second:

Make a turnaround for your character(s)!

(Excluding front and back you need to make left and right versions of the rest!)

Front

Back

over-the-shoulder

3/4 view

profile

expression sheets

color pallet reference

(if it’s online/digital rgb if it’s for print it’s cmyk)

include the hexcodes for artists if it’s a small production!

lineup for height and scale for comparison to:

other characters

backgrounds

props

etc.

elements of the world + floor plan in small settings

action poses

hair guide (trust me it’s important)

these are the elements every artist who wants to tell a visual story be it animated or comic always needs:

✨A PITCH BIBLE✨

And Lily, if you’re making any story that is

A. Tied to an existing property

B. Has real world/geopolitical/historic relation

C. Needing a basic understanding to science

Do everyone and yourself a favor

AND DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH IN MLA FORMAT INSTEAD OF SOMEONE ELSES OPINIONS AND YOUR ASS OF HOLDING BULLSHIT!

Class

Dismissed

Your homework is to get these books:

[generallemarc]

It's Star Wars all the way down

Something I literally just realized about MHA: We never, at any point, get All For One's first name. We learned Yoichi's name before the Final War Arc even started, but right up to the end he was just All For One. This, like everything in MHA, is a Star Wars reference. Before Disney and Kathleen Kennedy ripped out the soul of the franchise and turned it into an endless factory churning out risk-averse content-slop, there was a little novel called Plagueis, regarding the tragic wise man we heard about in Episode III and his mentorship of his eventual killer. In it, we see the entire life story of Palpatine from nearly the moment he turns 18. And on his 18th birthday he formally changed his name to just Palpatine, defining himself by the legacy of his noble family and his ambitions thereof. He went on to eliminate all records on Naboo containing that name as soon as he had the power to do so(which was quite soon indeed considering how quickly he chose to become Darth Plagueis's apprentice), to the point where it was genuinely impossible to learn it even as early in his rise to power as Episode One. As far as George Lucas cared, he only ever had the one name. And so did HeroAca's own evil emperor. No first name, nothing to humanize him, because he cast away his humanity centuries ago. There isn't even a Shigaraki in there anymore. There was only ever All For One.

This has been my sleep-deprivation-induced ramble of an analysis that no-one asked for.

[corvuserpens]

Saw the trailer for the new The Crow movie with Bill Skarsgård and...

Well, it looks cool and fun at least, so I'll definitely sit my ass at the movie theater for the first time since Black Panther: Wakanda Forever came out, but I can't help to feel like making it a "remake" of the original 1994 film (bless Brandon Lee and may he rest forever in peace) with some MASSIVE changes (RIP to my girl Sarah and Cool Dad Sgt. Albrecht, they deserved better) was a bit of a missed opportunity? Because look, it's like this

say whatever you will about the quality of the sequels, and whether you liked them or hated them is entirely your business and valid either way. I mean, I only watched City of Angels once and barely remember it, it was that good. Never managed to catch Salvation (read the plot) and watched Wicked Prayer a couple of times (David Boreanaz and Danny Trejo were in that movie, HAH!) and I'm basically neutral about it because THAT was practically a remake of the original but in a different setting with different characters, the plot beats were the a carbon copy.

In summary, the tradition with this unloved obscure franchise is that with every movie, the story changes. You have a new cast, a new city, new villains, and the only constant is that someone is brutally murdered along with a loved one, and their soul can't rest, so the crow that carries them to the next life allows them to come back to right the wrongs before moving on. And independently of how successful the storytelling was, they at least tried to do something different each time (except for Wicked Prayer): City of Angels was about a father being brought back to avenge the murder of his son and Salvation was about a guy being wrongly accused of the murder of his girlfriend and coming back from being executed to solve the mystery of her death and avenge himself and her. And this new film is just--

Oh we have two cishet people who are in love and get murdered and they're both just called Eric and Shelly and this isn't supposed to be a reboot, it's just the same plot as the '94 movie and the main characters are different people but have the same names as the two lovers from the original and we're gonna ramp up the supernatural element even though knowing so little about it is what made the original so mysterious and tight in its themes and instead of our titular Crow looking like "a Nine Inch Nails member" he'll look "like a rapper on SoundCloud" (quoted from a great YT comment btw). Oh and Eric and Shelly are delinquents so we can toss some poorly construed redemption arc, just to spice things up a little.

Just ?????? WHAT?? That's IT????

Ever since the rumors of a new Crow movie started traveling around the internet, I was hoping they would really try and make something interesting with it because this is a kind of universe (I hate that term, fucking Marvel) where there's strict rules, true, but within its boundaries you can get really creative! Like why not have a female Crow, for a change? It's always been a male playing the part! Why not an LGBTQ+ Crow, like hear me out:

how about a lesbian couple who were super in love and happy but got murdered by homophobes one night so one of them is brought back to exact vengeance so brutal, vicious and graphic even the devil would get chills (and the anti-LGBTQ+ fake fans in the audience would shit their pants)?

And I didn't have to think too hard about that one! It's basically the original plot but with lesbians! You get a female Crow AND a LGBTQ+ Crow in the same film!!

And it doesn't have to be about lovers being murdered either, like I said City of Angels was about a father and his son, in Salvation the guy got wrongly executed for the murder of his gf, why not have a daughter coming back to avenge her mother? Why not a friend coming back bc they can't rest after they and their BFF were gunned down? Why can't it be total strangers who hit it off after meeting for five minutes and have a "wrong place, wrong time" scenario going on??? How much better would that be?

So many possibilities, but nooooooo, we gotta go with the tired Sad White Boy (no shade on Bill Skarsgård) loses his One True (Straight) Love plot and he has to be conventionally attractive (and get jacked up when he's brought back bc yeah, I mean in the original Lee's character looked exactly the same pre and pos resurrection, his only superpower was that he couldn't be killed but whatever) and look badass while killing all the bad guys. BORING. Oh and 2024's Shelly is a black woman who gets murdered, don't think I didn't notice that casual racism.

Since we're on that note, why not have a black Crow???? Or a Mexican Crow??????? I realize that in Wicked Prayer Jimmy Cuervo maybe was supposed to be Mexican, but he was still a white man (with Mexican heritage, I'll give it that) so we're back to the same white-people only club! I realize there are white Mexicans, but that's not the point, the point is to give brown skinned people the chance to play a main role where they get to be badass too! Just..... AHHHH.

Listen. Anyone who truly knows me is aware I'm a big romantic bimbo. I LOVE a good love story that ends in tragedy or in bittersweet terms bc the couple are so in love and true love never dies (see what I did there, fellow Crow fans?). But nothing is gonna beat Brandon Lee's movie in that sense, that's why I love it. What buggers me the most is that, from what I've been told, the director and writers wanted to make an adaptation more faithful to the graphic novel (which I have not read YET! I recommend Into The Depths video if you wanna know more about the author James O'Barr and his story, which is a very sad one indeed) that started it all, and yet it doesn't look like it will be any more faithful to said graphic novel than the '94 movie! Like, if you're gonna bullshit about it, at least make up a better excuse.

Hhhhhhhhhh. Hollywood's gonna Hollywood, right? Joke's on me expecting better.

TL:DR The Crow (2024) is trying to be a remake of The Crow (1994) when we already have a remake (The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2000)) instead of trying to make something new and it's silly, but I will still go watch it bc at least it looks fun to look at. And there's a bit of poetry in knowing this new flick will release 30 years after the original, ig.

Rant over.

Bloopers: try to guess how many times I ended up writing Wicked Grace instead of Wicked Prayer bc I'm back on my Dragon Age era lmaooooo.

[chai-en-kaadhale]

things that happened in the sad book apocalypse novel that I Am Not Over

----> copy pasted from my silly little notes app

- Kdj's second mother is persephone, his father is hades

- Kdj's brother is a literal monkey. I mean like 3 literal monkeys. And he is also a monkey. A magical one. Hes also a squid

- Also his first mother covered up his first homicide, which was his first father. Biologically at least

- The constellations become idols

- Biyoo's mentor as Shin Yoosung of the 41st round was Yjh, her soul was taken by Kdj and stuffed in an egg for Bihyung to hatch, so excluding whoever her bio parents were, Biyoo had a grand total of 3 dads

- To reiterate, he had a daughter with a weird troll who became the king of weird trolls. she is also a fluffy ball with a horn.

- Secretive Plotter is the embodiment of Washing Machine Heart

- Yjh becomes a girl for a bit

- Hsy is a boy when we meet her

- Kdj becomes an actual demon king

(ah yes the three genders; girl, boy and demon king)

- yjh kdj and hsy scam anna croft out of 3 million coins

- hmg's child gets possessed by a goetic demon

- kdj gets a scenario where he'll die if he doesn't socialize

- ysa slams yjh's head into a wall

- The 4th wall eats kdj's mother (as in the wanderer king)

- lhs turns into a sword and starts sobbing

- lhs gets kidnapped by the wizard of oz (in a sense)

- Surya (as in the god of the fucking sun) has a train.

- knw becomes an EVA like shinji's mom. or an EVA pilot? idk i never got that bit

- the way hmg got the child. iykyk ;)

- Buddha himself shoves the main characters into a period drama - Actaully no the entire Kaixenix arc wtf was that

- "[Constellation 'Demon Kind of Salvation'] is throwing a tantrum at constellation 'Secretive Plotter']"

- kdj beating the shit out of paul (king shit)

- jhy called kdj ugly to his face upon barely having spoken to him

- yjh fought a dog (we love breaking the sky sword master though)

- abfd made hsy move kdj so that instead of an attack hitting his <black flame dragon> it literally killed him

- "Im sure hsy and kdj are doing something very important and hard for us and thats why they couldn't stay" Cut to hsy and kdj living it up in a ferrari

- 999 yjh turns into a dumpling

- kdj turns into a dumpling

- ljh misunterstanding kdj and yjh

- "maybe kdj likes getting kidnapped"

- The pocketwatch being left on the bed after yjh leaves :(((

- 1863 hsy plagerising her way into seeing the conclusion and then becoming tls123

- kdj not liking tomatoes

- hsy's first hint of suspicion that something was up with 49%kdj being that he liked tomatoes

- 999knw,ljh, and uriel and 1863 yjh taking od to parent-teacher conferences

- hades when persephone was leaving: "honeyy do you HAVEE to leave :'ccc"

- "Terrorist identified as supreme king yoo junghyeok, 33, unemployed"

- "WEIRD SPACECRAFT SEEN CRASHING INTO EARTH WITH... TERRORIST YJH INSIDE OF IT?????"

- hsy becoming a professor who teaches stuff about webnovels

- 999yjh teaching kdj how to properly make murim dumplings

- ysa becomes tripitaka and a prospective buddha part 2

- kimcom fights the sun and also the ocean

- "yjh. where is kdj?"

- "This man. Arrest him."

- tmyfiictrwiegtmya?

- yjh eats dirt

- yjh gets revenge on dokja for making him eat the dirt

- The Secretive Plotter has been having a "domiti why not me" moment for the entire round so far so he sends kdj to kill him in the 1863rd round in such a way that yjh doesn't regress ever again but with the ulterior motive of ensuring that 1863!yjh doesn't become him in the present thereby erasing his existence (rip)

Except that just results in kdj creating both him and the current yjh, neither of which would have happened if he didnt sent kdj out in the first place thus resulting in all of his problems.

- Secretive Plotter also sent out hsy#2 to his round and she ended up becoming one of the things that caused the entire story to happen to begin with. Thus resulting in both his existence and all his problems by extension.

- tl;dr, secretive plotter fucked up his plotting so bad that it literally became the cause of all of his problems. and everyone else's problems by extension bc protagonist.

- The fact that everything is in a time loop

- The multiverse and also the fact that jaehwan is in it too

- kdj was in the subway for over 21,763 years mind if i cry

- sooyoung and junghyeok share the love language of chokehold

- hsy @ dokkaebi king: "yeahh so about the apocalypse. could you like,, not..?" or smthng like that

- everything is happening at the same time. bro. bro.

- anna croft was born in las vegas. i did not know you could be born in las vegas. i did not know that ppl actually gave birth in las vegas bc the first thing their baby would probably smell would be cigarette smoke and it would probably develop epilepsy or sumn from all the lights

- that one scene where jhw shoots up with her angel wings, hsy rides a dragon up into the sky, and yjh walks on air or something like that shit was cold

- the potential of a golden eye edit with yjh bc of his transcender eye AND IT SHOULD HAPPEN ALREADY

- kdj just having been a constellation this whole time and an incarnation the whole time as well. he kinda had the pain from both sides :(((

- hsy casually being rich asf pre apocalypse AND A NEPO BABY TOO

- the entire book was just a bunch of people ((well mostly just the two)) faced with a trolly problem on a multi-global scale, AND THEY STILL chose the one guy because he meant that damn much to them.

- Yjh misunderstanding Sangja and going, "You have a woman you l o v e" and shitittt

- That scene where yjh met btsss and just immediately ran away

- kyrgios and ngmy being exes. bro wanted a giant woman (allll you wanna do. is see me turn intooooo) and got the giantest. other bro w wanted a short king and got the shortest. they took height difference to the extreme.

- ljh calling ngmy "Grand-Master" LIKE GRANDMA BC SHE WAS YJH'S MASTER AWWDUSHDEHA

- Yoo Hosung (Reincarnator Island Fable-Control Guy) being ljh's "Great-Grand-Master" LIKE GREAT-GRANDPA BC HE TAUGHT NGMY WHO TAUGHT YJH (and also kyrgios)

- The pebble story being actually relevant ('The stone and I')

- Uriel. Archangel Uriel is a fucking nerd. Kdj is her little meow-meow

- Metatron and Agares just scheming in the great war of saints and demons like little schemers

[skeletalsepulchre]

my itemswap ishizu! i decided to indulge myself and bring back "naomi"-- i definitely wasnt the first person to come up with a yami ishizu, but when i was 12 i decided to call her naomi because of the one yugioh game that called her that, and she proceeded to live in my head rent free for a couple of years

story + design run down below cut

naomi is the product of itemswap ishizu using the rod on herself to chisel off inconvenient emotions (see: how the rod can be used to split mariks soul across hosts and rip ka monsters out of people by set) like guilt or pity or indignation in order to protect her brother and the pharaoh (ie using the ability to control minds in heinous ways). eventually all these little scraps are Not So Little and form something akin to a consciousness of her own. im not entirely sure how/when to do the emergence but unlike yami malik or the ghosts she takes a name of her own as an act of self-determination and wants to assert herself as a person through a variety of means ranging from claiming the tombkeepers birthright because shes the eldest (ishizus envy of marik) to turning on tkb (resentment of duty) while similar to ymarik in that she can be a bit of a loose cannon, i think the circumstances of her existence greatly soften the blow in the sense that she also carries ishizus sympathy for others and altruistic willingness to die for those she loves. that being said, she can also be a lot more contradictory and conniving than he is.

naomi is not responsible for their fathers death. she wasnt "born" yet. ishizu did that after he took the last piece of the puzzle from marik after he defied his punishment of odion, in order to retrieve it and give it to him. the guilt and conflicting feelings about it are what ishizu first scrapes off her own brain like burnt cheese on a stove that begins forming the basis for naomi

design wise her outfit takes elements from canon + priest set (since isis now takes that role) and the hair looking like wings 1) resembles the rod 2) resembles obelisk 3) resembles wings a la the myth of isis the goddess bc i want to tinker with isis / osiris / anubis symbolism w the ishtars she took off the hair bangles as a way of lashing out at the past and being forced to assume the role of her mother. lots of tradition conflicts in this one. hence also why she assumes the kohl of the heir-- asserting her birthright as the eldest

her fixation on personhood comes from "you cant just make me and treat me like scraps when i never even asked to be alive" & a desire to prove she doesnt need someone else to give her the right to live. which of course correlates to. well. coughs abd looks at the panel abt ishizus birth jungian shadow ahit

and unlike ymarik who was destroyed as a representation of letting go of the burden of anger and hatred the conclusion to their little arc is about reunification and acceptance but thats wip

[gnomey22]

Top 5 Therapy-Needers in Failtopia

5.

Chin "Chi" Kid. This girl went through the horrors of saving the entire world twice, got beaten up more than most other characters on both of those journeys, and was placed on the frontlines for an uncountable number of extremely dangerous fights (the primary cause of my previous point). She was locked in a dungeon for a month and had her face implanted on a feral beast, twice in a row for both of those things, and was almost completely alone for three years between these journeys, heavily implying that she's been alone her entire life. This all happens when she's 15-18. What the fuck.

4.

Deko. He may be one of the least remembered character stories in the entire series, but the story he has is horrible. He, a sixteen y/o, decided to submit himself to an unethical experiment to give himself superpowers he felt insecure about lacking, which resulted in him being trapped in the role of an Imp (a literal monster), and bound by the gods to battle for the world with some blond guy he hates. Then, he finds out that there's an alternate universe version of himself who lives a happy and normal life, all because he didn't make the same stupid mistake he himself did. This acts as his 'redemption arc', but if that happened to me, I'd take a very long time to even recover.

3.

Erica. You all know why, but I'll break it down anyways. She has no personal life to speak of, and fully immerses herself in work she doesn't even really enjoy, watching a majority of her coworkers die horribly, partially because she couldn't save them. Then, she joins a somewhat-functional team for the first time, and allows herself to make a genuine connection or two - which are then ripped away from her as soon as the journey ends, leaving her with the same overworking nightmare of a life she had before. This time, she feels the need to abandon a core personality trait, her caution, for the sake of taking out her deeply-bottled-up anger on anything that moves. Because of this, she struggles even harder to make personal connections, and can't bring herself to call almost anyone her friend, or get the concept of death off her mind for two seconds.

2.

Friend. Imagine having a little guy magically attached to your face, by accident, clearly a lost soul who needs all the help he can get. As a Cleric, helping random people is your literal job, and you're a naturally kind person, so of course you care for this stranger! He might be corrupting your mind to increase your aggression, sure, but that's a normal side effect, probably. You miss him when he suddenly disappears. Then, you finally find him again, and he reveals himself as a genocidal demon who intends to reinvent the world for the sake of a revenge plot you can't even comprehend. But you have to comprehend it, because it's partially your fault that he got this far. Not only that, but he's had a clear effect on your mental state, and you start using inanimate objects to cope with his absence, out of sheer desperation. This man has left an irreversible mark on your psyche, and even then, you were entirely expendable to him.

Honourable mentions go to Failboat, Simple Bob, Rose, Orion + Slapo Oopsie, and Bo. Mar does not make the list because he's already been through his three years of therapy, he doesn't need it.

1.

Shrimp. She was abandoned by her father in her vulnerable teenage years, and she has no reason to know he feels bad for it. Due to this lack of protection, many of the awful people in her age range take the opportunity to bully her, mainly over her greatest dream of singing, which they hate that she has. They do everything they can to make her believe her singing talent, one of the only things she has left in her life, is worth nothing, and it gets more than verbal. It's heavily implied that the reason she has an unfixable chipped tooth is because these bullies got violent, and this also gives reason to believe they bullied more than her dreams and talents, they tore into her for her very appearance too. As a result of this, she's left with no option than to abandon her home, just like her dad did, and flee to the unfamiliar surface, hoping she can do anything up there while knowing nothing about it. Her home is behind her now, she has to join a battle party trying to save the entire world just to get by. It's here, where she finds a found family she adores, but they can't replace what she's lost. She still doesn't have a single friend her age, and relies on random adults to survive out here. I don't think it's a coincidence that she has so much fan content, and enough trauma to match it, literally everyone wants this girl to have some happiness.

[anulithots]

ok so i'm a bit curious

why does anuli hate faerself, and how does faer happiness cause harm to others? i've seen some posts about faer and fae is so interesting!!! if the reason is a spoiler for your wip i completely understand!!!! fae is my favorite <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASKKKKKKK! <3 <3

I think spoilers are better than trailers, shrugs SO YES I SHALL INFODUMP!! (Also most of this is backstory and I'll eventually get to the present day plot... aka: Anuli's insane shenanigans in an effort to rewrite faerself.)

("ANULI GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE GETTING FANART AND BEING A FAVORITE!!!"

... ignore faer reaction.)

Anuli is a houseplant, and given that fae's outside and permanently separated (fae doesn't remember how and I don't want to write it... it was in previous drafts, and I wasn't feeling it.), the elders of the Unseen deemed faer as condemned pretty much immediately, no whole 'evaluation period' like with other fairies (it's a whole process that's still pretty much inescapable when someone important suspects a fairy, but since the process is complicated the elders can use the excuse that they give the condemned/fallen fairies plenty of chances.)

So while all that happens in the background -Anuli's never that aware of the worldbuilding... or the world in general - Anuli's tethered to a 'fence' near Kamari's tree, (The elders wanted to condemn them both, so they placed Anuli near Kamari... meanwhile found family ensues). Anuli spends faer day daydreaming, telling stories, and hoping that Kamari stays forever and STOPS LEAVING.

Anuli gets both understimulated (can't get faer ideas out that much and this causes faer feelings to build up) and overstimulated (faer tether is really itchy to faer and without anyone around to distract faer from it, the tether bothers faer) when Kamari leaves, which causes faer to do everything under the sun to stay happy and pleasant. Anuli feels everything so strongly: happiness, distress, boredom, and fae often gets overwhelmed by them.

To deal with said emotions, fae makes stories to process them, and its happy endings fae clings to the most, and it's happy endings fae has a difficult time with.

All that's to say, one day Kamari leaves for a little longer than usual, and Anuli gets sooo upset at everything that fae tears off faer tether and goes to search for Kamari.

One whole arc I still have to write later, in which Kamari's entire life implodes, and the platonic ship implodes, and Anuli's safe place implodes, and Anuli is effectively a fallen fairy and...

Whenever Anuli is happy, fae makes some sort of mistake. Mistakes cause pain to others, ruin thier happy endings. Happy endings are what Anuli struggles with, so the story must not want faer to have one. What sort of character can't have a happy ending, what sort of character hurts others and deserves to suffer?

Villains, of course.

And because Anuli processes all faer thoughts and feelings through stories, fae puts faerself in this box, and justifies it because every. single. time. fae's happy fae makes some sort of mistake and spirals right afterwards. Every. single. time. fae's happy then Kamari suffers (fae isn't exactly wrong here...) and it's awful and there's so many icky emotions that Anuli cannot handle. Every. single. time. fae's happy Anuli re-realizes that everyone would be better off if fae wasn't.

So fae tries not to be. (fae wants it so bad)

Fae repeats the whole 'ripping off tether' situation, Kamari's distress afterwards, over and over and over again, constantly stews in that regret, over and over and over and over.

Fae deserves it. All that self-caused suffering and little self-destructive behaviors. It's a good thing, then not only will no one else have to suffer, but faer sensitive soul won't have to deal with the pain

TL;DR: it's a safety mechanism so faer past doesn't repeat itself (it always does).

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE ASKKK!!!!! KKFDSF I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY LITTLE BEAN

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars: Return of the Thoughts

I’m over half way through my first watch through of The Clone Wars (I’m part way through the Onderon rebels arc at the moment) and it has been An Experience. I have really enjoyed watching it, even though so much of the story is just pain and despair. If it isn’t already completely obvious from my reaction posts, I have completely fallen for the clones. New hyperfixation unlocked. I love and adore all of them. This brings about its own problems because for a show called The Clone Wars, there isn’t exactly a great focus on the clones. They’ve basically been sidelined in their own show (Hmmm, I wonder where we’ve seen that done to a clone before?). When we do finally get some decent clone-centric episodes, they are all just pain, misery, angst and despair. Which explains why I’ve been dreading watching so many of the various arcs in TCW.

I’ve found that my anticipation of episodes falls into either 'outright dreading', 'generally looking forward to', 'somewhat interested in', or 'fairly ambivalent about'. Out of the three seasons I have left to watch, the only arc I’m actually looking forward to is the opening arc of season 7, because:

a) Baby Bad Batch b) ECHO c) More clones! More clone interactions and personality and character development and depth and emotions and all the things! d) Jesse and his ARC tits running around being an absolute unit e) Kix! *weeps for his beautiful hair* f) Rex being a BAMF as usual but also being all soft and concerned when he gets one of his Domino Twins back after he thought he’d lost them both. g) We even get a bit of Cody too, before he gets squished by a larty and Wrecker has to lift it off him. h) Non-chip controlled Crosshair! He smiles! He laughs! He’s snarky and sarcastic! We finally get to see the toothpick with a soul before it’s ripped out and trampled into the ground by the Empire. i) I think the season 7 premiere is where Obi-Wan cuts an actual missile in half to save Cody, and if that isn’t the most hyper competent way of conveying your love for your space husband, then I don’t know what is.

On the other side of things, there are a number of arcs that I am dreading and almost don’t want to watch. 

I’m not overly looking forward to the Mandalore arc in season 5, mainly because we have to watch Obi-Wan watch Satine get brutally murdered in front of him by Maul. Along with being utterly cruel and completely devastating, it’s also another wholly unnecessary fridging of a female character. There’s already enough man pain in this series as it is, we don’t need to add to it by killing off one of the few female characters with depth. 

Straight after this is the Jedi temple bombing arc, which I almost don’t want to watch. The way Ahsoka was treated was utterly horrendous and appalling. No wonder she left! What they did to Barriss was just as awful. 

Then it’s straight into the chip conspiracy arc, which is just more pain, misery, suffering and death for the clones. First Tup, then Fives, in what seems to be generally regarded as one of the most devastating deaths of the entire Clone Wars series. I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a lot of sobbing at the end of it. I also cannot wrap my head around the fact that Fox is the one to shoot Fives. I cannot believe that a clone would ever shoot another clone. That a vod would kill another vod. It’s just inconceivable. From what I’ve read, the generally received headcanon seems to be that Palps was controlling Fox via the chip or the Darkside. This makes complete sense, is a believable in-universe reason, and is definitely the headcanon that I’ve accepted. Blasters have a stun setting! Fox is the Commander of the Coruscant Guard. He’s a command class clone and he has a kama so presumably he’s got ARC training as well. There’s no way he’d be that sloppy as to not have his blaster set to stun. I know this is leading up to my inevitable internal conflict between fandom Fox and canon Fox (which is already brewing), but that’s another rant for another day. Either way, I'm absolutely dreading watching this arc.

I’m not really looking forward to watching the Rush Clovis arc in season 6. I touched on this in 2.04 ‘Senate Spy’ and I should imagine that this arc involves more of Anakin being abusive and controlling of Padmé, which both @0bianidalas and @coraex basically confirmed in the comments. For a multitude of personal reasons, I am really not comfortable with watching something like this. That said, I should imagine it will be a clear example of Anakin’s further descent to the Dark side and give a greater understanding to how it happened, which I gather was a key reason for the existence of The Clone Wars series in the first place.

Finally, there’s the Siege of Mandalore arc, which is just pain, misery, death and despair for everyone involved. We have to watch another perspective of the genocide that is Order 66, and by all accounts this one seems to be one of the most heart-wrenching and devastating. All of the clones are forced against their will to turn into brainwashed, controlled, mindless monsters. Jesse is turned into the very opposite of everything that he is, stood for, and believed in. Ahsoka is hunted by the very men she thought were her friends. Rex has to shoot his brothers out of self defense and to protect Ahsoka. All of the 322nd die. Rex cries. The only saving grace to all of this is that Rex is finally free, but at what cost. At what cost.

(Editor Me: My heart is already aching just going through the various gifs from these arcs. I'm going to be an absolute wreck I watch the actual episodes.)

After all of this, I somehow have to power through 4 seasons of Rebels before Ahsoka premiers on August 23. I’m probably going to have to binge watch Rebels and come back to it later for the reaction posts but we’ll see. While I have spoiled myself on Rebels in the same way I did for TCW, I haven’t been looking up what happens in Rebels quite as much as TCW. I’ve forgotten a fair amount of what happens so I think I’m going to try and keep myself as spoiler free as possible for Rebels. Hopefully that way I’ll be able to avoid this ‘dreading watching particular arcs’ problem that I’m encountering with TCW.  

It’s not all doom and gloom though. There are moments in particular episodes that I’m looking forward to.

Hondo turns up again in the younglings arc and I am all for more Hondo. My interest in this arc falls somewhere between ‘somewhat interested’ and ‘fairly ambivalent’ but Hondo is an absolute riot and I love his particular brand of chaos. He was hilarious in the season 5 premiere and stole every scene he was in so I’m very glad to see him appear again.

We finally get to meet Gregor! He seems like a fan favourite and I’ve been looking forward to meeting him. If the droids mission is anything like R2-D2 and the reprogrammed B1 droids in the Citadel arc then this should be fairly amusing too so I’m generally looking forward to this.

In a way, I am looking forward to parts of the Mandalore arc in season 5. Obi-Wan in Mandalorian armour! More sass and snark from Obi-Wan is always enjoyable and at least we get to see him rescue Satine before it all goes horribly wrong. I know I’ve made this point before but I also love it when we get to see just how damn good a Jedi Obi-Wan is. There’s a little bit of this in the season 4 finale when Obi-Wan teams up with Ventress to fight Maul and Savage (after he’s thrown about like a rag doll and we get even more Obi-Wan whump. TCW has been a surprisingly excellent source of Obi-Wan whump.) But you really get to see it in the season 5 premiere. At one stage Obi-Wan is dual wielding lightsabers like an absolute madman while fighting both Maul and Savage at the same time. Sir, your lightsaber form is Soresu, what are you doing?

I’m looking forward to ‘The Lost One’ because we get to see a bit more of Wolffe, Plo and the Wolf Pack and I am always happy when we get to see more of them. Even if it's only for a tiny bit at the start of the episode.

As painful as the Siege of Mandalore arc is going to be, there are also some good moments that I’m looking forward to. Rex and Ahsoka reunite after she left the Order. I’ve really been enjoying watching the gradual evolution of their relationship, from Captain and Commander, to colleagues that respect each other, to friends, and then brother and sister. Or ori’vod and vod’ika, if we’re going with the headcanon of clones knowing Mando’a and creating their own culture out of what they can glean from their Mandalorian origins. Rex is definitely ori’vod. 

Rex is finally promoted to commander so we get a little bit of Commander Rex for a while, and isn’t that just a delicious thought thot. 

Ahsoka essentially gets her own company in the form of the 332nd and they all paint their helmets in a pattern inspired by the markings on her montrals, which is just so damn sweet and adorable.   

Rex and Ahsoka fighting side by side, even if some of it is against chip controlled clones.

From what I can gather, this entire arc is mainly about Rex and Ahsoka, with a showdown with Maul thrown in. They both go through the wringer and there’s going to be everything from hilarious one liners, to heartfelt moments, to the absolute emotional devastation that is Order 66 and all that it wrought upon them.  

Out of the arcs that are left, they’re a mix of ‘somewhat interested’, ‘fairly ambivalent’ and ‘really not sure what to expect’. I’m fairly ambivalent about the rest of the Onderon rebels arc, which ends in another unnecessary fridging of a female character. At least Steela was more sensible and had more nuance. I could see her evolving into a great leader, in a similar vein to Leia. Saw is just another boring arrogant male who turns into a ‘for the greater good’ monster. The consequences of his actions have disastrous effects for the Empire and the rebels, or anyone who even slightly opposes the Empire. He’s not a good person and definitely falls into the ‘an enemy of my enemy is my friend/temporary ally’ camp.  

I’m ‘fairly ambivalent’ to almost disinterested in ‘The Disappeared’ arc. Anything involving Jar Jar Binks is always deeply painful and uncomfortable to watch, a point I’ve made before, so I’m not going to blither on about it again.

The final arc of season 6 just sounds weird and all very ~mystical~ Jedi. Or more Jedi osik as the more cynical of the clones would probably say. 

The Ahsoka arc in the middle of season 7 is one I’m really not sure what to expect from. I’m looking forward to meeting Trace and Rafa and I’m all for more women of colour in Star Wars. It’ll also give more context to the episode ‘Decommissioned’ from The Bad Batch and help understand exactly who they are and why they’re coincidentally looking for the same Separatist tactical droid as the Batch. It’ll also be interesting to see what happens to Ahsoka after she leaves the order and get a sense for what she’s been up to and how she’s managed to survive and cope since. I’m not sure if this arc is in chronological order with the rest of the season. Though the last episode does appear to link into the Siege of Mandalore arc, so maybe it is. The official chronological order lists this arc as happening before the Bad Batch arc and after the season 6 finale arc, so I guess that solves that then.

Aside from The Bad Batch arc, there’s no whole episode or arc that I’m actually looking forward to watching. This seems to be the main structure to TCW, hilarious comedic moments and heartfelt scenes interspersed between a whole lot of emotional devastation and heart wrenching endings. I’m still glad I’m finally watching The Clone Wars but the emotional ride from certain episodes and arcs has been something else. I’m so glad fix-it fics exist, because I’m going to need to read so many after all of this is said and done. 

I know this might seem like I’m complaining but I’m not. I’m simply being open and honest about my experiences watching The Clone Wars. I am enjoying watching it all, even if ‘enjoying’ doesn’t quite feel like the right word with all of the pain and despair and misery that happens. 

I’ve got a lot left to watch and not much time to watch it in but I’m also going to make sure I enjoy it as well. I’ll be sad when it’s finished but I am very happy and glad that I finally started watching The Clone Wars. 

[sonofthesaiyans]

Three years ago today, a nightmare repeated itself.

Of course, I am talking about the day "Assassin's Bullet" first aired, courtesy of Studio MAPPA. When Attack on Titan's best girl was cruelly ripped away from us.

All this time, and I'm STILL furious about the fate of our beloved Sasha. The very heart and soul of Titan, and who's completely unjustified and needlessly cruel and drawn out end made the entire fucking series, both in the manga and the anime, UNWATCHABLE.

I hoped so hard that season four would never get adapted after season three came to its conclusion, and those hopes were dashed when MAPPA came into the picture.

I would NEVER watch any of MAPPA's shows, all because they went through and adapted this one single, evil episode, from the mind of the very bastard who wrote it into existence.

Like in the manga this horrific scene was drawn out and designed to twist the knife to the absolute maximum. Such an undeserving fate for such a beloved character, not allowed to go out with any kind of real dignity, just given the cheapest fucking death Isayama dared to throw at us, just because we know for sure he was just that eager to rid us of Sasha, and to punish us for daring to connect to her. The blood on her mouth as she was bleeding out, unable to speak and staring blankly as she slipped away.......I NEVER WOULD HAVE TOUCHED THIS ANIME IF IT MEANT SPARING MYSELF THAT ONE IMAGE. And it's that image that defines my whole experience with AOT. And what was it all for? For THIS.

Gabi MotherFUCKING Braun. A character who nobody liked even before this chapter and episode saw the light of day, a character who is NOT interesting, NOT likable or sympathetic in any sense, a character who is NOT essential to the story, and who actively brought it down not just by stealing Sasha's rightful place, but also by stealing focus away from not just her, but from nearly every other aspect of the story that suddenly had to make room for her incredibly forced and insincere "redemption arc". That's a load of crap, Gabi didn't earn her right to redemption any more than Reiner, Annie, or Eren himself did. The fact that Gabi suddenly because Isayama's primary obsession for 80% of the final season is the most crass and unacceptable display of favoritism on the part of any author. I have never had any reason to connect with Gabi or to take any sympathy upon her, and I will continue to vie for the scene where the little bitch gets her dues. Because she did NOT earn her right to live, let alone exist in this story. And I will continue to demand an explanation for Sasha's missing armor plate. We know what the game is there........I want to hear it from the man himself for pulling such a transparent stunt. Long story short, go fuck yourselves, the staff and animators of Studio MAPPA. You are all dead to me.

And that goes tenfold for Hajime Isayama. I hope one day I'll be the guy to bear upon you all of the anger and stress I have felt because of you since the day you unleashed Chapter 105 and in doing so, stole something very precious from us. You should have left well enough alone.

And with that, something I've been wanting to share for a long time......

Courtesy of a good friend of mine. You Gabi apologists out there, you will never believe who I have to thank for giving me this fitting tribute ......

I can only hope one day, our beloved Potato Girl will finally get the justice she deserves, and restored to us as she ought to be.

There is no Attack on Titan without Sasha. 🥔 ⚔️ 🥔

(I realize this intended post is a little late.......but if you've spent enough time here, you know I'm not one to keep things brief when it comes to our Best Girl.)

[cyberdragoninfinity]

4, 20 for the yugioh ask game?

IM GOING TO BE NAILED TO THE CROSS FOR THESE I FEAR

4. Favorite season/story arc

for each series i have seen:

DM: *crying anime girl jpg* SORRY FOR BEING A SEASON 4 LIKER IM SORRY I CANT HELP IT. like objectively battle city is the best arc but Waking the Dragon DOMA Atlantis will forever be where my heart calls home. you had to be there (baby dana in 2004 getting her entire brain chemistry blasted open by cool dragons and rex raptor's soul being ripped out of his body.) again,

GX: i love the first season of GX so much and so genuinely... it's just so silly and fun and the little filler antics make me smile so much. I'm also very fond of season 4 even though it's a pretty divisive one (and a little clunky i will admit).... seeing these kids get ready to graduate and grow up makes me sooo soft ;___;

5Ds: *crying anime girl jpg AGAIN* SORRY FOR BEING 5DS SEASON 2'S STRONGEST SOLDIER IM SORRY I CANT HELP ITTTTTTT like. ok see below there are part of it that Suck but that first chunk of s2 where the gang just dicks around in the garage and bruno is there is just such a treat. anyway also my actual top fav story arc is The Ark Cradle. We Know This. I am genuinely considering getting a custom ARKCRDL license plate for my car. that stretch of episodes is probably My Favorite Chunk of Yugioh Thus Far. it makes me sick in the head. it makes me explode. What if every duel Whipped Like Hell. What if Old Man Divorce happened For Real.

Zexal: god all of zex is so fuckin good but my fav is probably that first chunk of season too, the initial Barian Invasion...it's just peak yugioh hijinks and the horrors have yet to hit and it's FUN. THEY PLAY BASEBALL. RAY SHADOWS IS VERY HERE. GIRAG AND ALITO BESTIES MOMENTS. ART STANLEY.

20. Least favorite season/story arc:

again, for each series:

DM: god KC Grand Prix was bad. i thought it was bad when i was a kid and then i rewatched it and it still Was Not Very Good. i will fight for every other DM filler arc but Not That One. Sorry.

GX: aaaahhhhhh man i gotta say probably season 3....just like. especially that first half of it. When season 3 is good it's REALLY FUCKIN GOOD but it has moments that drag like hell and are just. Not fun to watch. and im still not rly the biggest fan of what they did with Jaden's character in that season...ah well. season 4 brings it home so i cant complain too much.

5Ds: ok yeah i can only defense s2 so much i love you WRGP but when you drag you FUCKING DRAG. WHY IS THE TEAM UNICORN DUEL LIKE 5 EPISODES LONG. THOG DONT CARE. WHERE ARE MY ITALIANS. also i love the dark signers arc but that shit with the ape king. i wish i could delete you from the canon.

Zexal: i actually dont think i have a 'least fav' season or arc! I genuinely had so much fun with all of Zexal and i think there's good to be found in all of it. i luv zexal :]

[somethingclevermahogony]

Find the Word Tag Game

@sarandipitywrites tagged me here - thank you! I suggest you check out some of their stuff!

my words were blink, peer, ghost, pulse, and jaw. As of right now I only have two WIPs, books 1 and 2 of The Testaments of the Green Sea (both of which are currently unnamed, oops) and so I will be drawing from there. I think this will end up being just Book 1.

I am tagging @abalonetea, @foragedbonesblog, @theblackbookofarkera, @patternwelded-quill, @the-octic-scribe and whoever else wants to answer, if you want to play! your words will be snort, breeze, soul, crash, and blood.

Blink

... But the real excitement came in the form of a small cone-shaped snail. Snails were a delicacy among the nobility of Labisa, braised in wine and herbs, coated in olive oil or else fried in sheep’s fat, and topped with salty cheese and various herbs. The one survivor who worked in the kitchens inspected the mollusk, and after plenty of shakes of the head, double takes, and stoic nods, he declared that the snail was in fact safe to eat. In the blink of an eye, people were in the water flipping stones and digging through the sand in search of more of the delicate treat while others went about making a fire using the wood washed up on the river bank and the long dry grass that grew just beyond. 

Peer

...“A slave revolt perhaps, or the hungry rising up,” Penetinos said calmly.  “You’re not nervous?” Suru asked. “Not particularly. I have no qualms with them or with what they might do to me.” Suru frowned and opened his mouth to say something. Just then something shot through linen curtains. That something sailed through the air in a wide arc, limbs outstretched.  Gasps and shouts rang out, tables were flung and potted plants upended in the mad dash to get away from whatever it was that lurked just out of side. Suru thought he could hear something growl. For his part, the guard who had just been thrown through the curtain groaned and tried to sit up. A moment later he was joined by a peer who was slid across the smooth marble floor, one broken arm trailed at his side. He would have shrieked with pain if only he were conscious. The curtains were ripped from their hooks high above and tossed to the ground. In their place stood a hulking figure, chest bloodied by the prick of the guards’ spears. A little girl was perched upon the giant's shoulders, arms wrapped around his head. “Narul!” Suru gasped.

Ghost

“What about people?” “People? Well, they’re all around, you’re talking to one right now.” Penetinos chuckled under his breath. “No, I mean spirits. Dead people, ghosts.” This finally broke Penetinos’ concentration and he looked up from his work. His furrowed brow accentuated the lines on his forehead. “There’s no such thing as ghosts. Mortal beings don’t just become spirits. They are entirely different things. Human souls reincarnate anew in another world. Do you not know this? I know you’ve been a slave, Suru, but certainly, you have at least some passing knowledge of spirits and the cycle?” “No no, I do, it's just,” Suru paused “there are ghost stories, and well, people die with unfinished business, maybe sometimes they stay and-” “Do you really think if people could deny death and stay here on Kobani to appease their own concerns they wouldn’t? What unfinished business is so important that the gods and the universe itself should break the rules of life and death just so that normal humans like you and I can see it finished? Hmm?” Penetinos snapped, his normally serene countenance now gone. One quivering finger was pointed at Suru’s chest.  Suru opened and closed his mouth as he searched for words. The sage's golden eyes seemed to burn into his own. “I don’t know-”

Pulse

Zatar smiled and bowed with an exuberance he had not shown since his youth. “I will let you begin.” Kumad marched forward, all the while his eyes remained on the tip of the spear. With each twitch and bob he would shrink back, and each time would earn a chuckle from Zatar. “Go on Macurian, hit me!” Kumad could feel his pulse in his temples, could hear his teeth chatter. He closed his eyes and swung, he waited for the sting of bronze, but was greeted by the most unexpected of sensations, nothing. Zatar had stepped out of the way of his strike and grinned at him, he had not even bothered to lift his spear. Kumad scowled. “You could have killed me, you could have killed me dozen times over.” “Indeed.”

Jaw

 Istek looked up into the soulless black eyes. The two stood in silence. It struck Narul how different they looked, the vibrant and lively sea captain and the sickly and gangly creature.  With a strangled roar Istek swung his fist. The creature made no move to stop him. It fell to the floor, jaw shattered by the force of the blow. It half-heartedly waved its arms in the air in an attempt to fight back as Istek straddled the gaunt chest and rained blows down on that inhuman face. Blood splashed across the smooth floor. By the time Dati dragged Istek off of the creature it's face was broken and crushed. Istek's knuckles were bloody, the skin peeled. Narul made no attempt to stop him, he had felt just the same way.

[thealieninhiding]

Happy 7th Birthday Legends

Although this is about the Legends, I can’t start this post without The Flash. I didn’t watch Arrow to begin with (too dark and brooding for my taste) so my journey in the Arrowverse started in 2014 with the Flash. I fell in love with the show instantly, the humour, the mystery, the characters. But my focus today is on the legends, so let’s start with the first ones I met.

The Legends

Snart and Rory, the duo, were always a delight to see in an episode of the flash. Beginning with Flash 1x04 and following their character arc you can see there is more to them than meets the eye and that they aren’t bad people just criminals. Snart was one of my favourite characters on the Flash.

In Flash 1x08 I am introduced to some Arrow characters for the first time (but not Sara because she’s dead 🥺), and we first meet Firestorm (1.0). I love Robbie, instant fangirl, but he isn’t a legend so let’s keep going. Martin Stein’s disappearance is one of the many mysteries that S1 Flash is unraveling. The strange merging to become firestorm was such a cool story. I'm a Victor Garber fan and a big lover of scientist characters so obviously loved him in this role.

I started watching Arrow when the crossover of The Flash happened 1x08 / 3x08 so Sara was dead at the time and the main arc in Arrow was about her murder but I didn’t really care too much at the time. So we will circle back to her in a minute.

I first saw Ray in Arrow 3x9. His storyline is blurry, I remember him and Felicity were a couple and that I loved when he was a dorky little goofball but Arrow is too dark and brooding for that most of the time.

Anyway… back to Sara. I love S4 of Arrow. It's my favourite season of arrow hands down no contest, Damien Darhk is the best. This is finally where I meet Sara for the first time. The Buffy fan in me was LIVING for the resurrection storyline culminating in John Constantine restoring her soul. It’s just chefs kiss.

Kendra starts out as a small character in Flash 1x23, but it was clear to be building to something. She doesn’t stand out but the entire point of her character is that she thinks she’s just a regular person until it’s revealed she isn’t.

The final Legend to be introduced before the series is Jax in The Flash 2x04 and I’m honestly sad because I love Robbie and it feels too convenient that Stein can just merge with someone else. I go on to adore him but that’s how I felt in the beginning.

The Crossover

The Flash 2x08 Legends of Today and Arrow 4x08 Legends of Yesterday make up the 2 part crossover Heroes Join Forces and serve as a set up for Legends of Tomorrow. We get our first taste of the story arc for Legends, the introduction of Vandal Savage and the Hawks. Carter exposition dump is everything, I absolutely love the Hawks story: ancient Egypt, soulmates, deathless villain, resurrections, I eat that shit up. So I enjoyed the hell out of these episodes. The wing reveal was iconic, sure it’s very tropey but so good. The flashbacks give me Mummy vibes, I loved it so much. Time travel🙌. Seriously though, I love these episodes.

Legends of Tomorrow

The Legends of Tomorrow pilot lived up to my hype, I knew and loved these characters and time travel is my favourite sci-fi concept. I was most excited for more Snart and I just love a good ragtag team up. Reading the synopsis while I type, oh yeah, I was super pissed at Stein - seriously wtf he drugged Jax. Rip’s agenda - like I get it mate but you still kinda suck. It was clear the show had potential and the characters (and actors) had good chemistry, despite them only just getting to know each other and becoming teammates, plus time travel is just soo fun.

A wobbly first season that I still enjoyed the entire time, While by no means as good as the show ended up being, a start. It wasn’t my favourite Arrowverse show that year but it wasn’t my least favourite and some weeks it was the best episode of the week. An incredible journey from that beginning to becoming not just my favourite Arrowverse show but one of my all time favourite shows. The show went from mediocre with potential to great in the second season and then outstanding in its 3rd and then somehow each season after was it still better than the last.

Bring them back.

[jumpscaregoose]

hell in shaman king is really neat

finally freed myself from the shackles of assigned writing so I can have fun again yay

since I can have fun again I decided to actually write down one of my favourite details about shaman king: the five main character's hells and what they mean

(below cut because again it's a long boi)

I'll be going through these as they appear chronologically because it makes sense

therefore, we are starting with the one that took me the longest to figure out, Joco's. this one serves a different purpose than the other four hells and I got stuck trying to make them all relate to the same thing for an embarrassingly long time (rip floating islands theory). Joco's hell is a lot emptier than the other characters'. it consists of a bunch of barren floating islands, one of which has a giant rendition of Rodin's "Gates of Hell". The Gates of Hell are the important part (this is what I missed during my dumb era). Rodin's Gates of Hell depict the gates to the city of Dis in Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy (it's where "abandon all hope ye who enter here" comes from). In the Divine Comedy, protagonist Dante Alighieri (the Divine Comedy is just ye olde self insert fic for the Bible basically) is deemed unworthy of going to heaven, and must ascend through hell and purgatory in order to atone for his sins. This is the same theme demonstrated in Joco's hell. In order to atone for his sins, Joco must advance from his starting commune in hell to the Incan commune higher within the Great Spirit. It's literally just a Dante reference how did it take me this long holy shit.

the next hell we see is Yoh's, and it begins the trend of my first thesis on how these hells work. For the rest of the hells I'm going to talk about, they each have a direct relation to something definitive of that character's past, typically of a traumatic event. This is because these hells serve a different purpose than the first, at different points in these characters' arcs. In Joco's hell, the purpose was to move past it, towards a different commune. With the other hells, their specific purposes (which vary from exposition to character development to just here because we need one here) are within the starting scenery of the commune.

Yoh's hell consists of a mountainous area filled with ogres, demons, and the spirit of Yohken, the man who defeated Hao in the past. The purpose of Yoh's hell is more narrative than character driven. It reveals the Byakko (White Swan) over soul to the audience, as well as exposition on how Hao was defeated previously. The scenery is fairly straightforward: it represents Mt. Osorezan and the events that unfolded there. The mountainous terrain and presence of demons (included the giant one from the Mt. Osorezan arc) are clearly callbacks, as well as the prescence of Yohken, who defeated Hao with Matamune.

The next two hells are unfortunately very undefined. They don't really serve a purpose for the story except for the fact that logically we need to go there (there is a bit of foreshadowing, but that's just for a future character reveal). Sadly for me, my boys Ren and Horohoro get a total of like, twelve seconds of screentime in their respective hells. Robbery. Ren's is the simplest out of the five (given that his character arc has been the most explored by the story). It's pretty simply a rendition of the Tao Mansion and its army. Horohoro's is a bit more interesting, simply because at this point in the series his full backstory hasn't been revealed. His hell is a flooded forest, with barren trees, paths, and butterbur plants. If you remember his backstory with dam then that's depressing as hell to think about. It's also really simple with no real deeper purpose. Sad.

The final hell is Lyserg's, and this one is the most complicated, as it serves the greatest character purpose out of the five. This hell is London, during an ambiguous time period. You can see entire streets of Tudor-style houses, as well as London's modern skyline. The sky is green, whilst the streets are tinted red. There is only one demon in this hell, Mastema, the personification of hatred. Lyserg's hell serves a more significant character purpose than the other four. While in hell, Lyserg must overcome his overwhelming hatred for Hao. This is reflected in the environment. The red-green contrast is a clear analog for the space Hao takes up in Lyserg's mind, and the demon Mastema is an actual personification of hatred. Even the Tudor buildings could be a reference to Hao, with the Great London Fire, the element they share, occurring near the Tudor period (this one is a stretch and I definitely didn't google anything while writing this and find out the Tudor period ended in 1603 whilst the fire occurred in 1666 but it's neat to think about regardless).

anyways to conclude: hell in shaman king is really neat and has lots of cool details and it took me eight months to find the Dante connection and I know all about the Aztec underworld for no reason now

go rewatch shaman king if you want visuals I'm too lazy to put them in when I described visual stuff already. apologies

[justahumblesideblog]

Steve: The Character Arc Given To Us Through Subtext Part 2

Continuing onto the montage with a bit more detail. Like I said before, while the main objective is to show King coming to terms with his Titan heritage, it also works as sort of Coven Guard Steve’s “last hurrah” before taking off his mask and becoming Steve the Rebel.

There are some things I want to touch on that happened before this, but they feel like they have more weight on Steve’s arc than than this little act of Good Samaritan-ness. Still though, I think this has value to the person that Steve really wants to be moving forward.

Judging from the ice pack on their head, I think it’s safe to say that the accident that caused they wheel to get busted also caused a rather nasty head injury to the poor older demon. In “Any Sport in A Storm” Steve is put into a moral dilemma about forcing kids into the harsh training required in joining the Emperor’s Coven. Earlier in the episode Steve voiced his past desire to be one of the best, joining the EC because of that desire. Here in this moment, he is helping two demons using his magic. The little one waving happy as they continue on their way. It’s a small moment, but I can see it as Steve finding peace in giving those small moments of kindness to others while still getting recognized. Sure it’s no as glamorous as the Emperor’s Coven, but it’s real and not manipulative.

Now this personally is my favorite detail of this sequence:

Throughout the montage Steve is seen with this book titled “Synergy in the Emperor’s Coven.” Perhaps it was his way of finding closure in his previous life while King did his own soul searching. Despite bein mg disillusioned with the EC, maybe he needed to take the time to put everything into perspective before fully letting go. In the end, Steve goes from reading it, to placing it on a rock while skipping stone, to ultimately ripping pages out of the book to complete King’s attempt to mimic his father’s final resting position. In my opinion, it’s a cool way to have Steve’s own journey of self-reflecting in the background while we focus in on King’s journey of self-discovery.

“Wants can change. So can people.”

Then we get to the part I’m sure a lot of people hoped for, but maybe didn’t think we would get. The grand unmasking. Of course the conversation King and Steve have leading up to that moment shouldn’t be overlooked. Again, it’s really cool how the show’s subtle arc with Steve played along with King’s arc of with both of them reevaluating what they want in life. King wanted to be respected and fear as the king of demons. Now that he knows he’s a Titan and people like Lilith are treating him differently though, he realizes that he just wants to be a person. Meanwhile, Steve doesn’t seem to just want to be the best or at least doesn’t think his best means being part of the Emperor’s Coven anymore. So what does Steve do once King’s decides he no longer wants to be seen as a scary monster?

“Me neither.”

Once again, all the kudos to the writers and storyboarders of this episode, and everyone else involved in mapping out this man’s arc that happening nearly entirely off screen. Steve has been going the whole nine yards by not only joining the rebellion, but also sneaking out therapy (also therapy exists in the Boiling Isles! Rejoice!). Another little small detail I really liked about this scene is that King had to double check whether or not Steve actually quit being a scout because this man has been living in subtext land for so long that things had to be fully clarified in order for the story to continue.

Now what does King (along with a newly rejoined Lilith and Hooty) do once the soul searching is done! Why, surely they must join the rebellion against the Day of Unity! Oh, but how on earth can they do that if they have no way of knowing where or not even knowing of the rebellion in the first place??? OH WAIT!

That’s right, Steve has been going on his little soul quest as preparation before heading down to the headquarters with his fellow CATS! The last time we saw this man before this episode he was working under Darius, so it just makes sense that he would be involved with the rebellion at least since after the events of “Any Sport in A Storm.”

In short, Steve finding and inviting King onto his self reflection journey, lead to both Lilith and Hooty following after then in pursuit of King, which ultimately lead all of the residents of the Owl House together again. There’s something so admirable with how the writers just let this sequence go unsaid. Like, they could have easily been like:

King: Now that we figured things out, what do we do now????

Steve: WELL I GOT AN IDEA!!!

But nope! They just cut out after Hooty wrongfully attacked poor Steve, and King, Hooty, and Lilith are just there at the CATS hideout. Steve working for Darius while questioning the morality of the EC? Steve just seemingly randomly at the Owl House for Lilith’s job party? Absolutely important to get him and King acquainted. Bold. Inspiring. Legendary. All the shoulder pats for The Owl House crew.

Also, just having Steve at the Rebel low table with the other big players of the rebellion? Just planing with Darius and Raine along with Raine’s Bard protégés? Being an established member of the rebellion before any of the main characters? Amazing. Rock on Steve. You earned your place in the spotlight for the reminder of the series.

[marvelhell]

Second Chance - Spring Fever Starker Exchange!

A/N: My oneshot entry for the spring Starker exchange, written for @kreket-popcorn-lover ! Please forgive any technicalities I may have gotten wrong story wise, think of it as I'm taking full creative liberty while obviously staying true to the ship. I've never written a fix it fic before, and I'm just so happy I got to write one for the exchange as a prompt. Please enjoy!

-

    Events have clashed and the multiverse has dissolved into quite a mess, you’ll be going back now, Anthony Stark - back to your old universe. It’s how the web of fate must tangle.

Tony had no choice but to listen to every word Death told him. In the world beyond life, she was the goddess of everything, and every soul that left Earth and walked into her arms knew that her word was all. 

But Tony wasn’t without his soul in the world beyond, so he asked Death, “Why? What’s-”

Before he could finish his sentence, a horrible pressure set on top of him, there was so much blinding light he thought he was next to the sun. The air around him howled like the eye of a storm, he lost his footing, all at once it felt like he was being ripped apart - and then it all stopped, leaving Tony feeling empty inside, but relieved. His eyes were screwed shut, and it dawned on him that he was laying down on the most uncomfortable surface in any world - a sidewalk. 

Tony sucked in a horrified breath, jumping up and looking all around - his heart bursting with an insane mix of shock, disbelief, happiness, paralyzing reverence. 

His mouth agape, Tony scrambled to his feet - albeit weakly. His knees were shaking on their own, as if he hadn’t walked for months. Thankfully, no one walking around seemed to pay any attention to him, typical for New York.

New York. A place that still ran through his veins, even when he was in the world beyond - not even dying could take it out of him. 

Tony’s legs were steadying as his entire body seemed to come back to full working order, all as if he had never died. He looked down at his hand, the one that once bore the mock-up infinity gauntlet, and found it to be unmarred. All evidence of everything that had happened in the final battle with Thanos was missing from his body. The only familiar thing was his arc reactor, settled in his chest, glowing peacefully as it would any day before he died. 

As he drew his first deep breath, panic started rising inside him, Death’s words haunting his thoughts. “Events have clashed and the multiverse has dissolved into quite a mess… it’s how the web of fate must tangle.” 

The multiverse? What was going on with the multiverse where it made Tony come back to life?

Tony knew where he needed to go first for answers: the Sanctum Sanctorum. Tony started walking, doing his absolute best not to break down in the middle of the sidewalk, stumbling from bouts of dizziness. He expected to see New York start crumbling and burning around him, like all those years ago when aliens poured out of the sky, but everything seemed peaceful - a small comfort. 

“Stephen,” Tony mumbled to himself, “please be there. You gotta be there.” 

-

The sanctum looked as untouched by time as it did the first time Tony was alive. Tony pounded on the door, muttering “come on, come on!”

“Jesus,” Stephen spat as he opened the door, annoyance dying on his face as he laid eyes on Tony. 

Tony swung his arms out stiffly, presenting himself, shaking his head. “You gotta help me figure out what’s going on, Stephen, please.” 

“Come in,” Stephen said quietly, ushering Tony inside. He shut his eyes, rubbing his forehead. “Tony, God - not that I’m not happy to see you, but I need to apologize-”

“Apologize?! Stephen, tell me what’s going on! You did this? Where is everyone - where’s the kid?!” 

“Tony, slow down, I’ll get to everything!” Stephen shouted, holding his hand out as if he could physically stop Tony’s words in the air. 

“I was just… and now I’m… I’m back… I remember dying, and… everything worked out right? Thanos is done? Everything looks fine outside, but I’m here, so I don’t trust-”

“Tony, I know this is a lot, but I need you to slow down so I can explain everything to you, alright?” Stephen said in an even tone, leading Tony to the staircase and having him sit down on the cold marble. 

Tony sat down, looking at Stephen as he tried to steady his breathing. “Stephen, I -” 

“No, wait, let me explain things first, then you can ask anything you want. The… easiest way to say this is that I’ve cast a spell that… completely bled into the multiverse, which I had no intention of doing, it was beyond my control. The worst part about this is that the reason I cast the spell was because of Spiderman… but the exact reason is fuzzy. I’m thinking that the spell had to involve memories connected with Spiderman, because… I don’t know who’s behind the mask,” Stephen breathed out, shaking his head. “Every time I try to think of his face, nothing comes up. Is he the ‘kid’ you were talking about?” 

“This is crazy,” Tony huffed, “Yes, and his name is Peter, Peter Parker. So I’m the only one on Earth right now who knows Peter is Spiderman? This is insane!” 

“I don’t know what happened to make him wish away everyone’s memories of his identity, but whatever it was, it can’t be good. I wish I could give you more details, Tony, but you even telling me his name isn’t bringing anything up for me.” 

“I have to find him,” Tony muttered, getting up from the steps, stumbling with the force he used. “I have to know that he’s ok.”

“Tony, you can’t-”

“I’ll put it this way,” Tony said, turning back briefly, “I’m gonna find Peter, and then you guys will get reacquainted.” 

“Tony, stop!” Stephen yelled, trying to chase after him, but stopping in his tracks after he got past the entrance of the sanctum, looked both ways, and saw that Tony was nowhere to be found. “God help me,” Stephen muttered, closing the sanctum doors, although he prayed that Tony would come back - and in one piece.

-

“At least I know for sure that I came back to the same universe,” Tony said under his breath as he successfully keyed in the last code he remembered using to a hidden entrance he installed in Stark Tower ages ago.

Being dead - or rather, having died and then suddenly coming back to life - made everything about Tony’s mission to find Peter harder. No longer could he freely walk in the tower that he brought to life, now he had to sneak around like a traumatized James Bond to get to the technology he needed to locate Peter. Even though he couldn’t move at the time, Tony still remembered how Peter’s face looked as he lay dying, how badly he wanted to comfort him, tell him that everything would be ok, how each tear that ran down Peter’s face heightened his pain even more - 

Tony shook his head, forcing himself to concentrate. If he slipped up and got seen, who knows what would happen - and tracking down Peter quickly would become a fantasy. He checked himself everywhere for a way to activate his suit - he had installed a prototype invisibility mode into it shortly before the first fight with Thanos - but to no avail. Gritting his teeth, Tony had to remember on the fly each of the security traps and measurements in the tower to avoid detection. He mostly stuck to the stairwell, and nearly reached his lab when he turned a corner and caught sight of her - Pepper Potts. 

“No, that meeting got rescheduled, and last night we agreed on-”

“But Miss Potts!”

“I said what I said,” Pepper snapped. 

Tony felt a powerful mix of pride and sadness seeing Pepper take on his old role so well. If he needed anyone to help him find Peter, it would’ve been Pep - but he knew that he’d have to save a reunion for much later. 

 When Tony finally reached the lab, he realized that he’d have to be quick - it was clearly still in regular use since his death, presumably by Pepper. Tony remembered overhearing that some meeting had been rescheduled, so the possibility of her coming here soon was sky high. He hurriedly accessed his supercomputer, relieved that the same password still worked. 

“Welcome back, sir,” Friday’s voice spoke, sounding relieved.

Tony couldn’t hold back a smile. “Hey, Fri. Good to hear you again.”

“Shall I inform Miss Potts of your return?” 

“Nope! Nope, absolutely not, it’s - not a good time yet, Fri. I need you to help me find Peter Parker first.”

“I… apologize sir, I’m finding very few records concerning Peter Parker. There’s hardly any details with which to confirm that he’s the one you’re seeking.” 

“Give me everything you have, quick, I don’t think I have much time before Pep gets up here.” 

“Yes, sir. I have a record indicating a library card in the area registered to Peter Parker-”

“More than likely him… any listed address, Fri?” 

Friday relayed the address of the cheapest block of apartments in Queens. “Thank you,” Tony whispered, the possibility of seeing Peter soon filling him with nerves, “Thank you, Friday.”

“Your suit appears to be offline. I cannot accompany you, sir.” 

“I know Fri, I know - look, I promise to come back for you later. Do not tell Pepper I’m back.” It broke Tony’s heart to leave Friday, too, but he knew he wouldn’t be at peace until he found Peter, and made sure he was safe. 

Tony shut down the supercomputer, turning his head to check his surroundings, barely breathing. He made a beeline for the stairwell, inhaling sharply as he heard the lab elevator ding right as he reached the stairs. 

-

Tony prayed that Peter would be exactly where Friday told him he’d be, and that this wouldn’t turn into a colossal waste of time. His heart was beating faster every second as he made his way through the maze of motel-converted apartments, lurching to a stop as soon as he laid eyes on the correct apartment number. He didn’t hesitate, knocking hard on the door. 

“Peter!” Tony said loudly, knocking on the door twice, harder this time. Is he not home? Tony thought, looking past the blinds in the window. He was able to see dim light coming from a tiny desk lamp, so he had to be there-

The door opened. “I sent in rent on Thursday, Mr. Miller, I swear -” 

Tony saw Peter’s face for the first time since the final battle with Thanos, the one  that claimed his life - and Peter was even more beautiful than Tony remembered him being. His heart stopped. 

Peter stopped talking, taking a step back to fully look at Tony. His eyes widened, blinking rapidly as they filled up with tears. He stepped back further, harshly rubbing his eyes as he struggled to form words. 

“-dreaming, Mr. - Mr. Miller - Tony?! Mr. Stark, you’re… are you real? Is it really you?!” 

“Peter,” Tony began, his voice breaking from the emotion. “Yeah. It’s me.” Tony stepped towards Peter who barreled into him, holding on tighter than he did when the snap claimed him. 

“Please be real,” Peter sobbed, pulling Tony inside of his dingy apartment. “Please be real, please be real,” Peter continued to sob, his fingers digging hard into Tony’s back. 

“It’s ok, you’re ok, I got you,” Tony comforted, holding Peter firmly in his arms. He was overcome with an urge to kiss Peter’s hair, but the last thing he wanted - could bear - was to make Peter repulsed by him. But it felt amazing holding Peter close to him, to finally know that he was safe. 

Peter pulled back to look at Tony, his face flushed from crying. “You… you remember me? Please say you remember me!” Peter clutched onto Tony’s shirt tighter, as if doing so would make his desperate wish come true. 

“Of course I do, Pete!” Tony said, reaching behind him to shut Peter’s door, hoping that no one had heard them. “But - look, Stephen told me that something big happened with you. What happened? Tell me everything,” Tony demanded, putting his hands on Peter’s shoulders. 

“But - this isn’t a dream, right? You’re really back? You gotta tell me what happened!” Peter exclaimed, blinking away more tears. 

Tony could feel himself thinking with his heart and not with his head as he held Peter’s face in his hands with a gentle touch. “I… can’t really explain it myself. I was dead, and next thing I knew, I came back here - I was told I had to come back. All I’ve really put together is that it has something to do with the multiverse, and… a certain wish you made. Stephen told me a bit about it, but couldn’t explain everything - so that’s where you come in. I just need to know that you’re not in danger, Pete.” 

“It’s - everything’s been so hard after you… left… everything just fell apart, Mr. Stark… everyone thought I was a murderer, I fought this guy, Mysterio, Mysterio told everyone who I was, before he died - he made it looked like I killed him, and then MJ and Ned couldn’t get into MIT because of me, there were people coming after me and May, everyone hated me, and it was a disaster,” Peter buried his head in Tony’s chest and started sobbing again. “I didn’t know what to do, so I made Stephen cast a spell to make everyone forget I was Spiderman, except for a few people.. I kept interrupting… and then I lost May, I had to start over, and now you’re here, and it’s definitely my fault, but I’m so happy because I needed you so much, Tony,” Peter cried, holding on to Tony so tight that he feared he’d hurt himself. 

“Peter, I’m gonna do everything I can to help you, ok? Even if it just means getting you out of this dump -” 

Peter giggled - the sweet sound was the best thing Tony had ever heard, even before he had died. “It was all I could afford,” Peter said, his voice more steady as he looked back up at Tony and smiled. “Well, we’re gonna fix that,” Tony promised, unable to stop himself from running his hand through Peter’s hair. “Although I might need some time, seeing as… everyone except you and Strange thinks I’m dead right now.” 

“You can stay with me!” Peter said, taking hold of Tony’s hand with no hesitation, making Tony’s heart pound in his chest. “I know I don’t have much room here, but  I’m sure I can make it work, somehow, I still need to go grocery shopping this week, I’m really sorry, but-” 

“Peter,” Tony interrupted, “you never have to apologize for anything. I die, I come back, and you’re still apologizing - even after all of this, you haven’t changed at all…” Tony looked directly into Peter’s beautiful, innocent eyes. “I don’t want you to change.” 

Peter visibly blushed, averting his eyes to the floor, with a shy smile. Fuck, Tony thought, did I never notice how perfect he was before? 

“Well, I have changed a bit, I’m sorry - shit, I gotta stop saying that -”

Tony wrapped his arms fiercely around Peter, stopping him mid-sentence. He gripped on to Peter as if holding him close would ensure that they’d never be separated again. Tony inhaled, shuddering, before whispering “I thought I’d never see you again, not until you died too - I’m so, so sorry for leaving you, Peter -”

“Tony,” Peter said, pulling back to look at him again. “You saved the world, you saved all of us, you sacrificed yourself, I just… I guess it makes me selfish, but I just didn’t expect you to -” 

Every last bit of restraint that Tony had vanished, and the rush of pure love that coursed through him as he cut off Peter’s sentence with a loving kiss, taking Peter’s hand in his, but holding it with a gentleness that even he felt unfamiliar with. Barely a moment had passed before Tony felt Peter kiss him back, and he felt nothing but joy, pure elation - until guilt came crashing down on him, making him rip himself away from the boy he desired so much, cursing under his breath. 

“I’m sorry,” Tony spat. “That was completely out of line, I’ll - show myself out. Please be safe, Pete.” Tony felt his heart sinking as he raced towards the door, ready to accept his fate of permanent shame, before he felt Peter clamp a hand on his shoulder and jerk him back around. 

In a flash, Peter slammed Tony up against the wall, kissing Tony fiercely, mumbling “no” in between kisses. “Don’t leave, don’t go.” 

Tony couldn’t help but give in, kissing Peter back, filled to the brim with passion, but shame overtook him once again, making Tony tear himself away. “No, Peter, this is wrong, I was wrong, I’m an idiot. I don’t know what I was thinking. You don’t know what you’re doing, you don’t really want this -”

“No!” Peter shouted, shaking his head. “No Tony, you don’t know how I really feel, you have no idea -” 

Tony held Peter’s face in his hands again, firmly this time, holding eye contact. “Don’t just agree with what I want, just because it’s me. I need you to think for yourself, there’s no way we should be involved together -” 

“Why don’t you believe me, Tony?! I’ve known how I felt about you for longer than I wanna admit, please, I’m begging - I thought I’d never see you again, please kiss me!”

“Peter, I swear to God, if you push me any more, I’m gonna -” Tony could feel himself break into a cold sweat, “I’m going to lose what frighteningly little control I have with you right now. I’m… older than you, to put it lightly, I don’t want to be the bastard to tie you down when you still have your whole life ahead of you,” Tony said, trying to fight back tears. “You mean so much to me, Peter.”

“I love you,” Peter said firmly, not taking his eyes off of Tony. “And I’m sorry about a lot of things, but I’ll never be sorry about being in love with you.”

Tony swore that he could physically feel all remaining hesitation and shame leave his body as he let himself go and kissed Peter with everything he had, every part of him feeling on fire with devotion. Tony finally broke away for long enough to shakily tell Peter “I love you, too.” 

“We’ll start over together,” Peter said quietly, pressing his forehead against Tony’s. “I don’t care what we do, I don’t care where we go, as long as I’m with you - I can handle anything.” 

It was in that singular, desperate, honey sweet moment that Tony realized the real reason why Death brought him back to life - it was so he could have this second chance with Peter, to have what he longed for most, to hold Peter, to be able to love him. He knew he would die and resurrect all over again, just to be able to love Peter without ever having to hold back. 

“But first,” Tony began, kissing Peter once more, “there’s someone I promised to reintroduce you to.”